#but yeah suffice it to say I’m OBSESSED
Text
vagabond
my batfam obsession has finally come in handy (reader is like, late teens, early twenties??)
This was meant to be a drabble, but I went a teeny tiny bit overboard, and by overboard, I mean this is 5.6k words - there will also definitely be a part two <33
Enjoy :)) Or don't. I can't tell you what to do
****
dc masterlist
****
“Okay,
Let’s do this one last time
My name?? You don’t need to know my name. All you need to know is that I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last six years, I’ve been the one, and only, Recluse.
….what? Spiderman?
No, no, none of that nonsense. That’s so overused. Plus, I’m a woman, and Spiderwoman just feels like a bit of a mouthful.
Yeah… Recluse. I was bitten by a recluse spider.
…ironically, I hate spiders.”
****
Hear me out.
You’re a Spider person(??), involved in the Spider verse. You have the usual Spiderman backstory (sort of), and you’ve got the same incredible senses and abilities. I imagine you having a slightly superior spider sense and speed compared to other Spiders – think Cindy Moon. And obviously, the name, Recluse, means you were bitten by a recluse spider (I fucking hate spiders), but that also means that you get all the qualities of a recluse spider. Mainly necrotic venom and the ability to camouflage. You can’t exactly turn invisible, you just have the uncanny ability of blending in like a chameleon. It’s kind of creepy, I won’t lie.
Regardless of your abilities, you were there when Miguel lost his temper and when Miles ran away.
Except you made the mistake of trying to help Miles. Why wouldn’t you? He was just a child, and he only wanted to keep his family safe. Anyone else would’ve done the same in his position. Suffice it to say, that pissed Miguel off. Majorly.
And while Miles managed to get away without a dimension-travelling watch, you weren't as fortunate. You fought tooth and nail with other Spiders, not wanting to hurt them and not wanting to get caught. You barely managed to escape with your life as you tapped a random location into your watch and zapped off to another earth without a second thought or a proper plan. But not before the Spiders giving chase had managed to damage your watch (and you - they’re strong as fuck, of course they managed to do some damage).
Now, as you stand on an empty rooftop, examining your watch in the rain, you're beginning to think you may have fucked up.
Slightly.
The watch still prevents you from glitching, you've confirmed that much. Thank goodness.
But it is broken. You know it is. Because you can't reach anyone else in the Spider verse. And you can't see what universe you're in. You feel like you’ve been thrown in the deep end, and the fact that you can barely stand doesn’t help.
****
Stood in the rain on a rooftop in the middle of nowhere, injured and all but stranded, was not how you had planned on spending your Saturday night.
As you distractedly tinker with the watch in a pathetic attempt to fix it, grumbling to yourself about your ruined weekend place, your spider sense goes haywire, ringing so loudly in your ears that your head spins.
You're so disoriented that you barely manage to dodge the dagger thrown your way.
A dagger that's... shaped like a plane? No, it looked more like a bird?
You step back cautiously as a man emerges from the shadows, jumping down from a ledge just above your head.
He’s dressed strangely, which is one hell of a statement coming from you, someone dressed in a skintight spider suit. But-
“Really? A cape? Isn’t that, like, super impractical?”
The question leaves your mouth before you can think about it, but really – did Edna Mode teach people nothing?
He walks closer without a word. His silence is almost as unsettling as his gaze. It feels as if he’s dissecting you. He keeps a safe distance between the two of you.
Hm, he’s not completely lacking in the common-sense department, at least.
Then, after much deliberation, he speaks.
“That light- you fell from the sky?”
His voice was cautious, every word measured and serious. His eyes scanned you from top to bottom, taking in your appearance without a word.
You sigh and prop a hand on your hip, trying to appear nonchalant, trying desperately not to wince at the flaring pain in your ribs. You were in no position to fight, so you’d either have to run, or talk your way to safety.
If there was one thing you were good at, it was talking.
“Yep. You’re so observant.”
He scowls, his mouth pinching slightly at the corners.
Okay, maybe sassing the man with a dorky superhero cape isn’t a great idea… At least, not while I can barely stand.
So you change tactics.
“I’m sorry, I just- Look, uh, where exactly am I?”
The look on his face tells you that that was not the right question to ask.
Great. A sceptic. That’s exactly what I needed.
So you backtrack, laughing awkwardly as you wave your hands dismissively.
“That was a… a joke- A terribly timed joke. I apologise. Uh, your suit is… nice?”
Now he seems more exasperated than cautious, and he takes a step closer, reaching a hand out towards you.
Your spider sense flares, and you know that something about this man is dangerous. He appears young and relatively harmless, but appearances can be deceiving, you of all people know that.
So, you do the only thing you can think of at that moment. The only command your instincts give you. You jump away.
You jump.
And, naturally, you stick to the wall.
It’s nothing. It’s such a small action, one you’re more than accustomed to. You do it all the time, climbing walls and ceilings, scaling the sides of buildings. Other Spiders do it too. Even the civilians back on your own earth are used to it.
But it’s not nothing.
The man before you seems stunned beyond words, his outstretched hand hanging in midair as his jaw drops. He stares at you as you stand there, exactly perpendicular to him, sticking to the wall and defying all laws of nature as if it’s nothing.
His hand clenches in a fist and he reaches for a bo staff, the metal snapping loudly as he swings it outwards, the leather of his glove creaking as he tightens his grip.
“Who are you? Your name. Now.” he demands, his jaw clenched tightly.
You tilt your head.
Was this guy an idiot? The first rule of secret identities is that they’re, y’know, secret?
“Oh, well, I’m Recluse. Who are you?”
He ignores your question, slowly approaching you again, looking at you curiously. It might have seemed innocent to a third party, but your head was still ringing. You couldn’t let this man get too close to you.
You sigh heavily.
Running it is.
You point your arm outwards, startling the man, who takes a wary step back. Before he can react or reach for you, you shoot a web out and swing away. His bo staff slams against the wall seconds after you leapt from it, the wall denting and crumbling from the force of his swing.
The look on his face was priceless, first fear at the sight of you jumping over the edge of the building, then surprise, then a flash of anger as you mockingly saluted him as you swung away. You’d laugh if your ribs didn’t feel like they were seconds away from shattering.
You swing through the unfamiliar city, the buildings passing by you in a flash. Coming to a stop is painful, your head swimming as you nearly slam into the side of an apartment building.
Thank God for spider-like adhesion.
You sit there for a long moment, taking a second to catch your breath and gather your bearings.
After you've managed to shake the dizziness away, you swing to the street down below.
While you think over your piss poor plan of finding some civilian clothing and learning more about this universe, you try to ignore the aching throb in your ribs. You weren’t too concerned about the injury – one advantage of being Spiderwoman was that you healed at an incredible rate. You’d just have to grin and bear until you healed.
****
Wayne Enterprises.
They specialised in a whole lot, but all that really interested you was their science division. In particular, the tech and biotech sector. The company seemed eerily similar to variations of other mega corporations you’d seen in your time travelling through the multiverse.
Stark Enterprises. Alchemax. Oscorp Industries. Roxxon Energy Corporation.
The list was endless, but you’d decided, after hours spent in a cramped internet café doing informal research on the strange dimension you found yourself in, that investigating Wayne Enterprises was the best place to start if you hoped to ever fix the watch and return home.
Your plan of action was simple. Scratch that, it was terrible - held together with little more than hopes and prayers. But with your abilities, you were confident you could pull it off.
That’s how you found yourself confidently walking through the foyer of Wayne Enterprises, acting as if you were supposed to be there. Swiping an access card off of some poor, unsuspecting office worker was easier than it should have been.
You wandered around the reception area for a while, carefully surveying the room before approaching the elevator with the air of someone who knew where they were going.
There’ll be signs for each division… Right?
Wrong.
Twenty minutes later, you’re still wandering aimlessly through corridors, hoping the right room would magically present itself to you.
So caught up in your own frustrated musings, you nearly miss the department you’d spent almost an hour looking for.
The sign above the door is pathetic - faded and barely visible, peeling and yellowed at the edges, like some old poster left out in the sun to age.
Shoving your irritation to the back of your mind, you quietly open the door, wincing as it creaks. Popping your head through the gap, you peek around the small room, and-
Nothing.
It’s completely empty, the thick layer of dust settled over the countertops seeming to mock your failure of a heist.
A silent huff of annoyance is all you allow yourself, quickly shutting the door and continuing on your way. Determination fuels your every step, intent to find something, anything, so that your breaking-and-entering excursion wouldn’t be for nothing.
****
Success.
You definitely weren’t supposed to be in here. Not that you were supposed to be in the building in general, but this?
‘This’ being what appeared to be the CEO’s personal office, if the floor to ceiling windows and expensive leather furniture was anything to go by.
You’d long since discarded any pretence of searching for the biotech department. Now, you were just snooping around, curious to see what exactly the CEO of Wayne Enterprises had laying around.
Naturally, you’d come across a few pictures of him in your investigation of Wayne Enterprises, and all you’d thought about the moment you’d seen his photo, was that Bruce Wayne was undoubtedly one of the most attractive men you’d ever met.
If you weren’t caught in such a dire situation, you might have taken the time to fawn over him a while longer.
The office is odd. There’s something about it that you can’t quite put your finger on, something uncanny. Maybe it’s that lack of colour or warmth, or the lack of any personal effects.
But that couldn’t be it. You’d seen plenty of rooms similarly decorated, but there was something about this in particular that set your hair on end. Not your spider sense, but your unconscious mind.
It almost felt as if you were being… observed. As if an unseen force was breathing down your neck, pinning you in place.
You distract yourself from your ever growing unease, pulling open drawers and rifling through cabinets.
What an obscene amount of paperwork.
Truly, you don’t expect to find anything exciting or noteworthy. Maybe an office cellarette, maybe a Courtesan cigar.
What you don’t expect is to find the parts you needed to fix your watch.
The parts that were supposed to have been in the biotech department.
Before you have much time to contemplate about why the tech worth billions is shoved behind a bookshelf, the door opens.
You’re on the ceiling before he even enters the room, your breath tight in your chest, the klystron conductor clutched firmly in your fist as you try not to make any sudden movements.
Certain abilities you’d gotten as a result of the spider that bit you came in handy more often than not, namely the capability to survive weeks, if not months without food or water, and the preternatural proficiency you had hunting at night. Most useful had to be your camouflage abilities.
And while you were able to camouflage yourself, it came with its own set of drawbacks and caveats. Specifically in the fact that it was a camouflaging ability, not invisibility.
If you moved too suddenly, even someone unaware would notice you.
It takes you a moment to realise that the man is Bruce Wayne.
He looks different than in the photos - his back is broader, his hair darker, and his eyes…
His eyes-
Your head feels like it’s being split open, a buzzing so persistent filling your ears that you almost slip off the wall, your adhesion faltering for a moment.
There had been one or two stories within the Spider Society, of moments where someone's spider sense had gone so haywire they couldn’t tell up from down. There’d been a time where, supposedly, someone had even passed out from the pounding pressure in their skull.
Initially, you’d thought it was an exaggeration, a newfound hero overplaying a fight gone wrong in an attempt to save face.
Now, as he surveys the room, his azure eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than they should, you understand what they meant.
Panic isn’t enough to describe how you feel at that moment.
You feel too exposed, your nerves raw and laid bare.
It… almost feels as if he knows you’re there.
But that’s not possible. There’s no way.
You allow yourself the slightest sigh of relief, releasing the searing breath in your chest as he turns, moving towards his desk.
His silhouette is broad and domineering as he bows over his laptop, the sound of his tapping at the keys filling the sweltering silence of the room.
With his back turned towards you, you take your chance, slowly, so slowly making your way across the room, still sticking to the ceiling all the while.
You pause for a moment, freezing when you catch a glimpse of what exactly is on his screen.
The camera feed.
There you are.
Entering his office with a wide eyed look on your face.
And-
And that’s you, barely ten minutes ago, rifling through drawers and shelves.
He pauses then, on the frame of you holding the klystron conductor with a satisfied smile and a slight sparkle in your eyes. He sighs heavily, his head dropping forward as he taps two fingers against the tabletop.
