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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia

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ramblesofajester · 3 years

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whispers of a witch (chap1/?

this is just a self indulgent fic for me to write when I feel like shit and yes it will have nsfw

info: they/them, curvy body, glasses, anxiety.

The cool wind sweep past your cheek as you squat down, fingers numbing and turning blue from the constant foraging across the forest floor to fine the herbs you require, its late winter and you have just run out of several herbs you use quite frequently for personal use and when healing the villagers. of course as always there is a catch when you need to get something done. one, you where delivering a baby a good portion of the day, then doing your normal round with the villagers, so soon night is to fall, two the Lycians have been testing there luck with the village borders as of resent, three the only place those herbs are left growing are near Heisenberg's land due to you harvesting all the more accessible ones previously. and just to top it all of duke wouldn't be able to gather a shipment until the next new moon, that being two weeks away so here you are right before dusk cut plants with frozen fingers outside of a missive chain-link fence in the middle of the woods. Gazing around, you are in a small clearing, the village is about a mile, mile and a half to the south west of here. the factory's smoke stacks just visible over the tree line. Sighing you focus on the task at hand, slowly griping the base of the plant you say thanks to the earth and pull it up root and all, listening to the birds as there song slowly drifted thru the trees. standing up you, make your way over to the next bushel of plants emerging from the thin coat of snow. suddenly all the brides stop singing setting off of several alarms in your brain knowing its wasn't you who disturbed them wiping around, franticly looking you hear and see movement all around you just out of sight in the brush you cant tell what it is. assuming it to be Lycians or and angry bear or even a stray ghoul from the castle grounds. garbing the dagger from your boot you crouch down to an defensive position slowly making your way toward the path you came from. as you take a step back slowly a few Lycian emerge from the tree line teeth bared eyes holding a burning hunger. a soft gasp leaves your lips if there are this many you know more are soon to follow

"well shit, I couldn't just go and have an easy day now could I?" you ask the Lycians sarcastically not really expecting a reply. a deep chuckle caught you off guard and in your shock you hear the swift shifting of metal. the feeling of cold steel on your ankle stealing your attention from the fast change of gravity as you are hoisted into the air, dangling like a prized fish. attempting to regain your bearings. you look around seeing the Lycian pack now completely surrounding you.

"well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in," standing clear in the path arm outstretched to hold the chain around you feet taking a step further with every word.

"a lost little bunny, who is hoping around where they should not be..." he says in a little tune with mirth in his step. finally stopping right in front of you raising you so your face is level with his shoulders you reach out attempting to swipe at him with you dagger, as soon as you weapon is revealed is ripped from your grasp and now spinning around you and the lord. a large gloved hand grips your face forcing you to look at lord Heisenberg.

"now I cant tell if that was stupidity, or bravery little bunny but I'm guessing you dont know who I am." he speaks with amusement as he examines your face and, forces you to look at him. you stop squirming long enough to stare at the round shades perched on his nose. this being the first time you have seen the lord this close ,its usually only in passing or from the shadows as to not be noticed, but now you have to admit the stubble and scars, the cocky smile, the smell of oil, pine, smoke, and Tabaco is actually not that bad.

"No I know who you are, just really dont care cause I'm a little busy" you immediately wiggle from his grasp and start reaching for the chain around your ankles. a boisterous laughter is released from behind you and suddenly your falling about a meter, back connecting with the ground a large "oof" emanating from you. Rushing to get the chain from around you ankles it fly from your hands. jumping to your feet you face Heisenberg head held high

"oh... you do know me, so it must be stupidity, that must explain why your on my land as well" Heisenberg ponders aloud." so you must either be lost or have a death wish" he says with a chuckle

"nope not lost, just need some of the herbs here and if you live in this village and haven't runaway or offed yourself you have a death wish" you reply flatly brushing the dirt of of yourself as you stand to gather your things. "now" you say turning back to him "my dragger if you'd please" extending you hand cautiously with and expectants look.

"wow, you've got some balls on you" puffing on his cigar "you better watch that attituded bunny" you are suddenly painfully aware of the small pack of hunger Lycian circling you both "and remember who the man in control is" hand still outstretched you snap back with

"listen hear 'lord Heisenbitch' I am sorry for trespassing on you land but I need 7 different herbs and at least 5oz of each, I need them before tomorrow evening, some of them for mother Miranda, as well as a women who just gave birth in the village. Now unless you wish to explain to Miranda why her healer is missing, and her people dead due to illnesses I would like my dagger back and you and your fine fuzzy companions to kindly fuck of." you knew your words where dangerous but at this point in the evening you really didn't give a fling fuck and the shock on Heisenberg's face when he recognizes you almost made it worth it.

"Wait your Miranda's prized witch, oh man this is great, how have you lasted so long, your so small bunny" this just pissed you off more you want your dagger back but he's just so infuriating. your dont have time for this

"Fine, just keep the dagger" you say shoving past him. Growling at the Lycians blocking the path they stay there ground and growl back, only to glance behind you whimper, and slowly back away clearing the path. A chain roughly wraps around you waist spinning you around and pulling you flush against Heisenberg before returning to his trench coat pocket. blowing his smoke in your face he drawls

"wow wow wow, slow you roll peter cotton tail I ain't being stingy, I just wanna talk a little" as he says this he wraps his arm around you waist slipping your dagger back into its sheath leaving his hand to rest on the dip of your hip, the other griping your chin forcing you to look up at him

"Let. Me. Go!" you hiss out never braking your gaze of his glasses

"now what would Miranda think of this, her pet of the leash, not respecting or listening to your lord" he teases not lessening his grip at all

"I dont give a scraggly rats ass, just let me go you bastard!" you spit at him, resaving a chuckle as a reply .

"ohhh I like you bunny, you've got fight not a lot of that left hear any more. but I need something from you darling, so we are gonna take a little walk back to your place, your gonna help me, then ill help you with your little situation how does that sound there bunny?" spinning you around arm still securely on your waist, he starts to walk still puffing on his cigar, quickly you realize you have no choice in the matter. the Lycians slow start to follow you keeping there distance at about 3 meters back this continues for a wile and it might have even been pleasant having company for once on the walk, you if you ignore the hungry Lycians and the fear Heisenberg will get angry or be done with his little game. slowly the forest edge and the village come in to the distances well as a small well worn foot path leading into a thick pine forest near the base of the Benevento valley

"so bunny, which way is it" Heisenberg ask moving his arm up to rest on your shoulders using the other to jester at the path ways.

"This way" you mumble out, gesturing to the pine foot path. now moving forward on you own accord tiered of being user around like a lost child. you dont make it very far seeing as soon as you start to move away he tightens his grip

"ohh come on bunny, no need to get cold feet. your getting something good out of this too, you just chill a little there thumper" he says smirk never leaving his face.

"well it sure as hell dont feel like it, this feels more like a kidnaping only we are headed to my own dwelling" you watch as the pine trees grow thicker with every passing second drawing closer to your burrow. soon a large moon gate covered in rosemary and lavender comes into a view just beyond it several greenhouses small and large soft light emanating from a few

"Now hold up thumper if you have all of these, what were you doing traipsing around by my factory? you weren't trying to get my attention were you?" he jabs at you obviously trying to get a rise out of you.

"What I was looking for I do not grow because it is local and I had a store of some, but it a since been exhausted, lots of sick ones this season." you replied tiredly seeing as dusk has passed a wile ago and you had been called out well before day brake. now you where just too tired to deal with his shenanigans. continuing forward you approach the door and tap the center of the door with the old iron key handing from your neck three times then you insert it into the keyhole and twist it three times to the right and it slowly creeks open. rushing forwards in an attempt to put some distance between the two of you you start to tend to the fire stroking the coals and adding a few logs. while your bussing your self Heisenberg makes himself at home pulling out a chair and throwing his feet on top of the table and popping a new cigar between his lips . Turning to grab your tea pot you see this unfold waltzing over to him and slapping his feet of the table

"That is mahogany" as you say this he goes to protest " no 'lord' Heisenberg you in my domain now no feet on the table" you snatch the cigar from between his lip and toss it into the fireplace "and no smoking in the main room."

"alright, alright," he says holding his arms in the air "one you could have just put it out and handed it back thumper, and second of all watch who your talking to darlin" to this you quickly respond with

"Still dont care" he gives you grunt as a response

"third of all I still have yet to disclose the nature of my visit I need you to look at something for me" and with that he stands up his chest now centimeters from your nose he reaches for his hat and sunglasses setting them on the table, tossing his trench coat on to the chair. your face quickly turning a shade of red dark enough to rival the radishes out in garden as you realize just what he is doing. pulling of his shirt with a wince. Holding his shirt in his hands, you try not to make your gaze obvious, he slowly turns to reveal a large, deep laceration very poorly bandages and clearly in the throes of a terrible infection. you immediately push all other thoughts aside concern taking its place, you recognized this wound, you where present when he resaved it .

flashback

"you stupid man child, you know nothing you should just leave the talking to the adults like a good little boy"

"shut your dame hole you bitch"

they have been going at it for 37 minutes and counting Alcina said something Karl disagrees and so the back and forth begins about 5 minutes ago Karl brought out his hammer and been waving it out in the open. tensions have been rising and your a little worried it is about to get violent. Anggie who had been watching the argument from you lap starts to vibrate with joy sensing the approaching violence.

"ooooooooohhh its aaboutttttt tooo get goooooodddddd!!!" she sings while hoping off your lap to sit closer on donnas lap seeing as you are perched by the back wall behind Miranda. and just as you both had predicted disaster struck.

"you insolent fool." Alcina suddenly cry's, swiping her hand forward as Karl turns his back to her slashing from shoulder to hip. you immediately rush forward, only to be stopped by mother Miranda holding her arm in your path.

"ENOUGH, stop the foolishness NOW!" Miranda's voice ringing out clear through the entire hall "Heisenberg my son, stand," she demands. he slowly makes his way to his feet now facing mother Miranda "your actions have been stupid and reckless as punishment, I shall leave you with this burden to care for. maybe it will teach you how much effort it takes heal rather than destroy. and what if feels like to live with ones mistakes." you hand covers your mouth as you bite your tongue. you may not like Karl that much but he still is not as bad as they say.

end scene

"BY THE GODS, how has this not healed yet!? have you been rubbing dirt in it? I knew this was a stupid lesson. I knew I should have gone against that two faced, false goddess, pretensive ass, bitch and marched my happy ass to that factor. THAT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO, this should have been gone ages ago!!!" you shout while carefully examining the laceration. quickly you pull out the char he was previously siting on out, so he could sit on it with his back to the fire and lean on the back of the chair. grabbing Heisenberg's shoulders you gently shove him into the chair. rushing around you grab several herbs hanging from the ceiling in bundles. then over to the counter you produce a mortar and pestle along with several oils and extracts

"woooow, thumper slow down, slow down," he chides calmly garbing your shoulders, your arms still packed full of items. slowly he starts to set the items on the table. "now I didn't rub dirt in it, but there might be some oil, its not healed because I have no idea how to treat a wound this large. and what's this about Miranda being a bitch and ignoring orders?" as he says this you realized just how bad you have fucked up.

"OH MY GODS, I didn't mean a word of it lord Heisenberg I meant no disrespect please I am so sorry dont tell mother Miran-" you franticly bow keeping your eyes to the floor hoping he would ether spare you make you death quick. while he clearly doesn't like Miranda or her family he was still a part of it.

"hay hay hay thumper calm down your alright. I'm not gonna go all psycho on you, and your secret is safe with me, your not the only one with unsavory views on that bitch Miranda." your slowly look up at him in shock it is widely know that he disagree with the other lords but this is a first. you gingerly make your way over to the table and start to mix together several herbs and flowers. "and thumper just call me Karl" he says with a flirtatious grin, you blush but grinding the herbs into a powder

"only if you stop calling me thumper." slowly adding some drops of oils to the mixture making a thick green salve.

"well I gotta have something to call you bunny" he say grin stretching across his face as you blush even more now

"well my name is (Y/N) ok, now stop" you say while puffing up you cheek in a pout. rushing behind him so he can no longer see your face and you can apply the salve" this is going to sting" not give him tome to proses any thing you said you rip off the bandages and start to carefully apply the salve. a shout bubbles up in his throat the second the salve touches his shoulder

"SON OF A Bitch..." he snarls" maybe a little more warning next time y/n" as soon as he growls out your name you short circuit you hand no simply resting next to his wound "y/n... y/n" he waits a couple of seconds before trying again. "y/n!" jumping a little you come back to reality " you all good back there" Karl questions

"almost done just need to finish this up, then I will apply bandages, and all you need to do is rest for a day or two" as you Finnish saying this you reach for he bandages and gently begin to properly wrap the wound "this is how you properly wrap a wound Karl" you make sure to say first his name. "go all the way around and over and around the shoulder" slowly and carefully placing the bandages showing him the movements and positions. you move around to the front of lightly wrapping his shoulder "dont go to tight when bandaging joints, it increases mobility but not lose enough to move" as you speak solely focused on you task at hand you dont see Karl staring at your face, a look of adoration on his face which he is quick to drop once you turn to him. gently patting his shoulder "now all you need is a lot of rest and a hot meal" smiling you slowly make your way over to the fire removing the teapot and hanging a medium sized cauldron over the fire. turning kettle in hand you see Karl putting on his hat and going to pull his coat on having already put his shirt on

"well thumper its been wonderful but I have to get back to my-" you cut him off taking his coat and hanging it by the door.

