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andvys · 11 months

Text

We'll burn the sky | part seventeen

Warnings: 18+, minors don't interact!, slight angst, mentions of unrequited feelings, revealing photoshoots, drugs, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of throwing up, allusion to depression and eating disorders, (reader struggles to eat)

Pairings: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x fem!rockstar!reader | Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Chapter summary: Things seem to be going better when suddenly everything changes.

Word count: 7k

Author's note: @mysticmunson , thank you for the idea with the photoshoot, I could finally use it!

stranger things masterlist | series masterlist

The concert was over and you were getting ready to leave the venue when you were informed about the crowd of journalists and paparazzis outside, waiting for a chance to talk to you, more like harassing you with their disrespectful questions.

Rob didn’t want to let you go out there, he was hoping that you could use the back entrance but apparently they have found their way there as well, it doesn’t matter which entrance you will use, they will find a way to get to you anyways, at some point.

He told you to wait, at least until some of them give up, you don’t mind and neither do the others.

You sit on the couch, squished between Eddie and Steve. The three of you watch Robin in amusement, her back is pressed against the wall as your friend Jamie flirts with her like her.

“Have you ever seen her this red?”

Steve chuckles, shaking his head, “nope, she must be really into her.”

Eddie laughs, his arm resting on the back of the couch, his fingertips grazing your skin softly, “now you got something to tease her with.”

You slap his shoulder lightly, “leave the poor girl alone, she’s falling in love right now. I think you might have to give up your hotel room for the night though,” you smirk as you watch Robin eye your friend up and down, biting her lip as she tugs her hair behind her ear.

Steve’s eyes widen, “oh shit.”

“You can stay with Wayne but I have to warn you, he snores like a bear,” Eddie chuckles, causing Steve to groan.

You snort at Steve’s demise, he throws his head back and rolls his eyes.

“Or you can stay with us,” you shrug.

“Us?” Steve mumbles.

“Mhmm, Eddie and I are always roommates,” you giggle.

Eddie nudges your shoulder, chuckling at your choice of words, “roommates huh?”

You nod, “you don’t mind adding another for the night, right? It’s not like you haven’t had sleepovers before,” you smirk as you give them both a look, “I always wanted to have a sleepover with two dudes.”

Steve blushes, coughing, he runs his fingers through his hair as he straightens up, while Eddie shakes his head at you with a smirk on his face.

You look away from them, glancing at Robin again, “aw, look at those heart eyes.”

“She’s not the only one who has those,” Gareth grins as he abandons his conversation with Frankie, who gladly joins in on his teasing.

“Yeah, I agree with Gareth,” she smirks as she glances at Eddie and Steve before her eyes meet yours and she wiggles her brows at you, “one already got his new years kiss.”

You roll your eyes at her, shaking your head as you look down at your drink with a small smile on your face.

Eddie didn’t exactly get a kiss, only one on the corner of his mouth. That was enough to make the crowd cheer for you, and Eddie grinned at you like crazy, it was cute but it wasn’t a real kiss.

Eddie glances at you, smiling when he sees the flustered look on your face.

“You should do that again in front of the journalists and the paparazzis,” Gareth says, grinning at you.

Frankie’s eyes widen at his words, she slaps his shoulder, “yes! Actually, you should totally give them something else to talk about.”

“Like what?”

The smug look on her face should be enough for you to know that she will suggest something that has to do with the two men by your side.

“Give your two lovers a kiss when you leave the venue.”

Steve’s eyes widen and his cheeks flush red at your friend’s words, though he can’t suppress the smile.

Eddie tilts his head as he thinks about her words, opening his mind to the idea. He knows that the press can get easily distracted by other and new ‘scandals’, maybe that will distract them enough to forget about that damn article.

“You should strive on chaos, babe,” she says, “do shit that will overwhelm them to the point where they won’t even come after you anymore.”

“You really think that could work?” You ask, looking skeptical.

She shrugs, “you should try but keep it legal of course, no… drugs and shit, of course.”

“Yeah, no,” you mumble, shaking your head, “you know I thought that minding my own business and ignoring them could work but that… sounds more fun,” you smirk.

Eddie turns to look at you, raising his brows, “fun, huh?”

You nod, “yeah, what do you say?”

Eddie looks over your shoulder, eyes locking with Steve’s who already smirks at him. He shrugs at him, he is obviously open to the idea of kissing you, why wouldn’t he be?

Maybe he should be bothered by it but after all your conversations and the reassurance he got from you, he has no reason to feel scared or jealous. Steve isn’t some guy, he’s just Steve, his best friend.

Eddie looks back at you, a smirk tugging at his lips, “I say, let’s do it.”

While Gareth and Frankie were prepared for your little plan, the rest of your friends had no idea what you were about to do. You were glad that Wayne left a few minutes before you though, you don’t want to give that poor man a heart attack.

Eddie is the first to step out into the cold, instantly shielding his eyes from the bright flashing lights, cringing at the loud noises, the screaming fans and the journalists who are yelling their questions out. He ignores them, waving at his fans instead and holding your hand tightly as you step out after him, drowning out all the voices, ignoring the prying eyes and any mentions of your dad or your supposedly drug addiction.

You keep a smile on your face, one that gets even brighter when you feel Steve’s hand on the small of your back, you have to suppress the grin that tugs at your lips. He looks down at you with a smile on his face as he kisses your temple. Eddie chuckles to himself when the flashing lights get even brighter and the screams get louder.

To add the cherry on top, Eddie turns around before stepping on the tour bus, he grabs your face and after making sure that you are really on board with it, he leans down and presses his lips against yours, kissing you softly.

It’s more of a long peck, wanting to save a real kiss for a more special moment.

Gareth and Frankie giggle and high five each other while the rest of your friends stare at you in shock.

“What the hell are they doing?” Rob mumbles, putting his hands on his hips as he stares at the three of you.

Gareth smirks, “giving them something to work with.”

The three of you stumble into the room in laughter, still giggling about what you did before, even after Rob’s scolding, you were still enjoying yourselves.

“Have you seen their faces?” Eddie laughs, leaning against the door after closing it.

Steve chuckles at the two of you, watching the way you lean against Eddie as you look up at him with a grin on your face, “they’ll definitely have something to talk about now.”

“Yeah and I’m finally gonna be famous,” Steve jokes, “although, your fans are probably gonna hate me.”

He throws his jacket off, placing it on the chair next to the table. You turn around to face him, taking your shoes and jacket off as well, “who could ever hate such a pretty face,” you tease, patting his cheek softly.

Eddie chuckles behind you, “all your little fanboys will hate him, sweetheart.”

“Well, he wasn’t the one who kissed me on the lips,” you say, “it was you.”

“Yeah, maybe they’ll hate you now, dude.”

“That would be criminal, I’ve known her before they even knew about her,” Eddie says, shaking his head.

“And I’ve known you way before any of those groupies knew you, yet they probably hate me for kissing their dream man.”

He couldn’t care less about groupies.

Eddie smirks, “am I not your dream man?”

“In your dreams,” you grin but you both know damn well that he is in fact your dream man. You look away from him, giggling at the smile on his face, he follows you with his eyes as you bend down to retrieve something from your suitcase, “I’ll be right back, gotta take a shower,” you say as you make your way to the bathroom, “no funny business,” you tease as you look between them.

They both chuckle.

“What did you tell her?” Steve asks after you close the door behind you.

“What do you mean?”

Steve shrugs, hating the way he blushes again, he turns away from Eddie and approaches the large windows that look over the city.

“She’s been making comments about us and smirking this whole time.”

“Oh,” Eddie laughs, scratching the back of his neck, “well, just stuff we did before..”

“Ah,” Steve nods.

“Is that okay?”

He furrows his brows, nodding again, “yeah sure, I was just wondering.”

“Alright,” Eddie mumbles.

He kicks his shoes off and takes his leather jacket off, throwing it on the couch before he makes his way over to the large bed, sitting down, he yawns as he lets his body fall into the soft cushions, the exhaustion from this day catching up to him.

He looks up at the ceiling, listening to the shower running, he glances at Steve who looks over at him when he feels Eddie’s eyes on him.

“You’re gonna stand there all night?” Eddie chuckles.

Steve shakes his head, looking around the room, he eyes the empty spot on the bed before he looks over at the couch, settling for that, for now.

“I don’t bite,” Eddie grins at him.

“Yes you do,” Steve snorts, looking into his eyes, he suddenly finds himself reminiscing. He remembers the nights at the hideout when they had just become friends. The music Corroded Coffin played back then, wasn’t exactly Steve’s style but he still came to support his friend, eventually it grew on him.

He would be there every Tuesday, watching Eddie play. And as they got closer, he was one of the people who told him to go for it, move to LA and try his luck, he even offered to lend him some money, he would do anything to help him get out of a town that only ever hurt him.

Sure, he missed him, he still does but it’s nice to know that his friend made it, that he not only made his dream come true but he also found you and while things between the two of you have gone majorly wrong for some time, he knows that it can still be fixed, that you can both heal together.

Eddie had already changed, he became much more confident, he is more self assured than he was before. His struggles are still there but instead of drowning them in weed and alcohol, he has found a much healthier alternative.

He tries to do better, for you and for himself.

“Hey Eddie.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you.”

Eddie’s brows knit together, he pushes himself up, looking into Steve’s eyes.

“I’m really proud of you, man. You made it, you made your dreams come true and you found the girl. You’re living the life, Eds.”

His words come from his heart, they are nothing but genuine. Steve couldn’t be more happy.

“That means a lot to me, man.”

Eddie was always a bit emotional, tears always welled up in his eyes easily, his father always made him feel weak for crying, ‘men don’t cry’. It’s bullshit and luckily, Eddie always knew that. He never listened to the things his father told him, he wasn’t exactly a great example anyways. He never lived by the things he tries to teach him, he wanted to be nothing like him.

“Don’t cry, dude,” Steve chuckles, though his eyes soften at the tears in Eddie’s eyes.

Eddie scoffs, raising his hands up to his face, he quickly wipes those tears away and chuckles, “who’s crying? Me? Never,” he jokes.

He gets up, walking towards his friend. Steve rises to his feet as well, almost instinctively opening his arms, embracing his best friend.

Eddie wraps his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Your voice makes them both pull away from each other, they turn to look at you, seeing the smirk on your face makes them both blush, “don’t mind me, I can totally go hang out with Frankie and Gareth right now–”

“You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart,” Eddie chuckles. His heart flutters, you’re wearing his shirt again.

“Okay,” you shrug, “you better get in the shower, I’m not sleeping next to your sweaty ass.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckles, patting Steve on the back, he steps away from him, winking at you as he reaches for some clean clothes in his suitcase.

Once Eddie locks himself in the bathroom, you turn to Steve, “come here,” you mumble, patting the spot next to you after getting under the covers, “or would you prefer to sleep in the middle so you can snuggle Eddie at night?”

Steve rolls his eyes, chuckling, “no, I’d rather snuggle you.”

“Oh yeah?”

He nods, grinning at you as he takes his sweater off, folding it neatly on the couch, his jeans following.

“So the things you said about the threesome were bullshit then?”

You adjust the pillows behind you, making yourself more comfortable, “huh?”

“You know, at the trailer, that night, you said that you had done this before, with two guys.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Come on,” he mumbles, tilting his head, he eyes you with a small smile on his face, “earlier, you said that you always wanted to have a sleepover with two dudes.”

You chuckle.

“Well, I didn’t sleep over when we fucked,” you lie, shrugging.

“You’re full of shit, honey,” he chuckles as he reaches for the water bottle on the table, opening the cap, “I know when you lie,” he smirks before he drinks the water.

“Yeah,” you sigh, “you’re like a human lie detector, sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?”

You nod, watching as he gets under the sheets next to you.

“Yeah, you don’t read the others as well as you read me, I don’t know why.”

Steve smiles, eyes falling to the necklace he gave you, “it’s because I pay attention to you.”

You smile at him.

“Yeah,” you whisper, giving his hand a squeeze, “you really do.”

You both fall silent, getting comfortable on the large bed, you turn on the TV the way you do every night before you go to sleep.

You think about Frankie’s words, when she pointed out the looks that Steve threw at Eddie.

“Hey Steve?”

“Yeah?”

You move to your side, placing your elbow on the pillow and leaning your head against your hand.

“Eddie told me about what happened between you two,” you say, taking in the blush that quickly takes over his face, “before Chrissy, I mean.”

“Oh,” he whispers.

“I mean, I kind of expected it already, you know?”

“W-Why?”

“Because of the kiss,” you shrug, “that night at the trailer.”

You thought back to that many times and a part of you, couldn’t help but wonder what things would be like if you didn’t storm out, if you didn’t overthink and ruin the moment for both yourself and them.

“It just looked too natural, like you have done it before.”

He nods, smiling shyly, “well, yeah we did.”

“I know that now,” you chuckle, “but uh– can I ask you something more serious?”

He nods, “yeah, of course.”

“Did you– do you like him? I mean as more than a friend?”

His eyes widen and he sucks in a sharp breath, he blinks and for a moment, he just silently stares at you.

“I liked Eddie,” he admits, the lingering sadness in his eyes makes you frown, “but uh, I wasn’t really aware of my feelings back then– well, I was but I wasn’t very acceptive of them. I knew we would never work out so I never tried anything. We were close, we did things together that I certainly wouldn’t do with other friends but he never showed me that he would actually want anything more than that and I was clearly too scared to make a move.”

“Oh..”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, giving you a small smile, “it’s whatever, it’s in the past. But I was kinda heartbroken when he told me about his date with Chrissy,” he chuckles.

“Shit,” you breathe, “he’s an idiot.”

At that Steve laughs, laying back, he looks at the ceiling as he puts his hand on his forehead, “unfortunately, I have to agree.”

“You would’ve been so hot together,” you giggle, “wait– you were Eddie’s first groupie!”

Steve laughs at you, throwing a pillow at you, “shut up!”

Eddie settles in on the other side of you after his shower, eying you both suspiciously when you keep on giggling. He shakes his head at you before he snuggles up to you, not even minding his friend laying on your other side.

As you lay here between two people that mean everything to you, you realize that things aren’t as bad as you thought they would be. Your friends here, they came here just for you. Steve is here, his presence calms you and most importantly, you have him.

After all the awful moments in the past few weeks, after thinking that this hell would never end, you finally feel somewhat at peace. The press and the prying people will never make your life easy, they will always throw rocks your way, trying to get you to fall. But you won’t. They can write stories about you, they can make up lies and point their fingers at you and try to make you feel miserable but it won’t happen because why should it matter what they say? Why should you worry about what meaningless people say and think of you?

As you looked into the crowd tonight, you realized that the people, the ones that came for the band and for you, still looked at you the same, they still cheered for you, they still smiled at you when you held out your hand for them to take.

Your friends, your family is still here and they will be here because the right ones, they always stay, no matter what and the ones that don’t are simply not meant to stay.

Eddie squeezes your hand and he smiles at you when you turn to face him. A feeling of hope rushes through you and suddenly you know that everything will be okay.

Steve sighs behind you, Eddie looks over at him, mumbling something to the man on the other side of you.

For some reason it feels normal to lay here between them both, it makes you giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Steve snorts, eyes flashing with amusement as he looks down at you.

You shake your head, still laughing.

“What’s up with you, smiley?” Eddie asks.

“Nothing,” you chuckle as you throw your head back, looking up at the ceiling, “it’s just.. funny.”

“What is?” Steve asks, furrowing his brows.

“Us. We all kissed and you know,” you pause as you take a deep breath, “and now we’re laying here, together. Sleepover, Two dudes and a girl,” you giggle.

“Sounds like the title of a bad porn movie,” Eddie chuckles in amusement.

“It does.”

“We might have one of those at Family Video,” Steve says.

“Hmm, maybe we should give it a different title then,” Eddie murmurs as he scrunches his face up.

“What about, two rockstars and the groupie,” you giggle, wiggling your brows at Steve.

Steve’s shoulders shake, he looks at you, nodding, “yeah, that’s perfect.”

“I mean isn’t that accurate,” Eddie shrugs, smirking at his friend, “you did kiss two rockstars before.”

Steve rolls his eyes, “you weren’t a rockstar back then, Eddie.”

He almost looks offended at his words, putting his hand on his chest as he shakes his head, a few drops of water landing on your skin from his wet hair, “I was born a rockstar,” he pauses, “just like you,” he grins as he taps your nose.

Your giggle makes his heart flutter, he looks down at you with a happy look in his eyes, one that makes Steve smile as he watches the two of you with a softened gaze.

“Hey, maybe we should call one of the journalists, tell them to use that title when they put us on the cover of some gossip magazine.”

“You know what else we should do?”

“What?” Both men ask as they look at you with curious eyes.

“We should get drunk.”

Eddie smirks.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to get drunk before another long day ahead but you couldn’t care less this night. It would be the one last with Steve, for now. You wanted to make the best of it.

The mini bar didn’t offer much alcohol but enough to get you all tipsy before you ended up ordering more along with some food.

You watched some shitty horror movie, played a game of never have I ever and snapped some pictures with your polaroid. You laughed together and enjoyed the night and when you woke up the next morning, tangled in the sheet next to the both of them, you couldn’t help but smile.

You made more memories, ones that healed you a little more.

Your friend had of course teased you when you all met up for breakfast later but you didn’t mind.

It was one of the best nights of your life.

You hated saying goodbye to Steve, again but he promised to come to Los Angeles when the tour is over.

January 17th, 1989

It’s been a while since anyone wrote anything here. A lot has happened but things are going well. The paparazzis are dicks but what is new? I’m having a photoshoot tomorrow :) -y/n.

Eddie stares at you wide eyed, he is practically drooling as he watches you bend over in another one of the skimpy outfits they have put you in.

“Yes, just like that!” The photographer, Phil, yells. “Give us more, girl.”

If Phil wasn’t gay, he would be getting a punch in his nose right now. Eddie rolls his eyes at the assistant who is clearly undressing you with his eyes right now, if he keeps looking at you like that, he will actually get a punch in his stupid face.

“Dude, are you still there?” Steve’s voice sounds through the receiver.

