#and i'm not saying he can't be that silly goofy guy with DID but please research these things before you jump in | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artandshid · 7 months

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Eddie munson crop top... . .. I'm feral for it like foaming out the mouth, please. Maybe the reader sees Eddie at school with a cropped hellfire shirt because it shrunk in the wash. She's in hellfire club but can't focus on anything but Eddie at school. So he asks what's up and she gets all flustered or something like that .

*Hi I changed the context of the crop top a little bitch but I still hope you like it*

WARNING: SMUT

You saw your boyfriend before he saw you. He was at his locker putting some books away. It may have seemed silly a few months ago, Eddie Munson with textbooks, yea right, but when you guys started dating, he was motivated to take his education seriously. He wanted to graduate with his girl.

He looks beautiful as always, his hair sitting in sloppy curls that fit him just perfectly, his eyebrows slightly pinched in concentration, he probably didn’t even realize he was doing it, and his soft lips slightly parted. He is so handsome and he doesn’t even know.

But what really caught your attention today, wasn’t your boyfriend’s usual, beautiful features, no it was the shirt he was wearing.

At first you didn’t even notice it, but once you realize, you thought you were for sure drooling.

He was dressed in, what looked like, to be your Hellfire Tshirt. And since it was yours, well, it didn’t exactly fit him right. It was two sizes too small for him and it was obvious. The shirt was too tight, it was hugging his muscular chest so perfectly you can see the outline of his pecs. And it was tight around the arms, too, so you his muscular biceps were being shown off to anyone who paid attention. And whoever wasn’t paying attention was missing quite the show in your opinion. But no, what really did it for you was the length of the shirt. It was short. So short that you can see his semi-toned stomach and his happy trail. God it turned you on so much.

“He probably doesn’t even know what he’s doing” you think and shake your head.

Finally he notices you and gives you a bright wide smile and kisses you on the forehead.

“There’s my girl, how are you today lovely?” He asks sincerely. Looking right into your eyes.

That’s something you love so dearly about him, he always means his questions. He doesn’t ask for the pleasantries, he asks because he truly fucking cares.

But right now, you’re so focused on his attire that you can hardly formulate thoughts, let alone words.

“M-my morning was g-great, how was yours babe?” You ask stuttering and looking at the ground, knowing that you’re getting more turned on by the second and knowing you can’t do anything because you’re at school.

He looks at you strangely because of your response, but chooses to ignore it right now. “My morning was hectic, I woke up late and only had about 10 minutes to get ready for school, I had to choose between eating or brushing my teeth, and I think you’ll be glad to know that I chose to brush my teeth,” He teases with fake pride, “Oh! I also completely wore the wrong shirt, as I’m sure you’ve already noticed, which I appreciate you not saying anything, I’m a wee bit embarrassed by it, but I thought it was mine, but it’s obviously yours, by the time I realized it was too late for me to change.” He says, but then he takes noticed if your flushed cheeks and dilated pupils and he thinks he knows why.

“Y-yeah I noticed, I think you totally r-rock it though.” Y/n says, but Eddie heard her trail off at the end and he smirks to himself. He knew when his girl was turned on, and his girl was soaking through her panties right now, he could practically smell it.

He decided to mess around with her a little bit, knowing that he has the upper hand, which doesn’t usually happen, especially when you have a girlfriend as hot as y/n, usually he’s the one that’s a flustered mess.

“Are you okay love? You’re acting a little goofy.” He says as he trails his finger tips up her side, to her forehead, feigning ignorance as he tries to play it off as checking her temperature. He hears her breath hitch.

“E-eddie, I’m fine, we should hurry though, I-I don’t wanna be late for class.” Y/n says still not making direct eye contact with him.

“I really don’t think you should go, you’re acting strange, how about this, we skip first period and come back for the second class, since we have it together anyways.” He says.

“Where will we go Eddie?” He doesn’t miss that tone in her voice. He doesn’t even think she realizes she has that seductive tone, too horny to control it. It’s also the first time she makes eye contact with him today and he didn’t realize how dark her normally blue iris’s were. God he can’t wait to have her alone.

“Let’s go out in my van and just talk. Have an easy morning.” He says and he can practically see the gears going in her head, knowing that she will finally get some relief.

——————————————————————

They’re out and in the van and Eddie says, “What’s got you so flustered today?” Looking deep in her eyes and tracing hearts around her arm.

Finally in their own private space, Y/n is able to gather her thoughts. “Eddie, that shirt is so fucking hot, you don’t even have a clue do you.”

He smirks at her. “Well I didn’t until you were tumbling over your words and blushing at the mention of my attire.”

She scoffs, “Oh so this whole skipping first period was just a ploy to get me out here in the van.” She bites her lip and Eddie can already feel himself getting hard.

“Don’t act like you didn’t need this baby.” He says and leans in for a kiss which she happily returns.

It gets heated quickly and his tongue is down her throat within seconds.

Y/n quickly maneuvers herself to get on Eddie’s lap, as she’s grinding on his dick, she can feel him getting hard, both of their jeans getting in the way of the friction they’re both now craving.

Eddie moans in her mouth at the movement and she pulls away slightly, “Eddie we should move to the back.”

Eddie starts kissing down her neck. “Why what do we need the extra space for?” He says cockily.

She doesn’t have it in her to play his game, she just knows how badly she needs him right now, “Eddie, please.”

He smirks and a few moments later they find themselves in the back of the van, resuming their previous position.

Y/n pulls her lips from Eddie’s mouth to kiss and suck along his collar bone.

Eddie’s a moaning and panting mess, he’s at full mass right now and his jeans have never been more uncomfortable.

“Oh fuck, y/n baby, I need you so bad.” He moans out loud, and my god his moans are so pretty.

“Oh no, you tricked me out here, at least let me have my fun.” And he’s once again a whimpering mess.

She continues to grind against his dick and finally, she starts kissing at the hem of the shirt. Right where his stomach begins to poke out. He could feel her leaving hickies that will for sure be showing by the time they get back into the school.

She looks up at him just as she pokes her tongue out to lick at the start of his happy trail.

Seeing her like this makes him crazy and he thinks he might cum right in his pants.

He moans again, “Jesus fuck y/n” He moans out as he grabs her hair into a makeshift pony tail. “You’re so fucking good to me baby, so pretty when you’re like this, fuck” He moans out again.

Y/n let’s out a slight chuckle of triumph and begins unbuttoning his jeans. She does it so agonizingly slow.

She slips his jeans off of him and goes back up to his boxer covered dick, which is now standing at full height. She sees the wet spot on his boxers from the precum and she lets out a slight moan, one that does not go missed by Eddie.

She palms his dick though his underwear, “All of this for me? Fuck Eddie, you’re too good to me too.” She says as she kisses his tip through his boxers and Eddie’s hips jolt upward.

He’s a moaning mess, and y/n is positive that she could see a tear forming in his eyes, “Y/n baby please, i’m begging you. I need you to take me.”

“You want me to take you? In my mouth? Right now?” She says mockingly.

He sobs out, “y/n please.” He says and he reaches for the hem of his shirt to take it off, he was so turned on he felt like it was suffocating him.

But y/n stopped him before he could go any further, “leave the shirt on Eddie.” She says seriously, still palming him. He simply nods his head and looks into her, now black with lust eyes.

Within the next few moments, y/n was able to successfully removes his boxers and was now taking Eddie’s thick long cock in her mouth.

He sits up to watch because he loves seeing her like this, he grabs a handful of her hair and ruts up into her mouth, “oh fuck yeah hun, just like that, God you take me so fucking good.”

y/n moans around his dick and looks up at him through her thick eyelashes. Even with her mouth full of his veiny cock, he’s sure he can see a slight smirk on her face.

He jolts up again and she gags when his dick hits the back of her mouth. The blowjob is sloppy and she has spit spilling out on both sides of her mouth.

Eddie’s not sure how much longer he can last, so he quickly pulls her head off and flips her around so that she’s laying down in the back of his van.

He looks down at her and smirks, she’s a heaving, sweaty mess. And he can’t wait to get inside of her.

He takes off her shirt and kisses the top of both her boobs that were still covered in her lacy black bra. He loves the bra and the contrast of the color against her skin so it stays on, at least for today.

He kisses down her stomach similar to how she did to him before and traces his finger tips along her sides, giving her goosebumps.

She wriths beneath him and he’s not sure how much more she can take before she starts begging for it, but if he’s being completely honest, he wants her to beg for it.

He unbuttons her jeans and slips them down and he can see the wet patch in her pink panties.

“Jesus H. Christ, this wet over a shirt?” He says condescendingly at he blows on her covered pussy.

“No, I’m this wet over my extremely sexy boyfriend in said shirt.” She says smartly.

He chuckles and placed a kiss on her stomach. No matter how horny, give her the opportunity and she’ll be a smart ass.

He pulls her underwear down to reveal her pink, wet cunt and he licks his lips.

“So fucking beautiful” He says and traces his tongue up her slit.

She lets out the most pornographic moan that only encourages Eddie further.

He sucks on her clit and laps at her wetness until she is a moaning mess.

However, he wants her to beg for his cock. He wants her to prove how horny she really is for his crop top.

He shoves two fingers into her cunt and starts nipping and licking at her inner thighs. “Tell me what you need baby” He eggs her on.

She moans beneath him and juts up into his fingers.

“You have to use your words honey.” He says with a smirk and looks up at her.

She lets out a frustrated groan, but finally gives into his game, “Eddie I need your cock so fucking bad, please”

He shifts her around on her hand and knees, both of their favorite position, and he shoves his dick deep inside of her tight cunt.

They both let out a moan at the feeling, she could feel him hitting the spots that she needed him to and he could feeling her tightness ready to milk him at any second.

He’s pounding into her from the back with both hands gripping her ass and they’re both a moaning mess.

He could feel his orgasm approaching when she says, “Let me get on top, I wanna fuck you while watching you wear my shirt.”

He thinks he can cum right now if she asked, but eventually they maneuver until she’s on top and he’s looking up at his goddess of a girlfriend.

Her strong thighs are allowing her to move roughly and quickly on his dick and he watches as her tits bounce in her bra and her head is thrown back in pleasure.

He reaches up to cup her boobs and he thrusts his hips to match her pace, making their fucking harder and rougher.

“Oh fuck baby, you ride my cock so fucking good, you’re such a fucking good girl.” She moans out at this dirty talk and he knows that she’s close, so he keeps egging her on.

“Keep going baby, just like that, fucking princess, taking my cock so good in your tight little cunt. You fucking love every second of this. You know what you do to me.” He pulls her bra down so that her nipples are released and he pinched them roughly.

Apparently this is all it took for her cum, because next thing he knows she’s a moaning mess on top of him and he can see her juices flowing out around his cock.

The erotic image of his girlfriend orgasming is enough to send him over the edge and the next thing he knows is that he’s gripping his girlfriend roughly by the hips and fucking hard into her.

He moans out as he shoots his first cum rope into her pussy, but she hops off and finishes him off with her hands.

He watches as the last three ropes shoots up onto y/n’s stomach. It gets all over her hands and some even makes it in her face.

“Oh holy fuck, baby that was the biggest orgasm you ever had.” She says to him with a giggle as she starts playing with the cum in her hand. He moans at the sight of his girlfriend doing this, but he wants to see something else.

“Show me your cunt.” He says out of breath and she sits back and spreads her legs, where he can see her pink pussy glistening with both of their cum.

“Fuck you’re so fucking sexy y/n” He says as he leans forward to kiss her and lick away whatever cum got on her face.

