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#and a lot of you have been here for YEARS and like. wtf you're RIGHT ive taken you guys along with me for everything
straykidsholicleigh ยท 2 days
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โ˜†*:..... LEIGH'S MOOTS !!!!
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@yessa-vie - my wife ๐Ÿ’•
i have to put this bitch first- ur the literal first person i started talking to on tumblr, no cap- words can't describe how grateful and happy i am to have u in my life like honestly. you've helped me with my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts and brought me back up whenever i felt down, thank u sm ๐Ÿ˜ญ sometimes i feel horrible bcs im bad at comforting people and i feel like whenever u want to vent, im not really helping but i promise to try better ๐Ÿฉท
also ur writing? like bitch ur writing? THAT HYUNJIN FIC ๐Ÿซฆ๐ŸคŒ like babes just throw me ur talent im begging u, i said it once, ill say it again; i am on my knees for ur writing ๐ŸงŽโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸงŽโ€โ™€๏ธ like whenever u release smth i get so excited idk- keep rocking yessa baby, ilyyy smmmm my unnie <33 ๐Ÿ’œ
@double-knxtt - my sister ๐Ÿ’•
life ain't complete without ya- like honestly, i kinda find the way we met sorta funny bcs i embarrassed myself on the first msg- ๐Ÿ’€ it's been literally 5 months since we've known each other wtf... if u need someone to talk to, pls, im always here and even though im not good at comforting ill try my best, okay? you've helped me with a lot of stuff and ik we've had a few fights but i just wanna thank u for being there for me and helping me out of my dark places. your my best friend and my sister ๐Ÿฉต
ur writing- girl, im begging u, DON'T STOP WRITING THAT ONE MINHO DRABBLE- girl, how tf u so good at writing? if u don't throw me ur talent like yessa, im finding u and suffocating u ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ”ช (jk, unless-) ily sm ok? always remember that my precious unnie~~ ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž<3
@kaiyaba - my other wife idk- ๐Ÿ’•
still can't get over the fact that we became friends through murder- im gonna start calling u my canadian bestie bcs... you know... we're both canadians? okay soo... UR MY PRECIOUS POOKIE ILY ILY SMM- sorry, had to get that off my chest- ur loaded with hyunjin pics, do not stop sending me them I'm begging- also those cards? hello? lmao they're funny af and yeah they did make me feel better lmao ๐Ÿ˜‚ also, ty sm for being there for me when sam broke up with me, that was a horrible time but ty sm~ ๐Ÿ’• im always here if u wanna vent ok?
also honestly fuck ur ex, he can die idc- ๐Ÿ’€ also I'd like more hyunjin pics when u awake, I'll be waiting ๐Ÿคฒ also, just so you know, u kinda slow at typing (cmon, did u seriously think i wasn't going to roast u atleast once?) ignore that last one- ily sm keep going, my racoon ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•
@thatonedemigodfromseoul - my daughter ๐Ÿ’•
OMG U CUTIE PATOOTIE, ANYTHING U DO IS CUTE ๐Ÿ˜ u can just breath and ur cute... u baby material, infant ๐Ÿซต also, still not over the fact we literally met THROUGH MURDER ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๐ŸคŒ๐ŸคŒ *deep breath* ahem.. ik life is hard and people are bitchy sometimes but i just wanna let you know that you're got it. ur a human too and sometimes things get hard but we have to do everything to survive right? whenever it gets hard, im always here for u if u wanna vent ok? ily my little infant ๐Ÿฉท
UR WRITING?????? UR FLUFF??? BITCH THROW ME UR TALENT I SUCK AT FLUFF, I'LL JUST STEAL YOURS, IDC ILL ROB IT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER- (that was so aggressive i promise im stable-) ... i still want ut writing bcs wtf?? for a ** year old, ur so good? huh? ilyy ๐Ÿฉต๐Ÿฉท๐Ÿฉต
@fauna-flora11 - my bestie ๐Ÿ’•
omg my pakistan baby ๐Ÿ˜ bestie, ik we don't talk much but i want u to know ily and ur doing great ok? ur doing amazing, im so proud of what u did yesterday, today, tomorrow and so on ur so cuteeee!! ily my bestie pls drink lots of water and take care of urself ok? and don't worry about my leg and lip, it'll get better eventually ๐Ÿ˜… again, if u ever wanna vent, im here ok? ilyy smm <333
i've never really read your writing but im encouraging you to write bcs your good at it! ill be waiting for that skz fic or whatever u have stirring up in that pot of urs lmao.. ily sm flora, keep doing whatever ur doing and keeping smiling ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•
@silverstarburst - my sister ๐Ÿ’•
hi my unnie! ik we don't talk much, but ty for taking up for me whenever those anons throw hate at me, ur really amazing and sassy like that lmao- ik ur always there for me whenever im sad and whenever i get hate so hopefully i can do the same for u, so whenever ur sad or need to vent, just msg me. it may take me time but i will respond and help u ok? ily unnie, ur amazing <33๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•
also, if u want a Chinese or Spanish name just ask me lmao- ik it sounds weird but i can give u one~ should I call u ash or wonhu? ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ ily my pookie ~~ stay hydrated and get lots of sleep and eat well mkay? ilyy <333
..... more will come (hopefully) ๐Ÿ’•
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hella1975 ยท 1 year
Note
Hi hella! I love love your writing and have done so for years and liked your posts but above all else I am a social media lurker at heart. But I wanted to tell you that following you for so long Iโ€™ve seen you go off to college and strike out on your own. Your self reflection and how you move through your life is so inspiring. I feel like your proud distant auntie sometimes cheering you on from afar. Growing up and going through school and into your adulthood is so confusing and frustrating and depressing sometimes but Iโ€™m a bit on the other side now and can tell you youโ€™re doing so well. Absolutely killing it and itโ€™s a privilege to read about. Your openness often has me reflect on my own life! I appreciate you bestie ๐Ÿซถ
reading this was genuinely so emotional BESTIE WHAT THE HELL
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#IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE I PROMISE I MEAN THIS IN THE MOST POSITIVE OF WAYS#because it just made me really reflective ig? like so much of my life and so many of my issues surround this huge isolation#either ive been made to feel isolated or ive used isolation as a coping mechanism or even that i romanticised my own capacity for it#but regardless i have a really rigid acceptance that im on my own through life#and as a kid that was terrifying and was probably what got me in my head so much#like staring at the enormity of it all and going 'i am alone. i am a singular vessel whose intricacies are inaccessible to anyone else'#and that is TERRIFYING. and yes while it will always be true to an extent ive realised it doesnt have to be entirely#you can share yourself with others and find love in that and friendships and it's taken me years but this year more than any#i feel like ive finally come out of a very long dark tunnel and no one else around me has any idea that any of this is a big deal to me#bc they never had any idea what i was going through#but like?? at some point or another you guys started tagging along and i overshared a shit ton lmao#and a lot of you have been here for YEARS and like. wtf you're RIGHT ive taken you guys along with me for everything#my sexuality crisis my writing journey getting a new job starting uni going into second year making and losing friendships#testing out romance listening to music watching new shows. like every part of myself that's too small and silly to share irl is something#i tell you guys without a second thought like i started this when i was SEVENTEEN and now im twenty you guys have acc watched me grow#im so emotional over this esp bc lately ive focussed mainly on the DOWNSIDES of me being online in these years#idk i needed this more than you know bestie tysm for sticking by my side and same for the rest of you <3 ily ily ily#ask
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alonetimelover ยท 5 months
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pairing: (ex)Harry Styles x Ginger Spice's daughter!reader x Max Verstappen
fc: Sabrina Carpenter
summary: They broke up and she decided to disappear and write a heartbreaking song. Through this process her old friends from F1 were with her. With one two-time World Champion getting closer and closer.
warnings: swearing, cheating, Harry is an asshole in this (sorry!)
a/n: Long? Oh yes. It's a long one. But also my first F1 related fic, hope you enjoy!
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f1 and redbullracing
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liked by yourinstagram, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 349 392 others
f1 Is there a better way to start 2023 season than with YN YSN (sweetly called the tiny boss of Red Bull Racing) in the paddock? We say there is NOT! Welcome YN, we hope you have the best time with us!
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yourinstagram thank uuuuu!
danielricciardo THE boss is here!
landonorris *heart eyes*
charles_leclerc Welcome back, YN!
ynupdates oh how i missed her face
ynsmybestie 5 months without even a photo of her finger online... it was a draught
ynsmymama yn's a vroom vroom girlie?????
ynsmybabie F1? is she a fan? tiny boss? what is going on?
โคท ynupdates I feel like I'm the only one that knew. YN is Christian Horner's (red bull racing boss) step-daughter.
โคท ynsmybestie isn't his wife ginger spice?
โคท ynupdates yes! she's YN's mum. how do you guys not know that?
โคท ynshands maybe because she's using her grandma's surname and not her mother's?
formulafan49 so we're getting las vegas content in bahrain? this sport is getting out of control with all those celebrities attending
โคท landonorizz why are you being bothered by somebody that knows almost everything about formula 1? go be mad somewhere else
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yourinstagram
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liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 2 201 302 others
yourinstagram hiii๐Ÿ’› took a break and wrote a song. you're losing me is out now! i love all of you my pathological people pleasers.
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danielricciardo be a happy song with me?
โคท yourinstagram running to you right now
โคท landonorris bringing mum's biscuits
โคท maxverstappen1 I'll bring myself ๐Ÿ˜Š
โคท danielricciardo you lot weren't invited, but come in... I guess
landonorris you're the only person I'm not mad at for making me cry, ynn
โคท yourinstagram you've heard the song before, lan
โคท landonorris shhhh
โคท danielricciardo it won't make her fall in love with you, norris
โคท landonorris fuck you man
maxverstappen1 ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›
ynupdates WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED HERE
ynsmybestie I won't recover. I fucking won't recover
ynsmymama I'm gonna die... its so sad. its heartbreaking. I'm losing myself
hArrysbtch woah, my heart cannot take this
harrysmoustache firstly, break my heart and take it, yn
harrysmoustache secondly, why is the whole f1 here? wtf
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harryupdates
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liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 45 202 others
harryupdates In his latest interview Harry was asked about his private life - especially his relationship with YN. After the question of "do you feel like you throw a great love away?" Harry answered with "I don't know. I don't regret a lot of things in my life but that's [the relationship] probably one of them." You can read the interview via the link in our story!
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hArrysbtch suddenly a six year lasting relationship was a mistake???
hArrysbtch ehh, harry. i kinda feel that the breakup (from Harry's side) happened a long time ago. there is no sparkle anymore
hArrysbtch now let me start on not mentioning her name like EVER "my last partner" her name is YN, why he can't just say it? it's been going on for years. since they started dating really...
harrysmoustache that wasn't the best interview
ynsmymama about 'you're losing me': "every artist has their imagination that they write down and then release. sometimes it's good and sometimes it should be kept private. i'm not the one to size it up." THAT WAS FUCKING LOW
โคท harrysmoustache as much as I love him that was petty af
โคท hArrysbtch especially when almost all critics named this song one of the best LYRICALLY and MUSICALLY in the last few decades
ynshands "I don't know if you can be ready to move on from a longterm relationship. it's definitely harder than from something that lasts months or two years." THIS MOTHERF****R IS TALKING ABOUT NOT BEING THE ONE TO MOVE ON BUT HE DID WHILE STILL BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP??????
โคท ynsmymama this is called audacity
โคท harrysfan49 cheating was never confirmed, was it?
โคท ynsmybestie yes, it was. right after harry's "announcement" yn posted a story with lyrics from 'illicit affairs'. i think that's enough of a confirmation.
ynsmybestie yeah, here he comes again not being able to fucking say her name. those 6 years meant nothing?
โคท harrysfan92 maybe he doesn't want to share his private relationship online
โคท ynsmybestie i don't understand that. you're loving a person for six years, claiming them the love of your life, but saying the name is hard? he never mentioned her in interviews (my closest friend, my partner, someone I love). he couldn even show up at her birthday party because he had a photoshoot. just to point out, the drivers showed up in London, even though they had a race in Imola the next day.
โคท harrysfan87 you guys are toxic. just gonna blame him for the breakup? unbelievable.
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ynupdates
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liked by ynsmybestie, landofan92 and 88 203 others
ynupdates YN AND LANDO AT THE NIGHTCLUB IN MONACO!!!!!
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ynsmybestie NO FUCKING WAY
ynsmybestie SHE LOOKS SO HOT
ynsmymama the way he looks at her ??? ๐Ÿซ 
ynsfan92 find somebody who looks at you just like lando looks at yn. YOU CAN'T
โคท ynsmymuse have you seen how max looks at her?
landofan92 do I need to change my bio from norizz to yesrizz?
user39 yeah, moving on quickly when her exboyfriend is talking about how he adores her
โคท ynsmybestie where??? because i only saw how awful he was to YN from the moment they broke up
user02 yeah, move on quickly and go trough all the drivers
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yourinstagram added to her IG story!
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lando.jpg
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liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1 004 392 others
lando.jpg yn showed her favourites
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danielricciardo LIAAAAAR. SHE LOVES ME MORE.
โคท yourinstagram of course
โคท lando.jpg i love your sarcasm
maxverstappen1 ๐Ÿ’›
yourinstagram not my fault you were the only ones available for photos
โคท maxverstappen1 I don't mind
โคท lando.jpg neither do I
โคท danielricciardo I DO
โคท charles_leclerc I DO TOO
ynsmybestie hot
ynsmybestie but also i see you YN with favouring Max and Lando, i see you girl
ynsmymama why I've never realised how hot those two are???
ynshands is there a thing she does badly?
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ynupdates
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liked by ynsmybestie, maxandyn and 68 574 others
ynupdates YN and MAX VERSTAPPEN at the bar tonight in Zandvoort, celebrating Max's win!
view all 4 206 comments
ynsmybestie SEE? you defend the girl, you get the girl!
ynsmymama i mean i was rooting for them but i am still speechless
ynshands YAS PARENTS
maxfan85 after the race that he had, tying to yet another record and getting a girl? is there a thing he can't do or can't have??
ynsfan93 sooo, do we say they're together orrr?
โคท ynsmybestie i mean, look at them. i have many friends but i'm not that cozy with any of them
โคท ynsmymama i vote early stages of dating. yn's a touchy person in nature so you know, it can be that
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yourinstagram added to her IG story!
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a/n: do you want to see more of them?
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part 2
3K notes ยท View notes
empty-movement ยท 5 months
Text
Welcome to Something Eternal: A Website Forum in 2023 wtf lmao
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It's 2023, and a single belligerent rich guy destroyed one of the primary focal points of uh...global communication. Tumblr is, shockingly, kinda thriving despite the abuse it gets from its owners, but that I will call the iconic refusal of Tumblr users to let Tumblr get in the way of their using Tumblr. Reddit killed its API, removing the functionality of mobile apps that made it remotely readable (rip rif.) Discord, our current primary hangout, has made countless strange choices lately that indicate it has reached the summit of its usability and functionality, and can only decline from here as changes get made to prepare for shareholders. (NOTE: WROTE THIS POST BEFORE THEIR MOBILE "REDESIGN" LMAO)
The enshittification is intense, and it's coming from every direction. Social media platforms that felt like permanent institutions are instead slowly going to let fall fallow incredible amounts of history, works of art, thought, and fandoms. It kinda sucks!
A couple years ago, I posted about a new plan with a new domain, to focus on the archiving of media content, as I saw that to be the fatal weakness of the current ways the internet and fandoms work. Much has happened since to convince me to alter the direction of those efforts, though not abandon them entirely.
Long story short? We are launching a fucking website forum. In 2023.
If you remember In the Rose Garden, much about Something Eternal will be familiar. But this has been a year in the making, and in many ways it's far more ambitious than IRG was. We have put money on this. The forum is running on the same software major IT and technology businesses use, because I don't want the software to age out of usability within five years. It has an attached gallery system for me to post content to, including the Chiho Saito art collection. It has a profile post system that everyone already on the forum has decided is kinda like mini Twitter? But it is, fundamentally, a website forum, owned and run and moderated by us. We are not web devs. But we have run a website on pure spite and headbutting code for over twenty years, and we have over a decade of experience maintaining social spaces online, both on the OG forum, and on our Discord. Better skilled people with far more time than we have can and will build incredible alternatives to what is collapsing around us. But they're not in the room right now. We are. And you know what? Maybe it's time to return to a clunkier, slower moving, more conversation focused platform.
You're not joining a social media platform with the full polish of dozens of devs and automated moderation. Things might break, and I might need time to fix them. The emojis and such are still a work in progress. Because e-mails no longer route in reasonable normal ways, the sign-up process instead happens within the software, and has to be approved by mods. Design and structure elements may change. Etc. The point being, that the forum isn't finished, but it is at a place where I feel like I can present it to people, and it's people I need to help direct what functions and things will be in this space. You all will shape its norms, its traditions, its options...choices I could try to make now, but really...they're for us to create as a group! But the important stuff? That's there. Now let's drive this baby off the damn lot already!
Come! Join us!!
PS. As always, TERFs and Nazis need not apply.
1K notes ยท View notes
boiohboii ยท 10 months
Text
The Spaniard's Wife (Carlos Sainz x wife!reader)
Inspired by @charles-eclair16 's fic
Carlos Sainz had a secret for the past 9 years, but when he forgot to take off the one thing that can reveal everything, everyone has questions
or
in which Carlos let's everyone know that the rumors, in fact, are true
masterlist
N.B: didn't turn out how I wanted but I've been rewriting it multiple times and I think this is the best option, hope you like it...WARNINGS: swear words a lot, not proof read, spelling mistakes and really bad photoshop tbh, if I missed anything please let me know!
Faceclaim: Emeraude Toubia
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Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, landonorris and 910,583 others
Carlossainz55: my wife and I have been friends for 20 years, we have been lovers for 13 of those years, engaged for 2 and married for 9. I have never been sure of much, but I am sure that I love her with my entire heart, I will always love her. I have known yn since before I could even dream of being an f1 driver, what happened in that one interview was disrespectful and just disgusting. No one has any right to speak any ill word of my wife, you don't know her and you never will, as long as she doesn't want you to. I will do everything for her, for her happiness, her comfort and for her ease of mind.
landonorris: tell yn I miss her!
Carlossainz55: leave her alone
landonorris: I'll tell her that you're rude to me
Carlossainz55: she's my wife!
landonorris: yeah yeah, you never let us forget it
username: yn been here since day 0 apparently, can't fight her now
username: YES!! CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS!
username: I want dts to make a reincarnation of their love story
username: we need a spinoff
username: yes! It'd be so cute
username: I can't imagine 16 year old carlos realising he is in love with his friend
username: she is every man's wet dream
-this comment has been removed-
username: she looks so pretty wtf
username: she's looks like a doll
username: wish i looked like that at 20 years old
username: her dress is phenomenal
username: this screams money
username: 2 different cars for a wedding
username: the third slide, holy shit
username: I wouldn't be surprised if the last 2 pictures are carlos' or her house, like holy fuck
username: both scream rich
username: mum used to say rich people look it and I never gave it much thought until I saw carlos sainz and now his wife
username: did y'all see the picture that one twitter user took? Their outfits looked so fucking good
username: YES! I SAW IT! I could never afford a thread on either outfit!
username: did you guys see her hair! It looks so thick and healthy
username: fr!
username: I want a wedding like that!
username: I want a husband like that!
username: I want a wife like that!
username: I love how he is not in one single picture ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚
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Liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, Pierregasly and 1,209,316 others
Carlossainz55: 10 years since i was able to call you wife, and I will never get tired of letting everyone know that. I am in love with you, forever and always.
Charles_leclerc: simp
Carlossainz55: I don't know what that means
landonorris: ikr, it's laughable man @.Charles_leclerc
Charles_leclerc: don't pretend like you're not the same with your girl @.landonorris
username: damn charles really coming for everyone's neck today
username: bet charles is the biggest simp of them
username: he really making us feel lonely as hell huh
username: 10 fucking years, Holy shit!
username: no cause if I had yn by my side I too would be in fucking love
username: don't embarrass yourself, everyone knows you're in love without her by your side
username: I didn't ask to be attacked like that wtf
3K notes ยท View notes
imaginespazzi ยท 3 months
Text
Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger
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Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?
(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff
Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)
TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!
August 2021
where are youย 
i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are youย 
dudeย 
are you on your way?
you better be driving and thatโ€™s why youโ€™re not answeringย 
PAIGE
iโ€™m sorry about last night i shouldnโ€™t have said thatย 
but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?
this isnโ€™t funny where are you?
i have to leave in 15 minsย 
are you actually not coming?
wtf????
this is actually bullshit
get over yourself bueckersย 
wowย 
fuck you
just landedย 
thought you might like to knowย 
sorry my plane didnโ€™t crash i guessย 
September 2021
dude enough okayย 
can you just call me back??
i just wanna talkย 
i know you're mad i get it but i miss you ย ย 
November 2021ย 
hi iโ€™mma be in dc over christmas
nvmย 
idk why iโ€™m trying againย ย 
maybe i should block youย 
this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuckย 
December 2021
i thought i saw you today but idk
couldnโ€™t have been you cause if it wasย 
would you really not even say hi?
iโ€™m done trying paigeย 
merry christmas i guess
March 2022ย 
i misz youย 
lyke a wot
love uuuuu pppppp
even if ur a bwtichย 
pkese pick upย 
ignore thatย 
people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text youย 
waitย 
i donโ€™t need to tell you thatย 
you already ignore it all anyways
ย 
August 2022ย 
i heard about the aclย 
iโ€™m sorryย 
idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk
nvmย 
***
September 2022ย 
When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually werenโ€™t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. Itโ€™s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more.ย 
Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. Itโ€™s been almost a year since theyโ€™ve seen each other, even longer since theyโ€™d last shared a happy smile. And youโ€™d have to go back to before sheโ€™d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.ย ย 
โ€œHi,โ€ Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesnโ€™t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azziโ€™s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But thereโ€™s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed.ย 
โ€œWhat are you doing here?โ€
Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. Itโ€™s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azziโ€™s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that sheโ€™d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the otherโ€™s girl's heart and tearing into Paigeโ€™s own soul. Some would call what sheโ€™d done self-preservation. Sheโ€™d call it her biggest mistake.ย 
โ€œI um-,โ€ Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, โ€œI was in the area and thought, maybe Iโ€™d check in.โ€
โ€œHow did you even know where I was?โ€ Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. Itโ€™s a version of herself she doesnโ€™t quite know how to deal with, one that hasnโ€™t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, โ€œI know I didnโ€™t tell you.โ€
Any semblance of calm is gone from Azziโ€™s face, as she seems to realise that sheโ€™s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend.ย 
ย โ€œAnd weโ€™re off to a great start,โ€ she mutters under her breath before replying to Paigeโ€™s exact question, โ€œno you didnโ€™t. Your dad-โ€
โ€œYou talked to my dad?โ€
โ€œYeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and Josรฉ so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe youโ€™d like some company?โ€
As Azziโ€™s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesnโ€™t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t-โ€ Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, โ€œI donโ€™t think thatโ€™s a good idea.โ€
Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly.ย 
โ€œI- you,โ€ she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, โ€œI canโ€™t come in?โ€
โ€œItโ€™s just- Iโ€™ve had a lot of people visit you know,โ€ Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, โ€œand my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-โ€
โ€œAnd Iโ€™m neither of those things,โ€ Azzi says, her tone low and breathy.ย 
โ€œThatโ€™s not what-โ€
โ€œIt is,โ€ Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paigeโ€™s chest, โ€œit is like that and it is what you meant and itโ€™s- itโ€™s fine.โ€
โ€œAz-โ€ Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, โ€œplease,โ€ and sheโ€™s not even sure sheโ€™s asking for, but itโ€™s not this. Itโ€™s never been this.
Azzi stops and when she turns back around, thereโ€™s a determined look on her face.
โ€œI just-โ€ she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, โ€œyouโ€™re the strongest person I know. And youโ€™re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because youโ€™re Paige Bueckers. Youโ€™re something else.ย  Youโ€™re the hardest worker, youโ€™re just- youโ€™re the best.โ€
โ€œYou donโ€™t-โ€
โ€œJust- just let me finish okay and then, then Iโ€™ll go or whatever but Paige, youโ€™re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, itโ€™s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you arenโ€™t. Itโ€™s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes youโ€™re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- itโ€™s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, thatโ€™s okay too. It doesnโ€™t make you- it doesnโ€™t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and itโ€™s okay you know- to be human. Itโ€™s okay if- if you hurt and itโ€™s okay if youโ€™re not okay. Itโ€™s- itโ€™s okay.โ€
The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige letโ€™s Azziโ€™s words wash over her. Sheโ€™s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe sheโ€™ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all sheโ€™s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because thatโ€™s what everybody expected. Paige hadnโ€™t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person whoโ€™d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.
The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. Sheโ€™d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parentsโ€™ or her friends. So sheโ€™d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then sheโ€™d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paigeโ€™s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadnโ€™t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.
โ€œI just-,โ€ Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, โ€œI didnโ€™t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.โ€
In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paigeโ€™s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod.ย 
โ€œTake care of yourself P,โ€ her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, sheโ€™d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it.ย 
โ€œFuck, Azzi wait,โ€ Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesnโ€™t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, sheโ€™s not fully sure what to say and so,ย  โ€œI uh- Iโ€™m out of milk.โ€
Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest.ย 
โ€œI canโ€™t drive,โ€ Paige explains slowly, โ€œor walk obviously.โ€
Realisation dawns on Azziโ€™s face, โ€œyouโ€™re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?โ€
โ€œI guess,โ€ Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant.ย 
โ€œSeems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,โ€ Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm.ย 
Paige flinches, โ€œright, I kinda deserved that one.โ€
She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says โ€œya think?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m trying here,โ€ she says quietly, and Azziโ€™s hard demeanour softens, โ€œIโ€™m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.โ€ย 
โ€œWhat do you think me coming here was supposed to be?โ€ the younger girl says exasperatedly, but sheโ€™s smiling again. Itโ€™s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.ย ย 
โ€œIโ€™ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s like 110 degrees dude.โ€
โ€œBro shut up, you know what I mean,โ€ Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like sheโ€™s floating. Itโ€™s not as if she hasnโ€™t been happy in a year because wonโ€™t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall.ย 
โ€œWell hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.โ€
โ€œPoor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,โ€ Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free.ย 
***
When she gets downstairs, Azziโ€™s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paigeโ€™s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart.ย 
โ€œNice car,โ€ Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.ย ย 
โ€œIt does the job,โ€ Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, โ€œnot all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.โ€
โ€œSteph Curry brand ambassador say what now?โ€ the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azziโ€™s frozen in place, โ€œwhat?โ€
โ€œNothing I just-โ€ sheโ€™s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, โ€œIโ€™m kinda surprised you know that.โ€
Itโ€™s Paigeโ€™s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, โ€œI keep up with most basketball news.โ€
To Azziโ€™s credit she doesnโ€™t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. Sheโ€™s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it.ย 
โ€œHey,โ€ Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, โ€œmy car, my rules, my music.โ€
โ€œNuh-uh injury privileges,โ€ Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue.ย 
โ€œThatโ€™s not a thing.โ€
โ€œIs too.โ€
โ€œFine, weโ€™ll listen to your crap music.โ€
โ€œI resent that,โ€ Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. Itโ€™s like theyโ€™re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.
***ย 
Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending sheโ€™s going to get anything other than just regular milk. Sheโ€™s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But sheโ€™s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet.ย 
โ€œMaybe you can show me your dorm,โ€ she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer.ย 
โ€œYou wanna see my dorm?โ€ย 
โ€œA chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? Iโ€™d never pass it up.โ€
โ€œNon blue blood,โ€ Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?โ€
โ€œI was talking about womenโ€™s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,โ€ Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.ย 
โ€œNot everyoneโ€™s a phenom their freshman year,โ€ Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice.ย 
โ€œWell weโ€™ll see this year-โ€ Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why sheโ€™s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air.ย 
โ€œPaige,โ€ Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blondeโ€™s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they havenโ€™t touched yet. Itโ€™s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress theyโ€™ve made today, thereโ€™s still so much they havenโ€™t even begun to unpack.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s fine,โ€ Paigeโ€™s voice is steely, โ€œjust drive.โ€
Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. Sheโ€™s clearly holding back and Paige doesnโ€™t know how to feel about it. Thereโ€™s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope theyโ€™re trying to string between them is fragile.ย 
They ride in silence to Azziโ€™s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige canโ€™t help but hate it just a little bit. Sheโ€™s aware sheโ€™s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but sheโ€™s determined to dislike this place out of principle.
โ€œHmm not too shabby but like whereโ€™s the fucking cows?โ€ Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azziโ€™s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things.ย 
โ€œIโ€™ve seen your apartment Bueckers, donโ€™t even try,โ€ Azzi retorts.ย 
It shouldnโ€™t surprise Paige to see one of Azziโ€™s teammates when they enter her living room. Itโ€™s just like UConn really in the sense that thereโ€™s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azziโ€™s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin.ย 
โ€œOh,โ€ Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, โ€œhi Paige.โ€
Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. Itโ€™s not like she doesnโ€™t know Charisma, theyโ€™ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. Sheโ€™s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten.ย 
โ€œYou didnโ€™t tell me you were bringing company Az,โ€ Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. Sheโ€™s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least sheโ€™s self-aware of it.ย 
โ€œLast minute decisions,โ€ Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell theyโ€™re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force.ย 
โ€œI insisted on seeing her dorm,โ€ she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s not a problem,โ€ Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, โ€œI just didnโ€™t know you were coming. But itโ€™s good to see you, Paige.โ€
โ€œYeah,โ€ Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, โ€œyou too.โ€
โ€œWeโ€™re gonna go chill in my room,โ€ Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. Sheโ€™s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself.ย 
The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. Sheโ€™s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. Sheโ€™s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. Sheโ€™s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. Thereโ€™s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azziโ€™s family. Sheโ€™s missed them. Then thereโ€™s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise sheโ€™d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat.ย 
Itโ€™s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesotaย  state fair. Azziโ€™s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m on your wall,โ€ Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, โ€œFuck, Iโ€™m on you wall.โ€
โ€œOf course you are,โ€ Azzi affirms, like itโ€™s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour.ย 
โ€œI never answered your texts. I didnโ€™t call you back,โ€ Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; sheโ€™s been holding them back all day, โ€œand Iโ€™m on your fucking wall.โ€
Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently theyโ€™re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesnโ€™t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.
โ€œDoesnโ€™t matter,โ€ she shrugs finally, โ€œyouโ€™re my best friend. Youโ€™re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?โ€
โ€œRide or die,โ€ Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girlโ€™s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. Itโ€™s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other.ย 
***
That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.
November 2020
โ€œYouโ€™ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably wonโ€™t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?โ€ Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.
