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mastermindmiko · 5 months

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Potions Partner (Part 15)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy + fem!reader

word count: 3060

warnings: not eating well, not sleeping well, angst, heartbreak, crying

Hey! If you think this didn't completely suck, feel free to check out my masterlist

part 16

requests are open

an: I think that I'm reusing GIFs at this point

It seemed like life got a million times worse once she didn’t get to share it with Draco. Everything good became less exciting and everything disappointing made her miserable. She never thought she’d be this affected by a boy in her life, and the boy being Draco Malfoy of all people.

The worst part of it all was that other people saw her become more sad, and none of them knew why, they thought that she didn’t have a reason. Harry would roll his eyes when he saw her coming to class late because she overslept.

Her only solace was Ron and Hermione even though they both were at each other’s throats most of the time, they sometimes joined forces to help her out, she couldn’t be more grateful. It seemed that Hermione had to hold Ron back from punishing Draco several times during the day, but she couldn’t say that she was opposed to the idea of Ron punching Draco.

To make matters worse, it seemed that he was suddenly everywhere. He came to dinner and lunch more often and she saw him chatting with his friends more. The things that he didn’t do the first semester. It seemed as though he led a better life without her by his side. The only thing that kept that idea from consuming her entirely was the way his eyes seemed more tired. But it wasn’t enough.

She’d gotten so used to him, so very used to him. Her bed wasn’t as comfortable. She didn’t like hugging a pillow while falling asleep, she preferred Draco’s chest, and his arms.

Harry wasn’t making this easier. His seemingly obsession with Draco was growing more and more by every second. Harry talked about either his potions book or about Draco, nothing else. She’d have to hear his accusations of Draco being a death eater, and she didn’t have the energy to fight him about it anymore.

It felt so entirely silly that her entire life was brought down by his absence. Her grades were slipping, she wasn’t as good a Quidditch player as she was. It seemed so pathetic, she felt so pathetic. She never understood why so many of her friends were affected by boys, but now she couldn’t think about anything but him.

The biggest question that echoed in her head was why? Why did he break up with her? Why was he acting like this? And so many more questions that she never found the answer to.

She knows that she should hate him. She really should not even tolerate his existence. She should go back to hating him the way she did when she was younger, but she doesn’t. She feels so stupid that she doesn’t. He was all she ever thought about, and why he wasn’t with her. She falls asleep to the pain knowing that she would’ve joined her brother in hating him, if she loved him even a little less.

She sits in the Great Hall with her friends surrounding her, but all she could do was play with the food on her plate with her fork. Harry interrupts her brain of thought with him saying, “We’ve got practice after classes, okay?”

She hums and Ron mumbles an okay, looking at her with concern. Hermione does the same, biting her lip. Hermione’s gaze moves to the Slytherin table and she notices Malfoy looking at her friend with a frown on his face.

Hermione had decided to take matters into her own hands after nearly three weeks of seeing her best friend sulk around the castle. They had finished their history of magic lesson early, and Draco didn’t waste a second in leaving the classroom. Hermione rushed after him.

He went into a secluded hallway and he was walking at an incredibly fast pace. Hermione jogged to become closer to him and she shouted his name. He turned back for a second, saw her then turned the other way, and said, “Not in the mood to talk to you Granger.”

She rolled her eyes and rushed up to grab his shoulder. She stopped him and seethed, “I don’t care about your mood, Malfoy. All I care about is Y/N, and you’ve hurt her.”

He folded his arms over his chest, defensively, but she continued talking anyway. “She won’t tell me, but I know she loves you, and I know you love her back. Why you’ve decided to be an idiot and stop being with her is a mystery to me. But I sure hope that for your sake, that you’ll make it right.”

She pokes his shoulder with her finger then she marches into the opposite direction. The sound of her shoes clack against the marble floors and she turns to head to her next class. The class was Defense against the dark arts. She walks inside her class to see her friend sleeping on the desk. She frowns, hoping that Draco would make things right. She walks to sit next to her and the noise of Hermione sitting on the chair, startles her awake.

She sits up, looking at her friend. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and asked, “What took you so long? Class was about to begin, and I know you love to have all your notes and stuff ready before.”

“I had something to take care of.”

***

As much as she was surprised to come to the conclusion, she had to admit that Theodore was a good partner in potions. While she would hate going to potions lessons because they reminded her of what she and Draco had, Theodore was a good distraction, and friend.

He wouldn’t talk a lot, and he wouldn’t mention Draco if he did, which she appreciated. He let her help with the potions and he helped her if she didn’t understand something. He’d make sure she didn’t make any mistakes, and if she did make any, he would help her correct them.

She would call Theodore her friend, but she wasn’t sure if he would consider her the same with him being Draco’s best friend. She still worried about him despite everything, she had to restrain herself from asking Theodore how Draco was doing. She highly doubted he would answer her truthfully anyway. She wondered if Draco asked Theodore about her.

She had her books in her bag that was slung over her shoulder. She was late again, she had overslept. She stayed the entire night up, just staring at the ceiling and when she got up, she noticed that she had already missed breakfast. Her stomach was rumbling while she ran through the corridors.

She burst in the class effectively startling professor Slughorn. He jumped, placing a hand over his chest. He looked at her angrily, and she apologized quickly, “I’m so sorry professor. I didn't mean to be late really.”

He nodded his head and smiled. She smiled back, and he continued explaining. She made her way back to her desk and she passed Hermione, giving her a glare for not waking her up. Hermione pursed her lips then looked away with wide eyes.

She paused when she noticed that Theodore wasn’t sitting in his chair, but rather someone else was occupying his place. It took her a few seconds to process that piece of information. Draco noticed her presence and he looked up at her. She turned around, quickly to see if there were any other spots in the room.

There were no free spots, and so, begrudgingly, with her heart hammering against her chest. She moves the last few steps towards her chair. Silently, she places her bag beside her and stares, a bit too hard in front of her. She doesn’t look at him the entire lesson.

When the break came, she just watched Harry, Hermione and Ron talk to each other, but mostly just Harry and Ron. Hermione and Ron were still on edge with each other, but they seemed more civil. Draco cleared his throat from beside her, trying to get her attention, but she ignored him.

“I’ve brought you this…you missed breakfast.” Draco said, showing a muffin wrapped in tissues in his hand. He tried to hand it to her, under the desk. She remembers the thing that she hates the most about their relationship, back when they had one, the secrecy.

She didn’t reply and she didn’t move an inch. Her heart ached, why was he being nice all of a sudden? He sucked in a breath and he continued, “I know you never liked to eat large dinners, so you get really hungry in the morning, you should take it.”

She hates how the gesture warms her heart. She gulps, but doesn’t give him any reaction. He shuffles beside her, and he sucks in a deep breath. He places the muffin on the table, and he asks, “Would you like to go out with me?”

That brings a reaction out of her. She lets out an incredulous huff, and looks at him with so much anger and surprise. He clasps his mouth shut, and looks at her anxious. She stands up, abruptly, and she shoves her things inside her bag, haphazardly.

She nearly runs out of class, but not before mumbling a small apology to Professor Slughorn. He squeaks at her rushing past him and outside of class. She runs, hoping to reach the common room. She hears Draco call out her name, and she starts to walk faster.

He rushes and grabs her arm to stop her from walking. She shoves her out of his grasp and she shouts, “You do not get to act like everything is normal and fine, when you broke up with me! Out of the blue with no explanation, and in such a cold hearted way, changing your seat, ignoring me-”

“I’m sorry.” He says, amidst her rant. She purses her lips and scoffs. She turns to walk away. She only gets a few more steps in before he traps her between his chest and the wall of the hallway. She sucks in a deep breath at their close proximity that she hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

“I’m sorry. Take me back, please. Please.” he pleads and she avoids his gaze. She smells his familiar scent, the one that she fell asleep to, and she couldn’t help the way her eyes started to tear up. She blinked them back, but knowing that he already saw them. He says, “I miss you so much, and I’m so sorry.”

He lifts a hand to cup her cheek. It still cradles her face perfectly. His calloused fingers against her smooth skin as he rubs her thumb over the skin, makes her heart ache at the familiar action. She brings her hand to his wrist to bring his hand down. He places his other hand over her own to stop her, and he rushes, “It was a mistake, I’m sorry.”

“I thought I could live without you, but I can’t. I can’t do anything without you, I need you. I can’t even sleep without you. I’ll do whatever you want me to do, just take me back, please. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Please, let me be yours again.” he says, and he starts crying. His tears drip down his face and his lips shake as he speaks.

“You hurt me-” She began with her own eyes, becoming glazed. He takes his hand off of hers and brings it to cup her face. He brings her close to him, and forces her to meet his eyes. He cuts her off, “I know, I know. I’m so sorry. Forgive me, please, please, please.”

He repeats his pleas again and again, until her own face is stained with tears. He rests his forehead against hers, and he wipes her tears with his thumbs. He whispers, shakily and pained one last time, “Please.”

She takes in a shaky breath, finally noticing how fast her heart was going. She looked at him, and his glassy eyes, and she hates herself for starting, “You’ll make it up to me-”

“I will, I will. Every moment of every day, until you trust me again. I want you.” He says, and his breathing becomes more regulated. She grinds her teeth against each other in thought, she wants him just as much as he wants her, maybe even more. She whispers, “Okay…”

Draco breaks, and he wraps his arms around her tightly, moving from her face to her waist. He grips the material of her uniform as he hugs her. He started sobbing, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him too. He sobs, “I hate myself for hurting you.”

He presses small kisses on her shoulder, softly. In the way that calms her down, and she wraps her arms around him even more tightly. She missed him and this so much. She threads her fingers through his hair, and he sighs against her.

They hold each other for a few minutes. She remembers and revels in him. She couldn’t do this again, she can’t have him hurt her again. Her chest constricts at the thought. She pulls a bit from him to look him in the eye, but he keeps her close to him. She says, “If you hurt me again, I won’t ever forgive you again.”

He nods his head. She looks at him and notices how tired he is from the dark circles under his eyes. He looks even paler, if possible. She forgot how much she loved the little blue specks in his grey eyes. He must’ve been admiring her as well because he leans down, then he hesitates, “Can I kiss you?”

She nods her head, and he leans down. Her stomach flips in anticipation, her body itching to kiss him again. He ghosts his lips over hers. She closes the small gap between them, and she feels the soft skin of his lips press on her lips. She feels her heart race too fast, and she parts their lips.

She’s panting despite the short-lasting contact. He trails after her lips, and presses his lips on hers again. She tries to feel content in kissing him, but she feels her chest constrict, her brain ringing, telling her this is a bad idea. She parts her lips again, and she says, “I’m sorry…I’ll need a time to get used to…this again.”

He nods his head in understanding. She presses her lips against each other tightly, and she brings him to a hug once again. He’s content with just being around her again. They stay like this until she feels her legs start to ache. She moves away from him and she says, “I should go.”

“Okay…” his face falls, but he gives her that small smile that she loves so much. His hand reaches into his pocket and brings out the crimson stone. He holds it out to her and he says, “Here you go, you can bring your things too when you come by.”

“I think I’ll wait a bit before doing that.” She says, scared that he’ll kick her out again when she does it. It would be easy to move her things though, they’re still in the magic box that he gave her. She moves her left hand to take the stone from his hand. He pauses when he notices his ring still on her finger.

“You didn’t take it off.” He holds her hand and rubs the ring with his fingers. Admiring the colour against her skin, and knowing that by now his name that is engraved inside the ring has probably left a mark on her skin. She looks at her hand and she lies, “Oh, I didn’t even notice that I still did.”

She moves her hand to her other one and starts to slide it off her finger, she says, “You can have it back if you want.” Draco stops her before it is halfway to her finger. He slides it back, and he says, “no, no. Keep it on.”

He smirks, and it causes a weird feeling in her chest that feels something like bitter nostalgia. She would always act annoyed by his cocky and arrogant attitude, but god, does she love it. He says, “You know how I like green on you.”

The words remind her of the gift that she had gotten for him a few weeks ago during break that is stashed under piles of clothes, forgotten. It was foolish of her to plan that far ahead with all that has been going on in the world, and without knowing how stable her relationship was. She thought it was, but apparently it wasn’t.

The school bell rings, and she furrows her eyebrows at the fact that they’ve been like this for an hour. People were about to exit classrooms and see them together. Draco leaned down and asked, “Will you come by tonight?”

“Yeah, if everything goes as it should.” She says, and he nods his head. They hear the class doors open and he nods his head once more. She can tell that he wants to kiss her goodbye, but she doesn’t feel like she should. She couldn’t help but remember the way she felt while kissing him, and how uncomfortable she felt.

He leaves and she heads back to the class. She moves to the potions classroom, and just when she was about to enter, her friends exit with worried, and concerned looks on their faces. Ron asks as soon as he sees her, “What happened?”

“He was just being an idiot.” She said, giving him a pointed look, quickly looking at Harry. Ron’s mouth forms an O in understanding, and he nods his head. Harry folds his arms in front of him, and he says, “Why did he follow you?”

“Just to pester me more, you know how he is.” she huffs and folds her arms in front of her, trying to seem irritated. Harry seems satisfied with the answer for a while before he asks, “Where were you the rest of the lesson?”

“Common room.” She answers, and he hums. He starts walking to his next class. They all walk a bit slower than him, and Hermione whispers in her ear, “What happened?”

“I have a boyfriend again.”

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@urbansaint @angelofasgard16 @love-me-satoru

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floralcyanide · 1 year

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The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

Joel Miller x Reader

request: BOY HOWDY MY DUDE do I have a challenge for you if you’re up for it. Can I pls request a little Joel x Reader with Angst 20 and Smut 2? I feel like there’s some way that the two could come together perfectly 🥴😈 Love you! by @o-holynight

angst prompt #20: “Please, don’t make this worse than it already is.”

smut prompt #2: “Don’t act innocent when we both know where your mouth was two minutes ago.”

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), angst, situationship/ exes with benefits

summary: You have an on-and-off relationship with Joel, and have for quite a while. What happens when he shows up one last time? Will it really be the last?

word count: 2548

author’s note: hiii here is the 6th request for my 2k celebration!! sorry it's so late >.< I hope everyone enjoys!! I barely proof read so I'm sorry if it flows weird

masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here | 2k celebration prompts here | request a prompt here or in my asks.

