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pratchettquotes · 1 year

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Holiday Theme: Happy Hogswatch

"This is disgusting, this whole business," said Constable Visit. "It's the worship of idols--"

"It's a genuine Burleigh and Stronginthearm double-action triple-cantilever crossbow with a polished stock and engraved silver facings!"

"--a crass commercialization of a date which is purely of astronomical significance," said Visit, who seldom paid attention when he was in mid-denounce. "If it is to be celebrated at all, then--"

"I saw this in Bows and Ammo! It got Editor's Choice in the 'What to Buy When Rich Uncle Sidney Dies' category! They had to break both the reviewer's arms to get him to let go of it!"

"--ought to be commemorated in a small service of--"

"It must cost more'n a year's salary! They only make 'em to order! You have to wait ages!"

"--religious significance." It dawned on Constable Visit that something behind him was amiss.

"Aren't we going to arrest this imposter, corporal?" he said.

Corporal Nobbs looked blearily at him through the mists of possessive pride.

"You're foreign, Washpot," he said. "I can't expect you to know the real meaning of Hogswatch."

Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

#visit the infidel with explanatory pamphlets #nobby nobbs #hogfather #discworld #terry pratchett #bows and ammo #presents #christmas gifts #gift giving #religious #traditional #holidays #commercialism #miscommunication #foreign #the real meaning of Hogswatch #mid-denounce #holiday theme: happy hogswatch #extended quote

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strangeironaf · 1 year

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*Family group chat*

Tony: who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Peter: >:0 language

Morgan: yeah dad, watch your fucking language

Stephen: OKAY WHO TAUGHT MORGAN THE FUCK WORD

America: 'the fuck word'

Pepper: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time.

Harley: oh my god she censored it

Tony: Say fuck Pepp

Christine: do it Pepper. Say fuck.

#supreme family #extended supreme family #incorrect supreme family #incorrect quotes #ironstrange #strangeiron #iron dad #doctor dad #tony stark #stephen strange #christine palmer #pepper potts #harley keener #peter parker #america chavez

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incorrect-hs-quotes · 2 months

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CG: HEY, UH.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

CG: 𓁲

GA: What The Fuck Is What

CG:

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

GC: OHH TH3 P3N1S M4N

CG: YOU'RE ALREADY ACQUAINTED WITH THIS THING???

TA: dave 2howed hiim two u2.

CG: IS THAT WHY YOU DIPSHITS HAVE BEEN SPAMMING IT IN EVERY MEMO I MAKE???

GC: 𓁲

GA: 𓁲

TA: 𓁲

GC: 𓁲

TA: 𓁲

GC: 𓁲

GA: 𓁲

CG: STOP

#source: @wcender #extended version. by yours truly #they like to torment him with it #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #karkat vantas #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #sollux captor

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 13 days

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One night at the Hotel, they're scrolling through HellFlix and Vaggie suddenly gasps.

Vaggie: NO FUCKING WAY! It's finally on here!

Charlie: What? You find a show you like?

Vaggie: Not just "like", this is the best show EVER! I've wanted to binge it with you for years!

Charlie: Oh, neat! So, what show is it? What's it about?

Vaggie: I got three words for you, babe. Xena. Warrior. Princess!

SHE WILL RULE IN HELL AT LAST! HER TV SHOW SHALL REIGN SUPREME IN THE HEARTS OF THE MOST DANGEROUS BEINGS IN HELL!!!!! there is just ONE worrying part to that though....

Charlie: "Wait, she kills the king of hell?"

Vaggie: "It's not a historically accurate show babe don't worry about it."

Charlie: "Still... now I'm picturing her murdering my dad. Not sure how to feel about it..."

Lucifer: (intensely eating popcorn behind them) "Well I'd feel GREAT about it!"

Charlie: "Wh- Dad!?"

Lucifer: "It would be an honor."

Charlie: "To be KILLED by her???"

Lucifer: "Of course! Look at her snarling war face! Look at her THIGHS-"

Charlie: "DAD!!!!!"

Vaggie: (sighing) "Wish I was king of hell so she'd murder me..."

Lucifer: "Poor Maggie." (pats her) "There there, maybe Xena- or Gabrielle might be better seeing as you've been cheering every time she comes on screen- maybe they'd agree to murder the princess consort of hell too?"

Vaggie: "I uhhhh- s-sir, me and Charlie, we're not-"

Lucifer: "Right yes of course! Future princess consort."

Vaggie: "Ffffffuture-?"

Charlie: "DAD HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT XENA!? YOU ARE STILL MARRIED TO MOM!"

Lucifer: "Ohhh Char-Char.... Lilith would be FIRST in line for death at the hands of this warrior princess lady and her gal pal. Especially if they used those amazing thighs of theirs to-"

Vaggie: "Sir, please don't finish that sentence and ruin the best show in all creation for my girlfriend by adding more family trauma."

Lucifer: "Whoops! Gosh am I saying too much now? Oh golly, my bad my bad, ha ha ha!"

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "Sweetie? Wanna switch the show off for a while?"

Charlie: "....actually, Vaggie..."

Vaggie: "?"

Charlie: "... D'you think we could get a Xena costume in your size?"

Lucifer: (jaw drops)

Vaggie: "Hhhhh... I- yeah, probably? I mean.... this is hell, and her outfit is mostly leather, so...."

Charlie: "Would you wanna wearrrrr it~?"

