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harryhandstan · 4 years

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wonderful and warm

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I’m so excited to share this piece with y’all for @tbslenthusiast‘s dad-a-thon!! I’ve been debating whether or not to expand more on I Want Your Belly for a while now, so I’m considering this part two to that, though you don’t really have to read it first to understand this one. Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

thank you @peachybloomss and @tbslenthusiast for beta reading for me! love y’all both!!

word count: 2.6k

You had been adamant about not telling anybody for at least the first two months.

Your mom’s complications with each of her pregnancies prompted a fear in you that you might share in that gene she carried, so you just wanted to be sure. Make it to your first ultrasound at least to confirm the baby was happy and healthy. Harry, of course, had agreed to whatever it was you felt was best. He wanted you to be comfortable and truth is, all the complications or things that could go wrong, terrified him too.

But the second you put this man in front of a crowd, all his previous filters go out the window and it was slipping from his lips easily, telling the world that you were having his baby. You were angry at first, spending half of the show trying to calm your shaky hands. Honestly, most of it was just nervous energy at the idea of so many people knowing. It was out, and you had no control over the reactions of the millions of people that shared in loving your Harry. He was quick to remind you that you were the one he loved, no one else’s opinion mattered to him and it shouldn’t to you either.

Making such a public announcement meant the news reached your families ears a lot faster than you’d planned too, and you just didn’t want any of them to be hurt that they weren’t told first.

Anne is the first one to contact Harry from his side, promptly inviting you to dinner the following weekend with a small group of Harry’s family. But the closer you get to the day, the more anxious you are and he once again reminds you how much his family adores you already, would now love you even more.

“Even more than they love me now, probably,” He chuckles, taking your hand on the drive to his mother’s house, “Gonna be just like any Sunday dinner at Mum’s, innit? We just have something a little extra special t’celebrate now, lovie.”

Gemma answers the door to let the two of you in and she tugs you in for a hug, pulling you into the house without so much as a glance to her younger brother.

“Nice to see you too, Gem.” He follows the two of you inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Ignore him..someone’s just jealous they won’t be Mum’s favorite anymore.” She giggles, rolling her eyes as she leads you into the kitchen where Anne mimics her daughter’s greeting, scolding Harry playfully that he spoiled the surprise so soon.

By the end of the night, the two of them are already making predictions about what the baby will be, giving family name suggestions, and planning a baby shower for you.

Calling your family was a whole new level of anxiety you hadn’t experienced yet on this journey, and you paced back and forth in front of the desk where your iPad was already set up to FaceTime them. Harry sits on the foot of the bed, waiting for your nerves to settle enough to contact them.

“D’you want me to join you?” He doesn’t look at you, just continues to fiddle with one of the buttons on his shirt.

Your head pops up to where he sits, “Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugs, “S’just..sometimes I think you might still be a bit mad at me. For letting it slip earlier than we wanted. Thought you might wanna talk to them alone first..in case they’re upset with me too.”

“I was never really mad. And I don’t think they’ll be upset..just may take them a little longer to accept that I didn’t tell them before you told everyone. They may not have even seen it yet.”

That was a lie. Your sister had texted you last night saying that she was thrilled to soon have a niece or nephew, but your mom had cried for a two whole days after they saw a clip from the show and your dad refused to even talk about it. Your brother was normally so far out of the loop that you truly didn’t know if he had heard the news, so you make a mental note to call him later too.

You wouldn’t tell Harry any of that though, not now anyway. Maybe later, when everything didn’t feel so tense. You knew your family wouldn’t be upset forever, they loved Harry almost as much as you did. The joy of having a new baby added to the family would soon override any hurt they were feeling now.

“Harry, whatever they say..this is still happening. I’m still having your baby. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy that makes me.”

The smile he gives you makes your heart flutter, drawing you closer to sit next to him.

“Say that again.”

“What? How happy I am..”

“No, the part before that.”

A giggle works its way up through your chest, a deep blush flushing your cheeks, “I’m having your baby,” You can’t resist, the tune now stuck in your head, changing the lyric slightly to fit, “It’s none of their business.”

“What? S’your family, of course it’s their..oh, right.” He shares in your laughter, melting away any tension that had settled in the room, restoring your confidence that everything would be alright.

As many changes as your body had gone through during pregnancy, one thing that hadn’t changed was Harry’s love for your belly. His obsession had grown with each month, constantly finding reasons to be close to you throughout your days spent together. Usually it was a hand nudged gently against the side of your bump, trying to coax the baby to kick or move for him.

Your child already adored the sound of their dad’s voice, would normally start to wiggle around the second Harry would start talking or singing anywhere around you. The first time it happened, the two of you were attending a birthday party for a friend and Harry was halfway across the room, animatedly telling a story to a group of your mutual friends. It was one of the many reasons you had fallen for him so quickly, his ability to have a room full of people so captivated by a tale you were sure they had heard at least 5 times before.

But he doesn’t seem to care about anyone else’s reactions, his eyes continuously flicking back to gauge your feedback, knowing which parts make you laugh the hardest no matter how many times you’d listened to him tell it. When your mouth falls open with a soft gasp and a hand clutching the side of your belly, he hurries through the ending to weave his way back through the party to you.

“You okay, love? Somethin’ wrong?” The tears falling on your dress don’t match the glowing smile radiating across your face and he’s turning his head amusingly from where he hovers over you.

“Everything’s great, H. Think someone just loves the sound of daddy’s voice.” You take the drink he still holds in his hand and set it on the table in front of you, turning your body to face him and tugging his wrist down to where you had felt the kick moments before, “Say something else now that you’re closer. See if she moves for you.”

“She? You find out somethin’ you wanna tell me, darlin’?”

“No, just a feeling. Haven’t you thought about which you would rather us have?”

He shakes his head no, his eyes bright with a pride you’ve never seen burn so intensely, “As long as you and they end up happy and healthy in the end, s’all that matters to me.”

He scoots his body to sit on the bench next to you, bending his head to speak softly, “Hello, little one. S’daddy. Mummy’s here too. Wanna move around a bit more f’us?”

He rests his head there for a moment, a hand rubbing along the side of your stomach, not caring who at the party may see the two of you or how silly he may look. He looks like a child who’s just been granted his one and only wish when your baby responds, a foot landing against where his cheek is pressed.

“There you are, baby. You kickin’ at me? Cheeky little thing y’are already..just like mummy, huh?” He turns to kiss the spot where the foot had been, ”We’re g’nna have so much fun when you get here, angel.”

Harry watches your feet a lot more closely these days.

You didn't notice it at first. But today as you're coming down the stairs, you catch his eyes watching carefully as he waits for you. One of your hands cradles your bump that seems to be growing daily now, while the other glides along the railing to keep yourself steady.

"Am I wearing mismatched shoes or something?" You lean forward in an attempt to look at your feet over your belly, nearly toppling down the last few stairs. The look on Harry's face would have been comical if it wasn't laced with so much fear as he lunged forward to meet you and help you the rest of the way down.

"Careful!" Even with you settled safely now against his side, his voice is full of worry, "Nothing's wrong with your shoes, honey. Just wanted to make sure you made it down safely, know how clumsy y'are."

"You worry too much, Harry. I would've made it down fine if you hadn't been staring at my feet."

"My girl's carrying my baby..m’allowed to worry about you both. Y'sure I can't convince you to stay home and let me do the grocery shopping this week?"

"No, I wanna go. Last time you forgot the bagels."

"Are you ever gonna forgive me for that?" You're glad to see the fear has fallen away from his face as you both reach the bottom of the stairs together.

"Maybe." You shrug, "Might take a few more kisses though."

"Deal." One of his hands comes to rest warmly on the underside of your belly, the other one still supporting the small of your back as he bends down to place kisses across your face.

A kick from within your stomach has both of you giggling and looking down to where it's pressed between the two of you.

"Are you mad at daddy too, hmm? Already two against one around here, I see. Alright then, baby gets kisses too."

“Harry will you please get up? We only have an hour to get ready and make it to the appointment. I don’t wanna be late!”

He rolls over, intending to pull you closer to him for a morning kiss, an important part of his usual routine. He frowns when he finds you’re already out of bed, digging through drawers of your dresser to find what you need to get ready for the day.

You haven’t noticed he’s awake yet so you keep encouraging him, “C’mon, made you breakfast. It’s an important day!”

“You’re not allowed to do that, y’know.”

“Do what?” You’re only half paying attention, tugging a dress over your head and scowling at your reflection in the full length mirror when it doesn’t fit over your belly. You quickly pull it back off and toss it in the pile you’ve already tried (and failed) to stretch over your growing bump.

“Daddy’s s’posed to make breakfast for mummy while she sleeps in, not the other way ‘round.”

“Well, mommy was too nervous to sleep in so she’s up getting ready, as daddy should be!” You tug one of your maternity shirts from a hanger in your closet and throw it over your head, declaring to yourself that it’ll just have to do. Thankfully it pairs well with the black leggings you’ve already struggled through pulling on. You plop on the edge of the bed, a deep sigh falling from your lips as you look around at the mess you’ve made of your shared bedroom.

“Mummy needs to relax. She looks beautiful in whatever she wears, no matter what day it is.” He rubs a hand along your back, up to soothe over the pinch between your shoulder blades.

“Nothing fits anymore, swear this belly gets bigger by the day. If I find out today you put a set of twins in me, Styles, you are gonna be in so much trouble.”

He throws his head back, a deep rumbling laugh erupting from his chest, “Aww c’mon, lovie. Twins would be so fun! Think we’d get lucky and have one of each? A boy and a girl?” He kisses your shoulder.

He’s pulling you in to rest against his chest now, the fabric of his well worn t-shirt cool and soft on your cheek. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, pressing a kiss firmly to the top of your head.

“Just lay with me a minute, hmm? Did you get any sleep last night? Felt you tossing and turning for half of it.”

“Maybe a couple of hours. I was too nervous.”

“You should’ve woken me. Hate the idea of you being awake and nervous alone, honey.” One hand trails up to cup your chin, a thumb smoothing over the tension set in your jaw.

“I honestly don’t know how you got any sleep. I wasn’t alone though, I think I kept the baby up half the night too.” You shift to face him, resting your chin on his chest, seeking the comfort of his face, “Are you okay? You’re not nervous at all?”

“M’fine. What’s to be nervous about? We get to see our baby today, find out what it is. I couldn’t be happier about that.” He brushes a strand of hair softly away from your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“Maybe it’s more excitement than nerves. I just felt..restless. Maybe it’s silly, but I just wanted to look nice today too and none of my good clothes fit me anymore.”

“You’ve always been beautiful to me, baby. But now? I’ve never seen anyone look as gorgeous as you look now. S’important to me that you know and believe that as much as I do. I’ll remind you everyday if y’need me to.”

“You really mean that, Harry?”

“‘Course I do. I know this has been new and scary for both of us, and I’m so proud of you. You’ve fallen into this with such ease and grace, already started gettin’ our home ready for our little one. I can’t wait to see you with them when they’re born.”

“You’re gonna be the most amazing dad. Teaching our child kindness and love, reminding them it’s okay to be whatever they choose to be. It’s important to me that you know how much I adore you and seeing you become the dad you were meant to be? It’s gonna be incredible. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”

“Me either. Think I’d be miserable if it were anyone else.”

“Nah you’d get used to them eventually. Especially if they were having your baby.”

He laughs again, pulling you closer to smush his lips against your temple.

“Alright, up we get,” He scoots away to push himself up and off the bed, offering you his hands to help pull yourself up, “Let’s go see if our little bub got blessed with your nose or cursed with mine.”

You’re over the moon every time you see Harry’s beaming smile when he passes the black and white sonogram photo now proudly displayed on the refrigerator; your son’s nose a perfect mixture of yours and Harry’s.

#dadathon #harry styles imagine #harry x reader #my writing #dad!harry

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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"Caught In The Storm" *Part 2*

Y'all thought I was kidding when I said I was pumped for this story; you just read how long this chapter is.

IT'S POURING OUT. I JUST WANT YOU TO GET WHERE I AM ALREADY.

It's so good guys. Like, SO GOOD.

Okay I'm sorry proceed.

Tag List:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@lolliepopsicle

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

If you missed part 1: Here!

Part 3 Here!

-----

The next day the SVU squad was having one of their "murder board" meetings when you came storming into the station.

"Well I hope you're happy!!" You looked right at Fin.

"Audition didn't go well, cannoli?" Sonny asked you using his pet name for you.

"No Sonny, it DID NOT," You huffed. "I walked in there and I blew my audition," You circled Fin’s desk. "And I don't mean I forgot the lyrics, or I hit a bad note. No no, ohhhh no," You finally stood in front of him and crossed your arms.

"Halfway through the song I broke down SOBBING. I had a complete mental breakdown, because all I could think was that I had the worst moment of my entire life in that room!!!"

"Hey you can't blame us for your mistakes," Fin retorted.

"I don't blame them, I blame you!" You gestured to the rest of your “family” and then to him.

"Excuse you?" Fin sat up straighter.

"You didn't have to say anything Fin, you really didn't," You sighed.

"What?"

"You could have waited to have your fucking temper tantrum until after my audition,"

"Excuse me no--"

"She has a point" Olivia interjected.

"You too?" Fin took offense.

"Fin she was leaving, it wasn't like she was going to try and jump Rafael's bones right there," She went on. The whole room shivered at the thought of you “jumping” anybody’s bones.

"Look, I don't love it either but you can't help your feelings. And she just has a little crush on him, you can't fault her for that,"

You scoffed in offense.

"You're not helping, sweets," Olivia warned.

"Right…"

"Anyway you could have waited to have it out, is all I’m saying,” Olivia nodded at you with a smile. You mouthed a “thank you”.

"Oh we haven't begun to have it out," Fin huffed.

"Save it" You put a hand up before he started to stand up and get in your face for a fight.

"I already know what you're going to say; he's too old for me, we're a 'family' and he's supposed to be my 'uncle' or 'brother' or some other creepy thing, and we have nothing in common. But we do!"

"You barely know him, Y/N," Nick chimed in.

"I know him better than any of you!" You cried defensively.

"What?" Sonny looked at everyone confused, but they were just as lost as he was.

"That summer….when I was working with him. We got... close," You muttered the ending.

"I fucking knew it, you did bang him begin my back…" Fin growled.

"It wasn't like that! It's not like that, da--FIN," You actually did usually call him dad or daddy, but since he had been trying to use his dominance you persisted to remind him he wasn't actually your father.

"So what, now you two are in love?" Fin rolled his eyes.

"No! He didn't... we've never….it's never gone there, and I don't even know how he feels," You looked down as you talked. But then, you remembered why you were there in the first place and you raised your head up with eyes of fire.

“And it wouldn't matter anyway because it's none of your business.” You snapped.

“It is absolutely my business Y/N he’s my co-worker, he’s ALL of our co-workers, this affects ALL of us,”

“I knew it,” You scoffed, tears coming to your eyes.

“What?”

“I knew you’d blow up, and freak out, and not even ATTEMPT to open your mind or hear what I have to say, it’s just about you and what makes you okay,” You backed away from all of them.

“So I came here willing to say that I’m done,” You raised your hands.

“What do you mean you’re ‘done’?” Fin crossed his arms.

“With you,” You replied straight faced, willing tears not to fall right now. “Olivia’s right, I can’t help the way I feel, and BELIEVE me I have tried, daddy,” You resorted to your old name for a punch in the gut.

“Y’know whenever Sonny and Nick started, I had ‘crushes’ on them too,” You nodded at the two, who quickly looked uncomfortable picturing you that way.

“But those quickly went away, and I accepted them as my uncles, or whatnot,” You continued. “I have done that since I was in Jr. High, come here and meet my new ‘family’. I’ve always felt maternal or paternal vibes from everyone here, Uncle Brian, Grandpa Kragen and Munch, Uncle Stabler who can rot in hell…” You gave Olivia a sad look.

“But it’s ALWAYS been familial love! And the day I met Rafael, something was different,” You couldn’t help the tears choking your throat. “And I have never, EVER no matter HOW hard I have tried, felt anything like I feel about the rest of you. It’s just....different,”

“And now, you all know. And I know that you don’t like it, or it makes you uneasy, or blah blah blah,” You made blah gestures with your hands.

“But I can’t go back to pretending that it doesn’t kill me every time that I see him, and I’m not going to pretend like I’m okay with dad being-- this,” You gestured to Fin who shifted uncomfortably.

“So, I’m not going to come around here, for a while,” You said sadly.

“We didn’t do anything, cannoli! We’re your family too,” Sonny protested.

“Yeah I know, I just--”

“Look, Y/N before anybody does ANYTHING, you need to go talk to Rafael,”

“What?

“WHAT?!”

Both you and Fin exclaimed at the same time.

“Look I’m not thrilled with the idea of...that, but the bottom line none of this arguing means anything if he doesn’t feel the same way. So I’m saying before you start going off and making threats to US, go talk to him first. Without anybody else’s input,”

“Yeah, alright,” You shrugged and left before anyone else could argue.

--------

You walked into Rafael’s office quietly, not really sure how to start the conversation. He was writing a deposition silently so you knocked on the door to get his attention. He looked up at you with a small smile.

“Hey you,” He got up and walked around his desk as you shut the door behind you. “I was worried about you,” He put his hands on both of your shoulders.

“I know,” You gave him a small smile back. “But you’re right we do need to talk about last night,”

“Yeah, I--” He looked away nervously.

“I already went to my da---Fin, and the squad about this,” You bit your lip.

“....About what?” He was now concerned.

“Us,” You looked at him with a small smile.

“I’m sorry, there’s an ‘us’ now?” Rafael half laughed.

“Well that’s what I’m saying, Rafael!” You bit your lip. “Look after all the fighting and what not, what it boils down to is how you and I feel,”

“.....What are you saying?” Rafael asked, backing away from you.

“I’m asking,” You step forward and took both of his hands and looked at him seriously.

“For you to forget about Fin, or the squad, or an age gap, or all the million other things that are ‘against’ us,” You took a deep breath and asked the hardest question you’ve ever asked anyone:

“I’m asking you...do you love me?”

“Of course I love you Y/N, you’re like a--” Rafael immediately responded, moving away from you and gesturing wildly.

“Do NOT say daughter,” You cut him off. “Or sister, or niece, or cousin. You know that’s not what I’m asking,” You grabbed him and made him look at you again.

“Do you want to be with me?”

“I...it’s complicated,” He broke from your hold and paced his office.

“No I’d say it’s pretty damn simple-- do you feel about me the way I feel about you?” You asked him again.

“I just...I don’t want to become between you and Fin, he’s basically your--”

“He’s NOT my father!” You yelled.

“But he’s the closest thing you have!” Rafael argued, putting his hands over his face and taking a deep sigh.

“Christ almighty, Y/N. I don’t...I don’t want this to be a whole ‘thing’, I don’t want to upset Olivia, or the other squad members, I just...want us to go back to normal,” He gave you a sad look as he sank into his chair behind his desk.

“....Yeah well, normal is not an option, Rafael. And you STILL have not answered my question,” You circled his desk to be closer to him again.

“What question?”

“Dammit, Rafa!” You threw up your hands, then took both of your hands and put them on either side of the chair preventing him from evading you again.

“Look me in the eyes right now, and tell me you’re not in love with me,”

A very long pause began, as the two of you just stared at each other. You were searching his green eyes for a hint, a tell of what he was thinking, but he kept himself very guarded. You hated it.

“...No, I’m not,” He said in the tiniest voice as he looked down at the floor.

“You’re lying,” You pulled back with a sarcastic laugh, tears choking your throat yet again.

“Oh so just because I didn’t say what you wanted me to, I’m lying? For fuck’s sake grow up, Y/N,” Rafael spat at you coldly, turning back to his desk in an attempt to resume working.

“Fine, you know what? Fine. That’s great. You believe whatever you wanna believe Rafael, but things are NOT going back to normal,” You shook your head, trying to be cold and direct but failing as tears fell from your eyes.

“Y/N….” He felt his heart breaking, he hated to see you cry.

“No,” You stopped him. “We’re done. I don’t ever want to see you again. Not here, not at the station, not at the fucking Starbucks down my street!” Your voice raised as more tears fell.

“Y/N, please don’t do this…” Rafael began to panic, realizing what you were saying. He leapt up from his chair and tried grabbing your hands but you pushed him away.

“Don’t call me, don’t text me. Just...leave me hell alone,” And with that you turned on your heels and stormed out of his office, now full on sobbing down the hall.

Unbeknownst to you, Rafael let out an angry scream, running over to his desk and flinging papers everywhere, then proceeded to sink back into his chair behind his desk and cried ever so silently in his office.

-----

It had been about a week since your whole fallout with your “family” and Barba and you weren't doing great.

Then one day you got a phone call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N, this is Sandy from the supper club?” You immediately stopped walking when you heard her voice.

“Oh yes how are you?”

“Great, I was wondering if you could come back in and audition for us again?”

“Are you serious? I know I’m going to regret asking but, what made you change your mind?”

“Well your friend Kelsey called and told us that the day you came in and auditioned, your dog had just died that morning. But you didn't want to stand us up so you came anyway. And to be honest with you, all of the other auditions have kind of sucked so we'd like to give you another try.”

“Oh my God thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!!”

“Great so we'll see you tonight at 8:00?”

“Absolutely,”

You hung up the phone and immediately called Kelsey.

“Hello?”

“I love you so much I love you I love you I love you!”

“Oh so they called did they?”

“YES. I cannot believe that you would do that for me,”

“Well I figured you needed a win right now. Since you know you lost your family, and everybody who actually cares about you,”

“....Wow,”

“ You know what I mean! I mean you still have me, and Kenny obviously,”

“....Right. ANYWAY, the audition is tonight so….”

“Yes?”

“Will you play for me?”

“Let me see if I can free up my busy schedule,”

“Ha, Ha,”

“Oh look I’m free! I'll be there after work. Love you bye”

----

*That Night*

You walked into the Supper Club with a brand new outfit and a nervous smile. You noticed Kelsey was already at the piano, waving at you with a huge smile and a thumbs up.

“Hey Sandy, Hey Kyle…” You shook hands with the owners. “Thank you so much again for this chance,

“Girl we should be thanking you, you should’ve seen the ‘talent’ that has stunk up this stage all week!” Kyle laughed.

“So are you ready?” Sandy asked you.

“Yeah, I think I’m good,” You took a deep breath and smiled at her. She nodded at you while you took your spot on stage once again.

You closed your eyes and blocked out everything and everyone out of your mind, except for your song. It was just you, and the stage. This is what mattered.

-----

“....Good to you,” You finished the last line with a breathy note, your eyes still closed. You had kept them shut the entire time just so you wouldn’t look out into the house and just see the horrified looks of your family's faces burned into your brain.

“That was beautiful!!” Sandy clapped her hands. “Do you think you could come back tomorrow night and do that again?”

“Like for a second audition?” You asked hopefully.

“Like as a job,” She grinned back.

“Really?!”

“Yes really! That was enchanting darling, really,” Kyle placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” You nodded for Kelsey to come over as Sandy and Kyle walked away.

“I got the job,” You beamed.

“YOU GOT THE JOB!!!!” She squealed, causing people to stare. You shook your head and lead her out of the club back onto the street.

“Oh my god, Oh my GOD! I’m going to sing to a packed club, night after night after night! Oh my god, I have to call Dad---” Your celebrating tone quickly died when you realized the only people you’d wanna call about this weren’t...there.

“...You can call Kenny,”

“Kenny!” You smiled. “Yes I’ll call Kenny!”

“Hey girl what’s up?”

“I got the job,”

“Wha---at the Supper Club?”

“YES!!!!!!”

“Oh my god you GOT THE JOB!!!” *she got the job!*

You heard him speak to a muffled voice in the background.

“Kenny…”

“Yeah babe what’s up?”

“Who are you with right now?”

“...Alejandro,”

“Oh, Alex! I haven’t seen him in forever, put him on the phone,”

“He uh-- he has food in his mouth,”

“Boy why you lying, tell her she needs to--”

You heard Fin's voice.

“KENNETH,”

“...Yeah?”

“Don’t tell him that! He doesn’t get to know that!”

“Y/N, can’t we just stop all of this--”

“NO. And if you tell him to come tomorrow night I will kill you,”

You hung the phone and noticed Kelsey giving you a look.

“What?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You didn’t have to tell him you were singing tomorrow, you could’ve just texted him so Fin wouldn’t hear,” She smiled mischievously at you. “You want him thereeee,”

"...Maybe," You bit your lip. "Do you think he'll come?"

"I bet they ALL come, baby girl," She winked.

You wondered if she was right. If you'd see Rafael tomorrow, after all this time.

------

“I can’t believe she--” Kenneth stared at the phone, then to Fin.

