#because they all are so lost and confused about their identity
Text
started scrolling through candor and ended up rereading the whole thing. here's some things that I noticed that people didn't pick up on/didn't mention in comments (ordered from most interesting (IMO) to least):
chapter arcs & stages of grief
Roughly each of the 7 chapters in Candor embodies a different stage of grief (an extended model from the 5 stage model): shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, reconstruction, and acceptance. because grief is inherently messy, these stages are superfluous and sometimes a chapter cycles through multiple of these moods. but, generally, each chapter shines with each stage of grief. (funnily enough, this was not necessarily intentional; I broke up the chapters in terms of vibes and readability, but it turned out quite nicely.)
theme: growth, love, and the unsaid conflict b/t AFO & Yoichi
everyone picked up on the theme of self love, but really the theme is about love despite changing. its about growing up.
you see where this theme shows the failure of love when people grow in two different directions. Yoichi and AFO in chapter 3, for example:
“You lied to me,” All For One snarls. “I told you I would take care of you. I loved you, and you lied to me.”
“The person I loved died the minute you decided to kill for no reason!” Izuku snaps.
All For One reels. “What happened to the Yoichi that cared? What happened to you?”
And:
All For One watches him curiously. “I wonder how many times my adoring little brother will watch you die,” he says simply. “I wonder how long it will take before he realizes it was his fault he changed.”
Versus Yoichi and Izuku in chapter 6:
“When you choose to love somebody, you choose to love a different version of them every day.” Yoichi looks sad. His hair curtains his face more than usual. “Maybe, when you wake up from this simulation, you will not be the same. Maybe the person who went into the simulation isn’t the one who will come out of it.”
Izuku stares.
“If they love you,” Yoichi says, “they will choose to keep loving you.”
“They can’t love someone who doesn’t exist anymore,” Izuku says, defeated.
“It exists, here, in your memories,” Yoichi replies. “And it exists in their memories too.”
it is as blatant a metaphor for growing up as I could get without starting to wax poetry. it's about changing, becoming someone so different that recognizing you is difficult. yes, it is about loving yourself, but its about loving in spite of not being the person you were once comfortable being.
the line 'it exists, here, in your memories' ('it' meaning izuku) is also a little bit funny. izuku is quite literally in his memories when this line is spoken, but he is not the person he wants to be there (he is not who he was before the simulation): instead, he is unrecognizable, monstrous, and lost. it is supposed to be paradoxical. at the same time yoichi says, "it exists here, in your memories", 'it' does not exist in his memories— 'it' is dead. the contradiction lends itself to the theme of growth often being a confusing, uncertain period.
(note that Yoichi is speaking both times here. in chapter 3 he says he loved a person who died (a younger AFO who no longer exists, who didn't kill others). in chapter 6, yoichi says that when you love someone, you choose to love different versions of them as they come. here is as close as yoichi gets to confessing that he loves afo, still, even as he hates him. what makes chapter 3 fascinating is that afo says he loves Yoichi but means it shallowly and obsessively—he means he loves a version of Yoichi that is adoring, repentant, and reliant on afo. yoichi dies with his love completely unmentioned (it's not even in the narration), though it is far more real.)
inspiration from canon
there are a lot of references to the muscular fight, and the first time is when I introduce the readers to warring identities between izuku wanting to flee and wanting to fight (civilian Deku vs. hero Deku). this dialogue is actually directly from canon (the anime, at the very least). watching it inspired that whole part of the fic.
the fourth vestige & theme: perception
less for candor, more for the series in general: people wildly overestimate the 'evilness' or twistedness of izuku's fourth vestige in perception, which is my fault because I made aizawa the POV and the man is notoriously paranoid and harsh. his personal feelings do melt into the narration quite a bit which paint a brutal picture (which I did on purpose but I underestimated how seriously people took aizawa's POV), so ill talk a little bit from behind the scenes. i find the fourth vestige to be cunning, analytical, and sort of the mastermind behind canon!izuku's brains. civilian-izuku can memorize tons of facts, but obviously, he's not much of a planner. he tends to go about things in a very headstrong way, as seen by how he mindlessly throws himself into the simulation. UA izuku (the fourth) is more creative. but much like the other vestiges, he is scared and doesn't want to be left behind. he takes satisfaction when he's seen as a person, a worthy hero, a challenge. as a result, he's much like a peacock, posturing in the way izuku does at UA to seem confident and in control, though pushed to an extreme because its hosted in a single vestige. the line that gets twisted in aizawa's POV the most, I think, is this one, where UA Izuku says this to civilian (Aldera) deku:
UA Izuku holds his hand out to the other. “I don’t want to hurt people any more than you do.” And the lie is so, so smooth.
which, if you think about it for a second, is probably not an unrealistic lie for... well, anyone. civilian Deku would cry if he stepped on a ladybug. here UA izuku is charming, knowing that civilian Deku is twitchy, frightened, and difficult to pin down, and needs to be reassured of UA Izuku's goodness and kindness. UA Izuku, understanding how explosive the other two vestiges are, has to think creatively to minimize conflict and does that by seeking out the one most likely to hurt himself to keep him safe (I find UA izuku would be the least likely). now, would UA izuku be willing to hurt others? probably, if it meant keeping himself and others safe. but that's not an evil value. hence why I titled perception the way I did... not just because more things are happening that were never seen in candor, but also because Aizawa himself, our POV and our muse for the day, brings his own biases to the table.
theme: grief, again
explaining the up-and-downs of each chapter is super complicated and circumstantial, so I wont for all of them, but I wanted to talk about chapter 3 (again! I guess it has my heart). it has a heavy focus on the warmest, most compassionate characters (fifth and seventh). as hinted above, it is also the 'anger' stage of grief. much of the chapter is about this compassionate love, but its also about loss, and the anger that accompanies it. chapter three starts with izuku whole and ends with him in pieces as he loses parts of himself in parallel of fifth/seventh's memories. candor is constantly ending at an arc where it started (but with its occupants changed, different). the material in each chapter and between chapters is circular/repetitive, much like grieving is.
fun fact, i guess
the first scene in candor is not the first scene that izuku goes through. the very first line says as much: "It’s the third time Izuku’s hit the pavement face-first... And it’s his third time dying today." It's implied that Izuku's already been at it for a while in different scenes, though it's subtle. no one seemed to pick up on that in the comments until it was shown in perception. i wanted it to be very evident what the crux of the conflict in the fic was, however, so I started with the jumping-out-the-window scene.
i dont believe this is a super inclusive look at everything candor has to offer, but here's a few things i could think of right off the top of my head. again, this is what I was thinking about when I wrote it, but I am but one person, so conveying these points might not be obvious or done poorly. nevertheless, if you ever decide to go back and reread parts of it, I hope some of my decisions are enlightening and/or interesting!!
#candor fic#i got a little bit of brainrot#but also i really wanted to talk about these little bits and bobs
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
I find great comfort in simply not talking about myself (how I identity as, specifically), because I know that my words will get twisted in the most horrible way possible, annoyingly misunderstood or just plainly ignored. don't really know which is worse. but I still try to communicate, even as I realize that it's too late and I need to stop desperately over explaining myself.
because I must fit in, because I must be labeled, because I must belong!
so when I heard about the spiral entity, michael specifically, and how he rejected the humanity that was forced upon him, not even trying that hard to replicate people around him, I finally felt like someone understood me! they get it! and it's such a simple solution too, just stay quiet, don't elaborate and leave /hj
through this almost a decade of my self identity crisis, no one could help me, genuinely, even therapists were just as confused as me, and I felt so lost and so scared, like how can I even chose my favourite color or describe my gender or any other preferences??? without an hour long lecture about the symbolism of purple or gender constructs??? and when I listened to every single episode with them, I realized that "wait, hold on, you can just? not do all that? and still be loved and accepted and belong?"
and the answer was yes!
there's no point in trying to explain things to people who clearly don't understand what you're talking about due to many different factors and you don't have to do that! you really don't, that's the point! you don't owe anyone an explanation! sometimes it's easier to give up, take a step back, chill out and change the subject.
eye opening, genuinely.
#the magnus archives#magnus archives#tma#tma michael distortion#tma michael shelley#michael shelley#tma the spiral#tma the distortion
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
Is that "I want to make a new Judaism without Israel" person even Jewish at all? I looked through their blog; it's been around for over a year but if you search any Jewish-related tag they use there's not a single post before 7/10. I don't want to accuse, Jews come in all varieties (even shanden), but come on... better to be a goysiche antisemite than such an embarrassment, right? Anyway this is just to say thanks for always dealing with these people so the rest of us don't have to, it's a huge service to the community.
I don't think it's appropriate to speculate about people's Jewish identity when we don't have anything concrete saying if they are or aren't. I don't know anything about them and I'm not really interested in spending time to look, but their views are not unique. I'm aware of only one real-life Jewish community that has tried to completely remove Israel from all of their services and holidays but it's extremely small, like ten people. So I mean there are Jews out there who have made it their mission to do that, it's just small and most Jews are very against them.
#ask hinda#i know that antisemitic antizionist jews are out there but they dont really have the means to start their own congregations#given that no one will ordain them as proper rabbis#so how can you have a community without a rabbi lol#anyway its all very sad i feel bad for them#because they all are so lost and confused about their identity#and then they bring up neturi karta as examples for antizionist jews#and ive heard of rabbis putting a ban on marriage with any member of neturi karta#which is more symbolic than anything because i dont think they marry outside of their own community#but jews have made it very known that we dont like them or support them politically#but theyre brought up that way theyre taught to hate themselves and other jews its very sad#to look at their kids and know theyre going to grow up so fucking confused#and hateful#its all very sad
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok but do i want to actually sit and read through all the clockie animation stuff so i have better foundation for what i want to say? i guess
#avil plays hsr#idk if i actually want to write this ramble because i started rewatching a bunch of scenes that i needed to figure my thoughts out#but the more i gather the more im getting lost with myself so im like MMMMM#i gotta line these pieces up first#i think the trickiest thing about gallagher is wondering how much of what he says is true vs false#UH#ill just tag this as#hsr 2.1 spoilers#because thats the ramble in the tags#but like as a follower of enigmata hes prone to lying and conjuring even more riddles to confuse you#so i just have to wonder too#and if his whole facade as gallagher is fake. then how did he actually become part of the bloodhound?#sunday points out how gallagher stoles features from so many members of the family so. i just have to wonder#he couldnt have changed his identity without being noticed#so thats where i get confused. like How did you get in here in the first place using your disguise?#how did you fool people?#ANSWER MY QUESTIONS MAN (SHAKES GALLAGHER)#at the very least though: i think what he says about mikhail is true#i want to believe those are true even despite his false front#the things i want to talk about is like#well first i wanna make a whole timeline of the historical events of penacony#and that will give me a better idea of how things led to one another to present time#and THANKFULLY i rewatched because now i understand what gallagher meant possibly by traitor#but how did the family come to be?#how did the dreammaster come to be? (SHAKES THE GAME)#ok so i have to read more. so this will take longer#unfortunately maybe by the time i get all the information i want itll be too late and someone else wouldve said#SOMEONE PROBABLY DID#but i like the satisfaction of pulling the pieces together myself. thats the satisfaction of solving cases and puzzles ✨#my desk looks ridiculous now because its like. sticky notes everywhere because im like I HAVE TO MAKE NOTE OF THIS
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
As I get older and older I more tangibly realize why queer individuals in older generations than mine might prefer words I wouldn't use for myself, and likewise why younger generations preferences would be different too. Like it was always clear you know, a person knows their identity best and what labels they prefer best and even if you don't get it you should respect it. But I guess the older I get the more I realize I really don't know and never can know the background another person has for their perceptions and meaning for labels and why something in particular helps them to use or not
#rant#lgbt#...........................................................................................................................................#i just. so im alive in the time i guess when i saw trans identities barely discussed like even in educational material i didnt#hear about gender identity until i dug deep. to people now using transmasc and transfemme as labels. labels i dont understand and know#i dont. i presume they mean trans people who identify with masculinity or femininity? but i think im probably wrong#because ive seen transmen call themselves transmasc and it confuses me. because a transman can be a very feminine person who loves makeup#so. one cannot say transmasc and actually Mean all trans men. a transfemme does Not include all transwomen because transwomen can be butch#and reject femininity. so like... from my outdated perception i see it as the cis straight societal gender expectations of men MUST be masc#women MUST be femme which. i hate. becayse i specifically feel all people should and can be whatever they want.#any man can be feminine any woman can be masculine any person can be any range on that and change daily and do what they want#and their gender is still valid. and then like. theres ppl like me. im nonbinary. im a pretty feminine guy#im a fairly masculine woman. i dont think i could even fit into transmasc or transfemme labels.#i do think those labels help and suit people who like them. if i met a nonbinary lipstick lesbian perhapa#transfemme would help her xommunicate how she feels. but those words dont help me they are boxes i cant fit inside#and i get why they exist but its like. cool. now i get why transman needs to be preserved Outside of transmasc. because feminine trans men#still need space. i get why masculinjty and femininity need to mean something clearly Separate from gender itself or we loose the ability#to express the range of gender expression in qll areas. i dont know what transexual means but now i realize why a person older than me#may LIKE that label and cling to it. because it may communicqte something For Them that helps them in a#way that was lost to understanding by my generation. in a way that the terms no longer useful for my self identity but is for them.#in the way that trans man and nonbinary fit me but i could never be fit within the labels of transmasc or transfem etc#and in the way that for some people transmasc etc labels will fit Them and Help in a way a label like transman never can. and so on
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i struggle a lot with wondering if new parts are showing up or if i’m imagining them showing up out of confusion or a desire for validation, to where i trick myself into thinking someone’s there when really my brain is just good at coming up with stuff on the spot?
