Disabled joy looks like me zooming down the streets in my powerchair at full speed, fall leaves crunching under my wheels.

18 year old me, sobbing as I was forced to crawl up the ice-coated steps of the local youth homeless shelter, could have never dreamed of this.

homeless disabled trans person needs help affording more nights in hotel while government housing program keeps delaying my move in-date

3/11/2024: hello, my name is equinox. i am a homeless severely disabled trans person who is living in a hotel. i have been working with this apartment complex since october, working through a program for low-income severely disabled people who will provide me a rent figure based off of my earned income. because i sell jewelry and accept donations online, they are extremely confused as to how much income i make and have been stalling and delaying the process this entire time.

i was promised a move-in date of Tuesday, 2/27/2024, then 2/29/2024, only to have it pushed back yet again. i already set up the electricity in my name as they requested it of me on the 27th. it is march 11th, and i have no idea of when i will be approved, now.

today, i received this email:

i have given them this information several times over the past few months. i have explained that venmo does not generate statements, and that gofundme does not hold a balance. now i've had to explain that stripe also does not hold a balance, and that tumblr is not a payment gateway.

i have been in a hotel for over a month because of this. i have had to explain this information over and over again and have made no headway. i broke down crying this morning because this has been psychological torture. my hotel room is only $38/night. i have tonight booked, but will need help saving up for future nights, as well as the deposit and if i'm ever accepted at this place:

pay pal: glittergraphicnightmare@ gmail . com venmo: @ equinoxian cash app: $glitterGraphix chime: $Equinoxian

you can also support me here, i sell jewelry as well as zines on my ko-fi:

just got kicked out of the best panhandling spot i've ever had by the mcdonalds management due to a customer complaint. all i got today so far is one dollar.

a dozen people are kind and generous to me every day, and it takes just one asshole to ruin the whole thing.

i'm so tired of moving around and avoiding the wave of stigma and hatred against homeless people. i'm just trying to survive out here, man. cops and other homeless people drove me out of the previous spot, and now i don't know where i'm gonna go.

i'm gonna have to spend the day driving around and finding a new spot to sleep and get my cash, but first i need some gas. the prices went up 10 cents recently too.

i'm sorry to ask again, but if you want to support me through this and are able to, please consider donating to my ko-fi. i would greatly appreciate it as it's all i have for today and until i find another option.

If you’re british and this is your reaction to disabled Americans talking about their medical bills/medical debt we should be allowed to rip your limbs off and beat you with them

IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH HYGIENE OR VALUE DISABLED/HOMELESS PEOPLE, REBLOG THIS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

Okay so

Dry shampoo. You can get body powder or dry shampoo from dollar stores. It'll absorb the grease, and prevent moistness from causing infection. It comes in a powder, which you can vigorously fluff through your hair, making it look and feel clean. This is a valid form of hygiene. You do not need water to be hygenic and have human grooming behaviors.

You can brush your teeth with soap. Or salt. Or baking soda. Or hydrogen peroxide. Or with JUST WATER. But you NEED. TO BRUSH. YOUR TEETH. especially if you're poor and you can't afford a dentist. Tooth infections kill people.

Buy deodorant. The spray kind smells good, but it doesn't help with comfort. Carrying stick antiperspirant (not JUST de-odor ant, ANTI PERSPIRANT which means anti-sweat) and applying it every time you start to feel uncomfortably sweaty or like other people will judge you for how you smell, it will help. It will quickly become a habit if you pay attention to your body becoming uncomfortable because of sweat or smell.

Every once and awhile, when you notice a buildup of any sort of gunk, take a washcloth and vigorously scrub the area in question.

You do not need to shower every single day. That can quickly add up to lost energy and lost money. But you DO need to make sure that you're psychically comfortable and you smell nice, because it's been proven that humans need any sort of self grooming behavior to keep themselves happy and healthy.