“Dad, you have to go to her show tomorrow night,”

“Kenny she literally just said she’d kill you--”

“Yeah but dad, we both know her,” He looked at Fin with earnest eyes. “She might be mad at you right now, but she’ll want you there when her dream is coming true,” Fin’s eyes lit up as he finished speaking.

“AND the rest of the squad,” He quickly added, making Fin sigh.

“Yeah,” He agreed.

“AND Barba,”

“...Yeah alright Ken I get it, okay? Finish your food before it gets cold,”

-----

The next day Fin went to see Barba at his office. He knocked softly then entered to see Barba talking with Olivia.

“Detective,” Barba nodded. “Didn’t expect you here, was Olivia not working fast enough?” He teased Liv with a smile.

“Actually I’m glad you’re both here. I need to tell the rest of the guys but-- I wanted to come here first,”

“That sounds ominous, Fin,”

“Actually it’s not,” He shook his head. “Y/N got that job she...auditioned for, a few weeks ago,” He muttered awkwardly not looking Barba in the face.

“Wha--Seriously? How? When?!” Olivia began asking questions rapid fire.

“....Why did you come to tell me this, Fin? You didn’t know Olivia was here,”

“Look, Barba,” Fin sighed, running his hand back across his head. “I don’t-- I don’t need to know the specifics of how close you and my daug---Y/N, are,”

“Oh Fin look I haven’t--”

“Yeah, I figured. She’s iced us all out for a while now,” He chuckled sadly. If he taught you anything, it was how to stand your ground.

“But Kenny said, that as mad as she is we need to be there tomorrow night when she goes on,” He continued. “All of us,”

“Tomorrow?” Barba’s eyes perked up. “Tomorrow night, you want me to go see Y/N?”

“ALL of us,” He emphasized. “But, yeah,”

“Sounds good,” He replied as nonchalant as he could, trying to hide his excitement. He missed you so badly, it scared him how much it hurt not to have you in his life on a daily basis.

“Uh huh,” Fin chuckled, nodding to Olivia. “I’ll see you back at the station,”

“Actually I was on my way out, I’ll see you tomorrow night Rafa,” She winked at him.

As soon as they left his office, Rafael did a fist pump in the air like a kid. He was going to see you, after so long.

He couldn’t wait. He just hoped you couldn’t either.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu fanfiction #caught in the storm

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unsaid-stardust · 4 years

Text

Used to This

Words: 2,228

Pairing: Julie x Luke

Summary: Set between episode 3 and 4, Luke’s curiosity about Julie’s dream box only grows leading the pair to grow even closer.

Author’s note: I have risen from the black room where Alex has been crying for 25 years to write fics! I’m hoping for it to stay that way! Tell me what you think! 💜

tagging: @littledancersun @sunsetcurves @sevenseashigh (Nicolette I tagged the wrong acc first sdklfhadfh)

After the week Julie had, she was happy to be able to finally relax She couldn't wait to get home, take a shower, and just lie down in her bed. Meeting the boys was exhausting in itself, how would you handle being introduced to 3 fairly attractive teenage boys who happened to live in your garage? But, then she started performing again. And while that was exciting and exhilarating, it was exhausting all the same.

Finally entering her room, Julie let out a sigh of relief as she belly-flopped onto her bed. Big mistake, she thought to herself, because she definitely was not getting up. She smiled into her pillow, hugging it as she closed her eyes. This was dangerous. It was only 8:30 pm. She should not be able to fall asleep this early. Or..she could just-

Julie suddenly shivered. She opened her eyes and immediately sat up. That could only mean one thing. She scanned her room and quickly found him by her bookshelf. Luke. She may feel like she was half-asleep, but she didn't need to be wide awake in order to know what he was over there for.

"Luke! What did I tell you about my room?!" Julie shouted as she edged closer to him. Luke hissed through his teeth, putting his arms up in defense and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, but I told you the other day! I can't stop thinking about the box!" He protested. Julie crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"But I told you what was in it! Shouldn't that satisfy your curiosity? Besides we have rules now!" Julie answered. Luke looked down at the ground then and Julie felt like she had just kicked a puppy.

"You're right. I'm sorry. It's just, after being cooped up in wherever we were for 25 years, it's nice to finally be able to go wherever I want to. But, that doesn't mean I can go wherever I want. I'm sorry," He explained. Julie wanted to stay mad at him. After all, wasn't she supposed to? He was a ghost living in her house taking up her space and breaking her rules. It wasn't like she was supposed to be used to this sort of thing. She had a right to be mad about his presence. But, she couldn't. She couldn't stay mad. Not after that explanation he just gave.

"It's ok, I get it. Just, I need my personal space as much as you need yours. But, I guess it's no harm if you come in here-" Julie was cut off by the sound of Luke's cheer.

"Only! You can't touch anything. Got it?" Julie questioned.

"But what-" Luke began to protest. Julie raised an eyebrow and pointed a guilty finger towards him.

"Got it?" She repeated. Luke rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat.

"Got it," He caved, crossing his heart and putting his hands up in defense. Julie shook her head. Usually, what people say after they cross their heart is "cross my heart and hope to die" but Luke, that didn't apply to him since he was already a ghost. If Flynn had done something like that, Julie would've called her out on it, but she didn't think it was necessary to do that to Luke, especially since he's still getting used to this whole being-a-ghost thing.

"I was going to say, though, it's not like I can pick much up anyway. We already told you earlier, it takes a lot for us to do something like that," He explained as he looked at the box on the shelf. Julie noticed that at a glance, he would seem perfectly fine. But, she was beginning to know him. He held a lot of secrets. She guessed that most ghosts would, I mean, that's why they were ghosts in the first place, right? Some unfinished business or whatever? She didn't know what kind of secrets they were, but she knew that there was a lot more to him. And she could see it in his eyes. He was sad. And Julie had the urge to make him feel better. And she knew what might help, at least, for the meanwhile.

Julie sighed and moved to grab her dream box off of her shelf. Julie ignored the weird feeling in her stomach that she got when she saw Luke's face light up like he was a kid in a candy store. She moved it to her bed where she then sat cross-legged and Luke sat with one knee bent on the edge of the bed, his other leg hanging down the side. Julie placed the box in front of her lap and opened it. Luke peered over it intently and Julie tried to fight back the wave of sadness that came over her. The very first item inside of the box, was a pair of backstage passes--To Trevor Wilson's concert. She moved quickly to remove them for Luke's sake.

"Sorry. I'll just-"

"No, it's okay. It makes you happy. That's what the box is for, right?" Luke questioned. Julie nodded slowly in response.

"Yeah. Back when Carrie and me were friends we uh, we went to her dad's comeback concert and my mom came with. It was my first time backstage and it was kind of when I realized I really wanted to play music like that," Julie explained. Luke smiled.

"So, we really did introduce you to music, huh?" He inquired with a smirk. Julie rolled her eyes as she shook her head.

"I said rock music. Don't get too cocky now," Julie responded. Luke let out a chuckle before biting his lip. Julie forced herself to focus on the box. She thought that if she let herself look at his lips for too long, she would write a million songs about them. Which wouldn't be the end of the world, you know, if we wasn't an actual ghost.

"Ooh, what's this?" Luke pointed to Julie's old Tamagotchi. She couldn't help, but laugh.

"This?" She asked as she held it up. Luke nodded, curiosity showing in his smile.

"It's a Tamagotchi. It was really annoying when I had it, but my mom got it for me on my 7th birthday and now it makes me smile thinking back on how my mom would remind me to take care of it. Not a lot of people had them, they were kind of retro at my age, but my mom loved it when she was in college," Julie rambled. She looked towards Luke's direction to see that he completely and utterly lost. She forgot sometimes that the boys were from a different time period and that they missed out on so much. Not just with friends and family, but with the ages. The boys would literally love YouTube. Being able to watch live concerts whenever you wanted to? That's right up their alley. Julie made a mental note that she should show them how to view that some time. They'd go nuts. Maybe they'd like the Tamagotchi too. Wait. Do ghost band-boys like Tamagotchis? Well, only one way to figure out. She set it aside to let Luke know that the boys were allowed to mess around with it.

Luke didn't seem to captivated by it as he his eyes shifted focus on the pieces of paper crumbled beneath a few other miscellaneous objects. Julie should've known he would've picked up on that.

"Song lyrics?" He questioned, not really needing the answer. Julie sighed. She forgot she had put those back in the box the other day. She nodded.

"I thought you said they weren't in there anymore?" Luke continued, his voice quiet. Julie shrugged.

"They weren't. But I, uh-I decided to put them back in. Now that I'm singing and playing again, the lyrics don't hurt as much," She explained, not allowing herself to look at Luke in the eyes, but she could see him nod in understanding. He always did seem to get her. She sighed. She wasn't planning on showing him these lyrics anytime soon, but it just felt--right. She moved some of the other items out of the way and retrieved the pieces of paper from the bottom of the box. Carefully, she unfolded them, and she was suddenly very aware of how close Luke was to her, unaware of when he moved to sit next to her.

"I was um, I was working on this one with my mom before she died," Julie started before she opened her mouth again to sing.

"Cause everything is rushing in fast. Keep going on, never look back. And it's one, two,, three, four times" She sang. Julie took the leap of faith and looked at Luke for his reaction. She couldn't even put it in words if she tried, but she liked the way it made her feel.

"That was all that we were able to get to. It's still missing something in the pre-chorus though, but I could never bring myself to finish it," Julie explained. Luke visibly swallowed.

"That's um that's really amazing already. But...Can I...I uh kind of heard this melody in my head as you were singing. Do you mind...if-if I..." Luke trailed off, unsure if he was overstepping boundaries. Julie felt her lips part. Showing these lyrics to Luke was one thing, one vulnerable enough thing, but having him finish them? That was something else. And she didn't know what it was. But something inside of her told her it was ok. That maybe, her mom had wanted her to finish these lyrics with someone else. And she was ok with it being Luke. More than ok. Julie nodded slowly signaling him to go on.

"And it's one, two, three, four times that I'll try for one more night. Light a fire in my eyes, I'm going out of my mind," he sang. Julie pursed her lips, her mind running a mile a minute and yet, her mouth unable to move. Something inside of her, though, gave her the power to respond.

"I like that. A lot. That's exactly what was missing from it before. What if we um, what if we then went into a chorus that went something like...whatever happens, even If I'm the last standing, i'ma stand tall, i'ma stand tall," She sang. Luke smiled the biggest smile that Julie had ever seen.

"Yeah yeah, and then we could go like..." Luke buzzed with lyric ideas as Julie reached to grab a notebook and pen and suddenly, they were spitballing words and melodies back and fourth until morning. It wasn't until the sun began to shine through her window that she realized what time it was. Julie snapped out the creativity whirlwind that she and Luke had been in.

"Morning? What no, no, no, it can't be morning! I was just about to go to bed," Julie exclaimed as she stood up from her bed.

"Julie, relax that was only like 10 minutes ago. It's not like we stayed up all night," Luke stated. Julie crossed her arms.

"That's not how that works! It was dark when we started writing lyrics and now it's not which means we did stay up all night!" Julie responded. Luke shook his head, still not seeming to understand Julie's dilemma.

"But, we don't need sleep. When I'm with Reggie and Alex, we have so much energy that we could probably win a marathon and win. And trust me, that says a lot, Alex can't run if his life depended on it. Oh, wait. I can't use that phrase anymore can I?" Luke rambled. Julie rolled her eyes.

"Yes, but I'm not a ghost so I need sleep, so you, out, now!" Julie demanded. Luke's jaw dropped before he began to protest.

"But you said-" He moved towards her with a victimized finger.

"Out!" Julie repeated. Luke sighed and put his hands out in defeat.

"Fine!" He yelled before blipping out. Julie sighed with relief as she grabbed a hold of her covers to climb into bed; her tiredness from last night creeping its way back. She closed her eyes, hoping to get 1 or 2 hours of sleep before her dad starts to wonder where she is, a smile painting across her lips the night with Luke replayed in her mind. Julie never thought that she would get used to ghosts appearing and disappearing in her presence whenever they wanted to. And she didn't think that she had wanted to. But, maybe it wasn't all that bad. Especially when one of said ghosts can write lyrics and know your soul without you having to say a word and possessed your mind when they weren't around. It was weird to say, heck, everything about this was weird, but she liked what she had with Lu-the band. And she wouldn't change anything at all.

"Sorry, I forgot this. Goodnight, uh morning, don't let the bed bugs bite," Luke blipped in briefly, grabbing the Tamagotchi from the dream box, causing Julie to sit up in her bed. Except maybe that. She shook her head with a smile before laying back down. Her Tamagotchi was definitely going to be dead when she woke up. And that? That she wasn't ok with.

#Julie and the phantoms #julie x luke #Julie and the phantoms fanfic #Julie and the phantoms fanfiction #sabs writes #do Julie and Luke have a ship name yet????#anyone????#I can't wait to write more puns about ghosts #askjdhf #I am thriving

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phantom-curve · 3 years

Text

find the strength, find the melody pt. 7

lmfao I love how I posted an update 2 days ago like “this fic will have sporadic posts! idk when they’re coming!” and then I spent the last two days writing this. when that insomnia inspiration hits ya gotta just go with it!

this chapter went in a completely different direction than I had planned on soooo yeah...honestly not sure where this is gonna end up! the characters from my OC novel that I’m loosely basing this story around didn’t have a connection before they ran into each other so when Julie gave me this I almost cut it because I genuinely wasn’t sure where it was going. I think I’ve almost figured it out and I’m pretty sure I know how this will end. and now we all get to laugh at me together because it’s definitely gonna be more than 3-4 chapters. it might even be more than 6. Luke’s POV will have roughly the same amount of chapters I think, possibly longer because boy oh boy does he have A LOT to say (most of it about Julie). fair warning: this one has an awkward cut off because of the way I need to set up the next chapter. sorry about that.

and now something I probably should be embarrassed to admit: I don’t remember writing the part where I managed to sneak an “I’ve Got The Music” reference in so now we know for sure this show has infiltrated my brain. it’s fine, I’m fine, at least I WILL BE WHEN WE GET A S2!!!! KENNY!!!! SAVE ME HERE!!! MAKE MY UNHINGED OBSESSIONS WORTH IT!!!!!

taglist: @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles, @bluefyoto94, @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder, @kat-maybe-not, @lukewearingbeanies, @imastrugglingartist

It was no small miracle that Julie made it through the afternoon without Ray asking for details about her supposed ‘plan’ to play with the Sunset Curve boys. She didn’t think she would have been able to pull off spinning a story quite as well as Luke had earlier. She had expected at least a small amount of interrogating about when she had started playing again, but apparently the news that she was playing at all, let alone with other people in front of an audience, was enough for Ray to ignore all of the other plot holes involved in this scheme. He seemed to have almost forgotten the meeting with Principal Lessa entirely, humming on the drive home, kissing her forehead and turning her loose to freak out alone in her room while he sat down to work on his computer in the dining room. Julie took full advantage of the time alone to restlessly pace her room and send Flynn a 911 text. Her bestie’s contact photo lit up the phone screen 30 seconds later.

“Okay, I’m hiding in the basement girl’s bathroom, so you’ve got exactly 5 minutes before I get too grossed out to stay here.”

Julie’s chest loosened at the sound of Flynn’s comforting voice. There wasn’t anyone else in the world that loved her the way Flynn did. It was reassuring and made it easy for Julie to let loose.

“Lessa told Dad about the music program and then You-Know-Who ambushed us outside of her office and basically forced me to agree to perform with them.”

“Voldemort was at Los Feliz?!”

Flynn’s gasp was overflowing with sarcasm.

“Flynn!” Julie whined. “Be serious! Luke showed up out of nowhere again! And he did the thing again! The charming his way into getting what he wants thing! And now I have to play with his freaking band! What the hell am I supposed to do?”

There was silence for a moment. When Flynn spoke again her voice was softer, more serious.

“You don’t have to play with them, Jules. You can tell them no, and they’ll have no choice but to respect that. The only person who can make you do anything is you. But...I kinda think you might want to play with them.”

“What?! No!”

Julie’s exclamation was a second late. Flynn didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. Julie sighed.

“Okay fine. There’s something about Luke that makes me want to play again. Are you happy? He gave mom’s song back to me when I thought it was lost forever. He’s the only person who’s heard me perform it, and he...no one else has ever made me feel that good about my music before.”

Julie thanked her lucky stars Flynn wasn’t in the room to see her blush. There was a long moment of contemplative silence on the other end of the line. When she spoke again, there was that extra note of take-no-shit in Flynn’s voice that made Julie sit up and really listen.

“I think you should give it a chance. Who knows, maybe this is some sort of sign from your mom. You said it was a miracle he would have even found that song in the first place. You said it felt like she was there with you when you were playing. Maybe she made sure it would find its way back to you when you were ready for it.”

Julie didn’t say anything, just worried her bottom lip with her teeth. Her heart beat a little faster in her chest. It had felt a little too perfect to be just a coincidence. The way Luke kept appearing in her life at the exact moments she needed him someone or something to help her keep moving forward. Flynn sighed.

“Look, I’m not saying it is your mom. But I’m not saying there’s not some kind of greater power out there that keeps pushing the two of you together. I think you should give it a chance. If nothing else, you can get back in the music program and we can bring Double Trouble to life in time for our Junior Showcase!”

Julie couldn’t help laughing. Her eyes felt misty, love for her best friend welling up in her heart.

“I never agreed to that name you know. But thanks, Flynn. I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now. I gotta get the fuck out of this grimy ass bathroom. Love you, bye!”

Flynn waited for her to return the sentiment before hanging up. Julie flopped back on her bed, letting her breath out in a loud whoosh as she hit the comforter. A glance at her phone told her she only had a couple hours until Luke and the other boys would be out of school and on their way to her house. She tried her best to ignore the way that thought made her stomach roll with a type of nervousness she would rather not name. It was easier to blame it on nerves over playing with new people rather than nerves over playing with Luke. Except...now that she actually thought about it, she had played with Luke before. Her head spun, eyes fluttering shut as she remembered the one music class she had shared with Luke last year.

She had only been a freshman, stuck in a lowly Introduction to Composition class. It was supposed to be for new songwriters. Julie had a little more experience than the rest of the class, after all she’d been kind of composing with her mom for a few years now, so when it had been time to write a duet for their final big project she had gotten paired up with the classmate whose skill level most matched hers. It was supposed to be a way for them to challenge each other and grow as writers instead of one person doing most of the work. Julie had been paired with Luke.

He’d been a grumbly sophomore, held back for failing his last semester of Intro to Comp the year before. He had been stuck there only for the second semester, forced to double up between their class and his second year Composition class. Julie hadn’t been all that excited about partnering with him. He hadn’t really seemed to care about the class at all, and even though Julie also sometimes felt like it was holding her back a little bit, she never once voiced that thought. It was a privileged mindset, and Julie was well aware that she had an advantage over her classmates since her mother was a professional songwriter. Luke, on the other hand, had made it well known that he felt like he was wasting his time just waiting to get through the semester so he could move up to the Advanced Composition class that he felt he truly belonged in. Julie could usually do no more than roll her eyes in those moments.

It was true that Luke was talented. His guitar playing was impressive, his lyrics were heartfelt and sometimes even downright poetic. Julie just didn’t think anyone deserved specific things in life because they happened to be naturally talented at something. Their songwriting experience had been...interesting to say the least. And short. It had ended abruptly when Julie’s mother had died 5 days later. In the end, they’d only worked together for two 40-minute class periods before she had been lost in the fog of grief that consumed her in the weeks following the loss of her mom.

Julie shot up in bed, eyes wide. She didn’t even fully remember what had happened with the half-finished song they had been working on. Errant notes echoed in her head, like a song that had only existed in dreams until now. She absently wondered if Luke had held onto that as well. It was no wonder she had kept that particular memory suppressed all this time. That time in her life had been particularly painful. Luke had been gentle with her though. Almost all traces of his typical arrogance gone in the two short class periods they’d had to work together. He had kept things light, steering their songwriting in the direction of a rock ballad more than a true duet. Julie hadn’t minded. She had been floating through classes by then anyway, on edge every second she was away from her mom’s bedside. It had been easier to work on something that didn’t have as many sappy emotions attached to it.

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. No wonder Luke had been so sweet with her. He must have had a front row seat to her breakdown throughout the last year. She hadn’t even realized it. Had never before seen the way he watched her from a distance, checked in on her during class. She should have. Now that she was thinking about it, trying to identify every instance, she could name a million. How had she missed it for so long? How had he gone so long without saying anything? The Luke she remembered was terrible at keeping his mouth shut. He had always been ready to speak his mind, never afraid to start a discourse. It didn’t track that he had been holding himself back. Unless...it was more about her musical ability than anything else. She remembered now; Luke had been thrilled to partner with her for the duet. He had made some remark about how her sound was the perfect complement to his. Maybe he only cared about the ways they would mesh as songwriters. She could only hope that’s what his words had meant.

She felt more secure in her footing as a musician when it came to dealing with Luke than she ever had as a simple teenaged girl. If it was just about the music she could compartmentalize better, keep herself from getting too emotionally invested. Music had always been a safe zone, neutral. She breathed in and out deeply, remembering the technique Dr. Turner had taught her to slow her breathing and recenter her mind. She could do this. It was just about the music. They would play a song together, Julie would get back into the music program, and life would move forward much in the way it had before. Except Julie would actually participate in class this time. She had the music back in her soul, she wasn’t ever going to let it go again. On her next exhale, she heard the doorbell ring. Showtime. Julie zipped down the stairs, ripping open the door before her dad had a chance to get more than three feet away from his computer. Luke, Alex and Reggie all stumbled back a step as she tumbled outside, pulling the front door shut behind her. The three teenaged boys shared a look.

“Studio. Now.”

Julie raced down the path to her mom’s studio before they could react, not even waiting to see if they followed her. If they were smart, if they truly wanted to do this, they would. She hauled the garage doors open, only turning around when she had the piano at her back. The wood felt warm and solid, almost like she had her mom as a support behind her instead of an instrument. The boys appeared seconds later, Luke leading the way. He stopped a couple feet inside of the studio, studying her with wide open earnest eyes. She let out a deep breath. Reggie spoke up before she could get a word out.

“Woah, Julie, this studio is so cool! It’s like a tiny home! A musical tiny home in a botanical garden!!”

His green eyes were wide, expression awed as he spun to take in the space that Julie and her mom had spent countless hours turning into theirs.

“How did you get chairs on the ceiling?! Are you, like, a witch and a siren?!! Man, you and your mom must have made some serious magic in here.”

Luke’s arm shot out faster than lightening to backhand Reggie’s bicep. Reggie cringed away, a soft owww! just barely audible over the loud sigh Alex let out as he buried his face in his hands. Reggie shrugged, looking back and forth between his bandmates before giving Julie a confused yet apologetic glance. What had he said wrong this time? The giggle that bubbled out of her was as unexpected as it was welcomed. Warmth blazed in her heart, memories of the time she had spent in here with her mom washing over her with a kind of hazy bliss she hadn’t ever experienced before. She gazed at Reggie, letting that same feeling of motherly love from the night before fill her up. It was all she could do not to react to Luke’s jaw dropping when she gave Reggie a soft smile.

“We did. We made so much magic in here.”

The words were gentle and filled with a kind of genuine love that overshadowed all other feelings of awkward nervousness. Alex and Luke relaxed instantly, Reggie’s face losing all traces of uncertainty as he beamed at her with a smile so large it almost looked painful. Julie couldn’t help but let herself return it, just a little bit. The silence that settled between them was more comfortable, the tense moment from earlier broken. Julie studied the boys in front of her. She hadn’t ever thought of them as friends per se. They knew each other, would say hi if they encountered one another outside the walls of the high school, but at the same time, they didn’t actually know each other. Julie’s little run in with Luke the night before had made that painfully obvious. She wasn’t really sure what to make of them.

“Are you guys actually serious about this whole Showcase scheme? Did Luke even tell you about his dumb plan?”

“Hey! That plan is genius. Even your dad agreed. He seems pretty cool.”

Julie couldn’t help the fond way she rolled her eyes. Alex was quick to reassure her that they did, in fact, know about the plan.

“Not that I actually think it’s a particularly well thought out plan.” He stated with a lingering glare at Luke’s back.

The planner in question did his best to ignore the skeptical look on Julie’s face.

“Julie, you really don’t deserve to be out of the music program.” Reggie’s voice was soft and sincere. “You have the voice of an angel. If we can help convinced Ms. Harrison and Principal Lessa to give you your spot back it will be so worth it. And even if we don’t, it’ll be worth the looks on their faces when we rock the pants off that crowd!”

Julie laughed in spite of herself, slightly reassured even as she chewed nervously on her lip. Luke took a few bouncy steps forward, pulling her attention to him completely. His eyes locked on hers and she was sure she was drowning, throat tightening at the look he was giving her.

