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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

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🕯Anon said: just wanna say I adore your writing and how you write Reiner and the kids and the other warriors is my favourite thing ever !! I just wanna give them all hugs :) do u have any hcs for the types of jobs you see them all doing in modernverse ?🕯

The types of jobs they have in modern au

{Annie, Bertolt, Colt, Marcel, Pieck, Porco, Reiner, Zeke, }

{Implied Reiner x reader}

{ "Porto" 1935 by Renato Natali 1883-1979 }

Annie is an Animal rescue worker.

Having had experience as a dog trainer before, it wasn't hard to find a full time job at her local shelter after graduating high school, having volunteered there before.

With time, effort and a lot of energy she made her way into the position of "animal control officer" now she spends her days busting animal's abusers doors and rescuing injured or neglected pets.

With long shifts and a high maintenance job, her time was all poured into her work. Usually she'd be exhausted after a long day.

Despite that, she's fulfilled and satisfied with her job. Not having to deal with a lot of people is a plus too, it's a hard job yes but she prefers it this way.

Her friends are bumped about not being able to see her a lot but they understand, plus she keeps in touch with them by lurking in the group chat only to send a snarky remark to stir the pot every now and then.

Bertolt sees her everyday because they work at the same animal shelter, even if their jobs are different they still walk home together, she also met some different people like Hitch and Marco at her job.

The kids love her job, they think it's badass, especially Gabi and Udo. Gabi because Annie gets to kick people in the face and Udo because he genuinely cares about animals.

She'd never tell anyone this, but part of the reason she wanted the job was because she felt guilty for her past self and wanted to fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves.

Bertolt is a veterinarian.

Having changed his mind post graduation and going to college instead of with Reiner, he graduated after 4 years of studying and is currently working with Annie at the local shelter while also planning to open his own clinic one day.

He takes some animals under his personal care for weeks or months even till they get adopted, he fears something bad will happen to the weak or ill ones if left at the shelter overnight.

Just like Annie, the job takes a lot of his time, not to mention caring for animals off of work. So he's in the same situation as her, but for the sake of his best friend he still finds time to visit and hang out once a week.

Reiner and him still text daily, it's mostly pictures Bertolt took of the animals, Annie on her break, interesting plants he finds along the way. And Reiner replies with pictures of the kids.

They still find time to play basketball together, they try to keep it a secret from Annie because she will kick their ass in it.

Bertolt is comfortable with his job, he feels like he belongs and likes being needed. Yes the long hours are a con but seeing the fruits of his labour grow and get better day by day makes it all worth it.

The kids like visiting his house because there usually will be a new dog or some animal in there every month or so, Reiner makes sure they don't bother the animals.

Something he's never told anyone is a big part of the reason he changed his mind last minute was because Animals feel much safer and secure for him to work with than humans.

Colt is a college student working part time.

He's majoring in nursing, being a four years degree he's trying to balance his studies with work and taking care of Falco.

Zeke offered him to work full time after graduation at his clinic, since he's been working part time there for a while and the pay is good, plus it's really convenientnal.

He has worked different part time jobs in the past like a barista, flower shop assistant, tutor, kindergarten teacher, etc.

Between all his responsibilities he barely has time for himself, his courses end right before his work starts and the small bits in-between is spent on Falco and his friends. Zeke and Pieck try to take some of his responsibility but he refuses saying it's the least he could do to Falco.

He's really good at his job like multitasking, reading people, gaining their trust and having high stamina that he could stay for night shifts even.

He relies on coffee a lot.

Falco sees him as a real life superhero, they weren't that close before but after the incident he really started appreciating his big brother.

Something he keeps inside is that despite pursuing this job because he genuinely wanted to make a difference in people's lives and help the sick, he also felt a crushing guilt after his parents passed away, and so he's trying to save other people's lives now instead.

Marcel is a pilot.

It's a dream he always had since middle school, soon after graduation he joined the military to gain enough flying hours and experience to apply to a commercial airline after taking some mathematics, aviation and some general flying courses.

He was officially hired as a pilot after getting his first class medical certificate to check his health.

His work isn't measured by hours to him but by days, he needs to be available 24/7 in case of an emergency call. Now he's working overseas and far away from his friends.

You've actually never met Marcel, only seen pictures of him and received letters. The person he keeps in touch with the most is Porco.

He likes his work, it's his dream. He doesn't like the work hours and being so absent from his friends and brother, he misses them so much at times.

Pieck is a tattoo artist.

Her shop is actually her old flower shop after she decided to change her career. She's always been good with plants and taking care of them, at that time Colt worked as her assistant.

It wasn't till later after some years of practice and training under other artists that she was confident enough about her skills to start the project

Her art is full of life, mesmerising and beautiful. She puts her soul in every piece and has gained a good reputation because of it, plus having really high ratings and strict hygiene rules, no health inspector could ever challenge her.

Having her own independent work meant that she has a very flexible schedule, being mostly free ment she could pursue other hobbies like gardening.

A peaceful and simple life where she can indulge in her art and be happy is all she ever wanted

Porco is a frequent customer of hers that gets a family discount, Zeke came once before and later sent his friend, a really tall and blonde woman who became her most frequent customer.

Zofia thinks her work is really cool and wants to go and just watch her do her thing, but it's frowned upon to have a kid just sitting at a tattoo shop.

Despite changing into this career, the town people still think of her as the sweet flower shop lady.

Porco is a bartender.

That job came to him by accident more than anything, he was working part time as a bouncer in a local bar but a slot was open after the old bartender suddenly quit and he gave it a chance.

He didn't expect to love it so much, neither did he know about his hidden talent in mixing drinks. So he took it as full time and changed to better bars after gaining the experience he needed.

Being naturally charismatic and good at influencing people, while also multitasking in making drinks and keeping a conversation going, he was instantly a hit in whatever place he worked at.

Working the night shift ment he's mostly free in the morning, he tries to help Pieck with her gardening and is actually attempting to grow some plants at his house.

Naturally whenever there's a gathering, he's the one mixing drinks and being the self assigned bartender who openly judges his friends for their choice in drinks. The charismatic persona being thrown out the window and replaced by a no mouth filter.

He genuinely cares tho, he's the one taking care of someone when they drink more they can handle. It's mostly Colt who underestimates his drinks and is left clinging to Porco who drives him home.

Because of his line of work, tattoos and general brash personality, the kids' parents don't like him even one bit. They're suspicious of him no matter how many times Reiner assures them he's trustworthy.

It's actually only Colt who trusts Falco with him, and maybe Zofia's mom who is at the bar every weekend.

Reiner is a firefighter.

With his mother pushing him into this line of work, he applied for the physical and psychological exams after graduation before getting accepted. He wasn't unprepared per say but actually being in that line of work was more than he could ever prepare for.

It instantly took a great hit at his mental health, so much in fact that he was thankful Bertolt changed his mind last minute and didn't follow him in this job.

It was both everything he ever wanted, like saving people, helping children, animals and knowing it's him who saved them even if it means putting his own life at risk.

But also everything he hated, like the hunting faces and screams of the people who were far too gone for him to save, the recurring nightmares and constant guilt paired with imposter syndrome.

He works a 24/72 shift, meaning he works for a whole day before getting 3 days off. Approximately only working 7-8 days a month, not to mention unpaid leave, sick days and holidays.

So it both gave him a really tight schedule on some days and on others more free time than he knows what to do with, that's why he naturally took the main role of being the kid's caretaker. Looking after his little cousins genuinely helped him and he liked playing the big brother role.

Especially to Gabi, he was the only stable adult in her life. It's common knowledge that you call Reiner first for anything concerning her before her parents because he's more likely to answer and be available.

After meeting you, his life improved to the better as you moved in and became a trustworthy person in his life, someone he can depend on to take care of his little cousins on the days he works.

Not to mention that after you persuaded him to see a therapist, his mental health began improving too.

Gabi may or may have not committed arson at one point, she still wants to be a firefighter despite that and follow in Reiner's footsteps.

He hasn't told anyone beside you this, but he really fears for her, but doesn't have the heart to tell her no.

Zeke is a doctor.

Previously he worked in a hospital but was able to open his own clinic afterwards, Colt was a great help to him at that time when he was getting on his own feet and even worked a lot of unpaid hours.

After that he insisted Colt works an official part time job there with a much higher pay, till he graduates at least. Plus the experience will greatly improve his resume.

Zeke is brilliant at his job, he'd be a perfect doctor wasn't it for the fact he's a huge hypocrite who doesn't follow the advice he gives his patients.

He does a side job in his free time that honestly no one of his friends know what it is, but they know it gained him a lot of connections and made new friends.

Something he always keeps buried inside was that he really never expected himself to become a doctor especially after what his dad did to his mother, and yet here he is. In some way it's like his own personal stepping stone to prove he's a better man than his father ever was.

Bonus:

Falco: middle schooler

He does volunteer work on the weekends, sometimes Udo joins him.

Doesn't want Gabi becoming a firefighter.

Likes all videogames , just all types.

Likes watching cartoons and medical shows with Colt who covers Falco eyes whenever an adult scene is on

His favourite food is chicken nuggets

Wants to try coffee

Is good at PE

Reads comic books

Likes yellow and blue

Gabi: middle schooler

Takes self defence classes and really wants to go to summer camp

Wants to be like Reiner, aspires to be as strong too.

Likes shooter videogames or really hard ones.

Likes watching Anime and cartoons

Her favourite food is Pizza

Wants to try energy drinks

Is also really good at PE and surprisingly good at puzzles.

Likes red and pink

Udo: middle schooler

Takes music classes at the weekend, wants to go to science camp

Kinda wants to be like Reiner or an astronaut.

Likes calming videogames

Likes watching anime and Minecraft let's play

His favourite food is mac and cheese

His favourite drink is strawberry milk

Is good at language classes and creative writing, he also just likes animals a lot.

Likes green and black

Zofia: middle schooler (could've been in a special program)

Takes music classes with Udo

Wants to be a lawyer

Likes co-op Videogames

Likes watching true crime and youtubers drama

Her favourite food is Donuts

She likes strawberry milk and ice tea

Is good at all classes

Likes white and purple

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fotiathymos · 4 years

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EDIT: Its under a readmore now! I was commuting home so this might not be a "complete thought".

Thinking about how I've seen different people from multiple sites say something along the lines of how Galo might feel continuing work for Burning Rescue or his whole life revolving around becoming a firefighter and hero like Kray was to him.

And I do agree he'd def have self doubts about all of that after Parnassus events.

But it is never really shown that Kray made Galo's decision for him to join Burning Rescue. Galo most likely decided it himself. And considering he knew about the Burnish but not the 'terrorist' Mad Burnish and did not hold cruel or degrading thoughts towards the Burnish.. he definitely did not decide to join Burning Rescue for revenge or a grudge. He joined to be a hero. It's shown he likes to be the hero many times.

He wants to save other children and make sure they don't lose what he lost. He looked up to Kray cause he thought Kray felt the same pride of saving and helping others that Galo did. Not that he joined to be like Kray or because Kray said so.

Kray definitely leaned into this choice of Galo's knowing it could easily get him killed. And then made sure he joined Burning Rescue to face off the Mad Burnish and have them kill him.

I don't believe Galo would quit Burning Rescue after the movie events. He would push for a change within the system and rules built into the corporation. They clearly have a 'pull your gun out and freeze on site's rule in place considering Aina whipped out her gun on Thyma in Galo-hen. She did shoot the flames on Galo's arm but then did aim at Thyma. There was no clear way of knowing that to shoot on site was a taught thing in Burning Rescue but it's a strong possibility. They did not exactly try to calm Thyma down, they barely tried talking to her and she was clearly in distress. Not the best rescue approach.

Galo would have doubts concerning the foundation and government he was living under and he trusted. How if Lio did not have the plan of breaking out of prison there was a very real possibility of Galo being the reason Lio was tortured, experimented on and killed in a foundation's prison. That would be a thought that'd haunt him and might make him consider quiting.

But it'd all be out of guilt and self hatred for not 'seeing the obvious'. Guilt instilled by him being manipulated by his city's propaganda and Kray.

Okay, sad and too real for an anime movie.

All in all Lio would be there for him and show Galo he is the hero his childhood self wanted to be. Galo saved the world and Lio's life and many others. Galo didn't have to believe Lio's words in the cave. He could've disregarded them as terrorist lies. But Galo didn't. He trusted Lio so much he confronted Kray. The man Galo trusted and believed all his life. And that's what makes Galo a hero. His belief in the good in people.

Galo would also have the support of the rest of the Burning Rescue team. They would all probably have their own similar self doubts on why they joined Burning Rescue. But they'd all push forward to a change.

This became a post about Galo's character and how much I love him, whoops.

#boop merps #i feel like i got more to say but imma go on the bus #cant type and ride #motion sickness

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lonestarbabe · 3 years

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Saving The Child Inside

Chapter 1: Unsettled New Normal

[AO3]

Growing up as Sam Avery's son wasn't easy for TK. His abusive upbringing left him with a wealth of trauma that he couldn't bring himself to face, even as an adult, but for all the bad, TK's life in Austin brought him a lot of good. He married his high school sweetheart, Carlos, and he became a firefighter like he had always dreamt he would be. But for all he had managed to make something of his life, there's still a hurt, lost child inside TK, a child who wants to found, and mostly, that child wants to be loved.

(I have rewritten the first several chapters, which have been condensed into one chapter, and then, I will be adding new content starting in chapter 2).

Chapter 1: Unsettled New Normal

It had been three months since T.K. had any drugs or alcohol, and he was long past the withdrawal phase of getting better, but it still made him sick to think that he could never touch a drug again. It’s going to stick this time, he promised himself. It never sticks, the critical voice in his head added. You always mess up, so you might as well just give up now. Despite the nagging thought that he was doomed for failure, T.K. didn’t have plans to go back to his old ways, and in that moment, he didn’t want to do drugs ever again. But the thought that he could never have substances again without the risk of a complete spiral made T.K.’s hands shake with apprehension. He thought of all the wedding toasts he’d have to miss, all the nights getting wasted in clubs in a way that was called fun instead of abuse, and all late nights with a date and a bottle of wine. Oxy was easier to escape in normal social functions, but he’d always be a little too fond at the mere thought of it.

There was an itchiness that prickled his core, pulling at his middle with a sloppy mix of feelings he couldn’t distinguish beyond being uncomfortable. The itch made him restless, and without the time-warp of being high, T.K. didn’t know how to keep himself busy. But he still stayed away from substances. All of them. He hadn’t even had coffee; though, he knew his resolve wouldn’t last on that front because there was only so much abstinence that he could he handle and only so much hollowness that he could take. He would need something eventually, even if that thing was a weak, watery stand-in for what he wanted. He’d knew that he’d always be an addict.

He didn’t mind being clean—sober, he reminded himself because the substances had never been what made his skin feel grimy and his insides feel like dust was perpetually compacted in all the hollow spaces—but sobriety would always bore him, like driving through a flat stretch of middle-America in a silent car on an overcast day, but it was better than the alternative. T.K. couldn’t put Carlos through more than he already had, so he suffered through the restlessness and tried to remind himself why he didn’t want to die.

The boredom had worsened since T.K. wasn’t working. T.K. yearned to return to the 126, even though he knew it was going to bring up thoughts that he’d tried to chase away with substances and an ill-fated overdose/suicide attempt. Working would give him something to do. His mind still whirled with the memory of that day, but sitting at home made him feel useless. Guilt ate at him as he thought about Carlos at work while T.K. sat on his ass. He wasn’t fulfilling his role in their household. I’m going to change that. I’ll go back to work, and some of the colors will come back into my life. It won’t always be this gray.

Bouncing his leg up and down to rid his body of some its excess energy, T.K. was not-so-patiently waiting for his husband to come home. He hated how trapped in his thoughts he became when no one else was around to keep his head away from everything else. He could have called Carlos’ mother. She’d decided to work less when she turned fifty-five, but it drove her crazy to have nothing to do, so Andrea Reyes would have gladly come over to keep T.K. company if he had asked. She’d been doing that a lot lately, probably at Carlos’ behest, but T.K. didn’t want to burden anyone with his issues more than he had to. I’ve been doing that enough lately.

T.K. couldn’t stop checking his phone. Carlos was late, and T.K. couldn’t stop himself from thinking the worst. He imagined Carlos blown up or shot down, and he couldn’t get the idea out of his head that something bad had happened. Carlos was the kind of guy to be on time, and while being a social worker meant that Carlos had some late nights, he usually told T.K. if he got caught up in something at work, and ever since the explosion, Carlos had been cutting those late nights short. T.K. knew it was because Carlos worried what would happen if T.K. was alone too long. Selfishly, T.K. was relieved when Carlos came home early, even if he insisted it wasn’t necessary.

He thought it would be good to get dinner started, but T.K. knew his limits, and he knew he wasn’t the best cook. He could throw together a meal if things had returned to normal, but he still had trouble motivating his body to do the things that he asked of it, so he sat with his worry. Every separation sends a fresh surge of anxiety through each of them, but they were trying to be better.

Still, there was only so much that T.K. could take, so he exhaled when Carlos came through the door, carrying a couple bags of groceries on the floor when T.K. got up and threw his arms around Carlos in record time. T.K. smiled. “Babe, hi.”

Carlos returned the smile and kissed T.K. on the forehead. “Sorry, I’m late. I had to stop at the store and get some stuff for dinner.”

“I wasn’t worried,” T.K. said too quickly.

“Your hands are shaking.”

“Just fidgety,” T.K. said, hoping there was no waver in his voice.

“You can’t lie to your husband.”

“You weren’t home, and I just thought—” T.K. shook his head. “It’s been hard.”

“I’m okay. You’re okay. Right?”

T.K. rubbed Carlos’ shoulders, trying to ease the knots. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m glad you’re home. I’m bored here all alone.” After giving T.K. another kiss, Carlos moved to the kitchen to put away the groceries and start dinner. He pulled out a pot, filling it with water and putting it on the burner.

T.K. followed Carlos to the kitchen. “What are you making?”

“Macaroni and cheese.”

T.K. felt warmth radiate in his chest, and he wanted to pull his husband to bed and never leave. “That’s the second time this week.”

“Are you getting sick of it?” Carlos said and then yawned.

“You know it’s my favorite.” One of T.K.’s earliest memories was being around three years old, and his mom made him macaroni and cheese. He remembered little about his mother. She was gone shortly after that memory, but macaroni and cheese always made him think of her. He remembered her smiling at him as she put the food in the bowl in front of him. “I ate it every day for two months after I left home. I didn’t get sick of it then, and I won’t get sick of it now either.”

Carlos ignited the burner, and as the fire fanned out before settling to its normal intensity, T.K. felt his heartbeat trot, and he couldn’t take his eyes from the flame.

“About leaving home. There’s something you should know.” Carlos’ tone was dark in a way that it hadn’t been since T.K.’s dad had turned up to their wedding uninvited two years prior. A shiver ran through his spine. “I saw your dad today. He’s back in town.” T.K.’s eyes snapped up.

T.K. fell back onto a stool next to the counter. “Oh?” he said, voice pulled like a rubber band just before it snapped. “I haven’t seen him since the wedding.”

“I heard he went to Florida.”

“He’s here now,” Carlos replied somberly. “I don’t know for how long or why, but he’s here.”

“Did you talk to him?” T.K. prayed the answer was no. He didn’t want Carlos to get too close. T.K. didn’t think Carlos was in danger, but Sam Avery was toxic.

Carlos shook his head. “I wouldn’t have been able to say anything good, so it’s probably best that I didn’t, but no, I just saw him at the market. He didn’t even acknowledge me.”

“I’m not even sure he knows your name. He only acknowledges me when he wants to make my life hell.” T.K. wasn’t bitter. He really wasn’t. He was tired of the bullshit that his dad brought into his life. “I wish that bastard would get out of Austin.”

“He should be in jail.” Carlos set a second pot for the cheese sauce down on the stovetop with a thud. T.K. startled. “Sorry,” Carlos said, looking guilty. The water on the stove was boiling, bubbles becoming more aggressive.

