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veronicaphoenix · 2 months

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Title: Into the Abyss of Bad Habits — Part Three | Words: 10k

Tags & trigger warnings: unresolved to resolved feelings, polyamorous relationship, angst to fluff and comfort, mentions of anxiety, sexual content, including threesome, p in v (protected), oral sex (both receiving), overstimulation, edge play, slight bondage, blindfolding, mentions of spankings, double penetration. (Let me know if I'm missing sth).

Author’s note: here it finally goes :) this is for you all. Thank you for reading and sharing your reactions 💕

INTO THE ABYSS OF BAD HABITS — PART THREE

“Where are you?” My brother’s voice reached my ears through the phone line.

I stopped the absent-minded tracing of letter on the surface of my Costa Coffee cup and furrowed my brow. “What do you mean, ‘where am I’? I’m in England. I told you I’d be here until—”

“I know you’re in England, smartass,” he retorted. He was likely in his office, settling into his morning routine in Los Angeles, while it was mid-afternoon in the UK. “I mean, where exactly? I got a call from Noah twenty minutes ago. He’s freaking out because you’re nowhere to be found and you’re not answering his calls or messages.”

“Oh.”

Noah had indeed tried reaching me several times since morning, calling and texting and then joining the iMessage group where Oliver had also added his fair dose of worried and then angry messages. I should have said something, I realized now, at least to reassure them that nothing had happened —besides getting fucked by both of them and feeling very sore—.

The memories from last night flooded back and I tightened my grip on the cup of hot chocolate, tuning out the noise of the people around me.

When I left the hotel that morning, I walked far from it hoping a change of scenery might clear my head and provide some clarity on what I’d done and its implications for my relationships with Noah and Oliver. But even after skipping lunch for a coffee at Starbucks, then trying my luck with a hot chocolate at Costa, nothing seemed to help.

I was doomed, and my brother’s call was the last thing I needed.

Jack called my name repeatedly until he had to raise his voice, pulling me from my thoughts. “Are you there? What’s going on?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m—I’m just in a café. I was feeling suffocated with all the coming and going between hotels and venues, bus rides and all the work and…”

“Did something happen?”

“No,” I replied too quickly, knowing he’d detect the evasion.

I could almost envision his raised eyebrow on the other end of the line.

“You slept with him again, didn’t you?”

“Jack, that’s none of your business.”

“I know, but you’re my sister and your well-being is, in fact, my business. I know something is up by the way Noah was speaking, and there was some Brit losing his mind in the background, too. What is this all about?”

“Jack, trust me, you don’t want to know.”

There was a silence coming from his side and my cheeks started burning. I glanced around nervously, feeling as thought every eye in the café was on me.

Jack’s sigh reached my end.

“Listen, baby sis, whatever you’ve done, you need to fix it. This situation with Noah has been going on long enough, and you two are lying to each other,” he acknowledged. “If there’s a third party involved… Well, I don’t know. That’s your business but sort it out. Don’t bury your head in the sand. That’s not like you. You’ve always been the one preaching all that shit about talking about your feelings and communication being so important. Don’t shy away from it now. Whatever it is, I’m sure it can be fixed, and don’t be afraid of what might happen. You know you can always call me, whenever.”

I was the one rising an eyebrow now.

“How much has Noah told you?”

Jack chuckled.

“Just talk to them.”

Oh.

There it was again.

Them.

I wondered if leaving had been a mistake, after all.

Not long after my conversation with Jack, I returned to the hotel.

As I stepped into the room, I was met with a potent blend of sex and masculinity that engulfed my senses.

The bed was still unmade, a reminder of the recent sinful activities. I noticed the ‘do not disturb’ sign still hanging outside the door and decided to leave it be, my fingers tingling with the weight of my growing anxiety.

Every time I looked towards the tousled sheets, vivid and colorful memories flooded my mind. I could see myself on top of Oliver, Noah behind me, the three of us drowning in a sea of collective groans, screams, and wails of pleasure.

I could also see their slumbering forms occupying each side of the bed.

To divert my mind, I looked for something else to do. I needed to sort out my things, indulge in a hot shower, maybe eat something or have another coffee. Instead, my eyes fell upon the lingerie set, neatly folded, and placed on the desk next to the TV remote.

Which one of them took the time to gather the garments from the floor and fold them so meticulously?

My heart fluttered at the tender gesture, adding another drop of confusion to my ongoing crisis.

I made a beeline for the shower. Noah’s and Oliver’s scent still lingered on my skin, and the love bites and hickeys wouldn’t leave me for a few days. I had no other choice but take my brother’s advice and pull myself together.

After a grueling day spent replaying the events of the previous night and a near-anxiety attack in the confines of my hotel bathroom, I decided I had to talk to them. Hiding and pretending none of it had happened would only lead to further complications and would strain my relationship with Noah and Oliver to the point of ruining everything. I couldn’t afford to let it fester and seep into their professional lives. I would not let that happen.

An hour slipped away while I debated when it would be the best time to approach them.

Should I text them? Send a message on the iMessage group? Or should I just talk to them face to face? To one of them first or to both at the same time?

By the time I resolved that this was something that needed to be talked to face to face and I gathered the courage to admit my mistake, evening had descended, and everybody was already at the venue where the bands were playing that night.

I was still unsure of where this would go. I’d had the entire day to think about my feelings and, well, I was still a mess. The only certainty I held onto was that I didn’t want to lose any of them, so I was willing to do whatever they said, whether it was keeping everything in professional terms, remain friends, or…

Taking a deep breath, I watched as the Nicks and Jolly descended from the stage, their faces beaming with sweat and satisfaction. Jolly squeezed my shoulder as he passed by. In return I sent a faint smile his way.

Moments later, Noah appeared, descending the metal steps clad in black pants and a tank top. His eyes briefly widened as he caught sight of me. He paused, the towel in his hand frozen mid-motion as he registered my presence. Then, without a word, he continued past me, following the same path as the rest of the band.

“Noah,” I called out, a tinge of desperation in my voice. But amidst the hustle and bustle of the stage preparation for BMTH, my plea seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Noah stopped, half-turning towards me. His gaze was cold, and he was angry. That much I could tell.

I couldn’t fuck it up anymore, so the last thing left for me to do was to be honest.

“I got scared,” I said, the words catching in my throat.

“Scared?” He echoed, his tone sharp.

If I nodded, it was lost on me because his dark, penetrating gaze made me freeze on the spot, and when he drew nearer, my heart thundered in my chest.

“No, you don’t get to tell me that you got scared,” he retorted, barely inches away from me, his voice low and intense. His scent enveloped me: he smelled just the same as last night, except for the missing addition of my own sweat and the magical residual scent of sex.

I wanted him again. I wanted him covered in sweat from the heat of our intimacy, of our entwined bodies.

He towered over me, his presence overwhelming, making me feel tiny and inconsequential.

“I was the one scared,” he admitted, his voice laced with pain and fury. “I was scared every time I fucked you in my bed and I found you looking at me with those beautiful fucking eyes. I was scared because I knew I was falling in hard. I was terrified,” he emphasized, the last word dripping with raw emotion. “Then you slept with Oliver. When I got to know, I was on the verge of nightmares. I was terrified at the thought that I might have lost you. Then you told me all those things, and yet, I decided to give you what you wanted even though it scared the shit out of me. It scared me to hell to think of what it would do to me —to us— if we crossed that line with Oliver. And yet again, we did. And then this morning you were gone. You were not there by my side when you made me promise not to leave. So no, you don’t get to tell me you were scared after you got fucked by two men who fucking adore you!”

My throat constricted, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

Instinctively, my hand reached out towards him, but Noah recoiled, stepping back with a shake of his head. Not a single strand of hair moved from its place on his forehead due to the layer of sweat covering every inch of this tall, muscular frame.

“You wanted honesty? There it is,” he continued, this time his voice low and composed. He dropped the towel to the floor, as if he was… giving up. “You were right to demand that from me, but you should have done the same in return.”

And yet, I had left him before the sun rose, just as he did with me in that moment, stepping back with his brown eyes locked on mine until he couldn’t stand my gaze any longer and he turned away, rushing out the corner and disappearing from my sight.

I realized then the severity of my actions. It had taken me years to get Noah to open up, and just when I had managed to get him to, to unwrap another layer of him, I had turned my back on him.

He had all the right to be furious, to hate me, to never want to see me again.

I just didn’t think I could take it because, with each passing second, my feelings for him were becoming clearer. What I had been feeling for months was more than just platonic adoration.

Waves of anxiety engulfed me. Some of the staff members, having caught up in the intense exchange, cast various glances my way as I stood there alone, drowning in my own misery. Some of their looks were pitiful, others were dripping with disgust.

With a dry throat and some tears streaming down my cheeks, I hid in the nearest restroom and in a feeble attempt to regain my composure. I told myself that there was a way to get Noah back, that we could be mended and we could move past this.

But another voice in my head told me that I had fucked up beyond repair; that I hadn’t just fucked up a wonderful relationship with two wonderful men; I had also hurt them, and that knowledge tore my insides apart.

I didn’t recognize myself.

Why had I acted the way I did? Why hadn’t I stayed?

I had always been the one to push others to improve their communication skills. I hated unresolved tension and not having a clear idea of what I felt and what others felt around me. It was something that consistently plunged me into anxiety, so why had I chosen this path?

Desperation seized me.

Fifteen minutes later, after washing my face and trying to move the hair away from my face, I headed to the green room.

Though greeted with nods and briefs hugs from the people crowding the room, my focus was on one individual.

My stomach knotted at the sight of Oliver’s eyes on me, the look on his green orbs not much distant from the one Noah had had mere moments ago. Swallowing hard, I walked to him, ignoring some lighthearted joke Mat attempted to engage me in. He must have sensed my unease, not from my lack of response, but from the weight of Oliver’s stare as he stood in my path.

His bandmates had known him for than I did, and it was clear that they knew when to shut their mouths and redirect their gazes away.

Perhaps I should have felt terrified, but terrified had led me to ruin one of the best nights of my life, so no, I wouldn’t let it happen again.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I would need more than a minute to say everything I wanted to say, though.

Instead of replying, he eyed me for two seconds, twirling the Red Bull can in his hand before addressing the room at large.

“Guys, can you give us some privacy?”

In another circumstance, I might have felt embarrassed by the sudden attention, knowing that everyone present was likely speculating about why Oliver wanted to be alone with me in the green room and we both had those long faces on. However, after the events of last night, I found myself beyond the capacity for embarrassment.

“We’re going on stage in ten minutes,” Lee interjected. I could feel his gaze boring into my back while he sent a warning directed at Oliver.

“Got it,” Oliver replied, his tone firm.

It took the others a full minute to gather their stuff and vacate the room, some muttering under their breath as they left.

Taking a deep breath, I met Oliver’s gaze head-on, steeling myself.

“I fucked up," I began, watching him closely for his reaction. The weight of my words sank in as I tried to get my shit together after my failed attempt at sorting things out with Noah earlier.

I waited for his reply with my nerves eating me alive.

“You fucked up by having sex with me and Noah or by leaving in the morning?”

“By leaving in the morning. I should have stayed. I just… I panicked.”

Oliver narrowed his green eyes at me, a mix of frustration and something else flickering across his face.

“I can understand that,” he conceded, his tone softening slightly, “but then you bailed on us and disappeared the entire day. What are we supposed to think?”

Standing up straight, he moved away from the cheap white IKEA table he had been leaning on, circling me before disposing of the can in a nearby black bin.

Yeah, I should've stayed and talked to them instead of running away, but what was done, was done. Now I had to find a way to fix it on my own.

“Noah doesn’t want to talk to me," I said, feeling like a whiny little girl for being denied a lollipop.

“I’m not sure I want to talk to you either,” Oliver replied bluntly. His words hit me like a punch to the gut. My panic momentarily increased until he continued talking. "I’m torn between that or bending you over that table and fucking you hard and fast after giving you a good spanking.”

I froze for a beat, my cheeks flaming. Closing my eyes, I dropped my shoulders and released the air I’d been holding.

“I don’t need that right now. I need to talk to you and Noah before I make it worse.”

“Yes, obviously. This is not going to work if there’s no communication”

This.

I bit my lip, only to get chided by Oliver. “Don’t do that. You’ll bruise yourself.”

“I know time is not on our side now,” I continued, “but is there anywhere we can meet to… talk? The three of us?”

Oliver hummed in thought.

“Considering we need to hop on the tour bus early tomorrow, I suggest you get some good sleep tonight and we talk when we reach the hotel in London after lunch.”

I nodded again. I was defeated, so I would just do whatever they said. I just wanted to fix things.

With my eyes on the floor, I startled when I felt Oliver’s fingers on my cheek. He was eyeing me from under his eyelashes, a tiny furrow between his eyebrows.

“Are you sure you just want to talk?”

How could I tell him that every fiber of my body was screaming to be touched again by both their hands, by their fingers, their mouths…?

Maybe I didn’t need to. Soon enough, he was smirking knowingly, and he pulled gently at my lower lip with his thumb.

“That’s what I thought. But I’m not touching you again until you’re honest with me and Noah, so take the time you need to think. Whatever it is, I’ll respect your decision.”

“Will you?” I couldn’t help but ask, uncertainty coloring my tone.

It took him a moment to respond.

“Hell, no. You think you’re the only one terrified, doll?” he countered with a tilt of his head. “That makes threeof us. I’ve been thinking about you since before I knew you were coming to Europe with Noah and the band. I just assumed that whatever you had with Noah was restricted to the two of you even if you weren’t dating. But then you came back and you reached me with that pretty smile and you shared so much of yourself with me… and then, to make it worse, you let me touch you… and I knew I was doomed because I’d never get enough of you.”

“Oliver, I—” I began, my voice shaking, my vision getting blurry.

“No crying, come on,” he admonished. “You’re a big girl. You took both of us so well last night,” he reminded me, a flash of lust crossing his eyes. “You can manage this. We’ll get through it the three of us together, wherever it takes us, even if it’s on different paths.”

“I’m not sure I want us to go on different paths…” I confessed quietly, surprising not only him but myself.

He sighed, seeming relieved.

“That’s why I said to get a good night’s sleep and think about it. I’ll let Noah know we’ll be talking tomorrow as we reach London, okay?”

I swallowed my tears and nodded.

When I asked Oliver if I could travel with him in BMTH’s tour bus the next morning, of course he readily agreed. But what I didn’t expect was Noah’s unexpected appearance at seven in the morning on the same bus, seeking me out. He wasn’t as pissed as he had been when we talked right after Bad Omen’s show the night before, but he was definitely not happy that I was evading the band’s tour bus—evading him—.

I was still tired. Exhausted. Drained from a sleepless night. Despite Oliver’s assurances that things would be sorted out, I was scared that Noah wouldn’t accept it, that he would never be okay with a relationship between the three of us, and that he would never forgive me.

That’s why when he appeared on BMTH’s bus, I simply sank onto the sofa when he instructed me to sit, and I let him settle next to me, his thigh and arm brushing mine. I was ready for the worst.

“I might be pissed at you,” he started saying, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around,” he stated. His gaze had softened as he looked at me, a hint of vulnerability peeking through his almond-shaped orbs. Our faces were barely inches away from each other. The fact that he smelled so good wasn’t helping the chaos going on in my head. “Or is it that you don’t want me?”

I frowned.

“You know I do,” I assured him. How could I ever stop wanting him? His brown eyes would always held me captive.

I considered that, if I got both of them, if I was just lucky enough, I would have those beautiful brown eyes and those mesmerizing green orbs gazing adoringly at me every day. Could I ask for more after that?

“I just made this whole situation so uncomfortable that I don’t know how to behave around you anymore,” I admitted, the weight of my mistakes heavy on my shoulders.

His hand found mine on my thigh. Noah clasped his fingers around mine in a comforting gesture.

“I’ll tell you how: be a good girl. I’m angry at you, but it’s nothing that won’t be solved after we talk with Oli and you… get punished.” A smirk tugged at the corner of his thin lips.

I could only sigh and sink myself deeper onto the seat. What did that even mean?

“Come back to our bus,” he said. When I took a while to answer, his grip on my hand tightened and he pleaded, “please?”

How am I supposed to resist the puppy eyes?

“All right,” I relented.

I stood up, only to be met with Oliver’s figure standing not far from us, frame leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his broad chest.

“We should have hired another bus, huh?”

Noah raised an eyebrow and after a couple of seconds snorted, shaking his head as he placed a hand at my back, nudging me forward.

“One for the three of us,” Oliver mused, his eyes eyeing my casual outfit and lingering on my chest for a little longer with a suggestive glint, as if he could see through. “Just imagine how much fun we would have had on our way to the big city.”

I looked between him and Noah, blinking. I was missing something there, some understanding between the two of them that I was not a part of.

It was at that moment, with the chill of the January morning creeping in through the cracks of the bus and the look the boys shared with each other that I realized that maybe, very maybe, I had been wrong all along, but… could there really be a chance that... things would work out between Noah, Oliver, and me?

Ignoring the racing beat of my heart and the wave of relief and joy that suddenly seeped through me, with a newly found bravery I said, “May I remind you that despite the distraction I’m being, you’re here to work, both of you?” I wanted to sound rational, and I was, but of course they found it amusing.

“You can remind us later,” Oliver said, leaning over me to peck me on the cheek.

“Get going,” Noah indicated, his tone firm yet affectionate. “I’ll be there in a minute. Nick and Matt are playing Elden Ring. Tell them to hand over the controllers.”

I hesitated for a moment, glancing between the two of them. Then Noah put a hand on Oliver’s shoulder and squeezed, both their eyes on me, as if trying to send a reassurance to the apprehension taking hold of every nerve on my body.

Not long after 2pm, we arrived in London, its iconic skyline piercing the sky much like the needle of anticipation jabbing at my insides as I awaited the moment of being alone with Oliver and Noah in a hotel room again.

Our stay in the city was scheduled for three days. Under normal circumstances, I would have been looking forward to my free time to explore the city’s most wonderful streets and charming corners. However, other than the work-related stuff, nothing was going as planned, starting with the fact that I found myself not dreading to explore the city at all. My thoughts were consumed by the desire to explore something else —two men’s tattooed bodies, the seas of their skin, every imperfection and scar…

I followed the Bad Omens’ crew into the lobby of the InterContinental next to the O2 Arena, pulling at my suitcase with one hand and typing a couple of texts to my brother while Matt handled the check-in at the reception desk. I waited for him to get the hotel card keys and hand mine, but he never approached me.

I looked at him, confusion all over my face as I slid my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and saw him the rest of the guys head to the elevators on the left side of the lobby.

I was about to call out to him when I noticed that Noah was still beside me, a few steps behind me.

“Where’s my room key?” I asked.

Noah raised a hand, displaying a card.

Despite his towering height, with the backpack slung over his shoulders, I always thought he resembled a little kid.

“Oliver wants us to share a room,” he informed me evenly.

“What?” I sputtered, taken aback.

Oliver and the rest of the band were not there yet. They had an interview in some radio station and the bus had dropped them off at the location before reaching the hotel, so they wouldn’t be checking in until later.

“We’ll talk there”, Noah clarified. “If you want to have a room for yourself after that we’ll make sure you get one. It’s not a big deal.”

Truth be told, I hoped I didn’t have to get one. I dreaded sleeping between their warm bodies again, perhaps indefinitely. I knew that I was dreaming too much, but it was all I could cling to while I waited for the talk.

During the elevator ride, I buried myself in my phone again, ignoring Noah’s presence on the other side and trying my damnest hard to block memories from last year’s tour when Noah had nearly fucked me against the elevator walls in some hotel in Las Vegas before we could make it to his hotel room.

When the door of the suite opened after Noah swiped Oliver’s card on the reader, I gasped at the dimensions of the room. We were welcomed by a spacious common area, complete with a sofa, a dining table, and a massive TV that we were not going to use. Passing through white French doors, we were met with the bedroom. The pièce de resistance? The king-sized bed positioned in front of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the Thames. All I could suddenly think about was… probably the same Noah was thinking as our eyes met after they’d landed on the huge bed.

I could have felt embarrassed. Instead, somehow, I managed to offer him a sweet smile that he reciprocated.

In silence, we began to unpack, though I refrained from unpacking too much, considering that the veredict of our current situation was still to be decided.

Noah retrieved some of his electronics from his backpack and returned from the common area to find me standing by the large windows in the bedroom, looking down at the river.

“Why don’t you take a nap?” He suggested, his eyes betraying his concern. “You look like you haven’t been sleeping properly.”

I sighed. “No, I haven’t.”

“Sleep,” he urged gently.

“Are you staying?” I inquired, looking in his eyes in need of reassurance.

“Yes.” Of course, his eyes said.

We stared at each other. When the emotions grew too big, I removed the distance between us and stood on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck in a tight hug.

He hugged me back, sinking his face in the crook of my neck, and the gesture felt like a soothing balm. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or strip him off his clothes.

It must have been the same for him because I felt him tensing after the hug went on for too long. When he pulled away, he adjusted his pants before I managed to take a quick look at the spot. Guilty.

He urged me to rest for a while again. Oliver wouldn’t take long, he said.

