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stalkingmyfriends · 8 months

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I’ve been playing therapist, mother, babysitter, event organizer, doctor, and unpaid CEO for my family for to long

Where do I put in my two weeks notice?

#eldest daughter #pls end my suffering #they all need real therapy #and to learn how to communicate #I need a nap #autism #adhd #neurodivergent #actually autistic #oldest child #eldest spawn

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #madam lan #A-qing #Band AU #(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!)#Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing!#I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both.#As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured.#Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group.#Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like!#This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*)#I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back.#One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet.#It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company.#Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other.#Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters.#Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness.#She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).

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odetojupiter · 6 days

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so, we know that abuse and victim responses to abuse are very central to aftg, but what i find interesting is how other characters respond to the victim’s reactions, especially when it comes to mourning their abuser. there’s something about kevin mourning riko, aaron mourning tilda, neil mourning mary, andrew mourning cass, thats so important to me because it really truly highlights how even when people are united through similar traumas, the differences in their situations makes it impossible to fully understand the relationship a person has to their abuser. neil, aaron, and andrew are united through the abuse, neglect, or - what the fuck is the word i’m thinking of? permit? condone? i mean, knowingly allowing it to happen and not intervening - stemming from a maternal figure. but neil can’t understand why andrew would hold on to cass for so long - he refused to let her go until aaron came into the picture. and andrew can’t understand why aaron would mourn for tilda, potentially viewing aaron’s grief as a betrayal of their promise. and they all ridicule kevin for his reactions to riko. of course, neil and andrew are also abused by riko, but they still can’t understand the complicated relationship between kevin and riko because, at the end of the day, they just weren’t there.

i mean this is primarily an observation but i really love how trauma and trauma response is depicted as nuanced, complex and overall just difficult to understand from an outsider perspective in the books. it reads as really real, and though it can be frustrating when a character doesn’t understand a different character’s response, you have to understand that their perception of said character’s response is warped by their own experience of abuse.

andrew bounced from home to home, never had stability, so obviously he held tight on to the first mother-figure that didn’t outright hurt him. his self-worth was probably low enough that he thought living with drake was a fine price to pay to keep cass.

neil only ever had his mother, and he’d willingly accept her harsh hands because he believed she was just keeping him safe from the very real dangers that were closing in on them.

aaron was dealing with an addiction, and so was his mother; he was equally dependent on her to avoid withdrawal as he was scared of her anger.

i don’t really have a point anymore but you get what i’m saying

#or maybe this doesn’t make sense at all #idk i am struggling with words today #but genuinely i love how there’s no perfect ‘therapy friend’ in the series because it’s so unrealistic when someone is dealing with trauma #and somehow someone with a completely different upbringing understands them perfectly and always says exactly what the character needs #to hear #it’s something you see in fiction too much #the way these characters share certain experiences but aren’t 100% united in their responses to trauma #makes them feel so real #even if it means they say the wrong things sometimes #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #aaron minyard #i do indeed ramble on too much ik what ur thinking

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therealcalrissian · 2 months

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star wars knows just how painful the end of tbb is gonna be so they are bandaging our pain with tales of the empire

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kitsunefyuu · 6 months

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I’m going insane at the fact AFO goal in the most simplified and not convoluted way. He wants love and adoration. He wants what he sees everyone else has and because of how he grew up only knows how to take by force.

His desire is simple yet not at all. He demands everyone to be subservient to him because he has what they need. He wishes to be a provider.

He throws people away once they are no use, yet still wishes to imitate family by calling Aoyama his nephew. This drives me insane as it toxic as hell but it born from someone who never experienced actual love. Only knowing cruelty and harshness he demands their attention and reliance on him because that the closest thing to love he knows.

I feel insane about this man because this was NOT what I expected from him. And after piecing all the ‘explanation’ of his motive with this last chapter. With his desire for everyone to be ‘Yoichi’ the one he provides for? It just CLICKS.

I’m still recovering. Needing to collect all the talk on AFO motive. Just because he wants what everyone has. To a insanely selfish degree.