You don’t linger to see his reaction, dropping down from the ceiling and slinking out the ajar door.
****
After you’d hightailed it out of the building as soon as you could, you hadn’t dared to look back.
That man… Something about him set your nerves on edge. He wasn’t normal.
Thankfully, you’d managed to get out without much hassle, and now you were wandering somewhat aimlessly through the city, looking for a place to set up shop, so to speak.
Spying a seemingly abandoned building across the street, you decided it would have to do for now.
As you cross the road, aiming for the darkened alleyway across the road, you’re slammed off of your feet.
By a car.
Someone hit you with a goddamn car.
You lay there, in the entryway of the alley, gasping for breath as you press your forehead to the wet concrete beneath you. But no matter how deeply you breathe, you can’t seem to force yourself to your feet.
Spider sense my ass – what the fuck was that?! No warning, nothing!
The edges of your vision turn black, and you pray that you don’t pass out as a pair of polished black leather shoes approach you.
A man crouches down in front of you, his words drowned out by the ringing in your ears.
He reaches out to you, intent on pressing his palm to your shoulder.
You pass out before he can touch you.
****
You might’ve been unconscious for a few hours or or a few weeks. You weren’t sure.
All you knew was that you were in what appeared to be a medical facility, and you were restrained.
On the bright side, you felt a ton better than you had before you passed out. Though a look around proved that it might have been because of whatever concoction of drugs they’d given you to numb the pain.
Well, with your increased metabolism, that comfort probably wouldn’t last too long.
You lay back, content to stay there until a doctor or nurse came in to check on you.
Twenty minutes later, long after the medication had worn off, someone entered the room.
The man, grey-haired and dressed in an immaculately pressed tuxedo, pauses for a moment when he realises that you’re awake before continuing on his course towards you and proceeding to check your vitals.
“How long have you been awake, Miss?”
You don’t respond.
Or rather, you can’t.
Pain grips you like a vice, wrapping its fingers around your abdomen, digging its claws into your skull.
Stupid damned metabolism.
Apparently, your pain and distress are visible enough for the old gentleman to see.
He frowns, leaning closer slightly for a moment before striding towards a row of cabinets, sifting through them before returning with a needle and a small glass vial. He squints slightly as he fills the needle.
A lot of what happens after that is lost to you in your pained daze. You’re awake, aware, but barely.
The older man is gone by the time you manage to pull yourself out of the strange, aching daze.
In his stead is Bruce Wayne.
The heart monitor betrays your panic, the sharp beeping filling the echoing space of the room.
He doesn’t speak or move from his spot beside your bed, instead observing you with a flat look as your heart rate slowly evens out again.
After a long bout of silence, he hold up a hand, waving it slightly, and-
And he’s holding the klystron conductor.
Of course.
“Do you want to tell me why you were ransacking my office for a multibillion dollar piece of tech?”
Your hands clench and unclench around the stiff sheets, and you lick your lips before responding.
“No, not particularly.”
You pause.
“Do you want to tell me why you hit me with your car?”
The corner of his mouth twitches.
He finds this funny?! What a psycho.
“Well, you did steal from me.”
“So you hit me with a car?!”
He raises an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed with your raised tone.
“Regardless… I’m guessing it has something to do with this.”
Every muscle in your body goes rigid as he holds up your watch, casually dangling it from his forefinger as he carefully observes you for any signs of a reaction.
Okay, okay, just… play it cool.
“What, a watch? Pfft, keep it, it’s not worth much. Just some piece of crap I won in a claw machine ten years ago.”
Your knuckles are white from the force of your grip as you all but strangle the bed sheets beneath your grasp.
He smirks slightly, nodding empathetically.
“Ah, of course. So, you won’t mind if I toss it in the trash, right? Since it’s just an old piece of crap and all that?”
You shrug, keeping your eyes on his and away from the watch. “Go for it.”
And he does.
He tosses it in the trash can beside your cot, still watching closely from some reaction.
You remain nonchalant.
“...hm, well. Rest up then. You’ll need all your energy- Prison in Gotham is a harsh place.”
You blanch.
“Prison? But- But technically I didn’t even steal! You got it back, didn’t you?”
His mouth quirks slightly at that.
Great. He finds amusement in my suffering.
“While that’s true, you did break into Wayne Enterprises. And my personal office. I have the evidence. That’s grounds enough for an arrest, wouldn’t you agree?”
He stands, sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a casual stance.
Fine. I can play along for a bit.
“...okay. I-I’m sorry. Fine, you can hand me over to the cops, just- Just please let me rest for a bit? I think you might’ve concussed me.”
He huffs a laugh, his eyes lighting up in amusement. He knows you’re lying. And you know he knows.
“Okay. Take all the time you need.”
He leaves without another word, not looking back.
And not a moment too soon.
As the door shuts, you glitch, painfully spasming, your cells electrified and fizzing.
You fall out the cot, collapsing onto the floor as you grip the edge of the trash can, rifling through it in your search for the watch.
Slipping it onto your wrist and tightening the clasp, you-
…this isn’t my watch.
The door opens again and in strolls the culprit, a self-satisfied look in his eyes.
“Just a piece of junk, huh?”
“Oh, fuck y-”
You almost bite your tongue off mid sentence as you glitch again, clinging to the railing of the cot as your muscles stiffen up and your blood roils in your veins.
He’s speaking, confused and panicked as he calls out to you, and then someone else, rushing towards you. You think his hands might be on your arms. You aren’t sure.
Then it’s over. You’re hunched over, all but sprawled on the sparkling white tiles, shivering and sweaty, fighting the urge to throw up.
But it’s over.
You squint up at Bruce.
His face is hazy, and so is the figure behind his.
Everything is hazy, but you can feel the strap of your watch on your wrist, his hand just above it. You can feel how dry your mouth is, and the pounding of the growing migraine in your temples. And you can feel your spider sense tickling the edge of your consciousness, slowly growing in urgency with each passing moment.
“What the hell was that?”
The voice is a new one, one you haven’t heard before. It belongs to the figure lingering behind Bruce.
His face comes into focus as the effects of your glitch wear off.
Blue eyes. Just as startling and off putting as Bruce’s.
In fact, he seems like a carbon copy. Almost. His skin seems slightly more tanned, and he’s leaner than his older companion. Shorter too, though just by a few inches.
“That…” you say in a weary manner, “was a glitch. A painful one. I don’t recommend trying it.”
“A glitch?”
You deadpan, pushing yourself into a sitting position, leaning against the wall adjacent to your cot for support.
“Yeah. I just said that. Pay attention.”
“So that watch keeps you from… ‘glitching’ then?”
Bruce and his companion sport matching expressions of intrigue and dread.
“Yep. Ten points to Gryffindor.”
“...what’s a Gryffindor?”
Good God, I should’ve let Miguel kill me.
“...doesn’t matter. I’ve overstayed my welcome.”
You get up with an embarrassing amount of difficulty, grunting as you pull yourself up using the cot’s railing. Your enhanced healing could only work so fast, it seemed, and clearly Bruce had done a number on you with the bumper of his car.
The short stride to the door is cut short as the young Bruce lookalike steps in front of you.
“Sorry, but we can’t let you leave just yet. Where exactly are you from?”
“Earth. Please move.”
“I can’t do that. You should sit back down, you don’t look too hot.”
You let out a strangled noise of disbelief.
“Excuse me, I look very hot. All the time.”
A deadpan look is all you’re granted in response.
That’s it, I’ve had enough.
“Seriously. Move.”
“No. Sit down.”
Bruce sighs, massaging the bridge of his nose as you and his mini-me engage in a stare down.
“Okay, that’s enough. Dick, back up. Miss, please, sit down before you hurt yourself.”
You pause, glancing at Bruce, then back at the man in front of you.
There’s a slight pause, and then-
You burst into a fit of giggles, clutching your pained ribs as you stumble back and collapse onto the cot.
“Your name is Dick? Dick? Seriously?”
His eyes harden at your laughter, his mouth pressed in a tight line.
“...it’s not that funny,” he mutters, unimpressed.
“Yeah it is. Who willingly allows themselves to be called Dick? I can think of six penis jokes off the top of my head. You’re practically begging for them.”
Bruce interjects before either one of you can continue, sending Dick a sharp look.
Ha. Dick.
“That’s enough. What I want to know is why you’re glitching. And you won’t be going anywhere until I find out.”
You deadpan, fixing him with an incredulous look.
“...no offence, but you can’t really keep me here.”
“I can, and I will.”
You snort, laughter bubbling up in your chest once more.
“No, I mean- You can try, but you probably won’t succeed. No hard feelings though.”
“What, you mean because of your superpowers? Trust me, they won’t do you much good around here.”
His words give you pause, and you stare up at him silently for a moment.
“I don’t- What are you talking about?”
“There’s no use playing dumb,” Dick interjects. “It won’t get you very far. We know about your abilities, and we’re telling you that we know about them so that you don’t try anything.”
“And what exactly do you plan on doing if I do try something? Money can only get you so far.”
Your words make Bruce’s mouth twitch into a small smile once again.
“I have a theory, one I hope you’ll entertain for a moment.”
He looks at you expectantly.
After a moment of deliberation, a heavy sigh, and a nod, he smiles in a self-satisfied manner and takes a seat on the foot of your bed. After a short nod to Dick, he exits the room, leaving you and Bruce alone.
“I think that you’re from Earth, like you said. Just not this Earth. I think that you’re from another universe or dimension, and you’re ‘glitching’ because you’re not meant to be here. Am I right?”
It’s an effort to hide your reaction and keep your face blank, but you manage. Barely.
“Well, that’s certainly an… interesting theory. What sparked that idea?”
He shifts, staring at you for a moment, resting his palms on his thighs.
“...you fell from the sky. Out of what I can only assume is a portal. And your cells are basically decaying without that watch- or at least, that’s what my colleagues at Star Labs tell me.”
You stiffen at his words, squinting for a beat.
“How do you know I came through a portal? The only person around then was that idiot with the cape.”
Bruce frowns at your words.
“The cape isn’t stupid. It’s practical.”
You deadpan. “It’s a deathtrap.”
“Regardless. I know about all that because…”
He pauses.
“Because I’m Batman.”
“...Batman? Is that supposed to be a superhero alias or something? That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard- Did you pick it yourself?”
He lets out a noise of exasperation, annoyance painting his features.
“Stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Changing the topic. It’s annoying.”
“...sorry.”
He shakes his head. “So? Am I correct in my assumption?”
You take a moment to think, really think, weighing your options. He didn’t seem like a bad person. Yes, he did hit you with his car. And yes, he wouldn’t let you leave, but…
But your spider sense had gone radio silent. If you were in any danger, it’d be ringing like crazy, so…
“Yes. Yeah, you are. I’m not from this Earth. I’m from Earth 662.”
“Earth… 662?”
“I just said that. Does everyone on this Earth struggle with processing information?”
He fixes you with a stern look before continuing on.
“So I assume you’re stranded here? That’s why you were trying to steal the klystron conductor.”
“Uh uh,” you tut disapprovingly. “I was borrowing it. I would’ve returned it… Eventually.”
Bruce nods along, rolling his eyes slightly as he continues.
“...Earth 662, huh… How many variations of Earth are there then-”
“I can’t tell you that.”
Your response is immediate and stern, leaving no room for debate.
Thankfully, Bruce doesn’t kick up a fuss.
“Hm… Well then, do you know how to get back?”
“Of course I do. I just need to fix up the watch. Hence the little heist I pulled off at your office.”
“And do you know how to fix it?”
You press your mouth into a tight line, avoiding the knowing look he gives you.
“Well, I mean… how hard can it be?”
He sighs. “That’s what I thought you’d say.”
There’s a pause, a lull in the conversation, and neither of you say anything for a long while, both lost in your own thoughts.
“Okay. Here’s what I propose. You obviously don’t know what you’re doing-”
“Hey!”
“-so I’ll help you out. I’ll help fix that watch of yours, and let you stay with me while we try to find you a way back home. In exchange, you’ll tell me about things from your Earth, and about the multiverse. Sound fair?”
As much as you’d like to argue, to refuse his more than generous offer, you know you can’t. You were smart, but not in the areas needed to fix the watch.