“And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again. You can tell me how vile I already know that I am.”

You always told yourself you’d never overstep for a man, even after the world quite literally went to hell. No matter what, you stood by that rule you set for yourself. Until you met Joel. You find yourself back with him a lot despite your rule, and you’ve chalked it up to a form of self-harm. Yeah, you had your issues, everyone did nowadays, but you went through a lot before the end of the world. You had your reasons for clinging to someone who gave you a little bit of light in the never-ending darkness. And Joel was that light, as much as you hated it.

And boy, do you hate it. Because he never knows what he wants when it comes to anything. It frustrates you to no end. The two of you were seriously dating for two years until he started acting weird. Tommy, Joel’s brother, had left the Boston QZ, and you figured Joel was acting oddly because of it. But as time went on, Joel became preoccupied, it seemed. And then you found out about Tess. She was someone Joel worked with in trading, and you never thought much about her until you heard whispers amongst people about them being together. After stewing about it and deciding whether or not to bring it up with Joel, you choose to mention it to him to see how he would react.

You remember a pressed look crossed his face before he flatly told you they were sleeping together. Two years together, and for what? For a sudden lack of communication, cheating, lying, and not talking to you at all? You wondered what she had that you didn’t for a long time. But you realized it wasn’t her; it was Joel. He had his problems that you just couldn’t solve. You broke up with Joel, of course, but not long after, you got back together. But you couldn’t trust him like you used to. He was still sneaky and reserved, and you couldn’t take it anymore, so you broke it off again. Then came the rendezvous. You and Joel would sleep together every other week with no strings attached. Most of the time, neither of you would speak a word to the other. But it got to the point that it was unhealthy, and you had to stop it. Now, you just pass each other in the street with shifty eyes. After knowing each other for years, you now don’t speak a word to one another.

But today, it was more of a longing glance that was shared between the two of you. You were in line to sign up for next week’s work when Joel was walking out of the front of the line. His eyes meet yours, and you almost look away, but his eyes burn into you. After a minute of staring, you tear your gaze away and let your eyes focus on the ground below you. When you look up again, very hesitantly, Joel is gone.

When you return to your makeshift apartment, you let your body fall into your old, dusty couch. As you tiredly stare at the opposing wall, you sit there, sinking into the cushions. You tried not to, but you thought about Joel a lot. What life would’ve been like if you had stayed together. What life would've been like if you had met before the apocalypse. You’re torn from your thoughts when there’s a knock at your door. You sit on your couch very still for a moment before cautiously getting up. Quietly, you step on the firm floorboards that don’t squeak to approach the door. You weren’t expecting anyone; very few people know you live here. You grab the shotgun that’s in the corner by the door, looking through the peephole. You see a figure through the scratches and blurriness of the peephole, but they’re turned away.

“Who’s there?” you mutter through the door.

“It’s me,” the person says with a sigh.

“It’s who?” you snap, “I can’t see you.”

“Joel,” the person says, now facing the peephole.

You relax, pulling away from the old metal door.

“What do you want?” you ask, still clutching the gun.

“I wanted to talk.”

“About?”

“If you open the door, maybe you’ll find out.”

You’re silent for a minute before answering, “What if I don’t want to open the door?”

“I’d understand if you didn’t.”

You sigh, weighing your options. A part of you doesn’t want to bother with Joel, but another part of you is curious as to what he wants to talk about.

“Alright,” you say, unlocking the numerous locks on the door and opening it slowly.

You step aside and let Joel enter your apartment, his hands stuffed in his jeans pockets.

“Were you really about to use that?’ Joel motions to your shotgun, a slight smirk on his face.

“Yes,” you say, rolling your eyes, “I didn’t know who was at the door.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t shoot me on the spot even after seeing me,” Joel jokes.

“You and me both,” you scoff, sitting the gun back in its spot in the corner.

Joel falls silent after your response to his little joke, clearing his throat as you return to the couch. A cloud of dust shoots out of it as you slam yourself into the cushions again.

“So,” you wave away the dust, “What did you wanna talk about?”

Joel crosses his arms, “After seeing you earlier, I felt like we left things on the wrong foot.”

You hold back a surprised laugh and nod, crossing your arms as well, “Yeah. Go on.”

“And I know you probably think I’m an awful person. And I’ll be the first to admit that I am,” Joel says, still standing in the middle of the room.

“Uh-huh,” you say, pressing him to continue, still trying not to laugh.

“But I’m sorry. For not treating you well and being a dick.”

You don’t respond momentarily before blurting out, “Are you dying or something?”

“What?” Joel asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

You pat the spot next to you on the couch, “Seriously. Why are you apologizing for stuff?”

Joel hesitantly removes his jacket and sits beside you, “No, I’m not dying. But I am leaving.”

“Leaving?” you ask, confused.

“I’m going out West to look for Tommy,” Joel says.

“Oh,” you say, rubbing your arm awkwardly.

You aren’t sure how to feel right now. You appreciate that Joel didn’t just up and leave without telling you where he went because you definitely would’ve worried yourself to death. But you don’t know whether to feel sad or happy for him for getting out of this place.

“I just wanted to tell you,” Joel turns to you, his face a few inches from yours.

You’re still leaning back into the couch as he sits forward, his arms resting on his thighs. The room is quiet, and you turn over his words in your head, trying to come up with a response.

“Thank you for telling me,” you whisper, blinking at the wall before you. It has an old picture from the previous owners hanging on it. It’s covered in dust that you don’t bother to wipe off anymore.

“No problem,” Joel says just as quietly.

He is still turned to you, and you reluctantly move your gaze to him to see what his face looks like. His eyes are fixated on your knees, but he glances up and notices you staring at him. He holds your attention, leaning in slightly. Joel is now hovering over you, slowly putting his left hand on the other side of your lap. His body traps you into the couch as you allow him to lean into your lips. They graze yours softly, asking for permission. You nudge his nose with yours to allow him to press his lips against yours, and the air shifts. You know you shouldn’t, but this time is different. It could possibly be the last time. Joel kisses you softly at first, carding a hand through your hair as you melt into the couch. Suddenly, he grabs hold of your hips with both hands, pulling you onto his lap. You let out a small yelp at the quick movement before Joel interrupted your exclamation by kissing you again. He keeps his hands on your hips, his fingers massaging the skin that revealed itself from under your shirt when he moved you.

You lightly run your tongue across Joel’s bottom lip, nipping at it and trying your best to get him to open his mouth up for you. He obliges finally, but not before he takes the reins. He smartly controls your tongue with his, heavily breathing through his nose as the kiss becomes even more heated. You wiggle your hips slightly against Joel’s lap, trying to get a little bit of friction. His grip on you tightens when your core presses against his at a delicious angle. You moan into Joel’s mouth quietly, which drives him crazy. He wants to hear you moan louder. So, he sneaks his hands up from your hips under your shirt and to your breasts, giving them a harsh squeeze. A whimper leaves your mouth as you grind your hips against Joel harder than before. Before you can react, Joel moves you off his lap back onto the couch, and he moves to the floor onto his knees in front of you. He moves his hands to the fly of your jeans, deftly unbuttoning and unzipping them before pulling them down your legs.

You feel dizzy with the whirlwind of everything happening so quickly, but your heart is racing in your chest in a good way, and you grow wet at the sight of Joel on his knees for you. He kisses and bites at your thighs, avoiding the area where you need him most. You squirm as his stubble tickles your delicate skin, and he spreads his hands on your thighs, pressing his palms down to keep your legs still. Joel’s breath hits your clothed core, sending chills up your body. He moves one of his hands to run a finger up your slit, a smirk growing on his face from the dampness that appears on your underwear.

“Who’s got you this wet, hmm?” he hums, sinking his teeth into your thigh, making eye contact with you through his lashes.

“You,” you say shakily, putting your hand in Joel’s hair.

“Good,” he says, pulling the middle of your underwear from you and letting it snap back into place, eliciting a whine from you.

Joel peels your underwear off you, slowly gliding them down your legs before tossing them somewhere beside him. He carefully licks a stripe up your wet folds, gathering spit and arousal with his tongue before circling it around your clit and sucking it once before pulling away. Joel all but gawks at the sight of you, all wet for him and only him. One thing he loved about sex with you was how soaked he could get you. Joel laps at you, the sound of your wetness the only sound in the room other than your shaky breaths. Joel rests your calves on his shoulders, allowing him to shove his face closer into you. He sticks his tongue inside you as far as you’ll allow, licking around and twisting his tongue in languid movements. A cry escapes your lips at the feeling of his index and middle finger pinching at your clit as his tongue fucks you.

“You taste so good,” Joel groans, pulling back from you momentarily before delving right back in without mercy.

His fingers dig into your calf and shin muscles as he sucks and licks you up. You bite your lip to not moan too loudly for others in the building to hear. You grasp at your breasts through your shirt as Joel assaults your clit with his tongue and lips, sucking at it harshly. The feeling causes electricity to spread through your body as a familiar warmth stirs in the pit of your stomach. Your fingers in Joel’s hair curl and pull as a warning, and he continues his rhythm of nipping and sucking your clit between his teeth and tongue. One particular roll of it suddenly sends you over the edge, and you’re writhing around on the couch as you all but gush all over Joel’s face.

“Sorry,” you say shyly, trying to catch your breath as you watch Joel wipe his face with his jacket.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Joel shakes his head.

“Do you want me to?” you ask, motioning toward his bulge.

“No, it’s fine,” Joel waves a hand at you, putting his jacket back on.

“You’re acting weird,” you say without thinking.

“How so?” Joel pauses.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Joel says, “I just have to go.”

You figure he had something to do. He always does, but why come here for a goodbye and a quickie and suddenly leave? This was probably the last time you’d see Joel again, and he’s just abruptly leaving after giving you an earth-shattering orgasm.

“So fast?” you ask, fumbling for your underwear and jeans from the floor, “You just got here.”

Joel stands up straight, wordlessly looking at you the way he does when he’s trying to reiterate his point. You purse your lips and glared at him.

“This could be the last time we see each other, Joel. Please stay for a little while longer instead of just fucking me and leaving like always.”

“Please, don’t make this worse than it already is.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him, “What are you talking about?”

“Yes, this could be the last time we ever see each other again. And I don’t want to drag it out because it hurts,” Joel looks down at the floor, unable to look you in the eye.

“Are you sure that’s why you’re acting this way?” you say. You have a feeling there’s something more.

“I’m not acting any sort of way,” Joel says coldly.

“Don’t act innocent when we both know where your mouth was two minutes ago. Either I did or said something, or you’re hiding something from me.”

“I love you,” Joel spits.

You physically react, leaning back into the couch. You cross your arms, “That’s not fair, Joel.”

“I know it isn’t fair. That’s why I’m upset. Because I love you, and I fucked up, and now I’m leaving.”

You stay quiet, looking him in the eyes. You take a deep breath, “I love you too.”

You stand up from the dusty couch, taking a few steps to be directly in front of Joel. You tentatively wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder. He wraps his arms around your waist, squeezing you tightly to his body like he’s afraid you’ll disappear forever if he lets go. But he has to. He has to let go. And so do you.

So you do. And after that, you don’t see Joel again. But you know he’s probably taking good care of himself wherever he is and that he found Tommy. Not a day goes by when you don’t think about him in some fashion. But eventually, you let go completely.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us show #tlou fic #tlou #floralcyanide writes #floralcyanide 2k celebration #angst

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treblrebl · 6 months

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Charting the Course of B&B Part 2 - The Journey

Continuing the rather ridiculous effort to graphically summarize the B&B relationship trajectory, this instalment focuses on the agonizing journey between feelings realization, and relationship initiation, viz. Seasons 5 and 6.

Note: The Y-axis follows a simple 0-100 progression. The categories at each milestone are plotted relative to each other against a range of 0 to 100 points. Entirely subjective.

Season 5: Keyword - 'Devotion'

The season where everything changes. This is where Booth has his blinders forcibly yanked off, and where Brennan can no longer compartmentalize the depth of her feelings. Through all the tenderness, the pining and the utter devastation which the two of them go through this season, one thing remains constant. They are absolutely devoted to each other's happiness over anything else, including their own.

I have changed the parameters for this season's graph to mirror the changes in the B&B dynamic itself. Attraction and trust already reached their peak. Feelings on the other hand have deepened into serious romantic love. With that however, come the opposing forces of hope and fear. And that's what the chart below depicts.

Representation:

Milestones considered:

S5-E1: "He sees the truth of you, and is dazzled by it." - Booth can finally acknowledge to himself that he loves Brennan. There's hope for a new beginning, tempered by the very real fear that the surgery and coma have changed Booth somehow. The 'attagirl' backtracking is frustrating, but at that point, the right thing to do.

S5-E5: "What goes on between us, should just be ours." - Iconic for a reason. This is Booth firmly creating a space which is just for the two of them. This is a possible pivot point - where I believe if either of them had the courage to declare, they would have started a romance much earlier.

S5-E7: "I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help Booth." Self-explanatory. Nobody notices the little things about Booth the way Brennan does. At this point Booth has patience, and hope. His marksmanship test at the end is another possible pivot point.

S5-E8: "He's big and strong, but he needs someone." - Ah, Hank. Cutting to the heart of the matter. I believe this is the point at which Brennan begins to truly fear the depth of her feelings for Booth, and how far she will go for him.

S5-E12: "I will never forget what you did for him." - Case in point, how far Brennan is willing to go for him. And vice-versa - single-handedly breaking into a lab under Secret Service lockdown isn't something Booth does every day.

S5-E16: "I don't have your kind of open heart!" - Where all our hearts shattered. However, contrary to popular theory, I don't believe this is where Booth gave up.

S5-E19: "Then, in ignorance, I await my own surprise. Although the odds of it involving a commitment to another person are remote." - As much as I hate the trope of using jealousy to make a character recognize her feelings, I think this is where Brennan realizes the fact that the reality of Booth moving on is very different to the concept of it. Even here, I don't think Booth had lost hope. Brennan is more interested in his dates with Catherine than he is.

