#bc again i keep emphasizing it but i DO think he would love and adore and poor everything of himself into damian | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ushittyoldman · 3 years

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nobody’s fault but mine (pt. 2)

Levi wouldn’t really be Levi if he knew how to handle his intense feelings for you.

pairing. levi x fem!reader AND a little bit of jean x fem!reader (b/c once again i am a slut 4 jean too)

warnings. some fluff, language (b prepared for a lot of the f-bomb)

a/n. hi sorry 4 the long wait, life is a little hectic rn (it’s snowing n our power has been going out on n off for the past few days lmfao also school b lowkey kicking my ass) BUT i wanted 2 say thank u so so much 4 all ur feedback to part 1 it was so so so unexpected n sweet n flattering i literally still can’t wrap my head around it. i would rly appreciate some feedback 2 this one too since this is A LOT more levi n i actually adored writing him but i would luv 2 know what u guys think of my characterization of him (im a little nervy) but yes feedback is encouraged! this is kinda long but a lot happens so i rly hope u guys appreciate this n enjoy it bc it took me so long 2 write n rewrite it heheheh (side note 4 the sake of age n everything, all the 104th cadets r actually 18+ including our cute lil reader) also! pls continue 2 request more levi ok that’s it 4 now enjoy!

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

“Jean!”

The hushed voices stirred you out of the pleasant state of unconsciousness you had been in. A sharp pain shot through your head as you slowly opened your eyes, blinking quickly to adjust to the bright light. You flexed your fingers subtly as an attempt to gain awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Once you were comfortable, you slowly turned your head to your right and saw a scene you had grown painfully familiar with– Jean arguing with someone. The victim of the week was Armin, and you almost wanted to laugh at the quick back-and-forth between the two.

“Your bedside manner… sucks,” you managed to mumble. You cringed at the uncharacteristic hoarseness of your voice.

“There she is!” Jean exclaimed, shooting a victorious smirk at Armin, before fondly looking down at you, as he moved closer to your side.

You heard multiple gasps of your name, and you quickly turned your head to your left, before regretting it due to the sharp pang that followed in your head. Nevertheless, you mustered up as bright a smile as you could, looking at your friends who had all taken various positions throughout the room. Eren was the first to your bed, embracing you tightly.

“That was scary,” he softly mumbled your name, before pulling back, “Don’t do that again.”

The concern on his face startled you momentarily, and you couldn’t help but avert your eyes. You blinked quickly before looking up and shyly smiling at Eren.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

You then looked up at your fellow cadets, who stood surrounding your small bed in the infirmary. Your love for these people sat heavily in your chest, and you beamed up at them, before you realized you were in the infirmary.

“What happened?” you genuinely asked, your husky voice taking you by surprise again.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened!” Jean scowled, crossing his arms in anger, “That little bastard—”

“Jean, you can’t say that about the Captain!” Sasha chided, looking sideways in fear as if to emphasize her point.

“Captain, my ass!”

You attempted to stifle your giggling, yet your mood significantly dropped upon remembering Levi’s treatment towards you this past month. You tried to conceal your obviously bothered expression, but you felt a hand softly ruffle your hair. You looked up and smiled at Reiner.

“Don’t sweat it, kiddo, I’m sure he’ll tone down the punishments after this,” he reassured, obviously mistaking your dejection over your unreciprocated feelings for Levi for something else.

Appreciating the gesture, you continued to smile up at him while nodding softly. Reiner had a comforting presence, and you felt your mood brighten slightly.

“Fingers crossed,” you deadpanned, earning a soft laugh from Bertholdt, who had taken a seat at the foot of your bed.

Jean’s relentless bashing of the Captain continued, as Sasha, Connie, and Armin attempted to calm him down, warning him about the consequences they’d all have to face if word got back to Levi. Eren gritted his teeth in irritation, as he glared up at Jean, threatening to “knock him out if he didn’t shut up,” while Mikasa had silently moved around the chaos to rest her calloused hand on your own, silently squeezing as a gesture of comfort. You squeezed back.

“Look, all I’m saying is he obviously has it out for her. She’s a better soldier than all of us– even you, titan boy— and it’s still not good enough? I call bullshit!”

“I think he’s just trying to be a good teacher, I’m sure there’s a lot I can still improve on,” you justified, and all eyes turned to you.

“There’s not,” Mikasa bluntly stated, leaving no room for argument.

Your friends all agreed, and you scrunched your nose playfully to conceal the warmth that had spread throughout your body at their praise. You worked hard to get where you were– there was a satisfaction in knowing that all of your effort wasn’t going unacknowledged.

“Jean-boy’s right—”

“Bastard!”

“—Captain Levi has been unnecessarily cruel to her, and we’ve all noticed it!” Eren’s fists clenched in anger as he ignored Jean’s yelling.

“But the Captain isn’t the type to hold grudges or act impulsively, so I think there’s something deeper to it,” Armin reasoned, apologetically glancing at you in case his words offended you.

You nodded softly, not wanting to worsen your headache; however, it didn’t really matter when Jean’s painfully loud voice retaliated almost immediately.

“He overworked her to the point of her passing out from exhaustion and severe dehydration!” His eyebrows furrowed in anger, and his sandy brown hair bounced with his every move.

You winced from the pain in your head, and the movement didn’t go unnoticed by Reiner, who glanced at you from where he stood.

“Jean— inside voice, yeah?” Reiner softly spoke, subtly tilting his head down towards you. Jean’s gaze softened and concern replaced the anger on his contorted features, as he apologized to you.

“Yeah, seriously, what are you getting so worked up for?” Connie innocently asked, before a knowing look crossed his features. He turned to his partner-in-crime, and the two donned shit-eating grins as they turned back to Jean.

“Right, that’s why.”

Bertholdt, whose lanky body had been horizontally lying across the bed comfortably, sat up onto his elbows and cluelessly asked, “What’s why?”

Sasha’s smile widened, and she crossed her arms, mimicking Connie’s knowing smirk. “It’s because Jean-boy, here, is sweet on our dear little—”

“Would you shut up!” Jean yelled louder than before, fists shaking in anger. His face was flushed an impossible shade of red, and you would’ve joined in on the laughter, had your head not exploded from the pain.

You were fully aware of the incessant teasing Jean received regarding his relationship with you, and you would honestly be lying if you said you didn’t get a kick out of it as well. Deciding to spare your friend today, you sent a good-natured smile to him, hoping that would be enough to quell his frustration.

Had you not turned to converse with Eren, you wouldn’t have missed Jean’s dazed smile.

While talking to Eren, your mind briefly drifted to Levi and the situation that was weighing heavily on you. You didn’t want to believe that the Captain hated you– you desperately grasped onto your excuse that he was simply a harsh teacher. And yet, you knew there was something more to it.

In a panic-driven moment, you momentarily wondered if he had somehow found out about your feelings for him. You remembered him telling you about his upbringing— you knew better than most that Levi and confessions of love did not go together... at all. Before you could further dig yourself deeper into the pitiful hole you had been in the past month, a painfully familiar voice broke through your intrusive thoughts.

“You know how loud you are? This isn’t a damn daycare.”

“Sir!”

All conversation in the room came to an abrupt halt. You couldn’t help but grow amused at the sight of Eren and Bertholdt scrambling off your bed to stand and salute their superior. Your small smile was wiped off your face when your eyes met stormy grey ones. You quickly looked down, before inhaling quickly and swiftly pulling your bedsheets back. You attempted to muster as much strength as you could, ignoring the multiple eyes on you. You gracefully stood up from the bed, and turned to Levi, managing the salute as well. You slowly looked up at him.

“Sir,” you shakily mumbled, internally cringing once again at the uncharacteristic rasp to your voice.

You received proud looks of admiration from your friends, though Jean’s remained more concerned than proud. Idiot! he thought to himself. We know you’re strong, now’s not the time to prove it!

Levi, meanwhile, had tried his very best to suppress the guilt that had been eating away at him for the past day; however, it had only worsened when he saw you and heard your weak voice. Upon making eye contact with you, he almost wanted to fall to his knees and apologize profusely for everything he had put you through, audience be damned.

Levi had spent the better half of the day pacing around your room in the infirmary wing of the Scout Regiment’s base, lost deeply in his thoughts, as his concern for you weighed heavily in his heart. After a few more hours of pacing, he had finally come to the conclusion that he was an idiot (a grade A, unique brand of idiot all in a league of his very own), and that he was in love with you.

Where the first realization annoyed him to high heaven, the second one brought him a sense of peace that was only heightened every time he had looked at your unconscious form.

Levi, uncomfortable with the amount of self-actualizing he had done that day, had left the room after softly caressing your cheek, hoping to convey all of his guilt and apologies and love into the simple gesture. Once he was away from the infirmary wing of the base, he inhaled deeply, itching for the comfort of a cup of warm tea. On his way to the mess hall, he had passed by your friends from the 104th, all undoubtedly on their way to see you. Levi’s eyebrow had slightly risen upon noticing the varying looks of defiance and anger on each of their faces. He had remained unfazed, his half-lidded eyes looking away, as if he hadn’t even seen them at all.

Somehow, it was harder to face them now with you standing amongst them.

His face retained its usual impassive and bored expression, yet it momentarily faltered when he noticed you slightly stumble from where you were standing next to the hospital bed. Levi’s heartbeat quickened, and he made a subtle move to rush over to you to catch you for the second time that day, but Jean was quicker. The taller man had been keeping a watchful eye on you, and had quickly dropped his salute to stand behind you and steady your slightly uncoordinated form. You comfortably relaxed backwards into his arms as you sent a grateful smile up at him, and he softly smiled back in response, leading you back to the bed.

Levi was both relieved and a little fucking pissed off.

“Visiting hours are over— I need to talk to the brat,” he lazily said, authority ringing loudly and clearly in his command.

For the first time in all his years of captaining the scouts, there was a quick hesitation after his command.

Levi raised an unamused eyebrow at each of the cadets, silently challenging them to disobey him. Despite his threatening aura, he wouldn’t blame any of your friends if they were to defy Levi. The Captain deserved it for his treatment of you— he’d take it like a man.

Your eyes widened in surprise when your friends subtly glanced at you, silently asking if it was okay to leave you alone with him. Upon hearing Levi’s request to talk to you, your heart had begun to uncontrollably race and you swore you could feel it in your throat. You were disappointed in yourself for growing excited at finally being able to talk to him.

Blinking quickly, your cheeks grew hot under everyone’s gazes, so you reassuringly smiled at your eight friends, and you once again felt the genuine love you had for them erupt within your heart.

Ever the peacemaker of the group, Armin signaled for the rest to follow him out of the room, and they each uncertainly walked behind him. Mikasa squeezed your hand once more before following closely behind Eren, who sent you an encouraging smile. Bertholdt subtly sent a thumbs up to you, while Reiner winked at you as he looked over his broad shoulder. Your smile widened; however, it faltered when your eyes met Jean’s. His irritated expression worried you, yet before you could respond, he turned away and walked past Levi.

Levi had to give it to Jean— not many people had the balls to openly glare at the Captain.

Once everyone was gone, the tension within the room increased tenfold. You looked at Levi, and you bit your lip in contemplation, anticipating what he would say. Many thoughts rang through your head.

Was it another punishment? Was he going to yell at me? Did he find out about my fee–

“How do you feel?”

You almost had to pinch yourself. After one month of barely any interactions with your friend— if you were still even allowed to call him that— you realized how starved you were for pleasant conversation with Levi.

“I’ve been better,” you breathed out, still cautious. “How… how do you feel?”

Even after such an unpleasant experience, your unwavering kindness shone just as brightly. Levi’s heart ached so sweetly, and he internally groaned upon realizing how fucking whipped he was.

He silently stepped forward, pulling a seat to the side of your bed. Once he was seated, Levi looked into your eyes, and you felt your breath hitch at the intensity of the swirl of emotions dancing within his normally cold eyes. He exhaled softly.

You noticed how tired he looked.

“Just peachy.”

There was a pregnant pause, and you came to realize that there was just too much you wanted to say to him, and you didn’t know where to start. Your soft eyes held his sharp gaze.

“You scared the shit out of me, brat.”

Your heart involuntarily skipped a beat, and your eyes widened in response.

“I did?” you internally slapped yourself at your stupid response.

“Yeah. You did.”

“Sorry, sir,” you softly mumbled.

“Levi… just Levi.”

The Levi in front of you was a completely different man from the one who you’ve had the pleasure of interacting with over the past month. You thought back to your friends and their anger at your mistreatment, and you thought of the many unfair punishments, cold shoulder treatments, and overworking during training (despite you being second only to Humanity’s Strongest, himself). Slowly, your incredulity at being treated like a lapdog began to dim and was replaced by your growing indignation. Though you were no stranger to standing up for yourself, you still felt your anxiety skyrocket as you looked back up at your superior.

“Do you hate me, Captain? Did I… did I do something?”

And there it was.

Levi knew the question would come up at some point, and yet he still felt ill-prepared in his response. He knew this was a big step for you— in the whole year that he’s gotten to know you, he learned how much you hated confrontation. You blatantly ignoring his request and choosing to address him by his title caught his attention, and he frowned. When he looked into your slightly watery eyes, a warmth spread throughout his chest, and he had to clear his throat.

“Don’t say shit like that, you haven’t done anything.”

Levi wanted to punch himself— he was never good with words.

You, however, weren’t fazed by the manner in which he spoke. You had fallen for the man, harsh words and all.

“Then why have you—” you paused as you momentarily lost your voice.

Levi thought it was cute (to be fair, he found everything about you endearing), yet he knew it would be inappropriate to openly admire you when you were so clearly upset with him.

“Sorry,” you grew embarrassed and licked your lips, “It’s just… well, why have you been ignoring me? And— and yelling at me? We stopped drinking tea together, and practicing in the forests. You don’t even acknowledge me when I talk to you! I’m sure you have a really good reason, sir, but I just—”

Levi detested the sick feeling of guilt that churned within his heart. In hindsight, he really should’ve thought it through before he began his little plan of distancing himself from you. How else was he supposed to tell you oh, everyone in the fucking Scout Regiment wants you, and so do I, but I haven’t done anything about it because I’m a pussy, so I just decided to take it out on you and wallow in my own self-pity like the sad little man I am, without sounding like he was deranged.

“—I just miss you.”

Levi’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch, and his breath hitched. This time it was the sincerity in your eyes that made him look away quickly.

“I…”

I’ve missed you too, dammit.

At his lack of a response, your eyebrows furrowed, and your irritation grew. Your small hands balled the soft bedsheet, and you swallowed to soften the burn in your throat before speaking.

“Why did you even come here?” you scoffed indignantly, attempting to mask your hurt, “Was it to just to yell at me some more? Oh, I know! Maybe I need to run through training ten more times again, right?”

The guilt churned even more in his chest, and Levi seriously wanted to punch himself. He willed himself to say something— anything— but he felt speechless in front of you.

“Levi,” you hoarsely spoke with desperation, and he looked into your watery eyes. “Say something, please.”

It was as if you had read his mind, and a slight feeling of reassurance quelled the storm in his heart; you really were the only one for him. As he met your eyes— your beautiful, enchanting eyes— he felt his self-hatred skyrocket at the amount of hurt in them. He had grown used to seeing them filled with humor, kindness, and a soft edge that was rare to find nowadays. Yet seeing them filled with such pain and hurt was unsettling, and Levi went mute for the fifth time that day.

