I just want to tell everyone who's aromantic and gets squishes instead of crushes. A squish can have the same feelings as a crush, you can get nervous and get butterflies around your squish(butterflies in your stomach aren't a crush exclusive thing, I get them when I'm around extremely steep roads for instance).

There are two differentiators from a squish and a crush. The first one is what do you want with that person. Do you want to be friends with them, or do you want to be romantically involved with them? The former is a squish, the latter is a crush. The second one is that a squish usually goes away when you've become friends with that person or best friends, or whatever level of emotional intimacy you want with that person. A crush... doesn't? Or at least doesn't until you've finally reached the level of romantic involvement you want? As an aro person I'm not super familiar with crushes, please help me here.

So those are the differences, hope this helps someone.

Helloo iim wondering if anybody else has had this experience? Ive been feeling pretty jealous of people I'm squishing on having a partner already, but at the same time I don't want to date them? It feels like a partner is going to always come first so I get jealous :(. People always say that's a sign of romantic attraction but it's really not true in my case ToT

I've also had that experience! when my squishes have a romantic partner, get one, or express interest in one, I get this like "oh..." feeling because it's like a reminder that we aren't the same in that regard. I don't want to be that partner, but I do want to be a priority :/

at this point in my life I have friends who I'm confident wouldn't start ditching me for a partner, but for anyone who isn't them there's always that lingering wonder

I GET TO SEE MY SQUISH TOMORROW!!!!

💚🖤💜🖤💚🤍💜🖤💚🤍💜🖤

(I mean I see them everyday bc we go to the same school but it’s been over 24 hrs since the last time I saw her and I’m lonely now 😅)

Hi I'm a romance favorable aro and I'm too embarrassed to ask this to anyone else: but is there such thing to get a crush without feeling romantic attraction? Like I have the strong desire to be with one person in particular, and besides from feeling romance I have all of the "symptoms" of a crush but I don't know if that's possible... thoughts?

Valid as hell!! I actually get these sometimes :DD There's a couple terms for this, like alterous attraction and squishes!

please remember for all the resources these are people's personal experiences and yours can differ!

Alterous attraction is defined by AUREA as "An interest or desire for emotional closeness without necessarily being platonic and/or romantic"

"Alterous attraction" resources: here here here here here

Squish is defined by AUREA as either "The platonic equivalent of a crush", or "The equivalent of a crush for other types of attraction"

"Squish" resources: here here here here here

I also recommend taking a look through the AUREA glossary, specifically this section!

If you wanna hear some other experiences or advice, posting on forums (like arocalypse) or subreddits may be a good place to start

As for my own experience ↓

I once heard squishes described as really wanting to be someone's friend, but I occasionally get them on friends too. I actually relate to your description a lot, I feel all the telltale signs of a crush but labelling it as a crush or even just romantic feels wrong, like I'm describing it wrong.

They're also not synonymous with wanting a qpr with someone, as I never want to be in a relationship yet I still get squishes.

I tend to just want to be close with someone, they make me happy and I want to spend more time with them, but I never see them or want to see them as anything other than a friend.

That my experience :D yours could very well be different, but I thought hearing my thoughts on it could be helpful!

Sorry this took me a while to answer, but I hope this helped, and I hope I managed to point you in the right direction <3 feel free to send another ask or a message, I'm happy to help! 💙💚

Hey,

It’s pretty late at night and you’re probably asleep right now. I can’t stop thinking about you. I know that sounds weird, but I can’t stop thinking about how safe I feel with you, but I just don’t know how to communicate that. I love seeing you smile, and it’s so strange to not be able to picture it (because you know, aphantasia and all) but knowing I could pick your smile out of thousands. You’re so kind. You’re so considerate. I wish you knew how much I love you. I wish I had the courage to tell you.

I wish you knew how beautiful you are. Your energy radiates out like sunshine on a cloudy day and it makes everything seem not so bad.

You care about people. When you are passionate, it makes me want to listen to you talk for hours.

You feel like home.

I wish I wasn’t so scared of admitting how much I care for you. I guess I’m afraid of you not feeling the same way. It’s strange to feel so strongly towards someone, but it also feels right.

I hope you sleep well and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. I love you.

stereotypical highskool teenage luv "girl-crushes-on-someone-else-in-her-class" experience except the "girl" is nonbinary and aro and experiencing a major squish

Ok so I think I might be demiromantic of some sort but like, I don't really know anymore???

I went from allo to gray to fray to aro and now, because of that stupidly cute gal who happened to be my current best friend who I knew for like, five years but became friends with just like a year ago and I really like her and I want to hold her hand sometimes and idk I just kinda want to be with her in some way but I also don't? I don't really like "relationships", y'know? Like ugh idk how to properly explain it, I kinda HATE commitment cause while "dating" someone I feel trapped and tied to them like I can't really be fully myself around them and I feel obligated to do anything to please them... Does that make sense? I just want to be freely touchy and stuff in slightly romantic way but not in a relationship way or QPR way, just friends who are occasionally kissing, cuddling, go on cute dates, hold hands and call each others pet names, while not being committed in any way at all so like, if you eventually want to "quit" it's not even a big deal or anything, you just stop doing these things as if nothing changed and it's fine? Is that a thing? I kinda know some QPRs can be like this but being in one is still too much commitment to me, even if it's platonic not romantic. I'm confused. Is that a thing?

Just told my friend we had a squish on her, but it wasn't a crush because we're aroace and she was like. "Cool, and same on both fronts"

I'm so fucking happy y'all, is this what the allos feel when someone else reciprocates a crush? Cause this is fucking awesome.

For anyone who’s aspec and doesn’t know what term to use for someone they like because “I don’t know if it’s a crush or a squish or something else” then worry not and use my chosen term: POI which stands for Person Of Interest. It’s literally just someone you’re interested in in some way and I generally don’t specify which way I find them interesting because eh sometimes I don’t know and it’s easier to say POI. It also makes them sound like a murder suspect or something if you’re into that lol

I present to you, tumblr, the pique of my humour in the form of these homemade Aro and AroAce memes made at 1:13 am. Enjoy!

hey girl are you a romantic confession because. i do not want to listen to you

maybe i’m weird but i love pretending to have crushes on celebs or characters, i love calling them hot and giggling and kicking my feet even though i feel absolutely no sexual or romantic attraction towards them.

do you ever meet a new person and start feeling the beginnings of a squish, and you’re like really? now? I don’t have time for this

Normalize being madly in love (platonically) with your best friends (like me)

is it weird to not be interested in romance or sex, but like,,,,, really love my friends (platonically)???

like, i've always avoided romantic or sexual attraction, but i feel like the ways i display platonic love really seems like people might think it's romantic or something????

sorry if this doesn't make sense.

that's not weird at all! a lot of people experience platonic attraction. here are some words that might fit with your experiences:

squish- the platonic version of a crush; feeling strong platonic attraction towards someone, without any romantic or sexual feelings involved.

queer-platonic relationships- queer platonic relationships are committed relationships that aren't romantic. They may differ from usual friendships by having more explicit commitment, similar to a conventional romantic relationship.

ITS JUNE 1ST! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!

ITS PRIDE MONTH!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