S5-E21: "Maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I'm involved with now." - Ouch. THIS is the beginning of Booth giving up on Brennan. Till now despite the rejection, Booth hasn't once stepped back in his devotion to Brennan. He ignored his heartbreak to give her the prom dance she wanted, he used his witch wishes for her happiness, in whatever form that may take, and he let go of his own trauma to help her get justice. But Brennan is pulling away, she says she can't deal with the deaths and murders any more. Her fear is at it's apex, and she can't see clearly. But to Booth, it looks like an ending.

S5-E22: "No, things have to change." - Yep, that's Booth's hope in a tailspin. Brennan needs a pause, a break, some distance to evaluate her mental state. But she can't communicate it the way she wants to, and Booth is too close to the issue to be able to see things from the right perspective. What she saw as an opportunity for a pause, he sees as her signal telling him he must move on. Crossed signals leads to a year and half of torment.

Season 6: Keyword - 'Inner Demons'

The BIG, notorious, controversial one. You either love this season or despise it. I love it. The character arcs for both of them are spectacular. They both face their worst demons and hit rock bottom, yet manage to climb their way out. Plus, in contrast to their usual dynamic, here Brennan is the one who is a rock to Booth through her own turmoil.

Almost every single episode in this season has a milestone. So much so that I have to use 2 graphs to chart out the course of this season. The first graph uses love, emotional distance and internal torment as parameters, whereas for the second graph we return to hope and fear, with the addition of anger.

It has to be noted that I have plotted each parameter as a composite of Booth's and Brennan's, even though at many points they are at absolute opposite ends of the scale.

Representation (A):

Milestones considered:

S6-E1: The return. Booth is distant, Brennan feels displaced. She's at a much healthier mental space now, but I don't think she had yet found the courage to name what she feels for Booth. But the man in question has moved on. Or so we are led to think.

S6-E2: Enter Hannah. The magnitude of Hannah's decision to CHOOSE him over everything else to someone with Booth's history is a separate post in itself. Suffice to say, Hannah coming to DC changed things drastically. The emotional chasm between B&B widens.

S6-E3: "Booth will give himself to you completely." - Ouch. Brennan speaks from experience. But Hannah is moving in, and there's no space for Brennan.

S6-E5: "So basically, you just saved my life." - They're Booth and Brennan. Distance is slowly being erased. The wall that Booth erected in Afghanistan between him and his feelings for Brennan receives a solid blow thanks to what she did for Hannah.

S6-E7: "But you agree that love is an idiot?" - Oh Brennan. Who are you trying to convince?

S6-E8: "Parker thought I was cool when I did the cannonball into the pool. Do you remember that?" - Bren, you're breaking my heart.

S6-E9: God.

S6-E11: Gravedigger gets shot, all Brennan can think about is Booth. The shell, her smile. Booth's protective wall beginning to disintegrate.

S6-E12: "There's only one person you love the most." - Oh Booth. I don't envy you.

Representation (B):

Milestones considered:

S6-E13: "The evidence says that there's something wrong here." - Booth's anger is frightening, but most of it is directed towards himself. Whatever hope he regained in Afghanistan, he's lost it. He's afraid that love just isn't on the cards for him. Brennan however, is the one holding out hope this time.

S6-E14: " Happy Valentine's Day Massacre, Booth". - The first ray of sunlight from beyond the dark, forbidding clouds.

S6-E15: "I just don't like the idea that my partner thinks that me and Jacob Broadsky are in any way alike." - One step forward, two steps back. Booth's internal struggle with his past and his mentor's turn to the dark side are doing nothing to help dampen his ever present anger. Brennan stands strong in the face of it.

S6-E16: "A time may come when you are no longer angry, and I am strong enough. Maybe then we could try and be together."

S6-E18: "Just because you can explain something doesn't mean its explicable. Like us. We don't make any sense at all."

S6-E20: "I never told you how much it meant that you stayed with me."

S6-E22: Doesn't need any further elaborating except that the fear now is losing each other without having had each other.

S6-E23: "I'm pregnant. You're the father."

#bones tv #bonestv #booth x brennan #seeley booth #temperance brennan #why am i doing this #oh god this is long as hell

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centaurisolarflare · 1 year

Note

Very important question.

Will you do.

Crush hcs.

For Konig?

- desperate anon

You’re right, desperate anon, this is a matter of upmost importance. Of course I will, thank you for the ask!

- This man isn’t going to know what the hell to do with himself. König getting a crush has about the same disruption to his daily function as getting a legit brain disease.

- God fucking forbid you start flirting with him. Somehow you also having a crush on him would make him so much worse at handling his. He’s like a deer in headlights and someone may actually have to smack him on the back of the head to recalibrate him.

- He’s not used to having a crush, okay? He very rarely gets close enough to people to get attached, let alone for them to get wedged somewhere irremovable next to his heart.

- I feel like he wouldn’t really notice he’s got a crush formulating until its way too late to even try not to fall for you. He just sort of absently recognizes that he actually enjoys being around you – as opposed to most everyone else he knows – and there’s so many things about you that are interesting, and you’re kind and helpful and you can startle a laugh out of him so easily and oh shit, oh fuck, he has a crush????

- Once he does realize, he goes straight into panic mode about it. Do you know? Can anyone tell? He feels like everyone can tell how his face heats up under your attention, even when he has his hood on. Everyone has to know, God what if you’re just being polite by not telling him to get lost? There’s no way someone like you would even consider returning his affection. His anxiety flares up hard and he’s going to convince himself over and over again that you actually hate him and a thousand other equally unrealistic things. He’s absolutely horrified you’ll reject him, and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he just… doesn’t do a damned thing about his crush.

- That’s the other struggle of it too – this man falls hard. The amount of time it takes him to recognize his own feelings pretty much ensures that they’ve been long-lasting and real enough to mean he really, really likes you. He likes you, alright? He likes you. Even just thinking the stronger word is terrifying.

- So, in all this mess of nerves and self-doubt, König pulls away from you. He backs up, retreats on all fronts. If he isn’t around you, if you never find out how he feels, then this whole situation, the fluttering bird trapped in his chest, can’t hurt him, right? Right? He talks to you less; he spends less time with you. You’ve got to talk to him or otherwise confront him about it to snap him out of it. He’s still out of his mind worried and hyperaware of every single thing he does, but if you say you don’t want him to distance himself? If you’re upset that he has? He’s too devoted, and perhaps too selfish, to deny you.

- Speaking of, this man has Gomez Addams levels of devotion and admiration. He’ll do anything for you, and most of the time you don’t even have to ask. He’s bashful and mostly silent about it but his crush seeps through the gaps behind each favor, every insistence at being helpful, every kind gesture, every small gift given.

- Everything reminds him of you. Or maybe it’s just that he’s always thinking of you. Who’s to say. But he does, you’re on his mind nearly all the time. He doesn’t want to say he’s obsessive, but he’s definitely excited each time he learns something new about you.

- I think he’d really value your opinions. He loves knowing what you think of everything, and he treasures being someone you trust with your honest thoughts. I think he’d really be affected by noticing he can tell when you’re shaping your presence to deal with someone. Like your polite “I need you to clear these papers before our next mission” way of interacting with personnel on base. His heart aches for a bit when he’s startled at hearing you swap into your “costumer service voice” when you take a phone call. He isn’t as social as you, and he’s definitely not as socially graceful as you, so he doesn’t have many demeanors to swap into. But you do; you’ve got various outward ways of acting and speaking for dealing with situations in the way that gets you, and often your team as well, the most favorable result. He admires your ability to navigate being sociable like that. But right now… he knows, he can hear, how the voice you use with him is yours. You speak with him as yourself, wholly and entirely you. He can’t figure out what it is about it, but he holds the realization tight against his heart. Also, on a more trivial level, I think if you guys were out shopping for civvie clothes he’d definitely get something for himself purely because you said it looked good.

- Does he have family? Is he close with his family? I don’t fucking know, I’ve never played these games, sue me. But in my head, he grew up on a farm and he’s got fairly good relationships with his relatives. Sure, they bicker pointlessly sometimes, but they’re there for each other always. I think his family would be that specific kind of rural kind and willingly helpful vibe. The types where no matter what they’ll be like “oh I haven’t seen you in so long, it’s so lovely to see you, you’re too skinny! König haven’t you been feeding them? Skin and bones, you are, I can’t believe my son/brother/grandson/nephew/etc isn’t feeding you. I thought we rasied him better. Come, sit, I’ll make you schnitzel.” Anyhow, I think he’d start thinking about if you’d like his family way before he ever says anything about meeting them. Again, idfk, but in my head he’s really close with his grandma specifically, and it would mean the world to him if she approved of you and if you liked her. He knows she’ll like you though because he’s definitely told her about you when he’s been home on leave and then she bugs him all the time to bring you home and he’s like “Oma please, I’ve only just started dating them” and she just harumphs and grumbles about it.

-- Also, it literally does not matter how trained or involved in the military you are, you’re getting the shovel talk from several siblings and cousins. They’re very familiar with König’s anxiety and they know how much he likes you, which means they’re aware of how much damaging potential you have. They just want to make it known that they have access to a plethora of spots where no one will ever find your body; or, if they feel like being particularly thorough, a drove of pigs who will eat you, marrow and all.

I hope you see this and enjoy anon, I wish I could tag you directly. Thank you again for sending me an ask! <3

#anon asks #asks #my writing

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talaok · 2 years

Text

Steve can’t know(Chapter V)

Summary: Steve is your overly-protective older brother that is very opposed to you frequenting the wrong crowd, and especially to you dating Eddie Munson. Still, when you meet each other one day at lunch,it seems there is very little he can do to stop the inevitable.

Chapter summary: You and Eddie go on a date,but it doesn't exactly go as planned

Content warning: minor smut

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII

It was 2 pm and you had to leave in 1 hour. Eddie had told you to meet him at a picnic table in the woods, to which he had given you all the directions after you had informed him you had no idea where it was. He had offered to walk there with you, but you had refused, considering it too risky. You hated all of this secrecy, this running around, and you especially hated the fact that you had to keep lying to your brother, but you knew he wasn't going to approve and you weren't ready to give up what you had with Eddie just yet. Every time you were with him you felt alive and you forgot about everything else in your life. It was just you and him and nothing else mattered. It scared you a little, this feeling. You had never experienced it with anyone before. Sure, you had had a boyfriend or two, but nothing could have ever compared to this. Every time you had a thought, your brain would magically make it about him. You woke up in the morning wondering if he had heard his alarm or if he was gonna be late as always, and you went to sleep at night wishing he could have been there holding you. It scared you because you had no way of knowing whether he felt the same way, or if he would have laughed at you if he had found out about how you were feeling. And what scared you the most, was that you knew this wasn't supposed to be happening, and you knew that it could have never worked out, and you knew that it was wrong, and that he was a criminal, and that he was an outcast, and that Steve despised him, but what you knew the most was that you liked him, really liked him, and you weren't sure how you could ever stop feeling that way.

You got dressed, and since today was sunny you opted for a green skirt with a floral pattern to go with a simple white shirt. You wanted to look nice but not as if you had spent hours getting ready, it was just a date in the woods after all. You put a bit of mascara on and brushed your hair, that thankfully seemed to be collaborating, falling almost perfectly on your shoulders. After putting on your jacket and getting your bag, you got out of the room, closing the door behind you.

"Steve, I'm going out with Sarah" you lied, again. "Oh ok" he said not even looking away from the tv. You breathed a sigh of relief, starting towards the front door. "Wait, Y/N?" you heard him say, rushing to you from the couch, your heart started racing and you held your breath "Are you going to be home for dinner?" he asked. You let out a soft laugh "Yes, I think so" you said, going out the door.

