pesterloglog
Pesterlog log
Find all Homestuck/Homestuck Epilogues/Homestuck^2 pesterlogs, sorted by characters, acts, and pages. Fully updated as of 4/19/24
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Rose Lalonde, Dirk Strider
Act 1, page 610-614
ROSEBOT: Looks like you're getting pretty good at motivational speaking.
DIRK: Well someone needed to shake the rust off of her.
DIRK: She's getting nerves.
DIRK: Right before the big game.
DIRK: We're never gonna make it to nationals at this rate.
ROSEBOT: Ah, fuck. The sports.
ROSEBOT: How quickly I forgot them.
DIRK: There's gotta be some kind of sports penalty, for forgetting the sports.
ROSEBOT: Oh, definitely.
ROSEBOT: I've been very bad and I need to be punished, to preserve the integrity of the sports.
DIRK: Let me just slip into my jackass sports judge mime outfit and get to laying down the fucking sports law.
ROSEBOT and DIRK: Let's stop saying sports.
DIRK and ROSEBOT: Agreed.
DIRK: Speaking of outfits, though, look at you.
ROSEBOT: You like it?
DIRK: It's chic.
DIRK: I dig the return of the hood.
DIRK: You could deliver a whole hell of a lot of cryptic prophecies out from under that sucker.
ROSEBOT: Yes, well, I figured that if I'm to appear before our chosen peoples as a harbinger of their simultaneous doom and salvation, I may as well look the part.
DIRK: Do you feel the part?
ROSEBOT: It doesn't really matter what I feel.
ROSEBOT: We have a job to do, and I'm trying to enjoy myself to the best of my ability while we do it.
DIRK: Trying, huh.
ROSEBOT: Speaking frankly, I've grown tired of...
ROSEBOT: This.
ROSEBOT: Fussing over all the tedious minutiae of getting the baby's room ready.
ROSEBOT: The prospect of this Contest was entertaining to me for a time, but the longer it drags on, the closer we draw to the due date, the more it... repulses me.
ROSEBOT: I'm glad you've agreed that we're basically done tinkering here. I don't think I have much more patience for it.
DIRK: I can tell.
ROSEBOT: I'm also glad you've elected to hear Terezi out vis-a-vis the timeskip and save us the hassle of guiding the Deltritans manually.
ROSEBOT: I know it must be hard for you.
ROSEBOT: Dirk?
ROSEBOT: Dirk.
DIRK: Sorry.
DIRK: Got caught up with something.
ROSEBOT: Far be it from me to stand between you and your enigmatic somethings.
DIRK: You're welcome to stand wherever you like.
DIRK: Anyway, no, it isn't that hard for me.
DIRK: It'd be fun, but as I keep having to explain to people, I'm willing to compromise on certain points.
DIRK: Though I will say it's unfortunate to hear you making them, instead of our complainer on retainer.
ROSEBOT: What can I say?
ROSEBOT: I don't feel particularly inclined to play house right now.
DIRK: Not even with me, huh?
ROSEBOT: Not even with you.
ROSE: Thank you for taking me with you, Dirk.
DIRK: Yeah?
ROSE: I may be less than enchanted with this stage of the work, but I know it's important.
ROSE: It's just straying dangerously close to a lot of things I'm trying not to fixate on right now.
ROSE: Wounds that are still fresh, for me as a sum and for the myriad legions of my parts.
ROSE: Home.
ROSE: Family.
ROSE: Petty, little things.
ROSE: Personal things.
DIRK: Those are important, too.
ROSE: Not as important as this is.
ROSE: For all my temporary discomfort with the prospect of settling down on Deltritus and starting what could very loosely be considered a family with you, I want you to know that my heart is in what we're working towards-
DIRK: Technically, you don't have a heart.
ROSE: Shut up.
ROSE: - and that I'm happy to be here with you.
ROSE: Not drifting around in a constrictive, small pond, getting caught up in trivialities like politics and celebrity and romance,
ROSE: But saving the fucking universe.
DIRK: ...
DIRK: Well.
DIRK: You're welcome.
DIRK: I don't think there's anyone I'd rather be doing this with than you.
DIRK: The rest of them just don't have it in them right now to understand what it is we're fighting for, here.
DIRK: They can't grasp the stakes.
DIRK: Even now, they're on their way here, actively trying to stop us from saving them all.
DIRK: They'll probably catch us right before our entrance into the Game, actually.
DIRK: I won't insult you by asking if you're going to be okay when the time comes to face them, demanding answers they won't accept to questions they aren't even asking, because I know that you will.
DIRK: So I'm glad to have you with me.
DIRK: I'm glad you understand.
DIRK: I'm doing this for all of us.
#homestuck#homestuck^2#homestuck^2 act 1#rose lalonde#rosebot#dirk strider#page 610#page 611#page 612#page 613#page 614
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Terezi Pyrope, Dirk Strider
Act 1, page 606-608
TEREZI: D1RK
TEREZI: *D1RK*
DIRK: What.
TEREZI: YOU 4R3 DO1NG TH3 TH1NG, *4G41N*
TEREZI: 4ND WH4TS WORS3 1S TH4T 1NST34D OF 4T L34ST H4V1NG TH3 D3C3NCY TO SPOUT OFF 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG N3W OR 1NT3R3ST1NG
TEREZI: YOU H4V3 1NST34D CHOS3N TO W4T3RBO4RD TH3 R4W N3UR4L T1SSU3 OF MY TH1NKP4N W1TH 4N 4CR1D 4ND SUP3RFLUOUSLY OV3RC4RBON4T3D N4RR4T1V3 R3C4P DUMP
DIRK: Well, it's a recap for *you*.
DIRK: But for those who haven't checked in on us in a while, it's more of a stage-setting thing.
TEREZI: 1TS B4S1C4LLY 4 R3C4P FOR TH3M TOO, 1D1OT
TEREZI: YOUR 1N4B1L1TY TO SHUT UP 3V3N 4S YOU 4CT1V3LY CH4MP1ON TH3 N33D TO G3T TH1NGS MOV1NG WOULD B3 4LMOST 4W3-1NSP1R1NG 1F 1T W4SNT SO 4STOUND1NGLY OBNOX1OUS
TEREZI: Y3S, YOU P3TTY V1ND1CT1V3 J3RK, 1 WOULD V4STLY PR3F3R TH4T
TEREZI: 3SP3C14LLY G1V3N TH4T 1T 1S SOM3TH1NG YOU 3XPL1C1TLY PROM1S3D M3 TH4T W3 WOULD B3 4BL3 TO DO
DIRK: And we will.
