#and like shutting down people who are trying to make excuses why they're failing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

howdoesagrapewrites · 10 months

Note

If your still taking request, it’s it okay if you can do yandere poly pavitr and gayatri x reader who used to get bullied alot(if you want to add it) and doesn’t mind their yandere tendencies nor doesn’t question it since this is the first time someone loved them cause they were always asked out as a joke and on a date, to the point that they thought no one would ever loved them(+if when yan pavitr and yan gayatri asked reader out, reader thought it was a joke and also thought they hated them cause when reader accidentally catch yan pavitr and yan gayatri staring at them, reader thought they were judging them so they were very nervous cause they thought they were gonna go through the bad treatment again)

𝙁𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙧 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚

Cw: poly!reader x lovesick!Pavitr Prabhakar x lovesick!Gayatri Singh, toxicity, normalization of abusive behaviors, socially outcasted reader, angst, Pav and Gayatri are not that bad before they start dating but reader is an unreliable narrator

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, once again, hoping the class would be over soon. You don't particularly dislike the subject, they're just very nervous by the staring. You transferred from your previous highschool due to the bullying two months ago, and despite your best efforts to avoid attracting any attention, you failed.

For the most part, people ignore you, no one's mean to you, and that's enough, but you shut down any attempt at socialization when you first arrived, dismissed all the cheery individuals who came to you in hopes of getting to know the new student, they complimented your hair, and the way the uniform looked on you, but you simply thanked them politely and left quickly, the memories of the fake smiles and cruel laughs were still fresh in your mind, thinking all those words were nothing but mockery.

Looking back, some of them seemed sincere, you regret not giving them a chance, maybe you wouldn't be spending the next recess alone if you did. You cut that line of thought, the irreparable truth dawn upon you, no matter how many chances you give, how many times you trust people, you don't seem to be important enough to anyone, always left behind or ridiculed, it seems to be a fact, a condition, something about yourself, that won't disappear, no matter where you are. So you know the staring is ill intentioned.

You wonder how it must feel to thrive in the spotlight, to feel "like a million dollars" when people state at you, knowing they watch in awe, admiration, something that clearly isn't your case. Why would these two people be staring at you for any other purpose than to make fun of you? They're popular, and beautiful, they have everyone fooled thinking they're nice, but you know better, you've seen this scenario play out many times, the guy is probably a jerk, no matter how nice he looks, and the girl probably makes so many empty compliments to people she doesn't care about. You know, you've seen what people like these are capable of, and you fear what they may have in store for you.

When the bell rings, you take your things and go to the schoolyard to spend recess, tables and hang out spots get filled with friend groups from many classes, all around your age.

You sit quietly in a mildly isolated spot and sit on your phone, scroll mindlessly trough instagram posts.

You feel a presence approaching, you straighten your spine like you've been caught red-handed, you try and emulate normality, like someone just walking towards you is a mundane part of your daily routine, so your eyes go back to your phone, and you try to relax your stiff muscles with encouraging words like "it's okay", "maybe they want to ask about the class", but your made up possible excuses grow useless as the two people that were staring at you, take a seat on the wooden bench next to you, one in each side. They say a few words before sitting, asking if the seats are taken and other questions that seem more rhetorical than anything.

They introduce themselves and try to strike conversation, the most awkward ten minutes of your life, as your answers shift from shy, to nervous, to fake friendliness to defensive and rude one-liners.

Sometimes they look into eachother's eyes, and you can feel that silent electricity in the form of secret messages and expression that due to societal consensus, can carry an entire conversation with just looks. You fear that. You don't posses the skills needed to realize this exchange, this telepathy.

And these conversations are the worst part, not content with invading your space and depriving you of a normal anxiety-free recess before the next period, they nonchalantly badmouth (or bad-eye?) you in your own face. And yes, you're sure it's bad, otherwise, they have no reason to hide it behind knowing smiles and glances, you're not stupid, you recognize they're making fun of you, but you don't want to stand up and leave, and maybe annoy or anger them enough to start being mean. What you have learned in the savagely cruel jungle of highschool socialization, there's the cats and there's the dogs, the dogs are nice to everyone but their victims, and launch to attack you as soon as they see you, they perceive certain things about others to be a threat to their precious social pyramid, so they act to protect it. Then there's the cats, you suspect that these two might be cats, cats are aware of their power within the other minionized working bees, (the ones that do not get any benefits from the stupidity of the social hierarchy, yet prefer to preserve it so they don't end up at the bottom of it) and don't want to attack or get their hands dirty, they enjoy watching bullied kids squirm in discomfort when they are "nice" only to amuse themselves with the anxiety and fear that their victim show, like a cat playing with an animal that's already agonizing and could be finished with a single strike, but they don't want to finish it, they want to see.

For weeks they toy with you this way, seeming infinitely entertained by your fidgeting and stammering, even getting close or throwing an arm over your shoulder just to see your reaction. You hate it, you hate them, you hate when they pretend to listen to you, or get you things to earn your trust, when they smile at you and offer to take you out with a fondness that seems to genuine you almost want to say yes. You hate how you had to stop bringing your sketchbook to school because it was filled with drawings of them, you hate the empty compliments and how you let your heart be fooled just for a little bit before going back to reality. You let yourself lift your feet off the ground just a bit, fly just a bit, thinking that you won't get hurt from that distance, but you become addicted. It doesn't matter if they're big or small highs, you crave their attention and thank heavens above that you don't really have to do anything, they come to you, you ignore that they're doing it to get a good laugh, because for a short moment that night after school, you look at yourself in the mirror while washing your teeth, and you let yourself think that maybe Gayatri was right, and your hair does look better out of your face.

But the bomb finally had to drop, the apple had to fall, the black cloud had to rain, the natural course of things had to be resumed, and they asked you out, not as a friend, like romantically asking you out.

"We wanted to do this more romantic, maybe at sunset or bring flowers, but you never go out after school with us, so this was kind of our only chance" Pavitr states with a lopsided smile that makes the little wrinkles and folds close to his eyes all the more visible, all the more beautiful.

You're trapped in this situation once again, it's a joke, but you have to proceed with caution, rejecting them can cause their pride to be hurt and that could backfire for you, accepting them is off the table, as you don't want to be the laughingstock more than you have already been in their presence, and calling out their bluff could have the same results as your first option, in other circumstances you just feign ignorance and they get too bored by how "dumb and dense" you are, leaving you alone, but this is a confession, this is way too straightforward to do that, so you decide to just buy time until you know what to do.

"I- uhm, this is really sudden and- I think I need to think about it, also I have super strict parents so that's that, and, uhm, I'll have an answer soon"

You hear their disappointed okay's and reassurances before leaving and heading to your house, the bus ride is torture. You knew this day would come, and you still let yourself be comfortable with their existence around you, you honestly would've preferred they were your friends instead, hiding feelings is much easier to deal with than being played this way.

You look at your reflection in the glass, and try to comprehend what is it about your humiliation that makes it so attractive, and what about your personality that makes it so unwanted. What's the point in these sick games people play on you and many others? What do you gain? You spend all that time trying to make someone trust you just to laugh at them behind their back? Everytime you had a friend, you felt like defending them with your life, and even knowing this was all a lie, you catched feelings for Pavitr and Gayatri, so why is it that they're so insensitive? They counted with you saying yes and they'd break your heart afterwards, how can they not feel bad? You continue to spiral.

When you came back to school, they didn't approach you for some time, you figure they accepted defeat and moved on to whatever other hobbies they had. But they still acknowledge you, they still smile at you, and you smile back. You think you finally decoded the secret messages you've seen your whole life. "Are you alright?", "I forgot my book", "it's cold outside" none of these things touch the subject that's keeping you three apart, but you love it too much to make it stop.

You start noticing how much your gloomy days lightened up since Gayatri and Pavitr came into your personal space, you notice how where once was a pillow to keep you from hitting yourself too hard, now there's the hard concrete beneath you, how you're self deprecating mental ramblings aren't stopped by a golden retriever like energy forcing you out the trance, how there's no one to tell you you should make your uniform more form fitting because you have cute shoulders. You notice that for all you tend to distrust and internally badmouth others, the worst company you've had so far, is yourself. You say honesty is the best policy and with that excuse you absolutely wreck yourself and ruin every nice thing you've ever had, you don't allow yourself to buy nice clothes because "it's expensive and you're ugly anyway", you never gave anyone a chance to get to know you in fear they'd bully you, rejecting everyone that came close. You should've waved back to that classmate that one time, you should've said yes to all those times Gayatri and Pav invited you to hang out, you should've actually listened to them talking instead of labeling everyone but you as untrustworthy and shallow. You, Y/N, have always been your personal and number one bully, when you thought you learned to toughen up and be more intelligent instead of naive, the only thing you learned was to replicate the behaviors of the ones hurting you. And even though you still don't believe those two actually want to date you, you are now aware of how pointless and cruel it had been to treat yourself and others the way you did. And now you miss them, now you wish you could go back to your first day here.

You didn't come back to them, and basically you ghosted them, not even looking them in the eye out of shame, you don't want to get hurt, but now you give them the benefit of the doubt, and it's horrible, all those things you thought, all those times you ditched them, you did it thinking it was just survival, that you were dealing with a couple of bored mean kids who latched onto you to mock you, but now your heart breaks thinking of all the genuine smiles you dismissed as a performance, and that the image you painted in your mind, where you were the foolishly in love victim of the heartless villains, could've been more like two people in search of true connection being unappreciated and dumped by someone too insecure and scared to even see them as human beings.

So when they come to you, when they apologize for making things awkward and just beg to spend time with you again, you feel like some sort of cold dictator.

"I shouldn't do this, but, why did you liked me?"

"Why shouldn't we? You're beautiful, and interesting, even though you tend to catch yourself mid-sentence and stop talking, it makes me so happy to see you explaining and ranting about things you like, and how you- sorry, this must be making you uncomfortable" Gayatri had leaned towards you, but after saying the last part, she straighted her spine in a movement all too similar to yours, you didn't like seeing her get away from you

"We're sorry we misinterpreted things, Y/N, but we'd still like to be your friends, not as a consolation prize, but I just really enjoyed spending time with you, and Gayatri did too" Pavitr also controlled his body language, he was usually so touchy and enthusiastic, but now he stands keeping his hands to himself, stiff like an english royal guard.

"I didn't want to hurt you... I realized that, well, I never really treated you with the respect you deserved, for the longest time I thought you were just going to, uhm, it doesn't matter, I'm sorry"

"You can tell us" Pavitr said, his presence eased you

"I thought you were asking me out as a joke, I thought that you were near me to... Laugh"

You expected them to be offended, to call you names and take back their apology, retrieve any sympathy they may have harbored for you, you accused them of something so ill intentioned when they hust wanted to be with you. But they just look at you with sadness, Pavitr sort of reaches for a hug, but stops himself, you notice this, and get close so he can wrap his arms around you, you tremble. Gaya joins, and you feel overwhelmed by the comfort and acceptance, your eyes let out a few tears.

Time passes and your relationship blossoms, you learn a lot of new things about relationships, for example, you learn more about communicating with glances, now you know exactly what they mean.

You know exactly what looks mean, "stop talking", "I don't like them", "don't go away". It seems kind of perfect, sometimes you feel like you're so happy and lucky you'll explode, so you cry, and they comfort you, it makes you feel heard, seen. You are also there to comfort them when they say love is too overwhelming, that they don't understand what else to do with all the love stored for their partners. Kissing so hard it feels like punching, hugging so tight that ribs make a cracking sound and break, all that intensity only makes you feel worthy, makes you feel loved like you've never been.

You had a tendency to compare human behavior to animals, and you keep doing it, because it makes sense, humans in its more raw form, are animals, so it's not surprising that feelings are so intense that they block out humanity, that loving is an animal desire. A love so pure that you can call it violent it's not something you see as wrong, as out-of-place, because that's the love you know, and it's the most perfect relationship you have ever seen.

You have never gotten into a fight, if someone doesn't trust a friend of yours, you simply cut them off, they'd do the same for you, and truth is that you don't have much desire to socialize either.

You never fight, you never yell, and you have two people who will always be on your side, that would jump off a cliff if asked, people who love you so much that they'll defend you from yourself, if you ever feel you owe an apology, they say you don't, in their eyes, you do no wrong, and you trust their judgement simply because you're the same.

You hope that one day you can love as intensely, because that's what they deserve from you.

#atsv x reader #pavitr x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #gayatri singh #gayatri x reader #gayatri singh x reader #yandere pavitr #yandere spiderverse #across the spiderverse x reader

100 notes · View notes

thedivineflowers · 1 year

Text

Was gud👾👾👾

So like it was a tie for the poll thingy and I felt like doing the middle schooler mc before overblot thingy so yeah 🤸

Let's go!!!

No one had thought that you could overblot at such a young age. Let alone overblotting when you have no magic! The previous overblots and magic being used around you formed inside your body and gave you your own magic that you didn't know you had until the day you overbloted. You had woken up feeling worse than usual and.notnfeeling like doing anything. Of course Grim woke you up and took notice of how you were pale and had bags under your eyes. The first thing that irritated you was that You were getting ready for the day and felt frustrated that you couldn't brush your hair. You cut the piece of knotted hair off and put your hair up before trying to go on with your day. The second thing was going to Mr. Crewels class. You had failed at test and someone has snatched your paper and announced it to the whole class "WOAH! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU GET THIS KIND OF GRADE MAN? I mean like I can't even be that dumb!" Before you could do anything Ace and Deuce defended you "shut the hell up and mind your own business! They're just a kid and they're not even from here! Don't expect them to know everything bastard!" The third thing that irritated you was Coach Vargas' class. They were to go on brooms and some of the class had mocked you "haha! You can't even ride a broom!" "Bet they wish they were us! Too bad!" You were already tired of them when they just started. "Shut the hell up and leave me alone!" "Ohh, is the nobody sad?~" "I said shut up!" You had swiped your hand to the boys direction and immediately the broom was cut into pieces and the student was dragged away, ripped parts of his clothing in the process. Jack came up to you noticing how you had used magic for the first time. But that aside you seemed extremely irritated. "Hey! Leave them alone!" He picked you up and excused the both of you so you could cool off.

As you sat down in the empty cafeteria jack asked you about the magic "Hey, back over there in the field... Did you know how to use magic?" "No... I didn't know I had magic until now. I'm sorry. I was just so frustrated and-" jack immediately stopped you from saying anything else as he gave you a snack. " Did you eat anything today?" "No. You know I don't eat breakfast." He sighed and went up to the ghost staff to get some food for you and lunch had started.

" you better eat alright? Eat until your full and we'll call it a day." You pushed the food away from you as you voices your complaints. "I'm not hungry and my tummy feels weird." Before Jack could say anything people started walking in and chatted. Jack made you take a couple bites and it turned out the weird feeling was turned into hunger. Surprisingly, your friends didn't sit with you as usual and it was just you and Jack. You were chomping down on your food when a group composed of people from different dorms went up to your table. "Hey, I heard from my friends here that you didn't use very kind words. How about you tell me why?" You took one last bite of your food then you spoke "they didn't use very kind words either and humiliated me. I simply displayed the same aggression they did. You got a problem with that?" "Yeah. You're gonna have to pay." The Diasomnia student grabbed a carton of milk and poured it on you. Jack defended you to the best of his abilities when other students pulled him back so it was just you and the student. A big circle was formed around the both of you and the student shoved the table aside. "Why can't you leave me alone? I'm just trying to get through the day. Why do you want to make it harder for me?!" "Because a puny little twerp like you needs to know their place." He started aiming spells at you when you got sick of it. "Just leave me alone!" Right after you yelled at him the student was dragged into a wall where he was knocked out. You looked around to see who did it when everyone was looking at you. You took a look at your hands. A gemstone that you had never noticed was nearly covered in blot. Malleus has seemed to finally arrived after he was informed that you had used magic. "Y/n." When you heard his voice fear had filled you as your eyes widened and you refused to look at him. Several pairs of hands had grabbed your arm and dragged you to a different area as the others that you knew followed along. You found yourself in a empty classroom as you were sat down at a desk as everyone gathered around you. "What was that." Malleus asked in a stern voice "I'm sorry. I don't know how to control it. I'm sorry I hurt someone from your dorm." "Why are you so frustrated?" Leona asked "..." "Y/n we need to know why you're acting like this." Vil had said as you snapped "I don't know alright?! Maybe because I've been picked on all day and I couldn't defend myself because I WOULD BE BLAMED" "I'm tired alright! I'm tired of getting picked on almost everyday and getting in trouble for defending myself! I'm tired of people paying attention to ME! And looking for things to pick on me for! I just want everyone to leave me alone for just one day! To just shut up and don't say shit!-" flames of different colors erupted around you, everyone moved away and had their magical pens out and ready. Different parts of the room were being torn up by your magic as you screamed from the pressure being put on your from the magic.

You fell into overblot.

DAYUM

Mf I'm hungry now but like I hope you like it cause like I kinda liked it and I feel kinda happy 😍

#twisted wonderland x child reader #twst x child reader #jack howl x reader #Malleus draconia x reader #ace trapolla x reader #deuce spade x reader #thedivineflowers

119 notes · View notes

ozimaniac · 11 months

Text

[Genyatta Villager & Monk AU] 🐉🌕

(This post turned into a fanfic halfway through, so be prepared.)

Genji is a simple villager and Zen is a monk. They are both human in this AU.

Some monks in Thailand and other Asian countries collect food offerings from locals by walking around their villages together. Later on, they all share the food.

So what if Zen was one of those monks and he would frequently interact with Genji, while he was collecting alms. They usually didn't have much time to talk during these visits, but they would still leave a lasting impression on each other. Their short chats were pleasant.

Slowly Genji would develop a crush on Zen and try to cook really yummy stuff for him!! (Maybe bake him sweet goods. It would be easier to distinguish later on, since similar food is often thrown together.) And every time he would return, Genji would ask him if he liked his previous meal. Zen would compliment his cooking skills and be impressed by his generosity. (Obviously Genji had no ulterior motives *cough cough*.. just a really generous guy!) Of course Zen would thank him every time. Genji loved to see his happy expression.

Not all of his attempts at cooking & baking were successful though. In his constant attempt to impress the monk, he would try out new recipes. It came as no surprise that he almost managed to set the kitchen on fire multiple times. His brother Hanzo was not happy about the smell of burned sugar in the house, so he would question Genji's newfound obsession with cooking. Of course Genji wouldn't disclose why exactly he was doing this. Hanzo managed to connect the dots eventually though.

When Genji's attempts at cooking failed, he would feel pretty bad about it. Zen would not see him during these days, which also left him a little sad. Hanzo would come up to him and give him a small offering and tell him that Genji was busy on that day. (In reality, he was just sulking in his room.)

After some days had passed, Genji still didn't show up to greet Zen. At this point Hanzo was tired of making up excuses for his brother and confronted him, as he knocked on his door. He didn't open..

"You're staying in again? Aren't you going to give an offering today? You know it's rude."

"..I don't have anything to give."

"Then just make something. Even if it's just rice."

"That's not good enough."

Hanzo was sighing under his breath.

"They're just monks, you know. None of them expect a five star meal!"

"..."

"Also.. someone is asking to see you. And I'm tired of lying about your.. circumstance."

"..."

The silent treatment he got from his brother was agitating. Be damned if you try to help, be damned if you don't.

Before Hanzo decided to either break the door down or leave, Genji had come up to open it. Hanzo could clearly see that he had been crying. His anger faded quickly.

"How is he..?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Genji looked down. Hanzo sighed once more.

"He seems sad about your absence."

"R-really?" Genji's eyes widened.

"Yes. So how about you stop sulking and actually go out to see him."

"..Aren't they gone by now?"

"Of course they're gone, they're busy people." Hanzo took a determined breath. "That's why you should go over to the monastery for a visit."

This suggestion took Genji by surprise.

"Visit? I'm not sure-"

Hanzo interrupted him quickly, as he was getting frustrated with his brother's antics.

"Just go! They will probably be done with their meal, by the time you get there. Who knows, maybe they'll even invite you to eat with them." He continued.

"Although they might have to shave your head first." He added threateningly.

"..Wait, is that actually required?" Genji asked with a worry in his tone.

Hanzo did not answer that question, instead he grabbed his brother's arm and pulled him out of the room. As soon as Genji was pushed outside, the door behind him slammed shut. Before Genji could protest, he was interrupted once again.

"Have fun, I suppose." Steps slowly disappeared behind the door.

For a few seconds, Genji stood outside his house, dumbfounded. The sun was shining on his back. It was warm. He heard some critters in the bush. The air was fresh. He could feel the anxiety leave his body. He turned to look at the road ahead and made his way up the overgrown walkway. Hopefully his tears would dry until he got there. (Otherwise he would have to blame his ‘allergies’)

He would eventually reach the monastery, but he felt a bit lost. He took a deep breath and approached some monks at the front gate. Genji asked for a visit and mentioned Zenyatta's name. The monks welcomed him with open arms, although he had to wait outside the monastery halls. He took a seat on a small wooden bench and looked at the well-maintained garden. There was a big, old tree right behind him, and he was able to lean on it.