"Are you smoking pot?" you asked, getting closer to him. You had finally found the table you were supposed to meet at. He was seated on the wooden bench with what looked and definitely smelled like a joint between his lips. He looked up to you and smiled, throwing the reefer on the ground and putting it out with his feet "Absolutely not, do I look like the type?" he joked, getting up to meet you. He smiled, looking at you in the eyes while he intertwined his arms behind your back, pulling you close to him "You look really beautiful" he murmured before kissing you. This was a different kiss from the one had given you before, this was sweet and gentle and you liked it, liked the way it made you feel light, like you could have let yourself fall, and still, he would have supported you. "Thanks," You said, breaking the kiss"You don't look too bad yourself "you said smiling. He laughed softly "Why, thank you, m'lady, I wore my most precious clothes, just for you" he joked, letting go of you to allow you to get a better look at what he was wearing, which were black jeans that looked like they had been worn way too many times, and a t-shirt with black sleeves and the writing "Hellfire club" plastered on its center just above the image of what looked like a devil. "Hellfire club?" you asked curious, raising an eyebrow "Yes, it's a club where we play D&D" he explained, going back to sitting in his previous spot."Who's we?" You asked, even more curious now "Just me and some people from school" he said gesturing for you to sit beside him. You did. "like who?" You asked, not wanting to give up on this, he turned to you as he bit down a smile "You are not gonna give this up, are you?" he asked, amused. "No way" you informed him "ok, well, like Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, and... Oh yeah, Dustin. How did you think I knew him?" he asked, you shrugged "huh, I guess I never really asked myself that" you said, resting your back on the table "That's cool though. The D&D stuff I mean. I have never played". He looked at you in shock and you couldn't help but giggle "You have never played?!" he asked, almost shouting. You started to laugh." Why!?" he continued, looking more and more appalled. You kept laughing while you reached out your hands to cover his mouth, he looked at you with wide eyes "Lower your voice" you whispered while pulling them off. "I'm sorry, sweetheart but that it's just unacceptable! I mean, how can you have never played the best thing to ever exist?!" he exclaimed waving his hands in the air. You smiled " Well, Eddie, if it's really that good, then I guess you are gonna have to make me try" you said, kissing his cheek "Well, now I have to" he said, calming down. You were both sitting with your back to the table, and you started admiring your surroundings. The trees were really tall and you couldn't even see through them, the sky looked painted because of how blue it was and, for a moment, you felt at peace, listening to the birds chirping and your heart beating while leaning your head on Eddie's shoulder. You felt his right hand come up to your head as he started to play with your hair, passing his hand through them while his other one came to rest on your thigh. You closed your eyes, savoring the moment completely. "Do you like this place?"You heard Eddie ask, bringing you back to reality. You opened your eyes back up "I do, it's really peaceful " you answered "Do you come here often?" you asked, "Well, sometimes. I usually come here to just clear my mind and by that, I definitely don't mean get high" he said sarcastically."Eddie!"You scolded him, playfully slapping his chest and leaving your hand there. He laughed "I like it when you say my name," he said in a low voice "Even though I like it more when you moan it" he whispered into your ear. You felt your cheeks redden as you bit your bottom lip. You raised your head to look up to him and were instantly met with a smug gaze. He was aware of the effect he had on you, that look was the ultimate proof. You rolled your eyes at him and, determined to get him a taste of his own medicine, climbed on his lap, positioning your legs on his sides. "Well" You said intertwining your arms behind his neck "Then I guess you are in luck. Because I too, happen to like moaning your name" you leaned closer to his face, his lips almost touching yours "a lot" you said slowly, earning a low groan from him. You smirked, proud of yourself and he immediately leaned forward, kissing you hungrily, almost aggressively, gripping the back of your head with his right hand and letting his other one roam free on your whole body, with particular attention to your backside. You moaned as he started to kiss you down your neck while the hand he had in your hair trailed down your body and up your shirt, making you shiver. You felt his hot breath on your neck as he smiled "What have i done to deserve this?" he said to himself before starting to suck your neck in the spot right under your ear. You bit your lip holding back a moan while you felt his hand find your breasts and start to caress them."Wait Eddie" you said scarcely "You can't give me another hickey, it was a nightmare having to hide the other one", you felt him stop and he looked at you with a malicious grin "Well then I guess I'm gonna have to give it to you where Steve can't see" He said, moving the hand that was on your back, up your shirt with the other one, while he went back to kissing you hungrily. He started raising the fabric when you heard a voice coming from your right "Eddie? Eddie is that you?" you widened your eyes, breaking the kiss and you felt Eddie stop what he was doing "I'm gonna kill that little shit"You heard him whisper, putting his forehead on your chest in exasperation while removing his hands from under your shirt. "Hey Eddie, what are you doing here?" you heard again the same voice. You turned your head and were met with the sight of Dustin smiling widely "I don't know if you have eyes, but I'm kind of busy right now" he said not even trying to hide his annoyance, gesturing to you, still in his lap, frozen from the fear."Oh, my bad" Dustin said, like he hadn't even noticed you there before "Wait, is that you Y/N?" he said confused," But... didn't Steve say that you couldn't touch her?" he asked turning to Eddie. You turned white and awkwardly climbed down him, snapping back into reality "Yeah, about that" Eddie took control of the situation, seeing as you were in shock "He can't know" he said, "You cannot tell him, alright?" he told him. Dustin looked at him and smiled "Ok, don't worry, I'm really good at keeping secrets" he said with a wink "great, thanks"Eddie said waiting for him to go, but he didn't, he stood there. Eddie let out an exasperated sigh "go!" he yelled, annoyed, pointing towards the path in the woods "Oh, right! Well, goodbye" he said waving his hand while walking away. "I'm so sorry about him"Eddie immediately said, turning to you "don't worry though, he won't tell anyone, that kid basically worships me" he tried reassuring you. You didn't answer. "Hey," he said, stoking your cheek "it's nothing, I promise sweetheart" You turned to him, biting your lip with a worried face." I promise" he whispered, leaning closer to you before kissing you softly. You smiled at him "Thanks" you said softly before kissing him again, this time more slowly, showing him all of your appreciation, running your hands through his hair while he pulled you closer by the waist. "I need to go now" you said breaking the kiss. He pouted at you." I'm sorry Eddie, but I told Steve I would be home for dinner" you explained "fine" he said, putting a lock of your hair behind your ear" I'll see you tomorrow at school then, princess" he said, kissing you one last time with a hand on each side of your face.

#eddie munson smut #reader x eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #st eddie munson #stranger things season 4 #stranger things season four #stranger things x reader #stranger things #Smut #steve harrington #dustin henderson #steve and dustin

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calf-cover · 1 year

Text

I suddenly wanted to share some of my thoughts and headcannons. Maybe it's in the wake of the fact that the other day I was working on a Script Bible for my project, maybe I just need to unload. And the other day I came across alchemical illustrations that awakened long-standing associations in me. But the fact remains, meet:

The Mini-Analysis of the Alchemical Aspect of Alagadda (part 1)

We will walk through the Lords of Alagadda, as well as touch on the Ambassador - because yes, most likely even our favorite non-binary narcissistic maniac on louboutins can actually also be associated with alchemy. There will be both reflections on the possible meaning in the canon, and far-reaching headcannons, but I tried to differentiate them as much as possible.

Let's go! Commence with the Black Lord

*The second part is here*

Let's start in order. It is no longer a secret to anyone that each Lord represents a stage of Great Work. Regarding this, we can also find an interesting thing. Firstly, each alchemist had his own Great Work and described it with deviations from what we usually see on the very first page of wikipedia. Secondly, they were very fond of saying that the Great Work is not about matter, but about spirit and ascension to the divine, these are the stages through which a person passes on the way to perfection. I don't think, however, that it will be very useful for us to analyze, given the perverted nature of Alagadda. But there's no harm in trying, right?

The Black Lord, Wearer of the Mask of Anguish, personifies Nigredo. This is the first stage - decomposition and death. The descent to primordial chaos. Before starting work, it was necessary to dissolve the material, "turn it into water" (which we see in the abilities of the Lord!)

From a spiritual point of view, this is the overthrow of the old, the acceptance of the experience of death, which gives rise to the death of illusions. Therefore, it is designated by the Raven - a regular of the cemetery. Also its symbol is Saturn, the planet of material issues, mundanity and at the same time destruction.

And perhaps we know the most about this Lord. And he appears to us... as a very controversial personality. Our familiar Lord likes to destroy not only objects. He likes to destroy people's minds themselves, which he even often brags about. Every person has illusions that are simply necessary to help them survive and not go crazy. And, perhaps, based on the nature of his stage it is them that he puts an irreversible end to, then replacing them with whatever he wants. Also, considering his condition and exile, we can say that he himself "died", but was “reborn” and came into the form that we know now. And he feels just fine, which also corresponds to his nature - Nigredo's goal is to build something new, to be reborn from the ashes. Let's just be happy for him.

Also, his nature already gives us a lot of suspicions about the possible reasons for his exile. Maybe he destroyed some illusion that he should never have destroyed? Maybe it's the very essence of him? According to one of the stories, Allagadda must, with all its connection with death, deeply hate it and oppose it. Even (and even more so!) crows could become the object of burning hatred. And here is he - its actually embodiment, a fundamental reminder of the true nature of things...

But most of all I like the idea that he just got everyone terribly, because he was an asshole and torment the entire ruling staff lol.

My personal headcanon is a little deeper and goes back to the times when there were very few materials on Alagadda. In my interpretation, the expulsion of the Black Lord is the result of many factors, ranging from personal (considering that despite all their abilities, my Lords turned out to be very human), and ending with just complex processes and interference of forces from the outside. I want to pay attention to one detail. All my lords are almost monochrome, they zealously adhere to their colors - but their masks and their secretions are only white and black. We are all used to masks. But let's talk about the color of the liquids flowing off them. At first, black color of the liquid was originally a consequence of my ignorance. But later turned into one of the plot-forming elements and it became just a pity to cut it out. In fact, this laid the foundation for a large-scale arch, an arch of mystery about why the Lords are forced to endure burns of black poison and what is the meaning of this. So I'm even grateful to myself for this delusion!

Also an interesting detail is that my Black Lord wears an outfit entirely made of feathers, a hat topped with crow's feet, and severed crow wings are sewn on his belt. In my case, Allagadda hates ravens, and such an appearance conveys to him exactly the look of the executioner hung with trophies, linking him with his symbol without contradictions. Well, at least I hope so... And if you are afraid for one particular bird, then you are doing the right thing. Mask has never been merciful to someone who has done him a favor.

Also, my Black Lord is actually intersex on a par with the White Lord. It's just that the latter did not see the point in choosing any gender in which they could be talked about, which attracted much more attention and jokes from the Red Lord. They gets all the barbs, while the Black Lord, as a close relative, is actually the same. But if the Red Lord tries to prick him, he will lose all his piercing with the parts to which it is attached.

#scp headcanons #scp #SCP Foundation #scp fandom #Alagadda #scp 2264 #scp alagadda #lords of alagadda #black lord #long post #tw mentions of violence #tw gender confusion #tw mention of insults

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freebooter4ever · 11 months

Photo

So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.

If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.

It happens after.

You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.

Ok maybe a bad example.

The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.

I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.

The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.

A computer can't fucking do this.

Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?

I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.

In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.

And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)

#geno #doodles

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dirtytransmasc · 1 year

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I just want Neytiri to somehow see the recordings of spider being to tortured and how he was willing to die for them…and realize what a horrible person she is for how she’s treated him and for being willing to kill him. Like I just want some remorse from her

this post has 2 parts, they are not directly related, please heed both

I need Neytiri to realize she was wrong, to see spider was always her family in his heart, he would do anything for them, even give up his own life. I need her to realize it never mattered how she treated him, spider would always put himself in front of her and her kids.

I need her to come to the realization that spider deserved better, and I want her to be sorry, I want her and spider to have a scene were they come to an understanding with each other.

what I'm gonna say is not directed solely at you, its fandom wide, and its something that bugs me.

the language used for neytiri is a little too hostile, yes her treatment of spider was wrong, but it is a direct response to the horrific trauma she endured at the hands of humans. we can acknowledge she was a bad mother to him, but respect her as a person. this is especially true because she is a mirror image of what many indigenous people in real life have experienced.

all in all, there are 2 sides to every story, and neytiri is facing a bit to much hate and hostility for my liking. she is not a horrible person, she has severe trauma she was never allowed to heal from. its not any of spiders fault, but his presence was a direct trigger for her, and he lived in her home, played with her children, her mental health/ptsd has been taxed day in and day out. because of this, her behavior towards spider was wrong, but she is not evil or the antagonist. they are naturally opposed and she never should have been forced to raise him.

again, not to single you out, this is just an example of what I'm seeing way to much of to be comfortable.

#the way some of the spider/quaritch fandom treats neytiri bugs me a little #I think theres a little too much disconnect between the viewer and who neytiri is/what she ultimately represents #Acknowledging how spider was treated was wrong #can and should always coexist #with treating Neytiri with equal care/respect and viewing/understanding her as a victim just as much as spider is #anyway #back to the ask #I think building the bond between spider and neytiri is vital to the rest of the franchise #even if it's not a mother and son #I think neytiri's relationship with spider is synonymous with her trauma and view of humans #healing her bond with him means allowing herself to heal as well #spider socorro #miles socorro #miles spider socorro #neytiri #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar 2

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cherrys-side-bitch · 2 years

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𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 + 𝔾𝕣𝕚𝕞 𝕊𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕡𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤

Gn! Reader, Platonic

Note: I’m currently trying to get more headcanons out but Tumblr keeps resetting my drafts.

The Menace™ pt. 1

Never let this bitch have the remote

For his safety and everybody’s sanity...

He's pausing it a lot to talk and ask stupid little questions, specifically doing little pop quizzes, or turning up the volume to horrible volumes

And if he doesn't have the remote he's still a menace

Stealing/arguing over food, talking loudly, if the movie is too boring he’s on his phone doing something else, etc.

Fights over what movie they are watching

Needs to watch a horror movie to be interested in the movie. Not one of Sebek’s documentaries..

Although he has absolutely top tier commentary!

Sebek hates it and in all honesty, it would get annoying after a while but it’s funny

A menace but a funny menace yk

Says he’s gonna be the last one to sleep

He’s not…

Deuce has never been to a real sleepover, due to being a delinquent

He was so excited to go to a real sleepover for the first time

The closest he's even gotten go is movie night with his mother

Although isn’t the best choice, it is a good choice to give the remote to him. I mean he's certainly not the worst. But he might throw it at Ace if he gets too annoying…

He's attempting to get the remote from Ace/trying to get him to shut up, it’s not working

He is particularly discomfited by the romance scenes

Likely prefers comedies

The best option to give the remote to, he keeps the volume at the perfect level and adjusts it if needed

Keeps the others from fucking with the movie

He has two younger siblings, he’s had to deal with the chaotic family movie night more than once..

Even with that, he’s still very adamant that this is an unpleasant experience

And honestly, I don't blame him...

Actually trying to watch the movie no matter the genre

Calm for the most until Ace, Deuce, and Sebek start yelling at each other

Currently holding himself back from beating their asses

You can tell he is happy to have been invited with his tail wagging behind him but can't say I blame him for being pissy…

Like Epel, he prefers action movies

Similar to Deuce he is not nearly the worst choice to give the remote although, slightly better than Deuce

Was overjoyed with the idea of a sleepover at ramshackle, he's never one to miss out on an opportunity to get away from Pomefiore!

He finally gets to eat junk food and skip his 5+ minute long skin care routine Vil makes him do every night without getting yelled at.

Epel is most likely more interested in the drama going on around him

Enjoys the rowdy atmosphere as opposed to the prim and proper one of Pomefiore

He’s eating as many snacks as he can before he goes back to Pomefiore

Would smuggle some in if he wasn’t likely to get a full body search and bag search from Vil

Practically begging to be invited to another sleep over

As stated before he prefers action movies

Sebek is special..

Would 100% beat the shit out of Ace with the remote because he wouldn’t shut up during the movie, and he was tired of adjusting the volume constantly

Don’t give him the weapon, for Ace’s safety

Actually now that I think about it If Sebek get his hands on him he’s dead either way

Anyways-

Has never been to a sleepover unless it was with the others in the Diasomnia gang and he was probably tending to Malleus’ every need

Fucking simp

Mid-sleepover he started worrying about malleus until he was distracted by Yuu

Enjoys dramas and documentaries

Dramas specifically because he enjoys making fun of how fake the are with Yuu

100% hate watching it

The Menace™ pt.2

The cat, the myth, the legend

This little shit is starting fights around very corner he can

You better hope he doesn’t get bored of the movie because he’s either going to

Start shit or

Fall asleep

He’s literally just a cat they have two moods “calm” and “how dare you human”

Likes action movies

Although doesn’t usually pay attention to the movie, just starts trouble

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

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tinywitchgoblin · 8 days

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I just finish reading your whole masterlist and I’m so glad that this context exists to itch my clone wars fixation.