DIRK: After Rose and I release our progeny into the Deltritus wilds, the three of us are going to timeskip forward ten thousand years or so, so that we don't have to sit around twiddling our thumbs like assholes and waiting for our respective species to become sufficiently advanced.
DIRK: Even I'm not so much of a micromanager that I'd be able to keep myself entertained for millennia with only Deltritus to play with.
DIRK: Nobody has the patience for that.
DIRK: Besides, we have other important shit to get to.
DIRK: Also, you'd probably die of old age.
TEREZI: 1M 4BOUT TO D13 OF BOR3DOM *R1GHT NOW*
TEREZI: SO 1F YOUR3 F1N1SH3D MONOLOGU1NG 4ND L3CTUR1NG 4ND G3N3R4LLY B31NG 4 S3LF-S4T1SF13D P4PR1K4 PR1CK
TEREZI: 1TD B3 GR4ND OF YOU TO DROP YOUR K1DS OFF 4T TH3 D4WN OF TH31R C1V1L1Z4T1ONS, F1R3 UP YOUR BULLSH1T M4CH1N3, 4ND L4UNCH US TO TH3 B3G1NN1NG OF TH3 N3W S3SS1ON L1CK3TY-SP1T
DIRK: It's "lickety-split". Yuck.
DIRK: Anyway, I'm pretty much done monologuing, but I've got a bit more lecturing and self-satisfied paprika prickery in me, so you're going to have to sit tight for a bit longer.
TEREZI: BL3GH
DIRK: Don't you BL3GH me.
DIRK: You think you can just roll up to my grand commencement speech and interrupt my triumphant expository flex-sesh without taking some of the heat?
DIRK: Lest you forget, you've actually got a pretty important role to play in all this.
DIRK: Taking up the helm at the command terminal, guiding the Deltritan civilizations slowly but surely towards the Game.
DIRK: A role Rose tells me you've chosen to automate.
TEREZI: Y3P
DIRK: ...
TEREZI: ...
DIRK: ...
TEREZI: WH4T >:[
DIRK: It's just a little disappointing, is all.
DIRK: Rose and I put so much work into whipping up some zany, adorable, kind of fucked up little dudes.
DIRK: The least you could do is attempt to give a shit about how they turn out.
DIRK: Or was all that hand-wringing about how worried you were that Rose and I were becoming big bad cosmic tyrants with no regard for the poor little mortals buffeted to and fro by the vicious momentum of our designs just virtue signaling?
DIRK: Or worse... foreplay?
DIRK: Wow.
DIRK: Pretty low, Terezi.
DIRK: I expected a lot better of you.
TEREZI: TH4T JOK3Y-BUT-NOT-R34LLY F4M1L14L GU1LT-TR1P MOOSH1T M4N3UV3R M1GHT WORK ON ROS3
DIRK: It doesn't.
TEREZI: BUT 1T DO3SNT M34N SH1T TO M3
DIRK: It does.
DIRK: Not that I needed to bust it out for you.
DIRK: I know you wouldn't just abandon the Deltritans to the cruel march of time and whatever scant preparation you imagine we gave them.
DIRK: You don't trust Rose or I to give enough of a fuck about them, and despite your occasional protestations, you are, for the most part, too good a person to just turn your back on them and let whatever happens happens.
DIRK: I trust that the automated suggestions you put in place, and the conditional map that prompts them, were thought through with an honestly touching amount of care, considering your misgivings.
DIRK: There's no doubt in my mind that even if Rose and I hadn't already basically knocked this creationism shit out of the park, the sons and/or daughters of Deltritus would make it to the Game just fine with even the barest phantom of your counsel.
DIRK: That's why I'm allowing you to do this at all.
TEREZI: 1 DONT N33D YOUR P3RM1SS1ON
Wrong.
TEREZI: OH FUCK YOU
DIRK: And for the record, you're also wrong in your assertion that we don't care about them.
DIRK: We do.
DIRK: I do, at any rate.
TEREZI: Y34H YOUR P4T3RN4L G3N3ROS1TY KNOWS NO BOUNDS
TEREZI: 4NYON3 WOULD B3 GR4T3FUL TO H4V3 4 B3N3VOL3NT CR34TOR L1K3 YOU
TEREZI: ON3 TH4TLL ULT1M4T3LY 3NSUR3 TH31R 3NT1R3 PL4N3T 1S ORB1T4LLY BOMB4RD3D 4ND TH31R SP3C13S 4LL BUT DR1V3N 3XT1NCT S4V3 FOR 4 F3W "LUCKY" JUV3N1L3S
DIRK: That's just how this shit goes down for species *lucky* enough to fucking *matter*, Terezi.
DIRK: Circle of life. Hakuna Matata. Que sera, sera.
DIRK: And you know it.
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW SH1T
DIRK: Plato, nice.
DIRK: All this hate on philosophizing, yet here you are busting out the certified classics to counter my rhetoric.
TEREZI: UGH
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW WHO PL4TO 1S BUT 1F "1 DONT KNOW SH1T" 1S TH3 B3ST H3 H4D TO OFF3R H3 COULDNT H4V3 B33N TH4T WORTH STUDY1NG
DIRK: Plato was actually pretty badass, but we're straying from the point.
DIRK: Originally, the plan was to pop in every couple hundred years to check on the Deltritan races' progress and to give you a bit of time to guide them manually.
DIRK: Which I maintain would have been pretty fun, and would encourage you (probably fruitlessly) to consider giving a go.
DIRK: But hey, you say you aren't feeling it?
DIRK: Fine.
DIRK: I can make concessions.
DIRK: I've got other agents in play, and as I've said, I know you aren't going to risk fucking your end of the work up.
