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needle-thread-thimble-spear · 27 days

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RGU and the Transfeminine, Part 1

Why Miki Kaoru is an Egg

Fig. 1: The Sunlit Garden

When I’d first watched through Revolutionary Girl Utena, Miki Kaoru was initially one of the characters I had the hardest time figuring out. Unlike the other poisoned sibling relationships in the show, Miki and Kozue’s didn’t really make much sense to me. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the character, whether he was “better” somehow than Touga, Saionji, or Akio, or if he was “just as bad”. And of course. What the hell is with that damn stopwatch dude??* Looking at fan writings afterward just deepened the confusion. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what’s going on with Miki. It’s only after much re-watching, and introspection, that I think I’ve figured out why I’m so conflicted about the character. I’d like to share why- and hopefully along the way I can at least show that Miki is more interesting than many give him credit for. Click the readmore if you please!

(And, to be clear, what is written below is a reading, a blend of evidence from the text, from the subtext, and my own personal experience. I do not claim to be the first to interpret the character this way nor do I claim that this is the definitive read of the character. Nonetheless, I hope I can make my case to you!)

and, a big thank you to @empty-movement for collating all the high quality screengrabs and scans in this post!

Fig 2: Rookie Princes

While I’m not the first to notice, I think it’s frequently overlooked just how similar Utena and Miki are in the first arc. It’s definitely something that flies over the heads of many first-time viewers. But Miki and Utena, are extremely alike! Of course, they are both motivated by an unattainable image of the past, and Miki’s early episodes codify the “sunlit garden” into the RGU symbolic environment. But it’s more than just this. Utena and Miki both treat Anthy in basically the same way. Utena has an easy time convincing Miki that the dueling game is objectifying nonsense. That the principled thing is to leave the whole exercise behind and treat Anthy like a person. It isn’t very hard for Miki to convince Utena to duel him for her hand either. They both view themselves as her personal protector, and (while maybe at different times), both project their imagination of what she must be thinking onto her. Utena does a bit more than Miki to try and figure Anthy out, but it doesn’t take much for her to get swept up in her own image of prince. In both their minds, Anthy needs them to save her. And, when Anthy looks them in the eyes, and tells them. I’m not yours. It destroys them. Freezes them in their tracks, breaks their hearts. Screaming, its a lie, you can’t mean that! Of course they get along so well! They see themselves in one another, plain as day. Little rival princelings, seeking the affections of the same princess, but always with chivalry and good intention.

Fig 3: Heartbreak

But I think there is more to it than that! Miki and Utena (and later Nanami) are some of the youngest duelists (at least, without a black rose anyway). And, they have fairly similar relationships to the other members of the student council. Juri acts as an older friend, mentor, and source of advice for both of them. Its not unlikely that she sees her younger self in the two of them, and while she does very directly take this out on Utena, its her sword that Utena takes to her second duel with Touga. Indeed, Touga manipulates Miki and Utena in unsubtle and sexually aggressive ways, as compared to how he might treat Saionji or Juri. And for both, its their relationship to gender that he directly attacks. He attempts to break Utena’s spirit by turning her “back into a normal girl”, and for Miki he seems to challenge his masculinity. And while this may seem as though the two of them are being shoved in opposite directions, in both cases, Touga hits them in the same place. “You’re a prince then? I don’t think so. Unless you prove it”. Touga isn’t the only one to question Miki’s ability or status. Utena and Juri both tell Miki. You are much more suited to playing piano than dueling. The main difference here is that they tell him this with genuine compassion, but the implication is the same. You aren’t suited to this prince thing. Give it up.

I don’t think it’s just the audience who is conflicted slotting in Miki with the other “men”.

Fig 4: Strange Friends

Much ink has been spilled on Miki and Kozue’s relationship, but I do think there is one thing consistent across readings. There is a power struggle going on between them, and they’ve both got something to hold over the others head. Personally, I don’t believe there is any attraction between them. Rather, What’s Going On With Those Two is their mismatch in understanding their sexuality and the RGU concept of “Reality”, and the friction that creates in their image of themselves and one another. That reading may go as follows. Miki sees Kozue as acting dangerously and immorally. In his mind, she is his responsibility, to keep out of trouble at the very least. Perhaps he sees himself as needing to step in for their absent parents. So he sees himself as the mature and grounded one, a father figure needing to keep the both of them on the straight and narrow. Kozue on the other hand, sees Miki as being essentially blind to Reality (with a capital R). She believes he doesn’t have a good grasp of what sex is, or what adult relationships look like. She may believe that she understands what happened with their parents much better than Miki, and clearly sees that her brother is in danger with his creepy music teacher. So she sees herself as the mature and grounded one, needing to protect her brother both by warding off people who would take advantage of him and by getting him to grow up and see things as they Really are. Without their parents, they feel the need to take care of one another and control how the other approaches their sexuality. But in the end, it does seem that Kozue is the one who is better able to manipulate Miki’s behavior, helping Akio convince him to duel a second time. That Miki needs to grow up and accept what he wants. He sees a vision of Anthy, and he’s driving the akiomobile. And, with fearful realization, he discovers the identity of End of the World.

Fig 5: Fear

So then. Why should Miki be so hung up about his sexuality? It clearly makes him very uncomfortable. And why does he compare the sister he had in the past onto the one he has in the present? What’s so special about that sunlit garden, anyway? What is Miki Kaoru’s shining thing?

Let me spin a yarn, if you'll indulge me-

As far as Miki remembers it, when he was little things were perfect. His parents were still there, and he and his twin sister were thick as thieves. They would play piano together, and drink milkshakes. Things were simple and happy as far as he’s concerned, and while his childhood was not nearly as rosy as he remembers, it was certainly better than whatever he has to deal with now. Now his parents are gone for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, and his sister has drifted away from him and acts promiscuously. His body is starting to change, and it fills him with disgust. Worse still, he finds himself envying his sister for some reason. It all floods him with shame. He needs to fight those feeling with everything he has. Being very clever for his age, he finds himself the youngest member of the student council. He becomes involved with the dueling game as it is revealed to him, and goes along with it, not wanting to act out of place. He gets a crush on Anthy, and is unable to figure out what the hell he should do about it. Later, he meets Utena, and the two become fast friends. And how lucky, his new friend is roommates with his crush! She’s just so perfect. She’s kind, and quiet, and chaste, not at all like his sister. He feels a kinship with her. And in an act of cosmic fate- she plays for him his favorite childhood arrangement. It’s just as Touga says. He can’t let the world get to her, the way its getting to his sister. The way its getting to him. He needs to make sure that Anthy, and his memories, are safe. But alas- it seems she doesn’t feel the same way. She’d rather be with Utena. Hopefully, Utena can protect her where he cannot. Miki and Utena go back to being friends, and he nurses his hurt feelings privately. It wouldn't do to make a scene about it, and besides, it wasn’t appropriate for him to think of her like that anyway. Thinking about anyone like that. He can’t help but feel disgusted with himself for allowing it. Later, his relationship with his sister continues to deteriorate, and his father is remarrying. But he can stick by his principles, and stay out of it all, the dueling especially. Kozue, Touga, and Akio have other plans. He is confronted with Reality, and it terrifies him. He sees himself in the drivers seat, Anthy his. This is what he is now, no point in trying to hide from it. He challenges Utena again, taking an early advantage utilizing his new resolve and Utena’s confusion. But that resolves breaks quickly. What is Kozue doing with Anthy?

Pay attention, or you’ll lose.

Fig 6: Crash!!

Miki is disgusted with himself, his role, because he does not want it. He hates what’s happening to himself and his family. He admires Utena and Juri, for embodying his ideal self. He listens to Touga, puts up with his music teacher, even if they make him feel gross and uncomfortable, because he feels he has to and that he doesn’t have a choice. He idolizes Anthy, so much. He is attracted to her, but maybe there is something more. Maybe, Miki wishes he could be her. Miki, in my mind, is a closeted trans lesbian going through puberty as a boy. I think that part of this might be projection, perhaps. But I hope that I might have made my case using the text of the show. But even if you disagree, I hope that you might have a better appreciation for his character. I think he’s fairly consistently people’s least favorite council member as a character, but honestly he’s my favorite and I think there’s a lot more too him than a lot of people give him credit for.

Fig 7: Three Lesbians Hanging Out

… this all being said. I think it’s interesting that Miki thinks Anthy is the picture of femininity right? That this is what he wants.

In the end, all girls are like the rose bride.

Please wait patiently while I make the case, that while Miki is an egg. Anthy has long since hatched...

(And I do mean be patient! This subject, and the concept that Ohtori represents a transmisogynystic institution at its very core, is WAY more personal than this headcanon, and also is much more of a difficult thing to write for dozens of reasons. I'm still not 100% sure it would even be right of me to post my thoughts on that publicly. But if enough people are interested, maybe that would motivate me to write it!)

*What’s a good Miki essay without some sort of Stopwatch Theory tm? Well (and I freely admit much of this is probably projection, but it’s not just me projecting! It’s also my girlfriend!!), Miki seems to get very wrapped up in his own thoughts. He is very self conscious, takes the criticisms of others very seriously, and also seems to get ideas about How Things Are Going To Happen in his head. He desperately tries to make sense of his surroundings, and finds himself consistently failing to do that. So my guess is the stopwatch is a way for him to regulate and calibrate his thoughts and hypotheses and self image. He picked it up in his duty as council secretary, but its something he feels is significant outside of that. Aha moment? Click. Unexpected end to a council meeting? Click. Something go completely as expected? Click. It helps him process I think. That is my formal Stopwatch Hypothesis tm.

Supplement Fig 1: Stopwatch

#revolutionary girl utena #miki kaoru #utena tenjou #kozue kaoru #juri arisugawa #anthy himemiya #akio ohtori #analysis #spinning #hopefully this essay is readable...

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starogeorgina · 4 months

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𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞

Paring: Aegon II Targaryen × Targaryen OC, Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen OC

Warnings: Swearing, smut

1.01

You stare straight ahead as Aegon’s hips snap against your bare ass; his hands are placed firmly on your back, keeping you in place, bent over the table you often sat at while breaking fast with Helaena. Wine spilled from the jug as his rough thrusts caused the table to shake. Small splatters of the sweet-smelling liquid hit your face, leaving behind a horrid, sticky feeling. Your nipples rub against the smooth wood beneath them, which occasionally causes a spark of pain.

“Fuck!” Aegon takes a fist full of your hair and says, “You're so greedy and desperate to be filled by me that you’re sucking me dry.”

Rolling your eyes at his words, you slip a hand between your legs and begin to rub quickly at your clit, hoping to give yourself an orgasm before your husband spills his seed inside you for the second time that night. Before you got betrothed, Aegon claimed he was gentle in his touches, but the thrill of taking your maidenhood was far too exciting, and now Aegon treats you the same as the whores he visits on the street of silk.

He grunts before falling forward, putting his full weight on you, making you feel trapped beneath him. Aegon lets out a few raspy breaths before slapping your ass hard enough to leave a red mark, then pulls out of you. “I hope that will keep you satisfied for now.”

Straightening your posture, you fix your skirts and adjust the front of your dress so your breasts are no longer spilling out the front of it. “And what satisfaction was I supposed to have gotten from that? You jumped on me like a wild animal.”

Chuckling, he tucks his cock into his breeches, “the satisfaction of being full of my seed.”

Shaking your head, you bring a cup of wine to your lips, but Aegon snatches it. Since his coronation a few days prior, your brother and future husband has become almost unbearable to be around, and the power he wields has made him even more arrogant. In public, you put on the act of the perfect princess and would gush to the other ladies of court how amazing your son-to-be husband is; King Aegon seconded his name, but in the secrecy of your chamber, the facade was dropped.

“Seven Hells,” you try to grab the cup back, but he holds his hand up high, smirking as you stand on your toes and struggle to reach for it. “You’ve used me all night; now stop behaving like such a cunt!”

He grips your jaw with his free hand and says, “Careful sister, I am still your king.”

“My apologies. Please stop behaving like such a cunt, my king.”

He raises his brows, taking a gulp of wine, then holds it to your lips. He allows you a small sip, then pulls it away again. “I will have two wives, as did Aegon the conqueror, and both of them will give me heirs. But until we are wed, you’ll need to keep drinking the tea the maester brings.”

“You already have two sons and a daughter; you don’t actually need me for heirs.”

“Hmm, that’s not how the king's hand sees it.” He finishes the cup and slams it onto the table. “Now, I’m going to visit Helaena. Hopefully she’ll be more enthusiastic to see me.”

“And if not?”

He slaps your backside. “I’ll just come right back to you.”

—

“Thank you for keeping me company, brother; I know how busy you are.”

“Nonsense,” Aemond says as he walks beside you. “Although I suspect mother won’t be happy that your gown is ruined.”

Since the sun has risen, you have been searching among the flowers and bushes that grew in the gardens, keeping an eye out for caterpillars to give Helaena. Jars of them were placed upon a table in her quarters, and when they hatch from their cocoons, the twins realize them. Since it had been raining throughout the night, the bottom of your gown now looked much darker, with damp dirt sticking to it. Aemond was right; your mother most definitely wouldn’t approve of the green blending into black on your gown.

“I thought you hated wearing the color green.”

