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palmett-hoes · 3 years

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7 for Andrew??

( ask game )

7. Exists as a pretext for the intellectual exercise of seeing how much textual support I can find for something patently absurd

okay well this isn't patently absurd it's actually a very sad and sadly very common story for a lot of kids, but i did spend a lot of time combing the books for evidence of andrew’s relationship with books and reading. him being a big reader is a super common headcanon in the fandom, and im sorry to tell yall that we pulled that one out of our asses. from what’s available in canon andrew hates reading and refuses to do it in front of other people. so, i concluded that andrew is in fact, dyslexic, and that reading is difficult and frustrating for him. he avoids it whenever possible, instead relying on audible information that seems to work best for his memory. it also tracks that he wouldn’t read around other people because it would be displaying weakness in his eyes for people to see him struggling

so, the evidence. i’ve searched the books by appearances of words like “book” “read” “paper” etc. most things i can think are related to reading yknow? and there’s not one instance in the entire trilogy of andrew reading anything, ever. in fact, he canonically hates libraries and refuses to go in them. one time he’s handed a packet of an opposing team’s stats and he crumples it up and throws it in his locker immediately.

to put it in perspective, most if not every other characters is shown reading at some point or another, it’s just in very short, missable scenic descriptors. aaron buying a book in the airport. kevin reading a magazine in the dorm. the upperclassmen hanging out and doing homework together. neil reading foreign news sites. it doesn’t seem like much but the fact that andrew is never actually seen reading anything at any point ever,, is actually somewhat conspicuous if you pay attention to the fact that well,, everyone else does.

there’s a handful of other details, mostly andrew’s phone. he has an older model that both essentially forces him to use it slower to type, as well as disincentivizes other ppl from texting him and expecting a quick response. he doesn’t text neil at any point except for the essentials of setting up the phone, and it doesn’t seem like he texts with anyone else either. he specifically tells neil to call him, not text.

so let’s backtrack. let’s talk about what it means for andrew to be dyslexic.

(um,, a lot of this is gonna be based on articles and studies i’ve read but i don’t really wanna make this an Essay i want to cut through the explanations and background info so i’m gonna be making some Statements. if you’re curious or confused pls send me a message and i’ll tell u what i had in mind/what i was drawing from)

thematically, when thinking about andrew’s background, the most important thing i keep in mind about andrew is that he has never been lucky, ever. he is consistently, over and over, handed the worst cards. he is born and raised in the foster care system, and even within this (basically inherently traumatic system) he is ONLY placed in bad homes. he says so. maybe they vary in their methodology, but they’re all bad. so then i have to extend this reasoning to the other parts of his life. he has bad teachers, bad foster siblings, bad case workers. no one CARES about this boy, no one looks at him, no one asks why he behaves the way he does. he gets written off, over and over and over again, in every part of his life. that is FUNDAMENTAL to who he is and what has shaped his views and personality as a person

growing up, no one helped him with his homework, no one read to him at night. probably he had very limited experience with books before he entered school. if andrew is dyslexic he would have struggled in school from very early on, and he would not be receiving any help or support at home. he never learned any skills or coping mechanisms for dealing with the fact that he mixes up his letters or that his head hurts when he looks at them too long, because no one is paying attention to him to notice these things. if he’d received help, if people had been patient with him, he probably could have learned to read just fine and could have done well in school with some accommodations. instead, he just learned to resent reading, to hate books, because people were always trying to force him into it the wrong way, when he was a square peg in a round hole and he needed to approach reading differently from the other kids. but no one saw that there was a problem that could be helped, they only saw HIM as a problem, so no one helped him. not his foster parents, not his foster siblings, not his teachers. so he has no positive associations with reading, it’s just a continuous negative in his life

his teachers especially saw his outbursts and his resistance in class. they didn’t see that he was an abused, traumatized (autistic) child with a learning disability who couldn’t convey to anyone that reading was frustrating and physically painful for him, that he only needed a little more time and a little more support. they only saw his “attitude” and the fact that he took longer than his classmates. so they labelled him a “bad” kid, a “stupid” kid, and they didn’t question that judgement further

no one saw that, if he was given that extra time to read and think at his own pace, that he was brilliant. that he remembered everything that was ever said to him, word for word. they didn’t notice his self-discipline. his skill at puzzles and mind-games. the way he could see right through people and predict with uncanny accuracy how they would act and react. how good he was at putting clues together. his incredible spatial reasoning. they didn’t start conversations with him long enough to realize that he was incisive and observant and clever. they didn’t notice that he was bright and inquisitive, if reserved. that because no one ever answered his questions he learned how to answer them himself. that he started trouble because he was bored and under-stimulated. all they knew was that he never finished his tests and that he couldn’t read aloud in class because everything in schools is levels and data and test scores and working under ridiculous time requirements.

so i don’t really like that common characterization of andrew as a bookworm who does well in school. we know that andrew is intelligent, it’s so obvious that he’s brilliant to us from reading the books, but that’s because we’re seeing him through neil’s eyes. neil who looks at and understands andrew more than anyone else ever has, who sees in him the things that other people miss. and that’s important, because people have missed the fact that andrew is smart. but reading books, getting good grades, eloquent essays, that’s all one of the most typical, the most universally recognized ways to be smart. and i think that’s an injustice for andrew as a character and what his story represents, because he represents all the kids that got missed and passed over and thrown aside for not operating “correctly,” for reacting to things the “wrong” way

there are so many ways to be smart, so many different kinds of intelligence that get dismissed and written off for not being successful in the very narrow set of skills the school system teaches. giving andrew the most classic and conformative and universally recognized signs of “being smart” (actively AGAINST his passive characterization in canon) is honestly a disservice to him. and that’s what i like about him being dyslexic, of him struggling in school, because he can still be smart, be BRILLIANT (because he IS brilliant) but in non-conventional ways

#txt #andrew minyard #my posts #im talkin #anon #anonymous #ask #ask game #cw ableism #dyslexic andrew minyard

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bastardtetsu · 3 years

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okay so I wasn't going to send anything to your event but you just rb it soo

can i pls have a duet w Kuroo in Heathers? tyy

also congrats on 100 followers!!

ANONNNN THIS REQUEST. IM SO HAPPY YOU SENT IT. when i tell u badboy!kuroo as JD lives rent-free in my mind..... this ended up so long bjhghk but i couldn’t help myself ;-; i hope you enjoy it !!!

kuroo + JD — FIGHT FOR ME; HEATHERS

“not the best group of friends you picked out there, huh?”

an unfamiliar deep voice catches you by surprise as you make your way back to your table, stopping you in your tracks in the middle of the cafeteria. you turn to find the owner of the voice slouching lazily in his chair, his all black outfit completed by the mess of black hair that sticks up from his head. half-lidded golden eyes stare up at you provocatively.

“excuse me?” you question the stranger.

“not trying to be rude or anything, i just noticed…” he trails off, casting a glance towards the table you were just on the way to.

your friends are still snickering as they chatter, likely still on the topic of who they think is the ugliest girl at school. they’d managed to narrow it down to a top 3 before you uncomfortably excused yourself, taking your empty lunch tray as an opportunity to escape the conversation. you avert your eyes from the boy, embarrassed.

“don’t worry, i can tell you’re not like that,” he says, rising to his feet with his own tray in hand. looking up, he’s much taller than his posture lets on. “just remember,” he adds with a smirk, “if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.” he turns to leave.

“hang on—“ you protest, “don’t just make a chemistry joke and walk away, excuse me?”

he doesn’t stop, just turns his head to throw you a coy wink over his shoulder.

you can feel your face heating up slightly as he walks away, barely suppressing the smile forming on your own lips. you turn to make your way back to your table, wondering who this tall, slightly nerdy, and very handsome man could be — when a loud clatter draws your attention, along with the rest of the cafeteria.

you whip around to find the same man surrounded by two football players, both even taller and broader than he is. you immediately recognize them as the same guys who consistently harass people in the halls, making lewd comments about girls and shoving around whoever gets in their way. the mystery man’s plastic cafeteria tray and its contents are scattered on the floor, one player holding his arms as the other one winds up for a punch. however, somehow the black-haired boy doesn’t seem shaken in the slightest.

before you even have time to react, it happens.

time seems to slow down as you watch your man in black tug his arm out of the football player’s hold, landing a clean punch on the other’s jaw, before turning to the one behind him and swiftly kneeing him in the crotch. both men fall immediately, the mystery man having barely broken a sweat.

your jaw hangs open, the cafeteria erupting into chaos as your head spins in a mixture of horror and… arousal? you feel kinda guilty for finding a cafeteria brawl sexy, but the precision of that punch? the way his sharp jaw clenched as he took down two of the school’s star athletes in a matter of seconds? definitely did something for you.

you don’t notice how blatantly you’ve been gawking until his golden eyes lock with yours again. heat rushes back to your face instantly when his lips curl into another smirk, catlike eyes maintaining their gaze, as if the public display of dominance was aimed specifically at you.

you don’t mind, though. because if this is how he defends himself, you would love to see what he’d look like fighting for you.

stagedoor event

#kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #stagedoor.100 #the way i had to google chemistry jokes for this bc i don’t know chemistry to save my life #also i simply have to flex for a moment that i’ve met the guy playing jd in the video i linked #he’s friends with my hs music director bc they did a show together #his name is dan domenech & he is very nice he followed me back on instagram :)#e writes #.ask #nons !

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astrologista · 4 years

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jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!!

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands.

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up.

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth.

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

#a death in the family #death in the family #ditf #it was cool to see the different ideas they had to offer finally?#for what it was #it was kind of a collection of shorts and half spun ideas #plus i think about this shit like every day #so i cant help but be interested #someone come and talk to me about this #i really want to know #what ppl thought #spoilers #ditf spoilers #death in the family spoilers

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datingintampafails · 3 years

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Chapter 33: Robert*

Robert* reminds me of Peter*, in which, there’s confusion about names, the vibes are never quite right, and the date is pretty short. Though in this case, although we did talk for a longer time than Peter* and I did, the date itself was even shorter, a whopping 45 minutes.

Initially, Robert* likes me first on Hinge. His profile is not necessarily a slam dunk for me. He looks decent looking, though not my usual type, and has a chain bakery listed as to where he works. I like to think I am not a snob when it comes to careers, I’m pretty open-minded, but I do want to be with someone who has ambition and can have intelligent conversations with me since I am pretty well educated. Basically, someone around my level of thinking.

I decided to give the guy a chance and respond to his like by mentioning that I really like cookies at the place he works. He mentions that we could have a first date there and I responded by asking if he has dates with girls at his work often. He tells me he has only been working there a few weeks, so no. We legitimately talk about the different kinds of cookies for a while, then he moves on to ask me about what else I like. I mention my dog, then share that I space out and have trouble thinking on the spot and ask him about himself to see if it will also remind me of other things I like. He talks about seeing friends and playing video games, adds he “Doesn’t get out much.” Without missing a beat, he asks me what I’m looking for on dating apps. The dreaded question. I ask him to tell me first. My reasoning being, I feel like many men will cater their answers to what you want, instead of telling the truth. He writes me a long answer then gives me a TL;DR (too long; didn’t read) that is maybe ⅔ the length of the original message, so not that short, that says “going with the flow, down for a consistent [friends with benefits] or relationship, whatever happens, just not a one-night stand.” He announces it is then my turn to respond. I tell him I feel more or less the same, as his original longer message, but that I am not as much interested in the friends with benefits thing. Specifically, I say that with FWB, there needs to be an opportunity, or “nahhh.” I say that expectations only bring hardship and lightheartedly say I like to ask super important questions early in relationships, i.e. like my survey/application from way back when, and add “like cookie choices.” He asks me to clarify my opportunity or nahhh and says he is an open book and I can ask him anything. I explain my feelings more, saying that I don’t see the point of sticking around if someone is dead set on not wanting a relationship with me, as well as it is usually temporary and almost like a holding pattern. I ask my most important question, which is if someone wants children or not.

I get a slight argument back from him, regarding the FWB thing, saying that it can turn into more. I argue back, saying that it is still something that needs to be wanted, or at least both parties from the start can think “maybe someday.” He says this and that about the FWB, before answering my question. He says, more or less, he is open to it but it isn’t a necessity for him, however, he definitely doesn’t want kids right now. He asks me how I feel about it and I express I do not want them but would be open to adoption. He says that’s fine with him and quickly says, “Any other questions.” I am not meaning for this to be an interview. I say I do have a question, but that it is more of an open-ended/ statement that can be responded to. All I say for my “question” is the phrase “trump.” I also let him know I am going to sleep soon so we can continue our conversation in the morning. He does not like my question, that is that he says it is too vague and isn’t helpful for political discussions. I tell him that is my point, and that I am looking for him to express his feelings and that I can either oppose, agree, or somewhere in between. He says likely there would be all three. I go to sleep so I do not respond.

He greets me in the morning with a good morning. I greet him back, though I remind him I am still waiting on his opinions. It is a Saturday, so I also let him know I am about to present for a Zoom conference. He says he’s at a rowing camp and on a break from that, then asks me about my conference. He again requests that I be more specific than just “Saying one word.” I tell him about the conference, but regarding the political question, I send an eye-rolling emoji again saying that that is the point of the open forum, that I am looking for a blanket statement of his feelings regarding Trump.