You nodded in understanding when he failed to say anything, and your heart clenched. Jean had been right— you were nothing more than a lovesick puppy. You blinked quickly as a poor attempt to conceal your tears, yet nothing ever escaped the Captain’s attention.

His gaze softened, and Levi found out something else about himself— he really didn’t like seeing you cry.

“Shit, please don’t cry,” he tenderly mumbled, as he leaned closer to you and gently cupped your face to wipe away your tears with the pads of his thumb.

Your breath hitched and your full lips involuntarily parted. You relished in the warmth of his touch, and you wanted nothing more than to lean into his comforting hand. Your name fell from his lips, and you felt yourself come back to reality. Remembering just how you had gotten into this situation, you decided to stand your ground. Despite everything in your body begging to give in and accept this moment with the Captain, you stood unwavering in your decision.

You gently grabbed his large hand with both your hands, and moved it away from your face and into your lap. You held it there loosely and delicately rubbed your fingers over his hand soothingly before eventually stopping, and looking back up at him.

His usual bored expression was long gone, and in its place was a very tender and vulnerable expression. A storm was brewing in his grey eyes, and you distantly remembered stargazing once with him. You had desperately wished you could read his thoughts— somehow, you had found his daunting eyes more fascinating than the starry sky. You felt an ache in your heart at the intimate memories, and you really really wished Levi loved you the way you love him.

“You know what, Levi? It doesn’t even matter if you hate me, because—” you inhaled sharply.

This has to be done, you reassured yourself, or else you’d be subjecting yourself to an onslaught of hurt and heartbreak.

“—Because I hate you.”

Your lip quivered and your broken voice faltered. And of course, Levi noticed.

His eyes darted down to your lips at the slight movement. His hands had stilled, and he decided that getting eaten by a damn titan would be much less painful than this.

And then he’s looking at you. You looked back at him, yet he’s looking at you— through you— in that way that makes you want to hide and hold your ground at the same time.

“Right,” Levi drawled, and you knew he didn’t believe you (hell, you were unconvinced yourself). His eyes reverted back to their cold nature, and he ran a hand through his hair, allowing the silky strands to softly land against his forehead.

He stood up, and wordlessly gave you a onceover. Under his scrutiny, you felt yourself grow insecure, but deep down you desperately hoped he’d stay. You bit your bottom lip in apprehension, and Levi’s eyes softened at the sight of your nervous habit.

How is it that he could kill titans all the livelong day yet when it came to this sweet girl, so small and disarming, he couldn’t even utter a single word?

Levi had never felt more pathetic. He peered down at you, momentarily debating whether it would be right for him to attempt one last thing before finally deciding fuck it, and gently cupping your cheek for the third time that day, bending down, and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. He gingerly inhaled your enticing scent, appreciating how even after the hell he had put you through, you still smelled so alluring.

You were positive that Levi could hear your heartbeat. You blinked many times in disbelief, as he pulled away and sent one last lingering gaze down at you.

Levi slightly smirked at the pretty blush that had colored your cheeks, his half-lidded eyes drinking in the mesmerizing sight of you sitting up in your bed and gaping up at him, your cheeks flushed and wet with the remnants of your tears. He turned around and silently left the room.

He had ignored every part of his body that begged him to stay.

▲▼▲

“Shut up, I can barely hear them!”

“Ow— Bertholdt, you’re stepping on my foot!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Watch it, horse face!”

“Eren.”

“You piece of shit, I’m—”

The piece of bread that had been tightly held in Sasha’s grip suddenly fell to the floor. Everyone went silent.

“Holy shit, I think… I think he just kissed her.”

Jean really hoped Sasha was wrong.

He decided to ignore the fact that her freakishly good hearing bordered on supernatural, so there was really no way she could’ve been wrong with a mere wooden door standing between her and the conversation.

“I knew there was something going on between them! Reiner— pay up.”

Reiner muttered several curses under his breath as he pulled out a hefty stack of cash from his pocket. Connie’s grin widened.

Armin had glanced up at Jean, slightly alarmed at the dark expression on his face. Before he could comfort his friend, the door suddenly opened. Everyone scrambled to straighten themselves up, attempting to act like they hadn’t been just eavesdropping on the entire conversation between you and the Captain.

A chorus of sir’s rang throughout the large hallway, and Levi grew amused at the sight before him. His lips twitched upwards, and the cadets had to almost physically stop their mouths from dropping open at the sight. Levi’s ghost of a smile disappeared when his eyes met Jean’s seething ones.

The two held each other’s gazes, Levi’s expression being cool, while Jean’s had been irritated. Levi was not a fucking idiot; he knew the kid was in love with you.

Join the fucking club.

Levi, realizing that this was the exact reason he had gotten himself into that mess with you and not really wanting to sour his somewhat good mood, looked away from Jean to nod at the group of your friends.

“As you were.”

He brushed past Jean, his gaze as intimidating as ever, as he silently walked down the hallway. Jean’s fists clenched tightly. Once Levi had turned the corner, the group exploded into chatter, their reactions varying from stunned to adoring.

Jean really really fucking hoped Sasha was wrong.

▲▼▲

Your horse trotted proudly through the vast landscape, the wind blew through your open hair, your friends teased each other amicably, and your excitement grew at finally being cleared to join the scouts on their next expedition. Though you hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, and you’ve been a little too preoccupied to eat much, nothing could bring your mood down at this moment.

You were alongside your friends as you all followed the section commanders as their horses galloped into the edge of the forest. The mission for today was to exterminate any titans who had wandered too close to the walls. A simple mission, and you were more than capable.

You had been in a great mood.

Until your eyes landed on Levi.

He had been further up, leading his own squad. He had turned around to respond to Gunther, and that’s when his eyes had met yours. Your internal conflict grew, and you ultimately ended up averting your eyes and ignoring him, deciding to maintain your cold treatment towards him.

Him kissing your head had only further confused you, despite the sweet butterflies you felt every time you thought back to it. Levi’s treatment towards you had unexpectedly changed since that day in the infirmary, and it had reverted to the way it was before his sudden aversion to you, though there was something much sweeter in his actions. You swore you were getting whiplash.

Though he had been significantly kinder to you, you had held your ground, unrelenting in your declaration. Part of you was terrified that if you gave in and became comfortable, he’d suddenly return back to the yelling, the punishments, and the overworking. Part of you also didn’t want to face reality— your feelings were unreciprocated, and they would only serve to bring you a world of heartache and sadness.

Your cold shoulder towards him was nothing compared to the way he had treated you. Yours mainly consisted of avoiding him, and when that wasn’t an option and you had to interact with him, you kept it civil and short. Your heart would ache, but you knew it was for the best. It helped that Jean would offer approving smiles and words of encouragement, even going as far as to smirk when you had ignored the Captain.

Levi, meanwhile, had frowned when he noticed that you ignored him. Again.

In all honesty, he did deserve it, but that didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt like a bitch. He grew irked at your display. Levi hoped you would understand that him kissing your head and showing affection towards you was his grand confession of love. You knew he was shit with words, and he hoped that that would be enough.

He was sadly fucking mistaken.

His attention had been on you the whole mission. Even when the scouts had to dismount from the horses to use the ODM gear through the trees, he had somehow managed to keep a watchful eye on you. You were graceful as ever as you flew through the trees, though his observing gaze noticed that your reaction time was noticeably slower than normal. He had also noticed the dark circles under your usually bright eyes, and he grew worried upon noticing your overall state.

Levi, himself, wasn’t faring much better. He was getting virtually no sleep, running completely on caffeine, adrenaline, and pure will, yet he still made sure he was in excellent shape when it came to these missions— humanity was resting on his shoulders, after all.

The firing of a flare gun in the distance indicated that the group would be encountering titans— a lot of titans— from the left. The soldiers prepared, all eyes focused on the left. You had conveniently taken up the right-most end of the formation, and your attention had also been on the left, your blades held tightly in your hands.

It was only by chance that Levi decided to glance down at you as he soared above you in the middle of the formation. Your eyes met once again, and Levi’s heart lurched at the beautiful sight, when movement behind you immediately caught his attention. A large abnormal with the ability to jump from tree to tree had suddenly appeared and made an attempt to grab you. Your attention had been solely on Levi, so you hadn’t noticed, especially over the roar of the wind in your ears.

Levi’s eyes widened, and he yelled out your name. The rich baritone of his deep voice reached your ears, and you turned slightly behind you, yet you reacted too slowly. Your body jerked backwards, flying so far from the group. You flew through the air at such a great speed that it took you by surprise when you slammed against a tree as the wires of your ODM gear grew tangled. The abnormal had missed you— barely. Your head slammed against the tree and you felt the wind knocked out of your body at the impact.

You whimpered at the hell of a hospital stay you’d have to face after this.

The abnormal almost seemed to be grinning wider upon realizing that it had successfully subdued you. You attempted to quickly stand up, though your body yelled in agony at the movement. Willing yourself to fight back, you shakily stood up, tightly gripping your blades that had miraculously not fallen to the ground throughout the struggle. You winced at the searing pain that shot through your head, yet you clenched your teeth in determination. Realizing that your gear was broken and therefore useless, you quickly discarded yourself of it, and felt some of the tension in your body alleviate now that you were significantly lighter.

“The hell is she doing?” Jean yelled incredulously from his spot next to Levi, and the other members of the group looked on in shock as they all attempted to make it to you in time.

“She’s fighting back,” Levi spoke through gritted teeth, his worry for you eating him alive. His eyebrows were furrowed in stress and anxiety, and he was now soaring impossibly fast through the trees in order to reach you.

Stupid brat. Stupid, resilient, little brat.

“Attagirl!” Oluo and Eld cheered, and Petra shoved them, warning them to stop their blatant ogling in the middle of a dangerous mission. They skillfully dodged her attack, grinning at their adept use of the ODM gear.

A noise towards the side caught their attention, and the group realized the titans they had been anticipating were now in sight. Levi coolly assessed the shitty situation, before commanding that most of the soldiers take care of the titans, while Levi, his squad, and some of the 104th’s cadets would assist you. The group split up, and Levi turned his attention back to you, his heart thumping against his chest.

As the titan made a move to grab you, you exhaled quickly to focus before skillfully jumping onto its elongated arm and running quickly towards its nape. You were defying gravity as you gained speed the higher you went. The titan wasn’t stupid, and it began to grab you with its other arm, yet you anticipated its move. You lithely dodged it, executing a quick front flip as you narrowly escaped its grasp once again.

This was it!

You saw your opening. You leaped forward and pushed your feet against its shoulder as hard as you could, soaring high up in the air above the titan. Muscle memory served you well, and you thought back to the training circuit that had mimicked a situation almost exactly like this one. You gracefully began to spin yourself faster and faster, your cape billowing behind you as you finally readied your blades for the final blow. You yelled out, as your head pain worsened. As a result, your maneuver faltered slightly, almost imperceptible to the human eye. The titan noticed.

It lashed a large hand out again, attempting to grab you, but it accidentally slapped your body away. You cried out in pain, and you flew in the direction of your friends, hurtling towards the ground. You were falling so fast, and you felt yourself grow dizzy from being chucked around so much in the last five minutes.

Eren yelled out your name, a whimper stuck in his throat at the sight of your almost lifeless body spiraling downwards. Jean’s eyes widened, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it in time.

Levi’s heart stopped upon witnessing the titan slap your body with so much force. You were plummeting towards the ground at an impossible speed, and he didn’t even think twice before withdrawing his ODM gear’s hooks and diving towards you within the blink of an eye. His cape flew behind him, and a determined glint had overtaken his angry features.

You had been bordering between consciousness and unconsciousness, yet the sight above you had been so clear that it almost felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. Your long hair flew around you, creating a curtain around your face, as you looked up at Levi. He had dived towards you, his jaw so tightly clenched. His muscular long arm began reaching out to you. The ground was quickly approaching, and you felt a sense of serenity at the sight of your Captain, despite your confusion and the severity of this situation.

“Levi,” you mumbled, smiling softly.

His face dropped upon seeing the calm expression on your face, and he willed himself to go faster, a number of expletive curses ringing through his head.

That damn titan. Did it know how small you were? How precious you were?

He spun himself slightly to gain momentum, and he saw you were just within reach. Levi confidently stretched his strong arm out even more, managing to wrap his hand around your arm. He swiftly pulled you into his chest, one arm wrapping around your waist, while the other hand cradled your head protectively against his broad chest. He swiftly flipped himself around to face his body upwards, further ensuring he’d take the majority of the blow in case you two ended up hitting the ground, and shot both of his ODM gear’s hooks into a nearby tree, propelling both of you away from the ground and towards the high branch. You fleetingly realized how familiar this position felt.

Once Levi safely landed, he kneeled, and supported your body against his thigh as he continued to hold you in his arms. He quickly looked over his shoulder, and could make out the sight of the titan falling to the ground. All the members of his squad seemed alive and well, so he turned his attention back to you. His eyes quickly darted over your face, desperately searching for any obvious injuries.

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of Levi running his hands through your hair and over your cheeks. The Levi in front of you was leagues different from the cool and composed one you had come to know. He had a frantic look in his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly, as he desperately peered down at you.

“Le… Levi?” You mumbled, your voice still a little hoarse from your recent infirmary stay.

“You are so precious to me, you hear me?” He lowly spoke, panic and anger and a whole plethora of emotions coloring his normally deadpan voice.

Your jaw fell open and you were almost positive you were suffering from a mean concussion, and this was a hallucination. “Wha—”

“You’re a fucking brat— an incredibly frustrating, resilient little brat— but you’re mine.”

You dazedly looked up at him, and you realized how close his face was to yours. His muscular chest was heaving up and down, and a small droplet of sweat dripped down from his hairline. Levi’s handsome features held nothing but adoration for you, and in that moment nothing could bring you down from the high you were experiencing. You felt his warm hands cup your cheek once more, a habit he seemed to be fond of.

“You want a fucking declaration of love? Here it is— if anything happens to you, I swear I’ll kill every titan on this piece of shit planet,” he spoke, surprisingly unbothered with how vulnerable he was being with you. He moved closer to you, his forehead nearly resting on your own. “I don’t give a fuck if you hate me or not. You’re mine, and I’m yours. And that’s all there is to it.”

Your hand creeped up to grasp the wrist of the hand that had been caressing your face, and you tightened your fingers around it. He froze, momentarily wondering if you were rejecting his confession, and he internally groaned at the thought.

There’d be no coming back from this one.

“You’re mine?” You shakily asked, a gloriously beautiful smile slowly gracing your features.

“That’s what I said,” he mumbled, attempting to conceal how lovestruck he felt at your smile.

“After… after we get home and I get some medical attention, you’re going to have to kiss me, alright? I’m—”

You were cut off by his lips pressing against your own. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you relished in the soft feeling of his lips molding against yours. You felt an indescribable warmth erupt in your chest, and you whimpered against Levi’s lips. His kiss was soft and warm, a huge contrast to the Levi from this past month. He pulled away just as quickly as he had bent down.

“One for the road,” he simply explained, glancing down at you. He internally smirked at the pretty blush coloring your cheeks— he was always fond of the sight.

▲▼▲

“You’re not serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

You stifled your giggles at Levi’s straight face. Your expression still showed your disbelief at what he had just told you.