The two monks he had met outside, assured him they would tell Zenyatta about his arrival. As he waited, he was worried that they had forgotten about him. But sometimes you just had to be patient.

Eventually the same two monks stepped outside, together with another familiar face. Genji could feel his heart rate quickening, at the sight of the monk. He looked really pretty, as the light hit him past the shade of the trees. (That's what Genji thought at least, and if someone would disagree.. they probably had bad taste!)

As soon as Zenyatta had spotted those dark eyes, which were already looking back at him, he couldn't help but smile. Genji smiled back and waved at him. The monk was clearly excited to see him, as he quickly made his way over. The other two monks had turned back, to enter the monastery once again. Genji focused his attention on the man before him. Zenyatta broke the silence first.

"Oh Genji! you came to visit? How unexpected, but a pleasant surprise indeed!" He said lightheartedly.

Genji chuckled nervously. "I did.. I wanted to see you."

Zenyatta looked at him with a friendly light in his eyes. Then he sat down next to him.

"How thoughtful of you. I'm glad to see you as well. I missed tasting your food. Hanzo told me you were busy."

Genji couldn't lie to Zenyatta. At least not entirely.

"Actually.. I didn't feel so well these past days."

The monk turned his head and gave him a worried look.

"Oh no, were you sick?"

Genji thought about what he should say. But he couldn't think properly right now. Considering that his brain was pretty fried from his own thoughts and today's interactions.. he settled on the truth.

"No. I just felt bad. I couldn't bring myself to see you, because.. I just failed to make any offerings! I tried d-different recipes, I bought fresh ingredients from the m-market and it ended up tasting horrible a-and I had to throw them out and then I almost burned the kitchen down!"

Genji came to a halt and breathed heavily. He felt like he had confessed to some horrible crime. (Oversharing wasn't a sin, but he would probably feel embarrassed about it as soon as he got back home.)

Zenyatta was taken aback, while he was trying to process the new information.

"Genji.. that's.." The monk tried to find his words.

"That's what you were worried about?"

"I know, it's stupid."

Zenyatta assured him that it wasn't. "No, it's not. Sometimes we all overthink simple things. Even if you have nothing to give, you can always come see me." The monk's words were kind as always.

Genji gave him a sad smile. Zenyatta gently put a hand on his shoulder.

"We are always grateful about anything that is given to us. Even if you just cooked a pot of plain, white rice."

"..Hanzo said the same thing."

Zenyatta chuckled. "Did he?"

Genji became flustered thinking about his own irrational behavior.

"Maybe you should listen to him sometimes." The monk suggested.

Genji let out a big sigh and leaned back on the tree behind him. He looked up the trunk and into the foliage.

"I can be a bit stubborn."

Zenyatta shifted his weight. He leaned his own shoulder on Genji's.

There it was again. That quickening heartbeat. Genji tried desperately to be normal about this, as his eyes widened at the contact. Zenyatta slid his arm around Genji's. He could definitely feel his cheeks reddening. He feared that if he made eye contact his brain would short-circuit.

"Did you really set your kitchen on fire?"

"N-no! Almost. I almost did. There is a difference."

Zenyatta chuckled once again. The sound was ringing in Genji's ear.

"Alright, but please be careful next time."

Genji closed his eyes. The sun was relentlessly trying to blind him, if Zenyatta's smile wasn't already doing the same. But he felt alright. Maybe even happy, if he could put his pride aside.

He listened to Zenyatta's voice, telling him about this and that. He should visit more often, he thought to himself. But for now, he was simply enjoying the moment.

#genyatta #zenyatta tekhartha #genji shimada #zenyatta #genji #overwatch #text #prompts #writing #ow #human au #fanfic #i accidentally wrote half of a fanfic lmao #(I almost set my own kitchen on fire recently so..)#(unfortunately there was no romance involved in mine)#(aughheh)

20 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 1 year

Text

I need to re-watch the scene for exact details, but I've been thinking all day about Nate's failed Diamond Dogs attempt and why it crashed and burned so hard. I mean, the obvious takeaway is that there is none of the love and support from which to build that kind of group at West Ham. As Beard lays out for Trent in the same episode, they're laying bare their innermost thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If you don't trust the people in the room (which Nate has no reason to yet - it strikes me that they're left in this awkward silence while waiting to officially begin, rather than the casual camaraderie we see in Ted's office) and if there's no respect (which there isn't, particularly between Rupert and Nate: Nate is catching on to all of Rupert's manipulations - what name to call him, cheating with his secretary, etc. - and Rupert just straight up refuses to see him as a person) then of course the core foundation of what the group is built on will crumble.

However, beyond that I also think intention is important too. The original Diamond Dogs forms because Ted needs advice about sleeping with Sassy. He makes himself vulnerable to the very group he's forming as a way of modeling what the Diamond Dogs are all about. In contrast, Nate's first meeting feels more like an excuse to brag. Yes, he does have a similar problem to unpack, namely the question of how he should navigate this relationship, but that felt secondary to me, with the excuse to tell these top dog (pardon the pun) men that he's finally landed a maybe girlfriend forefronting his motivations. Remember, Rupert was meant to be in the room and Nate makes it clear that this meeting is not really about the group helping each other, it's about them paying attention to his partial success/continued worries. The fact that the other guy (I don't even know his name, which speaks to the lack of bonds in this room) wants to talk about taking care of his ailing parents but Nate shuts him down kinda says it all. Compare that to Beard graciously telling Ted that he has the floor and then, once Ted is done, he asks if anyone else has a problem to unpack, including Roy. Nate's Diamond Dogs, beyond lacking the relationships necessary to work in the first place, feels like it's built on his own, stubborn self-interest; it was an attempted replacement for Rupert/formerly the social media/formerly Ted. What outside force is building up my self-confidence nowadays, especially when Richmond is on a winning streak? Nothing except a maybe girlfriend! Let's try to create a new source of validation.

Nate has undoubtedly improved a great deal throughout this season. I actually thought at first that he was improving too quickly and with, to my mind, no narrative explanation. It was only when I saw other fans pointing out the power of getting distance from those who have enacted real and perceived harm (AKA the club and Ted) that Nate's kinda-offscreen growth made a bit more sense to me. However, now I'm actually glad to see him failing in these ways. Trying to talk to Ted after the game, spotting Rupert's manipulation, fluff family time that makes no mention of his father's expectations, a perfect end to his terrible date, not caring that his box got crushed, not spitting in the mirror... it felt like the show was absolutely speed-running Nate's redemption arc because it's the last season, rather than allowing him to organically struggle with these issues and face on-screen events that act as a catalyst for his growth. To say nothing of how the show argues very strongly that growth has to be modeled/supported for an extended period of time... and Nate is without both this season, yet still seems to 'magically' be improving. Given where we left him, I kinda feel like I'm watching an alcoholic suddenly overcome their addiction while working in a brewery. Yeah, of course that's possible... but I very much expected this to happen in a different environment, or at least with far, FAR more support. So now, despite only having three episodes left, I'm reassured by the backslide. Nate refuses to wave to Ted in front of the crowd. He's still trying to suck up to Rupert, both over text and in person. He forms a group that, although oh-so-obviously modeled after Ted's, is really just a Nate the Great show. It feels like the show remembers that he has too much to work on to 'fix' it all with a girlfriend storyline. Nate is a very complicated character who needs a great deal of screen-time to come back from where we left him last season; frankly, more screen-time than he can feasibly get with just a few episodes left and a cast this large. Despite the potential pitfalls of that though, I think it's good that the season is reintroducing some of that complexity. Nate isn't just on a winning streak of his own with soft looks cast towards Richmond photos and an adoring girl in his bed. That need for external validation is still very much there and he's never going to fully come into himself until he realizes what the himbo boys did this season: Belief isn't a sign up on the wall, or a kind coach, or a girlfriend, or a Diamond Dogs group. Those all help support you, yes, but ultimately it has to come from within.

#Ted Lasso #Ted Lasso spoilers #Nate Shelley #there's also a meta in here somewhere about West Ham vs. Keeley's office #and how both try to recreate what Ted has built #but with minimal success or outright failure #the show absolutely argues that Ted has created a domino effect #like him helping Trent and then Trent helping Colin #but there's also this strong implication that Ted is unique #capable of bringing people together - if not in a way others can't - than at least far more easily #something something he's point number 4 of total football

23 notes · View notes

agirlwholovesrockstars · 1 year

Text

out of touch

OUT OF TOUCH PART 2 ♡

OUT OF TOUCH PART 3 ♡

OUT OF TOUCH PART 4 ♡

OUT OF TOUCH PART 5 ♡

word count : I honestly don't know it's a bit long so enjoy sorry 😭🫶🏻

summary : you're a new girl at Hawkins High who came from a very wealthy family and Steve is your childhood friend in your life, you're very different from the rest of the wealthy kids around Hawkins, you're not doing anything the same thing like the rich kids do, you don't want to be a part of them when you try to get in with their circle before, that's when you became an outcast which is odd for some people "a rich kid but not popular" the problem is that you transferred to a lot of different schools and you can't really just fit in with all of them until you met Eddie at Hawkins High all of the sudden, you felt a connection with him and now he met you he just can't function without having you around.

warnings : 18+ Eddie x FEM!reader language, the reader has a bullying trauma, no use of y/n but reader is Amanda Jones, age gap Eddie is (21) and reader is (19), yeah, I think that's all

what to expect : strangers to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, it's a cute fiction, clueless idiots who can't make the first move lol

author note : HI! THIS IS MY VERY FIRST EDDIE MUNSON TUMBLR FIC I'm just doing this for fun and I have so many ideas I would like to share! excuse my horrible writing but I will try my best! 🥺❤️

THE STORY IS SET IN 1987!

and yes I remove the part where Eddie DIDN'T DIE! 😤

#pov : you're Amanda Jones, new girl at Hawkins High

you're a new student at Hawkins High and your parents are the most respectable and wealthy people....

your parents are having a hard time on which school that you can easily socialize with- it's not that you got a lot into trouble it's just that you're different than the others, the only friend that you ever had in your life is Steve Harrington- the most popular guy in town- you're childhood friends and both of your parents are like a member of the family so your bond is pretty solid.

you're nervous and shy about your first day at school but since your mom informed you that Steve goes to the same school- you calmed down a bit and get ready for school.

"Honey, hurry up you might missed your bus!" your mom exclaimed

"Yeah- I'm almost done!" you quickly ran into the table and grabbed your backpack

when you entered the school bus a lot of rumors going around the bus that you just pretend that you didn't hear it-

"oh my god isn't she the one from the Jones family that transferred to a lot of different schools because she couldn't fit in?" one girl student whispered to the other

"I think she's friends with Steve" laughs jokingly "why would someone like her could be friends with Steve?"

you just rolled your eyes and looked all of them stared at you like some kind of a freak and thank goodness there's an available seat where you could just avoid them all-

when you finally arrived at school you're hoping to see Steve was there so you can survive this shithole but sadly you didn't saw him at the school entrance so you just continued walking-

while you're preparing all of your school supplies for your locker and your class schedule- you suddenly heard someone talking about that one guy at school.

"can you believe he made a club for weird guys like him? they're so lame." one school jock said

"yeah- right but I admire his bravery coming up to school after 3 years of failing at class and still not graduating if I we're him I would be so embarrassed" school jock's friend added

"can you guys please just shut the fuck up you are just a bunch of assholes who can't even look into his eyes because all of you are cowards." Dustin annoyingly glares at them

"oh really?!? is he that strong and tough?! get the fuck out of here we don't believe every word you said." school jock teasingly said

"hmm, well, be my guest look who's behind you right now." Dustin looks behind at the two school jock's with a smirk on his face

"OH SHIT- IT'S EDDIE MUNSON."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

the two school jock's shouted and quickly ran away as far as possible

you watched the whole scenario and felt amused by Eddie and his club- while watching the two school jock's still running Eddie saw you on the far left side of the hallway and you looked at him and you quickly looked away and kept going on with your stuff

"wait- woah- who is she?" Eddie eyes still glued to you while he asked Dustin

"oh her? I didn't know she's coming today it's her first day at school and yeah she's a new student." Dustin surprised that you came today

Eddie irritated groans at Dustin "why you didn't tell me that someone else is coming?"

Dustin confusingly looked at Eddie "hold up- Eddie are you okay? wow, this is the very first time that I saw you completely don't know what to do because of a GIRL!"

Eddie bits his bottom lip and before Dustin closes his locker door Eddie beats him into it slams door locker himself "oh yeah? fuck you- Henderson?! keep your voice down."

Dustin flinched closed his eyes for a sec and Eddie asked "so um- fill me in about her do you know more?"

"uh- all I know that she's friends with Steve and she comes from a wealthy family-

Eddie realization hits him as he remembers that Steve when they we're kids before mentioning a girl bestfriend, he's never seen Steve with a girl other than Nancy is his ex in the past, but he's positive that you're the one childhood bestfriend that he's talking about even Steve doesn't mention it's name. He can feel it.

"wait, is she a Jones?" Eddie cuts off Dustin before he can finished

"yeah- the one who transferred to different a lot of schools like- god knows how many there are-" Dustin while furrowing his brows out of confusion

"Hmm that's kinda interesting- do you know why she did it?" Eddie sparks interest at that information

"from what I heard from Steve said to me is that she can't make friends easily and some of the teachers from her last schools that she go to can't stand her." Dustin shrugs

"so in conclusion- she's one of us!" Eddie almost jumps out of excitement

Dustin laughs "you're gotta be kidding me-"

Eddie made an death stare to Dustin

"oh my god, you're not kidding!" Dustin shockingly said

Eddie looked back at you but you weren't there anymore because the school bell already rang and him and Dustin quickly go to their seperated ways and to their classes

"damn- we will continue this discussion later at the cafeteria." Eddie narrows his eyes to Dustin

"alrighty then-" Dustin nods

so you arrived at your first class early and you can't pick which seat because all of them won't let you until you found Mike and Dustin on the same room and they have a an open seat next to them behind the back

"Hey- here's a seat available!" Dustin waved at you and that heavy weight of your shoulders just fades away

"excuse me- Dustin, did you know-" Mike said

"Mike- she's a new student and she deserves a warm welcome to the school even though it's shit but we try to do something about it am I right? come on, Mike try to keep up." Dustin while he roll his eyes to Mike

Mike scoffed "fine- hello ms?" *He let his hand out to shake his hand with you*

"Jones, Amanda Jones" *you shaked Mike's hand*

"Oh my god, so what is the meaning of this- since you shitheads find about her history and you decided to recruit her to your dumb club?" one bully teasingly said

"what are you guys? a freak magnet?" the whole class laughs

"go get a life losers!" Mike shouted

your teacher finally came in and recalled there's a new girl at school and fuck you guessed it right you're going to introduce yourself

you walked infront of the class and then everyone started whispering and you take a deep breath stand up for yourself infront of them

"so, Ms. Jones would you like to introduce yourself and share what are your interests and how's the school?" Your teacher said

"probably she's going to brag about how rich they are but too bad no one likes her" one bully said

(the whole class laughs)

"even the popular ones doesn't like her- aww poor thing." Angela sarcastically lets out sympathetic expression to you

you glare at all of them annoyingly

"PLEASE EVERYONE BE QUIET!" Your teacher shouted out loud and everyone went quiet

"okay hahaha" you sarcastically laughed- you clear your throat "first of all my name is Amanda Jones and you guys all probably knew that already because how "fAmOus mY fAmiLy is" and it's so strange that I am not the other kids who are so very perfect in their own way and gets along with everybody- NEW FLASH PEOPLE OF HAWKINS HIGH!"

you shouted and left all the class in shock

"Y'ALL SO FUCKING JUDGEMENTAL BUT I GUESS I CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE WORLD IS- THERE'S SO MANY MEAN PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY AND AVOID THEY'RE ALWAYS KEEP SAYING THINGS ABOUT YOU- AND YOU CAN'T EVEN THINK DEEPER MAYBE SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE IN THAT CIRCLE AND SHE WANTS TO DO HER OWN THING RATHER THAN BEING BOASTFUL OF HER OWN FAMILY NAME!!!!!"

"You don't fucking like me?! well- that's fine with me I don't care about that but don't you ever put dirt on my family's name!"

you quickly ran into your seat and sat down and you feel proud of yourself because you're already fed up with all the people's bullshit and you glad you did what you keeping in for so long-

everybody was shocked and the whole class are now afraid calling you names but they never stopped staring at you like they're so disgusted on how you behave-

Mike and Dustin watched you as you sit down and they looked back at each other while we're watching you, they're so surprised, they didn't expected of what just happened.

while you're walking your way back to your seat

*Dustin applauded of what you did and he's very impressed at you"

"Yeah- that's right Amanda, go on tell them-"

"Never let them get into you and you did it, you proved them wrong." Mike proudly added

you smiled at them and you said "oh- thank you."

"Eddie was right, you're really one of us- I can't believe he already saw that in you and he haven't even met you yet." Dustin raises both of his brows out of realization

Mike gasped "What?! w-what?! Eddie did really said that?!"

"shockingly, yeah- I know it's the very first time that Eddie gets all wrapped up with her."

you eyes light up to what you just heard but you keep it not too obvious for them to see and you're so curious why they're so shocked about it so you asked them

"I'm sorry- can I ask why?"

"I honestly don't know yet- maybe we will see this different side of Eddie." Dustin lets out of deep sigh and thinks to himself yeah Eddie is nice and fun and all but he knows deep down he doesn't fully know him yet.

"yeah, I agree, I guess we really didn't knew him yet, we're friends and all but we really don't know nothing or anything about him. I'm kinda excited to see soft Eddie era" Mike chuckles

you giggled- "oh really? how come?"

"A lot of people here in Hawkins High hated him because he likes to listen to metal music and he wears black all the time which is ridiculous like who fucking cares right?! that they're scared because of that- most of the people here don't like it because it's "sATaniC" and odd you know- Dustin annoyingly explains

"OH- HE SELLS DRUGS!" one bully shouted out loud

"Wow- thank you for the wonderful information- you asshole!" Mike scrunches up his forehead annoyingly

you raised your eyebrow and looked at them

"Okay, Amanda it's not what you think- he's a very nice guy and he's a gentleman! don't believe every word that they said about him they're hypocrites! it's not like he just shoved them drugs onto their faces against their will!" Dustin rolled his eyes after explaining it to you

"yeah, I understand- it's okay to react, Amanda, that's what I thought before but we also understand why Eddie does it- his uncle is the only one that he has as a family you know- I know it's not right thing to do but it helped his way out to survive and provide help out his uncle." Mike explains while he lets out a soft eyes glaring at you and hoped that you're fully convinced he is not like the others think about him

you look at the both of them and you suddenly felt this comfort in your heart and you haven't felt that in such a long time, for all the years you spent suffering in those past schools that you attended before- it's not that you found something about Eddie- maybe this school is different, maybe it's better where you can finally be happy and free and also make unexpected friendships and just be yourself.

"No it's okay- I only reacted that way because I've never encountered something like this." you nod to reassure them

"So we're cool then?" Dustin glares at you in concern

*Both of them looking at you for your approval*

"yeah- we're cool- don't worry about it."

*the three of you paid attention to the class and after 30 mins- the bell rang and it's time for lunch*

"oh- finally I'm starving." Dustin exclaimed

"I'll catch up with you Dustin! You can come with us, Amanda." Mike said while he tugs out a soft smile in the corner

"sure." You eyes light up at Mike because finally someone is nice to you and hoping that you guys will became friends

while sitting at the cafeteria- everyone is talking about the three of you

"I fucking hate high school." Dustin angrily said while clenching his jaw

"Tell me about it." Mike while looking down at his food tray

"We'll just ignore them, they're not worth of our time so- where do we sit?" you groan after you asked them

they looked at you with their smugs all of their faces

"I like this girl-" Dustin saids with a silly grin

"oh god- please stop it- the day isn't over yet and I'm really hungry." you scoffed and chuckled

"wait- no wonder Eddie already liked you." Mike teasingly said while Dustin laughs

"CAN WE PLEASE JUST SIT DOWN?!?" you shouted out loud while you're so annoyed by them

"Alright, alright fine- jeez- you and Eddie both have the same temper." Dustin said wide eyes open

you rolled your eyes and put your bag into the table and picked up a tray and you find something to eat

while going back to the seat you saw Eddie already in there and all of the sudden you felt awkward and never felt this to anyone before maybe you liked him as well so you slowly walked towards to a different table

"hey, you little shits- what's up? have you met the new gal?" Eddie walks towards to the table and leans at them

"We already interacted with her and she's our acquaintance." Mike proudly said

"oh really? then what- she's doing on the other table?!" Eddie saids while his annoying expression appears as he sats down

"What?! Where?!" Dustin worriedly said

"LOOK ON THE OTHER SIDE YOU DUMB FUCKS!" Eddie shouted out loud and throws food at the both of them

"Jesus Christ-" Dustin startled

"Please believe us, Eddie! We literally saying the truth." Mike said while begging for his dear life

"I think she got shy when you came over." Dustin furrowed his brows with confusion

"hmm- is that so? I'll go right over to her then." Eddie let out a smirk while he looks at you

Mike and Dustin watches Eddie goes straight to you and Mike is so flabbergasted of what he just witnessed

"holy shit- you're we're right Dustin he never acts like this before what is going on with him?." Mike said scratching his head out of confusion

"I told you so-" Dustin shrugs

while you watched the three of them arguing with each other and you look back to your food and you suddenly feel someone looking at you- you raise your head and look at them again and saw

Eddie walking straight towards you and you feel your heartbeats so fast rapidly and you feel you're about to faint and you didn't even notice that you're hands are shaking and you don't understand what you're feeling right now and it feels like you have to get up from the table and ran away but you can't, you froze as he finally appears to the side of the table- looking at you from up and down

You can't even look at him in the eye and you don't even know why- maybe you had a crush on him? there's plenty of other students but he's the only one who can make you feel this nervous and right there at that moment you really want to get out of there and walk away from him

you try to get up until he stops you by holding your arm and you look back at him and finally you met his eyes- oh god- his eyes are so beautiful and you see him begging for you to stay even he doesn't say anything but somehow you already know it just by looking straight to his eyes

the tension is different- your heart flutters because of him holding your arm and you both didn't noticed that you're both staring for a long time and it felt like the time stops and the whole room is filled with silence you can't even hear the loud cafeteria anymore just him and you staring at each other

Eddie felt a connection towards you and he also doesn't understand why but he feels comfort just by looking at you and you feel the same way

you're both strangers- you didn't know him yet and he also doesn't know you that you even existed and god how he wished he already knew about you and kept thinking all over his head that where have you been all of his life? and you sudden had a thought about destiny, maybe this school is an only exception because of this moment you're having right now.