Sheโ€™s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning whatโ€™ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isnโ€™t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality itโ€™s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, sheโ€™d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles sheโ€™d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus.ย 
โ€œDid you see my assist to Christyn today?โ€ Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk.ย 
โ€œIt was pretty great,โ€ Azzi concedes.ย 
โ€œIt was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.โ€
โ€œRight.โ€
โ€œAnd then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.โ€
โ€œThey seem wonderful P.โ€
Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.
โ€œAre you allergic to my bed?โ€ Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesnโ€™t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, โ€œAz, you good?โ€
โ€œI- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, โ€œI need to tell you something and I- Iโ€™m not sure how youโ€™re gonna react.โ€ย 
โ€œYou get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I donโ€™t know about?โ€ She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paigeโ€™s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that.ย 
โ€œWhat? No. Just- just donโ€™t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but donโ€™t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said youโ€™d get it. Youโ€™d be upset but youโ€™d- youโ€™d get it because you- you get me right?โ€
Paigeโ€™s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, โ€œyouโ€™re scaring the shit out of me right now.โ€
โ€œIโ€™mcommittingtoUCLAโ€ Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together.ย 
Sheโ€™s sure sheโ€™s heard it wrong. Thereโ€™s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paigeโ€™s efforts.ย 
โ€œWhat?โ€ she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard.ย 
When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasnโ€™t, โ€œIโ€™m committing to UCLA.โ€
The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azziโ€™s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When theyโ€™d become bus buddies, theyโ€™d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.
โ€œSay something,โ€ Azzi says finally, her voice shaking.ย 
Paige stares at her for a second before, โ€œyou named your dog Stewie.โ€
โ€œWhat?โ€
โ€œYou named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. Itโ€™s not-โ€ Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly โ€œitโ€™s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?โ€
Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane.ย 
โ€œThis is a joke right? Youโ€™re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,โ€ she claps deliriously,ย  โ€œhilarious prank seriously, like hats off youโ€™ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.โ€
Azzi makes a strangled noise, โ€œitโ€™s not a joke Paige. Thatโ€™s- thatโ€™s my decision.โ€
โ€œThen change it,โ€ Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.
โ€œPaige-โ€
โ€œHave you told UCLA yet?โ€
โ€œI wanted to tell my family and you first.โ€
โ€œOh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,โ€ Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches.ย 
In a flash, Paigeโ€™s expression goes from angry to desperate, โ€œyou still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and youโ€™ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course itโ€™s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And youโ€™ll see this is where you belong,โ€ she leaves the, with me, unsaid.ย 
โ€œPaige,โ€ Azziโ€™s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. Itโ€™s the first time in a long time that Azziโ€™s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It wonโ€™t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows sheโ€™s lost.ย 
โ€œNo,โ€ sheโ€™s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, โ€œthis is not fucking happening. Weโ€™re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?โ€
โ€œOf course not-โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Mustโ€™ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s not fair,โ€ย  Azziโ€™s voice rises at the accusation, โ€œI had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You canโ€™t seriously think that low of me.โ€
โ€œNot fair? You know whatโ€™s not fair, Azzi? Weโ€™ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. Whatโ€™s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future weโ€™re talking about. You donโ€™t even know how much thought Iโ€™ve put into it. And Iโ€™m choosing whatโ€™s best for me. You canโ€™t hold that against me Paige. You canโ€™t.โ€
They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they donโ€™t argue. Or at least, thatโ€™s how it used to be.ย 
โ€œAz?โ€ their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl whoโ€™d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, โ€œweโ€™re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?โ€
The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps.ย 
โ€œSheโ€™s going with you,โ€ the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She wonโ€™t let Azzi see the tears, she wonโ€™t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paigeโ€™s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on.ย 
โ€œFine. If thatโ€™s what you fucking want,โ€ Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears.ย 
When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azziโ€™s mom soothingly rubs her back.ย 
โ€œWeโ€™re driving back tomorrow morning,โ€ Katie whispers quietly into Paigeโ€™s hair, โ€œI know youโ€™re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?โ€
And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment itโ€™s enough. Theyโ€™ll call later when Azzi gets home and itโ€™ll be awkward for a little bit but theyโ€™ll break through. Theyโ€™ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the โ€œbig thingโ€. Theyโ€™ll hold on as long as they can, until they canโ€™t anymore.ย 
***
September 2022
After the night Paige stays over at Azziโ€™s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. Theyโ€™ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girlโ€™s time is Paigeโ€™s. The first time sheโ€™d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. Sheโ€™d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all Iโ€™ll ever need.ย 
On days Paige doesnโ€™t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.ย  Itโ€™s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times itโ€™s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but itโ€™s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if theyโ€™d never fallen apart. And whatโ€™s more terrifying than finding out that sheโ€™d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi.ย 
When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if sheโ€™s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isnโ€™t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paigeโ€™s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step.ย 
โ€œYou should invite her out with us tonight,โ€ Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile.ย 
โ€œCarol,โ€ Nika hisses, โ€œwe canโ€™t just invite the enemy.โ€
โ€œSheโ€™s not the enemy,โ€ Paige defends immediately, โ€œwe donโ€™t even have a rivalry with UCLA.โ€
Nika scoffs indignantly, โ€œof course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! Thatโ€™s weird. Who even does that?โ€
โ€œLots of people do,โ€ Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit sheโ€™s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her.ย 
Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, โ€œignore Nika. She doesnโ€™t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.โ€ย 
And she does, she wants to so badly. Itโ€™s insane really because it hasnโ€™t even been a full day since theyโ€™d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. Thereโ€™s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if theyโ€™re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, itโ€™ll have to happen.ย 
โ€œPut her on speaker,โ€ Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her.ย 
โ€œNika,โ€ Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, โ€œweโ€™re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.โ€
Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasingย  โ€œmiss me already?โ€
Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when youโ€™re right here next to me, sometimes I think Iโ€™ll miss you forever. But she doesnโ€™t say any of that.ย 
โ€œNot a chance,โ€ she scoffs instead, โ€œbesides you called me first.โ€
โ€œButt dial.โ€
โ€œMmmhmm Iโ€™m sure.โ€
โ€œShut up,โ€ Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates arenโ€™t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, โ€œI just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?โ€
โ€œYeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?โ€ย 
Thereโ€™s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azziโ€™s going through the same thought process as her.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-โ€
โ€œYou wouldnโ€™t be intruding,โ€ Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being โ€œpussywhippedโ€ followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away.ย 
On the other end of the line, Azziโ€™s quiet again, โ€œitโ€™s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We donโ€™t have to spend every night together. Iโ€™ll see you tomorrow.โ€
What she doesnโ€™t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. Itโ€™s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure theyโ€™ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again.ย 
โ€œBut I wanna see you tonight,โ€ Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, โ€œplease.โ€
โ€œPaige-โ€
โ€œPleaseeeeeee. Iโ€™m literally injured and begging Az, itโ€™d be mean to say no.โ€
โ€œWhat does your injury even have to do with any of this?โ€ Azzi sighs exasperatedly, โ€œbut yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, Iโ€™ll be there.โ€
โ€œYou donโ€™t wanna come pregame here?โ€ย 
โ€œDude, let's not push it, okay?โ€
โ€œYeah, yeah okay see you,โ€ Paige pauses, โ€œhey Az?โ€
โ€œHmm?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m really happy youโ€™re coming tonight.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m really happy youโ€™re happy P.โ€
***
Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paigeโ€™s life. But tonight, in Paigeโ€™s opinion, tonight is Azziโ€™s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but sheโ€™s forced to just watch.ย 
What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azziโ€™s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (itโ€™s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people.ย 
The thing is, Azziโ€™s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paigeโ€™s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, whoโ€™s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.
โ€œNikaโ€™s a little wasted and I donโ€™t want to deal with,โ€ itโ€™s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Carolineโ€™s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girlโ€™s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so sheโ€™s facing Paige.ย 
โ€œYou having fun?โ€ย 
โ€œAlways have fun with you P,โ€ Azzi replies. Sheโ€™s clearly tipsy but thereโ€™s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paigeโ€™s breath hitch.ย 
โ€œYeah?โ€ she whispers, taking a step closer, โ€œmore than with Carol?โ€
Azzi giggles, โ€œmore than anyone.โ€
The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azziโ€™s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. Theyโ€™re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azziโ€™s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azziโ€™s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesnโ€™t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that sheโ€™d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface.ย 
Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azziโ€™s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azziโ€™s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azziโ€™s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows thereโ€™ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azziโ€™s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together.ย 
This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azziโ€™s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesnโ€™t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azziโ€™s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste.ย 
***
It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azziโ€™s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths.ย 
โ€œThatโ€™s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,โ€ Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety.ย 
Itโ€™s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, โ€œyou kiss a lot of girls donโ€™t you.โ€
โ€œYeah and most of them kiss me back,โ€ Paige bites back.ย 
Sheโ€™s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girlโ€™s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall.ย 
โ€œI wonโ€™t be one of your groupies Paige. I wonโ€™t be one of your desperate one night stands. I wonโ€™t be just some other hookup. I wonโ€™t!โ€
Frankly sheโ€™s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. Sheโ€™s aware of her reputation. In fact sheโ€™d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and sheโ€™d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesnโ€™t know that.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t want you to be any of that,โ€ she replies feebly.ย 
โ€œThen what, do you want me to be?โ€ Azziโ€™s voice rises with each syllable.ย 
Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except thereโ€™s too much between them and she just canโ€™t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.
โ€œI think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,โ€ she says miserably, โ€œand that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because itโ€™s not real. Youโ€™re gonna go back to your world and youโ€™ll- youโ€™ll stop replying to my texts and youโ€™ll stop- youโ€™ll stop calling me and I- I donโ€™t know if I can do that again.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s an awful lot of assumptions youโ€™re making about me,โ€ Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing.ย 
โ€œBecause thatโ€™s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, โ€œI chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.โ€
Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, โ€œokay, okay letโ€™s not- letโ€™s not do this okay. Itโ€™ll be better this time- I- I wonโ€™t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s the thing,โ€ Azziโ€™s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, โ€œI donโ€™t know if I believe that you will,โ€ a single tear rolls down her cheek, โ€œI- I donโ€™t fully trust you and you havenโ€™t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?โ€
Itโ€™s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azziโ€™s words squeeze at her heart, because all itโ€™s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed.ย 
โ€œAzzi, what are you saying? You donโ€™t- you donโ€™t wanna be friends?โ€ Paige feels nauseous even saying it.ย 
โ€œNo I-โ€ Azzi chews at her bottom lip, โ€œIโ€™m saying this- us- weโ€™re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I donโ€™t think I could survive losing something more.โ€ย 
The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesnโ€™t know what sheโ€™d expected to happen if Azzi hadnโ€™t pulled away when she did. Theyโ€™d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesnโ€™t mean Paige has to like it.ย 
In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azziโ€™s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girlโ€™s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesnโ€™t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if sheโ€™s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear.ย 
โ€œYou didnโ€™t lose me you know,โ€ Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azziโ€™s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, โ€œI know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didnโ€™t- I didnโ€™t lose you and you didnโ€™t lose me. Thereโ€™s a difference. I donโ€™t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.โ€
When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, โ€œwell Bueckers, if basketball doesnโ€™t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.โ€
โ€œI could do whatever I wanted,โ€ except what I want to do the most.ย 
It doesnโ€™t take long for the Uber Azziโ€™s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paigeโ€™s spine. She knows tonight isnโ€™t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before theyโ€™re surging into each otherโ€™s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that itโ€™s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azziโ€™s neck.ย 
โ€œWeโ€™ll be okay,โ€ she whispers, unsure if itโ€™s more for her benefit or Azziโ€™s.ย 
The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other canโ€™t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azziโ€™s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunetteโ€™s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up.ย 
โ€œAz-โ€
Paigeโ€™s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. Itโ€™s desperate and needy and itโ€™s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paigeโ€™s entire world off balance.ย 
โ€œI just-โ€ Azziโ€™s breathing is rapid and uneven, โ€œIโ€™ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,โ€ she blinks up at Paige, โ€œI hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you donโ€™t call me back this time Bueckers- just- donโ€™t be a stranger.โ€
Paige doesnโ€™t get time to answer, she doesnโ€™t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azziโ€™s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azziโ€™s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, sheโ€™s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.
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golbrocklovely ยท 7 months
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cultish love // colby brock
A/N: first off, so sorry for this being so late, i had a lot of things i had to edit about this fic. also this is my longest fic ever ! like the other fic before this, this is a AU version of colbyโ€ฆ where he, you guessed it, is a cult leader. and he is also corrupt (but like aren't all cult leaders). again this deals with some possible heavy themes, so give a good read of the trigger warnings before reading ahead. i've always joked about colby being able to lead a cult, and that's basically where this idea came from. this fic also took a turn i wasn't expecting, but i like it anyway. also the first half is written as a journal entry (all italized) and then the rest is an actual fic (not italized). lmk what you think, and happy haunting !
prompt: you're a journalist, and your next big story is on the 'empathic love' cult, led by none other than colby brock. this cult is not known well, but you are getting a first hand look at them and what they do. and quickly, colby takes a liking to you. || fem!reader x AU!cult leader!colby brock
trigger warning: SMUT, no actual sex but you do get mentally fucked (it will make sense in the story), cult vibes all around, love bombing, cursing, supernatural powers, colby is very intense and kinda scary but also still his charming self, slight dubcon similar in vain to sam's story - you never say no outright, but you do have general feelings of 'wtf is this, idk if i like' so if that's too much for you, feel free to read something else :), colby's aura is crazy good at giving you visions, strangers-to-soulmates?? don't know if that's a tag lol, alsoโ€ฆ. colby's technically bisexual in this????? but like barely
word count: 8610
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I've been a reporter for only five years, and this story.... it could make or break my career. Cults aren't as prevalent as they once were way back when. They still exist, just in the shadows. A lot quieter on most fronts. Usually disguised as a business or religion, for tax reasons of course. But this cult, Empathic Love, is unlike any cult I've heard of.
Of course, they don't call themselves a cult, but that's what they are. How else would you describe a bunch of randos following one man around wherever he goes?
They only started so many years ago, right before I graduated university. The main founder, Colby Brock, is a pragmatic individual, according to his followers. The cult began blowing up in my town a little over two years ago, and now people flock from all over the world to visit the Love Compound. You would think it's Disney World the way people grow excited about it.
But I am here to get to the truth of this cult. What is their motive? What are they planning to do? Will this be another Waco or Heaven's Gate? What sinister beliefs hide underneath the modern-day hippie aesthetic they show?
These notes will document everything I experience for the next couple of days. And in case I go missing, these are my proof of who's to blame.
I don't think it will go that far, but you can never be too sure.
~~~~
Day 1 - Investigation
I'm still incredibly surprised I was allowed to come onto the Love Compound. The leader himself apparently reached out to my boss and told them that they wanted someone to come down and interview the group. They allow visitors from time to time, "new recruits" as some of the townspeople call them, but reporters have never been allowed in. Not once. Until me.
Driving up to the compound was nerve-wracking. I never imagined I would be nervous; I've interviewed plenty of criminals in my years, have done full blown investigations into scary, horrifying crimes. But something about this place freaked me out. Partially because I didn't know what I was getting into. But another part of me, and I will never admit this out loud, felt... at home.
The only promise I made to myself was I wouldnโ€™t drink any kool-aid while there. So, I plan to stick to that. Pretend my previous statement never existed.
I was greeted by a beautiful woman when I got there: Avery. No one went by last names. And some apparently changed their names altogether, which was not surprising. My guess is there were most likely criminals hanging out amongst the group. But I had no proof of that, just a hunch. It easily could be a safe haven for those wanting to escape whatever life they had before.
The compound was three Victorian style mansions connected to each other and had a decent size farm attached - about 222 acres. Avery told me about all of the vegetables and chickens they farmed. Everything was organic and used up as often as possible. Anything that couldn't be eaten or produced too much for the only 100ish people in the compound, was sold at the farmer's market or given away to the local food bank. Avery explained to me very clearly that everyone in the compound chipped in one way or another. Some still worked normal jobs, but just lived here with everyone. But she noted that Colby hoped in the near future no one would have to work at all and they would be self-sufficient in a couple years.
A cult with future plans? Almost unheard of.
I told Avery that I was given an all-access pass to ask anything I wanted to, and nothing I asked could be ignored or deflected. She agreed to an interview. I recorded all of it, but here are the highlights of what I gathered.
I asked her why Colby was such a secretive man. There were very few photos of him that did exist out there, but all that was rumored about him was his alluring eyes and generally attractive presence. She agreed that he was handsome, describing his as having "ocean blue eyes" and his voice was to die for. "Deep and arousing", as she explained.
I noted that she seemed almost lost in thought at the idea of him, like she was envisioning him directly in front of her. Strange behavior; but not for a cult follower. Many end up falling in love with their leader, believing they have a genuine relationship with said person.
I bought up the name of the group, Empathic Love, and said it felt a little too inviting. She laughed and told me that it was right on the money - the best way to describe why everyone was there. She expressed to me that so many of Colby's followers wanted peace and love and light, and that being in this group felt like that. It was rewarding to be surrounded by those that cared and wanted to see each other succeed. Life outside the walls of the compound was rough, scary, draining; but inside, it was all love.
Call me cynical, but I don't believe that for a second. It took all the strength I had to keep from rolling my eyes at her. But I could tell from her voice, her motions... she was telling the truth. Well, her truth.
I wanted to know what brought her here, so she spoke of her previous life. She was abused growing up, moved around a lot in foster care. She was almost homeless, and then one day she ran into Colby. He had just begun the Empathic Love group, and she just knew she had to stick with him. Her life immediately turned around the moment he was in her life. The adoration in her eyes told me a different story, so I pressed her - "are you and Colby... together?" She smiled and said no, but she knew that they were life partners before, just not currently.
Oh... so it's one of those types of cults.
She said that Colby doesn't have a second in command, wife, girlfriend, whatever. Everyone is equal and heard. He's just the face of the group, which is a bit ironic given even I have no clue what he looks like. I knew he was young, in his mid-20s. But other than that, no idea.
I needed to know, why stay? What keeps you here? A dreamy look came over her, like she had said this a million times before: "Colby. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."
Chills ran up my spine at the tone of her voice. It was dull, and her words sounded like a mantra, the way she said them so easily.
I wrapped up my interview with her, quiring if I was allowed to interview others. She said yes and began sending over random people one-by-one to me.
If I hadn't gotten chills from her first, I would have from everyone else. Something about seeing everyone saying similar things, smiling happily, like the ship isn't sinking around them was eerie. It made my stomach churn when I would ask questions I already asked Avery, and get almost the same speech back.
I interviewed about 15 people. All variety of ages and genders. I suddenly realized that there were no children around, and everyone was over the age of 21.
Consenting adultsโ€ฆ minus the supposed brainwashing.
A couple of the interviewees stuck out to me:
Penelope, 25. Her upbringing was similar to Avery's, but she still kept in contact with her family. Apparently, she wasn't the only one like that either. Many still kept in touch and even visited their loved ones. I asked her to describe Colby, tell me anything about him. She giggled, almost like a schoolgirl, and began to weave such a story about him. He was kind and caring. His smile was contagious, just like his laugh. And his singing voice was fantastic. She talked about him like he was a boy band member, and she was his biggest fan. I asked her to give one word to describe him, and she said "Love. He is love, and that's all anyone could ask for."
Greg, 36. He had fallen into rough times, and desired a fresh start. He had heard about this group online, and figured checking them out while he was in town wouldn't hurt. And that was a couple years ago. I wondered why he didn't feel weird listening to someone that was younger than him, and he shrugged. It was nice not having eyes on him. He loved being in a wallflower, and he believed that Colby deserved all the love he got from everyone in the group. Every ounce he got was ten-folded back into the group. Greg had never felt so connected to a group of people and he knew it was all thanks to Colby. "He brought love into my life like I never have had it before. Because that's who he is: love."
Heather, 29. She mentioned how for most of her life she felt like shit. Her confidence was at an all-time low when she met Colby. He encouraged her to keep at it, to love herself and find happiness everywhere. And by spending more and more time with him, she did. She has never felt more confident about herself, her life, her direction, and Colby is the reason for that. The tone that took over her voice when she bought him up was odd. It was very similar to a partner describing the love of their life, almost like wedding vows. I asked her haphazardly about her love life, how that was going for her. And she told me she had been on many dates - something she never used to do back when she was younger or before Colby. But she did note that regardless of who she ends up with, she knows that a part of her heart will always belong to Colby. They were connected, forever. "Love and light and happiness is what I desired, and I got it - all because Colby exists in my life now."
It felt like I was getting nowhere with some of these interviews. Many said the same thing, Colby being love and light and blah blah blah. I wanted someone that wasn't gonna just quote to me whatever mantra he made them learn. And luck was on my side, because I was able to interview their newest member, Ash. They were 23, and very beautiful. There was an almost smugness about them, like they knew they were the shiny new toy on the block. The confidence only a young 20-something year old could have.
I asked them, point blank, about Colby. Be brutally honest. They told me he was hot, and that's what drew them to him. They liked the idea of living in a group setting, especially since they grew up with many brothers and sisters. They liked helping out, and they liked knowing that Colby was keeping an eye on them the most recently. I then followed up with how long it took for them to join the group. "Three days. That's how long it takes for everyone."
I questioned them about the "Colby is love" thing, and they agreed it was a bit strange, but they couldn't help but feel the same way as everyone else. They were like a moth to a flame when it came to him. Everything about him was hypnotizing, entrancing. It was like staring at the sun; even though you knew to look away, you just couldn't help it.
Then I had to know: were they sleeping with him? Most of these cults feed off of the leader fucking every person they wanted to and leaving other members high and dry. But for some reason, it felt as if Colby was sleeping with everyone with the way they all talked about him. Ash dissented, saying no one was sleeping with him. He didn't sleep with any of his followers. But they all shared a deep, sensual mental connection with him. They felt like, sometimes, he was in their soul. And that sensation alone was euphoric, bordering on orgasmic. They also knew that in another life, they would have been together, similar to what Avery said.
It was then I knew that this group was clinically insane, or just really infatuated by what Colby was selling. It had to have been some crazy brainwashing. But it was odd; people were allowed to leave, to see loved ones, to have lives outside of the compound walls. Hell, some had dating lives that included those not here! That's unheard of, and completely stupid on Colby's part if he wants to keep things going.
A cult leader that wanted to watch his world implode.... I had to meet him. I had to meet the myth that was Colby Brock. And tomorrow I get my chance to.
~~~~
Day 2 - Interview with Colby
I feel the need to explain that these are my notes, not really meant for anyone else to see. And really, the only reason anyone would be seeing this is if I disappear or got murdered.
So, I say all of that just so I know, for myself, that this is a safe space for me to express my truest emotions and thoughts after interviewing Colby.
And all I can say, honestly, is that... I get it. I understand it now.
I felt my nerves hit their break last night before going to sleep, unable to stop my mind reeling from what was to come. I ended up bringing along a bodyguard, or really a photographer. I had known Trey since I started working as a journalist, and I knew I could rely on him to get us out of the Empathic Love compound if anything went south. I wasn't sure what I was up against when I went to interview Colby, but God... I didn't think I was so underprepared.
I met him in his office, Avery walked me over to it. It was up in the attic of the third house. It overlooked the entire property with wide windows. For an attic, I expected it to feel dark and dusty, but surprisingly it was light and airy. Almost like being out in the woods and taking a deep breath.
Colby was sitting in his main office chair. He spun around to see us, a light smile on his face. I'll be honest - I was taken aback by his beauty. I understood Ash's whole spiel about him being attractive and looking at him was like looking at the sun. It was intense. He was intense. His blue eyes bore into me, almost like they could see through me. I felt chills, but they weren't of fear. It was out of... excitement, of awe.
He greeted me, giving me a warm handshake. I hate to admit that I almost blushed at the sound of him saying my name. I had to take a couple deep breaths before starting. Avery left the room, and Trey sat outside the door, in case of backup.
I recorded our interview, knowing that I couldn't keep track of everything he said. But listening back to it now, his voice.... it's like a song. A beautiful, spellbinding song. I could almost fall asleep to it....
I asked him about his life, and how he came to be a leader for a group like Empathic Love. He spoke of his upbringing lightly, barely scraping the surface. He talked about growing up pretty normally, having a loving family, a great friend group, and then one day realizing that he could make a change in the world. That many people loved him and loved being around him. And that's when he knew that if he could make their lives better, he would. So, he started Empathic Love. Originally, it was just gonna be a safehouse for those that needed it. But then more and more people joined and suddenly, it grew into what it was today.
I asked where his family was now. "In Kansas," he told me. He said nothing further than that.
He humbly spoke of all the love he received from his followers, or his "friends" as he put it. They all cared about him in a way that he only wished he could return tenfold. I questioned him about the whole "Colby is love" thing. "How come everyone says almost the exact same thing, like they've been brainwashed into saying it?" He didn't even trip over his words as he spoke matter-of-factly to me. "I didn't come up with that phrase, they did. You would have to ask them. I take it as the highest form of a compliment, truly. I'll be honest, it's a bit embarrassing at times when they call me that, but I can't help what they do. I appreciate their love, nonetheless."
I continued asking him about different topics, until finally reaching the one I was most intrigued about. "How many of your followers - excuse me - friends, have you slept with?" He smirked, smirked, at me and said "None. Did any of them tell you that we slept together?"
"No, but the way they talk about you like the sun shines out of your ass does seem a bit odd, don't you think?"
He looked unphased. God, he had an answer for everything. "I'll be honest with you, some of my friends might be in love with me. But I make it abundantly clear that while I love them, and love their love, I don't have feelings for them. I'm still looking for the one."
I remember holding back a glare, "So, you're celibate?"
"Now, I never said that." He let out a chuckle, then his eyes darkened. "Why do you care so much about my sex life? Unless of course, you want to join it."
I tried ignoring his gaze and his words but stuttered through my next question. โ€œThen who exactly is the right one for you, if it's not one of your followers or friends?โ€
It took him a while to answer, he even closed his eyes for a bit. He sat up once he knew, sauntering over to his window that overlooked it all. "I imagine the one for me is someone that will bring peace to me and my life. Someone that for all my faults, can see who I am truly deep down. She will love me, and I will worship her. I will show her what true love feels like. Our souls will be one, because they always have been."
Something strange came over me. I don't know why I said it, but I uttered, "What about looks?"
Who cares about looks! Why did I ask about looks? I was a serious journalist, not a reporter for Star Magazine!
He looked over his shoulder at me, "Looks aren't that important to me. What matters is mind and soul. Who you are deep down. But if I had to pickโ€ฆ someone like you. I feel someone like you would be a perfect fit around here."
I wanted to give him the sassiest voice and rebuttal I could muster, but deep down I was shaking. Energy raced through my body, like I had been electrified.
He kept his back to me, staring out the window. โ€œI'm not trying to be overly complimentary. I'm just being honest. But I can tell that you would do so well to have us around. To have... me, in your life. I bring a lot of love to people's lives, that's for sure. But I also bring a lot of drive, and passion, and intimacy.โ€
Intimacy?
โ€œPeople open up when I'm around. They tell me everything, even things they never dreamt of telling another person. And I allow it, because clearly, they needed to express it. And once they do, it's like the floodgates open. Love and light just start pouring into them, into their life, and it's overwhelming - but so worth it. Doesn't that sound nice?โ€
I guess so...
โ€œI bring happiness to so many. My friends have told me that they get jittery around me, I'm like a shot of adrenaline. And that energy, that power, courses through them. And when it gets expressed, it comes out inโ€ฆโ€ He took a long pause, turning back to me. The look in his eyesโ€ฆ I can remember it as if he was still in front of me. โ€œPleasurable ways.โ€
I hate admitting this, and it's embarrassing to say it even now, but I felt a jolt of... something, run through me. I won't even say what it was out loud, in fear of never being taken seriously again. But what happened after that, I don't know if words can even express it well.
Colby continued talking, but I couldn't pick up on any of it. He was talking up a storm, but I couldn't help the sensations I was feeling. Even in my wildest of fantasies, I've never felt anything in reality. It was all in my mind. But in that very moment, it felt like it was happening to me.
I felt lips tread up my neck, stopping just below my ear. A hot, low moan breathed into my ear. My spine tingled at the sound, my hands gripping the armrests of the chair. If I didn't know any better, I would think Colby was behind me, making those noises. My hands suddenly felt hands on top of them. My eyes widened, looking down, but nothing was there. I couldn't really move my arms once the invisible hands were there. My whole body felt numb and heavy, relaxed. My mind was the one on edge, worried as to why I was feeling all of this.
I hadn't eaten or drank anything at the compound. Maybe it was being poured into the room by the vents? I don't know, but something was making me feel this way.
The invisible hands drifted up my arms, massaging my shoulders for a moment. My head lulled back, almost hitting the back of the chair. My mind was on high alert, but my body was about ready to fall asleep. The hands relaxed me so much that my eyes began to flutter.
But then... they drifted down my torso. They traced along my neck gently, drawing small, insignificant patterns. The hands grew lower and lower until they finally were on my chest. I felt the hands cup my breasts softly, my breath hitching in my throat. They kneaded my tits gingerly, my nipples hardening in my bra. I bit my lip, praying that I wouldn't make a sound. It was hard not to, especially when the delicate fingers of these invisible hands found my nipples, gently pinching them.
I remember closing my eyes tight. Trying to clear my mind. This wasn't actually happening to me. There was no way. This was a psychosis or a drug hallucination that was happening to me and Colby was doing nothing about it.
One hand drifted down my body, stopping right above my sex. I suddenly became very aware at how wet I was, my eyes widening. I felt a rush of blood flow through my cheeks. I was about to get caught. These invisible hands made me wet, and I couldn't stop them.
And the terrible thing was, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to finish the job. To get me off... in front of Colby. One hand rose back up my body, grabbing my neck and turning my face to look up at him.
A deep voice whispered harshly, "You want him, don't you?"
I didn't say anything, afraid of what would come out. But deep down, I knew.
"Say it, and it's yours. Say you want him. And he'll have you... forever."
I opened my mouth. I felt the words almost leave my lips. I stuttered out something. I closed my eyes, my body feeling high.
And then in a split second, it was all gone. The room grew quiet, and Colby cleared his throat. "Y/N, are you okay? You look flush."
I jolted out of my seat, being able to move freely again. I looked around and realized Colby was sitting once more, staring at me concerned. I finished the interview abruptly, saying I had everything I needed - even though I definitely didn't. And then he uttered words I wish I didn't hear.
"If you want, come back tomorrow. We are having a celebration here. I would love if you came by, even if for an hour."