#my hero academia #all for one mha #all for one #all for one bnha #BNHA 407 #MHA 407 #manga spoilers #dad for one bnha #dad for one theory #AFO NEEDS THERAPY FOR REAL THO #yoly's theories

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pigeonwit · 10 months

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davey jacobs but he has meltdowns. big ugly meltdowns where he cant be touched or spoken to and just needs to be left alone to cry and stim and scream and go catatonic for a little bit. davey jacobs but he has involuntary twitches and stims that include punching himself, twitching his neck/his face, knocking his knuckles together, scratching his skin, etc. davey jacobs but he has shutdowns where he just cant get out of bed or shower or do anything because his energy is so thoroughly spent that even moving hurts. davey jacobs being autistic but not the 'palatable' kind of autistic that neurotypicals find cute and quirky. but his loved ones still love him anyways and don't get frustrated with him for it. they try to help him stim the way he needs to without hurting himself. they dont get mad when hes so exhausted that he cant do certain things because they know its not a matter of choice or pushing yourself or him purposefully not wanting to make an effort for them, he simply cannot do it just yet.

davey jacobs being autistic in ways that are inconvenient and frustrating. davey jacobs being deeply ashamed of that all his life. davey jacobs learning over time that there are people who will not treat his autism and its more difficult aspects as an obstacle to overcome in order to love him.

davey jacobs being autistic and still being loved unconditionally for it.

#now switch out 'davey jacobs' for 'me; tumblr user pidge pigeonwit'#i need to go to back to university right now or i will DIE.#anywhore. this isnt me saying 'ugh the newsies fandom treats autism like [x]' tbc #honestly all the autistic headcanons ive seen have been dope and received well.#its almost like we're all autistic and know what the fuck we're talking about #but man!! i sure hate how autistic people have to constantly be behaving ourselves in order to be treated like fucking people!!#both in real actual life and online!!#vent #too poor for therapy tag #newsies #davey jacobs #uksies

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cairavende · 5 months

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Worm Arc 14 thoughts from 14.8 through the end:

Gonna get a little bit gay up in here pretty soon. But first, some other stuff.

Pretty much jump right into "Oh shit everything is fucked" with the bio-weapon just spreading everywhere right away.

Skitter's focus on Tattletale specifically when trying to get them to higher ground was top level Chatterbug/Smugbug content. Like sure Sundancer and Trickster too, she wanted to save them. But when Bentley wasn't climbing fast enough what she said to herself in worry was "Tattletale."

Fucking god. Tattletale telling Skitter to fly to the higher building and use bugs so Trickster could teleport them and they'd follow? But fully knowing it wouldn't work and just trying to get Skitter to safety?

"It doesn’t look like her plan will work out. Tell her I’m sorry." - I WAS FUCKING BAWLING

I had figured that Bonesaw's contingency wasn't just a "everyone dies right now" virus or whatever. It would need to be artistic. And it would need to be a punishment to the local capes, both hero and villain. And the way to punish them would be to "take the city from them". "Make them watch it destroy itself." "Make them help".

I feel like what she did covered that general outline with a heavier focus on taking everything away from the capes. But still, god damn Bonesaw. Absolutely fucking terrifying. Super powered face blindness. At the base at least. Don't know who anyone is. Damn.

SKITTER IT'S NOT GAY YET THAT ISN'T TATTLETALE IT'S BONESAW! GAY WILL COME LATER!

If Jack put's his slimy fucking hands on my daughter again I will personally remove them.

The "Don't swear!" from Bonesaw while pretending to be Tattletale was fun. I managed to hit on it before that, but it was a good confirmation.

Fucking Jack and his "You’re versatile" after seeing Skitter make decoys while prepping to tie someone up with spiders. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR DREAMS YOU DICK. YOU CAN'T HAVE HER.

Instantly confirmed when Skitter flat refused to shoot someone despite Jack and Bonesaw telling her to. My daughter might not be perfect but she's not going to be one of you!

Coil fucked up a bit on the phone. He wasn't dealing with the pathogen so he should have done better. Even just asking everyone there to say something so he could listen to the voices. He would have known right away it wasn't Tattletale and Grue. Patching them through to Cherish that easily was a mistake. He really doesn't do as much as he could be. Like ya he's evil but that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed when he isn't using his full potential.