You observe the way your brother links his hands together behind his back, holding on so tight that his knuckles turn white. You usually wore silver-gray clothing to match the scales of your dragon, Seasmoke. “It’s been advised that me and our sister wear green and gold to show support for our king.”

“I saw him entering your chambers last night,” he says quietly. “I intended on returning the book you so graciously let me borrow but thought it best not to disturb the soon-to-be couple.”

You had helped Aemond learn high valyrian and would often share books about the history of your house. “You needn’t worry, brother, about returning a book. In truth, I think I misplaced the last one you gave me.”

“You mean the same one our king destroyed while inebriated?”

You smile up at him. Although Aemond was the second-youngest of your siblings, he was definitely the wisest. “How long do you think it will be until our grandsire returns from Dragonstone?”

“Not long,” he says, letting out a sigh. “I assume you’re not looking forward to his return.”

“Of course I am; he is—”

Aemond tuts, “is the reason your first marriage was dissolved, and in the place of our strong nephew, your to become a second wife.”

“I’m still surprised the faith is allowing this, or mother for that matter.”

Your grandsire was obsessed with Aegon sitting on the throne; he had started to plan Rhaenyra’s usurpation years prior. And he was trying desperately to recreate the image of Aegon the conqueror with your brother; he even suggested having two wives to mirror Visenya and Rhaenys.

“If I speak freely, you won’t think of me as a fool, will you?”

The gardens were empty at this time, aside from the knights on patrol and servants hurrying back and forth. It wasn’t often you were able to speak so openly, but Aemond never judged you. He nods for you to continue out loud with your thoughts.

“I’m a Targaryen, a dragon rider; I want to be more than just a broodmare.”

Surprised, he asks, “You want to be part of Aegon’s council?”

“Not necessarily his council... But I would like it if my future husband viewed me with respect and needs me for reasons that don’t involve squeezing out heirs. I want to do more than just my duty, I want to keep my family safe.”

Just as you reach the doors leading back into the keep, he pats your shoulder and says, “I’m sure you’ll be able to charm him into getting what you want; he does have a soft spot for you.”

—

Heart beating faster by the minute you refill the golden goblet Aegon was holding up. Anger was simmering beneath the surface, and even Sunfyre could feel it. The golden dragon was circling the sky above, roaring loudly, letting out the anger his rider was struggling to hide. “Everybody out, except Lynesse.”

You gather the goblets as each member of the small council leaves the room; surprisingly, Aegon allowed you to be present during his meetings that day as a cupbearer. Ser Criston squeezes your shoulder as he walks by, giving you a curt nod before closing the doors behind him, leaving you and Aegon alone.

Taking a moment, you lick at your lips and begin to unlace the top half of your dress so your breasts are nearly exposed. Many important things were discussed during the meeting, but you doubted Aegon wanted to rehash them, not when he had you sink to your knees and suck on his cock before the meeting started. When you turn to face him, Aegon is no longer sitting down; he is standing by the window, staring down at King's landing with a faraway look on his face.

He was scared.

Wrapping your arms around his bulky waist, you rest your cheek against his back.

“Do you know why I’m going to keep you close?” he asks, tilting his head. “Aside from having the sweetness between your legs whenever I want?”

“Aegon…” you groan at his vulgar comment.

“You won’t lie to me; everyone else is telling me what I want from hear and not telling the truth about what I did,” he says. “So tell me, do you think our sister would have killed us if she sat on the throne?”

“No.”

Aegon chuckles.

“But now that she’s been usurped, I suspect things will be different.”

“I could have your tongue removed for even suggesting such a thing.”

You took a deep breath. “You said it yourself; I won’t lie to you.”

Footsteps echoed back and forth outside the room, followed by Ser Cristion’s voice telling whoever requested an audience with the king that he was preoccupied. The thought of the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, a man who had watched over you since you were a baby, keeping guard while you engaged in premarital sexual acts with Aegon, turns your stomach.

“I never wanted it,” he whispers. “Do you think our mother lied to put me on the throne?”

“Our father had twenty years to change his mind. But no, I don’t believe she would lie, but perhaps she was misled. not that it matters now. What’s done is done; all you can do now is try to keep the casualties to a minimum.”

Aegon swallows as he slowly turns his face to you, but he stays close enough for you to keep hold of him. “What is your proposal?”

“If you want to strike the image of the conqueror, you’ll need to do what he did; he accepted counsel from his siblings, brothers, and sisters.”

Aegon stands up a little straighter, shaking his head. “When the king's hand spoke of sending ravens to different houses, you didn’t agree. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to overstep.” It was the truth; accept that it wasn’t Aegon’s reaction you feared; it was your grandsire. Otto had worked hard to have such control over your brother and would easily convince him to not allow you near any politics if he saw you as interfering.

He tuts, “What is it you wanted to say?”

“Why send ravens when you have dragon riders? Send us, me and Aemond, as envoys, just as Visenya and Rhaenys did for their brother.” Unlike Aegon, first of his name, your brother was no conqueror; he was just a boy who had been manipulated, but you did love him, the same as your other siblings. “You cannot expect proud lords to break oaths without a little convincing.”

“Okay, I’ll send you as my messenger. But what of Rhaenyra? What should I have done with her?”

“Nothing; no man or woman will follow a kinslayer. Allow her to remain as the princess of Dragonstone, and Lucerys the heir to Driftmark.” You move your hands to his face, forcing him to meet your gaze. “It’s easy for the men on your council to advise you to kill her, but the gods would disagree. Our family does not need to tear itself apart, and you don't need to be remembered as a king who killed his own sister and her children.”

His eyes gloss over, but Aegon doesn’t seem sad, but irritable, as the look he’s giving you becomes more intense. A chill runs down your spine as he runs his thumb over your bottom lip, as he seems to be contemplating something.

“Aegon?”

“Don’t ever betray me, sister, and I won’t put that pup you care about so much to the sword.”

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misc-obeyme · 5 months

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i like to imagine whenever MC is too stressed with the brothers, they call Barbatos. He and MC spend a few hours togehter and boom MC is calm again, he has such a calming aura it's impossible not to

are the brothers jealous? of course but it's either let Barbatos spend time with MC or get murdered by MC so they can't really do anything about it

This is absolutely one of my favorite things about Barbatos. Because I like to imagine the same thing. There's just something about his demeanor that is so calm, especially compared to the chaos of the brothers.

I love the bros, truly I do, but those guys are always so boisterous. And I think it makes sense that MC would need to take a break from that sometimes. It probably also depends on how well your specific MC deals with that level of nonsense. I think an extroverted MC would probably do okay, but an introverted one might struggle more.

And I see Barbatos also just knowing when MC needs a break. He can tell when MC's stress levels have gotten too high and invites them over for tea. He knows all their favorite tea blends and their favorite pastries. He asks them about their troubles and listens quietly as they tell him everything.

MC is a demon therapist, but who is MC's therapist?? Barbatos, that's who.

There's just something about the way he seems to understand and know things without being told. He's observant to the point where he understands everyone around him, including MC.

When the brothers see how relaxed MC is when they get back, they really can't complain.

Ah, I love Barbatos so much.

#I would end up at the castle a lot I think lol #give me those calm competent vibes please #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me barbatos #avatar0fpr1de #misc answers

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hana-no-seiiki · 1 year

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𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐋 𝐎𝐂! [ 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐈 ] 𝐱 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐔𝐏! 𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

— [ 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ] ( full drawing at the end of post )

𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐌. This was the norm with idols. Nothing was wrong with such a premise you surmised, as only fools would believe their idols act the same on camera and behind. It was simple. They had an image and a personality, two completely different things in the entertainment world.

Hayate’s image was this brash, straight to the point, no nonsense person. A man who did not care much about looks, but was completely devoted to the art of music. A startling contrast to his angel like singing voice. Gap Moe, as his fans and manager would put it.

Hayate’s personality behind the cameras however, is what you would say an almost complete one-eighty.

The bi-colored haired boy was total skincare fanatic, he loved fashion, planning out his looks, journaling, and working out for the sake of keeping his body in shape. You say almost because he was incredulously meticulous either-way. You never met a man who was so passionate that it often infected you to do the same in your career and life. He enjoyed idol-work, breathed it, and deserved every bit of success he’d gotten so far.

He was also, still brash even behind the scenes.

“Why the hell would you be jealous of me?” To many, Hayate’s voice was intimidating — rough, and quite loud. It was jarring to see him switching from his speaking one to his singing. But to you who had spend far too long with this man, it was normal. And sometimes normal was something to crave for.

And boy did Hayate enjoy those normal moments between you two.

“Hayate, who wouldn’t be jealous of a man whose group had won several awards in their rookie years, now topping every chart.”

“A complete All-Kill, innit?” Your co-worker spoke from a couple of feet away. He was in charge of styling Hayate’s mess of a hair. The two of you are the only people capable of being physically close to him, aside from his members without being mauled. And you mean mauled in every sense of the term.

“Besides that, you��re just so motivated all the time. It’s like you have endless energy to do what you have to do.”

You noticed Hayate visibly relax, his tense posture almost escaping your eyes earlier. You make a mental note to bring him out to rest again one day. Most likely after your pay-day. Hayate always offered to pay for stuff you two bought on an outing but you just couldn’t do him like that.

Your co-worker chimed in again, “Meanwhile [Y/N] is here downing several [Fave Caffeinated Drink] just to get through the day.”

“Why are you here again?” You and Hayate deadpanned in sync, earning a laugh from all three of you in the room.

“I just . . . have a good. . . source of motivation.” The singer gave you a heavy, alluring stare. His muscle tee allowing you to view his neck slowly turning scarlet.

“He’s all red.”

“Fuck, I completely forgot to blend his neck! Wait, where’s my foundation brush?!” You screeched, running out to find wherever it could have gotten to in the building, knowing you most likely forgot it in the another member’s room. Either completely unaware of Hayate’s intense look, or simply too dense to understand the connotation of it.

Your colleague snorted as the door closed behind you, “You’re going to have to be more obvious than that lover boy, they’re worse than a brick wall.”

“. . .”

“Not even a sure, mate?” The British man sighed. It was always like this. Whenever you were out Hayate would just go silent. Only ever speaking to direct the stylist’s actions. You always insisted that your client saw you two as equal as you’ve never witnessed him acting this way, and every time the hair stylist spoke to you about it he could feel the menacing glare down his spine just provoking him to speak so that Hayate would pounce at an excuse to fire and sue him for defamation.

Once he was done styling the idol’s hair, Mr. Co-Worker backed off immediately. Knowing full well of the consequences of lingering around Hayate any longer.

“I’m back!” You hollered, a limp on your step due to a large man glomping you from behind.

“And who’s that behind you?” Your co-worker sighed. With you around his risk of dying goes down by at least 70%.

“Ehe.” But with Eve of all people to rile Hayate up, he’ll have to crank those chances back up again. The visual of the group had apparently stolen it earlier when he came by to do his daily dues in pushing Hayate one step further to an aneurysm. It was an important duty he had to fulfill as a member of Yesterday’s Dawn, and bringing you into the mix happened to annoy the vocalist the most.

“Don’t ehe me, Soo-bitch! Get the hell out of my make-up room!”

Eve smooches you on the cheek before promptly sticking his tongue out, “BLEGHHHHHH!!!”

You froze in response.

You see the veins protruding on Hayate’s temples and neck, reminding you of the job you came into the room to properly finish. Angry Hayate was something you haven’t seen in a while, but experienced has taught you not to react much and proceed with your job as if he isn’t planning several ways of mutilation at the moment.

It worked as moments later he calmed down and began chatting with you again.

Perhaps you should retract your judgment of his character. Hayate didn’t have sides he just had layers, and you his beloved make-up artist, were in the deepest one.

@yesterdaysdawnofficial just posted something! Check it out?

❤️ 💬 ✈️

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yesterdaysdawnofficial just two pretty bois uwu -eve

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maniacforhayate AAAAAAAA OPPAR SaRANGhae

yesterdaysstan in this part of the ydjungle we see hayatus sasakus warding off one of his potential mates via hypnosis. completely uninterested.

_sanctuary_of_flowers_ *fanfic typing intensifies*

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE ]

Hayate was pretty much born from my weird obsession with working out and practicing the violin lately. My parents said that I look and sound hella constipated doing both and so an emotionally constipated yandere just came into mind.

also i “referenced” that one photo of jungkook holding a mirror to jimin’s meme face for this in case you thought the artwork looked familiar. tried using a new hair coloring style ehe.

UNEDITED

want more content like this? check my masterlist or the first few tags for more specific posts.

©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023. artworks, characters, and story belongs to me. please do not redistribute, repost, or translate without permission.

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artemis32 · 6 months

Text

vagabond

my batfam obsession has finally come in handy (reader is like, late teens, early twenties??)

This was meant to be a drabble, but I went a teeny tiny bit overboard, and by overboard, I mean this is 5.6k words - there will also definitely be a part two <33

Enjoy :)) Or don't. I can't tell you what to do

****

dc masterlist

****

“Okay,

Let’s do this one last time

My name?? You don’t need to know my name. All you need to know is that I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last six years, I’ve been the one, and only, Recluse.

….what? Spiderman?

