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#jackass forever
bamfvckingmargera · 2 months
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johnny on film
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bammywritesfavtiktoks · 4 months
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Screaming crying throwing up every time
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berzahoes · 4 months
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headcanons: female jackass member
an: just some headcanons that i’ve been thinking about lately lol
I love johnny’s shirts but you would have an even better wardrobe
basically this:
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you’re not afraid to kick all of the guys’ dick when they’re being assholes or just annoying
you love hanging out with johnny’s daughter if she’s on set (she’s not on set often but when she is you’re literally best friends)
you’ve probably broken an arm and a leg at the same time
you know practically everyone had beef with each other in the early 2000s?? NOT YOU or if you do want to have the whole hollywood experience then you do you <3
you definitely made some appearances on viva la bam
chris + you = besties THAT IS ALL I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH CHRIS
you cannot go a full five minutes without cursing (me, it’s literally my vocabulary)
you know how when dave england gets drunk he’s like the worst?? you’re not that bad but when drunk dave is doing stupid shit drunk you is hyping him up
you’re always gaslighting the guys
you would shoot someone with the paintball gun (probably johnny or bam) and they would be on the ground in pain and jeff would just ask “what happened?”
you, casually with a paintball gun in your hand, shrug
“SHE SHOT ME”
“that never happened”
ok but i also love that the only female jackass member would have an obsession with dyeing her hair idk why
nvm i do bc imagine being on edge at work all day bc you think the guys are going to prank you
stress = hair dye i don’t make the rules
SPLIT HAIR OR IDK THE PROPER TERM BUT YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN
omg narcissa malfoy hair yeah <3
ok that’s all i got nothing else 😭😭
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myownprivategeocity · 3 months
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missing them… </3
𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐
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dioraddictbabe · 1 year
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Shirts I imagine the jackass girl wears || <33
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johnny-coxville · 11 months
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How about a really cute johnny and female reader (she's johnnys girlfriend but she doesn't do any of the stunts) fic where they're playing with the Super Mighty Glue for the third film and one of the other guys sticks the reader and Johnny together and he's really cute with it and finds it hilarious?
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Figured I might as well mix the two aspects of the asks ;P
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Johnny x fem!reader fluff
Too Close!
The glue that rested inside the wooden drawer was saved for a rainy day. That day. Was today. Johnny opened the blinds in the bedroom, squinting at the bright sunlight. The rain beat down on the window, giving cool air through the cracks.
He turned his head to you, where you slept softly. He made his way back over to the bed and sat down. Scratching your head, and brushing the hair out of your face. You slowly woke up, greeted by a soft kiss from Johnny. You smiled and kissed his lips. Laying your head back down on the pillow. You stretched your arms and yawned.
“Time to get up sweetheart, heading to Bam’s. It’s raining so you’re being dragged along to watch a stunt. I swear it’s harmless.” He said rubbing your shoulder. You sighed. “Alright. But if you get hurt I’m not driving you to the hospital this time.” You muttered. Of course, this was a bluff you always got so scared when he’d do such a dangerous stunt.
You two got up and dressed. Johnny slipped into his blue and white long-sleeve. Looping the belt through his black jeans. Tying his signature skull and crutches Converse. You took one of his flannels, sporting a black t-shirt underneath. Leaving it unbuttoned. You never bothered putting on a raincoat.
Finishing with your shoes, he slipped his jacket on. Grabbing the hotel keycard and sliding it into his jacket pocket. Passing you the car keys, you both headed into the heavy rain. Driving through PA wasn’t your favorite thing, but at least it wasn’t California traffic.
Johnny chatted the entire way there. Finally pulling into Bam’s driveway, multiple cars had already been pulled up. You were honestly nervous. You really weren’t interested in whatever house-destroying antics they were going to get up to.
Johnny reassured you, their plans wouldn’t be putting themselves in danger. You simply rolled your eyes and got prepared to run through the rain. Entering Bam’s parents, you shook yourself dry. Being greeted by April as usual.
She led you to the kitchen where the entire gang sat. You knew this would be trouble. All sitting at the table, like rowdy little children. They greeted you and Johnny. Sat on the table were a few containers of super glue. You looked at it unsure, looking over to Johnny.