I nodded, not even really taking in what he said, and left. Trey was confused as to why I bum-rushed out of the room, but I never told him the truth. How could I?
I knew deep down I shouldn't have said yes to go to the party. But getting that footage would be killer for my article. Interviews are great, but a party at a cult compound? That's bound to end terribly (for Colby, but great for me).
But something in me can't shake this feeling that I basically signed myself up for the end. End of what? I'm not sure. But I'll find out tomorrow.
~~~~~~
Stepping back onto the compound made my heart race. I was nervous as all hell, and just wanted this day to be over with already. Today was my last day doing this story. I was counting the minutes to when I could go back to my office and write about how this place was insane, or whatever narrative I planned to write.
I had enough proof that something was up here. All I needed to do was a bit more digging. And during the party is when I planned to do it.
Avery walked up to me, smiling brightly. "Hey, Y/N! How are you doing today?"
"I'm okay. I know it's a bit early, but Colby never specified when the party was going to take place." I replied.
"No, you're totally fine. The party is gonna happen later. Right now, though, we have something going on that you'll definitely want to see." She clapped excitedly.
"Oh? And what is that?" I questioned.
"We are inducting a new member!" she exclaimed giddily. "There's a whole process that we do, and everyone is involved. I imagine that will bode well for your article if you see it firsthand. It's all taking place in that tent."
I stared over at the huge tent, its plastic cover doors strangely inviting.
I hummed, "Sure, I'll be there in a moment."
Avery nodded, turning on her heels and prancing over to the tent, following in other members.
"What's happening in there?" Trey asked.
"Apparently they are inducting someone new into their cult." I informed him.
He blinked. "Group, you mean."
I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, whatever. Make sure to capture as much as you can."
He shook his camera, giving me a wink, "On it."
We both walked in, many members still up and around, giving everyone hugs and chatting. Avery waved me down, patting the seat next to her. I walked over and sat. My body tingled in anticipation. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. My breathing picked up as everyone grew silent, the doors opening. Colby walked in, and people rushed to their seats.
Colby called out, "Hello everyone, good morning."
"Good morning, Colby." Everyone said in unison.
Jesus, that was creepy.
"A lot of things are going to be different today. First, we have guests watching our festivities. Y/N and Trey. Everyone, give them a hand." He gestured to the two of us.
The tent exploded in applause, Avery evening rubbing my back sweetly. It felt like I was being congratulated on something I didn't achieve, my cheeks flushing at the acknowledgement.
"And secondly, sadly, the new member we were going to have decided not to stay." He frowned, his face dropping.
Members gasped, some audible "oh no" echoed around the tent. Colby nodded his head sympathetically. โ€œI know, but fret not. I think this will be a learning experiment for our new guests. We can still do our traditional motions of having someone join us. But, imagine it as if it's a mock ceremony instead. Ms. Y/N, would you please step up here?โ€
My heart stopped when he looked into my eyes, the first time since yesterday. I glanced at Avery, who grinned enthusiastically. She pushed me out of my seat, my body following her lead. I gazed around, finding Trey, who pulled away from his camera with a concerned look. I stumbled up the walkway, stepping on stage with Colby.
Colby lowered his voice so I could only hear him, moving away from the microphone. "I know you wanted to know about how we induct someone into our little home, so I figured why not use you as an example? We aren't actually inducting you, in case youโ€™re worried. This is just what would happen if you were joining. Are you okay with that?"
I gazed around the huge, white tent, making eye contact with many people in the audience. They all looked so eager, waiting to hear my response. Some were even shaking with excitement.
I stuttered, feeling Colby squeeze my hands to bring my attention back to him, "I-I guess so."
"Fantastic." He turned, still holding one of my hands, "Alright everyone, you know the drill."
The crowd cheered, suddenly many lining up to a microphone at the side of the stage. Colby lightly pulled me to a cushioned throne, sitting me down. "So here's what's going to happen. People are going to come up to that microphone, and they are going to give you plenty of love. Genuine love. And then the next person will go, and so on until everyone has spoken."
"Everyone here? Like, all hundred plus of you?" I whispered.
"Yes. It's gonna be a while, so get cozy." He laughed, rubbing my shoulders.
Time felt frozen as slowly everyone came up and said something nice about me. Some were quick, mostly just commenting on how nicely I dressed or how the stories I had covered in the past were interesting and thoughtful. But others, it's like they could see into my soul and point out the exact thing I was insecure about. Everyone was complimentary and it was nice, but exhausting.
The line had dwindled down, and the next person to speak was Avery.
She stepped up the microphone, giving me a huge smile. "Hi, Y/N. I know we don't know each other that well, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. These couple days of getting to know you, being interviewed by you, have just been the highlight of my life. You are such a lovely presence to be around, and you deserve all the success you've gotten these last couple years."
Lots of people in the crowd nodded, agreeing with Avery. She continued, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to add - you are so deserving of love. You are easy to love too, and I hope that you are surrounded by people that make you feel that way. I know that this is just a mock ceremony, but I truly believe you would be such a great addition to us. I know you don't trust us, but I hope that soon you will find that you have a safe place here. Even if you never come back here again. This is your home now, and forever will be."
My chest heaved suddenly, tears welling up in my eyes. What the fuck is happening right now? Why was I crying at what she said? Sure, it was sweet and kind, but... how did she know I needed to hear that?
I turned my head, wiping the tears before anyone could see them fall. The crowd clapped as Avery left, going back to her seat.
The last couple people were a blur, my mind still hanging onto Avery's words. Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I gazed up, seeing Colby's beautiful face staring down at me.
"The ceremony is done. Now, time to party."
~~~~~~
It had been a couple hours since the ceremony, my body feeling almost numb but jittery all at the same time. It was hard to shake all the love and words that were thrown my way today. Sure, some were probably just lying and saying random things because they had to, because they were conditioned to. But it freaked me out how some just... hit the right spots, knew my insecurities.
The party itself was fine. Two of the houses had parties happening in them, and since all three houses were connected, you could leave one and walk into another. There was a dancefloor full of people, and multiple fully stocked bars. Tons of food was at each table. It honestly looked like an adult prom. But I wasn't in a partying mood. Trey, on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. Girls and guys surrounded him, laughing at his jokes and bringing him plates of food and wine. One girl kept rubbing his thigh, staring at him longingly.
I wanted to leave. I had had enough of today, and I just wanted to be as far away from Empathic Love as I could be. I decided fresh air was what I needed, so I got up and slid out the back door of one of the houses, taking a deep breath. There were still too many people around, but I noticed the last house, the one with Colby's office in it, had no lights on and no one around it. I walked through the yards, stopping once I was by the back porch of the third house.
I sighed, leaning back against a railing. I could still hear the party going on, almost getting louder now that I wasn't there. I shook my head, feeling overwhelmed.
โ€œHey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Colby's voice broke through my thoughts.
I exhaled. โ€œHi, Colby.โ€
He cocked his head, โ€œAre you doing okay? You seem... upset.โ€
I felt this sudden rush of anger, knowing in reality he was to blame for all of this. โ€œNo, I'm not doing alright. I want to go home, I'm extremely overwhelmed by this party and all the people around here. That ceremony was too much for me to deal with, and the only way for me to get out of here is Trey and he's getting rubbed down by your followers!โ€
He took a step back, putting his hands up defensively. โ€œWoah, that was a lot. You must have needed that release.โ€
I glared, โ€œYou think?โ€
โ€œLook, I get it. It's a lot to take in. I myself don't love going to all these parties. It can be really overwhelming and if I'm honest, it gives me a lot of anxiety,โ€ he admitted casually.
โ€œYou get anxiety?โ€ I scoffed, โ€œHow? Everyone here loves you.โ€
โ€œI know. That's the stressful part!โ€ He sat on the railing, turning to me. โ€œI'm the leader of this family. I have to make all the right decisions, and sometimes that means upsetting some of the people closest to me. Not to mention, so many eyes are on me, and it's just all too much sometimes. Even if you think this group is a cult, I still care for everyone here. I make sure they are fed, have a job, and have a life outside of here. And that's a lot to take on.โ€
โ€œHow do you deal with all of it, then?โ€ I questioned.
โ€œPatience. And a lot of alone time when I can get it - through meditation, specifically,โ€ he laughed. โ€œI was actually going to go meditate before I found you. Would you like to join me?โ€
I shook my head. โ€œNo, I'm good.โ€
โ€œAre you sure? Look, at the very least, it will get you away from the party and all the noise. You don't even have to join me, you can just... sit in the room with me while I do it.โ€ He argued, shrugging his shoulders.
I gazed at the party, everyone had grew rowdier while we were talking, and I didn't even notice. But my head felt like it was spinning from the noise alone. I sighed, nodding my head. Colby smiled, opening the door to the house, and I walked in first. I followed him up to his office, sitting down on his couch as he sat in the center of the room on the floor.
I raised an eyebrow. โ€œThat's where you meditate?โ€
โ€œYeah, I know it's a bit silly. But I feel so much more grounded... on the ground.โ€ He replied cheekily.
I snickered, sitting back and watching him. He crossed his legs, resting his palms on his knees. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took multiple breaths until they were low and shallow. I furrowed my brow, my eyes never leaving his form.
It almost seemed like he was asleep, or in a hypnosis of some sort. He was completely still and silent. A dull glow appeared at the top of his head, growing brighter and larger. I leaned away from him, my eyes widening at the sight. What the fuck is that...?
An aura grew around him, surrounding him completely. He didn't move, unfazed by it. His eyes remained closed, and with each breath it grew.
"How... are you doing that?" I uttered, my mouth a gape.
"Doing what?" He spoke in a monotone voice.
"That... aura. How are you doing that?" I pressed.
โ€œI've always been able to do it since I was young. You can get closer if you want to.โ€ He suggested.
How did he know I was still far away?
I stepped off the couch, moving closer to him. I kept my distance, but the aura was almost pulling me in. It was beautiful, the light reflecting and growing bigger. I was almost engulfed by it, but it stopped right before getting to me. I could feel its warmth, its energy. It was calling to me, beckoning me to step towards it.
The aura wrapped around me, filling me with light and love. Or at least that's what it felt like. I gasped at the sensation, my legs shaking underneath me. I breathed in deeply, my lungs filling up with fresh air. I didn't feel like I was in the room anymore. I felt like I was flying, the world almost zooming around me.
โ€œLet your body relax, Y/N. I know it's so much to take in.โ€ Colbyโ€™s calming voice spoke.
I felt my body give out on me, falling onto the soft rug. I laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Visions began to swirl in my mind and around me.
How is any of this happening?
He answered, reading my mind. โ€œBecause of me. Because of us. Because of the connection you and I share.โ€
My body felt very heavy, unable to move even if I wanted to. I could move my eyes, and out of the corner of them, I saw Colby stand up. The aura remained around us, almost engulfing the entire room.
โ€œYou know, I knew the moment you stepped foot on to the compound's grounds, you were going to like it here. You were going to stay.โ€ He smiled sincerely, gazing down at my body.
I blinked, confused. โ€œWhat? I-I don't plan to-โ€œ
He cut me off, โ€œThis is the final step, Y/N. Everyone gave you love, people celebrated you, and now... I'm allowing you in.โ€
I wanted to shake my head, but couldnโ€™t. โ€œBut I don't want to join.โ€
He chuckled, โ€œYes you do. If you didn't want it, none of this would have worked on you. You wouldn't be seeing what is directly in front of your eyes.โ€
The visions morphed around me, suddenly showing Colby and I. But we weren't us, we were different people, at a different point in time. But I could feel it was us. We were in love, growing a family together. Our lives were beautiful.
What the fuck is this?
โ€œThat is our past, or present, or future,โ€ he winked. โ€œThe thing is, Y/N, I never seek out anyone. They all seem to find me.โ€
โ€œThat's not true, you emailed my boss about being interviewed.โ€ I remarked.
"Oh, you are so forgetful, Y/N. You emailed us, begging to interview me and anyone else that said yes. I only agreed because I knew you wanted to meet with me. You sounded very eager to join in your email." Colby pulled out a piece of paper, reading from it happily, "Dear whoever reads this, I'm hoping to score an interview with your group, Empathic Love, for an article I am writing. I would love to meet Colby, and really pick apart his brain on why he created said group. Maybe I could even join if you guys win me over. Please let me know if any of this sounds of interest to you. Sincerely, Y/N of Global Gazette."
He leaned down, staring into my eyes mischievously, "Now does that sound like someone that didn't want to be here?"
My heart raced, suddenly scared. โ€œWhy don't I remember writing that?โ€
โ€œI couldn't tell you. All I know is you wanted to be here. And there's a reason for it.โ€ He sat down on the ground next to me. I wanted to get up and run, but my body stayed still, heavy. โ€œGrowing up, I realized very early on that certain people just... gravitated to me. A lot of women, yes. But really it was anyone. And not only did they gravitate towards me, they became obsessed with me. At first, I was confused, uninterested in ever going through that. Who wants someone obsessed with them? But then I realized how much good I could do with so many people rallying behind me.โ€
He continued, โ€œAs I got older, my ability, or power, or whatever it is - grew twice as strong. Suddenly, all the people around me followed me, did anything and everything I could ask for. Then, I began getting visions, and I understood why this was the case. Everyone here: we had a past life together. Their souls and mine have always been connected. They find me and then continue to stay. And almost always, they fall in love with me. It's just so glorious.โ€
โ€œYou're insane.โ€ I mumbled.
He hummed, โ€œInteresting, especially since youโ€™re seeing the same things I am.โ€
It was true. The whole time he spoke, I saw vision after vision of our past lives together. We were always destined to meet, destined to be with one another.
โ€œBut the thing is, I know you're different from all the rest. You and I, we are meant to be together forever. You are meant to love me forever, and I am meant to love you. That's why my abilities affect you so greatly.โ€ Colby divulged.
โ€œWhat if I say no? What if I want to leave?โ€ I grunted, trying to shake free.
โ€œYou've had the ability to go all this time. You just don't want to. You know how much love I can give you. You know how much pleasure I can give you as well.โ€ He bit his lip, his eyes snaking up and down my body, โ€œYou've known that since yesterday, haven't you?โ€
Blood rushed to my cheeks, memories of yesterday played in my head.
โ€œAnd do you know whatโ€™s crazy about that? That's not even half the pleasure I can give you.โ€ Colby kneeled next to me, a devilish smile on his lips. His hand lightly brushed my face, cupping my warm cheek sweetly.
A burst of arousal raced through me, my body spasming in ecstasy. โ€œOh my God!โ€
โ€œI know, it's a lot to take in. But I just want to make you feel good, darling. You deserve it.โ€ He leaned in slowly, โ€œYou are mine, after all.โ€
"This is what your followers meant by a deep and sensual mental connection," I groaned, feeling hands all over my body, touching me in the most lustful of ways. "You got inside their heads and mentally fucked them."
โ€œ...That's one way of wording it. But if they didn't trust me, if they didn't already want me, it wouldn't happen.โ€ He winced playfully, โ€œSo in reality, it's your fault.โ€
โ€œFuck you.โ€ I growled.
โ€œBut baby, that's what's happening,โ€ Colby laughed darkly. โ€œThose hands, those kisses and bites... that's all mine. I can tell you're losing it. You want me real bad, but you don't want to admit it. I get it, youโ€™re overwhelmed.โ€
I felt like my body was getting electrocuted with pleasure. My hips grinded into the air, needing some form of relief. My nipples strained against my bra, wanting any form of touch. I closed my eyes tightly, embarrassment rolling through me as I felt my damp panties against my sex.
Fuck, he was right. I did want this, and him.
I didn't even need to say it out loud. Suddenly I felt a cock slid inside of me, too easily from how wet I had become. I ripped my eyes open, looking around. Colby was watching me from his chair, smirking.
He palmed his hardening dick through his jeans. โ€œImagine how much better it would be if I was actually inside of you, filling you up with every. fucking. inch.โ€
I thought about screaming Treyโ€™s name. Maybe he could help me.
He grimaced, rolling his eyes. โ€œHe wonโ€™t do anything for you, sweetheart. He joined our group just a couple weeks ago. Right around the time you sent the email. So really, you have all the more reason to join us.โ€
โ€œEven if I join this cult, I will never stay here. I will leave here and never come back.โ€ I hissed.
โ€œAnd that is your choice to make. But Y/N,โ€ his gaze lowered at me, his eyes intense. โ€œYou will never be satisfied. You got barely a taste of what I can offer you, and you're gonna want it forever. Just like everyone else here.โ€
โ€œYou're a- fuuuuuucckk!โ€ I moaned, the cock inside of me hitting my spot deeper. I caught my breath, glaring at him. โ€œY-You're a freak.โ€
โ€œSays the girl almost coming to my invisible dick.โ€ He spat, clenching his jaw.
I bit my lip, annoyed at how right he was. The hands exploring my body gripped my ass, slapping it lustfully.
โ€œOkay, okay. I'll agree with you. I am a bit of a freak of nature. But let's not act like I'm some monster. I let people leave. But they always come back because they choose to. I can't force people that far. Pinky promise,โ€ He stuck his pinky out, and I rolled my eyes defiantly. He huffed, โ€œIt's not like this place is Scientology, for Christ's sake. We are love. I am love.โ€
โ€œYou are the most tainted form of love that I've ever met.โ€ I retorted, gripping the rug to hide my building arousal.
He deadpanned, โ€œOw. That hurt.โ€
Colby strutted over to me, laying down right beside me. The pleasure grew more intense, my hips bucking desperately. His one hand hovered over me, never touching me. It didn't matter, because having him this close felt like his whole body was on top of mine, fucking me hastily.
โ€œIf you allow yourself to enjoy this feeling, you might actually come. Because I won't force you to. I'll just keep you here, for hours, riving in pleasure until your brain melts into goo.โ€ He smirked, โ€œHow's that sound?โ€
"I-I hate you." I gritted my teeth. Why did I feel like I was lying?
"No you don't. But soon you'll be able to admit the truth." He leaned his mouth in close, his voice low and sincere, "I know that this place might not be what you imagined your home to be like, but it is. You will always have a place here. You will always be loved here. And I know that's what you want deep down. To be loved unconditionally. To have every fiber of your being satisfied. And if you let me, I will do that. I will please you every night, however you want me to. But for me to do that, you have to let me in. You have to let love in."
The cock inside of me pounded faster and faster. I could barely think anymore. The only thing on my mind... was him. The lives we had together, the life we could be having. I knew I shouldn't want it, but I did. I wanted him in my life, forever. He was what was missing, and I couldn't live one more day without him.
I mewled loudly, my hips thrusting up erotically. Colby's hand cupped my face gently, turning my head to look him in the eyes.
His alluring eyes stared deep into mine, his jaw clenched. "You will always be mine. I am love, and that is all you could ask for."
"You are love, and that's all I could ask for." I repeated mindlessly, grabbing onto his arm desperately.
His face softened, โ€œThat's right baby. You're such a good girl for me. My good girl, forever. You want that, don't you?โ€
โ€œYessss, please Colby. I want to be yours forever.โ€ I keened.
"You will be. I promise, you will always be mine." His eyes darkened, the pupils almost completely blown out. "You will never leave."
"I won't!" I trembled, my orgasm building closer and closer to the edge.
โ€œYou wanna come, Y/N? Get close for me. Don't I feel so good inside of you? You like when I do this?โ€ Colby's hand snaked down my body, rubbing my clit sensually.
I begged wantonly, dying to come. "Pleaseeeeee! Please let me come! I need it! I need you."
"Of course you do, baby. You and I need each other. Our connection is unlike anyone else's. Tell me the truth and I'll let you come." He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear, "Tell me, baby. Say it..."
"I love you," I cried out, right on the edge. I direly wanted him to say it back, knowing it was already the truth.
โ€œI love you too, baby,โ€ he smiled sweetly, kissing my cheek. โ€œNow, come for me.โ€
Hot, white pleasure shot through my body. I had the strongest orgasm of my life, my mind shattering as I rode every wave of pleasure that went through me. Colby stayed by my side, shushing me as my high lowered down more and more. He kept whispering 'I love you' repeatedly, my mind unable to hear or think anything else after a while.
I blacked out at some point but awoke when my body was lifted off the floor and placed softly into a bed. โ€œWha... happenin?โ€ I slurred.
โ€œRelax, darling. I just brought you to my bed. Well, our bed now,โ€ he chuckled. โ€œI want you to get your rest because tomorrow is a big day for you.โ€
โ€œWhat's tomorrow?โ€ I murmured.
โ€œYour introduction to everyone as my soulmate.โ€ Colby informed happily, tucking me in. โ€œEveryone will be so pleased that you changed your mind about joining us.โ€
I nodded my head, snuggling deep into his bed. He dimmed the lights, whispering softly, "Welcome home, Y/N."
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unicorn-gallerexy ยท 2 months
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Howdy, I totally mean to post more and didn't do any of that but then i got stuck with this idea and getting it out so here ya go, i want it out my face. There will be part 2, but i need a break bc this too so long and is longer than i wanted it. Only mildly proofread, rada rada, yknow the drill
Word count: 12.7K (i managed to hit the end of like 3 keep notes, i ain't ever done that)
CW: (technical) Homewrecker!Atsumu x Wife! Reader, smut, (kinda/justified) cheating, manipulation and mild threats (not from Atsumu), open marriage (you weren't vibing with it), trash treatment from husband, Long af, Atsumu being mad bc wtf is up with your husband?
One for Another
When your husband asked his question, excited just after coming home, you thought you couldn't hear. Or maybe it was that you didn't understand?
Either way, you asked him to repeat himself.
"I want to open our relationship. It sounds like a good idea, yeah?" He smiles, like there's nothing wrong with his sudden asking, and the look you give him is blank before it obviously reads upset.
"Why?" You steady your voice a lot easier than you steady your mind. You were hurt, this was so out of the blue. Yes, he had voiced a bit of an issue with your extra few pounds, or how you didn't dress up more often, or how you didn't have as much sex anymore (which was more his fault but he blamed you and the weight you put on) but you were working in it. You started working out in your own home because he was insistent that other people, like his coworkers, could see you let yourself go. You worked on being consistent with skincare and wearing more clothes that flattered you. You were actually looking quite a bit better than you had before. At least you and your friends thought so...
"Because it's a great idea?" He says it so easy as if you should be understanding. Seeing as you don't look pleased, his smile drops and he heaves a sigh so heavy at the thought of explaining himself. "Look you and i haven't... Been on the same page for a while. You and I just aren't matching up right now, so i figured it would be good to open the relationship so we can fill in those gaps."
"What gaps? I've been working on myself for damn near two months now, solely because you asked. What am i not doing for you?"
"Jesus Christ, this isn't about you. It's about us being happy, and im not happy. Im also not just trying to leave you high and dry but im sure you're not happy either." He says the part about you not being happy as if it doesn't matter to him. His emphasis was on him not being happy, and the part of not leaving you sounded more like a chore than a willful choice.
He swept you off your feet and promised a life a comfort. He was working on a promotion, he complimented you regularly and the sex wasn't bad at all. You fell for his charm easy, and he seemingly fell for you just as hard. After a few years, he asked you to marry him and made it known you could depend on him completely. Your job was basically down the drain by the time the wedding happened due to higher positions deciding the right way didn't make them enough money fast enough. He said you could trust him to take care of you, that he'd keep you happy and comfy, that he didn't mind a housewife for a while. You let yourself fall into that role, it wasn't hard. The house he bought was sizeable but not too big, the chore list was never too long and you did indeed live comfortably.
Over time, through his several promotions to an executive seat, you moved into bigger and better, all while he coaxed you into being his lovely little housewife and homemaker. Anytime you talked of going back, he'd mention how the job market wasn't the best, reports of customers abusing staff locally, rumors he "heard" here or there about owners and managers of places you were looking into, and always mentioning how you complained of every job you had. How you hated working, but how you were basically just taking care of yourself and he was taking care of you by working and giving you a card of his he didn't need to keep track of.
This was more temporary than you thought it was.
In the last two promotions, he had been given an assistant that always seemed a little too close for comfort. If you ever brought it up, he'd only mention how he married you and how she worked for him, so he couldn't be cheating on you. He blamed your insecurities and said you were forcing your own self doubt on him, and how that wasn't fair. At first the responses seemed loving, in their own way, before they turned angry. He'd shout about you being insecure, how you were trying to accuse him of things you had no proof of. He'd leave the house and even when he came back, he rarely ever apologized. He'd simply place more money onto the card and talk to you as he normally would. He pretended to care with a kiss on the forehead and half holding you in bed every so often.
That didn't stop him from pointing out your mounting flaws over time. It didn't stop him from refusing any sort of advances you made, day off or not. Didn't stop him not inviting you to company events as he had in the past and instead saying he was going with *her instead because "family isn't invited this time around" as if there weren't pictures posted later of his coworkers with their wives who you know don't work for the company at the same event.
You would've left a long time ago, really. But he wasn't wrong in saying you were insecure. Or that he'd leave you high and dry. He managed to manipulate you into not having a job for years, which doesn't look the greatest when applying for new ones, which created your dependency on him for financial reasons but he also had preyed on the parts of yourself you couldn't stand, made you feel like he and he alone loved you, like no one else would or could love you. You defended his words when your friends brought up concern by citing that he was right, as no one had really come up to you to flirt or asked you out prior to him so there wasn't really much competition for you. And, at the time, he at least liked you.
All for it to be thrown back in your face now. The waves of realization hit like you're in a losing boxing match. You feel your eyes burn but refuse to let any tears fall. He, unfortunate as it may be, can still read you at least a little. He comes and wraps his arms around you in a hug that makes you feel slimy, but you don't pull away as there's no where else to go really. "Listen baby, this isn't just a good thing for me. It's a good decision for both of us. I'm not giving you what you want, you aren't giving me what i want, don't you think it's better to find those things in other people and still have each other to come home to? At least give it a shot." He insists. It's obvious to you now, he doesn't care about you finding someone, only about him being allowed to do as he wants without being called a name that fits.
Part of you want to ask, but you figure you won't get answers if you do. You feel backed into a corner with no real way to lash out. So, you give a reluctant and strained yes, giving in to your defeat in hopes it hurts a little less. He kiss the back of your head and quickly slips away from you, grabbing his keys and saying something about being back later before slipping out of the door. You hear it lock, you hear the car start and drive off, and looking at the time on the clock in the stove behind you, it now reads 7:38pm. You could swear he turned his head to look at it when he was behind you.
The weekend comes in shortly after, he says he's going on a trip and you don't bother to ask where to or when he'll be back. You're already distant and its only been a few days, not that he cares at all. He packs and leaves in a hurry, only sending a text of "I love you" about an hour later. You've yet to tell anyone, feeling overwhelmed with shame and stupidity at not seeing any signs earlier on to avoid this. Or maybe because you feel ashamed that you couldn't keep your husband satisfied? That he was seduced by someone you'd consider younger and prettier than you'll ever be. You're not that old, nor are you bad looking but that's not how you see it. Your eyes only seem to find more and more inadequacies each time you look into a mirror. From the bags darkening under your eyes to your hair becoming more tangled with your lack of care, from the flaring breakouts across your face from stress and ditching your routine to the weight you worked off coming back with friends because you wallow on the couch and dropped your workout routine.
What was the point?
You had nothing else to work towards. Sure you barely looked different from before him, and if you got back into all of it, you'd look basically the same as you did then, maybe a bit better, but what would be the point? No one wanted you before he did, he literally had no competition for your affection or attention. The only thing that's changed that you can't undo is the passing of time. Sure, in the grand scheme of things you really weren't that much older than you were then but, if no one wanted you then, who would want you now?
You couldn't give an answer, and thus your brain concluded with: no one.
You eventually wind up inviting friends over about 2 weeks into his trip and, not having heard from you for longer, they jump at the chance to see you. When they arrive, and you answer the door, disheveled in sweats, they can see that you're not holding up well and the sweet smiles and loud hi's drop. Being asked what's wrong sets off the water works, not having cried in or out of his presence made the dam behind your eyes too full, and concerned friendly voices opened the gates. You step aside to let them in and they immediately hug you, telling you to calm down enough to at least tell them what's wrong but the sobs are violent, shaking your body completely and taking the strength from your legs. They guide you to the couch, sit at your sides and tell you to cry it out, seeing as every time you try and speak, it's unintelligible.
When you manage to calm yourself enough in your friends arms, you don't lift your gaze from the floor, explaining why you haven't answered calls or texts and why you just spent a literal hour crying into them. To say their furious is an understatement. They shout question after question, most at how he could do this and feel nothing. You cry into your hands, and that's when they calm down, starting to throw suggestions, the first being divorce. You remind them of how he basically holds all your financials, your place to live, and a solid position in his company. Your friends sigh as they realize that leaving, at least now, isn't a real option. After a moment of quiet thinking, and soft sniffles, your first best friend grabs you by both shoulders with a smile. "Open relationship, right? That means you can also do what you want. We can get you back on track with all your routines and go out, take you with us on singles night!" She's beaming even if you don't look the most into the idea, your other best friend seeming to voice your thoughts for you.
"As if he'll actually let her have another relationship outside of him with no repercussions. Be real, May. He'd flip his shit because he just wanted to go out and fuck anything that breathes without being called a cheater" May pouts, having already thought of that in a more minor capacity.
"I figured that, Kura. We don't have to tell him shit. He's not even being that discreet about it, with the 2 of us helping her out, he'll never know." She leans to speak over your shoulder to Kura before looking back at you with soft, loving, hopeful eyes that you feel you haven't experienced in a while. "Maybe we can actually find you a real man who'll treat you right and wont do this shit. You don't deserve to just wallow here by your self." Her hands cup your face as she awaits an answer and you shake your head in her hands.
"No one wanted me before, May. Who's gonna want me now? I'm older and-"
"Still hot, at least when you're not distressed." Kura says from behind you, smiling with some sort of support for the plan. You shake your head as May keeps hold of you.
"Okay but everything is here, workout equipment and-"
"We'll take you to the gym with us! Kura has been wanting to get in there for a while but she keeps bailing on me. I'll take you two with me and then we're all obligated to go. We'll go on spa days, I'll call you so you don't have to acknowledge him while you do your routine here. Trust me, thought out much more than you think." May beams, Kura chiming in about possibly just moving rooms so you have space if you haven't already. Both paw at you and basically beg, saying it'll at least be good just to get out for a little while every day even if you aren't man hunting. You tear up again, and when asked why, you say you thought they'd me mad at you, tell you i told you so or something because you didn't listen when they spoke up. You're given the warmest embrace you've had in a minute as they tell you it's not your fault, it's his. He preyed on you, just to throw you away for nothing substantial. You cry, and say ok, agreeing to go with them and along with their plan, causing them both so squeal with joy before May goes to bolt upstairs.
