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jolenejolinb · 3 days
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firenati0n · 2 days
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wip wednesday <3 :)
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hello friends :) thank you to everyone for the tags over the last few weeks (i will tag back under the cut). <3 appreciate the shouts!
here is a snip from the doc i have affectionately named nolan!alex / murphy!henry fuck around and find out, the actor au...collaborators to friends to lovers to exes to enemies to grudging partners to friends to lovers YEEHAW! pls forgive any editing errors <3
Alex's eyes are hot as he blinks back tears, Henry's profile blurring and distorting. “Tu me manques, remember? You kept saying that and I kept going ‘Oh, he's so hot when he's speaking French’ like the idiot I am. But I looked it up and it's not just ‘I miss you’, is it? It’s fucking ‘you are absent from me’, like a piece of me belongs to you, a part of you that’s mine. Why would you—why the fuck would you whisper this to me so earnestly every time you think I can’t hear you, and then turn around and pull this shit? Are you embarrassed by us, by me? Is the piece of me you have not enough?” Henry stands in front of him, eyes a little distant and haunted, fingers flexing at his sides. His silence cuts Alex to the fucking core, lances through him and gets him square in his traitorous little heart. A fickle thing, love is. Will he ever be enough for someone? Alex steels himself to say the words he’s been holding back, the words that have been pushing up behind his teeth for months, making his gums ache and jaw tingle.  “I don’t want to be your dirty little secret, Henry. I deserve better. And I think you do, too. You just won’t allow yourself to see that, and it’s killing me.”
xoxo roop
+ no pressure tags under the cut and open tag as usual <3
@ninzied @priincebutt @suseagull04 @rmd-writes @leaves-of-laurelin
@eusuntgratie @bigassbowlingballhead @magicandarchery @getmehighonmagic @violetbaudelaire-quagmire
@cha-melodius @cricketnationrise @orchidscript @myheartalivewrites @dumbpeachjuice
@anchoredarchangel @sparklepocalypse @anincompletelist @nocoastposts @wordsofhoneydew
@tintagel-or-cockleshells @sherryvalli @lizzie-bennetdarcy @heysweetheart-writes @onward--upward
@celeritas2997 @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @happiness-of-the-pursuit @littlemisskittentoes
@14carrotghoul @cultofsappho @alasse9 @nontoxic-writes @kiwiana-writes
@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @piratefalls @ships-to-sail @indestructibleheart @mikibwrites
@porcelainmortal @captainjunglegym @itsmaybitheway @tailsbeth-writes @welcometololaland
@adreamareads @duchessdepolignaca03 @sophie1973 @onthewaytosomewhere @theprinceandagcd
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ghostiezone · 2 days
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"do you know how much i love you? do you know how important you are? not just to the undersea, to the elders, to the world, but to your sister? even if we're miles apart (again) i hope you can trust me to protect you. I would take on the entire world if it meant keeping you safe. even at the cost of everything. im sorry none of the adults in our life took proper care of you, i hope i was a somewhat adequate substitute. im sorry they were able to keep me from you, i should have fought harder. i won't make that mistake twice." >> Edyn Tidestrider writes a letter.
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sigmoon · 2 days
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1. 𝐿𝓊𝓍 𝐿𝒾𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓉𝒶𝓈 - A 'Lupus in Fabula' Oneshot
"Light and Liberty."
[23 years before the current events] When he's ten years old, Nikolai's ideology slowly begins to take shape and influence the way he views the world.
Starring: Nikolai Gogol
Words: 519
Author's note: This is the first of several oneshots for this AU, each one of them dealing with Nikolai's past instead of the present events.
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It was going to rain soon. 
The sun had long disappeared behind the dark wall of clouds inching closer, and the air was heavy and humid. 
Nikolai wiped away the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, only for new ones to seep through his pores.
His back was damp where he leaned against the tree behind him, but a soft breeze offered temporary relief from the suffocating heat, and Nikolai closed his eyes and imagined soaring high and freely along with the swallows flying in circles above him.
One of Nikolai’s hands found his braid, fidgeting with it. 
By now, the piece of hair had gotten matted, and he ought to cut it off entirely, as any attempt to untangle it was probably going to be futile. 
But he wanted to cherish it for the time being. His sister had braided it for him a while ago, similar to her own hairstyle, so they could match, and for everyone to know that they were two of a kind.
Nevertheless, their symbolized bond couldn’t withstand the influence that their parents had had on her. 
She used to be the one spending hours lying on her back in the unmowed grass of the backyard, watching the birds and listening to their songs, sharing her enthusiasm with her little brother. 
But not long ago, her priorities had taken a sharp turn, and Nikolai was left alone behind the imposing tree, day by day watching the shape of his sister’s silhouette gradually fade away where it had left behind an imprint in the tall grass.
Instead of imagining how it must feel to be one with the wind, to not be bound by gravity, she'd begun to obediently focus on what, according to their parents, really mattered in life.
As if overnight, her schedule was packed with more extracurriculars than Nikolai could keep track of, and the sole evidence that she was at home, was a ‘do not disturb’ sign on her door, which she only removed at night, when she finally took a break from studying. 
Nikolai failed to comprehend how she was able to smile and humbly accept the praise she was showered with whenever her hard work had paid off again, like a dog that successfully performed the tricks he’d learned, eager to receive a treat from its master, only to do it all over again.
He had a feeling that, if he didn’t make sure to put up a lot of resistance, they were going to want to condition him just like his sister, and he’d end up being a well-trained pet like her, slowly forgetting what filled his life with meaning and adapting their ideas of a fulfilled life. One that his family could be proud of. 