No, no, none of that nonsense. That’s so overused. Plus, I’m a woman, and Spiderwoman just feels like a bit of a mouthful.

Yeah… Recluse. I was bitten by a recluse spider.

…ironically, I hate spiders.”

****

Hear me out.

You’re a Spider person(??), involved in the Spider verse. You have the usual Spiderman backstory (sort of), and you’ve got the same incredible senses and abilities. I imagine you having a slightly superior spider sense and speed compared to other Spiders – think Cindy Moon. And obviously, the name, Recluse, means you were bitten by a recluse spider (I fucking hate spiders), but that also means that you get all the qualities of a recluse spider. Mainly necrotic venom and the ability to camouflage. You can’t exactly turn invisible, you just have the uncanny ability of blending in like a chameleon. It’s kind of creepy, I won’t lie.

Regardless of your abilities, you were there when Miguel lost his temper and when Miles ran away.

Except you made the mistake of trying to help Miles. Why wouldn’t you? He was just a child, and he only wanted to keep his family safe. Anyone else would’ve done the same in his position. Suffice it to say, that pissed Miguel off. Majorly.

And while Miles managed to get away without a dimension-travelling watch, you weren't as fortunate. You fought tooth and nail with other Spiders, not wanting to hurt them and not wanting to get caught. You barely managed to escape with your life as you tapped a random location into your watch and zapped off to another earth without a second thought or a proper plan. But not before the Spiders giving chase had managed to damage your watch (and you - they’re strong as fuck, of course they managed to do some damage).

Now, as you stand on an empty rooftop, examining your watch in the rain, you're beginning to think you may have fucked up.

Slightly.

The watch still prevents you from glitching, you've confirmed that much. Thank goodness.

But it is broken. You know it is. Because you can't reach anyone else in the Spider verse. And you can't see what universe you're in. You feel like you’ve been thrown in the deep end, and the fact that you can barely stand doesn’t help.

****

Stood in the rain on a rooftop in the middle of nowhere, injured and all but stranded, was not how you had planned on spending your Saturday night.

As you distractedly tinker with the watch in a pathetic attempt to fix it, grumbling to yourself about your ruined weekend place, your spider sense goes haywire, ringing so loudly in your ears that your head spins.

You're so disoriented that you barely manage to dodge the dagger thrown your way.

A dagger that's... shaped like a plane? No, it looked more like a bird?

You step back cautiously as a man emerges from the shadows, jumping down from a ledge just above your head.

He’s dressed strangely, which is one hell of a statement coming from you, someone dressed in a skintight spider suit. But-

“Really? A cape? Isn’t that, like, super impractical?”

The question leaves your mouth before you can think about it, but really – did Edna Mode teach people nothing?

He walks closer without a word. His silence is almost as unsettling as his gaze. It feels as if he’s dissecting you. He keeps a safe distance between the two of you.

Hm, he’s not completely lacking in the common-sense department, at least.

Then, after much deliberation, he speaks.

“That light- you fell from the sky?”

His voice was cautious, every word measured and serious. His eyes scanned you from top to bottom, taking in your appearance without a word.

You sigh and prop a hand on your hip, trying to appear nonchalant, trying desperately not to wince at the flaring pain in your ribs. You were in no position to fight, so you’d either have to run, or talk your way to safety.

If there was one thing you were good at, it was talking.

“Yep. You’re so observant.”

He scowls, his mouth pinching slightly at the corners.

Okay, maybe sassing the man with a dorky superhero cape isn’t a great idea… At least, not while I can barely stand.

So you change tactics.

“I’m sorry, I just- Look, uh, where exactly am I?”

The look on his face tells you that that was not the right question to ask.

Great. A sceptic. That’s exactly what I needed.

So you backtrack, laughing awkwardly as you wave your hands dismissively.

“That was a… a joke- A terribly timed joke. I apologise. Uh, your suit is… nice?”

Now he seems more exasperated than cautious, and he takes a step closer, reaching a hand out towards you.

Your spider sense flares, and you know that something about this man is dangerous. He appears young and relatively harmless, but appearances can be deceiving, you of all people know that.

So, you do the only thing you can think of at that moment. The only command your instincts give you. You jump away.

You jump.

And, naturally, you stick to the wall.

It’s nothing. It’s such a small action, one you’re more than accustomed to. You do it all the time, climbing walls and ceilings, scaling the sides of buildings. Other Spiders do it too. Even the civilians back on your own earth are used to it.

But it’s not nothing.

The man before you seems stunned beyond words, his outstretched hand hanging in midair as his jaw drops. He stares at you as you stand there, exactly perpendicular to him, sticking to the wall and defying all laws of nature as if it’s nothing.

His hand clenches in a fist and he reaches for a bo staff, the metal snapping loudly as he swings it outwards, the leather of his glove creaking as he tightens his grip.

“Who are you? Your name. Now.” he demands, his jaw clenched tightly.

You tilt your head.

Was this guy an idiot? The first rule of secret identities is that they’re, y’know, secret?

“Oh, well, I’m Recluse. Who are you?”

He ignores your question, slowly approaching you again, looking at you curiously. It might have seemed innocent to a third party, but your head was still ringing. You couldn’t let this man get too close to you.

You sigh heavily.

Running it is.

You point your arm outwards, startling the man, who takes a wary step back. Before he can react or reach for you, you shoot a web out and swing away. His bo staff slams against the wall seconds after you leapt from it, the wall denting and crumbling from the force of his swing.

The look on his face was priceless, first fear at the sight of you jumping over the edge of the building, then surprise, then a flash of anger as you mockingly saluted him as you swung away. You’d laugh if your ribs didn’t feel like they were seconds away from shattering.

You swing through the unfamiliar city, the buildings passing by you in a flash. Coming to a stop is painful, your head swimming as you nearly slam into the side of an apartment building.

Thank God for spider-like adhesion.

You sit there for a long moment, taking a second to catch your breath and gather your bearings.

After you've managed to shake the dizziness away, you swing to the street down below.

While you think over your piss poor plan of finding some civilian clothing and learning more about this universe, you try to ignore the aching throb in your ribs. You weren’t too concerned about the injury – one advantage of being Spiderwoman was that you healed at an incredible rate. You’d just have to grin and bear until you healed.

****

Wayne Enterprises.

They specialised in a whole lot, but all that really interested you was their science division. In particular, the tech and biotech sector. The company seemed eerily similar to variations of other mega corporations you’d seen in your time travelling through the multiverse.

Stark Enterprises. Alchemax. Oscorp Industries. Roxxon Energy Corporation.

The list was endless, but you’d decided, after hours spent in a cramped internet café doing informal research on the strange dimension you found yourself in, that investigating Wayne Enterprises was the best place to start if you hoped to ever fix the watch and return home.

Your plan of action was simple. Scratch that, it was terrible - held together with little more than hopes and prayers. But with your abilities, you were confident you could pull it off.

That’s how you found yourself confidently walking through the foyer of Wayne Enterprises, acting as if you were supposed to be there. Swiping an access card off of some poor, unsuspecting office worker was easier than it should have been.

You wandered around the reception area for a while, carefully surveying the room before approaching the elevator with the air of someone who knew where they were going.

There’ll be signs for each division… Right?

Wrong.

Twenty minutes later, you’re still wandering aimlessly through corridors, hoping the right room would magically present itself to you.

So caught up in your own frustrated musings, you nearly miss the department you’d spent almost an hour looking for.

The sign above the door is pathetic - faded and barely visible, peeling and yellowed at the edges, like some old poster left out in the sun to age.

Shoving your irritation to the back of your mind, you quietly open the door, wincing as it creaks. Popping your head through the gap, you peek around the small room, and-

Nothing.

It’s completely empty, the thick layer of dust settled over the countertops seeming to mock your failure of a heist.

A silent huff of annoyance is all you allow yourself, quickly shutting the door and continuing on your way. Determination fuels your every step, intent to find something, anything, so that your breaking-and-entering excursion wouldn’t be for nothing.

****

Success.

You definitely weren’t supposed to be in here. Not that you were supposed to be in the building in general, but this?

‘This’ being what appeared to be the CEO’s personal office, if the floor to ceiling windows and expensive leather furniture was anything to go by.

You’d long since discarded any pretence of searching for the biotech department. Now, you were just snooping around, curious to see what exactly the CEO of Wayne Enterprises had laying around.

Naturally, you’d come across a few pictures of him in your investigation of Wayne Enterprises, and all you’d thought about the moment you’d seen his photo, was that Bruce Wayne was undoubtedly one of the most attractive men you’d ever met.

If you weren’t caught in such a dire situation, you might have taken the time to fawn over him a while longer.

The office is odd. There’s something about it that you can’t quite put your finger on, something uncanny. Maybe it’s that lack of colour or warmth, or the lack of any personal effects.

But that couldn’t be it. You’d seen plenty of rooms similarly decorated, but there was something about this in particular that set your hair on end. Not your spider sense, but your unconscious mind.

It almost felt as if you were being… observed. As if an unseen force was breathing down your neck, pinning you in place.

You distract yourself from your ever growing unease, pulling open drawers and rifling through cabinets.

What an obscene amount of paperwork.

Truly, you don’t expect to find anything exciting or noteworthy. Maybe an office cellarette, maybe a Courtesan cigar.

What you don’t expect is to find the parts you needed to fix your watch.

The parts that were supposed to have been in the biotech department.

Before you have much time to contemplate about why the tech worth billions is shoved behind a bookshelf, the door opens.

You’re on the ceiling before he even enters the room, your breath tight in your chest, the klystron conductor clutched firmly in your fist as you try not to make any sudden movements.

Certain abilities you’d gotten as a result of the spider that bit you came in handy more often than not, namely the capability to survive weeks, if not months without food or water, and the preternatural proficiency you had hunting at night. Most useful had to be your camouflage abilities.

And while you were able to camouflage yourself, it came with its own set of drawbacks and caveats. Specifically in the fact that it was a camouflaging ability, not invisibility.

If you moved too suddenly, even someone unaware would notice you.

It takes you a moment to realise that the man is Bruce Wayne.

He looks different than in the photos - his back is broader, his hair darker, and his eyes…

His eyes-

Your head feels like it’s being split open, a buzzing so persistent filling your ears that you almost slip off the wall, your adhesion faltering for a moment.

There had been one or two stories within the Spider Society, of moments where someone's spider sense had gone so haywire they couldn’t tell up from down. There’d been a time where, supposedly, someone had even passed out from the pounding pressure in their skull.

Initially, you’d thought it was an exaggeration, a newfound hero overplaying a fight gone wrong in an attempt to save face.

Now, as he surveys the room, his azure eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than they should, you understand what they meant.

Panic isn’t enough to describe how you feel at that moment.

You feel too exposed, your nerves raw and laid bare.

It… almost feels as if he knows you’re there.

But that’s not possible. There’s no way.

You allow yourself the slightest sigh of relief, releasing the searing breath in your chest as he turns, moving towards his desk.

His silhouette is broad and domineering as he bows over his laptop, the sound of his tapping at the keys filling the sweltering silence of the room.

With his back turned towards you, you take your chance, slowly, so slowly making your way across the room, still sticking to the ceiling all the while.

You pause for a moment, freezing when you catch a glimpse of what exactly is on his screen.

The camera feed.

There you are.

Entering his office with a wide eyed look on your face.

And-

And that’s you, barely ten minutes ago, rifling through drawers and shelves.

He pauses then, on the frame of you holding the klystron conductor with a satisfied smile and a slight sparkle in your eyes. He sighs heavily, his head dropping forward as he taps two fingers against the tabletop.

You don’t linger to see his reaction, dropping down from the ceiling and slinking out the ajar door.

****

After you’d hightailed it out of the building as soon as you could, you hadn’t dared to look back.

That man… Something about him set your nerves on edge. He wasn’t normal.

Thankfully, you’d managed to get out without much hassle, and now you were wandering somewhat aimlessly through the city, looking for a place to set up shop, so to speak.

Spying a seemingly abandoned building across the street, you decided it would have to do for now.

As you cross the road, aiming for the darkened alleyway across the road, you’re slammed off of your feet.

By a car.

Someone hit you with a goddamn car.

You lay there, in the entryway of the alley, gasping for breath as you press your forehead to the wet concrete beneath you. But no matter how deeply you breathe, you can’t seem to force yourself to your feet.

Spider sense my ass – what the fuck was that?! No warning, nothing!

The edges of your vision turn black, and you pray that you don’t pass out as a pair of polished black leather shoes approach you.

A man crouches down in front of you, his words drowned out by the ringing in your ears.

He reaches out to you, intent on pressing his palm to your shoulder.

You pass out before he can touch you.

****

You might’ve been unconscious for a few hours or or a few weeks. You weren’t sure.

All you knew was that you were in what appeared to be a medical facility, and you were restrained.

On the bright side, you felt a ton better than you had before you passed out. Though a look around proved that it might have been because of whatever concoction of drugs they’d given you to numb the pain.

Well, with your increased metabolism, that comfort probably wouldn’t last too long.

You lay back, content to stay there until a doctor or nurse came in to check on you.

Twenty minutes later, long after the medication had worn off, someone entered the room.

The man, grey-haired and dressed in an immaculately pressed tuxedo, pauses for a moment when he realises that you’re awake before continuing on his course towards you and proceeding to check your vitals.