Kosick stood leaning against the kitchen counter, camera mounted on his arm. Along with a few of the other film crew, just relaxing, waiting for the action to start. You were giving quite an unsure look. What were they going to do? Glue their lips to each other's assholes? See how far they could run with glue stuck to their feet? It had to have been something extremely outlandish.
¨Don’t look too excited for this Cons.” Dave giggled. You smiled. He always called you Cons because he could never remember your actual name. Converse were the only shoes you and Johnny ever wore, so the name stuck. “Not really. I mean. It’s probably a lot better than most of the things you’ve done.” You said pulling a chair at the table.
Bam took the initiative and stood at the foot of the table. “I say Johnny and Cons do something together! She’s never in our stunts. There’s no way we could hurt her with some super glue.” Bam said pointing at you. April facepalmed. She loved you dearly, and always talked you out of a stunt, no matter how small and stupid it was.
You nodded your head. “What are your plans.” You said caving. What’s the worse that could happen? “Alright, so you’re going to want to take your shirt o-” Before Bam could even finish Johnny cut him off with a flat no. Tremaine in the corner gave a suggestion. “Wee-man and Preston first. Just to see how it works out.” He said pointing to the two guys who uncomfortably shuffled. Sighing Preston got out of his seat.
Wee-man follows behind and stands with his arms folded. Never really fond of actually having to do a stunt. “Shirt off. Both of you” Tremaine said stepping closer with his smaller camera equipment. “Fucking seriously?” Preston scoffed.
He discarded his shirt, annoyed, and stood waiting for the next move. Wee-man reluctantly removed his shirt and stood face-palming. “Wait wait wait, I wanna do the glue!” You shouted. Tremaine shrugged his shoulders. “Works with me.” He said giving the go for filming. Everyone began to shuffle into place. Getting out of their chairs. The camera began to roll.
“Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville! And this isss Super Mighty Glue!” He said reading the name off the glue bottle. You stood with an excited smile. “Here we have two very willing and lovely participants.” He said presenting Preston and Wee-man, with incredibly annoyed faces. You snickered taking over the bit.
“Alright, Preston you’re on the bottom, and wee-man you’re on top.” You said helping Preston slide onto the counter. The guys were already hysterical. Once Preston was on the table, you lathered his stomach full of glue. It smelled awful but surely felt even more often to feel on the skin. Wee-man was assisted onto the table, Bam shoving him backward while he was trying to balance.
“Bam!” April screamed, hitting him in the shoulder. Wee-man’s ass now glued to Preston's stomach. “Hold on! Hold on! I got this.” Johnny said pulling out a stun gun. Before he could even take a few steps Wee-man started to scream and fight, painfully ripping himself off of Preston's stomach. Preston screamed in pain pushing himself off the table. Both men jumping around and screaming.
“Someone fucking lather up Knoxville. This shit hurts!” Wee-man screamed out. Johnny wanting to prove some kind of point, maybe that he was tough, laid on the table, pulling his shirt off. “Lather me up, baby!” He said rubbing his hands together.
You squeezed two different bottles of glue onto his chest, cringing at the glue glopping and running down him. You crossed around the counter cautiously not to be stuck to Johnny in some stupid way. Just as you were ready to put the glue down, Dunn hauled you up by your shirt. You couldn’t fight his grip, being picked up like some kind of toddler by their onesie. He pressed you directly against Johnny’s bare sticky body. Johnny found this hysterical, you definitely did not.
“No fucking way! Get me off of him!” You shout. Everyone laughing except April. Johnny was nearly in tears by this point laughing, carefully trying to slide off the table. Every time you tried to pull yourself off of him, he’d squeal in pain. Your t-shirt was basically infused into his skin. Your flannel awkwardly stuck to the sides of his body where glue had seeped down.
Aww’s and laughter were spread throughout the room. You rested an angry face on his shoulder as he held you against his chest. “She’s reaallyyy stuck to me, man!” Johnny said showing you off to the camera. Flopping his body around trying to detach you. “Definitely going to have to cut her off of me..” Johnny said scratching his head. Glue stuck to his fingers getting caught up in his hair.
Looking into the camera he cringed. Ripping his fingers out of his hair, he pulled hair straight from his scalp. “Yep. I’m done! Can someone just. Set my shirt on top of her hand so she can change..” Knoxville asked.