And anyone who looks at this: do NOT make fun of how people smell. Do NOT make fun of people for not showering every day. Some people are literally incapable, physically or mentally.

being homeless while disabled is an even bigger nightmare. you're expected to carry around all of your belongings, either from couch to couch, hotel to hotel, shelter to shelter, bridge to bridge, or wherever you're headed, you have to do a lot of heavy lifting, walking, climbing stairs, finding safe places to stay, navigating underpasses: finding shelter. even when you're not doing heavy lifting, the fatigue gets to you. you can be in an exhausted fugue for days. depression runs rampant. it's impossible to keep your brain healthy when your body is suffering. nobody's patient with homeless people who hobble or have a hard time walking or use a wheelchair or powerchair. nobody cares if you're hallucinating or having a panic attack or psychotic episode or flashbacks. nobody cares in general, but it's even harder when you're disabled. if you're also disabled and homeless, i love you. stay safe

hey, we’re the ark system, a disabled, trans, genderqueer, OSDD system about to face homelessness.

we’re going to be evicted soon and plus our family is very very abusive, so we have to get out any way we can anyways. either way, soon we’ll be on the streets. we can’t work due to our disabilities and are waiting to be approved for SSI. we have no friends and no place we could possibly stay so without money, things are going to be rough.

PLEASE donate if you can. even $5 helps. and if you have a room somewhere, even for a night, let us know. we’re currently in the maryland area but planning to head to california when we’re officially kicked out.

our cashapp is $kmfdmlight

take this photo of a caracal, if it convinces you to donate any.

I just want biden to know that him being a ‘trump alternative’ is not a sufficient enough reason for him to be re-elected and he can stop making that shit his only personality trait.

disabled person: why isn’t there a bench anywhere when i go outside? i need to rest.

government: actually we had this great idea to remove them all so homeless ppl wouldn’t sleep on them! :)

disabled person: so lemme get this right.. u decided to fuck over disabled ppl AND homeless ppl? wow. great idea. revolutionary.

🚨 Urgent help needed 🚨

My wife and I were scammed out of $300 due to a call-intercepting scam when trying to reserve a car rental in order to get to a friends house out of state where we wouldve been able to stay for free for a while instead of fighting tooth and nail to remain indoors during the winter - and we lost nearly everything we have due to this and have no hope of getting it back for atleast 2 months. We were counting on that money and making that trip for our survival and now we’re left with almost nothing and have no idea what we’re going to do. If anyone can please help by boosting this and/or donating what they can, we’d be grateful to you for the rest of our lives. We keep getting screwed over and set back over and over again when we already cant afford to lose any more than what we already have. Please, Im begging, we really need your guys’ help and support. 🙏💔

links:

c4sh4pp: $goldenratio1123 + $melancholicore

p4yp4l: @ iwannadaisuki + @ poppybun

v3nmo: @ iwannadaisuki + @ sleepyguts

Just before the summer started, Jon Harry was told he’d have to leave his room at a Duncan motel because the owner planned to renovate. Harry, on provincial disability benefits, had already been struggling to pay for his small motel room, which didn’t include a kitchen: rent was $1,100 a month, leaving just $200 to pay for food and other living expenses. But Harry was unable to find a new place to rent, and for the last five months, he’s been sleeping rough. Harry is one of a new wave of developmentally disabled people who are ending up homeless in B.C.

Full Article

Tagging @politicsofcanada

Let People On Food Stamps Eat Hot Meals

Particularly on cold, rainy days (like today), while unhoused, sometimes all I want is a hot meal but it’s so difficult (if not impossible) to cook outside in the rain.

On top of this, I’m physically disabled and chronically ill. Medically, I’m supposed to have assistance with making meals as part of in home care. But I can’t get in home care without a home.

I just finished making dinner for my partner and I, it took 2 hours (3 if you include clean up). My knees are burning, my back is aching in it’s core, I feel like I’m about to faint, and all my joints are screaming. But it’s the only way we could have a hot meal today and get some protein, which is vital for our health conditions.

People judge us for using what little funds we have on McDonald’s some days. Because sometimes, it’s the only hot meal we’ve had in days. And sometimes I’m physically unable to stand, move, and do all the actions needed to cook. Or I faint while cooking. Or the rain doesn’t let up. Or we don’t have access to a kitchen for the day. Or the fire danger outside is too high. The list goes on.