Eddie is the one who stopped the eye contact from you as he clears his throat and removes his hand from your arms and puts inside of his pockets breathing nervously

And you just wished he keep holding you until the school is over

you kept staring at him and you haven't gotten out of the trance yet and you see him blushing out of his cheeks and you realized what you're doing and that snapped out of you to go back to normal

you let out of a nervous chuckle "Oh- hi- I'm sorry-"

Eddie scratches the back of his neck as he thinks what he will do to make this not awkward and not fuck it up

you both sit down to the table and you feel like an idiot doing the same thing as he did and there's nothing funny about it but you just let out a smile on your face while looking down at the table

Eddie noticed it as he lets out a smirk on his face but he quickly removes it before you even noticed it and acts serious

"Uh- how are you?" Eddie asks with a concern on his eyes

you look at him with his soft chocolate button eyes and makes you wanna melt in his arms and never letting him go away

"I'm- I'm good, thank you." you said to him while you give him a sweet smile on your face

Eddie feels weak as he watch you smile at him and he is surprised you're not scared of him- well- all of the students we're afraid of him except for the friends he had on his club.

you on the other hand had the courage to speak up out of nowhere a sudden confidence not to feel awkward anymore cause you don't wanna waste this moment you're finally met him and you really want to be friends or maybe just maybe.... build a relationship?

"I'm Amanda, by the way" as you let out of hand in front of him offering him to shake hands with you

Eddie tilts his head and smiles while looking down at your hand and he shakes it.

"Likewise, I'm Eddie-"

"Munson" you cutted him off "yeah, I already heard about you, Dustin and Mike told me everything."

"Oh, really?" he straightens his back from the chair and put his arm around the chair and stares back at you

"Okay, so what do they told you about me?"

you scrunch up your forehead and squint your eyes and put your index finger tapping on to your chin while you think

Eddie lets out a small giggle while watching you he just wanna say how cute you are while you're thinking

"They say that you love D&D, you have this club." you pointed out to his shirt while he looks down on it nodding on you. "You hate bullies, I am still confused why everybody is afraid of you like there's nothing to be afraid of, you're not even scary!" you scoffed and laugh while explaining it. Eddie face lights up to what of you just said and this makes him love you even more. "You um- sell drugs..." You shrugged "but I don't even mind it all." Eddie lets out of a soft sigh and smiled at you as he worriedly thought of you didn't want to be near at him anymore but here you are, so sweet and so kind to him "and oh- one more thing." You added. Eddie furrows his eyebrows in confusion. You pointed out again his whole outfit and my god you wanted to tell him how hot he is and you realized you really have a type and that's exactly him "judging by the way you dress, you have exquisite music taste." you smiled while looking back at him

"Wow" Eddie lets out an impressed expression in his face and applaused at you

"You got them all right, sweetheart, and yes I do have exquisite music taste." Eddie nods and leans at you while tugs out a smile on the side of his lips

"Sweetheart" right there you just wanna crawl up to him and kiss him

"and in fashion as well." while you tug out of your clothes and you smile at him again, how many times I smile back at this boy? You think to yourself

he giggled and smile at you again "I already know who you are as well but it's just a little information that I know about you."

He pouts while looking at you

"Aww, that's too bad, it's not my fault tho- your boys have a big mouth." You gesture to the table where Mike and Dustin sitting and you noticed there's another group of people with them and you already know they're part of his club too cuz all of them wore the same shirt.

"Yeah, I know" he laughed while he is still looking at you "I can't stand them sometimes but I do care a lot to all of them." while he looks at the boys on the other side, Your eyes sparked up of how he expresses his emotions without any shame he doesn't care if the others thinks that he is too soft towards his friends, he really meant it just by the tone of his voice and it makes your heart full about it.

You look down on your lunch and you noticed that it's only 20 minutes left for lunch

"I'm sure you do, Eddie." you smile at him and he look back at you with his soft eyes and smiled back at you and he stares at you AGAIN

you're the one who cut the eye contact off because there's not time for lunch anymore if you continue to look back at him again, you cleared your throat "I think we should eat lunch now." you giggled

Eddie realizes of what he's been doing and he hadn't thought of you that you might be hungry since the two of you interacted earlier and brushes his hands up to his face out of disappointment

While you're watching him and you can't help but laugh at his reaction, Eddie removes his hands away from his face as he watches you laughing. oh- your laugh, your sweet voice, makes his heart warm and he laughs with you as well

"oh god- yeah you're right- shit- I'm sorry, you can eat with us if you want." Eddie asks and wishing you would say yes

"yes, I'd love to." you smile at him as you both get up and walk back towards to the table where all of his friends already eating lunch

It became quiet when you and Eddie finally infront of them at the table

Gareth already knows what happened as Mike and Dustin explained earlier but he is still absolutely confused why Eddie is with you maybe it's because he isn't used seeing Eddie with a girl around.

Jeff smirks at the both of you and thought to himself of what good looking couple you both are.

Dustin gets up and whispers to you and said "we already told them everything just ignore them." And he look back at the gang and give them a cold side eye not to say or do anything stupid to make you feel uncomfortable and he sits back down.

"Um- hi?" you waved your hand at them shyly

Eddie looks at you and he smiles as he put his arm around your shoulder and you widen your eyes at his action and look up at him and thank goodness your cheeks didn't go red as you control yourself.

"Guys, please be nice, this is Amanda and I'm sure she will make a fine member to us." Eddie carefully explains to his boys

all of them rolls their eyes and groans

"We already know, Eddie" Gareth scoffed

"and we also already know that you like her." Jeff teasingly said as he smirks

Mike and Dustin giggling as they're watching you completely froze of what you just heard while Eddie's arms is still around your shoulders.

and shit- you fucking blushed- as you thought to yourself that you handling yourself pretty well but you guessed not, you cleared your throat and you remove yourself from Eddie's arm as he watches you and the gang while you walk you quickly where your backpack is besides Mike and you sat down and said "I'm going to eat now, lunch is going to be over soon." you showed a shy smile at them

"Right." Eddie said and he sats down at the center of the table while he sneered at Jeff

Jeff rolls his eyes at him

"Wait, I get it now, This is so obvious, the tension-" Gareth finally realizes but before he finished Eddie shouted "SHUT UP!" as Gareth sighs out of frustration.

"Okay, so about on Friday, after Hellfire, all of us are going to Steve's house and cuz it's movie night!" Dustin excitedly said

"Oh- shit, yeah I completely forgot about that what are we going to watch then?" Mike asks

"Harrington?" you asked while you leaned back at Dustin as he almost chokes on the sandwich and take a gulp of his Coke he looks back at you "oh my god, I'm sorry I didn't told you before, yeah I know him, we're buddies." as he runs his hands up and down to his thighs

"Oh, wow, small world, that's cool." you smile at Dustin while you reach out for his back and pat him down.

Dustin clears his throat and nods and he hasn't recovered from the choke "Thank you."

"We should definitely watch Dune." Gareth exclaimed

"Absolutely not, The Nightmare On The Elm's Street it's a must watch!" Jeff argues with Gareth

"I think that is too dark, maybe we should Legend instead?" Mike suggests as he put his hands out in the table.

"How about Little Shop Of Horrors?" Dustin joins the argument

"Oh, god- that's so boring!" Gareth annoyingly said

"No one can argue on me on this one." Eddie shrugs

The whole gang went quiet as they wait for Eddie

"Indiana Jones must be on that list." he slams his hand down at them as they continue bickering with each other

You watched them all argue with every movie coming out of their mouths as you ate the last piece of sandwich on your food tray

from "Teen Wolf, E.T, The Goonies, Fright Night, Back To The Future, Footloose, The Shining."

"Labyrinth" you said as you swallow your sandwich and grab your Coke with the last ounce of it left.

They stopped arguing as they look at you and Dustin and Mike with smiles at their faces and Jeff and Gareth looked back at each other completely confused they didn't expected that to happen, meanwhile Eddie with his lips apart and his jaw almost drops on the floor and let out a smirk on you

"Well, aren't you full of surprises?" Eddie crosses his arms while he looks at you

You tilt your head at him and said "I am a movie lover, if you don't know that yet." You grin at him.

Eddie grinned back at you and giggled.

"Oh yeah? who directed Dune?" Gareth asks you seriously.

"Gareth, oh my god stop-" but before Dustin he can continue, you answered Gareth "David Lynch"

Gareth's jaw dropped and laughed he looks back at Jeff who is also impressed

You roll your eyes at the both of them shaking your head off at the same time until Jeff asks you another one "How many John Hughes movies that he created?"

"That's too easy, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Pretty In Pink, Some Kind Of Wonderful." Jeff and Gareth are in shock as you kept going naming every movie

"Damn, okay, she even knows Some Kind Of Wonderful." Jeff exclaimed as he looks back at Eddie

Little did you know that's one of Eddie's favorite movies and his heart almost stopped that you're aware of the said movie, he can't help himself to let out a big smile while looking at you.

"Okay, so in conclusion- all of the movies that we mentioned you already seen them all?" Mike politely asks

"Yeah, I do, I love to watch movies it's like my favorite thing ever, it makes me happy." You didn't even notice your face radiates as you talk about what you love.

"I'm sorry, was that too much? I get so excited when I talk about what I love the most." you look all of them in concern

"Nah, you're fine, I would love to hear more about movies that you like." Dustin reassures you as he put his arm on the table resting his chin to look at you and he nods at you to proceed

"Well, um-" all of them watching you as you shift on your seat and look down out of embarrassment because you haven't gotten this much attention before and you're not used to it and you're surprised that they will listen to anything that you liked to say "I also love action and historical movies! but most of the time I just really enjoy every kind of movie genre, but, maybe that's just me, I'm a movie goer so, I guess I liked movies when it's good, it depends sometimes though if it's really shit and boring then I don't like it." you laughed and they all laughed as well

Eddie checking you out as he looks at you from top to bottom, your hair is brown beautiful volume layered haircut it's a little bit curled at the sides and he loves the way you put it on the other side when it's hitting your face and you style it so perfectly and nicely just the way he likes it and you have this rock n' roll hand sign pendant necklace and sword earrings and he notices that you have painted black nail polish with a black scrunchie on your right wrist and you also have a few rings and a simple black leather belt bracelet on your left wrist and his eyes widen as he realizes that you both somehow have the same taste and you wear an off shoulder long sleeve black blouse a little ruffled at the top of it with denim ripped jeans with Nike with beige, cream and rose colors on it as your shoes.

He still watches you, continue to talk about movies with all of them, your smile and laughter fills his heart with comfort, he wanted to be with you so bad.

"My god, she looks amazing." as he thought to himself but he wanna said it, but he doesn't want you to be teased by his friends but he loves the way you flustered by him.

"You guys, should watch The Untouchables! I promise, you won't regret it!" You exclaimed that made Eddie snap out of his thoughts

"If you say so, I'm in!" Dustin happily voted

"Same here" Mike raises his hand

"I admit I judge you too harshly but now I think you're going to be one of favorite schoolmates here, so fuck yeah, I'm in." Gareth nudges Jeff's arm

I highly agree with you on that one." Jeff looks at Gareth and back at you and nods

You smiled to all of them, you noticed almost all of them agree to what you said but there's one more person left..... It's Eddie

While they noticed you're looking at Eddie all of them sigh as they realized, it's hard to impress Eddie, they all been there before.

Hell- you already won his heart at the first place but of course he's not going to admit it but soon he will be, he just wanted to test you more, if you really KNOW every bit of movies to music that he likes as well.

Since he noticed how you dressed, he let out a smug smile on you, he uncrosses his arms and taps on the table as he thinks of he's going to say

"Whoops, this is not going to end well." Gareth glares at you

You burrow your eyesbrows in confusion

until Eddie asked you a question "So, tell me, Amanda, what kind of band that you reminds of how I style?"

You raised your eyebrows "it's obviously you look like Kirk Hammett from Metallica." you huffed

Gareth, Jeff, Dustin and Mike laughed controllably and they look at him with his face of defeat on his face

Your answer is right that's why he's pressed about how quickly you answered, He nods while looking at you licking his lips as he thinks another question

You smile at him sarcastically

"Name every band from the 70's, you think you can handle that?" Eddie shrugs

"OOOOH- now that's a tough one." Jeff raises his eyebrows at you

"Are you sure you can handle me?" You crossed your arms and you said that so confidently that made Eddie flustered.

The boys are giggling and teasing Eddie as they watch their Dungeon Master getting defeated by you and he hasn't been defeated like this before.

"Oh- don't you underestimate me, darling." Eddie while he moved his lips to the side

"Fine, I'm terrified!" you rolled your eyes as your put your hand out as you count down putting finger down one by one while you mentioned every band from the 70s from "Black Sabbath" "Deep Purple" "Led Zeppelin" and much, much more you said every important details about them and even the fun facts you also told him as well.

The whole gang was left in a state of shock and Eddie is stoned and couldn't even blink to hear everything what you just said, legend saids he is still processing....

You put both of your arms infront of the table and rest your chin to your hands looking back at Eddie "Well?" you smiled at him teasingly.

"Man, you're so fucked up right now." Jeff looks at Eddie while giggling with Gareth

"Looks like we got another metalhead around." Gareth nods at you

"it's the same thing with movies though, I enjoy every genre of music as well, I love Michael Jackson, he's my idol." You smiled at Gareth

"That's awesome." Gareth agrees

Eddie doesn't stop there, he didn't knew much about Michael Jackson's music but he already listens some of his work and admits that his stuff is very cool, he likes it. He knows only one fun fact about his one song though.

"Who's the one played the guitar solo on Beat It?" Eddie asks you while he smirked

Jeff and Gareth looks at you with wide eyes and Mike and Dustin crossing their fingers hoping you will be able to win this once and for all.

"Are you seriously being for real now, Eddie? You even have the same name as the guitarist!" You raised both of your hands out of annoyance

He raises his eyebrows at you as he already know that you knew the answer but he still wanted to hear you say it. "You haven't answered my question though, Tell me, Who is it?"

You sigh, shaking your head while you answered "Eddie Van Halen from the band Van Halen."

Jeff and Gareth cheered for you and Mike and Dustin shouted "YES" as they slammed their hands on the table

"You really got me, Amanda, I guess I'll be seeing you at Friday." Eddie salutes at you as he lets out a smile.

"I'll be there, Eddie." you smile back at him

You thought Eddie will get mad at you because he loses, but you're happy how he celebrates with the others with you that you won over him

The bell rings and the lunch is over, all of you stand up and quickly ran out of the cafeteria

Eddie waves back at Gareth and Jeff and he told them "Later."

Mike and Dustin asks you which class you're going to and you hand out your paper to them and they look at your schedule and they frowned at you because this next period you're not going to the same class with them "Oh, that's okay, guys, I'm not going anywhere away from you." You laughed "We will see you later okay? Just find us if you need anything, You'll be fine." Mike said in concern "Oh shit-" as Dustin look at his watch and they're going to be late "We gotta run for it Mike! Don't forget us Amanda!"

"I won't!" You shouted back at Dustin and Mike waves bye to you as he almost trips off and follows Dustin, you giggled at them as they quickly ran into the hallway.

You look back down on to your schedule and finding the next room that you're going to attend which is on the 2nd Floor and you noticed you're the only one left standing in the hallway and you turned around bumped infront of Eddie

"Woah, easy there." Eddie holds both of your arms as he steadying you.

"Oh! I'm sorry."

You smile at him and move away from him a little bit and you asked him "Can you point out which direction is this room?"

Eddie looks at your schedule "My, my, we both have the same class, I'm also going there as well."

"Really?! that's great!" You blinked out of annoyance of how you sounded, you look down at embarrassment.

He giggled and he lets his arm out for you to hold "You're very cute, you know that? Don't be embarrassed about it, You're doing fine just like Dustin said earlier, Don't apologize."

You hold his arm that he puts out for you and you look up at him with a smile at your face and he smiles back at you and he's happy that he made you smile, he doesn't see your disappointed expression anymore

"Ah, There she is! Now, Let's go get to class" Eddie added

You both arrived perfectly in time at English class and coincidentally there's two available seats available at the back and you both sat down together...

You both ignore the glares of your classmates giving you and he is also glad that you didn't care anything about them at all.

Finally, the teacher arrived and discusses as Eddie thinks is super boring but he looks at you very attentive at the middle of the class, you didn't even noticed that he's looking at you from time to time because you're so focused on the topic that the teacher is discussing, you're taking down notes.

He tears a piece of paper and scribble something down and gives it to you quickly before the teacher saw it while she's writing on the blackboard.

You looked down and look at Eddie with a smile on his face, you smiled so confused at him and you pick the piece of paper and hiding it from the teacher while you read it what it says.

"I would like to take you out on a date ;)" you giggled quietly and you scribble down as Eddie looking at you he leans in a little bit while he's trying to take a peek of what you're writing, you noticed this you turn away from him and you poke out your tongue at him.

He laughed and raises his both of his hands up while whispering "alright, alright."

You turn back and give the paper back to him, he unfolded it and read "That was fast, but I feel like we should get to know each other first, Eddie. But I'd love to go out with you soon. ♡"

Eddie's eyes softens while he's reading it, your handwriting is much as beautiful as you, and he looked back at you and you wink at him.

"Okay." he whispers to you and smiles back at you.

Eddie respects your decision, which is surprising to you because it's rare to have nice guys like him and you know for sure he will bring the best dates ever, If it happens.

You're glad you have the same classes with Eddie which makes it even better for you to come at school without being awkward. You feel comfortable spending time with him, it's only been one whole day that you met him and get to know him but it feels like you're been together for years, you get along with each other so easily and naturally. Eddie thinks the same thing.

You both walk towards your locker, you remove your hand from Eddie's arm and you put your bag down to put stuff away from your locker.

"Finally, school is over." you inhale and exhale infront of your locker while putting your notebooks and left the ones that has homework.

Eddie leans on the side of your locker "Aww please, don't make this day over yet, I wanna spend some more time with you." He pouts and his eyes doe back at you.

"Gosh, Eddie, I'm with you since after lunch?! and now!" You giggled while you push him back away.

Eddie laughed and said "But I meant it though, Finally, I have the reason to go to school everyday." he smirked at you

You roll your eyes as you close your door locker and grab your backpack.

"So, what are you doing later?" Eddie asks while he moves closer to you.

"Um, probably going home and do homework." You shrug as you look back down.

"Oh, do you want to-" Eddie gets cut off by Gareth running towards at you both

He rolls his eyes and sigh because of the interruption

"Eddie, There you are! We've been looking for you everywhere! Come on, we have to go, man! the campaign?! Have you completely forgotten about it?! We've been planning this since last week!" Gareth saids with the high tone of his voice as he catches up with his breath from running

"Fuck, yeah, you right! My bad, I'm going with you." but he halted his tracks and goes back to you "Amanda, you can come with us." Eddie softens his eyes at you

"Yeah, take her with you!" Gareth shouted

but before you can answer, Eddie grabs your hand and the three of you ran across the hallway and turn left and absolutely didn't care if you guys bumping each other of the students as you ran faster.

"HEY, WATCH IT!" "ARE YOU BLIND FREAKS?" "WATCH WE'RE YOU GOING LOSERS!" but you all of you didn't care at all to everyone calling you guys out until you reached the destination.

It's a abandoned room filled with broken chairs and tables and you look around they designed it very well done with Mountain Dew cans everywhere but Eddie and the boys asks for permission to use this while he told you and their teacher lets them use it which is surprising to you.

You saw Dustin and Mike arguing with each other and you notice someone new to you and he looks at you and walk straight towards you "You must be Amanda, Hi, I'm Lucas, Lucas Sinclair! " gleefully greets you as he lets out his hand to shake your hands with you.

