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philtstone · 8 months

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some pairs: peter/gamora, bucky/sarah, han/leia, aishwarya/vikram

some words: literary, aromatic, windswept, proximity

sarah/bucky, windswept

Two Boots River was not ever a river but in fact a marshy channel that got bogged up by water reeds and slime in the summer season. The residents of St. Bernard’s Parish had called it such before there was a parish for St. Bernard anywhere in sight, and at this point it was a long abandoned fisherman’s route; the overnight shacks lining dotting the route were decrepit and all the best spots for crab traps were infested. No one knew by what, but nobody went there anymore anyway, if they were smart. Unless they were taking a shortcut home, to get back in time for a meeting with a potential investor, which Sarah Wilson had scheduled for tomorrow.

“Fuck,” says the woman in question. “Shit damn. This is what I get for being an idiot.”

She isn’t leaning over the side of the boat because that would be terribly unwise in a gale. It could be a hurricane. Nothing about one in the news, but Sarah wouldn’t bet against that just being her luck.

“Maybe I’ll find those boots,” calls out her companion, over the roaring rainstorm.

“You will not,” Sarah says. She keeps having to swipe water out of her eyes. God, it is terrible out here, and the St. Grace is stuck. She is in one of those positions where she cannot be thankful that they made enough money in the last quarter for her to be able to buy a second boat – not when they could possibly lose it in a freak storm of her own idiocy. “You’ll find a bunch of ghosts, that’s what those boots belong to.”

He eyes the churning muck below them with a detachedly contemplative precision that doesn’t make sense given the hurricane. “It’s not a hurricane,” Bucky says.

“I’m gonna lose my house,” says Sarah, wiping her face again and holding down a rope for dear life, lest the whole thing pick up and fly away. “Please God let my children be in the neighbour’s storm room. You haven’t lived here.”

“I can do ghosts,” he says instead of answering her, and then jumps into the water.

If Sarah were a better person she’d have stopped him, for the sake of his general health. This kind of bog muck in the middle of a storm can kill a person, just as sure as it can get a boat stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere. Sarah throws the line down anyway and swears a bit more to herself because there is no one there but God and the ghosts to hear. After three minutes of the wind’s interminable howling she is sure Bucky Barnes is dead and she has killed him. Then the line goes taut and St. Grace lurches and Sarah nearly falls so hard she breaks her nose.

“Jesus,” she says. They are moving forward, by inches. The braken sludges away around St. Grace’s hull. She’s gonna miss her meeting for sure. “Bucky?” she calls out into the howl of the storm. “James?” They’re moving forward in earnest now. But she can’t really see him. If they’re moving he hasn’t drowned. Sarah is being practical about it.

“James B you better not be dead,” she says.

Bucky pops out of the water about a yard away, black with mud. He’s the wettest equivalent of windswept, like the gale winds were going at him under the water too.

“Fuck,” he says, and spits out muck. The rope is wound tight around his left arm and she can see the strain of exertion in his neck, under the muck. His eyes look frightened by something that is not the storm. Ghosts, probably. The fool. He didn't think, did he. Regardless, Sarah wets her bottom lip, unnecessarily given the storm, and doesn't know why she didn’t fully believe him when he said he'd pull them out by hand. Wildly, for a moment, Sarah wonders: if were her house really to be blown away, could Bucky build her a new one?

But just now his eyes still look frightened -- they are the only part of his face she can really make out -- so she puts that thought out of mind and calls directions out to him over the wind, so they can find safety together.

Blessedly, he hears her.

An hour later they are sheltering in one of those abandoned fisherman’s shacks. Except it’s not abandoned, as there was a can of beans in the pantry and wood for a fire by the stove, also non-moldy blankets closed up in a pretty modern plastic bin.

“I feel like I’m camping,” Sarah says. “Guess I’m not the only person stupid enough to take Two Boots. My meeting …” she sighs, trailing off. She is wrapped in one of the blankets but still has her shorts and t-shirt on, as they didn’t take too much damage under her parka. Bucky’s across from her on the other side of the table, wrapped in the two remaining blankets, which he’s mostly using to cover his left side and damp boxers. They watch his sopping clothes drip slow slow slow onto the floor by the stove fire, together.

“Those are gonna be gross tomorrow,” he says.

“It’s okay,” says Sarah, tired, rubbing one eye and not thinking about it. “I don’t mind you being a little naked.”

She cringes then, because that’s not really fair or appropriate. Bucky came with her because he is technically her employee or something. She’s not sure. Of course he is family, and he isn’t out there superheroing with Sam at present, which he has not called retirement but certainly hasn’t talked much about in a different capacity either. He just showed up one day and Sarah started giving him things to do because Lord knows they needed to be done, and she liked having him around.

She chances a glance at him and he looks mildly amused, save for the traitorous pink flush on his neck, which she figures he can’t help as a white person. Poor thing.

“Sorry,” she says.

“It’s fine,” hasty. “I’m just – the mud brought back bad memories.” She realizes he is trying to apologize for being quiet, which she now realizes could have maybe been read as taciturn or even completely dissociated, but she was so caught in her own worries she really didn’t notice.

“Oh, James,” she says.

“The house will be okay, you know?”

“Will you?”

He grunts. Looks at her a long time. The fire goes on crackling. She looks at the crates in the corner, which hold the engine parts they’d gone to pick up for a little skiff that’ll help St. Grace with the fishing. Sarah is terrible at delegating; someone else could’ve run this route. At the same time, she seems terrible at refusing help lately, too, specific help from a specific person, and it is making her skin itch. Neither of them should be here right now. What if the house blows away? As if to drive this point home thunder cracks outside, so loud it makes itself known through the wind.

“You better not be here because you’re running away,” Sarah says abruptly. Maybe the thunder scared the words out of her. Or the reminder of his ghosts. It’s very hard suddenly to stop herself from climbing over the table and touching him. It would be a grabby touch, the kind that would hold him in place. The thought is embarrassing but Sarah is grown enough to admit to it, and to be righteously angered by the evidence that compels her in that direction, too.

“Running?” Bucky asks. His hair sticks up at the top, in a tuft, where he dried it roughly with the blanket’s edge.

“Cause you’re not out there, you know, but I think you still like superheroing. I think you’ve always been that kind of person.”

That's not the full truth, but the full truth would be callous. And anyway, he can think and understand what he likes about Sarah, too.

“Is this because I said to come with you on this trip?”

“Yeah, Mr. Helpful. Not just me though. Everyone in town. If it was just me I’d say sure, I know the way you look at me, whatever. Men show they like you with all kinds of stupid. But everyone else, too.”

“I’m not a superhero, Sarah.”

“Then what the hell are you, Bucky Barnes?” To me, she means.

He tilts his head and stares at the floor. The light from the fire carves out his cheekbones and lashes and the smudge of bog muck still covering his temple. Sarah is overcome by the urge to cry.

He shrugs. “Family man, I guess.”

“You guess.” Oh. The tears do come.

“Sarah?”

“Yeah, baby.”

“I think I love you.”

Sarah wipes hard at the wetness on her face, annoyed that it is persisting even now that she’s safe from the gale outside. She takes a few deep breaths. “You mean, not just like family.”

“Oh. No. In love, I guess.” His voice has gone terribly soft. “In love with you.”

The fire crackles. The wind gales. They can hear the bell on St. Grace dinging outside where she tosses a bit, even tied down so nicely.

“Yeah? I’m halfway there.” Sarah is surprised by the tenderness in her own voice, considering how this has complicated her world. “Maybe two thirds.”

“I know.”

“So why’d you say it? You could’ve waited.”

“I didn’t know I could. Felt good to say it, I guess.”

“What?” She realizes, “love somebody? Oh my God, Bucky, a blind crab could’ve told me you could love someone.”

He frowns, but there’s humour in his voice when he says, “Yeah, but you could tell ‘cause you’re good at it. I haven’t been any good at it in a while.”

And you just thought to try with me? Is Sarah’s next thought, which is more hateful than he deserves. The wind picks up outside quite suddenly and it feels the shack is about to fly away with it.

“Sarah,” he says again. She does love how he holds her name in his mouth. Sarah gets up and goes over and sits beside him on the chair. It’s not really big enough to hold both of them and their blankets, but they make it work. They both smell. And his left shoulder is uncomfortable to lean her head against, so, after a moment of contemplation, she kisses it instead.

“I’m gonna miss my meeting,” says Sarah, almost in a laugh, and then doesn’t think about much else: the hungry yearning in the room has stopped existing as a ghost. One too many acts of tenderness have breathed life back into it. "Boots are still wet though," she adds, tugging his urgent hands around her waist. The blanket has slipped mostly away from his shoulder now, "yours I mean. Maybe we can split my clothes between us tomorrow."

And it is a silly thought, so they both do laugh, properly this time, like a brighter version of the St. Grace's bell being tossed around in the storm.

#my writing #finally wrote something i like prose wise!#sarah x bucky #fleur de louve #fatws #sarah wilson #bucky barnes #marvel #one word prompts #to this day that last prompt KILLS me. tumblr user ewoktreehouse do u know how many times i have laughed reading it over

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ganymedesclock · 2 years

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Perhaps I’m drawing conclusions from nowhere, but re:that last post: I kind of feel like a big part of the problem is that there has to be a “real monster” at all. I feel like a lot of stories that try to be morally ambiguous fall into this trap, where there can be antagonists who are allowed that gray area only if there is some Bigger Bad who it can all be blamed on. There’s something comforting about the idea that there exists some primal evil that you can hate in an uncomplicated way, rather than being forced to sit with a world where everyone is just as capable of kindness as they are monstrosity, and people have agency in their decisions.

Oh, I mean, the phenomenon I think of as Pinata Evil is a widely examined phenomenon but I think while it runs thickly with "humans are the REAL MONSTERS" they are discrete categories.

Pinata Evil is exactly as you say. It is the ideological stance that a particular villain or threat exists for the specific purpose of being the only reason anything is ever bad in a Good Society that wants to make sure all of its wonderful favorite darlings get candy forever.

Is there social inequality? No! Poor people only exist because King Greedmoney wipes his ass with $10,000 every night. Okay, but then should we examine the system that permitted King Greedmoney to exist and get away with it? Should we take action to understand how this happened so we can't let it happen again? NO. the solution is to kill King Greedmoney and then nobody will ever be poor again.

Pinata Evil isn't, I will say, some kind of inherent writing sin. The reason why it is so popular and widespread is because entrenched, complex problems are unsatisfying. Meanwhile, the idea that we could just punch King Greedmoney and everything will be okay, is tempting. Sometimes, to incite the hope that direct action is possible, it is important to assert, through narrative, that it is worth it to stand against evil. And honestly, most evils we face in our personal life will be some sort of personal adversary- it's having to go talk to your scary boss about unionizing or similar.

Pinata Evil is worth pointing out and criticizing, though, because it's like junk food. It tastes great and goes down really really easily and because just about everybody likes it, we often don't think about what goes into it, or if someone is trying to tempt our opinions.

At its worst, the implicit reward of the pinata- all the 'good' that will presumably leak out into the world if we get rid of this ugly bad guy nobody likes- ends up becoming the driving motivation. This is a line I think, for example, Legend of Zelda, falls across far too often for comfort. In Twilight Princess, we're left to question, what was Ganondorf thinking? What was the actual point of almost anything he did? Why did he, or Zant, freeze the Zoras if the nature of the Twilight means none of them could've done anything anyway?

Never mind that! Every time you fix a bad thing you are directly moving towards opposing him because he is the reason all bad things happen.

(we will not examine the actions that contributed to harm he caused when they were done by Good People, like the Sages tossing him into the Twilight Realm that they knew was inhabited, after they'd started shit with him that the twili had nothing to do with)

By the time we reach the end of Twilight Princess, we have worked ourselves into a fervor of frustration and denial. Why did those cute kids and our hometown girlfriend get hurt? Why can't we spend time with Zelda? Why is Midna cursed? It's All Ganondorf's Fault and we hurt Ganondorf until he bursts open and all the good things are given back to us. These actions are fleshed out enough to achieve their result- to get us full of righteous fury.

Ganondorf is not a real person. I am not arguing his innocence or guilt in a court of law, or what is acceptable to punish him. But I think, as a fake person in a fake environment with fake crimes, he is a great no-stakes place to ask critical questions about in what ways the game motivates us to attack him, and how he is positioned to us as a threat.

It is a good thing to examine, for another example, why people felt so betrayed and angry that Steven did not specifically, explicitly, by his own hand, kill the Diamonds, even though the show went into far more detail than many of its type about how to fix the obvious things wrong with this space dystopia. That the terms of the Diamonds' surrender INCLUDE, hey, don't dominate people's lives like this, hey, don't grow people for a purpose they're not allowed to change, hey, stop violently harvesting the life out of planets.

The harm was targeted and addressed. But there was not a pinata broken as a promise that it will be all good from here on out, that someone was responsible for 'all the world's evil' and we destroyed that person so now there's no evil.

#long post #writing ruminations

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beck-nightengale · 1 year

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Character Ask for Jade the Prophetess

So I'd been ticking away at that old Enderal Character Ask for some weeks and finally had time to finish it, and lordy was that a lot of questions with a lot of answers...

Have some lineart/expressions that my friend (please commission her, she's amazing) did for my girl if you're just passing by:

But yeah. This thing ended up being a lot of words - more words than what is probably necessary (I'm justifying it because she's a novel character that much of her backstory will be re-adapted to, anyway). Even with all of this, there are still a lot of side details left out, but... I figure my Ask Box is open if anyone is curious about any bits in particular.

Grab some tea if you're down for that.

Warning for spoilers (obviously), child/domestic abuse, cannibalism, eye scream, mental illness, addiction, and the usual Enderal fuckery that's on full steam ahead. (I guess this should be a given, but hey you never know.)

1. The basics – name, age, etc…

Her original name was Jehoel Gris. She started using “Jade” shortly after her family was killed because of, you know, Reasons. Distancing herself from her old life, for one. Second, it had come at the suggestion of an old Aeterna woman, who helped her to recover from the injuries she got after the Masked Men tried to burn her alive with her parents. This also prompted her to try to pass as human once she was on her own. Reinventing yourself can be pretty simple when you are already a nobody.

Age-wise, she is 32. Her birthdate is 14th of the Winter Star, 8202. So not very old, but old enough to have Gone Through Some Shit.

2. Describe their appearance.

Thanks to the Aeterna blood from her mother’s side, Jade is pretty dang tall, standing at 6’4” (195cm). Because of this, she slouches when she sits and generally carries herself in poor posture to make herself appear smaller than she actually is. Even then, her attempts are not always successful around those who can recognize the more subtle hints of her Aeterna features or catch a peek of her ears in her hair, but those traits are pretty subdued for the most part. She tries to pass as half-Qyranian/half-Nehrimese, which she might actually be a quarter of both. We just don’t know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also she has freckles on her face, which aren’t always visible on her darker skin (it’s no mystery why her father didn’t believe that she was his child, really). Got some dark as fuck rings under her eyes from chronic insomnia. Her left eye is blind and pearl white in color, with some visible central heterochromia in her right, in which the outer iris is a storm-grey turning light brown/hazel towards the pupil.

3. How do they like to dress?

Generally prefers comfort over style, though she isn’t averse to dresses when wanting to look her Sundas’ best, which is rare. Purple is her favorite color, but she has very few opportunities to actually wear it. Her wardrobe varies a bit depending on the occasion. If she’s ever feeling particularly pretty, she’ll wear some flowers in her hair.

For the most part, she avoids outfits revealing too much skin, especially her hands, arms, and back, and she always wears gloves during her day-to-day activities. Not because she is modest, though...

4. Do they have any markings (scars, tattoos, birthmarks)?

The reason she covers her body with long sleeves and gloves would be the fact that it’s covered in scars. She’s not particularly self-conscious about her body, as she’s been intimate plenty of times without much trouble before. But she does feel that they make most people see her in a certain way (particularly pity or concern) that she would rather deflect more often than not. It’s also kind of hard to spin entertaining yarns about your childhood abuse or the time you barely managed to escape being burned alive by a cult, so she’s more likely to make up lies about where they come from than tell the truth.

Other scars just happen to be products of past scuffles and misadventures during her time as a street urchin and slave. Most notable are the severe burns left on her back, left shoulder, and behind her right leg.

