#but i think it is a little ooc at this point in the series | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gotham-daydreams · 9 months

Text

Not Here

[Yandere! Platonic! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]

[Warnings: Mentions of neglect, Mild Yandere Behavior, Batfam being hella stupid.]

(Not really proofread. The birds and bats seeing that y'know- maybe not paying attention to people and neglecting them isn't a good thing. Chaos ensues. More of a development thing. Might be a little ooc?)

Tags: @bigcandlesmolbrain

Chapter 2 of this post. Chapter 3 Pt. 1, Pt. 2. [Series Masterlist]

๑۩۞۩๑—————————————————————๑۩۞۩๑

Bruce liked to think he was a good father, for anything that was worth. Or at the very least, a decent one.

He wasn't perfect by any means, but he felt like he raised his children the best he could, and had made them into responsible and diligent adults. Dick was a great example of this, and even if Damian was still growing up, Bruce had hope that he'd turn out to be good as well. The hardships his current Robin had to face would pay off in the end, Bruce was almost too sure of that.

Those he decided to take under his wing had their flaws, yes, but even if he didn't say it out loud or point it out often. He did believe that they were good at what they do, or at least were on the right path to becoming good vigilantes. Bruce couldn't help but be proud and prideful of where his children and sidekicks were, and could only look forward to how they would continue to develop as time went on. Despite their feelings towards him, and his own faults, mistakes, paranoia, and so on. Along with how he felt about them, and their flaws — he couldn't help but respect the people those in his little mess of a family where becoming, and turning out to be.

Or maybe he was both overestimating and underestimating himself, and the true effects he had on those he decided to look after.

Since, for a few days now, he felt like something was... off.

The Manor seemed quieter these days, and even if he couldn't remember a time where it was particularly loud, the detail felt misplaced to him. Sure, he hasn't hosted a gala or party in a while, but that didn't feel like it was the reason why the silence suddenly bothered him.

Bruce tried to think of all possible reasons, a little surprised himself that this feeling of his was bothering him so much, but the more he thought about it the more confused he became. There didn't seem to be a particular reason for this... and yet, just as he was about to put this feeling aside, he heard it.

["I, um, I was just wondering..."]

["Oh, uhh, that's quite alright! Oh, one moment please... oh! Second chorus... T'was brilling, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wade..."]

It sounded like some sort of... play? Bruce wasn't too sure, but still decided to check it out regardless, wondering why something like that was playing in the first place.

So, allowing the sounds of the play to guide him, he continued on.

["Why- why you're a cat!"]

The voices grew louder as Bruce drew closer, interest peaked as he tried to recall and see of he knew this play. The lines sounding familiar, now that he was really listening to them.

["A Cheshire Cat. All mimsy were the borogoves..."]

Once Bruce rounded the corner he saw a... familiar face on the screen.

A student play was being filmed, and the play itself was Alice in Wonderland.

Whereas Bruce didn't recognize the actor for Alice, he did recognize the actor for the Cheshire Cat, but couldn't quite put his finger on it...

Was... was that...?

"Y/n?" He whispered your name, voice barely above a whisper.

No, it couldn't be. You didn't participate in any plays, and surely if you did he would've known about it. Even then, that didn't explain why he was seeing this now. The play itself had to have been a recording, since you looked so young...

How long ago did this take place?

["Oh, wait! Don't go, please!"]

["Very well. Third chorus..."]

["Oh no, no, no... thank you, but- but I just wanted to ask you which way I ought to go."]

["Well, that depends on where you want to get to."]

["Oh, it really doesn't matter... as long as I g-"]

["Then it really doesn't matter which way you go! Ah-hmm.... and the momeraths outgrabe..."]

Bruce was staring so intensely at the screen that he hardly noticed how the lines and voices faded into the background. His focus centered on you, disbelief gnawing at the back of his head.

He had never seen you smile like that before, not during all the times he's seen you anyway. Even if those moments themselves were small and short from what he could remember, the smile you wore during your performance felt... new in a way. Like something he hadn't seen before — not on your face anyway. Though that wasn't the only thing that made Bruce feel weird as he watched the play.

It wasn't anything to do with your acting skills. They were fine for the most part — and honestly considering the age you probably were during the time of the play, they might've been above average, or even a little higher than that. Not even the girl who played Alice, who also did relatively well, was the source of this odd feeling.

It wasn't the costumes or the set up, or even the lighting, and how he could faintly see the silhouette of other actors and such just behind the curtain, because of the camera angle. No, it hardly had anything to do with anything like that, but, how should he put this...

... How come he didn't know about this? How come he wasn't aware of this play before? Let alone that they had a recording of it, and that you were even a part of it... but Bruce still felt bothered by this whole realization because, well.

Why didn't you tell him about this?

"Master Bruce?"

The sudden voice snapped Bruce out of whatever trance he was stuck in, as he whipped his head around to face the source of it.

He huffed softly, "Oh, hey Alfred." Bruce greeted calmly, acting as if the butler hadn't caught him off guard.

Alred couldn't help but raise a brow at that.

Almost in a silent, embarrassed way, Bruce glanced off to the side only to notice that the recording was still playing, and so he decided to ask about it. Since, if someone knew anything about anyone in this Manor, it would be Alfred.

"Say... what's this playing on the TV?"

"It's a recording of one of Master Y/n's plays, Master Bruce." Alfred answered simply, almost as if it was common knowledge. "Apologies if it's too loud, I decided to play it while cleaning. I can change it or turn it down if you'd like."

"No, no it's fine... but since when has Y/n acted in plays? I don't remember hearing about this." Bruce stated, confusion growing as another emotion began to swell in his chest. One he was all too familiar with, but ignored for the moment.

"Since middle school, if I recall correctly, but it was only while they were younger. Having only been in three school plays in total, I believe." Alfred moved closer to Bruce as he looked at the screen, eyes softening for a moment as he watched you move along the stage. You had grown up so much since then, and the stage fright you used to have felt like nothing more but a faint memory now.

You wouldn't believe how incredibly proud of you he is.

"It's a shame they didn't do any more afterwards, since it would've been nice to have a few more recordings of their performances, but I suppose that's what happens when you find a new passion." He looked back at Bruce. That previous softness in his gaze nowhere to be found.

There was a certain way how his eyes looked at the billionaire, as if expecting something. As if expecting this.

Alfred had higher hopes, but you had left for a reason. Even if he knew what that reason was, it was only now did he see it more clearly. Especially as he witnessed Bruce's face shift into one of shock and surprise.

"They've always told you, Master Bruce, but you're schedule has just always been too full." Alfred handed Bruce a piece of paper, and Bruce took it wordlessly, looking it over.

It was a flyer promoting a play — the Alice in Wonderland play that was still going in the background — with the dates and times listed below, along with some of the cast members. Your name stuck out like a sour thumb compared to the rest.

Bruce did remember seeing this before, but one thing did still confuse him as he looked back at Alfred.

"I'm pretty sure you gave this to me at the time, not Y/n."

"That I did, sir, but that was only because Master Y/n was having some trouble with catching you attention, because they had wanted to give you the flyer themself. So I offered to give it to you for them." Alfred replied truthfully, cleaning up a little more while he was at it, and leaving Bruce to his thoughts for the moment.

He didn't remember you trying to catch his attention... but if what Alfred says is true then that makes sense, even if it made Bruce feel bad in a way. The feeling growing a little more when he realized something Alfred had said.

"And this happened all three times?"

"You sound surprised, Master Bruce."

Bruce ran a hand through his hair, eyes pinned on the flyer as he pressed his pursed into a thin line. Countless thoughts floated around in his head, all of them jumbled up and messy as he just didn't know what to make of this. Missing one was probably fine, and maybe two at a push, but all three? How could he have missed every single one?

Sure he was busy, but he didn't think it was this bad. Did he just forget? How did he not notice such a thing had slipped right past him?

All Bruce could do was sigh. There was nothing he could do about it now, and even if there was a way to make it up to you, he didn't know where to start, or if that would change anything to begin with. Besides, he didn't even know how long it's been since these performances had happened.

...

Wait a minute-

"Alfred, how long ago was this?"

Alfred just looked at Bruce, brows just barely creased before he took a breath of his own.

"A few years ago, sir."

What?

At the look of disbelief on Bruce's face, Alfred could only stand and straighten himself out as he calmly asked, "How old do you think Master Y/n is, sir?"

"Oh, well, they're..."

... Bruce couldn't even think of an answer.

Obviously you had to be in highschool since it had been years since you've performed in a play, with the Alice in Wonderland play being one of them, but how old were you exactly? What year were you in? Were you a sophomore? Junior? Surely you weren't a freshman, but even then — what high school did you even go to? Bruce didn't think you were home schooled, or else he'd definitely notice that... or would he?

Oh no.

What if you already graduated? What if you already had gone and done something that not even Alfred knew about? Did you have a job? Where would you even work? Were you already in college? What college would you even go to? Did you manage to get a scholarship? What would be you major? Where would you be studying? Would you even stay in Gotham? Were you even old enough to be out on your own? Could you even drink yet? Could you drive? Did you own a car? Or even a motor bike? When was your birthday? Did it already pass? What's the month? The day? The year?

How old are you?

"I... I think I'm going to go and just check up on them." Bruce couldn't answer, and while he had a vauge idea. That's all it was, an idea. So he moved the subject along, and made his way up the stairs, leaving Alfred behind. Just watching as the world's greatest detective left the room, all because he couldn't figure out the age of one of his own kids. One he had chosen to take in and watch over like all the rest, and yet left behind all the same in the process.

Alfred could only sigh to himself as he paused the recording of the play. Ejecting the disc and putting it in its respective case, and placing it in its usual spot.

This was the only way, he decided. This was the only way.

--------------

Bruce didn't feel much better by the time he reached your room. It took him mistakenly stumbling into two guest rooms before he finally reached it, and honestly he felt more regret over that alone.

Most of this time he hardly remembered that the room before him now was even occupied, let alone that you had claimed it as yours. What didn't help was that it was only now that he remembered introducing this space as your own, and yet he had forgotten that small detail so quickly.

Regardless, Bruce just pushed that all to the side as he knocked on the door, taking in a breath.

"Y/n?" He called out, only to get no respose. So he tried knocking again, but he still got nothing.

Sure, he was getting a little confused, but just pushed that to the side with everything else, as he stared down at the door knob.

... Should he?

He had to talk with you eventually, especially considering what he just figured out and how little he actually knew about you. He needed to talk with you. He couldn't just let this slide, not with what he knew now. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

So, be tried the knob, and was kind of surprised that it was unlocked. Though besides that little strange detail, he gently pushed the door open, and took a peak inside.

Oh. You weren't even here...

Bruce didn't know how to feel about that.

Regardless of that, however, he opened up the door a little wider, and stepped inside. What he saw only made him more confused, but also feel so much worse when he looked all over the room. How could this be...?

Various things were on your desk, shelves, and hung on the walls. Your room looked surprisingly clean, but honestly Bruce doesn't know what he was expecting. After all, he didn't even know your exact age or hardly anything about you, and even then — by the looks of things, he had missed out on so much more than he originally thought.

Trophies, awards, medals, and certificates were littered about your room. The very sight of them made the paper in Bruce's hands feel so much heavier, and yet he still held onto it as he further inspected the awards, and few pictures hung on your walls.

Every color was here, from bronze to silver to gold, and at some point it seemed you were able to get a consistent amount of silvers and gold. The awards themselves were from various events and activities that barely corresponded with each other. From fencing to swimming, and dance to pottery. From track and field to literacy, and gymnastics to cooking.

It was like you had tried to do so much of everything, and were trying to collect all of these awards from all of these different activities, rather than earn them because you deserved it for all your hard work and dedication to do that particular activity, but Bruce just couldn't understand why. Why go through all of the effort just to move on to the next thing? It... didn't make sense.

Right next to you black belt for martial arts, you had hung up the few medals you had gotten from track, and right below that were some awards you had for gymnastics. Beside your soccer trophies you had some kind of art award, and beside that was more awards and things you had received from playing and participating in other sports and activities. Bruce had no idea you were even into some of these things, but just from looking at your room, he could tell you weren't all that into or interested in some of the activities you did. Seeing as some activities and such had more awards when compared to others, but one thing in particular seemed to really catch your interest.

Music.

Not only did you have a whole wall and section of your room dedicated to it, but it felt more organized, and the placement of awards and such seemed more thought out in a way.

Countless awards littered the wall, and from the placement alone he knew you were proud of them. The pictures hung on the wall showed you shaking someone's hand as you either held up an award or album cover. You smiled, and Bruce could see how genuine it was as he felt like he could feel your happiness radiate off the photo itself. The people you were shaking hands with looked pretty happy themselves, and Bruce was a little surprised that he recognized them, but that made him feel more conflicted.

The people in those photos with you, were famous, and you had gotten those opportunities to meet them and shake their hand all by yourself.

All of these awards — they were only the finishing products of what you had spent all of your time doing. They were only small glimpses into the person you truly were, and as Bruce looked at the records you had hung on the wall, he could feel his own regret spilling out of his bleeding heart.

He wish he was there with you.

He wish that he had been there to see you even get half of these rewards that you undoubtedly deserved. He wish he got to hear the music you played, and what kind of songs you wrote. He wish he had been there to see you go on, and work your way up, with him being there as your support, and yet...

He had missed everything.

From the plays, to the matches you had, to the games you played in and competitions you participated in, and how could he forget your performances that even earned you such big, important awards. Awards that probably meant so much to you, because of how far it showed you had grown.

Bruce missed it all. Every little thing.

... He had to find you.

No if's or but's this time. No more excuses. He had to find you. Bruce needed to.

So he did a more thorough search of your room. Finally placing the flyer down on your desk as he looked around. He checked your closet, your bed, even under the picture frames, and moved some of the awards around, in order to better check and search for anything. Any hint that could point to where you had gone, and or where you might be. Any clue, any thing that could tell him about you.

He even made sure to take a mental note of the people in the photos, just in case he had to reach out to them and ask if they knew where you were by some off chance. Though that was only if Bruce was convinced that you weren't even in the Manor, and getting some extra information on you never hurt anyway. Seeing as he had a lot of catching up to do.

As he searched, he ran into various things. From equipment, art pieces — most of which were unfinished — and old notes, to other random items. Like an airsoft gun, some glass beakers, various ties, a pair of shades, a glasses frame, and a sewing kit next to a first-aid kit? Bruce didn't want to think about how the first-aid kit both looked used, and was empty.

Bruce even stumbled upon a fancy looking tuxedo he didn't remember buying you at all, but a small tag caught his eye and-

Oh, it was a gift from someone else, and with the note you left behind the tag — most likely with the intention of giving the tuxedo back — it was safe to assume that you and this person knew each other quite well...

Bruce just put the tux back. He would've gotten you a better one anyway if you had just asked, or if he even knew you needed one in the first place. Though regardless of that, he kept looking.

Eventually, he looked under your bed, and found a single box under there. Undisturbed... sitting innocently in the darkness.

Bruce didn't waste much time as he reached out and grabbed it, and placed it on your bed. There was a thin layer of dust on top of it, which Bruce found a little strange but kept in mind as he opened the box and looked inside. There, he saw a variety of notebooks and papers, and from the looks of things, the items in here had been collecting a bit of dust too...

When was the last time you touched these?

It seemed a little strange that these were tucked away from everything else, and clearly you didn't want other people going through it or even seeing them since you kept it so out of view. Were they diaries? Bruce would rather learn anything personal about you from yourself, he didn't want to go through your things like this, but considering the situation...

He sighed, and just picked up a random notebook. If this could help him find you, then so be it. He didn't want to do this but he couldn't leave you alone either. Not again.

Yet, he was so focused on looking through your things that he didn't even realize that someone had passed by, and noticed the odd room Bruce was in. A room that they themselves haven't seen before.

"Woah, what's this place? An old childhood room or something?" Dick asked as he invited himself into the room, mindlessly looking around, not really paying attention to anything in particular as he waltzed around.

"It's Y/n's room." Bruce stated bluntly, still looking over the dusty notebooks in the box. Some simply labeled 'Notes' or 'Practice', while one in particular was called 'Ideas/List & Progress' with little drawn sparkles around it. Another two weren't labeled with titles or words, and instead with small music notes doodled onto the cover in your favorite color. Though Bruce didn't know the color was your favorite.

Nevertheless, Bruce decided to look through one of the notebooks with music notes on it, completely missing how Dick had froze, and turned to look at him as if he was crazy.

"What? You've got to be kidding, right?" Bruce just gestured to one of the records on the wall, flipping through the notebook in his hand as he read through it quickly but carefully.

Dick, still not entirely convinced and honestly just really confused, looked at one of the records Bruce had gestured towards, and felt like he had just gotten ran over by a truck with how hard reality hit him. There your name was, signed and everything, with a well-known producer listened as well.

His eyes even darted to the other records, only to find the same thing, and for just one final check, he looked at one of the awards on the wall.

Your name was engraved on it.

"Holy-" He covered his mouth, more than shocked as he looked around the room again, hand falling from his face, "but that means-" Now Dick was paying more attention to the room, moving from one thing to another as he looked over everything now.

"How did they- there's no way they did all of this? And- what. They even did gymnastics?!" To say that Dick was in absolute disbelief and shock was an understatement. Yet he hardly had any time to recover or process anything as another person popped into the room, albeit only temporarily.

"I'm afraid it is quite possible, Master Dick." Alfred spoke up, catching the attention of the oldest sibling as he moved into the room, and set a stack of papers on your desk, right next to the flyer Bruce had set down.

Confused and curious, Dick looked at the stack once Alfred had pulled away from it, and picked up the first paper.

It was another flyer, but this time for some kind of solo event or concert you'd be doing. The date written down was a few days ago... a week or so having already passed since then, but how could this be?

Dick hesitated, but took another one as he looked it over. Again, it was for some kind of concert or performance, but the date and time was further away. Three weeks to a month having passed since, but how did they not notice? Didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell them?

"This doesn't make any sense... why didn't Y/n tell us about any of these things?" He asked, mostly to himself as he continued to look through the various flyers.

"Why don't you tell me, Master Dick?" Alfred quipped, looking at Dick in a knowing way before stepping out of the room, "Now, I'll be heading off, but I do trust that both of you make the right choice this time around." With that, he simply left. Leaving Dick confused but feeling worse at the same time as he looked back at the flyers, mind racing until he spotted something.

Carfully, Dick pulled out another flyer out of the pile as he placed the others to the side. He recognized this one, but where had he seen it before? Was it...

... Oh god.

Dick whipped out his phone and checked his messages. He had to scroll down a bit, but he quickly found your contact and tapped on it. He flipped through your messages, hundreds upon thousands of which he never responded to, and even if that alone made he feel bad. When he found what he was looking for, he felt even worse.

He found a message of you sending him a photo of the flyer, and said how you hoped you'd see him there. The message itself had been sent almost a year ago, and as he looked back at the flyer, he didn't know how to feel. Yet he kept looking, especially as he spotted another familiar poster.

Some of them he was able to connect back to another message you had sent, and the further back he went the more he responded... but it wasn't much, and he seemed to leave you on read more times than not. He had made an effort, but clearly it wasn't enough.

Dick couldn't imagine how that must've felt for you, and he almost didn't want to. Yet he still continued to search through the flyers, and came across one he had an odd memory of. He did remember seeing a text for it, but also remembered hearing about it somehow? He wasn't too sure, but just incase he did decide to look through his voicemail. He didn't know what he'd find, but he decided to just have a little look, even if he wasn't sure he'd even find anything.

So, he matched the date of the message and scrolled until he found it.

The voicemail innocently stared at him, and Dick couldn't help but hesitate before he tapped on it, and let it play. Heart already heavy as he stared down at the flyer. The kind of look someone gave when they already knew it was too late, and Dick didn't know what was worse. The fact that he basically missed out on your entire life at this point, or that he had nothing to say for it besides that he was sorry, and had just forgotten about these things one too many times.

["Hey, Dick! I, um, I hope everything is going well and that patrol hasn't been too bad." Your voice wavered as you spoke. You were clearly nervous but you tried to push on anyway, and cleared your throat before you tried again.]

["How are you, though? I heard that you had a rough night the other day- and I know I'm not really into all this crime-fighting stuff like everyone else but... I just hope you're okay, y'know?" You chuckled nervously before you cleared your throat again, "An-anyway, um, yeah. I just- hope you're okay." The sound of a paper being fiddled with could be heard, and you took in a small breath.]

["So... I have this performance I'll be doing next Saturday- it's more of a competition really, since other musicians and stuff will be there too. It's at 7 o'clock, and I know you guys mostly work at night and everything- but if you could drop by or even just quickly come around at 8:15 that would be great! Since, um, that's when I'll be performing..."]

Dick looked at awards you hung on the wall as the voicemall continued to play. Based on the date of the performance he was able to find the award. You had gotten second place.

["It's um, it's a piece I wrote that's a tribute to your family- the Flying Graysons, that is, since we're allowed to play songs we wrote if they were approved beforehand, and it was! So, um, I really hope you don't mind. Your family is cool! Not that Bruce and everyone else isn't or anything- um, I'm going to stop talking about that before I say something stupid. But! I couldn't help but feel inspired so I, y'know-" you cleared your throat again. Clearly nervous.]

["Sorry for my rambling- but, yeah. You can pass by if you want or have the time, and it's right by that one place Bruce had that whole charity announcement on Monday. You can't miss it, there will be lights and all this other stuff- not to mention that it'll probably be loud considering things, but uh, yeah."]

["So if you think you can make it or pass by, it's at 7! Next Saturday! And if you can't make it by then, I play at 8:15! So, yeah. Remember that! If- if you want to. Hope to see you there! And if I don't, that's okay. I just hope you enjoy the piece if you hear it. Have a good night! Or-! Or day! Whenever you listen this- um, bye!"]

What? You had wrote a song for him? For his parents? For them?

Dick's heart swelled. He didn't even get to hear it either, he wasn't able to. He didn't have time, and he forgot, but that didn't make things better, did it?

You had gone through all of that effort, and not only made a song for him but even played it during a competition and got second place. Yet he couldn't even put a few minutes to the side to listen to it. He didn't.

Now Dick definitely felt awful.

However, he did notice that there was another voicemail left by you just a few minutes after the last one. So, he decided to play that too before his guilt and regret could fully settle in, as if it'd make him feel better somehow.

["8:45! IT'S 8:45! THAT'S WHEN I PLAY! NOT- Not 8:15, sorry! I mixed up the times- that's when a friend of mine plays, not me! Sorry! Uh, but yeah. I play at 8:45- stop by if you can! I hope to see you then! Buh-bye!"]

Okay, well, Dick officially felt worse now. So much worse.

You had all this character and personality, and yet he was never able to fully see it — to hear it like he has now. Not like this, not while he was paying attention.

Your voice was so much different than what he remembered, and despite your nerves you really tried to tell him because you hoped he'd be there. You tried to tell him in hopes he'd actually show up, and he never did. Even as he listened to your other voice messages, he could hear how his own actions, or lack thereof, were affecting you.

The messages grew shorter, more to the point, and while you did still sound enthusiastic — it's like he could hear the hope dying in your voice. The hope that'd he show up. That any effort would be made, but that didn't happen, and it didn't help that Dick was listening to some of the voicemails he was going through right now, for the first time.