I was wondering if I could get a tbb ship? Thank you, thank you! :)

ENTP, 7w8, Ravenclaw

Pros: witty, clever, optimistic, curious, charismatic, observant, perceptive, funny, patient, reliable, organized, capable, still has inner child, forgiving, endearing

- Tends to always put others first, akin to an older sister like figure, not so much a mom. I believe in letting people have fun and make their own mistakes as opposed to stopping them, they’ll learn better that way.

- Really personal, I love getting to know people I’d like to think I’m easy to talk to!

- I believe that inherently everyone’s a good person!

- Extremely loyal friend, everyone makes mistakes but you’re a good friend if you see those people through their mistakes.

Cons: loud, snarky, can be deceptive, stubborn, impulsive, spreads myself thin a lot, moody, guarded, sneaky, secretive

- I might tend to lie, never about huge stuff, just small stuff usually to elicit entertainment or reactions.

- Too trusting always gives the benefit of the doubt, idk it’s hard for me to believe that anyone would do anything I wouldn’t.

- Quick to anger. Feels like there’s no lead up because I have a high capacity for patience, but also quicker to boil over and apologize.

- People pleaser so I have a hard time saying “no” to things. Gets me into a lot of situations I don’t want to be in.

- Will tease/poke fun of people, never in a mean spirited way but may come off rude??

- While I like getting to know people, I hate when they try to get to know me below the surface. Huge fear of intimacy.

Looks: face has ingenue essence, small in all aspects (but mentally I think I’m like 6’8”)

Love language (giving): Acts of service and quality time

- Bashful when I TRULY like someone! I flirt by being extra mean/snarky.

- I’ve been told I’m UNINTENTIONALLY flirty, I just like talking to people.

- Love/relationships = growth imo. You should always strive to be growing with each other. No one’s ever a perfect match for anyone, it’s your willingness to compromise, learn, and grow that turns you into that “special someone”.

Likes: music (all genres; currently into bebop jazz), reading, traveling/exploring, group settings, planning, skincare, sunshine, summer, fishing, stationery, arcades (love prize machines/games), naps.

Dislikes: super sensitive to tones of voice (don’t yell at me, I’ll cry), diverging from the plan, losing, being mad (I cry because I end up feeling bad for being mad at people), rain/snow, waking up, being rushed, social media.

Thanks for participating!

I ship you with...

Echo!

Something Echo never saw himself enjoying was fishing, but once you took him out one evening, it became one of his favorite activities. He loves when it's just you and him on the water, lines cast, your head laying on his shoulder. Even if neither of you catch anything, it's the quality time with his favorite person (you!) that matters the most to him. And when you do catch stuff, it can be brought back for one of his brothers to cook up and everyone can enjoy it!

Another favorite activity is going to arcades. Back when he was still with the 501st, he and the boys would go to arcades when they had shore leave and play those games to their hearts' content. He still gets a bittersweet feeling every time he walks in because it makes him miss his 501st brothers, but he still enjoys being with you... and thinking of all of the mischief you and Fives would'e gotten into. Y'all would've won all of the prizes if left unsupervised.

Echo always loves being with you, but he's especially grateful for you on the rough days. The days where he can't so much as walk by a mirror and feel revolted. The days he's in so much pain he can hardly get out of bed. The days his mind will not quiet down, reminding him of all the shit he's been through. When those days come, he knows he can rely on you. You're always willing to help him out, whether that be by making sure he eats/drinks enough, making sure his prosthetics are cared for, getting him pain meds, or just being there with him, you anchor him to reality. It's times like that where he realizes he would cross the galaxy, move planets, do anything and everything to show you even a fraction of the loce you show to him on a daily basis.

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this one, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog 💚 it may take a little bit, but I'll get to it eventually!

#the bad bois #the bad batch #echo x reader #echo bad batch #clone trooper echo #arc trooper echo #echo #tbb echo #echo tbb #echo the bad batch #star wars x reader

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madmunson · 2 years

Text

i wanna be yours

(The Freak, Eddie Munson pt.2)

word count: 11.9k

disclaimers: violence (fights), a LOT more smut than part one, cursing, unprotected sex, talk of drug use.

fem!reader x Eddie Munson.

click here for part one: https://madmunson.tumblr.com/post/688001059316285440/the-freak-eddy-munson

authors note: I just want to say thank you guys for all the support on part one! I immediately started typing this as soon as I could because of it, the support really helps overcome any writer’s block! This one is a little shorter, I’m sorry about that, but be sure to watch out for the next fanfics I write :) volume two comes out tomorrow!! i hope everybody has tissues :’) also sorry about the awkward spacing!! it was written on a third party app and tumble won’t let me edit it ;(

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

"You're on, Munson, but you should know I took track in middle school."

"Oh, I'm frightened." He chuckles. On three, the two of you ran as fast as you could to the top of the hill, him surprisingly beating you by a long shot. He was there one moment, and the next, you could see him in the distance of the dark night sky.

It was beautiful. The wind was bitter, but in the most calming way possible as you rushed through the breeze. At the end of the day, you realized just how happy he made you. And you never wanted this to change, despite the way everybody else seemed to feel about it.

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

Eddie definitely reached the top before you did, suffering an ultimate defeat he simply could not let you live down.

"Hey, guess what that means!" He laughs, folding over himself as he clenches for air.

"I owe ya one, Munson." You breathlessly let out. Your lungs felt like they were on fire, collapsing at the seems, and felt like they were in the lower crevasses of your feet opposed to in your upper stomach.

"'Owe ya one'," he laughs once more, still clenching his stomach. "Yeah, ya do!" He drops to the ground, laying on his back. He chuckles again as he catches his breath, closing his eyes as he faces the midnight sky and her stars. He looked so peaceful, and every time you felt lucky enough to glance at him you realized more each second how much you were falling for him. Part of you wanted to hate that, wanted to not feel so dependent on a man and let alone Eddie Munson. But the other part of you, the majority of you, knew you couldn't help it anymore. At this point, Chrissy knew, your parents knew, and it was a matter of hours before your parents stumbled in your room in the early dawn to come to the realization that you weren't in your room. And once they did that, both you and Eddie had targets on your back.

"What are we going to do?" You blurt, not even processing the question before it fell from your lips.

"Hm?" He responds, still catching his breath.

"Like, everybody is going to know, what about school? What about my parents? What about your family?"

"You're simply thinking too much into it," he states. You sit down next to where he's laying, before inevitably laying down by his legs. You sigh out loud, the thought of him handling everything so well was frustrating. You wanted to feel that way too, wanted to trust that everything would be okay, and especially wanted him to bring you that same comfort he seemed to compose so naturally. But now you were here. Soon, everybody in the school would know, your reputation that didn't care about before but now seemed to care about would be destroyed, your parents would kick you out the second they found you, and life was about to shift beyond your imagination, not to sound like an overdramatic teenager. You wanted to explain this to him, but couldn't even begin to find the words.

"I just don't know what to do," you begin crying. You didn't want to, but once you started, you couldn't necessarily stop. Tears streamed consistently, warmness filled your cheeks, and the immense pressure became far too much to handle. You place your knees to your chin, and rest your face in the bends of your knees and continue.

"Hey, sweetheart, vent to me, I hate this sight," He empathetically whines, sitting up and moving closer to you. He wraps his arm around you.

"I just don't know what to do,"

"Y/N, baby, if it comes to it, you'll live with me, okay? We'll have little dates every single night, watch movies, I'll even let you wear my Hellfire Club shirt. WAIT! And fuck the cheer squad, now that I think about it, you could join the Hellfire Club!" He sounded enlightened, and pulled you closer, "see! It's all going to be okay. Fuck your parents, the cheer squad, and your parents. I will take care of you,"

"Mhm."

"I'm serious, hey," he pauses and lifts your chin, wiping your tears with his thumb, "I most certainly got you into this, I won't let you go through this alone. You remember what I said before our fight in the gym?"

"No," you continued crying upon staring into his caring eyes.

"And that's okay, but I told you to let it all out, because I could recognize you needed it."

"I remember,"

Good, because I can recognize that in you now. There's a field of woods over there," he points at the field of crowded trees, "I want you to yell, and run as fast as you can." You laugh, but he pouts in response. "I'm serious! It sounds silly, I know, but it's going to help. I'll give you five minutes, and I'll run in after you, how's that sound?"

"Dumb,"

"Do it,"

"Eddie, no, that's so-"

"Do it."

"Eddie, seriously, stop I'm okay, I just-"

"Y/N, I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, come on,"

"NO!"

"YES! DO IT!" He yells. Upon dealing with him, you realized just how much you'd try anything if it was promised to work, no matter how silly or dumb this idea was.

"Fuck it! Fine!" You scream, and run as fast as you can the opposite direction. You sped down the hill, wind rustling through your hair as you rush through the thick breeze. Everything around you seemed to go silent, you heard absolutely nothing besides Eddie screaming behind you to go faster, and somehow you had it in you enough to keep going.

"I don't understand why everybody hates you," you say out loud, still running, but at a decreased speed so you could talk and vent amongst yourself,

"I hate them, I hate you." You continue.

"But I don't hate you, you treat me like you can actually see me, like you can actually hear me," You smack through the trees of the once crowded forest of trees that now seemed so dull and empty running as you ran through them.

"I can't believe I'm saying it, but I am so infatuated by you, Munson."

You finally stop, fall to the ground, and continue crying.

"THIS ISN'T FUCKING FAIR!" You scream as loud as you could. Eddie was quick to follow, fully waiting his five-minute rule.

"Did it help?" He abruptly asks.

"Fuck you," You pant.

"Is fuck you the new thank you? If so, fuck you too, Y/N!" He chuckles, sitting next to you. He didn't seem like he knew what to possibly say, as he sat next to you just staring at you breathe.

"Eddie, I can tell you don't know what to say to me right now, so I'll say it first, but I'm falling for you," You blurt. "You're the only one who makes me feel heard here, and if shit does go down the way I expect it to, I appreciate all the efforts you're willing to do for me."

"Thank you, Y/N, that's all I've wanted to do from the beginning," he lets out a sigh of relief.

"Everything they said about you isn't true, Munson,"

"I know, and I've heard that before,"

"From Chrissy, right? Look she's just a bitch, I'm sorry she-"

"No, not only her. It's everybody that comes this close to me, Y/N. I just don't want you to turn into something like that, somebody that hates me and continues to spread that false narrative."

"I would never, it's me and you now, Munson." You reassure him, you felt terrible for ever believing those rumors. And you knew why he didn't fight back, why he only worsened the narrative on his own. He reminded you of yourself, you've seen kids start rumors for all kinds of things, including those made upon yourself. You'd never admit that to him, though, it was just too hard to accept, which is probably why Eddie didn't care to fight back anymore. You wanted to tell him not to lose that fight, to keep pushing even though it's hard, those rumors will subside, but you didn't know how to word it for somebody like him. The thing about Eddie is, he knows how to hold his own weight. Ever since you've started there, you've seen him stand on tables, yell at kids, overall scare people that had the unusual opportunity of being around him. He was a haunted house, or a haunted attraction, people were terrified of him, but couldn't keep his name out of their mouths. It made you envious of him, how could he maintain that strong persona with all that going around? You just cried about your reputation being ruined, over the same guy, and he didn't even seem phased. He was showing his soft side to you, and you knew that meant he cared about you, even if he didn't say it. He didn't have to.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Thank you, princess. Now, I believe I'm owed something, no?"

"Jesus christ, you have a high libido,"

"Only for you, my love," He chuckles. You smile at him, and put your palm on his chest.

"Then you need to lay back, 'no'?" You mocked him, taking your palm to push him on his back.

"Jesus, Y/N, that was so hot,"

"Good, because I work better in silence," You shush him, placing your index finger over his mouth with your right hand as you unbuckle his belt with the left. "If it starts to feel too good, bite your lip, silence yourself." He smirks underneath you, staring at you so infatuatedly. He looked so helpless, inevitably turning you on more. The sparkle in his eyes spoke for itself. You continued, moving your right hand to shift the entirety of your focus on his waistline.

You pull his belt off with one swift motion, his erection springs as you inch his denim down to his ankles before taking care of his boxers. You pull his boxers down to his thighs, then down to his ankles, pairing with the jeans you just took care of. You look up at him once more, smiling at him as you place your lips around his cock. He gasps, but you shoot him a look to keep him in place, and he silently agrees as he places his hand over his mouth. You begin bobbing your head, shifting your focus entirely on his erection.

Eddie sits up, watching you, hand still placed over his mouth. Suddenly you could feel yourself inching your tongue along the vein of his cock as you sucked him off, sheering away from gagging as you bounced your throat upon the tip. You brought in your right hand as you went back up, placing it along the base and slowly jerking upward with a twist. You smile at him from the bottom, darting your eyes to your eyebrows to make eye contact with the man sitting across from you, the man who who was currently fit inside your mouth. You continued, fastening your pace as his eyes roll back, and he goes to the pose you had him in laying down. He moaned against his own palm, twitching and aching beneath you as you continued to become faster with your wrist and lips.

You move your hand, and continue the fast motion with your mouth and tongue. He begins shifting beneath you further, his cock twitching as he fills your throat with a loud moan. He moves his palm, and finishes, moaning your name as he throws his head back.

"Jesus, Y/N," he breathlessly pants. He looked so helpless, it turned you on.

"Yeah, how quick can you get it back up?" You smirk.

"Still hard now, hop on," He giggles, taking your legs and straddling himself. You laugh with him, placing his cock at your entrance.

"Sure you want this, Munson? I can get messy," you whisper. He nods frantically, and laughs, before begging you to continue. You weren't always this dominant, but Eddie brought something out in you. You place your core over his cock, grinding your hips a little before slipping it in. He moans beneath you, eyes closed as he does so. You continue, fastening the rocks as you go.

"Y/N,"

"Yeah?" You moan in response.

"If you don't fuck me, I'm gonna cum on you."

"Maybe I want that," you wink.

You finally push his cock into your wet core, gasping at the sensation. You go slow at first, lifting your hips as you push yourself forward. You slowly spell words and create patterns with your hips, leveling down so your clit could feel upon him for additional stimulation. You pick up the pace once more, moaning his name as you grind.