As sleep claimed me, I found solace in the thought of waking up to both of them in the room.

Their voices reached my dreams, coaxing me awake.

I stirred in the bed, stretching my muscles before lifting my head from the comfortable pillows and looking over my shoulder, towards the origin of the sound. The doors to the bedroom were slightly ajar, and I could see their silhouettes through the open space. Noah was seated at the table with a cup of coffee cradled in his hands while Oliver leaned in close, practically with his ass on the table as he talked to Noah, his thigh very close to the hand Noah was holding the cup of coffee with. Oliver had another one in his hand. They spoke slowly, softly, as if they were lifelong confidants. I lingered in the quiet, watching them, taking advantage of the fact that they hadn't noticed I was awake. I was captivated by the way Oliver would occasionally smile at him, and how Noah's eyes would sparkle.

I sat up in bed as a surge of warmth flooded my senses. Before revealing myself, I hurried to the bathroom on the opposite side of the bedroom.

When I emerged, their voices had died away, and I could hear them moving about the room.

With hesitant steps, I opened the French doors, my eyes falling first on one man and then on the other.

"Hi," I said in a slurred voice.

Oliver was pouring hot water from the kettle into another cup and Noah was hanging one of his winter jackets in the wardrobe by the entrance.

“Hi there, sleeping beauty,” Oliver greeted.

I accepted the cup of tea he offered and thanked him with a shy smile as I brought the cup to my lips, making sure it wasn’t too hot. Lemon tea.

“Are you okay?” Noah asked with a frown, getting closer to lift my chin with two fingers and scrutinize my face. “Your cheeks are flushed.”

“It must have been the heating in the room,” I explained, gesturing towards the bedroom.

The answer satisfied him for he nodded, his features relaxing.

“Do you want to sit down?” He asked.

I instantly shook my head.

“I will if I need to, but I rather stand while I sort this out,” I said. Both of them shared a look and locked their gazes with me a second after. “I don’t want to drag it out any longer,” I said, gulping down the next sip of the tea.

“Alright,” Oliver did sit down on the sofa, facing me.

Noah took a seat next to him.

Great. Now it feels like I’m back at uni, about to start my thesis defense.

While Oliver reclined comfortably against the sofa cushions, his arm casually draped over the sofa’s back, he nearly touched Noah, who was leaned forward, his arms resting on his thighs, hands clasped together.

Green and brown eyes were fixed intently on me.

I moistened my lips and hesitated for a moment before speaking. I didn’t know where to start, and I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I steadied myself against the TV furniture.

“I left because I didn’t want to,” I began.

Of course my answer elicited raised eyebrows from both.

“What I mean to say is…” I averted my gaze momentarily, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt as good as I did when I woke up,” I explained. “Despite… the ache between my legs, I was sure that I wanted that every next morning, and I realized it wasn’t right. I couldn’t be having such thoughts. This,” I gestured between me and them, “is not normal.”

I waited for them to interject, but they didn’t. Their silence encouraging me to press on.

“After our night together, I thought about everything else that happened before that, and a voice in my head told me that it had all been a mistake: sleeping with you,” I said to Oliver. His features morphed into ones of pain and then, defeat, “and then dragging you,” I said to Noah, “into this without having sorted out first what was going on between us. I didn’t want to fuck up any of our relationships; the friendship between you two, and the one I had with each of you. On top of that, we’re in the middle of a tour and I can’t help but feel that I’m a burden and a stupid girl for dragging both of you into this mess. And then…”

“Then, what?” Noah pressed; his eyes suddenly alight. He could sense what I was about to get into. He could sense it very well, and instead of the expression I had expected from him, —the look of fear—, he seemed to be… excited?

“Then I focused on what I was feeling, on what I feel and…” I took a deep breath, gathering the courage. “I want you both. I’m sorry for what this means, but I don’t want to lie or hide it. After I took on your offer of sleeping with you, I thought that once it was done, nothing would change, or that whatever pleasure I was seeking would be satisfied, that we would have fun… but it wasn’t just that, and things did change. I had all day to think and to come to terms with my feelings. After spending the night with you, I can safely say that I want more. Not just sex. I want more of you, of both of you. Anything you want to give me. I’ll take everything, the good and the bad. I just… need you like I never thought I would, and I’m sorry for it.”

As I finished my confession and realized how much I had needed to hear my own voice say it, I couldn’t bear to meet their eyes. The pounding of my heart drowned out any other sound.

There was a minute of silence that stretched painfully, each passing second amplifying my discomfort. I wished the ground would swallow me whole. That was the most excruciating minute of my life.

“First of all, fuck normal,” Oliver said. “Second, yes, this is a mess, but I fucking love this mess if it means I get to have you at the end of the day. I want you vocal and naked,” his words were a firm statement. “That doesn’t seem too hard to me, does it?” His gaze shifted to Noah, the question also directed at him. “I also told you last night that my feelings for you have been more than just those of a friend since a while now. Did you hurt me by sleeping with me and Noah and leaving in the morning? Yes, you did. Do I resent you for it? No. We’re here talking things out like fucking mature adults. I only expect you not to make that a habit, otherwise we will have problems. As for everything else concerned,” he shook his head and raised his hands, “I had my time to think about it, too. And I felt fucking fantastic as I fell asleep next to you two.” His eyes landed on Noah again, who wore a mix of guilt and satisfaction on his face.

“Noah?” I mumbled his name with a sense of urgency and fear.

“Tell her,” Oliver ordered him, his voice suddenly demanding. “Tell her those damned three words, man. You’ve waited long enough. Don’t make me kick your arse.”

Noah hesitated, his eyes darting from Oliver to the floor then to me and all over again.

“I love you,” he confessed with his brown eyes boring into mine with a vulnerability that I had never seen before. “I’ve been in love with you for longer than I care to admit.”

“He isn’t the only one that does, doll,” Oliver added, his voice resolute yet tender.

That was not what I had expected at all.

Yet, I fell to my knees.

Immediately, Noah and Oliver rose from the sofa, coming to me, hand trying to grab me to get me back up.

“Hey, hey. What is this?” Oliver asked.

“Come on, no need for…” Noah started saying.

But as I fumbled with the zipper of Noah’s jeans, confusion clouded their expressions as they froze, realization dawning in their eyes.

“What are you doing?” Noah asked, his Adam’s apple bobbing with difficulty.

“Showing you how much I love you both, too,” the words slipped from my lips as my hands moved instinctively, pulling down Noah’s jeans and swiftly unbuttoning Oliver’s, “and starting to repay you for my mistake of leaving the bed without talking to you. I won’t do it again, I promise. Just… I want this to work.”

“It will,” Oliver affirmed, “as long as we keep communicating with each other,” confidence dripping from his lips.

Beneath my touch, I could feel him growing aroused, hard. I glanced at Noah from my kneeling position.

“I was worried that I had fucked everything up by making you share me with Oliver,” I told him honestly.

“You didn’t make me do anything,” he replied firmly. “I’m a grown man. I make my own decisions. Besides, I wouldn’t have agreed to share you with anyone unless I was certain that the other person cherished and valued you like a goddess.”

“Noah and I have already talked about it. We’re on board with this, baby,” Oliver added.

My heart was going to explode, but I felt a pang of frustration at how ahead they were on this and how behind I felt.

“Why is it that you two always have these talks before the three of us are lone?" I grumbled; my frustration evident. I pulled down Noah’s boxers to free his erection. He let out a sigh of relief.

“We would’ve had this conversation as a trio in the morning if you hadn’t disappeared,” he interjected, already breathless, his focus wavering.

He had a point.

“Moving forward with this,” Oliver continued, “means you’ll accept your punishment tonight. Are you ok with that?”

“Yes, you can punish me,” I replied as I slid down his underwear. Oh, the view in front of me. A sight to behold. “I accept my punishment; you can do whatever you want to and with me as long as I get to have both of you.”

“Those are big words,” Noah remarked. “Are you sure you’ll be able to take it?” His hips pressed forward. I wrapped the fingers of my right hand around his shaft while reaching for Oliver’s cock with my left.

Their synchronized moans were music to my ears.

“I can take both of you,” I asserted confidently with my chin up. Hadn’t I proved it already? I tugged at them, drawing two beautiful, restrained groans from both. “So yes, I’m sure.”

“Oh, the kitten is feisty,” Oliver sang. “What should we do about it, Noah?”

“Open your mouth,” Noah instructed to me, his voice husky with desire. “Show us how vocal you’re going to be from now on, and then we’ll decide what to do with you next.”

And that I did.

Not even ten minutes later, I was cleaning the last remnants of Oliver’s and Noah’s release from the corner of my lips with the back of two fingers, still reeling from the intoxicating taste of them.

Oliver lay sprawled on the sofa, one hand pressed against his forehead, his pants still unbuttoned.

“My soul has left my body,” he mumbled weakly.

With Oliver’s words hung in the air, I could still feel the ghost of Noah’s hand on the back of my head, his fingers grazing my hair gently before guiding me towards him, whispering a restrained ‘good girl’ as I took him whole. I could still taste Oliver’s release in the back of my throat, accompanied by the memory of his passionate wail as his legs trembled with the intensity of his orgasm.

I rose from where I’d been kneeling, steadying myself with a hand on the nearest chair as I still felt dizzy. Despite my spinning head, I fought back a laugh at Oliver’s comment. It hadn’t been my intention to leave them drained before the show.

“I’m not sure how I’m going to perform tonight,” Oliver admitted with a wry smile, his exhaustion evident.

Whoops.

“That was a killer blowjob, baby,” Noah’s voice cut through the air from the main bedroom of the suite as he emerged from the bathroom, a wet face towel in hand, pants on and glorious cock tucked away. Before heading towards his suitcase, he planted a kiss on my lips. “You okay, man?” he inquired, addressing Oliver over his shoulder.

“I need a minute,” he replied.

Turned out he needed five. After pouring myself a glass of juice from a bottle I found on the mini fridge, I offered one to Oliver, who accepted gratefully. Noah declined, opting for water.

“I should head to the venue,” Noah announced as he checked his phone. “I have a couple of messages from Folio. They’re already there.”

“I should head there, too,” Oliver said, finally standing up.

“I will stay,” I interjected, earning their attention as they collected their things, “at least for a while. I need to get some work done on the MacBook, but I’ll make sure to be there on time for the shows,” I explained with a smile.

Oliver nodded and headed towards the bathroom while Noah placed his suitcase on a bench and retrieved the Adidas boots he wore during the show.

“I’ll see you in an hour, then?” Noah asked.

“I’ll ask Matt to let me join him in the sound deck.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” he replied.

He approached me, sliding his iPhone into his pocket before stopping right in front of me. I looked up at him, expectantly. He moved the hair away of my face with tender fingers and bent down to kiss me ever so slowly. I couldn’t recall having been kissed by Noah like that ever before, so I melted in his arms.

I heard him whisper the three magic words against my lips, a hint of shyness in his tone, but he said it nonetheless, and I had to remind myself that this wasn’t a dream.

“I love you, too,” I whispered back.

I didn’t miss the way his smile lighted up his face as the withdrew from our embrace. My body instantly missed his touch, his warmth, his scent.

“Do I look like a just experienced a mind-blowing orgasm?” Oliver asked from the bathroom door, drawing a circle with a finger in the air near his face.

“Yeah, you do,” I responded with a smile and an apologetic expression, “but it just makes you look more delicious. Perfect for the show.”

He laughed, dropping his head, perhaps feeling a bit shy?

“You’re impossible,” he muttered, standing in front of me.

He cupped my face and kissed me. His kiss was deeper, more intense, harder than the one I’d just shared with Noah. I loved it just as much, realizing that from that moment onwards I couldn’t bear to live without either of those kisses.

“I love you,” he said. I was going to reply that I did, too, when his words brought a rush of dizziness to my head. “No touching yourself until tonight, are we clear?”

“We haven’t decided yet if we’re letting you come,” Noah added from the door, before stepping out into the hallway.

“One thing is for sure: you’re in for a few spankings; you’re getting tied up and we’re going to edge you for a good while until we’re satisfied with your punishment for leaving the bed yesterday morning and not talking to us.”

Oh dear.

“Great,” I muttered.

“No rolling your eyes. Be good,” Oliver instructed, pointing a finger at me.

He grabbed his phone and wallet from the dining table, and with a mischievous grin, he closed the door behind him, disappearing with Noah from my view.

Two seconds later, I let myself collapse onto the bed, closing my eyes with a smirk of satisfaction on my lips, the whole sentiment etched on my face. Nighttime couldn’t come soon enough.

My heart swelled with pride as I watched them from the center of the arena, Noah’s and Oliver’s figures tiny in the distance but looming on the screens flanking the stage, commanding the attention of thousands and stirring a fervent response. Watching them lead the crowd together in ‘Antivist’ was astonishing. I was so proud of them. Of us, actually. Every time the stage lights fell on them and illuminated them, I felt as if the universe was repeating to me over and over again that those two men were mine, and that I was theirs.

It was hard to believe that forty-eight hours ago, things had been so different. After the events that my conversation with Noah had led to, I had been flooded with insecurity and fear, and a voice in my head had come very close to making me believe that I had screwed up so badly that I should turn around and go home because never everwould Noah and Oliver give in to being in a polyamorous relationship. This would never work, the voice said, and if part of me believed it would, it was because I had read too many books.

But look and behold, reality often surpasses fiction. And watching them perform, knowing that they loved me and that we were going to give this a chance, that we were committed to making this work, I felt complete. I was no longer alone to grasp with my conflicted thoughts and emotions. We were three, now.

These two men, with their music and their love, were mine to cherish and adore.

The rough and complicated start we had endured seemed like a distant memory, and it was just overshadowed by the promise of bright and beautiful days to come.

By the time the clock struck midnight, I was already a whimpering, trembling mess splayed on the bed. My throat parched, breaths ragged, and legs shaking. I had just been denied my fourth orgasm, and even though I would be lying if I said I hated it, I found myself in a state of overwhelming overstimulation.

Lost in a haze, I couldn’t even discern which one of them was between my legs.

As soon as we came back from the venue, I was promptly tied up and blindfolded. Again. Noah and Oliver decided to take turns swapping their place between my legs and working me up, first slowly, gentle laps of their tongues and soft rubs from their fingers inside of me, then fastening their pace, heating me up, driving me to insanity every single time they took me to the edge and then withdrew, leaving me whining their names and crying for release, their wicked laughs the only thing I could hear amidst my own desperation.

In my delirium, I really couldn’t tell anymore whose tongue was on me, whose teeth was nibling at my pebbled nipples.

“Feeling punished enough, love?” Oliver asked from the foot of the bed, giving himself away after one last flick of his tongue that wasn’t enough to make me fall off the edge. Damn him.

I couldn’t manage a single word to tell him how I felt.

Noah’s fingers moved the hair away from my face. Despite wearing a blindfold, I doubted I could have bear to open my eyes.

“I think that’s enough,” he said.

“Getting softer, huh?” Oliver teased him.

“Nah, she’s shaking. I don’t want her to pass out on us if we keep going. Let her have it.”

“You said it.”

Their decision to show mercy on me brought a rush of sensation that threatened to engulf me entirely.

My climax racked through my body as a hurricane, so violent that my back arched from the mattress. If not for the silky rope binding my wrists to the headboard, I might have pulled Oliver’s hair so hard in my ecstasy that I’d have hurt him.

With sweet words whispered against my hair, Noah’s praised me, encouraging me through my orgasm, but as I began to descend from my high, he withdrew from the bed. Oliver’s mouth left my swollen center, gifting me two loving kisses on the inside of my right thigh. Then he took a seat beside me on the mattress, replacing Noah.

“That one was for me,” Oliver said. “Now you’re going to give Noah his.”

I couldn’t grasp my mind at what he meant, but soon enough the hands that had clasped my thighs and kept me grounded on the bed were replaced by Noah’s. I felt him kneeling between my legs again. I gasped.

“Another one?” I managed to breathe out. My mind had still not come down from my euphoric high and they expected me to…? “I—I don’t think I ca—"

“You will, kitten,” Noah asserted, draping an arm across my hip and stomach to keep me restricted to the mattress. “I know you. You’re going to give me mine.” It was an order.

Two nights ago, I had damned them both for denying me release in their mouths. Yet now, despite this being a punishment and my exhaustion, their actions felt like a reward. I resolved not to complain, no matter how powerless and lost I felt.

I remained silent, holding my breath, as Noah slid his slender fingers in, easily navigating through my so embarrassing slickness. He quickly found that sweet spot that I loved having touched, and he started licking me, once, twice, thrice, from my entrance to my clit, drawing circles around my clit until the pleasure was so high that it tore a scream from the depths of my being.

“Don’t hold back,” I heard Oliver say, his hand on my hair, stroking it.

For a second, I lost my all sense of rationality. I was sure I was going to pass out with the vibrations from Noah’s voice in my core as he mumbled things and his lips touched my lower lips. My first orgasm cascaded into a second and suddenly, I was enveloped in white, a sharp headache gripping me as I came undone. Fortunately, it passed quickly, and I savored every other second of my long-awaited double release.

Gradually, Noah’s licks and gentle sucking relented, his hands releasing the grip on me and moving to my thighs, where he started rubbing his palms up and down, trying to soothe down my shaking. Oliver peppered kisses across my chest and sternum, nibbling at my chin with his stubble tickling my skin

“Kitten?” That was Noah. He kissed the side of my knee. “Are you back with us?”

As I searched for the answer within my mind, Oliver removed the blindfold and untied me, his touch soothing too as he massaged my wrists and kissed them reverently. Though I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, a mumble escaped my lips as I shifted my head against the pillow. It would take some time for sensation to return to my body, but I was fully aware of the satisfaction that ran through my veins and straight to my heart, and every other feeling that accompanied it.

The first night together, I had felt safe and cherished. This time, I felt utterly loved, and despite my mistakes, I was sure that I deserved this. I deserved these two men, and I was willing to give them my best self.

“Love,” Oliver insisted, his touch soft as he lifted my chin, “open your eyes. Are you alright? Was it too much?”

“Baby,” before I could muster the answer, Noah settled down on my other side, his unattended erection nudging against my side. He placed his palm on my tummy, and the warmth of his body seeped into my skin.

“I’m fine,” I replied with a smile, peering at both of them through blurry vision. I placed a hand on my forehead. “I got a headrush,” I admitted, “but I’m okay.”

The worried look on their faces persisted. Oliver glanced down at my still trembling legs. “I’ll get you something to drink before we continue. Let Noah take care of you. I’ll be right back.”

He returned within a minute. I had shifted onto my stomach, and Noah was inspecting the light bruises on my buttocks, his fingers tracing the reddened skin with a frown.

“Shit, that’s a nasty mark,” Oliver mentioned, eyeing two small spots turning purple on my left cheek. He set a glass of orange juice on the bedside table. “Did we spank you too hard?”

I shook my head. “I bruise too easily. Don’t worry. I enjoyed it.”

“You’ll tell us if we ever go beyond boundaries, right?” Noah pressed.

“Yes, I will.”

“Good girl,” Noah praised. “Have some juice,” he instructed, gesturing towards the glass as he stood up from the bed to position himself next to Oliver.

Both eyed me with special attention as I sat on the bed and sipped the juice, my body feeling grateful for the light sugar intake. After draining the glass, I licked my lips, and my smirk grew as I noticed how hard his erections were, and both seemed to be pointing straight at me.

How wonderful that they were mine and mine alone.

Noah gestured for me to approach him with a finger, his gaze narrowing with anticipation. I crawled on the bed towards him, swaying my hips playfully, enjoying how desired I was. With my hair falling around me, I positioned myself on all fours at the edge of the bed, Noah lifting my chin to capture my lips in a hungry kiss. Meanwhile, Oliver’s hand returned to my backside, caressing it before his fingers slipped between my cheeks, eliciting a moan from me.

“Would you put them on us?” he asked a few seconds later.

Noah released me, and suddenly Oliver’s hand was presenting two square silver packages to me.

Sitting back on my heels, I tore open the first package and rolled the condom down onto Noah’s cock, his posture steady and unwavering, watching my hand’s work as a hawk. I repeated the action with Oliver. The familiarity of the task felt oddly comforting despite it being our first time. I hoped fervently that this would become a nightly ritual from now on.

“Ready for us, baby?”

Instead of answering, I straightened my back and slowly parted my thighs, revealing the warmest, most inviting part of myself to them once more.

My boys exchanged a glance with a raised eyebrow. In an instant, Noah lifted me up, prompting me to wrap my legs around his waist as he wasted no time in nudging my entrance with the head of his dick and in one slow trust filling me up.

I was still adjusting to the wonderful sensation of Noah being inside of me when Oliver’s hands found their way to my shoulders from behind, his touch gentle as he traced a path down my sides until they settled near Noah’s hands on my butt.

I felt the tip of his cock against my backside, and his voice softened as he urged me not to tense. It was easy for him to say, yet I was surprised at how easy I welcomed both of them inside of me, as if my own body had been waiting for it since the first time it experienced this hot burst of desire, pleasure, and… love.

