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#getting back into journaling is doing something to me but idk what it is
happy-cup · 7 months
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people dont know how therapeutic it is to go through old magazines and cut out all the fancy letters
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rosicheeks · 3 months
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i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.
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#uhhhhhm no you HAVE NOT SENT THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?!#I literally am speechless#I’m not super talky right now#but even if I was I feel like I’d still be fucking speechless#like I already said I love your writing 🩷#and it fucking BLOWS ME AWAY when people write about me or use me as an inspiration#like????????? what??????? me???????????!#I’m going to keep this close to my heart and look at it whenever I’m feeling down#I don’t remember if I said that already but it’s true#I need to get a journal or a cute box to put things like this in so I can just grab it and look through them when I’m feeling shitty#one thing I needed to say is the fact that you shared this with me now of all times??? is kinda crazy to me#idk if it’s a coincidence or if the universe/God/whoever/whatever is trying to tell me to go back into music and singing#not going to go into it too much but I’ve been looking at my life a lot lately#and I’m realizing I’m not getting any younger…. I know I’m still young but if I don’t do something soon -#my life is going to completely pass before my eyes and I really really don’t want that#I’m *finally* going to get mental help soon (long story but I have to wait a few weeks)#and once I’m actually mentally stable I can focus on what I want to do with my life#so I’ve been thinking a lot about my performing arts background and then randomly a get an email from a choir director I know#asking if I could please join the choir for their Easter performance cause they could really use my high notes#and she just kept complimenting me and it felt really nice ☺️#then when I went to the first rehearsal I sat next to this girl and we were singing a part and the first sopranos go up to a high A#and I can hit it easily but most of them couldn’t so it felt like I was going this mini solo lol#but she asks me what my range is and I told her that back when I trained I could sing queen of the night which I think goes up to an F6#and she was talking about how impressive that is#and it made me think about if I actually trained and got back into it how good I actually could get#I don’t mean this to be like ‘look at me look at me I’m so good’#it just feels nice to have a little bit of a direction again#who knows if I’ll actually go down the music path again but it does sound damn exciting#I miss it with all my heart - I miss singing and performing and acting… I even miss music theory#anyway rant over and i ran out of space but thank you so much I seriously can’t thank you enough 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
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prozach27 · 2 years
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Morrowind really took a few days to get comfortable with but honestly it’s so fun once you do?? I can see why people enjoy it. It has so much just straight up weirdness and a million factions to join and stuff. You can tell Bethesda or whoever embraced the weird with this game, and then oblivion sorta streamlined it and made it more lord of the rings, then skyrim made it fully unstoppable. Morrowind’s really alien and rough around the edges but once you get used to the mechanics it’s low key so addictive lol
#basically the big one that took getting used to is that you miss when you attack a LOT#if your stamina is low (and it often is because you move at a snail’s pace and have to run) your character is exhausted#and so if they try to cast a spell there’s a decent chance it’ll fail and if you use a weapon there’s a good shot it won’t hit#if the weapon or school of magic is low level it then becomes much harder to hit also#level 30 or so is when it’s pretty consistent and by 50 you pretty much always hit#but level 5? 10? 15? no. you will literally never once hit your target#which is actually kinda neat mechanic wise because it’s the first time in an elder scrolls game where you really do need to use the trainer#like having a trainer level up your skill is a necessity and idk I think that’s so cool#also you can wear rings that are basically free spells to cast that always work#BIGGEST DIFFERENCE BY FAR: it’s from 2002 and quest journals just didn’t exist then#so basically they tried by giving you a journal that updates with a lil bit of info when something important happens but it misses details#so like… everywhere online says you legit need to get an actual physical journal and take notes#not even for basic quest stuff but also you have to buy directions to towns and stuff rather than aimlessly explore#and it’s honestly so weirdly fun to flip back to your actual real life journal and be like ah yes I took good notes I know what to do#or follow the directions you wrote down after someone told you and then end up at the right town#idk it took a minute to get used to but it’s the most weirdly satisfying part of the game to me now lol
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a-passing-storm · 6 months
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I have forgotten that it is actually kind of Therapy Homework for me to post things online!
#this sounds really stupid and questionable i know. but basically.#i have an issue where any time i do Anything i feel the need to tell my friends about it for validation and attention and stuff#which means that when they don't respond immediately i feel shitty and also. when we do have conversations i have nothing to talk about#but online especially here on tumblr i really do not give a shit about it#but like. i still get to get it out and be like “OH MY GOD I DID SOMETHING”#it sounds kind of weird i know but it works for me and it improves my relationships with my friends lol. ideally someday i will not#need to acknowledge Everything I Do like that but for now tumblr is WAY healthier than like spamming my friends lol#so anyway! today i went to a new bookstore in my area and it was GREAT and i added a Ton of books to my list (the classics section!!!)#and also there were some people in the d&D section and i joined in on a convo of theirs abt paladdins. i was kind of awkward about it but#i'm still glad i talked and they seemed pleasantly surprised if slightly amused by the interaction! but like really. it is SO cool#that you can just meet people in public!! and especially that bookstores are sort of...#directly conducive to meeting people with similar interests just based off of how the sections are organized#i got a collection of Poe and a history book#aLSO i went to costco for the first time#and i baked oatmeal raisin cookies! haven't baked since i started high school p much but i'm getting back to it after thanksgiving cooking#and they came out pretty decently!#and i just made like. a cucumber salad kind of. idk what to call it. and i really like it. ya boi is cooking a lot now bc#he remembered how fun it is#anyway! yeah i really need to get back to journaling in general too!!!#dante dicit#journal tag#ig#might delete
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miinos · 1 year
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wah
#typical leon behavior (late night agony)#forgive how unfiltered this is going to get but nobody reads these so it's ok. maybe.#anyway! back pain cause of the weight of my chest. not new. but God its getting to me#idk if its cause I got the green light from my mother that. if I can get surgery on them it won't land me without a home.#but it's always on my mind. it's not top surgery. a reduction. but it's still fucking masisve#not only from a trans pov but a general health pov I need medical intervention#it hurts so much! in so many different ways! and it's like. nothing I cna fucking do#dealing with that sorta physical hardship while also having to deal with raunchy comments from ppl#strangers and family alike on my body!#and how I should be 'lucky'#I am so close to liking my body it does not feel good to be so close to accepting my self but having to deal with thr biggest worst#most painful and angering and hateful part of myself every day#in others comments and just. pain#I don't know. I can't even remember what I'm saying in these tags after I post rhem#and this COULD go into a journal but I write abt it so much in there I need to shout#abt it in a new place to at least feign the feeling of being heard and understood#my doctor appointment is in August. just a few fucking months. God.#I still have to convince my doctor that I need this direly. I mean. I think I can. one look at my health says I need it. but#since when did medical ever make fucking sense#I can't even sit up without my back killing me. can't even vent my issues in doom or something. hell is real and it's inside my chest.
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totheblood · 9 months
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cutty love.
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pairing: ellie williams x reader
summary: ellie becomes your best friend and you stumble upon her journal
warnings: this is purely fluff, cursing, suggestive themes maybe once? idk very soft
a/n: this is because i want bff ellie and also domestic ellie and also wanted to put eleven labs to the test with their new features so please... enjoy! AI AUDIOS SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE FIC also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses
wc: 2.2k
"all my dreams my dear they are of you."
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spring came fast to jackson.
dew painted the grass on early mornings and little patches of snow began to melt into the soil. winter was finally over and you were finally back on farming duty. however, you weren’t as excited as you thought you would be.
patrol was something you would have dreaded a year ago, the idea of entering the outside world terrifying you completely. but as winter came around, and farming became obsolete, maria had warned you you needed to sign up for a new task. your dumbass, however, signed up too late and both stable and kitchen work were all filled up. patrol became your only option. 
on your first day of patrol, you were assigned with dina. she basically held your hand through it: walking into buildings first, showing you how to aim and shoot your gun, and teaching you all the best places to hide. it was an easy day with one encounter with an infected (who dina shot on sight).
your second day you were paired with jesse, who was, to your surprise, gentler. he made jokes when he could tell you were getting scared, always walked with his hand outstretched in front of you when walking into new territory, and taught you how to make a molotov cocktail.  you felt safe with them.
on your third day, you were paired with ellie who was less than kind at first. upon seeing you she rolled her eyes and scoffed, mumbling something like, “why do i always have to be paired with the newbies?” 
to avoid confrontation you simply kept your mouth shut. you were supposed to be partners and you were going to do your best to keep yourself alive. like the others, ellie walked into spaces first and after clearing the area for any infected, started a small fire in the lookout to keep the two of you warm.
you stood at a distance from her where she was placing her palms just above the fire and then rubbing them together for warmth. you watched on with a shiver, shaking as you looked out the window.
“you’re not going to get warm from all the way over there,” ellie spoke up, causing you to snap your head in her direction.
“what?”
“the fire is over here. you have to stand close to get at least a little warm,” she commented, beckoning you over with the wave of her hand, “here, come get warm.”
“oh,” you stepped closer to the fire, sitting down across from her, bathing in the warmth the fire offered.
“you’re not really talkative, huh?” ellie chuckled, taking picking at her nails as she spoke.
“uh, no, i usually am,” you laughed nervously, looking to the raised skin around her nailbeds.
“oh, so you just don’t like me?” her tone was joking, but there seemed to be an ounce of vulnerability to it. her eyes looked up to yours, scanning your face for a reaction.
“no, i just,” you took a deep breath and shrugged, “earlier you said you didn’t want to be stuck with the newbie so i didn’t want to be a bother or anything.”
“shit,” she breathed, pinching the bridge of her nose. all of the skin around her nails were raw and red, “i’m such an asshole. i didn’t mean it like that. i’ve just had a shitty week.”
“no, it’s fine,” you forced a smile, “i understand. i’m just nervous and this is all new to me.”
she paused for a moment, looking you over and taking another deep sigh. 
“i’m not usually an asshole.”
“sure.”
“no, seriously, i’m usually nice.”
“i believe you.”
“ok, i’m kind of nice, but i’m doing my best.”
“it’s fine, i’m also an asshole,” you spit out and she laughed. a full chested laugh that went on for what felt like a minute. it was the kind of laugh were all of her teeth showed and wrinkles formed by her eyes. it made your chest feel warm. 
from that moment on you and ellie became close friends. if you knew you were patrolling with her you would bring her a corn muffin wrapped in fabric. she’d say something about how good of a cook you were or mumble a ‘fuck yeah’ before stuffing half the muffin in her mouth. if she killed any infected later she would say something like, “that was only for the muffin. you’re gonna need to bring me another before i do any more of your dirty work.”
occasionally, she would bring her guitar and show you some of the music she was writing in any downtime you had. she was always so excited too, saying something along the lines of: “let’s try to clear this area as fast as we can so i can show you my new stuff.”
when you sat in front of her, legs crossed in front of you, you watched as a bright blush spread across her face before she sang. 
“this is new, so take it easy on me, okay?”
at some point towards the end of december she came to your house with something wrapped in fabric. her whole face was red, but you couldn’t tell if it was from the snow or her nervousness as she shoved the present into your hand.
“what’s this?” you asked, eyes wide ushering her in from the snow and shutting the door behind you.
“it’s a christmas gift,” she smiled, “i don’t know if you know what christmas is but people used to celebrate it back in the old days. joel told me about it and now we celebrate it every year. it’s basically just a holiday where you give your loved ones… or friends a present. they used to pretend this big fat guy with a beard came down people's chimneys and gave presents to kids who were good but i guess they gave up that idea. santa probably got infected or some shit. anyways, this is for you.”
when you peeled back the fabric, a picture of you sketched out on charcoal was on a piece of thick paper. you looked beautiful. it almost looked as if ellie had spent hours looking at your face and studying all the tiny details of it. not to your knowledge, but she had. 
a gasp fell from your lips as tears welled up in your eyes. you didn’t even have time to thank ellie before you were squeezing her tightly in your arms, causing her to cough. you were literally hugging her so tight she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t mind it. she took a deep breath and hugged you back, smelling the pine on your hair and skin. 
“i love it, ellie,” you whispered, “thank you.”
when january came around, ellie decided you didn’t know how to hold a gun. most of your shots were misses and the drawback made you stumble back. you were becoming a liability, but mostly ellie feared for your safety. all it took was one fall and you would never be the same again.
so here ellie stood giving verbal directions on how to hold a gun. you, however, were a mess who didn’t know your left from your right.
“your left foot! i said your left foot!”
“this is my left foot!”
“babe, that’s your right.”
“oh,” you switched legs but it wasn’t good enough. ellie came up behind you, placing her hands on your shoulder and fixing your posture. the heat from where her hands were on you radatied throughout your body and went straight down your legs. she stepped closer, placing a hand on your stomach and pressing it lightly. your breath hitched. 
“okay, now move your hand like this,” her free hand moved from the base of your arm to your fingertips. she adjusted your stance slowly. slow enough for it to feel like foreplay, “just like that. yeah, good girl.”
you could feel her breath on your neck where your scarf didn’t cover. it was all too sensual and then SNAP. a sound in the distance made her jump back and step in front of you, her own gun drawn in a matter of seconds.
your gun stance was never revisited after that. 
but now it was spring, and you would no longer be on patrol. as much as you liked spending time with ellie, it was still too much of a risk for you to take when you enjoyed farming so much. when you told ellie a big pout broke out on her face as she dramatically reached for you. 
“what am i going to do without you on patrol?” she whined, squeezing you so hard it made you laugh.
“we can still hang out,” you reminded her, pushing her off you, “plus maybe i’ll be back on patrol next winter.”
“yeah, but i liked having 8 hours of us time. now we will get like 4 hours a day max,” ellie leaned her head back on her couch, the dramatic pout still there. 
“how about we meet here every day after our shifts and have dinner together?” you offered, making her face light up, “i can cook and everything.”
“okay, but you have to sleep over at least once a week,” she demanded
“deal,” you smiled, teeth showing.
“if i’m not here though you can just let yourself in,” she casually commented, “i’ll give you a spare key.”
it went on like that for weeks, you coming over after your shift and making dinner and laughing with ellie about something joel or dina said until you eventually fell asleep on her couch. some nights you would watch a movie together, others you would bake something together (even though ellie usually tapped out when it came to cracking an egg). if ellie was running late or something you would make up time by cleaning up your mess from the kitchen or tidying up the living room, but by that time she would be stumbling through the door and apologizing for being late. 
this night, however, ellie was running extremely late. you had already cleaned both the kitchen and living room and there was still no sight of her. to avoid anxiously pacing around the room and waiting for her, you decided to clean her room. you swept the floors, wiped down her bedside table, and began making her bed before you noticed a notebook tucked in between her bed and it’s frame. 
you pulled it out of its place and examined it. it looked like it was frequently used, the edges of it torn and dirty. the yellow pages of the notebook were slightly hanging out and it looked like pages had been ripped out and stuffed back in. you shouldn’t read this, your mind rang clear. you wanted to respect ellie’s privacy, but curiosity got the best of you. 
you flipped to a middle page, skimming over some entry about how much joel was being an asshole before stopping at your name. your name in her notebook with hearts drawn around it. your name written in pink over and over again. below the different variations of your name was a paragraph, presumably about you. you read it in ellie’s voice.
“another successful patrol. and by successful i mean i tricked her into holding my hand. i probably sound like such a creep but all i want is to be close to her. i want to hold her hand as we walk down the streets of jackson and kiss her in a booth at the diner. when she got scared she would squeeze my hand a little. it made me dizzy. this crush feels like it’s going to ruin me. i think she may ruin me but i don’t even care. all i want is her.”
you smiled, flipping a page, heat rushing to your cheeks as you read another passage about you:
“i sang a song for her today that i wrote about her. she told me my voice was beautiful and asked who it was about. i panicked and told her it was about cat. fucking cat!!! i haven’t thought about cat in fucking forever. i just want to tell her already because this is so fucking embarrassing. she probably thinks i don’t like her but i do. what if she never knows? i’ll tell her eventually… i will.”
you sit down on her still unmade bed, reading the next page.
“i wanted to kiss her so bad today. ugh. her lips were all red and pouty from the cranberry juice and when she smiled her teeth were all red. she asked why i was smiling at her and i told her that her teeth were all red. she looked so embarrassed and got up to clean them. i felt like an asshole but that’s better than being rejected by her right?”
another one.
“we watched curtis and viper today after patrol. she cooked us chicken and then cried because it was her favorite chicken. this girl has the biggest heart in the world. when the movie was done we just talked about what life would be like if the apocalypse didn’t happen. she said she would have been a teacher or some kind of helping profession. she’s fucking sweet. i told her i’d probably be a dentist or a lawyer. something fun. i left out the part where i’d want to come home to her every night. i’m such a loser. i think i love her.”
the last part made you gasp, except the gasp wasn’t coming from your mouth, it came from the person standing in front of you. ellie.
“what are you doing with that?”
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targaryenluvs · 11 months
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— ALL MINE
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pairing - prowler!miles morales x reader, miles morales x reader
summary - whilst on the run, your boyfriend miles and yourself were taken home. although your hometown is not as it seems. with a shadow clinging to your every move, will you make it out of this universe? part two - not yours
warnings - possessive!prowler miles, he’s like low key delulu, swearing, violence.
notes - i am absolutely in love with prowler miles. THE BRAIDS HAVE A CHOKEHOLD ON ME. sorry if this seems to resemble other fics but i just wanted to do my lil version since all the others are half way done :P and i’m writing again since i’m in the holidays :) also idk if miles can make people invisible but for the sake of this text yes he can. also big fancy words idk if i used em correctly. comment for p2!!!! also pushing the 42miles calling his girl ma agenda 😘
wordcount: 2.1K
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you had to catch your breath.
you’d never been the most athletic person in p.e and it certainly wasn’t going to change then and it certainly won’t now. but as miles eggs you on to keep moving you ignore all the un-athletic bones in your body and push yourself to keep running.
as you reach your destination miles grabs your hand and the two of you creep your way inside. miles begins to mess around with computers as margo tried her hardest with the help of lyla to figure out what on earth was going on.
as miles scanned his eyes he pulled you into his arms, “you okay?” he asked as you nodded, “for now, as long as miguel-”
and to your luck he barrelled through the doors at the exact moment you uttered his name. “bloody mary much?” you muttered under your breath as you took a step back.
and as he clawed and fought his way in your hand tightened its grip on miles’s. “it’s okay, he’s not getting in y/n/n. it’s okay.” and as he reassured you to the best of his abilities you couldn’t help but feel grateful. he always put you first, no matter what.
always made sure you and his family were okay.
and his reassurance managed to calm you down as margo looked up at the two of you, her finger hovering over the reboot button but as she looked between the miles and you, she couldn’t help but aid the two of you. as miles pulled his mask over his face, you saw the pure rage painted over miguel’s face and you couldn’t help your indignation towards the man.
but you didn’t see him for long as the pair of you were sucked out of the room and travelling at the speed of light (or so it seemed) to freedom.
the lights were harsh on your eyes.
as you adjusted to the luminosity of the neon signs you looked to your right to see miles on the floor.