“I’m not an idiot, Levi, I know how some people look at me,” you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Even the Commander?”

“Oh, I’m working my way up through the ranks right now, can’t you tell?” You teased, gesturing down to your intertwined bodies, as you both faced each other in his warm bed.

“You’re funny, brat,” he deadpanned, no heat and all fondness as he affectionately pinched your cheeks.

You snuggled deeper into his chest, savoring the warmth that you were enveloped in. You were wearing his shirt— still warm and smelling strongly of him— and you inhaled softly as your face pressed deeper into his chest. Somehow, the slight aftermath of your headache from the recent expedition began to dull slightly.

“I’m sorry again,” Levi murmured, softly cradling your head against his chest.

“Really? I couldn’t tell the first five hundred times you said so,” you teased, looking up at him. Your breath hitched at the sight of his face angled down towards you, dark wisps of hair falling over his eyes and structured face. Levi was so painfully handsome, you could feel your heart flutter.

His eyes were intense, and his guilt continued to stir within his stomach. Seemingly able to read his mind, you pressed a chaste kiss to his warm chest.

“Idiot,” you mumbled, “I really wouldn’t care if the King himself came up to me and proposed, and you know exactly why.”

“Humor me.”

“Terrifying guy, goes by the name of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier?”

He chuckled lowly, the deepness of his voice vibrating through his chest, and your insides turned to mush. Feeling relieved at successfully pulling Levi out of his little hole of guilt, you yawned softly. Your bruised ribs still ached at times, yet you ignored it this time to cuddle deeper into Levi, who was also on the verge of sleep.

He was sleepily looking down at you, observing your attempts to get comfortable in his embrace, and he softly smiled to himself. His muscular arms tightened around you, one of his hands coming to rest on the soft curve of your hip. He relished in the fact that sleep would be coming easily to him with you here. Levi had surprised himself with how easily he was able to show his affections toward you, and he chalked it up to that being further proof that you really were the only one for him.

He felt a warmth come from the sweet pang in his chest, and it spread throughout his entire body. Levi had learned to associate that feeling with you.

His eyes closed silently, and you pressed one last kiss to his chest.

“Precious,” he mumbled, “Precious little brat.”

▲▼▲

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan #attack on titan fic #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin #levi aot #levi fanfiction #aot fanfiction #aot #request #jean kirschtien #jean kirstein x reader

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cotccotc · 3 years

Text

SKZ + a ftm s/o !!

◌ ftm (female-to-male) refers to a transgender person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. these people are awesome, lovely, brave, & valid !! (yes that’s part of the official definition !!!! look it up <3)

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by @lixsmullet ♡ )

genre/s: fluff, skz x ftm reader

warning/s: mentions of dysphoria, mentions of periods, one very brief implication of transphobia (NOT IN REFERENCE TO THE MEMBERS DW), use of various pet names, swearing, my dumb formatting and commentary uwu

wc: ~1.5k

a/n: i hope i did this req justice !!! i made sure to do a lot of research on topics that might come up in this situation so i hope everything is accurate, but also inclusive for multiple types of people within the ftm umbrella. the descriptions might not be too deep but pls know they were written with a lot of care. OH ALSO i included potential pet names they might use !! i really really hope y’all enjoy this :) lmk what u think !!

◌ CHAN

chan’s known for putting other people’s needs before his own, and this is no exception.

he’d be super giving !!! would buy you “world’s best boyfriend” mugs and shit !!! it’s cringe but you love him so it’s fine !!!

more on top of your doctors appointments or meds than you are tbh

boy oh boy… if you take/decide to start taking testosterone……

LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE T POLICE KJDF

he just wants to do everything he can to help you !!!!! whether it means literally helping you stay on top of things and being your at-home (emotional) therapist, or giving you space.

i feel like he’s very good at detecting how a person feels based on their face or body language, so he’d always be on the lookout in case you might be feeling off or dysphoric.

and, as much as it might pain him, he’d give you as much time/space as you need. once again, he has your best interest in mind 24/7 !!! he just loves you so much, you know? 🥺

potential pet names (as long as you’re ok with them !! that goes for each member.): babyboy (we saw this one coming), foxy/sexy (mostly sarcastic but also… True), sunshine

◌ MINHO

a thing that i personally love to imagine: minho introducing you to people as his boyfriend

if anybody ever gives either of you a questioning look afterward (either intentionally or not) he wouldn’t waver at all !!! he’d just stand there and keep smiling. because you’re his boyfriend, duh

constantly reminds you how strong you are !! how super tough and cool you are !!! because it’s true !!!!!!!

i feel like i always make him sound like the ceo of Boyfriend Bootcamp in my reactions but i MEAN???

for example, if you’re ever feeling down (for whatever reason. whether it applies to you being trans or not) he’d be like “MAN UP !!! YOU’RE A WARRIOR !!!! ……. a cute one <3333 bUT A STRONG ONE !!!!!!”

in general, i definitely see him as the type of person who’ll just grab your hand or hold you a little closer in situations where he thinks you might feel uncomfortable, and even if he doesn’t directly acknowledge it, you know there’s a lot of love and care behind the gesture.

also… you’re sad? here, hold a cat.

potential pet names: stud (as a joke.. but it stuck), anything that starts with “my” (like my boy, my baby, my love, etc.)

◌ CHANGBIN

ok listen

i’m not calling changbin lazy

HOWEVER

he will most definitely try and make you do “manly” things for him when he doesn’t feel like it- SJDJJ

imagine his raspy, tough, yet adorably whiny voice being all:

“BAAAABE…. BABYYYYYY….. come lift this fOR MEEEEEEEE”

ESPECIALLYYYY if you’re taller than him oh my Lord

BUT HE’D DENY IT AT ALL COSTS !!!

changbin, pointing to an object on a tall shelf: “BABE can you get this for me? you’re so strong you can do it <3333”

you: “short ass-”

changbin: “hEY”

ALSO if you menstruate, i personally believe that he would be very comforting to have around during that time !!!!! just chillin on the couch !!!!!! vibin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your very own personal heating pad <33 jksjfd

potential pet names: babe, bunny, hot stuff (sometimes used for moments of sarcasm !!! there are lots of those..)

◌ HYUNJIN

he’s very sweet and loving with you, which never changes despite anything you might be going through. like ,,,ever.

i can see him being especially sweet and helpful for someone who doesn’t want to or can’t surgically transition !!!!

would do everything he could to emphasize the fact that you’re his favorite boy !!!!

whether it’s through activities, pet names, playful jokes, etc., he always wants to remind you how manly and lovely you are !! lolll

i present to you a thought that just popped up in my head and Will Not Leave:

you might normally be the little spoon, but if you ever feel a bit off about your body or just don’t want to be held, THIS BOY WILL GET CURLED UP IN A LITTLE SPOON POSITION FOR YOU !! SO VERY FAST !!!

(is it also an excuse for him to be the little spoon? yeah maybe it is-)

potential pet names: hubby (regardless of whether or not you’re married sjdsdf), prince, things that start with “my”

◌ JISUNG

asks lots of questions !!!!!!! whenever he’s not sure how to proceed with something or has any general questions about being trans or how to support you, he’ll be completely transparent with you about it.

even though it makes him a lil embarrassed 🥺🥺

will overuse the terms “dude” and “bro” just to make you laugh… but you both know there’s a hidden underlayer of validation there

loves cheering you up when you’re not feeling your best !!!

also ,,,,,,Youtube Research Enthusiast

“hey y/n check this out! let’s try it :D” and it’s a two minute video about how to naturally lower your voice

and you go along with it because a.) he’s cute for suggesting it, b.) it could actually be useful, and c.) he’ll look cute stretching his neck for a few minutes and it would be a valuable use of your time to watch him do it <3 jsjdfh

oh also !!!! we know he’s just Like This anyways, but he will indeed take every chance he gets to kiss random parts of your body like your hands, shoulders, the tip of your nose, and anything else you’re comfy with :) he just likes 2 smooch, what can i say?

potential pet names: anything silly !! bubba, baby/babycakes, good lookin’, etc.

◌ FELIX

this is somewhat similar to what i’d suggested in my nonbinary coming out reaction, but i feel like he’d take a lot of care to make you feel more confident in yourself !!!

especially when it comes to your appearance !!!!! if you ever decide to try out a new hairstyle, different clothing, etc., he’d HYPE YOU UPPPPP omg

you: *exists*

felix: *silly smirk* “my handsome boy.. hehe” 🥺

bakes for u !!!!!!! will come over asap with freshly baked cookies if he even senses you might not be feeling your best !!!!!!!!!!!!!

we all know he’s a real cuddlebug, but since you’ve explained dysphoria to him (to the best of your ability), it’s very important to him that he doesn’t overstep with the physical affection

he might also suggest you use a code word or gesture to signify if it’s ok for him to get all close and cuddly with you !! he knows you have your off days, and the last thing he wants to do is emphasize your insecurities.

he loves you more than anything, and he just wants to see you smile :)

potential pet names: handsome, love, sweets (bc ya know,,, brownie boy things <3)

◌ SEUNGMIN

would regularly spend hours and hours doing research on trans rights, different forms of transitioning, other people’s perspectives (both in his position and yours), etc

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if he posted some questions on a website like reddit or quora or something from time to time SJDK (but eventually he’d be much more comfortable asking you directly, especially since he knows not every person is the same)

he really just wants to make sure he understands how you feel to the best of his ability in order to best care for you !!!

VERY VERY diligent if he has to adjust to new pronouns. would practice that shit like it’s his JOB.

i think he’d just be very scared of screwing something up, which you might have to console him about from time to time.

you know he’s trying his best to a.) not make this about himself and b.) do everything in his power to support you

sorta similarly to changbin, i think he’d be nice to have around if you’re ever on your period !! overall, this boy would do his RESEARCH

potential pet names: baby, mister (for some playful sarcasm), bear (or baby bear, honey bear, etc.)

◌ JEONGIN

if you’re ever feeling dysphoric, depressed, anxious, or generally not the best, he will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to cheer you up.

you: :(

jeongin: “ok fine you have permission to poke my cheeks all day”

you: :D

jeongin: :D

is also very similar to changbin !!!!! he’ll very dramatically give up on a task that requires even the slightest bit of manliness just so you can do it for him…. because he’s laz- i mean thoughtful <33

ok picture something with me besties (and this is quite random so bear with me):

he buys you cologne. cute !! very sweet of him yes <3 …...but the Backstory-

he had No idea what kind to get, so he went to the store and tried on like 10 different kinds until he realized he could just swatch them on a piece of paper so now he’s covered in cologne and he buys the one he thought was his favorite but he comes home to realize it was the WRONG ONE so he has to go back to the store and test them all again until he finds the one

..all just so he could surprise you & make you feel more masculine :’)

anyways LONG STORY SHORT: innie best boy :D

potential pet names: bun (in reference to bread, of course. you must match.), handsome, sexy (BUT ONLY IF YOU SAY IT RIGHT BACK !!!!!! sexy loaf boyfriends aw <3)

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

#districtninewriters #inkidz #skzwritersclub #fluffyskzclub #straykidsland #*fics #*8 #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids #skz ot8 #stray kids ot8 #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #tw: gender dysphoria #tw: transphobia #tw: periods

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stray-tori · 3 years

Text

TPN S02E02 - initial thoughts (anime-only)

youtube

^^^ viewing with my friends

__________________________

. More thoughts:

I loved how ep2 used a similar sequence of shots to immediately bring our minds to conny's shipment and further connect us to Emma's association / state of mind.

+ waterdrop of death continues, glad to have it back

. “Humans outside”

I also talked about this in the video, but I find it interesting that we’ve heard two different insights from Krone and Sonju. “Humans on equal footing outside” vs. “there are no humans outside of the farms”. I really emphasized the “equal footing” thing in video, which also still does seems weird to me, and I can come to the following conclusions:

Krone just thinks they’re equals because they’re higher up the hierarchy than she is, but in reality even the top of the farms are oppressed by the demons as well.

for some reason, even after being heavily outnumbered by demons, humans found a way to be close to equal footing --- I mentioned breeding the humans for them in the video, and I still think that could be part of it but I also had a different thought: it’s interesting that it’s 1000 years - sad, my 2000 years theory didn’t hold up - because that implies 1000 years of technological advancement (phones, the camera, electronics are clearly a thing) still happened in the demon “world” (and we’ve never seen demons use them, they seem to be a human thing). The highest up the hierarchy we’ve seen happen to be the scientists. That’s why I think it’s plausible that humans are smarter than demons (cue the fascination and desert of smart people) and they provide technological advancement and food, and in exchange the top of that chain in the humans can “co-exist”. But we haven’t seen a lot of demon society so it’s hard to say if they’re just not as inventive as humans. And even if that WERE the case, I don’t think that’s enough to call it “equal”, it’s still a massive power difference. Though apparantly, SOMEHOW, the struggle used to be equal 1000 years ago, so- like I think “We’ll kill you” is still something that’s likely to be the winning argument even if there was the chance to be on equal grounding again.

But now that I’m thinking about it, even taking the “equal” thing away, it’s still contradicting. Krone specifically talked about the humans delivering goods, which are technically “outside” and still “in the farm (system)” - but they are definitely not on equal standing. So I don’t think she means the other working parts of the forms.

So I just wonder if there are humans who are benefitting from this system in some way for damning others. Hello ominous guy from the OP.

He doesn’t seem too oppressed, going to be honest.

It’s possible I guess that the demons wanted to make sure that there wouldn’t be an uprising by having humans “on their side” and the higher ups, not concerned for the humans further down the food chain, agreed, thus making it a deal and “equal”. Since they can’t kill every human because they’re their precious food, so it’s a good idea to keep them in check and not have them hate them actively, but I think demons could still stop a human uprising??? It might be unnecessary drama though.

But even then, you can’t really say they keep up a good relationship with the higher up humans to make people further down cooperate, since they are driven by existential angst (become a mom or die). They know humans will cooperate them if you threaten them with death.

So I’m just really confused what makes the higher ups so different.

inb4 it was just Krone’s subjective knowledge and I make a fool of myself but again, ominous guy from the OP seems like he’s really enjoying this (assumingly high) standing he has.

I’M JUST CONFUSED.

I don’t understand politics, clearly.

. The Promised Exposition

[someone talking about how it was portrayed boringly]

yeah, I imagined some sort of visual to go along with the exposition bc the music sounded so fairytale / telling ish but then again, the anime never really showed things that were explained; and let the viewer imagine it.

So now I really have no idea if it's like... actual geographical separation (#more walls time) or like,, parallel worlds?? I feel like taking away the visuals kind of leaves more room for interpretations, and imagination but I still agree that it's sad they don't really play with imaginary things. it's kinda grounded in LA techniques in that aspect I feel.

About the reveal itself: I didn’t expect the potential solution to be revealed so soon, and it was different to what I expected. I’m still a little confused on how the demon vs human fighting was so balanced?? did demons use to be more like Sonju and Mujika, because then I can kind of get it I guess? Like humans have a chance then.

Or where they all just dumb dog demons bumping against trees because then I get it too pff-

Either way, as touched upon higher up: The demon world seems to have some classical human inventions. Does that mean that

a) the demon world just happens to have the people in it that made those inventions?

b) someone else invented them and there’s a similar technical progress in the “human world”?

c) there’s no crossing between the worlds (according to Sonju), so it can’t be that the inventions are from the human world, I think. I wonder if we’ll see it and how different it’ll be from the demon world’s humans inventions.

