#also yes this is how I beat the executive dysfunction
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Send me an Empire (in the notes of this post or my askbox) and I’ll do a write up of how Succession work in that empire in general and how each emperor got to the throne in specific.
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And here’s Pixandria for free!
Mostly because it’s succession traditions are currently kind of irrelevant because they’ve had the same emperor for…a very long time now.
However, once upon a time, before the era of Pixlriffs; the Ruler of Pixandria, High Priest of the Goddess of Death, Keeper of the Vigil, was chosen via DM-ing the gods, basically.
Back in ye olden days, that was something that was possible to do, before some Plot Relevant Historical Events happened, and basically the priests would walk into Trixtin’s temple and be like “Hey, who is going to be your next high priest and keeper of the vigil?” And she would point out someone like “I like that one, let’s see how they do!”
Obviously this involved a lot more ceremony, and prophetic dreaming, and formal language (though not really on the goddess’s part)
And then there would be a big party and a training period followed by and even bigger party where the current vigil keeper passed on the crown to their successor, who would then leave the (ongoing) celebration and walk out into the desert with no supplies and spend three nights out there “communing with death”. Only about 2-3 in 10 of them never came back. (Some of them died in the desert, some of them vanished, presumably being taken by Trixtin to serve her in other ways better suited to them.) When that happened they would wait for 42 nights and then try again.
Now Pix.
Pix’s journey to becoming Keeper of the Vigil was mildly unorthodox.
I will be writing this all out in his backstory fic, but the tldr is that first of all, the priests didn’t come looking for a successor, the current Keeper got knocked on their ass by Trixtin showing up in a vision like “yo dude, this kid is going to be the next Keeper.” (This is less paraphrasing than the official Pixandrian records admit to)
And then, after the big transfer party, when Trixtin’s blessing was officially bestowed onto Pix and he went into the desert…he didn’t come back. For a whole month. And, most terrifying for everyone else, the previous Keeper, who still held the official office until the successor returned, was assassinated about three weeks into that.
In a couple thousand years, the line of Keepers had never been broken. Ever.
The surviving government of Pixandria, some military and civil advisors, some mid-ranking priests, and the trade guild leaders, were scrambling. It was a very stressful time for everyone involved.
Until Pix strolled back into the Anthill, no idea he’d been gone that long, slightly dazed, and with a notable amount of grey hairs he hadn’t had when he left (he was not yet quite out of his teens).
Anywho, things happened, Plot proceeded to happen, and the fabric of the world changed in ways that lead directly into the events of the main story (both the Lizzie and Joel arc and the Main Cast Era Arc) and Pixlriffs is there for all of it.
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AU Masterpost
#I say for free as if the rest is not#pixlriffs#Pixandria#empires smp#empires s1#lady trixtin goddess of death#because yes she’s in the mythology and we’re sticking with it#rain rambles#also yes this is how I beat the executive dysfunction#and decision paralysis#I outsource the executive function#marriage of state au#mos: worldbuilding#mos: pixandria#mos: pixlriffs#mos: pantheon
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You don’t have to pay for that fancy worldbuilding program
As mentioned in this post about writing with executive dysfunction, if one of your reasons to keep procrastinating on starting your book is not being able to afford something like World Anvil or Campfire, I’m here to tell you those programs are a luxury, not a necessity: Enter Google Suite (not sponsored but gosh I wish).
MS Office offers more processing power and more fine-tuning, but Office is expensive and only autosaves to OneDrive, and I have a perfectly healthy grudge against OneDrive for failing to sync and losing 19k words of a WIP that I never got back.
Google’s sync has never failed me, and the Google apps (at least for iPhone) aren’t nearly as buggy and clunky as Microsoft’s. So today I’m outlining the system I used for my upcoming fantasy novel with all the helpful pictures and diagrams. Maybe this won’t work for you, maybe you have something else, and that’s okay! I refuse to pay for what I can get legally for free and sometimes Google’s simplicity is to its benefit.
The biggest downside is that you have to manually input and update your data, but as someone who loves organizing and made all these willingly and for fun, I don’t mind.
So. Let’s start with Google Sheets.
The Character Cheat Sheet:
I organized it this way for several reasons:
I can easily see which characters belong to which factions and how many I have named and have to keep up with for each faction
All names are in alphabetical order so when I have to come up with a new name, I can look at my list and pick a letter or a string of sounds I haven’t used as often (and then ignore it and start 8 names with A).
The strikethrough feature lets me keep track of which characters I kill off (yes, I changed it, so this remains spoiler-free)
It’s an easy place to go instead of scrolling up and down an entire manuscript for names I’ve forgotten, with every named character, however minor their role, all in one spot
Also on this page are spare names I’ll see randomly in other media (commercials, movie end credits, etc) and can add easily from my phone before I forget
Also on this page are my summary, my elevator pitch, and important character beats I could otherwise easily mess up, it helps stay consistent
*I also have on here not pictured an age timeline for all my vampires so I keep track of who’s older than who and how well I’ve staggered their ages relative to important events, but it’s made in Photoshop and too much of a pain to censor and add here
On other tabs, I keep track of location names, deities, made-up vocabulary and definitions, and my chapter word count.
The Word Count Guide:
*3/30 Edit to update this chart to its full glory. Column 3 is a cumulative count. Most of what I write breaks 100k and it's fun watching the word count rise until it boils over.
This is the most frustrating to update manually, especially if you don’t have separate docs for each chapter, but it really helps me stay consistent with chapter lengths and the formula for calculating the average and rising totals is super basic.
Not that all your chapters have to be uniform, but if you care about that, this little chart is a fantastic visualizer.
If you have multiple narrators, and this book does, you can also keep track of how many POVs each narrator has, and how spread out they are. I didn’t do that for this book since it’s not an ensemble team and matters less, but I did for my sci-fi WIP, pictured below.
As I was writing that one, I had “scripted” the chapters before going back and writing out all the glorious narrative, and updated the symbols from “scripted” to “finished” accordingly.
I also have a pie chart that I had to make manually on a convoluted iPhone app to color coordinate specifically the way I wanted to easily tell who narrates the most out of the cast, and who needs more representation.
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Google Docs
Can’t show you much here unfortunately but I’d like to take an aside to talk about my “scene bits” docs.
It’s what it says on the tin, an entire doc all labeled with different heading styles with blurbs for each scene I want to include at some point in the book so I can hop around easily. Whether they make it into the manuscript or not, all practice is good practice and I like to keep old ideas because they might be useful in unsuspecting ways later.
Separate from that, I keep most of my deleted scenes and scene chunks for, again, possible use later in a “deleted scenes” doc, all labeled accordingly.
When I designed my alien language for the sci-fi series, I created a Word doc dictionary and my own "translation" matrix, for easy look-up or word generation whenever I needed it (do y'all want a breakdown for creating foreign languages? It's so fun).
Normally, as with my sci-fi series, I have an entire doc filled with character sheets and important details, I just… didn’t do that for this book. But the point is—you can still make those for free on any word processing software, you don’t need fancy gadgets.
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I hope this helps anyone struggling! It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Everything I made here, minus the aforementioned timeline and pie chart, was done with basic excel skills and the paint bucket tool. I imagine this can be applicable to games, comics, what have you, it knows no bounds!
Now you have one less excuse to sit down and start writing.
#writing advice#writing resources#writing tips#writing tools#writing a book#writing#writeblr#organizing your book#outlining#shut up and write the book#google sheets#google docs
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🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
::rolls up sleeves and brainstorms all over the keyboard::
If you want to do it, do it. Don't hide. Everyone had to start somewhere (wanna see my first ever fic? I was 18 and the internet did not exist, also, it was really badly written; you can find my second ever written fic here - its TOS Trek). We've all been there and we are all learning. Don't be scared, Thunderfam at least is here to support. For you fanartists out there, check out How I learnt Portraiture and then check out this post to prove that I can paint, honestly, really I can :D
If you do encounter negativity - block/ban. In fandom, if you can't say something nice, shut up and go away. Don't like, don't read, and mind your own business. I'm all for self curating your online experience. The only time constructive criticism is polite is when you know the person and they've asked. Like I have several members of Thunderfam I come screaming to while writing with the question, does this suck? These are my sanity checkers - Gavii, unfortunately you have taken on this mantle and suffer on a fairly regular basis. Nutty by name and nature.