You needed his help.
Damn it.
“...fine. Deal.”
His hand feels cool and calloused in yours, and his grip is firm and reassuring.
If only you knew then how wrong things would go. Maybe you’d have refused his deal.
****
Four months later.
“...still nothing?”
“No. I’m sorry. I’ve sent Dick to Central City to find a few more parts.”
“It’s not your fault, I just… I really want to go home.”
It had been months.
You’d been stuck on this strange Earth, so similar to your own, for months.
While the Wayne Manor was nice, and its inhabitants lovely, you missed your home. You missed your family.
But there was nothing to be done about it. You’d damaged your watch more than you’d originally thought, the travel mechanism was completely destroyed.
Initially, you’d been foolishly optimistic, believing you’d return home within a week.
But that week had passed. Then another. And another.
Time kept passing, and you were still stuck here, four months later.
At least you had decent company.
While you didn’t exactly trust them, you’d grown fond of them. You might even have begun to consider them friends.
Dick had grown on you over the months, despite the rocky start to your friendship. He was reliable in a way that reminded you too much of the many variations of Peter Parker you’d met throughout your time in the Spider Society.
Tim, who you’d discovered was the ‘idiot in the cape’ you’d met on your first night on this Earth, was just as easy to get along with. At first, he’d thrown you off a bit with his unsociable personality, but he’d slowly opened up over time. Really, he was more of a nerd than anything else.
And he’d heeded your words of wisdom regarding the cape.
Damian, Bruce’s ‘prodigee’, was someone you still had trouble getting along with. Your relationship had improved over the months, but barely. Before, he’d outright ignore your presence. Now, he at least graced you with a nod of acknowledgement or the occasional verbal greeting.
How kind of him.
Bruce had become somewhat of a parental figure after he had walked in on you crying one night. While you were embarrassed, he’d taken it in stride, comforting you as best as he could, reassuring you that they’d find a way to send you back home.
“Oh, I know, I know. We’re all trying our best, just… try to be patient. We’ll find something soon, I promise.”
His palms rest on your shoulders, patting you reassuringly.
You nod in agreement, too tired and disheartened to say anything else as you mumble something about going to bed, turning to leave the room.
****
“And you’re sure no one knows she’s here? If they found out…”
“Yes Dick, I’m sure. I’m not an idiot, I know how to wipe a hard drive.”
There’s a slight lull in conversation as the two wait for the rest of the group to arrive.
A few minutes later, Bruce enters the room, Damian trailing behind him.
He walks to where the two are seated and puts the klystron conductor on the table before them.
“That’s the last one. Have you done everything else?”
Tim nods, gesturing to a singular hard drive placed on the coffee table.
“That’s the only remaining evidence of her presence on this Earth.”
Bruce nods and sighs, looking between the three men with him before Dick interjects.
“Do you- I mean, are we really going to do this? We’re supposed to be the heroes. This… This isn’t something we can undo.”
All three of his companions hold a steely glint in their eyes as they nod.
“I’m sure. It’s better this way. She’s just a kid, she doesn’t know what she needs. She’ll thank us for this in a few years.”
There’s a tense pause for a moment before he speaks again.
“Do it.”
And just like that, the final klystron conductor is destroyed, along with any hope you’d had of returning home.
“...she’ll thank us.”
#yandere#female reader#dark content#spiderwoman reader#spiderverse spoilers#spider-man: across the spider-verse#dc#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#kidnapping#injuries#unmentioned violence#yandere batfam#yandere batfam x reader#batfamily#yandere batfamily#yandere batfamily x reader
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WILDFLOWER
PAIRING: Obsessive!Ellie Williams x Reader
WARNINGS: NSFW, sexual themes(smut-with some story teehee), depictions of obsessive behavior, etc.
WC: 4k (sorry 😭)
DESCRIPTION: After a long day of Ellie being hot on your back, you can't find it in you to sleep properly at night. Unfortunately, your quick "breath of fresh air" doesn't last, as she has you bent over the kitchen counter with salacious intention.
A/N: Thank you guys for taking the time to read my writing!!!!!! c: 🖤 Somebody had asked for more Obsessive Ellie so I figured I would try to whip something else up. I have a pet peeve for not adding any context/storyline, so it does take a little reading before anything happens. Also, I hope this smut is decent, I haven't wrote a thorough smut fic in a whileee so I hope this suffices. Anyways, much love, sorry for the long note. <3.
It had been such a beautiful day, one that was worth encapsulating. One that could be painted a million times over and over again, and its vision would never get old. The sky was a canvas right in front of you, splashed with its earthly tones of purple and pink, and its low horizon spilled right into it with orange and yellow. You had been sitting in the field of wheat as you watched it, ogling at clusters of clouds dancing in the center of the troposphere. You were sprawled out against the dampened soil, your legs and your arms tickled by the soft straws of wheat, it was nothing but perfect. Everything was perfect. You wanted to drink up every last second of it. The rich smell of the fields, the beautiful view, and the sound of serenity. All of it.
“Hey! You okay out there?”, a sudden shout is heard from your house in the distance, and you peek your head up in response. Ellie is standing on the front porch, her arms crossed and her firm stance telling you that she’s feeling impatient. You chuckle to yourself lightly at the view, your hand lurching forward to grip the handle of your flower basket. “Yeah! Just a moment, I’m heading back inside!” you yell back as you stand up from the Earth, quickly dusting the crumbs of dirt and muck off the material of your jeans. Ellie stands there silently as she observes your approaching presence, a wave of relief casting over her worried features
“Okay, well…be quick, I miss you”, she then replies, and you almost want to laugh at her last demand, watching her fade away as she disappears back in the house. ‘Miss me? All I did was walk outside for a couple of minutes’ is what you wanted to say back, a defeated smile placed on your lips. Ellie was infamous for saying that to you anyways. ‘I miss you’. A repeated phrase she took much pride in telling you. ‘I miss you. I miss you. I miss you’, ever since you had moved onto this farm with Ellie. It seemed like she became more needy for your presence, and this was the one thing that confirmed it.
You follow after your lover inside, the old wooden door squeaking on its hinges as it shuts behind your form. The record player is spinning a selected vinyl in the back faintly, and you sway in amusement as you shuffle toward the dining room table, a grin plastered on your face. “You’re playing my favorite album”, you say contently, placing your basket in the center of the table. You reach inside to bundle up a litter of brown stems, examining your collection.
Purple Lupine wildflowers. You had freshly picked them from the forest, their aroma resembling something delicate and floral, and their small petals smooth and harmless against the curve of your fingertips. You had once read somewhere that they were a symbolization of imagination, and happiness. In a way, they reminded you of Ellie. They were beautiful and full of life, and so was she.
“I know” your beloved hums in response, your peripheral catching sight of her standing in the kitchen. “What’d you get?” she asks as she watches you group together the array of purple in your gentle palms, a curious glint forming in the black of her pupils. “Lupine flowers, they reminded me of you”, you grab the empty vase that is sitting on the table and slip your wild “bouquet” into it, not noticing the smug grin that forms onto Ellies face.
“Why’s that?” another question is formulated from her lips, and you giggle to yourself, your hands cautiously lifting your glass of flowers before you turn to approach your girlfriend-who is now staring at you from the sink, her hands tightly gripping the edge of the marble. “It’s a secret”, you tease as you place the vase amongst the cool surface of the countertop, your eyes shifting to connect with hers. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and her lips are curved upward enough to be considered a smirk. You love when she’s like this. Lovingly irritated.
You reach forward to press your lips against her cheek, your arms snaring around her neck and resting atop her white t-shirt, feeling the strands of auburn hair that naturally sat along the slope of her nape. A new track on the vinyl is being spun, one that’s romantic and swell, and you can’t help but recognize the adoration that seeps off the woman in your arms. How she melts into your touch, or how she’s too shy to admit she wants more than just a peck on her cheek.
Her smile is rich, and her eyes are squinted as the apples of her cheeks are lifted and tinted such a pretty rose. “You took so long” she breathes, and it’s just now that you notice her hands found themselves purchased atop the lining of your jeans, “I really did miss you”. She squeezes the skin on your waist, her touch feeling more suggestive than it usually did. Her tone thick and wisped with desire.
“Ellie, I was only gone for like- what? Thirty minutes?”, you giggle as you shake your head at her, trying to brush away the sensation of her fingers kneading into the flesh of your lower back, just above the swell of your rear. “More like an hour”, she corrects you, and you find yourself slipping out of Ellies hold before she tempts you with her hands more than she already had. Not now, you tell yourself. Not right now.
“I didn’t realize, I’m sorry, love”, your hands intertwine with hers, fingers interlocking into each other, “it won’t happen next time, okay?”.
With a roll of her eyes, all she does is nod sweetly, and with a tug of her hands against yours, she reels you back into the warmth of her body. You two sway to the music, laughs boisterous and sweet as your bodies cling to one another. Desire obvious but forcibly concealed as the dusk slips into darkness.
The night is tranquil as you slip away, shrugging Ellie’s hands off your figure with gentle nudges. Her face lay peacefully amongst her pillow, her slow inhales of air proving she’s fallen asleep, and her nose scrunching slightly, initiating her blissful state. The clock on your nightstand reads ‘3:24 am’, and you sigh as you sit against the edge of the bed, taking a few moments to think before you trail out of the room and into the dining room. You shiver while passing every open window, watching the wind disarray the cotton curtains, their sheets rising and falling with every blow.
It’s practically intimidating as you move alongside the walls covered in memoirs of you and Ellie, her portraits of only you plastered against the white walls and- what you imagine- stay forever staring at you. You swallow it all in, remembering her sitting upon her wooden stool, a palette set in her hand as she paints you on a canvas for what feels like the millionth time. It was a good memory, but it was also one that distressed you.
“I missed you”. Her words of desperation are flooding you as you enter the kitchen, and you reinvent the scene of you two dancing earlier in the evening. Her nails digging into the curve of your waist…her teeth just barely grazing against your neck. The way you both had just pretended to revel in the music, and most definitely not in the touch of one another.
You’re trying to piece the puzzle together. The way she refuses to admire anything else but you. The way she gets whiny when you distance yourself for too long. The way she caresses your skin with a burning touch, like she wants to devour you any chance she gets. Its embarrassingly comedic, because at the end of it all, she acts humorous. A simple grin that sits on her features, acting cocky, as if she’s nonchalant and none of it ever happened. As if she hasn’t been hot on your back all day, and now you can’t find it in you to sleep properly.
You take a quick breath before deeply exhaling, realizing this just might be your first moment in months where your lover is not wrapping around you. Might. It was silent, too silent. You had not recognized the sneaking footsteps that trailed behind yours.
“Hey”, you hear Ellie speak up just behind you, her voice thick and groggy, “what’s wrong?”. You turn in a panic, watching her take slow steps toward you, her eyes squinted, and her lips pruned from her rest. Moonlight is cast through the glass of the windows, speckles of dust just barely noticeable within it as they float diligently in the air. The light is falling upon Ellie, like she’s a star in the middle of a darkened night sky, and you find yourself more shocked from her angelic aura than her sudden presence.
“I’m sorry…did I wake you?” you watch as she adjusts the sleeves of her shirt, rolling the white cuffs up the length of her arm, the inken design of ferns apparent on her fair skin. You want to admire her right now, her glow untouched even under the dim light of your shared home.
The way her reddish hair was disheveled and drawn over her face, her eyes resembling gems as they follow your every move with a glimmer. Her legs are bare, silken grey shorts clad against her lean thighs, and you swallow the lump in your throat to conceal the wanton urges you have, to feel her muscles contract against you. She is a flower. Appearing innocent while she draws closer to you-who is leaning tiredly against the kitchen counter. What a remarkable hoax.
“Yeah, I noticed you left, everything alright?”, her arms are now crossed, and her head is tilted as she inquires you, a wondrous look imbedded on her face. You can’t deny your selfish thoughts, the urge to shake her and tell her she’s the primary reason you cannot rest. That you’re worried about her, and not just for the subtle hints earlier today. Instead, for her attachment to you every day, her hyper fixation on your every dotting thought or simple step. At the same time, why is it you who feels this way? Your selfish desire to feel her desecrate your skin. To completely ruin you.