“miles? miles!” you rushed over and rolled his body over as he coughed, “i’m okay, i’m okay. how about you?” you smiled, “i’m fine babe. we made it, we made it home miles.” you cried as you engulfed him in a hug.
he smiled as he reciprocated, “thanks to you y/n. but we needa get goin okay?” you nodded as you stood and helped him up by his arms.
“hold on tight.”
you’d honestly forgotten how nice the cold air felt on your face. the thrill of swinging through the city, passing people by as they stared in wonder, slinging by and grabbing a few treats on the way, yours and miles’s normal routine almost everyday in the past six months. you never knew you could miss a place so much.
but being with the spider society and being at the HQ managed to make you deeply homesick.
as you neared miles’s home you felt a weight being lifted off of your chest.
you were almost there.
you had gotten home in time.
you’d save mr morales, be allowed to call him jeff and his wife rio, miles would have his father, he’d continue being spider-man, the two of you would move to new jersey (fingers crossed), miles would study something new (seeing as the two of you have had your fill of other universes in the past few days), you’d study journalism, you’d get your own place, travel, live and love.
together.
as you got to his rooms window you held on to the ledge as miles opened the window and carefully guided you in. you’d never expected to feel so elated at seeing his single bed, his action figures and posters, everything. but as you entered, the waves of fatigue messed with your head to the point where you managed to overlook the contents of his room.
you were so exhausted you didn’t even manage to make it to the bed and relaxed in-front of it in the corner. as you looked around you couldn’t help but frown. it looked, different.
some things were missing such as all the posters and figurines. you chalked it up to mrs morales packing them away perhaps, or miles moving them to his own place.
as you slowly drifted off you missed the creak of the door opening.
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rio walked through the door with her laundry basket clung to her hip.
miles turned around quickly, relieved to see his mother. “ah mom, you don’t know how happy i am to see you.” rio furrowed her eyebrows as her son ran over to smother her in a tight hug. it’d been so long since he’d acted so.
and was his hair out?
he seemed shorter too.
what on earth has this boy been up to?
as he rambled on explaining himself she couldn’t help but smile. he seemed so, innocent. before everything, before the pain, before the loss, before it all happened, before he changed, permanently, before her.
“miles, i think it’s cute your into uh what’s it called cosplay? you one of them comics-con kids?”
“what’s that? i- no, this isn’t cosplay ma.”
as she walks into another room miles stands frozen as his uncle aaron walks into the home. albeit a different version of his uncle aaron but it doesn’t change the way miles’s hands are sweating, his heart threatening to implode.
as aaron rested a pile of cash on the table miles stared in awe. “you ready to go miles? damn you took your braids out? what’s going on man?” he joked as he walked to the door his hand gesturing miles to follow along. “yeah lemme just grab something and i’ll be there.”
miles shook you awake and asked you to follow along but not too closely.
you were perplexed as to why but followed along nonetheless. as you made it to the door you saw aaron in-front of miles. and suddenly something came at miles, knocking him out.
you ran to him, “miles! shit, are you okay?” you felt your chest tighten as he didn’t respond, his finger tips twitched yet he was unresponsive. “fuck what the hell did you do aaron?”
aaron couldn’t believe his eyes.
how- what?
you were there. sitting, cradling miles’s body in your arms as you stared up at him.
alive.
“y/n?”
it was a whisper. but you caught it. “no i’m the fuckin sun. yes it’s y/n.” you said as you continued to inspect miles, looking for any signs of injury.
“you want her too?”
your head snapped up as you heard aaron speak again, he was looking behind you and you honestly didn’t have the energy to see someone else right now but as you looked back you wished this was a bad dream.
the prowler.
he stood tall, not as tall as aaron but at least a few inches more so than miles. his suit was a little different, his claws sharper and his mask. he nodded towards aaron, yes.
it was as frightening as aaron’s. aaron. if he was right infront of you you then who the hell was thi-
your head was throbbing so much, but you were currently being tended to. or, you thought you were. someone was lightly dabbing a wet cloth on your forehead, your head was supported by something, it was nice.
when you built the strength to open your eyes you saw miles. “arriba mi vida.” you squinted. “what?” you saw a slight smile on his face, “try to get up.” miles wrapped his hand around your neck, cradling it as you attempted to get up.
you rested against the cold wall as you took in the environment around you. “where are we?” you asked miles as you tried focusing your eyes, you swore you saw the outline of someone tied to a, was that a boxing bag? the light from the window behind them illuminated their outline, their face left unknown.
“shh, está bien y/n.”
“miles you know i cant speak spanish that well.”
“i’m sorry, i forgot. you feelin’ okay ma?”
as you were about to respond the body tied to the bag started to move and mumble, causing you to actually realise that someone was tied up. your eyes were adjusted now and as you looked around and settled on miles’s face you couldn’t help but frown.
“since when do you wear braids miles? and do you honestly think this is the right time to try out a new hair style?” you questioned as he got up, “you don’t like my braids? you use to do em all the time ma.”
your eyebrows furrowed as the body finally came into focus, and you saw-
miles?
you slowly rose from your spot on the floor and looked back and forth from both miles’s. the one in front of you had a certain way to him. his shoulders straightened, taller than usual, hardened face, he seemed so, formal.
whilst your miles was a sloucher most times, not short but he didn’t tower over everyone, usually with a smile donning his face and always easy going.
“i- you.” the words scrambled out and you had no idea what was going on. all you knew was that you needed to get out of here. as you walked towards what you had assumed to be your miles, other miles grabbed your hand and yanked you back.
“whatchu doing?”
“i was seeing my miles. what are you doing? why did you tie him up?”
“can’t exactly have someone running around my streets with my face now can i?”
“okay, i understand that miles but you need to let me go. we need to get back to our universe otherwise mr morales is gonna- and we can’t let that happen you know that. untie him. please.”
“why would i do that shit? what’s so special about him? why does he get to have everything so good? his school, his friends, his family- you.” other miles was getting a little too close for your liking and you found yourself backed up against the wall. not a great position to be in when completely helpless and tired as hell against someone who could probably throw you across the room.
his hand came to your face as he pushed away a stray strand of hair from your eyes. “i- did we- did you date someone like me?”
“not someone like you ma, i dated you.”
“no you dated another version of me. that’s not me, that’s her, wherever she is i’m sure she missed you and if you picked up the phone and called-”
“she’s dead.”
your eyes widened, “i- i’m sorry for you. and for her. i’m sure you loved her a lot but, i’m not her. you’re not my miles, my miles is right there. and i love him. please you have to let us- me go. y/n wouldn’t have wanted this for you i’m sure of it.”
“you gonna tell me she wanted me to be happy?”
“uh i’d assume she wanted that for you. i’m sure you guys were amazing together miles.” you smiled as you tried to suppress your fear. it was hard to, you could feel it slowly creeping in, the miles in front of you was hypnotising, his eyes were warm so warm you could feel them burning into yours. he was absolutely gorgeous, the soft glow from the night life outside highlighting his face. he was so gorgeous it was insane as well as scary. he took your breath away, the same way your miles did.
“we were, and we will be again.”
“i’m not so sure you can bring people back from the dead. i understand you miss her but you need to let her go and move on. speaking of moving on miles and i should be moving on back to our universe so if you would so kindly-”
“i got her right here ma.”
his grip on your hand tightened as he somehow got closer. all the air had apparently hopped out of the room since you felt your chest tighten.
“no me dejarás de nuevo mi vida. your staying with me, here.”
“You won’t leave me again my life.”
“stop it, i understand you’re hurting but please just-” you tried with all your strength to push him away but his feet were planted firmly into the floor, as still as a statue and you couldn’t help but cry.
you’d escaped one place to be potentially imprisoned in another.
“shh, shh y/n/n. i got you right here.” he held you as you sobbed, praying your miles would wake up soon and save the two of you.
as miles held onto you he couldn’t help but feel his tensions and sorrow seep into the floor as he held you again after all this time and as he did he couldn’t help but whisper,
“you’re mine mi amor,
all mine.”
2K notes · View notes
yndrgrl · 11 months
Text
yandere! bakugou uses you to get to someone else, but ends up falling for you instead
long ass fic. fem! reader. regular! au. enemies to lovers. lowkey crack! fic. tsundere! bakugou.
warnings: nsfw, noncon/dubcon, manipulation, somnaphilia (idk how to spell it), degrading, bullying, spitting, public sex, hatefuck
a/n: requests are open :) (plz request something, idk what else to write about 😭)
---
"no." that's all you said. so flat, so robotic. that's all you wanted to say.
bakugou was a pushy man, however. "it wasn't a question."
"oh for real?" you gasped, putting both hands to your cheeks to show your faux shock. "no."
"listen, you're gonna help me win over uraraka-"
"no, i'm not, bakugou," you denied once more. you don't even know why he came to you in the first place. it was clear as day that uraraka had a major crush on izuku, & izuku liked uraraka just as much.
honestly, what surprised you the most is that bakugou even had a crush. i guess it makes sense that it would be on uraraka though.
"yes, you are because i have something over you," bakugou threatened lowly.
you scoffed, "oh, do you now?" there wasn't really much he could have over you that would make you help him-
he slammed a journal on the desk, a slam echoing throughout the library. it was your personal diary.
you lunged for your journal, but he snatched it & threw it into his bag. you screamed at him, "how'd you get that, you sicko?!" the only way he would've gotten that was by breaking into your dorm room.
"are you going to help me or not?"
yes, you could've bought a nicer, leather journal with handcrafted pieces of paper, glued recent pictures of your life & decorated the pages with washi tape, stickers, & colored markers, but you didn't want to start over yet. your journal is a year & a half old, every page nearly filled; it's a deep dive into your mind. every overwhelming event in your life, every good memory, every goal you strive to achieve is written down in that book. bakugou katsuki had that all in his possession.
that's why, two days after you found out what he has, you're sitting with your usual study group in your designated, outdoor study area-- plus bakugou. your bluetooth speaker played a playlist shared throughout the group. you sat on the edge with uraraka beside you & bakugou across from you.
"y/n," someone said, catching your attention; it was uraraka. "i didn't know you & bakugou were friends."
you wanted to laugh. you quickly told her, "we're not-"
"we're good friends," katsuki overlapped with his lie. his scowl upturned into the smallest smile when uraraka glanced up at him.
"oh wow, i had no idea! the two of you are so hard-headed, i wouldn't have expected the two of you to get along so great," she said back with a giggle. you loved uraraka, but she's too friendly sometimes.
bakugou, trying to play into the cool-bad-boy character, said, "yeah, well she makes it hard sometimes, but it helps when she has cute friends, i guess."
never in your life did you think you would hear big, tough bakugou flirt in your life.
they continued their conversation that you tuned out, rereading your notes & constructing plans on how to get your journal so you could expose him. everyone was invested in their own stuff. obviously, bakugou & uraraka were talking amongst themselves. momo was explaining to jirou & mina some math topic that they were sobbing about. tsu was on her laptop as she tried finishing a power point that was due the next day.
your chin was propped up by your hand, humming the song that started playing. "um, excuse me," a masculine voice called out. it caught the attention everyone at the table. you heard bakugou scoff, & you could only assume he rolled his eyes.
you looked up at the source of the voice. he was right in front of you, face red, cheeky smile. he was cute in the way that a puppy eager for a treat was. "you're y/n, right?"
"yeah, i am," you confirmed, matching his grin.
he introduced himself by saying his name & told you that he was in the hero-support program. he then said, "i just wanted to say that you're just really pretty."
compliments were one thing. compliments from complete strangers always messed you up though. "oh, th-thanks." you're so awkward.
"so like, maybe i could get your number, & we could go on a date or two?"
you glanced back at all your friends, who all had big smiles as a way of non-verbally saying, "get your manz, bitch!!"
bakugou on the other hand, had an expression of confusion & anger-- the anger was permanent though.
"i mean, i don't give out my phone number, but maybe we can snap or something?"
the guy nodded with enthusiasm, pulling out his phone to give you his username. "cool, well sorry for wasting your guys' time," the boy said to you friends before turning to you & saying, "i'll hit you up later?"
"can't wait," you replied back.
as soon as he was out of earshot, mina squealed, "oh my god! you're such a flirt!"
jirou teased, "you're so awkward, it's literally so funny."
"you're my pretty best friend," tsu croaked with a laugh.
"guys, nothing is gonna happen," you said with a blush. "i'm just gonna be his friend."
"how does it feel to be hit on for the first time, loser?" bakugou yawned, as if he's been hit on ten million times by fan girls & milfs or something.
mina retaliated, "what are you talking about? y/n gets hit on all the time!"
uraraka jumped in, "yeah, what's was that? guy number five?"
"y/n?" bakugou questioned, & all your friends nodded. "that thing? doubt it."
"what's there to doubt? you just saw it," you growled at him, he annoyed you so badly.
after that study session, he got uraraka's number like he hoped for, but he was more curious about you. he never realized until that day how often you do actually get men's attention. bakugou always assumed you were some bookworm, writer nerd who leeched off of his darling, uraraka for popularity & personality.
"i don't get it," bakugou muttered, staring at your figure across the cafeteria. he was surrounded by his friends, who all followed his gaze.
kirishima groaned, "dude, just ask uraraka out already." it was routine that bakugou would say something about how shitty nerd, deku, isn't good enough for her affections or how he would be a better match for her.
"no, it's not that," bakugou corrected, glare not breaking off of you. this caught kirishima, denki, sero, & mina -who sometimes sat with you as well- off guard.
"what are you talking about, bro," denki asked.
"i don't get it. she's not even that cute," bakugou scoffed, slouching back into the bench. his eyes finally tore away from you & awase from class 1-b.
"who?"
"y/n, i think," mina assumed, & when bakugou didn't deny it, they all knew she was right. "why does it even bother you?"
"it doesn't," he said, glancing back at you. awase left you, & in his place was the floating, fighting machine uraraka. he didn't feel the need to say anything about her though, but he felt like he had to. "she's weird, uraraka shouldn't even be friends with her."
"there it is," sero sighed, making all the others laugh.
"shut up," bakugou scowled at them. everyone was used to it, so they weren't that threatened.
"but seriously, bakubro, don't hate on y/n just cuz she's best friends with uraraka, & you're jealous," kirishima told him. he always did this to the blonde. he wasn't scared to tell him off.
bakugou, infuriated, yelled, "i'm not jealous of her, okay? it's just stupid how she has everyone wrapped around her finger, so don't be some dumb, y/n defenders. hop off her fuckin' dick."
"i'm just saying, man. she's super cool, has a useful quirk, & is an awesome fighter," kirishima said, holding his hands as a way to show he was backing down.
