#am i like nuts? how can she still be friends with him to go somewhere alone with him? fuck
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grrrrr hatehatehate
#vent#god i hate this#so this dude right. was friends with my gf (reminder we're in a ldr)#and then he fell in love with her and was behaving like a fucking creep#and after he apologized. and got himself a girlfriend. my gf considers him normal 'ten times over' now (quoted)#and like. she's going to meet him tomorrow. and i fucking hate it when she goes alone without their friends or his gf#am i like nuts? how can she still be friends with him to go somewhere alone with him? fuck#I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE HIM. FUCK OFF#at least he won't be forgiven by ONE of us :/
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BEFORE and AFTER
Before:
Jaune: There’s no way I put my gear in locker 636 yesterday! I would've remembered having to count that high- AAAH! *Gets Shoved Against the Wall*
Yang: What are your intentions with my sister?!
Jaune: Your sister?! OH! You mean Ruby? We just met, like, yesterday!
Yang: You think I don’t know what your game here is?! That I would let some guy my sister just met taint what’s left of her innocence?! I mean, what are the odds Ruby's first friend at Beacon turned out to be some good-for-nothing boy like you?!
Jaune: Fifty-fifty? *Gets Shoved Harder* OW!
Yang: I’m going to make myself very clear here! If you so much glance at her the wrong way, I will show you a world of pain only the Grimm can imagine! Got that?!
Jaune: *Gulp* Y-Yes ma’am.
Yang: Good. *Releases Him* I’ll be watching you at the initiation. Don’t even think about sneaking in the same Team as Ruby.
Jaune: I-I’ll keep that in mind…
After:
Jaune: Hey Yang, I got your message. I just finished helping some refugees from Mantle settle in. What did you wanna- WHOA! *Gets Shoved Against the Wall* …Well, this feels familiar.
Yang: What’s your deal with Ruby, huh?!
Jaune: My deal with Ruby?
Yang: Don’t play coy with me now! Just answer the damn question!
Jaune: N-Nothing! There’s nothing going on between me and her!
Yang: Yeah, I can see that! WHY HAVEN’T YOU MADE A MOVE ALREADY?!
Jaune: I-I SWEAR, YANG! I WASN’T- Wait, what?
Yang: Ruby has been travelling with you for over a year now. So why haven’t you two started dating yet?!
Jaune: Wha-?! Wha-?! But you told me back at Beacon-!
Yang: That was ages ago, you numb-nuts! Listen, Ruby needs a supportive partner who’s willing to go through the same lengths you did to protect her. You’ve seen what she went through in the Ever After. Don’t you think she deserves to settle down with someone she likes?
Jaune: I get where you coming from, but still-
Yang: And besides, we need more of “Her Kind” now more than ever!
Jaune: …I don’t follow.
Yang: Do I have to spell it out?! *Shoves Him Harder* Ruby was Summer’s only daughter! She’s literally the last of her kind! If we’re gonna stand a chance against Salem and her army, we need more Silver-Eyed Warriors!
Jaune: A-And how am I supposed to help with that?!
Yang: You know exactly how.
Jaune: I… Do?
Yang: Jaune. My man. My fellow blond-in-arms… I need you to continue the Rose Bloodline.
Jaune: WHAT?!
Yang: You heard me! I’ve seen what your family’s capable of! You and Ruby are the only ones who can get us a fresh batch of Silver-Eyed Juggernauts in record time!
Jaune: Yang! You’re talking crazy now!
Yang: RUBY’S GARDEN IS RUNNING BARREN AND SHE IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF YOUR VIRILE SEED, JAUNE!
Jaune: Yang, please! Come to your senses!
Yang: I WON’T LET MENOPAUSE TAKE AWAY MANKIND’S LAST HOPE! YOU WILL MAKE ME AN AUNT EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING YOU’LL DO!
Jaune: SORRY! *Slips Through his Armor, Escaping her Grip* I just remembered I’m needed somewhere else! See ya! *Running for his Life*
Yang: HEY! GET BACK HERE! *Gives Chase* YOU WILL F#CK MY SISTER OR SO HELP ME!
#rwby#rwby shitpost#jaune arc#yang xiao long#ruby rose#lancaster#ruby x jaune#jaune x ruby#yangposting
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After my acotar re-read I am more convinced that once the series end, Lucien’s permanent residence is not in the Spring Court and it’s going to be in Day Court.
I really think he needs to get out of the SC & away from Tamlin. Lucien was always the better friend to Tamlin and Lucien needs to be somewhere where he’s truly appreciated and to me personally that doesn’t include Spring, Autumn or Night.
I hate the fact Lucien feels indebted to Tamlin because he took him in and helped him against his brothers but it was clear Lucien was deadly afraid of Tamlin and the power imbalance between the two was bad, and it became worse in acomaf when Tamlin got his full powers back. Tamlin didn’t care for Lucien’s opinion and barely, if at all, took it into consideration. Then him beating him in acosf because he’s angry at life isn’t cool. Then he also threw Lucien’s belongings out the house.
Then with both Feyre & Rhys saying how Lucien is fated to be more than what he was in spring & how Lucien’s talents were wasted in spring just makes me think once his story is told, spring is not where he’s ending up in the end and I think that’s a good thing.
I think that Tamlin and Lucien will patch up their relationship but it’s never going to be as “close” as they were before. I can see Lucien helping repair spring but even then, he stated the people there don’t like him anymore and we clearly see Tamlin doesn’t either, so it’ll be a challenge if he does decide to help. I don’t see SJM killing Tamlin despite him being down and out at the moment. I really think she’s going to have Tamlin rally back before another war comes.
We all know how Lucien is Helions son. I would love to see how he finds that out. I know a lot of people want Feyre to tell him and talk shit about her not saying anything, but that’s not Feyre’s business, and with beron being a nut at the moment, that’s going to open up a can of worms. Honestly, I think it’s LOA obligation to tell both Lucien and Helion that Lucien is his son. Not Feyre’s.
It sucks Helion doesn’t know and if he did I really could see him wanting a blood duel. Like Lucien is his literally life and blood that he’s missed out on 300+ years. I know Lucien might not want a father in his life at the moment due to beron being a pos but I just have a feeling after they get pass the emotional barrier of things, Lucien and Helion will become close and have a good relationship.
Plus knowing Lucien is the day court heir just makes sense for him to end up in day. I know that Elain is very connected to the spring court. But Elain craves sunshine and she loves to sit by the windows all the time and the day court is the sun personified. I get it spring has gardens that Elain would love but if Elain likes gardening, I think she’ll appreciate and love the gardens of spring but she would still want to create more and with spring already being filled with gardens I think she would love to build ones in day. I think her and Lucien will have a higher position in day than in spring anyway since I don’t think SJM is going to have Tamlin kick the bucket at the moment.
I’m not sure how Lucien’s future relationships with autumn will be if eris succeeds in killing Beron and putting himself on the throne, but I just don’t see them being close. Lucien wants nothing to do with Beron or Eris. No matter how Eris mentions to others that he tried to help Lucien. It’s different with them since it’s so much bad blood between them and I don’t ever really see them having a good brother relationship, I can see Lucien tolerating Eris. Eris whole focus is the autumn court and his mother anyway.
#lucien vanerra#pro lucien vanserra#helion spell cleaver#eris vanserra#acotar#elain archeron#elucien#pro elucien
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bracket 1 FINAL BATTLE
RUSTY versus PRISSY
RUSTY
Rusty used to be a stray and then he had An Accident and now he has three legs (he had been living at a vet's office for a month when submitter adopted him). But he's doing great! Submitter taught him how to climb stairs and built him some steps out of cardboard boxes so he can get on their bed whenever he wants. They think he could be anywhere from 6 to 12 years old, it's hard to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. To their pleasant surprise, he does not mind wearing a harness at all, which is good because he still loves the outdoors. He often gets his ear turned inside out while bathing and weirdly prefers dry food over wet.
PROPAGANDA
breaking: semi-feral baby learns to cuddle, becomes addicted to laying on my face
and here he is chillin on the patio with me!
vote for rusty #1 best at sticking out leg
when i first got Rusty he could not go up stairs... but he could go down, so he would get stuck at the bottom of them and meow for help. Of course he also hated being picked up and carried up the stairs.
but now he just goes ZOOP up the stairs doing audible damage to my carpet the whole way, which is so valid of him because i hate carpet on stairs
and something that is not quite propaganda for rusty but important words from rusty's human nontheless
For this semifinal I am going to do a different kind of propaganda.
Next time you are looking to adopt a pet, please consider getting an older animal or one with special needs, if you are able, or even just a shy, timid one. The reason my vet friend came to me about Rusty was because cats like him are usually overlooked in shelters. It wasn't just his injury--behaviorally, it was like he didn't know how to be a pet. For about three months he spent 95% of his time sitting in one spot, doing nothing, mostly indifferent to human attention. And now, after less than two years, he is super active and follows me to bed every night for cuddles. There are so many pets like Rusty who just need somebody to give them a chance, and give them time. If you can be that person, it is the most amazing thing to see what they bloom into!
Thank you for reading my spiel, now here is a picture of Rusty sleeping in the cat equivalent of a T-pose for some reason:
PRISSY
If she's quiet she's either sleeping or somewhere she shouldn't be. Or Both. Openly favors submitter, tolerates others. Very autistic cat: anxious of bad noises, very picky eater, kneads with her right paw out for no reason, must walk a circle around the room before going somewhere, has Specific eating spots for mealtime, etc. She probably knows more English than she lets on. Disobeys authority when she's bored or hungry. Loves the outdoors but she needs her pretty pink harness or she'll run; her favorite activity is playing with grasshoppers. She's a little brat but you can't help but love her when she squeaks at you.
PROPAGANDA
As you can see, she likes tight spaces (it's the 'tism -u-). She has access to larger, roomier sleeping spaces, but she always gravitates to places where I can't understand how she could possibly be comfortable. That round thing in the top right pic? She sleeps on top of that for the night even though a whole leg falls over the side. We've debated getting her a bigger one, but I don't think she'd like it.
She is also a lover of people food; we tried not to get her used to it, but somewhere along the way she broke down our walls. Whenever I snack on cheese puffs on the couch, she's always gotta get up in my face to try to get some of that delicious cheese dust, going so far as to stick her big face in the bag right in front of me while I'm holding it. And if you've got salmon, she will go nuts. I think salmon is her favorite food with cheese as a close second. ...but she'll also beg for chicken nugget.
[Image description: a photo of OP sitting at the dining table over a plate of chicken strips and ketchup, OP on one side of the chair and holding a piece of bitten chicken and Prissy sitting on the other side of the chair with one paw on the table eyeing the bitten chicken strip. OP's face has been painted over with a black spot.]
As for speaking English, I've caught her saying Hello and Mama clear as day, and is working on pronouncing Outside and Water (I mean it, just from her tones and "syllables" of her meows, it's like she's trying to speak).
Sorry for the spam, but she really is that photogenic. And also sorry for the stuff on my bed, but my legs were injured at the time and needed extra support. While they were injured, I also spent a lot of time on the couch, where Prissy frequently sat by my side and especially on my lap. Now that I'm better and not sitting there anymore, she now claims that specific corner of the couch as her own; she's even stolen that spot from me when I get up to do something really quick.
I've also trained her to hop on my lap when she wants to eat, instead of jumping on the table, but at the end of the day she still does what she wants lol. She's always been by my side, from the first day she got here at 3 mos. old and took a nap on my lap right in the hallway.
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Marley incorrect quotes part 6: a Memoir
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Carla, to Eren: Your dad was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Grisha: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Carla: Grisha, you ate a chair.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Levi: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Petra: Twelve, actually.
Levi: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Petra: Yours!
Levi: That's right: no one's.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Carla: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Grisha: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Carla: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Carla: WHY, why did you give Mikasa a knife?? As if she wasn't terrorizing the other kids enough??
Grisha: She said she felt unsafe.
Carla: Now I feel unsafe!
Grisha: I'm sorry
Grisha: ... Would you like a knife?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Pieck: Hey, you want some leftovers?
Annie: What's that?
Pieck: You've never had leftovers??
Annie: No, because I'm not a quitter.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gabi: Seriously, how do you manage to actually be sucessful with Magath as your Commander?
Zeke: I’m not really listening to him half the time. I just smile and agree, and then I do what I want...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: You love me, right, Pieck?
Pieck: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere treasonous and I don’t like it.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Pieck: The individual we're searching for has very big... Uh... How to put this-
Gabi: Huge Badonkers
Udo: Prodigious Mommy Milkers
Colt Grice: Impressive Bosoms
Falco: Immense Jingle Bells
Zofia: Humongous tètés
Udo: How did you just speak in italics-
Porco: Massive Tits
Gabi: Gigantic Gazongas
Zofia: Colossal Knockers
Falco: ( . )( . )
Colt: Gargantuan Chesticles
Reiner: You all need to STOP
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Falco: A muffin is just a bald cupcake and we all know it.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Porco: Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for Zeke Jaeger.
Pieck: *looking lovingly at Zeke across the room* I don’t have feelings for Zeke Jaeger
Porco: Pieck! You're not even remotely looking towards my eyes!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Falco: What's your biggest fear?
Reiner: Being forgotten
Falco: Damn that's deep
Falco: Mine is the kool aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Pieck: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk to about personal stuff.
Zeke: Thank you, that means a lot to me.
Zeke: Is it because I told you to set General Calvi on fire when he refused to listen to you about the Panzer unit?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath: Sorry guys no Eldians allowed at the party. Only purebreed, not subject to bothersome Titan transformations real humans allowed.
Pieck: But why is Zeke allowed?
Commander Magath: He’s cooler than all of you. Also the officers like him
Zeke, holding a glass of wine: Suck on deez nuts!
Gabi: I'm gonna put a spider in his shower
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: Hi there! I am back. By unpopular demand, yes, but it's still a cause for celebration
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Pieck: Anyone want anything from the store?
Udo: A friend.
Gabi: Yeah if you could find my baseball bat with nails on it that would be great
Zofia: Gummies in every flavor please
Falco: Can I get some owange juwuice ?
Zofia: Also confetti!
Udo: Matches
Gabi: Gasoline
Reiner: *head in hands* 4 harnesses, preferably big enough to fit a human child in
Zeke: Peace, with a side of quiet?
Porco: Really, Zeke? I prefer my peace with a side of rowdy
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Zeke.
Zeke: How did you do that without turning around?
Commander Magath: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don't know about, so be kind.
Porco: I once saw you punch a girl scout because she didn't have any thin mints
Zeke: Exactly. That was my battle. So be kind.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: Porco and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Porco: Sentences.
Zeke: Don't interrupt me.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Pieck: You need to stop.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Reiner, talking to Gabi on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Gabi: You bet!
Reiner: At what temperature?
Gabi: 535.
Reiner: That's the clock.
Gabi:
Reiner:
Gabi: 536.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gabi, to Udo and Zofia: Welcome, fellow idiots
Falco: Hello, Gabi
Gabi: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Falco: You underestimate me
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Reiner: You say "fight me" a lot for someone who's like 5'2 and has a hard time opening some doors because they're too heavy.
Gabi: Excuse me?! You wanna bet on that? Are you serious? Fight me!
Reiner: There it is!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Falco: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Colt: Falco, that's a coma.
Falco: Sounds festive.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Falco: So what’s for dinner?
Gabi, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.
Gabi: With, uh, the vague flavor of these weird mushrooms I found yesterday
Falco: So we might die poisoned. Great.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath: You broke into my office?!
Gabi, with the rest of the Marleyan Warriors behind her: No! That would be morally wrong. Instead we made a key
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gabi, holding up a scooter: Can we go ride this outside?
Commander Magath, scoffing: Whatever, I'm not your father.
Gabi: Okay! *Runs off with Falco*
Commander Magath: NOT IN THE STREETS!!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
*Falco, Gabi and Udo sitting on a bench*
Zofia: *walks up to them* Why do you guys look so sad?
Udo: Sit down with us so we can tell you
*Zofia sits down*
Falco: The bench is freshly painted
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Pieck: *patting Reiner's shoulder* You are not alone
Reiner, tearing up: Aw, thanks Pie-
Pieck: Theres bugs
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath: I hope you have a darned good explanation for this!
Gabi: We have three, actually
Falco: Just pick your favorite!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath: This is not the time for your shenanigans!
Gabi: It was a single shenanigan. Technically more of a hijink.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
*Commander Magath discovers what Gabi has been up to and punishes her and Falco*
Gabi: I'm choosing to ignore this verdict!
Commander Magath: What?! You can't just ignore the verdict!
Gabi: WHAT VERDICT??? SEE this is me ignoring the verdict!
Commander Magath:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Pieck: Sooo... I saw you walking home with Falco yesterday
Gabi: Yes, we're friends
Pieck: You were holding hands
Gabi:... We were crossing the road?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Reiner, seeing Eren for the first time after 5 years: What happened to you dude, did your hairdresser go to jail ? Lol
Eren: Yep. He killed your therapist.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa: Go to Hell
Reiner, tearing up: I wish I could
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Eren: Ten years ago I married my best friend
Eren: Mikasa's still mad about it but Armin and I were drunk and we thought it would be funny
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa: Why does Hange call you babygirl?