Cherish very fucked up when she thought letting Jack and Bonesaw know where she was would be good for her. Hope she likes her eternal torment at the bottom of the ocean. (Ok there's a chance she'll get pulled out in the future I guess.)

I'll admit, when Amy left with Victoria earlier I wasn't expecting to see them again so soon.

"Panacea is the healer, top floor, Jack is the slasher, the blond girl is the chemist-tinker." I don't know why, since it doesn't rhyme or anything, but I got very "The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true" vibes from this.

Jack trying to convince Amy by talking about how many of her ancestors were successful by being cruel and Taylor just internally going "How many were successful because they cooperated?" Love my daughter.

Victoria is still very much . . . not dead.

HOLY SHIT AMY YOU PUT YOUR SISTER IN A PERSONALIZED FLESH COFFIN MADE FROM CATS AND DOGS?

Seriously. Personalized. It has her face on the outside made out of bone. What the actual fuck Amy?

Proud of my daughter for shooting Jack, even if it didn't work.

It's probably fine that Skitter got Amy to break her brain rule again. I mean like it's good. It was the only way to fix the pathogen. It saved herself and the city. That is all good. Just . . . there might also be some long term negative outcomes. Probably fine though.

Getting gets cured and goes off to cure the city be gay.

"I leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on her lips." - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER!

SO FUCKING GAY I LOST MY FUCKING MIND WHEN IT HAPPENED

"'You couldn’t have waited until after you’d cured me before you put the bugs on your face?' Tattletale asked. She was smiling as she asked it." - ALSO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

SO GAY. DOUBLE GAY. EXTRA GAY. ALL THE GAY!

CHATTERBUGCHATTERBUGCHATTERBUG (SMUGBUG IS FINE TOO)!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also the level of effort the girls went through after that trying to figure out how to cure Grue and Regent without kissing? Fucking amazing. Kissing was only ok for these three. Obviously.

GAAAAAAY

Gay (bug)horse girl gay (bug)horse girl gay (bug)horse girl

And the remainder of the Nine got away. Which is pretty fucking bad I guess. What with the whole "end of the world" and all that. I get that story point is the *actual* big end of the arc. But it's been overshadowed. By the gays.

Did I mention things being gay? I just want to make sure. Cause they were. Gay that is.

Interlude 1 - Sierra is amazing. She is exactly who Skitter needs to be running things while she's away. Charlotte is also amazing and I think worships the ground Skitter walks on. My daughter is, as always, absolutely terrifying when described from anyone else's PoV. She only gets more so every time. She just uses bug speak without even realizing now. Amazing. I love her. Atlas is helping and I'm so proud of him. He even got to take the gun. I hope he gets to keep it.

Interlude 2 (thought about making this it's own post but I'll just keep it really simple) - God dammit all three of the big 3 are Cauldron created? Ugh. Legend you appear to be trying to do the right thing but you sure as shit aren't paying much attention are you? Holy shit like, you believed so much of what the Doctor has been saying for years? God damn bud. How could you look at Cauldron and assume they *aren't* doing human experimentation? Especially since you know they have done it in the past! Like god damn man! At least you do kind of acknowledge that maybe you were purposefully ignoring the signs cause you wanted to be ignorant. Maybe there is a little bit of hope for you. Hell of a lore dump interlude though. Gives me lots to think about. Also I'd absolutely listen to The Number Man talk about spreadsheets all day long.

GAY

#Worm #Worm Web Serial #Parahumans #Cairavende reads Worm #The Slaughterhouse Nine #Taylor Hebert #Lisa Wilbourn #Rachel Lindt #Wolfspider #Chatterbug #Smugbug #GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #SO FUCKING GAY I'M DYING #I'm sure once Vicky wakes up and is released from her FLESH COFFIN that she will be just fine #Maybe a tiny itty bitty bit of therapy will be needed #For real though the first time The Number Man started talking I instantly wanted to be alone in a room with him.#It didn't matter that he was running over the possible outcomes of a end of the world situation and talking about the deaths of billions.#Fucking hell just spreadsheets to me man! PLEASE!#You can give me estimates all day long.#ALSO FOR REAL THOUGH IT WAS SO GAY #WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER #CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG

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shillelagh · 11 months

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I forgot to post this! My dnd character Viola, commissioned for my birthday by Dante my friend Dante from @gotham-gargoyle

#dnd #bgdia #descent into avernus #party members include: her twin brother who is a cool necromancer who is so scared of undead and a cool angel nun #who didn't know romance was real until like 3 days ago #All three of them have a martyr complex. They need therapy so badly. But instead they have a sweet baby angel elephant

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 4 months

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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here

#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness #(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so #lets see how that develops you know #also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it #not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but #im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing #to complain abt it anyway #the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy #maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness #i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character #in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now #like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains #in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think #or maybe you can! but i'll find that out #i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh #always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do #bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really #but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all #remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe #saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post #all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story #whos Other is story #where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story #ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe

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tangledinink · 11 months

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hey bad news you guys. my therapist told me today that he thinks i should actually be sad on main MORE.

#something abt practicing emotional vulnerability for the real world with real people and blah blah blah #we discussed tm(n)t for a while #he said Be Like Nerves #i think this can be interpreted in many ways #but what he meant was just write shit and post it sometimes #instead of needing to make everything into an elaborate art piece #anyway sorry guys you're all a part of my trauma therapy process now #vent #personal #look im being emotionally vulnerable #^ thats the tag im gonna use lmao coz i think its funny

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knight-princess · 8 months

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Elora: hey J how do you manage to be so calm all of the time?

Jade: oh it’s easy I do this thing where I take all my trauma and I bury it very deep and ignore it forever

Elora: . . .

Elora: I am suddenly very worried about you

#willow 2022 #jade claymore #elora danan #all the kids need some therapy for real

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zarovich · 1 month

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messed up how having a traumatic childhood still affects me and makes me unable to express my emotions properly

#personal #makes me feel like a proper dick. god i feel like i dont even deserve to be loved sometimes #what kind of person am i if i cant tell someone i love them even tho i do. the vulnerability of it all... afraid of the hurt that may follow #but i also know if im not vulnerable then ill be alone. and i dont want to be alone #im afraid if im vulnerable and say how i feel then i will stop feeling it. speaking it makes it so much more... real. idk #<- guy who needs soooo much therapy

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male-hedonism-and-acting-cool · 5 months

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My favorite fix-it au is the one where Oliver's parents are actually poor, and his dad dies. so here are some very specific cattonquick winter break headcanons. mostly Oliver's pov because I relate to being poor and in love with Felix

it's the winter break of their sophomore year

they are already dating

(still took them a fucking eternity to get together. I'd say they started dating at the end of Oliver's first summer at Saltburn. Felix was getting tired of making moves with no reciprocation, and Oliver just didn't know???? that he was???? making moves???? on him???? and at the end of the summer Oliver had a massive panic attack because he got so used to them being together all the time, and he wasn't sure they'd be this close at oxford. and because Felix is his entire support system, he goes to him for comfort. my poor boy. Felix is scared and is like 80% sure Oliver's mom died or something. then he's even more scared because Oliver is crying and panicking but doesn't want to talk about it. then Oliver whispers, "I just don't wanna lose you, I really fucking love you, Felix". and Felix is like "shit, Ollie, mate, are you telling me we could've been done with all this pining stuff like four months ago?")

but I digress. they are already dating

Oliver is invited to Saltburn for Christmas. because Christmas is a family holiday and Felix always celibates at home

Felix has to negotiate no gifts for visitors policy with his mother because there is no way Ollie would feel comfortable exchanging paperback books for some antique watch

(btw sorry for my unreliable depiction of british upper-class society. I'm poor and eastern european)

Oliver stays at Felix's room this time. and it's a little awkward because everyone knows, but at the same time perfect because they can stay in Felix's bed for as long as they want, go have some breakfast, and come right back to cuddling in Felix's bed

the dinner is great if a little Catton family intence. they also have this awkward moment when everyone decides to talk about how much they support gay rights