He could only imagine the pain he caused you, and Bruce was thinking the same thing.

Bruce was still looking through your notebooks as Dick was regretting everything he had done to you in the past.

The notebook Bruce was reading now was one where you had written down majority of your more recent song ideas, along with things you wanted to try and melodies you were trying to mix together. It was mostly full of lyrics and small notes to yourself about certain things you wanted to keep in mind, and though there was a lot of things crossed out, Bruce couldn't help but be... charmed in a strange way.

How you talked to yourself was adorable, and seeing your excitement for your own performances and such through each word you wrote, just made Bruce feel so happy for you. He could almost picture your smile and how giddy you felt when you were writing some of these things down, or how focused you were when trying to figure out how to continue the chorus of a song you were making — or if there should even be lyrics to begin with. Along with how you wanted the song itself to sound, and what emotions you wanted to capture in it.

With each page turned it's like he could see the entire process you went through when it came to your song composition. Like he was almost there with you in the moment, watching you do your thing, and honestly? Just by that alone he couldn't help but grow... softer.

Bruce loved seeing how your mind worked when it came to music, and your thought process behind each and every little thing. He just... he felt like through each line and little note he read and looked over, he was falling in love. The kind of love that he couldn't quite describe, besides just the love only a father could feel when they really see their child for who they are for the first time. The kind of love Bruce hadn't felt in a long while, nor this intensely.

You were so creative and passionate, so driven to achieve your dream and do what you loved. You were just so... you, and there was just something about the way you expressed that in the notebook that felt charming. The deeper Bruce got into the notebook, the harder it was to not love you, and each time he saw one of your little notes, he could feel himself smiling. You were so precious, how could he not see that before?

Though, besides all of that, he did notice a small pattern.

Every performance you had, you mentioned in the notebook and would express your feelings about it, and every time you did — you'd write something beneath it. Just a small paragraph about certain hopes you had. Hopes that made Bruce's heart squeeze tighter.

It was you hoping that they'd get to see you perform, that they'd show up, and suddenly Bruce was reminded of why he was doing this in the first place. So, he started to flip through your book, shaking out of whatever trance he was in.

With each performance that passed, the little paragraph got shorter, smaller, simpler. Like a quiet prayer that was dying down, as the believer slowly lost their hope and faith. It even came to a point where only one sentence was written for a while.

"I hope I see one of them."

Bruce's heart broke a little more each and every time he saw it, but the page that really got to him was when the sentence was smudged, small wrinkles and creases were on the page, and you couldn’t even finish writing the sentence as the end of the 'e' in 'them' dragged out.

What didn't help was when he flipped a few more pages, and found the last performance you had written about. It was a few months ago, but the date didn't immediately catch Bruce's eye. No, no, no, what caught his attention at first was the change of that single sentence.

"I hope the audience enjoys it."

His heart shattered at that, smile fading as he took in a breath. A moment passed, with Bruce just stating at the writing. Wishing for the impossible, and to change things that had already been done. It was too late, but he somehow refused to believe that now.

Finally, he noticed the date and paused.

That... couldn't be right. You used to write in this notebook all the time from what he could tell, why did you stop? Did something happen that day?

If months really have passed... then that would explain all the dust on the box and contents within it, but still, it didn't make sense. Weren't you still here in the Manor? Bruce honestly couldn't think of why'd you would stop writing unless you somehow couldn't reach the notebook, but you couldn’t have left, right? Surely, above everything else, he would've notice that, right?

...

Bruce finally looked at Dick, seeing the oldest just staring at old flyers from various events and such you had participated in throughout your life. A life they never got to see.

"When was Y/n's last performance?" He asked bluntly, getting straight to the point.

Dick glanced at Bruce for a moment before looking back down at your desk. He moved some of the papers around before he found the most recent one and looked over to his father with a raised brow.

"About a week ago, why?"

Bruce looked back down at the notebook in his hand, eyes scanning over the date again before he closed it. Looking back at Dick, he asked another question.

"Have you seen Y/n around?"

Dick grew quiet at that, and after a moment he just sighed and shook his head.

"No, I can't say I have." It was only then did he catch what Bruce may have been thinking, "You don't think they-"

"It's a possibility. We can't be too sure just yet," Bruce just wanted to hold onto his hope that you were still here, and even if the chance was small he was willing to take it. He didn't want to believe that they had pushed you so far away that you would not only consider leaving, but actually went ahead and did it. He wanted to be doubtful, but he couldn't rule out anything. Not yet.

"Just keep looking, I'll go ask the others." Bruce stated as he placed the notebook back in the box and headed out the room.

"Keep looking? For what?! Other events we missed? More ways we ignored them? Things they did without us?!"

To say Dick's guilt was eating away at him would be an understatement. It was practically devouring him at this point, and he could just barely take it.

Bruce paused at the doorframe, sighing as he looked back at Dick, "Any hints or clues to where they could be. Favorite spots they might frequent, places where their lessons were held, people they know, anything." He left him with that, causing Dick to just run a stressed hand through his hair as he took a breath.

Worry and regret heavily weighed down on him, but all he could do was carry it for now. He'd make it up to you somehow. He would, and he'd finally get to hear that song one way or another.

As Dick started his search, so did Bruce.

Bruce did a general search around the house, looking for anyone he came across while also trying to look for you. He thought that if he was lucky, he'd run into you. Even if the possibility was small, it could still happen — or he hoped so anyway.

Just this once, Bruce really hoped for the best.

Though, he did end up running into someone, even if it wasn't who he was looking for.

"Woah, someone looks serious. What's got your bat panties in a twist?" Jason asked, amused, "Actually, wait, don't tell me. I don't c-"

"Have you seen Y/n?" Bruce cut Jason off, getting straight to the point.

The sudden question confused Jason as he gave Bruce a weird look, some of his amusment still remaining but it began to die down a bit.

"No... why?"

Bruce took a breath, fingers twitching, "Do you know where they could be?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Jason's own confusion began to take over, his amusement continuing to die down, "Seriously, did something happen? Why are you suddenly looking for them?"

Bruce took a moment, just looking at Jason before he sighed.

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"... A few days ago..." Jason glanced off to the side.

"Jason."

"Okay, okay! Fine. I don't fucking know! A few weeks ago? Maybe?!" He answered, getting agitated already. "I'm barely here enough as it is, how am I supposed to know where they are!"

Again, Bruce took in another breath, but there was something about it that Jason didn't like. Maybe he inhaled too sharply or deeply — Jason wasn't sure, but all he knew was that he wasn't going to like what Bruce was about to say.

"Dick hasn't seen them either."

"And that's supposed to be a surprise, how? He lives all the way in Bludhaven, of course he isn't going to see Y/n. 'Cause they live here-"

"I haven't seen them."

"..." That was a little more surprising, but just a little more. It still couldn’t mean anything... right?

"With all the shit you do, I would be surprised if you even saw them on a semi-regular basis." Jason crossed his arms, still not convinced — not entirely anyway. Yet Bruce could only exhale softly, the action bothering Jason even more.

"It's just a possibility. I'm trying to find them. Think you can help out?" Bruce clarified before asking. Additional help would definitely be great, especially because it meant that they could find you faster. He could find you faster.

"What makes you think I'm gonna do that?"

"Did know that Y/n wrote a song that's a tributed to you?"

"... What."

Bruce sighed, "You don't have to do it because I asked you to, or even because I want to find them. You can do it for yourself, Jason. But I'll leave that decision to you." Then, he just walked off to continue his search for you, and the other occupants of the Manor. Leaving Jason by himself, alone...

"That bitch-" Jason cursed under his breath as he walked off, deciding that he'll help look. Though only so he could ask you if Bruce was bullshiting him or not, and not for any other reason...

... Wait, you wrote songs? Like, actually?

Jason just shook his head, already upset enough as he shoved the thought to the side. When he found you he could ask, and how hard could that be? The Manor was only so big, and besides, you were just one person. He could probably find you before Bruce if he just looked in the right places, but the only thing now was finding those places...

Okay, so maybe he saw the problem, but still. This couldn't be too hard. You were the only one in the whole family who wasn't a vigilante, and so it was only about a matter of time.

Nevertheless, Jason began looking around as well, trying to figure out where he should look as he mindlessly checked every other room he came across. Where would you even go anyway? He'd probably check your room first but he figured that Bruce had already checked there, and it wasn't like Jason knew where your room even was. Though he just chalked that up to how infrequent his incredibly short visits were.

Still, he didn't even know where to start, and would rather avoid searching the entire Manor if he could. He tried to scratch his brain for anything but he just... had no idea.

Well, okay, he had one idea, but that was only because of one night. Even then he's still not sure it was you who he saw on the-

["Master Y/n? Are you alright?"]

Jason's thought process was cut off by a sudden voice. He immediately recognized it as Alfred's, and a realization hit him. Right! He should look for Alfred first, he'd know where you are. Alfred practically knew everything about everyone in the Manor, so he'd lnow something for sure.

So, he followed the sound until he stood in the doorway of one of the lounges. The television was on and playing some kind of recording, but Jason paid no mind to it.

Confused, Jason called out, "Alfred?"

When he didn't receive a response, he huffed as his eyes drifted to the television. What was playing, anyway?

You — a smaller, younger version of you — stood in a door way, looking out in the hall before turning back to the camera. Big, innocent eyes looking up. Looking at Jason.

You couldn't have been no older than eight or nine.

[You gave a little nod with a small hum, "I'm okay, Alfred. Just... waiting, like you said."]

A small, soft huff could be heard from the other end of the camera, and the camera moved to be placed down a counter of some kind. Which revealed Alfred to be the one having been recording everything so far.

["Yes, well. How about we do a little something while we wait, hm?" Alfred asked, moving a stool closer to the counter — moving the camera again to be placed on the kitchen isle this time.]

Ingredients and tools used for baking could be seem on the counter. The stool Alfred had place was next to where he was standing, and a good distance away from the stove.

[You looked at Alfred curiously, "What are we going to do?"]

["Oh, nothing too much, Master Y/n. But... I do require a bit of assistance baking this cake, that is if you'd like to help, of course." Alfred patted the top of the stool as he spoke, "Though you can always just watch, if you'd like."]

[You perked up at what Alfred said, climbing up onto the stool enthusiastically with a smile. "I wanna help!" You exclaimed, looking over the ingredients before looking back at Alfred, "But... what cake are we making?"]

[Alfred hummed, pretending to think before be looked back down at you, "Well, what kind of cake would you like, Master Y/n? It is your birthday after all."]

["Really?" When Alfred nodded, you gasped excitedly before suggesting your favorite flavor at the time.]

["Well then, let's get started, shall we?"]

From there, the rest of the recording was of you and Alfred baking. With Alfred helping you when he had to, and laughing lightly when you would inevitably make a mess.

Laughs and jokes were exchanged, and it was probably the happiest Jason has ever seen you... which made him feel weird in a way. He didn't like it, not one bit, and yet he continued to watch the old, wholesome memory play out before him.

Jason watched as you got a bit of flour on your nose and how Alfred wiped it off. He watched as while Alfred was deciding on the shape of the cake, you gathered all the different colors and types of sprinkles you could find, and was looking at a particular color of food coloring. How you nearly fell trying to grab the food coloring, and how Alfred just narrowly managed to catch you. How after that, Alfred visibly recovered from the near heart attack he had gotten from watching you fall, and just watched you add the food coloring to the frosting after you had thanked him for catching you, and apologized for falling.

... It got Jason thinking, if only a little bit.

He didn't know much about you, not really anyway. Even if his visits were few and far inbetween, not to mention incredibly short, someone would think that he'd catch onto a few things about you, or just generally have more interactions with you, but he didn't. All he really knew was that you knew how to play the violin really well, but that was assuming that who he saw that night really was you. Even if he doesn't know who else it'd be.

Jason still remembered that one occurrence despite how long it's been since then... but that was for a different time. He had to focus now, but he still couldn't help but watch the little version of you trying to frost the cake without being too messy, but failing miserably.

It did get him thinking about how many small moments he had missed with you, and just... how little time he had actually spent around you.

Obviously, you weren't a little kid anymore. After all, the last time he remembered seeing you — you were already a teenager. Though was that really a good thing? Jason did remember having some kind of interaction with you in the past... but it wasn't much of anything, and even then he probably forgot half of those moments. What definitely didn't help is that you both didn't have each other's phone numbers, and the only form of communication you had was seeing each other in person.

.... Okay, maybe this whole 'finding you' thing was definitely a lot harder than Jason had originally thought.

["... Are they going to come, Alfred?" You asked, sitting in front of the cake you and Alfred had just made together, looking up at the camera that Alfred was holding once again.]

[Alfred didn't respond right away, but did eventually say, "I'm afraid not, Master Y/n, but if you'd like we could wait a little longer."]

[You shook your head, looking at the cake before looking back at the camera, "It's okay. We can blow out the candles now, but..." you hesitated, looking down at the table, "could you... stay with me? Please?" You looked away, embrassed for asking but didn't take back what you said.]

[Again, a soft huff came from the other end of the camera. "Of course, Master Y/n."]

After a short happy birthday song, the camera was placed down on the table as Alfred cut the cake. It was only after Alfred had given both you and himself a slice did the footage cut out.

Nothing could describe the face you made when Alfred said that no one was coming. Just like how Jason couldn't even begin to describe what it made him feel.

Even when a new recording started, he could hardly pay attention to it as all he saw was your face staring up at the camera. Expression not necessarily sad or upset, but it was easily the most heartbreaking thing Jason had ever seen. A kid shouldn't have a face like that. You shouldn't have a face like that.

Jason was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Cassandra trying to get his attention, nor did he feel her even pull on his sleeve. All he could think of was you, sitting at that table all by yourself. Alone.

He just turned the other way, practically stomping down the hall as he looked straight ahead, glaring.

He had to find you. Now.

Cass, on the other hand, was just confused. Watching as Jason stormed off before looking back at the recording that was playing on the television. What about it had made Jason sp upset? She didn't know, but she was a bit curious.

Bruce had already confronted her and asked her where you were, and of course she didn't know either. He did mention something about how Damian was trying to help a little, which was a surprise in itself, and how Jason might be trying to search for you too, and had asked her if she could do the same. She agreed, of course, just wanting to help out, but having run into Jason just now? That was... odd. Especially when he suddenly stormed off like that, but that wasn't her main focus right now. She still had to-

["Are you still trying to record this, Alfred?"]

Wait... was that your voice?

Cassandra turned back to the television, only to see the camera pointed towards the floor.

["Of course, Master Y/n. Just give me one moment, I almost have the camera set up."]

Oh, Alfred was there too? What was going on?

[Light laughter was heard before you spoke again, "Here, let me help you."]

The camera began to move, and as it paned up, there you were. A soft smile on your face, shining colored hues looking at the camera as you made a few more adjustments before stepping away.

Now, you definitely looked like a teenager or young adult. Voice more matured and settled, almost calm in a way.

["There. That should be good, what do you think?" You asked Alfred, tilting your head to the side a bit, most likely looking at the butler.]

["I have to agree, Master Y/n. Everything should be working properly." Alfred then came into frame, moving towards the counter as you moved around the kitchen isle to follow him. "Now, what is it that you wanted to make this year?"]

["Oh! Right, well..." and you told him, already grabbing a few necessarily ingredients from around the kitchen.]

It wasn't long before the two of you started baking again, but this time around you were clearly more experienced than your younger self — not that Cass was aware of that anyway. You both did your own parts, working exceedingly well together as the conversation between the two of you was nothing but natural.

Cass never saw you talk so naturally, or even knew you could bake, but there were a lot of things she didn't know about you.

She could see that in the footage, you were really relaxed and happy. Almost at ease as you skillfully moved about, as if knowing the necessary steps to make what you were hoping to bake by heart, and how you navigated the kitchen made it look as if you almost knew it as well as Alfred did. It was almost refreshing to see you just be so... in tune with your surroundings, and Cass almost wished she had been there to see you bake for herself. Though she could settle watching footage of you bake for now.

Even if she didn't know why you were even baking in the first place until Alfred mentioned something about a gift for your Birthday, and how that led you to talking about some of the things your friends had given you.

This was... your birthday? Just you and Alfred?

That didn't feel right... but then again, she didn't even know when your birthday was to begin with — and now that she thinks about, had you ever celebrated Christmas with everyone? As a whole family?

... She wasn't sure.

["Are you certain that you don't want to wait, Master Y/n? You never know, someone could show up this time." Alfred asked, looking at you with slight concern.]

[You only smiled, "I'm sure. Besides, even if any of them did come, we both know that it'd be on accident." You laughed lightly to yourself, looking down at the pastry both you and Alfred had made together. "I doubt they even know when my birthday is, but that's okay." You looked back at Alfred, your smile still happy but... there was something off with it.]

["I've told you before, haven't I? You're all the company I need in this house. I'm happy just spending my birthdays like this with you." You took a piece of the pastry and ripped it off before holding it in the air, as if doing a toast, and held it toward Alfred. "So, happy birthday to me?"]

[Alfred sighed softly, but could only smile as he took his own piece of the pastry, copying your actions as he held the piece toward you, "Happy birthday, Master Y/n."]

The footage cut right after, and suddenly Cass found herself in a similar position that Jason had been in just a few moments ago. Just staring at the screen, unsure what to do with this new information, the weight on her chest growing.

Had you really spent every birthday like that? If so... then why didn't you tell anyone? Or had you tried, only for nothing to come of it?

The thought alone hurt, strangely enough, and all Cass wanted to do was... well. She wasn't sure.

She wanted to do so many things, and yet she didn't know if anything would work. Or if anything she could do would fix... well, anything at all.

She wanted to try your baking and... and celebrate a birthday with you. Or maybe she just felt obligated to do so after having seen the recording, but a big part of her did mean it. Especially because she didn't want you to feel alone or anything ever again, not after seeing the extent it went to. Though perhaps there was some irony in that thought that Cass failed to realize.

Regardless, Cass found herself walking off too. Completely missing the figure who turned off the television, and unplugged the camera from it that held all of the footage both her and Jason were shown.

Cass was practically speed walking as she checked the library — remembering have seen glimpses of you in there before — while Jason checked the music room, only for both to turn up equally empty. Yet they kept looking. Everyone did.

Dick tried calling and texting you while trying to see if there was anywhere you could be outside of the Manor. Tim ended up helping as he ran into Dick, and was basically locating and tracking down all the places you've been to with the help of your notebooks and awards in your room. All the while listening to some very earlier pieces you've wrote and played on the mp3 player he found in your box.

Bruce was still looking all over the Manor for you, each minute that passed making him more paranoid and worried. What started as a small possibility was growing into a certainty and he did not enjoy that at all. Damian had decided to search for Alfred, since it seemed like the smartest choice if they wanted to end this quickly. Yet when he did find Alfred and asked him where you were, it turned out that Alfred didn't know where you were either.

While yes, he did know some of the teachers and coaches you've had in the past, he didn't know where you were at this exact moment. How could that be? It was simple, really.

Alfred hadn't seen you in a while either, and once that little piece of information spread around the family... what followed after could only be described as chaos.

The Manor was practically flipped upside down as Bruce, Damian, Jason, and Cass searched for you. Not a single room went unchecked, and when they still came out empty handed, their own worries began to fuel each others.

Dick was the first one to suit up and head out, already calling Barbara as night fell on Gotham, with Tim beginning to suit up — yet Jason had beat him to the punch and was out the second the Manor was cleared. Cass was next to follow, with Bruce and Damian not following too far behind. Tim only left after informing Stephanie — and after downloading some of your songs — and telling Alfred to keep a look out just in case you came back home.

In just a few hours, what started as an unusually uneventful and calm, quiet day for the family, quickly turned into one of the most panicked induced searches and painful night of their lives.

All because of you.

---------

You were tuning your guitar calmly, tapping your foot to the melody playing in your head as you hummed. The silence surrounding you was peaceful for a chance, and didn't feel suffocating or as unnerving as the silence in the Manor did.

Honestly, it took a bit of getting used to but after a few weeks you had grown to love it. Waking up everyday and having someone there to not only greet you, but actually acknowledge you also took a bit of getting used to, but you managed much more easily with that.

Sure, there were other things as well, but you eased into it and had come to accept these small things as just parts of your new life. Yet, you still found yourself appreciating and noticing the smallest things, and almost crying over them too.

It had been a few months since you had left the Manor, and honestly you couldn't be happier.

You now shared an apartment with one of your closets friends, and your career helped you cover your half of the rent, as well as other expenses. You had truly found comfort with this new lifestyle, and even if you'd like to move out of Gotham one day — you could settle for this for now.

This, you believed, was what peace truly felt like.

Even when your phone started to go off like crazy — you just took one look at who it was and rolled your eyes, putting your phone on silent as you placed it face down on the table in front of you. You didn't know what Dick and Tim needed so badly, but you were sure they'd be able to figure it out themselves. After all, they were the sons of the world's greatest detective, right? They could handle themselves.

So you just leaned back into your couch, sighing softly as you mindlessly strummed away at your guitar, smiling a little to yourself when the tune was just right. Creating a melody came all too naturally to you, and all you did was carry it on — humming softly as countless ideas filled your head. A small song beginning to form, even if unintentionally.

A song that went on — with the suffering of Gotham going on in the background. The city being cleared out and searched by the vigilantes that dared to protect it, all of it being done just to look for one person. You.

The shouts and screams served as the base, with the shattering of glass and bones being the lower kick, perhaps. The heart beat serving as the tempo, and so on.

So, just as you had years ago, you played on. Calm and happy in your own little world, unaware of the horrors to come — and destruction being made in your name.

–––––

Well, that's long, isn't it?

Might be making a another post that kind of details what some of the others did before everything went to hell? We'll see. Maybe.

Sorry again for any mistakes, especially towards the halfway point/end there.

#platonic yandere batfam #yandere batman #yandere batfam #yandere dc #yandere x gn reader #gn reader #platonic yandere #honestly this is probably the longest post i've ever made #not series

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pomefioredove · 27 days

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who they fall for, heartslabyul

I did a longer one of these for rook and now I can't get the idea out of my head, so... series! (part 1/8)

summary: soulmates type of post: blurbs characters: deuce, ace, cater, trey, riddle additional info: romantic, not proofread so maybe ooc, gender neutral partner, really just thoughts

𝐃𝐞𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐝𝐞

trope: dorks in love

Deuce ends up with someone who, most of all, challenges him. they put him at ease, and there's a definite shared gentleness between the two, but it's his partner's subtle rebellious streak that wins him over (though they definitely know when to tone it down). puppy love that turns into something deeper. they accept him as he is, flaws and all, and they support him in his growth towards becoming a better person. fiercely loyal. they and Deuce would constantly be fighting to be the "chivalrous" one. taking turns telling the waiter the other asked for no pickles, running to hold doors open, etc. it's cute, but a little competitive, just enough to motivate him.

𝐀𝐜𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐚

trope: tsundere

his soulmate? someone who can take a joke. no, no, I'm kidding, but they would have a wicked sense of humor, one that compliments his perfectly. and an adorable laugh, of course, snorts and all. someone who can feed his ego without overdoing it, keeping him wrapped around their little finger (trust me, he loves it). a little mutual teasing never hurt anyone, right? at the same time, though, they'd be completely devoted, loyal, and loving, just like he is. he brags about being a ladies man, though, really, he's almost completely closed off when it comes to matters of the heart. it takes a lot of patience (and a lot of putting up with his shenanigans) before those walls start coming down to reveal the romantic hidden behind them.

𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝

trope: slowburn

similar to friends to lovers, but of a different flavor. Cater is subtly flirty with almost everyone, it's the people-pleasing, but a soulmate? yeah, he'll believe it when he sees it! of course, he's completely blind to what he's needed all along being right in front of him. someone who listens to him, who cares deeply about his feelings, who can read his body language and know just what he's thinking. someone he feels comfortable around without feeling the need to hide himself. a bestie, if you will. he's absolutely the first to catch feelings and drives himself mad about it, not daring to make a move out of a fear of vulnerability (or being a weirdo, take your pick) and it devolves into months, years worth of cringe pining. "looking at the pictures they'd taken together and giggling" pining.

𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

trope: weirdos in love

thought it was gonna be domestic bliss? nope. I'm saving that one. Trey isn't quite ready to settle down yet, having spent his whole life taking care of others (to the point where he hasn't had a moment to figure out who he is...) and so he's put a hold on the whole "romance" thing. of course, the last thing he was expecting after graduation was to bump into someone that would throw that plan out the window. truly, his soulmate is someone he feels he can be himself with, who gives him the ability to relax and be the one who gets pampered, for once... it's a very equal and loving relationship with a like-minded and responsible person. one who goes along with all his bits, too.

𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

trope: opposites attract

oof the ouch. no, Riddle is not ready for the ups and downs of a relationship, and he knows that. he's always chalked up his disinterest in romance to his studies, and his utter disinterest in taking anyone home to meet his mother's highly specific future-in-law criteria. though, secretly, Riddle has held onto his own little list of "perfect" traits, almost going as far to fantasize about an imaginary partner to keep him company. the person he does end up falling for makes that list null and void. they're daring, adventurous, creative, curious, open to all sorts of nonsensical ideas that challenge all of Riddle's. they represent a sort of freedom that he's never had, and before he can even hate them, he finds himself falling. but someone like that could never tie themselves down to someone like him... right?

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #queued #deuce spade x reader #ace trappola x reader #cater diamond x reader #trey clover x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader

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maeby-cursed · 7 months

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KISS ME, TRY TO FIX IT…

𓂃 COULD YOU JUST TRY TO LISTEN ?

a/n: starting a new series of songfics ! this one is very obviously inspired by sad, beautiful, tragic, so you can see where this might be going. enjoy the results of my brainrot ♡ (also, i’ve never written for gojo before, please have mercy)

✧ synopsis: you’ve been waiting for satoru gojo for ten years, but there’s no trace of the man you fell in love with when you were sixteen years old. it’s time to let go, but he might not want to.

✧ pairings: satoru gojo x fem!reader

✧ wc: 2k

✧ rating: angst. so much of it, angst to drown in. might get suggestive at some points.

✧ cw: mentions of drinking, of the great jjk tragedy of 2006 and its aftermath, implied cheating, gojo may be ooc, toxic relationship ??

An ice-cold wind blows through the window as you wait.

It’s not even December yet but it’s already snowing.

Soft snowflakes the size of stars, far away in their firmament, enter your living room. When they land on the sofa, they dissolve, leaving in their wake thousands of specks of water that look disturbingly like tears.

It doesn't matter. You don't think he's going to notice anyway.

It's been ten long years of waiting. Ten long years of fighting, of fixing what's broken and denying that it's ever been broken.

It's over. Let winter freeze everything in its path.

When Satoru walks in through the door, you hesitate for a moment. A moment of madness when you see his hair, as white as the snowfall that has invaded your home. Just a moment when you see him in his burgundy turtleneck sweater, his tight-fitting coat. One single moment when you recognize the cold in his pink cheeks.

But it's all over when you meet his crystalline eyes. The fault is theirs.

"Is the window broken again?" he asks, dropping his keys on the entryway’s table.

The window has been broken since September.

You nod and he grunts, running a hand over his face.

"I'll call someone tomorrow, although you could have said something," he says. This is your fault. Of course.

You keep your eyes fixed on the snow. From the living room you can see the sidewalk across the street, covered in a blanket of white that sparkles under the street lamps. It's so painfully beautiful it makes you nostalgic.

You and Satoru moved into this house three years ago, when he got his teaching position, and you can't quite get over the fact that it's time to say goodbye.

You've spent three years of solstices here. You've seen the sidewalks covered with dead leaves, with thousands of little flowers that broke the pavement in their wake. But it’s never snowed.

It’s not fair, not one bit.

Satoru says no more. He goes to your room and undresses; he replaces his street clothes with a black outfit that seems very appropriate for the occasion. Since you’ve known him, he always takes off his glasses when he crosses the hall of your building, but for once, you wish he'd put them back on.

When he returns, his hair is dripping over his forehead. You hadn't even noticed that he was taking a shower.

But he hasn't noticed that your bedside table is empty, either; that your slippers are missing, that there's a seeping coldness in the hearth of your house, and it's not coming from the window.

"What's for dinner?" he asks, plopping down on the couch with his cell phone in his hand.

You get up.

9:26 p.m., November 8. This is where it ends.

"I don't know. I'm going out to dinner," you say.

He doesn’t even bother to look up.

"Hmm, where are you going? Are you bringing something back or should I order myself a pizza?"

It's painful to watch as nothing seems to touch him. He’s infinite — always infinite.

"I'm going to a work friend's house."

"The one with the lovely curly hair and those pretty hazel eyes?"

Christ.

"No. I'm moving in with Rhea. Dark-eyed, blonde, leggy."

"Hmm, how nice."

A moment passes where he just keeps staring at the screen, and you despair.

"Satoru."

"What's up, baby?"

"I'm moving."

At last – at last – he looks up. In his eyes you see nothing; two blue marbles that have sworn you two to an unjust fate.

"You're moving out? Why?"

Where to begin? Because you have been loving a man destined to save everything and everyone for a decade, because you have been trying to fill a void that is not your size for eight years, because the windows are broken and the bed is cold and Satoru arrives several nights smelling of anisette and the perfume of another, because you don't want to live looking at the Strongest, the possessor of the Six Eyes. Because you thought that in some hidden corner Satoru Gojo was still there, and he isn’t.

"Because it's killing me to live like this.” You settle for that as your explanation and try to keep your stare unwavering.

"Like this how?" he questions, suddenly irritated. "In a luxurious house?" He gestures around him with the cell phone in his hand. "Comfortably, with your dream job? Knowing you'll never have to worry about money?"

"No, Satoru. Like this, without you loving me."

That chills him to the bone.

"Of course I love you."

"Do you? Do you want me for anything other than to warm your bed and your cock? Do you want me here, as your partner? Do you need me for anything at all?"

You don’t gesticulate, you barely move from your spot in the middle of the room. Everything in this fucking place is white and uncannily clean; the sofas, the coffee table, the walls, even the snow; but you and Satoru. He’s in all black, you’re in all red. It’s almost dreamlike, and you struggle to stay grounded.

The only thing you could remove from this house that would grab his attention would be you.

"Yesterday you weren't complaining about any of this, what the fuck is the matter with you today?"

And you can't stand it anymore. The winter current lifts your hair, soaks the back of your neck and disguises your tears.

"THE MATTER IS THAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR TEN YEARS. WAITING FOR YOU. WAITING FOR THE MAN I MET AT SIXTEEN TO COME BACK, SLEEPING WITH A MAN OF ABSENT GAZE WHO STAGGERS INTO MY BED WHEN HE'S TIRED OF BEING IN EVERYONE ELSE'S. I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR DOG, SATORU. I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME HOME AND FEEL OBLIGATED TO GIVE ME A WALK, A PETTING."

The words come spilling out of you without remedy, every wound bursting open through the stitches. He just looks at you.

"You think I don't love you?"

It hurts to hear him say it, it fucking hurts. You were prepared for the yelling and the coldness, even for a quick vulnerable stare. But never for his trembling voice and soft frown.

You inhale deeply.

"I don't think your love is of any use to me any longer."

Satoru stands up at that.

He's tall, tall and beautiful like Michelangelo's David. All your life, you've been feeling like you had no right to touch him. His infinity assured you that was the case.

He takes a step in your direction and whispers:

"Then what should I do now?"

Your eyes, fixed on the ground, rise to meet his. There's something in the void and you're not sure if it's just your reflection.

"What?" you mutter.

"How do I fix it? What do you need that I can't give you? Do you want me to quit work, for us to leave, for me to come home and kiss your temple, to cook for you, to listen to you, to cherish you in bed?” A heartbeat. “I will."

There’s something about the desperation in his tone, you aren’t sure of what to say next.

Satoru knows how to lie, but you don't know how to tell the difference.

"I don't want anything, Satoru. I'm tired," you whisper back, eyes full of water. "I want it to end. I want you to let it end."

He shakes his head, frowning, and through the mist of your tears you recognize that he is crying too.

"There has to be something. Anything. Something I can do, I can do it all."

It's partly true. He's Satoru Gojo; all-powerful, all-knowing. Eternal and young and beautiful and tragic as a poem.

You are just another person. You cried when Suguru left, when Haibara died, when Kento gave up the Jujutsu world and when Ieri locked herself in her office. You clung to Satoru, who resembled an empty seashell more than a person.

You remember those nights back in 2007. You remember blindfolding him so he wouldn't activate infinity by accident, by reflex, out of overstimulation. You remember cutting his hair when he couldn’t and looking for him in his old antics. You remember taking care of Megumi – always reluctant – and Tsumiki – who you felt was too mature for her age. You remember the burden of being eighteen and having lost a world.

And, above all else, you remember Satoru under the rain. Under the pressure of the world you had lost, the one that he was trying to put back together. There was a month where he seemed catatonic; no smiles, drinking anisette as if it were his one source of life. A thirty-day period followed by the rebirth of a person who looked like the one that stood before, but who seemed cold and alien to you.

"Don't you love me, my darling?" he seeks for you, reaching out a hand to brush against your cheek.

Of course you love him. You love him even like this, like you have loved each and every one of his versions.

"I adore you, Satoru. But I can't stay; you can't fix it."

"Of course I can," he reaches out to you, holding your face between his fingers, "Of course I can."

His lips connect with yours — one last attempt, you don't know by whom.

Snow fills the room and it's cold, but you drink from his mouth, from his everlasting warmth; everything in him lasts forever.

Between kisses, you show him everything you have been for years. Ten years of kisses, of hands looking for hands and flesh searching for flesh.

He moves backwards, keeping you between his hands and guiding you towards the hallway and from the hallway to your shared bed.

This is where it ends.

"Satoru..." you whisper.

"I'm here. I'm here, beautiful, my favorite girl. Talk to me."

A sob escapes you as he utters those words. My favorite girl. That’s what he used to call you. Talk to me, he used to plead, that year at sixteen, when everything was about to start.

Isn't it beautiful that it ends the exact same way?

"Satoru, I'm leaving," you press a farewell kiss to his jaw.

"No, you're not leaving," he murmurs, smiling against your mouth, searching for your lips.

You back away and look at him one more time. And you smile, because there's nothing left.

"I'm already gone. Just let go of me, please."

"But..." he starts, his smile hesitant, "But I'm going to fix it."

You take one of his hands between yours and kiss it as it presses against your cheek, before lowering it to your lap.

"Satoru..." You pronounce each syllable of his name carefully and he stifles a cry. "I'm not going to go any further. I've already made the move and Rhea's expecting me at her house in an hour. I love you, I’ll love you until I run out of kisses, but it does me no good to love you. It is of no use to me, this love. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you one last time. Wasn’t it my turn to be the selfish one for once?"

He watches you, and his mouth shuts close. You've never seen Satoru lose.

No, that's not true. There was a time, one time, where you saw him lose everything.

His eyes fill up with you one second and empty the next.

This is his second time.

He lifts his chin with an arrogance that no longer means anything and lets go of your hands.

"Go then, if you want. I'm not going to do anything to stop you,” he drags the words with feign disinterest. “I can't do anything."

That's the last gift he can give you. An honesty unbecoming of him, a truth that will never belong to Satoru Gojo ever again.

From god to human in three kisses and a goodbye.

"Thank you," you say to him. Then you get up, heading for the living room, where your coat and your escape door await you.

He stays in the bedroom – with himself as he always is – after you leave.

And he hides you where he always hides the things he breaks, in the back of his eyes, where no one can reach to see anything.

(reblogs are appreciated !!)

#🎐 𓂃 mae’s typing !#jjk imagines #jjk angst #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #satoru x reader #satoru x you #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru angst #gojo angst #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you

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jenchan-writingmultis · 4 days

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Twisted Wonderland Boys x Fem Reader in their respective Fairytales (Series)

(Idia's Part)

Previous part (Kalim)

─────❅─────

A/n: Out of every housewarden, I felt like sobbing writing Idia's cause of how fluffy he is, I love him so much. Content Warning: This Fic will be tagged as 16+ since it is a bit suggestive along with mentions of Gorey themes (Azul), it’s very vague. I haven’t finished Book 6 and Book 7 because I’m stuck in Tartarus, but they’re not done here yet. Potential Inaccuracy in Indian Tradition, Indian and Greek clothing, if ever you see inaccuracy about it, please let me know, I only did a bit of research about it. The reason for potential OOC was cause I mixed both the classic Villains with the personalities of our beloved boys. You have a child with Kalim here!

─────❅─────

First Batch would be: Riddle, Leona, Azul

Second Batch would be: Kalim, Idia, Malleus

List of Villains interconnecting with each character:

Kalim = The sultan Idia = Hades ─────❅───── Idia: The underworld has always been Idia’s little comfort zone, although at first, he didn’t want to rule it, due to how depressing it gets sometimes, but along with his brother Ortho who takes care of “outside” activities, aka meetings with those overbearing gods and goddesses who think they’re better than anyone, he didn’t mind the work as long as it’s with him. So far, his duties were all just about guiding souls into whatever the fuck they want or are allowed to go, honestly if they all became lost souls, he wouldn’t give a flying damn.

One day, however, an odd discrepancy appeared in the calculations of souls being accepted—an unregistered soul had entered the narrative. Concerned, he strolled toward the portal of Tartarus to investigate. When he peered inside, a sudden flash of blinding light erupted, disorienting him. Before he could react, a heavy force slammed into his body, causing him to stumble.

“What the!” he grunted, feeling a heavy body on top of him, he rubbed his head, opening his eyes, adjusting to the sudden light-to-darkness transition.

You stirred, finding your hands pinning him down. His eyes widened in shock as he pushed you off, scrambling backward so quickly that he hit his back on the wall with a loud slam.

“What In the world?!” he screeched, his hair glowing brightly meaning he was incredibly nervous, while you seemed to be lost, standing up, you pat away the dust off your outfit, taking notice of Idia who still was pressed on the wall.

“Idia?” you went closer to him, he looked like an angry kitten, glaring at you at first but the moment you got closer he stiffens up, pushing his hands to protect himself from you.

“Stay back! You anomaly!” he shouted that it echoed around the empty room, you were taken aback, “Idia, it’s me.” you said, eyebrows knitting in frustration.

“H-how do you know my name?” he asked, looking at you confusedly, were you sent by his other brother who he doesn’t even think of one, Zeus? You look kind of angelic so there’s a suspicion.

“Idia, you’re my boyfriend” Wow point blank you decided to kill him with those words, boyfriend his ass, what boyfriend, all he knows is that he prefers to be single than have a lover, also he wants to add that you are way out of his league, there’s no way you like him that way, and this is the first time you met him, was there a camera around here? The edited laughter? Where is it? He’s waiting for that to come.

Realizing that he was overthinking again, you snapped your fingers catching his attention; stating your name you tried to see if you got any reaction, but nothing. He really didn’t remember you.

You were going to be saddened by this, if it weren’t for the fact that the tips of his hairs had a slight pink on it meaning was still a chance for you to get your boyfriend back.

Okay, you two might be misunderstanding things, while Idia was observant, he can’t think straight when he’s in front of someone, his black and blue robe being a perfect cover for himself, he even had a hoodie knitted for him to cover his hair with.

You noticed that he was taller than before, raising your eyebrow, you grabbed his arm, which made him freeze up, looking at you like you just harassed him, his sweat drops. “What?”

“Since when did you get taller?” you asked, he slides your hand off of his arm, rubbing it a bit, “I don’t know?” he answered confusedly, before waving his hand dismissively, “No more questions, I’m bringing you back to Zeus” he grumbled, his stupid brother playing pranks on him again.

“What? Zeus?” you walked faster to catch up on him when he started speedwalking away, “Y’know, God of Olympus?” he said, weirded out why you didn’t know Zeus, everyone knows him.

“Wait, Zeus as in the God from long ago?” you asked further, which made Idia stop his tracks, turning to look at you, his figure looming, he looked like a grim reaper when he stands with you before, but now it’s more evident.

“What do you mean long ago?” he asked as bewildered as you are, why are you acting this way anyways? Anomaly that popped out of nowhere and almost giving him a concussion and right now you’re giving him a migraine, what’s next huh? brain aneurysm?

“Are you not my Idia?” you frowned, looking at him closer, he exhibited a different style, he was taller, slightly shorter hair, bluish skin instead of pale.

“Your” Idia? What does that mean?

The more you open your mouth the more questions pop out, sighing he decided to cover your mouth with his hand. “Please… just shut up for a minute”

Okay, first theory! You’re not from around here, I mean you just got spat out like trash by the Tartarus and suddenly proclaiming that he’s your boyfriend, he feels bad for you, your standard is in hell if you’re dating him, you’re pretty too, a disrespect to your face really.

Second theory, which he’s leaning on more, you’re a spy sent by his brother Zeus; to make him fall for you and you break his heart and upload it to magicam or something.

If you think he’s self-deprecating too much, please, he’s just being realistic with the situation.

“First off, I am not yours” he clarified, lifting his hands as if he’s surrendering to you. “I never met you in my whole life, you’re cute but no”

Rejected by your own boyfriend, you wanted to pinch his cheeks for it, you were going to be hurt by this, but the thing is, the way he acts reminded you of the first stages of your relationship with him, he wasn’t the best with it.

“Okay,” you said, being short with him, for some reason that made him feel bad, scratching the back of his neck, he wanted to hold your cheek or hand to comfort you, an odd feeling.

“Sorry- I mean if you want to, I can act like your boyfriend or something” he murmured, his voice gradually decreasing to the point you barely heard the last words.

“It’s fine Idia, no need” not wanting to force him into that kind of thing, however, you noticed that his little fire hair started to fizzle out, panicking a bit you touched his hand, holding it, “wait I mean, okay, sure we can act”

Phew, that got his fire back up, lucky you. “Okay…” he said awkwardly coughing as he uses his tech to call for Ortho. “Ortho, can you come here?”

Ortho was impressively fast with going back to the underworld, looking the same except his clothes or rather his cyborg parts looked Greek like, it explains why you were wearing a tunic.

“Scan her” Idia said, using his eyes to signal ortho who to scan, in which Ortho grins brightly. “Okay!”

You stayed still as Ortho used his eyes to scan you, it was something that came natural for you, especially since your Ortho does that often.

“So?” Idia asked, leaning on the wall, Ortho shook his head, looking conflicted. “Nope, she doesn’t have any data around Ancient Greece, or anywhere”

“Huh” he didn’t seem surprised. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, patting Ortho’s head. “Yeah! I did another scan but there’s no indication of her presence anywhere.

So, you really were just transported by Tartarus to Ancient Greece, connecting the dots, that means Idia here is…

Noticing you staring at him in deep thought He smiles a bit, you looked funny thinking like that, pouty and all. “Since you’re really not from here, my name is Idia, God of the Underworld, and this is Ortho, my brother.” Ortho waves at you enthusiastically and he was genuinely surprised that his brother introduced him instead of himself.

“I know” you hummed, crossing your arms. “I told you already, we’re dating- “

Idia tried to cover your mouth before you spout that out but failed as Ortho’s eyes widens. “You’re dating my brother in the other world?! You mean there’s another version of us in your world?”

Oh dear, you’re in it now.

Ortho basically asked you plenty of questions, already happy that his brother pulled someone like you, you were gorgeous!

Idia was a bit happy you got along with his brother, he sometimes feels bad that he keeps Ortho in such a depressing place instead of being a normal kid outside and playing.

Also he can’t help but get flustered whenever you randomly get physically affectionate with him, he’s been trying to find a way to get you back in your world, but it’s proving to be difficult since Tartarus maybe his domain, but it’s a system that’s entirely independent from him, think of it as the pity system in his gacha games, even if you hit enough 80 pulls, it doesn’t guarantee the limited character you want.

But, as long as he can, Idia tries to make sure every time he hangs out with you is worthwhile, it’s the first time he made effort to spend time with someone, when he’s off work, he finds himself going to the guest room, asking if you wanted to come eat with him and Ortho, or sometimes, you end up in his room, playing a two-player game with him.

Ever since you came into his life, he started going out of his room more, back then he usually just… does his work and go to his room. That’s all Now he’s trying to go outside more, especially when Ortho told him that to get you back faster was by “thinking outside the box” which just meant that he should go touch some grass and let the gears in his brain think of a solution.

He didn’t really know when he fell for you, but he noticed it when you were outside with him, in the largest field that had nothing but nature around. The outfit that Ortho lend you fits your palette so perfectly, it almost made him want to take a picture.

You were admiring the view while glancing around, picking up flowers.

Confused with what you were doing he walked to you. “Hey what-“ getting cut off as you shove a bouquet of flowers on his chest, a ribbon clumsily wrapped around the stems of the flowers.

“For you” you said, smiling, making his heart skip a bit, he accepted the gift as Ortho called out for you, giving him a glance before you grab his collar, pulling him down to kiss his cheek before walking away.

That got his hair to burn bright pink, shaking from the adrenaline, he coughed awkwardly, hopefully, Ortho didn’t see what you did.

Well, he’s having a hard time finding a way to send you back home, so… it might take a while.

─────❅───── A/n: ACCCCCCK IDIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ILYSM ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #fluff #twst idia #idia shroud #ortho shroud #idia x reader #idia twst #disney twst #twst ortho #twisted wonderland idia #idia x mc #ortho

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fics-and-quotes-andthelike · 1 month

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The Makeover and The Makeup

Title: The Makeover and The Makeup

Pairing: Angel Dust x reader (Platonic), Alastor x reader (mentioned)

Word Count: ~1,369

In which Angel Dust and the reader get into a fight in the middle of a makeover session.

A/N: Part 3 of the Never and Always series. It’s super short, but I still hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of Val, mentions of de*th, Angel being suggestive, ooc Angel maybe

When you had first struck a deal with the Vees, they had treated you with something that had almost resembled kindness. They had showered you in compliments and praise, feeding you false promises and empty words of endearment.

It lasted for two days.

After that, you were fair game. Fresh meat. A new toy for all three Vees to poke and prod at while you did their bidding.

But then came your knight in blood red armor, holding his cane in one hand and smiling broadly as he greeted you with a kiss to your knuckle for the first time.

You had stuck to Alastor’s side ever since.