A ‘take a picture of it, frame it, and put it on the mantel’ kind of life.
Nikolai could feel his chest tighten as he spiraled deep into these thoughts. His skin felt sticky, and the humid air made it hard to breathe.
He looked up to the swallows above him, feeling as though their frantic chirping was meant to be a message just for him. 
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carooosa · 2 days
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Bound by You: Love is Power, Love is Weakness
Part 1: Exposure (rewrite)
Word count: 1.5k Rating: Explicit Pairing: Ascended Astarion x AFAB Resist Durge/Reader Warnings: 18+, exhibitionism, ear play, violence against an NPC AO3 link: Exposure
Summary: Astarion can exert his control/power as he maintains composure while fucking you, and while he may not be as strict with his council when doing so, the harshness behind his actions is still there. But when you torture him by making him moan in front of everyone who is beneath him? Not only will it show him weak, but it’ll show his weakness.
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It’s another boring day as a consort while you sit on your lover’s bare lap, slowly rolling your hips into him. Ever since the ascension, Astarion has refused to let you out of his sight for too long, always wanting to have some part of him touching you. It upset you, at first, having to sit in on all of the dreadful conferences and dull discussions. But as always, Astarion made sure that it was worth your time.
He’s droning on about some inaccuracies in recent reports he’s received and his fingers dig into your hips as the proprietor of the counting-house stumbles out an excuse. You can’t help but giggle when you picture the proprietor trembling as he tries to talk his way out of this mess. You remember his name being quite the joke as well, something like Sparkleboard or Glimmerbrook.
“Rakath Glitterbeard,” Astarion barks at the dwarf before berating him for his inadequacies. He shoots you a mischievous glance, confirming that he too is bored with this meeting, so much so that his mind had wandered into your own.
Of course the poor sod’s name was something ridiculous. If he was going to have a name as awful as that, he should just change it to Goldcoin or something similar. At least then it’d have relevance to his job.
Astarion pinches your hips in an attempt to stifle any laughter that may come out, and you yelp in surprise. You look at your lover and notice the slightest crinkle in the corner of his eyes. The ramblings from Rakath stop, and Astarion’s head snaps towards him. “Have you run out with excuses already, Glitterbeard? Or have you simply come to your senses and decide to own up to your shortcomings?” Astarion says with a growl.
You turn your head as well, excited to see what’s about to unfold. The dwarf readjusts his collar before clearing his throat, and the idiot decides to speak up against your Lord.
With the arrogance of a little kid, he says, “No, Lord Astarion, I just noticed that you seem to be preoccupied and thought I would wait until you regain focus.”
Astarion scoffs and you feel him grab onto your ass with one hand as he stands up and kicks back the chair he was sitting on. With his other hand, he pushes off all the paperwork that lay strewn about the desk. He sets you on the edge of the table before pushing you down so that your back is against the hardwood. He stares directly at that insufferable banker as he begins to thrust into you – hard.
“What was that about losing focus?” Astarion says with a crazed look in his eyes.
Rakath’s face turns bright red as he tries to stammer out a response, but it’s no use, as Astarion has already made up his mind.
“Silence. Pick up those documents and put them back on the table – in their correct order. After that, you will redo all of this week’s reports, as well as the last 4 month’s as well.” Astarion is interrupted by a noise of disapproval, his frustration reaching its highest point today. “I said silence. Perhaps you’ve forgotten how that tongue of yours works, shall I cut it out and show you?”
Rakath drops to the floor and begins frantically gathering the papers, all the while Astarion continues to slam into you with reckless abandon as he addresses the rest of the meeting attendees. 
“Do I need to remind everyone that you’re in the presence of the Vampire Ascendant? I am more powerful than you could possibly comprehend, yet you wager your lowly lives just to make some ridiculous point. I could replace you with the snap of my fingers and no one would even care. I keep you around because I couldn’t be damned to get rid of you – however, give me enough of a reason and I’ll put the dungeon to use.”
You weren’t sure exactly how or when it started, but whenever Astarion would get annoyed or pissed off during a meeting he would yank you closer and begin to fuck you, right there, in front of everyone. Somehow he was able to maintain composure as he catered to your needy whines, asserting his dominance over the room while he dominated you. He always took care of you, and one day, you got the brilliant idea to care for him in return.
You’re once again sat on your lover’s lap with his cock buried deep inside you. His nose is deep in a document, a contract with an architect from Neverwinter, and his shoulders are tensed. You delicately reach your hands behind his shoulders to start massaging the knots. He doesn’t acknowledge you save for a quick twitch in his ears, so you push harder, hoping to alleviate some of the stress the Vampire Lord must feel. Moving up to his neck, you meticulously knead every knot you find, humming a soft melody as each point of tension slowly comes undone. When you finish giving him a massage, one of your hands slightly brushes against his ear, causing a shutter to ripple through Astarion.
You quickly look at his face and notice his lips part, a silent moan leaving them. Interesting, you think to yourself, and you slowly reach out to stroke his ear.
You watch as Astarion gasps, eyes fluttering closed in contentment, the contract falling from his hands. He desperately tries to regain control by focusing on his breath. You caress the helix of his ear and his breathing hitches before a pleased sigh escapes his mouth and he leans into your touch. His hands move to your back to stabilize you as he begins to roll his hips, ever so slightly fucking you.
He looks so beautiful like this, you think to yourself. Astarion’s eyes are hooded when he opens them again, and if your heart was still beating, you’re positive it would’ve skipped a beat.