Works in Progress - anyone who has known me here at all knows I leave a wake of WiPs behind me. Some I get back to, some, not so much (I promise to pull Alex out from under that building, I do!). WiPs are part of the way an artist works (I have so many in so many media, omigod). Because fanfic is published close to the leading edge of creation, its gonna happen. Fanfic is written for fun, after all. The key is to not let them beat you up in the head. Yes, there is unfinished stuff, but it doesn't mean you can't write something else in the meantime. Don't let it stop your muse. I am notorious for unfinished stuff and the real world hates it. But this isn't the real world, THIS IS FOR FUN. I know the marketing theories and the regularity of posting and popularity and what is at stake if either not enough is published regularly or if too much unfinished stuff disappoints the reader. But again, if you let the WiPs hang around your neck too much and badger you, they will drown you. It will become a job, a burden, something you hate. So don't pressure yourself. Work with your muse and see what you can wrangle out of it...at your own pace. You might be surprised what works.
The Terry Pratchett method - I don't know if it is true or not, but there is a post flying around Tumblr somewhere that claims Terry Pratchett, famous author, only aimed to write 400 words a day. This is something I have found extremely useful. If you want to write something, don't set the bar too high so you fail. Set it at a reachable level, even 200 words or 100 words. Honestly the hardest part is actually sitting down and starting. Before you know it you will have passed your low goal and blown it out of the water 3000 words later (my highest number of words in one day was 7000 - I tend to edit as I go, so it slows me down). Rarely do we have an entire day we can write, cos life keeps getting in the way. So do it in little bits. I'm doing this method with my crochet at the moment. Lots of little bits make big bits. This is how I've written many of my longer fics. Heh, I used to have fifteen minutes in the car before work, so I'd pull up on the side of the road and write as much as I could in that time. Sometimes having a limited time helps with that as well.
But the biggest thing you can do to improve your writing is to get to know yourself very well. I'm on the autism spectrum and likely have some forms of ADHD or Executive Dysfunction (I literally cried the day I found out it had a name as to why I couldn't finish things). It's taken me years to work out how to get work out of myself. How to avoid fighting myself (a fight I never win). To learn what works best for me and how I can herd the cats in my brain into them doing what I need them to do.
Find out what makes you tick. Find out what sparks your muse, what way best enables you to write. Try different times of the day, different places, bribe yourself, time limit yourself, lock the family out of the room, go to the beach, write on paper, go mobile, write on your phone, scribble notes, anything that can get your brain doing what you want it to do.
Sometimes reading fic can do it, showers and manual work are great for idea sparking - let the brain idle and it comes up with all sorts of interesting things. Very late night writing can be a doozy of a trip :D Find what works then do it - until it changes and you have to find it again because yes, my brain does that too, drat it.
And that is probably enough babbling from me :D I need to go find Virgil and a pick up with his name on it...or Gordon's...it's still gelling in my brain :D
I hope this helps someone, even just a tiny bit. Writing is hard work, don't let it drown you. Also, we all have up and down days, just because something sucks today, doesn't mean it will feel the same tomorrow. Never give up, never surrender, and if you do give up on one thing....ooh, look there's another one to play with.
Thank you for asking ::squishy hugs you lots::
Nutty
(who despite this will still have days where the writing will not work...in which case, I'm gonna do something else for a bit until brain decides it wants to play....stupid brain, do it on demand, you pile of goop)
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I am finally encountering social situations where I have to work out how to address misgendering and now finally relate to the Grumpy People of Tumblr Discourse Past
In that... what 'adult sounding' terms can I even point to to use in casual conversation as a nonbinary person?
Enby is the default suggestion which I guess I could try
But my problem is compounded by the fact that I don't actually have any terms that I already use
Whenever I say anything self referential, it is exclusively always in the context of telling someone (or myself) that I beat the executive dysfunction ('i did a thing' millennial style)
So my existing terms of self reference are just
Good noodle (who did the thing)
Very Helpful Engine (what my mother says when I do the thing, and is a reference to Thomas the Tank Engine)
Or, very rarely, just
A Bean
And while cutesyness works for internal processing, it doesn't really cohere to the desired public facing quasi-butchness I'm going for
I have not actually said anything since the first instance bc
Them: "very impressive furniture shifting and renting and driving a truck all by yourself! What a woman!"
And my instinctual response was just to blurt out the correction "bean!" and skitter off...
[side note: it was interesting that the dad also used the same instance of furniture moving demonstration of physical prowess go emphasize and affirm the son's masculinity - directly in reference to the dad's masculinity "that's my son", in the same moment as the mother saw it as female empowerment for me... Almost as if the boost in the sense of self efficacy and self concept and achievement that comes from a satisfying hard task is a gender neutral experience... But we just experience it as gendered bc our self concept includes gender...and it is also projected upon us by others who see us as extensions of themselves]
Anyway I need to find a work around for this bc I am historically a praise starved bitch (the other self referential term which also doesn't work) and finally have a mother figure trying to say nice things but the shots go wide lol
Might just have to lean in and reclaim dyke
Hello yes please exclusively refer to me as the excellent lesbian sleeping with your son
#My posts#My life#Dunno how it is this long of a post#Gender neutral terms#nonbinary#trans stuff#gender stuff#gender#The workaround used with the boy sadly will not work#The parents calling me k*tten would miss the mark twice as wide in the other direction#Might have to go with something else.#Tribble#The trouble with tribbles is that they require gluten free cooking and are insufficiently familiar with the bus timetable#I can't remember if they are sufficiently star trek people for the reference to work#.............. To be fair. An affectionate nickname that is a plurality might help with getting people to they/them#Like. Gender neutral and plural. Got you coming and going.#Please understand me as A Multitude#The Swarm#The nonhuman entity#The fae which haunts and burrows under the house#That takes the illusion of human form to reach the cocoa powder on the top shelf and cuddle the boy#The Forest Moss#Plz#I am manifestation of Concepts#With a pink hair and a craving for chocolate#And cosy cosy beds#I have a low grade fever and am mildly vague but I'm right
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Hey, Hi, Hello.
Well, here I am again. Who am I? I’m Erica, 46, and it seems in a perpetual struggle with gaining weight.
My current weight is my highest ever, and is the result of grief and depression after I lost both my parents and my stepmother in the space of five months last year. We’ve just passed the first anniversary of my mother’s death. None of the deaths were expected, Mum was given up to six months and passed at three weeks.
Anyway...
Weight Loss Goal: Get from my current weight (around 132kg) to under 100kg. 95kg would be ideal.
Measurements Goal: I’m not sure what to aim for with my measurements, but I would like to get my stomach (measured at the navel) much closer to my waist measurement (measured just below the ribs, I have a ridiculously high waist). My stomach was never a place I held weight before I was put on Lyrica for my fibromyalgia - that was the thing which initially started me re-gaining weight I previously lost.
Fitness Goals: I hate being sedentary and unfit, so this is where a lot of my focus is going to go, trying to find a new balance that allows for chronic pain as well as fatigue.I need to work my way up to these goals, and keep in mind for myself that rushing in will not do me any favours.
exercise 7 days per fortnight
increase work out intensity/duration monthly
work on incorporating resistance training
increase walking distances
basically just get to the point where I can move much more
I would love to be able to do weight training again, but my wrists and shoulders are fucked. Also, about seven years ago my podiatrist told me I’m never allowed to run again because of my hip dysplasia. Which sucks, because I love running. There is an old bike here, maybe I can see if I remember how to ride one!
Food Goals:
stick to mostly water for drinks
cut down on ice cream
take away no more than twice in a fortnight - this allows a meal out when we go to the city for shopping day, plus one “lazy” meal option at home
cook good things in bulk and freeze
be aware of portion sizes, don’t “upsize” to counter flagging energy
Timeline:
I think with my current energy levels and executive dysfunction, aiming for two years is a good goal.
Exercise I need to get onto immediately. Which I’ve been saying since July.
I need to keep myself on track with food starting immediately. I have been making improvements with food, but slipping sometimes.
I’ve had fitblr/weight loss tumblrs before. I deleted one several years ago when I was in a bad headspace and just needed to wipe all my slates clean, then I had a bunch of false starts with Yes I should, ugh I can’t fitness and weight stuff. I’ve made an entirely new blog this time so I can have a focused dashboard with just weight loss and fitness stuff. I’m somebody who likes to compartmentalise things and file my information in the correct place.
I won’t be counting calories, part of the reason I’ve had so much trouble with weight fluctuations throughout my adult life is because I suffered disordered eating as a teenager, and tracking calories puts me back into the headspace of wanting to “beat the number”, which I know is not healthy. Instead I’m focusing on focusing my mind via this blog, and using Map My Walk to keep track of the walks I’m doing. Also doing my best to eat mindfully, not restrictively.