Levi: How about we stop talking for a little while, mh?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa, tapping her chest: I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Jean, arguing with Eren: Anyone under 5'8 can't talk about fighting someone. What are you gonna do? Headbutt them in the nipples?
Annie: *glares at him*
Jean: okimsorrythisdoesntapplytoyou
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Baby: *crying*
Armin, picking him up: It's okay, you're going to learn how to do it on the inside when you're older.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sasha: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise
Reiner: I beg to differ
Sasha: Then Beg
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa: We just ate. Why are you two making pancakes?
Sasha: For the dogs
Mikasa: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Historia: *tearing up* Cause they can't make them themselves
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: So what do you think?
Eren: Oh, I wasn't listening but I agree with Mikasa
Zeke:
Zeke: She's not even here.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: Before we go fight the Demons of Paradis on their devilish island, remember they are expecting a super competent team of mighty warriors
Gabi: And THAT gives us the element of suprise!
Reiner: Wonderful. The only advantage we have and it's that we're mediocre at our jobs
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Ymir: No, I will NOT let you take control of my body through our shared memories
Marcel: Do it or you're straight
Ymir: wHAT?!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Ymir (with Marcel in command): Hi again dickhead
Porco: Uh?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Marcel: Just wanted to tell you, on that day when you were 7 and I was 9 and we fought and I took your Helos action figure, I hid it on top of the cupboard over the fridge. Just so you don't keep searching for it. Bye, loser.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Eren: What’s up guys? I’m back.
Historia: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. Gabi shot you. I literally saw you die.
Zeke: Death is a social construct.
Grisha Yaeger: God isn't real and the permanency of self is an illusion
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa: Friggin' Yaegers
Armin: It's okay, you can say fuck.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: I now know what I really need
Pieck: Therapy?
Eren: Getting punched in the face?
Historia: An exorcism?
Zeke: I was going to say love and appreciation
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: *Accidentally hits Historia in the face*
Zeke: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Zeke: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Historia: What’s wrong with you?!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Kenny: I’d never stab anyone in the back. That’s such a boring form of betrayal.
Levi: You’ve literally tried to stab me in the back, like, fifty times.
Kenny: Well, I’d never do it again because it got boring.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Levi: Oluo...
Oluo: Oh no, 'Oluo' in b-flat.
Oluo: You're disappointed.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Levi: I prevented a murder today.
Petra: Really? How’d you do that?
Levi: self control.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gunther: I failed my mission
Levi: Yes, you did
Gunther: I'm a miserable failure
Levi: Yes, you are
Gunther: I could use words of encouragement
Levi: Yes, you could
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mike Zacharias: If I died, how much would you guys miss me?
Levi: It's cute how you think death can get you out of this job
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Eld Jinn: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Levi: What doesn't kill me should RUN-
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Eren: Are you this rude to everybody?
Levi: Yes.
Levi: Don't think you're special
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Nanaba: I’m trying a new approach by subtly suggesting to Captain Levi that he should work on his anger management issues.
Nanaba's new approach: Woah hey what a great day how about we go out and go to THERAPY, boys? Wonderful time to start new hobbies, like- *waving a ticket in front of Levi's face* these free meditation lessons! You're welcome, don't even mention it!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Historia: Commander Erwin is amazing. He’s so sweet and kind even though he looks super intimidating and I love him so much.
Historia: And this is Levi. 2/10, don't recommend.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
*During the final fight against Eren*
Hange: Hey Zeke, you here for the show?
Zeke: What do you mean the show ? That's my brother dying up there!
Hange: I know, that's why I got you this *hands him some paper*
Zeke: Why are you handing me trash?
Hange: It's not trash, it's a sympathy card!
Zeke: This is a CVS receipt on the back of which you wrote "Zoinks, Scoob" in crayon.
Zeke, flipping the receipt over: Also, why did you buy... three maxi tubes of Vaseline and a box of Zebra Cakes?
Levi: Not your business
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Carla: Three little words. Say them and I'm yours.
Grisha: Three little words.
Carla:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Carla: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Grisha: Stop romanticizing the past
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Grisha: I accidentally indulged in too much Me Time
Grisha: Turns out, I've been reported missing for ten years and presumed dead by all my friends and family
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Erwin, slamming the door: SIX MONTHS.
Levi: What's he talking about
Hange: I'm sure it's nothing
Erwin: FOR SIX MONTHS YOU WATCHED ME WATER A PLASTIC PLANT, HANGE
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Levi: You know, normal and emotionally balanced human beings have a reaction when they see someone crying in front of them
Zeke: I do have a reaction
Levi: Let me rephrase that
Levi: Normal human beings don't roll their eyes when they see someone crying in front of them
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: *putting his cup down* This is disgusting. What kind of tea is that?!
Gabi: Oh, I just boiled us some Gatorade
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sasha: So you live in Liberio?
Gabi: Ok, first of all, my PARENTS and all my friends live in Liberio. I, live in the moment.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gabi: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Sasha: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Gabi: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
*Sasha and Gabi are hanging out*
Gabi: We're having fun aren't we?
Sasha, visibly shaking: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sasha: Woah hey there, what are you carrying around?
Gabi, with a clear bump in her coat: Nope! Carrying nothing, especially not anything weir-
Gabi's coat: Woof!
Sasha:
Gabi:
Sasha: can I pet him?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gabi: How petty can you get?
Sasha: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gabi: So, Twilight Sparkle was the main character cause she represented the element of friendship.
Kaya: Please just let me feed the horses-
Gabi: I'M NOT DONE- and Rainbow Dash was like the sporty girl,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hange: Okay, help me please!
Erwin: Got two words for you.
Hange: I bet they won't be helpful.
Erwin: Your. Problem.
Hange: I was right
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath: I've left instructions for everyone while I'm gone
Gabi: Mine just says "Gabi, no"
Commander Magath: Apply that to every possible situation
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Annie: Look, I know you think my judgment's clouded just because I like Armin a little bit
Reiner, holding her notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation
Annie: No, this one is our joint tombstone
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hange: Wow, this coffee is banging!
Moblit: Hange, that's your paint water
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Gabi's mom: *Pointing to Gabi's makeshift papier mâché sculpture of a tank* Gabi, get that hideous thing out of the living room, would you?
Gabi: Reiner, mom wants you out of the house.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Annie: Time sensitive question everyone: How flirt boy??
Marcel: Throw rocks at he
Pieck: Hot Dogs
Porco: Footballs
Zeke: Kill him
Annie: Thanks guys
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Reiner: Why did you side with Eren?
Zeke: If I'm being honest it's because Pieck wasn't there when we met and she's 85% of my impulse control
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: I wanted to apologize.
Commander Magath: Good.
Zeke: Let me finish. I wanted to, and then I realized, I’m not sorry.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Annie to Armin: Bro you better shut the fuck up before I look at you one day and feel warm and realize I’ve fallen in love with you bro. I’m serious quit it dude.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath: You're right.
Hange: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa: I was protecting Eren. I will always protect Eren.
*Later*
Mikasa: I’m on my way to murder Eren!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Mikasa: *punches Reiner*
Hange: Jeez, this isn’t what I meant by "express your feelings"!
Levi: Let them, I wanna see Reiner get his ass handed to him.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hange: What took you so long to answer your phone?
Levi: My fingers were covered in blood and the touch screen wouldn’t work.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Commander Magath, whispering: I think Levi has got a lot of underlying hostility.
Hange, whispering too: Underlying?
Levi, loudly: I'LL PAINT THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD, ZEKE!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Falco: You have no idea what I'm capable of!
Colt: Don't take it personally, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Annie: You see this? This is my “I don’t care” face.
Reiner: That’s your everyday face.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Marcel: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?
Pieck: Accept my fate.
Annie: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.
Porco: Something illegal.
Zeke: I would message ten people saying that if they didn't forward the message to 10 other people, I would die tomorrow.
Reiner: What the hell is wrong with you?
Annie: That's fucking awesome. Can I change my answer?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke: I came here to kick ass and drink coffee, and I'm all out of coffee!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zeke, about Yelena: Love my terrible wife who wants to kill me so bad
Zeke: I come home from work everyday and narrowly dodge one of her many death traps. When we eat dinner ill smile and say "poison again?" and she will shrug mischevously but we both know it is very much poison
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Employee: So what do you guys want today?
Zeke, head in hands: For the Gods and their wretched heart to be consumed whole by this filthy wor-
Pieck: He wants a bagel
Zeke: And thus the loathing I feel be eradicated along with these disgusting emoti-
Pieck: Nevermind actually, make that two bagels
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sasha: i love 3D glaphics don't get me wrong but it pisses me off that 3D is the AAA standard now, i wish bigger studios were still making more big budget 2D games and shit. shoutout to indie devs for keeping the beauty of it all alive lol
Connie: glaphics
Jean: glaphics
Armin: glaphics
Sasha: it was on purpose. i know cooler words than all you im not owned. i always say glaphics all the time forever
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
More incorrect quotes
Btw, this scene where Eren's dying was created by Stanzi on Youtube, here's the video : https://youtube.com/shorts/VMd-DWowzSg? These are hilarious, I highly recommend! Just thought it was worth a mention since I literally ripped it off xD
#aot#attack on titan#snk#shingeki no kyogin#eren yaeger#zeke yaeger#levi ackerman#gabi braun#sasha braus#annie leonhardt#pieck finger#porco galliard#mikasa ackerman#eremika#armin arlert#jikupiku#reiner braun#falco grice#theo magath#hange zoe#historia reiss#erwin smith#aruani
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Eddie Munson x Goth! reader, part 3
Masterlist
(Quick note from author : thank you for the likes and reblogs, I'm happy you like my fic <3 idk how many parts this will have, but it will be long lol)
Note : y/n repeated one year, so she’s 18, Eddie’s supposed to be 19-20. y/n’s shorter than Eddie
Eddie is going nuts inside.
He has this gorgeous girl, all dressed in black, looking like a vampire queen, just sitting next to him, and talking to him. Wait, what did she said?
y/n : “could you show me ?”
Eddie : “... sorry, what ?”
y/n : “pay attention, loverboy” she says laughing slowly “I asked if you could show me where these classes are after lunch ? If you got time of course”
Eddie : “I’ll show you everywhere I know with pleasure, my dear” he said with a grin
y/n giggled and finished her lunch while they all kept talking and eating together. The bell rang, so everyone started to walk to their classes, and y/n and Eddie walked together, as Eddie showed her around where everything was. They arrived in front of a class, and they both checked y/n’s timetable paper she received :
Eddie : “Hey, we have some classes together tomorrow !”
y/n : “Really ? oh that’s amazing, I’m so happy !” she said, gleaming. “We can sit together ?”
Eddie, grinning : “Do you really want to start making friends with the freak l/n ?” y/n, laughing : “If you are a freak, then I am the Queen of freaks. Seriously, did you look at me ?”
Eddie, under his breath : “All day long...”, then louder “Of course my dear, and you look great ! and I’m just a fool in comparison to her Majesty” he says, bowing dramatically.
y/n laughs with him : “you’re really fun, Eddie Munson. See you in English then.”
She winked and walked away. Eddie looked at her until she disappeared from his sight. “I’m fucked” he thought, while having hearts in his eyes.
The rest of the day went by, and y/n couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie. Was he really the only alternative person here ? She didn’t mind actually, and she thought he was cute... She kept having criticism from her teachers based upon her look, as well as dumb comments from her peers. 5 pm finally arrived as the bell rang, and everyone left high school. y/n arrived outside, and with no surprise, the whole Hellfire club was waiting for her. She laughed softly and ran up to them.
y/n : “don’t tell me you were waiting on me you guys ?”
Mike : “well...”
Eddie : “You are the Queen of freaks, so your peasants must wait for you right ?”
y/n looked at him, surprised, but then bursted into laughter, followed by everyone.
y/n : “well, what does these “peasants” like to do after school?”
Everyone’s eyes gleamed and started to have stars in them. Imagine having this GIRL wanting to hangout with THEM ??? it was going to be the best year of their lives.
Dustin : “It depends, usually we reunite to play DnD campaigns.”
y/n : “Oh okay, on my end I like playing some music, or do shenanigans.” she giggled
Eddie : “You play music ?”
y/n : “yes, I play the guitar and synth.”
Mike and Dustin giggled watching Eddie literally creaming his pants, because they knew it was basically his dream girl. She just missed the DnD aspect, but she could still learn it.
Eddie : “Reallyyyyy? I play the guitar too ! We all,” he turned around to show the members of Corroded Coffin “we all play in a band together !”
y/n : “oh my, that’s awesome ! I would love to see you play !”
Gareth : “We’re not professionals...”
y/n : “yet” she said with a wink “you have to start somewhere. But I still want to hear you, if you want of course”
Eddie : “it would be an honor to play for the queen of freaks” he said while dropping on one knee and bowing dramatically
y/n laughed and said : “please stand up, I'm not your queen”
Jeff : “we don’t mind y/n” he said grinning
y/n looked around her, seeing all the boys waiting for her response.
y/n : “well, what are y’all doing tonight ? I’m still the newbie here, and I don’t know where the fun happens in Hawkins”
Mike : “Well... nothing much ?”
Eddie : “We could go to the arcade ? we don’t have band rehearsals nor DnD campaign tonight.”
Keith : “I’m in !”
Dustin : “I have to ask my mom beforehand... it’s a weekday, so I don’t think me and Mike can be out for long”
y/n : “you know what ? let’s get home first, eat something, and then we can all meet somewhere and decide what we’ll do there ? let’s say... right here, at 7:30 pm ?”
Eddie : “sounds good to me.”
Everyone else : “me too”
A car pulled over not very far away, visibly waiting.
Mike ; “that’s my sister... we have to go Dustin. We’ll try to come, but I don’t know if we will...”
y/n : “no worries, we can still do something on the weekends !” she said smiling, messing with Mike’s hair
Dustin : “We’ll let you know, Eddie !”
Eddie : “yeah, yeah. You have my number.”
Mike and Dustin : “bye guys ! Bye y/n !”
They waved while running to Nancy’s car.
y/n waved at them smiling. She then turned around and walked a few feet to pick up her bike but saw that it was vandalized. They pierced the tires, and spray painted profanities, such as “Babylon’s whore” or “freak”. Of course someone had to do that, because she was a “freak”. They could at least have waited a few days... why on her first day ? She laughed and picked it up anyways. Eddie saw what was happening, and his eyebrows frowned. She came back to the boys again, still laughing a bit, because she was like that :
y/n : “well, I got Hawkins High greetings” she said, pointing her bike
Eddie, muttering under his breath : “Motherfuckers...”
Keith : “They’re assholes... I’m sorry this happened to you y/n...”
y/n : “no worries, I’ve had it worse. It’s just annoying, I’m going to have to walk back home with the bike”
Gareth saw an opportunity, and while his cheeks were already pink just from y/n’s presence, his whole face became quickly red :
Gareth : “I...uh... I can drive you back home if you want”
Eddie snapped his neck towards him so fast, it almost broke. Damn, how dared he ? Eddie had the same idea in his mind, but Gareth was quicker... something, he needed something so y/n would pick him and not Gareth ! something... something.... anything !
Gareth : “I-I mean... I have Jeff and Keith with me, but there’s one seat for y-you”
y/n, blushing slightly : “thank you Gareth, but I'll walk... and I still have my bike to bring back with me...”
Eddie : “I have a van, you can put your bike in the trunk, there’s plenty of space”
Damn, Eddie thought, that was a genius idea.
y/n : “oh... I don’t want to be a burden...”
Eddie, grinning : “No worries. I... We, asked so it’s not a burden” he said, while quickly glancing at Gareth, who was still very red.
y/n : “If you have a van... then it’ll do I guess ?” She then turned to Gareth “thank you very much for the offer though, I appreciate it. That’s very kind of you” she said as she gave him her best smile.
Gareth thought he was going to die right there. Never a girl has been so nice and charming with him. Even if she declined, and decided to go with Eddie, he was still happy that he got her attention. Eddie on the other hand was melting inside. They are going to be alone in his car, like, WHAT ? Eddie Munson and a GIRL ? alone in his car ? plus the most badass girl he ever saw in his life ?
As everyone greeted goodbye, and quickly told each other about the time and location meeting again, Eddie and y/n walked to Eddie’s van. While Eddie was charging the van with y/n’s bike, she thought of this first day in Hawkins High. She glanced at Eddie and thought of him and the boys. They were so nice to her...
y/n : “... Eddie ?”
Eddie, quickly turning around to look at her : “Yes my dear ?” he was still trying to put the bike inside, but was too interested in y/n to keep doing it
y/n : “... you guys don’t have to be super nice to me because I'm a girl and... because I’m a freak”
Eddie looked at you, kind of unsure of what you meant. He finally put your bike inside his trunk, and closed the back doors. He then turned around and looked at you, with his eyebrows furrowed.
Eddie : “Have you seen us ? We’re literally considered the plague of Hawkins High. No one wants to be even seen next to us, so you can imagine it was a shock and we saw you coming for US at lunch.”
His grin came back, as well as the gleam in his eyes. He started making moves with his hands while talking :
Eddie : “YOU have been super nice to all of us all day long. So nice that I think Gareth has fallen in love with you, and literally creamed his pants when you gave him that smile”
y/n laughed, making Eddie smile even more.