You can tell from his posture that he’s about to move your hand away, and the mind-link connection you share confirms that. The Vampire Ascendant has an image to upkeep, and he can’t show any vulnerability outside of the bed chambers. He starts to shift in his seat when suddenly, you take his ear lobe in your mouth. He mindlessly bucks his hips forward and grasps the armrests of his chair, splintering the wood. You nibble on the lobe, pressing and flicking your tongue against the soft skin.
He can vaguely see in his peripherals the guests from Neverwinter glance at each other and shift in their seats. One of them clears their throat and Astarion tries again to regain his poise but all he can think about is your lips on his ear. You roll your hips and gingerly reach out to his other ear, pinching and rubbing the tip. A quiet moan starts in the back of Astarion’s throat as you coo at him, telling him that he’s such a good lord, so strong, incredibly smart, your love. All the meeting attendants can do is watch as the Vampire Ascendant comes undone beneath your touch.
Astarion is panting as you whisper sweet nothings in between giving attention to his ears. You bite down on the flesh in your mouth – harsh enough to draw blood – and moan from the sweet ichor that flows into your body. The nobility that would usually cower at the mention of the vampire lord’s name now sit watching, unable to do anything in fear of retaliation. One of the younger nobles, the son of the architect, begins to slowly stroke his fingers against his strained trousers.
Within seconds, Astarion barks an order.
“Stop.”
You pause, concerned that you may have gone too far. Before you can ask if you did something wrong, you’re sat alone on the chair while Astarion is on his feet and holding the young man by his throat. He raises the boy above his head and dangles him above the table, his claws piercing into his flesh. The architect starts to get out of his seat but a nearby guest stops him.
“You fucking degenerate. How dare you please yourself while looking at my consort,” Astarion bellows.
The boy is unable to respond as blood fills his throat, causing him to suffocate. Astarion slowly closes his grip around his neck, watching as the architect’s son struggles to pull his nails out. The boy stops thrashing, the life drained from his eyes as his body goes limp.
Astarion continues to hold the corpse in the air as he addresses his room. “Leave. Now. And if so much as a word of today’s events is whispered outside of this room,” he pauses, throwing the body onto the table where the group congregates, “I will personally hunt each and every one of you.”
A few days later, a rumor silently spreads across Baldur’s Gate. Astarion, the unforgiving and merciless Vampire Ascendant, has a weakness. While many laugh and make jokes about how the powerful tyrant gets turned on with the touch of his ears, a resistance group takes note of his true weakness, and their key to his demise: you.
Part 2 Here
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oceansssblue · 1 day
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Pairing: Platonic Therapist Echo and Omega.
Theme: Hurt/Comfort
I don't have an exact sentence, but this happens after Season 3 Episode 8. Omega expresses that she endured worse on Kamino than on Tantiss. Much worse.
During a subsequent talk between Omega and Echo, Omega alludes to how dark, and horrific, her past on Kamino is.
I understand if you're unsure about doing this, but I would absolutely love it if you did.
Non romantic oneshots aren't really my thing, but this request did lit up interesting ideas in my head, so why not?
One angsty heartfelt conversation with these two sweethearts coming right up, & some comfort too!
Hope it is what you imagined!
Xx,
Sky.
"QUIET NIGHTS"
TBB REQUESTS –NON ROMANTIC ECHO&OMEGA 📩💔💖
WARNINGS: REFERENCES TO DARKNESS, LONELINESS, KAMINO&TANTISS&ECHO'S TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. TECH LIVES BECAUSE I SAY SO.
It was one of those quiet nights. Crosshair was out on a date. Tech had dissapeared with Phee hours ago; Hunter had quickly retired to his bunk after experiencing a strong migraine, and Wrecker was sound asleep too. However, Omega couldn't find her own sleep; and quickly taking a glance at his brother's room, he saw that Echo couldn't either.
Her naked toes quietly advanced in the direction of the cockpit. There he was; Echo sitting in the copilot's seat and staring distractedly through the window, out to the stars on Pabu's peacefull night. By the expression on his face, Omega knew his mind felt anything but that; Echo's frown transforming his features into something painfull. She wondered if he was having nightmares too.
"Bad memories?" She quietly asked, jumping onto the pilot seat besides him.
Echo sighed, still staring at the stars.
"Yeah" was his only quiet answer, and Omega gave him time.
She thought on her own nightmares for several minutes; trying to reorganize her thoughts.
"Are you having trouble sleeping after Tantiss?" Echo then asks, finally turning in his chair to pay her undivided attention.
Omega shrugs.
"Kinda".
Echo's features fill with sympathy.
"Must have been horrible, being trapped in there" Echo shudders, remembering his own experiences with closed spaces.
To his surprise, Omega shrugs again.
"Not really" she answers, strangely unbothered. "I mean, it's not like I wanted to be there... But I've had it much worse".
Echo stares at her, and Omega feels like she needs to explain herself. Her feet come up to rest on the edge of the seat, chin resting on top of her knees. She's unconsciously making herself small.
"Kamino. That was worse than everything".
Silence fills the room.
Echo frowns. He had had his own fair of bad experiences with the long-necks and the way he and his brothers were treated; but that being worse than being on Imperial control?
"How so?" He carefully asks.
Omega's answer breaks his heart.
"Loneliness. My days in Kamino were dark and challenging; same in Tantiss. But at least while staying in Tantiss I knew I had you, even if you weren't there. In Kamino, before I met you all..." she pauses and flinches with the memories of her past. "I didn't have that. Didn't have the knowledge that you'd be waiting for me, looking for me. That I had someone on my side. That someone cared. That I wasn't alone. In Tantiss I remembered all the happy memories I had with you all. It gave me hope. In Kamino... It was terryfying being so alone".