He again asks about my presentation, and how it went, then goes on to give a pretty neutral debate, saying there’s good and bad, though it seems he veers more towards being a Trump fan, which is not my preference. Robert* offers to me that I can ask any questions about his stance. I am thinking, I do not need an invitation, I have a question and I will ask it.

Robert* inquires what I am doing the rest of the night. I say I’m staying in as I am going to Disney World the next day. I ask him what he is going to do the rest of the night, as that is the societally polite thing to do. I am asked AGAIN if I have any questions to ask him. He also says that he “wanted to do something with someone tonight. Chill night in maybe? Not necessarily sexual. Just relaxing, drinking some wine maybe.” My response is “haha sorry i don’t think i’ll be ‘someone’ today,” both calling him out on obviously being thirsty, as well and reiterating I am not planning on going out tonight. He admits defeat, saying that he didn’t think I would be either, but it was “worth a shot to ask.” However, he does say he does want to get together sometime.

Immediately before I can even respond to that, though, he asks me where in Disney I am going tomorrow. I tell him that Monday I could look at my schedule and put together a time and day we could meet up. I also express that I do not want to meet him at either of our places, mostly because of the stunt he had just pulled. I tell him my Disney World plans as well. He says that it is fine to talk about going out on Monday and says that “that would’ve been the plan” to not hang out at either of our places, despite what he had just said earlier about having a chill night in. I call him out on this, reminding him that he had just said something different, his response being, “yes, sorry if that made you uncomfortable. Im horny as all hell but my intentions are good and i can keep it in my pants. I promise.” How romantic. I send a laughing emoji and say that we’ve all been there before. He says he didn’t want to cross the “TMI threshold,” wherein I say that it is difficult to TMI me, but that doesn't mean I won’t be judgemental. His next comment is awkward, as he invites me to judge, but says that he’s “done [his] fair share of crazy/dumb/slutty shit. As [he is] sure [I] have too.” Weird to accuse someone you are trying to woo of being a crazy dumb slut, but okay. I bring up that I had an abusive relationship but that even in that, I wasn’t completely devoid of wrongdoing. He asks if I am comfortable talking about that and is sympathetic. I tell him more about that and he asks for some of the red flags my ex but off that I ignored. For the billionth time, Robert* offers that if I have any more important questions that I can go ahead and ask. I briefly acknowledge he asked again, by saying “lol if they come up organically I’ll ask” before continuing to talk about my abusive ex. One of the things I mentioned was that my ex was very critical about my body habitus, that is, that I was too skinny. Robert* takes it upon himself to say, “ as far as your body, it seems like you have a great fucking body…. As long as you’re not unhealthy idgaf im attracted to you sooooo” then sends two heart-eyed emojis and a shrugging guy emoji. The line he draws is that his “hands are rated E for everyone,” the context being, if someone hit him he would hit back. I explained my body issues some more and that I have stomach issues, and have always been a small person. He misunderstands and thinks I’m talking about having abs or having a fatty stomach. With the context I felt I had given, I sent a bunch of question marks before adding that my stomach issues were internal. He apologizes a lot for misunderstanding and says he is glad I’m in a better situation.

In his mind, it’s now a great time to bring up that we should text or snap. I tell him that Snapchat is “for hoes” if you only talk on Snapchat. Referencing to myself Darren* mostly. He sends me his number and then I text him. The next day, I am off having a day with my friend at an amusement park. He texts me often throughout the day and I respond when I have a chance. My best friend is asking me “who is this one?” and by the time she asks this, I’m honestly getting a little annoyed. She’s still asking about John* and where he is at. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. We’re mad at him right now. He is doing that shit again. I have to play the game, you know?” I describe Robert* as being kind of needy. At one point, Robert* is texting and asking desperately when I’m free and when we can go out. I tell him “I’m still out I’m not focused on that right now” The overeagerness is kind of a turn-off. And as mentioned earlier, we had already agreed to plan things out on Monday, and it was Sunday. He responds “Ok nvm. We don’t have to talk about that. Sorry.” Maybe I was harsh but had to put this guy in his place. I get a barrage of questions about Disney World. I mention I’m wearing my hat like a frat boy. He responds jokingly, “disgusting, how dare you.” I continue the charade by saying “yep I haze the shit out of people.” Next, however, his response is too cringey, “Mmmm haze me frat mandy” and adds “I can go more cringe.” I reply, “no thanks.” I ignore him for the rest of the day and then when I get home I finally tell him 1) I’m home and 2) what days I’m available. He gets irritated as the two nights I am available, are the only nights he is working. I have some friends coming into town the next weekend as well, so I tell him I’m not really available since I want to hang out with them. We go back and forth on what to do then with our conflicting schedules. Finally, we agree upon doing something after my work, but before his work on one of the days, giving us a tight segment of time but that should be enough for more or less a meet and greet. Because he is the one that will have somewhere to go, I tell him that he’s in charge of the planning and logistics because I wanted to make sure he had enough time to get to work.

We chat superficially in the meantime, mostly about video games and a little about past relationships. And of course… more inviting me to ask questions again. He puts me on the spot regarding the date and is trying to make me plan. I put the responsibility back on him. Finally, he suggests a place he had been wanting to try, that is more or less like a juice bar that also does protein shakes, kind of a health shop. Not really my kind of place, but I’m making him do all the planning so I won’t argue. We both independently go on a search for menus/information. He makes a comment regarding finding the menu but no prices. He randomly comments while we are chatting about the place “have i ever said that youre really fucking cute,” to which I just respond “not like in those exact words.” He adds “but yea you are. I humbly brag, “thanks! I know this about myself.” Typical male response is, presumably joking, “ok you’re too cocky” “youre ugly” “gotta bring you down a peg.” To this I just say, “it’s called confidence/not being insecure.” He switches things around saying “i know confidence is sexy.”

I don’t respond to this and get a good morning text the next day and he makes small talk about how we slept and such. It is the day that I have a date with Timmy*, but of course Robert* doesn’t know this. He at one point texts me saying that his morning got really shitty. I ask him what’s wrong and all he says is “I’ll tell you about it later.” I wonder why people do this, like why bring it up if you aren’t gonna talk about it now? It all seems like a sort of test. I do not play these games. All I say in response is “ok.” He adds “if I don’t text you about it remind me.” I don’t respond. He texts me again asking how my work is going an hour-ish later. I say it’s hectic and he asks if I’m on lunch. I send him a message about not getting full lunch breaks. I don’t hear from him for almost five hours, and given his text earlier about his bad day, I figured something could be wrong given how clingy via text he usually is. I finally text him and ask if he is ok. He says he took a nap and asked again about work, making a point that it was better than his day. Enough of the baiting, I finally say snarkily, “yeah you still have to tell me [what happened.” He is hyping it up now, saying “fair warning - its sad” I don’t respond because I figure he would still go on and tell me what happens and it didn’t warrant a response, but then he adds “if you still want to know” a few minutes later. I honestly don’t care too much, “if you want to tell me.” He finally does tell me what happened, and essentially he saw a dog be hit by a car and had tried to help it with someone else who saw the hit but the dog, unfortunately, didn’t make it. I commend him on trying to help and he says that he did the right thing and that’s why his day sucked. I don’t really know how to respond to that, plus at this point, I am getting ready for my date.

I lie to him when he asks me about my night, saying that I am chilling. More small talk to my disgust, and I verify our plans for the next day. He makes a comment about not being able to see the prices anywhere. This seems to be a worry of his for whatever reason, so I tell him that we can do something else and that I am flexible. He is of no help, as all he says about this is “idk what else we’d do.” My response is “ok” and I say I’m going to bed. In the morning it is finally the day of our date and I let him know that unfortunately I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me to work, so I’ll be wearing my work outfit tonight. He makes a comment about how he’s never seen a cute girl not look good in scrubs, and I let him know that today is the day that changes.

During the day, he states he is thinking of driving by to check the prices of the drinks and that he’s also got a back up. I tell him he should do whatever he wants. I look the places up and they are about 25 minutes away from my work. I head on that way once my work is done and I arrive first. I wait in my car until he texts me to ask which car is mine. I get out of my car and grab my things, now realizing I parked next to a puddle of water and got my shoes a little wet. I laugh it off and say oh well. I see who I presume to be him getting out of a car on the other side of the parking lot. He’s wearing a light pink hoodie, a little different but hey, real men wear pink, right?

I approach him and say hello and give him a hug. We get our masks on and walk into the store. Immediately we are greeted by who I can only assume is the owner of the shop. He is bright and happy and gives us his spiel about the type of beverages they have there. Robert* is being very quiet and is very short with the worker, saying he doesn’t know what he wants and I should go first. I try to describe what I’m going for, and the worker says the exact thing on the menu I want is unavailable due to a delayed shipment, but suggests something else to me and I accept with recommendation. I am done ordering apparently too quickly, as my date is still undecided. The owner ends up just asking him if he likes snickers, the candy bar, and he gives a not-very-believable “Yeah” so the owner suggests to him a shake that is based on those flavor patterns. Robert* is asked if we’re paying together and I look to him, he lets out an apathetic, “sure” and it takes all of my energy not to scoff. The owner tells us that they’re giving discounts out if you advertise the location by sharing a photo on social media and I agree to do so, because why not.

Then it gets a little uncomfortable. The owner is trying to be extra personable and make it a personalized experience, so upon receiving Robert*’s card, he starts referring to him using his name that is on his card. The only thing is, the name I know him by is not the name on the card, nor any fort of that name, like a typical nickname. Under my face mask, I smile and almost laugh to myself like, you dumb bitch who are you even out with rihgt now. Additional peer pressure from the owner also leads to us giving him our emails and signing up for their loyalty program, which also knocks off some cents off our drink. When I give him mine, obviously everything is the same, but when he gives his email, his email does have the name that I knew him by in the address, so I figure okay maybe Robert* is a middle name or something. Because we were under one order, there was also some sort of combo discount included as well since he got a shake and, I, a tea.

As we walk away from the counter and take a seat on a couch maybe 10 feet away, Robert* abruptly asks “what do you think the damage is?” Immediately pulling out his phone and checking the receipt of our drinks. “Uh I don’t know…. Sixteen dollars,” I guess. I am honestly put off by his obsession on price. I understand money issues, but it is not appropriate for first date behavior. I am pretty close, as it is somewhere in the mid $15 range. He scoffs at the prices.

Now that we are sitting together, I am noticing really how disheveled and not put together he looks. He has overgrown stubble, too short to be a beard, but definitely not stubble from just the day. His skin all over his face and body is dry and flaky, especially on his ears. Again, I expect a little more from a man who has had days to prepare for this date. I have been sipping my drink for a while, and it is honestly delicious, one of the best beverages I’ve ever had. He asks if I would like to try his drink. “No thank you, I don’t think it would go well with my fruity drink,” I half lie. The major reason why is that I am weird about sharing drinks/food and that so far I am almost repulsed by him and don’t want to share anything with him.

Despite my lack of optimism already, I try my best to be upbeat and give him a chance. I am trying to start a conversation and ask him questions and get to know him more, but he is a brick wall. He’s just staring at me and not saying anything, occasionally taking sips from his shake. Many of his responses are very sarcastic and rude. He actually brings up the ears; he had a very bad sunburn and that’s why they looked like that. Doesn’t explain the rest of his look though, but at least he was aware of that. It is pretty warm in the shop. I already opted to leave my jacket in the car, but at one point he decided to take off his sweatshirt. Underneath was a red shirt with almost like a confetti cake type pattern, of little microscopic dots of different colors throughout. I compliment the shirt, and mention I have one of a similar type of fabric pattern. I am nodded at. I again continue to try and force conversation, but I am still getting nothing.

Randomly he says, “come here” and puts his arm around me, pulling me close. I am extremely confused, as I was getting very negative vibes from him all over. I make my confusion known by commenting about how that was out of nowhere. His only response is, “oh you know.” “No, I do not know. I have no idea what is going on right now.” He only just chuckles and is like “you’re a cute girl.” I furrow my brow in confusion and figure we should get some air and suggest we take a walk. I ran to my car and put the drink in my car as well as my bag, being light, only having my phone and car keys for the walk. We take off and just walk through a nearby neighborhood. We have maybe 10-15 more minutes until he has to get going so he can get to work in time.

Conversation is still moderately forced, but a little better. At one point, we come up to a tree where the branches overhang drastically over the sidewalk. Whereas before I had been walking on the street side, Robert* has swung around and walked into the street, whereas I choose just to duck under the branches, which is easier with me being shorter, although I would not say he is very tall either. I made a comment about not caring and that he could have just “pushed me into the street/out of the way” and continued on, jokingly, about how you have to put a woman in their place. He says “okay noted I see what you like now,” trying to turn it into something sexual, it seems. I pause a moment, becoming much more serious when I say, “you know I’m kidding. I’ve told you about my abusive relationship so obviously I am not a fan of battering women.” In this moment, he pulls me into an embrace and tries to kiss me. I lean away and ask him, “why is talking about abusing women the time to try and kiss me?” He makes an excuse saying that he just really wanted to kiss me. I lie again, making another excuse about why I don’t want to kiss him, “I’m more old fashioned I guess, I’d like to get to know someone a little better and make sure that we are compatible and know each other well before I do anything.” Again, not entirely untrue. For the five hundredth or so time, Robert* says that I can ask him any questions.