She giggles at the feeling and kisses him back.

“I love you much y/n.” Eddie’s says sincerely.

“I love you, too Eddie, you should wear my shirts more often.” She replies out of breath and they both laugh.

“Where’s that blanket, we need to get cleaned up and get to class.” Y/n says and Eddie rolls his eyes playfully.

“Whatever you say princess.” He says with a wink

———————

They walk back into the school together, hand-in-hand. Just in time for their second period class with Mr. Jameson.

Unfortunately still, Eddie doesn’t have another shirt to wear, and now he has hickies scattered all around his torso, so more people were talking now than they were before, but funnily enough Eddie wasn’t so embarrassed of the shirt anymore.

As they walk into the classroom, Mr. Jameson, looks Eddie up and down in disgust while their classmates talked in whispers behind their hands.

“Mr. Munson, don’t you think your attire today is highly inappropriate?” Mr. Jameson asks.

“My girl doesn’t think so.” Eddie says with a smirk.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie munson smut #perv!eddie

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lovinbarzal · 9 months

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GREATEST LOVE STORY | TZ11

trevor zegras x hughes! sister

masterlist | everytime this silly little country song plays, i can't help but think of trevor!!! idk why but i do lol | part two

They said I was nothing but a troublemaker never up to no good / You were the perfect all American girl wouldn't touch me even if you could

October 2017

Trevor Zegras. Team USA's playboy. Y/N Hughes. Team USA's Golden Girl aka Jack's sister.

The Hughes twins only ever had one rule for each other, FRIENDS ARE OFF LIMITS!. Y/n never had trouble with that rule.

Until Trevor Zegras came into play. Trevor was Jack's best friend and line mate.

The two met in their junior year. Y/n was studying in the living room with The Maze Runner playing in the background. It was quiet in the house. Quinn was at UMICH, her parents were having a date night, and Luke was upstairs probably playing video games. She was enjoying the peace until a group of 5 boys came running into the house. She knew all of them. Matt Boldy, Cole Caufield, Alex Turcotte, her brother, and- Wait...She thought. Who was this other guy?

"Jack!" Y/n exclaimed as the boys jumped all onto the couches crushing her exam books.

"Yes?" Jack innocently turned to his sister who glared at him.

"Mom said no friends." Y/n scolded crossing her arms.

"Hey guys!" Luke said coming down the stairs but was quick to stop as he saw Y/n's glare.

"Luke Warren Hughes, it is past your bedtime. Get your ass back to your room." The boy slowly turned to walk up the stairs before Jack stepped in.

"Luke, it's fine. Come on." Jack waved the boy down before Y/n punched his shoulder.

"No, Jack. I am not getting in trouble because of you." Y/n shook her head.

"Come on, dude. Take a chill pill." The unknown boy said.

"Do I know you? Didn't think so. Do you live here? Also didn't think so. Luke, go to your room." Y/n said pointing to his room.

"Be nice to my friends." Jack said as Luke went up the stairs.

"Whatever, Jack. I'm going upstairs." Y/n gathered her things before turning to the known boy, "I'm sorry for my comments earlier but never disrespect me in my own house."

"Goodnight Alex, Matt, and Cole. Fuck you, Jack." And with that the girl was already gone and up the stairs. Trevor watched as she walked up the stairs.

"What's up with her? She's usually nice." Matt asked as Jack went to change the tv.

"She's probably got a stick up her ass." Jack answered.

"I like it." Trevor said with a goofy smile on his face.

"Good luck with that, Trev. Jack never lets her date any of his teammates plus it looks like she already doesn't like you." Alex said pulling his phone out.

"I love a challenge." Trevor shrugged looking to Jack who rolled his eyes, "Come on, Jack. Let me be the exception."

"What? No. Plus she hates you and doesn't even know your name." Jack explained as he continued to flip through movies.

"How do you know she hates me?" Trevor exclaimed sitting up from his seat.

"She only apologizes after saying something to tell somaeone off if she dislikes you." Cole clarified with a shrug.

"Come on, man. Give me your blessing, Hughesy." Trevor got on his knees in front of the blond.

"Fine, Zegrase. If she falls for you than you have my blessing to date her." Jack shook his head before clicking play on Fast and Furious.

"Yes!" Trevor said pumping his fist in the air.

"Can't believe he just gave a TEAMMATE permission to date his sister." Cole said to Alex.

"That's cause she's not gonna fall for him. They're too different." Jack said as Trevor was doing a happy dance.

God, did Jack hope he was right.

But you was sneaking out your window everynight riding shotgun in my car / We go to the river and find us a spot and we probably went a little too far

Two Weeks Later

"Come on, Y/N/N. One chance! Please!" Trevor begged as Y/n shut her locker.

"No, Trevor." In the last two weeks, she learned his name and was constantly dodging his attempts to get with her. She knew his reputation.

"Please. I'm begging!" He said following her as she walked to her next class.

"Ugh! Fine! One date! That's it. One chance. Don't screw it up." She said before walking into her class. His smile widened as he walked to his class that he shared with Alex.

"What's got you so smiley?" Before Trevor could answer honestly, he received a text.

From: Y/N/N 💓

don't tell anyone. if we're doing this, we're doing it secretly.

"Oh, nothing." He said before replying.

To: Y/N/N💓

whatever you want, doll😉

From: Y/N/N💓

never use that emoji again.

He smiled as he put his phone in his pocket.

From: Trevor Zegras🫤

i'm outside

Y/n took a small breath before climbing out of her window.

She walked down the street to where she told Trevor to park. She wished she brought a jacket as it was cold. She saw Trevor sitting in his car looking at his phone.

He smiled when he saw her walk up to his car.

"Hey." She said getting into the car.

"Hi." He said with a giddy grin.

"Where are we going?" She asked putting her seat belt on.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." He said pulling out from his parking spot.

"Can I play some music?" She asked reaching for the aux cord. Trevor nodded. She played her shared playlist that she had with her brothers thinking Trevor would like some of the songs but of course the first one to play was Taylor Swift's Speak Now.

"Oh my god." Trevor exclaimed as Y/n's eye widened with worry thinking he didn't like the song, "I love Taylor Swift."

Trevor reached to turn the song up and sang along. Y/n watched with a smile. Maybe going on this date with him wouldn't be too bad.

The two continued to sing along to the songs before reaching their destination.

"The Lake?" She questioned looking at the lake in front of her.

"I thought we could have a picnic." He said reaching into his backseat for the basket and blanket.

"And here's this." He added handing her one of his USA hoodies. "You looked cold."

She took the jacket with a smile before putting it on.

"Thanks." The two got out of the car.

Y/n slipped her hand into Trevors making his smile widen as a blush overtook her cheeks.

The two found a spot and ate the snacks that Trevor had packed. The two found themselves getting lost in conversation.

"Thanks for this." Trevor said looking at the girl.

"For what? You're the one who planned everything." She said tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"For saying yes." He said making the girl blush.

"I'm sorry for being so mean to you." She said scooting closer to him.

"It's ok. I was also a bit annoying." He said as the two leaned in.

"It's a bit annoying that you haven't kissed me yet." She said before slamming her lips on his. A simple kissed turned into a make-out which led to more.

By the time Y/n snuck back into her room, it was time for her to get back up for volleyball practice but she didn't even care how tired she was. She was more focused on what was to come with the boy.

Cause I was gonna be your forever / You were gonna be my wife // But I was what you wanted you were what I needed / And we could meet in between / We were gonna be the greatest love story this town had ever seen

Thanksgiving Day 2017

"We need to tell Jack." Trevor said to the girl as she walked back into her room. He was laying on her bed.

"Are you sure?" She said plopping next to him.

"Positive." He said pulling her close to him.

The two sat in silence until she broke it, "You're gonna be my forever"

"And you're gonna be my wife." He replied.

"So you're for real about telling Jack." Trevor nodded and Y/n sat up.

"Let's tell him tomorrow, then. Quinn comes home tonight so then if Jack tries to kill you, Quinn will be there to stop him." She said making her laugh.

"He actually said I had his blessing." Trevor said with a smile.

"Did he really?" She asked with her brows furrowed.

"Yeah. That night I met you. I knew you would be mine." Trevor said pulling her back down next to him.

"We are gonna be the greatest love story this town has ever seen" He said kissing her temple.

So you went off to college and I got a job I was working that 9 to 5

The Draft Day ended up coming faster than the two had thought. The two had been avoiding the question of what would happen when Trevor gets drafted to Anaheim.

Y/n had been accepted to UMich and Trevor was gonna play for Boston before going to the Ducks.

Y/n sat next to Jack while Trevor sat a couple rows back. Y/n was a wear a simple black dress with heels and her hair was pinned back in a half up half down look.

She turned in her sear and sent Trevor a smile as the ceremony started.

As expected, Jack went first overall to the New Jersey Devils. He hugged his twin as soon as his name was called.

Then came the moment that the couple was dreading, Trevor Zegras went 9th overall for the Ducks. As Trevor came down the stairs, Y/n met him and took his jacket as well as gave him a hug.

"We'll talk later." He whispered in her ear and she nodded as he made his way to the stage.

Screaming for the days when you were coming back, no couldn't come to soon

The two called it quits the next day. Trevor was playing for Anaheim and Y/n was studying to become a nurse in Michigan.

The two both knew it had to happen so it was mutual but that didn't mean it didn't hurt the two any less.

They partied that night as if everything was gonna be okay.

They knew fate would bring them back together because both of them knew they were gonna be the greatest love story the world has ever seen.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #x reader #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #hughes! sister

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stryshttu · 10 months

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the scriddler nation doesn't appreciate Riddler 2022 as I do so I'm here to make you love him

He's one of the best interpretations of Riddler and here is WHY.

“he's a desyassified version,” “he doesn't wear expensive suits full of question marks,” “that suit was boring” NO!!!!! IT WAS THE PERFECT SUIT FOR HIM TO START!!! He literally comes from the lowest point, and he talks about how the men in power and corruption keep the low income/poor people at the bottom. Ofc he can't afford those shiny beautiful suits because he doesn't have money for it. Also the military suit was GREAT. He paint it and designed his own symbol which is amazing, a gun sight with a "?" in the center.

Also, he fights againts corruption and classism? 😭 Why would ppl hate that? He fights for the people that were forgotten like him.

“it's not the same story of his father and blah blah blah” ok, they changed his origin story A LOT, and I can get why you get mad at it. I also get mad when I am used to the southern granny Scarecrow story and ppl change it to the story of his father experimenting of him- BUT regarding the Riddler's origin story, it is so so great. Eddie HATES LIES AS WELL, HATES CHEATING, because ppl used to tell him that he could have a better future, and gave him fake hopes. He just wanted an opportunity to be better and when that promise of renewal broke, he broke, too.

He grew wanting to please everyone, be a good boy for the nuns and the other children at the orphanage, even if he didnt agree in somethings or if it was difficult for him to act "normal" (masking his autism- we will talk about that soon), but NOBODY thanked or pleased him. As he got older, he still followed orders from his corrupt boss and the goverment. But what did they do for him? NOTHING. And when he does something for himself ppl tag him as self-centered.

He became the Riddler for the others that also needed help, not only because of him, and ppl still think he's selfish.

He's implied to be autistic (you can notice this more in the comics of Riddler: Year One by Paul Dano), he is non-verbal since kid (canon), as an adult ppl say he doesn't talk and call him weird. He doesn't know how to interact with people in a "normal" way. He also seems to vocally stim with riddles and weird silly noises that you can hear in the movie.

