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lokis-little-kitten · 3 years

Text

Teaching Assistant 13

When you wake up it is the next morning. You have been transferred to a recovery room. It is quite spacious and light. Your bag and other belongings laid on a table next to your bed. An IV was in your right arm connected to a bag of fluid.

You look down and notice your left shoulder is all bandaged up. You can see some angry bruises peek out from under it. The room was awfully quiet and you felt anxious. You wanted to know what was going on. You press the call button and wait for a nurse to come and take a look at you.

A young girl walks in with a large smile on her face when she sees you. She has short black hair and a radiant smile. She seems South Asian. She takes a look at the machines on your bedside as she starts to ask questions.

“Hello. I’m Maya. How are you feeling?” You try to shrug but because of your bandaged up shoulder you can’t.

“Okay, I think. I feel really tired…” The nurse nods and writes it down on the notepad she carries with her.

“That is completely normal. You are on some really strong pain meds. The doctor will come and take a look at you in a little bit. Is there anything I can do?” You look around the room and then lock in on your bag.

“My phone. Can you plug it in so I can charge it? There should be a charger on my bag.” Maya nods and checks your bag. She pulls out the cord and your phone. She plugs it in and lays the phone on your lap. You quickly thank her.

“Anything else?”

You think for a second before you remember. You’re surprised you can. You usually try to forget this. “I have an appointment with Doctor Eric Wilson here at 4… Can you let him know I had an accident?” She assures you that she will and then leaves again.

When she leaves you quickly turn on your phone. A few spam emails pop up on the screen and a few texts. One from Dimitri and a few from Loki. You first open the one from Dimitri but as you do he calls you. You pick up and put the phone on speaker.

“Hey, you missed the first lesson. Are you alright,” he asks in a worried tone. There is some buzzing behind him. He is clearly in between classes.

“I had an accident, last night. I’m in the hospital,” you croak out. Your throat is as dry as sandpaper.

“Seriously? I’ll come right away,” he tells you and you hear him starting to walk faster to call in sick.

“Thank you,” you reply. Dimitri tells you to sit tight and that he will be there shortly. You hang up and then check Loki’s texts.

Daddyi.

Did you get home safe?

Darling?

Answer me!

Where are you?

Why aren’t you in my class?

You are in so much trouble.

Please answer me. I’m worried. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen?

Answer me or I’m coming to your flat!

The last message was only sent a few minutes ago. Quickly you call Loki up as well but he doesn’t pick up. He would probably be teaching a class right now. You leave him a voice note explaining your situation and tell him not to worry.

After that your doctor did come in and check up on you for a moment. She explained what they did in the surgery and what was going to happen afterwards. You came out reasonably unscratched for a motorcycle accident. You had a broken collarbone, a bruised rib and a small head wound. They did want to do a brain scan to make sure there was no other damage done.

You would have to receive a lot of physical therapy for it to heal properly. You would also have to wear a sling the next few weeks. The doctor asked you once again if she could call someone for you. You told her Dimitri was on his way.

A few minutes later he indeed arrived. He looked rather pale when he walked in. It must have been a bit of a worrying sight. You were in a very oversized hospital gown and all alone in the rather empty and sterile room. He sat down on the bed with you and grabbed your hand.

“How are you, babe?” He looks at you with large puppy eyes.

“I’m alright. The painkillers do their job.” You give him a short smile and then take a deep breath. You tell him you still need a brain scan and that you need to wear a sling the next few weeks. Dimitri offers to get you some stuff from home, like your laptop, clothes and other things.

When he leaves you go for the brain scan, which is frightening. The room was dark and the machine was scary. You had to lay still as the machine was scanning you. You were very happy when you got out of it.

Once back in your room Loki still hasn't replied or even seen your messages. Dimitri returned with some of your stuff. You watch a bit of a movie until he is sent out as well. You take a short nap since the anesthetic made you drowsy.

Around four someone knocks on your door. When you look who it is you are surprised it is Eric. He is the psychiatrist treating you for your eating disorder and anxiety. He was absolutely wonderful. You are so lucky to have found him! He takes a chair and sits down next to your bed.

“Hey there,” he smiles as he takes off his official doctor's coat. “You didn’t think I would skip out on you only because of a little motorcycle accident.” He gives you a funny smirk that manages to make you laugh.

“Of course not. I think I’d have to actually pass away to skip an appointment.” Eric chuckles a bit and then opens his file.

“So, how are you in regards to the accident,” he asks in a serious tone. You think for a moment and want to sit up but your shoulder prevents you from doing so. You slumb back into the pillows before replying.

“This is gonna sound strange, but I’m alright. I don’t know if it’s just the shock but I sort of needed this…” As the words leave your mouth you feel crazy. The brain scan came back clear but maybe they missed something.

“You needed a near death experience,” the psychiatrist asks you as he changes his sitting position. There is a thin frown upon his forehead.

“Yes… in a way. I tried to stay here, to stay awake. I was actively finding ways to stay here and to help the doctors. A few months ago I would have let myself drift off but I didn’t. I wanted to live,” you explain.

It was true. A few months back when you were deep in your eating disorder and filled with anxiety you had at some point nearly died. You didn’t care whether you lived or died. You just wanted your suffering to be over. Now, after some of the hardest months of your life it changed. You wanted to live. You wanted to make the most of it. You wanted to study, to graduate and make something of yourself. It was a big difference and the accident reminded you of that.

“You should be proud of yourself,” Eric agreed, “that is a big change. Although, you should not need a near death experience every time to remind you of that.” The last bit he says as a joke but it’s tinted with seriousness.

When the session is slowly coming to an end your phone rings. The screen was still upwards and the words ‘DADDY’ appeared largely on the screen. Doctor Eric looks at the phone as you quickly click it away. You look up at his confused face and wait for him to say something.

“I thought you didn’t talk to your father anymore,” he asks with suspicion written all over his face. He knows very well you haven’t talked to him since you were ten.

“I’m not,” you reply and avert your eyes from him. Loki could not have called on a worse moment. You do not want to talk about your love/sex life with your psychiatrist. The fact that this is illegal doesn’t help.

“So you’re seeing someone. Why didn’t you tell me,” he asks in a serious tone before switching to dramatics. “I thought we told each other everything.” He makes some fake crying noises and slowly slides from his chair. You can’t help but chuckle at the ethics.

“It’s still pretty new. I just don’t feel like talking about it. I didn’t think it was important,” you say, hoping Eric will stop questioning. He struggles back onto his chair and gives you a serious look. As he does you have to hang up another call from Loki.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it with an old dude like me, but I do feel like we should talk about it. You have never had a good example of relationships and you are in treatment for an eating disorder, depression and anxiety. This could turn toxic if you’re not careful.” You just stare at your therapist for a second.

“Well thank you for listing all that,” you mutter as you slide down in your bed a little more. Eric gives you an unimpressed look. “But I guess you make a point. Next session,” you suggest as you look at the clock. Your hour is over. Eric luckily agrees and then leaves the room.

When he leaves you quickly call Loki back. He answers rather fast and distressed this time. A plethora of questions immediately roll off his tongue. You quickly stop him halfway.

“Loki, I’m alright. Sorry I didn’t pick up. I was with a doctor.” You can hear him sigh in relief.

“I was so worried when I didn’t hear from you and you didn’t show up today. I knew I should have driven you home last night!” You stop him again before he starts to ramble again.

“It’s not your fault. There was a broken traffic light.”

“How are you feeling? Can I come over?”

“I’m alright. On a lot of painkillers. I don’t think you should. It would be suspicious. The doctors told me I will be discharged soon. I’ll see you then.” Loki doesn’t like the idea of you being in the hospital all alone but eventually agrees. You talk a little longer until Loki has to go home from the university.

The next two days pass by slowly. Dimitri comes by in the afternoon but the rest is rather boring. When you are finally discharged you are over the moon. Dimitri came and picked you up. He brought you home, did some meal prepping since your left arm was completely useless.

He stays over the night and helps you in the morning to figure things out. Getting dressed was absolute hell. Luckily the hospital had given you some painkillers for your arm and bruised ribs. Dimitri is also nice enough to carry your bag into college.

It was difficult to get through Loki’s class. You were craving one of his hugs and to just talk to him for a moment. You wanted to dig your nose in his neck and take in his scent. When class is finally over Loki tells you to stay behind.

You walk up to him when students leave the classroom. He starts to talk to you about work you missed and whether you would have to catch it up. Once everyone is gone Loki rushes to the door, closes it and turns the lock. He pulls down the curtain that allows you to look into the room.

When the coast is finally clear Loki immediately pulls you in for a kiss. He holds both his hands on your cheeks as he does so. You lay your good hand on his shoulder and pull him nice and close to you. When he let's go you press your body against his. You press your head in the crook up of his neck. Loki puts his arms around you in return as gently as he can. One arm he moves to your head and gently cradles it.

“I’m so happy you’re okay,” he mumbles before kissing your hair. You don’t reply but just place a gentle kiss on his soft skin.

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a-dorin · 4 years

Text

tempestuous | darth maul

word count: 5.043k

warnings: nsfw, 18+, professor/student relationship, sexual tension, smut, nudity, sexual innuendos, dominance kink, age gap, cursing

a/n: hello everyone! due to the response i received, this is the second chapter in the professor!maul au! i am so happy with the overwhelming comments of kindness. you guys rock :’) thank you for keeping me sane during quarantine. as always, the first chapter is linked below. enjoy :))

ardor

summary: weeks have flown by, and you find yourself under immense amounts of pressures with midterm quickly approaching. not only are you stressed with the academics, but you can’t seem to shake a certain professor out of your head.

“(y/n), did you have rough night?” barriss chuckled, handing ahsoka an iced coffee before sliding into her own spot, “here, i got you a little pick-me-up.”

wrapping your hand around the cup, you swirled your straw around, “thank you, barriss. i guess i’m just a little stressed out with midterms approaching.”

“a little?” ahsoka giggled, covering her mouth, “(y/n), we love you, but you look like you’ve been hit by a truck. is everything okay?”

you rubbed your temple, a dull aching seeping into your skull, “i’ve been pulling some all nighters lately.”

“well if you ever want to study for with us, you’re always welcome,” barriss’ blue depths shone, her lips curved into an encouraging smile, “ahsoka and i are a little nervous about the midterm as well, especially for this class. professor maul hasn’t given us any sort of notion on what the exam may be.”

“i hope it’s something simple,” you grumbled, taking a sip of the matcha latte, “again, thank you for the matcha, barriss. i appreciate it.”

barriss laid a gentle hand on your shoulder, “anything for you, (y/n). after all, you’re our new best friend.”

“she’s very right,” ahsoka shot you a wink, prodding you with her elbow, “you should come to the library with us tomorrow night! i know, it’s lame, but it’s pretty empty on the weekend. we have a good chance at snagging one of those study rooms. and if we get our homework done friday, we can always meet up before that party saturday night!”

“you guys party?” you arched a curious brow.

barriss and ahsoka rolled their eyes simultaneously, the togruta letting out a huff, “we know how to have fun too, (y/n). after all, they say that the bookworms know how to let loose.”

“whatever,” you couldn’t help but laugh, pulling out your laptop.

it was now about halfway through the semester, with midterms approaching on the horizon. the looming fact that you had about five exams, along with working extra hours with your internship, were beginning to take their toll on you. the internship at the hospital was running smoothly, and you were performing so well that you were offered extra hours. of course, you couldn’t help but accept the offer.

yet, it came with a cost. although it was only two nights a week, they asked if you could stay a few hours later than normal. so, every tuesday and wednesday, you strolled into your apartment well past one in the morning.

rex helped in every way he possibly could. whether it was cooking you dinner, making you coffee, tending to your laundry, as well as keeping the apartment tidy, he was adamant about making things easier for you. which, you greatly appreciated. there were even times he charged your laptop and made runs to the printer. last night was one of those nights where you didn’t get back till late, so to say you were exhausted was an understatement.

although it was your first class of the day, and 9:56 a.m., sleep still hung heavy in your mind. the comfy clothes hanging on your frame weren’t much help either, the coziness of the fabric lulling you to sleep. a university of coruscant hoodie, a few sizes too big, was almost like a blanket. and the grey sweats were comforting. shaking your head, you attempted to focus.

the class fell silent as he entered the room, causing you to perk up in your seat. today, he was clad in a pair of black slacks, the color of his button up and blazer corresponding with his pants. his shoes were freshly polished, glossy in the sterile light. the monochromatic outfit brought out the color of his crimson skin, his amber orbs nearly glowing. as usual, the silver chain hung from his neck, this time, settled on bare skin, as a button or two was left undone.

you nearly choked on your matcha, as you drank in the sight of him. maker, was he gorgeous. mind buzzing, you mustered all of your strength to not admire for a moment too long. it was already embarrassing enough the sheer amount of instances you saw him on campus.

now that you were enrolled in his class, you saw him everywhere. whether it was grabbing a meal to-go in the dining hall, bumping into him at the gym, or mumbling a greeting as you passed him in the halls of the psychology wing. it was odd, yet you paid no mind. a part of you yearned to see him, to just admire his features.

professor maul didn’t seem to mind the encounters either. every time, he would chirp a greeting, his tone smooth and cordial. even though he was formal, you couldn’t help but notice a gleam in the golden pools as he spoke. it was almost as if his eyes were roaming your body, glittering with lust.

just the mere thought of his lips on yours sent a faint blush painted across your cheeks. shifting in your seat, the realization that class began washed over you. letting out a quiet sigh, you typed notes as he spoke, his voice clear, thick with authority as it rang through the lecture hall.

“now,” he cleared his throat, backtracking to the pedestal to the left of the space, “i compiled a list of terms and parameters of your midterm exam.”

groans of frustration erupted like a volcano, maul’s eyes blazing with amusement, “may i discuss the exam with you first or are you all going to complain?”

“i hate him,” ahsoka muttered under her breath.

“you don’t mean that,” you whispered, teasing, “what if the exam is a breeze?”

“the midterm will be no walk in the park,” maul announced, gathering a thick stack of papers in his hands.

your eyes wandered to his hands, and how they sprawled over the stack with ease, how they were would fit so well over your breasts. a shiver ran down your spine as you pondered of his hands all over your body, relishing every inch of your skin. his voice snapped you out of your fantasy, his gaze settling on you, a smirk creeping onto his lips.

“for the exam, i ask that you research an individual or authoritative figure who is a ‘monster’ in our society. once you conduct your research, you will give me a brief presentation. the presentation will be done orally, through a video format. the deadline is printed on the assignment sheet. there are no exceptions, so plan accordingly.”

biting your lip, your cheeks reddened under the eye contact. however, his attention was taken away from you, eyes flickering towards a student near the top of the lecture hall.

“does this mean we can talk about president palpatine? he’s a tyrant!”

“i can’t believe he almost banned the frats!” another complaint rose from a classmate.

“if that’s who you would like to report on,” a bubbly, lighthearted laugh escaped his lips, the sound flowing like sweet honey into your ears, “you might have your work cut out for you. that is my boss after all, so i am not sure how biased i can be.”

the rest of the class droned on, ahsoka and barriss lost in their note-taking, their stares fixed to their laptop screens. meanwhile, you found yourself getting lost, daydreaming. maker, did you ache to experience just one kiss. to trace the tattoos all over his chest and shoulders as you unbuttoned the article of clothing. gnawing on your cheek, shame burned through you as you realized that you were beginning to feel a sensation in your core. the mere thought of maul had your folds slick, wet and desperate for him.

soon, class was over, students herded to the doors. you followed ahsoka and barriss, conversing about tomorrow’s plans. you were anticipating the study session tomorrow, as you needed it.

after all, you weren’t paying much attention in class these days.

*******

“so, are we wrapped up for the night?” ahsoka yawned, her eyes bleary with sleep.

a rumble in the distance shook the library, a thunderstorm wreaking its havoc over coruscant. you, barriss, and ahsoka were finishing up, the building nearing closing time. it was 10:32 p.m., the three of you hunkering down in a study room for the past two and a half hours. however, the session was helpful, the three of you passing notes, sharing what you did and didn’t have. you were all caught up, thanks to them.

“i believe so,” barriss nodded, shoving a notebook into her bag, “(y/n), would you like us to walk with you to your apartment? we can share an umbrella and give you one.”

“i’ll be fine,” you shrugged, glancing at your phone, “i think i might wait out the storm for a few more minutes. besides, my roommate has a girl over. i don’t want to impose on them.”

“you sure?” concern flashed across ahsoka’s face, “it’s not a problem to us.”

“you guys can go,” you teased, winking, “i can handle myself. besides, there’s no one in here besides the twi’lek at the front desk.”

“whatever you say,” barriss huffed, adjusting her hijab, “see you tomorrow!”

“see ya,” you waved to the two girls as they left the room, “text me when you guys want to meet up!”

“we will,” ahsoka called, giving you one last grin before they disappeared from your field of vision.

exhaling, you rose to your feet, slinging your bag over your shoulder. strolling out of the study room, the lights of the library were dimmed, a few students lingering, milling around the front desk or nose deep in textbooks, scrambling to finish their work.

eventually, you made your way to the lobby, leaning against the brick wall. rex promised that he would text you when his friend was on her way, yet there were no message on your screen. no missed calls. nothing. frustration welled up inside of you, creeping into your thoughts. surely the girl wasn’t staying the night. rex didn’t mention anything about it to you earlier.

“hey there,” an all too familiar voice rumbled, “do you need a lift?”

turning ever so slightly, your eyes widened at the figure before you. maul stood in the doorway, donned in a pair of grey joggers, a university hoodie on his top half. the hoodie was black, which was a prominent color in the zabrak’s wardrobe. you picked up on that the third day of class. his brows were furrowed, lips pursed. it was almost as if he was concerned.

“i’m fine,” you muttered, “just waiting on my roommate to give me the all clear.”

“i remember those days,” maul mused, “savage used to have all sorts of women over when we rented an apartment together for grad school. it was downright horrid.”

“i bet,” you sucked in a breath, anxiety swirling as you read the time once more. it was 10:48 now, more and more students filing out of the exit.

“you all right?” he inquired, his voice low, “if your apartment isn’t too far from here, i can give you a ride. it’s storming pretty bad out there.”

“isn’t that illegal?” you snorted, a glimmer of hope rising as rex’s called id lit up your phone, “hang on, i gotta take this.”

“heyyyy,” immediately, you sensed that rex was walking on eggshells, “do you have a place to stay for the night?”

“rex, i thought we talked about this.”

“well,” he mumbled, “she wants to stay the night. i’ll do all of your laundry tomorrow if you say yes.”

“rex this isn’t the right time to bargain with me,” tears brimmed your eyes as the horror crept in. you had nowhere to go.

“please?” his voice was sickeningly sweet, “pretty please?”

“fine,” you caved, “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“thank you-” rex began, but you hung up before he got the chance to finish.

storming out of the library, tears streamed down your cheeks, mixing effortlessly with the icy rain as it cascaded down, piercing through your clothes. you sobbed, your cries deafened by the thunder. maker, you were so furious. how could rex do that to you? especially so last minute? the only place you could go was your car, and you didn’t even have a fresh change of clothes.

“(y/n),” through the roar of the thunder, you heard his voice.

“oh great!” sobs racked your body, “now i have to deal with you too-”

his hands grasped your cheeks, pulling you in. lips collided with yours, his touch warm, as you crumpled completely. fingers tangled into your wet locks, desperate to bring you closer to him, to feel your lips mold so effortlessly with his. the kiss was fiery, burning with a passion. a desire for you. it was exhilarating, intoxicating, your mind buzzing, losing any sort of coherent thought as the rain pounded against the cement, lightning illuminating your surroundings.

“now,” he pulled away, leaving you breathless, “do you need a ride?”

“i don’t have anywhere to go,” you could barely string the words together.

“you’re welcome to stay at my place.”

“are you sure?” you wiped your tears, yet the effort was fruitless. your clothes were soaked, you were chilled to the bone.

“yes,” he took your hands, “come on, let’s get out of here.”

“what if someone sees us?” anxiety bubbled within you.

“my hood is up,” he began to make his way towards the parking lot, clicking a button on his car keys, “besides, i’m wearing black and so are you.”

“i guess you’re right,” you muttered, a shiver rippling through your being.

as he approached the vehicle, he opened the passenger door for you as the rain pattered against the pavement. slipping off his sweatshirt, he shoved it into your hands, “here, put this on.”

“i-i’m not wearing a shirt underneath,” the words were a stutter.

“and i’m not fifteen,” maul scoffed, ducking so that he could slide into the driver’s seat, “you’re going to get sick out here and mine is somewhat dryer than yours.”

hesitantly, you made your way into the passenger seat, your eyes widening as you noticed the interior, “this is a tesla.”

in the darkness, you picked out the brightness of his grin, his incisors flashed, poking against his lips, “indeed. my apartment isn’t too far from here. i need to let savage know that we’re no longer having drunkfest.”

“drunkfest?” you couldn’t help but giggle.

“drunkfest,” maul affirmed, his thumbs dancing across his phone, “we get absolutely wasted every friday night to forget about the awful moments of the work week.”

“interesting,” you settled into maul’s hoodie, grateful for the slightly drier fabric. his scent flooded your nostrils. it was a strong scent, with traces of leatherwood, spices, and bergamot. it was heavenly, with just the right amount of cologne.

“it is interesting,” his eyes focused on the road, the lights of the city whirring by as he drove, “even though i’ve gotten completely trashed every single time, i can’t seem to shake you off my mind.”

blush flooded your cheeks, your breath hitching in your throat, “i see.”

within minutes, maul pulled into a parking garage, turning off the engine. he helped out of the passenger seat, “let me carry your bookbag for you. the textbooks probably need to sit out for a few hours. i’m sure you don’t want to pay for new ones.”

“i don’t,” you sucked in a breath.

the zabrak slung your bag over his shoulder with ease, locking the car behind you. the two of you entered the elevator on the level, and maul pushed his desired designation. a wave of silence crashed over you, but it wasn’t unnerving. it was more relaxed, maul humming a tune as the elevator whirred.

eventually, you were standing outside his door, the zabrak shoving the key into the lock. pushing the door open, you couldn’t help but marvel at the decor, furniture, as well as the viewports. the apartment was luxurious, screaming wealth. yet, maul remained humble, not uttering a single word.

the floor was a flint concrete, glossed over with a polish. in the den, there was a massive patterned rug, intricate patterns of black, white, and crimson woven together. the couch was a sectional, a dark grey. the shelving and tables were black, paired with subtle hints of scarlet or grey decor. there wasn’t much wall decor, besides some vintage posters from the old days of coruscant. framed photos of zabraki were scattered, and you inferred that they were feral and savage, maul’s younger brothers.

“there’s a hall leading to the refresher. it’s on your right, i’m going to set out your books to dry. before you shower, leave your clothes in a pile by the door. i’ll throw them in the wash for you. and if i pop in, don’t scream. i’m going to lend you some of my clothes,” the zabrak murmured, “take your time in the shower. i don’t want you getting sick.”

“what if i need help getting the right water temperature?” you arched a brow.

his eyes narrowed, gleaming, “i think you’ll be fine, princess. call me if you need anything.”

your cheeks reddened, “okay. i’ll be in the shower.”

maul mumbled something incoherent, and you wandered through the den, discovering the hall that he mentioned. once you found the refresher, you peeled the damp clothing off your body, grateful that there was a towel hanging outside the shower. exhaling, you tossed your clothes outside the door, turning on the water. after adjusting the temperature to your liking, you stood underneath the stream, grateful for the warmth as it seeped into your skin.

the shower was just as elegant as the apartment, with glass doors and a steel shower head in the shape of a square. it was far better than the shower in your own apartment, as you didn’t have to worry about wasting hot water or any spiders. steam billowed into the space, hugging the doors of the shower, droplets of water condensing on the glass.