"oh no you don't, you need rest and real food, and not to make any assumptions but I doubt you'll get any of those in your factory" as you say this you put the chair back in its normal position swiftly going to a small spare room on the side. grabbing a thick blanket you walk to the table, and drape it over the back of the chair. patting it flat you open your arms and jester to the chair "now please have a seat food will be done shortly" you say with a smile as he just stand there slack jawed at you attempting to boss him around. slowly he take a seat and just watches as you prepare a cup of tea for you both "hear this should help with the pain" you say handing him a large mug that still looked too small in his hand. you turn and head back to the counter and start dicing us vegetables and some fish to put the cauldron.

"thank you" he mumbles quietly watching you dance about the kitchen a soft smile on his face. "so what's your story? you obviously dont like Miranda so why stay and be her little pet healer on her beck and call." Karl jests wanting to know more about you now that he has the chance with out his stupid family there

"well a long time ago I has someone I had to look out for, they needed help I could not provide it, Miranda could. So I made a deal, help her, and ill do as wish. So I comply to keep her safe and happy, if it went for her, I would have sent that false deity to her flaming grave decades ago." you finished cutting the veggies and meat depositing it in the pot, you make your way opposite of Karl at the table and take a seat. slowly sipping your tea. "now I just tend to the villagers for Miranda and visit my belladonna"

"wait who is belladonna" he askes a look of confusion overtaking his features

"my apologies, I mean donna, before Miranda adopted her and gave her her gift she was a sad and lonely child with parents too ill to save, so after her parents passing, I watched over her and loved her as my own" you say a soft smile on your face looking around the room I was the only one she let touch Anggie, she was such a kind child asking so many questions behind closed doors and always eager to learn new skills" you reminisce the old days setting your now empty cup on the table. "but now she's grown and well, and happy, so that is all that matters" you say curtly standing and heading over the the bubbling pot of stew and giving it a stir.

"so wait your telling me you the witch who raised Benevento," Karl spouts astonishment clear in his voice. "One how are you not dead yet? Two that's why you spend so much time in that spooky ass house, and three how come you aren't an old hag you dont look a day over 25?" even in shock this man some how still manages to throw in a flirt. you give a small chuckle.

"well when I struck my deal with Miranda," you make you way over to a tall cabinet and withdraw two wooden bowls and a large ladle ." donna was just become a young adult, so she new what excepting Miranda's gift would entitle, including the prolonged life." returning to the stew and scooping a hefty serving into Karl's bowl and only filling your half way. "after her parents suicided she couldn't handle the loss another parental figure, her words not mine, she refused the treatment unless Miranda changed me as well." hanging the ladle on the wall and carefully turning back to Karl and making your way to him. "I had already had my go at life and helped as many as I could so I agreed not expecting to come out alive," you say calmly sitting down in the seat acres from Karl. "unfortunately my will was to strong so hear I am now, a fail experiment serving out my end of the deal" you give a sarcastic smile and do a little jazz hands as your story comes to a close. Karl is still for moment then burst into a deep laughter, but still alarmed at your willingness to except death.

"I'm sorry bunny I dont mean to be insensitive," he attempts to suppress his chuckles. "you are really the one that raised donna?"

"yes I am I know its a little hard to believe, but yes." you say solemnly feeling a little weird everyone who knew you too be donnas nanny have long since passed.

"no no no, there ain't nothing wrong with that darlin! In fact you did fucking awesome, out of all of us monsters she has the best manners and turned out the best." he says in a panicked tone, afraid he has said something wrong.

"Karl none of you are monsters, and your ok you didn't say anything wrong" you say quickly adding " none of you are monsters! you and the other were forced into the experiments, unlike donna and I. your only a monster when you subject an enter village to a false religion just to slaughter them for her experiments under the name of a sick false family she has not love for!" you say venom and hate for that hag dripping from each word. a stern but caring look on your face as you look rights in his eyes as you say this "you aren't a monster. you where a kid with out a choice, and now you are a man surviving and your doing amazing in your situation." you cautiously grab his hand resting in the table " you are not a monster no mater who has told you that including your self" He pulls back lightly but does not remove your hand from his., allowing you to rub his knuckles.

"but I-" he starts but you dont let him continue

"nope you cant convince me other wise, I'm the village crazy witch I am all knowing and wise." you say in a cherry tone, garbing his hand with both of yours. using one to tap out a small tune on the back of his hand. that nice deep laughter made an appearance again you have to admit its nice to hear him laugh instead of ague with everyone.

"well dame bunny, can't argue with that logic now can I " A large toothy grin takes over his face little crinkles show at the corners of his eyes. shaking his head he gives a chuckle then picks up the bowl of stew and finishing what was left in the bowl in a few gulps. setting the bowl down he asks "shit that hit the spot, can I just take you home with me and have you cook for me every night that some dame good stew" he jokes. laughing a little you finish your bowl, garbing his you stand and bring them to a bucket at the end of the sink.

"no I cant come home with you every day" rinsing the plates before setting them in the bucket you continue. "but you can come over when ever the lantern on the porch is light, if its not I am either in the village with a patient, or visiting donna or Miranda, or foraging. I am a busy witch Karl, just a warning." he chuckles

"ill make a note of that expect me often that shits good." he says pointing at the pot hanging over the small flames.

"well in that case ill put some in jars so you can take it with you when you leave tomorrow" you say off handedly while making your way over to the pot fishing the leftovers out, and putting it in two large mason jars. out of the corner of your eye you see him deflate a little when you when you mention his departure tomorrow. moving over to a wall of cupboard you store the two jars "to night you can take my bed or the cot in the guest room, though I dont know if you'll fit" you say walking over to said door and opening it reveling a small room with a vanity in the back left corner to the left of the door was a small sink and counter with a basin next to it. opposite to that was a small cabinet and in the back right corner a small wooden cot about half the side of the man now standing directly behind you in the doorway. so close, when he took a deep breath you could feel his shirt brush your, and his warm breath fans across your neck. now with bright red face you make you hastily make you way to the cabinet to the right of the door and start to grab a large quilt and a pillow or two. Karl enters the room looking around taking in the new environment and casually making his way over to the cot and taking a seat. you head over to him staring at the blanket hoping that he would not see your face

"thank you, y/n you really could've just sent my packing I really appreciate it I do" he says with a soft smile resting on his scared face, 'it suites him,' you think to your self 'he should smile more.'

"well hear you go this should be think enough it gets pretty chilly in hear and I haven't fixed the heater yet so if you need more there are some in the cabinet you say gesturing to the cabinet with your head. holding the blanket and pillow out for him to take he reaches hands grazing against yours as he takes them from your hands pulling them closer"

"thanks bunny I re-" he is abruptly cut short by a sharp wine of wood under duress followed quickly by a loud snap of the cot braking a the loud thud of Karl's ass hitting the floor. "OH FUCK" Karl was now the one looking up at you. slapping a hand over your mouth to suppress the laughter about to burst from you.

"OH by the gods, are you ok" you say still trying to hold back the onslaught of giggles offering a hand for him to take

"so this is what the weather is like down here" he says jokingly as you hoist him off the ground carful of his shoulder and back. gently slapping his chest

"I'm only a little shorter than you, ya know" you say "but in light of me needing to purchase a new cot from duke, I guess you'll be sleeping in my bed tonight." he gives you a flirty look

"dame thumper if you wanted me in your bed that bad all you had to do was ask not buries my ass first" he says with a deep chuckle.

"I am not tying to get you in my bed" you say panicked face exploding with red. "I wont even be in it with you, and secondly it wasn't that far of a drop so the only thing damage was you ego and my cot obviously. now come follow me please." you say now attempting to lead him out of the room. Karl looks at you as if he was trying to figure something but soon trailing behind you like a lost puppy. you lead him through the main room down a hallway with three doors heading to the furthest down you push open the heavy wooden door. letting Karl enter first you make your way to the bed garbing your favorite pillow and a thick blanket off the bed spread "well she's all yours" you say jokingly waving your arm over the bed as a invitation dont lay on your back or shoulder" you say making your way back to the door arms now full "sleep well." and with at you turn to leave only to be stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

"wait if I'm sleeping here and I just demolished your spare bed where will you be sleeping" he ask concern lacing his voice a he turn you around to face him

"well ill go clean up the old cot and then ill just use some spare blankets as a mattress for the night." you say with out a second thought.

"no no no, I will not let you do that you have done enough for me. I'll just go back to my factory and be out of your hair." your face scrunches up.

"you say that as if I am annoyed by you, but I can assure you, you do not annoy me. next I wont let you leave this hut you need to rest and I need to change those bandages as soon as you wake." you say no room for argument evident in your voice. "and if you have such an issue using my bed but I apologies its the only one, and I wont let you sleep on the floor with that wound." you with finality.

"then I guess well just have too share it. cues I will just jump through a window to go back home" he say with a laugh. you have no idea if he was joking or not. still, gazing up at his face the smirk remained "so" he asks "which will it be will you join me or and I gonna have to practice my long distance sprint." you sigh growing tired with every passing second your long day finally catching up too you. no longer having any energy to argue.

"fine" you huff out walking over to the bed where Karl was I like the right side" climbing in you take a body pillow from the back of the bed putting it in the middle " you better stay on your half of the bed old man" you say climbing back down from the bed and heading a dresser under a large window. you produce a pair of sleep thin pants and a large think white long sleeved shirt. "I need to change so ether steep out or just dont look." to tired to care at this point you look over your shoulder and see him turned away from you sitting on the left side of the bed. replacing your dirty clothe with fresh sleep pants and a oversized top. garbing a spare pair of large sleep pants and shirt before making your way back to the bed, flopping onto it comically ,while tossing the change of clothing on his side of the bed "hear you go, this should fit" he looks down at the articles of clothing.

"well thank you bunny," undoing his belt and changing his pant, completely ignoring the new shirt. "but uhhh I dont think that shirt is gonna work though" he says smirk evident in his voice.

"and why would that be-" you ask confusion clear on you face as you roll over to face him without thinking. face exploding in color as you freeze up, now staring at his bare chest brain loosing any train of thought.

"my eyes are up hear now bunny," he says with a deep chuckle "but please dont let me interrupt your staring. as for why I never sleep with one its confining" smirk never leaving his face, as he lays down on his half of the mattress. quickly you roll over

"I wasn't staring, I zoned out. Just toss the shirt on to the top of the dresser" he gives another chuckle but says nothing. pulling the thick comforter up to you chin due to the chill, reaching over you turn the knob on the lantern smothering the flame. "good night Karl sleep well" you say without a second thought closing your eyes slowly, reality fading out as you hear Karl

"goodnight thumper sleep well" a gentleness to his tone that sends the rest of the way to sleep.

word count: 5884

ps: please forgive my horrid grammar

#karl heisenberg #karl heisenburg x reader #resident evil #res 8 #res evil #donna beneviento #re8 angie #re8 donna #re8 karl heisenberg

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oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years

Text

April Teaser Collection!

Here is the latest peek at my stuff sitting on my pc that will hopefully be finished over the next few weeks. I hope you find something that tickles your pickle. below the cut are The Stand In, It’s A Match, Deliverance, Mans False God, Gloria Regali.

But instead of being managing to be all sneaky and close the door hiding henry in your room like a naughty teen with her boyfriend Henry was up and awake.

"Aha! Gotcha! Who said you could sneak out of bed this morning baby? I was lonely with out you~" you screamed and just about jumped out of your skin as Henry wrapped himself around you from behind dragging you back into him, nuzzling into your neck pressing an open mouthed kiss to it. Your shout of surprize had silenced both of the women's chatter making them jump, even Kal came darting back in gruffing as he leapt up the stairs heckles and tail raised and growling on high alert. Fuck.

"now why cant i get a good morning like that?" Tee giggled crossing her arms at the both of you, your mother eyed you both with a knowing grin and hummed agreeing. Henry snapped his head up and gulped. Fuck. You and henry stood still for a few seconds far to shocked at being caught with your pants down so to speak. You shifted on your feet but henry held you still hands on your hips using you to shield his nude form from your guests he hadn't known were there.

"O-oh shit- err good morning ladies!" He said turning red his voice higher than usual as he shuffled backward taking you with him. As he tried saving his modesty, he didn't take the covers with him because- well he had thought it was only you on the bus!

"I err- shit i didn't see you there... Sorry about almost flashing you both like that..." he said with an uneven tone tip toeing back into the room, still holding you at his crotch hiding the once half hard- now softening cock.

"Good girl, where's your mother? Hmm? Your not supposed to be out and about alone are you?" Henry spoke slowly digging his fingers into the dense soft fur managing to find and hold the collar below the thick fur, then he leant down scooping up the lead what was still attached to her. Kal grunted and sat on the floor leaning his weight on henry's leg. Henry looked down and patted Kal scratching his ears chuckling. Kal's eyes still wide taking in the larger dog in front of him, it was comical Kal was used to being the biggest bear... but he was a good four to five inches shorted then this magnificent grey floofer.

"Kal, you okay there bud?... year she really is big isn't she, you best behave don't want her telling you off do you?" He spoke slowly calming both pups... and gosh did Kal look like a pup compared to her. Slowly both dogs leaned towards one another sniffing the air then with a happy yip Amii began licking kal... like a pup. Henry burst out laughing it was too sweet watching Amii sniff around his bear, whilst Kal sent his human a look clearly pleading for help as this new huge female smothered him with affection. But henry wasn't falling for it, Kal was wagging his tail just as excited to make a new freind.

Honestly henry was glad, akitas were fickle. They either liked you or they didn't. He got the feeling Kal would like this gentle giant for now he was a little awe struck over being smaller then something.