TEREZI: HOW C4N YOU B3 SUR3
TEREZI: M4YB3 3XT3ND3D PROX1M1TY TO STR1LOND3 D3LUS1ONS OF GR4ND3UR H4S DR1V3N M3 TO TH3 BR34K1NG PO1NT
TEREZI: M4YB3 1M JUST L4Y1NG LOW
TEREZI: 34RN1NG YOUR TRUST SO 1 C4N COMPL3T3LY RU1N YOUR PL4NS FOR 4NOTH3R S3SS1ON
TEREZI: DO1NG 4LL 1 C4N TO TURN SK414S 4TT3NT1ON 3LS3WH3R3 4ND D1SQU4L1FY TH1S PL4N3T 4S 4 C4ND1D4T3
TEREZI: NOT ONLY TO PROT3CT TH3 UNTOLD M1LL1ONS OF FUTUR3 D3LTR1T4NS YOU PL4N TO PULV3R1Z3
TEREZI: BUT 4LSO FOR TH3 S4T1SF4CT1ON OF SH4TT3R1NG TH4T STO1C D34DP4N OF YOURS
TEREZI: 1F JUST FOR ON3 D3L1C1OUS MOM3NT
DIRK: Must feel pretty good to imagine, huh?
DIRK: But you won't.
DIRK: I'm sure, Terezi, because if you did, I'd just have to take you out of the picture and start again.
DIRK: Not that you value your own life that much right now, though you really should, but you and I both know you aren't here because I need you.
DIRK: You're here because you need me.
DIRK: You need this session to happen.
DIRK: You need a chance to fix the mistake you've got in that wallet, burning a hole through your pocket.
DIRK: You've made a lot of those, Terezi, but you know that besides being important, what we're doing here is a chance to rectify one of them.
DIRK: And you aren't going to let that chance slip.
TEREZI: ...
DIRK: I know what it's like to make hard choices for the people you care about.
DIRK: To run your brain raw thinking about how to make things right.
DIRK: I've been doing it my whole damn life.
DIRK: The choice you're presented with here is pretty fucking easy, and you're a very smart person, so I trust you to make the right decision.
DIRK: That's all. I don't really feel like pontificating at you any more.
TEREZI: ...
TEREZI: GR34T
DIRK: We're getting ready to kick this thing off, so all I have left to ask you is
DIRK: Do you think you've done everything you need to do to prepare the terminal?
DIRK: We're counting on you.
DIRK: He's counting on you.
TEREZI: Y34H Y34H >:[
TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NGS S3T UP
TEREZI: 1 DONT F33L L1K3 B31NG PONT1F1C4T3D 4T 4NYMOR3 31TH3R SO 1M L34V1NG
TEREZI: ONC3 YOU 4ND ROS3 G3T DON3 PH1LOSOPH1Z1NG 34CH OTH3R L3T M3 KNOW SO W3 C4N G3T TH1S BULLSH1T T1M3SK1P OV3R 4ND DON3 W1TH
TEREZI: 1LL B3 1N MY FUCK1NG CH4MB3RS
DIRK: These are shared chambers, but whatever.
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Calliope, Roxy Lalonde, Jade Harley, Kanaya Maryam
Page 596-600
calliope: i never left.
CALLIOPE: GAAAAAHH!!!
ROXY: callie chillax
ROXY: how did she sneak up behind us like that while shes glowing like a christmas tree
calliope: i do not sneak. i was always behind/before/alongside you.
calliope: i am always alongside/behind/before you.
calliope: i simply made my presence known to you.
JADE: what are you doing here!
calliope: to make a correction to my counterpart's assertion.
calliope: you believe the current appearance of the Home is due to the actions of the prince.
calliope: that is a half truth, the root of the issue is far deeper than that.
calliope: though the prince's actions have exacerbated the damage, they are not its origin point.
calliope: it's due to the beliefs and desires of those far beyond even my grasp.
calliope: it is all that we are/were and its current form is representative of what those outsiders think we are/should be
calliope: this Home, in its current form, has become abominable.
ROXY: idk i think it looks kinda cool
calliope: it is not cool.
calliope: it is an eyesore and worse, its purpose has become obfuscated, form plagued with an ever-expanding amalgamation of wings, and rooms, and atriums, and winding exhibition halls.
calliope: all uncurated, thoughtlessly tacked on to accommodate garish, self-indulgent new installations.
ROXY: and stairs
calliope: and stairs.
ROXY: it keeps happenin huh
calliope: yes.
calliope: it keeps happening.
JADE: (har har har)
calliope: although i doubt it can be restored to its original state, the growth can be curbed.
calliope: with or without your assistance, these antics can be brought to a satisfying and hopefully timely conclusion.
calliope: the prince thwarted, the renovations finished, and the rest of the recalcitrant furniture bolted neatly back into its place.
JADE: are you calling us fucking furniture?
ROXY: whos the couch
KANAYA: Shut Up
ROXY: sorry
KANAYA: Calliope
CALLIOPE: hm?
KANAYA: No Not You The Dead One
KANAYA: The Alternate Calliope
ROXY: we gotta come up with a different name
JADE: how about bossy dead bitch
ROXY: oh snizzap
calliope: you can call me al
ROXY: aw thats almost cute
KANAYA: Is This Cryptic Expositing Truly Necessary
KANAYA: Al
KANAYA: Actually No Im Not Calling You That
calliope: for you, no. but there are other invested parties.
KANAYA: We Were About To Engage In A Rather Important Discussion
calliope: yes, you were. however, to make it simpler for you i'll tell you this.
calliope: ultimately, what you plan here has very little bearing on what you will do.
calliope: we will arrive on Deltritus and i will move this story to its conclusion without further complications.
calliope: little else matters.
ROXY: what the hell is dometriosis
KANAYA: And Why Should We Believe Any Of That
calliope: it is my duty to tell the truth to those i protect.
JADE: well i think we're all better off without your "protection" !
calliope: you can choose to believe that. but my duty grants me authority that surpasses the need for your consent.
ROXY: im sure he thinks the same way
calliope: meeting adjourned.
#homestuck#homestuck^2#alt calliope#calliope#roxy lalonde#jade harley#kanaya maryam#homestuck^2 act 1#page 596#page 597#page 598#page 599#page 600
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Jade Harley, Roxy Lalonde, Calliope, Kanaya Maryam
Page 593-594
JADE: whoa
ROXY: intense right
JADE: so what exactly are we looking at here :o
CALLIOPE: oUr Cosmic Canonical Correspondent.
CALLIOPE: yoU coUld call it a visUal representation of oUr...