“I don’t want him in jail, but I want him away from me,” T.K. replied. “I can’t let him back into my life.” I can’t deal with him and staying sober. I’ll lose my mind if he tries to pry his way back into my life.

“I won’t let him get near you,” Carlos promised, and T.K. knew that for all Carlos meant his words that his dad wasn’t the type of guy who respected boundaries. If his dad wanted to get to T.K., he probably would. T.K. didn’t think the old drunkard cared enough to go out of his way, though. He was hoping desperately that that’s the case. Sam had told T.K. that he wasn’t worth the time hundreds of times, and T.K. didn’t want to be worth the time.

Carlos poured the macaroni into the pot, and the water foamed before settling.

“I’m not a helpless little kid anymore,” T.K.’s voice trembled. He was not one, but the helpless little kid lived inside him, scared and hoping that someone would care enough to let him out of the dark room he’d been shoved into. “I don’t know why he still gets to me.”

“It’s normal to hold onto things. I’m still mad at Willie Johnson for throwing a rock at my head in first grade.”

“Willie Johnson is has always been a jerk. I’d be mad too.”

“Yeah, but if I can hold on to that memory, it’s normal that you’d still feel hurt over the things your dad did, which were a hell of a lot worse than a rock to the head in first grade.”

“Dad wasn’t that bad.” You’ve always been sensitive. He only hurt you because you were too sensitive.

“I won’t spare any kind words for that man.”

“He’s still my dad.”

Carlos bit his lip as he put the milk, salt, pepper, cornstarch, and ground mustard into the roux pot and brought that mix to a boil. He got out the block of sharp white cheddar and shred it, taking his frustrations out on the cheese.

“What are you not telling me?”

Carlos put the cheese down. “I think you should get a restraining order.”

“That’s a little much, don’t you think?”

“What if he finds us here?” Carlos asked. “I don’t trust that he won’t track us down.”

“What’s he going to do? He’s got a lot of bark but not a lot of bite.” T.K. shook his head. “A restraining order won’t keep him away. If he wants to find us, he will, regardless of what the law says. He might break the order just to spite the law.”

“He’s dangerous,” Carlos said, voice going shrill. “We nearly had to cancel our wedding because you were so terrified to see him when he showed up unannounced.”

“He doesn’t scare me,” T.K. insisted. “He’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“You shouldn’t have to handle him, and I don’t want to handle him if I don’t have to.”

“He wouldn’t hurt you.”

“I’m not worried about me.”

“You don’t have to worry.”

“It’s my thing to worry. You know that.”

“Let’s talk about how you are,” T.K. diverted the conversation. “How was work? I hope it wasn’t too bad.” Carlos had had a hard week the week before. A child in one family he worked with had died tragically, and it had been no one’s fault, but it had left Carlos feeling guilty that he hadn’t done more.

“It was okay,” Carlos replied with a sigh. “Better than last week.”

“That’s good.” T.K. pressed his lips against Carlos’ neck. He caught a whiff of Carlos’ cologne, and it reminded him of a smell he used to know, but he hadn’t been able to figure out what it was. He just knew it made him feel calm.

“As much as I love having you kiss me. I’m trying to make dinner,” Carlos said with a laugh, swatting T.K. away with a dish towel.

“Fine. Have it your way,” T.K. pulled away slowly, already missing the closeness. “That’s the last time I try to make you feel better after a hard day.”

“Being with you always makes me feel better,” Carlos replied in a tone that was so earnest that T.K. could hardly believe that Carlos was his husband. “I’m feeling less stressed already.”

“You should have asked me to go to the store. It’s not like I had anything to do.”

Carlos shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, but you’re so busy, and I’m just sitting around being useless.”

“You’re not useless.” They’d had a fight about this several times since the explosion. You do nothing to help this household. It makes no sense that Carlos has been so patient and sticks around.

“You have to say that. You married me, but what do I do? I’m not making any money. I can’t cook. I can barely even leave the house. The only thing I do is my job.”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit, T.K. You’ll be back in action soon. You’re recovering. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Work will probably be bad too. Did you hear that they’re bringing in some guy from New York to run the new 126? That’s what Judd told me.”

“Oh? How’s Judd doing.”

“Pissed that they’re bringing some stranger in to be our captain.”

“Are you pissed?”

“Obviously. It’s a slap in the face. That’s what it is. That man is going to ruin everything. He doesn’t get how it is here in Texas. Austin is progressive, but we’re still in Texas. I give it three weeks before he realizes that he’s not cut out to work here.” T.K. hadn’t been born in Texas, but it is the only home he could remember, and he didn’t like the idea of an outsider coming in and flipping everything on its head. They’d had enough changes.

Carlos shrugged. “Maybe he’ll be nice.”

T.K. shot him an “Are you serious?” look. “He’s probably going to think he’s the best thing since sliced bread, and I don’t want to work for a guy who has attitude.”

“You have attitude,” Carlos replied with a laugh, bumping T.K. playfully with his hip. He poured the macaroni and cheese mix into a casserole dish before adding bread crumbs and putting it all in the oven.

T.K. crossed his arms, looking petulant. “Well, I’m not in charge, am I? My attitude won’t get anyone killed. That job should go to Judd. He’s an actual leader. Not some city guy who got his position by charming the pants off his superiors. Like, come on, New York? Why would a New Yorker want to come here? Judd knows what it’s like here.” T.K. didn’t see any reasons why Judd shouldn’t get the promotion that he was next in line for.

“Do you think Judd would even want it? Grace tells me he’s been having a tough time with everything. Being captain is a lot of pressure.”

“Our team died. Of course, he’s having a hard time, but he’s fine now. He told me so. He’s ready to get back to work, and I’m going to be right beside him. I’m just glad we’ll have each other.”

“He’s struggling more than he lets on. Grace doesn’t think he’s ready to go back”

T.K. raised his eyebrows. “Grace said that?”

“He won’t do his required therapy.”

“They won’t let him back until he does. It sucks, but all you have to do is tell ‘em what they want to hear and then you’re done.”

“That better not be the attitude you use when you go to therapy.”

Carlos was careful with what he said next. “Do you think you’re ready to go back?”

T.K. felt a sudden rush of guilt. “Babe, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?” Carlos looked nervous.

“I’m going back tomorrow,” T.K. confessed.

“What the hell, T.K.?” Carlos asked. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” T.K. had been trying to tell Carlos for a week, but he knew Carlos would think that it was too soon, so he’d delayed it until he could delay it no more. He’d never meant for it to become such a big secret, but like any secret, it had a life of its own.

“It was short notice, but I’ve been doing my therapy, so the captain agreed we could try to see what happens.”

“You nearly died twice.”

“The overdose was a lapse in judgement and the explosion was a freak accident. Neither will happen again.” You know it’s only a matter of time before you fall off the wagon. I wouldn’t do that to Carlos. You can’t help yourself.

“Judd won’t be your boss. The new guy is, so you’ll have to listen to him. Are you ready for that?”

“He saved my life, so I’m going to be loyal to him above all others, and the new captain better learn to deal with that.” Judd had shielded T.K. with his own body, protecting him from the worst of the explosion. T.K. owed Judd his life, and he was going to be bitter on his friend’s behalf about this new guy rolling in and stealing what was rightfully Judd’s.

“If you need more time off, we can make it work. You don’t have to go back right now.”

“We can’t make it work. You don’t exactly get paid a lot, and I can’t just sit at home all day.”

“Whatever you need, we can make it work.”

“I need to get back to work, Carlos.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to go back before you’re ready.” T.K. could hear the anxiety in Carlos’ voice, and he knew that Carlos had nightmares about T.K. dying in the explosion.

“I need to get back to living a real life, not just my sad, pathetic existence.”

“If you say you’re ready, I’ll support you.” Carlos swallowed. “But I won’t deny that I’m nervous about you going back.”

T.K. took Carlos’ hand, pulling Carlos closer. “I’m ready. I promise. I was born to do this, and I won’t let shit that’s happened in the past stand in my way. I feel purposeless, and I need to get that purpose back.”

“Will you keep going to therapy?”

“If that makes you feel better.”

“I want it to make you feel better.”

T.K. leaned up to kiss Carlos. “That’s why I married you. You always want me to be better. You make me better”

“I thought it was because I could cook?”

T.K. kissed him again. “That was just a perk.”

“Are you nervous?” Carlos asked.

“You know me. I jump into things and don’t look back.” T.K. shook his head. “No, I’m not nervous.”

Walking into the firehouse the next morning felt strange after months away. T.K. hadn’t been there since the memorial service for the lost members. T.K. felt like Dorothy walking into Oz as he stared at the firehouse’s facelift, but instead of awe, dread was the only emotion that T.K. could make out.

The fire station felt like a hotel that he was passing through more than a second home where he’d be spending huge chunks of his time. He couldn’t deny that the arrangement was impressive, but the transformation only made him bitter. Lives couldn’t be covered up with a fresh coat of paint.

Before he could even get his bearings, the Owen Strand pulled him into his office, offering a hand and a too chipper grin. Reluctantly, T.K. shook his new captain’s hand. He hadn’t been raised with many manners, but he wasn’t an idiot either. He knew to play nice with his boss. “Owen Strand,” Owen introduced himself. “Please, have a seat.”

T.K. sat in a chair that looked too nice to be comfortable. He didn’t want to have whatever conversation Owen wanted to have. It wasn’t like T.K. has done anything yet. He hadn’t had the chance to let his impulses get him in trouble with this stupid New Yorker who was probably going to be the downfall of the entire station. Because based on the aesthetic of the firehouse, T.K. had to wonder if Owen was a leader who probably cared more about appearances and firehouse statistics more than he cared about the work itself.

They wouldn’t even start taking calls for another week because Owen thought it was important that they had team bonding and the kind of crap that T.K. thought was a waste of energy. They’d be doing training sessions, which were better than the getting to know each other games that were also on the agenda. Endurance exercises would keep his mind off everything else, but the trust exercises made him want to scream.

The captain was looking at him with an unreadable expression, and it was too early for a stare-off, so the way the captain was looking at him only made T.K. angrier because he’s too tired for games. T.K. hated men like that who looked at you like they could break you down by looking at you long enough. “Good morning, T.K.” Owen’s voice was bubbly, as if the firehouse wasn’t still haunted by all the people it has lost. T.K.’s was not sure that he’d ever be able to smile like that without guilt. It’s not like his life gave him a lot to smile about, anyway.

T.K. crossed his arms and uncrossed them because he didn’t want to look like a petulant kid. “What am I here for?” T.K. asked, not wanting to extend any pleasantries. He wasn’t there to make nice. He was there to do his job, and that’s exactly what he was going to do. I’ll show him I’m okay, but I don’t have to pretend I like him. He didn’t want to make friends or talk to his boss about things that didn’t matter. Owen Strand wanted to be Mr. Popular, and T.K. would not let him have that title easily. T.K. couldn’t be bribed with gourmet coffee makers and a variety of milks.

Owen has the gall to crack another smile. T.K. doesn’t return one. He can’t. He won’t. “I thought I should inform you that Judd won’t be coming back yet.” He hadn’t talked to Judd, but he’d figured that part out based on the conversation he’d had with Carlos the night before.

“Yeah, I know.” T.K. kept his voice stoic. “And I probably would’ve noticed that when I didn’t see him here.”

“I thought you should know that my decision not to bring Judd back right now doesn’t mean he’ll never be back.”

“Great, thanks for letting me know. Can I go now?”

“But that’s not why I called you in here. It’s not the only reason, at least.”

“Then what is? I’m not in the mood for small talk.”

“I want Judd to take care of his mental health. That was the major reason I would not let him back. He wasn’t taking his trauma seriously.” T.K. wanted to tell Owen off.

“It’s hard not to take trauma seriously. It’s always serious. That’s what makes it trauma.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. All I mean is that he needs more time to get his head back to where it needs to be.”

“You think I’m better than he is?” T.K. wasn’t sure he was much better than Judd. Maybe he was better at hiding the haunted look in his eyes. He’d been doing it his whole life. I know how to seem okay. It’s one of my greatest talents.

“You’ve been doing what the department requires, and that’s why I let you come back.” Owen kept his tone cool. “I’m not trying to be the bad guy here, T.K.”

“Yeah? And?” He still doesn’t know why Owen is wasting his time with this. “I still don’t get why you called me in here.”

“Being here doesn’t mean that I’m going to ignore well-being. I need you to take your mental health seriously too. You’ve done your required therapy, but I need you to keep taking care of that. If you have issues, you need to be upfront about them or else this won’t work. I need to know that I can trust you.” What about me trusting you? How am I supposed to do that?

T.K. rolled his eyes. “What my personal life is like isn’t your business. Everyone’s got baggage, and it’s not your business how I deal with it.”

“It is if it impedes what we’re doing here. I believe we all need to be on the same page. Are you willing to be a team player?”

“I would never let my issues get in the way with my job.”

“I know you wouldn’t intentionally, but—"

“But nothing. I’m fine, and this isn’t something I want to talk about with someone I’ve just met. What happened was awful, but I’m ready to move on because it doesn’t help anyone to live in the past.”

“T.K., you’re young and you’re resilient, but trauma is still trauma. I’ve been through it myself. I know what it’s like to lose your whole crew.” He pauses, looking choked up. “I know what it’s like to lose everything important to you.”

“Then, you know that sometimes you don’t want to be coddled. You just want to move on.”

“I also know that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you can’t move. I don’t want you to be stuck.”

“I’m nothing like you,” T.K. spat. “And the problems that you think I have are just you problems.”

Owen didn’t let T.K.’s comment rile him up. “Maybe you’re right, but I’m here if you need to talk. I’m here for anyone on my team.”

“I won’t, and if I do, it won’t be to you because I don’t trust you. You just rolled into Austin like you owned the place. It doesn’t make sense that you’d want to come to Austin, of all places. This would be a downgrade to a New Yorker, so unless you were on the verge of being fired, I can’t see why you’d take this job other than having a hero complex.” T.K. absolutely shouldn’t talk to his new boss that way, but he’d never been good at keeping his mouth shut.

“I appreciate your honesty, so I’m going to be honest with you. I’m not here because I want to be a hero. I’m here because I needed a fresh start. New York has a lot of hard memories for me. I was holding onto a lot of things that I needed to let go of, so when the opportunity arose, I made the most drastic change that I’ve ever faced. This new station can be a fresh start for you too. And Judd.”

T.K. remained testy. “I didn’t ask for your sob story.” He was being an asshole because that how he gets whenever he has any negative feelings. Like father like son, I guess.

Owen gave T.K. a sympathetic smile. “Trust me. I didn’t give it,” and T.K. knew that there was something to unpack there, but someone else’s trauma wasn’t something he has any business digging into. Besides, he really didn’t care to know anything more about Owen Strand than he already did.

By the end of the shift, all T.K. could think about was how big of an asshole Owen Strand was. Owen was the type of guy who everyone thought was so amazing. He grinned, and he cracked jokes with the crew. He wasn’t afraid to dive into a dangerous situation, and he had all the makings of a ruggedly handsome fifty-something hero. For all the things that outwardly seemed cool about Owen Strand, he was grandiose, and T.K. recognized the carefully practiced smile of someone who had a dark history that hadn’t yet found its way to a light present.

Trying not to think of his captain, T.K. got in his car, and he could hardly believe how much he wanted to go home after being so insistent about needing to get out of the house. He went ten miles per hour over the speed limit and rushed in through the door with fresh rage he could never seem to shake. Carlos looked up as he threw his keys onto their hook and missed the hook, letting the keys hit the floor. He groaned and didn’t pick them up.

“Hey,” Carlos said, voice cautious. “How was today?” T.K. didn’t want to talk about it, but he also had no ability to keep his mouth shut.

T.K. throws his hands up, gesticulating wildly. “He wants to change the entire station with his espresso machine and new age crap like that would make things any better. He thinks Judd isn’t ready to come back. How crazy is that? Judd lives to be a firefighter.”

“What about you?” Carlos asked.

“What about me?” T.K. blared. He clenched his fists, already losing it when the conversation has barely started.

“Does he think you’re ready to come back?”

“He looked skeptical, but he didn’t say I wasn’t. He let me stay for the shift, but all we did was fucking bonding exercises. But it helped that I’d actually gone to my therapy. I didn’t tell him that my social worker boyfriend pushed me into it.” T.K. crossed his arms. “What does he know anyway? This guy thinks that he’s an expert on mental health. Like, you can’t tell just by looking at a person how well they are is doing. He told me that he still had concerns about me, but with Judd, he just flat out said that he wasn’t ready. How unfair is that? Judd’s been there since he got out of high school. It’s not like he’s forgotten how to fight fires. Most of the time we’re just doing medical calls and crowd control.”

“Maybe he’s right.” T.K. looked at Carlos like he was a traitor.

“Whose side are you on?” T.K. felt like a raw nerve. He’d felt like one since he was a child, and now, he kept blowing up at the people he loved the most, and ever since the explosion, he’d been worse. He dreaded opening his mouth because he didn’t know when something red hot would spew out before he could stop it.

“Yours. I’m always on yours, but what you went through was traumatic, and—”

“And nothing! You don’t get to define my trauma by telling me how I should feel or that I’m not ready to go back to work. I’m ready! I’m tired of sitting at home like an invalid. You don’t get how crazy I’ve been going here.” The comfort of being home was short-lived, apparently.

“I know that it’s been hard.”

“It’s been the worst time of my life, and you know what my childhood was like.”

“Maybe the captain won’t be as bad as you think.”

“Maybe he’ll be worse. What does a city slicker know about running a fire department in Texas? He’s going to ruin everything we built. The station looks like it’s from an architecture catalog, but that won’t do much when he lets the station go to hell with poor management.”

“One man can’t destroy the whole firehouse all on his own.”

“He’s hired outsiders. He searched across the country. What’s the matter with people we have here?”

“You don’t like your coworkers.”

“They’re fine, but that’s not the point. They don’t get what it’s like here either. These people don’t feel like family.”

“It takes time to get to know people. Isn’t it better that he’s looking for completely fresh faces instead of trying to replace the old ones?”

“No. Owen Strand has only just started, and he’s already making a mess of things.”

“He’ll adapt, and he’ll have you to help him.” At least T.K. still had a job to show up to. Judd’s prospects were a lot less settled. Owen Strand didn’t seem to change his mind easily.

“I have a policy about not doing favors for bastards.” T.K. said, plopping his body on the couch next to Carlos.

“You wouldn’t be doing a favor for a bastard. You’d be doing a favor for the people of this city. Even if this new guy doesn’t need it, they need your help.” T.K. wasn’t going to let people down no matter how awful he felt about the whole situation. He was the best person for the job, which was why he was going to have to play nice and vent his frustrations when he came home from work at night.

“I know, but it’s still going to suck. I’m too hot-blooded for this. God, I’m just like my dad.” Carlos pulls T.K.’s body away from his so that they can look at each other eye to eye.

“You’re nothing like him. You can get passionate, but you don’t hurt innocent people when you get mad, and you care about people other than yourself. I wouldn’t have married you if you were like him.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure my mom didn’t intend on getting stuck with an abusive deadbeat either. It’s no wonder she... left me.” T.K. wondered how much he was like his mother. If he married to a man like Sam Avery, he figured he would have given up on life as well.

Carlos kissed T.K.’s temple. “You’re the best husband. I’m lucky to have you.”

T.K. leaned his head against Carlos’ chest. “I’m even luckier to have you. You put up with my craziness.”

Carlos smiled. “For now, and forever.”

“Life’s never going to be the same, is it?” T.K. couldn’t help but ask.

Carlos holds T.K. closer. “No, I don’t think that it is, but it could be good in its own way.”

“We’ll see about that, but I can’t shake the feeling that everything’s going to go up in flame.” In T.K.’s experience, never good lasted when the bad was so insistent on taking the joy.