I check my watch and declare, accurately, “We should probably head back towards our cars, you need to head out soon.” We walk back to the parking lot, having idle chitter chatter. When we get to my car, it’s perfect timing, as an alarm he had set to make sure he left on time goes off. I start to say our goodbyes and he tells me again that he wants to kiss me. I make a noise that makes my discomfort known, and he says, “well what about a kiss on the cheek?” I say verbatim, “I’ll allow it.” He makes a sarcastic comment, mocking me about “allowing it.” I retorted back saying, “well yeah.” He sticks to his word and only does a cheek kiss, and I’m cringing and can’t wait to wash my face when I get home. Being polite, I ask for him to let me know when he gets to work.

Using my Apple Carplay, I ask my car to text him when I notice he is driving behind me. Though, as all I’m getting is audio, I don’t know exactly what I am texting until I get home later.

(the first two texts of mine are my car texting and not manually)

Immediately, he asks me my feelings about him.

I then offered Venmo him money for my drink, as obviously money was a huge concern for him. He accepts and sends me his Venmo. I sent him the money and let him know so.

And that is that. He doesn’t text me after that.

#dating #relationships #stpete #florida #tampa #tampabay #hinge #bumble #tinder #datingapps #baddates

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hunbomb · 4 years

Text

finally | lee jeno

word count: 1.9k

genre/warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, reader is a bit younger than jeno (three years) !!! just for literary purposes!!!!!!!! also this isnt proofread rofl

authors note: wait,,, y’all hear sumn??? me posting for the first time in three years???? lmfaooo yes im back guys but probs not consistently,,,, oop. since i don’t have school for three weeks i might as well just write?? lmao idk i haven’t written in so long but anyway im still on my nct shit so why not write for my boi jeno? who is STILL the loml? also this is like fully my first non-bulleted scenario hahaha. this is HEAVILY inspired by a fic on deviantart for eren jaeger!

summary: as your 18th birthday is coming up, you realize there is no better time to confess your long-held feelings for a certain someone.

“You’re not 18 yet, it’s illegal, you know.” His expression was serious, contrasting the infamous eye smile usually seen on his perfectly sculpted face. Your lips tightened to a line in determination as you stared at him, eager to at least get some sort of response to your wild confession.

It was dumb, you realize. Going for your neighbour, who you’ve been in love with for as long as you could remember. At first, everyone (including you) just thought it was the type of crush that little girls have on like 20-year old celebrities. However, a three year age gap is really nothing compared to that, and you knew it wasn’t something small when you would see him take out the garbage for his family, or when he would play basketball on the streets with his friends. When he left for university three years ago, you heart crushed, your longtime dream seemed to be over. But he always comes back for the summer, and you realized this summer, there was a chance at anything happening between you two, so you went for it.

“We could be very careful! Plus, I’m turning eighteen this year!” You underlined with a strong gaze. You weren’t going to cry, hell no. Or, at least you weren’t planning on it, not unless you hear him say he doesn’t love you directly. And from what you remember, he hasn’t yet.

“That won’t work. Plus, all my friends know you’re younger than me we couldn’t even keep it some sort of secret, or something like that.” He shook his head, but you seemed to have perked up at what he said.

“Wait, you talk about me to your friends?” A smile was starting to find its way onto your face as you saw the boy before you get a little flustered. You’ve never met his friends, so how would they know who you are?

“Uh, no.” He seemed to have gotten a bit flustered at your statement, now unable to look you in the eyes, finding his shoes a bit more… fascinating. This indirect confirmation was enough to make you smile wider.

You laugh inwardly at his highschool-like-antics. His sudden nervousness bringing out some unknown confidence. “You know, you were the one who told me not to be scared to saying what I think.”

“I said it because I didn’t think you would confess to me.” He justified, making you take a deep breath of disappointment. Well, this was it. This was pretty much the end of everything. And as much as you’d like to never see his face again, Jeno was your neighbour, and it was the summer, so seeing him would be inevitable.

“So, is this a rejection?” Your voice came out smoothly, unlike the nerves taking over your insides. Jeno’s eyes narrowed briefly as he crossed his arms over his chest and watched your expression. He couldn’t tell you how cute you looked as you stood before him, or how your eyes sparkled and made the stars dull in comparison.

“I don’t know. Do you want it to be?” He questioned. Your eyes widened and you faced him, craning your neck upwards so fast a pop was almost heard. The disappointment you felt slowly disappearing as you looked up with bright eyes to your neighbour.

“No!”

"Then? You tell me what it is." His lips curled upwards and he would never know how much you'd wanted to kiss him back then. You took a breath, tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and stared into his eyes, forming the proper sentence.

The proper sentence. Not too bold, but not too shy. Not too like you, but not too un-like you. Not too detached, but not too clingy. The perfect proper sentence.

“When I turn eighteen, I’ll come and confess to you again.” Not the most perfect sentence, but you were running on emotions, not logic right now. Words were flying off your tongue so fast you wouldn’t even dare to stop them. You looked to the side, trying to avoid his gaze, but your eyes betrayed you and flickered back to him. His expectant yet knowing smile widened, his eyes turning into small crescents. And that was all it took before you, once again, lost control over your words. “And you’ll tell me you love me too!” You almost choked on the words as they left your mouth, making Jeno’s smile turn into a chuckle.

“That’s pretty bold.” He stated, his eye smile shining like a pile of diamonds. Then his hand went through his hair, fingers going through his soft black hair as you dreamt of yours doing so may times.

“You do promise me you’ll say it, right?” Your gaze was penetrating and your lips were pulled back in anticipation. What you were expecting was a nod, or some sort of verbal confirmation. What you got, was neither of those two things.

Jeno’s lips curled up again, his eyes disappearing. “We’ll see.”

Once again, a breath of disappointment left your lips and you sighed in defeat. If he was this adamant on not telling you his answer, he might as well have said no already, instead of continuing to string you along. God, why was this man so annoying, yet so perfect at the same time?

“Promise me!” You partially whined, because of how he seemed to be avoiding everything His hand reached out to ruffle your hair but you pushed it away and stared up at him expectantly. What you wanted was a promise, and he knew he had to give you one, because that would probably be the only thing keeping him from chickening out at your next confession.

“Fine. I promise I will give you a definite answer next time. I’m not promising what the answer will be, however.” Despite Jeno thinking his words would upset you further, they didn’t (he suspected because you already knew he liked you, considering he hasn’t formally rejected you yet).

“Then expect me to be back soon!” You joked, grinning so widely it was like he told you he loved you instead.

Jeno nodded slowly, his chest erupting into butterflies at the fact that you returned the feelings he’s had for quite some time, as he watched you leave his house.

“You can come in, you know,” Jeno says as he steps to the side, letting you enter his house. You leaned on his staircase as he did the same against his wall, and although you were confident, there was still a small part of you hesitating. You'd practiced this enough times to know you'd memorized perfectly each and every word you wanted to say, but the mirror never once gave you an answer that could identify with the one Lee Jeno would give you in just a few seconds.

“I’m eighteen now…” You started. Your voice was steady and you tried to look as confident as you could. He stepped forward, coming off the wall and making his way towards you, stopping just in front, as close as he had stood exactly three months prior during your first confession. His gaze was firm as well, but there was something along the edges of his calm features that told you this time may not go as smoothly.

“I know.” He stated casually, not addressing any sort of implication behind those two words, leaving you to dry like a fish out of water.

“So I’m not underage anymore.” You added, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you kept an eye on the male to decided to play dumb, even though he knew exactly where the conversation was going. Jeno nodded thoughtfully and his head was tilted innocently to the side, but his eyes were carefully tracing your every feature and how it reacted to his words. He wanted to test how long you'd draw this out for, but that didn't really matter since the real test here regarded his own restraint and how long it would hold.

“One of the things that comes with it, yes.” He drew out with a smile, making you take a deep breath and stare determinedly at him. And for a moment, Jeno felt like he was back in his thirteen-year-old self babysitting you and your ten-year-old self asked for a snack. This time though, you were eighteen and he was twenty-one, and the snack you wanted was him.

“So--”

“So?” He cut you off, watching your expression gradually turn more and more impatient with every minute that passes by. He was just as desperate for you to get the point as you were, and he wanted to see you reach it.

Your features contorted in mild anger before you took hold of your feelings and calmed down a bit. Only a bit. Your eyebrows were furrowed and your mouth was pouting stubbornly. God, it was so adorable he couldn't help narrowing his eyes at you softly. You looked like such a kid yet at the same time had matured considerably over the years.

“So be with me!”

It left your mouth abruptly, reminding you of how you lost control over your words during your first confession. Jeno softly smiled in response. “That’s not what I promised.”

Your flustered face, and now downcast eyes were enough to remind him not to chicken out last minute. He stepped closer to you, the space between you both getting smaller and smaller. Big, warm hands engulfed yours and you lifted your face to see his. His eyes had transformed into small crescents once again as he stared longingly into yours.

“Before you think this is going where you may think it’s going, let me speak,” he stated, “when you were younger, I never really thought of you that way. You were six, and I was nine. You definitely weren’t in my thoughts at all.”

You grimaced at that.

“But, as time passed, and we grew up, you grew on me. Soon, I started to want to hang out with you, and I would make sure to play basketball when I knew you were back from school so you could see me as you were walking home.” He smiled sheepishly.

“At first I thought it was because I just liked your presence, but when I left for university, and saw your face, I fully registered that I was in love with you. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t come back every summer. You know I only come back for you, right?”

With that, your heart leaped out of your chest, like a firework ready to explode. A smile started to make its way onto your face as you stared at the boy you have loved for so long.

He loves you back.

He continued, “you made me wait a lot you know. It was hard for me to look at you and not kiss you. Especially after your first confession. God, you have no clue what you did to me.”

You leaned up and pressed your lips to his, sighing in satisfaction as he brought his hands to your face and kissed you back. When you pulled away, he brought your face back in and kissed you again, more passionately, trying to convey what he’s been feeling into the kiss.

“I love you so much,” he said between kisses.

“I love you too.”

Finally.

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rvnjun · 4 years

Text

should've known | lee jeno

genre: super power au! angst warnings: graphic death scene, blood, and obvi death a/n: im proud of this one but it made me want to go back and rewrite parts of haechan and jaemins fic :\

The Dream Team M.List

jeno wasn't born with his powers which caused he a lot of damage

he had to learn to adapt to life with them, had to suffer the unexpected consequences of suddenly having powers

12 years old, his parents were cooking dinner while he played video games

it was a new game so he was still in the midst of creating his character and choosing his weapon

luckily he had his homework done so he had extra time to decide and play

unluckily he was planning them at the wrong time

a lab was doing experiments on a person with creation powers nearby

the lab surged with power, sending waves of electricity straight to jenos game

his body jolted and erupted with electric shock, the weapons on the game manifesting themselves into his head

screaming in pain weapons began to spread around the room, all the weapons on his game taking form in real life

his parents were so scared, they rushed him to the hospital, weapons piling in the car

he was treated for electrical burns and introduced to a power therapist who he would end up spending most of his days with

they didnt want jeno, they didnt want a freak of a son

the power therapist took care of him and made him feel semi normal

he had to transfer schools because he got kicked out of his old one

as unfair as it seemed, they had a right to kick him out

unable to fully control his powers still he was constantly making weapons appear at random times

which put the kids and teachers around him in danger

he spent a few months which his power specialist working on school work

before he finally had his powers under control to the point he could choose when to summon a weapon

and that moment was when his power specialist changed his life once more

he sat him down and looked jeno in the eyes “Jeno you have a gift, not many people have the ability to do what you can do. now what you choose to do with it is up to you. in the meantime i know some kids I think you'd get along with well.”

haechan and jaemin, two other kids with powers

they were funny and talkative, he got along with them easily

and most importantly, they never judged him for his powers

they thought they were amazing

jeno had always seen his powers as a curse, his own parents never looked at him the same

but the specialist, haechan, and jamein all had the same look in their eyes

awe and curiosity

the three of them were close friends when they met renjun, a feisty chinese transfer student with drawing manifestation powers

together the 4 of them started a team

despite how much his powers scared him, hearing the way haechan and renjun talked made him want to

besides, he knew that if something went wrong and they ended up urt, theyd always have jaemin there with his bright smile

joining their future super team were chenle and jisung, both introduced to them by the power specialist

together they formed The Dream Team

a super powered team of seemingly ordinary teenagers who did their best to stop crime and unlike most villains, use their powers for good

all they wanted was to help others and give the gifted a good name again

jeno felt like the past years of his life were a rollercoaster, full of so many ups and downs

he was finally happy thanks to The Dream Team

for the first time in years he felt normal thanks to his friends

after years of pain jeno deserved it

that's when he met you and his life got even better

y/n l/n, another gifted

jeno met you after a fight, The Dream Team was hugging each other on their job well done when you approached

you'd been watching them the whole time without them knowing

curious by what they were doing and their powers you used your own to spy

if someone asked jeno what his first impression of you was it wouldn't be hard, he’d tell them that your powers suited you

you were awkwardly, fumbling over your words as you tried to speak to them

it was hard for you to explain what you were trying to

after nearly 10 minutes of you trying to talk and haechan complaining you finally spit it out