"Eddie, fuck," you cry.

"Please, like that," he begs.

"I'm gonna finish-" you whine, finally feeling that same release around you as you do. The warmth around your core increases as the trees above you start to slowly spin, the stars shine as the pressure on your shoulders turns into nothing. You bend down, holding him closer as you continue, this time slower before picking up the motion.

"Finish for me," you demand. And he does, twitching and pulsing inside you as he shoots his load inside of you. You hop off of him, rolling over next to him. You both were out of breath, but you cuddle into his arm despite your lungs catching up with what your body couldn't handle.

The two of you lay the rest of the night out, staring at the stars and watching as the midnight sky fades to pastels. He tells you the whole time how much he cares about you, and for a hopeless romantic, it brought upon a feeling you could've never imagined. His arms felt like home, more than four walls and simple siding ever could, more than families or other surrounding people ever could. For once, you felt at complete ease. You thought you had reached a point of contentment at your previous high school, and maybe you did, but this was something beyond that. This was something beyond what Chrissy or the cheer squad could ever bring you. You told Eddie you were done with them, especially after what Chrissy did because she simply didn't agree with an action you did, and he agreed, as long as it made you happy. The two of you agreed on missing school the next day, and staying home to catch up on sleep and your new favorite sinful act.

Dawn brought a new sense of tiredness, the way the blush sky faded into the sapphire clouds created a water colored portrait. The two of you began drifting to sleep, holding each other as the painting consumed you.

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

You woke up not incomprehensible, forgetting you fell asleep in the grass of the woods behind the Hawkins hill. Eddie was awake, and seemed to be awake for maybe an hour or two.

"Why didn't you wake me?" You ask.

"Couldn't help it, you just looked like an angel. Like my angel."

"Are you asking me out, Eddie Munson?"

"Oh shit, was it obvious?" He chuckles, but nods, ""yes absolutely. What do you say? Will you be mine?"

"Of course," You sit up, embracing him as you place your lips upon his. This was more than sex, you could feel the passion with this kiss way more than you ever could with him inside you. "What time is it?"

"I don't have a watch, but my best guess is the afternoon. I could practically hear the school bell all the way from over here. Looks like we successfully skipped."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was thinking maybe we could celebrate?"

"When we get home!" You laugh, "I think we have a lot of shit to take care of right now,"

"Oh yeah, by now your parents have probably got the call that you skipped, right? I mean, they would've probably known since first period."

"If they didn't find out when I wasn't in my room this morning."

"Regardless, lets go take care of this, okay sweetheart?" He holds your face in his palms, tracing his thumb over your chin as he does so. You loved that he did that, the pet names, the thumb thing he did, everything just made you feel so infatuated beyond belief.

He grabs your hand, and leads you through the back of the woods, by where he parked his van by Skull Rock. You smiled, following him giddily as he did so. Finally, the two of you got to the van, upon your arrival you let out a sigh. You were a lot more nervous than you'd like to admit, you felt a pit in your stomach turn and twist at the thought of facing your parents, or worse, Chrissy. The two of you made a plan, you were going to go home and pack what you could, then you were going to move into Eddie's. You couldn't get over the thought that this had all happened in a matter of a week of moving to this town, as part of the infection this town placed. But you kind of adored the infection, the drama. This was more than anything that has happened in the almost eighteen years of your existence. And if your parents truly had a problem with it, it was their fault. They moved you here, they caused this.

The drive was silent, but approached quicker than you would have wanted. The walk you had made back to the house from school the day previous, felt like it had taken years. Nonetheless, he promised you he would be just outside of your trailer, just to make sure everything would go over smoothly. He did all that he could to try and ease you, try to convince you that everything would be okay, and you listened to him, without much relief.

"Here goes nothing," you say.

You enter your house to find your parents sitting in the same position they always do when they want to talk to you. You told Eddie to go home beforehand, despite the plan, because you knew how ugly it would get. You'd probably be by his house later, and he was okay with that possibility.

"Y/N, are you with Eddie Munson? The kid across the street we told you specifically not to hang out with? Chrissy called, and-" your dad started.

"You believe her? Come on," you laugh in response, "I was with her! It was a prank call!"

"I don't know, she sounded pretty serious." Your mom stated.

"Well, duh, wouldn't be a very good prank call if we were laughing." You smile, "seriously, don't have to worry about me hanging out with him."

"Okay. Fine, call Chrissy and talk to her then." Your dad requested. Shit. But you were in too deep, you knew you'd have to fake this one out. You walk over to the landline, and begin dialing her number.

"Hey Chrissy-"

Oh, my god, you were with him, weren't you? I didn't see his van, and didn't see you, you're lucky I didn't go inside and tell your parents! I will if you keep seeing him."

"No worries, I won't, I'm home safe. Didn't we prank call my parents earlier?"

"What? No, I called them and told them about Eddie. I'm worried Y/N."

"Right! That was so funny. Their reactions were priceless!"

"Y/N-"

"Yeah, sure, I'll come over!"

"You're coming over?"

"Yeah, come pick me up!"

"Okay-" and you hung up. You thought you staged that perfectly, and as did your parents, who seemed okay with the responses despite not knowing what Chrissy was actually saying. They warned you not to prank call like that again, that hanging out with Eddie wasn't a joke to them and shouldn't be to you, but you only half listened. You didn't have the time for the ignorance today. As for Chrissy picking you up, you knew you'd have to tell Eddie somehow. And without your family finding out. You knew it was time to get creative. You make up an excuse to go to your room, something about packing for Chrissy's, and they believe you, returning back to what they were doing prior to waiting for you to come home - your dad writing, and your mom cooking, the usual.

You speed off to your room, picking up one of your collectable rocks and a sharpie. You begin writing:

' going to Chrissy's. going to fix this.

- Y/N '

And you head to your open window, throwing the rock as close to his van as you could, lightly hitting the wheel. At least at this rate, he'd see it. You continue to quickly pack for Chrissy's, with some of the things she bought for you, before closing your window and exiting your room. Your parents were absolutely oblivious to anything going on, and Chrissy might've been too if you could manage to trick her the same way you had your parents.

Shortly after packing, Chrissy was there, honking her horn to let you know she arrived. You hugged your family, reassured their worries, and ran to her car. Eddie was standing by his van, holding the rock you had thrown at his wheel. He looked up at you, and nodded once quickly before reentering his own trailer.

"Y/N, where the hell have you been?"

"Please, just drive," you respond. And she does. The car ride to her house was silent, as you thought of a way to trick her into believing you the same way your parents did. You ahd the perfect excuse, the perfect timeline, all you had to do was wait to enter her house, and wait for her to start her lecture.

Finally, you arrive to her house. She rushes you to her room, and sits down on her bed across from the chair you claimed.

"So what was that about?"

"I had to tell my parents it was a prank call, because you decided to assume shit before talking to me." You state, irritation coursing your veins as you cross your arms.

"But it wasn't. You were with Eddie."

"Actually, I was not. I was sneaking out with a boy at Skull Rock. Same ginger kid I told you about. His name is Derrick," you lie.

"Derrick huh?" She wasn't going to believe it that easy though, "then what was Eddie talking about in the hallway? Why didn't you tell me about this Derrick? Is there even a ginger Derrick that goes to Hawkins?" Luckily the silence in the car prepared you for this exact situation, and you already knew what to say.

"One, I did talk to Eddie. That's what he was talking about. The freak tried to get in my pants, I shooed him away, hence why in the hallway he mentioned how I said I never wanted to speak to or see him ever again. Two, I didn't tell you about Derrick because I was using you as an excuse to sneak out and he was kind of pervy, I called it off at Skull Rock, didn't want you to meet some pervy boy. Three, yes. He's on the wrestling team." Again, all lies. You knew how much you had actually slept with Eddie.

"Truly, I'm at a loss for words. I'm so sorry about Derrick. Just promise me Eddie was just a one time thing, and I won't say anything to anybody, okay? You can keep your position on the cheer team, and this can all be behind us. How does that sound?" Absolutely perfect. You had managed to trick everybody around you. The only real way to sell this, though, was to cry.

"Of course, I promise, Chrissy. Thank you for always being understanding. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't know what to do," you sob. Chrissy seemed to believe it, too, telling you that Jay would take care of Derrick and everything would be okay. You sort of felt bad for this random kid on the wrestling team you seen in the yearbook who didn't even know you, but as long as it wasn't Eddie taking the beating, it all sort of seemed worth it. Chrissy hugged you, promising to take you to school in the morning and helping you make any excuses as to why you weren't there the day previous, as if she had any actual idea why you weren't. You didn't know what to do about Eddie, though, especially since telling him you were done with the cheer squad, and Chrissy.

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

Wanna be yours

Let me be your 'leccy meter

And I'll never run out

Let me be the portable heater

That you'll get cold without

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

The next day approached far too quickly, the alarm next to Chrissy's bed saying four in the morning. She loved waking up early, something about appearing her best for the day really got her rocks off, but now she had two people to worry about, meaning she would wake both of you up far earlier than when she awakened normally. She slicked back your hair in a high pony tail, and proceeded to do your makeup. She chose a bright blue eyeshadow to match a sky blue skirt she wanted you to wear, that was paired with a sky blue and white top that had a star pattern across it. She then did the rest of your makeup, masking your lack of sleep with a thin paste. She then gave you a pretty pair of sneakers to match your outfit, and then proceeded to do all the same things to herself. She told you she had wanted to match, something about really welcoming you into the cheer squad. You couldn't care less about any of this shit, just wanting to skim through your days with Eddie, but being forced into this lifestyle. You hated this, and you knew Eddie would too. Regardless of how hard she tried, this just simply was not you, and you only really felt like yourself around Eddie, he was the only person in your life ever to not try and change who you were to fit his agenda. He liked you for you. But you hardly had time to worry about that now, Chrissy was finally ready, which meant it was officially time for school.

Your stomach twisted with dread as you pulled up to Hawkins High, completely terrified of what would come next. Jay met up with Chrissy, and they automatically discussed your situation with "Derrick".

"The ginger kid on the wrestling team's name isn't Derrick though, it's Sam." Jay stated. Chrissy immediately flashed a look of betrayal at you as Jason spoke.

"He gave me a different name? Seriously, how pervy is this kid?" You started to cry once more. All those years of theater in your old middle school really played out. Chrissy immediately became sympathetic, holding you and reassuring you not to cry as it would ruin your makeup. Finally, you got both of them tricked, and Eddie wouldn't be the one taking that bullshit. Jason assured you that he'd find him, and take care of everything he put you through. Again, you started to feel awful, but reassured yourself that at least it wasn't Eddie.

The school bell rang, indicating it was time for first period, causing you and Chrissy to go your separate ways as usual. This was the class you had with Eddie, so of course worry struck you. But before you could enter your class, the tall boy discovered you, and asked you to skip with him to the gym.

"What the hell, Y/N, are you okay?"

"Yes, absolutely. Let's just say I got Chrissy and my parents off of our backs."

"Then why are you dressed like this? Skip with me to the gym."

"Long story, but okay! Wait for the hall to clear, then walk to the gym. I'll make my way there now." You of course agreed, and waited for the hallway to empty before continuing to the gym. Luckily, there wasn't a gym class first period ever. Apparently there used to be, but kids were failing out of tiredness so the school decided to drop it as a first hour for the school year, to see if that would help. Their study was so far so good, in your eyes, because this meant you and Eddie always had that time together, whenever you wanted. This was the perfect skipping spot for you and Eddie, you had came to realize. You walked to the gym, as quick as you could through the crowds of people trying to make it to their own first period classes, trying to avoid eye contact as you kept your head down. This worked, as you made it to the gym with only the final bell left to spare. Eddie arrived shortly after you, pulling the box of squares out of his pocket as he did so.

"Want one?" He asks, "you look like you need it."

"Because I do," you laugh, taking a cigarette from his hands as he lights it for you.

"So what's this all about?"

"I figured the perfect way for us to do this, without anybody saying anything, and without you getting a random beat up from Jason Carver."

"And that is?"

"We hide it. I told my parents it was a prank call, told Chrissy some kid from the wrestling team was a creep and that's why I didn't tell her, and boom! We're home free!" You take a drag of your cigarette.

"She didn't say anything about the hickeys?"

"Assumes it was from the pervy wrestling kid, Sam. Jason offered to kick his ass, so its not your ass. What do you say?"

"I say," he takes an even longer drag of the stick in between his index finger and middle finger, "as long as I'm your's, I don't care what we have to do."

"Perfect! Now what do you say we have some fun? We got the whole first hour to skip, you know?" You smirk, putting the cigarette out on the bleachers next to him. You approach him, and he smirks back, nodding once before embracing you in a passionate kiss. He proceeds to hold you pinned against the bleacher walls, kissing down your neck but making sure to not leave any marks. He makes his way back up to your lips, desperately attacking them as he pleases, your tongues meet for brief moments in between kisses. He had this charm to him, that made you only want him, something about Eddie was just so different.

He begins pressing up against you, lightly grinding as he still holds you, invading your mouth and the open space between the two of you any chance he could.

"Give me one reason why I should give you what you want, princess," he demands.

"Because I've been a good girl," you say, without even thinking. You didn't care what you said, or how you reacted, when you were like this. You ached for him in the worst places, throbbing underneath his touch. Not a single thought could process, and even if it could, you didn't want it to.

"Good job princess, but that's not what I'm looking for" He hisses.

"Because I'm all yours', Eddie Munson,"

"Good girl," With one quick motion, he takes his shirt off, exposing his bare chest you loved so much, before taking yours off as well. He continues the grinding motion, kissing up on wherever he pleases. You loved his touch, loved the way he kissed on you.

Finally, he bends down and slides down your underwear, lifting up your skirt. You begin begging for him, with swift mumbles, "Eddie, please" rolling from your tongue and spewing from your lips.

"As much as I hate this," he growls, "I love this fucking skirt." He begins unbuckling his belt, dropping his pants and boxers to his knees before lining himself with your entrance. He smiles at you once more, before immediately ramming his cock inside you, causing you to gasp and moan. He places his palm over your mouth, picking up his thrusts as he does so. He moves his hips at a rate to hit all of your sweetest spots, causing you to collapse under him and turn into the worst possible moaning mess underneath his palm. He continues, slowing down and speeding up whenever he chooses as a means to edge you. And it worked. You couldn't contain yourself anymore.