One Monday later, Judd was finally allowed back after Grace had convinced the captain to let Judd came back, meaning that T.K. would have at least one ally at work. That knowledge did little to sweeten T.K.’s sour mood. T.K. had just had the weekend off, so going back to work for another week with Captain Thinks He’s Cool But Is Actually an Asshole was not T.K.’s idea of a good time.

Usually, he liked his job. He enjoyed helping people, and every time he saved someone else, T.K. felt like he was rescuing himself from parts of himself that he didn’t like to consider—his impulsiveness, his addictiveness, his restlessness. But with all the changes, T.K. felt little when he worked. There was a hollowness in his core that T.K. couldn’t fill as effortlessly as he once could. Work didn’t make him feel in control anymore. It made him worry that he was seconds away from a spiral because firefighting was once solid ground, but it had become a collapsed building, full of accidents waiting to happen.

The day was off to a bad start. A house fire left T.K. in a bad mood, but he didn’t think about that. Reminding himself of the details would only cause his brain to spiral, and he had a shift to finish. You need to stop being so crazy and get your act together. If you don’t get it together, you’re going to make a fatal mistake. T.K. wasn’t sure his job would ever be the same. What if I can never do my job normally again. What if I’m broken?

I should be dead, was the mantra repeating in his mind. It had been there for longer than he would have admitted. There was no reason why he had lived while his family had died in that catastrophic explosion. Every single person in that crew had been better than T.K. a million times over. T.K. was lucky to have known them all, and their acceptance of him had proven that life is happier when the best part of it was the people who surround you. They brought out the best in him, and then, they were gone. Now, T.K. was left with Carlos, Judd, and a mountain of issues that he had to battle. He couldn’t talk about those issues, though. Not if he wanted to keep himself marginally levelheaded.

“You’re spacey today,” T.K. heard, and he felt himself jolt at the interruption. Paul was right next to him with that look on his face. The one that T.K. was being analyzed in ways that made him want to dig a hole and hide for a few months until things had steadied and he didn’t feel dizzy all the time. T.K. tried to keep his distance from Paul because it was hard to hide from someone who was hyper-observant. T.K. knew a thing or two about hiding. He’d hidden his sexuality, he’d hidden all the shit that happened with his father, and he’d hidden how untethered he always was, even before the accident. He took comfort in all the things he never showed anyone. Even Carlos only knew a sanitized version of what went on in T.K.’s head, and life was less chaotic that way. It kept things compartmentalized.

“I’m just here to do my job.” But he wasn’t even good at that anymore. All the calls that could have gone wrong did, but blocked those thoughts from his mind. He’d been on the verge of a mental breakdown for a while, and he tiptoed the edge between being okay and not being okay carefully. As long as he could act okay externally, he could deal with the messy internal thoughts. No one could know that he was struggling. If they did, they’d think it was too early for him to be back at work, and that wasn’t the case at all. Work wasn’t the problem. It was everything else in his life that was falling apart. Work was the glue that was keeping him together. But it’s getting harder to pretend I’m okay. I’m tired, too tired for the façade.

T.K. wasn’t sure why Paul had come to bother him at all. Maybe he’d drawn the short straw. The new team should’ve known better than to approach T.K. when he was in a mood. He’d made it clear that he wasn’t going to be social with anyone at the 126 other than Judd. T.K. wasn’t planning on making friends, and he certainly didn’t want any concern from people he saw as nothing more than interlopers.

“I’m here to talk if you need it, man.” The consideration almost made T.K. soften. Because I’m weak. Damn Paul for being a good guy. T.K. had to remind himself not to let his guard down just because someone was nice to him. Maybe several years ago, he would have been pathetic enough to try to be friends with anyone who paid attention to him, but he was past being desperate for love. Love always seemed to turn up tragic, anyway, so he’d clutch onto the love he already had without making any more. Whoever said the more, the merrier didn’t know the joy of being alone.

“I have a husband for talking to,” And I haven’t felt like talking to him either. Or my therapist.

Paul’s face remained neutral. “A husband, huh? I think that’s the first personal thing you’ve said. What’s his name?”

T.K. resisted rolling his eyes. He couldn’t help the clipped tone that came out, “Don’t get used to information. His name is Carlos. That’s all you’re going to get.” I’m such an asshole. He hated how he couldn’t seem to stop himself from being a jerk. He’d been an asshole to Carlos when they first met as well. He’d said, “Go look somewhere else if you’re looking to use your hero complex,” when Carlos had bandaged T.K. after T.K. fought with his dad. T.K. still wasn’t sure how Carlos had gotten past that moment, that broken and pathetic moment.

Paul shrugged, saying, “Okay. That’s fine. I’m not trying to push anything,” and the response made T.K.’s blood boil with something he couldn’t identify—anger, anxiety, maybe fear. He expected more of a reaction when he was an asshole, and it made butterflies flutter in his stomach when people’s reactions were different than he anticipated. No, it was more like bulls stampeding in his stomach, running with heaviness and power. “But that was a bad call with the little girl, so if you need to talk to someone who gets it, any of us are willing. It doesn’t have to be me.”

“That’s it? You’re not going to tell me off for being an asshole.” Childish defiance was brewing in T.K., and the more he wanted to make Paul’s expression change. “You obviously aren’t as observant as you claim to be because you haven’t noticed that I don’t plan to play nice with any of you. You’re only here because good men died. You’ve got awfully big shoes to fill, and you’re never going to fill them.”

Paul’s voice still didn’t raise. He pointed to his boots, “Luckily, I came with my own shoes, and I’ve filled them for a long time.” He stood from the bench and gave T.K. a pitiful look. “I get that you lost a lot, and no one is going to replace your old crew, but like it or not, you’ve gained a motley crew of people who don’t want the world to hurt other people like it hurt us. You don’t have to talk to us. You don’t even have to like us, but we’re here, so you might as well make the best of us.”

The anger dissipated from T.K.’s body. “I think I just need a few moments alone.”

Paul gave a small smile, “Take as many or as few as you need,” and with a nod, he was gone.

For all he wanted it to, the day didn’t end there. T.K. just wanted to go home, bury himself under his covers, and sleep, but he had thirteen hours left on his shift, and he’d have to suck up his bad feelings and try to get through.

Just two hours later, Marjan was the second member of the crew to corner T.K. When he saw her come up to him with an expression that screamed, “We’re having a serious talk,” he pinched the bridge of his nose and suppressed a groan. He liked Marjan. She was a badass with a quick wit and a heart of gold. What wasn’t to like? But while she didn’t have Paul’s extreme observational skills, she had a way of cajoling information out of people that almost made talking to her more dangerous.

“We’re going out to a honkytonk tomorrow night. You should come.”

T.K. brushed her off, “I’m kind of busy.”

“You’re busy a lot.”

T.K. tried to make a joke, “I get booked up months in advance.”

“Well, maybe you could squeeze us in some time.”

“Yeah, maybe so,” T.K. said, but he wasn’t going to make any promises. The exchange was short, and for the most part painless.”

It wasn’t even one hour later when T.K. was bombarded yet again. He looked at Mateo with an exasperated expression, “What is this? A let’s talk to T.K. revolving door?”

Mateo looked confused, “What?”

“Never mind,” T.K. shook his head.

Mateo was the member of the 126 who people too often underestimated. They looked at him and assumed that he was stupid or naïve and wouldn’t know anything. He was quiet, and there was a lot that he didn’t understand, but his ignorance had nothing to do with his intelligence or will. He just didn’t have the experience level that the rest of the crew had, but he was good with the details. He left nothing to chance, and he was the least likely of all them to cut corners. He was thorough with his relationships too, and he was so naturally caring that it was hard to turn him away and not give him something. His trustworthiness and his genuine concern made it hard for T.K.’s barriers not to melt just a little bit, but I have to be strong.

Mateo was brief with his speech, “We’re all just here to help each other out, and we need each other now more than ever.”

“I need my old crew more than ever,” T.K. said, meaning to sound stubborn, but it came off as desperate and too honest.

“We’re more than replacements. We can be friends.”

“You’ll be waiting a while if you want friendship.”

Mateo shrugged. “I’m good at waiting. Do you know how long it took me just to be a probie?” T.K. hadn’t paid attention enough to know the answer, but he did remember a lot of fretting about Mateo’s firefighter’s test a while back. “I don’t care about having to do so much grunt work, either. I’m just glad to be here.” The question is, Am I glad to be here too?

T.K. felt a rush of relief fill him when Mateo didn’t make him say anything more, but T.K.’s mind wouldn’t leave him alone.

The final few hours of his shift dragged. They ate dinner together, but T.K. wasn’t hungry. He pushed his food around as he thought of the little girl, and couldn’t shake the sickness in his stomach. He wanted to escape. He wanted a drug. He wanted a hug from Carlos. He couldn’t take it anymore. His mind was reeling with the defeat of the day. Excusing himself, he snuck to the bathroom just to escape being near other people.

He splashed water on his face, trying to wash the bad of the day from his face, but it didn’t budge. He heard a voice and spun around, feeling his heart beat faster. It was just Owen. T.K. felt the fear diminish but the residual panic was still in his body.

“Sorry about that,” Owen said. Turning the tap on and waving his toothbrush. “I need a quick refresh.”

“It’s fine,” T.K. replied half-heartedly, not wanting to look as distraught as he felt while also not wanting to invite a conversation. T.K. dried his face off and tried to make himself presentable before he’d have to go back and face the rest of his shift.

Before he could slip away, Owen stopped him. “T.K., hold on,” Owen said as he spat the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed his mouth.

Owen Strand was the member of the 126 that T.K. knew better than he wanted to know him. He talked a lot, and he pretty quickly revealed heaps of information, but T.K. knew that for as open as he appeared to be, he had secrets that he was guarding. He was choosy about what he revealed, but because he revealed a significant amount of stuff that didn’t really matter, he seemed open. T.K. recognized that in him because T.K. was exactly the same way. He made people feel like he was giving information away to distract from the secrets he kept. Though, he hadn’t even been doing that lately. He didn’t have the energy to spin a narrative just to keep people off his trail. There was so much else he had to handle, and the new 126 didn’t seem worth the effort of either divulging information or actively hiding information.

Owen picked up a comb and started fixing his hair. Of course, Owen of all people would have a post-meal beauty routine. “It’s been a hard day. Self-care is most important on hard days.” He handed T.K. some lotion. “Try this. It has chamomile. It’s supposed to be soothing.”

“No thanks,” T.K. said.

“Suit yourself,” Owen said, putting the comb down and using the lotion for himself. “Our job certainly doesn’t promote good skincare.”

T.K. didn’t even know what to say to that. “I guess not. Can I go or did you want to say something?” “I wanted to check-in.”

For all he tried to be civil, T.K. couldn’t stifle his groan. “You don’t have to keep asking me how I am.”

“It’s not just you that I worry about. I check in with the others too. You’re just more elusive than them.”

“You can’t tell me I’m more elusive than Judd.”

Owen grinned. “Hard to believe, I know.”

T.K. eyed Owen as he picked up cologne and dabbed it on his wrists and onto his neck. “It’s the little things that get you through the day. I know it seems silly, but I like smelling like myself,” Owen explained. He was one of those people who liked to hear his own voice. “A good scent can remind you that there’s something beyond the smoke.”

T.K. knew the smell right away. “That’s Black Valley by Oscar Simmons, isn’t it?” Even assholes can have good taste in cologne.

Owen raised his eyebrows. “You know it?”

“My husband wears it.”

“He must be a dapper man.” Owen looked impressed. “It’s an old scent for someone so young to wear.”

“Carlos says it’s a classic. I think he likes it because his dad passed it down to him. He’s always thought his dad was super cool.”

A flash of something dark flickered through Owen’s eyes. “That’s nice. Tradition is important. I’ve been wearing this scent for nearly thirty years. It’s been through a lot with me.”

“It’s been around that long?”

“I still have trouble believing that I’ve been around that long,” Owen said with a chuckle.

“I’m getting pretty close to thirty-years myself.” He still had four years before then, but he was closer to thirty than twenty. He felt ancient. The past few months had felt like years.

“Enjoy the time before your body starts getting creaky.”

T.K. cracked his knuckles. “It’s already there.” He sighed. “But at least I get to grow older. That little girl—” he caught himself before he said more.

“It’s hard to see kids die,” Owen commented somberly. “How are you doing with that?”

T.K. forced a smile, the normal almost friendly moment dissipating as tenseness settled between them. “I’m doing okay.” Owen was the captain, so if there was anyone that T.K. had to fool, it was him.

“It’s been a long shift. A child died, and that’s always hard. No amount of experience makes that easier.”

“No, but I’m not cracking up over it.” He sighed. “It’s just hard.”

“I know, but you don’t have to shut down your emotions. I don’t want robots as employees, so I won’t penalize you for having them. It’s good to process those things.”

“We still have time on the clock, so I’ve got to keep my focus.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Owen insisted.

“I didn’t say it was,” T.K. bit out. But it is, isn’t it?

“There was nothing you could have done.”

“Yeah, I know that,” T.K.’s voice was firmer now, but he couldn’t help the way it wavered at the end. “But I saved the villain.”

“You did your job.” Owen opened his mouth to say something else, but the alarm lit up, and a siren wailed through the firehouse.

“We’ll have to talk later,” T.K. told the captain, hurrying out of the captain’s office to get ready. He had no intention of talking. It’s best that way. Talking never leads to anything good coming out of my mouth.

It was nearly time to go home, and there was only one person who hadn’t yet had a heart to heart with T.K. As the only member of the crew to have a genuine relationship with T.K., Judd’s concern meant the most, but they’d never been the type of friends to have emotional conversations. They were brothers and would do anything for one another—Judd’s family often hosted T.K. for holidays, which they’d split with Carlos’ family—but they didn’t need heart to hearts to be close.

T.K. thought he was going to escape without a conversation with Judd until he saw Judd waiting by T.K.’s car.

“You have to let them in eventually,” Judd told him. T.K. had to admit that Judd was a changed person since he had started to go to therapy. Maybe that’s why he seemed so into having real conversations now instead of just talking about sports and married life.

“I don’t have to do anything,” T.K. insisted, and he sounded so much like a little brother.

“Kid,” Judd always called him kid when he was going into big brother mode, “They want to know you, and crews always work better when they trust one another.”

“I’ve given them no reason not to trust me. Just because I don’t share—”

“T.K., you’re not trusting them.”

“I trust them to do the job.”

“You won’t even tell them your favorite color.”

“I don’t have a favorite color.”

Judd sighed. “I’m not asking you to tell them every little detail about yourself, but if you want this to work, you have to give ‘em something.”

“Judd, I have to go.” T.K. looked at his watch, “Carlos is waiting for me, and I don’t want to be here longer than I have to.”

“Talk to him about what happened today. With everything with your dad—”

“He’s got nothing to do with this.”

“Are you sure about that? Carlos told me he was back in town.” Judd shook his head. “Which you should have told me.”

“I should have known Carlos wouldn’t keep that a secret.”

“He’s worried. I am too.”

“Please, Judd. I want to go home.”

“Fine.” Judd sighed. “Just don’t be a stranger. Dad misses you at family dinners.”

“I’m doing my best, Judd. You of all people know it’s a lot to deal with it all.”

“I know. I’m still strugglin’. trust me the nightmares keep on coming, but I’m taking little steps forward, and I’m learning not to let bad days get me down so much. Our new crew is a good bunch of people, so I don’t want your fears to get in the way of you adding some new people to your life.”

“I’m not afraid.”

Judd patted him on the shoulder, “Well, whatever you are ain’t making you happy,” and wasn’t that the truth. I’m not sure happiness is in the cards for me.

When T.K. finally got home, the last thing he wanted to do was talk more, so he slid into his house and went directly to bed without saying more than a few words to Carlos. He tried not to let thoughts about the dead little girl infiltrate his mind, but he had nightmares of her burning in the fire. When T.K. woke up, Carlos was already at work, and T.K. knew he’d have to endure the day alone. He didn’t mind moping on his own, but he knew it was a bad day to have excess time. If things were normal, he would have bothered one of the crew to hang out with him, but his crew was dead, and it wasn’t a good time to burden Judd. Grace would understand, but like Judd, she already had enough to deal with.

He could have always called Carlos, who would’ve dropped everything to talk to T.K., but Carlos had already missed enough work, and he deserved some time away from the chaos that T.K. had dragged him into.

With Carlos gone for most of the day, T.K. tried and let himself recover, by the third hour of watching a soap opera that he didn’t understand, T.K. was at the end of his rope.

When Carlos did come home, T.K. wasn’t in a talking mood, but silence didn’t pair well with dinner. He knew it would help, but he didn’t want another night of trauma talk. For once, he just wanted to pretend that they were a normal couple who worried about normal things like what they were having for dinner or whether to paint the living room tea leaf or sea glass. T.K. tried to find something to say, but he couldn’t think of anything normal, so he just stayed quiet and asked Carlos what he had done at work.

Carlos talked about his day, but after T.K. asked him about what he did during his day for the fourth time, Carlos had enough. “You have to talk about it eventually.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Something’s bothering you.”

“I’m just tired.”

“Conversations are always pulling teeth with you.”

“Could you stop? I’ve had a long day.” He wanted to eat their meal without the rattling in his brain. For a while, he wanted to ignore all that was wrong with his life.

“You were off today.” And agonized by all my free time.

“The days blur together, I guess,” which was true. With odd shift schedules, T.K. sometimes lost track of what day it was or when the old day had turned over to a new one.

“You haven’t been talking to me since you got back to work.”

“I talk to you every day, Carlos.” T.K. wouldn’t be able to stop talking to Carlos, even if he tried. He’d lose his mind after the third day of silence. For as closed off as he was, T.K. couldn’t stand silence with anyone for long, and he’d lose his head when he thought people were giving him the silent treatment. If no one was talking, T.K. usually babbled just to fill the space. He didn’t have to do that as much with Carlos, though, or anyone he trusted. T.K. knew that Carlos would never use the silence as a weapon.

“Not about how you’re doing.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine. I’m back at work and feeling better than ever.”

“You don’t just go from wanting to kill yourself to being fine.”

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself. It was just a normal ‘I’m a fuck up who accidentally overdosed on a shit ton of oxy that didn’t even make me feel better.’” You’re a liar.

Carlos didn’t look convinced. “It doesn’t really matter what exactly happened that night. Whatever happened, you weren’t okay, and all that matters now is that it happened, and you need to address it. I want to know that you’ve been dealing with whatever you’re feeling in the right ways because going backward isn’t a choice.”

“I’m dealing as well as I can be.” He wasn’t telling the truth. He could have committed to his therapeutic process. He could have admitted that he had wanted to die when he took those pills. He could have told Carlos that despite all his bravado that he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be back at work and that he wasn’t even sure that firefighting was what he wanted anymore. He could have admitted that more than just work was getting to him. But he wasn’t going to do any of that because it was easier for everyone if he dealt with his shit alone.

“Keeping to yourself isn’t dealing. It’s ignoring the problem.”

“I’m trying to spare you the angst.”

“No, you’re trying to spare yourself from dealing with your problems.”

“Why does everyone want to talk? Why can’t any of you let things go back to normal? We pretended I was fine before. Can’t we do that again?”

“That’s kind of the problem. The normal you want to go back to doesn’t exist, and the sooner you realize that the more stable your life will become.”

“I’m not going to do anything crazy.”

“Maybe not, but you’ve been more on edge lately, and I’m not sure if it’s because you’re back at work or because I told you that your dad was back.”

“I don’t care about my dad,” T.K. refuted too quickly.

“Fine, then this is about something else.”

Carlos wasn’t going to drop this, and T.K. couldn’t help the anxiety that blossomed in his chest or the rage that it turned into. “Why are you always such a busy body? You can’t leave me to have peace for five goddamn seconds?” He regretted yelling immediately, but with all the shame he felt for yelling, he became angrier, and he needed to be louder, or else he’d be consumed by whatever happened next. He needed to keep fighting or he’d go down. “You’re supposed to support me, not try to leech information from me just to be entertained by the fucking drama in my life.” He sounded paranoid and insecure, but when he was in a mood, he always spoke to keep control of the situation and make sure his voice didn’t fade.