“How long have you been awake, Miss?”

You don’t respond.

Or rather, you can’t.

Pain grips you like a vice, wrapping its fingers around your abdomen, digging its claws into your skull.

Stupid damned metabolism.

Apparently, your pain and distress are visible enough for the old gentleman to see.

He frowns, leaning closer slightly for a moment before striding towards a row of cabinets, sifting through them before returning with a needle and a small glass vial. He squints slightly as he fills the needle.

A lot of what happens after that is lost to you in your pained daze. You’re awake, aware, but barely.

The older man is gone by the time you manage to pull yourself out of the strange, aching daze.

In his stead is Bruce Wayne.

The heart monitor betrays your panic, the sharp beeping filling the echoing space of the room.

He doesn’t speak or move from his spot beside your bed, instead observing you with a flat look as your heart rate slowly evens out again.

After a long bout of silence, he hold up a hand, waving it slightly, and-

And he’s holding the klystron conductor.

Of course.

“Do you want to tell me why you were ransacking my office for a multibillion dollar piece of tech?”

Your hands clench and unclench around the stiff sheets, and you lick your lips before responding.

“No, not particularly.”

You pause.

“Do you want to tell me why you hit me with your car?”

The corner of his mouth twitches.

He finds this funny?! What a psycho.

“Well, you did steal from me.”

“So you hit me with a car?!”

He raises an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed with your raised tone.

“Regardless… I’m guessing it has something to do with this.”

Every muscle in your body goes rigid as he holds up your watch, casually dangling it from his forefinger as he carefully observes you for any signs of a reaction.

Okay, okay, just… play it cool.

“What, a watch? Pfft, keep it, it’s not worth much. Just some piece of crap I won in a claw machine ten years ago.”

Your knuckles are white from the force of your grip as you all but strangle the bed sheets beneath your grasp.

He smirks slightly, nodding empathetically.

“Ah, of course. So, you won’t mind if I toss it in the trash, right? Since it’s just an old piece of crap and all that?”

You shrug, keeping your eyes on his and away from the watch. “Go for it.”

And he does.

He tosses it in the trash can beside your cot, still watching closely from some reaction.

You remain nonchalant.

“...hm, well. Rest up then. You’ll need all your energy- Prison in Gotham is a harsh place.”

You blanch.

“Prison? But- But technically I didn’t even steal! You got it back, didn’t you?”

His mouth quirks slightly at that.

Great. He finds amusement in my suffering.

“While that’s true, you did break into Wayne Enterprises. And my personal office. I have the evidence. That’s grounds enough for an arrest, wouldn’t you agree?”

He stands, sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a casual stance.

Fine. I can play along for a bit.

“...okay. I-I’m sorry. Fine, you can hand me over to the cops, just- Just please let me rest for a bit? I think you might’ve concussed me.”

He huffs a laugh, his eyes lighting up in amusement. He knows you’re lying. And you know he knows.

“Okay. Take all the time you need.”

He leaves without another word, not looking back.

And not a moment too soon.

As the door shuts, you glitch, painfully spasming, your cells electrified and fizzing.

You fall out the cot, collapsing onto the floor as you grip the edge of the trash can, rifling through it in your search for the watch.

Slipping it onto your wrist and tightening the clasp, you-

…this isn’t my watch.

The door opens again and in strolls the culprit, a self-satisfied look in his eyes.

“Just a piece of junk, huh?”

“Oh, fuck y-”

You almost bite your tongue off mid sentence as you glitch again, clinging to the railing of the cot as your muscles stiffen up and your blood roils in your veins.

He’s speaking, confused and panicked as he calls out to you, and then someone else, rushing towards you. You think his hands might be on your arms. You aren’t sure.

Then it’s over. You’re hunched over, all but sprawled on the sparkling white tiles, shivering and sweaty, fighting the urge to throw up.

But it’s over.

You squint up at Bruce.

His face is hazy, and so is the figure behind his.

Everything is hazy, but you can feel the strap of your watch on your wrist, his hand just above it. You can feel how dry your mouth is, and the pounding of the growing migraine in your temples. And you can feel your spider sense tickling the edge of your consciousness, slowly growing in urgency with each passing moment.

“What the hell was that?”

The voice is a new one, one you haven’t heard before. It belongs to the figure lingering behind Bruce.

His face comes into focus as the effects of your glitch wear off.

Blue eyes. Just as startling and off putting as Bruce’s.

In fact, he seems like a carbon copy. Almost. His skin seems slightly more tanned, and he’s leaner than his older companion. Shorter too, though just by a few inches.

“That…” you say in a weary manner, “was a glitch. A painful one. I don’t recommend trying it.”

“A glitch?”

You deadpan, pushing yourself into a sitting position, leaning against the wall adjacent to your cot for support.

“Yeah. I just said that. Pay attention.”

“So that watch keeps you from… ‘glitching’ then?”

Bruce and his companion sport matching expressions of intrigue and dread.

“Yep. Ten points to Gryffindor.”

“...what’s a Gryffindor?”

Good God, I should’ve let Miguel kill me.

“...doesn’t matter. I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

You get up with an embarrassing amount of difficulty, grunting as you pull yourself up using the cot’s railing. Your enhanced healing could only work so fast, it seemed, and clearly Bruce had done a number on you with the bumper of his car.

The short stride to the door is cut short as the young Bruce lookalike steps in front of you.

“Sorry, but we can’t let you leave just yet. Where exactly are you from?”

“Earth. Please move.”

“I can’t do that. You should sit back down, you don’t look too hot.”

You let out a strangled noise of disbelief.

“Excuse me, I look very hot. All the time.”

A deadpan look is all you’re granted in response.

That’s it, I’ve had enough.

“Seriously. Move.”

“No. Sit down.”

Bruce sighs, massaging the bridge of his nose as you and his mini-me engage in a stare down.

“Okay, that’s enough. Dick, back up. Miss, please, sit down before you hurt yourself.”

You pause, glancing at Bruce, then back at the man in front of you.

There’s a slight pause, and then-

You burst into a fit of giggles, clutching your pained ribs as you stumble back and collapse onto the cot.

“Your name is Dick? Dick? Seriously?”

His eyes harden at your laughter, his mouth pressed in a tight line.

“...it’s not that funny,” he mutters, unimpressed.

“Yeah it is. Who willingly allows themselves to be called Dick? I can think of six penis jokes off the top of my head. You’re practically begging for them.”

Bruce interjects before either one of you can continue, sending Dick a sharp look.

Ha. Dick.

“That’s enough. What I want to know is why you’re glitching. And you won’t be going anywhere until I find out.”

You deadpan, fixing him with an incredulous look.

“...no offence, but you can’t really keep me here.”

“I can, and I will.”

You snort, laughter bubbling up in your chest once more.

“No, I mean- You can try, but you probably won’t succeed. No hard feelings though.”

“What, you mean because of your superpowers? Trust me, they won’t do you much good around here.”

His words give you pause, and you stare up at him silently for a moment.

“I don’t- What are you talking about?”

“There’s no use playing dumb,” Dick interjects. “It won’t get you very far. We know about your abilities, and we’re telling you that we know about them so that you don’t try anything.”

“And what exactly do you plan on doing if I do try something? Money can only get you so far.”

Your words make Bruce’s mouth twitch into a small smile once again.

“I have a theory, one I hope you’ll entertain for a moment.”

He looks at you expectantly.

After a moment of deliberation, a heavy sigh, and a nod, he smiles in a self-satisfied manner and takes a seat on the foot of your bed. After a short nod to Dick, he exits the room, leaving you and Bruce alone.

“I think that you’re from Earth, like you said. Just not this Earth. I think that you’re from another universe or dimension, and you’re ‘glitching’ because you’re not meant to be here. Am I right?”

It’s an effort to hide your reaction and keep your face blank, but you manage. Barely.

“Well, that’s certainly an… interesting theory. What sparked that idea?”

He shifts, staring at you for a moment, resting his palms on his thighs.

“...you fell from the sky. Out of what I can only assume is a portal. And your cells are basically decaying without that watch- or at least, that’s what my colleagues at Star Labs tell me.”

You stiffen at his words, squinting for a beat.

“How do you know I came through a portal? The only person around then was that idiot with the cape.”

Bruce frowns at your words.

“The cape isn’t stupid. It’s practical.”

You deadpan. “It’s a deathtrap.”

“Regardless. I know about all that because…”

He pauses.

“Because I’m Batman.”

“...Batman? Is that supposed to be a superhero alias or something? That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard- Did you pick it yourself?”

He lets out a noise of exasperation, annoyance painting his features.

“Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Changing the topic. It’s annoying.”

“...sorry.”

He shakes his head. “So? Am I correct in my assumption?”

You take a moment to think, really think, weighing your options. He didn’t seem like a bad person. Yes, he did hit you with his car. And yes, he wouldn’t let you leave, but…

But your spider sense had gone radio silent. If you were in any danger, it’d be ringing like crazy, so…

“Yes. Yeah, you are. I’m not from this Earth. I’m from Earth 662.”

“Earth… 662?”

“I just said that. Does everyone on this Earth struggle with processing information?”

He fixes you with a stern look before continuing on.

“So I assume you’re stranded here? That’s why you were trying to steal the klystron conductor.”

“Uh uh,” you tut disapprovingly. “I was borrowing it. I would’ve returned it… Eventually.”

Bruce nods along, rolling his eyes slightly as he continues.

“...Earth 662, huh… How many variations of Earth are there then-”

“I can’t tell you that.”

Your response is immediate and stern, leaving no room for debate.

Thankfully, Bruce doesn’t kick up a fuss.

“Hm… Well then, do you know how to get back?”

“Of course I do. I just need to fix up the watch. Hence the little heist I pulled off at your office.”

“And do you know how to fix it?”

You press your mouth into a tight line, avoiding the knowing look he gives you.

“Well, I mean… how hard can it be?”

He sighs. “That’s what I thought you’d say.”

There’s a pause, a lull in the conversation, and neither of you say anything for a long while, both lost in your own thoughts.

“Okay. Here’s what I propose. You obviously don’t know what you’re doing-”

“Hey!”

“-so I’ll help you out. I’ll help fix that watch of yours, and let you stay with me while we try to find you a way back home. In exchange, you’ll tell me about things from your Earth, and about the multiverse. Sound fair?”

As much as you’d like to argue, to refuse his more than generous offer, you know you can’t. You were smart, but not in the areas needed to fix the watch.

You needed his help.

Damn it.

“...fine. Deal.”

His hand feels cool and calloused in yours, and his grip is firm and reassuring.

If only you knew then how wrong things would go. Maybe you’d have refused his deal.

****

Four months later.

“...still nothing?”

“No. I’m sorry. I’ve sent Dick to Central City to find a few more parts.”

“It’s not your fault, I just… I really want to go home.”

It had been months.

You’d been stuck on this strange Earth, so similar to your own, for months.

While the Wayne Manor was nice, and its inhabitants lovely, you missed your home. You missed your family.

But there was nothing to be done about it. You’d damaged your watch more than you’d originally thought, the travel mechanism was completely destroyed.

Initially, you’d been foolishly optimistic, believing you’d return home within a week.

But that week had passed. Then another. And another.

Time kept passing, and you were still stuck here, four months later.

At least you had decent company.

While you didn’t exactly trust them, you’d grown fond of them. You might even have begun to consider them friends.

Dick had grown on you over the months, despite the rocky start to your friendship. He was reliable in a way that reminded you too much of the many variations of Peter Parker you’d met throughout your time in the Spider Society.

Tim, who you’d discovered was the ‘idiot in the cape’ you’d met on your first night on this Earth, was just as easy to get along with. At first, he’d thrown you off a bit with his unsociable personality, but he’d slowly opened up over time. Really, he was more of a nerd than anything else.

And he’d heeded your words of wisdom regarding the cape.

Damian, Bruce’s ‘prodigee’, was someone you still had trouble getting along with. Your relationship had improved over the months, but barely. Before, he’d outright ignore your presence. Now, he at least graced you with a nod of acknowledgement or the occasional verbal greeting.

How kind of him.

Bruce had become somewhat of a parental figure after he had walked in on you crying one night. While you were embarrassed, he’d taken it in stride, comforting you as best as he could, reassuring you that they’d find a way to send you back home.

“Oh, I know, I know. We’re all trying our best, just… try to be patient. We’ll find something soon, I promise.”

His palms rest on your shoulders, patting you reassuringly.

You nod in agreement, too tired and disheartened to say anything else as you mumble something about going to bed, turning to leave the room.

****

“And you’re sure no one knows she’s here? If they found out…”

“Yes Dick, I’m sure. I’m not an idiot, I know how to wipe a hard drive.”

There’s a slight lull in conversation as the two wait for the rest of the group to arrive.

A few minutes later, Bruce enters the room, Damian trailing behind him.

He walks to where the two are seated and puts the klystron conductor on the table before them.

“That’s the last one. Have you done everything else?”

Tim nods, gesturing to a singular hard drive placed on the coffee table.

“That’s the only remaining evidence of her presence on this Earth.”

Bruce nods and sighs, looking between the three men with him before Dick interjects.

“Do you- I mean, are we really going to do this? We’re supposed to be the heroes. This… This isn’t something we can undo.”