which sounds kind of silly typing it out, and i’m starting to realize that it’s ok not to know if a part is legitimate or not and that it’s ok if it later turns out they never even existed and i was just confused when trying to figure us out.
and maybe it’s actually normal for newly realized parts to go through a period of figuring out what they even look like? maybe not every part comes instantly with a fully-fledged identity and maybe they, too, figure it out as they go.
#i've just been doing a lot of thinking#i think it's important for people to talk more about bluriness and confusion#all the popular DID media coverage left me so LOST because i can't relate#but obviously something was going on since i get drawn back to DID time and time again#even after periods of being like ok i was just faking it or confused the whole time i am just a singlet with cptsd#post by Faun#sysblr#actuallydid#actuallyosdd#actuallydissociative#dissociative identity disorder
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been forced into reading Danny phantom fanfics because I’m desperate for Billy Batson content and for some reason half the stuff on ao3 is crossover stuff so I guess I like Danny phantom now?? Kind of?? I haven’t watched it and I don’t plan on it but I really like the idea of it.
Anywho,
Billy has maintained a very delicate balance of half truths and lies of ommision over the years to protect his identity as a literal child. He uses facts he learned from his patrons and his interest and knowledge in history, specifically Ancient Greece, to convince people he’s ancient.
Then one day this ghost guy joins the league claiming to be incredibly old as well except he just goes around straight up lying about stuff, saying whatever the hell he feels like about the past if it’s convenient to him or just funny. Most of it contradicts with the story Billy has been delicately weaving over the years and he’s kind of panicking.
One day he confronts the ghost guy and is like “I know your not actually ancient but I’m not a snitch, how old are you?”
And Danny kind of feels bad about pretending to be ancient in front of someone who has literally been around since at least Ancient Greece and confesses that he’s 14. Captain Marvel stares at him for a few minutes before breaking out in a big grin and transforming into a 12 year old Billy. They instantly become inseparable.
You’d think that Billy would ask Danny to stop lying all the time because it’s gonna get them caught, but no, he thinks it’s hilarious. Now whenever Danny says something absurd or directly contradictory of the actual history that Billy told them, they’re just like “oh yeah both of those happened at the same time but all the scribes were at the same spot so no one wrote about the other one and it was lost to time” or “there was a time loop for a good few years back in good old Greece so a lot of weird things happened that just didn’t stick.” Or “that did happen but only ghosts could perceive it.” Or sometimes, if they absolutely cannot get away with any other explanation, “dang must have dreamt it!”
The league is hopelessly confused and 90% sure they’re being messed with but they have no proof and if they look at the history at least MOST of the stuff they say is true so there’s really no reason to doubt it when Danny claims he once fist fought the god of time while the entirety of Rome cheered for him and placed bets, especially when Billy nods sagely and says he remembers having to clean up the space time continuum after the fight and that he lost the modern equivalent of ten bucks in the bet (he still doesn’t lie, just doesn’t disagree with the blatant dishonesty. He honestly did have to clean up the space time continuum multiple times after Danny messes with time a bit too much thanks to Clockwork + shenanigans. They make bets all the time too lol)
I think the contrast between ‘never lies’ and ‘lies all the time for funsies’ with the same motivation of ‘do the funniest thing possible at all times’ can be extremely entertaining and interesting.
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#dc#fanfiction#justice league#fanfic#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dc x dp
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Beg You to Love Me
"I'm surprised you even remembered, Harrington," Eddie shrugs, hoping he comes off as aloof as he wants to, instead of shaky and unsure like he feels. He was sitting atop the picnic table, arms behind him trying to look as unaffected by Steve's presence as he can, but he's been thrown for a loop ever since Steve emerged from the woods instead of Robin Buckley, like he was expecting.
"Of course, I remember. I- I've never forgotten," Steve whispers, head down and fists clenched at his sides. He looks more like a child being wrongfully scolded than a man defending himself.
The words pull a scoff from Eddie, though. Never forgotten? What the fuck ever. "Right. Something to hold over me, then, if I'd stepped too far out of line? Mutually assured destruction?"
Steve's head snaps up and he looks horrified, which Eddie will admit to almost believing. Steve doesn't seem like the type to join the drama club but his acting's pretty fucking good. "What? No! I would have never- I would never have said anything about us to anyone."
"Right. Sure. Of course. Your own reputation to think about there."
Something like hurt flashes across Steve's face before it frosts over. This is the face he's used to see on Steve. Cold and distant. "I- whatever, man. I don't even know why I thought..." but Steve doesn't finish his sentence. He just shakes his head and turns his back on Eddie, heading back the way he came.
He doesn't know why that sparks a rage from deep within him. "Yeah, that's right. Tuck tail and runaway again!"
"I ran away?" Steve shouts back, turning sharply on his heel to glare at Eddie. "You think that I ran away?"
Eddie just spreads his hands to the empty clearing as if to say 'look at all this room around me you've never occupied'. "You weren't here, were you?"
"Because you told me to not be!" Steve stomps back to Eddie but stops a couple yards away.
"Like fuck I did," Eddie argues back, because he didn't tell Steve to go away. He'd told him-
"'If this isn't good enough for you, there's the fucking door.' That's what you told me," Steve quotes, "I thought it was pretty fucking clear what you wanted."
"Yeah, I fucking thought it was clear what I wanted," Eddie snarls, lunging from the picnic table, closing those last few feet to get into Steve's face. "Yet here we are!"
"Don't act like this is my fucking fault. Like you weren't the one who forced it to be my fault. My decision-"
"Yeah, it had to be your damn decision! You were dragging it out-"
"-because you were too much of a coward to do it your-fucking-self-"
"-acting like you were. Acting too good to actually slum it with the trailer trash-"
"-so of course I made the choice that was best for me. Because I deserved more-"
"-like what I had to offer you would never be good enough for the goddman King-"
"-than just being your hookup when I wanted to be-"
"-like I wasn't good enough to be your friend, much less-"
"-your fucking boyfriend!"
"-your fucking boyfriend!"
The contrast of this sudden silence that falls following their screaming match that ends with identical sentiments is jarring. Eddie feels wrong-footed and lost. Confusion and hurt mixing in him that he can see reflected on Steve's face.
"What?" Steve is the first to break the silence, drawing into himself. Arms crossing to hold himself at the elbows as he takes several steps back, as if to be able to see all of Eddie will clear the confusion he's feeling.
Eddie just stares back, slack jawed for a moment. That's. What. No, wait. Really, what? "What what?"
"You- you said 'if this isn't good enough for you, there's the fucking door'. How was I- I thought you- you were breaking up with me!" Steve cries, "you. You said that to make me pick, because you knew I wanted more and you didn't. That's- you were breaking up with me!"
Eddie's in just as much disbelief. "No, you broke up with me! I said if this isn't good enough but, like, I meant if I wasn't good enough. And you left! You walked out because I wasn't good enough to be with you!"
Steve looks stricken and he claws harder at himself, sort of folds into himself like he's going to be sick. "No. No no no, that's- then that means I- it's all been my fault. No no no no."
Eddie stares wide-eyed and frozen as Steve talks to himself. Eddie kind of feels nauseous. There's no way that this is possible. That these last two and a half years of heartbreak have been because of miscommunication. That they both thought the other was breaking up with them and neither actually wanted to.
"Why didn't you- Why didn't you say something?" Eddie asks.
Steve laughs at that, sounding a bit hysteric. "Me!? Why didn't you! I wasn't- I wasn't going to beg you to love me like I had with my parents. You were the one who told me I shouldn't have to do that!"
Yeah. He had. When Steve had broken down and cried on his bed, in his arms, wondering what it was he had done to lose his parents' love. Eddie told him it wasn't his fault, never would be, and that he would never need to beg for love from someone who does love him. It was the same advice Wayne had given him when he'd taken Eddie in.
"I already thought you were wanting to break up. You were being so distant, I thought..."
Steve sucks in a deep breath and nods, "Yeah. Yeah I was. I was scared of scaring you away. Of being too much. Because I- what I felt for you was a lot. I was afraid I'd chase you away if I continued to be so clingy. I pulled back, to reign it in but. Fuck. Fuck!"
Eddie drops to a squat. His legs feel like jelly and he can't keep standing. He squats and looks down so his hair becomes a curtain separating him from the reality of the situation, if only for a moment. Fuck is right.
He's spent his junior and first senior year being pissed at Steve. Hurt by him and what he thought happened. And it's- if Steve's being honest, it's all been for nothing. If they both wanted a deeper relationship, they could have had it. They might still be boyfriends if Eddie hadn't been so wrapped up in his Munson Doctrine. He'd been convincing himself Steve was embarrassed of him, and was working on breaking off their- whatever they were. But he hadn't been.
He's thought such terrible things about Steve over the years. God, what has Steve thought of him over the years? No. He doesn't want to know, actually. That's not what he cares about right now.
He lifts his head to see that Steve's plopped himself onto the ground, sitting cross legged, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.
"Steve. Steve!" He calls Steve's name out until he looks up, looks at him, "why'd you come out here?"
He laughs again, slightly less hysterically, and he's shaking his head like he can't believe what he's about to say. "I. Fuck, I was coming out here to beg you to love me."
"No you fucking weren't!" his tone is filled with disbelief.
"I was," Steve repeats, sounding amused and heartbroken at the same time. "I really, really was. Graduation's coming and I know you want to get out of Hawkins the second that happens and I'm. I was running out of time trying to get you to notice me again, so I was going to beg."