The catholic guilt content? PLEASEEEE. We need to take advantage of that. He even did a catholic reference riddle!!! (That one of the sins of the father)

We can also see that topic of him dont knowing if he's insane or not, (or denying being it). He knows his situation is not good, and HE TRIES to be better, listening to podcast about mindfulness and stay positive- but at the end, everything gets worse to him. He's very smart and is afraid that his biggest and greatest thing about himself (his mind) is also the worst thing and can turn againts himself because of a mental illness. We saw it in the movie when Batman calls him "sick and twisted, etc etc," and he has a mental breakdown. Yes, that scene is DEEPER than you think. His mother died in Arkham when he was in the orphanage as a kid, now imagine that the guy you always admired says to you, “you're gonna die alone at Arkham” just like his mother did and no one cared. He doesn't want that, he wants to be remembered. He doesn't want to end up like his mother- alone and mentally ill.

He makes funny jokes in the movie! He's so goofy!!!!

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIM BEING A BIG BOY?!!!! CHUBBY RIDDLER SUPREMACY!!!!!

And please he has the same bad habits as Arkhamverse Riddler, you cannot hate this version of him if you love Arkham Knight Riddler. He doesn't sleep well because he plays the DETECTIVE role (YES! HE ALSO GOES THERE AND INVESTIGATES- or else how tf would he have evidence of all the corruption and know all that information?) and claims that Einstein only took naps. He doesnt eat well. His lastname is Nashton (a reminder that is canon that Arkhamverse Riddler had the same lastname before changing it to Nygma). And in this page called "nigma. org" is well known and ppl call him a genius, which suggests that we will soon see how he calls himself E. Nygma.

And yes, he is also a little bastard insufferable, and if you dont think so, then I guess we didnt watch the same movie.

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE OF HIM BEING ONE OF THE BEST ONES!!! but i'll end it up here, thank you for your attention.

#sorry if theres bad English i wrote this at night #anyways Riddler 2022 my beloved #no one understands him as i do #riddler #edward nygma #paul dano riddler #riddler 2022 #Reevesverse #scriddler #PLEASE SCRIDDLER NATION OPEN YOUR EYEEEEEEESSSSSSS #steph talks :)

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wannaeatramyeon · 11 months

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hello good afternoon, english is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes😔❤️

I would like to request a hc from the htf guys, How would they react to a very flirtatious reader?

I mean- imagine them bending down to tie their shoelaces and suddenly the reader points at them or tells them that they have a nice butt JUST IMAGINE IT BRO😭

Anon! AND EVERYONE. Please stop apologising for your English. I am a native english speaker, and mine is dogshit. You should also listen to me irl, my vocab is infinitely worse.

HTF Boys responding to "NICE BUTT!"

Taehoon: Oh yeah? Pervert. Why don't you come closer.

This will end in one of three ways

Ignoring you. What? You think you're the first person that has ogled his butt? He knows he has a nice body. Dream on, dipshit.

A harsh kick to the face. Why? Why not. Because you deserve it for being a perv and Taehoon is in one of his moods.

Headlock and a rough kiss, with his hands wandering to pinch your butt.

Wangguk: [blushing]

Not one for being in front of the camera and has a reserved and standoffish nature.

All in all, not used to people simping over him or complimenting him outright.

Doesn't really know what to say, but will take it to heart.

Every time he bends over in front of you (which happens more often that you think for some reason), he will blush and think of your compliment.

It's also sort of hard to miss given that whenever he even thrusts his ass out slightly, you are staring so hard, you're boring holes into it (boring more assholes, if you will).

Munseong: [brain breaks] Th-thanks. I squat 300lbs. I do lower body 3 times a week.

Much like Wangguk, he doesn't really know what to say.

Although he is used to people admiring him from his time in the spotlight with UFC matches.

You telling him he has a nice butt breaks his brain. Breaks it so hard he can't really comprehend what you're saying. He can't even blush.

Defaults to talking about fitness. "Thanks bro, I rep 300lbs. Whats your max?"

Well no, he doesn't call you bro or tell you his max but will ramble a little about his workout routine and then he just...

Trails off and stares at you with soft eyes.

Yeonwoo: *also blushing* thanks Y/N. I squat 350lbs and do hill sprints for fun 🤓

Definitely knows you're flirting with him.

He gets a lot of attention in school and from his old Study channel. Knows the vibe you're putting out.

His first love though is Kyokushin Karate and he WILL use it as an excuse to tell you about his routine.

So passionate about it, eyes sparkling and vibrating with excitement that you can't bring yourself to shut him up.

Better yet. You think he has a nice butt? "Would you like to join me on my hill sprints?"

Hobin: T-thanks! I've been upping my training.

[Internally] SENPAI NOTICED ME!

Jinho: Thank you.

What did you honestly expect from this psychopath?

Gratitude? Blushing? Stammering? Absolutely not. He stays aloof and cool.

You're lucky he didn't just ignore you and remembered his manners.

Seongjun: [does a little booty shake]

Idk man

I'm not even sure he would do that but imagine him with his partner being all goofy.

If you compliment his ass, he would do something silly to make you laugh.

OOC, but isn't the visual too cute to pass up?

Snapper: sorry, you talking to me?

Huh?? Someone is paying Snapper attention? The camera guy?

Freezes when you nod and tell him: "YES. YOU, JIHYEOK. YOU HAVE A NICE BUTT."

Poor guy, so confused. Tilts his head like a lil puppy, unable to understand the words.

(Completely rizzless so no-one has told him that at all.)

Replays it over and over in his head until it hits him that "Oh shit, does Y/N like me?"

Still not sure and thinks it's a mistake until he bends over again and you shout the same thing.

Mangi: Thank you! [blushing furiously] Y-your butt is nice too!🥺

Duh? Of course Mangi has a cute butt. He's adorable and cute all over.

Will return your compliment even if he doesn't think you have a nice butt too because that's just Mangi.

Besides, have you seen Ssireum wrestlers? Built like a TANK. Mangi has got CAKE.

Haesu: ?

"Wake me up when there's food."

[goes back to napping]

263 notes · View notes

stephaniebrownslover · 1 month

Text

Guys I have an idea.

What if I made Jeff The Killer like BoJack Horseman???

Guys don't leave please guysssssss it's so dark hereeeee

Okay now that I think about it, I'll ramble about this a bit.

Either I'm on to something or on something.

Also BH characters as creepypasta characters random BoJack Horseman dialogues as Jeff under the line and how other pastas would react.

And the only Jeff portrait I like is @jeffthekillerzblog 's Jeff because he's like a real life :3

THEIR FIRST TWO LETTER IS SAME THEY'RE THE SAME

...

GUYSSSSSSS TOBY AS TODD JUST IMAGINE

Lol just kidding but I think Toby and Todd would actually get along. Like they would just chill around and build random shit and talk about nonsense stuff. Their silly goofy traits are kinda similar so they would understand each other most of the time. Great minds think alike.

Okay okay let's talk about Jeff Horseman stuff before drifting away the topic.

First of, I think BoJack Horseman is not a character do defend. Yes, he tries to fix his mistakes but it was too late for him. He needed to change before all the shit happened. He needed to go to rehab or therapy before.

I'm not saying it's all his fault but just look at Diane. She had her own trauma and even though she was feeling bad most of the time, she wanted to get better. She worked for it in time instead of BoJack.

Yes, BoJack is a traumatized character but Todd was right about "You can't keep doing shitty thing and then feel bad about it!" because BoJack did this always.

Now back to Jeff. He has a similar trait with BoJack. I think Jeff has BPD most likely and he has serious anger issues. That's not a good mix as you can guess. It causes him to make mistakes and hurt people he actually gives a shit about and even though this makes him feel bad later, he won't do anything about it.

He wants to change, he wants to apologize from Jane and Nina and Liu. He wants to be a better person. He hates this life he build but he's been in this hell so long that he doesn't know a way out. He thinks it's too late for him and for treatment after all the people he killed and hurt.

Just like BoJack but in a different way.

BoJack hurts people close to him mentally and Jeff hurts people close to him both mentally and physically.

They both doesn't want to live their life and they would rather be like anyone else does.

They would hate each other if they met because they would see the other as a mirror. Or something like they could be in an another universe. And this would scare them as hell.

Jeff might be a surface character but I think that's because of his creator portrays him. I have like/hate relationship with him because of how badly he portrayed in almost every work.

He was not a pure evil monster, he was a 13 year old kid with untreated mental issues and body trauma. And no one was there to teach him this was not right since this motherfucker is very stubborn and he killed everyone who could.

Both of them doesn't want to die no matter how shitty their life can became. They want to live. They want to see the next day even though they would hate it. They think they deserve to live after all the things they had gone through.

They want to believe that they have a chance for redemption without caring about their past mistakes.

Also if Jeff would be an animal, he thinks he would be a wolf but he'd actually be a horse. That's like his spirit animal.

Take random BoJack dialogues as Jeff and other pastas' reactions to that.

...

Jeff: Rehab was supposed to be a fresh start. But no matter how many starts I get, there's always the same ending. Everything falls apart, and I end up alone.

Clockwork: Then get a new life man, this shit is not that hard.

Jeff: Shut up bitch! I'm having a moment here!

...

Jeff: Same thing that always happens. You didn't know me. Then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.

Nina: Eat shit and die asshole. You ruined my life.

Jeff: Fucking let me apologize whore!

Nina: Okay. I'm gonna kill this bastard. Don't hold me!

Kate: No one's holding you.

Nina: I said don't hold me!

...

Jeff: I'm the one who has suffered the most because of the actions of Jeffrey Woods.

Jane: What about Liu or Nina or even me?

Jeff: Nah, Liu's fine and he hates you.

Liu: No, I don't.

Jeff: He doesn't know what he's saying. And Nina loooves me.

Nina: No I don't!

Jeff: She's high on my awesomeness.

Jane: Shup the fuck up you dumbass.

...

Jeff: There's gonna be plenty of people around when I kill myself!

Masky: Not me.

Hoodie: Nah, I'll be there to celebrate.

Jeff: I hate all of you.

...

Jeff: Really makes you think, though, huh? Life, right? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die.

Toby: W-who the hell are you?

Jeff: Yeah, you're right.

Toby: I am?

Jeff: Nah.

Toby: Of cour-se I am.

Who wants part 2 for incorrect quotes??

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beetlebug-bii · 11 months

Note

Hello! Can we get the next part in feral child MC please? It's very cute and now I'm excited it's okay if you can't I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I hope you have a wonderful day or night or whatever wherever you are! 😁

Feral Child Mc (unfortunately) Goes To School

A/N: of course! I hope you enjoy, I haven't slept in like two days and its two in the morning so xdtfyg I hope you enjoy starling! also I love your username so much hehehe

Content Warnings: Swearing, mentions of weed, biting, feral behavior written by a dumbass, silly goofy eepy times

REQUESTS ARE OPEN, FEEL FREE TO ASK TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT -- p.s. previous Feral MC story at the end!

Do not ask me

How

You managed

In one week, one measly week

How the FUCK YOU MANAGED TO SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE SIX TIMES

FLOOD IT THRICE

AND SOMEHOW HOT BOX LUCIFER'S ROOM

no okay I know how that last one happened and it was Lucifers breaking point

Let's just say

You and Satan have a very...