All three of his companions hold a steely glint in their eyes as they nod.

“I’m sure. It’s better this way. She’s just a kid, she doesn’t know what she needs. She’ll thank us for this in a few years.”

There’s a tense pause for a moment before he speaks again.

“Do it.”

And just like that, the final klystron conductor is destroyed, along with any hope you’d had of returning home.

“...she’ll thank us.”

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r0ttenhearts · 8 days

Text

cold heart

xiao x reader

sypnosis: with a new job as the desk secretary for the wangshu inn, you meet a very reserved xiao who seems to open up to you.

warnings: angst, no comfort, situationship-ish, abandonment

summer in liyue was always something you looked forward to every year. but this year you wouldn’t be enjoying the summer heat that liyue had to offer, instead you’d be enjoying the view from high above at the wangshu inn. your summer job manning the desk was just something you decided to pick up as your summer seemed to be isolating at home. with no one to talk to, your early summer days had all blended into one loop you couldn’t stand. so, here you were. seated at the desk with paperwork in front of you.

you didn’t have much complaints about your job, it was light and easy, and came with its own perks like free lunch down below where you worked. but something interested you more than the free lunch.

a boy with teal hair and piercing golden eyes. he seemed to take up most of your daydreams lately. he had introduced himself to you the first day you came to work here, coming to chat a few times here and there, but never staying for long. he reminded you of a cat almost. skittish but free.

lately he has been visiting you more and more often during your shift. you two seemed to never run out of things to talk about. time passed by quickly when you were with him, but your heart ached with his absence that would always inevitably come. silly girl, crushing on the wangshu inn’s yaksha.

you sighed, checking the time as the sun was setting. xiao hadn’t come by today, something unusual from your now daily routine. the aching, sinking feeling sat in the pit of your stomach. the same feeling you would get at home before you got this job.

your chair squeaked noisily against the wooden floors as you pushed your seat back, going up to the balcony for a view of the setting sun. the sunset during the hot summer season always seemed to comfort you.

resting your cheek against your palm lazily, you wondering what xiao was doing as you gazed at the sky. had he gotten busy with one of his tasks for zhongli? or did he just not want to see you?

“you appear lost in thought.”

your eyes widened as your head whipped to the side. there he was. the man who haunted your dreams.

“xiao! where have you been?”

you worriedly scanned his features for any sign of injury.

“i apologize, (y/n). a job for morax ran longer than i anticipated.”

xiao gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze as he looked back out to the sky in front of him.

“no one has ever seemed so anxious for my arrival as you have, (y/n).” xiao spoke quietly.

anxiety bubbled in your chest, was he upset or annoyed by this? you wrung your hands nervously under the wooden balcony. “im sorry if that bothers you xiao.”

xiao laughed at your nervous response. “nonsense, (y/n). it pleases me that someone seems so.. happy to see me.” xiao turned his attention to you now, the setting sun turning from dusk to night. “you know, my heart is very small and cold as i don’t hold much interest in others or anything at all. but i promise you, (y/n), you have a cozy spot deep within my heart.”

that warm sensation you always felt whenever you were with him seemed to amplify with his words. he never voiced any of this to you before. it was a nice surprise.

“you have a spot in my heart too, xiao. i’m happy it’s a mutual feeling.” you smiled gently at him, noticing him inching closer to you. he pulled you by your arm gently, embracing you.

you had never gotten this close to him before as he shyed away from most close interactions. but you could feel so much with this new development. you could feel his warmth, the smell of his hair, and the beating of your heart.

“i care so much for you, (y/n). i hope you know that” xiao whispered before gently kissing your head, taking a step back and disappearing into mist.

this time you didn’t feel an ache in your heart, but excitement for your newfound progression in your relationship with xiao. your head felt light and “fuzz” almost, this warm feeling consuming your being.

you went home that night with a skip in your step, looking forward to your next day of work. how silly it was to you, looking forward to a job for some boy. you had never found yourself looking forward to such things before.

xiao would arrive at his usual time the next day, with a bowl of almond tofu in his hands. you both sat together and had lunch, discussing your plans for the coming weekend.

“so, (y/n).” you looked up at him from your plate of matsutake meat rolls. “there is a performance i plan on attending at the zubayr theatre in sumeru. i was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to it.”

you nodded immediately, “yes, of course i’ll go with you.”

excitement racked your entire being. xiao invited you to an outing? and outside of the inn? your heart raced with the possibilities of what could happen between you both as you got ready for the performance the next day.

xiao showed up at your doorstep, a small smile on his face as he asked you if you were ready to go. with a small nod of your head, his slender fingers gripped onto you tightly, holding you against his side, and in a blink of your eyes you found yourself in front of the theatre.

you had been here before a few times, but your visits to other regions had been few and very spaced out. but this time you had something to remember it better.

xiao took your hand, leading you inside as you both made your way to the front row. in the glistening of the theatre, xiao looked ethereal. his teal hair framing his face perfectly, his eyes shimmering with excitement as dancers walked on stage. you were more enamored with him than the performance.

it was a side of xiao you had never seen before. genuine excitement on his face as he squeezed your hand. you both watched as the dancers floated across the stage, in sync, silks fluttering with their movement.

applause erupted from xiao’s hands as the performance ended, standing up and clapping for the dancers. you stood up, clapping next to him, noticing a small grin on his face when you both met each others eyes for the first time since the performance started.

“that was beautiful.” you remarked as you both walked outside the theatre. “thank you for inviting me to come and see it.”

xiao nodded, taking your hand once more. “they have shows every friday evening. i always come to see them, maybe you’d like to accompany me to more of them?” he asked quietly, gazing at you as you looked ahead. you turned your head, meeting his gaze as you smiled, “i’d really love to come to more of these, i really enjoyed it.” xiao nodded, a smile on his face as he squeezed your hand before pulling you close to him once more.

you closed your eyes at the sudden movement, only to see your front door once you opened them. “have a good night, (y/n).” xiao kissed your cheek briefly before disappearing once again. your fingertips ghosted over the cheek that he kissed. you were looking forward to more of these special moments shared with him.

two months passed by in a breeze, every friday you’d go to the theatre with xiao. but now he spent his weekends at your place. small pecks on the lip and cheek became a greeting between you both, and disk never shyed away from holding your hand whenever you both had an outing to attend to together. but even with these small affections, he still never seemed to being up a label between you both. clearly there was something there, right? but you both hadn’t dared to say the three words you associated with each other. i love you. a short but powerful phrase. and it hasn’t left either of your lips.

the thought made you anxious. just what were you doing if it wasn’t more than companionship? so, you made up your mind. you’d bring up the conversation at lunch before the usual friday plans.

time seemed to slow as the hours dredged until lunch. how would he respond to your question? would he push you away, or pull you closer? the thought ate away at you, and xiao noticed. a gentle question of what was wrong left his lips, but you reassured him it was nothing.

it wasn’t nothing when the question left your lips, “what are we, xiao?” xiao choked on his almond tofu the second you finished your question. “what do you mean, (y/n)?”

“you know..” you waved a hand between you both. “what is my relationship to you? what do you think of me as?” you asked anxiously.

“we’re friends of course.” xiao replied. you nodded at his response, suddenly feeling sick. you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore as xiao finished his bowl. you both cleared your dishes, walking back to the front desk as you had to return to your duties.

xiao walked alongside you now, not taking your hand. you didn’t voice it, only commenting how humid the air seemed today. you chatted anxiously about liyue and the upcoming festival in inazuma as you both walked up the steps, turning the corner back to the front desk, you noticed how much quieter it got. you glanced to your side and noticed xiao was now gone.

“xiao?”

you retraced your steps, only to find no sign of him. you frowned, biting your lip nervously. maybe zhongli called him for a job to take care of, you’d be seeing him later tonight anyway. right?

“calm down (y/n). he isn’t like that, he’ll be back.” you mumbled to yourself as you got back to work.

but how wrong could you have been. you went home by yourself, getting ready and waiting by the door for xiao’s gentle knocks. but those knocks would never come. the clock read 2:38 am as you sighed, soaking in your bathtub as you thought over the day. it had been your first day alone in a little over two months. you forgot how much you hated your own silence.

“i feel so stupid.” you said out loud to no one in particular, burying your face into your knees. your dependence with him was showing, and it made you feel oh so weak. the absence of one person was enough to shake you and cause turmoil to spew in your head once more.

you went to bed that night hoping xiao would turn up the next day and continue the routine you both had shared for some time now. you hoped with everything in you that he was just busy. something came up. it wasn’t because of the question you had asked him. he had… matters to attend to. that’s all it was!

your hope would be short lived as the weekend came and went with no sign of xiao. you sighed shakily at the front desk of the inn that following monday. your nails were chewed raw, lips slightly bleeding as they had suffered the same fate. xiao hadn’t shown up at his usual time today either.

“i can’t do this.” you thought to yourself as you stood up from your seat. that anxious sinking feeling was starting to consume you. afraid that the feeling would only escalate, you decided to walk around the inn to calm your nerves. you walked down the steps and back up to the balcony, finally catching a glimpse of the teal haired man.

“xiao! i was so worried about you. what happened? why didn’t you come?” you grabbed his arm as questions seemed to pour out of you. xiao smiled gently, taking your hand from his shoulder and squeezing them in the palms of his own.

“i apologize, my dear. i wasn’t feeling well.” you nodded as you hugged him tightly, quite seemingly throwing yourself into his embrace. “i was so worried.” your voice was muffled against his chest as he stroked your head. “i’m very sorry, (y/n).. i’ll make it up to you. i’ll come over with you today if you’d like.”

you looked at him and nodded, “i’d really like that, xiao.” you smiled.

xiao spent the rest of your shift by your side. he told you of his tasks zhongli had assigned him and the pesky hilichurl camps he had to clear earlier in the day.

you were nothing but smiles as the day ended, with xiao by your side as you both now walked on the path that led to your home. again, he didn’t hold your hand but you assumed it was nothing. you’d be spending the new few hours with him anyway.

you both chatted about plans after summer ended, and how you wished to continue your job at the inn to see him once it did. he shared the same thoughts on the matter to your relief. as you both stopped in front of your door, you smiled at xiao as you turned your attention to your bag, fishing out your keys from the bottom, you unlocked the door.

you sighed happily and threw your bag to the side of the door, stepping to the side and holding onto the door. “welcome home!” you spoke cheerily, only to hear no footsteps. you looked at your doorway only to find the teal haired man gone. “xiao?”

you stepped outside, looking around anxiously. he was gone. he left again. that sick nauseating anxiety seemed to come back full force, hitting you like a truck. you slammed your door shut, sitting against it with shaky breaths leaving your lips. attachment consumed your being, xiao was your blessing and vice.

“calm down, calm down.” you mumbled to yourself . but even you could see how your hands shook, and the cold that consumed your body. the summer heat of liyue couldn’t warm you now.

you went to bed that night with a heavy heart, thoughts of xiao haunting your restless sleep. xiao didnt make it easier on you either. he decided to make himself scarce for the following month and a half. the only times you’d see him was enough to get a glimpse, only for him to disappear again. you couldn’t remember how many nights you’d spent weeping over the whole ordeal.

with the summer coming to a close, you decided you had to try one last time. would you wait for him? or confront him?

for the sake of your own anxieties, you chose the latter. a small favor was asked of your friend, zhongli, as you waited patiently on the balcony for xiao. to your surprise, he did show up. but he wouldn’t look at you. he refused to meet your eyes as he stared out into the sunset.

“you requested to speak to me?” xiao spoke coldly.

“xiao.. just what happened? why did you grow quiet? did i say or do something? please, i just want an answer..” you trailed off as you took a step closer to him, only for him to take a step back. “i.. i still haven’t renewed my contract to continue working here.. i thought i’d ask you before i made any final decisions.. because we talked about it before..” you spoke quietly.

“it matters not if you continue working here or not, rather your presence makes no difference to me. i forgot how much i enjoyed my own company and time rather than with someone else. that’s all it was. now, if that’s all i’d rather be doing something else than speaking on such trivial nonsense.” xiao’s monotone voice spat like venom.

the realization that the summer you shared with him was gone now came to you. the xiao you once knew was long gone. or maybe he never existed at all.

you knew better than to fight him, better than to give him the satisfaction of your emotions. you only nodded quietly before stepping away, leaving him behind as quickly as you could.

you went on to cancel your contract with the inn, opting for the solidarity of your home once more. you made sure to never step near the inn, even with the lantern rite festival soon after. the few times you’d see xiao after that conversation, his gaze seemed to linger a bit too long for your liking, as you always turned away from him. never allowing him to come close enough. you wouldn’t notice the yaksha hiding in the mountains near your home, watching you arrive home on the days he once shared with you. was it regret he was feeling? or was it the actions of another being he couldn’t explain to you about?

the start of a sweet summer only to end in flames was all you knew.

taglist: @samarill @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @jaderose18 @lelemnh @linkookie197 @xiaonscaraswife @foxlover1144 @reblog-crazily @gh0sts0up @darliingyu @kuronvshi @maxineslair @kenmabfasf @atanukileaf @jihyuniepark @chiisananingen @just-anotherbookworm

#genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin x reader angst #xiao x you #xiao x y/n #xiao x reader angst #xiao genshin x reader #xiao genshin #xiao genshin impact #xiao angst #xiao #genshin xiao #xiao x reader

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wardenparker · 4 months

Note

Alright, I have come out of the woodwork and I will now be A Nuisance. For your microfic celebration, please give me whoever you think will be the funniest with the prompt "I'm not getting you coffee, your order is ridiculous". You are my queen and I would die for you immediately upon request thank you for existing 😘

I know this prompt is very, very old, but let's have some fun with it! Co-written with the lovely and talented @absurdthirst.