“i’m coming in to drop off some clothes,” the zabrak’s voice entered the room, “holy fuck do you always have the water this hot?”

“do you not?” you chuckled.

“it feels like a sauna in here,” he chuckled, teasing, “anyways, i’ll leave you be.”

letting out a content sigh, you turned the water off once he left. opening the door, your eyes scanned the space for the light switch. after a few seconds, you found it, flipping on the vent. hopefully that would help with the amount of steam that clung to every single item in the refresher.

on the counter, there was a black turtleneck, along with a pair of briefs. patting yourself dry, you slipped on the briefs first, then slid the turtleneck over your head. it was getting late, the clock on the counter reading 11:36 p.m. yawning, you pushed open the door, padding into the hall.

maul was nowhere to be found, a frown forming on your lips. where could he had run off to? surely he would’ve mentioned something to you. yet, your curiosity crept in, urging you to explore. holding your breath, you noticed a door, inferring that it was maul’s bedroom.

the door creaked as you tapped it, the draft pulling it open. inside, the floor was the same as it was, a king-sized bed in the middle, pushed against the wall, supported by a black wooden bed frame. there was a dresser, along with a walk-in closet. the most breathtaking aspect were the viewports, acting as a wall. the lights of coruscant glowed, the room overlooking the city. rain flowed down the viewports as thunder rumbled. you felt drawn to them, awestruck by the beauty of the sprawling city.

“you like the view?” your heart nearly leapt out of your chest.

“don’t scare me like that!” you pouted, folding your arms across your chest.

“don’t go snooping around,” maul smirked, matching your energy.

your heart thudded as his eyes drank in the sight of you, in his turtleneck. the sweater was a little large, hanging loosely in some areas. the briefs hugged your thighs, leaving nothing to the imagination. your nipples poked through the fabric of the sweater, the cool air sending a shiver running down your spine.

“gods,” he breathed, licking his lips, “i-i don’t know what to say.”

“i’m sorry for wandering off,” you mumbled, your cheeks hot as shame burned through you, “i didn’t mean to-”

“just stop,” maul shook his head, taking a step towards you, “just fucking stop. you have no need to apologize.”

the air in room crackled like the lightning outside as he took another step forward, an old t-shirt clinging to his torso, the same pair of grey joggers hanging loosely on his hips. your throat tightened as you noticed the way his chest rose and fell, the zabrak’s breathing ragged.

“it seems as if i can’t shake you off my mind,” he panted as the space between you dissolved, “lately, all of my thoughts have revolved about you.”

“what do you think about?” you swallowed thickly.

“do you want the hear the answer?” his face was merely centimeters away from yours, “or would you rather experience it?”

“i want both.”

his hand reached out, gently grasping your jaw. the touch was light, feathery as his fingers traced your heated skin. you melted, nearly collapsing to the floor.

the zabrak’s eyes glowed, the amber now hardened into a deep honey hue, almost a chestnut brown, “can i kiss you?”

you nodded, almost a little too quickly, “yes.”

a low, guttural growl dripped from his lips, “i couldn’t resist you before. but fuck as soon as i saw you in my clothes, i just can’t fucking take it any longer.”

the kiss was hungry, an open-mouth, lustful kiss. his lips crashed into yours, yearning to explore the taste of your mouth. the zabrak’s hands laced into your hair, tugging at the roots, gripping tightly. a whine echoed through the room as he sucked on your bottom lip, his tongue delving into your mouth. a hand slid down, resting on the nape of your neck, holding you steady as the kisses grew hungrier and hungrier.

“get on the bed,” he commanded, his tone thick with authority, a hand untangling itself from your hair and tugging on the hem of the turtleneck, “and take this off.”

the way the words rolled of his tongue struck you to your core, your folds growing slick as the anticipation grew. fingers wrapping around the hem, you tugged it off, your breasts bouncing. the zabrak practically groaned as he admired your exposed body, a hand palming his cock as it hardened, the outline prominent in the light.

obeying his order, you laid on the bed, your back hitting the soft comforter. maul slipped off the t-shirt, almost pouncing on top of you. pinning you down, his mouth connected with your neck, trailing sloppy kisses down, onto your collarbone.

“if only i could leave my mark on you,” his breath was hot, coming out in pants, “i would paint you like a canvas.”

“you can,” the words were a broken moan as his tongue dragged across your collarbone.

“oh?” you could feel his lip curved into a smile, “you want me to?”

“ye-” the reply was shortened as maul’s lips wrapped around nipple, his tongue flicking over the sensitive area.

his tongue drifted from your nipple to your flesh, nipping and sucking, a satisfied purr erupting from the zabrak as a rich burgundy mark appeared, “i hope you’re aware that you’re the most beautiful woman i have ever met.”

“i don’t think so.”

within seconds, his mouth was hovering over the waistband of the briefs, “you better fucking believe you are, (y/n).”

“i- oh my god,” the tearing of fabric rang off the walls as maul ripped the briefs off your frame.

“usually i take my time with this,” maul murmured, his gaze burning with lust, “but fuck i need you. i need to feel you take my cock.”

“please,” you whimpered, squirming as he parted your thighs.

“holy fuck. how are you so fucking wet? you’re soaking and i haven’t even touched you.”

the zabrak was appalled, a flash of awe painted across features as he took in the sight of your dripping core, your pussy aching. desire burned through your being, threatening to consume you whole. maker, you never knew you wanted someone this badly. exhilaration rushed through you with every touch, his fingers slipping between your folds.

“i’ve thought about you like this,” maul was enticed, almost in a trace as your juices coated his fingers, “i’ve thought about the way your body would be underneath mine, your eyes begging for me to fuck you till you can’t take it anymore.”

“i’ve thought about you in class.”

“in class?” his voice faltered, “(y/n), that’s sinful.”

“it’s not as sinful as how i’ve wanted you to fuck me for weeks,” your cheeks were flushed,.

“oh gods,” maul groaned as a finger entered you, “i’m going to make you mine.”

“please,” your hips bucked forward, his finger plunging further into you, “i want to be yours.”

“you’re going to be mine princess,” he purred, “i promise i’ll give you what you’ve been yearning for.”

hastily, the zabrak tugged his sweats off, kicking them to the floor. your nearly choked on your spit when his member sprang free from the constraint of the fabric. his cock was massive, the largest you had ever seen. yet, it wasn’t too large that you couldn’t take it. crimson and black patterns wove all around it, his shaft ribbed, precum dribbling down his length.

“tell me how much you need me,” his voice shifted from a coo to a growl as fingers wrapped around your throat, “tell me how badly you need professor maul to fuck you senseless.”

“i need you to fuck me,” the words were a broken whine.

“louder,” his grip tightened, “say it louder. i need to hear you.”

“i need professor maul to fuck me,” the words were enough to bring the zabrak to the edge, to make him unfold.

“good girl,” his tone oozed with praise, low and husky.

he lined his tip at your entrance, slowly inserting himself into you. maul’s hand loosened from your throat, gripping the headboard for leverage. your moans were breathy, laced with bliss as your walls expanded, wrapping around his cock.

“that’s such a good fucking girl,” maul leaned in, nipping at your ear, “you take my cock.”

the zabrak thrust into you, his tip brushing against your g-spot. throwing your head against the pillow, your body almost went limp, collapsing. the pleasure was overwhelming, burning through you like a fire. but maker, did you want more. you needed more.

maul watched as he fucked you, one hand steady on the headboard, the other on the mattress, gripping the sheets. he was plowing into you now, showing no mercy. the moans bouncing off the walls were rich and so loud, fueling his desire to keep going. the zabrak lost all inhibitions minutes ago, his thoughts blurred, eyes glossed over.

the way you felt was heavenly, every single thrust euphoric.

maker, was he losing control.

tightening his grip on the headboard, his knuckles were almost white. he was completely feral, unhinged, detached.

a horrid cracking filled the zabrak’s ears, and he glanced up towards the headboard. the wood split into two, a lengthy, crack down the middle, stemming from his hand.

“oh shit,” you gasped.

“look what you made me do, angel,” a smirk stretched across his lips, “you’re going to fucking pay for that.”

your nails dug into his shoulder blades as he slammed into you, balls slapping against skin. his cock throbbed, swelling. with every throb, your walls tightened, the pleasure building in your belly. eyes squeezing shut, you felt every inch of him buried in your soaking pussy, balls deep in you now.

“maul,” the zabrak nearly unfolded right there, “i’m going to cum.”

“let go baby,” his lips brushed against yours, “you can cum. cum for me.”

the orgasm racked your body, maul’s mouth connected with yours, the moans muffled. your thighs trembled, stars bursting in your vision, the pleasure almost blinding.

with no strength left, your body went limp, collapsing into the mattress.

his thrusts were more languid, sloppy with every stroke. maul came moments later, filling you up with it all.

“fuck,” he cursed under his breath, a sheen of sweat clinging to his body, “are you all right?”

“i’m fine,” your inner thighs buzzed, soreness creeping into the muscle.

every inch of skin the zabrak touched tingled, as if your body was savoring the memory.

maul cleared his throat, his cock still inside of you, “i kinda lost control.”

“kinda?”

“a little bit,” he chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead, “it’s been so long since i’ve last had sex. it doesn’t help that i’m in heat, either.”

“you’re in heat?” you pressed, brows furrowing.

“perhaps,” the color of his eyes returned to their normal hue, amber flowing into crimson, “let’s get you cleaned up. it’s late.”

“is it past the professor’s bedtime?” your tone was snarky.

“don’t tempt me to fuck you again. because we both know damn well that i will.”

glancing up, you noticed the broken headboard, “how much is that going to cost?”

the zabrak let out a huff as his cock slid out of you, drenched with a mixture of juices, “i don’t know. it’s the least of my concerns at the moment. stay here, and don’t move a muscle.”

swinging his legs over the mattress, maul strolled towards the refresher, retrieving a rag to clean up the mess that you made. you sunk into the bed, questions ringing through your mind.

yet, you couldn’t help but notice a prominent feature. in the light, the tattooed skin glowed. but there was something different about the way his thighs transitioned from flesh to an ashen metal.

maul’s legs were cybernetic.

and your curiosity about the zabrak, your professor, skyrocketed.

***

tagged: @sapphicstars , @maulieber , @starflyer-104 , @alwayshappysith , @doobiwankenooku , @magicalkitkat12 , @dartheldur , @princessayveke , @multifandombtch , @spaghetti-666 , @lis-ard , @swimmingsloths , @sithmando , @mother-0f-monsters

#darth maul #darth maul x reader #star wars #star wars x reader #maul #maul x reader #professor #au #darth maul smut #darth maul fluff

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orbitariums · 4 years

Text

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟒)

part three

note - i wanna thank everyone for reading once again! i'm currently in the process of writing imagines, those will be posted throughout the week, i don't want to clog up my blog bc i want y'all to see this chapter!

this one switches pov a lil more frequently, so bear with me <3 also not as smutty as other chapters, this is more of an emotionally-charged chapter!!! still a teensy bit smutty thooo. i want to make it clear that while this fic is definitely rooted in smut & sex & sex work, it is not porn without plot & will not ONLY be smut as i put effort and time into plot development / character development! i'm sure y'all know that tho. there will be conflict, there will be plot!!! i feel like that's clear already but there's discourse on smut happening rn and i wanna voice myself! omg anyways luv y'all enjoy the reaaad <3

new taglist!

playlist

word count - 8.3k

warnings - age gap, sex work, smut, vibrator, ANGSTYYY like hella dramatic, dirty talk

That slight shift that you and Steve both felt, that happiness that you realized came from talking to one another, only lasted so long... for you. You could hardly sit in your feelings about your situation with Steve before another thing that occupied all your time came crashing down upon you. Except this time, the thing brought you no such happiness or curiosity.

You had spent almost your entire senior year working on a special lab project about drought tolerant plants in Southern California where you lived and went to school, and your professor was making completing your project incredibly hard for you. And you felt incredibly stressed out about the entire situation - not only was the project necessary to graduate, but it was your heart and soul for the past year. Now, your professor was basically saying it was "ineligible."

"Ineligible?" Aaliyah repeated after you, after you told her what your professor had said.

"Whatever the hell that means," you huffed as you power walked down the street, hand in hand with Aaliyah, your free hand holding a coffee.

"That's so fucking annoying, holy shit," Aaliyah pressed a hand to her forehead. "He had the whole year to talk to you about changing your topic and...”

"And he never did," you sighed, frowning. You settled down onto a bench where the two of you sat next to each other, staring out into the busy streets and sipping your iced coffees.

California was a beautiful place, and you were a native, you'd lived there all your life. You knew the ins and outs of your city, knew Southern California like it was your backbone. And you loved it here - loved the sun, the beaches, the way the people were either shady in the best way or incredibly friendly. You'd never really known any other place like you knew this place. You were just glad that if you had to be stressed, you could do so in California.

Aaliyah pouted, feeling for you. She placed her hand on your knee to be comforting,

"Babe..."

"It's okay," you sighed. You sucked it up, like always, because you had learned how to fend for yourself ever since you realized that depending on others could only lead to downfall. You would figure this out the same way you figured everything else out... on your own. You figured out your house on your own, your job, your finances.

"Is it, though?" Aaliyah pursed her lips and squinted at you. Despite how much you tried to fend for yourself, Aaliyah was always there for you. She was one of your biggest supporters.

"I'll just keep visiting during his office hours and work this out."

Aaliyah rolled her eyes,

"Men are so annoying, girl. You know what, he probably wants to fuck you. With your fine ass. That's why he's doing all this."

You chuckled, shaking your head and covering your mouth, trilling back in response,

"Okay girl, don't get too ahead of yourself."

"I'm serious! Men are evil. Oh, except your fave."

You made a face, nearly choking on your iced coffee. This was news to you,

"Who are we talking about?"

"You know," Aaliyah sang slightly, nudging you and leaning against your shoulder. "Mr. Won't Show His Face."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, but bit down on your straw with a knowing smile, eyes peeking out over the top of your shades. If you were being honest, this idea of Steve, whoever he really was, had been a fun thing to entertain during this period of stress. You'd been talking and engaging with him for two and a half weeks now, and the connection you two had was undeniable.

But you knew better - maybe he wasn't just another customer, because you could really talk to him and felt like he was real - then again, he was strictly a customer. You liked him, a lot, but you couldn't like him any more than you already did. That would be dangerous and silly, and create unrealistic expectations. It wasn't like you could go on dates or anything.

Still, talking to him (and performing for him) did help to distract you from your stress, at least for a small amount of time. Steve was becoming less shy, less inhibited. He cracked jokes and was starting to keep up with your innate sense of sexuality, starting to navigate you, find you the way a bee might find its nectar, hidden deep inside the curvatures of a flower.

If you were a flower, you'd probably be a sunflower - bright, yellow, almost always in a positive mood, or at least trying to keep yourself in a positive mood. More than that though, sunflowers were tall and looming - you felt like that represented your put togetherness and how hard you worked, how smart you were. Only sometimes it was hard to keep yourself up and tall, but you always did it, time and time again.

But when it came to Aaliyah's comments about Steve, she mostly just made you laugh.

"Haven't seen him yet, have you?" Aaliyah asked, raising her brows expectantly.

"No. And I'm fine with that. He's simply another very loyal customer who I happen to like."

"Hm," Aaliyah hummed, and you could tell her mind was up to something - some very wishful, and mischievous thinking.

"What are you up to?" you narrowed your eyes at her and glared at her, and she just shook her head with a lazy smile,

"Nothing. Just thinking that maybe it would be cool if he really was this really hot guy that you actually knew and he wasn't creepy and y'all... you know... started dating. Just to get your mind off a lot of crap. I know, I know, strictly against the rules, blah blah blah. No feelings for customers, it's basic shit. But in a perfect world..."

"I know," you sighed without thinking, sipping at your drink.

"You know?" Aaliyah questioned, surprised.

You shrugged,

"So I've thought about it. Except, you know, in a perfect world, I'd meet a guy like Steve in like, a farmer's market or something. Not on my shady ass cam shows."

Aaliyah snorted laughing, and at the sound of her laughter, you joined in.

You continued,

"I mean, not Steve exactly, because that would be weird. I just mean, a guy like Steve."

"You mean a guy who makes you feel the same way he makes you feel," Aaliyah corrected you, and you glared at her again, pushing her gently.

"Don't push it," you teased, but you meant it - you might have liked Steve, but that was all there was to it - you liked him, he was a distraction. And maybe even that was too much.

✺ ✺ ✺

As for Steve, he thoroughly enjoyed his time with you. He thought constantly about how you made him feel, how much he looked forward to talking to you. How everyday, his worry about your situation becoming more serious dissipated slowly. He could feel himself easing into you, everything that made up this character you created called Moonrose. Conversation seemed casual, like you knew each other in real life, it felt easy, and there was no pressure.

As for your connection, he had finally acknowledged that it was real, and more than either of you had wanted to realize at first. But now, there was no shame, no worry in acknowledging what the two of you had, because you were both smart enough to keep it at this level. It was like a shallow pool. There would be no drowning.

He mostly talked to Bucky about you when it came to the emotional aspect of it. He still feared that if he talked to Tony, it might come across as an issue, and might put a pause on what he had with you. But everyone noticed how different Steve was acting. Even without the phase he had gone through where he was sexually frustrated and angry, he still acted different.

Lighter on his feet, more smiley. And he was always on top of his work. You weren't distracting him from his duty, so that made the fact that he knew you had a unique connection with him more bearable. Because of you, he was learning to worry less. To have a little more fun.

It was a bright day that week, the sun filtering in through the large windows of the meeting room where everyone was gathered. Steve was engaging in some mindless conversation with Sam and Bucky in which they were debating whether or not pineapple belonged on pizza.

"No. I'm not sure why everyone keeps trying to put all these twists on pizza. It's pizza," Bucky scoffed, Sam rolling his eyes as a result.

"You're just closed off. With your old ass," Sam retorted, and Steve made a face. Sam raised his hands up in surrender. "You know what I mean. What about you Steve?"

Honestly, Steve had never even tried pineapple on pizza and he didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about the banal question.

"I don't really have an opinion," he shrugged, not expecting Sam and Bucky to start clamoring over him and trying to force him to pick a side.

Before he even got to grasp the situation, he felt Natasha patting his shoulder,

"Hey, mind if I use your laptop? Mine's gone haywire, don't really feel like messing with it right now."

"Yeah," Steve agreed without a second thought, setting his laptop on the table and letting Natasha handle it- she was better with tech stuff than he ever was.

Natasha would use his laptop to showcase some data and start off their morning. It seemed innocent enough —a simple, barely impacting sacrifice. But Steve clearly hadn't thought everything through, because the moment Natasha logged in and hooked up Steve's computer to the holographic projector, more than just data appeared on the screen.

In fact, a whole array of women, all of them engaging in various sexual acts or preparing themselves to, showed up on the screen. And at the top, where the browser was, were the words "girlsonfilm.com."

Steve hadn't noticed all the clamor, too busy thinking (thoughts of you and thoughts of work), until Bucky called it to his attention.

"Steve," he nudged him frantically, his voice a loud whisper.

When Steve looked up at the screen, his face couldn't have gone any redder. He hadn't thought about this at all, and he had clearly forgotten to close out his browser. His heart sunk all the way to his stomach - because it wasn't just Natasha seeing this, it was everybody. And that included Tony, who was glaring pointedly at Steve from the head of the table. Meanwhile, all the others were too busy heckling Natasha and making brash comments about what was appearing onscreen. To Steve's relief, your face didn't show up, but this just might have been worse than only your screen appearing.

"Woah, Nat, I didn't know you got down like that!" Sam hooted, cupping his mouth with his hands.

Natasha, though she was in shock as well, rolled her eyes,

"This is Steve's laptop."

Now a hush, then another clamor of confusion and heckling, all directed towards Steve. He couldn't recoil any more, feeling the pangs of embarrassment as his eyes flashed between every one of his teammates. He felt as if there were an asteroid approaching fast, and he was right where it would land, too slow to move out of its way.

"Steve, what do you know about 'girls on film'?" Sam nearly cackled, reading the name of the site.

Steve sighed deeply, locking eyes with Natasha as he mouthed "turn it off" to her.

"I am, I am," she ensured him, quickly disconnecting the laptop from the projection, unplugging completely.

A beat passed, everyone staring expectantly at Steve, who was staring down at the table, trying to process his own thoughts. Like for starters, why didn't he log out the last time, and why didn't he remember to log out? And then his mind went to deeper places. He hadn't been intentionally secretive with his actions, but he had been intentionally private. It had to do with his own growth, he was learning how to navigate a world that was new to him and somehow helping him at once. He didn't want to have to share this with everyone, it was nice having this to himself, he had no intentions of revealing what he had been doing in his past time that made him so happy.

One of the reasons he didn't want everyone to know about his situation was because he didn't want to have to be concerned with what everyone else might think. Because to begin with, being on a site for cam shows wasn't exactly everyone's idea of what Captain America might be up to these days.

It was a matter of his image, what values he was supposed to hold. This didn't exactly match, and Steve had just gotten over the idea that he was a bad, sneaky person because of what he chose to indulge in. At least here he knew it was ethical and not causing harm to you as a human being.

He also didn't want to have to deal with the insufferable questioning and teasing his team would put him through, or the judgment he thought they might put him through. He felt embarrassed, exposed, and like he had been ill prepared for a situation like this. He was just grateful they hadn't seen more, because that would've been a disaster. What they had seen was only at the surface level of what he'd been doing.

But his thinking was interrupted by Tony's voice, which broke through all the silence, and made Steve realize again the eyes that were on him.

"Well, jig's up," Tony sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Care to explain?"

Steve locked eyes with Tony, as if hopeful that he wouldn't have to, but he knew it was best for him to just spit it out. Tony shrugged apologetically, and Steve took in a deep sigh, looking around at everyone at the table.

"What was that?" Scott whimpered, probably the most distraught by what they had all seen.

Steve nodded solemnly and began to explain himself. He would tell the truth, but that didn't mean he had to tell them everything. You would be left out of this, if anything. He'd just explain to them that sometimes, duty calls - and sometimes, it's not at all work-related.

✺ ✺ ✺

It was just hours before your cam show when another disaster struck, the first one being the fact that your professor was giving you shit about your project. You were in the bathroom, getting ready for your show, fixing your hair up and doing your makeup, laying out an outfit, doing all the things you did to feel pretty before a show.

Your phone lay beside you on the bathroom table, pinging with messages every now and then. You ignored it, leaning closer into the mirror to get a look at your lipstick, dabbing your fingers into the pigment on your lips.

You smiled, feeling that gratifying sense of achievement. Despite what was going on with your professor, you felt like you were doing well in life. You usually had a positive mindset, enjoyed your work although you sometimes felt as if you were buried deep in all your occupations: student, office worker, cam girl, designer, young woman. Your life was never dull, and you wouldn't trade it for anything. Talking to Steve helped too, but it was more than that.

But that sense of satisfaction all seemed to dissolve when you looked down at your phone, and saw a text from an unsaved number, glaring bright on your glowing lock screen of you hiking with Aaliyah. Still, you recognized it immediately.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

I miss you. Text me back.

✺ ✺ ✺

Steve wasn't exactly keen on joining your live show today, but he did so anyway, because he still had time to himself despite the spiral of events that had happened earlier. There was nothing else to do, and he didn't want to miss out on you after attending almost all of your shows for the past almost three weeks. Didn't want to just leave unexpectedly.

It felt strange that he felt this tug of commitment, but he brushed it off. He was just fulfilling his needs, which should even be expected of him. He was stressed again, after being caught up like he was. And maybe that was all the more reason not to watch your show tonight, but he wouldn't devoid himself of the simple pleasures of life. He'd learned that lesson a while ago, from a special someone called Moonrose.