Omega hadn't meant to say as much; but once she had started talking, the words had flied out of her mouth. Echo's patient and listens carefully; eyes filling with understanding and left hand slowly extending towards her. When it lands on her shoulder and squeezes gently, Omega relaxes and sighs. Her big eyes turn back towards him.
"Did you..." she hesitates. "Did you feel alone when you were with the Techno Union, Echo? Or you... didn't feel anything at all?"
Echo's experience has always been a banned theme of conversation in the Marauder; but Omega asks with no malice, almost begging for someone to understand her, and Echo feels like she's revealed so much of her own feelings and thoughts he kinda owes it to her. He loves her sister so much... If sharing trauma will make her feel better and help her process her memories best, he'd tell her anything she asked for.
"I did, yeah" the tremble that breaks througj his body at remembering is inevitable. "I wasn't conscious all the time, but in the middle of the dizzyness and confussion, i remember being scared and terrified. I didn't understand what was happening most of the time. Sometimes I did. I just wanted to go back to my brothers, out of that... Thing, to be freed. To be me. Loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world, yes."
It somehow soothes some internal part of him, speaking it out loud. Maybe this conversation will serve them both good.
Omega reaches out and mimicks his previous gesture; squeezing his shoulder gently.
"I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Echo. I'm so happy I have all of you now..." her voice is soft and reverent.
Sadness dissappears from Echo's eyes. He looks at her; at how her features have morphed from a kid's to a teenager and then continued changing to a young woman. They're lucky to have her.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that too, Meg" he answers, quietly, gently.
He gives her a small smile, and stands up offering his hand to her.
"How about we both try to nap together, troublemaker?"
Omega smiles. It feels him with warmth.
"Alright" she agrees, slipping her hand onto his and walking with him in the direction of the bunk room. "A pair of hours is better than none. Cross won't be happy we invade his bed for the night, though".
Echo snorts.
"The motherfucker still complains about his perfectly comfortable bed when he's well aware I still sleep in a hammock" he mutters, then grins at her. "He'll be alright".
THE END.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Pretty short but I didn't feel the need to expand it longer. Feelings everyonee. Hope you liked it!
Xx,
Sky.
PS. cryptic pregnancy w Hunter coming up next!
Back to my main masterlist here:
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(might be OOC, I'm mostly venting)
"Weren't you paying attention? How could you let that slip?"
"I-I don't know!" Peter, helpless, tries to explain as clearly as he can with the exhaustion ruling over him. "I didn't realize it until--"
"Jesus, kid, you could've gotten seriously hurt!" Tony argues. Peter only feels more overwhelmed. "At this point you can't just half-ass this! Like, you really half-assed this, you're a smart kid but sometimes--" (I doubt it, Peter internally completes).
"I GET IT, OKAY?!" The teen explodes. "I KNOW I messed up! You don't have to rub it in my goddamn face!"
His words shakes the walls and even DUM-E trembles.
Tony looks shocked. "Kid--"
Peter groans and aggressively returns to his desk. "I'll fix this stupid..." he mutters, because some part of him knows that's the best thing to do.
He can sense his mentor watching him.
Tony tries, "Kid."
Peter ignores him.
"Peter, look at me."
No can do.
Tony inhales angrily, then he approaches and tries to take the Spider-Man suit away from him, except Peter is quick enough not to let that happen. Some of the tools fall on the floor. The noise is deafening.
"Peter," Tony scolds more seriously. "Give me the suit."
"Or what? You're going to LEAVE me again?" Peter bites. "You're just going to disappear and remind me that you don't give a SHIT about me, RIGHT?!"
"Peter--"
"Yeah, well, I don't need you! I never needed you to begin with! And I certainly didn't need you when THAT WAREHOUSE DROPPED ON ME!"
Somewhere, the glass cracks. Or maybe it's Peter's mask finally breaking apart.
The true horror in Tony's face...
And the water leaking through Peter's eyes...
The boy throws his suit on the floor with all the strength he has, and he runs away as his sobs can no longer be repressed.
Peter can hear Tony calling for him. But he doesn't look back. He locks himself in his room. And Peter, covering his mouth, finally cries after what felt like forever.
He replays the whole thing in his head and it sickens him. Peter hates himself so goddamn much.
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rexsterss · 2 days
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lilyofthevalleyys · 2 days
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summary:
Sirius gets accused of vandalism
He doesn’t really care, because:
1. He really needs a smoke
2. The officer interrogating him is hot
3. Said officer has a cigarette
wolfstar one shot ⭐️
(sirius is a criminal lol (kind of))
link: Smoke Signals
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tunastime · 2 days
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Restful Dreaming, Mr. Freelancer
hi everyone :3 so um. I may have gotten very much into rvb smiles. and you know what happens when I really love something! and when I really love some guys from a something! yeap. here we go again. I just think caboose could be friends with everyone. I'm a caboose enjoyer what can I say. I love him.
Washington follows the Blue Team back to Valhalla, where he tries to get some much needed rest. Emphasis on tries. (3828 words)
When Tucker and Caboose find the unused, fourth room in the base, it’s Tucker that sweeps his arm out and gestures grandly to the room around them. It’s not very large—bed, closet, table, desk, bathroom. Enough space to walk around in—enough blue-white light to make sure nobody goes insane in somewhere so dark. Caboose goes on about how they’re almost neighbors, listing off what they could do being so close, gossip and sleepovers and the like, and Tucker goes on about how that’s nice, Caboose, and sure thing, buddy, and both speak to a Wash that’s not listening. He’s looking over the room, filtering in through a fine layer of yellow, just enough to change the hue from cool to warm, and something settles in the slope of his shoulders. He turns after a beat, folding his arms.