"if i were you, bakugou, i would be trying to be her friend," mina said.
mina's words played on repeat in bakugou's head for a week. it was driving him crazy. even though that bridge of being friends was already burned & he kept telling himself he doesn't care, he can't help but want to be closer to you.
he said it was all for uraraka in the end. after all, when they were texting the other day, she said that she would want a future partner to get along with her friends or else it'll be a deal breaker.
bakugou deduced that if he was on favorable terms with you that uraraka would fall for him-- & maybe you too. he felt himself physically jolt when he thought that. why in fucks name would he want you to fall for him? he thought for a second. it's not like he wants to be with you or anything, but he doesn't want you with anyone else.
he somehow found himself in front of your dorm door past curfew. bakugou, at this time, was usually asleep, dreaming about a life where him & uraraka lived happily ever after. however, tonight was different. he didn't feel like thinking about the short-haired brunette.
he doesn't even know why he's outside your door.
in his head, he rationalized that he just loves uraraka so much that he'd give up sleep to become your friend. it was such an urgent situation that he didn't even bother putting on shirt.
he fished in his sweatpants' pocket for a lock pick, the same one he used to break into your dorm the first time to steal your journal. bakugou jammed it into the lock, opening the door with ease. he shut the door carefully before stalking further into your room.
there you were on your bed. swaddled in your fluffy duvet, cuddling a stuffed animal. you must've felt his presence because your sleeping self started shifting & ended up kicking off your blanket. you ended up on your stomach, one leg crunched towards your side while the bottom leg laid straight. you faced away from bakugou.
his breath hitched, something inside him twitched. bakugou couldn't help but stare. he had to admit that you had the body of his dream girl. wait no, his dream girl was uraraka-
he cut his own thoughts off when he saw how your ass looked in that position. the blue hue from the moonlight flowed into the room because, for some reason, you felt no need to close your curtains. he could make the shape of you so clearly. he reached for you.
he told himself that he wouldn't be cheating on his soon-to-be lover. it's just a touch, a friendly touch that friends share with each other.
his fingertips ghosted over your exposed thighs. you were wearing nothing but thong & an oversized band tee. the gentle touches turned into full-palm caresses. her skin is so smooth, bakugou thought. he loomed closer to you, inhaling deeply. she smells so nice.
he climbed over you with the agility of a shadow. the bed didn't even creak. he kneeled over legs, & his hands found your plush ass. he kneaded your bare butt, shifting you so you were fully on your stomach. you remained unmoving; you usually take melatonin gummies right before bed anyways.
bakugou kept groping your ass while his cock hardened into its full length. his hands wandered, thumbs grazing over your entrance. he grasped you, & he spread your ass cheeks apart. you must be dreaming about something dirty because your thong was soaked.
bakugou readjusted himself so he was on level with your ass. "this is just what friends do," he hazily whispered to himself. "friends help friends get better."
he blew on the wet patch, watching your pussy twitch through your panties. bakugou waited for a second, trying to grasp at any sort of self-control but, when you subconsciously propped your ass higher for him, he couldn't help it. he mentally apologized to uraraka before he dove into your ass.
his tongue licked your clothed slit, & he felt how thin your thong truly was. he only got an inkling of what you tasted like, & he craved more. bakugou lapped you juices through your panties, dampening the light grey cloth into a darker shade. his jaw hinged open to allow his tongue to delve further down.
he found your clit through your thong. he pressed his tongue against you, & sleeping, unsuspecting you let out a moan. "oh fuck," bakugou whispered in response, diving back into your pussy.
he pulled your thong up. it rode higher in your ass, then the part the was covering your pussy disappeared between your lips.
he started eating you out again, groaning in pleasure when he finally got to touch your bare skin. he slurped your juices over & over.
bakugou didn't realize that he pulled his sweatpants & boxers down to his knees. he pulled away from your pussy, a string of your juices & his saliva connecting him to you.
on his knees, he positioned his big cock between your ass. a moment of clarity hit him, it wasn't right, he knew that deep down. you really didn't do anything to him.
your phone next to your pillow buzzed. he grabbed it, his hung cock still pressed against you. it was a message from uraraka that read, "wait what did you wanna tell me about bakugou earlier? you looked so concerned haha."
you were trying to tell him? what a fucking bitch, bakugou thought with pure hatred. you were trying to sabotage him with your words, your pretty little mouth, with your dumb, stupid body.
his rationality was once again thrown out of the door. uraraka would want me to show y/n her place, he thought. he climbed off of you. he had to show you what your mouth was meant for. your mouth wasn't meant for snitching, it was meant for sucking cock-- his cock.
bakugou turned your head & pulled it at the edge of the bed. thankfully, it's like your body already knew what was gonna happen, your mouth was already agape. he pushed his tip past your lips. your tongue lazily stroked against his length. he moved his dick in & out of your throat, & yet somehow you still remained motionless.
his control turned into animalistic thrusts, gagging you over & over, & you still stayed asleep. "fuckin' stupid bitch," he groaned, throwing his head back. your throat expanded with each thrust to accommodate his thickness & length.
spit & his precum spilled out of your mouth & onto your silk pillowcase. because you were sideways, his heavy balls slapped against your face, nose shoved into his pubes. you gargled & gagged in your sleep, but you still handled him so well.
his passionate angry finally swelled up & shot down your throat. even though he was cumming, he kept half-assed thrusting in your throat, coating every inch with white. all for uraraka, remember? because bakugou completely forgot what drove him to do what he just did.
the next day, as you entered the classroom, he heard you tell to uraraka about how the melatonin gummies really worked. "yeah, i was completely knocked out! i drooled so much, my pillow was drenched. it was disgusting."
"really? i know that they're good, but i never drooled that much. maybe you really needed that sleep."
as they passed bakugou's seat, uraraka waved at him with pink cheeks. "hey, bakugou."
"uraraka," he said back to her. he watched your smile drop into a frown, your eyes rolling. he was winning over uraraka, he knew that, but he didn't feel satisfied. he yearned the banter between the two of you more than uraraka's affections. "what was that, idiot?"
uraraka was shocked at first, thinking he was talking to her until she heard you shoot back, "shouldn't you be watching ochaco instead of me?" if he didn't know any better, it sounded like you were jealous.
"y/n, let's calm down," uraraka sheepishly suggested, but it only angered you more. why was she on that weirdo's side? why wasn't she on your side? even after you told her what he did to you, she didn't even care; in fact, she seemed flattered.
"yeah, calm down," bakugou chimed in with that disgusting, cocky smile, "go in the back & drool all over your desk."
"eavesdropping now? you really are obsessed," you huffed, marching towards your desk that was, in fact, in the back of the classroom. you thought uraraka was right behind you, but by the time you turned around to sit in your chair, you noticed her take a seat next to bakugou.
the bell rang, & in rolled your sleepy teacher, mr. aizawa. he called roll, held an hour long lecture while you took notes, then assigned a 4-page essay with three sites sources. after he was done, he questioned, "now that we're done with that, what is happening today?"
iida's hand shot up along with his entire body.
"go ahead, iida."
"the 1a students from ketsubutsu academy are training with us today." oh right, you completely forgot about that. you were not in the mood to socialize with those uptight, cocky rich kids today. even though you took the melatonin gummies the night before to ensure a goods night sleep, you got everything but that. you felt like you were melting all night, & now you just felt restless.
"good, iida is correct," mr. aizawa confirmed. "they're already waiting in training facility a, so get dressed & be there in 10 minutes."
"yes sir!" & they all scurried out of the classroom.
your entire class entered the facility in their hero costumes. like mr. aizawa said, the visiting students were already there, stretching & warming up. mr. aizawa, once he noticed his entire class, announced that on the white board was everyone's names & assigned training group for the day.
everyone, including the other class, crowded around the board to find their names. "y/n!" your best friend, who you were extremely pissed off at, cheered. "we're all in the same group!" we... all?
you look at uraraka to see who she was referring to. "it's just my luck," you groaned, of course it was bakugou. "i just had to be put in a group with you!" you wanted to shout at everyone. you wanted to shout at uraraka for being swooned by a creep, you wanted to yell at mr. aizawa for putting you in a group with bakugou, & you wanted to scream, jump, yell, & hit bakugou over the head with a bat just for being the aggravating, prideful bastard he is.
"we just had to have a weak fuckin' nerd in your group?" he said to uraraka, but glanced to his side to meet your eye. your fuming expression really got him going. "there's no one more annoying than you-"
"are you y/n?" someone questioned. that just be the last person in your group.
you looked up at him, & with a half-hearted smile, you said, "i am."
"nice, i'm in your group," he told you, "i'm yo shindo. & i must admit, i was not excited for this whole group training thing until i saw a pretty girl like you was in my group."
oh, so he was a flirt? honestly, you didn't mind at all; you needed something to distract you & what's a better distraction than a buff playboy?
"honestly me too, but i think it'll be fun with you," you said back, but you overthought what you said. was it cringy?
bakugou was watching the whole exchange, brows furrowed, vein popping through his skin on his forehead. uraraka noticed, & because with the new-found knowledge that bakugou really liked her, she stroked his arm & asked, "are you okay?"
he looked at her with the same look of anger, now mixed with discomfort, & shrugged her off. "yeah, i'm fine."
he turned his attention back to you & shindo. bakugou's hands sparked ever so suddenly when he took in the scene in front of him. you were eating up all of shindo's praises & brags. your hands tried to squeeze around his biceps but you just couldn't connect your hands. "wow, your muscles are so big~ you must be strong."
"of course i am, i gotta be so i can impress pretty girls like you after all," he winked at you. for a moment, you glanced at bakugou, feeling his harsh glare, & he looked like he was about to explode. you didn't know why though, doesn't he have what he wanted already? he has uraraka right there, & yet he's still mad at you. he still owes you your journal too, so the two of you were not on good terms.
"sorry, i didn't mean to get carried away," you told shindo, pulling your hands away.
as the two of you walked towards uraraka & bakugou, shindo said, "i don't mind, you can touch me wherever, whenever."
you couldn't help but laugh out loud. "god, you're such a flirt!"
"you seem to love it though-"
"y/n, would you stop being a hoe for one second & train like you're supposed to?" bakugou said to you, hands stuffed inside his pockets, looking so nonchalant. you blinked a moment, & you waited for uraraka to say something or to rush by your side. she didn't do any of that
all she said was, with a giggle & eyes staring at bakugou, "that was mean." yeah, it was. it really was. the tips of your ears burned in humiliation, your palms became sweaty, & your breathing was uneven. after uraraka was done ogling bakugou, she looked at you, & her eyes widened. never in her entire childhood friendship did she see that expression on your face.
"dude, i don't know who think you are, but don't talk to her like that," shindo said, stepping forward & slightly in front of you. your tense shoulders relaxed just a bit-- someone is in your corner.
the amused bakugou turned pissed off when your new, little boy-toy went to your rescue, even though he knew you didn't need rescuing. "h-hey, let's save it for training, yeah-"
"i'll talk to y/n however i want, damn weak fuck," bakugou replied, copying his movements & stepping forward. "you're just like her: fucks anything that moves, huh?"
"bakugou-"
"that's it!" you shouted as you shoved bakugou away from shindo. the three of them -bakugou, uraraka, & shindo- were shocked to say the least. he pushed you too far all for entertainment & some obsession. "you're such a goddamn coward, you know that? all you are is a bully who's play-pretending to be a hero! you're such a control freak that, even after you stole my best friend, you still need to have something over me, so you won't give me back my stupid journal. & worst of all, you just stare & glare & act like i'm scum when you're the actual piece of shit! & you're not even ashamed! you want everyone to know! i hate you so much!"
after your tangent/rant, you walked away, quirk firing left & right. you didn't need to hear whatever bakugou was going to say next, it was probably be something so degrading that winds up in her next journal entry.
the three of the gawked at you, watching you walk straight to the state-of-the-art punching bags. uraraka was the first to speak. "i'll talk to her. i've never seen her that... mad. it was like she was a whole new person-"
"you guys are terrible classmates. there was no reason to say any of that. i'll go talk with her," shindo cut uraraka off. before either of them could do anything, bakugou was already strutting towards you, gauntlets sparking.
"who does she think she is?" they heard him utter. they were out of earshot, however, when he said, "making me fuckin' hard then walking away. damn tease."
he caught up to you in no time. you were almost to the punching bags when he grabbed your wrist, his hand was warm & a stinging sensation engulfed your wrist.
uraraka & shindo watched as the two of you screamed at each other, you shoving him, him glaring at you, you throwing a piece of your costume at him. honestly, it would've been comedic if it wasn't for bakugou pressing your buttons.
"what are they? toxic exes or something?" shindo questioned as they began to walk towards the fighting two.
"oh, no, not at all! i would've known," uraraka told him, "they're just... um... friends i think. maybe enemies."
"i can tell that much."
when the actual training began, you & bakugou tried to separate from each other. you were paired with shindo & him with uraraka. but, because of the conditioning & the way today's training was set up, it was inevitable that you two would interact again.
like at lunch, the two of you sat across each other at a table, eating your lunches. you didn't bother speaking, you didn't even want to see bakugou ever again, after all.
or at the water fountain, when he said, "hurry up." & so you took longer, even though you weren't thirsty anymore.
or when you had to rotate partners & bakugou was your only option. the two of you, against the rules, threw quirk-backed attacks each other.
& that's how you two ended up being excused early. while everyone else was getting better, you were locked out & forced to change back into your school uniform, & the only person with you was bakugou.
when you left the changing room, he was leaning against the wall-- almost like he was waiting for you. "you done being mad at me?"
"no, i'm not, & i'll never stop being mad at you," you said, walking right past him. he followed close behind you.
"listen, i didn't mean to embarrass you. i didn't know you'd get so pissy."
"what did you think was gonna happen?!"
"i don't know, okay?" the two of you were yelling at this point.
"you have ochaco, can you please just give me my journal & leave me alone? you two can be happy far, far away from me," you said, cursing yourself for choking up. you mentally prepared for the teasing & "witty" comebacks bakugou had in store.
instead, he asks, "are you jealous?"
"what?"
"are you jealous?"
you scoffed, opening the door to the dorm building. "don't flatter yourself, big guy."
"i'm being serious," he said to you as he leaned on the counter. you were so hungry that you didn't really care bakugou was watching you cook. "because i was."
"what are you getting at, bakugou?" you asked, putting a pot of water on the stove, bringing it to a boil.
"i was so jealous today," he said.
"of what?"
"of damn shindo kid," he responded back. your angered expression contorted into a puzzled one as you looked up at him. when you didn't reply, he continued, "if i knew stupid one liners got your attention, i would've been doing that sooner."
you couldn't believe what you were hearing. the guy who's been making the past few months hell was confessing something you never expected. "what about ochaco, hm? i thought you needed her to breath or something."
"yeah, i guess i liked her at first, & that's why i needed your help," he admitted. he then fished a journal, your journal, out of his bag & stood up. he walked towards you, hand outstretched with your beloved diary in his grasp. you reached out for it when he lifted it above your head with a taunting smirk. "but then i realized that i wanted you this entire time."
--nsfw starts here--
"you're just saying stupid things to get a rise out of me, bakugou," you rolled your eyes at him. you placed a hand on his chest as you jumped for your journal, fingers touching it ever so lightly. it was just out of reach.
you thought you had it, he brought the notebook down. however, you didn't have it. he threw it on the counter behind you, & the hand the was holding it snakes around your waist. his other hand grabbed your face, stroking your cheek as he kissed you.
you don't know why, but you found your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. without breaking your lips apart, he pushed you against the counter, pinning you between his two arms now. his tongue, the tongue that craved you since that unknown night, licked your lips before fighting yours for dominance. his thigh was between your legs. he pressed your core against him, & you moaned.
bakugou shut off the burner during your kiss. he was expecting the two of you to escape into his room, but when you threw off his tie & unbuttoned his shirt eagerly, he knew he needed you right then & there.
the two of you broke your kiss, & he placed his head in the crook of your neck. "you get off on making me jealous, don't you? that's why you were flirting with stupid shindo?"
"wh-whatever, you jerk. you act like you weren't basically grinding on ochaco in front of me all the time?"
bakugou laughed into the nape of your neck. "grinding? all we did was talk."
"same fuckin' thing," you growled in frustration.
"i didn't know you were so jealous of her."
"oh, fuck off, asshole," you said. you were quickly shut up by him biting your sensitive spots all over your neck, sucking & licking to create hickeys.
he took off your tie & ripped open your shirt. he unhooked your bra, throwing it god knows where. "take this fuckin' thing off," he uttered, helping you out of your torn clothes.
"h-hey!"
"shut up, & take it. i'll buy you a new one," he said before fondling your breasts. you bit your lip as your grinded against his meaty thigh. your wetness, even though you had panties on, began staining his slacks.
"bakugou~" you whispered, voice shaking.
"it's katsuki tonight, dummy," he told you, turning you around & bending you over the counter. you brushed your journal out of the way as you pressed you tits onto the cold, granite countertop.
with three fingers, he pinched your pussy through your panties so his middle one snuck in between your lips. "stop being a tease & fuck me already." if only you knew.
"be patient, woman," scowled katsuki, smacking your ass. he set of small sparks when he hit your cheek. "you can't take this cock yet. i'm doing you a goddamn favor."
you doubted him, you really did. he was so cocky & arrogant, how could you not? "i can take your tiny dick any day, don't underestimate me."
katsuki let out a hearty, sarcastic laugh. "you really think so, dumb bitch?" he unclicked his belt, dropping his pants & boxers around his ankles. he started to grind against your ass, & you swore up & down it felt like deja vu.
you gasped as you felt his length between your ass. you've had dreams about cocks that big, sure, but you didn't know they actually existed. "wh-what the fuck?"
"what? still think you take me? still think i'm tiny, sweetheart?" katsuki taunted as he took off your panties. he pressed your thighs around his cock, the base of it stimulating your swollen clit. he thrusted gently; it was so against his brash, aggressive character.
you were not one to back down, so at least you stayed true to your character. "yeah, i can take your skinny ass dick-" you were cut off by katsuki spreading your ass & shoving his girthy length into your throbbing heat. you screamed, tongue hanging out of your mouth as you tried to adjust to him.
he wouldn't let you though. katsuki, once inside your tight pussy, started pounding you. he shoved his cock head into your g-spot over & over, making you quiver & pulsate around him. "sl-sl-slow d-down!" you begged between thrusts. in response, he pulled your head back with your hair. you arched uncomfortably; your pelvis was still against the edge of the counter, but your head was pulled so far back that you could see katsuki's face.
"you think you're all that? you think you can just flirt with all these other guys in front of me? you fuckin' slut," he spat into your mouth, not that it mattered since it mixed with your drool & fell out of your mouth & onto your cold body. "i own you now. i own this mouth, i own this pussy, i own this ass, i own you."
"f-f-"
"c'mon, pathetic whore. say it."
"fuck y-you, katsuki." oh, you were a brat through & through clearly.
katsuki has had enough of your retaliation. you were supposed to be a brainless bimbo begging for more, yet here you were, surprising him again. any bit of consciousness you had, he was going to fuck out if you.
he, without pulling out, let go of your hair & made you stand up. he grabbed both your legs & hoisted you into this air. his hands found their way behind your head, & you couldn't move. you were nothing more than a cum dumpster to him now. "you know, if anyone walks through that door, they're gonna see you folded in half, tears streaming down your face with my cock balls deep in your dripping pussy, & they'd realize how much of a slut you are, & they'd know that you're all mine."
you didn't mean to, but your pussy clenched around his cock tighter as more of your juices squirted onto the linoleum floor. "oh, you like that, princess?"
you moaned in response, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he praised you. "aw, how pathetic. you must love when i call you cute nicknames & tell you how good you're doing." with whatever head movement you had, you nodded.
"that's a shame because you've been nothing but dirty, i can't treat you like a good girl until you deserve it."
"p-please! i'll do anything!" you cried out, then you started twitch uncontrollably around him. a white, hot wave of pleasure washed over you as you creamed all over his cock. he wasn't done yet, he still abused your cervix, making you beg for him to stop, or at least slow down.
his thrusts turned rapid as he started to groan about how you were all his, how he wasn't going to let any other man look at you, how he would be the only one you ever think about. you knew that was all true. "y/n, you fuckin' bitch, i hate you & your pretty, little face. take it all," he yelled as he unloaded his load into your tight pussy.
you screamed in overwhelming pleasure, squirting all over him once again. the two of you caught your breaths. he set you down once his cock finally stopped twitched, & he spun you around to embrace you. "i'm so sorry, y/n. i promise i'll be the best boyfriend in the world, just give me a chance. i know we're enemies or whatever, but i don't wanna be that anymore, & i don't want to be whatever this is; just fucking like we hate each other then go our separate ways." you've never seen this side of katsuki before.