But although you were more than grateful for his rescue, you couldn’t help but continue to feel a little alone. Alastor had saved you, yes, and he kept you by his side, of course, but he wasn’t exactly one to share feelings or stories.

He did, however, listen to yours.

After you had shared a particularly brutal story having to do with a certain moth demon, Alastor had come to a quick decision and swept you away to the Hazbin Hotel.

When you arrived, you had found a group of souls that were just as broken as you were.

Especially Angel Dust.

While your brief time with the Vees was nothing compared to Angel’s ongoing experience with Valentino, he seemed to appreciate that you had some semblance of understanding about what it meant to be Valentino’s target.

Meanwhile, you were just happy to find that you weren’t the only soul foolish enough to fall for the moth demon’s charms.

Ever since the two of you had found out about your shared past, Angel had practically taken you under his wing. He introduced you to Cherri Bomb, invited you when he was high strung and needed to go out, and confided in you when he had a rough day at work.

You had done the same, telling your stories about the Vees and your life Before and sharing your feelings.

The last point, though, you were beginning to regret.

“So he killed a guy for you, huh?” Angel asked as he circled you, admiring his handiwork.

“That’s not what I said,” you protested as you looked at your reflection in Angel’s full-length mirror.

Angel stopped walking and raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he looked down at you. “You really think Smiles left the guy alive? C’mon, dollface, you ain’t that naive, are ya?”

You flushed and looked down.

“That’s what I thought,” Angel said, smugness coating his words as he began walking once again.

You looked back up and glared at him through the mirror. “You know, when I said you could give me a makeover, I didn’t mean I was going to be your personal dress-up doll. This is the fifth outfit.”

Angel stopped beside you, draping his arm over your shoulders and leaning into you as he admired his work in the mirror. “You knew what you were gettin’ into, sweet cheeks. Don’t pretend you don’t love it.”

You did love it. It was fun to let your guard down for a few hours and allow Angel Dust to release his creative energy. Not that you would ever say so to his face, of course.

“Besides,” Angel continued as he wandered away from you and towards his closet, rifling through the many options. “Your first official date with Mista Creepy was a hit, right? We’ve gotta change up your style a bit if you wanna get some,” he said with a wink in your direction.

Your eyes widened. “That is not what I’m trying to do,” you hissed. “Alastor is my friend.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, sure.”

“He is,” you insisted. “He’s been nothing but sweet to me, and I’m not going to ruin the friendship that we’ve built.”

You tried not to notice Angel’s grimace in the mirror. It was a lot harder to pretend, though, when he turned around with an uncertain expression on his face, holding a dress to his chest and avoiding eye contact.

“Look,” he said hesitantly. “I know he seems…”

“Kind.”

“Right,” Angel said, scratching the back of his head. “But I’ve been talkin’ to Husk. About you and Smiles. He says you should be careful.”

You couldn’t fight back the burst of anger that rose in your chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Angel’s eyes widened as he held up his two free hands in surrender. “I ain’t sayin’ you gotta stop talkin’ to the guy. I’m just saying-”

“You don’t know him,” you interjected, jabbing a finger into his chest. “You don’t know anything about him. I know he’s an Overlord, but he’s sweet and he’s kind, and he’s never done anything to hurt me. He would never hurt anyone.”

You realized your mistake as soon as the words left your lips. It was foolish of you to forget. Alastor was your friend, of course, but he was also an Overlord. One of the most powerful Overlords that Hell had ever seen.

There was a fire in Angel’s eyes as he leaned towards you. “He already has. He’s done it to all those other souls he owns, and he’s done it to Husk. I know you love ‘im, but he ain’t a good guy.”

You spluttered and stepped back, trying to ignore the blush that coated your cheeks. “I didn’t say I loved him.”

Angel’s eyes narrowed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “You didn’t have to. I see how you look at him. It’s the same way I looked at Val before-” he stopped, looking down and away from you, shielding his gaze.

You felt your anger seep away as quickly as it had appeared. How could you have been so blind? Of course this situation felt familiar to Angel. You were a fool for not noticing any sooner. A fool, and a horrible friend.

Angel looked up, finally meeting your eyes. “I just don’t want you ta get hurt.”

You understood exactly what he was saying, of course. Alastor owned Husk’s soul, and despite never taking advantage of that fact when you were around, you had heard some of the stories from Angel. It only made sense that your friend was trying to warn you now. Someone he loved was already at the mercy of the Radio Demon. Of course he would do anything he could to protect you from the same fate.

You nodded, looking down. “I know,” you said quietly.

You stepped forward then, wrapping your arms around the spider demon and squeezing tightly. “Thank you. For looking after me.”

For a moment, you received no response. Then, you heard the rustle of fabric as Angel dropped the dress that he was holding onto the floor, wrapping four of his arms around you and pulling you close. “That’s my job, toots,” he said quietly.

You held each other, a silent promise passing in between you as you gripped each other with all of the strength you could muster.

Finally, you stepped back, reaching out and grabbing two of Angel’s hands. You pressed them to your lips, one at a time, before looking up with a soft smile.

“I hope I didn’t ruin the makeover,” you said with a gleam in your eye.