“i was watching you guys and i want to help you. now my powers might seem very useless to you guys but if you really think about it, i could be very helpful. i could make a great distraction!”

jeno wanted you to join right away but he knew the others wouldn't agree

haechan looked at everyone and spoke up “ well a) we don't even know what your powers are and b) this team kinda consists of friends and you dear person are a stranger who is nameless im assuming as you didn't even tell us your name,,if you have one ”

you immediately looked away at his words before stomping your foot on the ground and pouting

“MY NAME IS Y/N L/N AND I CAN TURN INVISIBLE!” you yelled at the top of your lung startling everyone

obviously you went invisible and jeno freaked out

“no wait y/n don't go! we won't let you join right away but you can hang out with us to see how things go!” he hollard earning him looks from his friends

they could tell why jeno was so eager for you to join, the fool had fallen in love by simply staring at you

the rest was history

you joined The Dream Team as their manager/assistant type of person, soon after you and jeno started dating, and of course you became friends with them all

jeno loved you, you were always there for him and putting a smile on his face

you both got shy from affection so you never did any in front of the boys but that didn't stop them from teasing you nonetheless

almost everyday you and jeno went to a cafe for drinks

“would you rather have your current powers or haechans power?”

youd ask making jeno laugh “i think id rather have mine because if I had haechans powers,,i might not have met my friends or most importantly,,you”

jeno and you were in love, both having rough pasts where neither of you were born with your powers and a freak accident caused them, and both of your parents abandoned you and you moved in with a close friend

which only made you guys closer

one of the things jeno loved about you the most was how caring you were during a fight, especially the particularly bad ones

like the time jenos nose was broken after getting smashed in the face with a cat figurine

you pouted and told jeno you wished you were jaemin and could heal him with your smile

which caused jaemin to jokingly yell at you saying that healing smile was his thing and you needed to get your own brand

today was one of those bad fights

the boys went in to fight what at first was only one villain but that one villain had a team they didn't know about

the boys were almost all separated

renjun was drawing as fast as he could, his creations starting to look more and more like a 5 yr old drew them

the weather was close to a hurricane thanks to haechan

jaemin was freaking out and smiling like a psychopath , without knowing who he was if you saw him you'd think he escaped from an insane asylum

chenle and jisung were together, about to pass out from using so much power

it was going bad but it got even worse when jeno got separated from the rest

trapped in a room with one of the bad guys he felt his panic arrise

‘i dont have time for this,’ he thought, images of his friends struggling flashing in his head

the guy lunged forward and hit jeno with a good blow, blood splattering on the wall

jeno felt his panic be replaced with anger

he was practically shaking from his irritated he was

“i know about you and your team, i know who you really are. you're a bunch of highschool kids, did you really think you could beat us?” the asshole spoke

jeno stared up at him as he added one “i know you're dating that freaky bitch that goes invisible to distract us.”

the smirk on the guys face made jeno feel disgusted

hearing the words he spoke not only about his friends but you sent him over the edge

you were the guys that saved jeno

“where is that bitch anyway? arent they normally he-” he didn't get to finish his sentence

swords appeared in the air, piercing through the air at rapid speed

the man was stabbed multiple times

he gurgled up his own blood, coughing in pain as he fell onto the floor

“fucking bitch,” he said while clutching his chest in pain

jeno was about to leave when he heard a horrible sound

“je,,,jeno,” a disturbed sweet honey-like voice coughed out

his stomach dropped and his heart felt heavy

“y,,,y/n?” he turned around, tears already pouring down his face

your ribs had been broken like twigs, gashes oozed with that desparible red liquid, your mouth was hanging slightly open as more of the liquid steadily poured out

your face began to pale, your eyes already looked lifeless

falling against the wall you slid down, a trail of blood being left behind from where your back was placed

“I just wanted to help,” your voice was barely above a whisper, you sounded so broken

“y/n!!” jeno screamed almost as loud as chenle

running to you his knee betrayed him and gave out inches form your body

“oh my god,,what have i done,” he involuntarily sobbed, body shaking from screams

warm tears flowed down his cheeks like a waterfall, leaving behind a wet trail of despair

“no no no,,oh my god,, JAEMIN!!!!” he screamed for his friend to come save you

if you saw his smile, if you saw Jaemin you would be fine like it never happened

only a few seconds had passed but jeno was screaming out begging for jaemin to hear him and come

getting closer to your body, jeno wrapped his arms around and held you

not caring about the copious amounts of blood covering his clothes

“you'll be okay y/n, jaemin is gonna save you,” he didn't sound sure, it was as if he was convincing himself instead of you

you never spoke or moved, all you did was stare at jeno

rising slowly, you painfully and involuntarily took in more breaths

your lungs, it felt as if they were being ripped apart from the inside, only filling with more blood

“i,,i just wanted to help,” you barely managed to get out before your breathing stopped entirely and head falling onto jenos shoulder

his mind, blanked of everything

every thought, every memory, everything was gone

everything except one thing, you

your image burned in his head

the wind was knocked out of him, his while body felt numb, he couldn't breathe

he knew he was breathing but he kept choking

the tears blurred his vision as they rapidly fell

he felt so hopeless, he,,he killed you

he should've known you were in the room with him, like you'd ever let him get separated from everyone

you always came to the fights as a backup or distraction

“I should've known,” he cried

jaemin,,he wanted to be mad at him, he wanted to scream and hit him, make him suffer the way you did but he couldn't

jaemin was busy, probably exhausted form smiling and using his powers

the door to the room creaked open

jeno assumed it was his friends, if not it was the villains and that meant everyone except him was dead

“oh my god jeno what happened,” renjun spoke, rushing to jenos side

jisung stared with his mouth hung open, wondering how he never knew this would happen, he gripping tightly on chenles arm

chenle let out a ear piercing yelp as he leaned closer to jisung

haechan stared at your lifeless body, rain starting to pour matching his tears

jaemins heart stopped when he saw the damage, knowing that he could've saved you

“y/n,,y/n,” jaemin cried while smiling at you praying that it would work

the tension in the room only grew as each other second past

each member of the team morning in their own way for their fallen

y/n l/n the “nameless’ stranger who approached them with wishes to be one of them, y/n l/n the loveable person who lit up jenos dark world more than is friends ever could, y/n l/n the mysterious invisible member of the dream team who just wanted to help

#nct #nct imagines #nct scenairos #nct angst #nct fluff #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #jeno #jeno imagines #jeno scenarios #jeno fluff #jeno angst #the dream team au

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quackspot · 4 years

Note

i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me”

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful.

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground.

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??”

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.”

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could.

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed.

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs.

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????”

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca. ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.”

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

#I REALLY WENT SLIGHTLY OFF-TOPIC #like i went broader then refocused in at the end #so if you want the basics its just. right at the end #my brain's out of work mode now it's going into the deepfry machine #melon-official

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dredreadsdrawing · 4 years

Text

2/28/2020 - 2/29/2020

Combined two days because I only wrote ideas the 28th, and sketched the new boi the 29th.

Ideas on Bart’s Friend, newly named Hosea!:

- He’s taller than Bart, but skinny like a pencil. He has big round glasses that make his eyes look bigger than they are. He has long, choppy hair he grew out and likes to take care of.

- ..... through drawing him, especially the last expression, i mentally give him a dorky deep voice that has a slight drawl. He talks slowly, and usually stumbles over his words, giving people the impression that he’s not as smart as he is. HE never raises his voice; it’s permanently stuck in a low, calm, and gentle tone. Imma try to find something close to this as an example, cries.

- i really like my boy, double cries.

- He moved with his mother and father into town after his father lost his job. At this time, Bart is 11, and so is the new kid.

- The town kids were curious about him at first, and crowded him to know more about the city. Quickly, though, his answers bored them, and his affinity for reading rather than playing turned them away from wanting to stick around, and he got lonely quick.

- He found Bart the first day of school, the only kid reading during every break, and he nervously got the guts to approach him. Bart was very cautious at first, suspicious. thinking that the town kids sent him for a prank, but Hosea was incredibly earnest in his interest, and got excited when Bart mentioned a series he liked. Needless to say, Bart was quickly won over.

- That day, they started their friendship by talking about the few non-horror books Bart had read. The next, Bart was ready to show him his whole collection, sure to impress him(!), when he noticed Hosea’s mom. And their prayer before school. And her insistence of him to be a good boy and to not let himself be corrupted by the other kids. Bart overheard all of this from a bush, and was struck, remembering the words of caution Minnie told him before. ‘Some people will run for fear of their religious rules. They don’t perceive their gods as merciful.’

- He didn’t want to lose his first friend. He hid his interest in horror and the arcane, in the process, visiting Minnie’s manor less, and picking up more books Hosea would recommend instead.

- A month in, their friendship is going great, but through misfortune, Bart runs into Hosea as he came back from buying the latest monster novel of his favorite series. He hides it and tries to flee, only to hit his head on the door and drop the book. Hosea picks it up. Instead of running in terror like Bart imagined in his dreams, Hosea beams. He’d always wanted to read this series! But his mom would never let him even look at their covers. He’s stumbling with his words as he describes the few books he’d seen and what he imagined they were about, his face flushing from excitement, and Bart takes it all in. His worries melting, he smiles back and responds to all of his questions, explaining a few of the monsters, and reassuring him the scares were fun and worth finishing every book for. By the time they finish jabbering, Bart offers letting him read the books after school in his house, and Hosea agrees. Their bond got a little deeper that day.

- Two more months roll by and they manage to get Hosea through most of the books; their time holed up in Bart’s room, reading, becoming their favorite hours of the day. Sometimes Hosea has to leave a little earlier, other times he’s a little more quiet, but he never skips their hang out hours. Bart thinks he just needs to be alone sometimes and he doesn’t mind.

- Bart visits Minnie again, though less frequently than before. Their studies are going slower, their sessions mostly consisting of Bart ranting about his new friend instead. She doesn’t mind. She has her hands full with something else.

- Their calm time gets so gradually comfortable, that Bart doesn’t notice how close they’ve gotten until it hits him that he’s reading his Detective Drew book while laying his head on top of the napping boy. He’s eleven, and he’s never had a friend before. He doesn’t know if this is normal. He begins questioning every unconscious action they share, trying to analyze them using what little information he knows from books.

- He eventually told himself that they had simply reached that close level of friendship that the protagonists from his adventure/fantasy series had, and didn’t worry about it anymore, until-

- Hosea had been getting teased at school more for being the teacher’s favorite. One of the town boys had a crush on her, and took out his frustration by picking on Hosea when she wasn’t looking. Bart would always defend him, though, so they never got farther than a shove and some name calling. The town boy switched tactics one afternoon and went for Bart instead. He targeted him as he waited for Hosea to finish helping the teacher. The town boy mocked him on as many insecurities as he could, most of them deflecting until he brought up Hosea. He claimed Hosea only stuck with him because he was the only kid his mom let him hang out with, that he was so tiny and pathetic, poor Hosea was bored all the time. (idk shitty taunts about how Bart never actually scared the boy off, he just thought Bart was so funny looking he couldn’t keep a straight face, and Hosea was more embarrassed by him than anything. That they’re not real friends and Bart has been an annoyance all along.) Bart doesn’t really believe it, but little doubts nudge in and he wants to run. He barely turns around to bolt home when he hears a smack. He turns around and sees Hosea standing over the boy, having rammed him.

- Hosea yells at him to stop talking to Bart like that. He defends Bart, jumbling his words as he tries to talk faster than his normal speed, but his sentiment is clear. Bart is his best frien!. Bart is the coolest, the funnest, and he could certainly kick the boy’s butt onto next Sunday if he wanted to! The boy gets up and tries for intimidation, but Bart moves in to kick his leg. As the boy yowls, he takes Hosea’s hand and they run before any adults come. They stop to catch their breath in an dirty alley. Hosea is concerned if they’ll get in trouble for starting violence, but Bart reassures him. After a pause of contemplation, Bart asks him if what he said was true. Hosea is back to tripping on his words, but he spills all of his feelings. He admires Bart, and honestly thinks of him as the coolest kid he’s ever met. He wants to be more like him; strong, reliable, and honest. Both kids are embarrassed by the praise, Bart’s quickened heart making his mind race with it. This moment wasn’t reminding him of any scenes with the protagonists of his fantasy books. This was more like the scene of Detective Drew where his assistant confesses to him her love.

- He tries to shrug it off by awkwardly accepting the compliments and extra awkwardly praising Hosea too “I.... like that you’re smart?” They walk to his house in silence, but Bart’s mind is a battle. He tells himself this was nothing like that scene; no way did Hosea feel like that towards him! (But what if-) Nonono, no need to be silly. They get to his room and they start their reading, but Bart can’t focus on any words. He keeps rationalizing his friend’s behaviors to himself in a cycle, trying to force himself to accept that he was misinterpreting everything..... but for whatever reason not being able to let it go. He’s at his wits end by the time their hang out time is over, and he walks Hosea out. Hosea asks him if he was ok; he noticed how quiet Bart had been. Bart presses his lips and looks away. He confesses he’s still processing being called cool. Hosea fidgets for a while at the door. When Bart raises his eyes to see why, he notices Hosea’s face is back to blushing. “... B-But you a-are. You’re my hero.” Both boys’ eyes widen, and Hosea can’t even let out a farewell before booking it out. Bart is floored, overcome with new emotions of self-consciousness and awe.

