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#jaune x ruby
lord-of-rain · 2 days
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Garnet: Daaaaad, why can't I date, Pyrrah Valkyrie?
Jaune: Okay, this is you. *places a pretzle on the table*
Garnet: O-okay?
Jaune: And this is Pyrrah. *smashes the prezle repeatedly with a hammer*
Garnet:
Garnet: That's actually kinda hot.
Jaune: NOOOOOOOO!
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reashot · 23 hours
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Jaune Finally Snapped...
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Now, Finally at what seems to be the final moments of the world. Two figures stands in stark opposition to each other's. One is an all powerful malevolence witch that goes by the name of Salem, while the others is merely a humble knight named Jaune Arc. Armed with his trusty sword and shield, Jaune must now face off against the witch for the fate of the world.
*one epic fight scene later*
Salem: Ahhh!!!!
Well done. You may have defeated me hero, but you forget that I am immortal and I can't be killed. Nya, ha, ha, ha, ha....
*lop Salem limbs's off*
Gyahhh!!!!
What the fuck is the matter with you?! You already defeated me.
Jaune: I might not be able to finish you for good. But I can stop you from hurting anyone else.
Salem: Nye, he, he. But you forget hero my body can simply regenerate...
*starts to slowly regenerate*
Jaune: Which is why at the start of each day I'll cut off your limbs again.
Salem: Uhmmm....
Jaune: And I uh... I'll sharpen a pole. Stick it up inside you out through your mouth...
*starts sharpening pole*
And wear you on my back. Wriggling trophy for all to see...
Salem: What the fuck dude?!
You're a monster!
Meanwhile
Weiss: S-should we stop him?
Blake: Why? I mean we can't destroy Salem so we might as well do everything possible to stop her.
Yang: ... Is it wrong that I find this kinda hot?
Ruby: take a number Sis. I'mma gonna tap that ass first!
So Salem can't be destroyed, eh? Good to know, good to know...
I don't understand why team RWBY got so upset hearing that Salem can't be killed.
I'll just go full Yuji and see where things go from there.
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ludibriadormonoteista · 2 months
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BEFORE and AFTER II
Part 1 here.
Before:
Jaune: *Yawn* Man. This Vytal Tournament sure got me tired. I hope my Team doesn’t mind me taking a nap this early in the-
*SCHWING*
Jaune: *With a Saber Pointed to his Face* …Noon.
Winter: Mr. Arc, I presume.
Jaune: T-That’d be me! Wait, were you just waiting for me by the dorms?
Winter: That’s classified. *Sheats Saber* Winter Schnee. Atlas Specialist. I have come to discuss matters pertinent to you regarding my sister.
Jaune: You’re Weiss’ sister?! Uh-! I mean-! We’re good friends! Yeah! Though I guess you could say we started off on the wrong foot…
Winter: Quite the laughable understatement, Mr. Arc. For you see, Weiss has detailed in her letters many instances where you publicly harassed her with your feeble attempts at courting her.
Jaune: Hey, I wasn’t harassing her-
Winter: In case you were not aware, Weiss is a very prominent figure in Atlas, and as such, receives multiple solicitations from wealthy suitors on a daily basis. Men with far more ambition and talent than you could ever hope to achieve in your life.
Jaune: Now, wait a minute. Just because I’m not rich, that doesn’t mean I’m not up to snuff.
Winter: Is that so? *Raises a Folder* Because this extensive background check I have on you says otherwise.
Jaune: Extensive what now?
Winter: *Reading* Lack of proper education. Zero prior experience in the field. And absolutely no training to speak of. The best I could find were your admission transcripts, which were all filled out using crayons for whatever reason.
Jaune: I had run out of ink, okay?!
Winter: SILENCE! If the circumstances were any different, I would have you placed under arrest and locked up in the remotest cell in all of Solitas! However, doing so now would violate the Vytal Treaty amongst the Kingdoms. So instead, I will advise you to recognize my authority next time you elect to threaten the sanctity of my dear little sister again. Verstehst?!
Jaune: Y-Yeah- I-I versteht(?) that, alright!
Winter: Splendid. I will be watching the tournament for the remaining of its duration. It would do you well to know your place in the meantime. That will be all. *Marches Away*
Jaune: T-Thanks, have a great day! Hahah... *Nearly Faints* Oh dear…
After:
Yang: Alright, VB! You’ve got nowhere to run!
Jaune: Knock it off, Yang! You’ve been chasing after me all morning! Can we please talk about this?!