"it's nice to meet you, Lucas." You smile at him while he shakes your hand.

"She's a nerd just like us! You're going to love her." Eddie exclaimed besides you

"I think I already like her." Lucas nods at Eddie and looks back at you

"I didn't saw you at the cafeteria earlier? at lunch?" You asked Lucas

"Oh, yeah, right, I was in a basketball game practice." Lucas answers as he clears his throat glares at Eddie and look back down.

"It's okay though, even I don't like people around that area but I don't want them to be closed forever, if they want to socialize with anyone." Eddie puts his hand on Lucas shoulder to reassures him that it was fine.

Lucas sighs of relief "Thank you, Eddie." as he smile back at him.

You admire how understanding everyone is even though you find them scary at first but you find it interesting and you got used to it.

Dustin claps back his hand as he got everyone's attention at him

"Are we going to start or not?" Dustin glares at everybody in the room.

Everyone goes to their respective seats and Eddie pulls you with him as he puts a chair near him and he gestures you to sit down.

"You don't have to do anything, you can just relax and watch us." Eddie tells you as he worries that you might get bored while they play the game.

you noticed Eddie's expression and you put your hand on the back of his hand and you say "I am curious about this game and I wanted to learn as well, don't worry, I'm interested." you smile at him while your rub your thumb on his hand.

Eddie ever since you talked to each other loves your enthusiasm and he smile at you while he reaches out to your hair and tugs behind your ear.

You blushed but you didn't care and you stare each other AAAAGAIN.

Jeff releases out a yawn and stretches his back and looks back at the two of you.

Gareth makes a kissing sound and teases you both.

"They're both cute though." Lucas smirks at the both of you

"Yeah, they've been staring at each other since like forever!" Mike shoves his hand around his face.

"This is going to take a century before we even get started!" Dustin shouted but he takes it back after you look at him "Oh, no offense, Amanda, I'm sorry."

You and Eddie let go at each other with embarrassment across your faces

"Fine, Let's start." Eddie raises brows at all of them

"And our Master is back." Gareth teases Eddie

"Funny, shut up, Gareth!" as he shouted back at him

It's been an hour since the game started, you loved how dedicated Eddie is while he's storytelling to everyone.

You laughed at all of them when everyone lets out a groan and everybody raving about who's the one is going to make the first move.

they all argue and shouted at each other and they all get up and says a timeout before they decided.

"You know what, screw it" Dustin having no other choice

"Give me the D20." turns around at Eddie and throws at him as he catches it.

"Are you serious, Dustin? that could kill us all?!" Jeff panicking

"Never tell me the odds." Dustin says

He rolls out the D20

Eddie watches it and bangs his head "That's a miss!"

"What?! No!" Dustin hits the things out of the air and everyone else started yelling at each other

"You guys, wait." You said at them

Everyone looks at you "There's one more chance, right? I volunteer to throw the second one."

Mike and Dustin shrugs at each other and Gareth dart his eyes from you and back to Eddie meanwhile Jeff on the other hand losing his shit at the game.

"Then, what are we waiting for? Bring her in Eddie!" Lucas exclaims as he walks towards you and grabs you and puts you to the center of the game and caught Dustin off guard as Lucas quickly picks up the D20 from his hand.

All of them looked at you and you look at Eddie with your eyes asking if it's okay with him you playing his game.

"Sure, why not." as he shifts from his seat and lean on the table as he watches you.

"Oh my god it's happening." Dustin as he paces back and forth beside you

"Please" Gareth expresses his hopes while you started closing your eyes while your roll the D20

"Come on!!!!" Mike yelling

You focused on the roll and concentrate with it and all of the sudden the noise from the panicking of the guys seems all blurry to you as you let you go of the D20

Jeff put his hands over his head

Lucas put his hand over his mouth and closes his eyes

Eddie watches closely and it ends with 20

"Crit hit!" You jumped out of excitement and everyone cheered

"WHAT?! WHAT?!" Eddie jumped as well and laughs as he claps back

You look at him with a proud smile at your face and everyone at your back still celebrating

He leans down and as he welcomes you to his game

Everyone goes out from the room still cheering you on as they still rambling about how amazing you are at the game, it's unbelievable to them that you did that and it was your first time playing but you did it so naturally....

Mike and Dustin gives you an unexpected hug from them before they go home and hug them back as they told you "See you tomorrow, Amanda!" You waved at them and you say "You too!"

Lucas hugs you as well and he pats down your back "You're so cool, I'm hoping to see you again soon." You smiled back at him "Not as cool as you, Sinclair." He laughs and waves bye to you.

While waving to Lucas, Gareth and Jeff appears beside you and you look at the both of them "I have never seen anyone defeated Eddie like that! You already beat him at lunch and now at his game!" Jeff exclaims as he shakes your hand "Not gonna lie, that's a really good game." as he pats your shoulder and you say "I try my best." you raised both of shoulders and smile at them, they both chuckled as they wave bye to you.

Before you left the building you heard someone running behind you and you turn back and it's Eddie trying to keep up with you.

"Amanda! Wait up!" as he raises his hand to stop you.

You chuckled and you say "What's up, Eddie?"

"it's late, I would like to give you a ride home." as he catches up his breath.

"Oh no, Eddie, I'll be fine, please, I can go home by myself." You walk away from him and you continue walking

Eddie follows you and he lets out a frustrated sigh "I insist, I will be worried as hell if you go by yourself, I can't stand it!"

You halt your tracks and look back at him with his doe eyes.

Eddie moves closer to you as he holds your hand "Please?"

You stare at him and look at your hand while he's holding it and who's going to say no to Eddie with those eyes? as you think to yourself.

You sigh and smiled back at him "Alright, fine, Eddie, you can take me home."

Eddie grinned as he still holds your hand while you both going to the parking lot.

"Oh wow" as you look at Eddie's RV Van.

"What is it?" He asks

"Nothing, it's just I like RV's and I didn't expected it." You said while looking at Eddie and back at the van.

He laughs while he opens the door for you and he quickly rans to the driver seat.

He gestures you to put on your seatbelt "Safety first always."

You smiled at him while you put on your seatbelt as he starts up the engine.

The drive home is silent but comfortable, you open the windows down and you love the cold breeze from outside as you peek out your head a little bit.

Eddie watches you as your hair flowing out everywhere and the night sky is beautiful the moonlight shines through the both of you.

"So, uh, direct me which way we're going?" He asks you

"Yeah, right, of course just drive straight until you reached the end of the road and turn right." You pointed out the directions as he follows you

"Wait, you live here?"

"Yes, what is wrong, Eddie?

"I literally live just a few blocks from here on the other side at the back."

"No, you kidding?!"

"No, I am not! I am telling you the truth!"

"See that gate at the end of the road?"

"Yeah"

"Just walk straight on the right side of the road and you'll see my trailer in there."

You look back at him with your lips apart

"it's truly a small world, huh?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Oh wait, we're almost there just one more house." You lean at him and he smell the hint of your perfume and he smirks down at you.

"Here we are, Well I guess this is goodbye." He turns off the engine and he looks back at you with a frown on his face.

"Don't be like that, Eddie, I am not going to die, you always sound like something's bad is going to happen to me." You laughed while looking at him.

He didn't laugh but he just shows a sad smile on you and you look at him with confusion on your eyes and you tell him.

"I'm sorry, but this is getting a lot weird, why are you so being so nice to me?" You asked him

"I just feel, something good around you and I don't know why, I'm sorry, if I was being weird all the time, if I made you uncomfortable." Eddie looks down as he rubs his eyes

"No, please, my bad, don't thought of me anything like that, it's just- you stutter " I wasn't uncomfortable at all ever since I got to know you at school, I'm not used to anything that ever happened today I guess."

He looks back at you, with his eyes full of understanding and he nods while he lets out a smile on the side of his lips

"I admit that my parents are wealthy, I love them, they're nice parents and all." you sigh and look back down and started fidgeting with your rings. Eddie watches you carefully with a concern look on his eyes and he notices your actions which he knows that you're nervous and scared of what he will be thought of you after this but all he thinks to himself that everything is going to be okay.

"I just can't take the pressure from the "rich kids world" as you gestures both of your fingers with the quotation marks while you rolled your eyes, Eddie chuckled as he continues listening to you

"That's why I left it ever since and my parents don't mind it at all, they're very sweet about it and they always prioritize my feelings first if I'm doing okay." He nods

"I'm also sorry, If I keep apologizing to you and with the boys as well, it's been years since I've felt this joyful energy to anyone, if I say something about I love and I get excited while talking about it and they always turn me down like wrecking my vibe off."

"I just wanted to know if you have good intentions with me. It's hard for me to trust anyone today because people always takes advantage of my kindness but it's my personality, you know, you huffed "that's just who I am and I'm proud that I can survive even though sometimes it hurts. You look back at him and you realize how long he's been staring at you since you're talking.

You blush under his gaze on you and he clears his throat "I don't want to hurt you or anything, I swear to my soul, I just wanted to get to know you and maybe even build a relation- uh I mean friendship!" Eddie almost slips off a word there that it made you bursted out a laugh.

Eddie felt amazing when everytime he successfully made you laugh and he doesn't care if he smiles even wider than before while watching you struggling to stop your laughter.

"But don't get me wrong, I'm going to be honest with you, I felt the same way as well."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I felt the same wave of energy when I'm with you as well, I feel like I can tell you everything without worrying about it." You look away from him and stare at the road.

Eddie's eyes widen of what you just said to him.

"it just feels-

"Right"

Eddie cuts you off as you look back at him and you smiled

You look at your watch and it says 8pm and you look back at him and you say "I should better get going. My parents might be worried about me." as you reached for the door handle.

"Wait, no, no- let me!" Eddie quickly gets off the driver seat and he opens the door for you.

You laugh how silly he runs around the van.

You go down while helped you get out of the van carefully he walks with you until you both reached the doorstep and turn around at him.

"Is that too much to process for a whole day of my first day to school?" You asked while you awkwardly chuckled and look back down.

Eddie shakes his head and reaches out to your chin and he tilts it back up and says "No, I would love to listen to you all day and I will be there for you whenever you want or needed someone to talk to." He looks both of your eyes and leans down to kiss your cheek.

You gasp at his action but you smile at him and he rubs your cheek as you let yourself rest it.

"I'm so proud of you even though I don't know the half of it yet, I'm not asking you to tell me everything but if you're just ready, I'll be there for you always, you don't deserve anything that happened to you and don't ever doubt and blame yourself of it, it's not your fault, I don't know why am I felt this way to you I know it's coming all so fast but fuck it breaks my heart seeing you like this, don't ever shut yourself to anyone."

Your eyes burning out from holding back the tears as you nod at him "Thank you so much, Eddie."

He rubs your cheek one last time "Don't mention it, Sweetheart, See you tomorrow."

He walks back but you grab his hand to stop him, he looks back at you with your eyes glistening with tears and you hugged him.

Eddie almost falls how aggressively you embrace him and now this time, this is the time when Eddie left in shock, he almost cried as well cuz nothing ever happened to him like this before he chuckles under his breath as he hugs you back resting his head above you and he kisses it, you embrace him even more and you rest your head on his chest, Eddie can feel you smiling underneath him and he does the same thing as well.

"Now, now how am I supposed to go home if you can't let me go?" He jokes to you while he releases his arms away from you.

And you laughed while you look back up at him as he wipes your tears away with his fingers "Okay, goodnight, Eddie, you can pick me up tomorrow in the morning on the way for school."

"Sure thing, goodnight darling." Eddie says as you both walked away from each other.

but before you close the door you watch him get to his van and he starts the engine.

He looks at you from the window and he waved you goodbye and you waved him back.

You watch him as he droves away.

#Spotify #eddiemunson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson fic #stranger things #stranger things4

9 notes · View notes

walkingstackofbooks · 11 months

Text

DS9 3x24 Shakaar thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!)

(31/05/2023)

There's just something about Sisko playing darts with Miles :3 I don't think we've seen Sisko just socialising casually before? The crew is becoming found family more and more <3

"The new head of the Provisional government ... is Kai Winn." DRAMATIC MUSIC. Valid choice, it's pretty bad

"It has been my observation that one of the prices of giving people freedom of choice is that sometimes they make the wrong choice." Feels. That's too close to home (I can't wait for the 2024 election but I'm also terrified that somehow we STILL won't get the Tories out...)

"It's for Vedek Bareil, ACTUALLY." Oh I love you Kira, I'm sorry you have to talk to this woman.

"He never wanted fame or glory for what he did. As someone who loved him, I'm surprised you didn't that." I HATE HER. YOU THINK YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD MANIPULATOR BUT YOU'RE ACTUALLY JUST A DREADFUL PERSON. And just because someone wasn't seeking game as their motive, doesn't mean you can't recognise their contributions!

Kira calmly walking away because she feels she needs to be diplomatic with Winn and is seconds away from yelling probably. Proud of you <3

Winn is THE most loathesome character. "Vedek Bareil used to tell me that you could be quite persuasive when you put your mind to it, child." Yuck

Ohh, Kira's smile as she hears about her old friends ❤❤❤

Interesting that he calls her Nerys, but she calls him Shakaar

Can't believe Quark actually persuaded Miles to do the darts and not kayak!

"Somehow replacing the arm seems ungrateful." There's something that really gets me about this. I guess it's just allowing war to be so unapologetically ugly?

The wind in Kira's hair is so powerful. She's beautiful.

"Did you explain to Shakaar that you were there on the direct authority of the First Minister?" She loves power so much, and it's so obvious she thinks she should be respected just because of that authority - she doesn't even try to earn it.

"Shakaar sounds like a prideful and arrogant man." SHUT UP, THAT'S WHAT YOU AR-- "It also seems there's no reasoning with him." Oh my GOODNESS, she's clearly just making excuses why is actually his fault she won't talk to him!

"This isn't your fight, Nerys. Go home." "I am home, Shakaar, and I have been lied to by Kai Winn for the last time. She wants a fight, I'll give her one." YES KIRA

"Don't worry, coach. I won't let you down." Idk just Julian smiling at Miles and everyone being so supportive :3

I love that Miles bring "in the zone" is the entire B plot though XD

"Look, I'm in the zone. I just need- ARGH! I just need surgery... :/" Ohhh, you tried, Miles

I'm honestly not sure if they're faking it or not - but Miles is a good actor if so.

"It's been two weeks since I was forced to send the militia into Dahkur Province." FORCED?! FORCED?!!!!

"I'm more than willing to do that, on one condition... I'd like you to provide a Federation security force to take their place." That's... That's not what he's saying though. He's saying any force out there is Not What Is Needed.

"I wasn't aware that our relationship needed solidifying." Sisko calmly rebutting Winn will always be my favourite, he's so good at taking her down in a way that's polite yet savage.

"So, you're refusing my request for aid?" "I suppose I am." I love him <3

"That would be an unfortunate overreaction." Which she knows but thinks she can get away with and make the whole ordeal - and rejecting Federation membership - look perfectly reasonable.

"This is a test, a test by the Prophets. They want to see if I'm worthy [...] I will not fail them. I will stop Shakaar by any means necessary." The scary thing is I actually think she believes that this is The Right And Moral Thing To Do. She's terrifying. And just The Worst.

I really, really love the way this is solved. Real Bajorans not wanting to hurt and fight each other, and recognising they have the power to change something so stupid.

"So this is a coup?" "No, it's a free election." Well, kind of both if you have military backing... But I love Winn not getting her way.

(Why did they give her the power of First Minister before having the elections? But I guess it's good they did, or she wouldn't have had enough rope to hang herself with before her power was solidified with a vote.)

Why is Julian looking so shocked at throwing a twenty? It's funny when pre-augmentation things don't quite make sense and you have to headcanon them away. (I'm saying he wasn't really thinking about what he was doing and didn't realise he'd thrown until the board beeped with success.)

#DS9 Shakaar #DS9 3X24 #andi watches ds9 #WSB

1 note · View note

aronarchy · 2 years

Note

For the ask meme, 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 23, 24. I'd do more but that is all I can remember.

What are your personality disorder(s)? If you have multiple, do you think you have a “main” one?

I have anankastic personality disorder (the DSM likes to call it "OCPD"; I don't think it's a particularly fitting name given how psych currently defines obsessions and compulsions and OCD and those don't particularly fit), NPD, and ASPD. I don't think I have a "main" one per se; some are worse/a larger part of my thinking/feeling/action at different times and they fluctuate. I used to think a lot about which of my disorders I'd get rid of first if I magically had the option one day. My answer has varied greatly over time, and I don't think I can pin down a consistent one. They all suck.

2. Do you have mental illnesses besides personality disorders? Do you think them or your personality disorders affect you more?

I have ADHD (I consider mine a disorder) and C-PTSD. I may also have some degree of OCD symptoms (leftover?), though I've always tried to bury them/ignore that they exist/pretend they're not that bad actually, and I don't think I can really accurately measure how badly it affects me, and trying to do so or just try to explain it in general/talk about how I experience it would require thinking about it which is always unpleasant to some degree. I usually just try to forget they exist.

My ADHD affects my ability to survive under capitalism fulfilling capitalist demands. It impacts my actions and decision-making and perceptions and behaviors 24/7. It's the reason why I know I will never be able to fully do the things I want to do which my anankastia requires me to do and why I fail at everything which requires skills, why I forget everything, why I'm answering this ask from 8/11 a month and a half later because I just Couldn't anytime earlier, why I'm still struggling hard and feel constant existential despair at the overwhelming workload in front of me which will never fully disappear, why I forget everything and why I'm a total mess.

I've only recently come to terms with the fact that I have C-PTSD, mostly because I didn't really understand that all the things I experienced/am experiencing were/are traumatic, and was in heavy denial and didn't really think my symptoms "counted" (was working off very normative models/explanations of what it looks like). For the past few months I've been examining myself more, including my subconscious physical and psychological reactions to certain things and their patterns and my difficulties doing certain things because of certain mental blocks and feelings those produce and how it is in fact woven into every aspect of everything I do too and how it has awful negative effects on me.

I don't know how to say which affects me "more." It would be like comparing apples and oranges. They all affect different aspects of me and my life (a great deal).

4. What would you like mentally ill people without personality disorders to understand?

That 1) you being misdiagnosed with a PD you don't have by saneists isn't an excuse to center yourself in discussions about our PDs rather than us, 2) yes the current psychiatric paradigms and diagnostic criteria are based on statist fallacies conflating current social/external harm/ongoing trauma with inherent harm/trauma and that needs to be corrected, 3) no that doesn't mean our PDs don't exist at all or that none of us would experience inherent distress post-revolution, 4) it does in fact also require paternalism to so arrogantly demand that you know what our minds are like more than we do, 5) in fact everyone who isn't us can shut up with your assumptions about what our minds must be like most of them are laughably simplistic and totally awful and completely off and make huge sweeping generalizations, 6) yes our experiences are in fact nuanced and complex and messy and often not what you expect including our relationships with compassion, empathy, kindness, anger, authoritarianism, entitlement, violence, victimization, and abuse, having them, not having them, perpetrating them, and/or fighting against them, 6) psychiatry is bad actually and please use your critical thinking and learn how to actually critique things even if they're part of the status quo, 7) no you cannot in fact predict with 100% accuracy someone's internal psychological profile based on some external behaviors you need to unlearn your impulse to do so and following the threads of your beliefs to their origins in carceral culture and start holding authoritarians accountable, 8) please learn what a disorder is, no it's not "when someone is abnormal," no it's not "when someone hurts others," 9) it costs you $0 to not use ableist/saneist slurs or insults or armchair-diagnosing there are literally dozens of other actually accurate things you could say, 10) someone fighting back against you oppressing/victimizing them is not "evil boundary-violating" or "gaslighting" or "abuse."

5. What would you like people with your personality disorder(s) to understand?

Fuck psych. They'll only get worse. Not worth it. Your instincts are right about them being full of bullshit and unable to understand much less help. Learn and cope and heal outside of authorities' radar.

Also, anankastia is incredibly misunderstood and erased, even among other people with PDs, and it sucks, and no one ever talks about it ever, and the few people who do talk about it usually just discuss more shallow surface-level versions of it which I have never been able to fully relate to at all given (what I feel is) the severity of my symptoms and their messiness and how deeply it is woven into every aspect of my life and mind and how tightly they all lock into each other in a way I don't think I can extricate myself from ever (pre-transhumanism, at least). I would appreciate more nuanced discussions and acknowledgment and advocacy for cases like mine (the hopeless ones that don't get happy-ending stories about the magical successes of DBT turning their entire life around and fixing all their problems).

Also, you don't have to be an edgelord to get NPD and ASPD destigmatized or accepted. You don't have to brag about being pro abuse or abusing others or assaulting others or dangerous or whatever. You do have agency and nuanced experiences. Also, it's okay to be cringe, and if you cringe at pastel uwu positivity then it's not for you but that doesn't mean it's objectively bad, wrong, or harmful. Also, fakeclaiming others/training yourself to hyper-scrutinize/fakeclaim others is not going to make you seem more valid/real/correct in the eyes of the neurotypicals. Best to deconstruct that early. Also, the pushback against "allowing minors to dx with PDs" is entirely based on numerous pseudoscientific and ageist fallacies which would appear obviously incorrect if you used a single moment of genuine critical thinking and analysis.