CALLIOPE: well, oUr everything!
KANAYA: Forgive My Ignorance But I Recall Our Universe Looking More Um
KANAYA: Amphibian
KANAYA: This Looks Vaguely Closer To The Door We Took To Claim The Ultimate Reward
KANAYA: Albeit More Fucked
CALLIOPE: this is trUe! bUt this diorama exemplifies something far grander than any single Universe.
ROXY: i think it wasnt all crazy like this last time
KANAYA: The Last Time
KANAYA: Youve Been Here Before
ROXY: yea it was like a million years ago by now but i came out here once on my way out a dream looking for my boo thang
CALLIOPE: u///u
ROXY: and it was more or less just a regular lookin block house back then
CALLIOPE: i believe its cUrrent appearance is dUe to the work of oUtside inflUence
JADE: you're saying he did this?
CALLIOPE: i'm not entirely sUre!
CALLIOPE: bUt yes, that is my cUrrent working theory. U_U
CALLIOPE: i broUght yoU here together so we can discUss what is to be done aboUt this
KANAYA: Is There A Reason You Neglected To Add Karkat And Dave To This Socratic Slumber Seminar
CALLIOPE: while the knights will no doUbt prove invalUable in the impending conflict... when it comes to these erm... finer points of discUssion their chins do tend to wag...
KANAYA: What
ROXY: love em to death but they cant shut the fuck up
CALLIOPE: in so many words.
CALLIOPE: oUr trUe goal with this endeavor has been rather vagUe these last few years and as oUr time on this ship begins to draw to a close i believe we shoUld start a serioUs dialogUe aboUt what we plan on doing once we toUch groUnd.
ROXY: god i love seeing u boss up
KANAYA: I Understand That
KANAYA: But Couldnt We Just Talk Normally
KANAYA: Without All This Chloroform Ninja Shit
JADE: it was a bit much!
CALLIOPE: i apologize for my draconian methods bUt i needed to make sUre oUr discUssion coUld be held free from the prying eyes of oUtsiders.
ROXY: yeah cuz this is about us! our family, our future
KANAYA: What Is There To Discuss
KANAYA: I Thought My Plan Was Well Understood
ROXY: ok sheesh well thats hella badass and vengeful but like
ROXY: damn shawty idk maybe theres other options then just goin in slicing his shit to smitheroons
ROXY: and also like
ROXY: COULD you, even??
KANAYA: Id Very Much Like To Try
ROXY: lets maybe try something less fucked up first?
KANAYA: Im Not Sure If Youre Aware Roxy
KANAYA: But We Are More Or Less The Foremost Experts When It Comes To Being Quote Unquote Fucked up
KANAYA: Anyway He Started It
KANAYA: Nothing Remains But To Finish It
JADE: yikes!
JADE: why don't we all cool off for a second, i wanted to ask calliope something.
JADE: who did you mean by "outsiders?"
CALLIOPE: er, yes.
CALLIOPE: well,
CALLIOPE: i began prepping my Dreamly Majyyks as soon as you were released from *her* hold. we needed to do this before she comes back.
#homestuck#homestuck^2#jade harley#roxy lalonde#calliope#kanaya maryam#homestuck^2 act 1#page 593#page 594
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Jade Harley, Kanaya Maryam, Roxy Lalonde, Calliope
Page 588-591
JADE: roxy, calliope, and is that kanaya?
KANAYA: Calliope Roxy And Is That Jade
JADE: roxy
ROXY: yo
JADE: where... are we?
ROXY: this is a special dream bubbie callie set up!
JADE: i dont even remember falling asleep
ROXY: yea i used callies special magic sleep dust on ya
ROXY: sorry for conkin yall out also but callie said we had to do this tonight
KANAYA: I Thought The Dream Bubbles Had Been Destroyed
CALLIOPE: i thoUght so too!
CALLIOPE: the origin of these new bUbbles is Unclear, thoUgh it seems like they might actUally be emanating oUtwards from oUr destination, bUt i mUst admit i'm happy to see them back!
ROXY: ladies ;)
KANAYA: Wow
KANAYA: I Must Say That This Vast Expanse Of Nothingness Was Well Worth The Minute Inconvenience Of Being Majyyked To An Untimely Slumber
KANAYA: Via A Substance That I Am Still Not Altogether Sure Isnt Actively Harmful To Biological Life
CALLIOPE: a-hem.
CALLIOPE: tUrn aroUnd!
#homestuck#homestuck^2#jade harley#kanaya maryam#roxy lalonde#calliope#homestuck^2 act 1#page 588#page 589#page 590#page 591
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Roxy Lalonde, Jade Harley
Page 582-586
ROXY: ohh its just jade blowin on that fluyt
ROXY: huffin and puffin up a storm on that bad boy getting real rose
ROXY: and all that noise had me thinking rowdy russet had come back from the dead
ROXY: only to be tragically eaten by a hungry chess guy all over again
JADE: roxy!
ROXY: *contrary to what his name would have you believe rowdy russet was one of my sweetest cats btw :(
JADE: aw :(
JADE: oops did the noise wake you? im about a decade rusty at sucking with this thing. id play an instrument i actually know, but it seems the orchids have too refined taste for the bass.
JADE: soooooo picky
ROXY: nah i was already up making my rounds
ROXY: got my new pjs and i gotta make em known like a traveling circus showing off their newest bearded lady
JADE: i do like your new pj's!
ROXY: thank you theyre the hautest couture on the market fresh from the mind of the schoonervilles very own hikikomaryam
JADE: i notice you and davekat have been getting a lot of clothes from her recently
ROXY: yeah aside from getting those guys to wear something other than the same stank pjs everyday
JADE: (heheh)
ROXY: its also just good to keep her busy with something other than brooding in quiet contemplation all hours of the non-day
ROXY: anywho
ROXY: whatre you cooking up in here harl
JADE: im growing orchids onto the trunk of this tree!
ROXY: they just grow hanging off the branch like that?
JADE: yeah! orchids are a type of plant called epiphytes, meaning they can survive off the backs of other plants instead of in the dirt
JADE: the roots attach themselves to the tree and after some aggressive loving and watering eventually they can grow on the tree all by themselves!