“You’re certain I can stay here?” he asks. Tucker shrugs.
“Yeah, I mean…” he starts, in the way that Tucker always seemed to do when he was on the edge of a decision that ultimately made him uncomfortable. “Just repaying the favor. Plus you’re the only one who really knows how to get Church outta that thing.”
“Epsilon,” Wash corrects. “And it’s a memory unit, not a thing.”
“Sure,” Tucker shrugs. “Whatever.”
“We still don’t know where that thing is,” Wash says, but it’s without any of the usual bored sting he might’ve normally laid on. He can feel the worry in the room like water around the ankles, like it invaded his boots. He steps side to side for a moment, trying to shake the feeling.
“We’ll find it!” Caboose pipes up, nodding several times. “We’ll find Church. I know we will.”
Wash sighs. 
“Yeah,” he says. “I hope so.”
There’s a beat of silence. Wash feels his lungs work against the tight feeling in his shoulders all the way up until the point where Caboose breaks the silence.
“I’m going to go make lunch,” he says. “I’m starving.”
“Good point, Caboose,” Tucker agrees. He turns to Wash as he adds: “You, uh, let us know if you need anything. You’ve got the tour, now, so…”
Wash nods.
“Right,” he manages. “Thanks.”
“Sure thing.”
The silence leftover is mostly full of the sound of air circulating through the room and pulling into his helmet. Washington stands in the room in that long moment, finding his head spinning just enough to rock his balance. He’s not so sure he should even be standing, but Tucker had handed him enough med-kits to keep him running, and his bones felt mostly in place, despite some nasty bruising up his shoulder and back, all the way down his right hip and thigh and knee. He pulls himself from his stuck spot, finally gathering the strength to unlatch his helmet. Both thumbs hook under his chin until it clicks, and he sets it in the armor stand. 
The thing about the armor is that they’re not necessarily supposed to take it off. It does come off, huge chunks of titanium alloy perfectly compressed to fit each wearer, to sit comfortably against layers of computer arrays and magnetic fasteners, bolts and straps and sealers. As soon as he starts pulling, chest pieces and arm braces come loose, and he sheds the exosuit slowly. Underneath is the cool-black bodysuit. That’s the part that really shouldn’t come off. It did, every once in a while, when there was enough time to spend recalibrating, readjusting, resyncing. The suit and all its layers, down to the skin, down to the channel of his spine, from tailbone to nape of neck, aligned with sensors and biocomponents along a fine, white scar to a thick, but equally healed one at the base of his skull, took time to adjust to. That time was precious.
But it didn’t matter with this suit. There was no connection. The suit would simply communicate without having to know, would respond to forces it knew best, and rely on what he had without a physical, grounding connection. He was free of it. The scar and its components would fade from his body. They’d be nothing but a memory.
Carefully, Wash dissects the titanium bodysuit—kevlar—coming apart at the seam, carefully fastened, skin-tight. It’s uncomfortable at first, adjusting to the air of the base, without the suit’s micro-adjustments for temperature and humidity, but he eventually shirks free and places everything in the armor compartment. 
He feels light. He also feels exposed and a little small. He searches for any sort of replacement, sleeping clothes, uniforms, anything plastered with UNSC across the arm or chest or back. When he does find it, he’s quick to pull it on and over his head. The shirt falls crooked across him, pants similarly too large, and he has to wonder what sort of Spartan these were made for, knowing how he certainly wasn’t the smallest soldier he’d met. It’s something, though, and he doubts he’ll be wearing it for very long. In fact, he finds himself tugging it off as soon as he figures out the shower, and douses himself in hot water long enough to get the plastic smell off his skin. 
Without the shadow of the day, his reflection in the mirror takes on a sunken quality. His eyes are dark and tired, lines stretching out underneath them, and the already-pale, now-bony quality of his face does little to hide it. He’s turned all sharp angles all too quickly. But if he’s got anyone to bitch to it would be himself. Well, maybe Caboose and Tucker would listen. But they probably wouldn’t understand. Epsilon might’ve ratted out his bad sleeping habits to Caboose, were he still around to actually see them. But he very well was half the reason they existed, so, touche. 
Besides, now Wash was looking out on a bed that was impossibly too big for him. He pulls back far too many layers of blankets and pushes aside pillows and makes himself a space between it all.
The lights are dim, casting long, fine shadows in the cool light. They dim further to a blackness as he settles, lying back in the few pillows and pulling still-starchy sheets around him. His tired body all but sinks into the mattress, body aching at every joint from overuse, begging to stay and to be comforted. It's there he lies for a moment, adjusting to weight and pressure, air and texture around him. He sighs. It’s the longest exhale in what feels like a very long time. The back of his throat, up through his nose, starts to burn. 
He squeezes his eyes shut. He takes a sharp breath in.
Washington’s hands come up on instinct, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes as he fights back a sound from deep in his chest. It’s hard—it feels so stupid to call this hard, because he could just crack, just for a second. Just for a moment of relief, and—he does, shutting his eyes tight still and willing in a breath through his nose as he turns his face into pillows that he hopes were nobody else's and probably never were and never would be again. Nobody knows he’s alive. Not Command, not Project Freelancer, not the Meta—Maine. Not even Epsilon. For now. The weight of his shoulders was so instant it nearly winded him, on a bed seemingly too large. It was simply him, unshackled, and the blue-white armor in its case, and Caboose, and Tucker. And the base around him was quiet.. 
Washington lets his body relax. Sleep comes like a heavy blanket.