The more I think about it, the more interesting I find this potential solution. It still seems a little too magical, but the setup is already magical and as my friends pointed out, it’s not just a matter of “go over there and be safe”.

Breaking the promise could start the demons being enraged at it and breaking it too, and the hunting could re-start.

Maybe it could be missed or just not noticed if just our group left, but Emma has learned nothing from her compromise in S1 and now plans to take EVERY CHILD, apparantly, probably soon to be replaced with every human. And that’s definitely not going to go down well with the demons.

I wonder if the eventual conclusion will be to save a small group of people, paralleling S1′s conflict. Save everyone vs. saving those you can right now and coming to terms with the sacrifices you made (which technically, hasn’t happened yet. For Emma it’s not like she gave them up, she’s going back for them. But as this story is being setup now, I think it’s highly impossible to take every human/every child). Which has pretty dark implications! You might get out, but the cycle will just start again as long as any humans exist in the demons’ world; the suffering will continue. Escaping already likely endangered the humans in charge of the farms, who likely won’t (or can’t in case of the implants in the moms) escape even if there’s a big scale rescue operation (plus good luck with getting everyone while having all demon forces on your back).

But I feel like that’s a more likely resolution than fighting a rebellion against the demons, which would likely have no end and no satisfying resolution. Obviously I’m not really sure where this story will lead and what will have to be done in order to cross over.

If it breaks the “promise” and figurative “wall” between the worlds, it could be damning all of humanity. So I guess the alternative resolution would be that they stay in the demon world, to not risk that, and do their best living a good life there, and also.... probably coming to terms with not being able to save everyone.

It’s also definitely not as satisfying from a storytelling perspective, but there’s a lot of interesting conflicts and dangers being setup.

. Sonju

Yeah it was sweet how he was like careful being like "i can't leave this around the kids", and being like "it's hard to say this" when he had to tell them about the rule to the promise or later when he asked Emma if they should not do the gupna thing this time. Like he's honest and direct but still caring and that's sweeto

. Mom Gilda

The scene with Emma and Gilda was amazing, it was so funny, but even then the art actually did look intimidating, which I felt they struggled with in S1 sometimes (Emma holding Ray’s hand telling him to never do it again was just like “pff-”) but this was really well done.

It just heavily parallels Isabella trying to tell Emma to become a Mom so that’s??? an interesting thing, that kind of threw me off for a bit.

But maybe that’s just confirming that Gilda is indeed the mom.

i feel like the art in general improved a bit tbh. Obviously with nature and fantastical elements there’s a lot more to MAKE look pretty but idk, it’s just nice!

All the stuff surrounding this was so sweet too, Jemima is too precious and panicky Ray as she’s crying is just adorable udshdjs. Also Lani and Thoma being like “can’t leave him alone for 2 seconds, keeps trying to die” is a big mood but also RIP Ray.

. RIP Ray

Speaking of RIP Ray......

#tpn #tpn s2 #tpn s2e02 #tpn anime #tpn theory #tpn analysis #tpn anime spoilers #tpn s2 spoilers #tori talks #tori has opinions #long post #good job ray

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quillyfied · 3 years

Text

Omenstuck Act 2 Bonus Content

Hello! Here’s just some extra bonus content from the pretty weighty upd8 I posted to my fanfic Omenstuck today (for Chapter 4: Act 2 specifically). A lot of background info went into it that I’m not going to get much occasion to use, so I’m doing what any self-respecting writer would do and dumping it here instead. Obviously has huge spoilers for Omenstuck so if you haven’t read the upd8s from today, don’t look. Hope the readmore holds on mobile, and there are some images below, too. Enjoy!

So for starters, I’m going to post the little cheat sheet that I had on hand for remembering all the characters’ assigned blood colors, Trollian handles, god tier titles, and quadrants (both filled and experimented with):

In order, here’s what we’ve got:

Crowley. Blood: burgundy. UN: anthomanicCaduceus. GT: Rogue of Life. Quadrants: Aziraphale (matesprit), Eric (auspistice, unwitting) and Hastur (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, unwitting). Lusus: snake

Eric. Blood: brown. UN: coneyCloning. GT: Heir of Time. Quadrants: Auspistice to Crowley and Hastur (unwitting); Uriel (auspistice between arguing Erics, short-lived). Lusus: rabbit

Beelzebub. Blood: yellow. UN: carrionTyrant. GT: Prince of Rage. Quadrants: Dagon (moirail), Gabriel (kismesis). Lusus: giant fly

Ligur. Blood: lime/red (vacillating glitch). UN: guanineChameleon. GT: Sylph of Space. Quadrants: Hastur (moirail), Michael (kismesis). Lusus: chameleon

Hastur. Blood: olive. UN: amphibiousGrunt. GT: Knight of Breath. Quadrants: Ligur (moirail), Eric (auspistice, unwitting) and Crowley (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, unwitting). Lusus: frog

Dagon. Blood: jade. UN: aquaticTaskmaster. GT: Witch of Mind. Quadrants: Beelzebub (moirail), Sandalphon (matesprit, short-lived), Metatron (kismesis, one-sided crush). Lusus: lungfish

Aziraphale. Blood: teal. UN: aetherialAntiquarian. GT: Thief of Doom. Quadrants: Crowley (matesprit), Michael (auspistice, coercing) and Sandalphon (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coercing). Lusus: ??? (dragon, owl?)

Michael. Blood: cerulean. UN: tenebrousAgent. GT: Seer of Void. Quadrants: Uriel (moirail), Aziraphale (one leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coerced) and Sandalphon (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, co-conspirator), Ligur (kismesis). Lusus: ??? (tbh spider would still fit here)

Sandalphon. Blood: indigo. UN: toughenedCrusader. GT: Page of Blood. Quadrants: Michael (auspistice, co-conspirator) and Aziraphale (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coerced), Gabriel (moirail), Dagon (matesprit, short-lived). Lusus: ??? (Possibly musclebeast)

Uriel. Blood: purple. UN: celestialAureate. GT: Maid of Heart. Quadrants: Michael (moirail), Eric (mediated between two of his arguing selves, short-lived). Lusus: ??? (sea-goat still viable)

Gabriel. Blood: violet. UN: gregariousArchangel. GT: Bard of Hope. Quadrants: Sandalphon (moirail), Beelzebub (kismesis). Lusus: ??? (seahorse or shark)

Metatron. Blood: fuchsia. UN: communicantGodhead. GT: Mage of Light. Quadrants: object of one-sided pitch crush from Dagon. Lusus: Horrorterror from Beyond (Gl’bgol’yb, probably)

Here’s the shipping chart of what this madness looked like:

Solid lines for established or longer-lasting relationships, dotted lines for either crushes or experiments that didn’t pan out. Crowley, Eric, and Hastur’s auspisticism is dotted because it’s not a consciously-thought out relationship that’s actually been defined so much as a convenient social contract that keeps Hastur from killing Crowley by distracting him with a multitude of Erics, which makes it a pretty functional auspisticism, actually.

Some notes:

- If you’re thinking that the blood colors and god tier titles don’t exactly fit, you’re right, but there’s a reason, and we’ll get to it in future chapters of Omenstuck. Maybe one day I’ll do the thing proper and give them all more accurate classpects and blood colors, but I think I did pretty well, given everything.

- This means that it was Hastur and Ligur’s jobs, as the Knight and Space players, to breed the Genesis Frog, which creates each new universe, and that tickles me to the bone.

- Ligur’s whole situation is a nod to both Good Omens and to Homestuck; for a bit I entertained making Crowley the hemo-mutant that Karkat is, but thought he fit best lower on the totem pole (on his belly he shall crawl and all that). Canonically, Karkat’s bright red human-like blood is a mutation off of an old hemospectrum caste, the limebloods, and it tickled me to think of Ligur occupying both the limebloods and the red mutation that spawned from it, as a nod to his color-changing in Good Omens and his affiliation with chameleons. Also, apparently it’s the guanine in their skin that makes chameleons change color, which is what the G in Homestuck pesterchum handles stands for (bc the chats are all supposed to represent DNA strands that make up each Genesis Frog that creates each new universe), so it came together kinda perfectly. If Ligur ever was in a pesterlog, I was going to code it so his lines would alternate colors, but it didn’t pan out that way.

- Was it overly simplistic to cast Hell as the lowbloods and Heaven as the highbloods? Yes. But there are two reasons for this, one of which I can’t say because spoilers, one of which I will freely admit, which is that I got tired and just simplified where I could because I was already putting more effort into backstory that turned out to be less relevant than I thought once I finally got the dang thing written.

- In the bowels of my Instagram there is a doodle of Gabriel with the traditional Bardic codpiece and an expression to match, but I didn’t keep it in canon. It is definitely there in spirit and more loving detail will be paid attention to it if I ever go back and do a proper Homestuck troll AU.

- There was a subplot I discarded when thinking of the quadrant entanglements that involved Dagon hooking up with both Sandalphon and Michael in a redrom way and that being one of the catalysts for the bloodbath at the end, because I adore Dagon/Michael and wanted to go there first but she was already appearing so much, and I remember reading about Dagon/Sandalphon once in a fic I wish I could remember off the top of my head and it was so bizarre I adored it. Ultimately I stuck with Dagon and Sandalphon having a redrom fling, because why not.

- Dagon was also going to have a whole Thing against Metatron that boiled down to her having vestigial seadweller traits and being jealous of an actual seadweller that didn’t do his heritage credit, but Metatron was such a non-entity that it didn’t feel relevant to bring up, with so much already getting crammed into this upd8.

- Gabriel and Eridan have some eerie synergy and that’s a hill I’ll die on.

- Uriel was supposed to have a bigger part, too, delving into how they fit into the whole purpleblood Mirthful Messiahs cult and how they use their paint to emphasize their vitiligo (inspired by their canonical pretty gold face markings), but once again...not enough room, not enough interaction with Crowley or Aziraphale. They were either going to be a huge part of it, or eschew it entirely in favor of worshipping Metatron and possibly Metatron’s eldritch lusus instead, but eh. Roads untraveled. I also didn’t doodle their facepaint while I was doing my concept sketches/brainstorming activities so I just let it be.

- The whole Michael and Sandalphon using a heavily manipulative auspisticism to blackmail and control Aziraphale was a concept I had from the beginning, but when I wrote the scene, it actually shook me up a lot; Auspisticism is one of the platonic and weirder quadrants in Homestuck, but it didn’t hit me until I had written it how that particular dynamic could be exploited and turned into something kinda borderline abusive, if not outright abusive (I’m trying to be more careful in how I apply the word so I don’t know for sure if what I wrote counts as fully abusive, or just a super bad time). To be honest, in all the Homestuck fics that ever were, I don’t think I ever read a single one that described what I did in this fic (and RAPE MENTION TW a part of me that is forever struck by my friend’s fic that described a brutal pale rape, as in forcing the usual nonsexual markers of the pale quadrant on an unwilling victim, was worried that I had written ashen rape, which was NOT where I wanted to go; after worrying about it to friends and sleeping on it, I don’t think I quite went there, but the implication that it COULD happen is going to haunt me for a while).

- I did want to get more detailed with a lot of things, like Crowley and Aziraphale’s influencing and talking with humans, and how it was affecting things like their vocabulary and how they saw the world, but it was just too much to tackle in any great detail.

- the whole thing where Crowley uses his god tier powers to steal Life energy from his fellow stranded trolls and makes plants that could potentially feed them one day? Totally unexpected. I did a LOT of refreshing myself on the classes and aspects of god tiers when I was doing the groundwork for this part of the fic, but it didn’t strike me that that was a thing Crowley could do until I was already writing it. And maybe Aziraphale should’ve been a little more horrified by it, but Crowley’s right, they ARE immortal now. Also the whole “taking Life energy and redistributing it among allies” thing probably wasn’t meant to be interpreted as “puts the other trolls in the Mood for quadrant hookups” but it was too hilarious a coincidence to ignore. Life needs things to live, as a wise internet dnd player once said, and when you’re the last of your species, you’ve gotta do what you can to propagate (even if it’s functionally impossible to restore your species, since there’s no Mother Grub to donate slurry to and no ectobiological lab to make ectobabies from. God loves a trier). Does that make all the hookups dubious consent, since weird Life magic was involved? I don’t think so, I think it just accelerated what was already present, but I’ll leave that to y’all to judge.

- Crowley was actually supposed to be the one to die. It said so in my notes. It was a whole Thing, Crowley getting speared or shot or whatever and looking at Aziraphale like “ha I got this one better luck next time”. But then I made Aziraphale a Thief of Doom, which was originally a joke to myself about how he hoards books (Thief players are hoarders and Doom can represent rules or systems), and then he got all contemplative and hit ME back with “no, no, sister, you made me a Thief of Doom, I’m gonna steal this death meant for Crowley and keep it all to myself, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” And he was RIGHT. I can’t believe I’ve killed Aziraphale THREE TIMES now. And I completely forgot about how god tier players are also immortal from being killed unless the death is Heroic or Just until, again Aziraphale reminded me by pushing Crowley out of the way--therefore making his death to sacrifice himself for his friend and beloved Heroic. I played myself in every possible way. Checkmate, brain. (As for what that means in future chapters, stick around, it’s only gonna get weirder, but Homestucks who are puzzled at the inclusion of Dream Shards rather than Dream Bubbles are encouraged to draw some conclusions of their own.)

I think that’s all I wanted to talk about, so have a doodle of Michael with her Seer hood drawn for funsies.

See y’all later! Feel free to send me an ask or a comment or whatever if you have any questions or just wanna talk about this madness I’m creating!

#good omens #omenstuck #quilly writing #quillartist #quilly writing: director's cut #oof y'all i did so much weird work on this #feels good to have it all out there

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nbapprentice · 4 years

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You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.

okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step

the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to.

gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)

i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).

that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about

CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning

bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.

we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.

the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.

transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god.

very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.

pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.

onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃

hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.

and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)

and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).

this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.

so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])

but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.

Don’t Like That.

i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/

tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.