“Yeah… Yeah, shit.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, no– I mean yes,” Eddie stammers as his cheeks grow red.

The leather skirt rides up your thighs, exposing the black lace underneath it, you run your hand down your body as you lean back slightly, looking into the camera seductively.

Phil cheers you on, snapping more pictures of you before he tells you to change into your next outfit. He snaps at his assistant, “get me that male model– what’s his name again? Uh, doesn’t matter, just bring him in.”

Eddie’s jaw drops, eyes flashing with jealousy. Male Model?

“Did he just say male model?” Steve gasps.

“Yeah,” Eddie says through gritted teeth, “I’m gonna kick his ass. You should see the stupid outfits they make her wear.”

Steve laughs, “are you having a hard time over there, Eddie?”

He rolls his eyes, “actually yeah.”

You rush back, leaving the dressing room, you’re pulling at the corset, tugging it up higher to hide your chest more.

“What the fuck–” Eddie gasps, staring at you like a deer caught in headlights. He barely even holds the receiver.

He knew about this magazine, about what kinds of outfits you would be wearing, still he didn’t expect it to get more and more revealing.

The corset hugs your waist and your chest tightly, the tiny little skirt does absolutely nothing to cover your ass and of course, they made you wear a fucking thong. The stockings on your legs and the high heels make you look dangerous.

Eddie blinks in disbelief, you look hot and so sexy. He swallows, his cheeks heat up and his stomach flutters.

“She looks so–”

The male model walks in, wearing nothing but jeans and a leather jacket. The moment his eyes land on you, he smiles, waving at you.

“What a fucking prick,” Eddie mumbles, eyes flashing with anger.

“Who? The male model?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says through gritted teeth, watching as you settle on the loveseat.

“Dude if you don’t do that photoshoot with her, I’m gonna catch the next flight there and kick your ass.”

Eddie frowns, “you think I should?”

“Of course!”

“Okay… yeah, I should,” he stammers as he watches Phil still talking to the man, “I’ll call you later.”

Eddie slams the receiver back in place and rushes towards Phil, ignoring the curious look on your face.

“Hey uh–, Phil?”

The snarky man holds his hand up in front of his face, “I’m talking,” he snaps, without even turning around to look at him.

“Yeah well, so am I,” Eddie snaps back, “you don’t need that dude, I’ll do the shoot with her.”

You raise your brows in surprise, suppressing a smirk.

Phil raises his brows, turning around to look at the rockstar, he chuckles, “you think you can just come here and do whatever you want?”

Eddie crosses his arms over his chest and nods, “yeah, I can,” Eddie says confidently, “you think anyone wants to see this– this jock looking prick?” Eddie mumbles pointing to the guy in front of him, “they don’t, they wanna see two rockstars.”

“Yeah Phil, don’t you read the gossip magazines?” You smirk, “they’re crazy about Eddie.”

The older man sighs, “yeah whatever, get changed, rockstar,” he snaps before he turns to the model, “and you get out of here.”

Eddie winks at you before Phil’s assistant leads Eddie to the dressing room.

It only takes him ten minutes until he comes back with a new outfit and his hair curlier than before. A smug look on his face as he walks towards you. You chuckle to yourself, the jealous and angry look in his eyes is now replaced by the satisfied one.

“Go to your girl, I’ll be right there,” Phil says to Eddie, snapping his finger at him again.

You place your palm against the soft cushions as you lean back, putting your leg over the other as you eye Eddie up and down, “happy now?”

He hums, nodding proudly. Eddie surprises you by placing his hands on your waist and picking you up, placing you on your feet, he grins at the wide eyes. Sitting down, he pulls you down on his lap, you squeal a little, throwing your arms around his neck.

“Eddie!”

He chuckles at you, “Eddie!” He mocks.

Slapping his chest, you roll your eyes at him.

While you and Eddie decided to take things slow, you weren’t exactly good at it. Just like before, you are around each other, all the time. When he is not holding your hand, he has his arm wrapped around your shoulder or your waist, when you don’t sleep in hotel rooms together, you either sleep in his bunk or he will stay with you in your little room on the tour bus. You don’t kiss and you don’t have sex, not yet. But you still want to be near each other.

And you do everything to tease each other, more than you did before.

“Did you really think I’d let that asshole touch you?” He whispers after pushing your hair to the side.

You blink, looking around nervously, you watch the people rush around, not paying attention to you.

Eddie presses a teasing kiss to your shoulder as he slides his hand down to your hips, “did you see the way he looked at you?”

“Yes.”

“Every time someone looks at you or even touches you, I wanna rip their fucking hands off.”

His voice sends shivers down your spine, his touch makes your heart flutter, you squeeze your thighs together when he kisses you again.

“You are mine,” he whispers into your ear, “look at me.”

You tighten your hold around his neck and look into his eyes and he smiles, “you are mine, right?”

You run your hand down his chest and lean closer to him, brushing his curls back, smiling as you press a soft kiss to his cheek, “all yours.”

He smirks as his eyes lighten up, he cups your cheek, “that’s right, sweetheart.”

The flashing lights of the camera pulls you out of your little trance.

“You two are just naturals,” Phil beams as he continues to snap pictures of you, “just keep doing your thing, rockstars.”

Eddie chuckles, tightening his grip on your waist, “see? We’re naturals, baby.”

February 4th, 1989

I can’t believe the tour is almost over, just a few weeks and we are back home, well, back in California. We’ve been in so many cool cities, performed in front of some big crowds, I think we all got closer as well. I can’t wait to start working on new songs and record another album. I just know that we’ll go back on tour in no time. –Jeff.

Things went well for a while, you managed to focus on yourself, focus on Eddie and the band, your concerts, not paying attention to any of the negative things that were happening outside of your little bubble.

You were feeling okay until one morning, you woke up and suddenly everything changed.

That feeling of nausea has been haunting you for the past two weeks, every morning and night, you feel like you’re about to puke your guts out but nothing ever comes out. You barely eat, you struggle to do so. Every time you even bite into something, the bile in your throat rises and the panic settles in your chest– that weird feeling when you know you’re about to throw up.

That constant feeling of sickness is so overwhelming, especially when you have to pretend that you are fine when all you really want to do is lay down and sleep until that feeling goes away.

All those interviews, the photoshoots, the press, those persistent journalists and paparazzis that still follow you around make it all just worse. You can deal with them but this sickness makes you feel exhausted.

You step back and look at yourself, staring at your reflection with a frown on your face, you are so tired. Your stomach hurts, probably from the lack of food but you can’t get anything down.

You blink, pressing your lips together, you put your hand on your chest.

“Sweetheart, are you okay in there?” Eddie asks, knocking on the door before he allows himself in, looking around to make sure that no one else is using the restroom.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you nod, plastering a smile on your face.

He is concerned, his eyes are filled with worry, he closes the door and walks towards you. Reaching out to cup your cheeks, “are you sure?” He asks, “we can go back to our room, we don’t have to stay here.”

You’re celebrating Jeff’s birthday at the hotel bar. There’s no way that you will leave yet, he is one of your best friends.

You shake your head, “no, it’s okay. I wanna stay.”

He doesn’t look convinced, he has been worried about your health for some time now. You tried your best to hide it, you tried to act like you are fine but you can’t hide it from him, not when you’re constantly around each other. He has been begging you to go see a doctor but you are stubborn and refuse to listen to anything he or Rob are saying.

It all changed so suddenly, one day you were feeling fine and the next day you woke up feeling sick and it hasn’t stopped ever since.

Eddie holds your hand tightly, keeping his other hand on your lower back as you both walk back to the table. The music and the loud noises overwhelm you a little but you try to drown them out as best as you can.

Eddie is rubbing circles on your back, hoping that it will soothe your discomfort a little.

You meet the excited eyes of Wren who flew in just to spend time with Jeff this weekend. She smiles as she looks between you and Eddie but then it just falls as quickly as it came when her eyes lock on something– on someone else.

You furrow your brows at the pale look on her face.

“Y/n?”

You haven’t heard that voice in years but you would recognize it anywhere, a weird feeling rushes through your body. You halt in your tracks and turn around, tightening your hold on Eddie’s hand, he gives you a questioning look but you aren’t looking at him, no, yours are locked on the man who stands by the bar.

Eddie recognizes him, he doesn’t remember his name but he knows that he’s the lead singer of some band from England.

As Eddie looks at you, taking in the nervous expression on your face, your hand that is squeezing his tightly as you force a smile on your face to greet the man that just called out to you, he suddenly feels realization dawning on him. He is the man you have told him about when you opened up about the drugs. Instantly, he finds a dislike towards the man he doesn’t even know, his protectiveness takes over and he pulls you into him, placing his hand on your waist. You instinctively lean into him, relaxing into his touch.

“Jay, hi..”

Eddie eyes him, he is a little taller than him, tousled blond hair, blue eyes that take in the sight of you. He has tattoos on both arms, a nose ring. He is significantly older than you, maybe in his mid thirties.

“Hey sweet thing, long time no see,” he smiles. His eyes stop at the hand attached to your hip and he chuckles a little before he looks at Eddie who clenches his jaw at the pet name.

You blink, looking between both men, “uh– Eddie that’s Jay, Jay that’s Eddie..”

They greet each other with forced smiles.

“Are you two together?” Jay asks, pointing his finger between the two of you.

You swallow nervously, looking up at Eddie who already nods at his question, “yeah, we’re together as you can see,” Eddie mumbles as he brings his palm up to your shoulder.

He chuckles, nodding, “yeah.”

The tension is thick, Eddie glares at the man in front of him, you know that he already figured out who he is.

“Uh– so what brings you here?” You ask.

“I’m working on a new album, love.”

You nod, “that’s cool...”

“Yeah, you know, I’d ask for your help but you got your own band now,” he smiles, glancing at Eddie for a moment before he looks back at you, “never thought I’d see you on the big stage, you used to be so.. shy.”

Something about the way he looks down at you as he talks makes Eddie’s blood boil, not because of jealousy but because he feels so protective over you. He clearly has no good intentions and the way he eyes you like you’re some piece of meat makes him want to bash his face into the counter.

You chuckle nervously, “well, times change and people do too.”

He nods, “yeah, they really do change,” he chuckles, eying you up and down, “we should go out sometime.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so man,” Eddie mumbles in annoyance, not even caring about sounding rude.

Jay chuckles in amusement, smirking at Eddie, “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to her.”

Rolling your eyes, you place your hand over Eddie’s, grabbing it tightly, “no, he’s right. We’re busy anyways, we should go now, it was nice to see you,” you mumble with a fake smile, tugging at Eddie’s hand, you just want to escape the situation quickly.

Eddie takes another second to glare at the blond man, he scoffs quietly as he turns his back on him, squeezing your hand and pulling you along with him but just as you turn to leave, Jay reaches for your arm and pulls you back, “hold on.”

Eddie is almost ready to fight the man, groaning in annoyance but you put your hand on his chest, “it’s okay,” you whisper. He doesn’t look convinced, his brown eyes are filled with both anger and concern, “it’s okay,” you repeat.

He nods at you. Taking a deep breath, you turn back around, “what is it?”

Jay ignores Eddie’s presence, who sizes the man up before he turns away with a clenched jaw.

“You don’t look well, darling.”

Frowning at his words, you shrug, “well, the tour is pretty stressful.”

“I can get you something, if you want.”

Pills, cocaine, drugs..

You scoff, shaking your head, “no, thanks.”

He looks over your shoulder to check if Eddie is still looking away.

“You need a little pick me up,” he mumbles and before you can protest or speak up, he pushes a little plastic baggie into your hand, “you need it, trust me.”

You look down at it, heart jumping to your throat, your eyes flash with disgust. You don’t need it, you don’t want it. And still, you clutch it tightly in your hand before you can give it back to him, you just watch him walk away from you, winking at you.

You don’t want it.

“Come on, sweetheart.”

You let Eddie pull you away, he guides you away from the bar and not into the direction of your friends but outside, he wants to make sure that you’re okay.

The moment you step into the lobby, Eddie grabs your face, looking for any sign of fear or discomfort on your face. He sees the haunted look in your eyes, the anxiety.

“Are you okay?” He whispers even though he knows that you are not okay.

No, you just ran into a toxic old flame who placed drugs into your hand and you did nothing, you just stood there and accepted it.

“Yeah..”

He doesn’t believe you.

“That was him, right?”

You nod.

“Want me to kick his ass?”

Your face breaks into a smile and chuckle falls from your lips.

“No, it’s okay,” you giggle.

“Are you sure? Cause I can totally do that, I hate that asshole.”

“You don’t even know him.”

“Yeah well, one interaction was enough for me to hate him. He almost ruined your life.”

You shake your head, “no,” you whisper, “I’m okay… I really am.”

You reach for his hand and give him a small smile, “I promise,” you whisper.

He nods even though he doesn’t look convinced at all, he leans in and kisses your forehead, “okay.”

You didn’t touch them, you won’t touch them, you know you should’ve thrown them away but something pushed you to keep them. Now you are staring at two things that could potentially change your life.

One, the stupid baggie that contains that white powder that will definitely ruin your life.

Two, the letter, your Dad’s letter that you have yet to open. It might save you or it might kill you, who knows what he wrote to you?

Will you ever read it? You don’t know because what if that will break you? What if that will push you to ruin your life?

You don’t feel like yourself, you haven’t felt like yourself in weeks. Maybe it’s the drastic change that you have felt inside of you or maybe it’s the lack of sleep, the lack of food, the stress or maybe it’s just that other thing that you don’t even want to think about.

You drown yourself in work, you distract yourself as best as you can. You push the letter and the stupid baggie into the suitcase, letting it sit at the very bottom. You don’t want to open either of those.

And while you put a fake smile on your face and pretend to be okay in front of everyone else, Eddie finds himself feeling more scared than ever.

Your eyes are slowly losing the light, your smile is rarely ever genuine anymore, when you don’t look tired, you look incredibly nervous and sick.

It’s the stress, he tells himself.

He is there for you, he takes care of you and tries to urge you to eat something other than chocolate and crackers but even he can see that you can’t do it, looking nauseous after every small bite of the foods you used to love so much.

Despite the weakness you have been experiencing, you are still a powerhouse, you still perform perfectly, singing your lungs out and dancing on stage just like always. These moments and the nights with him are the only ones that seem to make you feel a little at peace.

There is this unspoken thing between the two of you, you aren't friends, not anymore, you are more than that. You are together even if you haven't said it out loud yet.

But it's all still innocent and so fragile. You trust him but you are afraid to let him in completely. He hasn't touched you yet, he hasn't even kissed you properly in a while, still giving you the time and distance that you have asked for.

Two nights before Valentine's day, Eddie locks himself in the bathroom to wrap the present that he got you earlier. An excited smile is lingering on his face as he wraps up the little box in red paper, using the clear tape to keep it together.

The scissors that are laying at the edge of the counter slip and fall down, right into the trash.

Eddie groans in annoyance, bending down to pick them out, he reaches for the black scissors when his eyes catch something else. He furrows his brows and reaches for the white object, the scissors long forgotten.

He picks it out and stands up straight again.

His blood runs cold and his eyes widen as his heart drops to his stomach. He puts his hand over his mouth.

Suddenly, it all begins to make sense.

Your sickness, your exhaustion, the mood swings.

He stares at the two lines, positive.

His hand begins to shake and his heart begins to race, suddenly he feels sick.

tagging friends! @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @mysticmunson @aftermidnightwriting @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @sherrylyn628 @yearwalker96 @eddiemyloveee

#eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie #eddie munson fluff

470 notes · View notes

diorcities · 1 year

Text

icarus

pairing: jeno x fem reader.

genre: smut, angst

content: mention of inexperience reader, mention of virginity, face riding (female), slight bondage (collarbone), female masturbation, fingering, anal fingering, multiple orgasms, riding, oral sex (male).

wc: 2.5 k

an: stop bc this look so ridiculous i don't even care. am i projecting? yes. do i want my yn moment? also yes. i love daydreams, and i love being delusional, anyway, enjoy <3

masterlist

oh, icarus! for all you have fallen, still you flew! and for a moment, the sun knew of you, too.

“yn, you're here?” your friend snaps her fingers in front of you, making you blink twice. “i'm having a collapse,” you confess, grabbing your head. “oh, no, i think i'm having a panic attack.” your eyes widening as the realization hit you in the stomach. “yeah... can you have it later? we're in the middle of something.” you laugh, tense. “i mean, what's going on? we've been here before,” she wanders around, as the lineup moves. “like, past year, you forgot?” you shake your head, a glimpse of a smile slowly dancing on your lips.

of course you remember.

last summer was the best summer of your life. after you have studied all year for your final exams at university, you and your friend went on a summer trip full of concerts and traveling around the globe. it was a rewarding experience for passing all your exams with good grades and saving money on your part-time job. it didn't matter what concerts you were attending. imagine dragons, coldplay, taylor swift... after a whole year of working hard, it was kind of a present from you to yourself. forgetting completely about college, both of you had a great time last year.

one night you two bumped into a concert having a place in your city. your friend immediately wanted to go, and consequently, dragged you with her. since your motto was <enjoy the summer as if it was your last> you didn't waste time and started to feel the vibe of the moment. letting yourself go.

a guy caught your attention that night. spending all evening looking at him in awe. amazed. later that night, you were sure his gaze was fixed on you. stealing glances from time to time, your heart beating so fast in your chest from the arousal. when the concert was over, he invited you to come with him.

his voice was low and raspy, like a shot of rum. and later that night, you knew his breathing was sharp and heavy. arms covered in veins, body sculpture, and chiseled by some divine god. eyes so dark you are scared to drown in the void of his pupils. nose long and manly that still makes you wet your underwear. you let him have you that night. a couple times.

“oh, god, i lost you again.” your friend rolls her eyes. “what's the deal with you?”.