Lucifer: (drops popcorn)

Vaggie: "Do you even have to ask?"

Charlie: "Mmmm heheh- but I like setting a good example, and you know I loooove it when people ask~"

-THUD-

Charlie: "ohshitballsdickfuck- DAD-"

Vaggie: "Hostia!"

Lucifer: "IM FINE! AHAHAHA"

Charlie: "Dad- dad im so SORRY i forgot you were here-!"

Lucifer: "NO NO I HEARD NOTHING AND AM A-O-KAYYY!!!!"

Charlie: "You fell face first onto your own cane! You're BLEEDING!"

Lucifer: "Everything is fine! Once I've been sick into this bag of popcorn i will be extra specially FINE and our little impromptu family tv night together is going SO SPLENDEDLY WELL, isn't it Maggie!?"

Vaggie: "Ajo y agua..."

Charlie: "VAGGIE HELP- THE BLOOD??"

Vaggie: (sighing) (smiling) (standing up)

Vaggie: "...I'll go get the first aid kit."

-silly bonus-

Niffty: (from under couch) "I'll trade you the first aid kit for a vile of his bloooooood~~"

Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming and jumping on the couch and clinging to each other in terror)

Niffty: "Don't worry!" (giggles) "It's just for my Collection~"

Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming LOUDER)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #lucifer morningstar #nifty hazbin hotel #incorrect quotes #this whole extended family has the exact same taste in women prove me wrong #xena wrecking people even in hell and even in another tv show #<- she has the range #family night is suffering #anon look what happened #this was stupid fun thank u #<3

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almostaccurateninjagoquotes · 8 months

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WyldFyre: I think I got your lunch.

WyldFyre: *pulls out a note saying: "I am very proud of you. Love, Dad"*

Arin: Oh yeah. I didn't think this was for me.

Arin: *holds up a note saying: "Be good. For the love of the Master please be good."*

#ninjago wyldfyre #wyldfyre ninjago #incorrect ninjago dragons rising quotes #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #arin ninjago #ninjago arin #ninjago #lego ninjago #incorrect quotes #incorrect ninjago quotes #sour patch family #sour patch family extended

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loupettes · 1 year

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You’ve left out one of the chief characters - Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam. Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam.

#should I be at work #yes #am i #no #im making gifs #lotr #guess who did a second marathon of the extendeds in the cinema yesterday #ya gal loop #loup.gif #lord of the rings #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #frodo x sam #lotrgifs #filmgifs #moviegifs #also remember when this was an actual quote Frodo said to sam #yeah me too #loup.lotr

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patron-saint-of-lesbeans · 21 days

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When I feed the hungry, they call me a saint. When I ask why people are hungry, they call me a Communist.

- Hélder Câmara, Brazilian archbishop and Servant of God, as quoted in Peace Behind Bars: A Peacemaking Priest's Journal from Jail (1995) by John Dear.

#catholic #tower of babble #quote #helder camara #Hélder Câmara #Hélder Câmara my beloved. I need to read more of his writing.#sorry I saw some Catholic Blogs being very….petty about politics.#I’m no communist myself but if your faith in god doesn’t transcend political structures then you need more faith.#I’m no hardcore capitalist either but that doesn’t stop me from sympathizing with the suffering of people who are capitalists and believe #in the supremacy of that power structure. the same way our faith should extend to pagans and heretics and nonbelievers.#they are all your family in Christ made in God’s divine image whether you like it or not. agree with them or not.#stop finding superiority over others in what you perceive to be their weaknesses and naivety. it’s not a good look even IF you’re right.

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quinn-pop · 6 months

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back on my kirby bluey shenanigans <3

…kirbluey? kirbluey

thinking about this forever and ever and ever

#every time i draw rtdl family things i can feel my lifespan extending #so feel free to send ideas…#kirbyposting #my art or something #meta knight #kirby #king dedede #bandee #bandana waddle dee #adeleine kirby #metadad #dededad #bluey quotes #ive been wanting to make this since the first post but for some reason didn’t lmao

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menace-behaviour · 1 year

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*Engine 118 is being held hostage for some reason*

Buck: I'm gonna be honest here, guys.

Buck: I don't think we can live, laugh, love our way out of this one.

Chimney: Excuse me, Mr Criminal? Shoot the big blonde one first.

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arrowmaker15 · 6 months

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(Tim rounding the corner into Steph's room)

Tim: What are you listening to?

Steph, out of breath: I'm listening to music and dancing.

Tim: Why?

Steph: Well, I'll be 22 next week.

Tim: And?

Steph: I'm a Swiftie, Tim. Guess what that means.

Tim: What-

Tim:

Tim: No... Please not Taylor Swift for another-

Steph: Swiftie birthday week!

Jason, from another room: FUCK!

#incorrect quotes #dc comics #jason todd #stephanie brown #tim drake #incorrect dc quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #Steph is definitely a Swiftie #I have no doubt about that #this isn't the first time she's blasted Taylor Swift in the manor for sn extended period of time #Bruce grounded her for two weeks #she tried to defend herself by saying she wasn't Bruce's kid #then realized she lived in the manor so technically he was responsible for her

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harringroveera · 9 months

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Post Starcourt AU, Billy survived, and everyone wanted to visit him—all at the same time, which caused a bit of commotion at the hospital

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strangeironaf · 7 months

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Stephen: Can I be frank with you guys? Tony: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Peter: Can I still be Peter? America: Shh, let Frank speak.