#Anonymous #asks #mod nba #supergiant #supergiant games #bastion #transistor #hades #pyre

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daisychvins · 3 years

Text

｡･ﾟﾟ･ — introduction.

introducing ... violet’s demise ! aka grayson aka her big brother she’s been wiring money to stay away in europe <33333

name: grayson swag money jeon age: 22 turning 23 (don’t ask me about his sign that’s for liza to figure out someday <3) gender: cis male; he/him hometown: baltimore, maryland sexuality: bisexual & biromantic

listen i was feeling rlly committed to completing his stats but i’m already over it so don’t ask dont tell xx anYWAYS let’s get on to the juicy stuff hehe

i tend to ramble a lot so this intro is gonna be probably a mixture of paragraphs and bullet points and everything in between but let’s start simple. also i rlly wanna emphasize a massive DRUGS TW bc his character largely revolves around his interest in and addiction to drugs

blackmails

grayson is claiming that he's been in a rehab program for the last year and is now completely sober and reformed when he really was just using the money to party and travel throughout europe.

without his parents paying to support him now, he's had to start dealing to make ends meet and keep up appearances. it’s mostly coke, but he dabbles in harder substances depending on what his connections can get him.

grayson dabbles with calligraphy and was notorious for forging excuse notes and parent signatures all throughout high school and even now sells forgeries for a quick buck. the most notable of these was xavi’s letter of recommendation that helped him get into yale.

background

grayson is violet’s older brother!!1 yes, that’s right, THE big brother who’s been out of the country getting LIT (and by lit i mean he’s been traveling europe on a series of solo trips w his parents’ money and doin lots of recreational drugs)

i haven’t fully fleshed out the dynamic he has w his parents but just know it’s ,, bad ASDHFJNK basically the jeons treated their children like accessories and expected them to be their little trophies and grayson just was not having that as a kid!!! so he acted out a lot and obviously got himself into a pretty bad scene (thank u goosie) and is basically the bane of his parents existence at this point <3 yet they still try to appease him to keep him under control but that’s for the family task to work out hehehehe

despite hating his parents, he adores both of his siblings. before the drug use started, he was always a big nurturer and would have done anything for either of them......now he wouldn’t be caught dead praising violet but he loves her in secret from afar HSJDFKG

yeah basically he met goose when he was around 15 i think????? and got introduced to drugs around 16 or 17 i wanna say and by the time he graduated high school he was just....a much different person than the soft big brother he used to be. his parents sent him off to europe pretty much as soon as he turned 18 under the guise of going to school internationally, but grayson obviously knew the truth and understood that he was being sent away so he wouldn’t be his parents problem anymore.

he basically spent the last four years galavanting europe and just....trying to enjoy it???? but it’s hard to enjoy an extended vacation when u have no family or friends on ur side anymore </3 he basically used the money to stay in hostels and worked odd jobs here and there to stay afloat and keep supplied w the...special goods....but yeah lots of drugs, alcohol, sex, and recklessness but he DID learn a couple languages??? or at least enough to get through some pretty basic conversations in most european countries so <3 guess it’s all okay then!!!!

anyways idk what else to put here that u won’t just find out in the family task so uhhhhhh idk lmk if u need anything else i guess

present/personality

so now grayson is just vibing at yale obviously ummm he actually got super into writing after high school, especially poetry. he used to carry journals full of just random prose about his addiction and his deepest thoughts, as well as probably some lighter stuff about his love escapades or maybe goose idk...basically he used poetry as an outlet and it allowed him to really ground himself and find his place in the world even if it didnt include who he thought it would SO with that being said, grayson got into yale due to a poetry competition he was a part of. he saw some big fancy competition being advertised and on a whim decided to submit some poem about his struggles with addiction and losing his family (a v raw piece that he didn’t expect to ever see the light of day) and he actually ended up winning! it caught yale’s attention and they invited him to apply and, knowing how much it would probably disturb his little sister, grayson very smugly applied and was pretty stoked to see he got in

because that poem gained such publicity, it was assumed that he was a survivor of addiction and was writing from a sober perspective. he didn’t want to correct anyone, so he just went with it and has basically crafted this story about his massive success and has become an advocate for addiction treatment and rehabilitation. of course, none of the companies that sponsor him or the events that host him as a motivational speaker know that he’s snorting lines in the bathroom beforehand or dealing to half the elites, but that’s between grayson, god, and the blackmailer !

basically grayson showed back up because of violet’s blackmail being exposed. he was off in europe, unable to defend himself, and with a massive vendetta against his family so he decided what better way to reenter society than by publicly outing himself as a martyr <3333 his plan is basically to bash the family name to fulfill whatever angsty coming of age arc he has in store for him to make up for the pain of being sent away .... really angsty yeah </3 rip grayson

anyways yeah he’s a total fake. he’s been using his status as a martyr to his advantage a lot, the best example being his recruitment into the elites. he guilted them into accepting him by discussing the PR benefits of recruiting a member that struggles with addiction and how supporting addiction treatment and second chances would be such a good look for them. like he basically threatened to publicly expose them for denying him due to his troubled past and accuse them of being exclusionary so they said boop ! ur in. now the elites are proud advocates for second chances <3333

i would describe grayson as fearless, overconfident, infamous due to his condition being exposed recently, a little gloomy, he’s kind of just got this chip on his shoulder and feels like he has something to prove....he’s gotta be better than his parents, gotta stick it to them and to violet and to everyone who doubts him. he’s a grumpy guy with a massive vendetta and a need for some kind of justice. he just doesn’t know what that is yet. despite all of the bad, however, he’s genuinely a pretty good guy. he’s really goofy and a genuine person, pretty friendly with literally everyone until they give him a reason not to be. basically, unless you are a member of the jeon family he probably likes you or is at least cordial to you (unless we plot differently ofc but u know). he’s just a big lovable dummy with some sweet drug connects and a knack for poetry. he also knows calligraphy but that’s beside the point .

idk if this is enough to describe him but yeah if u have any questions just let me know hehe

this is probably gonna make things hard but considering violet was just exposed i think that he’s pretty new to yale ???? like probably just transferred in/started this spring semester rather than being here for the entire year/a prolonged amount of time so most of our plots will likely have to be newer/center on him first showing up OR we can establish their connections from pre-europe which is also fine w me....idk i didnt rlly think this timeline through so let’s just plot and see what happens aghbfjnd anyways i included some connection ideas to help us all just in case

wanted connections

i’d say he’s the honorary dealer of the elites aghbdfjn so literally anyone who needs a plug could be a potential connection. we can obviously tweak this and customize it to each character <3

maybe someone who met grayson in europe. they could have travelled together for an extended period of time or even just a brief encounter. he was over there for four years, so the possibilities are endless.

building off the last one, this same connection could work with a romantic interest. maybe they were romantically involved for a time in europe and fell out of touch or maybe grayson/your muse just left in the middle of the night and they never saw each other again until now and maybe there’s some unresolved feelings/one-sided longing or need for closure. it could also be that they just hooked up whenever this person was in the area and that was that, no strings attached.

maybe someone who genuinely believes that grayson is actually sober and really admires his strength and idk maybe they’re struggling w their own issues and seek advice from him or maybe they just make it harder for him to actually do his thing bc they’re constantly around and it’s not like they can catch him strung out and acting up

someone in the literature department or with a background in english or writing. someone he could read poetry to, or share his favorite lines with. someone who’s taken the same professors and can tell him who to watch out for or what to expect. idk i just want him to have someone to share his passions with. maybe a little crush is forming? maybe they’re just friends who share a love of fiction? idk i’m open to literally anything

he’s sort of a motivational speaker now bc he advocates for rehabilitation resources and stuff so like maybe ur muse saw him give a presentation or participate in some kind of seminar and they called bullshit on him after the show bc they were like,,, bro i literally saw u partying w max and avery last weekend what the fuck are u on about and now they could potentially hold that blackmail over his head hehe......

exes plots are always fun we love angst in this house

fuck it let’s bring another family member BHJFNGKM no but grayson rlly is a nurturing guy and like....definitely develops unhealthy attachments to cope w his loss of family so he’d love all the sibling-like bonds he can get to kinda numb the pain of “””””losing””””” violet

if none of these interest you i’m literally so down for anything pls just let me know and i’m happy to brainstorm always <333333

thank u for reading this....smooch .

#anyways this is just under 1900 words whoops #stream of consciousness wins again #intro #literally dont even have my tags sorted yet dont talk to me .

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trensu · 4 years

Text

Episode 23: the One where JYL Captains the Ship

Alrighty, so battle stuff is happening

Nothing major going on

EXCEPT wen ruohan leaves his evil lair to confront wwx about how he took control of his puppets!

Wrh: where did you get the Plot Device?? Did xy give it to you?? HOW ARE YOU MAKING IT WORK??

Basically just Angry Ranting that Bad Guys do

Wwx mouths off, as usual

Lwj’s eyes are glued on him this entire time bc when isn’t staring at wwx?

(I understand lwj, I too cannot tear my eyes away from wwx when he's onscreen, that beauty mark just under his lower lip is so goddamn distracting...)

Wwx: hey, wrh, i just finished making his nifty thing and haven’t shown anyone yet, wanna see it?

And tah dah! We now have Plot Device 2 (aka stygian tiger seal/amulet whatever)

Pay attention to Plot Device 2, guys, it’s gonna cause us some angsty wangxiantics in the future (BRACE YOURSELVES)

Pausing here to point out how freaking cool wwx looks, levitating the pieces of Plot Device 2

OH NO, WEN RUOHAN IS NOW CHOKING WWX

THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!

STOP HURTING MY SUNSHINE BOY

And wwx is smirking in victory?? What the heck wwx

Oh, it’s bc since wrh and wwx are wrapped up in their confrontation, there’s no one controlling the puppets so the puppets all collapse. That was part of his plan, maybe?? Idk, doesn’t matter

What matters is that this frees up LWJ to fly to wwx’s side

WHICH MEANS THAT LWJ IS THERE TO CATCH WWX ONCE WRH DROPS HIM!!

Lwj: Wei Ying! *catches his soulmate*

Wwx: *passes out in the arms of his very dashing soulmate*

Lwj barely even acknowledges that Meng Yao kills Wen Ruohan bc who cares about the big bad villain getting killed whEN YOUR SOULMATE IS PASSED OUT IN YOUR ARMS??

Lwj: Wei Ying

He says again! As his eyes stay glued onto wwx’s beautiful unconscious face. HE HOLDS HIM SO CLOSE

I mean, he could totally hold him CLOSER but that would be too much for the censors maybe??

Ppl are cheering. I was cheering. I don’t think we were cheering for the same reasons.

I was cheering bc lwj was ~tenderly cradling~ our beautiful sunshine boy

I think the other ppl were cheering bc the bad guy died? Weird.

LOL, DEJA VU MOMENT HERE

Lxc is cradling an unconscious Nmj

I guess the lan bros ARE pretty similar lolol

Boring stuff. Plot stuff. OMG I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY MENG YAO, SHUT UP.

Ahhhh, this next scene!

WWX is waking up in a bed and jyl is at the bedside.

Jyl starts bringing out the wangxian pie~! Maybe i should start using soup metaphors since Soup is her Thing…

Jyl is so happy that wwx is awake now!!

Jyl: you’ve been asleep for three (3) days!

Wwx: THREE DAYS??? What about jc and lwj??

HE IMMEDIATELY ASKS ABOUT THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT GUYS IN HIS LIFE, I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY.

Jyl: both jc and lwj have been very worried about you!

We find out that even sect leader jin has been visiting which is disgusting, so we’re ignoring it

Oh, jyl is trying to get wwx to stop moving around so much

Jyl: LWJ says you need to rest more. He says you used too much spiritual energy

LWJ HAS BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF HIM THIS WHOLE TIME

JYL TRUSTS HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HER LITTLE BROTHER!!!

Jyl: also don’t use Plot Device 2 all willy-nilly. LWJ says it’ll hurt you!!

Wwx: LWJ, LWJ, why do you keep talking about him? He’s so boring and he doesn’t talk enough!

BUT HE SAYS THIS WITH A CUTE LITTLE FOND SMILE

BC THINKING ABOUT LWJ MAKES HIM HAPPY

BOYYYYY

YOUR CRUSH CAN BE SEEN FROM PRESENT-DAY NON-FANTASY CHINA (but, uh, discreetly, bc of censorship)

Jyl: while you were comatose, lwj came by every morning and evening to play his guqin for you. To relax your mind and spirit

Jyl: you probably wouldn’t have woken up so soon if he hadn’t done that

AHHHHHHH THIS NEXT SCENE!!!!!

JYL IS JUST SPOONFEEDING US WANGXIAN PIE NOW

SHE’S GIVING US A BIG OL’ HELPING OF WANGXIAN PIE HERE!! WHICH IS GREAT BC I AM STARVING

Here comes lwj, with his guqin strapped to his back!

Lwj actually brings himself to knock on the door this time

SEE, THAT WASN’T SO HARD, WAS IT LWJ?? WHY COULDN’T YOU DO THAT BEFORE??

Jyl: oh, that must be lwj~!

ohhh, wwx's face when she says this! He looks all nervous and flustered

bc he has a ~gentleman caller~ and he’s not decent!!!

HE’S ONLY IN HIS ENTICING RED UNDER-ROBES!! IN BED!! AND LWJ IS VISITING!!

Okay, that’s probably not why BUT IN MY HEART THAT’S TOTALLY WHY

So jyl goes and answers the door

Lwj bows so respectfully to her (he knows she’s wwx’s precious person!!)

LOL, I LOVE HOW JYL DOESN’T MENTION THAT WWX IS AWAKE HERE

THAT’S MY CAPTAIN!! Lxc wishes he could captain as good

she just greets him like usual and lets him in

HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT’S WAITING FOR HIM INSIDE

IT’S AMAZING, JYL IS THE BEST

She leads him to the bedroom aND OH GOD, THE MINUTE LWJ’S EYES LAND ON WWX

HIS LIPS PART AS IF HIS BREATHING HITCHED IN HIS THROAT

HIS EYES NOTICEABLY WIDEN IN SURPRISE

THERE’S A SLIGHT PAUSE IN HIS STEPS!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE’S SUPER EXPRESSIVE HERE GUYS

(...well, by lwj standards anyway)

And ooooh, wwx’s reaction is adorable!!

His eyes catch lwj’s gaze for half a second before they skitter down to the side as if seeing lwj in person (in his bedroom!!) is too much to take in all at once!

HE’S SO FLUSTERED?? HIS EYES ARE FLICKERING TO AND FRO TRYING TO LOOK AT ANYTHING BUT LWJ.

HE’S SO NERVOUS IT’S ADORABLE I CAN’T HANDLE IT

(i may have rewound to watch this scene 3x, DON’T JUDGE ME)

(there was so much happening! Lwj’s beautiful plush lips parted, wwx was acting cutely bashful)

(WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT, HUH? JUST WATCH IT ONCE AND MOVE ON?? I DON’T THINK SO)

And you know, jyl leads lwj like, right to wwx’s bedside and WATCHES ALL THIS GO DOWN

YOU KNOW SHE NOTICED ALL THESE THINGS TOO

I’M NOT A CRAZY PERSON HERE

Jyl: thank you, lwj! Without you, wwx would not have woken up so soon!

Jyl: you two go ahead and talk now

Jyl: i’ll just go tend to the other wounded

Jyl: and leave you both here ~all alone~

Jyl: in this bedroom

Jyl: with wwx just in his under-things

Jyl: still on his rumpled bed

Jyl: okay, byyyyeee~!

(LXC AND JYL NEED TO HANG OUT AND TALK ABOUT THEIR LITTLE BROTHERS AND HOW HOPELESS THEY ARE AROUND EACH OTHER)

(THIS IS A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN)

Okay, and now not only do we get MORE wangxian time, we also just get the most beautiful scene ever?? Like, aesthetically? THIS SHOW IS A BLESSING

Lwj is playing his guqin in the communal area next to wwx

The music is gorgeous (it's the same Magic Music from before! it sounds like warm morning sunlight on a calm spring day)

And the set is beautiful, all reds and whites to match our boys’ colors, and it’s all emphasized with equally beautiful lighting

Wwx: lan zhan, actually, i--

Lwj: quiet. Concentrate.