Eddie : “You were a lost sheep. Just like all of us. And we all stand together, because we’re freaks. But most importantly, because we’re friends.”
y/n looking up at Eddie : “so that’s what we are now Eddie ? friends ?”
She looked at him with her beautiful e/c eyes covered in liner, planting her gaze into Eddie’s deep brown eyes. At this exact moment, it struck him. Just like a lightning bolt.
If he wasn’t sure before, now he could tell what it was.
It was love.
#Eddie Munson x goth! reader#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson x y/n#eddie munson#eddie munson fluff#stranger things fanfic#Eddie Munson fanfic#Eddie Munson fic#Eddie Munson x goth reader
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So, I got bored and decided to try and put together my thoughts on every prisoner’s crimes as of the end of Trial 1. Since this is gonna be insanely long, I’m splitting it into five parts. So we’re starting with the reputation duo!
Prisoner 001: Akio Miyagawa
Okay, so a lot of this has pretty much been laid out already, but I might as well recap and add in what I think.
So, Akio used to be the most popular kid in his school. Presumably this was in the alpha bitch sense, and not because people actually liked him.
Then some other kid (who I’ll call Hikaru because typing “the victim” will drive me nuts) came along and usurped Akio’s popularity by not having a shit personality. Akio took this about as well as you’d expect (read: not at all), and began plotting revenge with the help of another student who had a crush on him. (I’ll just call this student “the accomplice”.)
The two then kidnapped Hikaru and took him to a basement, where he was either hung or strangled to death with a rope. Either way, the accomplice is the one who actually did the deed, so Akio insists it’s the accomplice who’s responsible and not him, despite the fact the whole thing was his idea.
Now we’re getting into speculation, but I suspect they dumped the body somewhere it would be found: executions are usually public, after all. Regardless of whether Hikaru’s body was found or not, Akio still hasn’t gotten his status back: either the school’s too busy mourning Hikaru to give a shit about Akio’s ego, or they’re too busy worrying about Hikaru being missing.
Also, Akio’s accomplice seems to have drifted away from him after the murder: maybe he feels guilty about the murder, or maybe he’s mad he didn’t get what he wanted from Akio even after he killed someone for him, or maybe it’s a secret third thing. Who knows.
Prisoner 002: Aimi Hanasaki
Okay, I am a lot less confident about this one. Let’s go over everything we know about Aimi’s murder:
Aimi was bullied and generally disliked among her classmates, but didn’t really notice up until she did.
The Undercover murder pic shows Aimi dancing with Miki and laughing whole holding a knife to her throat.
Her murder took place at an amusement park.
She claims that her victim wasn’t “one of [her] classmates”.
Aimi probably had an accomplice, who told her “that it would be nice if they all just died”.
Her Undercover lyric is “I have everything I want, but why do I want to cry so much? If you're not my friend, you don't deserve to even breathe”.
Murder is her only crime, but she changes the topic whenever somebody asks how many people she killed.
So, I think we can infer she killed multiple of her classmates at an amusement park with the help of an accomplice, who gave her the idea to go that far in the first place. That’d also draw a nice parallel with Akio re: use of an accomplice - Akio came up with the idea and got an accomplice to do the bulk of the work, while Aimi probably did the bulk of the work but had an accomplice who gave her the idea.
Motive was probably the realization her classmates disliked her: we see her realize it over the course of her MV, up until a particularly cruel prank leaves her drenched in red paint and laughing louder than everyone else. This probably got pushed further when her accomplice suggested murder. Judging by the Undercover kill screen, the murder weapon was a knife, and she’s laughing and dancing with her victim: maybe it was some sort of attempt at a hostage situation to force them to be friends with her?
For the ending of the MV: I was initially thinking it could represent Aimi waking up in MILGRAM after her murder, but with Miki saying she thinks she recognizes the place, it definitely isn’t anywhere in MILGRAM, or both would have pegged it immediately. My guess is that it’s part of the amusement park on her placard (the card she’d be holding in Undercover)?
Also, re: the Halloween mask: this is a bit out-there, but maybe Aimi and/or her accomplice used it as a disguise? Most amusement parks have haunted house attractions, so maybe they used a mask to look like a staff member, or just to hide their face(s) in case any of the victims ended up surviving.
(Coming back to this to add on a new bit from the latest post: Aimi seems to believe she is in fact guilty, or at least that the guards would vote her guilty if they had the full story. She outright says her video must not have shown that much if the guards think she was the victim, and Eiji said she seemed confused after hearing her verdict. So whatever she did, it was probably pretty messed up.)
Anyways, tune in next time for the expectations duo, Shun Ishizu and Naomi Chiba! (Freaking Shun, putting together a theory on his crime took me like all weekend.)
ohh, thank you sm for sending this! :D i love reading people's theories about my prisoners' crimes, it's very fun!
akio's crime really is one of the easiest ones to solve, i think the hardest part to understand is like.. little, but important details, like his relationship with his accomplice (how did they meet, why was akio so important to him, what happened to their relationship after the murder, etc), what happened after the murder and how exactly did the murder go, since akio's undercover scene actually does show the murder method, but.. his murder actually didn't go as planned.
also i should say that even though akio, of course, is still guilty for coming up with the whole plan, his accomplice really was the one who did everything. so when he says that, he's actually not lying.
and yes, akio's accomplice really did leave him after they were done with that boy 😔 right now i can't tell you why, but the reason will be mentioned in akio's t2 trailer voiceline and there will be more information about their relationship (and what happened after the murder) in akio's t2 video.
OH GOD AIMI'S MURDER.. it's somehow both one of the easiest and hardest crimes to understand and i think it's because it depends on who exactly you would consider to be her victim. is it someone she killed herself, without anyone's help? or is it someone she killed with someone's help? is it someone who was killed for her?
akio and aimi's crimes are very fun to think about if you, like, try to solve them at the same time and try to find the similarities (other prisoners' crimes are kinda similar too and not just because of their themes). both of them had accomplices, both of them are in high school, their crimes also have to do something with how they were treated by other students.. however, aimi's murder is much harder to understand because if akio's follower is basically one of the most important side characters, there's almost no information about her accomplice. like, who would even help her with killing her classmates? and when i say that there's almost no information about them, i mean that aimi actually did mention them before. she just did it in such a "normal" way, it would be hard to believe that they were somehow involved.
ohh, now that i think about it, the ending of her mv actually can represent her waking up in milgram! :O though it was supposed to mean something else. and yes, that is actually the amusement park where aimi's murder took place! that's also why miki recognizes it: that park was pretty popular and she knows that place well. and the mask is actually something her accomplice had to wear in case some victims were still alive and they had to "finish the job". their murder method was scary, but there still was a chance of someone surviving.
i'm very excited to hear your theories about other prisoners!
#i love to call what happened to akio and his follower after the murder the “divorce arc” DSHSJSKSK#again. i really want to reveal something about his victim's and his follower's designs but i'll try to stay strong#❔answering asks ❔#👑prisoner 001: miyagawa akio👑#🌸prisoner 002: hanasaki aimi🌸
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Coronet Highlands, Hisui Region, 1804 AC
In the weeks since reaching the Highlands and setting up base camp, Dawn went to work catching pokemon for the pokedex. Rei and Laventon worked with the rest of the Galaxy Team in setting up new camps in the highlands.
Dawn had a heart attack or ten watching Ingo casually doing freestyle cliff climbing up the various cliffsides. The other half of said set of heart attacks was due to seeing the results of the years of said freestyle cliff climbing on Ingo’s physique when he took out his coat for Dawn’s sake due to the highland’s colder climate.
“No thanks! I’m good. I got some snow wear ready for visiting the icelands.” Dawn explained after mentality lambasting herself for her developing aesthetic attraction to someone in front of her. It was sorta different when they were strangers and in a one sided parasocial relationship with a version of him from another reality... “Damn it, puberty.” she muttered to herself. “Uh, how old are you exactly? Given the whole… two bodies thing?”
“I can sense your unease about the situation. I’m somewhere in my forties now, not sure on the exact number. I’ve been here for almost a decade. How… how long was I gone, from my brother? I’m sure the date of the posts you’re getting on your phone imply a sort of present period we would be returning to once your true role here is complete.” Ingo asked as he looked around for Lady Sneasler.
“Well, almost a year, I guess? The internet time period I’m connected to isn’t really flowing quickly or at all, does give me a lot of time to catch up on my reading at least, but still. At the rate we’re going, I’ll be a year older than my friends.”
“I’m basically a decade older than my twin brother. Given the memories I can remember of both myself and Reshiram, I can imagine the trouble that’ll cause once Emmet realizes I’m a lot older now, especially since he has access to the progenitor Zekrom’s power.”
“I’m sure he won’t cause that much of an issue, right?”
“Unova has various distortion spots due to the twin heroes arguing that slowly but surely resulted in the splitting of the Original Dragon. I don’t remember anything before the progenitor Reshiram’s creation but I remember the arguing after the splitting.” Ingo’s normal frown turned much deeper and more annoyed. “Said arguing resulted in the distortions, even tiny reality warps for the most inane differences in opinion… why my mind made me remember very clearly the fact that the progenitor Reshiram and Zekrom having to share a big bowl of snow based dessert only to argue over the flavor and turning the Original Dragon’s crystal bowl into the mythical Crystal Cauldron of Unovan myth I have no idea.”
“Minds are weird like that. At least you’re remembering more.”
“At least. Still, at least I have proof that I am different from the progenitor Reshiram. They apparently like rose water and dried dates, while the progenitor Zekrom wanted saffron and nuts. I prefer vanilla ice cream, in terms of cold desserts.”
“I see.” Dawn said with a chuckle. “Wait, what do you mean by my true role?”
Ingo glanced at her, his silvery eyes momentarily surrounded by a blue glow.
“I have no idea what the real goal is but I have the gut feeling that the act of completing the pokedex is ultimately circumstantial, that the true reason why you were sent here would be solved on the way of completing the pokedex.”
“I mean, the weird lightning strikes and the giant crack over Mount Coronet isn’t enough of a sign?”
Ingo chuckled a bit.
“Still, we don’t know the real reason why we were sent here. From what you told me of your experience, it was a lot different from mine. The Original One spoke to you and gave you your task. I can’t recall what happened through the rift that sent me here all those years ago.”
Before Dawn could reply, Lady Sneasler arrived with her odd backpack basket.
“Ah, seems we’re ready to board the next station. Lady Sneasler is ready to allow herself to be your guide through the cliffs along Hisui.”
The relatively simple flute playing went without fanfare.
“I wonder how the Nobles could tell where and who’s calling them when someone plays the same tune.”
“It’s not the same tune. Not in a deeper sense.” Ingo replied. “It’s like how pokemon could communicate with each other. They speak their emotions out and they understand it, not like humans in how we communicate with ideas in our words. That and they have the blessing of Sinnoh through them, which runs in a similarly deeper level than just through blood. Some sort of ritual is done, I heard from elders, that awakens the power within them, though given Lord Arcanine’s ascension, I feel that it’s less about the ritual and more about it being awakened in a different way. The noble titles were passed down through the millennia after all. If every child of a noble pokemon were themselves nobles, Hisui would have been filled with a multitude of nobles by now.”
“You got a point there. So, how does Lady Sneasler guide people through the cliffs?” Dawn asked as Lady Sneasler waved at Dawn as she placed the basket down and opened it up.
“Hop in and she’ll carry you up.”
Dawn then looked at him as if he grew feathers.
“I’m sorry. Lady Sneasler carries you in the basket on her back?”
“It’s a surprisingly tough and comfy basket. Also useful in going through the wilderness in secret since to other pokemon, it’s just Lady Sneasler in her uniform doing her rounds. The basket’s also useful in carrying berries for the kits, and even carrying the kits around if she needed to be quick. I’m pretty sure the Ancient Celesticans used some sort of magic on it and the other equipment of the Noble guide pokemon used given how it’s passed down as well, from what Irida and the Pearl Clan elders told me at least. If it helps, the basket was my way of moving around before I was made a warden and I learned to climb cliffs by myself.”
“I…” Dawn muttered as she placed her hands over her mouth. “Ingo, have you thought of like… a safety harness? Given how high the cliffs you regularly climb are?” she asked but Lady Sneasler picked her up and put her in the basket despite her protests. The noble then patted the basket lid before she lifted the basket backpack up.
“Snea?”
“I… huh, this is very comfy. I imagined it would have some sharp wicker stuff or something. Though I’m not sure about the eye hole given how I’ll end up facing the mountain view from my position.”
“Snea sneas sneasler.” Lady Sneasler said as she hopped a bit, freaking Dawn out a bit. Lady Sneasler chuckled at that.
“Now Dawn, Lady Sneasler will show how safe it is. She’ll climb over the short hillside cliff we were facing to prove it. I’ll follow behind you.”
Dawn did struggle to stay still and keep her mind clear as she found herself imagining the basket ripping open below her and her imagination stretching the short cliff into something vertigo-inducing as Lady Sneasler climbed up.
“Me and my imagination.” she muttered to herself as she pulled out her phone to try to distract herself.
That’s where she noticed the Chirper notifications.
Fortunately, she didn’t jump up at the sudden discovery or scream and freak out Lady Sneasler. She waited until Lady Sneasler plopped the basket down and patted the lid.
“Snea sneas sneasler.”
That’s when Dawn popped out of the basket, eyes still fixed on her phone screen.
Curious, Lady Sneasler went to look at the phone’s screen, noticing the image of the Temple of Sinnoh on it. She then shrugged and waited for her warden to arrive, which he did some seconds later.
“Uh, Dawn? Is something the matter?” Ingo asked as he noticed Dawn standing on the basket, too focused on her phone.
“I… I managed to post something on my Chirper account. We can contact our time!”
Hope stabbed Ingo at the prospect of sending a message to his friends and family in the future.
“B-BRAVOOO!” he foghorned out a shout. Lady Sneasler was surprised given that it was years since he shouted that loud. The Highlands and Icelands are terrible places to make loud noises after all.
“Oh, oh wow, the Chirper videos actually made your shouts quieter.” Dawn muttered out before returning to her phone. “The real issue is the time difference, and I don’t mean the whole past and future situation.” she said as she showed him the Chirper thread while getting off the basket. “I accidentally posted the picture of the Temple of Sinnoh weeks ago yet the Chirper thread has been a few hours since the posting.”
“So we experience more time compared to them. Unfortunate but it makes sense, given how relative space-time is. Better something than nothing.” Ingo said as he went to look at the replies, hoping to find a comment from someone he knew.
“I guess it has something to do with the massive crack in the sky. Might mean it’s a massive space-time distortion opening, which makes sense, but also worrying.” Dawn said as she glanced at the storm clouds over the mountain. “That would mean it’ll result in a distortion at the size of the region. Might even be the reason for the red sky in the future when Team Galactic did their crazy plan for a few hours.” she muttered to herself before she realized something. “Quick, we should get a selfie! Show everyone we’re okay! Lady Sneasler can join in the photo.”
It took a while for Ingo to recall what a selfie was as Dawn struggled to hold the Arc Phone at the side with its camera function. She then practically forced Ingo and Lady Sneasler close together with her in the middle as the camera flashed.
“Perfect!” she said as she posted the photo on her Chirper with a description.
Stuck in the past to do Arceus a favor, I think. Found Ingo! He’s been here for 10 years, compared to my few months. Time’s wonky so it has been weeks on my end since my last post. AMA later on Commit? #TrainTwins
“I- Dawn, is it wise to tell people how long I was stuck here?”
“It’s best to tell people the issue directly instead of going around it and letting it fester. Barry told me that. Besides, if what you said is true, it’s better to let your brother process it instead of dropping the bombshell once we’re back.”
“You got a point there. I just worry about the potential freakout. My brother can go wild without me to ground him, metaphorically speaking. Given that he’s also the progenitor Zekrom, that might be literal now as well.”
“Yeah, we should keep the knowledge of you technically being the progenitor Reshiram to a minimum. Captain Preselle’s a Zekromite and she might have gone against her oath if she knew you were Reshiram Incarnate.”
Dread creeped up on Ingo as he remembered the various church denominations and realized what it meant.
“Oh Dragons, I can imagine my parents being worshiped as the Mother and Father of the Twin Dragons and my childhood home becoming a pilgrimage site.” he groaned.
“Yeah, not to mention your current home and probably Gear Station and the Unovan railway system… we can set that aside for future Ingo to deal with.”
“Of course. Anyway, shifting the tracks to the matter at hand. Did you have a satisfactory climb with Lady Sneasler?”
“It might take some getting used to but I can see the utility. I have to go off the safe routes to find rare pokemon and Sinnoh, I mean, Hisui is very mountainous.”
“That’s good. The other thing is that Warden Melli decided on what your first trial for meeting Lord Electrode is.” he said with some annoyance.
“What sort of trial is it?”
“He convinced me to take the torches I put in the Wayward Cave out as part of some symbolism on light and shadow, either that or a cave orienteering trail.”
“So, no Flash, if I could have a pokemon that uses it?”
“I… I don’t know if Flash was used at this time period. I suddenly recall a disk of some sort?”
“That would be the TMs and HMs, I think. Well, the issue is that the Wayward Cave doesn’t really lead to anywhere? At least, in the future when I explored it.”
“It does have a terminal in this time period.” Ingo helpfully informed. “Though I am worried about the dangers. There’s an alpha crobat and going too deep without a light source can be deathly.”