"Clark? Clark come and help me- I cant reach the milk! Its at the back again!" Martha said quietly you smiled. It took a lot of coaxing but you had indeed tried what Clark had explained as 'cow juice' and had developed a taste for it. So Martha had promised you milk every day if you liked. Which you did like. A lot. Clark pressed another kiss to you and walked off towards the milk refrigerators expecting you to follow.

You made to follow but a sweet scent hit you and you stopped mid step. It was wonderful and ripe, sweet and succulent. You pivoted and followed without much thought. Your feet found there way twisting around the display of 'leafy greens' to a bright colourful isle. You salivated at the smells. There were so many intoxicating scents you didn't know what to look at first.

You pressed a hand on a small net package full of strange green fuzzy balls. Kiwi's? You read and scrunched your face up at the peculiar name. Then plucked the bag up and held it to your nose sniffing. They smelled divine, like a type of food from home. Okriin a small soury sweet treat given to children on their birthing date. You sniffed again and almost cried. It was so similar but so different sweeter and fuller in the scent. You cautiously sniffed again and closed your eyes before tentativly prodding it with your tongue wanting to see if it tasted the same.

"y/n? Y/n?!- oh god there you are? What are you doing? You almost gave me a heart attack" Clark said racing towards you his mother behind him with the cart. He slid to a stop and blinked at you. As you scrunched up your nose.

"the texture of these are... Not very nice?" you said naively moving for the fruit again sticking your tongue out once more trying to discern if it was edible like this. Clark moved quickly gasping holding your hands that had the.. Kiwi's in it.

"no no.. No we- you don't eat them like that... You peel them and eat the inside, and we don't lick things in the shop okay?" he explained plucking the fruit from you and placed them in the cart, Martha chuckled into her chest she couldn't help it, you were extremely cute.

Kal proped himself up on his side and smiled sadly nodding. He knew. He knew the state they found you in was their fault. Thats why he was so adamant to look after you now to... make amends in a way. You'd proved you could barely survive on your own. But Kal was also angry; angry that you'd been abandoned, he had thought Bruce would atleast put something in place to look after you but he hadn't. Bruce hadn't helped you, he to busy saving his own skin and trying to fight him and the new regime. But he was more angry at himself you had been alone, with no means to protect yourself or really survive. And he should have known! He should have realised you were scared, that you would stay away from the new citizen system he put in place. That you'd fear being caught and killed like many of the others.

"I know, but we have her now... its going to be better now, we are going to right the wrongs love... we can give her the best life look after her and nothing will ever hurt our little one again" his voice was strained his face in firm lines, hard and stone like. He truly was a god, carved in marble. Perfect. Diana nodded laying back curling herself around you. Kal drew a deep breath and shuffled closer winding his arms around his family, holding both his girls.

He chuckled when you grunted pouting in your sleep when he sandwiched you between Diana and himself. Trying to wriggle fee from the group hug. But once again you settled after a few moments relaxing as you were now being warmed from both sides a small smile graced your face. Kal grinned and nuzzled the back of your head pressing chaste kisses to your bed ridden hair, he felt at peace having you here with him. And he meant what he said no one will ever touch his little babygirl.

"what wrong? Whats going on?" you spoke quietly trying not to stare at the clearly sick monarch. You didn't want to see it, you didn't want to think of the implications of the illness he was clearly suffering.

"nothing gets past you does it my girl?" your father spoke jovially trying to lighten the mood but failed miserably, his chuckles dying off fairly quickly and he heaved a sigh. Your uncle broke the silence and your fathers hand slid to yours under the table and squeezed your fingers tightly trying to reassure you.

"I have summoned you here to discuss something that... Is very serious and the outcome will change the lives of many people. This is something.. I wished I could hold off but I'm afraid I cannot firefly" you bit your lip and braced yourself. This was bad news you could tell. A part of you thought for a moment of marriage, your gut churned at the thought and you felt sick all of a sudden. Where you being married off as a pawn? It was likely, it still happened even in this day and age it was just covered up with fairytale romance... Story book meetings and courtships, when in reality you were told that your to marry and that was the end of it.

"Y/n you are royalty. You were born in to a royal blood line that has ruled over this kingdom for nearly four centuries... And now it is time for you to take your place within it and do your duty" your father stated in his 'work' voice for the time being he was not your father, he was a prince. Heir to the throne and head of your family. And you were to listen and obey.

"You want to give me duties as a working royal?" you said sitting straighter only quivering slightly. You dreaded this, the publicity the duty and responsibility that you'd managed to avoid so far. But you knew one day you would have to take your place.

"yes dear. We need you. Now" your father said urgently, but there was something off. Like he was holding back, fearfull in a sense and it was not like him.

"Of course i will. Father I'm no fool I understand what my position requires of me and i will serve my country. You need only ask and I will obey. I only ask that i be given time to sort things out with the university security and such would need to be increased if they are having a working royal on campus-"

"I'm afraid its not as simple as that we... Are asking you to put your studying off" your uncle interrupted you making you frown. What? You furrowed your brow and made to shake your head but paused. It made sense... If you were to come and take on duties then the media may go wild and cause an uproar... They could cause issues on campus

"How long for?" you asked trying your hardest not to frown at your father and uncle

"Indefinitely.." the king replied holding your gaze firmly. it was then you knew this was serious, more so then anything you’d experienced before.

#oh for fic sake teaser #oh for fic sake fic #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #clark kent x you #superman x you

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lovemesomeerabordwarves · 3 years

Text

You are not fine!

Warnings: blood, injured reader, fluff Note: First time writing for Fili. Hope I did justice to the character. :3

The eagles flew through the night into the early morning. They dropped us off upon a tall cliff. Thorin was badly hurt and everyone crowded around him as Gandalf laid a hand upon his brow. As our leader opened his eyes a collective sigh sound came from the company.

I took that as a good sign and moved off a ways to sit under the trees. I could here Thorin shouting at Bilbo but at the moment I didn't care. I had problems of my own. Making sure no one was looking for me I ducked behind a large pine tree and shed my coat and shirt until the only thing that kept me from exposing my chest was my chest band. I looked down at the now dried blood that covered my torso. A deep gash ran across my right side. I prodded it tentatively which caused a flare of pain to shoot up my side and I hissed. A small amount of blood began to ooze out. I knew there was nothing Oin could do right now since all of our supplies were lost. Plus it didn't look that bad. I just needed to give it time to heal.

“(Y/N)?” I heard Fili shout.

“Damn!” I whispered as I quickly threw on my shirt and jacket. Luckily when I had been hit my jacket wasn't ruined so I could still hide the blood on my shirt. After making sure I looked as normal as I could, I moved from behind the tree to see Fili and Kili only a few feet away.

“I’m here. Just needed a minute to myself.” I said smiling at the brothers. Kili returned my smile and turned to shout at the others that they had found me. Fili, however, scowled at me before coming closer.

“You need to be careful (Y/N). We don't know this area very well, no telling what’s lurking about.”

“Don't worry Fili. I kept you all within ear shot and shouting distance. I cant be always by yours and Kilis side.”

That earned me another scowl. I’d hadn't seen Fili look this serious since he and the other dwarves showed up on Bilbo's doorstep to talk about the quest.

Bilbo had been quite put out but I had enjoyed the merriment. They brothers took me under there wing when I told them I would go in place of Bilbo. Thorin hadn't been happy about have a women join the company but Gandalf stood up for just as he had Bilbo. Granted Bilbo ended up coming none the less, but the more the merrier. Fili taught me how to wield a sword and daggers, while Kili showed me how to shoot a bow.

Thorin soon barked an order for the company to head out with Gandalf in the lead. Everyone took up the march without complaint but we stopped only a few hours later. Everyone was dead on their feet but a few of us still went out to find some food. I was too sore and tired to bag anything but Dwalin had managed to spear some large fish for dinner. As soon as the last of the fish had been consumed the fire was banked and everyone found a patch of dirt and went to sleep except for Gandalf who stayed on watch.

At some point in the night we were all awoken but howling in the distance. We didn't need telling twice to move out. Just as the sun came up Bilbo was sent to look behind to see if the warg pack could yet be seen. When he returned he told us they weren't far and before he could say more a roar like nothing we had ever heard before sounded near by. Gandalf immediately took charge and led us at a run. Soon the sound of something large began to crash behind us in the trees.

My side burned as I tried to keep up with everyone but I felt blood dripping down my side. Fili turned to look behind and saw me slowing and ran back.

“(Y/N) what’s wrong we cant stop!”

I couldn't respond. A ringing was now filling my ears and the ground swayed beneath my feet. Next thing I knew I was floating. Opening my eyes I looked up to see Fili above me and forest flying by. He had picked me up. I tried to wriggle out of his grip but he held on tighter which brought a shout of pain to my lips. Fili looked down at me with a look full of worry and picked up his pace.

We had managed to make the door of a large house in a clearing before the thing chasing us burst through the tree line. A large bear stopped long enough to roar at us again, then charged. Thorin managed to unbolt the door and everyone darted inside. The beast rammed his head through the door but the others managed to closed it anyway.

Meanwhile Fili was panting very hard and looking for a place to set me down. He found a large pile of hay and set me down. As he moved his hands from under me he looked down in shock as one of them was covered in my blood.

“(Y/N)? What happened?” Fili starred at me in shock.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine. Just need to rest.” I mumbled

Fili pushed my jacket aside and paused only a second at the site of my blood soaked shirt before lifting it revealing my wound.

“You are not fine! Look at this wound it needs to be treated! Why didn’t you say anything?” Fili was shouting he was so furious. Balin and Thorin came over as Fili yelled. Thorin took one look and called for Oin. I wasn't comfortable having everyone look at my bloody midriff and tried to get up.

“You will stay there while Oin takes care of you.” Fili growled while gently pushing me back down. Slightly terrified of such an angry Fili I complied while Oin gave orders to find things to clean, stitch, and bandage my side with. A short time later I had thirty stitches in my side and was told to not move for the rest of the night. Oin went off to sleep with the others. I sat up and looked over the company but didn't see Fili. I heard a brief rustle from the loft above and decided to see if it was the missing dwarf prince.

I climbed the ladder without much difficulty thanks to Oin wrapping me up to tightly. I peeked over the edge and saw Fili with his back against the wall staring out a small window. I crawled over to him but he refused to look at me.

“Fili? Are you okay?” I nudged him with my elbow but he ignored me. I could tell he was upset but I wasn't sure why.

I was preparing to poke him in the side so much he’d have to look at me to yell but then the sound of the door opening caught my attention. I started to crawl back to the edge to see who it was when I was pinned to the floor by a heavy weight.

“Hey wha—” I was about to protest but was shushed as Fili knelt over me. He lifted his head to look over and I felt him stiffen but then he relaxed a second later. He stopped pinning me down but flipped me over to glare at me.

“Oh so now you’ll look at me.” I hissed.

“Why cant you listen to anyone and stay put? Oin said to not move till morning!” his whispered angrily over me.

“That’s why your upset? Because I came up here?” I tried to get up but Fili pinned my arms to my side so all I could do was wiggle around.

“I’m not just upset that you refused to listen to Oin. I’m also upset that you hid an injury like that from me! You could have died! What if that bear caught you before I turned back?”

“Then I’d be bear food and one less person for you to worry about.” I snapped.

Fili’s face hardened and he leaned in close before saying, “Don't ever talk like that.” I saw his eyes dart from mine to my mouth. Before I knew it his lips were on mine, rough and full of meaning. He pulled away when I stiffened in shock.

“I-I’m sorry (Y/N)…” Fili released my arms and moved back to sit against the wall with his head in his hands. I sat up and stared at him. My heart raced and heat crept up my neck. In all the time we traveled I didn’t think Fili had feelings for me. I of course had thought him the most handsome person alive the moment I saw him. Anytime he had to adjust my grip or stance while we were training I imagined other scenarios but thought they would just stay imaginary. He was a dwarven prince what chance did I have?

I moved over to sit in front of Fili. I placed my hands on his knees and tried to get him to look at me. He just shook his head. I decided to play dirty. I took my hands from him and wrapped them around my torso and let out a small hiss of pain. He immediately looked up and reached for me. I couldn’t help but laugh. He was angry again but I had gotten him out of his sulk.

“What are you going to tease me from now on? Torture me for having feelings for you?”

“No you idiot I just needed to get you to look up.” I giggled.

Before he could respond I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He was as shocked as I had been but he quickly returned the kiss. One hand gripped my left arm as if to keep me from disappearing while the other snaked around my torso. My own hands were tangled in his golden hair. Even with his gentle touch though pain still ebbed across my side.

“Ow, that does hurt.”

“Sorry, ibine. Next time tell me when your hurt though. I don't know what I’d do if anything else happened to you.” He pressed his forehead to mine as I chuckled.

“What can I say, your stubborn ways are contagious.”