- He’s in a daze during dinner and he can’t sleep that night. It’s only while rereading the last book of his fantasy series that he realizes there WAS a passage where both protagonists greatly praised one another... before going into battle. The protagonists end it with a hug, and Bart becomes aware of the new-found implications their past actions could be given. He realizes he might have been projecting the same expectations to Hosea. And he becomes scared as he starts to recognize what it was he was feeling when Hosea complimented him.

... Bart liked Hosea.

- Lololol went into story mode. shit. Hopefully I can keep going cuz.. Im sticking pretty hard to this story so far. As the song goes, let’s see how far we(I) go ;w;

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doux-ciel · 4 years

Text

Gift of Life. The art of flirting

Tagged: @sugarmommamusings @harrybpoetry @seraphilth @writing-under-the-stars @godxblooded @youngdumbxlit @jadeswritinggarden @jess---writes @bambimattel @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @viviscreams @oceanscorazon

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S*

If so click here -> ✨ ✨ ✨

*Let me Know if you want to be added or removed*

Masterlist: 🖤 🖤 🖤

As the beginning of February rolls around; there is still snow on the ground. Nova and I are just getting out of our 3 p.m. class when I was scrolling through Facebook Nova asks, “Did you check out the place?”

As I open the door to exit the technology building I nod referring to Gifting Miracles, I look up giving her a grin. “Yeah. I think I might be a surrogate, I really need the money.”

After I let her exit her and then I follow suit; out of the corner of my right eye I see Nova’s body shivering, the strong winds mixed with the cold air was getting to her. As she begins to whine about how it was never this cold in Sussex I laugh at how she was bundled up in her scarf and gloves. She turns to me, her voice sounding muffled as her face is buried in her hands. “I get it, you better get one of those rich people, I heard they might even let you stay in there place for free.”

I scoff, while placing my phone in the pocket of my coat. “If it happens I better be staying there for free. I am carrying their baby.”

She continues to walk next to me, looping her arm underneath my right arm. “Anyway what else happened?”

I start to explain the conversation I had with the coordinator. “Well they said I needed to fill out an application which I did shortly after talking with the coordinator. She called like two days ago, thankfully I got accepted. Next is the screening, then an interview all of this should take place in spring‍.”

Her eyes light up as she looks across the campus, my eyes follow hers. I discover a hot chocolate stand and I immediately know why she led me out the door so quickly. “So exciting”

“Exciting? I’m gonna be miserable for 9 months”

“Well exciting for them...but girl just think after this you won’t have I ask your mom for nothing, now you can take of yourself”

Another arm loops around my other arm getting my attention. “Yesenia”

As if we were reading each other’s minds Nova and I rolled our eyes, while both greeting the 5’8 hockey player. “Hey Knoxx”

Knoxx gives me that signature grin, a snaggletooth peeking behind his pink lips. “You wanna come and study with me later?”

I retract my arm away from him as we walk up to the hot chocolate stand. I was currently taking 4 classes none of which he attended. Studying was his way of saying I want you drop those pants in his language. “Slow down cowboy, I thought you were hanging out with Carli tonight”

His thick eyebrows furrow into confusion as if he had no idea what I was talking about. Placing his hands in his dark blue coat his voice is taut, “Who told you that?”

Nova who was behind 2 people spoke up, “All the girls in African American history said you and her were going to sit by the fire at 6.”

Chuckling he focuses his robins egg blue eyes on anything but me. Shrugging he replies, “So what if we are?...I can get back early and spend the rest of the night with you.”

I scoff at his comment while looking at Nova, she’s giving me a thumbs down. Crossing my arms in front of my body I glare at him. “I don’t need Carli’s sloppy seconds Knox.

It was now Nova’s turn to get her desired hot chocolate, she put her order in and was waiting for her hot beverage. She turns her body towards him, letting out a breath. “Knoxx you really need to stick to just one girl”

“Listen Nova I don’t need just one girl, I’m here to help the community with my experience.”

I step closer to Knoxx; making us just inches apart from each other I whisper while lightly touching his jeans. “What experience are we talking about exactly?”

Looking up at the sky he lets out a hearty laugh. Looking directly into my eyes he states in a cocky tone. “You already know what experience I’m talking about Yesenia, so what’s your answer...your room at 7:45?”

In a simple but direct tone I answer him while hitting his arm, “You better wear a condom with her.”

“I always do” he replies, after our short conversation he says he has to go before he’s late to pick up his older brother from work and just like that he’s gone.

Nova while taking a sip of her hot beverage asks, “Why do you two use each other like that?”

My lips twist up and I let out a sigh. “Nova I don’t want to hear it”

“No, I’m going to tell you Yesenia you need to find-”

I interrupt her waving my left hand in the air, “I know I know, a nice guy who will treat me right”

Nova rolls her eyes, “Exactly...so why aren’t you doing it?”

“Because he’s great in bed”

“Yesenia!!”

“What I’m serious, that man know how to make a girl scream.”

“Your nasty you know that?”

¤ ¤ ¤

I check the time, it is now 7:36 p.m. and I know I was late to come over to my mother's house and clean up for her. Knowing she gets off around 7 p.m. I need to get started.

Just as I was rising up from my seat on the city bus I receive a text from Knoxx.

After our “study session” which lasted longer than usual I knew I was going to spend the night on my mothers couch. My mind is telling me no but my body is reacting differently. Brushing that feeling away I walk off the city bus and make my way to her front door, putting the key in the lock I unlock the door and slowly open it.

“Mom?”

Looking around the small apartment I see her shoes by the door but I don't see her, she’s probably taking her bath. So instead of interrupting I decide to set my coat on the nearby coat rack and begin to start the cleaning process of my mothers 1 bedroom apartment.

As I'm cleaning I remember the memories of her waking me out of my sleep on a Sunday morning with Salsipuedes playing loud like we didn't have neighbors right next to us.

After about 15 minutes of cleaning the living room which consisted of vacuuming, dusting, I even wiped off the clock that was on the wall. I begin to make my way over to the kitchen, I immediately go to the oven and take out the various pots and pans that lay in the small convection oven and place them on the nearby counter top.

After I get all of the kitchen cookware in their correct places, I bend down near the stove to start cleaning when I hear my mother’s voice behind me.

“Que demonios” (what the hell) I feel my mother walk closer to me, turning my head I see her seamed face with her large nose flared, her thick dark brown eyes arched upwards as her lips frowned.

“Que” (What) I answer, my eyes shifting back and forth from the living room and back to her.

Rolling her eyes she turns her head the other way looking away from me, she suppresses her anger with a huff. Placing her hand on my shoulder, “Why do you clean up for me some days of the week when you know I can clean for myself? It’s what I do mija.”

“Mom I know you're tired when you come home...besides I want to help you like you’ve helped me”

She chuckles, “I'm your mother it’s my job to help you...or else CPS would’ve got involved a long time ago.”

She clicks her tongue, moving quickly to gather the pots and pans. “¿Por qué mueves mis ollas y sartenes?” (Why are you moving my pots and pans?)

“Here we go” I mouthed.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing mom” I mumbled.

“You didn’t clean the living room right either” she ranted as she points to the coffee table which had a small piece of dust on it.

My mouth ajar at her comment, I rise up from my bended position placing the sponge in the sink I exclaimed. “I cleaned it exactly how you showed me!”

Her eyes slowly lift up towards me face, “Are you getting loud with me?”

Met with nothing but silence on her end, her eyes shooting daggers my way I stand there with my mouth shut and my eyes focused on her.

I see her walk to the sink, “Let me clean, I can clean my own place” getting ready to start on the dishes she loses her balance and bumps into the counter.

I rush over to her placing my hand on her arm, she winces in pain as she quickly retracts her arm from my hand, “Don’t touch...I’m fine”

Her job working as a housekeeper for this rich family is taking a toll on her body, everyday for the past 3 months she has come home tired, aching and she can barely cook dinner for herself. It angers me to see my mother in so much pain but she just takes it as working hard but I’m seeing it as nearly killing herself for a paycheck.

She has now started to wash the dishes, she has a cup in her hand and she is running it over the water.

Kissing my teeth with a frown etched on my face I walk up to her taking the sponge out her hand, “Your tired mom please go sit down”

She tries to grab the sponge from me, “Pero-” (but)

I give her a stern look while bumping my hip to hers, motioning her to move away from the sink, “Ve y siéntate” (go and sit down)

As I'm putting up the clean towels and washcloths that I had folded; I rest on the couch near my mother.

Placing my head on her shoulder, I breath in the faint smell of lavender on her skin as she places her arm around me.

“Whats going on?” She asks with her eyes closed.

“Hmm?” I replied.

Kissing her teeth she asks again, “With you Yesenia? Your schooling”

Grabbing a nearby pillow I start to meddle with the beading, “Don't worry about it mom”

I look over at her waiting for a reaction, she opens her eyes and her eyebrows draw together, “Don't worry? My daughter is now attending college and might not graduate and you want me to be fine with it?”

“I'm handling it”

In the back of my mind I was freaking out because I don't know if the surrogate agency is going to place me with a family who can pay me the money I'm needing to pay off my schooling. Lying to her and to myself I look into her eyes seeing the bags underneath; I take her hands into mine. Giving her a faint smile,“Yes it’s all under control.”

“Yesenia…”

Shushing her I lead her over to her bedroom, as she sits down on her very old queen sized mattress I start to lift her feet up to place them under the covers. I quietly say to her, “Your always taking the weight of the world on your shoulders” As she gets comfortable in her current position, I place a kiss on her forehead and walk over to the entryway, turning my head to see her one last before I leave the room.

“Not this time” I whisper, flicking the light off I close the door and let my mother get the rest she deserves.

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abthepoet · 4 years

Text

All my friends are dead.

Something strange is trending in my life.

All my friends die.

At the beginning of my sophmore year in college, my roommate from freshman year died tragically in a single vehicle car crash. Her name was Allison Lynam. We called her Blake. She was sassy and funny and I wish I would've taken more time to know her.

The rain was torrential the night she died. I swear I've never seen it rain that hard ever again in my life. She drove to the store along Highway 36 in Long Branch,NJ. She had off campus housing that year and had to use the highway often. The road was terribly flooded the night she died. Im told she hydroplaned, spun, and T-boned the driver side smack into an electrical pole. Her family still decorates it.

At that very same moment, in my dorm room nearby, I was watching TV when the lights suddenly flickered and dimmed. A brown out.

I had no idea but that was my friend crashing into a pole and dying. She was 19 years old.

I know this because that accident happened near the mall. That accident killed the power to nearby businesses.

I later found out that the road she died on was so badly flooded, the police intended to close it. Why they didnt get to it in time, I'll never know. Maybe that's fate.

Then there was Jessica Blain. Jessica Blain was a firecracker of a human being. She was 100% unmistakable. One of the loudest, funniest, most loyal people and friends I have ever met. She was also an incredibly gifted singer and I was lucky enough to have Chorus with her. We, along with a small group of friends, founded a new greek organization on our campus, Alpha Xi Delta. We were paired up as Twins. (you can't have Bigs & Littles when you're just starting the Family Tree). We named the family we formed Fuck Up Your Shit. Because that's what we'd do for a friend. I miss her laugh most of all. It was loud and unapologetic. She was there for me, supportive, and encouraging without me ever having to ask. The night I officially finished college we all went out to the local gay club, The Colosseum. I got wasted, of course. But Jess was the person who when I shouted 'I have to pee' on the ride home, she stopped and knocked on strangers doors and asked to let me use their bathrooms. Nobody said yes so she held my hand while I peed on a fence instead. I remember the last time we spoke. She was at a concert with a mutual friend. We hadn't spoken much since I graduated, she was still in school.

She died in her dorm room bed on Halloween as a result of asphyxiation during an epileptic seizure. She was 20 years old. The news was broken to me that very same Halloween night as I floated along in NY on a concert cruise. The World/Inferno Friendship Society decided to host Hallowmas, their annual event, on a boat this year. Nothing like being trapped on a musical boat while you grieve. I had messaged her AIM late that night to say hi. She had an away message up. I may have sent a message to a dead person. I miss her friendship more than I realize sometimes.