“You got this. I wouldn’t have come up with this idea if I didn’t believe it 100%.”

Honestly, that was what scared her the most about it.

“We don’t even have anything prepared.”

Her voice was barely a whisper, unsteady and wavering. Luke took a few more steps towards her, Reggie and Alex ghosting along silently a few feet behind him. Julie didn’t even notice, so laser focused on the brunette boy in the cut-up tank top in front of her. She watched his muscles flex as he reached into his back pocket, flicking out a piece of folded up paper in a move scarily reminiscent of when he had given her mom’s song back to her. He bit his lip, head ducking a little to be closer to hers as he unfolded the worn sheets of scrappy notebook paper. She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, focusing on the messy handwriting in front of her.

“I thought you would say that.”

The smile on his face was so soft and sweet it should have been illegal.

“It’s called ‘Bright’. It’s a Sunset Curve song that we never performed because it’s missing something. Look,” his bare shoulder brushed hers as he shifted to point at the notes, warmth seeping through the thin material of her t-shirt, “it’s perfect for your range. I was thinking, if we add a little bit of piano here and here,” fire blazed a path up her arm as his fingers traced along the opening notes and chorus, forearm flexing against her own, bare skin brushing in teasing licks, “it’ll be perfect.”

Julie forced herself to focus on what he was saying, eyes roving across the paper. She hummed a little under her breath, hearing what he described in her head. His eyes lit up when he saw her get it, feet springing up and down as he dipped even closer towards her and started to sing.

We will rise, through the night

You and I

We will fight to shine together

Bright forever

His voice vibrated in her chest, the sound filling her with an emotion she couldn’t fully identify. Alex and Reggie bobbed along behind him, Reggie’s fingers plucking out the baseline on an invisible guitar while Alex nodded along to an unseen beat. Julie could envision the way the song would sound with a complete band, could practically see herself fitting seamlessly into the mix with her piano and vocals. She couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips as she joined in, reading the lyrics off of the page.

And rise through the night,

You and I

We will fight to shine together

“Go up high.”

Luke cut in, fingers twirling towards the ceiling. Julie automatically made the adjustment in notes to harmonize her voice with his for the last line, holding the final syllable for a beat longer than him.

Bright forever

“Yes!”

Luke’s arm pumped up and down, bicep flexing and distracting Julie momentarily. She dropped her head shyly, trying to hide her blush. When her cheeks cooled a moment later she looked back up at the boy in front of her. His eyes were glowing, smile stretched a mile wide as he stared at her. Unconditional belief in her was practically oozing from his pores. She felt her face soften as their eyes locked, giving him her own sweet smile that was meant just for the two of them. She thanked him with a gentle murmur, heart melting as he simply bit his lower lip and nodded.

A throat cleared in the background, and Julie was snapped out of their private bubble by the sound. Her entire face felt engulfed in flames as she looked over Luke’s shoulder to see Alex and Reggie still standing a few paces behind him. Reggie’s face was bright, his sunshine temperament back in full force. Alex was a little more guarded, but he was giving her an encouraging smile and there was cautious optimism swimming in his sage green eyes as he fiddled with one of his drumsticks. She inhaled deeply and let her breath out in one smooth exhale. The same sort of peacefulness from the night before settled over her.

“Okay. Okay, so we’re doing this.”

Luke’s whoop was so loud both her and Alex jumped. Reggie raced forward with a cheer to sling one arm around Luke’s shoulders and the other around Julie’s, pulling them so close to his chest that their noses nearly touched. Julie saw the blush staining Luke’s cheeks and felt her own warm to match. Alex coughed again.

“Reg, c’mon. Let it settle for just a sec before you go all human octopus on the poor girl.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, Jules!!”

Reggie released both of them quickly. Julie flicked her gaze between the three boys, enjoying the glimpses at their band dynamic. Alex’s words had sounded a bit exasperated, but there was a fondness running through them as well. He gave a half-hearted roll of his eyes at Reggie’s abrupt movements and reached his own long arm out to pull the dark-haired boy close.

“Help me unload the van? I still don’t trust our little Lukey boy with my kit.”

“Hey! That was one time!”

Luke sounded downright offended. The dark look Alex leveled at him in response had Julie choking back a laugh with a badly disguised cough. Clearly once of whatever he did was enough. Luke pouted, arms flexing as they crossed over his chest.

“You put your foot through my bass drum, and you think that isn’t reason enough not to trust you with it ever again?”

Luke sputtered, eyes flicking to Julie and back to Alex as his ears reddened.

“I told you I didn’t see it!”

“It’s the biggest part of the kit, dumbass. Literally the hardest thing to miss.”

Alex’s voice was as unimpressed as it was dismissive. Luke threw his hands in the air as the other boys headed out of the studio, laughing amongst themselves. It was clear this was a regular argument between the two, no heat or anger left in it, only a loving sort of tease. Like the way Carlos still brought up that time she accidentally gave him a concussion double-bouncing him off of their neighbor’s trampoline when he wanted something from her. Or the way her Tía would still laugh as she remembered the time her mom had almost gotten them both arrested for a bar fight on her 21st birthday, Ray affectionately filling in the parts that she tried to leave out. Warmth bloomed in her chest. This wasn’t just a band, wasn’t just a ragtag trio of friends. These guys were brothers. This was a family. And they were letting her into that intimate circle.

The thought was both humbling and nerve-wracking. This Showcase was a big deal. It wasn’t just some school assignment. This could impact their future as a band career-wise. They were all trusting her with this, fully believing in her, or at least, fully believing in Luke’s faith in her abilities. She wasn’t sure anyone had ever believed in her like that. Not anyone that hadn’t known her since she was in diapers. Her head swam, knees feeling a bit weak. She stumbled her way over to the couch, collapsing onto it with a barely audible huff. Luke was in front of her instantly, crouched down so they were face to face. His hands twitched in his lap, but he didn’t reach for her.

“Hey. Julie. Breathe.”

She sucked in a breath, zeroing in on nothing more than his face. After a few seconds she realized he was breathing in and out slowly, just loud enough for her to hear over the jumble of thoughts running amok in her brain. She matched her own inhales and exhales to his, the room slowly coming back into focus as her head cleared. He gave her one of those soft smiles she was starting to think of as hers.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But I wouldn’t have stopped you in school if I didn’t think you were gonna rock it. I heard you last night. I listened to you for years before last night.”

His chin dropped in embarrassment for just a second before he pulled his gaze back up to hers. Julie felt like she was on the edge of a cliff. Not for the first time she wished she knew how long this version of Luke had been lurking under the surface. It took everything in her not to let herself step off that ledge and fall.

“Music is in your soul. It’s a part of you. Not everyone is like that, but you are. Your life without music...”

He tapered off like the thought was physically painful to him, eyebrows furrowing in a slight wince.

“Living without music would be like living in a world without stars: dark and empty and uninspired. You deserve galaxies, Julie. You deserve the chance to shine exactly like the star you are, and the world deserves the chance to hear you. Please, just...have a little faith?”

She saw it then. As he gazed at her with those bottomless ocean eyes, with that special smile on his lips and sincerity bleeding through every word, she knew. Luke was like her. Luke got it. In a way that no one else except her mom ever had. That’s what this was. They were kindred spirits, two sides of the same coin. And that feeling? The wind rushing through her hair and stealing her breath away while her limbs all turned to jelly feeling? That was definitely her falling head over heels off of the cliff and into Luke Patterson completely.

“Okay.”

She breathed out, and his answering smile set off the butterflies she thought had finally left her stomach. He stood up and held a hand out to her, easily pulling her to her feet in one smooth movement.

“You know,” his smile turned rueful, “eventually you’re gonna have to answer one of my questions with something other than ‘okay’. That’s a pretty passive word, and I’m not really a passive type of person. I wanna start hearing some ‘hell yeah’s and ‘awesome’s pretty soon.”

Julie rolled her eyes, moving away from Luke to set up her keyboard. He gave her a bouncy little shrug of his shoulders, and she let the levity of his joke wash over her, releasing the last bit of nerves. She could do this. Luke believed in her. Her mom believed in her. Hell, Alex and Reggie believed in her and she barely even knew them. She could do this, just like her mom had said.

Noise from the other boys making their way up the driveway had her rushing to pull both doors to the studio open so they could haul in Alex’s drum kit. The three of them left together to grab amps and guitars, Julie finishing the rest of the set up in the garage. Before she had time to overthink things or freak out again, they were all settled into their spots and Alex was counting down for their first run through. Fingers against the keys, Julie breathed out, opened her mouth, and began to play.

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allisonxmoynihan · 4 years

Text

love like this ~ o. lindmark

Requested: yes | no

Summary: you and Owen go for a late night drive and end up dancing in the rain to a slow song! (thank you to everyone for the song recs, i loved all of them)

Song: Love Like This by Ben Rector (you can listen to it here)

Word Count: 1,348

The light pitter patter of raindrops against your bedroom window was keeping you up as you tried to sleep, but nevertheless failed. The rain was bringing a cold front as you were forced to say goodbye to the hot, sticky summer days that were filled with endless adventure, and welcome the brisk cold air of autumn. School was just around the corner and you weren’t quite ready to give up having nothing to do every day.

The vibration of your phone takes you away from your thoughts as you look down at the illuminated screen.

Owen 🥰

Can’t sleep

Wanna go for a drive around town? I’ll pick you up in 5

You smile softly as you slip out the comfort of your bed to slide on one of Owen’s hoodies that you took from last week’s bonfire, jeans, and some sandals. You tiptoe down the stairs, carefully avoiding the creaky spots so you don’t wake your parents. You see a pair of headlights peak into your living room window for a fleeting second before they disappear and you know Owen’s finally here.

You run out the door, anxiously shutting the door behind you, scared that your parents must have heard you by now. You slide into the passenger seat of his mom’s car, smiling up at his big chestnut brown eyes.

“Hi,” you breathe out

He laughs, shaking his head slightly before reversing slowly down your driveway, “fancy seeing you here y/n”

You scoff, instantly swallowing to try and hide your smile, “uh huh, whatever mr. ‘i can’t sleep’”

Owen’s cheeks grow a dusty red, “the rain was loud,” he mutters under his breath slowing for the stop sign at the end of your street.

You smile, watching the windshield wipers wipe the pellets of rain out of the way, “Yeah, it was almost like fireworks,”

He shakes his head before proceeding to the main road, “you’re a little shit, you know that right?”

You shrug your shoulders, turning the volume on the radio up, “where we going?”

Owen glances over his left shoulder before switching lanes, “oh, um, i don’t know”

You slide your sandals off, pulling your legs into your chest, “can we get ice cream?”

Owen laughs, “sorry to burst your bubble y/n, but it’s 3 a.m., I don’t think anyone’s open,”

You pout, punching his arm playfully, “you’re no fun o, why’d you come get me then?”

Owen’s face goes flat for a split second before he forces out a laugh, “for some reason i like spending time with you,”

The two of you repeatedly drive up and down the narrow lanes of main street through the downtown of your hometown. You and Owen find yourselves laughing and reminiscing over the past summer’s adventures together, the trips to state parks you made, stargazing at night, many late night drives, and of course the bonfire. You weren’t ready for school to start and for him to go back to michigan, deep down in the bottom of your heart you wished you could just keep him here with you for your senior year.

What was once a drizzle had quickly turned into a harsh downpour, the raindrops rebounding off the pavement of the road. It was as if ocean waves were washing up against the windshield, prohibiting Owen from seeing the road clearly. His hands were turning an almost transparent white, gripping the steering wheel so tightly.

“Hey, owen?” you pause, worry filling your voice, “I think we should pull over until it clears up”

Owen looks over and his face softens, one of his hands going over and giving your hand a squeeze, “we’re gonna be okay y/n”

You wake up, pressed against the car door, looking out the window and seeing the two of you were in a target parking lot. The clock on the dashboard showed it was nearing 5 a.m.

“Oh, sorry, hope i didn’t wake you” owen smiles at you before going back to the aux cord that was now hooked up, “come on,”

You look at him confused, “owe-” you’re cut off by the slamming of the car door and your eyes follow him around the front of the car confused. He opens up the passenger door and extends his hand out to you, “c’mon,”

“Owen what are you doing? Target’s closed.”

Nevertheless Owen grabs a hold of your hand before leaning over and turning the volume up on the car, “yes, target is closed. That’s a good observation,” he smiles cheekily, waltzing the two of you into the parking space next to yours.

His arms snake around your waist, pulling you close to him. You feel a light blush creeping up your cheeks, a smile taking over your face.

“What are you doing Owen?” you laugh, trying to be mad at him but your arms inevitably find their way around his neck.

“Shh,” he coos, gently swaying the two of you back and forth, the rain continuing to fall down on top of you.

You hear a light piano melody sing out of his car speakers as a male sings his love out to a girl who has transformed his life. It was in this moment you realized how happy and content you were with Owen, how imagining your future without him in it was unfathomable. You looked into his eyes and saw the next eighty years of your life play out before you. You rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat, him pressing gentle kisses to the top of your head.

“y/n?” owen asks, letting out a shaky breath, as if he’s been holding it in this whole time.

You feel the butterflies in your stomach, the ones that never really left since you first met him, take flight again, bubbling over with anticipation with what he was going to say next.

“I don’t really know how to say it, or if I even should say it at all…” he starts to ramble on and you feel your heart sink deep into your chest, lowering your eyes so you’re not looking into his.

“Anyway, i’ve been wanting to tell you for a bit now, but it never felt like the right time, and um,”

“Is everything okay?” you ask, lifting your head up to look him in the eyes once again.

“I love you,” he blurts out, and you’re immediately taken aback.

A moment of silence passes by before Owen lowers his eyes as his lower lip begins to quiver slightly, “forget it, i shouldn’t’ve said anything,”

You stand up on your tippy-toes, pressing a slow kiss to his lips, “you love me?”

Owen’s eyes light up, “well of course i do, y/n, i always have and i think i always will.”

You’re radiating positivity at his words as you hear the lyrics serenade outwards, “It's a million things about you, and I don't know what it is, but I have never known a love like this”

“Lucky you owee, because I love you too,”

He laughs, pressing his forehead against yours and peppering your face in kisses, “good, ‘cause i was kinda hoping we were gonna be stuck together for awhile.”

At 5:45 you slip in through your front door, trying to sneak back up to your room before either of your parents can notice that you were ever gone. But you’re startled at the sound of someone clearing their throat in the next room over. You peak your head in to see your mom and dad drinking their morning coffee, your dog sleeping up against your mom’s legs.

“How was Owen?” your mom asks, hiding her smile by taking a sip of her coffee.

“Nice of him to have you home at a reasonable hour…” your dad mumbles, looking up and laughing at the deep red that was filling your face.

You groan, becoming a deer in headlights, before running up the stairs to your room, wanting to relive this perfect night with Owen over and over again for the foreseeable future.

#owen lindmark #wisconsin hockey #trevor zegras #alex turcotte #cole caufield #jack hughes #ntdp #ntdp imagine #hockey imagine #ryder donovan #shay donovan #owen lindmark imagine #hockey

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heartbreakgrill · 4 years

Text

That Smile; Luke Hemmings

description: in which you’re a songwriter, working on Youngblood with 5sos, when a certain blonde catches your eyes.

a/n: there will be a part 2 for this!

“AHHHH!” You threw your green mechanical pencil across the room. It bounced off of the wall, snapping in half, and landing in separate places. One ended up by the door by your shoes, the other on the couch, beside your purse, jacket, and water bottle.

A voice crackled through the speaker system, obvious laughter being bitten back. “Y/N, are you okay?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, hands in fists on either of your temples. You were on the floor, on your back, skinny jean clad legs sprawled out in front of you. Your t-shirt was ridden up on your stomach, revealing a thin strip of your skin to the room, which you were now realizing was freezing. Through welling goosebumps, you grumbled, “I’m never okay, Brad. You know this.”

“I had to check. We have legal obligations in the workplace,” he responded, this time chuckling throughout his spiel.

“Damn, OSHA,” you mumbled into your bottom lip.

Brad hesitated before his voice echoed back in, “They’re here, by the way. Making their way back now.”

“I’m not getting up yet. I’m still moping over my inability to properly write a single-“ your voice rose into a yell now, “fucking line about a stupid fucking boy!”

It was now that you realized the door to the studio was open with the head of receptionist Cindy in the room. “Is this a bad time?”

“I get paid to do this, I have no say,” you dropped your hands to your sides. “Let ‘em in.”

The four lanky boys shuffled in, two dressed like it was New York Fashion Week, the other two lazed about in sweatpants and hoodies. They stood awkwardly against the wall, unsure of how to go about greeting someone having a mental breakdown on the ground below them.

“Hello, I’m sorry, I’m trying to recover,” you began to sit up, back cracking in the process. You straightened your shirt out, catching eyes with the tall blonde. You swear, in the most cringey way, your breath caught in your lungs.

“You’re okay, we go through similar processes,” a curly headed, dirty blond remarked, giggling lightly.

“Yeah, I have plenty of photos of Calum laying on the floor like you were,” long fringe, bright eyes. Michael, perhaps?

You had familiarized yourself with photos of them on the internet, but were not at all confident you knew who they were. In fact, you couldn’t recall anyone’s name when the tall blonde who stole your breath offered his hand. You took it, your hand completely encased in his warm one. Without much efforts, he pulled you off the ground, nearly flush against his chest. But, you made sure to step back when you stood.

“Thanks,” you sighed, shuffling to the couch in your sock-clad feet. “Uh, I’m Y/N,” you introduced while clearing the seating area for them, “I’m sorry, I dont really know your names. Could you-?”

“Luke,” he stuck out the same hand for you to shake; you did.

Michael was who you suspected, Calum the jet black haired man Michael had mentioned, and Ashton the giggly one. You situated yourselves on the couches once you demanded they make themselves at home.

“So, this is your third album?” Of course you knew their music. If you were pairing with an artist on a new project, you had to familiarize yourself with their sound. You couldn’t write a Taylor Swift-like song for Lil Uzi Vert.

“Yeah,” Ashton answered, seemingly the spokesperson for the band. He was sat on the couch across from you, with Calum, Michael in the computer chair by the recording equipment. Luke was beside and, damn, did he smell good.

“What’s the motive?” They looked confused at the question, sharing a furrowed look. With a quick tuck of your legs underneath you on the couch, you launched into explanation, eyes moving from boy to boy. “So, you’re first album was very teen punk, kinda edgy, but safe with cute love songs and innocent forever young vibes. Sounds Good, Feels Good was super grunge with ballads about your actual feelings, a few love songs, and a handful of those same forever young vibes. It was, like, healing for you, almost. Like an album meant to truly introduce your fans to who you are. What do you want to say with this one?”

Luke cleared his throat beside you, “I dont know that we really have a vision with this one. We never really do.”

“Gosh,” you laughed, “no wonder they hired you guys a new songwriter. You have to have a plan! Otherwise it takes way too long and you have no idea what you’re doing. You’ve managed to do awesome without me, but this album, I promise, is going to be amazing.”

They, collectively, grinned at you. “I dont know about you, boys, but Ive got fucking chills!” Ashton exclaimed, shoving Calums shoulder, glancing at Michael.

You grinned back, proud with yourself and your words. You looked over at Luke who had a twinkle in his eyes, a smaller smile that seemed reserved for admiration to you.

You’d see that smile many times again throughout the process of writing their new album, later titled Youngblood after the first song you wrote together.

Ashton thought you were a bloody genius, as he would say, again and again.

“Its just a simple lyrical progression, Ash,” you coined his nickname a week into the process, “not that big of a deal.”

He still grinned, continuing to flip at your ‘talent’ with the randomest things.

When Youngblood, the song, was completely recorded and produced, you had a listening party in the small recording studio. You’d baked cupcakes and cookies for everyone, Calum had popped some champagne, and Michael brought his girlfriend along for the celebration.

You got along with Crystal well, chattering about makeup, music, and many other things before Brad came into the room with a frog shaped file USB. You stood from the couch beside Crystal and moved to stand beside Luke, who just so happened to be standing in the spot you wanted to. He smiled down at you, bouncing on his heels in excitement.

As Brad set up the file, Luke said, “The cupcakes are really good. As are the cookies, and the song. Everything, really.”

He was nervous around you. He was never nervous around girls. But something about your overwhelming talent, immense beauty, and super sweet personality made him jittery. He held tightly to his paper cup, nearly breaking in from his squeezing knuckles.

“Thank you, Luke,” you set a hand on his shoulder, prepared to say something else when the song began.

You’d heard it prior to this to ensure that it wouldn’t be utter crap. It was amusing and prideful for you to watch everyone’s jaws drops, to see Calum drop onto the couch with his head in his hands. Ashton danced around, Crystal leaned against Michael, praising his guitar and vocal bits. As the beat picked up and, soon, as it ended, Luke turned to you, lifted you in his arms, and spun you around. You were laughing, head thrown back, hands clutching at his hoodie-clad shoulders. When he set you down, you were still laughing, as was he. His laugh faded into that smile, that stupid smile.

The next time you saw it was halfway through the album. You had been losing sleep, between handling 5sos as a client and, now, Taylor Swift, who noticed your work through a friend. She wanted a new song, something uplifting and sweet. You agreed to help, not realizing that, now, you were overloaded. And, you weren’t able to devote your time to just 5sos.

One day, at the end of a long studio day, Luke noticed you on the floor of the recoding studio. Youd set yourself there when the boys starting gathering up their things, bidding your farewells with weary hands. Your eyes were no shut, hands resting on your stomach. Luke watched the boys leave and, having driven himself there, sat down beside you. He nudged your leg, gaining your attention through weary eyes.

“Hi,” he smiled, not quite in that way, but still sweetly. “Are you okay?”

“Stressed. Tired. Sick of writing. I haven’t been out with friends in so long and i want to, but all of my friends have normal lives with normal jobs. So they wont go with me during the week, and I cant on the weekends, because Ive been busy with Taylor Swift. God, never thought I’d say that sentence. Anyways, I just really want to get drunk and dance and then cry to someone about being sad, single, and so, so tired.”

“Well,” Luke resisted the urge to pick you up, place you in his lap, cradle you and coo you to sleep, “I’m sure I can urge Ash to have a party in his house. There’s plenty of people who dont care about their jobs or dont even have ‘em.”

You lifted yourself up on to your knees, “I would literally write you, like, an entire song if you got him to do that. I need a night away.”

“No need, I’m fine with one dance reserved for me,” there was the smile. “Oh, and a shot. We have to do a shot together.”

“I would do a million shots with you.”

He walked you to the parking lot, to your car, leaning against the door frame while you turned it on and buckled your seat belt. “Okay, so, Ill send you his address, and see you in a few hours?”

“See you.”

Now, what the hell were you going to wear?

#luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #luke hemmings fluff #5sos fam #5sos x you #5sos x reader #5sos fanfic #calm 5sos #calm 5 seconds of summer

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

Text

Journey Man || Namjoon X Reader [Zip Series]

A/N: Another instalment of my Zip Series I’m doing :)

Word Count: 8,157

Genre: Fluff || Cute || Romantic || Did I mention Fluff? Because Fluff || Angst??

Summary:Your best friend asks you to travel to Paris with him for a week long trip together, you jump at the chance because you hadn’t seen him much, but was being with your crush and in the most romantic place in the world a good idea?!

When your best friend of 16 years asked if you wanted to go on a holiday with him you jumped at the chance, you’d not seen him much since he debuted and you wanted to spend time with him again like the old days. He told you it was a week-long break in Paris, promising you it was going to be a nice break for you both, you could get some snapshots for Instagram and the photography hobby you were really into and he could get some inspiration for some new songs from everything around him in Paris. He had the whole week planned out and ready for you both, with secret activities for you to do.

“Trust me little one.” He chuckled as you complained about not knowing anything about what was going to happen, you hated the nickname he used for you, just because you were shorter than him and everyone else in the group, and you did trust your best friend but it was a little harder to trust him when you had no idea what clothes to pack.

“We’re going to Paris so just pack lightly, and bring your camera.” He said from your bed, he was sprawled out scrolling his phone while you tried to think of what pack lightly meant. You looked through the wardrobe door to see him smiling like a mad man on his phone again, you felt a pang of jealousy run through you at whoever was making his dimples pop out like that, you pushed the feeling aside and went back into the wardrobe, searching through the closet. You and Namjoon had been best friends since you were 10 years old, you moved in next door to him and became the best of friends, but when you turned 17 something changed for you, you started seeing him in a different light, maybe it was because he was starting to take his music seriously, he always took it seriously but then he was really getting into it, plus it was always more attractive to you when a guy had real ambitions, you used to both stay up long at night coming up with lyrics together for him to rap, and you still had a few songs you’d written stashed away in a box in your wardrobe, never to see the light of day again because they were terrible, but you kept them for memories. Along with the polaroid photos you had of you and him together, birthday cards from him and an old diary entry your diary that you ripped out, hiding it away in case Namjoon ever found out where your diary was hidden, it was an extract about a kiss you shared with Namjoon, you could still remember the night as if it was just yesterday.