Wwx POUTS and taps his nose and then SULKILY crosses his legs

HE’S THE MOST ADORABLE BOY IN THE WORLD AND I LOVE HIM

IF LWJ WOULDN’T MURDER ME IMMEDIATELY, I’D GO AND PROPOSE TO WWX RIGHT NOW

ACTUALLY I’D PROBABLY DO IT ANYWAY

I’VE LIVED A GOOD LIFE, I PROBABLY WON’T ACCOMPLISH MUCH ELSE WITH IT. IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Ahem

Back to the utterly breathtaking wangxian scene

No seriously, EVERYTHING IS SO GORGEOUS?

ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL SHOTS

THE CLOSE UP ON THE FLOWERS

THE UNFOCUSED SHOTS THROUGH THE HANGING SCREENS

THE LIGHTING THE COLORS THE MUSIC

LWJ IN HIS PHENOMENAL WHITE OUTFIT AND WWX IN HIS INDECENT RED ROBES

IT ALL ADDS UP TO THIS SYRUPY DREAMY SCENE THAT’S JUST, UGH, DRIPPING WITH TENDERNESS AND ROMANCE

IT’S TOO MUCH IT’S TOO MUCH

Okay, i’m done geeking out over the aesthetics

Oh, wwx is breaking his meditation pose and flexing his wrists excitedly!

Wwx: lan zhan, i’m all better now!

Lwj stops playing and calmly makes his way to the bed where wei ying is and checks him

Lwj: three more days are needed

Wwx does not like this answer lol. He leaps up from the bed all affronted

Wwx: but i’m totally fine now, look! *starts flexing his arms around*

Lwj is not budging on this tho

Lwj: exorcise evil, ease the mind. Do not be neglectful

Wwx: exorcise evil? I don’t need an exorcism!! I just used too much energy

Cue awkward silence (lwj’s eyes never waver from wwx tho)

Lwj: wei ying (you know, i think he just likes saying his name...)

Wwx: lan zhan, do you really think that Plot Device 2 is evil? Do you really believe there’s an undetectable something that can change someone from good to evil?

Ooooh, wwx is getting all philosophical on us!!

His brow is all furrowed here; he’s hurt that lwj doesn’t trust him with Plot Device 2!

And that’s the end of that MOST DELICIOUS SLICE WANGXIAN PIE

Other stuff happens

Screaming, the murder of innocent people, sect leaders debating on said murder of innocent people

You know, boring stuff.

There was a fun bit here tho

Nmj: maybe it’s okay to kill innocent civilians…

Lxc: *sad face*

Nmj: uh, maybe we can NOT kill defenseless people this time?

Ahhh, if only lan zhan’s sad face was effective on wei ying as lxc’s is to nmj…

Plot plot plot Jgs being an asshole Plot plot plot

MORE plot plotty plot plot

OH NO

WE’RE ON A CLIFF IN NIGHTLESS CITY

THAT CLIFF WE DON’T LIKE

THAT REALLY REALLY HORRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD CLIFF

AND WWX IS STANDING CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF IT GET AWAY FROM THERE WWX, GET AWAY RIGHT NOW

And now lwj joins him

Wwx: lan zhan, what do you think of the people here? Who is good, who is evil?

Yeesh, getting right into the heavy stuff aren’t we

Like, nbd, i’m just gonna compLETELY CHANGE YOUR WORLDVIEW AND TEACH YOU SHADES OF GRAY (AGAIN)

Oooh, but as he says that, he starts clutching at his chest and swaying on his feet! Bc the resentful energy is hurting him!!!

Lwj grabs his arm to steady him

Lwj: wei ying, concentrate

Great, it’s about to get real hurt-y now

Lwj: wei ying, do you want to learn how to play Magic Music?

Wwx: lan zhan, you want me to learn that? Do you doubt me, too?

And the way he says it!! It’s a tone that says “please don’t let this be true”

BUT LWJ LOOKS AWAY AND FLASHBACKS TO WHAT WRH WAS RANTING ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EP

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT LWJ. WHY.

So instead of answering wwx, he just questions him on why he made Plot Device 2???

THAT IS THE WRONG APPROACH LWJ

THAT WILL NOT GET YOU WHAT YOU REALLY WANT

Wwx: lan zhan, if i told you i got a Screaming Sword of Resentment from the Murder Turtle would you believe me?

Lwj keeps answering questions with questions and the whole convo is devolving horribly

Lwj: if you already knew the sword had Plot Device stuff in it, why did you refine it?

Wwx: LAN ZHAN, ENOUGH

he snaps at lwj

he raised his voice at lwj

Lwj: you promised you’d let me help you (he says calmly)

Wwx: if you don’t believe in me, how can you help me?

OUCH

Lwj: Plot device 2 isn’t safe, you might lose control!

Wwx: you’re scared i’ll be like wen ruohan, but i’m not him! And Plot Device 2 is not the same as Plot Device!

And then before we can get too emotional about our soulmate boys being at odds (AGAIN), we get to witness the murder of innocent people

How fun

Jin Zixun shows us he’s scum of the earth by trying to shoot down a Wen mother carrying her child as she flees

Thank goodness lwj guqin’s the arrow away

There’s a confrontation but lwj doesn’t let wwx tear into jin zixun even tHO HE CLEARLY DESERVES IT

And everyone leaves but not before wwx comments that there’s gonna be a lot of resentment here where the innocents were killed and that the place needed Magic Music

Oh, turns out lwj didn’t leave

Lwj stays at the scene of the crime and plays Magic Music on his guqin.

As soon as wwx hears it, he starts playing counterpoint on his flute!

I love it when they play music together, Magic or not!!

We cut away here to watch lxc, nmj, and jgy become Official Bros™

BORING

Now Jgs and jgy are hosting a banquet

STILL BORING

Political posturing happens

SO BORING

Wait, something interesting just happened!

We see lwj just up and leave the banquet the moment he realizes wwx isn’t there

Bc wwx is out on the steps getting drunk

(wwx, we’ve talked about this. Drinking is not a Solution)

Wwx: lan zhan, it’s you! How about playing some Magic Music? (I'm detecting some sarcasm…)

Lwj: i’m learning a new score

Wwx: *scoffs* you haven’t given up yet? You’re really stubborn *mocking snort*

STOP BEING MEAN, WWX

That’s the last bit of wangxiantics we have for this episode

JYL GAVE US SUCH A GREAT MOMENT AND WE ENDED UP AT ODDS AGAIN

IT’S A WHOLE "ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK" SITUATION

I DON’T LIKE IT

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

78 notes · View notes

springday-aus · 4 years

Text

Disney Prince!AU with Wonho [Hoseok]

★ Wonho [Lee Hoseok] as Disney’s Hercules ★

moodboard link

Group: Monsta X

Member: Lee Wonho / Hoseok

Genre: fluff, romance

part of the Disney Prince series

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: 1.9k

born a demigod

son of Zeus and a mortal mother

he absolutely adores his mother

he’s not ashamed to say he’s a mama’s boy

on the other hand, he doesn’t really like to talk about his father

especially since he has these powers

the power of physical strength….

he’s not sure if they’re a good thing or a bad thing

like, sure he likes that he can help the elders carry stuff

you know, like their animals when they’ve broken a leg

or moving their houses to more convenient places

the whole village loves him bc they literally saw him grow up as a kid

he turned out so well for someone without a father

don’t be fooled—he can literally physically crush you like a grape, but he’s literally the sweetest boy

anyways

he’s been living normally

despite the whole ability to rip off a 100 year old tree

and lift up a wall

or a house

or a 200 pound horse

his life has been fairly normal up until the incident

one day, when Hoseok was about 16 years old

a couple of kids were stuck underneath a rock

okay, an understatement

it was a huge ass boulder

anyways

these kids were stuck underneath and Hoseok lifted it to let the kids out

since that day, the elders called him Wonho

meaning a brave lion, the protector of the village

since that day, he’s been doing around helping others a bit more

he started putting himself out there to help people

it was small but these tasks got gradually bigger

it started from saving kids

to fighting against monsters

to saving the entire universe (but that’s another story)

next thing he knew the entire village was calling him a hero

there were statues made of his figure

his face was slapped on e v e r y t h i n g

the gods made a star alignment for his stature

he became one of the most famous faces

some just like to call him a Greek god that fell from the heavens

he still blushes every time someone calls him that

the ladies swoon the hardest when he’s on his Pegasus high in the sky

and the light shines oh so perfectly to emphasize his perfect, chiseled face

geez this man is very attractive and he doesn’t even know it

moving on

it’s important to remember that he did not get to this position alone

he was able to train with/under Hyunwoo

Wonho wanted to understand how he can be a better hero

to protect the ones he loves

and those in the community

he is such a good boy, I want to cry

anyways

he heard about how Hyunwoo trains heroes the best so he made his way over and

here he is

even after completing his training, he continues to work on himself

so if he can’t sleep or when people don’t need help

he would be in the gymnasium to work out

or he’d be doing practice training in an abandoned field that Hyunwoo had set up

as he got older, all he really does is help people and train to be better at what he’s doing

since he’s been helping out, the chaos has decreased significantly and he finds himself wandering elsewhere for adventure

this is how he meets you

I mean, you wouldn’t say you were in danger

but also, you were in the woods and you didn’t know this one all that well

and you may or may not have ended up messing with this lake monster that you def shouldn’t have been messing with

so there you are

in the middle of a lake

being held hostage by some

ugly troll ass, centaur thing

(tbh, you couldn’t really tell what he was, a river guardian???)

I literally mean held btw

you were literally in this creep’s hand bc he’s the size of a giant

so Wonho was walking around the forest with Pegasus, trying to find a new place and see if anyone needed his help

and very faintly he hears something from the distance

“if you don’t put me down, I swear to cut off your balls and rip off your—”

oo he didn’t wanna hear that

but he still rushes towards it

that’s when he spots you in this monster’s hand, struggling to get out

he slowly approaches you two

Wonho: “uh, excuse me? sir? could you, um, let them go?”

you speak up first, without taking two glances at him

You: “keep moving junior, I can handle this—have a nice day”

you flash him a sarcastic smile, hoping he’ll move along with his day

but he doesn’t

instead his shoulders kind of drop for a second, slightly disheartened, but only for a second

because he stands up straighter and pulls out his sword

Wonho: “you might be too close to his situation—I’m sorry to do this without your consent, but I have to do my job”

before anyone can say anything else, Wonho dives in and does what he does best

he fights off the bad guy

next thing you knew, you fell into the water and it’s all a blur

you fished yourself out, trying to dry off

Wonho managed to punch the living daylights out of the river guardian so he was just passed out and drowning in the river

but who cares about him

after Wonho ensures he’s not dead, but unconscious

(and Pegasus does his little cheer for him)

he moves over to you

Wonho: “..... hey”

You: “hi”

Wonho: “are you okay?”

You: “after getting all the water out of my ears, I’ve decided that I’ve been better”

Wonho: “sorry… about that—it was kind of stupid, I should have thought that out better”

You: “you think?”

you eye him up and down as you try to dry off your shoes

You: “they give you a name with those rippling pectorals?”

Wonho flushes, laughing rather awkwardly

Wonho: “they call me Wonho, but you can just call me Hoseok…”

you look at him again

he turns into a deeper shade of red under your eyes

You: “I prefer Wonder Boy”

he lets out another small laugh

Wonho: “what’s—what’s your name?”

you give him yours, as you wring out the bottom of your shirt into the water

he repeats it, with a small smile on his face

Wonho: “soooo, how’d you get mixed up with the—”

you finish for him

You: “the pinhead with hooves?”

he lets a little laugh out

it’s kind of cute

You: “well, you know how men are, they think no means yes and get lost means take me, I’m yours”

you let out an airy laugh as Wonho stands there confused

You: “don’t worry about it, Wonder Boy, you’ll figure it out eventually”

you stand up, ignoring the water that continues to drip down

You: “well, Seok, thanks for the help, but I gotta bounce”

Wonho: “ah…”

he can’t really hide his disappointment: “where—where are you going?”

You: “oh, you know, here and there”

you flash a smile at him: “I’ll see you around”

Wonho: “how?”

You: “life has its ways… bye bye Wonder Boy”

you walk off and disappear into the woods

Wonho finds himself still looking off, even as your figure disappears

Pegasus huffs at him, almost mockingly at how mesmerized he is at your presence

he turns to Pegasus and points a finger at him, as if he’s scolding him

Wonho: “not a word”

he continues to go on and eventually stumbles into a little town

…. your little town :)

obviously he didn’t realize

until he saw you again about a week later

you were hanging around a fruit stand that belonged to your friend’s

you looked just as beautiful as he remembers

and less angry

Wonho: “hey” :)

You: “Wonder Boy, back to me so soon, miss me that much?”

Wonho: “yeah, I did”

you didn’t expect him to be so straightforward

You: “so, you’re just hanging around town?”

Wonho: “it’s kind of like that”

You: “I heard some hero killed the monstrous lion, I should’ve realized it was you Wonder Boy”

Wonho: “ahhh…”

he flushes once again, rubbing the back of his neck

Wonho: “I—I’m no hero”

You: “sure you are, just remember, you are in a new town, take a break while you can”

You: “I will warn you though, it’s hard to find pretty sights in this dump”

Wonho: “I don’t think it’ll be that hard…. not without a guide at least…”

you look at him with a raised eyebrow

Wonho: “tHAt’S iF yoU wANT…. yoU don’T hAVE TO….”

you let out a laugh as he continues to flush into a darker red

he’s a cute boy, might as well shoot your shot

you wave to your friend as a silent goodbye and slowly start to walk off

without looking behind you, you shout out

You: “you coming, Wonder Boy?”

Wonho snaps out of his daydream that’s right in front of him

Wonho: “yes ma’am”

and thus the start of a beautiful relationship

Disney Prince!Wonho is as wonderful as it sounds

he already adores the life out of you

and he basically worships the ground you walk on

(as if you were the one with Greek god genes)

you, on the other hand, think he’s like a little puppy

a puppy that can kill you with his strength

but a puppy

he loves praise

he needs attention

he loves affection

he’s basically a soft, gigantic puppy

this view kind of changed when you saw him in action

I mean you did see him in action that one time

but his life wasn’t really in danger

and lowkey he looks hot fighting

but like….

when he killed the Stymphalian Birds…

when he captured the cattle of Geryon….