Dieter Bravo. 1,173 words. "I'm not getting you coffee, your order is ridiculous." (Warnings: cursing, flirting, mention of drugs)

"There are a couple of things where I draw the line." Just because you had been assigned to be Dieter Bravo's assistant on set for this film did not mean you were going to make yourself a laughing stock for the Oscar winner. You're a professional and you have your dignity, dammit. That's why you're standing in his trailer having this conversation right now.

Dieter narrows his eyes in confusion and looks around. "It's a drink order, right?" He asks. "I didn't ask you to pick up my blow or order a hooker." He pauses, "unless you know some?" He waits for to you huff at him and shakes his head. "Never mind." He pouts. "It's just a coffee. A coffee I need." He groans. "I'm fucking hungover."

"I'm not getting you coffee, your order is ridiculous." Looking down at the sheet of allegedly useful facts about the star, you read off the insane, often contradictory order listed there. "Venti, half-caf, triple-shot, soy, no foam, extra whip, extra hot, upside-down, caramel drizzle, with seven pumps of caramel syrup and seven pumps of mocha syrup, double-blended Frappuccino." You heave a heavy sigh and look back up at him. "It's literally impossible, that order. You know that, right?"

Dieter gives you a skeptical look. "I order it all the time, what do you mean impossible?" He snorts, pushing up off the small sofa that is provided in his trailer and moves over to the trash can. "Where the fuck is it?"

"You can't order an extra-hot Frappuccino. Frappuccinos are frozen." Still, you are obligated to try to help this man, and you purse your lips watching him root around. "What are you looking for?"

"My cup." He looks behind him, shooting you a glare and then pulls out a wet wad of paper towel and tosses it on the floor. "From yesterday. Before the studio sent me a defective assistant."

"It was down to melted ice, so I threw it out." It's flat out annoying to find him hot when he growling at you like a pestered puppy, but facts are facts. "Make this order make sense, and I'll get you one four times a day with no complaint."

"It was on the cuuuuuuup." He whines, throwing out a paper bag that probably held the sushi he had ordered yesterday when he suddenly had a craving and insisted his character loved tuna rolls. "Where is it?"

"I have the order right here." Again, you hold up your clipboard to show him the sheet of neatly organized information about himself that his regular assistant had sent over to the production company. Why she wasn't here, you don't know. "But you can't have a drink that's both frozen and hot, so it makes no sense."

"Can you just order my drink?" He huffs, whirling back around when he reaches the bottom of the can and there isn't that cup in there. You must have thrown it away somewhere else, which irritates him.

"Do you want it hot or frozen?" This absolute nonsense needs to be taken care of right now, otherwise this entire shoot is going to be as ridiculous as this moment.

"I want an extra hot Frappacino." He throws his hands up. "What is so hard about this?" He demands, looking at you like you are a complete idiot. This movie is a piece of shit, so it's fitting they hired the same caliber of people to work on it that they did to write it.

You're starting to actually question whether or not you know anything about Starbucks coffees in the first place or if you've just gone around on this so many times that you're actually starting to go a little mad. "You're getting a frozen drink." You decide, putting a stop to all of this craziness before your head starts to spin.

"Extra hot." Dieter nods, looking almost happy that you have decided to get his drink. He turns back to the table to grab his script. "Now I can learn these shitty lines once I have my coffee." He flips open the page and squints so he can try to read the small font. He needs glasses, but his vanity wouldn't allow that.

Groaning to yourself, you turn on your heel and open the trailer door again, cursing your stupid ass decision to ever become an on set assistant in the first place. "No," you mumble once you're out of earshot. "A Frappuccino is frozen, not hot."

Why do the hot ones always have to be completely off their rockers?

There is a certain routine that Dieter goes through when preparing for a role. He loves to find the character's voice. Repeating the lines in different cadences and tones, throwing his pitch until he feels that it reflects the character's personality. "How do you do it?" He warbles, sounding a little like Christopher Walken as he runs through the lines and huffs as he finds it too pitchy and waves his hand around again. "How do you do it?" He growls slightly, dropping his tone and making his voice more gravelly.

When you come back twenty minutes later from the Starbucks on the lot, it is after a world of conferencing with the very sweet barista who apparently made his convoluted as fuck order yesterday before the other on set assistant refused to work with him anymore. The girl had laughed, told you she steamed the milk for the drink to aerate it before putting everything in the blender, and just shrugged. 'Movie stars' she had intoned like it excused everything at all. "Coffee is here." You announce in your most neutral tone possible, while Dieter is prancing around his trailer talking to himself in as many different voices as he can muster.

"Oh thank God." The script is practically tossed over his shoulder as Dieter rushes forward to take the drink, straw already in it and immediately taking a large sip. Groaning as he swallows several mouthfuls before he sighs. "Perfect." He praises, eyeing you with a new found respect since you had gotten his order right. Coffee was life and now you are the bringer of life to him. Dieter tilts his head, finding it rather sexy when you roll your eyes. "Do you want to have sex with me?"

There needs to be a girl version of the saying 'Never stick your dick in crazy', because for just a split second, you actually consider it. Instead, shaking off the haze, you swallow down the impulse answer and pierce him with your most withering expression. "If you behave yourself, I'll think about it," you bargain, wondering if what you've heard about him being completely submissive is true.

"Amazing." Dieter practically beams at you, his cock twitching in his baggy sweats and he takes another sip of his venti, half-caf, triple-shot, soy, no foam, extra whip, extra hot, upside-down, caramel drizzle, with seven pumps of caramel syrup and seven pumps of mocha syrup, double-blended Frappuccino. "I'll be a good boy." He promises, content with his coffee and now daydreaming of having sex with you.

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Dieter Bravo #Dieter Bravo x you #Dieter Bravo x reader #Dieter Bravo x female reader #Dieter Bravo x f!reader #The Bubble #microfic

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king-shango-the-great · 9 months

Text

Shango's Thoughts:

Stop mixing & matching spiritual ideas (New Age Nonsense is Still Nonsense)

So, can we talking about how this is NOT a 3rd Eye?

Just because you see a singular eye, does not make it a 3rd Eye by default.

This is actually the Eye of Ra & it's actually the right eye. It's paired (pair = 2) with the Eye of Heru which is the left Eye.

The Eyes are actually Falcon eyes, because both the deities to whom these eyes belong are sky deities, both represented by the falcon. That is because the falcon not only has excellent eyesight, but it soars far above any & everything else, which allowed them to see farther than any other living creature..

One eye represents divine insight, the other represents divine foresight.

As an African society, Ancient Kemet (Egypt) was a nature-based society.

This is important, because, like all African societies (ancient & modern), they did not deviate from the divine principles of nature. In fact, they revered, & was greatly inspired & empowered by it. This was greatly reflected in their symbology.

As such, they understood that there neither was, nor is, any creature in nature that possesses an odd number of eyes. Every creature has an amount of eyes that are divisible by 2.

The idea of 3 eyes in African culture & Spirituality would therefore be seen as unnatural.

So where does the idea of the 3rd Eye come from?

It comes from Hinduism & Buddhism.

I've mentioned this a few times on my page, but whenever I see people (especially Black people, as that's essentially all I care about 🤷🏿‍♂️) talking about 3rd Eyes, & especially using the All-Seeing eye(s) as a visual representation of the 3rd Eye, I automatically know it's being done out of ignorance.

The reality is, most Black people don't know enough about Hindu beliefs, the nuances of their culture, nor their language to glean any real spiritual benefit from this concept. The proof of this lies in 2 points:

1) If they did, they wouldn't be mixing & blending it with African Spiritual concepts, &

2) They'd know that India is a very anti-African culture & society.

Not to mention, the meanings of the "Eye" in both cultures do not run congruent. Their meanings are not remotely similar.

So, how did Black folks get this notion of the 3rd Eye in the first place?

The answer is both complex & simple.

Hindus don't teach it, because A) they are very insular about their culture, & B) they wouldn't teach it to black people, because Hindus are extremely anti-Black.

I know Black folks like to make the false Pseudo claim that India & Africa are culturally linked, but nothing could be further from the truth (I've spoken many times on here about this; refer to my posts under "#Shango's Thoughts").

The simplest answer is, it came from white people.

Without going into great detail (at least, not at this time): The New Age Movements that were sparked by white people from Europe, as early as the 1930's.

These white people were seld proclaimed "mystics" that dabbled in all sorts of spiritual ideas, that made their way to the US when these same Crackas migrated to the US.

Many of them were affiliated with the Nazis, which is where they got their hatred of Black people. As an example of the correlation, that's why you see the swastika as the symbol of Nazism.

One such white "mystic" was Helena Blavastky:

This is the "mother" of New Age Spirituality (along with a few others of her ilk).

What's sad, is that alot of her ideas influenced everyone from Hitler to many of the Black spiritual movements in Amerikkka, from. The NOI, to 5% Nation of God's & Earth's, to the Nuwaubians, to the Moors, & a few others. Most of them don't even realize it, because they are not academic enough to make the connections.

I could go deeper into this now, but I won't (again, not at this time). The bottom line is, you can talk about how terrible these people are all you want, but the truth is, yall get all your "info" from them.

Suffice it to say, most Black people have been convinced to take part in ideas like Chakras & 3rd Eyes (& other related concepts, such as "Pineal glands"; again, not an African concept) because they've been influenced by white people.

Ideas like chakras, 3rd Eyes, Angel numbers, tarot cards, & a host of other concepts that have caught on in the past 50yrs are nothing but recycled racist notions. They have nothing to do with African culture or Spirituality.

Europe, France, Italty, Austria, Germany.... You haven't seen a Black face or name yet. 🙄

I cannot tell anyone not to hold fast to these ideas; you are free to do whatever you wish. But I can tell you one thing....

Whites & Hindus are laughing at us when we regurgitate these ideas.

I can also tell you why I do not adhere to them..... They are not from our Ancestors. They are from our enemies. Any religion that comes from your enemy (be it directly or indirectly) has no spiritual power for you. It is a weapon against you.

The proof of this, lies in the fact that none of these ideas have done NOTHING for us. That's because they're not meant to. It's like a white person buying a pick for their hair.

It was designed FOR the people it was designed BY.

I look to my Ancestors, & the traditions that they created. And 3rd Eyes & Chakras were not one of them.

Asé 🙏🏿

#Shango's Thoughts

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mosaickiwi · 1 month

Text

Fall Unto Me (part four)

Part one, part two, part three

The end of Angel!Angel and Demon!Ren yayyyy I'm sooo excited to have the rest of my brain back!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER (mostly).

A very long and nonsensical string of writing thoughts and notes on it will be posted much later. Also if anyone wants to ask questions I can answer them in the infodump or on discord if you want a more immediate response... I hope you enjoy da finale 👉👈 sorry this is my baby i really love talking about it but it was impossible til now fjdslkjflks

cw// religious themes

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

That mundane, quiet night had taken a turn for the better. You could barely move a muscle after trying to settle your curious desires for your devilish companion, though they still remained. The books and red string were put back where they belonged before you found yourself cradled in strong arms and curled under silken sheets.

Ren had brought you to rest in bed, arms keeping you securely nestled at their side. His bare chest felt incredibly warm against your cheek. The sound of their heart beat steadily, and you moved your head to hear it better. Mesmerizing, and comforting.

“I'm… tired? Fatigued?” you muttered aloud. It was so hard to stay awake, your eyes kept fluttering. You’d never been quite so drained before.

He gently held your chin to look at you, smiling all the while. “Why do you think? You’re an absolutely ravenous angel. Were it not for that fatigue, you’d surely still have me pinned on the floor with your head thrown back in—”

“Hey!” you interrupted him. The casual way they said it had you suddenly embarrassed. Being aware of your newfound… ‘ravenous’ side was something else entirely.

“It was a wonderful sight, my love, little angel,” he sang your praises with adoration, ending at a word. That word. The one you didn’t know.

An odd little pet name you were all the more curious about.

“What's that word you keep saying?” you asked and his eyes suddenly widened. “I love all the endearing things you call me, but that one—I can't place it.”

“...Oh, love,” he whispered, muffled as they leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “I’m so sorry. I won't use it anymore.”

“Huh? Is it something bad?” You weren't sure what he meant by that, but you knew well and good they'd never say something cruel to you, let alone call you by a cruel word. Nonsensical as the question was, no other reason came to mind.

“Not at all. It's my favorite word,” his voice was soft, almost heartbroken. “I didn't think you'd forget it so soon… I'll tell you when you're ready, I promise. For now, you only need to rest.”

A simple nod in response on your part. You accepted the answer so easily. There was nothing to worry about anymore. With how exhausted you were from the act, sleep was a natural decision. You could talk in the morning. Or any morning after, you no longer minded. Eventually you'd leave, so what was another few days or weeks?