Notice him again? As if Steve doesn't haunt his every waking thought. As if he doesn't dream of Steve every night while his eyes seek him across the halls and in their few shared classes like he's the goddamn night sky and Eddie is a sailor lost at sea needing the north star to guide him home. Eddie's never not noticed him, and he thinks he has to come out here and beg? "When someone loves you, you don't have to beg."
"Yeah, I know," Steve sighs, defeated, which lets Eddie know that Steve does not, in fact, know. He looks away from Eddie, down to his lap.
Fuck, it's like every fantasy Eddie's had of them making up and then making out has been handed to him on a silver platter and he's blowing it. His words are too vague, too easily misinterpreted. Again. He falls forward on to his knees, hands catching him so he's on all fours like an animal. "Steve. I mean it. You don't have to beg."
"I get it, Eddie," Steve huffs, not looking at him. Not actually understanding.
Eddie starts to crawl the distance between them. Steve looks up then, probably to see what the fuck Eddie was doing with the shuffling sounds and the chain on his belt clacking. Eddie watches Steve's eyes go wide, mouth dropping open to a small 'o'. "See, the thing is, Steve," Eddie says, pulling himself up to be just on his knees to shuffle the last few inches closer. Steve leans back to keep his eyes on Eddie's face, which opens his lap up. "You said you know, but I don't think you do." Eddie brings his hands to rest on Steve's shoulders and Steve lets him. "You don't have to beg." He uses his hold on Steve's shoulders to balance himself as he swings a leg wide, to straddle Steve, then shifts his weight to repeat the process with his other leg before settling himself into Steve's lap. Steve's hands land on his hips and Eddie isn't sure if it's intentional or a reaction to Eddie plopping himself in his laps but he's going to believe it's the first one. "You've never had to beg with me."
Steve sucks in a sharp breath and then he collapses into Eddie. Steve's hands on his hips slide up and pull him into a hug, as close to Steve's body as he can get, while Steve shoves his head under Eddie's chin, into the junction of his neck and shoulder and breaths him in like it's the last breath Steve will ever take. "We're so stupid."
"Yeah," Eddie agrees, as he lifts one hand to hold the back of Steve's head while the other drops to rub soothingly at his back. "Yeah, we are."
They sit in the dirt, the closest they've been since that summer between '81 and '82. They should probably talk about. They're going to have to, if they want this to work. Full sentences with no hidden meanings, even though the thought of that kind of vulnerability makes Eddie skittish. It's going to be difficult, but it'll be worth it. Steve has always been worth it.
Eddie wants to say 'I love you', just to get it out, in the open, and not just implied, but there's a different first step to take. One that's actually a little easier. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Me too," Steve whispers, "I'm sorry. I should have-"
"Shut up," Eddie cuts him off, voice quiet and soft as he can be. "This is, and I cannot stress it enough, a we situation."
The huff of laughter on his skin from Steve feels like the start of something. A new beginning, a start over. A re-do.
A goddamn miracle.
Later, they'll drag themselves apart and up. Make it to the back of Eddie's van in the school parking lot to talk. Going to either's house feel too much, too soon. Their big fight happened at Eddie's home, and Steve's house isn't warm enough for the kind of comfort they want to share.
They'll have a talk. Filled with long pauses, stumbling over words and fears and insecurities because this is the hard part of a relationship. Getting it all out in the open so they can learn if they'll even work. The fear that they aren't going to be compatible anymore looms but doesn't deter. They both want a second chance, to give it a real shot, by the end of that first talk. But taking it slow.
They'll discuss what went wrong the first time (diving in without talking about anything certainly played a big part) and how to avoid that.
But that's later. Right now, Eddie just holds Steve, and Steve holds him back, and it certainly feels like the beginning of something good.
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems
#steddie#my fic#this is just Miscommunication The Fic#hurt/comfort#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckleys the mvp for setting up the meeting by lying to eddie#shes going to demand a thank you gift for giving them the time to talk#and eddie WILL send her a whole fruit basket
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
To all new Ghost fans
Because I feel like a dad.
It's perfectly fine if you got into Ghost because of TikTok.
It's perfectly fine if your favorite song is Mary on a Cross.
It's perfectly fine if you can't tell Ghouls apart.
It's perfectly fine if you can't tell Papas apart.
It's perfectly fine if you're a bit lost and confused about the lore. We all are.
It's perfectly fine not to know everyone's identities.
It's perfectly fine if you don't want to know everyone's identities.
It's perfectly fine if you can't get/afford any merch.
It's perfectly fine if you can't afford to go to a ritual.
It's perfectly fine if you don't want to go to a ritual.
It's perfectly fine to interact with other Ghesties. Don't be scared of us. The majority of us are chill.
It's perfectly fine to ask for song recommendations.
It's perfectly fine to have your own theories and headcanons, as weird and unhinged as they might be. It's Ghost. They do weird shit, too.
It's perfectly fine to discover new artists through Ghost.
It's perfectly fine to be confused about things. Everyone is.
Ghost is supposed to be fun. So have fun, damn it.
- Jez
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Trick To Writing Filler
(TL;DR at the bottom)
Filler is when you spend a chapter padding the length of your story between plot-related events. Filler chapters have little to no impact on the overarching plot and can be self-contained, and thus in TV shows filler episodes are often reran the most as people unfamiliar with the show can casually watch without being confused without the knowledge of prior plot beats
So with the chapter being largely self-contained and acting outside of the plot, what do you use to make the filler chapter engaging? I’m going to use filler episodes from Avatar: The Last Airbender to provide examples
1. Worldbuilding. Zuko Alone depicts Zuko’s travels taking him through an Earth Kingdom village and becoming acquainted to the family that allows him to stay with them, especially their young son. He learns about what the Fire Nation’s impact on this village has been; destroyed houses, families torn apart, constant robbery and other abuses of power and injustices. And even after Zuko defends the villagers and his new friend, he’s venomously cast out from the village by even the little boy because he outed himself as a firebender. This episode explored the impact of the war on the people of the Earth Kingdom, the victims of war that have no involvement in it and no way of defending themselves from it
2. Character exploration. In The Beach, we learn more about Mai, Ty Lee, Azula and Zuko and how their own traumas and personal upbringings have impacted their personalities. For Zuko this is part of a turning point for him, but for the girls it’s more to understand why they are the people we’ve gotten to know over the seasons, especially Ty Lee and Mai. The episode also serves to showcase how Azula and Zuko are so out of place being just normal teenagers; Azula has no idea how to talk to her peers and no identity outside being Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, while Zuko’s hotheadedness and jealousy issues lead him to lash out and be far too confrontational and controlling for his own good. This episode isn’t really used to develop these characters, or at least not the girls, but instead explains and showcases their behaviours and the reasons behind them
3. Character development. Going back to The Beach, Zuko does indeed receive development rather than just character exploration like the girls do; he comes to understand that he’s not just angry at the world or angry in general, but angry with himself. This is a notable turning point for Zuko’s redemption arc, because he now understands fully that he truly regrets betraying Iroh and sacrificing his new start in life in favour of returning to the Fire Nation. He might not yet be fully decided on turning his back on Ozai, but without this moment I don’t know if he’d have gotten there, or at least not as quickly as he did
4. Relationship development. Sokka’s Master has a C plot of Aang, Katara and Toph all being rather bored and lost without Sokka’s presence. The A plot exploring Sokka’s feelings of inadequacy and uselessness in comparison to such powerful and formidable bending masters being contrasted with the Gaang unable to function without him already speaks volumes about their dynamics, but looking deeper into the C plot also shows how much value Sokka really does bring to the team; structure, planning, humour, a quick wit, strategic moves. The Gaang always supported Sokka and never seemed to view him as expendable outside of the occasional teasing, but having it acknowledged so clearly and plainly that they can feel a little aimless and flat without Sokka and being so delighted when he returns really shows us the kind of value Sokka brings to this team and brings us and the characters to further appreciate it
5. Downtime. The Ember Island Players depicts the characters taking a break to watch a comedic play based on their wacky adventures, only to be largely underwhelmed and displeased by how they’re portrayed. There are no stakes to this episode and barely any plot, just the Gaang taking a breather as they react to a bad play. This chance to relax and watch something inconsequential is just as important to the viewers as we’ve got the show’s finale in the next four episodes, which will be very plot-driven and intense. The Ember Island Players also has the additional viewer bonus of recapping the events of the show right before it all ends, giving the viewers time to reflect on the journey they’ve gone on with these characters. In order for the stakes to feel high and the tension to rise, there has to be downtime where there are low stakes and low tension; if things are intense all the time, the moments that are supposed to feel super intense will just feel average in comparison. Resetting that intensity right before such a big event while still acknowledging the looming threat coming soon will feel like the calm before the storm and allow your audience to soak it all up like the characters are
Wow, did I just go through all that without talking about Tales of Ba Sing Se? I’ll save that for another post if people are interested in more
TL;DR - filler provides a moment to breathe, reset the intensity levels the audience are experiencing and take a chance to step away from the external conflict (the overarching plot) in favour of worldbuilding and the characters within your setting. Small moments can amount to something big, and can help make large scale decisions or plot twists feel more build-up and in-character
#filler#worldbuilding#character development#avatar the last airbender#atla#writing#writers#writeblr#bookblr#book#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writers of tumblr#writer#how to write#on writing#creative writing#write#writers and poets#female writers#queer writers#writblr#writer things#writing tips#writerscreed#writing advice#writing life#writer stuff#writersnetwork#writer problems
432 notes
·
View notes
Text
࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃 ii. He once was mine.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ Lucifer Morningstar x Seraphim!reader (main couple)
(side couple) Adam x Seraphim!reader ┈➤
જ⁀➴ Summary : After he fell from grace, you did your best to move on. Drowning yourself in knowledge, hoping that if you continued to fill your mind with information, you’d eventually forget about him. All the effort you put into it was useless in the end and everything came crumbling down after you met his daughter.
જ⁀➴ Warnings: cussing, mentions of wounds and injuries, not proofread; there might be grammatical errors, mc is a workaholic insomniac
જ⁀➴ Note: Alright, so here’s part two. Not what you expected? Well, this series has more parts than you think and I’m determined to make each one surprisingly focus on something different from what you’d expect. The second part of ‘medical haywire’ is still in progress and heavy editing but it’s on its way. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this lol, word count: roughly around 6.7-6.8k
part one
╰┈➤ The current situation was… surprising, to say the least. As you sat still, frozen on your chair, your eyes were glued to the young blonde lady. As much as you wanted to look away, as much as the gut-wrenching feeling in the pit of your stomach urged you to shift your gaze, you went against it. It was overwhelmingly ironic. You tried almost everything to forget him, and all it took was one look at his daughter for all those efforts to be wasted. Would you have admitted it? That the reason you couldn’t look away was because she looked almost identical to her father? The hair, the eyes, the smile, the aura, it was all just as you remembered. Was it Deja Vu? Or was it because you never really wanted to forget him?
The second you felt a pang in your chest, you tried to regain composure. The walls felt like they were closing in, the world was spiraling endlessly in your mind. With a quick, sharp breath, you finally tore your gaze from the young lady and turned to face your fellow Seraphim. She was quite confused with the situation, feeling lost as she doesn’t really know what to do since this type of thing hasn’t happened before (at least to her). Once she felt your eyes on her, she tried to speak, wanting to somehow do something to help ease the tense atmosphere.
“A-Alright! So I know that you’re really busy,”
Emily stuttered, taking a step closer to Charlie and gesturing to the princess’s injured hand. Of course, out of instinct, once your gaze fell back onto her, well, on her hand at least, she let out a smile that seemed as tense as the atmosphere. Vaggie noticed this, putting a hand on her lover’s shoulder to try and calm her down, just as how she always did.