I guess you kind of drew the line when you saw Cerberus on your front lawn

(he’s absolutely more adorable than people said, but it is still a three headed giant dog)

you were just concerned for him and the danger he was putting himself in

and Wonho kind of ate that shit up

but he did console you

he became a lot more careful to consider your feelings

that did mean more official training with Hyunwoo

but anything to make you happy

anyways

most of the time, he stays to help the village

the elderly and kiddos there have grown to love him

I mean what’s not to love but

anyways

sometimes he does have to travel a bit farther for the king or something

but he always brings back some type of souvenir for you

he loves to spoil you

when he went to the Amazon, you got the most gorgeous flowers

another time, he brought some golden apples for you

he says it’s to make up the time away from you

and your heart absolutely melted

his presence makes up for it

he’s great okay

anyways

so you know how Pegasus is like his sidekick?

you two bonded

he’s not sure how but

Wonho loves that you and Pegasus get along

but y’all bonded a bit too much

like you two won’t say anything but it’ll be on your faces when you’re judging him

moving on

you haven’t stopped calling him Wonder Boy

some days he prefers it

others, he prefers it when you call him Seok

so, affection

this man needs it

whenever he’s in the same space as you

he’s like touch

it’s not like you’re gonna reject it

even if you roll your eyes, you always run into his arms

when he gets back from his trips

he doesn’t let you go for days

**cue you two waddling around because he’s backhugging you**

humor—while most of yours is dry

he still laughs and goes with it

he tells jokes unknowingly

like some of the stuff he says is ridiculous

and you just burst out laughing

you two are just very attuned with one another

very harmonious

very cute

Wonho: “when I’m with you, I don’t feel so alone”

You: “good thing you’re stuck with me then”

Wonho: “I wouldn’t have it any other way”

48 notes · View notes

ddaenggtan · 5 years

Text

amae | jhs

amae - japanese. the way you act when you want to depend on another person. relying on someone’s goodwill and love to help you. frequently thought of as wanting to be loved and taken care of.

when someone new moves in next door, you don’t expect to become friends. everyone on your block was friendly, yes, but none of you gave more than a courteous wave when you spotted each other in passing. that changes with jung hoseok; a literature professor with sunlight gleaming out of every pore, who enjoys complex lectures, random coffee trips, and…sleeping in your hammock? curiosity gets the better of you as you befriend him, but just what could have this man sleeping in your garden hammock every night?

pairing | jung hoseok x reader

genre/warnings | neighbor!hobi, writer!reader, pure cotton candy fluff, this may actually rot your teeth

word count | 6.7k | cross posted to ao3

a/n | ahaha this did end up shorter than give and take, bc it felt very right to end it where i did!!! there’s a lot of flower language used in this, bc i’m the ultimate slut for flower language, i think it’s the cutest shit i’ve ever seen. i also tried to make this MC different than g.a.t’s, pls tell me if i failed!!!! i want them all to be v distinguishable and independent and unique, and i love feedback!!!!

The moving van in front of the neighbor's house shocks you when you get up that morning. There had been a For Sale sign hanging in the yard for upwards of a year, and you've watched with mild amusement as the price continued to drop.

A favorite hobby of yours is coming up with creative reasons the realtor was more and more desperate to sell the house. Your favorite so far was that the adorable plump woman had to sell it soon, or her wife would run off with their girlfriend in the night, never to be seen again. Until Minri did get it sold, that is, upon which her wife and girlfriend would return and they would live in bliss.

Minri was, in actuality, very nice, and you doubt you should be entertaining such thoughts about her. She'd sold you your own house, after all; a lovely little three-bedroom, with a wonderful yard for your garden and your friends' dogs. Minri had even managed it at a great price, though she had emphasized the cleanliness of the place and the nearby churches, which was a little odd. You owed her for it, no matter how peculiar she had been during the viewing.

Well not really, she got a very nice commission from the sale, but it's the principle of the thing.

You scavenge one of the dry erase markers from the drawer and make a note on your fridge to bake her cookies sometime soon. Your mother would have a fit if she saw you writing straight on your fridge, but it was erasable and easy and you are if nothing if not a simple girl.

You pull yourself from your musings and make another note to call your mother before she could get huffy that you haven't in a while, and toss the marker back into the drawer when you're done. You direct your attention back at the moving van, unsurprised when a gaggle of young-looking boys emerges from the neighboring house to start unloading. Well, it wouldn't be extremely fair to call them a gaggle, as there are only three of them, but the point stands. They seem to be very close, judging by the way they tease and play, and it makes you smile a little. It was long past time the neighborhood got some life in it. The closest people to your age are the couple three doors down, in their 50s and always willing to talk about their seven children. It got tiring.

With a soft sigh, you turn from the window at your sink and dismiss the flash of bright pink you see in the mirroring window from next door. None of the three you saw had pink hair, but you could have missed one. You slide your hand along the spine of your cat, Tuna, and smile as she wraps her tail around your wrist for a moment before chirping and jumping down from the counter. She follows as you make your way to your office, tucked into the smallest of the bedrooms because it gets the best light, and settle at your desk to return to your work. Novels don't write themselves, after all.

You aren’t sure which of the boys lives next door, but it becomes quickly clear that it’s only one of them. Several are over at all hours of the day, but by the time the sun goes down, there’s usually only one or two there. A variety of vehicles come and go, but only one is there often enough to be the owner's. You might think it was a gay couple, had you not heard the complaints about an uncomfortable sofa on your way to get your morning paper.

They’re a very respectful bunch, whoever they are. They keep things quiet after sunset, and wait for a reasonable hour to start their backyard morning exercises. The music they play is pleasant, if a bit loud as it drifts over to where you kneel in the dirt. The fence that separates your yard from his reaches your shoulder. A white-picket thing that surrounds each of the yards in the neighborhood, you've never cared much for it, and it keeps you from seeing anything notable as you tend your garden. Still, you catch snippets of conversation, bits of stories that you never get a conclusion to, jokes with a punchline that’s carried off by the wind.

For the most part, though, you catch names; Jungkook, Jimin, Seokjin, different variants of each, but the one you hear most often is Hobi. His name rings out constantly, gliding through the air on notes of both mirth and vitriol. It’s usually accompanied by a laugh that makes your heart warm in your chest, or some form of inhuman screech, though you’re not sure why. You’ve never seen enough to understand what happens at the house next door, nor have you actually met any of the people that come and go like leaves in the fall.

Still, you can’t deny your curiosity, and you tell yourself that if the opportunity presents itself, you’ll introduce yourself. Despite that decision, the opportunity never does seem to present itself. Weeks pass, and you find that you feel nervous at the thought of going and introducing yourself now. The window has passed, it would be too strange now, he would think you odd. So you keep to your own house, tending your flowers and your trees, writing your novel, and doing your level best to keep Tuna off of the manuscripts and letters sitting around that you have yet to organize. You’ve resigned yourself to the sad truth that you simply won’t get to know your neighbor, won’t be able to have that adorable friendship you’ve dreamed of, won’t even know which one it is that lives there.

The universe has always worked rather strangely for you, though, and it’s not long after your acceptance of this fact that you come out of your back door, gardening gloves in hand and already reaching for the misting hose, to find someone swaying in your hammock.

You’re not really mad, you don’t use it very often anyway and someone should. Mostly you’re curious - you always have been, and always will be, most likely. Curious as to why someone is in your hammock when most everyone on the block has their own lawn furniture, who that someone is, how they got into your yard. The bolt on the gate is nearly impossible to unlatch from the outside; you know, from the many times that you’ve locked yourself out and had to James Bond your way into your own house through the back window.

You set your gloves on your patio table - a white bistro set your mother gave you when you moved out - and make your way over to the stranger. He’s good-looking; feather-soft brown hair and oddly clear skin, drowning in a sweatshirt that was at least two sizes too big, snoring lightly as the wind rocked him.

“Hey,” You say. He doesn’t respond, and you frown. “Hey, dude, what are you doing?” Still no response. You huff and turn, eyeing the yard for something to help. You don’t want to shake him awake, that could prove dangerous if he swings out at you. Your eyes light up as they land on the hose, forgotten among the grass. You tromp over and pick it up, dragging it back over to where the hammock sways among the tree branches.

“I’m gonna spray you awake,” You say. You receive no reaction, not that you expected any, and shrug. With one pulse, a fine mist of water settles on him. The guy does, indeed, flail, swinging wildly in a futile attempt to fight the water raining down him. He sputters and wipes at his face, and you watch as he does.

“What the hell, who the fuck sprays someone with water when they're sleeping?” He asks, shaking out his now damp hair.

“In my defense, I told you I was going to do it. You were the one that was asleep and didn’t hear.” The man freezes at the sound of your voice, looking around your yard as if seeing it for the first time. He gives you a hesitant and apologetic grin, and the sun seems to grow brighter on his face.

“I’m so sorry, I did not mean to fall asleep in your yard, I swear. There was...it’s a long story, but it really was an accident.” He flips himself gracefully off the hammock, with practiced ease that makes you only a little jealous. You should learn to do that.

“It’s fine, you can sleep in the hammock. I only want to know how you got in my yard.”

“I vaulted the fence,” He says as if it was obvious. You look from him to the fence, and back again. “What? It’s not difficult.” You turn back to the fence, measuring it with your eyes. If he was able to vault it without much difficulty, how fast would he have to be going? He would surely need a good deal of momentum, of course, to be able to launch himself five feet up in the air. The only thing in your brain is that ‘ten-foot vertical leap’ meme, and you curse your best friend for sending you every meme he ever thinks is remotely amusing.

The sound of your name brings you back to the present, and you focus on the man once more. “That’s you, I’m assuming?” The man says. You nod and point to him, belatedly realizing that you still have the hose in your hand when he flinches.

“Which one are you?” You ask him. He gives you a confused look. “There are several people next door most of the time, which one are you? Jungkook, Jimin, Seokjin, or Hobi?”

“Hobi,” He says after a second, beaming at you as he does. Something in your chest starts to unfurl itself, and the sensation is strangely comforting. “But my name is actually Hoseok, they just call me Hobi. You’re welcome to as well, most do.”

“Right.” You watch him for a few more seconds as he shakes out his sweatshirt, water dusting the grass below him. “I have gardening to do. Please let me know the next time you want to sleep in the hammock.” You turn back to the flowers closest the fence, satisfied now that you’ve answered so many of your questions about your neighbor.

“You aren’t going to ask why I’m here?” His voice calls from behind you. You shrug, kneeling beside your white camellias and checking their soil and sprouts. They were starting to bloom and you needed to be careful to make sure they weren’t soaking up too much water. “So I can seriously sleep here whenever. I just have to tell you first?”

“That’s what I said,” You reply. You pause, thinking for a second, and turn to look at him. “Does this make us friends?” The beaming smile he wears is nearly blinding, and you find it very endearing that he is so wildly happy at such a small thing.

“It absolutely makes us friends,” He tells you. You return the smile, albeit yours is much less sunshine-y than his. He starts to walk toward the fence and you laugh under your breath.

“Hoseok, you can use the gate,” You tell him. He stops and looks between the gate and the fence for a second before laughing embarrassedly at himself. “Please refrain from vaulting the fence in the future, as well. I'll leave the gate unlatched for you from now on.”

Hoseok grins and waves as he jogs out the gate and to his own home. You don’t relax until you hear the click of his door shut. A soft mrow from your left has you moving to pet Tuna once more, and you beam at her.

“It’s been a long time since I had a friend, hasn’t it?”

You don't expect to see or hear much from Hoseok after your brief interaction. You've had friends before, of course, but they all tend to fade away as they have their own lives and you have deadlines. Even your closest friends, three boys you met in college and somehow kept around, don't message you as often when you're close to finishing your work; they know better than to expect a response when you have an editor breathing down your neck. You're used to it, used to people becoming immersed in their own problems and not wanting to share them, so you never get upset about it anymore. There's no use in it, not when you do the same thing.

You're so used to this that it surprises you when Hoseok waves at you one morning as you're both getting mail. Another day he's playing football with a couple of friends and shouts a quick greeting over the fence as you dip down to do your gardening. One memorable evening, you turn from shooing a raccoon away from your trash with a feather duster to see Hoseok watching from his driveway. You give him a polite smile and he shoots you a proud, yet puzzled, grin, and the next day when he sees you putting out small feeders near the back part of your yard for the raccoon, he just chuckles.

Not to mention that you still come outside most mornings to find him snoozing in your hammock, rocking in the gentle breeze and comfortable as can be. He's never given you any explanation, though to be fair, you also don't pry.

It's a struggle; you want so much to know why he doesn't sleep in his house that sits not ten feet away from yours. You don't want to push him, though, too scared of breaking this tentative friendship you've built over something so small.

Things only start to change the afternoon he knocks on your back door while you're getting lunch ready for Tuna. She yells as you set the food down in front of her - a special blend designed to help her hearing and her eyesight since she's predisposed to troubles with both - but she quiets soon enough. You step around her to open the door, and you're shocked at the expression on Hoseok's face.

He wears a smile now, but for a second...for a second, he had looked afraid.

Your name drops from his lips in a tone that tells you he didn't expect you to answer. "I was only wondering, do you, um…" He trails off and you wait patiently for him to finish the thought. "Do you want to get lunch? Coffee? Anything? I need to get out of the house for a while."

"Sure," You reply. "Let me get my wallet." You move to the entryway to grab the thing - old and falling apart but still useful - and when you return, Hoseok is standing exactly where you left him. You pat Tuna's head and exit, closing the door behind you before you turn to Hoseok with an expectant smile. "I'll drive?" You suggest, since he still seems somewhat jumpy, and he nods.

He's not quiet on the drive, by any means, but it amazes you how he says so much but so little all at once. By the time you get to the cafe he directed you to, you've heard all about the antics of his friends - Jimin, Jungkook, and Seokjin, who helped him move that day - and you've heard plenty about their time at school and his days spent as a literature professor at the local university, and yet that's the most you know about him. Fun anecdotes and the off-hand comment about a student. Definitely not a word about why he sleeps in your hammock, or why he showed up at your door out of nowhere and asked you to lunch with a look in eyes that you thought you'd only see from a rabbit caught in a hunter's snare.

Still, as curious as you are, you can't bring yourself to ask about it, because it's so obvious that he wants to talk about anything else.

"So, what do you do? I never see you leave for work when everyone else does, so I assume you work from home?" You nod in response to Hoseok's question.

"I do. I'm an author, so I spend quite a bit of time in my office. That's why I started gardening, actually, so that I was forced to be outside in the sun at least a little bit every day. Otherwise, I tend to nest in my office for days without leaving."

"That makes a lot of sense," He says as he sips at his coffee. "What do you write?"

"Horror." The shock on his face, like perhaps he heard you wrong, is one of your favorite things about telling people you write. He gazes at you, taking in the messy hair, overalls, daisy-covered shirt, and pink sandals. "Psychological horror, to be exact.”

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." You grin, much too amused with the entire conversation. You slide your phone out of your pocket and tap at it until you're at your official website. You slide it across for him to see, and he clicks through the pages. There are several - one for each series, one for your upcoming releases, an appearance schedule, and then a quick bio that features a picture of you and Tuna. When he slides the phone back across the table, he looks impressed, and it warms you.

"I had no idea that was you," he says. You can't help the knowing grin. "You seem a little...bright for the genre."

"The mind is a fascinating place, Hoseok. The darker parts are so often either overlooked entirely or exaggerated for dramatic purposes. I want to tell real stories about real things that can happen. There's no need for embellishment when very real, very terrible things happen every single day. Besides, you don't need to dress in all black and carry around a leather-bound copy of Stephen King to prove you're interested in horror." He hums across the table, and his look has turned almost calculating.

"I may have to read some of your work then."

"You might." You give him a serene smile and finish your coffee.

He's somehow friendlier after that. He initiates small conversations almost every day, outside your mailbox or hanging over the fence while you garden. He appears all but every other day on your doorstep, looking terrified but grinning as he asks you to go to coffee. You start to wonder if there's something chasing him that only he can see, but brush the thought off the same second you have it. You've become too deep into your latest book.

He does read your work, which surprised you; you'd never expected him to do so. You offer to lend him your copies, as you have one of each on a shelf in your office, but he steadfastly refuses. You talk about it over coffee, and though you shouldn't be surprised at the quick thinking and keen observations he makes, you are. As often as you interact with your readers at signings and readings and conventions, you've never been quite so invested in someone's thoughts before.

