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regulusblock · 8 months

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Regulus, on his hotel room balcony: *sneezes*

Barty, on his room balcony above him: Bless you

Regulus: God????

#bartylus #regulus black #barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #regulus x barty #marauders quotes #bartemius crouch jr #regulus arcturus black #harry potter marauders #harry potter incorrect quotes #death eaters incorrect quotes #hp marauders #regulus and evan and barty #regulus and barty #bcj crack

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maraudersera-slytherins-1970s · 2 years

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Evan Rosier: We all have our demons.

Evan Rosier, grabbing Barty Crouch Jr and Regulus Black : These are mine.

#evan rosier #barty crouch jr #regulus black #rosestarkiller #rosekiller #darkrose #rosestar #bartylus #70s slytherins #slytherin incorrect quotes #slytherin skittles #marauders era #death eaters incorrect quotes

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thetorturedpoetsintern · 2 years

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If there ever will be a Harry Potter tv show, and they make the universally hated musical episode in one season, Candy Store from Heathers would probably make the cut for Voldemort's theme song.

Just imagine him and other Death Eaters interviewing a potential follower and they are all like:

Voldemort: You can join the team

The Death Eaters: Or you can bitch and moan

Voldemort: You can live the dream

The Death Eaters: Or you can die alone

Voldemort: You can fly with eagles

The Death Eaters: Or if you prefer

Voldemort: Keep on testing me

The Death Eaters: And end up like her

Voldemort and the Death Eaters: *pointing at a mugleborn woman dead in the living room*

#in the meantime Severus is in the back of the room pinching the bridge of his nose and thinking #- thank Merlin they didn't have musical acts when I first joined them #hp incorrect quotes #voldemort incorrect quotes #death eaters incorrect quotes #my bs

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overheard-at-hogwarts · 11 months

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Snape: The kids get worse and worse every year, but people keep making them.

#overheard at hogwarts #source: bob's burgers #harry potter #hp #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #severus snape #snivellus #hogwarts professors #death eaters

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wild-flowerhoney · 8 months

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death eaters what we do in the shadows au (which is just. a documentary au if we want to be picky ig)

evan: the dark lord wants to conquer the world, which sounds like a good idea at first.

regulus: but after the first week you just start thinking "why am i doing this?" and there's no good answer really.

barty: yeah, it gets boring FAST.

regulus: of course it's a trap! why would the dark lord want to go on a stroll through muggle london?!

evan: to see how much of it we've conquered! and when he finds out that it's just grimmauld place he's going to kill us!

barty: well if you think he's gonna "QUACK" us then maybe we should "QUACK" him first.

regulus: you want us to "quack" him?

barty: if you think he's gonna do it first then yes!

evan: let's not discuss this any further, someone could hear us.

regulus: also, can he even die?

bellatrix: i heard them plotting to murder you, my lord.

barty: she speaks the bullshit!

regulus: we simply floated the idea, my lord.

bellatrix: you didn't float it, you plotted it!

evan: plotting and floating are very similar, to be fair.

*door slams open, all three scream*

peter: oh- i didn't-

barty: are you happy now, pettigrew? you just scared the shit out of all three of us.

regulus: so you don't knock anymore? hmm? is this the new you?

evan: this fucking guy-

#marauders #marauders era #death eaters #regulus black #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #peter pettigrew #slytherin skittles #bellatrix lestrange #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect marauders #incorrect slytherin skittles #what we do in the shadows #wwdits #i felt really funny when i picked regulus to say the “can he even die” line #look at me im a comedian mom #wwdits au

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chocoramo-cow · 4 months

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Lucius: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Snape, not bothering to look up from his book: who says I love you now?

Lucius: :(

#pro snape #severus snape #lucius malfoy #death eaters #snapedom #snucius #hp #incorrect quotes #incorrect hp quotes

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oasis-of-stars-4 · 4 months

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Regulus: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

#regulus black #slytherin #slytherin skittles #ngl could also be barty #hogwarts #death eaters #first wizarding war #marauders era #wizarding world #harry potter #hp #harry potter fandom #hp fandom #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #incorrect slytherin skittles #incorrect slytherin quotes

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chasingthestarss · 3 months

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Barty: please stop forgiving me for my sins!

Barty: I worked hard for those!

#dead gay wizards #marauders era #marauders incorrect quotes #barty crouch jr #Barty is a mood #death eater Barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior

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crackishincorrecthp · 6 months

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Death Eater, negotiating with Harry: We have the Malfoy kid. Give us ten thousand galleons and he will be returned to you unharmed Draco: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand galleons? Death Eater: Draco: MAKE IT ONE MILLION– Death Eater: YOU LITTLE BRAT, STOP IT! Harry: Harry: Lemme get this straight...You have my boyfriend and you want money? Are you even a real Death Eater?

#harry potter incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #incorrect drarry quotes #harry potter #harry james potter #draco malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #death eaters

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incorrectbella · 2 months

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Voldemort: Severus, how long do you estimate this task will take? Snape: By myself? probably around 25 minutes. Voldemort: And if I made Bellatrix and Lucius help? Snape: Oh an hour and a half at least!

#bellatrix #bellatrix black #bellatrix lestrange #death eaters #harry potter #severus snape #professor snape #lord voldemort #voldemort #dark lord #incorrect death eaters #incorrect death eater quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #rodolphus lestrange #lucius malfoy #malfoy

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regulusblock · 9 months

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Regulus: Describe yourself in one word

Barty: Yours.

Regulus, tearing up: Disgusting

Regulus: Say it again

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maraudersera-slytherins-1970s · 2 years

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Severus Snape: *speaking Italian*

Lucius Malfoy: I know, I know.

Corban Yaxley: You speak Italian?

Lucius Malfoy: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Sev speaks.

#severus snape #lucius malfoy #snucius #corban yaxley #70s slytherins #slytherin incorrect quotes #marauders era #death eaters incorrect quotes #death eaters

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depressed-sugar-baby · 9 months

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*The squad is over at Narcissa's house*

Lucius: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Narcissa: ... N-No...

Narcissa, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Lucius, motioning to her kitchen: Three, I thought!

Bellatrix: I see a-

Narcissa, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Lucius: Oh, well I-

Narcissa: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Narcissa, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Regulus: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Severus: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Narcissa: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Narcissa: I am a woman who owns four ovens...

Narcissa, louder and way too happy: I am a woman... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Narcissa: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Lily, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Narcissa:

Lucius: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Narcissa:

Narcissa, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A WOMAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

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hxuse-xf-black · 10 months

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16-year-old Tom Riddle: Do you know anything about horcruxes? Specifically, how to create them? Slughorn: Horcruxes? What is this for? Tom Riddle: Fun.

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overheard-at-hogwarts · 1 year

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Snape: Okay class, this pop quiz is going to count for 90% of your final grade.

Harry: Uh, Professor, you forgot to give me a quiz...

Snape: That's right, because I've already graded yours, Potter.

Snape: *holds up a quiz marked with a 'T'*

Harry: You gave me a 'Troll' on a quiz I never took?!

Snape: That's right.

Ron: ...That is jank!

Snape: Life is jank!

#overheard at hogwarts #source: icarly #harry potter #hp #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #severus snape #snivellus #the boy who lived #ron weasley #ronald weasley #golden trio #hogwarts professors #death eaters

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ihaa-shika · 11 months

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I love incorrect quotes

#soul eater #death the kid #fanart #soul eater fanart #liz thompson #dtk fanart #dtk #dtk liz and patty #liz and patty #patty thompson #incorrect quotes

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