“Joonie…Do you think I will ever find someone to love?” You questioned out of the blue one night, you were laid under the stars in your garden, looking up at the moon and stars because neither of you could sleep that night, he had the genius idea of camping out to look at the sky together, which lead to deep conversations out there.

“What do you mean?” He questioned, sitting up from the grass and turning to look at you, you did the same, facing him and then looking at the blades of grass you were twisting between your fingers.

“I mean, we’re 17…Everyone else has had their first love, you did, Yoongi has even though he won’t tell anyone else about it…Even Kookie.” Namjoon chuckled at you and you sighed, laying your head down on his lap and looking up at him, you took some blades of grass and ran them along his chin.

“I’m serious Joonie. I’m 17 years old and never even had my first kiss, do you have any idea how pathetic-” You couldn’t finish your sentence because his lips were suddenly on yours, he’d bent down, pulling his knees up a little so you would meet him halfway, you were shocked at first, your eyes widened at the action but you leant into it, your eyes fluttering shut as the kiss continued. You could have sworn this is what everyone wrote love songs about, the butterflies in your stomach, your head scrambling on what to do with your hands, your hands sweating because of the nerves you were experiencing and then there was everything you were feeling, it felt like your whole body was on fire, sparks coming from your body, as if there was a huge sign above you, saying you were now in love with your best friend, your best friend who had just bitten down on your bottom lip and pulled away from you.

“Now you’ve had your first kiss.” He whispered to you, helping you stand up and walking you to your back door, neither of you speaking a word to each other, he watched you go inside before going home to bed.

Neither you or Namjoon spoke about that kiss ever again, it was as if it never happened and you couldn’t be 100% sure it did, you could have dreamed it, it felt as though you’d dreamt it but it felt too perfect for it to be fake, you didn’t think you could ever imagine something so perfect, it was the moment you knew you were stuck on him for life. You snapped out of your daydream when you heard him talking down the phone to someone, you shook the thought out of your head, going back to the task at hand and trying to push the nine-year-old kiss out of your mind and pack your things, Namjoon left your room and you knew because he shut the door behind him and everything fell into a silence again, whoever he was talking to must have been important because he never left a room to just talk on the phone, you sighed again, you didn’t need to think of him like that again, sure your feelings for Namjoon were still strong, stronger than ever when you thought of that first kiss you shared but your friendship meant more to you than some silly little schoolgirl crush, or young adult crush now you were both 26 years old, but he was a big star now and didn’t need his best friend holding him back.

The plane journey was pretty simple, you slept the whole thing away since it was a 12-hour flight, Namjoon spent it in and out of sleep, writing lyrics or watching some movie that was available for you to watch, he would occasionally take a small nap with you, leaning his head on top of yours and putting a blanket around the pair of you. He knew the jetlag was going to be a real pain but he’d done this a million times before and knew how to deal with it, he was used to it by now.

You groaned as you laid on the single bed, you’d gotten a shared room with two queen-sized beds. The hotel was incredible, he’d gone all out on the hotel, The Shangri-La Hotel Paris, you’d read about it a few months ago with Hoseok, you’d been planning a dream holiday and you had no idea that Namjoon knew about it. The room was all white with a blue carpet, twin beds were laid out in front of balcony doors which looked out at the Eiffel Tower, the balcony had it’s own furniture on it too, it was like an apartment, you were pretty sure it cost more than your apartment.

“This place is unbelievable Joonie,” You whispered, getting up from the bed and going over to the balcony doors, you watched the Eiffel Tower as it twinkled, it was pitch black outside beside the odd street lights and the lights on the tower, Namjoon was in the bathroom doing something and you opened the doors on the balcony and walked out, you walked over to the metal bars and leant against them, just watching as the lights changed on the Eiffel tower, you were so lost in your world you hadn’t noticed Namjoon come out of the bathroom, he stared at you for a couple of seconds before snapping a photo of you on his phone.

“It’s beautiful.” He said, coming out to the balcony and joining you by your side, you smiled at him and then looked down at the people on the streets, they were all heading towards a market place.

“We should go and have a look, we both have jetlag anyway.” You said looking at him with your puppy dog eyes, he could never say no to you whenever you gave him them.

“Get a coat, I don’t want you complaining at me if you get sick.” He mentioned going back inside to get his coat and wallet.

“Joonie look!” You yelled him over, he’d been taking pictures of the Eiffel tower while you wandered off in front, you found a cute stall selling smaller versions of the Eiffel tower that lit up, and smaller keychains.

“We have to get some for the boys.” You said, choosing six of each one and paying for them, Namjoon watched as you thanked the man in French and then came back to his side.

“Where’s mine?” He questioned acting offended, you giggled pushing him away from you and then looking at the moon right about the tower.

“You’re here with me, you don’t get one.” You mumbled, taking out your camera and snapping some shots of the scene, you couldn’t wait to show Jungkook, Taehyung and Yoongi, you all liked to share your photography, Yoongi was teaching you some new skills with the camera you’d gotten as well, you’d dragged him camera shopping trusting his judgement to help you choose one you would like and would take good photos.

“Well, next time I go somewhere and even think of getting you something I won’t.” He grumbled playfully, taking the camera from your hands and making you stand in front of the Eiffel Tower.

“Please be careful Joonie…It’s not a joke, please.” He pretended to drop it and you stopped smiling, he was clumsy enough without pretending at the same time, he saw how serious you were and stopped, getting ready to snap a few shots of you, you were so used to being behind the camera you didn’t know what to do with yourself, you were a blushing mess when he began yelling out directions for you to follow, people all turning to watch as you posed for him, doing silly faces and then some serious shots.

“You’re too cute.” You heard him mumbled as he flicked through the photos, you tried to ignore the fact that your stomach was now doing backflips from his small comment about you being cute, he did this all the time, you reminded yourself, he always compliments his friends. You said to yourself, which he did, whenever any of the boys were being cute he would tell them, you lost count of the number of times he told them they were being cute, you pushed away from the feelings and looked around for something to eat, your stomach was growling and it sounded as though it was about ready to bite off someone’s arm.

“I’m starving Joon, let’s go get pancakes or something.” He stared at you as you packed away the camera, he loved that no matter what time of day it was, you wanted breakfast items to eat, pancakes had always been a favourite of yours and that’s why whenever it was your birthday he would come round and make them for you, but if he was away on tour he would order them at his hotel room and sit on a facetime call with you while you ate them.

“You’re always starving.” He said dramatically, linking your arms together and walking towards a restaurant close to the hotel. This was a normal, friendly interaction, you would link arms and walk together, it was just something you’d always done, you were so close it wasn’t weird. A lot of things you did together weren’t supposed to be “normal” in a boy/girl friendship but you did it anyway, you would snuggle together and watch movies, cuddle if you couldn’t fall asleep, call one another with exciting news before you told anyone else. Namjoon first told you about their debut date before he told his parents, he called you the moment he found out and you screamed down the phone with him, planning a celebration together with the rest of the boys. That was the second kiss you’d ever shared, in all of the excitement you got rushed up in, you kissed him.

“I would just like to say a few words.” You said, clearing your throat and standing in front of all the boys. You were at the dorms, throwing a small get together, really small because it was just you, and them all in the dorms having a few drinks, although Jungkook wasn’t legal yet you snuck him a few drinks here and there, ignoring the looks from Jin, and him calling you a “bad influence,” all eyes were on you as you stood on the sofa looking down at them.

“I’ve known Joonie here for a long ass time and WHEN, not If, but WHEN, you become these big idols I want it known, that…” You paused for dramatic effect and Jungkook did a drumroll with his feet, earning a playful eye-roll from Namjoon.

“Namjoon is and will always be my best friend before any of you fuckers and if he forgets about me when he’s famous I will go to the presses and sell my story about how I was long forgotten and I will expose you all.” You giggled chugging back the rest of your drink and jumping down from the sofa, stumbling a little and falling into Namjoon’s arms, all the boys were off doing their own thing, it was just you and him in the living room now, you looked up at him with a smile and he looked down at you with one, his dimples on full display, he reached down and stroked your cheek, you giggled as it tickled your skin and then you just did it, you stood up on your tiptoes and put your lips against his, the music that was blaring out of the speakers suddenly drowned out, the room was filled with silence, your hands wrapped around his neck as you dragged him down closer to you, his hands snaked around your waist and pulled your body closer to him, he wanted to pick you up and wrap you around his body but the sound of a glass breaking interrupted your kiss, you sprung away from him and he went over to the kitchen to find Jimin had knocked over one of the mugs, you said a quick and quiet goodbye to Yoongi and Jin who were now back in the living room and left. Neither of you spoke about that night again, he was probably too drunk to remember the way he held you in his arms but you weren’t, you could still feel the way his thumb ran along your cheek, and the way his stubble poked your skin when you got closer to him, and the way his hair felt in your fingertips.

“Y/n?” He questioned waving his hand in front of your face, you snapped out of your daydream and looked at him, you were sitting in a restaurant with food in front of you, specifically, pancakes were in front of you, drizzled in chocolate with mini marshmallows placed along with them.

“Hmm, what did you say? I was in my own world.” You said to him, reaching and taking the hot chocolate that was in front of you and sipping on it, he chuckled at you, you had a blush on your cheek which meant you were thinking of something you loved, your ears were a bright red colour too and he looked down at his plate of pancakes.

“I was just telling you the plan for tomorrow,” You nodded for him to continue watching as his face lit up talking about the museums you were going to be visiting on your trip, his mouth turned up at the sides whenever he mentioned the museums, and his dimples would show more because he was talking about something he loved so much, when he noticed you staring he got a little shy, though he would never admit it to you, he looked down at the table for a second, scratching his eyebrow before clearing his throat and continuing his talk.

“Tomorrow we’re going to the Louvre Museum,” he placed a piece of pancake into his mouth and you nodded, leaning across the table and wiping the chocolate away from his lip.

“Sounds like a fun-packed day.” You smiled, it was true, you were genuinely excited to go to museums with him, it’s what you used to do back home as well, you both loved going to different museums, you looked at him before going back to your food and trying not to think about how adorable he looked when he got excited about museums.

“We should try and get some sleep when we go back to the hotel, maybe an hour or two, I don’t want us to get halfway through the day and want to go back halfway through the day.” He said looking up at you, you were staring down into the mug, eyes drooping a little as the tiredness finally caught up to you, he chuckled as you fought to keep your eyes open.

“You can sleep at the hotel, I’m not carrying you back there.” He warned you, poking your cheek with his finger playfully and making you laugh,

“I’ll be fine. I’m not even that tired.”

You lied, you ended up falling asleep in the taxi back to the hotel, you were out cold on his shoulder when you reached the big black gates so he paid the driver and carried you out of the car, putting you on his back, which was a struggle since you were asleep and not cooperating with him on that, he brought you up to your room, laying you down on your bed, putting you under the covers and tucking you in, smiling as you smiled in your sleep, your head snuggled against the pillow and he moved a stray hair from out of your face, watching as whatever you were dreaming about made you stir a little in your sleep, the corners of your lip were twitching and your eyes were fluttering, and you were letting out small little whimpers and giggles in your sleep.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He whispered, going over to his side of the room and setting an alarm for you to both get up for in the morning.

You were walking through the Entrance at I.M Pei’s pyramid, it was a breathtaking view, you couldn’t believe you were standing in the entrance, gazing up in shock at the ceiling, your mouth was hanging up a little and Namjoon chuckled as you span around looking up at nothing but the ceiling, he snapped a few photos of you on his phone, showing the group chat your amazement before coming over to your side, he was dressed in some blue jeans, a tan shirt and some sunglasses, trying to keep a low profile while you were both out sightseeing, no one knew where he was except the boys and you.

“Did you know it contains around 673 glass panes…Many people thought it was 666 but it’s not.” You whispered turning your attention to Namjoon who was staring at you in awe as you spat off facts to him about the building you were currently standing in.

“Others say its 689.” He said back to you, you smiled as he said this, he didn’t find your knowledge of useless facts boring or stupid, he liked that you gave him facts, things he didn’t know before or even things he did know. He liked to have long conversations about different topics with you, it’s why you got along so well as friends.

“You should start a blog.” He mentioned as you walked further into the museum together, you looked at him questioning if he was serious or not and he was, he had a look in his eye, the look he always had when he came up with an idea.

“I don’t think anyone would want to ready about my boring life.” You said with a laugh, walking over to some paintings and reading through the plaques, he watched as you squinted a little, you’d forgotten your glasses back home so you would be doing it for most of the trip, but he found it cute. The way your nose scrunched up when you did squint to read or see something and the way your eyebrows would frown together when you struggled to read something. You looked back at him and then smiled grabbing his hand and dragging him over to another set of paintings when you realised you were missing the best one, he watched you, biting down on his lip as you tapped an elderly lady on her shoulder, she turned to smile at you and you smiled back,

“Bonjour, pourriez - vous me dire où est la Peinture de mona lisa, s'il Vous plaît.” His mouth fell open as you spoke fluently in french to the elderly lady in front of you, you were full of surprises. He knew you spoke some french but he had no idea you were that good at it, that you could walk up to someone and have a fluent conversation with them, he continued watching in Awe as you threw your head back in a giggle fit, the elderly lady said something to compliment you then turned to look at Namjoon, his mouth shut not wanting to get caught staring at you with his mouth dropped open and she whispered something to you, whatever it was she said that Namjoon couldn’t hear caused you to blush a bright red colour and giggle at her, he continued looking at you both as she walked away, you thanked her quickly and going back to Namjoon’s side.

“This way.” You said taking his wrist and pulling him towards the Mona Lisa painting, you’d been wanting to see it since you heard about it in art class, it was everyone’s favourite. Very cliche but it was Paris after all, it was full of cliches.

“What did she say to you?” He questioned looking at the back of your head as you pulled him through different crowds of people, some in school uniforms, some just scattered about, you bit down on your lip trying to follow the directions she’d given you, you always had trouble remembering which was left and right in French, but that’s when you saw it, well the crowd of people surrounding the painting.

“Isn’t she beautiful.” You whispered dropping your hand from around Namjoon and going to the back of the crowd to get a glimpse of it, he was still wondering what the woman had said to make you blush so much but once he saw how fixated you were on the painting all of the thoughts were gone from his mind, he joined your side again, listening as you told him facts he already knew about it, but he didn’t care, he wanted to listen to you talk to him.

The bookshop inside of the museum was huge, bigger than any bookshop you’d been to before, you told Namjoon you wanted to get some gifts for the boys, you wanted to buy a painting book for Taehyung specifically so you were on the hunt for it while Namjoon was on the hunt for his presents to get everyone, then he spotted a book on the Mona Lisa, and he picked it up, adding it to his basket for you, keeping it as a surprise, you’d always hated when he bought you things, it never stopped him though.

“Joonie look.” You giggled coming over and holding up a keychain, he looked at it and smiled. It was a heartshaped keychain with a photo of you and him inside, you’d taken a selfie in front of a mirror together inside of the musuem, you knew you weren’t to post it anywhere since he didn’t want everyone knowing where he was just yet, he’d made you promise to wait before posting on your social media, you loved the photo so much though and wanted to print it off, you were going to put it back in your memory box when you got home for safekeeping but Namjoon had other ideas, he took it from you and attached it to his keys.

“Joonie!” You pouted, your bottom lip sticking out as you tried to give him your best puppy dog eyes to give it back to you, he looked down at you and you kept your lip out, hoping this would work, for a second you thought he was leaning down towards you and your heart almost skipped a beat but he chuckled walking away from you and going to pay for the items he’d picked up, you stayed there for a moment. Heart racing as you thought of how he looked at you like that, the way he looked perfect under the skylight of the shop you were in, you took a deep breath and moved away, going outside to get some fresh air and calm your racing thoughts. The elderly lady’s words from earlier coming crashing back to you like waves on a beach,

“Il n'y a qu'une seule raison, un garçon comme lui amènerait une fille comme toi à Paris … jeune amour.” You thought you’d lost the ability to speak French fluently when you heard her. “There is only one reason a boy like him, brings a girl like you to Paris…Young love.” You shook your head as if trying to scramble the words out of your head like an Etch-A-Sketch. Namjoon wasn’t in love with you, you were in love with him.

“Can you not just admit we’re lost?!” You yelled at Namjoon as you walked through the same footpath you’d been on for the last two hours, it was now dark outside and no one else was around. It was the last night of your trip and he’d promised he knew what he was doing. The last six days of your break had been amazing, you’d gone to different museums in the area, gone on a balloon ride in Parc Andre Citroen, he took you everywhere. Even had a fancy meal in one of the Eiffel Tower restaurants, you were being spoilt for time with him and every day you found yourself falling more and more in love with him, which wasn’t the purpose of the trip. The purpose of the trip was to spend time together since you didn’t get to do that much anymore, you didn’t want to fall more in love with him. You wanted to stay friends, you had to. You didn’t want to risk losing him at all, he was everything to you.

“We’re not lost, I know exactly where I’m going.” He said as he turned a corner, over a small wooden bridge, you slowly followed behind him, your legs were tired and you wanted to sit down. He’s brought you on a “small” hike to go and see something, he was keeping it a surprise though, and halfway on the “small” hike he lost the map he’d been using and now you were going round in what seemed like circles.

“Namjoon, please. I just need a minute.” You panted, leaning against the wooden bridge and looking at the lake below, he came back over to you and sighed patting the top of your head as you pouted out your bottom lip.

“I’m sorry…I thought that I would be able to find it without the map.” He said with a sigh, you shook your head and looked at him.

“It’s fine, we’ll find it. I just need a minute, my legs ache.” You pouted, he snickered as you pouted out your bottom lip dramatically at him, he took no time in bending down and throwing you over his shoulder, continuing to walk.

“Put me down Joonie-Ah!” You screamed as he pretended to drop you like he had your camera on the first night there, he chuckled starting to run with you over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift and you closed your eyes holding onto him tighter as he did so, you didn’t want him to drop you on your head as he ran, he was known for being clumsy.

“I know it’s around here somewhere.” He said to you, as you turned over a new bridge, finally, you were getting somewhere you hadn’t been before and it wasn’t the same tree over and over again. Namjoon stopped for a moment and switched you onto his back so he wasn’t carrying you in a fireman’s lift anymore, you laid your head down in his neck and closed your eyes for a few seconds.

“You better know where it is, or we’re camping out under the stars for the night.” You yawned, his breath hitched as he felt you breathing against his neck, your lips close to his skin, he began walking at a faster pace when he found it.

“See, I told you I knew what I was doing.” He said nudging you, you opened your eyes to see what he was talking about and you almost fell off his back, you were wide awake now, all thoughts of being sleepy gone out of your body. There was a huge white temple with a Bouchardon statue inside, you slid down off his back and slowly walking inside of it, looking up at the patterns on the ceiling of the temple and then at the statue, it was unimaginable. You’d never thought you’d get to come here, you didn’t even know Namjoon knew you wanted to come here, you’d only ever wrote about it in a project for school before and now you were living it.

“Joonie it’s-"

"I know.” He finished, neither of you able to put into words what the place was like, it was unspeakable, you both stood under the statue looking up at it and you could feel his hand brushing against yours.

“Thank you Joonie.” You whispered to him, not knowing why but feeling the need to be quiet in this situation.

“For what?” He questioned looking at you as you took out your camera and began taking snapshots for the blog he’d convinced you to start up, you even took a few shots of him while he had his back to you,

“Bringing me here, I never thought I’d get to come to Paris.” You whispered packing up the camera and joining his side, you were both sitting on the steps of the temple looking at the lake, he lent back on his hands and cocked his head to the side.

“I heard you and Hobi talking about it, I wanted to surprise you.” You smiled at him and leant your head on his shoulder, you felt your heart rate quicken at the contact with him, it felt perfect, something that only happened in romance novels and movies. You didn’t want to move from his side.

“It’s beautiful, I love it Joonie.” He moved forward and you took your head off his shoulder, he turned to look at you with a smile and you smiled back at him, neither of you said anything, but it wasn’t an awkward silence, he leant closer to you and your heart almost stopped beating entirely, as if it had given up hope on ever beating normally again, his eyes were closed and you knew it was coming, you closed your eyes as you got within an inch of him, your faces were almost touching when he let out a shaky breath, clearing his throat and pulling away from you, his eyes opened at the same time as yours.

“That’s what friends are for, right?” He said standing up and brushing off the jeans he was wearing, it was clear to you know that he didn’t see you as anything more than a friend and you felt like a fool for, ever thinking differently over the past week.

“I’m going to head back to the hotel, I’m really tired.” you lied not wanting to look at him right now, he was standing under the statue again, he hummed at you, neither of you looking at one another.

“You’ll be okay on your own?” You questioned looking at him but he didn’t look back at you, only nodded so you left the temple, trying to find your way back out of the park.

“Joonie?” You groaned making your way over to his side of the hotel room and shaking his bed, your eyes adjusted to the limited light in the room and you realised he still wasn’t back yet, your eyes shot open with concern, you’d left the part three hours ago, you rushed to the side of the room hitting the light switch on and trying to find your phone to call him.

“Joonie where are you?” You asked into his voicemail, hanging up and trying again a few moments later but again it was going straight to voicemail.

“Namjoon you’re worrying me now, where the fuck are you?” You hung up and put the phone on loud, dropping it onto the bed and going to find some sweatpants to change into, you were dressed in one of his shirts, you came back from the park and crawled into bed in his shirt because you wanted to feel close to him even if he didn’t want that with you.

“Joonie please, this isn’t some kind of joke, call me as soon as you get all of these messages.” You checked what time it would be back home and called Hoseok first but he wasn’t picking up so you tried Jin next, hopefully, he’d called one of them to check-in or something, on the third ring you noticed that Namjoon’s suitcase was missing out of the room, and so were the gifts he’d been buying along the trip.

“Hello?” You heard Jin say from the other line but you couldn’t form words right now, your mind was running out of control, trying to find a reasonable explanation for everything but there wasn’t one, he left you.

“H-Hey Jin, have you heard from Joonie?” You questioned, trying to sound as normal as possible, you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, this could all be some kind of misunderstanding.

“Yeah, he called about two hours ago, said you were on your way home already, did you enjoy yourself? Shouldn’t he be sat next to you on the plane?” He left you alone in Paris. With no note as to where he’d gone or why he’d gone.

“Jin he left on his own, he must have caught an early flight and not told me, did he say anything else to you on the phone? Maybe why he decided to leave his best friend in a foreign country on her own?!” You were starting to hyperventilate at the thought of this, he knew you couldn’t handle planes on your own, they made you on edge and panic, Jin was speaking on the other side of the phone but you couldn’t hear a word he was saying, you were trying to focus on breathing but it was hard, you dropped to your knees on the floor and you felt the tears well up in your eyes.

“Y/N!” You heard him yell from the phone in your hand, you hummed some kind of response to him, not being able to form any words right now.

“I’m sure it’s a mistake, I’ll have Hobi call him, or I’ll call him and Hobi can talk to you okay?!” You hummed again and there was a shuffling sound before you heard Hobi’s bright and cheerful voice on the other side of the phone.

“Jin is going to find him Y/N, But right now you need to think about yourself and your breathing.” You heard him say to you, he knew you were listening and he clicked facetime to make this easier, you accepted the call and he smiled at you, that smile would normally light up the room but right now it wasn’t doing much.

“Okay name five things you can see.” You nodded and glanced around the room to try and spot something.

“Clock, mirror, pillow, candle and er, Eiffel Tower.” You answered, your breathing was still shallow and hard to control but it was getting a little easier.

“Four things you can touch.” You looked at the phone and he was smiling at you reassuringly.

“Phone, clothes, hair, and floor.” You breathing was starting to return back to normal as he continued with the grounding technique.

“Three things you can smell."

"Joonie’s aftershave, fresh air and pancakes.” He was nodding at you and you smiled at him falling back onto your bum instead of sitting on your knees, you knew they would be bruised tomorrow from kneeling down so much.

“Two things you can hear?"

"Your voice and traffic out on the roads.” He hummed this time, and you relaxed against the end of the bed, listening to the early morning/ late night traffic of France.

“One thing you can taste?” You frowned,

“Nothing I’ve just woken up, my mouth?” He chuckled and you smiled a little, finally calm enough to hold a conversation now. Jin was back in the frame and smiling at you sadly, they all knew your fear with planes.

“He’s not picking up, I’ll try again soon. But your plane is in a few hours okay? Try and get some rest…I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for everything."