I no longer hate my body, but at this point I am physically uncomfortable and extremely frustrated by my lack of ability to engage the part of my brain that has always been up and out for a walk or off to climb a great big hill, or buzzing to get a work out done.
If you’ve made it all the way to the end of this post, you are a champion, and deserve a medal! 🏅
#weight loss#fitness#diet#food#healthy eating#health#weight#losing weight#TW disordered eating#TW eating disorder#exercise#weight loss planning#weight loss chatter#my weight loss journey#about me: weight loss edition#long post
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Decidedly not autistic, it runs in my family so I've been routinely tested for it 4x, and it's safe to say I might be one of the least autistic people alive (I scored an 11 on the RAADS R test).
I am dyslexic, which has similar hyper-fixations, and RSD, and Executive Dysfunction to ADHD, but it's a little different. I also have c-PTSD.Anyway, yes, small talk is very intuitive. Most NT people genuinely don't find it boring. It's because the social back and forth of it, even if the topic is inherently meaningless, catching up on the minutia of people's lives and sharing bits of yours is interesting.
There isn't a secret code. You give exactly as much detail and information about your life as the other person is providing. In order for this to work, tis means that in most conversations, there will be someone who is 'conversationally dominant,' (person a.) and that person will decide how much they want to share and the other person (person b.) will follow their lead or decide to share more. If someone feels that they don't wanna share as much as the other person is sharing (not super common) they will usually politely brush off in response with a friendly smile.
(Comfortable sharing:
Person A: Katie's having some trouble in school, we think she might be dyslexic.
Person B: Oh yeah, Lily's got some ADHD, we got her a tutor who specialises learning disability, want me to give you her number?)
(Person B pulls back:
Person A: Katie's having some trouble in school, we think she might be dyslexic.
Person B: Oh, that's too bad, Lily's been having a bad time in ballet recently, we offered to let her quit, but she wants to keep going and see if it gets better.)
The thing is, every conversation, even small talk, is an invitation from person a. to get closer and it's up to person b. to either take up the invitation and share something similarly vulnerable, or politely decline the invitation and deflect.
Most nuerotypicals will decide how much to share based on how long they've known the person and other context clues, but it really boils down to, every converstoin is this give and take and it never really turns off or stops because neurotypicals are always trying to make new friends or become closer with the people they're interacting with. Most neurotypicals see anyone they've met, even once, as just a potential friend they haven't been close with yet. Unless an NT actively dislikes you, you are now locked in this back and forth with them.
I know a LOT about my favourite things, but it's more that it would feel unnatural/intrinsically wrong to info-dump about it unless it was in an appropriate space. I would feel uncomfortable doing it.
If I'm alone with my thoughts, I will 'spin out' and have a panic attack eventually from intrusive thoughts. This is more related to my c-PTSD, so I can't speak to how true NTs would answer this.
Most fabrics on my skin feel neutral, I will notice if one is silky or soft or unusually pleasant, but unless I'm allergic (I have a lot of skin allergies) to something it doesn't usually bother me and I don't usually even notice it in most of my clothes.
Socks on the other hand, the toe seam can be super noticeable on my toes and bother me all day, basically I will notice it continually as long as the seam is in the wrong place, I won't forget it or stop noticing it until it's fixed.
Loud music can have emotional impacts and the louder, the stronger the effect can be. Loud sounds like rhythmic beats can cause euphoria. It also can help drive out intrusive thoughts. It's also more like loud environments can be tuned out to the point that you don't notice them.
Also, Loud spaces with just a lot of public noise can actually be necessary to maintain mental health for NTs. Like, I get a little loopy if I'm not out in a public space for more than 24 hours (so staying in my house without going out in a loud, brought public space for than 24 hours is not fun for me, my anxiety spikes, I get kinda OCD. This is common for neurotypicals).
I could work on something I enjoy for a full day without needing a break. I used to research horse stuff for most of my afterschool days as a kid. I will sort through knitting resources for 4+ hours an evening.
This is an awesome answer! Thank you so much for sharing
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Hey there..
So I'm an ICSE student currently in Xth std (batch 2k23, i.e. just started 10th class)
I have never taken any tuitions/coaching classes (I have my reasons and I don't plan on taking them and hence decided to study for boards myself). But I'm a huge procrastinator and I just can't bring myself to study due to lack of motivation and some mental health issues. Have some advice/tips as to how I could study?
(You totally don't have to if you don't want to!)
PS your blog is lob <3
First of all, thanks for asking🥺
I can relate, because ✨guess who's scrolling through social media when they have an unfinished Sample paper open in front of them✨
I don't take coaching for my boards too, and yes.. my Executive Dysfunction is really killing me rn.
After years of trying and failing to force myself to study, I kinda came to the conclusion that... if you want to get a huge bull to move off a road, pushing it doesn't really help. You gotta lure it away with fodder.
The most important thing is to get into a routine, and find a way to switch back into the routine every time you go on a tangent. Going in different directions is bound to happen, and it's not your fault, but there are ways to manage it.
What usually helps me switch into work is playing a certain song (any enjoyable song that you don't associate with something else, it's fine if it has lyrics), and the first few times I listen to it, I clear my desk and start reading/doing sums. After the song gets over, stop it there or play some kind of ambience (Lofi/waterfall sounds/binaural beats) to keep you in that state of focus. This way, the dopamine released while listening to the song will be mentally tied to the feeling of doing work. If this method is suitable for you, you'll be able to trick your brain into thinking that doing this particular work releases more dopamine than it usually does. This would probably also work with stuff like food, but songs are healthier than eating chocolate every time you need to focus. 〰
Since practice is very important for subjects like maths, it's good to make a habit of doing a few sums every day to keep it running. But getting into the habit is pretty hard. One way to effectively do it is to take the solved examples of a concept and just copy them into the book you practice in, while doing another passive, dopamine-inducing activity. It's not actually solving the sum, but every time you fall off track... this simulation rearranges things and slowly boosts the motivation for you to start solving the problems yourself. This is something that I have seen through experience. After some time of copywriting, you start wanting to do it yourself, and you actually end up doing at least a few sums yourself that day. 〰
Aesthetics and beautification can help release dopamine when you sit down to study. But remember to also place the beauty as a result of doing work, so that shit gets done in the process. 〰
No matter WHAT. Don't punish yourself because you didn't finish the quota for the day, if you did something. Your brain is a rubber band: stretching it over a short period to make it a certain shape will only cause it to snap back suddenly to its original state, but stretching it a little every day will eventually make it truly achieve that shape. 〰
And remember that it's natural for the habit to break and get interrupted at almost every turn. And it's okay to get frustrated about it. But it's easier to manage such things when you have a system through which you can summon the will to sit down again.
Don't hesitate to ask questions! I'll always try my best to answer <3
#ask studyjournalblr#SJB advice#desi studyblr#studyblr#student#icse#anon#anon ask#class 10#desi#spotify#tips#advertising
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Has your ADHD ever manifested as impulse spending? That's one of the biggest symptoms I struggle with.
Oh honeybee, I backed myself into a credit card corner at the age of 22-25ish that I will only fully have paid off THIS YEAR.
I will be 35 years old in like a week and a half.
I mean, sheesh. Way to go, me.
We are impulsive. Impulsivity is a hallmark of ADHD, and I would be one of those shitty gatekeepers who said if you do not struggle with impulsivity, you might want to look to one of the host of other reasons for executive dysfunction and inattention.
It's not all bad, people with ADHD are often deeply possessed of "courage under fire" because we're far too immediate to think of the possible ramifications in the moment and so all of a sudden, there we are running into a burning building or diving on a grenade.
But, then again, it's not often great. It manifests in different ways for different people: Impulse spending, random-ass overeating because something was there, I was, in my younger years, CONSTANTLY writing checks with my mouth that my ass couldn't hope to cash. I got into a LOT of fights. I got my ass beat a couple times.
Anyway, long story short, yes, this is something that is very common, and something I've been hit by myself.
Honestly, my greatest tip? Move to a cash based system. If you need to buy something online, pay it onto your credit card BEFORE you buy it online, but also, avoid buying shit online. I went FULL CASH for many years, and now I have a credit card, but I pay it off IMMEDIATELY, DAY OF. I carry cash CONSTANTLY. If I don't have the cash for something, I cannot afford it. If I have a day at a con or whatever and I spend all the cash I took out for the day, it doesn't matter how neat or rare or whatever the time is I'm not allowed to have it. Does this sound super un fun? It's not supposed to be fun, most ways to help manage your ADHD are not super fun. I get annoyed, but it's only by giving myself VERY VERY RIGID RULES that I can manage.
There are other quibbly things I do, but that's the greatest one.