Without my own kitchen to use, I don’t get to sit down while I cook (right now, everything is wet from the rain), I can’t meal prep, I can’t stock up on freezer meals, I can’t use an oven or a microwave to reheat leftovers, I can’t just reach across the kitchen for a fridge item (we have a small amount of fridge space friends let us use), everything about cooking is exponentially harder.

And even if I had 24/7 access to an accessible, full kitchen, it’s not even physically safe to cook my own meals. Even then, having a pre-made, hot, ready-to-eat meal could keep me safe and give me independance.

And all the safety needs for hot meals aside, emotionally, hot meals are also life saving and comfort. Meals are a part of community, culture, love and art.

So many gatherings we have as communities center around food. Most people in the United States would think of ones that often hold great value to Western culture. Mother’s Day breakfast. Spaghetti fundraisers. Wedding cakes. Birthday dinners. Bake sales. Carnival treats. BBQs on weekends. Holiday roasts. Lunches with friends. Casseroles brought to grieving neighbors.

Our world revolves around food.

I firmly believe that no poor person could ever “take advantage” of a system designed to feed us by using food stamps on hot food. This restrictive rule serves no purpose but to punish the most vulnerable of poor people— unhoused, disabled, and those of us living in unsafe conditions.

It also serves to restrict our access to joy and comfort. The joy can sometimes come from the food itself, but also the joy from having shared experiences solidified by the sounds of laughter and forks clinking on plates. The comfort can sometimes also be from the food itself, but also the experience of being loved and cared for while your close friend brings you pizza from your favorite restaurant because you lost your drive to eat three weeks ago and they worry about you. They know you. Those slices of pizza bring color back into your world.

Poor people deserve to be able to have the comfort, joy, and care that goes into a hot meal. We deserve the autonomy to choose foods that are best for us ourselves. We deserve to be able to eat in ways that are accessible to us.

Above all, we deserve access to hot meals.

Originally posted to my blog on 6.3.22

Mayor Eric Adams announced a major effort on Tuesday to remove people with severe, untreated mental illness from the city’s streets and subways, saying New York had “a moral obligation” to address “a crisis we see all around us.” The effort will involve hospitalizing people involuntarily, even if they do not pose an immediate risk of harm to others. “The common misunderstanding persists that we cannot provide involuntary assistance unless the person is violent,” Mr. Adams said. “This myth must be put to rest. Going forward, we will make every effort to assist those who are suffering from mental illness and whose illness is endangering them by preventing them from meeting their basic human needs.” The city said it would roll out training immediately to police officers, Emergency Medical Services staff and other medical personnel to “ensure compassionate care.” But the city’s new directive on the policy acknowledges that “case law does not provide extensive guidance regarding removals for mental health evaluations based on short interactions in the field.”

OMG, boost this! This is an incredibly cruel idea.

First of all, those who are mentally ill are frequently institutionalized against their will already.

Who gets to decide what's a mental illness and whether it's the reason they are homeless? Does this "training" involve getting a degree in psychology? Through which any doctor worth their salt would learn you can seldom diagnose in less than a day?

What about neurodivergent people? Or anyone who acts just a bit different? If someone is autistic but is homeless due to unrelated conditions or is homeless but more than able to care for themselves, will they be taken to a shelter or an institution?

What if someone is disabled but not homeless...yet the police think they are and the person can't tell them or convince them otherwise? Are they institutionalized until their loved ones can track them down? How long could that last? Especially if the person is nonverbal?

This is scary. Please boost the signal.

btw since i am actually homeless now and the holidays are over i guess i should put a donation link here. you don't have to give me any money! i know how to live for free. it would just help me be more comfortable

things i'll spend money on in priority order:

- gas for my car (this will keep me from getting towed and get me to therapy and case management appointments)

- food and water (only if i run out of food stamps, or the occasional hot food treat)

- extra blankets and clothes for the winter (it's pretty warm so i might not need this)

- laundry

i don't really like the idea of asking for money since i do in fact have plenty of experience with this situation. i've lived in my car for two and a half years total now, and i know if i'm lucky i can survive this way for a long, long time. a little extra cash will just keep me sane and for sure safe without needing to get lucky. so, if you do throw something my way i will appreciate it! it will make my life easier for sure. but, if you'd rather give your money to someone who needs it more (including yourself), i don't mind at all.

there's no monthly rewards or anything, but for a bit of fun bonus, anyone who donates will get to see my face reveal

I went to NYC over Christmas break and the one thing I felt horrible about was the fact that there was nowhere for my mother, who has bad knees, to sit. Nowhere. Not a single bench. She was able to sit in the restaurant, in the theater, and on the train. Those were the only fucking seats in the whole fucking city.