Her face is not so easily covered up, and neither is Jade inclined to. After all, it’s an otherwise pretty face. She doesn’t care for helmets or masks to hinder her vision in the one good eye she has. The scar and blindness came from a particularly brutal incident, back when her father was first trying to teach her to hunt so she could be of more help on the farm. When she failed to hit a rabbit at a distance, he lashed out several times with the lower limb of a hunting bow. After a point, the left side of her face was swollen, and the eye came near to popping out entirely. Though it was salvaged with a combination of her mother’s healing salves and magic (which reduced what would have been severe disfigurements for the rest of her life), the eye remained permanently discolored. This event also may have left Jade comatose with some brain damage, had it not been for her mother’s healing, but it was also a turning point for how much abuse she could take, mentally and emotionally (and elaborated more on in later questions).

The remaining facial scars she has left are from the stitches where the skin had been split open from her father’s other… episodes. Her mother did what she could to heal Jade’s most grievous injuries, which led to her falling so sick with Arcane Fever so frequently that, on many days, she couldn’t even get out of bed. Jade didn’t fully understand the extent of Arcane Fever at the time, however, and just equated the memory with Light magic = bad.

5. What are they like? Describe their personality (use whatever tools you like- MBTI, D&D alignment, astrological signs, Hogwarts house, words/phrases):

Pre-Enderal, she’d probably be chaotic neutral; she did a lot of bad shit, but mostly out of survival. Post-Enderal and lots of character development later, she’s become more chaotic good, where she’s trying to be a better person than she was (or at least present herself as such) while still giving zero fucks about the law.

Moreover, Jade is the epitome of the type who masks their depression and deep loathing towards herself in humor and sarcasm, which seeps through self-deprecating jokes. And you can damn well bet that she hated when the Father called her out on this when she was working with Tharaêl, too. She wears all kinds of proverbial masks in hopes that no one can see the madwoman she fears she truly is.

See, ever since she was a child, she always had a peculiar connection with death, especially after the incident where she lost sight in her left eye… or so one can presume. Whether she truly heard the whispers of the dead or if it was the product of a shattered psyche, it’s hard to say. She kept the frequent visits of voices and phantasms to herself after her mother expressed fear that the girl’s mind just broke as a result of her father’s torment, or that she had suffered irreparable damage from her head injury. Most of the time, the voices she heard would go away on their own if she ignored them long enough, anyway. Since then, she always believed that people would think her mad if they got too close to her, started noticing the little ticks that always make her seem “off” – an ill-timed laugh, a hollow smile, talking when there’s seemingly no one else around. It was very wild how easily folks believed her when she started having her premonitions and experience with the dead after arriving on Enderal.

As an urchin child, she learned how to survive on the streets via thievery and fraud, until she was eventually caught and sold into slavery. The noblewoman who purchased her had taken an interest in her potential in burglary and violence, as she had a knack for both. Jade had no qualms when it came to killing in self-defense, which hardened her when it came to death in general (even though she may or may not have been haunted by those she killed for a time). This skill, coupled with her unassuming appearance and youth, made her an oddly effective hatchet person. If she wasn’t subjected to hard labor (which consumed the majority of her years as a slave), every now and then she was tasked to neutralize “threats” her master suspected of “plotting against her” – she was very paranoid, and a bit of a madwoman in her own right. As she grew into her adolescence, Jade just started seeing the killing as tiresome as any other chore she did, one in which she took neither joy nor despair, provided that she could shut the ghosts out.

6. How would they describe themselves?

“Hi, I’m garbage.”

7. Education level?

Smarter than one would think from a former farm girl, slave, street urchin, and possible madwoman – a fact which she uses to her own advantage, sometimes using reverse psychology-esque tactics by pretending to be dumber than she actually is. Not many would suspect a smooth talker out of her with the way she curses, but she’s maxed out in Rhetoric for a reason. Between her rather crass manner of speech, she can be remarkably well-spoken and thoughtful when it comes to matters she’s passionate about.

During her years as a slave, she was surprisingly given a basic education in reading and writing, which opened up a lot of avenues for Jade as she got older and would sneak some books to read during her rare downtimes. This is also just an excuse for how she’s able to speed read through all those skill books. Like, goddamn.

8. What are they proud of in themselves? What are they embarrassed about?

Jade would be hard-pressed to claim she takes any pride in the things she does, but she has developed the “fake it ‘til you make it” attitude to an art. Think you might be losing your mind? Pretend you’re sane until it goes away or no one notices. :)

Also she has shamefully high confidence in her seduction skills – she knows she’s got a pretty face (blemishes and all) and she uses those assets in her favor. It was especially useful when she was in the market of scamming and thieving, as it was possible to get away with all the gay crimes by flashing that charm and wit.

Of course, her seduction doesn’t always land. Her response to rejection is less than graceful.

9. Do they know any languages other than Inâl?

Some phrases from the Aeterna, Qyranians, and Kiléans she’s met, but not really fluent in anything. Linguistics isn’t her strong suit.

10. What, if any, aspects of their mother’s culture influenced them growing up?

Not much, since Jade was pretty ignorant of Aeterna culture and beliefs. Her mother always seemed to try to put that part of her past behind her when she had arrived on Nehrim as a refugee. Esme was shocked by how little Jade knew about her own kind.

11. Name a song (or a few) that remind you of them.

Oof, it’s hard to name a few, but I’ve got a whole playlist of songs for my Prophetess. Girl With One Eye by Florence & the Machine has always been my anthem for Jade as a character (she’s based off of a protagonist from one of my old novels/D&D character I played ages ago – more on that here if you’re curious), but it is hard to choose between that and Hated by Life Itself, Again, Arsonist’s Lullabye, and Little Talks as her one song.

Her OG!book iteration also had her own official songs (and In My Mind is still pretty fitting for her when you get down to those lyrics, goddamn), so… there’s that, too (and yes, I find the title of her theme to be hilariously and unintentionally appropriate, considering the “canon” ending I go for her Enderal version).

12. Speaking of songs, can they sing? What is their voice like? How about instruments?

Well, she’s no minstrel, but she doesn’t mind humming a tune or singing a tavern song she learned while on the road. She doesn’t have an ear for drums or flutes, but she enjoys strumming on a lute if she gets her hands on one (which may or may not be a residual character trait from her modern iteration, who was a violinist).

She likes to dance as well, despite the fact that she constantly derides herself for it by claiming she has “two left feet” and is overall a terrible dancer. She kind of is, but she likes it anyway.

...I also just really like dancing mods. They give me life.

13. What was their life like before coming to Enderal?

As indicated in previous answers, she was in a very bad way. A fugitive, runaway slave who had attempted to kill her master after reaching a breaking point, and ended up with a bounty on her head that prevented her from living in one place for too long. She did at some point have a few relationships (the longest one lasting three years), but her issues with trust, commitment, and fear of her own sanity rarely ever kept her around the same people. Her first experience with love didn’t end very well, and she’s had not much more than a series of shallow flings ever since.

I do have a timeline of “life events” that I mapped out that I’m still picking at off and on (and will also be adapted to a new novel series), but an abridged version of her life before Enderal can be described as: A walking natural fucking disaster. She had a bad habit of losing herself in drogae and casual sex as a way of coping with the night terrors in her sleep and her questionable mental state when she was awake. Had it not been for Sirius, she would have sniffed dust into an early grave.

14. How did they decide to leave Nehrim?

She didn’t. Her plan was pretty much to die alone in a gutter somewhere in her war-torn homeland. The only reason she left was because Sirius wanted her to come with him to start a new life.

15. Describe their relationship with Sirius.

Tense at first. They met as slaves, and then ran into each other again as runaways, where they were nearly recaptured by slavers. Their captors wanted to cash in on Jade’s bounty, and as such she was more heavily guarded than Sirius – a situation which the two readily took advantage of.

After that, they ended up sticking together. Sirius thought that she needed a friend, even after all of her efforts to try and keep him at arm’s length, and Jade figured it couldn’t hurt to have someone watch her back sometimes. For whatever reason she couldn’t understand, he never gave up on her; he often tried to make her see herself as someone capable of a lot of good, rather than a total lost cause. It just made his death hit that much harder, as she felt personally responsible (elaborated on more in #36).

Initially, she only told him a little about her past out of necessity, due to him frequently waking her up screaming in her sleep. But as they grew closer and developed a genuine friendship, she began to open up to him more in earnest. They were a dynamic hobo duo for eight years, which is the longest Jade ever stuck by someone, so they went through a lot together during their time on the streets.

16. Who do they blame for what happened to their family?

Herself. It was she who sought help when her father’s abuse had escalated to him finally attempting to drown her in the pond outside their home. She only survived because her mother had finally intervened, only to collapse from her Fever. Jade ran off on her own to get help and found some members from the Creator’s Temple, which only led to them condemning the entire family instead. Her sister died when the Masked Men set fire to their house, while Jade was strung up alongside her mother and father. She escaped with her life, but sustained severe burns in the process that left permanent scars.

The reason as to why the Masked Men executed the family is unclear in the game. For Jade’s story, it was because her father’s downward spiral into insanity led to cannibalism during a particularly poor harvest season, in which food was scarce. He murdered a local half-Qyranian man who he always suspected of being the biological father of his daughters, then forced the family to unknowingly consume him. The Creator’s Temple caught wind when more travelers were disappearing near the farm, confirmed it when they investigated the house, and saw the entire family as “tainted”. Thus, no one was to be spared.

At the end of the day, Jade believes that if she never sought help and somehow had just done things on her own, then her mother and sister would still be alive. Since then, she’s struggled to ask for help and would try to do things on her own that she really shouldn’t.

17. Apart from stowing away, have they ever broken the law?

Oh, she was a literal criminal long before being a stowaway. Even if you don’t count the fact that she’s a runaway slave, she’s wanted for the attempted murder of her master, who was starting to get cozy with some members of the Creator’s Temple. That triggered Jade’s aforementioned breaking point. For about eleven years, she’s been a wanted woman, evading bounty hunters and the law alike.

Asides from that, she’s committed several kinds of theft and fraud in order to get by, as her situation in Nehrim made it very difficult to make an honest living. She didn’t mind stealing food from racists who wouldn’t sell to an Aeterna wench, too.

18. How honest are they? Under what circumstances would they lie?

Funny thing about that. Jade is a natural-born liar, and can easily spin yarns to sidestep the truth. This is likely to come up if ever questioned about her scars, where she’d be quicker to claim she got them by wrestling a bear (which is absolutely not true) than she is to share her life story of child abuse and otherwise unsavory life events.

That isn’t to say she’s incapable of telling the truth. Far from it – Jade speaks her mind on many occasions. Certain times she’d make use of that silver tongue of hers would be if the life of someone she cared about was on the line, or if she kept her mouth shut because she genuinely gave a damn about hurting someone’s feelings. Though she has a long history of self-sabotage, she’s got some people that she’d really like to keep in her life right now.

19. Worst memory(s)? Best memory(s)?

Her worst memory was the night her father tried to kill her. We’ve already covered that in 16, so moving on.

Her best memory was when she first took her sister out into the forest to explore some of the prettier sights of Ostian together, escaping the mess that was their home life. I imagine they had a very close bond and Jade was very protective of her, and wanted them both to have moments where they could just be kids together. They made promises to leave the farm and explore the world together. Obviously did not happen.

20. Fight, or flight?

Flight. More often than not, her first choice is to run from her problems than to confront them.

21. Describe their combat style.

Pre-Enderal, dual-wielding daggers or old-fashioned fisticuffs were always her weapon of choice. And she was not against fighting dirty, such as throwing sand in the eyes of her targets, hitting them in their weak points, or kicking someone while they’re down. She was never a heavy-hitter, and preferred discretion to get the upper hand. If all else failed, she’d just book it and run.

Since her magic awakened, she’s taken to Elementalism as her main weapon, namely shock and frost-based spells (her pyrophobia prevents her from dabbling in anything fire-based). She uses daggers – now enchanted – as backup when her mana is low.

Eventually, she delved pretty deep into Phasmalism. Now she prefers to enlist the help of her ghost pals to deal with the close-quarter battles while she keeps a distance with magic.

22. Have they ever killed before? What is their reaction to combat?

Absolutely. The High Ones didn’t call her a murderer because they were being metaphorical. Her first kill was in self-defense when she was a young urchin child, and killing just got easier and easier the more it was asked and expected of her. For the entire decade she had spent as a slave, she had very little qualms about the occasional murder. Her only boundary was that she never, ever hurt children, and she held those who ever did in contempt. It would be impossible for her not to think of her little sister and live with the consequences.

Of course, all the death opened a whole barrel full of trauma for her. Back then, she was frequently “haunted” by those she killed, and it would take some time for her to elude her own phantasms, or at least make living with them more bearable so that she didn’t have to see or hear them screaming all the time. But since arriving on Enderal, the chaos that were once her thoughts have become eerily quieter. Well, save for the visions she now has. Those are new.

23. How do they react to having magical abilities? Do they use them?

After her magical talent blossomed, Jade went hard for Elementalism (save for fire magic), but she dabbled in spells from some of the other classes as well.

The only school she actively refused to entertain is Light Magic. Too much negative association around it after watching her mother’s health deteriorate to Arcane Fever, due to how much healing was necessary in her childhood. Watching the health of someone she loved rapidly decline like that just had a way of wrecking her with guilt.

Since taking to Phasmalism like a fish to water, Jade tends to employ the help of the dead to make up for her particularly lackluster skills in combat. Yera Shadowsong was her first ghost, who she was quite delighted to meet and keep her company on her travels. Others she enlisted were Kilana Hammerblow, Denna Frostheart, as well as the Starling Navigator and Aeterna Ambassador. Having actually known and witnessed the tragic death of Zar’ah firsthand, Jade ended up relying on her the most in future battles, as well as accompanying alongside her on the road when she had no one else to talk to.

Even if the echoes don’t seem fully cognizant of their existence, it nevertheless became Jade’s mission to try and extend them some degree of freedom and compassion. Whether they understand her or not, she finds herself interacting with them as though they were fully realized, living people, in an effort to try and draw out some sliver of their former selves. It’s a work in progress. Somehow it also makes her feel a little more sane just having sounding boards she can vent to when no one else is around.

24. What do they think of Enderal?

Hated it with the passion of a thousand dying suns. As someone who abhors religion, she had to bite back her heretical opinions whenever anyone spoke of the Paths or the Lightborn. After passing the umpteenth corpse hanging from a tree, and imagining that it would only be a matter of time before one of those corpses would become her own, she started trying to find a way to leave the country altogether.

After a point, she did develop a fondness for the land and some of its people, especially after the Nehrimese invasion led to raids and murdering civilians, which reminded her all too well as to why she left her homeland. She may have conflicting feelings about the country, but the common people sure as hell didn’t deserve that.

25. Did they do the Biggest Egg Hunt Ever quest?

Yup. She didn’t care much for the Starling prophecies, but Kurmai asked nicely. It also helped that he paid her and she needed money.

26. How do they feel about joining the Order? What do they think of Arantheal?

Oh, she hates the Order and everything they stand for. Her first instinct upon meeting Arantheal and learning about the Cycle was to get as far away as possible. This brought her to seek employment with the Golden Sickle so she could afford a ship out of the country and, later on, attempting to convince Dijaam to let Jade join her back to Kilé. It was only when those plans fell through, and her witnessing what the Red Madness had done to Mendelus and other civilians firsthand, did Jade return and ruefully accept Arantheal’s offer.

On that note, it did make certain parts of his speech during her and Calia’s inductions as Keepers extremely awkward by making it sound like she sought the Order out of a sense of purpose and duty – she really didn’t. Hell, she even initially told Firespark that she had no interest whatsoever in what the Order was doing. Overall, she finds Arantheal to be insufferable and too self-important for her liking. She never fully trusted him or agreed with his leadership. To her, he didn’t extend aid to the common folk as nearly as much as he should have, including his refusal to make the death of the Lightborn public knowledge to his people.

27. What is their opinion of the gods (or lack thereof)?

Though not one to preach her beliefs (mostly out of what bit of self-preservation she has, as many would deem her views as blasphemy), Jade has a very strong personal hatred for religion and would be, by all accounts, an atheist. As much of an atheist as one can be in a world where living gods have walked among mortals, that is. If you ask her, there is no afterlife, and there sure as hell ain’t no “Eternal Paths” waiting for her when she dies. When you die, you die. The gods have done nothing for her or her family, and her father even used the name of the “Creator” to justify abuse. And so she felt less than nothing when rumors of the gods’ deaths began to circulate, and she felt satisfaction and vindication upon those rumors being confirmed.

Of course, she knows better than to casually share her ideology in a theocratic country like Enderal, but appreciates engaging with other like-minded individuals, such as those who participated in killing the gods like the Nehrimese mages. While she can get along with religious people well enough, she prefers that they just keep their piety to themselves or at least not try to convert her. It won’t work.