Let's say complex relationship

Some days you're so ready to beat the shit out of one another it's a shocker that nobody has died yet

Other days the brothers live in fear

They can hear the two of you scrumbling in the walls desperately, gnawing at the wooden beams and gnashing your teeth at the thought of causing the entire building to crumble, leaving the two of you to sit upon your throne of rubble and bone...

Yeah the brothers DO N O T

Appreciate Big Brother Satan bonding time

Now you would never have thought to hotbox Lucifers room on your own, honestly Satan was pretty surprised you came to him with the idea and even knew what it was and like yeah he was absolutely gonna help you with that shit because it's so fucking funny but still-

Jokes on him

You didnt come up with it

No in fact it was the man in the walls

Which you have explained to the brothers and now all of them live in fear of some fucking guy just living in their walls

Well all except Lucifer for some reason but I digress

One night whilst scrumbling you came across the attic and low and behold there was just some fucking guy in there

And at first you were like

Hello? Whys there a twink in the attic?

Anyways he didnt take too kindly to you saying that bullshit outloud and the two of you argued over whether or not he was a twink for a solid two hours before he just kind of went

Damn are you fucking high on someth-

Wait a minute

Yo kid I just had the best idea

Anyways you didnt quite get it but you were guaranteed that it would be hilarious

And it was

For all of two hours

And then it wasnt

Because Lucifer came down from his high

And got filled with stress again

Like honestly the man probably needs it you did him a favor /j

Anyways

Then you were no longer allowed "free roam without a babysitter"

"No mammon doesnt count"

"No satan doesnt count either"

"You know what, none of you count"

And then you were put on A BABY LEASH

YEAH THATS RIGHT

HARNESS AND ALL

BABY LEASHED RIGHT ALONGSIDE CERBUS AND HIS NORMAL DOG LEASH

AND YOU WERE DRAGGED TO SCHOOL

On the bright side...

At least you're actually a kid

So it's nowhere as embarrassing as it is for Levi to be hooked to the baby leash and dragged to RAD

You arrived and you were so polite

Such an angel to be around

Is what I would say if I were a fucking liar

You got there and were on all cours growling at the other students

You ran into Luke and he TREMBLED

HE YELPED AND LEAPT INTO SIMEONS ARMS

DO YOU KNOW THE PSYCHOLIGICAL DAMAGE YOU JUST DID ON THAT POOR ANGEL

of course you do

you little monster

You spent the entire first hour of class absolutely gnawing on Lucifer's ankle and you could tell he was really holding back from kicking you

And then you had a brilliant idea!!

TEETH BITE

TEETH SHARP

BITE WITH SHARP TEETH

AQUIRE FREEDOM

and thus your chomp chomp mission began, you began tearing at that leash, and eventually your efforts paid off

You were free!!!

MC IS A FREE HUMAN!!!

And so you ran

You ran like your heart depended on it

Luke

Sobbing

Screaming

Crying

Get away from him you tiny psychopath

You came running at him down the hallway and what was he even supposed to do???

HE LITERALLY CRAWLED UP A RANDOM DEMON IN FEAR, THEN JUMPED ONTO THE LOCKERS AND COWERED

of course, you tried climbing up to befriend him

...yeah

he didn't like that

He called Simeon sobbing in a panic while smacking you away with a broom handle

then you stole the broom handle...

THEN YOU STARTED BEATING PEOPLE WITH IT SIMEON

P L E A S E

S E N D

H E L P

Simeon

Hahaha aw

what a sweet little thing you are

you're just a baby human!

awwwe come here sweet ange- AHHHH

WHY ARE YOU BITING

NO BAD HUMAN

NO BITING

He is flailing his hand trying to get you to release your pirannah jaws

This does fucking nothing you are LATCHED ON

YOU ARE GAINING FRIENDS

FRIENDSHIP

LIL BITE

Simeon

had to use his foot

He put his foot on your forehead and just had to kick you off before climbing up with Luke in fear

You were scampering around like a fucking shark

The angels were holding each other, reading off their wills

Barbatos and Diavolo

of course they had to walk down the hallway

right when you started climbing the lockers

causing the angels to scream at the top of their lungs

Diavolo

he couldn't keep it together

LISTEN OKAY DONT GET ME WRONG

HE FEELS BAD THAT THEY ARE AFRAID

BUT ALSO

YOU ARE SO SM A L L

WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING THEY ARE TINY

SOMETIMES THEY BITE THATS NORMAL PROBABLY

ITS CALLED TEETHING

DUMBASSES /affectionate

Barbatos doesn't quite know how to break it to him that...children your age are far past teething age

Nonetheless, Barbatos dealt with Diavolo as a child, how much worse could you be?

...

......

.........

No one

Not a single soul

Will ever bring up this day

if they want to live

He doesn't even know where you got shoelaces

YOUR SHOES ARE VELCRO

MORE THAN THAT HOW DID YOU GET ON HIS SHOULDERS

WHAT FUCKING MOVIES HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING THAT TAUGHT YOU HOW TO PROPERLY CHOKE SOMEONE OUT???

SOMEONE NEEDS TO RESTRICT YOUR FUCKING INTERNET ACCESS

YOUR HIGHNESS, PLEASE STOP FUCKING LAUGHING I AM DYING FRFR

Solomon

dying frfr

wheezing

crying on the floor

he filmed it all

no more than that

he's live streaming

Lucifer is trying to call him

Lmao blocked

He snatched you up and fucking ran

You are his little buddy now

You are taking cover deep in a place where Solomon knows Lucifer would never look for him...

...

......

Kid don't you dare comment that we're in the gym right now

LISTEN

HE IS A NERD

A BOOK NERD

A MAGIC NERD

HE DOESNT REALLY NEED TO GO TO GYM CLASS NOW STFU BEFORE HE LEAVES YOU FOR DEAD

you know how like

in jail you make toilet wine?

well he made toilet teleportation potion

Just in time the two of you crawled in the bowl and flushed, disappearing as the brothers broke in

they'll never find you now

mwahahahaha

time to watch every season of breaking bad

watch and learn kid

watch

and

learn

Previous Feral MC Post:

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hockybish · 2 months

Note

Hello, was wondering if you could do a story about arber xhekaj you can do whatever you want with it. Thank you

okay friend, this is just a little thing. I hope you're okay that I did an oc, I gave her a Norwegian name (for some reason I picture her as someone who was either born in Norway and then made their way to Canada as a kid so they grew up there or her parents immigrated there) (if not let me know I will fix it!) im sure this idea has been done before, but I hope you enjoy.

also slight warning I know nothing really of hospital policies regarding breaks and people bringing in food for love ones or really the Canadian hospital systems, so this is most likely wildly inaccurate. apologies.

The Fighter

l Arber Xhekaj l arber x nurse l masterlist l

Arber loved visiting his girlfriend at her job after a game. He didn't always do it. But if it seemed like it was a slower night he would go in and bring her food.

Like tonight the Habs won their game and he wanted to celebrate a little with his girl, so he stopped by her favorite place and grabbed them both some take out and snagged a couple of boxes for her co workers to enjoy.

When he got to the hospital, he was able to head on into their little break area and she was in shortly after.

"You've been fighting again, haven't you?" she pursed her lips, she didn't even have to look at him to know he had black and blue marks surrounding his eye.

She couldn't watch the game, but there was this pep in his step that he only got when he dropped the gloves in a game and she noticed it when he stopped by the hospital after the match up to join her on her break.

"Silly it was nothing. I was just doing my job." He pulled away after giving her a kiss on the cheek, tired of having this argument with his girlfriend.

He knew she didn't like all the hitting and fighting he did during games, but that was his thing. He was the sheriff, someone you didn't want to mess with, a force to be reckoned with. He defended and stood up for his teammates.

"I know but Arber, you don't always have to be the one to do it. There are others." She lectured the hard hitter, her voice grew softer with each passing word. "I just worry about you, okay? There's all this research with concussions and lasting effects and not to mention other the other-"

"Stop. I'm done having this conversation. Can we just enjoy the food I brought before you get called away again, please?" The hockey play pleaded.

"Did you guys win tonight?" Silje changed the tone of the conversation, he was right. It was useless trying to convince someone of something they were never going to change.

"Did you score?" She asked already knowing the answer was going to be no, but she was mildly surprised when he shook his head yes. He's a defenceman, scoring wasn't the biggest part of his job, but when he did it was nice touch.

Getting up she move to sit in his lap, she lifted his chin so she could give him a kiss. She was still so proud of him doing what he loved to and living out his dreams.

Silje immediately threw herself into bed when she got home. She was exhausted from running around all night. And to top it off after he had left there was a big accident in which one of her patients didn't make it.

She was ready for sleep, but Arber was still up and he had something he wanted to say. He had thought about what she said at the hospital.

"I'm sorry babe. I know you don't like the fighting, it's apart of my identity as a player. But I try and do better. I can't promise I'll stop but I'll do better." He made the broken promise.

"That's all I ask." Silly smiled her goofy smile.

Silje had a few minutes left on her break and she was watching what was left of the Habs home game against the Tampa Bay Lighting, Cole just accepted a big hit into side boards and second later she noticed Arber heading toward the offender. She sighed and turned off her phone not really wanting to watch any more. Plus she really needed to go back.

"Silly, it's your turn, there's an ambulance coming in hot with a live one." the desk informed her.

Silje groaned getting up from her spot, following the others out to the main ambulance entrance waiting for the arrival of their next patient.

"Any info?" She got goosebumps while waiting outside, she rubbed her hand over her arms in an attempt to keep warm.

"It's a hockey player coming from the bell centre." She nodded along paying more attention to getting stuff ready for the incoming patient than to what was being said, but she happened to catch the place they were coming from.

"What did you say?" She couldn't breathe. This wasn't happening. Her worst nightmare couldn't be coming true. He promised he would be careful. No.

Silje began to cry when the emergency vehicle arrive and they brought out the injured player. She screamed when she saw his face and dark hair.