“But our dear guest has an injury and we wanted to see if you could check it out!”
The young Seraphim finished, sending you a bright smile as she clasped her hands together. Even at her words, your eyes stayed on the princess's slightly bloodied hand. Her palm was red, red with her blood. I guess that it served as a reminder that her father was no longer an angel with blood that shined gold. Instead, the blood that flowed in his veins was a shade crimson. One a demon would be too familiar with. You let out a small and quiet sigh, leaning back on your chair and bending down slightly to reach one of your table’s drawers.
Once you told them to seat Charlie on the couch on the left part of the room, the three rushed to follow your words. Your voice sounded so beautiful, melodic even. The blonde girl swore that she could fall asleep if you ever sang her a lullaby, wait, what was she even thinking? With the med-kit in your hold, you waited for them to finally settle down. You watched as Emily tried to put a pillow behind the princess to make her ‘more’ comfortable, the other frantically insisting that she’s comfortable enough. The interaction was quite the source of entertainment, you thought. Then again, you’ve been working non-stop, maybe not having access to entertainment slightly altered your standards.
Vaggie tried her best to stay quiet the whole time, hoping to not attract any attention, especially from you. She had a feeling that you recognized her, since she was one of the angels who you monitored for the extermination. She’d always do her best to maintain her health, wanting to be in the best condition to do her job properly. Of course, she’d had a few interactions with you before. But usually, just as when you were going to ask her a question regarding the previous exterminations, Adam would steal you away from her and her group of fellow exorcists.
She couldn’t really be sure, you’ve been alive since the beginning of almost everything, so there was a part of her that hoped you didn’t remember everything that you’ve known and learned. Including her. She couldn’t miss the way your eyes flickered towards her, even if it was just for a moment. She watched as you stood up, there was always this thing about you that seemed so elegant and graceful. Something that she never was. She looked up to you when she wasn’t a fallen one yet. The way you’d take pride in making sure the people around you are in tip-top shape, the way you’d make sure to do your job with perfection. She kept her gaze on your face, scanning your features. You hadn’t changed that much since the last time she saw you, though, you did look a little more drowsy and, well, tired. She couldn’t really help the concern that built within her, you did so much to make sure everyone got the care they needed (at least when she was still in heaven), but it seems that you’ve been neglecting yours up until now.
“Gently now, let me have a look at that hand.”
Her eyes eventually landed on your larger hand holding her lover’s smaller, injured one. She wanted to help but she knew better than to interrupt an expert at what they do best. Though when Charlie let out a small hiss at the disinfectant you sprayed onto the injury, she perked up and scooted closer to the princess.
As soon as your fingertips made contact with her hand, Charlie's nerves somehow stopped going haywire. Your touch is… calming, she thought. But your hands were so cold, she didn't want to put much thought into that, so she chose to believe that it's because of the air conditioning in the room. On the contrary of what others think of her, Charlie never really had someone that cared and treated her. Yeah, she was the princess of hell, but when her parents parted ways, she was all alone in her little world. She learned that she must be independent, regardless of her royal status.
So as your hands worked to delicately treat her injury, she felt warm. Vaggie has been the only one to properly take care of her, so now that another person did help her, she was grateful for the experience and feeling of being cared for. Emily was watching intently from beside the princess, seated on her left while Vaggie was on Charlie’s right. She has never seen you do your work personally, and now she finds it so interesting. She smiled as you finally wrapped a clean bandage around the princess’s hand and tidied your equipment, putting them back inside the med-kit.
She thanked you as she stood up and tried to help you throw away the used medical equipment that laid on the coffee table. As she walked towards the trash can, she turned around to momentarily glance at you when she heard you speak.
“Charlotte, was it?”
No matter how many times your voice rings through her ears, Charlie thought she could never get used to the softness and gentleness that was laced within it. All of her attention was focused on you, each word that spilled from your lips etched itself into her mind. As she cradled her hand, which was now neatly and meticulously wrapped in bandages, she answered.
“Y-Yes! Charlotte Morningstar, but you can call me Charlie!”
She seemed to gain a little bit of her confidence now, and surprisingly, you were somewhat glad. You couldn’t deny the fact that she seemed like a kind person with how her energy leaked of positivity. But that slight pang that made your chest ache after hearing her last name never went unnoticed by you, it was subtle, but it was there. Why were you so affected by it? Haven’t you moved on and changed? Didn’t your heart and mind agree to let go for your own good? Your thoughts were running miles in the back of your mind. But that bright smile that Charlie sent your way made you unconsciously pause. Unintentionally, your eyes softened ever so slightly.
“I am (Name), a Seraphim. Pleased to make your acquaintance, young Morningstar.”
The way her last name rolled off your tongue was bittersweet. The pain from the bitterness came with the tenderness that you’ve been craving desperately for eons. You’re usually zoning out, playing every positive memory you had with a certain someone just to somehow neutralize the pain, but it always ended up worsening that throbbing pain in your soul.
The only time you ever found yourself free from those wretched emotions and feelings were when Adam was in the vicinity. As much as you used to deny it, you’ve grown accustomed to his presence. No, you’ve grown attached to it, better yet, grown attached to him. It was quite draining to interact with the first man, but it was worth every bit of energy you’ve lost, because as time passed, he became your battery. Your source of energy, at some point, that is. You soon faced Vaggie, an eyebrow raised in questioning.
“And may I know who this charming young lady is?”
What an act. You never forgot her, up to this day. But of course, you don’t know her life in hell and what secrets she may be hiding from her lover, so all you could do was to act as clueless as a stranger. You could call it respect, sure, but to you, the reason for it was because you’d chosen to just not meddle with other people’s business. The princess smiled with glee as she linked her arm with her girlfriend’s.
“This is my beautiful girlfriend, Vaggie!”
Vaggie smiled at the compliment Charlie threw in the introduction. To know that despite her disappearance in heaven, you felt a string of relief when you realized that she found her home down there. That feeling of envy somehow crept up on you. She had fallen, an angel that was forsaken, and yet she seemed to have been blessed with a better life than you ever were. You did so much for heaven, much, much more than what she has done. But why were you still stuck in your madness? When will you meet a person who’ll treat and love you just as how the princess of hell loved her?
“A pleasure to meet you as well.”
You nodded in acknowledgement, Vaggie doing the same, though it seemed more like a bow in your opinion. But you didn’t dwell on that any further. Charlie smiled, very happy with your little interaction. The princess of hell reminded you so much of Emily, in many ways too. The said Seraphim soon took her place beside you as you handed the princess a few packets of new bandages, just in case her injury bleeds more than anticipated. She thanked you and pocketed the little packets before reaching for her wallet. Emily saw this and immediately spoke, waving her hands dismissively at Charlie.
“Oh, no no, Let me pay! I was responsible, after all.”
She urged Charlie to keep her money, but the princess insisted. Vaggie couldn’t help but smile a little, uncharacteristically maybe, but seeing how similar the two are, she had hopes that they’d become good friends and that Emily may be able to provide great assistance to her lover’s dream. The more support they have, the more convincing it would be for others.
“There’s no need for such.”
Your voice interrupted their little, polite bickering. You somehow regret it now as the two included you in their small quarrel. You sweatdropped as they continued insisting on paying. Emily almost shoved the money in your hands, though another voice rang through all the chaos. Vaggie’s smile fell as she realized that the cute, wholesome, and amusing little fight was interrupted.
“Doc, lab room 4 has been prepared and is ready as per your orders.”
You recognized the voice from the other side of the door, one of your newer scientists. You focused on the young girls before you, sighing quietly with content now that this little feud can be avoided. The princess and young seraphim were still trying to get you to accept the money, but you raised your hand to dismiss their attempts. Watching them deflate as they finally accepted the fact that you won’t take their money. You found it very amusing, as did Vaggie. You walked back to your table, going around it and grabbing the white lab coat that rested on your chair.
“It has been a pleasure to meet you, young Morningstar. But duty calls, as they say.”
The moment you turned around, she was sure that you really were the woman that her father secretly drew when she was still a child. The colors of your wings were almost the exact same shade, exact same size in terms of proportions with the drawing that she vividly remembered. They were so captivating, though she’d only been able to see a glimpse of them, a small portion peeking from above your shoulders, a little bit from your sides, and below your hips. She didn’t notice it before, but you seemed to fold your wings, it was a random thought but she found it quite cute.
Emily soon broke the silence that fell upon the room after a while, deeming it time for them to depart and leave you to work. Vaggie nodded along as she held Charlie’s uninjured hand and gestured to the door. The princess thanked you again along with Emily and Vaggie. But before they could exit the room, your voice called out to them, or to her, at least.
“May I have a word with you privately, Vagatha?”
On que, Charlie was confused on why her girlfriend seemed to tense up at your request. The princess herself was quite perplexed with it, but she didn’t really have a reason to stop Vaggie. It’s not like you were going to hurt her, right? She soon joined Emily after telling her girlfriend that they’d be waiting in the hospital’s lobby.
As Charlie and the young seraphim walked down the halls, a few angels greeted them here and there, the princess realized something. You knew Vaggie’s real name? Did you know her prior to this meeting? Is that why Vaggie was so nervous when you asked to talk to her? But how’d you know each other? She was a demon, and you were an angel, not only an angel, a seraphim at that. Her thoughts were running a mile per minute, very confused and yet interested in this matter. She’d have to ask her girlfriend about this after you’ve had you talk.
Once the two had left, the silence filled the room once again. Vaggie didn’t speak, waiting for you to speak and tell her why you held her back. She watched as you made your way to the front of your table, leaning back on it slightly. Your gaze was hard and piercing, just like the atmosphere in the room. Her nerves were going crazy, she was sure that you’d ask her about what happened to her, and the thought itself made her frown.
But as soon as she raised her gaze to meet yours, she was speechless. Mouth slightly agape, eyes wide and her eyebrows way above them. For the first time since they entered the room, your face was painted beautifully with a smile. It was small, anyone else wouldn’t have noticed it, but she did. And she knew. The way your eyes were softly scanning her face, the way you seemed to look…content? No words seem to come out of her, staring back at you with what she hoped was the same amount of tranquility as yours.
“I’m glad to have met you once again, Vagatha.”
Your aura was nothing short of relaxed, as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You may not admitted it to anyone, but you’ve grown to be slightly attached to all of your patients, including the exterminators. As much as you were against their job, you still did yours. And that was to make sure that they were well. After Vagatha’s disappearance, you were very concerned for her. She had been lost and left back at hell, a place where nothing but bad happened. You wanted to go down there yourself, but Sera reminded you of your duties. You realized that Vagatha may have needed you, but heaven needed you more. The guilt was killing you, and you suspected that she may not have been feeling well which is why she must’ve lost to a demon. You were partially responsible, in a way.
Vagatha was still star-struck. All her (after) life in heaven, you were there. Monitoring her health, her mental state, and her overall well-being. She knew you did it for the extermination’s sake, but she hoped, deep down, that you did it because you genuinely cared. You were like a big sibling to all the exorcists, always scolding them if they were eating too much junk food. She’d remember the times that you’d spend your rare, 10 minute breaks to watch them train. Sometimes you’d give advice, informing them of a body’s weak spots, you knew that an angel and a demon’s biology may be different, you still wanted to tell them hoping that the information helped. And they were thankful for it, just the thought that you wanted to help, it was enough. You were their family, you were her family.