“sorry, i got lost in my thoughts,” you reply, advancing with the line. your friend gives you a look. “you sound flustered,” she notices, smiling. “stop that,” you cut her off, hearing his laugh. “i mean, i'm a human, i'm nosy,” she defends herself. “what if i wanna know what happened?” “nothing happened,” you answer. she huffs. “lies.”

once inside, you and your friend go to the right side of the scenario. “you never told me about that guy you met last year,” she comments. “you know... your first time.” she adds. “oh, what if he's here tonight?” her eyes wides. “could be,” you say, distracted. “that's why you've been smiling so hard, i just know it.” she laughs. “i kinda wanna meet this sex god that has you smiling like an idiot.” you join her and laugh. your smile dies in your lips as the bitterness hit you. chest starting to hurt. what if he doesn't remember you? what if he doesn't want to see you? your fingers start to fidget the moment the lights go out.

and there he is again. the warmth expanding in your chest when your eyes manage to find him. he looks the same as always. ethereal. unreachable. magical. your eyes opening, trying to grasp everything. frame it in your head. tattoo it. he doesn't look at you. his eyes sweep the whole place with parsimony, but his eyes don't find yours. and the flame in your chest spreads. wanting. wishing. your muscles move on their own as you stand up, without worrying about how ridiculous you are trying right now. but your attempt worked. and now his eyes lock with yours. and you feel like you're holding your breath, yearning.

is this how icarus felt when he approached the sun? this burnt feeling through the limbs, only to find out he was burning inside out? suddenly falling (in love) with joy because, for a moment, he was close to the sun?.

his eyes weigh down when he looks at you. charged with a deep feeling, an unknown emotion. licking his lips as he sinks into his thoughts, imagining. his hectic breathing makes him look attractive. his skin glowing with sweat. flexed arms looking bigger; the memory of them holding you tightly as he penetrated you with care. you bite your lip instinctively, and you see him spasm where he stands.

both of you don't think you can hold it anymore.

the hours pass slowly. a torture for you, already waiting for him. your fiery pussy wet by your violent desires. lips part open as you breathe fast and superficial. he disappears behind backstage and doubt freeze you right where you are. wondering if you imagined it all. until a message.

j: you free?

“no. fucking. way.” you shush her watching her open her mouth, in disbelief. “you're texting jeno!?” she whispers, and you nod. “wait, what? hold on.” her eyes sparkle. “so this mysterious guy is the one and only jeno lee?” you roll your eyes. “jeez, you'll let everyone know.” she glances at your phone. “well, you better go, right?” she says. “wait, you're not coming with me?” you ask, worried. “i mean, i don't see any threesome word anywhere, so yes, i'm leaving,” she says, “you better show off. tell me all about it tomorrow,” she demands, walking away. “eh, can i have an autograph, perhaps?” she jokes, before winking. you watch her leave before responding to the message.

you: always.

even up close, your eyesight doesn't do justice to his beauty. he had a shower before you arrived. water pearls forming in his jet-black hair. his hands guide you to a wall before attacking your lips fervently. with sharp and hungry movements, he devours your mouth with desperation. leaving you breathless. the kiss breaks enough to take a breath of air, a thread of saliva connected to your lips due to arousal. feeling his tongue make its way through your mouth, flicking and moving, causing your arousal released in your core. “i want you,” you whisper in his mouth, feeling his hands running over you. “how much?” he breathes. your hands guide one of his hands under your skirt. his palm rests in your pussy. wetness going through the fabric. a filthy groan leaves his mouth. “take it off for me, angel.”

you do as you're told. lowering your underwear to your ankles and picking it up from the floor. you hand it to him, watching him bring your underwear to his face, sniffing your scent. “cute,” he says, before he kisses you. hands finding the buttons of your shirt, undressing you. leaving quick pecks on your lips, he guides you to his hotel bed. you drop yourself on the surface, staring intently at him standing in front of the bed. “show me how much you want me.” his glossy eyes darken at the sight of you spreading in the bed as you do what he wants. your black skirt lifted up, showing your wet pussy. your fingers slide between your folds, before inserting two in your cunt, remembering the times you touched yourself thinking it was him.

your head pulls back, eyes shut, feeling a sweet warmth in your intimate area. your mouth opening to let out little gasps, while your fingers move rhythmically and quickly in and out of your pussy, hitting hardly your spot. “jen-o,” you pant with a whine. the only mention of his name on your glossy lips makes his dick twitch inside his pants. he sits in the bed, eyes glued on your fingers stroking your cunt. your back arch as you feel the flames spreading inside you, his hands stopping you from reaching your climax. a wave of spasms shakes your body, as you bite your lips, opening your eyes, before he uses the same hand that pulled out your fingers from your pussy to insert his own. “let me.”

his movements are by far more precise and agile than yours. his long fingers going in and out, as you stirred and hissed and twitched your face in pleasure under the blackhair's gaze. his free hand goes to your collarbone, restraining you from moving under his touch. the wet sounds filling the room with your whimpers and moans, feeling his fingers increase intensity and speed, driving you insane, making a mess of babbling and incoherent words. your eyesight going black when he hit your sweet spot repeatedly, limbs going numb, before the fire pools and spread in your core, to the rest of your body. legs pressing together as he keeps flicking his fingers inside, your walls contracting and pulsing in his digits.

he lets you go to lick your arousal from his fingers, humming in an instance. “so sweet.” he states. “fuck, let me taste a little more.” you feel his breath in your pussy, before his tongue wipes out your sensitive core. your hands go to his hair, feeling him licking and sucking you. your legs spread open, as he dives into your pussy with heavy breath.

he detaches from your pussy and sits up on the bed. his hands seek yours and climb you on his lap without difficulty due to your muscles still stiff, body feeling lightweight. he kisses your neck and lips. hands disappearing under your skirt sensing his fingers testing your ass, sliding his index finger along the length, until finding your hole, inserting his digit with a quick move. your body stutter as the warm feeling embraces you, starting to wiggle while his finger fucks you. it's a new feeling for you, arching your back due to the strange pleasure that hits you. starting to grind against his lap. his free hand goes to your back, unfastening your bra. his thumb rubs circles in your nipple while his mouth wraps the other one, sucking gently.

he stops his fingers while lifting you with one arm enough to pull down his pants. “are you gonna be a good girl and ride this dick? mmm.” you nod effusively. he releases his length and it hit your leg, twitching. your hands go to your skirt, but he stops you, “leave it on, you look cute.” glancing at his bulge you think that it must hurt him. so you don't waste time after he puts a condom in, taking it on your hands and plunging it inside, already craving it. a sweet burn embraces your pussy due to his thickness. stretching you out. adjusting and wriggling on his length. jeno lets out a rasping grunt before he makes you bounce on his lap. pounding into his dick, your vision fades to black, sensing the waves of pleasure washing you. your breathy moans and soft whines mixing with his guttural sounds. kissing his lips, grinding against him. awakening all your nerve endings.

you contract your walls feeling his dick twitch, before pushing it deeper, the dizziness clouding your senses as you go up and down, constantly hitting your core, almost seeing stars. “fuck, i'm gonna cum.” his raspy voice warns. you go faster and harder, riding him to his climax. feeling his dick, pulsating against your walls, you grind him, rocking your hips back and forth, feeling his cock still hard. your moves becoming sloppy the more you approach your orgasm, finally exploding and throbbing around his length.

you pant, exhausted. feeling mind blurry and body buzzing on top of him.

“sit on my face,” he hisses, lifting you up with ease. his body rests on the mattress as you climb to his chest, hands holding you for support before you sit down on his face. nose rubbing your clit.

you let out a little moan before you start moving. his hands holding your thighs tightly while you rock your hips into his face. tongue licking along your folds, nose stroking your clit, grinding against him, mixing your juices with his saliva. his warm breath hitting your core sweetly while he mumbles “taste so good.” speeding your moves as the knot in your stomach tightens. quivering and crying out because his tongue feels so good, before releasing your extasis in his mouth. your orgasm washes you over, dissolving in shockwaves.

you stroke his hair while he force you to rock your hips along his mouth. feeling so satisfied it hurts. “s-too much...” you cry, trying to stop him from moving you, but he's stronger, so it doesn't happen. “go on, darling, a little more.” he mutters into your core, sending shivers through your body due to the sensation. you swallow, deeply. “let me... i want to taste you too, ” you confess, fluttering your eyes because of how sensitive you were.

you hop off his body and drop your knees in front of him.

holding his cock in your hands, starting to move them up and down. he's already hard. you strike your tongue along his length, hearing his throaty breathing. “put it in your mouth, yeah?” he urges you. your warm mouth receives his cock with pleasure. sucking gently and watching him stare at you while you do it. tongue going to the underside of his shaft before returning to the tip, swollen and red. inserting it with ease until it hits the back of your throat. “you're taking it so well,” he says, breathy. you hum with his cock still in your mouth, causing him to swear. watching him so needy and agitated for you. oh, you wish you were the only one who could see him like that. his cock feeling so good, his tip resting on your tongue as you stroke him. feeling his flavourful seed spilling in your mouth before you swallow it.

you get up from the ground wiping the corner of your lips, staring at him, seeking his approval. “have i done it right?” you wonder. his hand caressed your cheek before sliding into your mouth. “mmm,” he grants. he taste himself on your lips.

“now, all fours on the bed. i'd like to destroy you a few times more.” strocking his length.

you feel him settle behind you, and you don't have time to get ready when his cock buries inside with a hard move. body propelled forward. his hands hold you in place before he starts to smack his hips against yours, pounding at a slow and hard pace, making you feel demolished. gasping with each thrust, your body collapses between the sheets, before he uses his strength to make you arch your back. mumbling and babbling like a fool, brainwashed by the way he's fucking you. your whole body shivering due to the overwhelming feeling of his cock sliding in and out of your abused pussy. “fu-uck.” biting your lips and rolling your eyes to the back of your head, spinning. your pulsing walls wrapping him tight while he curses a lot.

a few more thrusts are done before you release yourself around him. your limbs numbing with a white feeling. mouth part open letting out incoherent words, mind going blank. you feel his grip on your legs, turning you around, now facing him. “want to stop?” he asks, hovering over you and leaving kisses on your neck and chest. his eyes meeting your eyes, watching you smile languidly shaking your head. he smiles before he pulls in. “good girl.”

#nct smut #nct dream smut #lee jeno smut #jeno smut #♡jeno #jeno drabbles

555 notes · View notes

catiuskaa · 10 months

Text

My Atlantis [don’t go]

inspired by the songs “atlantis” by Seafret and “can I call you tonight?” by Dayglow.

because the combination chan + second chance + angsty prompts AND my recent ability to fall asleep only past 3am triggered something I didn't know I had in me, lol (I swear I am ok LMAOO)

word count: 3.9k

angst, second chance, good ending.

No matter how many times he had asked himself the past month, he never could come up with a reason for it.

“Chan, you ok?” Seungmin inquired, popping his head through the door. The eldest snapped out of his zoned-out state and smiled, starting to tease the younger in a sing-song voice.

“Aw, Seungminnie, you’re so cute!”

Since the comeback, the members had all been busy, and it was known by the other seven that despite the lack of sleep and rest, the many concerts and shows. If there was one of them that would never say anything about how fucked up he felt, it was Chan.

Chan wouldn’t complain about anything. He’d rather stay hidden, quiet, hoping to merge with the furniture in his room so he wouldn’t feel so tired anymore.

It wasn’t new for the others, and Chris always felt a speck of guilt trail up his spine when any of them came by his room, only to find him sunken in his computer, his headphones blasting music so loudly that there was no hope of calling for the Australian unless you poked him —or in Minho’s case, throwing anything remotely close to the target, like his slipper, usually passed the level— Chan would go into off mode.

What they didn’t know, however, is why. Because usually, he was just tired, but nowadays, there is another reason.

He often trailed off conversations, zoning out. He had always been like that, often related to his insomnia.

Only one member knew the existence of the other new reason.

You.

“Hey, I made brownies!” Felix shined, entering his fellow bandmate’s room.

Lix watched Chan munch on his baked goods for what felt like a lifetime.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said, the corners of his mouth full of crumbs, like his bed.

“I didn’t say anything.”

Chan tsked, smiling weakly. He had fallen for it. “Never fucking mind. Can I get a hug?”

Felix held back his tears, approaching the elder in a tight embrace. Chan’s strong facade crumbled.

“You should go see her, Chan. I don’t care what you have to say about it, but whatever happened is breaking you apart. It’s been so long, anyways.”

Chan laughed, even though he sighed slightly heavier than usual, with a teary grin on his features.

“I still fucked up, mate, whether it’s one week or one year. I fucked up bad.” He stopped and swallowed dry, quickly brushing away the tears that threatened to fall. “I can’t just show up at her place.”

The younger brushed away a stray tear that ran down his cheek. “You either go there or let it eat you from the inside,” Felix spoke carefully. “And I won’t give you the second choice. If you don’t go with her, I’ll make the call. That is your choice.”

Even if he found himself walking to your apartment, unconsciously, he still couldn’t give an answer to the question that kept bugging his mind.

He listened to the sound the birds made despite it being so late. He moved slowly, almost wandering, until the door to your home surprised him. He felt a shiver run up and down his spine. You weren’t exactly on speaking terms.

God, he was so scared. What was he doing?

He cursed under his breath, cussing himself out, his stupidness, his acts. He started crying without realising.

What else, if not him being an idiot, would explain why he had lost you?

“Chris?”

No one except you said his name in a way that felt so different, so special.

“…Is everything ok?”

He turned around to face you. He felt the tears run down his cheeks, ending on his lips, tasting the salty drops.

“Darling…” He mentioned, his tone anxious, his breathing erratic.

He woke up in a cold sweat. Again, the dream kept repeating, with that detail that always hurt him like the first time. He couldn’t approach you, or he’d wake up, yet he still tried, walking towards you just to open his eyes to face his room’s ceiling.

That was why he couldn’t sleep.

He felt like he deserved it, so he didn’t say anything and decided to put up a fake smile, hoping that one day he’d wake up, either having hugged you or not having that same dream again.

He fell again for you, more profound than he thought possible, and he knew it because just the thought of you pulling him into an embrace felt even better than all the kisses you two had shared. And then it hit him, the answer to his question, one he suddenly despised more than anything.

Why did he let you go?

At first, it was an easy answer. He couldn’t save you from himself, from what surrounded him. He could never take back the things he had said that dreadful night a month ago, when he had lied to you just because he was afraid, afraid of love, terrified of the feelings he had developed for you, and so, so scared that you would get hurt because of him. It wasn’t fair for you, even if he meant entirely the opposite and had just realised how deeply he had fallen for you.

Because in a twist of events, his mind, his days, his songs, everything screamed your name, like a chant you wouldn’t- you couldn’t forget.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” he cried, clinging to his pillow.

Changbin stared wide-eyed at Felix, both able to hear what was happening behind the door between them.

“You call her, or do I?” Bin sighed.

Felix’s eyes almost snapped out of place.

“Since when do you-?”

“C’mon, everyone here knows. He’s so fucking obvious, sighing all day long. It’s going to make him age faster.” Changbin somewhat mocked in a solemn tone. “So?” He shook his phone sideways.

“S’fine. I’m on it.”

Changbin then entered the room, startling Chan, who, after seeing the troublesome look in his friend’s eyes, quickly approached him, leaning on the crook of his neck. The rapper patted his back.

“Why does it ache so much?” Chan questioned weakly, feeling stupid. “I know the fucking dream by heart. How often do I have to see it again until it doesn’t hurt?”

“Because you care, Chan. It’ll hurt.”

“For how long?” He sounded in so much pain.

At this, Changbin sighed sadly.

“As long as you love her.”

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

When Chris went to open the door days later, he expected anyone behind it. Maybe it was Felix with more brownies, perhaps Changbin wanted to force him out of bed to go to the gym, or Jeongin needed his computer password again.

What he didn’t expect, however, was your figure on the other side, looking even prettier than any of the dreams he had about you.

You took a deep breath, but before you could say anything, he slammed the door, closing it. You could hear him leaning on it, sliding to the floor.

“Fuck, angel,” you cursed.

Angel. The nickname felt like a punch in the face, but he couldn’t help but want another one.

Instead of leaving, you leaned on the door, technically back to back if it weren’t for the wooden structure.

“Felix called me,” you started carefully, head directed towards the door. “Wanna talk about why? He didn’t say.”

Chan remained silent, feeling troubled because, on one side, seeing you could be his downfall, still fuck did he want to let go so much.

But he couldn’t. He had said it himself, year after year, hearing it too many times so that he had it tattoed on his mind. Why were you still behind that door?

Your sad laugh broke him into even more pieces.

“I fell in love, Chan,” you started, staring at the ceiling. “I fell in love with a man so selfless who would die for his loved ones, a man so integrally beautiful that he had no reason to hide his scars because even his battles were gorgeous.” You quickly rubbed your eyes, feeling them itchy as you held back tears. “And I didn’t do it knowing that it would be hard. I just...”

The corridor remained silent as much as the door stayed locked, the man behind it feeling like a small child who needed a big hug.

You gasped for air, your chest tightening, for your need to crumble, cry, and fall.

“Even if I didn’t know back then the crazy fans I’d have to face, or any of Dispatch’s cameramen, I…” Your tearful smile fainted a bit, your features as serious as you were about your feelings.

“I promised myself that if I was right, and you loved me as much as I know I love you, I’d fight for you.”

You unknowingly cried with him, knowing that no one, not even him, could save you from falling as intensely as possible and even more.

He had tried to protect you, save you, keeping you at a safe distance because he didn’t want to hurt you, but God, did it hurt being away from you. He was missing you, even when you were right by his side.

“I believe I did my fucking best, angel. I know you have feelings that make you think you’re the one to blame for what happened, and that makes you just want to give up, and I get it, Chan. That’s not your fault. But when I got hurt because of the accident, it wasn’t your fault either,” you sniffed, looking at the bandage that still covered your forearm, the ankle support you were wearing also crossed your mind.

“Why… why don’t you let me love you?”

You waited patiently, turning so silently that you could swear you heard his unsteady breathing.

“…you said it.”

Your heart skipped a beat when you heard his voice toned down as if he was hiding his face in between his legs.

“I said it wasn’t easy, angel, but that doesn’t mean that I am not willing to try. Don’t think for a second that means I’m giving up on you.”