It's gotten easier for me in recent years, because of a LOT of personal work on myself and my impulsive ass.
But this is why I can get so...i'm not sure what the word would be, insistent, maybe, that medication is not a complete solution for ADHD. Behavioral therapy and work and shit like that is the only thing that has actually taught me how to be a human when the drugs wear off (Full disclosure: I am unmedicated currently and have been for some years now)
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Starkid Musicals Ranked from Worst to Best
Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.
Welp. I finally did it. I've watched the entire Starkid musical library, and I must say, most of these plays fit my writing style perfectly:
Humor that is cynical yet random
Leaning in with comedy while sprinkling in some well-executed drama
An understanding that any type of story works as long as the cast of varying personalities of characters is dynamic enough to result in some phenomenal chemistry.
This is in almost all of their plays, excelled through fantastic writing and stellar performances driving the overall quality. And it inspired me not only to review each musical, but also ranking them all from worst to best. Or, more accurately, least good to most good. Because even at their "worst," Starkid still provides a funny, enjoyable experience that will keep you laughing with its comedy and your toes tapping with its catchy music. So strap in as I go in-depth into how Starkid proves how they are the masters of humor and melody.
(I'll also provide links to each musical, which is all for free on YouTube, so you can check them out yourselves. Just know that their early work is impossible to enjoy without subtitles, so you might want to have Closed Captions on when watching.)
#12-Holy Musical B@man-Everything about this play makes it seem like it's the weakest to me. The jokes, songs, and characters in Holy Musical B@tman just don't hit as hard as Starkid's other plays. It's still good, but compared to their best, the cracks show a lot more. That is, except for the ending. Not only is there a great speech that shows what makes superheroes so beloved, but "Super Friends" might just be my favorite finale song Starkid has ever put out. Holy Musical B@tman may not be the best, but it's at least worth the time.
#11-Firebringer-This was stupid. Really stupid. Funny as f**k, but still pretty stupid. Although I will give credit to one of the central pairings being LGBTQA+...Even though it makes little to no sense based on the characters' previous interactions. But in fairness, Starkid really sucks at writing good romantic relationships, so at least Firebringer has the benefit of being gay. And as we all know: The gayer, the better. The play is still stupid, though.
#10-Me and My Dick-The world in this musical makes little to no sense. Penises and vaginas are sentient and can communicate with their humans. And yet the penises and vaginas can also talk with each other, form relationships, leave their humans, and reinsert themselves into others--Yeah, it makes no sense...But, DAMN, is it funny! Every joke and innuendo Me and My Dick has about human anatomy works, and I could not stop laughing at each of them. Especially the names that were given to the vaginas, which are just...I mean, I'm laughing just by thinking about them. That should tell you how funny they are. This play might be illogical in every way, but if you turn your brain off and watch it for the humor, you'll definitely be in for something fun.
#9-ANI: A Parody-What's weird about ANI is that its best qualities are also weaknesses. A good chunk of the jokes are hilarious and expertly delivered. The issue is that most of them are about taking potshots at the Star Wars prequels, which might be the laziest jokes to make in a Star Wars parody. Then there's the soundtrack, having several songs that are a bop to listen to. The problem is that ANI suffers from the same issues as Tarzan and Brother Bear: Yes, technically, it is a musical, but it's one where none of the characters sing, and some people in the background do all the singing instead. It's all an odd balancing act of quality content made through questionable choices. ANI is still an entertaining play, but the force isn't as strong with this one.
#8-Black Friday-This might be the least funny play that Starkid has ever put out. Not just because it leans extra hard into drama, which was pretty effective during certain scenes. It's just when there are jokes in Black Friday, they tend to fall flatter more here than they did in other plays. Also, the plot of Black Friday might not be the best one to play straight. The serious moments work best when focusing on the characters and their personal struggles, but through the big bad that's supposed to be threatening? Not so much. Even if it was meant to be funny, well, I wasn't laughing. And believe it or not, I consider that to be the best judge of whether or not something is funny. That being said, while Black Friday isn't the most humorous Starkid musical, it's still pretty good. The characters are excellent, the songs are awesome, and the story is somewhat easy to follow. I would have appreciated a few more laughs, but I can respect these talented people wanting to challenge their strengths.
#7-Starship-This play feels very...Disney. It follows a familiar formula we've seen several times: The main character wants more than what he has in his crappy life, miraculously gets the exact thing he wants, falls in love with a girl in a short amount of time, faces off against a campy/over the top villain, realizes the hand he's been dealt isn't so bad, and in the end, gets what he wants anyway. Starship is still pretty entertaining through its jokes, characters, and songs, but it also feels weird that Starkid leans into these tropes when they would eventually make a much better play by making fun of them. The end result is not bad in the slightest, but it's also nowhere near their best.
#6-A Very Potter Musical-Starkid's first production, and boy, what a start to something wonderful. Every one of their gimmicks and motifs is present in A Very Potter Musical. The use of parody to playfully mock characters and stories they love, making songs that are as funny as they are emotional, and creating characters that work because of their lines and the actors' performances. Oh, and also, it's funny. And it’s not just through a parody angle, like making Cedric be a perfect boy who's always smiling. It's also funny through its jokes that work, even if you ignore the fact that it’s a parody altogether. Case in point, there are these two bits, one involving Voldemort and Beatrix with the other involving Ron and Hermoine, that are written and delivered so well that I was in tears much more than with any other Starkid play. When watching A Very Potter Musical, you'll not only understand how parody works, but you'll also gain an understanding of why Starkid turned out as successful as they did.
#5-The Trail to Oregon-What can I say? I'm a sucker for comedic dysfunctional families. And seeing a family of idiots make their way to Oregon via The Oregon Trail parody? Yeah, that's a win for me. The play may be another family road trip narrative, which some people might get sick of at this point. But because the dynamics and comedic chemistry everyone has with each other are on point, the end result proves that you don't need an original story to tell an entertaining one. Although I will say that out of all of Starkid's productions, The Trail to Oregon has by far the worst ending. Without giving anything away, the play spends way too much time on this one stupid joke that any of the characters could make. Comedy is defined by personalities, as are most things, so making the joke work for anyone is a bad move when this one, in particular, doesn't fit as well for some characters as it would for others. Plus, the finale song "Naked in a Lake" is a really poor choice to cap off this musical. It's catchy, but to me, a finale song should encapsulate everything about the story, characters, and themes. Not paying off a joke that I honestly wouldn't want the payoff for. So while the ending could have used a lot more polish, that doesn't change how The Trail to Oregon is a pretty funny play that I won't mind revisiting when I have the chance.
#4-A Very Potter Sequel-Hey, sometimes a sequel is better than the original. Sure some jokes don't land, and some story beats aren't as impactful as they thought they were (Serious Black's introduction, for example), but there are far more improvements to this play than the last one. The performances are stronger, the jokes are funnier, the music is catchier, and the characters are much more entertaining in this play than in A Very Potter Musical. Especially new additions like Lupin and Lucious Malfoy, who provide great comedy and sublime drama at times. And Umbridge. Sweet Mother of all that is holy, Umbridge. While A Very Potter Sequel never made me laugh to tears as the first play did, twice, Professor Umbridge carries the comedy so well that she surpasses all of that. Plus, on top of it all, this play nails its ending through a bittersweet note that really captures what makes Hogwarts so special to these characters. I always feel like Starkid's plays tend to lose steam during the last few minutes, but A Very Potter Sequel is one of the few instances that it just builds and builds to a perfect ending. A Very Potter Sequel might not always hit the right marks, but the results are just magical when it does get it right.
#3-The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals-This one is pretty clever. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is one of those stories that manages to be explicitly hilarious yet implicitly disturbing. For instance, people suddenly bursting into perfectly choreographed musical numbers in a world where songs are exclusively diegetic is pretty funny (especially through the characters' reactions to it). However, knowing what happens to these people and why they sing and dance so expertly helps make the whole situation pretty dire. It's an excellent balancing act that not many stories can accomplish. And while The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals leans one way or the other at times, it's still all handled really well. Oh, and also, you know how most people say the villain song is the best one in any musical? Well, technically speaking, nearly every song in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the villain song. Including the finale, which is just too brilliant for me not to give a round of applause. If you're a person who unfortunately doesn't like musicals either, I'd say be more than willing to give this one a chance. It's funny, catchy, and if you think of the implications, pretty damn disturbing.