Five minutes after, they were moving inside me in perfect synchronization, a relentless rhythm that drove me to the brink of ecstasy and beyond, my breasts rubbing against Noah's inked pecs, my back against Oliver's hard tattooed chest. Their alternating thrusts, a mix of withdrawal and surging in, had me moaning their names repeatedly, making me feel full of ecstasy and wild pleasure. Whenever Noah withdrew in a slow, teasing friction, Oliver would go all the way in.

This experience was sublime, and I didn’t ever want it to end.

"I wish I could show you exactly what it feels like to fuck you while Noah fucks you,” Oliver growled into my ear, his words sending shivers down my spine that intensified as he nibbled at my earlobe with his vampire teeth.

At some point, with Oliver’s mouth nibling at my shoulders, clavicle, and neck, I opened my eyes and reached for Noah’s silver necklace. I could see the restraint in his eyes. I pulled at the accessory and kissed him fiercely for a long minute before releasing him. Then, I turned to Oliver, wrapping my hand around his neck and capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss that ended with me biting his lower plump lip, making him growl like a lion against my mouth and eliciting a laugh from me.

“Touch yourself,” Noah said. He was close, so close, and Oliver wasn’t far behind. I was dying to feel them both tense and pulsate inside me. I was dying.

Closing my eyes once more, I let my head fall back to rest on Oliver’s shoulder and slid my hand down to my clit. Their arms held me securely while they stood, anchoring me in the midst of the overwhelming pleasure. I squeezed myself around them. When I heard their moans and growls intensify, I knew I had them.

Joining their cries of release, I followed them down to the depths of bliss.

About twenty minutes later, I was lying in bed again. Only this time I had Oliver and Noah on either side of me, spoiling me and giving me cuddles and kisses.

After the passionate crescendo we had caused while climaxing, the mood in the room was now quiet, and a lovely silence enveloped us as we looked at each other with our eyes shining and our bodies sated and spent, we felt at heaven.

Both of their hands roamed up and down my body. Noah's fingers traced delicate lines between my breasts and down to my navel, while Oliver's traced my temple and his lips pressed tender little kisses just below my ear and on my jawline.

It was just perfect, and the only thing that topped it was the way I sensed Noah and Oliver glance at each other from time to time, as if something new had awakened in them as well. Or maybe it had been there for a while and was finally coming to light. Whatever it was, it was obvious that all three of us were enjoying it, that all three of us were happy and wanted to be there.

That was all that mattered.

It was past eight in the morning when I stirred from sleep.

My head was resting on Oliver’s chest, with Noah’s warmth enveloping me from behind, his arm draped over my waist and his palm resting flat against my stomach. The sheets had become a tangled mess at the foot of the bed, leaving our naked bodies exposed in a blissful picture. When I wriggled my feet and they brushed both Noah and Oliver’s legs, I smiled at the sight.

However, the urge to visit the bathroom was urging me to leave the bed. I could revel in his scene again in just a couple of minutes.

But as I began to shift away from Noah and Oliver’s embrace, preparing to swing my left leg over Oliver’s broad body, a hand clasped my wrist, halting my movements.

Turning my head, I saw Oliver, his eyes still closed, his face peaceful in slumber with Noah’s sleepy face now so close to his own. Oliver’s grip tightened on my wrist as I spoke.

“I’m just going to the bathroom,” I whispered.

“I’ve heard that before,” he replied, his beautiful green eyes meeting mine as he opened them. “I’m going with you.”

“But…” It shattered my heart to think that he still doubted me; that he still feared that I might not be there if he closed his eyes again and woke up a while later. “I’m not going to leave. I promised,” I reminded him with a serious expression. “I just need to empty my bladder. Just give me a minute?”

“A minute. Then I’m coming in,” he concluded, stretching his arms, I couldn’t help but steal a quick look at his morning naked figure. Glorious. “We have shower sex pending so…”

My eyes quickly went back to his. A smirk played on his lips as his words trailed off.

That sounded… incredibly appealing and undeniably hot.

To hell with sleep.

“Are you sure you’re up for it? Aren’t you tired?” I inquired. With the shows and the sex, both might be beyond exhausted, but a voice in my head said, please don’t be.

“Are you?” chimed in another cheeky voice from the other side of the bed.

Okay, they were both up and ready. Just my luck. Hell yes.

I hurried into the bathroom with a giggle escaping my lips as I knew that they were both staring at my ass as I ran off from the bed.

Five minutes later, Oliver pulled me with him inside of the tiled shower. I shivered as the water touched my skin, though it didn't take long to get used to the temperature and I appreciated the feeling of being under the warm water and everything that followed. Oliver's hands took the reins and, with some shampoo in his hands, he began to wash my hair, massaging my scalp and thus earning my first moan of the day.

"You guys started without me?" Noah asked, walking into the bathroom, and letting himself and his perfectly erect, hard cock be seen.

"Not really," I replied, reaching out to take his hand and pull him closer to me. Noah greeted me with a good smooch, his cock stroking my lower belly while Oliver's fingers went on to massage my shoulders and a delicious spot just below my neck and at the beginning of my spine.

Never in my wildest fantasies had I ever imagined I would experience a morning like this, soaking wet all over with two fucking gorgeous men washing my hair, massaging my shoulders, my breasts, and making sure the marks on my ass and other parts of my body from their nibbling the night before were nothing to be alarmed about, treating me to my first orgasm of the morning with Noah's long slender fingers as Oliver's mouth played with my nipples and he gulped down the clean water falling from the shower jet.

I found that washing and rinsing them also filled me with a tender pleasure. They behaved like two good, but mischievous, children, waiting their turn as I washed their hair and scrubbed their bodies, leaving kisses here and there after rubbing their skin too hard and earning me their beautiful moans, which echoed between the bathroom walls. Their jokes also added to the joy; they took advantage of the fact that they were both fucking tall to make me stand on my tiptoes every time I tried to rub the top of their heads. Then they had the audacity to ask if there was a problem every time I mumbled a curse between my teeth. Whenever I reprimanded one and the other for laughing at me, it only earned me a playful slap on my ass.

Eventually, the space was filled with our casual talks, then laughter, and finally, moaning.

When they entered me again under the warm spray of the shower, I was sure that I was in love to the hilt with both of them, and that I never wanted to stop hearing their laughter and seeing their smiles in the mornings ever again.

So, as I tensed around them both and their grunts mixed with my moans, I surrendered to Oliver and Noah. Their fingers tightened on my thighs, where traces of the night before lingered, and I happily followed them into the abyss.

EPILOGUE COMING SOON

Taglist:

#noah sebastian x reader #oliver sykes x reader #bad omens #bmth #bring me the horizon #noah sebastian #oliver sykes #oliver sykes x you #noah sebastian x you #bad omens cult #oli sykes #oli sykes x reader #oli sykes x you #oli sykes x noah sebastian #oliver sykes x noah sebastian #oliver sykes x noah sebastian x reader

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stqr-grl · 11 months

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╭﹕💜｡♡・touch tank

୨୧⸝⸝﹕synopsis — there’s just something about sharing such intimate moments with you that makes reo so weak in the knees.﹐

୨୧⸝⸝﹕warnings — f!reader, mutual pining[?, questionable at best], fwb, petnames[love, angel, pretty, etc.], reo being down bad[as per usual], porn with little to no plot, couch sex, intimate + unprotected sex, praise, oral[f!receiving], fingering, dry humping, little bit of cum eating. all characters are 18+, mdni!﹐

୨୧⸝⸝﹕wc — 1k.﹐

୨୧⸝⸝﹕notes — i need a reo soo bad HELLO.﹐

upon first arrival you’d questioned if it was really a good idea to cancel the plans you had with your friends for what was probably just gonna be a quick hookup with reo but he promised it’d only be a movie tonight so you agreed, besides you knew this is where you’d rather be than anywhere else in this moment.

splayed out in the couch, limbs tangled with his as you shared quick, wet kisses as his greedy hands traveled your body trying to feel every part of you that he could gain access too while a movie that had be long forgotten played aimlessly in the background.

the feeling of his lips against yours always feeling so intoxicating, his lips moving in such a gentle dance with yours as you ran your hands through his purple locks of hair, trying to use it as leverage to print him closer than what he already was.

a sigh leaves his pink and puffy lips as he parts from you, large hands holding your waist against his as you languidly grind against his. “love,” the nickname always makes your heart swell with something so inexplicable especially with that voice groggy voice, “we don’t have to go any further than this.”

your eyes open with such a dreamy looked captured within then and the sight alone makes reo’s heart stop as he takes your pretty features in, not missing a single change in your expression.

“no, i want too– can we keep going, please?” you can feel the way his breath hitches slightly at your request before he dives into you for another series of kisses, theses ones being much more drawn out as his hand moves to cup your face.

nights like these with reo are usually a bit more rushed than this — always hurried to have your bare skin flush against his as hands grasped at the plush of your body, more than ready to take you but tonight felt different than all those other nights.

things were so slow and almost borderline passionate, the slow, wet kisses and his thumb rubbing gentle circles into the exposed skin of your waist while the other pushed your shirt up and over your head.

his pink, kiss swollen lips pull away from yours, those lilac eyes of his lingering your body taking in every possible feature that he could have missed any other time he’s had you like this. you look absolutely stunning like this; atop of of him, chest heaving slightly as the look of lust took over your eyes.

it almost makes you feel shy, the way he’s sitting here and admiring you before shifting you from his and onto the opposite side of the couch and onto your back, climbing atop of you.

“god, y’so pretty,” —he places another kiss to your lips as he discarded your shorts and anything else underneath— “so perfect.” he mumbles, slipping himself between your thighs and pressing a kiss to your heat, making you whine.

“reo, you’re teasing,” you mutter, attempting to squirm in your spot beneath him as he molds his hands into your thighs with and amount of force that would leave little bruises in the morning.

“‘m sorry princess, y’gotta work w’me for a second.” he whispers, spreading your sticky folds and using the flat of his tongue to lick a line up your cunt, wasting no time to practically start drinking your juices, ripping a moan of his name from you easily.

he groans at the taste of you, the vibrations making you whimper and pull at his hair to bring him closer. “sound so pretty when you moan for me like that.” he groans, tongue running circles around your hole as he used two fingers to push into your gummy walls that have no problem clamping down on his thick digits.

god to finally be able to take you properly in this moment felt like a blessing to the man, having you calling his name with such a pleased look in your face was just heavenly.

sure, he’d seen you in this sense plenty of times before but it felt oh so different this time — neither of you just being here for the sex like usual, but here for the company of each other.

“oh fuckk, reo–” you gasp, chest heaving as your eyes roll ever so slightly, “i need more, please– need you to make me cum,” you cry, his hips bucked into the cushion of the couch beneath him at your pleads.

he happily obliges to your request, quickening the pace of his fingers and sucking your sensitive bundle of nerves into his mouth, a loud cry erupting from your chest as you arch off the couch, babbling for more as he happily gives with almost little to no thought of himself in the moment- only you and your pleasure being on the forefront of his mind.

his eyes peer up at you, admiring the pure bliss on your face, your expression alone could have him cum on the cum on the spot — a needy noise escaping his lips as he ruts into the cushions once but his fingers and tongue never falter, desperate to bring you to the high that your crave so badly.

“so fucking perfect, princess, wanna feel this pretty pussy cum around my fingers,” he fought back the series of whimpers that threatened to spill from his lips as he spoke, feeling your fingers clamp around his fingers.

“shit! like that, keep doing that–!” you blurt, eyes crossed, feeling that tight knot inside you coming close to snapping. “keep going, please, you’re doing such a good job for me– shit!” you squeak, at the sudden wave of release that washes over you, body freezing with a slight shake.

it’s not too long after that a whiney groan leaves his lips, a sticky white substance staining his boxers and leaving a forming wet patch in its wake but he pays little to no mind of it, instead focusing on the little white trail slipping from your cunt.

reo wastes no time using his tongue to push into your sensitive hole, collecting any cum that hadn’t gotten on his fingers, graciously swallowing it before pulling away from you, holding his two digits in front of your agape mouth.

“here, have a taste angel.”

2023 ©stqr-grl.

#╭❕﹕ ˚₊ sealed #╭🤍﹕ ˚₊ love reo #blue lock smut #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x reader smut #bllk smut #reo mikage smut #reo x reader #reo x reader smut #reo mikage #blue lock reo #bllk reo #reo smut

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 9 months

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Anonymous: Jack with his daughter; maybe she's 3-4, sick and just wants daddy to cuddle. she's so inconsolable momma has to drive her to the studio or wherever he is, even tho she loves momma cuddles too. and if he can't leave he ends up holding her thru the industry meeting/dinner, even the studio..

My first Dad!Jack fic!!

Brooklyn was still in your belly the first time Jack played her one of his songs. He would save all of his unreleased tracks just for her, holding his headphones up to your belly, waiting for a kick from her to indicate whether he should go with it or not. Even before she was born, she was a producer in the making. When she was old enough to hold her head up, Jack took her everywhere with him. She was a regular in the studio, Jack bouncing her in the carrier while he was in the recording booth, or Urban playing peek-a-boo with her while Jack was in a meeting. They were attached at the hip, and you loved every moment of it. Seeing Jack be the father he had always wanted to be was one of the greatest joys of your life.

Brooklyn had woken up one morning with a fever and stuffy nose, and whenever she was sick, all she wanted was to be held and cuddled by Jack. This particular morning, he had to go to the studio to finish up his album, and Brooklyn was in a terrible mood when she realized he wasn’t here to spend the day with her. You had tried everything, a warm bath to help get her fever down, snuggles on the couch while you watched Ms. Rachel, but nothing seemed to do the trick. “Mama, I want Daddy.” She wined to you as you stroked her hair. “I know baby, Daddy will be back soon.” You reassurance wasn’t enough, and the combination of being sick and missing her dad was too much. She immediately started crying, her nose running, and her cheeks turning red. “Brooklyn, baby, it’s okay. Shhhh.” You pulled her into your lap as she leaned into you and repeatedly asked for Jack. Her cries were breaking your heart, but you knew Jack needed this time to focus on his album.

You had been rocking her for about 10 minutes to no avail when your phone rang. “Hey, baby. How is Brooklyn?” he asked. You could barely hear him over the loud music in the background. “Hey, I can’t really hear you. Where are you?” You heard a door close on the other end of the line. “Sorry, Angel was playing me some new beats. I’m not happy with the last three songs so we’re starting over.” He stopped talking when he heard Brooklyn crying in the background. “What’s wrong with my girl?” You sighed, realizing you weren’t going to be able to hide it anymore. You were at your wits end. “She has been inconsolable Jack, just asking for you. I didn’t want to say anything because I know you’re working right now. Don’t worry I’ve got it.” You held your breath, knowing what he was going to say next. “Bring her to the studio, please.” You looked down at Brooklyn in your arms, her eyes finally starting to flutter close. “It’s okay, she sleeping.” As if she heard you, her eyes immediately shot open and her crying continued, this time even louder. “Y/N, it’s okay. Can you bring her by please?” You started to speak, but stopped yourself, knowing there was no use in arguing with him. No matter how busy he was, Jack always put his family first, and everyone he worked with was just going to have to deal with it.

Jack met you at the door when you arrived at the studio downtown. He grabbed the diaper bag from you, and picked Brooklyn out of her car seat, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Brooklyn!” Urban cheered when he saw Jack walk through the door with her in his arms. “Dude, she’s sleeping.” Jack swung around so Urban could see that her eyes were shut. “Sorry. Brooklyn!” he whispered, making you giggle. “Where are those headphones I bought for her?” Jack looked around the control panel, finding the earphones that would help protect her tiny ears. He gently placed them on her ears, before sitting down. He adjusted her in his lap, wiping the tears that were continuing to fall down her face, even in her sleep. “Can you run the track back again, there was something there I didn’t like.”

#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow x reader #jackharlow #jack harlow concepts #jackman harlow #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow imagine

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neon-lights-and-glitter · 1 year

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I Should Be Missing You

Summary- You and Jack deal with the consequences of falling out of love while you are married.

Word Count- 3.8k

Warnings- Divorce

Inspired by various songs from the EP Rolling Up The Welcome Mat by Kelsea Ballerini

You and Jack had been married for 4 years and had been together for 6 years. At one point your relationship was exciting, you loved each other, but without either of you realizing it, you both fell out of love. There were a lot of small arguments, some bigger than others.

“Jack, you know how I feel, I’ve told you before. I hate when you just disappear all weekend.” You said, you had been arguing for a while now and this was an argument you had often.

“I’m not just disappearing, I’m working. Then I come home to you. I don’t know what else I can do.” Jack argued.

“I’m fucking working too, but I still make time to text you.” You said, you had at least 15 texts to Jack that were currently still sitting unread even though Jack had been home for at least a day. “You make it seem like I’m asking for something impossible. I’m not even asking for you to take 15 minutes to call me. I’m asking for you to take 30 seconds to respond to a text message. Or at least read it.”

“I’m sorry I’m busy, I told you that you could come with me.” Jack defended himself.

“I have my own career to focus on, I was out of town all weekend working too. Do you even know where I was?” You asked and Jack froze. He knew you told him, but he couldn’t remember where you were.

“I barely know where I was this weekend.” Jack tried to play it off as a joke, laughing to himself but you glared at him.

“I can’t fucking believe you.” You said shaking your head before you turned to walk out of the room.

“Don’t leave.” Jack begged, causing you to stop walking, but you kept your back to him. “Do you even know where I was this weekend?” Jack challenged you.

“California and Georgia. You flew to Los Angeles to work on your album and then you flew to Atlanta for a meeting.” You said and Jack sighed.

You both stood in silence for a moment before you finally turned to face Jack, holding your tears back.

“I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one trying to make this marriage work.” You told him.

“C’mon, it’s late, let’s go to bed and we can talk about this tomorrow.” Jack suggested, and you sighed, you were over fighting with Jack, so you agreed.

“Fine.” You sighed and turned to walk to your bedroom before Jack could stop you.

“You know I love you right?” Jack asked and you sighed, looking down at your hands for a second before looking back up at Jack.

“I love you too.” You told him, but neither of you felt that way anymore.

You and Jack got ready for bed in silence, like you had been for a while, only speaking when you got into bed.

“I know I’ve been a shitty husband, I’m sorry.” Jack apologized.

“I just want to feel like you still want to be married to me, sometimes I don’t feel that way anymore.” You admitted, even though if you were honest, there were times you didn’t want to be married to Jack anymore.

You couldn’t specifically pinpoint a time where your feelings towards Jack changed, neither of you did anything wrong. Neither of you cheated, or did anything to purposely ruin your relationship, you both had just grew to become different people then you were when you got married.

“I do still want to be married to you.” Jack lied without realizing it. “Let’s talk about it in the morning, okay?” Jack suggested again and you nodded.

“Goodnight, I love you.” You smiled softly at Jack.

“Goodnight, I love you too baby.” Jack said, kissing you softly.

You both fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms but when you woke up you had your backs to each other.

You woke up before Jack, which wasn’t uncommon. You had enough time to make and eat breakfast before Jack woke up, making his way downstairs. You were sitting on the couch, some random tv show playing in the background, you turned your head as soon as you heard Jack’s footsteps.

“Good morning baby.” You said, noticing Jack was already dressed for the day.

“Good morning.” Jack said, walking towards you. “I’m going to go to the studio.” Jack told you and you looked at him confused.

“Oh, okay. I made breakfast if you want to eat before you leave.” You told him.

“Thanks, I’m just going to order something to the studio.” Jack told you and you nodded softly.

“Okay. We need to talk about last night though when you get back.” You said and Jack nodded.

“Yeah, we will.” Jack agreed, even though deep down you both knew you wouldn’t.

“Love you, be safe, do you know when you’ll be home?” You asked.

“Love you too.” Jack said, approaching you and pressing a kiss on the top of your head. “I will. Probably a couple hours. I’ll call you during our break for lunch, I’ll probably leave shortly after that.” He never did.

“Okay, I’ll see you later.” You said as Jack walked out the door.

This wasn’t uncommon for you two, after a fight Jack typically ended up at the studio all day for the next couple of days, and when he was home you made sure to distract yourself in any way you could.

You sat on the couch as you looked over to the picture you and Jack had hung on the wall as soon as you bought the house you were currently living in, which caused arguments on its own.

You and Jack never actually agreed on the house, you just got tired of arguing so you gave in and bought the house he wanted. Jack wanted a house with plenty of room for as many kids as possible, but you only wanted a couple kids, not near as many as Jack wanted. The compromise that you came to was Jack got the house he wanted, you could get a dog, there was more than enough space.

The picture on the wall though, was picture of you two on your wedding day, surrounded by your friends and family. Luckily you both agreed on hanging that picture specifically, but sometimes it seemed like that was the only thing you had agreed on.

You picked up the wedding photo album that laid on the coffee table, it was a gift from Urban when you two came home from your honeymoon. You flipped through some of the pages, stopping at a picture of just the two of you, laughing, probably at some joke Jack made, his arm around you. You two were genuinely happy in the photo.

If you would have told the couple in the photo, what their marriage would have turned into, neither of them would have believed you.

You closed the photo album, setting it back where you got it from before leaning back on the couch and pulling your knees to your chest. You let yourself cry. You never thought you would consider ending your marriage to Jack, but here you were. Sobbing on the couch while he distracted himself with work.