"i-i'd like that, i'd like to be your girlfriend."
you hated him. you hated how he made you feel. you hated how he infected your mind, how he ruined you for any other man. you hated how you knew you needed him.
2K notes · View notes
seattlesellie · 1 year
Note
hi angel i saw u say you wanted more fluffy ellie requests and i thought about maybe something along the lines of the cute pics she has of you two in her phone idk it’s just something i thought of u don’t have to write it if u don’t want to i just love ur blog and everything u write 💗💗💗💗🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
not about love ♡
pre-dating slightly loser college!ellie 🦕 incoming !! basically u go through ellies phone and find… something. part 1 of… maybe?
warnings: slightly mean ellie for a second, sexual tension, mentions of weed and alcohol.
part 2
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Tic-Toc, the gentle sounds of the ancient clock in Ellie’s room filled the thick air. a gift from Joel. It was a warm, lazy afternoon. You almost fell asleep, almost. Her bed smelled like her, so did the ruffled, Nirvana t-shirt you were laying on. Everything in this room practically screamed Ellie. The scent, the sketches on the wall — of Dina, and Jesse, and you. Why did she have more sketches of you than anyone else? A dinosaur lego, a miniature solar system, obscure band posters, Oh! here’s the pin you gifted her once!, two pairs of mismatched socks, a random rock (“It’s from like, the moon” she said. It was from the local science museum.)
“El” you whined, receiving a gentle hum in response.
“I’m bored” you exclaimed with a heavy sigh. It's not as if she owed you any attention, she told you she had to study. For some reason, some odd reason nor you or her could put your finger on, you had to be there with her. “Well” you excused. “It’s not like I have anything better to do, right?” A lie. What about your project due Monday? Nevermind.
“Catch this” she exclaimed, tossing a serene light blue stress ball directly at your face.
“Ow!” you whined, yet again. If only you knew what those whines did to her.
“Sorry bro, gotta finish this fucking question. She said, flexing her sore hand. “Fuck this fucking Prof, seriously” She mumbled, clearly annoyed, clearly frustrated. Ellie had this thing, well, if you could even call something that she only had specifically with you a “Thing” — where she had to call you by those stupid names. “Dude” “Bro” “Jeez man!” just to see you squirm. Youd flinch ever so slightly, a fleeting reaction that betrayed a hint of offense flickering in your eyes. Every time you couldn’t help but pout, couldn’t help but look a little bit hurt, it did something to her. It wasn’t because she liked hurting you, God knows she didn’t. It would give her a glimmer of hope, of light. Shed journal about it, too;
“I called her Bro again. She looked really sad. Why does she get sad? I’m so fucking stupid. It’s probably because no one else calls her fucking bro, I’m literally delusional. Also had expired fucking Pizza. Worst day ever. Shit. Not that bad because she smiled at batted her eyelashes. God Ellie you need therapy.” YOURE A DUMBASS!!!!”
Half an hour had elapsed, brimming with Ellie muttering to herself under her breath. lighting a blunt, burning the blunt, passing it to you, begging you to give it back after 3 seconds.
You were pretty sure you had gone through every single app on your phone five times already. Stalking rando’s on Instagram, watching ASMR tiktoks, talking shit with Dina in the groupchat. How much more of this boredom could you take? My god, you were humming a stupid melody to yourself.
“Griiiind boy you know I grind when I pull-“
“Shh”
Did Ellie just shush you?!
“Excuse me?” You said.
“I’m trying to concentrate. Also what the fuck is a Fartulum?” Ellie retorted, withdrawing slightly and punctuating her frustration with stomps on the floor. God, she was too fucking cute.
“Can I play on your phone?” You questioned innocently. One more opening and closing the same App and you’d have lost your damn mind. You could practically see the Candy Crush candies popping inside of your brain every time you closed your eyes.
“No” she answered bluntly.
“Why? you scared I’ll find your nudes? Not gonna look- Swear on my li-“
You could hear her eye rolling, somehow.
“I dont have fucking nudes” she affirmed with a touch of exasperation.
“Someone else’s?” you said quietly. Your tone almost exposed you. Almost.
“Psh… no” Ellie said in return, just as quiet. Her tone almost exposed her, too.
Wish I had yours. Shut it, Ellie.
“Then let me go on your phone” You whined, got off the bed and almost slipped on one of her belts that laid on the floor. So messy, so, so Ellie.
She cast a sidelong glance at you, her eyes darting from the corner of her vision. Her grip on the pen was incredibly tight. It happened every time you got near, got too close to her. Whether it was clutching the strings of her hoodie, her knuckles turning white with tension, or her toes curling in a clenched stance. Shed never ever admit it to herself, cool, calm & collected, but fuck did you make her nervous.
You settled yourself on the chair beside her, causing her to divert every ounce of her attention back to her assignment, shifting it solely onto you. You. You. You.
She gazed directly into your eyes, and a peculiar warmth flooded your face. Its funny how even after being friends for all this time, making eye contact with her managed to stir something within you. She asked you about it once, mid fight. “You never even look at me when we talk!” she huffed. “Yes I do!” no you dont. “No you don’t!” and when your lips quivered, turning you in, she left it at that.
Ellie scratched the back of her neck, her arms flexing subtly with the motion. You gave her that look, the look that made her cheeks go bright pink, her hands clam up. She bit her lip. “Fine”. You won, flashing her a toothy smile she couldn’t help but grin at.
And there you were, with Ellie’s iPhone 5C (Yeah, she never got that buying a new iPhone every 2 years phenomenon) laying on Ellie’s bed, in Ellie’s room.
“Ew - Ellie what the fuck? why is your screen greasy?!” You squirmed, fingertips grazing over her slightly sticky screen. Is that fucking chicken nuggets residue?
“Shut up, dude. You asked me for my phone so deal with the consequences”
Dude.
You rolled your eyes, proceeded to wipe the screen of her phone with the corner of her cozy flannel bedsheet. Her phone was really warm. One more month and it would probably set on fire.
“Password?” You questioned, and shifted to lay on your stomach, your cheek caressing the pillow. It had a little auburn colored hair laying on top of it.
Ellie huffed and waited a second before she responded, contemplating again. It’s harmless, fuck it.
“2222”
“Okay, seriously - you could get hacked with that dumbass password”
“Pffft” Ellie huffed. “I’d fucking beat them up if they tried robbing me” she said, ever the brave.
“I’m not… talking about robbers, Ellie. Like, hackers?”
“Same thing”
“You cant beat up hackers they’re- Nevermind” you sighed.
2222.
If the room was classic Ellie, god, so was her phone. Default Apple background, because she truly couldn’t be bothered. iMessage, Instagram with four pictures on her feed; One of her arm slightly flexing her tat (who the fuck was the bitch who commented “damn” under there?), one of a stray cat wearing her grey beanie, a meme that says “Fuck sex. Let’s do something romantic like play Fireboy and Watergirl on CoolMathGames.Com” (God, she thought she was so funny for that one. 6 Likes, one from you, one from Jesse, the fake Instagram account you and Dina created for Joel, her ex Cat, and one from Dina and a spam bot). Next to the Instagram laid the NASA app (of course), Call Of Duty for iPhone (Made her sleep for only fifteen minutes one night), calculator, 9GAG (People still use that?!), and… her gallery.
You pursed your lips, contemplating the situation. Should you?after all, Ellie said; No nudes. So what could possibly be on there?
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Of course.
You couldn't contain a soft giggle that escaped your lips, earning an inquisitive whine from Ellie. "What's so funny?" she grumbled, unable to resist her curiosity.
“Said you were studying, so study” You said, while scrolling through her gallery.
As you readjusted your position on the bed, you unintentionally swiped to the left, revealing her albums. Just harmless browsing, right?
“Screenshots”
“Funny memes”
“Pics to send Jesse when he’s being stupid”
“Dhhdjsjsou”
“Stink ❤️”
A picture of you, laying on the grass, a bright, toothy smile spread across your face. It was from your Instagram, the one you deleted because you thought you looked dumb. The one Ellie commented a for once unsarcastic “Woah” on.
The album was locked.
You felt your throat go dry, heartbeat speeding up. Your leg started shaking, and God, you hoped she would come and snatch the phone off of your hand.
But she didn’t. She just shifted in her sit, cleared her throat and resumed her studies.
You shouldn’t have. But you did.
2222
Unlocked. Success!
You felt like screaming at the top of your lungs. Was it even hotter in here now? Extra humid today? you bit your lip, it almost hurt.
A picture of you and Dina. A selfie you sent to the groupchat two weeks ago. Ellie doodled a green heart on it. You were sweating. A picture of you on Christmas last year. That same day you had your stupid fight on. You were wearing a Santa hat, mug of hot Coco and tiny white marshmallows in your hand.
Your stomach felt as if it were infested by a swarm of Ellie looking butterfly’s.
A picture of you sound asleep, in Ellie’s bed. She was mid-moving a hair strand away from your face. It was blurry. You recognized that top.
You were wasted that day. Blabbering uncontrollably about how you had to crash on her bed, because you were scared your new roommate would think you’re stupid, and dumb, and an idiot, for getting drunk at a frat party.
You couldn’t understand why Ellie didn’t want to help you. You almost kicked her when she said she couldn’t, that you’d be better off in your bed. “I snore. And I kick in my sleep - Seriously” You almost cried. You called her a bad friend, a fake one, because — isn’t that what friends are for? Shouldn’t they have your back when you’re a babbling mess? Hold your hair for you, put you to sleep, take care of you?
Ellie couldn’t sleep that night.
When you laid there, right on her bed, her face went so red and hot you could fry something on it. She almost hit herself in the face when her chest grazed your back. When your leg caressed her’s, and ended up on top of her thigh, she almost screamed. When you shifted to face her, an angelic, sound asleep expression on your face, she swore she almost died. The string of your top came off, revealing more of your shoulder, and the strap of your bra, Ellie turned around so fast she almost woke you up.
She slept for 20 minutes.
When she woke up, she had to make herself remember it. Remember you, laying with her.
So she took a picture. An innocent one.
You almost jumped when the pen fell slipped from her hand and she turned around to face you.
“What are you doing?”
Whats in her notes app?
part two
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number1jeonginstan · 7 months
Note
Sucking on Minhos fingers while he's got you in a headlock... Hehe
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A/N: THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD REQUEST!!! At first, I didn't know what to write, so that's why I took so long to fulfill it. I usually try and imagine scenarios in my head and then play them out in my writing, and it finally hit me while I was re-watching Chainsaw Man today. I really hope I did you justice and you enjoy it because I think this might be my favorite fic to write to this day!!!
WC: 2.7k (1.6 is literally smut...)
Minors don't interact, 18+
Pairing: Roomate!Lee Know x afab!reader
Warnings: Lee Know calls the reader a slut, cum eating, mirror sex (just a bit), head lock, protected sex (for the first time ever), idk what else?
It was a normal night between you and your roommate Minho, he would spend every Friday cooking for the both of you guys while you caught up on assignments. It was a good arrangement because you hated cooking, and it was his favorite pastime. In return, you would wash all the dishes and make dessert for the both of you. Baking had always been your favorite, and you loved trying new recipes with him, and he did the same when it came to new dishes. 
This week, he wanted to try out a sous vide steak. “Can you pass me the butter please?” Minho said across the kitchen. “Yeah of course!” you said, walking across the kitchen to pass it to him. “Thank you!” he replied back, basting the steak that he had searing on the stove with the butter you just passed him. 
You went back to sitting on the barstool, continuing to work on the assignment you had due for your Journalism class at midnight. As you continued to work, Minho continued to cook. He was making a side of vegetables but needed your opinion on whether or not they were seasoned enough. 
“I need you to taste this,” he said, holding up a fork in front of you. You were so immersed in your assignment that you just opened your mouth, waiting for him to put it in your mouth. He did so, and before you could notice how he stared at the fork leaving your mouth you said “I think it needs more salt, just a pinch, but it’s good.” 
He just coughed and nodded, turning away, not letting you see how his ears turned a bit red at the tips. “Yeah, let me add some more salt and then we can sit down and eat.” 
“That works for me!” you replied, finishing up the assignment at hand and submitting it. You close your laptop, pick up the plates, and place them on the table in the middle of your apartment. “What kind of wine do you want to drink tonight?” you asked him, looking in the fridge. “Red would go best with today’s steak,” he replied cutting up the steak into pieces on the cutting board. 
“Alright got it” 
As you took the first bite, you moaned to him how good it was. “I think this is your best recipe yet,” you told him while taking a bite of the vegetables. You didn’t realize that your little moan caused him to cough up a bit of his wine.   
To distract himself from what just happened, he told you how Jisung had accidentally spilled coffee all over himself at work and he laughed so hard that he spilled some on himself too. You told him about your week too, how classes were kicking your ass too. 
“Oh, and this dude in my literature class asked me for his number.” You took another bite of the steak. He was fuming a bit, but not wanting to show it he casually asked “Did you give it to him?” 
“I didn’t want to be impolite, plus he seemed nice so I did. He invited me to get dinner with him tomorrow.” You said while taking a sip of your wine. 
“Did you say yes?” he asked, annoyed you were giving your number out to total strangers. 
“I told him I would most likely be able to, but if something came up I would have to cancel and he said that was totally fine, why?” you replied, a bit confused as to why he was so interested. 
“Oh, I was just wondering, it’s been a while since you’ve been on a date.” 
“Yeah, I know, that’s why I wanted to go out. I’m tired of being stuck at home constantly.” Before he could interject, you quickly spoke up again. “Not that I’m tired of hanging out with you, I love spending time with you. I just want to look pretty for someone, get all dressed up,” pointing down at yourself, “not just in sweats all the time.” 
“That makes sense,” Minho scoffed, and you could hear a bit of undertone in his voice. 
You decided to ignore it, collecting both of your dishes as you finished them. “Do you wanna play the new episode of Chainsaw Man while I bring the flan?” you asked 
“You made flan again?” he asked while walking over to the couch. “Yeah, I knew how much you liked it last time, plus my friend gave me this recipe to perfect it.” 
“Oh, that’s nice, thanks for thinking about me.” he was already sitting down so you couldn’t see the grin that was plastered on his face. “Hey, don’t be so egotistical, I liked it too,” you said while bringing over two bowls of it. 
You guys sat in silence, eating the flan while the episode played in the background. Minho would occasionally look at you, watching your little reactions to what was playing on the screen in front of the both of you.
“Damn, I wish I was Denji,” you said loud enough for Minho to hear. It was a scene of Himeno putting him in a headlock. “You want to be choked?” Minho asked, not sure if he understood you correctly. 
“I mean, it seems weird, but also, I really want to try it,” you shrugged to Minho. 
“If you want to try it, I can put you in a headlock” he replied back with no hesitation. “I mean, I don’t think it will choke you or anything, but I am pretty strong so if you want to…” 
Before he could even finish his sentence, you quickly replied with a “Yes!” 
“I mean only if you are comfortable with it, if you don’t want to I mean we don’t have to” you rambled on. 
“I don’t mind as long as you are comfortable with it, just tap my arm if it’s too much.” He said, pausing the show and patting the spot next to him. You crawled to him, sitting on your knees right next to him. What you didn’t realize was how flushed Minho had become, he could feel his pants tighten a bit at the thought of him in his arms. 
“Can I sit in your lap you can do it from behind?” you asked innocently, your doe eyes looking up at him. He swore he groaned out loud, but he stopped himself, composing himself and just nodding. 
You climbed into his lap, your back facing his chest. You felt his arm wrap around your throat, your bicep slowly squeezing it. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay kitten?” and you just whimpered in response. This is the first time he’s ever called you that and you can feel yourself getting wet in his lap. 
You began to squirm, causing him to groan behind you. “Fuck, don’t start something you can’t finish.” 
“What if I want to start something?” you tilt your head up, trying to get a good look at your roommate's face. 
You had never realized how beautiful he was, you knew he was attractive. It was evident, he was one of the best-looking men you had ever met, but his beauty astonished you in that moment.
Before you could even say something, he flipped you around. “Fuck kitten, you don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do this. Seeing you in your tiny shorts and big t-shirts around the apartment. That one time you took my shirt and wore it around the house, I swear I was hard that entire day after seeing you.” 
You just giggled at him, “Oh baby, this is no laughing matter, maybe I should shut you up?” 
You just nodded up at him, as he slipped his fingers in your mouth. You began sucking on them, wrapping your tongue around both digits, wetting them with your saliva and he just groaned above you. “Fuck baby” he just groaned thinking about how well you would take his cock in your mouth. 
He slipped his digits out of your mouth, placing a kiss on your lips. One kiss became another and another, and then it turned into a heated make-out session. In the process, he had flipped you on top of him and you began grinding on his semi-hard cock. 
“Fuck baby you feel so good, but let’s get off the couch okay?” you just nodded at him, still feeling lightheaded from his mouth on yours. 
You both got up, him picking you up, tossing you onto his shoulder. Before you could protest, he began walking to his room. You began writhing on his shoulder, wanting to be put down. “Stop acting like a brat,” he said while smacking your ass. 
“Minho!” you shouted, eliciting a chuckle from him. “If you act good, I’ll take care of you, but if you act like a brat, I won’t let you cum.” You quickly shut up, allowing him to throw you on the bed. He hovered above you, placing kisses on your neck, and moving down to your thighs. 
He took off your sweatpants, leaving you only in your oversized shirt and panties. He began to lift your shirt only to see you not wearing a bra. “Had these out just for me, and I had no clue? What else are you hiding from me, baby?” He asked, sucking on one of your nipples causing you to moan. “You just wanted to act like a slut, hoping we did this, is that why?” 
“Yes Minho, just wanted you” you moaned again as he moved onto the other breast. He just groaned, you were good to him, too good. He moved down, kissing your stomach and then your thighs. You rubbed them together, wanting some sort of friction.  
