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#ah yes psychological guilt
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guess who wrote a sequel to that one fix she absolutely didn’t need to write a sequel for but wanted to anyways
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cinnamonest · 4 months
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Uhtceare
Yandere Ayato x Reader - "Failed escape attempt" series
(I still cannot publish posts that have people tagged. I don't know why, it just gives me an error popup saying it couldn't be processed. Apologies to those in my taglist.)
Warning: DARK CONTENT, noncon/dubcon, implications of forced/coerced marriage, masturbation voyeurism that’s also kinda forced, manipulative use of mental health and problematic way of addressing it, gaslighting and psychological manipulation, implied future forced drugging, there’s just a lot of my man being awful here
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“Ah, there you are.”
Of course. He would be right there at the entrance waiting, wouldn’t he.
You were hoping to get a few more seconds to put off the inevitable, but the reality of your situation was not so kind as to grant you that. It was all far too fast — the full events of the night before, the journey of being dragged back here — flanked on all sides by doushin all the while — all went by in a blur, leading up to this very dreaded moment.
You kept your gaze turned to the ground, unable to bring yourself to make eye contact. Your fingers curled, digging into the fabric around your thighs.
Nonetheless, without even hesitating nor willing it, you found your feet moving on their own. Perhaps it was instinct, to get away from the unfamiliar men that made you so uncomfortable and uneasy, and into the arms that, despite everything, were at least familiar, and thereby a comfort at the end of your long trial of distress and misery. Maybe you knew it was expected, and feared some consequence for not acting as you knew you should. Or maybe some of both.
Regardless, your feet shuffled forward, any thoughts muted in favor of instinct as you bounded over towards your husband — as much as you hated to acknowledge it, your one source of comfort. As you grew close, he reached an arm out, hand firmly planting itself on your back and pulling you in. Perhaps out of that same sense of fear at the thought of disobeying expectations, perhaps out of pure exhaustion, you allowed it without struggle coming to stand directly by his side, grasping at his clothes, burying your head against him and squeezing your eyes shut as if it would obscure the others’ view of you.
“I can’t thank you enough. You have no idea how worried I was about her,” he spoke to the arrangement of men now standing a ways away, moving his hand on to rest atop your head. “I apologize for the inconvenience. The poor thing gets a bit irrational from time to time. You know how it is.”
The other men only gave a brief, curt sound of acknowledgement. One, the own standing closest to the two of you based on how close the voice sounded, seemed to deem it appropriate to give at least some response. “Of course, sir.”
Not that that actually made any sense, that such a bizarre thing to say could ever warrant an ‘of course’ as a reply. But they weren’t there to be sensible, to assess the situation and act according to any supposed principles. To help. They were there only to follow through with an assigned task, one that they had not even tried to conceal in their expressions and tones towards you was an unwanted inconvenience, and to turn a blind eye to any conclusions they might draw.
Maybe that too was intentional — the estate lord could have easily sent his private forces to be the ones to escort you back to the estate, yet he chose to allow the public law enforcement to return you. Perhaps he knew you’d grown to resent the family’s private forces, and thereby had no issue inconveniencing them, whereas he knew you’d feel more embarrassment and guilt having strangers be forced to bring you all the way back… yes, the more you thought about it, that certainly seemed like that was his intent.
“I hope she didn’t give you too much trouble?”
“Not at all, sir.”
“Ah, I see, that’s good to hear.”
Your hands balled into fists.
The whole show made of it all was utterly humiliating — that too no doubt the intention — but you had no choice but to stand there. Doing something rash like running off to hide yourself from the embarrassment would only meet a worse consequence later.
The burning, bitter anger only made said embarrassment that much worse. It was consuming, maddening. Everything — this place, these people, their words and their attitudes, their dismissal of you as if you were a child or an animal — it made you so damn mad, and yet, you could do nothing but endure.
Your eyes burned. You blinked a few times in rapid succession. You couldn’t forgive yourself if you actually cried in front of these strangers. The back-and-forth between the two parties continued, but you did your best to tune out the words, knowing that listening would only hurt you further.
It wasn’t until there was movement that you returned your attention to them, pulling your head away from him to look — now they were turning, walking away.
Leaving you alone with him.
You then dared not avert your eyes from the ground, watching the men from your peripheral vision as they made their way down the path, growing smaller and smaller and they moved further away, until their footsteps were no longer audible.
All that remained was a heavy, palpable tension.
Avoidance was the easiest path — a foolish choice, of course, which you knew full well. It wasn't as if you could avoid the present reality forever, but nonetheless, you found yourself clinging to each precious second that ticked by, body growing stiffer as you braced yourself for the inevitable. Perhaps you could trick yourself into believing that if you just kept your gaze turned to the ground, nothing would happen.
But sure enough, you clenched your jaw as his hand moved upwards, and came to rest on your shoulder.