That brings us to James Padden. James was a warm, snuggly bear of a guy who always tried to do the right thing and let me steal his hoodies. He insantly became my best friend in a Stepbrothers-esque manner. I met James working overnights at Wawa in Leonardo, NJ. I forget how it started now, but we were standing in front of the deli and I think I tossed him a broom or he already had one. . . I cant remember now.. . . but he just took one look at me with that mischievous little twinkle that I quickly returned and we instantly began sword fighting with our brooms. Like two little boys playing pretend and having a ball. He was sweet and silly and kind. I needed a ride, and he loved to drive. Our first winter as friends, we went out doing donuts in the snow. I barely knew him, but I felt safe. We smoked a ton of weed and had so many adventures trying to procure more. One time, we got so high driving to a Dropkick Murphys concert in NY we kept going in circles, missed almost the entire show save for the last 3-5 numbers, and had a blast. I can barely remember the night, but I remember laughing hard in that car. No one could talk to me like James. We were both insecure being chubby kids and adults, but so charismatic and grandiose that I sometimes thought we were the only two who would put up with listening to each others wild ideas and ridiculous banter. We would smoke joints and take adderall and talk about everything and anything. I miss the safety and closeness I felt with him. We were always 100% platonic, but we could nap together, I could walk into his house and jump on him in bed and wake him up. Then we would cook ourselves a breakfast feast and hit the beach. He taught me to always take the back roads. I gave him advice on the ladies. He taught me about fixing cars. I helped shave his back. He called his new pick up truck, a pick'um up truck. We could wax philosophical all damn day and not get sick of each other.

It wasnt just driving he loved, it was going fast. Like so many young white men, he had tendency to be a little reckless. The universe gave him a pass only so many times.

I'll never forget when he got his motorcycle. It was the last time I saw him. It was a bright green crotch rocket. He loved lime green. I was doing yoga in the living room when I heard this obnoxious engine rev down my street. I asked myself, who the hell is making this noise?! And it was James, grinning from ear to ear with a matching helmet on his shiny new toy.

before he left I said, 'you die on that thing, I'll bring you back to life and kill you." I remember giving him this very long and intentional hug and not knowing why I felt compelled to hang on.

When he left and hopped back on the bike, I felt compelled again and took a video of him riding away from my driveway until he was entirely out of sight.

That's my very last memory of him alive. James Padden died on Thanksgiving five days after his 25th birthday. He went out for a joyride on his bike before dinner, opened up to 100mph around a curve where he couldn't see a car pulling out around the bend in time. They called a medevac, but he died on scene. I loved James dearly and I regret drifting apart after we both left Wawa and I started a new relationship. He had stuff too, but in hindsight it never seems important.

Then there's JB. I will always remember JB for his kindness and generosity. The very first time I finally worked up the nerve to go to a poetry slam, I was alone and terrified. I had no idea what to expect. JB was the very first person to turn around, introduce himself, and welcome me. He made me feel like I belonged. Years later, when I won the title of Grand Slam Champion, he immediately offered to help coach me for national competition. Except, I didn't see the messages and left them unanswered, which I deeply regret. When I started hosting my own open mic a few years after that, JB would be one of the only people to consistently come support the show both as an audience member and participant. It was at a pizza joint and he would sometimes buy me food when I had no money. He wrote beautiful poems about his two young daughters and how much they inspired him. JB always tried to make people laugh but you could tell he carried a sadness. I did not get details, but from what I have gathered he made a choice to end his life. I wish I would have gotten closer to him and appreciated him more as a friend and person. I wonder if he felt no one cared about him and I feel like I should've let him know more.

Which brings us to Crys. Crystopher Anthony Diaz was a Scorpio with a big heart and a big personality. I met him on Myspace back in the day and started Web camming. We became friends and eventually fell into this gray area of friends, together, but not. It wasn't long before I was spending days at his place, killing hours at a time downloading music, making Wawa runs, and smoking weed with his roommate at the time, Syd. You know, the whole reason I worked at Wawa was Crys suggesting it. And Wawa is the reason I met James. Crys was unlike anyone I'd ever met. He was poetic and artistic and loved animals, especially pit bulls. He loved to draw and write and had this very out loud style that favored Earth tones. He taught me about fashion and insisted on getting dressed even if it was 1am and we were just going to Wawa because you never know who you might see. We would buy new clothes at Walmart and have photo shoots. That boy drank his weight in coffee daily. If it's one thing I'll always remember him for, it's the dancing. Dancing was a passion of his and always used to talk about wanting to form a dance crew. Eventually, we ended up living together for four years. My first apartment was with him in this piece of shit duplex rented to us by a slumlord in Keansburg,NJ. My relationship with him was always defined by our Aries/Scorpio dynamic and he never let me forget it. His birthday was October 30th, mischief night. One time, after we had moved into a new place, we decided to get revenge on our old downstairs neighbor by taking a finished lobster carcass and throwing it on his lawn. . . . . . . Keansburg had a terrible stray cat problem. 😁

I have so many memories with Crystopher. Unfortunately, towards the end of our relationship things became too tumultuous. We had too much unresolved baggage and trauma to find a healthy place emotionally together. We were so financially strained for a time we hardly ate. And then when he met his new girlfriend Laura, she introduced him to her good friend, Roxy. As in Roxcicet. aka Blues. Neither of us knew what that even was at the time. But he sure learned quick. He started using them pretty frequently as time went on, and things only got more complicated. My mental health took a nose dive. By the time I moved out our relationship was trash. I basically left. At the time, I didnt have a choice. things had gotten so bad between us, the money, the using . . . we didn't act like friends anymore.

I saw him a couple times at his new place but that was years ago. Since then, he went through a lot, including homelessness and more struggles with addiction to opiates. He reached out to me and sent me a message apologizing for everything a couple years back. I never responded. I was afraid I would let him back into my life and let the all the problems back in. I didnt trust where he was at in his life. We lost touch and stopped speaking.

His ex, who used to live with us and became my friend, messaged me and told me he died a few days ago. He was 35. I'm still waiting for information, but it may have been drug related. I'm not even sure where I'm at with how I feel. I know why we stopped talking. It was the right thing to do at the time. But he didnt deserve to die so young, having spent the last god knows how many months homeless. It's fucking with me so hard because we never resolved anything. I loved this person so fucking much and we never made peace. Of everyone I've lost, he was the closest to me. I've had a lot of people die on me but none that I lived with and shared a life with. I have more memories with him than I can handle and while I know we hadn't spoken in years and why, I still wish I would've said something. Done something. Yes, i needed healthy boundaries but he needed somebody. when is being firm too firm? If we would've helped, could it have been different? But we didn't want to help at the time, you try to be tough and draw a line. Be firm. Not let yourself be taken advantage of. But is that a defense? Did that defensiveness leave a human being who's head i used to scratch until he fell asleep out in the cold to get sicker and die?

What am I supposed to learn from all this Universe? Why do you take my friends so young and so tragically? I'm only 35, I'm too young to have this much loss.

Because these are just the major players I've lost. It doesnt include my cousin Jared, who died being reckless on a motorcycle at 21 two years ago. I was 15 when he was born. I loved that baby, he used to bite my nose. But his family lived far, so I rarely saw him growing up. Last time I saw him was at my grandfather's funeral. He didn't remember me and the nose biting.

And then there's Marcos who we used to chill with. He worked delivery for our favorite chinese food place. He was a nice kid who lived with his grandparents. We would get food, smoke weed, hang out a little. Even used to buy it off him for a while. Eventually he got into the opiates too, he even wound up being good friends with Crys and being Blue buddies. But eventually Marcos died from an opiate overdose. He was in his mid twenties.

I didnt want to include Ricky because he was more of an acquaintance for me, he was more my partners childhood friend. But god damn, in the time I knew Ricky that kid was a riot. He was loud and funny and definitely marched to the beat of his own drum. Drugs took him too.

Thanks for reading all this if you've made it this far. It's taken me about two hours to type this out on my phone. but i needed to. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

#death #story #story prompt #grief #friends #loss #love #dying #grieving #sad #lessons #life lessons #writeblr #writing #compose

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gizkasparadise · 5 years

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Z. Ramble, on!

im gonna talk about how much i love luke skywalker–which is very very much–and why tlj is not only an IC character arc for him but one that makes him 100% more important to me

y’all of course, will likely have your own interpretations of him and that’s a-okay. but i’ve got about 20 years invested in mine and i am incredibly stubborn so any THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER!!! comments or reblogs might not be engaged with. that in mind, let’s roll.

to tosche station!

a lot of feelings about luke skywalker, as told by gizka

here’s some things i understand about luke from the original trilogy:

he doesn’t think things through. he’s curious and impulsive. his curiosity is one of my favorite things about him. since he’s the entrypoint character for the audience, we learn things with luke. we get excited with luke, we get angry with luke. luke’s curiosity does some meta work in letting the audience get immersed in the universe. he bugs owen. he bugs ben. he bugs han and chewie and is a walking bioware protag wanting fetch quests. what’s this laser sword? can i look down its handle?

his curiosity & impulsiveness are what save the Jedi. put on a visor and wave a laser around? sounds fun. go to a swamp planet in the middle of a war? okay. whatever this blue ghost-man has to say. the jedi, i think, lost curiosity– they lost the ability to critically reflect, to want to learn. they haven’t grown, even as the galaxy has grown around them (alluded quite a bit in EU content like KOTOR and also in canon with RotS). in the OT, we get two jedi: old ben kenobi, an exile who is referred to as a great general but is one of the most static characters in the series. throughout the series, he is moved into action by his surroundings or circumstances. he doesn’t seek luke out for training– the kid passes out on his yard. he straight up phased out of the adventure by ep 4. & then we get luke, this scrappy desert farm kid, and through his POV the jedi get to go from relics to something incredibly cool to be discovered– luke’s not the last of the old, but the first of the new. he’s dynamic and a catalyst and he charges through the story like a drunk bull

luke always wants to learn, but is frustrated by learning. we see how he’s quick to get angry or to quit, especially in ESB when dealing with yoda, that little hobgoblin. part of that is the impulsiveness & overeagerness– he wants to jump in and do things but doesn’t have the patience. this fits that “gifted child, struggling adult” trope. it’s Important that he doesn’t complete Jedi training his first try, that it doesn’t come easily to him.

luke is often isolated from what’s actually happening. after a new hope, he’s the Hero of Another Story in his own trilogy. his role, tactically speaking, on endor isn’t necessary (remember that he didn’t go in with the intention to stop the emperor). it’s personal. it’s family matters. it’s impulsive as hell despite his newfound Jedi Chill. luke’s arc is purposefully set up to be a sidestep away from the grand battle of good vs. evil during RotJ–that’s leia’s arena (& i could talk a lot about leia, too. another day, another post there). after ben’s death, all of his journeys are solo journeys: he’s a student without a teacher

so he is, in a lot of ways, alone even when surrounded by his friends. he’s the only one trying to understand the Force. he’s the only one trying to understand Darth Vader. he’s the only one who actively confronts the Dark Side (and the only one who sees the Dark Side in himself). he hosts his father’s funeral by himself. and, at the end of the trilogy, he’s the only one that sees the ghosts

here’s what i understand about luke between the OT and ST:

he wasn’t a good teacher. how could he be? historically in GFFA, heroes don’t make great teachers– obi wan certainly wasn’t. or qui gon. or yoda or mace. remember how yoda made himself straight up die to get out of answering luke’s questions? i do. luke’s 0 for 2 in dissolving mentors.

in fact, i’ll wait for someone to mention a jedi master who was a responsible, positive mentor for their student without things going to hell in a handbasket. the skywalker mentorship program is a domino line of dudebro fuckery

so we have someone who didn’t get good training, didn’t have a consistent teacher of his own, but has an intense curiosity about the force and an inherited legacy he’s decided to run with. he doesn’t have children of his own & leia’s too busy being the Big Good and having a full-time job with benefits to sign up for jedi daycamp (& coming back to that leia post i might write one day, why the fuck would she want to do jedi training. jedi training has super fucked up her life!). but his nephew, ben’s namesake, shows force sensitivity. for the first time, luke’s not the only person who can carry on the traditions he never really got to learn in the first place. potentially, he has someone who can share his curiosity with

but luke’s not a good teacher. his curiosity comes with impulsiveness. and so he fails his first try at it, in a way that mirrors his first try at being a jedi. only this time he’s not just hurting himself in the cave – he hurts ben. and leia. and han. he knows it, too.

so he leaves. because he doesn’t know what to do. because, for the first time he’s experienced it, the force is frightening and no one’s prepared him for this side of it. he exiles himself, because his journey has been one of exile ever since dagobah. he’s on his own, because who can he talk to? where is the handbook for So You Scared Your Apprentice To the DarkSide? it’s in a fucking tree somewhere a billion light years away that yoda lights on fucking fire, thanks yoda

luke is the first of the new, but being new means not having experience to draw on. it’s Telling that, in his exile, he is looking for answers from the ancient order. because luke’s still a student, still learning, too

so, let’s talk TLJ:

let’s say you really fucked up an exam. it was the most important exam of your life. and you straight up fucked it. F-. suspension. your photo’s hanging up on a wall of shame somewhere

now imagine some kid shows up to your depression den, uninvited, and demands that you tutor them in the exact same material you fucked up in previously. by the way, she’s sent by the sister you irreversibly hurt, apparently galactic freedom depends on it, and she’s learning Force Shit from that nephew you almost killed in a Panic.

it’s pretty understandable that you’d want to do one of two things: A. tell her no don’t do it, and/or B. maybe see what you can figure out from some old textbooks

except the textbooks suck because they were written by even more shitty teachers. this is the book your professor wrote and made you buy with no resale value. it hasn’t been revised or updated. this is first edition knowledge in a thirteenth edition galaxy. you, and this kid, and your nephew, are all on your own. you have no idea how to fix this shit. people have possibly died because of it. more people might die if you keep trying without knowing all there is to know about the force– what it can do, how it can manifest in people. the very thing that has been your strength your whole life (curiosity, a sense of adventure!, raw talent) is getting people killed

also yoda set the fucking books on fire

all three of the candidates for the title of the last jedi (luke, ben, rey) expect a legacy to inherit, a place in a more meaningful universe. they’re all, ultimately, disappointed. how they react to this disappointment is important: ben wants to burn it down. rey wants to fight for something new.

luke faces it. he apologizes to ben and leia. he fights for the Big Good in what is once again, a solo fight. that is personal. that is about family.

luke, unlike the jedi before him, learns how to be a teacher. he dies alone for it.

fuck anyone who says this version of luke is inferior, weaker, or OOC. i don’t want my heroes to get everything right on the first try– because no one does.