You’re breathless, wordless, speechless, and wrecked with lewd wishes. You stand there in front of her, mouth agape, and no words spoken, and she just stares, confused as to why you won’t respond.
“Babe-”
“Right now…”, you cut her sentence off short, having the audacity to finally utter a word, “Ellie, I need you right now, please”. Your plea is everything but confident, your voice meek and shy while you beg, and almost immediately after saying it you begin to regret it. But there she stands, arms still crossed and her features still appearing shocked. Only this time, she’s taken aback from your undeniable want, sexual urgency just dripping off you. Then there it is, a cocky chuckle sounding from her grinning lips.
“I thought you said you weren’t in the mood earlier”, she snickers at you, obviously smug and acting full of herself, her gaze peeling the clothes off your body by each passing second. “I know, but-“, you start, goosebumps imprinting themselves on your skin, “I just-”. You keep your mouth open to initiate a reasoning, barely processing what to say next before two hands clutch themselves onto your waist, pushing you back roughly until your back bumps against the counter.
She silences your silly panic as her lips seal around yours, molding into your face until her nose is bending into the flesh of your cheek. She’s kissing you like she’s been starved, tongue whirling across your lips until her spit is mixed into yours, creating a lewd concoction off the tips of your tastebuds. It’s delicious, and it’s absolutely vulgar the way she is ravaging your mouth, her canine snagging your bottom lip in between every moist smack, and then she’s licking you up again, her lips not giving you any chance to escape.
“Ellie” you gasp, a dribble of translucent spittle webbing onto your lower chin. You had almost forgotten to breathe. She wantonly groans against you, shutting your pleading mouth once more as she moves her face against yours, catching angles where she can explore you the deepest. Her hands waste no time defiling you, rolling across your hips until they greet the skin of your ass, clutching you through the silk of your nightgown and holding the flesh there with a tenacious grip.
“Ellie!” you pry your lips away from hers, but she chases after you again. “Fuck, wait”, your chest is heaving with every gasp of breath, “too much”. The tension is so thick that you think it will destroy you. Correction- you think Ellie will destroy you. Especially with the way her nails sank into you, fingers rolling circles into your rear, feeling her hands tease your nightgown’s hem. She’s so close to your ache, so close to feeling you.
“Too much?”, she bites her lip with a smile, reveling in the way your mouth quivers with every nearing touch to your panties, “you said you needed me”. What a mocking statement, one that was too true to deny. You had asked exactly that. “Do you not want this?”. She draws out the question, trying to act like she didn’t know every miniscule detail. Trying to act confused as to what you wanted, but it was all to tease you. She knew if she had asked this, you would plead once more. And oh, you did. Shaking your head with glossed over eyes, so full of desperation and submission, no longer embarrassed to admit just how badly you yearned for the woman in front of you.
Now thoroughly bold and acting haughty, she goes for what she’s been edging, bundling up the satin of your nightgown into the palms of her hands and lifting it upward until its drooping down onto the floor. You’re braless and feeling bare in front of her keen fixation, your tits feeling cool against the sudden lack of coverage. You didn’t know if you should feel blessed for the lack of the undergarment, or judged from the way Ellie was drinking you in.
“You’re so beautiful” she mumbles before her lips delve into the crook of your neck, teeth hooking into a chunk of skin just enough to suckle on it. She’s hasty as she feels you up, her nails pinching into your two nipples and twisting them in circular motions, admiring the way they began to swell underneath her tenderization. Now perked and stiff under the pads of her fingers, she’s got you entranced in a spell of pleasure, one that’s brutal and pinching as she encourages your sensitive skin to succumb to her tortuous will. You whimper with every drag of her tongue along your skin, purple and pink ovals blending into your skin as she leaves her possessive mark over your jawline, shoulders, and collarbone. A colorful trail of her obvious infatuation.
“Turn around”, she demands, still kneading into the swell of your breasts, relishing in the way they sat perfectly in her palms. It was like your body was a temple created solely for her to worship. “Bend over the counter. Now”. You waste no time, slightly scatterbrained from even something as simple as her touch tracing circles over your areola. Your head is spinning from all the blood that is rushing to your face, heat deluding your intelligence and leaving you ditzy. Ellie has cast a spell on you. She has made you deeply, and utterly intoxicated with her intimacy.
Your breasts expand onto the cool, marble surface, your burning skin striking a rich comparison in temperature, and you ever so slightly shiver. Ellie is quiet behind you, being slow and mysterious as she lowers to her knees. The muscles in her forearms enhancing as she holds onto your calves gingerly, moving upward toward your heat in such a tantalizing way that it seemed more punishing than pleasurable. She leaves damp, and salacious kisses along the skin of your inner thighs, her pecks echoing tones of lust, and with every nip, you feel yourself clench around thin air.
“Such a tease”, you huff out, growing impatient to her little game of edging. Her hands are now looped around your legs and sinking into the front flesh of your thighs, stilling you with a squeeze. Veins protruding with every erotic grasp. “I’m a tease?”, you feel the way her face upturns against your skin, signaling her absolute enjoyment out of this. “You’re the one who’s been avoiding me all week, barely letting me touch you”, suddenly, you feel her cup your sweltering mound, a soft gasp of shock heard from you. She only snorts as she observes the sticky heat that taints her hand. “Wow, look at you”, another firm pinch through the satin of your panties, confirming that you indeed had already been slick from her within minutes of kissing and teasing. You bite your lip from embarrassment, already predicting how she’ll use this against you later.
“Let’s take a better look at you, huh?” Ellie whispers, her pitch so low as she hooks her fingers around the hem of your underwear, letting them grow loose against your hips, just enough for her to peel it off your sopping cunt. Your lips delicately curved and throbbing as you daringly clench for what feels like the hundredth time, sucking in nothingness that you wish was her fingers. She kneads into your ass, clamping down and bringing the skin upward to really see you in full glory, the moonlight casting through the windows, enhancing the shine of your arousal.
“Pretty girl” she praises, barreling up a bubble of spit upon her tongue before she lets it descend onto the flesh of your labia. She watches it streak through the flaps, her DNA pooling downward and whirling around your weeping hole. “I want you to say sorry” your lover requests, and you- who is anxiously anticipating the stretch of her fingers- don’t seem to comprehend her orders too much. “Hm?”, you mewl, ass wiggling against her iron-like grasp.
Suddenly, a stream of pain aches through you, running up your spine and burning into your sex. Ellie has slapped you, her hand whipping against your innocent clit. You let out a cry of agony, eyes watering from her harsh abuse on the area you find most sensitive. She repeats her words, this time, slower, and full of ridicule.
“Tell me you’re sorry about earlier”
“I-I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to avoid you”, you sob out, elongated sniffles and pleads bouncing against the walls of the kitchen. Your eyes are blurred as you look across the counter, catching sight of a hazy purple. The Lupine wildflowers sitting so diligently inside the glass vase. Their symbolization meaning imagination. You could only imagine what Ellie could possibly do to you now. Who would have thought she would have you bent over at such an hour, begging continuously for her to please you into spirals of bliss?
“Atta girl”, she replies, seeming satisfied whilst she props her thumb against the heap of your clit, drawing circles along it and smothering her spit against the velvety bud. You twist your hips from the attention, soft sighs lulling from your lips. Yes, you think to yourself. Yes.
She halts your rocking with a clamp on your thigh, but you could care less about the bruises she might leave, feeling absolutely intrigued as her middle and ring finger dance against your entrance. “Yes- please” you coo as you feel her thumb flick against the thick flesh of your clit, drool swarming in the corners of your mouth as she finally eases her two lengthy fingers inside.
Everything else in this world holds no meaning. Its just you and Ellie right now, bodies finding ways to connect in the most sensual ways, and you never want it to end. She has you so prettily sprawled out against the countertop, eyes sealed shut as you swallow her fingers in, deeper and deeper, your dripping amusement happily slicking against her, all the way to the top of her knuckles.
She’s an expert at this, especially after her many nights seducing you. Her fingers search around within you, finding the swell amongst your fleshy warmth, and then curling her fingers upward so she hits the bumpy tissue. She fucks you divinely, her two fingers easing out just to greet that spot again with a quick thrust, repeating the action as she keeps her thumb sending sparks of friction along your abused clit.
The sounds are just so tastefully dirty, your soaking wet mess squelching with every pump of Ellies fingers inside you, and your angelic moans and breathy whines accommodating it. What a scene this was. Ellie fucking your sloppy cunt as your ass stays perked in the air for her, legs trembling with every blissful pump, and your hands desperately searching for something to hold on to as your loving girlfriend draws you closer and closer. Her loving praises are everlasting as you take her so obediently.
“Oh-oh Ellie”, you wish to tell her you’re close, that her curled fingers are doing a number on you, but all that slips past your lips is gibberish and sweet sounds of pleasure, your eyes rolled far back into your sockets. So much that all you can see is black and splashes of white with every clench around her.
Abruptly, you feel the warmth of her lips suction against your sex, her tongue drawing a long stripe through your lips and up to your bud, kissing your ache away as her momentum picks up, fingers going faster with eagerness to see you crumble.
You feel abused, so much that it feels like her pleasure is too much, and you can’t find any humanity in you as everything is growing hazy and unclear. Your body feels like jelly with every lick of her tongue, so numb and lifeless as she does it over and over again, all until you’re heaving tremendously, stomach rising and falling with every sound you make.
You’re coming undone just from her fingers, not noticing her laughing in utter amusement behind you. Not only did you soak her, but your orgasm spurted out and was coated all over the floor. You’re dripping, release easing down the slope of your inner thighs as Ellie slips her fingers away from you.
Ellie Williams made you squirt. She really wouldn’t let you forget about this, not when you gave her such a show.
“Fuck, you’re messy”, she teases, her clamping hold on your thigh releasing. She stands from her kneeling position swiftly, her arms going to wrap around you to keep your stance straightened. Her face is soiled, smeared with your essence, and her temples are glued down with beads of sweat. But yet, she is satisfied with your taste lingering on her tongue.
You still can’t focus properly after that ripping state of euphoria that took over you, your naked body feeling cold and limp from your beloved’s torture. You only hum in annoyance, letting her cling to you like this, forgetting all about your worries that had corrupted you prior.
You focus your eyesight, vision still foggy from exhaustion. The sight of purple illuminated in front of you. The Lupine wildflowers. They remind you of her. It's always the same.
“Let’s go get you cleaned up”, the auburn-haired girl whispers, lifting you from the counter, sweat from your torso slick over the top. She guides you toward the bathroom, passing all the memoirs of you two for a second time.
The portraits of you still plastered on the walls the same way they had been before. Watching Ellie hold on to you the way she had always wanted to. Staring.
#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#tlou x reader#tlou fanfiction#ellie williams x reader
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I'm curious, any shenanigans with Wukong Ma and Macaque? :3 Or Ma and MK? (Can you tell I'm mildly obsessed with Ma?)
Tbh I’m not quite sure what you’re asking, I’m very sorry it’s my bad, soooooo I hope this suffices:
———
“I’m telling you dude he doesn’t understand slang,” Ma whispered to Wukong while they stood on a bench in Lotus Park while Macaque inspected a statue not that far off.
Wukong gave Ma a sceptical look, “Seriously?” He knew Macaque was kind of a social outcast having been a runaway from everywhere he’d ever been but Wukong figured with that much travelling Macaque must have been introduced to at least some slang.
“YEAH! Bro doesn’t right understand half the shit I’ve been saying!” Ma whisper yelled trying to keep her voice down so Macaque wouldn’t hear but failing miserably in the face of astonishment. “Look just watch.”
Wukong watched as Ma hopped off the bench and strolled over to Macaque.
“Hey yo, Mackers,” Ma said once she reached Macaque. Macaque turned around and gave her a quizzical look.
“What now?” Macaque asked.
“Why are you such a simp?”
Macaque stared, “What?”
“ For reals why you such a simp? No cap, spill the tea homie.”
Macaque continued to stare, utterly lost as to what the hell Ma was saying.
As for Wukong? Well he was to busy laughing his ass off to notice the subtle cracking that appeared on the statue Macaque had been inspecting moments before.