You were so exhausted you didn’t feel the bed dip when Namjoon got in next to you, you just rolled over in your sleep and threw your arms over him, that’s what woke you up, the sudden contact of someone else’s skin, you jumped out of the bed hitting him with every pillow from his bed, you’d gotten into his bed after you ended the call with Hobi, they promised to call you if they heard anything from him. Namjoon was laid there shirtless with nothing but a pair of Koya pyjama bottoms on and looked pissed off that you’d thrown pillows at him for seemingly no reason.

"Where the fuck, have you been?!” You yelled picking up a pillow and going to throw it at him but he pulled you down onto the bed so you were lying down next to him, he forced you to lay your head on his chest and stroked your hair.

“I went for a walk.” He lied to you, you scoffed pushing yourself off him and sitting up in the bed, your eyes were red from crying so much,

“I called Jin, you told him you were going home. You left me here.” You frowned, your arms folded across your chest as you stared at him, he sighed sitting up in the bed, you didn’t want to listen to him lie, he took his suitcases so it clearly wasn’t just a walk.

“I just wanted to go for a walk, clear my head.” You stared at him, not accepting his answer as a real answer when he stayed silent you got off the bed and went to find some pants, the sun was starting to rise anyway.

“Where are you going?” He called out staring at you as you slipped into some leggings and nothing but his baggy shirt, normally he loved seeing you standing in his clothes but right now he didn’t, right now he hated it because you were angry with him and walking away.

“I have last-minute gift shopping to do, might as well start it now.” You said going into the bathroom and locking yourself inside, you stared at yourself in the mirror, you were a mess. Your hair was up in a big messy bun, your eyes were bloodshot, and your cheeks were stained with tears.

“I wasn’t going to leave you here.” He said on the other side of the door, you looked at the door, tempted to let him inside but you knew you couldn’t do that.

“Well, certainly felt like you were. Just ask Hobi he had to calm me down at 2 am this morning.” You spat at him, not wanting to bring up the fact that you’d had a panic attack at him but you felt the need to, he had to know why you were so upset with him.

You came out of the bathroom, your hair was now up in a presentable ponytail, your face was clean and you were still dressed in his shirt and leggings.

“You had a panic attack?” He questioned looking at his phone, you assumed Hoseok had told him what happened earlier that morning and demanded an explanation from him as well as to why he would leave you like that.

“Yeah.” You said going to your side of the room and looking for your purse, you bent down under the bed, reaching for it and then coming back up to be face to face with Namjoon, he was still shirtless you looked up at his eyes, resisting the urge to look at his beautifully sculptured body.

“I didn’t mean to-” You shook your head, stopping him from blaming himself and you looked out of the balcony doors, it was getting brighter by the minute and you had to be at the airport for 11 am.

“I don’t want to talk about it, I have gifts to buy. What’s done is done okay?” You asked him, he nodded at you in silence and you pushed past him going to the hotel room door and swinging it open, but he came over and slammed it shut in front of you, his arm above yours resting there so you couldn’t open it again and leave, his chest was against your back.

“No, not okay.” He said to you, his eyes staring down at the back of your head, you were still facing the door not having the courage to actually turn around and face him you felt nervous underneath him, he was taller than you.

“Namjoon look it’s fine, I get that you just wanted to leave early or whatever, or that I made you uncomfortable earlier in the temple, I’m sorry.” He turned you around so you were facing him, looking up at him, he was shaking his head at you, he cupped your face in his hand, the one that wasn’t resting on the door, he ran his thumb along your jawline and you stared at him, he leant down to your height, his eyes closing and you felt your breath hitch, images of the night before flashing back to you, of him pulling away from you, your eyes welled up with tears again.

“Don’t kiss me if you’re going to pretend it never happened Namjoon.” You warned him, his eyes opened to meet yours, you meant it.

“Don’t you dare kiss me if you have plans on forgetting about it.” He smirked at you, he liked that you were this outspoken with him, he took in a deep breath and his thumb ran along your bottom lip.

“I don’t believe we’ve ever shared a kiss before.” You scoffed pushing against his bare chest not wanting to play that game with him but he grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head on the door.

“Joonie I don’t think I can take you pretending we never kissed again,” You moaned out, his lips just brushed the skin on your neck, he smirked at you.

“I’ve not even touched you yet and you’re already moaning my name,” You struggled against his grip, he was being too cocky and you hated him for it, he chuckled deeply, letting go of your wrists with both of his hands and leaving just one to keep your arms pinned up against the door, pulling his free hand down to your jawline, his thumb running along the skin, he pulled your head down, making you look at him.

“I won’t pretend it never happened again.” He promised you, he brought your face closer to his, your lips brushing against one another teasingly, you couldn’t take it anymore, you slammed your lips against his and you could feel him smirking into the kiss, his hand dropped from your wrists and you snaked them around his neck, pulling him down to you, his hands went around your waisted and lifted you up from the floor, earning a squeal to escape from your lips, he carried you over to the bed, laying you down against the pillows, hovering above you, his lips moved from yours to your jawline and then finally down onto your neck, where he began leaving his mark, licking over the skin he’d sucked on and kissing his way back up to your lips once more, you were sure there were going to be bright purple marks where he’d been kissing you.

“Fuck Joonie I love you.” You admitted between the breathless kisses you were exchanging on the bed, he smiled down at you, he ran his hand through your hair, he didn’t think the smile would ever fade away after he finally heard you say those three words to him, you stared at him, a little confused as to why he’d suddenly stopped kissing you, he got off the bed and left you, going over to the door again, your heart sank to the floor as you watched him walk.

“Don’t leave me again…please.” You said, your voice cracking at the end, he looked back at you, his heartbreaking as you thought he was just going to leave you like that, he bent down to reach inside of his bag and took out a black velvet box and coming over to you.

“I promised I wasn’t going anywhere.” He sat behind you in the bed, his legs either side of you, he pulled you back to lay against his chest as he leant back against the headboard, he put the box into your hand.

“Open it.” He hummed, moving the hair from your neck and leaving sloppy kisses up and down the exposed skin, you opened the box and inside was a rose gold heart-shaped locket, something was engraved in french.

“Je t'aime ~ Joonie.” You smiled running your hand along the side of the locket, it clicked open and inside was a photo of you and Joonie on the night of your first kiss, your mum had taken the photo of you both and you felt tears rush to your eyes, all this time you thought all of those kisses meant nothing to him.

“I originally planned on giving this to you last night, but I lost my courage.” He chuckled, his head resting in the crook of your neck as you both looked down at the locket together.

“It’s stunning Joonie, I love it.” He smiled and reached around you, taking it from the box and putting it around your neck.

“I love you.” He said to you once it was done up, your hands played with the locket, a giant smile on your lips as you stared at your best friend.

“I love you too.” You turned around to face him and kissed him once again. His phone began to vibrate from beside him, you pulled away from one another and then you remembered him always on his phone, talking to someone and smiling so much, he turned the phone over to see Jin calling him and he smiled.

“Hi, Jin…No…Yes I’m back…I didn’t chicken out, I gave it to her. She loves it.” It all started to make sense now, he’d planned the week with you because he wanted to tell you he loved you, you were the reason he was smiling so much at his phone because he wanted to make it all perfect for you. He hung up the phone and you looked at the lock screen, it was a picture of you, you hadn’t seen before, it was from the first night here, you could tell because it was the clothes you arrived in, you were stood out on the balcony looking up at the Eiffel Tower.

“When did you-”

“That’s not important, kiss me.” He said wrapping his arms around you and kissing you once again.

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nialledfromfics · 5 years

Text

just one more night

a niall oneshot

wc: 6343

pov: niall + 1st p. reader

warnings: contains smut.

It felt like it had been forever since I had stood at his front door. Four weeks, five days and seventeen hours to be exact, but it certainly felt like a lifetime ago. I was juggling a cardboard box in my hands, one that was generously filled with a few of his things–some clothes, his grey paddy cap, a dark blue bomber jacket, a few records and a toothbrush–that had been left at my apartment as I tried my best to work up the courage to walk through that door. He was expecting me; we had briefly texted back and forth the previous night about finally exchanging our things, and he had told me to stop by after work the next day. And even though I had prepared myself for the exact moment as best I could, tossing and turning in my bed and going over a thousand scenarios in my head all night long, as I stood there, I became vastly aware that maybe I wasn’t so sure that I was ready to see him again. Maybe I wasn’t so sure that I would ever be ready to see him again.

We had dated for nearly three years, going steady and strong and making it through situations that a normal couple wouldn’t even be able to fathom. The publicity of a successful debut album, endless promo, appearances and award shows, and an eight month long tour that had him traveling the world, day and night. So I was more than positive that if we could get through all of that, we could get through anything. I had never loved a man the way that I loved Niall, I had never before experienced the kind of love, passion and connection that we shared and it was never a question to me that we would end up spending the rest of our lives together. But just being together wasn’t enough for me, I wanted all of him. I wanted that commitment. We were both in our mid-twenties with good stable jobs and a love that I had thought was unbreakable, and all I wanted was to cement that bond that I knew we had. I wanted to settle in together, get married and start a family. Niall had told me that he wanted those things too, eventually, and that he would love to have kids, someday, but he just wasn’t ready for that yet. He told me that there were so many things he wanted to do first, dreams he wanted to accomplish and while I was happy to give him the time to do that, he wouldn’t give me a promise that he would be able make any of my dreams come true. And really that was all that I had wanted from him, just a promise that one day it would happen and that in the end, that was what we were working towards.

So the decision to take some time apart was one met with a million tears and undeniable heartbreak, but it was amicable and understandable from both of us. He said that he loved me and he wanted me to have everything my heart desired and that I shouldn’t have to wait on him for it. I told him that I loved him and I wanted the best for him, even if that didn’t include marriage and kids, or me. Walking away from him was the hardest thing I had ever done. Up until the moment I was standing at his front door with a cardboard box of his things in my hands.

My teeth clamped down onto my bottom lip and the sweat had started to pool on my palms, making my skin feel irritatingly clammy. Nerves shouldn’t have been something that I was riddled by, I knew this man, probably better than anyone else in the world, but maybe that was why I was so nervous. I knew him inside and out. I knew the way his voice went softer every time he said my name, I knew how his eyes lit up every time an Eagles song came on the radio. I knew the smell of his freshly washed skin and the scent of his favorite shampoo and how he loved to just cuddle up on the couch and watch TV after a long day in the studio. I knew the difference in his laughs when he thought something was truly funny or when he was just trying to be nice to someone he’d just met. I knew the way he held my hand just a fraction tighter when we walked out in public, or how he liked to steal kisses after I had taken the first few sips of my morning coffee. I knew how it felt to have him. To have his naked body hovered over mine, his heavy breaths panting in my ear and his fingers tangled in my hair. I knew how it felt to have his heart. I knew him better than I knew myself, yet I was more nervous than I had ever been.

I swallowed hard at my realizations, struggling to balance the box on my forearm as I reached into the front pocket of my jeans and pulled out a little silver key. Peeking down at the cold metal in my hand, my eyes fluttered as I remembered the very night that he had given it to me, almost two years prior. A bittersweet memory. One that had sparked that bit of hope in my heart.

Shaking myself out of my silly daydream, I inserted the key into the lock and pushed the handle, letting his large front door swing open. I had barely poked my head in when the soothing sound of a piano being played from his living room gently wafted over my ears. A warmth coursed through me as I paused for a second to listen and not being able to see him from the front entrance, I carefully closed the door behind me and slipped the key back into my pocket. My heart was pounding in my chest as I took each step, as if it were fighting to drown out the sinfully melodic notes that were echoing out from the other room. His house had felt like my own house for years with the amount of time I had spent over there; helping to host parties, cozy date nights and lazy weekends in, the countless nights I had shared his bed, but as I walked through the open foyer, past the large alley kitchen towards his living room, I felt as if I didn’t know the place at all. As if it was all uncharted territory.

I slowly crept around the corner, stopping right at the entrance of the expansive dimly lit room and my eyes danced along the decorated walls until they had fallen on exactly what I had been searching for. Niall. He was sitting at his grand piano, a pencil pinched between his lips and his brows wrinkled as he tapped away on the black and white keys before pausing to make notes on the papers propped up in front of him. He hadn’t noticed me, not for what seemed like hours as my stare drifted from the hunch of his broad shoulders under his white t-shirt down to the movement of his socked foot on the tiny brass pedal. I felt like I was floating on air as I quietly watched him, my nerves practically washing away with each note he played like the gentle tide of the morning’s sunrise.

It wasn’t until he had stopped to take a long, and much needed, sip of his bottled water that I cleared my throat and spoke up. “Niall?”

His clear blue eyes shot over to where I was leaning against the doorframe to the living room and he just stared at me for a moment, almost as if he was surprised to see me, before a tiny smile emerged over his lips. “Hiya, darlin’,” he softly remarked.

A sigh escaped me at his tender greeting and I slowly walked over to him, setting the box down on the top of the piano. Keeping my gaze settled on the array of contents in front of me, I chewed the corner of my mouth and geared myself up for the awkwardness that would surely ensue. But it seemed like Niall was determined to rally against it. He had begun to play the notes on the piano again and I glanced over at him, noticing the deep concentration that was on his face as a few words started to flow past his lips and for that split second...it was like nothing had changed. It was as if we were back at the beginning, Niall working on new music and me intently listening to every note and lyric he had written while being his objectively, unbiased test audience. It felt good, familiar and, dare I think, perfect. At least for that single moment anyway.

“That’s beautiful,” I said as he stopped playing, “did you write that?”

Niall nodded. “Yeah,” he replied, his eyes flicking down to the piano keys as he randomly ran his fingers across them, “kinda just came to me in a dream last night. Been workin’ on it all day.”

“I like it.”

He looked back up at me. “Thanks. So, how’ve you been?”

It was a question that I knew he would ask, yet one that I wasn’t sure how I would answer. Do I tell him that I laid awake almost every night thinking about him, missing him? That I sometimes wondered if I had made a mistake by leaving? Or do I pretend that everything was fine? I pulled in a deep breath and slid my gaze in front of me, staring out of the large curtained window that faced his back yard. I couldn’t pretend, not with him. “I mean, I’d say okay but…” my words softly drifted off as I peered back over at him.

“But you’d be lyin’?”

He knew me just as well as I knew him. Tucking my lips into my mouth, I quirked my brow in response. “Yeah.”

Niall sighed lightly, tipping his head down to run his fingers through his messy brown hair. “I was nervous coming over here,” I went on, Niall meeting my gaze as I spoke, “bringing you your stuff, seeing you and everything.”

“And now?”

“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully with a slight lift of my shoulder. “I feel like I’m questioning everything all over again. Which...is probably why I was nervous about coming over here in the first place.”

His eyes, still that breathtaking ocean blue that drew me in that very first night we met, lingered over mine. “C’mere,” he said with a cock of his head, “I wanna show ya somethin’.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I raised my brows at him and he gave me a sweet little chuckle. “I ain’t gonna try nothin’, just...c’mere.”

I faintly rolled my eyes and shuffled closer to him, standing next to where he sat on the piano bench. “This,” he started, waving his finger at the music paper in front of him, “is about you.”

“I hope it’s nothing shitty,” I scoffed under my breath.

A laugh burst past his lips. It had been so long since I had heard that sound. “The content’s not shitty, not so sure ‘bout the execution just yet.”

“What is it about exactly?” I asked, curiosity taking hold as I looked over at him.

His head tilted back slightly to gaze up at me and I watched as his chest swelled with a deep, readying breath. “It’s about how much I miss you,” he said, “and about how at times we make choices that we think are right, and maybe they are at the moment but...they just don’t feel right later on.”

Turning myself around to face him with my bottom towards the piano keys, Niall dropped his chin and peered down at his lap, but I didn’t dare move my stare as I carefully listened. “Every time I hear your voice or see a picture of you on me phone or...even just think about you, I just...I can’t take it. I get really angry with meself.”

“Why?”

“ ‘Cause I let you go,” he said, glancing up at me.

My head tipped to the side in a light sigh as I let my arms fall to my sides. “Niall, we both made that decision, it wasn’t just you.”

“It was me, love,” he counteracted, “ ‘cause all I had to do was give you what you wanted.”

“Yeah, at the expense of yourself!” I said with a furrowed brow. “Ni, I’m not gonna force you to do something you’re not ready for, just like you wouldn’t ever force me to do anything I wasn’t ready for. Besides, that’s not a reason to get married and have kids anyway. You have to want those things as much as me, and it’s okay that you don’t right now. I just want you to be happy.”

“I was my happiest when I was with you.”

My eyes ease closed as his words floated over my ears and I turned my head to the side, instinctually biting at my lower lip as I tried to settle all the emotions I could feel creeping up inside me. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and I slowly drifted my stare back to his. His chin was trembling slightly, his blue eyes heavy and glassy as they darted over mine. I faintly nodded. “I love you, I hope you know that,” he went on, lowering his head again. I glanced down to see him fiddling with his fingers in his lap. “I wish we could go back, I wish it was all different. I just want...I just want one more night with ya, love. If I could have one more night–”

My lips were on his in that second, kissing away the remnants of his lost sentence. I had no idea what had come over me, it was like a wildfire inside me that spark after spark had finally ignited and was nearly burning unstoppable. I had to kiss him, I needed to kiss him. With my small hands cradling around his bearded jaw, I bent over and pressed my lips to his, our mouths moving in conversant harmony as if we had never stopped kissing in the first place. He was warm, excruciatingly warm, and his sweet taste filled my mouth as my tongue greedily swept over his.

Pulling back slightly, I softly brushed my lips along his. “I love you, too,” I breathed out, “and I miss you, Ni, every second I miss you.”

My mouth was back on his, kissing him, before he could utter another sound, my fingers curling around the sides of his face as I held him right where I wanted him. His heart was racing as my lips kissed over his chin to his neck, his pulse thrashing against my palm as I slid my hand down the front of his chest. I sucked along his throat, nipping the sweet sticky skin and Niall slowly tipped his head back.

“Babe…” I heard him whisper, his fingers twisting into the back of my hair, “babe…” I giggled slightly, licking over his jaw and he lowered his chin so our lips could meet once more.

“Baby…”

“Shut up,” I gently scolded between kisses.

Niall huffed out an amused chuckle. “What?”

Inching back, I darted my eyes with his. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

With a half grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, Niall narrowed his stare slightly before pushing himself up from the piano bench. My eyes followed his; the black of our pupils drowning in each other, holding captive and quiet as Niall wrapped his big hands around my waist and yanked my body towards him. My bottom slid across the piano keys, a roughened crescendo ringing out into the stark silence of the large room and he leaned in to kiss me again, but was stopped by the press of my fingertip to his lips.

“Wait…” I said, swallowing hard, “who’s here?”

Niall shook his head. “No one,” he replied with a boyish smirk, “just us.” Nibbling at my bottom lip, my stare swam over his face for a moment before I grabbed around the back of his neck and roughly pushed my mouth to his. His large hands squeezed around my middle, the pads of his fingers digging deep into my waist before his touch traveled up my sides, pausing to cradled around my face. He kissed me harder, deliciously sweeping his tongue over mine as my eyes pinched shut and low eager hums pulsed from my throat. My chest felt tight as I struggled to catch my breath, my heart racing like a prized horse coming up on his last lap and I tipped my head back as his hot mouth dropped to my neck.

He was ravenous, his lips curling around my tender skin and sucking across every inch that he could reach. A few groans emerged from his parted mouth, his heated breaths panting over my dampened flesh and before I knew it, I was yanking at the sides of his t-shirt, pulling it right over his head. My eyes flew open, fluttering as they tried to focus on him. His brown hair was a mess, disheveled and soft, and my stare slowly slid downwards to watch the heavy rise of his bare chest as he flung his t-shirt to the floor. His skin was flushed pink, and I licked across my lips as my trembling hands just barely ghosted down the front of his body.

I swallowed hard as I glanced back up to his face, noticing the cheeky smirk that was once again pulling on the corner of his mouth. It made an unmistakable heat start to waver between my legs; one that I had felt so many times, one that I had missed so badly. Niall slowly reached out and hooked his fingertips under the hem of my top and without saying a word, yanked the thin material over my head. His mouth was back on mine, sucking at my tongue and nipping at my lips as my bra was clumsily removed and thrown across the room. We both started to fumble with pulling off each other’s pants, his cotton shorts falling to a heap around his ankles as I wiggled out of my jeans and kicked them onto the floor. A shaky giggle spilled out of me against his lips as Niall grabbed at my panties and expertly slid them down my legs.

He cupped his big palms around my jaw and kissed me even harder, my hands dragging over the soft sides of his waist. Tucking my thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, I began to shimmy them down his thighs and Niall pulled back slightly. “You sure?” he asked.

My brows furrowed a bit, only because I was already full naked and it was only then that he had stopped me to ask if this was something I wanted, but I just smiled. “I want you inside me,” I whispered with a nod of my head.

“God, I fuckin’ missed you.”

His lips pressed to mine and he gripped tight around my waist, lifting me up to set my bottom down on the keys of the piano. I chuckled lightly, amused by his eagerness as he quickly pushed his boxers all the way off, but was stunned quiet by the sight of him. He was so swollen for me, so swollen that the skin was a fiery bright red and his tip throbbing, and all I could do was choke back a breath and ready myself for what was about to happen. I slowly met his gaze again and he brought two of his fingers up to his mouth, licking across the pads before he slipped his hand down between my legs. My lips fell to a part as he gently rubbed over my entrance, spreading my wetness across my aching center.

An audible moan slid past my lips and Niall smiled at my candor and lightly twisted his fist into the ends of my hair. Taking the time to line his tip at my opening, he captured my waiting mouth with his and slowly pushed himself all the way inside me. My eyes rolled back as he filled me, the heated skin of his hips burning my inner thighs as my swollen walls pulsated around his thickness. I missed feeling him inside me. I missed feeling the weight of him, feeling his warmth against me, his touch on my skin and I moved my hands to cup around his neck, holding his sweaty body flush to mine. I kissed him harder, his slim hips rocking as he thrust into me and he slid a hand down, hooking his fingers under my knee to lift my leg up higher against the side of his body.

Slipping his mouth from mine, my arms wrapped fully over his broad shoulders as he buried his face down into my neck. His hips rocked even faster, Niall working me with everything he had and I pinched my eyes shut, whimpering at the intense feeling.

He nuzzled his nose below my ear, his stubble tickling me and the heat from his breath dampening my skin. “Fuck, love,” he panted, his big palm tracing down my spine, “you feel so good…”

I lightly gasped at his words and my arms squeezed tighter around him, desperate to keep him close, to keep that feeling of being with him, of him being inside me, for as long as I could. I didn’t want it to end, I didn’t want to lose it again. I didn’t want to lose him again.

Tucking my face down against the crook his shoulder, I inhaled deeply. His familiar scent swarmed my senses just as he slowed his hips to bury his length as far into me as he could. My head tossed back in an echoing moan of his name at the body-numbing sensation, as Niall caught the front of my exposed neck between his lips. “Need t’ fuckin’ taste ya,” he mumbled as his hot tongue slinked over my throat, “missed your sweet little cunt...”

“Oh God, yes,” I spit out, splashes of how fucking good that man was with his mouth ran rampant over my naked body and I shivered in his arms as he slowly withdrew from between my legs.

Niall carefully helped me off of the piano, our hearts beating a thousand times a second as he tangled his fingers in mine and lead us towards the other side of his living room. Yanking me forward to stand in front of him, he raked his fingers through my messy hair and kissed me again, slowly lowering me onto the massive couch. I let a faint giggle escape when my naked body hit the soft cushions, and it stifled just past my parted lips before my eyes squeezed shut and my back involuntarily arched from the slight burn of his bearded jaw rubbing down my inner thighs. He wasted no time burying his face between my spread legs, his mouth, hot and eager, lapping and sucking at my folds.

I choked on my breath and reached down with both hands to tangle my fingers into the soft strands of his dark hair as low, satisfying moans gushed from my bared throat. Tipping my head back further into the couch, I could barely wrap my mind around everything that was happening, all that he was making he feel, all that it meant, as Niall continued to ravaged me; sucking over my sensitive clit and flicking his tongue along my dripping center. His big palms pressed hard into the tops of my thighs, holding me as still as he could and I knew his darkened eyes were glued up at my face. I could feel the heat of his stare blistering into my flesh but I couldn’t do anything but pinch my eyes tighter and try to stave off my already impending orgasm.

Tiny, rapacious whines were coming from Niall as his tongue explored, the kind I remembered every time he had his mouth on me. The kind that let me know just how much he loved tasting me, how ravenous he was for me, how much he wanted it. The kind that set my insides ablaze and made me want to explode with each pass of his skilled wet tongue. By then my trembling body had taken over; rocking against his mouth as he sucked, my thighs shaking around the warm sides of his face and my toes curling into the material of the cushions. But Niall didn’t let up. His insatiable mouth went harder, moving up and down my quivering center and his tongue playing greedy at my entrance. With a frenzied spark shooting in my lower tummy at the feeling, I had barely let out another long winded moan before I felt his mouth slip from my heat and his body slowly start to slide up the length of mine.