When she was left to die in the Pride ring, she met Charlie, who then became her family. She may have lost you, she knew you’d be happy that she found home in hell. She didn’t regret anything. She didn’t regret letting that demon child escape and all the consequences that came with it. She promised you that she’d be the best. She didn’t just mean that in her job, she meant it as a person. And she knew you’d understand her, not like the others.
With every passing day, she hoped that you didn’t forget about her. As selfish as that wish was, she still wanted to see you again. She didn’t know how, but she wanted to meet you again. When Charlie brought up the idea of the redemption program for demons, she genuinely supported her lover. But there was a small sliver of desire in her actions, an intention to reunite with you. And to know that you still remembered her, it filled her heart with warmth just like how you used to.
No word in the dictionary could ever describe the way she was feeling. She was overwhelmed with emotions, trying so hard not to let these feelings activate the water works. But when your steps echoed through the silence, she felt your arms cage her in a secure embrace. It was like you were afraid of letting go and potentially losing her again. It took all of her energy to not let the tears fall, she didn’t want to ruin your coat, after all. But instead, she latched herself onto you, holding you with the same strength.
She was glad you didn’t ask about her wings. She was glad you didn’t ask her about her eye. She was glad you didn’t ask about what happened. Glad that you chose to just hold her as she tried to hold back her tears. Glad that you understood. Glad that you still accepted her despite what she did.
.
.
.
.
.
“What the fuck is taking her so long!?”
Adam complained, impatiently tapping on the table’s surface. Lute sighed at his antics, deeming his complaining as childish. But then again, you weren’t one to be tardy. You were very particular in terms of time, at least that’s what she knows. She stood with her hands behind her back, unconsciously anticipating your arrival. She was excited to meet you again, yeah, but she was more excited to get Adam to shut up with his complaining. She needed to cool down before she screamed at her boss.
“Come on! She NEVER makes me wait! Something must’ve happened, don’t ‘ya think we shoul-”
Before he could finish his statement, Lute cut him off. In the most respectful (passive) voice she could muster up with her little patience, she spoke.
“We do not need to look for her, Sir.”
Adam grumbled under his breath, complaining even more at her words. You usually spent your breaks with him, sometimes Lute would even be around. One of those times was now, well, you were supposed to be here by now at least. But you were nowhere to be found! Of course, he’d be fussy. Meeting up with you was the best part of his day. You were the only reason he did his work instead of giving it all to his lieutenant. He liked the way you praised him for it. He loved it. No, he needed it.
His displeasure kept increasing with each minute that passed. He wanted to meet you before the meeting with the angelic court and rainbow bitch. And yet here he is, all alone. And no, Lute does not count as company. He only ever likes and acknowledges your company. He could be doing the most important things, like talking to Sera, but as soon as you were involved, may it be a mention of your name or you were present and in the flesh, he’d immediately drop everything to ramble on about how close you two were or take his place beside you and ramble to you about his day.
Sera was, at first, against your closeness with Adam, remembering the last time you opened your heart to someone. But of course, it was your choice and she’d support you no matter what. You seemed to be happy with him after all, and she was happy for you as well. And you seem to keep Adam in his place, what a great bonus, right?
Adam was about to complain again, but a knock came from the door. He instantly perked up, his mood brightening as he expected you to enter. But his eager demeanor was crushed to pieces when a voice resounded from the other side of the door.
“I’m sorry to inform you, Sir, but Doctor (Name) wanted to let you know that she’d be working in the lab and will not be present today.”
Adam was broken hearted, devastated, betrayed, furious, and every negative feeling you could say. Lute wanted to laugh at his face, he was obviously upset. She watched as he stood up, complaining about something along the lines of you cheating on him. How amusing, you two weren’t in a relationship, at least not yet. She’d be lying if she said that she’s not expecting it to happen, it was as obvious as Adam always spoke about you in such a light that it was harder to believe that he didn’t like you.
Lute sighed as she soon followed him, keeping a distance to make sure her ears didn't bleed from his loud voice. She was curious as to why you didn’t show up since she knew how close you were with Adam, and maybe the fact that you always spent your short breaks with him.
Now don’t get her wrong, though she won’t admit it, she too is fond of you. She’s been one of the first exorcists you’ve taken care of. She saw how you’d help everyone who needed you, making sure they were in top condition. She was glad you were on board with the extermination, and maybe the fact that you always made sure to check on every one of the exorcists. The angels of the extermination were almost like her family, they’d train and eat together. And she was grateful for your help.
She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Adam had stopped walking, thus making her stop as well, right beside him. He was uncharacteristically quiet. His head was hanging low as he seemed to hold something in his hands. Curious, she peaked from his side. Her eyebrows raised as he held a box with his name on it. Is it a gift or something? But who in their right mind would give him a gift?
There seemed to be a note on it. As Adam was about to read it, he shifted his position a little bit to hide its contents from Lute, to which the woman shot him an unimpressed expression. As he did what he needed, she scanned the area to see if the person who gave him the gift was still present. Though no one except them were in the halls, even so, she noticed a small box sitting pretty beside the wall. It was gray, compared to Adam’s golden box. But she grabbed it nonetheless. There was also a note, and as she was about to open it, she heard the man beside her scream and squeal. She turned around to face him and was greeted with a box of fresh, steaming ribs in her face.
“They’re from (Name)! Can you believe it?! Wait, of course you can! She likes me THAT much, after all!”
His previous complaining was soon drowned out by his smug claims. Wow, wasn’t he just almost close to tearing up and throwing a tantrum because he thought you didn’t like him anymore? What a big baby. How do you tolerate him? Lute will never know. As she focused back on the box in her hands, was this from you as well? She took the small note, upon reading the contents, she unconsciously let a smile paint her face from beneath her mask.
“To my dearest Lute,
Just a small token for not showing up.
Consider it as an apology.
Let’s meet another time, shall we?
Have a great day.
- Sincerely,
(Name)”
Man, you were so extra, needing to give gifts just because you couldn’t make it. Couldn’t you have just messaged them? But she wasn’t complaining, not at all. She was kind of happy you thought of giving her a gift as well, not just Adam. Most people saw her as his shadow, a person who they didn’t need to acknowledge. But you saw her for herself. Important enough that you didn’t invalidate her and her feelings, because of that, she often found herself seeking your presence, or anything about you in general. You were the only one who she could show her true self to, after all. Well, she may or may not be a little jealous that Adam’s box was bigger, she’d never admit it, of course. She doesn’t have to be as important as Adam, she was satisfied with being enough to be acknowledged.
“Hey, that from (Name) too? What’d she write? Don’t tell me she confessed her fucking love for yo-”
She immediately cut him off by shoving the note that she received from you in his face, considering it as payback for him shoving stuff in her’s. Adam shut up quite quickly as he read the note with such focus, mumbling the note’s contents. The way his letter was longer and more intimate than her’s made his ego skyrocket. It wasn’t like he was expecting you to write a note similar for Lute, of course not! He took one last glance at it before leaning back before smirking. Unfortunately, he spoke (much to Lute’s dismay).
“Hah! Damn right, it’s not like anyone else’s more important than THE first man himself! It’s only right that she put a lot more effort in mine.”
He grabbed the note from his box, once again, shoving it to her face with such pride. Man, she wanted to punch him. But she read your note to him nonetheless. Reading quietly compared to how Adam read whilst mumbling. The differences in the notes you wrote for them was (painfully) obvious. Adam took pride in that, of course. Lute was partially affected, but she knew she’d never be able to compare to him in your eyes. Though she already accepted that.
“To my dearest, Adam
Forgive me for my absence,
I know you are waiting for me.
A certain project needed more
attention than anticipated.
I’ll make it up to you,
Once we meet again next time.
Be on your best behavior until then, yes?
I’ll be waiting for you.
Sincerely yours,
- (Name)”
Adam swore to himself that he’d frame this note and keep it in his bedroom. Only for him to see. He started thinking about everything he’d tell you once you’ve met again. He didn’t realize it, but he was spewing out his thoughts and it made Lute want to rip her hair out. She gets it, damnit! How many times does he have to openly talk about how much he likes you? God give her strength or else she’d bang her head against the wall she stood beside. As the gift lay pretty in her hands, she decided to just open it once she got home. She didn’t need to hear him ramble about how his gift was better than hers. For now, she needed to focus on the meeting with the princess of hell.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The meeting was a disaster, from what you were told.
You just got out of the lab when one of the angelic court members met you in your office, explaining the events that happened. You were worried for the princess and her lover when you heard every detail. But of course, you were more worried for Emily. You knew she was unaware of the extermination, to know that her sister was the one who ordered for it to happen must affect her greatly. You still had a ton of shit to finish, as always. But you wanted to make sure the princess and Vagatha went back to hell unscathed and well. Wait, you were willing to ditch your work just to make sure they were okay?
Despite your inner turmoil, you made your way out of the hospital after informing your nurses and other doctors that you’d be gone for a while. They were curious about what made you leave your important work, as much of a workaholic you are, this just seemed so uncharacteristic of you but they didn’t question you about it. You were informed of their whereabouts, and your hospital was not too far from it, fortunately.
As soon as they came into view, you came up to them with haste. Instantly calling out to them, you soon noticed the small portal from behind them. You also noticed Emily’s presence, you debated on whether to make your way up to her or the princess. Wait, you were hesitating? Why? Shouldn’t you check on Emily first? With hesitance, you took a place beside the young seraphim to check if she was okay, caressing her face and examining for any scratch of some sort. As soon as you deemed her alright, you turned to Charlie, doing the same as you did with Emily. After the princess, you repeated your actions with Vagatha.
Charlie was surprised to see you here, even more when you seemed so worried for her and her lover. It felt quite weird for a- well, stranger, to show this much care to her. She’s used to demons being fussy and mean upon meeting her, then again, you were an angel. So maybe that was the explanation she needed. She smiled as she watched you check her girlfriend for any injuries. What a warm feeling, she loves it.
“(Name)? What are you doing here?”
Emily asked first, wondering why you were here and not doing your work. Which is really important, by the way. She had a feeling Charlie and Vaggie were confused by your presence. You took a glance at her before turning back to the princess. A soft hand coming up to brush her bangs a little bit to the side, giving you a clearer view of her face.
Your touch is just as warm as the feeling you give her, she thought. Will you still be this kind to her after you heard her plan? Or would you go against it like Sera and the others? She hoped that you’d still be the same, welcoming and warm. Heck, she wanted you to agree with her plan. But it wasn’t impossible for you to deny her anymore of her dreams. What if you deemed redemption as ridiculous? Would you still look at her with the same, kind expression as you’re doing right now? Each question that ran through every corner and crevice of her mind, she started losing even more hope. You spoke to Charlie, voice barely above a whisper. But everyone heard it as clear as day, immediately perking up with wide eyes.
“You have me on your side, young Morningstar.”
The feeling of warmth from deep within Charlie started sparking into firecrackers at your words. Her eyes instantly brightened as her whole demeanor did. Her smile was sparkling, and you somehow found yourself trying to mirror it with your own. This caused even more reactions, more specifically from Emily. She hasn’t seen you smile like this in ages, thus she too smiled with happiness at the sight before her. Now, Vagatha was no different, a bright smile painted on her face as well.
As you exchanged a few more words, laughs, and smiles, you knew you all had to get going. Your duties were probably piling up so high despite only being gone for less than an hour. With a last hug, you made sure to inform them of your stand once again. That you were on their side. It was all Charlie needed as a push to not lose all hope. To know that someone from heaven, one of the highest authorities, believed her and supported her dream. It was a solid factor to achieve the success of her plans, your support, that is.