Angel grinned, reaching up with one of his free hands to ruffle your hair. “Not at all, sweet cheeks. Let’s get this show on the road.”

~~~

When Husk found the two of you later that day after searching for his usual drinking partner, he didn’t find two demons smiling together as they dressed up and pretended for a few hours that the rest of Hell didn’t exist.

Instead, he found two wayward souls on the ground, half dressed and half asleep, leaning against each other as they spoke in a way that only the closest of friends could.

They looked over at him, smiling and beckoning him closer, and drawing him onto the floor with them, where they spoke until sleep finally wrapped its kind arms around them.

They were still in the hotel, of course, but for the first time in a long time, these three souls finally felt like they were home.

A/N 2: Another part with more Alastor x reader is coming soon, it’ll be a continuation of A Dance in Death!! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

Taglist: @severusminerva @anh4125 @midorichoco @rapturenyx @maybememoriesx @martinys-world @miyu-kii @axellovesalastor @mo-0-o

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runningfrom2am · 6 months

Text

leveling the playing field XIII

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 4.2k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there. oh, and manipulation (both of them lowkey)

masterlists // nav // requests

a/n: nothing much to say other than thank you guys and i hope you like it :)

series masterlist

You think you might die from this heat. The ice bag that Coryo brought you only lasted so long, especially when you shared it with the covey, which cut its window of efficacy in half. Both of you trailed behind everyone on the way to the lake, besides for Maude Ivory who found a very comfortable spot on Coryo's back. You should have thought to buy her some new shoes before the several-hour hike, but you didn't think that would be of consequence.

"How is Sejanus?" You ask, making conversation as you wipe the sweat from your brow. You'd like to gauge if Coryo knew anything more about your mutual friend's habit of hanging around with the wrong people.

"He's... yeah. He's fine." Coryo sighs, adjusting his hold on Maude Ivory's legs around his waist as he steps over a tree root.

"You don't sound so sure." You laugh, tilting your head up at him.

The bruise on your cheek wasn't red anymore, now healing into a yellowish hue that Coryo could hardly tear his eyes away from. He wishes you were still in the habit of wearing makeup every day, then he wouldn't have to stare down the result of his failure every time he looked at you. He shakes his head. "Well, I'll tell you about it later."

You just nod, looking down at the ground in front of you to make sure you don't trip. Now it was your turn to wish that the two of you could talk about what's going on between you. Whatever Sejanus is up to with Billy Taupe reminded you that even though you're far away from the chains of the Capitol, you still weren't entirely free. Even if now it was just free of the prying ears of a little blonde girl who loved to talk. "If you could change one thing about your routine right now, what would it be?" You ask, looking up at him again and squinting at the sun as it breaks through the trees above you.

Coryo draws his head back for a moment, confusion washing over his features at the seemingly random question. "Uh, everything. Next question."

"Ah-ah," You shake your head, hair falling into your face which you quickly pull back again. "Only one thing."

"Okay, fine." He chuckles, shaking his head. "Um... not sure, honestly. Maybe I'd have more success trapping those damn Mockingjays." He grumbles, looking up into the treeline.

You laugh, rubbing over the mostly healed scratches on your arms. "Nothing yet, huh?" Up until the point that you forgave him, you had gone out every night for almost a week, having learned a better system for opening the traps that didn't result in them cutting up your arms with their claws. Not so much as a thank you from the birds that apparently could speak, until you had started to thank yourself every time you reached around the side of the traps to open the metal, just so they would echo it back to you. You knew it was crazy, but it had become a fun semblance of a normal routine.

"Not one. Hardly any Jabberjays either, we think someone was setting them free in the night, they were easier to trap at first." He replies, smiling at you despite his frustrations about it. He couldn't wait until they could catch enough for Dr. Kay so he could start shooting them instead. "Rebels, most likely."

"That's annoying." You laugh, trying to hide the nervousness in your tone. "Why would they care about some birds?" It was a stupid question to pose, to poke holes in his only theory when it didn't already point back to you.

"They're hardly more than animals themselves." He grumbles, shrugging. "No, actually, I'd probably spend more time with you, if I could." He changes his answer and effectively, the topic as well. At this, Maude Ivory lifts her head from his shoulder.

"Are you guys in love?" She asks, turning her head so she can look at you now.

"Oh, no." Your cheeks burn as you laugh, shaking your head. "It's complicated big kid business, Maude Ivory."

"That's enough." Coryo chuckles nervously, spinning her on his hip and carefully putting her down. "Go bother the others."

The girl giggles, walking backward in front of you with her shoes in her hand. "It's why, I love you, you're as pure as the driven-" She starts to sing a song you were writing with Lucy Gray, knowingly taunting you, but you're quick to cut her off.

"Hey! Don't!" You laugh quickly, pretending to push her forward so she'll run along. "They've got some thin walls in that house..." You chuckle quietly, avoiding his gaze as you watch her run up ahead.

After a few moments of silence, Coryo speaks again. "What about you? What would you change?"

"Can I be uncreative and say the same thing as you?" You ask, cheeks still red.

"Sure." He nods slightly, a small smile on his face.

"Great, because those birds are starting to get on my nerves." You joke, bumping your shoulder against his arm.

He smiles, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I hate you too."

"Oh, hush. You know I love you." You freeze up as soon as you say it, suddenly it holds a lot more weight to it than your typical friendly banter.

At that, Coryo drapes his arm over your shoulder with a satisfied smile, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

"Can you tell me about Sejanus, now?" You ask, head placed on Coryo's lap as you lay on the dock. You had been out of the water for a little while, now, utilizing the sun to dry your wet hair and skin.

He looks back up to the cabin, seeing Lucy Gray and the rest of the covey scattered and picking plants or lying in the grass. "Uh, he just keeps sneaking off, and I found a good bit of money in his locker, but he told me he was broke so... I don't know what he's up to."

You sigh. "I've seen him hanging around Billy Taupe a lot. They're a sketchy crowd in the nicest of terms."

"Well, he is district. It doesn't surprise me that he'd associate with them." Coryo explains, distracted in a weak attempt at braiding a small section of your hair.

"He's gonna get himself killed." You mutter, eyes closed to block out the sun. You couldn't tell Coriolanus about how you ran into Sejanus a couple of weeks ago, knowing he would ask questions about why you were out at that time too. It's easier to lie to Sejanus than to him.

"It's not our problem if we stay out of it." Coryo tries to ease your mind.

"We can't just stand by and watch, though. It'll eat my conscience alive if something were to happen to him."

Coriolanus looks down at you, watching your calm expression form into something resembling worry. He chews on the inside of his cheek and nods to himself. He would have to do something, if Sejanus ended up getting in some kind of trouble, the guilt of knowing without acting will kill you. "Okay. I'll figure something out. I'll get him to keep his distance." He promises.

Days had passed since that interaction, and Coriolanus is crippled by the fear that he made a horrible mistake. He got the full story from Sejanus, and it was worse than he pictured.

You liked Sejanus, at least you acted like it when he was around. Coriolanus could always see that the district-born boy meant something to you, even if it was unclear based on the way you spoke about him when he wasn't present. Him running off into the woods with a bunch of derelect rebels was far from a viable option, Coriolanus wouldn't have it. He couldn't risk your reaction knowing that he told you he would do something to intervene.

He needed to talk to you. You were the only one he could trust to tell about the Capitol-bound recording he sent off of Sejanus' confession, or the news that his family had been kicked out of their apartment back home. He wasn't even sure he wanted to tell you. Coryo had been fighting this internal battle for what felt like ages, so maybe he could just include the basics, leave out his actions, and let you lift some of the tensions from his shoulders by telling him it would be okay. That it would all be over soon, and that you're proud of him for passing his exam. He could get the two of you out of this dump by the end of next week, and he couldn't get you away fast enough.

Unfortunately for him, when he finally arrived at the Hob on his night off you were already on stage with the Covey. You were laughing, dancing and spinning, occasionally joining Maude Ivory on her hip drum while Lucy Gray sang. The crowd loved you, and you loved the attention. He'd be lying to himself if he tried to say he didn't love watching you so happy, but the timing was inconvenient at best.

Coryo found his usual spot against the wall, sitting down next to Sejanus. He wasn't about to let him out of his sight, not anymore.

"Give it up for our friends in the band!" He smiles at Maude Ivory's excessive spirit as she holds her arms out to encourage applause before her eyes lock on him. Her face lights up more, somehow, and he greets it with a nod.

She turns to you while music is slowly tuning out, and gives a slight tug on the bottom of your new dress. It had been scuffed up in your fight with Ash, but you had cleaned it up nicely- hardly a stitch was out of place.

You look down at the girl, who just gives a slight nod in the direction of the wall Coryo was sat against. "He's here, you gotta sing it now!" Maude Ivory says, loud enough so you could hear but not enough to be picked up by the mic behind her.

You look very briefly over at Coryo, shaking your head at her as your cheeks turn rosy. "He's never gonna hear it." You say, leaning down to her level. "Who even says its about him, huh?"

"You can't trick me, Sage." She giggles, pointing at your nose.

"C'mon, lets do it!" Lucy Gray chimes in encouragingly as you stand back up. "I'll play for you. All you gotta do is sing."

You roll your eyes playfully, shaking your head again. "No, I-"

"Now, welcome back for her second performance with us, Sage! She's gonna take us over for a minute here. I promise, y'all are in for a real treat." You're interrupted by Maude Ivory making the announcement for you. Internally you cuss, plastering on a nervous smile.

"It's beautiful, you gotta relax." Lucy Gray says in your ear, already adjusting her hold on her guitar. "If I can sing a breakup song to the whole country, you can sing a love song just to the folks in this room. C'mon." She smiles, nodding for you to take the mic as Maude Ivory bows you in.

You'd played this song a bunch back at the Covey's home after Lucy Gray caught you humming the abstract tune of a lullaby your mother used to sing to get you to sleep when you were little. You didn't remember a single word, but the melody was enough for her to recreate and embellish it into one of their songs, to which she insisted you help her write the words for.

Coryo is leaning forward, elbows rested on his knees as he watches you. From what he knew, you weren't much of a singer. The redness evenly spreading across your cheeks and nose in time with the intro music was evidence enough of that.

"Sing for us, sweetheart!" Someone from the crowd calls out, which is matched with whistles that force Coryo to sit up to try and get a look at who the hell is yelling at you. His jaw is seized until he hears your voice echoing through the large room, drawing his gaze back to you on the stage.

"I've taken some hits, so no wonder I'm wary. It's why I need you, you're as pure as the driven snow..." You look over his way only briefly while you sing the first round of the chorus, trying not to let your voice catch from the nervousness still pumping through every inch of your body.

He knows it before you're finished, but the last word, the one you didn't let Maude Ivory get to on the way to the lake, makes his heart flip in his chest. The eye contact he made with you as you said his name was so heavy with everything you've ever wanted to say to one another but never had, and he completely swells with pride knowing that it was about him.

"Cold and clean, swirling over my skin..." The inclination, again, to shout to everyone that you were his girl was immense and overtaking. Just like the first time, but now he knew it for sure. He was positive."You cloak me, You soak right in, down to my heart."

By the time you render the final verse, his whole world has changed."It's why I trust you, you're as pure as the driven snow..."

I'm gonna marry her.

He's up as soon as the song is over, heading for the back of the stage as you take your bow. Your smile is wiped when you look up and he's no longer there, and neither is Sejanus. Worry pools in your insides as you scan the crowd, giving a rushed smile to Lucy Gray and Maude Ivory as you jump down. You hurry to the back of the stage, brow furrowed as you search for Coryo.

By some miracle, he's there. If you're not mistaken, he's got tears in his eyes as he strides up to you quickly, the stage lights leaking past the stage to illuminate him just enough. His pace and his intense expression only worry you more. "Is everything-" You ask frantically, only for your question to be disrupted by his actions.

Coryo takes a deep breath, and then, as soon as you're within reach, he cups your face in his hands and leans in. The world around you seems to fade as his lips meet yours in a passionate, long-awaited kiss.

Time stands still, and in that moment, everything falls into place. The worries that plagued him when he walked in completely dissolved as he felt your hair in between his fingers. When he finally pulls away, a small smile graces his face.

You're both breathing heavily as you stare at each other, and it's then that you realize he wasn't crying due to any kind of upset. He was crying because of you. With a smile so real that you could feel the sun on your back, even late at night in this dim building hundreds of miles from the comfort of your collective home.

"Coryo..." You say, smile fading as you regain perceptions of your real life.

"I know, and I have so much to tell you..." He grins, leaning down to kiss you again.

It was your turn to interrupt, pressing a hand to his chest to stop him in his tracks. Tracks you so desired to follow, wherever they may take you, but right now you had bigger concerns. "No, no it's... where is Sejanus?"

He pauses, and it's like the spell is broken as he straightens his posture, looking around as if Sejanus should be right there. "Uh... shit." He had completely forgotten about his friend as he fell under the trance of your voice, of the song you were singing to him.

You're quickly out from under his arms, walking back around the side of the stage to go look for your friend.

"Coryo-" You stop, and he's right on your heels as you turn back to him, pointing toward the back wall. "Go check the bar. Keep an eye out for Billy Taupe. Obviously. He's probably with him." You instruct and he nods to you quickly before beginning to push his way through all the drunk people in the crowd.

You try and scan the sea of faces, but you don't see Sejanus anywhere. The music the Covey is playing is loud, drowning out any hopes you had of being able to shout for the boy. You could follow Coryo in the search, but that would no doubt just waste time. You groan, pushing your hair back out of your face in frustration. You shouldn't have stopped Coryo from kissing you again, if Sejanus wants to be reckless you should just let him. The two of you already saved his life once, was that not enough for him?

You glance down the deserted hallway to your right, and then your feet are carrying you toward the back room in an instant. You turn the corner and push the sliding door open when you hear shouting coming from the other side. "What the fuck is going on?" You ask, eyes flitting between Sejanus, and the two other boys in the room, alongside a girl who who you vaguely recognize.

"Y/N?" Sejanus asks, turning back to you quickly.

"Y/N..." The girl mutters to herself, rolling the name around in her mind and on her tongue. You can see it in the way she's looking at you. You ignore it, eyes locked on your friend now.

"I told you to not get involved in things you shouldn't, didn't I? Didn't Coryo?" You scold him, gesturing to the door.

"It's not- I didn't know they were going to buy weapons! It's not what I wanted, they told me the money was only for supplies, that no one would get hurt!"

"These are supplies." Billy Taupe's friend, Spruce, replies.

"Why would you trust them!" You spit, pointing vaguely at the other people in the room.

"Listen, Princess-" Billy Taupe starts, a bitter taste to his tone just as the door slides open again. Coryo's frame is blocking your view of the boy in a second, tucking you carefully behind his back.

"Talk to me. Not her." He hisses, and you grab his arm. The feeling of his skin under your palms is comforting, warm, and tense in your grip. "What are you doing, guns, Sejanus?" He turns his attention to your classmate.

"Coriolanus, I didn't know this is what they would do, they lied to me-" Sejanus starts his pleads for help again on a separate set of ears.

Unsurprisingly, his response is almost identical to yours. "You thought they would be honest? What are you doing? There are peacekeepers right outside!"

"That's what I said." You mumble in exasperated agreement "Why did you even give them money at all?" You ask, hoping to get some answers.

"Sejanus wants to run off with these dimwits into the woods up north," Coryo explains to you.

"What?" You ask, shocked, looking past him at the boy you've known for years. The thought of never seeing him again pulls at your heartstrings in a way you're unfamiliar with. "You can't. Absolutely not."

"You're not my Ma, Y/N!" Sejanus spits.

"Wait, I know you." The girl cuts in, pointing at you. "You're that missing girl. From the Capitol. Y/N Y/L/N. My dad got a call about you!"

You freeze up at the accusation, biting your tongue as you look up at Coryo. A memory flashes in your mind, that's why you recognize her. She's the girl who Lucy Gray dropped a snake on in the reaping- the mayor's daughter. "Huh?" You ask, trying to look as confused as possible.

"Don't play dumb, we're past that." She scoffs and you just shake your head.

"Genuinely, don't know what you're talking about." You relax your posture, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Well," She sighs, shrugging sarcastically. "I'll go tell my dad where you are. Your family sure is missin' you..." She starts to take a few steps before the back exit and you clench your jaw at her smug smile. You want to rip the hair out of her head and throw her body in the lake to rot.

"Mayfair, you can't leave." Billy Taupe scolds her, grabbing her arm which she quickly yanks away.

"This is ridiculous and confusing, and you act like I don't see the way you still look at Lucy Gray! Why don't you take her with you instead, huh?"

"She is coming, isn't she?" Spruce asks, seeming just as confused as you in a completely opposite way.

"You were bringing Lucy Gray?!" Mayfair shouts, shaking her head at her (now presumably) ex-boyfriend.

"She said she wanted to come!" Billy Taupe defends and you laugh, shaking your head.

"Okay, so clearly there's some major communication issues in this gang of misfits you've found, Sejanus, so let's just go and leave them to it. It won't benefit you to be stuck in the wilderness with a bunch of starving idiots who will kill each other in a week if they get too lazy to hunt." You plead with him and he shakes his head at you.

"Y/N, wait-" Coryo says, looking back at you only briefly.

"Yeah, Capitol Princess is right. I'm out." Mayfair says, raising her hands in defeat and turning to leave. "You'll all hang for this!"

"This power trip you have about your father being the mayor pales in comparison to what my family has. You'll all be dead by the morning if you say a word." You tell her, voice calm as she freezes, turning to look back at you.

"She's all talk, she won't tell anyone." Billy Taupe tries to defend her from the tensions rising in the room. You were concerned about getting sent home, of course, but if she told about their plans to run, everyone in the room would be executed come the morning light.

"Oh, you think I'm scared of you, Sage? You think I won't tell? Ask Lucy Gray." She's right, Lucy Gray had told you about how this girl was responsible for the reaping being rigged to result in Lucy Gray's death in the games. What they never accounted for was her strength, her intelligence, and her having Coriolanus Snow and Y/N Y/L/N as mentors.

And how Lucy Gray became a victor, known initially to most of the Capitol for her similarities to you. Only, Lucy Gray wasn't bat shit crazy.

Coryo's mind is reeling at the threat made to you as the girl starts to walk away. Within a second, before you can even make a move to tackle her, he's reaching onto the table and grabbing one of the guns. He lines up quickly and squeezes the trigger, letting the bullet fly square into the center of the girl's back. His training had paid off sooner than he thought. Coriolanus wasn't about to have you caught, sent back to a home much worse than that safety hazard at the edge of the Seam where you're currently staying.

"Mayfair!" Billy Taupe is quickly at the girls side, but she's already dead. Sejanus is shaking, and you are fighting back the smile that threatens to form on your lips despite the stress of the moment. "What have you done?" He screams at your friend.

"She was gonna get us all killed!" You defend. "You should be thanking him! Trust me, she was nothing special."

"You've got something comin', Capitol boy." He says, shaking his head as he looks up at the two of you, hatred filling his eyes. "You think you're gonna blame me for this? That you'll never get caught?"

You resist the urge to just shrug, agreeing that no, probably not. Undeniably, your best move would be to blame him. "He was defending all of us, can you not get that through your thick skull?" You settle on, keeping your footing as level as possible as Coryo pulls you back closer to his side again.

"If I swing, for this you will with me!" He screams in anger, back on his feet and moving quickly towards you as Coryo shoves you back behind him, lining up again. He didn't have to shoot, though, because Spruce does. The boy's body flings into the wall to the left of you from the force of the impact, slumping against the floor.

Your heart is pounding as you look between your two friends. "Sejanus, are you alright?" You ask, trying to approach him as Coryo starts shouting orders at Spruce to get rid of the guns.

"Hey, he's fine." Coryo grabs your arm, pulling you close to him to look at you. "I'm gonna handle this. Get back out there and sing, play the violin, just do something, okay?"

You glance back at Sejanus again, who is clearly panicking so bad he looks like he might faint. "No, I'm not leaving you, and Sejanus-"

"Sejanus is fine." Coryo says again sternly, shaking your shoulders now as he looks into your eyes. "Go back out there. I will handle this. I'll find you soon." He promises, gently pushing you in the way of the door. "Go. Now."

You swallow the anxiety sitting uncomfortably in the back of your throat and nod, glancing only briefly at your friends before you leave, closing the door quickly behind you.

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @klplynn , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @gloryekaterina , @andrewgarfieldsbitch , @queenofspades6 , @pepperonipastas , @ladybug0095 , @lunamothwrites , @sbrewer21 , @mus-tbe-a-weasley , @splxtscreen , @unclecrunkle , @karmaswitch , @coconut-dreamz , @nekee-lilac02 , @ooooglymoooogly , @riddlerloveb0t , @lovedbalances , @notyourwildestdream , @snowlandson-top , @too-lit-for-fanfic , @utopiakys , @deafeningballoonnacho , @roosterschanelslut , @chmpgneprblem , @cosmoetik , , @urvampgfsworld , @carolanns-world @nan-nie , @shakespearseclipse , @iovemoonyy , @notyoursweetheart-honey , @xyzstar , @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland , @queenofshinigamis , @elodiebeau , @soulessjourney

i've closed my taglist for coryo now!! sorry to everyone who wanted to be added, but unfortunately there was significantly more demand than i expected and i sadly just can't tag everyone. BUT! if you still want notifications when i post for this fic, please turn on my post notifs!!

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas fic #tbosas x reader #thg series #hunger games #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow #coryo x reader #coryo snow #president snow

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 1 month

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You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 15: What Do You Know About Love?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter fifteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 6.5K (I got carried away again)

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing, Angst, Crying, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

**************************************

Present Day *Reader POV*

The shopping bags that hung from your arms would have been heavy for the average person, but for you it seemed like a bag full of pillows. It was the day after you saw Rosemary and said goodbye. Despite the almost excruciating hangover you had this morning, because it'd been almost forty years since you last had a drink, you dragged yourself to the mall to try and find outfits for your trip to Russia. You were satisfied with the few outfits you found, but you were worried because the plane left in a few hours and you were no where near ready.

Mentally or physically.

As much as you wanted to go help Ben, you still were apprehensive about the whole situation, not just about going in blind, but wondering what the hell you were going to do when you saw Ben. You wanted to hold on to your anger, but you were afraid that the moment you looked into his green eyes you would forgive him.

I am not going to forgive him. I'm going to break him out then tell him to fuck off and I never have to see him ever again.

Despite your apprehension, you knew that you had to do this, that you had to go help him even if you still hated him because you couldn't bear the thought of the boy you grew up with being tortured over there all alone. It was the alone part that hurt the most. You knew how much Ben hated being alone. He never had to say it out loud, but all the time you'd spent together in your bedroom before and after the injection spoke volumes.

Of course you still had no idea where you were going, but figured that if you went to the Kremlin you could get some answers, which meant you'd either have to lie your way in or just kill anyone in your path. Which would be messy, but necessary. You try to shake off the guilt of exposing yourself again and what that could mean for Rosemary and Lou. You made sure that Rosemary knew to pack a bag for herself and for Lou and told her to wait for your call.

You wanted to be there to escort them out of the city, didn't want to split up and have them get snagged while you were waiting for them at the rendezvous point, so you told Rosemary to take a few days off and lay low.

When you get to the outside door of your apartment building toting the bags, you notice that it's been broken, as if someone tried to pull it off its hinges.

Well that's great. Hopefully the building manager noticed that.

Your mind drifts back to Ben as you step into the elevator.

What if he isn't alive when I get there? It was an unwelcome thought, but it meant that you wouldn't have to talk to him.

Maybe if I knock him out when I get there and just leave him in a Russian motel somewhere, I won't have to talk to him. You pause. Will he want to talk to me?

The memory of the last time you spoke flashes through your mind bringing an unmeasurable amount of rage and heartbreak back over your body. The dam you built to keep out everything that happened was reaching capacity, especially given the recent events with Countess, and you knew that the moment you saw Ben it was going to burst open. You hoped that you'd be able to keep it together long enough to get out of the lab or wherever the hell he was being held, before you lost it. But it was doubtful.

As you walk down the hallway to you apartment, you notice that your front door is open and you stop walking. Apprehension spikes at the back of your mind as you examine the door. The lock is broken and door is cracked just enough for you to hear people talking inside in hushed tones. You creep forward and look through the crack.

You've got to be kidding me. You groan to yourself noticing Butcher and Hughie standing in your living room.

Great. Just what I need. Right when I'm going to leave they show up. Guess that explains the mystery of the broken door downstairs.

You think about walking away, of going back down the elevator and hoping that by the time you come back they would be gone, but you knew you had to face them and you still had to pack. So you push open the front door of your apartment and step into the room.

"You know when I called saying that I had something else to say about Soldier Boy, I assumed you would call, not break into my apartment." You sigh before moving to the right side of the counter that divides the room between the living room and the kitchen and depositing the shopping bags on the stainless steel top.

"Maybe you shouldn’t leave your apartment unlocked poppet. Anyone could walk in." Butcher replies with a grin.

"Hmm. Sure. You guys here for more coffee?"

"Go shopping did you?" Butcher ignores your snark eyeing the bags.

"Yeah I needed a few new outfits for my art show next month." The lie is easy, but you know that the sudden appearance of the two of them probably meant you were caught red handed. Of course now with everything that happened with Countess, you didn't care anymore if Butcher and Hughie knew who you really were. "You doing okay there Hughie?" You raise an eyebrow as you notice how his heartbeat has spiked since you entered the apartment.

"Good." He says, but he looks uneasy.

Well, guess he's afraid of me now.

"Huh. And here I thought you were replacing your jacket." Butcher throws your ruined jacket onto the floor between you.

You look from the jacket to Butcher. You hadn't bought a replacement and hadn't wanted to throw it out. You were still hoping that the scorch marks looked like you had "distressed" it. It didn't and you knew that, but you loved that coat so much.

"See, I think it’s a big coincidence that Countess got right fucked after we came and talked to you." Butcher smiles.

"Probably the same coincidence as Gunpowder dying before you showed up here the first time." You breeze with a tight-lipped smile.

Where was he going with this? Was he here to kill me? You think about what Legend said about Butcher killing supes.

"That looks bad." Butcher gestures to the jacket. "You have a little spat with your good friend?”

"Let's just say she said a few things that upset me." Your eyes skate from Butcher to Hughie sizing them up. "If you're here to kill me, you're welcome to try. Oh sorry, 'arrest me'." You make air quotes around the words. "But we both know you're not government agents, you reek of Compound V and the last time I checked there was that whole, no supes in the government thing."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to get this out of the way the first time?" Hughie asks.

"I didn't want to be involved." You shrug your shoulders.

"Then why you'd buy a plane ticket to Russia?" Butcher takes a step towards you, but you hold your ground.

You weren't afraid of him.

"I hear it's nice this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold. Very pleasant." You snap back at him eyes narrowed, before you look down at the antique watch on your wrist. "Look I'd love to have a heart to heart, but I just don't have time to do this little dance with you. So we can either get to the part where you try to kill me or-" You raise your gaze from the watch to glare back at Butcher, but then your eyes focus on the hallway behind him and your heart stops.

Ben is standing there in the shadows looking at you the same way he always has, with those wonderful piercing green eyes that makes all other memories of them be put to shame. He's dressed in modern clothes, wearing a dark green shirt that hugs his perfect muscular chest and is the same color of his suit, your favorite color and the one you can never look at without thinking of him because damn it, it's also the color of his eyes. He looks the same, but different. His hair is longer and darker than it was the last time you saw him and his cheeks are covered by a trimmed but thick beard. It was unusual given that you'd never seen him with more than just a little bit of stubble and annoying because it makes him look even more ruggedly handsome, but despite the piercing way his eyes follow you, you can see a haunting memory of the last forty years.