After everything transpired, he explained himself calmly to his team, slowly to ensure that they'd understand that this wasn't the beginning of a deviant phase, that he wasn't throwing away his work responsibilities to lurk on the NSFW side of the internet. Not that they ever thought that to begin with, they never questioned his abilities or his authority for a minute, not even in the midst of what they'd seen that had shocked them.

This was the product of Steve's own insecurities and his admittedly silly fear that he was somehow letting his team down. He told them that he was on the site, as recommended by Tony, to relieve some "frustration" that he felt he didn't have the time or the means to release in real life. He said that while it had helped him do that, he wasn't throwing away his responsibilities, nor was he dependent on the site or the things on it, or the people on it for that matter.

He knew that if they knew about you, all those private sessions, all those conversations you'd had, the connection you had built between the two of you, it might be a different story. But because they didn't, they appreciated his honesty. They were confused, it didn't seem like the kind of thing Steve would be into, and he ensured them that it was a shock to him as well.

But they didn't mind on the whole, it was just a shock to everyone at first. They didn't think it called for a meeting, thought it was almost humorous how serious Steve was being about such a trivial situation. Wanda had joked about how we've all been there, Thor denied ever having to do such a thing because: "I have all the romantic partners anyone could ask for. I could introduce you Steve, but these Asgardian women are fiery, far beyond anything I believe you could handle." In the end, Steve was relieved, felt like it didn't have the disastrous outcome he'd been expected.

But he could feel his guard slowly coming back up. That was a close call, and it was a little too close for comfort. He didn't want to disregard you, but he couldn't afford to sink further in, and get his team involved. He just didn't want to face the consequences he could imagine if they knew how much he decided to stick with you, how much you talked, how it was teetering off the range of normal customer to cam girl interaction.

It wasn't like he was careless when it came to his interactions with you, but he also didn't want his team to know about his business when it came to you. He didn't want them thinking he was engaging too much, didn't want it to get to the point where he was worrying again or felt like he needed to deny himself such wonderful feelings.

All these things were on his mind while he waited for your live show to start. When it did, and he saw your face, he felt a little bit alleviated. Just for now, he could have this fantasy to himself. If they knew about the site, so be it. At least he had you to himself.

"Hey guys," you mustered a smile, waving to the camera.

Unbeknownst to your viewers, you had spent the past few hours off camera panicking, on the verge of tears, calling Aaliyah frantically so she could help calm you down. That text from that mysterious unknown number had been from your ex's number. The same ex who made you fall into dependency patterns that you worked so hard to get out of, the one who made you feel like you had to work for his love. Like it wasn't something you deserved, just like anyone else.

You had worked so hard to finally wring out all the effects of him, all the bad habits you had fallen into because of him. That was part of the reason why you worked so hard. Not because you were actively avoiding him specifically, but because you were actively bettering yourself. You weren't looking for a relationship. But you knew that if you were in one now, the same things would never happen to you.

When you got that text, it triggered a flood of memories. Feelings you had to work to suppress and actually get over for months so you wouldn't fall back into the same desperate, needy patterns when it came to your relationships with people. All over a simple text from someone you hadn't heard from in almost a year. It hurt you how easy it was to get you to crack, even if you didn't spill out all the way. But on top of the added stress because of school, you were damn close.

You would do the show tonight, anyway. It helped you to escape, although Moonrose was a part of you, it didn't one hundred translate into real life. So in a way, this helped you escape real life. Just for a while. Just like Steve.

You grinned when you saw concerned comments from your watchers:

johnGuy182

Are you okay, moonrose? You seem a little sad.

zenongirl

Girl r u ok? i missed seeing your face!!!

"Guys, I'm okay," you grinned. And you actually felt better seeing comments from your supporters. It reminded you to cheer up - they were looking for a good show, not a sob story. You leaned back, revealing your stomach in the sheer, sparkly fringed bra you chose to wear (another piece you had designed by yourself). "It's been a looong day."

Steve watched silently, observing your behavior. He didn't notice drastic changes, but you did appear less chipper. Then again, he brushed it off. He didn't expect you to be smiley all the time, you were human too, and this was your work.

"But I'm okay," you reassured, giving that signature grin, genuine and charming and alluring. You were trying to gently distract yourself, get into your act. "I hope you're all just as lovely as I am. I have a special game for you today."

You directed your viewers to your spinning wheel, which you had been working on crafting that week for a game. You grinned as you spinned it. Each act on the wheel cost a certain amount of tokens, and by the end of the game you would garner a bunch of funds. The show went by relatively quickly as you played the game, eventually ending up completely naked.

As ordered by the spinning wheel, you were to use a vibrator. You held it against your clit at the highest setting as you watched the numbers of viewers and the tokens jump up, Steve watching as he stroked himself leisurely. Your legs shook as you restrained yourself from your orgasm so as to increase the length of your showtime, garner more coins to encourage you to come.

"Mm," you moaned, massaging the vibrator against your clit, getting wetter and slicker by the minute, sliding the toy between your folds. You laughed, breathless. "Fuck, this thing is so powerful. Someone make me come, please make me come. Just a few more tokens for me to come for you."

Steve was hesitant, but he decided to go ahead and give you the amount of tokens you needed. And when you heard the chime of the tokens being added to your account, and saw the name it was attached to, it was like a blast of euphoria. When your legs started to shake, when you started to moan and your stomach started to rise up and down, it was genuine. It was like you were back in a private room with him, although you weren't.

Your orgasm was blood-curdling in the best way, and you felt like you were releasing part of the stress of the past day, the past week. It didn't get any realer than this, once again you felt like he was really there to satisfy you.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, your mouth dropping open and your blood flowing, moaning. "Yes, Steve, I'm coming for you. Thank you for making me come, Steve!"

Steve had been stroking himself along with you as he watched, and only let himself come now that you had come, his cheeks heating up as he heard you moan his name, something he hadn't been expected. Something about you saying his name like that where everyone could hear, even though he enjoyed the intimacy of private rooms, felt victorious. It felt lewd, salacious, but he couldn't help but enjoy that aspect of it. He moaned through grit teeth while he came, stroking himself to completion.

You came down, thanking everyone for attending and ending the show. But it wasn't long after that you had requested Steve for a private chat. He accepted, because he had gotten used to you doing this a little more frequently. It didn't scare him any more, he just thought of it as making conversation, taking advantage of this connection you had with each other. So when you requested, who was he to say no.

When the chat log opened, you put on your best happy face for Steve, trying to conceal how fatigued this week, today in particular, had made you. But your tired, bleak voice gave it all away, buried deep beneath your smile,

"Hey, Steve."

Steve was surprised at the sound of your voice. Again, while he understood that you wouldn't be a happy go lucky fairy like personality all the time, he wasn't expecting this. You were smiling, but the weariness in your eyes was hard to miss. And your voice, which usually told light hearted tales, sounded worn down as if from tragedy. He was concerned, his eyebrows furrowed gently,

"Hi. How are you?"

"I'm good!" you exclaimed, trying your hardest to really sound "good."

But you were just tired. Tired and sad, and scared - scared of what the future had to hold. You were already dealing with school stress, and the text from your ex-boyfriend was like a bad omen, an anxiety-provoking assurance that things actually would not get better and they would in fact get progressively worse. You weren't even sure why you thought you should be talking to Steve if you were tired and just wanted to sleep off the weight of the week. It would be a weekend tomorrow, and one of your very rare days off.

Maybe you figured that you wanted to talk to him despite your fatigue, because conversation with Steve was a nice distraction. You had let yourself forget that this was still your job, and that you were too tired for anything sexual — you knew he liked talking to you, but you hadn't put into consideration the fact that he might request a sexual act from you. You would be burnt out if he did. The fact that you didn't think about that should've been telling, but your brain was too scattered to think straight.

Anyway, Steve called your bluff, and laughed quietly, his voice inquiring and pressing,

"How are you really?"

That was all it took to get a deep sigh to come from out of you, all it took to allow yourself to show your true feelings, at least the surface of them, what you felt comfortable showing a customer. You felt a sense of relief and gratefulness for Steve, like he was letting you breathe. And if anything, he especially wasn't enlisted to listen to your problems. But he wanted to, and for that you felt foolishly grateful.

Steve noted the deep sigh that came from out of you, and he frowned slightly. He could tell you had been holding this in for a while, and some part of him felt remorse for the fact that even though you clearly weren't in the right mindset, you went on and did your show anyway. He felt some guilt for being a part of the reason why you did your show.

You answered, allowing your voice to be as honest as possible.

"Honestly?" you chuckled a little, albeit bitterly. "I don't know if you really want to hear me rant to you."

Steve shook his head.

"Don't be silly," he grinned. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to."

You felt a warm rush in your chest from the reassurance, and the corner of your lip quirked up in a small smile, before you decided to dive in. You'd spare the emotional details, spare your private life. But it would be nice to talk to someone, just about the general things, right?

"Well, it's been a pretty stressful week, honestly. I mean, school's been the main source of my stress. My professor's such an asshole, he's basically been telling me my entire senior project, which I need to complete to graduate, needs to be redone? And I can't even fathom how I would have enough time to do that with like, two and a half months left of my senior year. I mean, he said I can keep most details, but I'd have to rework it, whatever that means."

You kept your emotions at bay, sighing in annoyance just at the story you told, because it really was irritating you. But then you felt deeper things, even more went into why you really were upset.

Steve nodded, just listening. He was prepared to offer advice, but in your situation, he thought that maybe just letting you rant would be best.

"That's gotta be annoying," he shook his head understandingly. "Whatever your project is, I'm sure it's wonderful. He shouldn't be forcing you to rework it or make any last minute changes."

"I know!" you nearly jumped up, feeling amped up now. "And it's just so fucking annoying because I work so hard and I'm really passionate about this project and it just feels like..."

It felt like you were about to overflow, like a pot of water that had been left on for too long. You were ranting almost uncontrollably now, maybe because of the fact that it was more than this that was tugging at you. Because you'd been carrying the weight of your life on your shoulders all the time, like Atlas carrying the sky, and it felt like that weight was finally starting to mean something.

Steve could see you were unraveling and he let you, he let you take the time you needed to feel everything you had been holding. If your connection was strong, it was at its strongest here. Sure, you and Steve chatted about a little bit of everything, even had deeper conversations here and there as the weeks went by. But you had yet to genuinely complain to him, because every time you spoke with him, you were happy go lucky Moonrose, with nothing to complain about to begin with. But now, you needed a release by any means, and you were just glad Steve was there for you, even if he wasn't really there. How unlike you to unfold in front of strangers.

Your breath stuttered as you took in a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm down, only further driving yourself into your rambling. You felt yourself tear up, your voice becoming watery as you continued,

"It just feels like all my work is turning to shit, and it's so fucking frustrating because I work so hard all the time, I do so much and I manage so much all the time."

The "hard work" you were talking about wasn't just school and work-related, it pertained to your journey, and how hard you had worked to be a better person. To support yourself. The emotions pent up inside of you, they were more than just being upset over a school project. The idea of someone toxic trying to re-enter your life, someone who had forced you to rework the entirety of your life, made you feel like you were on the verge of crashing. You knew better, but you didn't want to return to those dark days, where the light at the end of the winding tunnel that was your relationship seemed so far away. It was why you were so weary of relationships today. It was crazy how one person could change your life so easily.

Now you were crying, before you even noticed that you were crying. Tears just seemed to leak out of your eyes, sloshing wet and sudden against your cheeks and underneath your lashes. You wiped them away quickly with the back of your hand, frazzled at the fact that you were crying in front of a customer right now. Steve said he'd listen to you, he didn't say he'd watch you cry and be your therapist. You instantly regretted it, although you couldn't stop yourself, tears threatening to emerge again. If you were cracked before, you were spilling now.

Steve was surprised too, at the fact that you were crying. You appeared so put together to him, it was almost something he didn't expect from you. He was in shock at first, so much so that professionalism was not on his mind - it was an afterthought. Right now, instead of wondering if this was appropriate, he was occupied with you.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, but you still hadn't stopped, tears falling out as you blinked. Composure was nothing now, you were sobbing, your shoulders slumped and your head hung as you sniffled. Still you enforced control, wiping away every tear that fell with the back of your hand. "I'm really sorry, I don't mean to cry to you over this, that's so-"

Steve cut you off, shaking his head slowly,

"It's okay to cry, doll. We all have those days. I know better than anyone that we all have those days."

You mustered a smile, feeling cared for, feeling accounted for by someone who wasn't even obligated to have to see you like this. Still you shook your head, sniffling,

"I know. But it's-it's stupid, I shouldn't be crying in front of you."

"I'm not judging you," Steve said, so nonchalantly and firmly, so genuine that it almost scared you.

You blinked. He should've cared, and he should've judged you. To cry in front of Steve, a customer, was to imply he had some duty to comfort you when he probably just wanted a show. You knew that you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, but even you had rules when it came to what your customers got to see, and to you, that meant they didn't have to deal with your blues.

"Really?"

"Really," he reassured you with a nod.

Was Steve scared that by giving you this reassurance, this entire situation could become deeper than either of you could handle? Yes. But did he let himself shut down because of those pervasive thoughts that he might get himself into trouble? No. He didn't see you as a liability right now. Right now, even though the situation was certainly questionable (and this was something he had no doubt about. When emotions get into the mix, things could get tricky- he knew this), he saw you as someone who desperately needed someone to talk to. Maybe it wasn't smart of you to make him that someone, but regardless, he was, and who was Steve Rogers not to listen to a person in need?

You blinked away the last of your tears and swallowed hard. You were making this choice consciously, to tell Steve what had really gotten you to your breaking point. And maybe telling him meant you had trust in him, maybe too much trust for someone who, while great, was still a customer. But you felt like there was nothing you could lose from telling him. Maybe you'd even feel better after the fact.

You looked down, picking at the body glitter on your arm that you had applied before the show. Your voice was considerably quieter now perhaps because you were looking back on the moment with a clear mind for the first time since it happened. You hadn't been thinking straight ever since you received the text just hours ago. Now your brain was a little quieter with the help of your tears and Steve's reassurance.

"I think that the stress of this school project is making me resent how hard I work for everything, just to be met with this kind of result, you know? And it's even worse when... things seem to be going backwards. You know, like when you make so much progress, moving on from things that don't serve you, and you've finally done it and you get to flourish in it and then, it just gets taken away from you. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but that's just how this feels."

Steve nodded, his jaw ticking as he let your words settle in. Somehow, although your situation was so different from his, he felt like your words perfectly described how he felt with the world sometimes. It was even part of the reason he'd held off on talking to you like this, held off on getting too involved. He too had made so much progress in this world, which took so much getting adjusted to in a way that absolutely nobody else could relate to.

It was a world that he didn't even know, a world that he had never been properly introduced to. He'd had to fend for himself. He did his healing on his own, just like you had. And yet sometimes it felt like he had no control, like the universe was going the opposite way of all his plans. Then he felt stupid for even having plans to begin with, because in life, making plans was like comedy for the gods.

There was a weird feeling in his chest and stomach, like he'd been stabbed with a gutting realization, and the knife was just turning inside of him, churning his insides. He began to feel a sense of unease, because this deep conversation was beginning to feel incredibly personal. Even though you were talking about your own situation, he couldn't help but think about how much he resonated, and the fact that he felt like he could relate to you on such a deep level scared him. This was more than the conversations you'd had before, more than the simple similarities you and Steve shared. This felt like a conversation that might be too telling for his good and your own.

He swallowed his words as he listened to you continue. You chose your words carefully, but you had shed yourself of your inhibitions when it came to being truthful.

"Earlier... I heard from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time. And it kind of pushed me over the edge," out of your mouth stumbled a laugh. You were calmer now, and looked up at the camera, Steve swallowing hard when you did so. It was all so real, just like it was when you touched yourself and moaned Steve's name. "I think it just made me feel all those things I just explained. Because I feel like I worked so hard to rid myself of this person and them trying to come back just feels like all the things I worked so hard on are going to unravel. Even though I know they aren't, it feels like a setback. And that was like, the icing on the cake to this already terrible day, I guess."

You let out a breathy laugh and smiled gently, shaking your head slowly.

"I normally wouldn't be telling this to a customer. But here we are. Again, I'm sorry... I feel like I shouldn't have said anything? Should I... have said anything?"

In the brief silence that followed your question, both you and Steve were thinking the same thing - were you going to regret this? Intimacy both physically and emotionally was good when you capped it at what you both knew to be appropriate. When it came to the physical aspects, you each let your fantasies unwind.

And on the emotional aspect, though you had both grown closer and more open, some things just didn't get touched upon. But now you had just cried over the screen, and spoke from the depths of your heart. It was scary to open up in such an uncertain situation where your own privacy was an aspect that got involved. There was no doubt that it was too much. It was just a question of whether the result would be negative.

Steve sighed deeply, a crease forming in his forehead as he furrowed his brows together, folding his arms over his chest.

"I don't know..." he trailed off, took a breath, a leap, his body practically lurching forward. "But... it can't be a bad thing that you feel comfortable talking to me about this, can it?"

And there it was, that glint of hope he was trying his hardest to conceal. That feeling he got when he got off that call with you, the one where you both started giving into those unspoken thoughts. That this couldn't be so bad, that you could enjoy each other's company without worrying.

You smiled gently,

"I guess. It does feel weird though, it's not something I normally do. It feels like something I shouldn't be doing."

You could hear Steve breathing in deeply, and for a moment, you imagined what he might look like, envisioning the outline of a troubled face, eyebrows knit together. You snapped back to reality and made a face, confused by your abrupt thoughts. You had long gotten over the very brief desire to see Steve's face- why was it coming back again?

"I'll be honest, same here," Steve agreed with your sentiments.

"Do you always feel like you have to restrain what you say when you talk to people? Or is it just with me?" you added that last part in a quiet voice, biting your lip.

Steve chuckled briefly,

"Are you asking me if I have trust issues? Because I'd tell you, but I'd have to trust you to do that."

You shook your head and laughed at Steve's stupid joke, and shrugged.

"I could say the same thing, I think. This person I heard from earlier is... I developed those trust issues because of them. Or, my already existent trust issues became worse. But what's funny about it is that this person was once someone that I loved," even as the words were coming out you questioned why you were letting them, why you were allowing yourself to be so truthful in a situation like this at a time when you were so vulnerable.

Steve didn't reply, again feeling that sick feeling in his stomach that stemmed from his fear. The fear that this conversation were too serious, fear surrounding the fact that he was able to relate so much to such a personal situation of yours.

You spoke again, daring to ask the question that felt like a final blow to Steve's stomach,

"Have you ever been in love, Steve?"

Now Steve knew he was in uncharted territory. Not because he feared you might try to exploit him, but because he was so struck by the fact that he had allowed himself to feel so safe with you and get so close to you. He was surprised at himself for letting you feel safe enough to have these kinds of conversations with him. It all felt like a mistake now. He wanted a way out, any way out. He knew if he even attempted to answer that question, he would be making a big mistake. He had shared some of his most intimate moments with you, but always keeping in mind a very sharp line he didn't want to be crossed.

And in his mind, he thought of the one love he'd had, the one love that hadn't been fulfilled because of the situation he had been thrown into, one he had never signed up for. He thought of how the things he cared most for in life had been discarded, how, like you, he felt like it had gone to shit. How sometimes, though he tried his best to be grateful and had taken that journey of self-healing just like you, it all felt like some sick joke.

Could he even call it love? He wasn't sure. And he wasn't going to answer. He wasn't going to answer at all, because he wouldn't be talking to you again. There would be no chance for this dilemma to resurface, not with you, not on this site. He made the decision with haste and a heavy heart - he was done here.

The discomfort was well evident in his voice, answering loud and clear, though his voice was morose and a bit closed off. You sensed the shift immediately.

"I... I can't talk about that right now. Listen, I have to go."

You felt a pang in your chest at the sudden switch in his demeanor, straightening up and trying not to frown. All this time you had been letting the words spill out, telling yourself not to worry so much, reassuring yourself it was okay to make your feelings known. Now it felt like you should've never said anything at all. You started to stammer.

"Oh, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I was just... I feel like I got a little overwhelmed." You laughed nervously. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Steve felt his throat ran dry as he blinked, feeling emotions come up to surface that he wasn't quite familiar with. Maybe he was grieving in advance, regretting the decision he was making to no longer speak with you, regretting the fact that he was letting fear get in the way of what he wanted so badly to be a good thing.

"No, I'm sorry. I feel like I let things go too far," Steve apologized, but the apology felt more like an insult.

Was he implying that whatever this was, you couldn't handle it, and that it was his fault for somehow leading you on? You had both made the connection with each other, it was an equal effort. And why was he acting like the two of you communicating at all was somehow below him, somehow a risk? If anything, you were the one risking it just by talking to him the way you did. You were opening up to him.

You almost felt betrayed - you had convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to listen to your problems and you told yourself it wasn't his responsibility to listen. And then he listened anyway, told you that he wanted to hear it, and you cried to him. You felt like you had made so many unusual accommodations just for him to scare off like this. He was just another person you had expressed your feelings to, only to regret it in the end.

"Too far?" you questioned, furrowing your brows.

Steve swallowed. In your voice he could hear a hint of frustration, but even worse- hurt. It pained him more than he cared for you to know.

"I don't think we should talk anymore," he said instead.

"What?" you were taken by surprise. "Steve, I'm... I'm not understanding. I... I don't usually open up to people like this, I mean, I thought maybe it was fine here, because I feel like I know you. But you're still a stranger. I understand you're a customer but I thought we were talking, I thought we broke through that wall-"

"We did. And we shouldn't have," Steve said, his voice so calm and firm that it was almost cold.

By now you were just staring into the computer camera, as if you were looking at him and waiting for him to come to his senses. But as you did that, you slowly came to your own. Because you weren't looking at him. You were looking at a black screen with his voice behind it. You realized you hadn't known Steve, not enough to talk about these things. And just like him, you too were full of regret. You kept all those walls up for the sake of customer relations, only to put them down and be met with this disastrous result.

Steve almost couldn't bare to look at your face anymore. You were confused, hurt. He could tell you regretted the fact that you had opened up. He was hurt too, but he wouldn't show it, or let it overcome him to the point where your methods of communication with each other became something neither of you could control. Still, yes, he was hurt.

But he had been through plenty of hardships in life. What was one more, even if it shouldn't have come to this point anyway?

"I'm sorry, Moonrose. We can't. Goodbye."

Chat over.

#steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers reader insert #reader insert #smut #captain america civil war #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america smut #captain america #girls on film #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel smut #marvel reader insert #steve rogers series #captain america series

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ourkarlanicoleuniverse · 3 years

Text

Sweet Nothing (MHA Staff AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 20

Warnings: Mostly sfw, slight nsfw (Mentions sexual assault and mental health), Slight Angst.

Pairing: Shouta Aizawa x OC (Mai Montoya, Pro Hero Zion)

If you want to read of the events before this chapter here is the Master List 😊

As I looked through the exam replays while making notes about how Aizawa should tackle their training during the camp, a small cup of coffee was placed to my left, with red painted nails over the lid. I look over my shoulder to meet with a ruby red grin.

“I figured since it’s a little chilly in here, I would get you something different from your usual. Mic and Aizawa mentioned you liked hot white chocolate mochas with vanilla sweet foam and cocoa powder. Said it tasted like tiramisu cake to you.” She gave a small shrug while I reached over for the drink.

“Why the treat giving all of a sudden?” I took a sip, and my lips were immediately met with the toasted coffee-flavored sweetness. I hummed a little in delight.

“You haven’t gotten up from your desk nor stopped looking at your screen for a good two hours. I figured you needed a small something to break you away.”

“Oh… thanks. I just wanted to review everything from the exams and make sure I got all of this to Aizawa before he takes the kids to the camp.”

“You’re not going?”