Yang: Nuh-uh~ Ruby’s biological clock is ticking, and I’ll be damned if I let the Rose Bloodline end here!
Jaune: Don’t you think this is moving things between me and Ruby a little too fast? Can’t we at least settle for a date first?
Yang: Oh, I’ll arrange you a date, alright… WITH HER WOMB-! *Encased in a Block of Ice*
Jaune: …What just happened?
Winter: *Descending with her Maiden Powers* That should hold her for a while. Imagine my surprise it was just you two causing a ruckus around Vacuo. For a moment I thought Salem had arrived.
Jaune: Oh thank goodness! It’s you, Winter. Sorry for all the trouble, Yang and I had a disagreement and-
Winter: Never mind all that. I was actually meaning to talk to you privately about something.
Jaune: Really? Is it a mission?
Winter: In a manner of speaking, yes. Ever since you and your friends came back, I have been worried about Weiss’ sake. To think I once thought to have forever lost my sister to that blasted abyss…
Jaune: …Winter?
Winter: *Harrumphs* Alas. I have been thinking about your actions back at that bridge. You fought tooth and nail to protect Weiss despite your shortcomings. Believe me when I say you have shown yourself worthy of my sister’s hand and affection.
Jaune: Oh… Wow! Thanks, that’s a… That’s a lot to take in. I’ll be sure to think about it.
Winter: What is there to think about?
Jaune: …I’m sorry?
Winter: You misunderstand, Mr. Arc. I am not merely granting you my blessing to date Weiss. My sister deserves the best, and as your commanding officer, I demand that you provide the best for her.
Jaune: Uh…
Winter: FURTHERMORE! You are to, effective immediately, seek to copulate with my sister for the betterment of the Schnee Bloodline!
Jaune: EH?!
Frozen!Yang: !!!
Winter: With your Aura and Semblances combined, your firstborn will become a key component to winning this war, as well as generating the perfect heir to uphold both our families’ legacy! Of course, I do not plan on holding it against you in the events Weiss explicitly decides to have more children-
Jaune: Okay, STOP! Full stop! Demanding that I hook up with Weiss is already one thing! But you cannot in good conscience order me to sleep with her! She’s your sister, for crying out loud!
Winter: Exactly! She is my sister, and I intend on getting her the perfect husband! I was foolish to dismiss you before, but not anymore! Now come with me!
Jaune: H-Hey! Just hear me out for a second! What I’m trying to say is-
Winter: THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH! I will ask you one last time to not make this more difficult than it has any right to be! You can come along willingly, or I can drag you out by force! EITHER WAY, YOU WILL BE IN MY SISTER’S ARMS SOON ENOUGH!
Jaune: Y-You’re not serious, are you?
Winter: *Saber in Hands, Winter Maiden Powers in Full Effect* I WILL NOT BE DENIED OF MY FUTURE NIECES AND NEPHEWS!
Jaune: …I should get back to running.
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arc-misadventures · 3 months
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How NOT To Cook
Yang: S-She didn't...
Jaune: Yeah...
Yang: S-Seriously...?
Jaune: Haaa... Yeah...
Yang: Is that why you rebuilt the kitchen?!
Jaune: Twice...
Yang: Twice?!
Jaune: Yeah...
Yang: Is this why you do all the cooking?
Jaune: I love my wife, but I fear for my life if I let her cook so much as instant noodles.
Yang: I can see tha...?! Is she cooking a flashbang on the stove?!
Jaune: Wha…?! RUBY NO?!!
Ruby:
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bluearc009 · 2 months
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Jaune and Ruby after their kiss
Ruby: man, I can't believe how tall you are.
Jaune:(face covered in lipstick marks) hey, I'm not that tall.
Ruby: I had to jump 9 times before I finally kissed you on the lips.
Jaune: I did offer to bend down but you said no.
Ruby: because it would have looked silly.
Jaune: no sillier than jumping nine times.
Ruby:(giggling) Touche.
Jaune: Happy Valentine's day Ruby ♥
Ruby: Happy Valentine's day Jaune ♥
This time Jaune bends down and kiss Ruby, both didn't care if it looks silly.
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Yang and Black after their kiss
Blake: sorry about that Yang.
Yang:(face coverd in lipstick marks) hey it's ok, you got a bit carried away.
Blake: no not that, I ment(pointing to Yang cleavage).
Yang look down and see a lipstick mark on her left breast.