You're eager to know what he thinks of the most recent book he's read. You're curious as to what metaphors and symbolism he's picked up on, what foreshadowing has punched him in the gut with realization. If he would criticize the heavy-handed allegory you've created, or if praise would fall from his lips to slide across and settle in your chest.

It's been a very long time since you cared for someone's opinion like this, you realize one morning as you stare out your kitchen window. Butterflies form in your stomach and you sigh, content in the knowledge that there would be no running from this. You watch as Hoseok runs around his own backyard, laughing at something Jimin says. He's sweaty from the game they're playing, but the sunlight seems to absorb into his skin in a way you've not seen before, and it looks like he's glowing. His smile lights up the sunset, and you can hear his laugh from here, and you want nothing more than to wrap yourself up in the sound.

No, you decide, there would be no running from these feelings, only acceptance of the blossoming fondness inside your heart. You turn from the window as Hoseok laughs again, spotting an empty section of your garden as you do, right beside the eye-catching red tulips. It makes you frown, as you can't remember there being an empty section there before.

You make a note on your fridge to pick up some pink camellias next time you're at the garden center to fill it. Your reminder to call your mother stares back at you and frown at it for a solid minute before you pick up the phone. As it rings, you resign yourself to yet another conversation with your mother about why you're not married with a real career yet.

"Have you had dinner yet?"

You look up from the weeds in your grasp to see Hoseok leaning across your fence and beaming at you.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Hoseok repeats at your obvious confusion. "I ordered delivery and saw you out here and I thought I should offer to share. Since you've been so kind in sharing your lovely hammock and free time, I want to repay the favor."

"Oh. No, I haven't eaten yet." You stand and dust the dirt off your gloves before sliding them off. Hoseok grins and hands two large bags over the fence to you. You take them, curious, and watch as he pulls himself up and over the fence. He’s careful not to step on your flowers, but he still gives an apologetic smile as you sigh. "The gate is right there, Hobi."

He winks as he rights himself and takes one of the bags. "It's faster like this." You laugh and slide your gloves off with care, not wanting to drop the food, and hang them on the fence beside you. Hoseok is already halfway to your back door and waves at Tuna where she waits on your dining table.

"Oh, Hoseok, don't-" He's opened the door before you can finish your sentence, and a small black and tan fluff darts out. The dog circles him, yipping at his toes and running back and forth between the two of you. Hoseok looks startled, but a smile spreads across his face after a moment. "I'm sorry, I'm dogsitting for my friend while he's out of town."

Hoseok coos at the dog and leads him back inside, luring him along with a small bit of meat. You laugh as you follow, sliding a hand down Tuna's back as you shut the door behind you.

"He's adorable, I love him!" Hoseok exclaims, laughing again as he sets the food on the counter. He looks at you and gestures to the piece of meat in his hand, and you nod to let him know it's fine. Yeontan takes it and follows Hobi around as he starts getting plates and utensils, the fact that he knows where they are is a testament to how often he's at your house.

The two of you eat in relative silence. Tuna bathes languidly atop her cat tower and Yeontan sits between you and Hoseok, his entire body shaking back and forth as his tail wags. Every so often, Hoseok will comment about his day, as he usually does when the two of you eat together, and he asks about yours. You tell him about the new flowers you've planted - some gorgeous white lilies that should bloom well. He tells you about his theories and opinions on the last book of yours he'd read.

By the time you're finished eating, he has several new thoughts and notes jotted down in a hasty scrawl on a napkin. He's insightful with his questions, bringing up points you hadn't considered and opinions on continuity that you need to clarify in the future. Your heart flutters in your chest when he smiles, bouncing Yeontan in his lap.

"I do think they're good, though," He says as he makes kissy faces at the dog. "Like, good good. If I ever teach a psychological horror class, I may use them. Students could learn a lot from the dedication to detail."

"Thanks, Hobi," You tell him, and you don't bother to hide the fond smile. The fluttering in your chest is familiar at this point, and it makes you sigh a little.

You're so smitten, you think as you watch him bounce Yeontan on his knee; you should, perhaps, feel more conflicted about your growing emotions. And yet, you've been accepting of it since you first met him. It was as if the second you met Hoseok, you knew you would fall for him. How could you not, with his charm and warmth and humor and the unbearable mystique he left in his wake each time you spoke to him?

"Oh, that reminds me, I have something for you!" You stand and head outside for a mere moment, grabbing what you need in a flash. When you return, Yeontan is on his belly beside Hoseok, Tuna glaring at both of them with envy. You set the pot in front of him, and he blinks at it, bewildered.

"Is this...?"

"Tulips!" You say with a grin. The yellow blossoms stand proud as he gapes, and you like to imagine that they're proud they look so good for him. "To brighten up your house. You always seem so interested them, and I had several extra seedlings this year, so I grew one for you."

The look on Hoseok's face is unreadable and he's silent for a long while as he looks at the flowers. You wait; you've seen the way he looks at your garden while the two of you talk over the fence, you've seen the way that he eyes the tulips as you weed them. You know it's a good gift, and you scream the reminder inside your chest to drown out the voice in the back of your head saying otherwise. It's worth the wait when his face splits into the biggest smile you've ever seen, radiant and bright. It almost seems to surround him, a halo of joy that feels like a summer sun.

"I absolutely love it," He tells you. "It's gorgeous, I'm going to make sure everyone can see it." He stands, potted flowers cradled in both hands like a babe, and gives Yeontan one last kiss. "I should be going anyway, I have a class in the morning, but I need to make sure I find the perfect place for these." He beams at you again, and you return his grin.

"It's nothing, Hobi," You say, walking him to the front door and opening it for him. "Consider it a housewarming gift." He beams as he makes his way across to his own house, and the way he's already cooing at the buds and talking to it have your emotions a mess.

It's been months since you first went to coffee with Hoseok. The two of you are, you would say, friends. You've definitely graduated from neighbors, and you spend more time together than acquaintances, but it feels strange to call him your friend when what you feel is so much more than that.

Every time you see him, it only gets worse. More than once, you wished time would stand still if only to keep him with you a little longer. Being around him feels like standing in a meadow of daffodils in the noon sun, heat seeping into your skin and painting the world with its oranges and yellows while the breeze whispers a promise in your ear as it rolls through you.

You wish you could bottle the feeling.

You make a note on your fridge - 'bottling emotions for capitalistic gain - too obvious? trite? overused? must consider further' - and set out a treat for Tuna. She's grumpy, likely because you've yet again woken at four in the morning and disrupted her usual bed - your face - with your need for a bathroom and a snack.

You haven't slept much that week, too busy polishing the last few press releases and comments that had to be perfect before release. You'd finally done the last of the work and had checked the mail and done your gardening before you received Joy's email saying you were good to go back into hibernation until the next book was due.

You took the hint and proceeded to pass out at around five that evening. You needed the sleep, clearly; you can't remember the last time you slept so long without even getting up to pee. Still, you muse as you munch on a week-old granola bar your mother left on her last visit, you're glad that you've gotten the book done. You're always relieved when you finish writing one, these days. In the beginning, you would wait anxiously until publication finished and the book was on the shelves. Joy had to pull you out of your rabbit hole several times, too consumed with what people were saying to even bother with anything else.

That was before Tuna, of course, and the garden.

Now, you were content seeing whatever happened your way. You didn't much care for professional reviews anymore; they were nice but they weren't as honest. The random people who stumbled onto Twitter in the early hours of the morning because they'd just turned the last page were much more genuine. There were always those that criticized you, of course, but you contented yourself with the knowledge that they never had to read your books if they didn't want to. Others enjoyed them, and that was what mattered. The ones who read them and then couldn't sleep, either for need to express their thoughts to someone before they could rest or because they were too on edge, too anxious, the ones who saw danger in every mundane shadow of their bedroom after putting your book down, those were the ones who mattered to you.

A bang startles you out of your thoughts, and you share a look with Tuna. Her fur is raised, tail straight up as she looks to your front door. You follow her gaze and see nothing, which isn't unusual. Tuna regularly communes with whatever shadow monsters exist in that parallel plane of existence only cats can see. It's not typical, however, for you to be able to hear said shadow monsters.

You pad your way to the front door, sliding one of the hardcovers that had arrived the day before into your hand as you do, in case one of the shadow monsters tried something. Another bang echoes throughout your house, followed by a series of quick, desperate knocks. Deciding that no respectable shadow monster would knock before murdering you, you open the door to see Hoseok, panicked and sweating and panting. He looks as surprised as you feel.

"Um…" is all he says for a minute, and you wait. "I didn't expect you to answer, honestly, I just. You weren't around earlier so I didn't want to use the hammock, and it's getting kind of chilly, and so I tried to sleep in the house, but it's gotten worse and I was doing alright but then it started making these noises? So I tried to get it to stop with some things I found online but that only made it all worse, and then it seemed like things were gonna shoot around the room, so I-"

"Hoseok," You interrupt. He stops, fixing wide eyes on you. "Context." "My house is being haunted by some kind of demon monster and I think it's going to try to kill me and I would really appreciate your help in exorcising it." You blink, but the grave expression on his face doesn't change. It takes a second for your brain to fit that particular frame around the puzzle that Hoseok has been - sleeping in the hammock, random coffee trips where he's jittery and on edge, the minute you go to leave the cafe, the terrified look in his eyes whenever he comes over or sparks a conversation out of nowhere.

"Okay," You say, sliding the book under your arm and closing the door behind you. Hoseok looks taken aback at the idea that you're actually going to help him, but he hesitantly follows as you head across the front yard to his own front door.

The house is quiet when you enter, the shadows of still-yet-to-be-unpacked boxes dancing on the walls as you turn the overhead light on. He's lived in the house for months and yet it seems only the bare necessities have been unpacked; it should surprise you more, but considering the fact that he's spent all that time believing there's a ghost haunting him, you aren't surprised.

Your first walk through the house doesn't seem to trigger anything. It's completely silent, eerily still, and yet Hoseok seems to jump at every creak of a floorboard, ready to run at every twisting shadow that shies away from the light.

"Is there a ghost here?" You eventually call into the living room, and Hoseok curses at the soft thud that echoes. Your eyes narrow, darting around the space. "I asked a question. Don't be rude, it's very inconsiderate of you." There's a couple of other thuds eyes track them around the room. "If you don't stop, I'm going to start performing an exorcism, and then who's going to regret being impolite?"

Hoseok hisses your name, but you ignore him, instead of focusing on the way the lamp in the corner wobbles ever so slightly. Hoseok clearly also notices this, inching towards the door once more.

"Hoseok said you were talking to him. Am I not good enough?" There's a pause, and then a warbled voice reverberates through the room, eerie and lingering, which only cements your theory. You turn to Hoseok and lower your voice, barely even whispering. You're so close that your lips brush his ear as you ask him where the entrance to his attic is. He leads you to it, stepping softly and avoiding the creaky floorboards as you do.

It's harder to be quiet as he pulls the trapdoor down, stairs sliding along with it, but at this point, you don't need to be. You ascend first, Hoseok following close behind. He no longer looks afraid, merely curious, and you're glad for it. It's a pity that he's felt so alienated from his own house.

There are several squeaking sounds as you turn on your phone flashlight and showing Hoseok exactly what has been haunting him: a pink-haired young man and his blonde friend, both scrambling for cover amidst the sleeping bag and snack wrappers that litter the floor of the attic.

You stand aside as Hoseok chases them out, cursing about mice and sleep and ungrateful friends as he does. When Jungkook and Jimin are both gone, laughing so hard they can't run, you show Hoseok the boots they used to stomp around, the nearly-invisible fishing line threaded down and around various lamps and paintings, the radio hookup they used to change their voices.

"It's all stuff I've used in books before," You tell him as he pours a cups of coffee for you both. "Also, I could hear them laughing."

"I feel like an idiot for waking you up for this. And for sleeping in a hammock and getting chased out of my house for something so stupid." He runs a hand through his hair and the fondness in your chest grows. He doesn’t look at you, instead staring at the potted tulips sitting in his kitchen window. It mirrors your own, and you’ve caught yourself staring more than once from your own kitchen.

"There are worse things,” you say.

"Oh?"

"Mhm. I could've not had a hammock." The small grin he gives has you melting, and you want nothing more than to wrap him in a hug and kiss away the line between his brows.

“You have a point," He says with a small laugh. "It is a really comfortable hammock. I almost don't want to go back to my bed."

"So don't," You say, voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest. The tone in his voice feels new, feels good, like perhaps he's standing in that meadow of daffodils with you, and it gives you hope. "You're always welcome to use the hammock. As I said, someone should, otherwise it's going to hang there, all sad and lonely."

He looks shocked to hear that, though you aren't sure why. It isn't like you've been very secretive of the way he makes you feel; but then, you haven't been outright vocal, either. And he did think he was being haunted for the better part of four months, without realizing it was two of his friends living in his attic.

"You're welcome to come over whenever, Hobi," You tell him. "You don't need to be chased out by a ghost to talk to me."

"I don't want to interrupt your work," He says. His voice is hesitant and sweet and it reminds you of the orange blossoms you used to plant with your grandmother.

"I'm actually finished with my book," You tell him. He makes a questioning noise, and you remember the hardcover tucked under your arm and set it on the counter. "This is actually for you." He steps closer to look it over and flips it around to look at the back as well.

"I can't take your only copy," He starts but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

"I have one for me," You say. Your voice is firm, unaffected by the rolling of your stomach, but it's quieter than usual. "That's yours. I wanted your opinion on it if it lives up to the hype. We talked about the one right before this last week, and I'm curious if this one will answer any of your questions or if it leaves you with more. I've been trying some new things, and I'm not sure how well I executed them."

You choke the need to keep talking. Instead, you bite your tongue and return the look Hoseok is giving you; it's intense and full of something you can't place. But he's opened the book to the back, fingers resting lightly against the dedication bearing his name, thumb brushing the red carnation you'd pressed between the pages out of sheer impulse.

"You don't have to read it, of course," You eventually say.

"I'll need something to do while you garden, though," He says, stepping closer and letting the book fall closed. "I can't exactly lay in that hammock and watch you garden, can I?"

"If you wanted, you could." He's closer than he's ever been now, eyes focused on your lips even as he studies your face for any sign that you don't want him there. "I wouldn't mind."

When he finally presses his lips to yours, they're softer than you expected. Even his hands are soft as he slides them up to cup your jaw and press deeper, like gardenia blossoms against your skin, and everywhere he touches is warmed, as if the sun itself was dancing across you. It makes it hard to breathe, but god, at this point, you'd be fine with never breathing again so long as he kept kissing you.

It feels like hours when he finally pulls away, a shy smile painted pink with the sunrise, and it's breathtaking.

Later that day, you plant lilies, white and yellow intermixed in a pattern that your grandmother taught you, while Hoseok swings lazily in your hammock, one leg on the ground to rock himself. He spouts questions at you as he does, making little notes in the margins of each page as you respond, Tuna curled beside him and happily snoring.

You should plant more daffodils, you decide as you watch them.

#fic: amae #bts #bts fanfic #bts fluff #hoseok x reader #hoseok fluff #hobi x reader #jhope x reader #neighbor!hobi #neighbor hobi #neighbor hoseok #neighbor jhope #kpop fanfiction #reader insert #ddaenggtan #this is literally so much fluff #there is exactly zero (0) smut so im sorry if thats why u read it lmao #boyfriend!hoseok #soft hoseok

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