You sighed, looking at the cloudy day through the window before you.

“Even knowing what I know now, I’d do it again, my angel.”

The silence threatened to break your heart, but you chose to keep fighting against it. You weren’t going to give up. Not yet.

You could still fight for him. Yeah. You could.

“I’m going to leave my sweater here.” You mentioned in a low tone of voice, your features showed calm before the storm. “After I leave, I’ll call and ask for it, and you’ll say that you can stop by my place tomorrow.”

He looked behind him as if he could see through the door. A small and sad smile was planted on his features as he couldn’t help but think your ideas were still as cute as he remembered them. You rose from the door with a grunt, your eyes red and teary, glued to the floor.

“You were always worth every fucking ounce of my effort, Chris, don’t you ever forget that.”

In a sudden motion, you turned to face the door, startling him when you aggressively grabbed the doorknob, making it tremble, even though you never opened it.

“If… if you choose to just keep the sweater and call it a day,” you gasped, tears running down your cheeks silently. “I need you to know that I never believed what you said that night and… that I love you, angel.”

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

That night. The night.

The night where he had fucked up so badly.

His mind was a fucking mess, thoughts of you reeling in every minute. Your voice through the door, through the phone when you called asking for your oversized sweater —the same one he was wearing at the moment—.

The memory replayed itself, like how those we want to forget but keep haunting you, coming back.

A month ago, he had gotten a call from the hospital and had 100% freaked out. You mentioned you were fine, that it had just been an accident, but the man decided to rush to you regardless.

“Chris?” You noticed him tense up when you saw him enter your hospital room, his expression clouded with worry.

“Darling, what...? W-what happened?” His lips trembled, eyes wandering to the cast on your left leg and the bandage that trailed your right forearm.

“You should’ve seen the others,” you teased but sighed. “I need you to sit and calm down for a second, love,” you started.

The nickname made him hold back shivers because deep down he knew that if you didn’t call him ‘angel’ it was because something was wrong. He sat on the closest chair he could pick, moving it as if it weighed nothing, and turned to face you as fast as he could.

“I was surrounded by some sasaengs and cameramen. I’ve been for the past week. I never mentioned it to you because there’s no damn way you can do anything about it, and I don’t want to get between you and your job. It’s not my world, and besides, I can tolerate pictures or getting recognized, but, this time...” You took his hand into yours, his glare dull and worried, but you weren’t planning to lie to him after this, so you continued. “The cameramen surrounded me, and that attracted a group of girls. One of them threw coffee at me. Others felt brave enough to start screaming at me, explaining why my relationship was fake and that Chan, well, you, didn’t really love me.” You let out a snicker, but the smile didn’t reach your eyes.

Chris’ mind was working at full speed, immediately blaming himself for not knowing, for not noticing, for not doing anything else rather than what the company told him to do when netizens found out about your existence.

Deny, deny and deny. He lied his way through, but as the events were showing, it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.

He wasn’t enough.

You stroked his face lightly, waking him up.

“I’m okay, angel. I just happened to trip and fall in the wrong place and at the wrong time, and they didn’t care too much about me.” You smiled, sparing him the tale about how the girls started hitting you and throwing stuff at you, the cameramen stepping on you, either accidentally or on purpose. Chan’s eyes got teary when your smile didn’t reach your eyes.

You were in pain, in a hospital, just because of him? That felt… wrong. He loved you, so, so much. He needed to protect you, not just ignore the problem until it solved itself, even if he never knew what was happening in the first place. Guilt started spreading inside him, his chest tightening and his breathing speeding up in anxiety.

And that’s when he started thinking about the alleged master key that would end up being his fatal flaw.

That same night the doctors allowed you to go back home and told you to be careful and to take care of yourself. Chan had helped you, letting you use him for extra support on your way up to your apartment.

You melted on the sofa once you arrived, but you felt it in the tension that kept buzzing around you and your restless lover. You hesitated for a moment, but you could notice something was bugging him.

“Chan?”

He stopped in his tracks, but weirdly, he never turned to face you.

“…Is everything ok?”

You saw his posture tensing, turning to something bewilderingly defensive.

“No. Nothing is.” He breathed slowly, his insides trembling, his heart screaming in his head, telling him to stop talking.

You pouted, confused. “What are you-?”

“Can’t you see it?” His tone was aggressive.

Shut up.

“This isn’t going to work.” His posture was uneasy, he still didn’t- couldn’t look at you.

Shut up.

“Whatever we had isn’t worth this shit.”

God, Christopher, shut the fuck up.

Your lips trembled. ‘Whatever we had’? Shit. You felt sore, and you still smelled the coffee that girl had thrown at you. No. It wasn’t possible.

“I don’t believe you.”

Chan’s chest ached.

“Well, this is what’s happening. Believe it or not.” He turned restless again, still not daring to look at you, picking up the few things he had left in your apartment the past months. His hands trembled, his facade struggling to remain believable.

“Chan, wait.”

He quivered.

“Let’s talk about this. What’s wrong?”

“Everything is!”

“There’s no reason for us to end.”

He scoffed, his throat almost hurting.

“You’re clearly blind.”

“Did I do something wrong? We were fine yesterday. We’re ok, we-”

His hand gripped the doorknob as if it was going to wake him up from this nightmare. But this was real life, and he had to do it. For you.

Because that made sense.

What a fucking idiot.

“We’re far from ok.”

“Chan, please-“

“Nothing you can say will make me stay.” He said almost in a whisper, afraid that his voice would crack if he spoke too loudly.

Despite the advice you had received from the doctors, you lightly skipped your way to him, placing a hand on his forearm, your lips close to his ears. His breath hitched, and even if it was because that small contact was breaking him to pieces, you weren’t going to know anytime soon.

He had to leave now. Before the regret turned stronger.

“Chan.” You swallowed hard, your heart shattering to pieces. “If I can’t make you stay… just know I won’t leave. You know where I’ll be.” You stared at your hand as you slowly let go of him. You wanted to hug him, beg him to stay so bad. You wished to wake up from this nightmare soon.

Instead, you did what you thought was right.

“You have the choice, angel. Just… don’t be too late.”

God, he regretted every single part of it.

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

“Chan, what the fuck.”

Felix felt that sort of anger you could only achieve when being an empath. The ability to feel and comprehend his mate’s feelings allowed him to feel twice the anger when he wouldn’t just choose what was right from what was slightly easier.

“Hey, we said no judgement.” He sniffed, half of his face buried below the neck of your sweater.

It smelled like you.

Felix wanted to hit him. In the face. With a brick. Instead, he contented himself with one of Chris’ pillows.

“You.” hit “are.” hit “so.” hit “stupid!”

“Well, that shit ain’t new.” He mumbled, snatching the pillow away and laying on it.

“You are unbearable.” Lix hissed, much like a kitten would. “Go back to her once and for all, for fuck’s sake. I’m sure she’s been waiting for you all day.”

“I can’t.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“I’m not ready to fight it.”

“I don’t think you have a chance, at this point.”

“It’s whatever, Lix.”

“SHE- Ugh.” The rage the blonde was feeling felt surreal, his hands aggressively pulling his hair. “She came here to give you an ultimatum, Chan! You absolute buffoon, she’ll think you don’t love her!”

“That’s not-!”

“Then why are you not leaving?!”

“Maybe that’s what’s best for her?!”

“Oh, so now it’s about her?!”

“IT’S ALWAYS BEEN!”

“SO LET HER CHOOSE!”

Silence filled up the room.

“Let her choose if she wants you or not.”

“And let her end up injured again?”

Felix took a deep breath, trying to calm down —and failing—.

“We both know that those kinds of accidents are not that likely to happen.”

“But it did-“

“Shut up.” Felix’s stare could kill any living being within a 3-meter radius. “The 3-year dating ban is over. You can talk to the fans and to JYP about this shit.”

“Still-“

“Nuh-uh. You can make it work, this ain’t some Romeo and Juliet impossible love bullshit or whatever the fuck you’re thinking.” Felix got closer to Chan, his stance still confrontational.

“Never, ever use the ‘I’m doing it for her’ excuse again. Life isn’t some fucked up song where you let go people because you love them, Chris.”

Before he stormed out of the elder’s room, he threw clean clothes at him.

“Get your shit together, go get her, and I’ll think about making more brownies for you, you absolute fucking dummy.”

[☆ ☆ ✧ ☆ ☆]

The door in front of him looked exactly the same as how he had left it. The bell sounded the same.

But you, you looked different.

Maybe it was because he felt so touch-starved that you kept glowing around him. You looked ethereal, so much that he was scared to touch you, scared that he’d wake up in his bed again.

“Does this mean you’re keeping it?”

He stared down. He was still wearing your sweater.

You smiled slightly. “It looks better on you anyways.”

He entered your apartment, and you stood behind him.

“Is there anything you’d like to say before?”

He turned around at you, your heart racing.

“Before what?”

“Before I choose to do something else instead of talking things first,” you mentioned, your gaze moving from his eyes and his lips.

He gulped, seeing you getting closer and closer.

“I…”

You took his arms and settled them on your waist, locking yours behind his neck.

“If we’re going to argue, we’re going to do it like this,” you said in a whisper. The light smell of his cologne surrounded you faster than you expected, and you loved it.

His eyes grew big in surprise. Quickly, his hands tightened his grip on your waist, moving them to your face in a sudden action.

“You’re… here.”

The weak tone he used made your insides churn.

“Chan…”

“Mmhm?”

Your hands travelled to his chest, slightly creating distance.

“Please stop before I kiss you,” you whispered. “If I do, I don’t think I could-“

He gave you a small peck, interrupting you. He giggled softly as your expression turned into a surprised one.

He hid his face in the crook of your neck, his breath tickling you.

“You look so pretty right now.”

You gasped, hearing his laugh.

“Don’t change the subject, mister!”

You both stood there, hugging each other, feeling like the nightmare was finally over. But Chan still had something to do.

“You don’t deserve what I put you through.”

Your hands caressed his back.

“That’s the excuse?”

“In my defence…”

“I’m listening.”

Chan dived even deeper in the crook of your neck, feeling content just by being in your arms.

“I forgot the excuse. I’m just sorry. I can’t even say it without feeling like a dick. I know it doesn’t make up for what I said or did. I couldn’t even look at you that day because I just wanted to stay with you, but I felt so bad. I love you so much I can’t stand it. I thought that maybe if I left… maybe I could save you.” His embrace tightened.

God, he missed you so much.

“I wasn't sure how much longer I could have taken this..." he said in a huff.

“I know I couldn’t, and your stupid ass wouldn’t do anything about it.”

He took your face in between his hands, his eyes red.

“I told you there was no reason for us to end, dipshit.” You whispered, laughing as you kept on crying, your hands travelling up to his. “We’ll make it work.”

He stroked your hair with one hand, sighing.

“I’m so happy you’re here.”

You couldn’t help but let out a smile, giving him another peck.

“…of course I’m here, idiot. I never left.”

~Kats, who you’ll most likely never see reading angst bc she’s a weak loser, yet here she is, stopping mid-writing cause she couldn’t see past her tears 🕳️👩‍🦯

ps: i wanted to mention @writer-in-the-dark-prompts bc i used some prompts from them and i think it’s a really cool blog!

#stray kids x reader #angst #stray kids angst #skz imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids fanfic #bang chan #skz bang chan #chris bang #stray kids scenarios #skz #stray kids #stray kids felix #bangchan x reader #bangchan x you #skz scenarios #skz stray kids

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loveinhawkins · 10 months

Text

connected to this

Sometime during the bat-proofing of his Upside Down trailer, Eddie’s hit with a wave of vertigo so bad his ears ring.

He has to stop in his tracks, clinging onto the chain-link fence with one hand. He lets his head hang low until the dizziness passes. Breathes slowly.

At first he thinks the faint thudding noise is just an after-effect, but then he glances up to see Dustin scrambling onto the trailer roof.

“What’re you doing?” Eddie asks blankly. “We’re not going up there until—”

He breaks off at the look Dustin gives him over his shoulder—eyes bright with a frenzied determination.

“We’ve gotta block the vents,” Dustin says.

There’s something… off with his voice, Eddie thinks. He can’t put his finger on it.

“Okay,” he says hesitantly. “Good thinking, man.”

He joins Dustin on the roof, just watches him for a couple seconds, perplexed: he’s working so fast.

Too fast.

Eddie’s heart jumps into his throat when Dustin loses his footing; he yanks him back from the edge in a flash, forces out a chuckle, “Woah, hey, take it easy. We’ve got plenty of time.”

Dustin doesn’t look at him, doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s heard.

But he’s holding onto Eddie’s wrist so tightly Eddie swears his bones creak.

The ‘concert’ goes fine—Dustin delivers his countdown with precision, but his eyes always slide to a point that’s just slightly to the left of where Eddie actually is.

What the hell did I do? Eddie thinks.

He can’t come up with an answer.

“One!” Dustin bellows, and they’re off; Eddie makes sure Dustin’s always in front of him, feels like their feet barely touch the ground…

And then they’re inside.

We’ve made it.

Eddie sinks against a wall, breathless. “H-holy shit—”

“Shh!”

Dustin’s standing, one hand up. Listening intently.

The sheer noise of the bats on the roof is awful—scratching, clawing, chattering. Like mice in the walls, but a million times worse.

Eddie suffers through thirty seconds of not talking before it bursts out of him, and maybe it’s tempting fate, but he can’t help it, the panicked urge to voice it is too great, “I think—think everything’s holding. They’re…” He swallows. “They’re not gonna get in.”

Dustin nods faintly.

But there’s a rigidness to him that sets the hairs on the back of Eddie’s neck on end. He looks like a hound on the scent. Ready to bolt.

“Hey, um…” Eddie stands and nods up to the Gate meaningfully. “Think we’ve done all we can, Henderson. We were good decoys, and… uh, no deviations, remember?”

Dustin laughs. It’s a terrible noise; Eddie’s never heard him sound bitter before.

“Oh, now you want to go,” he says with uncharacteristic venom—but Eddie knows all too well how that can mask a deep, unimaginable terror.

Eddie opens his mouth—intending to reassure, to say something, anything—before he realises that above them, it’s all gone quiet.

Dustin comes to the same discovery a millisecond after he does. “What’s…” He trails off and finally looks Eddie right in the eyes.

He sprints to the front door, pulls it open.

Eddie curses. “Are you insane? Get back, shut the—”

But the only thing that comes through the doorway is the chill of The Upside Down.

A rumble of thunder. The bats screech, but it sounds like…

“They’re leaving,” Dustin says numbly. “Why are they leaving?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Eddie says, even though he feels sick to his stomach. “That’s not for us to—hey! Dustin, don’t!”

He lunges forward, but he’s not quick enough; Dustin slips right through his fingers, and Eddie watches in horror as he tears across the trailer park, and Eddie follows, of course he does, but he’s always a step behind, always too late to help—

The bats grow louder and louder. Lightning illuminates them, a monstrous cloud in the sky: they’re circling up ahead, and it makes Eddie think of vultures and carrion.

And he sees…

Dustin lets out this wail, a painful keen; Eddie feels it reverberate inside his chest, almost as if it comes from him too.

He catches up (too late, too late), and suddenly he is Wayne, pulling a child into his arms, urging brokenly, “Don’t look, don’t look,” even though when told that any kid’s first instinct is to—

“Let me go!” The scream sounds like it’s tearing Dustin’s throat, splitting him in two. A grief too much to hold. “Let me go, you asshole—Steve! Steve, please.”

“D-Dustin. You can’t help, he’s—” Eddie’s eyes burn. “He’s beyond…”

One solitary chime.

Eddie shudders, almost laughs—because if there was to be a vision designed to torment him, surely it would be this one; God, he’ll take it, he’ll take anything so long as it meant—

But Dustin freezes in his arms, and Eddie knows that he can see the clock, too.

With a gut-wrenching cry, Dustin fights to break away again.

“Don’t,” Eddie repeats, but it’s no use; Dustin hits him right in the jaw.

He falls to the ground, but the pain is nothing to the tug he suddenly feels in the back of his mind; he thinks of when Steve whispered, “He's here. Henderson. That little shit, he's here. He's like… He's in the walls or something. Just listen,” and Eddie could only stare in bewilderment, because some things are just impossible, aren’t they?

Aren’t they?

Eddie pushes himself up with his hands.

Dustin’s not running towards Steve.

He’s running towards the clock.

Until… he isn’t. He just stops, halfway to it. He looks over his shoulder, looks back at Eddie with heartbreaking uncertainty.

“I can—I can do it, right?”

It shouldn’t make sense—it doesn’t make sense, but Eddie inexplicably finds his mouth opening.

As if from somewhere deep within, he says, “Sure you can.” He doesn’t understand where the words are coming from, is just abruptly certain that he believes them with all his heart. “I know you can.”

Dustin takes a deep breath. He nods.

Runs.

Eddie watches him go—he doesn’t look away, not until the world is lit up, a burning white, and he simply can’t do it anymore.

#(temporary) major character death #eddie and dustin #dustin henderson fic #dustin henderson ficlet #eddie munson fic #eddie munson ficlet #steve and dustin #henderfam #dustin henderson #eddie munson #steve harrington

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messedupfan · 5 months

Text

Chapter 9

Summary: Wanda struggles with how she feels about Y/n's rejection. Y/n struggles to with knowing who they should be with. And Daisy finally gets some action.

A/N: Hello!! So, this is possibly my final chapter of the year! Sorry, I don't think I will get any writing done during my trip and I don't return home until after the New Year starts. But I will interact with those who want to and of course, I'm always active on my discord! As always, like, comment, and enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you want to go see a movie?” Daisy asks as she scrolls through her phone. The two of you are hanging out in her apartment after you dropped Rachel off with Jean. You are laying on her bed with your eyes closed and she is sitting next to you with her back resting against the wall.

“If that's what you want to do,” you say with your eyes still closed.

“Or we could just stay in while you mope,” she sarcastically suggests.