It was a couple hours later, Jack was finally taking a break at the studio. At least he followed through with his word and called you, often he didn’t.

“Hey baby, what are you doing?” Jack asked, though he wasn’t fully paying attention.

“I’m taking a break from some work and I’m looking at some dogs that are at the shelter.” You told Jack.

“Is it really a good idea for us to get a dog right now? I mean we’re both so busy and everything.” Jack said.

“We have friends and family who’ve said they will watch the dog when we’re out of town. Plus, you were talking the other day about wanting to have kids soon, if we can handle kids, then we can handle a dog.” You said and Jack sighed.

“Yeah, sure, I guess. What kind of dog were you looking at?” Jack asked, putting his phone on speaker, and setting it down before he started pressing some buttons on the sound board.

“I was looking at two, ones a poodle, and the other is a lab. I can make an appointment for us to go meet them later this afternoon once you get home.” You said.

“About that, I think I’m going to be at the studio all night. You can go by yourself though if you want to.” Jack suggested.

“Jack, you’re always at the studio all day. You’re barely home anymore. You’ve literally been at the studio more days than not for the past 3 months.” You said.

“It’s just that we’re in the middle of something, if we don’t finish it today, we won’t ever get it done.” Jack argued, some of the people in the room looking at Jack confused. Jack waved his hand, telling them to be quiet.

“That’s fine I guess.” You sighed. “I’ll go see them by myself.” You told Jack.

“Okay, well I’ll see you tonight.” Jack said.

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jack said before hanging up the phone.

“We’ve barely done anything today.” Clay said once he saw Jack hang up.

“I’ve been working on some lyrics by myself I wanted to record.” Jack said.

“You’ve been calling last minute studio sessions almost every day.” Ace said.

“I’ve been coming up with last minute ideas.” Jack tried to deflect the questions.

“You’re not wearing your wedding ring.” Urban pointed out. “You haven’t been most of the time I see you anymore unless you’re with Y/N. You’re not cheating on her right?” Urban asked and Jack rolled his eyes.

“I come here to not get fucking questioned.” Jack said underneath his breath. “I forgot my ring, it’s not a big deal, I’m not cheating, I come to the studio and then go home.”

“You didn’t have your wedding ring last weekend on the trip.” Urban said.

“Like you haven’t forgotten something before a trip.” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Something as important as a wedding ring? No, I haven’t.” Urban said.

“Y/N wears hers all the time. It’s okay. We’re fine.” Jack said, getting up and walking into the recording booth just so everyone would stop asking him questions. Everyone dropped the topic of you after that.

You ended up going to the animal shelter, more as a way to take your mind off of things and get out of the house. You didn’t end up adopting either of the dogs, because you didn’t want to make a decision without Jack.

Even though you decided to get dinner on your way home, you still got home hours before Jack did. Jack didn’t get home until almost midnight. You had tried to stay up, but like most nights you fell asleep before Jack got home.

Jack walked into the living room, seeing you asleep on the couch. He sighed softly, before walking over to you.

“Baby.” Jack said quietly, brushing a strand of hair back that fell in front of your face.

“Hm?” You shifted slightly.

“I’m home, do you want to go to sleep?” Jack asked, and you nodded softly, opening your eyes, and sitting up.

“Yeah.” You said, letting out a yawn.

“I’m sorry I was gone so long.” Jack apologized, and you sighed softly.

“You’re always gone all day.” You said, standing up.

“I know.” Jack sighed. “Once I get this album done, I’ll be able to be home more.” Jack told you.

“But then you’ll have to promote it, and then you’ll go on tour.” You said.

“We’ll figure it out when the time comes for that okay?” Jack said and you nodded.

“Let’s just go to bed.” You told Jack and he nodded, following you to the bedroom, and just like the night before you got ready in silence, only saying I love you and good night before you fell asleep in each other’s arms before waking up facing away from each other.

In the following days you and Jack never ended up talking about your argument, that wasn’t uncommon, you never did. One of you just found something to distract yourself with so you didn’t have to talk.

You were right though, as soon as Jack’s album was done, he went right into promoting it, and went on tour. You couldn’t just up and leave to go with him, you had your own career you also wanted to focus on.

Jack had been on tour for about a month and a half when he was supposed to have a break to come home for a week. You had only seen each other on non-consistent facetime calls where you weren’t even sure if Jack was paying attention, always seeming to be distracted by something else that ended up forcing the call to end.

“When does your flight land?” You asked Jack, he was supposed to fly home tomorrow.

“My flight?” Jack asked, confused.

“Yeah, you’re coming home for your break, aren’t you?” You asked.

“Uhh, no. Neelam scheduled some last-minute press stuff, so I’ll be staying here. She didn’t tell you?” Jack asked and you scoffed, you weren’t even sure what you should address first.

“Jack, I’m your wife, Neelam shouldn’t have to tell me anything. You should be the one telling me when you’re not going to be home.” You spoke.

“I know, I should, I just got busy and didn’t want to forget, so I asked her too. I’m sorry.” Jack apologized.

“Do you even want to come home?” You asked.

“Of course, I do, I miss you. You know I’m just trying to work as much as I can now so when we start a family I can stay home as long as possible.” Jack said, and if you believed that was true, you would have forgiven him, but you didn’t.

“I’m not sure I believe you anymore Jack. You’re always gone. I don’t even know the last time we both just spent the day with each other at home. I’m not saying it’s all your fault, I could take time off work too, but it seems like any time I do, you find some way to work yourself.” You said.

“If you want me to, I’ll cancel the press and come home.” Jack offered.

“I don’t want you to do it because I want you to. I want you to do it because you care about spending time with me.” You sighed.

“Let me see what I can do okay?” Jack asked.

“Okay.”

“I have to go, I love you.” Jack said.

“I love you too. I miss you.” You said, faking a smile for the facetime call.

“I miss you too, I’ll see what I can do about this week.” Jack said before hanging up.

You don’t know why you did, but you had some hope that Jack cared enough to come home, and the next morning you prepared just in case.

You knew his flight was supposed to come in in the morning, so you got up, made breakfast, and set out plates for the two of you. You sighed, picking up your phone and only seeing your usual good morning text. No text saying he left, landed, wasn’t going to make it, only a good morning.

You tried to call Jack, but it went straight to voicemail. He called you back about a half an hour later.

“Hey baby, did you need something?” Jack asked.

“Hey. I was just curious if you were coming home.” You said and you heard Jack sigh.

“No, I’m not going to be able to make it. I tried. Do you fly home tonight?” Jack asked.

“I flew in last night so that I would be home when you got here.” You said.

“Oh, yeah, that’s right, you were supposed to fly in before me.” Jack said.

“When’s your next break?” You asked.

“I think in a month. I’ll come home then I promise.” Jack said but you didn’t believe him anymore.

“Okay, I’ll see you then I guess.” You and Jack said goodbye before hanging up the phone.

As soon as you hung up the phone, you realized that for the first time, you didn’t really miss him. You didn’t miss Jack as much as you felt like you should.

Over the next week, all you got from Jack was good morning and good night texts, nothing in-between, but you didn’t send anything other then that either. You couldn’t help but keep up with Jack through him and Urban’s Instagram’s, which you saw absolutely no signs of him doing any sort of press. You saw him exploring the city he was in, which you couldn’t blame him, it looked like a beautiful place from what you saw.

You knew you could have offered to fly to Jack, since you had taken time from your career to make sure you were home, but you didn’t. It wasn’t even about missing Jack anymore, because at this point in your marriage, him being on tour and him being home weren’t very different. You just wanted to think that he was putting effort into your marriage. You hadn’t been putting as much effort into your marriage as you used to either though because normally you would have flown to him. You didn’t feel like you should have to do that anymore.

Over the next 3 weeks, the only thing keeping you up with what Jack was doing, was his Instagram. You kept up with your good morning and goodnight texts, but that was it. You had maybe facetimed him once a week since he didn’t come home for his break. You both gave up without realizing it, neither of you wanted to try to force something that clearly wasn’t there anymore.

You and Jack did make plans for you to fly out during his next couple days off, so you did. You had come to a conclusion that you never wanted to come to, and you decided you would rather tell Jack in person then over a FaceTime call.

You had been in town for almost a day when you and Jack were alone for the first time and not going to bed.

“Jack, can we talk?” You asked as you both stepped into your hotel room.

“You’re not going to go shopping with Neelam?” Jack asked and you shook your head, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Going shopping was your main reason to not be with Jack when you traveled with him.

“No, we need to talk. There’s something I need to tell you.” You said and Jack sat down next to you but left space between you two.

“Yeah, okay what is it?” He asked, looking over at you, giving you his full attention for the first time since you showed up.

“I don’t know an easy way to say this, I don’t think there is one, but I think we should get a divorce.” You told Jack, holding back your tears. Even though you didn’t feel like you loved Jack anymore, didn’t make the situation any easier for you.

“What?” Jack asked. “Why?”

“Jack, don’t pretend we both haven’t given up on this marriage. You can’t honestly try and tell me that you’ve been putting 100% into this marriage. I haven’t been either, I’m not putting all the blame on you.” You said and Jack sighed.

“I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you otherwise. I think we should talk about it first, but if that’s what you want, then I guess that’s fine.” Jack said.

“When was the last time we actually sat down and talked about an argument we had or something we disagreed on?” You asked.

“When we were in marriage counseling.” Jack said quietly, coming to the realization himself.

“It’s been 2 years since we were in marriage counseling, even when we were in marriage counseling the appointments were the only time we talked about anything. We both gave up along time ago. I didn’t want to admit that, and it took me awhile to admit that.” You said and Jack nodded softly.

“I guess maybe we did.” Jack sighed.

“I won’t start the process of anything until after your tour is over, but I just needed to tell you. I’m sorry.” You said, standing up from the bed. Jack didn’t say anything as you walked out of the room because you were right, he had given up a while ago.

Several months later and you and Jack were in the process of your divorce. You were moving out of your shared house. You and Jack had barely spoke since the night you told him you wanted a divorce, but Urban was helping you pack some things up. He had been a big support to you and to Jack during your divorce, never getting in the middle, but doing enough to show you he was there for both of you.

“Do you want this?” Urban asked, holding up your and Jack’s wedding photo album.

“Uh, just throw it in the box, I’ll figure out what to do with it later.” You said and Urban nodded, putting it in a box.

“You know you don’t have to keep it just because I gave it to you. If you want to get rid of it you can, I’ll even help you burn it.” Urban joked, making you laugh softly.

“I mean, it’s not like I can just throw away the fact that I was married to him. At one point we were happy, so it doesn’t hurt to keep some of the happy memories, even if they eventually turned into bad ones.” You said and Urban nodded.

“Yeah, that’s true.” Urban agreed. “Let’s take a break.” Urban said and you nodded, both making your way to the couch, turning on a random tv show.

“Thank you for all of this by the way. You didn’t have to help me at all.” You told him and Urban shrugged.

“I don’t mind helping a friend out, I know it’s been tough for you so it’s the least I can do.” Urban said and you nodded. You didn’t respond, you both just looked at each other for a moment and before either of you knew it, you were both leaning forward, connecting your lips with a kiss. You both deepened the kiss for a moment before you pulled away.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” You apologized almost immediately.

“Don’t apologize. I kissed you too, but just know that my goal in helping you out isn’t to kiss you.” Urban joked and you laughed softly.

“I know.” You smiled softly at him.

That was the first time you kissed someone since Jack, and it was also one of the first times you didn’t know where Jack was. You felt the last part of you that was still attached to Jack, move on.

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #Spotify

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lunathebee · 2 years

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Pairing: Jake Lockley x fem!reader

Warning: fluff, Jake being a softie but only for you, no mention of Steven-Marc-Khonsu, basically anything from MK, he is just a cab driver here.

A/n: I enjoy writing fic with a 3 part/act(?) structure more than I thought (even if it is a bit exhausting) so I'm gonna give Jake some love too. There will be 3 parts based on three different songs, each dedicated to a phase in the love life of you and Jake. This is part 1!

Summary: One look at you and Jake knows you're his soulmate in this life.

Jake sat in his car after pulling up in a small alley, his eyes were tired and bloodshot. After letting out a long sigh, he began to search for his beloved alcohol flask in the drawer, among with candy wrappers and some wrinkly dollars.

Jake hates people, and he hates having people in his car even more. They might ruin the expensive leather seats he loves so much, but now look at him, not even bothered anymore. "What a life, being a cab driver" Jake thinks to himself while taking a sip of vodka from the flask.

As pathetic as it sounded, it was still a job and he had bills to pay at the end of the day. Jake decided to turn on the radio and let his shoulder relax to whatever it could offer him, maybe traffic news or even commentary of a football show. Jake needed a good rest and he couldn't do that without something playing in the background, it reminded him of how he used to let the TV play and sleep on the couch when he was a kid.

''Do you live in New York City

Or a couple towns away?''

To Jake's surprised, an angelic voice begin to sing, he waste no time moving around a bit to find the perfect position, ready to let the music lures him to sleep.

''Wherever you are, I'd jump in my car

Just to see you today

Will I meet you at a party?

Sit next to you on a plane?

Maybe I already know you and love you

But will fall in love some day''

That sentence stuck in Jake's mind. The thought of falling in love with someone kept him awake, unable to sleep.

Truth is, Jake has never known what love is, he has passed it aside because love can't get him a nice meal, or a full tank of gas. For Jake, love is something only rich people can afford, it comes with diamonds and jewelry, and all the shiny things that he could only dream of.

Truth is, Jake is too poor for love.

"Dear soulmate

Do you think of me? 'Cause I do"

'Soulmate, huh? It'd be nice to have one.' Jake thinks to himself, his eyelids getting heavier and heavier, until unknowingly, he has fallen asleep to the song in the background.

Ever since that day, the song has become something special in Jake's life. It helps him with his sleep and more importantly, it gives him the hope of having a soulmate in his already shitty life.

Being a traditional man, he made the song into a cassette and kept it safe under the secret drawer, only pulling it out when he needed to feel at peace or when he was alone. But today is different.

===☾︎ ☾︎ ☾︎===

"Could you put on some music while driving, sir? Thank you :)" Y/n asked the cab driver while getting into the car; she was slightly annoyed with the amount of newspapers scattered around the seat, but it's too late now and Y/n can't risk waiting for another cab alone.

While you're busy putting the newspaper aside to sit comfortably, Jake has been watching you from the rearview mirror with curiosity.

He expected a drunk girl from a party or an overworked guy who was simply too tired to take the bus home for his final ride of the day, but it appears to be... you. Jake doesn't know exactly what word he can choose to describe you, but somehow the smile on your face brings him comfort, just like the song he loves so much.

"Any song would be okay, yes?" Jake asked, eyes still focused on the road. He heard a quick "yes" behind him and that's all it took for Jake to pull out the cassette.

"Dear soulmate

Do you think of me? 'Cause I do

...

Will you make me butter toast?

Perhaps a morning roast

When I wake up and I'm sad?"

Once again, the melody he has heard a thousand times played. But the singer is not the only angelic voice Jake can hear now; he can hear your voice too. You're singing along to the song, not just any song, but his special one.

Jake wants to ask more about it, but he decided to keep his mouth shut. You seem really tired, and maybe asking about your singing would make the whole situation feel awkward.

In the blink of an eye, Jake has already driven you back to your home safely. You thanked him and even tipped him more than he asked for (which made Jake feel very thankful).

The story of how Jake has become a somewhat personal driver for Y/n is unknown, but whenever and wherever she needs him, he will be there. Y/n see Jake as a grumpy, overprotective guy, and in return, Jake sees Y/n as an innocent, needing to be protected girl.

The more they learn about each other, the closer they become, from strangers to friends, and finally... lovers.♡

#Spotify #marvel moon knight #moon knight x reader #moon knight fluff #moon knight imagine #jake lockley x y/n #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #moonkight #oscar isaac #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x y/n #marc spector x you #jake lockley x reader

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toobz-drawz · 9 months

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I'd love a George Harrison x fem!Reader one-shot where he plays her a song he's working on, but he isn't sure it's any good. She tells him to keep working on it because he's too talented to just give up, especially when she thinks it sounds great. The song turns out to be "My Sweet Lord." Thank you so much in advance!

My Kinda Lover

1970 George Harrison x Reader

•Warnings: Nothing really but fluff. •Summary: One early morning you’re let into your boyfriends studio to listen to a new song he’s been making and here’s what you have to say.. •Characters:4,601 •Additional Information: I’m sorry if this is not quite good, I made this at 11 pm and I’m very tired. Anyway, thanks for letting this be my first Beatles fanfic!

It was barely 7 am, you were in the kitchen making breakfast for the two of you, while george was in his makeshift studio working on a new album.

You started getting the table ready, placing down a couple of fried eggs on George’s plate, a jug of freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee in the middle of the small table with glasses near it, and you yourself would be having a egg sandwich that morning.

Once everything was ready you called for george to come down for breakfast.

While you were just getting yourself comfortable in your seat, george walked into the dinning room. “Morning, darling.” He said with a smile on his face, as he walked over to you, leaning over and giving your cheek a small kiss. “Morning sweetheart, I made your favorite.” He sat down in his chair, grabbing the coffee press to pour himself a cup of coffee. “I see, thank you very much, but before I start eating can I ask you of something?” You grabbed your sandwich, about to bite into it before stopping yourself to answer, “Ask away, dear.” George looked up at you, “Could you stop by the studio when you’re done with breakfast? I have a song I’ve been working on and I think I need your opinion on it, I’m just not quite sure if should keep it or leave it.” You agreed that you would stop by and help, honestly you loved when he asked you to listen to his music because that gave you a chance to actually see and hear the magic happen in front of you. Plus you knew it made him happy knowing that you enjoyed his music, so it was basically a win win.

After breakfast and cleaning up after you two, you headed to George’s studio in the house, you just couldn’t wait for him to blow your socks right off.

You knocked on the door, giving it a couple of seconds before hearing George saying you could come in. You’d turn the door knob and push the door open, the first thing you saw was George sitting down in a chair with his guitar on his lap, and a music stand with a piece of paper clipped to it in front of him. “Make yourself comfortable, I promise this will be quick.” You walked in, and sat down beside him. “Play whenever you’re ready.” You gave him a small smile, watching him let out a small sigh, before beginning to play ‘My Sweet Lord’, looking down here and there but mostly keeping his gaze on the piece of paper in front of him, as he laid out the new song just for you to hear.

The more he played, the more it felt as if the atmosphere in the room changed, in the background you’d hear the backing tracks of all sorts of other instruments that held up the main guitar chorus and pretty soon George’s voice. “My sweet lord..mm-my lord.” You sat there in awe, you couldn’t help but just pat your thigh and tap your feet on the ground, as you listened to the song. You say this a lot to him but his singing seriously was the most angelic thing you’ve ever heard compared to everyone else’s.

Not long the song was over, George looked over to you, seeing your eyes sparkle, and your face adorned with large smile. He just couldn’t help with laugh, “So..is there anything you wanna say about any part of the song that might’ve made you think there was something not quiet right with it or I should put a certain part in a new key?” You sat there for a moment, you thought it was good the way it was as of now, but knowing that George was a perfectionist and would never give up no matter what, even if it was the smallest thing in the world he’d still go over it twenty more times making sure it was just right before sending it off, you made sure to pick your words wisely. “I wish to say it’s good as it is as of now, but I know you well enough and I want you to keep working on it. I know along the way you’ll come up with a new little thing or two you’ll want to add to the song, so please just take your time until you think it’s good enough to be the final product. But for now that’s all I have to say really.” For the rest of the day George really stuck to that comment, thinking about you saying it over and over again. He sat in that studio looking over the lyrics, changing and re-adding things. Here and there he’d give himself a break, go outside give himself a moment to bask in everything before heading back inside with a head full of wonders and new creative ideas.

After all the mixing, recording, playing, a week later he’d do the same thing, ask you to go to the studio to play you what he called the finish product with a name finally, which happened to be ‘My Sweet Lord’, but this time when you heard it you called it a master piece ready to be welcomed into the world with open arms.

#the Beatles #the Beatles x Reader #george harrison #george harrison x reader

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lokai-fi · 2 years

Text

First of Many

Ateez Head Canon - The first time he says he loves you

:) sobbing over Hongjoong and Yunho :)

~Masterlist~

Hongjoong

are we surprised?

it’s in his studio

you’re leaning against his desk with his headphones on listening to his latest piece

while he’s watching you is when he realizes

you’ve been there through it all

all the highs and lows

through the laughter and the tears

everything

once the song is over and you pull the headphones off he’s pulling you into his lap

he’s slightly overwhelmed by the sudden realization

but the way you kiss him makes his heart settle and beat faster at the same time

He says it the moment you start to pull away

“I love you” spoken onto your lips before he dives in for another kiss

Seonghwa

you’re opening the curtains in his room while he’s just admiring you from the bed

you’re talking but he’s too lost in your early morning glow to understand what you’re saying

it’s only when you turn around and question his cheeky smile do you get your answer

“I love you” just spills from his lips

and he’s up and in front of you in an instant

listing out all the reasons he loves you between kisses

Yunho

curled up in bed together

no amount of blankets or pillows could quite match the comfort that Yunho gives

he’s got you wrapped in this arms

an old disney classic playing softly in the background

but the two of you are just so content

you hear him sigh as you start to drift off

smiling at the gentleness of his lips on your forehead

You hear the softest “I love you”

followed by another kiss

he’s already asleep by the time you fully recognize what he’s said but that’s okay

you can return the sentiment in the morning

Yeosang

he’s known for a long time that he’s loved you

he’s been trying to find the right moment to tell you but it’s hard

because every moment with you feels like the perfect moment

but he’s always held back because what if there was a better moment?

you two will be doing the dishes one night and you’ll know something’s up

Yeosang’s just too quiet this evening

You’ll ask if everything’s okay

He’ll say no and fumble around for a bit before he grabs your shoulders so you can face him

He’s said it a million different ways in his head but none of them feel good enough

“I just want you to know that I love you more than anything.”