As you pulled away from each other’s embrace, Emily smiled as the princess and her lover thanked you once again. You were so amazing in her eyes. Aside from her sister, you were always the one she looked up to the most. After the revelation of the extermination, she started losing trust in Sera. Was there anything else that her sister had hid from her? Not only did she lie to her, Sera was even the one who ordered the extermination that killed many souls! Yes, they were demons, but she too believed that they deserved a second chance.
You and your fellow seraphim watched as the princess and her lover waved goodbye, soon entering the portal that would send them back home. You turned around as your phone started vibrating, excusing yourself from Emily and answering it. Unbeknownst to you, another person from the other side of the portal had recognized you despite only seeing the back of your head and your wings.
.
.
.
.
.
Lucifer stood near the portal, waiting for his daughter and Vaggie. He relaxed as soon as he saw that they were alright and smiling. It made him think that heaven actually agreed to her plan for a second. He watched as Vaggie came out from the portal first, extending her hand to it. Soon enough, Charlie came out of it as well, her hand in Vaggie’s.
Though he immediately rushed to his daughter once he saw the bandages wrapped around her hand. Asking her a bunch of questions such as “What the fuck happened?” and “Who did this to you?” Though his daughter would just brush her hand off and dismiss the topic, telling him it was merely an accident. But Lucifer wasn’t buying it, so he turned to the portal, making his way towards it before it closed.
He was stuck in his place, eyes wide, mouth agape as he drank in the sight before him. Time must’ve stopped because he couldn’t move nor speak at all. His gaze remained solely on the figure that had him frozen. Everything came rushing down at him, all the memories, all the experiences, all the pain. How funny, wasn’t he the one who turned away from you? So why was he so suffocated by just a glance at your back? He didn’t even know if it was really you. What if this person just had a similar hair color and the exact same wings? Yeah, what if?
You’ve grown taller, he noted.
He'd remember the times he would ask you to grab a book for him, which just happens to be on the highest of shelves. How convenient. He wasn't really interested in whatever topic the book discussed, no, he just wanted your attention. He'd be beaming with joy as soon as you stood up from where you sat, taking your place beside him and extending a hand to grab the book he was asking for. He'd thank you with a kiss, taking pride in the light sign of embarrassment on your face. You'd let out a small huff of air in amusement as he pretended to read the book's contents right after.
Your hair has somehow grown longer than what he remembered.
He'd remember the times that he would visit your libraries, searching every corner and crevice just to find you peacefully sleeping on one of the tables with your head on top of the book that rested on the wooden surface. He'd debate on whether he'd wake you up or not. But as soon as he heard your soft snoring, he'd smile and take a seat beside you. You were breathtaking, he thought. The way your skin reflected the sunlight, the way your hair would shine just as bright. Unconsciously, his hand would take a few strands of your hair, gently caressing them with his fingers. Soft, that was the only thought he had in mind.
Your wings were as beautiful and captivating as ever, were they still as soft as he recalled?
He'd remember the times he'd practically beg you to let him touch your wings. You would often tell him to touch his own, but of course, he wanted to know how yours felt. Even after no matter how much you have allowed his fingertips to glide over you feathers, he's never gotten over how fluffy they felt under his touch. Sometimes, you'd be reading the most boring book (according to him) and he'd be seated beside you, leaning all of his body weight on your wings. You'd even let him fall asleep on them as he was lulled to slumber by your presence.
But will he ever experience those again with you?
You seemed to be talking to someone on the phone, and god, he hoped that you wouldn’t turn around and see him in this state. The tears were already threatening to fall, his throat was suddenly so dry that it hurt. His hands were shaking as his nerves were. What would you do if you ever see him again? Would you run up to him and hug him? Would you smile and open your arms for him to run into?
Or would you just stare at him with displeasure as you recalled all of the pain he caused you?
He’s been living with guilt ever since the day he fell from grace. He knew he left you, he knew he chose his dream instead of staying with you. He knew he fucked it all up. He’s wanted to apologize to you, trust him, he did. But he just… couldn’t bear to face you knowing the influence his actions had on you. Each passing time of his consciousness, he always wondered if you would have forgiven him.
Have you forgiven him?
It was a question that almost seemed like a chant, a chant for forgiveness. Your forgiveness. But he knew that the weight of his decision hurt you more than he could ever imagine. Did you think you weren’t enough for him to stay? Did you blame yourself for not being able to convince him? Have you ever regretted disagreeing with his plans and dreams?
Did you regret ever meeting him?
Did you ever regret liking him?
Did you ever regret loving him?
Would you have been happier if he had never been a part of your life?
As the portal shrunk in size, so did his view of your back. Many, many feelings were spiraling within the king of hell as he watched you walk away with a young seraphim. Those overwhelming feelings seemed to have intensified tenfold once he saw a view of the side of your face as you turned your head to face your companion. Oh, god.
You were as beautiful as the day he lost you.
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel emily#hazbin hotel lute#hazbin hotel
751 notes
·
View notes
Text
ㅤㅤㅤ⭑ their reaction to you wearing their clothes (gojo , namani , choso )
ʚ content: suggestive, fem!reader , underwear stealing (but reverse) , domestic wife? whiny choso, drabble , no actual smut, spanking? , gojo calls reader (greedy, whore, brat ) proof read to an extent ֺ ♡
ʚ note: I kinda love this one, was tempted to write a whole one-shot with gojo ⊹ ݁ ° ⋆
ㅤㅤㅤ⭑ namani - button up !
Nanami came home from a long day at work to you, cooking something aromatic in the kitchen, gowned in one of his button up shirts. His eyebrows pulled taunt as he took in the sight. You’d never wore any of his shirts before, probably because he was so precise with his clothing. “These are strictly for work” Nanami mani recalled informing you one lazy afternoon, as he hung up the identical shirts on the hangers in the walk-in closet you shared. But, what he failed to remember was that today was your big spring cleaning day, not corner was to be left unattended. So naturally, you worked your way into the closet and gotten into his excess of button-ups and did some ‘reorganizing.’
Your husband silently cursed himself for restricting your access to his wardrobe before. His brown narrow eyes lazily drifted over your figure. The shirt was oversized on you, barely hanging on to your shoulders. The buttons on the collar were unfastened, revealing your cleavage and the swell of your breasts. The slits on the hem exposing your upper-thighs covered in stretch marks. He was practically drooling. You were a pretty wrapped birthday present, practically begging to be delicately undone.
“Oh hi Ken’! How was work?” You chirp, looking up from the cutting board with a big smile, unaware of the way your husband ogled you and your body. He had only a little bit of his restraint left as he grunting out a half-hearted “fine” before he comes up behind you, your back up against his chest and heavy fingertips at your hips. He softly kisses your jaw and works down to your neck, taking advantage of his position to peer the collar of his shirt that was just soo loose on you. “Darling, what did I say about wearing my shirts?” He questioned crossly. He wasn’t really mad, he just like the way you let out those nervous giggles whenever you were caught doing something you were supposed to. “Oh, this?” you play clueless as he peppers open-mouthed kisses across your neck. “It’s just one of your old ones. It’s practically a rag.” you tell him, letting out a surprised gasp and his mouth moves to the your pulse, teasing it with his mouth. He let out a ‘tsk’ “No wife of mine will be wearing a rag.” He runs a hand underneath the warm linen, caressing your skin directly.
“Let me take them off you then.”
ㅤㅤㅤ⭑ choso - graphic tee !
You and your boyfriend choso share a closet and also a fashion sense, so naturally your happen to have mix-ups with your clothes. You’ve mixed some of his socks with yours, grabbing the other’s similar colored hoodie by accident. He’s even had one of your lacy panties on the back of his shirt, which you took off and showed him, getting a confused look and a furious blush in return. Any sort of clothing mishap, you guys have had it and today was no different. So when you accidentally put on one of his graphic tees early this morning, he didn’t think much of it.
He opened his mouth to tell you, but closed it as he watched you move in it. It was big on you, but he loved it. The way it slid off the shoulder, revealing the fact that you were not wearing a bra. How it only came down to about halfway down your thighs, so when you bent it over it would rise up and he could see the pink fabric of your panties. He couldn’t help himself, so he followed you around the apartment all day like a lost puppy, trying to sneak a look at all your parts. Of course, you eventually noticed and you thought it was the cutest. So you decided to put on a show for him. You purposely tried to grab at items high on the shelf, just so you could torture him when the shirt rose above your hips and shoved your midriff and ass. He’d try so hard not to be too obvious, but when you would suddenly turn around and catch him staring, he’d start blushing and grab whatever you were reaching for you, avoiding eye contact.
Eventually, he got desperate. When you were preoccupied, he came up from behind you, lifting up the back of the shirt without difficulty. You were taken aback and tried to turn around and face him, but he was pressed against you firmly. “Cho’! You’d better be careful with your shirt.” You warned him with faux innocence, but not before rubbing your backside against him. You loved him like this, all whiny and raspy voiced. He groaned at the stimulation of you pressing on him and swallowed hard. “Don’t care baby. Need you so badly.” He whined, grinding his crotch against the fat of your ass.
“You’ve been teasing me all day. J’s need to get my damn shirt off you.”
ㅤㅤㅤ⭑ satoru - boxers !
It was late in the morning as your boyfriend satoru was doing his morning routine. Teeth brushed? Check. Face washed? Check. He had laid out his clothes, ready to put them on when he realized his black boxers were missing. “Babe?” He called out from the bathroom. “Have you seen my boxers…they were literally right here.” You respnded with an eyebrow furrowed. “No, I haven’t? Maybe you thought you did. Just grab another pair.” You advise, moving on to the next thing. Your boyfriend isn’t stupid though , no matter what you might say. He swore he places his underwear along with the rest of his clothes but it was childish to keep discussing over it, so he simply got a new pair.
This mystery didn’t go away though, in fact it started occurring more and more often. His boxers were going missing. His drawer filled with the, started to get more and more empty, seemingly every wash day. What was worst was that every time he tried to inform of you this phenomenon, you’d brush it off. “You’re such a child ‘toru.” you’d tease him. “There probably scattered around the house somewhere, you never put your clothes away.” scoffing and shutting down the possibility of there being some kind of…boxer thief. He’d rolled his eyes and try to press on but you weren’t hearing it. So he would have to find the culprit himself. He checked the dryer, making sure nothing had disappeared inside. Nothing. Then he’d check the dirty clothes hamper and his side of the closet, just to double check. Nothing. Logically thinking, there was only two of you in the apartment. So logically, the only person who could be taking his boxer…could be you. When he’d bought it up, you shoved the thought back down. “No, gojo. I haven’t been taking your underwear. I don’t want to hear anymore about this. If you need some so bad, I’ll go to the store with you we can buy some more.” You’d told him, not looking up from your phone. He knows it was wrong but, he didn’t believe you 100%. So, if you didn’t want to admit it, he’ll just have to prove it for himself.
“Oh my gosh, toru what are you doing?!” You yelped, as your boyfriend literally pantsed you. He couldn’t care less about your squeals and squirming, as there right in front of him was his missing boxers. He brought a heavy hand down on your ass, watching it jiggle. “See babe, guess I was right.” He’d gloat, bounding your two wrists together with his hand, bending you over the kitchen counter. You felt your face warm in some sort of twisted mix of shame and arousal. “I’m sorry, they’re just so much more comfortable than my panties.” You confessed, letting out another yelp as he brought another slap to your ass. “Sneaky ass bitch. Thinking you can take my boxers and then lie about it. If you wanted to borrow some, ya’ should’ve just asked.” He scolded you, his own boner poking out of one of the only pairs of underwear he has left. He rubbed his cock against your clothed cunt, bringing out whines from you.”
“Since you like my damn boxers so much, I’ll fuck you with them still on.”