#Canon but not canon if that makes sense#ficlet#Lmk#reincarnation au#2nd chances au#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk monkey king#marshal ma#marshal ma jttw#Who’s the third wheel crew#ask#ty for asking!!#sorry it took so long!!#I’ve been busy#Lore
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•incorrect Haikyuu quote’s•
A/N: this is part one out of I have no idea, I will probably be doing your part with all of the schools. Also y/n is Ukais younger sibling. 
Karasuno:
———————————————————————
Y/N or Suga: When have I ever done anything brash or irresponsible?
Daichi: I keep a list it’s alphabetized.
———————————————————————
Kageyama: I’m gay and confused.
Asahi: About your sexuality?
Kageyama: Oh no, I just generally don’t know what’s going on.
———————————————————————
Ukai after Y/N did something stupid: I’m mortified, disgusted, humiliated, baffled-
Y/n: What are you a goddamn dictionary? 
——————————————————————
Daichi: Truth or dare?
Y/N: Truth.
Daichi: How many hours have you slept this week?
Y/N:
Y/N: Dare.
Daichi: Go to sleep.
Y/N: I don't like this game.
———————————————————————
Yamaguchi: Do you have a self-care routine?
Tsuki: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.
———————————————————————
Takeda: Why does Keshin always do the laundry so loudly?
Y/N: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house.
Ukai, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*
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Old couch Ukai, near tears: Please, Y/n, I don’t speak young people! I don't know what a ‘yeet’ is!
Y/N and Keshin in unison: Yeet.
———————————————————————
Ukai who just saw Y/N and Tsukishima walk out of the storage closet together: I've connected the two dots.
Y/n: You didn't connect shit.
Ukai: I've connected them
———————————————————————
Daichi: I'm not doing to well.
Asahi: What's wrong?
Daichi: I have this headache that comes and goes.
*Suga enters the room*
Daichi : There it is again.
———————————————————————
*Y/N rushes by with an armful of water bottles*
Yamaguchi: What's going on?
Tsuki : Y/N wouldn't drink water.
Yamaguchi : ...And?
Tsuki : And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle.
Y/N, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!
———————————————————————
Y/N: I have an idea.
Tsuki: A good idea?
Y/N: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
——————————————————————
*Y/N and Tsuki enter a dive bar*
Y/N: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink.
Tsuki, in a scuba diving suit: I would like to leave, now.
——————————————————————-
Tsuki: Is it still visible? Where Yachi slapped me?
Hinata : Your face looks like a don't walk signal.
Y/N: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.
Kageyama: A palm reader could tell Yachi 's future by looking at your face.
Yamaguchi : The phrase 'talk to teh hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.
Tsuki: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.
( currently obsessed with bad bitch yachi lol)
——————————————————————-
Y/N: Between Yachi , Yamaguchi , Tsuki, and Hinata -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
Kageyama: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
Y/N: Tsuki?
Kageyama: Yeah, 100%.
Tsuki from the distance: Fuck you too!
———————————————————————
Hinata : She was poetry, but he couldn't read.
Yachi : His name was Jared he's 19.
Kageyama: When his parents built a very strange machine.
Yamaguchi , singing: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen.
Y/N, singing: Eyyyy, Macarena!
Tsuki: Horrible job everyone.
———————————————————————
*The second years playing a team sport*
YN: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Ennoshita?
Tanaka : Have you ever played a game with Ennoshita?
YN: No…
Tanaka : Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?
*Meanwhile, on the other side of the field*
Ennoshita, chasing Nishinoya : I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!
———————————————————————
YN: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Tsuki: I do have a sense of humor you know
YN: I’ve never heard you laugh before
Tsuki: I’ve never heard you say anything funny
———————————————————————
YN: I turned out perfectly fine!
Keshin : YN, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast
YN: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!
———————————————————————-
YN who just spiked a ball at their grandfathers head: Am I going too far?
Keshin : No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
———————————————————————-
YN: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.
Tsuki crying in the corner because he’s been forced to spend time with them for the past week: Please dear god no!
———————————————————————
Asahi : Why are Daichi and Sugawara sitting with their backs to each other?
YN: They had a fight.
Asahi : Then why are they holding hands?
YN: They get sad when they fight.
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Daichi: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Sugawara: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Asahi : I got distracted about halfway through.
YN: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
——————————————————————
Daichi: Tonight, one of you will betray us.
Sugawara: Is it me, Daichi?
Daichi: No, it’s not you.
Asahi : Is it me, Daichi?
Daichi: It’s not you either.
YN: Is it me, Daichi?
Daichi:
Daichi, mockingly: Is IT mE Daichi?
———————————————————————
Daichi: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Sugawara: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Asahi : I personally was created in a lab.
YN: I just straight up spawned lol.
Daichi: I will kill all three of you.
YN: Like Tanaka killed you?
Daichi:
YN: Start running?
Daichi: Start fucking running.
#haikyuu incorrect quotes#haikyuu asahi#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!!#tsukishima x y/n#hq kageyama#daichi x sugawara#hq hinata#hq sugawara#hq x reader#hq headcanons
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sylvain jose gautier for the ask game
oiuhgggghhhggggggggggg…
first impression: it is important to note that i literally got into 3h because i knew it as “that game with sylvain in it.” i didn’t even know what to expect from him other than that. so when dimitri introduces him as “a bit of a skirt chaser” or whatever i’m like lol ok?? what??
impression now: if anyone is interested… go through my sylvain tags to get a feel for this. i’ve been spiraling lately. suffice to say i am SO sick about him like more and more every day. christ alive talk about a guy with problems. the way he is so smart and so soft but he is absolutely determined not to let anyone know either of those things… noooo I’m actually just a wacky little guy don’t worry about me… i’m just the comic relief… doing fine… yeah i know i said “burn until we meet again” and “see you in hell i guess” but that’s just because I’m being soooooo funny and normal… i’ve also never cried in my life btw…
fav moment: there are so many blink and you miss it unhinged sylvain moments in this damn game. i’ve talked about it recently but the fact. that if he does badly on a lesson and you pick console instead of critique he gets really bitchy and pissed off. like jesus christ. sorry for trying to extend you some gentleness buddy will not make that mistake again.
also let’s take a moment to recognize the iconic “it killed my brother and now it’s mine.” certified sylvain moment
idea for a story: i have billions. i never stop emotionally tormenting this man. got a 20 years post cf angstfest about he and felix coming. beyond that i am obsessed with the prospect of a sylvain/mercedes/ingrid ot3 and someday i am going write a fic with them that isn’t just the extensive smut that currently exists in my google docs
fav relationship: i have got to go with ingrid. i do very much ship sylgrid romantically and they make me sooooooooo unwell but even if i didn’t their friendship is just so important to me in a way i really struggle to put words to. the way they understand each other perfectly but that makes it almost harder for them to get through to each other because of all the layers of bullshit they have built up around the true version of themselves that the other sees. they bump heads a lot but the way it’s so obvious that under whatever they might be clashing about and the baggage of their years of friendship there is this foundation of unconditional love that is not going anywhere no matter what oh god suddenly i cant see the screen and there’s something happening to my eyes oh god
a fun thing about sylvain is that i could write equally unhinged paragraphs about his relationships with mercedes and dorothea!! something about girls he would normally flirt with and their response is :) hey i see you btw! and sylvain is forced to crumble like a little baby. i cannot get enough of that shit. get seen idiot. i’ve also been known to enjoy some yurivain and dimivain and claudevain for not dissimilar reasons.
unpopular opinion: once again idk what is popular!! i feel like my shipping tastes with him are not the most popular but everyone is nice to me when i talk about them so. it’s all good
favorite headcanon: most bisexual man on the planet. i also love making him work service jobs lmao. he works at subway in my sylgrid fic but there are so many other things i want to subject him to. he should have to sing happy birthday to people at applebees. he should be a barista at a shitty coffee shop. mostly this is because it’s funny but i also think would be deeply in character for sylvain to plant himself somewhere far below his skill level and languish there as if there were nothing else he could do about it.
tysm for letting me go off about him… man. sylvain.
#ask#sylvainposting#i just cannot get enough of people breaking down his denfenses#and ingrid mercie and dorothea all do it spectacularly but in different ways#but I also meant what i said in my yuri ask about wanting him to walk sylvain on a leash#there are many ways of fixing a man#sylvain jose gautier
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I never used to read 1st person POV fics until I read one recently from the wonderful femmequixotic, and I really really enjoyed it.
Do you read them and if so, do you have any recs ?
Hi anon! Excellent choice, can’t go wrong with Femme :) @lqtraintracks also kills it when it comes to 1st person pov, I don’t read it often but I love their stuff! Here are some recs for you:
Liturgia Horarum by @onbeinganangel (2022, M, 1.5k)
From morning melodies to evening encores, a day in the life through the soundtrack of routine.
Walk Right Through Me by @floydig (2021, E, 1.9k) cw: MCD, suicide
Every day, Harry drinks Polyjuice to disguise himself as he lives on the streets. Today, he observes a gaunt, shirtless Draco Malfoy walking around Knockturn Alley and is immediately drawn to him.
Even the Night by @tackytigerfic (2020, M, 3.4k)
Featuring lots of cigarettes, a Midsummer sky, close encounters in a bath, and plenty of fireworks.
Di sotto in sù by @vivantesopales (2022, E, 3.4k)
Draco thinks it's best they stop seeing each other. Harry disagrees.
Let Me Count the Ways by @thebooktopus (2022, E, 3.5k)
Intimacy comes in many forms. Draco wants to explore them all with Harry.
Student Digs by Lokifan (2016, E, 4k)
Harry’s living in *student accommodation*. Just the phrase makes Draco shudder.
Starstruck by phrynne (2018, E, 4.5k)
Yeah, Malfoy has pink hair. Or sort of. Half of his hair is shaved short and dyed an aggressive pink. The other half is still white-blond, a strand falling over his right eye, only the left side of his face visible at all times. He turns it slightly and spots me beyond the moving bodies. He doesn’t stop dancing, a smile plays on his lips. This time I don’t look away like I used to when all this began.
Two Starts, One Finish by @lqtraintracks (2021, E, 5.4k)
I feel him before I see him. Nobody stands this close to me while I’m playing, and I’m about to turn to tell him so when he says, “You’re a tough bloke to track down,” and then leans against my baby grand.
A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks (2020, E, 6k)
It’s 8th year and everyone’s still a bit messed up. Harry and Draco fall into being messed up together.
Checking out the Opposition by birdsofshore (2014, E, 6k)
Harry and Draco seem quite wound up after their latest game of Quidditch.
Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (2016, E, 6.2k)
Potter escorts me home, presses me into my front door and kisses me with a ferocity that’s exhilarating. And then Potter asks me, in a growl that makes my cock throw a wet tantrum in my pants, how many more dates I would deem mandatory before I let him fuck me. I drag Potter to bed.
When the Fallout Comes by @maesterchill (2020, E, 7.6k)
Draco Malfoy, hard-as-nails Hit Wizard, has a secret obsession. Well two of them. Or ten, depending how far that metaphor can stretch. It's hard to put a finger on exactly when it tipped from the occasional off-hand observation into something more gripping, but suffice to say it's now getting a touch out-of-hand. Hands. It's Potter's hands. He's obsessed with Potter's hands.
The One You Feed by @sweet-s0rr0w (2021, T, 10k)
Draco's been a werewolf for almost twenty years now, and he's an expert in helping new werewolves adapt to the change. He's seen it all before - or so he thinks, until his newest client, a recently turned Harry Potter, arrives on his doorstep.
Breaking The Line by kedavranox (2014, E, 20k)
Draco was a Dom for hire. Harry was his best client. But Harry disappeared and now Draco’s retired. Draco’s doing fine (he’s even attending parties!) but who should show up to the latest BDSM shindig, but Harry Potter himself? Can Draco play with his ex-client without breaking the line?