#fili x reader #fili x y/n #hobbit fanfiction

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fairycosmos · 3 years

Note

hey, i have a sister who struggles with addiction. she moved out from our parents to my place when she turned 18, so that she could have some space and that her highs and lows wouldnt affect our younger siblings that much. but shes been going through a hard time for quite long now, which causes her to treat us around her like complete shit. her behaviour led into a pretty bad argument, which led to me driving her to our parents in the middle of the night cause i couldnt mentally or physically handle the shit she was giving me anymore. after that night, she never returned to mine and told our parents to pick her stuff and move it into a new apartment that she got for herself (which locates in the same building as her friends who she uses substances with). she hasnt reached out to me at all, even though we have been around each other and i cant bare to approach her either, cause im still upset and hurt. my mom said that shes already prepared to lose her. i heard from her friends that shes told them that if she goes unconscious, theyre not allowed to call the ambulance or try to help her. i am worried sick to my stomach everytime i think about her and i feel so powerless. my parents just say that theres nothing more we can do, she goes to psychotherapy and shes under the social services but still i feel like we should do something more to help her or to stop her from destroying herself. im so sorry if this message makes you feel uncomfortable, but since ive followed you for quite awhile and i know your experiences with these things, i would appreciate if you could help me with this situation or at least try to give me some advice, how to cope with these feelings that come from loving your sister that struggles. i dont want to lose her.

hey, i am so sorry to hear this. there's a lot i could say and a lot i want to say but can't really articulate. i don't think there's any one size fits all advice for such a complex and heartbreaking situation. i guess i'll begin with what i'm sure of, and that is that your boundaries and feelings are justified. addiction literally rewires your brain and perception of the world beyond recognition, to the point where the only thing the person cares about is their vice. it's just total tunnel vision, selfishness denial and violence on top of selfishness denial and violence. being around ppl like that, especially a loved one, is beyond exhausting, it's its own special kind of hell. like screaming at a brick wall. it's totally understandable that you had to take a step back after falling victim to her erratic, manipulative and abusive behaviour. the drug use explains it but it absolutely does not excuse it. you're really brave for putting your foot down and prioritizing your own mental stability when it all got to be too much. know you never have to regret that. having said that, it's possible for two conflicting feelings to coexist and for them both to be (for lack of a better word) valid. she's your sister - of course you're worried, of course you're terrified for her. of course you love her even while feeling like you hate her, at times. it's alright to let your emotions be illogical, to just weather the storm and let them pass through you. write it down, talk to your loved ones, maybe consider speaking to a therapist or hotline over it. it's perfectly normal to need that support and talking through your circumstances may be illuminating/lead to some personal revelations regarding how you want to approach this. ultimately, you're angry because you care. after a while i was like that too, with my sister. although i tried to let her know that i was more worried than frustrated during our conversations, sometimes i still couldn't help the internal rage. all because i wanted her to wake up to reality and for her to be okay - i didn't get her thought process at all, didn't get her version of the world. and i felt so fucking powerless because she just strayed so quickly from her path, despite what she was telling me, despite her being relatively fine mere months prior. despite us being best friends and on good terms. it's a headfuck, and you don't have to know what to do, you don't have to have anything figured out. just try to focus on what you need, today.

the hardest thing to accept is the fundamental truth of the situation, and that is that you can't fix this for her. can't love her out of it, can't enable her out of it, can't fight her out of it. all you can do is be there for her emotionally while still maintaining the appropriate boundaries necessary to preserve ur own mental wellbeing. it's completely okay if you need more time - i know you said you cant bear to reach out to her at the moment, which makes total sense. but since you sent this message and i can still see that you're beyond concerned and it's only getting worse, maybe you could consider calling her or sending her a text or meeting her for coffee when you're ready. just to let her know you haven't stopped thinking of her. and that you care about her so much, that when/if she's ready to get help you will be with her every step of the way. even if shes battling addiction for the rest of her life. if she screams at you, if she breaks down, if she ignores you for what you say - fine. but at least she'll know on some level that she is not alone, and at least you'll know you did what you could with what was in your control. also about her being under social services - is there any way you could get in touch with them, maybe explain that youre still worried about her and that you think she needs a higher level of care, maybe ask them if theres anything proactive you can do in collaboration with them to maximize the help shes getting? i dont know how it works where you are, that might be a no go, but i just thought i'd mention it. i'm sorry, i know it's a disappointing answer, but i really don't realistically think there's any other. there's only so much of this that is in your hands and so far it sounds like you've done and are doing everything possible to stay sane while looking out for her. i really really hope something clicks for her and that she starts to listen to you and her loved ones soon, that she begins to approach recovery out of the genuine need to get better. but it really does have to come from within her, all you can do is encourage it. im sending you both so much love. i know more than anyone how fucking stressful it is to have to wake up to this every day, and i'm so sorry. if you need someone to talk to, my inbox will always be open. you deserve peace in your own life, too. take care x

resource one

resource two

resource three

#tw addiction #tw drugs #anon #talking

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pillage-and-lute · 3 years

Text

Thicker Than Water (Part 8)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, (here)

Ao3 link HERE

Please note, this is pretty heavy, it deals with a lot of common insecutiries for adults with ADHD and Jaskier blames himself for a lot of things, but it’s not triggering in the traditional sense. Much of this fic has been about the ways Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and other ADHD symptoms can cause self-destructive actions, this focuses on other insecurities, common blames, and then the self-isolation that can come from guilt, even unfounded guilt.

Please remember, in this fic’s world Geralt and Jaskier actually do have a loving and pretty healthy friendship, albeit with communication issues. People fight some times, these are just ways in which RSD can mess with healthy relationships.

OTHER TW: Mentioned child abuse.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yennefer and Ciri asked Jaskier to come down for supper that evening. Between lunch and dinner he’d napped, evidently passing out wasn’t the same as actual good-quality rest and his body was demanding it’s due. Evening came around, though and Yen took his elbow to help him stand.

They walked at a slow pace down the hall, Jaskier’s body not up for much more. Ciri stuck behind them, but the pace was embarassingly painstaking.

“Ciri,” Yennefer said. “This is a lot for Jaskier, and will take some time, why don’t you go see if they need help in the kitchen?”

Ciri gave one more concerned look at Jaskier, then bounded off.

Yennefer steered Jaskier to an alcove in the stone of the hallway. He was embarrassed to find himself out of breath.

“What are you going to do?” She asked him. She wasn’t asking about his lungs.

“Eat supper I suppose.”

“I mean about Geralt.”

He knew she meant Geralt, and sighed. “I don't know, Ciri says I'm angry and I am...”

“But?”

“That day on the mountain I didn’t give him space,” Jaskier said, feeling a lump grow in his throat, blocking off his already small air supply.

“I never know when to give people space, I never have, I've been working on it my whole life and I still don't understand.” His chest ached. With emotion, with pneumonia, with tiredness. With shame.

“I’ve always been different, you know?” He looked up at Yennefer. He was taller than her but she sat regally, and he was hunched over, conserving his air.

“In stories being different is usually a good thing, you get cool powers and people love you, but life isn’t like that. And being different is...it’s so much worse when you’re a kid.”

“I know,” Yennefer said. Those purple eyes...she knew. She understood, probably better than anyone. There were parts of her story that Jaskier didn’t have, wasn’t entitled to, but she understood.

“I cant do things I'm not interested in, not don’t want to, can’t. Even if I am interested, they don't always get done,” Jaskier whispered, like he was confessing to a priest, not a barely-friendly witch in a cold hallway.

“I’m nothing but a ball of loose ends, tangled up and bouncing around, running into people and making them as tangled as I am,” Jaskier said. It came out half-sobbed, which upset his breathing and he began to wheeze, then cough.

“If I’m not interested in something, if nothing lights up my mind, I get so sad and tired it’s like this horrible weight.” Jaskier kept talking, feeling the emotions fighting to get out. “Being around people helps, I can get things done, be more normal. And interesting people, oh they’re the best, of course. They keep that awful sad, tired feeling away because they’re always interesting.”

He looked down at his knees, wrapped in their battered trousers.

“But I need to be around them so much,” he whispered. “And I’m too much for anyone to want around long.”

He leaned his head against the cold stone of the alcove wall, staring blankly and watching as his field of vision blurred with tears.

“I’m dramatic,” he said.

“You’re a bard.”

Jaskier shook his head. “Dad called me a pansy, among worse things. He tried to beat it out of me. I just, I seem to feel more than other people. Happy is more happy, but sadness, fear, rejection, they’re all so much worse. I overreact and it makes me hard to deal with.”

He felt a tear roll down and get caught in the scruff on his chin. “I need people though, and I need people to like me. Crowds come and go I just needed one person to like me so I forced it to be Geralt.”

Jaskier was crying in ernest now, full tears falling and shoulders shaking, clogging up his breathing so his cries mingled painfully with coughs. Yennefer reached out and pulled at his shoulder, bringing him up from his hunched over position.

“I’m angry at him even though it was my fault,” he said, wretchedly.

“I followed him and took advantage of the fact that he doesn’t talk because he wont tell me to go away. I took advantage of his patience like that so someone could keep me around and I let myself believe that he actually wanted me around, that just one person could bear being around me. And being with him left me time to go seek out other interests, go ahead or stay behind, I never got bored and it was perfect for me and probably hell for him.”

Jaskier sniffled, looking away and studying the wall because he couldn’t bear to see the condemnation that would surely be on Yennefer’s face.

“And I fell in love with him. Which was stupid because I've been using him this entire time,” he whispered.

“I used him for music and money, then I used him to bandage my self esteem and its all my fault.”

Jaskier finally managed to look at Yennefer and saw that she was actually rolling her eyes.

“It’s not your fault, he was on a horse, you were walking, he could have left you behind anywhere.”

“He’s too kind to leave me to die on my own.”

“What about towns?” Yennefer asked. “What about the djinn?”

“The djinn was my fault.”

“The djinn was his fault,” Yennefer said, stubbornly.

“The djinn was my fault, I thought he was joking. He’d do that, you know? I’d ask him what he was doing and he’d say ‘cooking a unicorn’ or ‘hunting a gabledegook’ so I just thought he was joking again because I thought surely a djinn was only a story. Even if they weren’t there was no reason Geralt would want one. I made horrible wishes, they could have ruined lives, can you imagine?”

“I can.”

Of course she could. It had been stupid of him to say that, Yennefer knew better than anyone how a careless wish, or even a not so careless one, could turn out.

“I have to ask,” Jaskier said, since Yennefer didn’t seem in the mood to turn him into a salamander. “Did geralt wish for you to love him?”

“He wished for me to be bound to him the sex was just...adrenaline, magic, wanting another outsider, a little bit of the djinn. I won’t do it again.” She said, fervently.

“You don’t have to promise that, I have no claim to him,” Jaskier said.

“No one has claim to anyone,” Yennefer snapped. “But you love him. Anyway, I wasn’t telling you, I don’t want him. I don’t want sex with him I want his destiny, our destiny, nothing more.”

“I love him very much,” Jaskier said, after she settled from her outburst.

“Have you ever told him?”

Never, he might think he owes me something.”

“I think you think he’s more self sacrificing than he is. He wouldn't date you out of obligation, he’s not that sort of man.”

Jaskier tilted his head back against the stone. “But he feels guilty, for everything, all the time. What if he did it as an apology.”

“Geralt wouldn't do you the disservice of a pity relationship.”

“We had a pity friendship.”

“You didn't.”

“We did.”

Yennefer peered at him with those strange eyes. “You love him though.”

“I do.”

“I don’t think its a lost cause.”

“I do.”

Yennefer shifted, pulling her hair over one shoulder. “When I asked earlier, I meant what do you want to do after this? Do you even want to see Geralt?”

“Oh gods I rambled and --”

“Shut up, you needed it off your chest.”

Jaskier sighed. “I always want to see Geralt, but I don't think I should be around him. He needs more space than most people and I need less. I do want an apology, I don't want him to grovel, I don’t want him to beg for me back in his life because that's a choice I want him to make on his own. I don’t even need him to tell me through speech because I know that can be hard. He could write a letter.I just...”

“And if you got an apology?”

“I intend to apologize first. I’ll apologize, maybe he’ll apologize, and that way we can at least be friendly, if not friends. And then in the spring I’ll leave, take a different path and it won’t matter anymore.”

I won’t be able to hurt him anymore, Jaskier thought, darkly.

“Nilfgaard wants you,” Yennefer warned.

“I know,” Jaskier sighed. “I may have to fake my death or... oh!” He looked up at Yen, smiling even as he wanted to cough.

“You can wipe my memory!”

Yennefer actually recoiled.

Jaskier’s excitement had set off the coughing and he felt it tear through his throat and squeeze at his ribs until the fit eased.

“I’m not wiping your memory,” Yennefer said, severely.

“Why not? Yen, it’s the perfect solution, and Nilfgaard couldn’t get anything out of me.”

“And Geralt get’s his damned wish,” Yennefer snarled.

Jaskier looked down. “I know he didn’t mean it, he’s a good man, he wouldn’t wish anyone gone in that way, but yes, that wish would be granted and I’d never bother him again.”

“Geralt has a habit of making stupid wishes that he doesn’t actually want granted,” Yennefer snapped.

“You’re supposed to be on his side,” Jaskier said, smiling wetly. “It’s my fault, remember?”

“I don’t think even Geralt’s on Geralt’s side,” Yennefer said. “I won’t take your memories. You wouldn’t remember anything.”

Jaskier deflated. “I guess I’m as good as dead if I can’t remember songs or how to play the lute.”

Yennefer shifted uncomfortably.

“I would forget how to play, wouldn’t I?”

“Well...” she said. “No. You would remember anything you’d learn, knowledge isn’t memories, you know? You’d even know your songs, just not why you knew them or that you’d written them.”

“If you won’t do it, is there a mage who will? I’d only need to get to a city, how much do you think a spell like that would cost?”

Yennefer groaned. “No, bard, I’ll do it. If it’s what you still want, if you’re sure at the end of winter, yes, I’ll take your memories. It’s better than some quack doing it, or worse, turning you in to Nilfgaard but...I don’t like it.”

Jaskier was surprised to see her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I won’t take that choice from you,” she said, blinking hard. “But I hope it’s not the one you make.” She sniffed, she tried to make it seem disdainful but it was definitely tearful.

“Anyway,” she said. “What about Ciri? She adore’s you, if you didn’t remember her it would break her heart.”