I hate anti-homeless efforts. I hate the elimination of public spaces. There were millions of people walking around NYC that week and not a single one of them was able to sit.

something something about the power imbalance inherent to being an unhoused person, how similar it is to the dependency that abusers intentionally foster in their relationships to keep victims from leaving. but if you're homeless and someone is putting you up, especially if it's for free/some kind of exchange other than rent, you're basically expected to put up with whatever indignity they can imagine for you and still just be grateful. And if you set a boundary or speak up for yourself in any kind of way, that's Taking Advantage of this poor kind person who's doing SO much for you already, how could you?

sorry its 2am and I'm trying to write a better draft about this for later too but its like. being homeless is a huge, huge vulnerability. ppl people will look to exploit that, intentionally or not. and doubly so if you're homeless because you're disabled.

also something the ableism involved... about how I know so many fellow disabled people who have struggled with homelessness, and we all have similar stories about people we trusted, friends or loved ones who seemed all too happy to help and take us in, and how we repeatedly impressed upon them the nature of our health and the situation, and they swore up and down that they understood and that we were on the same page about boundaries and expectations... only to have them blow up and kick us out at the absolute first sign of conflict or miscommunication, or because we didn't get jobs fast enough, or because we didn't contribute financially even after being told that wasn't expected, and so on.

and how, I know so many housed people who have never been through this, who all have very similar stories about how they tried to help a friend in need once, and they were SO lazy and horrible and took SO long to get their shit together that they clearly were just a freeloader taking advantage who should've never been trusted, just like all homeless people, and that's why we give them socks and canned beans instead of money.

I was never allowed to complain about ableist expectations or abled people ignoring my boundaries in my parents' home. Especially not after I became a disabled adult who still needed help with housing. And that's been true of most of the couch-hopping I've done since then, too.

Currently we have a fairly nice situation... we live with a trusted and pleasant friend. It's a whole house, not an apartment. Not even in the city. We have our own entire room. We don't have to pay rent or anything. It's temporary even aside from our discomfort, it's just been a nice place to land for the cold months.

However. Friends parents are not so chill. Their dad is the most disgusting man alive and has repeatedly gotten us sick bc he's always got something, bleeds all over and never cleans it up, never washes his hands, leaves his dentures on countertops and tables with food still stuck on them, coughs all over our stuff and never masks, is actively making the mouse infestation worse with all the food he leaves out, and puts our health at risk in SO many ways.

he used to work in Healthcare btw. His wife still does. They know we're here bc we're homeless; they know we're both disabled and immunocompromised; neither of them will wear a mask. Both of them are constantly coughing everywhere and not even covering their mouths. We've tried to politely bring this to their attention multiple times and nothing changes. They just ignore us.

We could literally die from this. We could get lifelong health complications even worse than what we have now. Bel lost his sense of taste today and now we're terrified that it's gonna be long covid or something else that sucks what little joy is left from our daily lives.

You lose everything, and then you're supposed to just say nothing and accept your lot, no matter how much danger you're in, because beggars can't be choosers. If you're disabled and poor you'd better just be fine with people abusing you and putting your health and safety at risk indefinitely, because you're lucky they're even helping you at all instead of JUST abusing you.

You dont get to have a home. You dont get to collect things, or keep sentimental things, or have a whole, adequate wardrobe. You get what you can carry with you and what won't get stolen or destroyed by others, or by the nature of moving so much. You dont get to have safety and stability and roots and community. You dont get the dignity of boundaries or your own space. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And be happy and say "thank you" if people are merely ignoring you instead of actively silencing you. And if the people "helping" you actually give you the thing that kills you, at least you didn't die of exposure, I guess? Or something?

Its just. Every single thing you do as both a homeless & disabled person reminds you how utterly worthless you are to the """normal""" people around you. Every day. It's so demoralizing.