#luke skywalker #meta #I BET YOU DIDNT EXPECT THIS MUCH IM SORRY #!my post #long post #millyslitterbox

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just-a-fangirl-who-writes · 5 years

Text

Falling Prey to Cliches ~ Part 5 {R.H.}

You and Race strolled down the street to midtown, arm in arm. The silence that follows the two of you is comfortable, leaving the both of you alone in your thoughts.

Your thoughts, however, consisted mostly of the fact that Racetrack Higgins had no business being this attractive.

You gazed up at him, and the question you meant to ask died on your lips as you looked at him. Your eyes rover over his chiseled jaw, before settling on the clear blue of his eyes.

His gaze met yours and you jerked your head away, focusing instead on a street lamp as your cheeks flamed.

“Uh, Racer?” You finally managed to remember the question you’d been meaning to ask.

“Yeah, Y/N.” He responds, and you swear he has a smile on those lips, but you don’t dare look.

“Who’s in charge of Midtown?”

Race unlocks his arm from your and pats his pockets as you walk, leaving you disappointed.

“Uh, I think it’s Loosie, but I ain’t sure.” He draws his cigar from a pocket and smiles triumphantly.

You grimace and Race laughs. “You still don’t like her?” He chuckles with disbelief.

“She can’t keep a secret, Race.” You frown, avoiding his mirthful gaze.

The truth is, Loosie had been pining over Racer for years, ever since he’d given her a extra nickel one night a year ago.

“That’s an exaggeration.” Race rolls his eyes and grabs your hand.

Your face breaks out in a grin as he pulls you along the streets. You weave through the crowd, laughing, as you make your way to the lodging house in Midtown.

When the two of you finally come to a stop outside the doors, neither of you make a move to let go of the other’s hand.

You barely have time to knock before the door swings open, revealing a petite brunette with a crooked grin. Her gaze immediately notes your connected hands, and you notice a flicker in her easy going expression. But you blink and it’s gone, and Loosie is ushering the two of you inside.

“What brings ‘Hattan to my humble abode?” She grins and walks backwards, facing the two of you. Race let’s go of your hand and steps forward, and you can’t help but yearn for more contact.

“We’s askin’ for Midtown’s help, Loosie. You see, Kelly’s organizing a strike,”

You zone out Race’s speech, instead focusing on Loosie. Her eyes glitter with longing as he speaks, and you feel a sliver of jealousy take hold of you.

Then you realize that they’re both looking at you, and you shake your head slightly.

“Sorry, what?”

Loosie crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. “I gotta ask how your brother plans to make this strike a success. I ain’t throwin’ my people into this if it’s gonna be a mess.”

“That’s why we’s here. Without the other boroughs, this strike’ll be over ‘fore it can even start. But with help, we might could actually get something done. With or without you, we’s gonna strike. The results, depend on you.”

Loosie bites her lip and looks in between you and Race, thinking. Finally she opens her mouth to speak.

“What about Brooklyn? What’s Spot Conlon say about this?”

“We don’t know yet.” Race answers. “Jack and some new guys headed over to talk to him.”

“Tell ya what, you got Brooklyn, you got Midtown.”

You nod and start walking away, Race following.

“Hang on, Y/N, can I talk to you for a sec?”

You oblige as Race goes on ahead.

Loosie crosses her arms and leans against the wall with a sigh. “I ain’t dumb okay?”

You blink, surprised. “What?”

“I know I don’t gotta chance. Not with the way he looks at you.”

You hold out your hands to stop her. “Who are you talking about?”

Loosie stares at you for a few seconds and laughs bitterly. “Tell ya what Jojo wasn’t kiddin. You really are clueless. I’m talkin about Racetrack, Y/N.”

“Yeah, okay. Racer doesn’t, for me? I? No.” You stutter, a blush rising to your cheeks.

“Whatever ya say, but can you cool it on the whole jealousy thing? It’s kinda useless.” She waves her hand and walks off, leaving you open mouthed.

“What happened in there?” Race asks once you meet him outside.

“Honestly, Racer? I ain’t really sure.” You gaze up at him curiously. He doesn’t notice, and instead grabs your hand again.

“Well let’s get back. Gotta tell Jack the news.”

Requests are open

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owakoblack-portspa · 5 years

Text

A Dream of Bethlehem

Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Pairings: Knights Hospitaller x Knights Templar; Prussia x South Italy

Characters: Teutonic Knights/Prussia (Gilbert), Knights Templar (Chris), Knights Hospitaller (Giovanni), Kingdom of Sicily/South Italy (Lovino)

It is not a very good day to go to Acre, not a very good day at all, people warn little Gilbert. The deeper you go into the city, the more dangerous it becomes, people say. But I am a knight, I am not afraid, Gilbert braces himself. He has seen blood flowing like a river, he has seen corpses piling up a mountain, but he has never seen a hell like this, right in the heart of the capital of the Holy Land. In the streets of Acre, where Christians fight Christians, where brothers kill brothers, homicide and fratricide become natural, even though themselves are not natural at all--it is not a holy land, it is a wild world inhabited by evils. To Gilbert’s utter disgust, after the fall of the Genoese flag, advance the crimson Hospitaller banner and a group of knights in black uniforms into the burning street. ‘Wait, can’t you spare the citizens’ houses?’ Gilbert stands in front of the charging army, but he is unwilling to draw up his sword. ‘And can’t you see the Venetians are our enemies? Step aside, child!’ a tall Hospitaller waves his naked sword towards the little albino. A heavy sound of two clashing swords--a white knight shields Gilbert from the gigantic man, and a string of blood instantly spills onto the red petit cross embroidered on the chest. Even though his left palm is pierced by the sword, and an ugly, bloody hole appears as his enemy’s sword is swiftly and cruelly drawn away, the knight does not show any sign of fear, and quite on the contrary, his angelic face still keeps on smiling. ‘Brother Chris!’ ‘Christien!’

Two boys cry out at the same time. As Gilbert is lying on the ground and Chris is standing in front of him to protect, Giovanni appears just in time, his handsome face furious and sweaty. ‘Stop! The little one is the Teutonic Knights! Our ward!’ Giovanni shouts angrily to the tall Hospitaller. The anonymous Hospitaller sheathes his sword immediately, despite Giovanni the teenager looks much younger than him. ‘I’m sorry, Your Eminence,’ the Hospitaller now looks pallid and trembles like a leaf, ‘I didn’t mean to hurt His Eminence the Order of the Temple, but...’ ‘It’s nothing.’ Chris waves his injured palm impatiently to everyone, smiling as usual, ‘I love playing the role of a martyr. I am so glad that I protected little Gil, in spite of the fact that YOU are his guardian, Gio.’ Giovanni can tell the satire in Chris’ words, but he is not going to argue with a wounded person--after all, his another profession is doctor. ‘Let me see your wound, Christien.’ Giovanni’s voice becomes softer, but firm. ‘I’ve told you it’s nothing.’ Chris’ face becomes paler as he draws his sword in a position of defence, his flaming purple eyes threatening, ‘If you dare to touch me, I’ll revenge myself on you now!’ Giovanni stops short, staring at the blond with sudden coldness, ‘I won’t if I can.’ Then he turns to Gilbert, and raises up the little boy, ‘Are you alright, Gilbert? I’ve promised the Kingdom of Sicily to take care of you. I hope you’re not hurt.’ ‘Don’t treat me like a child!’ Gilbert’s reddened eyes make him look more like a rabbit, and he jumps high to protest. Giovanni does not take his protest seriously. He simply holds up Gilbert’s clenching hand, and retreats with his army, without casting another look at Chris, who remains standing in silence .

‘Brother Gio, can’t you treat Brother Chris a little better? He has saved me! And of all things, why do you two fight each other? You both are christian military orders!’ At the Hospitaller headquarters, Gilbert enquires. ‘The Knights Templar are stronger than us. If we don’t fight to protect ourselves, we’ll be destroyed by them.’ Giovanni replies calmly. ‘Why do the Knights Templar want to destroy you? Brother Chris in fact is very kind-hearted. Even though he knows I am on your side, he teaches me combat skills...hoops!’ Gilbert just realises that he has leaked the secret between Chris and himself. ‘Gilbert, you know I’m not happy to hear this. I hope you won’t betray me as you’ve developed a good relationship with my archrival.’

It has been a week since Chris was injured, and since that day, Gilbert has been bringing medicine to the Templar castle on Giovanni’s command as a punishment of his ‘betrayal’. What Giovanni requires Gilbert to keep in mind, is that Gilbert must not let Chris know who is actually prescribing medications. However, in the end, Gilbert cannot help telling the truth to Chris, ‘Brother Chris, I really hope you can stop fighting with Brother Gio. You see, he regrets what he’s done to you, and sends...’ ‘I hope Gio is not behind this, otherwise I will not accept medicine from you any more.’ Chris interrupts quickly. ‘Why do you hate Brother Gio so much, Brother Chris?’ ‘I hate him for not sending me medicine, and I will hate him more if he asks you to send me medicine. In sum, I just hate him.’ Chris strokes his bandaged left palm with tender passion, but Gilbert is too young to observe this detail or understand these words.

After this street fight, the two gangs seem to have ceased fire for a while, not only because one of their leaders is injured, but also because the festive spirit is approaching. In the Cathedral of Acre, people busy themselves with the preparation of the biggest event of the year--Christmas. The interior of the church is semi-decorated, and still more flowers and plants are coming. ‘Gilbert, have you understood the ceremony process that I’ve just told you?’ Giovanni bends down to speak in the ear of the absent-minded little knight. Both of them stand beside the alter. Gilbert jumps, and finally turns his attention from revery to the taller knight, ‘Sorry, what did you just say?’ ‘Could you tell me why you can’t take your eyes off the audience seats in the church? Are you expecting someone?’ Giovanni frowns. ‘Brother Gio, do you know if Frater will visit Acre for Christmas?’ Gilbert asks carefully. ‘Yes, the Kingdom of Sicily told so me in a letter. And he will attend the Christmas mass as well.’ On hearing the news, Gilbert reacts dramatically: firstly his jaw drops, then his grin broadens, and finally he raises his hands high up in the air, ‘Hallelujah! What a good tiding!’ ‘Calm down yourself, Gilbert! Shouting is forbidden in the church. And if you don’t want Sicily to be disappointed with you, you have to work hard in preparation, understood? It’s your first time to celebrate Christmas, there’re many things for you to learn.’ ‘I know, I know! I’ll work hard for Frater, and on Christmas I’m going to pay my homage to Frater, and then I’ll become a real knight! I’m so awesome! Everything’s going to be perfect! Kesesese!’ Gilbert laughs happily. ‘Don’t be too proud, Gilbert. You have to work hard to achieve your goal. Remember: no pain, no gain.’ ‘But there’s someone lazier than me! Even though Brother Chris’ wound is getting much better, he never comes to the rehearsal, and he’s going to sing in the choir!’ ‘Christien’s done the mass many times so he doesn’t need much rehearsing, and in fact, I don’t think he wants to see me.’ Giovanni looks at the choir practicing singing in a corner of the church, which is consisted of young boys in white dresses. The most beautiful one is missing, just as he has expected.