"Eddie, I'm so close," You bumble underneath his palm.

"Good, finish for me. You have my permission, princess," he demands once more. His wish was your command, because you could hardly hold yourself together anyway. The seems of yourself that we're once glued started to become undone, and fold over themselves, as you finish beneath him. You practically go limp as you finish on him, getting weak at the knees and melting beneath him. You ache for him, but he doesn't stop. He proceeds to fasten his thrusts, finishing in you before letting out a loud groan. He laughs, holding himself inside you for a moment longer as a way to try and contain himself once more. Afterwards, he pulls out with a quick "fuck, Y/N."

"Do you do this with all your girls?" You joke.

"Absolutely. every single one of them." He jokes back, taking a square out of the box after pulling up his pants and boxers. He holds one out to you, and you take it, holding it in your mouth as you pull up your underwear off the gym floor. He grabs your hand and walks you to the front of the bleachers, the blue steps leaning against the wall, He takes you to the top, and lays between the steps, one knee upright. You do the same, and he lights your cigarette for you.

"You know, I fell for you, even if we have to hide it for right now, you have me forever." He states.

"You fell for me?"

"Fuck off," he laughs, "yes. I wasn't expecting to, but I did, more than anything. All I want to do is protect you. I don't mind doing that from afar." He states. You sit up and grab his face, kissing him as a response before letting out a "thank you". Nobody ever made you feel like this before. You really, really cared about Eddie.

The two of you finished your cigarettes, and unfortunately parted ways with an ache in your heart.

"Until we meet again, princess," Eddie smiles, kissing your head. He walks away, checking back on you frequently as he does.

Now it was time to go to your meet up spot with Chrissy, before the bell rings and she begins to question everything again. You hated this. You absolutely despised yourself, and your family and so called "friends" for leaving Eddie in the dark like this. Nobody knew him the way you did, and yet they all hated him. You hid him, just out of fear of Chrissy and your family. It stood against everything you were, you believed people should openly love who they love, but you couldn't do anything besides hide it right now. The backlash he would face would be unruly, too, and you wanted to protect him just as much as he protects you. Which was a devastating fact. Watching him walk away only made you realize just how much you wanted to tell him to stay, tell him you'll figure it out another way, but you just couldn't. It really hurt you. Prior to your departure, the two of you agreed on stealing silent kisses in the hallway if you hid both of your faces, in between classes by masking your identity, at the start of all of your classes especially if it meant sneaking out of said classes, anything you could to hide your face but also be passionate with him, you'd take.

After you huff and puff enough to blow a mansion down over the fact that the two of you had to part ways, and after you finished moping over it, you walk back to her area. The bell lets out a loud ring to indicate first period ending. Chrissy rushes out of her classroom to you, with Jason in her arm. They always seemed so giddy to be around each other, the same way you and Eddie were, but nobody would accept you and Eddie the way they accepted Jason and Chrissy. It made you happy for them, but jealous and envious down to your core.

"Sam comes down this hallway after this period," Jason abruptly states.

"Woah, what?" You ask.

"I was thinking about it all first period. Told him to meet me after. I'm gonna go ape shit on his ass." He continues. You didn't even have time to process or respond before Sam "Derrick" entered the same halls as the three of you. You knew it was game time, so you pretended to hate the mere sight of him, despite only seeing him in the yearbook and forming a full storyline lie on the kid.

"Hey Sam! Or should I call you Derrick? Which gets your rocks off more?"

"Look man, I don't want any problems, I don't know who Derrick is-"

"Save it for somebody who doesn't know any better. But me? I do." He takes off his jacket and tosses it to Chrissy, who happily holds it close to her chest.

"Man, I don't want any trouble-" But before he can finish his sentence, Jason is already throwing punches at the kid, knocking him down before he even had a chance to stand up for himself, or fight back. He was on the wrestling team, and you knew he very well could beat Jason's ass, in the back of your mind you realized Jason probably knew that too, hence why he didn't give him a chance to fight back. Nonetheless, Jason was piled on top of this kid, absolutely knocking his lights out, yelling things like, "you stay away from Y/N", "stop being a weird douche to girls", "do you like this when it's done to you?" and more. He definitely didn't know the exact reason he was fighting Sam "Derrick", but he'd do anything for Chrissy, who would do anything for you. He continued to throw punches, drawing blood from several spots on his victim's face, before being separated by a teacher.

"Jason get off that boy right now!" The male teacher says. You didn't recognize him, but you assumed this had happened before, and this teacher was all too tired of breaking up petty fights. Jason spit on Sam, and then walked away with Chrissy and you under his arms, blood on his fists, "anything to protect my girls," he states. It grossed you out that he called you that, but glad this whole lie was finally over with. At least now, you could peacefully sneak away with Eddie any chance you could. Or at least so you thought.

Jason walked you and Chrissy to your classes as normal, and then went onto his own. Shortly after first period, he was called over the intercom and Chrissy would eventually tell you he was suspended. That didn't affect his basketball performance, though, because it was only in school suspension. Nobody was allowed to mess with Jason Carver's basketball performance. Rumor is, his parents had a ton of money, and threatened the school over his suspension claiming he was "simply doing the right thing" (yeah, because kicking some random kid's ass over a lie you told but weren't busted for was the perfect example of "the right thing".) Sam was suspended for a couple weeks, and threatened his wrestling scholarship, which of course made you feel awful. Luckily he kept his position, but rumors about the two of you spread by lunch, meaning it was almost unavoidable for him. You wanted to apologize, but realized that would only affect Eddie, and for some reason he meant more than the world to you. You'd never ruin anything for him.

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

Lunch time came around, and you were beyond excited to sneak out and see Eddie. You already had it planned out: you were gonna tell Chrissy and the cheer squad you needed to talk to a teacher, Eddie would wait ten to fifteen minutes (depending on how long they stared at him for, fifteen would be a safer measure), and the two of you would meet in the bathroom with the door that locked from the inside, on the other side of the school. It was the perfect plan because Jason wasn't there to prevent it, and because Chrissy would be too dumb to realize anything was up after fifteen minutes of your disappearance.

"Hey, I gotta bounce," you start, "English teacher wanted to talk to me during lunch."

"Ooohhh, somebody's in trouble!"

"Probably! I stayed home the other day," and skipped today. But you weren't actually in trouble, unless Munson decided so.

"Okay! Well just be careful, come back when you're done!" Chrissy smiles, hugging you before you exit the cafeteria. You make your way to the bathroom on the other side of the school, lock the door, and wait for your knight.

What feels like hours pass before you hear a series of knocks on the door, followed by a "princess?", and you allow him access inside. He smiles at you, his deep chestnut eyes staring into the heart that was plastered on your sleeve.

He watches you open the door, arm hovered on the doorframe, smiling at you as you open it.

"Oh, how I missed your sweet face,"

"I missed you so much, you have no idea," you smile, and he kisses your forehead, barely giving you the time to lock the door behind the two of you. You manage, now fully being locked in with Eddie Munson.

"How has your day been so far, sweetheart?" He asks. You sit on the counter of the bathroom and begin talking about everything, from Sam getting his ass kicked by your demand, to some kid gawking at you in third period. It felt so good to vent to him. The whole time, he stood in between your legs, playing with your hair as he listened.

"I've wanted you all day," you speak, without a second thought slipping your mind before doing so.

"Not more than I've wanted you, princess," he states back, before attacking your lips. This was exactly all you could ever want. He had your heart, even if he was far away from it. Falling for him felt so blissful, and almost hellish in the best ways possible. You knew you'd risk everything for him, the same as he would for you. There were too many things that came to mind when having the privilege of thinking about him in that light, you were overwhelmed every time you seen him, like your heart came to the hyper aware realization that you needed him always.

He began kissing your neck again, just like he had earlier that morning. This trick never failed to make you lose your mind and melt for him, his jaw leaning into those kisses he plastered onto your neck. He always had the best jawline. He held one hand above you, and the other pinning you against the wall, feeling against your body with his ring covered hand. You could feel the cold metal on the bare parts of your body, like your hips that separated your top from the skirt he loved so much. He began kissing down your body before taking off your shirt, and then lifting your skirt.

"I'll always love this sight," he preaches. He bends down, getting on his knees for you. He begins to lift one leg over his shoulder, and kiss in between your legs, and on your thighs. That was his favorite thing to do, watch the chills spread down your spine as he placed warm kisses on your inner thighs. You start to melt, those same chills returning to their designated position, hoping he decides to take off the barrier between the two of you. Without a second thought, he does, beginning to place small kisses on your core. You moan for him, intertwining your fingers with his curly mane. This gives him more motivation, as he proceeds to give all of your core the proper attention, letting his jaw take over as he multitasks with your clit. He proceeds to pick up his pace, attacking your core as he pleases so. You start to feel yourself build up all over again, the silence outside of your moans becoming more than intolerably deafening, the fire pit inside of your core about to rupture.

"Please, Eddie, I'm close,"

"Finish for me. Now, princess." He demands. And you do, your ears ringing at the mere thought of doing so. You finish onto his lips, and he continues to ride out the spasms you got from finishing before moving you to the bathroom sink.

He places you on top, and proceeds to grind as he sucks your nipples and kisses down your body. You fiddle with his buckle, before finally getting it undone, causing him to drop his pants and boxers to his knees once more. He places himself at your entrance, before pushing himself in without warning.

"Eddie, fuck!" you shout, gripping onto the sink below you. He chuckles to himself, going slow before ultimately picking up his pace.

"Fuck, you're so good at this," you groan. He continues, causing you to keep your grip on the sink, only tighter now. He has one hand over your throat, and the other wrapped around you to hold you in place, playing with your clit with his ringed thumb. You were so close, you could feel yourself drowning.

"Eddie, I'm gonna-" you couldn't even get out your sentence before moaning, and finishing beneath him. Everything felt that same hot, wet feeling again that you cherished so much. But he didn't seem satisfied with this.

"Did I say you could finish, doll?" He questions, stopping momentarily. "Bad girl." He tsks, speeding up and demanding you wait for him to tell you to again. You could barely compose yourself, your brain felt like it was melting by the second, you begged him to just let you, but he kept saying, "no, not yet." His hisses turned you on even more, until eventually he allowed you to finish, demanding "finish now baby." And you absolutely did. This time, it was a consistent fire feeling that wouldn't go away until he finished as well, leaving you a wriggled, breathless and sweaty mess.

The two of you would go on to do this for days, almost weeks. Casually meeting up after classes, before classes, during lunch, it didn't matter where — just to find some place random in the school to either make passionate love, or to just joke off with each other. Sex by far wasn't the only key dynamic in your relationship, it was just something you both enjoyed, he loved making you into a mess, and you loved being a mess.

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

It would be a random day in November, before both of you were finally caught. Months of cheerleading, months of pretending to be Chrissy's friend, and months of tolerating the bullshit from your parents had passed. But now you were caught, and by none other than Chrissy Cunningham herself. She was walking through the halls, finally tired of your teacher's excuse bullshit, when she heard you moaning Eddie's name in the bathroom. She kept this from you for a while though, watching as you'd leave, only to build her case before approaching you one day before first hour.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you real quick before you go bang Eddie Munson in the bathroom again." She says to you, abruptly. You laugh, assuming she's joking, but she is definitely not. "I'm serious, Y/N. You act like the whole school doesn't hear you, 'Eddie, harder! Faster! I'm gonna finish!' and then he's all, 'go ahead princess,' it's a joke. But I'm tired of prying it out of you. This time, I'm taking actions into my own hands. You'll thank me later." And she storms off, with one final word to you: "cunt".

This worried you more than you'd like to admit to yourself, and you decided to not sneak out with Eddie on this particular morning.

It wouldn't take long into first period before he was passing you notes, though. Exactly how he always did, crumbled it up, and put it next to your backpack.

hey, you okay doll?

He wrote. You wrote a quick response before crumbling it up, and passing it the same way. You waited for him to respond as he wrote behind you.

no. chrissy is onto us hardcore. i think she mocked my moans.

You heard him let out a little excitement, believing that this could finally be the moment the two of you have been waiting for — a moment to shine the relationship. You wanted that more than anything, but safety was your top priority. Anybody could want to kick his ass, finding out about the two of you, especially Chrissy's arm candy.

does this mean we can start talking about the relationship

eddie baby i don't know

we'll see right! chin up, doll, we can do anything we put our minds to together. and i'll always save you, you know that.

absolutely, always and forever, Eddie Munson.

You loved seeing Eddie so optimistic. It made you feel less horrible for everything the two of you were going through.

But despite that, Jason was obviously back at this point, so you were petrified of him retaliating on Eddie if Chrissy just had to open her big mouth. But it wouldn't surprise you if that was the case, because Chrissy obviously told everything to Jason. Jason developed this parental roll over you, the same way Chrissy had, and it was fucking annoying. Every hour you were hearing something about how if you needed him to kick anybody's ass he would "do it with ease", or shit like that. It was sweet at first, despite it being because of some boy you lied about, but now it was just infuriating. It made you feel like everybody knew about you and Eddie, which wouldn't be particularly surprising if so, because now everybody seemed to know right under your nose.

Jason's threats now became your biggest fear, you didn't want to see Eddie hurt, especially for something you could've changed from the beginning. But to your unexpected reality, that would be just the case.

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

Lunch time rolled around, a lot faster than you'd like to admit.

Eddie sat in his usual spot. You loved seeing him so happy sitting next to the Hellfire Club. In the meantime, Jason approached you.

"So, Y/N, seeing Eddie Munson?" He asks. You instantly became infuriated. Why did he seem to care so much about your love life? It not only wasn't his business, but nor his concern. You were perfectly happy with Eddie, and that should be all that mattered, but it wasn't.

"Why do you care?" You ask in response. You had every reason to ask him this. Because, in all reality, he shouldn't care at all. But he did.

"Because, Y/N, you need to be safe!"

"And I am! None of you know anything about him!"

"We know that he's a satan worshipper,"

"But he's not!"