"Where are you going?" You sniffle, caught in Kura's arms as you look up the stairs.
"To run you a proper bath. We're having an at home spa night now. You need it." She scrunches her nose in the way that makes you laugh and knowing you still have some happiness makes them happy.
The night goes on as they wish, both helping wash your hair and your face, saying you need a break as they pamper you and do their best to drive away the sadness in your heart, or at least distract from it. They help you move things into another room, opting to watch terrible B and latter alphabet movies, doing your face routines together and eating proper food since you've seen gorging on junk food for a while now. They opt to stay over for a few days when you tell them your husband wont be home for another 3 weeks. Both girls help you clean up, do laundry, and essentially reset your home to brinf back a real sense of normalcy. May sits and picks out a couple gym appropriate outfits, laying them on top of the dresser, before they leave you a couple days before your husband is supposed to be back. They kiss your forehead, hug you tight and tell you the day of a group gym trip so you look forward to it. Kura notes she wont back out if you don't, putting a sense of responsibility on you to ensure you don't bail last minute.
When your husband comes back, he finds you lounging about in the other room, only to ask a question you truly dreaded hearing. "Hey, I can still have the bedroom to myself for a bit right?" Behind the doorway, at his side you can see another shadow in the sunlight that bathes the house and a feminine giggle from behind him. You simply wave him off, a half hearted mumble sending him on his way to the bedroom, girl in tow. You hear the door shut, lock clicking into place as you curl into yourself and text your friends. They send you texts to just forget about it as much as possible, you telling them it's hard when you can hear them through the walls and know he feels no sense of remorse.
That was what killed you most, the fact he was doing it all and seemed to feel nothing for you. No remorse, no guilt or shame, not even the tiniest bit of pity even if it would piss you off. You realized quick he didn't feel anything negative about it, but that didn't mean it didn't suck to have such a blatant display of what you could only feel was disrespect. Then again, you're surprised it didn't happen earlier.
Your affluent living situation meant a very nice, expensive gym wasn't too far away. May and Kura didn't live in the expensive part of the city but they had good jobs and kept up with the monthly payment plan that even you and your more frugal upbringing balked at when you got the sign up paper at the desk. Once paying the overcharged fee and getting your membership card, May lead you and Kura around to show you the facilities the gym had to offer and blabbed about the famous and influential people she's seen in passing from actors to local businessmen to athletes. Kura and you keep up as she taps your arm for your attention. "I'm kinda starting to regret coming with May." She whispered, no malice behind as you nod and hum in agreement.
You feel exposed even if your fully clothed. The sports bra and crop you normally wear to workout at home suddenly feeling to short to be worn outside (even if you've done so a million times) and the yoga shorts holding your ass nicely feeling all too tight to be worn in public. You can't help the shy stance you keep as May guides you past a the sauna, pool, and cryo rooms towards the side of the building, keeping one arm wrapped around yourself and the other down at your side. Kura is dressed in similar pants, but her top is a loose cotton shirt you wish you'd gone for instead. May, being the one used to being here, is in a good sports bra and yoga shorts due to the weather. Once her tour is over, she guides you into the large workout room, complete with just about any and every machine you'd need for every part of your body. You wanna vomit.
You know you left to get away from your currently shitty home life but now you actually kinda regret coming. May turns with a big smile that falls quick when she takes note of yours and Kura's faces. She keeps hopeful, taking you both by the hands over to the treadmills that face out of the window. "We can start here so that you two can get a bit more comfy, yea?" You both nod and hop on, the 3 of you starting at the same pace and making mild small talk.
After you and Kura seem to loosen up, noted by you finally dropping your arm from around yourself, May takes the opportunity to switch it up and get you guys through some stretches. From there, it's basically downhill. May is fit, not annoying about it and it shows. She puts you and Kura to your limits and genuinely encourages you the entire time in such a way that's hard to be mad at. You're at it for hours until the final stretch for your cool down when she beams "And we're done! That was fun, wasn't it?"
"I regret.. My decision." Kura pants.
"Fun isn't what id give it but i mean..." You trail off with a weak wave of your hand on the floor next to Kura as May hops up to drag you both down the hall and to the sauna. When you both express dismay over the sound of sitting in a hot, moist room on a hot day after being worked to near death, May assures you that you'll just both feel so much better after and if you're so inclined, she'll take you to the actual pool for a bit after. You and Kura grimace at the thought of being more openly exposed than you already are at one another as you follow May and say you'll both pass on that part today.
Out of clothes, wrapped in towels, May hands off your clothing to one do the workers before noting to you as they leave that they're gonna wash them. You and Kura share a surprised look at her as she pushes you both into the (thankfully) empty sauna. She does everything to set it up and soon enough the room is hot and steamy, her eyes fixing to continuously check on you two as you close your eyes and drop your head to relax in the warm, wet heat. "So how long can we be expected to be alone in here?" Kura asks, scooting to put just a bit more distance between you two which you're thankful for.
"With how long we've worked out, not too much longer. But we don't have to leave or anything like that. We can basically stay in here for as long as we want, though it is recommended to leave at some point to prevent overheating." She sighs.
"With how much we have to pay for a monthly membership, we better be able to stay in here for as long as we want." You complain, Kura letting out a small laugh as she lays her head against the wall. She and May look at you, your head still down and eyes still closed.
"Black card for your thoughts, lovely?" Kura mutters, you shake your head before answering.
"Just thinking about home, unfortunately. Thinkin about how i let it get here honestly." Kura pushes your arm and you look at your friends, both sets of eyes stern but full of care as they note him and whatever he's doing isn't worth any more of tour head space. Kura throwing the idea to take him for what he's useful for and buy everyone lunch after, naming off pricy places your younger self could only dream of going. You laugh at her, especially as may joins in with the new ultra luxury bakery that just opened up and is known to be pure Instagram fodder and not actually good baked goods. Just as you near snort with laughter at their suggestions, about to cut in with something cheaper and actually good, the door opens and causes you three to scoot a bit closer to one another in a corner and 4 actually fairly familiar faces trail in, shortly followed by a duo that you can tell aren't with the prior 4. Your husband's work and you being his previous arm candy piece at work events let you passionately shake hands with plenty of elites, faces recognizable to you easy. The 4 who are making conversation amongst themselves are athletes, specifically the (debatably) most popular members of the team. Koutarou Bokuto, Shoyo Hinata, Kiyoomi Sakusa, and Atsumu Miya.
The other 2 are businessmen that you've seen at damn near every single even you went to with your husband, higher ups from a company his worked with. They were always hitting you in the worst way so your nose unconsciously crinkles before you turn to Kura and May. You aren't too surprised, May did say plenty of the wealthy who live close by here and even some who don't come to this gym just because of how nice and/or exclusive it is. You hope somewhere inside yourself that the duo doesn't notice you at all, as that would help the first day back to a workout routine all the better.
Of course, you cant ever have what you want. The universe curses you by making one of the idiot duo loudly recognize your left shoulder tattoo of a chubby kitten playing with stars from various franchises, like animal crossing fragments and Rosalina's stars from Mario games. "Oh shit! I remember that dumb little tattoo! Y/n, how have you been babe?" He says. You roll your eyes hard enough to hurt as you feel every pair of eyes in this small room land on you. You force a smile and turn your head, giving a strained hi and fine. He and his friend start to bombard you with questions at your minor acknowledgement. Your husband, what he's been up to and things like that. You answer most, half with lies as Kura leans over your back and tells them to call him if they've got "such a hard on for him" instead of harassing you.
Kura has taken on most of your lost bite while you work to get it back, and you find yourself plenty thankful for it. You don't miss the small snorts of laughter from the other side of sauna and neither do the duo on the other side of you. Not liking to feel any sort of embarrassment, and somehow deciding that the wife of their business colleague is their prime target, the second one opens his mouth with venom. "You know Y/n, i have friends who work with your husband. We haven't seen you at any of the company get togethers anymore, yknow? But we have seen him with this real pretty dame on his arm. You make him get a replacement so you don't have to be there or what?" They way you stiffen is visible and your brain short circuts on what to do next for a half second. Both have this smug smile on their face as everyone looks wide eyed at the two, and they look at you.
You stand, eyes lifting from the ground where you had planted them during talking to them initially. "The fact you two are so mad because you cant even get escorts to sleep with you, much less me when im married so you go around saying shit like that is honestly pathetic." Your hand slaps the one who opened his mouth before you can rethink it, turning on your heels to leave at you hear not just your friends but the other men in the room giving them quite the reprimanding as you float your way to where you can pick up your freshly washed clothes. You must've been in there for longer than you thought, as they're set out with your membership card on top to show ownership. You're quick to change as you hear voices outside looking for you. You step out and toss the towel into the bin they have out for them and your friends rush to your side and try to comfort you but you simply tell them to get dressed so you can go and eat.
They're dressed in a flash and following you out the front door, you never noticing the sets of eyes that manage to trail your form as you storm out with your friends hot on your ass, wiping your eyes. Once in the car, there's a beat of silence as they seem to try and find what would be the rihht thing to say after that. What do they say? Your tears don't wait, a uncontrolled sob escaping you before your hand covers your mouth to hold back the rest of the noise as you cry. He's so brazen about it, of course other people notice but the last thing you wanted was to be confronted with it anywhere else. You're hugged from two directions, hands rubbing your back and arms to soothe you as May says she wont blame you for bailing after that. You shake your head, taking deep breaths to calm yourself and taking the tissue Kura passes you from her bag to wipe your eyes and blow your nose before you close your eyes. Clearing your throat, you croak. "I'm still going to do it... I'm not gonna let this stop me... Even if it sucks..." Kura pats you on the back, saying she'll still be with you and May clapping at you not letting it throw you down without a fight.
You get to pick lunch. A nice sit down hot pot spot that's having a slow day, so they wave the typical time limit they have and sit you three in a cozy booth. You loose track of time, your friends being efficient in distracting your mind from the day's sour turn, laughing and eating to replenish some energy. You three can see the door, and have made a game of betting (without money of course) on if the groups and couples who come in have ever actually been to a hot pot place or if they came in because they think it's "exotic". It's a dumb little game that results in fun banter. Lo and behold, the bell advice the door dings again and in walk... The same 4 athletes who basically saw you getting outted as being cheated on. The MSBY black jackles, with the rest of the team in tow. The owner working the register guides them to the large booth in the opposite corner from you and your friends, who ask if you wanna go after seeing the 4 familiar faces. You shake your head, saying you're having fun and betting that the extra shy, probable assistant, hasn't been to hot pot before as you slip a leafy green veggie in your mouth. You're friends smile and agree with you're bet, and you let your night continue.
The three of you fall easy back into yourselves as the waiter comes to top up your broth for the 3rd time, never noticing the pair of eyes that seem to linger along your form here and there. You don't even notice how the same eyes trail you once again as you leave out with your friends, looking considerably happier than when you left the gym. He knows he shouldn't be looking so hard, but he just cant seem to understand. Why would a man who married you not want you or not want to show you off?
You keep to your word and go back three days later, muscles sore the day after from how hard May worked you both but you return nonetheless to join her again as she says you'll both get used to it and she'll keep the routine the same for a while to help speed up that process. She beams at both of your forlorned faces as she makes you both get down on the floor for your stretches.
She keeps to her word, and you get back into your prior habits as your friends remind you that self care shouldn't be tied to the scumbag you live with as they have now deemed him. Your days with them are your highlights, whether it's just lunch and the gym or if they come over to insult your husband in the guest room you've moved into. Your gym trips are a bit better for your mental health tho, having made a couple of friends through May's bubbly personal skills and being away from your husband's revolving door of women. You tend to avoid anyone who has more consistent contact with your husband or his job to avoid any more incidents like your first day and that seems to do you well, though you've of course run into several big names that have worked with his company or him once or twice. You don't mind those, especially since some are constant faces anytime you go to be whipped into shape by May.
Some of the more consistent faces you see are those of Athletes, specifically coming across the MSBY team again and again. The 4 who initially witnessed your sauna incident either didn't remember it or simply never seemed to show they did, none giving you any odd looks or pitied glances any time your eyes seemed to catch theirs in passing. You were always the first to turn away, never catching on to the way one of them seemed to stare. At least not at first. The more often you came, the more you saw them and vice versa. The more you saw them, the more he could stare. The more he could stare, the more you seemed to catch him and while he would avert his gaze elsewhere or focus of the weight in his hands, he'd still eventually find a way to stare at you again all whilst taking pride in the way you seemed to fluster under his gaze. That man was Atsumu Miya.
Of course, his blatant "eye fucking" as Sakusa would call it didn't go unnoticed by the others, Bokuto and Hinata scolding him for essentially hitting on a married woman. When away from other who knew nothing about the information they had heard in the sauna, Atsumu defends himself. "He's cheatin on 'er anyways and i haven't even said anything. Why can't i look?" The others always reply that it's not the point.
"They might be trying to work it out?" Hinata mutters, making all of them turn their nose and Atsumu respond with a "Fuckin hope not." The boys were raised on better teachings so, even if they were reprimanding their friend for his borderline inappropriate behavior, they still don't like the idea of some poor, pretty girl "working things out" with a man that obviously doesn't care about her. Atsumu's typical defense doesn't hold up for long though. As time passes, the more he sees you, the more he tries to find ways to talk to you. From bringing you and your friends water to engage in small talk under the guise of being kind before he's called back to managing to catch you and your friends as you're about to leave some other amenity after making sure he worked out for just a bit longer, saying it was to not slack close to a game, to be sure he caught you at the tail end of your swim or sauna sit. Atsumu continues to argue that there's nothing wrong with making small talk or incidentally running into someone in a shared public space.
"You don't even know what incidentally means, homewrecker." Sakusa shoots, Atsumu having an aghast expression at the word. Though, with more time and the tiny tidbits of info he learns about you personally, the more the insult seems to not matter. You're a nice convo partner, and he's just being nice, right?
Of course, you have other obligations to attend to aside from the gym. You know he still expects you to clean the house, that damn bedroom you can't find it in yourself to even look at much less sleep in anymore included, and make him (and guests he brings) food. You'd refuse if he didn't opt for the coercive method of throwing the fact you don't have a job right now in your face, guests there or not. You just go with it at this point to avoid talking to him, moving away or giving minimal acknowledgement when he tries to soothe you with empty hugs and worthless words. So the supermarket is your other safe haven. No hard work, no husband or women he's fucking, no real stress aside from not finding something you're craving. Crossing into the refrigerated section causes a shiver, eyes scanning over price tags you've never gotten used to looking at. As you reach out for a pack of chicken with a decent tag, a stronger hand brushes in front of your to cross in the other direction. Looking up reveals a familiar blonde headed athlete who seems to beam at seeing you, as if he didn't see you a couple aisles ago.
"Hey, been a couple days. How ya been?" He asks, taking his hand away and gesturing for you to grab your thing first.
"Been alright, resting up before my May drags us back. You?" Conversation comes easy, he's noticed you're kinda quiet so he takes the lead in asking questions and talking about his own things. He's careful, even subconsciously, about asking certain questions as to not put you in a sour mood. You ask him the occasional question as he seems to follow you around, noting he doesn't have anything else to do except his own personal grocery trip, like about his games and team. He has no issue answering, giving the occasional jab at them and joking with you to make you giggle behind your hand as you both float around the store until you both have to check out. When he realizes that the window is closing on the most in depth conversation he's ever had with you, he spings an invitation as you both exit the store. "Umm... Hey, do you maybe wanna come over to mine later? To keep talking? I think you're actually pretty interesting." He says quickly, trying to make sure you don't think what he feels you are.
You smile, laughing softly. "Your reputation is starting to sound a bit more true. You always invite girls over to 'talk' after you grocery shop with them?" He smiles and shakes his head, free hand rubbing the back of his neck.
"Nah, just you." He flirts, and liking the feel of the missing male attention, you agree. He comes and tells you where his place is, and upon looking at it typed out, you realize that it's actually not far from where you and him live. Like, just a bit farther, just almost out of sight due to the curve, down the long street that your house sits at. You can walk to his house. When you tell him as much, he laughs. "Small world, huh? I'll leave the door open then." He shoots you a wink before heading on his way to his car ad you do yours.
When you get home, you don't speak to your husband. This is now normal. You simply put away the groceries you bought save for what you cook after. Once you've rushed through making a meal you have no real intentions of eating, you simply shoot him an "I'm heading out." Before slipping out of the door and taking a slow, leisurely stroll down to Atsumu's place. It takes about 20 minutes at that pace, and once in front of the door, you get butterflies. That old familiar flutter in the base of your tummy makes you hesitate to knock but you're a big girl, so you reach your hand up to give a few solid pounds to the heavy door. His place is nice, you've seen every house in the neighborhood at least once but you never really knew who lived in them. You were already housewife status before you moved here so you rarely came outside or interacted with any neighbors except next door and directly across the street.
The door opens with the slightly sticky sound of the seal meant to keep the outside out, and in the way of your view into the luxury home stands a broad chest. Your eyes get stuck for a half second before they trail up to his face, bright smile already splayed across his face. "Well howdy neighbor." You've heard him speak so the accent wasn't low on you but there sure are some words that really bring it out. You bow your head with your greeting and he turns himself to the side to let you in. "What took so long? I was waitin for ya." He asks jokingly, and you smile as you tell him about having to cook before you left because if you didn't do it, who would? He hears how lighthearted you make it sound, and he swallows the frown before it gets to appear on his face. You're keeping your head high to cope and it makes him wanna gag as his eyes trail up you, seeing no real flaw as to why some man wouldn't wanna be with you. He thinks you're real pretty, gorgeous even. You're also smart, funny and pretty quick witted when your head's not in the clouds. He knows it's a little odd to feel so strongly for the situation of a woman you just met, but his mama taught him so much better than that so when confronted with shit like this, it's hard to fathom. Even more so when the subject of it is right in front of him, oh so beautiful with your-
"Atsumu? Earth to pro athlete, need you back down here, big guy. Atsumu?" Shit. He had zoned out looking at you as you spoke so when he shakes his head and politely asks you to repeat the last thing you said, he feels awful. You seen a little too used to it as you shrug it off, which he feels makes it worse, and ask again. "I said: Did you have a plan when you invited me over or were you just gonna go with the flow and see what happens?" You stand with your hands behind your back so to not touch anything, and he struggles with his mind wandering as he motions for you to sit down and quickly jogs into his kitchen.
"I mean, we had a pretty nice time talking at the grocery store so i figured we could just pick up where we left off." He calls before coming to set a glass of lemonade down in front of you on the coffee table. "And if you stay long enough, i wouldn't mind you joining me for dinner?" It comes out like a question, you've been here for all of 2 minutes max and he's already inviting you to stay longer. He's so eager in a way you cant help but giggle and agree. You watch as he sits on the other side of the couch before starting to engage you in some bit of conversation from before. What you pick up on is that he constantly tries to get you to talk more and he pays actual attention to what you say. Anytime you quiet down out of habit, he asks you another question. The conversation hops from life experiences, to vacations, to upbringings. Anything to get you to talk to him more, anything to learn as much as possible about you, anything to make you smile and giggle like he's getting so enamored with.
He can't keep convincing himself that he's just being nice.
Not as he moves just a bit closer every time he sits back down from refilling your drinks. Not as he keeps trailing his eyes up and down your form when you laugh hard enough to close your eyes. Not when he has to fend off the mild shutter that slides up his back at certain words you say. Not as he continues to mentally say you're basically in the right if you were to do something outside of your marriage, and how he'd offer himself up in a heartbeat despite the guilt he'd been raised to have. Maybe if he finds out just a bit more about your garbage life partner, he can get rid of all the guilt he has. So he asks as you sip at the wine he offered up along with dinner, citing he's not as good as his brother in the kitchen but he does know a bit.
"Hey, i understand if it's still kinda touchy and you really don't have to answer if you don't wanna but, im just having a hard time wrapping my head 'round it." He starts, and your stomach turns as you know what he's gonna ask. But you sigh and down the rest of the glass, feeling It's better to get it out there now rather than feel like you're manipulating the situation later. The feeling of being wanted for a bit was nice while it lasted though. You set the glass down next to your empty plate and turn to face him, questioning when he went from the other side of the couch to only a couple inches away, motioning for him to continue. He ponders on how to say it without seeming insensitive before he sighs and just blurts it out. "Why the hell is your husband cheating on you? I genuinely can't understand." He stops himself before he goes on a tangent about how pretty you are or how nice you are or how he'd treat you plenty better.
You feel your eyes burn. You thought you'd be over it by now but maybe you had just pushed the thoughts away, far enough that it was basically outta sight, outta mind. You blink quickly to get rid of the tears and once Astumu catches the glossy look, he shakes his head. He opens his mouth to tell you to forget about him asking but you out your hand up to stop him. He fears you might just up and walk out, looking like a kicked puppy along with you as you take a deep breath to compose yourself. You open your eyes and put your hand down, speaking before he can. "He wanted an open relationship, so he's not actually cheating on me." Saying it feels gross, and if you took your eyes off the floor you'd see Atsumu with a face that agrees. Not because of the open relationship thing, because of how you phrased it.
"So you didn't want the open relationship?" He asks for clarification and though you and Atsumu don't know each other as well as you know your best friends, he's a comfortable presence that feels empathetic to you in a way, despite feeling like he's pitying you too but that's just your mind talking there. You shake your head, dropping it into your hands to rub away the tension that's building your temples.
"He sprung it on me out of no where, said i wasn't making him happy anymore. Saying i had 'let myself go' and whatnot. I was working on it, really. Working out at home, keeping up self care routines, trying to initiate even though that isn't normal for me. He just... Didn't want me anymore." You're quiet as you talk, a small sniffle in the middle of your statement tugs hard at his heart. Well now he can't possibly feel bad. He asks you about the dudes at the sauna the first time he saw you and lets you explain that they work with with your husband under a different company. "They've probably seen him with his pretty little coworker who he's been sleeping with. By the sound of it, they aren't the most discreet about it so it's just embarrassing for me. They're the types to get pissy when turned down. He rolls his eyes hard enough to hurt, feeling like his brain is throbbing in his skull over how dumb it sounds. Your husband, he colleagues, whatever whore he's screwing that most likely knew who you were and that the idiot was married. It gives the most sour ass milk taste to him.
"And what about you? Since he forced it, wouldn't it be good to get out and see someone?" He asks softly, particularly because he's yet to see you truly conversing with another man in the time he's been talking to you. He's also never heard you talk about anyone else, not that it would truly be any of his business but it just intrigues him. You simply shake your head again though.
"He's... He's the only man over ever been with. We met when i was young, got engaged and married pretty quick but i wasn't the prettiest thing in the group so he had no real competition. When that happened i kinda just stayed inside and didn't bother even after starting the working out thing with May again. I mean, if no one wanted me then, why would they now and I've just gotten older?" Your insecurities have shown before but Astumu's about to start asking some real serious questions about how your husband treats you if you think so low of yourself.
"So why not leave? I mean it's obvious he doesn't care 'bout ya, and you don't seem like the type to stick around for shit like this." He admits its a bit assumptive but he can read people pretty well, and he'd bet on this assumption for sure.
"He married me when i was young and kinda took over most things. Pre and post me leaving my job and agreeing to be his fulltime housewife. I kinda can't... At least not right now." You admit. Atsumu has genuinely never wanted the throttle a man so badly. He's basically holding you hostage so he cant look bad but is forcing decisions on you whether you like them or not so he can do as he wants. Yea, he definitely doesn't feel bad anymore.
"I want you." It's a simple statement but it has you whipping your head to look at him and the serious face he has that somehow also looks like he's bored almost.
"What?"
"You asked who'd want you since time has passed and stuff, right? Me. I do." Your eyes widen as he continues. "I think you're fuckin' gorgeous to be honest. Inside and out. You're funny and sweet when you're comfortable, you've got a good heart and 's all bundled up in this lovely, lovely body o' yers." He starts to smile mid way through his declaration as he notices your dace get more and more flustered. His accent seems to get just a bit thicker as he talks faster towards the end, enthusiasm radiating from him as he closes that tiny 2 inch gap between you two on the couch so your thighs touch. You're shocked honestly. It felt like he liked you but your self doubt said it was just pity, but you also felt there was nothing wrong with being a bit delusional and taking what you could get from a nice man giving you attention. You stutter, trying to get something out about how you feel but he hold up his hands and leans back a bit, never scooting away from you though. "If ya don't feel that way about me, i understand even if it hurts a little. But I would love to show you how a proper man should be treating someone as beautiful as you." He's laying it on thick but you feel he's being honest about your ability to back out if you want.
You still can't manage to figure out the words you want to say to him. You don't really think you'd know where to start, being the way he didn't seem judgmental towards you or the fact he apparently had actual, genuine interest in you. So you hug him instead. He's surprised for a moment but quickly hugs you back, finding that you're so much softer, warmer than he expected this close. He nose catches whiffs of your soap and shampoo, you even smell gorgeous. And your husband didn't want this? Fucking idiot. You pull back after a while, just enough to look him in the eyes. "Thank you, but... You don't..." You start how you want, but you cant seem to find the correct way to finish. Atsumu understands from the way you avert your eyes, flustered and shy in a way he finds all too cute on you. He puts his hand under your chin to gently redirect your gaze back to his, confident smirk still splayed across his face. It's a reassuring look really, one that says he really does want to do what he said.
"If you don't want to, that's fine. I understand, but don't think that i don't want to. Because i really fucking do." His voice is low due to his proximity, leaning his forehead against yours as he searches for any sign of you pulling away or rejecting his advances. It's like a little game behind your eyes plays out before you opt to say fuck it and close the small gap between your mouths. He reciprocates immediately, moving his hand from your chin to the back of your head as your hand begin to wind themselves in his soft blonde locks. The kiss goes on for what makes your lungs feel like eternity, but your brain feel like mere seconds. When the burn in your chest is too much, you pull back and take a deep breath, letting the oxygen take your brain through thoughts of this really being a good idea. Your eyes scan Atsumu, from the lidded gaze to the slightly swollen lips to the heaving chest and from what your eyes take in, your brain says it's a great idea. I mean, if he's willing to give you what you're missing, why deny yourself?
He stands up and holds out his hand to you, letting you take it as you ask about where he's leading you to. "Well i did say i'd be proper bout it, right? Can't take you on the couch first time around, that comes later." You note how confidently he said later, as if he's assured a next time. And while normally you'd say that was a bit presumptuous of a man, you couldn't help but think of the kiss you shared and allow him to have his confidence. He smiles when you don't deny him too. He leads you to a room that's cleaner than what you'd expect from an athlete if you're honest. The room smells of lingering cologne and linen air freshner as he closes his door. He comes behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his face into the crook of your neck to kiss and nip at the skin as you tilt tour head to give him more space. You giggle as he kisses at certain spots, whimpering when he finds that particular spot that has you slightly buckling in his grasp.
His hands play with the hem of your shirt and pants, gently tugging as he sucks and bites at the spot that has you depending on him more to help you stand. "You can still back out now, (y/n). I really don't-" you wind up snaking your hand back into his hair, turning your head to bring his mouth to yours.
"I want to, Atsumu. Please, lemme have this." The way you whine has his eyes rolling in a good way this time, gently pushing you to his bed before he opts for turning you toward him and tossing you on it. His grip firm as he halfheartedly flung you onto the soft sheets as if you weighed nothing and without a single complaint either. He's quick to crawl over you and place his lips back on yours, tongue slipping in before you can fight him on it. You don't fight with him too much for dominance, more so to just be playful. He takes it, sliding his hands higher under your shirt than before to touch your skin as you fingers dig into his shoulder. He takes time to pull away every so often to ask if he can remove some piece of clothing from you, seeming as if he truly couldn't get enough of you. First your shirt, then pants, then his own. He barely detached his body from yours as he stripped you or himself, wanting nothing more than the feel of your soft, pretty skin on his. When he inevitably did have to pull himself up onto his knees to take off your bra, he couldn't help but take in the sight in front of him.
You're underneath him, as he's wanted for a bit now, neck only slightly marked up from before, lips swollen and a little of the mixed saliva from him keeping your mouths together making Its way down your cheek from the corner of your mouth. Your chest is heaving from him giving you minimal time to breathe between kisses, and to top it off you're basically half naked, the pretty body he's seen clad in various workout clothes finally exposed properly for his eyes to drink in. His staring to you on the other hand, has you feeling self conscious. You take a breath and start to move to shield your body from him, crossing your legs and bringing one of your arms over your chest to hide. He quickly stops you, whining at you, gently smacking your hands and thighs to get you to move them. He settles himself properly between your thighs and moves to pin your hands above your head with one hand. "Don't hide, beautiful. 'M only staring cause i think you're pretty." He smiles at the flustered look that comes back across your face and trails his free hand over the too of your bra. "I can take the rest of it off, right?" He asks, eyes still glues to your chest.
You hum and nod, so he wastes no time before reaching under you to unhook the only thing keeping your chest from his mouth. He almost drools at the sight of them when he moves his other hand from your wrists to toss the garment to the floor. There's quiet fuck that slips from him as his eyes catch on your tits the same way yours did earlier, and under such admiration you can't really tell when, if ever, your husband looked at any part of you with such genuine hunger. If feels nice to be looked at like this, so you try not to let your hands fall from where they rest above your head. His hands smooth down your sides, gripping every so often at the soft flush under his fingers til he gets to the hem of your panties, pulling and letting them snap against your hip as you yelp. He's tempted to rip them in all honesty but decides against it, simply sliding them down and off you to the floor as his eyes rake up and down you to figure out where to start.
His hands reach for your chest, kneading your tits and watching how responsive you are to him tweaking and thumbing over your nipples. He takes in every tiny whimper and breathess noise you make before taking your left nipple into his mouth and moaning at the taste of your skin. Your hands come down then, rethreading through his hair and unconsciously pushing him just a bit more into your chest. They're more sensitive than he thought, and you seem to love the way he flicks the hardened bud with his tongue before he takes a teasing bite and pulls it with his teeth just a little. He's not one to show favoritism in the bedroom, so he swaps to lavish the other with the same attention, biting just a bit harder to get you to make more noise for him. It all has him rutting his still clothed cock against your center, the wetness quickly seeping through the thin fabric and driving him to take his open mouthed kisses down your torso, leaving marks here and there to show his pathing until he's kissing the top of your mound. You tug his hair and he lets his drunken gaze float up to yours, mouth still kissing around between your thighs.
"You... Don't have to, if you don't wanna... Just so you don't feel obligated or something..." His brows furrow as his mouth sticks to one spot just above your clit as he takes in what you just said. His foggy brain has a moment of realization when he sees that you aren't just flustered, but embarrassed. He sits up a bit more as you gulp and raises his eyebrow at you.