“Vlad and Aizawa mentioned it was best that the least amount of people knew the location of the training camp to make sure students were safe. To be fair, I would like a little break. Sometime in the week, I am expecting a video conference about my license status this upcoming Monday. I got an email about it earlier.”

“Well, that’s good to hear. It's been months. They should’ve been giving you an update sooner.” Kayama sneered in disapproval.

“Yeah… so I kind of need a break from the students for at least a day.” I looked over to Kayama, who looked a little worried. “I promise I won’t be worrying too much about it. Or overwork myself trying to get this stuff done.”

“That’s not what I am worried about. Isn’t Gemini supposed to be in the meeting since he’s in charge of the agency you were working with?” She bit her cheek nervously, bringing up Gemini.

I sighed, “I’m trying not to think about it right now. I just want to think about the fact that I am one meeting closer to having my suspension lifted.”

“I just don’t want him to humiliate you or do something that will prevent your suspension from ending, that’s all. He was already harassing you despite it being against the court’s ruling.” She rubbed my back comfortingly.

“And I changed my number to get it to stop, so it’s fine. I can handle it.” I gave her a smile.

“Oh, okay, but just know if anything happens, I’m always here for you. You can always just stay here and continue working in Japan.” She rubbed my shoulder and made her way out of the office. “I’ll be with Snipe. If you need anything, text me.” She winked and sauntered off.

I continued typing out my worksheet for a little longer until my eyes grew tired and strained. I switched from my earbuds to Mic’s headphones so I wouldn’t get any interruptions. Clearly, someone didn’t get the memo when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I swiveled around in my chair to see Aizawa and Vlad hovering over me. I took Mic’s headphones off slowly as I looked at them in confusion, “Yes?”

“We decided that it would be a good idea to have you help us train the students in the training camp,” Aizawa spoke up with his files in hand and a bored expression.

“That is if you want to come,” Vlad added with an apologetic smile.

I blinked and looked between the two. “You decided without talking to me?”

“We’re talking right now.” Aizawa pointed.

I pushed my glasses up my nose and sighed, “I meant that you should’ve given me a heads up. First, I was sitting for hours making a whole report about tackling the students’ training. If it was in question for me to come, I wouldn’t have been wasting my time. Plus, you both need to know whether I am free enough to even go in the first place.”

Vlad rubbed the back of his neck, “That’s what I was telling Eraser when he brought it up.”

“Your schedule is free all throughout the summer break. What could you be possibly-”

“I have a meeting about my suspension Monday morning.” I interrupted Aizawa. Annoyance laced in my voice. “Don’t assume I have nothing to do.”

Aizawa closed his mouth and tensed up his jaw. He always did that when he knew he messed up and looked like an ass.

I shut my eyes, “Where is the location? And does it have wifi?” I can always just work around my meeting.

Aizawa gave me a folder with the name of the location and the owners of the location. I looked at him, “The Wild Wild Pussycats?”

“They’re friends of mine.” Aizawa defended.

“I swear to God, Aizawa if they’re furries…”

“They’re not furries!”

------------------------------

They were low-key furries…

As the students were forced to get to the Wild Wild Pussycats headquarters on their own, much to my dismay, I was attempting to use Aizawa’s hotspot to connect to my meeting. Aizawa and his friend Mandalay and her teammates were silently and awkwardly watching me stress out refreshing my laptop.

“Please work, please work, please work,” I mumbled mainly to myself.

“Is she usually like this?” I heard Mandalay said to Aizawa.

“Eh… depends on the situation. With hero work, she’s pretty calm and collective.” Aizawa responded.

“I would be nervous too if I was about to miss a meeting about my license.” Ragdoll chimed in.

Ding “You are now in the chat!”

“Yes! Oh, thank God!” I squealed in relief.

“Ms. Montoya? Is everything alright?” An old masculine voice came out of my laptop.

“Oh, yes, sorry. I was having connection problems… How are you today, Mr. Malcolm?” I smiled brightly even though I was ready to implode.

“Yes, I am doing well, thank you. Um, where are you currently?” The man’s bushy grey eyebrows furrowed together.

“Hehehe, I am on a bus on my way to a training camp for my hero course students. I couldn’t get out of coming since I was their counselor. I hope you don’t mind this.” I scratched the back of my neck.

“No, it’s alright, just happy to see you were able to work this meeting in with your schedule. I hope you are enjoying your time in Japan. The rest will be joining us in a moment. If you don’t mind, can you wear any earbuds or headphones? That way, the meeting stays confidential.”

I nodded, “Of course, sir. Just give me a second while I find…” I shuffled around to my purse to look for my Bluetooth earbuds but struggled to find them. The next thing I knew, they were in my face. I looked up to see Aizawa holding them out for me. “Thank you. Alright, I have them now.”

Shortly the rest of the people showed up at the meeting. The last person being Gemini. He looked extremely pleased to be in the meeting, which made me nervous. Which was probably the point. I stayed silent as they read over my file and my case. It had everything from when I enrolled in U.A. to my internships all the way to my job right now as a counselor. “So, from the updates, we have gotten from your boss Nezu and your coworker and pro hero Eraserhead, it seems that you have been following the guidelines of your suspension, which is good to hear. However, there seems to be this information about these phone calls that Gemini wanted to address.” Oh no… it was hard to hear what was said. My heart was thumping in my ears. “It seemed to be located through the Gemini Agency and U.A., meaning there was possible communication between you and someone at the agency. Which does violate the terms of the suspension.”

That’s why he kept calling…

“So, I am sorry, Ms. Montoya, as much as I would love to lift your suspension early. We would have to wait until the beginning of next year to review everything again and see if you can work in the U.S. again. However, we will allow you to continue your counseling job at Cal A if you decide that you don’t want to stay your whole suspension in Japan. I hope you have a good day.”

“Thank you. Have a good day.” I attempted to not look upset, but who knows if I was able to mask it or not. I clicked the leave button once everyone started to leave and closed my laptop. I saw Aizawa and the Wild Wild Pussycats waiting patiently from the corner of my eye to see what happened. I chewed my bottom lip to prevent myself from crying in front of people I barely knew. I felt like that was a sign for Aizawa to come up and sit next to me, gently grabbing my laptop out of my hands. He then wrapped an arm around my shoulders and softly moved my head to rest on his right shoulder. He then looked at the team of heroes and gave them a sad smile, and shook his head to motion them not to talk about the meeting or ask anything.

I felt him stroke my hair and rest his mouth just an inch away from my head to whisper, “You’ll be okay, Mai.”

The rest of the bus ride was short but quiet, so it felt agonizingly long. I felt bad that I let the mood shift so low. But we did end up there before the students were even halfway through the forest. Aizawa helped me with my suitcase while we walked off the bus into the building. “Huh. I expected an actual camp. But that’s because Eraser didn’t give me much description about your headquarters.”

“Oh yeah, that’s mainly because it’s his first time here. He’s only been to our old location a couple years back.” Mandalay explained. “I hope you don’t mind, but you’ll be rooming with me. The building might look big, but most of the rooms are meeting rooms, tech rooms, or just empty.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I just appreciate that you made room for me to come.” I quickly waved my hands in front of me as she giggled at my reaction.

“She’s a cutie, Eraser. No wonder you used to like her!” Mandalay teased.

I just looked behind me at the man standing with my suitcase. “What is she talking about?”

Aizawa’s face was mixed with embarrassment and discontent, “Nothing, I’m putting our stuff inside, and then I’m taking a nap. The students won’t be here for another hour.”

“Awe, the poor grump is embarrassed.” Mandalay leaned against me, smirking, “We met around the time you were last in Japan a few years back. So he mentioned you and was annoyed by the fact that he wasn’t over you. I thought it was cute but stupid that he didn’t do anything about it.” Someone doesn’t mind keeping things to herself. “That’s actually the reason why we didn’t work out when we tried dating. I kind of felt that his heart wasn’t in it because he was still caught up in what could’ve been with you.” She gave me a genuine smile, “Don’t worry, my heart wasn’t in it either, so there aren't any hard feelings. I’m just happy to finally meet the one that got away.”

My mouth was left hanging as my cheeks heated. I didn’t know how to respond to that. How would anyone respond to that?

She laughed again, “You are so cute. C’mon, let me show you around the place. Maybe this camp will be like a week-long slumber party with us girls?” This was going to be an interesting week for sure. Why did I agree to this?

---------------

The poor students were exhausted and took about an extra hour longer than expected. I felt terrible, but Aizawa dropped this on me like he did them, so I couldn’t do anything but nag him about it. Luckily, their actual training wasn’t starting until tomorrow. I just continued to act as if everything was normal and try to push past the news I got early.

As the Pussycats were giving them a tour around the place, I was just unpacking my suitcase to get my training outfit ready for tomorrow. It wasn’t anything special, just some running pants and a sports bra. I was also getting my nightshirt and shorts ready for when I needed to change later for bed. The Pussycats also provided the students a meal since they felt bad for leaving them to work so hard to get to camp. I sat with Mandalay and her nephew, who was looking for an opportunity to sneak away from the room.

“Mai, can I ask you a huge favor?” Mandalay spoke up. I simply nodded in response, “Do you think you can maybe talk with Kota? I feel like he needs to see someone about what happened to him and his parents. But I don’t want to take him to a therapist yet since he’s so young.”

“Well, there are children psychologists, but I don’t mind helping you out. It's better than doing nothing.” I gave her a reassuring smile when all of a sudden, my phone vibrated. I looked down and saw it was an unknown number with a video message. “Excuse me for a second, I have to check this. We could talk about a time to set up a meeting with Kota when I come back.”

I got up from the table and into the hallway as I opened the message.

Unknown Number

It was nice seeing you again, my lovely flower. I just wanted to give you a little momentum for our time together. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Maybe now you’ll remember to never test me. I own your career. With one simple video, you can kiss your hero career goodbye. You can always just apologize for defying me and stay being my little flower.

I regretted opening the video file. How can someone be so vile? I felt like I was going to throw up.

The video was of the night that would haunt me in my nightmares. The only view the camera had was of my face and body being violated. No one watching the video would never know who was the one filming or the one violating me. I was seventeen, drugged up, and influenced by Gemini’s mind control quirk. And it was all filmed. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the horrifying sight. I was trying to not be upset all day, and he knew it. He somehow always knew what I was doing. It was like once he got in my head, he knew my every thought and move. My privacy, my autonomy, were not really mine after him. I quickly got out of the conversation and put my phone away. I’ll just pretend it didn’t happen and sleep it off.

To say I was jittering the rest of the night would be an understatement. I felt uncomfortable like bugs were crawling all over me. I would jump whenever the students or Aizawa would try and talk to me. I even shrunk away from Aizawa when he tried to grab my shoulder to get my attention. He looked a little offended but didn’t press me. It wasn’t until Mandalay mentioned something that I had to explain why I was so jumpy.

“I’m just thinking about my meeting, I was trying to ignore what happened, but it sneaked up on me.” I shrugged.

“I understand. Do you maybe want to use the hot spring after the students to relax and wash the bad news and stress away?” I gave her a nod and a tight lip smile. “Cool, I’ll get the robes and towels then so we can get started.” Mandalay was really nice. And really pretty, I could see why Aizawa liked her. Such a shame they didn’t last. They would’ve been perfect.

When she came back to the living room, Midoriya came running in with an unconscious Kota. “What happened?” We both went up to look at Kota. I moved out of my spot on the couch to have Midoriya set Kota down.

“Mineta was climbing up the wall to try and peep at the girls on the other side, and Kota stopped him but fell. I don’t know how he passed out, though. I caught him before he fell into the water.” Midoriya explained awkwardly, standing in a towel. I went to grab another towel to wet it so it could be placed on Kota’s forehead.

“Eraserhead mentioned that one of you boys was a little girl crazy. So I posted Kota up there to make sure the boy didn’t do anything. I could assume that it was the fall that made him pass out. Thank you.” Mandalay spoke while I handed her the wet towel, and she placed it on Kota. Midoriya shifted around a little, worried about the kid. He then asked about why Kota was so inanimate about pro heroes. Since Mandalay already told me about it, I suggested that I leave them alone to talk while I check on the rest of the students and lecture Mineta.

I waited until all the students were in their rooms to go talk to them. All went well on the girls and with the rest of the boys. However, with Mineta, let’s just say my lecture went in through one ear and out the other. So, I opted to go disrupt Aizawa to talk to Mineta. Unfortunately, he was not in his room. I ran into Tiger in the hallway as I was walking out of Aizawa’s room, “Hey, Tiger, have you seen Eraserhead? I need to talk to him about one of the students.”

“Last time I saw him, he was heading to the hot spring after the students went to their rooms.” The large man was in his normal civilian wear now, a t-shirt with a cat face on it and some Capri running pants. He was wearing some kitten slippers to walk inside the building with. It was different from his uniform but not far away from the cat theme. And Aizawa used to wonder why I didn’t hang around cat people back when we were kids.

“Thank you, Tiger. Have a goodnight, bub.” I grinned up at him as I rushed to the hot spring. He chided a goodnight as I passed by and went into his room.

Sure enough, the grumpy slug was relaxing in the hot spring like he had nothing to do. I removed my slippers to slip into some sandals laid out at the entrance to the hot spring and quietly made my way behind the man hovering over his peaceful frame in the water. He was laying back on the rocks displayed at the edge of the spring with his eyes closed and arms stretched out. His hair was damped and was pushed back out of his face. His breathing was steady, with his chest slowly rising and falling. I couldn’t help but stare a little as I crossed my arms and waited for him to notice me.

“Take a picture. It will last longer, pervert.” The man leaned his head back and opened his charcoal grey eyes that reflected the night sky above us.

I raised an eyebrow at him and started tapping my foot, not amused by his comment.

“What do you want, Mai?”

“Mineta tried to peek at the girls while they were using the hot spring, and he didn’t want to listen to me, so I need you to scare him.”

“Right now?” The man started to close his eyes and moved his head back to its original position.

“Yes.”

“I never get to relax. Can I do it in the morning? Maybe I can make him do extra training as punishment along with the lecturing?” He suggested. I stayed quiet because I didn’t feel like that was enough of a punishment. Maybe it was my own personal feelings kicking in, but I really wanted this kid to learn to not be such a perverted creep. I didn’t want him to be doing the same shit Gemini was to his future women colleagues. Aizawa leaned back again to look at me, “Is that not a good punishment?”

“Nope.”

“Then what do you suggest?”

“Castration.”

Aizawa’s eyes widened, and then he stood up from his spot and turned his whole body in my direction. Which he shouldn’t have done. The water cascading down his body was a little distracting. How did I not notice his muscles like this when I was bandaging him up? Since when did he have body hair? And why do I like it? God, Mai, this is not the time… “Should I be concerned that you want to castrate a student?” He had a happy trail… and toned wet abs…. Jesus Christ, I’m acting like Mineta. “Mai?”

I looked up to his eyes as he looked at me, waiting, “No, it was a joke. That’s all.” I turned my cheek to hide the blush creeping up my face.

He folded his arms, which made both his arms and chest bulge and not helping me pay attention to his face, “Is there something wrong?” He raised an eyebrow at me and had a subtle smirk plastered on his face. Great, he knows that I was unintentionally checking him out.

“Nope, nothing’s wrong, just a student harassing other students.”

“Right, nothing else?”

“Nope.”

“You know when you lie, your voice gets higher, and your eyes start widening while you get pouty and raise your eyebrows.” He gave me a knowing smirk. I hate this. I would prefer not to get teased right now.

“I do know that. That’s why I choose not to lie. Because I am a bad liar.” I honestly said. Not budging.

We stared at each other with folded arms in silence.

“Fine, you can talk to him in the morning. Only because it’s really late.” I gave in, letting out an exasperated sigh and unfolding my arms.

“Okay. I promise I’ll castrate him while I’m at it.” He chuckled, making me let out a breathy one of my own.

“Alright, well, I’m going to go to bed now and leave you alone. Goodnight.” I had an effortless and genuine smile on my face. Leave it for the grump to get me in a better mood without even trying.

“Mai, wait.” I turned back to see Aizawa lean forward on the edge of the hot spring, his head resting on his forearms. “Do you want to talk about what happened in the meeting? Or maybe what happened in the hospital? Whichever is easier to tackle first. I kind of want to get things between us situated.”

I sat down on the floor across from him, “What did you want to situate?”

“Well, you seemed to be getting serious with Vlad, and well, we can’t ignore how we keep having certain moments with each other. I don’t want to string myself along, and I don’t want to hurt Vlad. And I’m sure you feel that way too.”

“This is the first time I’m having you talk about your feelings.” I joked a little.

“I thought I was over my feelings for you from high school. But I don’t know what’s been happening. I don’t know if my feelings are genuine or just me indulging in old forgotten feelings because I never got closure. It’s irrational. And I don’t act irrationally.” He looked at me seriously, “I think we need some sort of boundaries.”

Part of me agreed with him. Part of me also wanted to tell him that Vlad and I weren’t that serious. We were just new. Part of me wanted to jump into the spring and kiss his wet plump lips. They were just begging me to kiss them. Part of me wanted to ask him what he wanted to tell me at the hospital. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Most of me wanted to crawl into a hole and be forgotten.

I am not someone that Vlad or Aizawa should be with. It wasn’t fair to either of them if they were with me. So I made it up in my mind that I shouldn’t be with either of them. Though, something in Aizawa’s midnight eyes was telling me to not agree with him. Like he was pleading for me to say something else. “Maybe we should. It’s just juvenile to let old feelings dictate what we do. You’re right. It’s irrational.” I avoided his eyes. They tempted me, to tell the truth, which was buried in the pit of my heart. As I played with my fingers, my lips slipped out a question, “What were you going to tell me at the hospital before Midoriya interrupted?”

Now it was his turn to avoid my eyes and bury his face in his arms. It took him a minute to speak up. “I was going to say that I really wanted you to… I really wanted you to know that I loved you when we were kids. That it was never just a childish crush. I was just stupid and thought it was foolish to do something about it.”

“Hmmm… well, I guess I should tell you that I loved you too, I was just too naive to know that I was. So I just assumed I was misplacing my feelings because I never knew what love felt like.” Sadly, it took me dealing with everything I did after leaving to realize it was the real thing. “But I guess we were too late,” I muttered mainly to myself, not really wanting him to hear it.

“I guess.”

“Vlad and I aren’t that serious. He doesn’t even feel comfortable enough for me to call him by his given name. And it's been a little awkward since that. So, I don’t think we’re going to last. It’s probably better off that way. I shouldn’t really be with anyone.” I hugged myself while looking at my knees. “I like Mandalay. She told me about you guys. I think you guys would’ve been cute. You guys both like naps and cats.” I joked a little more to lighten the mood.

“She’s a furry.”

“I thought you said that the Wild Wild Pussycats weren’t furries?”

“Oh, so you’re defending them now?” A small teasing smirk broke out of his face.

“At most, she’s a catgirl. Which is right up your ally.” After a second of thinking, I started to burst into laughter. “Ally cat!”

Aizawa looked incredibly confused, “Huh?”

“Ally cat! You’re an alley cat because you're an underground hero!” It made no sense why I thought it was funny. Honestly, I would be confused too if I was in Aizawa’s position. But for some reason, it was funny to me at the moment. Maybe it was the sleepiness kicking in?

He still looked at me confused, but his eyes were warm, and he was grinning like an idiot. “You have such a broken sense of humor. I blame Oboro for that. He corrupted you with his stupid jokes.”

I pouted, “I think I have a great sense of humor. It’s a little on the dark side, but at least you know I can make light out of any situation!”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You think threatening students with expulsion is funny. You can’t judge anyone else’s humor.” I yawned. “Alright, I think now, I should go. Anything else we need to discuss before I hibernate?”

He looked at me with a soft boyish closed-lip grin, “No, go to sleep. You need to rest before training tomorrow. Have a goodnight, Mai.”

I yawned again as I got up, “Goodnight, Sho. Get some sleep too, don’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t. Lov…” I couldn’t hear the last part once I returned to the entrance of the hot spring. All I was able to hear was that Aizawa stopped himself before he finished it.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@multifandoms916 @inumorph @mel-sanch @thatsnotverycashmoneyofyouu @anime-oc-community

#mha #mha oc #mha original character #bnha #bnha oc #bnha original character #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa x oc #aizawa x oc #canon x oc #oc x canon #boku no hero oc #mha x oc #poc characters #bnha x oc

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phoenixashradio · 3 years

Text

ANALYSIS

I’ve brought my laptop into work, and this time remembered the charging cable, specifically so that I will have time to process. To evaluate the words at face value, and try to read between the lines. I changed the I/me/my to he/him/his from the text message so that it's obvious for anyone reading whether it's Kilt's or myself that is being referred to.

[I have been at the forefront of his mind.] This seems to say that I am both worth being thought about, and that there has been a reason to stay on his mind. [He feels very lucky to have met me, and be a part of my life.] I can’t tell whether this is sincere in remaining a part of my life, or if he is just grateful to pass through it temporarily, like a comet through the night sky. Wondrous to behold, all too fleeting to truly feel its warmth. [Panic at how quickly our connection and relationship has evolved, panic for what that means for us, for Tartan (Kilt's wife) and Inferno and what it means for his kids long term.] I don’t know to what extent his feelings have evolved. I don’t know what I am supposed to do with that. A big part of me is hoping that means he has already fallen in love with me, or is most of the way there. [The changes that this means for his family and family unit are a lot larger than he ever thought.] I don’t know what that means either. I understand confusion going from a relatively nuclear family to polycule takes adjustments and understanding for difficulties accepting the family structure being realigned. I just don’t know how he expects that to change because of a relationship with me. I thought that I wasn’t being too demanding of his time, so that there weren’t any big changes to the family structure on his end.

[He’s been thinking long and hard about where he wants our relationship to go. He doesn’t want it to end. He wants to stay connected, to talk, to message, to be a part of my life. He wants to see me again.] This is pretty hard to gloss over, to ignore. It seems to be everything but a declaration. What if I’m looking for the good in it though? What if he wants me, enjoys me, but I’m not enough? He’s been thinking about where he wants it to go - what has he contemplated? Has he got a general idea? What does that even mean?? He wants to see me again. I’m struggling to recapture that blissful warm and happy feeling which should come when a handsome man wants you. I never asked to be his everything, but how can I understand what this looks like right now when I’m so lost and confused. [What he thinks he needs is to just slow down the pace.] Totally understandable, I don’t really have an issue with that. Doesn’t the distance between us kind of make that happen anyway? [He thinks the bulk of the panic was at the level of feelings that are developing very quickly.] What feelings??? I know there is lust, affection, warmth, desire. I know that I have fallen in love with him already, and that being in love first is why this is so damn confusing and hurts so much. I realise things are more complicated on his end, and I don’t need to hear it back, but I also struggle with the concept of making him aware so early. I don’t want to place any undue pressure while he is clearly not handling this level of affection and intimacy. [Not knowing how this will effect him and the family. The extra time away from home, not being there for the kids when they wake up, not at home for Tartan.] I can relate to the fear around uncertainty. I would like to think that there is a certain deliberateness to the method in which we join our lives, and that we consider our actions both in terms of the pre-existing connections we have, and the one I would so damn desperately like to form with him. [He knows I have no expectations on time, and that I am happy to meet him where he’s at. He doesn’t take that for granted.] I’m sort of glad to hear that. It also feels unfinished, almost like a goodbye he’s not ready to make.

#polyamory #polyamory problems #polyam dating

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onewaywardwitch · 5 years

Text

Just A Typo (8/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Hacker!Reader

Summary: It was a simple challenge between a very competitive group of friends. A challenge that ended very differently than anticipated.

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2369

Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have any Haribos this time. The woman just glared at me when I asked, and I didn’t think it was wise to ask a second time. Instead, I just had to work jelly ring-less.