“I mean, we’re not going to the lower level right? I would use Flash either way.” Dawn said as the trio headed down the hill’s slope before heading to the wagon.
“There’s a lower level?”
“Huh, I guess it’s not explored or found yet.”
“I still urge some caution given that it is a cave system.”
“Of course. Besides, I would likely try to catch the alpha pokemon anyway. Pretty sure I’ve altered Jubilife City history somewhere.” she said as they soon reached the wagon, seeing Volo writing something down on his notebook.
“Hey Volo. Found a new ruin to explore?”
“Indeed I did. There’s clearly a quarry site nearby where the Ancient Celesticans used for their building material. We can go there later if you’re interested.”
“I know Cynthia was curious about where the Ancient Celesticans got their stone. Since I can post on my Chirper while near the space-time crack, I’m sure she’ll be ecstatic to see the quarry site.”
Volo blinked in shock at that.
“C-can you explain?” he managed to ask out. Which she did during a nice meal of curry. Volo was in deep thought about it, barely eating his spicy burger-steak curry.
“Even with the time gap, I… I’m not sure if I want to interact with the future, let alone my wonderful descendant. There’s a difference between hearing about someone and actually meeting them, and well, I don’t want to give false impressions.”
“Don’t worry about it, Volo. I’ll make sure to keep it focused on me and Ingo.” Dawn said as she pulled out her phone to check. “Looks like an hour passed in the future, compared to our couple of hours. Not sure if it’s consistent but well, time has always been a bit wibbly-wobbly. Mom’s asking if I’m well. Got a message from Cynthia asking me to call Lucas and Barry since she couldn’t seem to get a hold of them. Oh dear. They might end up calling both the Diamond and Pearl Clans’ Almighty Sinnoh just to get me. Oh, Ingo! Your brother posted a reply to the photo.” Dawn said as she showed the screen to Ingo.
I am Emmet. Once we rescue you, I am deaging you back to your Ideal age. You are older by ten minutes, not ten years.
Ingo processed the message for a moment.
“May I?” he asked, to which Dawn gave him her phone. He then replied.
This is Warden Ingo. Get used to the Truth of the matter, or are you also going to undo my marriage and all of my kids as well?
He smirked as he sent the reply and returned the phone. Dawn looked at the reply.
“Wait, you’re married!?”
“Yes, to Lady Sneasler and we have many sneasel kits back home.” a beat. “It’s a symbolic thing. The Rite of Wardenship was more like a pledge of service towards the noble, making us equals in a sense. That does mean I’m technically married to my pokemon.” Ingo said with a chuckle though he could see the gears turning in Dawn’s head.
“Is that the reason why the folktale went like that? It got so many interpretations and some people thought it was a literal marriage between humans and pokemon but was it a metaphor we took seriously due to losing the necessary context? Was it even talking about the Rite of Wardenship in the first place?” Dawn muttered out before she realized something.
“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, you can lie?” she said as she glanced at the reply then at Ingo.
“Just because I’m Reshiram Incarnate did not mean I was aware of being Reshiram Incarnate when I was born. I was raised as a human and humans can lie, though I don’t like to lie. It does make me wonder if being Reshiram Incarnate explains why I’m quite skilled in math. Before Lady Sneasler chose me, the Pearl Clan was thinking of making me the clan’s accountant due to how good I am in dealing with conversion rates with the Gingko Guild.”
“Why math? That’s a bit of a swerve there.”
“One, two, three, four. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division. Mathematics is a form of Truth in the world. One can misinterpret the numbers but one plus one will always result in two.”
“Huh. Never thought of it that way.” Dawn muttered as Volo went to focus on his meal.
“It would be difficult to just focus on you and Ingo though.” Volo pointed out. “If I know historians, they would ask for all the details they could get. Can you imagine me somehow getting a way to communicate with the hero of legend? I would go crazy wanting to learn anything for their time period, even something as inane as pottery painting methods.”
“I mean, Cynthia did get into a massive fight over Ancient Celestican pottery patterns and how they made it. The other guy claimed that the patterns represented the alien rulers that brought culture to the Ancient Celestican people. Same guy who claimed that aliens did the building of all of Ancient Celestica’s stone buildings.”
Volo and Ingo looked at Dawn, struggling to understand the leaps of logic on that one.
“Honestly, I would have joined in the fight at how insulting that is.” Volo finally said. “There’s always an idiot, I guess.”
“That is an unfortunate truth, yes.” Ingo agreed.
“Well, looking at the comments, I can see a couple historians asking questions about the Hisui Era, so it looks like you’re spot on there.” Dawn said as she went back on her phone. “Oh, huh, there’s a comment from Elesa. I guess it’s for you.” Dawn said as she gave Ingo her phone.
Ingo, please tell me you’re joking! Emmet’s brewing up a storm, literally! I’m pretty sure he’s blue screening due to his ideal crumbling before the truth of reality. Either that or freaking out at missing out ten years of your life.
“Oh dear. Seems that Emmet has become a bit more unhinged since I was gone.” Ingo muttered as he typed a reply.
I am technically married, Elesa. Becoming a Warden of a Noble pokemon is sort of similar to marriage in this time period.
The response was swift as he saw a burst of rechirps and likes on the reply popping up.
Ok, Cynthia gave us a history lesson and Emmet is angry at you for messing around. He misses you a lot, you big bidoof-fus. He’s still gonna deage you though, once you’re back. I honestly think he’ll use his Zekrom powers.
Ingo instinctively huffed smoke out of his nose in annoyance.
My amnesia may be clearing up due to Dawn’s help but if Emmet dares to alter the Truth of my age, he has another thing coming.
I am Emmet. You had amnesia!? For almost ten years!? Which god should I punch right now!? We’re in Sinnoh and I will beat up Uxie!
Ingo blinked at that, memory flashing in his mind.
“Suddenly remembered the progenitor Zekrom roaring about fighting the gods for the existence of injustice and suffering.”
Volo found himself whistling at that, which caught the attention of Ingo and Dawn.
“I mean, I would honestly follow a god that fights for what they believe is right. A world without suffering… no wonder the Unovans have such a zealous streak.”
“The Reshiramites would claim otherwise. They claim that the progenitor Zekrom being the Lord of Lies, who blinds people in the darkness with flashes of light far from the safety of the flame, leading them into foolish illusions of unrealistic fantasies and impossibilities. The Lord of Lies, of Dreams, of Fantasies, of Make Believe… then again, I would be lying if said dreams, fantasies, and make believe didn’t bring innovation and improvement. Even so, he is my brother, my twin. I can’t say we have a perfect relationship, which sibling has?” Ingo then chuckled. “Sorry, I suddenly remembered the clothing choices Emmet and I went for in our teenage years.”
“Oh, I think I saw that video.” Dawn added. “You wore bright pastels while Emmet went full goth.”
“In hindsight, I wonder if that was our dragon sides wanting us to be in our proper colors.”
“The most frowny pastel and the most happy goth twins.” Dawn joked as she went to grab her phone, searched online, and showed Volo the old picture of the young Jameni twins.
Volo blinked at the sight.
“Wow. One looks like a mess of light colors and the other looks like they just wore black all over like some bad ninja. I honestly couldn’t imagine what you two were talking about before you showed the picture, thanks Dawn.”
Ingo blushed in embarrassment at that.
“Elesa once claimed that she went to master fashion because of our horrible sense of fashion.”
“To be fair, you had no color coordination while Emmet had no clothing and accessory coordination. Black polyester pants, black leather coat, black cotton shirt… meanwhile you look like candy vomit.”
“Ouch, but I remember Elesa saying the same when she first saw us try out our new clothes during our journey.”
“It’s nice to see you getting better on your memories at least.” Dawn said with a smile, to which Ingo smiled back.
Volo smiled for the both of them but it was a sad smile he kept to himself.
A few days later, Dawn and Ingo were at Wayward Cave where the trial was to be held. Dawn was ready to enter but Ingo stopped her, guiding her through the right path, away from the alpha pokemon in the cave and possible weak spots in the cave system that’ll result in a fall to the yet-to-be-discovered lower level of the cave.
It was an unfortunate truth that people disappear in caves and areas with significant cave systems.
Of course, Melli was annoyed at the, in his opinion, blatant favoritism, despite Ingo’s words to the contrary. He then declared that the trial was null and void, and that he’ll think of a proper trial later on.
Dawn was annoyed but focused on working on the pokedex. Ingo felt something off about that, a lie, a withheld truth, and so he secretly followed her for a few days as she went north of Mount Coronet. She soon looked around, seemingly trying to figure something out, before she went south, climbing up the mountain through Lady Sneasler, up towards the Temple of Sinnoh. Worried, Ingo climbed up the cliffs to the temple behind them.
By the time Ingo reached the temple, it was almost dusk and he hid behind the pillars to see Dawn photographing the statues of the first nobles, the pillars, the top of the decorative columns, the ceiling, the floor...
“This is amazing. What sort of Ancient Celestican style the top of the decorative columns came from? There’s elements of Ionica but the top bowl implies a sort of Dorica influence as well.” he heard her say to Lady Sneasler. “I need to photograph the roof, maybe even the frieze…” that was when Ingo made himself appear and coughed to get her attention. He crossed his arms.
“You do know this is a restricted access area?”
“Ah, uh, Ingo, fancy seeing you here?” Dawn tried to sidestep the question. He just raised his eyebrow at that. “Look, this is a massive historical find and with this we could build a replica of the Temple of Sinnoh in our time, if not restore Spear Pillar. We don’t even know what happened to the roof.”
“While I admire the Ideal-” Ingo then stopped himself as he realized that the word had something more to it, like it was somehow capitalized by a slight force of will before he coughed and continued. “You still broke into restricted ground deemed holy to multiple people. If anyone were to find you, it might cause a diplomatic crisis.”
Dawn just groaned at that.
“I know but for all we know, the temple might get destroyed days if not weeks or months from now.”
“Even still, the relations between the Clans and the Galaxy Team are a bit tense due to the rift alone.”
Dawn sighed as she looked at the roof.
“Fine, I’ll go down.” she then began posting the pictures on her Chirper. “After I finish getting as many pictures for future historians. I do need to have a better look at the roof…”
Ingo glanced at Lady Sneasler for help, to which she raised her paw over her mouth and laughed.
“I’m pretty sure Lady Sneasler can’t bring you up with her climbing skills, that and Melli would notice the resulting claw marks on the stone.”
“Ugh, you’re right, and staravia’s not strong enough to carry me with Fly.”
“I’m pretty sure none of the local pokemon are careful enough to allow you to be on their backs to fly even if they trust you completely. There’s a reason why the noble guide pokemon of the Alabaster Icelands grants safe passage through the air, Lord Braviary.”
Dawn gave an annoyed look on her face.
“Seriously? Ugh, of course it’s not that simple.”
“None of the pokemon here interact with humans a lot, less of all the flying types. Falling from a great height because one underestimated either yourself or your pokemon is completely dangerous. I would veto it even if it’s just a few feet up in the air.”
“Veto it? Since when did you become my guardian?” Dawn asked in teenaged annoyance, only for a sudden heat to warm the temple’s cool air. The whites of Ingo’s eyes glow a fiery blue.
“I am the Pearl Clan’s Warden of the Coronet Highlands. I am one of the top pokemon trainers from our time period. I am also Reshiram Incarnate.” he was warm like a hearthfire while as warning as the flame that causes a wildfire. “While you’re here in the Coronet Highlands you are under the protection of its Wardens. Since you challenged Warden Melli for the right to meet, and quell if it comes to it, Lord Electrode, that responsibility falls down to me. Was this responsibility commanded to me by Lady Irida? No. Am I obligated to take care of you like this? No, my duties are to Lady Sneasler and to help any travelers in need. But I am IngGou.”
I am Guide-of-Travelers.
Dawn and Lady Sneasler winced at the way Ingo said his name in an odd growling accent that gave mental images of trails and tracks, the people that travel on them, and the guides and protectors of the travelers.
“And as long as you are on this track, I am to keep you safe until we reach our destination. This is my Truth.”
As Ingo panted and the warm air and blue glow faded, Dawn and Lady Sneasler looked at him in shock and wide eyes. A fire was lit back in Ingo. He could feel it. Compared to before, it was an ember in comparison to the fire burning within him now. It was meaning. It was purpose. It was a self he didn’t realize he was missing until right then.
“W-was… was that… was that draconic just now!?” Dawn said in glee as she ran towards Ingo. “That was amazing! The digitized public grimoires I read talked about how dragon language was all about pushing out willpower upon others or reality but I didn’t realize it meant that.”
“I… I seem to have used my Reshiram power by accident, I think. I… I feel more… alert? No… at ease? No… awake. I feel more awake.”
Dawn became worried as she placed the back of her hand on his forehead while checking online for anything different in Unova.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking if we somehow woke up the progenitor Reshiram way too early and altered history.” After a minute, she sighed in relief and lowered her hand. “Well, you’re warmer than before but no sign of history changing, especially when it comes to Team Plasma since they were the ones to awaken the progenitor Reshiram.”
“I see. Well, back on track, we should go before Warden Melli arrives to clean the Temple and spot you trespassing.”
Dawn sighed.
“Of course, of course.” she said as the three headed back north, climbing down the mountain in the middle of sunset. They must have taken a different route up as they noticed and went down a path they haven’t noticed before.
A cold wind blew as they found themselves in what looked like a snowy field at night. Dawn blinked at that as Lady Sneasler growled, vigilant of her surroundings.
“Did… did we walk into a space-time distortion?” she asked. “It doesn’t feel right.”
“This place… it looks familiar…” Ingo said as he looked up at the night sky. His eyes widened in realization. “Dawn, can you show me that video the Sinnoh museum got from the phone they found? The one with my voice in it?”
Dawn pulled out her phone and the two watched the video then their surroundings.
“Okay, so, are we in the past and we’ll bump into past you or have we ended up a bit later on from you losing your phone? We can’t exactly grab it since it’ll result in a paradox since that’s how your brother found us.”
Before Ingo could reply, Lady Sneasler snarled. Another Ingo, younger with his uniform still in one piece, walked through him. A cold shiver went through the actual Ingo as they watched what’s likely an illusion repeat the same actions as in the video.
The trio then followed the illusion, keeping themselves away when the illusion climbed up a hill to the resulting scare by the Hisuian zoroark and the resulting run down.
“I would then run north and be found by the Pearl Clan.” Ingo said, stating his memory of the events while looking at the hill his phone had probably been resting on and eventually discovered centuries from now. Dawn was more focused on the illusion and checking her phone’s map function.
“Uh, that Ingo’s not going north, he’s going east… deeper into the woods.”
Ingo blinked at that before turning to spot the illusion was indeed running east into the woods. The trio silently agreed to follow the illusion, not noticing the distant eyes of a pair of zorua, one white and one black, looking at them from the hill, until they reached what looked like a space-time distortion before them.
“Wait, a space-time distortion within a space-time distortion?” Dawn said in confusion as she tried to figure out what’s going on. She then turned to Ingo. “Should we go in? I’m not sure if we should go in deeper but the other you went in…”
“Something strange is going on but we can’t find the Truth without heading out into the unknown.” Ingo said before facing Dawn. “Lady Sneasler and I will be with you either way.” he said, placing his hand on her elbow.
Ever so curious, Dawn nodded and took a step into the strange distortion.
The first thing they saw was a blinding flash of grayish dark teal light and the sensation of static and goosebumps through them, before they found themselves in front of a clearing.
At the center of the clearing was a boulder roughly carved into a tombstone with a pile of seemingly freshly laid dirt before it. On the pile of dirt rested a familiar white hat.
Here lies Ingo Tamadensha
A son, a brother, a conductor, a subway master, and a friend
“There is no terminal called End in your life!”
Dawn covered her mouth in shock at the sight, instinctively holding on to Ingo’s arm to prove he’s still with her.
The world then momentarily glitched with a snow of static.
An older Emmet was then before the grave, crying and muttering to himself. His white uniform stained green and brown.
The trio slowly went closer.
“... how… how did I find you months too late?” Emmet then slammed at the ground. “I COMMANDED TIME AND SPACE ITSELF TO FIND YOU!” the trio flinched back from the outburst as Emmet began to laugh at the injustice of it all. “Celebi warned that all possibilities are possible, even one of tragedy and that even she can’t force my timeline to follow certain tracks...” he then stood up and turned to face the mountain with his wide mad eyes. “They say the peak of the mountain rested the Creator, the Original One…” he then turned to face the grave with a too wide grin. “I’ll make this right Ingo, so just wait a little bit longer. We’ll be home soon. I am Emmet. And I like winning more than anything else. It’s the only thing I have left.”
The world then glitched once more with Emmet gone and what looked like the ghost of Ingo floated above his grave, facing the mountain. His frown looked deeper, almost a resigned despair.
“And then the mountain shatters…” the ghost said as the world shook. The trio turned to watch a grayish dark teal crack split Mount Coronet apart like a tree of unreality bursting forth from the ground before vanishing, leaving only a chasm where the mountain once stood and floating pieces of rock. The shattered pieces then floated up into a spiraling storm below a tear that was, and Dawn’s eyes began to hurt at the sight, nothing that was truly nothing. Neither black nor white, her mind struggled to see anything but something similar to television static and visual static tinted magenta. But she could feel that there was something behind that Festering Rupture on reality in the sky, a crack that seemed to reflect the very Coronet Mountain Range in its vast length and width.