6. What would you want a mentally ill person who’s really struggling today to know?

I don't know. That there are people out there in the world fighting for liberation? That some of us have hopes and dreams and plans of totally eradicating our unwanted pain? Options for direct action, ways to contact people who can get you out of an abusive/unsafe situation? That trying is still worth it? That later/tomorrow will be better? That your brain is wrong and everything's okay and you're still okay? You're right and you're valid? I don't know.

23. What are your hardest mental illness symptoms?

When I was 6-11 years old I would probably say the anankastia, the absolute total overwhelming need for [X] to be [Y] way or to do [A] in [B] way despite that being physically impossible and the overwhelming fear of that happening and the intense pain/discomfort which would follow, and the intense pain/discomfort if I did do it correctly anyway because it was time-consuming and exhausting and extremely stressful trying to get it perfectly right all the time and punishing myself if I didn't get it exactly right and arguing with myself trying to figure out what Counted as "Right" in the first place.

When I was 12/13 I would probably say the NPD symptoms which were already showing up and the total paranoia of being criticized/being viewed as less "Good" at all in any way and going to drastic and hugely time-consuming measures trying to prevent that and trying to perfect that the need for which caused me intense constant stress and fear, and being criticized for harming others in an attempt to preserve my own self-esteem/sense of superiority which I need(ed) above all else and caused a major collapse in me and total despair and I couldn't cope with that, and I could hardly cope with any of my other mistakes/failures either.

Or maybe my intense self-hatred regarding my body influenced by my other disorders to cause a horrible eating disorder for several years(?) (recovered now dw).

In 2021 I would say "my overwhelming feeling of need to hurt/abuse/exploit/do injustices to others in order to get things right/feel psychological/emotional fulfillment/not-empty-and-feeling-like-nothing's-there and feeling like I can't/shouldn't hold to my ethical principles (what ethical principles?)/not considering the feelings of others and the horrible shit that would result from my plans which I singlemindedly pursued because I need it so badly and feel like I have no other option and if I don't do them I have nothing and oh shit things actually have consequences."

Right now? I'm not sure. I'm even more of a mess, and everything's too hard, and the last few nights I've successively had breakdowns after feeling significant existential despair. I'm still way better than I was in 2021 though, that was a total trainwreck.

24. What do you do to get over mental health slumps?

I cross my fingers and wait until I get lucky and they go away on their own. Apart from that, meds. My "coping skills" are nonexistent.

#ask #anon #late answer #ask games #pd #ocpd #anankastia #npd #aspd #ocd #c-ptsd #adhd #personal #about iris #iris's mental health #ok to rb

1 note · View note

tyunni · 2 years

Text

##__ reaction to someone flirting with you - enhypen edition.

enhypen masterlist | library

a/n: this is actually so short... i haven't written short reactions in quite a while now! i rlly don't wanna publish these but i need to work on my posting schedule and this is the only thing i've got for now 💀💀

pairings: ot7 x gn!reader. genre: fluff, crack. warnings: cursing, not proofread, mentioned "getting in your pants" during jake's part, jungwon is a only a teeny tiny bit mean. wc: 0.9k+.

HEESEUNG • 희승

gets so confused, because he's clearly holding your hand right now, it's obvious that you two are dating... so why are they still flirting with you?

doesn't know what to do. just stands there all stiff, eyes widened in shock and lips forming a thin line as he tries his best to think of a way to get you out of this situation.

would most likely wait for the person to stop trying, but if he sees you become visibly uncomfortable he squeezes your hand to reassure you and finally steps in:

"you're making my s/o uncomfortable, they're not interested. just leave."

JAY • 제이

he gives me major "i'm just gonna sit here and laugh at their failed attempts to steal my s/o until they get the message and leave" vibes

and he does exactly that, his gaze is set upon the person who's been trying to get your number for at least 10 minutes now.

and the look on his face... phew, if looks could kill! he's eyeing the other up and down, silently judging them and their poor choice of not only pick up lines, but clothing as well.

shuts down all of their attempts by either shaking his head in disapproval, scoffing, chuckling or just simply saying "no."

the person probably gets uncomfortable and/or embarrassed and walks away

JAKE • 제이크

oh he is having NONE of it.

jake is usually a very chill person, opting to resolve problems he has with other people calmly. not this time tho-

especially not after every time he tried to say something he'd get cut off by the person flirting with you, it annoyed him quite a bit. and he thought it was pathetic of them to think that you'd go for someone who has no common sense and respect for other people.

now sim jaeyun has lost his cool. it was definitely a sight to see for both you and the other person because jake never loses his cool.

"listen here you weirdo. first you walk over to me and my s/o while we're having a peaceful date and try getting in their pants even though it's quite clear that i'm their boyfriend. then you cut me off when i try to explain that they're dating me. who the hell do you think you are? don't you feel embarrassed?"

SUNGHOON • 성훈

confused part 2. he's not the one for PDA and he isn't very touchy in public, but it's quite obvious that he's your boyfriend just by the lovestruck look on his face... well at least he likes to thinks so.

tries to stay calm but you can see that he's obviously annoyed by the persons audacity to even come near you. he's definitely angry but tries to hold himself back so he doesn't make a scene.

"okay, enough. now if you'll excuse us we have places to be, let's go MY S/O."

literally yells the last part to emphasize on the fact that you two are indeed dating. gets a tad bit insecure after and is much bigger on PDA the entire day because he doesn't want to sit through the same thing again.

SUNOO • 선우

the second he sees them approach you, he already has a bad feeling. and when he notices the way they aren't taking their eyes off you, before they even manage to get a word out he gives them a death glare.

the other person seems to be unfazed though, but two can play that game.

first he starts off small, he intertwines your fingers together and waits for the person to notice. when they don't, he moves onto level 2: kissing your cheek. for someone who can't stop looking at you, they sure as hell are blind to not notice what he just did.

and when the other doesn't budge after sunoo plants a kiss on your lips, he gets frustrated.

"ugh, can't you take a hint?! i literally just kissed them on the lips. they're taken, go away."

JUNGWON • 정원

like jay, he just stares the person down with a judgemental look on his face. the only difference is that jungwon is far more vocal when it comes to their horrible flirting skills.

he's a bit mean BUT IT'S SO FUNNY-

"this is getting painful to watch." "'did it hurt when you fell from heaven?'... really? that one is literally older than my grandmother." "please, just stop trying already! even if they didn't have a boyfriend, with such shitty pick up lines like yours they wouldn't settle for you. step up your game."

with a dramatic scoff he takes your hand in his and walks away from the person, grumbling something about how you're his and his only.

NI-KI • 니키

tries to act all tough but in reality he's falling apart on the inside- not because he's scared they're going to steal you away or anything, he's just... completely clueless at the moment.

looks at you for help, but when he sees that you're just as confused as he is, riki cracks his knuckles (literally), clears his throat and straightens his back in hopes of scaring the person away.

which kind of works because... ni-ki is very tall and is quite literally towering over them. so they're definitely a bit intimidated. he takes advantage of that and tells them to leave.

"listen, i know they're very pretty/handsome, but they already have a boyfriend and it's me."

is so glad that they left you two alone because his voice started wavering near the end and he didn't want the person to think he felt threatened by them. literally lets out a sigh of relief along with you.

©tyunni please do not copy, translate or repost my work.

taglist: @gyuury @jaysstarz @junityy @uygmoeb @sunghun @krewified @eternallyhyucks @pshjae @marknaeroni @feyregels @gyuuss @koishua @kac-chowsballs @echo-of-a-writer @w3bqrl @liz-riz @duolingofanaccount @goldenhypen @sungniverse @enhasimpeu (bold means i can't mention you, if you want to be a part of my taglist fill this out!!)

2K notes · View notes

stargazer-balladeer · 3 years

Text

Jealousy [Genshin Impact]

Characters Included: Aether, Albedo, Childe, Scaramouche, Xiao & Zhongli

Notes: Ngl,, this is a mess 🤣🤣 just like my mind- ;;w;; hope ya’ll like this!

Reader’s Gender: Neutral

Warning: swearing in Scara’s part :(

Tagging: @genshin-obsessed

Aether isn’t a jealous-type at all, he trusts you that you won’t go behind his back. When he does get jealous, it’ll be either because he’s tired or someone interrupted his precious time with you or he just got back from his journey. But the one thing he hates the most is someone interrupting your date.

His time with you is precious, every hour, every minute, every second, he cherishes them all. After all, he doesn’t know how much time he has, so he tries to make up every second in time with you. So if someone tries to interrupt his precious time with you, he’s pissed and pouty-

He’ll have a pout on his face as he glares at the person talking to you, wanting them to go away already. He doesn’t care if you reprimand him for scaring that person away, he doesn’t care if that person was important (like Jean or Diluc-), they're all the same in his eyes. When that person goes away, either scared or amused (Kaeya), Aether would immediately bring you into a hug as he peppers your neck with light kisses.

If Aether sees that you are having fun with someone else, he can’t help but let his insecurity rise up. What if you left him for that person? What would he do with the shattered pieces of his heart? He’ll have a dark and sad look on his face, like a kicked puppy- he’ll walk away with his head hanging low. You better realize that Aether is gone or I swear I’ll--

Overall, his definition of jealousy is just being pissed by someone-

“Tsk. That person really has the nerve to try to take away my time with you… I’m not jealous.”

Albedo, at first, would be confused at the sudden foreign feeling inside him when he sees you getting friendly with the other Knights. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling at that moment. Should he go there and drag you away? Why the sudden urge of kissing you in front of them? Why is his chest twisting painfully inside him? He really doesn’t understand-

He would consult Sucrose about it, and Sucrose concluded that he might be experiencing “Jealousy”. At first, he rejected the idea, saying it was a childish thing to experience. And that he has no time for that. But as the days pass, he soon realizes that Sucrose was indeed correct.

Whenever someone would approach you, he would be staring (more like glaring) at them in the distance. His eyes would narrow if he sees that person casually touching you. But Albedo would only intervene if someone took it too far or if he sees that you’re uncomfortable.

Albedo would never tell you that he’s jealous. It is kinda hard to see him jealous but the slightest change of his eyes and how his lips quirk into a dissatisfied frown made you realize that he’s jealous. Also, his mood sours if he’s jealous. He might ignore you for a while, don’t worry, he’s not mad! He’s just a bit pouty because he was just right there, why were you talking to that person?

Overall, won’t admit he’s jealous and might ignore you for a while.

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you go back to that person? It seems like you two were having a pleasant conversation after all.”

Childe, similarly to Aether, is not a jealous type of person. Even if you try your best to make him jealous, it wouldn’t work. He can always see through your plan, so making him jealous purposely is always gonna fail.

But here’s the thing. Childe is good at hiding his true emotions, the mask he has now was carefully carved and shaped by him. So he’s good at hiding his true motive, good at hiding his emotions, good at hiding his thoughts. This means that you wouldn’t know that he’s jealous. Though he’s still rarely jealous. He has a high pride towards himself that he wouldn’t get replaced easily. If there was ever a competition, he would happily compete with them for your heart- (competition and fights are what he lives for-)

He wouldn’t get jealous of you simply hanging out with someone, but if he sees that you’re having fun with the person. His jealousy meter is rising, he would hide in the shadows as he watches you and the person happily talking with each other. Once his jealousy meter reaches a certain meter, he would casually appear beside you and drag you away from that person while exclaiming that you two have something to do.

Like I said earlier, even if he was jealous, you can’t tell. So it’s 9 out of 10 chances that you were able to see his jealousy. If you tease him about it, he would just shut you up with a kiss- Also, there’s also this 50% chance that he’ll make out with you in front of the person. And he wouldn’t stop, he would just continue. You wouldn’t notice the person leaving, too caught up in your makeout session. When you two pull apart, he has a cocky smile on his face.

Overall, secretly jealous but wouldn’t show it-

“There you are, sweetheart! I was searching for you everywhere! Come on! We have something to do! If you’ll excuse us, stranger, I’m going to have to steal away my (princess/prince)~”

It’s very obvious that he’s a jealous/possessive type. He would glare at anyone who dares to even go near you. No one can steal you away while he’s with you. Those who are stupidly brave (Childe-) will get zap by his Electro as Scaramouche drags you away while huffing.

But he’s like this because he never has anyone to care for him before, your love is the only thing he has. Never has he experienced being loved before. He was despised by his fellow Harbingers and Fatui. He was hated by almost everyone he met. No one showed him any sort of affection unless they were simply using him for their own gain. You, who was undoubtedly naive and stupid to trust a Fatui Harbinger, manage to not only befriend him but make him fall in love with you.

He gets jealous easily. Even if you two are the same gender, he’ll get jealous. He’ll immediately appear by your side and whisk you away, ignoring your complaints and the stare of the person. Sometimes, if someone is flirting with you, he’ll make out with you in front of them. Even though he doesn’t like kissing you in public, he will make this time an exception. The flustered look on the person’s face brings him such satisfaction-

Scaramouche would glare at that person who you’re talking to, doesn’t matter if you were the one who started the conversation, he would be seething with rage. How dare they talk to you?! Your attention and time should be spent on him! You might need to talk to him about his rather alarming behavior. After that, he’ll mellow down a bit. But that doesn’t stop his glares on that person.

Overall,, even though he manages his anger issues, he’s still jealous if you spend time (even if it’s only a minute) on another person-

“I told you to stop associating yourself with those low-life people, my beloved. You shouldn’t waste your breath on them……. Of course, I’m fucking jealous! You should’ve seen how they eyed you! I wanted to kill them on the spot for looking at you-” (chill scara- do you want some snickers-?)

Xiao wouldn’t admit it but he’s jealous. He would rather die than ever admit that he’s jealous of you hanging out with your fellow mortals. Especially if you are on your way to meet him and a person starts to talk to you, somewhere, Xiao is glaring at the person and you are talking with a small pout on his face. He might not appear to you at all unless you decided to give him some Almond Tofu.

Similar to Scaramouche, he never felt love before and doesn’t care much about it. He thought it was weak to love somebody, imagining giving everything up just for one person? Gross. But when Xiao met you for the first time, he thought time stopped. At that moment, he knew he would make you his. You manage to capture his heart just by appearing in front of him, so take full responsibility-

You can immediately tell if he’s jealous because he has a scary face on with an (adorable) pout. He’ll glare half-heartedly at you, grumbling that you should go back to whoever that was. Even though he acts like a baby at that moment, he was just insecure. You were a mortal, he was an Adepti. You can die any time while he lived for millennia now. Wouldn’t you prefer to date a mortal like yourself? One who will grow old with you, one who isn’t as cold-hearted as him? You might need to reassure him again-

Xiao trusts you, yes, but he doesn’t trust the mortals much. He actually prefers if you spend your time with someone like the Traveller, one he knows and trusts. He’s just being wary and cautious. Don’t worry. Even if someone decides to corner you in an alleyway or somewhere, Xiao would be there immediately, raging with fury-

Overall, an overprotective, insecure baby that gets jealous if you don’t notice him-

“Did that mortal harm you? I saw how they grab you.. They should pay for their sins- how dare they hurt someone like you.”

Zhongli is also not much of a jealous-type. He trusts you whole-heartedly and allows you to talk to anyone freely. He would only be alarmed if that person makes you uncomfortable or decides to harm you in any way. But other than that, he lets you be. As long as you return home in one piece.

But he would be annoyed if someone (its always Childe-) decides to interrupt your date. He prefers having alone time with you because he is constantly busy with work. He would not-so-subtly try to shoo away that person. But if you intervene and let them stay, he decides to let them be. But be prepared to have another date tomorrow to make-up the date ruined.

Even if he’s jealous, you couldn’t tell. He just his usual face on, with a rather malice smile on his face. If you look away for even a second, the person you’re talking to is already gone when you return your head. You blink, a bit offended at that person for suddenly leaving in the middle of the conversation. While Zhongli besides you just pat your head. (shh.. You don’t need to know that he scared off that person,, it’s our little secret-)

BUT! His jealousy will only show if you spend the entire day with another person, and completely ignoring him- when you return home, prepare for your punishment for spend your day with another person and not giving him his daily dose of kisses-

Overall, a rather calm guy that rarely gets jealous

“How rude. You’ve been ignoring me the whole day, and yet you spend your entire time with another. I’m your lover, am I not? And to add to the wound, you forgot to kiss me. Oh well, guess it’s time to get them now.”

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page || [x] Liyue Page || [x] Fatui Harbingers Page

#im sorry if this seems rushed #WHAHSHSHSHSH #MY MIND IS A MESS AND IDK WHY SHSHH #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #aether #aether x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #childe #childe x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader

2K notes · View notes

huenjin · 4 years

Text

the study of relationships.

summary — college team's volleyball captain and your roommate-cum-best friend, hwang hyunjin argues with you over guys being better than girls in relationships to help you out of one. or in which hyunjin is in love with you for years now and he finally decides that maybe he doesn't want that best friend tag anymore.

pairing — hwang hyunjin x reader, ft. minho

genre — fluff, angst | volleyball!au, f2l!au, roommates!au

rating — nc-17

word count — 15k words

note — kinda excited to post this very long plotted fic on here because first long fic for skz !!! this fic is brought to you by hq, hyunjin's long blond hair and b me mv that we never got. please please do send me constructive criticism so that i can improve on my writing for this community. happy reading!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa."

Your best friend, Hwang Hyunjin yells at the top of his voice, pitch lower in precision as you open the door and slam it shut forcefully, the sound loud enough to bounce to him clearly. Your feet storm hard against the wooden flooring of your apartment, sound bouncing off from that again and Hyunjin pauses his video game to look at you.

It's a familiar sight. Hyunjin sighs.

"Hey," he tries catching your attention but he fails. You storm into your room, hair flailing behind you in your anger, eyes blurry with the angst you feel that wraps slowly around your heart. You walk into the room and slam the door shut, so loud that a chip of wood breaks from the top of the door and falls down.

"Jesus Christ! Y/N—" Hyunjin yells to no one in particular. However, he drops his controller to the side of the couch and jumps to his feet only after pausing his game. He takes big strides to your room and in high contrast to his rash movements, his knocking on your door is very gentle.

"Can I come in?" He asks, scratching the door absentmindedly. He presses his ear and head against the door to hear a response but all he hears are your soft cries and it makes him sad.

"Y/N—"

"Go away, Hyunjin!"

"Y/N, let me in," he stresses, his leg kicking the air slightly, dangling before that. "I—"

"You're going to make fun of me."

"Will not." Hyunjin knows where this stems from and he won't deny. However, at this minute, he just wants to be there for you. Teasing could wait for an hour or so after you've calmed down. "So please?"

You hum and Hyunjin waits for a sign of protest. When he hears none, he takes it as an approval to open the door and the sight before him hurts him ever so slightly.

You are wrapped in a cocoon of your white blanket and your head is buried in the sheets outside, not ready to look up at your best friend. He frowns as he walks towards you, letting himself to sit by your side. He stretches his arm out and stops when you declare,

"I'm a world class dumpee."

"You are," he shrugs, voice tainted with a slight tease and you look up at him, glaring with your red, puffy eyes. You try shoving him but the cocoon you are wrapped in slightly falls forward too in impact. Hyunjin laughs and stretches both his arms forward to prevent you from falling forwards.

You pout, mumbling with a voice that is strained and is your proof of the urge to cry, "You promised you wouldn't."

"I'm your best friend," he shrugs and pushes your body wrapped in the thick blankets backwards, your head hitting against the pillow. A soft whine leaves your lips, followed by an oomph. "You knew I was going to tease you at the very first opportunity."

And then Hyunjin pounces on you, tickling your sides over the covers and your tickle sensitive being rushes in sensation as you laugh your heart out, chest heavy and mind focussing only on your best friend that you forget about the boy who broke up with you an hour back.

"Stop," you laugh. "Hyunjin," you whine. "Stop, you idiot," you laugh again. "I'm going to kill you—"

Hyunjin's laughter fills the air along with yours. In your perspective through your watery eyes, you see a boy with no worries and all smiles and you want to be like that. You desperately want to be like that. You push your wrapped body upwards to shove Hyunjin to the side and it works. He laughs, slowly receding with yours and he lets out a loud relieved sigh as he looks at your face with less creases and tears that now fall due to laughter.

"Hey," Hyunjin says and you turn your head to face him. His face is rigid, the childish gleam that he had just a while back long gone.

"Yeah?"

He sits up, running a hand through his hair and folding his arms soon after. "The guy was a jerk," he tells, helping you up. His hand finds the end of the blanket and unwraps it slowly from your being. "He was a mighty jerk, okay?"

"He is your teammate, Lee Minho," you stare, dead into his eyes and he shrugs.

"I know," he sighs before shrugging, giving you a nonchalant look. "What was it this time? Let me guess, he broke up with you for no reason again."

You hit the blankets that cover your thigh hard and send imaginary daggers in Hyunjin's way, "Yeah! I just don't understand why he'd break up with me."