Interestingly, she was surprised by how tolerant and understanding Calia was when it came to her views on religion, as she didn’t once try to argue or invalidate Jade’s experiences. This made her appreciate the other woman that much more and start to develop a closer relationship early on.

28. Wine, or pipe?

Pipe. Always pipe. Since discovering Peaceweed, she’s found that the stuff happens to help her sleep and calm her thoughts, so she smokes pretty much regularly now.

29. Do they spare or arrest Hallys, the farmer-turned-bandit in the quest, Deus Ex Machina? Why?

Against her better judgment, she actually agreed with Calia to have Hallys arrested, namely because she learned that he was initially lying about where he got the money from and that he actually stole it from the Undercity’s food bank, which pissed her right the hell off. While she felt for his situation, it didn’t justify screwing over the poor, who were much worse off than he and his family.

Though finding out that he had been executed at the gallows so soon after made her regret that decision. To her, that wasn’t justice, and it sure as hell didn’t endear her to trust Ark’s Tribunal to handle similar situations afterward.

30. What are their feelings and opinions about the Undercity?

It feels a little too close to home for her, as she often lived in similar piss-poor conditions when she was homeless. Like it shouldn’t exist, but it does, and she understands why and how all too well. From time to time, she’ll hand out coin and food to the children running errands or just looking like they need some help.

31. How do they react to the beggars of Ark?

When she has the coin to spare, she’ll sometimes offer some pennies. And she’ll always pay a kid delivering a message whether they ask for it or not. It wasn’t too long ago that she was in the same boat, and appreciated what little a passing Samaritan could provide. She got that Gift of Charity perk.

32. Where and how do they spend their time when in Ark?

Early on she started visiting the Undercity because she likes mischievous things it felt more familiar to her. Plus she found a small little hiding place tucked away for when she feels the need to abscond from “civilized” society. While down there, she frequented the Dust Pit to watch the fights, not really phased by the brute violence.

On the surface, she spends much of her time in taverns when she has coin to spare or feels like hanging out with Jespar. She also spends time with Calia in the bathing house or hanging out in the courtyard of the Sun Temple in between missions, since Jade became was quickly taken by Calia and wanted to help her open up more, all whilst getting to know the other woman better.

33. What would they do with three wishes?

I did the wishing well quest after finishing Angel and All the Dead Souls, so I imagine the first wish was for Calia not to leave her, the second was for Jespar not to hate her for the shitty things she said back at him. The third was for a sweet new dagger. Guess all three technically came true.

34. How do they feel about death? Do they fear it?

Death is a natural cycle of life. For the last handful of years, she was fully ready to die, anyway, and believed that there was no great afterlife or paradise that would follow. In more recent times, she’s become quite fond of being alive, though she wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice her life to save the ones she cares about.

35. What (else) do they fear?

As mentioned earlier, she has a profound fear of fire, and actively avoids using flame-based magic despite being very proficient in Elementalism. At most, she’ll use fire-enchanted daggers.

Additionally, she has developed thalassophobia to a degree since being shipwrecked, feeling anxious around large bodies of deep water, and a dislike for swimming. I kinda headcanon that she never even met Nessah/Sister Pride when working with the Rhalâta, let alone took her heart, because it required her to dive underwater for a long period of time, so she had no qualms with bringing a different heart to the First Seer instead (not that Jade would’ve killed her. She found Nessah’s notes, and she wasn’t about to execute a woman clearly suffering from mental illness for a group she didn’t care about). You can also bet that she noped right out of the Brotherhood of the Kor questline as soon as it required a “breathe underwater” spell to delve into a submerged temple. So yeah, she just told Mirella, “Sorry, lady, your son is dead” because it was the most likely truth, anyway. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Above all else, however, her greatest fear is insanity – a fear that the High Ones exploit the hell out of by constantly making her question her perception of reality and whether or not this all is just a fever dream of her dying consciousness. It helps very little that she already had a predisposition for madness, never knowing if her “connection with the dead” was real or a byproduct of her trauma. Remembering how her father descended into madness and cannibalism has a way of making her doubt her own sanity.

36. Do they have any secrets?

Quite a few doozies, actually. Prior to coming to Enderal, Jade had an addiction to dangerous drogae. And it was because of this addiction that she ended up in the situation she is in now, a fact that she is all too ashamed to admit to anyone. Even worse, she blames herself for what happened to Sirius because of this fatal flaw. Not only did she have proclivities for blowing whatever scraps of coin she earned to feed her addiction and other bad habits, which could have gone to paying for a ship out of Nehrim, the only reason Sirius chose to stow away with her, rather than sign on to the crew like a right proper lad, was to keep an eye on Jade while she went through the motions of withdrawals. He also stowed away with her to make sure that she didn’t get caught screaming in pain or waking from night terrors.

Similarly, signing onto Rocio’s crew wasn’t an option for Jade in the first place, due to being a runaway slave with a bounty on her head for the attempted murder of her former master. Despite trying to push him into leaving without her, Sirius refused. And now he’s dead. It’s impossible not to feel responsible for that, and for robbing her friend of the second chance at life that he so badly wanted.

Since becoming an Emissary, she’s found that her addiction has been miraculously “cured”, though she still gets uncomfortable around heavy drogae such as Glimmerdust. This resulted in her snapping back at Jespar in the Silver Cloud when she caught him using the stuff. Despite knowing what he was going through, Jespar wasn’t the only one who said very regrettable things that evening.

In addition to substance abuse, she also keeps her history of mental illness to herself, ashamed of what others would think if they knew she might be mad. Much of her prior ticks and instabilities ended up troubling her less and less once she became her “idealized self” on the shores of Enderal, anyway – the voices are dulled, and her mind feels a little more at peace these days.

While part of her felt that she should be grateful not to have to wrestle with her addiction or madness every day, the implications of a sudden recovery after losing her only friend scares her more than anything. For now, she has never shared this secret with anyone, not even her new companions.

37. How is their behavior around people they like? People they dislike?

Jade is very blunt and open about her feelings and has been noted to say whatever’s on her mind by more than one person. This can be for good or for ill depending on who she’s with – if she likes someone, she has no qualms blurting out the things she likes or finds attractive and appealing about them, or telling them what she feels they need to hear. If she doesn’t like them, then she’ll still speak her mind regardless of whether or not it hurts their feelings. She may even come off as abrasive or just downright rude. If her dislike runs deep enough, she won’t want to be in that person’s presence at all.

38. What is their relationship with the companions? Who, if anyone, did your prophet romance?

There were a few she became close to – some more than others.

Jespar: They got along pretty quick, since they shared very similar views on life, the Lightborn, and relationships. Jade has had Romance Gone Wrong in the past and didn’t quite want to see Jespar that way at first, either. It may or may not have helped that she made quite a few passing comments and propositions with him that amused him a bit. I headcanon that they had some FWB-type flings and then just never talked about it again, because Jade has her own hangups on relationships and monogamy. There were some feelings there on both sides, but were never realized until it was too late. (Side note: She decided to give him her own affectionate nicknames, such as “My Lord” because he kept calling her “Fair Lady”, and “Snowberry” because of his hair and he’s a goddamn fruity boy.)

Calia: Conversely, Jade just couldn’t resist and caught the feelings here. She tried to push them down until they died, but she grew more and more fond of her friend as time went by. It helped brighten some of Jade’s more cynical views of the world knowing that people like Calia existed, and wanted to change it for the better. In a sense, the two complimented each other in helping the other learn to enjoy life the way neither of the women allowed themselves to. In the end, she romances Calia, but I like to think they had more in-depth discussions on relationships and where Jade stands with them before they made things official. Due to her own struggles with her sanity and being constantly at war with what darkness lives in her own mind, she related with Calia on a very personal level, which became the foundation for their relationship to grow during and after the game’s main storyline.

Dijaam: Immediate crush, oh no. Jade worked with the Golden Sickle prior to accepting Arantheal’s deal, and maybe in no small part due to her weakness for Kiléans, Jade ended up being very smitten with Dijaam (while also quickly becoming very resentful towards her current employer’s “Path abidingness”, misogyny, and racism). She admired Dijaam’s determination and drive, and even suggested that they leave Enderal together. Too bad the Kiléan pulled the “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” at the end of the day. Oh well. Not the first time that’s happened to Jade. (Dijaam is probably still alive somewhere out there.)

Esme: Like a younger sister. In fact, Jade suspected her sister would’ve been around the same age, and turned out much like Esme if she were still alive. When she first met the fellow Aeterna woman having a hard time at the Frostcliff Tavern, Jade was immediately inclined to lend a hand. The two became closer throughout their search for her former companion, and though Jade feared the worst after a while, she didn’t want Esme to lose hope that she would see Tara alive and well. When the truth came to light, Jade did her best to comfort Esme. Before they parted ways, Esme gifted Jade a family heirloom – an amulet, which she continues to wear thereafter. (I also like to think that Esme was able to find a ship to leave Enderal before the end and is still alive.)

Tharaêl: One of her deepest regrets. To say that their relationship was turbulent would be an understatement. Much as Jade was on board with his cause to kill the Father for experimenting on and murdering innocent children, she grew equally frustrated with Tharaêl’s hypocrisy and uncompromising demeanor. Witnessing his regression to his childhood trauma was also not much unlike episodes she once struggled with, which made her try to empathize with him more. Killing Zar’ah was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her, however, as she did not believe that the mercenary deserved to die and that Tharaêl’s justification for it was bullshit. Still, she resolved to help him kill the Father, who was much worse in her eyes. But, when at that cliff’s edge, she could not bring herself to tell him the right words that could have saved his life. It is a moment that still haunts her long after his death, as she realized some time later that they were not much different. Her silence was his death knell.

39. Was there any non-companion character that they were close to? That they particularly disliked?

There was a quick connection when it came to Merrâyil and the Nehrimese mages, the former due to their shared history as slaves and experiences being Aeterna in a country like Nehrim, and the latter for their shared disdain towards religion and feelings about their homeland. When visiting the Sun Temple, she spent quite a bit of time with the group, particularly pestering Firespark and hanging out with Lishari. She was also deeply affected by Rynéus, as she saw much of her little sister in the boy and wanted so badly to save him. Failing him was like failing her sister all over again.

As for dislikes, she couldn’t stand Maél Dal’Loran, even if she found some of his deeds, such as providing support to the Undercity’s Pest House, to be noble. To Jade, Maél as a person was judgmental, racist, and plain impossible to work for. She ended up resigning from the Golden Sickle after gathering the ingredients he had requested. It doesn’t help that Jade’s first love was a Kiléan woman (not Dijaam), so she was not endeared by his anti-Kiléan sentiments.

40. How do they feel about myrads?

Though flying one for the first time freaked her out, she was immediately enamored with them. They’re majestic, adorable, and worthy of adoration and respect.

41. What dreams or ambitions did they have before coming to Enderal? What about afterwards?

Literally none. Her “dreams” were to crawl into a hole and die somewhere alone, until Sirius had convinced her to try and find a second chance for herself in Enderal.

Afterwards, she decided to just play it by ear. Her wanderlust developed the more she learned about other countries, and she decided she wanted to travel the world someday. Maybe use her newfound Arcanist abilities for good by saving lost souls with her Phasmalism, and figure out a way to rehabilitate the echoes into regaining their sense of self, rather than merely being slaves to the Phasmalist.

42. Do they like cities? Or do they prefer the country? Is there a region of Enderal that they like or dislike more than the others?

Despite always struggling with the noise and chaos of cities before, Jade had to adapt to them at an early age in order to get by. After a point, it just became a necessity, as cities were the easiest places to find places to make money.

She did learn to appreciate them more, to an extent, finding herself people-watching when seeking potential jobs (or marks). But if she could so choose, she would much prefer to live in the countryside.

43. What do they do to lower their considerable stress?

Staring at the underside of a desk until she feels better after a mental breakdown. :)

For real, though, some coping mechanisms are less healthier than others. Some times she’ll blow off steam by practicing her magic, or venting to one of her Phasmalist ghosts (especially Deanna, Kilana, and Zar’ah). Others she’ll get blackout drunk and end up in strange places (or strangers’ beds) she doesn’t remember going. Casual sex sometimes helps, too. Sometimes.

More recently she’s taken to smoking Peaceweed on the regular, which she finds calms her down a good deal. This method is marginally better.

44. Describe their perfect day off.

Dragging Calia out to more social situations, such as playing cards together with Jespar at the tavern (while Jade resists the urge to use her sleight of hand to pull fast ones on the group). In general, she just wants to spend time with her favorite people together. Other than that: Enjoying scenic locations with companions, such as beautiful sunsets, aurora borealis, and peaceful scenes off the beaten path. She absolutely loves Goldenforst. Anytime she can get a hot indoor bath, especially with Calia, is also a good time.

45. List three of their favorite things. Three things they hate?

Loves: Peaceweed, good brandy, animals (she really doesn’t have a particular favorite kind, but she does cry a little inside when a rabid wolf or fox forces her to kill it).

Hates: Cooking meat, swimming, and fire. For obvious reasons.

46. What’s in their pockets?

She gonna pop some tags,

Only got twenty pennies in her pocket–

...

Just a lot of junk, really. Don’t ask how many Endralean sugarbraids she has stuffed in there.

47. Pets? Mounts? Treasured possessions?

Two cats that are more like strays squatting at her house when she first bought it, but she doesn’t mind; she enjoys their company.

She also has a donkey she named Butterstuff and she loves him even if a big Aeterna woman does look kinda silly on a wee donkey.

For treasured possessions, she almost always wears the heirloom Esme gifted her. She might have a bit of a hoarding problem with useless junk, but that amulet is pretty and it means something to her, dammit.

48. How are their cooking skills?

Not good. Most of the stuff she makes is cheap and quick since she could never afford anything fancy before. She can make a decent enough vegetable stew and flatbread, but it doesn’t get more gourmet than that. Either she eats things raw/plain while on the go or she buys much yummier food while passing by vendors (love, love, love those date cakes).

49. Do you consider any particular quest or side quest to be definitive for your prophet? Which one(s) and why?

Other than the big faction ones like the Rhalâta and Golden Sickle: The Voice in the Water is an important quest for Jade, since it kind of explores her (possible) “experience” with the dead by just how natural it felt to be guided by a ghost that she knew wasn’t a product of her insanity. She felt particularly invested in helping to put the spirit of Pentas’ wife, Nira, to rest by seeing the ones who destroyed her life to justice. This quest opened Jade up to the possibility of being able to help people with her new gifts.

A Touching Effigy is also a good one, given that certain elements catered to some of Jade’s distaste for nobles and child killers. Ultimately she sided with Andrasta, because she can forgive killing useless nobles, but not Rhys for killing children in the name of his religion. Though she did (kind of) convince Andrasta to hold off on the murder for a while, mostly so she doesn’t get caught and worry her daughter. Never said Jade’s morals weren’t questionable.

50. How forgiving are they? For example, if they were yelled at in a brothel after searching high and low for this little sh*t, how would they react?

She can forgive well enough if the other party expresses genuine regret for their actions. For example, she easily forgives Jespar because she understood what he was going through, and she was just as much a little shit at the time (and was already tense being around Glimmerdust and a very high, very distressed Jespar). Really, she has a higher tolerance for friends who verbally lash out in the midst of their emotional turmoils, because she gets it – really. Jespar and Calia? Yeah, she got them. If it’s one thing that Sirius taught her, it’s that you don’t give up on friends, not even on their bad days.

There are few things that she just can’t and will never forgive. From her perspective, anyone who has ever hurt a child is the literal scum of the earth. Because of this, she was unable to think of the right words to save Tharaêl, just like how she failed to convince him to spare Qalian because she just couldn’t. And if she had done what Tharaêl had done, she knows that she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself, either. Maybe she could forgive Tharaêl someday, but she could never save him.

51. What do they think of the Veiled Woman?

Initially she really, really hated the Veiled Woman. Hated what she did to Sirius, hated what she did to Esme and Tara, and especially hated that oracular bullshit way of talking in the same vein as the Aged Man.

While she never could fully understand the Veiled Woman, Jade wondered if her motives for doing what she did was because she had some hope to end this particular Cycle. For that reason, and giving humanity a chance, Jade can’t bring herself to completely hate the Veiled Woman, either.

52. If they had been a victim of one of the black stones, how would it have affected them? What would they have used its power to accomplish?

Oh no, a black stone would likely amplify her pre-Enderal (possible) insanity. It would twist her sense of justice for the dead by turning her into a Phasmalist who would abuse the specters she wanted to protect by outright enslaving them, all for the “greater good” when it came to punishing those she deemed evil. Essentially she wouldn’t have been much better off than Adila, except with more actual dead souls at her disposal.