"Did that fuckwit tell you he didn't like eating pussy?" He asks so bluntly it makes you curl up a bit as you avert your gaze, hands stroking his head still.
"He said it wasn't his favorite part but he did it because it was expected so I'm just- ah!! Fuck!" You're abruptly cut off as Atsumu opts to dive head first to your center, tossing your legs over his shoulders and running his tongue from your hole to your clit before sucking it into his mouth. Atsumu eats pussy for his own enjoyment, for fun. Your husband had you at home all the time and didn't constantly want his face between your lovely thighs? He didn't want the warm soft earmuffs and the, to Atsumu, gentle pressure of you squeezing his head with them? Because to Sumu, this feels like heaven. The muffled squeals as he slides his tongue from lapping at your clit to fucking your slippery hole and nudging his nose against your clit to keep the cute little button stimulated have him rutting into his mattress. You're overwhelming his senses and he's in love with it, it's a contender for being his favorite part of it in competition with how you taste. One taste and he's actively trying to devour you, as if he hadn't eaten dinner maybe an hour or so ago.
His hands grip onto your plush thighs and encourage you to clamp them even harder than you are now around his head as you whine and keen under him. Your fingers tug at his hair as you halfway guide his mouth where you want him, also grinding your cunt against his face and breathlessly moaning everytime he hums in pleasure against you. He opens his eyes when he feels one of your hands leave his head and lets them trail up you see your head tossed into his pillows and the hand you freed from his locks grasping at your chest, kneading your breasts as he did earlier and he can't help the way he basically growls into you. "Atsumu~ mmphf! Fuck, Sumu!" Oh god if he wasn't determined to get you to cum from the dumb shit you told him earlier, he was now.
He keeps his grip on your thighs, sluring and lapping feverishly at your pretty pussy, making sounds you'd truly be embarrassed of if you could find yourself thinking straight. He lets you use his face, lets you tug and pull his hair in a way that would be damn near painful, if he could think straight either to, to let you throw yourself off that cliff. He's only focusing on the moans clawing their way from your throat, getting higher and higher in pitch until you feel like you're about to crush his skull between your thighs. You call his name over and over, louder and louder until you go rigid and squeal as he helps himself to your sweet release, guiding you through wave after wave of pleasure.
Once you begin to paw and push at his head, he pulls himself up to look down at you with a wolfish smile and drunken gaze. His chin and lips shine in the daylight that floods through his bedroom window, the subtle warmth that still enraptures you keeps you from being as embarrassed about the sight. He moves his hand to swipe your juices from his chin before placing those same fingers into his mouth and humming at the taste. "You're husband has absolutely no taste, does he?" You giggle and move to sit up, a hand reaching to trail down his abdomen to the hem of his boxers but are stopped short by him pushing you back down and crawling to blanket you with his body. He kisses you deeply, sharing the taste still on his tongue with you and swallowing the little whimpers you give.
"Are you not gonna let me reciprocate that?" You ask when he finally parts, moving to trail his mouth down your neck and shoulder as he shakes his head.
"Uh uh, at least not this time. Next time." He assures, and you laugh softly in his ear at his confident insistence on this not being a 1 time thing. It makes you giddy, a man desiring you in a way that seemed so fairytale lately even tho you were supposed to be happily married. He nips at your shoulder and hums when you don't respond. "You'll let there be a next time, right darlin'?" He mumbles against your shoulder. You nod, dreamily humming as you turn to kiss his temple. At your agreement, he grinds himself against you, letting your slick completely soak through his underwear as you both moan into each other's skin. You grab hold of his shoulders as he keeps going, his grunts heavy on your neck as he tries to keep from going overboard. He does sit up, chuckling breathlessly as you whine at the loss of his heat.
He quickly slides off his boxers and when your eyes meet again, or rather when he looks at your face, the smile that crosses his face is smug. Your eyes were glued to between his legs, your lower lip caught between your teeth. He was bigger than your husband, longer and thicker though you'd say they were similar heights. Impressive sure was one way to describe it, the tip pink and glossed over with his arousal that began to run down his length. He trails his fingers from his abs to wrap around his dick, giving it slow stokes which catches your attention. You let your eyes follow up from his dick, soaking in the way the muscles under the skin of his tummy ripple and quiver, taking in how his chest rises and falls with his labored breaths. From his chest, you look to his face, catching how his eyes are intently glued to you as he seems to fight the urge to fist himself faster. Your grip on your lip becomes bruising, the wet plaps of his hand around himself causing you to twitch and pant.
He smiles as he stops, bringing his wet hand to your mouth with a slightly raised brow, a tiny gasp escaping him as you eagerly take his hand in yours and run your tongue over his palm and between his fingers. It sets him off, as he's quickly over you again, freshly licked hand guiding his hardness to your weeping center and mouth on yours with the full intent to make it hard to breathe. He lets his cock slide through your folds, swallowing your moans every time his tip rubs your swollen clit. "You ready, sweetheart?" He slurs against your mouth. You nod, clasping your hands together at the back of his neck, desperate mutters of "Please, Sumu..." spurring him on as he slides his way into you. He was happy at how easy it was; despite how tight you were, your pussy was wet enough give give him little resistance. He only pulled away from the heated kiss to watch your eyes roll into the back of head and listen at the drawn out noise you gave him.
When he feels you hike your leg over his hip and push him into you, he almost giggles at your eagerness. He moves his hands to the sides of your head, starting a steady rut into you before both of you whine at the feeling not being enough. "Please, Astumu.. Gimme more~" you ask so sweetly, how can he deny you? His hips begin to snap into yours, drawing out pretty high pitched moans and grunts from both of you. He moves his face to mark your throat and shoulder as he pumps into you, hands moving to grab your hips to prevent you from scooting up the bed as he starts to thrust faster and faster. He keeps his moth on your throat, grunting at the feel of your sounds on his lips and your nails digging into his shoulders as you wrap your other leg around his waist.
"Feel .. s'good baby. Y'er grippin me soooo fuckin tight- shit!" He curses into your neck, mindless babbles being all he receives in return. The smile on his face never seems to leave, even as he sits up to sit back on his haunches and starts using your hips to bring your velvety pussy onto him, your ass propped up just a bit by his thighs underneath. The angle has you keening, arching your back and grasping at his wrists as a way to ground yourself as he pistons into you again and again. The sticky wet squelch between you drags Atsumu's eyes down to where you both connect, rolling and threatening to close as the sight of his pelvis all glossy, pretty white ring encircling his base and shaft completely coated. The feel of your walls convulsing and clentching as your hips buck against his in a futile effort to keep up with his brutal pace is mind numbing, dragging almost whiny moans from his chest as his hands garb onto any bit of you they can and please.
When he does manage to tear his eyes away from your swollen cunt sucking him in, he lets his gaze lick up your body. From your tummy that he can see bulge with every pump in, to your tits that bounce so nicely, to your pretty face and the adorable fucked out expression that's plastered across it. He genuinely thinks you're so pretty, he can't wrap any part of his mushy brain around how someone could have you and not want to worship you all the damn time. You deserve so much. And he's damn sure gonna give it to you. "Y'er- so- fuck-in pretty!" Every syllable is punctuated with a harsh kiss to your cervix, just bordering on painful but still adding to the pleasure that has your eyes glued to the back of your skull. Your whines and moans are broken as they hit his ears, one large hand moving from your hip to your front, letting his thumb rub your clit and his other four fingers press above where his cock hits inside.
You shudder under his hands, twitching as you let out a weak warning of your impending orgasm. Though teary eyes, you see him nod. "C'mon darlin, cum nice an' hard f'me." He grunts, leaning up onto his knees just a bit more for leverage to throw you over.
And he does.
Your eyes clamp shut as you basically scream, his name tumbling out again and again as he fucks you through it. He's honestly a bit disappointed in the fact you didn't squirt, but there's always next time, right? He does fall over the edge after you do, your gorgeous climax having a domino effect on him as he grunts out your name like a mantra until he can't. The after shocks of yours guiding him through his own overwhelming haze of pleasure, and he finds himself drooling slightly by the time he comes back to earth. His body collapses next to yours after he pulls out and watches your cunt twitch and clench, letting his cum seep out and admiring it as it follows the curve of your ass onto his bed. He pulls you to him and you let him, snuggling into his chest.
He lays there for a bit, basking in the afterglow with you before getting up to get a wet towel to clean you up with as a bath runs. "Oh, you don't have to-" The stare he gives cuts you off as he wipes down your lower half, eyes narrowed at what you saying that now implies about how you were treated at home.
"I just fucked your pretty little brains out, sweetheart. I am not only obligated to clean you up and take care of you, but i want to. As any real man should." He emphasizes what shouldn't need to be said as he finishes wiping you down and goes back into his bathroom to finish up your bath. He carries you, despite protest, and sets you in as he says he's going to change his sheets. "Do... Do you maybe wanna stay over?" He's suddenly bashful, and it makes you wonder if the man who just made you cum harder than you have in years just a moment ago and this sweet, shy, country boy who can't seem to find your eyes is the same man. You nod, saying you'd like that. He finds your eyes then, dopey smile out in full as he hops off to clean his room.
He comes back just when you're clean and about to fall asleep, calling for you as he helps you out and dries you off, admiring your sleepy form as he slides a clean tshirt over your head. He guides you out this time, you smacking his hands when he tries to pick you up, his bed now dressed in a pretty deep grey color as he lets you lay down and get comfy. He's about to walk into the bathroom when your phone rings from the floor, you sucking your teeth at the ringtone. He rummages through your pants to find it again and frowns at it being the man neither of you wanna hear from. He does not the lack of guilt he feels about what happened tho. He hands it to your grabby hand and listens from the bathroom as you answer.
"Hello?... What does it matter what im doing?... I'm not at home, your dinner is in the oven. Is that not everything?... What you do in that house, in that bed is none of my business. I don't wanna hear about it either, not like i sleep there..... I have an attitude because you're bothering me... That's not even fair, what for?!... Sure, whatever. Move it i guess.... No, im not. Can i go now?" He hears you sigh and groan, but you seem to be off the phone, so he quickly hops in the shower before coming to cuddle with you in bed. The evening sun has set, the sky it's deep inky black through the window as he flicks on the tv to something neither of you pay attention to. He wraps you tight on his embrace and kisses your head, asking what your legal partner wanted. "He wants to use the guest room I'm staying in to house his little tramp because she's having 'family issues, don't be such a bitch. She's going through a hard time.'" You grown and half flail like you're having a tantrum, pressing your face into his chest. He grips even tighter, his blood boiling. That man has 0 respect and it shows so much.
"You can bring whatever things you don't want him to touch here." He offers, and you turn your sad, puppy like eyes to him. Even in the dark, under the mild light of his tv, he can see how glassy they are. It hurts his heart. "You can come by whenever you want, too. I'll never turn you away." You open your mouth, voice raspy with tears as you tell him of not wanting to intrude or be a burden but he stops you with a kiss. "Im not him. You will never be a burden to me. I mean it. Whatever or whenever, you always have a sizable place here." The tears fall but you smile at his sweetness, sharing kisses and sniffly thank you's with him. He pulls you on top of him, letting your head lay on his chest as he soothes his hands over your back, telling you to get some well deserved sleep. He thankfully doesn't miss your mutters of how much you like him already and how thankful you are before you're out cold. He places another kiss to your head, smiling as his own eyes close from his own exhaustion. Be it from fucking you like that or from being angry at your paper-only lover, he doesn't know or even care right now. He knows he'll have to explain himself to someone at some point, but that's a task for future Astumu.
Besides, he's just doing what his mama taught him was right, right?
Comments, likes, and reblogs are appreciated! Hope you guys enjoyed! โ™กยด๏ฝฅแด—๏ฝฅ`โ™ก
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woozvc ยท 7 months
Text
all my love
based on this request (by @cienlvrs )
synopsis โ€” vernon is a quiet person but he doesn't realise you see all his love.
pairing โ€” vernon x gn!reader
word count โ€” 746
warnings โ€” hint of insecurities but it's not elaborated on, reader gets fired from work, tiredness
genre/s โ€” non idol au, quiet x hyper, fluff
a/n โ€” this is for @caratsland 's October event! a little sappy but wtf I love vernon sm ๐Ÿฅฒ
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...My love only amounts to this
vernon is not a verbal person. he's always been the quiet one in his friend groups. during the beginning of your relationship it would usually be you who would initiate conversations. don't get it wrong, staying in silence with vernon is amazing but you liked his voice. there were moments where you wondered if vernon liked u the way u liked him. and he knew that. he felt immense love for you but he could never express it. did his love only amount to this?
....Me, who doesnโ€™t know what to do.
What can I possibly do?
Iโ€™m sincerely sorry.
My love only amounts to this
But thank you for staying by my side
My baby
as you guys went on, you realised he loved you more than words could express. his love was quiet not silent. you guys got more comfortable with eachother, comfortable in your dynamic of you blabbering your heart out and vernon listing intently with short answers. it might seem rude to an outsider, but to you it was love. you loved vernons love. he was worried he wasn't doing enough, so he always did more. your rough days were rough for him too. he never knew how to respond to your hour long rants about how hard life is. he never knew what to say or what to do to make you feel better. so he listened, hoping itll be enough for you.
...I can do everything for you.
I only have a big heart that wants to give you everything
a year and half into your relationship and vernon was sure he could take a bullet for you. he was sure he could do anything for you. but, what? nothing felt right to do. he wanted to take you out on fancy dates but you always preferred his dates at home and so did he. he wanted to do something special but he never understood what the special was to you. he wants to give everything in the world to you and he wants you to receive. so do you. vernon doesn't realize you see him clean the kitchen after you say you're tired. vernon doesn't realise you see him work endless nights so that both of you could have the future you aspire to. vernon doesn't realise you see him look at you like you're his whole world. vernon doesn't realise you see his big heart.
..My love only amounts to this.
But my heart wonโ€™t change
three years into your relationship and vernon talks a lot more now. he tried his best to give more than a word answers, he tried his best for you to notice that he's listing. he's loved you since the day he saw you at his local music shop in the same asile as him and he loves you now. he knows his love for you is immeasurable, he knows it'll never fade. he knows no matter what happens you'll always be his beginning, middle and end but he still feels like it's less. he measures his love in an amount and for him it's not much. but he knows, no matter what happens, his heart won't change.
...Iโ€™ll be your umbrella when it rains.
Iโ€™ll protect you throughout all your days
now as u stand in your home, you're content. it's hard to remember how many years you have been with vernon. time flew and you heart stayed the same. your house is quiet mostly, vernon still basking in his silence like he always has. he has moments where he makes it obvious that he feels not good enough, but you're here to remind him u see it. you saw it when u ranted to vernon for the first time about getting a bad grade in math and the next day he got you new pens and suggested to sit with you and help you solve workbooks. you saw it when you got fired from your first job and he spend the next 3weeks driving to place to place. you saw it when he was there for you when no one else was. you've both realised you're going to be each other's forever. vernon says he'd like to be your umbrella on the bad days. little does he know, he's the reason the bad days dont seem so stormy anymore. you give him all your love, and he gives you all of his.
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mixelation ยท 1 month
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i went into the itasaku tag and there's a lot of art of them with minato. (if you just went WTF WHY? it's because in the big favorite character poll that happened semi recently, they're the top 3 favorite characters.) anyway obviously i started to go "hmmm could that ship WORK though"
here is what i have so far
itachi and sakura accidentally time travel directly into the middle of the third shinobi war. this forces an unlikely team-up thing for survival.
i think itachi is so committed to his villain bit he would rather fuck himself over royally than team up with sakura. sakura is SLIGHTLY more likely to play nice but still needs dire circumstances as motivation. so maybe: they end up immediately in enemy territory with their konoha headband (sakura) and uchiha eyes (itachi) and become immediate targets. suddenly sakura is like "hey i need you to kill everyone" and instead of doing that itachi coughs up blood. she can point him at enemies though and he'll genjutsu them and that works great. like this
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so sakura is like "okay i need your help as a more experienced ninja for my own survival" bc yeah sakura is a badass, but she's never had to go on the run before or fight more than a handful of ninja at once. meanwhile itachi is breathing better than he has in years after one (1) session with sakura and suddenly a temporary team up seems like a great idea. like yes he wants sasuke to kill him but in order for that to happen he needs to live long enough to un-time travel himself.
however. neither of them have any idea what's happening. they get into stupid nerd fights over details of historical events. they cite publications at each other. frequently it turns out both of them are wrong. they also argue over whether or not they should seek help from konoha
sakura: you don't have to TELL the uchiha you murder them all in the future???? just use your fancy eyes to legitimize being an uchiha so they believe us!
itachi: (silent internal emoting)
meanwhile jiraiya has picked up on the most INSANE rumors of a tsunade impersonator smashing forests and mountains and shit. she may or may not have an even worse orochimaru impersonator with her. jiraiya sends minato to investigate.
there's a lot of fanboy debate over if minato could beat itachi in a fight. and for the purposes of this fic, i'm going to say: yes, yes he can. and it's incredibly upsetting for both itachi AND sakura
minato, to sakura, while sitting on itachi: okay so if you ARE an impersonator, your tsunade costume is really bad
sakura: (TERRIFIED SILENT SCREAMING?)
minato: but your jutsu impersonation is pretty spot on.....?
minato: (looks down between his knees at itachi) did you do that with your..... sharingan....... mr. uchiha bastard?
itachi: (has never been more confused in his life. he's never lost a fight this bad. he assumed losing a fight this bad would mean he'd die. he's not confused about being called a bastard though. that just happens.)
then idk. maybe they tell minato they're time travelers and he takes them back to jiraiya. the mood is very "minato is strong and hot and friendly. this is both sakura and itachi's type they didn't know they had. but also. help."
jiraiya: hmmm well, this one's obviously an uchiha, but YOU need to prove you're really tsunade-hime's apprentice. tell me...... what are her measurements
sakura: (pulverizes a boulder with her bare fist) does that answer your question or should i demonstrate on something else ( :
jiraiya: wow it's a mini-tsunade no further questions!!!!
i think i want minato to be in the 18-19 range so it's right around the time of itachi's birth. they decide itachi and sakura shouldn't go to konoha to reduce time travel shenanigans, such as accidentally preventing their own births. it seems like itachi would especially be at risk for butterfly effecting himself
sakura: (thoughtful expression)
itachi: no.
sakura: i don't say anything!
minato: ???? aren't you allies?
sakura: inside joke :) don't worry about it :)
so minato ends up their konoha proxy. he goes and researches un-time traveling them and then shows up and acts.... really charming? like when minato tells you everything will be okay, you believe him. and he's SMART and HANDSOME and once SETTLES AN ARGUMENT OVER WHERE THE RICE COUNTRY CAPITAL, WHICH MOVES ON AVERAGE EVERY THREE MONTHS DURING THE WAR, CURRENTLY IS. he's not even condescending that they're both wrong. itachi keeps thinking about him wrestling him down into submission and he doesn't know why. sakura is rethinking her personal definition of "dreamy"
sakura after minato leaves: this is SO upsetting. he's not even my type. i like dark and brooding.
itachi: what
sakura: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
and theeeen...... maybe they both get so sexually frustrated over minato they have sex with each other, idk don't worry about it
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talesofesther ยท 2 years
Text
dreams made of sand and golden waves
Eddie Munsonย x Reader
Summary:ย It's time for the yearly trip to your grandparent's beach house; this year you are hellbent on not going alone, and Eddie is just about the only person who can pass as your boyfriend. It's just one weekend, so keeping real feelings at bay should be easy, right?
A/N:ย aka a very cliche fake dating au with lots of domestic fluff that I indulged myself in writing. I wrote this as nothing serious and just because I really like this trope (but boy did it take me fucking long to write it wtf). Also very important to say that I don't live in the USA, so if anything about the locations in here is wrong, blame it on Google. That being said, let's take Eddie to the beach <3.
Word count:ย 12,6k
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"Eddie, pleeease!" You groaned, following him around inside his trailer.
He picked up a beer from the fridge and walked back to his room, turning his head to give you a quick glance with a smirk. A Black Sabbath album resonated through the trailer from his player beside his bed. The cheap yellow lighting made his eyes glint, the brown orbs you adored now causing annoyance to surge inside you.
Eddie plopped himself on top of his worn yet incredibly soft bed, crossing his legs and taking a sip of his beer. "Sorry sweetheart, can't do it."
You heaved an exasperated sigh, resting your hands on your hips and avoiding his eyes, to look around his bedroom. His guitar hanging in front of the mirror felt like it might as well have been laughing at you, given the hole you dug for yourself. Right beside it, haphazardly taped to the mirror, was a Polaroid of both of you; Eddie's arm around your shoulders, your smile almost as big as his, the two of you on the Ferris wheel, with the light from the fireworks illuminating your faces. Eddie always loved to capture moments like these. That way they'll last forever, he'd said.
The picture brought good memories, but you forced your eyes away. You'd spent countless hours hanging out with Eddie in this same bedroom, listening to music and smoking the occasional weed to loosen up weekly nerves. You were no stranger to the posters, the VHS tapes, and the mess, yet now your anxiety made the room feel a little suffocating.
"Please Eddie, it's just one weekend." Your voice leveled out in a steady tone.
The half-full beer bottle was discarded to the floor. Eddie looked up at the ceiling with his lips parting in a sigh, before he let himself fall back on his bed, his head hitting the mattress. Deep down he knew he'd never be able to deny you anything.
The mattress dipped as your knees came to rest on top of it, you slowly crawled your way to him. Laying down beside him with one hand under your head, you fixed your eyes on his profile. You followed the line of his nose to the curve of his lips, gripping the bedsheets so you wouldn't reach out.
Eddie turned his head to look at you. "Your family is not gonna like me, y'know. Why does it have to be me?"
"Because," you pursed your lips, "everyone is going to be there, all my cousins and aunts. With their plus ones. And I can't be the only sad loser who's still very much single and alone." You picked at the sheets, avoiding his eyes. "I can't stand another year hearing the 'when are you gonna find someone, Y/N?' questions with that pitiful look on their faces."
"You're not alone." Eddie reasoned.
Ever the charmer, you thought to yourself. His words made you chuckle lightly. "Sorry, I know I have you. Andโ€ฆ" Biting the inside of your cheek, you said in a lower tone; "no one here knows me better than you do Eddie, you know that. If anyone is gonna make it believable when pretending to be my boyfriend, it's gonna be you."
Eddie could feel his mouth drying up just by hearing the words, his heart picking up a quicker pace. Pretending. That word would be haunting him forever.
How was he supposed to hold your hand, kiss your cheek and keep you close without it meaning anything?
How was he supposed to go back to being your friend โ€” best friend, most important person in the world, as you liked to call it, yet friend nonetheless โ€” after living through the one thing he wanted the most?
He'd be driving a knife right into his chest. And yet, for you, he'd do it smiling.
One thing he knew though. He wouldn't have to pretend to be head over heels for you.
"Okay."
You pushed yourself up on your elbows, wide eyes glued to him in excitement. "Really?"
Eddie sighed loudly, running his hands over his face. He peeked at you through his fingers. "Yeah really, whatever. You'll owe me big time."
Next thing he knew you were throwing yourself on top of him, momentarily knocking the air out of his lungs. He held you back with a huff, already smiling at the affection you gifted him with. His arms encircled your waist, while yours closed around his neck between his soft hair and the bedsheets.
"Thank you, Eddie. I'll make it up to you, I promise." You breathed out against his skin. Relieved out of your mind that you wouldn't be alone in that beach house. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
Eddie's lips parted as he stared at the stained ceiling, feeling a distant sting in his eyes. He gripped the fabric of your shirt, focusing on the comforting weight of your body atop his; instead of the fact that he'd be condemning his poor heart in just a few days.
_____
It was a yearly family trip, you could go as far as to say it was a tradition. Everyone coming together in your grandparent's beach house in Porter, for at least one weekend. The place was beautiful, and you had countless unforgettable memories there from when you were younger; however now, the trip was starting to become a day you didn't exactly look forward to โ€” especially after moving to Hawkins, going back to your hometown usually only made you miss it more once you had to leave again. And you loved your family, but naturally, they could be a little too much sometimes, especially your aunt Kathy, who was your typical matchmaker.
Having Eddie with you would be a relief, not only because you wouldn't have to hear the incessant nagging about when you'd find someone, but also because he would quite literally be your source of comfort.
After loading up everything you'd need for the weekend, you drove up to Eddie's trailer. Parking your car beside his beat-up van, you got out and walked up the stairs to the front door, not bothering to knock before getting in, he knew you were coming.
Wayne looked up from his place sitting on the couch when you walked in, a beer can in his hand. "Hey Y/N."
"Hi Wayne, how are you?" You smiled.
"Good," he nodded, and a smirk appeared on his face, he tilted his head towards Eddie's bedroom, "so you're finally making it official then?"
"Ha ha." You humorlessly faked a laugh, feeling your face heat up. "Don't start, it's just a stupid family gathering that I don't wanna go alone to."
"You kids always finding excuses." Wayne raised an eyebrow at you with a teasing look, that you chose to ignore, making your way to Eddie's bedroom.
Eddie was rummaging through his wardrobe, a deep frown on his eyebrows. He threw a black shirt on his bed and you noticed that he already had a small backpack with clothes there.
"How's my other half?" You teased, sitting down on his bed. You picked up the shirt he just tossed there and folded it neatly.
Huffing out a sigh, Eddie turned to you, now with a pair of grey sweatpants in his hands. His hair, you just noticed, was tied in a low bun; you always loved this look on him.
"Trying to find beach clothesโ€ฆ that I don't have."
"Spring has just started Eds, we're not gonna swim, don't worry." You grabbed his backpack, curiously peering inside to see what he was taking.
Eddie sat down beside you, clutching the sweatpants to his chest. "You think that's enough?"
You chuckled, leaning towards him and snatching the pants from his hands to fold them and tuck them in his bag. "I think you're worse than me when it comes to packing."
His unamused look made you smirk. You closed the zipper on his backpack and raised a hand to his face, flicking away a loose strand of hair that had fallen on his eyes. "It's perfectly enough, and we should be leaving already."
You got up from the bed pulling a strap of his bag over your shoulder, not seeing the way his cheeks reddened with your touch.
Eddie followed suit, stuffing his hands in his pockets and giving his bedroom one last glance over to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything.
"My parents already left yesterday to get there earlier. We're going with my car," you turned to him, walking backward and to the living room, "you're driving." You threw the car keys to him, which he scrambled to catch mid-air.
After saying goodbye to Wayne and tossing Eddie's backpack in the back of your car with your own bags, you were finally on the road to Porter Beach. The drive was a little long so you stopped by a gas station to grab a few snacks.
About one hour of driving, and you were munching on a cereal bar, feet resting up on the dash. Most of the way there was through a beautiful countryside, green fields surrounding the highway as you avoided going through any city's traffic. You were looking out the window, enjoying the low tune of a Bon Jovi tape you insisted on playing.
Lazily turning your head to the side, your gaze settled on Eddie. He had one hand resting on the wheel while the other held a can of soda, his eyes focused on the road ahead. You felt your lips curling up in a smile. He looked handsome, it felt right to be doing this, casually going out of town with him to meet your family. For a moment you forgot it was play pretend.
"So um- what are the ground rules?" Eddie's voice brought you back down to earth, making you frown.
"Ground rules?"
"Yeah, I mean, what we can and can't do. What are the boundaries of this relationship?" He shot you a suggestive glance with a toothy grin.
You rolled your eyes, stretching your arms above your head before throwing away the empty wrap of your cereal bar. "Well, we just have to pretend while we're with them soโ€ฆ holding hands, the occasional cuddle, those things. It's pretty straightforward, just like any other relationship you've had I guess."
Eddie promptly fixed his eyes back on the road, biting the inside of his cheek and gripping tightly onto the steering wheel. "But I don'tโ€ฆ Just- just give me some pointers alright? What are you comfortable with?"
"There's not much to say, Eddie. You just kind of roll with it, and I'm sure whatever you're used to will be fine by me too, I trust you." You lean your head on the back of your seat, looking at him and taking notice of his tense shoulders. Whole body, really. "I mean, you've been in a relationship before, right?"
Eddie clenches his jaw, eyes looking anywhere but you as he grumbles; "you know I didn't." He didn't know why it bothered him, it's not like you'd judge him. But a little embarrassment still twirled in his stomach. And Eddie wasn't an idiot, he knew how couples behaved, but not having any experience in the matter still made him worried about crossing your boundaries; worried enough to step out of his comfort zone and ask.
"I know you didn't in the two years I've known you, butโ€ฆ before that?" You inquired tentatively.
Eddie's face twisted in a mixture of a smile and grimace. "Not many people are interested in dating the town's freak, I'm afraid."
His voice dripped with sarcasm but you could see the hint of hurt underneath, the loneliness. It baffled you though, how no one had had the privilege of knowing him like this. No one but you. The thought sent a shiver down your spine and you suppressed it just as fast as it came.
"It's alright, I know you'll make a great boyfriend." You smiled, poking his arm to bring a smile to him as well. "Just do what your heart tells you."
With your words, Eddie's heartbeat sped up. He cleared his throat and tried to sound casual with his next question; "what about kissing?"
That had you chuckling. You finally looked away from him and watched the road in front of you. "I guess we'll have to? At least some pecks here and there, otherwise they'll see right through it. If you're okay with it. I mean, what couple doesn't kiss, right?"
Eddie pursed his lips, gulping down the feelings clawing at his throat. "Right."
As you reached town, Eddie started following your instructions to get to the house. The town was pretty, and in some ways, reminded Eddie of Hawkins.
He ended up driving to a secluded neighborhood, and as he sped forward, fewer and fewer houses started to appear; until he reached the end of the road, and there, facing Lake Michigan, stood a big, white wooded house. It had two floors and a run-down stone path that lead to its entrance, surrounded by a few patches of grass, and a few coastal trees, but mostly light-colored sand that blended with the house nicely. And as Eddie parked the car beside the house, he noticed that some of the white paint was wearing off, certainly a teller of how long the house had existed. Yet despite its age, the house still looked well taken care of, fancy. It stood on a slight hill, giving them a perfect view of the beach ahead.
Eddie was quiet as he took in his surroundings, slowly pulling the key from the ignition when your car was settled beside the other two already parked there. Sometimes, he forgot how different your world was from his. Rich parents, fun childhood, big family. In moments like these, he was reminded of it.
"Here we are," you said quietly, eyes fixated on the house you practically grew up in. "I swear this place never changes." You opened your door with a soft click and the coastal wind filled your nostrils, making your hair fly. You turned to Eddie before stepping out.