April let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve got it.” She said leaving the kitchen. Coming back with one of her t-shirts for you to wear. You kept trying to kick at his knees, nearly having Johnny buckle over a few times. Giggling each time you made a poor attempt. “I’m going to glue your beard to someone’s pubes Dunn. I fucking swear on it.” You said as April wrapped the shirt around your neck for you to use shortly.
He giggled in the corner shaking his head. Johnny carried you around the house, holding you close. You felt like a baby strapped to his dad’s chest. Once you were nearly in the bathroom you could hear the other guys hollering. Assuming one of them had continued the bit.
He closed the bathroom door and shuffled himself to the counter to grab the scissors. You let out a heavy sigh. He giggled to himself, making eye contact from time to time. “I swear I could kill him PJ” You said pulling yourself slightly back to let him cut through the fabric. Thankfully these weren’t “good clothes”. You’d be fuming.
Once he had gotten the shirt undone, he just tore the flannel off. You finally were let go, sitting on the bathroom counter. You stared at his now extremely patchy chest, covered almost entirely in your shirt. You shrugged, sliding your new shirt on.
“Pugs! Not Drugs!” Johnny read your shirt. “That’s fucking great.” He sighed trying to relax his laughter. April always provided the best shirts. Another one to the collection. Once you had managed to clean the shirt pieces off Johnny, you both walked out to the kitchen. Dunn’s beard glued completely to the side of Bam’s face.
Idiots.
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sata-cable · 2 years
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Exiting Narrator
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mfitzgerald · 7 months
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that’s a fact
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dunnswrld · 1 year
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stroking my shit rn💯🤦‍♀️🤣
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bamfvckingmargera · 2 months
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random hero 🖤
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justknoxville · 9 months
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That’s bbg right there
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berzahoes · 4 months
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i’m cool enough | johnny knoxville
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summary: johnny and the reader’s daughter thinks her dad is cool unlike her brother.
an: silver foxville supremacy!! also the daughter has a random name, if you’d like to change it, you’re welcome to do so <3 btw i’m going to use johnny instead of pj for this fic
warnings: mentions of vomit
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“and how is the family? you’ve got two teenagers?” jimmy kimmel asked. johnny was a guest on the tonight show since he was promoting ‘jackass forever’.
“yeah, i have a son and a daughter. mason and olivia,” johnny nodded. “they’re great kids.”
“and do they care that their dad is johnny knoxville? i saw a clip from steve-o’s podcast the other day and you said your son has never watched any jackass stuff?”
johnny laughed. “that’s right. he hasn’t watched any of the movies because one, he doesn’t like seeing me hurt and two, he thinks it’s lame.”
“and your daughter? has she seen anything?”
“she has watched some stuff like the lamborghini tooth pull, but she loves it when i’m the one doing the stunts like the bull roller skating stunt.“ he explained. he remembers the first time olivia had ever seen a jackass stunt. she was ten and it was the toro totter stunt where he mentioned many times that he had won since he was the last one standing.
“so you have one kid who thinks you’re the coolest dad on the planet and another kid who thinks it’s time for retirement.” jimmy chuckled along with the audience.
“mason is just there to keep me humble.”
“does your wife like olivia watching your stunts? i’m guessing she doesn’t want your daughter even attempting a stunt.” jimmy was right. you made both mason and olivia promise that they would never ever try a stunt. they kept their promise so far. you dreaded the day when olivia or mason (especially olivia) came into the house with a broken arm or missing teeth because of a stunt they tried to do.
“she doesn’t mind the kids watching, just as long as clothes are on and there’s no vomit. my wife hates vomit. she will not enter a room if she hears someone say that they feel like they’re about to vomit.” johnny explained. “she also doesn’t want the kids doing stunts, which i agree, we don’t want our kids getting hurt. i tell them ‘leave the stupid dangerous stuff to me!’.”
“so no jackass legacy?”
“my wife will kill me if one of my kids ends up with a tiny scratch.”
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myownprivategeocity · 2 months
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ugh he’s so sexy …
sorry for being so inactive lately guys, but here’s a set of my fav bam gifs !!
( obvs gif cred goes to the respectful owners, i’m so sorry i didn’t collect those names!! i find them scattered around the internet, but i’m pretty sure my good friend @bambammargera provided some of these to me <3 )
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knoxvilleaura · 2 years
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Convinced he was born to be a dilf
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