“I know what you’re doing.”

The anxiety was bubbling more, and he wasn’t sure what to do to stop it. He didn’t even know why it was there but yelling temporarily dulled it. “I’m yelling at you like an asshole, that’s what I’m doing, but you can’t drop your sincere, loving husband act for two seconds.”

“You want me to lash out, but I’m not going to take the bait.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m just a fucking asshole, Carlos. It’s not that deep. You’re so naïve that you think there’s something redeemable in every person. How crazy is that? Grow up and see that some people are just wasted. They’re going to break your heart, and they’re not going to care that they’re doing it.”

“You always do this when you’re upset.”

“I’m not doing anything. It’s not a master plan or a scheme! I’m just an asshole. That’s all. You should know by now that that’s all I am. You married me, and if you don’t know what I am by now, that’s pretty pathetic. You must’ve been desperate if you married me. Aaron must have really broken you. He—”

T.K. could see the heat burning in Carlos’ eyes, and he got a guilty surge of satisfaction of finally getting a hint of the response he wanted. “Shut up, T.K, and don’t give me that crap. Aaron devastated me, but I was fifteen and in the closet. He’s in the past, but you’re not. You know what you do? You try to control people’s reactions. You provoke them so they’ll get angry with you because you’ve learned that a predictable bad response is more secure than gambling on what you might get.”

T.K. rolled his eyes, “Keep your social worker talk out of this.” He wasn’t looking to be psychoanalyzed.

Carlos swallowed a lump in his throat. “No, you’re all about bringing up hard truths tonight, so I’m not holding back either. You’ve learned that being hit hurts a lot less when you’ve convinced yourself that you had it coming, so when you feel vulnerable, you try to make people mad so that they get angry when you see it coming.”

“Stop it,” T.K. warned.

Carlos didn’t stop, “If you make people angry, you don’t have to risk them feeling something you don’t know how to handle. You don’t have to worry that they’ll hurt you for no reason because when you get too close to someone, you always give them a reason to be angry.”

T.K. felt his eyes get glossy, but he’d learned long ago that crying made things worse, so he closed his eyes and willed the drops to retreat into his eyes. He felt Carlos’ weight settle beside him and felt a warm hand slip into his. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but you don’t get to dictate when I feel what. I want you to feel safe, but you’re never going to feel safe if you don’t learn to accept that you aren’t responsible for how other people feel, and you can’t control their emotions.”

“I can’t even control my own emotions. I feel like they’re always going crazy.” He couldn’t get a grip on what he was feeling. It had always been hard for him to process his emotions or even identify which one he was feeling at any given moment.

“That would be hard.”

“It was just an awful day.”

“I don’t know what happened, but you’re trying to punish yourself. There’s a part of you that thinks it’s what you deserve.” Because punishment stops the spinning in my head.

“Yeah, well, I really fucked up, Carlos.” Maybe he did deserve bad things. All of the bad things. I messed things up so badly, and I don’t there’s a way to make it okay.

“What happened?” Carlos’ voice was gentle but prodding.

“There was a little girl who died in a fire we were called to.”

“Did something happen to her?”

T.K. nodded. “Someone happened to her.”

“Arson?”

“No. Her dad had beat her and her mom up, and then, he set the house on fire to cover it up.” The amount of senseless violence T.K. saw never ceased to make him sick.

“Fuck, that’s bad.”

“Yeah, and it was all my fault what happened to her.”

“No, T.K. her death wasn’t your fault. I’m sure you did everything you could to save her. I know you.”

“She was dead when we got there.”

“What do you feel guilty over, then? You couldn’t have stopped it.”

“I know that there was nothing I could have done. I didn’t even know what had happened at the time, but I saved the wrong person.”

“What do you mean?” Carlos’ brows were furrowed as he struggled to understand what was bothering T.K. so much. Carlos’ face became animated with grim understanding. “You saved her dad.”

T.K. swallowed a lump in his throat. “I had to leave her body there while I carried her abuser out.” Logically, T.K. knew that he was doing his job, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he left a living person behind out of spite, but he hated how unfair it was when the scum of the Earth could continue living while people who did nothing wrong didn’t get that same chance. He hated that he had no control over it. He was powerless to the whims of the universe. He was powerless to his future. He was powerless to old scars that still sometimes ached as if they’d just happened. I’ve always been so powerless. “The thing I really hate,” he confessed, “is that I would have saved my dad even if he had tried to do the same to me.”

“That shows that you’re the better man.”

T.K. wanted to sob, but he let out a choked, “I’m sorry, Carlos,” instead.

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t. T.K. had been an awful husband, and he couldn’t stand himself for it.

“It’s not. I’m an asshole.”

“No, he’s the asshole..”

“It’s an inherited trait,” T.K. concluded, feeling like the worst person alive. Carlos is too nice to see the truth. He doesn’t realize that he can do so much better. “And I don’t think I’ll ever escape it.”

#text #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #My writing #Elise Writes #My Fics #wip #7500 - 12500 words #saving the child inside

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inawickedlittletown · 4 years

Text

I’m With You (21/22)

Summary:

Having a crush was nothing to be ashamed of…lying to the family and friends of said crush about being the guy’s boyfriend, that was a whole other problem. When Buck saves the life of Andrew Diaz and accidentally makes a nurse think that he’s Andrew’s boyfriend, Buck soon finds himself lying to Andrew’s firefighter friends/coworkers as well as Andrew’s family including Andrew’s very suspicious and attractive brother, Eddie.

Based on the 1995 movie While You Were Sleeping.

Words: 3,356

Read on Ao3

Masterpost

Previous Chapter

–

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that Andrew explained what he meant when he said he was leaving. Apparently, it was because he’d been offered a job on a wildland firefighter crew. Eddie knew at once that their mom was not going to love hearing that, but he could also see how much Andrew wanted to do it and so he would do it no matter what anyone said.

“You’re crazy, you know that,” Eddie said.

Andrew shrugged. “One of Josh’s friends is a smokejumper and I just...as much as I love what I do now, that has some appeal for me, you know?”

“No, I don’t,” Eddie said. “Have you told mom and dad yet?”

“No,” Andrew admitted. “Mom wouldn’t understand.”

“I can’t say that I understand,” Eddie said.

Andrew just shrugged him off. “It’ll be a few more weeks. I’m gonna go visit them and let them know. But, Eddie, I’m doing this. Anyway, how’s the dog doing?”

“Legolas is doing fine. Christopher loves having him around. I keep meaning to say thank you. And it’s lucky that Carla likes him too. He’s really well trained.”

Eddie hadn’t been too sure about taking Legolas in not because he didn’t like the dog or because he was worried about how Christopher would deal with it, but because Eddie knew his work schedule on top of Christopher’s schedule meant he wasn’t home enough to watch the dog. Or to walk him. He hadn’t been sure that Carla would welcome the new addition to his house, too, but she loved Legolas. And then past all of those reasons, there was the Buck of it all. Buck had loved Legolas and any memory that Eddie had of the dog was attached to Buck.

“That’s good,” Andrew said. “And have you considered talking to Buck?”

Andrew brought it up every single time they talked. Eddie ignored it.

“Eddie, come on.”

“I did talk to him,” Eddie said. “Remember. And that’s that.”

Andrew didn’t push. Eddie was sure that soon he would stop asking and Eddie just wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. It wasn’t that he wasn’t angry anymore, it was that he missed him. He had known Buck for merely a few weeks, but he’d carved a space in Eddie’s heart and he’d taken that piece with him and Eddie hated him for it. He hated him for all the guilt that he’d made Eddie feel and for how Eddie couldn’t in his own mind figure out how much of everything had been lies or almost lies. Mostly, his mind always went back to the kiss. Buck had kissed him back.

It was no indication that Buck felt anything at all for Eddie, but Eddie did think that it was more likely that Buck did feel something than not. None of that meant that Eddie could actually make himself call or text Buck.

He did spend a lot of time wondering about how Buck was and how things were going with his sister. Once, Eddie had even driven all the way over to Coffee Time, but he hadn’t even gotten out of his car.

Sometimes, Eddie just hoped to run into him so that meeting him was out of his control and it could happen. The universe was just not that interested in helping Eddie out like that. For a while, Eddie had hoped that maybe Andrew would force the issue and make Eddie somehow see Buck again, but that didn’t happen either.

So, Eddie focused on Christopher and on Legolas. He visited abuela and Pepa. He hung out with his friends, and he did his job, and he prepared himself for the day when his brother wouldn’t be with him in the ladder truck.

—

Maddie was well aware that she had showed up in her brother’s life and made a mess of things for him. Buck had always been resilient though, so she wasn’t too surprised when Buck didn’t hold it against her and his mood improved until one day he showed her his application for the Fire Academy.

At first Maddie had wondered if that was a good idea and if Buck really did want that, but it became pretty clear to her that it was. Especially once Maddie met Josh because Josh could fill in the blanks that Buck hadn’t. He told her all about Buck’s quick reactions in emergencies and about the day that Buck had spent babysitting Christopher.

“He’s quick on his feet and physically...I mean, I have eyes, Maddie.”

Maddie liked Josh. He was sweet and funny and exactly the kind of person that she needed in her life. He also seemed to care about Buck a great deal which meant that Maddie appreciated him even more. Josh was the last tie to the Diaz brothers seeing as Buck wasn’t talking to anyone else that tried to reach out to him. In part, it was because of her. Josh was instrumental to getting Maddie her new job. It wasn’t an easy job and Maddie never could have imagined being a 9-1-1 dispatcher and yet it was a different way to help people and it kept her relatively anonymous which suited her situation well.

Maddie was not at all surprised when Buck got accepted into the training program. She did worry about his reasons for wanting to pursue a career that might bring him closer to the people that he wanted to avoid, but Maddie also knew that she needed to let him make his own choices. It was partly for that reason that Maddie also started to search for a place of her own.

Buck’s apartment was nice. Much nicer than Maddie could have expected when she first arrived, but it also only had the one bedroom up on the loft and while Buck’s sofa turned out to be really comfortable, Maddie also needed to have her own space.

Buck went apartment hunting with her the first few times she started looking, always trying to push Maddie into finding a new apartment for the two of them instead. Eventually, she made him stop following her around. It was on one of those days when she was on her own that Maddie ran into Eddie Diaz.

Maddie didn’t even recognize him at first. After all, she’d seen the guy all of once and there had been other things for Maddie to worry over at the time. Eddie did recognize her.

“Hi. Maddie, right? Buck’s sister?”

“Eddie?” Maddie asked. “Or is it Andrew?” She was looking at the dog attached to a leash that was currently lifting his leg against a pole. The dog belonged to the fake boyfriend right?

“Eddie,” Eddie said. “How...how are you?”

“Good. Thanks for asking. And you?”

“I’m fine,” Eddie said. “Just taking this guy out on a walk. Uh, how is — is Buck doing alright?”

Maddie didn’t know how to answer. Her brother was resilient. He was strong. He was probably the strongest person that Maddie knew. He was also floundering a bit even while he found his professional passion.

“He’s okay,” she settled on.

Eddie’s brow creased into a frown and his eyes shone with concern. Eddie really was handsome and that was so indicative to why Buck had liked him. Did like him? Maddie really didn’t know what Buck felt about the whole thing. He didn’t really want to talk about it and the last thing that Maddie wanted to do was to bother him and pester him to talk about anything he didn’t want to talk about.

“I’m glad that he has you,” Eddie said. “He, um, he was really lonely. Missed you a lot.”

“Buck talked about me?” Maddie asked.

Eddie gave a short nod. “We all wondered where his family was...why he was so alone. He told me about you and how he hadn’t seen or heard from you in years.”

There was an accusation in his words and he was watching her. The dog sat down at his side without much bother to complain about the pause in his walk.

“I think that’s my business, don’t you?” Maddie asked. “I mean, considering that you haven’t tried to talk to my brother since all of that went down. He doesn’t say it, but I’m pretty sure he misses you. All of your family. From what I can tell, it’s why he kept up that lie for so long and why it was so hard for him to tell you all.”

Eddie looked all at once like he’d been punched, but also like he was ready to do some of the punching as well.

“Buck isn’t answering Chim or Hen. I think even Athena tried to call him,” Eddie said in a low tone. “And I’m sure he won’t answer if I try either. I guess you Buckley’s are practiced at that, though. You screened his calls for years.”

Maddie didn’t know what to say. In all actuality, she didn’t know Eddie very well. Or, at all. He was just the guy that his brother had become friends with and that he’d lied to about dating his brother. The whole thing was complicated and only made worse by the knowledge that Buck had bonded with these people. He’d allowed them in and told them things about his life. About her. He had to be hurting more than he’d allowed Maddie to see and not just about the loss of these people he’d grown to care for, but because Maddie had abandoned him. She left him.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said and he touched her elbow. “I’m not handling a lot of this well. I just mean that when we talked about you he was always really sad. And you’re obviously here and I’m glad. I’m so glad he’s not on his own anymore. But I also know him well enough to know that he probably hasn’t told you about how he felt not being able to reach you.”

“You care about him,” Maddie said.

Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “That isn’t the point,” he said and then, “I have to go.”

He walked away and Maddie was left wondering why men had to be so stubborn.

—

Some aspects of his training were easier and others harder, but Buck loved everything about the Fire Academy. It did remind him a little bit of his Navy Seals training, but it was different too. By the end of each day, he was exhausted in a way that meant Buck’s mind could stop thinking about Eddie. Eventually, his thoughts did go back to him and to the last time that he saw him at Coffee Time and mostly it meant that Buck could replay their conversation and come up with all the ways in which it could have gone differently. All of them ended with them on better terms. Friends. Maybe more. Often he thought about how it could have been more.

A few weeks into training, Buck had just finished his day and gone to pick up some groceries when he ran into Chimney.

“Buck!” Chim said and hugged him before Buck could move. “It’s been so long! And look at you, you’re looking good. How are you?”

“I’m — I’m good. You?” Buck asked and he felt a bit awkward because of course he’d been ignoring Chim’s texts.

It was mostly to do with how Buck just didn’t know what to say or how he was supposed to keep Chimney as a friend and not constantly want to know about the rest. He wondered about Pepa and Isabel all the time. He worried about the 118 and the kind of scrapes they might get into on calls. Once, he thought that he saw Athena when he drove by a police car, but it was his eyes tricking him.

“I’m good. We’re all good,” Chimney said. “I do wish you would have answered my texts. But, I get it.”

“You do?” Buck asked. The last thing he’d expected was for Chimney to not be upset with him.

“Of course. None of that was easy for you. And what are you up to now?”

A part of Buck didn’t want to tell him, but he’d done enough lying. So he smiled some. “Actually, I made it into the fire academy.” He avoided looking at Chim directly as he said.

“What? That’s...Buck, that’s amazing,” Chimney said and clapped him on the shoulder, his face lit up in such a genuine manner that Buck was glad to have told him and to have Chim’s support. It reminded him of how good of a friend Chimney really was.

“It’s going well,” Buck said. “I think it’s...it’s what I’m supposed to do. And how is...how is everyone?”

He almost asked about Eddie directly. He did want to know about everyone, but it was Eddie that he wondered about.

“They’re great. Hen is going to be jealous I got to see you. She’s not upset, you know. None of them are. They’d like to see you, I think.”

“Not Eddie,” Buck said.

Chimney tried to hide a grimace. “I’m sure he’d want to see you,” he said. “He’s been...well, Andrew says he’s being a stubborn child.”

Buck laughed at that. “How is Andrew? Is he doing okay?”

“He has all his memories back,” Chimney said.

By the time that Buck and Chim went their own ways, Chimney had gotten Buck to promise that they could do dinner soon. Chimney even went as far as to invite Maddie along.

“I mean...what else could she possibly have to yell out about you that I don’t already know?” Chim said.

“Sure. And invite Hen. Karen too, if you want. I — I do want to see them again. I’ve missed them. Everyone, really.”

That was how just a week later, Buck found himself in his car with Maddie, driving over to Chimney’s apartment. Maddie was telling him about the apartment that she’d finally settled on and as glad as Buck was to know that his sister was going to be staying, he also wasn’t looking forward to not having her around at his apartment all the time.

“So which one was Chim again?” Maddie asked when Buck had parked. “And what kind of name is that anyway?”

“Nickname. His real name is Howie,” Buck said.

It wasn’t Chimney that opened the door when Buck knocked, though. It was Andrew, his smile wide and with that twist of mischief. He pulled Buck into a tight hug the moment he saw him.

“I won’t kiss you this time, don’t worry,” Andrew said before he let him go and Buck couldn’t help but laugh.

“I didn’t expect to see you,” Buck said.

“Well, I’ve been expecting you,” Andrew said. “Kinda a change for us, isn’t it? Anyway, come in come in. And, Maddie. Hello, I hope you brought your inside voice.”

Buck almost laughed when he saw that Maddie’s cheeks had gained some color at that comment. Instead, he steered Maddie inside and Andrew just shrugged when Buck glanced at him. Buck hadn’t managed to step much farther before Hen was standing in front of him. She didn’t hug him or say anything, instead she punched his shoulder.

“Did your phone get destroyed in an earthquake again?” she asked.

“Ah...no. I didn’t—”

“You’re an idiot,” Hen said and then hugged him.

Chimney showed up, then with Karen behind him. “Well, come on everyone. Dinner is ready.”

“By which he means that he managed to take all the food out of the take out containers,” Andrew said with a nudge at Buck.

“From what I hear, you’re not much better in the kitchen,” Buck said.

Andrew raised an eyebrow. There were parts about Andrew that reminded Buck of Eddie, but it didn’t hurt like he’d thought that it would, to see Andrew.

“So, I said something once about you making me dinner,” Buck said.

“And how did you get out of that lie?” Andrew asked.

They walked into the dinning room. Maddie had already sat down with Chimney and they seemed to be getting along.

“I, um, I think I acted like I was shocked that you would lie about your cooking skills,” Buck said.

“Of course,” Andrew said and he stopped Buck before he went to sit. “Buck, I want to hear everything. How all of that was for you. How it happened. All of it.”

Buck froze. He didn’t know if he’d ever expected for Andrew to ask about it so point blank.

“I don’t — I’m not mad. I guess I just want to know more. If you’re willing to tell me.”

“Yeah,” Buck said. “Yeah, sure.”

“Cool.”

Buck sat down in the seat next to his sister and Andrew sat across from him. Karen called his attention from next to Andrew and Buck remembered how he’d always really liked Karen as she started asking about how his training was going.

“You told them,” Buck said.

Chimney shrugged. “They asked about you.”

“And I think that I get to take some credit for you doing this. Don’t I?” Andrew said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Buck nodded at him. “I guess you kind of do,” Buck said. In all reality, he owed Andrew a lot. Without Andrew and his penchant for buying coffee almost every day, Buck would have never met any of these people — he wouldn’t have met Eddie.

“I’m glad you’re doing it,” Andrew said.

“I am too,” Buck said but turned back to Karen. “How’s Denny? Where is Denny?”

“He’s over at Athena and Bobby’s,” Hen said. “Hanging out with Harry.”

Buck nodded. He was sort of glad that Athena and Bobby weren’t there. It was easier with Hen and Chim. Athena was intimidating and in some ways so was Bobby. Buck had no idea how they’d reacted to learning about all the lies Buck had told.

“You might end up being a good replacement for this guy,” Chim said as everyone started to dig into their food.

Buck paused mid-chew, but quickly finished chewing and swallowed. “What does that mean?” He looked to Chimney first, but then his gaze went to Andrew.

“I’m transferring to the Smoke Jumpers,” Andrew said.

“What’s that?” Maddie asked.

“Wildland firefighter,” Buck said with just a touch of awe.

“I’ve been planning this for a while,” Andrew admitted. “Before the accident even.”