San

i firmly believe San will just be so content and comfortable around you that he genuinely hasn’t realized that he hasn’t told you he loves you

he thinks it all the time and his friends are convinced he’s already told you with how he talks about you

hell, you’re saved in his phone as ‘My Love’ with a stupid amount of heart emojis

so when he does say it for the first times it’s so casual

like you handed him his coat and he’s all

“Thanks babe, I love you!”

yet he’s so surprised when you’re so surprised

Mingi

wanted to be careful about when he said it

more so because he wanted to make sure it was right

and that he was 100% certain

and the moment he decides he’s sure

the man radiates confidence

which also means that the moment you open the door Mingi just blurts it out

not even a hello

just, “I love you, so much”

it might be a surprise but don’t leave him hanging for too long

Wooyoung

you two have been playing the ‘I really really like you’ game for a while now

everyone’s sick of your shit

just confess already

but you two are in it for the long haul, one of you is bound to break first

...

it’s Wooyoung

you had come over because he wasn’t feeling good and now you’re cooking him his favorite food?

he thinks you’re an absolute angel

wraps his arms around your waist and watches what your making with his chin on your shoulder

just mutters out, “I love you, you know”

you know, you know very well

Jongho

RO-MAN-TIC

say it for the people in the back

Jongho has been planning this moment out since the thought popped into his head that he loved you

Roses, dinner at your favorite restaurant, that one dress you’d been admiring for months

oh yes, this man goes all out for you

because he knows you’ll ask what all this is for

he’ll take your hand and give you a quick kiss

letting you know it’s “Just because I love you”

#hongjoong #Seonghwa #Yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons #x reader #ateez oneshot

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honeybeewhereartthee · 6 months

Text

PINK KKOMAS 143

Spoiler for my stories

It seems your the only one who can see his hair and eyes changing as you two went to look for blood and NN since you find nothing too talk about. You saw Blood, Baby Blue, NN and Kiseki playing tea party on top of a big rock.

Baby blue, pour smiles as he look at everyone while he seems to question if his guest want some tea yet his words cannot be understood by anyone.

"I'll have some tea." Kiseki smiles back and him being responsive and nice to play with Baby Blue made blood smile as he watch the happy Little spider pour some cola on the cup. Kiseki sips the tea to only taste cola.

The young Inkling stared at the cola in surprise, he was taken back. Why was the tea a cola? Through he quickly sip the cola

"why what a delicious tea!" The young Inkling smiles, making the little spider quite happy, he just finish pouring some for blood who take a sip. The domain master chuckle as he pat his little buddy head. "Your big brother will get mad if you drink too much cola again."

In the background, Kiseki cannot help but sweat drop when he realize his new playmate he found one day littering around this kkoma world, chasing butterflies is not allowed to drink cola like how his not allowed by his dad to consume too much sugar or uncle MS confiscating his cakes to just eat it himself.

"!!!" Little spider realize that Blood might rat him out to his brother suddenly become teary and pouting and seems to complain something. "I'm not going to tell him. Besides if he doesn't learn, then it's clearly tea." The pink spider chuckle evilly making the little spider clap his hand in Glee and said something again. It made blood stop smiling.

Suddenly he have a close eyes fake smile as he take bite of the cake.

"I'm going to tell your older brother you have big liters of cola this week and have eaten whole cake just this morning. :))" If seems whatever little blue said it annoyed blood very much. The little spider suddenly was in tears again and trying to be cute enough to make blood to change his mind.

"I'm not your brother or a suit of clover or Diamond your spell will never work on me." Blood says as he refuse to amend on the wishes of little spider. The little one keep saying anything before his golden eyes meet yours. He suddenly beam and utter something that made blood agreed to not tell him off and forgive him for that world he said earlier. "Fine." -blood.

You and Hallow arrive on the button of the big rock before you held hallow hand and teleported you two besides the table. You realize the reason you did not hear NN speaking as his chained on the chair and have a tape over his mouth.

"hanii!!" You smiles as you remove the cape. "Omae..." But it seems you remove it too fast and it hurt a bit or surprised him. "are you still mad cause I tried to make a hole to that new admirer of yours?" He did realize you might be mad again but how come you can be mad on him when he can't be mad at you attracting bees again.

He sigh when he look at your face. He can't stay angry. Maybe to others and himself but he can't do that to you. He long realize

He can't be jealous since that's controlling even so he knows all those timeline. He barely spend time with you as the one who held your hand and says all those million I love you was his other haft or that annoying rabbit. He was on the backstage pulling the strings so you will not leave the stage even so he cannot be an actor in the same stage until he finally allowed.

He remembers that he wish to go back and take his place. He wasn't allowed as he made deal with morpho exchange for making a way to bring you back. It was sad and lonely. He wish for many years to be in bee place or even to be able to stood besides you in the same stage but as morpho called him "guardian angel" because those beings can never be seen but they are always there to make sure your safe.

"hanii...?" You saw tears fall from his eyes. It seems in a little child body made him so emotional unstable, he was mick when blood made him seat in the tea party with those other two children. It's not that he can't escape. He can but he thought about a lot of things in those moment.

He thought of that stupid hallow answer how it's hateful to think about. He can never think of that. Because if he did the same choice you won't be here. You will be forgotten like you wish too. You will disappear like you never existed in his life and it made him feel sick and depress.

He would rather watch you from a far and have those forbidden time to go to his and your au to spend time and give you sweet you love so much even so you don't know it's him till the time is right. He can deal with those bastard kissing you cause in the rule of fae.

...

"why are you so worried.. you and her are fae." It was one of those time he question if you still love him or you fallen for aira too. It seems morpho guardian have those rare moment he will console NN. "Fae will only love one person in their whole existence. Isn't that why the rabbit will do anything for them and for you too go this far? They too are like that." He added before giving him a blank 30cm plush.

"Here, think of them and the doll will look like them. You can comfort yourself with that and don't be loud. " The butterfly proceed to leave as NN hugs the blank doll that slowly change into a plush of you.

He hug it as he watch you smile in the gem that show what's currently happening in the timeline where you cried while holding bee's body after Aira went mad for the first time. You slowly restart the timeline hugging bee.

"I'm sorry hanii... I promise not to let this happened... I love you... I'm sorry I did not predict this..." He heard you whisper before the timeline restarts.

NN unconscious hugs the plush tighter. "I'm weak too... I love you omae..." He wish he can wipe your tears away everytime you cried or smile at you when you smile even in the most stupid thing but he can't.

...

The angel continue to cry and cry like a child as he let the emotion he keep inside

"WHY ... WHY... W-WHY AM I BAD TOO BE THIS JEALOUS WHEN I JUST STARTED T-TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU AGAIN..." he cried out as big string of tears keep falling down like water falls. "I cannot do anything when that bastard bunny kiss you before! I can only watch! I cannot do anything when you held that stupid fake hand instead of me for thousand of times! " He exclaim making the others shocked by how loud he is. Also his confession.

You hug him as he quickly held onto you, hugging you tightly as tears continue to fall from his eyes.

"I CANT ... I can't...be the one to make vows with you those whole time... Nor wipe your tears when your sad and breaking down..." His voice seems to become weak.

"but it's ok .. I keep my vows to protect you and make you keep yours to stay till time will end." He mumble. His teary eyes that show his original shade suddenly turn back to the dark one with x on his pupil as he glared at you.

"I will rather be a watcher, your guardian angel, than you disappearing and be forgotten by everyone or no God will stop me. I will destroy everything. Not just our world but this whole multiverse if you do the same charade as that." His voice seems to lace with venom as he give a promise he will keep.

He hugs you again with a sweet smile. As if he just don't threaten you again. "Hanii your so cute." You giggle as you hug him. Your indeed mad at him but his so cute and charming just now.

"faes are so crazy..." You heard blood comment to Little blue, hallow and Kiseki. 'they are different breed of lunatic when it comes with relationship. They all thought as they drink the cola and eat cake. Maybe they are odd too since they don't think much of it. Just normal Saturday tea party.

#pink kkomas

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joyfulambush · 2 years

Text

Some Slight Destiel BC We Deserve It

Context: Sam and Dean meet up with Cas for a case.

As the brothers opened the door, Dean’s emerald eyes widened as he came face to face with his favorite angel. Castiel and the police officer he was talking to turned around. Dean couldn’t help but blush a little as their eyes locked together. Cas gave him a small, soft smile, before turning to the woman in uniform.

The officer nodded respectfully to them. “Morning detectives.”

“Morning.” Sam responded, nodding back. “I’m detective Hines, this is detective O'Donnell.” He said, gesturing to Dean.

“Your partner told me you’d be coming.” She looked between the two of them, but one seemed distracted. Dean was eyeing the trenchcoat-less Cas like he was some sort of rare creature. “Everything alright, detective?”

Dean snapped out of his trance and gave the woman a polite smile. “Perfectly fine. Now, Our partner here said you had something to show us.”

“Yes, right this way.” The woman officer led the boys to the morgue, where a corpse of a man was waiting for them. Sam and the woman strolled up to the right side of the body, while Dean and Cas stayed to the left. “Here he is, Let me know if you have anything else.” She walks out the door, leaving the three of them with the body.

Cas began his inspection of the corpse, but stopped as he felt a hand wrap around his waist. He sighed and continued his search, but became distracted when he reached lower. The angel turned to Dean, who seemed lost in thought and was staring into the void. “Dean.”

“Hm?” He hummed, locking eyes with him.

“I’m trying to work.”

Dean finally realized what he was doing and retracted his hand. “Sorry.” He mumbled.

Cas returned to the officer with more questions, while Sam and Dean watched from afar. The taller brother smiled as he watched as Dean furrowed his brow. He clenched his fist harder as he saw the female officer giggling and giving Cas the look. His poor angel seemed completely oblivious to the girl’s advances. Dean decided to step in.

“Hey, babe.” Cas turned around to Dean’s lips connecting with his. The angel was taken back as his man wrapped his arm around his torso. Dean then looked at the woman, who was more than a little shocked. “We got everything we needed so we’ll be heading out.” His voice was so matter-of-factly, like he wasn’t just holding on to another man in the middle of the police station. This was so rare for Dean that Cas was left speechless. The blonde man took his brunet angel by the hand and led him out the door.

"Dean, did I do something?" He asked once outside the station.

"No." Dean gripped Cas' hand tighter, pulling his angel closer to him.

"What's up?" Sam walked right behind them. "Could you be jealous?" He teased the moose.

"Damnit, Sam. Just, shut up." Dean unlocked his car as everyone piled in. Cas sat behind Dean, placing a hand of his over the other's shoulder. Dean said nothing, but placed his hand over Cas'. He drove them all back to the hotel with music playing in the background.

#yes im still mad #creative writing #dialogue prompt #dialogue snippet #writing #writing prompt #writing snippet #supernatural #spn #deancas #spnfamily #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #dean and cas #supernatural fanfiction #we deserve better #let the gays be happy #unhappy fangirl

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looooooooomis · 3 years

Text

F I N A L G I R L | N I N E

You were his final girl. And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t n i n e | m u s c l e m e m o r y

masterlist here

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader word count: 6k (im so sorry) warnings: S M U T (18+!!!!!) murder, alcohol, booty play - we getting it all babies. we also get our stabby bf in this chapter so enjoy!!

Three days.

It had three fucking days since you’d left town for your cousin’s bachelorette and Billy was going stir crazy.

He’d never been an overly affectionate man. Cuddling, handholding, none of that was ever his go-to response to any woman he’d ever been with. It never felt comfortable, never quite felt right.

Until you came along.

Because when it came to you, Billy was puddy. He not only cuddled you, pulled you into his chest and held you against him, revelling in the smell of your shampoo as your breathing fell into a quiet tandem, but he craved for it. Any second he wasn’t touching you, he needed to be.

He thought about it constantly. About you constantly.

Whenever the two of you were out with friends, it was your touch he so desperately needed. At the movies, at a party, at the fucking mall, wherever you guys went where he had to put up a show for Sid, it was you he needed to feel.

So when you weren’t around, he felt that need bone-deep.

Even tonight, as he laid limply beside Sid in her bed as the two of them watched a movie he couldn’t bring himself to give two shits about, it was you on his mind. The feeling of you on his fingertips, the taste of you on the tip of his tongue.

He let his mind wander to just how fucking cute you looked in the morning. Bleary eyed and soft with your cheeks a little puffy and your hair a mess. It wasn’t as often as he’d liked but when he was able to wake up next to you those mornings, he relished in the way you managed to look so innocent after a night spent in sin. You were bold and brazen and hungry for him, a woman lit aflame with lust and desire, but you’d wake up time and time again looking like a literal angel.

Naturally, you never thought as much. You’d duck your head in the crook of his neck and bury your face from view as though he hadn’t already committed it to memory. I’m fucking ugly in the morning, Loomis, you’d always say. An unabashed lie, but he’d only pull you a little closer and hold you a little tighter in an attempt to make those fleeting seconds last just a stretch longer.

Fuck, he missed you.

It had only been three fucking days and every fibre of him needed to see you, touch you, taste you. You were muscle memory for him, at this point. He wanted nothing more for it to be you beside him right now, not Sidney. He wanted to lean over and kiss you, pull you against him and hold you against his chest until you lulled to sleep.

He wanted you.

Wholly wanted you. All to himself. Without the need to hide it from the rest of the world.

Which meant, despite his every plan, he needed to break it off with Sid. He knew it jeopardized everything but he’d have to make do with his plans having a hitch in them rather than the possibility of going another fucking day without you next to him.

“Sid,” his voice was low, hesitant. He’d thought about his every word all fucking day long but now that it was here, he was riffing. Any iota of a plan he’d worked on, any prepared speech, was gone the second he’d opened his mouth.

Sid’s head rolled to face him from the comfort of her own pillow. The innocent smile he got out of her was almost enough to make him feel guilty.

Almost, but not quite.

“I, uh,” he swallowed and broke eye contact. The popcorn ceiling of her bedroom was all he could focus on as the shitty movie blathered on in the background. “We’ve been together for a while now, right?”

That was definitely not the stellar start he was hoping for. Especially when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, that her smile only grew. Fuck.

“Yeah,” she rolled onto her side to face him. “Why?”

A slow sigh slipped out of his lips as he chewed on his lip. What fucking now? Now she was expecting good news. Happy news. News that definitely didn’t involve a fucking break up.

Biting the bullet, Billy rolled onto his side and faced her. “I just think—”

The sound of the house phone ringing cut him off. His mouth was quite literally opened with the next few words on the tip of his tongue as the loud landline continued to slice into the quietude of the house.

He blinked. “Is your dad going to get that or…?”

Sid glanced back at the door as the final ring was seemingly interrupted by Sidney’s father. Satisfied, she turned back around to face him and gently ran her fingers through his hair. “Looks like he got it,” she smiled. “Go on.”

Billy nodded and quietly cleared his throat. “Right, uh, listen Sid. I—”

“Sid!” Her father’s loud voice boomed from the bottom of the stairs. “It’s for you, it’s Tatum!”

It was taking everything inside of Billy not to lose it. With his nostrils flared in annoyance, he licked his lips and managed a tight smile at the brunette. “Go ahead.”

But Sidney, seemingly sensing the gravity of Billy’s words, hesitated. “You sure?”

With a quiet sigh, he rolled onto his back and nodded his head. “Yeah.”

Without missing a beat, Sid hopped out of bed and snatched up her phone. “Got it, dad!” She bellowed before quietly clearing her throat. “Tatum, what’s up?”

Irritation swelled in Billy’s chest as he continued to stare up at the ceiling as he mulled over his next few words. If he had any hope in continuing on with his plans of killing her, he had to make it a nice and clean friendly break-up. Something that wouldn’t break her trust. Something that would put the blame entirely on him and his own headspace so she wouldn’t freeze him out.

“What?” Sidney’s panicked voice sliced into his thoughts. Lulling his head in her direction, his brows puckered as he took in the expression riddling his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend’s face. Fear. Worry. Sheer panic. “Is she okay?”

Something in Billy’s gut twisted as Sid’s eyes found his from across the room. Something wasn’t right. He could feel it in his chest that something wasn’t right.

“What’s going on?” He mouthed, slowly sitting up.

She held a finger up as she listened to Tatum.

His anxiety only grew.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, gripping her stomach as she shook her head. “Is she awake?”

Billy’s panic was full blown now as he sat on the edge of Sidney’s bed. “What’s going on?” He tried again, his patience waning.

Let it be anyone else. Please let it be anyone fucking else other than…

“It’s Y/N,” Sid muttered, pulling her face away from the phone to answer his question. “She’s been in an accident.”

It was as though a bomb went off right there in Sidney’s room. A low hum reverberated around Billy’s skull as his worst fears came to life. His ears rang, a cold sweat broke out across his entire body and his skin felt prickly, as though he was going numb. Only he wasn’t. He could feel the very second his heart plummeted into his stomach as he pushed himself off of the bed.

“What?” He pushed out, voice thick. He blinked and the room spun. This couldn’t be fucking happening. “Is she okay? What happened?” When Sidney held up a finger in an attempt to hear Tatum better, something inside of him snapped. “Sidney, what the fuck happened?” His voice boomed, startling the girl in front of him.

But he didn’t care.

He couldn’t bring himself to care about anything else besides you.

“Tatum, we’ll meet you at the hospital, okay?” Sidney muttered, not bothering with a goodbye as she faced Billy head on. She ran a shaky hand through her bangs, and it was then that Billy saw the tears welling up in her brown eyes. “Tatum doesn’t know much,” she explained, her voice trembled with each word. “She was driving home from her cousin’s and a drunk driver swerved into her lane.”

Billy was frozen in place. He barely even felt Sid bury her head into his chest as she cried. She was worried, scared for you, but Billy felt as though he was going to throw up. Were you alive? Were you stable? If you were, how bad were your injuries? Were you even conscious?

So many questions, no answers.

Heat prickled along the back of his neck and spread to his ears as the room spun. “Where is she?” He whispered both scared to ask but desperate for an answer.

Sidney sniffed. “Woodsboro Memorial.”

He nodded and, in a daze, managed to grab Sidney’s hand to usher her out the door. “Okay, let’s go.”

It felt as though he was walking through molasses. He barely even heard Sidney explain to her dad about where they were headed, all he could do was focus on getting himself to that hospital. He needed to see you in person. Needed to see if you were okay.

Because, if you weren’t…

No. He couldn’t go there. Not just yet.

You had to be okay. He needed you to be okay.

So, he numbly hopped in the car with Sidney in the passenger’s seat and drove to the hospital. The streetlights all bled into one luminescent blur as he sped forward, not giving a shit about the speed limit or anything else besides getting to you.

Sidney, seemingly lost in her own thoughts, remained silent and he was well and truly thankful in those moments that her fear for your wellbeing overpowered the need to fill the silence of that car ride.

Within forty minutes, he was pulling into the Woodsboro Memorial parking lot. He parked close to the doors and he was almost sure he’d have a ticket waiting for him when and if he left the hospital, but he didn’t care. They could tow the fucking thing away if it meant he got to you sooner rather than later.

In silence, the pair made their way to the nursing station and when she told them what room you were in, the silence only continued as they made their way to the elevators. It wasn’t until Sid turned to face him with worry pinching her brow that the thick, tense silence was broken.

“Billy,” she swallowed and gripped his hand. “You think she’s okay?”

For the first time since that phone call, Billy’s eyes managed to focus in on Sidney’s face. He could see the fear in her eyes and hear the panic in her voice as the elevator continued its journey up to your floor.

“Yeah,” his voice was gravelly, raw. He hoped like hell he was right. “I do.”

She managed a small smile as the doors opened up to reveal your floor. Without wasting another second, they tore off in the direction of your room which was, thankfully, easy enough to find with Tatum, Stu and Randy standing just outside of it.

“Tatum!” Sid cried out, breaking off into a run. “How is she? Is she okay?”

“She’s okay,” Tatum nodded, seemingly releasing her own relieved sigh as she rolled her eyes. “I’m going to kill her myself, though, for scaring the shit out of us like that.”

“The doctor kicked us out,” Randy threw in, leaning against the wall. He wore the same look of relieved panic that Tatum had splayed across her face. “He had to talk to her mom about pain medication.”