You scowl as you open your eyes, “I'm not moping. I'm just… tired.” You are much more than tired. You spent your entire week with Rachel trying to forget about what you and Wanda did. It was just a kiss and you put a stop to it but it kept playing in your mind and the guilt was eating at you. If the kiss didn't mean anything then you would feel fine with not telling Daisy about it. But it did mean something. It made you feel things you're almost certain that you've never felt before.

How can you explain to Daisy that you do want to be with her when something inside of you wants to be with someone else? You can't. So you won't.

“Are you sure you're not moping? Because you look a little down,” Daisy says as she starts to play with your hair.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” you assure her. “You know me, I hate trade off days.” Daisy believes that's all it is and leans down to give you a kiss.

“Maybe I can help take your mind off of it,” she says as she starts to crawl on top of you. As much as you don't want to, you kiss back. You hold her against your body. As she starts to deepen the kiss you start to imagine she is someone else. You don't realize that you're doing that until Daisy's roommate, Jemma, barges into the room and you are brought back to reality. The two of you spring apart as if she came at the both of you with a bucket of ice water. Daisy lays one of her pillows on your lap as she asks her friend why she interrupted them.

“Because I got the concert tickets! I had to let you know!” She says excitedly.

Daisy hops out of her bed matching the energy of her friend. “You're lying! No way!” She says as she grabs her friend in a tight hug. The two of them hop around the room with joy and you're trying to figure out what kind of concert could make the two of them so happy. “I thought it was sold out! I can't believe it!”

“Uh, what concert are you going to?” You ask as you sit up.

Daisy stops celebrating with Jemma for a moment and turns to you, “Oh it's just some indie band. You don't really know them. But I can't wait to introduce them to you!” Jemma gives Daisy an odd look and opens her mouth to say something but is stopped by her friend.

Jemma takes the hint, “Yeah they are really underground. It was only hard to get tickets because, because,” she looks at Daisy for help.

“Because they only allow like twenty people at their venue,” she says. It's obvious that they are both lying to you but as it is, she's withholding concert information and you're imagining another woman when you kiss her. She can have her secret concert.

“Alright, that's cool,” you stand up and make sure you have everything in order to leave. “When is the concert? So I can plan around it,” you ask as you look between the two.

“Next Saturday,” Jemma answers with a big smile. “I was so lucky to score these tickets!” She boasts.

“Aw, babe, I'm sorry. I don't think I can go. I get Rachel back that day,” you put your hand on Daisy's back and kiss her cheek. She looks a little disappointed but you can't read if she's being genuine or not. She must've known that you wouldn't be able to go to this concert. “I should probably go home. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow or something,” you offer and Daisy’s frown deepens letting you know that she doesn't want you gone.

“Wait no,” she isn't able to stop you until you're in the living room. “I'm sorry about the interruption but I don't want you to go. Please, come on, I feel like we were,” she dances two fingers down your chest and stops at the top of your jeans. She bites her lips and smiles up at you. “We were finally getting somewhere, you know?”

You take a deep breath and nod, “I don't think we should do that here. At my place we have privacy. Plus, I feel like I should at least take you on a fancy date before we cross that line.”

This makes Daisy giggle, “You are too old fashioned sometimes. You know that you're still in your twenties right?” Her remark reminds you of kissing Wanda and you're hit with a pang of guilt. She turns around to look for any of her other roommates and then turns back to you. “I don't need a date, Y/n. We've been on plenty of those. I'll just, I'll meet you at your place. I have a few surprises that I want to bring. Okay?” She gives you a quick kiss and sends you off.

You sigh once you're in your truck. You look at your phone to see if there are any missed calls or messages but your notifications are empty. You look through your photo album and smile at the pictures of Wanda laughing and the ones of her playing with the kids. You miss her. It's been a week and neither of you has contacted the other and you miss her. But you can't miss her. You have to go home and get ready to be with Daisy for the night.

Meanwhile, Wanda is cleaning her house to get ready for the boy's return. Her phone won't stop going off with messages from Natasha. The woman was persistent in asking her out tonight but she wasn't in the mood.

This entire week, all she could think about was how stupid she was for trying to convince you to sleep with her. She can't stop playing it in her head. She was embarrassed that she initiated the kiss, she was embarrassed that she begged for more, she was embarrassed that she gave you the cold shoulder the morning after. She was embarrassed by it all and she doesn't know how she can come back from this mistake. Wanda doesn't even remember much of what happened. She knows she kissed you and started to unbutton your shirt and that you put a stop to it. But she doesn't remember what you said, only partially what she said. Moreso what she was thinking when she watched you talk.

Wanda shakes her head now to clear those thoughts that haunt her. The two of you are friends. Nothing more than friends. The more she tells herself that, the less she believes it. But for the sake of her boy's friendship with your daughter and your friendship slash professional relationship with her brother, she will force herself to accept that as the only truth. You are her friend and that's all that you will ever be.

Her phone buzzes again and this time, instead of ignoring it, Wanda picks up the device and opens the explicit image that Natasha sent her. Wanda shrugs and sends a quick invite and the woman informs her that she will be over as soon as possible. Wanda doesn't need a relationship right now. She just needs release and time to find herself again.

That's what she is going to do.

“Wow, um,” Daisy clears her throat and shifts awkwardly next to you. “Is it me?” She asks with a frown.

You shake your head, “No, no. It has nothing to do with you. I’m just in my head. I need to um,” you look around your room to find a solution. “I just have a difficult time relaxing and sometimes I need something,” you climb out of the bed and grab some shorts from the floor and frantically pull them on. “Stay right here, I will be right back,” you kiss her on the lips then leave her in the bedroom. You slide into the kitchen and pour yourself a shot. Then another. And one more for safety. The last time you drop the glass to the counter you look over at your phone and lick your lips as you consider looking through her social media page. But it’s better not to. You felt guilty enough.

You walk back to the bedroom with a mission, to follow through and make your girlfriend feel desirable. You close your eyes and push through to make Daisy feel good. In the end, you feel better about having done it. There’s a sense of freedom from having finally had sex after so many years. It even overshadows the guilt you would have felt for having to think of someone else in order to get started. But once you did, you brought yourself back to the reality that you are with a beautiful woman and you really got to show her how much you like her.

Although, once she is asleep in your bed you don't want to stay and snuggle with her. You begin to wish that you had done this at her place so that you could get some distance. Make an excuse to go home. Can't do that when you are home. When you've checked to see that she was truly asleep, you sneak out of the bed and pull on sweatpants before grabbing your pack of cigarettes and your lighter and going out to the balcony. You stand out there and take the time to look within yourself and really consider what you're doing with the girl in your bed. Are you just going to end up hurting her? Despite what you promised Phil, you're not sure if you can prevent that from happening.

But maybe you won't have to hurt her. It's not like Wanda is a real option. You confessed your feelings to her and she kicked you out of her room, ignored you the next morning, and hasn't reached out to you since. It was clear she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. She's probably keeping you at a distance until you apologize and assure her that you only see her as a friend. Something that she's going to have to wait on because you don't want to have to lie to her. You will if you have to but you're confident that you can get over the crush if you just focus on what's in front of you.

Twisting the butt of the cigarette on the old ashtray, you walk back inside the apartment and crawl into the bed. It takes you a few minutes but eventually you're able to fall asleep.

Wanda is sitting on her deck staring out at the colors of the sunset as she smokes a cigarette from the pack she bought the day that she met you. As her lips meet the butt of the cigarette she remembers the way your lips pressed eagerly against hers. How is it that she can remember your touch so vividly, but she can't remember your words? Were you disgusted with her or yourself? Did you tell her to forget that it ever happened? She wasn't aware that she was so drunk that she could forget details of the night like that.

Wanda clearly remembers pouring her heart out to you. She remembers making the decision to kiss you. But anything after that is all a blur of emotions. Embarrassment remains the shining star so far. As she rolls the cigarette between her fingers she thinks about how she tried to remove your shirt and she scoffs and closes her eyes, ashamed of her actions. Even if you weren't putting an official title on it, you are still seeing someone and she feels horrible that she has put you in the position to lie to that person. Or maybe you didn't lie to her. Maybe you told her right away and she gave you an ultimatum. Did you choose her over Wanda? Is that why you haven't reached out?

She taps the ash off of the tip of her cigarette as she sighs deeply. If you don't want anything to do with her, that's fine. But she won't let her boys suffer from her mistakes. Not anymore. It's a good thing that she got Jean's number so she can make sure that her boys can keep in touch with their friend without having to always go through you. If you didn't want to be her friend then she was fine with that. Sure, part of her was going to miss you but she wasn't going to fight for the friendship if you are so willing to give it up so easily.

“I had no idea you smoked,” Natasha says from the back door as she adjusts her clothes.

Wanda blows a cloud of smoke out of her lips, “I don't.” Her monotone reply keeps Natasha from asking anymore questions.

“Okay, well, I guess I will see you sometime next week?” Natasha awkwardly steps closer to Wanda. It was hard for her to know where she stood with the single mother. When she pursued her, she thought it was just going to be a casual fling. The kind of relationship that she is used to having. But then she was being ignored and there is something magnetic about Wanda that made her fear losing the chance to be with her again. She hopes the feeling passes because she knows that Wanda isn't looking for anything more than what they have. But then she hopes Wanda will have a change of heart. Except when she leans in to give her a kiss, she is given Wanda’s cheek. It's enough for her to realize that this needed to end.

“Yeah, I'll um, I'll call you,” Wanda says without looking at the blonde woman.

“Okay,” she does her best to hold the tears back until she is at the front door. Although this is what she signed up for, she knows that this isn't what she deserves. Without letting the divorcee know, she promises herself that this is the last time she comes to this house.

Over the course of the week, you lose sleep because Daisy is knocking on your door after her shift is over. She brought an overnight bag on Sunday and practically moved in with you for the week. It was nice to have someone in your bed again. Although, opening up the relationship to a more sexual aspect has shifted the dynamic a bit. Neither of you talk to each other anymore because why have a meaningful conversation when you can be pleasuring and exploring each other in a more physical way? Most importantly, it keeps your mind off of Wanda and the pain you feel everyday when you realize that the friendship is probably over.

It's not until Saturday when you're saying goodbye to Daisy before your daughter gets dropped off that you remember the other reason you pulled away. You didn't want to complicate things for the kids' friendship. Now you aren't sure what to say to Rachel if she asks to hang out with the boys today. You hope she wants to have a playdate with other friends or is even okay with just hanging out with you.

You check the time when you feel like she should have been dropped off already and call Jean to find out what's taking so long. As you open your phone you notice quite a few missed notifications and check your messages. Your heart sinks when you read and find out that you are going to have to pick her up from Wanda’s house a couple of hours from now. You close your eyes and take a few breaths to prepare yourself to go over there again.

It's been two weeks now with no contact. Was it going to be weird to pick up your daughter? Will she allow you to explain yourself? Should you stay in your car and honk for her to send Rachel out? You aren't sure what to do or how to act. You shake your head at yourself as you start to feel a little ridiculous. You needed to pull it together. You need to be an adult and try to work through this awkward phase. Is it worth it to lose this friendship over a kiss and confusing feelings? No, it is not.

You check the time again and get in the shower to wash up. You get dressed in something a little nicer than you normally wear to her house. Then you decide to drive out to the liquor store to get her a peace offering. You find a bottle called “Enchanted Rock,” a vodka that you've only had once before. You can't remember if it was good or not but it sticks out to you because of the song your daughter would play in the car on the way to and from Wanda’s house.

You pick up a couple of packs of cigarettes now that you're low from how much you've been smoking lately. Looking at the wall of cigarettes, you recognize the brand Wanda bought the day you met her and ask for a pack. Just in case. You stop by a pharmacy to grab a few extra things. A plain gift bag to hide the presents and a few candies to add. Then you find a card that says, “I messed up big time,” and although you don't feel like you did anything wrong, you feel as though that's the best card for this situation. When you open the card it already has the words “I'm sorry,” printed on it. As you sit in your truck you take a moment to think about what you want to say. Do you want to write a novel expressing your feelings? Or do you want to keep it simple?

To keep things from getting complicated further, you decide to keep it simple. You write, “Let's forget it happened. Please can we go back to being friends?” You look it over a couple of times to make sure your handwriting is legible. When you're satisfied, you look at the time and realize that you're running late.

You arrive at Wanda’s house a few minutes later and before you’re out of the car, Rachel is running and ready to go. You give her a big hug and help her to the truck. You keep looking back at the closed door to Wanda’s house and wonder if you should take this as a sign to leave it alone. She is going to keep the kids connected through your ex until it's no longer a friendship. Until there is no reason for either of you to talk to each other. Is that what you wanted?

You look down at the gift bag in your hand and consider tossing it in the truck and driving away. Following her lead. But maybe the peace offering will prevent the long game of avoiding each other. Maybe it will restore everything to normal. “What’s that?” Rachel asks as she points to the red gift bag.

“Uh it was a gift for miss Wanda,” you say as you look down at the bag again. “She’s kind of mad at me right now so I don’t know if it’s a good time to give it to her.”

“Well, did you apologize to her?” She asks as she looks past you to the house her friends live in.

“This is my apology,” you admit.

“Then you have to give it to her, Baba!” Rachel nudges you backwards. “Go!” She insists. You nod and shut the door on her side of the truck, telling her that you’ll be a moment. You nervously check your watch as you walk up to her door. You lightly knock once but she doesn’t answer the door. You look back at Rachel, who is watching from the window and gives you a thumbs up. You feel like a kid again, her mom made the same gesture when you were in high school and was asking some girl to the homecoming dance. But you aren’t that awkward kid anymore that needs their best friend to encourage them every step of the way.

You knock again, this time with more confidence and more persistence. You feel more sure of yourself as you wait for an answer. But the door doesn’t move. So you ring the doorbell next. It’s one of those smart ones with the camera and you realize she could see you the entire time. You sigh.

“Wanda, please, can we talk?” You ask with a solemn tone. There is no change so you try harder. “I know that I shouldn’t have told you that I have feelings for you but I couldn’t-”

The door swings open to reveal a wide eyed Wanda. “You said what?”

You’re thrown off by her confusion. “Is that not why you’re not talking to me? Is it because I kissed you back, was it a test?”

Wanda shakes her head, “Wait, no, you’re the one not talking to me because I kissed you.”

“No, I haven’t reached out because I thought you hated me. You wouldn’t even look at me the next morning,” you admit. The two of you stand there confused and staring at each other trying to piece together each other's misunderstandings. “I brought you something as an apology for the way I acted that night and the weeks that followed,” you hold the gift out to her and Wanda is crushed with guilt as she accepts it.

“Why are you apologizing? I’m clearly the one in the wrong here,” she says as she admires the plain bag with tissue paper sticking out. You told her once that your mom taught you how to do that when you were very young and you loved arranging gifts because of it. “You really shouldn’t have. But thank you,” she opens her arms to wrap them around you and you step into the hug. “I’m sorry that I was being childish. I don’t know why I started to assume the worst in you.” Wanda says into your shoulder.

“Can I ask what you thought?” You ask as you step back. “I’d be happy to tell you my thoughts in exchange." Wanda fiddles with the strap of the gift bag as she nervously explains that she thought you were given an ultimatum and didn’t choose her. You shake your head with a frown. “No, um, that uh, she doesn’t know that it happened. But we are officially together now so I figured um now was a better time than any to tell you that although I meant what I said that night, I’m not expecting you to return those feelings. I have someone who I also really like and she has some strong feelings for me… I think.” She asks you what you mean by that and you go on to describe your side of the events and she starts to blush, moreso from embarrassment than from flattery.

Wanda nods as she bites her bottom lip, “I actually didn’t remember that part of the night. I just remember thinking that you looked very attractive and I wanted to kiss you. Well, clearly I wanted to do more than kiss you but we’ve been over that.” She awkwardly laughs and you join in because it’s what feels right to do in the moment. “So the two of you made it official?”

“I, well, kind of?” You say, unsure of yourself. “We have definitely taken things further but I think we’re close to a conversation.”

Wanda nods and does her best to hide her disappointment with a smile. “That’s really great. I’m glad things are going well.” She looks at the gift in her hand and then remembers that you have a little girl in your car that is probably anxious to get home. “Alright, well, I won’t keep eating your time with Rachel. I’m glad one of us is mature enough to want to communicate.” she jokes and you smile in acknowledgement. “I will go back to texting you and calling you. I promise and thank you again.” She goes in for one more hug and you accept it. The two of you say your goodbyes and each of you are filled with relief as you separate. Wanda slides against the front door with a grin on her face, feeling giddy from hearing that you have deeper feelings for her. She knew that with Daisy in the picture nothing was going to happen and right now, she isn’t in the best state of mind to take on a relationship. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t revel in the fact that someone likes her.

Meanwhile you are singing word for word of the song that Rachel loves to play on the ride home from Wanda’s and Rachel sings along with you as she celebrates the idea that her plan might work after all.

Chapter 10

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winterchimez · 1 year

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Jealousy | Lee Hyunjae

pairing: idol Hyunjae x f!reader

genre: fluff, suggestive, influence of alcohol, jealousy is a disease

warnings: CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FROM THE CONCERT SO PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK! (i highly suggest you watch the con first if you are unaware of what has caused us fandom to be traumatised 🫠)

word count: 1,404

a/n: so basically this whole idea came to me because of that PARTICULAR performance from Zeneration world tour that shall not be named for the sake of my insanity 🙃 i wrote this in one sitting, it's barely proofread so i humbly apologise-

21st May 2023.

Time flew by quickly and it was already the last day of your best friend’s concert tour that was held in KSPO Dome, one of the largest and infamous grand venues where world-renowned artists have performed at.

To say you were proud of your best friend, Hyunjae, would have been an understatement. You knew how much he and his group have been through for the past 6 years to get to where they are now. And now they were already onto their second world tour.

When your partner in crime practically got you free tickets for 3 days straight, how could’ve you said no?

Everything was planned out towards perfection. You were truly in awe of the entire planning process of the tour, from the stage set-up to the costumes, and of course to the flawless performances.

One thing that you couldn’t have expected was how your bestie literally shed tears as he sang Horizon on stage. He wasn’t the type to bawl his eyes out, let alone let out all of his deepest emotions, even during your friendship. Heck, you were the one who always needed a shoulder to cry on, and he would be your best listener and comfort person, to say the least. You couldn’t help but to feel heartbroken seeing his vulnerable side on stage.