Jaskier waved a hand. “I”m only a storyteller,” he said, wishing bitterly that it wasn’t true. “She has a whole marvelous family full of stories they can tell her.”

“Didn’t you hear her, she doesn’t feel like this is a family,” Yennefer said, sharply.

“We’ll fix that.”

“So that you can abandon her, you mean?”

Jaskier grimaced. “It’ll be safer for her. Even if I traveled with Geralt, there’s no guarantee Nilfgaard wouldn’t take me, wouldn’t read my mind and put her in danger.” He looked Yennefer right in the eyes. “I won’t let myself hurt her.”

Yennefer hung her head. “We’ll discuss it at the end of winter,” she said. “Do you still feel up to dinner?”

Jaskier thought about it. He felt lighter, in a way, unburdening himself of the guilt he’d been carrying was better, but he was exhausted, and his chest felt raw.

“I think I’d rather eat in my rooms,” he said sheepishly.

He ate dinner alone, wishing he wasn’t but he was practicing giving people space, and he felt proud of himself for it. He only had to continue it, apologize, and get through the winter.

Then he’d never remember he had problems to begin with.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They will get there. Please read the note at the top, these are all very common ADHD insecurities and relationship problems. Remember, Geralt is not the villain. He needs to apologize, and he’s trying, but the villain is the insecurity.

Tag List!

@frywen-babbles @mordoriscalling @thedarkestangel1 @kerfufflezz @samukai @charlies-dragon @live-long-and-trek-on @holymotherwolf @morte-mistrata @mewithanie @sharondnovels @stinastar @ionlylikemycat @annafortoday @its-the-quenchiest-stuff @kkiyomizu @so--many-fandoms @endless-whump @ineffable-monster-romancer @tookarma @seraphim-miryam @sweetiepieplum @nerdy-numinuos @ravenclaw-dirt

#the witcher #angst #not much comfort yet #yennefer is a very good friend #geraskier #not yet tho #ADHD! Jaskier #rejection sensitive dysphoria #Autistic! Geralt #who is not the bad guy here #insecurity and lack of communication is the bad guy #Geralt is mentioned to be occasionally nonverbal

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heyitsyn · 3 years

Text

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased,

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime,

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!!

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

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phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust · 3 years

Note

just saw your pinned post and aaa!!! please could we have #49?? mclennon ofc ;)

thank you love 💗

49. “I cant stop thinking about you”

“Id give you everything I got for a little piece a mind!” And with that, he finalised the song.

“Its...its good.” Paul said awkwardly - he’d been put into an uncomfortable position by John, hearing him sing a song that was so clearly about him. A song so distraught, a clear cry for help - and it was Paul evoking these cries as well.

“Yeah, well...” he grumbled, “its one I came up with in India, y’know.” Of course he knew, he’d known within seconds of hearing it - this was a song about their argument. The one that had taken place in India, and the one that has acted as a clear indicator that their relationship has changed; there is no longer an innocence to it, nor is there a nonchalance and ease to it either.

“Um, is it...” Paul wanted to ask if it was about him, though of course he knew it was, still it would be nice to have a little less ambiguity. Instead he opted for asking, “Are you- are you okay?”

With some sterility and a cutting edge coldness to his voice, John responded “Yeah. Never been better.”

Paul nodded at this, not reassured. After something of an awkward silence, John stated, “Ive gotta be goin’ actually - ‘m seeing someone.”

“Alright then, have a good one-like.” Paul said trying to at least finalise their conversation with some normalcy - but watching John just about to leave the room, he felt this ending just didn’t sit right - he had to enquire further, and so in a small voice he called out, “...John?”

“Yeah?”

To his own surprise, he found himself bluntly stating, “Yer not alright; can ye please talk to me?”

“I am talkin’ to ye.” He began to make his way back over to Paul, taking a seat beside him. “Ive been talking to you fer 11 bloody years now - and im still not gettin’ through to you.”

“What’ve you been tryin’ to get through to me?”

John looked away from him, he indicated the answer, but he couldn’t bear to speak the words ‘I love you’ out loud; at least not with such sincerity. He changed the subject, adding, “I cant stop thinking about you. Yer askin’ me if im alright - course im not, ive got you on me fuckin’ mind all the time.”

“I...I didnt know...” Paul trailed off here, he never was good at expressing himself so openly. “I, um, I cant stop thinking about you either.”

Spitefully, he retorted, “Yer full of shit Macca.”

“‘M bein’ honest here John - I cant stop thinking about you, cause im worried about you. Yer drinking a lot, tripping a lot - you show up at the studio and you’re angry or depressed or something or other. Im worried. I want you to be happy.”

He was met with bitter, even resentful response, “Yer not worried about me, you just dont like me bein’ an inconvenience. What if something were to come out, all over the news ‘The Beatles are all really just bastards, like every other fuckin’ human being on the planet’.”

“I dont give a shit about that-“

“Just admit it Paul, you care more about yer reputation then you do about me.”

“Thats not true! And you’re not being fair here either. Im sorry about what happened in India, but-“

“For fucks sake, will ye fuck off with India!” John was always somebody so quick to anger, most people found him impossible to get too close to on the basis that his moods were simply so inconsistent; but Paul had always been able to keep up with him. “Its fuckin’ over now, alright. I gave you a proposition, and you said you you don’t want me-“

“I do want you - I want you so bad, alright? And I dont want to let you go completely, but why cant we keep this casual y’know. If we took it to the level you’re suggesting, we’d both be ruined.” He paused, taking a small breath, and continued, “Im sorry that I cant love you like you want me too, but I want kids someday, and you know, yer right - I don’t want the whole world to hate me, im a coward and you know that. Im sorry, John - but could we not just keep ‘us’ casual?”

John couldn’t bare to shout at him again, because he didn’t want to shout anymore. He been screaming at the world his whole life, and it had never made a difference; no one had ever listened to him. He might as well have just been screaming at brick walls. And so in an agonised voice, he echoed with complete honesty, “If we keep this casual, if I cant have you all the time y’know, if I have to share you with a thousand other birds-like - im gonna lose me fucking mind, Paul. Im going mad already. And I cant stand it any longer; I want you, and only you.”

Paul sighed in response - neither party could give the other exactly what they wanted, and yet they wanted just the same thing.

***

Sorry im taking so long with posting these requests!! I have an essay to write for school today, but after that ive literally got NO homework (whoooooo) so ill be writing up the other fic requests I have in my inbox this week (and maybe uploading another chapter to my longer fic on AO3 called ‘Some People Never Know’)

Keep sending requests in if you want <3

#fanfic #my work #asks #angst #mclennon #mclennon fanfic

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amphii-writes · 3 years

Text

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki��s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared"

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now"

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh?

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!!#haikyuu crack #haikyuu boys #haikyuu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyu x reader

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roboraindrop · 3 years

Text

Another Miles and Dick comforting me story... 💕

"I dont know what to do," They sobbed tearfully, grabbing fistfuls of colorful hair as if somehow it could hold anchor them together, "I hate this so much. I hate myself so much."

The prosecuting attorney sat silently on the floor beside the doctor, mulling over their words. Finally, his reply came.

"Why? Because you can't change your past? Because you can't see your future? What have you done so wrong that you find this to be your only solution?" His eyes stayed locked on the pill bottles before them, until he chanced a look at them. The sight of their tear stained face put a strain on his composure. He had to remain calm and logical, like he'd trained himself to be for so long.

"Just look at me, Miles." They ran their hands down their face, dragging nails that were too short to be harmful down their face. Still, they left red marks in their wake. "My life is a mess. I cause pain to everyone I try to help. I cant stop thinking about people who arent in my life anymore, people who hurt me badly. I'm broken. I'm selfish and angry and afraid all the time. Do I look like someone who was meant to exist?"

"You look like someone in need of a friend." He answered honestly, very cautiously putting a hand on their shoulder. The contact caused them to tense for a moment and he quickly retracted his hand. "You know you have people who care about you. You can come to us."

"And be even more of a burden? Make you feel drained and useless when you cant help me? Nobody deserves that. Nobody deserves to put up with me and how difficult I can be, least of all you guys. You've done so much for me, and I dont deserve any of it." The bitterness of the words leaving their mouth made them feel sick, and the tears only choked them further.

Miles, however, still remained calm, standing up from his position on the office floor. "We don't 'put up' with you because it's easy. We stand by your side because you're worth it to us. I want you to think about that, doctor, the next time your mind fools you into feeling like a burden. You are not a burden."

They looked up at him slowly, truly a mess in his shadow. "I dont understand," They whispered brokenly, "Why? Why are you so nice to me?"

The prosecutor simply offered a reassuring smile, "Because regardless of what your mental illness tries to tell you, Rain, you have value. You deserve to be here." He reached out once again, offering them a hand up from the floor, which they cautiously took. "You dont have to go through this alone. It's not fun, going through that pain and confusion by yourself. Self-created uncertainty can be your biggest enemy. Do not be afraid to come to us."

Slowly, the doctor nodded, wiping away some tears from their eyes. The storm inside them had calmed somewhat, and they were grateful that he had intervened when he did. "Thank you, Miles." Their voice was barely above a whisper.

He nodded in response, offering his handkerchief to them. "Let's get you cleaned up. I've already called for your husband."

The sound of footsteps rushing into the office drowned out any residual thoughts the doctor had as they sat on the counter now. Miles had since cleaned up the discarded medicine bottles, and the two had sat and talked until the door finally burst open.

"I'm here!" The detective was a frantic mess, eyes instantly locking on his spouse as he rushed forward to them. Immediately he began checking them over for signs of injury. When he found none save for the scratch marks down their face, he breathed a sigh of relief. Tenderly, he held their face in his hands and kissed their forehead. "Are you hurt, Baby Bear? Wh-what happened? I'm sorry, I came as quick as I could!"

Rain felt their eyes fill with tears once again as a stab of guilt was driven through their heart. How could they hurt him like this? They pushed aside all other thoughts and clung to their husband, shaking their head. They didnt answer his questions, but rather just let their head rest on his chest as he muttered to himself over and over again, "Thank God you're okay".

"You don't have to tell me anything," He whispered into their hair, "Just let me hold you, pal... I'll always be here to hold you. Always, I promise!"

After a few tearful moments, the silence was broken by the prosecutor. "I suggest we all head home. It has been more than a long day for all of us."

Dick nodded before pulling back just a bit to tilt Rain's chin up with his fingers. The fear that he almost lost this beautiful person who he adored with all of his heart caused his chest to ache. "Can I take you home? You could use some rest, right?"

Any fight Rain had left in them had been zapped, and they simply nodded, not quite feeling deserving of such a kind and loving partner. "Y-yeah... I'd like that a lot."

"That's good, because I like you a lot. I love you," He reassured them, kissing their forehead yet again before turned back to Miles. He kept an arm securely around their shoulders as he spoke. "Thank you for calling me, Sir. And for, well, taking care of them until I got here. I owe you one, big time!"

Miles shook his head, "Detective, I simply acted out of love for my friend. You owe me nothing."

Dick smiled, "Aw, sir..." suddenly, his smile grew into something more. "I know what would make Rain really feel better!" The doctor and prosecutor both quirked an eyebrow in nearly the same manner.

"What might that be?"

"Group hug!" He stated, pulling both his spouse and his superior in for a hug. For once, the prosecutor didnt struggle out of it, but rather embraced the embrace. "We love you, Rain," Dick said softly, squeezing both parties tightly, "And don't you go forgetting it, pal!"

#rain writes things #implied self harm tw #sh tw #self harm tw #if anybody needs anything else tagged pls let me know!

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faroutharry · 4 years

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You feel, I feel

Hey guys, this is my first Harry writing, sorry if it is really shit, feel free to send me ideas for more writing, im very excited to get into this.

length: 2.7k

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Harry’s new album was coming out in less than a week and he was going crazy thinking about how his fans were going to react. “But baby what if everyone hates it?” Harry pouts at me from his spot on the bed, his eyes still puffy and his voice groggy from just waking up. “They aren’t gonna hate it H, they will love it because it comes from you and your heart” I give him a big smile through the mirror across the room. “Hmmmmp” He flops back onto our bed with a big grunt. “Maybe I would be more confident if you listened it to first…” Harry quietly says as he pokes one eye over the duvet. I spin around quickly looking at him as if he has two heads. “What?” He’s using those little puppy dog eyes and staring up at me with hope. “You really want me to listen to it?”

I can’t even begin to explain how tense I feel about his question, On one hand of course I want to listen to it, because he’s my loving boyfriend and he had already told me that there were certain songs that I had influenced. But on the other hand he had also stressed to me that certain songs have been influenced by “other people”. The second he said “other people” like that I knew exactly what he meant, and as heart breaking as it is to me that he has obviously had previous partners, I knew this day would be coming and as selfish as I am, I have been trying to put off listening to the album in fear that I would ruin it for him. I know I’m nothing compared to his pervious relationships and that’s something I need to work through and definitely not something he needs to worry about. Another reason for me avoiding the album is well, I just love him so much that even hearing him talk about his previous pains gives me pain, I can’t even begin to explain how sad it makes me to think that someone has broken his heart like that. Before we started dating we were amazingly close friends, and I cant even tell how many times I walked into his place to hear his strangled cries from shower or his angry yelling in the kitchen. I just want to cuddle him in a big blanket and shelter him from the worry and hurt.