She kept a close eye on me. Her breath was tickling the back of my neck as I opened up the screen I was so used to seeing in order to hack into Starks. The lines and line of code began to blur into one, my fingers flying across the keyboard.

I just hoped this would work. That it would somehow catch the Avengers attention and they’d come in, guns blazing and shields flying.

It wasn’t long until I came across a screen I was all too familiar with. One I designed myself to stop people in my current position. And I knew I would have to slow myself down. It would be nearly impossible for even me to break through, but I couldn’t even try. I couldn’t run the risk of successfully giving my kidnappers exactly what they wanted. So I delayed. I purposely made mistakes, causing myself to be taken back a few steps of the process. I just had to hang on a little longer, then I would reach the sections of code I needed.

There. Got it. My captor stood watch, but it was obvious she had no clue what I was doing. I could have been ordering a lifetime supply of Haribos, charged to her account, and she would never have realised. It didn’t matter though. All I had to do was just attempt to breach the next few lines of code and the Avengers would be sent an immediate alert that they were being hacked.

“What’s taking so long?” She asked impatiently, not impressed with how long I was taking.

“After I hacked into them the first time, Stark made sure to up his security. It's definitely not as easy as it was before,” I replied. I swallowed nervously as I moved past that section of code. If my program worked correctly, it should be hacking into the computer I was on now in order to send my current location to the team.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. We’re going to stay here until you’ve completed your task.”

Perfect, I should be able to buy them enough time to get to me. Hopefully.

~~~~~

Angie and Becca were currently being looked after by the staff in the tower. The team agreed to keep them nearby in case they became targets as well. They weren’t thrilled about having to put their life on hold, but it only took a quick little chat with Steve before they complied.

Bucky was doing his best, but there wasn’t much he could do. Tony, Bruce and Nat were all doing… something technological related, to try and find Y/N. He still didn’t fully understand 21st century gadgets. That’s why him and Steve were looking through Hydra files they already had, hoping to get some indication of where they might have taken her, if it was Hydra they were dealing with.

“We’re going to find her. You know that, don’t you,” Steve asked as he opened up yet another file.

Bucky glanced up at him. “Yeah, I know.”

He looked back down while Steve just furrowed his brow at him. He had more to say on the subject and knew that Bucky was just waiting for him to start up again.

Steve opened his mouth to speak.

“Don’t you say another word.”

“But- “

“I don’t want to hear your bullshit.”

“Seriously I- “

“I'm gonna hit you.”

“Bucky- “

“With the metal arm this time.”

“Would you shut up for two seconds?” Steve groaned, throwing the file onto the table. He crossed him arms, glaring at his friend. Bucky held up one finger, then a second.

“Times up.”

“Oh for the love of- “

Steve got a heavy beige file thrown into his face and a smirking Bucky across the table.

“Instead of acting like a six-year-old, maybe you could grow up and start thinking about how you’re going to ask Y/N out when we get her back here.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Bucky scoffed. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you're practically in love with her and would do anything for her. Because everyone except the two of you can see how head over heels you are. Because you become a flustering mess every time you're around her.”

“Alright, I get it.” Bucky turned back to the files scattered across the table and picked a random one to search through. He mulled over Steve’s words. He did like Y/N, that was undeniable. And he wanted to ask her out. Desperately so. She was ridiculously funny, and he found her excitement over everything endearing. But he wasn’t the same person he was seventy years ago. The fall had changed him. Everything that came afterwards had changed him. Before he would have had no problem asking a woman out. Now he could barely string a sentence together in front of Y/N without looking like an idiot. He couldn’t just pretend he was the same man with the same personality. But he knew if he didn’t figure out a way to ask her out and soon, both Steve and Sam would be on his back putting him under pressure to do so.

Their conversation was interrupted by F.R.I.D.A.Y. announcing an immediate meeting in the briefing room called by Tony.

“Don’t think we’re done talking about this,” Steve warned him as they both left the room hastily.

~~~~~

Tony wasted no time telling the team that they were being hacked. Again. He also explained that it was most likely Y/N trying to see if the system she installed earlier would actually work and give them her location.

“Luckily for us, she works efficiently. It should be nearly done by now.”

They stood as Tony threw up a screen showing the progress of Y/N's decoding program. They watched on in anticipation as location after location popped up on the screen, only to be marked with an ‘X’ and disappear seconds later. Another screen beside that displayed the hundreds of lines of code that were being used to block the outside attack. Most of the team had no idea what any of it meant, but Tony and Natasha were in awe. They were brilliant hackers themselves, Tony having hacked into Pentagon when he was only a child. And Nat was simply one of those people who were annoyingly good at everything they did. Yet they found themselves struggling to keep up with Y/N's work. They couldn’t understand how she remained under everyone’s radar for so long. She wasn’t one to flaunt the skills she had, but it was clear to all of the Avengers present that she was far better than she had been letting on before.

Just as their eyes started spinning from the constantly changing numbers, the screens froze. The one with the codes went black completely, having effectively stopped whoever was on the other side. The first screen was nearly blank too, displaying just a single location now; Leipzig, Germany.

The atmosphere in the room had changed. Nervousness had been replaced by determination, each person ready for the mission ahead.