But that wasn’t what surprised you the most.

Certainly, nobody told you that he would be stripping on stage in front of 15,000 audiences.

That made your jaw drop. And you just couldn’t get it out of your mind.

As you made your way backstage, you greeted everyone along the way, from staff members to dancers, to the members, and eventually, towards your best friend.

Being the goofy guy that he was, he headlocks your head in between his muscular arms and ruffles your hair, basically begging for compliments to be said about him.

Of course, you gave the usual sweet words of praise that he always loved to hear, even complimenting him for his entrance during the opening till how he basically nailed every dance move in each song.

Except that you avoided talking about that particular performance.

You felt like you weren’t your usual self, and you just couldn’t be as carefree as you usually were towards him. What was this emotion you were feeling? You have no idea.

One thing you knew was that you practically avoided him like a plague during the after-party.

Even though he was the one you’d always sit next to whenever you’d hang out, you couldn’t help but stick to the 98z gang, you always were close to them being in the same age group. Multiple times your friend has tried to get you back to where he was seating with Sangyeon and Haknyeon, but you tried by all means to seem like you couldn’t hear him or were too distracted by what was going on at your table. It was an after-party after all, there’s bound to be loud music, drinking, cheers, and games.

A few times throughout the night your friend actually stood up and made his way towards your table, seemingly trying to physically pull you towards his, but every time you just found the reason to leave the room, saying how you’ve drank too much and needed to use the bathroom a little bit too often than usual.

Eventually, the male gave up and decided to give you some space. You breathe in a sigh of relief, thanking the heavens that he was finally leaving you alone. Perhaps you really needed it, since your brain was still mentally processing what happened during that particular performance.

Your group of friends were kind enough to let you stay at the hotel that they’d booked for the night, insisting that it was too late and dangerous for you to be travelling back to the apartment on your own. If you were given a free getaway place for the weekend, you of course had no reason to decline.

It was around 12am when you decided to let the members know that you’d be retiring to your room, that was until you heard a ding sound from your phone.

It was a message from the person that you’ve been diligently avoiding.

🎁 Hyunjae: Let’s talk. Meet me in front of my room. I will be waiting.

You contemplated whether you should even accept his request, because hey then all of your efforts of avoiding the man has then gone to waste. But thinking about it, you’d actually feel worse if you left him all alone waiting for you to not show up.

In the end, you chose to be a good samaritan instead.

You made your way towards his room located on the 12th floor, and sure enough, he was leaning against his door, arms crossed with his head down, and you swear he looked… annoyed?

Whatever he was feeling, the goofy clumsy friend that you were accustomed to was gone.

Slowly making your way towards him, you couldn’t help but not look him right in the eye. Instead, you muttered a soft “Hey, what’s up?” towards Hyunjae.

Before you knew it, he was grabbing hold of your wrist and dragging you into his room, where he slammed the door shut and pushed you a little too aggressively against it.

What was this? You have never seen such a side of Hyunjae before. Was it because of the influence of alcohol? Because you were certain he had a little too much to drink than he usually does.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“W-what? What’s going on Hyunjae-”

“Answer my question, Y/N.”

You gulped. He seems… mad. Or is he not in the right mind because of alcohol? You couldn’t tell. In fact, you were a bit terrified by the current demeanour he was presenting.

Just as you were about to think of a potential convincible answer, Hyunjae pins both of your arms above your head, and his gaze immediately darts down towards your now exposed neck.

“If you’re not gonna tell me, then I’ll make you.”

Without warning, he started leaving trails of kisses down your neck, sucking each spot and you couldn’t help but moan at the pleasure. God, he knew what he was doing, he was a master at this. Your knees began to feel weak, as he pushes one of his legs in between yours, which made you let out a gasp.

Were you just gonna tell him the truth this easily? After all your efforts of avoiding him throughout the whole night? But if something wasn’t done now, god knows how long he is capable of doing-

“I can’t believe you actually stripped on stage.” You blurted out all of a sudden which made the male stop his tracks.

It took a few seconds for Hyunjae to connect the dots, but when he did, he gave you the biggest smirk you’ve ever seen in all those years of being his close friend.

“Funny. You’re jealous.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh sure you were, that’s why you couldn’t look me in the eye and basically avoided me like a plague.”

This time, he leaned his face closer to yours, till both of you were merely inches apart, as he fixed his gaze upon your lips this time. “You could’ve just told me, Y/N.”

And there it was. Next thing you knew both of you were kissing. God, you have had so many fantasies about making out with your best friend, but not like this.

The kiss was rough and breathless. Hyunjae practically gave you no time to have a breather in between, and that was when he suddenly lift you up where you practically wrapped yourself around the man as he lays you down onto his bed.

In this heated moment, both of you were evidently taken over by lust, as you both began to undress one another. Before you could do that to the male though, he stopped your hands that were holding onto the hem of his shirt. “If you really want to see what’s underneath, you gotta work hard for it, sweetheart. Pleasure me.”

That alone has left you stunned. Seeing this as an opportunity, he leans close towards your ear and gave you the most sensual whisper you’d ever expected to hear from him.

“That reveal during Thrill Ride performance? Was specifically done just for you.”

a/n: the fact that i wrote this fic based on that particular stage clearly shows that im not okay HAHAH I'D JUST BURY MYSELF IN THE CORNERS OF MY ROOM FORGETTING THAT I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS GOODBYE-

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tryingtodotheright-thing · 3 months

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Hello Sunset - 5

AN: Thank you to everyone reading as always. We're still in the past in this chapter. We'll only be getting brief glimpses of the current timeline for now until the audience has caught up on what's happened till date. Your feedback is valued and welcomed :) PAIRING: Seungcheol x fem!reader GENRE: exes to lovers, idol verse, angst WORD COUNT: 3,777 WARNINGS: reader has anxiety and depression, swearing, mentions of alcohol Text in blue is spoken in Korean. PREVIOUS / NEXT

29 November 2023 - around 9pm

Y/N had never experienced such a mix of emotions in the space of those short hours. Happiness, awe, pure laughter, pride, tears of joy, fulfilment and many more. The goosebumps didn’t leave her even ten minutes after the band had said goodnight and goodbye. She felt so privileged to have been part of this night and to witness the abundance of talent. She didn’t even know that she’d been crying as they’d gotten to the last chorus of Run To You. That was the first song of SEVENTEEN she’d fallen in love with. She’d felt someone nudge her and when she looked, S.Coups handed her a tissue without judgement. Y/N definitely fell harder for him then and there. He wasn’t going to be shaken from his position of bias though others often came close. She’d tried to laugh off her tears and thanked him in Korean before turning her attention to the stage. Like a child coming down after being wound up in anticipation for a party, she was slowly coming back down to earth when the concert ended.

The manager who’d guided them earlier had asked them to remain in their seats for a few minutes for the crowd to clear, before they could head backstage. Y/N was restless as she waited and tried her best not to fidget. She turned to her left, away from S.Coups, and subtly checked her reflection on her pocket mirror to see what state her makeup was in. Luckily, the mascara stayed true to its advertising as waterproof and remained in place. She then plugged her phone into the power bank she’d brought with her as it was running low on battery after the evening of filming. She saw a message arrive from Emma asking if the concert was over and when she’d be back. Sometimes, Y/N did feel like she swapped her strict parents for a strict minder in the form of Emma. Texting her back to say, the concert had just finished and that she was meeting with Joshua first and then would head back, Y/N then locked her phone and tucked it away in her backpack.

She knew, in the busyness, she would be able to give Joshua the slip and say goodbye at the arena. She really didn’t want to intrude on their celebrations tonight and definitely not more of S.Coups’ night. She wanted to go home and rewatch her videos and others’ fancams and relive the night before the post-concert depression settled in, as probably most CARATs who’d shared the experience with her would be doing. Y/N kept bouncing her knees as she looked around the now nearly empty arena, observing that crowd had cleared quicker than she thought.

S.Coups cleared his throat as if to say something but then hesitated. Y/N faced him and tilted her head in question. He stayed silent and looked as if he had a lot on his mind, a frown overtaking his face. Y/N was about to ask if everything was fine when he beat her to it.

“Did you enjoy the concert?”

He seemed eager to hear her response, meeting her eyes as he waited for a response. His eyes were intense and the fluttering began again. Why did she always turn into an idiot in front of him? It was his turn to slant his neck to look deeper into her eyes. His beanie slightly budged with the movement and Y/N wished she could take it off to admire the way his fluffy hair usually framed his face. Realising he was waiting for her to reply, Y/N inwardly reminded herself to get herself together.

“Yes, I enjoyed it thoroughly. They were very good! I especially enjoyed ‘Run to You’. You must be very proud of them.”

He looked pleased at her answer, his shoulders raising and his posture straightening as if her words gave him power.

“They’re good - it’s all them, not me.”

Of course, he would say that. Spoken like a true leader, Y/N thought. She admired it and was envious at times of being a solo act. She had no one to rely on. Yes, she had Sian and Emma to support her career as a musician and she had wonderful best friends in Rachel and Eun Ji. The bond she saw in SEVENTEEN and the way S.Coups led them, protected them and nurtured them was admirable and truly special and something she wished she could have. In fact, the way they all treated each other was so genuine and lovely. She’d heard it from the horse’s mouth afterall. The times when Joshua would call her for a catch up, he would share little tidbits of how each member did something for him without fanfare. She’d tell Joshua each time that they had something unique and to protect it at all cost. He would laugh but then agree.

The manager returned to collect them not long after their brief conversation but by then the unspoken tension between S.Coups and Y/N had lightened and Y/N felt less nervous as she walked behind him through the corridors to get to the green room. The walkway was narrow and the staff were walking back and forth, getting organised and securing things away for when they returned for the next concert in two days. Whenever a staff speedily walked in their direction, Y/N felt protective of S.Coups who was taking slow measured steps. She would fasten her pace to match his and place herself between him and the staff so they wouldn’t bump into him by accident. After a couple of times, he’d noticed and when she did the same again, he tapped her hand to get her attention. A flush of heat shooted through her veins at the touch. He smiled and shook his head, as if to say he’s fine. With a sheepish grin, she shrugged as if to say I didn’t do anything and remained next to him as they finally made it to the green room.

“You all better be decent!” S.Coups shouted as he walked in first.

“Hyung!”

“Coups-yah!”

“Seungcheollie!”

Voices called out in glee, greeting their eldest.

“Y/N!” Joshua shouted a beat later in delight, seeing her walk in behind the manager. She grinned and picked up her pace moving towards Joshua as he did the same. The two hugged, Y/N’s height left her head tucked under his arms. He patted her head affectionately before the two released each other.

“You were brilliant tonight. You all were! I was honestly in awe the entire time. I don’t know how you can all sing like that and, whilst dancing such complicated choreos. I was getting tired watching you but the energy never dropped from any of you. You were just awesome, Josh.”

Y/N’s compliments gushed out as if a stopper had been released.

“I didn’t want to come empty handed so I got you a little something.” She added shyly before taking off her mini backpack and digging out the card she’d written. Y/N loved to write cards for her friends. For birthdays, for celebrations of milestones, in time of condolence or just to appreciate one of them. She handed it over to Joshua, a little reluctantly as she realised others were observing their interaction, particularly S.Coups.

“I also got you a little care package but it’s back at the hotel. Your manager said I can drop it off to him tomorrow before I head back.”

“You shouldn’t have, that’s so sweet of you, Y/N.”

He ruffled her hair in affection, which earned him a playful glare from Y/N as she fixed her hair. The two caught up on what they’ve been up to. Y/N talked about all of the shows she’d filmed for whilst visiting.

“Can you believe that the song for the first round was ‘God of Music’? What are the chances?”

Joshua laughed and asked if she managed to solve it. She’d replied it’s a surprise and he’d have to watch the episode to find out, getting him to promise that he would watch it and let her know his thoughts.

After updating each other on the latest happenings, Joshua took Y/N around the room, introducing her to staff and band members. Conscious they were all likely very tired, Y/N kept the interactions short and just congratulated them on their award and on a great concert. Some spoke for longer, asking which performance she liked best (DK), if she came up with the synths in the chorus for her song ‘Electric’ (Woozi) and how she ended up appearing as a surprise guest with Fall Out Boy (Vernon). She was recounting to Vernon about how her old YouTube covers from her teen years were popping up in all her interviews and they mostly used her Fall Out Boy covers as examples so Pete and Patrick naturally came across it and messaged her, when one of the staff called out for everyone to start making their ways to the cars and head to the restaurant where the team dinner would take place.

“Oh, I should get going as well. Josh,” calling his attention from where he was standing talking to S.Coups, “I’m gonna head back as well.” He seemed to signal to S.Coups that he would be back and walked to where Vernon and Y/N had been chatting. Unexpectedly, S.Coups also followed after him following a pause, approaching the English speaking trio who were in debate.

“Erm, where do you think you’re going missy?”

Y/N rolled her eyes at this and looked at Vernon as if he would commiserate but she got no sympathy. Vernon nodded in agreement, encouraging Y/N to come along and she wouldn’t be overstaying her welcome, as if anticipating her argument. She looked to S.Coups for back up only to receive a small smirk in response. Y/N sighed, knowing it was a lost cause and really, as long as she wasn’t bothering anymore, she was more than happy to get a little more time with Joshua given how little they get to meet in person.

She’d ended up in a car with Dino, Mingyu, Vernon and Joshua. They had been quickly ushered into the vehicle and she ended up in the middle row next to Vernon, with the troublesome trio sitting behind her. Dino kept the mood up, cracking jokes left, right and centre. Dino and Mingyu, realising Y/N was fluent enough in Korean to follow along, roped her into their antics as Vernon listened in amusement next to her, though you wouldn’t be able to tell with his ever perfect stoic expression. Joshua had already planned that they wouldn’t reveal Y/N’s fluency in Hangul so they could embarrass Seungkwan at least once. Sometimes, it was hard to remember that they were a group of men in their 20s and not a bunch of rowdy teenage boys.

Their plan worked to the tee when half an hour later, when the restaurant reserved for SEVENTEEN and their staff echoed with laughed at Seungkwan’s look of betrayal as Y/N spoke to Jeonghan in Korean after letting Seungkwan try to tell her a story about Joshua in mainly gestures and some English for a good few minutes. Joshua, the mastermind, looked so proud of himself as Dino and Mingyu tipped their heads back and cackled.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw S.Coups shake his head at their silliness. He caught her looking and held her stare before he shook his head again as if in disappointment but gave away his amusement with his gummy smile. Y/N’s smile grew brighter as if someone had plugged in a LED light that illuminated it. She shrugged at him to explain that she was helpless against the evil Joshua and his apprentices. Like that, they communicated across the room in gestures, smiles and eye contact. S.Coups looked away first, though he looked reluctant to do so, when a staff member called on him to make a toast. He wasn’t drinking, Y/N noted. He held up a can of Coke Zero and remarked on the team’s hard work, thanked the staff for their support and promised that the team will work harder and show a better side of them in the new year.

Y/N once again congratulated the members who shared her table. Joshua made sure not to neglect her, staying by her side most of the time and making sure she had someone to talk to when he wasn’t. He’d apologised again, during a quiet moment between the two of them, about cancelling their plan. Y/N brushed it off, saying there was nothing to apologise for.

Y/N jokingly added, “You’ve already made up for it by giving me three hours with my bias tonight.”

Joshua chuckled at this, and then as if a light had gone off in his brain, his expression turned to mischief.

“Coups-yah! Come here for a second!”

Y/N was alarmed. She knew she would be subjected to whatever goading Joshua had cooked up and there was no point in trying to resist. Preparing herself for the humiliation, she turned to Vernon who was on her other side and said, “It was nice meeting and knowing you, Vernon. I’m about to ascend to the afterlife once Josh’s done so I’ll say my goodbyes now.”

Vernon was unfazed. After all, it wasn’t his first day with the chaotic and rambunctious group of friends. He just poured Y/N a drink and gestured to it. Y/N picked up the shot of soju and declared, “One for the road to hell then,” and drank it in one go.

S.Coups had walked over to their table as Y/N put her shot glass down. She didn’t have to turn around to sense his presence. She could pick out notes of his perfume despite the smells of BBQ around them. His presence fell over like a shadow and the butterflies returned, bigger in size. They’d been fed with each interaction and now rested on the top of her lungs, urging her to turn around and bask in the sculpture of art standing tall and strong behind her. They begged to be fed again, greedy for one more smile that would set them free and flying again.

“Coups-yah. Come here, sit next to me.”

Joshua slid to the right, creating a gap between him and Y/N. S.Coups slowly sat down, careful not to bump into a glass as the space was tight. They sat shoulder to shoulder, the sleeves of her black dress brushing against his soft hoodie. Y/N felt as if she’d been set alight, but only the right side of her. The flames flickering each time S.Coups adjusted his seating.

“Have you had anything to eat yet?”

Joshua fussed over S.Coups, piling a plate together for him despite S.Coups’ resistance to more food, saying he’d had plenty already. Joshua continued to ignore S.Coups’ response, stood from his seat and leaned over to grab the food that was closer to Vernon instead of asking him to pass it. The movement was abrupt and pushed S.Coups towards Y/N, and as Vernon was the man that can’t be moved, she was squished between the two Hip Hop Unit members.

“Aish!”

S.Coups exclaimed in annoyance and Y/N tried to make herself smaller.

“Don’t get annoyed, my friend. I’ve missed you and am making sure you’re well fed.”

Y/N just knew he was building up to say something to embarrass her. This was also why she called Joshua the older brother she wished she had. He didn’t hesitate to tease her when the opportunity arose. She watched him like a hawk, glaring at the 95 liner when he gave her an amused smile.

“Coups-yah. Do you know my friend, Y/N? I’ve mentioned her to you before, right?”

S.Coups gave a polite smile in Y/N’s general direction, not meeting her eyes and returned to looking at Joshua, looking tired. He hummed in acknowledgment, so Joshua would go on.