Let me know what you think

#arber xhekaj #arber xhekaj x oc #arber x silje #arber xhekaj blurb #nhl blurb #nhl imagine

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 4 months

Note

THE TEXT CONVOS !! I hope it looks ok. I left spaces between the texts (ALSO THANK U FOR THE REQUEST 💗 ) 💺 anon

🍊) My little (brat) princess

🍒: Buy pads please!! 🍊: Already did, anything else that may satisfy her majesty? ❤️

🍊: Hi pretty. Can't find my tie, did you took it? It's the navy one 🍒: No, must've been your side chick :( 🍊: Please tell me you're joking 🍒: I'm not 🍊: Woman I practically worship the ground you walk on 🍒: Screenshotting this to Lem. Also your tie is with me :) 🍊: You two got jokes huh

🍒: Pretty women called "sleepless nights worried about my husband" is waiting for me in bed 🍊: Not tonight love. Coming home in 5

🍊: What kind of streets do ghosts hunt? 🍊: Dead ends

🍊: Really want to shoot him in the head 🍒: What are you talking about? 🍊: He's so fucking cocky huh? 🍒: Ladybug? He's not doing anything 🍊: That "we should all order some food" sounded pretty flirty to me 🍒: You deserve the electric chair

🍊: Are you from Mississippi? Cause you're the only miss who's piss I'll sippie [You blocked this contact]

🍊: That nob better stop touching your shoulder before I give him a lobotomy 🍊: Got the "little off the top" looking haircut 🍒: HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER 🍊: He should see an optometrist since he clearly didn't notice the ring on your finger 🍒: I told him I have a husband 5 times already but he said "it doesn't matter", so I gave him your number 🍊: That's my girl

🍒: [1 image attached] 🍊: Oh my fucking god 🍊: God took his time with you

🍒: Would you be mad at me if I punched you in the face? 🍊: What's the context love? Are we making out and you just started beating me up? 🍒: Why would I EVER do that??? 🍊: You tell me, you were the one who asked. 🍊: Wait you might actually be onto someting here love 🍒: THATS IT, SEX BAN 🍊: WHAT

🍒: What is taking you so long? 🍊: Lady at the cashier won't leave me alone 🍒: Please hurry up I want you to eat me out :( [Tan reacted with ❤️] 🍒: Tell her "husband duties are calling"

🍋) Silly goofy guy

🍋: I'm really over here with Aristotle talking about plumbs and farmers and shit

🍒: Did you actually got into a fight with that Kimura guy just because he said he didn't like my tie? 🍋: Cherry defender first, human second

🍋: Bro is not listening to me 🤼‍♂️ 🍒: I'll hear you out on Henrys 🍋: [voice message: 42:33]

🍋: Got bored so I drew you 🍋: [1 image attached] 🍒: Thanks !! 🍒: Why do I have 3 fingers on each hand though? 🍋: I stole the other four

🍒: Are the cookies you left for me a prank? 🍋: Are they that bad? 🍒: What?? No!! Of course not!! 😊 I loved them!! 🫶 🍋: I got a feeling you're being sarcastic

🍋: Tan said nobody likes lemons 🍒: I'll kill him

🍒: The bartender asked for my phone number 🍋: BOOOOOO 📢📢 every time 🍒: I gave him Tan's number. Wanna catfish him? 🍋: LETS GO I LOVE THE WAY YOU THINK

🍊🍋🍒) The fruit bowl

🍊: The group name is stupid 🍋: IT'S GENIUS 🍒: It's literally what we are 🍊: I think I should've named the group so it wouldn't be something stupid 🍋: "Tangerines are sophisticated" This you❓ 🍒: Point and laugh 🫵🤣 🍊: Piss off

🍋: I burned the pasta 🍊: You can cook? 🍋: I tried 🍊: Never do it again 🍋: Piss off at least I wasn't the one who dropped the pod on the floor 🍒: This is why you two aren't allowed in my kitchen

🍊: I'm just saying, relationships should be 50/50 🍊: She looks pretty, while I growl at anyone who looks at her 🍋: It's getting harder and harder to defend you 🍒: People are gonna think you're insane 🍋: He is

🍋: [1 image attached, it's a selfie of us three] 🍋: BOY WE SEE THEM BABY BLUES 🍒: I swear people don't even say bless you anymore, they just stare at you like that 🍊: Do you two ever stop to think about what you're saying? 🍋: No 😼 🍒: Nope 🍊: It shows

yeah no kidding you aced the shit out of these!!! and they are so fun to read !! I definitely get what you mean now by them being fun😭

LOVE LOVE LOVED them all but these have gotta be my faves

THIS ONE??? had my cracking up. was still thinking about it and laughing to myself ages after reading 😭😭

little off the top and the ring comment 😭

and giving the guy tan number and him saying that’s my girl🫠

god took his time with you??? melting

WHY IS THAT SO ACCURATE!!! lemon definitely sends really long voice messages and spams with videos. like he’s giving you mini personal vlogs😭😭😭 he just starts talking about the most random shit walking around the house. “… yeah they said his car is fucked— no way. I just found this.” and holds it out to the camera and then he carries on with whatever he was saying before

I feel like he struggled to draw all 10 fingers and got fed up so gave you simpson hands instead

#ask #💺#tangerine #tangerine headcanon #lemon #tangerine and lemon

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strawhatkia · 7 months

Text

sunspot lover.

INCLUDES ! zenitsu agatsuma x black!fem!reader

GENRE ! fluff

SYNOPSIS ! general relationship hcs for zenitsu

WARNINGS ! demon slayer!reader, mention of killing (demons), cursing, me slandering zeni a bit cause he’s an idiot, lowkey crack treated seriously, me having to do extra research to figure out how a black person’s hair would survive in the taisho period with fucking demons, edited!

WORD COUNT ! 1.4k

A/N ! repost from an old account ! i love writing for zenitsu despite the slander i give him, dude's a really good character! now onwards my beautiful black zeni luvr, read and enjoy!! (present a/n: honestly i'm down to write a drabble on the hair part where zenitsu helps you grow it back and it's symbolic and everything...i just might do that)

reblogs and comments are welcomed and loved, so leave some please ! i will respond ! 🤍

MAIN MASTERLIST | DEMON SLAYER MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

— ☾⋆⁺₊ 🗣⚡✧

yup! this is YOUR silly, goofy ass man right here!

can't even deny him with the way he follows you around like a lost puppy

now as much I slander him, I do love him and his personality.... no really! i do!...he's just a lil extra sometimes

everyone was shocked when he bragged about copping you…or however they say it in the taisho era…what is it? courting you?

how did this silly fool who can’t even stand on his own two feet at times, get someone as beautiful and as strong as you?

but anywho, you do love zeni with all your heart no matter what anyone says

tanjiro was slightly confused (as everyone else was too) but glad that his friend had found a partner and inosuke…could careless, he just wants to fight but you’ll grow on him

meetin’ nezuko with him was too much for his lil girl crazy heart to handle; “two goregous girls!! in the same area as me!! this might be heaven!!”

remember how he was chasing nezuko around? yeaaaa.....he’s doing that to the both of you now...

“zenitsu, sit down somewhere and stop chasing us you fool!!” “aw, don’t be like that! you love me, we’re together! and me and nezuko are good friends, aren’t we?” *concerned nezuko noises*

once he gets you in his hold, he’s not letting go for anything, not even for missions to which you scowl at him for

“ahh~ you smell so nice and you’re so warm and-” “zenitsu we have to go! you know, to kill the demons?” “noooo!~ i wanna stay here and cuddle with you!” “…..” “HEY! WHAT’S WITH THE FACE!! DON’T MAKE THAT FACE- ALRIGHT! FINE! I’M GOING!!”

don’t be too harsh, he really cares about your opinion of him and, at times, finds himself getting insecure about your relationship

it's not that he truly cares what other people have to say about your relationship but it does hurt that he hears it a good chunk of the time

just gently hold his face and tell him that you love him very much, he really needs it

be careful though cause he’ll get really dramatic and loud and go “ha! you hear that guys! my girlfriend thinks i am amazing and she told me loves me!” or go bright red and now you have a koala that is determined to cling to you, crying into your haori

…a drama queen but he’s your drama queen

he’s can’t ever keep his hands to himself and absolutely loves PDA

now listen sis, you gotta make a choice during meetings; it’s either you let him stay clinging to you and kinda disrupt the meeting or restrain him….but he’ll look like you just tore open his heart drama queen

please at least let him hold your hand or he’ll get worse as the meeting continues and now he’s just depressed

he is really dependent on your affection, you can get him to do anything and i mean anything

“zenitsu, if you go in there and kill at least two demons then i promise to hold you the entire night when we sleep” *he’s a new man now…a man with purpose, a man with dedication!* “for you, my love, anything.”

.... yea, it’s definitely that serious

speaking of sleeping, he loves sleeping on your chest, close to your heart with his ear right on top of it

with his super good hearing abilities, he likes to listen to your resting heart rate to fall asleep and it works like a charm

he listens so closely that everything else drowns out, it's his favorite sound in the whole world second only to your voice

he memorizes what you’re heart beat sounds like and uses that memory to peacefully fall asleep when he’s away on missions

or conversely, he taps his chest in the same rhythm as your heartbeat when he needs help calming down during missions

he could hear your very presence and immediately know it was you since he’s memorized that as well

“ Oh heeeyyyy y/nnnn!” “zeni, how did you know it was me? i was 15 feet away from the door.” “i memorized your resting heart beat so I just knew it was you!!” *heart squeeze*

during missions, it truly is the thought of you that gets him through the worst of it and immediately after he's done, he's rushing through most of japan to get back to you im sobbing pls he's so cute

he has a knack for doing and saying romantic shit randomly and not noticing how smooth he really is

“you know…i really love you and i’m glad you’re still with me. I want to spend a long time with you, whether it be killing demons or just settling down, i’d follow you anywhere”

now imagine he said that with a nice, warm smile and soft eyes, looking directly at you

and now all of a sudden, he's a lil poet im-

he just…loves you very much and is a total simp

now onto the part i am dreading…wash day

face it, we are in the taisho era in 'ye olden japan', ain’t no conditioner or shampoos or products at all made for your hair

HOWEVER!! there is aloe vera and many different herbs you can find and thank god for that!

just ask shinobu for help on making it and voila! you have shampoo and conditioner made from aloe vera and other herbs that shinobu herself made!! do not worry black woman, your curls are saved!

with that being said, zenitsu heard about it and when you explained to him that your hair is different and requires more care, he was on top of it!

whenever your products are running low, he's the first one to go to the butterfly mansion to ask for a refill! especially, if you've gone on a mission, he diligently checks those bottles to see how much you have left and makes sure they're full before you come back

he had always loved your curls, always playing with it to help him calm down or just as a stim

learning to take care of your hair was actually quite simple although he did mess up a few times but nothing you can’t fix

he really loves to take his time brushing out all the knots and absolutely loves when you melt into him anytime he massages your scalp during shampooing

he really loves to take care of you no matter but doing your hair is like his favorite pastime, you're relaxed, safe away from demons, and he feels like he's filling out his boyfriend role

when you guys have time, you both sit together and do finger coils or twist each curl and then he’ll sit with you on a windy hill to help it dry or just fan you until it's dry enough man of dedication

he really loves wash day and counts down the days since you last washed your hair to make sure he's there when it is time to wash it

even if you're a lazy natural, if you let him because he really really really really wants to, he'll just do your hair by himself

but for plot sake, let’s say you both go on a mission and you're forced to cut your hair short because it's caught in a demon's grasp

whether it bothered you or not doesn't really matter because he is pissed

fun fact! in 'ye olden japan', a girl's hair means a lot but mainly that they are loved and cared for so when cut, it basically means that that she has been banished or rejected from her home to the streets

now to put that all into context, zenitsu is livid and worries that people will think you're loved at home by him. that demon gets the beating of a lifetime before it's killed but even then he's really upset and blames himself

it's a whole thing but he just really cares about you is all.

but to wrap it all up, he’d do anything for you and to this day he always thanks you for staying with him and for loving him the way you do, he appreciates you more than you think

oh! and when he saw gramps again, he told him everything about you and as he was leaving, he declared “hey, gramps! by the time i come back, the girl i was talking about will be my wife and then you’ll get to see her!! i know you’ll love her!!”

i’m so fucking soft

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#— kia writes !#— luvr season !#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #black reader #x black reader #x black!reader #black!reader #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer smut #demon slayer angst #zenitsu agatsuma #demon slayer zenitsu #kny zenitsu #zenitsu x reader #zenitsu fluff

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chzdavmpr · 2 months

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Goodnight Punpun Reading Diary Volume 2

Content Warning: I try to avoid going in detail about the more explicit parts of this story, but this does book gets real explicit for a while, so I'll still warn here that this post will discuss a plot point about abuse and sexualization of a minor. Also if you plan on reading this book yourself PLEASE LOOK UP THE TRIGGER WARNINGS FIRST CAUSE THAT'S JUST THE ONE I CAN'T AVOID TALKING ABOUT

Theory: perhaps "God" represents a part of Punpun's inner thoughts. (Note: I tend to be pretty bad at picking up on themes and symbolism in a story before finishing it, so for some of you that statement is probably pretty obvious.)