#2-A Very Potter Senior Year-...You know how Avengers: Endgame is a bit of a mess, yet people still love it for how much of a perfect (sort of) finale it is? It's the same regard with A Very Potter Senior Year in my eyes. It's far from a masterpiece, but the many, many solid scenes that cap off this series help make me willing to overlook the mistakes. The characters, callbacks, and overall message about how things end was done so expertly well that I physically can’t hate this one. I can understand how it's more of an ok play when compared to the rest of Starkid's productions, but sometimes, ok is wonderful.
#1-Twisted: An Untold Story of a Royal Vizier-...It's Twisted. Everyone loves Twisted! And how could they not? Everything about this play just screams Starkid at their best. The comedy is uproarious, added with the fantastic delivery of the actors and the characters' personalities. Everyone feels as though they have one step in reality and the other in insanity. This, to me, seems like the best type of character work when going for the parody angle. Parody is about giving slight yet snide remarks toward the work you're mocking, which I feel works best when characters drop the suspension of disbelief audiences have when enjoying such a story. And Twisted definitely nails its satire in not only poking fun at Aladdin but also making jokes towards Disney as a brand. From their movies to their inside jokes to their formulas to even their corporate dealings with Pixar, nothing about Disney is sacred in Twisted. But on top of being funny, Twisted might just be the most successful Starkid has been with telling some really compelling drama. The jokes allow themselves to take a back seat to let serious moments play out, and even comedy is added, it provides more for the experience rather than taking anything away. You see this not only through the actors giving it their all but even through some really gorgeous and heart wrenching musical numbers. Oh, and also, Twisted has the best Starkid soundtrack, featuring songs that are epic, funny, and, as I said, heartbreaking. You cannot get better than this and, if you want to get a friend interested in Starkid as a whole, this might be the play for them. Scheherazade may have a thousand tales, but his one is a tale I wouldn't mind hearing for a thousand nights.
And that's about how I feel about Starkid and each and every one of their plays. Odds are your ranking would be much different from mine, and I'm all for that differing opinions. Feel free to make your own ranking if you want because I'm honestly curious where fans would place these plays above or below others. I'm relatively new to enjoying their work, so I have no idea what the consensus is. I do know one thing, though: If Starkid can still be incredibly entertaining through over ten years of content, then I am excited to see what they can accomplish next in another ten years.
#starkid#holy musical b@man#firebringer#me and my dick#ani: a parody#black friday#a very potter trilogy#the trail to oregon#the guy who didn't like musicals#twisted: the untold story of a royal vizier
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a bird secondary with a *very* unhealthy badger model
i’m pretty sure i’m using both Bird and Badger secondary tools - i just cannot for the life of me figure out which one’s my actual secondary, and which is the model. it doesn’t help that both of them are at least slightly charred. when i was younger, i was surely a Bird secondary, no doubt.
One of the reasons I ask people for childhood stories is I fundamentally don’t believe that sortings ever change. (Maybe that’s the Lion in me talking.) You can build beautiful models that you adore living in, but important aspects of yourself don’t just... fall away. They change, and grow, and level up.
i’ve always loved collecting knowledge, i store trivia better than many a fandom wiki, i’ve studied things just because they interested me, i’ve once memorised a big portion of the pokedex just for fun… you get the idea.
I’m going with Bird secondary as a hypothesis, but this doesn’t necessarily say bird secondary to me. Bird of some kind, sure. But it could still be a model.
when academia kicked my butt (hello, undiagnosed adhd), and i realised my natural talents and good memory won’t help me, i think i burnt my Bird. it really hit me very hard.
That can happen. And it’s brutal. But when a secondary burns from over-use, it’s not gone it’s just... tired.
i’ve started appreciating kindness and hard work, and i wanted to be a person who - wasn’t necessarily the smartest in the room (because i felt that this ship has already sailed.)
There’s a fun word for someone who thinks they’re the smartest person in the room. And that word is “asshole.” :) Seriously, ‘being the smartest person in the room’ isn’t a real thing, and definitely not something to aspire to.
didn’t help that i’ve also acquired a nemesis who was just as smart as me, but an asshole, lmaoo.
Like I was saying...
But I thought perhaps I could be the kind one. the patient one. the steady one. of course, that didn’t work for me with my adhd at all, lol. i am physically and mentally unable to reach that ideal of stable, patient, consistent, reliable. and it hit my self esteem real hard again.
There is some sort of POWERFUL Badger secondary influence in your life, making you believe that you need to be that way too. And you don’t. That’s the entire premise of this system. That there are many ways to solve problems, all equally effective and valid.
after all, not everyone can be smart, and that’s alright - but everyone can be a hard worker, right? it’s not a matter of any innate abilities.
You think the chip that allows you to settle down and focus on doing a non-preferred task in increments over long periods of time is not an innate ability? This is why I hate standardized tests. They test your ability to take a test much more than they test the material. Not everyone *can* sit at a desk in a silent, windowless room and do math problems for four hours. And why on earth should that be that a desirable, rewarded ability? The end goal is not to graduate and start working in a factory like its 1905.
my bachelor degree’s taken me a year longer than it should have, because i’ve started just… not doing my work. didn’t come to class, didn’t hand in my homework, didn’t contact my professors. did everything at the very last minute, if at all. and i didn’t know why.
It’s because you struggle with executive dysfunction. Because you’re neurodivergent.
i’ve felt terrible about it, because i wanted to be a good student, you know? i wanted to feel like i earned that degree. i passed, because i’m bright and i can extrapolate based on the knowledge i already have, and i have a lot of knowledge in this wonky brain of mine - but it doesn’t feel like i… deserved that pass.
for instance, we had this class - literature masterpieces of XX century. we were supposed to read one book each week. obviously i didn’t manage, bc despite reading as if my life depended on it in my early years, i lost that ability sometime during my high school years (when depression hit). so the night before, i’ve sat down, read the wikipedia article on every book and every author on the list, read goodreads’ reviews, sparknotes, whatever i could find. sometimes even fragments of the original text. and i passed that (oral) exam, even with this extremely strict professor. and i felt horrible about it, because i didn’t feel i deserved to pass that. i didn’t read those books! i’ve lied to you! i’ve cheated!
Listen. I’m a teacher, and I am telling you, you deserved that degree. You got the info, you thought about it, you understood. You didn’t trick your strict professor. Your professor did a good job, and allowed you to think and learn and demonstrate your knowledge in a way that worked for you. (Which is what they’re supposed to do.) I love students with ADHD, their brains are fast and non-linear, and yes they skim the reading, but they make connections and take things to new levels and process things in such cool way, and it just makes me feel alive you know?
I actually have more trouble with the opposite type, the student who obviously did the reading, but didn’t play with it or connect it to anything else they know, so it just kind of sits in their head like a lump, not doing them any good. But they are really good test-takers.
then again - doing things the right way was (and still is) sometimes just simply unaccesible to me.
There is no right way to do things. The right way to do thing is whatever makes you happy and gets the job done. But that’s a hard one to internalize. I still have trouble truly internalizing that one. But I’m getting better.
the badger secondary, therefore, is not anything that’s actually… useful to me, most of the time, lol.
You are crushing yourself under the weight of a Badger secondary model.
unless it’s the ~vibes~ of the badger that make professors like me, most of the time - and because of that liking, they’d often turn a blind eye to just how badly i’d fuck up.
I bet your professors like you because you’re an interested, interesting student who brightens up their day. And if they’re turning a blind eye, it’s because they know that people with ADHD struggle with deadlines sometime. And that’s /fine/
i often seem trustworthy and reliable in the beginning, before my executive dysfunction trips me up, and makes me beat myself up for not actually being that.
My thoughts on secondaries and executive dysfunction.
it’s the bird that helps me still achieve anything these days - the knowledge i still have, and the things i pick up along the way, from friends or twitter or online articles. i can bullshit my way through many things, because i know quite a bit about a wide range of topics.
It is so easy to pick up on true bullshit as a teacher. We *know* when you don’t know what you’re talking about. When you put together interesting statements and arguments on the fly - when you pull something out of your ass - it’s still coming from you. That’s just an alternate way of thinking. Also, everything you have written is SO BIRD.
but actually applying myself - which i feel is both necessary to succeed
It’s not.
and the right way to do things
There’s no such thing.
- is just… out of my reach. sorry for the rant, but i’m just so super confused, lmao. if you have any thoughts on this mess, i’d be very grateful. apologies for any mistakes, too - english is not my first language.
English isn’t your first language??? Your English is amazing. You’re a bird secondary, and a pretty brilliant one by the sound of it. And you are torturing yourself because you aren’t living up to an entirely arbitrary Badger secondary ideal.