53. What was their reaction to the Black Guardian’s revelations? Do they accept or reject his offer?

Man, she shut the Black Guardian down faster than a speeding ticket. First of all, because she believed he was full of absolute horseshit, such as claiming the High Ones were powerless despite their ability to directly possess others through more than just the Red Madness. Second, she saw through his manipulations, sensing that eons in isolation several leagues under the earth while watching civilizations rise and fall would have various ways of fucking with your head. Like knows like, and Jade has an intimate understanding when it comes to madness. Moreover, she knew a delusion of grandeur when she saw one.

More than anything, though? She had literally zero desire to become a “god” as the Black Guardian had defined it. Due to her hatred for religion and the Lightborn, she refused to become the very thing she so despised. From where she stood, she didn’t even believe there would ever be such a thing as a “humanity with no ego”, as it would be impossible for her to control the hearts and minds of an entire civilization. Even if she could, she wouldn’t want to, since freedom of choice is important to her. In her mind, she thought it was better to give the current human race a chance to learn from the Order’s mistakes and remove the High Ones from the game for good, rather than lead a new civilization down the same path and just repeat the Cycle all over again. The Veiled Woman must’ve seen that there was some worth in this world if she had intervened when she did.

Ultimately it was one of the few times where her “fight” superseded her “flight” instincts. Jade also didn’t act super surprised when the Black Guardian revealed that she had been dead since she woke up in Enderal, because she kind of figured it out already (or suspected that she was just balls-to-the-wall crazy this entire time). She just didn’t know what to make of the whole truth that she was a projection the High Ones created to perpetuate the Cycle – other than to keep fighting it.

54. How does their story end?

Bittersweet. While she consumed the Dreamflower elixir before the end (and didn’t agree with Yuslan’s very random interpretation of the elixir’s effects), her choice still came at a great cost. She lost many friends in the destruction of Enderal, including Jespar. Now she and Calia are on a mission in Qyra to try and save the rest of humanity together.

Since there’s a possibility that Dijaam and Esme are still alive after their questlines, I like to think that they run into each other in Qyra at a certain point... because fate or some shit. The idea of a story where these four women (and the ghost of Zar’ah who totally became Jade’s main backup. Maybe she can finally figure out how to make Phasmal ghosts more “alive” someday) band together to save the world just delights me.

55. Do they change over the course of the story? In what ways?

For sure she does. In the beginning, Jade is a cynical, sarcastic little gremlin who doesn’t trust anyone any farther than she can throw them. She’s the very definition of the Reluctant Hero who doesn’t accept the big main quest immediately, and even tries to run away from her responsibilities the first chance she gets. It also doesn’t help that she was absolutely terrified at first with how her little “ticks” and addiction were just miraculously no longer plaguing her as much anymore, so she was already starting to question her own reality.

As Jade got to learn more about the people on Enderal and form actual friendships throughout her journey, her fondness for this world and desire to save those that live in it grew. While part of her was in the “oh, well, let the world burn” camp, she became that person less and less as time went on.

In Qyra, much about her changes as well. She becomes more driven and serious. Calia had to cut off most of her hair while rescuing her from the rubble of Ark, so not only does her hair stay shorter after that, she also no longer attempts to hide her Aeterna features (such as her ears) like she used to, mostly out of respect for the Jade who died at sea. Rather than slouching to try and appear smaller, she stands tall. The particular “treasure hunter” garb and the blue scarf she wears are little things to honor her memory of Jespar, to whom she had promised she would do her best to save humanity.

But her nightmares become significantly worse, as they are now frequented by a certain “incomplete” High One that takes the form of the Endralean civilization that fell prey to the Cleansing…

56. Anything else you’d like to share about them?

As implied in the last two responses, I had this nightmare fuel concept up my ear not too long ago: What if the Cleansing triggered on Enderal did give birth to an incomplete High One, but now it’s pissed that it never got to finish and is trying to meddle in the efforts to reconstruct the Beacon successfully? The idea of a High One actually consisting of your former allies, including the companion that didn’t survive, is just a brand of horror that I can’t resist… Not to mention really sticks a fork in Yuslan’s theory about the Dreamflower trapping you in an “Elysium where everything seems to go your way” (really, I think he was just trying to dissuade the protagonist from brewing an elixir that would obstruct his plans for revenge. I like to imagine he simply came up with the dream theory on the spot because the flower had “dream” in the name, so it was like the first thing he could think of).

Inevitably, a branch where the Endralean High One is trying to drive Jade into a Mad Prophet would throw a wrench in her and Calia’s efforts to save the world, and they’d have to go through the wringer for their romance to survive. In the end it will, but there’d definitely be some trials and tribulations in which Jade will one day have to open up about her well-guarded secrets. She would also be driven to try and save those who were consumed by the Endralean High One, whatever that may entail.

…I may or may not write an actual fic on this concept someday because I love suffering, but it has been so long since I have ever written a fic so who knows. You’re welcome and I’m sorry.

#jade the prophetess #enderal forgotten stories #enderal #vynblr #word vomit #friend's art #backstory #that hidden jade lore #for all my shitposts jade's story is REALLY messed up #it's ALWAYS been messed up even though it's evolved over the years #i miss her modern day iteration but idk if i'll ever go back to it once i've adapted her into bloodtithes #but yeah she copes with bathos #and weed #and pussy everyday

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gayspock · 4 months

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ok 1 menty b for me

i dont know. i think its just always been so alienating. i think theres something wrong with me and its unfixable. and sometimes, if i cant have anything else, i just want at least the fucking chance to express that without people thinking even less of me. and ik in reality nobody even gaf or sees me. but i also know know that if they did, 9times out fo 10 people would be rolling their eyes. whatever. idk. i feel so lonely and i dont think im ever not going to be lonely and its never going to get better because even when given the resources, the opportunities i just can never manage . i just cant . i swear i try . but every single time. my whole fucking life . i just walk away from everything with even less, it feels like. and its getting so much harderand harder. and i dont know how to express it liek ... i fucking feel myself SEETHE as ppl keep insisting "theres still a chance! there's still hope!" like sure bro. but i dont want to fucking keep living my life along the fucking asymptote of getting consistently closer to dying alone but "haha technically its not a certainty" and . like theres just something so fucking repulsive about me and i just cant seem to fix it no matter what. and im so exhausted all the time. and i genuinely dont think theres any way out of that . i go to work and i come home so burnt out and tired. and people are nice there but i dont think i can really connect with anyone . i just cant seem to get close to people . and i dont have it within me to meet anyone else because im so fucking tired all of the time .

and even if i did and i mustered all the energy and spent all the little time i had left in the world i dont think theyd have time for me. not just bc nobody in their 20s does but also because i dont know . it just never seems to work . and i cant do it again where i try to invest every little piece of me into it when its jsut always left me fucking miserable and pathetic. bro do you know what i mean. not to be 16 and lame as shit still. i feel like im always the idiot ppl take pity on at best . i dont think ive ever been real to anybody. like alwaysssssss...... and even now i feel like every time I HAVE existed within circles of others. its literally 10 times out of 10 just constantly fighting to be included and seen as someone whos not a fucking joke and i just feel like such a fucking . loser for caring so much about it when. REALISTICALLY. pretty much all the people ive met in life will have forgotten i exist. and ok. ok. i just dont think ... like its not like some trait within me right like ... im not As melodramatic to be like oh . oh theres an actual innate trait within me thats activated and stops people liking me. just. the contrary like. i just think theres nothing within me to actually like . or to gravitate towards. so likeyeah sure . that makes sense. why WOULD you want to bother with someone whos just kinda hollow or whatever.. something something or other. and i kind of wish i was more resilient about tht. but i jsut . i guess as is a Guy of that Nature, its just ... im trying to fucking not fucking spiral but i just feel myself fucking filling up with fucking . miserable SHITTY bile or whatever because i just wish i felt normal or whatever. its such a fucking human fucking thing that other people can MANAGE. but i cant . its so so fucking hard and i cant do it and i cant handle it. and i just feel so angry sometimes anyways . bc i hate it . and i keep trying bc i wanna make peace with it because i know theres no out . like ive long since given up on ever thinking its going to work out . because nothing fucking helps but makes it so much worse . anyways. i dont know. but i dont know bro. it drives me fucking insane when people always spout some bs about how "haha everyone has someone! everyone will find someone! like no they dont no they wont . its so .. so much more isolating. or like "EVERYONEEE feels lonely sometimes" like HOW does that help. HOW. and it makes it so MUCH FUCKING WORSEEEE when people tell you about how lonely they are too!!! like cool . i dont have a chance then. sorry i know thats such a bitter bitch thing to say. but idk if it rlly matters like ... at the end of the day idc when ppl have partners. or people they talk to. family who loves them. and youre still lonely. cool. thank you for letting me know, dude. go back to the people who will look out for you and love you whilst i sit in the dark and not speak to anyone for weeks whilst not a single person would even notice im gone .

or like. bro. i dont think a single person has taken me seriously for long enough to ever fucking like me or hold me in enough regard to like... want to talk to me again nevermind like be with me in a certain sense so i jsut. i dont know. sits alone. every fucking day for years maybe. i dont know. i feel so fucking sad and angry knowing deep down that i can know all this and know its true but even then . i cant even have that . people wont even take THAT part of me seriouslyand think im just some fucking idiot whos not even trying. when i really reallyhave but its just so... worthless it feels like . it feels like im never getting anywhere and everyone thinks i just gave up when i didnt. and i dont know. thar makes it sound like people actually see me and really are laughing or something when i dont think its nearly that much. i think its like oh people see me make that as a snap judgement and i fall out of existence again. and i dont know. it shouldnt matter but i feel so fucking strung out and exist between these instances only and idk. idk bro. im trying to be okay with it. but as im getting older i just feel like theres so many more things that are revealing themselves as worse and worse. and im going crazy. im going crazzzzzzyyyy . whatever . insert the mental breakdown gifs . the funny ones where those guys aremoving really fast

#egg.txt

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foulbearobservation · 1 year

Note

ios seal will definitely be haunting my dreams lmao

anyway 👉👈 spare hitman au? perhaps? (no pressure!!) -🦭

ask and ye shall receive, under the cut cause it's kinda long actually

"You got lucky that the Left Hand did not see fit to deactivate an agent such as yourself." Mother Superion is saying as she leads Lilith down an ever turning number of sterile white hallways.

"I am skillful, not stupid, Mother."

A long silence. "Even so," she says, saying a thousand things with the way she drawls her words, "your new handler awaits." Superion opens the door to reveal what seems to be a dark empty room.

"Has anyone ever told you that this is inhumane? It’s practically cruel and unusual punishment, throwing someone room where they’re the only one’s without night-vision." Lilith sighs, taking the small earpiece from Mother Superion’s outstretched hand.

"Humanity is a luxury that we do not have time for. Good luck, Agent."

Lilith steps into the dark. She doesn’t even bother to open her eyes, it won’t do her much good in the pitch blackness. But she can hear the faint rustle of bodies around her but nobody is moving, not yet. Their handlers have not given them a command either.

"Hello, Agent." A woman's voice, fairly high and faintly accented, speaks in Lilith's ear.

"Skip the pleasantries, I'm locked in a dark room with an unknown number of hostiles. How are you gonna get me out of it?"

There's the telltale sound of a keyboard rapidly typing then, "clock system, yeah?"

Great, Lilith thinks, another nerd. "Just tell me to go low or high."

"12 o'clock, 5 meters, run forward and dodge to the right when you can feel his breath."

Lilith cracks her knuckles. "Sure hope you don't suck at your job."

"I sure hope you don't suck at yours. Start running, agent."

Lilith charges forward, trusting her senses and the voice in her ear. The violence in her job is easy, second nature by now, but trusting the voice in her ear? That’s where she struggles. She knows, she’s seen the red papers in her dossier, she’s been to the psychologist more times than she can count. She trusted Beatrice proved she could be trusted. This new voice is just that, a voice, and Lilith doesn’t do well with change.

She charges forward, dodging to the right when she hears a sharp intake of breath in front of her. She throws a foot out and it seems like she catches the poor sap off guard, sending him tumbling to the floor. She continues forward, because the voice didn’t tell her to stop yet.

“Slow down, you’re entering the obstacle course now. Reach your left hand out, two o’clock.”

“You didn’t have me fight all the hostiles?” Lilith hisses out, but still obediently reaches out her left hand. Almost immediately she feels the cool metal of the climbing bars.

“Why would you waste time fighting in the dark when you could be in and out before anyone knew you were there? Now climb.”

Lilith shuts up and begins to climb.

All told, it goes about as well as it could have. It certainly goes better than the first gauntlet that Lilith ran with Beatrice in her ear.

Lilith emerges from the darkness with her eyes closed. She does not open them until Mother Superion clears her throat loudly.

"Your handler is waiting, agent."

"Not exactly in the business of giving a shit, Mother." Lilith breathes deeply.

#hitman au #ask and ye shall receive

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sapphiclizziebennet · 1 year

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this is another go of me documenting my deep personal life on here (definitely too much lmao) so yall can ignore it if you want. tumblr has been my personal journal for years now because about 5 people read my posts. but anyway,

idk i'm just feeling some type of way tonight.

on one hand, i am intensely angry and hurt. when reflecting on the events of the last year, i can feel so much emotion that it makes my body feel like it's on fire. it does feel like many things were taken from me, and certain things that i had cultivated specifically were cut down by the root and left to rot. i want to scream to the world that i know now why i act a certain way, how the neurodivergency and specifically autism effects me, i want closure on everything and want to know what every person specifically thinks so that i can say all the things that i felt like weren't heard. it's all for naught, because those traits are exactly why i was scorned so badly. but i still just feel so many things so deeply that i want to Yell. i feel stupid for having Big Feelings about things that happened 6 months ago, but i don't know, i still am very affected by the grief of losing long term friends and how i was treated, the things that were said about me, and trying so hard to rectify it all only to realize that no matter what i did, nothing would fix how those people felt about me because they'd been forming a case against me for so long, only listening to each other and nobody else. i felt very helpless and in many ways still do.

on the other hand, i am really happy with the direction my life is taking. i am happy with the decisions i've made. for the most part, i feel immensely supported by the people i've chosen to keep close to me. learning about autism has been the greatest gift i was ever given. i feel like for the first time i don't feel broken despite all the evidence in the past pointing to me being a shit person. turns out i'm not inherently a shit person, i'm just disabled and was never accommodated by the people around me lol. obviously that doesn't extend to every single one of my actions, clearly i'm still capable of doing bad things and the autism doesn't excuse that. but in recent cases, a lot of it has been rooted deeply in a misunderstanding of how i function, on both my part and the parts of others. i did literally think i was a broken person for a very long time. to know that i'm not is so fucking comforting, i can't even describe it. so i'm at this weird convergence point of hurting a lot and at the same time being thankful for all the things it's taught me.

anyway that's my story i guess. sometimes the hurt outweighs the happiness and that's where i am tonight. last night it was the other way around.

christmas time is always nice for me because i really love buying gifts for people so i've been having so much fun shopping and thinking about what i can get for the people in my life to show them that appreciation of them being there. there have been some sad voids there obviously, but overall i'm having a good time, albeit a busy time. i haven't had one single day for myself to rest since finals ended and i think it is finally catching up with me. i need to recharge at some point but idk when it's gonna happen! i am Overwhelmed but it's fine lololol

#sarah why

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calypso-finale · 1 year

Text

Ninety Nine.

The way I have been back and forth to France, I am busy and now I get how my mother felt, but with me it’s close enough for me to get back for Aziel and I can be with him, so I think London being my home was the best idea to me. Aziel gets my time, and this is what I wanted, I did not want him to be left out, I didn’t want Aziel to suffer because of me working which he isn’t, he has a perfect schedule. But I have left him with Grace since his father is in France still, he has been in France ever since, I actually don’t know but he has been away for a while promoting his music, so he is busy himself, but I try and get back for him a lot of the times but this time I am staying over because I have the Dior thing going on. Grace has come in handy, I dropped him off and jumped on a jet here. Halle bless her heart, she took a career break to be with me, and I was shocked she said that “I can get used to this life I can’t lie” she said as she sipped the champagne “it’s not even nine you know, it’s morning still” she is drinking already “one little glass please but the fact I have been on a jet more times then I have fingers, I am shook to the core. My passport is running out of pages, I am loving life, but you know when I got home I said to Colin thank you, for being understanding. He said oh it’s ok you know, you want to be there for our friend, even though you never asked. I think, well I hope I am a help” I chuckled “of course you are, you give me strength. The meetings, just to have you there with me, I feel confident and you being here has given me that, I am happy you are here Halle, and I can’t thank you enough. Lillian I appreciate her too, the boys. Like you all care for me like we family, and we are family, but you didn’t have too” Halle shook her head “to know what you went through, I mean ok we tried but it’s going to affect you, like being alone and doing this? I was like I can take year out and be with you, no string attached. But Lillian said” she cackled “she said I am missing the fucking gossip; I am sick. But when we go back, we need to update her like she wants to know. So fuck that, how are you feeling. Photoshoot and then the whole runway thing with him” I blew out air “I am not nervous, like I am up for it. It’s in the back of my mind and always will be but I am excited, I can’t wait to get out there, but I think Oakley is mad with me about it, he calls and is like Aziel there” I sniggered “oh” Halle said, “oh my god, you know what when you said I have something to tell him, was it that?” nodding my head “oh” her eyes bulged out “oh girl, I never said it to you because like obviously we been here and there and everywhere so fuck” now I am scared “bitch what happened?” I am so confused.