There's 2 of him now???

With the wager Punpun and Yaguchi set up it's very much them ignoring Aiko being her own person, but for different reasons. For Punpun he's in his incel arc but for Yaguchi it very much he more has his own issues in how he sees himself that he needs to overcome before he's ready for any relationship.

In volume 1 I thought Punpun's uncle was a chill dude, but he not only has a pretty cynical outlook at life, but he thinks his own sister should die just for having armpit hair, but gets off to a vhs labeled "high school hotties" and now I think I hate him. [Note from after finishing the volume: it get's worse. Now I 100% hate him]

Ok so either we are getting guy-with-afro lore that he works the this karaoke bar, or he's just a gag character that the author puts everywhere for no reason

Uh oh. UH OH. I see where this flashback is going STOP USING THE SAME WORDS YOU USED FOR THE POTTERY TO DESCRIBE THE 16 YEAR OLD!

As of the end of "part 3" I am very uncomfy. And that's probably the point, it forces the reader to be like "that's fucked up" and then look back at that whole date scene that was played mostly wholesome and say "this whole situation is fucked up" (which they probably should have already but the legacy of Scott Pilgrim has taught that you can never be too obvious with this stuff).

They have a lot of zoom ins on Yuichi's eyes in the scene where he brings- what's her name again (checks list of important characters at beginning of part 4) oh shit her name hasn't even been said. That makes this even worse then I thought.

Back to the point though, the scene in Yuichi's apartment has a lot of zoom ins on his eyes being drawn in a more human and realistic manner. I think this is to remove that "goofiness that undercut the darkness" I talked about for Vol 1. If this scene played out and was constantly showing Yuichi as a little bird in a crude artstyle it would make it easier to look past the monstrous behaviour of him by writing him off as "silly." But I feel the author really wants you to stew in the uncomfortability of this so that you really grasp that Yuichi is a bad guy.

Since Yuichi is the one telling this story, I wonder if he's lying about any details, in particular I wonder if he did actually go all the way with the 16 year old. I hope I'm wrong, but there is a chane.

WHY THE HELL IS THE CAFE GIRL STILL INTERESTED IN HIM? Honestly that makes me highly suspicious of her, cause I don't buy "love at first sight" for an appropriate motive to still be interested in a guy significantly older then you, who you've gone on ONE date with, who just told THAT story. Honestly I hope that there's more to her motive cause if not I will be honestly disappointed in that character writing.

Wait the guy who attempted to murder the mom and then set himself on fire isn't either dead or in prison? He's just fine?

The appearance of another "God" who is a different face raises a lot of questions and I don't think I have enough info to piece together an answer rn.

It's definitely healthier then being dead, but this relationship with Yuichi and cafe-girl doesn't seem healthy at all.

"God" opened his eyes. I wonder what that could mean.

So it looks like there will be a 2-year timeskip at the end of each book. Assuming Punpun was like 8 in Vol 1 he'll be like 20 in the last. Interesting.

Closing thought on the volume: This is honestly more what I expected going into Volume 1. I would no longer call this a "dark comedy." We are in full on dark drama now, just with some goofy elements.

Looking back at my notes I had a whole lot more to say about Yuichi's story then I did Punpun's, and I'm trying to think about why that is. Cause Punpun's story is one which I feel I probably should have more to say about but most of the time I'm just kinda along for the ride and don't end up having much to write notes about. The only thing I can think of that I probably could comment on is how Yaguchi is like the only morally good character (except maybe cafe-girl) in this whole volume.

I think part of this is that Punpun himself isn't really the strongest character to me. I know about him, how he feels, what he wants, but him rarely talking and has almost non-existent body language so his scenes flow weird. He can't really bounce off the other characters. I hope that by the end of this story I have less of an issue with this.

While reading this volume I also, as an exercise to get better at media literacy, tried to ask "what is Goodnight Punpun about?" What is the main thing this story is trying to tell? My conclusion so far is that I have no idea. My best guess is it has something to do with how being surrounded by negative influence can make someone worse. Which I guess isn't the worst first attempt at figuring out the theme. But with later reading diaries we'll check back in with this theme and see if it holds up.

Also I realized I only used 1 image for this, and it was for basically a background detail. I should be more liberal with them next time.

#chz reads #manga #reading diary #goodnight punpun

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abloomingsunflower · 11 months

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Unpopular opinions.. :,)

[TW!! Mentions of pedophilia, abuse and rape]

1- Honestly? I absolutely despise Crescent x Palette. This is the one thing I really hate about Crest, him showing romantic love towards a FUCKING MINOR- Otherwise he's a pretty great guy, but did he really have to catch feelings for Palette? He's freaking 25 for fucks sake.

"God did say, love is love.."

"And jail is jail."

I fucking ADORE Lux for saying that! <3 Though she is the villain in this story, she did the right thing for once and stood up against this. What in the world would possibly make pedophilia okay?!

The fact Palette reciprocates though..And even ended up dating him in another timeline.

I'm sorry, it's just- ew.. I'm glad he stops hanging out with Crescent but I hate the fact he still does like the priest. Crescent should honestly put his morals before his desires and get rid of his feelings for Palette.

I know I made this ship happen in the Good Ending of Sunflower AU, but it was only for lore purposes for this ending's future arc. Imagine it like a choice in a videogame, that leads to a certain route: Palette chooses Crescent, thus Arti becomes queen and ends up catching the Hanahaki disease, out of her love for Palette. And now Crescent has left too and she can't handle all the stress of being all by herself. And this is where Neon steps in to save Artemis.

Other than that, I absolutely hate this ship and it makes me super uncomfortable. Also one of the reasons why the Good Ending isn't canon.

I feel terrible for making it canon in the good ending but I need that future arc lore man- Or, yk, might change stuff. That seems like the better option.

2-Believe it or not, I actually started to like Killer.

She's portrayed pretty well, and her reactions to trauma seem very realistic to me.

I would react that way if I was tricked that my son was a monster that killed my other son. I would be in shambles mentally and always on guard if I experienced the same traumas Killer did.

While indeed, I don't find her mean comments pleasant, can I really blame her? She never asked to be put in this situation and she was already mentally unstable before Cor.Nightmare suddenly fell for her and forced his way into her.

She's trying to be a good mother to kids that remind her too much of her abuser. (-Merciless I guess.)

Like..damn. This woman has gone through a lot already, she deserves some peace and hope.

Hehe..get it?

:,)

3-Sometimes I wish Cross and Cor.Nightmare didn't do such huge fuck-ups.

I..honestly don't know what to think of them. I shouldn't like them. They've both done the most unforgiving stuff ever and I fucking hate them for that.

I feel bad for Cor.Nightmare due to what he endured in the past, he reminds me so much of Mateo from that Homesick webtoon. I just- have mixed feelings towards Corrupted. I HATE ITTTT..-

And Cross? If it weren't for the fact that he genuinely seems like that one uncle who's fucked up BADLY and was kicked out of the family but somewhat does regret everything he's done, and that in The Sunflower AU I ship him with Albedo/Wicked, he'd be dead to me-

I feel like a horrible person for SORT OF tolerating these two..UGHHH-

4- This isn't really an opinion, more like a question- I've always wondered, WHY is Lux so mad at Palette that she wants him dead? Like- what is going on, what did he do that did so much damage?

Passive definitely has part in this mess, that's for sure. And I know Palette was a bratty kid at the time who always spouted bad words unknowingly, because that's how small his brain was back then- Was the situation THAT bad..?- Like- Damn-

5-And finally, I want to express my genuine opinion on Drop's crush on Merciless..

WHO IS TEACHING HER THESE STUFF- Istfg if it is Goth encouraging her I won't be surprised- I am sending the nuclear bombs on that white-haired Karen-looking bitch

I am in my silly goofy mood right now and I feel like DESTROYING-

Someone, anyone, for the love of god, please, she's precious, but fucking get these stuff out of the 10 year old's brain-

Merciless, Ink, Dream, Hope, PALETTE, I am looking at you, tell her this is wrong- Don't let her become like her future self in E.L.A's good ending- Please- SOBS-

Anywho, yes I wish Drop didn't like Merciless romantically and try to get his attention like that..- But she's just a kid, maybe she'll learn in the Surprise Ending..-

E.L.A and all it's characters belong to @anotherrosesthatfell

I was in my silly goofy mood, Rose- I don't mean to insult, just pointing out some stuff I don't like in E.L.A. Other than these, I think the AU and characters are pretty well-written.

#a sunflower in full bloom au #evil lux au #too lazy to put other tags.#unpopular opinions?

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villafordefeatedvillains · 11 months

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♫ for a hlvrv episode 2 Gordon of your choice (:

Oh. You don't know what kind of hell you've just unleashed. Smiles back. Leading Light/The Pink Weasel: Okay he's literally just Applause by Lady Gaga. No need to explain this one but I will anyway. First of all, the Gaga connection to True Leading Light. Second of all, Applause is about how the singer is dependent on their fans loving them and how they're nothing if they can't put on a good show. I don't need to explain this any further. Dr. Hypnos: Just Take My Wallet by Jack Stauber! He misses the good times. He's a sad bitch despite his overconfident facade! He brought back his Team, Sleepless is his boyfie, but because Sleepless was never redeemed, there's a schism between him and the rest of his Team, one he fears he'll never be able to fix...Ah, shit, this might just be True Hypnos as well. Specifically thinking the lyrics of "Your mama's cryin' / Your mama's cryin' for you" (referring to how his Coomer thinks he hates him) and "What's the kindest way to say / You took away my friend, my buddy / What's the kindest way to say / The end?" (referring to how he lost his team, but then when he got them back, things weren't the same anymore between them). Power Trip/Hot Pink Bitch Named Breakfast: Problem by Set It Off! What can I say except it's harsh, it's angry, and if you read the lyrics it's about a guy in a toxic relationship. He wants to be free but keeps coming back to destructive people, or in this case, destructive tendencies. Power Trip doesn't know what to do now that the game's been abandoned. He's pissed off. He's been used, left to rot, and the only sentient beings anywhere near him hate and fear him in equal parts. This could also be the other members of his Team @ him as well! Perhaps a mutual hate song. Overlord: Flowers on the Wall by the Statler Brothers. This song was a part of our childhood and despite the goofiness, I think it fits. Basically, premise is that there's this guy isolating himself and keeping himself in a loop of short-term good things to distract himself, or at least that's how I interpret it. Sound familiar? Especially the beginning lyrics of "I keep hearin' / You're concerned / About my happiness". People are worried about him. Despite everything, at least some of his Team are worried for him, and he doesn't know that Neo was worried too. But he keeps himself in the cycle of hurting others for a short-term serotonin boost because he doesn't know what else to do. Storyteller: Deep Sea Detective by the Gentle Mystics. The middle part of this song is also a little silly goofy but the intro and outro are VERY Storyteller. Just take a gander: "Please take my hand and guide me / Infinity is living inside me / Go with the flow it'll guide me / Infinity is living inside me". Yeah. Storyteller doesn't know that G-Man is bad news. In his mind, he still depends upon the G-Man to do anything. Yes, G-man allowed him a little bit of freedom to exit the void, but more like a dog on a leash than anything close to the freedom that Freeman has. In addition, Storyteller's job is... Telling stories! Yeah, he does stuff for G-Man, but he tells stories. And a good storyteller has a lot of stories to tell... Maybe even infinite ones? BONUS ROUND! Me, since I feel like you know who my source is now anyway: It would be really easy to go with You're Nothing Without Me. So I'm not doing that. Instead, I'm just putting my favorite song on here and stretching myself thin trying to make it fit! Presenting Dogwalk by Creep-P! It's loud. It's angry. It's chaotic. It's perfect. Specifically thinking of the pre-chorus here, which consists of "Leash laws, bitch / I'll fuckin' maul ya / I'm an old dog, bitch / I'll show you tricks you never seen before!" And I sure did show the assortment of Gordons some new tricks! They didn't know what was coming for them, I'll tell you that. BONUS ROUND FOR THE BONUS ROUND: G-VRV, Circa Episode 2: The entirety of the soundtrack for the movie Rio. He's building his illegal bird smuggling empire and getting his tan on. /j

#answered #long post #m.txt #resort rambles

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maguro13-2 · 3 months

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Ichigo : Okay...Back about over a year ago in season 3. I still don't get it, I told everyone saying that we came to save Rukia from being executed and then here's the problem. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING OF GETTING HER KILLED OFF FROM THE SHOW!? ARE YOU NUTS!?