He spoke before you could, hands still gripping the steering wheel. "You know, sometimes I forget that you're-"
"Don't say it." You cut him off.
"Rich?" With a raised brow, Eddie finally peeled his eyes away from the house and the waves washing to shore, and looked at you.
"Stop it, Eddie," you huffed, "for the last time, all of this," you gestured to the white house, fresh sand and seagulls that flew by in the distance, "belongs to my grandparents, not me."
Eddie squinted his eyes at you, pushing his door open as well. "It does belong to you, at least a little."
Rolling your eyes at his stubbornness, you climbed out of the car and pushed the door closed. The golden glow of the setting sun was warm against your skin, you took a moment to watch the way it blended in with the crashing waves, taking in a deep breath of the air that still tasted as fresh as you remembered it.
Eddie leaned his elbows on the roof of the car, about to ask if he should already take the bags but biting his words back when he saw you. The sunlight highlighted your profile with an orange glow and made your hair shine. Eddie could feel the air leaving his lungs and not coming back. This would be a long weekend.
You opened the trunk of your car and you and Eddie picked up all your bags. When you closed it again, you noticed the dark blue BMW parked beside you. You groaned, "shit, aunt Kathy is already here." With one hand you held onto the strap of your backpack whilst hooking your other arm with Eddie's, pulling him with you towards the front door. "Last time we were here she tried to pair me up with one of the surfers her son is friends with. He wasn't bad looking butโ€ฆ such a douche."
Beside you, Eddie hummed, subconsciously pulling your body closer to his. He took a quick glance down at his black jacket and ripped jeans. "More and more I'm kinda feeling like I won't be exactly the guy who fits in with your family, sweetheart."
You looked up at him with the ghost of a smile, watching the way his brown curls flew in front of his eyes and he tried to blow them away. "You fit in with me, that's good enough right?" The words slipped from your tongue before you had the chance to weigh them. Eddie turned his head to you, and you didn't let yourself think if the pink on his cheeks was from the sunlight or something else. "And you know, my parents adore you. They were thrilled when I told them about us." You finished quickly.
Eddie halted on his feet and pulled you along with him, his eyes comically wide. "You told your parents we're- we'reโ€ฆ"
You chuckled and avoided his eyes, adjusting your backpack over your shoulder. "Of course I did, I had to, they're here too."
"But, what happens when we go back to Hawkins?"
You hadn't thought that far yet, but you pursed your lips with a smile and urged Eddie to continue walking. "I don't know but we'll think of something until then, say it didn't work out or whatever, and we're back as just friends."
Sand got inside Eddie's sneakers as he dragged his feet toward heartbreak. The thought of you and him not working out stung.
You stopped in front of the wooden door, reaching for the handle but hesitating. "You readyโ€ฆ boyfriend?" You chanced, smile teasing but tone anxious.
Eddie gulped, his lips parted as he looked at you with the most gentle eyes. "Nah man."
You nodded. "Me neither, let's go."
The front door opened with a quiet creak, allowing you the full view of inside the house, which hasn't changed much either since last year. The walls inside were cream colored, with a very open floor plan downstairs โ€” joined kitchen and living room, that had a colorful couch and bamboo chairs for the dining table โ€” and huge glass doors that lead to the porch facing the beach and the wooden stairs that made the path down to the sand.
In the living room sat both your parents, your aunt Kathy and her husband, uncle Arthur; and your grandmother, Louise, who got up as soon as she caught sight of you and Eddie.
"Y/N darling, you're finally here."
You gave her a big smile, letting your backpack fall to the floor and letting go of Eddie โ€” who, you noticed, took half a step behind you โ€” so you could hug your grandma. "Yeah, it was a bit of a drive, but we're here."
She let go of the embrace only to cup your face, squishing your cheeks as she always did. "Oh it's been so long, you've grown so much. How are you?"
Your parents, Kathy and her husband were now standing behind Louise with smiles of their own, waiting to greet you.
You chuckled. "I'm okay grandma, really, and it's good to be back." Gently prying her hands away from you, you blindly reached a hand behind you and grabbed the sleeve of Eddie's jacket, pulling him to stand beside you. "I want you all to meet my boyfriend, Edward."
Eddie, feeling a bit self-conscious under all the eyes fixed on him, managed a tight-lipped smile and a quick wave. "Hey, you- you can call me Eddie. It's a pleasure to meet you all."
"No need for introductions darling." Kathy squeezed her way through the rest of your family and towards you. "Your mother has been telling us all about you two the whole afternoon."
"Aw shit." You mumbled under your breath, biting back a chuckle when your aunt pulled Eddie in for an unexpected hug.
She came to you next, keeping and arm around your shoulders as she said; "I'm so happy you found someone."
"Yep," you forced out a laugh, mindlessly intertwining your fingers with Eddie's, "I did."
After exchanging greetings with the rest of your family โ€” including your grandpa; and your cousin Sean who came back from the beach dragging sand everywhere and earning a scolding from his father, Arthur โ€” you found yourself alone with Eddie on the porch facing the beach, or, as alone as one could be through glass doors and a full living room.
"Aunt Jane will be arriving tomorrow morning, I think she couldn't get off early from her job today." Sitting on the wooden railing, you swing your legs back and forth. "She's a bit more easygoing than aunt Kathy." You extended a hand for Eddie to take, and when he did you pulled him closer and between your legs, letting your arms rest on his shoulders.
Eddie tensed with your touch, his brown eyes searching your face as his hands hovered just above your waist. He read your look quite quickly; 'play along'. Carefully, Eddie allowed himself to embrace your waist, praying you wouldn't hear the thundering of his heart. He kept his gaze over your shoulder and in the darkening sky above the shoreline.
You sneaked your hands up his neck and through his hair, mindlessly messing with his curls. Eddie closed his eyes momentarily, hearing the muffled voices from inside the house, the clattering of plates as they set the table for dinner, the crashing of waves, and the leaves rustling with the cold wind. He knew already, that going back from this, from having you, would be difficult.
"They like you, you know." You gently pushed away strands of hair that were in front of his eyes, watching the way his gaze lazily met yours. "I knew they would."
It was true, you heard your mother earlier, whispering quite loudly to your aunt; "always attached to the hip those two, no wonder they're together, took too long if you ask me."
And to which your aunt answered; "he's not what I expected for her, but I have to admit, they are adorable. And what a kind young man, so respectful."
"They're just being nice," Eddie mumbled, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie.
You furrowed your brows at that. "No, they're not. I know my family, they wouldn't have a problem in letting it show if they don't like someone, in one way or another, especially aunt Kathy."
Maybe you were right, maybe Eddie could belong here. But he looked away and made the bold move of resting his chin on your shoulder, almost flushing your chest to his, with his hands holding your back so you wouldn't fall; because getting attached to a fake reality would be too hard of a blow in the long run.
And you didn't say anything else, feeling your skin prickle with goosebumps where he touched you. Closing your arms around Eddie's shoulders, you realized you'd never noticed how good it felt to hold him this close. Stop it. You told yourself. He's just playing his part like you're playing yours. It doesn't change anything.
The glass doors opened with a quick motion, making you and Eddie snap your heads towards the sound. Your father peeked his head through, sporting his 'kiss the cook' apron and with a spatula in hand. "Dinner's ready, you two. Come on in."
Everyone sat together at the table, talking loudly and passing bowls of food between each other. Eddie felt overwhelmed, but in a weirdly good way, with your family talking with him as if they'd known him for years.
"Edward, tell me a little about you. How'd you meet my niece?" Kathy asked excitedly from her end of the table.
Eddie gulped down half of the orange juice in his cup, his knee going up and down as he looked up at her. "We um- we met at school, right after she moved to Hawkins." He shifted his gaze from your aunt and to you who sat beside him, lips parted with uncertainty.
When you were about to step in and say something, you noticed his eyes softening. He focused on you and let the other people around fade out. With a soft breath, Eddie continued; "she stood out from day one, I- I couldn't understand how someone as amazing as her had ended up in Hawkins, of all places. I just knew I had to meet her."
Your hands became sweaty, and you couldn't hold his gaze. His words were too genuine for a made-up scenario, so you followed his lead shamelessly; "he was my first friend there, part of me knew we'd end up together, I think. He's been an easy one to loveโ€ฆ from day one." The words grew quieter, you tilted your head and glanced at Eddie with a soft smile.
She doesn't really mean it. Eddie kept repeating inside his head, for the sake of his heart. But as you looked at him with a love that felt so true, his mantra started to become blurry.
All Eddie managed before going back to his food was a shy smile back.
Dinner went on as if nothing happened, the only one to mention how pure the young love was, was your mother.
Being tired from the long trip, everyone went to bed early tonight. You and Eddie ended up settled in your old bedroom in the house, now being generically furnished with a small bookshelf, a wardrobe, a desk, and a double bed in the middle.
You closed the bedroom door and leaned your back against it, huffing out a sigh.
Eddie, who was holding all of your bags, stood in the middle of the room. "Where should Iโ€ฆ"
"Just leave them in the corner there." You pointed to the space beside the wardrobe. It wasn't worth unpacking everything only for the two nights you'd be staying.
You pushed yourself away from the door, grazing your fingers over the dusted books on the shelf. Some of them you knew, some had been your favorites growing up. You could feel Eddie's eyes watching you. "it wasn't too bad, right? Them andโ€ฆ us?"
Shifting in his stance, Eddie took off his jacket, leaving him in only a dark red Metallica shirt. He attempted to run a hand through his hair, his fingers getting caught up in loose tangles. "Not too bad, I think we'll manage to pull off our roles just fine." Despite the sour taste the words left in his mouth, Eddie shot you a teasing grin; "I do like to have a pretty girl to call mine for a change."
The warmth on your cheeks was instant, you chuckled, "don't get ahead of yourself, Munson." You pointed a finger at him and walked to your backpack, starting to search for pajamas to keep your hands busy.
"Uh, I'm gonna take a shower, you can go after, okay?" You glanced up at Eddie through your lashes.
"Yeah, sure."
Eddie busied himself with snooping around the room until you come back. Eventually, on the bookshelf, beside the old books, he found two portraits. Eddie picked them up with care, running a thumb over the images. In one of them, you and your whole family stood on the beach, with the big white house in the background, you were younger, maybe not older than seven and the smiles on all your faces were genuine. The other portrait was a picture of only you, maybe two or three years older than on the other picture, you held a plastic shovel and had a huge smile that missed one tooth, the beach water reaching up to your waist as you played in it. Eddie found himself smiling, they looked like happy memories.
"Oh no, you've found the relics." You walked back into the room, still drying your hair with your towel.
"I was hoping I'd find some ugly baby photos of you here." Eddie raised a brow, putting down one of the framed pictures. "These aren't so bad though. You really did grow up here huh?"
"For the most part, yeah. The house was big enough, and when I was around six my parents decided it was more worth splitting the bills, back then at least. And it's nice for a kid to grow up by the beach. Their words, not mine." You draped your towel over the desk chair, ruffling your damp hair with your hands. "And it was. Nice."
"Hmm, yeah." Eddie glanced down at the picture of the younger you in his hands, momentarily wondering what it would be like to grow up in a place where happiness and love surrounded him. He then held the picture up with a teasing grin; "where did all this cuteness go though?"
Your lips parted in a 'how dare you' way and you narrowed your eyes. "Fuck you." You giggled, walking up to him and snatching the portrait from his hands, pushing him to the door. "Go take a shower, you stink."
"I do not." Eddie joined in with a chuckle of his own, smiling big with the familiar teasing.
"Two doors to your left, pretty boy. Go on." You threw a clean towel on his arms and raised a hand to mess up his hair, just the way you knew always made him pout.
Eddie walked out and into the hallway with a permanent smile attached to his lips. The easiness with which you showered him with affection made his heart skip a few beats.
Closing the bathroom door, Eddie pulled his hair in a high bun to avoid getting it wet; it was a nightmare to sleep while his hair was still damp and even he wasn't able to tame it in the morning when it happened. He had to admit, the house was a pleasant place to be in, it had a natural homey feeling to it, and your family wasn't as bad as he was picturing them to be, he'd never felt so welcomed so fast. Part of him was already dreading the feeling though, all the more reason for it to hurt in the end.
The warm water of the shower was a relief against his skin and soothed his tense muscles. But he had been working almost on autopilot since you both arrived, and now, with the water hitting the tiles being the only sound, his mind had time to catch up. It was so easy for you to take his hand and pull him to you, to flush your bodies together as if it was nothing.
"Jesus, man." Eddie breathed out, splashing water on his face and keeping his hands over his eyes for a second. He doesn't think it could ever be nothing.
When he exited the bathroom all the lights in the house had already been turned off, he kept his hand clued to the wall to guide himself as he walked.
Eddie opened the door to your room slowly, cursing under his breath when the wood creaked quite loudly. He threw his clothes from earlier into a pile on top of his bag and justโ€ฆ stood there; in the dark room, with the only light being from the moonlight coming in through the window.
You were already laying down, covers pulled up to your chin. Eddie swallowed. You'd never discussed sleeping arrangements. He picked at his fingers, worrying his lower lip with his teeth; should he just lay down beside you?
After a beat, you answered for him, apparently feeling his worry all the way from under the covers. "Just get in here, Eds."
"Right, right," Eddie mumbled and scrambled his way to the bed. He made sure to keep a good distance between you two. His hands twitched to reach out for you, but he settled on watching the outline of your back until sleep overtook him.
_____
Saturday dawned with the sun shining right on your face, you nuzzled into your pillow to hide from its light; the pillow that felt weirdly warm under you. And you hugged the covers closer to yourself, except they definitely didn't feel like covers.
With your eyes still closed you scrunched your eyebrows, and when you felt your body being squeezed, you finally peered them open. Somehow during the night, you and Eddie apparently bundled together in the middle of the bed. Your body was almost fully on top of his, with your head resting on his chest and arms loosely around his waist. And Eddie had his nose pressed to the top of your head, snoring softly, his arms snuggly around you.
For this early in the morning, your heart definitely shouldn't be beating this fast. Yet his body was so goddamn warm and soft under you that you wondered if it was too selfish to allow yourself at least five minutes of this bliss. Waking up cuddled together without knowing where your limbs started and his ended could be excused for the sake of fake dating, right?
It was dangerous, you knew that, you felt it in the way Eddie mumbled something in his sleep and subconsciously tightened his arms around you; it was the one thing you tried to suppress the hell off when his warm brown eyes made your stomach fill with an annoying flutter of butterflies. But in the seclusion of the bedroom, under the first lights of sunrise, the worry felt insignificant.
Until you heard the clatter of plates and the muffled voices from downstairs; seagulls singing on the beach announcing the start of the day.
You gently ran a hand over the faded Dio print on Eddie's shirt, before trying to push yourself up and away from him. Try being the keyword, because his grip on you didn't budge in the slightest.
"Shit." You mumbled under your breath as you were squeezed back against his chest. You were hoping to separate your body from his before he woke up and noticed what happened. Apparently not.
You cleared your throat, turned your head up to look at him, and called quietly; "Eddie."
Nothing.
"Eddie, come on." A little louder.
Nothing.
"Ugh, dude." You grumbled. "Eddie! Wake up!"
His eyes shot open with a start and landed on you instantly, his hands gripped onto you before he let go completely as if you'd burned him. "Shit, shit, shit." He was all stiff limbs and warm cheeks because he'd just woken up with you in his arms, and it wasn't fair how pretty you were this up close.
"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- christ, I'm sorry."
Eddie's rasp morning voice sent a shudder down your back. You finally moved away from him and to your own pillow. "It's alright, don't worry, it was my fault too," your mouth hovered open, you shifted your gaze, "I just needed to get up andโ€ฆ Yeah."
The tip of Eddie's fingers โ€” his whole body, really โ€” was still prickling from having you so close. He missed the contact immediately. "Sorry." He said one more time for good measure.
You waved off his worry as if it was nothing, getting up from the bed and making your way to the bathroom to freshen up. Except it definitely wasn't nothing.
When you walked back to the bedroom, Eddie was already dressed up in dark grey sweatpants and a red flannel shirt. He turned to you when he heard the door open, and you had to stifle a laugh because his hair was all over the place. The sunlight coming from the window made the wild strands shine and look golden.
"Jesus Eddie, you're not going downstairs like this, sit." You told him with a smile, pointing at the bed.
He chuckled, one hand automatically going up to his hair. "What, you don't like it?"
"You know I do, but," you mindlessly reached for his hand and sat him down on the mattress as you stood in front of him, "just let me tidy it up a bit."
"And ruin my metal look?" Eddie clasped a hand over his chest.
"Drama, drama," you mumbled, running your fingers over his fringe and then the soft strands that framed his face.
Eddie closed his eyes, his shoulders relaxing. Slowly, his forehead dropped to rest against your abdomen as you worked your hands through the curls on his head.
It went unsaid just how much Eddie loved when you'd mess with his hair, it was a secret you kept close to your heart. And if you kept massaging his scalp for a minute longer after you were done, no one needed to know.
You walked down the stairs with Eddie behind you, your family was in the kitchen, starting to prepare breakfast, and you got down just in time to see your aunt Jane arriving. Stripes of sunlight were coming in through the windows and glass doors, bathing the wood in golden as a soft breeze came from the shoreline.
"Aunt Jane!" You called with a smile, skipping down the last steps of the stairs and pulling the older woman into a hug.
"Y/N, it's so nice to see you again." Jane pulled away, her hands still gripping your arms as she looked you up and down with a fond smile.
"Auntie, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Eddie." You said excitedly, turning to Eddie, who stood by the stairs, and making grabby hands at him.
"Boyfriend huh?" A new voice mocked.
Samantha, Jane's daughter, walked through the front door. Glossed lips pulled in a devilish smile and manicured hands held onto her purse and her boyfriend's fingers, who stepped in behind her. Much different from her mother, she wasn't the most pleasant person to have around โ€” the tension between you and her was innocent, for the most part, coming from years ago ever since she used to steal your toys and go cry to her mother when you snatched them back.
You tugged Eddie to your side, intertwining your fingers with his with a proud tilt to your head. "Yeah, all mine." You raised a brow and felt the way Eddie's eyes snapped to you. "Hi Samantha, made a lot of children cry on the way here?"
"And I thought you wanted to be the lonely cat lady of the family." Samantha chuckled, earning a stern gaze from her mother.
Suddenly, your own mother materialized beside you and pinched your side, mumbling a "behave" to you through the gritted teeth of her overly sweet smile. She always advocated for peace in family gatherings. You couldn't blame her.
"It's uh- a pleasure to meet you." Eddie cut through the light tension, not knowing what else to say. But apparently, it was the right thing, because you and Samantha shared only one last glare before you were pulling him towards the kitchen.
"What was that about?" Eddie asked โ€” close to your ear in a whisper that made the hairs on your neck stand up โ€” when you stood side by side in front of the kitchen table.
You took in a breath, picking up four slices of bread to make sandwiches for you and Eddie. It was muscle memory to make them; butter, ham, and cheese for you, and only ham and cheese for Eddie. "We don't exactly get along. She's a stuck-up princess who likes to pick on me." You shot him a quick grin. "That's family for ya. Could you get us some coffee?"
Eddie chuckled, softly shaking his head. "Sure." He mumbled and leaned down to give your forehead a kiss before making his way to the counter near the sink, where the coffee machine was.
He poured two cups, one black and the otherโ€ฆ Eddie looked around him, searching for the milk. Kathy stood only a little far from him, leaning on the isle and drinking from her own mug, talking to Louise about something regarding a paint job for the house.
Eddie raised a hand to the back of his neck, feeling self-conscious about talking to your family on his own. But before he could make a fool of himself, someone appeared beside him.
"Here you go, son." Your grandfather, Christopher, Eddie believed his name was, handed him the milk with a kind smile. "I gather that's what you're looking for."
With a sheepish smile, Eddie took the milk and thanked the man profusely, feeling his chest blowing up with warmth for the kindness.
He poured the exact amount you always did for your coffee and walked back to the table, taking his seat beside yours.
You turned to Eddie and gave his hand a quick squeeze as a thank you, setting his sandwich on a plate in front of him.
"Look who decided to show up." Arthur walked in through the porch doors, flip-flops covered in sand in his hands. He gave Jane a side hug with a smile.
She raised a hand in mock surrender. "I know, I know, should've been here yesterday. But I couldn't get off work and Sam was at a birthday party." She explained, throwing all her bags on the couch except for one. "But," out of the plastic bag in her hands, she carefully pulled out a tray, "I come bearing gifts."
Your face lit up with a smile upon seeing the neatly made cake, the recipe was Jane's specialty and your favorite.
"You are totally forgiven." Your father, who had been making himself waffles, ditched the food and made a beeline for Jane's baked sweets, already trying to take a piece and earning himself a soft tap on the shoulder from your grandmother as she looked at him disapprovingly.
Eddie chuckled beside you, and you turned to him with a smile of your own. "I absolutely love this cake she makes, you'll have to try it."
"If you say it's good, then I trust ya." Eddie took a bite of his sandwich, bread crumbs sticking to his adorable smile.
Breakfast went as it always did in the beach house, everyone sitting at the table and talking loudly about three things at once, passing food and drinks between each other, and making plans for the day.
One detail diverged, however. Samantha seemed to take an interest in Eddie's life, asking questions about what he did and what he liked, looking at him with a certain hunger that made you clench your fork to the point the metal was almost piercing your skin.
Fake or not, for this weekend Eddie was yours. And the jealousy that blossomed in your chest when Samantha reached out to tap his forearm almost made you haul yourself over the table to squeeze her throat.
After breakfast you decided to finally head to the beach, the air outside was chilly, but the sun was out as well, making the day perfect for a walk on the warm sand. You talked Eddie into borrowing your father's flip-flops and walked hand in hand with him down the wooden stairway. The steps creaked under your weight, they lead you all the way from the porch, down the slight hill, and finally to the beach. Near the house there were a few grass patches amidst the sand, along with a thin wooden fence, that had already crumbled in a few spots, leading you near the water.
The beach was mostly empty at this time of year, save for a few passersby and ambitious surfers.
Your fingers were loosely hooked with Eddie's, he was swinging your joined hands back and forth, his eyes stealing glances down at the way his feet buried in the thin sand as you walked.
You, on the other hand, were stealing glances at him. At the way he sometimes stumbled on the uneven ground, at the way his hair flew wildly with the coastal wind, at how the sun kissed his skin the same way you caught yourself wishing to, and at how he looked like he belonged here; with you and with the glistening water framing his profile.
You two ended up making your way to a local bar, the only one near the house. It wasn't big, but it made up for its size in the way it was built. The place had no walls, allowing everyone a full view of the crashing waves just ahead. A few tables were scattered underneath the roof and in the back stood the little booth that served the drinks and a few snacks, everything smartly decorated with the coastal theme.
"You want something to drink?" Eddie asked as you leaned against one of the pillars. His cheeks and nose were starting to take on a red blush because of the sun.
"Yeah I think so, we can drink while walking back." You smiled, absentmindedly running your thumb over his knuckles.
Chatter coming from one of the tables caught both yours and Eddie's attention, you turned around to see Sean, your cousin, talking loudly to some of his friends.
Eddie turned back to you and somehow his cheeks had gotten even redder, he mumbled an "okay", before leaning in and planting a tender kiss on your forehead. He made his way to the bar, fidgeting with the wallet in his hands, not bothering to ask about your favorite drinks; he knew it by memory.
You realized then that you weren't wrong, Eddie made for a great boyfriend.
"Y/N? Is that you?" An excited voice called for your attention.
You turned around and were met with the sight of Duncan, one of Sean's friends who just so happened to also be the boy your aunt tried to set you up with. He trudged his way towards you, sporting a long sleeve white shirt and shorts; and save for the shirt, he was soaked, causing the sand to cling to his skin and his blond hair to stick to his forehead and neck. You wondered if he was immune to the chilly wind.
"Hey, yeah it's- it's me." You raised your hand in an awkward wave, sparing him a tiny smile as he stopped a bit too close for comfort.
"I was hoping I'd catch you around, been a while since you've come here." He leaned a hand against the pillar behind you, causing you to take half a step to the side.
You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your pants, shrugging your shoulders. "Yeah, I usually don't come here more than once a year. Just for the family trip and all."
"Well I must say then, you've only gotten prettier since last year." Duncan smirked, leaning in towards you so he could speak in a lower tone; "you should definitely drop by more often."
You looked aside to take a breath, already growing annoyed. "I don't think that's likely, it's a long trip and I can't afford to leave work much often."
Duncan nodded slowly, "I could keep you busy here too if you'd like. What do you say we try again? Wanna go out tonight?" He was about to raise a hand to touch your cheek but halted in his movements.
"Got you your favorite, sweetheart." Eddie's voice washed over you like a fluffy blanket on a cold day. He was quick to swing an arm around your shoulders, squeezing gently and pulling your body flush to his.
The warmth was welcoming, undeniably comfortable and you were baffled by how safe he made you feel. You leaned into him, sneaking your own arm around his waist until you reached the pocket of his sweatpants by his hip.
"Thank you, Eds." You said quietly, not necessarily for the drink but reaching out for it anyway. Standing on your toes, you planted a kiss on his jaw.
"Hey dude," Eddie raised his chin towards Duncan, "I'm Eddie, her boyfriend." He made sure to accentuate the words, causing you to suppress a chuckle.
Shuffling on his feet, Duncan backed away from you. "Right, nice to meet you, man." He nodded awkwardly and turned to you, "I'll head back to Sean, see you around Y/N."
You waved him goodbye with a tight-lipped smile. When the blond was out of earshot, you let out a relieved sigh, leaning your head back into Eddie's arm. "Thank you for the save, really."
Eddie chuckled, taking a sip of his beer and pulling you along towards the shore and away from the bar; his arm steady around your shoulders. "No one's allowed to make the moves on my girl, even if she's fake."
You bumped your hip into him, laughing along, both your feet kicking the warm sand. "Told you you'd make a good boyfriend."
The walk back to the house was pleasant, you drank and talked with Eddie with the same easiness he always made you feel. Once the cans were empty and discarded, you and Eddie spotted a crab โ€” who hid in its hole as soon as you approached โ€” and then began the match of who could spot more crabs. Both of you ended up with the ends of your pants soaked, only thinking of rolling them up when the damage was already done.
But you couldn't care, because the sun was shining and the waves were crashing to shore. And you were both running like little kids, burying your feet in the sand and splashing water into each other. And you thought of Eddie's saying about pictures and moments, because you wanted today to last forever.
When your family's house came into sight, you were walking with your flip-flops in hand, lazily moving your feet under the water when the waves reached you.
Eddie followed beside you, avoiding most of the waves. There was a soft tilt to his lips, a permanent smile because he was happy. You made him so unbelievably happy, and as you looked at him then, meeting his eyes that were already on you; with the sun shining behind you and glistening onto the water, making you look heaven-sent โ€” just like that, hair all over the place, skin flushed and clothes in a mess of sand and water โ€” Eddie was not surprised to feel as if he was in a daze, in the most addicting high.
You extended a hand to him, fingers stretching to reach him. He did the same, his fingertips grazing yours, feet just out of reach from the waves; knowing he'd never risk his feelings getting in the way of this.
Five more minutes of walking and you were in front of your house, you stopped, feeling the waves crash to your ankles and bury your toes with wet sand. Eddie stood in front of you, with one hand trying to block the sun shining on his face and the other in his pants pocket. The tip of his nose and the outline of his lips were red from the sun. You wanted to kiss him.
Your gaze shifted from him and up to the porch of the house, you saw the outline of two people whispering in each other's ears, no doubt Samantha and her boyfriend talking shit about you. You knew she was doubting your relationship, or, you felt like she was; and the way her gaze kept searching for Eddie earlier really made your blood boil. So maybe it was a little bit possessive of you, but two birds one stone, you thought, and took the bold move.
You walked up to Eddie, not giving him much time to process what was happening before burying one hand in his hair and pulling his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, testing the waters. Until you felt Eddie tentatively place his hands on your waist, bringing your bodies together as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. His nose bumped yours, his lips much softer than you imagined.
Pulling back slowly, you breathed air back into your lungs. Eddie was looking at you with those chocolate eyes of his, his lips parted and so inviting, his hands warm on your waist but still making you shiver. He was suddenly too close, the air too hot.
You separated your bodies, instantly mumbling an apology and; "we kind of had an audience." You pointedly shifted your gaze to the porch and the two people watching.
Eddie could only nod, the air still stuck in a lump on his throat because holy shit; you kissed him.
You squeezed his hand as you walked past him and towards the house. And Eddie stood there for a minute, his lips tingling with the remains of your taste, tears prickling the back of his eyes because for a second, for a fleeting moment where the world faded and all he could feel was you; it felt real.
Something shifted between you and Eddie after the kiss. Each touch felt heavier, each stare lasted longer. You wondered if there was a way back from the lines you were crossing in your friendship. You wondered if you wanted a way back. If you were still pretending at all.
Eddie stayed back at the house when you, Jane, and your mother left to go to the market โ€” you kissed him goodbye before leaving, just a touch of lips that barely lasted a second, but already made your knees go weak โ€” they wanted to grab a movie to watch tonight and you convinced them into picking The Shining, wanting to choose something Eddie would like.
As dusk settled over the beach, popcorn was made and a spare mattress was laid in front of the TV so the living room could accommodate everyone. You, Eddie, and your grandparents took the bigger couch, your parents and Jane took the smaller one, and Kathy, her husband, and your cousins were sitting on the mattress. All the lights on the house were off with only the TV on and you were starting to regret your choice of movie.
Eddie handed you the popcorn bowl, the scenes on the TV casting light over his eyes and making them shine. "Was it your mom who chose the movie?" He asked quietly, only for you to hear.
You squirmed beside him, tucking your knees closer to your chest, feeling a pit of anxiety in your stomach as the movie went on. "It was me." You mumbled back.
"You?" Eddie raised an amused eyebrow. "You hate these movies."
"Yeahโ€ฆ"
"Why would you-"
"I wanted to pick something you'd like, okay? Sue me." You interrupted him, avoiding his eyes and handing the popcorn bowl to your cousin Sean.
Eddie kept his gaze on you, the movie turning into background noise. You were making it really hard for him to not love you more than he should. His lips quirked up, watching the way your nose and cheekbones were highlighted by the TV. Eddie wanted to kiss you again so bad.
"You're something else, sweetheart." He said more to himself than to you, and brought an arm around your shoulders, squeezing your body against his.
You briefly closed your eyes when you felt Eddie maneuvering your body to his. You tucked yourself comfortably beside him, nuzzling your head on his shoulder.