She shushed me “just please don’t mention it to him but anyways we was at the food place, and I was like fuck it, I am going to ask him. I said how you feel after the whole Rylee thing. Oh bro, he was like it is what it is I guess but she could have done it differently, she could have said wait for me and let me heal but she is being a better person for some next man, and I don’t rate that, but whatever I guess. I love her, ain’t fake shit but the way she did it I ain’t like it. Then he snapped because I said bro you taking it the wrong way, because you have nobody so what the fuck. He goes you ain’t see the videos, you ain’t see it. I did, that shit engraved in my head. I am like is this guy real, because you literally fucking wide open, so we had that, but made up then you said that, oh shit” she laughed, I stared at Halle “really?” I am shocked “fucking really, girl. He was really hurt by it, like why she trying to be better for another man, so like I wasn’t worth it for her” covering my face shaking my head “oh my god” I said “I know, I fucking thought the same, like Oakley you not getting the picture, but he is slow. Men are fucking slow, London men at that are slow sister so this is no shock to me” I am shocked “so he didn’t like I said that, I literally told him I have no other man, like this is it for me so why is he acting like I am doing this for another man?” I said “because men, that is it. Colin and Diji would fucking do the same, he just sees you doing better for another man, guy is acting injured” I groaned out “so that is why he is being weird, no wonder but now I know. I can’t say anything” I scoffed “he is butt hurt for nothing, I wasn’t being good for him, so goofy wanted me to be a nut job?” Halle kissed her teeth “leave him, let him realise. Let him do it, these men are dumb” she waved me off, I am just shocked that this happened with him.

My mind is still stuck on what happened with Halle and Oakley, is he that stupid and did he really take it that bad and why, I never meant it in that sense. I am not even looking for another either “I don’t drink, my friend will have that, but can I have water please?” I said to the assistant “of course” she bowed out “I am about to be drunk?” Halle froze staring at me “can’t be rude now” I laughed “no you’re right, we can’t waste” I am going to be the sensible friend now that doesn’t drink. I prefer it this way anyways “these dresses are nice; I am loving them. You think a bitch could get some free ones” I shrugged “possibly, I will find out for you” I grinned “oh clink clink bitch, but I need to get for Lillian too, she is hating me too much” she kissed her teeth “Rylee” the assistant came back in “rapper and now model Digga” oh he is here “aw shit” he said laughing “hi” I smiled “ladies, I am Digga, let’s be formal” he got his hand out, shaking his hand “we don’t hug now?” he said “my legs hurt” I said lying “oh yeah” he laughed “I know you” he pointed “of course you do, who doesn’t know me Diggles” Halle said and he busted out laughing “oh man, this is crazy” he sat down “what is your real name?” I don’t like his rap name “ask your man, he knows” oh he is annoying “oh wait, no sorry. You both aren’t together. Rhys, Rhys Herbert” I laughed out “my uncle is called Herbert too” he let out an oh “I was about to say, you laughing at my name now but Rylee and Rhys sounds peng though, I mean let’s be real. Rylee and Rhys” he clapped his hands smiling “beautiful” I sighed out “how is big Oaks, he good? I peeped his friend Wadz, they been running from my fade, but I have changed, closer to god now” oh this man is annoying “they both ok” he smiled “I ain’t seen man in West, did he erm” he pointed “moved out of west because it’s a bad place in court, oh yeah, yeah he did. Man rather kill himself then catch a fade from me” he laughed “that isn’t funny nigga, we ain’t laughing so shut the fuck” Halle said “I am sorry, I apologise. My bad” he said, that was a nasty thing to say, and I get why Oakley and him didn’t get on.

Halle is sticking by me so close, me and this guy having to be with each other all day is going to kill me because he just talks just to talk and at this point “has big man Oaks ever tell you about his school life? You know what we could have been friends but it’s his fault” looking over at him “he has told me stuff but yeah” I don’t really want to know “he hung out with my opps” he looked me dead in the eyes and I don’t care “so you stabbed his brother” he pointed at me laughing “innocent until proven guilty, they locked me up for nothing” he laughed “but this guy right, he was a hustler, I give him that. But he hung with the wrong niggas, he hung with the people that put him down. He’s a little bitch, like half of these shots didn’t need to be aimed at him but they were and ever single one of this friends that have died is because of him, he’s a pagan, and we don’t like them people. You run with the devil you going to get burnt” squinting my eyes “but you do the same shit, I wonder how many of your friends have died because of you” he went silent and looked away from me “allow it though” he waved me off “plenty, I know this shit boy, we know. You both do the same shit just one has moved out and the other is still stuck on this shit, like grow up now” he sniggered “Halle you know how we do with this postcode war shit, I don’t play that. He moved and he switched, fucking white boy. I’ll beat his ass if I see him, Wadz ran from me. I don’t care about guy; I mean come on. I am me; I am here at Dior who the better one? Please don’t play me” Halle kissed her teeth “I am not doing this with you, but I know the shit, now shut up” I have no clue about this British shit they be talking about “guy is a joke” he laughed to himself “diggles, stop!” Halle spat.

I have already told Dior, I don’t want him touching me at all but the rest we can move with, but the pictures are fitting “we look good together, Rylee and Rhys. Yeah boy” side eyeing him “break for five” the assistant said “so tell me about yourself? I been around and like why you choose him, you have to break your neck to look up at me” he smirked “and I still don’t see it” I said, “oh shit, see you been quiet but like let me take you out and show you how a real man does shit” rolling my eyes “real man, do they exist?” he chuckled “yeah me man, you beautiful and clearly your standards are low because you went with a white man” I kissed my teeth “nigga shut up yeah, my standards are high. You don’t know him, I don’t care if he is whatever with you just shut up ok, I don’t want it. I am not interesting you are obsessed with my ex, get over it” now he made me snap “jeez I was just saying Rylee” shaking my head “I apologise but let me take you for some food, friend thing” shaking my head “no” where is Halle now “how you get with him and now me? He can’t handle a woman, like look at you, you’re peng. Beautiful peng, I don’t even care he been there. I will take it” I scoffed, I walked off “aye, you beautiful” he laughed, he is a fucking idiot, he just wants to piss me off and laugh about it. Let me just stand somewhere else, somewhere where there is peace, he does too much and finds it hilarious when it isn’t.

Turning to Halle and rolled my eyes “he never mentioned that he would be performing here at all, he knew he was doing the afterparty too” I said to Halle “girl, you know he going through some invisible trauma” I chuckled, out of all the afterparties, Central Cee performing here, I mean I don’t mind it. But he never mentioned it and I was never told he would be here either, I really think that he needs to relax. I told him I am not looking for others but Halle told me that in confidence so I can’t say anything to him, looking to Halle and laughing “he is a trip, he didn’t even say. Least he did Obsessed with you, and you right here in the crowd, chile. He love him some of you” I giggled to myself and looking back at the crowd “oh brother” of course he is here “I hope your trap boy is your type” Digga pointed as he made his way into my section “yeah I am not into them, I am turned off by them actually” he sniggered “I can change your mind, a real nigga” I scoffed “yeah I have heard this a millions of times, there is no real. The real I had is over with, he is the realist now drop it” he shook his head “I think he a little butt hurt seeing me here, aye! White boy” Halle swatted Digga “you leave him alone, why can’t you act normal. We are in France not fucking west” she spat “and I am saying hey to him? Can’t I be nice” shaking my head “I am not not doing this, I am not standing with you and you making him mad, it’s bad enough that you and I walked together and did a shoot, it’s business ok” I pointed “but you fine, and I think you need a real man. I won’t lay my hands on you” I kissed my teeth “nigga fuck you” I shook my head walking off “Why you being a bitch for” he grabbed my arm “the fuck you touching” I stepped back and hit his shoulder “you playing me b” he grabbed my hand and I moved “you stay out of it you fucking bird bitch, I am sick of your mouth” he said to Halle “you leave me alone and I will pretend this shit didn’t happen” I said to him, he stared me down “you fuck that white guy, you fuck anyone” he said in my face, a loud gasp left my lips as Digga was thrown down to the ground, he hit the table with the drinks and all the glass smashed. Oakley started to beat him up “holy shit” I just said, Digga threw Oakley off him “Oakley leave it!” I shouted to grab his arm, but Halle just moved me “oh my days, I been waiting on you bro” he is so demonic “fuck you bro” Juke kicked him in the face “he has a knife” I said to Halle “leave it!” I said “just stop” Digga got up like it’s nothing and went towards Oakley and punched him in the face but Oakley just didn’t care, they both grabbed each other and they both fell off the platform we are on, hitting the ground “he has a knife” I rushed away from Halle, security started to pile in “get off him! He has a fucking knife” pushing my way through.

They backed Oakley up in the corner, I managed to push my way through “your face, what did you do? Why did you do that, he has a knife, he could have stabbed you” I said “you got tissues? He needs tissues!” I spat, his nose is bleeding badly “I saw him touching you, I peeped it ok” the security guard tapped my shoulder “he needs to leave” I scoffed “he fucking didn’t do anything, Oakley just put your head back” he is so quiet “I am here!” Halle said “tissues” I ended up forcefully putting his head back and placed the tissue under his nose, Oakley is just staring at me and I stared at him back “why?” I said to him “he touched you, I saw it” I shook my head “and he had a knife, he is unhinged. Please don’t do that, I could have handled it” he didn’t need to do that “he needs to leave, now!” security are being so annoying “from the back! Don’t test me, you don’t know who the fuck I am, this afterparty is mine! Done for me by Dior and what I say goes, so you open the back door, you get a car for him! He will be then gone” who do they think they are “I am good, I am fine” Oakley said, moving hand back “allow it” he mumbled “Oakley, don’t say allow it and walk off” Halle said, “I am gone, don’t worry about it” Oakley just walked off “you stubborn man!” Halle shouted “nigga you ran from the fade again” why is Digga still here, then I see he is in handcuffs.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfic #Chrianna Fanfiction

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meadowmines · 8 months

Text

OC-Tober Day 14: Legend

[The end of a certain premium adventure plotline]

Get your ass to the batting center roof if ya wanna see a wild ass show, the text reads. Aoyagi squints at it. It still says the same thing. Nishida has gotten the exact same text.

"Huh," Aoyagi says.

"Huh," Nishida replies.

That's it. No indication as to what, exactly, this wild ass show might entail. Though, come to think of it...

Let's back up a little.

Now that all the shit Aoyagi came back to Kamurocho to settle is settled, he's back in the Majima Family. With a little bit of rank, even. That little bit of rank might just be a "sorry you got shot" present but whatever, Aoyagi will take it. However, in addition to the rank, he was also given a mission of the utmost importance to--yeah, no, let's cut the bullshit and call it what it is, okay? He's been helping the boss stalk this Kiryu guy. He sees Kiryu-san walking around, he keeps the guy busy for a few minutes until the boss can get to their location and take it from there. Simple, right?

Yeah. Simple. Simple, except Kiryu-san hits like a fucking truck. Even with his whole crew and all of the tricks up their sleeves, it's all Aoyagi can do to keep them from getting smeared across the pavement until the boss shows. More than once, he's left them all crying in the street and the boss has taken that out on both Aoyagi's ass and his wallet. But hey, it's not like he can say no to this, right? Aoyagi has one job and that is to do whatever the fuck the boss tells him to do. It is what it is.

...also he needs money to open up a new cafe in Kamurocho and the boss is paying him bank for this so. Y'know. Worth it.

So that's how Aoyagi has spent the past week or so. He spots Kiryu-san walking around, he throws just enough hands to keep the guy occupied until the boss rolls up, he watches the boss get the shit kicked out of him. Lather, rinse, repeat. Except, Aoyagi muses, he hasn't seen Kiryu-san on the street at all today. And Nishida says he think he saw a big dude in a gray suit heading for... the batting center.

Well, what the hell.

Aoyagi climbs the stairs to the batting center roof as quietly as he can because he knows the boss and there's a significant chance that the "wild ass show" they've been invited to watch is their own ass-kicking. But there's nobody there. Aoyagi and his bro are alone up here, with a bird's-eye view of the batting range.

There's nobody here... but there are two folding chairs set up with a cooler between them and an overstuffed Poppo bag leaking assorted packaged snacks sitting on top of it. There's also a note, in the boss's chaotic chickenscratch: Ya did good. Enjoy the fireworks!

Not really knowing what the hell else to do, Aoyagi sits in one chair and Nishida sits in the other. The cooler is full of ice, and canned beer for Nishida, and sodas for Aoyagi. What the hell. What does he mean by "fireworks?"

"Bro, look--" Nishida nudges Aoyagi's arm and gestures with his beer. Aoyagi looks where he's gesturing and watches the boss saunter into the batting range. He's just kind of aimlessly wandering around on the astroturf, whistling a cheery little tune, checking his watch once in a while. "I wonder if he's waiting for--"

They don't have to wait long. The boss lights up when Kiryu-san comes walking in. Aoyagi isn't sure he's ever seen the boss look this happy. And he's starting to get an idea of exactly what kind of fireworks they're about to see.

There's a conversation they can't hear, and they're too far away to even try lip-reading any of it. It looks deep and it's probably not meant for their ears anyway. But then Kiryu-san rips his jacket off and the boss rips his jacket off and for a hot second, Aoyagi forgets that this isn't a ringside seat at a wrestling event.

It becomes clear in very short order that up until now, the boss has been holding back against Kiryu-san. He is not holding back now and watching two of Kamurocho's legends slugging it out right below is a damn near religious experience. He's never seen the boss go all out like this, sure as hell not against someone who can actually take it. He tries to stay quiet and so does Nishida because they're pretty sure Kiryu-san doesn't realize he has an audience, but there's a lot of wincing and oof noises being traded up here and Aoyagi knows they are going to fanboy like motherfuckers at each other later.

It actually looks, for a minute there, like the boss could win this. But Kiryu-san lays into him, wearing him down with fists and feet, and the boss puts up a hell of a fight but it's just not quite enough. He hits the ground with the biggest shit-eatingest grin Aoyagi's ever seen on his face. Once Kiryu-san seems satisfied that he's not going to pop back up for more, he plops down on his butt next to the boss to catch his breath. There's another serious-looking conversation. Some weary laughter. And then the boss sits up and...

And, uh...

Uh...

...oh, what the fuck?

"Okay," Aoyagi deadpans. "That, uh. That explains a lot." Boy does it ever explain a lot. It explains shit Aoyagi never wanted explained.

"Um..." Nishida gets up and gently tugs on Aoyagi's arm. "I... don't think we were supposed to see this part. C'mon, let's wait for him out front."

---

It takes a disturbingly long time for either of them to leave the batting center. Kiryu-san leaves first, straightening up his jacket as he does. He catches Aoyagi's eye and gives him and Nishida a perfunctory nod as he strides off into the night. The boss comes out a few minutes later with a thousand-yard stare and a loopy grin on his face.

"Sir," Aoyagi says as he bows. "I guess you won't be needing us on Kiryu-spotting duty anymore."

"The fuck ya talkin' about?" The boss whips one arm around his shoulders and the other around Nishida's and yanks them in tight. He smells like blood and sweat and cigarette smoke and a little bit of whiskey and cologne that is not his own. "Course I still need ya. In fact..." He reaches up to ruffle Aoyagi's hair. "I'm stickin' with ya!"

"Stickin' with--" Oh shit. He can't mean that. He can't possibly fucking mean that. "Sir, what the hell are you even talkin' about?"

"What, ain't it obvious?" The boss yanks Aoyagi and Nishida in nice and tight. Too tight. Aoyagi taps. The boss does not notice. "Yer doin' such a great job trackin' Kiryu-chan down for me, I figure it's easier to just follow you around!" He slaps Aoyagi on the back, too hard. Judging by the yelp and stumble, he's done the same to Nishida. "So lead the way, Chief Kiryu-spotter! I'm already itchin' for another round! Oh hey, wait, let's swing by the office real quick. Oi, Nishida! Ya got my zombie shit on deck or what?"