The Last of What the World Left You by @xanthippe74 (2021, T, 25k)
If the wizarding world won’t give Draco a second chance, he has a plan to survive: live in his Animagus form, a carrion crow, in the Forbidden Forest. Not only does Harry Potter come along and ruin it, he’s radiating a strange aura of power. With nowhere to go and a Life-Debt to his mother that Potter insists on repaying, Draco puts himself into the hands of the reclusive Boy Who Lived. Will the bleak corner of Yorkshire where Potter makes his home be another dead end or an unexpected refuge?
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All in all, it got me thinking so much, did F!Leo never think that without him the brothers might have become completely different people?
Maybe they would have felt all their lives that they were missing Junior? They felt a great longing for someone they didn't even know. Maybe it would have changed them. Would they ever be able to forgive F!Leo for taking their brother away from them?
Yes I’m so glad you brought it up because you see I have been doing some thinking on how this would actually affect the family. I did mention something about an its a wonderful life scenario. So prepare for my ramblings good citizens!
To talk about how the boys were affected you first have to talk about Splinter... Yeah he did not handle the loss of his son well at all. He spent a lot of their early years out looking for Leo jr. Who he could never find and eventually gave up, believing he was dead. This made him super paranoid and he will pack everyone up and force them to move every few months at random with no warning. Admittedly I haven't thought much about his personal arc that will come with time suffice to say he is even more neglectful than in canon.
Raph has DID in this au because I made an entire comic about it so clearly I’m obsessed with the idea. Raph as 3 alters Red(inspired by Red.Angel.Of.Preventing.Harm), Savage and Raph himself, Mind Raph’s role has sort of been replaced(we’ll get to that). Savage is obsessed with finding ‘blue’ he will front and go out scouring the sewers for him, during that time it’s not safe for anyone to leave the lair. Raph is very much like what he is in canon except he fronts less sharing the body between Red and Savage more often and is somehow more anxious and pressured to protect his brothers. In place of Mind Raph he has a vision? Hallucination? Straight up Introject Alter? of Leo jr as a child who acts very bright and bubbly, a representation of the little brother he couldn't protect. Red has the same except his version of Leo is as an older teen who mocks him for his failings as a brother. His Leo represents the brother they all need, someone who could do a better job than him who could actually keep the family together. Red resents Leo jr for the hole he left behind in the family and his own projected issues. Feeling incredibly guilty for blaming a most likely dead kid for his own short comings. Red is the only one that ventures beyond the sewers after Splinter stopped, doing supply runs and the like.
Mikey in this is still trying to play the role of family therapist but is getting tired/burnt out from it. All his attempts, strategies and plans always fail or get shot down so he is halfway to giving up. His attitude is less upbeat because of this leaning more towards Dr Delicate touch. The only one really willing to spare him time is Raph who smothers him so Mikey keeps trying to distance himself. He yearns for independence(or to just get out of the lair away from the stifling negativity there) but he’s not allowed to go to the surface. So usually when Savage isn’t out and about he is going around painting the sewers. Mikey’s only confidant and support by their teen years is Leo jr. When every things too much and he’s alone Mikey will just go lie down in the room that they have always had set aside for leo and talk to their air. He likes to pretend Leo jr is the brother he needs that he never had, that believes in him that would help bring the family together for movie nights and to have fun.
Donnie is practically a stranger to the family. He never leaves the lair and rarely leaves his lab, too paranoid that someone is going to come back and take him or the others next. He spends his time making weapons and fortifying whatever lair they have set up in. No one in the family really understands him the way his twin would have and with barely getting to spend any time with him they don’t know how to accommodate him. Splinter picking them up and moving them every few months sets him off like nothing else not only is he out of the safety of the lairs he had fortified but he has to get used to a whole new environment, readjust with little to no warning. Which(speaking from experience cough cough) can be really hard, especially when you’re Autistic. He will often have mental shutdowns or meltdowns just needing to hide himself away under a desk or in a closet for hours to calm down, this is a bi weekly event. He doesn't morn Leo junior the way the rest of them do, more so fears the unknown of what happened to him. That mourning period comes after they meet(because come on I’m going to make them meet at some point the fluff and the angst potential is too much) where he can grieve what could have been.
So all in all it’s going to be very hard to forgive the man that took their brother away.
#rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise#rottmnt#f!leo#future leo#future leo au#leo junior au
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Gangs of Paradis...
Unpopular opinion alert. Some may call it sacrilegious to say this, but if it were up to me on who got the focus in this series.....
I would rather take these guys........
And certainly THESE guys....... (Lynne’s my spirit gal.....)
Or even THESE guys........!
Instead of having been forced to put up with.......
These assholes.
139 chapters and the famous EMA trio just does NOT deliver on the promise of their long journey. And most of the fault lies with the goddamned timeskip.
I mean sure Armin’s fine, he was certainly the most sympathetic and the wisest of the three even if I’d say he also didn’t escape the timeskip unscathed......
But Eren Motherfucking Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman are the main heart of this story........and it is nothing but pure cringe at the end.
Mikasa NEVER develops into a truly three-dimensional character, again due to her singleminded, one-sided obsession with Eren in a relationship that no sane individual would actively choose to pursue. To say they had one is being generous, character-killing love confession be damned, shippers. But Eren may very well be the weakest link, remaining a largely uncoordinated and mindless killing machine through the earlier seasons and never really developing believable relationships with his main circle OR with Mikasa. Worse still, his motivations are completely subverted by the final act, with him committing to possibly the most idiotic revenge plot in recent memory. I mean what else can I say about how fuckular Eren’s scheme is? Between the time loop, orchestrating his own mother’s death, eliminating the world but still leaving Paradis open to attack later AND the fact that it took a massively contrived final confrontation with Mikasa to help some long dead ghost snuff out the Titan curse......Just thinking about it pisses me off, it’s beyond comprehension.
Yeah, Ymir Fritz, that’s another one I’ll have to get back to later, she’s another can of worms entirely.....
There isn’t much I think I can add about everything wrong with Eren and Mikasa’s toxic relationship and how the story’s final resolution literally hinged on that finding resolution, but the story of Attack on Titan continues to age badly the longer you reexamine their respective arcs long before Marley was ever a whisper in the series.
Meanwhile.............You had these AMAZING squads that gave us the likes of Petra Ral, Oluo Bozado, Lynne, Gelgar, Miche Zacharius, and of course Levi Fucking Ackerman himself.......Who WOULDN”T want to see more of those respective bands?
The minor characters of the series left far more positive impact on me than any of the EMA trio ever did. And I’m far more heavily invested in them than I am in a trio that simply did not justify their critical involvement in the series.
I want to see more of Petra, more of Lynne, more of Miche, more of Thomas, I want to see those who had the skill and character to really carry themselves and the story further, possibly with a more positive impact than the main trio. And I’ve been very busy lately ironing out their personalities and arcs they could’ve enjoyed.
And let’s not forget others worthy of mention....
You could’ve had the entire series focus on Ymir and Historia and that could’ve sufficed all by itself. It certainly is a far more compelling pairing and a more complex one than Eremika ever was. Both of them got dealt a raw deal, so much potential here just was never taken advantage of.
And of course....
Honestly without Sasha, Connie and Jean really struggled to find ANY place in the remaining portion of the story, I am still convinced Sasha could’ve carried this as the actual main girl over But at least with the three of them their relationship felt far more organic and real than EMA’s a lot of the time.......at least until the timeskip. I think you all can sort that one out for yourselves.
Any of the aforementioned groups could’ve easily been greater than EMA. EMA got 139 chapters of development and in the end it just does NOT warrant it.
But everyone else who was there at one point or another along the way before the timeskip...........they are worthy of another chance.
In summation guys.........EMA sucks ass. Armin gets the least of the blame but Eren and Mikasa are just not the strong characters the story wants us to believe they are. And Hajime Turdyama should’ve given all the aforementioned the space to be even greater.
Everyone Deserves Better. Just not this A-Team.
#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#shiganshina trio#anti attack on titan#anti eremika#eremika#eren x mikasa#eren yeager#Eren Jaeger#fuck eren#Anti SnK Ending#snk 139#anti snk 139#snk anime#aot anime#aot manga#snk manga#snk fandom#aot fandom#aot angst#snk angst#SNK analysis#AoT Analysis#squad miche#snk nanaba#aot nanaba#aot lynne#snk lynne#snk gelgar#aot gelgar
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Helluva Boss
How dare you make me feel things, you stupid crude show about bad people doing bad things.
So because I have become cautiously obsessed with Hazbin Hotel, and you cannot go anywhere near that fandom without also having to hear about Helluva Boss (and specifically Fizzarolli), I watched a few episodes. And then binged almost the whole thing in an afternoon. And by episode seven, I literally did say, out loud, “How DARE you” at my TV screen.
So suffice it to say I’m impressed, and I was, once again, wrong about a thing.
For people not online or who, like me, just ignored it, Helluva Boss is a youtube animated series about four creatures that live in Hell and run an assassination agency. Literally nothing about that interested me, which is why I’ve been ignoring it when it appeared on my various feeds. But what it’s really about is finding healthy emotional connections with other people despite your emotionally damaging past. And that is entirely my jam, so I am not surprised to find I love it.
But anyway. Let’s start with why I was so horrendously wrong about this series to begin with.
I watched the first episode and a half a while back, and stopped watching halfway through the second episode because it just wasn’t clicking with me. Blitzo’s character annoyed me, and I don’t like watching bad people do bad things. And it was obvious Moxxie wasn’t the main character, despite his character being something I would have liked to have watched. I like shows about hope and family and personal triumphs and other such positive outcomes. The first episode and a half of Helluva Boss is about evil little creatures running an assassination agency in Hell and bitching at each other constantly while their boss carries on a toxic relationship with one of the elite for profit.
But what I should have noticed, in that second episode, is an exchange that not only made me laugh, but has stuck in my brain ever since:
“I’ll pay you~!”
“Pay me what?”
“Money~!”
I still don’t know what about it got through my wall of distaste, because in context it’s not that great. But I think it’s actually very representative of the show’s layers. It’s using sex to make a joke that has nothing to do with sex. It’s freaking vaudevillian!
On the surface, the show is crude and stupid. It appears to go for cheap jokes, and thinks that swearing is funny, and sex is everything, but none of that is true. The show is lying to you from the outset, and it’s…. remarkably upfront about that fact. So much so that you assume it must be a double-blind until it sucker punches you right in the feels.
The swearing, the violence, the crudeness… that’s all just set dressing. That’s the stage, the environment. And it took me until the end of an episode called C.H.E.R.U.B. to realise that, because as I watched Millie and Moxxie make out as they rained violence and carnage on an entirely innocent theatre, I acknowledged I was still grossed out, but that was more about the animation than what was actually happening (I also just never need to see tongues intertwining. I don’t). I realised that I was otherwise cheering them on entirely. And when the C.H.E.R.U.B.s got denied entrance back into Heaven, I was like “…yeah, justified, you arrogant jerks.”
(Except the goat kid. The goat kid should’ve been given another chance.)
Because in the world that the show had created, in the stage and the environment, the reality crafted… the imps were justified. Are justified. They’re doing perfectly reasonable jobs and taking perfectly reasonable actions within the reality they live in.
And even the people who aren’t nice or good, like Blitzo and Luna, the show doesn’t waste time hiding why they aren’t nice or good people. I don’t need to resort to fanfiction to explore why Blitzo pushes people away or keeps trying to impose himself on his employees’ happy and loving relationship. The show goes out of its way to make it perfectly obvious that he wants that joy and love for himself, without ever taking it away from them, he just doesn’t know how to get it in a healthy way. The show is quite happy to show me that in simple, stark detail, never lingering on it or making it overwrought. These are just facts, and the show is about getting Blitzo to a better place despite the aforementioned set dressing of his whole world.
What I find so impressive is how quickly I just accepted it all. There’s a lot that works together to build the world – the characters, the environment, even the musical numbers. I disliked the “Cotton Candy” song a lot, but damn if it wasn’t exactly what that character and the whole party she was at was about. Most of the time, the world is so logically put together that you don’t even need to explain it. And so the crudeness and violence quickly stop being crude and violent. They’re just part of the world. And you get the hang of what’s acceptable and not, and that enhances the subtleties of the characters’ interactions. It can be very hard to explain, but you know when Blitzo is actually crossing a line, and you know he knows it too. But why that moment was different than the other six times he's done something horrible in the last minute is… complex and difficult and kind of wonderful.