Buck nodded and he returned his attention to his food. Around him other topics of conversation started being picked up. Chim was telling Buck about his own experience in the fire academy while Maddie was telling Karen about her new job at dispatch. Buck was glad that Maddie liked it so much and that she was sticking around.

“I’m glad you have her,” Andrew said with a motion at Maddie. “You know, when I first found out you were lying to me, I was angry. And then Chimney told me about how alone you were and why this all happened and I could tell once I got to talk to you. And then, well, I figured messing with you a little was the least I could do.”

“Of course,” Buck said.

“And messing with my brother was fun too,” Andrew said.

Andrew fixed him with a long look then, a knowing one that told Buck that Andrew knew everything. Or maybe not everything, but that he had some idea about what had happened with him and Eddie.

“How is he?” Buck asked.

“Stubborn mostly,” Andrew said. “But he misses you, Buck.”

Buck didn’t want to admit to Andrew how much he missed Eddie, too. How much he wished that things could be different between them.

“And I think you’re being a little bit stubborn too,” Andrew said and he quirked an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t even know what to say,” Buck whispered. “Last time I saw him...it didn’t go so well.”

But he missed him and he wished that being around Chimney and Hen and Andrew and even Karen didn’t make him wish that Eddie was there too.

–

Next Chapter

Notes: Just one more chapter left. I can’t even believe it. Please let me know what you all thought about it!

Tagging: @tranquility-or-chaos @diazbuckleysworld @stilesgivesmefeels

#911 fox #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #buck x eddie #911 fox fic #fic #my fic #I'm With You

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queencatherynerhys · 4 years

Text

Stuck With You - White Collar Story

Prologue

Summary: Neal Caffrey had met his fair share of interesting women over the years. Once or twice he thought he had known what love meant. But he learned what being in love was like when he met her. Now he must face a future without her. How will he survive?

A/N: I know I haven’t been non-existent in Tumblr world and TRR fandom. I’ve been working on this story for a while. I was looking through fanfiction stories and realized there's never really been a Neal/Female OC angst story that caught my eye. I just don't know why, so I decided to write one of my own.

The character's voices might be a little different than you've come to know if you’ve watched the amazing show. If not, I highly recommend it. White Collar is one to binge through these uncertain times we live in. I’ve rewatched it several times now.

I apologize for any errors. I feel like I didn't capture it very well. But please leave a like or better yet a comment if you like it and I will post the next chapter.

Disclaimer: Characters mostly belong to Jeff Eastin. OCs and the plot concept are mine.

Peter was in his car heading towards his home to have a quick lunch with his wife. He didn't normally do it since he's always so busy with a case, but he found himself with a rare opportunity of nothing to do for a couple of hours since he delegated all that needed to be taken care of to Neal, Diana, and Jones. He turned on the police scanner in his car. He didn't need to listen to it because he normally doesn't respond to the calls, but he uses it anyway to get an idea of which road to avoid in the case there was traffic accident. He didn't expect the call that came next.

The female voice informed nearby officers to respond on a gunshot female victim on the corner of 2nd Ave. and East 17th street. Peter crinkled his brow upon hearing the street corner. Why does that sound and seem familiar? He thought to himself. Isn't that where Stuyvesant Park is? Stuyvesant Park…that's where she's supposed to meet the buyer…it can't be…he thought as he connected the dots. He immediately turned on his siren. Better to be safe than sorry, right? What's the harm in making sure it's not her on the radio? He thought as he pushed on the accelerator to drive faster. He pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket and called Neal and told him to meet him where on that street corner. He didn't give him a chance to ask what it was about before he hung up and concentrated on getting to his destination fast.

Flashing blue and red lights shone in the distance. Firefighters and EMT rushed about to attend to the emergency while policemen secured the area. Onlookers and bystanders paused from their daily routine to watch the commotion unfolding in front of them. Some of them were whispering to each other. Others had a look of misery and sadness as if knowing that the grim reaper had come to collect another soul.

Peter hurriedly arrived on the scene after being alerted in his radio about the gunshot victim. He flashed his badge to the policeman guarding the yellow tape. He stood aside and lifted the caution strip to let the special agent inside.

Peter's worse scenario was confirmed when he saw that it was her that was lying and bleeding on the ground. He watched with a worried face as the medical team encircled her. He saw as her eyes fluttered weakly towards him. She tried to lift her hand and beckon him.

"Ma'am try to relax, please," one of the EMT workers said.

"Peter," she ignored the advice and groans as she coughed up a bit of blood.

Peter knelt by her and held her reaching hand for comfort and support. He was not one to be squeamish around blood, but how was it possible to have so much around her? Was it his imagination? His guilt? It looked as if she was covered entirely in a pool of red. So bright and accusing that it was all he could see.

"Kell…it's Keller…" she warned. Peter's face fell and became red with anger as he heard what she said. He looked down and shook his head with disbelief as he pursed his lips The bastard was back in his city. He still hadn't forgotten what he did to Elizabeth, and now he'd come after one of their own again. But he couldn't worry about the dastardly criminal right now, his attention needed to be on the young woman in front of him fighting for her life. He saw her open her mouth to say something, but just groaned and coughed up more blood.

"Ryne, save your energy," he pleaded.

"One more thing…Tell Neal…I'm sorry…and that…that I love him…please, Peter…promise me…" she whispered before her fearful, begging eyes closed. He felt her grip weaken. Her breathing became more shallow. The medical team tried to hide their panic looks. They worked even faster to prep her for transport to the nearest hospital. Even though, she was unconscious Peter still felt the need to reply to her wish.

"I promise, Ryne, but you're going to be ok. You're going to be able to say those things to Neal, alright," he told her with feigned encouragement because he didn't know if she really would be able to. He didn't know if she heard him, but he hoped she did. Her wounds looked ghastly. He noticed that it looked like she suffered two gunshot wounds, one on the abdomen and the other on the chest.

The EMTs shooed Peter away so they could rush Ryne to the hospital. He went back and stood to the side trying to manage the shock and the gravity of the situation she was under. Ryne was able to tell him who shot her, but he was more worried about what Neal would do once he found out. Peter glanced at his hands and saw that her blood was smeared all over it. He realized that she was lying on the sidewalk slowly slipping because of him. It was his fault.

At the other side of the block, Neal rounded off the corner casually strolling where Peter told him to meet immediately. Even though his friend sounded rushed on the phone, he didn't bother walking faster as he thought it was just another break on the case they were currently working on. A conman was never late, everyone else was simply early.

Neal's eyes were immediately bombarded by the blinding, flashing lights of the emergency and police vehicles. He saw Peter exit his black government car and rushed to where the commotion was happening. He decided to pick up his pace then as he still had a bit of ways to go to reach the street corner, and now he had to fight the increasing throng of bystanders trying to make their way to the site to catch a glimpse of what was going on.

He saw Peter kneel and hold a woman's hand. Neal tried to look around the growing crowd and immediately stopped in his track when he saw the face of the woman beside his kneeling friend, whose hands he was holding. Everything disappeared around him and all he could see was her face. It was as if the world was in slow motion. He didn't hear the busy sounds of the concrete jungle. All he could hear was the nervous beating of his heart.

His face went ashen with fear and shock he had never known followed by an unbearable stab of pain in his heart. Before he knew or realized it, his feet were leading him in full pace towards where she laid. His panicked blue eyes were only trained on her. He saw the scene in slow motion. He saw her lose consciousness. He saw her once youthful glow become deathly pale or was it his imagination? He ran even faster to get to her in time.

"Let me through…excuse me…get out of my way…" he pushed his way through the crowd until he reached the barricade and a uniformed officer stopped him from entering.

"It's alright. Let him in. He's with me," Peter said behind the policeman. He nodded in response and let Neal in. He arrived just as the EMT lifted Ryne's unconscious body and started rolling her towards the back of the ambulance. He tried to rush by her side. His hand touched her cold skin before Peter grabbed and held him back.

"Ryne! Ryne!" All he could do was shout her name.

"Sir, please, let us do our job and take her to the hospital. If she doesn't receive immediate treatment her chances become very slim," one of the technicians said but he didn't hear any of it on the account of the blood rushing to his head. Neal trashed in the agent's arms, but his grip was stronger. He just stood and watched as the team lifted her gurney onto the back of the truck. As soon as she was inside, Neal heard deathly loud tones coming from the machine attached to her. When a second ago he couldn't hear anything, now all he could hear were the harsh fast beeps of the heart monitor.

"She's going to cardiac arrest. Prep the defibrillator. And get me an oxygen bag just in case," the lady paramedic said to her partner.

Neal watched them work around each other. He couldn't believe what was happening. He thought it couldn't get any worse, but he was wrong. His worse nightmare became a living hell. He saw her body shake uncontrollably until all he could hear was a flat tone signaling the sign of no life.

"No! No! No!" Neal screamed as he struggled in his friend's arms. That was the last thing he heard before the ambulance doors closed. He wanted to touch her soft and warm skin, to see her beautiful eyes open, to hear her heavenly voice. But all he did was watch her be driven and taken further away from him.

Neal didn't realize he was crying until he tasted the salt on his lips. As a world-renowned con artist, he trained himself to always put a mask and never show his true face or show vulnerability to the public, but who cared about that now when the love of his life was slipping away from him. He turned to face Peter and to demand some answers.

"Peter, what the hell happened?" Neal cried breathlessly. When he saw Peter's hands covered with blood, his knees almost buckled out of nausea. He didn't have to ask to know it was hers. Bile threatened to come up, but he quickly took hold of his fear to prevent looking more vulnerable and weaker especially in front of the bystanders watching them, or more specifically, watching him.

Peter led him away towards his car. He didn't answer his question or said anything else he just guided Neal to the passenger seat. When he sat down, Peter made his way towards the drivers side and sped away to the direction of the New York Presbyterian Hospital. They didn't speak during the ride and tension built within the small confine of the vehicle. Peter kept glancing at Neal, but he only stared ahead unblinking.

Not more than fifteen minutes later, they arrived and burst through the door of the emergency room. Neal ran to the reception desk to ask the status for a Ms. Ryne Beneventi. The receptionist typed in her computer and spouted off typical medical jargon.

"She arrived not long ago. They managed to restart her heart. She was rushed to emergency surgery, so it will be a while till you hear anything," she recited almost monotonously as if she didn't care about what happened to her.

Neal controlled his anger and just walked away towards where the vending machines stood. He paced back and forth the tiny hallway. He clenched and unclenched his hands over and over again. He felt so weak and tired. He leaned on the side of one of the machines to rest and shut get away from all of it for a second, but all he could see was her unconscious body. He thought of Ryne and how he would give anything to trade places with her right now.

He couldn't hold his emotions in anymore and he burst into tears as he slid down the side of the machine. He was so close to losing her. He still could. He rested his elbows on his raised knees and covered his tears with his shaking hands.

Peter's heart broke as Neal fell apart. All he could do was watch. He didn't know how to help, but he thought a simple gesture would be a start. He knelt in front of his friend shielding him away from the eyes of people passing by. He reached out and patted Neal's shoulder lightly to let him know he was there to support him.

Neal willed himself to calm down. It took most of his strength, but he managed to hold his tears back in. Even though what he wanted to do was scream at the world, he didn't. Instead he sealed his emotions temporarily and put on a steely face. Not for himself but for the love of his life. He knows she's fighting to come back to him, so will he. He will fight and be strong so when she wakes up, he's there to welcome her. Slowly, he stood up and dusted his Devore suit and faced his friend.

"Peter, what happened?" He asked again this time determined to not be ignored. Peter hesitated to look his friend in the eye, afraid of what might come when he tells him of what he learned. But if he learned anything about Neal over the last several years was that he'd stop at nothing to learn the truth, so he didn't really have a choice but to tell him Ryne's last words.

#whitecollar #white collar #neal caffrey #nealcaffrey #neal x oc #neal caffrey x oc #peter burke #mozzie white collar #angst #romance #hurt #comfort #neal x peter #friendship

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gotmeringinghellsbells · 4 years

Text

New Guilt

Fandom: Promare

Characters: Gueira, Lio Fotia, Meis

A/N: It is so hard to write t-fic for Promare but I have so many random ideas that just are weird and won’t work but thank you @kwaiipootato for the aid in idea execution. But Kray tickling Lio for his power is an idea that’s crossed my mind, and Galo saving him. Anyway, moving on. This isn’t a Galo x Lio fanfic because I do enjoy that aspect of them but also I thought their quick growing friendship was one of the cutest things ever.

Description: Time has passed and the city of Promepoils and much has changed. Lio Fotia encouraged his fellow burnish to start over and follow whatever passion they wane to pursue. From this, time has built up, along with unmeasurable guilt. Was he a traitor? Did he abandon his breatharian? Galo offers the idea of inviting the other two members of the Mad Burnish over to the shared apartment for a “guys night” to aid with this feeling.

Hands fell from the fist bump, blue meeting purple. Synced smiles emerged as a restored city welcomed all, legally, into it’s area. Discrimination and arogance became a more hushed ordeal as burnish aidded the work force, the modern civilian in reconstruction. Most throught nothing would com from this but a waste of time or just helping others. They knew they’d be unwelcomed, despite the new charge having nothing against the former flames.

She prefered to be called Governor, allowing Galo to even call her “Gov”. She was sweet, she was stern; but she was open to the idea of allowing the burnish to build their own city if they truly wanted too. She understood why they would, and no amount of money or apologizing would ever be able to make up for such harsh and inhumane treatment.

Kray was locked away in his shut down facility; his legacy being burnt as it was rewritten. The Freeze Force was dismissed and shut down, the Burning Rescue became normal fire fighters, a new police force with basic equipment erupted. Anyone could work and live wherever they please so long as they followed basic work ethics and had the right requirements. This caused some issues, but not too many.

During this time of regrowth though, Lio found himself spending more and more time with his blue haired, idotic savior. Wherever Lio went, Galo would fallow; and vice versa. Before Galo could rent an apartment again, he would follow Lio into sheltered areas of rubble and sleep near him. They worked together throughout the project and when the time came that the city was rebuilt, Galo was excited to ask the other to sign the lease with him.

Lio was taken off guard by this; but what did he expect? When he talked to his former team members, Meis and Gueira were less surprised than the blonde expected them to be. “Well, are you going to sign it or wait until we build our city?” “Our city”? The idea that he, himself had proposed hadn't even stuck around after everything that had happened.

As the blonde’s head fell, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Purple met red before a smile came across Gueira’s face. “A lot’s changed, yeah; but do you really want to live amongst these people? Sure, legally we can live here now, but do you want to? After everything they’ve done,” Lio lifted his head fully this time. “Kray. What Kray did, the orders Kray gave. The people don’t matter as long as you're happy, Gueira.”

The two males looked shocked. “What, you're saying it’s a good idea to stay here? With these people?!” Was this the same Lio Fotia that had earned the title as “Boss” to the Mad Burnish? The blonde thought for a moment. “I think it’s up to you to decide what you think is best. We’ll never fully be accepted, I know that. I’m willing to face that, to see this so called ‘equal’ city the new governor has proposed.

“I was offered a spot that I could enforce this so called equality and offer aid to those who need it. Without my flames, I’ve been at a complete loss of purpose. But I found i enjoy saving people and helping them. Other people have other dreams and passions they wish to pursue or education they wish to achieve,” he paused to motion to a moth holding her child to the side of the still abandoned market that the burnish were currently inhabiting. “Or an education and better chance at life for children. This is what I wish to do, your paths are your choice.”

There was a shocked silence before Meis finally said something. “So…. your staying with that blue haired idiot then, right?” Lio’s demeanor shifted slightly, but not enough to be fully noticed. He was a bit shocked by that response but pushed it aside. He couldn’t expect everyone to feel the same. “Galo,” he corrected. “Yes, I’m staying here with Galo to save people.” The room was still tesne.

The seconds in command looked to each other, unsure of what the next move should be. “So, that’s it Boss? You want to stay and try to build a new start,” Gueira asked. The blonde nodded. “Why not? Would our city be much different? We’d act with less respect towards a normal person if they stumbled upon us. Same give and take economic method they have. All I can say is the majority and minorities would be reversed.

“Ignoring a social issue isn’t resolving it, it’s just that. It’s ignoring something of importance. If you wish to leave and start your own community to avoid those who’ve done us wrong, so be it. I, personally, am going to stand and show it doesn’t affect me. Their arrogance, their actions, their words. We’re all human; even if they don’t see it, I do.”

His introduction speech played through his friends’ heads as they took in his words; his take on where they stood. They stood equal by law as stated, but socially they would have to make it know that they weren’t going to simply disappear into the shadows again because they weren’t wanted thanks to lies and oppression caused by Kray.

“Well, if that’s how you feel,” Meis started, looking up from the dirty concrete floor. Lio was bracing himself for an orally harsh blow. :Then I guess we’re still right behind you Boss,” Gueira finished. Huh? Lio looked shocked at this, not masking the emotion. “You want to stay?” He couldn’t believe it.

“Us two will, yeah. The others can decide on their own,” Gueira said with a smile as he looked around the quiet building. “They can't just force us back into hiding because it makes them feel better. We’re not bugs, we’re burnish,” Meis reasoned. “We’re people,” a woman said form the back. “We have rights too,” a man agreed. “It’s time to take action!” “We need to take advantage of this opportunity!” “Better living conditions!” “Better medicine!”

Soon enough the store was alive with the sounds of agreement. Lio looked a bit shocked. He’d honestly stopped by, not expecting for so many to understand or even want to stay. He smiled with no control of it before feeling two hands on his shoulders. Meis and Gueira looked down at him with unsure but hopeful smiles. “You’ll just have to see where life takes you,” was Lio’s departing words.

He knew he’d see them around again; Meis had the address of the new apartment. But it felt like the right time to leave, to let everyone's growth start to bloom. “Oi, Lio!” A new voice called to the blonde as he left. A familiar blue haired male waving to the other as he jogged over. “That was pretty noisy, how’d it go?” Lio gently took the jacket off the back of the motorcycle before pulling it on.

“Better than I could have ever expected.” The smile on his face was all Galo needed before he cracked a grin.

The sound of a door clicking shut seemed to be the only noise in the night air before a parental tone broke through the temporary bliss. “I still can’t believe your letting two guys you hardly know spend the night in your apartment without you there,” it lectured. The male being addressed shrugged before turning to the woman who’d be housing him that night with a smile. “It doesn’t matter if I know them or not, Aina; Lio does. They were the Mad Burnish. Gotta be close to have a functioning group like them, right?”

The pink haired girl shrugged before sighing a bit as she looked down past her crossed arms. “Yeah but have they been all that close since we defeated Kray? It’s not like they see each other all that often.” Galo gently took her arm before guiding her down the stairs. “Regardless, it’s his apartment too. His friends, his apartment and,” he sighed as he thought about the conversation that brought this plan about. “He needs some time with them.”

Aina looked at him with confusion as they walked down the street to her motorcycle. “Oh, is something wrong?” Galo shrugged as he stopped on the road side of the vehicle. “Ah, it’s difficult to explain. Frankly, I’m still not even sure what Lio was getting at. It’s like he feels guilty or something for everything. Like the burnish losing their flame, Kray being defeated, rebuilding the city, moving in with me and becoming a firefighter.” He stopped the list and shook his head.

“I don’t know. He’s my best friend, I just want to help him. But I can't save him if I don’t know what I’m putting out. Maybe this’ll help?” Aina thought a moment before shaking her head. “Your doing what you can, your being there for him. That’s all you can do sometimes,” she stated softly before climbing onto her vehicle. “Still though,” she started before looking behind her to see Galo following her lead, “I’m surprised Lio was so trusting of you so quickly. You guys grew a strong bond so quickly and from nothing.

“If I was in his shoes, I’m not sure I could have done the same.” Galo thought about her words. He’d never really considered or stopped to think about how quickly their friendship took off. “What I’m saying is, he trusts you a lot Galo. You thought this would be best to help him, right?” The blue haired male nodded; his face looked like that of a distraught child. “Then your already helping to extinguish his grief. Your a good friend Galo.” The other looked a little shocked before smiling.