“Hey, you okay man?” Stu’s voice was low as he reached around Tatum’s head to squeeze Billy’s shoulder.

“What the fuck happened?” Billy asked, finally finding his voice.

“A fucking drunk driver,” Tatum nearly growled. “You remember Andrew Garner? That rich douche that graduated a few years ago?” She shook her head furiously. “Apparently he had a few too many and drove home. I’m sure it’s not his first time, either but, you know, Daddy’s Money and all that shit. Fell asleep at the fucking wheel and swerved into oncoming traffic. Right into Y/N’s car.”

Andrew Garner. Billy could recall the name, but not the face.

He would, though. He’d go through every fucking yearbook in his house if it meant he’d find that fucker’s face.

“How bad is it?” Sid asked, almost scared of the answer.

“Broken wrist, a few cuts and bruises and a cute little goose egg on her head, but otherwise she’s fine.” Randy explained, slipping his hands into his pockets. “She said she swerved last minute so he didn’t hit her dead-on, but he t-boned her car and she rolled into the ditch.”

Billy’s head popped up as he eyed Randy and for the first time, something that felt a whole hell of a lot like hope blossomed in his gut. “Wait, she’s awake?”

As if on cue, the door opened up to reveal a greying doctor and your mother. The doctor frowned as he noticed Billy and Sid. “There’s already too many visitors,” he grumbled in disproval. “Three of you were bad enough, now there’s five?”

“She’s a popular girl,” Stu simply said, standing up a little taller as though to intimidate the older man.

The doctor sighed and glanced back at your mom. “Half hour,” he warned them. “Half hour and they have to go. Your daughter needs her rest and the hospital needs its space.”

Your mother nodded her head as she swiped at her eyes. “Yes, Doctor.”

The man left without another word, but your mother remained in the doorway with a small smile on her face. “You guys go in,” she fussed, “I’m sure Y/N has had enough of me hovering and I need to find some coffee.”

It took no convincing for the group to filter inside of your small room but Billy lingered behind and held his breath as his eyes swept over your injured frame. For a woman that had just rolled her car into a ditch, you looked incredible. Bruised, as Randy had said, and there was a cast on your wrist along with several tiny scratches marring your arms and neck, but you looked perfect.

And as your eyes slowly found his from across the room, his knees nearly buckled.

You were okay.

Sid was the first to rush to your side. “Oh my god, Y/N,” she whispered, taking in the extent of your injuries. “How you feeling?”

“Like shit,” came your playful reply. Your voice was raspy and hoarse. You squeezed your eyes shut as your head fell back against the pillow. “My head’s killing me.”

“Did Doctor Asshole tell you how long you had to be in here for?” Tatum asked, taking a seat on the edge of your bed.

“I can leave later tonight, at some point, thank god.” You managed a pitiful thumbs up. “They ran some tests before you guys got here and it’s not a concussion or anything, so that’s good. My wrist is fucked but better than the alternative, right?”

Billy’s feet remained planted in the sterile ground beneath him. He wanted nothing more than to kick every single person out of that room so he could wrap his arms around you, and it was killing him that he couldn’t. He loved you with everything he had, and you loved him right back so the fact that he couldn’t do a damned thing besides stand there with his hands bawled into fists inside the pockets of his jacket felt obscene.

“No internal bleeding or anything like that?” Randy asked.

Stu made a face and smacked his chest. “Dude, what the fuck?”

Randy held his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just making sure our dear friend isn’t going to croak on us, is that so wrong?”

You managed a quiet laugh. “Your concern is touching, Randy.”

“See?” Randy beamed but his smile fell as he gently nudged your foot. “Seriously, though. I’m glad you’re alive, kid.”

The group fell into an easy rhythm after that. They caught you up on everything you’d missed while at your cousin’s bachelorette. Billy supposed he should have thrown in a few tidbits himself, but all he could do was stare at you. At the bruises and cuts marring your body, on the welt that bloomed along your hairline. On the fucking cast wrapped securely around your left wrist.

He was hyperaware of every wince you gave whenever you’d make a sudden move. He knew you too well, at his point, and while you were putting on a solid show for your friends, he could tell you were in pain.

He could tell, despite being safe and sound now, that you were still scared.

Andrew Garner. He’d fucking done this.

That familiar prickling inside of Billy’s chest began to sprout and burn as he thought about getting his hands on the bastard. He’d undeniably have a hefty fine, but he thoroughly doubted that it would turn into a jail sentence. As Tatum pointed out, he’d get off. His family was loaded, and they’d undoubtedly intervene if it meant clearing his name.

But a fine wasn’t going to do it for Billy.

He’d nearly killed you and Billy would be damned if he got away with that.

Eventually, the doctor stuck his head in again and your mother returned with a massive cup of coffee. It was time to say their goodbye’s. Tatum and Sid were first and then Randy and Stu and when it came time for Billy to finally get a moment with you, you were both all too aware of your friends standing only a few feet away.

“If you need anything,” Billy muttered, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Just say the word, you hear me?”

“I will.” You managed a small smile.

Returning the smile, Billy leaned in to give you a quick hug. A friendly hug from an outsider’s point of view, but anything but for the two of you. “Leave your window unlocked tonight, okay gorgeous?”

You nodded once and it took everything inside of him not to kiss you before pulling away from you. Shooting you a quick wink, he turned on his heel and joined the rest of your friends as they made their way out of the hospital.

“I’m going to take a quick piss before we head out,” Billy chimed in, giving Stu a quick look as he veered off towards the bathrooms.

“Same.” Stu merely said as he followed him into the bathroom. He wasn’t shocked to find Billy pacing the floor, but it was the venomous look in his eyes that made Stu’s own smile broaden in excitement. “What are you thinking, man?”

“Do you remember Andrew Garner?” Billy asked, racking his brain for a visual of the bastard. “Remember where he lived or what he looked like or…”

“Yeah, man,” Stu nodded, “my brother played lacrosse with him for a year. I know exactly who he is.”

Relief flooded through Billy as he nodded and clipped Stu’s back appreciatively. “What do you say we pay that fucker a visit tonight?”

Stu’s eyes lit up in excitement. “You know I’m in.” He laughed. “I even found these stupid discounted Halloween costumes a few weeks back at the gas station, man. They come with these freaky ass white masks. We can give those a shot, make the fucker shit his pants before we gut him like a fish.”

Billy was nodding along to Stu’s words. The more pain and shame he could bring Andrew Garner, the better. “I’ll pick you up at ten. Bring those masks.”

-----------

Billy had watched the blood swirl down the drain of his shower for an entire hour as he cleaned himself off. Just as he thought, Andrew didn’t get a lick of jail time for nearly killing you. He instead had his father pay his fine before settling into his lavish house to nurse what was bound to be one hell of a hangover.

The bastard was still piss drunk when he and Stu managed their way into his house. He’d barely even put up a fight, if he was honest. He was loaded and by the time he noticed their knives, it was too late.

They’d killed the piece of shit. Tore him open from stem to stern. Billy had contemplated on making it look self-inflicted, at first, but the second he’d laid eyes on him, on his smug little face, all he could picture was you.

On the pain he’d inflicted on you.

On the fact he’d nearly killed you. His love, his life.

No, he wanted him to suffer.

So, that’s exactly what they’d done. He’d made the fucker suffer.

It was almost too easy, if he was being honest but no less satisfying watching the light leave the man’s face as he took in one final raspy breath of air before succumbing to his wounds.

Not long after that did Stu and Billy slip out of the house, unnoticed. No police sirens followed them, they left no trace of anything behind – save for the bloodied corpse – and they’d made it back to their respective houses with enough time for Billy to shower thoroughly before seeing you.

His heart was beating wildly in his chest as he dressed himself and as he thought of all of that blood, he felt that familiar part of himself spark to life. He’d made the piece of shit pay for what he’d done to you and he felt fucking good about it.

Soon after getting dressed and composing himself, he found himself climbing the trellis leading up to your room. It was a familiar footpath, one he’d taken a thousand times before, but there was a desperation with each step that encompassed him so wholly that by the time he’d reached your window, it was almost hard to breathe.

And when he laid eyes on you, on each bruise and cut, on that cast on your wrist, an entirely new emotion rippled through his chest as he fell to his knees at the foot of your bed. “Baby,” he breathed out, wrapping his arms around your middle. He was being so gentle, so careful so as to not hurt you any further. “I was so fucking worried about you. Are you okay? I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I—”

“Billy,” your laugh was gentle as you ran your fingers through his brown locks with your good hand. “I’m okay. I promise.”

He buried his face in your stomach as he held you. “I thought I’d lost you.”

You were quiet for a few seconds before you shook your head. “I’m right here.”

You heard him sniff and when he pulled back to look up at you, his eyes were red and glossy. “Are you in a lot of pain?”

You shrugged and continued to idly run your fingers through his hair. “I’ve been in less pain in my life.”

Billy frowned and slowly got up to his feet to take a seat beside you on the bed. He kissed your shoulder as his eyes swept across your every bruise. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Lay with me?”

In no time at all, the pair of you were laying on your bed as the movie you’d been watching before he’d come in played on in the background. Neither of you were paying much attention to it but the background noise was a good distraction from the fear still stewing beneath the surface.

You were laying on your good side, pressed against Billy’s chest as his thumb circled your knuckles. He was holding you as close as humanly possible, committing the feeling of you here, right now, to memory.

“Is this okay?” He asked tentatively. “You’re not too sore?”

“This is perfect,” you admitted quietly. “I think I’m still running on adrenaline, to be honest. I’m sore but not as sore as I probably should be.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Billy hummed into your hair.

You shook your head. “No,” you muttered. “I don’t want to think about it at all.”

“Okay.” He kissed the back of your head. “Then we won’t talk about it.”

He could feel the steady rise and fall of your chest against his as he held you there. He was still shaking with adrenaline from killing the rich piece of shit that had done this to you, but he had no intention of letting you go.

If he was being honest, he wasn’t sure he could have even if he tried.

Slowly, however, he felt you shift so that you were no longer on your side but laying on your back with those pretty eyes of yours focused in on his. “This movie is garbage.” You complained with a defeated frown. “I put it on in an attempt to distract my own brain, but it’s shit, isn’t it?”

He hadn’t so much as glanced at the TV since he’d stepped foot in your room. “I’ll change it for you. What do you feel like watching?”

You shook your head and grabbed his t-shirt with your good hand as he moved to get up. “I don’t want to watch a movie.”

Billy cocked his head to the side and, while he could see that dark look flash across your face, the one that immediately made his cock twitch in anticipation, he chose to ignore it. He had to ignore it for his own sanity. “What do you want to do? You want to, I don’t know,” he glanced around your room, “you want to play a board game?”

You blinked as a lazy grin broke out across your face. “A board game?” You echoed. “No I don’t want to play a fucking board game, Loomis.”

His own small smile tugged at his lips. “Cards?”

You yanked him back down onto the bed so that you were laying practically nose to nose. “No, I don’t want to play cards.”

He cupped your cheek as gently as he could and slowly let his hand trace over the gash that ran along your hairline. His smile fell as he felt you wince beneath his palm. “I wish I’d have been there, baby.”

“Why?” You whispered. “So that you, too, could look this?”

“You look perfect.”

“I look like shit,” you laughed quietly. “This is probably your blood kink talking, sicko.”

He matched your smile and bumped your nose with his. “Sicko, eh?”

“You heard me.”

Sliding his hand down from your cheek to your neck, he scraped his thumb along your throat and collarbone. And when you gently guided his hand further down your chest towards your breasts, Billy swallowed hard. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You shook your head and bit back a moan as he ran his knuckles across your nipples. “You won’t.”

He watched your nipples harden into buds beneath your thin shirt. “I might.”

“If anything hurts, I’ll tell you to stop.” You reasoned. “I need a distraction and you happen to be my favourite kind of distraction.”

His thumb grazed your nipple from overtop your shirt. He was being so gentle, too gentle, and his eyes were watching your every move as though waiting for you to stop him. But you never did. Instead, he felt you relax against him as he slowly slipped his hand beneath your shirt. Your skin was warm beneath his touch and despite the concern he had about hurting you, that look in your eyes was all he could focus on.

You were just as desperate for him as he was for you.

Flicking his thumb across one of your nipples, he rolled the bud between his fingers and pulled the hem of your shirt down far enough to reveal your tits. His mouth watered as he lowered his mouth onto your tit. His mouth was methodical as he sucked and bit down on your nipple. With every suck, his expert tongue swirled around your nipple, garnering a quiet, desperate moan out of those pretty lips of yours.

“Does that feel good?” He breathed out.

“You know it does.” You gave him another soft moan that made his cock twitch. “Don’t stop.”

As his mouth continued to devour your tits, he slid his hand further down your body before slipping it beneath the waistband of your sleep shorts. The familiar small smattering of hair along your mound made his pants tighten as he envisioned himself nose deep inside of your cunt.

God, he fucking loved you.

You’d always been a vocal lover, something he loved so fucking much, but tonight you were quiet. Your breathy moans were hushed as he finger-fucked you and each breath that slid through your parted lips sounded quieter than the last. “Billy” your voice was barely above a whisper, but he’d heard the desperation in it as clear as day. You gave his hair a gentle squeeze and thrust into his palm. “Fuck me, Billy. Please.”

There was something so fucking sexy about hearing you beg for it. Beg for a release only he could give you, but he was still so careful, terrified to make your already sore body worse because he couldn’t hold back.

Two fingers slipped inside of you as his thumb quickened its pace on your clit. You were soaked. Your slick coated his palm and he couldn’t help but slip his fingers out of you only long enough to lick his fingers. Fuck. He needed more of a taste. He needed to taste you on his tongue, feel your clit tremble in his mouth.

“Is it going to hurt to lay down on your stomach?” he asked, coating your tits with slick so that he could lick it off of you.

“Mmm, no I don’t think so.” You moaned. “But why?”

He bit down on your nipple. “Do you trust me?”

You nodded mutely and, with his help, did as you were told. You felt him snake your shorts down the length of your thighs as he kissed the curve of your ass, biting down on one cheek as he went before throwing your shorts across the room. You felt the bed shift as Billy crawled towards you but before you could question him on it, you felt his hands slide beneath your hips to pull you up so that your ass was raised in the air.

“What are you—”

Your words died in your throat as you felt his tongue glide along the folds of your pussy. He heard you gasp and fall back onto your pillow, stifling your moan as best to your ability as the flat of his tongue licked up your core.

“I want to fuck you so bad,” he rasped out, sucking on your clit. “But not tonight.”

“Billy,” you moaned. “Please.”

“I know,” he lapped at your clit, snaking his tongue in a circular motion that he knew drove you insane. “But I won’t risk hurting you. Not tonight.”

You were face down, buried in the comforter and pillows of your bed, but with your hips bent at the level Billy had positioned you in, he had full access to both your pussy and your ass. You could feel his fingers kneading into your ass as his lapped up your every fold until settling on your clit again.

Your entire body was red hot. Your nipples were painfully hard and you could hear how wet you were as his mouth imbibed every inch of your pussy. But before you could get used to the feeling of having him suckle and nip at your clit, he seemed to run his fingers down your pussy back up to your ass, spreading your slick all around before his thumb gently began to circle your ass hole.

You gasped at the contact but didn’t shy away from his touch for a single second. It was euphoric feeling him tongue fuck you all the while slowly, gently, fingering your ass. You were writhing beneath him and burying each moan and breath into your pillow. He knew this was killing you, he felt your need, tasted it all over his lips.

But he wasn’t done yet.

Tonight was all about you.

But if he didn’t grant himself a release soon, he was going to die.

So, with his free hand, he unzipped his jeans and began to pump his cock all the while fucking you with his tongue. Slowly, he began to kiss and lick and lap all the way down your pussy until his tongue was where his thumb had been teasing you. “You taste so fucking good.”

His voice was hoarse and breathy and as you chanced a look back up at him through a pair of hooded, drowsy eyes, he almost came in his hand right then and there. You looked so fucking perfect.

A slow, tender smile crept along his now glistening lips. “So fucking good.” He doted again, placing a kiss to your left ass cheek as he re-situated himself. Just before he lowered his mouth to your ass, he caught your eye one final time before he shot you a wink.

Your breath hitched in your throat as his tongue began to coax your ass hole. Your entire body was on pins and needles as that expert tongue dipped in and out of you, massaging the insanely sensitive area as he slipped a few fingers back into your pussy. His name tore out of your throat and your knees buckled from the sensation of having his tongue fuck your ass all the while fingering you to bring you closer to a release.

Your knuckles whitened as you gripped the bedsheets and, as the veins in your neck swelled with every laboured breath you managed to draw, Billy felt your entire body tense before you began to buck into his mouth as an orgasm rippled through your body. You moaned and groaned and cursed into the bed, but Billy’s mouth was relentless. And as he pinched your clit all the while dropping his mouth from your ass back down to your pussy, you all but collapsed.

He loved watching you come. You always got this gorgeous, hazy look in your eyes when you came and he could watch your body tremble and rock and writhe all day long. He was painfully hard in his own hand watching you come undone like this.

Just when he was sure you couldn’t take another second of his mouth, he pulled away and gently eased you back down on the bed. Your cheeks were flushed, and your lips were parted as you attempted to catch your breath. With every heaving breath, he met your tits with a hungry suck as he continued to pump his cock with the image of you like this.

And then he kissed you, felt you lick yourself off of his lips, and he came undone all over your thigh.

He could kiss you all fucking day.

Easing himself back down on the pillow next to you, Billy’s thumb gently raked over the gash that ran along your hairline. His brown eyes soaked in every injury and with every single bruise and cut, he was brought back to the bloodied mess he left Andrew Garner in. One blink, he was there on that bed with you, the next, he was holding the bloody knife as he sliced it into the fucker’s chest.

“I love you,” he heard you say, reaching your good hand out to soothe his hair down. He caught a glimpse of the ring he’d given you and immediately felt his chest tighten as the reality of the day settled in his chest.

He’d almost lost you today.

He’d truly almost lost you and the weight of that reality made his next few words flow out of his mouth with ease.

Focusing in on your face, Billy gave you a small smile as his lips ghosted across your knuckles. “I love you, too.” He whispered with all the sincerity in the world. “And nothing is going to get in the way of that, you hear me?” He pulled you against his chest and breathed in the familiar scent of your hair. “Nothing.”

#final girl #Billy Loomis #billy scream #billy loomis scream #billy loomis fanfiction #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis smut #Scream 1996 #scream movie #scream x reader #scream x oc #scream x you #slasher boyfriend #slashers x reader #horror movies x you #Horror Movies

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bisamwilson · 2 years

Note

Sam pressing his lil frozen nose to the back of Bucky’s neck

thank you for the ask as always @samothy-wilson! ily bee <3

(ao3 link if u prefer)

xxx

Bucky’s sitting on a stool at the kitchen island in their temporary hotel suite, sipping on his black instant coffee, and flipping through a physical newspaper when he feels Sam’s arms curl around his shoulders.

He waits for the inevitable wisecracks about how he willingly drinks sludge in the morning or about his old man newspaper tendencies as he brings one hand up to hold Sam’s. When they don’t come, he goes to turn around to tease Sam about the break from tradition, but he stops when he feels something ice cold at the back of his neck.

“‘s so cold outside,” Sam mumbles, smushing his nose even more against Bucky’s neck.

They both know Sam could’ve waited a few more hours to run, that the temperature would’ve risen about twenty degrees given the nature of spring, but they also both know Sam thrives best on routine. Bucky just pulls out of his embrace instead of saying anything further, putting down his coffee and turning around to drag Sam into his lap when he grumbles.

Sam immediately presses his face into the curve of Bucky’s neck instead, his nose still ice cold. “Why did I ever live in DC? Can we go back to Delacroix yet? It’s too fucking cold to be late April.”

Bucky laughs and just hugs Sam tighter, thinking about how much he also misses their little cottage, the shared spaces he and Sam had built together, and, most importantly, their cats, currently staying with their Aunt Sarah. “Less than three days, sweetheart,” he says. “I’ve been counting.”

“That eager to get home, baby?” Sam asks, sighing contentedly when Bucky drops a soft kiss to his forehead.

“I miss our kids,” Bucky says, pausing just long enough for Sam to let out the little puff of air from his nose that he counts as a chuckle that always follows Bucky calling their cats their children. “Besides, Carlos asked me if I wanted to go fishing with him and Tommy right before we had to leave, and I was looking forward to maybe getting something bigger than the size of my palm this time.”

“You’re homesick because you want to go fishing? Damn, Buck, we’ll make a country boy out of you yet,” Sam says, nuzzling even further into Bucky’s embrace.

Bucky shakes his head. “Your love for country music will literally never make sense to me. I promise you will not be as crazy about my farmer’s tan as that Kenny Chesney song suggests.”

“Come on, Buck. You can’t go fishing without a little Kenny in the background.” Sam goes to grab his phone, and Bucky lightly moves it out of reach before he actually plays the goddamn song.

“Tommy, Carlos, and I would all disagree.” Bucky nudges Sam’s face up and presses a kiss to Sam’s nose, now comfortably warm. “Three against one, sweetheart. You’re outnumbered.”