Yang: OH that wasn't your fault, you tripped luckily for you my girls broke your fall.
Blake: Happy Valentine's day Yang ♥
Yang: Happy Valentine's day Blake ♥
Blake smile started kissing Yang again.
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superiorsturgeon · 23 days
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Gilded Rose: Baby Carrier
Jaune: *standing in line carrying Arkos baby in a carrier on his front*
Arkos Baby: 😴
Random person in line: Awww…! What an adorable baby…!
Jaune: You know what’s cuter than a baby…?
Jaune: *turns sideways revealing Lancaster twins in a second carrier on his back*
Lancaster Babies: 😪 🥺
Jaune: …three babies!
Random Person: Oh my gods they’re so cute! 😍
Jaune: They are, aren’t they…? 🥰
Jaune: …my back is SO tired right now…! 😫
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leorobotsworld · 30 days
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Ruby: Stop doing that
Jaune*literally just standing there*: Doing what?
Ruby: Things that make me want to kiss the hell out of you
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juanarc-thethird · 4 months
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New year, new experiences
Ruby: You know Jaune, this year you should try new things.
Jaune: You’re right. I should try that climbing school down the road.
Ruby: Well, I was thinking something different.
Jaune: Like what?
Ruby: Maybe… *gets closer* you can try… *hugs his arm* me?~💕
Jaune:…
Ruby:…
Jaune:…
Ruby: *serious* Answer me or I’m going to kick your butt.
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rachetmath · 2 months
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Emerald: Ruby? Weiss? May I talk to both of you for one minute?
Ruby: Emerald? You want to talk?
Emerald: Yes.
Weiss: With us?
Emerald: Yes. Do you both have the time or not?
Weiss: Um… sure.
Ruby: This is rare so I am curious about how this conversation will go.
Emerald: Okay, good. Now, if you don’t feel comfortable, we can drop this. Alright?
Ruby: Okay.
Weiss: Absolutely.
Emerald: Good. So… which one of you is going to give it up to Jaune?
Weiss: WHAT THE-
Ruby: WHEN DID WE GET TO THIS POINT?! WHEN?!
Emerald: I’m just saying. When are any of you going to give the man something for his efforts?
Weiss: There is no way this is happening. Especially not from you.
Ruby: *looks around*
Emerald: Ruby what are you doing?
Ruby: Checking for cameras and microphones at the very least. But mainly to see if Nora or Blake are hiding anywhere. This is something straight out of their book. 
Emerald: Look, I’m just asking a simple question. Now Ruby I understand considering-
Ruby: No. Stop.
Emerald: I mean-
Ruby: Shut up.
Emerald: Fine. But you Weiss, I don’t understand.
Weiss: Alright look. I somewhat am impressed with Jaune, but I don’t like him like that. We’re just friends.
Ruby: Yeah and so are we!
Emerald: So after everything he’s done for both of you, you don’t think of him as anything other than a friend?
Ruby and Weiss: Yes.
Emerald: Even though he helps both of you. Saves both of you. And kept both your sisters alive.
Ruby: Um…
Weiss: I mean… yeah.
Emerald: Mhmm. Disappointing.
Ruby: Excuse me?
Emerald: I’m just saying I met no one besides Hazel and Mercury who would go that far for me. If I were you girls I try to keep that around.
Weiss: What are you trying to say?
Me: Cinder and Neo may have had a point. You two don’t deserve shit. Ungrateful bitches.
Weiss: Look, Emerald, Ruby and I care about Jaune. Plus, you make it sound like we don’t stand a chance now to get with him.
Emerald: Because you don’t. Especially when you had Jessica ahead of you both.  And she’s not from this universe.
Ruby: How do you know about Jessica?
Emerald: Jaune told me and he didn’t skip the details. 
Ruby: … … um…
Emerald: And he’s older now.
Weiss: But not as mature.
Emerald: How so? I mean, he cares about others. And he’s responsible. How does that not count as being mature?
Weiss: Well he yelled at Ruby.
Emerald: Did he have a reason?
Ruby: He was always angry and frustrated.
Emerald: Again did he have a reason?
Ruby and Weiss: Yes.
Emerald: Okay, look, if you girls don’t want him fine. Just don’t be mad when another woman decides to claim him. 
Ruby: Pfft like who?
Emerald: I don’t know. Maybe just any girl willing to put up with him. Help him. And unlike Pyrrha would take any opportunity to seal the deal. Maybe Winter. Elm. Me. Harriet. Possibly any one better.