Dawn kept staring at the nothingness. Her mind struggled to conceive of anything to fill the vacuum of information and the void of existential reality before her.
She didn’t notice Lady Sneasler glowing gold nor her Ingo glowing blue and white as she saw something in the void of non-existence.
Ingo, on the other hand, watched Dawn’s eyes glow a golden symbol over her pupils and irises, with four lines extending into the whites of her eyes. A circle with two arcs on its left and right, connected by four lines, the same symbol that graced the Temple of Sinnoh’s entrance frieze. He tried to shake her away from the sight of the shattered holy mountain and the sight of the glowing symbol on her eyes being out of sync with her actual eyes as they moved was surreal to see.
“Dawn.” Ingo whispered in his most quiet voice he could even after the years living in Hisui, hoping it’ll snap her out of it.
“What’s this? New fools for Euthymia to play with?” the ghost Ingo said as he turned his blank white eyes at the trio before looking at them in confusion before looking at Ingo even more crestfallen and despondent. “No… Emmet, please… tell me you didn’t…”
“Wait, you noticed us?” Ingo asked the ghost. The ghost looked more confused at them.
“How… how are you not possessed? The last guy who ended up here became Euthymia’s Fool… Is it the glowing?”
“Who is this Euthymia and their fool you’re talking about?”
“Euthymia is more of a what. A living emotion that wants to be more permanent and longer lasting… Well, it’s more accurate to say that they’re an anti-emotion. I’m no medical expert but I think they’re trying to usurp the real euthymia, if that makes sense. The fool is someone who somehow managed to end up in this place and watched this reality that shouldn’t be. Long story short, he’s now under the false euthymia’s control. Something about how he wanted a world without emotion that it latched onto him.”
“W-wait, what?” Dawn said, snapping out of her trance, turning to face the ghost. “Cyrus was here?”
“Cyrus?”
“Cyrus wanted to use Palkia and Dialga, the gods of space and time, to create a universe without spirit but Giratina dragged him into the Distortion World before he could accomplish that… did he end up wherever this place is?”
“The humanoid things here call it Shoth-Ithar, the Festering Rupture, a place where the future devours the past in a cannibalistic frenzy.” the ghost explained. “I lost count of the times I saw what the remnants of the inhabitants of this place did to themselves in each loop. As a ghost, I guess I’m outside their frenzy, then again, as a ghost I don’t have possible descendants to try to devour me.”
“Oh that’s just gross and messed up.” Lady Sneasler said with her arms crossed, shocking everyone else. “What?”
“You can talk? Wait, why are you two glowing?” Dawn asked as she looked at Ingo and Lady Sneasler. Lady Sneasler simply shrugged.
“I figured it’s magic or divine power or how weird this space is.” she said before glancing around. “We should leave before we get the notice of the other things that exist here.”
“Wait, before you go, other me, did my brother… did Emmet dragged you into this? I don’t know what happened to him but I know he’s still trying to get me back…”
“Your Emmet didn’t pull me into this mess as a replacement of you, that, at least, is the Truth.” Ingo said, much to the relief of the ghost. “Something else pulled me here…” he muttered to himself, still struggling to recall what pulled him into Hisui.
The snapping of nearby twigs made them turn to the source of the sound and they saw what could be best described as a humanoid static snow with glowing circles for eyes, watching them from the woods before slowly heading to them.
“It’s the unborn. Run! Before they eat your existence!” ghost Ingo shouted as Ingo noticed the same golden symbol appeared, floating in front of Dawn’s ears, giving the appearance of some mystical earphones. The thing screamed in static, static that Ingo could recognize as non-existent words of a language-that-does-not-exist.
1SG eat-FUT.DECL 2PL!
‘Subject-Verb-Object… first-person-singular… eat-future-tense-declarative-mood… second-person-plural…’ Ingo’s mind quickly filled in the linguistic gaps, knowledge he should not have known.
I will eat you!
The trio ran away from the clearing as the static thing went on all fours to chase after them. Lady Sneasler even picked up Dawn as they ran.
2PL.GEN form… 2PL.GEN history… 2PL.GEN future… 2PL.GEN name… 2PL.EX.GEN all 1SG eat-FUT!
‘Object-Subject-Verb… second-person-plural form… second-person-plural history… second-person-plural future… second-person-plural name… second-person-plural-exclusive all… first-person-singular… eat-future-tense!’
I will eat your form… your history… your future… your name… everything about you!
“Lady Sneasler, don’t fight it close! It’ll eat your existence piece by piece if you do so! Go with long range attacks!”
“If I had known I would need long ranged attacks, I would have learned Hyper Beam ages ago!” Lady Sneasler complained. “Where are we supposed to go!?”
“We need to go back where we entered! Exit the distortion! It’s somewhere through the thick fog!” Dawn shouted.
“What fog?”
“Didn’t you guys notice the fog that moved in? We better hurry, the thing in the fog is silent but it’s gaining speed! Over there! There’s an opening through the fog there!” Dawn pointed at their right.
“Okay, it’s clear that what you're seeing and hearing is completely different from what we’re hearing. I’m hearing noise from some human shaped thing.” Lady Sneasler said as they followed Dawn’s directions.
“I’m hearing what it’s screaming at us.” Ingo supplied. “It wants to eat our existence, to be short. It’s rather verbose and its language seems to be shifting in its structural order.”
“Okay, as much as I want to analyze what’s going on, let’s do it after we escape. Take a left!” Dawn shouted and with a sudden turn, they soon found themselves back out a layer in the distortion. The static noise and screaming suddenly came to an end.
They still ran a good distance away, just in case.
“Okay… good news, it doesn’t seem to exit the deeper distortion.” Dawn said as she pulled out her phone to take some photographs. “I need to warn people about that.” she explained. “‘Distortion within distortion leads to some horror movie fog world with Mount Coronet shattering, a massive rift with giant screaming space Emmet, and a fog monster that eats existence. Good news, it can’t leave the second distortion layer. It’s somewhere north of Coronet.’ and send.”
Lady Sneasler gave a deadpan stare at Ingo.
“Oh right, ‘Also, there’s a ghost Ingo from another reality in said double distortion’. Hmm, anything else should I tell people?”
“Well, we should walk and talk while we can still understand each other. We still need to get away from this weird distortion.” Lady Sneasler said as she looked at her golden glow in curiosity. Dawn simply posted the message on her Chirper as they walked.
“I suggest heading back to the Temple of Sinnoh. This distortion is clearly not like any other distortion.” Ingo said, to everyone else’s agreement, while he looked at his glowing self. Dawn took a picture of the two before showing them the photo.
“Okay, Ingo’s glowing white with blue eyes, which makes sense for Reshiram, and Lady Sneasler’s glowing gold, which is associated with Arceus, so the whole thing with the nobles being blessed by Arceus, I mean, Almighty Sinnoh, has some truth to it.”
“Let’s not forget the golden ring on your eyes and ears that’s the shape of Arceus’ symbol as well.” Ingo pointed out. That made Dawn take a selfie and looked at the resulting photo before using her phone’s camera function as a mirror.
“Oh, oh wow. That is freaky. The ghost Ingo said something about being possessed, so maybe this was some protection from that. Since I see and hear things differently from yours, I probably got memetically protected from any hazardous information, the whole ‘things man was not meant to know’...”
“Honestly, you are so blase about all this.” Lady Sneasler commented. “We just saw a ghost, the holy mountain breaking apart, some thing that’ll probably haunt my nightmares, and we’re glowing and chatting like it’s normal.”
“Lady Sneasler, no offense, but I casually look for human ghosts and weak spots between realms, read through ancient grimoires, and try to practice magic as a hobby.”
“... in that context, that explains a lot about you.”
“What do you mean by ‘a giant space Emmet’?” Ingo asked as he still processed what happened.
“Well, the tear that split the sky in two, I kept looking at it and after a while, I saw flashes of what looked like Emmet screaming, trying to push himself into the world, though he looked very freaky. His bottom half was like a ponyta, I think, and he has multiple arms trying to crawl into the deeper distortion.”
Ingo and Lady Sneasler glanced at each other for a moment.
“We never saw anything like that, though I guess we were more focused on my ghostly double.” he said as they slowly walked up the slope of the mountain.
“Right. We should probably need to head back to Jubilife Village and report to the Galaxy Team. If Cyrus is here and possessed by some eldritch thing to be their puppet, we might need to save him as well.” Dawn said as the closer they reached the peak, the more the glowing faded away.
“Sneas sneasler…” Lady Sneasler said with a nod.
“Ah, it seems that strange effect has faded.” Ingo said, to which Lady Sneasler simply shrugged as they returned to the Temple of Sinnoh in the middle of the day. It was a sudden shift between a cold winter night on the slope and a bright sunny day at the peak.
A glance back revealed that the slope was never there at all.
“Wait, what?” Dawn said as the trio looked at the raised mountain edge on the northern side of the temple. “Where was the slope we used to head down?” she said as she went to feel solid rock that wasn’t there when they went up.
They then hear someone clear their throat.
Nearby was Warden Melli watching the three of them with a cleaning rag and a bucket of water.
“Warden Ingo, you do realize you’re not supposed to bring outsiders to the holy temple? Ugh, did the Pearl Clan not tell you the rules when it came to the Temple of Sinnoh, or has their carefree nature made you disregard the rules?”
Ingo glanced at Dawn and Lady Sneasler for a moment.
“I know the rules, Warden Melli, but since the Galaxy Team is going to be stationed in Hisui among the Clans, I believe it would be for the best to have a representative of the Galaxy Team do their part in maintaining the holy temple. Dawn herself wishes to record the temple as much as possible, hopefully for the chance for the future generations to repair and restore the ruins with the knowledge she passes on.”
Melli looked conflicted for a moment before he huffed.
“Well, even I can’t ignore that logic. Very well, I, the great Melli, would ignore this break in protocol if it means the galaxy grunt pulls her weight in cleaning the dirt off the holy temple’s stonework. Of course, since she has no idea what to do, I will be supervising her actions. The last thing we want is the ancient paint being scrubbed off.” he said as he walked back to the temple.
Dawn sighed and thanked Ingo as the trio went to help clean up the temple. She did glance back at the solid rock where the slope once existed, wondering how it appeared when they were heading down.
A mystery to solve in another time and place.
#lucid twin dragons au#fanfic#world building#pokemon legends arceus#submas#fanfiction#worldbuilding#pokemon fanfic#my writing#submas au#pokemon dawn#pokemon akari#pokemon ingo#subway boss ingo#warden ingo#pokemon melli#sneasler#pokemon emmet#cosmic horror#pokemon volo
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genshin impact characters as my lovely lovely friends~
cw: a little cursing from me bc i love these people very much-
- - -
[koaeel] // kuki shinobu
is honestly just really done with all of us.
trying his best.
is honestly either just spacing out or doesn’t care abt what’s going on.
get’s really smiley when talking about his nerdy interests.
is always busy doing something or the other but somehow always makes time for everyone and everything.
almost cried when i tried to roll on xiao banner because i promised him i would save for kazuha and it freaked him out.
[bananaboi] // childe (main)
can’t go two minutes without making a fucking deez nuts joke.
constantly talks about how much he loves men (is in his ‘im a sigma male’ phase)
we have a love-hate relationship.
actually a hidden softie tho…treasures his siblings and friends more than anything in this world.
swears he hates genshin impact but tolerates me when i rant about it (and does his research on the side so that its not a one sided convo)
[classicalquantum] // zhongli
talks like he’s writing a thesis paper.
is the oldest so is constantly assuming the role of the parent and is the only one with any braincells.
accompanies us younger ones when we go somewhere so that he can make sure we’re safe and sound.
literally my dad.
literally types essays, is always ready to offer advice, and is the smartest person i know.
taught me the bass over zoom in an hour just because i wanted to learn and then we went on to play together at a concert 💀
[pixels] // hu tao
this bitch. he’s freaking radiant in val and still plays with us, his iron friends, just because it’s ‘fun’
sarcastic mf, and honestly, his humor is somehow always on point.
has been through a lot in his past but copes with it through humor and simply not caring about it anymore.
honestly the sweetest person. was willing to stay up till 1 am with me just because i was feeling a little off.
has the weirdest humor, but it’s okay because he literally always carries the vibe…we all adore him honestly <3
is classicalquantum’s younger brother so we constantly hear them cross over each other’s calls and it’s the funniest thing.
[silvyy] // amber
literally my favorite person on this planet.
her humor is somehow always on point and her jokes are honestly so fucking funny.
willing to hear anyone out and offer them a hug… she’s so sweet it’s hard to believe she’s a real person sometimes.
have i mentioned she’s really really funny?
always wishes everyone good morning and good evening, and makes sure to check in on anyone who may not be feeling great.
so smart. she got a 103/100 on a calc test that the rest of the class averaged a 60% on.
[doesnthavediscord] // venti
he comes to school like once every week, makes a random dick joke and then disappears.
bro please come to school more often, we miss you and your british-self :((
[playsnin10do] // xiao
if you see this, are you okay? do you need a hug??
refuses to believe that we actually enjoy his presence T^T
is either fangirling over anime women or just in his emo phase.
bro we are your friends please open up to us-
cracked at arcade games.
[notsakuraa] // yae miko
their vocabulary is literally just “L + ratio”
makes fun of everyone constantly and is the cheekiest piece of shit.
cares for everyone just shows it in a really weird way…as in shows it never. sometime when we’re really down they might slide into our dms and like send a “keqing loves you” gif but that’s the max.
listens to me rant and carries me in genshin.
constantly smirking and teasing those around them…and always has a comeback for literally everything.
would sell their soul for keqing.
[blues] // albedo
she’s literally albedo irl. she loves art and is constantly sketching in her sketchbook.
flirts with people she feels close to and doesn’t usually say much unless she feels comfortable with you.
her biggest dream is to have pink skin.
can be really blunt and plays genshin with my brother when he needs help with stuff.
has a really really big heart <3
[quandaledingle] // diona
hates everyone and everything.
really sassy.
thinks being a nerd is a cool thing and tells me i can’t be one bc i haven’t taken physics.
so so mean, has no chill with her humor.
nice to us sometimes. tutored me in chem when i was struggling and though she may act like she hates us, she never denies our asks lol
me // [wei] // thoma or bennett
always confused.
has the worst luck and literally always gets baited in valorant.
my friend said “really protective and loyal” and “is somehow always there to listen to problems we have”
unintentionally funny.
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hmmmm thinking again how ellis struggles to take the rest of the world into account when thinking about he & the people he loves. thinking about how without the people he loves hanging in the balance, he would probably run from any world-ending threat. in da:o he keeps going for his sister & though he would never admit it astoria & sometimes maybe even morrigan. in bg3?? i think the idea that his loved ones are out there is enough to keep him going, but when he gets close i think it brings out That Dog in him. i think he would do anything to get back to them, regardless of the consequences inflicted upon the people in the way or maybe even around him depending on their relationship.
was thinking about this specifically because i have been trying to figure out his arc in bg3. I haven't talked it out w jay yet & this is subject to change, but ellis without his sister is a very volatile force. his love grounds him, her audacity humbles him. they both go a little nuts in da:o but they know each other well enough that they can ground each other. it helps, also, that astoria is there & though ellis & she aren't on the best of terms, they can still steal moments when no one is looking & try to reacquaint themselves with the people they are becoming while living in that shadow of who they thought they were.
in bg3??? ellis doesn't really have that support system that keeps him feeling human. he's actually super crazy rough on himself because he see's himself as less than the people around him. on a skill level, he is. a lot of folks got bumped down to level one but he would have started there to begin with because of his sheltered upbringing. all of his knowledge is in theory & he levels it up as he understands how to apply it if that makes sense?? but he doesn't start off with the knowledge & that makes him feel a bit smaller. but the thing is, when ellis feels small he tends to lash out & throw his defenses up
but without the people in front of him, real & alive, it's hard to understand who he is or where he's at beyond that. which I've talked about a little bit with others. he wants to be useful, he wants to learn, he wants to endure. but he's weak!! he's desperate!!! he feels like a cornered animal all of the time & relies on tricks & luck to get him out of trouble.
he thinks his family is out there somewhere but his mental status fluctuates intensely because everyone he knows is new & honestly better equipped to deal w whats going on. no one is ready for it, obviously, but he feels in his mind he's the least ready ( which may or may not be true but it is his perception of it ) & therefore the least valuable which really contrasts how he starts the journey
i think ellis beginning of act one thinks he's a badass. thinks he's gonna make it through the shadowlands & to highever & find/avenge his family. i think he's humbled as soon as he encounters any enemy & has to manage his body's natural responses to danger.
i think that leads down a path of low self-esteem that is intensified by a feeling of isolation / separation from the people he gives a fuck about ( his siblings, his dog, his parents who are Now Dead ). i think this shifts with time. i have a few bg3 verses with others where he makes friends, falls in love & i think having someone to pour his attention into helps with this but when left with his own thoughts it gets sooo messy. it'll be easier to figure out a default worldstate when i get home & am able to play bg3 as him but i am just thinking so hard rn abt how DIFFERENT it is going to be
i think he does bounce back & forth between i am so cool / i am so lame in his head it's so hard to explain at 4am ellis is a complicated dude
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Hello you mrs. mango eater iced coffee drinker bread lover honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag princess😅
Hm so with my second account, it follows the same blogs I follow in the first one. I don't really know how to just follow certain blogs for each account lol cause I tried to see if I can follow people with my second account name but I can't 🤔
But yeah 😁 it is like incorrect quotes, and right now it's mostly focused around Wanda hahaha I am making it mostly funny because I really don't know how to write anything else. I suck at writing things in detail.