“Come on now. You're certainly tired. Let’s get you to rest for a while.”
His voice only made your stomach twist further. It was calm and gentle, not explosive or infuriated. It would have felt more assuring that way, if your fear could just be easily confirmed, rather than a calculated calm that felt far more dreadful and foreboding than any rage.
His hand moved from your shoulder, coming down to grasp your wrist. It wasn’t a sudden, harsh motion, nor was the grip itself strong enough as to be painful — but it was noticeably firm.
And then, he pulled. A soft tug, pulling you in the direction of the doors.
Your resistance was not a conscious choice, not something you thought about nor had any time to do so; it was only a reflex. Instinctively, your body stiffened, your feet dug into the ground, and thus his pull was met not with the meek obedience that was expected of you, with footsteps that followed where you were guided, but instead a firm resistance.
Your own realization of that resistance, what you’d just done, sent a sharp rush of fear through your veins.
And thus, for the first time since arriving, your gaze tilted upward, and your wide, frightened eyes met his.
His expression shifted. The amiable, pleasant smile half-faded, still present, but only barely.
“…Don't be difficult. Come on.”
Likewise, his voice dropped far lower, a dark and foreboding tone far removed from the one he’d spoken with just moments ago to the other men.
Your mouth opened, instinctively wanting to reply, but you couldn't summon a coherent thought. You were afraid, you were angry, you were so, so embittered and ashamed and wanted nothing more than to run to your room, close your eyes and burrow into the bed.
And for a moment, you considered the compliant option. If you just lowered your head and followed along, apologized and insisted you were just being petty or immature or whatever he would call it this time, and took whatever consequence was handed out, then you could do just that, confine yourself to your bed and try to forget it all.
But the shame only fueled the fury, like gasoline to a fire. It was his fault. As scared of punishment as you were, your pride could not stand for simply bowing your head, and as your mind raced, the sheer fury you’d been stewing in all throughout the night before, all the angry words you’d monologued in your head and vowed to spew at him when you saw him again, all came rushing back.
You swallowed, fingers curling even harder around the fabric around your thighs. Now that it was just the two of you, although you still fought it as best as you could, you couldn’t help that your eyes watered, burning as your vision blurred out of pure frustration and misery.
“I… I know you did all of this on purpose! I only got all the way out there because you let me, a-and…”
The words came out in a trembling, wavering voice, far weaker than intended.
He exhaled a heavy sigh, closing his eyes in frustration. His voice was still characteristically gentle, but you could hear his patience waning. “We can discuss this inside.”
“But I—”
“Inside.”
You stiffened, freezing in place. That was not a tone you heard often in your married life, more firm than normal.
You swallowed, gaze darting to the ground again, unable to summon a reply and not wanting to make eye contact again. With another heavy exhale, he pulled at your arm with a gentle tug, and this time, you followed, feet quickly shuffling behind his.
You didn’t say a word, though, through the full minute or so of walking across the courtyard, through the front doors, down the hall, only dimly lit today due to curtains hanging over the windows lining the walls. It occurred to you with a sinking feeling in your stomach that you were headed straight for your shared bedroom, rather than one of the estate’s many drawing rooms and lounges, which meant the anticipated conversation to come would be one you’d both want kept in privacy. Your stomach felt as if it were turning in knots, your chest compressed by an unseen force, each breath feeling strenuous and weighted.
And then, finally, you both came to a halt as you reached the last room at the end of the hall. You felt helpless, unable to do anything as you watched the handle of the door turn, stumbling in as you were guided forward by the hand that came to gently press on your lower back.
Likewise, equally pitifully, you could do nothing but stand there and wait as you listened for the door to close behind you, clenching your jaw at the trepidation in your chest from the footsteps on the floor behind you, but made sure to not let your fear swallow your fury.
“Now,” he began slowly as he moved around you to the other side of the room, voice now back to its usual tone, but still firm nonetheless, “I can tell you have a great deal you want to get off your chest, but you’ll have to forgive me for a moment… your well-being is my primary concern.” He looked you up and down, and his voice took on a note of concern that admittedly sounded sincere. “You aren’t hurt in any way, are you, dear?”
You bit your lip at the affectionate term, and more importantly, at how unbothered he came across. Granted, you now knew just how much of the past twelve hours or so had been entirely within his control, so it made sense that he was never genuinely distressed, but admittedly, it was also disappointing. Part of you wanted him to have been panicked and worried, to get the satisfaction of knowing you’d successfully gotten under his skin.
Still, you shook your head, keeping your gaze to the ground as you gave a curt, frustrated reply. “No.”
“Good,” his eyes closed for a moment, taking a heavy breath of pause. “Well, in that case…” He leaned back against the wall, folding his arms. “I believe this would be the best time to give you a moment to explain yourself.”
You couldn’t miss the obvious foreboding in his voice, nor the way it made your body stiffen.