Niall pressed tender kisses all the way up my bare frame, pausing to show special attention to a few of his favorite spots and my eyes finally shot open just as his face came flush to my own. He nestled his thick body back between my legs and within a second his lips were pressed to mine and his cock was once again buried inside me. I cried out into his mouth, his slim hips lazily rolling against mine as he began to fuck into me once more. Wrapping my hands around his sticky neck, I kissed him harder as he worked above me, our sweat-coated bodies melding together as we nearly drowned in each other’s ragged breaths. My warm center pulsed around him as he very slowly pushed himself in and out, our lips barely losing contact as Niall gently rested his forehead to mine. I felt his hands cradle around my head, and my eyelids eased open, catching his stare.

With my breaths stumbling in my lungs, my eyes drifted over his, and I twisted my fingers up into his dark hair as his trembling body came to a lull on top of me. A shiver flowed down my drenched frame as the stark quiet of the room, apart from our frantic gasps of air, pierced over my ears and all I could do was dreamily gaze up at him and try not to get lost all over again.

His racing heart was knocking against my chest, so much so that it scared me, and my eyes fluttered as Niall softly brushed his thumb along my temple. “I love you,” he whispered, the tip of his nose drifting along the side of mine, “I love you so fuckin’ much.”

I swallowed hard, the well of tears begging to fill the brims of my eyes as his words tumbled around in my head. My watery stare darted silently over his, yearning to make that moment last forever before a soft smile adorned my lips. “I love you, too,” I breathed out, pulling him down to meet my mouth in a kiss, “so much.”

Our gaze met yet again as he leaned up on his elbows, his body starting to move a bit more fervently against mine. “Sit up,” I abruptly spit out, reaching up to softly comb away a wisp of fallen hair from his forehead, “please...I wanna fuck you.”

Niall paused his thrusts, his eyes darting over mine for a moment before he hung his head down in an amused chuckle. But he knew I meant business when he felt me reach down with both hands to grope at his fleshy little backside. A smirk edged over his mouth and I pushed my hips up into his as hard as I could, just to coax him a bit more. I knew what I wanted and Niall was in no position to argue and as he caught my stare, he licked at his lips and slipped an arm under the arch of my lower back. Twisting us both over with ease, Niall sat up and plopped his bare bottom on the cushion with his feet planted flat on the floor as I straddled him. Pushing his hardened length back inside me as he had accidentally slipped out, he let his head fall to rest on the back of the couch in a low groan as I began to grind against him.

With my hands planted on his chest, my fingers roughly curled into the damp dark hairs that splattered across as he gripped tight around my waist, helping to guide my body along his. I bit my bottom lip as I rode him, watching with avid satisfaction as his eyes rolled back and his pink flushed face scrunched up from the feeling, my hips rocking faster and letting him bury as far into me as he would go. He was throbbing inside me, the overly-swollen tip of his cock pushing right against my special little spot with every tiny trust he was providing as our bodies worked beautifully together. Harder, faster. Deeper. Our frantic gasps and heavy moans edged past our slackend lips as we moved, fucking our way to that mind-numbingly intense high that only we knew together, that we had both missed so much. I was shaking, quivering, aching to come; my toes vehemently curling aside his legs and a fevered flush spreading wickedly over my exposed body and I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around Niall as I tucked my face down into his neck.

My eyes fluttered closed in a breathless whimper as I felt myself start to give way to him, his warm touch traveling up the span of my rounded back and holding me against him as he took complete control and fucked up into me. I could tell by his breaths, by the way his body jerked, and how his fingertips bled into my flesh that he was close and I wanted nothing more than to come with him. Attaching my lips to the side of his throat, I sucked ever so gently, but enough to entice that perfect little whine from him that I loved so much before I felt Niall tuck his face right against mine. He held me tight, so tight that I almost couldn’t breathe.

“Come for me, love,” he choked out, my body nearly on the verge of collapse as I struggled to keep fucking him as deep as I could, “...baby…please...”

A cry belted out from my lips and plastered to the sticky mottled skin of his neck and I tangled my fingers into his hair, the heat of my release swarming from my core as it started to recklessly consume my entire body. His name slipped sweetly off my tongue as I finally let go, trembling uncontrollably within the hold of his strong arms. My thighs clamped around his hips, and it was in that moment that I felt Niall go rigid inside me, pushing up into me only a few more times before the tightening pulse of my swollen center quickly brought him over that needed edge.

I had never heard him come so loud before. Guttural, deep breathy moans, ones that stick heavy in the back of your throat and leave a sweet taste on your tongue, slid deliciously over my ear as he filled me and nuzzled the side of his face into my hair. His hips slowed to a stop, and we just stayed frozen in our blissful intoxication of each other for what seemed like forever. I didn’t want to move, for fear of what would happen, that it would all be over, almost forgotten, if I did. But Niall held me as tight as he had before, his fidgety fingers twirling in the ends of my hair as his mouth kissed sweetly along my jaw.

Finally forcing myself to pull away from him, a long sigh slipped past my parted lips as I tossed myself over onto my back next to him, my legs still dangling over his thighs. Niall laughed under his breath and wiped away the sweat of his brow with the back of his hand as I eased my eyes closed in a more than contented smile. Not a word was exchanged–just quiet acknowledgment over what had just happened–as we both took the time to catch our breaths and sort our thoughts. At some point, Niall had turned his head to look over at me, his gorgeous baby blues swimming over the slopes and valleys of my glistening naked body, but I was none the wiser to this fact.

I shakily reached up to brush through the front of my hair, wiping the strands from my sweaty face when I felt the delicate touch of Niall’s fingertip swirl around my belly button. It tickled and I giggled lightly under my breath as he continued to play, tracing a line up my stomach to my chest. Pressing his hand flat against my flushed skin, he slowly pushed his palm between the slopes of my breasts. It was the soft warmth of his mouth around my nipple that made me gasp and peel my eyes open, catching Niall just as he had leaned down to tenderly kiss over the peak of my breast.

He had a dopey, pleased grin on his face as he picked his head back up, my eyes locked in on his. “You’re beautiful, ya know that? And I’m not just sayin’ that just ‘cause you’re layin’ here naked on the couch with me,” he chuckled, “you’re just...beautiful.”

I gave him a sheepish smile. “And you’re beyond sweet to me,” I mumbled, reaching over to gently run the back of my finger down his still flushed cheek.

“I wasn’t lyin’ ‘bout what I said to you,” he admitted, grabbing my hand in his as my touch left the dip of his chin. He peeked down to watch as he started to play with my fingertips. “I meant it. Every word. I love you...I never stopped lovin’ you. We never should’ve been apart.”

My heart was nearly bursting in my chest and it felt in that moment as if we had never been apart at all. It felt like it was all supposed to feel. But it also felt different, as if something had changed. Something for the better. “I never stopped loving you either, Ni. Not one second did I stop loving you. And through everything we’ve gone through...I know you’re the only person I’m ever gonna love.”

A stillness filled the space between us and Niall leaned himself down to cuddle into me, planting his cheek against my chest. I lightly ran my hand through the side of his thick brown hair, wrapping the ends around my fingertips and his heavy lidded eyes fluttered softly with my touch. It was definitely times like those that I had missed so much.

“Stay the night with me.”

My brows furrowed. “You...still want me to stay?”

Niall lifted his head to look at me. “ ‘course, darlin’, but...only if ya want to.”

I bit off the smile that pulled at my lips before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Happy with that response from me, Niall pushed himself up from the couch, taking the time to ease my legs back down on the cushions. He grabbed a nearby chenille blanket that was folded up on the other side of the sofa and tossed it over my exposed frame, and sauntered back towards the piano. My stare was glued to him as I slumped down into the couch and quietly chewed at the edge of my fingernail, diligently following every movement his naked body made. I had only dreamed that I would ever see him like that again, and it made a warmth knot up in my stomach. He stopped just by the piano bench to snatch his shorts from the floor, tugging them back on and earning a low whine of displeasure from me as the material flipped over to cover the round of his gorgeous ass.

Niall chuckled upon hearing my grumble of annoyance and he turned to glance over at me, running his hand up through his slightly dampened hair. Just as he went to look up, his bright blue eyes caught the glint of something on his hardwood floor and my brows wrinkled in curiosity as he bent over to pick it up. It was his house key. The one that I had stuffed back in my jeans pocket.

Flicking his brow, he held it up to me. My bottom lip tucked into my mouth and I hugged the blanket closer to my chest. “I was gonna give it back to you...” I tried to explain.

“Well, don’t,” he said, chucking the key over to me. I watched it bounce across my thigh before peeking back up at him. “I want ya to keep it.”

My expression softened at his words and I giggled, picking up the tiny piece of metal to twirl between my fingers. “So...just one more night, huh, Niall?”

Rolling his head to the side in a snort, Niall walked over to me and leaned down, both his big hands planted on either side of my upper body. He was so close, I could still smell the sex on him. It made me ache for him all over again. “It’s never just one more night with you and me, baby,” he confidently said, planting a small kiss on my lips. “It’s forever. And we’re gonna make it work this time, I promise.”

#niall #niall horan #niall oneshot #niall fic #niall fanfic #smut #oneshot #so im prob a bit rusty bc i havent written in 500 years #but i FINALLY finished this oneshot thats been sitting in my docs for 4 months lmao #i really hope you enjoy #its a bit sweet bc im a schlop for mush love lol #plus its niall and well....ya know haha #let me know what you think and PLEASE SHARE IT!!!#thank you!!! 😘

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emoboijk · 4 years

Text

myg | at the end of the day

you’re beautiful. and you’re drooling. —fluff

1,367 words

picture credit

Fuck he's tired.

Climbing out of the cab feels like it will take all the energy he has left and he does it slowly. He tosses a few bills through the plastic barrier for the driver and slowly maneuvers his body out of the back seat. His bag feels heavy, slung across his chest like a ten-pound weight.

Ten pounds, he thinks, is that all it would take to push me over the edge?

He blocks the keypad with his body and punches in the code to the building, slipping inside before the cold or any random fans have a chance to get to him. He auto corrects in his head as soon as he has that thought, Not that I don't love the fans…fuck, I'm tired.

When he's this tired, he just wants everything to stop. Even Bangtan. He wants the entire world to quiet down and forget that he exists. He wants to climb into bed, close his eyes, and pretend the world isn't watching. When he's this tired he wishes he hadn't agreed to be a member, that he'd insisted on a position as a producer.

Yoongi rubs at his eyes and mumbles, "Sleep." Sleep will help.

He presses the button for the elevator and steps inside. He leans against the back wall and closes his eyes, almost drifting off until his phone chimes. He knows it's Namjoon without having to look, he even knows it's about the new title track their working on (for the album after this one), and he knows that it probably says something like 'i'm scrapping everything immediately because it all sucks and life is a nightmare,' but he checks it anyway.

kim namjoon: i can't get the chorus right

kim namjoon: i think i'm just going to rewrite it

kim namjoon: but the melody's good right? like the melody's solid and i shouldn't fuck with it? it's just the lyrics…

Yoongi can practically see him crouched over the desk in his studio, his chin jutting out in frustration.

yoongi: if you fuck with my melody i'll kill you

yoongi: just find the vibe and stick with it

yoongi: now don't text me i'm home and i'm sleeping for a million hours

He sends the last message just as the elevator doors open. He slides through and meanders down the hall until he gets to your door. He punches in the key code and slips through the entrance soundlessly, toeing off his shoes and checking the Rolex on his wrist.

3:52 PM

"Huh," he sighs, eyes scanning the open floor plan of your apartment. There's no sign of you. Usually, at this time, you'd be making a late afternoon snack (chicken-flavored ramen or a half-gone bag of potato chips). "Baby?" he says to the empty space.

As he walks further inside, he dumps his bag on the kitchen counter and checks his phone. You hadn't texted him that you would be out. Yoongi peeks down the hallway quickly before turning to inspect the living room.

"Oh, fuck," he exhales.

You're dead asleep. Both arms are flung over one arm of the couch, your hair spilling over the edge in messy waves. You're wearing one of Yoongi's Fear of God t-shirts and your favorite pair of shorts (faded red with a tear in the crotch). One of your legs is flung over the back of the couch, and Yoongi's favorite cashmere blanket is twisted around your body haphazardly.

Now that he knows you're here, he can hear your soft snoring as you breathe in and out.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he whispers, grinning to himself.

He's stuck.

If you were napping in bed, he'd happily kick off his clothes and join you. If you were awake, he'd slump against the kitchen counter on a bar stool, stealing your food and trying not to drift off as you filled him in on your day.

But you're on the couch.

Yoongi turns and walks to the kitchen, tossing his baseball cap by his bag and running his fingers through his hair to scratch his scalp. He pours himself a glass of water and downs it in a single gulp, lips twisting as he tries to decide what to do.

He can't lift you. Despite his frequent hours in the gym (many of which he spends on his upper body), he has to face it: his arms are twigs.

He doesn't want to wake you up; you'd see the time and insist on actually waking up instead of just relocating to the bedroom.

He pours himself another glass of water and walks back over to the couch, perching on the edge of the coffee table in front of you, still in thought.

"Fuck," he smiles. You're beautiful.

And you're sort of drooling. Your mouth is open at the bottom like there's a weight attached to your lip, and your snoring is soft and consistent. A lock of hair has fallen over your face so Yoongi sets down his cup and tucks it behind your ear gently. Then, because he can't help himself, he draws a line straight down your forehead to the tip of your nose, grinning when your nose wrinkles cutely in response.

He's gotten used to it now, but when you first got together it was startling the way his joy could crowd his ribcage, wrap around his heart, and squeeze. It's such a distinctive feeling, the twist in his chest when he's around you; he feels so much love and affection that it causes a physical reaction.

Of course, he's been happy before, excited, thrilled, pumped full of adrenaline on stage…but that kind of a response was new and it only ever happens with you.

Of course, when it happened the first time (after he'd looked up from the computer in his studio to find you curled up on his couch in sweatpants, your hair tied up, your glasses slipping down your nose; you'd been there for nearly four hours, "I just want to be here," you'd told him) he'd thought he was having a heart attack.

Now it's a reminder that alongside his career, and his 6 brothers, there's something else as important to him as breathing. He swipes a thumb on your bottom lip to clear the crusty, dried drool, wiping his finger on his pants as you blink awake.

"Ugh," you groan, stretching your arms above your head and wincing at the cramp in your neck and hips. "God," you rub your hands over your face, watching your boyfriend with a drug-like-drowsiness as he grins goofily down at you. You furrow your brow and reach forward to pinch his cheek between your thumb and forefinger, "What time is it?"

Yoongi's cheeks shade pink and he glances down at his watch, "Past four."

"Fuuuuck," you groan, burrowing deeper into the couch and covering your face with your hands. When he doesn't immediately respond you peek through your fingers and see him still smiling, his eyes shining. You watch him suspiciously, pulling him down with a hand in his shirt.

His eyes go wide and surprised at the sudden movement, his nose just barely grazing yours. Before you can help yourself, you nuzzle your nose against his softly. God he smells good; espresso and mint gum.

"Uh," Yoongi stutters. His cheeks are hot and he knows he's blushing, grinning like an idiot.

"Did something good happen today?" You release him and throw your body weight forward in an attempt to sit upright.

He shrugs, his cheeks still pink, his lips still pulled up at the corners by their own volition, "Nothing out of the ordinary." He doesn't meet your eyes, still embarrassed at being caught staring.

"Then why are you all—" you wave your hands at him, smiling yourself at seeing him so…pleased and content.

Yoongi glances at you out of the corner of his eye, blushing harder now that he's decided what to do. He leans his torso forward, wraps a hand around the back of your head and whispers against your lips, "I just love you."

"Oh," you whisper, blushing yourself this time.

"Oh," he repeats, kissing you.

author’s note—i’m soft

requested by @nomnomsik—Idol Yoongi coming home to find OC napping on the couch and ogling over her until he accidentally wakes her up 🥺 and OC makes him all flustered and embarrassed by playful teasing fluff 💜💜

for more of my works check out my m.list

#hyunglinenetwork #bangtanbuds #bts #min yoongi #suga #yoongi x reader

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quentinblack · 4 years

Photo

Smoke and Mirrors

Chapter 6: Dean I - I Should Have Just Gone To Eton (link to full story on FF.net)

Featuring: Dean Thomas, Justin Finch-Fletchley

Word Count: 4K words

Dean looked around desperately at the various signs signalling all of the different departure gates as he walked through the main entrance.

Gatwick Airport was an absolutely massive place and he’d never been to an airport by himself before, so he was finding it very difficult to navigate.

It was all a lot easier travelling internationally by portkey, but that was too risky – at least this way there would be no trace of him.

Professor McGonagall had sat down with each and every muggle-born student before the end of the last year and explained the likelihood of what was to happen.

Dumbledore was dead, which meant it would not be long before You Know Who moved against The Ministry – and who knew what might happen to the muggle-born population of Wizarding Britain. She had taken the bold decision to wipe the records of every single muggle-born student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, so that they would be protected as best they could be if You Know Who and his followers were to purge or take control of the school over the summer. It was almost as if she knew something they didn’t.

Dean had been one of the most outspoken students in the initial meeting with his Head of House. He had been adamant that he wasn’t going anywhere and would return to school. He wasn’t a coward. He was a Gryffindor!

But he had read and heard of terrible things happening over the summer. The Daily Prophet was ramping up disdain for muggle-borns – and whilst watching and reading the muggle-news there were many events that were very evidently influenced by dark wizards and Death Eaters, even if the muggles themselves were blissfully unaware of that fact.

It was his Mum who had made the decision for him in the end. At first she had been very strong-willed and stubborn that he was to go. This tactic didn’t work on him, but when she started crying and guilt-tripping him instead he quickly relented.

He couldn’t let her down so he agreed to go and live with his step-sister in America until it had all blown-over, although deep down he knew it would only get worse – and soon Wizarding Britain would be in open war with You Know Who and his army of Death Eaters, Dementors and worse. He just wished he could have done his bit and been part of it.

It hadn’t been too much hassle to sort out his departure. He’d had to get a passport and a VISA, but that was no bother really. Bruce had managed to do most of it for him. Bayley was based in Los Angeles for work and had a spare room in her apartment, so he would go and live with her and see what happened. She said she would be able to get him a job and he was reasonably excited about the move. At the very least it would be a nice new start.

The check-in process at the airport had been simple enough. Dean had only taken a small carry on-bag so he didn’t have anything for the hold.

He put his suitcase onto the security conveyor belt to go through the X-Ray, then as it slowly made its way in, Dean wondered what the border officer was seeing on the reading on his screen. That small suitcase he’d picked up from Wiseacre’s in Diagon Alley had about two full 15KG hold bags worth of stuff in it. It was a real test of magic vs muggle technology.

Who would win in this battle of airport security scanners and undetectable extension charms?

It seemed that the wizards had taken the victory as the stern staff of the airport barely raised an eyebrow when his bag went through. The metal detector failed to go off when he walked through it with his wand in his jacket pocket. Of course his wand was made from cedar and the heartstring of a Ukrainian Ironbelly dragon, so it shouldn’t have gone off anyway, but that didn’t dispel his nerves when he walked through it.

He had to remind himself that it was, after all, a metal detector, not a magic detector – and even if the airport staff had have found his wand, they would’ve just thought he was just an oddball that was carrying some weird kind of stick.

Dean retrieved his bag from its tray and after putting it with the other collection of discarded trays he strolled through to the departure lounge.

There was still at least an hour before he would be able to board the long-haul flight, so to kill some time he thought he would wander through Duty Free. He soon regretted that choice though.

As soon as he walked in he was flanked by massive posters and cardboard cut outs of the muggle band Oasis. It all seemed to be advertising a new album being released called ‘Be Here Now’ and the poster showed what looked like a massive country house, with the members of the band dotting around outside standing in-front of a moped, whilst a white car was sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool.

Dean never had much time for Brit-pop bands like Oasis, Blur or The Stone Roses. His best friend, Seamus, was very much a fan though and often loved blasting their songs in their Gryffindor dormitory. He could just about make out the lyrics of what must’ve been a new single.

A cold and frosty morning there’s not a lot to say,

About the things caught in my mind,

As the day was dawning my plane flew away,

With all the things caught in my mind,

And I want to be there when you’re

Coming down,

And I want to be there when you hit the ground,

So don’t go away, say what you say,

But say that you’ll stay,

If the racket of the music wasn’t enough of an annoyance - the one thing that Dean hated most about muggle shops was the staff’s tendency to constantly badger you. Within a minute of browsing the aftershave section he had been harassed by four different people trying to shove samples in his face.

There was Armani, Versace, then Dior and Issey Miyake and Hugo Boss too. He was sure there was one that he would’ve really liked, but having test strips shoved in his face every time he tried to look had put him off going anywhere near them.

A pretty young red-headed girl advertising the latest Chanel release stopped him in his tracks though. She had piercing brown eyes, just like Ginny’s. The girl blushed slightly when she noticed that he was staring at her – he snapped himself out of it, feeling quite embarrassed.

He’d moved on from Ginny now.

Well, mostly.

He held no real ill-will to her or Harry, but he was quite disappointed at how it had all worked out. He thought everything had been going pretty swimmingly with her and he didn’t really know why they’d argued as much as they did by the end of it.

Dean had always tried to do right by her. He’d hold doors open for her, stand-up for her if anyone ever spoke out of line to her in-front of him and always insist on paying on every date they went on. She had called it controlling and patronising, but he was just trying to be nice and he knew that she didn’t have a lot of money so he didn’t like letting her split the bill like she would often suggest.

During one particularly-heated row she’d told him that she wasn’t a damsel in distress that needed saving, yet on numerous occasions she’d spoken in awe of how Harry had saved her in the Chamber of Secrets. Dean had pointed this out to her, which to put it lightly, had not gone down too well.

One of the last straws of their relationship had been when Cormac McLaggen inadvertently fractured Harry’s skull by hitting him with a bludger by accident. Dean hadn’t quite realised how serious the injury had been at first and he’d had to laugh at Cormac’s gross incompetence – as he’d flown past Ginny he’d made a joke about how You Know Who had spent years trying to kill Harry, yet after all that Cormac McLaggen might beat him to it if he wasn’t careful.

Ginny hadn’t seen the funny side, yet even Ron and Harry himself had cracked a laugh when he’d mentioned what he’d said later in their dormitory. It didn’t matter what Ginny thought now though. He might well never see her or any of the others again.

Perhaps it was for the best.

It took great effort but as he made his way through the store he managed to duck and dive out of the way of a man trying to sell him a ginormous toblerone, then dodged another trying to sell him a bottle of ludicrously expensive vodka. Dean couldn’t have even bought it if he had wanted to, as whilst he was considered of age by wizarding standards at 17 – it would still be a few months before he reached the legal age to drink in the UK as a muggle.

As he escaped Duty Free he saw a big stack of newspapers on a side-wall. The headlines all read ‘BROWN BLOWS BILLIONS ON BENEFITS AS LABOUR ANNOUNCE FIRST BUDGET’ and with it there was a still picture of a white man in a suit, with dark hair, who Dean guessed was in his mid to late forties, who was addressing a collection of journalists whilst standing in-front of a red banner that read ‘NEW LABOUR - NEW LIFE FOR BRITAIN’.

Dean didn’t care much for muggle politics. He turned the newspaper over to see what was on the back-page.

‘INTER MILAN BREAK TRANSFER RECORD TO LAND SAMBA STAR RONALDO’

That was more like it. Dean pulled up a seat nearby, then eagerly read the article which described in detail how the Italian super club had spent an incredible 19.5 million pounds to buy the brilliant Brazilian from Barcelona.

He lowered the newspaper from his eye line slightly to check the departure board and see if his flight was boarding yet.

“Oh, I sayyy…surely it can’t be…Dean Thomas?”

Dean didn’t immediately recognize the very ostentatious voice addressing him, but then he saw for his own eyes someone he’d shared the Hogwarts castle with for the best part of six years.

“Alright Justin, mate?”

“Dean! My goodness. It is you! What a surprise to see you here! I almost didn’t recognize you there for a second.”

Justin Finch-Fletchey had briefly broken away from who Dean assumed must be his parents. A very prim and proper white man, with old-fashioned spectacles and greased back hair, who Dean guessed was probably around forty-five and Justin’s father, followed his son but looked a bit hesitant.

“A friend of yours, Justin?” he asked, squinting curiously at Dean.

“Yes, Father. From school. You must excuse me for a moment. We have much to discuss,” Justin replied confidently, yet still very politely.