You're upset that the one of the first thoughts you'd had beside staring at him open mouthed is that you wished you were wearing something more flattering than one of your pairs of paint splattered overalls over an old band t-shirt. You were going to Russia to get him and yes maybe you were shopping for things that you could move in, but you had picked out a particular revenge outfit that you believed would make Ben regret everything he did to you and also might have been paired with a particularly badass set of boots that made your legs look very long. The outfit that made you feel beautiful and sexy was unlike the one you were wearing at the moment. Also because you hadn't brushed your hair today and had just stuck it up in a messy bun at the back of your head.

You're struck with the urge to run to him and kill him at the same time, but you can't move and you can’t think.

Apart of you believed that you would find him dead in Russia, a sad thought but it meant that you wouldn't have to relive everything all over again. Everything that went to shit the last 24 hours you spent together that you relived with Countess the other day and now you were reliving when you looked at him standing there looking better than he should.

Because damn it, only Ben could be tortured in a lab for the past 40 years and walk away looking like a GQ model. I've never hated anyone more.

"Ben?" Your voice is no more than a hoarse whisper.

Ben pushes past Hughie and Butcher, taking careful steps towards you like he doesn't want to scare you away. "Y/n." The sound of your name on his lips fills you with an inescapable amount of warmth.

Traitor. You think to yourself at your body’s reaction.

He's standing so close to you now that you can smell the same shampoo and aftershave he always used and it brings back memories of the nights he spent in your bed with you laughing and talking like nothing had changed making you feel alive again for the first time in forty years. Before everything went into the blender set to puree.

Ben's eyes trace your body like he can't believe you're standing in front of him making you wish again that you're wearing the outfit you picked out so that you could look as good as he does. And just as he raises his hand towards your face you remember why you hated him, remember that night, remember what Countess said that caused her to lose her head.

Your hand flashes out so quick you don't think Ben notices it until it lands with a resounding slap against his cheek that sends him reeling back from you. Your strengths were similar, almost identical, and if he hadn't been invulnerable it would have ripped his perfect jaw from his face.

"What the fuck was that for?" Ben snaps, green eyes blazing as he looks back at you.

"You've got some nerve coming back here after all these years." You spit, the anger rising in your chest with wings of fury that beat against your ribcage. "Did you really think that you could just say my name again and make me forget everything that happened Benjamin? I am not one of those trashy women that you used to fuck and the fact that you think you can show up here, give me the fucking puppy dog eyes, and think that I’ll swoon, is ridiculous!”

There goes the dam.

Your gaze levels on Hughie and Butcher who look just as stunned. "And you two. Why did you bring him here? I didn’t want any part of this!”

"Why did you pretend to be dead!" Hughie shouts back.

"Did you think that maybe that was me trying to tell you that I didn't want to be involved? Or are you two just that fucking stupid?"

"Why did you buy a plane ticket then?" Butcher asks again, raising an eyebrow.

Ben is watching you with anger burning in his eyes. It's difficult for you to look at him. Every time you do you think about your last night together, the morning after when he pushed you away, and finally the night where he ripped out your heart and stomped all over it.

How did I ever think I could look at him again when I got him out of Russia?

"Because even though I hate him. He doesn't deserve that. The Ben I knew would have come to get me, and I wasn't going to leave him to rot in some fucking Russian prison." You snap back. "Now get out of my apartment."

"Sweetheart-" Ben begins to say.

"No. No. No. I don't want to hear it from you. Nothing you can say can make this better. I’m glad you’re free or whatever, but go. Get out." You push past him, but Ben's hand flashes out and grabs your wrist with enough force that you feel the bruising of your skin.

"No." He towers over you.

"Let. Me. Go." Your eyes narrow shifting to bright purple. The entire room begins to tremble, the glass windows shake in their panes and the glass jars full of paint brushes on your studio table begin to clink against one another. But he doesn't remove his hand.

"Not until you listen." Ben's own green eyes have hardened into a emerald.

You latch onto the wrist that is holding you and break his grip, before spinning and throwing him backward across the room away from you. Ben's body flies past Hughie and Butcher who watch with wide eyes as he hits the back of the couch and pinwheels over it with a loud thud as he lands on the cushions. You would have rather thrown him into the brick living room wall, but you restrained yourself.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say Benjamin. You said enough that night and apparently you were saying lots of things to Countess about me. So get out." Your eyes skate across Butcher and Hughie. "All of you."

Hughie is still watching you with wide eyes, like he can't believe that just happened.

Join the club kid.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ben shouts, standing from the couch and straightening his clothes. You don't need to be a psychic to know how angry he is. In fact, you're surprised he's not throwing you out the window or at least throwing a punch. Ben didn't tolerate it when anyone put him in his place and it definitely looks like it's taking him an extreme amount of effort not to attack you, given the way his hands are clenched into fists and the way his jaw is tensed so tightly you can see the muscle flexing.

"She told me what you said about me. That you threw me a pity fuck because you felt sorry for me, that you were bored when we had sex because I was so inexperienced."

"It's not true."

"Isn’t it?" You're trying desperately not to cry, but the angry tears have already begun to well up in your eyes. "The last thing you sad to me was that I was pathetic and that you never would love me, never could love me. That you fucked me because you felt bad for me and you wished I would just fuck off. That I was just another warm pussy and that I meant nothing to you. So forgive me for not believing you."

"Oh shit." Butcher mutters under his breath.

"Damn." Hughie echoes.

"I know what I said to you, Y/n. I've spent the past 40 years regretting it-" Ben begins to say, but you interrupt him.

"Oh I'm so sure. The Great Soldier Boy actually has a conscience, let me just alert the media." You spit back. "Oh wait, sorry you wouldn't want that getting out would you Ben? Because that would mean you aren't a man."

"Y/n-" He growls.

"You don't get to come in here and apologize and act like you did nothing wrong. You're not here because you feel sorry, you're here because you want me to dote on you, to follow you around and give a shit like I did for 40 fucking years.”

“Y/n-“

"Stop saying my name like that!" You shout and the glass sugar dish on the counter flies off the counter and smashes into the floor sending shards of glass everywhere.

Hughie flinches.

"Like what?" Ben exclaims.

"Like you care." You cross your arms over your chest staring him down because you don't want to keep crying.

"I do fucking care about you-" Ben snaps running his hand through his dark hair frustrated.

"No you don't. You never did. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

"Yes I do."

"Please stop talking."

"What else do you want me to say?" Ben shouts back, moving towards you. "I'm trying to fucking apologize-"

"I don't want you to say anything and I don't want to hear your half-assed apology! I want you to leave. You and your creepy friends." You gesture back to where Hughie and Butcher are watching with open mouths, who are unsure if they should leave or watch the show.

"They're not my friends."

"And neither am I! Which means I don’t have to listen to anything you have to say!”

"Y/n please-" His teeth are gritted together.

“I'm not some fangirl Ben. I was your friend, your friend before any of this. Before any of this fucking supe shit. I cared about you. I had been in love with you since I was 8. I had taken care of you since the night we met." More tears squeeze down your cheeks as a lifetime of happy memories before everything went down the drain wash over you. The wonderful times you'd shared together at the park, in your bedroom back in Philadelphia, dancing in the dancehall, at baseball games and Ben walking you home all the while you wobbled down the street drunkenly and sang off key. All the blissful little moments that you thought maybe he felt the same way about you and then followed by the moments you spent together the night of your birthday, when you felt more special and loved than you'd ever had. It makes the knife he stuck in your back even sharper.

"That night we spent together meant everything to me. I thought it was special and I thought you loved me. But you don't. You just fucked me because you were bored and you found the first person who said yes.” Your body turns away, but he grabs you by the shoulders to make you look at him.

"I do love you damnit!" He shouts. "I didn't want to-" Ben's jaw clenches in frustration, looking back at Butcher and Hughie. "Can you two just fuck off?"

"I wish you all would." You say, trying to loosen his grip on your shoulders, but he doesn't let go. You think about throwing him across the room again, because it made you feel a lot better.

"Fine. We'll be outside." Butcher says tugging Hughie away.

"Are you sure?" Hughie asks looking from you to Ben as if he's worried to leave the two of you alone.

"You want to be here? Because they're either going to kill each other or start fucking." Butcher responds.

"We are not going to start-" You begin, but they're already out the front door of your apartment leaving you alone with Ben, who is still holding on to your shoulders.

"Please listen to me." Ben says looking deep into your eyes. "When you said that you loved me it-" He stops looking for the right word as if he can't say the next ones that come out of his mouth. "Oh fuck it, it fucking scared me. Okay? It scared me, Y/n, and damnit I'm not a pussy! I'm not afraid of anything!"

“Oh no you could never be a pussy could you? Soldier Boy could never admit that he had real feelings for someone.” Your voice wobbles, tears trailing down your cheeks as you poke him in the chest to emphasize every word. “And now you’re just saying what I want to hear, because you want to have another quick fuck!” You push your hands against his chest trying to push him off of you, but he won't let go. "You're just saying it because its been forty years since you had sex and you thought, huh might as well find the most pathetic person I know, Y/n won't say no if I pretend to be everything she wanted again."

He doesn't mean it. He doesn't love me.

"I’m not lying to you! And I’m not pretending! I wasn't pretending that night either!” Ben roars so loudly you flinch. “That night I felt things with you that I had never felt with anyone else. It wasn't cheap sex or a quick fuck-" His jaw tightens as if he's embarrassed to admit it. "Damn it.” His teeth are gritted together. “We made love. I understood that when I woke up the next morning and I was happy to be there with you. I knew that I loved you and I wanted to tell you, but I fucked it all up instead. I fucked Countess because I was scared of what loving you meant. But I’m ready now, I’m not scared anymore. I love you!”

He's saying everything you always wanted him to, but you're scared. Scared that he's just saying it, that he thinks it's what you want to hear and this is the only way that he can get you back into his life because he needs someone to follow him around, because he can't be alone.

You stand there for a minute taking in his stance. His head is slightly bowed in shame, shoulders tight, body leaning towards you. But then you catch his eye, you see the sorrow, frustration, and pain in his gaze. Ben was not big on sharing feelings and for him to admit all of these things aloud was shocking enough without the obvious emotions flashing in his eyes. It was so different than the stoic or pissed off attitude he usually had when he was Soldier Boy. The look in his eyes is so earnest and Ben has never been a good liar, not to you anyway. You always knew what he was thinking.

If I forgive him then what does that mean? I forget the past 40 years like they never happened? I forget all the tears when he broke my heart? Forget how broken I was? How broken I still am?

You think of all the times you missed him, all the times you forgot about what he said to you and remembered the good, all the times you wanted him there with you and Rosemary because you knew he would love to be there. All the early memories together, all the missions, everything that lead up to the falling out and Ben’s supposed death. Ben's admission of guilt and his confession of love for you was shocking. Especially because the Ben you knew 40 years ago would have rather dropped dead than say the words "make love."

No. I won't give in. I can't do this, I can't do this all over again. I was better, I was moving on, he doesn't have the right to come here and mess up my life all over again.

"No." You shout, shoving him away with all your strength. Ben stumbles backward, his eyes wide as if he wasn't expecting you to push him away, because of course he wasn't. “You don’t know anything about love. You’re just saying that because you know it’s what I want to hear, what I’ve always wanted you to say to me.”

He still doesn't understand how much he hurt me. And he doesn't deserve my forgiveness.

“I’m not just saying that, it’s true. Please y/n-“

"I don't believe you. And when I said I never wanted to see you ever again I wasn't lying. So get out Ben!" You shout.

"No. I love you and I'm not leaving." Ben says back determined.

You weren't prepared for what those words did to you. You weren't prepared for the floodgate of emotions that exploded the moment those words passed through his lips or the way it felt like you were being tugged in two different directions. Because despite wanting to throw him across the room again, those three little words made you want to run into his arms and hold him close, made you want him to take you to bed and make you forget all the shitty things that happened forty years ago, make it like he never left.

But you couldn't do it. As much as you wanted to forgive him, you couldn't because you didn't trust him anymore, you didn't trust that he could give you what you wanted.

“Too bad! I won’t do this to myself again. All I did was care about you, help you. I stood by you and made excuses for the person you became and I held on to this picture of the boy you used to be. The one I fell in love with. The one that used to climb in my window when things were hard. The one that took me to my first baseball game. The one who danced with me. The one that made me feel like less of a freak because he understood me. And the one that begged me to leave Howard and everything I knew and come with him. That night we were together I saw that boy again. I loved that boy. I would have done anything for him and I did. But he’s not here anymore. And I hate myself for holding on to him as long as I did.”

"But I told you I loved you!" Ben exclaims.

“Just saying that isn’t enough, not after everything that happened!” You shout. "You're forty years too late Benjamin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted and I’m going to go to bed. And I don’t want you to be here when I wake up.”

"Y/n please-" You hate how he sounds when he says it, like he's broken, because Ben has never once sounded that way in all the years you'd known him. You hate how he looks. How his dark hair is falling forward into his face and he looks so much like the boy you used to love that it makes you want to scream, because you wanted to believe that he was gone, but all you see when you look up at him is that boy. There is not one shred of Soldier Boy in the way he looks right now and you hate that. You hate that you wanted to forgive him, that all it took was him looking like at you like that. But you still can't do it.

"Just go." Your throat thickening as you say it, fresh tears trailing down your cheeks. "I don't want you here. I never want you to come here ever. I never want to see you again.” You lie pushing past him and walk down the dark hallway, slamming and locking your bedroom door behind you. Your body sinks to the floor as you pull your knees up into your chest, sobs shaking your body and tears pour from your eyes.

How many tears can I spend on one man? How do I still have any left after all these years? How could I have been stupid to think that I was over him? That I could just go to Russia, break him out, and then push him out of my life so easily? None of what just happened was easy.

Your face presses into your knees. You want to call Rosemary, call her and tell her what happened, but your phone is still on the counter and you couldn't go back out there, because you knew he was still there. Standing in your living room looking too perfect after all these years and saying all the things you always wanted him to and you don’t want to go out there and forgive him.

So you stay. Your back pressed against the door, crying into your knees and hoping that this will just all end.

Because it’s got to one day right?

***************************************************

*Soldier Boy POV*

He hadn't meant to reach for you, but all he wanted was to feel the gentle swell of your cheek beneath the palm of his hand, the smoothness of your skin against his rough fingertips, and to memorize the planes of your face with his touch. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. Your curves perfectly accentuated by a pair of cute paint splattered overalls that made him smile, and your hair pulled away from your face in a messy bun but still made you look effortless and striking. When he saw you standing there, it was like taking a punch to the gut. He knew that he missed you, but seeing you there warm and alive made him want to crush you against his chest and never let you go ever again.

He had laid himself bare before you, allowing himself to push through the urge to shove all his emotions back beneath the surface as his father taught him, and spoke, instead, the words he wished that he had said all those years ago.

Ben's shoulders tense when he thinks of what you shouted back at him, how broken you looked. His heart falls into the pit of his stomach when he remembers the tears in your eyes. Ben hated it when you cried. He also hated that the first time he saw you in forty years he made you cry, again.

He didn't know how to fix this. Ben thought that his apology would be enough to make you at least try to forgive him, but it hadn't. You had shoved him away from you, refused to let him touch you or comfort you-

Why is she so damn stubborn? I apologized! I told her that I loved her! Isn’t that what she wanted?

He grits his teeth together thinking about how you threw him across the room like he weighed nothing. If anyone else had done that to him, Ben would have killed them, but he knew that he deserved it. He knew you would be mad, but he thought that you would at least want to hear everything he had to say instead of cursing him out and slamming the door in his face.

When you slammed your door behind you, he had stood outside of it for an hour listening to you cry, heard your soft muffled sobs. At one point he leaned his head against the door and wished you would let him in so he could hold you while you cried, even though the thought made him feel like a pussy. He wanted to comfort you. He wished you had forgiven him, allowed him to take you to bed, allowed him to show you how sorry he was and how much he loved you. He wished that you let him help you forget the last shitty forty years that you spent without him, forget what he said and what he did to you that night.

The harsh words you yelled at him make him flinch, when you told him that you didn't want him there and never wanted him to come back. They were the words that he always feared you would say to him when he climbed in through your window at night or when he showed up at your apartment when you were still on Payback. And hearing you say those words felt worse than anything those Russian fucks did to him. Because Ben didn't know where he belonged if he wasn't with you, he didn't know what to do if you weren't in his life, you were the only thing that mattered.

How could I fuck this up this much?

Ben looks back at the clock on the wall in the kitchen which shows he'd been there for three hours waiting for you to come out of your room, but you hadn't. He knew it was because you fell asleep, he could hear your heart beat, your soft breath against the pillows, and the almost silent sounds you made when you slept. They were exactly the same as when he would fall asleep next to you and damn it he didn't realize how much he missed them until this exact moment.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How do I fucking fix this?

Ben stands from the couch and walks down the hallway for the millionth time to stand outside your door preparing to knock, but he didn't know what to say. He thought that he'd said enough, but judging by your reaction he hadn't.

The thought of saying anything else was difficult for him to swallow. It was hard enough to say what he had to you, but he was realizing he was going to have to delve even deeper to make you even look at him again or want to be around him.

Finally he goes to the front door of your apartment before he looks back down the hallway. He didn't want to leave, didn't want you to wake up and him not be there despite what you said about wanting him to leave. He wanted you to understand that he wasn't going anywhere and that he was never going to leave you ever again no matter how hard you tried to push him away. But he needed to leave now, not for long, just long enough for him to get what he needed.

He had seen the florist shop on the corner when Butcher drove up. As Ben walked down the street in the direction of the florist he remembered the conversation he had with Butcher after you slammed your door in his face. Convincing Butcher to let him remain in the apartment was difficult, but finally when Ben threatened to rip Hughie in half, Butcher relented stating that he would give Ben one night with you before he came back. That was the deal anyway, Ben had lied, because like hell he was going to leave now that he'd found you again.

Ben wasn't planning on leaving and even if you couldn't stand to look at him, Ben would not go. Even if it meant sleeping on that shitty couch every night.

He would never leave you again.

The smell of the flowers wafted out of the small shop when Ben opens the door, his eyes skating across the numerous bouquets, each one more extravagant than the last. Other women would swoon over them, but not you. His eyes fall first on roses, but he turns away. He knew that you didn’t like roses, although many believed them to be classic, Ben knew that you thought over the years that roses had become generic and overused. He of course had sent some to numerous women over the years, but he liked that you were different. He always liked that about you. He rolls his eyes when he remembered when Howard bought you some every week.

Because of course that asshole didn’t know what y/n liked. No one knows her as well as me.

The man behind the counter eyes him when he walks in. "Can I help you find something sir?"

"No." Ben says gruffy looking at the displays again, but then he sighs. "Do you have any lavender?"

"Lavender?"

"Yeah." Ben knew it was the only thing that you would accept, knew that it was your favorite because it reminded you of the house your family rented over the summers up North. Ben hated those summers. He'd break into your bedroom and sleep in your bed while thinking of you and reading the letters you sent him over and over again, the ones that you pressed fresh lavender into and the ones that made him realize just how much he needed you.

Those of course weren’t the only letters you ever sent him. When he went to boarding school he’d wait for you to send him a letter and one of your doodles or a small painting. He kept every one in a cigar box under his bed. It was why he was kicked out of boarding school number nine, a fight he had with another student began because the student had found the box and then proceeded to mock Ben endlessly by passing around the letters you sent him. Ben had never told you what the fight was about.

Ben stops as he realizes how he’s going to get you to listen to him.

“Here you are sir.” The florist reappears at the counter holding a large vase of freshly cut lavender.

“Do you have a phone I can borrow?” Ben asks.

“Sure.”

The object the man hands him is not a phone, well not a phone that Ben’s ever seen before.

“I said a phone-“

“That is a phone?” The man looks confused.

“How do I fucking call someone with this?” Ben sighs shaking the black rectangle in his hand and looking for the buttons.

The man takes the object and swipes his fingers across it before handing it back to him so Ben can see the numbers to dial. “Just push what you want and hit the green button.” The man says, looking at Ben like he's crazy.

“Oh. Thanks.” He mutters, before dialing the number and holding the phone up to his ear.

Legend answers on the first ring.

“Hey it’s me. Do you still have all my old shit from my apartment?”

“Somewhere.”

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

******************************************

N/A: Why not end on a cliffhanger? This chapter is a bit longer, because this week is CRAZY for me and I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next chapter. But I'm not giving up on these two. They deserve the world.

Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you guys think. If you'd like to be added to my taglist, please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts @onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress @my-obsession-spn @lifeonawhim @soldirboy @liuope @brynanna @abramswife @xxannyxx @babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit

#soldier boy x you #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x female reader #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #the boys #jensen ackles #soldier boy fic #billy butcher #the boys amazon #hughie campbell #the boys fanfic #jackles #the boys season 3 #the boys series #the boys tv #the boys s3

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salaciousdoll · 8 months

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꒷︶ ̇ ̟ ෆ ‿︵‿ The Salacious Exploits ‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ︶꒷

•┈୨Chapter II୧┈•

•┈୨please be advised to the warning before continuing୧┈•: Hyperfeminine!reader, Bimbo!/ditzy!reader, Fem reader, smut, angst, fluff, laid back professor Gojo, Gojo being Gojo( I think), Gojo is a bit ooc when it comes to him being a perv, reader’s second day goes alright, geto pisses reader off and he liked it, Toji and Shiu are gym buddies, you and Eren talk all night on the phone, volleyball tryouts, reader owns her own volleyball, basically you are a pro at volleyball but not at running or certain positions( Libero), DARK CONTENT, taboo!, teacher x student relationship, this is not all glorified, there will be the downsides that come later, reader has daddy and mommy issues, daddy’s is more severe, self indulgent, reader is spoiled down, smut, Erwin smith is the first man you fuck, big and heavy dick Erwin, condom use because duh it’s the first official fuck, wall fucking, fucking on a sink, you roll the condom on his dick with your mouth, pet names( little dove, angelic whore, slut, pretty girl, etc.), degradation/praise, cervix kissing( gently but it can still hurt), reader is hyper sexual, History professor!Erwin, Jean meet you but doesn’t know your the new girl, bartender!jean, Eren is growing fond of you and so are Mikasa, Armin, and Maki, daddy kink is seen here once, dirty talking Erwin, coach! Onyankopon, Coach!Geto, lemme know if I missed anything,

ﾟ•┈୨ Song for this Chapter୧┈•ﾟ｡: Party Girls- Victoria Monet

ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ┈•ﾟNote from salaciousdoll: this is the second chapter of this series and I’m so excited for you all to read it. I’m gonna be starting my kinktober fics now, so this won’t be a weekly update, just until I at least make it to the end of the month fic. Anyways, HAPPY KINKTOBER BABIES🫶🏾

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Previously on Salacious Exploits….

Your voice came out calm and collected, “ You’re very welcome, sir. Have a nice day.” You smiled prior to power walking out of the classroom and building. You didn’t know who he was getting head from and you should’ve had a different reaction but this school looked fishy as soon as you stepped on the lawn and plus the false advertisement the website has is enough to make anyone turn it down but you and your mother were too dumb and naive to realize, your mother just wanted you near her. Though you couldn’t see Mr.Kamo face properly, yet you knew he was fine just from his moans and voice. On your way to your car to go home, you noticed a small sticker with a phone number on it and Eren’s name on top of it. You were surprised to see it because when the hell did he have time to do this. You most likely wasn’t paying attention when he did it because you were too busy looking around the school when you two walked to your first, well second class today. You did not like calling men first but you’ll excuse this because you had a feeling you were going to love that call. Just like you are going to love this school.

Waking up with Eren snores in your ear on the phone was funny and relaxing. You would’ve thought he would’ve hung up the phone after you fell asleep, yet he didn’t. You called him first and from that point on you two hit it off. You two talked about the school, his friends he’s going to introduce you to at the party someone’s throwing at the bar down the street from the campus today. You yawned and got out of bed walking to the shower to freshen up for classes today. You only had two classes today, psychology and physiology. Two classes you didn’t want to take but they were the last options when you signed up for classes online.

After showering and getting ready, you grabbed your supplies you needed for today and your Telfar Ballerina shopping bag with a lot of the materials you need for school and practice, slipping your shades on afterwards. Eren hung up the phone when you were taking a shower and you were partially glad for it because you didn’t want to talk to anyone before class. You had on a decent outfit today— tied-up pink cardigan over a black jumpsuit that showed off your hips, love handles, or hip dips with pink-satin miu miu ballerina shoes and black leg warmers.

You didn’t feel like doing anything special except trying out for volleyball, a sport you’ve been dedicated to since you were younger. It’s a pro and con sport for you because the pro is being the best on your team but the con is being the biggest in weight on your team. It's contradictory really. Now you get to see try out for volleyball for this college, maybe you’ll be able to face your old teammates from your old college. But first, you have to get through your classes first because right after your second class, it’s gonna be 30 minutes until tryouts.

Heading into the classroom, you spot Eren sitting with a boy with freckles and a girl next to him with dark green hair in a bob. She favored someone you met already and just couldn’t put it to mind especially with the way Eren was close-lip smiling at you. He was not paying attention to anything or anyone talking to him— all he could focus on is you. He was slowly catching feelings for you and he didn’t mind it one bit at how fast you captured his attention especially after getting over his break up with Mikasa.

You waved at him and took the seat he pointed to in the row in front of him. You were so glad that he got a seat near the end of the row because you didn’t feel like squeezing past people. Once you sat down, eren leaned down to whisper in your ear, “ had a great time last night on the phone, we should do it again sometime. You know… to get to know each other more.” You turned around to see him scratching the back of his head, almost like you made him shy or anxious.

You smirked at his actions, “ Next time, you call me first. A lady should never have to call a gentleman first.” Your teasing just made him raise his hand to cover his face from letting his friend see his blushing cheeks and nose. You wondered if he knew the tip of his ears were red as well.

Eren didn’t know what your type was and you honestly felt a little bad for him, but a little part of you hoped this was a puppy type crush and that’s it. What you really wanted was an older man, kinda like your professor that just walked in practically yelling good morning. You wondered how a man like him had this much energy as you eyed him with a tip of your pink pen in your mouth. His glasses were now clear prescription glasses and he looked even more gorgeous than before. You wanted to jump his bones right here.

Your thoughts were soon interrupted by professor Gojo clapping his hands and then motioning to the projector, “ You should already know what class you are taking—” Gojo then opened his arms, making his body into a T, “ But I’m gonna tell you anyway, Welcome to Psychology 112. For today, we will be learning about each other and reading the syllabus together. Originally, the syllabus was supposed to be your homework, but skip that! Don’t wanna give you homework on the first day, wouldn’t wanna overbear you on your first day like short stack Levi or for those who have Mr.Nanami, am I right?”