When the movie finally came to an end, you were basically dozing off on top of Eddie. Your head on the crook of his neck and an arm sprawled across his lap, while he lazily played with your fingers.
When Kathy turned off the TV, Eddie looked down to see Sean drooling on the mattress and Samantha trying to wake up her boyfriend; Eddie stifled a laugh at that. Your grandparents had already excused themselves to bed, and Jane and your mother were in the kitchen tucking away the dishes from earlier. The house was silent and dark, save for the clattering of plates and the single light near the sink. Not even two days had gone by and he already felt like part of the family.
Eddie's lips grazed your hairline as he tried to look at you. Your breathing was starting to even out and your eyes were closed, most of your weight now laying on Eddie.
He was about to wake you up when the voice of your mother called out to him; "Eddie dear, can you come to help me out for a moment?"
"On my way." He glanced over the back of the couch and answered quietly enough to not wake you. With overly careful movements, Eddie separated his body from yours, managing to lay you down on the couch gently.
"Just put these up there for me would you?" Your mother instructed as he reached her, handing him the stack of porcelain plates and pointing to one of the higher cabinets above the sink.
Eddie did so with a smile, earning him a squeeze on the forearm from your mother and a warm smile of her own as she made her way upstairs.
"It's Edward, right?" Jane leaned back on one of the counters, dish rag in hand.
Eddie turned to her, fidgeting with his rings. "You can call me Eddie."
"Eddie, I just wanted to say, I'm happy for you two." She told him genuinely, and when Eddie frowned, she clarified; "you and Y/N."
"Oh," he felt his face warm up, "uh- thank you."
The older woman chuckled, she had fondness on her eyes as she stared out the window, listening to the waves crashing to shore. "What I mean is, she looks happy with you."
The words made Eddie's heartbeat skyrocket, hearing it from someone else made it feel real. And to hear he made you happy brought goosebumps to his skin.
"The last two years, ever since they moved away, she hasn't been the same. She was quiet, withdrawn, you know. Moving to a new town, and even more so far away from the place you were born, sometimes is hard." Jane explained with a faraway look in her eyes. "This year is the first time that I feel like she is really here, back with us. She looks happy. And I feel like a lot of it has to do with you. I'm glad she found you."
Eddie's words were stuck to his throat, he tugged at the ends of his shirt, taking in everything she said. He'd never been a part of someone's happiness. It felt good. It made his eyes glisten and vision blur. "I- all I want is to see her happy." The words tumbled out before he could think them through.
Jane pushed away from the counter, smiling at him. She landed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed before going upstairs as well.
For a few minutes, Eddie was glued to that same spot in the kitchen. He raked a hand through his hair, pushing back his fringe and making some strands stick up.
After gathering some semblance of composure, he walked back to the couch and crouched down to be at eye level with you.
Your cheek was pressed to the couch and one of your arms hung loosely from the edge, your fingertips grazing the wooden floor. Eddie deeply wanted to have his camera with him.
Raising a hand to poke your cheek, Eddie woke you up.
"Hmm no." You grumbled, opening your eyes to peer at him with a disapproving look before burying your head on the couch with a grunt.
"Come on, sleepy head. Let's get you to bed." Eddie was having none of your poutings, he easily put his hands under your arms and lifted you up to a sitting position.
You unenthusiastically slapped his hands away, trying to run your fingers through your mess of hair. "Ugh, you're mean, y'know." Eventually, you got up and started to walk up the stairs to sleep properly on the bed.
"Shut it," Eddie argued back with a smirk, walking closely behind you in case you'd stumble, "you love me."
You sighed, reaching for the doorknob of your room. "You know me too well." You thanked the heavens that you'd both showered earlier because you'd definitely be sleeping without it if you hadn't.
Unceremoniously, you threw yourself on the bed. Eddie followed soon after turning the lights off.
Shuffling under the covers, your hand found grip around Eddie's shirt. "Come here." You mumbled. And you would be blaming all of it on your sleepy brain in the morning, but right now you were tired, and Eddie was warm and comfortable.
"Hm?"
"Just come here, Eds."
"O-okay okay, coming." Praying for you to not feel his thundering heart under your hand, Eddie hugged you close, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder again.
Eddie's lips parted with shaky breaths. The hand he had around your waist grazed a patch of skin, courtesy of your pushed-up shirt. He shivered. This felt way too intimate.
But you were relaxed, one arm draped over his abdomen as if you'd done this countless times.
Eddie closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel it too, nuzzling his nose into your hair and tracing random patterns over your stretched arm.
"You know, they can be a bit much sometimes butโ€ฆ but I like your family." He said quietly, not above a whisper in case you were already sleeping.
"They like you." You told him, voice wobbly, slipping in and out of consciousness.
Several beats passed, and your breathing evened again. Moonlight bathed the room, and Eddie's eyes had already adjusted to the darkness.
"Maybe we could try this for real sometime." He whispered, quieter than before. A plea thrown in the open for no one to hear anymore.
Tomorrow would be your last day here. Tomorrow you'd be going back to Hawkins.
_____
Sunday was a quiet day in the beach house. You woke up the same way as the day before, with you and Eddie in a mess of tangled limbs.
You knew Eddie had woken up before you, being able to feel his fingers absentmindedly messing with strands of your hair as your eyes opened for the first time in the morning. You didn't say anything as you snuggled up closer to him, and he didn't say anything as his arms tightened around you.
Part of you knew you'd have to talk about it, eventually. Because you'd be going home later today. And an even bigger part of you was dreading the talk; the one that would end whatever it was that happened in the last days.
Sunday was a day for relaxing, always has been. Everyone knew it was the last day in the house, everyone already woke up with the bitter taste of goodbye on their tongues.
But you enjoyed the day until the last minute;
Before breakfast, when Kathy and her husband asked if you'd like to accompany them to the nearby market. You enjoyed walking the familiar streets with Eddie's fingers loosely intertwined with yours, telling him a few stories of when you were growing up here.
During breakfast, with everyone sitting together at the table, already making plans for next year's gathering.
And when, as it also could be considered tradition, the whole family went for a walk on the beach. Feet burying in the sand and splashing the water of the waves.
You basked in the utopian feeling of sitting together on the porch, watching as the sun started to descend over the water ahead, painting the sky orange and pink, turning the waves golden. And Eddie was always there, with you, and it felt so right for him to be there.
Your parents had already left about an hour ago, having work early tomorrow morning and with the drive not being a fast one, they didn't want to arrive in Hawkins too late.
Seagulls were flying by, their singing mixing with the crashing of waves on the shore. And the sun was only getting lower.
You sat on the railings of the porch with Eddie in your arms, standing between your knees. It reminded you of your first night here, just two days ago, and yet it felt like so much had changed. Eddie was talking with Sean, one of his hands was around your waist and the other moved around enthusiastically as he said something about DnD.
There was no telling how things would be once you were back in Hawkins, once the whole couple facade was broken. Anxiety was hot in the pit of your stomach, all because of the grave you dug for yourself. How naive, to think you'd be okay after having a taste of what it would be like to call Eddie yours and then having to let him go.
Twirling a curl of his hair on your fingers, you took a last glance over the beach. You only noticed the bouncing of your knee when Eddie laid a hand on top of it, calming down the movement.
Sean was long gone, and from the look on Eddie's eyes, he has been watching your profile for a while. "You okay?" He frowned.
You pursed your lips. Suddenly, you felt like crying. "Yeah, fine." You swallowed once, then took in a breath. "Weโ€ฆ we have to go, Eddie. Or we'll get home too late."
Eddie's lips parted, he had words on the tip of his tongue that he bit back, instead settling for; "yeah, you're right."
He helped you down, his hand gently holding onto yours, and with that, you intertwined your fingers with his one last time.
Ever since you moved to Hawkins, today just might be the day where it hurt the most to throw your bags in the trunk of the car to leave the beach house, you weren't expecting to have enjoyed the trip so much.
You bid your family goodbye with a tight hug to each of them, laughing as your grandmother squished Eddie's cheeks and told him how much of a good boy he was. And just like that, you were on the road again.
The car's engine rumbled to life, Eddie turned it around in the driveway and towards the street. You kept your eyes on the rearview mirror, watching as the white wooded house got smaller and smaller in front of the setting sun, the hands of your grandparents happily waving goodbye.
Rolling down your window, you allowed the coastal air to fill your nostrils, extending an arm out the window to feel the wind. You tipped your head back against the seat, closing your eyes.
Unbeknownst to you, Eddie switched his gaze between you and the road ahead. His eyes followed the line of your eyebrows and the curve of your lips, with the passing shoreline as background. Part of him wanted to ask what happens now? But the moment felt too delicate to be broken. He turned on the radio instead.
Around the halfway point of driving back, you and Eddie decided to stop at a gas station to pick up some snacks and fill the gas tank. It was dark already, insects were gathering under the artificial lights of the gas station. Only two other cars were there, from people with rather tired looks on their faces, โ€” Eddie noticed, as he walked side by side with you to the convenience store โ€” travelers too, no doubt.
There was a stray dog there, caramel in its color, who came to both of you with its tail wagging. You kneeled to pet him and Eddie followed suit; it was all casualty and routine, none of you mentioning the huge elephant in the room.
Inside, you went rummaging through the bags of chips whilst Eddie scanned the freezers for the drinks.
When he had both soda cans in hand, Eddie made his way to you. Without so much of a warning, he slung an arm around your shoulders, pressing the ghost of a kiss to your hairline in a moment of heart overtaking brain, before saying; "found that one you were telling me to try out, let's see if it's any good." He wiggled the can in his hand.
The bag of chips on your hands nearly popped open with the way you squeezed it, a shiver running down your spine with Eddie's affection. Your words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. "Uh we're not at the house anymore, Eddie, there's no need to pretend here." You forced out a chuckle, if anything, to try and cut through the tension looming around you.
Eddie had never pulled himself away from you so quickly. He gulped, his eyes looking anywhere but you as he shifted his stance. "Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I- I forgot." He grimaced, shaking his head.
"It's alright. No biggie." You mumbled back, hating yourself for making it weird. It was never supposed to be like that, Eddie has always been affectionate, even before this whole ordeal, why did it suddenly feel likeโ€ฆ everything had more meaning?
You made a beeline for the bored cashier, desperate to have something take your mind off of the situation.
The cold from the soda cans on Eddie's hands was starting to pierce his skin and make it sting. He watched your quick steps away from him, watched how you took a piece of his heart with you and made the remaining one inside his chest bleed.
You and Eddie walked back to the car in silence, each one holding a bag. Only as you were about to open the passenger's door, that Eddie extended a hand to graze the skin on your wrist, it was enough to hold you in place and get you to reluctantly turn to him.
Eddie licked his lips, fumbling with his rings in anticipation. "Look, I'm- I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable these last days. It was never my intention, I promise, I wouldn't-"
"Eddie no, you-" you stopped him, because the way his chocolate eyes were glistening under the street lights made your throat feel tight. Boundaries be damned, you thought to yourself, it's not like we haven't gone way past them already. You took his hands on yours, brushing his knuckles softly. "You could never make me uncomfortable, okay? Never. I'm justโ€ฆ a bit bummed that we're leaving, that's all."
In a haste, you brought one of his hands to your lips, planting a tender kiss on his fingers and mumbling; "don't worry." You managed a reassuring smile before getting into the car. A smile that Eddie saw right through.
It was already late at night when you arrived at Forest Hills Trailer Park. Eddie parked your car a little far from his trailer, you didn't comment on it.
The night sky was gloomy, several clouds hiding the stars. There seemed to be some kind of gathering happening on one of the other trailers, you could hear excited voices and music flowing through the air.
Gravel crushed under your feet as you exited the car, ready to help Eddie take his bags inside; but he didn't let you, he jogged his way around the front of the car and to you.
"Y/N, can weโ€ฆ talk?" He half extended a hand towards you, giving you the chance to let him in or push him away.
Seconds felt like hours as you stared at his outstretched hand, until you finally took it, fingers lazily hooking together, the folds on your skin fitting with his. Eddie pushed himself up on the hood of your car, sitting there and pulling you between his legs, close enough that you had to lay your hands on his waist. A smile tugged at your lips at the familiarity.
You avoided his eyes though, keeping your gaze on the belt loops of his pants you were playing with.
With a gentleness most people wouldn't believe he was capable of if you told them, Eddie traced the outline of your jaw, urging you to meet his eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart? You've been quiet ever since we left the beach house."
You bit onto the inside of your cheek until you tasted iron, the beginning of tears pooling on the bottom lid of your eyes. "I'm sorry, Eddie. I- I never should've asked you to do it." You choked out.
He frowned at your words, the hand he had on your waist pulled you closer in an attempt of comfort.
"Going there, with meโ€ฆ" You elaborated. "I feel likeโ€ฆ it might have been a mistake."
Eddie gulped, his lips pulling thin to stop their trembling. "A mistake?"
"Last thing I wanted was for this whole fake dating thing to get in the way of our friendship." You brushed the sleeve of your hoodie under your nose, sniffing to hold back your tears.
Chances were; you were feeling awkward about being around Eddie now, or โ€” and he took a leap of faith in even allowing his brain to conjure up the thought โ€” he might just be lucky enough that you feel the same way he does.
Holding tight to every last bit of courage inside him, Eddie took a deep breath, pushing strands of hair behind your ear; "were weโ€ฆ ever faking it?" His voice came out much quieter than he intended. "Or- or did I just imagine what we had? Because it felt real sometimes."
The last of his words came out in a breath, big brown eyes tearing up under the cheap lighting of the trailer park the same way yours was, looking at you with blown pupils; and at that moment, you realized there would never be a reality in which you wouldn't fall for him.
Your silence made Eddie's hands fidget with your hoodie. He squirmed in his seat, heart in his throat. "Because, I think I'd like it to be real."
The air in your lungs left you in a breath that didn't come back, and you were glad Eddie was holding you because your legs just about turned to jelly. "You serious?"
Eddie chuckled, a fond smile on his lips. "To be totally real with you, I wasn't faking any of it."
You tugged at the collar of his jacket, moving closer and leaning your forehead to his. You smiled when Eddie nuzzled your nose with his. "Neither was I."
Eddie's cheeks hurt with how big his smile got, his eyes crinkling on the sides. "Then, I'm guessing we won't have to tell your parents we're breaking up?"
Pulling away with a smile of your own, you lifted a brow. "That's what you're focusing on?" A stray tear dropped from your eye, now more in happiness than anything else.
Eddie brushed it away with his thumb in a gentle touch, pulling you in to lay a kiss on your forehead. He was buzzing with happiness, his heart light with joy and affection. He closed his eyes for only a second, lips still grazing your skin, to take in the feeling of finally, truly having you.
He pulled away but kept his hold on you, a boyish grin on his face. "Oh and, you know, the fact that maybe I can call you my girl for real from now on? No biggie."
You gripped his thighs and tilted your head with a grin, leaning your body closer to his. "You may."
Eddie didn't waste a second in pulling you in for a kiss, he was all passion and neediness, with a tight grip on you as if you'd go away if he let go.
The metal of your car was cold against you as you leaned a hand on it, the other going up to Eddie's head and burying itself in his curls. His lips were soft, tender, and perfect. It tasted different, kissing him for real.
A kiss that was soon broken by shared giggles, by the way Eddie hugged your body to his and gently swayed you both from side to side.
You wouldn't have to fake break up with him after all; and who knows, maybe next year, when you both drive down to the beach house as a real couple, this can be a funny story to tell over dinner.
โ‹†*ย โ˜พ โ‹†*๏ฝฅ๏พŸ:โ‹†*๏ฝฅ๏พŸ
Thank you for reading this story. This one also took me weeks of writing, rewriting, and editing, so feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated so I can keep bringing you these stories.ย <3
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Belly Dancer - 1
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Belly Dancer - 1
Harry sat next to Michael on the leather couch with four girls now all around them, Michael was his right hand and his best friend. They are there for each other, in the happinesses and sorrows. They were friends since the day they first met when they only were thirteen years old.
And for that reason, when Michael noticed that Harry was burnt out from all the work he has to go through every day, same routine, same shit, he thought that it would be a good idea for them to see something different. Michael has heard of you through some friends that were like 'wtf did we just watch?' and couldn't shut up about how good you were on that stage. And, knowing Harry, he knew that he would be very pleased to see a different kind of woman.
A woman he will never something like her.
A girl put her around Harry and started mumbling something sexy in his ear, but he ignored her and kept drinking from his glass and huffed.
"Why the long face, H? I told you to leave this fucking attitude out." Michael scoffed, drinking from his cup.
"I am okay, Mike." Harry says.
"No shit? You sure look like it." Michael commented sarcastically.
"What do you want from me now? Want me to put a fucking smile on my face?"
"Yes, please."
"I don't know what I should do with the upcoming deal with the Italians."
"Leave it, H. Not now, we're here to have fun and you look like an ungrateful kid." Michael said, he was sick of Harry and his attitude. He knows that Harry has a lot on his shoulders, but he doesn't seem to know how to let go.
"You know what? Fuck you! I'm out." Harry says angrily and stands up and just like that like it was a cue or something, music blasted through speakers.
Weird music to his ears. He has never heard something like that before, but he didn't care at that moment. Until he head an announcement through the speakers, "The moment you've all been waiting for. Y/N!"
Michael grabbed Harry from his arm and dragged him to the glass wall that showed the stage. Harry took away his arm from his friend and stopped in his tracks.
A woman.
A woman in tanned skin and long hair stood on the stage down there, with golden abaya that showed off her beautiful legs, cleavage, and of course her belly. She had some glitter all over her body. She had a golden anklet. That woman wore a short scarf on her head that only covered a part of her hair.
She swayed her belly up and down in total excitement with such expertise. She used her hair as a tool just like that long cane in her hand that she used to dance with. What really blew him away was when she pulled her back down while standing and held the cane with one hand playing with it all over her body without it touching her.
He has never seen something like that before. He has never loved something so different like that. Her hair made him want to pull on it while fucking her. He wanted to know how she could sway and pop her waist and belly on his dick.
A girl comes next to Harry and whispers, "I could do that, too."
He ignored her and kept his eyes on the girl before him, not leaving his eyes off of her even for a second.
When you were done, you were already used to the hard applause, you returned back to your room at the back. Your assistant got you your mantle and covered you.
You sat on your chair in front of the wide mirror and began cleaning off your makeup after taking off some of the bling you had on your face. Your assistant, Angela, says, "You were amazing today, y/n."
You smile to her and say, "Thank you so much, honey. We need to get ready for our last performance in about another half hour. Can you get me my next suit, please? This abaya is not so comfortable."
"You're gonna wear it now? Isn't it too early?" She asks but does what she's told anyways.
"No, it isn't. I like putting makeup on after wearing my suit, so my makeup doesn't stain my suits." You answer her, drinking water from your bottle.
"Fair enough." Just when she finishes her sentence, you hear a knock on your door.
"Who is it?" She asks before opening the door slightly so whoever outside can't see you.
"Oh yeah of course." You hear her say and opens the door.
Your eyes are still fixed on yourself in the mirror, until you see in it a tall man with beautiful green eyes standing at your door. His eyes also are fixed on you. You turn your head around and look at him, asking in a flat tone, "What?"
"I am Harry. Harry Styles." He says not looking away.
"Okay? I don't do selfies so get out of here." You turn your head again and continue to take off your makeup.
"I'm not here for a selfie. I'm here to tell you that we want an exclusive dance in the VIP lounge." He says, confidently.
"Usually, Sean is the one to tell me that." Sean is the manager of the club, so that doesn't make sense that Harry is the one to tell you that.
"He knows, but I asked him to let me be the one to tell you that." He says like he orders you.
"Well then, no one can say no to work. But, I want Sean to ask me, not some one I don't know." You say, you were really bothered by his smirk that he had all the time he was talking to you so you thought you should be as annoying as he is.
"And what if he doesn't?" He asks with a wider smirk.
You turn your head and raise a brow, "Then no."
"You sure are a tough one." He comments so you stand up and close the door in his face with a bang enough for Angela to jump.
You wear your next suit, not thinking of that bastard anymore until you hear another knock on the door. You huff and tell Angela, "If he is the same fucker tell him to go find someone to fuck him."
But that was Sean, an old man with grey hair and blue eyes. He comes inside and says to you, "Y/N, we want you to skip the second performance to the public and keep it in the VIP lounge for today."
"Sure," You smile at him, "That fucker will be there?"
He giggles and says, "Don't say that as you don't know who he is."
"I don't care, Sean. You shouldn't have let him come in here, we've talked about this. No one is allowed here."
"I know, but we can't say no to him."
"And why is that?"
"Because he's Harry Freaking Styles. He's one of the most powerful men in the whole country so it's not so easy to tell him go fuck yourself without getting a bullet in your head."
"Whatever. I'll be up there in 10 minutes."
You weren't afraid, you are not afraid. You have spent your life afraid of everything and since you took your first step in this country you've swore to god that you'll never let fear in your heart ever again. You knew that Harry was handsome and hot that's for sure, but you weren't going to suck his balls just because he's handsome. If anything, he should be the one sucking yours, if you had any.
You stood right outside the VIP lounge and asked the guy in charge of it to stop the lights until you go in. That was something you asked for every time you were asked to do a private dance in the VIP lounge, you had to surprise them.
You stood in the middle of the room with the lights still off, and raised your arms above your head and raised one side of your waist and then the lights are on again.
The music popped in the lounge, and you see that same smirky face eating you with his eyes. Taking in the new suit you had on, it was silky that showed off your whole back and belly, not so modest. And he loved every inch of it.
He sat there next to another guy with the same expression she got every time someone sees her in one of her suits. You danced like always but with some differences. You made a circle with your waist and interacted with them more than the public, you made your way to the couch they were on and for a second Harry thought you were coming for him, but you took the hands of Michael and made him stand up so he could dance with you.
Michael couldn't dance like you, for sure, but he tried to sway his body and couldn't focus on anything else, especially you leaned your back to his chest. Michael couldn't look to anything else, not even to Harry who was biting his lip from both lust and jealousy.
You kept dancing until the song ended. Michael and the bartender applauded hard enough to show you how much they loved it. Some of the girls out there were so pissed off at you for taking all the attention.
Harry, on the other hand, stood up and asked you, "Why don't you come with me, love?
"Honey, I don't like you." You said.
You made eye contact with Michael and smiled, "I hope to see you soon, cutie."
Then you were out of the lounge.
Harry sat on the couch again, with a smirk on his face.
--
Just when you were about to step foot out of the club you see that fucker again with the same smirk you want to slap it out of his face. You were in white tank top and a short leather skirt. Angela was right beside with a big bag in her hand you when you stopped to look at that smug.
"If you think you can kidnap me, then you should know that's a bad idea." You spat.
"And why is that, love?"
"Because I'll chop off your goddamn dick." You were violent. That's for sure.
"Oh, that could hurt." He smirked again and took a step forward towards you.
"What do you want from me, Harry Styles?"
"I want a private dance, only for me."
"Give it to him," You ordered Angela who handed him a card. "This is the number you can call if you want a private dance."
He looked at the card and then at you, "I really like you."
"And I don't care."
You said before walking towards your car. You drove away and you could still see him in the mirror not taking his eyes off of your car. What was wrong with him?
--
"Harry Styles?! Thank god you're still alive, you should apologize you little bitch." Jessica said.
You were at the apartment you shared with Jessica, you make enough money to buy a whole house now, but you didn't want to leave Jessica, she was your first and only friend when you came to America to seize your opportunity. She had your back when you couldn't find a job, until she finally helped you get one.
Her cousin was one of the three people who own the club and the theatre, and she asked her to give you a chance. From that moment you became famous enough for people to come every day to the club to just watch you dance.
So, you wouldn't just leave Jessica just because you make enough money now. And, now that you're sitting at the dining table next to Jessica at 3 PM eating, you thought that you should tell her about that freak you danced for yesterday.
"Who is he anyways?" You asked, stuffing your face with food.
"All I heard from Lola -Her cousin- is that he is not just a business man, he is powerful."
"And that was enough for you to tell me that I'm lucky that I'm still alive?"
"No, but those powerful people are intimidating."
"I'm not afraid."
"Y/N, I know you now, I know that you fear no one and nothing, but you need to chill a bit."
"Why should I? because he could kill me or something?"
"I hope not, but just become more flexible, maybe he was amazed by your dancing and liked you enough to get you in his bed."
"He asked me to go with him, Jess! I don't sleep around, and you know that, I have to have this long face for anyone that thinks for a second they can stuff their faces in my titties." You said and she bursts into laughing at the top of her lungs.
"Okay, I know that, but-" She was interrupted by your phone ringing, it was Sam, the one you hired to take care of any business outside the club.
"Sorry, Jess," You apologized before taking the phone, "Yes, Sam, how're you? What? HOW MUCH!? Okay, today 11 PM, set everything up with Sean, I don't want him to be all grumpy. Bye." And with that you hung up.
"What was that all about?" She asked drinking her juice.
You looked at her wide eyed, "That fucker asked Sam if I could dance at the parties he has tonight and for the upcoming week. He wants me for an entire week to stay at his mansion up the hill in a private part of it."
"Wow, the same fucker we were just talking about?" She asked and you nodded.
--
You had to go, there was no way out, the money was good. You packed clothes and suits, you were going to stay there for about a week so you could use as many suits as you wanted. Angela was sat right beside you on the passenger seat in your car as you drove to his mansion, Sam had sent you a location. The drive was silent, and you weren't nervous, you'd been doing this for over a year now so you were confident. You drove with one hand until you pulled over right in front of this giant mansion. Angela gasped when she put her eyes on it, but you rolled your eyes and stepped out of the car to get your bags out. Angela followed you without taking her eyes off of the mansion, she helped you with the bags with her mouth open.
"Fuck it, snap out of it, Angela!" You said, walking towards the mansion.
A man in a black suit was standing at the door of the mansion with a smile on his face, you smiled back. When you got closer to him he took the bag from you, "Hello, I'm Jack, I'll be at your service for your whole stay."
"Hello, Jack. I'm Y/N and this is Angela, my assistant."
"I know you Ms.Y/L/N, Mr. Styles told me about you. He was very excited to have you." He said letting you in the mansion.
It was huge, white. Everything was white except from the art hanging on the walls and some cushions. Jack escorted you to the elevator in the mansion and pressed on the higher floor.
"This floor is gonna be yours for your whole stay, it has its own kitchen and bathrooms so you're going to be as comfortable as possible." He said and you couldn't help but smile at Angela who couldn't close her mouth.
The elevator doors open and you step inside to see a wide floor with an open kitchen and two bedrooms with a large living room.
"Here is the kitchen as you see, it has everything you need to make a meal, but if you need anything you can always call me and I'll be at your service." He walked you to the living room, "This is the living room as you see. There's TV, mini-fridge, and everything you might need."
You nodded at him as he walked you to a room and opened the door to a large room, "This is our room?" You asked.
"No, ma'am, this is Angela's room, it's got everything you might need, miss." He told her and she took a step inside with wide smile on her face.
He walked you to another room, opened the door and FUCK. It was huge with a king-sized bed. The room had cream paint and white sheets, a couch and TV.
"Here is your room. You also have a private bathroom besides the one down the hall. Again Ms. Y/L/N, if you ever need anything you can call me. Mr. Styles has strict instructions of us taking care of you two."
You smiled at him thankfully, but couldn't help but ask, "Where is Harry?"
"We don't know that, unfortunately, but I'm sure he's gonna be here at 12 AM. He may need to speak to you about the themes of the parties he's throwing here." He said letting go of your bags.
You nodded at him.
"I should go now, here is this little thing I can't remember the name of, you press a button and you can speak to me directly." He pointed at this thing on the wall that looked like the thermostats.
You nodded again and thanked him before he left. You couldn't help but notice that your room has a balcony, you love balconies. Wherever you were, you could leave everything and stay in the balcony looking at everything around you.
When you entered the balcony, you could see a wide, long green grass, it almost looked like a park, except from the large pool that was in the middle.
You sighed.
You don't know why, but everything was too much for you, life was too much.
You felt alone even if there were a hundred people around you, and when you were alone, you felt empty. Maybe it's because you swore that no one can take any place in your heart again. No one can get this luxury of breaking your heart. You had to stand on your jelly feet and throw everything out of your life.
You remembered that day you ran away from your past and came here, like it was yesterday. But, it wasn't yesterday, and you must stay on your feet standing tall.
You heard a ringing sound coming from your room, it was this thing on the wall, you pressed on it and you heard the voice of Jack, "Ms. Y/L/N, would you like me to make you a meal? You must be starving."
"Jack, please call me y/n, I'm not used to Ms. whatever, and yes please, I'm sure Angela is starving. Thanks."
--
Everything was fine, you stayed in your room watching tv and gossiping with Jessica about Harry's mansion. That was until you hear ringing and Jack's voice said, "Y/N, Mr. Styles is waiting for you by the pool."
You stood up, get dressed in one of your huge sweatshirts and short black shorts, you pull your hair up in a messy bun. You step outside of your room, and find Angela eating popcorn on the couch in the living room.
"If you keep eating those, you're gonna pop like them." You smirked at her and she stuck her tongue out to you.
You were in the elevator and making your way towards the pool, it was kind of a long walk until you could see his tall figure in a black suit standing in front of the pool drinking wine. There were tables and chairs but he was standing focusing on the water.
You stood there for a moment before making your way to one of the chairs by a table and sit, putting your leg over the other.
"Look who it is, Mr. Gatsby!" You smirked.
He turned around and smiled at you, his eyes could revive people from death. He had a glass of wine in his hand just like you suspected.
โ€œMr. Gatsby? Why did you call me that?โ€ He asked as he took a seat on one of the chairs on the same table.
โ€œMr. Gatsby was handsome, he had a rare smile, just like you.โ€ You said with no smile.
โ€œI take that as a complement, should I?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t care, honey, Iโ€™m spelling facts. I like telling people what Iโ€™m thinking about them. Honesty is the key as you say here.โ€ You bite on your bottom lip.
โ€œI appreciate that this is the thing on your mind, not something else.โ€
โ€œWell, yesterday I thought you were a dick head, well, I still think so, but I appreciate what you did.โ€
โ€œWhat exactly?โ€
โ€œThat you didnโ€™t cross the line even more, and called Sam instead of getting my number and call me.โ€
โ€œAnd how could I get your number, love?โ€ He smirked; he loved how smart you sounded.
โ€œOh, come on! Weโ€™re adults here, we both know that you could get my number, easily.โ€
โ€œI like you even more now.โ€
That was true, he loved smart women, and you were smart and challenging.
โ€œLetโ€™s get back to business, you booked me for a week. Jack told me that you wanted to discuss the themes of your parties. Here I am.โ€
He hums and put his glass on the table, โ€œDo you want to drink something?โ€ He asked you as he looked at his smart watch.