“Of course I want you to listen to it, your opinion is one of the only ones I truly care about baby” He slowly rises from the bed and walks his way over to me, wrapping his hands around my waist and staring at me in the mirror. I try my absolute best to seem as excited as I can be, because I am excited, well for most of the songs. “I would be honoured to hear your album H” I wriggle around in his arms and kiss his lips briefly before hiding my face in his neck. I can hear his heart start beating faster as he says “Really? Thank you so much petal, I can go and get my laptop and show you now if you’re free?” With a pleading look on his face how could I possibly say no? “Yeah sounds good bub”. He runs off without another word into his office.

I try to prepare myself by focusing on my breathing and counting to 10 slowly. By the time I’m done Harry is racing back into the room with his laptop secured in his arms. He jumps onto the bed and pats the spot next to him. I carefully walk back over to my side of the bed and hesitantly get back under the covers, if I’m going to do this I’m gonna be as comfy as possible on the outside, because my insides are going to be a wreck. “You ready baby?” H looks over at me with his childlike grin and I shake my head yes “Just don’t interrupt though, I wanna hear it the whole way through”. As the intro to Golden starts I breathe in quietly and silently pray it’s not about someone else. Harry stares at me intently as I try not to focus on him right now. I close my eyes and lie down to try to distract him from my anxieties. As Golden ends and Watermelon Sugar starts I start to calm down and juts enjoy his heavenly voice as I know the next 3 songs are ones I have already heard and, from what I think I know, they aren’t based on any ex’s of his. But then Cherry starts…

This is what I was worried about. As soon as I hear her voice I know I’m screwed. My heart is going crazy in my chest and I struggle to keep my tears to myself. I slowly look over to Harry and see that he is staring up at the ceiling and I am grateful he’s not looking at me right now, cause I know he would stop the music and ask me what is wrong. So I suck it up and try to listen to the song over my rapid heartbeat. Hearing him say he misses certain things about his ex is never easy and I swallow down my insecurities and try to focus on the guitars or backing vocals, so I don’t have to listen to the words. Just when I think the gut wrenching song is over, I let out a small sigh of relief. But then her voice fills my ears again, her gorgeous accent and girly laugh flow through me like an alarm, only I can’t wake up from this nightmare because it’s happening in real life.

I look to the computer screen as I now see Harry has also closed his eyes next to me, and see the next song if Falling. If the song title is anything to go by, I think I’m in for a sad time. Harry’s phenomenal vocals distract me long enough to not really listen to the words, but I get the gist and it makes me sink further into my miserable state. I can hear Harry slightly sniffling and so I take that as an okay to silently cry myself. I get through the rest of the songs relatively easy, my heart gets a break during Sunflower Vol.6 and Treat People With Kindness, and right when I think it’s over, Fine Line comes on.

As I’m listening I slowly start to piece things together and realise that, hopefully, this one is about us. Our relationship had a rough start with mixed communication and missed opportunities, but I very clearly remember rocking him in my arms as his drunken tears covered my shoulder, and I repeated the words “We’ll be alright” until he fell asleep in my arms on his kitchen floor. I can’t help the tears flowing down my face anymore and Harry finally notices as I feel his arms pull me onto his chest and he kisses my forehead. As the song fades out I sniffle back my tears and turn to shove my arms around him in a giant bear hug. I push all my feelings aside and look him dead in the eyes as I say the one sentence I know he really wants to hear. “I am so proud of you H”

The next week Harry was super busy leading up to the release of Fine Line and, as I promised him, everyone loved it. His fans were going crazy about it and about a certain song as well, clearly I was not the only one shocked to hear her voice on Cherry. The fans quickly figured out what it translated to in English and though it was a pretty meaningless conversation it still kind of hurt that Harry kept it.

Being the loving supportive girlfriend that I was obviously I played the album around the house, mostly when Harry wasn’t around so that I could skip a few songs to save me the heart ache. But a certain night, when Harry wasn’t due home till late, I was washing the dishes whilst singing to Lights Up and I didn’t hear Harry sneak in the front door. He stood by the doorframe behind me so I couldn’t see the smug look on his face as he watches me sing and dance slightly to his song. When I heard that the song was ending I spoke up. “Alexa, skip 2 songs”. I am a little grateful that I didn’t realise Harry was there cause the look on his face would have shattered me. He slowly turns back to the door with a dejected look on his face. He re opens the front door and shuts it louder in hopes that I will hear it. I turn around with a smile on my face and call out to him. “Hey baby, I’m in the kitchen”. He walks into my line of vision and I can see he looks upset. “You okay H? Bad day?” He shrugs slightly at my question and he quietly states, “Yeah it was alright, I’ll just be in the shower”. His usual loving self is nowhere to be seen and I start to worry. He should be happy, his album is amazing and all his fans love it. So I hurried to dry my hands and race up the stairs after him.

I can hear the shower already running so I open the bathroom door quietly and stick my head in. “H baby are you alright?” I can hear him whimper gently and I waste no time in opening the shower curtain and hopping into the shower fully clothed to hold him. When I do I see he didn’t manage to get his clothes off either and it makes me seriously start to panic because Harry was always the stable one holding me usually. He cries are like daggers to my heart as I plead with him to tell me what’s wrong. “H are you alright? Are you hurt? What’s happened?” He just sobs louder and can’t even get his words out. So I just hold him tightly and slowly try to get him out of his clothes while he cries in my arms. Once I finally get both our clothes off I quickly reached down to plug the bathtub so we can have a bath, because all the crying and water is making it hard for H to breathe.

Once the tub is full, I slowly move Harry down into the water, situating him in from of me so I can wrap him in a giant bear hug. After a while his crying subsides and I ask him again quietly “Harry you wanna talk about it now?” My quiet voice startles him and he slowly lets out a big sigh as he whispers, “I knew this would happen” His voice sounds so broken I just want to take all his pain away. “Baby what are you talking about? What happened?” He gently turns around in my arms so he is facing me. “Cherry” he huffs dejectedly, my breath catches in my throat and I look at him confused. “I know I should of warned you about her being on the song and I swear I was going to I just didn’t know what to say and I know how awful it must have been to hear me sing about her and then hear her at the end and I even…” His rambling is making me confused and he’s starting to speak faster and I can barely understand him towards the end. “H” I try to cut in on his outburst but he can’t even focus on me as I see him start to crumble again. “Harry… Harry!!!” I grab ahold of his gesturing hands and get him to look at me. “It’s fine baby, it was a shock but it’s fine I promise you, it’s a great song”. He looks at me like he knows I’m lying and says, “You don’t mean that” I go to open my mouth to rebut him but I can’t get any words out. “I heard you skip my songs when you were in the kitchen before…” The look on his face makes me hate myself; I quickly shake my head as I feel tears start to escape from my eyes. “Baby I only skip those songs because it makes my heart hurt to feel you sing with such emotion and pain. I physically can’t listen to you sing about your heartbreak because it breaks mine right back. I can’t even explain to you how mad and upset it makes me that she ever made you feel that way and I don’t ever want you, or me for that matter, to ever feel that way again because my heart can’t take it.” He slowly looks up from the bubbles in the bath to meet my tear filled eyes. “I just love you so much H that I don’t want to ever hear or see you in pain, I swear I think it’s a great song, almost too good, because it makes me feel so emotional” Before I can continue Harry cuts me off with a kiss so deep I cant even think straight. He slowly leans back and pulls me on top of him so im straddling his hips. His hands move around my waist as I grab hold of his neck. I can feel all our love in this kiss and even though both of our tears and some snot is mixed in, it’s the best kiss we have ever shared.

As I pull away, I look into Harry’s eyes and I see his smile start to come back as he kisses my forehead before I place my head onto his chest. And for that moment we just sit there in a comfortable silence and bask in out love. After a while I slowly pull myself up out of bath and with my pruned fingers I grab ahold of Harry and help him out of the tub too. We both dry off and get each other into our pyjamas. As we both get in bed we lie facing each other and I give him a small nose kiss as I say “ H, I so sorry I didn’t tell you about your song, I didn’t wanna upset you about it because its only my opinion, not every ones” Harry pulls me into his chest as he rests his head on top of mine. “I know baby it’s okay, I just love you so much that I couldn’t stand you hating my songs, I know it sounds stupid but I just adore you and your opinion is so important to me, and I know I should of told you about her but I knew it would make you upset and I promised myself I would never do that” I can feel his tears falling onto my head and I lift mine up to look at him. “I just can’t live without you petal and I couldn’t stand to see you mad at me, I’m so sorry” I kiss his tears away and then plant one on his lips before I say “I love you too much H, you could never say or do anything that would make me want to leave, and I know how pathetic that sounds but I just think you’re my soul mate and I couldn’t live without you either baby” His eyes spew more tears, this time of happiness and his grin spreads to his cute little dimples. “Just incase you were wondering Adore You and Sunflower are about you, about how happy you make me and how you make me feel.” I smile up at him with a shocked look on my face; a cheeky grin spreads across my face as I giggle to him “What? You mean Watermelon Sugar isn’t about me?” Hearing his infectious laugh warms my heart and he starts tickling my sides. “Of course its about you petal, im addicted to your taste you know that” And with that he starts sucking on my neck making me laugh as his prickly bread tickles me. I may never be able to go back in time and un-break Harry’s heart, but I can always ensure it doesn’t happen again.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS!!! LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH, IF YOU COULD PLEASE SHARE THIS OR LIKE IT, IT WOULD MEAN ALOT TO ME!!!! Don’t forget to send me ideas pleaseeeeee!! :)

#harry styles imagines #Harry Styles #harry styles writing #harry styles series #harry styles story #one direction #one direction imagines #one direction stories #fine line #imagines #niall horan imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #harry edward styles #love #songs #watermelon sugar #cherry #falling

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factual-fantasy · 4 years

Text

Got 19 asks, thanks ya’ll! :}

The ask itself aside for a moment, If you told him that, it would make him really upset. He would 100% believe that you’re just messing with him and making fun of him.

He truly believes that he is unlovable because of his appearance, and that he cannot form any new relationships because of it. He feels that the only friends he will ever have are the Wreckers that knew him before he became disfigured and somehow aren’t disgusted by him now. Brown Suburban, being the only one he thinks..

He feels that partly why Brown Suburban is even still friends with him is that his vision isn’t great and he cant quite see just how ugly Bash has become. Which isn’t true, but he cant help thinking this way.

Despite actually becoming friends with the rest of team prime.. he can just.. he can just feel all the optics staring at him. He knows he’s a disaster and is ashamed. He feels like the rest of the team is only pretending to be friends with him as a form of pity.

Now, to the ask itself. I don’t think that’s all that odd. I built Bash Buggy to feel like a real being. So someone having a crush on him, jokingly or not means I did a good job. :}

Also, just an fyi.. every single character of mine besides Suburban, Red Van and Miata are single. ;}

Ah its alright, things just suck sometimes.

My new job has been helping a lot actually. I finally feel like I’m useful, so that’s a nice feeling. My job is confusing and it embarrasses me when I cant figure out what to do, but that feeling of being worth something drowns them out thankfully.

No I don’t believe you have, why don’t you tell me about it? :}

Oh don’t worry, Suburban will cover that. ;}

I think it would be best to just.. leave Honda alone for now, and let her calm down on her own. <:/

I’m so glad you liked the memes. I always just assumed no one wanted to see them, so it makes me happy to know that at least some people like them.

And I’m glad I made you feel better! You did the same for me. Getting asks always makes me feel better. <:}

And thank you for all the compliments!! I’m so flattered! (*ﾉ∀`*)

Go for it. I wish you luck. 👍

Its been great honestly. If feels really great to feel like I have a purpose now. Something I do finally matters enough to be paid for it. The job is confusing and will take a lot of time to learn and memorize. But honestly that’s drown out by the feeling that I’m finally worth something.

A while back, Suburban got a strange patch of a few little cracks on his front windshield caused by driving though some branches. It looked somewhat like this. 👇

Suburban is now in the hands of a relative that isn’t.. the most pleasant to be around to put it lightly. She has a history of being a real crank pot and just being a jerk to the others a lot of the time. Lets call her SD. (Suburban’s Driver)

I was out on the farm with SD, VD, (Vega’s Driver) and some others. Suburban was parked in front of the shop just hanging out by himself, so I climbed up on his hood to sit there with him and chill because I was bored.

Eventually I climbed up in his roof and sat criss cross on him. The Vega was parked some feet away which was where WD was. WD (White Trucks driver) was over by Vega and was leaning/sitting on the Vega’s hood and we were just chatting.

Then, from across the farm, SD starts crabbing at me to get off of Suburban. She didn’t say anything else. No reason why to get off, she just said to get off.

She’s always been a real crab to me. She knows Suburban is my favorite car so I just assumed that she was being a crank again and hogging the family Suburban. She only said to get off, not why, just to get off.

I thought that was unfair. So I turned around to VD, (Vega’s Driver) and asked if I could stay up there. I told him that SD was crabbing at me to get off and he thought the same thing. He’s like, “Yeah you can stay up there, don’t worry about SD. Just stay towards the edge of the roof to your keep weight off the middle.” So I was like “cool.” and stayed up there on top of Suburban and hung out and talked to WD some more.

A little while later we were going to leave. I hop off of Suburban, and then me, WD and VD hop in Vega and drive home. SD finishes up what she was doing and climbs in Suburban to follow us home.

When we get home, SD’s real angry and says, “Come here!” and points at Suburban’s windshield. Suburban's cracks had expanded and now look something like this.

Me sitting on Suburban's roof had put enough pressure on his windshield to make his cracks worse. She got real mad at me for not listening to her but VD backed me up and said that he allowed me to stay up there.