“I didn’t think about it that way…. thanks Aina.” The girl gave him a wink. “Now…. how about some pizza?” Galo let out a sound of excitement before the two took off down the shockingly empty street.

It was both comforting and sickening at the same time. Guilt burned inside him, demanding action as if the flame had never left. He hadn’t been doing enough, he hadn’t been there for them like he should be; like he used to be. The blonde awkwardly stood in the kitchen with his former group mates before motioning towards the fridge. “Help yourself to whatever you’d like. We don’t have much, but I could try to cook.”

Meis gave a small nod as Gueira snorted. “Yeah, let’s see how long until you burn down the idiot’s apartment with that.” Lio huffed before crossing his arms. “I’m not that awful.” The red head walked close to the blonde with a playful smirk. “Lio you’ve never cooked properly a day in your life.” Meis sighed as he opened the fridge for a bottle of water. “Neither have we Gueira.”

He was a bit surprised to see some small meals here and there. Pizza from the shop nearby, pasta dishes; and a lot of them. The dark haired male tucked some hair behind his ear before grabbing the plate of pizza and walking to the microwave. “Forty five should do it, right?” Lio nodded. “Yeah.”

The sound of the microwave filled the awkward silence around the three before Gueira started to look around. “Wow, nice place you got here Boss.” Everything was rather plain and basic, yet homey all at the same time. There weren't many materialistic-type items except for a few pictures on the wall and a stack of dvds next to an average sized television. It made sense seeing as the burnish had to live as minimalists for so long.

“Thanks,” Lio said, feeling even more awkward. “So, anything here yours or is this all…. Galo’s?” Meis wasn’t sure he got the name right. Lio gave him a nod before sighing. “The pictures are his, same with the dvds. Other than that he says it’s ours.” Meis quirked a brow. “That’s an odd way to respond.”

Gueria walked back over before standing in front of Lio with crossed arms. “That Galo guy getting in your head or something? This and that is his but he says the rest is ours?” It didn’t sound right hearing it back. “That’s not what I meant,” Lio defended. “I’m just not used to all this.” Lio held himself awkwardly as he looked away, almost shamefully. He wasn’t clarifying much.

“Then why stay here?” Meis shot daggers at the red head. “Gueira. If he’s happy here, leave him be.” Lio was staring between them, rather shocked from the statements. “He’s still not used to this place. It’s been nine months.” As the two started to argue back and forth, Lio finally came between them. “Alright, break it up.” They weren’t getting aggressive, just showing they cared for the other.

It was clear that they were upset though. But was it about Lio leaving them? “Honestly, what’s this guy got that we don’t Lio,” Gueira asked with a more calm tone. “He’s a Burning Rescue member. He captured us, he captured so many of us.” “We wanted to get captured to find where they were keeping us,” Lio argued back with slight frustration. “But he didn’t know that!” Meis sighed. He was staying out of it until necessary. Turning back to the microwave, he pulled out the pizza and stood by the counter; watching his entertainment as he ate.

“I’m sorry. Do I need to remind you that he saved me? That he saved all of us? We’d all be dead if he hadn't helped. He isn’t against the burnish, he only had a problem with the fires we started, that’s it. The same goes for the rest of the rescue force. None of them hate burnish. One person can not dictate the beliefs and mindset of those bearing a similar label of identification.”

The two growled as they leaned in closer. “And his whole promise to protect you from everything people who don’t believe in that do to you? He’s really got you around his finger there Boss.” Lio growled a bit more as he pressed his forehead against the other’s. “Why do you hate him so much? You don’t even know him!”

“Because you were so quick to trust him and run off with him! For the love of everything you are wearing your work jacket! Your part of the Burning Rescue team!” Lio pulled back with widened eyes before looking away. Gueira looked shocked. Had he just…. broke the boss? Meis sat forward. “Enough, both of you. We’re a family, knock it off.” Lio was quiet as he took off the jacket and laid it on the chair beside him. Goosebumps popped up on his skin from the cool air in the apartment.

“So I’m a traitor?” Gueira looked even more shocked before, now Meis did too. “No one said your a traitor Lio. Look,how about we take a breath before anything else stupid comes out.” Meis glared at the red head as he spoke. “No, I get it. I left the burnish for a guy I hardly knew. Then to make matters worse, I joined the fire fighters.” He shook his head. This wasn’t a good idea, but the others had all the right to be upset with him.

“Boss, we never said that,” Gueira said with a bit of panic in his voice. Meis leaned forward before taking another bite of his pizza. “What’s on your mind?” Lio still wouldn’t look at them. “I feel like I abandoned you all. I feel like there’s more I could be doing, that I should be doing, but I don’t know what if people don’t approach me about it. I can’t just track everyone down like before. We’re not all in the same area.”

Purple eyes closed as a sigh escaped soft lips. “Maybe the city was a good idea, our own.” Meis and Gueira looked at each other before going back to the blonde. Lio suddenly squeaked, jumping as a hand squeezed his side. “Hey, what did you do with the Boss, huh?” Meis smirked as he walked around the back of the table to corner the blode. “Yeah, since when is he so insecure?”

Huh? “What are you two,” he gasped again, cutting off his question. Oh no. Purple eyes widened before fear started to kick in. “Don’t even think about it,” he threatened as he tried to squirm out of the trap. The dark haired male started first, tickling the dark cloth shielding the small frame of the blonde softly. Lio turned his head away from the offending hands, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

“What Gueira meant was that…. We’ll, we just don’t trust how fast you bonded to that blue idiot. We’re happy for you boss but we just don’t trust these people. You can handle yourself to an extent but we don’t have our flames anymore. You're like a sitting duck.” Four hands started to pinch up and down his sides. To keep his composure, Lio gripped the chair in front of him tightly, moving his body a little to try and avoid the touches.

“See? By now you would have had flames defending you.” Which would normally encourage them to torment the poor blonde more. “St…. st…. haop!” He was losing it. Meis sighed before moving up to the ribs. “What it boils down to is you have your friends, and we have ours. We weren’t trying to guilt you back.” Gueira nodded before prying hand arm from the chair.

Lio quickly grabbed onto the other with his free hand, only for both arms to suddenly before lifted overhead. Panic from his mistake hit him quickly. How careless could he have been?! Meis quickly moved behind the smallest, Gueira in front of him. Lio was pinned between the two. A hand held each forearm, keeping both arms over head as Meis dug into the exposed underarms. “Nhahahahaha! N-Nhahahahao! Shahahait- whahahait!”

Both grinned evilly as memories from living on the run came back. Sure, these three weren’t overly lovey dovey, physically affectionate people; but they had their bonding moments. Tickling down each other sometimes was the closest they really got to that; and it was mainly to mess with each other (or especially Lio). “Where’s that protection now, huh,” Gueira chuckled. “Yeah Boss, where’s that hero of yours?”

The blonde started to shake his head, not wanting to give either anymore satisfaction than he was. The red head chuckled before yanking Lio forward, quickly catching him and lifting him up from under his bottom. “D-Don’t even,” Lio squealed as he tried to balance himself by pressing his hands against the ceiling.

“But Lio, we have to test you to make sure your body’ll be able to move in that stupid, tacky armor you need,” Meis said, mocking Lucia’s designs. “Tsk, tsk, you should be taking this job more seriously.” Lio nearly slipped from the ceiling, face bright red; a hand started to squeeze at his thighs. “Ghehehet the hehehell off mhehehehe!”

“Maybe after we work out a few deals here,” Meis started as he started to squeeze higher towards Lio’s butt. The blonde was thankful he had jeans on, it wasn’t as bad as it could be. “For starters, don’t worry about trying to help us with our rent,” Gueira huffed. “You have yourself to worry about. It’s not your job to watch for all of us.”

There was no response. Slowly, Lio did move to hang himself over the red head’s shoulder as he couldn’t keep his balance much longer. Blonde hair flipped upward as tears started to form. “If you don’t say something your feet are next,” Meis threatened. Lio shook his head, laughing freely before finally choking out something. “What was that,” Gueira asked with a laugh. “Thahahat’s my jahahaob!” Meis shrugged before giving a short break to the blonde.

Lio didn’t bother to try to pull himself off the taller, nor did he need to. Soon enough, he felt something firm pressing into his lower back. The couch. Shit. He quickly tried to escape, only to get pinned back down to the couch. This time, Meis held him, and Gueira was the executioner.

Meis had his back to the arm of the couch, his body turned and facing the other. Lio’s upper body lay between his legs; his arms holding him down. “Wrong answer,” Gueira stated as he went to grab an ankle. Lio wasn’t going to make it easy for the red head. He tried kicking him, shoving him, anything he could before he felt a motion on his stomach.

Purple eyes crinkled shut as his back arched. A snort escaped his mouth before he bounced slightly in Meis’s hold. “Nhahahao sthahaop,” he whimper giggled. “Stop trying to worry about everyone. If we lived in our own city now, you’d be stressed non stop. You wouldn’t see your blue haired friend much, and we’d have to do this a lot more to get you to relax and calm your shit,” Meis whispered into the blonde’s ear.

Slowly, Lio started to relax as the fingers stopped. He wasn’t sure what to say, just relaxing in his friend's legs. He felt his hair move from his face, Meis wasn’t sure what else to do. “You were right back then. We can’t run away and hide because we’re not wanted. We’re people too, not bugs. We need to stand our ground, and we are. You inspired us to do that Boss. What happens from here isn’t your issue, it’s not been. Your a great leader Boss, but you take too much responsibility.”

The words did touch the blonde but all he could do was try to think of lightening the room. “Says the guy who had too little as a leader.” Gueira gasped before digging into the thighs once more. “I get all sentimental for you, and this is what I get? You're lucky I don’t rip these things off you so you can feel the full wrath!” Lio gauffed out a laugh, fully falling weak into the two’s attack.

He hadn’t laughed so freely or so much in so long. Body parts flew as he wasn’t going to make this easy on the other two and a few revenge jabs were sent out here and there.

“Yeah, thanks again Aina,” a voice came, slightly stirring Meis from his sleep. He glanced through half lidded eyes to the door to see the blue idiot. It didn’t fully register as he curled up to sleep more, pulling the weighted heat closer.

“Oi Lio,” the voice called out rather loudly as the door shut. “I’m ba,” he froze. A hand covered his mouth as his eyes widened. Was he supposed to be seeing this? Meis was in the same position as the night before, his hands up Lio’s shirt for heat. Gueira’s face was facing Galo, eyes shut as he rested on Lio’s stomach; using him as a pillow. His arms were wrapped around the blonde that started to stir a bit. “Mmm?” Gueira grunted at the noise and movement as Meis sighed. “Your boyfriend’s home,” he grumbled before trying to fall back asleep again. “Mmm,” Lio groaned.

Boyfriend?! Was he supposed to be seeing this? What happened last night? Galo placed his bag down before nodding and awkwardly leaving to sit outside until the others would awaken. He covered his blushing face; he felt like a peeping Tom or something!Well whatever they did, he hoped it helped his friend out of his funk.

#promare #fanfic #fanfiction #2020 #lio fotia #gueira #meis #tickle #tickling #ticklish #tickle fight

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wild-springflower · 5 years

Text

Do or Die

My own take on the follow-up to the tsunami everyone is doing. I haven’t seen the episode yet, or even any promos so, this is just what my head came up with!

“Captain Nash, Captain Nash do you have a copy?”

A strong female voice cut through the din of their surroundings and Bobby was quick to pick up his radio, not sure what he was needed for. In this type of emergency, it could be literally anything. “Go for Captain Nash.”

“Sir, I have a gentleman here that is asking for you, he’s pretty insistent.”

Bobby sighed, they really didn’t have time for this, not in the middle of a disaster. “Look, my team is pretty swamped down here, he’ll just have to wait.”

“He said to tell you his name is Evan Buckley, that he works with you?”

Bobby felt a flash of rage course through him, he loved that kid to bits he really did, but he never learned. “Swear to god,” He grumbled, before picking the radio back up, “Ma’am, yes he works for me, but right now he is on leave due to an outstanding injury and should not be working at all, so you tell him to stop what he’s doing and go home immediately or he will be seriously reprimanded-”

“I’m sorry Captain, you misunderstood. Mr. Buckley isn’t here helping with the tsunami, he was in it.”

“He was what?”

“Yeah, I’m transporting him to the triage center now, but he’s been asking you to meet him there.”

Bobby felt his heartbeat spike, using all his years of training to keep his breathing under control. “Okay, we’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Chimney halted in his search through the water, tagging bodies as they went, and glanced at the captain warily, having been close enough to hear the whole conversation.

Bobby nodded once, as an offer of reassurance, no matter how pitiful it may have been, before turning to the rest of his firefighters. “Alright team, drop what you’re doing here, we have somewhere else we need to be right now.”

Hen sat up and gave Bobby a quizzical look, “What do you mean?”

“We have to go the triage center; Buck was caught in the tsunami.”

“Oh my god.” Hen breathed, shock and fear coating her voice.

Eddie’s feet halted in his steady progress back, staggering and nearly falling over completely. “What?”

“I don’t know much, but he was cognizant enough to tell them who he was and have them contact us.” Bobby tried to soothe some of the fear and tension he could so clearly feel.

Eddie just shook his head, having trouble keeping himself calm enough to make sense and get his point across clearly, “No, Christopher was with Buck today. Did they say anything about a little boy, is he okay?” The team fell deathly silent, and Eddie stared for a moment with wide eyes before his frustration and fear got the better of him, “Bobby is my son okay!” He shouted.

Bobby held his hands up in a calming gesture, his voice cool and collected, “They didn’t say anything specific, but let’s get in the boat and head over there right now. We’ll get you to Christopher Eddie.”

Hen offered a hand, basically guiding Eddie into their little boat and forcing him into a seat. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t think of anything past the pounding fear in his heart; it was debilitating. He was terrified for his son, and worried about his best friend as well. And on top of that he felt a bone crushing guilt. The two of them were only out because he had pushed Buck to get out, to get some fresh air and have a little fun. He’d been so down and gloomy, Eddie had just figured him spending time with Christopher was a good way to lighten his spirits. If anything had happened to either of them, it would be his fault. The boat lurched forward, water spraying in his face as they booked it back to the emergency triage center that had been set up in the wake of this disaster, but Eddie barely noticed. They had to be okay, they both had to be okay; Eddie couldn’t even begin to think about what he would do if they weren’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he’d been pinned under the truck, with no means of escape and a psycho with a bomb strapped to their chest standing over him, Buck thought that was the scardest he could ever be. And then the wave came, and he lost Christopher.

Logically, he’d known he wasn’t going to be able to keep a hold of the kid, not with the force of all that water slamming into them, but the first few minutes after he resurfaced that Christopher wasn’t in his arms were some of the worst in his life. He had felt his heart bottom out in fear, desperation coloring his tone as he screamed, begging to hear a response.

And he’d gotten one. Obviously, their situation hadn’t been ideal, they’d just been struck by a tsunami for goodness sake, but at least they were together. At least he knew Christopher was safe.

And then the wave reversed, receding with almost as much force as it had attacked with, and Buck had to wonder who up there had such a sick sense of humor because he was really getting tired of being in such horrible situations. Yes, he knew how ironic that sentiment was coming from a firefighter, but there was a certain amount of detachment when he wasn’t the one being crushed by a truck or searching for a loved one after a disaster.

He’d turned his back for a minute, just a minute, to try and help some of the people begging to be saved as they were swept out to sea, and when he turned back around, and his eyes didn’t immediately see the bright shirt or sun reflecting off the glasses, he’d literally begun to panic.

Buck didn’t even spare a second to be mad at the rest of the people on the truck, because how could they have let him fall into the water? How could they not see Buck had been trying to save other people? How could they have not taken just one moment to be responsible for someone other than themselves? Because if he thought on that too long, he sunk deeper into self-loathing; he was the one who was supposed to be responsible for Chris. He shouldn’t have let Chris out of his sight, he’d let Chris fall in the water.

The fear from earlier was nothing compared to the raw terror he was feeling then, shouting desperately, on the verge of hysteria, as he continued to get nothing in response. No shout of his name, no flash of orange and white in the water, nothing. Christopher was just gone, in the span of less than a minute his best friend’s son had disappeared.

And it was all his fault.

Buck did his best to keep his breathing under control, the last thing he needed was to get lightheaded and pass out in the water, he was close enough just shouting at the top of his lungs. He knew he was feeling fatigued, the multiple trips into the water having really done a number on his newly healed leg. But he couldn’t let himself feel that, not yet anyway. There would be a time and a place to feel.

“Christopher!” He screamed again, his throat cracking with the effort. He thought he maybe tasted blood, but chose to ignore that fact, hoping if there was blood it was just from vocal cords being rubbed raw and abused by saltwater.

Something heavy and hard collided with his leg, his healthy one thankfully, but the shock of it still pulled him under the water. Buck surfaced sputtering, wiping water out of his eyes as he tried to regain some semblance of control in the raging wave. It had been a while since his feet had been able to touch any sort of hard surface, let along the ground.

Buck looked around again, wide eyes stinging, when he caught a glimpse of a familiar pair of red glasses. His stomach, which had been resting somewhere low in his stomach since he’d first realized Christopher was no longer on the fire truck, fell the rest of the way down to his feet.

Fighting against the current, Buck swam over and grabbed the glasses, which had been snagged against some debris, tightly in his hand. “No no no no.” He whirled around, combing the area and praying; he’d been doing more of that recently. Until Maddie had gone missing, he hadn’t really sent up a prayer in years, but he’d prayed then, and it had worked, they’d found Maddie alive. And then he’d prayed again, when his leg had been crushed under the symbol of his dreams and aspirations, and it seemed to have worked then too, because he was still alive. So, he prayed again, prayed harder than he ever had in his life, he needed to find Christopher alive. He couldn’t do that to Eddie.

The kid had to be somewhere close, at least, that’s what Buck was hoping. “Christopher!” He called, pausing when the need to cough became too great. “Chris buddy I need you to make some noise if you can hear me!” Buck stopped, treading water to the best of his ability and scanning the area, “Please hear me.” He whispered, blinking back against the sting of tears. He was surrounded by enough saltwater at the moment, he really didn’t need to be adding more, not to mention he was almost definitely dehydrated.

Faintly, he heard what sounded like metal on metal. His eyes widened and he spun around, trying to quell the threads of hope, because there had been a tsunami, of course debris was going to be making noise. “Christopher?” He called, moving towards where the sound seemed most prominent. “Christopher is that you?”

“Buck?”

Buck was pretty sure that one little call of his name added ten years back to his life, and he nearly sagged with relief. “Christopher!” As quickly as he was able Buck swam through the water, to where he saw a little hand reaching up from behind what had probably been part of the pier at one point. Now it served as a makeshift raft, where Christopher was holding onto the wood tightly, knuckles white and arms shaking, whether from exertion or fear though Buck couldn’t be sure.

Either way, the kid looked just as relieved as he felt, and quickly launched off the floating debris and into his arms. “Christopher, holy shit don’t ever do that to me again.” Buck wrapped him up in his own arms, holding tight and burying his face in Christopher’s hair, planting a soft kiss against it, and vowing to never let that boy out of his arms ever again.

“Dad says that’s a naughty word. We aren’t supposed to say naughty words.”

Buck chuckled, pulling Chris back to try and look him over for any obvious injuries, “My apologies, let’s not tell your dad about that huh?”

Chris smiled almost playfully, “What do we tell him from this?”

“Well, I suppose nothing isn’t an option. How about we leave out the scariest bits okay?”

Chris laughed, “Yeah okay.” Then his little hands were reaching up and brushing against his face, which Buck was only realizing now was slick with tears. “Why are you crying?”

“What this?” Buck tried to laugh it off, smiling as big as he could, “Nah, that’s just water buddy, no tears here.”

“I just have water too.” Christopher said, leaning back and looking towards the sky, still smiling, his own eyes bright with ‘not-tears’.