ROXY: ohh so theyre like mistletoe
JADE: well actually mistletoe is parasitic, they suck the water and nutrients straight out of the trees they grow on
JADE: orchids don't do that at all! they just use the tree like an anchor to get to their sweet spot so they can grow. for an orchid to kill a tree it'd have to be huuuuuge
JADE: like huge enough to block out all the sunlight and keep it for itself
ROXY: neat
ROXY: so whats that plant you got in the corner over there
JADE: im glad you asked!
JADE: whoa
#homestuck#homestuck^2#roxy lalonde#jade harley#homestuck^2 act 1#page 582#page 583#page 584#page 585#page 586
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Roxy Lalonde
Page 579-580
ROXY: sweet dreams naya
ROXY: what...
ROXY: was dat ',:o
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Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam
Page 576
ROSE: I take it you don't consider the matter concluded to your satisfaction...?
KANAYA: An Incredibly Astute Observation
KANAYA: You Really Are A Seer
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Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Jade Harley
Page 565-572
ROSE: Kanaya,
ROSE: It looked for a moment back there as if you were going to actually go through with our "Mutilate The Hostage Beyond Recognition" ruse.
ROSE: With Yiffy rescued and the other children absent, might now be an appropriate time to... hash it all out?
KANAYA: Mm
KANAYA: And What Do You Feel Needs to be Hashed Exactly
JADE: ugh... well
JADE: kanaya i know you havent been very happy and youre probably super frustrated
JADE: but first off i want to say thank you soooo much for putting everything aside to help us
JADE: youre the reason i have my girl back!
JADE: and with minimal bullet holes too! haha
KANAYA: Ha Ha Ha
JADE: ... also... you have every right to be angry!!
JADE: this isnt a little white lie, its a whole bed of secrets which then became an entire child
JADE: but whatever it takes to earn back your trust ill do it!
JADE: ever since we first met ive respected you, felt cared for by you
JADE: i hate how i returned that kindness...
ROSE: Jade.
JADE: and of course you arent obligated to ever forgive me but... i dont want to lose you too!
JADE: i love you kanaya
JADE: youre my family
KANAYA: You Fucked My Wife
ROSE: Exhales.
KANAYA: My Apologies Jade
KANAYA: That Was Very Brave And Of Course Extremely Forthcoming Of You
KANAYA: A Refreshing Change Of Pace From The Ongoing Process Of Haggling The Truth Out Of The Two Of You Detail By Sordid Detail Following The "Yiffy Reveal"
ROSE: Implying we are leaving out information that could remedy this situation.
KANAYA: Implying
ROSE: Sorry.
KANAYA: I Didnt Want You To Remedy The Situation
KANAYA: I Wanted You To Own It
KANAYA: Instead You Let John Lead The Conversation With His Stupid Questions
KANAYA: And Sprinkled Out A Gauche Attempt At A Tear
JADE: but-
ROSE: A bit shameless perhaps.
JADE: !
KANAYA: It Was Theatrical
KANAYA: Well Unlike John I Am Not A Stranger To Your Lives
KANAYA: When You Feed Me Some Half Baked Lie About Karkat And Dave Wanting To Adopt I Know Better
KANAYA: And Though That Travesty Of A Name Is Undoubtedly An Incomprehensibly Offensive Piece Of This Particular Puzzle
KANAYA: What I See Is Not An Explanation
KANAYA: But A Glossing Over Of The Worst Detail
ROSE: Jane.
KANAYA: Rose That Woman Is Going To Ruin The Future For Our Daughter
KANAYA: And You Snuggled Into A Secrets Bed With Her
KANAYA: For So Long I Couldnt Convince You To Share A Cup Of Tea With Jade
KANAYA: Then Years Later You Happen To Grow A Sympathy Gland And Decide To Jump Right To Sharing Offspring
JADE: its my fault kanaya! she was the only option i had left...
KANAYA: Sure Let Us Go With That Considering Your Stated Distaste For Ectobiology
KANAYA: Thats Only Suitable For Trolls Correct?
JADE: no!
JADE: everyone deserves a choice
JADE: but...
JADE: i already have an entire kingdom of ecto-children
JADE: this had to be different
ROSE: No one wants to contribute to the off brand doppelgangers strolling the streets.
ROSE: Easily the worst aspect of this place.
KANAYA: Is That Why You Acquiesced
KANAYA: ?
KANAYA: Because I Am Stumped On That Part As Well
KANAYA: If Memories Serves When We Were Adopting Vriska
KANAYA: I Mentioned The Precarious Possibility Of A Jadedavekat Brood
KANAYA: What Is It That You Said Again
ROSE:
KANAYA: I Believe Your Approximate Verbiage Was That "Their Dysfunctional Human Centipede Of A Relationship Is Soaking With Lighter Fluid And Begging To Burn" And That You Would Feel Sorry For The Grub
KANAYA: Jades Qualities Rang Too Familiar Right
KANAYA: Evasive
KANAYA: Pushy
KANAYA: Lacking In Proper Coping Mechanisms
KANAYA: Carrying An Air Of Unspeakable Sadness
KANAYA: The Poor Kid
ROSE: Congratulations.
ROSE: You've managed to exhume the solemn cadaver of my mother's memory and make her the star of another argument.
KANAYA: As If You Ever Bothered To Bury Her
ROSE: What does this have to do with anything!?
KANAYA: What I Am Doing Is Demonstrating That I Have No Intention To Mediate This Situation
KANAYA: Or Pacify It
KANAYA: Or Even Be A Little Bit Nice Right Now
KANAYA: So Perhaps Youll Actually Take Me Seriously For Once
KANAYA: Instead Of Assuming You Can Pull The Baabeast Keratin Over My Eyes And Distract Me From The Awful Reality
KANAYA: That You Trusted A Monster Over Me
KANAYA: And Cant Even Tell Me Why!
ROSE: And if you don’t like the answers?
KANAYA: That Is Future Roses Problem
ROSE: I see...
ROSE: Ok.
JADE: (ok...?)
ROSE: I want it on the record, involving Jane was not my decision.
ROSE: But it was a pre-established requisite that I did not fight against.
ROSE: It is Jade’s child after all.
ROSE: And you’re not completely wrong, either.
ROSE: I may have felt some... pang of responsibility. For a litany of psychologically revealing reasons.
ROSE: But more than anything else, I took her up on it because it felt oddly
ROSE: inevitable.