Byakuya : Woah! Just before you know it, I didn't mind to be a little something about hurting any feelings that we all planned into. And you just wanted throw a hissy fit at me?

Ichigo : AIZEN WAS THE ONE WHO TRICKED ALL OF YOU INTO KILLING RUKIA OFF THE SHOW AND EVERYONE WAS SO PISSED OFF ABOUT IT! What was the point of fighting over Rukia, what started this incident!

Byakuya : Apparently, Aizen played us all for fools, and it turns out that he wasn't killed by Rukia, and he was playing a magic trick when Momo realizes that it was just a prank, and we were bamboozled by this idiot.

Ichigo : ...You mean we've been fighting over Rukia to be saved or to be killed in the middle of the incident, to realized that AIZEN HAS BEEN PRANKING ALL OF US FROM THE START!?!

Byakuya : Yes, and also, he ate all of the cookie crisp cereal.

Rukia : That was my favorite cereal of the day! I eat that for breakfast every morning! Of course he ate my freaking cereal and I was going to eat it! But thanks to you, I never realized that I thought that I was the criminal, but I have been never played by a fool that wanted me to get me killed off the show! Some nerves of people that I was going to hell for that. (hears Aizen eating bowl of fruity pebbles)

Aizen : Uhh, what? What's everyone looking at?

Orihime : Hey! That's my fruity pebbles! I was going to eat that for breakfast!

Aizen : Uhh, IT'S MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! [laughs hysterically] *SA1 SFX : Dash Panel*

Oirhime : Hey! Come back here with my cereal! *SA1 SFX : Dash Panel*

Ichigo : Oh this is nuts. First saving Rukia from being killed off the show, now this fighting over Kids' cereal! What's the point of saving Rukia or saving everyone's breakfast this morning?

Renji : Hey, guys! I just got back from the market!

Ichigo : Now what?

Rukia : *pig squealing*

Ichigo : Hey, Rukia, are you okay? It feels like that Renji has a surprise for you or something that--*SA1 SFX : Dash Panel*

Rukia : GIVE ME SOME CEREAL!!! I NEED CEREAL!!!

Renji : I got a brand new box of Cookie Crisp cereal for each and--Huh?

Rukia : I NEED IIIIIIIT!!!

Renji : Oh shi-(gets into a fight cloud) NO, RUKIA! NO! STOP! RUKIA! PLEASE! STOP! THAT'S MY ARM! MY ONE GOOD ARM!

Rukia : JUST GIVE ME MY CEREAL! I NEED IT FOR BREAKFREAST!!! IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY!!!

Renji : NO, RUKIA! LET GO! LET GO!

Orihime : Come back here with my Fruity Pebbles! Give it to me! Just give it me!

Aizen :I don't think so!~

Orihime : Just get me back my cereal! (stops and grab Ichigo by shoulders) IF I CAN'T GET MY CEREAL BACK, I'M GONNA CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS, WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE CEREAL! I WANT MY CEREAL BAAAAACK!!! *SA1 SFX : DASH PANEL*

Ichigo : Why did I even think about saving Rukia from being killed off the show? (looks at Yoruichi eating a bowl of Chex)

Yoruichi : What? I'm just eating. Also, try getting some Honey Smacks cereal at your local market.

Ichigo : I'm going to a ramen shop to eat some noodles.

Yachiru : Hey, guys! What I missed!? I was just eating some Trix Cereal. But this sillly Asian rabbit would not to bother me.

Kenpachi : Uhh, Yachiru, that's Asian Trix.

Yachiru : Uh-oh! Umm, silly Rabbit? Trix are for kids? (laughs nervously) Did I get that right?

Asian Rabbit : YOU SHARE! *KICK!*

(bird chirping)

Yachiru : (goofy voice) Okay, I understand about Asian Trix! They're wildly dangerous for eating. (falls back)

Kenpachi : Nuts.

[iris out]

Cheese : I LIKE CEREAL!!!

All : NOOOOOOO!!!

[KABOOM!]

#bleach #shounen jump #studio pierrot #tv tokyo #anime #manga #comedy #funny #humor

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pesterloglog · 6 months

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John Egbert, Jade Harley, Jaspersprite

Act 6, page 5283-5307

JOHN: jade...

JADE: hm?

JOHN: i think i just realized something.

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!!

JADE: whaaat

JADE: but you love this movie!

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: i mean... i thought i did.

JOHN: it's been kind of a long time since i last saw it. i really remember it being a lot better than this!

JOHN: but now everything just seems so cheesy and stupid.

JADE: but you were making such a big deal about finally getting me to watch it with you on your birthday!

JADE: you were going on and on about how i wouldnt be disappointed... but now youre saying you dont like it?

JOHN: i don't know. i'm trying to like it. i WANT to like it.

JOHN: i want to feel the same magic that was there all the other times i watched it.

JOHN: but i can't, because...

JOHN: it's just...

JOHN: not...

JOHN: good. :(

JADE: really?

JADE: i was actually kind of enjoying it!

JADE: its very silly

JADE: i really dont think its the kind of movie youre supposed to take all that seriously john

JOHN: but i DID take it seriously!!!

JOHN: i guess maybe that's kind of the point.

JOHN: i always thought all this hokey bullshit was legitimately awesome and compelling.

JOHN: what was i even thinking!

JADE: i dunno....

JADE: but people can change their minds about things

JADE: i think youre allowed to change your mind about a silly movie

JADE: i used to LOVE the squiddles show when i was really young

JADE: but as i got older i started to realize it wasnt as great as i thought it was

JADE: i was just too young to see how it was actually a flagrant vehicle for selling merchandise

JADE: and if you believed the conspiracy theorists it might have even been pushing some other dark hidden agendas.....

JADE: so i stopped liking the show itself as much but that didnt change the fact that i had a lot of fond memories about it

JADE: i still loved all the cute characters and could enjoy it on a nostalgic level

JOHN: well, maybe later i'll be able to rekindle some nostalgic feelings about it.

JOHN: but right now, i just feel like a dope for talking this up so hard.

JADE: what is even the problem with it?

JADE: ive just been watching this and thinking, yup, i can see why john was so obsessed with this movie...

JADE: its funny!

JOHN: it's just non stop terrible action movie cliches!

JOHN: look.

JOHN: i love nic cage. he is basically my hero, ok?

JOHN: but i'm kind of just realizing now that he is EMBARRASSINGLY BAD in this movie!

JOHN: he is just doing this corny parody of a southern guy who is down on his luck, and acts "charming" with his goofy accent and stuff.

JOHN: some things i used to think were so badass are just coming off as ridiculous now.

JOHN: can you believe that one time we were watching this movie, when he said "put the bunny back in the box" i actually high fived my dad?

JOHN: this time that line just made me roll my eyes.

JOHN: there's so much crappy dialogue!

JOHN: "cyrus, this is your barbecue, and it tastes good..." arrgh!

JADE: but he was trying to sound like a hardened criminal to win the trust of john malkovich!

JOHN: jade, please. it was a cheesy line, don't be so naive.

JADE: what!!

JADE: you spent your whole life worshiping this dumb movie and now youre calling ME naive????

JOHN: ok, i'm sorry. i guess in fairness to you, you have only just begun to climb the steep learning curve of this vexing and hypnotic film.

JOHN: but i am no longer bound by its spell, jade.

JADE: oh god

JADE: vexing and hypnotic??

JADE: its a movie full of explosions about a guy with a mullet

JADE: what is with you lately? you seem to be in such a crappy mood these days

JOHN: i am fine. this MOVIE is what's crappy these days.

JADE: oh bluh bluh

JADE: can we just finish the rest of the movie?

JADE: look you made us miss a whole bunch of stuff!

JADE: hang on im going to rewind it...

JOHN: who even cares what we missed.

JOHN: just cameron stupid poe in his idiot wife beater babbling some more southern home spun heroic nonsense.

JOHN: heart of gold my ass!!!!!

JOHN: everything dave ever said about this movie was right! i can't believe i used to think he was just trolling me.

JOHN: the stupid junkyard scene where cyrus makes a little model out of rocks and stuff, just so he could tell the criminals to surround some army guys and shoot them... that was pointless!

JOHN: and all this heavy handed scoring. oh my god. the music makes every little thing into such a federal issue!

JOHN: like... oh man, SOME MINOR CHARACTERS BEING INTRODUCED IN SLOW MOTION! dun-dun dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!!!

JOHN: there. now you officially know they are all badasses.

JOHN: also, i somehow didn't even remember dave chappelle being in this movie. he was pointless too.

JADE: whos dave chappelle?

JOHN: and you know the malloy guy, the dick head cop who we're supposed to hate, because of how he gives john cusack a hard time and makes asshole decisions with a helicopter?

JOHN: well screw that! he wasn't so bad. so what if he was a little grumpy? he was just trying to do his job. he had one of the best lines in the movie actually, which was another thing we were supposed to hate him for.

JOHN: what was it? about how cusack was probably out saving a tree and recycling his sandals or some shit? HAHAHA! now that i think about it, i fucking LOVE malloy.

JOHN: i'm going to rewind it to watch that scene again...

JADE: no!!!

JADE: dont touch the remote

JOHN: oh, and we're supposed to be like "YEAH" when cusack wrecks malloy's awesome sports car.

JOHN: but that was a nice car! john cusack shouldn't have ruined it like that for laughs.

JOHN: i know *I* wasn't laughing, were you?

JADE: YES :p

JOHN: john cusack was such a terrible character in this movie now that i think about it. i don't really get what he added to it?

JOHN: he was like the second hero... but dorkier? what did he even really do? he scampered around the junkyard for a while goofing off, and then when it was his time to shine...

JOHN: HE DEMONSTRATED HIS MASTERY OVER HEAVY MACHINERY! wow, he can operate a crane! i am thrilled by the exploits of this pedantic weenie.

JOHN: i guess he's actually like cage's estranged sidekick? almost like the robin that batman never realized he had.

JOHN: now that i think about it, this movie was always an oddly poignant tale of bromance between cage and cusack. just two bros separated by destiny, waiting to be united.

JOHN: when they finally come together to kick some ass, it is arguably more moving than when he reunites with his wife and daughter!

JOHN: i wonder if i'll think that scene sucks now too? it used to move me to tears, but now i'll probably think it's so lame, i'm almost afraid to watch it. maybe i should try to leave at least SOME memories untainted.

JADE: john you are kind of sounding like a crazy person here

JOHN: yeah right! crazy like a fOWWW!