"Your--but boss, you just got done--"

"It's a yes or no question, nitwit! I got a hankerin' for some Kiryu-chan brains!"

Aoyagi squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth and wonders if he really is getting paid enough for any of this shit.

[yes, Majima joins the battle roster at this point! And you can continue to harass Kiryu for fun and profit, except now instead of a set number of turns, the battle will last until you run or lose. If you make it at least ten rounds (with Haruka throwing shit at you, ofc) you get paid. If you make it a hundred rounds you get a cool billion yen and a trophy. Also, if you engage Kiryu without Majima in your active party Majima will roll up, yell at you for fighting Kiryu without him, and kick a random unit out of your party and take their place.]

#oc tober #yakuza #yakuza oc #aoyagi saga

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anicekidlikeme · 25 days

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All mom's annoy the shit out of me.

I like to read Dostoevsky to remind myself that nuance exists. Nobody writes like the Russians. As I made my way through a shabby English translation of The Idiot, I came across a section that made my afternoon more filled with thought.

"There is something at the bottom of every new human thought, every thought of genius, or even every earnest thought that springs up in any brain, which can never be communicated to others, even if one were to write volumes about it and were explaining one's idea for thirty-five years; there's something left which cannot be induced to emerge from your brain, and remains with you forever; and with it you will die, without communicating to anyone perhaps the most important of your ideas.”

I have been thinking recently about the importance of communication, and I've concluded that I have too hedonistic an approach towards this whole "reaching out" bullshit. I am constantly neglecting people explanations and communication so as to maximize the pleasures of my life. It took me such a long time to realize that when you become an adult, the amount of explanations you owe are absolutely zero. And I fucking love it. But it wasn't always like that. I have this memory from when I was young. My upstairs neighbor had come to visit to share that her son had gotten engaged. I think she was a math teacher or something. Some sort of teacher for sure. My grandmother entertained her until my mom came home from work. I was silent. I remember my mother entering through our brown door. I remember how she used to wear a button-up and trousers with her long hair and her black glasses. And here begins my pondering. I always loved how my mom dressed for work, I truly thought she was so fucking cool. But I never did tell her. I know I focus a lot on nitpicking the negatives of my mother, but actually there have been an overwhelming amount of times in my life where I completely admired her and felt it wasn't worth the explanation. Even if it was something so basic as her outfits. I admired how she would never smell bad, and how her hair was always perfect. I admired the way she would travel solo, and the way she would fight with my father, and every so often, how she would get the courage to stand up to her own mother. It would never stick, but it was something I admired. I never told her. I find giving appreciation to your abusers to be an overrated sport, and my mom knew that.

I am sure my mom had positive remarks about me at some point that she never told me. I like to think she isn't entirely bitter and cold. But sometimes, you just do not communicate out of fear that one little positive will cause resistance in your established relationship. My mother and I for example, we have a bad relationship. It's not good. And the relationship wouldn't be bad if we talked about the good. So, you just do not let the nuance exist. It is better to say I have a bad relationship with my mother than to say yeah, I don't really know what we have. I like definite, and I love no fallacies. Anyway, that same day the neighbor visited, my mom sat down and talked to her about my independance. I remember she said Majhya mau la kaditch madat nahi lagat. Ti sagla swataha karte, ani mi vicharat pan nahi (My daughter never needs any help. She does everything by herself, and I never even ask). That is the only compliment my mother has ever given me, and the first time I heard it, I had a fucking breakthrough. I realized that while I was spending all this time analyzing our relationship over and over, she had never even thought about it. I was doing all this emotional labor for my parent. My primary caretaker. But I was never able to admit the hurt I felt each time I heard that phrase leave her mouth. Why on fucking earth do you gloat about your un-involvement? I wanted to tell her often just how much I wanted her to be involved, but I never wanted to show that I needed her, because then the only compliment my mother has ever given me would no longer be true. So I watched her live her life and lived mine independantly.

There are so many fucking things that remain unsaid about my independance. I moved to the US all by myself, I left India with two suitcases. I did it. I am so lonely, and it was hard to leave my mom. And we had built our life centering just us two. I felt like I was abandoning her. I didn't know if I could do it. Ir's not as simple as good and bad. There is so much fucking nuance.

I have accepted that for the next few years I will not have a home and I will not know the feeling of having a bad day, and just coming home. I can never just collapse on my couch and let out a deep sigh of relief. I can never just express how happy I am to be home. Because I don't have a home. I have a dorm room, and I have these weird in-between places. I really miss it. I miss having a couch, my own bed, and just a safe, consistent space that I can rely on. But I love my life here. It's so nuanced. Growing up we moved so much that the security of a home was always threatened anyway, but I still somehow know the feeling of coming home. I know it, and I wonder where it came from. I would like to say that it came from my mom, and that we had made a home together in each other's company, but if that were true why the fuck would I be across oceans?

No. That one unfortunately is not so nuanced. I think I first felt the feeling of home when Drew cried to me about being tired. When he talked about just how exhausted he was, I felt so seen. I had ever felt comfort to that degree before. I never told him. We hadn't even had sex yet, how could I? But I knew I finally had a home. And it talked and walked and hugged and made me orgasm so many times with such minimal practice. Here's the un-communicate-able part: Meeting Drew has created a pit of relief in my life. But at the bottom of that very beautiful connection there lives worry. I sometimes doubt that I am Drew's home. It kills me, but it's too weird a thought to tell him. Luckily, he doesn't read much, so here's my analysis of the situation:

I believe Drew and I have been dealt a very similar parental hand. I won't say if it is shitty or not, but make of my opinions what you will. Before I begin, I want to state something that seems to be a very obvious fact. You cannot hate your mothers. They may have a hold on you, they may make your life unlivable, they may make you move far-far away from them, but no matter how hard you try to resent them (which you will), you will always have moments where you think, shit, at the end of the day, that's my mom. You can't escape it and distance is the only answer. I learned about distance at the fresh age of 17 and have spent my whole life since dedicated to making it happen. I cannot help but love her, but it would hurt less to do it from afar. So, I moved. We had a fight right before I boarded my 23-hour long flight. It was over how I had eaten too much candy. She screamed at me, and I didn't hug her goodbye. I like to say it has been three years since I felt the touch of my mother. Hard as it is to swallow, I have never felt it before either. Distance helps you realize that. I am afraid to admit it, but the only touch that has ever felt good is Drew's, who might be in the same situation I was in a few years ago.

As you grow up and really do the being alone gig, I think you start to realize that you never stop needing the support of your parents, you just stop needing the killer methods of support your emotionally abusive parents have drawn up for you. When my boyfriend is depressed, the only thing that does not help is talking about the severity of his past actions, which also occurred during a time of heavy depression. It causes a big magnitude of guilt and an even bigger magnitude of self-loathing. Fucking naturally so. When you hear about all the inconveniences you caused to the people in your life during a time of illness, you ought to feel sorry for that time the next time you're ill. And there is a devastating multiplier effect to this. For all the time people spend woke-ifying the world on mental health, there really isn't much fucking turnout. I find that to be the magnum opus of fuck up's that moms make. So obsessed with mental health but so mentally abusive. Oh, i'm going to make sure you have very limited joy, but oh my god, I just cannot bring myself to understand why you are so depressed? It's a paradoxical error, and it's always the moms who make it.

These cycles of self-haterid, as I have learned, are not innate. Rather, they are built structurally by the people in your life. It's rather simple really. You do not just come to hate your personality unless someone expresses discomfort with your being. Then, they reinforce. Every time my mother saw me struggle, she went silent for about two hours. Then after that began the restlessness. She'd get all worked up about the sacrifices, about the kindness, about all the things she has done for me without getting much gratitude in return. Then came the actual physical abuse. I would think to myself then, fuck, she's so fucking right. She did all this for me, and I cannot stop being sad. That makes me way more sad. But now i'm sadder than when the sadness first began. I am pathetic. My mom has thrown closed-fisted punches at me at times, she has controlled every hobby, every friend, and every social experience I have ever had. She has told me multiple times how she wishes me to die on the street, how nobody could love someone so pathetic as me. Those phrases echo in my head with her exact sound. I can hear them clear as day. That was the structure she built to abuse me, and it was all I knew of life. I worry that in some ways, Drew is in the same shitty boat.

I love her. I love her like she's non shitty and I miss her like she has never done a bad thing in her life. But she did. And she slapped me and burned me and made me. And it hurts. And it makes me cry. And that is part of my magnum opus. These fucking motherhood romanticizers who put on a big show about their parenting, but really are just very angry 50- somethings who control you to feel productive. They make twisted and senseless rules, then break them down, then punish you, then make new rules. Structure! Being a mother is an incredible, selfless feat. You just have to care. I don't think I could do it. So, what do you do when you have these big shoes to fill, but you can't help be a narcissist? And what do you do when that narcissist has been through a cheating-filled divorce and now resents you because you are quite literally the embodiment of that failed relationship? I don't know, ask my fucking mother.

I don't know how many hours of my life I spent hearing about all the similarities between my father and I. I'm not sure how many Drew has spent either. Vaibhavi, don't lie like your father did (i'm not), don't have a drug problem like your father did (mom, I don't), don't be an alcoholic like your father was (i'm not). And the biggest one: do not manipulate me like your father did. My mom could never move past the fact that I was half her and half him. The half him part ate at her. So we had all these ways of life. I had the legs of my father, so I always had to cover them up. I had the nose of my father, that's where the first punch would always hit. It was to ensure I was turning out to be the most un-fatherlike daughter ever. What else could she have done? The woman got cheated on. I can't give her that kind of grace now, but I used to. But really, when you are ill, your methods become harsh, and the crime becomes irrelevant. I never had a drink until I was a sophomore in college. I never did anything bad. Teenagers tell lies, sneak around and hang out with their friends. I didn't even do that. I was too afraid of how lonely she would be that night. Do you know what the funny thing is? It was all for nothing. The crime does not matter, at some point these fucking moms just get addicted to the thrill of having a problem. I am sure that had I been drinking and smoking during my time in India, I would've gotten the same punishment as I did when I snacked too much in the days my mom "banned food". She would still hit me, scream, cry, tell me to go kill myself. God, at least it would have made sense then.

The problem with problem-seekers is that whether it is 10 cigarettes or 10 pieces of jolly ranchers, the problem is always there. The problem is the way they control you. They love the problem, and luckily, it doesn't go away if you control it enough. The problem is relying on you for food and shelter, and it is in their best interest to keep that dynamic alive for as long as possible. Sometimes I think my mother's freakout sessions were just her ways of reaffirmation. Yes! Look at me! I'm parenting right now! I'm selfless, and this is all for the good of my child. Problem-seekers always disguise themselves as solutions people. Mama, why couldn't you have been better?

So, here's where Drew comes in. I fear that he's too deep in the cycle of control. I fear what it does to him. I fear for how long it will take for him to get out. It is the most genuine and earnest feeling I have ever felt. This feeling of fear for a boyfriend I just met. There are so many things I want to say to him, but don't because I cannot stand being that girlfriend. But, I'll speak candidly now. This is my space.

Drew, I know what it is like to constantly be the bad guy. I know how much it hurts to always feel full of inadequacies. I know what it is like to feel so distanced from your good times that you can't help but rely on your parents for a touch of reality. I know they are supposed to have your best interests at heart. I am also well aware of how confusing it can be to feel like your parents are an unreliable source of judgment. I know how it feels like to never fully believe that there are good parts in your machine. I know how love can be witheld to gain control, and how affection is always conditionally based on compliance or performance that week. I know your emotions are trivialized. I know the fear of inconsistency when parents start swinging between affectionate and abusive behaviors unpredictably. I know. I know how it leads to isolation too. I know why you sometimes feel discouraged from forming healthy relationships with others, including friends and girlfriends. I know sometimes bad things feel like the only escape. I know it all, and guess what Drew, ditto.

I had the hardest time getting out. I had to realize how dependent I was on the abuser for meeting my social and emotional needs. Your compliance is how they fuck you up. I fear that you are making all these decisions you think are good for you, but they aren't your own choices at all. I fear that you can't distance yourself, and I worry. But the only way out is through. Make meaningful relationships, and understand your needs. Find your normal, and do not feel any fucking guilt in doing it. Drew, I know it isn't possible for you to get yourself out of it now, but I hope one day you recognize that you cannot keep going along with this pattern. I want to shout each time at you. If I could, I'd scream don't fucking take it. Don't take it! Enough! Stand up for yourself. Imagine a physical wall around your self, and resist when somebody tries to enter it when you don't want them to. Protect yourself. Shout! yell! stand up for yourself! fight. It kills me. It hurts, I get so angry. It just kills me. I think of how long it took me to stand up for myself, and I know how long it might take. Drew, I don't think I am your home. I think it is your mom. And I have never told you, because you'd laugh at how ridiculous it sounds. But consider why it is so hard to leave. Not financially, emotionally. Consider just how much it hurts each time. And think about why you just keep coming back and letting it happen over and over. Why do you never explain yourself when you are so evidently right? Because you grew up like that, because this is your normal. I know this because it used to be my normal too. It is home, and it is familiar. I just can't fucking say that. There are some things I can never say to you.

But I'm here. And I understand. And I hope you know that it is so beautiful how two people so similar found each other in this great big world. When you are ready to get out, we can get a small, shitty, cheap home. Split the rent to a shitty room. I know I said at the beginning how I can be hedonistic. I maximize pleasure, and seek to minimize pain. It was hard to point a finger to what was causing me this much pain, what it's roots were. You're not going to like finding out either. But now I am with you, and I am here. And the truth is, there is so much pleasure in my life, even amidst all my mistakes and lies. I have practically cut my mother out of my life, and I worked like hell to do it. When your pain is minimized significantly, you'll find slowly that there is no need to rely on addictions anymore. But i'll admit, I fucking hate all moms. The bad one's make me frustrated, the good one's make me jealous.

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kandifling · 1 year

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Dan's backstory ★

Dan was born into a family that seriously did not care about their kids. Danialle was the second oldest, so for the first few years of moon's life they didn't have to worry about their siblings dying of starvation. But stars older sibling, left the moment they turned 18. Leaving a 11 year old autistic child to take care of 4 other kids (and three on the way) with little to no help from their parents. And it wasn't any help that there was always their uncle around.

You might think that this uncle would be useful in helping the kids. Wrong. That man could be Satan himself, especially since he would force the kids to do the most inappropriate things ever. This includes making him meals, helping him shower (he could do it himself, he was perfectly healthy) and 'play games' with him, if you catch my drift. Disgusting. Luckily he moved out with his girlfriend when Dan was 13, so he was even less help. The kids didn't really mind though, nobody liked him.

Anyway, when Dan was 14 a accident happened. Stars dad got a little too drunk, and ended up telling a officer what he let his brother do to his kids, and how he and his wife never even see them. You can guess how quickly CPS got their asses. Taking away all of the kids and putting them all in prison for a few months. Dan was the only one to not be adopted during that time (it was mostly because they were 15 and has a big ass ego. Also the fact the have autism. That for some reason gave people a reason to not adopt them) so they were given back to their parents once they got out of prison. But since the parents were legally no longer allowed into any bar or area that sells any kind of alcohol, they went through massive withdrawal symptoms. Making them both extremely aggressive. Moon's mom died of withdrawal (and a edible overdose) and that made their father even more aggressive, so they started physically abusing star. This got so bad (literally like even leaving star room, would get the shit beat out of them) and Dan ended up running away and telling the cops about their mothers death (Her body sat it the house for a week or so because their dad was a phyco and didn't feel like leaving) and the abuse, getting them permanently taken away. And the father back in prison.

The orphanage wasn't the best living space ever, but it was infinitely better then their former area Dan was living in (To be honest anything would be better then that place. Maybe hell but that's just a thought.) Dan was the only sibling still living in the same town as they were born in, they knew nobody and didn't care for anybody either. They coped by drowning themselves in books (can't think about trauma if your reading a really good book :D) so they figured out their special interest (★ Space ★) and pretty much only focused on school and space. And also ways to piss off the owner of the orphanage (wasn't a super nice guy, he was super strict. But he wasnt an asshole, Dan was though.)