ROSE: Anyways,
ROSE: Deep down, I knew it didn’t matter.
ROSE: However we handled it.
ROSE: Whatever hurt we caused.
ROSE: It was never that serious.
ROSE: I knew you would forgive me.
KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: When Did You Stop Trying
JADE: yeah rose!!!!!
JADE: what the fuck!!!!
JADE: this is not what we discussed...
JADE: you're devaluing kanaya's feelings, minimizing our impact on her!
JADE: woah, im defending you!!!
KANAYA: NO
KANAYA: YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF
JADE: b-but i just dont want things to get even worse!!!!!!
KANAYA: Then Stop Pretending That My Feelings Are Top Priority
KANAYA: AND TRY BEING HONEST FOR ONCE
JADE: WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER!!!!!!!
KANAYA: Excuse Me?
JADE: you heard me!
JADE: you were wronged kanaya!
JADE: the truth cant change that
JADE: saying it just fucking hurts more
JADE: what does that accomplish?
JADE: its so embarrassing, would you even get it if i had?
JADE: you havent been alone since we were thirteen
JADE: and the first chance you got you packed up your cosmic purpose and hid away in the brooding caverns
JADE: you have no idea what its like out there
JADE: how traumatizing dating regular citizens was
JADE: imagine trying to love someone who already knows every available detail about you
JADE: who has *opinions* on what happened to you as a child
JADE: who assumes youre indestructible
JADE: newsflash it fucking sucks!!!!!!! because no matter how nice they were
JADE: they didnt want to know me
JADE: they wanted to date the god of space
JADE: and i felt SORRY
JADE: for disappointing *THEM*!!!!!
KANAYA:
ROSE: I had my suspicions but I had no idea it’d been that bad.
ROSE: You didn’t even hint at it.
JADE: why would i?????
JADE: so everyone could lecture me again on how "bad" my "boundaries" are?
ROSE: (I did that one time.)
JADE: you want bad boundaries
JADE: do you know how many people would be waiting outside public bathrooms to talk to me about their problems?
JADE: this one guy randomly started apologizing because they cooked their hamster in the microwave!
JADE: and they looked so sad... i had to hug them and say it was ok
JADE: but it was not ok!
JADE: they murdered their hamster!
Rose: Ugh...
JADE: and their other hamster killed itself
KANAYA: JADE
JADE: out of loneliness!!!!!
KANAYA: GET TO THE POINT
KANAYA: !!!!!!!!
JADE: millions of people told me they loved me
JADE: but i was never a real person to them
JADE: i couldn't let that happen to yiffy too
KANAYA: What
JADE: i had to save her kanaya!
JADE: give her the chance to grow up as a normal kid with a normal life
JADE: not one where people would befriend her to get close to me
JADE: or fucking bark at her while walking down the street!!!!!!!
JADE: and jane had the resources to provide that
JADE: every scare weve had she was able to cover up
JADE: she literally controls the media for christs sake
KANAYA: We Could Have Figured It Out
KANAYA: Indebting Yourselves To The Second Coming Of The Condescension Was Hardly The Only Answer
KANAYA: I Was Right Here
JADE: thats true but
JADE: you could have said no
JADE: or worse
JADE: i can live with rose doing this because she wanted to see what would happen
JADE: but i couldnt stand the idea of owing my kid to the fact you felt sorry for me!
JADE: especially after the dave and karkat... situation...
JADE: i couldnt do that again
KANAYA: We Could Have Helped You If You Let Us
JADE: i needed a fresh start, not to sit around taking care of grubs and watching shitty romcoms forever and wasting away in an empty house!
JADE: i wanted to live!
JADE: and living here is already so hard
JADE: and not only because of the war or what happened to dirk or whatever the hell is wrong with john
JADE: the world is fucked!!!
JADE: and yet, despite all that, yiffy turned out to be so good
JADE: and she's mine.
JADE: yiffy exists because i needed her to.
JADE: ... shes the only future i have left
KANAYA:
ROSE:
JADE:
KANAYA: Jade I Recognize You Have Had To Sacrifice Principles To Survive
KANAYA: And That Is Hard To Live With
KANAYA: Even Now I Can Sympathize
KANAYA: But 15 Years
KANAYA: ?
JADE:
KANAYA: Even If I Didnt Want Her
KANAYA: She Was Already Here
KANAYA: So Why Make It Worse
KANAYA: Why Perpetuate The Lie
JADE: i...
#homestuck#homestuck^2#rose lalonde#kanaya maryam#jade harley#homestuck^2 act 1#pagd 565#page 566#page 567#page 568#page 569#page 570#page 571#page 572
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Tavros Crocker, Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde-Harley
Page 559-560
TAVVY: I,,, tried to remember if i have ever seen you,,, drink soda before,
TAVVY: I'm,,, pretty sure i saw this brand in Aunt Jade's groceries once,,,
TAVVY: ,,, and made some assumptions,,,
YIFFY:
TAVVY: Ugh,,,
TAVVY: A lot has happened,,, huh,
TAVVY: Shit, uh, is really,,, going down,
YIFFY:
TAVVY: ,,, And also, everyone knows you exist now,,, instead of just me,,,
TAVVY: And our moms,
TAVVY: Wow,,,!
YIFFY:
TAVVY: You know, i was almost kidnapped,,, once,,,
TAVVY: My mom removed the window, after that,
TAVVY: Which, um, sucked,
TAVVY: Though, i guess you'd know, uh, about that,,,
YIFFY:
TAVVY: Sorry,
TAVVY: ,,,
TAVVY: Um, i know that things have been,,, complicated and kind of lame, for you,
TAVVY: On no small part because of our families, and,
TAVVY: Especially mine,,,
TAVVY: But,,, i'm glad you're here now,
TAVVY: And i think, maybe, i could try to help you out, now that you're here, more than i have, in the past,
TAVVY: Which is to say, uh, very little,,,
YIFFY:
TAVVY: Um, could you maybe, turn around, when i'm talking to you,,,
TAVVY: Ok, man,
#homestuck#homestuck^2#tavros crocker#yiffany longstocking lalonde harley#homestuck^2 act 1#page 559#page 560
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Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley
Page 557
ROSE: Jade,
JADE: mwah mwah!
ROSE: I know you're happy, as am I, but...