Ah I know what you mean. My best friend is the same way, she is constantly cleaning or just playing with her daughter. I think she will have a hard time when my niece goes to preschool soon lol
I say get drunk! It's the end of the year, let go of it ahahaha let go by getting drunk then having a really bad hangover the next day. Hm, maybe I won't give you my other tumblr name, I don't wanna get weird drunk text from you 😂 just kidding
Okay, I'll see if I can find the movie in the store or stream it somewhere 🤔 I am the same way, I hate when people talk to me during the movie. But if I am at home, I always pause the movie so I can make comments lol
I usually don't mind gory movies. I get iffy though when they show something being done to the characters skin or nails. Hahaha! Thats exactly why I can't watch filipino scary movies. I feel like the ghosts or supernatural stuff are actually there and will haunt me.
Hm I don't know either. I never pay attention to ratings until after I watch the movie. Oh actually there is one that people loved but I hate it because it was so bad. It's the cabin in the woods. It's supposed to be scary, but the whole time I was watching it, I kept going what the eff. 😂
Ok, last question for the night. 3 movies or shows that awaken your sexuality or was your sexual awakening. I hope the question made sense.
-CuriousGeorge
Hi hi righty eyebag!
Wow, that was a long nickname plus the princess nickname at the end..😁🤭
Ah i see. So it means ur second account follows mine..i wonder which none is u 🤔 hahahah.
I love incorrect quotes! Some of them can make me really laugh out loud..😅😆 n how they make y/n sometimes stupid but funny n how wanda or nat very patient with y/n. I love it!
Hahaha okay, it's understandable that u dont wanna give me ur tumblr because of not wanting to get drunk text from me. 🤣🤣🤣
Im.not sure if i wanna get drunk. The last time i got drunk, i shared a big bottle of vodka with him n other cocktails, i got so drunk n i felt like shit the next morning.. 🤣
Hahah yeah pls find it n let me know what u think about Knives Out.
Well, that's not fun either if u keep stopping the movie to comment. Just kidding.😆 at least it's bettter than miss the movie because someone is talking. It's still very thoughtful of u.
I will talk in the movie sometimea if we rewatch a movie n the other person already watched it too.
Im like that too with indonesian ghost movie.. i think asian ghosts r described a little more eerily weird.hahaha. n they look scary.
Ah i see.i never really remember movies that i regret watching that people love it.
Oh oh! I remember! I watched Hunger Games Mocking Birds with my friends n they all were excited about it. But i fell asleep watching it.😅 a movie thats called Yesterday also got me bored like hell that i have to stop watching it not even half of movie. The most recent bad movies i watch that people seems to love it is the latest Jurassic Park movies. I even feel like almost 3 hours of my life was wasted 😅 it's just my opinion though, i hv nothing agaisnt the fans of that movie.
Hmm 3 movies that was my gay awakening
1. The Mummy Returns (Rachelle Weisz was sooo hot in it)
2. I Can't Think Straight (the story is quite similar with my story with my ex-gf)
3. Kyss Mig or Kiss me (it's a sweden movie but good story in it.)
4. Iron Man 2 (when Natasha first appeared in MCU)
Whats urs?
Next question
Cheerio!
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Digital Footprint
Pairing: Chris Pontius x fem!reader
Plot: It is thirst tweets time baby, and sometimes treating your Twitter account like a diary can catch up on you in bizarre ways. Which is something Chris has to learn in one way or another (and you can choose how).
ENDING 2
The previous part / Ending 1 (coming soon)
A/N: @pjclapp 's ending is coming soon <3
"So.", Y/N announces as she pulls out the first paper and clears her throat:" '" Johnny Knoxville is a DILF and I want him to fuck me through a wall!" ." Her eyes widen as she turns to her grey-haired friend: "Holy fuck."
Chris chuckles: "That's a powerful start-." "I mean what they said is true!", Johnny chimes in and Steveo starts to laugh. "I remember just seeing people go nuts online over your daddy shirt, the one you wear in 'Forever'."
Johnny nods: "What can I say, I love being one." The y/h/ced woman rolls her eyes sarcastically before putting her hand back into the box: "Let's continue, shall we? "I read somewhere that Steveo started doing stunts because he wanted his ex-girlfriend to take him back and to say that it would have worked on me real quick is something everyone can quote me on. Steveo, babe, if you read this, I am free this afternoon!" ."
As soon as she completed the tweet and throws the piece of paper on the floor Steveo's low laugh fills the room:"Oh my god." Chris joins in as he spins on his chair: "The people are nasty and I love it!"
“Chris, this one’s for you!”, Y/N let’s out and the long haired man turns to face her, a small blush covers his cheeks as he watches her read the tweet out loud:" "Chris Ponitus is thicc and he is rugged and rough and i just know- i can feel it in my bones- that he fucks that way too." Jesus fucking christ!" Chris simply nods into the camera while a grin covers his features:"You're absolitely right!"
Y/N shakes her head but feels how her stomach starts to tingle softly at the thought of that, and while the three guys discuss Chris' penis she takes a deep breath- hoping that no one would see her subtle reaction.
"I cannot believe, that none of the guys ever made a move on Y/N, I mean look at her, she is drop dead gorgeous and her being the juice girl is so ICONIC and she defenitly is THE MOMENT!!!" I know none of the guys ever approached me in that way, I still cannot believe that either.”
She winks into the camera making the guys laugh.
Someone from behind the camera unexpectedly speaks up: "We actually found a couple of tweets written by the Jackass guys about you." Y/N's eyes widen as she gets passed a second box: "Are you serious?!"
She glances at her friends who are looking at her with a rather nervous expression. “I literally have no idea what I wrote.”, Johnny confesses and covers his mouth to suppress a giggle. Steveo nods:” Yeah, dude, me either. It could be anything.” Only Chris stays silent.
Y/N clears her throat:”Well, okay. H-Here I go.”, she says and puts her now slightly sweaty hand into the box and when she pulls it out she chuckles:”Let’s see- this one is from 2014 and it’s by Johnny.” Johnny turns on his chair, so that his back is facing his best friend:”Oh, no.”
“ “MTV occasionally has Jackass reruns and I always forget how hot Y/N looks covered in tomato juice even though her poster is literally above my bed.” Oh my god, you had a poster as well?!”, Y/N shrieks and throws her head back to laugh out loud.
The infamous tomato poster was sold by MTV throughout the 2000s. They sold it originally to raise money for cancer, but it, later on, got turned into stickers and it was even on the backside of the Jackass DVDs. To this day, Y/N still receives messages and letters from (now grown) men who claim that she was their first celebrity crush (and the first person they masturbated to).
“Of course, I think they gave them to us for free-.”, he explains and Y/N rolls her eyes. “They were sold for a good cause and you didn’t even pay for it, that is insulting .” Her hand glides back into the box:” This one is by Steveo, from 2015. “I have a confession to make, most of my ideas for the second jackass movie were involving three things: y/n + a white shirt + water. tons of water.” Oh my god, you pervert.” Y/N laughs and throws the piece of paper towards her friends.
Meanwhile Chris continues to stay silent.
“Okay, one last piece of paper.”, Y/N announces and puts the box onto the ground before looking at the piece of paper:”It’s Johnny again, it’s from 2013 “The guys and i have a bet going about how long it will take for chris to tell y/n he has a crush on her, it’s been over a decade now so i think probably never but you never know, right?” Oh…” Y/N swallows thickly and Johnny scratches the back of his head.
”I forgot about that one.”
The rest of the taping goes by smoothly, even though a weird tension is building up between the four friends.
As soon as they the man behind the camera announces ‘cut’ Chris gets up. “I’m so sorry.”, Johnny declares while he follows him to the dressing room:” I was probably super drunk when I wrote that and - oh man, I'm really sorry!” But his friend makes a fast hand motion indicating that Johnny shouldn’t worry about it.
A knock makes both men turn their heads. It’s Y/N. The y/h/ced woman stands in the doorframe and looks at Chris. “Hey.”, she lets out and an awkward smile decorates her lips:” Can I talk to you for a moment?” Johnny nods at his friend before he rapidly walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
Y/N walks over to Chris and sits down on the couch next to him. For a minute both of them remain speechless. “So.”, she says and clears her throat:” You had-.” “Have.”, Chris interrupts her, and Y/N nods while a blush covers her cheeks. “Have a crush on me.”, she begins to play with the zipper of her hoodie:” Really? Still?” He doesn’t respond and once again silence crams the dressing room.
“So… you wanna grab something to eat?”, Y/N asks and her friend furrows his eyebrows. “What?” The woman chuckles and a sweet smile emerges on her lips.
“Have you seen Y/N and Chris?”, Steveo inquires as he joins Johnny in the parking lot outside of the Buzzfeed building. But he simply shakes his head:” I left them alone to talk… man, I feel so terrible.” Steveo sighs and out of the corner of his eye he can notice how Chris and Y/N walk out of the door and towards them.
“Hey you guys.”, Y/N announces and smiles at the worried looking Johnny:”Chris and I decided to go and grab some lunch together.” Steveo’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say something, but when no words come out he shuts it again. “Oh my- yea, sure!”, Johnny lets out and nudges Steveo:” We-We’ll just leave, I guess. You two have fun!”
They watch how the two leave before Johnny nudges Steveo once more:” That makes 10$, please.”
#angst#x reader#fluff#imagine#jackass#johnny knoxville#chris pontius#steve o#jackass forever#chris pontius fanfiction#chris pontius imagine#chris pontius x reader#chris pontius angst#jackass ff#jackass imagine
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We all know how looks can be deceiving right? I’d love to request head cannons of Kuroo, Bokuto, Iwaizumi, Konoha, Terushima, and Atsumu with a gf that’s gifted with that super-soaker, wet-wet pussy, a pro at riding that dick, and has the gwak gwak thotty throat slobber 9000 but she is so shy, cute, and innocent at first glance. She looks like the soft-spoken librarian but when they get down and dirty, she puts her body to work and these bois just don’t know how to act from how amazing she is. Let’s say they teased her too much, so she revoked their sex privileges for a few days (not knowing how addicted these guys are on her body). Desperate bois are best bois 😈
:o
i’m shell shocked anon, you’ve blown my mind
Cw: hair pulling, super WAP, kinda fem dom but not really, severe pussy-whipped men
Kuroo
firstly, he thought you were the innocent type up until you sucked him off for the first time
Honestly, he thought you were a total virgin prude
It wasn't really his fault, you two had met as lab partners for an AP chemistry class
You know, a class full of nerds and people he just assumed would get a job and married when they were thirty
Looking back he should have caught on after seeing you unconsciously jerking of a test tube
But, contrary to popular belief, kuroo is not the social cue master
After a few months of dating, you guys were just a horny time-bomb
Ahh~ the first blow-job, one for the books
He should have known it was going to be good just from the way you were unzipping his jeans, was it normal to almost cum just for your girlfriend palming you?
When you did get his dick out and had it all the way down your throat within the minute, he really did think you were a godsend
He didn't even know what you were doing with his balls, but whatever it was it was working
You didn’t gag or cough, even when he grabbed that back of your head and practically face-fucking you
(the real kicker was when you licked your lips after he came and gave him that small fucking smirk, mans was done for and he knew it)
Even with all that, nothing, and I mean nothing compares to the first time you guys went at it
when I say that you guy made out for five minutes when he went under your panties and felt the pacific ocean in your panties
He was about to propose right there (and about to cum in his pants for the thousandth time)
He didn't need to but he still rubbed a few circles around your clit, but apparently, you were ready enough
Considering you grabbed his dick and fully sunk onto him in one motion
Poor baby didn't know what hit him
You had to have done this before, and if he hadn't met you in class he would have been sure you slept around and learned everything in the book
You would clench every time your sims met and- AND THAT THINGS WITH HIS BALLS AGAIN
His mind was bungled, especially after you had both come and you fell onto his chest going back to the shy and sweet version he knew you as.
What the hell was that????
Was he fucking you or were you fucking him?? Because at this point he didn't even care
After that experience, you fucked like bunnies, all the time, even in school more than a few times.
And we all know kuroo can't shut his mouth
And he always teases you about how cute and mouse like you are outside the bedroom and how it's like he’s dating two different girls
....that hit a nerve...
Two different girls??? Well he’ll just have to endure one girl until he realizes what a blessing you are
5 days, 120 hours, 7,200 minutes, and 432,000 seconds, that's how long he lasted
He was going insane, and so he explained that he didn't mean it in a bad way and that he loved how you acted
Forgiving him you rewarded the poor cat boy, 5 rounds for five days
(he didn't want to admit it but he’s pretty sure his dick would have fallen off if you didn't relent when you did)
(he just didn't want to admit that he was pussy-whipped)
Bokuto
You actually had met at a library
One of his teachers wanted him to get a bit of extra tutoring and volunteered you for the job.
You had hit it off great! Personality-wise
(you’ll never tell him but it was frustrating that he clearly didn't understand anything you were telling him)
And you were so sweet and cute, and such a good teacher
He would know that if he wasn't too busy just staring at you and thinking about you and thinking about what you like and what you wear outside of school
(or how good your lips look, or how your thighs look so soft, or that when you get up he can see under your skirt.)
Your guy’s first time was an experience
(bokuto is the cunny easting master, don't call me out)
More cunny juice = more food for owl man
He was excited, somewhere in his mind he knew that it was gonna get better from then on
He wasn't wrong either, although he didn't let your mouth near his dick just yet, he knew that would be good considering the ‘art’ you've created on his neck
The true fuckary started with him on top, but the second he was in you he...froze
Poor baby was shell shocked, you felt better than he had thought, and he just slumped over, you thought he came but he wasn’t ready for it to end so soon
He just sat there for a few minutes, fucked out, before you just decided to flip you both over
That was more his speed at the moment
So he grabbed onto your hips for dear life and you got working
Within two minutes the two of you had created a pool of juices on his bed (bokuto had a lot of precum ok), not that he really cared
You were not competing with anyone but he already had you 2 to 0
(point 1 for the meal and point 2 for being an Olympic dick-rider)
I am also a firm believer that bokuto thrusts up, he just can't help it
You are too addictive, or the way you ground onto him in between every bounce was addictive
I also don't believe that you could even truly deny bokuto sex, he was good at guilt-tripping and he was soooooo adorable
(not to mention the puppy dog eyes he does that could convince good to do his will)
So I’m sure the only way he wouldn't get sex would be no nut November.
(aka the devil's month of torture, actually not month, week give or take)
This year it just happens that he set a new record, 8 days
He went a whole 8 days without trying for sex
Truly he went about 10 days before he stopped begging and just took matters into his own hands
(under enough pressure Bokuto become a hard dom and no one can say otherwise)
The entire time he was telling you how pretty you were and how well your pussy takes him and that you had no ‘right’ to tell him he couldn’t have sex
He even gained a new phrase “this pussy belongs to me”
You were going to have to set some things straight once he was done ;)
Iwaizumi
You were on the student council, it felt sacrilegious to think anything but pure thoughts about anyone on the council
(that didn't really stop him)
honestly, from the moment his crush festered he wanted to ruin your little innocent vibe
You always smiled so sweetly at everyone, and just seemed like a true goody two shoes.
And that point seemed to have been correct when you began to date
Until! The fateful day where his perceived innocent girlfriend pulled a full 180 on him!
Firstly, you had offered, out of the blue, to suck him off in the middle of the movie you were watching.
Second, he asked if you knew how, and you giggled at him with that smile he loved so much
Thirdly, when you did get his dick out, you swirled some of the pre-cum on his tip with your thumb, he started getting a bit suspicious
Lastly, you completely swallowed him down, face pressing on his hip, cheeks hollowed.
That’s when he realized that you did know what you were doing
(that also arouse the thought that you had been with someone else, which was counteracted with the fact that you knew how to suck dick by practicing on hair brushed and popsicles)
((it also helped that you barely had a gag reflex))
Truly trying to put that to the test, dom iwa came right out, grabbing your hair and telling you to suck harder
And you impressed the man, to say the least
After that he had to fuck you, he really just had too
For the first time, he went with a solid missionary, just to test that waters
He didn’t think anyone's pussy should feel like that, but since you were his it was ok
All was well he was lost in the feeling of your pussy and the deciding moment was when you pulled him against you and started to grind your body onto his
You were putting a whole lot of body into it too, and you were so soft, and unless he wanted to cum early something was going to have to change
So he flipped and changed to doggy style, which made thighs worse???