“Yes. Yes. Of course. Don’t forget though, Justin… first class boards first so we mustn’t dither too long.”

And with that his Father headed back towards his Mother and they headed to what looked like the Ralph Lauren boutique store.

“So… you’re upping sticks too, huh? Always knew you were a smart man,” Justin said in a slightly condescending, yet very light-hearted manner, patting Dean on the shoulder slightly as he winked.

“Yeah, well… I thought it was best to be on the safe side. Nobody knows what will happen if You Know Who does kick off a war. And with Dumbledore gone, well, not even Hogwarts is safe anymore so-

“Hogwarts was never bloody safe anyway! Especially for us. I was nearly killed by a murderous snake for Christ’s sake. If it hadn’t been for that irritating ghost I would have been,” Justin scoffed, quite understandably still annoyed at his petrification in their second year.

Dean had dodged a bullet that year to be fair. The basilisk had made short work of many muggle-borns in the school, even several in his own year, but he’d somehow managed to avoid the potentially lethal glare of the giant serpent, more through luck than any kind of skill or planning.

“I wouldn’t have minded it that much,” Justin began. Dean knew that some kind of rant was coming.

“But that old fool Dumbledore didn’t even have the humility or self-respect to go to the Ministry of Magic for help. He was too concerned about the school’s reputation that he left several students petrified indefinitely. You can’t tell me that St Mungo’s couldn’t have cooked up a remedy within a few days? It was farcical! Never would have happened if it had been going after the purebloods. It beggars belief that a society can have such a ridiculous order based entirely on social class.”

“Yeah, terrible…” Dean managed to mutter out.

He’d never spoken to Justin that much particularly, perhaps that had been a good decision as he seemed to have all the self-awareness of a goldfish.

Dean thought it best to try and change the subject. He had never been particularly close to Albus Dumbledore, but he wasn’t exactly going to stand here and let Justin shit-talk a dead man he had at least held a lot of respect for. It did also seem a bit rich for him to be criticising their former Headmaster, when Justin himself had been a member of a group named Dumbledore’s Army for several years.

“So where are you heading then?” he asked neutrally.

“We’re flying out to Los Angeles. Father has got a transfer at work to the San Francisco office, so we’ll be based there for now. I might also shadow my Uncle if I get the chance. He works with the Foreign Office in Washington. He’s quite high up, you know,” Justin said very proudly, perhaps not all that aware of how he could be misconstrued as boasting.

“Oh that’s cool,” Dean said, doing his best to sound as interested as he could.

“How about you, lad? You heading to The States as well?” Justin enquired.

“Yeah, Los Angeles too,” he replied, trying to play down the fact that they were probably going to be leaving on the same plane. It really was a small world after all.

“Ohhh snap,” Justin said, presumably thinking he sounded quite cool, but in his posh-voice he actually sounded as far from cool as it was humanly possible to be.

“Yeah ha-ha… my sister lives out near Santa Monica so I’m going to go and live with her,” he added half-heartedly.

“Santa Monica, ehh? Right near Bel-Air? Why, you’ll be just like that coloured chap in The Fresh Prince!” Justin chided, positively under the impression that he’d just cracked the funniest joke anyone had ever heard. Dean didn’t really see the funny side, but chose to ignore the slightly offensive gag.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, doing his best to muster an awkward laugh and hide his annoyed demeanour.

“I’ll be a little sad to leave, you know. I won’t miss Hogwarts that much, nor the magic. No…I fear that was all a big waste of time now. I should have just gone to Eton like Father had planned. But it will be a shame to leave Oxford. We’ve got a really lovely house there. Of course, we won’t be downsizing in San Francisco, no if anything quite the opposite with house prices over there, but well, you can’t beat home. Where was your parent’s house?”

“Surrey,” Dean said quickly, which wasn’t technically a lie. Surrey was where people from Croydon told people they lived when they wanted it to sound fancier. If they wanted it to sound a bit cooler than they’d say they were from London, although anyone who lived in ‘proper’ London would fiercely argue that Croydon wasn’t really London at all.

“Lived there with my Mum and step-dad as long as I can remember. It’s a shame to have to leave them, but I guess it’s for the best.”

Dean didn’t fail to notice Justin’s slightly raised eyebrow when he’d said that he had a step-dad. He didn’t care what Justin thought of him though.

“Hmm, yes. Not to worry though, Deano. It’s a good time to be leaving Britain anyway really… with Labour back in power the country will soon be bankrupt anyway. It’s a disgrace how much they’re going to spend on welfare. Bloody lefties. You know, it’s actually the wizard’s fault that they got in anyway.”

“You think?” Dean asked in bewilderment.

He knew enough about Wizards to know that they didn’t care in the slightest about muggle politics, let alone know or care enough to actively influence who the Prime Minister was.

“Well yes, it’s obvious really, isn’t it? The Conservatives had no chance of winning the election given everything that’s happened in the last few years. They had enough on their hands with the bloody Irish, but look at all the extra problems they had from the wizards. Mass murderers on the loose. A government funded bridge collapsing unexpectedly. Those bloody Dementors roaming the country making everybody miserable. Poor old John Major never stood a chance! Of course there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t exactly come out and tell everyone that it was actually the incompetence of the wizarding government causing all of it.”

Dean wondered what would have happened if a British Prime Minister had gone on TV and announced to the public that wizards were behind all of the country’s problems. He guessed it would make a change from them blaming all of the foreigners and unemployed people.

“With any luck they’ll all wipe each other out if there is a war,” Justin scorned.

Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You don’t mean-

Justin reacted quickly to Dean’s incredulous response.

“Of course I don’t mean everyone at school. I mean you know, The Death Eaters and the Ministry forces. Almost as bad as each other if you ask me. Everyone else is far too young to be getting involved in a bloody war. Michael and Terry are both adamant they’re going to fight in any battle that they can,” Justin said as if it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard.

Dean had never been that fond of Michael Corner. It was nothing he had done personally, but he’d been Ginny’s ex-boyfriend, so Dean had to hate him on principle. He was emboldened by Michael and Terry Boot’s courage to fight though.

“I had a lot of fun at all of those DA meetings of course,” Justin mumbled.

“It was good to learn more spells from Potter and his friends for self-defence. But that night the Death Eaters raided the school and Professor Snape killed Dumbledore, well. That was it for me. It’s one thing training up for it and all, but I’m not willing to put my neck on the line to stay a part of the magical word. If everyone else wants to throw their life away, well more fool them. Some would call it bravery, but I say it’s just naivety. We’re not even 18, Dean. The days of teenagers being needlessly slain in pointless wars should be left behind in the 1940’s. We’ve made the right choice, pal,” he said solemnly, once again patting Dean on the shoulder.

It was at that moment that Dean suddenly began to question whether he had in-fact made the correct choice.

“You know, Zacharias Smith was even trying to recruit me for some kind of secret resistance movement his uncle is involved in,” he scoffed. “Told me to keep it all very quiet of course, but well, I suppose given the circumstances telling you won’t do any harm, will it?”

“Resistance movement?” Dean asked curiously. He hadn’t been asked to join any resistance movement.

“Yes. His Uncle is an Auror, isn’t he? On quite good terms with that Mad-Eye Moody fellow. He said they’re setting up a top secret resistance movement, recruiting some muggle-borns for some highly classified unofficial operation if You Know Who gets in power. Sounded like a bloody suicide mission to me. Well, as you can imagine, I practically laughed in his face at the idea. What sort of braindead moron would sign up for that?” he scorned.

“Yeah. Right…” Dean replied, but his head with racing with ideas. This was it. He’d wanted to stay and fight, but it wasn’t as if the Wizarding world had an army you could just sign up to when you were 17 like the muggles did. But if this resistance movement had been interested in recruiting Justin, then they’d surely take Dean too.

Dean looked past his old class-mate and saw that Justin’s parents were heading out of the boutique shop with several bags of clothes that they must’ve bought in there for some serious money.

“Ah, well, I suppose I best be off,” Justin murmured, having noticed this development himself.

“I’ll be sure to pop down from first class and come and see you during the flight,” the youngest member of the Finch-Fletchley clan said elegantly, as he reached out to shake Dean’s hand.

“Can’t wait, mate,” Dean replied, trying his best to sound as enthusiastic as possible. Justin’s handshake was almost like a metaphor for his whole character, half-hearted and weak.

“See you in a bit,” Justin said as a parting comment, which Dean mumbled a polite agreement too, although if Dean was honest he would’ve been pretty happy if he’d have never seen him again for the rest of his life.

As it would happen, Dean never boarded that flight bound for Los Angeles – and it would be four years before Dean, or anyone else in the Wizarding world would see or hear from Justin Finch-Fletchley again.

#hp fanfic #hpfanfiction #hp #hpff #hpf #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #harrypotter #dean thomas #deanthomas #gryffindor #justin finch fletchley #hufflepuff #fanfic #fanfiction

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hyunsracha · 5 years

Text

roman holiday — lee felix

word count: 2k

summary: we’ll be lacing the same shoes that we’ve worn through to the bottom of the line.

do you remember the taste of my lips

that night i stole a bit of my mother's perfume?

‘cause i remember when my father put his fist

through the wall that separated the dining room.

you sat on your bed, knees pulled up to your chest as you rocked back and forth. you were wearing your mother’s old prom dress, except you diy-ed it to make it special for you. this would be your first (and probably last) high school dance, and you wanted it to be special. you were wearing your mother’s perfume too. it smelled too mature for your 17 year old self, but it was all you had. you had music playing loudly in your room in an attempt to mask the screams from downstairs. your parents were going at it...again. this was the daily routine at this point, but you wanted this night to be special.

you stopped your rocking when you realized.

fuck.

felix would be here any minute now. he could probably hear the shouts from down the street. you grabbed your phone, pulling up your texts with felix to send him a message.

“don’t come to my house. i’ll meet you on the end of the street.”

you didn’t bother waiting for a reply; felix was a horrible texter. you grabbed your shoes and slipped your phone into a small purse.

you didn’t want to get in the middle of your parent’s argument, so the window was the only option. not like it was a big deal; you snuck out that window a million times before. there was a tree conveniently placed outside, and the branches were sturdy enough to hold your body for the few seconds you needed to brace yourself for the jump. once on the ground, you slipped on your heels and made your way down the street.

your relationship with lee felix was...complicated. he was your best friend - and your only friend - but he wasn’t just your friend. you didn’t know what to call it, and you were too nervous to ask. you knew that friends didn’t sneak their friends into their room just to make out. but boyfriends didn’t cancel plans just to go on a date with someone else.

homecoming was a weird grey area. he asked you to go with him, but did your best friend felix ask? or did your boyfriend felix ask?

felix sat in his father’s car on the end of your street, nervously checking himself out in the mirror. to be honest, he didn’t know if this was a date or not. did you even like him like that? did he even like you like that? he didn’t know. he did know that he liked kissing you. and you were his best friend. so...maybe he did like you? but he also saw you drink a milkshake with two straws, so maybe he didn’t.

while he was thinking himself into a headache, he failed to notice you standing in front of his car until you smacked your hand on the hood. his eyes snapped toward the sound, widening at the sight of you, lit up by his headlights.

you were...stunning.

oh no.

his heart was in trouble.

and i remember the fear in your eyes

the very first time we snuck into the city pool

late december with my heart in my chest and the clouds of my breath

didn't know where we were running to

but don't look back.

felix was used to sneaking you in places, but he wasn’t used to sneaking in places himself. so when you suggested breaking into the city pool, he was terrified. but you were giving him puppy dog eyes, and felix would probably take any chance to see you in your underwear.

“fucking perv.” you had laughed when he explained this to you on the walk over. he laughed too, taking your hand in his and swinging your arms. you looked just like any other couple out on a late night date. except you weren’t a couple. it had been two months since homecoming. two months since you spent the night at felix’s house, kissing and talking about the universe until the sun came up. he took you home in the morning, grabbing your wrist when you tried to get out of the car.

“uh,” he had stuttered, refusing to look you in the eye, “you’re pretty cool.”

“...you’re pretty cool too, felix.” you smiled, peeling his fingers off your wrist before opening the car door. you had turned and waved at felix’s car from your front door before going inside, leaving a fluttery feeling in his chest for the whole drive home.

“it’s probably locked. how are we gonna get in?” felix let go of your hand, placing his hands on his hips as he stared up at the tall building that held your city’s public pool. you snickered, walking up to the front door and opening it.

“no one locks their doors around here, dummy.”

you and felix lived in a small town, where everybody knew everybody. if you were caught sneaking into felix’s house, you would be recognized immediately and they would tell your parents. so you learned to be very cautious.

you wasted no time running into the pool area, peeling off your clothes and jumping in the water. it was cold, due to the fact that it was almost january, but it felt nice. felix stood at the edge, watching the smile grow on your face as you pushed your wet hair back.

“come on, loser! don’t be a coward!” you yelled, smirking up at him. you knew that he saw the word ‘coward’ as a challenge, and you were right. the boy scoffed, taking off his shirt and jeans and jumping in.

he screamed as he came back to the surface, “it’s so FUCKING COLD oh my GOD!”

you couldn’t stop laughing. even after his body got used to the water. even when he was staring at you, his eyes softening as his heart swelled. he swam towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist. you yelped, pushing away from him because you thought he was going to dunk you. but he was stronger than you, and he pulled you closer, repeating your name to try to get you to stop laughing and pushing him away. when you finally calmed down, you rested your arms on his shoulders.

“you’re pretty cool, y/n.”

“you’re pretty cool too, felix.” you smiled, the light underwater casting a blue glow onto your face.

felix felt his heart leap up into his throat. you were so beautiful.

“i want you, y/n.”

“wh- huh?”

“i want you. i wanna...be with you. i want you to be mine.” his words were spoken with a seriousness that you weren’t used to with felix. he always had a smile on his face, so seeing him look so serious sent a shiver down your spine. your smile only widened, and you leaned forward to kiss him.

and you were his.

and he was yours.

could you imagine the taste of your lips

if we never tried to kiss on the drive to queens?

'cause i imagine the weight of your ribs

if you lied between my hips in the backseat.

you and felix skipped town the day after graduation. a cross country trip to new york is what you two wanted, so it’s what you two were going to get. felix stole his dad’s car, claiming that, “that dick never drove it anyway, so he won’t notice.”

no jobs, no plans, and hardly any money. but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

nights were the scary part, though. felix would park the car at a random rest stop, and you two would sleep in the big backseat/trunk area, as you couldn’t afford motels. you would lay in felix’s arms, unable to sleep, and just think.

oh god, what are you going to do?

you had hardly any money, how the hell were you two gonna afford to live in new york of all places? where would you work? what could you even Do?

you brought up these concerns over breakfast the next morning, sharing a bag of chips and a bott;e of gatorade. felix just chuckled, reaching across the bench you two were sitting at and grabbing your hand.

“we’ll figure it out. there’s nothing we can’t do together, yeah?” his eyes were so hopeful, you couldn’t help but nod and stutter out a soft reply. he kissed you then, filling you with confidence and optimism.

and i imagine the tears in your eyes

the very first night i'll sleep without you.

and when it happens i'll be miles away

and a few months late

didn't know where i was running to

but i won't look back.

hope didn’t last very long.

4 months, to be exact.

you hate new york. you hate your job at a shitty little hole-in-the-wall cafe where your boss doesn’t even remember your name. you hate your crummy little apartment with the cracks in the walls and no heat.

but you don’t hate felix. you could never hate felix.

you hate the person he’s become.

he’s cold, and at first you thought it was just from stress, but he’s cold even after sleeping for 12 hours and being awoken by breakfast in bed from the only person he’s ever loved. he’s cold on holidays, and yeah he doesn’t like the 4th of july very much but why can’t he just light a sparkler with you and obnoxiously scream the lyrics to party in the usa like he’s done every year before?

he has his moments though, like when he finds you crying in the living room over some tv show he’s never heard of. and he’ll pull you into his grip, rocking you gently and softly singing in your ear. like he used to.

but it’s not enough. fleeting moments every few weeks isn’t enough to make you stay.

you get home that night, well aware that you have a few hours before felix comes back. you don’t have much to pack, it only takes a few minutes. you think you’re crying, but you’re not really sure. you don’t want to look in the mirror to check, because the edges of your bathroom mirror are covered in polaroids of you and your angel from high school. and maybe seeing the felix you fell in love with will make you want to stay with this felix you no longer know.

so you keep going.

you zip up your backpack, taking a $20 out from your wallet and placing it down on the kitchen counter. you take out an old, crumpled-up receipt, smoothing it out on the counter before writing.

and that’s the last thing you do before you head out the door, placing your set of keys under the mat.

felix gets home late. his boss hates him and makes him do extra paperwork all the time with no overtime. he opens the door, expecting to see you curled up on the couch, watching your shows.

you’re not here.

the apartment feels cold.

he enters your shared bedroom. maybe you’re taking a nap, waiting for him to come home.

you’re not.

the closet is open. half of the clothes are gone.

oh, god.

felix realizes what’s happening.

this can’t be happening.

he runs into the kitchen, seeing a $20 and a receipt with your handwriting, written in your favorite sharpie. he reads it:

i love you.

but i don’t know who you are anymore.

i had to leave.

i’m sorry. please don’t come looking for me.

his eyes well up with tears.

how is he supposed to do this without you?

he crumples up the receipt, throwing it at the wall. he knows he’ll come back for it later. he goes into the - his - bedroom, flopping down on the bed, shoving his face into the pillow as he begins to sob.

he loves you. oh, he loves you so much. how could you do this? how could you leave him like this?

he can’t really blame you. he would leave him, too.

it takes felix a long time to fall asleep, clutching onto your pillow. it smells like you, and maybe that’ll trick his brain into having happy dreams about you.

and when the sun rises, felix ignores it. and when his alarm rings, he ignores it. he holds your pillow even closer.

he hopes that maybe, just maybe, he can sleep this pain away.

#felix #lee felix #stray kids #skz #felix scenarios #lee felix scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #felix imagines #lee felix imagines #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids felix #skz felix #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader

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fmdjaewonarchive · 4 years

Text

► reply.

date(s): 6 september - 23 september 2020 mentions of: charm (very brief but i thought it was fun to mention), @fmdsamsoo word count: +/- 1850 (minus lyrics) warnings: jaewon being gay tw details: fmdos2, the creative process behind reply, basically jaewon is really fucking gay, that’s the solo. i could’ve split this up into two solo’s probably but i like to have the whole creative process in one place plus i need to write about his performance still anyway.

a part of jaewon still had a hard time puzzling together that somehow, someway he had actually managed to secure the first place last round. it was nice of course, alarm was an incredibly personal song to him and he didn’t know how his already brittle self-esteem would’ve taken the blow had he ended up in the bottom ranks but as nice as it was, it was still unexpected.

there was, however, no time to perfectly puzzle out how exactly he felt about the result, the bliss short-lived as he found himself back in the studio’s of dimensions entertainment mere days after, ready to do the whole circus all over again only this time with a much, much harder mission. colors were a vague concept to write a song around after all and a part of jaewon felt back in high school all over again, the familiar anxiety of receiving a very unspecific task that somehow had to fulfill the criteria set that were completely unknown to him. he didn’t like that gnawing in the back of his mind, having to second guess if maybe, he was interpreting this in a way that wasn’t expected of him.

if anything, jaewon felt lucky that he didn’t have to tackle the task alone (even if it still felt a bit like cheating) finding himself back in the studio with the same producer from before. jaewon kind of felt for the man, seemingly assigned to deal with him for however long his run on the show was gonna be.

“look who we have there, if it isn’t our big winner.” the producer greeted him enthusiastically and jaewon received the compliment with a hint of a blush and a quick bow of his head. “ah, thank you, but please the credit is just as much yours as it’s mine hyung, i couldn’t have pulled it off without your help.”

the man just shook his head. “always with the humility, enjoy a nice thing for once buddy, you’ve earned it.” he turned to the computer in front of him. “unfortunately, i don’t think we have much more time for pleasantries and celebrations, we’re short on time as always so what are you looking for?”

and that was the million dollar question wasn’t it. what was jaewon looking for? the color white, apparently. and someone in direct contrast with his last song. those two together meant something far out of his comfort zone. but truly, that wasn’t as telling as one would assume it was. truth be told, jaewon’s comfort zone was very small (both in terms of music and well… in general). most things were outside of his comfort zone.

“okay… so… remember what we did last time?” jaewon asked, more rethorical than anything yet still waiting for the producer to confirm with a nod. “forget all of that, we’re completely abandoning that. i need a complete 180.”

the look the producer shot him was one of mild despair and mentally, jaewon noted that after all of this was over, he owed the man much, much more than just a meal to thank him for all his efforts.

“i need something that doesn’t sound like anything i’ve ever done before. not by myself, not with my collaborations, not with unity, not even with champion. something people would never associate with me.” he elaborated further and the more he spoke, the more the other man seemed to form an idea.

“okay, that i can do. but tell me jaewon, do you think you can wave the brooding angsty vibe goodbye for one song?” it would’ve felt like a dig if well… the question wasn’t so valid. jaewon’s whole image was created around being dark and mysterious with a bit of a sexier push from dimensions. he could show up with a song completely different from that, but could he pull it off?

“yeah, yeah i can.”

when jaewon left the studio, it was with an instrumental filled with light-hearted, bouncing piano chords woven together with a deeper drum sound. he could work with this, he could make this work.

-----------------------------------------------------

with kick it promotions wrapped up and little schedules outside of that, jaewon has plenty of time to withdraw himself in either one of the many studios of dimensions entertainment or the one back in his and soo’s apartment (the perks of both being involved in making music, a home studio was a must).

unlike for alarm, where jaewon had just forced himself to stare at an empty document until some semblance of an idea, this time the process was more guided. there was a lot of mood setting, browsing visuals of… white things. because that was the theme had to run with after all right, whatever that was supposed to mean. but also going through music, listening to songs much softer than what he was used to.

first just unity’s music, songs on their softer side. like touch for example, or 0 mile, but also a large chunk of their unity zone album (pandora’s box, daydream, love me now). none of them had the same playful edge the instrumental had, all on the softer side rather than the cute side but it was a step in the right direction. especially for jaewon who had always gravitated to the grittier, more experimental, noise-heavier sound of unity’s music. it was good to remind himself he’d done lighter before, that he could again.

it wasn’t just unity’s music though. jaewon doubted he’d ever listen to as much charm music as he did for writing this song.

so the first few studio days were spent spitting through reference material, both audio and visual, the most jaewon actually wrote a list of vague ideas, feelings, directions he could take the song in without, you know, actually writing lyrics.

the actual concept for reply came, funnily enough, completely by accident.

it’d been the fourth consecutive day jaewon had locked himself away in a recording studio in the company’s headquarters. it hadn’t been the plan to be away from home so much but he was on the verge of a breakthrough, he could feel it, all he did was try a little harder.

and still most of the day passed without much progress.

fine then, a small break was probably in place with how it had started bleeding into the evening already and jaewon retrieved his phone from wherever he had discarded it, not having looked at it for hours as he had been too busy with the creative process (even if, truly, he hadn’t achieved much).

unlocking his phone, he was immediately met with a row of text notifications, all from samsoo.

[ 09:16 incomming message : my universe ] i saw you already left, what time will you be home? [ 14:48 incomming message : my universe ] i’m going to get groceries, is there anything you need? [ 16:04 incomming message : my universe ] don’t overwork yourself jagiya [ 18:35 incomming message : my universe ] i’m assuming you won’t be home for dinner, there are leftovers in the fridge [ 19:22 incomming message : my universe ] just let me know what time you get home yeah? [ 19:59 incomming message : my universe ] jagiya?

of course, jaewon felt bad for leaving his boyfriend unanswered for so long, still, a part of him couldn’t help but smile fondly at the texts, warmth spreading in his chest at the concern, a feeling no one other than samsoo had ever been able to evoke in him.

that much had to be worth a song right?

jaewon could work with this, but of course not before responding to his boyfriend.