But that makes the emotional hammer throws even more effective. Because you’re skating along, watching the subtleties, enjoying them playing out, and then suddenly Blitzo’s having a very real and beautifully done breakdown on his couch (seriously, screw you Mr Rogers, that hurt my soul) and you remember you’re supposed to be watching a silly cartoon about Hell-demons killing people.
It’s not perfect, of course. The conflicts between characters often don’t land right, because the work hasn’t been done to lead up to them. Blitzo on the couch killed me, but the evening leading up to it and the final confrontation with Stolas seemed clumsy at best. In hindsight, it was perfectly in character and perfectly fine, but up to that point, the show had not done nearly enough to showcase the power imbalance between Blitzo and Stolas. It still hasn’t, in my opinion. Because as much as I am aware that Stolas is a prince, with power and influence, almost every time we see him, it’s showing how little power he has. He’s weak and helpless, and Blitzo is one of two bright spots in his otherwise miserable life. Compare Blitzo, who is running his own startup quite capably, is dexterous, athletic, a great shot, apparently good in bed, appears incredibly confident (even if we know it’s a lie), and has Stolas wrapped around his finger. That’s what the show has shown me. The power imbalance appears balanced by the personalities behind it. They should have had a few more scenes showing us Blitzo feels like he’s at Stolas’s beck and call, rather than the other way around. They should have shown us more of him feeling pressured. His complaints, to this point, felt like excuses and pride, not genuine discomfort. So that whole conflict kind of… just… didn’t land.
And similarly… the politics in general. Not to compare franchises, but the Hazbin Hotel pilot, in ten minutes, set up everything that I think I will need to know about the politics of the Pride Ring: Lucifer is King and probably incredibly powerful, but the sinners do not give the slightest damn about that. They fight amongst themselves, and all that really matters is who commands the most power and the most fear. And then they get slaughtered once a year by the actual power in Hell: Heaven’s killers. Simple. Helluva Boss has… Goetia and the Sins, and apparently there’s some kind of hierarchy between the rings, and the kinds of demons, and sinners are somewhere in that mix as well, and… I’m still not Christian. Still don’t know any of the background reading. I’m very sorry. And none of it has actually been explained to me.
And no, I will not watch the streams or read any Dante to make sense of it.
But because of that, the whole thing in the most recent episode did not hit home for me. Two sins square off, and one of them, Lust, is forced to admit he feels love for his lover. The other, Greed, tells him he’ll regret admitting that. And I’m sorry, I know the fans love that episode, but to me, that was just a bitchy and pathetic comment, not the weighty call-forward that I think it was supposed to be.
Because I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what risk there could be in Lust admitting he feels love. Except his image, and honestly… whatever. As much as the world is Hell, where bad things are normal, the only characters that have actually even implied that love is a bad thing are the Sin of Lust himself and his lover. And yet I’m supposed to think him admitting his hypocrisy is some huge risk? What? Why? Is he going to get demoted? Is Heaven going to complain about him not playing his role? He doesn’t seem worried about that. What is the problem here? I’ve only even met this guy like three times, why do I even care what happens to him?
I mean, I worship at the altar of James Munroe Inglebert’s charisma too, but come on. Give me some stakes before you ask me to care about them!
I think that actually encapsulates why I struggled to finish the second episode. Helluva Boss is a great show, and Blitzo is an incredibly compelling character, and I want to see his story. I love Millie and Moxxie. I like Luna. I like Stolas. Fizzarolli is overhyped but I really did like his storyline and how it played out. But the first couple of episodes… they do not at all set up the show they’re introducing. They set up a wild and wacky show about Hellish creatures being vitriolic best buds while committing mayhem. And, I mean… yeah, but… also… really… no. No, not at all.
So.
So… like…
What?
How dare you make me care, and… what are you trying to make me care about now? What?
#helluva boss#also the voice actors#incredible performances#emotionally devastating show#hiding behind crudeness#but the world building is so inconsistent
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bracken i hardly go there re: gomens but i’m so excited for the aro crowley fic <333 srsly so awesome can’t wait to readdd
literally my influence (has said absolutely nothing about the content of the fic except to declare that i'm losing my mind)
no it's gonna be so good though. gonna be my pride and joy. my doctoral thesis in fandom. all the excatholic girlies are gonna be obsessed with it all the aspec good omens fans are gonna be delighted. i'll start posting excerpts on here at some point and not just dming them to people haha. just for you <3
genuinely though so funny how i went "yeah quick fic! he's so aro haha" and wrote a little vignette about his plan with the rain and now i've covered adam and eve and cain and abel and gender roles within romance (<— barely scraped the surface so far. much more yet to say) and transgenderism in shakespeare and the difference between the way that god loves and the way that humans love and an angel's implicit capacity (or lack thereof) to love and what the central conflict and nature of aziraphale and crowley's relationship really is and i haven't even talked about them as nanny ashtoreth and brother francis yet. which. talk about gender roles.
anywayyyyy it's 5k already. so. only up from here <3
little excerpt for you my darling my dear my most beloved:
“Do you think we’re capable of love, Angel?” he asks Aziraphale, on another of his ill-advised nights. The alcohol makes a good excuse for nights like these. “Not just you and me, but all the angels, and the ones who…” he waves a nonspecific hand. “Were. Before.”
“Demons, you mean?” Aziraphale has an uneasy tilt to his words.
“That. God loves, and humans love, but… were… we? Built for that?” And he’s edging too close to the things they don’t talk about, asking questions like these. Calling them a we. He’s practically got a foot over their unspoken wall already. He redirects as best he can. “Do you think you have love?”
Aziraphale looks at him oddly, and a strange aspect comes over his expression, a wash of pity that immediately has Crowley tense and edging away. He doesn’t like being pitied. Doesn’t think it’s good for him. Aziraphale looks at him, pitying, perplexed, and asks, “Do you think you might have lost it?”
Crowley presses his mouth closed, as if his jaw were a snake’s again and his tongue a mouse, and sobers up. He stands. He leaves. They don’t see each other again for a good while.
He can’t explain why he’s feeling… scratch that. Scratch it out completely, with claws and teeth and black ink and whatever might suffice. He can’t explain what he’s feeling. Something roils around in his brain at that thought: that maybe he had a love before, something like God’s, or the humans’, or something entirely different, and he lost it as he fell.
He practically falls in front of a mirror, splaying his hands on either side of it to keep him upright, and he can’t tell if the image in front of him is swirling and swaying because his form has once again taken on the state of his mind, or because there’s something like moisture in his eyes.
Not tears. He wipes them savagely on his sleeves. He throws an empty clay pot at the wall. The shatter is satisfying, but it doesn’t stop the feeling that’s clawing around the edges of his chest and squeezing at everything inside it. It’s the feeling that’s unbearable. He can’t stand feeling. Things are so much easier when he doesn’t.
And, the feeling whispers, traitorous and echoing sinister in his ears, sounding like his own snake-voice, is it easier if you don’t feel love? Have you driven off this feeling, too?
status update:
#ALL ROUGH DRAFT WORK! normally i'm pretty good with my writing on the first pass but i am so desperately trying to get ideas#on the page right now. that it is truly a rough draft. and i'm going to have to do a lot of polishing and editing work after i'm finished#which is to say that this writing is fine but just know that it will be even better :)#my metaphor game is fucking awesome rn though. by the way.#anyway jules i love you sooooo much i'm kissing you rn <3#ask#aro crowley fic#it has its own tag now. i think it deserves it.#i don't see an end to the unhinged posting in the near future i have to be so honest#fanfic
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i've seen love in the air (LITA) and i would like to argue in its favor... i think in 2022 we should all be past demonizing or belittling bl shows which plot focuses mostly on sexual relationships as if they're an unimportant part of lgbt people's lives (this has happened recently with ''only friends'', just after the trailer was released, its own director had to come out and /defend/ himself against what were blatantly puritan and subtly homophobic ''bl fans'' making this same argument).
first of all, LITA is a romance bl so of course, the main plot is about the main characters falling in love with all it entails. and they do a excellent, excellent job at portraying 4 very different people in 4 different stages/backgrounds in life with 4 very different life experiences and how they come together and work through all things standing between them.
LITA is more than a simple romance bl that says nothing once it's done. it has incredible SA survivor representation with all that it entails (dealing with PTSD, how it affects someone's perception of love and sex, how people help victims, how to slowly heal from it, etc) and it also has a great representation of ''you're more than just someone's boyfriend and being in love is not everything in life'' in the sense of academic success, hard work, determination, etc.
yeah the NC scenes are good because the chemistry between the actors is great, but there's literally 5 NC scenes in 13 episodes total and they all make sense in the totality of the TV show.
i understand romance-based bls might not be everyone's cup of tea and people would rather watch things like triage, manner of death, not me or vice versa, which are more about the storyline than the love line, but ruling out LITA just because it's got NC scenes in it is doing a disservice to the effort and talent the actors have in portraying human, real and raw lgbt love experiences.
i hope you can give it a try, especially prapai and sky's story, since it tells a very beautiful tale of care, acceptance, overcoming trauma and building a healthy support system. <3
okay, that's another way to see it. the way you describe this series makes it sound way better than the basic university bl it seemed to be, which makes it seem actually interesting. I still probably won’t watch it bc I have many other shows in store & also sa survivor storylines that are too graphic bother me. (also mame’s OBSESSION with having sa survivors in every single on of her stories is weird, I’m sorry 💀 especially considering she’s romanticized sa multiple times as well 💀) that being said, I wanna make something clear (which I thought was clear if you scrolled to my blog but anyways): I am not against sex scenes. only friends is one of the 2023 shows I'm the most excited for, and I've praised p'jojo's (the same director) works featuring sex as an important part of life like the warp effect before. my issue with sex scenes in bl comes with bl not being a genre for lgbtq+ people to start with. it suffices to look at the original novels that inspire 99% of thai bl shows: they almost all feature & excuse sa in some form, and rely heavily on stereotypes of the small feminine main character with his pushy masculine love interest to only present ONE type of relationship, when lgbtq+ people are all unique & different. sure, bl has now a huge lgbtq+ following & many of the people creating bl shows are now lgbtq+ themselves, but that doesn't mean that most bl shows aren't still mostly meant for straight women. and if anyone opens their eyes for five seconds, they will realize that there is a reason why bl shows are a thousand times more sexual than straight thai dramas: bc most of those scenes are for fanservice rather than in service of the plot. and fyi I LOVE romances. it's the reason I love thai dramas so much, bc pretty much all of them are romances in some way. and I LOVE well done sex scenes like seanwhite's first time. so to pretend I'm demonizing all bl sex scenes instead of acknowledging the truth that most bl sex scenes are unnecessary & only there to arouse its audience is misplaced. if non bl thai dramas were as sexual as american shows for example, I wouldn't say a thing bc this oversexualization would be generalized (still not sure it would be okay though.) but here it's present ONLY in bl, which tells me everything there is to know.
xxx
#answers#also - I didn't start the discourse about love in the air so I would appreciate it to not continue further#I don't have the energy to argue about shows I haven't watched.#ALSO the thing with only friends is that it uses sex to carry a message - that often sex is used to avoid real intimacy & love with others#the sex in shows like don't say no & cutie pie said what? that the couple is in love? yeah we got it the first time.#(also a dumb pet peeve of mine is when people talk about a group of bl shows & don't put not me first cijdeihbdc let's be fucking for real)
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The Person On Your Mind in July 🎱 2023 - Capricorn
Whole of their energy towards Capricorn: The Hierophant
Feelings: King of Wands
Intentions: 10 Cups
Actions: Queen of Pentacles & Judgement rev
This is a very serious, structured, morally above-board person, possibly an ex, and they pretty much blame you for everything that went wrong in this connection. They could be a fire sign, this is someone that knows what they want, and sets off to get it however they have to. They feel like they’ve had a lot of success since this connection has ended, and could be married now or committed to someone else. Your messages show you being very casual, not at all serious with this person, and they’re like “yeah, that’s the problem”. They did want to, at one time they committed everything they had to you, or they were ready to, the intention was 10 Cups, so they did see you as potential to be everything. Now they have no hope of that and have disconnected entirely. In the actions there’s nothing except “Capricorn hasn’t learned anything”, there are still some toxic elements in you that need healing, per them, and they want nothing to do with this anymore. In their mind, they’re succeeding elsewhere now. You don’t seem that bothered by it either.