“Alright, everyone suit up. We leave in five,” Steve ordered.

~~~~~

Blocked. Completely shut out. I didn’t know whether it meant I was really good or really bad that I had been blocked out of my own system. Of course, that was exactly what I was hoping for. I needed to not gain access to the tower and also give myself time to be hacked into so the Avengers would know where to find me.

The woman shook her head in frustration and slapped her hand on the table.

“Try again.”

“I already told you,” I huffed. ”They’ve improved on the original design of the security system. It's basically impossible to break through.”

“You're supposed to be one of the greatest hackers in the world, how can you not do this?” She hissed.

“Well, y’know, it is Tony Stark,” I said slowly, not thinking it necessary to tell her I was being stopped by myself.

“Go again,” she snapped, giving me a threatening look when I huffed in reply.

I carried on, basically repeating exactly what I had done before. She didn’t notice. Surprise surprise, I was blocked out again. And again. And for a fourth time.

She was fuming, her face an unusual shade of red and knuckles white with how tightly she gripped the table edge. I was just hoping the Avengers were already on their way to get me, because one more failed attempt and I had a feeling this woman would throw me through the door.

Halfway through a very boring fifth try of the exact same thing, she froze, staring at the door. It took me a moment to realise the absence of her sticky breath on my neck, by which time she had already made her way to behind the door. Her hand hovered over her pocket, presumably where her weapon was currently stored. Her other hand was pressed against her ear. She must have been wearing a comms I didn’t notice before, as she began speaking into it in a low voice.

A crash from outside of the door made us both jump. Her eyes were fixated on the door, her hands twitching slightly. It was that tiny twitch that gave me more confidence. She was scared. Maybe it was the Avengers. Maybe it was just some lunatic on drugs causing chaos around the place. Either way, her fear provided me with the belief that I had a chance of getting out.

I stood up slowly, carefully, making sure not to scrape the chair against the floor as I had done numerous times before. I didn’t take my eyes off her, looking for any change in posture that would inform me I was caught. She remained in the same position. She was still talking to someone and hadn’t noticed my movements. I grasped the laptop tightly, holding it against my chest as I moved towards her.

Ok, deep breaths. No big deal, you're just going to knock her out. Pretend it’s one of those ‘whack-a-mole’ games. And… now!

A squeak escaped my lips as I brought the laptop above my head before crashing it down on top of my captor’s head. She collapsed to the ground instantly, groaning slightly. My eyes widened and I hit her again to make sure she was unconscious. Judging by the unnatural position she had fallen into, I assumed I was safe. From her at least.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I just knocked her out,” I whispered faintly, running my free hand painfully through my straggly and extremely knotty hair. I glanced at my other hand which held the remains of the laptop. It was clearly a high-quality laptop, but apparently not built for hitting people. Only scraps of it remained in my hand, some of it still connected by a few wires dangling down.

“Ugh.” I glared at the woman on the ground. “Look what you’ve done. That was a really nice laptop.”

I almost forgot about what was going on outside the door until it began to open. I raised the remnants of the laptop, prepared to attack someone else with my makeshift weapon.

“Woah, kid! Put down the… I don’t even know what that is. What the hell have you got there?”

I lunged at Tony- or rather, at his suit.

“I know I'm just hugging a metal suit but it's surprisingly comforting,” I said, my voice muffled by the suit. He gave me a half hug back, as much as his suit would allow.

“Good to see you too, but unless you plan on sporting a lovely bullet hole to my next party, we should get going.”

Before we even got the chance to take a step, we heard gunshots from a corridor nearby. Moments later, Bucky came running down towards us. I grinned and waved at him, as if he hadn’t already seen us.

“Shut up,” I muttered lowly to Tony. He turned to me.

“I literally did not say a single word and you can’t see my face through this.”

“Yeah but I know what you're thinking- Bucky, hi!” I blurted out.

He chuckled at my reaction and greeted me back before asking Tony what the new plan was, because apparently their old plan went to shit. What a surprise.

Steve must have called out new orders to the team because the next thing I knew, I was being hauled by Bucky down the stairs.

“Keep close, doll.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice. You smell nice by the way.”

He stuttered and looked at me, completely flabbergasted. I stared back at him in shock.

“I did not mean to say that. Not out loud, at least.”

I just averted eye contact with him, and no other words were exchanged as we ran down the stairs.

Great. You had to make it weird.

We went to turn around a corner, both of us running at full speed, before Bucky threw his arm out and flung me backwards. I didn’t get a chance to ask what the hell he did that for, as he raised his gun and began shooting at people I couldn’t see. I ducked behind him, covering my eyes with my hands as if that would shield me from any bullets flying my way.

“Hey, we’re good.”

I peered out at Bucky from behind the safety of my hands. He was crouched on the ground in front of me, gun casually slung over his shoulder. It was almost unnerving how intensely he was staring at me and it caused shivers down my spine. His eyes were as soft as his voice and he rested him hand reassuringly on my shoulder. I appreciated how much he was trying to stop me from freaking out. I nodded my head and he grabbed a hold of my arm, tugging me up gently.

“Lets finally get you out of this hell-hole, yeah?”

Taglist (open):

(if there’s a strike through your name it means I couldn’t tag you)

(if I forgot to tag you just send me a message)

@amybarter15 @imperialoath @mamaraptor @marbleowl @lydklein1 @wantingtobekorra @alysawrites @uhholyhazza @ladymelissastark @sarcasm-n-insomnia @foxylupines @myrabbitholetoneverland @amazingficsthatididnotwrite @markusstraya @padfootormoose @worldofchoices @just-some-stuff-in-life @colie87 @catsandbooksinafarawayplace @littleblackdressxx @thequirkypeach @astronomicparker @asguardiansoftheavengers @awesome-alysia @sebbystanlover-vk @unknownwonder @wowstiless @d-eracine @nattie0010 @bloodyproudpotterhead @waddupmydood @jjlevin @libbymouse @piscesbarnes @yourwonderbelle @pinnedandneedled @otterlockholmes @wandressfox @chybay22 @my-nonexistant-romance @cap-just-said-language

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phoenixsavant · 6 years

Text

Trail of Roses

Finally getting back to the asks!

@mysticmess707miss requested a “first time” for Ray, Saeran, and Unknown. Ray’s is here.

This one tried to be smut, but then took a surprise turn... Ah, Saeran, never as expected, are you? Hope you like it!

Trail of Roses

(Saeran: Following Ray’s Route good ending)

Saeran looked away from his computer. Months had passed and there was still no sign of his brother. The house where they had lived – suffered - together was gone now. The fire had been ruled arson, and the investigators had nothing to suggest but that it might have been someone angry about the charges brought against the prime minister.

His eyes drifted to the blue skies overhead. Though there had been rain almost daily for the past month, today was full of sun. The gentle breeze drew him out to the garden to work, though he didn’t know why he bothered to keep looking for his brother anymore. With a displeased grunt, he focused back on the laptop waiting on the table before him. Whether he found his brother alive or found remains to bury, he couldn’t give up.

“I’m home, Saeran!” you called from the house.

He folded the screen down, and rose to greet you as you stepped out of the kitchen. “Hello, angel. Did you find everything you wanted?”

You nodded as you slipped your arms around his waist, smiling up into his aqua eyes. “I did. We are going to feast tonight!” You kissed him lightly before tilting your head to the side. “Do you want to help me cook?”

“Don’t I always?” he smiled slowly.

***

Saeran watched you move through the kitchen, twisting and bending in the narrow space between the counters. He still couldn’t believe you were real sometimes. The evening sun cascaded through the kitchen window, filtering through the pale, golden curtains before pooling around your hair like a halo as you worked. How could he have found anyone as ethereal as you? How could you have loved him?

“What are you smiling at?” you asked him, as a blush crept slowly up your neck. You’d seem him staring at you. It wasn’t that you minded the attention, you just weren’t sure what to do about it. Despite the time that had passed, he hadn’t shown any interest in doing more than kissing you occasionally, and sleeping in the same bed. When he watched you like that though, you couldn’t help feeling that he wanted something more.

Why he didn’t ever make a move was beyond you, and things had gotten awkward because of it. The fact that the relationship hadn’t progressed since the day you’d visited his childhood home was the elephant in the room, and it was growing. Where being watched by him once left you feeling shy but excited, now it just made you feel uncertain about yourself and that was not a sensation you were used to.

Saeran lifted your hair and pushed it back behind your shoulder. “Just you. The light looks very pretty against your hair.”

“Thank you,” you murmured, dropping sliced vegetables into the pot beside you. The blush faded quickly. “Would you mind filling this with water?” you asked, nudging it toward him.

Doing as you had requested, Saeran frowned over the sink. Why had he said something so lame? When he’d seen you like he did, it felt like his heart would burst from the sight. He’d wanted nothing more than to sweep you into his arms and kiss you until you were as breathless as he was. So why, when asked, did he just give a casual compliment? How were you ever going to know how much you meant to him if he didn’t say or do something to show you? He sighed and turned the water off, lifting the pot and placing it on the stove. He had to be stronger, braver, than this. He wanted to be, and only hoped you would not turn him away, as the whispers in his mind promised him you would.

“Do you think you can handle the rest?” he asked, turning to you. He frowned thoughtfully, looking beyond you to the garden.

“I can.” You saw his frown and his distant gaze. Telling yourself he must have had a frustrating day searching for his brother, you tucked your waist against the counter to let him pass. To your surprise, he didn’t just walk by. His hands appeared at your hips and his face pressed alongside your own.

“You are my angel, my everything,” he murmured. “I haven’t done a very good job of showing you, but I will.”

Then he was gone, back out into the garden where he always went when needing time alone.

***

Your evening passed quietly, as they usually did. Saeran was not the most talkative of people. Dinner was shared, then cleared away. You watched a movie, sitting chastely on the couch while holding hands. You showered first while he did the meditations that helped him relax enough to sleep through the night.

You stepped into the bedroom, drying your hair with a towel. “Alright, it’s…” You had started your routine announcement but found yourself cut short. The bedroom was filled with roses in red, pink, and white. Across the bed, petals scattered as if tossed by a sudden storm. Among them was a folded piece of paper with your name written on it in Saeran’s strong hand.

You looked around, but he was nowhere to be found. Curious, you lifted the page and began to read.

My angel,

I wish I could find the words to express how beautiful you make my life, my world. Whether with a simple smile, the softest touch of your hand, or the sound of your laughter, everything about you is a wondrous gift I don’t know what to do with. I have done nothing to deserve you and I despair that I ever will.

Yet, here you are, with me still. When you tell me that you love me, I want to take you into myself and never let you out. When you hum your songs to yourself while you work, I want to melt and pour myself over you. When the wind plays through your hair I want to strike it down for being where I am not. When you sleep beside me, I become jealous of the way the moonlight touches your body with such abandon.

I know that you’ve encouraged me in the past, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready yet. If it’s not too late, if you still want me as you once did, I want to touch you like the moonbeams I envy. I want to pour myself over you, take you into myself, and leave your hair as sweetly disheveled as the wind I so resent.

If it’s not too late…

Saeran

You read the letter twice, just to be sure of the meaning. You read it a third time because you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the poetry of his words. Then, you clasped it to your chest, slowly, and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over.

It wasn’t too late. It could never be too late, not for Saeran.

Despite the almost spiritual choice of words, you found a sleeping hunger begin to stir inside yourself. The idea of Saeran’s hands roaming over you like a moonbeam, combined with the blatant statement about leaving your hair a mess, quickened your breath and sped your heartbeat. No, it wasn’t too late, but where could he be?

You looked back out the bedroom door and saw a rose in the hallway that you hadn’t seen before. Carrying your towel, you moved to collect it. Beyond it, lay another, then another, marking a trail for you. You left the roses where they were and followed them down the hallway, through the kitchen, and out into the darkness of the garden.

Fireflies illuminated the flower beds like slowly flickering Christmas lights. On the table, a pair of roses waited, but still you did not see Saeran. You felt your shoulders drop. Had you misunderstood the meaning of his letter?

Strong arms folded around you, pulling you back to press against a taller, warmer body. “Is it too late?” Saeran whispered at your ear.

You leaned into him, hugging his arms. “Not for you, Saeran.”

His embrace tightened as he planted a soft kiss on your cheek. “I can’t begin to say how much I love you, how much I’ve wanted to hold you. I’ve held back because I wasn’t sure what...” He nuzzled against your neck. “I wasn’t sure if you would want…”

You looked up to him, smiling tenderly. “You don’t have to hold back anymore. I’m here because I’m yours. There’s no need to be afraid of anything between us.”

He didn’t speak again. He held you, still nervous about what to do. Turning you around, he tilted your face up and kissed you softly. This was something he knew. He had kissed you so many times before, but tonight, he kissed you with more meaning than ever before. He had run out of words and hoped you would understand the silent message as his lips pulled at yours and his tongue teased your mouth open.

A wave of relief and excitement washed over you and you wrapped your arms tightly around Saeran, pulling yourself into his body. Your tongue flicked at the tip of his when it invaded, inviting it in. If ever a kiss could tell someone you wanted them, your response carried that message and you hoped it would be enough to push away his uncertainty.

Saeran moved his hands to cup your face and pulled back. He searched your eyes for any sign of hesitation, anything that might tell him to wait. He saw nothing but your smile – soft, welcoming, anticipating. His thumb drew a slow arc over your cheek and he felt his heart skipping beats. The shackles of doubt and self-loathing fell away, freeing him to do as he pleased. He responded by crushing your lips beneath his.

When he pulled your lower lip into his teeth and bit down just hard enough that you felt blood rushing to the surface. You felt a heat that spread through you, drawn out of your core by the magic of that single act. Desire rose up from within you like a flock of birds rising from a field, sudden and powerful. You gasped his name, your lips moving against his as you pressed yourself closer to Saeran’s firm chest.

The sound of his name when spoken by you had always had an effect on Saeran. You made it sound like a song without even trying. All Saeran could do was respond with his body though, and tonight that was what he was finally free to do. His fingers slid from your face to tangle in your hair and he walked you backward into the table behind you. He leaned over you, standing between your legs, releasing your hair and allowing his hands to fly over your curves.

He didn’t have a plan, no specific intent, all he wanted was to touch as much of you as he could before he was banished. His fingertips found the small of your back, the curve down your hips that reminded him of a violin, the outline of your shoulder blades. When you wrapped your arms tightly and pulled yourself into him, he groaned. The warmth of your body filled his senses and stopped his breath.

You felt as if Saeran’s touch was leaving trails of flame and where they kindled, they consumed you. How long had you been waiting for this? You couldn’t begin to remember. Forever seemed too short a time to account for the power of your responses. Deep in your belly you felt a tightening that drew your spine into an arc and melded you against him.

Saeran found himself sucking gently at your neck, but had no memory of moving from your lips. Your skin tasted clean from your shower, and he could smell the shampoo you’d used. His thoughts had fallen into chaos, unable to formulate even the most basic phrases. The heat and tightness in his pants was growing increasingly uncomfortable.

Suddenly urgent, he pushed your bath robe over your shoulder. Sparing only a moment to take in the softness of the moonlight on your skin, he drove his teeth against your flesh. The mewling gasp you responded with drove his hips into you, as if his body had its own will, and his erection felt both relieved and further agitated by the contact. He yanked your robe down as far as he could.

Your mind was a whirlwind of sensation. Saeran’s teeth at your collarbone and his palm flat against your spine conspired to release a wave of slick wetness between your legs. When he pressed against you, his length fighting to be freed from his restrictive clothing, you felt yourself throb hotly. You let your head fall back as he exposed your body to the night air. A sudden breeze made you shiver uncomfortably. Against your heated skin it was almost icy, drawing gooseflesh sharply up and chasing away the heat you wanted to keep.

He felt your shiver when the wind hit, and the change in your skin. Standing, Saeran looked down at you. You looked so beautiful, your hair already growing disheveled as it dried, your lips swollen and open, your skin gleaming, and he didn’t want to stop. He also couldn’t ignore the fact that you were going to be chilled and uncomfortable if things went much further here.

“Let’s go inside,” he said, forcing himself to exercise restraint again as he pulled you back to your feet and tugged your robe back into place. Restraint was no stranger to Saeran. Ever since leaving Mint Eye with you, he had been exercising restraint. Tonight, however, exercising restraint felt more like fighting to contain a tiger half-released from its cage. It snarled dangerously at him as he led you back into the house.

You leaned into Saeran’s side, moving beside him in a haze. The softness of your robe only served to exacerbate the sensitivity of the skin it sought to shelter from the cool breezes. You could not find it within you to want anything but to turn back and drown in the moonlight with him. It wasn’t until he paused at the base of the stairs that you looked up. He wasn’t watching you. He smiled softly at the first step.

“I’m glad you left these,” Saeran murmured. He bent and lifted the rose he’d left at the base of the stairs. “Each rose is something about you that I love.” He held the stem out to you and said, “This one is your courage, how you never flinch away or run.”

Leading you up the stairs, he stopped to lift another rose. “This one is your laughter, the best sound in the world.” He continued down the long hallway, taking up each of the blossoms he’d left for you and telling you something else he loved about you.

Your head had been spinning from his touch while in the garden, and now your heart felt as if it had melted and exploded at once. You surprised yourself when you had to blink back tears. But when he knelt and took up the last rose, he didn’t rise. You peered down, wondering what was wrong.

Saeran looked at the scarlet petals, rolling the stem between his thumb and forefinger. Should he? He had thought about it many times before, but always held back, always resisted the desire to speak for fear of being rejected and sent away from you. You had told him not to hold back though, and he had never witnessed a moment where he could not take you at your word. Turning, he held the final rose up to you, his confidence bolstered by the trust you’d taught him to have in you.

“All the things I love about you, the things I’ve said so far, none of them mean anything without this,” he began. “This rose is the most important one. This is where it all began,” Saeran’s eyes flitted from yours to the flower in his fingertips like a nervous hummingbird. He took a slow breath and brought his gaze to your face, holding it there steadily. “You could have run away, back then. You could have gone to Rika and begged her protection. You could have slipped away with V, more than once. Instead, you stayed. You kept telling me that you believed in me, that you trusted me. In the end, I even gave you the choice to have Ray instead of me. You chose me. You’ve stayed with me since.” He took a shaky breath. “I can’t give you a ring, but I can give you this and my promise that I will never leave you. Will you marry me?”

Your breath caught and your hand flew over your mouth. The tears you’d blinked back before fell like miniature waterfalls as you felt your heart expanding to limits you hadn’t known it could reach. Marry him? Marry Saeran? You had to be dreaming. You felt your head moving, nodding tightly as it answered the question.

Saeran’s face began to glow, his smile reflecting surprise and joy. He rose swiftly, his arms enfolding you and crushing you to him. Safe, he was safe now. You wouldn’t leave, you wouldn’t turn him away, he didn’t need to be afraid anymore. You were his in ways he had always wanted, and so much more so than when he’d kept you locked in that room. You were his because you wanted to be, and that made all the difference in the world.

When he led you into the bedroom, you took the rose from him, laying it gently on the dresser to be saved. You didn’t know when you slept, only that you and he were both spent but exhilarated, and that you loved the feel of his naked body against yours as your eyes finally closed.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger saeran #mysme saeran #saeran x reader #it was almost smut and then it changed

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bangtanbabeloveyourself · 5 years

Text

Whiskey and Fantasies

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

Word count: 3.9k

Summary: Babysitting Bangtan is nothing to scoff at. Especially when it’s for work. And one of the members wants in your pants but you also kinda wanna keep your job.

Author’s Note: I made this for two reasons. I didn’t get enough drabble requests for Yoongi this year, so I made a short story. I was also inspired by one of my favorite blogs ( @bang-tan-bitches ) and decided to write it out for them. Hope you like it.

You had been working at BigHit as an intern for a few months, starting during your summer break last year. You wanted to learn how to produce music and all the stars aligned and you were able to land a gig at the same company that represents your favorite boy group ever, BTS.

But, much to your dissatisfaction, you weren’t often around the boys. You could hear them-whether it be from running around the building, screaming, dancing, or singing- you could hear them. It was very rare when you actually got to see them. You had to keep telling yourself that you didn’t get the internship for the boys, you got it for your career. The boys just happened to be a special treat and should be treated as such. You needed to keep that attitude while there.

According to one of the ladies in charge of the program, most interns are fired within the first two weeks because of them pushing their professional boundaries. Some were caught in after hours to search for the boys. (Which explained why you got grilled so hard the one night you stayed over to finish a project). A few attempted to steal a shirt or jacket from one of the members as well. The scariest one was the girl who tried to follow Jungkook home from the company. Those kinds of fans disgusted you. These were human beings. They deserved decency and respect. Those fans gave all of ARMY a bad name.

With those stories in mind, you just gave up on the fantasy of spending time with BTS. It was unprofessional. You valued your job too much to risk it all for a fangirl day dream. You focused on the grunt work that they gave to you, probably taking on more than you should have, but you wanted to prove you were serious about this position. And it truly paid off.

There was a seminar about new production equipment and programs this weekend. You were chosen to join your manager and a few members of the group to attend. If all went well, you would be promoted. This was a huge honor for you. Going to a seminar like this would help to give you a better edge when you go back to class. The fact that some of the boys were going didn't even really hit you until you got a call from your manager a few hours before you were supposed to meet up with everyone. He wasn't going to be able to make it. There was a family emergency.

“But I'm not ready to do this. I don't have any experience. Plus, you have all the hotel information. What am I supposed to do?” You asked as you paced your living room.

“Listen Y/N. Calm down. I will give you the code to my office. Take my work laptop and the company credit card. You can do this. Just think of it as babysitting.” He said.

You forced a laugh. “Babysitting world famous pop stars in a city I've never been to with a company credit card. That doesn't worry you at all?”

You heard a chuckle. “You've proven yourself plenty of times. Besides, the guys have been there before. You just need to make sure they stay out of trouble.”

And with that, you had no choice. You stared at the clock as the time drew near. The knot in your stomach slowly growing. You needed to arrive early to go to your manager's office but you were nervous. Did the others know about him not going? You didn't even know which members were going with you.

Finally you sighed and grabbed your suitcase, double checking everything before making your way out of your apartment and on your way to the office. You managed to arrive without having to talk to anyone. You were able to get up to your manager's office without any disruptions. You opened your phone and typed in the code that he had given you and collected everything he told you to, putting it all in your bag.

When you made it back down to the lobby, you found a small group of about 5 people. The closer you got, you could make out two of the security team. The other three must have been the members.

You approached with caution before giving a soft bow. “Hello. I’m Y/N. I'm sorry, but Mr. Won won't be joining us. He had a family emergency.”

When you stood back up, you had to hold back a gasp. Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi and Jeon mother fucking Jungkook were all staring at you. You had seen them before, here and there but to be this close, you could see how beautiful they really were.

Namjoon nodded and Jungkook gave you a cute little bunny grin. “Don't worry, he got a hold of me. He said you were the boss.” Namjoon said before ushering you to lead the way.

“She's the boss? But she's barely older than me. How's that fair?” Jungkook teased.

You smirked. “Because I have ‘proven myself multiple times.’” You said, quoting your

boss.

Jungkook snorted. “Are you saying that I haven't?”

Yoongi swatted at the back of Jungkook's head. “Will you quit it? Let the woman do her job.”

You shrugged before you started to walk out towards the car. “All I'm saying is that I'm the one with the company credit card.”

Jungkook's eyes lit up and he moved to walk in front of you, making you stop walking. “So that means you'll be buying the liquor for the hotel?” He asked excitedly.

You smirked at him before patting his head. “That means I have the power to move you out of the top floor suite, maknae, so watch out.”

Namjoon and Yoongi laughed before one of them jokingly shoved the now pouting Jungkook as you all made your way to the black SUV that was parked out front. Despite them being world famous pop stars, they were fairly down to earth. You never imagined you'd feel so at ease around them that you could manage to tease the maknae and get away with it. But you couldn’t take it too far. This was still your job and this was a business trip. You were only here to learn at the seminar and keep the boys out of trouble. Basically, you were just an overpaid babysitter.

The seminar was about two hours away and most of that time was spent quietly. Yoongi had put headphones on as soon as he got comfortable in the car. He was out within minutes. Namjoon also brought headphones but spent most of his time scribbling into a notebook. Jungkook had brought some sort of game with him and kept busy with that for the majority of the trip. When he finally got bored, he started to pester you by asking you a bunch of questions about yourself and your job.

Eventually Namjoon chimed in as well, asking a few questions here and there. You explained your internship and why you wanted to work at BigHit, skimming over the part about you being one of their fans, although it was probably already assumed. Yoongi had woken up at some point- you hadn’t even noticed- until he attempted to ask a question but was interrupted by the door to the SUV opening. You had arrived.

***

You had managed to get the boys checked in with no issues. Apparently Mr. Won had called ahead to let the front desk know the situation. For that, you were grateful. They had reserved the entire top floor of the hotel for BigHit, which meant you all got your own room and didn’t have to worry about other people. The seminar was being held downstairs in one of the large ballrooms, which meant no one had to leave the hotel until everyone left tomorrow. Perfect.

You didn't have much time in between getting everyone checked in and getting all of your things together before the seminar. You decided to take one of the rooms closest to the elevator so you could hear if anyone tried to leave. You looked down at your phone and realized the seminar started in only twenty minutes. You quickly got ready, grabbing all of the things your boss wanted you to bring. Then you rounded up all the guys and made your way down.

Luckily most of the people attending the seminar were very professional. BTS wasn't the only celebrities there, so you didn't have to worry too much. They were really good at formal situations. The seminar wasn't what you were worried about. It was the time after.

The seminar went by smoothly. You took diligent notes for not only your boss, but for yourself as well. Once everyone started to file out, you made sure to keep tabs on all three of them, making sure they all got back to their rooms before you did. By the time you had finally gotten into your room and gotten changed, you had someone pounding on your door. You groaned and got up, opening it. There was a bright eyed maknae smiling down at you.

“So, about that liquor…” he began, batting his long eyelashes at you.

You sighed. “Do you really think getting trashed is a good idea?”

“If you don’t go buy the liquor, he’ll go looking for it.” You heard Namjoon yell from his room.

Jungkook smirked at you and nodded. You groaned before turning around to grab your purse off of your bedside table. “Fine, but you’re staying here until I get back. Namjoon, please, can you watch him?”

Namjoon walked up to your door and gave you the ok with his finger before walking back to his room.

“Why does everyone assume I need baby sat?” Jungkook pouted.

“Because you’re a child.” Yoongi said as he appeared, finally coming out of his room, the one across from yours.

Jungkook rolled his eyes before looking Yoongi over. He was wearing a face mask and long black coat. “Where are you going?” He asked his hyung.

Yoongi yawned before shrugging. “We need liquor and I don’t know if I can trust Y/N’s taste.”

You raised your eyebrow before crossing your arms. “That’s a little rude, don’t you think?”

He shrugged again before making his way towards the elevator. “I have very specific tastes. It’s not your fault.”

You huffed but followed along after him. You didn’t want to have to, but he probably knows where the liquor store is, you don’t. The elevator ride was extremely awkward, for you anyway. Yoongi didn’t seem any different. He stayed quiet, looking through his phone until the doors dinged open. He then made his way out with you at his heels.

“How far away is the liquor store?” You asked as he put his mask fully over his face and walked out of the hotel.

You heard him chuckle. “You were planning on buying the alcohol but have no idea where it is? Jesus, where did they dig you up?”

You glared at him as you walked. If you had heat vision, his hair would be on fire already. “Look, I wasn’t supposed to be in charge. I just came here for the seminar. I just happened to get stuck babysitting you guys. I don’t enjoy it anymore than you do.”

He turned his head to the side to look at you. “Who said I didn’t enjoy it?”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, what?” Your blush was easily hidden due to the cold weather outside. Luckily. You couldn’t see his whole face but you were willing to bet he had a smirk on his lips.

He didn’t say anything else until you were down the street from the liquor store. He pointed towards it for you. Thankful to have one so close, you rushed past Yoongi and made your way inside to look at the selection.

You weren’t exactly sure what the guys all drank besides soju. You made sure to pick up some of that. You wandered down the vodka aisle, then the tequila aisle, stopping to pick up a bottle there. Finally you made it to the whiskey section. Whiskey was a personal favorite of yours so you were more inclined to buy that.

You looked at each bottle, trying to decide if you should get something new or something you already knew was good. As you debated between two bottles, Yoongi came up from behind you, pressing his chest against your back nonchalantly and grabbed the two whiskey bottles, looking them over.

“Not bad. Maybe I could have trusted your taste.” He said with a hushed voice against your ear. You had to fight back the shiver that wanted to go down your spine.

With that, he took both of the bottles and made his way up to the counter, waiting for you to join him. You brought the rest of the drinks and mixers up, paying for all of it with the company card. You were worried you were spending company money inappropriately. But Namjoon did give you a good reason. This way they can just stay in the hotel. It's safer.

The walk back to the hotel was silent. Yoongi didn't bother to say anything and after that awkward incident with him, you were fine with not talking. Once inside, you dropped off all of the alcohol in Namjoon's room and turned to head back out.

“You're not staying to drink?” Jungkook whined.

You shook your head before pointing at yourself. “Babysitter, remember? Someone needs to stay sober.”

Jungkook groaned and Namjoon smiled, giving you his big dimpled grin. “It won't be that bad. Come on.”

You tried to protest again but a glass of whiskey was pushed into your hand by a wandering Yoongi. He didn't look at you, but took a sip of his own glass as he walked over to an open chair.

You looked down at your glass and then back over to the guys. Jungkook's doe eyes looking hopefully up at you. You sighed and downed the glass, causing Jungkook and Namjoon to cheer. You rolled your eyes and refilled your glass. It was going to be a long night.

***

After a few hours of drinking and playing games, Namjoon had gone to bed. Jungkook passed out on the floor next to the bed. That left you and Yoongi as the only two awake. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and motioned for you to follow him. You did after taking a few moments to stabilize yourself.