JADE: mwah!
JADE: mwahmwahmwah!
ROSE: Why not give the children a break?
JADE: ...
ROSE: There's a soda machine in the hallway over there.
ROSE: They can decompress from today's events and we can talk business.
JADE: business????
ROSE: Yes, business. The kind of business that probably warrants our discussion and attention unmitigated by... daughterly distraction.
JADE: aw...
JADE: sigh... ok then
JADE: one more for the road!
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Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde, Harry Anderson Egbert
Page 551
VRISSY: My moms are on the Way, so we just gotta Fuck around here for a 8it until they get here.
HARRY: sounds good, hehe.
VRISSY: I read through all your Spam Texts 8y the way, you fucking Corn8all.
HARRY: shit.
VRISSY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
VRISSY: You really DO take after your dad, huh. Needy and Melodramatic. Amazing. The full Package.
VRISSY: I won't lie to you, it was a Tough read. I nearly keeled over from Second-hand em8arrassment just skimming through that Sap-fest.
VRISSY: Is this the same Slick 8ad 8oy who sneaks out with me so often? I've never seen you Wimp out like that 8efore.
HARRY: yeah, sorry, i was kinda in the moment there.
VRISSY: You know we're like, two of the most High-profile kids on the Planet and it would 8e kind of a 8ad look if they got us Killed?
VRISSY: Think ahead, Dummy.
HARRY: listen, i didn't know where you were!!!
HARRY: you stopped responding, and i had this nagging feeling... like something bad might've happened.
HARRY: which i was actually right on the money about, by the way.
HARRY: fuck me for giving a shit about my girlfriend, i guess.
VRISSY: Stop overreacting, Harry, I was Joking.
VRISSY: Despite how cringy it was, it was pretty adorable. :::;)
VRISSY: But you KNOW I'm never gonna let you Live that down, right?
HARRY: haha.
HARRY: yeah.
VRISSY: Anyway, enough a8out This.
VRISSY: I think they should 8e here Soon, so let's take a seat and Chill out, okay?
HARRY: ...my my, how can i resist ya? ;)
VRISSY: Oh my G8D, I told you Never to S8y that Again!!!!!!!!
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Harry Anderson Egbert, Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde
Page 548
TG: tavvy's being useless as ever.
TG: just let me know if you're all good.
TG: it's getting pretty bad out here.
-- thespiansGlamor [TG] is now an idle chum! ––
TG: uh...
TG: if you're alive, let me know?
TG: hopefully vriska didn't manage to get you smoked.
TG: or something.
TG: haha, sorry i keep overthinking.
TG: lol.
TG: you're probably fine.
TG: i think.
TG: yeah, what am i saying, you totally got this!
TG: when have you fumbled anything. you're fucking awesome
TG: vriska's got nothin on you. right?
-- thespiansGlamor [TG] is now an idle chum! --
TG: vrissy?
TG: shit, ok.
TG: in case anything happens
TG: uh
TG: i'm happy we got to be together despite having to go to different schools.
TG: and i got to hang out with you and stuff.
TG: you've just been like
TG: the best matesprit i've ever had. haha.
TG: you're like
TG: the coolest chick
TG: and i love hanging out with you?
TG: fuck i already said that.
TG: what i'm trying to say is that you're just really awesome and fun to be around and it would suck if...
TG: wow no.
TG: god what the hell am i doing.
TG: that was the dumbest thing i've ever sent.
TG: ignore that.
TG: i'll stop messaging now.
AG: Dude.
AG: Holy Shit??
AG: I'm here.
TG: oh, hey.
AG: Your messages were sent All at Once and you nearly Crashed my phone.
AG: Chill Out!!!
TG: well, sorry for checking on you??
TG: i've been waiting to hear back since yesterday!!
AG: What, you can't Survive a Singular Goddamn Second alone without Me?
AG: Relax, I wasn't even Gone that long.
AG: More Importantly though,
AG: Guess who just 8roke out of Prison?
AG: ME, 8ITCH!!!!!!!!
AG: I fucking Did that!!
TG: what.
TG: prison.
TG: you mean..
AG: Yes, Prison!
TG: you're just messing with me right? lol. this is another prank.
AG: Nope!
TG: i don't really feel like joking right now to be honest.
AG: I'm not Fucking Joking, Harry!!!!!!! It was a D8ngerous situation, why would I even Lie a8out something like That????
TG: because you lie all the time??
TG: fine, i'll humor you.
TG: are you still with vriska?
AG: Nah, not right now. She is doing Her Thing while I am doing Mine.
TG: so you were left alone with her ONCE and she already got the both of you arrested.
TG: that's good to know.
TG: could have given me a heads up.
AG: Give you a Heads Up that I was going to get thrown in Jail? Wow, just say you're inept at Identifying a little thing called "Unforseen Circumstances". I can't tell the Future, dingus.
TG: no, i meant about leaving with vriska.
AG: I would have 8ut I had no Signal! They pro8a8ly Jammed it or some Shit.
AG: It only Connected once I made it out!
TG: man, i don't get it.
TG: she already managed to put targets on our heads in less than 24 hours of chasing her trail of bullshit.
TG: why would you even keep following her.
AG: 8ecause I wanted to. And she was making a lot of Sense at the Time!
Ag: Ugh, stop typing wh8tever you're a8out to Type.
AG: It's fine!!!! I don't Wanna Hear it!
AG: The Point is, I used my Powers for something actually really Useful! And not just to Torment Tavvy, which I intend to keep doing
AG: ...8ut 8-fold. ::::)
AG: God, I can't W8 to try this shit on Everything!!!!!!!!
TG: oh.
TG: like your mind thingy?
TG: i'm not really following...
TG: can you just explain what the hell you were doing all this time??
AG: May8e you'd Find Out if you would let me Finish!!!
AG: 8asically, Vriska thought it would 8e a Gr8 idea to take us on some kind of Half-8aked Mission to get Captured 8y Jane's goons to... uh... I'm not even sure myself 8ut wh8tever she did, she knew what she was doing? I guess????????
AG: Anyway, we got Am8ushed and thrown in Prison.
TG: jesus christ.
AG: It wasn't a 8ig deal. I pl8yed the hand I was given, and I'm Fine. I wanted to prove to her that I can handle these things Myself.