โ€œTea with milk, please, no sugar.โ€ You answered without expression.
He smiled and then got more comfortable in his chair as one of his servants came with everything on like he was standing at the back of your head.
You thanked the servant and took off your leg from the other out of respect, that was how you were raised, and Harry noticed it.
โ€œOkay, love, we have five parties, each of them may include different people, each of them has a different theme, in each of them I want you to perform two times.โ€ He said as he poured more wine in his glass. โ€œYour tea is getting cold.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t like my hot drinks hot enough to burn my tongue.โ€ You smiled at him politely, โ€œI need to know each theme so I can choose the right suit. Also, can I choose my own songs? I canโ€™t dance to some rap or whatever the fuck you people listen to.โ€
He laughed, he thought you were funny, โ€œOf course, darling, Iโ€™ll tell you everything you need to know and you can choose your own songs.โ€
He looked down and saw that you have an anklet on, different from the one you wore at the club, he fucked you in his head with the anklet on enough times already.
โ€œCan I ask you a question?โ€ He asked, he was surprised actually that he was being polite, maybe because he saw that you were so polite that he couldnโ€™t be a dick head anymore with you.
โ€œOf course.โ€
โ€œWhere are you from?โ€
You smiled to yourself; you hear that question too many times.
โ€œI am not from here, I immigrated to the USA two years ago. It doesnโ€™t matter where Iโ€™m from, I want to forget all about it.โ€ You stopped smiling and looked him in the eyes, those green eyes, โ€œNow, can I ask you for a favor?โ€
โ€œYeah, anything you want, beauty.โ€ He answered.
โ€œCould you taste my tea to see if itโ€™s not so hot so I could drink it?โ€
He smiled at you, he didnโ€™t know what to think of you, you were a lot of things all at once. He saw you being so violent to him, so polite to the servants, potty tongue, yet so cute that you canโ€™t take a hot drink. He was curious.
He did what you asked him to, it was now cold enough for you to drink, he saw that you sipped from the same place he sipped from. You were beautiful before him, your hair is shiny, your eyes are wide enough for him to see that color of them, your skin seemed so soft, your smell stuck up his nose. You dragged him to you, not even realizing it.
He coughed, trying to shake away the tension building in his pants, โ€œYouโ€™ll get to know each theme the day before the party. If you want to get new suits you could only reach to Jack and heโ€™ll do whatever you want.โ€
โ€œThanks, but no thanks, if those are your rules then so be it. I have my own designer to take care of that. I need to go inside to sleep before tomorrow, Harry. Could you, please, tell me what is the theme of tomorrowโ€™s party?โ€ You rolled your eyes.
โ€œBlack. Only black is allowed.โ€ He kind of ordered.
โ€œOkay then.โ€ You drank the last bit of your tea and stood up, you walked your way to the mansion, but only a few steps until you stopped and looked around and said, โ€œI donโ€™t get disgusted easily. Good night, Gatsby.โ€
You smiled and left.
--
Harry sat in his bed with a girl sleeping next to him right after he gave her a good fuck thinking of you. Gatsby. Your face while smiling stuck in his head enough to take in every little detail, beauty, and flaw. He has never seen anyone so intimidating, yet so polite.
He felt like he wanted to fuck you, yes. But he felt something more. Curiosity.
He stood up in his boxers, looking at the ceiling, you were right on the floor above him, he wondered what you were doing.
--
Next morning you called Jack and asked him if there was a gym nearby, he told you that there was one on the second floor, so you got in your tight leggings and sports bra that hugged your breasts perfectly, having big ones made life harder for you.
You pulled your hair in a bun and brought your water bottle with you and went down to the second floor and explored until you found a room full of gym equipment.
You did some stretching first, and then you heard the door open as you were about to do some squats in front of the huge mirror. You saw Harry getting in, wearing black shorts and totally bare chest.
โ€œGood morning, love.โ€ He said and took a look at you.
โ€œGood morning.โ€ You responded before minding your own business.
You didnโ€™t look at him much, you stopped yourself from doing that, you completely knew that these kinds of men are the ones that get girls throwing themselves at all the time. And that was not something you intended to be, you knew that you were special, and no man could ever make you fall at his feet no matter how hot he was.
โ€œHow many languages do you speak, y/n?โ€ He asked out of no where and you didnโ€™t bother look at him, but you could see him warming up.
โ€œThat is a random question. I speak English, Arabic, and Italian.โ€ You answered with a blank face and held some weights before going on with your squats again.
โ€œWow, that is incredible!โ€ he said looking at you, he never let his eyes away anyways. He noticed that you didnโ€™t look at him not even for once, that kind of bothered him.
You didnโ€™t answer to that, and he felt like you hated his guts and he had no idea why. He got closer to you and stood behind you, โ€œYouโ€™re doing that wrong baby.โ€
He put his hands on the weights you carried and thatโ€™s when you stood again and turned around with the weights still in your hands, you felt like you could hit him with them.
โ€œLetโ€™s set things straight, Harry. I know you like me; I donโ€™t like you. You bother me, Iโ€™ve been doing this since I was fifteen and I donโ€™t need an English boy to tell me how to do things. I donโ€™t like men who always get what they want, because I donโ€™t get what I want. Does that make me a weird, envious bitch? Maybe yes. But I donโ€™t care. Stay out of my way, Iโ€™m not looking for a fuck.โ€ You said and lift the weights to his chest and he automatically held them.
With that, you left the gym room and he stood there with an open mouth.
--
โ€œHarry, what is this fucking sudden obsession over a dancer?โ€ Michael asked while sitting in the chair by Harryโ€™s desk.
โ€œItโ€™s not an obsession, Mike. That girl makes my head boil!โ€ He shouted lighting a cigarette.
โ€œWhyโ€™s that? Sheโ€™s just not into you, she told you clearly that sheโ€™s not looking forward to getting fucked by you, thatโ€™s all. Canโ€™t you really accept that?โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not that, Mike. FUCK!โ€ He threw the cigarette in the ashtray and stood up, โ€œShe wouldnโ€™t even look at me, like Iโ€™m a fucking rat or something. Does she really think I am that bad person?โ€
โ€œMaybe itโ€™s because you gave her the feeling that she was some fuck toy.โ€
โ€œShe is not! I really want to get to know her, she sounds so fucking smart, Mike. Apart from her being incredibly sexy, she sounds like she knows everything about me which she doesnโ€™t. I just want her to talk to me, even look at me.โ€
โ€œAre you having a crush on her?โ€
โ€œIsnโ€™t that obvious, you little fuck?โ€
โ€œAlready? Itโ€™s only been three days.โ€ Michael said and Harry glared at him.
โ€œAlright, you should have a conversation with her, get to know her, you know what? You should ask her for dinner.โ€ Michael suggested and Harry thought about it.
--
You were getting ready for the party, and you had a surprise for the host. You didnโ€™t hate him, but he was just like what you said, a man that got whatever he wanted, and you hated men that had everything. It makes you feel like an object around them.
You heard a knock on your door and Angela went to open it enough for you to not be seen.
โ€œCan I speak with y/n?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Mr. Styles. Sheโ€™s getting ready, you could speak from over here.โ€ Angela apologized truthfully.
โ€œY/N, are you ready? I want you down there in fifteen minutes, please.โ€ He added that please just to sound nicer.
โ€œShe says okay. Excuse me, Mr. Styles, Iโ€™m sorry.โ€ Angela said closing the door in his face softly.
โ€˜Why the fuck is she avoiding me?โ€™ He thought to himself.
He went down again by the pool to greet his guests who all wore black, he has set a small stage by the pool so you could feel as special as you wanted.
People were talking and giggling, talking money, talking shit Harry couldnโ€™t care less about. His black suit suffocated him, he hated suits, but he had to wear them.
Your words kept ringing in his head,
โ€œI donโ€™t like men who always get what they want, because I donโ€™t get what I want. I donโ€™t like men who always get what they want, because I donโ€™t get what I want.โ€
He had this urge to talk to you, to let you know that he no longer wanted anything to do with you if you didnโ€™t want. He wanted to just speak to you.
From afar he saw Jack that nodded at him as a cue that you were ready to enter.
Harry cleared his throat when saw you entering in your black mantle and heading to the small stage. He spoke loudly as the music stopped so everyone could hear, โ€œThank you everyone for coming. Iโ€™d like to introduce to you my surprise,โ€ He pointed at you and you smiled at them. โ€œThis is the amazing dance y/n, who is super talented and super annoying. I can guarantee that youโ€™re going to watch something youโ€™ll never forget.โ€
And with that everyone applauded before the music you chose started. Again, weird songs to the people here.
You gave them your back and just at the right time you dropped your mantle. Harryโ€™s eyes widened as he looked at you in a red suit that barely covered you, you had a small waist accessory on, a golden anklet.
You started your performance which was different from what Harry saw before. Just in the middle of the song you made your way down to the audience and shook your hips and hit one of men with them, he laughed and automatically started dancing with you. You made your way to Harry whose eyebrows were furrowed at you, you enjoyed how bothered he looked that you didnโ€™t keep to the theme of the party.
But he couldnโ€™t stay mad as you gave him your back and danced your way back to him almost touching his chest, not stopping your belly from swaying or your hips from popping for a second. That was when you pulled your hair and threw it on his shoulder, he almost smelled it. Then, you pulled your back down on his chest, he got a very nice view of your breasts, which you shook while looking in his eyes from your position.
You took his hand and put it on your waist as you started swaying that part of your waist so his hand could go wherever your waist was going. He smirked and put his mouth right above your ear, โ€œYouโ€™re giving me mixed signals, love.โ€
โ€œI am a lioness, Gatsby, might get used to it.โ€
You pulled away from him and started dancing again with other people.
Lioness? What the fuck does that mean?
60 notes ยท View notes
mariii1 ยท 1 year
Text
โœจ๏ธYour Future Crush/Love Interest & Squishโœจ๏ธ
Yes, all you aro/aces can join in today ๐Ÿ˜Œ
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1-2
3-4-5
Pac Song Theme:
OMG I'm did a pac during finalss week?! Yes, this is how I deal with stress, I'm also going to be doing another one inspired by a tarot reader on here for as an end of year celebration get readyyy๐Ÿค—
โ€ผ๏ธCW: topics surrounding violence, SA, abuse/trauma came up just as a heads upโ€ผ๏ธ
๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰
1. Might really like money. They think about their career a lot, and not just in a very workaholic mindset but this is someone that likes capitalism. They might like to one up people or they think they're better than others for pursuing money even if they don't have a lot. A very scummy feeling from this person, would be the type to take you to a michellen star restaurant and then be really angry if you didn't sleep with them afterwards. (s!A vibes for some) ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ I feel like they see themselves in this very righteous manner but they're really not okay in the head and I mean that respctfully. They may struggle with chronic mental illnesses but their narcissist habits make it impossible for them to heal themselves. Uhhhhh I don't wish you good luck with this person and I hope you manifest another pile HAHAHA. this person could love to brag about flying/trips theyve been on. It's giving wealthy americans that think just because they traveled overseas they know the country better than the locals and tell racist jokes cuz they think they can ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ
Squish: Literally the mild version of the romance. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ Again, this person likes money but isn't that obsessed. Again they might take you on trips but this is a really nice person even if they come across as ignorant. They could've been born with a golden spoon in they mouth, its giving stupid but v sweet. I think you'll like this person a lot, although I personally cant fck with this type, I'm strongly feeling your positive emotions. I think they can be a bit petty and immature tho although that's heavily connected to whatever privilege they have, even if its not necessarily financial.
๐Ÿถ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿถ
2. I started sneezing like crazy the moment I started you're reading, for some this a future spouse or a long term commitment for you, whatever that means to you. AGAINnn with the money like are we all in college now wtf, anyway. This person feels stunted financially or just in general with something they value. Mostly career though for you all, maybe they keep getting rejected from jobs they want or they couldn't get a full-time job out of college and had to do more internships etc. It's just like they feel behind career wise or maybe even life wise. You could be ahead of them but I'm getting the two of you struggle together sometimes. This future partner/crush is very close to you rn and some of you know them already and this is your current crush. I think you guys will start off as good friends right away even if you're not (already) best friends. This could be a future squish too for some of you.
Squish: this is your future crush for everyone that's not aro. Even if you are, there's lots of physical intimacy even if its platonic. Lots of hugs and cuddling each other when you're sad. Both of you could be fems/women. They're very precious and I think that's what pulls you in. They have a soft approachable energy and they're funny. I think they can be rlly awkward and its v funny to you ๐Ÿคญ. They could also struggle with social anxiety and you might tease them about it sometimes. Both of you could be in college and stressed about student loans or money again. You could also just both have the same financial situation in terms of your household. Like literally the same family situation too.
๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿฆ
3. This could be a future partner. You could've liked this person in the past, but they hurt you in some way or were mean? They could've been a loner even if they were ok with other people. You could be manifesting this person even if you don't know it. If you don't already know this person, they could be hurtful in some way, even when you two first meet. I keep getting the Empress for these piles, but I think its the first time in all my readings that I've had to interpret it in a negative way, interesting. This could be someone you have cycles with. Yeah they can just be rude unprovoked and I think that will be your first impression of them even if they're attitude isn't directed towards you. I don't think you know why you like this person and I think it's something you want/should figure out. Please be aware this can show up in multiple ways, it doesn't mean theyll call you a slut or curse at you, but it's much more passive aggressive and just rude. Like I don't think this person takes people seriously especially when it comes to others emotions and they like to play the victim when you try to assert boundaries.
Squish: You're going to really like this personnnn. They might heal some trauma you've had in the pass and they might really be againts your future crush. You're going to be friends with this person, for wlmost all of you close friends maybe besties. I think you might struggle alot of abandonment issues and feeling alone or isolated and I think they'll really help with that. This is someone who doesn't settle and is always moving onto the next big thing, even if it's about a partner. Yeah they might introduce you to other people, but you only really like this person. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you developed a crush on them after your future crush ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ™ˆ They also could've been through a lot and may have had the same tastes in people as you do in they past, so you might see them get very like fervent(?), like passionate about trying to educate you about the people you date/hang around even when you never asked for their opinion. I think they feel like you could do better for yourself but you can't see that. LOL you might find this really annoying and although it is, they have a point most of the time. When I say taste in people, this could apply to any relationship; they look at who you attract in terms of friends, or even family and the workplace for some you, and feel like they need to protect you.
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4. So apparently this is my pile, so for y'all who chose another pile and feel like you're getting flamed, don't worry I probably am too ๐Ÿ˜ญ. This person again could be a loner or feel lonely. I feel there's something they went through that deeply impacted them negatively but they just don't deal with those emotions and try not to think about. This person may not tell you what it is like ever, or they tell you and play down the situation a lot esp cuz they might feel like it could make other people worry about them. This is someone who's been through a lot, like some really tough stuff for some you; they could've been an addict or had parents/guardians who were, they could have been bullied a lot and like aggressively, they could've been assaulted at school. They just really could of been through physical hell, literally, maybe there's a poimt where they were chronically in pain. This person has definitely visited a hospital more than a few times or its a miracle they're still alive and walking. You could've met this person veryyy briefly in your childhood, idk why but this is giving a manhwa storyline ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ I'm specifically think of Park Hanhoo's Manager. Anywayyy, they came out on top. They really did, I feel they may compare themselves to average human being but they shouldn't bc their on a whole different level. And I feel what makes your pussy/bussyy pop is their strength. Cuz they handle things with so much gracee I tell you. They may feel behind but I think you view them very differently and I think for who they are as a person when you meet them, you're gonna give them their due respect, even if they don't have the best personality in the world. It's up to you whether or not you really want to pursue this person because I'm getting they could also become a mentor or just a friend. This could be someone at your workplace, whether you swutch jobs or they do.
Squish: Similar vibes, but more like they may have been betrayed by friends in the past or had shitty friends. They could be kind of a loner as a result and like to keep their distance but some of you will meet them at a time when their more emotionally available. This is someone that doesn't like to stay in one place, but I feel like they feel stagnant internally. They could be someone who does a lot of kind actions and could be very helpful although they're not necessarily friendly. They're nice in a very genuine and non-cliche way. If you made a mistake at work they'll give it to you straight, but they'll tell you exactly how you can do better in a non-judgmental way and are always willing to help you. They will answer your questions and paradoxically almost, they have no patience for bullshit, but they do have patience for you and people who are just less experienced than them. They could literally be from the streets. Nvm I ain't getting flamed, I love this pile y'all ๐Ÿฅฐ
๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿฆ
5. This is a go getter for sure, but they can honestly be very impulsive in general. I keep getting distracted while doing this reading, they may or may not have adhd. This is a definite future spouse/long term partner for a lot of yall. They're very whimsical but not stupid. I think this is someone who believes in science but still likes occult stuff just cuz they can. For the majority of you, this isn't a conservative right leaning hippie who believes in antisemitic conspiracy theories. Even if they like tarot, they don't take it seriously or they could really like astrology lore but don't take it seriously all the time. This is a smart person even if they may not seem like at a first glance. Idk what it is about them, but they look kinda stupid depending on what you think that looks like. Like they could look like a frat boy/mommas boy but it's only bc they don't kno how to dress and they're actually really nerdy and support human rights stuff, like they're pro choice, acab, whatever. However I feel like you won't know that much about them even after developing a crush. This may be someone that you get to know over a lengthy period of time.
Squish: Again this could be your future partner/crush i described above. This person will take you out a lot, like just to hang out they'll want to go to a new cafe or want to see a new place that's opening up. I'm getting they don't necessarily like traveling long distance or flying tho. Y'all could live in an area that has a lot of things to do, there's always something new. They aren't rich but they still know how to have fun without spending a lot of money. Its really giving teen afterschool fun vibes, you guys might hang out at a mutual friends place a lot together. And that may be how you first meet. Again this person isn't super open but they are still a bit friendly and I don't think they mind getting to know you particular. I have a feeling they don't care if they don't have friends at all, they seem to be very content by themselves and know how to have fun. They may be what I like to call a quiet extrovert.
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sanjisboyfie ยท 7 months
Text
one piece smau: dating vivi edition
โ€” IM AWARE SOME OF THESE HAVE RLLY BAD BLUE EDITTED HAIR BUT I WANTED TO TRY IT OUT AND SEE HOW IT WAS ๐Ÿ˜ญ
โ€” a little different because its still modern au but i wanted to go with teh idea that vivi was still royalty and reader is her rlly hot bf that the public likes, but tabloids hot bc they dont think hes good enough for her ... whatever that trope is im a sucker for so thats why i made it this way
โ€” male reader B)
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liked by king[name], igaram, ttchopper, and 530k others
queenvivi: visited drum island <3
tagged: king[name]
dni_nami: popcrave is gonna love this onneee cuz u look so good here vivi !!
-> queenvivi: thank u nami, i miss u sm !
-> uso_pp: popcrave jus posted on twitter "queen vivi slays in recent photo, shocking the entire country"
king[name]: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND ???I FEEL SICK TO MY STOMACH YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL
freeluffy: vivi when r u going to visit us :////
[liked by princesanji, dni_nami, and 70 others]
king[name]: DO YOU NEED A PET? DO YOU NEED A DOG? I'LL BE A GOOD PET FOR U MY QUEEN
-> queenvivi: ??? babe i'm gonna change your password very soon
-> king[name]: WOOF WOOF WOOOOF
-> dni_nami: this why the media hates u [name]
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liked by pell, queenvivi, and 70k others
king[name]: will go to as many boring royalty events if it means im by her side <3
tagged: queenvivi
randomroyallyobsessedfan: UGH THEY'RE SO CUTE I LOVE THEM I CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO GET MARRIED
queenvivi: you're so handsome in all of these, im the luckiest woman in the world
roro.zoro: can't you get into a lot of trouble with literally every country for complaining abt this???
-> king[name]: proof?
-> roro.zoro: mf wtf do u mean proof??? THE PROOF IS RIGHT IN THIS POST
igaram: i'm going to murder this dumbass boy.
-> king[name]: oooh im telling on you to miss terracota
[liked queenvivi, dni_nami, and 100 others]
princesanji: i can't believe they make queen vivi cover her blue hair for these events, they are suffocating her natural beauty </333
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liked by dni_nami, freeluffy, and 103k others
deuxmoi: do you guys remember when vivi and [name] started dating? the royal couple are everyone's favorite pair !! happy four years to the two of them, to many more in the future to the cutest couple in the worllddd!!! p.s. honestly thank god for [name] because we got to see vivi in his iconic leather jacket, hello?! she looks so good!!
tagged: king[name] and queenvivi
randomroyallyobsessedfan: atp if he doesnt propose to her i will
-> anotherrandom: if she doesnt marry him atp i will
uso_pp: its crazy we r literally friends with the queen of a whole country
-> freeluffy: no we are BEST friends with vivi, usopp :DDD
[liked by queenvivi, king[name], and 200 others]
ttchopper: i remember when they first met, vivi was a blushing mess the entire time
-> queenvivi: please do not remind me. its so embarassing chopper.
-> king[name]: my own girlfriend is embarassed of me </3
princesanji: it should have been ME
-> king[name]: you're a fraud dni w me thanks xoxo
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liked by robinkills, king[name], and 450k others
queenvivi: what lana said that one time
tagged: king[name]
dni_nami: i pyo to that song where is my credit
king[name]: stop i am NOT a serial killer the tabloids r gonna have a field day w this reference pls
-> uso_pp: if hes a serial killer then whats the worst that could happen to a girl thats already hurt. im alreayd huurutttt
[liked by queenvivi, king[name], and 200 others]
igaram: QUEEN VIVI BLINK TWICE IF U NEED HELP
-> pell: i'm going to confiscate your phone, she is fine. please relax igaram.
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liked by queenvivi, princesanji, and 200k others
king[name]: alexa play seven by jungkook EXPLICITY VERSION. EXPLICIT VERSION. EXPLICITY VERSION.
tagged: queenvivi
robinkills: it's like [name] wants to get banned from seeing vivi again
-> king[name]: the entire country trying to keep me out will not stop me from seeing my beautiful girlfriend
dni_nami: seriously??? of all songs???
-> king[name]: its the way that you can ride its the way that you can ride
-> dni_nami: PLEASE SHUT TH EFUCK UP
-> queenvivi: babe please stop i can't keep explaining these references to my father he might kill you
-> king[name]: LEAVE YOU WITH THAT AFTERGLOOOWWWW
roro.zoro: 3d a better song but alright
-> uso_pp: the way you couldn't be more wrong???
king[name]'s story
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i would lay down my life to protect this woman form any harm to come her way, some of you simply will NEVER understand
queenvivi replied to your story: i love you so much, let's stay in tmrw to relax
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reivrze ยท 1 year
Note
ex!bf hee x reader / college au
(mutual breakup but reader disappears and then comes back 2-3 years later and hee's like wtf ๐Ÿ˜ญ)
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in which you and heeseung broke up a few years ago, following the break-up, you moved away for the next few years. now, you're back to your old neighborhood and with the coincidence of a lifetime, you end up running into your ex. pairing. ex!heeseung x gn!reader genre. college au, exes to lovers, fluff word count. 0.6k
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A few years ago, you and your most recent ex, Lee Heeseung, broke up. Both of you were dealing with personal issues, and it wasn't the right time for either of you to be in a relationship, so you mutually decided to end things. After the breakup, you were offered a position in another major across the country. With no relationship holding you back, you accepted the position and moved away.
Around two years later, you received news of a family member's passing and decided to return to your old apartment. You and Heeseung hadn't spoken since the breakup. He had tried to reach out, asking how you were, but your new schedule filled up any free time you used to have, so you often found yourself unable to respond. Eventually, he stopped texting altogether, and both of you moved on with your lives.
Now that you were back, the last thing you expected was to run into him while moving back into your old home. You spent the whole morning carrying box after box into your house, finding it challenging to do alone.
As you struggled with the boxes, sweat trickling down your forehead, you suddenly heard a familiar voice behind you. "Do you need some help with that?" The voice surprised you, causing you to swiftly turn around. There stood Lee Heeseung, looking as handsome as ever, with a concerned expression on his face.
Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you were speechless. It took a few seconds to compose yourself before you managed to respond, "Heeseung? What are you doing here?"
Heeseung offered a small smile, his eyes reflecting a mix of surprise and relief. "I live next door now," he explained. "I moved back a few months ago. I didn't expect to see you here."
It felt strange to learn that he had been living nearby all this time, but you also felt a sense of relief. "I just moved back today," you replied, gesturing toward the scattered boxes. "Looks like I could use some help, actually."
Heeseung immediately stepped forward, taking hold of one of the heavy boxes. "Of course, I'll lend you a hand. It's the least I can do."
As the two of you worked together, the silence between you gradually dissipated, and memories of your past relationship started to resurface. You couldn't help but wonder what might have been if the timing had been different back then.
Once you finished carrying the last box inside, you both sat down on the porch steps, slightly out of breath. Heeseung looked at you with curiosity and concern. "So, how have you been all these years? I tried reaching out, but I never received a response."
You sighed, realizing how distant you had become and the impact it had on him. "I'm sorry, Heeseung. Life just got so busy after I moved. I had so much going on, and I didn't mean to ignore you. It was never my intention."
Heeseung nodded, understanding evident in his eyes. "I figured as much. I'm glad you're back, though. It's been lonely without you around."
A pang of regret washed over you, but you tried to focus on the present. "I missed you too, Heeseung. Maybe we can catch up properly now that we're both here."
A hint of a smile appeared on Heeseung's face. "I'd like that. We have a lot to talk about."
And so, on that warm afternoon, you and Heeseung went to the little cafรฉ where you had your first date, sharing stories, reminiscing, and slowly reconnecting. It was a chance to rebuild what had been lost, to see if the sparks that once ignited your relationship could still burn brightly. Only time would tell what the future held for the two of you. But for now, you were grateful for this unexpected encounter and the possibility of rediscovering a connection that had once been so meaningful.
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ยฉ miyu 2023 - do not copy, translate, repost or plagiarise my work anywhere !
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fyeahnix ยท 1 year
Text
so the last few weeks I've been horribly obsessed with a little game called Project Zomboid. I initially bought it during the Steam Winter Sale as a game to chill to on my Steam Deck. I thought "ok zombie apocalypse survival RPG, I'll try it out, sure" and I was also wondering how tf a game was still in beta for 10 years
LITTLE DID I FUCKING KNOW....
this game is so ridiculously detailed it's unreal. you have to manage your hunger, sleep, thirst, mood/happiness, stress, prep for the water and power shutting off, prep for rising zombie populations, prep for winter, etc. OH yeah SEASONS. the game is very realistic seasons that mimic real life. there's so much to talk about just in the mechanics alone that I don't know where to start.
anyway, I started playing this on the deck, and eventually moved to PC because I saw how much more controls and shit you can do with a mouse and keyboard. and I like it so much better.
so the game straight up tells you that at some point, you will die, and there's nothing you can do about it. and that's fine. I died SO MANY FUCKING TIMES when I first played. I played on Apocalypse mode initially (which was very stupid as it's the hardest preset difficulty lol), and then moved to Survivor when I found that out. but the more YT videos I watched on this game, the more people really encourage you to play Sandbox mode and figure out what your preferred playstyle is.
so that's what I did when I moved to PC. I found out I do no like zombie infection so I turned it off. zombie infection happens 100% of the time when you're bitten by a zombie and there's literally no way to stop it, you get sick and die a slow death over the course of like 3-4 in-game days. if you get scratched or lacerated there's a percentage chance of that happening too. I just didn't like making progress and then having it stripped away because I got unlucky.
I finally made a character that survived more than a month in-game, made the firehouse in Rosewood a base, had a lot of shit set up for water, farming, electricity, etc, and then I fucking DIED trying to clear out a grocery store. now when you die, you can choose to respawn another character in the same world, but all your skills are reset. I chose this option instead of starting over completely because I had a good thing going and I enjoyed that setup. what I didn't like was the skill grind. I managed to get most of my skills back up to where they were before death in the span of a few hours because I had all that set up at my base. anyway, I said "this grind isn't fun" and installed a mod to craft a skill journey where you can manually record your character's experience progress and if they die, you can read the journal and get those skills back.
that came in clutch because last night, my second character died trying to clear zombies out at the kentucky state prison in Rosewood. that kinda upset me, but I just reset in rosewood, went to my base to gear up with backup gear, and trekked it on foot to the prison to reclaim my lost shit:
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that red circle is my second character's dead body I had to drag outside and loot because there were too many corpses inside. (btw if you stay around corpses for too long your character will get sick). in the bottom right corner you can see my truck that got abandoned. thankfully I got in an out pretty quickly and got my truck back.
now you're prob saying "wtf that takes the fun out of the game" to which I reply "to you" lol. the survival and combat aspects of this game are fun as is the exploration, but the skill grinding takes forever for some skills and I didn't wanna redo that again. the downside of this is that I STILL have to go retrieve my shit and if it's too far away from my base, then I might be SOL. these two deaths were lucky because they were within walking distance of my base. also I still have to reread skill books for bonuses and that takes DAYS in-game to accomplish because I took the slow reader trait....
anyway here's some of my base. it's a fucking mess I am currently trying to clean up:
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the patch of grass to the right of the water barrels is where I farm food. but I have a ton of food in the freezers so I'm holding off on farming again until I get close to low on fresh food. I have canned food as a backup.
bottom two pics is my messy ass storage and workshop area. I got a shit ton of guns and ammo from the prison that I hauled back in my pickup truck and I need to organize everything. the problem is that I need a skill book to learn how to make metal crates and neither the bookstore nor the school library has it so I have to venture out. second problem is that I may have to go to Muldraugh or March Ridge to check those bookstores and I'm DREADING it. the prison furthered humbled me and I don't wanna die again lol esp not that far away from my base. but I gotta do it. all for metal storage crates. you're prob wondering "why metal? just make the wooden ones and you're golden." and you would be correct but fuck it, 80 storage space compared to 40 and 60 for the level 1 and 2 wooden crates is just so much more appealing and I have a ton of shit that needs to be stored.
anyway that's my adventures in PZ so far. there's more to talk about like how I tried to go to the lone shack out in the woods one day to find an antique oven, almost got stranded, and had to make the trek back because the road there was covered in trees and not good for car travel. speaking of, the map is absolutely fucking gigantic. don't play this game without the map on another screen. it makes planning and traversal so much better
but yeah. it's about to be winter in a few in-game days, which means I'm gonna be struggling to forage for food, fish, and grow crops from December-February. I have food and water saved up and I think I can make it but maaaan it's gonna be a time.
thanks for coming to my tedtalk lol
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