[ 20:31 outgoing message : my universe ] sorry, i lost track of time [ 20:31 outgoing message : my universe ] i just got an idea so it will be few hours still probably [ 20:32 outgoing message : my universe ] let me make it up to you tomorrow? no plans or anything, just us [ 20:33 outgoing message : my universe ] i love you, see you in a few hours

after that, his phone ended up back where it had been all those previous hours, after all, he had better things to focus on, like writing. he wanted a song that did justice to the happiness he felt whenever hearing from soo, how his heart felt lighter with every text message, every phone call from his boyfriend that had pretty much been dragging him through the workload that mainly had come with champion lately.

even two years into their relationship, their was a certain giddiness that came whenever his boyfriend’s name popped up on his phone, especially when the two of them were separated for a longer period of time.

it's a waste of time being alone and i'm waiting for your reply

the more lyrics he writes, the more he deviates from his original inspiration, somewhere along the line deciding to depict a relationship in its earlier stages rather than his own. as lovestruck as him and soo still were up to this day, jaewon had no doubts that he had been even more whipped, even more impatient to spend more time as a couple than he was today. this wasn’t supposed to just be about his relationship, it was supposed to have a universal feeling to it, something almost everyone could relate to.

i don't want to be alone let's just go out to the cafe on a day like this

it seemed a fitting theme for the color white, the excitement and eagerness of young love. of anxiously awaiting a text message even though you’d seen each other a few minutes ago, almost obsessively yet so innocent, so well-intended that it’s hard to attach a negative connotation to it. a helpless, awkward kind of impatience as you’re still figuring out the ins and outs of dating.

ya, what are you doing, except for me, call me what are you doing?

some more hours passed but eventually, jaewon finished the song a little before midnight. it was still a draft, some parts would undoubtedly have to be tweaked, words swapped out to be more fitting but it’s just fine-tuning, it can wait.

at the moment, jaewon just wanted to return home to soo with the same eagerness in his heart that he had just written down for reply.

-----------------------------------------------------

(he did end up fine-tuning the lyrics but not until the 23rd, the day he went in for recording and producing the final version of the song. ideally, he would have waited with the final recording until after the demo performances the next day but with champion leaving for america almost immediately, there was no time for that, the deadline slated for when he would be in the state. this would have to do instead, trying to get done the majority of the work before he left and if anything needed to be changed after the demo recording, any unforseen feedback, suggestions of criticism, jaewon would have to trust on his co-producer to take care of it. not that the thought worried him, the man was probably more skilled than he was anyway.)

#fmdos2 #*:･ﾟ♛– «filled with all these empty moments» // solos.#«our songs // era.»#//400+ words huh #//go big or go home ig

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stcrr · 4 years

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elle fanning. cis female. she/her. ／ lorelei “lorrie” gunther just pulled up blasting which witch by florence + the machine — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty-three year old musician, i’ve heard they’re really -reclusive, but that they make up for it by being so +observant. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say chipped glitter nail polish, a silver gilt mirror, losing yourself in the beat of the music. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( ally, 22, est, she/her )

me: i don’t have a type when it comes to muses! also me: unveils this new muse that is also introverted and anxious but this time with more glitter. anyways, meet lorelei, starr to her fans, and lorrie to her friends, an observant girl, gifted mimic, misfit, mirror, and musician. kind of a jem and the holograms/hannah montana/perfect blue hybrid. details under the cut, like for me to hyu to plot !!

(also her pinterest im really proud of it you guys)

statistics.

full name. lorelei amelia gunther. nicknames. lorrie. aliases. starr. occupation. singer-songwriter. age. twenty-three. date of birth. february 1st, 1997. nationality. american. ethnicity. white (austrian and irish). gender | orientation. cis female | queer. hometown. boston, ma. zodiac sign. aquarius sun, scorpio moon, pisces rising career/voice claim. lorde.

height. 5′9 weight. 120lbs build. willowy. distinguishing features. wide eyes, full lips, constant bags, probably has glitter in her hair. health. 7/10; has no major illnesses but eats like shit, has a whack sleep schedule, is a dysfunctional adult basically. she’s also big depressed but you know how it be.

positive traits. ambitious, intuitive, observant, imaginative, independent, neutral traits. talkative, intense, impressionable, negative traits. anxious, avoidant, moody, secretive, resentful, aloof,

likes. the nighttime, storms, baggy clothes, mountains, weed, lsd, books, blanket forts, lying on the floor, singing, cryptids, cemeteries, dislikes. being herself, deadlines, dolls/puppets, the paparazzi, social media, planning ahead, the outdoors, conflict, the beach,

history.

(tw suicide mention, anxiety attack) (tldr at the bottom)

her mother called her lorelei after the sirens of the rhine; she insisted her first cries were the sweetest song. and lorelei continued to have a beautiful voice; she sang more than she spoke. but only at home.

she never responded to lorelei, though, not really; it felt too grand for her. she was a chicken-legged girl who liked overalls and goosebumps books. she was just lorrie.

she grew up in a lower-middle class region of boston, ma. her father was a salesman, and her mother was a travel agent.

for a while, at school, she didn’t speak at all. she was diagnosed with selective mutism at age five, and it took until she was thirteen to overcome it completely.

this was not at all helped by the fact that her parents had a nasty divorce when she was seven years old. her father used her mother’s ten-year-old suicide attempt against her in court to prove she wasn’t stable, and gained full custody of lorelei and her two older brothers. her oldest brother, matthias, sided with their father, but the middle brother, jeremias, sided with their mom, and tried to run away to his mother’s house basically every month. he ran away for good when he was fifteen, living with his girlfriend’s family.

what helped her overcome this selective mutism, at least at first, was her middle school drama class. at home, lorelei had always been an excellent mimic. she did her favorite impressions for her drama teacher, and she encouraged her to try some monologues and scenes. as she got better at acting, she realized that she didn’t have to be herself; she could be somebody else. and that made talking all the easier.

by high school, she was no longer selectively mute, but was still anxious and shy. she was, however, a total drama kid, and still loved to act. she could be outrageous, incredible on stage; she wasn’t being herself, after all, so if people were judging her, it was the character they were judging, not her.

still she was def the kind of girl who had a mental breakdown every four months and dyed/cut her hair/gave herself bangs. she could never quite shake the feeling that she was an outsider looking in, separated, different.

she still loved music, and as she grew older, she started to write songs. it was her secret dream to be a musician. one of her theater friends talked her into singing one of them when she was sixteen, and then encouraged her to try out for the talent show. she was able to get through the audition, though she was a little nervous, but she knew it would be fine. she was on stage all the time, this would be fine.

but this time, she had to be herself in front of the entire school, and she froze up, not a sound leaving her lips. she doesn’t remember leaving the stage; only remembers that suddenly, she was in the girls bathroom, sobbing her eyes out.

her friends comforted her that night, partying in their basement like they always did, but thats when lorrie had an idea. what if she didn’t perform as herself?

that’s when a starr was born.

as lorelei dressed herself up in all the holo and glitter she had, she created starr in her head; she was born beloved, charismatic, fearless, this glitz and glamor girl who had it all, but what now? even at the top, she found emptiness. she was a beautiful supernova, so breathtaking you forgot she was really a collapsing star.

starr was lorrie’s ultimate muse; she wrote song after song for her in the next few months, until, finally, she asked some of her friends to help her record a music video. she didn’t expect this music video to get 60 million views in a matter of weeks.

royals, of course, blew the fuck up, and she had people calling her house to get her to sign with this record company or that record company, and her eventual producer flew her out to la with her dad. and, of course, the rest is history. (her dad also blew a lot of the money she earned as a minor but she got rid of him and that’s neither here nor there.)

however, as she got more and more into the la lifestyle, she began to rely more and more on starr as an alter ego. people liked starr, after all, and lorrie didn’t even like herself. she played the part of the dignified, wise, and eccentric former queen during interviews, when recording, at after parties and award shows.

even her first major relationship she got while acting like starr, someone fearless and fun, basically a manic pixie dream girl. if you’ve ever listened to the album melodrama, then you know how badly that ended.

that’s around when she realized that starr had taken over her entire life. coming home from a house party absolutely zonked, she looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize herself, didn’t see that nerdy, overall-clad chicken-legged girl from her family pictures.

she stripped her clothes off, scraped the makeup off her face until her skin was red and dry, dragged a brush through her hair to get rid of all the product, and pulled on a hoodie and leggings she had brought with her to la a year ago. she wrote the first draft of all the songs in melodrama in the coming hours.

however, she still wrote from starr’s perspective, knew she’d perform it as starr. it may be far more personal, but lorrie wasn’t ready to come out just yet. in fact, she’s kind of been hiding the last year or so, a full-on depression mess.

tl;dr lower middle class nerdy girl from boston overcomes crippling social anxiety through acting, finesses this into an alter ego to be a musician, hits it big, loses herself in the alter ego, has a disastrous relationship, and tries to become herself again.

present.

first of all, her real name is Known to the public, but not her “brand” outside of starr. it’s proven to be a boon as of late; she’s known for basically being a walking sailor moon cosplayer, not a skinny woman in baggy jeans and a big black hoodie.

since she’s trying to work on herself, she’s kind of in a creative slump. like, she still has more than enough royalties off her music to keep her going, but her agent and producer are both pushing her to clean up some of her songs and record them for a new album. she can still write as starr, but it feels... different, now. melodrama was far more personal than pure heroine, and she wants to continue to grow; writing as starr feels like reverting back to her sixteen year old self. but she’s too scared to write as herself So....

at events though she’s still in the gauze and stars people expect from starr.

trying to reach out to her mom and brother jer again. not her dad, fuck her dad.

loves true crime, the supernatural, and conspiracy thought. is probably watching a true crime doc rn.

she’s just starting to leave her house for the first time in like... a year? like she’s only started to get out again in the last few months.

as for drugs, she def drinks, but she’s more likely to smoke weed. also, she’s a big fan of lsd, but holds herself off to only tripping every few months.

is considering moving to the woods and being the lonely crone everyone whispers about. or maybe switching to voice acting.

she fuckin hates dolls. literally her worst nightmare is being trapped in some collectors’ doll rooms.

wanted connections.

melodrama ex (0/1) - the ex she wrote her breakup album about. can be any gender. i literally want this connection so bad kfdskjkadsfds

best friend (0/1) - someone who was with her throughout her... Transformation

squad (0/3) - bc who doesn't love a squad. this is the vibe i’m going for (sound warning)

icon (1/1) - someone lorrie looks up to and like... majorly doesn't wanna disappoint. - filled by kami!!!

musician buddies (0/?) - they bounce lyrics off of each other, you know how it is.

rival pop star (0/1) - idk i just think it would be Neat. maybe even with a plot that they had a major falling out and now they have to pretend to get along.

hookups (0/?) - or other messy shit

texting crush (0/1) - really weird concept but like... i imagine lorrie would have the number or snap or insta or whatever of this muse and they get talking after melodrama and she just... lays it all out. they don't really talk in person, but she feels really close to them and definitely develops a crush

weed buddy (0/1) - they come to her house and smoke and complain its great

friend turned enemy (0/1) - maybe someone who adored starr but doesn't like who she is now?????? idk idk

enemy turned friend (0/1) - maybe someone who thought starr was fake af but then meets lorrie being Herself and is just like "oh you're a Human" idk idk

bonus.

as a thank you for making it to the end of this fucking enormous intro, please take a moment to enjoy these tik toks reflective of lorrie’s personality (they’re also???? great on their own)

lorrie talking/singing to herself alone in her house

honestly she has tinkerbell vibes

drunk mouths speak sober thoughts

and thats on mental illness

#excess:intro #admittedly another novel #also i've been vibing to pure heroine all day and like #im going THROUGH IT #suicide mention tw #anxiety attack tw #drugs tw #also a notice i am not going to be making an open starter since... the event is TOMORROW so #i'll just reply to a few

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movedtovincneil-blog · 5 years

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IF I DIE TOMORROW - VINCE NEIL

warnings: language, fighting, mention of a car accident, a non-graphic hospital scene, mention of death, ANGST

papers were strewn across the floor, the chairs and table had been thrown about and flipped over, one of the guitars that previously hung on the studio wall had been smashed into a million pieces, and three fourths of the band were at each other’s throats.

“what the fuck is your problem, vince? you’ve been acting real fucking strange these past few weeks,” you heard nikki yell which prompted you to stop in the doorway. you had noticed vince’s strange behavior too although it was never directed towards you specifically.

“i don’t have a problem, i’m perfectly fine! you guys are the ones with a problem! overreacting at every little fucking thing i say or do,” vince retorted. a grin found its way to tommy’s face as he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“dude, you’re the one overreacting. you don’t like a lyric that nikki has written down for you? you scrape the whole fucking song. i accidentally play at the wrong time? you break my fucking drumsticks. mick plays the wrong chord? you give him a fucking death glare.”

nikki, while turning to toss his notebook into his chair, spoke up, “you need to get a fucking grip man. you’re really starting to piss us off,” when nikki was face-to-face with vince again, it took two seconds for vince’s fist to come into contact with his jaw. you hadn’t meant to gasp but you weren’t expecting vince to straight up punch nikki like that. vince turned in a swift, almost spinning motion, opening his mouth to speak and taking a step towards you but tommy’s fist connecting with his jaw made him stumble backwards.

before it became a two against one brawl, you stomped towards them just in time to get between vince and nikki. you had one hand on each of their chests; you could feel their rapid heartbeats. you focused sternly on nikki who had his arm pulled back, ready to throw a punch at vince.

“nikki, drop your arm,” you spoke in a harsh but gentle voice. when nikki didn’t falter, you just barely pushed vince away from the two of you, turning your whole body towards nikki and putting both hands on his chest.

“drop your arm. now.” nikki raised a brow and glanced down into your eyes. immediately, he sighed in defeat and rolled his eyes, dropping his arm. you turned your attention back to vince who was holding his jaw, wincing ever so slightly.

“you’re coming with me.”

—

you handed the ice pack to vince who hesitantly took it and lightly placed it on his bruised jaw. he mumbled a quiet thank you, but you chose to ignore it.

“seriously what is your problem?“ you were determined to get an answer out of him though in a less violent approach. “something has to be wrong because quite frankly, you’ve been a complete dick to everyone for no good reason.” vince exhaled deeply and you took note of how relaxed his body became, a sign that he was getting frustrated and would probably turn this conversation into an argument.

“nothing is wrong—“

“okay, vince, i’m your girlfriend, not your band mate, so you’re gonna tell me what the fuck is wrong,” you cut him off speaking in such a sharp tone that you yourself internally winced.

vince hesitated for a moment, “i’m unhappy in our relationship,” he blurted out. all the anger and frustration you’d felt was replaced with sadness and confusion.

“you’re what? unhappy?”

vince wanted to punch himself. that’s not what he had wanted to say, he just panicked. in fact, he felt quite the opposite of unhappy.

“no, fuck…” vince couldn’t save himself from this one. he told himself to just give it up and tell you but that would lead to his worst fears coming true although, the way this conversation was going, they were gonna come true anyway.

“vince?” you whispered in an almost shaky and cracky voice. you were trying so hard to keep your cool in front of him. you weren’t about to break down in tears and scream and yell; you were gonna pretend that it didn’t affect you. this was vince neil after all, notoriously known for being a womanizer.

he was quiet and unmoving, rapidly searching for an explanation in his head but by the time he came back to reality, you were gone. his already rapid heartbeat picked up tremendously, if that was even possible, and he dashed up the stairs. you were putting the last of your things in your suitcase and mumbling quietly into your phone.

“baby wait, please baby wait,” vince pleaded, almost in tears himself. seeing how calm you were about all this destroyed him; his worst fears were true and real and happening right before his eyes. he felt helpless as you turned your back towards him and left the room, going downstairs.

“y/n, for fucks sake, please stop!” he yelled when he reached the bottom of the steps, seeing your hand on the doorknob. you sighed and lowered your phone from your ear. you didn’t face him and you spoke so calmly that vince felt like he had been shot.

“goodbye vince.”

—

having nowhere else to go, you stayed with mick for the past two weeks. you could hardly remember those two weeks, it all seemed like such a blur. it seemed to be an endless cycle of battling with your thoughts, crying, the guys trying to comfort you to the best of their abilities, and sleeping. you felt lost and empty without vince and it didn’t help that no one could find or contact him.

you had fallen asleep on mick’s couch after two sleepless nights and a lot of muffled cries. mick sat at the island in his kitchen and sighed to himself. he wanted to punch the shit out of vince but he was his best friend and band mate. tommy and nikki were in this predicament as well but since vince was still absent, they focused all their attention on you.

the phone ringing brought mick out of his thoughts and he got up to answer it, “hello?”

“hi, is this mick mars?”

“who’s asking?”

“this is melinda avery with the local hospital. you are one of the emergency contacts for a mr. vince neil who was admitted half an hour ago.”

“what happened?”

“mr. neil was in a car accident, things seem to be looking unfortunately fatal. i’m really sorry.”

—

you sat shakily in the hospital chair, tommy to your left, mick to you right, and nikki leaning against the wall opposite of you three. the words that mick had repeated back to you played on a loop in your head.

‘vince. car accident. fatal.’

so caught up in your thoughts, you almost didn’t hear the doctor say you were welcome to enter the room but that vince was unconscious and in bad condition.

“mr. neil is still fighting to stay alive but his injuries are overpowering him. as hard as it is to say this, now is probably the best time to say goodbye as there is a chance he could hear it and process it, even though he is unconscious.”

you were the last one to go in. you couldn’t quite describe how you felt, you were distraught and scared to say the least. seeing the state that vince was in crushed you and you rushed to his side, gently gripping his hand and letting the tears fall free.

this moment was so jumbled up for you that you recalled it as it all happened. you remembered apologizing for everything, the fight, the walking out, the not waiting for an explanation. you remembered kissing his hand and then his cheek, praying to god that he would wake up and everything would be fine. you remembered hearing the heart monitor flatline and feeling your heartbreak as you buried you head ever so lightly on his chest.

“please come back to me.”

“for fucks sake, wake up, im begging you.”

“goodbye vince neil.”

“i love you.”

“you’re my everything.”

#vince neil #vince neil imagine #vince neil x reader #the dirt #the dirt 2019 #the dirt imagine #motley crue imagine #nikki sixx imagine #tommy lee imagine #mick mars imagine #daniel webber

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vintagevalentinex · 4 years

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Please

Alright so here is the sequel to Smile! For a while I was really struggling to figure out how to write a continuation of that story because I really wanted to. I had two ideas in my head, and knew that both were probably going to play out anyway, so I just started writing and here we are. I hope you all like it!

I used two songs in this story as my inspiration. The first is The Man That Got Away sung by Judy Garland. You can hear that here.

The second song I used is Thank You by Led Zeppelin. You can hear that here.

I strongly encourage that you listen to the songs so you get an idea of the mood of the story!

Let me know if you want a third story. I already have something loosely in mind! :)

@bovaria

@icecream-and-winchesters

@abaddonwithyall

Title: Please Author: vintagevalentinexx Words: ~1660 Pairing: (Dean x Reader) Warnings: Angst. A smidgen of fluff. And then more angst.

You tidied up a little in your small apartment, clad only in a tanktop and panties, just about ready to turn in for the night when you hear a knock at the door. You furrow your eyebrows. Who the hell is knocking at this time of night. I don’t even know anybody in this bumblefuck of a town. You grab your gun off the coffee table, taking quiet steps towards the door, cursing everything as you wish you had a peephole on the door. Great, I guess I’ll just wing it. Gun in one hand, you pull the door open wide, gun cocked right in the knocker’s face. It takes you a moment, but you finally lower your weapon, eyes full of confusion and sadness.

“How did you find me?” …. …. …. “Hello, sweetheart.”

The night is bitter, The stars have lost their glitter; The winds grow colder And suddenly you’re older - And all because of the man that got away.

No more his eager call, The writing’s on the wall; The dreams you dreamed have all Gone astray.

You stand there unspeaking, unable to form any words, your mind racing a million miles an hour, wondering how on earth Dean could have found you. You deliberately covered your tracks, trying to get off the grid and off of the hunter’s network as much as possible. Clearly your hard work was in vain because in front of you were those gorgeous, forest green eyes that you thought you’d never see again.

Dean shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes slowly taking you in. It had been so long since he’d seen you, been with you, that he couldn’t help himself as his eyes slowly raked over your form. You were so beautiful. And it wasn’t just because he could never take your eyes off of you when you wore those particular pair of jeans. It was because of the way you smiled, the way you twirled your hair between your fingers when you were bored, the way your laugh twinkled in his ear. There were so many beautiful things about you, but you were still one of the fiercest hunters he’d ever met. You were predatory and aggressive while you hunted; that would never be debated, but the way you moved, you stalked elegantly and graceful, almost feline in your approach.

It was mesmerizing. And he was completely captivated by you.

The man that won you Has gone off and undone you. That great beginning Has seen the final inning. Don’t know what happened. It’s all a crazy game! No more that all-time thrill, For you’ve been through the mill - And never a new love will Be the same.

He chewed on his lip as he waited for you to say something. Anything. You continued to look at him, still in shock that he was standing right in front of you.

Dean’s eyes finally met your own.

“So…uh…ya gonna let me in?”

And you slammed the door in his face.

You leaned back against the door, knowing that he was still there, a loud groan signaling his presence.

“C’mon (Y/N) don’t be like that! At least talk to me.”

You rolled your eyes, taking a deep breath, everything that you and Dean shared rushing back to you. You tried to blink away a few stray tears, biting the side of your finger, otherwise you know a sob would escape past your lips.

Why did he have to show up? It’s hard enough dealing with this alone every day. Doesn’t he know how hard this is for me?!

“Please…Please, (Y/N). At least say something.”

Good riddance, good-bye! Ev'ry trick of his you’re on to. But, fools will be fools - And where’s he gone to?

The road gets rougher, It’s lonelier and tougher. With hope you burn up - Tomorrow he may turn up. There’s just no letup the live-long night and day!

You continued to stare there, trying to slow down the rapid beating of your heart. You pressed the back of your head to the door, closing your eyes, everything from the past couple of months brought back to the front of your mind. There was no denying that you missed him. You had thought it would get easier as time went on, but you were finding that it was actually becoming more and more difficult without him. The day you left it was as if you left a part of yourself in that bunker, somewhere between the cheeseburgers and the ancient books of lore is where it resided. It was somewhere in the garage, lingering in the impala, and on the old speakers that Dean and you rigged up to dance like idiots all through the bunker.

You fought a smile, shaking your head, knowing that being with him again meant more pain, being ignored, and loud, boisterous fights. Could he change? Would he ever be different? Could he be different for me?

“Please, (Y/N). Don’t tell me that you can’t remember a single time when we were happy!”

It was a chilly late September night when Dean practically abducted you out of the bunker to take a ride with him. (“Where are we going, Dean? I have a lot of work to get done in the library. Can’t we just go back to the bunker?” “Live a little, (Y/N), you’re becoming a little too attached to that library. Can’t have you turning into a girl version of Sammy.”)

He wouldn’t tell you where you were going so you just leaned your head on the window of the impala, smiling to yourself as you listened to Dean sing off-key to a Led Zeppelin song:

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by. My love is strong, with you there is no wrong, together we shall go until we die. My, my, my. An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look… see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles, Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one. Happiness, no more be sad, happiness….I’m glad. If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

He would look at you every so often, singing the lyrics to you while you giggled, his hand ever so present on your knee as the both of you drove into the night. After what seemed like at least an hour of driving, Dean had finally pulled over onto the side of the road, looking at you and waggling his eyebrows before he drove the impala into the field beside the highway. You looked at him inquisitively and all you got in return was one of his shit-eating smirks that drove you crazy. You rolled your eyes as you watched him get out of the car to rifle around in the trunk. He finally came around to your side, wrenching your door open so you were blasted with the chill of the night. He produced a blanket that you were about to snatch from him but he moved it out of your reach, taking your hand into his as he pulled you around to the front of the car.

You huffed at him, Dean chuckling under his breath as he laid the blanket out on the hood of the car, turning to you and picking you up by your hips, depositing you onto the hood. He climbed up beside you, shrugging his jacket off to drape it around your shoulders, pulling you close to the heat of his body.

“This is all I need. You and Baby.”

“Who are you talking to, Dean? Me or the car?”

He chuckled. “What could be better? My baby on top of Baby. This is the life.””

You rolled your eyes, your lips parting into a smile.

“You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m yours.”

“Please, (Y/N). Just let me know you’re there.” His voice sounded strangled, the way you know it sounded when he was trying to choke back tears.

“Please…”

You shook your head, holding yourself, your arms wrapped around your body as you blinked back a few more tears, knowing that this was the best for the both of you. He just didn’t know it yet, but you knew eventually that he would understand that you were doing something for the both of you. You were trying to be strong for the both of you so he could save the world like he always had to. He did not need you as another thing to worry about in his life, and it was hard enough to be with him during the good times.

As you went to go throw on a pair of pajama bottoms your heart began to race, all of the memories too overwhelming to stop thinking about. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you should just hear him out. It was kind of a dick move to leave him at the door like that. As your hand reached the doorknob, your heart race, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what kind of outcome this was going to have. Hopefully you could just get him out of your system if you heard him out and saw him one last time.

You turned the knob, pulling the door open, mumbling something about how he could come inside if he wanted to.

Ever since this world began There is nothing sadder than A one-man woman looking for The man that got away…. The man that got away.

But he was gone.

Read Part 3

#spn #dean #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester/reader #repost #new blog

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