He lead you both to his room, opening the door and letting you in. You hesitated for a moment and you heard Yoongi scoff before he gently pushed you into the room. You looked around and saw all of the equipment he had set up. He was only gone for one day and he still managed to bring all of this with him. You couldn't help the spark you felt when you saw it all. You immediately set your drink down on a table and went over to look over all the equipment. You didn't dare touch, but you cautiously hovered over it.

You continued to look over it, making comments here and there. You didn't usually have access to this kinds of equipment unless you were in class. You had completely forgotten where you were and who you were with until he cleared his throat.

“You know, most girls would kill to be in a room alone with a drunken idol. Yet here you are, ogling over my production equipment instead of me.” He tutted before finishing the whiskey in his glass and walking over to you.

You blushed at his comment but shrugged it off. “I made up my mind a long time ago. You guys are a fantasy. My job is a reality. I won't jeopardize that.”

“A fantasy? But darling, I'm right here.” Yoongi spoke softly as he moved against your back just like he had at the liquor store. He ran a finger down your arm, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

You bit your lip and closed your eyes. He was right. This wasn't a fantasy anymore. Min Yoongi was touching you. You two were alone in his room. No one else would know what happened between you.

Yoongi's finger moved from your arm to glide across your waist, right along the waistband of your jeans, sending another shiver down your spine. This time you grabbed his hand, pulling it away from you.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here.” You said before turning to walk out.

But Yoongi held onto your hand, stopping you. You didn't turn around. You just let him hold your hand and you sighed.

“You're getting the chance of a lifetime here, and you're going to turn it down because of an internship?” He asked, sounding almost wounded.

You nodded your head, unable to come up with something else to say. He was right. This could be an amazing opportunity. Sex with Suga of BTS. You'd practically be a legend. But then you would never be taken seriously as a music producer.

“Look at me.” He demanded.

You sighed and turned around, his hand still holding yours. There was something in his eyes, but you couldn't make it out. He started to step towards you and you stepped back until you were against the wall.

He smirked and continued to move closer to you. He held your hand above your head against the wall and leaned in to whisper in your ear. “I won't tell if you won't.”

Your face began to heat up immediately and you felt a tingle between your thighs. You looked away from his face, shaking your head. “It's not a good idea, Yoongi. The company is strictly against this sort of thing.”

“Fuck the company.” He whispered into your ear before he tugged your earlobe between his teeth. It caused you to gasp and you clenched your thighs together.

You could feel the grin on his lips as he moved down to your neck, kissing it softly before leaving little nibbles. He used his free hand to hold onto your waist, pulling you closer to his hardening groin.

You wanted to give in so bad. You wanted to let him do whatever he wanted to you. But you couldn't. If anyone walked in right now, if anyone found out, you'd lose everything you've worked for.

But it felt so good. One of the most beautiful men in the world wanted you. How could you say no? You'd be crazy to say no. But the reality of the situation was too much. He wasn't going to love you. You just happened to be a nice piece of ass that worked for the same company he did. And you were definitely more than just a piece of ass.

As you had your internal struggle, Yoongi had dropped your other hand, now keeping both on your waist. He finally lifted his lips from your neck and looked back at you, confusion washing over his face.

“You're really not into this, are you?” He said with disappointment in his voice.

You met his gaze for a moment, crossing your arms over your chest and looking back at the floor. “It's not that I'm not into it. You are my bias.” You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand.

Yoongi smirked. “Oh really? Good to know.”

You shook your head. “Forget I said that.”

“Unlikely, but continue.” He said as he took a few steps away from you.

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Look, you're great and I have so much I would love to learn from you and from working at this company. But like I told you earlier. I'm not risking my career to be your side piece or your hook up or whatever. I will not jeopardize this job.”

He stayed silent, nodding his head as you spoke. “Interesting take on the situation. But alright, I hear you. No more trying to get in you in my bed. Got it.” He walked over to the door and held it open for you, not saying another word.

You felt a knot grow in your stomach again. You just made your favorite member of BTS hate you. Great way to end the trip. You took a deep breath before bowing towards him and walking out of his room and going straight into yours. So much had gone on in such a short amount of time. Your mind didn’t know how to process everything.

You plopped down onto your bed, not even bothering to get under the sheets. You buried your face in the pillow and groaned. Why did you get your wish after you got serious about the job? Was this punishment for not forwarding those chain emails in middle school? Probably. Luckily for you, with all the alcohol in your system, your mind didn’t wander for long and you managed to fall asleep.

***

The ride back to BigHit was rather uneventful. You all had to get up early to leave because BTS had an appearance for something or other that afternoon. You were still hungover but all of the guys looked perfectly fine. Of course they did. They’re BTS. Before anyone could start a conversation with you, you put your own earbuds in and closed your eyes. You knew you weren’t going to catch up on any sleep, but anything was better than trying to make conversation at this point.

When you finally arrived back at BigHit, you waited until they all got out of the car before you left. You bowed to them and thanked them for the opportunity to work with them and left before they could say another word. You dashed over to the elevator quickly, heading straight up to your boss’ office and returned his laptop and company card. You sat down at his desk, emailing the remaining notes to yourself before closing it and letting out a sigh. What a weekend.

You waited upstairs for another half hour before you finally felt safe enough to head home. You didn’t want to risk running into them again. You couldn’t face Yoongi again after everything. This was just easier. When you felt the coast was clear, you finally left and made the trek to your apartment.

You were greeted with a giant bouquet of red roses. You reached down to grab the little card that was attached.

You’re more than a nice piece of ass. You’ve got pretty good taste in whiskey too. See you Monday- Your Bias

You smiled down at the note in your hand, biting your lip and swaying like a lovestruck middle school girl. You knew two things were true: Min Yoongi works quickly, and for the first time in your life, you were excited for a Monday.

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bangtan #bangtanbabeloveyourself #suga #yoongi #min yoongi #whiskey #drinking #alcohol #hotel #seminar #music producer #bighit #fanfic

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killingmebtob · 5 years

Text

Vindictive: Ruins and Dead Ends [Part Two]

Collaboration between Chi and Sara

Author: @killingmebtob // Sara

Title: Vindictive: Ruins and Dead Ends

Characters: BTOB and Reader B

Summary: There’s always a reason behind each and every action but how far can a reason justify ones actions?

Author’s Note: Part Two is here! Sorry it took a while but I hope that you’re all excited for it. Please do let us know how you think the story is going. Enjoy~!

Part One || Part Two

---

“What’s with the deep frown?” I asked as I set down the mug I was drinking from. Across the room, Minhyuk was sitting on the couch reading what probably was a text message on his phone. It was a Saturday evening and we’ve both agreed that I’d be staying over at his place for the whole weekend so that we could unwind. The expression on his face was on the opposite spectrum of unwinding. I plopped down on the couch beside him when he didn’t respond and rested my chin on his shoulder. “Hey,”

“Huh?” He mumbled before glancing at me. With a small smile, he sighed, shook his head, and kept his phone.

“You okay?”

Minhyuk nodded, “Yeah. It’s just work.”

We stared at each other for quite a while. Somehow, I had a feeling that it was more than just work. I couldn’t figure out what it was but he was often a little out of it. I’d find him chewing down on his lip while he’d be staring into the distance. There have been a couple of times when I had to say his name repeatedly before he snaps out of his trance. The dark circles under his eyes said a lot too. I knew that there have been nights when he couldn’t sleep well.

“Are you sure? You can talk to me about whatever it is, you know that, right?” I offered.

The corner of his mouth pulled up to one side in an attempt to smile. “I know. Don’t worry. I’m okay. It’s just the case…,”

“…and your mom,” I sighed as I reached out for and held his hand. “Has there been any news from the detective in-charge of finding her assailant?”

“No,” he huffed. “The longer time passes, the colder the trail gets,” Minhyuk lowly and darkly uttered.

It’s been over a month since his mom was admitted to the hospital. The detective speculated that his mom was most likely robbed while she was on her way home and after taking her belongings, the culprit assaulted her and left her for dead in one of the alleyways in their neighborhood. Luckily, she was found by a neighbor who immediately called for help.

It’s still clear to me how distraught he was that day. He was informed by the person who found his mom about the incident while he was on his way to work. Minhyuk had called me after that. It was the first time I heard an extreme amount of panic and worry in his voice. It broke my heart and the memory of that time still breaks my heart today.

I ended up calling sick that day just so I could be there with him at the hospital. There was a bit of relief when the doctor said that she was going to recover. Well, her body was going to recover. The sad news was no one knew when or if she was going to wake up. Everything was uncertain. It still is.

I know it kills him inside every day to see his mom in such a state while the culprit was probably out there somewhere doing who knows what. He had repeatedly expressed his intent to help in finding the person but the captain was firm about his decision to keep Minhyuk away from the case. The captain’s reasons were he has personal relations with the victim and he was loaded with the Reaper case.

A pout formed on my lips at the heavy atmosphere that dawned on us. So, I tried to change the topic.

“So… Is the FBI agent still getting on your nerves?”

Minhyuk scoffed, “Yeah, but it’s nothing. I just get annoyed when they keep on suggesting bizarre theories about the Reaper’s identity.”

“Oh. So, getting fed up with the feds?” I joked, trying to lighten his mood before sighing. Softly, I said as I squeezed his hand reassuringly, “I know there’s a lot of pressure around you right now, especially that the captain seems so adamant about the reaper case being a huge step in your career when you close it. And your mom’s condition is adding to that. But whatever it is that’s in your mind, whether it be work or just anything, I’m always here to lend you an ear,”

I could feel cold sweat building on my forehead as my throat was starting to run dry. My heart was thumping loudly in my ear as I stared at the scene in front of me.

Blood was pooling on the floor. The deep, dark red liquid felt like it was sucking me in and the only thing stopping me from falling into it was the body on top of it. The corpse was facing away from me but I knew that it had a slit on its throat, which was the reason for the pool of blood. I could also see familiar lacerations on the shoulders. They were similar to the ones I’ve seen and studied for quite a number of times.

Just as I was about to reach for the body, I froze at the feeling of the tip of a blade being pushed against my back. My heart hammered even more against my chest. I shut my eyes, scared for my life, while I did my best to stand still. I don’t know how long I kept my eyes closed but when I opened them, I was disoriented.

There was no blade pushing on my back. There was no pool of blood on the floor. Instead, I found myself on the bed staring at a digital clock, with the text 2:28 glaring back at me, and an arm loosely draped around my torso. I screwed my eyes shut as I took in the realization that it was just a dream. I tried to calm my heart by taking deep breaths but it wasn’t working.

Deciding that I couldn’t easily shake off the dream, I carefully peeled away from Minhyuk’s hold and replaced my spot with a pillow. He was in deep sleep, probably exhausted from his work and everything, and I didn’t want to wake him up. I made my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

The dream kept on replaying in my head the whole time.

“I think I’ve been spending too much time studying the case,” I uttered before taking another gulp from the glass. Ever since Gia sent me the message regarding the body being identified as Damien Dee, I’ve spent quite a huge chunk of my time trying to learn more about him. It wasn’t that easy given my limited resources.

The word resources rang in my head as my eyes flickered to the laptop left on the coffee table. It was Minhyuk’s. He had left it there when we arrived at his house earlier.

‘Open it,’ the devil in my mind was tempting me. Everything I needed would be in there—private details about the case, investigation reports, police records, and just about anything else that I have no way of accessing without his help. Those files would probably make up everything that was lacking in my own study of the whole case.

I bit down on my lip, contemplating if I should open it. I have an external drive in my bag that I could mount into the laptop to copy the files while he was sleeping.

But I shook my head and tore my gaze away from the device. “Don’t be stupid. You need to do this on your own. Besides, going behind his back to investigate after you said that you’d stop is bad enough,” I whispered to myself while heading back to the bedroom.

It was difficult to fall asleep again because of the guilt that was starting to brew inside my chest once more. I started to wonder if helping him was worth all the guilt and the consequences. I kept on thinking of how disappointed he would be if he finds out that I’ve been going behind his back. Not just disappointed but maybe even betrayed.

I couldn’t help but think back to a couple of days ago.

“Where are you going?”

I turned to my left to see Peniel looking up at me before his eyes darted to my bag then back to me again. I was hoping that he wouldn’t ask because I had no proper excuse.

“Uh,” I uttered. “I just have to meet with someone… for… an article,” I lied and I knew I did a terrible job at it. The amused smile that tugged on his lips annoyed me.

“Then shouldn’t I be coming with you?” He asked a bit smugly. “I mean, I am your partner,”

‘Temporary partner,’ I thought to myself as I forced a smile. “It’s fine. You can just—”

“Okay,” he suddenly beamed. “I’m coming with. I don’t think the chief would also appreciate it if you left without me. He’d also probably ask me and if I tell him your excuse, he’d wonder and then question you when you get back,”

I pursed my lips in annoyance. It’s one of the things I’ve learned about Peniel over the past few days. He’s insistent. It is a good characteristic but in some cases, it’s not.

“Okay, fine. Just…,” I heavily sighed and shook my head at his triumphant smile.

Getting a cab was a bit difficult and took some time. Well, compared to trying to ignore my partner’s questions, hailing a cab was way easier. After I had given the address to the driver, Peniel started bombarding me with questions again.

“So, where are we going?”

“Just some house,” I mumbled.

“What house?” He pressed even more, causing me to shoot him an annoyed glance. “I mean… I should know, right?”

“Just… A house. I need to talk to the caretaker,”

“Is this related to the folder that I saw on your desk the other time?” He asked and I stiffened at the mention of the folder. I was about to deny it but then he nodded. “Okay, okay. I see,”

The rest of the ride was silent. I was thankful that he stopped asking questions because it gave me some time to think. I know I shouldn’t have brought him with me but he did have a point. I’d be in deeper trouble if the chief questions me.

“This is it,” I sighed as we stepped out of the cab. We stared at the tall gates that separated us from a pristine white bungalow. The place screamed rich and wealthy.

“Wow,” he mumbled. “I know that there are rich people here but…”

“Yeah. Welcome to the upper side of Sunshine City,” I chuckled before ringing the buzzer.

I was swaying on the balls of my feet as we waited. The longer we stood there, the more nervous I became. There were so many what if’s in my head. What if the caretaker doesn’t believe us? What if the police are planning to search this place too? What if I run into Minhyuk here?

I snapped out of it when Peniel nudged me. I turned to him just to see that he was pointing to an approaching lady who had her hair pulled up into a bun. The person was wearing simple clothes and she even has a duster in her hand. She looked like she was around her late 50’s.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” She kindly spoke.

“Uh, yeah,” I nodded as I licked my lips. “I’m a consultant for the police department and he’s my associate. We just have a few questions regarding Mr. Damien Dee’s situation,”

“Oh,” her eyes widened before she nodded. She made quick work of the gate. “A detective and his team came here the other day. A handsome man, that detective,” she shared as she let us through.

I did my best not to sigh in relief that she let us in. Not just that, there was a low chance of us running into Minhyuk here. Peniel and I trailed behind her as she led us to the house.

“That was easy,” he whispered. “Given that you just brought me to the house of a homicide victim,”

I could hear the surprise that he was trying to hide in his voice.

“We just got lucky that the detective came before us,” I mumbled, feeling terrible.

We quickly settled ourselves on one of the couches in the living room. The caretaker offered to prepare drinks for us but we refused. I did my best not to let my eyes wander the interior of the house but Peniel was doing the exact thing that I was trying not to do.

“Wow,” he even mumbled.

I slightly shook my head at him before focusing on the caretaker. “I’m sorry that we bothered you at this time. You must’ve been working,”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. You said you had some questions?”

“Yes. Are you familiar with the Reaper case?” I questioned and she nodded. “Before his body resurfaced, did Mr. Dee mention anything about going to any social event?”

“No. He never says anything about his daily activities,”

“You didn’t find it strange that he went missing for a long time?”

“Mr. Dee was the kind of man who would rarely drop by his home. I didn’t think much of it because it wasn’t the first time that he disappeared for days. Before, he would go on long trips without letting me know so I thought that it was just another one of those instances,”

“I see,” I sighed. “Usually, the victims of the case are those who were tried at court but Mr. Dee didn’t have any case which required him to undergo trial recently. I’m thinking that it could have been a personal vendetta of the Reaper against him. Do you know if he got into any argument or fight recently?”

With a frown on her face, she shook her head, “Mr. Dee lives an extremely private life. He doesn’t share anything personal about himself.”

“Do you know anyone else who we can ask about him? Any family?”

The caretaker shook her head once again. “I’m afraid there is none. He never spoke of his family nor did he display any photo of them. But… there might be someone you can talk to. I can’t remember his name but he used to work for Mr. Dee as his secretary. If you can find him, then he might have more answers to your questions,”

“Very well. Do you mind if we search around the house? His office, perhaps?”

I was chewing on the inside of my cheeks as I sat in a coffee shop situated on the ground floor in one of the many buildings in the city. I’ve been here since I got out of work at 5 pm and I’ve seen so many people walking past the turnstiles and out of the building. However, none of them was the person I’ve been looking for.

Back when Peniel and I were in Damien Dee’s house, we found a photo of a group of people hiding in one of the drawers of his desk. It was the only thing that we found useful because everything else, like his laptop, was with the police. The photo was of a group of 10 to 15 men and that photo was enough for me because the caretaker was able to point out who used to be Damien’s secretary.

With a face, finding a name was as easy as 1, 2, 3. Peniel was surprised that I managed to find the person’s name by the time we were back in the city. His words rang in my head,

“Are you sure you’re a writer and not some kind of undercover detective?”

I remember chuckling and shaking my head before indulging his curiosity. I explained that I used to write news and reports about crimes in the city. That was where I started with my current company. With that line of writing, I had to learn how to get into crime scenes and how to work my way into finding people based on faces and descriptions. But it wasn’t just that. Ever since I was young, I’ve always had an interest in crime scenes and police work. Most of my interest was thanks to my dad who worked as a chief police officer.

My mom was against my interest. Well, she used to be fine with it. I could remember her smile every time I would say that I wanted to be like my dad. But things happened.

Being part of the police force also meant being on the frontline of danger. It meant making enemies in every corner of the city.

I couldn’t help but bite down on my lip when I recalled that day. I was on my way home from school and from miles away, you could hear the blaring sirens of police cars. I didn’t have a choice but to walk by the commotion because it was on my usual route home. Seeing that the police were present, I was hoping that I could get a glimpse of my dad at work. The way he was so passionate about his job made me look up to him greatly.

As I was walking by the police tapes, I noticed how terrible the officers looked. Some were shaking their heads while others looked lost. I did my best to search for my dad through the crowd but I wish I didn’t.

He was seated on the ground, his back resting limply against a car. His eyes were opened but they were devoid of anything. Three bullets were lodged into his chest; his white polo stained with his own blood. It was a sight that I thought only happened in movies. It never seemed real until it happened to me.

They said it was a thief that did it out of panic but a panicked thief wouldn’t shoot a cop thrice on the chest, especially in a public place. I knew that it was something else but no one really ever found who did it. The case was left to turn cold over the years.

My life quickly changed after that. My mom started packing up, saying that we needed a new life somewhere far from our hometown. That was what led us here to Sunshine City. The moment we stepped foot into the new city, she immediately forbade me from taking up anything that would gear me towards a similar career path as my dad’s. The desperation in her eyes as she repeatedly convinced me was still clear in my head.

Despite the unfortunate event that happened and her constant pleading, my interest never died. In fact, it burned even greater but it wasn’t enough to push me to not follow what my mom had wanted. So, I settled for second best: a writer who focused on criminal cases—specifically homicidal ones.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I checked my watch. It was now a couple of minutes after 7 in the evening. It’s been a long time since I talked to anyone about what led me to my job. Part of me still regrets following what my mom wanted, especially now. If I did what I wanted back then, then maybe it’d be easier for me to conduct an investigation about the reaper because I have the resources I needed. It was no use crying over spilt milk now. I just had to make do with what I have.

At around 7:30, the person I was waiting for finally walked past the turnstiles. I quickly grabbed my things and rushed out of the shop. Even if I was a bit far from the turnstiles, I knew that it was him based on the photo.

“Hey!” I called out as I did my best to catch up to him.

He turned, eyes wide with surprise. His head turned from side to side to check if I was referring to him. The man even pointed to himself. When I nodded, a question mark was clearly seen on his expression.

“Uh,” he mumbled when I stopped in front of him. I noticed that his eyebrows furrowed. “Have we met somewhere?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I shook my head, wondering why he said such a thing.

“Ah. You just seem familiar,” he mumbled. “Uh… Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Are you Seo Eunkwang?” I asked and when he nodded, I started explaining to him the same things that I said to Damien Dee’s caretaker. I was hoping that he’d let me ask him questions but the moment he heard the name Damien Dee, he stiffened and averted his gaze.

“I…I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I’m sorry but I can’t help you,”

“Please,” I pleaded but he was stubborn too.

Eunkwang kept on shaking his head while walking away. “I’m sorry but,” he once again shook his head. “I’m sorry,”

With that, he left me standing in the empty lobby of the building’s ground floor. I ran my hand through my hair out of frustration. Based on what had just happened, it would probably take me a while to get Eunkwang to talk to me about Damien. The way he suddenly started pushing me away at the mention of his name made me wonder about what kind of employee-employer relationship they had back then.

Over the next few days, I kept on trying to get him to trust me enough to talk to me. I did my best to chat him up, even walking alongside him when he leaves the building. By Friday, I was exhausted but I didn’t stop. I needed answers and details and he was the only one who might be able to give those to me at the moment.

“I’m sorry but I really can’t help you,” he shook his head, obviously tired of me following him around and asking him to talk to me.

“You can,” I pleaded. “And honestly, you’re the only person who can help me at the moment,”

Eunkwang earnestly shook his head and started walking away again but I rushed ahead of him and blocked his path.

“Look. I’m not with the police department. I’m not a consultant. Okay? I lied a few days ago. I’m actually a news writer but what I’m doing has nothing to do with my job. I…,” I sighed as I chewed on my lip. I felt terrible admitting to him that I lied.

“I could call the cops on you for that,” he stated but there was no threat in his voice. It was just like he was stating a fact.

“I know. But can you just at least hear me out? I’m not doing this for fun. I’m as serious as the police and the FBI when it comes to this case,”

Eunkwang thought about it for a moment before he nodded.

I huffed, thinking of how I could properly explain myself. “This Reaper case has been going on for a long time. I’ve been doing my own investigation about it about two or three years after the case was opened. The detective in-charge is my boyfriend. The only reason why I’m doing this is him,” I admitted. “I know that I may be getting in the way. I know that I may also be putting myself in danger. But I want to help him. I want to help him get this case closed. I can see how tired he is and it worries me greatly. If I can find something that he can’t, an angle or a hidden clue, then that may be a big help for him and his team.

“There’s just something about this case with Damien Dee that makes me feel like I can help him—that I can find something that he won’t. Can you please help me?” I wanted the ground to eat me up when I realized how desperate I sounded.

The man before me heavily sighed. “Fine. I’ll answer your questions but you have to promise me that you won’t say that those answers came from me. I’d much rather not involve myself in this case,”

#btob #btob imagines #btob scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #eunkwang #minhyuk #changsub #hyunsik #peniel #ilhoon #sungjae #vindictive #vindictive: ruins and dead ends

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t0ngue-tech · 7 years

Text

Longing For You

“Out of all of things that were stacked on your plate for your senior year, your unrequited feelings for Taehyung was the thing stressing you out the most and you hated it. You already had enough to worry about, feelings shouldn’t be one of them.”

↠soft angsty ish, highschoolAU↞

word count: 3.3k

↠series↞

A/N: ya girl is back with another cheesy best friend/unrequited love AU! not gonna lie, these stories are definitely one of my faves to write. hopefully you’re not tired of it yet lol. i hope you guise enjoy this story ^-^

You stared at your laptop screen for what seemed to be hours, but in reality it’s only been 15 minutes. Senior year started a month ago and it already felt like you were swamped with a lot more work than you were supposed to be. But of course, you were student council president, the workload was already a given.

As council president, you were in charge of the events for your class which also meant the winter formal. The entire council had already begun an outline during the last couple weeks of summer vacation, so you were going over it trying to map things out more specifically. You squinted at the black lettering of the document and pushed your laptop away from you to plant your face onto the table.

You took an almost full schedule of AP honors classes and the first month of school already wiped you out. Not having enough hours of sleep was a side effect of taking the AP classes and you were already warned about it.

“Good luck on sleep, y/n. You won’t be getting any of it.”

“I’m shocked, Tae. Are you doubting me?”

“Ehh. Just warning you.”

“Well, he wasn’t wrong.” You mumbled and brought you head up to rest your chin on your palm. You stared out the window to see if you could get a good glimpse of the basketball courts. “Hm, empty.”

“Class prez’! How’s my favorite girl?” The deep bass of a boy’s voice startled you to the car. A very sweaty student walked into the council room with a backpack over his shoulder and a basketball under his arm. “Looking for me?”

“You wish, Tae.” You folded your arms across your chest and tipped your head back.

“Ouch. I haven’t seen my best friend for a week and this is how you treat me?”

You and Kim Taehyung knew each other since you were both toddlers. Your fathers worked together through business and were constantly overseas during your childhood. This meant that your mothers would get together for a meal and you and Taehyung would play together. Being this close resulted in attending the same elementary, middle, and eventually, high school. There was no way of escaping Taehyung’s personality and his love for spontaneous adventures. He always wanted to hangout, get a late night snack, or even trespass in the community center pool to go for a swim. Not only did you have a lot of memories with Taehyung, you also had gut wrenching feelings.

“Stop being dramatic. I’m just tired.” You weakly smiled at him and sat up straight.

“I know. Why don’t you replace one of your AP classes with a regular honors class? I’m taking honors english and it’s not so bad.” Taehyung dropped his belongings and sat on the edge of the table you were working on. “Oh! Take the class with me! You can still switch!”

You laughed dryly at his comment. Despite not seeing him for a week, you saw Taehyung enough and having him in a class was internally going to make things more complicated for you.

Your feelings for Taehyung never surfaced until middle school. It was a late night and you both were hurrying home after staying out to try and catch fireflies. Your mason jars came up empty, but the adrenaline rush of running into the night was always euphoric for you. Taehyung suggested a short cut and this involved hopping over a tall fence. As you followed his method in climbing over the steel barricade, you misplaced your foot and slipped at the top. You scraped your knee on one of the wires at the top and crashed onto the pavement. For a moment, you had no idea where you were because the impact of the fall had you in shock.

“Y/n! Are you okay? Holy fuck—what hurts? Can you stand?” Taehyung frantically rushed to your side to help you sit up against his chest.

“Yeah, I think I can—ah! Fuck!” You tried to lift yourself off of the cement, but the pain in your knee prevented from doing so. The pain was unbearable and when you looked down, there was a tremendous amount of blood soaking your leg.

“Oh my fuck. Okay, hold on I need to control the bleeding.” Taehyung tossed his backpack aside and peeled his shirt off to use it as a gauze. After securing it, knelt down with his back towards you. “Carry my backpack and climb on, I’ll carry you to my house since it’s closer from this side.” You obliged because of your inability to walk.

There were about two more blocks until Taehyung’s neighborhood and you two spent the time talking about random things. The whole walk there you soaked in the warmth of his skin and broadness of his shoulders. His honey colored hair smelt like apples and pinewood and you were amazing by his stamina for carrying you the whole way there.

“I’ll have my mom call your mom so she’s not worried. Hm, we’re going to have to think of an excuse though. After what happened to you in the sixth grade I don’t think she would be happy hearing that you hopped a fence.” You laughed at the memory of your mom being horrified over the purple-blue bruise you got from hopping a fence.

You dipped your head into the side of his neck and hummed. “I can just say I slipped trying to catch a firefly. I’ll deal with the details myself.” Taehyung nodded his head and lifted you upward to adjust your position. “You can put me down, you know. We’re not too far from your place.”

“It’s fine, y/n. Your knee was cut up pretty bad.” There was a hint of concern in Taehyung’s voice and you closed your eyes, burying your face deeper into his skin. “When you fell, I called your name twice and you didn’t answer… I almost cried on the spot.”

“Stop being dramatic, Tae.” You laughed.

“I’m serious, y/n. Let’s cut back on the night time adventures until you fully heal. No matter how many daring things we’ve done, I’ve never been more scared than I was at that moment.” Taehyung couldn’t see you but your eyes softened and you could tell your cheeks were flushed.

Hearing Taehyung talk to you like that was almost like a taboo of some sorts. It was always “suck it up, the cut will close up tomorrow,” or “clean it, put a band aid, and let’s head right back.” Taehyung’s version of “tough love” was practically vanilla and his solution to everything was to slap on a band aid. The words he said to you made your heart race and it made you wonder if it was really your Taehyung that was carrying you.

“O-Okay.” You sputtered.

“I’ll ask my mom to ask your mom if you could sleep over.”

“Tae, I live two blocks after yours. I can walk after I rest for a bit.”

“Nope. I won’t allow that. You’ve slept over before, so I’m pretty sure your mom won’t mind.”

It was true, you did sleepover multiple times in the past. You took his bed while he slept comfortably on a foldable mattress on the carpet. This was something you were already used to and yet, your heart wouldn’t stop pounding.

You didn’t sleep well that night.

“So? What do you say, y/n? Take my honors english class.” Taehyung’s voice brought you back to reality. Hopefully you weren’t spacing out for too long.

“Eh, I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I like my teacher for that class. Maybe I’ll consider a different one.”

“Fine, but you’re going to be missing out on the seatmate ever.”

You put your attention back to your laptop and began rereading the outline. Taehyung noticed and stood behind you to take a peek.

“Ooh! Is this the winter formal? Do we have a theme yet?” Taehyung settled his hands beside your arms, trapped you right in between and settled his chin on your head. Thankfully he was standing behind you so he wouldn’t have to see how flushed your cheeks were. Taehyung had no problem with physically keeping you close to him. Whether it was wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you walked in the hallways, leaning his head on your shoulder when he sat down beside you, or tightly holding onto your sweaty hand trying to get you to run faster. If it wasn’t for him piggy backing you and saying those words back in middle school then maybe you would be used to these actions. Even after doing it a million times, you still weren’t adjusted.