His second week’s worth of sleep doesn’t go as well. Tonight, Wash is still awake. It’s not of his own choice—if it were he’d already be asleep, curled into the plush pillows and firm mattress. He stares up at the ceiling. His eyes are dry, and it’s not all that comfortable to blink, actually. He’d prefer to focus on sinking into this nice bed, but he’s having a bit of a hard time. What he means by nice bed is that he’s gotten so used to sleeping on the ground or in the back seat of a moving Warthog or the jet or his cot so folded and unfolded that it stopped being comfortable, or the bunk that was just the right size but not nearly deep enough to fit him without moving, that having actual room to move around is really good. It’s really good, actually, and he’s not sure when the last time he had such a nice sleep was. 
He’s not even sure when he woke up that first day, aside from the fact that it was Caboose waking him up and it was still dark out—or had just gotten that way. Maybe he’d slept that whole day. But he wandered around the Valhalla base instead, swallowing down the ache low in his spine. He mapped the rooms in his head, twisting around the circular hallways. Kitchen, armory, five rooms, garage, a small central living quarters that remained barren and empty, aside from bits of broken computers, radios, and robot parts. The floor still smelled like cleaner, remnant from the UNSC’s thorough cleaning.
Anyway—he’s still awake in his own room. His eyes hurt. He’s looking into the dark grey ceiling and wondering if sleep might crawl its way back to him when there’s a knock on the door. There’s a brief pause before it happens again. He frowns, scrubbing at his eyes as his brain fights the fog settling over it.
“Agent Washington,” a voice says, feigning a whisper through the sliding door. 
“Caboose?” he whispers back, furrowing his eyebrows. Isn’t it late? He looks over to the bedside table, reading the dull red numbers on the clock—yeah. Late. “What are you still doing up?”
He hears Caboose sigh. If he thinks hard enough he can imagine him leaning against the metal frame, cheek pressed against the door, looking about as pathetic as he sounds.
“I can’t sleep,” he says, part tired and almost part sad. 
“Why’s that?”
“I—” Caboose lowers his voice even further. “I had a nightmare.”
Wash blinks slowly, sitting up, eyebrows still furrowed as he frowns. He counts himself lucky that his head isn’t spinning from lying down too much. Sighing, he presses his fingers to his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them, trying to make the blurry room come back into focus.
“You—” he tsks as he words jumble in his brain, hazy with sleep. “Why did you come here?”
“Can I come sleep with you?” Caboose asks, completely ignoring the previous question. Heels of the hands to his eye sockets. Alright. Fine. He waves uselessly at the door, knowing full well Caboose can’t see him. Then it clicks in his brain: response. Right.
When Wash goes to give him an answer, it’s replaced by the sound of his bedroom door sliding open and shut and Caboose wandering in. The muddled dark obscures his silhouette more than usual and the normally wide slope of his shoulders was much more drawn in than Wash was expecting. He’s partially shrouded by his own blanket, wrapped around him as he steps in. 
Wash feels something rolling around in  chest as he watches Caboose shuffle over, like his brain isn’t absorbing the situation properly. He mostly just feels lost. He’s still sitting up, slouched forward, mouth a fine line. His arms pool in his lap, head tilted just so as he observes Caboose in front of him. This is weird, right? Not in a bad way. It’s just weird. 
Caboose stands there, frowning just a little bit, enough to almost be a pout, mostly looking at the bedside and not at Washington.
“I—” Wash starts, trying to protest. Caboose looks up at him for a moment with wide, brown eyes, and Wash feels his chest tighten. He shuts his eyes, sighing out of his nose. Then he pulls the covers back, gesturing vaguely to the space next to him as he lies back down. If there was one thing he’d learned from Caboose, it was that there was no arguing a point once he’d made his mind up. He was as stubborn as he was strong, and the man wasn’t slight. 
There’s a beat of silence as Washington gets comfortable again against the mattress again, feeling Caboose move to his left. He worms around a bit, knee bumping the outside of Wash’s leg, elbows knocking together as Caboose makes more of Wash’s bed his own space. With Caboose’s arm now pinning his own, he clears his throat.
“Caboose,” he says firmly.
“Washington,” Caboose says, like his name holds the same weight as it did so long ago. At least someone’s impressed.
He sighs. Caboose is a heavy, warm weight against his side, and although he clings to his left arm like his life might depend on it, Washington couldn’t necessarily call it bad. 
“You can either get comfortable,” he says slowly. “Or I’m going to ask you to leave.”
“Okay,” Caboose says quickly, wriggling further over. As his head lolls, it falls against the bone of the high of Wash’s shoulder. He ends up curled up in the space Wash’s side leaves open, head on his shoulder and arm over his ribcage. He’s heavy, holding himself and Wash to the mattress as he relaxes. Wash’s arm ends up pinned under him, bendable at the elbow, enough to shift around and find a comfortable spot to rest it. Caboose manages to pull the blankets over them both haphazardly, lying part on him and part over Washington’s torso. He squeezes his eyes shut. Caboose cannot be serious. This can’t be his solution, right? He takes a long breath in. Caboose finally says:
“Thank you, Washington,” in a soft and sleepy voice mostly muffled by his shoulder.
Washington sighs.
“Sure, Caboose,” he says, resigned. “Glad I could help.”
Caboose hums, sounding comfortable. In the time it takes for Caboose to finally knock out, how short of a time that was, Wash finally relaxes. He lets the weight around him settle him on the mattress, tired and heavy, and lets his eyes close. He can’t catch the edge of sleep just yet, but he can lay here, quiet and still, so that Caboose can sleep. He matches the slow rise and fall of Caboose’s shoulders, feeling his muscles slacken as he drifts off. Maybe it’s nice, actually. The weight against his side, pressure to the muscles that ache, warmth and heavy comfort. He can’t remember the last time someone shared the same bed space as him—those bunks were too small to really fall asleep next to somebody in, and sleeping in shifts wasn’t the same as someone sleeping against you. 