If she hadn’t been a jerk to me so much through out my life, or at least had told me that sitting up there would hurt Suburban, I would have respected her and immediately hoped off. But she’s always been that way and she didn't tell me it would hurt him. How was I supposed to know that was going to happen? I had completely forgotten about the cracks and had no idea that Suburban couldn’t handle my weight.

And VD, the car guru of this family, said it was okay. He hadn’t thought about it too and just assumed, like I did, that she was being a crank pot again.

So, all of these things put together and summed up.. I ignored her demand to get off of Suburban and me sitting up there extended his cracks. Basically, I hurt him. Now that I have a job I plan to try to save up the money to replace his front cracked window, and his shattered back window as an apology..

Deep down. I feel like this plan is going to be more of an apology to Suburban than to her really. At least Suburban only hurt me once.

Only one. She’s way more of a softie than she lets on.

You could give her a high five and she’d smile. You could smile at her and she’d smile back, like, it really doesn’t take much.

She’s so gentle at her core, and it honestly isn’t hard to make it show. :}

As for the real life cars, Green Truck is repaired and is back on the road actually. His steering column has been successfully replaced and now my Volvo is sitting in his parking spot.

Green Truck actually picked me up from work two days as a matter of fact. It was pretty funny! I walked out thinking “Okay, look for Green Truck.” I look straight ahead and at the end of the row of cars sat a gigantic rusty green truck that poked out above the rest of the cars XD. He’s a big boy that’s for sure.

Honda actually is broken down and in a shop last I heard.. hopefully she gets out soon. <:/

As for the characters, Green Trucks weak leg has been repaired and he can now be sent out on missions as a reliable soldier. This means that Red Van no longer has a confined-to-the-base-buddy unfortunately.. but at least Green Truck is feeling better. Mentally and physically.

Honda has been painting a lot more. Which is a.. good thing..? I mean, its her way of coping, but she’s been getting lost in the ink lately..

Daww you’re welcome. Just returning the favor! I’m sure you’ve sent me a virtual hug or two at some point. :}

😊🤗💕

Transformers: I... think it started a long time ago? Over the span of many years, every few months I would watch one of the Bayverse movies at random just because. I really liked the movies and sometime ago I was like “Okay. I love these movies and really want to know the story.”

So I rented all the movies and over the span of about maybe 2 weeks I watched every single Bayverse movie in order, also the Bumblebee movie. After that I wanted to watch one of the Transformers shows.

I picked Transformers: Prime because it was the only show that had an art style that I liked.. And now I’m here. I’m not done with the show yet. Drawing all of our cars as Transformers has always been an idea I’ve had. Officially getting onto the fandom was the little push I needed to make them a reality.

Gravity Falls: Sometime a long time ago after the show was completed, I stumbled into the fandom. I ended up really liking Stanford to the point I wanted to watch the show to learn more about him. So I did.

Pirates: Probably this disaster child, 👇

Hooo man is this an unreasonably controversial subject. My thoughts on the virus COMPLETELY ASIDE, lets take a look at how the not real members of team prime would react.

I think they would all react the same way honestly. They’d be pretty freaked out and worried. To them, they hear that there’s some virus going around the entire planet, that’s some pretty scary stuff. But its not like they can do anything about it to be honest.. So they would just worry, ask the humans every now and again if its gotten any better and just.. kind’a wait it out with them.

They would feel a little bad to think this way, but they have much more pressing matters to worry about. They would be upset to hear that humans all around the world are sick and stressed.. but so are they. What can they really do? <:/

Assuming that its FNAF 1 and everyone can actually play..

Suburban would be super nervous but determined to finish the game. After getting jump scared once he’d go,

Miata and Jeepy would probably be the only ones who actually enjoy the game, would beat it, and would want to play it again later.

Escort probably wouldn’t play at all. What's he trying to do? Give himself a second heart attack?? But if he had to.. he’d play for a bit, but would dip after the first jump scare.

Brown Suburban would play the game stone faced and only raise his eyebrows when he got jump scared. He would most likely beat the game. Also, his favorite character is Freddy Fazbear because for some reason the bear reminds him of himself.

U.M.Dragster would jump into it without fear, but would freak out as he kept getting jump scared. He’s too stubborn to quit, so he would probably keep trying and eventually win.

A.T.Dragster wouldn’t like playing it probably, but she is just as stubborn as her brother and would keep going until she won.

Green Truck wouldn’t be able to beat the game and would get jump scared a lot. But at least he’s a great sport and would have fun doing it.

Vega: Y E E T THE COMPUTER

Red Van would want to yeet the computer but is too gentle so she’d just freak out a lot.

White Truck would be scared the whole time but he’d give it his best shot. If he was determined enough he might just beat it, but probably not.

I feel like Beluga and Honda would be terrified and not be able to get past night 2. But hey, at least they both gave it their best shot right?

Ranger would probably shoot the computer after being jump scared.

Volvo would glitch slap the computer off the table. Scaring a medic is a big no no.

Bash Buggy couldn’t play because he cant see the screen. Buuuuuut, if he could see the screen.. he’d love the game and probably be the best at it. He would play it many times over again and would master the game pretty quickly.

Uhm.. I believe not, sorry. <:{

In Escort’s story, I have discussed three ships.

The first ship was the one he was traveling on with Red Van and Suburban.

The second ship was the one he was tortured on after being kidnapped from the first ship. This ship was supposed to be full of my Decepticon OCs. I.e, Reaper, Blue Truck, Zippy, etc. No real Decepticons were supposed to be on it so.. no Bonecrusher. <:/

Then the third ship is the one that rescued him. It was an Autobot cargo ship that had more of my OCs on it. I.e Brown Suburban, Bash Buggy, Honda, the Dragsters etc.

So... no he wasn’t on any of Escorts ships.. <:/

Oh, so he’s friendly? Well then yeah they’d like a hug!

I just saw the clip of him trying to kill Optimus and assumed he wouldn’t be too friendly. .

And sorry for not remembering him! <:{ Its been a long time since I watched the Bayverse movies and I never heard his name before... Not gonna lie though, his alt mode is pretty friggin cool.

Like, just L O O K at it! Noice. 👌

I don’t know if this is what you need to hear, but do it. I don’t care if the drawing is “bad” or “ugly”. Its fanart of my characters, which shows me that you love and appreciate them.

If you want to draw fanart but are afraid of being made fun of, then you don’t have to draw anything. But if you do, know that I will love and gush over what ever you make me. No matter how “bad” it is. :} ♡

Escorts Ducky is named “Escorts Ducky”. :}

And in case you were wondering, Suburban's Ducky is named “Suburban’s Ducky.” :}

#my response #transformer ocs

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bionic-penis · 3 years

Text

Here it is! Before we get into it I'd just like to say that I sent this all in discord and so i dont use the most academic language and i also had to cut out some bits where I was speaking/replying to friends :)

Okay so maybe Yang and Blake are just good friends, I can see that, but the storyline and all their major character events are so intertwined that it wouldnt make sense not to make them a couple

Spoilers for literally everything

But in my defense its been seven years

Anyway Yang and Blake's stories dont start getting seriously interconnected until around volume 3, but we do see them being closer to eachother than the rest of team rwby (save for Yang and Ruby but they're sisters so it doesnt count)

When Blake is stressed out over the White Fang in Volume 2, it takes Yang to snap her out of it

Also a lot of people have mentioned this but I'm gonna say it again for those who havent heard it but colours and weapons matter in rwby. They're a key element in the show

ahem

Colours play a big part in the design and storytelling aspect and rwby and its no coincidence that Yang eyes are purple and Blakes are yellow, which are eachothers like signature colours outside of Blakes black

But even more than that is weapons

As we learn from Ruby in the first Volume, a lot of students make their own weapons and, as it is constantly reiterated, weapons are an extension of the self in RWBY. They're not just a tool to be tossed around

In the show we see little instances of people interacting with and using other peoples weapons. There's that one scene where Ruby uses one of Penny's swords to defend Pyrrah, but that was out of necessity. however, over and over again we see Yang interacting with Blake's weapon, Gambol Shroud

As someones mentioned before, an entire moveset of theirs is dependent on it

So it's clear that these two characters are incredibly close

Moving on from that point, Id like to analyze the incidents thst occur in volume 3 and following events that further Yang and Blakes connection

In volume 3 after Yang "breaks" Mercurys leg due to Emeralds illusion, she sits in the dorm room surrounded by her teammates, yet the scene singles out Yang and Blake. When Yang asked if they (her team) believed her, Ruby and Weiss are ready to say yes, but Blake hesitates. Yang and Blake then share a moment where Blake explains that shes trusted people before who turned out to be cruel. She asks Yang to look her in the eyes and tell her that she (Yang) is telling the truth. Yang does so and Blake believes her this level of affirmation from one another is so unlike the rest of Team RWBY and even Team JNPR

Ofc in the dorm scene the person Blake is talking about is Adam, her abusive and possessive ex. Obviously your relationship with an abusive person effects any and all interactions/relationships, regardless of their extent, but I think it bears mentioning

Continuing on in the events of volume 3 when Beacon is being attacked and Blake is confronted by Adam, he has her pinned down and says something along the lines of "I am going to destroy everything that you love". Unfortunately this is when Yang happens to stumble into the scene. Horror is prominent on Blakes face. Yang sees Adam over Blake and yells at him before charging forward, which is when Adam cuts her arm off. It's a very emotional scene imo. Blake then uses her semblance to get her and Yang to safety

So let's analyze this

Adam specifically singled Yang out

Ofc yang was the only one there at the time but Adam didnt say "starting with your little teammates" he said "starting with her". Ofc this could just be me cherrypicking but I think that word choice has meaning

Regardless, this is an intense moment for Yang and Blake that really welds their stories together, romantic or not

In volume 4 Yang and Blake take a break from one another-- Jk but theyre separated. After the events at Beacon, and especially after what happened to Yang, Blake runs. And we get to see both women dealing with this and trying to come to terms with it. Yang is bitter. She's angry that Blake, specifically, left her. And Blake feels like she had to run away to keep everyone, specifically Yang, safe

In Volume 5 we dont get much interaction at all between Yang and Blake aside from the same feelings represented in Volume 4, but these are put on the back burner for Blakes White Fang arc

However these feelings take a forward play in Yangs mind and she even voices these feelings to Weiss and Ruby

I take a deep breath

Volume 6, Blake and Yang are together again but tensions are high. They have to learn how to be together again. When Blake and Yang finally have alone time in the shed, Blake expresses how she won't leave, which comforts Yang. However, Blake continues on to say how she will protect Yang to which Yang gets mad and the moment is ruined.

Despite this, Yang and Blake are still going strong and trying to make things work by being there and supporting each other

Yang and Blake's arc for Volume 6 reaches its peak in the fight against Adam. In this fight we see both women fighting the actual source of their trauma. One thing id like to note about this fight is that Blake starts it alone but is joined by Yang, who tells her to catch her breath. This fight is the first major fight Blake and Yang have fought together in a long time. And its amazing. During the fight, Adam screams at Yang in anger and jealousy, asking "WHAT DOES SHE SEE IN YOU?" And saying that she (Blake) cant protect Yang to which Blake replies "I'm not protecting her. And she's not protecting me." MIRRORING the conversation in the shed

the fight ends with Yang and Blake stabbing Adam through with Gambol Shroud, killing him

Now theres some little things id like to point out with this fight, aside from the amazing chemistry between Blake and Yang and the awesome choreography

Its during this fight that we learn about Adams semblance (magic power basically), which is that any hit he absorbs with his sword, he can return with greater force. This is a corruption of Yang's semblance, where any hit she takes herself she can return with greater force

Now why do I think this is significant? Because rwby is all about symbolism. I think Adam's semblance was specifically chosen to mirror Yangs. Adam doesnt have to deal with pain, he just deflects it, which is how his relationship with Blake plays out. She tries to let him off easy, she tells him to leave her alone, but he just can't take the hint, just like he can't take a hit. However, Yang does take the hits. Yang takes them all and it makes her stronger. She empathizes with Blake and works with her. Adam doesnt have to deal with the pain his actions cause because he doesnt care. This reflects Yangs extremely empathetic personality. Yang knows what consequences her actions can have. She can take the pain

Another thing id like to point out is Adam's behaviour during the fight. He lashes out as Yang for getting in between Blake and him, blaming her for his flaws. He targets her just like in Volume 3. I think this was done purposefully

Another thing is Yang runs Bumblebee off the cliff to help Blake! Her bike! I think this is important bc yang loved her bike. It was part of her brand for the longest time. Perhaps running it off the cliff in the fight vs Adam is a nod to growing by letting things go? Idk I just feel like its an important beat

In Volume 7 we see Yang and Blake working together more regularly again with even a few flustered glances (maybe). Marrow even mentions that they never pair up with anyone else to which they respond with a cool fight scene this feels like the extent of their interaction since Volume 7 focuses more on ruby

Volume 8 isnt finished but there is one line that I think is important which is when Yang asked Jaune if "she'll think bad of me if we fail?" To which Jaune responds "Ruby's your sister" and Yang says "yeah... Ruby..." LIKE EXCUSE ME?