JADE: what???

JOHN: oh...

JOHN: i guess there was a stray feather clinging to my pajamas and it just poked me in the ass.

JOHN: god damn dave sprite.

JOHN: that guy molts like it's going out of style.

JADE: oh...

JADE: heh

JADE: yeah

JOHN: where is he anyway?

JOHN: i specifically told dave sprite several times when my party would start, because i knew he would do this.

JOHN: he's already missed half the movie!

JADE: why do you always call him dave sprite?

JOHN: um... because that's his name?

JOHN: dave sprite.

JADE: no, i mean why do you always say it like that? with the space between words?

JADE: its not dave sprite, its just davesprite

JOHN: what ever.

JOHN: i can't believe he's standing me up on my birthday.

JOHN: maybe he doesn't want to hang out with jaspers?

JOHN: jaspers, i hope you're not going to start chasing him around again when he gets here.

JASPERSPRITE: Hisssss!

JOHN: dude, shut up.

JADE: yeah.... john

JADE: i dont think davesprite is coming tonight

JOHN: aw, man. really?

JOHN: i knew we shouldn't have invited both him and jaspers.

JOHN: that's just party planning BASICS.

JADE: no...

JADE: it has nothing to do with jaspers

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: then why?

JADE: he uh...

JADE: kind of broke up with me

JOHN: what!!!

JOHN: when did that happen?

JADE: a couple days ago

JOHN: no. no way.

JOHN: i cannot accept this!

JADE: john its ok you dont have t...

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like the glue holding everything together on this miserable road trip!

JADE: we were?

JOHN: yes, jade.

JOHN: you were our rock.

JADE: your rock??

JADE: what are you talking about?

JOHN: come on, jade.

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like... an INSTITUTION on this stupid golden battleship.

JADE: we were not an institution!

JADE: you are just saying meaningless things now

JOHN: why did he break up with you?!

JADE: um...

JADE: its complicated

JADE: basically hes just going through a lot of stuff right now

JOHN: stuff??

JOHN: what stuff.

JOHN: jade, we are all going through stuff. you don't see me flying off the handle and breaking up with MY girlfriend.

JADE: do uh...

JADE: you have a girlfriend?

JOHN: that is not the point.

JOHN: the point is that dave sprite is a douche.

JADE: i dont think hes a douche, hes just...

JOHN: no, he's an orange feathery douche.

JOHN: why is he such a basket case? he's like regular dave, but like, aloof enigma edition.

JOHN: maybe it's because he's part bird? i think becoming a bird and a sprite did something weird to him.

JADE: i dont think being a bird ever bothered him

JADE: like i said... its all more complicated than that

JOHN: normal dave was so much more level headed.

JOHN: i have to admit, i spend a lot of time wondering what he and rose are up to.

JADE: me too

JOHN: ehh...

JOHN: maybe it's for the best he broke up with you.

JADE: why?

JOHN: well, what kind of future do you think you would have with him?

JOHN: he's a sprite. like really, what even is a sprite? how long do they live? will he still be around if we win the new game we are allegedly trying to get to?

JADE: i dont know

JOHN: there are a lot of things we don't know.

JOHN: and also...

JOHN: how do things even work if you marry a sprite?

JADE: what do you mean

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: ok, he has a ghost butt, for one thing.

JADE: uh

JADE: so

JOHN: a GHOST BUTT, jade!

JADE: SO WHAT IF HE HAS A GHOST BUTT!!!!!

JOHN: i'm just saying...

JADE: WHATEVER YOURE JUST SAYING, JUST STOP SAYING IT!

JADE: and whatever youre trying to gesture with your hands there, stop doing that too!

JOHN: what? no, i was just...

JADE: nope!!! totally not talking about this

JOHN: but

JADE: put your hands down john

JOHN: ok, fine.

JADE: thats not down, thats up!

JADE: oh well, at least youre not making those unsettling gestures...

JADE: john...

JADE: what are you doing?

JOHN: nothing!

JADE: i hope youre not entertaining some awkward train of thought about, uh...

JOHN: no!!!

JADE: what is with you??

JADE: today is your birthday, youre supposed to be having fun!

JADE: but youve been so testy, as if youre committed to not having a good time

JOHN: well, maybe i'm just getting a little tired of being stuck on this lame boat!

JOHN: don't you think it's gotten kind of old?

JADE: yeah, i can see how you might find it a little slow here

JADE: i dunno, i havent minded much... maybe its different for me though because i used to live all alone?

JOHN: oh sure, i'm sure it's GREAT for you. you get to spend your days smooching and breaking up with dave sprite and what not, and you can shrink down to any old planet you feel like, any time. whereas i have to make this whole big deal of ASKING you to shrink or unshrink me, and...

JADE: but i dont mind doing that any time!!!

JOHN: i know, but you think i want to bug you about that at the drop of a hat? when you're busy and on dates and stuff? i just happen to have respect for something called PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, jade.

JOHN: and it's not like there's really anyone else to talk to, except the inscrutable chess people and a bunch of brainless consorts and an idiot cat princess. oh and also nanna, but i mean, she's my grandmother, and she's great, but a guy can only spend so much quality time with his grandmother before he starts to feel like kind of a loser whose friends are too busy to spend time with him!

JADE: john... if you told me this earlier i would have...

JOHN: and i still never visit any interesting dream bubbles, and we can't even finish our cool planet quests because the moment we broke through the window all our denizens decided to go back to sleep, and...

JOHN: i guess what i'm saying is, i'm MORE than ready to get to the other window and meet our friends and other new people and stuff.

JOHN: are you sure you can't make the ship go faster???

JADE: were already going as fast as i can make us go

JOHN: and how fast is that again?

JADE: about the speed of light!

JOHN: well, can't you use your space powers and bump it up a notch?

JADE: no! nothing can go faster than light john

JADE: unless you teleport of course

JOHN: and why can't you teleport us again?

JADE: i already explained this! i cant do that here, its not within the domain of the green sun which gives me those powers!

JOHN: is that why we can't go faster than light either?

JADE: no thats just a regular law of physics!!! jeez

JOHN: ok, i mean, i know that. but this isn't really a regular place, right?

JOHN: isn't the speed of light like a thousand miles a second? so what does that really mean here? are miles and seconds the same here as on earth? how does this nonsense dimension we're racing through jive with all the relativity mumbo jumbo?

JADE: ok first of all, thats not even close to the speed of light

JADE: light travels at a hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second no matter what frame of reference youre in... even this one!

JADE: second of all special relativity and comparing laws of physics between different frames of reference, those are tricky issues to talk about!

JADE: but id be more than happy to talk about them if youd like. actually i would enjoy that because i never really get to talk about science wi...

JOHN: no, i don't want to talk about physics! i don't know anything about the laws of physics, because they are hard and boring.

JOHN: i simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! is that really asking too much?

JADE: yes as a matter of fact it is!

JOHN: well, guess what? SCIENCE IS STUPID BULLSHIT!!!

JADE: you take that back!!!!!

JOHN: no.

JOHN: magic is awesome.

JOHN: science blows.

JOHN: the end.

JADE: john.....

JADE: what is that?

JOHN: what?

JADE: under your hood...

JADE: looks like a piece of paper stuck to your back?

JOHN: huh?

JOHN: oh god dammit.

JOHN: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!

JOHN: THAT BASTARD!!!

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS IS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS.

JADE: what is it??

JOHN: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.

JOHN: IT IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!

JOHN: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

JADE: where are you going?

JOHN: I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS!

JADE: what! john, no...

JOHN: POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE???

JOHN: AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE??????

JOHN: THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE!

JADE: ok yes, that practical joke is in poor taste, but you should try to calm down and...

JOHN: NO, SCREW THAT, I AM SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!

JOHN: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, AND THAT IS WITH AN OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN.

JOHN: WHERE'S MY HAMMER!!!!!

JADE: um

JADE: which one?

JOHN: ANY OLD HAMMER!

JOHN: WHATEVER. IT COULD BE A HAMMER FROM THE BARGAIN BIN OF A HARDWARE STORE FOR ALL I CARE.

JOHN: JUST GIVE ME ANYTHING THAT'S FIT FOR CLOBBERING A GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE WHO'S ALSO A BIRD.

JADE: sigh

JOHN: I'M COMING FOR YOU, DAVE SPRITE!

JOHN: DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU MAGICAL SON OF A BITCH? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!

JOHN: THAT STUNT WASN'T COOL! *YOU'RE* NOT COOL!

JOHN: LIKE IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH YOU DUMPED JADE FOR NO REASON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!

JOHN: YOU AND JADE WERE OUR ROCK ON THIS SHIP! YOU HEAR ME?? OUR ROOOOOOOOCK!!!

JADE: :|

JOHN: AND NOW *THIS* BULLSHIT??? WHAT THE HELL, MAN.

JOHN: I DON'T GO AROUND LEAVING FAKE PUZZLES FOR YOU LIKE FROM THE MOVIE SAW, DO I? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME SAY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME EVEN *ONCE*?? WELL, HAVE YOU????

JOHN: NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD STIR UP PAINFUL MEMORIES OF A DEARLY DEPARTED LOVED ONE, AND THEREFORE WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY OF ME!!!!!!!!

JOHN: HEY! I SEE YOU THERE!

JOHN: GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW, WISE GUY!

JOHN: OH NO, DON'T PLAY DUMB. I CAN SEE YOU PLAIN AS DAY. I'M ON TO YOU, BUDDY.

JOHN: STOP VAGUELY WATERMARKING THE SKY WITH YOUR SMUG DOUCHEY FACE THIS INSTANT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!!!

JOHN: YEAH SURE, LAUGH IT UP! THAT MAKES YOU SEEM LIKE WAY LESS OF A TOOL. NICE GOING BRO!

JOHN: EVERYONE ON THIS BOAT IS SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT! WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE?

JOHN: HOW CAN YOU BE SO MUCH MORE OF A PRICK THAN THE REAL DAVE? YOU ARE THE MOST PISS POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR A BEST FRIEND A GUY EVER HAD.

JOHN: I CAN'T *WAIT* TO MEET UP WITH THE REAL DAVE AGAIN. THAT WAY WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO THE AWESOME STATUS QUO OF PRETENDING YOU NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

JADE: john...

JADE: theres no one there

JOHN: oh he's THERE alright.

JOHN: he's probably just using some sprite magic so only i can see him.

JOHN: don't you see, jade? he's antagonizing ME PERSONALLY, not you. he's done with you, remember?

JOHN: he already used you like a rented mule, and now he is moving on to greener pastures.

JADE: what pastures

JOHN: it's me.

JOHN: I'M the pastures.

JOHN: and now his mule is grazing all over them, while he has a good laugh.

JADE: what

JADE: wasnt i supposed to be the mule?

JADE: i dont think i understand your analogy

JOHN: no, you see, it's...

JOHN: the mule represented, like...

JOHN: i don't know, like the spirit animal of his douchey ways. or something.

JADE: ....

JOHN: augh, WHO CAAARES.

JOHN: who cares about mules, or pastures, or dave sprite's stupid ephemeral sky visage.

JOHN: who cares about anything!!!

JOHN: who cares about my birthday, or nic cage, or this boat full of idiots.

JOHN: JUST.

JOHN: WHO.

JOHN: CARES.

JADE: john i think youre officially throwing a tantrum here

JADE: ...

JADE: john?

JADE: john...

JADE: are you asleep?

JADE: please dont tell me you just fell asleep in your driveway

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