“No, keep these open for me kitten, I want to see your sweet little cunt.” He said while pulling down your panties. “Fuck baby, this pussy is so wet, tell me who’s doing this to you.” 
“You are Minho, only you can do this to me.” you moaned as he liked a stripe against your pussy. His lips catch your clit, sucking on it causing your legs to shut. “Kitten, what did I just say?” 
“To keep my legs open for you.” You were hiding your face behind your hands, a bit ashamed of how wet you were for him, how much he turned you on. “So, let’s keep them open okay? You can be a good girl and do that for me can’t you?” 
You just nodded, opening your legs again. “Fuck, you taste better than any dessert you’ve ever made me.” He said while licking your pussy another time. “You are going to let me eat you for dessert whenever I need it aren’t you?” 
“Yes Minho, I’ll let you do anything to me” you moaned as he started putting his veiny fingers inside of you. He began fucking his fingers inside at a quick pace, still sucking on your clit and all you could do was moan. 
He hadn’t even put his cock in you and you could already feel yourself cumming. “Please Minho, too much, I’m gonna cum.”
“Then be a good kitten and cum on my fingers, then I’ll make you cum on my cock. You can take more than one round, can’t you baby?” 
“Yes, can be a good girl for Minho, please can I cum, please sir let me cum” you moaned as his fingers hit that particular spot in you causing you to go over the edge, your entire body shaking as you came over the edge, cumming on his fingers. 
“Minho, need your cock, please need it inside of me.” you pleaded and he was in awe. You had just cum, but you were still begging for his cock. He was going to have fun with you. 
“You just came and already need my cock? How much of a needy slut are you? You just want your hole filled at all times?” He scoffed at you. He was still fully dressed as you were fully naked underneath him. You pawed at his shirt and he just laughed. He took it off, along with his sweats. 
You could see how hard his dick was through his boxers, your eyes widening a bit, trying to hide your reaction by covering. He chuckled at your reaction, releasing his fat cock from his boxers, taking a condom out of his drawer, and tearing the foil with his mouth. 
“Yes, just a slut for you sir, I need you, need you in me.” You spread your cunt apart with your fingers, trying to show him where you needed him most and he just groaned. 
He slowly pushed his tip inside of you, knowing how eager you were. He was also eager, his dick hard as soon as you moaned his name the first time. “Fuck baby, this pussy is so tight, don’t know why I didn’t fuck it beforehand.”
He slowly pushed his dick inside of you, your cunt squeezing it tight, making it hard for him to fully still inside of you. “Baby I need you to relax so you can take my cock. You can be a good kitten for me and do that right?” 
You simply nodded, taking his fingers into your mouth once again, wrapping your lips around his digits, causing him to groan as he finally entered you fully. “Fuck baby, you feel even better than you taste.” You simply moaned, feeling so full as he was fully inside of you. 
“So good Minho, feel so full” you moaned, feeling so full of him you couldn’t help but clench around him. “Please move, I need you” You looked up at him, his fingers going back into your mouth and he couldn’t control himself. He began thrusting into you, causing you to moan around his fingers. 
“Fuck this pussy is so tight, gonna fuck you all around the apartment from now on. This pussy is mine and mine only, you got it?” You just nodded as he began thrusting into you faster. 
You were on the verge of cumming, but Minho pulled out before you could. Before you could protest, he flipped you around, your ass up and face at the end of his bed looking straight at the mirror in front of you. “I want you to see how pretty you look on my cock, how my cock is making you dumb, how good it is making you feel.” 
You felt yourself going dumb, the only thing on your mind was Minho and his cock. “Minho, fuck it feels so good.” you moaned, feeling him hit that spot inside of you. “Yeah, kitten? Look at who’s making you cum, look at who’s making you dumb on their cock.” 
“You are, you are making me feel this good” you moaned as his thrusts got harder. With one more thrust, you were cumming on his cock. 
“Fuck, this pussy is to die for” he groaned, continuing to thrust into you trying to get to his own high. After a few more thrusts, he could feel himself getting ready to cum. “Where do you want me baby?” 
“In my mouth,” you said with no hesitation. You wanted to taste him like he tasted out. “Fuck kitten, you are going to be the death of me” he took off the condom, wrapping his hand around his cock. With a tug of his cock, he came into your mouth. You swallowed all of it, showing him and he kissed your lips. 
You both fell back on his bed, him wrapping his arms around you as he covered you both with his blanket. Both of your clothes still splayed on the floor of his room. “That was… unexpected,” you said. 
“A good unexpected or bad?” he asked a bit scared of your response. “Definitely good,” you said while kissing his lips. He grinned, “You better cancel that date tomorrow because I’m the one taking you out tomorrow.” You just hummed, playing with his hair. 
Minho didn’t need to know that no one had actually asked for your number, you were just trying to make him make the first move. 
taglist: @sclassstay @minhosify
(my perm taglist is open, also sorry for forgetting to add my tag list, it just slipped my mind, so sorry)
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peachylipglosss · 10 months
Text
my guide to wonyoungism, improve your life, glow up, be THAT girl:
🎀 have a routine: this is something I learned from being on therapy for so long. It is really important to have a routine because if not you can have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get bored easier, you won't be able to finish your responsabilities, it can bring you bad self esteem and in general is a complete mess.
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🎀 work out: always do what's best for you and do what you feel comfortable doing but please! work! out! I'm such a lazy person and at some point it was really hard for me to have motivation to do anything, but once I put my mind into it, and force myself a bit and started with 10 mins of pilates everyday (since it was something easy to start with) my life and my self esteem improved a lot. Working out is another way to have schedules and a routine, also improves your self esteem by making you feel capable of doing stuff, and ofc is good for your body.
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🎀 have a good skincare routine: first, do some research about your skin type and see what products can work better for you (you can also go to have a skincare treatment and ask the beautician or search on internet) but always do what's more comfortable and affordable for you, don't use stuff that influencers recommend bc you can alter you skin type based on the products you use too (as a beutician I know) Also don't DON'T do it everyday, some products can be used everyday like the cleanser but others not. As I said just do a good research. Besides skin stuff it's really interesting!!
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🎀 improve your diet: with diet I don't mean to specifically have a diet, actually I'm a bit against them, since being strict about what we eat can cause stress and guiltiness, it's really important to have a balance, eating healthy at the end of the day means nothing if you don't enjoy it. And you can enjoy it by having fun creating new healthy recipes, doing a journal about your fav healthy recipes, buying new cookware (pink plates, pots, pans, etc) or eating a hamburguer, a chocolate cookie sometime
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🎀 journal: this is something I do since 2014 lol it's without doubt one of the best things the human has created. It has helped me to improve my writing skills, to get to know me better, to vent about stuff idk how or whom to talk about, also make it fun! In my journal I vent and write about my feelings,fears, dreams, goals, etc but also write down my travels, concerts or fav kpop artists, decorate with stickers, a piece of confetti, even dried flowers!
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🎀 hobbies: this is something I also learned recently on therapy, I mean we all had hobbies from time to time but do we know about the importance of having them? I spent this whole year doing nothing since I can't work or study, and without hobbies I can tell you life is too boring, and it can lead you to bad self esteem too I mean, I kinda got crazier for spending so much time alone with literally nothing to do. So find new and fun stuff to do just for the pleasure of doing it, you don't have to be the best at it. I bet you can find hobbies ideas on YouTube as well.
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🎀 be more femenine: this is ofc an optional step but I think it can be important, since always either wonyoung or it girls usually look very femenine. Don't forget to make it a fun thing to do! Finding your aesthetic, maybe trying a new one, enjoy going shopping..you can be femenine with your clothing, with your skin care routine, with your jewlery...this is just about feeling beautiful and also powerful.
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🎀 improve your behaviour towards other people: with this I mean basically being more open. To meet new people, to make new plans...also fixing your body gesture (at least mine is shit and It always end up hurting my back and shoulders)
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🎀 affirmations: good affirmations are a thing, this I learned in therapy too. The way you talk to yourself is important and changing the mindset too. If you tell yourself "I won't be able" then for sure you won't. This is not an easy thing tho I know, but is a necessary thing. Forcing yourself to change your mind every time a negative thought pass by is a hardwork but is well payd, cause the price is your happiness. For this is VERY important to have some help and work things up in therapy. But to give you a little tip, surround yourself with good energy, put some pictures of good affirmations in your room, as background of your phone, even on a shirt!
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🎀 enjoy and trust the process: as I kept saying in each step, making it something fun to do it would help you to don't feel it like an obligation cause it's not. It's ofc a responsability to improve your life so you don't fall in depressed behaviours for example, but by making it something fun, then you won't feel guilty if someday you don't feel like functioning and need a lazy day in bed. And by trusting the process, we keep motivated to keep going.
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🌼hope this works for you, please let me know if so, have a great day and a great life! 🌼
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dadsbongos · 4 months
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CAN U PLSSSS WRITE A CUTE DENJI FIC OR HEADCANON/DRABBLE?? honestly idrc care which it is (obvi longer is preferred but i understand and am open to whatevs u give)
like about reader (fem) has a journal and in it she wrote about her dream dude, but like perfectly described denji and accidentally left it out and while they were hanging out or something cuz they besties he sees it and realized like "dude, that's me!" or something and then like a fluffy confession or something IDK that's just what i have sprinting through my brain rn 🤓
also maybe a lil kiss 🙏
thank you for giving me a denji idea... been fiending to write for him and just had 0 ideas
word count - 1.5 K / warnings - fem reader, not proofread!!, au where makima dies and denji just gets to be happy with special division 4 and they are familycore
~~~
“And the point of this is…?”
“I dunno,” Himeno answers honestly, shrugging, “I read somewhere that you can tell a lot about someone from their partner.”
“None of us are dating,” Aki huffs, fingers itching over the protrusion of his lighter in his pocket.
“Their preference in a partner,” Himeno groans in annoyance, gesturing out to the collection of papers in front of each of you, “Besides, what else do we have to do right now?”
Fair question, no matter how junky the science behind Himeno's apparent reading, not one of you had anything better to do. A storm was raging outside the Hayakawa apartment, all of Special Division Four having pooled there before the clouds even rolled in. Before Kobeni could shyly crawl out from the rambunctious crowd, there was lightning and thunder and an ear-piercing flood warning blasting on the television. 
So, Aki swallows the rest of his complaints and puts his head down with the rest of your division. His pencil sprawling over the paper Himeno slammed in front of him to describe his ideal significant other. A tedious task he's all too eager to bullshit through as soon as Himeno is finished staring down at him.
Denji is tapping the eraser of his pencil against the kitchen island, eyes straying around the living room. He worried his bottom lip between knifepoint teeth; only stopping when he tastes iron. Even Power has started writing.
Even you have begun writing. He wonders what you're writing. He wishes he could stretch his neck and take a peek without being obvious. He wishes he could read it at all.
Denji draws a stick figure that takes up a quarter of the page, dragging the lead back over the chest to add breasts. He glances at you through the side of his eye before adding hair and a small smile. And the black hair tie snug around your wrist even though he's only ever seen you lend it to Kobeni and Angel. Now he really can't avoid it: Denji has no idea how to write. 
Hopefully he can just coast with a bland drawing and let everybody think he's as shallow as they probably already believe. But when he lifts his head to glimpse at everyone else's pages, Himeno is already freezing him solid with her icy glare. Denji tucks his chin to his chest and subtly twists in the island stool to look at your paper again. 
Bullet points go five lines down the page; and the only thing he can make out is one of the few characters Aki’s taught Denji at his request:
愚か. Stupid.
Denji's eyes bounce back up to your face, eyes a little gooey and smile all soft. He knows that goofy look well, it's how he finds himself everytime he thinks about you. Before he can lose himself in that, he's jealous. You're making that lovestruck face over some stupid guy that Denji can't even write a strongly worded letter to. 
Denji writes one of the other few things Aki has taught him. Your name with a bold arrow pointing down at the stick figure. 
Then he erases it. He scrubs the pink bud over your name so hard he tears the paper in half. A loud shirrr dragging every eye to his hunched form, shoulders hiking higher over his face at the increased attention.
“Hark! The fool cannot even spell!” Power cackles, “Show me his words! Show me his mistake!”
“Power,” you chide, as though she's a fitful toddler and not a horrific Fiend, “Be nice. You can't write either.”
“Liar!” she points at you with a shaking finger.
Kobeni shyly taps Power on the shoulder before pointing at the paper overflowing with Power's manic ideals of a partner, “Anything else…?”
“Honesty!” she glares at you sharply, “And unwavering devotion!”
“Right…” Kobeni mutters unsurely, neglecting her own paper as she continues to scribble on Power's.
“Ignore her,” you scoot your stool closer to Denji and he manages to flip his page over before you can see the drawing, “Do you need help?”
He’s nodding before his mouth can even pop open, eventually he manages to sputter alongside it, “Yeah, yeah!” taking full advantage of his new opportunity to squish right against you at the island, “Can you write…”
Patiently, you await his request and he can feel his heart pumping in his throat every time you bat your lashes at him all sweetly. Your pen leaves jet black dots as it dips in your weak grasp, Denji has lots of words to describe you and all of them knot together on the tip of his tongue, tangled and lashing to fall from his lips at once.
Ultimately, he settles for the least descriptive, “Nice.”
“Someone nice,” you nod and scratch that onto his paper, “I like that.”
Denji feels his whole body go junky with sparks of electricity, blood boiling hot at how you feel comfortable enough to drag your paper into his full view. You point at your top bullet point, nail tacking loudly into the surface when his eyes don’t immediately stray from your face to the words below. Your bottom lip is sucked between your teeth as you study his reaction, leaning your face even closer to his.
Though you’re blurry and jumbled in his peripherals, Denji can still make out the upturn of your lips. He looks over the rest of the page, desperately searching for any other words he can make out and mold himself to. That, or cope and make up some ways in which he’s at least comparable to your dream man.
He can make out: Pretty.
Do you think Denji is pretty?
He sees another one he recognizes: 歯 -- teeth -- but there’s two characters before that he’s useless against. 
Denji has teeth.
“Sharp,” you whisper into his ear, tingles raising along his pale flesh.
“Huh…?” Denji turns to look at you, heat rising far up to his ears.
An airy, almost delirious, giggle floats into his ears as you circle the two mysteries before teeth, “Sharp,” then you circle teeth, “Teeth. Sharp teeth.”
“You like guys with sharp teeth?”
“Love ‘em.”
Denji swallows harshly, shakily pointing to the next bullet point, “What’s that mean?”
農民を尊重する.
You press ever closer towards Denji, leaning your chin on his shoulder, “‘Respects farmers.’”
“I respect farmers…” he mutters dumbly, “I love their work.”
“I know you do.”
Denji blinks down at you, his thick lashes beating on his rosying cheeks and spiky teeth punching back into his lip. His breaths are short and hard, red overtaking his cheeks like a flustered little Kewpie doll. So precious and sweet, ready to crack beneath your palms. He’d trust you wholly, and you know you’d treat him well. He knows, too. You’re nice.
You laugh at his stunned face, posture rigid. The sudden shock making his shoulder jab up into your jaw uncomfortably -- you find it terribly charming. 
“I like girls…” Denji sighs out in a tremble, eyes trailing down your face, “I like girls with soft lips.”
“Do you?” you inch closer, by now long forgetting the presence of your friends and colleagues in the apartment. Teasing is fun, but teasing Denji is just the best.
“Mhm.”
.
.
.
After an awkward pause, Denji follows the quiet hum with,
“Can I… kiss you?”
You nod against his shoulder, chin digging down into the bone. Denji stretches his neck to kiss you -- and your lips are even softer and more sugary than he imagined. His hands scratch out to cradle you to himself, continuously parched no matter how much of you he has to drink in. Warm hands and arms around you, clinging and wrapping and pulling. Wincing from the prickle of Denji’s teeth against your lip, you cinch a hand around the chest of his shirt and wrench it towards you -- pulling Denji closer along with it. 
“You like me?” he utters against your lips.
Pulling back, you flip around your paper and sear your index nail around a very recognizable word, “My ideal partner. I was a little scared to share at first…”
Denji almost jumps right off the stool, ready to coop you in his arms and swing you around fully in front of his roommates and coworkers. Instead he laughs in full disbelief to himself, reaching down to squeeze your other hand in both of his. You’re briefly concerned he’s cutting off blood flow before the joy of his pure excitement overtakes that concern. 
DENJI is big and plain over the very top of the page. 
“What changed your mind?”
You snicker right into his ear and reach out to flip over Denji’s paper, torn at the top, “I could tell you felt the same, pretty boy.”
Denji squeezes your hand even tighter, giggling almost feverishly before he’s sliding off the stool, “Wanna go make out in my room?”
“Thanks for having the decency to move now,” an unpleasant sneer breaks Denji’s cloudy dream-turned-reality.
“Fuck you,” Denji hisses at Aki.
“I think it’s cute!” Himeno pushes at the back of Aki’s head, “Focus on yourself!”
You let Denji drag you from the kitchen island and towards his (and Power’s, not that she’ll be allowed in for the next however many hours) room. 
“So, you really think ‘m pretty?” Denji’s voice teeters just on the edge of snarky, but his skittish, red frame speaks louder.
“Prettiest,” you coo, kissing his cheek.
The affection has him seconds away from blurting out an awkward, ill-timed: You’re really my dream girl.
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honeytonedhottie · 1 month
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HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE april edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🎀
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welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the april catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. this particular addition's collaborator is @pinkpigtailsprincess and its an HONOR. so pls look forward to the magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.
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SUMMER WARDROBE PREP ;
as we've talked about in this post right here, summer is right around the corner and we need to make the fashion count. april fashion is all about the transition from spring -> summer and in doing so gracefully there MUST be preparation.
for any season i think that camisoles r amazing because in the colder seasons like autumn or winter, u can wear camisoles underneath zip up jackets. in the summer and spring time u can wear camisoles as they are and they're so cute either way.
the key to camisoles is the length and the color and for the spring to summer transition, i advise u to steer clear of darker colors or thicker textures and go for more light/flowy, colorful pieces.