(Oliver is wearing old Felix's clothes, obviously. it feels really comforting and only a bit embarrassing)

Felix lays on Oliver's chest (because he's the ultimate little spoon, and I'll die on this hill) and tell him about his family and their weird rich people holiday traditions

Oliver plays with his hair in pure fucking bliss and adds something from time to time so Felix knows he hasn't fallen asleep

and then Felix has to bring this shit up again

ever since they went to Oliver's mom, Felix decided he needed to fix this woman's life and her relationship with her son for the sake of solving all Oliver's problems

(they haven't talked for two weeks when Oliver found Felix was paying his mother's therapy bills. Felix was terrified they might break up. Oliver mostly avoided him and cried)

so Felix once again says how nice it would be to go to Oliver's mom for the New Year

it's the same argument they keep having, really. Felix says, "she is trying to get better." and Oliver responds with, "but does she? get any better?" if he has energy to argue about it. most of the time he doesn't

because for his whole life, Felix only encountered broken things he was able to fix. and Oliver doesn't have it in himself to show Felix that some broken things can not be fixed or are not worth the effort to do it. because he's scared Felix would see he's just one of those broken things

so he agrees

the flat is cleaner than Oliver remembers from his childhood but is still probably the filthiest place Felix has ever seen

they still decide to clean the kitchen before making dinner (and have to do an enormous amount of googling first because Felix grew up in a mansion, and Oliver grew up in a dysfunctional family, not ideal circumstances to develop any useful skills really)

they planned the dinner in the car. something Felix likes, something Oliver knows how to cook, something they've seen at the dining hall on the last New Year

Oliver's mom gives them money to buy food, but it doesn't cover half of what they planned. Felix pays for everything like it's nothing. and Oliver wants to die from embarrassment on the spot. because yes, Felix knows he's fucking poor but knowing and seeing are too different things

the dinner itself is awkward. they don't know what to talk about. his mom doesn't really know what he studies or does in his free time. and he isn't any better, all he knows is that she drinks and goes to AA meetings. she is also not openly homophobic, but she does that thing where she acts like Felix and him are just really close friends. or maybe it's the way she would've treated his girlfriends, too. he wouldn't know, Felix is the first person he brought here

at midnight, they eat a surprisingly decent cake Oliver's mom brought from a local bakery. his mom doesn't drink because she is "two months sober" (it's not than Oliver doesn't believe her, he just doesn't think it makes any difference now) and goes to sleep shortly after

Oliver invites Felix for a walk

they go along the streets, Oliver grew up walking, and drink a bottle of champagne Oliver brought in his bag

Felix doesn't ask about his family. but he asks about school, books he saw in old Oliver's room, local urban legends (he's weirdly fascinated with them), and his favorite childhood snacks

Oliver answers. he also can't stop looking at Felix ever since he noticed snowflakes on his eyelashes

they finish the bottle, kiss a little before heading back to Oliver's mom place

they sleep on a tiny bed in Oliver's old room (smaller than ones in oxford dorms if it's even possible). it takes Felix about an hour to fit himself properly

(all the jokes Felix made about having sex in both their childhood rooms end up being just jokes because there's not much you can do when it took all of your concentration just to stop yourself from falling off the bed)

in the morning, Oliver's mom cooks them eggs. she also hugs Oliver really tight before they leave. Oliver doesn't remember her hugging him like this when he was leaving for the first time

Felix looks proud of himself, and Oliver doesn't feel like pointing out an empty bottle in the trash, the one they didn't drink. instead, he chose to believe for a day that relapse is actually part of recovery, and other things Felix keeps telling him about

they drive to oxford mostly in silence. a great, comforting one. sometimes Felix tells him some campus gossip, and they make bets on who slept with whom during the break

Oliver is a bit tired, and his back hurts. but he also feels okay. feels great. feels like there's no other shoe to be dropped any time soon

#obviously English is not my first language lol #also I'm deeply obsessed with them #Felix is so real for taking one look at Quick family and deciding they all need therapy NOW #cattonquick #oliver quick #felix catton #saltburn

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yourfaveiskenough · 6 months

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bob velseb, spooky month