From there you got tighter and he could see all of the wetness drips from your fold onto the sheets
Yup, you were the one for him
(solidified when he pulled your hair and you moaned like a street whore)
As for the no sex thing, that was a ride
It started when Makki asked you if you were always dripping for iwa
And after a week of no sex, he confessed to letting them on his phone and watching a recording of one of your nightly escapades and he was sorry
(and he just wanted to show them what they were missing, y’know brag a bit)
That was, and he says the only time, he let you try to dom him
You truly were the most amazing woman in the world
Konoha
( i made him kind of an ass lol sorry)
You wee the girl who sat next to him in class
(not to be mean, but he thought you were a nerd)
You always had your uniform covering everything and you were always playing with your short sleeves
You raised your hand a lot in class, always had a pencil to borrow
He just assumed that you had cobwebs in your pussy
Proven wrong at one of the volleyball teams parties, you had apparently been dragged there by a friend (surprising)
And you both were dragged onto some weird spin the bottle game
The bottle would spring and someone would draw an action from this jar and the two people would have to do it in a bedroom in the house
Seeing as that’’s how fate goes you and him were chosen
A blow-job card was chosen
And he laughed with a friend about how you wouldn’t know what to do
Mistake, that struck a real nerve, was this guy for real?
Oh hell no
Being the baddie you were, you walked to him, grabbed him by the arm, and locked lips, breaking away after a moment you asked if he was ready to go.
Poor boy didn't even respond, he just nodded and stood up
Two minutes in, he knew what he had done
You were blowing him like it would be your last time, it should be illegal to be able to suck someone off that well
And damn you pulled away right before he was going to cum.
And then just left him! Walked out of the closet like nothing had ever happened
That couldn’t be it, he wouldn't let that be it
After two weeks of non-stop begging from the guy you agreed to a date, which led to many dates
Which led to him finally being able to fuck you
God damn, he didn't think it would get better, and it did, it really did.
You were laying on top of him and grinding your entire body onto him
Dripping all over him and squeezing him like crazy
He was never going to let you go
Now, that same friend from that party seemed very intrigued with your relationship
And he just can't help but tell him about how amazing you were, it just sucks that he did it right in front of you in the middle of lunch
Pussy pass revoked
He didn't think he did anything wrong so he went two whole weeks without any touch and he went crazy
He fell apart and apologized
After he begged enough you gave him the pussy pass back
And now he doesn't do anything to jeopardize it
Terushima
this is gonna sound weird
But
I feel like terushima knows when someone is a good lay
It's like a secret talent of his, he just knows and his radar went off when he saw you
But he thought it was wrong at first considering you were wearing leggings and a huge sweater
Not good fuck material
But he had to make sure, so he just walked up to you and asked if you were a good fuck
Surprisingly you didn’t punch him in the nuts, instead, you laughed at him and said that he would just have to find out
And that he should at least take you out to dinner first
Adm he took you up it, made it the best damn dinner date he’d ever be on
And you reward him
With what?
The best damn blow-job he’d ever get as long as he lived.
And it fit that to the T
It started with the little licks and swirls, then, you gotta catch the man off guard, and just take his entire dick in your throat
And with that, he was sure he had superpowers
When He came, fairly quick for his taste, you swallowed all of his cum and he was ready to marry you
If he needed to take you on a date for that, he would take you on a date every day for the rest of his life
(not every day) but that's what he did
But eventually, just a blowjob wasn't enough, oh no he knew you had a tight hole
And he knew you were gushing most of the time (ushy gushy my pussy-)
If making him suck the fingers you used to fuck yourself after he came was anything
And you tasted good, really good
He was so ready for it that he let you ride him the whole night
He thought his dick was a]going to fall off, you were just that damn good
It was insane, you were almost using him as a dildo, grinding your clit on the base of his cock
And you looked glorious, he was going to have to talk to you about recording it so he could watch it over and over
Maybe show a few people-
And that's what he did, poor unfortunate soul got the silent treatment for two days before he fell apart
He literally got on his knees and asked for forgiveness
(biggest simp on the planet, but only for you (and your dripping cunt))
He’s sure to never do it again, he’s also sure that if you asked him to step on him he would let you
(and I think he’s the most pussy-whipped)
Ok maybe you didn't fully forgive him until he showed you what his tongue piercing could do, but it was worth every moment.
Atsumu
Honestly, he was dared to sleep with the next girl who walked through the cafeteria door
And that just happens to bring you, miss. I remind the teacher there was homework
(Well he actually wasn’t really sure about that but that's what you looked like and he was already regretting his decision.)
In defense of him, your hair was in a messy bun and you had this teacher's pet aura around you
But he would be damned if he lost this bet to his brother and Suna, oh no
The moment he wa[lked up to your table you knew what was happening, and shut it down immediately
After that, you officially had his attention!
Lucky you!
Unlucky you for the fact that all he wanted to do was get in your pants.
But lucky you again because you could hold this over his head!
But one day you just woke up and chose dick (respectable)
So when atsumu did his daily “c'mon baby, you know you want some” you just stood up, scaring him
(he finally thought you were gonna kill him)
Instead, you grabbed him by the dick, literally grabbed his dick through his pants, and tugged him all the way to the roof
“Hey-hey baby, no need to be that rough”
“Shut up, Miya. pants down, now”
That was not where he thought that was going but he isn't going to complain.
“You want your dick wet so bad? Here you go!”
Honestly, he could die happy.
Not so sound gross, but you were slobbering around his cock like a pro. Now that left the thought, you had to have done this before.
You had hands on the back of his thighs pushing him further down your throat, hollowed cheeks, damn he should’ve done this was sooner
He was gonna cum-
And your mouth was gone, your hand was jerking him but that wasn't nearly as nice
“Lay back.”
Yes, yes he will do that. If what’s about to happen is what he thinks is about to happen
And now your pussy was above his face. Ok a little detour but he’ll take it
You were literally dripping onto his face while he got to work, and you went back to sucking him off
Yup, heaven.
After you both came he made sure to tell you that that had to happen again.
And it did, you rode him to hell in the hole to heaven, and he couldn't help himself from telling the entire volleyball team about how good you were
Now he really didn't think about what would happen if the news got back to you
But he definitely didn't think that meant a whole week of nothing
Well nothing for him, you made sure to send him more than a few videos of rigid dildos and fingering yourself
A week of torture, but when it was finally over he had an entirely new folder of spanking material
he was sure about who he told about your escapades, as in he told himself and Osamu if he just wanted to vent
poor guy was paranoid now
#kurro x reader#kuroo smut#kuroo x reader smut#kuroo tetsurou x reader#kuroo tetsurou x reader smut#bokuto x reader#bokuto smut#bokuto x reader smut#bokuto koutarou x reader smut#bokuto koutarou x reader#iwaizumi x reader#iwazumi x reader#iwaizumi smut#iwaizumi x reader smut#iwaizumi haijime x reader#iwaizumi haijime x reader smut#konoha x reader#konoha smut#konoha x reader smut#atsumu x reader#atsumu smut#atsumu miya x reader#atsumu miya x reader smut#haikyuu smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader smut#terushima x reader#terushima x reader smut#terushima smut#terushima yuji x reader
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MONSTER CAMP QUOTES STARTERS
A collection of sentence starters from the game Monster Camp. Feel free to change words and pronouns as desired.
CONTENT WARNING(S) FOR: Monster Prom/Monster Camp spoilers, suggestive, cursing, crude content
“ I just have it here because [NAME] insisted that I offer it, as a marketing stunt. ”
“ And lastly, super-horny-type players no longer get a charm buff against tsundere types! ”
“ War machines don’t turn me on or anything! ”
“ I don’t wanna be weird, but do you mind if I climb inside of you and play around with your main turret? ”
“ A wine to DIE for, you say? Well, darling, don’t threaten me with a good time! ”
“ This one just says ‘ hmu with that reaper dick, daddy ’. ”
“ You on your phone, as always! Probably making blogposts on your Tik Tok page. ”
“ Yeah, you really don’t want to witness a repeat of the last time [NAME]’s diehard fans went without a selfie for fifteen minutes. My tailbone still hasn’t completely healed. ”
“ Now hold still, this will only hurt for a moment --- ”
“ Yay! You found a shenanigan! ”
“ My poems all have two or three emotions in them, AT LEAST. ”
“ CRYING IS OBVIOUSLY A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO CAN SQUEEZE THE MOST WATER OUT OF THEIR EYES! ”
“ No way, really? The way to WIN at poetry is by LOSING at life? ”
“ I dunno, maybe fall in love with someone who’s married and develop an opioid addiction? ”
“ HELL YEAH, SPEEDRUN! ”
“ It’s morbid, but... kind of romantic? ”
“ GASP! Google+? Are you kidding me? The psychopaths behind that global tragedy are here?! ”
“ Prison has changed me, [NAME]. Would you like to trade me some cigarettes in exchange for my fundamental dignity? ”
“ Undermining the laws of reality, subverting life and death, that’s the kind of stuff my followers expect. But CHEATING? No way. ”
“ Though we are imprisoned in chalk jail, we are free in our hearts. But our hearts are also imprisoned in chalk jail. ”
“ Um, no, I am NOT groveling. I am posing a dignified query to [NAME] that just so happens to be performed on my hands and knees. ”
“ I didn’t know you condoned playing the friend card to get free labor, [NAME]. ”
“ Ah, but saving the world doesn’t put avocado toast on the table. We indie seancers and necromancers need to pay our rent too, you know. ”
“ And as you know, I am illustriously Internet-famous, so if you could shower me with adoration and give me the pizza that would be fabulous. ”
“ Do you wanna fuck the pizza or not? ”
“ Are you ready to go swimming? I must admit, darling, I’ve always wondered what you would look like while... wet.”
“ Did you turn this date into an orgy without consulting me? ”
“ Gosh, I love it when you insult me! Please do it more! ”
“ Now who wants to make a baby? ”
“ What if she puts a curse on me that makes me magically forget the location of the clitoris?! ”
“ Hey, don’t knock wacky decisions that endanger us all! That’s how I always manage to stay a step ahead of my nemeses! ”
“ Oh gods, I’ve killed so many monsters, just for being monsters. This is making me question my entire moral foundation. I NEED MORE THERAPY. ”
“ I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: fish give better pedicures than people! ”
“ You’re not tricking me into parenting a stupid egg. I’ve never fucked even ONE chicken! The egg is not my son! ”
“ You came to visit me at camp, Daddy! ”
“ Don’t be ridiculous, I know your brand of horny, [NAME], and this ain’t it. ”
“ I thought we both agreed to be nothing but vague and haughtily aloof about our past dalliances. ”
“ Point EAST, compass! EAAAAAAAAST! You dumb fuckboot!!!! POINT! EAST! ”
“ One time I was told a soul’s worst fear was bugs and I inadvertantly sent The Beatles. It happens to the best of us... And the worst of us. ”
“ SOMEDAY I SHALL DEFEAT YOUR FIVE STRANGE FEET! ”
“ Why do you keep suppressing your monster half? Embrace your true nature! ”
“ Wow. I didn't think this was possible, but I guess I was... wrong? About social media? Oh dear God, is this how grandparents feel?!?! Am I a GRANDPARENT?! ”
“ I don’t know! I was relying on my friends to cover up my bold and idiotic statement! ”
“ ... I ate the oars. ”
“ PSYCHE. The ocean can eat my ass. ”
“ So pucker up, [NAME]! I'm about to declare mouth war on your FACE! ”
“ YOU FOOLISHLY FOOLISH FOOL! You're showing our inexperience! YOUR HONOR, THE ENTIRE LEGAL TEAM PLEADS THE FIFTH! ”
“ That's right. I'm talking about a classic Transylvania Hot Tub, a Seth Brundle, and a REVERSE Reverse Romanian Wilkinson. ”
“ Sorry, I was in your ribcage seeing if I could use it to cut strips of crepe paper into confetti and then I got lost in your kidneys. ”
“ There's nothing sexier than a doomed romance between a dating sim player and a hot fictional character. ”
“ That's right! I secretly replaced one of you with a bear while no one was looking, to teach you a valuable lesson about the art of disguise! ”
“ Enchant my armor. I’m going into the lake. ”
“ For VIOLENCE REASONS! ”
“ This stupid lake monster called me short the other day, but I was too low level to crush him like he deserved. ”
“ That dumb wet dinkhole won't know what hit him! But it will be me! I will hit him! ”
“ No, YOU'RE a fuckshark! Also, what does that even mean?! ”
“ You seriously didn't notice the enormous needles those interns jabbed into your veins as soon as [NAME] got here? “
“ It all makes sense! The Camp Dome is just an elaborate ploy to distract us from the giant mouth that eats campers! “
“ This is the BEST show I've ever seen in my life, which is now at an end! “
“ Am I high, or did he just tell us EXACTLY how to foil his evil scheme? “
“ What, like a few severed heads and visions of my grandpa screaming in horrendous pain are gonna freak me out? Where I'm from, you can buy that stuff at IKEA. “
“ ERROR: Due to the sixth mass extinction, the slaying of leprechauns is inadvisable. “
“ Then why do I have half-finished scarves, decoupage, pot-holders, friendship bracelets, and a taxidermied rabbit in my skeleton? “
“ The wang elemental. ”
“ I also have an uncle who works at Nintendo as a copy machine! “
“ What flavor of ice cream AM I?! Now I gotta know. HA! You know what I should be? 'Pistachio.' Because my outside is HARD, but I'm full of NUT. “
“ I mean, life is a bit like... this sandwich! No, stay with me, I'm going somewhere good with this. “
“ A survival situation without any sexy fun time isn't worth surviving in the first place. “
“ Rut the RUCK?! ”
“ The ' ambulance of the heart ' is just a regular ambulance! Ambulances treat all organs! ”
“ Yeah, that's why I made sure that my so-called ' emotional armor ' was also ' actual armor '. “
“ And being yourself is the key to living your dreams, which is the key to self actualization, which is the key to being really good at sex! “
“ So hot I'd buy that even without free shipping. 10/10, call me some time. “
“ Hi, quick question: does it count as kidnapping if I'm abducting you so you can help me do a thing you already agreed to help with? “
“ I could be wrong, but are you just upset because you DON'T have a skeleton that's inside your body? “
“ I'm gonna get SO FUCKING RELAXED MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE! “
“ Whoah, whoa, hold up. You're fucking my grandma? “
“ No, [NAME], that is a popcorn bag full of more dynamite. Put it down. “
“ I hear that at least 70% of people on Patreon aren't murderers! “
“ If you want cash, just rob banks like the rest of us! “
“ Did it work? Do you feel any less horny? ”
“ FUCK YEAH, LET'S PUNCH THAT MOUTH IN ITS MOUTH! “
“ Yes... incidentally, we are no longer allowed to enter Italy. “
“ Is anyone else turned on right now? ”
“ Yes! Yes! I know what you're feeling! I suddenly see how marrying a corpse isn't okay! “
“ JUST LET ME IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM, MORTAL! “
“ Look, choose whatever you want, but I'm not responsible for whatever you put in your mouth. ”
#rp starters#rp sentence starters#roleplay meme#roleplay starters#rp meme#ask meme#rp ask meme#monster prom#monster camp#monster prom rp#monster prom roleplay#monster camp rp#monster camp roleplay#mine
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Room 107 // chapter I // JJ Maybank (smut)
I have started my first JJ story, which will consist of several chapters that I will constantly be updating. The story picks up where season 2 leaves us. TW: Contains mentions of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex and violence.
Chapter 1 can be found below.
Oh, and - please feel free to submit requests, I tend to write a lot ;)
Enjoy xx
Chapter 1 - La Guardiana
Days had passed since the Pogues had last seen civilisation, maybe even weeks. The sun was hotter than ever, with close to no wind to mask the warmth. JJ was taking this particularly badly.
“I’m so done with eating bananas, man,” he moaned, kicking a pebble as he trotted a little behind the rest of his friends, “Can’t we just stumble across an oasis or something and end up in, like, an actual city?”
As if on command, his friends stopped in their tracks, the girls awing and the guys smiling happily.
“We just might, JJ,” said John B, looking at the city unfolding itself in front of them in the distance, “We just might.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’m actually starving,” laughed Sarah, nudging John B’s arm, “Don’t tease!”
“Hey, so am I,” he cooed, “First joint we find, we’re going in for food.”
Kiara rolled her eyes, “As much as I would love to accept that offer, let me remind you that we have no money.”
Sarah nodded, “Mhm, nothing at all.”
“Nada,”
John B looked at the two girls sternly, “And when has that ever stopped us exactly?”
Kiara rolled her eyes once again, smirking at her friend, “Alright, I suppose a good meal would give me the energy I’d need to run a marathon after getting caught not paying.”
The group continued walking down a not too busy street, studying the buildings, looking for a restaurant, cafe, diner - anything, really. They hadn’t had a proper meal in God knows how long and they were famished. They couldn’t help but notice how all the buildings on the street were of the same height - no more than four storeys each, all painted in different colours. If they hadn’t known any better, they’d have thought that they had left the United States of America altogether, although one thing was certain - they were definitely not in the Outer Banks anymore.
The street wasn’t crowded at all, there were hardly any cars or people lurking about. JJ concluded that this was probably an unpopular area of whichever city they were in. This would also explain the lack of supermarkets and restaurants. He really wanted to ask his friends to stop for a little break - his throat was so dry and his legs could barely hold him up anymore, but he knew better. The longer they walk, the faster they’ll find what they are looking for. Having no indicator of the time on them wasn’t helping either, hell, they could have been walking for 12 hours for all he knew, and with no result.