"Uh, possibly because—"

"Is it because I'm on like close friend terms with everyone in the college volleyball team? I mean, Lee Minho always said dating—"

"Dating you would be hard, Y/N," Hyunjin continues, mocking your ex-boyfriend's voice. "You hang out with so many guys and all your best friends are dudes that it makes me jealous," Hyunjin pauses, placing his hands flat on the bed from behind as he leans back. "Ah, Lee Minho, that bastard. He always did say that to you."

You look down, fidgeting with your fingers and you roar out in anger. Hyunjin looks at you amused until you say, "Why can't guys be more like girls?"

"Excuse me?"

Hyunjin's eyebrow is raised and he laughs mockingly. He lifts his arms from behind, stretches his back before sitting up straight. He kicks his legs and raises it upwards to sit cross legged, looking straight at you and laughs again. "You are totally kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not, Hyunjin," your eyebrows furrow. "The reason behind most, if not all, break-ups is the guy."

Hyunjin agrees with you deep down. Okay, maybe not completely but at least a ninety percent and that's a good one. However, he knows how competitive you are and if there's something that can get your head out of this post break up blues, it's this.

A competition. And so just to entice you a little, he sneers, "If anything, girls should be more like guys."

"Bitch, no," you laugh, head falling back at the sheer stupidity that rolls out from your best friend's mouth. "Men are so conceited that they had to make a whole word for treating women equal."

"Not all men simp. Plus, it's an AAVE and that people should not use it. In my defense, I've treated you like a guy my whole life," he shrugs. Lies. Lies. Lies he spews out endlessly because at one point, without him even knowing, things did change and he's seen you as a woman; as a woman he now has feelings for.

Hyunjin, to prove his point, hits you on his back like you've seen him do with all his teammates and your torso bends forward from your hips on impact. "See!" He stretches his arms, tattoos on display in the loose half sleeved black top he wears and you wince, stretching your hand back to rub only for Hyunjin to stop laughing quickly and rub your back, mumbling, "Sorry."

"Hyunjin," you shrug, mumbling, trying to guide your best friend. "Don't ever use the not all men tag, please."

He slaps a hand over his mouth, realising his error, again apologising and you stretch your hand forward quickly to protest, "No, no," you tell, "You don't have to apologise. I just hope you know how it sounds."

"I do," he falls back, lying down against your mattress. "I do and I hate that I accidentally said it."

You follow suit, and fall on the bed, hair splaying around, some falling on Hyunjin's face. He groans, moving the hair away and whining, "It got into my mouth, ew." You laugh.

Hyunjin speaks out, staring at the ceiling, "Whose fault is it that a relationship goes astray?"

"Still going to say the men," you look at the same spot he stares at. "They're—"

"It's a war."

"See!" You exclaim. "This is the issue with men. They cut us off all the time."

Hyunjin laughs, hand stretching out to hold your wrist to soothe you down and mumbling another apology, he continues, "This is a battle, Y/N; a battle that's aged long and has never come to a conclusion. The battle—"

"Get to the point."

"Look who cut me off now."

"Touché."

"Anyhow," he continues. "The battle between men and women."

"You definitely sounded like a prepubescent boy there," you look at Hyunjin. His skin is so clear, you notice, making a mental note to steal his skin care products later. He turns a second later to face you and he nods, "Don't care. Definitely going to win this."

"You wish," you let out a condescending laugh. "I'm going to beat your ass, Hyunjin."

"Kinky," he smiles that stupid, toothy grin of his, "I likey."

"You gross pubescent boy," you shove at his arms only for him to quickly hold your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours in the midst of the squabble. You let him, still laughing lightly, lungs light and mind free from all the sad thoughts.

"I see that I've got an upgrade."

"You did."

You're about to thank Hyunjin for this small gesture that probably seems to be nothing when his phone rings from the other room. The scary unexpected track to Tokyo Ghoul's opening – Unravel – that you can't help but accept that you've grown to like, plays.

He lets go of your hand and jolts upwards, jumping off the bed. A small whine leaves your lips unexpectedly and Hyunjin smiles at that. He pulls up the blankets over your body that he shifted, mumbling, "You should sleep early. You had a tough day."

"No," you whine yet again, "Let's talk more—" His phone rings louder, the scream part of the ringtone jolting you up and your hand falls on your chest in shock. "Hate when your phone does."

"And yet you sing along to it," he sings, humming the tune.

"Pfft," you scoff, holding onto the blanket, scrunching it in your grip. "Go. It's probably about the practise match against Yonsei University."

He hums in agreement, folding the blanket again carefully, right below your neck, his cold hands brushing against your clavicle and the temperature difference runs a shiver down your spine.

Hyunjin switches off the light as he walks out, gently closing the door shut and you watch your best friend throwing a small smile at you before leaving. Did you really deserve all this care? Perhaps not.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, dashes out to get the phone before the caller cuts the call in frustration. He's definitely not spending the money to call back whoever it is. That shit is expensive. He jumps a couple of steps and grabs his phone, accepting the call before looking at the name of the caller.

"Hyunjin…" It's Lee Minho. "Can you come over?"

"I really want to throw a punch at you, you bastard."

And Hyunjin does. Virtually, of course. Over the game they are playing. He couldn't afford to injure a fellow teammate when the preliminaries are right around the corner.

"Bro," Minho sighs. "Can you go easy on me?"

His game character hits Minho's again, the energy bar of the other drastically going down on the screen. Hyunjin can't stop. The frustration that he has pent up over the last hour after seeing you cry and crumble over being dumped by his other friend drives him to the edge and he delivers another punch. Minho's character dramatically collapses as soon as the energy bar is empty and he drops the console by his side, pressing his back against the sofa, arms wrapped against his chest, pouting.

"I—"

"Go on," Hyunjin glares at him. "You better have a good explanation."

Minho runs a hand through his hair and sitting up straight, turning his torso to face Hyunjin, he tells, "I don't."

"You're lucky that we have a match soon, else you'd be six feet underground," Hyunjin sighs, throwing his hands over his head and folding it behind. "I can't believe you did that to Y/N."

"I fell out of love with her," Minho says. He doesn't dare to look at Hyunjin because he fears if the glares would actually result in him six feet underground. "Can't that be the only reason?"

Hyunjin chuckles, moreso at himself than at his friend, mumbling under his breath so low that Minho thinks it's just him humming, "Is it possible to fall out of love with her?"

He wishes Lee Minho could tell him how.

Hyunjin stands up, patting his denim jeans and looking at Minho, he warns, eyebrows furrowing, "I'll help her out with this. Just don't be a jerk and start dating in like two days."

"I—" Hyunjin glares at him. "Fine."

"Practice at seven," he adds and grabs the key of his motorcycle from the table before him. "Don't be late and act normal around Y/N."

"Fine, sir," Minho rolls his eyes. He won't admit it ever but the man warning him could be the reason for his breakup. That and his insecurity and fear of you cheating on him. But it's mostly Hwang Hyunjin. He knows how he feels even if you didn't.

Hyunjin walks out of Minho's house, closing the door on his way out and getting on his motorcycle, he rides back home to you. Just as he had promised you.

He opens the door to your room as soon as he enters his house, removing his shoes and placing it to the side, only to find his ears listening to the soft snores that let free from your lips. Carefully he walks towards you, his thumb and forefinger holding your chin lightly and tilting your head upwards to help you breathe properly.

He pauses for a minute just to watch you. Your eyebrows that you dislike so much just because according to you, it's not thick enough. He loves it however, even though you would never listen to him. Your eyelashes cast a gentle shadow on your high cheekbones and he gasps because you're so beautiful. You're so near to him and yet so far.

He bends forward, pushes your fringes to the side and places a soft kiss against your forehead, mumbling the words he wishes he could tell you straight up. Even if he did, you'd probably laugh and scoff at him.

"Beautiful girl," his lips graze the skin by your forehead, "You are a fighter. You have always been a fighter. You are stronger than you think. You are braver than you believe. Every challenge that life has thrown at you, you've conquered every obstacle that has been placed in front of you. You've overcome every single one of them. You are unstoppable and unbreakable and right now, you are filled with more faith than you have ever been."

Hyunjin pulls away, softly caressing the hair by the side of your face, "So please believe in yourself. You're worth so much love. So much of it, Y/N."

"The jerseys came!"

Bang Chan screams, a huge grin on his face as he opens the door for you. He runs to Felix and holds onto his shoulders before jumping up and down in joy. He is so delighted. "It looks so good, dude."

Hyunjin smiles, running towards you and helping you with the cardboard box. "It's alright," you mumble. "I'm the manager. It's my job."

"Pfft," he scoffs. "And I'm your best friend. It's my job." He picks the huge box that covers your entire upper half, easily and places it down before the coach and the team.

Jisung rushes to your side, nudging you with his elbow, "We've got a pretty good manager." He bends down and rips open the box, taking his jersey in his hand, "Number 13, bitches. Nothing shows what an amazing libero I am like the number most feared." You laugh.

"Number 10 isn't that bad, I guess." You hear Minho's voice break through the cluster of voices and your movements still. You turn your head to look at the brown haired boy who towers over you, wearing a smile so pretty that your heart still skips a beat.

"Hey, Y/N," he smiles. "Thanks for bringing this over."

"Uh," you fidget with your fingers, averting your gaze everywhere else besides at Minho. "I guess. It's my job, yeah."

Hyunjin notices. He always does. The boy runs towards you with his jersey. Number 1 printed in big behind. The setter brings the jersey so close to your face that it's buried in the fresh opened shirt. "Number 1, of course," he laughs, scrunching the shirt in his hand as he raises both his arms above.

"Oh, shut up, Jinnie," you laugh.

"Yeah, shut up, Jinnie," Jisung echoes. The middle blocker, though not the tallest in stature, is excellent at his position and has the biggest love-hate relationship with your best friend. He folds his arms and mocks Hyunjin.

Hyunjin places his right hand down on Jisung's head, ruffling his hair after pressing down on it. He scolds the older boy, "Don't call me Jinnie. Y/N's the only one who gets to call me that."

"Stop gathering around people," The captain claps his hands together to gather all of your attention. You quickly rush to his side and he smiles at you warmly, before looking at his team and glaring at each of them as they gather around him. "Yonsei University was kind enough to arrange a practice match with us thanks to—"

"Y/N," Jisung shouts, pivoting his arms by their sockets before lifting them both high above his head, cheering for you.

"Don't cut me off, Han," the coach shoots daggers at him, frowning visibly at the disobedience. "One more time and you're running around the gymnasium twenty times."

Jisung groans, only after winking at you. You chuckle under your breath, covering your face with the notepad in your hand. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, nudging Jisung to 'keep it in his pants' in the scariest voice ever. You could feel the dark clouds around Hyunjin, the aura darkening for a split minute before he breaks out into a huge smile as he looks at you.

The coach instructs out commands; strategies to help the team win against Yonsei. Moves that he's studied after watching their matches. You know this because you watched Hyunjin do the same at home. He does it at odd timings though.

You would wake up at three in the morning to grab a glass of water and you'd find your best friend squatting in front of the television as he watches every single one of Yonsei's matches. He wouldn't listen to you telling him to go to sleep because, "Being the captain is hard, Y/N. The whole team's banking on me to set the ball perfectly at the right time. I can't..."

And you understand. You understand the worries that go around in his head, the anxiety of being the best because he's no genius. He got to the top, made a name for him all thanks to his hard work and if he needs to keep it — he won't have it any other way — he swears to god that he would practise and study till he drops dead. Hwang Hyunjin loves volleyball that much.

So, you do what any friend would do.

You would make two cups of coffee, one for him and one for yourself. You sit next to him and watch the match with him. Your head lays back against the soft material of the sofa, just watching Hyunjin's eyes fixed on the screen, studying each movement of every player, gasping occasionally at how the setter of Yonsei's team leans his head back to decoy the opposite team only to dump the ball.

You don't remember much from that night because you fall asleep way too quick in the silence and in the presence of a focussed Hyunjin, your cup of coffee half empty. You don't remember anything from that night besides the fact that you woke up in your bed the next morning, or more like, Hyunjin waking you up the next morning because you overslept. Either ways, you were back in your bed and for that, you were grateful.

And as soon as the coach is done with the instructions, the team members scramble before splitting themselves into two groups, first to do serves and then perfect shots and finally, have a practice match.

You sit next to the coach, watching each and every member. That's what the previous manager told you to do. To observe. That's what the manager must do. To observe so well that you know each member well enough to know how their mind works, how their personalities are and who they truly want to be.

This is exactly why you can't seem to ever hate Lee Minho. Because you've seen him on the court, at his very best.

He's the best darn middle blocker you've ever seen. He doesn't tower that much over people with his height but when he jumps, lifting off his feet, he is as good as a wall cemented and strong before the opponent. He has only got better with every practice match and you realise that he wants to be better. And that's how he truly is. The constant urge to do better than the person he was before and perhaps, to Minho, you are someone he wants to leave behind in the past.

There's no one to blame here and you realise that it's a lot better if you accept the truth before it hurts you more than it should.

But then, in a second, Hyunjin takes your attention away whole heartedly. The boy arches his body so beautifully as he sets the ball for Jisung who slams the ball over the net with such force that leaves you gaping, notebook slamming your thigh. The coach stands up, his heels slamming the ground first before his toes do and he is as stunned as you are, eyes wide.

Funnily, Jisung's surprised too.

"We did it!" He says slowly, his words gradually making sense to him and when it does, he rushes to him, holding his shoulders and jumping ecstatically, "Hwang Hyunjin, we fucking did it!"

"When did you guys practice that?" The coach cuts the commotion short with his question. Hyunjin turns to face him along with Jisung, scratching the back of his head. Jisung is so overjoyed that he rushes to the coach, "Today morning! It sounded delusional but we pulled it off, coach."

You look at Hyunjin, who turns his attention back to you as soon as the coach is scrambling off to tell more instructions to Jisung on how he should time it a little bit earlier to hit it with even more impact. You smile, giving him a thumbs up and Hyunjin laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Are you guys finally dating now that Minho's out of the picture?" Chan nudges Hyunjin. The man stumbles a step forward on impact only to quickly look at the older with eyes so wide that he wonders if it were possible.

"What?" He splutters the words out, voice haphazard after the cough.

"Everyone in the team thinks you guys should," Chan shrugs and Hyunjin's face morphs into that of seriousness almost instantly and shoots the other male with, "Did Minho hear of this?"

"Perhaps," Chan catches the ball Felix throws at him. The coach claps his hands to bring the attention back to him, barking out orders to resume the game. Chan pats Hyunjin's shoulders, "You know what we always tell, Hyunjin, in this sport—"

"Take the shot when you see the opportunity."

"Exactly."

"Or someone's going to block again," Chan sniggers and looks at Minho, who was trying his very best to avoid your gaze, "This time round, it could be someone better than our middle blocker."

You're picking up the volleyballs lying around when the guys go to shower and change, dribbling them slightly and smiling to yourself. A figure towers over you as they drop a ball into the huge bucket. You turn around to look up at Minho.

"Can we speak?"

"Do we have more to say?"

"I guess," he shrugs.

"We can still be friends, Minho," you sigh, eyes closed. "I also won't be those annoying types to tell Hyunjin to stay away from you because you broke up with me. You should know better."

"I didn't mean that," Minho looks offended. "I wanted to apologise. I should have tried harder perhaps."

"You should have."

"I know," Minho sucks in his lower lip. "I really should have but you know—"

"Lee Minho," your voice is firm. "I've told you a gazillion times that Hyunjin and I are just friends, Minho. Somehow you made up this sort of weird thing in your head so don't drag me into this mess. This is yours."

Minho scoffs, "You're going to eat your words soon," and picks up another ball. You remember the task you had forgotten in the heat of the moment, rushing to pick up a ball to put it back. The rest of the team is slowly making their way outside.

"I doubt," you sigh, throwing the last ball into the bucket and dusting your hands together. Jisung's darting towards you, hands in the air. Minho moves to the side, gliding against the floor, making way for the shorter man to reach you, bubbling with such enthusiasm you wonder what the cause of it is.

"Felix is treating us!"

Ah, so that's the reason. You smile at Jisung, nodding your approval. You push the bucket to the side of the gymnasium with Minho's help and switch the lights off as the team exits the gymnasium.

"Lee Minho!" You hear a feminine voice through the air, your eyebrows quirking upwards automatically. Hyunjin walks to your side, sighing as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his sports jacket, mumbling so softly that you barely catch it, "I warned that asshole, God damn him."

Minho's face lights up in a way you haven't seen in a while and your heart is heavy. The woman, Irene — you hear Chan shout her name and wave at her — locks her arm with Minho's and walks with him, the man doing nothing to push her away. It shouldn't affect you. Not anymore now that the two of you have broken up and yet it hurts.

Hyunjin quickly pulls you away, preventing your eyes from lingering further even a minute more. His hand holds yours and he drags you to his motorcycle. You look down, biting the insides of your cheeks, alternating between the right and left every time you taste the copper of the blood.

"Your hand is so small," Hyunjin says. "Like look at how it fits into mine," he laughs, lifting your hand upwards as he clasps it tightly. He mumbles, "So small."

You break into a smile, watching Hyunjin tease you, momentarily drifting from the thought that upsets you and it leaves you wondering how Hyunjin does it all the time. He lets go of your hand, ruffling your hair as he bends lightly, "You've got this."

He quickly turns on the heels of his feet, pulling out the keys to his bike and igniting it. You hear Jisung scream from behind, "I thought you were taking me with you!"

Hyunjin screams back, "Carpool with the rest. I'm taking Y/N."

He lifts his leg, straddling the bike as he holds onto the handles, kicking the support free. He turns towards you and tells you to hop on and you do as he says. Your fingers hold his jacket, making sure you're not hugging him from behind. Minho's words run in your head and Hyunjin notices this small gesture of yours but he pays no heed. After all, it's been a while since he realised that what he has with you is better when it's platonic. He is too afraid to lose you.

"Jinnie," you tell him as he starts the motorbike, accelerating behind Jin who leads the way. You hear your best friend scream, "Yeah," through the loud winds that hit you.

You lean forward and speak closer into his ears, your jaw hitting his helmet, "Remember how I said the guys are to be blamed in a relationship."

"Yeah," he hints at you to proceed.

"Here's my first point. Minho back there," you point out. "It was that easy for a guy to move on. That easy," you stress your word. "While I'm here repenting if there was any way to get things back to where it was. However, there's no use in me trying because there's Minho with Irene like our relationship was a thing in the past."

"That doesn't mean he didn't care about you during the relationship. That's how guys are. They give it their everything when they're in the relationship," Hyunjin reasons and you laugh sardonically.

"You're kidding me, right? The girl definitely cares more. It almost seems so easy for the guys to break up and move on. Remember the time when you broke up with Lisa," you speak, raising your tone a little more so that Hyunjin can hear you. The motorcycle moving against the wind causes your hair to touch your mouth and you're spitting hair out facing the side. Hyunjin laughs, his grip on the accelerator tightening as he speeds up just a little bit, causing you to hold onto his jacket pockets a little tighter.

"Bro," Hyunjin mutters when you bring up Lisa. "I cried enough when she broke up with me, okay?"

"You did, for a day or two," you state. "The girl cried her heart out for a whole week. You went partying that Friday with Jisung!"

"Are we now using quantitative measurements to determine how deep our care and love is?" Hyunjin gasps, sounding very offended. "This reminds me why most relationships don't work. Because girls are shallow as fuck."

Hyunjin accelerates, missing sight of the speed breaker in front of him. It hurls you onto his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist to keep you safe. A soft scream leaves your lips as the side of your face buries into his broad back.

"Sorry," Hyunjin apologises quickly. "Didn't see that!" Hyunjin prays that you don't move your arms away but you do and he sighs, face falling. He is glad that you can't see him. Your hand is back to gripping his jacket and head back in this battle of words you're currently having with your best friend.

"It's okay," you tell him. "What's not okay is how you think women are shallow."

"They are!" He takes a turn to the left. Your thigh muscles tighten as it straddles the seat, fingers digging into his side for support. "I mean, let's be real, sweetheart. You take an hour or more to get ready for college."

"Because I want to look presentable!" You hit his broad back and he chuckles.

"Lies! You're shallow!"

"Says the person who walks around shirtless at home and stares at the mirror, lightly touching your abs and saying perfect," you tease and Hyunjin turns to look at you for a minute with his eyes wide before he turns his attention back on the road.

"You saw that?"

"Of course. I see that every day."

"But you're watching the television, how?"

"Reflections," you state.

He's gasping. The motorcycle slows down as it reaches Pizza Alvolo. The pizzeria is adjacent to a pretty park and you can hear the birds chirp lowly right before the sun is ready to set. You jump off the motorcycle, dusting the denims covering your thighs and Hyunjin removes his helmet, hooking it to the handle securely.

The rest of the team are seated in the pizzeria already waiting for the two of you, waving at you as soon as you enter the place. You rush and sit next to Jisung who has been aggravatingly patting the seat next to him. Hyunjin sits opposite to you, next to Chan. He snatches the menu from him and the elder male whines at the behaviour.