“Can’t mix your love life with fishing,” Sam says, shaking his head. “Always ends in betrayal.”

“I’m saving you from yourself, angel,” Bucky promises, standing up and taking Sam with him, pausing to grab his own phone and throw on a playlist of their favorite slow jams instead.

“Where are we going?” Sam asks, as if he didn’t already know from the slow jams.

Bucky crosses the threshold into their bedroom, gently laying Sam on the bed and covering his body with his own. “I’ve got an idea of how to warm you up, assuming you’re still cold and all.”

Sam grins and brings Bucky’s face down to kiss him. He hasn’t been cold for a while now.

“I’m fucking freezing, baby.”

#anthony mackie's love of country music will never not amuse me #disclaimer i have been sick for two days and this is unedited #so if it is incoherent i'm blaming it on my raging headache #🐝#sugar to my lemonade #sambucky #onlysambucky #only sambucky #mak writes #ask #otp: i’m coming with you #winterfalcon #sam wilson #bucky barnes #marvel #mcu #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #samothy-wilson

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n3onguts · 3 years

Text

5 times he said i love you. | kim taehyung

summary — different versions of ‘i love you’ told throughout the course of a relationship.

pairing — kim taehyung x f!reader

genre&tags — slice of life au, fluff, angst out of nowhere???, a terrifying lack of plot and direction (i cannot stress enough how unedited this story is. at some point, it got away from me and i just needed to be rid of it), taehyung making terrible choices while drunk, healthy-eating propaganda, pettiness and pride being the pitfall of every relationship, yk how it is

warning(s) — mentions of alcohol consumption and intercourse (but it's chill, they're both adults)

w.c. — bordering on 5k but pretty easy to digest

a/n — yes i have been working on my drafts (!!!), don't really wanna think abt them tho bc my laptop broke like two days ago, right when school's about to start so i'm not doing v good rn :/ anyways i've had this story in my head for a while ever since i read this one fic that used this same format (if i can find it i'll be sure to link the author as my inspo!) so i just wanted to get it out of my system. i'm not rlly a hardcore fan of bts (gotta admit tho... yoongi's passion for making music is so mmmmm), but when i started writing this i used taehyung's name as a filler for the guy character and it kinda just stuck. i hope u still enjoy, and as always, if u have any feedback, i'd love to hear it! :)

i. WHEN HE WHISPERED IT INTO THE NIGHT

Taehyung loves your apartment.

He loves it in the morning. Waking up to the sound of sizzling, of wood against metal, lightly clanging in your kitchen as you whipped up breakfast-for-two. Exiting the comfort of your bedroom to find early solace in the domesticity of the sight before him — you, with your sleep-ridden hair and bare legs peeking out from under an oversized tee. Messy and mussed but still looking oh-so-fucking-angelic, crooning along to your favorite Etta James record playing in the background as the rising sun bathes the scene with its glow. Solid hands wrap around your waist from behind as he rests his head in the crook of your neck. Syrupy kisses come in place of a greeting and contented sighs seep out when you break apart: all he could ever want, and more.

He loves it in the afternoon. Both of you on your lumpy couch in the living room; your head in his lap, his hands in your hair. Everything in its place the way it should be. Happiness is home-grown and laughter permeates the air perpetually. You tap-tap-tap away at your laptop, which rests on your chest. He tries to pay attention to whatever’s on TV, but his eyes always end up on you.

He loves it in the nighttime. Dancing together in front of the bathroom mirror before bed, toothbrush still in mouth. Lights off, lamps on, the safe warmth of your thick comforter enveloping you two. Legs intertwined as your dainty fingers trace his features, like you’re trying to commit a map of him to memory. Minty lips follow to sleepily graze against the trail you’ve left — starting at the top of his forehead, along his cheek, down the bridge of his nose, and, finally, after what feels like eons and then some, pressing onto his patient mouth. The evening does something to you both: honest words are exchanged with less resistance. Admissions of pleasure and confessions of pain spill out after dark, until you both succumb to the exhaustion, bodies interlaced like puzzle pieces.

Taehyung loves your apartment, he really does. He’s told you that numerous times. It’s a lot easier to say than what he actually wants to, but, well, those three goddamn words? They relentlessly attempt to claw out of his throat.

So he waits.

In the dim moonlight, the white noise of the city below acting as the soundtrack to your romance, he waits.

He waits, and when he’s certain you’re fast-asleep — chest gently rising and falling at a measured rate, cheek taking ownership of his chest — Taehyung surrenders to the feeling.

Glancing at you through drowsy eyes, he mouths it in the dark, rapid yet cautious, like a secret and a promise meant only for the night.

I love you.

ii. WHEN HE WAS DRUNK

Friday night — he found himself stuck at some bar, God knows where, struggling to stay upright.

Just one shot, Taehyung's sober self had stupidly claimed. One shot, and I’m done. But once his surroundings had started to go out of focus, and all he could make out were the cheers of his equally-idiotic friends, egging him on, well, how could he not succumb to the cloying pull of his own recklessness?

Alcohol was a shitty lover; it was bittersweet moments interspersed with short-term euphoria and long-term regrets. Side effects almost always included the following: (1) the ill-advised ballooning of his usually-muted ego, (2) a sudden and asinine surge of confidence, and, finally, (3), the mistaken belief that his present actions would have no future consequences, as though tomorrow would never come.

But tomorrow always did, and a half-dead, hungover version of him was always left to fix whatever mess he had made the night before.

Tonight, it seemed that drunk-dialing you was on top of his to-do list of mistakes to make. Clumsily, phone in hand, Taehyung summons your contact number, a familiar feeling of home washing over him once he spots your name at the top of his screen through heavy-lidded eyes.

It’s barely midnight, but half of him expects you’re already passed out, too glued to your bed from exhaustion to pick up. The other half — soft, daring, wishful — hopes that you aren’t.

It takes 3 rings before he hears your sleep-ridden voice hum through his line, “Hey. What’s up?”

For a moment, sobered by a split-second semblance of level-headedness, he hesitates.

“Hello? You there?” You patiently wait for a response, but worry laces your tone. Time to buck up and get this shit over with, he realizes.

Taehyung’s voice is timid, gentle, a juxtaposition to his booming surroundings, which are awash in a red glow and brimming with a sea of sweaty, intoxicated bodies. “Did I wake you?”

“Not really.” He hears you shift in bed, most likely sitting up to focus on the conversation. “Where are you?”

His response comes out slurred and ambiguous. “Um. Out?”

“Ah… you’re drunk.” He mentally curses himself for being so easy to read; you must be so annoyed, having your sleep disrupted by some boozed jackass. Instead, you laugh knowingly, and a wave of calm rolls over him. You don’t hate him, thank God.

Buzzing with a newfound self-assurance, the words start slipping out with much more ease. “Well, just a little.” You laugh again, and he’s grinning now, something wide and goofy and uninhibited.

“That sounds fun,” You murmur. “As long as you’re okay and you’re alive.”

“No—” He sighs dramatically. “I’m in agony. I wish you were here.”

“Oh, really? And why is that?” He can practically envision you as you say this: eyebrow quirked and delicate lips pulling into a faint smirk.

“I miss you less when you’re next to me.”

“O-kay, stupid. You know, you’re cute—” Taehyung pumps his fist in the air in celebration. I’m cute! He rejoices. “But you’re drunk.”

“What?!” He exclaims, and he hears you giggle at his sudden outcry.

Eyelids fluttering at the melodic noise, he imagines you’re seated at the foot of your bed, hugging your knees. Your ear is warm from the phone pressed against it and your toes are curling along your mattress. There’s a glint in your eyes as you speak to him, probably relishing in his current state of ill-advised inebriation. He’s making a fool of himself, he understands that much, but he doesn’t care — he’d run through the streets naked, if you willed it.

“You are, though.”

“I am, yes.” He concedes, nodding ruefully.

Another giggle. God, he’d never get tired of that. “Wonderful. So, do you have any more nice things to say to me while you’re drunk?”

You weren’t taking him seriously — couldn’t, seemingly. You were teasing him, he was sure, but he didn’t want that.

“I’d still miss you if I was sober, you know. Probably more so. The alcohol helps tamp it down a bit.”

“Sure.”

“I kind of wish we were attached by the hip — or, like, I had a leash that I could use to drag you around with me.”

“Oooh… Kinky.” Now it’s his turn to laugh.

“No, hey—”

“Hey.” You interject, voice a bare whisper.

“I…” Taehyung massages his temples out of frustration. He wishes you would just listen. His restlessness has two fingers down his throat, pushing the words out before he’s even ready. “Look, it really doesn’t fucking matter whether I’m at some bar or at your place: I want you next to me always. You haunt me everywhere I go, and I’m tired of trying to escape it. Because, well, um, you know— Shit. I love you, okay? Sober or not. Dead or alive. Stupid or whatever the opposite of stupid is.” He pauses to take a breath. “Me. I’m the opposite of stupid.”

Silence consumes your end of the line, and it implores — no, demands him to fill it. The world around him seems to slow as he rambles on, “That’s why I called you. I wanted to tell you that I love you.” Hope overcomes him. “Fuck, man, do I love you! And I know you think it’s the alcohol talking or whatever — which, sure, yes, Jose Cuervo did help push the words out — but I’ll still wake up tomorrow morning and you will still be my first thought, just the way you are every single fucking day.”

A tense quiet lingers, terrorizing him. Finally, after what feels like a millennium in his drunken stupor: “Smart?”

Your voice is tender, lighthearted, yet simultaneously consoling — he could sense a masked apprehension that you were deliberately trying to keep hidden.

“What?” He eventually stutters out.

“The opposite of stupid is smart.”

Oh. “Yeah. Um. That’s me.”

“Uh…” You begin and he absolutely despises how patronizing you sound. “Let’s just forget about this, okay? I get it: you think you love me and that’s really sweet, but…”

As soothing as your voice attempts to be, it’s a stab in his gut as he realizes that you don’t believe him — or maybe don’t want to.

He doesn’t say anything.

“Um, so, I’m a bit tired, I think I’m gonna go back to bed.”

A monotonous ‘sure’ leaves him reflexively. There’s a numbness that takes root inside of him as he stares straight ahead.

“Take care of yourself, please. Text me tomorrow morning so I know you’re okay, alright?” You hang on for a few more seconds, expecting a half-hearted acknowledgement from him, but you get nothing in return.

Taehyung hears a final, careful ‘bye’ muttered from your end before the line cuts. He lowers his phone down from his ear, resting it on the counter next to him. For some reason, it feels oddly heavy now. Stuck in a daze, he stares at the device like it’s an alien—

What the fuck had he just done?

iii. WHEN HE WAS SURE

“Tae, why would we ever need this much Jjajangmyeon?” You scold as he haphazardly scoops an entire row of instant noodles from the shelf into your shopping cart.

He shrugs, “It’s easy to make — you know I’m shit at cooking. Plus, it’s quick. And filling.”

You give him a withering look. “And full of sodium! Do you want a UTI? I swear to God, if you get sick, I’m not taking care of you.

“You say that but last time I did, you took a 3-day leave from work and rubbed my supposedly-smelly feet until I fell asleep.”

Grunting in response, you huff and he hears you mumble something along the lines of, “But they are smelly.”

You turn away from him to gingerly return the packets back into their place, ignoring his cries of protest when you leave only two behind — one for him and one for you. “Shut up. Why would it matter if you’re shit at cooking? You have me.”

At this, Taehyung smirks, leaning against the shelves like a quintessential rom-com lead. “I do?” He asks, voice dripping with innocence but eyes sparkling with mirth.

Grumbling, you wave a hand to dismiss him and he stumbles back dramatically, as though he’s been shot. You roll your eyes, “Will you behave? I feel like your mother.”

“Are we roleplaying right now?”

“We won’t be tonight if you keep being so annoying.”

“Okay— Sorry, sorry. My bad. Got the message. Behaving now.” He gestures to show that he’s zipping his lips.

He pulls out his phone to check your grocery list for what you two need next, eyes squinting to read the screen. Without missing a beat, you fish in your bag for his glasses and hand it to him. Taehyung pauses to look at the specs in your hand then back at you, before nodding gratefully and accepting them.

“It says we need bread next.” He announces, and you walk ahead to find the aisle containing bread. He maneuvers the cart to follow the route you leave behind as you check the aisle markers, zig-zagging along the pathway like a little pinball machine.

“Here!” You call out. Up ahead, you disappear into one of the aisles, and moments later, he enters said aisle to spot you trying (and subsequently failing) to reach the bread you want on the top shelf. You stop tiptoeing when you see him rush over.

He grabs the nearest loaf, one that’s eye-level to you, and waves it in front of your face, “Why not this one?”

You send him another withering look. “That’s white bread, Tae.”

“And so?”

“It’s super processed.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m young.”

“And you’ll die young if you eat garbage. Will you just get the whole-grain bread I was reaching for?”

“I don’t understand why you’re so concerned about these things — I’m an active guy, I’ll be okay.”

“Well, I’m sorry I care about your health.”

He wants to laugh at the scene before him — you, with your arms crossed and your eyebrows hardening like a petulant child — but he knows that would only irk you even more.

“No— Hey— C’mon.” Taehyung tries to pull you into a hug, but you swerve and swat away his attempts to close the gap between you two. “I’m glad you do. I’m very grateful, actually.”

Your pursed lips melt into a soft pout. “You just— You don’t know what a demon white bread is! I read an article about it the other day, and it’s made of refined grains, Tae! Refined grains.” You explain hysterically, hands buzzing around with the air of someone who's just divulged an incredibly juicy secret. “They’re chock-full of sugar and preservatives! And these preservatives have chemical names that no one ever questions because they can’t understand it, so they just accept it! You can eat a whole loaf in one sitting, Tae. I don’t want you to contract diabetes or something worse.”

When you finish your tirade, you go quiet, and when he looks into your eyes, dark pools he wouldn’t mind drowning in, he can’t tell whether he wants to laugh at your absurd worry over him or cry at your sincerity.

Instead, he smiles. It’s unrestrained, crinkling the corners of his eyes. “That’s a bit of a far reach.”

In one swift movement, Taehyung grabs the loaf you were eyeing earlier and hands it over nonchalantly. “But I do love you. So I’ll try my best not to.”

Perhaps it’s because he’s just said he loves you for the first time — terrifyingly sober, under the harsh fluorescent lights of your local supermarket, after you’ve lectured him about his health and as he casually tries to give you bread — that you stare at him for longer than he’d like, eyes peering like he’s become transparent. But he stands his ground.

He shrugs, tossing the loaf into the metal cart behind you. He thought your inability to respond might bother him, but, surprisingly, it doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t think he minds much. Taehyung always assumed loving someone with certainty would be like an immediate thing, a singular, specific moment he’d have to seize with confidence or it would pass, leaving him wrecked with nerves and regret. But, as it turns out, certainty could wash over him during the most mundane of instances and love would slide out easily into his words, as though it always belonged. Maybe it had.

“You love me?” You say, and when you do, it almost sounds like a wish. One he’d go to Hell and back to grant.

He looks at you like you’ve just told him that the sky is blue or the Earth is round. “Yeah. Of course, weird-o. Was I not clear enough with my profession of love earlier?

You shake your head as you laugh. “No, you were.”

Taehyung nods, satisfied, moving past you to push the cart in search of the next item on your grocery list. But before he can, he feels a pair of small hands clutch his arm and a face nuzzle into the wide expanse of his back.

“I love you too.” You muffle, voice humming warm air against his sweater. “Which is why I’ll let you get a pack of Oreos.”

“Fuck yeah!”

“But just one.”

iv. WHEN HE WAS SORRY

Stumbling inside your apartment, you rush out of your boots and head straight for your bedroom, locking the door. A few footsteps behind you, Taehyung follows, disgruntled by your brisk pace.

“Y/N!” You can hear him from inside your room, where you’re sat on the bed, staring into space as you try to process what had just ensued during the car ride home from Jin's dinner party.

“Your ‘friend’, huh?” You're staring stonily ahead, eyes carefully fixated onto the cement floor of the car park.

He’s still settling into his seat, shuffling on his seatbelt, too busy to really comprehend the challenge you’ve just initiated. “What?”

“When Jisoo asked you to introduce us, you said, and I quote, ‘Oh, this is my friend, Y/N.’ You called me your friend.” Gone is the acidity that laced your tone mere moments ago, replaced by an almost mechanical voice, something carefully constructed to mask feeling.

Taehyung stops what he’s doing to look up, finally taking notice of your cold demeanor. He frowns, “But you are my friend.”

“So that’s all I am to you? Just your friend?” You whip your head to face him now, fully, arms crossed. You’re devoid of emotion as you await an answer from him. He, on the other hand, looks utterly confused.

“What— No, of course not—”

“No, you were right. We’re friends. We are.” You cut him off. “Just friends. You’re correct.”

“I didn’t mean anything by—”

“I know. Which is why it’s no biggie.” You shrug, switching from robotic to indifferent. He can’t decide which is worse. “Let’s go home. I’m tired.”

You turn away, finished with the conversation, but he isn’t.

“I don’t understand— You were in such a good mood at dinner. What the fuck is happening?”

Looking at him again, you smile now, a sedative Taehyung won't fall for. “Nothing. Nothing’s happening. Can you start the car now? It’s freezing.”

Frustrated, he shuts up and does as he’s told, punching the keys into the ignition. You two sit in aggressive silence as he exits the car park.

The city roads are relatively bare, save for a few trucks driving along the highway. Passing street lamps illuminate your face in intervals, and every so often he looks over to check on you. When the car reaches a stop light at an intersection, he speaks up.

“I didn’t mean anything by it. Honest. I didn’t.” His phrasing is wary, but heartfelt. So much so you almost want to put the matter to rest.

But pride is the only thing you’ve ever known — your child, a monster you’ve nursed back to health when wounded and fed when starved. You’ll be damned if you back down now.

“Right. It’s okay. We’re fine. I swear.” It’s terrifying how easily these lies breeze out of your mouth, without so much as a pause.

“I mean— We never had a discussion about our label— I just assumed—”

“I get it. No harm, no foul. We’re friends.”

“It was just automatic in my head, and I don’t know why. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

At this, you let out a cruel laugh. “Jesus, Tae, let’s not jump to conclusions here. Don’t assume I even care enough about you to get hurt by something as stupid as that.”

His face contorts as though he’s been bitten. “I understand that you’re mad, but you don’t have to be so unnecessarily mean.”

“I’m not being mean. I said I get it, right? You think our situation is too difficult to explain and blah, blah, blah. Now, can you focus on the road?”

When the traffic light turns to green, he steps on the gas pedal. Any and all discussion is once more extinguished, up until you reach the warm basement parking lot of your apartment building.

You’re gathering your things, about to head out of the car door, when you feel his hand pull at yours.

“I really had no ill intent when I said that. You’ve just always been my friend, so I had no other word for what we are now.”

You twist your head to see him, eyebags accentuated in the shadows, pleading with you to understand. You grip him tightly back, a sickeningly sweet smile etched onto your lips, “Like I said, we don’t have to discuss this anymore. We are friends, Tae, you were right.”

“But—”

“We’re friends— I’m your friend! The friend whose bed you spend more nights in than your own. The friend who knows that you brush your teeth in a specific order because that’s how your grandma taught you when you were nine— Or that your favourite compliment is when people tell you that you look like your dad because he’s your idol. I’m that friend! The friend who takes off from work the minute she hears you’re sick, who learns how to make Japchae exactly how your mom did. The friend who’s held you when you’ve cried, cleaned up your sick when you’ve gotten drunk, and swallowed your goddamned cum! The friend you fucking said ‘I love you’ to! Just fucking friends!”

Your furious shouts echo throughout the empty space, bouncing from wall to wall so that even when you've finished your rant, eyes frenzied and hands done flying, Taehyung can still hear your words create a cavern of guilt in his chest.

Fast-forward back to the present moment: there's a knot in your heart as you get ready for bed. Looking at your reflection in the mirror as you brush your teeth, you wonder, is loving someone supposed to be this hard?

“Y/N, please. I’m sorry. Open up.”

You gargle the last of the water in your cup and spit, wiping your mouth and smoothing down your pajamas as you head for the door. Opening it up, you assume a pleasant facade.

“What’s up? Sorry for the wait, I was changing.”

If your nonchalance deters him, he doesn’t show it. “I’m sorry. I realized I never said that. I’m sorry I called you my friend— I wish I hadn’t.”

“Tae, I told you, it’s not a big deal, we’re goo—”

“No, we’re not.” He runs a tired hand through his hair. “If you had introduced me as your friend, I’d feel fucking terrible. I’d feel so put out.”

You stay quiet, and you don’t want to, but you can feel yourself cracking.

“Friends don’t say I love you like that. And I love you like that. I’m sorry.”

You let a sigh escape. Your mom once told you that you housed a terrible anger, one you’d hold onto no matter how exhaustive it could be. But when he looks at you like that — disarmingly earnest in his sorrow, like wounding you wounds him — you want to raise a white flag in surrender, want to promise him you’ll do everything in your power to douse your pride.