“She released her first full length album at the beginning of the month and it’s been topping the chart, you know.She’s been nominated for Best New Artist and Best Pop Act categories at the BRIT Awards for it.”

He’d not forgotten to boast about his friend’s achievements first.

“Have you listened to the album? You know what, let me play you my favourite song of the album. It’s called ‘Honey’ and I think you’ll really enjoy it.”

Joshua quickly found the song on Spotify and pressed play. Staying silent till the chorus was over, he lowered the volume and proceeded with his monologue, “It’s good, right?”

S.Coups didn’t even have a chance to say anything polite about how he enjoyed it.

“Y/N-yah, you had some great inspiration for this song, right? In fact, I remember you telling me that you wrote the song for your bias in SEVENTEEN. Coups-yah, did you know that Y/N’s bias is -”

Y/N had shoved a ssam in Joshua’s mouth as he was mid-sentence.

“Stop talking and eat. You’ve had too much to drink that you’re waffling.” with gritted teeth, Y/N ordered. Joshua tried to speak but the ssam was too big so no one could make out what was being said. S.Coups looked between the two friends, realising he was missing something. Y/N could almost see his thoughts as he debated whether to ask or just let it go. He seems to have decided on the latter as he patted Joshua’s back and got up, taking his leave and moving towards the main crowd. He’d said that he was heading home after taking leave from everyone.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Y/N took Joshua to task.

“Why. Would. You. Do. That! You. Twat.” Each word was enunciated slowly with a smack on his shoulder.

Vernon finally burst out laughing when the British insult came out. Joshua leaned away to avoid the smacks as he playfully stuck his tongue out and shouted, “Merong!”

He’d been louder than he had intended to be and caught the attention of the restaurant for a second. They realised he was up to his old tricks and returned to their own discussions.

“This is why I can only handle you in small doses, Josh. Vernon, I don’t envy you.”

The pair raised their glasses at each other in consolation and took a sip. Joshua just laughed, saying he brought joy and fun into their lives and they knew it. The conversation dwindled as the tiredness set in for everyone. Y/N’s phone hissed and she saw it was a message from Emma, asking her to come back soon. She took that as a sign and got up from her seat. She hugged Vernon, telling him to keep in touch and to let her know when their LA-born friend was too annoying. Joshua shoved her in a light-hearted manner, saying he was an angel.

“No, that’s Jeonghan.”

He couldn’t argue with that. The two friends left Vernon with the rest of their tablemates, and walked towards the exit. Joshua wrapped an arm around Y/N, murmuring his thanks for her attendance. She returned the thanks, grateful for the invite and showered him with praises again for the award and the concert. The two hugged in a gentle embrace, swaying side to side subtly before the movement became exaggerated, as they avoided a sombre goodbye. Y/N wrangled a promise out of Joshua to visit her in London, hopefully on their next break. Joshua ruffled Y/N’s head in affection, before poking her forehead hard and telling her to get going as it was late. The door behind them opened and revealed S.Coups with his jacket and mask on, also leaving the gathering.

“Ah, Coups-yah. You’re off as well, now? I’ve called a driver to take Y/N to her hotel. Are you going in the same car?”

S.Coups had looked surprised to see the two of them outside and alone. Their interactions looked intimate when he walked in and he wondered if he had interrupted something. He shook his head at Joshua’s question. He didn’t think he would be taking the same car as Y/N. It was risky to be seen alone with a female that wasn’t staff. It didn’t make sense to do so when he wasn’t fully acquainted with the foreign singer. The car for Y/N arrived first. She bowed to S.Coups and took her leave from him and wished him a speedy recovery. She looked solemn as she told Joshua to look after himself and quickly embraced him as he patted her back. She waved one last time once in the car, with the window rolled down before the vehicle took off leaving the two friends behind in the cold winter night.

S.Coups saw that his friend looked wistful. He was now even more curious about their relationship. Were they really just friends?

“It’s not what you think.”

S.Coups wondered if he had spoken his thoughts out loud.

“She’s like the sister I never had. She really cares, you know? I don’t feel judged when I speak to her.”

“Then, I’m happy you have someone like that. You have us too, you know?”

Joshua chuckled at that.

“I know. I know. Well, it’s time for you to head back. That looks like your car.”

Joshua pointed at the car that was slowing down and pulling to the curb. S.Coups said goodbye to his friend, telling him to rest up and wishing him luck for their next concert on the 2 December. In transport, S.Coups reflected on the evening. It was an interesting one. Outside of the usual banters that came with their gatherings and the milestone they had celebrated, Y/N was someone who had made the night interesting. She’d quickly made friends with everyone from the members to staff. She’d ingrained herself after a night of socialising, had everyone at ease and laughing at her jokes. Yet, with him, she’d kept her distant. He’d overheard stories all night that he was keen to meet the vivacious women everyone had been describing to him.Yet, when he’d joined their table, she’d gone meek and quiet. Call him Sherlock but he was curious.

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wingzie · 3 months

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Hi.

Your experience as a Jikookers is the same as the experience of Taekookers. Extreme shippers fighting and having meltdowns on the TL make a lot of people equate the unit name with these behaviors.

Sadly the first thought that came to my mind when Jimin mentioned JK is that tkk would make a scene about it. Instead of just feeling relief they are doing well, or just comfort we're getting news, I felt dread. And the worst is I was right.

I'm really struggling with the state of the fandom now, especially twitter fandom. People say you just have to curate your online experience and most sane armys are just taking a break from SNS and everything will get better once the guys start coming back from MS. I'm not this optimistic.

I've been thinking finding fellow ARMY irl could be better. But there's still a good chance to meet someone you would block straight away online.

I'm not a very social person. I used to come online to find people remisniscing, celebrating, sharing.. There's always been hating but now it feels like it's only hating (and comparing numbers). There was a clear shift from COVID on. It's not just solo endeavors and MS. You said it, how the way to handle things has changed.

I don't know how to fend off all the negativity any more than I know how to casually meet ARMY offline. I dream of an ARMY community manager, of a campaign about mental heal, abusive relationships (how many think they know better than the members what's good for them and think they are actually showing love and support when they are just being abusive), how to make the parasocial relationship a positive thing, etc.... A lot of these people who make ARMY spaces unbreathable actually need help.

Hi Anon! I'm sorry you feel this way. I feel like some Army experienced feelings of anger or betrayal since the Festa Dinner, which has made them unfairly lash out on the members. Some cannot cope that we lost an aspect of control, but this has always been the members decision and we have to accept that with respect. As I said in my other post, the heart of Army is massively the same. Just this morning I saw a Tweet about the Purple Ocean from Muster and it reminded me of the Flashlight project during PTD. There will ALWAYS be discourse online. That is the reason for it's existence. I am in other fandoms and they all suffer from the same issues since Covid and Elon. However, for every "bad" person or post, there are plenty of good ones out there. If you look for then. I mentioned to someone yesterday that it's like when people always leave awful reviews for a bad meal, but very rarely mention when they have a good meal. That's why I always try to find a balance. Both Jimin and Namjoon have told us over the years to not engage with negativity and I have always taken those words to heart. Things in online spaces have changed, but I guess I am more of a fighter and optimist. For each negative post I see, I spend more time posting/repositing posts that spread positivity or praise. I see no point in boosting some random February 2024 account sprewing hate. We have to be responsbile or our own spaces and I DO think things will improve once Jin returns. There's still that shared joy and excitement whenever a member posts or content comes out. It's just that the negative is less contained than it used to be. As for events offline. My first event was for a local screening of one of the concerts. I then attended a few events for members Birthday's. With the HYYH anniversay coming up, maybe you could look into seeing if there's any events for it? It's also Sope's Birthday soon and I plan to go to events for each of their Birthday's, so that could also be an option. However, if you dont' feel comfortable going in person, then that is perfectly acceptable. I'm sure there will be no judgement! We all have our own ways. For example, I always buy a mini cake for each members' Birthday haha. Though I had some negative experiences offline, there have been some really good ones. That's just how things are and then you can take the steps to protect yourself afterwards. I'm actually going to another event with the same group I mentioned before. If it doesn't go well, then I will just leave. If things have improved, then I will stay and enjoy myself. I understand it's not easy though, especially when we have certain expectations. Please do look after yourself though and feel free to DM me if you wish to discuss further. Much Love Wingzie/Becca

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bangtaninborderland · 1 year

Text

JHS- Dancing In The Rain

The weather had been awful all week, sowozoo was coming up and you could see how tense all the members were regarding the possibility of a rainy day befalling them.

You couldn’t keep count of the amount of times you’d had a call from hobi who was once again asking you to inform him of the weather updates from the news channels on TV.

With just two days before the concert you were thankful your husband was home, resting. He had a tendency to overwork himself, something he had mentioned he found comfort from in you. You had made sure to cook him his favourite dinner which he complained about, arguing he needed to maintain his weight. However after giving him a glare he stopped his protests immediately, after a few minuets he was groaning about how good it tasted.

You were relaxed to see him smiling, at home it wasn’t something he did much of, of course that didn’t mean he was unhappy or your relationship was dull. It just meant that with you he felt that he could be everything he couldn’t with everyone else, he didn’t feel like he had to show you the perfect sides of him because you had always told him you believed every side of him was as perfect as the rest.

Once you’d cleaned up, something he had argued to do but you’d declined, you joined him on the bed. He was reviewing videos from his earlier dance practice with the members. You knew how important this time was for him so simply laid next to him, your head on his shoulder as his hand lazily grazed through your hair.

“Dove?” He whispered, pulling you from the precipice of sleep.

You winced as you opened your eyes, the light in the room too bright. “What’s wrong baby?”

“Do you want to go for a walk with me?” He smiled, slipping his jacket on.

It was rare that you two had the ability to go out with one another unplanned, of course you jumped at the chance. “Let me just brush my teeth and change, okay?”

“Take your time.” He kissed your jaw before retreating to the kitchen.

You checked the clock before slipping into the bathroom, it was only 8pm yet the city was dark. Illuminated only by the lights escaping from buildings and business around you.

You brushed your teeth and ran a brush through your hair before applying some sunscreen and tinted chapstick. You threw on a pair of black jogging bottoms much similar to hobis and a green sweatshirt that was most definitely hobis.

“Ready?” He asked, holding a hand out to you.

You walked over to him, your feet moving faster than your body could. “All ready.”

You secured your arms around his waist as he did yours. You let yourself relax against him, the sandalwood scent of his cologne a welcome comfort. “You smell so good.” You hum against him.

“I think taehyungie got me it for my birthday.” He laughed, pulling back to hand you your shoes.

“Well can you ask him to buy some more?” You pleaded, a grin stretching across your lips.

He breathed in harshly. “Ah, it was expensive babe.”

You deadpanned. “He is a literal millionaire.”

“I am too you know, I can buy my own cologne.” He defends, feigning a frown.

“Hobi you refused to order food because there was a double charge for the weather.” You tie your laces before dipping up your own coat, Hoseok stands behind you holding your hair to ensure none of it gets caught.

“I’m rich not dumb, besides it was sunny.” His hand rests on your hip, his fingers drawing along your waistband causing a shiver to run down your spine.

He must have notices as his hand moves completely, this time wrapping around your neck. “All mine.”

“All yours.” You whisper.

“Maybe I should just take you back to bed hmm?” His lips are rough against your own, him clearly dominating the kiss.

You barely manage out a strangled moan as he slips his other hand between your legs. It’s barely there a few seconds before he pulls away.

“Wha-?” You stand there, dazed and confused. Slightly upset by the sudden loss of contact.

He simply laughs, his fingers linking yours before he opens the door. “Let’s go beautiful.

“You’re so mean.” You whine taking a step outside, he follows behind you locking the door.

“So how has work been?.” You rest your head against his shoulder as you walk around the back road, it wasn’t accessible to cars and it was irregular for anyone to be around except other residents but neither of you wanted to risk it so you had both made sure to take the usual black face masks, you had chosen a cap whereas Hoseok has chosen to sport his green beanie.

He looked around before answering, it was something he did out of reflex. Not wanting to alert anyone of his identity. “It’s been okay, we have been practicing non stop. Namjoon-ah has been staying late to help anyone who needs it, the same goes for Jimin.”

You smiled at how thoughtful the boys were. When you had first met hobi there had been some worried about your intentions but that disappeared as quickly as it formed. You and the other members becoming fast friends. “You forgot to mention yourself in that list.”

“Hmm?” He questions, sliding his free hand into his pocket.

“You’ve been coming home late practically every day for the past month, I know how the others always favour your method of teaching for dance. They feel assured when dance captain Jung isn’t scolding them.” You laugh, peeking up at him.

He follows suit, his own gaze blazing into yours. A flush of red coloured your face, you thanked the face mask otherwise you would have been embarrassed. Despite the fact you were married you could never understand just how Hoseok was able to have such a strong effect on you, a mere look from the man was enough to bring you to your knees.

“I’m not that scary baby.” He chuckles, checking a message that’s come through on his phone.

“Do you ever see those videos army makes of your “dance captain glare?”

“I do, jungkookie showed me one a few weeks ago. I scared myself but I promise it’s not anger I just look like that when I concentrate.” He frowns, staring at his phone screen. “Jimin asked if you wanted to go to dinner with us all after the concert?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” You nod, watching his face as he replies. “Scary captain jung.” You squeeze his hand, letting him know that you wasn’t serious. Worried you upset him as his frown deepens. “What’s wrong?”

“Rain.” He pouts dramatically, holding his phone towards you. A few drops of rainwater had run across the screen. It was light enough to go amiss.

You stayed hopeful as you chimed “maybe it will just be a few drops, do you want to go home or should we go to the store?”

He looked up to the sky as of hoping for an answer on wether or not the scattered raindrops were going to come full force. “I guess we could go to the store, it will pass.”

“Forever hopeful, my hobi.” You giggle, kissing him against his cheek through the mask.

“You know I think the hardest thing about working so late is that I miss you, I worry sometimes even after all these years that you’ll decide it’s all too much.” He rubs his thumb against the back of your hand, something you were sure he did to reassure himself.

You slowed your pace. “I wonder something if I’m too little, if I don’t give you as much as you give me. I think I remind myself that outside all of who we are and what we do we are just people, you are my Hoseok and just that.” You come to a pause to pull your mask down as you do his, kissing him quickly before slipping them back on.

“That’s why I married you.”

“Because I’m amazing?” You raise an eyebrow, jokingly.

He shakes his head and you do your best to muster a disappointed sigh. “Don’t do that, of course you’re amazing. I married you because you are the only person in the entire world that can make me feel like Jung Hoseok. Of course it’s like that with the members but that’s different because they are the same as me. You aren’t, not society wise. You are just as incredible and strong, not to mention out of this world intelligent but before you I never got to be just Hoseok. The second I get home it’s like I’m a normal person.”

You let his words hang in the air for a few moments, wanting to respond in a way where he felt heard. You always tried to take time before talking about something so serious. Words that were truly meaningful deserved to be thought about carefully. You drew in a breath before beginning with. L”You are and always will be a normal person hobi, you’ll always be someone worthy of privacy and respect. People often think just because you have done amazing things that the ordinary person hasn’t that you have done unfair or outward look on life. I remember the day I met you, standing there absolutely lost in the car park with your security trying to usher me away. I remember arguing with them because I had just as much right to be there as you, on our first date I felt mortified i had acting that way. I was prepared to walk into that cafe and apologise but now looking back I don’t regret it.”

“Every single day you amazing me more, how did I become so lucky, I could have had everything in the world but none of it would have meant half as much if I didn’t have you.” He brings his palm to your face, caressing your cheek. It was a small act of affection, it wasn’t something you did much of in public for obvious reasons but this was always special, intimate. A wordless way to say I love you.

You were 20 minuets away from the late night convenience store when the storm hit fully, you had huddled underneath the stores cover hoping it would pass but it didn’t and soon enough the space became too crowded that you were forced to move.

Hobi had tried to give you his jacket to cover yourself but you declined, slipping you hand into his before beginning to run, he followed along his legs matching your pace as you skated along the streets, you were both soaked but it didn’t matter. The echos of your laughter as you ran past people down to the backstreet was joyous. You were thankful you were able to keep up with Hoseok, his stamina much better than yours.

Sure enough your running turned to a jog and then to a light walk as you both panted, the rain still pounding against you both. “I can’t breathe.” Hoseok pants, reaching for the water bottle he had brought a mere five minuets ago.

He drank half before passing it to you which you accepted without question. You stood for a few minuets trying to keep your heart from beating out of your chest and your lungs from exploding before Hoseok pulled his hand into yours.

“What are we doing?” You giggle as he wraps his arms around your waist.

He checks around once again before pulling his face mask down along with yours. His smile warming you instantly. “Dancing in the rain.”

“Hobi you’ll get sick.” You decline, not wanting to risk putting him at an inconvenience right before the concert.

“We can worry about that tomorrow, right now I want to dance with my wife. I want to kiss her in the streetlights. I want to hear her tell me she loves me. Is that too much to ask?”

“Never.” You lean in to press your lips against his as you both sway, there was no music and you doubt this could even be considered dancing but you didn’t care.

The rain could fall four hours, it could thunder and flood but nothing could make you move. Nothing could steal you from this beautiful moment. Your husband laughing as he twirls you around in a manner that makes you feel like some princess, you blushing as he compliments you like he is trying to win you. It’s one you know will be told as a story for years to come.

You’d always talked about children, you both wanted them. You couldn’t wait to tell them the story of how their mother and father crazily danced in the rain at 9pm whispering confessions of love to one another.

After all, everyone loves a romance novel.