#sortinghatchats#sortme#wisteria sorts#bird secondary#burnt bird secondary#badger secondary model#executive dysfunction#adhd#teaching
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How did you & buttons became friends? (I have communications problems too & i yearns for friendship like yours)
*cracks knuckles* anon you’re in for a RIDE
basically buttons went to school with a couple of my law school friends, but we had never met. We had this one friend in common who used to say things like “oh you’d hit right off with this friend of mine” but there was nothing beyond that.
Now I need you all to understand that one of our common acquaintances is a Mansplainer (tm). He’s the definition of mainsplainer to the point where he often enough mainsplains me my own fucking job (which you might guess annoys the shit out of me). And one day he posted something along the lines of Dragon Age 2 is a garbage game.
And i also need you to understand that I fucking love Dragon Age 2. I’ll play the same fucking maps over and over again for that sweet sweet character development. I’ll go into the same fucking cave three hundred times just to hear Hawke go “ "If they're not dead, watch out for a bunch of boneless women flopping through the streets”. the FLAVOR of this game. And it was lost on the Mansplainer because apparently games where he can’t beat everyone into submission are not games worth playing. I’m a national debate vice-champion and I had to let him know that he has a constitutional right to be wrong.
Buttons saw me go off on his facebook post, liked my comment, messaged me and said “hey do you also think that this dude is fucking dumb” to which i answered “yes i do” and then a beautiful friendship bloomed
(I might’ve ghosted her for a week or two because I was organizing a Conference and was chest-deep in shit, and then buttons caught on pretty quickly that the key to being my friend is to understand that i am shit at messaging people, that i have an executive dysfunction, and that my memory is, quite literally, garbage)
#not sure if this answers you anon#but it never fails to amuse me how our friendship was born out of a deep desire for men to shut the fuck up#Anonymous
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wbl has mitigating circumstances that make sense wITHIN the story. non consensuality isn’t ok but there’s a foundation we see which, yes, is majorly failed in other tv shows. there are other ways to show whattever it is they feel like it (i watched the end of ep 2, im just too fuckin depressed rn to even think) but it’s intersting the cruelty exists not in A vacuum but the world with WBL creates where we can see that stark difference. something many BLs and shows in gen like kdramas or teen or new adult (essentially every youthfoul show cos exploitation and creator not caring) understand. TT is a prime example of how it just doesn’t make sense these types of relationships unless there’s a solid enough foundation and at least a mild understanding of the inappropriateness.
right now, the toxicity is born out of like actual conflict. wer i in in this situation, would i do any of that? no. in fact i’d beat anyone’s ass for ever manhandling me that way. i want to itereate here emphasis none of this behavior is ok. since it is a tv show, they have more control and could ostensibly have not written that. however, it’s okay for a show to flub that message, make us uncomfortable, or even truly fuck up the way we think it’s fucked up. i do NOT advise this to be a plan. HOWEVER: PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES. the reddest flag of all is: ARE THEY WILLING TO CHANGE? if they are not, they do NOT deserve to be together.
which mbrings me here. theyre giving us a reason why.
the program gives itself the space and the foreground for it to be a story that isnt fuocused on how much they fuck and fight. ergo these behaviours cannot be repeated bc theyre in this instance. so many viewers of everything say people expect media to be perfect. no. we dont. it’s impossible and we live in a trash disgusting racist capitaist garbage hellfire. what you mean is you want to see people make mistakes but ultimately transgress them and sometimes people just do shit we wouldn’t forgive, or is messed up, or the writers need to make DAMN FUCKING SURE is clear.
but unlike most shows esp targeted for young teens both het and BL, thte consequences of love or what love means to young people is so skewed and poorly done because it’s by people who AREN’T that age, don’t know howhumans work, shit like that. i mean u can just tell by the acting even as sam is really goof and most experienced but has a real whole life outside of this persona, a girlfriend, goals of acting probably; showing what it’s like to be human in a way but not a projection of human fantasy through rape culture.
we like to see dysfunction for two reasons: as a way to get out of it or as a redemption arc
but for people who are making cheap shows for kids who don’t need to think about it it’s like: shitty execution, gross love, and no context for why they should even CONTINUE to stay together on top of the harm
wbl is far from perfect like any other show but it’s wil what happens when intentions are clear when you show them and so it’s easier for all of us to process. not to mention they built this story through blocks, the way one is supposed to, the relationship of the two of them when they hadn’t been intimate is very different from now
GSD has to tell the truth, SY has to grow up, rich ppl suck. but it’s a good ride
as an aside is sam lin’s gf cute i hope so but like in a fun way idc abt model bitches it’s so obvious when men do that lmaoooooo but omg! i hope hes happy and also he and mr yu stay friends fro a long time!
oh and i wanna add that GSD’s life revolving around his love for shi yu is actually untrue. it’s a projectiona nd i think the illusion of that projection is brokena nd that’s a good thing. the show sets up an ensemble cast we vibe with, want to see, appreciate, and that means GSD has friends and loves. his life revolves aruond him and the way he sees the romance but he would have never let his mom go to the US by himself and i really hope the show explores why it is IMPERATIVE for him to find his own personhood and not just take care of others.
his mom would want him to love every bit of his life. all consuming love is so beautiful but it’s only beautiful when you realize you have to survive to love someone so well. and when you survive and understand yourself, your loved ones feel it. they’re very reliable as a group friends and a people and shi de is and will always be a human outside of yu. he has to understand that. it was nice to see his anger at being played too cos it’s like yea that’s fucking disgusting and it hurts and kills you
i’m going to continue to assess the volatility within the story and its progression as much as i can if i can handle being online. this show really exceeds a lot of expectations and mostly i think i forget....it’s actually fun. i was so happy to see the way the dad came into the room in the morning bc i think that was so sweet and hopefully is an indicator of why he said to do what he did. unfortunately homophobic or not: he fucked up. majorly. as a parent, a confideant, a loved one. you do not do that. i am sorry. but they can bounce back. but that’s a lot of pain, ok?
also i hate rich ppl did i mention that
oh one more thing idk if they had sex but dramas love to do the whole drunk ppl fucking thing and it’s fucking disgusting and will always be :)
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Check Up Tag
Tagged by @peridottea91 for this lovely and thoughtful little meme, and since I keep forgetting to do EVERY other thing I've been tagged in, I'll do this right away. :)
How are you doing mentally?
Hmm....that's a damn good question. I have undiagnosed ADHD, which is probably the root of a lot of my struggles. Being an essential worker during a pandemic is a nightmare, to say the least. I'm Not Thrilled with my living situation and haven't been for a long time, particularly not since I realized the extent to which my identity and values clash with certain individuals I live with. I've fallen out of touch with people I care about but don't seem to hold me in the same regard. Some of my coworkers are driving me fucking crazy and I'm sick and fucking tired of babysitting a bunch of grown ass adults who either don't take the job seriously or take the job personally. I JUST WANT LESS DRAMA, FFS. All of this is wrecking my brain and the only thing to thrive during these uncertain times (*gag*) are my executive dysfunction, mood swings, disassociative (yes, that's a word because I just used it :p) tendencies, and Procrastination On Autopilot. If it wasn't for a few people on here, a few favorite YouTubers, and some new fandoms, I would have set a lot of things on fire by now. So, I've been better, but I've also been much worse. I'm just in a position to rail against the unfairness of it where I might not have been in previous rough patches.
How are you doing health wise?
Beats me. Haven't been to a doctor in years. I need ADHD meds, or therapy, or both. I've got some dental issues that give me trouble off and on. My mental issues occasionally impact my overall health, namely my motivation/energy/willpower to take care of myself, but setting reminders to do certain things is helping. My menstrual cycle is, and always has been, drastically irregular, which comes with more problems. Again, though, I've been worse, and having learned the hard way what emotional and mental consequences can come from physical neglect, I'm doing much better at self-care than I have in the past.
What are you doing currently?
Watching Tasting History on YouTube, doing this, contemplating another cup of coffee and potentially doing some writing, and recovering from a bowl of spicy ramen.
What is today's highlight?
I had planned on finally listening to the Mechanisms final album 😭 but I won't have enough time before work, so...postponed. I'll just see where the day goes.
(If you're comfortable) Post a pic of you! Or your pet!
Behold! A doggo!
Yeah, sure, she looks cute, but she's a tyrant.
Tagging @rhyatt-deauxtreve @jade-elite @slytherkins @raspberrymama @letsby. Pass or play, folks. ❤
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Autistic 03 turtle hcs?
Yaay!
Hmm. @tmntwhat-you-get-is-what-you-see , what did we decide?
Okay, 2003.