Dan wasn't adopted. At all. They stayed in that center until college, where they luckily started at 18 and ended at 28. (TEN YEARS AT COLLEGE DUDE.) Star adored being a astronomer, having most of their college payed off by Grammy in Alaska (hey where were you when I was being abused- oh you were dying of some rare illness? Oh ok.) And scholarship things from literally having the best grades in literally everything, so luckily they didn't have to go through debt. (I have to give them something alright? Imma let them be happy once.) But nothing lasts forever (see we can't let them be happy forever.) And since they were one of the only non-binary (AFAB) workers, alot of moon's coworkers didn't take them very seriously, and one of them even went far enough to try and 'take advantage' of them (were trying to not get banned here. (Guess what company they work for.) and Dan was really trying to get out of the toxic situation they were definitely in (they just got out of one, they don't wanna go back down that rabbit hole) then, they found a advertisement of Lizberts expedition, and took that chance and ran!!

So now Dan's on Snaktooth, they are having a fun time, not really interacting with most of the others unless they have to (you can freaking guess why) but once they got used to being around all the new people (not really 'new' actually, Snorpy, Floofty, and gramble lived in the same orphanage as them for a bit, but they all were moved out into other orphanages. But they all never really met so they wouldn't have any idea.) Dan opened up into this egotistical, overly confident, bastard. Yup thats right. That's Dan's personality for yah. A fucking asshole. That can't figure out social cues and hates the sun (ew bright light bleeghhh) and certain kinds of blankets (eww weird texture blaaahghh)

Dan fought with Wiggle at the big fight. Mostly. They tried to stay out of it (don't go searching for fights kids) but they heard star name out of wiggles mouth and promptly stuck up for themselves. (it was something about their ego, although they shouldn't really be talking to be honest.) Dan left almost immediately after the fight. Don't stick around where trouble lies. Also run away from your problems don't deal with them first hand. (This is definitely talked about.) + The impending realization they have a crush on a certain scientist (wink wink nudge nudge *insert dad joke here*) was also a motivation to leave (don't get attached, and DEFINITELY don't fall in love)

Dan went to sugerpine woods, literally because it was high up, good look at the stars + the moon from there.

And that's pretty much it :) Im gonna add some fun facts about Dan now because I wanna talk about them but I feel awkward talking about them to other people live so imma do it now. (This feels like a massive info dump I don't know why)

Dan has a weird sense of humor. Like a gen Z kind of humor but its even stranger.

They just yell out some stupid BS if they feel like it. They're mostly trying to get some energy out but it always scares the shit out of gramble (Not on purpose. Mostly)

Hates Dr pepper. They just don't like it!

Loves Rats, Cats, and Halloween decorations. And also the feeling of flower petals. And space. Don't forget about the stars..

Gives you moon/star themed items when you do their letter requests ★

And that's it everyone!!! If you got any questions go ahead and ask them!! I love talking about this mf :)

And that's a wrap!!!!!

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purplesurveys · 2 years

Text

1557

When was the last time you fell?: Couple of weeks ago when I slipped in the bathroom and damn near knocked my head straight to the ground. Literal millimeters away from a bad concussion; and it would’ve left me shaken up for the rest of the morning and given me an existential crisis if I didn’t just have to immediately get back to work lol.

What’s the last flavor of ice cream you had?: I had the cookies and cream variant of the Magnum ice cream.

Do you know a Stephen?: Nope, nobody comes to mind.

Green or Purple?: Purple.

Are you currently mad at anyone?: I’m feeling a bit resentful towards a certain person, but not mad.

Do you own any sundresses?: Yeah, I have a lot of them because I used to have a sundress phase back in high school and college. I’ve mostly grown out of it now, but I still keep the dresses around if in case I need to wear something lightweight and comfy.

Have you done any deep cleaning recently?: No.

Have you ever cooked a meal for a large group of people? I was about to say no until I remembered that one of our major projects in home economics when I was in high school was to come up with a food business and serve the entire high school body for a day. Thinking about it now, it’s an insane assignment that should technically be illegal lol – but in any case, we had to do that and I remember our group coming up with a burger business. We had something else too...chicken tenders I think it was? We had to make hundreds of each dish and overall it went well, but again thinking about it now I’m just glad we never heard of any health issues from the students who bought from us.

Do you like reading peoples survey answers?: Sure!

Do you check your email daily?: My work email I obviously check every weekday since that’s part of my routine – but I keep it off-limits on weekends because boundaries; as for my personal email, I check it probably once a week.

Have you ever used a whole tube of chapstick or do you usually lose it before doing so?: I don’t use lip balm.

When did you last wash your hands?: Around an hour ago after using the washroom.

Do you enjoy being outside in the rain?: I love the rain, but I don’t like being stuck in it – like I hate having to drive while it’s pouring hard. It’s only calming to me when I happen to be safe indoors.

What are some lyrics to the last song you listened to?: "On a day you hate being yourself, on a day you want to disappear forever, let’s build a door in your mind. Once you open the door and enter, this place will wait for you, it’s okay to believe the magic shop that will comfort you.”

Do you ever read the newspaper or get all your news online or television? Online. It was never a habit of mine to read the newspaper.

Have you ever watched a meteor shower?: No, they are never visible here.

Does the number 8 have any significance to you? No, it doesn’t.

Who has the best hair that you know?: A person I work with has naturally curvy hair that I find really pretty.

Have you ever been to an aquarium?: Yeah, I’ve been to the one in Manila. I'm 100% sure I’ve also gone to an aquarium abroad, but I can’t remember which country it was.

Are you currently happy?: Yeah, I’m generally a happy person as long as you take out the work aspect of my life. I can’t wait to get that shit all sorted out, lmao.

What’s a reason for your happiness?: Self-love and contentment is a big part of it.

Is there a light on in the room you’re in?: Yes.

Do you know anyone that has a birthday today?: Yeah, it’s Kaye’s birthday today! She was supposed to host a birthday dinner this weekend and invited me to it, but last Thursday she told me she was going to hold it off for now since med school got a bit too hectic. Anyway, I’m just waiting for the rescheduled date but I’m definitely going to be there; I’ve really appreciated how she’s seemingly come out of nowhere to be closer with me the past few months and I’d love to be able to celebrate her day with her.

Have you ever been to a car show? I don’t think so. I’m trying to remember if my dad has brought me to one in the past, but my memory is coming up blank so it’s most likely a no. Do you like grocery shopping?: Sure. It can be tempting to put a bunch of snacks in the cart though haha but otherwise I find the experience pretty calming.

Have you ever been in a play?: We held school productions every year and participating in them was mandatory, so yup. I’ve never been in a play voluntarily though – I’m not a theatre person.

Can you see a mirror from where you’re at?: Nopes.

Do you have a large or small backyard?: I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle. It doesn’t like, lead to a forest or anything like that lmao but it’s also definitely not cramped. We’ve hosted parties there a few times that comfortably fit a good number of people.

Do you like blueberries? I like some blueberry-flavored things, but not the fruit.

What’s your favorite flavored water?: I don’t like flavored water.

If given opportunity, would you go to outer space?: Continued from last Sunday. Yes, I would. I don’t think the astronaut in me ever died out.

Do you own a record player?: Nah. It’s been part of my wishlist forever, but I just never get around to getting one. I have nowhere to place it in my room anyway so I’m not too bothered.

Has religion ever come between you and somebody?: Yeah. I remember when my ex had some sort of epiphany about religion and suddenly gave God a chance, and that definitely led to a bit of a fallout between us. If I remember correctly it got resolved when we agreed to just never raise the topic of religion and to let each other discover and explore our spirituality on our own – which honestly should’ve already been a blaring red flag.

When did you last have an important conversation with someone?: A few nights ago.

Does caffeine cause you to get shaky? When I’ve had one too many cups. I’m used to drinking 2 full cups at most, and last Sunday when I had 3 it already made my body start freaking out lol. Head was ringing, stomach kept doing somersaults, I took too many trips to the toilet, the whole shebang. Not pleasant at all.

Is there a scar on your body that you can’t explain? No. I know where each of them came from.

Have you ever accidentally shut your finger up in a door?: Fortunately, no.

What would you say that most people know you for?: Never shutting up about BTS.

What’s your favorite kind of juice?: Idk, let’s just go with orange since I’m most likely to take a sip of that.

Do you have any stuffed animals?: Does Tata count as a stuffed animal? Hahaha I have two. What are you up to today?: I mean it’s 11:43 PM, so all there is left for me to do really is to wrap this survey up and start preparing to turn in.

Do you wear hats often?: Yeah, I wear bucket hats like 8 out of 10 times I’m outdoors.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? Not yet. Waiting for my friends and cousins to give me ‘em ;) Hahaha.

Do you own a religious book?: No.

Have you ever owned a wreck it journal?: Nah. As a teen, unsurprisingly, I really wanted to collect them – but I think even younger me subconsciously knew that I had no creativity to show for those journals, so I never actually ended up buying any versions of it.

What did you last purchase?: A bunch of party stuff for the BTS Busan concert this Saturday. Y’ALL I got a bunch of purple balloons, a purple set and a rainbow set of streamers, and this giant-ass gold ‘7′ balloon lol it’s crazy. I’m ready for this week to end because the first thing I’ll most definitely be doing is to dress the living room up.

What was a celebrity you liked as a kid?: Beyoncé. Still do.

What did you last eat that was spicy?: Ramyeon.

Have you ever had tofu?: Yes, love tofu.

Would you or have you ever held a snake?: I wouldn’t own one as a pet, but I have held snakes before.

Do you peel your apples before eating them?: I just don’t eat apples, period.

Do you season your food a lot?: I don’t cook, but I mean yeah I definitely prefer my food with lots of seasoning because that’s what helps food be more delicious. If I find something a bit bland, Knorr seasoning always helps.

Do you ever light incense? No. I never encounter incense anywhere unless I’m at church and they bring out that contraption thingy that releases the incense smoke.

Is there anything you’d like to say to someone?: Sorry I’ve been a shitty replier, I haven’t been up to talking the past few days but I’ll get back to you soon.

What are you currently wearing?: A white t-shirt with the print of a past viral tweet, and a pair of shorts.

Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night just to talk to someone?: Grossly enough, yup.

What was the last social event you went to?: A PR event for one of the brands I handle.

Do you use the word “like” excessively? When spoken, yeah pretty often.

What are your thoughts on horse races? I don’t see the appeal.

Do you watch The Simpsons or any other cartoons?: Nope, not really big on cartoon series.

Do you find tattoos attractive?: Not as much as when I was younger.

If you have a car, does it have a name? My parents have given it a name but I never use it haha. I just refer to it by its model name - Mirage.

Why did you last see a doctor?: Haven’t been to the doctor since my UTI diagnosis two years ago. I did go to the dentist a couple of months ago to get a wisdom tooth extracted.

Do you get light headed after getting blood drawn?: I’ve never gotten my blood drawn and don’t think I will ever be up for it, lol.

What did you first think of this morning?: I thought of how loud Cooper was barking, then immediately fell back asleep.

When did you last cry?: LOL earlier watching this emotional video that one of my accounts will be releasing this weekend on their social media.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen today?: Run BTS flying yoga episode hahahahaha

Have you ever been snorkeling? Sure!

Are you clumsy? Continued ages later; holy shit is this survey long lol. Yeah. I’m not as clumsy as I used to be, but I will sometimes still knock cups of water over, trip over air, lose my balance, accidentally slam doors, etc.

Do you prefer satin, cotton, or flannel sheets?: Cotton.

What’s your favorite kind of jam/jelly?: Guava, since that’s the one I’m most familiar with. I’m generally not a fan of jam.

What’s on your bedside table currently?: I have my lamp, earphones, company ID, a couple of ballpens, and ointment.

What’s the best compliment you’ve received recently?: Angela was telling me how this new top I bought suits me really well.

What’s some things you always make sure to pack before going on a trip?: My phone and laptop (and their chargers) and underwear are pretty much my only must-haves. Everything else, I wouldn’t be too bothered if I realize I’ve forgotten to bring them with me.

What’s one of your strengths?: Looking after people.

Have you ever spent more than $100 on a pair of shoes?: Yup.

Would you say you’re an impulsive person? A lot less than I used to be, but yeah I still have my tendencies sometimes.

What have you last been diagnosed with?: UTI, but this was forever ago.

What’s something that makes you quirky?: Idk, maybe some of my habits when it comes to food. Admittedly I’m pickier than I think I am, like the way I absolutely have to peel the skin off fried chicken so I can save it for last, or the way I have a particular ‘trail’ I follow when eating a burger haha.

What types of cheese do you consume the most?: I’d say mozzarella.

Do you purchase extended warranties on your electronics? No.

What was the last restaurant you ate at? I don’t remember the name of the place but it was this wings place in BGC right after we had a pitch. It was the only spot that didn’t have a waiting list and we needed to have lunch immediately so we could go back to work, so we ended up there. It was good! I had this unique dish of theirs that was basically a love child of boneless chicken and pizza lol.

What was the last sweet beverage you had?: Caramel macchiato, last night.

Do you believe in psychic ability? I do not.

Have you ever won any carnival games before?: Not that I can recall.

What was the last fun thing you did?: Watching the BTS Busan concert! Yesterday was PERFECT. I had my place completely dressed up with a ridiculous amount of balloons, and I had these cute and colorful streamers on the walls too and even a giant purple ‘7’ balloon. Six friends came over and it was basically a screaming and singing fest for the whole 1.5 hour show, and it was just so so so so so SO much fun; I was so giddy the entire time and still am haha.

Do you wear glasses?: I do.

What song did you last have on repeat?: Run BTS.

When did you last have pizza delivered?: Yesterday; it was one of the things I had delivered for our watch party.

What do you normally pay for your hair cuts?: Trims are usually just P100 where I live.

What’s your favorite decoration in your place of residence?: The coffee table we have in the living room - because my late grandpa made it.

How many computers/laptops are in the building you’re in?: Three.

Have you ever been to a rodeo?: Nope.

What frosting goes best on cake?: Chocolate or cream cheese.

How long does it take you to get ready? 15-30 minutes, depending on how indecisive I am on my outfit for the day.

Do you do some form of exercise daily?: No.

Have you ever won a big prize for something?: I’ve won the bigger prizes in a couple of raffles.

Do you think it’s true that good things come to those who wait?: Yeah, but I am also in the belief that you have to actively work hard for those good things to actually be closer to you.

Do you show your feelings?: Sometimes, but I feel like I am more reserved these days. I only show my frustrations and whatnot to people I’m really close to and comfortable with.

Have you ever held a chicken?: I don’t think I have.

Would you rather feel too much or nothing at all?: Too much.

Are you hard to please?: Nopes.

What is today’s date?: October 16.

0 notes

dead-end-stuff · 2 years

Text

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

Part 1

⚠︎ pairing . . . idia shroud x reader

⚠︎ fandom . . . twisted wonderland

⚠︎ reader's gender . . . anonymous/no pronouns

⚠︎ warnings & extras . . . yandere (obviously), obsessiveness, stalking, blackmailing, possessiveness, cyberstalking, taking photos and recording without consent, begging.

⚠︎ word count . . . 563 words

⚠︎ a/n . . . after not writing anything for three months. i finally posted something that i'm kinda sorta proud of? anyways you know the drill. you don't like this kinda stuff then feel free to not read, but if you do, then enjoy. :]

❗Yandere behavior is gross, toxic, incredibly dangerous and all kinds of wrong. This story in no way romanticizes this behavior. If someone in your life exhibits similar toxicity, do not hesitate to seek help: domestic abuse hotlines❗

yandere!idia who spies on you through cameras he put inside your room when you had another one if your adventures.

yandere!idia who hacks into all your social medias and cyberstalks you.

yandere!idia who stole your phone without you knowing and blocked all your friends so that you will believe that they have lost interest in you.

yandere!idia who knows that you will probably never love a disgusting shut-in stalker like him, but just can't bring himself to stop watching you from the shadows.

yandere!idia who's heart beat a million miles per minute in sonic the hedgehog speed when you actually talk to him.

yandere!idia who stutters and blushes like an idiot when you smile at him for the first time and pat his shoulder.

yandere!idia who buys you the hot latest games and PS5 that he knew you wanted but were too expensive for you to buy yourself.

yandere!idia who threatens anyone who shows interest in you by blackmailing them, threatening to expose their darkest dirtiest secrets that he scooped from them with his hacking skills.

yandere!idia who's heart squeezes painfully when he sees you being happy with someone else.

yandere!idia who tries his damnest to hold himself back from beating the shit out of that background nobody for buying you chocolates and writing you a letter declaring his "oh so ever enduring love for you", they left it outside the entrance door of Ramshackle Dorm.

yandere!idia who sneakily went to Ramshackle Dorm and ripped the love confessions into shreds, burn it, then threw the chocolates as far as he could into the forest near the dorm.

yandere!idia who sees you as a gorgeous blessing hand made and given to him by whatever being was up there in the skies.

yandere!idia who daydreams of the two of you having a life together and you being happy with him, he sighs blissfully and couldn't stop the lovesick smile that was growing on his face at the image, but the smile quickly went away when his computer screen said game over, meaning that he had lost the level of the game that he was playing.

yandere!idia who implants a microchip in your phone that allows him to track where you are and listen to your conversations.

yandere!idia who invites you to play video games and watch anime at his dorm, and does a victory dab (he's too blind by happiness to realize the action he did was beyond cringe) inside his head when you agree to hang out with him.

yandere!idia who loves the sound of your voice and the sight of your flawless face.

yandere!idia who keeps records of your voice and has countless pictures of you hidden inside a small box under his bed.

yandere!idia who rambles to Ortho about you like a high school girl in romantic visual novels.

yandere!idia who thrives off your touch and makes up any excuse so that he could have contact with you and be in your presence.

yandere!idia who would go on his knees and beg you to stay with him with tears in his eyes if you ever found out about the disgusting things he's done, and almost lets out sobs when you told him that you hated him.

yandere!idia who is willing to do anything so that you could continue to be with him, including blackmailing you and threatening the ones you love so that you could stay with him.