Ruby: Hold on what you say.
Emerald: I said what I said.
Weiss: Emerald, you are no older than us. 
Emerald: I mean I can wait and if it doesn’t work out I’ll find someone new. But again… what about you Schnee cause I believe your chances are slim.
Weiss: What? 
Emerald: Because you are basic.
Weiss: Basic? Oh, I will show you ‘basic’.
Ruby: No, Weiss. Calm down. No.
Weiss: Let me go, Ruby. 
Emerald: Well I am going to take my leave. Later losers.
Weiss: I KILL YOU!!
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brokentrafficknight · 4 months
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You now remember the Miles cameo about Lancaster becoming happy beach bums if they get married
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seshirukun · 5 months
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Together
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lord-of-rain · 12 days
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Ironwood: And that concludes the situation update. Any questions?
Ruby: *raises her hand*
Ironwood: I swear to the fucking brothers. If you suggest that you and Arc make more silver-eyed warriors again, I will shoot you.
Ruby: *lowers her hand*
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ludibriadormonoteista · 2 months
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BEFORE and AFTER
Before:
Jaune: There’s no way I put my gear in locker 636 yesterday! I would've remembered having to count that high- AAAH! *Gets Shoved Against the Wall*
Yang: What are your intentions with my sister?!
Jaune: Your sister?! OH! You mean Ruby? We just met, like, yesterday!
Yang: You think I don’t know what your game here is?! That I would let some guy my sister just met taint what’s left of her innocence?! I mean, what are the odds Ruby's first friend at Beacon turned out to be some good-for-nothing boy like you?!
Jaune: Fifty-fifty? *Gets Shoved Harder* OW!
Yang: I’m going to make myself very clear here! If you so much glance at her the wrong way, I will show you a world of pain only the Grimm can imagine! Got that?!
Jaune: *Gulp* Y-Yes ma’am.
Yang: Good. *Releases Him* I’ll be watching you at the initiation. Don’t even think about sneaking in the same Team as Ruby.
Jaune: I-I’ll keep that in mind…
After:
Jaune: Hey Yang, I got your message. I just finished helping some refugees from Mantle settle in. What did you wanna- WHOA! *Gets Shoved Against the Wall* …Well, this feels familiar.
Yang: What’s your deal with Ruby, huh?!
Jaune: My deal with Ruby?
Yang: Don’t play coy with me now! Just answer the damn question!
Jaune: N-Nothing! There’s nothing going on between me and her!
Yang: Yeah, I can see that! WHY HAVEN’T YOU MADE A MOVE ALREADY?!
Jaune: I-I SWEAR, YANG! I WASN’T- Wait, what?
Yang: Ruby has been travelling with you for over a year now. So why haven’t you two started dating yet?!
Jaune: Wha-?! Wha-?! But you told me back at Beacon-!
Yang: That was ages ago, you numb-nuts! Listen, Ruby needs a supportive partner who’s willing to go through the same lengths you did to protect her. You’ve seen what she went through in the Ever After. Don’t you think she deserves to settle down with someone she likes?
Jaune: I get where you coming from, but still-
Yang: And besides, we need more of “Her Kind” now more than ever!
Jaune: …I don’t follow.
Yang: Do I have to spell it out?! *Shoves Him Harder* Ruby was Summer’s only daughter! She’s literally the last of her kind! If we’re gonna stand a chance against Salem and her army, we need more Silver-Eyed Warriors!
Jaune: A-And how am I supposed to help with that?!
Yang: You know exactly how.
Jaune: I… Do?
Yang: Jaune. My man. My fellow blond-in-arms… I need you to continue the Rose Bloodline.
Jaune: WHAT?!
Yang: You heard me! I’ve seen what your family’s capable of! You and Ruby are the only ones who can get us a fresh batch of Silver-Eyed Juggernauts in record time!
Jaune: Yang! You’re talking crazy now!
Yang: RUBY’S GARDEN IS RUNNING BARREN AND SHE IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF YOUR VIRILE SEED, JAUNE!
Jaune: Yang, please! Come to your senses!
Yang: I WON’T LET MENOPAUSE TAKE AWAY MANKIND’S LAST HOPE! YOU WILL MAKE ME AN AUNT EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING YOU’LL DO!
Jaune: SORRY! *Slips Through his Armor, Escaping her Grip* I just remembered I’m needed somewhere else! See ya! *Running for his Life*
Yang: HEY! GET BACK HERE! *Gives Chase* YOU WILL F#CK MY SISTER OR SO HELP ME!