“Maybe we should just ask someone,” Pope suggested, “Neither of us is a wanted criminal anymore, I’d say we have nothing to worry about.”
John B smirked at his friend’s remark, but ultimately agreed to ask the first person they ran into where the nearest food joint was.
Turns out, they were standing right in front of it.
“La Cubanita Hotel and Restaurant” it spelled out in bold, red letters. The building was narrow and a light shade of blue, totally contrasting the obnoxiously coloured sign planted in front of it. Much like the rest of the buildings on the street, it had no more than four floors, each consisting of a row of Spanish windows with brightly coloured frames. The Pogues looked at each other with a hint of uncertainty before John B lead the way into the building.
On the inside it looked like a typical diner - tiled floor, red and blue booths, a long bar accompanied by bar stools and, cheesily enough, a boombox. JJ guessed that the way to the hotel was through the back, but he didn’t put too much thought into it. The place seemed dead, with only one of the booths being busy. It was either an off-peak hour or this city was actually a ghost town.
The group sat at one of the booths on the other side of where the other people were and JJ took a second to observe them. A group of bikers, all wearing stereotypical biker outfits from leather jackets down to bandanas. They were in their mid 50s and were all smoking indoors, drinking what looked like whiskeys, despite of the blazing sun still very much being out. JJ had to give it to them though, they did look pretty darn cool if he did say so himself, and those cigarettes looked eerily appetising to him at this given moment. Oh, what he’d give to have a sip of whatever they were having and a long, much needed drag of one of their cigarettes. He was so lost in his daydream, he barely realised Kiara poking him in the arm.
“JJ,” she urged, “Waitress is here!”
In this moment JJ turned his attention to the new subject in question, their waitress. She was standing at the foot of their booth, wearing her uniform, black and red, holding a pen and a notepad, chewing a piece of gum, waiting for his order. Could this place get any more stereotypical? JJ thought to himself.
“So what’s it gonna be, handsome?” She said, not even bothering to look in his direction.
“Uh…” JJ fumbled with the menu, “I’ll just have whatever they’re having.” He said, pointing at the bikers in the booth across from theirs.
The woman rolled her eyes, popping her bubblegum. She took the rest of the Pogues’ orders before disappearing somewhere behind the bar. JJ followed her with his eyes, blocking out the conversation his friends were currently having. The waitress came back out of what he assumed to be the kitchen and handed the paper with their orders to another girl behind the bar. JJ guessed she was the barmaid, and boy was she a bit of him.
She was wearing the same uniform as her colleague, although JJ had to admit - it looked a whole lot better on her, at least from what he could see from above the bar. Her hair was long and brown, half of it tied up effortlessly, and slightly messily, although JJ didn’t mind one bit. He watched her as she took the paper from her colleague and went to fetch the drinks written on it. He couldn’t make out what exactly colour her eyes were, and quite frankly - he didn’t really care, she was gorgeous regardless of what her eyes looked like, and she looked around his age. Had the sun and heat gotten to his head, or was it just the fact that he hadn’t touched a female in so long, he didn’t know, but if there was one thing JJ Maybank was notorious for, it was his ability to pull any girl his heart desired effortlessly. This is why he excused himself from the table and, albeit his friends’ confused looks and comments, he made his way towards the bar, sliding into one of the stools directly across from the girl.
She looked up at him, “Can I help you?”
“Brown…” JJ mumbled to himself.
“Excuse me?” She said, this time sounding slightly annoyed.
Her eyes were brown, JJ thought, brown and sexy. He coughed, trying to compose himself and gave her his signature Maybank stare. It worked wonders back home, surely it would work wonders now again.
“Name’s JJ,” he said suavely, “I’m not from around here-“
“Clearly,” she muttered, picking up a bottle of whiskey. JJ assumed it was for him, “Aren’t you a little young to be drinking, JJ?”
JJ smirked, “What can I say, I have the face of a boy but the body and mind of a man.”
The girl snickered under her nose, “Sure. Well since you’re here, make yourself useful and bring your drinks over to your friends,” she gave him a fake smile, placing a tray with their orders on it in front of him, after which she turned her back to him and walked towards the back of the bar.
JJ was too busy observing her behind to notice the other waitress standing next to him, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“Should I take that or will you?” She said, waking JJ up from his everlasting daydream.
“Oh, uh, don’t sweat it…” he said, picking up the tray and carrying it over to his friends’ booth.
“So much for customer service,” Sarah laughed.
“And to think my dad says I’m hostile to our customers,” Kiara muttered out.
JJ took his seat next to her, his eyes never leaving the bar.
“La Guardiana,” Pope read out loud, “This place is called La Guardiana, and apparently we’re somewhere in Florida.”
“Florida?” John B said, confusion dripping through his words.
Pope nodded, pointing at some text on the bottom of the menu.
La Cubanita Hotel & Restaurant **, 97 Diego’s Crescent, La Guardiana, FL
“Holy shit, we’re in Florida!” John B whisper yelled.
Sarah laughed at his reaction, “Calm down now, Sancho, let’s not draw any attention to us,”
“Yeah, you might wanna tell Casanova here that,” teased Pope, nodding his head in JJ’s direction, “Was it really worth it to potentially blow our cover just to talk to that girl?”
JJ snapped at Pope, “Hey, man, just ‘cuz you don’t have the nuts to go over there and talk to her yourself,”
“Yeah, I really want to attract the staff’s attention, you know, even more than we already are, seeing as we’re the only other busy table at this place.”
“Your food,” the waitress from earlier was back with some of the Pogues’ orders.
They waited for her to be out of earshot and JJ spoke up, “Relax, P, I bet you I can charm the pants off that girl and we won’t even need to sneak out without paying!”
Pope gave JJ a fake smile, “Mhm, I’m sure she’s gonna be so deep under your spell she won’t even notice us leaving without paying a cent."
JJ rolled his eyes, picking up a toothpick from the table and placing it between his teeth.
“Might even offer us a place to crash, you know, because she’ll be so captivated by you.” Pope continued to tease.
“Yeah, chicks totally dig this whole I’m homeless and I haven’t properly showered in like 15 days look you're going for,” Sarah joined in on the teasing.
Kiara laughed and added, “Yeah, and the bit that’s gonna fully seal the deal for her is that you have literally nothing to offer her, like 0 dollars.”
Everyone was laughing while JJ just crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned to look out the window, “Talk all you want, guys, but once we get that gold back, you’ll see who’ll dig what.”
“The rest of your order,” he recognised the girl’s voice. It was her bringing their food over this time. She placed John B’s plate in front of him and then made her way around the table, next to where JJ was sat. She handed him his plate and bent down slightly, so that her lips were on the same level as JJ’s ear, “Next time you decide to share your criminal plans, you might wanna talk a bit more quietly.” She whispered, setting his cutlery down for him, “Oh, and, you might be charming wherever you come from, but your friend’s right. That shit doesn’t work around here.” She said, patting him on the shoulder before walking away.
JJ didn’t waste time sitting around to listen to his friends pass comments about what had just happened, he downed his whiskey and practically chased after the girl.
“I’m guessing you’ll want another one?” She said, not even turning around. JJ wondered how she knew that he was there. When she turned to face him, the bottle of whiskey was in her hand. “Let’s see… Do I pour you another one and close my eyes about you planning to leave without paying, or do I do what anyone else in my position would do and call the police on you? Hmm…” she pretended to think, her eyes never leaving JJ’s now panicking ones.
“Please don’t call the cops,” he blurted out, the whiskey hitting his brain and making him stress out more than he wanted to admit to, “Look, we - we were in a boat accident, we don’t even know how we got here, hell - we didn’t even know where we were up until 10 minutes ago! And we - we don’t have any documents on us, we don’t have any sort of identification, what would you -“
“Relax, kid,” the girl smirked, picking up two glasses and pouring a generous amount of whiskey in both of them, “I won’t rat you out.” She said, handing JJ one of the glasses and raising hers for a toast.
JJ clinked his glass with hers, a large smile growing on his face, his dimples becoming very prominent, “Thank you, really… That means a lot.”
The girl took a moment to observe JJ, then to look at his friends having a heated conversation at their booth, all of them practically stuffing their faces with food in an almost animalistic sort of way. Could this boy really be telling the truth? Could these kids have been lost at sea with no place to go? She looked back at JJ who was also looking at her. Despite the smile plastered on his face, she could clearly see that he was extremely nervous still.
“Hey,” she said, “I told you to relax, didn’t I. I won’t charge you for your food, in fact… I might even have a place for you to sleep and clean up tonight.”
JJ’s eyes grew wider at her words, “You what?”
She leaned in closer to him over the bar and lowered her voice so that he would be the only one to hear, “Hotel upstairs, my aunt owns it. She’s currently out of town with my cousin. Should be back next Thursday. I think I can fit you and your friends in. You just have to promise to be on your best behaviour.” She said, pulling away and taking another sip from her drink.
JJ couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was too good to be true. She was hot and she was willing to help? This must have been his lucky day. Sarah could suck it, and so could the others. Clearly this girl was into him. Why else would she be offering to help?
“So, uh, what’s in it for me?” He asked, a hint of mischief in his voice.
The girl opened her mouth, but before she could speak, the other waitress groaned from behind her.
“Samara, how many times do I have to tell you?” Her croaky voice rang.
The girl, who JJ had just learned was called Samara, rolled her eyes and repeated with her colleague, “No drinking on the job, yeah yeah, I know. But Heather’s gone and so is Conner, so who can tell me what to do, really?” She said, finishing what was left of her whiskey, “Besides, Georgia, as far as I’m concerned, since they’re both gone, that leaves me in charge, no? Now get back to work,” she said, making her colleague roll her eyes at her. Samara turned around to face JJ again, giving him a wink, before disappearing into the kitchen.
JJ couldn’t believe his luck. He swung his arm over the bar and picked up the bottle of whiskey to pour himself one more drink before returning to his friends.
“Guys-“ JJ tried getting their attention.
“So what are we supposed to do now? We’re totally screwed!”
“They’re gonna call the police on us, hell, they probably already have! The cops could be on their way!”
“Guys!” JJ yelled, catching even the bikers’ attention.
His friends looked up at him, worry filling all of their eyes.
“You’ll never believe what I’m about to tell you, oh, and Sarah? You can eat your words.” He smirked before telling them what had just happened.
“Hold on,” said Kiara, her face revealing her confusion, “So this random girl in this random place just randomly said that we can crash here until when?”
“Next Thursday, or was it Tuesday? What day is it today?” JJ scratched his head.
“JJ!” Kiara slapped his arm, “What if this is a trap? It sounds too good to be true doesn’t it? Like, what’s in it for her? We don’t even know her! What if she’s a murderer or something?”
“She’s right, you know,” Cleo chimed in.
“She is,” said John B, “But we have nothing to lose, literally.”
Pope nodded, “I’d usually agree with Kie, but John B’s right. We have nothing to lose. And what if she calls the police? What could even happen then? We get put in jail for agreeing to sleep in a hotel for free? Come on, guys, I’m sure we can all agree that a bar of soap and a normal bathroom would do us good. I mean, we stink.”
Everyone laughed at Pope’s remark before Kiara turned to JJ again, “So what’s the plan?”
Realisation just struck JJ that he didn’t in fact know what the plan was. Samara had told him virtually nothing about how any of this would go down. Where were they supposed to meet? Was she going to take them to their rooms? Would they all be sharing one room? He was so busy thinking about how all of this would go down, he barely noticed Samara herself passing him a note. It was taken out of her colleague, who JJ now knew to be Georgia’s notepad. The note read in messy handwriting:
Bring your friends to the lobby. Straight down the hallway by the bathrooms.
JJ turned the piece of paper towards his friends and they all got up, rushing towards the hallway by the bathrooms.
#outer banks#jj maybank#obx#pope heyward#kiara carrera#jj one shot#jj smut#obx smut#sarah cameron#john b#jj x oc#netflix#love#smut
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MEGGG i am once again asking for your astoria wisdom !! do u have any hcs for each of the love interests?
HIIIII!!!!! I love talking about astoria so much so THANK U for asking me another question <3 I'll try listing 3 headcanons (at least) for each LI:
Alex:
- Prior to falling in love with MC, they spent some of their free time reading/interacting with romance-centric medias. But upon realizing their feelings, and falling more and more in love with her by the day, those things began to hurt too much, so they stopped interacting with them altogether.
- They have a bunch of little logic games on their phone. And also Candy Crush. They play them whenever it's slow in the office. In a similar vein, they play Words With Friends with their mom and they always have to remind her to play. They're huge on wordle.
- After MC becomes a demigod and manifests her aura into a peacock, Alex decides to get cute lil peacock pajama shorts to match her deer ones.
Medusa:
- As much as she loves to spoil MC by taking her out to dinner somewhere fancy, she also really loves going somewhere small and locally-owned, where it's quiet and peaceful and they can be a little silly and comfortable
- When she and MC are sitting next to one another, she often ends up pulling MC to sit on her lap. Sometimes it's on purpose, sometimes it happens without really thinking about it because she wants to be close to her
- She loves tea so much because she can be perfectly in control of it. She can grow the tea leaves herself, or otherwise has trusted sellers to buy from. She knows how to long to steep them for the get the perfect flavor that she wants, and she knows what to add- if anything- to enhance that flavor. It helps keep her grounded, and it's a constant she's been able to fall back on for most of her life.
Hydra:
- He can make a conscious effort to regulate the temperatures around him if he wants to, otherwise it just kind of happens that the room he's in drops by a few degrees, and more if he activates his aura. It's a pretty passive ability that he never paid much mind to until he and MC got together.
- He's partial to instant ramen exactly for the fact that it's quick and easy to make. He doesn't have to waste much time getting it done, and there are a lot of flavors for him to pick from. Instant ramen saves him a lot of time so he can get to work sooner. (And also, his aura likes them too)
- His aura is named (source) and the head of it that's called Yes Man is named that because once he started dating MC, that particular head of his aura is the one that gives away his Real Feelings(tm) and always agrees with whatever MC says.
Astraeus:
- Once the air on Earth is purified and he discovers libraries are a thing, it's all over for the people around him. He can sit in the library and read through the entire poetry section in one day. He memorizes his favorite poems so that he can recite them at the drop of a hat, or otherwise incorporate pieces of them into his own poetry.
- He had a sword made for MC at some point alongside her titan armor, but she wouldn't take it. He still keeps it stowed away in their house in Tartarus, just in case she ever changes her mind and would at least like to learn how to use it.
- He 1000% doesn't know what a meme is and sometimes MC is very, very delighted by that. On days where he wants to blend in more with the humans around them so they can keep lowkey, he wears shirts that say things like "MILF (Man I Love Frogs)" or "Deez Nuts" that Selene + Helios bought for him
Cerberus:
- He forgets that his aura is an extension of himself sometimes and treats them as actual pets. MC usually has to remind him of it so he doesn't accidentally exhaust himself with aura use- but she lets it go on for a little because she also really loves his dogs, and they love her- because he does, too!
- His love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation! He's always very physically affectionate with the people he likes- even if they aren't too keen on it. He isn't ashamed or embarrassed at all when doing it. He loves giving his friends/families a hug. He's also big on affirmations- he wants the people around him to know that he cares and that he believes in and supports them.
- Prior to MC, he dated a couple of other people- monsters, typically- and had a small crush on Persephone. None of those relationships or feelings ever lasted long- he was too busy with the gates, and he just didn't click with any of them. But it was practically love at first sight when he first saw MC, and he was a goner from that moment on. Being suspended from Guardian duty allowed him to spend a lot more time with her than he could normally spend with dates, and he loved every second of it, not that he would ever admit that to anyone other than MC
Hades:
- He isn't super tech-savvy and he doesn't know how to change his own passwords on his devices :) He often needs Persephone's or Aphrodite's help with certain computer issues, or otherwise he enlists Alex's help.
- After he started dating MC he started finding random "gifts" from Aphrodite left around his estate. Edible massage oils. Bath bombs. Aphrodisiacs.................. Condoms. On account of, they don't need any new little demigods roaming around Olympus just then. Hades hides all (most) of it away to use for another day.
- An old soul like Hades has experienced a lot in his time- endless sunsets and sunrises, he has seen the stars as they're meant to be seen every night, etc etc. It's become something normal for him, nothing particularly special about any each thing- until he gets together with MC. It's like watching the sunrise again for the very first time. Everything feels new again with her, he loves seeing it all through her eyes.
Chimera:
- He really really likes hotdogs because they're the first food he had after getting out from Typhon's grasp. They taste like freedom and normalcy to him, not to mention they're just delicious and incredibly different from the foods he was raised with.
- He loves to dance. It's a way for him to release some of his pent-up energy, and he loves music, too, so it's extra perfect for him. Before MC, he never had anyone to dance with, though, so he really loved being able to dance with her, to move with her and be perfectly in sync.
- Chimera fell for MC the moment he first interacted with her- when she helped him with the coffee machine in HERA's break room. She knew that he was Chimera, but she wasn't afraid of him and treated him completely normally, which at the time is what he wanted. Her kindness really stuck with him, and so he was even more excited when she took his case.
#lovestruck voltage#lovestruck#astoria: fate's kiss#astoria: lost kisses#astoria#alex cyprin#alex#hydra#medusa#astraeus#hades#chimera#cerberus#afk mc
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