513 notes · View notes

twistedmusings · 3 years

Note

I'm not going to request it now because requests are closed, but that Savanaclaw petting scenario was really cute and like,, Octavinelle petting and examining them

(,,• W •,,)

A/N: If you can pinpoint the exact moment I started to slowly doubt my writing ability and how to write these characters, I will give you, the reader, 100 points. Cause man this was rough to write when you have writer's block q wq But anyways, this was when my requests were closed BUT I WANTED TO COME THROUGH WITH IT! I would like to dedicate it to @kirayamidemon since I read their comic and it was...excellent.

But in other news, I found out that eels like to be petted!

Warnings: Eel petting, Octopus petting and all three Octavinelle members feeling a certain way when you finally give them those pats.

[Floyd-Senpai: Shrimpy~! Meet us in the mirror room tonight! Azul says he wants to give you something!]

Your eyes look down at your phone before pocketing it back into your jacket, taking another sip of the Coral Pink drink Floyd had made for you before you left Monstro Lounge as you reminisce back on the day you just had.

Today has been probably the most successful day the Monstro Lounge has had in a while. You had offered up the idea to Azul while you two walked to the cafeteria, mentioning touching a manta ray once and how you didn’t expect them to be so slimy. He had looked at you curiously and asked if you had just been a curious child when you were growing up, but you told him that you used to go to a lot of aquariums and how you would go straight to the petting exhibit.

And the moment you said petting exhibit, Azul already had cashed the idea in.

Aquariums had been placed elegantly among the tables of Monstro Lounge tonight. The smaller aquariums on the tables were closed lid, giving the customers a chance to enjoy the little ecosystems Jade had personally made for the creatures Azul had brought in while partaking in their drinks and meals. It made for a killer Magicam picture and Azul had predicted with Vil’s and Cater’s attendance the hashtag #MonstroLoungeExperience would be trending by the time they reached the dinner rush.

It trended faster than they thought.

Most foot traffic, however, came from the piece de resistance.

In the middle of the Lounge, a large aquarium had been placed at foot level where various customers could reach down and pet larger animals such as sting rays, sturgeon fish, starfishes and sea cucumbers. All of them with little placards stating fun facts as well as little sections with a bunch of coral that made for another perfect Magicam photo opportunity.

It had been an amazing experience and you felt like you had almost grown closer to the three Octavinelle students, which was always an ‘A+’ in your book.

You were pretty sure you saw Azul smiling from ear to ear by the time they closed and Floyd and Jade looked physically exhausted from having to deal with so many customers. They had been busy from opening to closing with no breaks in between so you figured that they would want to rest.

So getting a message from Floyd so late at night had been somewhat confusing.

But you didn’t question it, the fact that Azul wants to give you something making you ever so curious.

Who knows, maybe if the sea creatures were still around Azul could let you pet them some more?

Out of everyone you had probably been the most excited for the petting exhibit and you had given him the idea so the possibility of playing more with the starfishes and manta rays pushed you to move faster.

Finishing the last of your drink and throwing it away in the nearest trash can, you push open the doors to the mirror room with a smile--!

Only to find nobody.

“...huh.”

You look around, not daring to call out either of their names since, technically, you weren’t even supposed to be here. The only thing you could do was take a few steps further, looking around as you try to make some sense of the situation.

Why wouldn’t they meet you in Octavinelle? The Monstro Lounge was there, as well as all the creatures. Azul’s office was there as well so if he wanted to give you something he could have given it to you there, so why had Floyd asked to meet them in the Mirror room? You look around for a moment before frowning as the realization set in.

It was a prank.

“Dammit.”

Of course. Why would Floyd even act this nice towards you if it wasn’t to lull you into a false sense of security? The table you had sat in today had a beautiful aquarium with a bunch of little shrimps floating around and the mereel, more than once, had opened the lid and stuck his hand inside to grab one of the shrimps and hang it over his open mouth.

You thought he was just acting this way because he was stressed from working so much but he probably had just done it to tease you! With a huff, you pull out your phone and open up his contact number to give him a piece of your mind--!

“Aha! Shrimpy is here!”

Only to gag as the back of your jacket is grabbed by a slimy aquamarine hand, pulling you into the nearest mirror and leaving nothing but your phone laying on the ground.

Floyd’s hands pull you into a hug the moment you are pulled into the water, laughing as he sees you thrashing around and pulling at the arms keeping you pressed close to him.

“Ahhhh! Shrimpy stop moving!”

The mereel squeezes you tight, smiling as he looks down at the moment you realize who is holding you and what you are able to do.

He grins and wraps his tail around you, the fins brushing your fingertips as the shock slowly starts to die down and the curiosity starts to set in. Floyd’s eyes shine brighter under the sea, your hand going to your chest as you expected to drown immediately but finding it simple to breathe in and out.

“What--?!”

“Finally!”

“There we go~ Breathe in--”

You take a deep breath.

“And out~”

Your chest relaxes as Floyd giggles at how wide your eyes have gotten, letting you go with his arms but his tail wrapping around one of your legs and pulling you close to him once again. He smiles when your hands go up to inspect the fins on his ears but stop as if the situation was still highly unreal for you to believe.

He guessed humans rarely got to see the sea during the night, but he was glad he got to show you this sight. Even if it was Azul’s idea in the first place.

Looking around, you notice that you had been here before.

It was the Coral Sea.

You look back at the mereel as Floyd tilts his head at your confusion, smiling as he sees the shining in your eyes get brighter when you notice that the veins in his arms and the ones going up his neck are all shining in the moonlit water.

“Floyd…”

Ah. You really looked too cute. Especially when you were looking at him with so much wonder. Maybe he should just take you out further and hide near the corals, somewhere Jade nor Azul would look as he preens under your attention.

He blinks as you break out of the spell long enough to point a finger at him.

“You--! Why did you call me to the Mirror room so late! The last thing I need to do is get in trouble with the Headmaster!”

Floyd frowns, “You didn’t get in trouble! I pulled you when I heard your voice! Why didn’t you call out to me!”

“Because I couldn’t see tail nor fin of you!”

Both of you stop talking after your dumb joke, looking at each other with surprise before a giggle escapes your lips first, turning into a full blown laugh between you both as he takes your hand and presses it under the fins in his ears.

“Shrimpy was so mean today. Petting all those creatures and ignoring everything else. It made me want to eat all of them up.”

You smile and rub right under the juncture where fins meet skin, Floyd shivering as he pulls you closer to him.

“Eels don’t eat any invertebrates, right? You guys are mostly carnivores.”

He grins and gives you a small squeeze. You even knew of his diet? Why hadn’t you mentioned you knew some things about sea creatures. If you had, Floyd would have dragged you to the Coral Sea way before this! He smiles as your hands go all the way down to his neck, tracing each vein slowly but not going any further than his clavicle and choosing instead to run your fingers from his shoulder blades all the way to his Adam's apple.

“Shrimpy is being too shy. Here!”

You gasp as Floyd grabs your hand and helps you swim over to a pair of rocks, sitting you down on top as the bottom of his tail wrapped around your legs to keep you anchored. He laughs as he practically sits on you, choosing instead to lay the top half of his tail on your lap as you look down at the shiny, swishing fins.

“Now you can touch as much as you’d like!”

Floyd was ready to make a joke about how this would a much better petting experience for you but his eyes widen when he sees the wonder in yours, the smile in his face disappearing as he watches your fascination with his fins, running your fingers through his caudal fin and rubbing the edges with your hand. His hands twitch as you run yours up his tail, taking in the slimy but firm feeling before looking up at him and reaching out to cup his face with one hand.

He presses his cheek against your palm, smiling as you scratch right over his ear fin and almost jumping up from the rock as you start to rub the appendage.

“Shrimpy wait--”

Shit, he almost bit his tongue. He could barely look into your curious eyes as his heart sped up, the most sensitive area of his body being played and inspected with being a far too new feeling for him to just laugh it off.

Floyd bites his bottom lip as his tail squeezes your legs, closing his eyes as he felt several shivers go up his spine. It felt too good--

“Floyd?”

The mereel slowly comes down from the high as he glares at the intruder, clicking his tongue as he saw who it was.

A pair of identical eyes to Floyd’s turn in your direction, your hand pulling away from the other as you turned to greet Jade.

“You certainly took them farther than I thought you would.”

He chuckles as his brother turns away, clearly not wanting you to see the blush on his cheeks. Nevertheless, his attention immediately goes back to you, swimming over to your side and sitting on the opposite of where Floyd was situated.

“Did you have any troubles finding us?”

You shook your head, “Floyd grabbed me and pulled me in before I could leave.”

Jade nods and looks down at how Floyd had situated himself, a brief pang of jealousy overtaking him as he scoots closer, takes your hand and presses it on his chest. You immediately try to pull back but Jade’s eyes lid as he tugs you in closer, the veins in his chest shining even brighter than Floyd’s as he immediately feels you relax in his touch.

“Do you know what this is, [Y/N]-san?”

His eyes take their time to take in all of you as you nod your head, whispering the word ‘bioluminescence’ as Jade licks his lips.

How strange was it to see you so focused. Jade had taken his time during the lull of the Monstro Lounge hours to watch you near the petting tank, your fingers running over the manta rays and tapping at the carapaces of the horseshoe crabs. And like his brother he did feel a certain sort of jealousy for those creatures, but he also saw an opportunity.

An opportunity to get your guard down.

His eyes look over at Floyd, the other pouting as your fingers start to trace Jade’s chest all by themselves.

“Uhm--”

Jade’s attention goes back to you, “Yes?”

“I didn’t think that moray eels had bioluminescence.”

He smiles and takes your hand again, guiding it from the middle of his chest all the way to his cheek making sure that your fingers feel the light travel in his veins as you start to wriggle out of Floyd’s hold and into Jade’s.

“Our kind is a mixture of many eels types. While our exterior is that of a moray eel, our interior is also made up of certain eels that use this feature as a way to communicate with other animals, warn predators…”

The mereel decides to keep the ‘lure prey’ part out of his explanation.

Jade’s eyes immediately went to Floyd’s as the other was about to speak up, glaring at him to keep his mouth quiet for he had his turn. His eyes soften when they go back to you, your eyes still taking in all of the small trails of light decorating Jade’s body as your hands trace against the caudal fins on his arms.

They were rougher than the ones near their ears…

Slowly, your hands go to the fins on the side of Jade’s face, the mereel tensing up but keeping his eyes on you as you start to tug and rub at the appendages.

“[Y/N]-san…”

His nails scratch against the rocks as he feels your fingers trace every line they can find, his fins giving a little twitch as you push them back only to watch them slowly move back to their original spot. You had no idea what you were making him feel, what you probably made Floyd feel.

And if his dear brother wanted to keep it a secret, then he would keep his mouth shut as well.

Having someone touch them so freely, especially that area, was an act reserved for mates only. Even during courtship this was prohibited and if any other merperson happened to swim by it would be as if they just tumbled into the merman equivalent of someone shoving their fingers in between someone else’s legs.

But your curiosity was so endearing and Jade just couldn’t find it in himself to pull you away. In fact, that look of yours full of innocence and naivety was so cute that if he let his instincts run wild you would find yourself being dragged to the Leech's home--

“What--you two!”

His reason kicks back in as Jade smiles and turns to look at the new visitor.

The octomer’s face is bright red as he locks eyes with you, your hands letting go of Jade’s fins as he smiles and waves at Azul.

“I’m glad you decided to join us, Azul.”

He wants to say something about what the hell he just saw but he decides to save it, knowing full well that Jade nor Floyd were going to give him a straight answer. Instead, he decides to address you directly.

“Inferring from our conversation from early this morning as well as your actions during the Monstro Lounge opening hours, I figured you would like this sort of surprise."

He clears his throat, sneaking a peek at your face and quickly looking away as he saw your eyes staring straight at him.

Humans like you are still curious about the different types of merpeople, especially those like Jade and Floyd, so after much consideration I decided--”

"Azul, you're beautiful."

Oh no. He bit his tongue. Fuck, fuck, fuck he bit his tongue and now it hurts like a shell clamping down on his hand--why had you gone and say something like that so suddenly?!

"Excuse me?"

The spell Jade had you in was completely broken as you pulled out of the brother's hold and swam over to him, stopping when you noticed him backing away.

Azul stared at you and you stared back at him.

He couldn't help it. After all the things he had to deal with, it was hard enough for him to even appear in front of you like this. And it wasn't like he was doing it as a showing of any sort of affection towards you, he just didn't want to owe you any favours from the idea you had given him!

All he had to do was just...reach a tentacle out--

"Huh?"

Azul notices you swimming back a tiny bit, smiling at the tentacle shyly reaching out to you.

"You can turn back, you know. I don't want you to feel forced to do this."

You point at him, your eyes still wide with curiosity but keeping your distance.

"The fact that I get to see you like this is enough."

Azul can feel his heart skip a beat, tentacles unfurling even more as the need to hide melted away.

But...he owed you a favor...

"Honestly. Thank you so much Azul."

For the Sea Witch's sake, he really couldn't pin you down, could he?

The octomer swims over, floating right in front of you as one tentacle shyly brushes against your fingertips. They twitch in interest but you do not move, looking up at Azul expectantly.

You really were too nice for your own good, waiting for someone to give you the okay when he clearly wanted you to at least inspect that part of him.

"Go...go ahead."

Your touch is soft, pressing your hands right against his suckers and chuckling at the small noise they made as they attached themselves to your skin. Azul moves in a bit closer as some tentacles start wrapping around your ankles and wrists, his natural instincts taking over as his tentacles wrap around the person he really liked.

Well not like as in like like but a like he had yet to put a definition to. And it's not like it needed a definition, you certainly weren't asking him what sort of like it was and the thought of what kind of like it really was didn't keep him up at night at all.

"Oop!"

Azul almost wants to screech at the tentacle going in between your legs and hoisting you up, offering you a sort of makeshift seat as the other appendages start to press against your neck, leaving behind little sucker marks in their wake.

This situation was not only testing his boundaries but also his patience.

"I didn't think they would be so slippery...and so soft!"

Please don't look so curious about him! It's going to give him wild expectations!

The tip of a tentacle rubs against your cheek, Azul's face an almost red tomato as he hears you chuckle and push the appendage back but for some reason his tentacles weren't listening to him so the thing only pushed forward even more--

"Ah! No fair!"

Floyd comes up behind you, wrapping you up in a hug as he points a finger at Azul.

"No hogging Shrimpy to yourself!"

Azul swims back in alarm.

"I wasn't hogging anyone!"

Jade laughs as he swims right up behind you, a hand on your shoulder as he pulls you back.

"Azul you might want to look down."

The octomer blinks only to look down, seeing that one of his tentacles had stubbornly wrapped around your waist.

"Ahh...ahhhh….!"

You, Jade and Floyd blink as dark ink fills the water, Azul covering his face and letting you go, swimming to the nearest hole and curling up inside as he strangles one of his tentacles.

Of all the things to embarrass him it just had to be himself, huh?!

"Azul? Wait come back!"

"Shrimpy tell me I'm beautiful as well~!"

"Floyd let me go! There's ink everywhere!"

"Not until you tell me I'm beautiful!"

"Jade!"

"Azul is more than okay, I can assure you...although I would also like the same compliment as well, [Y/N]-san."

The next day, you woke up with a high fever due to swimming all night, a present from all of the Octavinelle students at your doorstep with an apology card neatly placed on top.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst imagines #twst scenarios #octavinelle #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #twst mc #twst x reader #//ALSO WHO CAN PINPOINT THE YANDERE UNDERTONES

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