[I take some time to riff with my friends and partner before continuing]

ANOTHER THING

Adam BREAKS Gambol Shroud during their fight, mirroring how Yang, once again, works with Blake and Gambol Shroud. This is yet another example of Adam being violent and abusive towards Blake where Yang is sympathetic and kind. Theyre set up to be narrative opposites

Even though both Adam and Yang are both hot heads, utilize a similar semblance, and both have a deep connection with Blake, they are not the same bc Yang trusts and appreciates Blake while Adam does not

Also Adam and Yang both share the same sentiment of "Blake left me" but whereas Adam lashes out at Blake, Yang is mostly frustrated. Unlike Yang, Adam never attempts to work it out with Blake, which is where the two differ greatly. Yang is willing to listen whilst Adam is not

TLDR: uh give me Bmblb content right now Roosterteeth or I will suck the marrow from ur bones

#rambles #rwby tag #rwby #bmblb #YES IM PUTTING IT IN THE MAIN TAGS I DESERVE IT #also i wrote this like a few episodes or so into v8 so 🤧

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that-sarcastic-slytherin · 4 years

Text

Help Me Forget

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader x Tony Stark

- - -

The streets were busy and lively as you pushed your way through, desperate to fight the crowds and return to the safety of your home.

It had been a relatively normal day, a good day, up until you had stumbled across one little happening.

Up until you had seen them.

As you walked briskly on the darkened pavement, you tried frantically to rid your mind of the troubling thought, but no matter how hard you tried, the images kept flooding right back.

Your eyes filled with tears as you recalled the unfortunate incident.

You had gone out on a food run for the group, it was a usual occurrence and it just so happened to be your turn. You had turned up at the restaurant to pick up your order, when you saw something that made you freeze in your tracks.

Sitting on a table not too far away, was Steve. Much to your shock, he was not alone. He was sitting across from a unfamiliar woman, looking very cosy. Too cosy.

When you had first seen him, you thought you had imagined it. Perhaps, you had mistook a stranger for the Captain. No. You soon realised that you had seen right.

The sight had shocked you so much, that you turned around and speedily left the restaurant. The food long forgotten.

Returning back to the present moment, as you made your way back home, you had more time to process what had happened, but it only made it worse.

You and Steve had a history, to say the least. You had joined the Avengers not long before the attack on Ultron. The former solider was kind and gentle to you, two things that you had never been very familiar with, given your harsh background. You had found comfort in his warm personality, and you soon became good friends. Shortly after, friendship had blossomed into something more, and the two of you were known around the tower, as the 'power couple,' of the group. You were inseparable, and highly protective of each other. You were in love. Plain and simple.

However, your loving relationship came crashing down when you had got badly injured in an assignment. It was risky to begin with, but Fury had needed all of the team. You had been fighting off a gang of radical soldiers with Natasha, when the Hulk had a huge break out, he had lost control and the team needed Natasha to get to him, quick. Subsequently, Steve made the call for Natasha to go to Banner and go through their lullaby.

What he didn't know, was that you were left alone with a very large group of bloodthirsty lunatics.

You had given the best you could, but there had been too many for you to fight off. By the time Natasha had warned Steve that you were on your own, it was too late.

Steve and Tony arrived to see you on the floor, unconscious, with blood pouring out from gaping wounds. They had rushed you back to the jet and straight to the hospital at S.H.I.E.L.D., where you underwent intense treatment, but had also slipped into a coma.

For weeks Steve sat with you, begging you to wake up. The image of how he had found you haunted him deeply, he knew he would never be able to forget what he did. When you finally woke up, you didn't remember much about the attack, which turned out to be a blessing.

However, you also woke up to a very broken man.

Steve was left traumatised after the event. No matter how hard you or any other of the avengers tried, he could not and would not accept that he was not responsible to what had happened to you. He blamed himself entirely. He could not live with the fact that he had caused you any sort of pain of injury. He could not bear the guilt and shame.

As an unfortunate result, Steve had made the painful decision to distance himself from you. He had told you that he could not be with you anymore, that you deserved better than him, that you needed someone who could always protect you.

Needless to say, you had not taken it very well. At all. You thought he was being too hard on himself, to the point where it was ridiculous. He was being infuriatingly stubborn, and you told him as much, but he would not listen. He had made up his mind. He hated himself for putting you in danger, and it was too difficult for him to be around you, knowing that truth.

The two of you had been separated for a little over six months now. You thought that you had finally come to a place where you could deal with it better. It was hard and painful at times, but you had tried your best to come to a place of acceptance, knowing that he was not going to change his mind.

However, seeing him, the man that you had loved, the man who had detached himself from you, seeing him with another woman...and looking so-so happy...it killed you. It hurt you in ways that you didn’t expect. The pain that you felt in your heart, reminded you just how much you still loved him.

You were also angry. Very angry.

You couldn’t believe that he had the audacity to do that to you, to simply find someone else and move on...casting you aside.

As you marched back into the tower, you had one single bitter thought in mind; ‘if he can move on so quickly, then so can I!’

The elevator doors rolled back when you reached the main floor. You took a deep breath then strolled into the allotment, very much aware of the multiple pairs of eyes upon you.

“Hey, Y/N,” greeted Clint from his seat on the sofa, but you ignored him, causing him and Natasha to exchange a concerned glance.

Piertro, who was over by the bar, noticed your empty hands and frowned. “Where is the food?”

“Didn’t get it.” Was all you replied, as you continued to stalk through the floor, passing by all your perplexed friends.

Piertro pouted sadly. “Aw, but I’m hungry.”

Wanda rolled her eyes at her brother. “You’re always hungry.”

“What? I have a really fast metabolism.”

Bruce couldn’t help but pipe up at the scientific inconsistency. “Actaully, that has nothing to do with how your appetite works...”

You left the room as if you had never even heard them, your mind bubbling with too many things.

Noticing the hard glare that you were wearing as you walked away, Clint asked the others, “what was that all about?”

You walked up the stairs to your own floor, but didn’t go into your room. No. Instead, you stopped right outside a black, shiny door, and quickly knocked on it. The door opened and Tony stared back at you in momentary confusion, before registering that it was you.

He quickly fixed a charming smirk onto his handsome face. “Hi, sweetheart.”

You didn’t reply but gazed at him with semi-guarded emotions. He saw the pain in your eyes that you were half-halfheartedly trying to hide, and immediately sobered.

“Whats wrong, Y/N?”

You shook your head, not being able to say anything aloud just yet. “Can I come in?” You asked.

Tony answered your question by moving back and gesturing for you to enter, his concern increasing. Wordlessly, you went in and sat down on the large bed, waiting as he joined you.

You just sat there for a few moments, gathering your thoughts. Tony waited patiently, knowing that something had definitely upset you.

Finally, you managed to summon the courage to speak the words out loud.

“I saw Steve...with another woman...”

Your words were left to hang in the air, as Tony tried to process what you said. He looked at you worriedly, but was sure that you had to be mistaken.

“Are you positive it was Cap?”

“Absolutely. I saw them together at the restaurant when I went to get the food.”

Tony couldn’t quite believe it. It didn’t sound like the Cap he knew. “Maybe it wasn’t what you thought, maybe they’re just friends. Or he could have saved her from a burning building, its Cap, that’s kind of his thing. He can’t resist being the hero.”

You didn't laugh at the jesting in his voice, instead you merely looked at him tiredly. "I know what I saw, Tony. Steve is never that comfortable with someone he's just met, not like he was with her. There was familiarity between them, and not just the friendly kind."

Tony was finding it hard to comprehend how Cap, Cap of all people, could be on a date with another girl. A girl that wasn't you...it didn't make sense, and yet, there was no mistaking the striking betrayal that lay in your pretty eyes.

He reached out and rested his arm across your shoulders, drawing you into his side in an attempt to offer you some kind of comfort. He didn't know what he could say to make you feel better, if there was anything at all. The break up had been pretty rough on you, and to learn that the man who caused it had now done this...it made Tony's jaw clench.

He would punch Cap in his shiny, patriotic face the next time he saw him.

You lay your head on Tony's chest and wrapped your arms around his waist, breathing in his pleasant aroma of aftershave and whisky. As you sat there together, with him gently rubbing your back, an idea formed in your bedraggled mind. An idea that may have seemed incredibly unwise, but one that brought you a twisted sensation of solace and satisfaction.

You lifted your head and angled it towards him, gazing at him with wide eyes. "Tony, if I ask you to do something for me, will you do it?"

He smiled softly. "Anything for you, sweetheart."

You bit your lip as you removed your hands from his waist and brought them up to his chest, clutching his shirt tightly.

“I need you."

Tony stared back at you in bewilderment, certain that he had misheard, because you couldn't possibly have said what he thought you had.

“Sorry, what?"

"I...need you," you repeated, judging his reaction carefully.

He was worried you had said that. Under normal circumstances, he would have been only to happy to oblige your request, however, these were not normal circumstances. You were in a highly emotional state and that changed everything.

“You’re clearly not thinking straight.”

“Maybe not,” you agreed. “But so what? I always think things through too much lately and I’m sick of it. Maybe, just one time, I want to do something not so right.

“I cant, Y/N. I can’t.”

Tony shot up from the bed and ran a hand through his hair, glancing at you with obvious temptation.

“Why not?” You countered, standing up too and going over to him. “Because Steve wouldn't like it? Well, he doesn’t seem to care how I feel right now, so why should I care about him? You saw me, Tony, I was a wreck after he ended things. I kept hoping that he would change his mind, but he never did! Now-now he goes off and finds someone else because it suddenly suits him! Without giving me a second thought!”

Anger, betrayal and anguish laced your voice heavily, making Tony’s wall break down one-by-one. He hated seeing you upset. He wanted to be there for you. You had always been there for him.

You sighed deeply, your eyes silently pleading with him as you wrapped your hand in his.

“Please, Tony. I need to forget. Help me forget.”

No more words were uttered.

Pushing away his final thoughts of conflict, Tony promptly captured your lips in his in a passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around you and backing you over to the bed.

As you lay down, he hovered over you, his eyes conveying the question he needed to be sure of. You nodded hastily in reply, giving him his answer, and he joined your lips again.

The rest of the night was spent in a whirlwind of emotions. Yielding to passions and succumbing to temptations that you knew deep down, you would come to regret. For that moment, you blocked out the rest of the world, as you focused on only you and him.

The following morning, you awoke early in Tony's embrace, and instantly felt irritation creep up at yourself for letting things go so far.

There was no taking it back now.

As quietly as you could, you detached yourself from his arms and left his room, clothed only in one of his AC/DC shirts.

Since it was so early, you assumed that no one else would be up yet, so you went down to the kitchen, intending to make yourself a cup of coffee.However, you stopped in your tracks when you saw that you weren't alone.

Wanda was sat at the breakfast bar...with Steve.

You went to turn around and leave before they saw you, but you found that it was too late, for Wanda called, "good morning, Y/N."

You sighed in frustration but turned back, plastering on a false smile. "Morning."

Upon hearing your name, Steve swivelled around on his stool to look at you, his heart clenching at the sight of you. He couldn't believe how you managed to be so beautiful all the time. It was still so painful for him to have to keep you at a distance, but he had to do it. He couldn't risk you getting hurt again. It was in your best interests.

“Y/N," he greeted with a small smile.

"Rogers."

Steve bit back a wince at your curtness. It felt so strange to hear you be so formal with him. He knew that something was amiss, you hadn't called him that since you first joined the team, and even then it hadn't lasted more than a couple of days.

Wanda handed you a mug of coffee but her eyes scanned your appearance curiously, until it clicked.

“Is that Tony's shirt?"

That made Steve draw his attention to it too, scrutinising it with narrowed eyes.

You glanced down at the oversized garment, hurrying for an explanation. "Yes, I borrowed it a while ago and forgot to give it back, I just threw something on to come and get a drink."

"That's one of Stark's favourite shirts," observed Steve with a deep frown. "It's strange that he doesn't mind you keeping it."

You took a sip of your coffee, trying to stop the panic from rising. "Well, he's a strange guy."

Wanda accepted that as a reasonable response and decide to change the subject, though Steve was still pondering it, he could always tell when you were lying.

"Steve was just telling me about this dinner he went to last night," explained Wanda, unaware that the topic was a sensitive one for you.

"Oh, was he?" You voiced, sarcasm lacing your tone as you sent a small glare his way.

Wanda took that as a prompt to carry on. "Yeah, he met this woman on this old war website, and found out that she was related to-"

"I'll take it from here," Steve interrupted, not knowing how you would react to the information. "I found out that she was a distant relative of Peggy. She wanted to meet me to see if I could tell her anything about her great-aunt, and I felt obliged to."

Your thoughts were screaming at you as you stared at him, not moving.

Steve mistook your silence for anger or hurt. Peggy was always a difficult subject to broach between the two of you. He had managed to move on from his first love by finding you, his true love, but you had always questioned whether he had completely let her go.

He stood up and walked towards you, his expression wary. "Y/N, I only went for the woman's sake. I didn't think it was right to leave her with unanswered questions, to leave her wondering. There wasn't anything more to it than that. I swear. My history with Peggy is just that. History.”

You didn't have time to reply or fully register what this new information meant, because Tony came strutting in, shirtless, and looking immensely pleased with himself.

“Morning, everyone." He went over to the counter and picked up the piece of toast that Wanda had made for herself, and took a bite out of it. He took notice of the soldier and tried to contain his anger at him for hurting you, so he settled for irritating him.

Tony threw you a wink as he walked back over to go to his room again. On the way out, he said cheekily, "thanks for last night, Y/N."

Your pulse quickened as you looked at the gaping Wanda in front of you, but you were more concerned by the look of utter pain and shock on Steve's face.

He swallowed thickly, his mind filling with every negative thought.

“You...and...Stark..."

He whispered, willing his voice not to crack. He could feel his heart breaking that very moment.

“I can't believe you would do that..."

Steve's eyes were full of pain, the same pain that you had felt the previous night. He knew he had to leave quickly, before his emotions overcame him.

He gave you one last, broken look, then stalked out of the kitchen, leaving you to watch after him helplessly.

You had messed up. You had messed up badly.

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