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arc-misadventures · 2 months
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Half, And Half
Jaune: Ruby's drinking.
Yang: What?! She's too young tooo... Eh?
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Jaune: Yeah. Can you take that away from her?
Yang: It's just orange soda, what's the harm?
Jaune: It's half, and half. Half soda, half vodka.
Yang: WHAT?!
Jaune: I'm scared, she gets frisky when she's drunk.
Yang: SHE GET'S WHAT WHEN WHAT?!!
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dragonking10 · 4 months
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What if Jaune had PTSD from his time at the Ever After?
It was a beautiful morning, the sun was barely rising leaving a beautiful stunning view of the hills of trees and one two-story house the middle of woods with fences around the yard and a beautiful rose garden in the front and a barn in the backyard with two horses in the field running around in a fenced area next to the house when suddenly
Jaune wakes up: I'M LATE!!!
Jaune rushes out of bed waking up his wife Ruby in the process
Ruby rubbing her eyes: Late for what?
She sees her husband rushing to get his armor on then it realization suddenly hit her.
Ruby: Jaune WAIT!
Jaune with his armor half-way on: I CAN'T RUBY, THERE'S NO TIME I HAVE TO SAVE THEM!
Ruby: Jaune look at me *grabs his face and gently make him face her* Look at me.
Ruby can see her husband's eyes dialated as if he's stuck in a memory.
Ruby: Listen to my voice and take a deep breath.
Jaune takes a deep breath.
Ruby: That's it, you're doing good, come back to me.
Jaune's eyes suddenly turned back to normal as he slowly looks around then back to his wife.
Jaune sighs: I did it again didn't I?
Ruby nods
Jaune hugs Ruby: I'm sorry-
Ruby: Don't be, I'm always here for you. Let's get back in bed you're exhausted.
Ruby slowly guides him back to their bed and gently pulls Jaune down, resting his head on her lap.
Jaune: I don't deserve you.
Ruby: Yes you do, you derserve me alot than you think.
Ruby gently rubs Jaune's hair out of face and continues to pet him, soothing his worries.
Jaune: I... love...zzz.
Jaune falls asleep
Ruby smiles and kisses his forehead: I love you too Jaune.
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superiorsturgeon · 3 months
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Gilded Rose in the Gym
Jaune/Ruby: *groaning in soreness*
Pyrrha: Good job today, both of you! I’m going to go finish my last set! I’ll see you both later! Love you! 😘 *happily walks away to continue training*
Jaune: *groans* My butt is so sore…how many deadlifts does Pyrrha expect me to do?
Ruby: At least you’re not being tortured with a thousand different upper body movements! Look at my poor arms! *weakly extends one trembling hand*
Ruby: You would think my own girlfriend would give me a break out of love, but oh, no! “I love you too much to let you miss out on training, Ruby!” 😫
Jaune: *rubs his butt, walking slowly and painfully* The gains are so not worth this…!
Ruby: *looks down*
Ruby: Yeah…gains…
Jaune: You okay back there, Rubes?
Ruby: *eying the New and Improved Arc Booty™️*
Ruby: *slowly and weakly raises one sore arm*
Jaune: Ruby, what are you doing…?
Ruby: *winding up her trembling hand, eye-humping her boyfriend’s developing butt*
Jaune: …wait…don’t tell me…
Ruby: *supports her wobbly upraised arm with her off-hand*
Jaune: …Ruby, no.
Ruby: Sorry, Jaune. I have to.
Jaune: Think about what you’re doing.
Ruby: I have no choice.
Jaune: Please, control yourself. Don’t do this.
Ruby: Girlfriend rules. I just gotta.
Jaune: If you slap my butt I will collapse on this floor.
Ruby: I’m sorry, but I have to. Forgive me, Jaune.
Jaune: Very well, do what you must. Just know that if I don’t survive…I love you.
Ruby: Don’t talk like that, Jaune. I’ll see you on the other side.
*SMACK*
Jaune: Aaah, my ass!! *crumbles*
Ruby: My arm!!! *folds like a wet noodle*
Jaune/Ruby: *collapse on top of each other in a pile of exhausted soreness* 😵
Weiss: *watching the proceedings from the gym’s smoothie bar* Those guys are dorks. 😑
Pyrrha: *standing beside Weiss* Yes, but they’re MY dorks! 🥰
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