Buck laughed again, he probably sounded crazy, but he was just so relieved. He pulled Christopher back up against his chest and squeezed, taking a moment to calm his breathing and let his heart settle back down to a slightly less worrisome rhythm. At least he no longer felt like he was about to go into cardiac arrest. “Oh hey, I have something of yours.” Buck said, just remembering the glasses. He held them up where Chris could see them and watched as the boy smiled excitedly.

“My glasses!” He cried, he reached out a hand to grab them, but left the other where it was, holding a chunk of Buck’s shirt in a vice-grip.

Buck sniffed and adjusted his position so he could help Chis put the glasses back over his eyes, still smiling and laughing softly.

“Now what?” Christopher whispered; little arms tucked back around Buck’s neck.

“Uh, that is an excellent question buddy. Now we figure something out, I’m gonna get you outta here.”

“Yeah, I’m a little sick of the water now.”

“Only a little?”

Chris smiled and nodded, “Only a little.”

Buck shook his head with a breathy laugh, he took one more minute to cradle Christopher’s head against his shoulder, fingers rubbing gentle circles in the sopping wet hair, before his firefighter brain took over, telling him they had to get moving. They had to find help soon, because Buck was definitely beginning to feel the effects of the tsunami. “Okay kiddo, here’s the plan, you’re gonna slide around and ride on my back while I swim through this mess.”

“Like a monkey?”

“Yeah, just like a monkey Monkey.” Buck tickled Chris’ stomach just enough to get the kid to giggle, “Think you can do that?”

“Roger that Team Leader.” Christopher nodded strongly, already adjusting his grip so he could move.

Neither of them really let go of the other, which made the process of Christopher moving to his back slow-going, but slow and steady won the race, or at least got them into their desired position. Then they began their painful shuffle through the gradually falling water. Buck could tell it was getting more shallow, but not enough to make much of a difference at the moment.

He kept swimming, just like he and Christopher had talked about earlier, just like Dory. The burn in his arms, the uncomfortable wrenching in his leg that hinted at what could potentially be a worsening injury, he ignored all of it, pushed it to the back of his mind and locked it in a box, throwing the key away with the tsunami. Buck didn’t have much energy for talking however, so the two spent a vast part of their journey in silence. Christopher seemed content to simply be hugging Buck tightly anyway, and Buck knew that pressure against his back was all he needed to keep himself going.

“Hey,” A gentle pat against his cheek drew Buck’s attention, “Do you hear that?” Christopher asked.

Buck shook water out of his face and paused a moment, listening. It took a moment, but sure enough after a few seconds of straining, his ears picked up on what sounded like a motor. He’d been so focused on moving in the direction of land that the possibility of running into other rescue operations hadn’t even crossed his radar. “Hey!” He shouted, although the sound didn’t carry far with how raw his vocal cords were. He tried waving his arms but all that accomplished was an uncomfortable mouthful of water that left him coughing.

“Hello!” Christopher shouted, a little louder than Buck had been able to manage.

“Keep shouting buddy, wave your arms around a bit, I’m gonna hoist you up.”

“Like one of the rides!” Chris smiled, arms already above his head. “See us!” He cried again, and when Buck shoved him as far above the water as he could Christopher waved his arms around even more.

Buck’s own arms shook with the effort, but he pushed himself to go further, do more, and lifted Christopher even higher, almost falling completely underwater when the two of them came crashing back down. But it had been worth it; when Buck’s head resurfaced the little rescue, boat was turning in their direction, someone on board waving their arms back to let them know they had been spotted.

A small hand was once again patting at his wet cheek, “You did it kid.”

“You were an incredible help Christopher. Great job.” Buck breathed heavily, counting the seconds until he could stop moving his arms and just let them melt into the jello they wanted to become.

The boat slowed as it neared them, and a female firefighter Buck had never seen before ran to the edge, “Hey there!”

“Take him.” Buck didn’t waste a second, he needed to get Christopher out of the water.

“Come here kiddo, I’ve got you.” She called gently, strong hands wrapping under Chris’ armpits and hoisting him above the side of the boat.

“Now you gotta get my Buck.” Christopher whispered, scooting out of the way but staying very close to the middle of the boat.

The lady smiled and gave him a strong nod, “Of course. Sir, grab my hand I’ll help pull you up.”

Buck barely had the energy needed to throw his arm over his head, let alone pull himself all the way into the little boat. But somehow his hand reached past the rubber lip, and he felt a strong tug against the back of his shirt. He was straining as hard as he could, wincing with the effort, when he felt a small hand grab his own and start to help pull as well. It was enough to give Buck a last burst of effort, and with the much-needed assistance of the firefighter, Buck was able to flop ungracefully into the boat.

He fell on his back, panting heavily and just staring up at the blue sky. Christopher laid his head against Buck’s chest, and Buck instinctually began running his fingers through his hair. “Thank you.” He gasped out, not quite sure who he was directing that gratitude to.

“Just hold tight you two, we’re gonna get you on dry land and get you all nice and warm.”

“I want hot chocolate.” Christopher whispered, and Buck smiled.

“We can get you some hot chocolate kiddo.”

Christopher’s next request was voiced a little quieter than the first and was accompanied by a squeezing of Buck’s fingers. “I want my dad.”

That got Buck moving again, groaning as he moved to sit up, ignoring how the world spun for several seconds too long when he was finally upright again. “Are you in contact with the other firefighters working here?”

The woman glanced at him from her position steering the boat, “Yes sir, why?”

“I need you to contact Captain Bobby Nash of the 118. He and his team need to meet us back on shore.”

“I don’t know where they’re stationed, everyone is spread pretty thin.”

“I know I know, but I need Captain Nash. Just, radio him, please. I work for him, tell him it’s Evan Buckley.” Buck explained, he was getting really tired of talking, and he tried pleading with his eyes. “Please, Captain Nash of the 118.”

The woman pursed her lips but relented with a nod, “I’ll contact him once we get closer to shore, you can’t hear much of anything over these motors.”

Buck just nodded, sagging back and letting his eyes slip closed. “Thank you.” He whispered, his arms once again finding their way around Christopher’s waist and gently tugging him as close as he was able.

When they finally docked it was to a scene of absolute chaos. Someone tried to grab Christopher from him as they hopped out of the boat, but Buck just shook his head, too tired to even tell them to back off. The two of them were ushered towards where several cots had been set up, someone giving them a quick preliminary medical check just to assess whether or not they were dying. Then they were given a thick blanket and told to sit tight.

So that’s what the two of them did. Buck soon began to lose track of everything but the warmth in his arms, the steady beat of Christopher’s heart. It cancelled out anything else he might have been feeling and he fell into an almost blissful state of numbness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The zodiac had barely touched down before Eddie was jumping out and sprinting through the crowd, eyes wide; he wasn’t even trying to hide his desperation. “Christopher!” He shouted, growing more desperate the longer he went without seeing him. “Christopher!”

“Eddie, over here!” Hen called, waving to get his attention. She pointed to where several cots were all lined up, and sitting on one, looking more exhausted than Eddie ever wanted to see, was Buck. And clutched in his arms: Christopher.

Eddies shoulders sagged in relief, and if he hadn’t been so desperate to hold Chris close to him, he knew his legs would have given out right there. He jogged closer, tears falling unchecked, “Christopher.”

Christopher’s head poked up, and he glanced around to try and see where the voice was coming from. “Buck,” He said, shaking Buck’s shoulder, “Buck it’s dad!”

Buck blinked, the boy’s words took a moment to process, probably a moment longer than they should have, but when they finally did register he quickly set Chris down, no matter how much he didn’t want to, and watched him stagger towards his dad.

Eddie crashed to his knees and pulled Christopher as close to him as was physically possible. “Are you okay, does anything hurt?” Eddie pulled back and held Chris at arms’ length, studying him carefully.

“I’m okay dad.” Christopher smiled, brushing a hand against Eddie’s chin. “Buck kept me safe.”

A spike of emotion shot through Eddie’s heart, and he glanced up to see Buck sitting exactly where Christopher had left him, Eddie couldn’t even tell how much awareness he really had, the poor guy looked about ready to collapse.

“He needs a nap.” Christopher stated matter-of-factly.

The sentiment made Eddie chuckle, knowing that whenever Christopher was particularly exhausted, a nap was his go-to solution. “I think he needs more than just a nap buddy.”

“A nap is a good place to start.”

“That it is. Hey, you remember Hen and Chim right? Can you let them look you over while I check on our friend over here?”

Christopher nodded, holding his arms open for one more hug that Eddie was all too willing to give him, before he started making his way to where the two paramedics were waiting, figuring Eddie would want them to check his son over anyway.

That allowed Eddie to stand and make his way closer to the cot. “Buck?” Eddie asked, holding a hand out and looking at his friend warily.

“Eddie.” Buck’s shoulders sagged in relief, a tired smile stretching across his marred face. “I found him Eddie, I found him, and I didn’t let him go.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed; not quite sure what Buck meant. “How you feeling buddy?”

Buck didn’t really seem to register what had been asked, instead positing a question of his own, “Is Christopher alright?”

“Yeah, yeah Buck, you got him here safely.”

“Oh thank god, I was real worried for a bit. Wasn’t sure we were gonna find you.” Buck sighed heavily, his eyelids drooping and his entire body listing to the side.

“Woah woah buddy, Buck buddy you gotta stay awake okay?” Eddie called frantically, catching Buck before he could fall out of the cot completely.

“We made it back,” Buck breathed, still not quite seeming to comprehend anything Eddie had actually said to him.

“Yeah Buck, you did.”

“‘M tired.”

“I know you are buddy, but you could be hurt, we need to check you over. Eyes open okay?”

Buck just blinked sluggishly, “Christopher? Is he hurt?”

Eddie sighed, lips tight, he wasn’t sure if it was just exhaustion or if Buck had a concussion or other sort of injury that was interfering with his ability to focus. “No Buck, just a few cuts and bruises, nothing serious at all.”

“Okay good, was real-” Buck’s voice tapered off into an exhausted whisper, “worried for a sec.” He finished, the small sentence obviously taking quite a bit of effort, before his eyes rolled back and his entire body sagged downwards. He would have hit the ground had Eddie not already had a firm hold of his shoulders. “Buck, Buck hey! Guys I need help over here!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buck didn’t remember closing his eyes, granted most of the day after he’d lost Chris had been a blur, but it was still a weird feeling to wake up in a room he had no recollection of being moved to. He was starting to get far too used to hospital beds though, so although he didn’t know all the details he knew exactly where he was when he finally came to.

The room was quiet, a heart monitor beating softly in time to his pulse next to him and the quiet shuffle of some sort of material; the general din of the world outside his own room was the only source of any significant noise. He could only imagine how busy the hospital was after the disaster they just experienced.

His eyes peeled open with minimal effort but attempting to turn his head and survey the room resulted in a hiss of pain.

Maddie had been sitting in the chair next to his bed reading a new book Chimney had bought her when she heard the noise of discomfort, the book immediately falling away when she saw her brother awake. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Okay, all things considered.” He whispered, throat feeling like he had gargled nails for breakfast.

“Yeah, you were amazingly lucky. Mostly minor injuries.”

Buck’s eyebrows raised and he looked up at Maddie in trepidation, “Mostly?”

She nodded with pursed lips, but she’d promised him she was never going to withhold medical information, no matter what it might be. “Yeah. Lots of little cuts and bruises. Your ribs took a real beating, so you’ll have to be careful about those. Whiplash, hence the sore neck, so careful moving your head. Your leg, well for what you went through it sustained amazingly little harm. You’ll need to use crutches again, at least for a little bit, and the doctor has to keep a close eye on things to make sure nothing was damaged structurally and the metal implants are still holding up okay, but otherwise you’ve been given a clean bill of health.”

Buck nodded, swallowing with a wince. It really wasn’t as bad as he had expected, with how he’d been feeling by the time they’d finally been picked up by rescuers. They. A spike of icy terror shot through his heart, vocalized by the shrill scream of the heart monitor, “Christopher, where is he, is he alright?”

“Evan, relax, okay? Just breathe, Christopher is fine. He’s at home resting, he is perfectly safe. Thanks to you.” Maddie was hoping that would at least calm Buck down, make him feel a little better, but if anything, it seemed to have the opposite effect.

“No, no I lost him Mads. I had him and then I lost him, he almost died.” Buck shook his head vehemently, face scrunched in disgust.

Maddie settled gently on the hard hospital cot, gripping the hand not full of tubes in her own, “What are you talking about, Ev I don’t understand.”

Buck’s eyes began to water, and he’d just opened his mouth to try and explain, when a slightly breathless figure in the door caught his attention. “Eddie.”

Eddie’s eyes were wide, breathing heavily as if he’d just run up several flights of stairs in full firefighter gear, “You’re awake.”

Buck nodded with a swallow, “You’re alone.”

“I didn’t know- Christopher is in the waiting room, he was having a little trouble sleeping back home but I didn’t know if you were still out of it. I didn’t want him coming in here if you weren’t, well if you weren’t conscious.” Eddie shifted nervously, still standing in the doorway, “He saw you pass out at the triage center and it uh, it really freaked him out.”

Buck’s face scrunched up in anger, one more thing to add to the ever-growing tower of self-loathing. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Eddie demanded immediately.

Maddie watched the two interact, could feel the tension radiating off her brother in waves, and knew this was a conversation the two of them needed to have alone. “Hey Evan, I’m gonna go get some coffee okay? I’ll be back in a bit.”

Buck smiled up at her briefly but otherwise didn’t say anything.

On her way out the door Maddie gave Eddie’s arm a reassuring squeeze, “He’s real upset about something, I don’t know what though.” She whispered.

Eddie gave a small nod and stepped out of the way as she left, book in hand. He shuffled his feet awkwardly, he wasn’t terribly good at navigating emotions, but Buck had saved his son’s life, not to mention he considered the man one of his closest friends. He owed it to him to try and figure out what was going on. So, with a deep breath he stepped through the threshold, and crossed over to the recently vacated chair. “So how are you feeling?”

“Well, I really just woke up not that long ago, so I think the discomfort hasn’t really sunk in yet. That or they have me on some pretty good pain meds.”

Eddie laughed, “Probably a little of both.”

The room lapsed into silence and Buck stared so intensely at the wall Eddie thought it was in danger of spontaneous combustion, “How many?” He finally whispered.

“There isn’t a final count yet, but a lot.” He responded somberly.

Buck just nodded, teeth chewing the inside of his lip almost subconsciously. “There were so many people out there, I wish I could have helped them.”

“You did, you helped a lot of people Buck.”

Buck just sighed, the exhale almost sounding bitter, which only served to confuse Eddie further. Maddie had been right; something really was bothering him. Eddie moved to sit in the hard-plastic chair that had been moved close to Buck’s bed, studying his face as he went. “Can I help with anything, I mean, do you need me to get anything for you?”

Buck ignored Eddie’s question and responded with a question of his own. “Why aren’t you mad?”

The inquiry had Eddie reeling, blinking in shocked confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“You should be furious with me.” Buck said, his tone resigned, like he was just waiting for the mood to shift and for him to be proven right, “You should hate me.”

Eddie’s heart stuttered, “Why would I hate you?”

It took a moment, and when Buck finally did answer it was in such a small, quiet voice, Eddie almost didn’t hear, “Because I hate me.”

“Buck, you saved my son’s life, how could I ever hate you? Hell, I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to repay you.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Don’t do that.”

Eddie sighed, “Don’t do what?” He pressed gently, hoping Buck would just open up already and the conversation that clearly needed to happen could finally start.

“Thank me. Act like I’m some-some hero or something.” He said the word like it tasted bad on his tongue.

Eddie chuckled nervously, mostly because he really didn’t understand where any of this was coming from. “Well what should I treat you like?”

“A failure.” Buck snapped, his eyes were bursting fiery with anger, but Eddie could tell it was directed inward and not at himself.

The vehemence in his tone took Eddie by surprise and he was left sputtering, “What? Buck, how could you be a failure? You’re alive, Christopher is alive-”

“Yeah well he almost wasn’t!” Buck interrupted with a crackling shout, tears welling but refusing to spill.

Dread pooled in the pit of Eddie’s stomach, mind racing with possibilities, of the doctor’s having missed something, him missing something; Christopher hadn’t mentioned anything but maybe he didn’t want to talk about it. “What-what are you talking about Buck?” He hated how much his voice wavered.

Buck shook his head, he looked like he wanted to stand and pace, work out some of the tension in his body. “He fell off the truck Eddie! I turned my back for a second, and he fell off the truck and he was just gone. I thought he was dead, I thought I had killed your son and I knew it was something neither of us were ever going to be able to forgive me for. And yeah, sure, I jumped in to look for him but I- I was- Eddie if I couldn’t find him, I wanted that wave to kill me. Because being dead would be better than having to face you and tell you I let Christopher die. That it was my fault you lost someone else in your family.”

Eddie felt the confession hit him like a brick, sucking the air from his chest and immediately making tears prick behind his own eyes. “Buck, Ev listen, I don’t care. Okay? I don’t. Look, whatever happened in the middle, I’m sure you protected Christopher to the best of your abilities.”

Buck opened his mouth to interrupt, probably protest, but Eddie wasn’t going to give it to him. “Ev it was a disaster. You said Chris fell off the truck? Then he fell off the truck. But you found him again, you brought him to safety.” Eddie had to stop and breathe as a sob threatened to wrench its way out of his throat, tears were already free flowing down his face. “You brought him back to me. And we can talk through anything else that happened later but right now the only fact I care about is that you and Christopher are alive. You understand?”

Buck nodded, not trusting his voice to work past the tears lodged in his throat.

“God,” Eddie laughed wetly, swiping the tears off his face with a sniff, “Here I was afraid you were gonna be mad at me.”

“W-what?” Buck croaked.

“Buck, you wouldn’t have even been out on the pier if I hadn’t pushed you to get out today. I’m the reason you left your apartment.”

“I don’t blame you, honestly I-I know I needed it. I just happen to have the shittiest luck in the universe. But I didn’t blame you for a second Eddie.”

“What if we just say it was no body’s fault?”

The sudden voice from the doorway drew their attention away from each other, Christopher stood with a big, albeit tired, grin on his face.

Eddie stood and was quick to scoop Christopher off his feet, tickling his tummy on the way up, “Hey you, how did you get up here?”

“Hen brought me!”

“Hi,” Hen waved, leaning in the doorframe, “Sorry if I was interrupting something, Maddie said Buck was awake and this one was insistent on seeing him immediately.”

“You were?” Buck asked playfully, “C’mere you goof.”

“You’re the goof!” Christopher squealed as Eddie hoisted him above his head and swung him around the room a little before plopping him onto the hospital bed.

Buck’s hand drifted towards Christopher without him really even seeming to notice, still instinctually needing to be close, to ensure Chris was safe. He leaned forward as much as he was physically able, swallowing a wince, “So, what’s the status report?”

“Nothing of consequence.” Christopher said matter-of-factly with a strong nod of his head.

“You sure?” Buck asked, a mischievous grin growing on his face, “Not even here?” He poked at Christopher’s side, “Or here?” Buck poked his other side and Chris wiggled out of the way. “Definitely here!”

Christopher fell back with a loud giggle, clutching his stomach where Buck was tickling him playfully. “Stop!” He cried, a large grin on his face.

Buck pulled his hands back, laughing along with Christopher, no matter how much it hurt his ribs. Eddie must have picked up on his discomfort though because a second later he was walking over and kneeling at the edge of the bed, looking Chris in the eyes. “Whaddya say we let Buck get some rest hm?”

“Aww.” Chris sat up, smile fading.

“You can totally come back and see me tomorrow,” Buck promised, before opening his mouth in a hugely exaggerated yawn. “I am pretty tired.”

Eddie met his eyes over Christopher’s mop of curly hair, a small smile of gratitude silently expressing his thanks. Christopher needed to rest too, and he would feel much better about leaving if he thought it was because Buck needed to sleep himself.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow kid.” Chris said, reaching his little hand up once more to rub against Buck’s cheek.