FOR THE BLOG ;
i haven't been very active on my blog (or at least thats how i feel) as much as i usually am and thats because school has been kicking my ass. now that the school year is wrapping up i have something that i'd like to introduce to the blog.
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MY MASTER CLASS - i wanted to formulate a class that rly went in depth about manifestation so i decided to make a google class in which i hopefully simplified manifestation. just like in my blog, except in the class i formulate challenges, assignments etc.
the post where i go more in depth about the master class is coming out on wednesday (may first) so i hope that u guys look forward to and take advantage of this new resource 🍭🎀
FOR THE WELLNESS GIRLIES ;
if theres one thing that i tried to keep central this month was my health, so there r two things in particular that i honed in on and they are mindfulness and stress management.
MINDFULNESS - i wanted to focus on being more present in my emotions and just focus on the now more than anything. just kind of putting things into perspective. i've had time to ponder a lot of things and kind of tackle the big questions that i like to avoid and once u sort that out it feels like a weight has been lifted off ur shoulders.
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STRESS MANAGEMENT - idk whats going on but my emotions have been all over the place and i've been feeling particularly stressed and overwhelmed so what i've been doing to manage that is mindful breathing and affirming affirmations that remind me that im safe, im fine etc.
and later on once im in a clearer headspace i'll journal thru my emotions and kind of sort them out that way im not harboring anything negative yk? and thats usually what helps me.
DOLLY'S SECTION, @pinkpigtailsprincess "SOME OF MY FAVS AND WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THEM
Some of my fav it girls What we can learn from them!!🎀 
The Boss
Whitney Gilbert + Rihanna + Lil Kim
The Smart Sweethearts
Jang Wonyoung + Elle woods
The Glitzy Dolls
Kimora Lee Simmons + London Tipton
| 𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ The Smart Sweetheart !! 🎀
...📧 : Wonyoung & Elle are absolutely perfect for self expression and not letting other peoples opinions get too you both of them are unapologetically Super Feminine & Sweet even people
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talk down about them, they always rise up and prove them wrong no matter how much people talk all while sporting their extremely feminine personality and fashion taste no matter how much they get stereotyped as a “dumb blonde” “pick me” or “air head” they know themselves
and thats all thats matter to them!! 🎀 Now all three of these women are incredibly smart thats have achieved major academic
success let’s look at what we can individually learn from them!!
🎀 ; Jang Wonyoung The Successful K-Popstar thats has gotten global success who has the perfect princess beauty
has inspired an ongoing lifestyle trend by the Name of “Wonyoungism” a trend inspired by the beautiful fans of Jang Wonyoung where her fanbase practices and promotes Taking care of them selves and being the best version of them selves and taking inspiration from won young to
⁃  workout
⁃  eat healthy meals
⁃  take care of their skin
⁃  practice good habits
⁃  attaining their goals
⁃  ambition & hard work
⁃  being nice & inspiring others to also joij in on becoming the best version of themselves and have an unbreakable mentally inspired by her famous quote “No Problem I don’t care you’re you i’m me!” and taking after won-young in having a high self concept and hard work no matter what!! and never letting opinions get too you even when she was getting dragged on the internet she gave them more reasons to hate on her even though they know nothing about her
Sources say The Chic Princess is also incredibly smart with some extremely impressive academic achievements including
⁃  took GED & got a perfect score in Korean,english & math
⁃  Won a Science Fair
⁃  Won Match Contest
⁃  Was her Class president 3 years in a row
⁃  willing joined sports
⁃  always putting time into her studies and ever wanted to be a news anchor +lawyer!!
no speaking of Lawyers...We must talk sbout the most fashionable lawyer out there..🎀 ; Elle Woods!!The Peppy Blonde Barbie From Bel-Air is Undeniably one of the most loved it girl characters out there!! she inspires many girls & women to do their absolute best in academics and maintain their authenticity and being charismatic and kind to those around her even with people who don’t like her!!, She’s literally the Pioneer of femininity in the work force bringing her girly & hyperfeminine personality + style while also studying law and becoming a lawyer
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...but it’s not always glitz and glamour for Elleseeing as early on in the movie no one seems to genuinely taker her seriously and judging her too quickly because of her girly style,chipper personality & being a classic sorority queen but as elle and had more and more people on her back about her “being a ditz” “not being smart enough” she makes her own one women revolution on a quest to prove them all wrong! and when doing this she still doesn’t stray away from her bubbly personality and trendy style and with doing this proving thats girls can be girly and hyperfem and still be smart and pursue a career but even with doing this she can’t seem to shake the image of the stereotypical “Dumb Blonde” as we see in the movie when her professor seems to only hire ell because she’s pretty and not because of her academic success.
now obviously this makes elle spiral and think shes not good enough to where she ends up giving up becoming a lawyer because she feels as though because shes the stereotypical blonde rich girl from bel-air that she can’t be anything but a pretty face but still after the fact elle picks herself back up in one of the final scene of the MovieShowing up to the courtroom sport her ICONIC Pink dress and Bedazzled Pink Pumps and using her knowledge in fashion,beauty and cosmetics to ultimately win her case even withhaving the hard ship of not taken seriously!! 🎀
these two of literally in my top 3 favorites theyre just perfect and amazing and no matter what they do people are always talking about them no matter what rather good or bad they are truly it girls now What can we learn from these two dazzling women...
⁃  Hard work pays off
⁃  You can have beauty and brains
⁃  Never Dumb yourself down too be someone everyone else wants you to be
⁃  Always work hard no matter the circumstances
⁃  Take care of yourself
⁃  People opinions on you don’t Matter because at the end of the day you onlyhave to prove yourself to yourself
⁃ You’re So weird, Never change that!
| 𝜗𝜚݁ ˖ The Glitzy Divas !! 🎀
🛍 : The Glitzy Diva Type is my FAVORITE!! Im literally Obsessed with Kimora and Sharpay They Inspire me so much and theyre like soo iconic so ofc we have to start of with Mother Herself Mrs.
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Kimora Lee Simmons 🛍 : The Mother of Baby Phat How made her breakthrough in the modeling industry at only 15 And Being Signed with Chanel She is Known for Her Love of
Fashion Glitz and Glamour The Fashion Maven coining her brand Baby Phat in 1999 rose to fame without question i mean her clothes are literally so iconic you name she has it !!
⁃  phone cases
⁃  jackets
⁃  jeans
⁃  Body Suits
⁃  Denim Jackets
⁃  Boots
⁃  Hats
⁃  Tank Tops
⁃  Buffer Coats
⁃  Lip Gloss
⁃  PerfumeSHE HAD IT ALL!!
Because she is literally just FABULOUS she has always had this love for the glitz and the glamour and always hold her self too a high standard if she wanted it she would get it and thats just the way its gonna be!!! she had a habit of running up Phone Bills,Credit Card etc. truly princess activities now what can we learn from this ICON!I can do everything by myself, the only person I have to look out for is myself - Kimora Lee SimmonsPersonally
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i think she is trying to say she is only supposed to be validated within her self and Only Her Opinion Matter No Matter What and its so true because at the end of the day you know you best and all you’ll is yourself!All the hard work in the world won't get you anywhere if you don't powerfully project your personality and style. How are you going to differentiate yourself from them? - Kimora Lee Simmons
BE YOURSELF!! literally being your own authentic self is literally the ultimate it girl secret and you can literally see for yourself not all it girl are one in the same they are authentically their own and that makes them all special!!People want to throw things at you and make you fall off because you're at a certain enviable height. - Kimora Lee Simmons. Like honestly she such a philosopher and i don’t care like this is so true with all it girls people are always talking about them no matter what because they feel a certain sense of jealousy
towards them for no reason when these women are literally like the best people LOVE to hate on it girl so much they end of loving them They Love to Hate them and Hate 2 Love Them!! 🎀
Now lwts talk about another favorite of mine the FABULOUS ...
⭐ : Sharpay Evans !!
The one and Only Sharpay Evans The Queen Bee that everyone tried to tear down but if were being honest she will NEVER Fall She hold her self to princess standard with her fabulous self concept
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“Everything Has to be Perfect for me” Fabulous by Sharpay Evans
Having Everyone always hating in her never stopped her still always being the school Queen Bee She is constantly talked about bye everyone!! i mean yeah she is quite snobby but she is still CRAZY AMBITIOUS. and shes willing to do any and everything to make sure she gets her way Shes The Princess and that will never change
No matter what people say about her own personal style she doesn’t care only her opinion matters Because she’s FABULOUS everything around her HAS to be Fabulous as well
⁃  Wardrobe
⁃  Hair
⁃  LockerEverything
She Believes that she is better than her peers and tbh.. She kinda Is i mean Their Vocals and performance were mediocre compared to SharpayShe stands about too much i mean her fabulousness was too much for them to handle shes
Her Iconess is
Stylish Pretty Iconic Talented Ambitious and Hardworking too much for them they can’t tell can’t HANDLE IT!!
Now what can we learn from these two FABULOUS ICONS
⁃  Only Your Opinion Matters
⁃  Always Put Yourself First
⁃  Keep Working Hard for what you want
⁃  If Something isn’t up to your standards don’t settle for less
⁃  No Matter how much people talk and knock you down you’re still gonna be above their Judgement!!
⁃ Only Conform too your own standard
CELEBS ;
i wanna start off this section strong and talk about jojo siwa's new release "karma". i've linked the music video there so u can watch it and feel free to share ur opinions in the comment section but shes been receiving lots of mixed reviews from netizens.
most of the backlash comes from interviews that shes done like when she said that she was the first person in her generation to have this major of a rebrand. a huge shift in all this drama tho was when people found out that she did NOT in fact write the song like she claimed she did, which does NOT look good for her
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she bought the song from brit smith and its like, WORD FOR WORD. and people feel some kind of way bcuz jojo could've just straight up been honest and say that she bought the song, which a lot of artists in the music industry do and theres nothing inherently wrong with it.
but the problem is that she tried to make it seem like she wrote it and even goes as far as to claim that she did in fact write it. and now that its shown that she bought it from brit smith, it kinda just blew up in her face.
PREP FOR NEXT YEAR ;
as we know the 2023-2024 school year is coming to an end very soon and if ur anything like me, ur feeling FATIGUED. and rightfully so of course, school can be super taxing sometimes.
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this is ur sign though to take a BREAK, spend a day just for you and for rejuvenation bcuz to keep going u need to have strength. school is almost done U GOT THIS. what helps me is to count down the days until school lets out so that i can be excited 🍹✨
now is the time tho to plan out what courses ur gonna take next year, wrap up whatever u need to for this school year so that u can walk into the next school year ready to dominate. make plans for the summer and hype urself up to have an amazing time!
thats all for this months catalog, there will be a new edition each month with new content and it'll be updated on a monthly basis so if thats something that interests you or if you like these kinds of posts stay tuned for the next, till next month girlies✨
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flowerflowerflo · 3 months
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good morning! 𐙚๋࣭⭑⋅˚♡.
𓏲. i dont think people quite understand the importance of having a good morning routine. how we spend our morning sets the tone for the day and its a very important, peaceful, underrated & overlooked part of life i think we should appreciate more !!💕
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 the importance of a good morning
gives a sense of control
sets the mood for the day
develops healthy habits
boosts productivity and energy levels
helps to manage work & schedules
improves memory and focus
...anddd much much more. i love love love mornings so maybe i'm a liittle biased but they're so overhated & have so many positive benefits we should def make use of!
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. gratitude
idk if its just me but waking up early and prioritising my mornings makes me a lot a lot more grateful for everything i have in my life. appreciate just how lucky we are to be able to even have a bed to wake up in in the morning. be so grateful for being able to see the sunlight through your window and being able to see another day. its a luxury, privilege and blessing to be alive.
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. dress up!
getting ready is always my FAVOURITE part of the morning. "but im not going anywhere" "im just going to school" "theres no point" no. idc. why do you have to have a reason? why cant you just do it for yourself? when i look cute i feel cute & when i feel cute i feel good. dress up do ur hair do ur makeup (if u wear it) ! look good -> feel good. 💖
(and if u wear school uniform, im making a post with info on how to still look cute w/ uniform soon!<3🩷💕)
🐧𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. time management
set the perfect time for you. that revolves around the time it takes you to get ready, to travel to your destination, etc. and set that back by 30 minutes. so for example say said time would be 7am -> you'd then change that to 6:30. that way youve got the extra time to just focus on yourself and sort out your day, choose what youre wearing, eat a lovely breakfast, drink something yummy, exercise, pilates, tidy up, etc. ♡
🩰𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. romanticism & enjoyment
id say this goes hand in hand with time management but make it so that you aren't rushing and stressing in the morning. enjoying the little things makes life as a whole so much more enjoyable. mornings often set the tone for the day, so if you have a calm and gentle morning, youre more likely to have a good day! ♡
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. clear mind
the third sibling of time management & romanticism is definitely being able to go into the day with a clear head. dumping down all your emotions in a journal, in your notes, whatever you use & having your day clearly planned out is a massive motivator for me. i use notion since im more of a visual learner and enjoy having things laid out pretty and neat in front of me but it can be anything you like! (notes, paper, journal, etc.) this ensures you go into the day without a ton of thoughts and worries weighing on your head already before you even start.
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so maybe im a little biased because i really love mornings but think about it. feeling the sun through your window in the early dawn, watching it rise and listening to the birds, having some downtime to clear your mind and just be free for a little while before chaos of life begins again. i love you and wish you the best in all you do today 🫶🩷💕
all my love 🫶🩷🎀
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365 notes · View notes
the-boy-meets-evil · 9 months
Text
with the band | ksy
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pairing: drummer!soonyoung x journalist!f!reader genre: 70s!au, band!au, fluff, smut, tiny bit of angstsummary: you’re fresh out of college with big dreams about changing the world with your words on a page. The last thing you expect is to end up covering a tour and you certainly don’t expect to fight falling for the drummer. rating: explicit, minors dni word count: ~8.2k (i literally don't know, don't @ me, it was supposed to be short) warnings: brief mention of drinking, brief mention of assumed infidelity (not actual), reader mentions difficulties of male dominated profession and being a woman, 1 mention of drinking, explicit smut: kissing, fingering, unprotected sex (don't do this), multiple orgasms, oral sex (f. receiving), briefest handjob/blowjob, reader is a little obsessed with hoshi's arms, hoshi picks reader up 1 time, idk i think that's it
a/n: this is for @svthub's 70s;teen collab and i'm so thankful that i got to take part in it. make sure you check out all the other amazing fics here! also a massive thank you to my bby indi @classicscreations for another last minute banner with minimal info from me. ily. (this is unbeta'd because i finished it late sorry!)
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When you went to school, you had all these big dreams. It’s easier for women to get an education now, universities that had been single sex are going co-ed, and women are allowed to have ideas. You feel excited about your future. You’re going to change the world. At least, that’s what you think.
Before you know it, graduation is around the corner and it’s time to try to find a job with your journalism degree. While you’ve become a standout contributor at your school paper, this is entirely different. Your big dreams start to feel a little deflated. Sure, you can get a job at a big newspaper, like you’ve always wanted, you just have to be fine with being the assistant to someone else. Getting their coffee and lunch orders, handling their schedule, fetching dry cleaning. And it’s not that you mind paying your dues, you don’t. You know that you’re going to have to work your ass off just to get that chance. But you’re not sure you can take the chance of getting boxed into being someone’s assistant. Close enough to get a hint of the story while never actually writing it yourself.
As you’re about to take one of the positions you’re so opposed to, you happen to get to know someone from the infamous Rolling Stone magazine. It’s not really your style, the whole sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll scene. You don’t feel like you know more than the average person when it comes to music. Music is great, you like it, and you’ve covered the occasional show for your school paper. It’s just not where you feel comfortable. However, as your new contact points out, they’re more than music. They’re culture and politics and just the heartbeat of the country. So, okay, why not take a shot? The worst that happens is they say no and you still have the papers to fall back on.
You don’t need to fall back. They like your writing at Rolling Stone, like your perspective. They like your honesty most of all, that sticks out. Someone tells you that they can tell exactly what you think about something and it’s exactly what they’re looking for. Maybe later, you’ll look back and wonder if this was really the right fit. If you knew what you were getting into. All you can do when you get the offer is say yes. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, you tell yourself, to actually get to say something right away. Who cares what you’re talking about? If there’s one thing you know how to do, it’s form an opinion. 
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Several months into the job, you actually like it a lot more than you expected you would. Yeah, there’s a lot of partying, a lot of drinking, a lot of other things you’re not going to mention. But, the world is changing and you want to be there for it. 
As much as you initially expected to join Rolling Stone for the culture and political pieces, you’ve written just as many pieces about music. There’s a human element to it that draws you in, a commentary on the artists and what they’re trying to say. You don’t think twice when your boss assigns you to cover a show in the area. A big group is headlining, something you know will draw everyone out, but your boss wants you to pay attention to the other acts. Find out if there’s a story.
You’re somewhere in an open staff room before the show, taking time to catch up with people you know through work, through other shows, just from being around the area. It’s there that you hear the commotion outside the room. It sounds like a group of girls reacting to someone, probably one of the musicians. Seconds later, the musician in question opens the door, smiling softly over his shoulder and calling out a string of thank yous before heading around the corner.
It’s familiar with the shows you’ve covered. He’s hiding out from the fans that hang around and try to get closer to them. Some of them are familiar with the staff, both for the groups and the venues, though, and they come and go as they please. He seems to realize this and rushes over to your table, sits down in an empty seat and tries to look like he belongs.
“What’s the low down?” he asks without preamble. 
You’re caught off guard for a lot of reasons. The first is that you have no idea who this man, with his short hair and denim shirt actually is. He looks like a musician, probably could be a member of one of the other, smaller groups playing tonight. He seems like he’s probably in his mid-20s. But you don’t know him. The second reason is that you’re not really sure what he’s asking.
“With what?” you finally ask.
“The group of girls hanging around outside,” he supplies. Of course.
“This your first show or something?” you ask.