He was the first professor you’ve seen since yesterday that made the student laugh. You were surprised you let out a little laugh at his joke. You had a feeling you and Professor Gojo would get along just fine.

During his class, Eren couldn’t focus, he only paid attention when you spoke about yourself— starting with your name, “ Um, a little bit about me is that I like wearing high fashion brand clothing, I’m rich, and pretty.” Some of the girls and guys smacked their lips or let out loud sighs and some snickered to themselves.

Gojo stared at you with intensity before smiling to himself, “ anything else, miss { reader’s last name}. What made you decide to take my class?”

You mentally rolled your eyes at this question because you could either lie or tell the truth. You did what you did best, “ I was late when registering for classes and this was one of the last classes I had to choose but luckily I like learning about different behaviors and how it affects the mentality, ya’ know.” You lied and told the truth all in one. You thought nobody would notice, but Gojo did. Luckily, he let it pass by smirking at you and nodding his head. Once he went to the next person, you let out a relieved breath out of your mouth. Eren chuckled with Marco at your exaggerated action.

Marco extended his hand over your shoulder, “ sorry I couldn’t properly introduce myself. My name is Marco Boldt, as you may know from the previous introduction.” He let out a cute chuckle before speaking again, “ It’s a pleasure to meet you.” You turned to shake his hand as the next person spoke about their favorite hobbies and such.

“ Nice to meet you as well. Who’s the girl beside you Eren?” You eyed her up and down slowly and , to her, seductively.

She stuck out her hand like she was forced to stick it out, “ The girl next to him name is Mai, you would’ve known that if you paid attention, airhead.”

You wanted to curse her out but decided against it because maybe she was just a hard ass on purpose. Like she got a point to prove but to whom? You’ll never know especially when Gojo yelled out your name and to be quiet afterwards.

Smacking your lips was the first and only option you had as a reaction because it wasn’t even you that was speaking. You have been getting into trouble with the professors at this school too much already. It’s already getting on your nerves. You thought he was the least strict teacher here— you guessed wrong then. Only you didn’t guess wrong, he just wanted to fuck with you because he felt like it and he wanted to see how your name rolls off his tongue since it’s different than most people at this school. After everyone introduced themselves, you all read the syllabus and asked him questions about the syllabus.

Class wrapped up after that and when you walked past Gojo’s desk with Eren’s arm around your shoulder, scratched something inside of Gojo’s Brain and he didn’t like it. He had to know if you two were dating, not like that’s gonna stop him, but he didn’t need an hot head like Eren to fuck up his plan. A hot head that’s quick to spread rumors due to his indifferences with this school and much more. The only way he knows that is because he knew every last one of his students due to how little the social life here is at school. The school may be big, but the acceptance rates were lower than hell. Plus, he’s heard from the past professors that Eren is the star boy of the school.

“ Because of his fucking fath-”, Gojo says, before getting interrupted by a little laugh. He looked up and locked eyes with you standing in front of him with your books to your chest. You looked so fucking beautiful to him.

“ Mumbling to yourself Mr. Gojo, maybe psychology is the right major to teach for you.”, You say, laughing but stopping once you seen he wasn’t laughing just staring at you. You then realized what you said was inappropriate and hurried to back track until he held up a hand.

You waited for him to yell or give you the stern talk, but he just laughed with his head back, really loudly too. “ You’re a jokester, gotta watch out for you even more. What did you come to talk to me about? Any questions about the syllabus that you could’ve asked during class.” You squint your eyes at the last part prior to staring at him in silence.

He tilted his head and removed his glasses from his face to sit on the desk. When he did that, you had the urge to grab his face and kiss him, but you fought your urge and answered his question, “ Came to talk to you about how much homework we’re having for this class. Is it a lot? And how many essays do we have to do?”

Gojo smiled at you, “ It's not a lot of essays, only four for midterm and finals. There’s gonna be two chapters for you to read each day after today. Think of today as a free pass from homework.” He almost wanted to laugh at your expressions when he said 4 essays and two chapters.

You smiled at him and said your thanks, walking away afterwards. You had your last class of the day in 5 mins and it takes you three minutes to walk to the class so you’ll be on time. Meanwhile, back in the classroom, satoru sat there with your flavor perfume lingering in his classroom, well in the space by his desk.

Walking to Mr.Geto class was fun when you had Armin and his friends walking with you. His friends meaning Connie, Sasha, Yuuta,Maki, and Mikasa walking with you. You passed Mai and put two and two together when you took one good glance at Maki. They either had to be sisters or cousins. Crazy thing about it, is that you and Armin arrived 2 minutes early and were two of the three people already there.

There was another boy there with a high ponytail and on his lower cheek, close to his chin. He looked so quiet and you didn’t want to disrupt it so you sat next to Armin, who was sitting below the boy. You hope class goes by fast because then all you have to do is get ready for try-outs.

Soon, students started to fill out the classroom and in between the last two students, a tall man with his hair in a top bun— a piece hanging in the front of his head, black suit nicely tailored and decked, and several rings wrapped around about two fingers on each hand. You finally realized, after a long time of staring, that this was the man you locked eyes with when you were heading to Mr. Kamo class. He was coming from the gym and looked so hot, now he looks hotter.

“ Goodmorning class, today we’re going to read over the syllabus and I’ll go over the materials you need in order to pass this class. After that, I’ll let you all go to enjoy the rest of your day. Oh, I almost forgot, those of you know me already, some of you..”, Getos said walking back and forth until he locked eyes with you again. “ Don’t. So I’ll introduce myself, my name is Suguru Geto, you may not call me by that name, only my last, Professor Geto.”

He’s a little sassy with his introduction and you didn’t mind one bit in fact it made him hotter. He began plugging up his laptop for the projector while Armin spoke to a guy next to him. He was a handsome guy and you never saw him around the school before. Armin asked you for a pencil and you fetched your pencil case for a pencil. He laughed once he saw the color of the pencil, “ How did I know this would be the color of your pencils as well?”

You laughed and was about to respond until Mr.Geto cleared his throat, “ Okay, everyone, I got everything situated so let’s start? Yeah.” You did not know why but when he said yeah it was so sexy. You hated how easily you got turned on when it comes to older men. You suddenly got into your bubble of thoughts watching the way his arms flexed whenever he reached to point a finger at people or to point at the bullet point on the board. He was a beauty indeed and you knew it would take a lot to seduce him since he seemed all business at the moment. His dark eyes zoom in on you, spacing out with your legs crossed and your pencil eraser in your mouth, “ Miss {reader’s last name}, tell me what’s the fifth rule when it comes to turning in my essays?”

You hated being in the spotlight of answering questions, it’s annoying as hell and you disliked anyone who did it to you, “ I don’t know because I wasn’t paying attention, sorry for not paying attention, won’t happen again.” You didn’t want to give him attitude, so you just said sorry and kept silent the rest of the class. He didn’t like that you were as silent as a church mouse. He hated it in fact because when he wanted to call on you during class he felt your stone glare all over his PowerPoint and him. He could tell you were pissed but why were you so cute pissed off. He had to tell Satoru since he was speaking about you nonstop to him.

After some minutes, class was finally over and you were ready to get up out of there, in fact you were the first one to leave and he took note of that. He actually managed to piss you off on the first day and it was over something dumb. Not that he should care though, you’re the student and he’s the professor. But hey was he still thinking about you while waving bye to the rest of his students.

You, on the other hand, decided to transfer your anger onto the volleyball in tryouts. You had to walk across the street to the gym which got your blood pumping with adrenaline. So when you walked in the locker room, you placed your bag on the bench. Annie came in and sat her bag down next to you— changing her clothes right there. You gawked at her changing in front of you so boldly when there’s stalls in here. Mikasa, Maki, a girl with blue hair came in with them speaking loudly compared to the other two. Annie felt your eyes on her and turned to you with a deadpan expression on her face, “ What? Am I not allowed to change in front of you?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “ You could do whatever you want, I’m just gonna go change in the stall. No hard feelings babes.” She rolled her eyes at the nickname as she watched you walk off, waving to Maki and Mikasa.

You put on your attire for tryouts and made your way out the stall with your bag on your shoulder. You were making sure your knee pads were on properly, when a hand suddenly came out in front of you. Following the hand with your eyes, you smiled at her before hearing her speak, “ Why not have you apart of our competition, whoever gets the most serves and sets to the count of ten, wins and the winner gets to get free drinks from the losers for tonight’s back to school party at the bar, you’re in?” The blue haired girl was in front of you proposing a deal you couldn’t refuse if you wanted to because you loved competition. It makes things fun.

So you shook her hand while batting your eyelashes up at her, “ Deal. Be prepared to buy my drinks ladies.” You yelled out the last sentence as you made your way past them. Maki laughed, “ You’re confident. I like that.”

Mikasa shook her head, “ No, she’s delusional, especially if she thinks I’m losing.”

“ But you’re not winning, that’s for sure. So let her be delusional, they’ll only make it more fun when I win.”, Annie said, bandaging up her elbows while having a stare off with Mikasa.

Miwa smiled at her friends competing with each other because you’ve already walked out to the gym already whilst these three were still talking to each other. She loved volleyball season for a reason. This was one of them. It was great to be back. She just wished Mai was here as well— sadly she’ll just come late as always.

While the four of them were walking out the bathroom, you were already in the gym with the other girls that’s trying out for volleyball. The gym was huge enough for you all to have tryouts with the boys volleyball team. They were so tall and handsome, one guy stood out to you. He had a mullet and a beard that suited his face just right. He was working on his overhand serves just by swinging his arm up and down for right now. Armin was beside him with a guy with a bowl cut. You guess he was stuck in the 80s and 90s. Next to the bowl cut guy was the boy you met before, Yuuta.

On the benches against the wall, you see Eren, Reiner, Todo, Connie, Sasha, another girl with a blonde bob, a girl with two black pigtails and a girl with two blonde pigtails next to her, she could be mistaken for a little kid, honestly. Seems like some teachers are speaking with both coaches of the teams on the sideline.

I guess volleyball is an important sport at this school after all. You turn to see Mai beside you with an arm around your shoulder, “ Hey, my little pinky pie, ready to buy me a drink? I mean, you can make up for not listening to my introduction yesterday, that really hurt me, ya know?”

The blue haired girl came up on the other side of you, “ Mai, leave her alone. Can’t believe you made it on time.” She then turns to you with a pretty smile, “ I forgot to introduce myself, I’m Miwa Kasumi, nice to meet you. Don’t worry, I already know your name— so you don’t have to tell me.” You smiled at her and nodded your head prior to focusing back on pumping your pink and white volleyball full of air with their little air pumper.

You bounced it against the floor and watched it fly up, catching it afterwards. You smiled over at the girls that watched you, some of their eyes weren’t on what you were doing, rather than what’s behind you. Your ass looked so good in them spandex and if some of them weren’t straight you would’ve been wrapped around their fingers.

After a while, a tall black man with a clean cut bald fade and pretty smile blew the whistle and yelled out “ Huddle around, Girls.”

You all gathered around him with some of the gym balls and your own balls. “ Alright, so today Hange, who is the co-coach, is out for today because of their own business matters, so you’re only having me with you today.” He looked at each of you before speaking again, “ Today is about determining if you’re skillful enough to join this team. Here at Maria Kaizen, we take sports seriously just like academics. Sports are a huge thing in this city so you should already know that. So first, you’re gonna warm up, so give me about five laps around the track outside that door over there, come back in and get a drink of water— meet me back here afterwards, understand?”

You hated running laps so you took your time running while the rest of them didn’t take their time. Maki and Mikasa were toe to toe with each other until Mikasa got another boost of energy from nowhere and finished her 5 laps before Maki. After that the rest of the team followed pursuit but you were still on the 4 lap and wasn’t gonna speed up anymore because you were beginning to breathe hard. Another chubby girl and a skinny girl were running after you, both of them kept encouraging you to keep going and you hated it. You weren’t mean, it’s just it’s embarrassing when people run with you or encourage you to finish especially when you’re at the freaking finish line. Nevertheless, you still thank them— sharing high fives as well.

Once you finally finished your lap, you headed into the gym room and surprisingly didn’t see any of the other girls there, but luckily you spotted them standing outside the gym drinking water. You headed that way not noticing multiple eyes on you since you stepped back into the gym. Eren spotted you and so did Armin, Armin jogged to you first causing Eren to scowl at him— he hid it well when everyone looked at him trying to basically dive down the bleachers.

“ Hey, didn’t know you were trying out for volleyball, hope you make it, so I could go against you during practice.”, Armin says with a polite smile. You smiled at him and spoke to him, “ can’t wait for you to lose those practice games.”

With that, you walked off with him watching you walk away, a small smile adorning his face. Meanwhile, you were the last one to get water and was thankful for it because you almost drink the entire fountain until you heard a deep voice speak, “ Save some for the fishes sweetheart.”

“ Aww come on, girl must be tired after running 5 laps, ease up on her Shiu and besides we’re supposed to be going to the weight room so come on man.”, Another deep voice and the same voice you heard speak to you before. The security guard with black hair and green eyes. Another security guard was with him, he was so handsome, he had a compress shirt on with joggers to match with the green eye man.

You stared at them and they stared at you until the one with the green eyes spoke, “ Welcome to Maria Kaizen, I’m Toji Fushiguro and this is Shiu Kong, we’re the security guards here so you’ll be seeing us around a lot, see you around beautiful.” Shiu guy nodded his head at you and walked away, Fushiguro followed behind leaving you with rampant thoughts in your mind.

You finally snapped out of your thoughts when Maki came and got you for the beginning of tryouts. The first drill of tryouts was seeing if you could under serve and you got this. All of y’all had to serve your balls where the short gremlin of a teacher stood. You took a pretty good guess and knew he was probably filling in for Ms. Zoe. Maki served and it went over the net and nowhere near Levi, Mikasa served and it went over the next almost to where he stands, Mai served and it hit the net but still went over the net, that was a let serve, and Miwa served up a big hit making it go into the air, almost to the ceiling. She yelled an oops and sorry prior to running off behind Mai.

All throughout the rest of the team's serves, Levi had a mean scowl on his face and you could see that from where he stood or did you predict what he’ll look like. You laughed at your joke before it was your turn to serve. You bounced the ball on the floor once and positioned yourself on the line, holding the ball out and reeling your hand back before serving under. The ball almost hit Levi right in the face until he moved with a wide eyed stare at you. You hurry to yell sorry but Levi felt like that was intended since he did piss you off once, yet it wasn’t. Thing is, the speed of that ball was abnormal because usually he'd duck or dodge in a heartbeat, just then he barely moved in time. Miche was impressed watching on the sidelines if only Erwin was here instead of fucking someone on his desk right now then he would’ve seen this stunt.

Onyankopon was truly impressed so he had to see your overhand serve, so he had everyone do that next. Although this time, he asked Miche to stand there instead of Levi. Everyone overhand serves were good except for a few slip ups. Onyankopon made note of the five that slipped up. It was now your turn and he watched you carefully before looking around to find everyone looking at you. You’re gonna be a star if you make the team. A star right next to Maki and Mikasa.

Geto who was supposed to be coaching the boy’s volleyball team was watching you closely just like his co coach, Choso. Right now the boys were just serving non stop until he blew the whistle. Their tryouts were yesterday, so they were now just practicing. They watched as you angled your right arm in a 90 degree angle whilst your left arm was straight with the palm up. They both looked at each other, nodding their heads before looking over at onyankopon who nodded his head at them. They all knew that you knew what you were doing. You tossed the ball in the air and brought your arm up to smack it with so much force. Onyankopon took note of the way you stepped into the serve. It’s like you were a pro at this so he had no choice but to already think of recruiting you.

Now it was time to see if you can jump serve, set, and play the other positions well, especially the Libero position. And you played all of them astonishingly except for Libero. You hated that position so you didn’t even try and Onyankopon noticed that, which was a mistake on your part. He blew his whistle at the end of the tryouts, gathering you all around, “ Listen up ladies, I will let you all know if you made it at the next meeting, which is next week. This was a great tryout, probably the best tryouts I’ve ever seen over my years of coaching volleyball, if only coach Zoe was here to see what I saw in you ladies today. This is the conclusion of the tryouts and I will see you ladies soon. Now go shower and get to your next class or go home.” His voice was so smooth and deep, it drove you wild. He drove you wild already when you walked past him and smelt his cologne. You made note that it wasn't cheap cologne, so sexy to you.

You walked behind the girls to the locker room to freshen up. Your shower took a long time because you had to scrape off your sweat. You hated sweat sticking on your body. After washing your body, you dried off and got dressed. During the shower everyone said their see yous and goodbyes to you so you were the last one in the locker room getting dressed.

Once you finally got dressed in the other clothes you packed in your book bag you carried on your back, you walked out and almost screamed when you saw Mr.Ackerman standing with his back to the wall.

He looked unfazed at your screaming as he pushed himself off the wall stopping in front of you, “ Just for that little stunt you pulled, I’ll be giving you extra homework tomorrow.”

You scoffed and walked around him to walk off, “ It’s not even school hours for me and you’re getting on me. I didn’t even mean to do that honestly. So I will not be doing that extra work, see you tomorrow, Mr. Ackerman.” You hurried to walk away from that deranged little man and walked to your car in the parking lot. You would’ve stayed if he actually cared enough to keep you in his grasp longer.

After, you headed home while talking to Eren on the Bluetooth call. He just asked you about tryouts and gave you the address to the bar for tonight. You were excited to party because you needed it after this rough day. The only thought in your mind as you made your way home after ending the call with Eren is that your body will be sore tomorrow.

Arriving at the bar took about fifteen minutes, so it wasn’t that far from the campus but was far from your house. You were now freshly done up like a doll. You looked so sexy in your choice of an outfit. You did your makeup perfectly. It was like you were a doll and an Angel at the same time. Dollgelic really.

Once you stepped into the lively bar, it was packed from the opening of the door. Eren spotted you while his arm was around Mikasa, who was stately immensely at you with a twinkle in her eyes. You made it, she didn’t think you would’ve come to be honest, you don’t seem like a bar kinda girl. More like a club kinda girl in her mind.

They both greeted you with a hug, both hugging longer than usual. You all begin to walk over to the group of students and all around you were cheers and whoop whoops from seeing you. Yeah they were drunk already but I mean what can you expect when you showed up an hour later than the original time the party started. Rather show up fashionably late or won’t go at all.

“ Hey new girl, you gotta drink your first shot of the night since you’re late missy, by the way the names Floch, what’s yours?”, Floch asked drunkenly. You smiled and looked at Eren with squinted eyes of ‘this better not be poison’ eyes and he nodded his head as a gesture of answering your question or reassuring you.

You took the glass from his hand and smiled, “ {reader’s name}, nice to meet you.” You took the shot after you said your piece, scrunching up your face at the sour and strong taste in your mouth. Floch shouted a loud yeah with his fist in the air as your face turned back to your regular face. He liked you already.

Eren shook his head and headed over to where Armin was sitting. On the other hand, you were heading towards the direction of the bar, only jumping when you felt a hand tug your hand, “ What the fu-” you paused when you saw who it was, “ oh it’s just you, Hi Sasha.”

Sasha squealed and hugged you so tightly like she knew you all her life, “ Oh my.. you remember my name. I would’ve thought you forgot my name.”

You stared at her with a confused expression on your face. You grabbed Sasha's face between both of your hands, squeezing her cheeks together, “ How drunk or high are you because we saw each other today—this morning.” You turned back to the bartender staring straight at you; he was admiring you so when your eyes caught his, his eyes widened when you spoke to him, “ Give me what she had, on rocks please?”

The hazel eyes went back to its original size prior to him speaking over the loud chattering and music to you, “ Coming right up and just know you have put me to work longer than I expected darling, but I’ll let it slide just this once for a beautiful lady like you.” You eyed him and noticed that he had a mullet and it looked so good on him and him only.

You were about to speak again when Sasha patted your hand with hers, “ Ywor Still hwding on tew mehh.” Her words were more slurred than usual due to your now squeezing her cheeks together with your soft hands. You laughed and threw your arms down, “ So sorry, Sash. I’ll head to the bar on that side and I’ll meet you all when I get the drink you had.”

Sasha yelled out the drink and your eyes widened. You remember drinking that same drink in the past and got wasted off the second go, so you now understood why she was wasted. You watched her laugh all the way until she got to where Maki and the rest sat. Continuing on, you positioned yourself at the end of the bar with pretty mullet boy still in view of you. You needed to get laid and you didn’t want to fuck any of the students, too much feelings and drama come with that. You haven’t fucked since this summer with your old play toy at your old school. God, you missed your old school more than ever now because you would’ve been in a club or party on campus, not a damn bar, especially a bar on a Friday night.

You didn’t notice the two pairs of brown and blue eyes staring at you from where they sat conversing at the table two feet from you. If you did, you would’ve noticed how handsome both men are.

“ Erwin, do you know who she may be?”, Nile asked his best friend. Erwin eyebrows were scrunched together as they took in every frame of your body. You were truly someone he needed. He needed to feel your big thighs wrapped around his waist as he holsted you up against him, fucking into you nonstop. He was surprised at his thoughts and snapped himself out of them by turning to Nile, “ No I don’t know who she is. Maybe she’s new in town, maybe she’s the sister of my new student who didn’t show up in class on her first day.”

Nile eyed you along with him as you thanked Jean for the drink, occasionally watching you take small drinks from it as your eyes scanned the club. It’s like you were scouting for a fuck and what perfect opportunity for Erwin and Nile. They just had to see which one would get to you first. Nile snapped out of his thoughts and turned to Erwin, only to see him not there. He was next to you. Shit, he’s late again. Oh well, his soon to be divorced wife will have to do for now, just until he gets Erwin to share.

You were enjoying the last few minutes alone before you had to go back to your group of people you were partying with until an alluring presence sat next to you with a drink in his hand already. You trailed your eyes from his hand that had two rings on them up until you got to his pretty blue eyes. Blue eyes scared you but he pulled you in. He was a handsome pale man, an older one at that. He was one of your types and that’s all you needed— flashing your pretty smile at him.

Erwin close-lip smiled back at you, sticking out his hand after, “ Hello, pretty lady. My name is Erwin Smith and I couldn’t help but come over to talk to you. You’re new around here, right?”

You nodded your head with a short laugh following, “ Oh, gosh, how did you know? Do I really give off the vibe that I’m lost or something?” You got him at the tip of your finger now, you just had to get him wrapped around the base of the finger.

Erwin took a sip of his drink and brought all of his attention to you, “ Just never seen someone as beautiful as you around here and this town is very little.”

“ How little?”, you replied, wrapping your glossy lips around your black straw, seducing him without even touching him.

“ Like a grape size, little. Still didn’t catch your name, darling.”, Erwin says with a small smirk on his face.

You started to giggle a lot which means you were a tad bit tipsy, so you needed to get laid immediately. “ You smiled and blinked your eyelashes at him, “ My name is { your name}, sir. I thought I told you that, hmm must’ve slipped my mind because I was focused on how sexy you are.”

Erwin smiled at your words and he haven’t smiled like this in years. You made him smile within minutes of you two talking with each other. Yeah, he needs you. He just had one more question to ask you, “ excuse me for asking this question but did you happen to move here with your sister who, by the way, was supposed to be in my class by any chance?”

You almost cackled at yourself because how did you score three points in a matter of minutes. Points of wrapping an men around your finger tonight, scoring an older man to fuck, and if you’re lucky you hope it’s a men in a profession job, preferably a teacher. You noted that you missed your class and he thought you had an older sister and you were the older sister. So you kept up with the lie with a devious smile on your face, “ I’ll only answer that question if we go somewhere quiet, I got a place in mind, what do you say, mister Smith?”

His eyes widened when you finished your question, he never met a woman that knew what and how to get what she wants— he was intrigued. Persuaded. Seduced. Enchanted. So he took his drink down with one gulp and watched you finish your drink, not wasting one drop. You even looked sexy while drinking your drink. You were perfect for him. Everything he wanted.

Erwin stood up and fixed his suit prior to holding out his hand for you to take as he led you to the bathroom. You gladly took it with your purse in your other hand not noticing the pair of hazel eyes staring at you both with wide eyes. He shook his head and walked to his friends greeting them with an arm around Connie's shoulder. He was happy to see his friends but the linger of you and his professor was clouding the back of his mind.

Back to you and Erwin, you both walked inside the one stall bathroom in the middle of the girls and boys bathroom. With the click of a lock, he turned back to you with low bedroom eyes, eyes dark with lust and lust only. Fuck, he needed you badly, Blisteringly when you gave him the look. The look of inviting. The look of want and desire next to the want to be desired.

“ Do you want the answer to your questi-mmph.”, you were interrupted by the feeling of his smooth but chapped lips on yours lips. The feeling of his big hands on your cheeks was everything you wanted and needed, now you just need them around your neck. He held you with so much care for a one night stand of you to be.

Your lips moved against his in a fast pace kiss. The movements of your heads moved in opposite directions as you two started to sloppily kiss each other. Small little whimpers and groans were heard in the big bathroom with the sound of rock music in the back. Erwin broke the kiss to whisper a small, deep “ jump” and you did. Surprisingly he helped you up and walked you to the sink— sitting you on top of it, not caring if you broke it or not, after all his buddy owned the bar.

Erwin starts to trail sloppy and sensually kisses over your face and neck while groping your plush thighs in between his long, slender fingers, “ you’re so goddamn sexy, my little dove. Gonna fuck you so good.” Erwin undressed your bottom half as you undid his belt buckle. He continued kissing over your breast as he trailed his warm fingers up your thighs again. He stopped at your warm pussy with lace panties covering your pussy, “ please grant me access to you, my little dove. Let me fuck you like you never took any cock before. Just… please.”

Your eyes widened as you stared straight ahead as he kissed up and down your chest, he was desperate for you as you were desperate for him. You two needed each other, him more than you. Up for debate right there. You whispered a small, “ Yes, take me. Fuck me because this is the last time you’ll see me.” He hated how you already had your priorities set and straight. What a woman.

He almost tore open the top part of your outfit until you stopped him, “ No, don’t do that unless you plan on spending 2k on this outfit again. Come on old man, you should know the value of clothes and how hard it is to come by nowadays.” Erwin stopped and scoffed at you prior to licking around the shape of your diamond hello kitty necklace your ex rich boy toy brought you, “ This old man is going to take you on a ride for a moment, brace yourself.”

He ignored your statement about the clothes because you were displaying how much of a rich brat you were, his actual type in women. He hated how much his ex mounted that into him or did he just attract rich snobby girls. Who knows. Not like he wasn’t a rich man himself.

With his last statement, he noticed you holding up a condom. Chuckling in response, he mumbled against your skin while bringing out his own, which was a larger size condom than yours. “ Smart girl you are. Not smart enough to carry my size though.” Your eyes widened at the Trojan magnum size condom, his dick was that big. How was it gonna fit? You never took anything that big before. You were breathing hard and Erwin noticed so he kissed you again to ease you up, “ breathe, little dove. I’m not gonna hurt you, as a matter of fact, we can stop at any time.”

The deep swimming pool of lust in his eyes made you more than eager to take him because for some reason you felt he wasn’t lying. His fingers curled under the lining of your panties, pulling them down to your ankles after the help of your hips lifting up to drag them down there. The cold air hitting your warm slightly shaved pussy was enough to make you shiver against him. His hands were freshly manicured and clean so you let him strum his fingers along the opening of your wet pussy.

You whimpered and he chuckled, “ I got you, little dove.” With that, he rubbed your clit in a slow circular motion making you whimper behind your hand. Your clit was so sensitive, always will be. So when the right man knew how to play with it, you couldn’t help but to fold under his touch. Your purse lay in the sink and your phone was vibrating loudly due to Eren, Mikasa, or Maki calling you to see where you went. You felt a tiny bit bad for leaving them unnoticed but you’re occupied with the man of your fantasies right here and wasn’t gonna let this opportunity slip from your pretty fingers.