@awniie’s please don’t steal ! ㅤㅤㅤ⭑
#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#choso smut#choso x female reader#jjk choso#jjk gojo#jjk nanami#namani kento#nanami smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#jujustsu kaisen smut#kento smut#saturo smut#saturo gojo x reader#kento nanami smut#jjk fanfic#jjk headcanons#choso kamo#choso x reader#gojo saturo#nanami kento#kento x reader#gojou satoru x reader#smut#jjk satoru#jjk fluff
737 notes
·
View notes
Note
up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get
Lee says:
When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.
Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.
If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.
You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.
You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.
When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.
These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.
So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.
Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.
If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.
Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.
Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.
You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.
If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.
If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!
If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.
When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.
I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.
I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.
Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.
I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.
Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.
Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!
Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!
878 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gold digger
Summary: A lost item at the airport and a miscommunication can be the end of your relationship.
Warning: cursing.
Part two
A/N: This is pure exaggeration. Please don't believe this is based on any real action. ❤️
Stress
Was a short-term for Kylian current status.
He lost his toiletry bag at the plane, even tho you fly private, he managed to lose his personal things.
"Kylian, can you please calm down. Everything is going to be okay. We have already changed the house locks, and we froze you credit cards, and they're looking for it." You say massaging his shoulders.
"I can't help but worry, that's my whole identity. I have nothing now."
He was worried because his father suffered from identity theft.
"You have something."
"What?"
"You have me," you hug him from behind. "I know it's not too much, but I'll make sure all your things return to you Kylian. Even if I have to search the plane myself."
He smiles at your reflection on the mirror.
"You're more than enough."
After a small talk, you both were getting ready for his birthday dinner, planning it, and having everything ready from where you were vacationing was hard, but you managed to do it.
When the family started to arrived, you greet everyone and made sure they were all conformable.
"Honey, can I use your bathroom, the two down here are busy."
Wilfrid asked you.
"Yes, use any of the upstairs bathrooms. You don't have to ask, please do."
Wilfrid went upstairs to his sons bathroom, he sees Ethan getting out of your room. "Gotcha," he jokes.
"Jeez, the bathroom is still busy downstairs?"
"Yes, it is. Why do you think I'm here?"
"I'll be with everyone, be careful with the hand washing, y/n got her makeup very close to there and we don't want to ruin anything."
"I'll be careful, go have fun."
Wilfrid did what Ethan told him. He was careful with your makeup.
"Oh, merde," he couldn't find a towel to dry his hands and didn't want to shake them scared to ruin something.
After looking around a little, he noticed the navy blue hand towel on top of a travel bag. Probably Kylians.
"Oh, Ethan, always so messy."
He picked the towel and dried his hands. He was about to leave when he noticed what was inside of the travel bag.
Kylian lost toiletry bag.
He grabbed it, checking it inside. Everything was there, his wallet, his keys, his documents. He was relieved that everything was there.
He was about to turn around and go find everyone to share the news, but he notice other thing.
The travel bag wasn't his son's.
It has some of your personal belongings.
"What?" He's confused about why you have it.
To be honest, he wasn't your biggest fan. He always got that feeling about you that didn't quite convince him about you.
Kylian, of course, always told him off.
But this time, he had proof.
He exists the room as fast as possible, looking for Kylian.
"Arrête, Kylian." He called when he saw him doing shots with Tchaga. "Come with me."
He was confused but did what his father told him. Wilfrid dragged him to his room.
"What is going on with you?"
"Shut up, did you find your things?"
Kylian rolled his eyes. He got asked the same question several times.
"Non."
"What if I told you that it has been on your home all this time?"
"Quoi?" He asked confused
Wilfrid walked back inside the bathroom to grab the big bag, throwing it onto the bed.
"Look inside." His father ordered him.
He does as he's told.
Opening the bag that was originally his, but after a few vacations with you, you made it your own.
When he opens the bag, the first thing he sees is his lost bag.
"You find it." He says excited. "Merde, thank you so much." He was happy. All his things are secured with him.
He's about to hug his father but notices his cold expression.
"I found it, but I found it here."
Kylians frowns.
"That's impossible."
"Is it?"
"Dad, c'mon, what are you implying?"
Wilfrid thinks his words before saying them. "She had the bag Kylian."
But he knew she didn't. He was sure his girlfriend, the one who saw him cry in distress because of the lost of the bag.
"Non."
"Kylian, why would I lied?"
"Non, there has to be another explanation."
"Oh really, then tell me what it is?"
"Don't move."
He's furious. He walks fast looking for you.
"Y/n," he called your name, noticing you and his mother were talking. "Can I borrow you for a second."
"Sure, bébé. I'll be right back."
When you started walking upstairs, he grabbed your arm and hurried your steps.
"Ouch, Ky." You tried to let go, but he wouldn't.
Once he enters the shared room, you see his father.
"Ky, let go, please. You're hurting me."
His father is looking at you with an angry expression.
"What's wrong?" You ask, arm still on his hand. "Kylian, let me go. Please."
He let go of you. He was angry, you know by looking at his face.
"I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me." He says elevating the tone. "Where is my bag?"
"What?" You were confused. "Why would I know?"
"Don't." Wilfrid says. "You sure you don't know?"
"Why would I know?" You repeat. "Kylian, what the fuck?"
He walked to the bed, where the bag you used for your things during this vacation was laying. He opens it and pulls his bag.
"Want to explain yourself?" You look at Wilfrid and then back at Kylian.
You stayed quiet, the tension was thick.
"You believe I did this?"
Kylian is not looking at you anymore. He's looking at the window.
"Kylian," you call higher this time. "You believe I did this?"
He shakes his head. "No, I know there has to be an explanation for this."
"I don't understand." You wanted to cry. "Why would I do this?"
"I'll tell you why?" Wilfrid says. "Take this as you want, but you're a broken college student. You're full of debts. Don't think we don't know that." He says harshly. "So you did it as a way of pretending someone else did it. You know all his card codes it was easy money and bye debts."
You can feel your heart breaking. You didn't know his father had that image of you. Wonder if his whole family thinks the same.
"Kylian." You say out of breath. "You think that too?"
"No, of course no." He's trying to get to you, but you're backing away. "Dad, I don't think. No. Maybe you forgot you put it there."
You shake your head. "I didn't take it. Believe me."
"Then why was it there?" The harsh tone didn't cease.
"I don't know." You start to cry. "I didn't take it, Kylian, please."
"I think," he says before kylian could talk. "You need to pack your stuff and leave. I don't trust you around my son, and I'm not going to allow you to be here seeing what you did. I'm not going to allow a gold digger to be with my son."
You feel humiliated. The man you love is hearing how his father insults you and won't bat an eye.
"Kylian." You tried one more time.
"Kylian, go outside, go back to the party."
The way he obeys his father is incredible for you. He didn't even look at you. His head is hung down.
Once he left you two alone, Wilfrid walked up to you. "Pack your stuff, and don't try anything, I'll call you a cab." You nodded, scared.
He left the room, going downstairs, he sees Kylian chugging a whole glass of liquor. He can't imagine how he's feeling.
"Hey, dad." Ethan called his father attention. "Come here."
Ethan takes his father a little far from where his brother and friends are.
"Guess what I did." He's smiling like crazy.
"I don't know, tell me."
"Well, I spent the whole day at the airport, I found Kylian bag, I know he's down because of that, y/n told me how he's all sad. So I went there and they found it with the covers of the seats at the laundry station."
Wilfrid feels his blood turn cold.
"I left it in one of his bags and covered it with the towel, I'm telling y/n so she can surprise him. Have you seen her?"
The smile on Ethan face is making him feel worse, his eyes turning to Kylian, sitting at the couch trying not to break down. All because of him.
"Merde," he turns around, looking for you.
When he opens the door, he finds uncontrollably crying, packing all your stuff.
"Y/n," he says, getting closer.
"Don't worry, I'll be quick, I'm only taking my own stuff, that I bought with my own money."
He saw how you pack, not knowing how to fix the mess he created.
"Y/n." Ethan calls. "Y/n? What are you doing?" He's now worried. "Dad?"
"Ethan, please go downstairs." You say not wanting him to see you like that. "Please, it's okay, I'm fine. Just go."
"But."
"Go, I'm fine, E."
Wilfrid feels like throwing up, even when he had treated you like crap and accused you of something so terrible, you treated Ethan with such love.
Etha runs downstairs, looking for his brother.
"Kylian, come, please. I don't know what's going on, she's crying, she's packing."
All his friends turned to him, getting worried about the angst scene the little Mbappé is on."
"Kylian, move your fucking ass."
"Don't bother Ethan, just forget about it. Go eat something and ignore everything."
Everyone is looking at Kylian with amused expressions.
"Kylian, is this about the fucking bag? Because if it is, I already told dad that I found it, it's on your dior travel bag. Now can you please come."
His eyes snapped back at his brother. "You did what?"
"I found the fucking pouch, now come upstairs quickly."
Kylian pushes his friends in order to run upstairs. Finding his father outside of the door.
"What the fuck did you do? You told me she had it." He screams. His whole family and friends are now aware of the situation. "What the fuck?"
He enters the room, finding you closing your big suitcase. "Amour, please hear me out."
"Why?" You say angrily. "So you can let your father call me a gold digger again? For you to let me get humiliated by him?"
"What?"
You both turned to Ethan and Fayza, they're standing outside of the closet.
"Dad called you what?" Ethan asks.
"Ethan, please don't get involved into this."
"No! What the fuck is wrong with you, dad?"
"Ethan," you call him. "Please, don't do this."
Fayza and Wilfrid are arguing. She's trying to understand the situation.
"You," E, says, pressing his finger hard into his brothers chest. "Let's him call her a Gold Digger?"
"He said she took the fucking bag" he justified.
"Oh and you fucking believe that?" He laughs "Kylian, your girlfriend have had your whole bank account information for years, she had been taking care of important and expensive jewelry. And you believed that shit?"
You wanted to cry again, Ethan was right. You have been helping your boyfriend with his finances for a long time now, all because you were studying a financial career.
"Y/n, darling, grab your stuff, we're leaving." Fayza says angrily. "And you, she turns to Kylian. "You disappoint me so much, how could you?"
"Fayza, it's okay, I already called a friend." You don't want his family to have a fight because of you.
"Nonsense, you're coming with me. Ethan, help her with her things." Ethan runs to you. "You don't deserve this, I'm sorry."
You let Ethan take your suitcase downstairs.
"Y/n, please amour."
"No!" You push him away. "I've never done anything for you to doubt about me. I was the one who offered you to pay for the things at the hotel, I've been the one who takes care of your wallet and watches during games or parties." You pause, taking air, you wanted to let out everything. "I rejected your help when you offered to pay for my loans, I said no. You want to know why?" You turn to Wilfrid.
At this point, both Kylian and you are crying.
"Because I'm not here for the money, I earn my own, and yes, I'm a broken college student, but I know how to work hard for what I want."
He only look at his shoes.
"Please don't go, I need you."
"No, Kylian." You laugh. "You don't need me. Why would you need someone like me? To feel more important?"
"No, amour."
"Don't call me like that." You scream at him. "I don't want to see you again, I'm done."
"Please," he begged. "What am I going to do without you?"
"I don't know, Kylian." You shake your head. "But if you ever need a gold digger, call me up. Apparently, your father thinks I'm one."
#football angst#football drabble#football fanfic#football smut#football x you#football#kylian mbappe#kylian mbappe angst#kylian mbappe fluff#kylian mbappe fic#kylian mbappe oneshot#mbappe icons#mbappe imagine#kylian mbappe imagine#kylian mbappe smut#kylian mbappe x reader#kylian imagines#kylian smut#kylian x reader#mbappe
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
You know what? Fuck it
DC x DP prompt #3
I think at least lmao.