He can faintly feel where Caboose’s cheek is crushed against his shoulder, where his arm rests over his chest, hand tucked against his other side. When he looks over, Caboose’s eyes have shut, face relaxed in sleep. There, he leans, pressing his cheek to the top of Caboose’s head, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe it is nice. Maybe being needed for something so innocent as comfort could be nice. His chest twists, something as painful as it is warm weaseling up next to his lungs. 
It reminds him of Invention. Nobody really wanted to leave York alone after the accident on the training room floor. He could fall or trip, he could miscalculate and hit into something harder than expected. They spent time crammed into the bunk spaces, shoulders to shoulders, to hips, to legs over knees, trying to catch sleep in between missions, how little time that was. Washington found himself in these moments more often than not, and now more than ever it seemed that touch was a thing not often disseminated. But he had it now, and he let himself have it. He let Caboose snore into the hollow of his shoulder and tuned it out as he tried to rest.
In the morning he’ll ask him what bothered him so much that he couldn’t sleep, or why he thought Wash could help. It wasn’t important now. 
For now, he just tries to sleep.
Wash feels heavy. 
He blinks his eyes open, the world coming to in barely-there light and soft blankets. There’s a weight over him, warm and solid. Caboose still sleeps soundly even as Wash shifts to stretch pins and needles from his left arm. The world stays still, held in a quiet balance. In it, Caboose breathes slowly and evenly against his shoulder, torso still haphazardly thrown across Wash’s chest. He’s curled his hand in a loose fist, snagging part of Wash’s shirt. 
Washington sighs. There lingers a heavy, groggy feeling over his mind that he thinks he’ll have a hard time shaking, remnants of running too hard, too fast without stopping. He fought so hard only to again come up empty handed, aside from the now-bitter taste of his freedom. But for now he focuses on this moment. He rests his cheek against the top of Caboose’s head. 
As he does, Caboose hums, waking enough to tense and relax again.
“Good morning, Caboose,” Wash manages tiredly, lying still. Caboose doesn’t move either, except to shift his cheek to a more comfortable position.
“Hello, Washington,” Caboose says, slow and sleep-thick but cheery. “You let me stay!”
Wash huffs out something, maybe a laugh and maybe a sigh.
“You’re surprised?” Wash asks, staring at the ceiling. It takes a minute for Caboose to answer, and in that time, Wash’s eyes shut, too heavy to hold open. Caboose draws his arm back from his chest.
“Tucker’s not very cuddly,” he says, only partially answering the question. “I can’t really judge if people will like it.”
“I take it not many do?” He asks. Caboose shrugs, somewhat stilted, speaking in that long, sighing way that he does.
“It varies.”
Wash hums.
“Right.”
In a beat of silence, Caboose unravels himself. He sits up, swaying a bit, shuffling around. It leaves a cold hollow where he used to lie, and Wash pulls his arm back from where it used to curl around him. He folds his hands over his sternum as Caboose sits up and shifts back.
“How did you sleep!” He asks, leaning forward, arms resting on his knees. Wash nods, finally blinking his eyes open.
“It was fine,” he says slowly. “How did you sleep?”
Caboose shrugs again.
“I slept okay—” he says. “You scared off all my bad dreams I think.”
Wash snorts, furrowing his eyebrows. Caboose blinks down at him with wide eyes. It’s almost catlike, the way he watches over him, like he’s waiting for Wash to reach out and force him to move out of his space. He’s still slightly blurry, courtesy of the sleep in Wash’s eyes.
“I did?” Wash asks. Caboose nods, looking sincere
“Yep.”
Wash looks away, huffing out. Something turns in his chest, warmly at that.
“Well that’s good,” he says. Caboose nods again. He’s just far enough away that in the dim lighting Washington can’t really read his face, but it seems soft and comfortable and Wash tries to remember if that’s a good thing. There’s only so many times you see someone’s face while being out in the field that you sort of just learn reactions based on tone and less on body language. After a beat, Wash says, haltingly, brain trying to find the words:
“Caboose, what… what is it that you had a nightmare about? What—why did you come to me?”
Caboose shrugs, waving his hands back and forth. He’s not looking at him.
“Oh, you know, just about Church and Epsilon, and Tex, and you, and everyone dying and exploding and dying again,” he sighs, shoulders falling, looking distinctly less bothered than Wash expects him to be. It puts something cold-to-cool in the pit of his stomach. “But it’s okay, you’re still here! And nightmares are afraid of you.”
Wash swallows.
“Oh,” he says lamely. It doesn’t feel right, all of a sudden, to just be sitting here. Caboose tilts his head at him.
“Did you have a nightmare, Agent Washington?” he asks, leaning forward a bit. He squints at him. Wash stares back, eyes wide. “You look kinda pale.”
“Um, no,” he says plainly. “No I don’t… normally dream.”
“Oh,” Caboose says. His face drops. “That sounds sad.”
Wash shakes his head.
“It’s fine.”
Caboose hums, tapping his hands on his knees.
“You can tell me if you ever have a nightmare,” he says, smiling, a pleased look crossing his face. “I can come and scare it away.”
Wash snorts, a smile creeping onto his face. He folds his hands together, tracing out the edge of his thumb with his other thumb. He furrows his eyebrows as he looks up at Caboose.