Leo: special interests include SHARP THINGS, SWORDS OMG, Japanese culture and mythology. Anxiety like whoa. Has shutdowns when things don't work out. Meltdowns involve beating himself up via nonstop Kata training. Perfectionist who sees his youngest brother as his yin yang shadow and brimming with potential but also too little internal motivation via executive dysfunction and ADHD RSD, thus attempts to pull Mikey into Leo's world are met with whiny resistance which makes Leo have tunnel vision, but then he realizes what he's doing and apologizes. Leo, you need to calm down.
Raph: Special interests include vehicles, physical workouts and the anatomical biology that comes with, including how to work, eat, recover, maintain. Stocks protein smoothies in the kitchen. Actually is best at patching up injuries but has anxiety around blood and seeing his brothers so wounded. Shutdowns will happen if a brother is unconscious. Meltdowns are common due to emotional dysregulation, see: the Lead Pipe Incident. Often has fugue states. Needs regular venting, provided when Leo spars with him and when Mike goads him on until his temper cools.
Donnie: Most stereotypical but it's used to educate. Special interests include engineering, mechanics, chemistry, biology, physics of all kinds. Can and will read encyclopedias for fun. Loves to infodump. Anxiety and compulsions very close to the surface. Oooh SHINY, must bring home and tinker with. Go away, busy. Can't talk, inventing. Is most likely to have disordered dysfunctional regulation between gut and brain thus won't feel hunger or fatigue, is annoyed but grateful when Mikey feeds him. Has many many noises, needs to be active to keep dark thoughts suppressed. Lacks self esteem however is quietly the most proud of his work. Shutdowns are sometimes too subtle. Meltdowns are always surprising. Loves helping and often neglects self care. Probably can't live without little brother.
Mikey: ADHD Stereotype like whoa. Autistic traits more "girl coded" - special interests include YES WHATEVER THAT IS, SHINY. Comics, movies, cartoons, superhero worlds, having fun, sports, athletic anything, picking people's brains, learning philosophy. Yes he reads actual literature, shut up, he has stolen Donnie's psychology textbooks and Stephen Hawking. Prefers Michio Kaku, Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson. Owns all Michio Kaku's books. Physics of Star Trek? Shell yeah. Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell. Freud is a douche. Loves fantasy books. Ask him how often he's read every Tolkien and Narnia book. Obsessed with other worlds where he'd be accepted and loved and maybe a celebrity. Optimistic is his default. He looks for the good in everyone, he looks for every silver lining. Therefore, when depression hits, it punches him so hard the sun goes out. It's ugly. Meltdowns are the rarest but are white hot explosions of rage, grief, pain; self esteem, self worth, ego, concept of being needed is all obliterated. Likely to self harm through psychological tactics and purposely getting into accidents or battles. Needs Raph to calm him down. Shutdowns are almost unknown but easily recognized, becomes quiet and sullen and broken lights and dragging and endless midnight. Once joy is reinstalled, he recovers immediately and begins acting like nothing happened. Will shove down dark thoughts and continue life in pure happiness until the next punch from depression. Family constantly worries. Whoops.
-
This has gotten very long and I haven't even gotten to stims. But I think canon answered that in most episodes if you look hard enough.
Let's do this again sometime.
PS, thank you for unknowingly encouraging my work on "The Brighest Fire" in which I casually mention Mike and Don being autistic in the first chapter. Once I'm satisfied with Chapter Four, Leo and Raph will have their moments.
#tmnt imagines#tmnt headcanons#headcanon autistic#being autistic#autistic characters#canon adhd#give mikey caffeine for his adhd#tmnt mikey has always had adhd#writing ninja turtles as imaginary coping mechanisms#writing ninja turtles as neurodivergent symbolism#the ninja turtles are autistic#tmnt 2003#2003 mikey deserved better#the brightest fire#they call me the queen of tmnt mikey whump#angst fic#cfr crossfire#thirty years with the ninja turtles#ninja turtles and the love of fans#rise of the neurodivergent teenage mutant ninja turtles#my neurodivergent turtle children#donatello is autistic obviously but so is michelangelo#michelangelo is adhd and autistic like me#i created this tumblr because of michelangelo#the neuropsychology of michelangelo#empath mikey#michelangelo the social empath#raph and his heart#leonardo the honor nerd#donnie is a sassy nerd isn't he
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I saw your post on the partisan lines drawn in the Trump impeachment case. Has congress always been this dysfunctional or is this a relatively new thing? Things feel very hopeless.
Aha. Aha. Ahaaaa. Hah.
I’ll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue, or in this case, American political dysfunction. As with many tales of recent American political dysfunction, this one starts with… Ronald Reagan!
(Man, Hilary, do you really hate Ronald Reagan that much? Answer: Yes, yes I do. Especially since public opinion has moved to ranking him as one of the greatest presidents ever, even Democrats tiptoe around criticizing him, and he is responsible for so much of the shit we are presently in! So much!)
For the younglings amongst us, Reagan was Trump before Trump was Trump: a popular actor who dodged out of service in WWII by making heroic propaganda films, found politics, ran as a Republican and almost swiped the nomination out from Ford in 1976, then ran again in 1980 and beat Jimmy Carter in a landslide. Reagan was, as we’ve discussed, a huge fan of voodoo economics, deregulation, ignoring the AIDS crisis, and massively pumping up the American military mythos and dangerously aggravating the Cold War. In the early 1980s, as the Soviet Union was collapsing from within and could barely feed its own citizens, Reagan was out there hyping it up as the most Terrible and Evil foe that America had ever faced anywhere, which therefore justified a giant surge in military spending and preparation for apparently imminent doomsday. Reagan was positive the commies were everywhere, especially in Central America, and had to be defeated. They were apparently particularly in Grenada (see the 1983 invasion of Grenada) and Nicaragua (the Sandinistas; remember them, they will be important.) The US/CIA has been absolutely shamefully imperialist and interventionist in Latin America for decades, but these were just a few of Ronald’s favorite things. All of this may sound like a diversion just to bag on him some more, because fuck that guy, but I promise, there’s a point.
See, the key difference between Reagan and Trump was that Reagan was nicknamed the “Great Communicator.” Unlike the barely literate Orange One, the Gipper sure could tell a great story, and by golly, he did not let the facts get in the way. He was also a huge advocate of untrammeled power for the executive branch. One thing that Reagan was not a fan of was informing Congress in any measure of what he was doing. The Iran-Contra scandal, which really should have destroyed Reagan’s administration in any just world and also gotten him impeached, was the revelation that he was running friggin’ illegal arms sales to Iran (in the name of freeing exactly seven American hostages who Iran never had any intention of releasing), arming right-wing anti-communist paramilitaries in Nicaragua with the proceeds, and had told Congress about exactly jack shit of any of this! Reagan was basically running his own private empire/byzantine weapons deals/fiefdom/whatever the goddamn hell he wanted, he was a big believer in the president never having to explain himself to anyone or ask permission for anything, while conducting illegal private wars, lying constantly, wrecking the economy, giving tax breaks to billionaires, constantly running off at the mouth about a mostly fictional enemy, and getting credit for ending the Cold War after he nearly single-handedly turned it hot. Sound familiar?
It may help to explain the extended nightmare of the last several Republican administrations if you remember that they were/are basically one mutated Frankenadministration. Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and others – aka all the later major players under George Bushes Sr. and Jr. – were all high-level Cabinet members of Reagan’s administration. This was all just part of one policy put into place by the same people at every chance they got when they were in power, and that was focused on making the (Republican) president basically able to do whatever he wanted. That checks and balances stuff, man, who needs that? As a result, Congress was deliberately designed to be either totally minimized/outright ignored (if held by the opposing party) or a slavish organ of lockstep devotion (if held by the Republicans). This was not always the case. When the Republicans won it back under Reagan in the 1980s, the Senate had been under Democratic control for almost 30 years. There were bumps, obviously, but there was still some sense that the legislative and the executive branches were both vital for government and should work together.
…yeah, so. Reagan junked all that, basically. When W. got to the White House, he then had 9/11 barely 9 months into his presidency, which meant that for a while, he also could do pretty much whatever and no one in either the House or Senate, regardless of party, really dared to oppose him for fear of looking anti-American. This was concurrent with the Republican Party abandoning even a pretense that they were interested in anyone besides rich white (nominally) Christian men. (The religious right also acquired its modern connotations/voting force under, you guessed it, Reagan!) Hence, they were absolutely furious when a brown Democrat with the middle name Hussein won the election in 2008. Mitch McConnell then decided before Obama was even sworn in that the congressional Republicans just flat-out weren’t going to cooperate with anything he did. Didn’t matter what. They were going to obstruct anything and everything, so Obama wouldn’t be able to deliver on his flagship campaign promises and the blame would fall on him. The Republicans were dead-set on making Obama a one-term president, again, before he had even set foot in the White House. Democrats also controlled the House and Senate for the first two years of Obama’s presidency, so this didn’t immediately matter. But then came 2010 and the Tea Party wave, and now the Republicans had a majority, and they did exactly as promised. They blocked everything. Consistently. No matter what.