The Cathedral of Acre has already been enunciated with devout Christians hours before the bells announce the approach of Christmas and the beginning of the Christmas Midnight Mass. The interior of the cathedral is full of the festive spirit, decorated with myriads of flowers, draperies, hangings, ribbons, and candles, making this spacious sacred place shine with all colours of the solar spectrum. Now the congregation is holding its breath to hear the steps of the approaching holy moment, that is to say, waiting for the mass procession enter into the nave. After the bells strike twelve times, silence remains as if time stood still, so everybody turns their head to the church entrance to look for the priests and professed knights. After several seconds pass, finally, to everyone’s relief, the door opens, and a group of people in surplice solemnly walk in. At the head of them is little Gilbert with silver hair and red-pupiled eyes, swinging from side to side a golden, smoking censer in his hands. The little albino holds his chin high and looks straight ahead, so even the distant audience can tell from his rigid movements and his slightly reddened physiognomy that he is at the moment very nervous. Many in the congregation do know that for this new-born German military order, it must be his first time to perform holy services in such a big event, and accordingly they understand his nervousness and cross their fingers to pray for his success in the debut. Among the understanding, kind-hearted people, is Lovino, the Kingdom of Sicily, who comes all the way from Palermo for this special occasion, and who now sticks his little brown head out from the crowd into the aisle covered with red carpets, which makes him so distinct that even Gilbert’s sweat-filmed eyes cannot prevent the little knight from noticing this great kingdom from afar. Consequently, Gilbert starts short, as if petrified, but Lovino is no malicious Medusa--quite on the contrary, he is the most amiable personage here, so he tries to unlock the magic spell by waving his little hand and smiling sweetly to his little knight, to salute, and to encourage him. However, for Gilbert, this is more like an ignition before an explosion than a mere encouragement, for in response, stuffed of energy, he sets himself off high in the air like a rocket, the censer in his hands swinging like a mad turning wheel, spilling hot incense everywhere. All at once a commotion is caused--people sitting nearby the aisle stand up to run, only to find that within such a dense crowd running is almost impossible, thus some panic is caused as well. At this critical moment, Giovanni, who walks beside the bishop in the middle of the procession, dashes out to catch the censer which now is flying out of Gilbert’s hands, and fortunately, after the catch, he is agile enough to regain his balance in time, and stands upright with the golden censer safely contained in his hands. He makes some effort to restrain himself from panting heavily, and immediately resumes his solemn, imperturbable look to hide his shock of this unexpected episode. Realising what has just happened, Gilbert becomes the most panicked person in the cathedral. He dare not look at Lovino’s face to see his disappointment, so he looks down onto the floor, feeling too shameful for himself to move. Seeing this, Giovanni pats Gilbert’s shoulder from behind to urge him to proceed, otherwise the procession would be blocked even though Gilbert is short and tiny. Accordingly Gilbert moves on, and from now on, he becomes half absent-minded for his sense of guilt, head drooping. Despite this, the following process goes on smoothly, the episode is soon forgotten, the audience watch the performance of the servers quietly, listen to the priests’ sermons attentively, and respond by saying ‘amen’ when their heart is quite touched. However, Gilbert’s tribulations are not yet finished. As a novice, he is to give a speech in front of the holy altar, in the face of the public. It is a narration of the nativity, which should have been already familiar to any christian, so before the mass, Gilbert was so confident that he did not bring the script with him. Now, it is high time for Gilbert’s speech, and for the sake of the sense of guilt he is still sweating heavily as if he had just been fished out from the sea: ‘It was...it was in the year of four before Christ, before Christ was born. (A pause.) On the day when Christ was born, Mary found no place to lie down herself and give birth to her child, so she just...she just lied down on the floor, (some hiss from the audience) and she saw stars shining bright in the sky. Oh, I forget to say, (laugh from the audience) there was an angel coming from the sky to tell her that the child is the savior of mankind. So back to the night when Jesus was born, there were three magicians...(somebody hoots)’ Finally Gilbert’s frustrated voice seems to fade away, and people can hardly hear what the little knight is saying, and neither can they see his mouth moving, for he persists in hanging his head down. Lovino, who sits in the front row for the prerogatives possessed by such a great kingdom like him, clasps his hands all the time to pray for Gilbert, and he even dare not bat his big, radiant eyes lest they would distract his knight, but it seems all his prayers are in vain. Giovanni, who stands righteously and solemnly among the priests and servers, is as anxious as Lovino from the bottom of his heart. ‘Can anyone please do something?’ he asked without producing a sound.

‘--Long time ago in Bethlehem So the Holy Bible say Mary’s boy child, Jesus Christ Was born on Christmas day.’

Suddenly, people hear someone singing. At first, people think it is the ringing sound of a crystal stream, for it is so limpid, so pure; and then, when they realise that it is from above, they take it as the voice of an angel, for it is so beautiful and so unearthly, like a beam of light piercing through thick clouds to warm the earth, to fill everyone’s heart with bliss. While the confused audience are looking about themselves, only Giovanni immediately finds out whence the voice is from--he has heard this voice on every Christmas, and yet he still can hardly believe it--as soon as he hears the singing, he raises his head and looks up to the carved balcony facing the altar where he is standing by, and sure enough, he sees a thin, pale figure stand out of the choir boys, beneath the enormous silver organ. It is Chris who is singing. He is clad in white, laced surplice, his pale countenance becomes more tender in the radiance from the white texture, and his soft, curly blond hair makes him shine like a midnight sun. He is not yet grown up, his delicate human form hardly tells his gender, and therefore he looks more beautiful than any man or woman, and so clinks his sweet, heavenly singing voice. Here he stands, so pure he looks, so angelically he sings, even Giovanni has to admit that on this particular occasion, if Chris were not the messenger from God, he cannot tell who this sweet creature could be. ‘It’s the Knights Templar!’ a little girl cries out happily, and her mother quickly quiets her. Even Gilbert looks up from the floor to the balcony gratefully as if he has found his savior, so continues Chris:

‘While shepherds watched their flocks by night Them see a bright new shining star Them hear a choir sing The music seemed to come from afar.

Now, Joseph and his wife, Mary Come to Bethlehem that night Them find no place to born she child Not a single room was in sight.

By and by, they find a little nook In a stable all forlorn And in a manger cold and dark Mary’s little Boy was born.’

The choir boys standing behind Chris, who are also sweet-looking, though not as beautiful as he, begin to sing harmoniously, and all the people in the cathedral sing along:

‘Hark, now hear the angels sing A new king born today And man will live forevermore Because of Christmas day.’

Now everyone rejoices again, because they take part in such a beautiful choir led by an angel, and has never felt so close to God before.

In many aspects, the midnight mass is as successful as last year, so afterwards everybody goes home happily. However, in a dark corner of the sacristy, Gilbert is found sobbing quietly. Because others are gone, only Giovanni and Chris see him. Chris bends down over Gilbert, beaming innocently as ever, and says cheerfully, ‘Gil, don’t cry, it’s Christmas!’ ‘I’m so stupid, I know nothing of Christmas! I’m not fit for being a knight!’ Gilbert tries to conceal his tearful face by burying it between his crouching knees. Even though Giovanni was unhappy for Gilbert’s failures of performance at tonight’s mass, which he believes are the results of Gilbert’s arrogance and ignorance of his persuasion, his benign heart is touched by the little one’s sadness and frustration, so he attempts to comfort Gilbert: ‘To err is human. If you learn from experience, you’ll be forgiven.’ Nevertheless, Giovanni’s austere tone makes Gilbert feel more miserable, ‘Forgiven? Will I be forgiven by Frater? Perhaps I can’t never become his knight!’ ‘Gio, you frightened little Gil!’ Chris criticises his big rival, and continues to console Gilbert by an even more tender voice, ‘come on, Gil, I’ll show you something. I’m sure you’ll learn Christmas by heart. Don’t worry.’ He winks, stands up, and leads Gilbert to the courtyard of the cathedral. Giovanni does not trust Chris, so he follows them into the cool midnight air. Standing under the purple starry sky, Chris brings out from his pocket a plain stone cup. ‘I’m going to use this to bring us to the night when our Lord Jesus Christ was born. You can come with us if you want, Gio.’ ‘Wait, is this...the Holy Grail?’ Giovanni is astonished. ‘Exactly.’ Chris replies matter-of-factly. ‘I didn’t know you possess it.’ Giovanni says darkly, and quickly makes the sign of the cross. In secret, he feels his stomach aching--how come his rival obtains the most sacred relic in the christian world? ‘You don’t have to know everything,’ smiles Chris. It happens very fast. After a flash of blinding light, the three knights are altogether brought to another time and place. The time is still night, but the environment is changed into a dry, rocky wild land. ‘Look! There’s the bright shining star!’ Chris points to the enormous brilliant star hanging in the eastern sky. ‘What does this mean?’ Gilbert is bewildered by this strange environment. ‘Gilbert, how many times have I told you to read the Bible more carefully?’ Giovanni’s austere look makes Gilbert wince. ‘Relax, Gio. It’s the Holy Night, let’s behold the miracle!’ Chris leads the group to walk in the direction of the bright star. After a while, they see a manger at the top of a hill. ‘Is it...?’ Gilbert is shushed abruptly by Giovanni. The three of them carefully approach the manger on tiptoe. The manger basks in the bright shining star right above, so they can see the scene clearly: Mary has just now given birth to baby Jesus, who is sleeping comfortably in his mother’s arms, and Joseph stands by them, watching the baby with great interest and affection. Noticing people approaching, Mary is alert, but as soon as she sees these people are three good-looking young boys in some kind of cassocks, she smiles and gestures them to come closer. ‘Our Lord Jesus, we’ve come to worship you.’ Both Giovanni and Chris kneel down before the little baby who opens his beautiful eyes to look upon them curiously. After realising who the baby is, Gilbert imitates his brothers to fall on kneels, not without clumsiness. Seeing this, Mary smiles affectionately to the timid little knight, and says, ‘thank you for visiting us in such a bleak winter night. Don’t be anxious, little knight, baby Jesus is very happy to see you.’ Gilbert looks up to see Mary’s smiling face, and sees a mother in her, a mother he has never had, or met, in his life. Suddenly, the albino bursts into tears, ‘oh Mother, Mother!’ Mary pats Gilbert’s silver head, speaks to him in a voice so gentle as if singing a lullaby, ‘little child, you have such beautiful hair. Don’t cry, you’ll be loved.’ It is Gilbert’s first time to be praised by someone for his hair--being an albino, he has been jeered and teased all his life. It is not necessary to describe how happy Gilbert is in seeing the Holy Virgin, and he lays his head upon her knees. Meanwhile, Giovanni finds Chris’ pale face full of tears too. Before the little Lord, the beautiful knight clasps his hands tightly while on his knees--he looks so pious, so humble that he makes this moment divine. Unconsciously, Giovanni wears a smile on his face-- O Silent Night! O Holy Night!

On the next morning, Gilbert is woken up by a familiar voice: ‘Gil, wake up! Are you alright?’ When he opens his eyes, he sees Lovino shaking his shoulder anxiously. Thus he sits up abruptly, ‘Frater! Why are you here?’ ‘Dear Gil! I was worried about you so I came to the morning mass early to see if you’re alright, but I didn’t know you slept in the courtyard over night!’ Lovino exclaims, ‘it is not good! You’ll catch cold!’ His puffing face is on the brink of tears. It is Gilbert’s turn to feel worried too, for his heart will break if he sees Lovino cry. ‘Dear Frater, I’m totally fine, so please don’t cry!’ he holds Lovino’s little hand, faking a smile to comfort him, ‘I spent a whole night with Brother Gio and Brother Chris to worship little Lord Jesus in Bethlehem, you have to know how happy I am! Please don’t worry about me!’ ‘Really?’ Lovino’s watery emerald eyes look into Gilbert’s rubies, and he sees truthfulness in them, ‘good, then. But where are Gio and Chris?’ Both of them look around. Beside the wall of the cathedral, they see Giovanni and Chris lying down there, holding each other’s body closely as if to keep warm and sleep more comfortably. Hearing noises, the two sleepy knights are awakened--it is not difficult to imagine the surprised look on their faces. However, instead of letting out a shriek or kicking each other away, in peace, they exchange morning greetings: ‘Morning, Gio.’ Chris smiles like an angel waking up from his sweetest dream. ‘Good morning, Christien.’ Giovanni blushes. He will never admit that it is Chris’ crystal purple eyes that make his heart beat fast, and he feels a little reluctant to let Chris’ warm body leave his arms when both of them get back to their feet. ‘Christien, wait!’ ‘What?’ Chris quickly turns back to face Giovanni, his huge eyes sparkling. ‘I want to apologise for the wound in your palm. I should have stopped my people hurting you.’ Giovanni smites his handsome brow. ‘It’s not your fault,’ Chris smiles mildly, ‘and I want to thank you for healing me.’ ‘You know the medicine was sent by me?’ ‘Of course, do you forget how long we’ve known each other? And as I’m your archrival, who do you think could know you better than me?’ Smiling mysteriously, Chris briskly wheels around. Without knowing why, Giovanni suddenly feels a special attachment to his rival and comrade, so he instinctively follows Chris’ white robe, which is billowing in the wind like an angel’s enormous wings. Later on, in the Christmas morning mass, people are surprised to see the two long-term rivals stand side by side in the procession, and even exchange friendly looks at intervals during the liturgy. ‘It happens once a year that the two great military orders make a truce. After all, it’s Christmas, it’s time for peace, for forgiveness, and for love.’ Among the audience, some Venetians whisper quietly, and then they shake hands with their Genoese neighbours. As for Gilbert, this time, he has done much better especially in the narration of the nativity. When the mass is done and the cathedral becomes empty, he cautiously kneels down before Lovino, ‘dear Frater, I want to be your knight, but I’m not yet perfect--could you wait until I’m fit?’ ‘I don’t need you to be perfect. Whenever you feel yourself is ready, I’ll be ready to take you as my knight.’ Lovino blushes. ‘I promise it won’t be too long, Frater.’ Gilbert tenderly kisses Lovino’s hand.

(End)

#hetalia #APH #prussia x south italy #prussia x romano #APH Prussia #aph south italy #aph teutonic knights #aph knights templar #aph knights hospitaller #prumano

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