You settled in and closed your eyes, lulled to sleep by their heartbeat in your ear.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Cold. You woke up cold. Jolted awake from your own nightmare of falling, drowning in the endless clouds that you once walked upon with ease, only to land in the depths of the freezing ocean below you. With a hushed gasp, you sat up in bed.

The devil was asleep right beside you. Pink hair stained with eerie grays from the moon’s glow through the open window, horns so dark they almost blended into the shadows, ghastly inked patterns that crawled from their shoulders down to their hands.

One of his was laced tightly with yours.

You trembled as you slowly pried his fingers away, crawled backwards on the bed until you felt nothing under you and almost fell like that cursed dream.

But the same hands you struggled to get away from caught you. You found instant comfort in his touch, despite the disgust that climbed up your back when you woke—where did it come from? Why were you even trying to get away?

“I've got you, it's alright,” Ren murmured softly. He guided you to stand, wrapping a wrinkled shirt over your naked shoulders along with his arms. You held on as tight as you could. Your fingers were shaking.

“I need to—I need to go, Ren. Now,” you gasped into his chest. Your entire body was unsteady, vision blurred from tears you weren't capable of shedding. Whatever you were saying didn't make sense in your head. You needed to go… somewhere. You could picture the place—it had sunkissed clouds as far as the eye could see—but did it have a name?

He read your mind, gently offered the word you couldn't think of, “Heaven?”

There. Home. You nodded.

“You'll only get hurt.”

“I already know I'll have to repent before my god,” you muttered sheepishly and pulled away, clutching the shirt like a cloak. His knowledge was vast as ever, but what did a demon know of heaven’s affairs?

“No, little angel. If you even make it that far,” they cursed the realms under their breath and followed as you left the room in a sudden hurry. “They'll take whatever is left of your halo and wings.”

You didn't waste any time throwing open the cabin’s door and walking out into the cool night air. Forced to pause at the sight in front of you, you stared; the breathtaking field of flowers was fully blooming. They were finally as high as Ren promised, the tallest with their golden petals proudly on display in the hallowed shape of a halo.

The beauty only helped his words to sink in. Whatever is left of your halo and wings? You turned around, fully expecting him to be right behind you.

You were face to face as you questioned him, a bite of anger held in. “What do you mean?”

Blue eyes that only seemed paler in the night, once full of hatred for heaven, pooled with long lost grief. “You've fallen from their grace,” he said quietly.

“That doesn't happen.” You denied it quickly. Such a thing had never happened in all the histories of heaven, you at least knew that without ever reading those records. If what he said was true, it’d be common knowledge. A warning that all angels would heed.

“It does, because I—”

A bell rang in the darkened night sky above. Ren froze with unknown fear for a split second and hurriedly reached towards you, shouting something. Another bell obscured their voice, then another and another until the number grew to so many your thoughts drowned in their thunder. Someone was calling you home.

Before you even realized it your wings sprouted forth and threw the unbuttoned shirt he'd given you to the wind, bringing a burning anguish so suddenly intense to bloom in the middle of your back that you fell to your knees. Ren immediately kneeled in front of you. The pain and desperation in his voice pulled at your very core, except you couldn't understand a thing. The bells were so loud. You cried out sharply. It may as well have been silence from what little else you could hear.

A cracking noise managed to cut through the clamor of the bells above. Translucent shards of stained glass dropped from your head and piled themselves in the dirt at your knees. There was so little of it but you recognized the golden shade, illuminated by the fire licking at your shoulders.

The halo that you'd gained once the library's doors had beckoned you. The few pieces that remained of it, anyway.

Your heart stopped, then started anew. A feeling worse than the holy fire that was turning your beloved wings from feathered grace to ash. He was right; you'd fallen long before this night.

A thousand bells began to still, one by one. You could start to hear Ren again, though only a few words were clear.

“...At night… Forgive… Happen… …Never wanted this for you.”

The last feather fell away into nothing, and the burning in your back, along with the bells, died with it. All the heat you could feel was the demon only inches away, his desolate gaze fixed to you.

You blinked, tear stained cheeks now icy from the salted wind blowing across the ocean. Bits and pieces came back as memories.

The simple, towering clouds that decorated the heavens far as the eye could see. A sun that shined brightly, an everlasting sunrise that greeted you no matter the day. The library that once seemed like paradise you were destined to guard for the rest of time. All echoes of the being that was no longer you.

Something was missing.

“My… that word,” you whispered. He'd told you it was his favorite word. One that you’d forgotten. “... It was mine?”

He smiled as best he could. It didn't reach his eyes. “You remember it.”

“A little.”

“Then... let me say it for you?” he asked and you nodded. They leaned close, the word slowly leaving their lips with reverence, sadness, unwavering love.

Nothing about it sparked as familiar on the surface. But the word once belonged to you, that empty part inside understood it. Fresh tears welled in the corners of your vision. “When did they take it from me?”

Ren gently wiped your cheek as the tears overflowed again. “I don't know.”

“How—it was mine,” you repeated with a sob. You felt the cold seeping through you and huddled into his embrace. Their body felt more warm and inviting than anything around you. There was nothing—no one else you could ever reach out to anymore.

“I’m sorry. We only have eternity together, my love,” he breathed, tucking your head below his chin with a strangled noise. “I'll say it each and every day so you'll never forget it. I don't want to lose your name, either.”

#14 days with you #14dwy redacted #14dwy ren #cw religious themes #momo writing #posted a little early #i'm impatient #and i want to release myself from this prison /silly #AM I REALLY EVER FREE THOUGH?#my fingers are enjoying their break except i'm losing my shit trying to NOT write redacted stuff #that's totally normal right #if you've seen my brain leaking out in the discord for the past few weeks MY BAD!!!#<- it will keep happening

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freesia-writes · 16 days

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Nerf Herder Scent Review

I ran out recently so went a lil crazy over at Nerf Herder with their amazing SW-themed wax melts and figured I'd share my thoughts. I've heard friends give their input and it's interesting how scents appeal to people differently, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm generally pretty sensitive to smell and don't like anything strong, and you'll notice I chose mostly "clean fresh" types of scents. So... enjoy my best attempt at descriptions and reviews below the cut. ❤️

Also, I'd love to hear your impressions if you've ordered the same scents!!

Rex - clean, soft, and cozy all at once. fresh like the best kind of soap but nothing sharp or particularly strong in it.

Fives - a little stronger, a little spicier. slightly herbal but still pretty clean/cologney

Kix - similar to Fives, but a little more... soapy? in a good way?

I had really good intentions when I started this review. 😂

Wolffe - now this one is distinctly different. smooth, sweet, smoky, leathery. a little incensey.

Bail Organa - I feel like I buried my face in one of his luxurious creamy robes. not a very sharp scent but a strong vanilla theme with the tiiiiniest hint of smoke/spice.

Young Obi-Wan - 🤢 this one smells like an adolescent boy that just discovered Axe body spray. definitely cologney with a heavy sweetness? I'll happily mail this one to you if it's up your alley. 😂

Jesse - sexy boy!! this one has a cozy, clean softness to it as well, like Rex, but Rex had more of a powdery scent while juicy Jesse here has the slightest hint of smoke.

And now for my favorites...

Howzer - I don't even know how to describe this. their website says "hot guy in a bottle" and that's pretty much it, LOL. It's definitely clean and masculine, but more crisp than soft. It's alllllmost like walking into Abercrombie but not nearly as strong, haha, but just as pleasant.

Hunter - ohhh, babe. clean and fresh and smooth and creamy and... idk even how to describe it well. there's a tiny tartness to it that has maybe a slightly herbal/floral touch but it's all blended together so well that it's just immaculate. I have this and Howzer on permanent rotation.

And now for those not pictured that I tried before...

Wrecker - I honestly don't remember. it was clean but nothing really stood out?

Echo - I liked this one a lot -- clean and soft with perhaps a creamy/vanilla undertone but it was really underwhelming, even for me.

Tech - this one was pretty good, but similar to Echo in that it was hard to notice. it was soft and pleasant and clean with slightly metallic touch, but not enough delight to order again.

Crosshair - this one was perfect for the character but not up my alley, because it was quite spicy, LOL. absolutely representative of him but I like light/fresh/clean and this one was a bit heavier... smoky and leathery and spicy and masculine.

Welp... Enjoy that mess of nonsense! 😂

#the bad batch #tbb #bad batch #nerf herder #star wars merch #tbb merch #wax melts #the bad batch merch

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someone-elsa · 1 year

Photo

Basic Poses 8 (CAS poses + posepacks)

More poses for lookbooks, CC previews, portraits etc. Two versions: one for sims more or less the same size as the default pose rig (version 1; on the right in the preview pictures), and another for bigger sims (or for those with thicker layer of clothes) (version 2).

- In-game poses come in two separate posepacks: 8 poses + all-in-one - CAS poses v1 are for Clumsy, Neat, and Child of the Islands traits - CAS poses v2 are for Loves Outdoors, Snob, and Proper traits

In case you are already using other poses for those traits (you can have only one per trait!), I have included the all-in-one .blend files so you can use the poses for other traits. If you’re unfamiliar with the process, check out this tutorial (but ignore the exporting part as you already have the needed .blend files) :)

@ts4-poses @maxismatchccworld

(no ads or other nonsense!)

👉 Patreon (free) 👉 SFS folder 👉 Mediafire folder

TOU: The poses can be used as a base to create your own poses or for posing deco sims. If you share those creations publicly, tag me (on tumblr)! But don’t put them behind a paywall or ad links of any kind. Thank you!

My Ko-fi page

#ts4cc cas #ts4cc #s4cc #ts4 #the sims 4 #ts4cc cas poses #ts4cc poses #sims poses #cas poses

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ilovebeomkai · 1 year

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under the stars — choi yeonjun x gn!reader

ෆ synopsis : y/n gets dragged to a party after coming back from studying abroad which leads her to cross paths with the choi yeonjun, but he's a lot sweeter than expected for being known as the party boy.

ෆ genre : fluff

ෆ warnings : none

ෆ wc : 1.8k

ෆ a/n : this is my first time writing so…this is probably really bad but we move unedited & lowercase intended

the view out the window of the plane was gorgeous, the sky painted with hues of deep oranges and light pinks as the sun set over the ocean. While the scenery was breathtaking it wasn’t enough to calm your nerves, you were finally going back to korea after studying abroad for 2 years in the states.

you were happy to be going home, of course you were, after all, your friends and family were all still living here. However you couldn't deny the anxiety and fear bubbling up inside, what if things had changed? Everyone has moved on without you? You just…no longer belonged? eventually, you got lost in your thoughts, mapping out every worst-case scenario before drifting off into a not-so-peaceful slumber.

a few hours later you were awoken due to the bumpy landing of the plane, a storm making it a bit rough but nothing too scary. The rain was strangely comforting, you’d always been someone who enjoyed staying in and reading a nice book with the comforting pitter-patter of raindrops against the window.

you’d just grabbed your luggage from the baggage claim, making your way across the airport when you heard y/f/n calling out to you, “y/n! Over here!” they yelled out whilst running toward you. “Oh my god, it's been forever! I know we’ve kept in touch but it just wasn't the same as having you here, how are you? Was the flight okay? I can’t wait to show you around, and there's a party tonight I can take you to and-”

you loved them but you had to admit all the questions at once were a bit overwhelming, the one thing that caught your attention being the mention of a party. “y/f/n- you know I'm not exactly a party person” you mumbled and they shook their head, “nonsense! You just came back and it’ll be a great way to introduce you to new people!”

you sighed and shook your head as y/f/n rambled on, you knew there was no use in arguing and you weren’t exactly the type to fight back so you simply accepted your fate as the two of you headed to your family’s home to settle in.

after settling in a few hours had passed and you were lying on y/f/n’s bed, scrolling mindlessly through your phone as you waited for them to finish showering. “Soooo, about that party-” they started, settling down right next to you on the bed. “I already told you I don’t wanna gooooo” you whined, glancing up at them with an uninterested expression.

after a good 30 minutes of back-and-forth banter between the two of you, you accepted that there was no way out of this. y/f/n had lent you something to wear, as you hadn’t felt what you picked out was quite…party appropriate, and off you went to call a taxi.

the car kept driving for what felt like an eternity, following a windy road up a hill and coming to a stop in front of a house not big enough to be a mansion but big enough to elicit an audible gasp from you.

as soon as your feet crossed the threshold of the home you felt out of place, the loud music, crowded rooms, and overall overwhelming atmosphere was too much. y/f/n seemed to know everyone as she lead you through the sea of bodies, waving and greeting almost every other person. “Come on, you need to let loose!” were the last words you heard from them before they vanished from your sight.

somehow you found yourself wandering to the kitchen, grabbing a drink to occupy your hands to blend in and avoid looking even more out of place than you already felt. Despite your efforts to distract yourself and make the most of the situation the commotion seemed to be growing louder by the minute, unable to withstand the pounding in your head any longer you pushed through the crowd until you saw the moonlight leading you to a balcony.

there you stood, trying to get a breath of fresh air while leaning against the wall in an attempt to calm yourself down. Out of the corner of your eye, you could’ve sworn someone was approaching, but you couldn’t be bothered to double-check. You didn’t know it yet but you’d just caught the attention of the most well-known party boy in the district, choi yeonjun.