Buck leaned into the contact and took the opportunity to blow a quick raspberry, wanting to hear the boy’s laughter one last time before he left for the evening.

“Alright mister,” Eddie gripped Chris and easily pulled him off the bed. “Can you wait for daddy out in the hallway real quick?”

“Roger that!” Chris nodded and started making his way to the door, progress a little slow-going without the aid of his crutches.

“Thank you,” Eddie said, standing and placing a firm hand on Buck’s knee. He sounded more sincere than Buck had ever heard him, “Seriously, thank you.”

“Thanks for visiting. You’ll be back tomorrow?” Buck wasn’t even the least bit embarrassed by the hopeful lilt of his voice.

Eddie smiled, glancing over his shoulder where Christopher was sweet-talking a nurse. “I don’t think that one will stand for anything else.”

“Good. Now get outta here.”

“Alright, I’m going. Have a good night Buck.”

Buck smiled gently, “You too.”

Hen watched Eddie leave the room, once again snatching Christopher right off the ground and pulling him close, the sight made her smile. She couldn’t even imagine how she would be feeling if it had been her own son lost in the disaster.

“Thank you, for bringing him up.” Buck’s soft voice broke the relative silence that had encompassed the room.

“I think he needed it as much as you did. Now get some rest, you look about two seconds away from passing out completely.”

Buck sighed, trying to stifle a real yawn that time with little success, “Any idea on when I can get outta here?”

“You don’t enjoy the scenery?” Hen joked with a roll of her eyes. “Go to sleep Buck, I’ll ask around.”

“M’kay. Night Hen.”

“Good night Buck.”

#9-1-1 #911fox #this is long #but there will be more #because i literally can't help myself #you know nightmares are a thing that need to happen!#my writing #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #bobby nash

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julianroth · 4 years

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name: julian roth

age: thirty-seven

occupation: currently unemployed

birth place: madison, ga. only recently returned after being away for a number of years.

tw: mention of illness and death

born to owen & adeline roth, julian was their second boy and by far the wildest of the four, the fifth finally being the precious princess among them. his mother was a ray of sunshine, loved by everyone she ever came in contact with which left julian wondering how his rigid father swept her off her feet. either way, it was safe to say that julian’s favorite had always been his mother but he sure made it difficult for her to defend him the older he got.

the roth boys were a rowdy group, even with their dad being a cop and trying hold down a strict household. they were known for getting into trouble but julian had always been the worst of the bunch. most of the time purposely trying to get back at his father enjoying the title of being the biggest headache. there were several threats of sending him off to some sort of boot camp but it never ended up happening thanks to his mother constantly stepping in between the two.

high school was the peak of all his troublemaking of course, he definitely made a reputation for himself throughout the town - the only times he felt a smidge of guilt for that reputation was when his mother showed a real expression of disappointment towards him. he’d act right for a week or two but then he was back at it. if it weren’t for being the son of a cop, he also probably would’ve had some kind of record before he was eighteen but he got saved more times than he should have.

as the roth kids got older and older, most of them seemed to balance out and leave those rebellious acts in the past but for whatever reason, julian never seemed to truly get his act together. after high school he would leave town and come back often but each time he did, the tension only seemed to rise between him and his father. they could hardly get together for dinner without one, usually julian, storming off. with odd jobs, poor choices and no real path on what he was doing unlike his siblings, it was clear that owen didn’t approve of how julian was going about his life.

what got that to change? the day they all found out his mother was sick, something she had been hiding for a little while before telling any of them, julian paused the breaks on the aimlessly reckless life he was living. he stopped with the random trips out of town, stopped doing the stupid shit people expected of him, even became a firefighter in the time that he tried to help her out any way that he could.

however, as time went on and she seemed to be beating her illness, julian only realized how suffocating the life he was leading was becoming. none of it was truly what he wanted and even though he was making the strides to act a little better than he always had before, he and his father continued to jump down each others throats, now it was only done out of sight from everyone else until he started acting up again. little by little, doing things he knew would only piss off the old man if he found out. it was easy to see julian was reverting back to his old ways and owen wanted nothing to do with it. the two had a big blow out, with actual punches being thrown which had never happened before, however tempted the two might’ve been. the whole family was witness to it, trying to pull the two off each other and once it was finally managed, julian had already decided he was done.

he packed some clothes and by the next morning he had madison in his rear view mirror, leaving absolutely everything behind without much word to anyone else. it was hard for him to leave his mother and his siblings but even then, it took him a couple months before he actually reached out and over the years those phone calls only seemed to happen less and less. it became a surprise whenever he reached out to anyone. the day he got the call from his mom informing him that his dad had passed, julian didn’t know how to feel about the news but it was what finally brought him back home to madison after almost 9 years.

he’s only been back for close to two months, looking more tatted up and rougher than when he left with a bit of a drinking problem he won’t admit is actually a problem. even after the time since his dads funeral, he still has no idea how to feel about losing him. he also has no idea what he’s going to be doing now that’s he back in the small town besides giving everyone something to roll their eyes at once again. bonus: he has a german shep named shadow because he basically acts like one.

connections:

i can’t think of much right now but the typical, old hook ups, high school sweetheart, best friends, enemies, old friends who use to cause trouble with him, someone or a few that he actually kept in touch with over the years.

the one connection I do have in mind is someone he was dating during that time that he ‘got his act together’ they could have been pretty serious and when he left, he also left her behind, breaking up with her over the phone once he was already gone. 100% shitty thing on his part. the two haven’t talked/seen each other since that.

^ this could also have happened with a best friend ( female or male ) someone he was ride or die with but him leaving kind of, you know, threw a wrench in that

#madison.intro

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raywritesthings · 4 years

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You’re the Hero, Laurel

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Thea Queen, Roy Harper, John Diggle, Felicity Smoak, Quentin Lance Pairings: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen, Thea Queen/Roy Harper Summary: Part of Oliver's letter to Laurel after the Undertaking makes everything much clearer to her, and she takes a far more literal interpretation of his words than he perhaps intended. *Can be read on my AO3 and FFN, links are in bio*

As she read the letter over, Laurel felt the walls holding up her life, her emotions, her very being tremble and start to cave in, just like the walls of CNRI only a couple short weeks ago had. And no one was coming to save her this time. Tommy was dead, and Oliver was gone.

She didn’t understand. Did he not want to be with her? After what happened with Tommy, maybe he shouldn’t. Maybe it was wrong, even if Tommy had left her weeks before. And yet Oliver was still professing his love in these paragraphs. Claiming he had to go so that she could save the city on her own. Didn’t he understand she wanted to do it with him? Just thinking of the struggles that awaited her alone now was enough to make her want to curl right back up in bed with some tissues and some kind of comfort food. Or wine. She deserved an early five o’clock for this, didn’t she?

And yet, there was one line in the letter giving her pause: You’re the hero, Laurel. There was an implied not me on the end of that sentence, and that was the thing she couldn’t quite figure out.

She had never called Oliver a hero. She loved him, faults and all, but she’d never been one to go overboard with the praise. She thought he’d had the potential to be something more if he just believed in himself, of course, but she hadn’t used the word hero.

She had called the Hood as much.

And suddenly, Laurel’s tears stopped. She couldn’t really be thinking again that he was — but really, what else made sense? The blame he seemed to carry for Tommy’s death, their sudden estrangement; Tommy must have learned the truth at some point. That was why his jealousy had suddenly boiled over, because Laurel had had a connection with the Hood that had seemed so familiar in a way she’d never been able to articulate.

Oliver surviving the attack at Queen Manor by that hitman after Taylor; his disappearance in the Verdant at the firefighter benefit, only for the Hood to show up; the way he’d acted in her apartment when the Triad attacked; that something he’d said that kept pulling him away. It was his double life, which he’d apparently decided to give up in the wake of the Undertaking.

The Hood hadn’t been seen since the quake, and she knew he’d made it out of CNRI alive. If he continued to fail to appear, that would only make sense if Oliver had gone and left the country.

The enormity of this realization had her rushing out of the door with her keys and racing to the airport in the vain hope that he might just still be waiting to board. She had to call Thea once it became clear she wasn’t going to get a look at the flight schedules for private planes. They told Thea that her brother had left just after dawn, which Thea related to her.

Laurel sank into a chair in the waiting area, head in her hands. What did she do now? Where was he going? He said he needed to do this alone, and part of her wanted to scream because didn’t he realize she needed him right now?

Laurel read over his letter again and again. He might come back someday. Was that someday dependent on the city being better? She’d have no way of enacting that kind of widespread change for years, which was how long it would take her to make it up the ranks of the DA’s office. Assuming she even landed that interview. The law just moved too slowly in their city.

But if she was the hero…

Laurel looked up. Could she really? The Hood had had to save her so many times. But Ollie was saying he thought she could be better than even him. Okay. Then that was what she’d do. If Oliver didn’t want her holding back, then she wasn’t about to disappoint.

---

Months later, Oliver reluctantly returned to Starling City at the insistence of his former teammates. His mother’s trial was coming up, and countless employees at Queen Consolidated were facing unemployment if Stellmoor International was successful in their acquisition. These were things he was willing to intercede on, if only because they required Oliver Queen and not the Hood.

When he insisted that he would not be returning to a vigilante lifestyle, Diggle and Felicity exchanged a look. “Well, you might not have to.”

He blinked. “Why not?”

“There’s someone new in town, Oliver. A woman,” Digg told him. “She showed up a couple months ago.”

“What do you mean ‘showed up’?”

“That’s when the police started noticing her, anyway,” Felicity took over. “She might have been active before, but their presence in the Glades is severely limited since the Undertaking, and that’s mostly where she’s been active. She’s a vigilante,” she added on.

“Has anyone been killed?” If this was another situation like the Savior, then it was his fault. He had brought this into his city.

But Digg shook his head. “Hospitalized, but no kill count. They’re likening her to a guy that was active in the Glades a decade or so ago. Uses her fists, mostly. It’s why she’s so low on the cops’ priority list.”

“Yeah, so you can sit on the bench for as long as you like,” Felicity remarked. Oliver frowned. “Unless, you know, you want to figure out who she is.”

They were both clearly confident this would sway him. Well, he had work to do as Oliver Queen before even thinking about looking into this woman.

First on the list was visiting Thea, who surprisingly had taken to running the Verdant in his absence. He couldn’t exactly judge her decision not to continue her education, and he was glad she was making something of herself in the way that she wanted. Less pleasing was her resolve not to visit their mother in prison, but Thea was refusing to budge.

They were interrupted by the arrival of her boyfriend, Roy Harper. “Oh, you’re back.”

“And you’re still here,” Oliver replied.

“And late,” Thea added. “Where have you been?”

“Sorry, boss,” Roy said with far too much cheek for Oliver’s liking. “Lost track of the time.”

His sister sighed. “Well, you’ve stopped getting into fights, so I can’t complain.” The couple shared a kiss, which Oliver decidedly looked away from. “Oh, don’t pretend to be grossed out.”

“I’m just giving you some privacy,” he insisted.

“Yeah? Why don’t you go see Laurel? She’s the one that told me you’d left in the first place.”

He looked down, guilt churning in his stomach both at his lack of goodbye to his sister and for his cowardice when it had come to leaving Laurel. He wanted to see her badly, but he had no idea how she might feel about it at this point. How could he explain that he hadn’t been able to stand facing her when knowing he was the reason their city was in ruins and their oldest friend was dead?

“Not sure where I’d find her.” He’d seen enough of the Glades on the drive here to know that CNRI still had to be rubble.

“There’s some fancy shindig the mayor’s holding tonight. She might be at that since she’s in the DA’s office,” Thea remarked.

“He’s not gonna get an invite in time. It’s starting in half an hour,” Roy spoke up. When Oliver and Thea both looked at him, he shrugged. “I watch the news.”

“I’ll see if I can find her there,” Oliver said. “You’d be surprised the kind of doors the Queen name opens.”

Diggle turned the radio up as they were heading back downtown. “Chaos as the mayor’s benefit has just been attacked by armed men calling themselves the Hoods.”

“What?” Oliver sat forward, his head poking into the front seat.

“They’ve been robbing banks, not sure what caused them to escalate.” Diggle glances back at him. “But they cover their faces and wear hoods in your honor.”

Oliver’s hands curled into fists around the leather seats.

“Minor injuries have been reported, with one of the perpetrators being captured after a run-in with the unknown female vigilante, who made a surprise appearance at the event as well.”

“Digg, step on it.” If Laurel was at that event with all of these varied dangerous elements in attendance, he needed to make certain she was alright.

But it turned out Laurel hadn’t been one of the guests, he learned when he arrived to find Detective — or Officer — Lance arguing with Lieutenant Pike while ADA Donner seemed to be trying to mediate.

“She’d been under the weather at work, so I suggested she take the night off. I’m glad it kept her out of all this, certainly.”

“Me too, since as your daughter is not present you have no reason to be at this scene, Officer Lance,” Pike stated with a glare. “Now get back to your beat.”

“Alright, I’m going!” Lance declared, marching in Oliver’s direction. He stopped when he caught sight of him and heaved a sigh as he shook his head. “Guess you’re here for the same reason I was.”

There was no point denying it. “Laurel’s safe?”

“Yeah. Suppose she would’ve been anyway, thanks to that woman. But, uh, you didn’t hear that from me.” Lance walked back out to his car and soon left.

Oliver lingered outside the building, pondering tonight’s events. The woman Digg and Felicity had said operated out of the Glades had come to stop the Hoods. Based on the one man they’d caught tonight, it seemed the Hoods might be from the Glades themselves, which perhaps explained her interest. It also meant she needed to have a pretty good source of information about what was happening in the Glades.

He walked around the side of the building, trying to determine which way she might have entered or made her escape. But as he walked further down the alley, he realized he was being watched. Oliver straightened up and looked around.

“Who’s there?”

A noise above had him squinting up into a fire escape. A figure in dark clothing hurried down the steps, jumping the last distance rather than using the ladder. She wore her hair long and blonde, almost platinum, and a nightstick hung from a belt at her side. Before Oliver could decide how to react, she rushed him.

“Hey!” He threw both hands up, figuring that was as believable a reaction for a billionaire, but all it seemingly did was leave him open for her hug. “Um.”

“I knew you’d come back.”

He knew that voice. And that smile, when she pulled back to give it to him. And that kiss…

Oliver pushed back on her shoulders, staring at her incredulously. “Laurel?”

“Not so loud,” she cautioned him. “Oh.” Laurel took off a black leather glove, licked at her thumb and leaned in to rub it over his mouth. “Didn’t know that brand smudged that bad. Could just be the color.”

“You- I— what is going on?”

“Exactly what you wanted. Come on, we can talk back at my place.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him along, and he was powerless to argue.

Mostly because he was trying to figure out just how this could in any way be what he’d wanted.

---

Laurel couldn’t believe he was back. She’d seen the car approach as she’d stayed hidden, listening to the police chatter and waiting for the right moment to slip away. Then Mr. Diggle has exited the limo and there he’d been.

Part of her was dying to ask where he’d gone all this time, what he’d done, if he’d worked through whatever he needed to and was here to stay for good. But she held all her questions as they snuck back to her downtown apartment and up the fire escape. Laurel went in through the window and waited for him to enter as well with ease before shutting and locking it again.

Laurel watched him look around at the mountain of blankets on her living room couch and several wadded up tissues on the coffee table.

“Neat, right? In case dad comes to check on my alibi with no warning,” she explained. “Speaking of, let me change.” She turned and went back to her bedroom, leaving the door open as she removed her wig and mask.

“Laurel, you- you’re a vigilante.”

“Yep.” She took out a makeup wipe and applied it liberally to her face. She really was going to have to ditch the black lipstick, even if it did better separate her from her usual colors of choice.

“And you’re okay with me knowing that because…?”

“Because you’re the Hood. Or were the Hood. You don’t have to lie again, I figured it out,” she said, taking off her undershirt and kicking off her boots. She pulled a rolling suitcase out from under the bed and started stuffing everything inside.

“How?”

She hadn’t anticipated him being so at a loss for words. Though when Laurel glanced back, she noticed Oliver’s eyes on her leather-clad backside and chalked some of it up to distraction. Smirking, she pulled her pants down as well.

“Your letter, where you confessed you didn’t think you were a hero.” Laurel covered the distance between them and raised her hand to his cheek. “Which you’re wrong about, but I understood you needing some time after everything that happened in the Glades. So I’ve been doing my best to fill in. Now that you’re back, maybe we can really make a difference instead of just keeping the city afloat.” She reached past him for her bathrobe hanging on the hook attached to her door, but he caught her arm.

“Laurel, when I wrote that, I wasn’t asking you to become a vigilante.”

“Then I’m not sure how you expected me to ‘be the best of you’. I don’t exactly have my own multibillion dollar company to run.” He still wasn’t smiling. Laurel sighed. “Ollie, what the Hood did last year for this city was more than anyone’s tried to do for a long time. You’re the reason anyone in the Glades even survived Merlyn’s attack. I know you feel like you failed, but you didn’t. Not anymore than the rest of this city failed its people.”

“I failed if it means I left you to pick up the pieces.” He shook his head. “You could be hurt or killed out there. If that had happened while I was gone—”

Laurel pulled out of his hold, folding her robe under one arm and walking back over to her bed. “What else was I supposed to do, Oliver? I wanted to do this with you, but I wasn’t going to stop and wait for you to come back. I’m not shutting myself off every time you decide to go anymore. This is my city, too.” She unclipped her bra and shrugged out of it, hearing him walk up behind her.

“What if I help you do this a different way? With the company, with the law.”

“The law’s not going to stop the rest of those Hoods. They’ll be desperate now that their one buddy’s been caught and could flip on them. I really don’t know what they’ll try next, but when I heard the mayor was their next target—”

“Where did you hear that?”

“I’ve got informants. None of them know who I really am.” If Roy Harper, for instance, realized the woman he was passing information to was his girlfriend’s straight-laced mentor, well, he’d probably think he was crazy.

“Give me their names. I can talk to them, handle it—”

She yanked her night shirt over her head and whirled to face him. “That’s not why I did this. I’m not a placeholder for you, Oliver. I’m in this with you, completely. Always have been, always will be.”

His expression turned pained. “And if you die? Laurel, what about Tommy?”

She closed her eyes. “I regret what happened to Tommy every day. But I can’t change the fact he went into that building any more than you could. And I can’t change that, even if he loved me, he was right. We weren’t going to last.” She looked him square in the eye. “Either I could have tried to respect what he did for me by living my life as carefully and quietly as I could while I slowly died inside, or I could honor what he did for me by paying it forward. I’m able to be out there helping people because of what he sacrificed for me. And the more people I save, the more that sacrifice means something. Isn’t that why you do what you do?”

He stared at her, long and hard, without a word. Whatever battle he was waging to find the words, he eventually lost, because instead he grabbed her face and smashed their lips together.

It was a hungry kiss. They were both a little angry, a little desperate, a little bit needing the relief of each other’s company. Her hands roamed up and down his back trying to anchor him, hold him down. His raked through her hair and ran up under her shirt, feeling her abs. Laurel gasped into his mouth when his hands roamed higher, and he stopped. They rested in place, foreheads bent together.

“Are we…?” Oliver looked so uncertain as he gazed into her eyes. Afraid and confused and so, so lost.

Come home, Laurel thought wildly. I left the light on for you. Instead, she snuck her own hands under her clothes and laid them over his. Holding him to her however long he’d let her. “Yes. Always.”

“And forever,” he agreed, covering her lips with his own once more. Laurel reached for his shoulders and jumped, not even needing the slightest boost from him to get her legs around his waist this time. It was a far shorter walk to the bed, too.

Tomorrow, they could navigate how this whole thing worked. In their public lives, in their nighttime personas. Tonight was just for them.

#lauriver #lauriverweek2020 #laurel lance #oliver queen #laurel x oliver #arrow #black canary #green arrow #my writing

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