Before you're able to speak another word, he's walking over to Eddie, you try grabbing his arm to pull him back but he simply won't stand down. He rushes over to Eddie, speaking a quick, "Hey! Munson!" before knocking him down to the ground and physically attacking him. You started crying, hysterically, but Chrissy kept trying to reassure you that it was for the best. You were so fed up with Chrissy, you attacked her yourself, knocking her to the ground and slamming her head against the linoleum.

You begin taking your fists and punching her as well, banging your fists against her face and head until she stops fighting back. She becomes unconscious, and you rush to Eddie, who was on the verge of unconsciousness as well.

"Hey, Carver! Your girlfriend is laid on the floor over there, covered in her own blood," you shout, "maybe you should take care of that!"

"You bitch!" He yells, rushing over to Chrissy, as you rush to Eddie.

"Think we got him?" Eddie laughs, his lip busted and swollen. He was so cute, even in his worst moments. That made you sob harder, and more hysterically.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," you cry. He reaches up to wipe your tears. You move his hand, and start caring for his wounds with your fists still covered in Chrissy’s blood.

"Don't be. I'd do anything for you, remember."

"Okay that's it!" You stand him up, and face the cafeteria that already had their eyes plastered on you and Jason. "I'm Y/N, this is Eddie, and we're fucking together! I love him. He loves me. If you dare to fuck with either of us, you'll end up like Chrissy. Now for fucks sake, please leave us alone!"

And then without another word, you rush out of the cafeteria with Eddie.

The two of you made a plan — you would go home, pack your shit, and not say a single word to anybody. You were fed up with everybody, and how they treated not only you, but Eddie as well. You were done with it.

After washing Eddie’s wounds, you realize luckily he didn’t get hurt as bad because Jason would care more about Chrissy than to finish the job. He had a split lip that didn’t seem to affect him, and a black eye, plus little cuts along his face. You were able to cover those with butterfly bandages, and he took an ice cube to his busted lip. He was okay, aside from his slight limp from being knocked down, and minor injuries. It made you feel a sense of relief that you hurt them more than they hurt Eddie.

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

You entered your house to find not only your parents, but also Chrissy, sitting in the same spot they had when they originally wanted to make conversation.

"Hey, I'm out," You said. Three simple words. You didn't want to say any more, or any less. But of course, that wouldn't easily slide with your parents.

"The Freak, Eddie Munson, Y/N are you serious?" Chrissy shouts. For a girl with several injuries and a moment of unconsciousness, she really felt the need to talk still. It was unfathomable to you. Nonetheless, You ignore her, instead walking to your room, out of sight from your family and ex-friend. You begin pulling the boxes out of the closet, opening the window and smiling at Eddie.

He flashed a smile back, and mouthed a quick, "you got this!"

"You're done seeing him, Y/N. And you're grounded." Your dad walks in, abruptly saying to you.

“No. I'm done, and I'm leaving. Because you're going to kick me out if I keep seeing him, and I'm not going to stop, so I'm making it easier on you."

“Are you out of your goddamn mind? You must be out of your goddamn mind, she must certainly be out of her goddamn mind," your mom says, pacing in distress.

"The opposite," you say, "I have never been happier. You were all fucking wrong about him!"

"Y/N, think clearly, please. This is Eddie. He's not just some teenage dreamboat. He's gonna sacrifice you to that stupid game. The way all his friends do." Chrissy attempts to sympathize, but you were beyond that point. She might've been able to manipulate your image of Eddie before, but nobody could do that now. You seen the true Eddie, the caring, funny, cute and absolutely sexy, spontaneous, nerd with a big heart Eddie Munson. Everybody lied to you before, just because he appeared differently or played games other people couldn't process, or begin to stomach with their weak minds. He was just different. You loved him that way.

"'He's gonna sacrifice you!' Listen to yourself. Do you realize how stupid you sound, Chrissy? Over a fucking board game?"

"Watch your mouth, Y/N," your father demands, sticking his finger firmly in your face as he does so.

"Get your fucking finger," you start, hitting his hand away from your face, "out of my fucking face."

"I don't even know who you are anymore," Chrissy gasps.

"You didn't even know me!" You yelled, "you dressed me up like your little doll, made me try out for cheer, got me on the squad despite knowing I wasn't too keen with the idea. I was your doll, your charity work for the fall, and that was it. You didn't care about me, and you didn't know shit about me!" You drop the box in your hand, and start approaching Chrissy. The mere sight of her bloody face right now pissed you off. How could she act like she ever cared at all? She didn't give a shit about you, she was just another manipulative little bitch that attended Hawkins High, and you were too blind to see it.

“You know, you really had me, too." You poke her chest, causing her to back up in fear as you got closer to her face. Your parents just stayed behind, your mother crying. "But when Eddie fought with us, I realized all you are is a junkie trying to get a fix. And when he couldn't provide that, he stopped being your doll. Just like how me seeing him, stopped me from being your doll. You're fucking twisted, Chrissy! You're manipulative, you're a liar, and you're a stone cold bitch. Like really? Telling my family? Does your family know about the football team rumor?"

“Don't you dare say-"

"Mom, dad, you really let a girl who got her pipes cleaned by the whole football team inside your house? Like really, especially mom, the OCD germaphobe, this girl is a walking germ!" You turned to your parents, stepping back so you could face all three foes at once, like a boss battle in Dungeons and Dragons (or whatever they called that, you're still learning). "And dad, the failed writer that brought me to this shit hole town to chase some false lead? Some poltergeist story?" You smile, "see how much words can fucking hurt? Eddie Munson is more real than any of you will ever be. Now I suggest all of you get the fuck out of my face so I can pack the necessities, and leave with the satan worshipper, or I'll call the cops and tell them dad has been hitting me. So much for a story in prison, right dad?"

The three of them said not another word, before exiting the room, and slamming the door. Well, all besides your father, who dropped two final words, "fuck up". But those words didn't phase you. They brought you here. This was just as much their issue as it was your's. You started to cry due to pure frustration, before hearing a commotion outside.

“Listen, you satan worshipping, devil tangoing, geek freak fuck," Chrissy yells, "stay away from Y/N."

You decide to hop out of the window. You see her pushing Eddie, and Eddie yelling to avoid pushing back. He was a gentleman, as much as he wouldn't admit that, and he had common decency that all human beings should have, so he wouldn't. That doesn't mean you were, or cared about, any of those things, and you did fight back.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY CHRISSY? Did you not get the hint when you got your ass handed to you? BACK. OFF!” You yell, pushing her down to the ground. She fell with a quick motion, using her elbows to hold herself up. "Get the fuck out of here. And leave him alone," you spit, "I'll allow you to go to your car. But if I see your face one more time, near his, you're done for. Now go on."

She walks to her car, brushing herself off, mumbling as she proceeds. She didn't really seem to get the hint, but you didn't care. As long as she left Eddie alone, you'd take any backlash coming your way.

“That was so hot," Eddie laughs.

"Oh, shut up, Munson. Help me with a couple boxes?"

“Of course."

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

I wanna be yours

Wanna be yours

... ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱...

You begin moving both boxes into Eddie's room, pure irritation coasting through your veins. You knew they were going to kick you out, had you still seen Eddie. So you made that decision for them, or at least that's what you kept telling yourself. Maybe there was a world where Eddie would get along with your dad, a world where they would've been excited to meet him and just shooed Chrissy away when she tried to start that bullshit. Maybe there was a world where you didn't have to threaten your dad, and Chrissy, in sake of Eddie, and they could've all been, at the very least, content coexisting. But that wasn't this world, so wasting time thinking about it seemed redundant. You always did this with traumatic events, not to say that moving out of that household was traumatic, but other things you'd been through were always coped with the same way, too. You hated that.

You were completely lost in thought, setting your box of clothes next to Eddie's closet when he comes in. He smiles at you from the doorway. He holds a Hellfire Club shirt, and some boxers, once more.

"Same outfit?" You laugh.

“Ah, well, washed and repurposed." He laughs in return, "seriously, I love seeing you in my clothes."

“Maybe I'll wear that after I take your's off," you smirk.

“I think I like that idea," he pleads, agreeing with a hint desperation plaguing his vocal chords. He starts to slowly walk over to you, everything in slow motion the same exact way you'd always loved, the silence in the room was deafening. You ached for him. As much as you wanted to hide it, didn't care to appear too vulnerable to him, always wanted to show that tough side of yourself, you couldn't. He made you melt at the seems, exposing your heart to him, and he took you in any way he deemed fit. Eddie was a protector, and he cared about you. You could see it in his eyes when he approached you, when he looked at you, when he spoke to you. He was so delicate.Now you were in his room, lost in those umber eyes, unable to fathom just how good he's about to treat you, and treat your body. He finally makes his way to you, and you without a second to spare begin fiddling with his belt, embracing him into a passionate kiss.

You couldn't hold yourself off anymore, every crevasse on your body practically screamed his name, your stomach twisting as your tongues met between kisses. He was warm, his lips softer than when he spoke, you loved him like this. Every last raw emotion that man could ever feel you wanted to witness. He always produced the rawest emotion leading up to taking you, his eyes and lips would always say what his brain couldn't, making him at his most vulnerable. He melted the same way for you, as you did for him, and that's how you knew this wasn't like every other scenario. The two of you would inspire movies, inspire all hopeless romantics like yourself. You'd be just like your favorite romance movie.

With one swift action, he manages to have you pinned against the wall, and begins sucking and biting your neck. The breaths he took through his nose became hotter on your neck, sending chills down your spine as he begins leaving little hickeys. He loved to mark his territory, probably more than he loved to be a protector, at least during sex.

“Finally all mine," he speaks, leaving a hickey the shape of a heart on your neck before kissing it and chuckling to himself.

"The sight of you like this, absolutely aching for me, is so hot Y/N. I just might allow you to fuck me." He travels down to your chest, before realizing there was a shirt between the two of you that would prevent any further action. He tsks, talking your top layer off with one rapid movement, revealing your bra and exposed stomach. He places his hand behind you, slipping your bra off with flick of his wrist.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Y/N" he states, worshipping you as you stood mostly nude in front of him. His eyes lead from your face, all the way down to your body, as if he's examining you. The pools of his brown eyes twinkled in lust. He continues, kissing and sucking on your neck, leaving hickeys. Your mind wanders, losing track of your thoughts in place of moans as he licks down your chest, placing his mouth over your nipples.As he licks, he feels under your pants, tracing circles over the underwear that masked your core.

He creates shapes and patterns that are unrecognizable to your brain, all you can think about is how badly you need him. You continue to ache for him, practically begging him to fuck you without speaking, whimpering at his very touch and melting under his fingertips. Without another word, he picks up the pace for both activities, flicking your nipples with his tongue and practically fingering you over your underwear, leaving you a moaning, pleading mess.Finally, he takes off your pants and underwear, traveling down with them as he does so. He gets on his knees for you, and stares up at you with a smirk.

"Should I continue?"

"Please,"

"Good girl, lift your leg up," he demands, lifting your leg on the table next to him. He starts to lightly lick on your center, before attacking it with his lips. He begins putting his jaw into it, really making sure to give all of you the proper attention. He stimulated your clit with his tongue as he did so, making sure his multitasking was up to perfection. You moaned for him, practically screaming his name as he licked up the mess you were creating by the second. You finished on his tongue, whining out for him as you did so. You felt like you were on fire. It never took long with Eddie, because he always knew the sweet spots. But that didn't mean he was going to stop. He continued, speeding up once more, with the end goal to make you finish again. And he was absolutely going to get that. You felt like you were losing your mind, gripping on his hair and yelling sweet profanities as you praised him.

He picks you up, tossing you onto his bed like you were weightless. He stands over your naked body, again staring at you as he does so."So absolutely stunning," He smiles. He was so proud, so in awe, it was like he was lost in a trance. He was so beautiful, as much as you couldn't tell him that, the same way you weren't able to tell him how much of a gentleman he actually was. But he loved the sight of you, the twinkles in his eyes began to take over his rich chocolate eyes, taking you in any chance he could.He proceeds to run his finger down your core, slipping them in. He starts fingering you, slow at first.

You moan, whining for him as you ache. He proceeds to finger you, moving faster and faster with his rhythm, twisting his wrist in the process.

“Eddie, I'm gonna finish-" you weep.

"Then do it, pretty, you have my permission," he groans. You finish in his palm, your hips arching as you do. The same pressure release approached, leaving you breathless and in a puddle of your own mess. You loved the way he made you feel, the way he could make you finish so quickly, it made you wonder how you ever dealt before. Before, you had met the same douchebag guys, who didn't care about getting you off or about you at all, they were meaningless.

But he was different. A different you enjoyed. He rode your wave until you were calmed down, and then placed himself at your entrance after taking off his clothes.He finally pushed himself in, lifting your hips as he continues. He hits all the soft spots, causing you to whither as he forced his speed. You threw your head back in delight, shuddering underneath him. You felt the pressure build up again, and the same heat in your core.

“Eddie, please," You beg. He turns you around, and flips you over, your bottom half in the air. You thought it was hot, the way he could just move you like a doll. He begins grabbing your hips, and continuing the fast motion. The sound of skin clapping blasted louder and louder throughout the trailer, moans filled the drywall. He began thrusting stronger, forcing you to whimper and yearn. Finally, you release, moaning as you do. He finishes inside you, seeping into the inside of your walls as he throbs and wriggles. He was absolutely amazed.

“That was fucking amazing,” He states.

“I’m done holding back, Eddie. I love you.”

“I love you, Y/N. So much.” You embraced him into a hug, and then pulled him closer. You loved his height compared to yours especially, it was probably one of your many favorite things about him.

“You have me now, okay?” You state. He nods, in complete happiness. The two of you would spend the rest of high school together, absolutely infatuated with each other. Nobody ever approached you two again. You joined Hellfire Club, staying right next to Eddie any chance you got. Everything was perfect, and the two of you would last for years and years after high school as well. You helped him graduate, too, and the bond between the two of you strengthened everyday. You never quite got around to your parents, who always managed to hate Eddie and hate your relationship, despite the good it produced. Nonetheless, your parents were still there for not only your graduation, but also his.

If you had any sense left, after all was consumed by him, you’d say ‘86 was definitely his year.

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #smut #stranger things season four #hellfire club #stranger things 4 #eddie munson fanfic

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