“Y/n, what the heck are you doing here? We told you to go home today so you could rest.” A mutual friend of you and Taehyung, Jung Hoseok, stood in the doorway.

“Hey Hoseok! Your hair faded into a pretty cool color.” Taehyung released you from his clutches to give Hoseok a bro hug.

“Right? Surprisingly, the purple and silver pink-ish color mixes well together.” He ruffled his hair and approached you flick your forehead. “Go home, Ms. Stubborn.”

Taehyung stared at you with wide eyes and closed your laptop. “She isn’t supposed to be in the council room today?”

“Nope. She kept falling in and out of sleep during yesterday’s meeting so we decided for her to go straight home and take a nice long nap.” You stared at your oddly colored hair friend with a displeased look.

“Well, if that’s the case—” Taehyung gathered all of his belongings, including yours, and pulled you up by the arm. “Let’s go home together.”

↠↞

The car ride home was the same as usual, Taehyung reclined the passenger seat almost all the way down and stuck his feet out your window. He rambled on about how nervous he was for his road test next week. You got your provisional license before Taehyung and this resulted in you driving him around everywhere because you barely trusted him with your car. It was a bit terrifying sitting in the passenger seat when Taehyung drove, but over time it wasn’t as life threatening as it was in the beginning.

“Hopefully I pass the road test. Signing up for an appointment online was hard as fuck because the spots fill in quick and I want to be able to drive to the winter formal.” He groaned scratching his scalp with full force.

“You’ll be fine, Tae. Just relax and continue to practice driving until your appointment.”

“If I fail and there’s no other spots open before the formal, my date and I can ride with you and your date, right?”

The conversation escalated quickly and his question caught you off guard. “Y-You know who you’re taking to the formal already?” You really didn’t mean to stutter when asking your question, but fortunately Taehyung didn’t make a remark about it at all.

“Nah, I’m just generally speaking.” You were relieved, but honestly, you had a feeling that there was no way Taehyung would seriously ask you to be his date. “Hey, but if I can’t get myself a date and if someone doesn’t ask you, do you want to go together?”

“Okay, fine with me.”

↠↞

“You have a chance with going with Tae to the formal. What’s wrong with that?”

“Hoseok, do you not realize how many girls fawn over the ace player of our basketball team?!”

Textbooks and notebooks were sprawled in the middle of your bed whilst you and Hoseok surrounded them. The nap you took only lasted for an hour and you still woke up exhausted. Due to not being able to nap, you called Hoseok over to study. You both studied for about a half an hour until you became distracted and directed your attention elsewhere.

“So? None of those girls are you.” Hoseok reassured you by tossing a crumpled piece of paper at your face. You gave him a weak smile and reached over squeeze his knee.

You met Hoseok during your junior year when he won position as class treasurer. At first he seemed quiet, someone who kept to himself, but he easily opened up to you after a week or two and he was the complete opposite.

Over the past year, Hoseok remained by your side and helped you through council and your classes. It turned out that he knew Taehyung through a science class in sophomore year, so the three of you got along perfectly. It was until Hoseok told you that you and Taehyung would make a cute couple and it triggered you to open up about your feelings for your best friend.

Hoseok fully supported your feelings and wanted to help blossom a romantic relationship, but you adamantly refused. You already stitched in your mind that Taehyung was just your friend and that’s all it was going to ever be.

“Anyways,” you sigh. “How is long-distance so far? You two doing okay?”

“It’s going alright so far. Seokjin is still trying to adjust to his time zone, but overall we’re still fine.” Hoseok explained with a smile.

The vice president of last year’s council was Kim Seokjin, who was Hoseok’s boyfriend. They began dating after a few months of getting to know each other and were still happily together a year later. During the summer transitioning into senior year, Seokjin had to move abroad due to his parents job and also to be closer to his college of choice. Hoseok had been in a slump for weeks, but you helped pick him up back to his cheerful self.

They kept their relationship under the radar and it wasn’t because they were ashamed, it was plainly because they wanted to keep their relationship to themselves.

“It must be such a beautiful thing having a relationship with someone with mutual romantic feelings.” You spewed out, slumping back onto your side.

“I told you, I can pull strings and set you two up! It’ll be fine!” Hoseok reached over the pile of books to latch onto your wrists and pull you back up.

“Hoseok, no. You’ve seen the girls he talked to, I don’t fit into that category—speaking of the devil, hello?”

Your phone was buzzing beside you; a call from Taehyung.

“I hunger. Let’s get something to eat!”

“Sorry, Tae. I’m currently studying with Hoseok.”

“You didn’t want to study with me instead?”

You looked up at Hoseok and gave him a weird look. “Aren’t you tired of seeing me all the time?”

“Never. I would never get tired of seeing you. Don’t tell me you’re sick of me, y/n?”

It was clear to Hoseok that Taehyung said something gut wrenching because of how pink your cheeks had gotten.

“No, Tae. I’m not sick of you. Let’s get something to eat after school tomorrow. I don’t have concil.”

“Okay. You promised!”

Taehyung ended the call and you tossed your phone near Hoseok’s direction. You cupped your cheeks to cool down the warmth, but your friend was already chuckling to himself.

“Shut up or else you’re not getting dinner.”

“Okay, okay, y/n. Whatever you say.”

↠↞

Time came and went and you were seeing Hoseok off at your porch. Your mom had always treated Hoseok like a son, so he was welcome to your home anytime. The sun had completely set when he left, but you sat at the stairs of your porch to take in the nighttime breeze. Out of all of things that were stacked on your plate for your senior year, your unrequited feelings for Taehyung was the thing stressing you out the most and you hated it. You already had enough to worry about, feelings shouldn’t be one of them.

You hated knowing Taehyung all your life. You hated knowing his likes and dislikes, the girls he dated, the girls who would ask for his number. It annoyed you how open he was with his life because you knew every single thing about him and vice versa. But the one thing he didn’t know about you was the only thing that could break your friendship.

Even if you hated all of those things, you loved it all. You loved the way Taehyung went to you first when he needed to vent about something. You loved it when he surprises you with a figurine or a hair accessory because it reminded me of you, so I had to get it. He knew how to cheer you up and how to push your buttons. He memorized your coffee order, favorite foods, and knew exactly when it was the time of the month for you.

“Dude, you don’t have to know that.”

“Y/n, I have to. It’s my job.”

You thought that falling in like with a best friend only happened in movies and books, but you were experiencing it first hand. It was emotionally exhausting for you. You once stopped talking to Taehyung for a week to see if it would make things easier, but he wouldn’t leave you alone. He constantly asked you what he did wrong and what he could do to better himself. This resulted in you telling him that you were just feeling emotional during that week and he brought you brownies to make you happy.

“You look like you just went through a bad breakup.”

You couldn’t tell if the universe was working for you or against you because the next thing you knew, Taehyung was walking up your driveway with a plastic bag in one hand.

“I coming bearing gifts!” Taehyung took a seat beside you and dropped the plastic bag in your lap. “My mom’s brownies!”

A smile automatically bloomed across your face because Taehyung knew damn well how much you loved his mother’s baking. Before you could open the bag yourself, he beat you to it by reaching in within a blink of an eye. Right when you were just about to yell at him, he breaks a piece off the delectable square and pushed it past your lips.

“Now tell me, who hurt you?”

“No one, Tae. Just thinking about all of the shit I have to do for school.” You lie in between chews.

“Ah, yes. I can relate. I tend to also stare off into the distance and sadly think about school.” You scoff at his response. You weren’t sure if he was actually sympathizing or mocking you.

“What brings you here?” You asked, breaking another piece off the brownie but instead of eating it, you fed Taehyung.

“Well, I was eating dinner and I saw my mom preparing all of the shit she uses to bake brownies and I was like, ‘yo mom, put some on the side and I’ll drop some off to y/n since she loves your desserts.’” Taehyung casually explained and you couldn’t help but laugh. He always knew how to explain something as simple as that in a humorous tone. As quick as he came, Taehyung stood up and prepared to leave.

“You don’t want to stay?” You asked with a pout you didn’t mean to use.

“Why? You’ll miss me?” He teased and that earned him a light kick to his ankle. “I’m kidding. I have some shit I need to do, so I should head home.”

You stood up and nodded your head. “Alright. Head home safely.”

“See you tomorrow, y/n.” Taehyung smirked and ruffled your hair. You watched him scurry down your driveway and vanish down the street.

Taehyung was an ethereal human being who you were blessed to have as a best friend. But sometimes you thought about how much easier your life would have been if you weren’t best friends. At the same time, he was your sounding board and ride-or-die. He was such an important person in your life and you knew you needed him.

And that’s what scared you the most.

♡ rae jagi

#bangtan boys #bts #taehyung #taehyung scenarios #bts fanfics #bts angst #taehyung angst #meep #taetae #rae writes

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crystal-rogue-blog · 7 years

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Journey to Hell... Michigan Part 2

You thought the story ended with us leaving? Haha, you know that bad stories never end with them just leaving. Of course, we left, in fact we even made it home, however, we didn’t stay there long. I got home just in time for my other friend..... we will call him Sam, for lack of a better name, to stop by. He has been fixing my laptop for a while now. My other friend, we will call her.... Amy, just because, had completely broken it on accident. When I first got it, it was already broken, although, I didn’t want to admit that because I liked it so much. Anyway, so she completely broke it and it just stopped working. Made me very upset. Watson let me use his secondary computer, yes he has too, why? That is a story for another time.

Anyway, after Sam dropped off my computer and I just barely got reacquainted with it, Amy came in and we all sat talking for a while until Sam had to leave for work. No sooner had he left that she started to say stuff like “We should go on a drive.” We have been on drives before so of course, I wasn’t expecting much.

It wasn’t until I went to get in that I realized something was up. As I was getting in she said “bring your charger.” “Why? How long are we going to be gone?” “A while. We might not get back until 8 in the morning.” “Where are we going?” “To see the water.” “Um, where?” “I don’t want to tell you because you won’t go.” “I am feeling like not going because I don’t know where you are taking me.” “Um... Traverse City.” “Haha.... that is far away you know.” “Yeah, if you don’t want to go then you don’t have to, but I am going. I want to go see the water.” “I was literally just there. Do you think your van can handle it?” “You were just there? I didn’t know, you just said that you went to Michigan.”

Anyway, lets skip the rest of this boring conversation and try to get on to the funny stuff. Now, I couldn’t let her go alone. Her van is almost older than we are and practically falling apart at the seams and it was quite a ride, let me tell you.

Before we left our state she confides in me that she actually wants to go meet this guy she is talking too online. I was like “hah, lets bring Watson, he has a license to carry a firearm and I want to not be kidnapped.” She agrees. Watson thinks we are joking at first. He also doubts the van can make a full trip and doesn’t want to leave us alone. He reluctantly agrees to come.

(Just to show you how funny this conversation is, I am going to post what was actually said here.

Me: Amy is taking me to Traverse City right now.

Me: She waited until I got in the car to tell me.

Watson: Yeah? lol

Me: Lol she was afraid I wouldn’t go if I knew

Me: Want me to ask if you can come?

Me: We’re literally just driving there and back.

Watson: I’m not stupid haha

Me: We’re driving there so she can meet her online bf.

Me: And then driving back

Watson: Rogue are you being serious

Me: lol apparently

Watson: That’s not a good idea.

Me: Yeah, well, I’m a hostage so

Watson: Is she driving her van?

Me: Yeah.

Watson: Traverse city is where I took you to see Lake Michigan. What if her car breaks down? You’ll be 5 hours away from home in the middle of nowhere.

Me: Ill call someone.

Watson: I feel like your messing with me. And if you’re not. Tell her to stop thinking with her *expletive* You guys could get hurt.

Me: Want to come?

Watson: I will if you’re being serious.

If you were wondering whether or not I was going to write our actual names just because we said them in our actual chat. You were wrong. Still hidden.)

We’re going to skip over the ride there because it isn’t really important. We drive by this guys house and she starts getting cold feet... probably because there is no heat in her car and the temperature was in the 20s.

Anyway, she freaks and drives to the gas station. She finally gains the courage tell him she drove there. I know, why didn’t she tell him before she made the trip? She wanted it to be a surprise. He told her to come back to his house. We did. We waited outside for 30 minutes. Then he finally told us that his mother won’t let him come meet her. We think this is weird because he is 23 years old. Too each his own. She leaves in a huff. We’re in her car. Freezing to death. I forgot to mention that at the gas station we got hand warmers for our hands and feet.

So, we start making the long trip back. Me and Watson start falling asleep in the car. Suddenly I hear a wear flapping noise. I am confuse and startle myself awake. I sit up just in time to see her pull off the road and get out of her car to come check the tire on my side. I roll my window down. I am not going to lie to you... this tire... this tire was mad fucked up. There were puncture holes all over it, and the rim was bent, but that isn’t the worst part. One of the bolts was put on with an air hammer (whatever that is) ((I am not car savvy)) and apparently her grandfather had tried to chisel it off. So, it was stuck on there and we were stuck three hours away from home.

It was probably karma for making fun of Watson and his home-state with its state bird the pothole. Or Mosquito, whichever one you know Michigan by. Anyway, so, we didn’t know what to do. She had left her spare tire at home and even if she had brought it, she didn’t have any tools to fix it anyway. We started calling around, but everyone seemed to be busy except for the friends that I forgot I had until after the incident and Sam. He had just gotten off work. I should tell you, we got stranded at 7:30 in the morning.

Sam agreed to help us and sped crazily to get to us. Amy was having a mental breakdown. She slammed her hands on her steering wheel, she slammed the door. You would think she was overreacting, but she wasn’t acting that way because of the accident. She was already upset about the whole situation and her mother called to tell her she was a disappointment, that she made everything about her all the time. She was trying to get her to sell her dog, which is her medicine. Her dog is an emotional support animal for her depression and other problems and her mom was telling her to sell her because she wasn’t responsible enough to have a “child”. It got crazy, her mother got more and more selfish and didn’t offer to help us at all even though she wasn’t working at all today or that her daughter was stuck in the middle of no where. Amy tried apologizing and her mother made her out as if she was being sarcastic and was just screaming and screaming on the phone.

Finally Sam came to the rescue, but unfortunately the one bolt proved to much for us so we called a tow truck to tow us to The Mart’s Wall (yeah, that is what I am calling it to keep the name out of it.) auto repair zone. Then The Mart’s Wall told us that they couldn’t help because it would take a repair man to get that tire off and that there was one across the street. We resigned to the fact that we might have to call the tow truck guy back when Watson went to call the repair place and found out that it was closed.

Stressed out, we had to leave the van where it was in The Mart’s Wall parking lot. We tried to drive it far enough to move it to a regular spot so that it wasn’t in the way of the repair shop that doesn’t repair anything, however, the van was pretty much on its last leg and moving it, even just across the parking lot would have caused it to break down and there was no way we could move it unless we called a tow truck and even then there was no where for it to go.

Amy and I walked in to ask if we could leave it there until Monday. We were waiting at the desk and no one showed up, eventually an old man, that had seen us come in and was one of the people who refused to help us, literally without speaking ushered us back outside. Failing we returned to the van. I was fully ready just to leave it here anyway. At first we weren’t sure if he had went to talk to the boys and was just letting us back outside until we reached them and found out that they hadn’t.

Watson kind of took charge then. As far as the story goes, he went inside and tried talking to the same man that ushered us out, but he just straight out ignored him. Finally he said “We aren’t from around here. We can’t tow the van 3 hours back to where we are from. Can we leave it here until Monday so we can get it repaired?” and He said “No” So... Watson just asked someone else. They said they didn’t care and since he was right next to the rude old man who wouldn’t help us. I think that it is perfectly fine. I mean, he heard him say it was okay.

Anyway, so we headed home. It was a rough day, but I am glad it is over. Prepare for part 3 on Monday. haha.

#Michigan #Travelling #Adventure #Crazy #Stressful

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deadcatelog · 7 years

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chaha,, this is why i ended up crying on the sidewalk at 12am outside of a public event i’d brought a ticket for because i wanted....... i thought we both wanted to go........ she told me she was in the city then suddenly she says she realized she was actually in longisland and about 2hrs away from the city........ even when.

i thought were going to do something fun together again for once, since it’d been so long...... i sai d i wanted to go see it and she said she wanted to come and i told her where i was.. she has a car and i took the train which is a lot slower and; she never responded? we used to talk for hours.. then about an hour, or a little more than an hour away? maybe 2? from when the event was soupposed to start she told me she was hanging out in a lounge with some of her other friends. drinking and partying? i was nt mad she was enjoying herself but i was peevedshe didn’t even tell me she was back in the city.... even if that was the case that she ever wasn t omg... it wasso close to when the even was soupposed to start. there’s no cell service in the subway and my phone was abt to die. i texted her asking, i don’t remember? omething about the event.i think i told her i was an hr away from it and since we were both in different places and w diff. transportation situations... she took so long to respond... my phone was about to die.. im so fucking easy to fool lmao, i was curled up in the corner of a room after i finally walked in the event charging my phone for 2 hrs (the event was 3 hrs) waiting for anything... she always lets her phone die when shes out late at night. my phone was on 1% so i thought maybe hers was too so i stopped thinking about it and just sat at the bar and listened to the music. i think my last text to her was “are you coming?” i woke up in the middle of the day the next day and there was just still no response.. i should have expected this. she’s been so cold lately. she probably just realized what a fucking mess and a burden i was and that she didn’t have to do that once she saw how normal people acted towards each other. she probably didn’t want to deal with the stress......she was being nice about it and i was being an idiot. last time we hung out i pointed out that there was this function in manhattan while we were in queens after getting something to eat, we spent all day in queens until she led me into a dunking donut and sat down and we sat there for hours. she said she had to charge her phone. she had a portable charger. right before this she kept telling me how tired she was and how she wanted to go home and i protested but then i was like... ok thats fine ur tired lets go to ur car and i’ll see u off but she told me she’d parked really really far away.i didn’t mind, she was the last person whose company i enjoyed. i was so scared of the idea that she wanted nothing to do with me. we stayed in that fucking donut shop for hours. i was tired too so i got a double expresso so we could hang out like we’d sai we’d do.... like i’d traveled 2hrs for to do.... she didn’t even talk to me almost the entire time, she was jst staring at her phone. maybe complaining about how i wouldn’t take a hint. i don’t even know who those ppl r she never told me anything about them besides the fact that some of them were older than her and they went out drinking together often. she sounded like she really liked them. i didnt care that she had other friends whose company she enjoyed so much... it made me happy to see how well she was doing after hs. god im such a fool. i’m so fucking stupid im literally fucking retarded. she;d been acting weird and distant for months. i thought that was just what is was like watching your hs friends grow up when u two were in completel different situations but there were so many times where i’d toss all my plans to prepare to travel/hang out w her just to show up and suddenly she didn’t have the time bc she had something she had to do that ...just so happened to be starting like 10 minutes after i’d traveled all the way across manhattan to see her... im a fucking idiot. she probably decided she didn’t like me anymore a long time ago after nothaving to deal w me every day and was probably trying tolet me go easy by letting me chose not to make the same dumb decisions over and over but i was so desprate to hold onto her bc no one else talks to me. an y sane person wouldn’t have stood up for that... and some times i did say to her that what it wasn’t cool to call me over and say we should hang out only to tell me she’d have to bail for an interview or something she was scheduled for like a week b4 we met up or something. she never responded to those texts. i was so scared she would decide she was mad at me and done dealing with me so i never mentioned them again even though it fucking hurt. i felt like a toy being tugged around when she got bored but immediately threw away when something else, something more important than leisure of course, came up. i dont know how to make friends. looking back on it, were we even really best friends like i thought? we were only friends for a year, maybe that wasn’t enough? i enjoyed her comapny... and S’s comapny, and sometimes A’s company so much... especilly when we were all thogether even if it was just in class. maybe im just being inconsiderate and i cant see why so im jumping to conclusions bcfrom my point of view i’m?? everything hurts again. im always the fucking dummy, the crazy psycho weirdo that even the nicest ppl could see needed to be put down before it hurt anyone or them. even someone as blind as me can see it in their fucking eyes. they get wide, they back up a bit or hunch their shoulders and stop talking and my fucking dumbass just walks forward and keeps running my dumb mouth bc all i think of it is ‘oh! what happened? they wont be able to hear me from that far away i’ll walk closer and keep taling’ ad now im just afucking angry loser screaming like a fucking toddler on the floor about how unfair the world is when the truth is nobody deserves to fucking have to deal with me. mr g was right to fucking hate my entitled guts. ms garia was right to fucking hate my guts too while putting on a huge fake grinthat i just saw as proof that what i thought she was probably thinking of me was just my outlandish brain trying to make me feel like the entire world was fucking against me when in reality that wasn;t the case when in reality that was the case because they have a fucking reason to be. even though i wasbeginning to ate my uncle for basically cornering me all the time and listing off all the ways he thought i was stupid and disgusting and a pain to have around wasn’t he fucking right? it i it cant just i cant just run around being offended by everyone in the world and giving them the silent treatment-- even if i thought i was giving them space,how could they fucking know??

there probably isnt a person on this planet that would feel sympathy for my fucks. ed up situation because they suddenly have to deal with treating this entitled stupid bitch super delicately least she hurt them. i don’t even know what i do to hurt them, but i do it anyways. im 100% sure that its just by being me. my mother always fucking screamed at me since i was little how much of a curse i was on her. i can’t imagine my brother came out of nowhere with what he was thinking when he stomped upstairs and choke slammed me against my fucking bed and screamed in my face while he shook me and stepped on my laptop after i took my food back. he called me ungrateful. he yelled it to me straight in my ear as if to force it into my head. i don’t even remember being ungrateful?? he talked about brining home food he let me eatallthe time like white astle but i thought i’d always expressed my gratitute but maybe i didn’t?? i don’t remember. i always felt like id din.

there’s a fucking REASON why EVERYONE i meet thinks im a fucking liar and more than worthy of their distain and being put in my place whether it meant i’d get my feelings or my fucking face hurt. everyone wants me to apologize to my brother. and my mother. everyone thinks im being an unreasonable cunt. EVERYONE in my family has shown distain or disapointment in me. it doesnteven fucking matter that i was ableto get into one of the best schools in the country. now i just get even more people outright avoiding me or confronting me bout how much of a fucking disgrace they think i am. my fucking exsistance is always a major fucking burden on everyone around me. it just keeps happening again and againandn again and i keep trying to change but the cycle never stops. it doesnt matter how good of a persn i run into, after having to deal w me for a few weeks they’ll start pushing me out of the way if im walking too slow or step on my toes or avoid me and talk about me behind my back. i can imagine it.... i’ve always told myself i was wrong and oerthinking myself but it always turns out to be true and its always worse than i imagned they’re always way more pissed off at me for my bullshit and that hurts more than any ~over anxious thinking~ i could tell myself. they dont deserve to have to deal with a fucking demon like me but im fucking human too and it hurts so fuking bad. i an see how much they hate me or are pissed to have to put up with me. my uncle told me a few weeks ago that he wish i knew how much he wanted to fucking hurt me when he came back to his apartment and saw the mess i made... i swear to god i was letting the fucking meat defrost... it was 1am bu i was up the entire time; i was making burgers. there were two and the first one was fucking raw and frozen on the inside despite deforsting it in the microwave. he asked me over and over again when school was starting again. i wanted to cry at how obvious it was he wanted me fucking out. i thought i just had bad luck witht my mom but that made me realize it wasn’t fucking bad luck it was all my own fault. probably from the very beginning. i couldn’t help that i didn’t want towash the dishes then and did eveything i ould to get out of it with her. i couldn’t help that even though i did wash the dishes and cleaned up after myself that i let everything aroun d me get so bad before i did something about it. back then i just didnt want to do it and i thought it was unfair that i was always the one to clean the dishes all the time while tony only had to tae out th e trash once a week or so. every time she told me to get off my ass and wash the dishes it was so fucking full it made me mad that i was cleaning up after everyone else. and every time i pointed that out of course both of them were aginst me. she and he told me in their own ways they bot h thought it was only fair.

that fucking bitch. she wasn’t even anywhere close to fucking proud when i got into columbia. her voice was flat the entire time, i tried to get her excited so hard. i knew she cared about money, i told her how much money a school like this could help me make and it was basically fucking radio scilence. and i wasn’t even anywhere comfortable, i was at this place in brooklyn (fucking brooklyn, fuck brooklyn) for this other girl i’d just become friends with (that’s a lie, i dont become friends w ppl idk how she just picked me up like a dog off the dtreet. she told me she liked to do that with people once)and this new teacher that got so pissed at me when i wandered off like i wasn’t fucking 30 days off from being 18 years instead of 8 years old... my heart was singing. i’d finally gotten into my dream school and she didn’t care, and then she didn’t care either. they were both probably so fucking annoyed it hurt ind ifferent ways i didnt want to talk about it anymore. i wanted to hug everyone around me, for the first time in so long i felt like my world lit up in a billion colors and i could finally be happy iforever but it was like... no one felt the same way. i get a bigger reaction from strangers who can briefly relate to me off of some superficial shit all the time than i did. i’d lost that feeling after that. it went from winning the lottery to just another academic achievement that nobody but me and a few other poor souls that probably had to feel obligated to say something nice even gave a shit about. those types, i cant even imagine im an entire person to them. i’m just some symbol of like... society as a whole not being... fucking i dont know,? even this sounds fucking arragont and hell coming out my my mouth nowthat i type it out... lmao mr. g just gave me this fucking look after the announcement took place for the rest of the year. i wanted him to acknowledge that he was wrong about me so bad, haha, that he was wrong to hate me but of course why would being the first student in the history of our shitty fucking school to even get in shitting distance of an ivy league mean anything to him? he probably figured i got in bc i was black, and poor and using that + lies to trick the adoffiers to let me in. ms garcia too. she would hardly speak to me after that. her eyes seemed to burn whenever i met them. i... never thought that they were wrong, i couldn’t shake the enthusiasim i’d lost inside of me after the other day. i( can’t imagine they thought i was anything less than absolutely coddled and spoiled athome while my entire family stroked my ego and did my every bidding since it would probably explain why i acted the way i did in class and schooli guess. fuck i cant even remember more than half the shit i did in hs.)but wasn’t going to just so happen to speak about how great if feels to know that i was probably going to be set for life, for a great fanatastic life, when they were alwyas just barely keeping their mouths shut from calling me a a fucking retarded entitled cunt every time i opened my mouth and it pissed them off.

god no wonder they hated me. im losing my train of thought. i hate myself. i hate myself so much. i don’t even know wit when im hurting other ppl andyeti was always this self righteous bastard who claimed i only cared about others bc i did community service (that no one ever saw since i didn’t do it in school.... so it would be easy to just think that im just a lyingbitch trying to get attention and shit i dont deserve.... like w this admission offer lol)

everyone whose nice to me eventually learns it was a fucking mistake.i seethe way people look at me so clearly now, but still its neveruntil its too late i still dont fucking know what i do to piss everyone around me off all the time. everyone i figured was pretty smart around me always tended to avoid me or get angry at me for no reaosn i could explain. lmao. andr saw it too, she couldn’t stand being around me after a certainpoint. i dont have friends. ive never had friends like everyone else had friends. just fucking sympathizers (”why do you even speak to her?” just someone looking out for someone they loved when i did some dumb shit to them) i wish i had a knife so i could slit my throat right here. maybe then someone will read it and understand that i dont mean it but onestly would they?? am i getting anything less than i fucking deserve?? it doesnt matter if i don’t like it, i’m always brining fucking painful unnecessary bullshit into people’s lifes and make even the kindest people want to fucking rip my guts out for it. there’s a noose tied up to my closet right now but i please just please don’t want to suffer anymore.i dont want toknow what its like to be homeless, but idid this to myself. i’ve always fucking did this to myself. all my shit is password protected. i want to see myself as a martyr so bad but a martyr wouldn’t try and force someone to read this shit and try and make them feel bad for shit they barely had anything to do with that im just trying to drag them into bc i want to feel good about myself, and they only was i an accomplish that is by making other people feel bad?? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

a few weeks ag i told myself i wouldn’t do it in my dorm because i didn’t want to make other people comfortable. i dont want anyone to come and see my body next to the fucking pigsty i always seem to create wherever i go. i dont want them to have to see my half naked body, but i didnt have any clean clothes. clothes... i jsut spent over 100 on some fucking jeans and a denim jaket bc i wanted it even though i can’t really afford it. me bac k on my bullshit again, of course.oh my god oh mygod. fucking hell god dammit. but isnt this nothing less than i desevre anyway? for making so many poor innocent people have to endure my fucking insane ly uncomfortable awkwardness and the natural hellfire that surrounds me and i was born with and burns everyone around me except for me. is it really so objectively terrible when they burn me back?? they don’t know that i dont have any idea what im doing. they dont know what goes on in my head. i learned to destroy my own feelingsand shut down my human reactions while i was livnngin that hell hole........the second hellhole i came from,theone here on earthnot the one ispwaned in lol.

i really dont even want to hink about the anger the peoplewhove trulygotten to know me will go through if i did die like this. everyone around them will be superifcially mourning and they wouldnt be able to say anything bad, haha~ about me because of the social pressure or w.e, they’dprobably feel terrible themselves because i know even thoughthey hate me and hurt me or want to hurt me or lie to me to hurt me or laugh ifthey make me flinch they’d probablyfeel bad about how glad they feel and should feel for having thishorriblehellcritter whipe herselfoff the face of the earth. and everyone elsewill think im pathetic, of course. so many people already know howpathetici am. theyll ust roll their eyes in annoyance and grumble how i did everything to deserve the shit i went through, and that it was pathetic how i canttake half the shiti dish out.then they;ll go on with their lives nd i’ll be dead and forgotten and the world can cheer silently that im finally gone.

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