We mentioned Merrick Garland before. I’m still mad about Merrick Garland. Mitch McConnell outright refused to hold any hearings to confirm Obama’s perfectly legitimate Supreme Court pick for almost eighteen months, betting on a Republican to win the 2016 election and do so instead, and he got away with it. That is why we have Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavarapist on the court right now. The Republicans have proven that they don’t give a damn about public welfare or any pretense of public morality or…. well, anything whatsoever except making themselves richer and more powerful. As bad as Trump is, he could still be out if the congressional GOP had any morals, backbone, willingness to go against their toxic lockstep ideology for the good of the country, or anything. Except… they don’t. They have voted time and again to enable him, shield him from prosecution, and support his plans, because as long as he’s in office, they’re doing well off the gravy train. I really cannot overstate how sociopathic and cowardly these people are. And half the country is still willing to vote for them!
So…. yes. The answer is, Congress, especially the Republican Congress, has been deliberately designed to act exactly like this since the 1980s, and it’s doing exactly what it means to. As to whether that is going to change, you, me, and the rest of America are the only ones who can decide that, and do that, you absolutely must, MUST vote, and not for them.
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How much did you tell Chiaki? Did you tell her about class 77-B's fate, the future foundation, or the killing school life?
So...what exactly is the Tragedy? What happens at Hope’s Peak?
You might wanna sit down for this one.
_______________________________________________________
“A lot of things happened leading up to it, one of them being the deaths of Natsumi and Honami. From there, a lot of the wrong people ended up in the wrong places at the wrong times.”
“That includes me. That project the Steering Committee tried to get me to agree to? It would’ve turned me into what they thought would be the Ultimate Hope for mankind, dumping every talent imaginable into my head. Instead, it turned me into a man with everything human removed: emotions, thoughts, feelings, hobbies, and memories. All that was left was Kamukura Izuru.”
“But that’s not the worst part.”
“The one behind this whole thing? The one who took advantage of all this chaos? She’ll be a member of Class 78 next year.”
“Enoshima Junko, the Ultimate Despair.”
Chiaki: Ultimate Despair?
“She might seem like this friendly, charismatic fashion icon, but she’s really a lunatic who gets off on causing pain and misery, even to herself. She’s chronically bored and starts chaos just to make her life interesting. That’s why she decided to end the world.”
Chiaki: She was bored? That’s...that’s it?
“She also wanted to show the world how despair is this all-consuming, chaotic force that...I don’t know. I can still barely understand what her motives are, if she has any. What matters is, she starts the whole thing with help from her sister, Ikusaba Mukuro.”
Chiaki: Just the two of them?
“Well...no. They had help. They got the secrets about what was happening behind the scenes at the school out to the public, which started a huge demonstration from the Reserve Course. They went around secretly killing people, and also...found some allies.”
Chiaki: Who...?
“Us.”
“She brainwashed us, twisted us, made us into her personal cult utterly devoted to her and her beliefs. Causing despair, chaos, death, destruction, and every crime you can possibly imagine. We did it all to our friends, our families, even to ourselves. Thanks to us, the Tragedy wasn’t just contained to Hope’s Peak.”
“It spread outside the school’s walls, turning into a huge societal phenomenon, with people everywhere protesting against the wealthy and talented. It spread across the media, the internet, everything. All people across all races and all cultures were affected. Soon, it degenerated into a massive orgy of violence and anarchy. Terrorism, coups, and wars were happening all the time just for the sake of causing despair.”
“But even Enoshima felt it wasn’t enough.”
Chiaki: What do you mean?
“She went after her classmates next.”
“See, the rest of Class 78 survived by turning the Hope’s Peak main building into a shelter. They were supposed to be safe there, but the Despair Sisters were already there. After stealing everyone’s memories through advanced neuroscience and broadcasting the whole thing on international TV, they started the Killing Game. That was their plan to crush any hope left in the world by showing the Ultimates killing each-other.”
“But they managed to turn things on their head. A lot of them died, but the last six managed to beat her and Enoshima was executed. Seeing her die and the six of them escape revitalized a lot of hope in the world, but we were still out there, causing despair in her name.”
“That’s when a new organization showed up, made up of former Hope’s Peak staff, alumni, and the six survivors. They called themselves Future Foundation. Their goal was to stop the Tragedy and rebuild society. And after two years, they made their biggest step forward by capturing us. And the plan was to execute us, to finally put a stop to things.”
Chaiki: What?! What...what happened?
“Naegi, one of the survivors, decided we should have a second chance. So he and two of the others, Kirigiri and Togami, took us from Foundation custody and brought us to the old Jabberwock island resort. That’s where they set up the Neo World Program.”
“It was a virtual reality therapy system that was designed to erase our memories of our time at Hope‘s Peak. The idea was that, with those gone and replaced with pleasant ones from our time in the simulation- on a fake Jabberwock- maybe we‘d go back to our old selves. And it kinda worked.”
Chiaki: Kinda?
“Turns out our plan was to get captured. Izuru had an AI copy of Enoshima’s personality that he secretly uploaded into the program. And with that, rather than a therapy simulation, we were caught up in a Killing Game of our own.”
“We had no memory of what happened, just finding ourselves caught up in this mess. This game, though, was meant to be our final attempt at bringing her back. See, whoever died in the simulation would fall comatose in the real world. The system that was supposed to upload our minds back into our bodies was hijacked so the AI could instead upload itself into all their bodies.”
“By the end, only five of us were left. We could either upload ourselves into our own bodies and allow her to escape, stay in the simulation forever, or hit the shutdown button and go back to being Ultimate Despair with no idea what happened.”
Chiaki: That’s...a lot. What did you choose?
“I almost gave up. I couldn’t make a decision. But...you convinced me to.”
“You...you came to me, and gave me the motivation I needed to take a chance, to make my own future and not play by Enoshima’s game. It was a gamble, but it paid off. We hit the shutdown command and we ended up escaping the simulation with our memories from both lives intact. I was mostly myself, but Izuru was still living in my brain.”
Chiaki: What about everyone who died?
“All still comatose. We got to work trying to get you all back. Unfortunately, things weren��t over just yet.”
“Naegi was dragged to Future Foundation’s headquarters, where he was put on trial for treason. The heads from all Foundation branches were called in, and that’s when someone set off a trap. They were all pulled into a Final Killing Game.”
Chiaki: Another one? Was there a despair hiding there too?
“Yes...but they weren’t responsible.”
Chiaki:Who was then? Why another one?
“Director Tengan Kazuo. He set it up as a way to weed our dissent among the Foundation leaders. He’d gotten so sick and tired of their infighting and had lost hope that the Tragedy would ever end. So he decided the best choice was to kill off the worst elements and force the world into a new state of peace. That meant introducing a Hope Brainwashing Video to the world courtesy of Mitarai.”
Chiaki: Mitarai? He wasn’t a despair?
“Well...okay, long story short, the Mitarai in your class isn’t the same person. They’re the Ultimate Imposter, and a damn good friend. The real Mitarai was hiding away from everything and had joined up with the Foundation, but he‘d also lost hope that things could change.”
Chiaki: What happened then? Did he...?
“Nope. We got there in time. Things might’ve been bad over there, but we got everyone out of their comas, all back to normal, and managed to get on a boat and set off for their HQ. He’d brainwashed most of the people there, but we got through them without killing anybody and convinced Mitarai to stand down.”
“But we also to tell the world it was our fault. That we were the ones behind the events at Foundation HQ. And after that, we went into exile back at Jabberwock.”
Chiaki: Why though? We were all normal again, right?
“Yeah, but nobody else knew that. And we were the last big factor in everything. If the world thought we were out there and attacked Future Foundation, rather than their leaders being so dysfunctional that they killed each-other, it would get the rest of the organization and people out there to rally behind together. The world needed them. It needed to rebuild.”
“And thanks to Naegi and his friends, it did. And we all decided we‘d spend the rest of our lives together on those islands, living our lives how we‘d want to from now on.”
“Six months later, I laid down one day and woke up back in April 2012.”
_________________________________________________
And the rest is part of a new history.
#Anonymous#danganronpa#sdr2#danganronpa 2#danganronpa 3#danganronpa thh#Hajime Hinata#Chiaki Nanami#a student out of time#DR
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