You look around and notice that Minho hasn't reached the place yet. Not that it mattered to you. You will slowly learn to stop caring so much for a man and you will soon be able to look at him and think of only the fond memories and nothing more.

Or so you thought.

The minute you see Minho walk into the pizzeria, although not with Irene, you feel the ground slip underneath you. Jisung is nice enough — albeit not knowing of the whole pickle you are in — to hold your wrist and turn your attention towards the stack of pizza boxes that come your way as he gleams, "Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!"

You look away from Minho and toward the direction Jisung points before turning to look at Hyunjin who lets out a loud sigh. You know that he's clutching at his thick thighs, nails digging into it at the sight of your uncomfortability. Hyunjin knows it will take you days to get over this break up, maybe weeks and that as a good best friend, he should wait. He should understand.

But it frustrates him so much. The sight of you being in pain, in hurt because of another man — his other best friend at that — pisses him off way more than he thought it should at first.

Hyunjin quickly takes his phone out and you narrow your eyes at him, mouthing, "Rude. Put it back into your pocket." In a second, your phone dings and you take yours out. Minho sits by Jisung's side in that second, a seat away from you and your heartbeat accelerates. You unlock your phone to see a message from Hyunjin and you lift up your head, raising an eyebrow at him and he eyes at you to open the message.

Jinnie: do you want to leave?

Your eyes widen and your lips part slightly. You don't respond immediately, locking the phone and shoving it back into your pocket. You smile at Hyunjin, trying to signal that you were alright so far. Jisung opens the cardboard boxes of the pizza and squeals. Chan looks at the situation, analysing if it'd be bad for the team on a bigger approach. Hyunjin might be the captain but had it not been for Chan's guidance, the volleyball team would not have lasted a day more with the differences.

Felix announces, "Eat to your heart's merry! I might never treat again." He takes the first bite for courtesy's sake before telling everyone to join in.

The team laughs and Minho smiles, the skin by his eyes wrinkling and your heart stops to remember all the reasons you were so madly in love with this man. It is at this minute you realise it'll take you maybe a little longer than you thought, a little longer than a casual fling and a little lesser than a long term relationship. You should have known this is bound to happen the minute you allowed yourself to let your petty emotions take over.

And maybe, just maybe, it is the fact that you have to pretend to be alright with having Minho around you that makes this heartbreak pain ten times worse.

Surprisingly, Hyunjin already seems to know because he doesn't stop glancing at you after every bite of the slice he has in his hand.

You stretch your arm out to take a slice of the pepperoni pizza on the table at the same time Minho stretches his arms out to take one. Your fingers brush against his and you jolt your hand backwards, mumbling, "Sorry."

Jisung laughs without knowing and teases, "Why would you apologise for brushing your boyfriend's hand?" He takes a bite of his pizza and as soon as he finishes chewing, he continues, "I mean, you guys do nastier stuff and suddenly, you all are prim and proper, Y/N. Love the contrast you exhibit. It's beautiful. You guys could be at it every time I catch you in the gymnasium alone. Also, you're his longest relationship. You should pride yourself—"

Jisung is speaking and you won't look up. Hyunjin has dropped the knife slightly just to try and get him to stop, though in vain and Minho's looking at you. His eyes won't leave your frame and you just want to leave. It is too early for you to be alright with this. Way too early.

"Stop, Jisung," Chan tells him, reading the situation in the room.

"Why?" Jisung's laughing. Felix understands by now, seeing your face hung down and so does the rest of the team besides the man himself. You can't even come to be angry at Jisung because he seems so innocent, unaware of it all.

You spill the beans for your own heart's safety, "Minho broke up with me."

Minho doesn't shift his eyes at anyone else and Hyunjin holds the knife again, a little too tight this time. Jisung's smile turns instantly into a frown and he turns his head to glare at your now ex-boyfriend.

He doesn't bother to filter his words. "Why the fuck did you do that, you arsehole?" Minho turns to look at Jisung for a split second before his eyes are back at yours. You lift your head to lock gaze with him and you feel your chest tighten, eyes water and it hurts.

Everything seems so much more painful.

Chan says once again, his voice firm, ready to not listen to one more word of the conversation, "Stop it, Jisung. Read the room."

You stretch your arm out to have another bite of the pizza and everyone eats in silence. The room is pregnant with the most awkward silence you had been in your whole life. You take your phone out, unlocking it and finally replying to the message.

Jisung puts another slice of pizza onto your plate and you smile at him. Felix tries breaking the uneasy tension by talking about this dude he met in his neighborhood that was kind of cute. After sitting for another two minutes, you push your chair back to Jisung's surprise and stand up. Hyunjin stands up instinctively, his calves pushing his chair back and everyone at the table looks at the two of you.

Jinnie: do you want to leave?

"I just realised I have to do some grocery shopping," you laugh nervously. "There's absolutely nothing back at home. Not that Hyunjin would buy anything and keep, right?"

Hyunjin chuckles and everyone in the room knows quite obviously that you are trying to escape the scene. They are kind enough to let you. Felix asks, spilling the oregano seasonings on top of his pizza slice, "Is Hyunjin going with you?"

"Ye—"

"No," you cut your best friend before he can give his approval. "I'll go alone." You stretch your arm out, palm facing upwards, "Keys, please?"

"Don't hurt my baby," Hyunjin's sincerity is voiced and you laugh genuinely. Little did you know he meant both you and his motorbike. He drops the key to his motorbike onto your hand and you do a little cheer. Jisung mumbles, "Cute," before stuffing his face with pizzas.

"Have a good time, guys," you wish them and grab your bag, hanging on the chair. Jisung waves enthusiastically. Felix, Chan and the rest of the team waves too. You smile fondly at your team and walk towards the door only to find Hyunjin following you.

"What do you think you are doing right now, mister?"

"Can't I walk you out at the very least, woman?" Hyunjin gapes in dismay. He pulls open the glass door and you laugh.

"Sure thing," you say and walk towards his motorbike. Hyunjin leaves the door after stepping out, the glass door swinging back to shut itself. You swing your legs over his bike, straddling the automobile and dropping your chest slightly to balance the heavy vehicle.

"You sure you'll be alright?"

"Don't you trust your teaching? You taught me how to ride this thing. Don't worry."

You look over Hyunjin's shoulder to see Minho still looking at you, worry smeared all over his face and you feel your throat constricting again as you do your best to tear your eyes away from him.

Hyunjin takes a step closer, making sure everything's alright with the vehicle so that it doesn't endanger you. He places his hand over your wrist and you look at him in confusion, "Promise me you'll take care of yourself."

"I will," you laugh. "What are you? My daddy?"

Hyunjin stiffens for a minute before he lets go of all the inappropriate thoughts that fill him for a minute there before teasing you, "Do you want me to be your daddy?"

"Nah," you throw your head back. "You aren't that rich enough." You place the helmet over your head and look at him. Hyunjin taps your helmet and hugs you slightly.

"I'll see you at home."

You start the bike on ignition and look over Hyunjin's shoulder one last time to look at Minho, locking gazes with him before you pull yours away from him towards Hyunjin.

You look ahead, the clear road in front of you and turn the accelerator only after telling Hyunjin, giggling slightly,

"Sure thing, Daddy."

Hyunjin, on the other hand, is too caught up in his worry, eyes lingering behind the trailing presence of yours that finally disappears from his sight into a speck that fades away. In any other circumstances, he would have found your petite figure driving the huge motorcycle and you even calling him daddy, although in a teasing tone, insanely hot.

Right now, however, he just hopes you are safe. He wishes he could be by your side at every second.

Gaho's Stay Here blasts on the bluetooth speaker. Hyunjin pulls open the door only to find you lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling with the most emotionless face he has ever seen you with. His eyes dart towards the empty bottles of soju on the small table in the hall.

"Y/N?"

You sit up, looking at your best friend and your lip pucker out quickly pouting at the sight of him and you stretch your arms out wide, squealing, "Hyunjinnie. You are home."

Hyunjin walks towards you, plopping on the couch and sitting next to you. He quickly lifts his arm up, hand darting back and forth at the air to steer the smell away as he frowns at you, "You reek of liquor, dude."

You quickly hug him, wrapping your arms around his frame from the side and snuggling your face into his shoulder. Hyunjin stiffens under your grip and he looks down at your being with eyes closed and he realises that you might after all just be a small being in need of some loving. He wishes to be the person to do that. Hwang Hyunjin utterly and truly wants to be your person.

Hyunjin takes your phone to stop playing the music — Stay Here that's been currently playing on repeat for the twentieth time straight — and you whine against his skin, tickles running down Hyunjin's spine.

"Don't stop the music," you mumble and Hyunjin looks at you and your figure that hugs him securely, head snuggled by his neck, chin digging into the skin by his collarbone and all Hyunjin can focus on is his heart that is beating furiously against his chest.

"Y/N," Hyunjin's voice seems like an anchor to your woozy mind and you hug him tighter, gripping stronger on to his white shirt. You hum in response and Hyunjin continues, "Gaho's music doesn't seem very fitting for the minute."

You pull apart, your face morphing and changing into that of offense as you glare at him, mumbling, "Gaho is the only one that understands me." You play the music again, the bluetooth speakers blasting with the sad slow tune in the air and you feel the want to cry all over again.

You stretch your arm out to take a soju bottle from the table to down it all out when Hyunjin stretches out to stop you, his fingers wrapping around your wrists. He locks his eyes with yours and in the softest, most caring voice you've ever heard from him, he says, "Don't, Y/N. It hurts me too."

"Can I hold you?"

In a split moment, the room is filled with just the soft beats of Gaho's Start Over playing, your raspy breaths and Hyunjin's lost stare. His grip on your wrist tightens and your mind is far too intoxicated to think if this friendship could be ruined. Your heart is heavy, chest tight and you want someone to free you. Anyone. You are clawing at the imaginary wall all by yourself and anyone could be a help. Anyone that is not Lee Minho.

"Yes," and you fall on Hyunjin at the exact same moment he pulls your hand closer towards him. The timing seems to have lapsed on to each other. Your chest on Hyunjin's, eyes looking up at him as your arms snake slowly over his torso. You snuggle forward, rubbing against his body slightly and Hyunjin sighs.

To Hyunjin, the scene is a lot dramatic just because of the soft music playing and because you are drunk off your head according to him, barely able to make decisions. He just doesn't want to do anything that will make either of your friendships but right now, in this minute with you almost on top of him, locking your eyes in his, your arms around his torso, close enough to feel every part of your being, he wants to be drunk too.

Hyunjin wants to be drunk so that he can make a mistake. Hyunjin wants to be so drunk that he can't think just because he is a coward.

"Do you feel better?" He asks and you snuggle into his chest, burying your face into it as you hold him. Your lonely heart being comforted by just his presence and in the back of your drunk head, you know you feel a little bit more that causes your heart to flutter when Hyunjin cares.

You and Hyunjin are both cowards — two small people in this big world with big emotions unwilling to risk one status for another, over the fear of losing each other.

But Hyunjin wants to risk it tonight. After years of pining, he wants to risk this golden friendship he has shared with you for years now. You are the trigger, however. You lift your face away from his chest and crawl slightly towards him, pushing yourself against him. You look at him, lips pressed together and you stretch your right arm upwards to hold his face in your hand.

"Jinnie," your voice lets out his name in such an airy tone that it seems to disappear away even before it reaches his ear. His eyes are glassy and his heart is in his throat, eager in nothing but anticipation that is risen from all his hoping.

It happens as he has imagined. You lean forward so slowly that he pictures every second vividly and in an instant, your lips are on his. Hyunjin knows it should have felt wrong but God, save him — nothing felt more right than this.

You kiss him and his whole world falls away. It lingers, like a memory that stays behind. Your lips are slow and soft against him, comforting yourself and him in ways that words would never be. Hyunjin's hand slowly lifts up to rest below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your breath mingles only for a split second — one filled with hesitance and uncertainty — before you pull away, looking at your best friend.

It is just a second of a kiss. Something so small and insignificant to seemingly anyone else yet it means the whole world to Hyunjin. It is the whole world to Hyunjin because this is all that is needed to let him astray, hinge released of the stupid restrictions he has made up in his head over you.

Your small kiss is all Hyunjin needs to hold on to because in the next minute, he is pulling you towards him, hands cupping your face tightly and angling it to kiss you, encasing your lower lips in his as he moves against your coral ones. You let out a small gasp and run your fingers down his spine, holding him as close as possible until there is no space left between the two of you and you can feel the beating of his heart against your chest. Loud, clear and unknown to you that it beats for you in this minute.

Hyunjin's lips are slammed against yours, nearly knocking all wind from your lungs and you don't know if it is your feelings or Hyunjin himself. He presses his tongue to the seam of your lips and, the minute you let him in, he delves inside your mouth. Hyunjin kisses you like he thinks it is the last time he will ever be able to have his lips against yours.

Your arms move up his back and tangle around his thick, strong neck. In an instant, you pull away and arch up into his broad chest, moaning in the contact of body heat against your own, before you draw back into his lips. Hyunjin can feel the burn of hard soju in his mouth, thanks to you, and it rolls off your tongue into his, seeping down his throat and he can't hate it. There is a thrill in its own that Hyunjin knows stems from you.

If it was possible, Hyunjin would slow down time.

You pull back eventually only to hug him, humming against his neck, lips pressed against the soft expanse of his skin. Hyunjin's hand is pressed against your back as he pats you in a steady rhythm, instinctively humming to a tune that could calm you.

"Jinnie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," and he feels your weight fall on to his shoulder as you snuggle closer into his neck, your warm breath fanning against him, sending shivers down his spine. "For everything."

Hyunjin holds you for a while, silence and nothing but your breathing that is soft music to his ears, till he hears your soft snores buzzing against his eardrums and he knows you have fallen asleep in his arms, against his chest.

The next morning, you find yourself magically in your bed, comforter on top of you covering every inch of you, head aching thanks to your reckless drinking last night with no memory of whatsoever that happened. Lightheaded you should have known better.

Hyunjin chooses to be a coward, the morning after.

The greens that cover the campus is the only other thing that keeps you sane in this university. The first being, the volleyball team. However, you don't know anymore if it is still, in the present.

You sit on the same bench before a beautiful fountain with a tiger head right in the centre, watching the vast basketball court. A place that holds way more memories to you now than it did a year before.

You shake your legs, feet pointing forward as you listen to music with about half an hour in your hand to waste before you head down towards the gymnasium to meet with the volleyball team. Besides few people that walk down towards their classes, the campus looks pretty stranded as you watch every single person stay happy in their sphere.

"Y/N," you hear your name being called out through yet another one of Gaho's songs and you lift your head up, to look at the person by your side, standing and providing you the shade they probably didn't intend to.

It's the man himself, the one who broke your heart for an explanation that made no sense to you. Lee Minho.

He stands tall, towering over you and your neck aches from looking up at him that you decide to stand up, removing the earbuds and placing it on the wooden bench, next to your phone.

"You're here." You gulp. "Aren't you supposed to be headed to the gym for practice?"

The fountain is everything you associate Minho with — moreover, it is perhaps the relationship with him that you associated the beautiful water fountain with. To see the very same man before you right now is needless to say surprising.

"I could ask you the same thing," Minho chuckles. He takes out a small cone of butterscotch ice cream and extends his arm, offering it to you. You smile softly, thanking him, sitting down back on the bench. "Can I sit here?" He asks and you nod, unwrapping the wrapping paper around the ice cream.

"Yeah," you tap on the seat by your side. You take a bite of your ice cream and Minho visibly flinches, mumbling, "Still the same."

"You broke up with me like two days back. What did you expect? A nirvana attained me?" You scoff. You take another bite of the ice cream, the sensitivity hitting your teeth and you hiss.

"Brutal," Minho chuckles darkly. You scoff, turning your head away and taking another bite of your ice cream. Minho opens his ice cream and you raise an eyebrow at him, mumbling, "You don't eat ice cream though."

"Thought you might want another one," he smiles and the thought of a second ice cream lights you up. "There you go smiling like a dork as always at the thought of it." Minho laughs and you bend forward to take it, your left arm stretching forward. Minho tugs it backwards and your body moves a little more to grab at it until it's too far for you, bringing you to your present position.

Your hand is on Minho's chest, his eyes locked in yours and you are surprised. This is not in your to do list and yet with Minho's grip on your wrist, you drop your ice cream as soon as he edges closer. His face is so close that you can see the perfect plump lips pout slightly, his face glistening in the bright sun and you gasp softly. It has been a while since he has been this close and he still makes your heart go livid within you, beating crazy.

He drops his ice cream in a second, his hands pressing forward to cup your face and pull you into him to kiss the living hell out of you. Your eyes widen, arms falling limp on either side as you stiffen.

"Can I try something?" He hesitates, iron grip on you.

"Try?" You look worried and the next minute, Minho is kissing you, his plump lips on yours for a while before he moves them against yours, taking hold of your lower lip.

It is an instinct. You choose to blame it rather on instincts. Your hand moves to grab the linen draping his arm as you hold it and kiss Minho back. It is as bitter as coffee thanks to all the memories that go along with it and yet — you find yourself drowning. You find yourself wanting more. You find yourself hoping if Minho could stay, if Minho could just pretend to love you, if not.

And it breaks your heart.

All over again.

A lone tear leaves your eyes and then another, till you are crying as you kiss him. A wet messy affair at its finest. Minho pulls back in surprise feeling the wetness against his skin. He cups your face and holds you, looking at you to check for damage — little does he know of the emotional one. Or maybe he does and he chooses to ignore. Typical Lee Minho.

"Did I hurt you?"

Your emotions take over, sanity pushed to the back. You are pulling yourself from Minho as he tries to hold you to calm you down. Your fist plummets down onto his hard chest once and then, for the second time till you are hitting him over and over again till you completely break down in front of him. Minho quickly pulls you into a hug, holding you close till you completely soak his white shirt with your tears.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you—" It's a repeated chant. Over and over again till you don't remember how many times you told Minho the same thing. Your mind goes insane with the overdrive of emotions. Did you like Minho still? You don't know. You don't know whether it's the familiarity of his hugs or his kisses or his whole presence that you crave or if it's his love.

"I'm sorry," he whispers and you accept because it's the first time an apology from Lee Minho sounded this sincere. "I'm sorry for breaking your heart." He snuggles into the crook of your neck, swallowed by guilt. Perhaps this is why one should never date their friends; because you lose something much greater.

"I hate you more now for kissing me here," you manage to say, throat rasp from the crying. "How could you stain this memory too? How dare you stain the memory of the location of our first kiss? It was supposed to be a bittersweet memory when I sit here and think." Minho is still hugging you.

"I'm sorry."

It is still bittersweet in a new way, you realise — the fact that Lee Minho kisses you for the last time, you swear to God, in the very same place he kissed you for the first time. The weather changed, the people around changed and the emotions changed. Even after all that, the fountain stays proud and mighty and bears witness to more new relationships and new heartbreaks. Nothing changes besides you. Nothing changes besides what we want.

You pull away from him. Sitting straight, facing the vast basketball court and the juniors playing the game, you make a decision, firm and determined. The soft pink petals fall down from the cherry blossom trees over the two of you and Minho looks at you, and then at the spilled ice cream. To see the boughs that were so bereft in the snow become so beautifully adorned should lift your spirits infinitely and it does slightly. Their scents diffuse in the warming breeze and you hold your head high to savour it.

"Let's stay away from each other for a while."

Minho's eyes shoot up, head lifting up to face you. He does not refute. After all, he knows he has to take a step behind after breaking your heart. What he does not understand is how the two of you could stay away from each other when your friend circles overlap to a large extent.

"How?" He finally asks. "How do I help you with that?"

"By doing just that. Give me space and time to get over you. I'll come back asking for your hand in friendship again," you smile. Your tear stained visage and the difficult smile you put forth is a funny combination but you manage to pull it off well, you'd say. "You don't have to take the first step this time. Let me do this on my own, Minho."

You stand up on your own, grabbing your earphones and your phone. Minho stands up, following suit and asks, "Are you leaving?"

"Yes," you turn only to look at him as you walk backwards. "And you have to head for practice. So get going. I won't have you mess up your performance by all means." You turn back and move ahead. From everything.

"You know I wouldn't," Minho screams back and the last syllable ends with a laugh. You lift your hand to wave and you leave, far, far away from him.

You now have an open wound to stitch back and you know you have to do it on your own.

Hyunjin's phone rings right when he decides to serve the ball. He drops the ball in surprise, the sphere rolling all the way to where his phone is placed. Chan groans, stopping his pace at the sound of the phone ringing, and yells, "Yah! Hyunjin, how many times should I tell you to switch off your phone?"

Felix walks in exactly at that minute, laughing, "Anyone from outside would totally think Chan's the captain!"

Hyunjin runs to his phone, his blond hair strands falling forward, ponytail swinging left and right. Felix laughs at the sight, walking towards the ball and picking it up before throwing it at Chan who catches it swiftly. Hyunjin sees your name on the phone, eyes lighting up instantly and a smile prominent only for Chan to announce, "It's Y/N."

"Of course, it is," Felix scoffs. "Where's the rest of the guys? I thought you said we were to come early—" Felix pauses, eyes widening and gasping, "Hold up! Y/N is late. Whoa!"