“Are you looking for an excuse to sleep next to someone?” He asks, a curious lilt to his voice. Caboose blinks, eyes falling to his hands. He shrugs.
“No…” he says. Then, “Maybe.”
“Well it…” Wash sighs, shutting his eyes again. “It was nice. Thank you, Caboose.”
“Mhm,” Caboose says sleepily.
There’s a moment of silence. Wash moves to get more comfortable, shifting back to rest his head properly on the pillows. He can feel his body sag as he does, that tired tug pulling on his shoulders and hips and eyes. He drums his fingers against his sternum, watching Caboose. Caboose’s eyes slip shut for a moment as he leans hand against his hand. 
“I’m uh…going to try to get some more sleep,” he finally manages, clearing his throat. Caboose stays still, as if he’s fallen asleep again, shoulders weakly rising and falling as he breathes. “Caboose?”
There’s no answer. Caboose leans sideways as Wash goes to reach for him, folding like he’d lost all his core stability. As he crumples, he falls forward, half onto Wash in front of him, half into the bed itself.
“Caboose,” Wash tries again. Caboose doesn’t move, sinking further into his side.
Wash sighs. Caboose stays, solid and heavy and thrown over his chest. He feels like a little kid again, sharing a room with his sisters, or he feels like it’s some time back in training, both cats making their home on his chest. Caboose was kind of like a cat. If a cat were a dog, were late to the punch, were the same level as unable to catch the joke as he was. It was kind of sweet. Wash shifts him ever so slightly, until he’s leaning into his side again, head against his shoulder.
Caboose yawns, sighing out against his shoulder, shuffling to get comfortable. Wash curls his arm over his back, hand cupping around his shoulder, smoothing his thumb over the seam of his shirt. Caboose makes a little noise, a little sigh, and falls quiet. The world, too, is warm and quiet. Somewhere in that warmth, a soothing feeling washes over him.
Just a little more sleep, he thinks. Then he’ll get up.
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pocketknifeprayers · 3 days
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damage control
by cj pocketknifeprayers. 587 words. ao3 link
party was in one of their moods.
not the sad kind. wasn't the wouldnt-get-out-of-bed kind, or quiet-'cept-for-waxing-poetic-about-death-and-hopelessness kind. instead it was the kind that scared kobra a lil more, the one where they snapped at little things 'n spoke too fast 'n the things they said just didn't make too much sense. self sacrificial 'n balls to the wall energy.
he could tell when they were gettin' like this. a certain tone in their voice. on edge, almost. or sometimes jus' a type of confidence that pissed people off, arrogant 'n unlike themself. kobra didn't appreciate that becoming his sibling's reputation. it made him mad. that wasn't them in their right mind.
tonight their tone had an edge to it. he could hear them, talkin' too loud in their room, too fast, rambling 'n then laughing sharply at something they'd said. kobra could hear ghoul's responses, too. taken aback, quiet, listening. tired, too. it was late. he could picture the scene behind the thin wall he pressed his ear against. could picture poison pacing, or worked up 'bout somethin' grand, with ghoul assuming the role of damage-minimizer, worried 'til they came back down in a couple 'a days. (hopefully only 'a couple a days.)
kobra chewed at the skin on his lip as he listened, little pieces flakin' off from dehydration. he heard ghoul say somethin' inside, somethin' quiet that party didn't appreciate, 'n their attitude did a 180. their tone told kobra that they were sayin' something hurtful in return, berating ghoul, 'n kobra cringed to himself. fuckin' christ. he heard footsteps and quickly backed away from the door in time to be out of the way when it swung open, ghoul pushing his way past 'n out, swiping angrily at a tear streaming down his face. kobra made eye contact with a very pissed-off looking party poison inside through the opened door. their glare got even harder 'n kobra flinched when they slammed the door in his face.
ghoul was crying when kobra came in the room. he gingerly sat down next to him on the sagging mattress. stayed quiet 'til he wanted to talk. he did, eventually. all stuff kobra already knew. he coulda predicted what ghoul would say from the start. worry, fear for party's state 'a mind. they took offense to his suggestion that they weren't doing well. this was the best they'd ever felt, theyd said. they always said that when they got like this. clearer than ever. they knew their purpose. they wanted to die for it. wanted to feel it that deep. they couldn't see how not normal that was, ghoul cried, frustrated. how they couldn't see somethin' was wrong.
kobra worried too. was hard not to when your sibling, or in ghoul's case, your partner was sayin' this typa stuff. actin' this way. friggen concerning. they used to take meds for it, he remembered. things were bad when kobra was little. they acted all kinds of sideways, then the city put them on some medication. he didn't know whether he agreed with it or not. it took this violent up 'n down away from them but at what cost?
all 'a this started again with those pink and white pills, crushed under their boot on the sandy asphalt: a renunciation of the system the two of them left behind.
kobra made up his mind to talk about it with them when things had passed. til then, they were doing the best they could. all of them, poison included.
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crazywolf828 · 9 months
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To all my writers who have a tough time with smut terms and not knowing which ones to use, I have found the holy grail for us.
This reddit user, who I've recently found out is @kjscottwrites here on tumblr, took a poll of 3,500 people and went really in depth with asking their favorite terminology, along with actual pie charts on what the readers preferred to see in their smut.
Check out their post with the link to the Google doc here!
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reidiot · 10 months
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don't fucking interrupt me when i'm reading my x reader fics it's rude
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strawberrywinter4 · 30 days
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The fact people write fics that could very well be award winning novels is insane.
Like—they write this for FREE. FOR FREE.
You beautiful bastards, I love you.
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bi-slut-buck · 9 months
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How i read fics
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