“Not exactly,” he says. “I mostly did studio work until I replaced the guy before me in Moonwalker. They needed a new drummer.”
“I’m sure you had plenty of girls hanging around the studio,” you say. 
“Including you?” he wonders. “I’m Soonyoung, by the way.”
You give him your name in return. “And no, I write for Rolling Stone.”
That catches his interest in the way it always does with musicians. They all want to be in the magazine, want to know they’ve made it. Just as many want to make sure whatever’s published about them is positive, paints them in a good light. It’s why your boss has always stressed to remember the musicians aren’t your friends. That’s never been an issue for you, so you’ll continue to chat with Soonyoung. Try to see if his band might be the one you pitch to your boss. 
He wants to keep talking, you can tell, but a man that looks like a manager pops his head into the room. Once his eyes land on Soonyoung, he’s calling him away. The rest of the band is going over something pre-show and they need him. Soonyoung looks back at you.
“Catch ya later?” Soonyoung asks it as a question instead of making it a statement.
“Maybe,” you answer, noncommittal. 
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The next day at work you fill your boss in about the show and pitch Moonwalker for a feature. They’re young and hungry, saying a lot with their music, and there were almost as many fans there to see them as there were to see the headliner. Culturally and musically, they’re relevant. If you can get the jump on this story, you might even be able to beat out the competition. Which is always a gamble. You don’t have some magic 8 ball telling you if these guys are the real deal. 
After your boss loops in a couple of the big music guys at the magazine, he agrees that you can try to get the story. If the band will let you go to the next several stops, and actually answer your questions, your boss will sign off on it. Well, you have to stay on top of your other assignments too, but you assure him that won’t be an issue. 
Three days later you’re headed to your first stop on the tour. Their manager had initially been skeptical, but called back a few hours after the pitch. Apparently Soonyoung had asked if it would be you doing the story, said you seemed cool, and the rest of the band was eager for the exposure. So you packed your bags and got on the next bus out to meet them on their tour. From there, you would be traveling with the band. That had also come with the warning from your boss and colleagues, a reminder that the guys in the band weren’t your friends and the women who traveled with them were even less so. Not that it was news to you. 
(And not that you’re thinking about the phone call you got after work that night.
“Hello?” You’re balancing the phone against your ear as you sort through some recent mail.
“Hey! This is Soonyoung!” comes a cheery voice on the other end.
“Oh, uh, hi,” you say. “How did you get my number?”
“My manager called the magazine for a couple last minute questions and they gave him this number,” Soonyoung answers.
You’re wondering why your boss, always worrying about keeping those lines firmly in place, gave out your personal number. But that’s an issue for another day. 
“So you’re hitting the road,” Soonyoung carries on. “You must’ve been into our sound.”
“You’re different and the crowd seemed to dig it,” you say.
“Can’t wait to catch you on the trail,” Soonyoung finishes.)
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The band is funny to be around, you think. It’s a little like herding children at times, even though they’re a few years older than you. But their attention is constantly somewhere and rarely on the question you’re asking. Which should be frustrating, except that Soonyoung is always looking over at you with an apology in his eyes. Always filling in every answer that he can with this band he’s gotten used to at light speed. 
You do get your answers, though. Answers about everything from how the band got together to where they see themselves going to what they think about where the country is headed. In between the booze and the women and the drugs, you’re able to piece together who this group actually is and what they’re about. The more you learn, the more you want to learn. The more you relate to the things they’re saying. For the first time in your career, you’re actually wondering if you can capture the energy of this band when you put it to paper. Can you capture the way they vibe together? Can you capture the way the singer mesmerizes an entire crowd? Can you capture the way Soonyoung goes from smiling and happy to laser focused on stage? There’s magic in seeing them perform live.
There’s also the small matter of getting too close to them. Or to one of them in particular. From the beginning you knew that Soonyoung would be a problem. He’s too loud and he’s not all that smooth, but there’s a real tenderness to him. There’s a softness to his approach that you weren’t quite expecting. The first time he invites you to hang out with the band after a show, you ignore it. It’s easy. You’re thinking of the advice from your boss and your coworkers. The second and third times are easy too. Well, easy enough. You say no and go back to your room to work on notes for the story.
Except, that’s when it changes. You get on the phone with your boss, tell me how much bigger the story is becoming than you ever anticipated. There’s so much more than just the band, from the backgrounds of the members, to the lyrics of their songs, to where they see themselves heading. Three members, including Soonyoung, are the children of immigrants in this country. Where you expect push back from your boss, instead you’re met with agreement. Stay on the road, you’ve been on top of your assignments. He’ll give you more words for the piece you’re writing. Just carry on, he loves all the notes and ideas he’s seen so far. 
It’s exactly what you’re hoping for and yet there’s still a feeling in the pit of your stomach like things are about to change. Not because this is a big article, though it is. You’ve never been given more than a thousand words and you have three thousand now. It’s more than just a chance. Yet you’re still unsettled about something. 
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It’s another day. Another set of pre-show questions, a depth to each band members’ background, an insight in the process of writing songs, even a little bit of a look into why each of them got into music in the first place. The leader of the band and the manager are more reserved, concerned with how the group will come across when you write this article. They’re always asking what you’ll say or if they can see the article before it comes out. 
Your answer is always the same: no. But, you assure them that you’re not in this to ruin their careers. What would be the point? Who would want to answer your questions moving forward? You just want to paint an honest picture of what they’re like and what they’re about. 
Post show is the same song and dance as always. Soonyoung asks for you to come by their routine after-party. You see the way some of the other hangers-on watch for your answer, seem annoyed that he’s asking yet again when you’ve said no every other time. You say no, like every other time, and watch the smiles that form instantly on the faces of those who drag Soonyoung off. His eyes stay on you even after you turn around to head to your room. 
That’s where the similarities stop. You’re reading over your notes at the desk in your dingy hotel room. It’s far too late and the lighting is awful, but you want to make sure you get it all down before you forget. You also want to test out a few sentences or even passages to send back to your boss. The article really has taken shape in your head and you’re excited to actually write it.
A knock at the door pulls you from your thoughts about word choice. You figure it’s probably just some drunk person looking for the band and getting the room wrong. Or looking for friends after the show. It’s not like that would be the first time. So you don’t consider that you’re not really dressed for company.
“Hey,” from a voice that’s entirely too familiar. 
There’s a moment when you’re both just looking at each other. You’re trying to figure out what he’s doing here and why he doesn’t seem drunk. He’s taking in your open bathroom over your nightgown. After another moment, you pull the bathrobe closed, definitely too late by the smirk playing on Soonyoung’s mouth. 
“Uh, what are you doing here?” you ask after clearing your throat.
“I wanted to see what was so important that kept you from hanging with us,” Soonyoung answers. “‘M I interrupting something?” 
“Yes, actually,” you say before you can think better.
“Really?” he challenges.
“I was writing,” you rush out. “I don’t have my typewriter here but I’ve been putting passages together.”
“And that couldn’t wait til morning to hang out with us? See what we’re like outside of the venue?” Soonyoung presses.
“I’ve seen you outside the venues,” you argue. “And it’s not that it’s keeping me from hanging out with you.”
“Then what is?” he asks. 
“We’re not friends, Soonyoung, and you’ve got plenty of people to keep you distracted,” you offer with an eye roll.
“They’re not that distracting…or entertaining,” he says and you actually laugh. 
“They’ll be heartbroken,” you muse.
“Let me come in for a drink,” Soonyoung presses. “It’s rude to leave company in the hall.”
“I don’t have anything to drink,” you say, almost regretful.
“I do,” Soonyoung says, holding up a six pack.
This is dumb, a terrible idea. It’s exactly what your boss warned you about. But you step to the side anyway and let Soonyoung walk around you. With a look down the hallway to confirm nobody saw him, you close the door.  
“What are you doing here, really?” you ask.
Soonyoung settles on the edge of the bed and opens one of the beers. He holds one out to you and you take it. He’s already inside the room, might as well appreciate something free to drink.
“I don’t know, I like being around you. There’s more to you than most of the people that hang around the band,” Soonyoung says.
“That’s because I’m not just hanging around the band. I’m here working,” you reason.
“And that means you can’t have fun?” Soonyoung wonders.
“I am having fun,” you disagree. 
“You know what I mean,” he says, not letting you get away with it. You hesitate, unsure where to go from here. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’m interested in you. I want to actually know you in the way you’re getting to know us. I’m laying myself bare and you don’t have to do the same, I just want to know you.”
Which is fair, isn’t it? Of all the band members, Soonyoung has been the most open, the most honest about who he is, what he’s about, and where he wants to go. So you make the decision you probably always were going to make. You sit down on the bed next to him, instead of leaving space by sitting in the chair, and you start to tell him who you are. Nothing feels off limits from your struggles in a male-dominated field to your family life to your past relationships. To his credit, he’s a good listener. His face is so expressive and open that you find yourself saying more than you have to anyone in ages. 
As you continue to talk, your beers sit largely untouched. Soonyoung’s taken a few sips, but mostly his eyes have been focused on you, like he’s looking for the things your face is saying that your words aren’t. Somewhere it progresses from you talking about who you are to the two of you talking about anything that comes up. It’s not a level of comfort you were ever expecting to feel in a place like this. It’s also really difficult to remember what your boss said.
“So we’re not friends, huh?” Soonyoung asks during a lull.
“Oh, well…” you stutter.
He laughs. “Luckily I’m not so easily scared off.”
“It’s just, my boss…well he warned me not to get too close to you,” you admit.
“Me specifically?” Soonyoung asks.
“No, the band as a whole,” you answer without meeting his eyes. 
You start when Soonyoung’s finger lifts your chin up to meet his eyes. It’s hard to meet them when you feel like he sees through you. “I think you seem smart enough to make that call for yourself, don’t you?” 
All you can do is nod. That seems to make him happy. You feel more exposed though, more raw. Even more so when you remember that you’re only in your nightgown and bathrobe. Without even realizing it, you pull the bathrobe closed again.
“Do you want me to go?” Soonyoung’s voice is quiet, not a whisper but deep with something else. The entire mood shifts. 
You shake your head immediately. This time it’s not enough.
“I need to hear you,” he says.
“No, Soonyoung, I don’t want you to go,” you say quietly. 
His fingers are on your chin again, soft enough that you could pull away if you wanted to. Which you don’t. His voice is still low, thick with something you now realize is desire. It’s the same feeling you got when you extended your trip following Moonwalker on the road. And it’s definitely trouble. 
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, voice gentle like he has to be careful with you. 
You nod again before considering if he needs to hear you. He doesn’t. Not this time. His lips meet yours gently, so soft like he’s not really sure it’s happening. Like he’s worried this is all a dream. You’re kind of worried about that too, but you’re not sure if it would be better that way. If this should all just be something you’re dreaming up instead of something that’s actually happening. 
It’s not enough, you open your mouth and he takes it as an invitation almost immediately. The kiss deepens, becomes a little more insistent and a little more desperate. He’s testing the waters at the same time. One hand rests on your bare thigh and the other slides up your neck into your hair, anchoring you to his mouth. You gasp a bit at the firmness. It’s a different side to him than you’ve seen. Well, except when he’s on stage. He’s just as focused then as he is now. 
But it’s not quite enough and you’re not really sure what makes you adjust. You’ve never really been someone to be forward, not like this. So you’re not really sure why you readjust to straddle his lap. Not that he’s complaining. His groan is low, from the back of his throat, as you settle on top of him. For a moment, you’re aware that you’re still just in your nightgown. 
Until Soonyoung’s hands run along the bare skin of your thighs and you shiver under his touch. Until his fingers dig into your skin, just hard enough to anchor you but not so hard it’ll leave marks. Until your own fingers find their purchase in Soonyoung’s hair, shorter than you’re used to on men, yet perfect for him. You’re not used to straddling someone like this either, so you try not to move too much. Except when you need to adjust because your knees aren’t comfortable as they’re digging into the mattress. That single movement drags your core across his lap and pulls a deep groan from him. You can feel him hardening when he jerks his hips up into you.
Soonyoung moves one hand up your back, underneath the nightgown so his fingers are on your skin. His other hand holds the back of your head so you can’t stop kissing him. Then he’s leaning back onto the bed, bringing you with him so that now you’re on top of him. You feel a little out of your element like this, not entirely used to being the one in control. Even if the control is an illusion and it really rests with Soonyoung. It’s like he can sense that and wraps his strong arms around you to flip the two of you over. He breaks the kiss only for a moment as he’s hovering over to look down at you. You’re sure you blush under his attention, there’s so much affection. Then you’re kissing again. 
You know where this is heading, know and don’t want to stop it. His hips rut against your core more as the kisses continue to intensify and you want more. Need more than the friction with too much clothing between you. You’re about to pull his shirt off, have your fingers on the hem, when there’s a loud banging on the door. It startles you both from your little bubble. After a second, the banging starts again.
You reluctantly slide out from underneath Soonyoung to go look out the peephole. Something you did not do when he showed up. It’s one of his bandmates. You crack the door open and try to act like you’d been sleeping.
“Hey sorry, we’re looking for Soon, have you seen him?” he asks.
You pretend to yawn and shake your head. “Sorry, been sleeping.”
“Huh, well sorry,” he says and is gone before you can say anything else.
Soonyoung is behind you before the door even closes, wrapping his arms around you and holding you back against his chest. He presses a soft kiss behind your ear, gentle like his first kiss. 
“I should probably go before they come back,” he whispers against your skin.
“About what I said,” you begin, turning around in his arms to face him.
“S’okay, I get it,” he assures you. He places the gentlest kiss on your lips. “I know what you’re dealing with.”
“Thank you,” you say quietly.
“And maybe we’ll get to continue this,” Soonyoung offers. He sounds like he’s trying to be nonchalant, but his face gives away how badly he wants you to agree.
“God, yes, please,” you respond. You don’t care how you sound when his face lights up. That’s all you need.
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The next day has you packing up and heading to the next city. Road days are actually some of your favorite because it’s just you with the people on the bus. It’s a much smaller group than at the venues or at the hotel afterwards. It also gives you a better glimpse into who Moonwalker are outside of the performances. You see how they interact, how they approach conversations, what they do to fill their time.
Of course, now, Soonyoung wants to be around you whenever he can. A fact entirely too obvious to some of the people on the bus. He accepts that you want to keep some amount of distance, doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. The two of you just kind of gravitate together anyway. Whether it’s sitting near each other on the bus or stopping at the same places for food when you stop. Most people seem to write it off as how he’s been with you the entire time. Most don’t realize that you’re seeking him out almost as much now. 
You get enough time without prying ears to let him know that you don’t want to distract him the night before a show. You also know how their manager can be, so you think it’s best for him to be in the bed that he’s supposed to be in. He pouts for a second but understands. You’re trying to keep at least the appearance of separation. 
The day of the next show finds you in the lobby waiting for some coffee and something to eat when a woman breezes in through the open doors. You hate to generalize, but she looks like a lot of the other women that hang around bands, except a little more confident. A little more sure of herself or her position. Maybe she’s someone’s girlfriend. You’re sure that whatever Moonwalker gets up to on the road, at least some of them are in relationships. Not Soonyoung, you’re sure he would’ve mentioned it. 
For some reason, the woman approaches you after speaking to someone at the desk. She’s glamorous up close, for lack of a better way to put it, but maybe not as confident as you’d initially thought.
“Is this where Moonwalker is staying?” she asks without preamble. 
“Uh, yeah,” you answer.
“Oh good, I’ve been looking for Soonyoung and I keep missing his stops,” she says with a smile.
Your stomach drops and you do everything you can not to let your face show how bothered you are. She’s looking for who?
“Soonyoung?” you ask. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to pick up on your distress.
“It’s an unusual name, I know, but he’s the drummer for Moonwalker,” she carries on.
“Uh, I haven’t seen him today,” you offer.
“I wasn’t expecting you had, you’re clearly not a groupie,” she says with a slightly sympathetic smile. You’re not really sure what to do with that. “But he’s staying here?”
“Yeah, they’re staying here,” you confirm. “Who are you?”
“Oh well I’m his…well it’s complicated, but we’re seeing each other,” she says.
“Right,” is all you can muster.
“Who are you?” she asks.
You give your name. “I write for Rolling Stone.”
“You’re a journalist?” She asks the question with all the surprise and disdain of someone that thinks only men can write.
“I am,” you confirm and stand up. “It’s been great speaking, I’m sure Soonyoung will be around soon. They haven’t left for the venue yet.”
You’re off before she can say anything else without coffee or the snack you’d been looking for. Before the tour, you never drank coffee in the afternoons because of the caffeine. Now, you’re staying up much later. 
Once you’re back in your room, you let yourself cry. For so many reasons. For breaking the rule and getting so close to Soonyoung. For allowing yourself to feel something for him. For being stupid enough to think he felt something for you too. For how hard it’s going to be to carry on with this story now that you know who he really is. For having to separate personal from professional. For all the things that could have been. 
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You keep your distance from Soonyoung through the rest of the day and the show. He’s visibly confused when you make excuse after excuse to walk away or talk to someone else. But why should he be? Surely the woman ended up finding him after speaking to you and surely she’s waiting somewhere for him. Why should he keep bothering with you? 
It’s not until you’re back in your room post-show that you start to plan your next steps. You’re scheduled to join the band for at least 3 more shows. It’s what you and your boss agreed to. And it was fine, before everything happened with Soonyoung. Could you find a way to convince your boss that you do actually have enough for the article and it’s time to come home? Maybe. You’ll have to start thinking of good reasons.
It’s during this inner monologue that you hear a quiet knock at the door. You know who it’s going to be before you even open the door. Soonyoung stands on the other side looking much more subdued than normal. He looks sad, maybe even hurt.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
His voice sounds just as sad as he looks, which causes anger to flare in you for a moment. What reason does he have to be hurt? But you step aside anyway because this isn’t a conversation to have in the doorway where anyone could overhear.
“What is it?” you ask once you’re both inside. He sits on the edge of your bed and you take the chair at the desk.
“What’s wrong?” he asks in response.
“What do you mean what’s wrong?” you ask louder than you intended.