You rest your forehead onto his chest and you hear him exhale in relief. He envelopes his arms around you (a cocoon you think you never want to leave), burying his nose into your hair.

“I should’ve just called you what you are: my girlfriend.” Taehyung whispers, a final reparation. “You’re my girlfriend, right?”

You pray no hesitance bleeds out into your words. “I’m your girlfriend.”

v. WHEN HE TRIED TO HOLD ON

“You’re my girlfriend.”

“I know.”

“And I’m your boyfriend.”

“I know.”

“So if you know, then why—” Taehyung exhales out of his nose. “You can’t treat people this way, Y/N.”

“I know.”

He’s standing across the room, arms crossed as he berates you. You really want him to leave, but if he did, you’re certain you’d run after him. You also want him to hold you, but if he did, you’re sure you’d only push him away. Feelings are stupid like that.

You poke craters into your lumpy mattress, chin resting in between your raised knees. Parts of you feel guilty, and perhaps that’s why you’re avoiding his gaze. But you’re also stubborn. I’m entitled to be selfish about my pain, you think.

“You’re supposed to— Why won’t you—” Lots of words swim in his chest. Taehyung wishes he could just reach inside and pull out the right ones, because all of the ones he uses only make you seem farther away. “You can’t keep doing this, Y/N.”

“Doing what?” You spit out, all poison. Why? You wonder. You’re clearly in the wrong here.

“This.” He gestures towards you like it’s obvious. “Holing up in your own little world, refusing to let anyone else in. And then when I come to you to try and understand, you make me feel like I’ve done something wrong.”

You open your mouth to say haughtily that he hasn’t, but you’re cut off.

“God, Y/N, you know— It’s actually fine that you’re like this. I don’t mind if you shut everyone out, don’t mind if you’re hard to reach, because I’ll put in that effort. You expect me to give and give and give, and you know what? That’s fine. It’s fine with me. I’ll say sorry first, I’ll concede, I’ll swallow my ego, I’ll let you win. I don’t mind.”

You fiddle with your bedsheets, eyes fixated on them so hard you think you might burn a hole through. You shouldn’t be, but for some reason, you’re irritated that he’s confronting you with all your wrongdoings and letting you get away with it.

“I don’t mind! Really, I don’t. I’ll let you do whatever. That’s how much I love you.” He runs a hand through his hair, exasperated. “All I ask for in return is that when I knock on the door of this little cage you’ve built for yourself, you let me squeeze in beside you.” His voice tapers off, “I’ll make myself small, won’t be a bother— Won’t even take up that much space, really. I just want to be in there with you. That’s all I want. That’s not much, is it?”

You want to tell him you’ve always lived like this — behind a smoke screen, inaccessible, like connection is a tap you can just turn on and off. Hurts less that way.

When you glance at him, guilt swells. Did you do this to him? Taehyung’s face looks worn; his eyes, desperate. A flicker of sadness pierces through your gut. You let him infiltrate your life, carve out a designated space for himself in your daily routine, and when he tells you he loves you, drunk, you refuse to believe it; he tells you again when he’s sober and you still can’t. You hate it when he introduces you as his friend, but get scared when he refers to you as his girlfriend.

You don’t know when it all turned to shit. Maybe it started during that week he was too busy to contact you, and you retaliated by ignoring him for the next two. Maybe it was because of that time he called you ‘difficult to be with’, and how no matter how many times he apologized, you couldn’t prevent that cancerous little seed of insecurity from burrowing itself in your mind. Or maybe it’s always been shit, and you’ve just been too spellbound to look at things with a clear head.

You try to absolve yourself of any blame, try to convince him as well as yourself: “I never asked you to do any of that. You did that to yourself.”

His hands implore you to see reason. “But that’s what a relationship is. You don’t ever have to ask— I’ll still be here anyway, still be waiting. That’s what loving someone is.”

There’s a phenomenon in psychology known as Stockholm Syndrome: it’s when a kidnapping victim forms an emotional bond with their captor. It seems irrational, unlikely. How could anyone fall for a person who’s hurt them? Defend them like none of that pain ever happened? But people do it everyday, you realize. People settle — they make compromises, they let themselves get stepped on, they excuse their chest aching as part of loving someone.

You let Taehyung’s words drift into the cold air of the room. The scene has slowed down. He’s sitting now, on the edge of the bed, and he looks like a husk of himself, as though getting all those words out has sucked him dry. You look outside of your window and notice that it’s drizzling.

“Did you bring a coat?”

“Huh?” He follows your line of sight. “No, I didn’t.”

“You can borrow my umbrella.”

From your position on the bed, you watch the rain fall, and from the corner of your eye, you see him tilt his head at you, like you’re a puzzle he’s trying to figure out.

“Don’t you ever get tired?” When you inquire, it comes out casual, without the cadence of the argument you just had.

“Of?”

“Being here. Waiting.” A pause. “Loving, I guess.”

Taehyung shakes his head firmly, obediently, like he’s confident his love will be enough for the both of you. “No. Never.”

The next time you speak, you can hear two hearts break. “I do.”

403 notes · View notes

bloodorangesoup · 3 years

Text

Ice Cream and Bad TV | B.B.

Request: Late night thoughts : The only porn bucky watches are the ones that come on tv at like 2 or 3 in the mornings. Imagine cuddling up with him on his living room floor, aimlessly clicking around until you stumble upon the channel & he gets flustered & shy about it & you fuck him while porn plays in the background. Like I think it’s so romantic🥺🥺 riding him while the soft glow of the tv illuminates his face. His moans & grunting blending in with the actors 😫😫

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I cannot for the life of me control myself)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ | cuddle fucking, unprotected sex(pretend ur on birth control for a sec)(still wrap it b4 your tap it), flustered Bucky, porn talk, the tiniest bit of sub!Bucky for like half a second, fluffy smut, you get the gist

My Masterlist

Notes: I did this in one sitting so sorry if it’s repetitive or has any mistakes. I think I have a major soft sport for flustered Bucky. I also had to think of a realistic name for a TV porn channel so bear with me. This is my first time writing smut in non-headcanon form so let me know how I did! Happy reading!

It was 2am on a Thursday night when your phone rang with your boyfriend's caller I.D. This wasn't the first time that Bucky had called you for this instance, it became a routine for you to talk him down after a nightmare and you prepared to do so when you picked up. Usually the first thing you would hear was his heavy breaths, the anxious buzz in his body making him fumble his words as he tried to focus on talking to you, so you were surprised to be met with still breathing and his typical deep, steady voice.

"Doll? You there?"

"Yeah, Buck, I'm here," you replied with a yawn, trying to sound as awake as possible. Bucky could hear the airiness of your voice and let out a sigh.

"Sorry, baby, I woke you up."

"You say that every time, I don't mind waking up for you. Besides, I don't have work tomorrow so I don't exactly need my beauty rest."

There was a pause. You could still hear static from the other side of the call but Bucky didn't say a word.

"Buck? You okay?" As if you snapped him out of a daydream, his hurried words rushed through the phone.

"Yeah yeah, sorry. I'm kind of out of it right now, I had another bad dream."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You had expected his usual answer of yes, then you would listen to his thoughts and comfort him through the horrific reality that were his nightmares.

"You said you don't have work tomorrow? Do you think you could come over right now? Actually never mind, I don't know what I'm saying, it's 2am." You could practically see Bucky shaking his head as he took back his question.

"I'll be there in twenty, James. You better have some blankets and pillows ready for me because we're taking over your couch."

Bucky let out a breath over the line, "See you soon, y/n, love you."

"Love you more," you said quickly before hanging up, not letting him get in the last 'I love you.'

Forty minutes later you found yourself on Bucky's lap on his living room floor. You two had abandoned the idea of the couch and chose to make a small fort with the couch as your scaffolding. There was a surprising amount of pillows and blankets surrounding the two of you, you had no idea Bucky even owned them all.

He sat with his back against the couch, your legs laid over his and your arms were around his neck, bringing his head down to your chest. He talked about his nightmare, sparing you the gruesome details, and once he was done he closed his eyes and leaned further into your chest, breathing in your scent. You gave the crown of his head a kiss and rested your head atop his. Comfortable silence washed over the two of you before you spoke up.

“You know what always makes me feel better?” you asked, lifting your head just enough to look down at him.

“What?” he mumbled into your chest. A soft smile graced your face at his cuteness.

“Ice cream and bad TV!” you announced excitedly before wiggling out of his grasp.

You did a little jog to his kitchen and reached down into the freezer to grab a small pint of ice cream you knew Bucky always kept stashed for you whenever you came around. Picking up two spoons and turning off all the lights in the apartment on your way, you quickly made your way back into the living room, lifting Bucky’s arms to situate yourself back into your position on his lap. You popped the lid of the small tub and handed it to Bucky along with a spoon. With your hands now free, you felt around in the dark for the remote and turned on the TV.

Waiting for the TV to completely turn on, you ate a spoonful of ice cream. You hummed at the taste of the cold sweetness coating your tongue. You gasped as you opened your eyes, finding Bucky scooping out some ice cream and lowering it to your mouth.

“Oh wait, let me make this cuter!” you squealed with your eyes wide.

Copying Bucky’s actions, you took a spoonful and lifted it to his lips, the both of you opening wide and feeding each other. You giggled at the cliché moment and Bucky couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at how adorable you were.

You turned back to the TV, lifting the remote in your hands to change the channel to anything but the news that was already playing on the screen. As you flipped through sports recaps, music channels, infomercials, and movies that were already almost over, you sighed.

“Ugh, there’s nothing good on. Maybe if I start from the end of the list there’ll be better stuff,” you huffed.

Before Bucky could register what you said you had already typed in the biggest number you could enter and began flipping down through channels. Surfing through the empty screens, you landed on one called HotNet and suddenly the screen was completely taken over by a pair of boobs which then cut to a woman on her back and a man on top of her, rutting into her at a slow pace, while her moans echoed throughout the apartment. You quickly shuffled with the remote, trying to turn the volume down from it’s loud setting, spooked at the loud, obscene noise coming from the speaker.

“Oh my gosh, I wasn’t expecting that,” you laughed into Bucky’s chest, “God, I hope your neighbors didn’t hear that.”

Bucky stared at the screen with wide eyes, hoping you would change the channel before noticing that the channel was in the On Demand section. You gasped through your laugh, collecting yourself before turning back to the TV and shaking your head.

“Jeez, I didn’t even know they still had porn like this on public television.” You looked back down at the remote, clicking the Guide button. Bucky’s heart stopped as the description took over the screen, the video still playing in the top right corner. In bold letters the words On Demand titled the card. Even worse, the bottom of the screen displayed a small box containing the information,

$19.99

purchased with debit card xxxx-9758

You furrowed your brows in confusion, realization slowly softening them, before a mischievous smirk took over your face. You lifted your head to look at Bucky, his face looked down at your lap, refusing to meet your eyes. You tapped the bottom of his chin with the remote, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

“Did you order TV porn, Jamie?” He could hear the teasing tone in your voice, and you only ever used that nickname when joking around, yet Bucky still felt extremely embarrassed. He felt as if he just got walked in on while touching himself. It didn’t help that it was you that saw it, he wanted to crawl in a hole and never look back.

“Ah, you’re blushing,” you squealed as you took his cheeks in your hands, “oh come on, it’s not that embarrassing Bucky.”

“Ugh, can we please pretend you didn’t just see that,” Bucky groaned, closing his eyes to escape your stare. He set down the ice cream next to him and lifted his forearm over his eyes.

You let out a breathy laugh, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself and pushing up to swing your leg under you to the other side of his lap, you straddled him.

“Hey, it’s really not that bad. I mean we’ve had sex before Buck, I think you’d rather have me find this than Sam or someone else.” He let out another groan and lowered his head to lean against your neck.

“Angel, please don’t talk about Sam while you’re on top of me and there’s porn playing on the TV.”

You laughed and ran your hands down his arms, letting one of your hands run up behind his neck and weaving your fingers into his hair. You gripped the back of his head and gently tugged him back up to face you.

“Why,” you sang, deciding to have some fun with him in his flustered state, “is this turning you on?” you whispered the last part.

Before he could respond you leaned down and kissed him. You didn’t bother to start off slow as you usually would, Bucky could taste the hunger from every parting of your lips. His hands gripped your waist, you rocked your weight forwards to rub against him. Bucky’s head clouded, his senses felt overloaded in the best way possible, your movements mixed with the sounds of the moaning coming from the TV were getting him hot. You pulled back before getting too carried away, a smile on your swollen lips.

“So, baby, tell me about it.” You said. It was Bucky’s turn to furrow his brows and he cocked his head to the side in question, mind still foggy from the feeling of you grinding on him.

“What kind of porn do you watch?” you clarified, looking at him like you just asked what his favorite color was.

“Uhm, you want to know about that stuff?” Bucky looked at you with caution, feeling out if he should listen to you or not.

“Well, yeah. I mean I don’t know how it was back then, but most people nowadays watch porn. It’s not super taboo to talk about it,” you explained. You weren’t going to force him to talk about it if he really didn’t want to, but your desire to hear what Bucky was into was strong.

He hesitated for a moment, looking in your eyes and seeing curiosity clouded with lust. He cleared his throat.

“Well, pretty much this stuff,” he gestured with his hand to the TV before putting it back on your waist, “there’s this girl on there, she kinda looks like you, so I buy the videos with her.” He closed his eyes and internally groaned at his words, he didn’t mean to come off so perverted. God, you had already found his porn, the last thing he needed was for you to be thinking he was a creep.

“Y’know that’s actually kinda sweet,” you giggled, “what do you like about those videos?”

Feeling a bit more comfortable knowing you weren’t grossed out, Bucky continued.

“I like the ones where it’s dark and slow. It’s usually quiet and there’s candles and stuff,” he explained shyly. Of all the surprises that came with dating Bucky, you had to admit finding out he was into romantic porn was one of the biggest ones.

Bucky cleared his throat again before questioning you, “Do you watch porn?” He felt almost wrong asking that. He knew that women in this age were more sexually liberated, but the words still felt sticky in his mouth.

“Oh, yeah, of course I do.” Bucky seemed surprised at how casually you answered. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking you to go on.

“Well specifically, I actually really like the videos that are like this,” you said, your head looking down at you straddling him, he followed your gaze, taking in how nice you felt on his lap. You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his chest. Your faces were so close your noses were almost touching. You could feel his rapid heart beat under your palm and the quick rise and fall of his chest. “Do you ever watch the ones that look like this, Bucky?” He looked up at you and nodded with wide eyes, his pupils were blown and his mouth was open like he was searching for the words to respond.

You grasped his jaw in your hand, your thumb on his chin, and looked him in the eyes. You wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, but with the newfound knowledge you had, you took your time with your actions. Within the last five minutes, Bucky had revealed to you not only that he liked soft, romantic porn, but that he also watched a specific actress because she looks like you. The one goal in your head was to fulfill his fantasy the best you could at the moment.

With his head still in your hand, you held your eye contact as you let your knees move out, grinding yourself against his growing erection. He let out an involuntary whimper. That was the last straw. You pulled his face to yours, joining him in a hard, yet loving kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pushing your chest against his, trying to get as close as possible.

Bucky’s dick was painfully hard. He couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of you on top of him. His body felt like it was on fire, he was insatiably horny and couldn’t control the way his hips bucked up to grind with you. He felt like a horny teenager the way his mind was filled only with images of you naked, imagining you like that on top of him like you were now.

You slipped your tongue past his lips, keeping your pace slow as you glided it across and bit at his lower lip. A moan made its way out of your mouth and into his as you felt him buck up against you.

You slid your hands down his chest, fumbling with the hem of his shirt before his arms raised, giving you access to peel it off him, throwing it up on the couch. Bucky kissed down your neck, licking over the shell of your ear, and sucking at the center of your throat. He reached down and slipped his hands under your shirt, sliding up and down your waist before gliding up and lifting your shirt over your head, discarding it with his.

Bucky wasted no time reaching around you and unclipping your bra and dragging it down your shoulders. He cupped your breasts, squeezing them with his large hands before bringing you into another tender kiss. Despite your frantic movements, there was a spark of passion cracking through the air, the both of you desperate to feel each other closer.

You broke the kiss, breathing heavily and resting your forehead against his.

“I wanna make love to you, y/n, please, let me make love to you,” he groaned with a slight whine in his voice. He sounded like he was about to crack.

“Please, Bucky.”

You leaned back on your hands and lifted your hips, giving Bucky the room to pull down your shorts and panties in a few swift tugs. He quickly got up on his knees and pulled down his sweats and boxers, sitting back down and tugging them off his legs. You reached your arms forward, Bucky grabbing a hold of your wrists and pulling you back to straddle him again. You gasped at the feeling of his cock under your bare pussy, your wetness from all the grinding and kissing making you slide over him.

You leaned forwards, capturing his lips between yours and raising yourself up on your knees. Reaching under yourself, you gripped his cock, wet with your arousal, and lined him up with your cunt. Bucky gripped your hips as you sank down on him, using every ounce of self control to stop himself from rutting up into you. You stayed like that for a second, adjusting to the way he filled you. Seeing the remote lying on the floor, you grabbed it and slightly turned up the volume, only enough so that you and Bucky could hear the actress in the video being ravished by her co-star.

Bracing your hands on his shoulders, you began to slowly move up and down over him, riding him just as you had told him you liked to watch. His hands moved up from your waist, squeezing your tits, pinching your nipples in between his fingers. You let out a hiss as he rolled them between his fore finger and his thumb, tugging on and rubbing his thumbs over them. He reached around to grab your ass, squeezing and rubbing your cheeks and you used him to pleasure yourself.

You were a moaning mess over him and he wasn’t much different. The room was filled with the sounds of the porn playing on the TV mixed with the sounds of your own cries of pleasure. If the neighbors hadn’t been woken up by the TV, they sure were by you two.

Bucky sat back on his knees, his hands slid down to your thighs, moving your legs from under them and wrapping your legs around his back. His arms worked their way back up to wrap around your waist, bringing you ever so close. The new angle pushed him even deeper up into you. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, giving you access to all the sweet, desperate sounds falling from his lips.

You were now pushing up with your feet behind him, rolling your hips over his. The new technique made your clit rub over his pelvis, the sensation making you throw your head back and let out a deep moan. He took the opportunity to continue kissing your neck, going lower with every lick and bite. He sucked at your collarbone, leaving a deep purple mark in its place.

Suddenly, he was using his arms to lift you up, not pulling out of you, and laying you down on the blanket-covered floor. You instinctively locked your ankles together, pulling him closer as he thrusted into you. Bucky had his metal arm holding himself up while his flesh one squeezed your breasts, feeling them move with his thrusts. He lowered his head to your chest and licked one of your nipples, grazing his teeth over it before taking it in between his lips and sucking. Your hands flew to the back of his head, singing praises as you wove your fingers into his hair. He continued to alternate between your breasts, leaving love bites around them and sucking on their sensitive peaks.

You could feel your body buzz with anticipation, you were so close. The moans escaping your mouth were lewd and uncontrolled. Bucky wrapped his flesh hand around your waist, lifting your chest flush against his.

You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up to kiss him. Nothing felt better than making love with Bucky felt. This was definitely not the first time you two had been intimate, but none of those previous times had ever been like this. You could feel the passion flowing through his body into yours. You looked up at his form over you, how beautiful he looked with the light of the TV screen glistening against the beads of sweat on his forehead. There was absolutely nothing in the world compared to having him, in all his beauty, to yourself like this.

Bucky’s heart was exploding in his chest. What had started out as an embarrassing, nightmare-fueled night had turned into the most intimate experience he ever had in his life. Love was already established in your relationship, but Bucky had never truly made love to you. He looked down in awe at your disheveled state, at the way your hair was sticking to your forehead, at the way the only light in the room gave you an angelic glow. He wanted nothing more than to give himself completely to you, to make you come all over him.

He leaned his forehead against yours, pushing his face forward once every few seconds to kiss you. He was close, and he wanted you to come with him. He leaned into you even more, his cheek pressed against yours, his lips next to your ear.

“I love you so much, y/n, God, you feel so good. I love you, I love you,” Bucky’s voice was deep and strained, his words being emphasized by each push into your wet pussy. You let out another loud moan.

“I love you, James,” you whined as he hit your sweet spot, “I love you so much.”

Bucky’s hand wedged itself in between the two of you, his fingers finding your clit and gently rubbing it. You were completely overwhelmed, this is what it felt like to make love to someone. Your body began to shake and your breathing became erratic. Bucky thrusted harder, working to push you over the edge.

“I want you to come in me, Bucky,” you gasped as his thrusts got faster and lost their rhythm.

Your mouth turned open in a silent scream as you came. Bucky felt your walls clench around him, squeezing the life out of him. He let out a shaky groan as he fell over the edge. His eyes shut tight and his body tensed as he spilled into you.

Wrapping his metal arm around your back and securing your body to his, he rolled on his flesh shoulder onto his back. You went limp against him, laying your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat slow down. He was still buried within you, connected to you. Letting your eyelids fall shut, you savored the feeling of being full of him and his love.

You lifted your head to kiss his jaw.

“I’m glad you called me, Bucky. I love you.”

“I am too, doll. I love you more.”

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