"They are probably running towards the gym right now," Hyunjin says before picking up the call. He mouths to the rest, "It'll be short, I promise," and pouts. Chan sighs, only to smile and wave his hand at him to take the call.

"Y/N," Hyunjin cheers up instantly. "Where are—" He hears a choked sob from the other hand and Hyunjin stiffens, face losing the smiling in a second. "Are you alright?"

"I am," you strain it out. You barely manage through with the chokes and that pain that ripples through in waves but you eventually find the words to tell him, "I won't make it to practice today. Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

Hyunjin is angry and he doesn't even know who it is aimed at. He is just beyond mad at the fact that you are crying and someone made you cry. The thought of the skin by your eyes aching and eyes red and burning over anyone made him so angry that he could punch a wall through.

"I'm not telling you," he hears you say and he clenches his fist.

"Stop being a brat, Y/N," he stresses and Chan gestures at him, asking if there was something wrong. Hyunjin nods. "Where are you?"

"Leave me alone, Jinnie," you tell him through the phone, "Please," and his eyes widen before he calms himself down, realising that you are trying to cope all alone, a pathetic self-destructive quirk of yours that he had learned to live with after all these years. He gulps and realises you truly needed time alone and he hums in approval.

"Please reach out to me when you need me," he begs. "Please, Y/N."

Felix and Chan are staring at Hyunjin in worry when the door to the gymnasium opens and Jisung rushes into the room. He is panting and he looks around, searching for someone. Hyunjin turns away, his attention back on the call in his hands and he ends the call quickly, making a note in his mind to check up on you after practise. Not that you would let him miss practise. (Not that Hyunjin would do it to himself in the first place. He'd kill for volleyball.)

He walks towards the rest when Minho walks in, black duffel bag on his shoulder. Jisung is quick on his feet as he runs towards the other man, hands on his shoulders and he shakes the living hell out of him.

"He's gone crazy, dude," Felix mumbles and Chan laughs.

Hyunjin stays at a comfortable distance still, looking at his phone in worry every now and then. The man lifts his head and brings his attention back to the present only when he hears your name leave Jisung's mouth.

"Whoa, dude. You got back together with Y/N?"

"What?" Chan is the first to respond. "You did what?"

"I didn't get back together with her," Minho says, his voice is monotone and lacks anything more than nonchalance and it pisses the hell out of Hyunjin who has his fists still clenched tightly.

"I saw you kissing her but. . ." Jisung drops the bomb all at once in such a lost way that he doesn't realise the impact it was to have in this large gymnasium.

Hyunjin is charging forwards all at once, yelling, "You bastard," as he throws a punch at Minho. The blond dyed man is quick to put two and two together and realise that you are after all, crying because of the black haired man before him.

He pushes him back, Minho hitting the floor and Hyunjin's on top of him, punching him with his clenched fist, mind void and painted in hot red anger. Minho has his arms, blocking his punches and chooses to play on the defensive side.

In fear, we are all monsters. Hyunjin believes that he would be afraid of himself had he astral projected and looked at himself in this minute, all unhinged because of one girl — one girl he would set the world on fire for.

All that rage comes out faster than magma for Hyunjin and is just as destructive. More so because he's the captain. It consumes all that he is, so delicate under that carefully ordered world and carefully put up feign that he is alright with Minho breaking the heart of the girl he loves. Minho shrivels before him but Hyunjin does not stop. He relentlessly keeps going, stopping short of physical violence but doing far more damage with the words that he throws.

Chan tries to pull Hyunjin away as Jisung drags Minho from underneath him. The black haired man is left with bruises and a busted lip. On the other hand, Hyunjin is still fuming, along with Chan, sporting a few cuts from Minho who decided to throw a few punches in the last moment.

"Can you all stop?" Felix sighs.

"Why would you bastard make her cry again?" Hyunjin raises his voice. He's yelling at this point, loud enough for everyone passing by the gymnasium to hear. "Why the fuck would you make Y/N cry again? I told you to leave her alone!"

"This wouldn't have happened if things went different—" Hyunjin tries to rush forward to hit him again upon hearing his words, but Chan and Changbin, another teammate, have a strong grip on him. His blond ponytail lashes in anger and he fights against the two, trying to let go of himself. Minho yells back, "I would have never broken up with her if you never liked her, Hyunjin."

"What?" He stops still in his tracks, limbs falling and Chan lets go.

"How am I supposed to think it's alright for you to randomly stare at my girlfriend with heart eyes? For fuck's sake, you guys hug way more than I hug her," Minho glares, chest rising up as he vents everything he has bottled up so far. "If you had always liked her, you should have told me! I shouldn't have overheard it from Chan telling you to ask her out." Chan's face pales visibly. "I would have tried making her stay. I would have made her stay. I would have," Minho's voice lowers. "I still did, but I was too late."

Hyunjin has no words to refute. His eyes widen and his heart is in his throat, barely being able to say, "You could have taken it out on me. Why would you drag her into this? She loved you. She still wavers because of you. Your faithless love was the only hoax she was forced to believe."

Jisung pouts in awe at the words Hyunjin spills and Minho mumbles, "I don't know. I couldn't think straight."

Felix drops the ball with force, suddenly. The ball squelches before raising high and hitting the wall with impact. He folds his arms and speaks up, "Stop acting like kids." He points at Minho. "You, stop putting the blame of your failed relationship on Hyunjin. Him liking Y/N did not ruin your relationship. You killed it yourself."

"But he—"

"I liked her even before you made a move on her. Nothing has changed, Minho," Hyunjin inhales sharply.

"It's because you're a coward, you arsehole."

Hyunjin closes his eyes, looking away, mumbling, "Not going to even bother denying that. I'd be dating her if I wasn't this scared of losing her."

Felix proceeds to point at Hyunjin, glaring sharply at him, "You call yourself a captain? We have a match in a few days and you decide to lose control and beat up your teammate? One of the best middle blockers out there! What in the world are you thinking, Hyunjin? Jesus Christ, when Y/N hears of this, she's going to beat you up so bad for doing this to him in the name of the team."

Hyunjin doesn't dare to look up at Felix, shuffling the balance of his body from one feet to another. He is embarrassed. He should have never let his emotions take control of his body and yet he did.

Chan walks towards Felix before announcing, "We'll start practice in five. I want the two of you to sort this out by the end of this day. If you haven't, I don't want either of you coming to practice tomorrow."

"I'm the setter!" Hyunjin protests.

"Jeongin can do a darn good job too, so shut up and listen to me well."

"Now," Felix claps his hand, smiling once again brightly before running to pick up the ball. "Let's practice like the perfect team we are!"

"And like I couldn't stop myself. It's like something dragged me to move forward and the next thing I knew, I was on top of Minho—"

"Fuck, that'd be hot."

"Y/N, focus. And like I was beating the crap out of him."

You dab an alcoholic swab over the small wounds on his face as he seethes in pain and you sneer, "Deserved it."

"Ouch," Hyunjin fakes offense. "Side with me at least now. You aren't dating him anymore." You stop, your hand midair and you dab constantly over his wounds till Hyunjins screaming, "Ow, ow, ow. I'm sorry," and holds your wrist and pulls it away.

"But you messed up your team dynamics just because of your anger," you frown. "You and Minho better sort it out quickly, Jinnie. Else, I swear to God." You glare at him.

"What will you do?" Hyunjin laughs, scrunching his nose and teasing you. You place the bandaids over the wounds and raise an eyebrow. Hyunjin prompts, "Bite me?"

"I will," you warn and Hyunjin scoffs, "As if."

You bite him. His shoulder, to be exact. Your teeth hold onto his socket for a good one minute tightly till he is yelping, hitting your back to let go of him as he hisses in pain. You let go of him and narrow your eyes at him. Hyunjin is shocked. So shocked that he blankly stares at you with his mouth wide open.

"Are you a dog?"

"I could be one if you taunt me too much."

"Wow," he blinks and you poke the insides of your cheek with your tongue. "Wow, you're truly one of a kind." And Hyunjin breaks down laughing, holding his shoulder with his hand and bending forward overcome by intense laughter.

"Buy me mint choco," he prompts. "Because now you injured me and I want compensation."

"Excuse me?"

Hyunjin pushes himself forward, edging closer to you, looking you in your eyes before saying, "You know you have to," in a low guttural tone that your heart does a whole somersault, triple axle and then lands with an ovation. "You hurt me."

You push him away and you leap onto your feet, your eyes wide and your hand over your chest. Hyunjin looks at you with a raised eyebrow. To change the mood of the situation, you quickly announce, "Fine. You'll get mint chocolate only if you get ready and come out in five minutes. Else you pay for it on your own."

Hyunjin stands up and holding your wrist, he pulls you with him to the door. You look at him in utter confusion and ask, "What are you doing?"

Hyunjin stops in his tracks and turns to look at you, blond strands leaving his ponytail to cover his eyes slightly and pink lips so plump that you wonder how they feel. The realisation that you have started viewing your best friend as someone more than just that hits you and you look down instantly. When did this happen?

"I'll just wear a coat and so should you," Hyunjin laughs. "Ice cream can't wait."

People think of laughing as a noise that comes from the mouth more often than not, but when Hyunjin laughed it was nothing like that. The laugh is in his eyes, in the way his face changes into that vision of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. And yet, in all honesty, it is not in his face either. His laugh comes from within, it is just the way he is wired with the instant ability to comfort someone. Just the sound of his gales, his snickers, his giggles, was enough to transport you far away from all your worries and the tension your life has in the minute.

Enough to make you forget that you have to tell him today about the decision you have taken.

Hyunjin and you walk down the stairs and off onto the road in five minutes as planned. The cool air of the night hits you and you hold yourself closer, the long coat held tightly to your body surface. Hyunjin laughs before wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close by just a little bit and yet enough to share his body warmth.

"Mint choco, here we come!" And he runs with you.

The thing with your stupid heart is that you don't understand why it is beating so rapidly in this moment, your heart beat easily jumping to more than 95bpm and all because Hyunjin holds you. You look at the man by your side, his blond hair moving with the air, exposing his face and you wonder — had Hwang Hyunjin always been this beautiful?

You have known Hyunjin for a long time now. Too long for you to realise that your heart had a change in its plans for emotions recently. You have known Hyunjin way too long to know that you want him for a lifetime by your side, as a best friend at the very least and the thought that if you did act upon your new emotions that you have just discovered in this cold, breezy night, you are screwed.

Hyunjin turns to look back at you after hearing absolutely no sound from you. His face pales when he realises you are looking far ahead and he wonders if you do remember now. If you remember the drunk night.

So he asks to put himself at ease, "Y/N?"

"Huh?" You jolt up to consciousness, looking properly at Hyunjin. "Yeah?"

"Do you remember the night a few days back?"

"Night? Few days back?" You ponder. "When I was drunk?"

"Yeah," Hyunjin mumbles and you raise your body in anticipation, finally wanting to ask about the magical teleportation.

"Now that we are on this topic," you fold your arms and raise your eyebrows at your best friend. Hyunjin shuffles his balance from his left to his right. "Did you carry me to bed that night?"

Hyunjin chokes on air, sputtering out incoherent words before finally forming one proper sentence, "You knew?"

"You're the only other person I live with and I don't have any recollection of going to bed so like I presumed," you look down, heat rising to your cheek and you fidget with your fingers. "That you carried me to bed."

"That's all that you remember?"

You lift your head up, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, "Is there more?"

"Uh," Hyunjin turns back to face forward, his broad back in your vision again as he walks forward to the ice cream parlour by the junction.

"Hyunjin?" He walks quicker. "Yah! Hwang Hyunjin!" You follow him with quick, short strides, almost jogging up to him. "What did I do, Jinnie?" He opens the glass door to the ice cream parlour. "Yah, Hwang Hyunjin, tell me no matter how embarrassing it is." You follow him into the white aesthetically pretty place.

You finally catch hold of his coat and tug at it. Hyunjin turns, his cheeks flushed and you wonder what in the world happened that night. Yes, you have vague memories of hugging Hyunjin and passing out, but for him to act like this — wait, you didn't empty your stomach out on him, did you?

"Did I—" Hyunjin's eyes widens. He turns back, his attention on the man behind the counter and he points towards you.

"She's paying."

"Okay," the man nods and turns to look at you, waiting for your order. You sigh, glaring at your best friend before ordering one quantity of mint chocolate ice cream. Your eyes waver to the green ice cream and you frown in displeasure, something Hyunjin catches sight of your expression.

"How dare you?" He folds his arms, dramatically. "The only people that matter in this world are the one that like mint chocolate." The man at the counter smiles at the two of you.

You open your mouth, clicking your tongue, "I'm not paying money to eat toothpaste."

The man behind the counter laughs out loud and Hyunjin glares at him, scoffing. He takes the ice cream from his hand and waits for you to pay. The tall man looks at the two of you, again, before finally telling, "Good luck on your relationship. It's always fun to see couples have an argument over mint chocolate and still be so in love with each other." He turns to look at Hyunjin only, "For your information, I like mint chocolate."

Both Hyunjin and you look at each other, either of you waiting for the other person to disagree with the man but there is just silence. You can feel Hyunjin looking at you through the corners, waiting for you to refute like you always do. You don't and you do not even know why. The heat builds up beneath the apples of your cheek and the thought of being in a relationship with your best friend strangely brings about a wave of calmness within you, doing its best to shove the uncertainty of so many things away.

"Thank you for the ice cream," you say and walk to an empty table. Hyunjin thanks the man too, and follows you, sitting on the seat opposite to you and places the mint chocolate in between.

He watches you, unsure of the situation and you bite your lower lip nervously before shoving the cup closer to him and mumbling, "Eat. We came all the way here for you."

"You should have gotten another ice cream," Hyunjin frowns.

"It's past nine," you laugh, your hair falling over the chair as you lean back. "I can't let fat into my body after nine. You know that."

"Why do I know you?" Hyunjin puts his hand on his forehead looking at you and then he pushes the cup of ice cream towards your side. "Disappointment." You look at your best friend, disgusted and he won't take the disrespect though.

"It's a refreshing taste," he digs in and takes a big bite. "Plus, it's the right balance." He lifts the spoon with a small amount of the mint ice cream and shoves it right in front of your face. "The perfect amount of mint, chocolate and milk to make the world's most perfect ice cream."

You push his hand away and glare, "Why would you ruin two beautiful sweets," you raise an eyebrow, "Chocolate and ice cream by including," you fake a gag, "Mint?"

"Because mint balances the sweetness of the chocolate," he scoffs. "All you mediocre people won't understand. Mint chocolate was created for the elite class."

"Did you just call me mediocre?" your jaw drops and Hyunjin laughs. It's soft, airy and so carefree that you don't mind the fact that he is laughing at you and not with you. You don't mind one bit when you break down and laugh with him, unable to keep your face straight as you lean forward on the table, your head resting on your hands and you watch Hyunjin.

You decide to tell him of your decision in this minute.

"I'm going to make Seungmin manage the team," you tell Hyunjin and he stares at you, the spoon dropping from his hand and clattering against the glass rim of the ice cream cup. You continue, "He's always wanted to manage the volleyball team and I thought I should let him—"

"Why?" He sounds hurt. Disappointed, in fact and your heart plummets down.

"I thought it's time to move on."

"From the team or Minho?"

"Minho," you say, nibbling on your lower teeth. "I want to go back to him—"

"What?" Hyunjin feels his heart sink.

"Don't cut me off, hoe," you click your tongue. "I want to go back to him and be his friend. I'm not ready to ruin a friendship over this. I just won't."

Hyunjin looks down at his cup of ice cream. His spoon digs into the cold dessert over and over again till he realises that he'll do what he has always done for you — be right by your side as your pillar.

"Feed me," Hyunjin prompts and you stare at him with a void expression, mouth still open, wondering if he suggested this only and only to change the topic. Hyunjin stretches his arm out to shut your mouth. "People are going to think I'm starving you here."

"Whoa." You lift your head up. "And if I do that, people are going to think we're possibly the cutest couple out there still in our glorious honeymoon phase of it."

"Okay," Hyunjin shrugs and leans back against the chair, folding his arms against each other.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with that."

You sit up straight and look down before finally saying, "Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"Those words that make my heart flutter. I don't know what to feel, Hyunjin." Hyunjin is too stunned to react and whine over the fact that you called him properly by his name in your conversation. The fact that he too can cause your heart to race a little bit just like you have with his all these years. "Don't say them to me if you won't ever be ready to take responsibility over them."

You place your thumb and forefinger on your forehead, squeezing the skin slightly to calm the slight ache you can feel, the vein throbbing slightly and you know it is your anxiety that kicks in because you almost spilled everything out. You quickly stand up and holding your coat tightly, you look at Hyunjin who is still seated and looking at you intently.

"I need to go to the pharmacy next door. I'll wait for you there. Finish your ice cream and come."

You don't turn to look at Hyunjin as you walk out, slightly embarrassed by your own behaviour. Between you and Hyunjin, you are the one who had to keep your cool, making sure you didn't slip up or make a mess so that you could at least have time to clean his spilt milk.

You push the door of the ice cream parlour and walk out, the doorbell ringing at your push and you hold yourself in the cold breeze. If Hyunjin did not respond to it, it is only safe to presume that he feels nothing more towards you. You could at least put two and two together. Or so you thought till Hyunjin is chasing after you, big strides and dark blond hair in the wind as his rubber band comes loose and slides off a bit.

"Y/N!" He shouts and quickly holds your wrist, pulling you so quickly that you stumble forward into him. Hyunjin grips your arms to steady you and he looks at you, his brown eyes trying to peep into your soul. He smiles, hand running through his hair only to bring more strands forward, covering his vision.

Falling in love with Hwang Hyunjin, you realise, is the easy part. He makes it so easy to fall for him — when he smiles at the sun, covering his eyes or when he is covered by the dogs in dog parks all eager to hug him because that's how he just is. You don't even realise when you fall for Hyunjin but when you do, you know you are already sinking and you are far too gone for saving.

It is, however, admitting to yourself that you fell for your best friend that is hard. The Hwang Hyunjin that you have seen since the five year old boy moved next door to you. The Hwang Hyunjin that would cross dress in your clothes. The Hwang Hyunjin that would steal your dumplings. It is the same Hwang Hyunjin that you fall for. You had all these doors with specifications that opened to only men like Lee Minho and yet like the rude asshole that you oh so adorably love he seemed to tear them down. Or perhaps those doors were meant for others and Hyunjin always had a door of his own for your heart.

You should have asked yourself why but would it have really mattered? You're here with Hyunjin by your side, whether he knows your feelings or not and you couldn't be any less glad, even if you are sometimes hiding, imagining a distance instead of seeing Hyunjin right there.

"I'll come back, Jinnie," you tell him, looking up at him and coughing slightly, trying to move back slightly to put some space between the two of you. "I'm not running away. I just need to buy some strips of paraceta—"

"I want to be responsible for them," His gaze doesn't leave yours. "I want to be responsible for you, your emotions and everything you are, if you let me."

You wouldn't dare to shift your eyes away, or focus on anything else. Just Hyunjin. Just your Hyunjin. Your heart beats so fast against your chest that you wonder if it ever had this much for any man or woman. And when Hyunjin pulls you into him, his arms wrapping around your frame, hand flat against your head that buries your face into his chest, you learn that Hwang Hyunjin's heartbeat is always your metronome — the beat your entire life seemed to have moved smoothly to.

You giggle against his chest, breaking into a smile, "Are you asking me out, Jinnie?"

"I guess," he chuckles into your hair, snuggling himself into you. He pulls you back to explain. "My original plan was to ask you out after the practice match that I'll make sure we win, but you could possibly not be there as our manager and what if I miss the chance?"

"You lovesick boy," you laugh, smiling stupidly at him. Hyunjin cups your face and presses his forehead against yours.

"I've liked you for so long, Y/N," and you blush, lips pursed and you smile back, heart fluttering.

"Thank you," you press a kiss against his cheek.

"For what?"

"For being you and for always loving me."

Hwang Hyunjin holds your face and kisses like he is capable of getting rid of all your worries, slowly bleeding into your marrows and cells and soaking you of the very essence he is. He holds you like you are a precious being — and to him, you are because he finally has you after all these years; he finally gets to call you his.

His lips are warm and tasted of mint; obviously from the mint chocolate ice cream earlier. His hands are wrapped around your waist and yours are locked around his neck pulling him down slightly. His strands of blond locks brush against your face, ticking you slightly and you giggle into the kiss. He laughs against your lips before kissing you slowly, drawing the kiss for as long as he could. When you break apart for air, you lean forward and rest your forehead against his, gathering some much needed oxygen. His smile tells you everything you need confirmation over and you smile back, sinking into his hold.

Hyunjin hugs with gentle arms that still gives the space to breathe; yet it is the hug of a strong pair of arms that tells everything that you are - every fibre of your being - that he is with you, and you wonder how he is capable of that. How he is capable of holding like you are his whole world — like he rather hold you than anything else.

Hyunjin does exactly that. He holds you tight and close to him in this cold night, ignorant of everything else around the two of you, like you and him only mattered in the place, like you and him are fireworks in this velvet dark, the blaze that dares to light up the night.

4K notes · View notes