“Everything was good and we were on the same page, what changed?” Soonyoung asks.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe you having a girlfriend? I met her in the lobby this afternoon, she was looking for you,” you fire back. 
Soonyoung goes quiet. Not like he’s been caught, like he’s confused. Like he doesn’t know what you mean. Then his face changes into one of annoyance. “Do you mean Mary?”
“I’m not sure, Soonyoung, how many girlfriends do you have?” you ask, irritated.
“None,” he insists and then describes the woman from earlier.
“Sounds right, she didn’t mention her name,” you agree. 
Soonyoung huffs out an overly annoyed sigh. “That’s not my girlfriend and again, I do not have a girlfriend…”
“Girlfriend, friend, groupie, whatever,” you dismiss. “I’m not interested in the drama.”
“Neither am I,” Soonyoung insists. You want to believe him. His face is so kind, so honest. But this is why you don’t get involved with the band.
“I want to believe you,” you start.
“Then believe me,” Soonyoung pleads. “Mary used to hang around at the studio I worked at before coming on this tour. I was nice to her, we chatted a couple times, but I never even got her number. I never even went out with her or kissed her or anything. I have no idea why she showed up here.”
“You promise?” you ask. 
Soonyoung is off the bed and coming to kneel before you in a single move. He takes your hands in his, so still and serious. Like nothing else matters. 
“I promise you, there is nothing going on there. The only person I’m interested in getting to know is you,” he says. 
“Soonyoung,” you caution.
“I know, your career, the article, all of it, I get it,” Soonyoung assures you. “I’m willing to take whatever you can give me.”
It’s dumb. You know it’s dumb. And you don’t care because this man in front of you is doing more than you ever expected. So you lean forward to kiss him and feel him smile against your lips. The next second, he hoists you up (you’re thankful for that drummer arm strength) and carries you to the bed. He’s so gentle when he puts you down, so careful to make sure you don’t hit your head on the headboard. 
And then his lips are on yours again, kissing you so fiercely that you lose your breath. His hands wander your body like he’s trying to map every piece of you. Every curve, every spot, every place that makes you shudder. His lips on you are a constant, keeping you grounded in this moment, allowing it to feel like more than a dream. His hands wander up the skirt you wore to the show earlier. You had put off changing for bed beyond removing your stockings and shoes. Now you’re almost thankful for that decision with how your skin erupts into goosebumps under Soonyoung’s touch. 
This time when you reach to remove his shirt, there’s no loud knock to disrupt you. There’s nothing at all to distract you from the beautiful man hovering over you on the bed. It seems ridiculous, now, that you ever thought you could ignore him. Once you get his clothes off, he removes your own, so you’re laying bare on your bed. Everything inside you wants you to cover yourself, unused to anyone taking you in with the attention Soonyoung gives you. But when you go to move your hands to cover yourself, he catches them, places the softest kisses on your knuckles, and lightly puts them over your head. His eyes take your body in like he’s never seen anything better.
“Absolutely beautiful,” he whispers against your skin. “You’re perfect.”
“Look who’s talking,” you manage to reply. 
“Are you sure you want this?” he asks, pulls away so he can look you in your eyes. “It’s okay if you say no.”
“Little late for that,” you chuckle.
“No, it’s not,” he reiterates. 
“I know, Soon,” you say through a smile. “I do want this.” 
It’s all the reassurance that he needs when his lips meet yours again, insistent. One of his hands runs down your body and along your thigh before he separates your legs. It makes you shiver in anticipation. Every part of you longs for him. You know he must realize. He runs one of his fingers between your folds and moans into the kiss with how wet you are. How badly you want him. How ready you are for him. After he does this several more times, you pull away.
“Please,” you beg him. 
You’re expecting him to tease you or to ask you what it is you’re begging for. Instead, he slides one finger inside you and captures your gasp. The kiss doesn’t last nearly long enough before he’s pulling away again, this time to watch your body react to his finger pumping slowly in and out of you. He’s encouraging your moans, muttering praises into your skin, making you feel like nothing else matters. He slides a second finger into you and your back arches at the feeling. He hooks his middle finger inside you and you know you’re going to be done for entirely too soon. 
As his pace quickens, he trails kisses along your neck, your chest, your stomach. You can’t even be self conscious because he doesn’t give you the chance. Just makes you feel better than you’ve ever felt with just his fingers. Your hands tangle in the sheets as you writhe under his attention.
“Soonyoung, please, I’m gonna come,” you whine out. He doesn’t slow, just adds a third finger.
“Then come, baby, I want to watch you come all over my fingers,” he urges.
And that’s, well that’s got you even closer. Never have you had a guy put your own needs above his own like that. He keeps his rhythm steady and it’s all too much, you’re feeling him everywhere and your body is on fire.
“Let go,” he whispers low into your ear.
So you do, you let go and drench his fingers, the release so strong that it takes you a minute to come back down or to realize you feel empty without his fingers. He’s laying on his side next to you and running a hand through your hair to brush it out of your face.
“Oh my god, Soonyoung,” you rasp out.
“Yeah?” he asks and you nod. 
He adjusts his position and you feel his hard length against your hip. You reach a hand down to lightly grip his cock. It’s longer than you were expecting but not too thick. Not entirely intimidating to think about inside of you. 
“You don’t have to…” he starts.
“I want to,” you disagree.
You run your finger over the head, collecting a little of the precum and then run your hand back down. It’s not enough though, so you push yourself up. He follows you with his eyes and readjusts so he’s leaning back against the headboard. You get between his legs and lick a stripe up the underside of his length, watch as he shudders over the briefest touch. You can tell he’s trying to sit back and enjoy it, but he’s sensitive. He must have enjoyed you coming on his fingers more than you realized. 
He lets you tease him, running your tongue along him entirely too slowly, your hand pumping without enough friction. But his desires win out before long.
“I need to be inside of you,” Soonyoung whines. “Please?”
You swallow hard and nod. “Yes, oh my god.”
Before you even realize what’s happening, he gathers you up in his arms and lays you down underneath him. He spreads your leg and kisses all the way up from your thigh to your lips, leaving you desperate for more of him when he pulls away. It’s only so he can line himself up at your entrance, though. He eases into you slow enough that you can adjust to the feel of him. And then he’s rolling his hips into you.
You’re not sure if it’s the build up between the two of you, the realization of your feelings when you met the woman claiming to be his girlfriend, or what, but everything just feels…better. The stretch is that perfect kind of pleasure and the way he rolls his hips into you is just the right pace. He whispers constant reassurances into your skin and you don’t think you’ve ever felt this safe or whole with someone before. 
He takes his time with you, doesn’t thrust into you too hard or too fast, just wants to savor the moment. You can’t recall your last relationship taking this much care. It’s overwhelming in the best way, in the way that you don’t want it to end.
“I’m so close,” he hisses out too soon. 
“I’m almost there,” you whine out, heading towards your second orgasm of the night.
Soonyoung reaches between you and starts to rub your clit, making you cry out from the sensitivity. In no time, you’re screaming out as you come seconds apart from each other. 
“Wow,” Soonyoung says when he’s caught his breath and laying next to you on the bed. 
“Yeah,” you agree. 
He rolls over onto his side and faces you, looking both incredibly relaxed and impossibly happy. “Are we okay?”
“Oh my god, this is when you ask?” you laugh out.
“Well, I don’t wanna make the wrong assumption!” he defends.
“Yes, we’re good,” you start, “and before you say it, I will talk to you before making assumptions next time.”
“There’s going to be a next time? Do you like me?” Soonyoung asks, all gentle teasing in his voice.
“I am going to kick you out of this room,” you threaten.
You don’t follow through. Not when he wets a towel to come help you clean up or when he offers to get you clothes to wear to bed. Not when he fills up a glass with water for you to drink so you’re not dehydrated. Not when he offers to leave so that people don’t get the wrong idea. Not when you’re pulling him into a kiss and back into bed. Not when you’re talking until you fall asleep tangled up in each other.
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The next couple days pass in kind of a blur with traveling and getting settled into the next tour stop. Needless to say, you don’t reach out to your boss about ending your trip early. You do have a conversation with Soonyoung, though, about how it is almost your last stop. He gets it, but he’s not ready to think about it, instead wrapping himself around you and pressing kisses to any part of your body that he can reach. He’s incredibly distracting and you find you don’t really mind. You also don’t mind if he lets his bandmates think there’s something going on with you. None of them seem surprised, which makes you wonder what he said before he won you over. 
After the next show, he doesn’t even pretend to go to the afterparty before coming to see you. He departs from his band and the hangers-on at the entrance to the hotel and comes straight to your room. Just as the two of you planned. And not that you’re expecting anything, but you’re waiting in your nightgown just in case, unable to stop thinking about Soonyoung moaning over being interrupted the first time. 
“Hey…wow,” Soonyoung says when you open the door and he takes you in.
“You were whining about being interrupted the first time,” you offer with a shrug. 
“I was not whining,” he protests, but kisses you anyway when he steps inside. 
“You were and it was cute,” you disagree. Calling Soonyoung cute is a mistake, you realize that the second you see his face.
“You think I’m cute,” he preens.
“I take it back,” you say immediately.
“Nope,” he says and pulls you into him. “Can’t take it back.”
He kisses you hard and deep before you can continue the argument. Not that you’re complaining about it. He moves backwards to sit down on the bed and pulls you onto his lap. Same position, different bed. You’ll still take it. 
“Soon, can I ask you something?” you ask.
“Anything,” he offers.
“Tonight, can you…don’t be gentle with me,” you manage.
“You didn’t like that?” Of course that’s his first worry.
“No, no, it was amazing, completely perfect,” you assure him and he relaxes beneath you. “It’s just…I want…”
“Something else,” he finishes.
You nod and look down, absently playing with the hem of his shirt. “I just, I feel safe with you and I want to try things.” 
Soonyoung lifts your chin with a finger so you can see how much care there is behind his eyes. He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth and then to your lips. 
“I won’t be so gentle with you, then,” he agrees. “But you have to tell me if it’s too much okay?” 
“Okay,” you agree.
And he’s not gentle. He takes his time building up to it, kissing you hard and pulling your lip between his teeth. Pulling off your clothes so you’re naked on his lap. Leaving marks where nobody else will see them. Grinding against your core even though he’s still dressed. Pulling endless moans out of you. Until he flips you onto your bag and pushes your legs open. He’s got his fingers inside you again and it’s nothing like the first time. Nothing like the gentle rhythm. He’s scissoring his fingers and pumping them quickly. He’s using this thumb to rub your clit. The stream of words coming out of your mouth is incomprehensible and you’re sure the people in the rooms on either side can hear you. You’re equally sure you don’t care.
It feels like record time when he’s coaxing your first orgasm out of you. Your whole body is sensitive and the waves continue to ripple through you. It doesn’t even feel like you’ve recovered from the first orgasm when you feel Soonyoung’s tongue run between your folds. He’s spreading your lips with his fingers and lapping into you.
“Soonyoung, fuck, oh my god,” you scream out.
He pops his head up from between your legs just long enough for a single question. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No, fuck, please don’t,” you whine out and he’s between your legs again. 
You can’t even see straight but you’re sure that the sight of this man between your legs, tongue working you like he’s starving, is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. His thumb rubs over your clit again and you arch into him. You move your hand into his hair to anchor him or yourself, you’re not sure. You’re oversensitive and overstimulated, but it’s the best kind of mix of pain and pleasure. There are tears forming in the corners of your eyes and you urge him on, beg him to keep going. 
The second orgasm rips through you even harder than the first and you’re screaming out your praise for him as he guides you through it. Once you come down, you feel him come up next to you and roll towards him. His lips are on yours in the next second and you can taste yourself on his tongue. You think you could kiss him for hours without getting bored or wanting to stop. Yet he pulls away from you entirely too soon. 
There’s confusion on your face as he gets out of the bed (and maybe a little bit of embarrassment that you’ve come twice and he’s still dressed). His eyes are on you as he strips himself out of his clothing before leaning over the bed. If you’re waiting for another kiss, you’re left waiting. He grabs behind your legs and pulls you to the edge. His eyes are full of fire, yet still checking to see if you’re okay. You ease any worries with a quick nod of your head. With that he pulls you up against him and kisses you quickly.
You’re so dazed that you don’t even realize he’s changing your position until you’re leaning over the edge of the bed with your ass in the air. He uses his foot to spread your legs apart so that he can line himself up. Even though you want to watch him, he presses between your shoulder blades so you’re leaning forward as much as possible. And maybe he’s got a point because the feeling of him pressing into you is so much better when you’re not watching him do it. 
This time, he doesn’t wait for you to adjust to him, just immediately snaps his hips into you, burying his cock fully inside on the first thrust. Even though he’s being rougher, his praise is still constant. Still talking you through every moment. When he lifts one of your legs up so your knee is on the edge of the bed, you think you see stars at the new position. He’s hitting you so deep and filling you so completely that you’re not sure how you ever survived without him. Dramatic, you chastise yourself, but you’re a little beyond sex stupid right now. 
His fingers dig into your hips where he holds you in place, keeping up the pace that has your eyes watering yet again. You’re so sensitive and you’re sure you’re not going to come again. Until you feel the orgasm building and the pressure in your tummy. Until his own words become unintelligible, just a string of curses and praise. Until you hear yourself tell him that you’re gonna come again and feel his own release just after yours. 
Your legs feel like jelly as he guides you back into the bed and disappears for a towel. You can hear the water running just before he reappears to clean you up. It’s such a stark contrast from minutes earlier when he’s gentle with you again. It’s way too early to feel anything for him, you remind yourself again, but you also can’t pretend not to feel anything. 
Once he cleans himself up, he gets into the bed and tucks the two of you under the covers without bothering to get dressed. His arms circle you and you feel safe, like this. Wanted and special and right. The kiss he presses to your forehead almost makes you sigh.
“How are you?” he asks softly into your hair.
“Amazing? Perfect? I don’t even know,” you answer.
“But you’re okay,” he presses.
“No, I’m a lot better than okay,” you assure him. He must see your smile. 
“Me too,” he agrees.
You’re not sure what happens next or how you’re going to be able to make this work. Or if it’s even going to work. You’re not sure any of that matters because you have this night and you have Soonyoung, at least for now. Nothing else matters.
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thank you for reading, i hope you liked it 💕
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i4oba · 3 months
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haechan as… 💭 / your study buddy ⊹◞✿
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haechan as your study buddy sounds like a complete nightmare
I KNOWWWW
but hear me out… Hear!!!!! me out I swear
when he’s determined, he can focus, it just takes … a bit too much in him to do that
not because he’s stupid, he’s super super smart when he’s actually trying
but you know… there are courses that are pain in the ass and you cannot even deny that
and as complete opposites.. you Do care about it, meanwhile he Does NOT give a shit about those
like he couldn’t care less if he failed introduction to philosophy
he doesn’t even know why he has to complete that course. like what’s the fucking point..
FUCK HEGEL???likeee
but you were hella determined to help him out and kind of motivate him
i mean, he wouldn’t mind a little extra cash as a scolarship either ???The least he can do is just sit down and study
that’s how it always have been anyways, ever since middle school
studying together at the library, solving math problems and talking shit in between two of these sessions
the latter part was hyuck’s favourite honestly, he’s such a shittalker fr (i get it, i am too)
he knows basically every gossip… that’s how it always have been! (he knew about the crush jisung had on one of the seniors back in high school and was sooooo into this little affair he singlehandedly ruined his chances… by accidentally spilling it all to the girlie… Oops was all he said too like LMFAO)
he starts and ends all of your uni study sessions with gossips as well honestly
he says it should be a sandwich (or some bullshit idk)–one nasty rumour, some molecular biology and one lighthearted gossip as a way to finish
letting some steam off
he’s not even sorry about it.. at least he has something to look forward to everytime you meet
he’s such a big gossiper it’s actually crazy
and when he gets soooo into it, his voice gets all squeaky and shit lol
him studying journalism doesn’t even help at all, like why is he so fucking interested in this
he says he wants to work at atlantic but… what are the chances? HE SHOULD STUDY
and that’s why you two were there!!! nose should be buried in books!!!!!!!
but his is… well, behind the screen of his phone, going through his instagram dms and showing off other girl’s messages
some extremely cute ones and some embarrassing love confessions as well
you cannot help but laugh when you see someone replying to his thirst trap stories with heart eyed emojis and shit
especially when you can recall how you literally called him a loser in your reply
i mean, you were right after all Lmfao
he knows you’re joking though.. he knows he’s hot as fuck and the most important: he knows that you know
but let’s get back to our main point ???Duh
you were Sat at one of the lesser crowded corners of the campus library, surrounded by a couple of notebooks, one half cup of coffee that has long gone cold, and your laptop–meanwhile hyuck only had one, pretty small notebook he used for every lecture he had, and it had been…
through a lot (as if a dog chewed on it or something but really it’s just that he didn’t care about it)
but anywaaaaays… in the first like, ten minutes he was actually working??? studying his stuff???? Even telling you some fun facts he could remember
like that’s how he is naturally, his method of learning is teaching at the same time as well
which is actually such a useful way imo, that’s how i do as well lmfao
but then you had to avert your attention and do the rest of your research paper to finally finish the project.. it had been ages since you’ve started and you were nowhere near the finish line
so he just.. went on his phone instead. he thrives on attention and when you’re not giving it to him… well YEAAAHHH
he intentionally puts the volume of his phone pretty high so he can annoy you with the sound of him typing and shit
going through tiktok and all
he’s such an asshole for that
but you like the presence of him. it’s soothing kinda that he’s .. there?? clearly not studying but keeping you company
i mean, doing this all alone would be rather depressing, isn’t it? You’re not a big fan of that
so he stays. because he’s aware.
and maybe, with some extra help, he could learn his material.. you just gotta take break more frequent so he can act like as if he was a lecturer ahah
mansplaining and shit ijbol
and at the end??? at the crack of the night??? walking you back to your dorm???? he’s the one offering you two should do this again soon
not tomorrow, he adds–there’s a frat party he’s expected to attend
but after that????He’s excited to do it again :P
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