i miss feeling safe and secure in love

When Ray Bradbury said, "How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you?" And when Kafka said, "Forget everything. Open the windows. Clear the room. The wind blows through it. You see only its emptiness, you search in every corner and don't find yourself." And when Florence said, "I thought that love was a kind of emptiness and at least I understood then, the hunger I felt; and I didn't have to call it loneliness."

eldest child? no, eldest daughter. she’s never been a child in her life.

i am the loneliest person on the planet

it’s when your friends grow distant from you. and you make excuses for them because they never explained themselves. “they’re busy with school” “their family has a lot going on” you respect their privacy. you don’t want to annoy them. until you see their online posts. all of them together. meeting up in a restaurant. a reunion. everyone who seemed so busy has no problem leaving you out. not even asking if you were free. not missing your presence. and you wonder why. why was i left out with no answer? why do i get left behind? why does no one talk to me anymore? what did i do? what did i do? what did i do? what did i do? i have no friends. i’m no one’s first choice. i’m not even a last choice. i’m not even here. does anyone think of me? not about what i can do for them. but about how i’m doing? when will i meet people who think of me? who include me in anything? am i destined to be alone? why am i the worst person in the world? why won’t anybody tell me what i’m doing wrong? nobody’s here.

- amistillhere

my love was loyal, at the price of my sanity

- amistillhere

you say i shouldn’t bottle it up inside? does that mean you’ll hold me in your arms when i cry?

- amistillhere

i envy how fast you moved on. i wish i loved you less

- amistillhere

it was when my dad said “a 9 to 5 job isn’t the future” and the verve said “you’re a slave to money, then you die” and dolly parton said “you’ll spend your life putting money in his wallet”

- amistillhere

you don’t need her anymore

but the colour’s back in her face

you don’t need her anymore

but she’s 10 months into recovery

you don’t need her anymore

but now her head is calorie free

you don’t need her anymore

but she’s learnt that she has beauty

you don’t need her anymore

and she’s finally accepted her relief

because you needed her more

than you would like to believe

the magic’s long gone but her mind’s finally clear

you don’t need her anymore but she’s still her(e)

- amistillhere

now i’m finally at that stage, the stage i couldn’t believe you reached, where i don’t care whether you live or die

- amistillhere