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the-phantom-author · 4 months

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when popstar!gf and hasan first met, it was basically love at first sight for her. it’s cliche but it’s true. he’s beautiful and treats her firmly as an equal, he never dismisses her because of her age, gender, career, anything. he’s so in tune with her they basically finish each others sentences. he even lets her borrow a hoodie when he notices she’s getting goosebumps because it’s pretty cold in his house.

the accidental touches, or the on purpose ones like when he hugs her goodbye and he rubs her back…. the eye contact…. the everything.

she KNOWSSSS she over romanticizes everything. heck, that’s her whole career basically. she chalks it up to it being a few months since she was with someone (in any way), she’s a libra she’s just attracted to. all things romance, just the fact that he was nice to her (the bar is in hell ladies) but she likes him sooooooo so so much. it gets worse the more they get to know each other.

she’s on multiple streams for a good few months. he goes to a concert as a friend, he invites her to his birthday, etc.

and it’s breaking her heart he doesn’t see how head over heels in love she is with him.

with hasan it took more time. sure she was GORGEOUS and so so so smart and insanely talented but hasan is always so focused on his work, he barely even thinks about relationships until it’s too late and he’s left heartbroken because he never realized someone was into him.

so when she starts pulling back after like 5ish months, when she’s busy all of a sudden, when she acts weird on socials, when she seems so much more guarded and focused on the topic at hand, when she’s up late at night posting sad songs, new sad lyrics……. he’s worried.

but more than worried, he’s sad. because not seeing her like once a week, sometimes more, it’s left this hole in his heart. he can’t explain it at first but the more he sees from her on socials, he knows his missing her.

then it’s like an ache. it’s there all the time, he can’t make it stop. he can’t stay asleep, he’s walking up thinking of her. he’s going extra hard in workouts out of pure pent up emotion. he doesn’t feel like eating. he’s extra grumpy to chatters, lashing out at very minor things. doesn’t want to hang out, not into the podcast. he’s gotta do something.

she’s pulled back so much, she misses him the same as he does her, but she knows it’s just better to stay away. but one night, after an awful night on a date with some guy, she miserable, the pap photos hasan sees on insta are her looking angry and sad, he’s gotta do something. his palms are itching seeing her upset. he knows a lot of private stuff about her dating life, he knows how hard it is for her to open up, he knows the look on her face and he knows it’s not good. he realizes he’s in love with her and it’s almost too late.

she gets back home and is just sitting and kinda crying.

he can’t sleep that night knowing she’s so upset so he’s booking it to her place

when he knocks and she opens the door, he sees the mascara streaks in her face and he’s breaking, he’s pulling her into his arms and kissing her, more intimate and more lovingly than she’s ever been kissed. they stand and kiss. and kiss. and she finally pulls him inside her place, he’s pressing her to the door, kissing her more

“i love you,” he breathes

“i love you too” she whispers back.

Popstar!gf being the embodiment of "she fell first, he fell harder" always makes me 😭😭

It's the way he's able to be goofy with her without patronizing her, and how he's able to act silly with her, joking while they are reading the horny DM's the other has got, but he's still able to be respectful of her opinions when it comes to the more serious topic they talk about. The hoodie, I-

The way that the two of them just start hanging out together and can't think not spending their free time together. She's bringing him to concerts, he's having her on stream. He mentions that he's wondered what the process of making music was, so she brings him to the studio a few nights. She mentions how bad at sports she is, so he teaches her how to play basketball.

She's so so so in love and Hasan is so so so oblivious. He likes having her around but he doesn't give himself any room to be able to put a reason why behind it. He doesn't think about why he enjoys their little dinners, where they talk about anything and everything, including how they're viewed by the public. Including how their jobs effect them. Including their dating history.

Her pulling away. Like she knows better than to stay that close to him, she's been there before, and she know what it'll do to her mental health to stay. So she has to pull away and isolate herself away from him. And so she starts dating again, partly because she needs the distraction from Hasan. And he's aware that she's dating, he's seen some of the paparazzi photos of you on dates, and while they all have made him feel a certain way. Nothing ever stacks up to the photos from the last date.

Those photo make him upset in a way that he didn't know he could be. (I can only think of the Madison Beer photos with Zack or whatever his name is). All Hasan knows is that he needs to get to you. There is no other thought in his head, just that he knows that he can make it better and he needs to fix it. It's the moment that she opens the door that he realizes that he loves her.

#hasanabi #hasanabi x reader #hasan x reader #bohogothic #popstar!gf

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abelvis · 1 year

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Summary: Austin!Elvis x Virgin!reader during the 50’s. Trying to court you, but initially you weren’t interested. He tries for some time, and you finally go to see him in concert, and it changes the way you think of him. SMUT at the Motel.

Warnings: SMUT, slight period (50s) sexism, reader is a big virgin, fluff

Notes: some inaccuracies around the timeline of the Hayride, Graceland, and Dixie (imagine she wasn’t with Elvis ever) but fitting for the purpose of the story.

Elvis had been trying to court you for some time now, always showing up at your doorstep with flowers for you – which was mighty brave considering the conservative soul your father was. He often referred to Elvis as ‘that damn rock n’ roll greaser boy’. He wasn’t Elvis’ greatest fan to put it lightly.

Despite Elvis’ efforts to pursue you, you still showed him no interest. You saw him as a friend and nothing more, seeing as you were all part of the same friends group. He cared for you, and you did like having the protection of him and the other Memphis Mafia he had around him.

“Hey baby, looking mighty fine tonight darlin’” Elvis almost shouted at you, he just couldn’t contain himself after seeing you at Graceland with everyone else.

“Thanks Elvis, you aren’t looking so bad yourself” you gave him a shy smile, acting bashful while doing so.

“What do you say you come see me tonight at the Hayride, and then we can go someplace quiet afterwards?” he whispered, winking at you.

“Elvis, I’ll come see you at the Hayride, but I need to be home by 10. I promised my Daddy” you pouted, knowingly flirting with him.

“Baby, he’ll be ok, I’ll get you home by 12?” he asked hopefully.

“Elvis, I’m standing by what I said!” you demanded.

“Ok ok, I’ll see you at the hayride sweetheart” Kissing your cheek then getting into his Cadillac.

You blushed as he did this, not really sure if you were feeling something for him. Have you tried to bottle your feelings up this whole time?

Your best friend Dixie smiled at you having watched the entire ordeal, you made an unsure face back which made her rush over.

“What the hell was that y/n?!” an excited tone about her question.

“Dix, I don’t know!” you squealed, while trying to keep your voice down as Elvis hadn’t left the driveway yet.

“Y/n, I think you need to give it a try, you won’t know unless you try!”

“Dix, I’m not sure. Should I? I don’t know” you battled with yourself and your inner monologue.

Dixie grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you “go for it sweetie, I promise you’ll be fine”

Scottie called over to Dixie “Hey Dixie, you coming baby?” They had been dating for a few months, with everything going well for them. You thought if it’s going well for them then what could possibly go wrong for you?

Bill shouted you over as you were the last one stood on the driveway; everyone had left.

“I guess you’re stuck with me y/n”

“Hey Bill, how’s everything going?” you said whilst walking over to him.

You always had a soft spot for bill, he looked out for you and was a really kind person.

In the car Bill pushed further with the Elvis thing.

“You know y/n, Elvis is mad about ya’” bill looked over to see you fiddling with your hands in your lap.

“Bill, I don’t know. What if things don’t work out and I can never show my face around here again?!” you were visibly nervous.

“Aw sweetie is that the only thing holding you back?” he said.

“Well, no, there’s also my dad. And my feelings! I’m not sure I’m that into Elvis, you know?”

“Well, that’ll break his heart into 2” he grimaced.

“I mean to say, I wasn’t sure, but I’m warming to the idea” you re-iterated.

The rest of the drive was uneventful.

You got into the concert hall and took your seat next to Dixie and a couple of the Memphis Mafia. A few acts had been on, and quite frankly you were ready for bed. That was until they announced Elvis, the girls went wild. Could you compete with all of these girls wanting a man who wanted you? He could have any of these chicks in a heartbeat – why you?

He walked onto the stage with a sultry look on his face, searching the audience. He smirked once he found you, and you shot him a coy smile back. You were so proud of what he had become, but that begged the question – could you deal with the fame and limelight of being his girl?

Elvis played Baby, Let’s Play House – part of you thought it was just for you as it was your favourite Elvis song. He did his usual Elvis jig, and the girls went crazy. All the while he was glancing over at you, like you were the only girl in the room. His performance made you gleam with pride for him, you were bursting with how proud you were. Then something clicked within you, how could you be so stupid? Of course, you wanted to give it a go with Elvis.

You couldn’t wait till you could see him after the performance. The next acts dragged, as you were so excited to see him. Finally, the Hayride was over, so you went to find him. Walking through the hall of dressing rooms you finally found Elvis’ dressing room. Scotty was inside but no sign of Elvis.

“Where’s Elvis, scotty?”

“He went round the back for some air, y/n” Scotty said, not even looking up from his guitar he was fiddling with.

You nearly ran outside to see him. There he was, your Elvis.

“Elvis!” you called, before running over to him.

“Hey Baby, did you enjoy it?” he asked with hopeful eyes.

“EP, Sweetie, that was the best I’ve ever seen you!”

Elvis beamed at the compliment. Before he could say anything else you chimed in again.

“What do you say we go some place quiet now?” mimicking him from earlier.

“Baby are you sure?” shock evident on his face.

“Let me go call my mother, I’ll tell her I’m stopping at dixies” you rushed off while Elvis nodded.

They let you into the office at the concert hall, you made the important call and met Elvis back outside where you were before.

“All good?” Elvis asked

“Yep, Sweetie, she totally bought it, I’m all yours tonight”

“Wow never thought I’d see the day. We’re all packed up now, so where would you like to go little girl? We can go to club handy, or the diner? Or go on a drive?” Elvis asked.

“Can we just go back to the Motel EP? I’m exhausted”

Elvis was a little disappointed, but he nodded and opened the car door for you.

On the way to the Motel, you were fidgeting again. 10 times more nervous than you were before you came.

“Hey pretty girl what’s on your mind?” Elvis caught on to your fidgeting, he had a concerned look on his face.

“Nothing, I mean it’s nothing to you, it’s fine don’t worry about it EP. It’s all fine.” You shot him a painted-on smile.

“I know something is wrong baby, I’ve known you for too long now if you think you can kid me. What’s going on?” Elvis said softly while placing his hand on yours.

“Elvis, I’m scared this won’t go the way we both want it to. And also, I’m a virgin, does that change the way you think of me because I’m not experienced like you?” naively you admitted.

Elvis laughed, and he couldn’t contain it. “Baby, of course I don’t think any less of you because you’re a virgin, that just means you’re all mine. And we don’t know how this will go unless we try hey?”

You nodded and left the conversation. It didn’t put you at ease one bit.

You arrived; Elvis opened the door for you. Finally, you had some alone time with Elvis.

As soon as you got into the room, you planted your face onto his. He kissed you back, deepening the kiss, involving tongues. This was the most passionate kiss you ever had, of course it sent flutters all over you. His hands were rubbing all over you, in an endearing way of course. You both sat down on the couch in the motel room, playing tonsil tennis for a good 10 minutes until you broke the silence.

“EP, can we go to the bed? Pretty please?” you asked with a bashful smile on your face.

“Baby, I thought you’d never ask” he replied, the most excited you’d ever seen him.

He lifted you up and threw you on the bed. The bed was the biggest bed you’d ever seen. He laid you down on the bed, moving to lay on top of you, kissing all over your body.

“Darlin’, I’m only gonna do what you’re comfortable with. If you want me to stop, you tell me, okay?” he said in a sultry tone. You nodded back to him, face reddening by the second, this wasn’t sufficient for him.

“I need words baby” he added.

“Yes EP, okay” you replied.

While kissing, he started to undress you. The stockings came first, then the shirt and then the skirt. When you realised you were half naked you covered yourself with your arms, shy and embarrassed as no man had ever seen this much of you before.

“Baby, please don’t cover yourself up from me. You’re so beautiful, I want to see all of you” he spoke softly into your ear.

“EP I’m nervous, I’ve never been in this situation before” you admitted.

“I won’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with; you just tell me, and I’ll stop baby. Do you want to carry on Sweetie?” he asked.

“Yes of course I do! Please Elvis, give me everything” you nodded to confirm you really wanted to.

“Okay just relax baby, I promise I’ll make you feel so good”

You looked up at him with trusting eyes. He peppered kisses all over your body, moving up and down, skating his hands around the waistband of your panties. You didn’t dress yourself in the most flattering pair, you didn’t know you’d be in this situation when you got dressed this morning.

“Can these come off baby?” he tapped the waistband of your panties again.

You nodded, holding your breath due to the excitement and also with how nervous you were.

He peeled them off your legs and threw them on the bedroom floor. You instantly shut your legs, on instinct and threw your hands up to cover your face.

“Can you open your pretty little legs for me please baby? Everything will be ok I promise” Elvis whispered.

You toyed with the idea for a couple of seconds, until you finally opened your legs for him.

“Wow princess, that is the prettiest little thing I have ever seen” he kissed your core, which made you jump. “Can I see that pretty face of yours?” Elvis pouted.

You took your hands away from your face to look at him. His eyes were full of lust, a scary hungry look on his face.

“Can I, baby?” he gestured towards your core.

You nodded. You propped yourself up on your elbows so you could see what he was doing.

He put his hands on your thighs at either side to keep you open for him, and he delved straight in. His tongue licking a stripe straight up the centre of your core. Your head flew back, enjoying the unfamiliar feeling. He kept licking up and down, side to side, and even putting his tongue into you. He was enjoying the ungodly sounds coming from you, all at his mercy.

After 5 minutes of him attacking your pussy, you felt an unfamiliar feeling building in your stomach. You weren’t unsure what this was and whether you should have been enjoying it or not. At one point it got so intense you stopped him. You put your hand on his forehead to pull him up from your centre. “EP, I can feel something in my stomach, it’s a weird feeling I don’t know if I like it” you admitted.

“From the sounds I heard, I thought you were enjoying that baby?” concern evident on his face.

“It was really nice; I’ve just never felt this before” you were embarrassed to admit this.

“Are you sure you weren’t about to orgasm?” he asked

“Is that what that was?” you responded, shocked, as you’ve never felt an orgasm before.

“Can I carry on baby? You’ll enjoy it, I promise. You just have to trust the feeling and let go”

You nodded, and he went back to your centre. After a couple more minutes of constant stimulation from his tongue, he added his finger.

You clenched your legs together at the sudden intrusion, but his hands and head were stronger.

“Princess, you’re so tight” he said while he pulled back to admire the work, he was doing with his one finger.

“Elvis, I need your mouth on me” you said between pants and muffled cries.

“You’re doing so well princess, so so good” he whispered, then his mouth connected with your core again.

After a few minutes you relaxed and felt the familiar feeling building in your stomach again. Your breathing became erratic, and you were ready to let go.

That was it, you rode his face until it was too sensitive to move. Once you had come back down, he started moving back up to you.

“EP that was amazing thank you” you stroked his head while looking into his eyes.

“Baby we’re just getting started” he smirked.

He kissed you, so you could taste yourself on him. Still kissing you while he got himself undressed.

“Are you ready baby?” he said while lining himself up with your entrance.

The nerves kicked in again and your breathing took a hike again. You nodded, not quite sure if you were ready.

He started to push in, and you hissed in pain, he only just got the tip in.

Oh my god how big is he! You thought.

“You okay Little Girl?” he said while your eyes were closed.

“EP, its big, it hurts” you whined while your knuckles were white gripping the sheets.

“I know princess I know; we’ll go slow so you can adjust” he kissed your face.

He started to push further in, the pain was evident on your face.

“EP, go slow please” you whimpered.

“Of course, baby, anything for you” he replied.

After a couple of minutes of slow thrusting in and out you started to loosen up around him. Was that pleasure you were feeling? You loosened your grip on the sheets and put your hand on his back instead.

“You doing ok there, little girl?” he said, you opened your eyes to meet his. His eyes were hanging low, looking at you with complete wanton.

“Mmmm-hhhmmmmm” you confirmed, nodding, and giving him a shy smile.

“Can we move faster now baby?” he asked.

You nodded with the same “Mmmm-hhhmmmmm” sound. Shortly after his hips started to speed up, you weren’t expecting the feeling of the sudden change in speed.

“EP this feels so nice” you whined, a hand still wandering his bare back.

“Only the best for my girl” he kissed your face while saying this.

He suddenly started to thrust deeper, and you felt him hilt at your cervix. You took a short intake of breath as it took you by surprise. He let out a small chuckle as he knew exactly what he was doing. The same unfamiliar feeling was building in your stomach again, you trusted it this time and went with the flow.

“EP I think I’m going to orgasm again, please don’t stop what you’re doing” you moaned between breaths.

“Ok baby noted” he nodded at this.

He decided to really throw you off the edge and circle his fingers around your sore clit, making you jump but bringing you to your orgasm a whole lot quicker.

“Can you let go for me again, baby?” he asked, voice still sultry.

You were never one to not follow rules, so you did as he asked you. The second orgasm was ground-breaking for you. You had never felt anything like it before, the perfect mix between pain and pleasure. He was enamoured by you and your pretty little sounds he was getting from you. You grabbed his hand to stop him when it got too much, he got the message and pulled away.

He pulled out of you and let himself go on your thigh, while you were coming down from your high. After your breath steadied to a normal pace, you smiled at him, which he shot you a toothy grin back.

“Baby, you stay there, I’ll be right back” he assured you with his hand halting you from getting up. He walked into the bathroom and came back with a towel to wipe you up with. After wiping his own finish off your thigh, he parted your legs to wipe you clean from your own juices. You jumped at the sudden touch as you were feeling really sore and beat up by now. Elvis sensed this and spoke up, voice still low and sultry.

“It’s ok darlin’ I’m just cleaning you up”

After he chucked the towel back onto the ensuite floor, he came to lay down with you and covered both of your bodies with the blanket on his huge bed.

“Elvis?” you said inquisitively

“Yes, pretty girl?” he answered back

“I think I love you” you spoke into mouth as you kissed him.

“Baby that is the best thing I have ever heard you say” his smile beamed from side to side.

“Can we go again?” you smiled shyly at him.

“That is the second-best thing I’ve ever heard you say pretty girl. Of course, we can, whatever my girl wants” he kissed you climbing on top of you again.

#austin butler x y/n #austin butler x you #austin butler smut #austin butler fic #austin butler #austin butler fanfiction #austin!elvis #austin!elvis imagine #graceland #elvis 2022 #austin butler x reader

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