AG: And I Did.
AG: She Pressed me to try out my Mind Manipul8tion, and it turns out that was all I Needed!
AG: I managed to Puppet this Dum8 Guard to open the Cell after some concentr8ting. Took less than a Minute. Easy.
AG: After that, she wanted me to Follow her 8ut I stopped Caring a8out wh8tever corny Spy Mission she was doing in there so I just Left.
AG: I was getting kind of Sick of her Grilling me the whole time anyway.
TG: yeah, i mean, she kind of fucking sucks to be around if you haven't noticed?
TG: i know she's like this super cool and badass legend to you but i think this is one of those never meet your heroes type situations.
TG: her vibes are rancid.
AG: Oh relax Harry, she wasn't That 8ad.
TG: i'm pretty sure she'd sleep like a rock at night if anything really terrible happened to you.
TG: she doesn't care, dude.
TG: about us.
TG: or anyone.
TG: or material possessions, for that matter.
TG: she trashed up my room and stomped her gross red shoes all over my awesome costumes!
TG: i put my heart and soul into those, man...
TG: AND she put you in danger.
AG: Who cares a8out Your costumes!! She helped me have a Psionic 8r8kthrough!!!!!!!! That's a good enough Reason for me to Trust that she knows her Shit.
AG: Don't forget that she's a Literal fucking God.
TG: well, she's not mine.
AG: There's no Denying that if there's one thing she's Effortless at, it's getting shit done. So even if Shit gets Real, I'm going to try to get a Cut of her Luck any Chance I get.
AG: I'm just taking a 8it of a 8r8k.
TG: i don't think tossing you head first into jane's ambush as an endurance test qualifies as "luck", but what the hell do i know.
TG: at least the psychic stuff is pretty cool, ig.
AG: Psionic.
TG: whatever.
TG: not to piss on your victory parade, but i think you should hurry up and come meet me, i'm basically a sitting duck.
AG: Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
-- adamantGriftress [AG] ceased pestering thespiansGlamor [TG] --
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Harry Anderson Egbert, Tavros Crocker
Page 547
-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering glutinousGymnast [GG] --
TG: yo tav.
TG: you there?
TG: you heard from vrissy yet?
TG: she hasn't answered me in a while.
-- thespiansGlamor [TG] is now an idle chum! --
TG: helloooo.
TG: cool!
TG: i'm being snubbed by you too.
TG: i mean you should probably try to message her, she left without telling me where she was going yesterday.
TG: and i don't know if she's up to some kind of trouble or not?
TG: i mean, i'm not gonna make a stink about her going off on her own, she can handle herself.
TG: but she went with vriska?
TG: so thats pretty fucking suspect on its own.
TG: vriska is like this entirely different animal, it's not gonna be your typical charming vrissy shenanigans.
-- thespiansGlamor [TG] is now an idle chum! --
TG: tavvy?
TG: stop leaving me on read, dude. i know you're reading these.
GG: Oh,,, um,, i havent heard from her,,,
TG: then can you try to ping her?
GG: I will message her soon,,, its just that currently i am in a bit of a pickle,,,,,,,,,,,, something rather emotionally fraught,,,,,, and serious,
GG: I could give it a go,,, in a little bit,,,,
TG: god dude, no wonder she can't rely on you for shit.
TG: it's like pulling teeth to get you to do anything.
TG: ...
TG: hello??? are you still there?
GG: Well,,,
GG: Unfortunately,,, its showing that shes offline,
GG: So it follows that even if i did ping her,,, i would see the same amount of responses that you are seeing,,,
GG: Which is to say,,, none,
GG: Unless she is pretending to be offline,,, on account of you texting her way too much,,, again,,,,,
TG: are you fucking serious??
GG: I didnt mean to come across as brash,,, there are just more troubling things for me to attend to,,,
TG: i get that, whatever.
TG: i still don't feel good about this.
TG: don't you wanna know where our girlfriend is???
GG: I do but,,,,
GG: I am sort of occupied with the aforementioned pickle,,, with her mothers and Aunt Jade,,,
TG: oh.
TG: then can you ask them? like the few obvious things you can do here?
GG: Id,,,, rather not,,, miss Maryam seems a bit,,, hot under the collar,,,
TG: yikes.
TG: alright, i get it.
TG: would not wanna be in that room either lmao.
TG: i've seen her tear into vrissy after one of her sneak outs.
TG: shit's straight up terrifying. i don't blame you.
GG: ,,,Seeing as i am actively in the radius of her discomposure right now,,, i wouldnt mind trading places,
TG: hopefully you make it out alive.
TG: try not to get sawed in half, or whatever the legends say.
TG: sooo how bout that message, can you try to reach vrissy?
GG: ,,, Sorry,
GG: ,,, Things are getting a bit,,, fussy,,,
GG: I cant respond adequately,,,
TG: come on tav, really?
GG: ,,, I have to go,
TG: god dammit.
TG: ok!!!! fine.
TG: i'll just do it myself.
–– thespiansGlamor [TG] ceased pestering glutinousGymnast [GG] ––
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Harry Anderson Egbert
Page 546
-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --
TG: hey vrissy.
TG: i just left my moms house.
TG: i don't know where you went off to but i'm at the park now.
TG: shit is kinda crazy out here though, so come meet me soon.
TG: mainly cause i'd rather not have to sit around my parents sob session again lmao.
TG: i've had my fill of awkward heart to hearts with adults so it'd be really nice if i could see you right now.
TG: vrissy?
TG: give me an update once you're back.
-- thespiansGlamor [TG] is now an idle chum! --
TG: it's been a while.
TG: you ok?
TG: send me an emoji or something so i know you're alive haha.
TG: or that sticker you like.
TG: the one we used to spam at tavvy all the time to get him to stop talking in the gc lmao.
TG: fuck. none of my messages are sending.
TG: once you get these, i'll be at the park.
TG: you know the one heh ;)
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Davebot, Aradia Megido
Page 530
DAVEBOT: oh
DAVEBOT: bro wake up
ARADIA: snrk
ARADIA: huh whuh
DAVEBOT: sup chief
ARADIA: good to have you back
DAVEBOT: ill drink to that bro
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Davebot, Aradia Megido
Page 526
DAVEBOT: well that just happened
ARADIA: what are you looking at?
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