Messages:
Their side:
- Obsessed with work
- Going in different directions
Your side:
- It’s not that DEEP
- Sports fanatic 🏈
- Booty Call
Possible signs:
Taurus, Leo, Gemini, Capricorn & Libra
If you’re dealing with:
Ace of Cups could show you looking for that next new love, desire, hobbies even. Your focus is on the new, not the old, and anything new will suffice. Even if you’re not into a person, you aim for new experiences no matter what you’re doing. You could be playing the field and dating different people just waiting for the right fit with someone, for all I know these are all options on your Tinder list. “Which sign should I pick, they’re all kinda lame?” is the vibe I’m getting most from you 😆
Aries - could lovebomb, manipulate, purposely involve substances that lower your boundaries, Chariot rev is saying absolutely not, if you’re/they’re being blocked from moving forward, just trust it’s for a reason
Taurus - you both like each other but no one crosses that line, could just be friends and that’s it
Gemini - a genuine opportunity that could lead to something worthwhile, if you’re unsure about it or whether they like you, they do
Cancer - someone at work with a shady past, their priorities are money, career, and that’s it
Leo - obsessssed with wanting to talk to you, but defensive they have to “chase” you, which their pride will not allow them to do
Virgo - healed from something painful and rushing back to talk to you, wants to give this another chance
Libra - could be going through a break-up with them, they’re acting snide, vengeful & petty right now
Scorpio - apologizing for hurting you
Sagittarius - feels deeply upset and betrayed by secrets of yours, or that is switched
Capricorn - not making a decision is a huge burden, either you or them
Aquarius - very slow healing but there is also deep love here, whatever the relationship
Pisces - saving money to pay off debts and/or build their credit, focused on other things right now
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Un-Harrieanon. Yeah that’s the issue actually, lol. I know all of that. I read some of your masterpost and I already knew a lot of it and just chose not to demonize him for it. Again- the thought process is Louis loves him so I do too. So when it really comes down to it, I know I don’t like him that much as a person, in 2022. I know WHY. (The livestream moment of clarity was an ick) But my brain still thinks Louis loves him. So the real question I’m asking you (I think. Seriously brain scrambled. It’s a process. I am aware that I’m not making ANY sense.) do you think Larry WAS real? I’ve always thought they broke up and got back together. I’m worried that if I stop being a Harry fan, it won’t make sense anymore. The past 11 years of my life have been so heavily focused on them both and it’s like I’m dropping a part of who I am as a person. Do you still look at old Larry content and feel something? Or did you completely change your mind as if it never happened? I know your opinion on “Larries” and it’s just weird to me to know that you were one, yet you still feel that way. I don’t ever want to feel hateful. But if you hate Harry do you still think Louis DID love him? When did it stop????
Ps- my Larrie friends are really grossing me out these days, so there’s that too I guess.
I strongly believe Larry was real. I’m not going to explain why, but suffice it to say that I know enough to convince me.
TL/DR: Larry was real. It explains most of what we see.
I think that the rainbow bears were a Sony marketing tactic, but Louis and Harry both participated in them (all four men did, but most of all Louis and Harry). However, this doesn’t contradict their relationship, which has been inseparably tangled with their professional lives, in all the good and bad ways.
The fact that they were so young when they met, that fans became obsessed with them, that Sony understood the marketing appeal of Larry, that Irving Azoff and Rob Stringer and Simon Cowell all wanted to use Larry for their own purposes (for marketing 1D and Syco, for marketing Harry) all made this relationship a psychological time bomb. Few people can withstand this type of manipulation and cruelty.
The sadness, for me, is that Louis— and to a certain extent Harry— tried to work it out. There’s a million song lyrics that show Louis tried to be optimistic and Harry felt despondent, but at some point, the story behind Walls and Fine Line took place. It’s not only song lyrics but their observable lives that drastically changed… anyone who bothers to look could see it.
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Ok the description for the first episode has got me unbelievably hyped so I need to share my thoughts on it. Potential spoilers below the cut.
“Determined to get a glowing review, whatever the cost” I want to see more of Alison just being unhinged and this is giving me hope
Lady Button and Julian helping Alison and Mike make sure the guests enjoy their stay? That sounds amazing. Not only are their suggestions probably going to be hilarious but they’re definitely characters I would love to see interact more
Mary never having had a holiday before? Baby! And Pat deciding to teach her about them? I love it. Also I’m incredibly excited to see those two interact.
Thomas and the Captain competing for the idolisation of the plague ghosts? The plague ghosts ATTENDING A POETRY RECITAL? This is literally everything I never knew I needed.
Not only that but a significant plotline revolving around a small detail from a previous episode? Personally as someone who’s obsessed with continuity in shows like Ghosts I am absolutely thrilled by this.
So yeah, suffice to say I am losing my fucking mind. I literally cannot wait for the 23rd.
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wait pls elaborate on ur insta hate bc i so agree 😭
eughhehdhffhh where do I even start
okay no I know. let’s start with how everyone and their fatherfucking walrus is on there it’s like a goddamn cult. you are forced to feel the fomo when you don’t have an account because EVERYTHING happens on there but if you haven’t made one yet trust me do NOT do it. run while you still can. because the fomo of not being on shitstagram is only a sliver of the actual fomo you feel once you join the cult. it’s a neverending social hellscape that concentrates the worst most painful parts of the social experience unless you’re one of those super chill people with three super tight friends you’ve had for years and an even tighter rule of not letting anyone else on there it gets stressful as shit. and if you are I mean that’s great I’m glad that works for you but 1) im not sure how long that can last because you’re all not going to stay in one place your whole life and 2) as someone who’s been the new kid and not fit in anywhere my whole life I personally have always felt weird about hard defined groupism. and god instagram thrives on groupism.
people are fucking obsessed with taking pictures and posting them on instagram. whatever you do. and it’s the easiest way to get sucked into social pressure because however firm you are about your boundaries constantly seeing everyone else having fun without you does get to you. it’s like there’s almost no point doing things together unless you post about it at this point and I fucking hate it. the serotonin you get when someone tags you in a story or adds you on their close friends or whatever feels good yeah but it’s a TRAP. it’s like an MLM. you’re always going to exclude someone and be excluded and it becomes impossible not to start comparing and it honestly ruins normal fun experiences. one thing I’ve realized in college is parties are literally just for the taking pictures. I didn’t think I could hate parties more than I already did but I swear to god it’s a fucking curse. instagram fuels jealousy and insecurity like nothing else especially when you’re in a not very stable stage of life. I didn’t mind instagram as much in certain stages of high school because all my friends were losers (affectionate) like me and no one really posted about things like hangouts and we basically used it just to shitpost and like a sort of digital journal. in an environment like a new college where everything is slippery and undeveloped though it’s a breeding pool of insecurity and comparison.
and there’s the whole tagging culture and people will have these super exclusive private accounts and okay that's only the social aspect of instagram. it's very mentally exhausting when you don't have a clearly defined social circle - which like i said is pretty much impossible as a young adult unless you stay in one place for a long time and/or have a clique or something. instagram is inherently about social perception and projection and in my experience that's rarely a good thing because it isn't usually authentic. and it's coloured by what other people think in the worst way. especially when you're developing as a person and aren't 100% sure of who you are. you lose track of when you stop doing it for yourself. this is not even a third of my issues with it we need to get a speed on lol
I'm not going to get started on the reels and kind of content they have on there and shit because that is just going to become another uncontrollable rant lol. suffice to say it's an echo chamber of the same algo driven shit that literally warps your sense of reality and what is normal and it's not an easy perform to curate. it's essentially just the worst parts of whatsapp and tiktok lol. it literally rots your brain and it sucks that people predominantly use it to stay connected because whatsapp is better for that imo. the content is exponentially better and more diverse on youtube it's just. not worth it in any sense tbh
#ugh i need to study#this got a little bit out of control i could rant for two more hours on this but i will not#because i need to fucking study help 😭#but yeah. tumblr and youtube ftw#fuck instagram#whatever you use it for there is a better platform for the same thing i can guarantee#it literally rots your brain#anon (affectionate)
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My work decided randomly at the end of last year that they were going to move the cap for PTO from 100 hours to 80.
I am a very dedicated (read stupidly obsessed with being dependable and diligent worker bee) Capricorn that exudes so much Capricorn energy you can prolly read it from orbit so suffice to it so say I have over 100 hours of banked PTO and was at risk of losing 20 some odd-hours. This is after I took two vacations last year so yeah I was kinda not happy with this new policy.
Soooooo I requested that time off before it expires on the 15th and ya girl now has 5 whole days back to back off starting tomorrow.
I'd originally planned to make a trip to Houston but sadly, I can't afford it thanks to getting the plague after my last mini vacation in December and my check on the 31st wasn't what I was expecting it to me.
Which, eh no big deal I'll just enjoy this time and do a staycation instead for the next 5 days.
I'm going to do some spring cleaning and rearranging of my apartment. My mother has been trying to fob some furniture off on me for years so I've decided to get rid of this 96 inch metal baker's rack that was housing all of my dvds and various fandom crap like lose figures and the like.
On Sunday, i went through all my DVD's BluRays etc, took them all out of the boxes and recycled them and started to put them into a binder. I had to buy a BIGGER one because 270 something wasn'r enough. All together with some DVD's being doubled up like bluray/dvs combos. I filled up a 400 space binder.
What. The. Fuck.
And that's not counting the things I didn't get rid of because it was specialty cases or things like my Red vs Blue and Star Wars stuff or ANY Of my many, many TV shows. I think I'm going to get a separate binder for those and then keep the cases but put them in a box to free up space so I can hopefully get shit down to one book shelf so I can get a small couch or love seat in my living room.
That ain't happening tomorrow though. Tomorrow is me time, I am going to play video games, read and write and then start cracking on that stuff on Monday.
The only thing that could make this vacation better was if I could get a massage or something stupidly self-indulgent like that.
So here's crossing my fingers and hoping I make some head-way in my new JasPlo fic. I'm debating breaking my own rules and posting things as I write rather than once I've finished just to see if the stress of keeping people waiting would be enough to motivate hibernating motivation or if the stress would just make me not want to write at all.
I mean is it really the end of the world if I have a WIP that hasn't been touched in six months? I dunno. I feel like my own innate sense of guilt would eat at me and I'd prolly crater like a house of cards the first time I get some shithead self-entitled comment asking why I haven't updated.
Which, LBR prolly won't happen cause how many people are going to be reading some super rarepair fic to begin with and I don't think I attract that sort of attention so no way that would even happen.
Most of the time I just feel like I'm putting stuff out into the void. Which, I'm not complaining about but I just really doubt that sort of scenario would happen.
But....you tell that to my guilt complex. I was definitely catholic in another life and have apparently carried said guilt into my next life.
Useless Edit: I ended up getting 90% of my tv series in the binder that held 270 something dvds. When did I buy all this shit that realistically I will never watch again because I own a chunk of them on digital now anyway.
I’m going to see if I can sell the random Smallvile seasons 4-10 and random Naruto seasons at Half Priced books since I’m well past my Naruto phase and what’s her faces sexual assault scandals kinda ruined the show for me forever. Same reason I got rid of all of my Kevin Spacey dvds when I was going through my dvds. But I forgot I bought both seasons do BBC’s Musketeers and I lowkey kinda want to rewatch it now. I also forgot I had seasons 1-4 of Scrubs which is one of my lowkey favorite series ever. I’m kinda excited by the things that got kinda lost in my collection. I found my Dark Angel series and kinda want to add that to the list as well
So series wise I’m pretty set. I don’t know if I’ll be watching any of my dvd or blu rays though. I plan on taking my binder of movies over to my moms house since she doesn’t know how to run Netflix ffs so the know she will get some use out of them. Or at least more than me.
I guess this semi counts as a declutter, yes? Pffft
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