You snapped Erwin’s shirt open as you two made out sloppily with spit drooling down both of your mouth’s in want. He hurried and shrugged it off before getting back to playing with your puffy clit. One of his fingers pushed inside of you and you gasped at the feeling of his thick finger pumping into you, “ You’re so pretty gasping for me, wanna hear you moan for me now, little dove.” You held onto the sink for dear life, nails could’ve broken from how hard you were gripping the sink on the sides.

Erwin pushed another finger inside of you, earning a whimper and moan from you, “ Please… go fas-uhhh!” Your moans were the prettiest he’s heard since fucking his favorite student and now situationship since she graduated now. He wouldn’t exactly call them to be in a relationship but he proudly says they were in a situationship since she still had a boyfriend.

Erwin curled his finger and watched your reaction to his fingers and God were you beautiful, “ So damn beautiful taking my fingers, now do you want anything else? Tell me what more do you want, little dove? Wanna become my little slut? Wanna be my little whore? Or do you want to be my Angel?”

His words and his fingers twist and curling inside you were making you come undone soon and you didn’t want to cum that soon. “ Treat me like an angelic whore. Your angelic whore, Mister Smith.” He smirked and stopped his movements for a second— pulling his fingers out but it seems like they didn’t want to let him walk away. Once he finally got them out, he laughed and brought them to his mouth.

“ Shit. You taste so delicious, little girl. So damn delicious just like an angelic whore.”, Erwin groans into your ear as he moves to finish unzipping his pants, letting his cock spill over his dress pants. His pre cum was oozing down his hole. Your mouth watered at the sight of his jumping cock— curved to the right with a girth and length that put other men to shame, pink flush mushroom tip with two visible veins running down his cock.

You breathed out a sigh and unconsciously moved your hands to your clit to play with it, only noticing what you were about to do when he gently slapped your hand. He looked at you with a stern look, “ That’s my job, tsk tsk tsk, a girl who doesn’t listen isn’t acting very angelic is she?”

You hated that he was taunting you and right about it, so you nodded your head in response. He shook his head, passing you the condom, “ Go on and put it on like a good little girl. Let me fuck you until you learn how to become an Angel again.” You reached to grab his cock in your hand, trying to wrap your hands around the entire thing, yet you couldn’t with the little inch of space left to connect your thumb to your other four fingers. That’s how much girth he had. He was a monster.

He was heavy in your hand as you grabbed the condom with your hand, seductively looking into his eyes whilst biting into the condom to rip it open with your teeth. You weren’t about to be a bitch and back down from taking the biggest dick you ever seen or had in your life. You then jumped off the sink still holding eye contact with him as you lowered yourself to your calves since you were still in your heels from Saint Laurent.

He watched you with curiosity in his eyes. He watched you put the condom in your mouth, feeling the glossy rubber in your mouth, moving your mouth a bit until you grabbed his cock with your pretty hands. He threw his mouth back when your lips wrapped around the tip of his cock.

He held onto the sink when you moved your head all the way down to the base of his cock, putting on the condom with a few coughs and gags from how full your mouth was. When you finally moved your lips off his cock and stood back up to sit yourself back onto the sink with a finger beckoning him to come over and get you, he knew he needed to see you again. “ You're a dream come true.”

You smiled at him in agreement. He stroked his condom wrapped cock with three strokes. Erwin soon rubbed the tip of his cock against your wet folds causing you to wrap your arms around his neck with a nod of your head. He caught the motion and moved inside of you slowly. You felt the rubber and the thickness of his cock spilling inside of you. The silent moan from you was everything he needed for him to ravish you. “ Never had anything like this, little dove.”

You shook your head and he laughed at you. Laughed at you again when you whined at the feeling of him stretching out your pussy when he thrust all the way inside of you with one go. You couldn’t take it, you thought you could but he was too damn big, “ fu-uhhh-ck, Erwin. I can’t.. I can’t.”

Your eyes suddenly watered and he kissed them away before they could drop down your chubby cheeks, “ I got you, little dove. You can take it.” You felt a surge of reassurance enter you so you wrapped your legs around his waist taking him by surprise as well.

He moved in and out of you once he felt you open up to him a little so now both of your moans and groans were mixed with the faded music in the background. You felt like you were in heaven as he gripped your hips with your fupa spilled over his hand, “ Shit, little dove, just like that.”

Your walls kept fluttering around him as you held onto his neck with a vice grip. He picked you up and walked to the wall. When your back hit the wall you knew you were no longer in control. His thrust began to speed up and slaps were heard loudly dancing along the walls of the bathroom. The grip he had on your ass only added to your pleasure, “ You’re fucking me so deep. S’deep~” the dragged out p’ told him more than enough.

Erwin sucked on your lip as he fucked your harder against the wall. The sound of your wet cunt and his balls hitting your ass was enough to add to both of your pleasures, you earned a groan from Erwin, “ Such a naughty little slut. Letting me, mmmgh!, take you against the wall of a bar bathroom.” He swirled his hips prior to snapping them against your thighs causing his cock to snap inside of your pussy hitting your cervix, more like planting gentle kisses on it. The pace got rougher and faster and you knew he was chasing his and your orgasm.

The snap of his hips did wonders to you, wonders that caused you to roll your eyes to the back of your head with your mouth open, letting out a loud moan. “ Fuck! Please keep hitting that spot. M’gonna cum. Gonna cum.” Once you kept babbling the words cum over and over again with tears pouring down your face and drooling down your mouth, he knew he had you wrapped around his fingers now. His grunts were raspier and he was close to spilling all of his hot cum inside the condom.

“ Fuck, this condom is not enough, darling. So we have to meet again in order for me to feel how great this pussy is. Need to feel your walls around me convulsing and taking me in, ready for me to breed this fat little pussy of yours.”, Erwin grunt in your ear as an ending for his statement. His words turned you in even more so when he kept kissing your cervix, your nails scratched down his back and legs tightened around his waist.

“ Ahhn~ m’cummin. Cumming. “, your moans were loud and anyone standing outside the bathroom could hear you loud and clear even with the loud music playing outside. Your cream dripped down your pussy and onto his condom, making the condom become creamy as still moved in and out of you nonstop. Fucking you through your orgasm. You never knew what that felt like until now and you loved it. But the tears that came with overstimulation was maddening.

Erwin followed suit and thrusted three more times before spilling himself inside of the condom. His neat blonde hair was now disheveled all over his head with drops of sweat pooling around his forehead. His breaths were harsh and loud as he continued to grip your love handles as he held you up against the wall. His trousers were to his ankles and his white shirt was drowned in sweat.

His body stuck to your sweaty body with your panties holding on to one ankle. Your heels were still on and the outfit you had on is long gone. This was the sluttest you've ever been in your life and honestly you loved it. Erwin kissed your forehead as you slipped off of him— just standing against the wall breathing in and out. “ My perfect little angelic slut, you did wonderful for me. The first one to take all of me, so proud of you.”

You were finally getting the validation you always wanted. You wanted someone to feel proud of you, to care for you with want or even love. You finally got it after years of not receiving it from your father or mother.

He pulled out of you and got rid of his condom after he stopped cumming into it. Your juices were sticky on the condom and his fingers. Fuck he wanted to feel that in his cock more directly, but he’ll have to wait a while.

Your legs were still shaking, “ Can you carry me to my car out the back door. Can’t let anyone see me like this. Pretty please, daddy. With a cherry on top.” You pop the p’ and he groaned. Only reason he groaned was because you called him the name he longed for you to call him while he was deep inside of your guts. You slipped your clothes on after sliding yourself from under him while he stared at himself in the mirror.

You had scratch marks on his back and he left you hickeys on your neck. Yet he wanted you to mark him like he marked you. He almost wanted to slap himself for getting too wrapped in already when he barely knew you. Once he seen that you were fully dressed and fixed up which was five minutes later. He let you get on his back and you two walked down the hallway, passed the men bathroom and out the backdoor. You told him where your car was and he walked you there.

He sat you down on the hood of your car before hearing you unlock your car. Once you did, he opened the door for you and placed you in the driver’s seat.

“ Here’s my number, Mr. Smith. I will see you next time right? Don’t really care if I don’t, just wanna make sure.”, You asked, giving him your card you made as you looked at him with doe eyes. Your makeup was a little messed up but that’s okay because he liked you like this. So messy just for him.

“ Yes, we will see each other again, sometime. Take care, little dove. Soak in epsom salt as well.”, Erwin says with a small smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes with a little laugh following, “ Will do, after all I have to prepare for my classes on Monday.”

Erwin's eyes widened and he was about to speak but you pulled off already leaving him distraught. You are a student and he didn’t even know that. Hell how could he when you two don’t know each other. He just hoped that you weren’t his student or a student in high school. He didn’t want a repeat or case.

Meanwhile, Eren, Armin, and Reiner were looking for you, hell even Mikasa and the other girls were wondering where you went and hoped you didn’t get snatched or something. Jean was the only one who knew where you were at but he just didn’t know your name. He’ll find out soon.

Oh there was a horny and crazy storm coming your way as you made your way to your house with a small on your face. The drinks that the girls brought were still on the table as they called you. Guess you were lying about wanting to drink.

Tagging ⋄ 𓍯: @chosoist @honeybleed @simpingfor-wakasa @happygoluckyalexis @neesieiumz @secretanimesimp @mastermindenoshimaalicia @bluupen @zealousblkgirl @babyzzlove @toxicangelsweets @bxrbie1 @haitanifxn @sinsexual1 @jamaicanqueenaa

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leavingsunsets · 1 month

Note

Idia going on his first date with his partner and we just take him to a picnic in the middle of the woods behind the school building.

this sounds ominous... like u just take him... to the middle of the woods.... and on the first date... next thing u know its late at night and ortho cant find his brother... but yes i love picnics !!! :D srry if its a little OOC

"𝖳𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗃𝗈 𝗌𝖼𝖾𝗇𝖾?"

[ᴵᵈⁱᵃ ˢʰʳᵒᵘᵈ ˣ ᵍⁿ!ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ]

"Uh, no."

"Oh, boooo. Why not?" You lean on the multitude of pillows on his bed. One of them was a plushie of you, requested by yours truly. Head all round like ball. You squish it.

"Because, really, out in nature? Me?" Idia lowers his Nintendo, looking at you incredulously. "You're asking the introverted tech guy if he wants to go and eat out in the forest?"

You roll your eyes. "Oh, come on, it's not as if I'm asking you out on a hike."

He sticks his face back in the screen. "Same point, I'm not going out to the woods just for lunch when I can have it here."

A sigh. This was a real struggle sometimes, especially with a boyfriend who's not so willing to entertain such cheesy ideas, let alone even imagine doing it.

"Come on, pleaseeee? It'd be really romantic."

"What, you gonna lead me there with a blindfold too?" He snorts while pressing away at the buttons. You throw a pillow at his head. It hits him but he only snickers and lets it fall.

"No. Its not like it's some sorta secret spot anyways. You can literally see the school from there."

He hums, tilting his head as a victory flashes across his screen. "Mmmmmaybe...."

"What, Idia. What series do you want me to binge with you now."

An excited grin stretches on his face. "Attack On Titan, full 4 seasons marathon. And-" he rolls his chair near the edge of the bed where you lay, "gaming session. My game of choice this time, since you always pick Mario Kart because I KNOW you searched up the cheats for that."

"Proof?" You ask smugly with your head resting on your palm.

"Stop using my tablet to google 'Mario Kart glitch hack combo'."

You click your tongue. "Fine. Deal."

"WHOOOOOO!" Idia cheers, pumping his fist.

. . .

It's quiet. Here you both sat, food and drinks alike between you as you're sat at opposite edges of the picnic blanket. You squint your eyes at the stark contrast between the food he brought and yours.

"....I brought Doritos and monster cans because I thought you'd want them," you whisper, looking at the nice weaved basket beside him.

You grip your 7-Eleven plastic bag in shame.

"Wha- Do you think I'm some sorta junkie??" Idia sputters, gaping at you. "And I baked this all for you, you jerk!"

"Well, you were just so against this! So I wanted to make you more comfy! Er, ease you in the vibe, you know?"

"What am I, some sort of screen addict? It's not like I don't know how to be outside, I just don't like to!" It's like there were metaphorical tears streaming down his face. "What sort of ipad kid do you think I am for you to pull this environment adjustment move on me?"

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry, Idia. It was a little insensitive of me."

"Ortho even hyped me up. He said you were probably going to surprise me with cute kitty cupcakes." Idia says, staring off in the distance with blank disappointment.

You groan loudly. "Ughhh baabeeee, I said I'm sooorryyy!"

"Don't 'babe' me! I made you a nice batch of food in this aesthetic cottagecore basket and you waltz in with two cans and a Dorito!" Grumbling, he crosses his arms, turning to the side. "I'm kicking your plushie out of my bed tonight."

At this point, you just sprawl across his lap, and he still doesn't look at you. "Don't do it, pleaasee," you beg muffledly, "I'll make it up to youuu."

"It's gonna take a lot more than just some sorries for this offense."

"...I'll move my minecraft bed beside yours this time."

"I take it back. Apology accepted."

You lift your head, deadpanning. "So you were still mad about about that?"

"Heheha, yeah I was," he giggled. "So, uh, wanna eat? I think it's cooled by now."

"Oh, yeah," you get up off him, fingers eagerly reaching for the basket. Taking it in your arms, you flip it open, only to pause when you see the contents inside.

"...cute kitty cupcakes?" you mutter in wonder.

"Yeah." Idia mumbles, fiddling with his jacket strings in an attempt to act nonchalant about his growing embarrassment.

It's quiet, and before long, you can't stop the cheeky smile creeping up your face.

"Who surprised who now, huh?"

"You're still on thin ice."

"Okay, okay, I'm eating."

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astrophileous · 8 months

Note

if reader is bug, their son is little bug and their daughter is little bug, what is derek's bug related nickname? or is he disappointed about not having one?

OKAY I personally think Derek's usually fine over not having a bug-related nickname (after all, he's the one who came up with them for his lil family 🥺) but I just imagined a scenario that wouldn't be ooc for him to feel jealous of not having a similar nickname and I hope this is to your liking <3

Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

It was bound to happen.

With how often Derek dropped the sweet nickname for you every single day, you knew that it was only a matter of time before it was bound to happen.

But that didn't mean you weren't absolutely floored when it happened for the first time.

"Bah."

Derek's eyes caught yours from across the room. "Did she just--"

"Bah. Bah."

In front of you, your daughter stood on wobbly legs. Your face was the exact twin of Derek's stunned expression as you saw your daughter pointing her fingers towards you and said--for the nth time that afternoon--a word that made your brain reduce into a mush.

"Bah."

"Is she--" your voice caught around a disbelieving chuckle, "--is she saying Bug?"

As if confirming your suspicion, your daughter took hold of your hand before pressing it to her face. "Bah."

Derek was laughing as he crossed the room. He picked up his daughter and lifted her in the air, earning a series of delighted giggles from the 1-year-old.

"My smart baby. Who's a smart baby? Yes, you are!" Derek cooed.

"We're gonna have to explain to people why our daughter's first word is Bug." You laughed as you watched your husband smother your daughter in kisses.

"Well, we can just tell everyone that we have the smartest 1-year-old in the world. Isn't that right, Baby Bug?"

"Bah."

For the next few weeks, your daughter's adorable murmurs of bah became the new constant in your home. She started learning to use the word as a means to attract your attention. But it wasn't the only thing that your daughter had managed to learn.

"Lil bah."

"That's right, baby!" Your son clapped his hands ecstatically, his sister mirroring him with an exhilarated grin. "I'm Little Bug. Good job!"

You followed the interaction between the two from the couch, a permanent smile on your lips. Derek was lying with his head on your lap when you heard him sigh.

"You okay, Mister?"

"I'm the only one she's still refusing to call."

The pout Derek had on his face nearly made you chuckle, and you probably would have done it if you didn't know just how devastating the whole thing was for him.

"You should take it as a compliment," you said instead, trying to put a balm on his wounded heart. "She only said Bug as her first word because she listens to you so much. She just wants to mirror everything you do, hun."

Derek exhaled another long breath. "Should I find myself a bug-related nickname just so she would call me?"

You snorted. "Like what? Mr. Bugkeeper?"

Derek pinched your thigh. "Very funny. I'm hurt and all you do is make fun."

That last statement of his actually made you laugh. Derek proceeded to grumble something under his breath, but you were too busy trying to keep your bellowing laughter under control to pay attention to it.

From across the room, your daughter suddenly stood on her chubby little feet before staggering over to where you and Derek were lounging on the couch while your son continued to play with his toys.

"Bah," your daughter said once she had reached you.

"Hi, baby."

"Bah." She proceeded to turn towards Derek after that, tracing the features on her father's face with exploratory fingers and a cute curiosity in her eyes. "Bah?"

"That's not Bug, baby," you told her. "That's Dada. Can you say Dada?"

She stared blankly at your face in response.

"Say Dada," Derek encouraged. "Come on, Baby Bug. Say I love you, Dada!"

Your daughter blinked and tilted her head to the side.

Derek sighed in disappointment. "This is hopeless. She's never gonna--"

"Da."

You and Derek both froze in shock.

"Da." Your daughter grabbed a hold of Derek's cheeks. "Da. Wuv yu."

You didn't think you ever saw Derek sit up so fast in his life.

"Baby Bug." Your husband's voice was laden with bewilderment. "Can you say that again, sweetheart? Say that again for Dada?"

"Da. Wuv yu."

The laughter that rumbled from Derek's chest spoke of the greatest joy you had ever seen radiating from a person. He picked your daughter up in his embrace, spinning her around until the baby shrieked in glee.

"I told you it would happen, Mr. Bugkeeper," you said around your own jubilant laughter.

If it were any other day, Derek would have given you a side eye over the ludicrous nickname. But at that moment, Derek couldn't find it in his bones to care.

After all, his daughter had just told him that she loved him for the first time.

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ttulipwritezz · 3 months

Text

King Of My Heart (Body And Soul)~ R. Lupin.

Chapter 3 - Helpless

Ootp! Remus Lupin x Sirius's sister!Reader

Synopsis: When James and Lily died, and your brother was sent to Azkaban, Remus was the only person you had left. Until he left too. What happens when he returns after the events of Sirius's escape, only to find out you have a son? A son that's his.

WC: 2.2 k

Warnings: lots of italics, probably grammatical mistakes, kiss(es), might be ooc idk, child (?), fem reader, italics are flashbacks and thoughts ( idk), love (ew), Sirius is back, mentions of torture, abuse, walburga black, abandonment, fear of feeling helpless, screaming ig, abandonment [ look at series masterlist for all content warnings]

A/n: I am actually so, so proud of this chapter. It's slightly longer than the others and a little more angsty. LOTS of conflicting feelings. Remus is kind of an ass, but no one's perfect :) But I’ll have it be less sad in the next few chapters following ch 4. I think? Thanks for reading and please reblog and/or comment. If you like this :) likes don't do much on tumblr <3

Series Masterlist, Main Masterlist, Navigation

With a furrow of his brows, Remus glanced towards Sirius when the two of you made your way to the dining hall for the order meeting.

If Sirius noticed, he didn’t say anything. Molly ushered the children out of the hall and Kingsley started the meeting.

They began with new information and ended with assigned missions. With your absence from the order for so long, you seemed to be the least informed amongst them all. So far you knew that Kingsley worked for the ministry and was secretly helping lead the order under Dumbledore's guidance.

And that there was an incredibly intelligent woman at the end of the table. Nymphadora Tonks. Don’t call her that though.

The name Tonks was awfully familiar to you. Until it clicked. She was your niece! Your cousin’s daughter.

Oh how she’d grown up.

Along with this, you got to know about Peter’s betrayal and how he had framed your brother. Peter… You really did treasure his friendship at one point. You grieved him just as you had the others. To know that he was a traitor and sent your brother to Azkaban and was partially responsible for your husband's leaving, left you seething, to say the least.

You wanted to crush that thick skull of his with your bare hands.

Noticing your discomfort, Sirius put a hand over yours, so as to say…you’re okay.

“you’re okay. You’re okay” At this point you weren’t sure whether Sirius’s words were meant to convince you or convince himself. His chest rising and falling rapidly to accommodate his frantic state.

Walburga’s yelling could be heard from the other room.

“YOU DISGRACE! YOU IMBECILE! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!” Her yelling did little to calm your trembling and even littler to quiet your sobs.

You do not know what began another one of her scoldings, you don’t remember what you’d done to be on its receiving end yet again. All you knew is that Sirius was punished with the cruciatus curse and you were going to be next. Despite his state, all Sirius thought about was you. How his baby sister was hurt, scared and in so much pain.

That night Sirius left, with you, nothing but his wand and jacket hung about his arm as he led a trembling you out of the house and ran.

That night Sirius ran, he ran till his legs burned. His calves ached and his chest heaved. He ran and ran and ran. He ran to the only place he could think of. He ran.

“Don’t you dare come back! You disgrace to the Black Family name!” Walburg’s words were still ringing in his ears by the time he made it to potter manor, and you weren’t in a much better state yourself.

As soon as the door opened to the frantic knocking, it seemed as though all the adrenaline left Sirius's body and he collapsed right into James's arms. You stood there, eyes stinging, heavy with exhaustion. That was when you truly felt helpless.

The next morning, you awoke to voices. Not the ones in your head, ones from outside. With little energy you opened up your eyes. The brightness of the morning sun blinded you for a moment, and that suffocating feeling came back.

You sat up so fast that your head started to spin. Your eyes were wide and your breathing erratic.

As you were ready to look around your surroundings, ready to see exactly where Walburga had put you again, a hand came into your field of vision. A bruised hand, ready to help.

Sirius gently hovered his hands over your cheek, careful as to not touch you. His eyes held the utmost kindness and compassion. He had woken up from one too many nightmares himself.

“Y/n?” His voice was unsure yet it provided you with the comfort you seeked at the moment.

Your shoulders relaxed and you Jumped forward to embrace him. You were safe, you were okay.

Once most of the order members left, You began to count just how many people will be staying at grimmauld place for the time being.

You had a place further away from this merlin forsaken house. That felt like home. This didn't

You and Regulus had only shown up a couple days ago to tidy up and be prepared. Technically, you owned it, and there was nothing your mother’s portrait that hung in the second floor corridor could do about it. She was dead.

The Weasleys, Harry, Hermione and Sirius were all staying, there was more than enough room for them. What you dreaded was Remus’s presence.

Gathering up all the courage you could, you decided to talk to Remus. No time like the present! Should be a piece of cake!

Wrong.

Remus avoided you every chance he got. And you can’t blame him.

Okay...perhaps you were avoiding him a teeny, tiny, itty, bitty bit as well…

Okay! you were avoiding him fully.

But you can’t blame yourself! It’s hard.

What are you supposed to say?

“Oh hey husband who left me to process severe trauma and grief on my own..you have a KID! He’s 13! You know him already! :D ”

Making faces at your inner monologue wasn’t helping though, because you jumped the moment your eyes caught a figure leaning against the doorway, right arm up against the arch as the other finds purchase on his hip.

Remus.

Remus, your husband, was watching you make faces at yourself to talk to yourself for the past..you don’t know how long.

For a moment you just stared at each other, blinking and making no noise.

Then a smile broke out on his face, which subsequently led to one on yours.

He was the first to break the silence.

“So…How are you?” he pursed his lips after he spoke.

Strange, you considered. That’s how he begins a conversation?

Your eyes move across the room, he’s staring straight at you. It feels like he can see right through you. That he can see the gears turning in your head.

“I’ve met Regulus before…At Hogwarts, I mean. I was his DADA professor.” He says after noticing your silence.

Getting a noise of affirmation from you in return encourages his to speak further.

“Who is he? To you? I know the name isn’t exactly new” His head tilted to the side in the way a kicked puppy's would.

From where you’re standing, in the little light, you can see his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulps, nervousness obvious throughout his being.

You don't lead with “he’s your son”. No. You begin short and simple.

“He’s my son.”

You hope your voice doesn't reflect the fact that a lump has formed in your throat. You hoped your voice wasn't trembling like your hands.

A look washes over Remus's face. One you’d describe as recognition…or perhaps disappointment. In you or himself, that you wouldn't know.

Being from the Black family, you never hid your true thoughts. Feelings? sure, but thoughts? No.

“Disappointed are you? In me or yourself?”

There was a sass to your words you didn't expect. Once again a smile seems to tug at Remus's lips, stretching the scar, you didn't recognise yet, ever so slightly.

“Ever the witty one, my love” his words were airy. More relaxed.

Certainly too relaxed for your taste. There was no way he was so apathetic towards this. Not when it hurts you like a thousand hexes.

“Don't.”

You don't know what gave you the sudden strength, the sudden courage, to stand your ground. What made you narrow your eyes and cross your arms.

What made you suddenly reject the light atmosphere he had created, while you so clearly longed to be in his arms. Heaving a sigh, you continued.

“You don't get to just come back and call me your love. You can't do that to me. Not again.”

Your voice was but a mere whisper towards the end of your sentance.

Not again. That's what you told yourself when you saw Remus this morning. You weren't going to throw yourself into his arms again.

But how could you not when his arms just looked so warm and comfortable?

How could you when you’d spent fourteen years without them?

You were hoping he’d pick up the forgiving glint in your eyes and apologise.

His gaze flickered throughout the room. As if somehow that would answer you. First the lamp, in the furthest corner. Then the carpet caught his attention. Then suddenly the marble countertop seemed oh so interesting.

After what felt like hours, but really must've been a minute, he began to break the silence.

“Right…uhh-”

You watched as he paused, a divot appearing in between his brows, scrunching together, as a look of realisation crossed his features.

“-how old is he?”

The words escaped him with urgency, as if knowing this was extremely crucial.

It was, you just didn't know that.

“He’s fourteen- will be this year.”

Your mind was racing with thoughts, surely Remus wouldn't need to ask something so trivial.

It felt as though you could see the gears turning in his mind. He was so deep into thought.

But then his eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened.

“He’s mine.” He wasn't asking though, despite it sounding more like a question than affirmative.

That, you didn't expect.

And now you were the one who’s gaze was skittering across the room in hopes of finding an answer.

He knows. He knows. Oh Merlin he knows!

“He’s mine.”

Remus repeats, his voice comes out choked. As if he was ready to cry any moment.

Hearing a sniffle, you looked up to see Remus bringing his hand up to his face, which was rather red, and covering his eyes much like a little kid would.

You felt horrible, how could you hide this from him.

No. You did the right thing. He didn't want you. He wouldn't want Regulus either. He left! Awful. Awful! Bad!

“I have a son?”

You could definitely hear the tears in his voice, his light, choked up sobs echoed through the room.

Hey, that's how you reacted when you found out too.

You felt the sudden need to apologise. You shouldn't have to.

“Yes.”

You settled on that. Yes. That's all he needed to know.

A flurry of questions bombarded his mind.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

He looked angry. Why was he angry? He has no right to be angry.

You were furious.

“Why do you think Remus? Why do you think I hid him from you? Are you that daft!?”

An incredulous chuckle accompanied your words. You were seething. And you weren't done, so you continued.

“You left me! James and Lily died! My brother was sent to Azkaban. And you left!”

Your volume was rising by the second. You're certain a little more and the whole house would hear it.

Maybe also hear the sound of your heart breaking along with.

You felt ridiculous. How is he angry at this? He has no right.

“If you’d told me I would have stayed! How long had you known!?”

If you told him.

He wouldn't have stayed for you. He would have stayed for the kid.

Not for you.

“Two weeks before-”

You managed to get out before he interrupted you.

“And you didn't think to tell me!?”

Why did he have to say it like that? Like he hated you?

It hurt.

“I tried.”

Your chest felt heavy as you uttered those words. It felt like a wound had reopened.

Once again you were meek. You felt like a child being reprimanded by their parent. You've had a fair share of that already. You didn't need more.

You felt...helpless.

This was your husband. He wasn't supposed to be angry at you.

Suddenly all the feelings you’d been shoving down came right up.

“No Remus. You have no right! You cannot come back after years and pretend that we are fine! I did the right thing Remus. And I will not have you make me believe otherwise.”

You felt ridiculous. Yet again, he has made you feel small. That didn't happen before.

Remus, your remus always made you feel loved. And seen.

This isn't your Remus.

“I don't know who you are. I know I did the right thing. I know…”

Right?

You shook your head as you spoke those words, you seemed to close in on yourself. Backing away until you couldn't. You can't do this right now.

His words seemed so collected when he replied. As much as they could, when he had been sobbing a moment ago. They still held anger in them.

“But I am his father.”

A gasp echoes through the empty corridor.

Not yours…

Regulus's.

"He is my father?”

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