eldest child? no, eldest daughter. she’s never been a child in her life.

tim: the longest lasting, most stable relationship I’ve ever had is with depression

jason: mine’s spite

dick: I meant like romantic relationships but go on

business idea: support group for older siblings who do NOT know how to fix the plot

me when i have to do another breathing exercise and count to 10 after my mom says the most vile, traumatizing thing to me because if i say what is really on my mind it would make the situation 100x time worse

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

I’ve been playing therapist, mother, babysitter, event organizer, doctor, and unpaid CEO for my family for to long

Where do I put in my two weeks notice?

Absolutely SICK how pleased I feel after the eye doctor receptionist said I was her favorite patient because I brought the paperwork already filled out 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Eldest daughters are the girls who will resent their fathers the most but then are the ones who turn out the most like him.

(I’m eldest daughters)

y’all ever just want to like…..go fucking nuts? just go absolutely, bloody stupid for five or ten minutes?? just to see if it puts everything back into perspective?

Ah yes the awful feelings of both understanding and anger at ones mother that suddenly appears in your mind randomly on a tuesday and never leaves

From Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid

Remove your personal information from the web at https://joindeleteme.com/KATI and use code KATI for 20% off US consumer plans. DeleteMe International plans: https://international.joindeleteme.com/

I came across the topic of eldest daughter syndrome on TikTok and had to dive deeper into this subject. As someone who has spent significant time researching and working with family dynamics in the psychology setting, I am always fascinated in learning more about how childhood dynamics and how everything from childhood trauma to sibling relationships (and everything in between) impact our upbringing. So what is eldest daughter syndrome, or we may call it oldest daughter syndrome? The truth is that many of these signs are not specific to sisters and may also apply for oldest or eldest brothers, or any parentified child. Let's tap into the psychology the oldest or eldest sibling and the signs you may struggle with this syndrome. Are you the oldest sibling or eldest daughter and have you experienced any of these signs?

Sorry for reacting on the spot and speaking my true feelings. That wasn't very empath-therapist-friend of me.

this line makes me sick. i love it.

easily one of the best lines i've written (unfortunately the rest of the fic is rather... rushed)

therapy isn't enough. i need to give my dad daughter issues

An unedited draft about the inner child

I used to believe from a very young age, that I was very emotionally intelligent.

Constantly told I’m “mature for my age”, “wise beyond my years” Maybe I just had to grow up too fast; the classic eldest daughter dilemma.

I was so young when I behaved 25, Now I fear I’ve grown into a tall child.

I’m realizing now it’s all a cover up; an attempt to hide my fears my inadequacies my wounds my child-like need for approval.

I’ve grown stagnant instead of growing up.

It’s difficult to face something you’ve been hiding from yourself because if you hide something from others for too long, eventually you forget where you put it.

Until it comes crawling back, and once you feed the beast, you realize it’s no beast at all, it’s her; no, it’s you. A former you, pleading to not be left behind again.

So show her kindness where she knows disdain, show her softness where she knows anger, warmth where she knows ice cold abandonment. Be her solace, her home.

Be who you needed when you were her; because you are still her, and all the other versions of yourself.

A.S 02.27.2024