Anyway! Jason starts making videos on YouTube for one reason or another (is really stressed, no one listens to his rants Abt books who cares). His content is mostly bad books he read or really really really long rants Abt pride and prejudice. Like 3 hours on one tiny detail he noticed on his 214th read through.
He's kinda popular, mostly bc his terrible books videos. He talks Abt the ones that made him the most mad, which coincidentally are mostly romance and supernatural. Like he's one of the well known figures in the supernatural romance critique group (whcih is pretty small, but well). (Also he doesn't show his face on camera, bc secret identity and stuff, it's just his voice over a video of something mundane, like the sky or a room in which is a fly or something)
And now this can go two ways, that i can think of (w dead on main in mind at least)
1) one day Jason finds a book which is supernatural romance and is actually good. It has a kidna cliche system for the supernatural stuff, but with a refreshing twist. The characters have depts and flaws, yet are still very likable. The plot is actually interesting and overall the story's theme is death, not belonging anywhere and overall stuff that is very close to Jason's heart. The story doesn't shy away from violence and it is suprisingly accurate.
(I'm.gonna reblog this w pretty long idea of what this book could be Abt, bc i don't wanna annoy ppl lol)
Anyway Jason kinda falls in love w it, and it becomes famous for being the first novel Jason rated positively or something.
Meanwhile Danny, who was told by jazz writing is good way to get his feeling out, and just wanted to make a quick buck, is really fucking confused how tf did his book become so popular and who tf is this nerd who rates books for a living.
(basically big fan Jason and suspicious/awkward Danny lmao)
2) there is a famous series on Jason profile. It's the worst fucking series he ever read and it's just fucking awful. All the characters are fucking terrible, always going on and on about one thing, the romance sucks in a way that isnt even funny. Jason would love to believe some wrote this as a joke, if it wasn't for the absolute cringefest this was, and it wasn't a whole ass series!! Like who writes 12 books for a joke?
Danny ducking Fenton that's who. Dude was so ducking annoyed at his rogues, he threatened them w writing a terrible romance novels abt them. The ghosts, knowing his terrible grade in literature backed off for a moment, before someone crossed the line. And write Danny did. It was the worst thing he had ever written, the love interest was perfect caricature yet still faithfully go the original. And Danny, because fuck them he lost sommuch sleep over that one prank, decided to publish it. (The book was pretty thin so it didn't take that much time writing it). Unfortunately it became immensely popular in the infinite realm. So the ghosts started crossing lines on purpose. Before Danny figured it out, he had already published his fifth book and was writing another three. After some bargaining, getting a book written Abt them as a piece of shit love interest became a reward.
And while yeah, he had to say his writing was terrible and the books sucked, some small part of him was kinda proud y'know? Like a mother of her twelve ugly as fuck toddlers.
So when he saw some nerd on the internet not only shit talk his book, but also get money of it?
Danny decided to haunt him (just like his books did him, now that everyone knew Abt them thanks to this guy)
(enemies (sorta it's not that serious tho) to lovers ala terrible writer Danny who hates his books and kinda famous YouTuber hasn't who also hates Danny's books)
--
Fuck this is way too long wtf. Anyway imma reblog this w 1) book idea. Might add whatever i think the twelve books could be Abt. Pls if u want to add anything to this pls do!!
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#crossover#dcxdp#dp x dc writing prompt#jason todd#danny fenton#writing prompt#dead on main#youtuber jason#jason the youtuber lmao#writer danny#they r so dumb wtf#also i imagine batfam doesnt know and they find out by either jason crying abt how good this book is and how he needs to meet the author#and how he needs to make a video abt it or 2) the same thing but hes pissed off bc he juzt spend his time to read that abomination and#just wants to kill danny lmao#im not sorry#ghost zone#also i imagine the first one to get a book abt them is kitty w johny 13 as a guest and its just romeo ajd juliet parody#in jasons words the bike has the most personality lmao
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
3k celeb toimeee ~_~ darting eyes with pregnant reader and best friends lily and alex please? love u mother
guessing game – ...?
Your two closest friends scramble to guess who got you knocked up.
auds here... hi love u didnt specify who u want the baby daddy to be... so i spun it into something of the sort bahaha
Alex finds the plastic positive test first, on the floor of his bathroom. On instinct, he literally screams for Lily, who rushes over to him and tells him it’s not hers, and for a minute Alex thinks oh Christ, is it mine? It’s only after Lily slaps his shoulder that they begin thinking of who might own it, thinking it’d really only belong to the only other person they love enough to let pee in their flat.
In a flurry of panic, they ransack the place trying to find you (it’s a three bedroom, so not too much ransacking is done, really) and eventually find peace when they peek into the rooftop deck and find you watching the overcast, dreary city with a blank expression on your face. You turn when you hear their footsteps on the cement, features softening instantly.
“You freaked us out,” Lily says, but she’s hugging you tight. “Alex saw it.”
“I thought it was mine for a second,” he says, earning himself another light shove. You laugh, but it doesn’t really hold with your anxiety, your anticipation, your nerves. You know, you can feel their burning questions creeping up on you, but they hold back for your sake.
“Are you okay?” Alex adds, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You sigh, shrugging.
“Sure. I’m keeping it, I guess. I’m just nervous. I haven’t even told the d—” Your voice hitches into silence, and you purse your lips. “Yeah.”
You can tell they’re absolutely dying to ask you who it is, but you don’t want to speak it aloud.
It’s just because when you do, it’ll feel so much more real. So real, so damning, once there’s a name to the mysterious figure, once they know who he is. But they’re your best friends, and just based on their eyebrows furrowing and eyes darting millimeter to millimeter, you can pick up on their inner monologues, their musings, and the theories they will no doubt share to one another over dinner or beer when you’re gone.
—
“Paul.” Lily says, tossing the stuffed bear to her boyfriend. He takes it and holds it, humming contemplatively. “Alex, it’s him. That’s the last guy she slept with, like, four weeks ago. And they did it twice I think.”
“Yeaaaaah, but. Yeesh. Paul?” He grimaces, face souring as if he’d just eaten a lemon wedge. “He was ugly.”
She laughs. “Then it means our best friend is going to have an ugly baby. Throw me the bear.”
“Oh—aha! Ahhh-ha! It can’t be Paul, she was in California last month, remember?! She had that whole work thing. And he was in Europe. Can’t make a baby over Skype, now can you.” He pumps his eyebrows and throws the bear, satisfied with his rebuttal as he watches his girlfriend stutter for her own.
“Maybe she had a one night stand with someone in California?” Lily hums. “Did you know anyone who was there last month?”
She pouts to herself, deep in thought. She’s worried for you, above all, but she can’t knock the curiosity out of herself. It seems weird that neither she or her boyfriend are even remotely able to pinpoint the guy’s identity at once, mostly because they both know you so well. Lily especially, because you’re not in the business of spilling hookup secrets to Alex (he gets wind of it via Lily instead), and she had herself convinced she’d heard almost all of it.
“No, I didn’t see anything. Lots of drivers were on off-time last month, so it was all personal trips. But if she got knocked up a bit before L.A., she did go to that gala where a few drivers were hanging out, too.” He makes grabby hands for the bear, but Lily holds it out of reach, still confused and lost in thought.
She was so sure it was Paul—he was the only guy you told her about over the last few months. Sure, there were flings, but they were terribly short-lived, and that was only because you’re not one to date for a while. “The timeline doesn’t add up, but. Okay, who was there?”
“Um. Charles, and Carlos.”
“So it might be them.”
“Yeah, but slim chance.”
Grumbling, she tosses the bear back. “You win,” she sighs. “We’ll see. I’m totally blanking.”
“So am I,” Alex responds, evidently bummed.
—
Yuki hosts birthday dinner with the people on the grid he can “tolerate,” he said, which of course started with Pierre and Nyck, seated on either side of the celebrant. Plus ones are allowed, so Alex brought Lily, too, and Yuki loves you too much to discount you from the guest list, so the three of you are sitting next to each other. Charles, and Lando occupy the last two seats.
“Remember that gala you went to last month?” Lily asks in faux-nonchalance.
“Oh, yeah. Carlos and I had way too much vodka that time, like jeeez.” You make a face of disgust.
Alex squeezes Lily’s hand so hard she has to contain a squeal. They’ve got you pinned.
—
An hour into the dinner, your eyes begin to dart back and forth, breaths leaving you in quiet little huffs, which is your easiest tell—you’re nervous. Anticipatory. Bumbling. Sometime after the collective effort of teaching Pierre how to use chopsticks and watching the wooden utensil fly away and into the restaurant’s open aquarium, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.
Immediately, your departure sends Alex and Lily into sleuth mode again.
She extracts a pen from her purse and clicks it a few times, reviewing the facts. One, you haven’t told the dad yet, you said, which means there’s no awkward air between the two of you. Two, it’s someone on the paddock, or someone friends with someone on the paddock (the only clue you told them, and a really useless one considering how big social circles run in racing).
Its Carlos? she writes on a napkin, passing it to Alex.
DUNNO…. Maybe is the response. How bout Yuki? “What’s your birthday wish, Yukino?” Lando asks as she writes; Lily makes an attempt to look engaged but half-fails, eyes trained on her written words.
Are u crazy she scribbles. Lando?
“To travel outside of work,” Yuki says. “Be by myself, or with a friend. Taste food everywhere.” She wouldnt sleep with him if he paid her, Alex writes furiously quickly after paying the driver a long, scrutinizing glance.
“I heard of a cool place somewhere in Vietnam,” Lily chimes in to seem involved, but she doesn’t look up from her writing. Ok… so it’s not a driver?
She passes it to Alex and looks up. “They sell the best pho.”
“If you like Asian food, mate, Nobu is good, too,” Charles offers, smiling.
Alex passes the tissue, now worn thin with the writing, back. Idk. I bet it is tho. Doobius. She reads over it a few times in a cross between amusement and what she can only describe as being totally weirded out.
ITS DUBIOUS, she corrects, and for good measure she underlines the U several times. They’re losing the plot, distracted.
“I only hear the best about that place,” Nyck quips. “What Nobu did you go to?”
SORRY IM NOT AN EXPERT MISS HE
“California, in L.A.”
I dont think theres a single word spelled like that Alex
Pierre makes a curious noise. “Los Angeles? I didn’t know you went there, mate. When?”
Ok miss expert comes the funny reply.
“Last month,” Charles says.
Youre such a di
She pauses as she writes, waiting for herself to piece together why his sentence means so much. Nobu. California. L.A.
Last month.
The words register, click in her mind. In unison, Alex and Lily’s wide eyes immediately snap up to Charles’ relaxed figure, and he notices, laughing a bit nervously. No way, they’re thinking. The answer’s dropped right into their laps.
Now visibly stuffy, Charles smiles politely. “What is going on?”
“You—!” Alex raises a finger, ready to make his epiphany verbal in his fit of excitement, but at the last moment spots you walking back in, dabbing your lip gloss in place. He deflates. “Y—you, you—are a fan of sushi?!”
Charles blinks. “Um… sure.”
Lily makes a show of happiness. “That’s great!” she chirps, laughing phonily. “So great!”
Alex nods along. “So great, so great!”
You slide into your seat, smiling. “Hi. What’s so great?”
“Oh,” Lily says, laughing smugly and meeting your eyes. “Oh, you have no idea.”
#f1#leclsrc3000#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc imagines#carlos sainz smut#carlos sainz imagine#f1 x reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
