My cat is such a hilariously cowardly little lion. He'll hear the new neighbors outside banging up the stairs or maybe their dog and he'll growl and run into the living room like he's ready to take on the scary noises and then inevitably loses his nerve and runs under the bed and hides.

It's kinda adorable but I also feel bad for him as well.

Gods help me, more than a decade later, my muscle memory for Wheeljack keeps overwriting every time I try and write wheelchair.

I straight up told myself I was NOT going to write Wheeljack and still fucking did it.

Like my body did it just to spite me. SMH.

Tonight's weird research subject lead me down a rabbit hole in urban planning and the concept of 'Genius loci' Pretty much the concept that a space has to have a 'spirit of a place' and the concept of anchoring in architecture and urban planning.

NGL I personally subscribe to the idea Reeve is a nerdy dual-major in Engineering AND Architecture/Urban Planning. Cause they claim he helped re-design the Mako Reactors or built them which isn't chronologically possible since Mako Rectors were created at least 40+ years ago and Reeve is only 35. So I think he redesigned them as an engineer.

Also....may I present Cait Sith who would need someone with a mastery in engineering under their belt even if you discount his whole woefully unexplored Inspire abilities. Is he descended from some other alien race that came to Gaia in the past and potentially were also wiped out by the Cetra but a few people survived to pass down their weird magical abilities? YES I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH, THANK YOU FOR ASKING. LMAO

But he also clear has a degree of some kind in architecture or urban planning since he designed parts of Midgar like the expressway and other projects.

And yanno head of the whole urban planning department.

Anyway I skimmed through an interesting research paper and it gave me some fun ideas to go on. I'm definitely gonna have him be the one who drew up the plans for the circle and the Meteorfall Monument in Advent Children. Since The Children Are Alright pretty much state Rude and Reno were put in charge of putting the Monument together as a way to give them something to do and keep their morale up as they're (well Reno at least) wants to do something good for the city and wants to win the hearts and minds of the people.

I gotta say, out of everything I've garnered from the book this softer, less fandom borderline sociopath version of Reno has been interesting and refreshing. I get WHY the fandom takes that reading if you only played the OG game.

But my foxy boy has more layers than a croissant.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Even after all this time and awareness, it feels like asexuality is still not treated like a proper sexuality. Recently had a girl tell me that she was at a place where she ‘felt so asexual’ because all the other girls were so beautiful and guys were ignoring her because of it. She didn’t know I was asexual and I didn’t take offence (I know she didn't meant it in a malicious way) but it does feel uncomfortable that people are using ‘asexual’ in lieu of ‘unattractive' or 'lacking sexual appeal.' It's really giving 90's/early 2000's slang of using 'gay' to mean 'lame.' Even shows like Brooklyn 99 which took immense pride in being progressive with their comedy, had an episode where one of the characters says "Oh, and I'm sorry if we implied you're both asexual nerds who can only be friends with service animals."

I have mentioned this before also, when I talked about how I feel like people are more comfortable erasing the identities of canonical aro/ace characters in media but act like it's unacceptable with other sexualities... but it does feel like asexuality (and aromanticism tbh) are still not considered 'real' sexualities. In the case of shipping fictional characters, I understand there is nuance to that issue and so don't want to get into it, but it does kinda add to my point.

Why is it that people treat asexuality like it's not a sexuality? Why is it that when I come out to people I'm met with insistence that I'm wrong about my sexuality, that I'm 'self diagnosing' (it's not a medical condition), that I'm probably 'just inexperienced' or haven't 'met the right person' or have a hormone issue? Why can't people just accept that it's a sexuality like any other??

I know and accept it is COMPLETELY warranted. 🤣🤣🤣

Razzafrazin....argh

So in true ME fashion, I think this is is gonna end up being five chapters now? I spent all of chapter 3 writing Reeve whump. I still need to write a conflict with Rufus which I could prolly squeeze into this chapter but it's already 4K words long. And I'm trying to police my word count here.

Somehow? I just know @lisianpeia is going to laugh her ass off when she sees this post and it will be 1000% legit.

Chapter 3 of Making Bets with the Devil is in the bag. Ended up being more like 5K in the end but I had a need for some Reeve and Tseng friendship dynamics. I ship the hell out of the two of —Look I have a LOT of Reeve ships.—the rest of the fandom is writing Cloud or Zack like he's the fandom bicycle and here I am with 5 different ships for Reeve rattling in my pockets like loose change.

But I digress, I also really love the idea of them having come up the ranks of Shinra around the same time and starting out with a baby friendship that changes over the years and inevitably becomes strained as Reeve is kinda strong-armed into playing the double agent role.

So this scene of them healing their friendship means a ridiculous amount to me. LOL

Razzafrazin....argh

So in true ME fashion, I think this is is gonna end up being five chapters now? I spent all of chapter 3 writing Reeve whump. I still need to write a conflict with Rufus which I could prolly squeeze into this chapter but it's already 4K words long. And I'm trying to police my word count here.

Somehow? I just know @lisianpeia is going to laugh her ass off when she sees this post and it will be 1000% legit.

Enemies to “I found you while hurt and had to take care of you and in your vulnerable state I saw a side of you I’ve never seen before” to lovers

Shit I've been googling on my lunch hour for this fic. What's the name of the medical dispenser pump they have on hospital beds that dose you with morphine: It's called a PCA BTW.

And then five minutes later: symptoms of fugu poisoning.

LAWD I hope I didn't just put myself on some NSA watchlist with this search history. The poor NSA agent who hacks into my computer is gonna be super disappointed when they realize I'm writing FF7 fanfic and nothing really interesting.

Okay, pray for me as I make an attempt at writing Cait Sith's Scottish accent. This is so intimidating for some dumbass reason.

Maybe if I wasn't a snobby hipster who demanded she play FF7 Rebirth/Remake in the original Japanese I wouldn't feel so unprepared for writing this character.

Pffft.

I love you toooooo. Even if you do (justifiably) call me out for having zero word-count control with my fics. 🤡

The “oh I could definitely write this fanfic in under 5000 words and it really wouldn’t take me that long” voice in your head is actually the devil speaking

@lisianpeia HDU PUT ME ON BLAST LIKE THIS. 😂😂😂

Definitely top ten anime betrayals territory.

The “oh I could definitely write this fanfic in under 5000 words and it really wouldn’t take me that long” voice in your head is actually the devil speaking

Ooof so I'm now to the week where I'm really starting to push the level of sleep debt I suspect. Starting time is now 8am but problem is my cat likes to wake me up at 6 which will be great for this new job. Unfortunately, I general spend like 45 minutes to and 1+ trying to get back to sleep. Which was fine when I was waking up at like 10.

Not so great no. Suffice it to say I didn't get to sleep after I woke up at 6 and I'm already dragging soooooo much ass. My current work schedule is 2pm to 11pm. So it's not like I can go to bed at like 8 or 9pm to maximize my sleep schedule either.

Though last night I did go to bed at like 8 so maybe this is why I feel as crummy as I do? I'm definitely going to need to take a nap before work I think.

It’s because of impulse purchases like this that my $45 grocery list ended up being $116. 😭

But fuck it is as delicious as it looks.

Reading amazing fanfiction, then forgetting to bookmark it

Reblog so everyone can hear what they need.

Making Bets With the Devil

I'm feeling spicy and I'm posting the first chapter despite having only written half the fic. This is my year of choosing chaos I suppose.