“hey there,” yeonjun said, flashing a signature smile as he glanced down at you, “what brings a pretty person like you out here when all the fun is in there?” he chuckled, nodding his head back toward the inside of the house.

“just needed some space…” you mumbled quietly, unable to combat the smile tugging at your lips when you looked up and met his eyes. He could tell that you weren’t quite comfortable going back inside, but something about you was calling to him. “Do you maybe wanna go for a walk or something? It’s a lovely night and I assume you don’t wanna head back in there” he said with a kindhearted laugh.

“actually…that sounds nice” You nodded, that was all it took for yeonjun to grip your hand tightly but gently, leading you back through the sea of bodies and out the back door. The two of you walked aimlessly down the windy road in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company.

once the two of you reached the foot of the hill yeonjun took notice of the convenience store just down the street, “are you hungry?” he asked, to which you nodded in response. “I could eat right now” you laughed as he tugged you gently in the direction of the convenience store, “let's eat then, and get whatever you want, it's on me” he grinned as he opened the door for you, and followed inside.

your eyes light up immediately at the sight of your favorite snack, immediately grab a bag and continue to browse with it held tightly in your arms. Yeonjun followed behind you, finding the way your eyes lit up adorable.

after a few minutes, you heard Yeonjun’s voice echoing from another aisle, “Oh look! The tteokbokki here is amazing, trust me, do you wanna share some?” he asked, looking over to you with hopeful eyes. You couldn't bring yourself to say no and you did enjoy tteokbokki, “oh my god, yes!” you gasped happily, tteokkbokki had been a comfort food of yours ever since you were a kid and little did you know it was yeonjuns too.

soon you decided you were done and the two of you went up to the counter, everything was rung up and yeonjun led you to a table by the window and sat down. “So, care to tell me about yourself? I don't think I've ever seen you around…and if there's a party I'm always there” he added with a smile.

“well I guess it was obvious but I'm not really a partier, and I just came back after studying abroad so I’m still settling in” she replied nervously, yeonjun carefully taking note of your demeanor as he nodded. You guys began eating as soon as everything was heated up, at first the conversation was slow and minimal but soon enough you found yourselves opening up to each other. An extra 10 minutes turned into an hour until almost 2 hours had passed and you found yourself wondering where the time had gone.

“hmm we should probably head back now, your friend might be worried about you no?” yeonjung asked, tilting his head. Truth be told he didn't want to go back just yet, even 15 more minutes with you would make him ecstatic, but he didn’t want to push his luck. “Yeah I don’t want to worry y/f/n,” you said with a bit of a frown forming on your face. It was obvious that neither of you wanted to be without the other's company, having formed a strong connection in the short time you’d spent together.

it didn't take long for you and yeonjun to reach the party, but much to your surprise it was still going strong and y/f/n was nowhere to be seen.

“why don't we go up to the roof? The sky is pretty clear tonight so we can stargaze, I figure it’ll be a lot better than going back in there right now” he laughed, looking to you for an answer. You thought about it for a few seconds before nodding eagerly, “sounds amazing” you said, on the outside, you seemed indifferent but on the inside, you were thrilled to be able to spend more time with him.

yeonjun lead you up a staircase that lead to the roof, a nice flat surface that the two of you could lay on. “Sit here,” he said softly, patting the space next to him and waiting until you’d settle down next to him. As soon as you sat he laid back and nodded when you glanced at him, wondering if you should do the same.

“it's gorgeous out here right now…” he commented, the stars glittering above the two of you in a vast sea of darkness. You nodded, gazing up with him before excitedly pointing at a whole cluster of stars, “look at the group right there, it's breathtaking” you sighed contently.

before you knew it your eyelids were getting heavier by the minute. Yeonjun glanced over, taking notice and smiling to himself. He’d been stealing glances at you all night long, but you looked especially stunning with the soft glow of moonlight shining down on your face.

he’d only looked away for a few seconds when he turned to point out a constellation to you but was instead met with the sight of your eyes shut tight and your chest rising and falling gently with every breath.

“cute” he mumbled, placing his jacket over you and wrapping one arm around you gently, careful not to wake you. He closed his eyes as well, a stupid grin on his face as he drifted off to sleep as well with the sound of the muffled music echoing all around. He didn’t know even a fraction of what he wanted to about you, but he did know he’d do anything in his power to make you his one day, holding you close as you fell asleep under the stars.

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straykidshoe · 5 months

Text

Yes doctor

PAIRINGS: Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

GENRE: Mature (Smut)

MUSIC: I hope you know what you're doing by KiNG MALA

CONTAINS: Doctor!au, strangers to lovers

SMUT WARNINGS: over the underwear orgasm, oral f!recieving, teasing f!recieiving. Please message me if i misseed anything.

WORD COUNT: 1,530

A/N: Don't read too much into the medical malpractice.

You rubbed your palms against your slacks, the silky material doing nothing to stop the constant flow of sweat. The nurse did offer you a set of scrubs but you refused, your nerves being too overpowering for you to actually register her question- which you were now regretting. As you sat in the partially empty waiting room, you started to reflect on how you actually ended up here. Initially, you thought that it was your own decision, that you were taking charge of your own health, being that girl- but in truth, your past partners had managed to weasel the notion that something was wrong with you, into your brain.

You couldn’t orgasm, not by someone else’s devices anyway, if you were alone with your fingers and vibrator you could decently cum to the point where you weren’t sexually frustrated- but you had never experienced the fireworks and blinding light that all your girlfriends would go on and on about. At first you would lie to your ex’s, forcefully clenching down on their fingers and panting deeply- but soon enough they would realise that you in fact did not cum. And boy, were their ego’s bruised. Nonsense would start to spew out of their mouth and some of them just called you ugly, you even tried a one night stand- that didn’t turn out well, it felt like you were a tree and a big grizzly bear was just helplessly rutting into you.

So here you are, on a Tuesday evening at the gynaecologist’s monochrome waiting room, flipping through a flimsy magazine- you still had your work clothes on, the white blouse and black slacks you had paired together in the morning lent themselves to the decor. Helping you blend in and mask your shame.

After a few minutes of inner turmoil and self loathing- a nurse had called out your name, guiding you to a dark wood door- on which a metal name plate read, ‘Dr. Hwang Hyunjin’.

Well this could only go well, he even sounded like a pretentious asshole- maybe it’ll lighten the blow when he told you that you had a rare disease where you could never cum at the hands of a man. Well you could be a lesbian, that wouldn-

‘Ah, Miss Y/L/N- come in. Take a seat’ A deep voice cut off your trail of thought as the door swung open you were met with a face. But not just any face- an angelic, beautiful face. One that was probably carved by Aphrodite herself, nevermind a gift from her- he was birthed out of her. You stood there for a while, dumbstruck, analysing his smooth skin and focussing on the birthmark just underneath his almond eye,

‘Miss Y/L/N ?’ the same baritone flowed through your ears, like hot caramel, it encompassed you in a warm cocoon, you blinked a few times- trying to clear the delicious fog that had began to form in your mind,

‘Yes-’ you cleared your throat, in hopes that you would snap back into reality, ‘Yes, that’s me.’ The man laughed, his eyes crinkling up until crescents, ‘Yea, Come on in,’ he moved to the side, arm outstretched. Laughing sheepishly, you bunched up your shoulders as you stepped in- sitting on the chair that was in line with his desk.

He followed suit, pulling out and sitting on the chair diagonal to you- he leant forward, reaching to shake out your hand.

As you accepted it, you marvelled at the sheer size of his palm and length of his fingers- he was warm, like a sensual dance that slowly made your blood bubble in your fucking vena cava. He felt like a welcomed heartburn.

‘Hi, my name is Dr.Hwang. And you are?’ He grinned at you, mischief gleaming through his brown iris’. Like in a forest when the sun would stream through the trunks of the tall trees.

‘You already know that’ You replied, sporting an equally cheeky grin, ‘But, since I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. My name is Y/N’

He leaned back giving you a smirk whilst holding his hands up in mock surrender

‘You caught me, I like to think that most patients get more comfortable if we properly introduce themselves’ .

He then swivelled in his chair to reach for a clipboard- the medical form attached flapped with his harsh movement, ‘Your medical file said “unspecified” so I only assume you wanted to tell me directly what was wrong.’ He brought his gaze up from the form towards your face, which was now flushed with embarrassment, rubbing your sweaty palms together,

‘Yeah so- I can’t cum.’ You chuckled as his eyes widened into saucers and a faint dusting of red reached his ears- he cleared his throat harshly whilst tugging at the knot of his tie. Holy fuck, those veins, you wonder what they would look like when wrapped around your-

‘You can’t..cum?’ He jotted down something on his paper, before placing the clipboard on his desk. This guy couldn’t let you finish one thought.

‘Yes, I can’t.’ He arched an eyebrow up at you, was he really a doctor? Maybe he was a model in his past life,

‘As in, you have never experienced an orgasm. Ever?’ His voice was shaky as he snapped on some bright blue gloves.

‘Dr Hwang, I have never cum at the hands of a man.’ Noticing the way his thighs constricted under his slacks made you realise that maybe, this attraction wasn’t one sided.

‘Please call me Hyunjin,’ He muttered as he rolled towards you- folding the sleeves of his white coat up to his elbows, ‘I find it’s better for certain patients.’

You ignored his last comment, trying not to think about the countless amount of women that have probably drooled over him like you are right now, ‘So, do I need to sit there- how do you want me?’

Nice choice of words.

Once again, you managed to gauge a reaction out of him- his arms constricted as he gripped his poor slacks and he sighed deeply through his nose as he looked down,

‘Just there, on the bed-’ He looked back up as he pointed to the medical bed, tucked away in the corner, ‘I need you to, uhm, take off your underwear and pants.’

You choked on your spit,of course you had to take your underwear off. It's a gynaecologist visit for god sake,

‘Uhm, yeah obviously.’ Silently, you walked to the bed, taking support of it so that you could slowly drag down your slacks. You tried not to look directly at him as you felt his eyes boring into your now naked legs- God damn is he intense.

You rubbed your thighs together as you felt the damp material stick to your folds, there is now probably a 99% chance that there was a dark patch of soiled cotton right where your hot sex was.

‘You need some help?’ His condescending voice sent a shiver throughout you, you finally met his dark gaze- it felt like he held a live wire and was millimetres away from shocking you as he slowly stood and made his way to your body. You nodded, scared that if you opened your mouth- even just an inch; that a series of moans and whimpers would flow out- Hyunjin smiled at your meek demeanour, like you were an innocent rabbit and he was a sly fox.

He inhaled deeply as he dragged his nose along your neck, hands caressing your’s, he made a slow descent down your body- nudging your flowy blouse slightly, he layed small pecks on your stomach. Soon he reached the band of your underwear, looking up at you he waited for confirmation, ‘Please..’ you breathed out, groaning in frustration, when he kissed the front of your underwear before moving further down to your clothed pussy. You wretched your hand away from him, to grip on the bed behind you whilst one of his hands wandered up and under your shirt, grazing at the band of your bra- the other dragging up and down your thighs.

Soon enough he had reached the damp material, chuckling when he nudged your covered clit with his nose- making you jolt backwards, ‘I haven’t even touched you yet-’ he prodded your leaking hole with his finger, ‘Look how you pussy wants me..’ he lazily brought his eyes to yours before licking a strip along your underwear, humming as your whole body erupted in goosebumps. What the fuck is this.

He reached for one of your hands whilst keeping his mouth latched on your pussy, his tongue continuously prodding your hole, he found purchase on the hand that was grasping the paper sheet on top of the bed for dear life. Wrapping his fingers around yours he guided them beneath the barrier adorning your throbbing heat- letting you rub harsh circles on your swollen clit. As he rockede back on his haunches he watched you as you helplessly jerked your hips upwards, searching for further friction to help you reach your orgasm whilst moaning softly. You gasped as with one hand he played against your abdomen, halting your jerky movements in place. Whimpering as he moved your underwear to the side.

Leaning forward he blew cold air against your glistening folds, you let out a guttural groan as you gripped his black locks with both hands- trying to push his head further towards your cunt, desperate to feel him ravage you.

‘Uh uh uh, need you to tell me what you want..’ he kissed your slit gently, chuckling when you moaned into the humid air surrounding the two of you. You turned your head to the side, not wanting him to see your expression as you began to stutter, ‘A-anything. God please, just do anything. Just want you..’ You were on the verge of tears, if this is what euphoria felt like, you would happily welcome it with open arms,

You could hear him coo from beneath you, ‘What are you doing to me Y/N?’ he muttered under his breath.

Jesus you like the way he said your name- like it’s a secret.

dipping two of his fingers into your cunt he collected your wetness before placing them into his mouth, moaning as your tangy sweetness blanketed his taste buds.

‘I think I know the exact prescription for you..’ He kitten licked your clit, grinning wolfishly when he saw your folds flutter around nothing, ‘Would you like a demonstration,’ he quirked his eyebrow up at you, ghosting his plump lips over your glistening pussy.

You let out a shaky breath, ‘Yes doctor..’

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