But you had already prepared for that — you knew it would be intimidating, that it would be awkward and shameful, but you had spent the previous few hours trying to preemptively harden your resolve against that. Besides, after it was interrupted earlier, you now had the chance to get back to what was essentially the pre-written script you’d memorized in your head of exactly every little thing you wanted to say to him.
Unfortunately, as it turned out, the you that was standing there in front of him was significantly less brave than the ‘you’ in the scenes you’d played out in your head on the journey home.
Still, you clenched your hands into fists, thinking you had to at least force him to acknowledge the one point you’d deemed most important.
“You let me leave.”
In your mind, you’d spoken with a bold voice and looked him directly in the eye… and while the same words came out of your mouth, they were instead said with a weak, shrill attempt at an accusatory tone, pathetically looking to the wall as you found yourself unable to summon the gall to look up, once more lacking the firm accusation and self-assuredness your imaginative self had had.
He tilted his head. “That’s not a very accurate way to put it. I never granted you any such permission… I was simply aware of your intent to run off, and didn’t stop you.”
For a moment, you contemplated asking how he knew — but you had a feeling the answer would only make you more upset. His voice was laden with a faux sincerity, a sort of disingenuousness that made your blood boil, enough to embolden you further as you continued.
“And you… you had people following me the whole time, I know you did!” Your voice began to get louder as you grew bolder, bitter anger strengthening you against any trepidation. “They didn't even do a good job! I started noticing them towards the end of it!”
"Well, that would be because they were specifically told that concealment was not necessary.” He kept up the dry manner of speech, seemingly unbothered by your fury. “They deserve a break from high effort jobs every now and then, surely you understand. Besides, they didn’t directly interfere with your little outing, yes?”
He was so calm in contrast to your visible irritation, no doubt at least in part deliberate. It only served to make you even more mad.
“They told the local doushin to — no, you told them to tell them! There’s no other way that could have happened! I-I, I got," in sheer frustration, you jerked your fists in a sharp downward motion, "arrested!"
“I’m very well aware.”
“They put me in jail!”
“I do believe that is the standard process for an arrest, yes.”
“I was all by myself for hours!”
“Naturally. I couldn’t allow you to be placed with any dangerous persons, that’s why you were put in a solitary space.”
You clenched your fists so hard they trembled. “You, y-you let me get that far in the first place, and, and…” A lump formed in your throat again, which you did your best to suppress. “…Just to make me go through all that… I was there for hours before they came for me…” Your face scrunched up as you fought the urge to cry.
You hung your head, shoulders falling as you let your body relax, the fuse of anger burning out as it turned to a quiet bitterness swelling in your stomach. What was even the point? You knew better than to think your emotions would be given any weight, treated as anything beyond trivial.
A few moments of quiet passed, perhaps to see if you would say anything more, or perhaps just to force you to wait in uncomfortable uncertainty. After a moment, he shifted his posture slightly before unfolding one arm, holding out his hand in a standard gesture of speech.
“And what have we learned?”
You never would have thought one question could send such a spark of fury through your body in a single moment. Everything, from the wording to the timing to his tone, felt utterly mocking, infantilizing in a way that made you seethe.
You swallowed, practically trembling. “That you’ll go to any lengths to humiliate me?”
He returned the extended arm to its former position, exhaling heavily, straightening his stance. “It's rather unfair to assume I had such malicious intent. Stopping you early on in the past has clearly not worked in the long term, so further measures were necessary.” He tilted his head to meet your averted gaze, reflexively turning your attention back to him, eyes connecting with yours. “My only intention was that you would have some time to reflect on your series of decisions… and hopefully return with a change of heart. These episodes of yours are worrisome.” He gave a brief pause before finishing, “claiming I had cruel intent when you know in your heart that I only arranged this because I care for you… that's rather harsh, isn't it?”
You clenched your jaw, refusing to acknowledge the notion that the words were genuine. Admittedly having fallen for the words die a moment, you mentally shook off the momentary feeling of guilt.
These situations always went the same way, you'd be driven to apologize and feel bad about your choices. You had never met anyone else in your life with such a mastery of speech-craft as to be able to control your emotions and actions with words as easily as if it were pushing buttons on a machine. The first few times, you'd actually fallen for it, found yourself completely malleable, psyche bending and shifting to another's whims. At least with time, you'd become more resilient, had learned to notice and recognize the attempts… so you believed.
You opted to avoid answering the quesiton. Instead of acknowledging his own words, you turned to another matter that had come to mind during your escapade.
“Aren’t you abusing your authority? How are you even allowed to do this to begin with?!”
He took another deep breath, as if it were a trivial matter, or one that shouldn’t necessitate explanation.
“It’s… complicated, but the law does fully permit estates to employ local forces to locate any missing property belonging to the estate… people employed or bound to it are a sort of grey area in that regard.” After a moment of pause, he added, “besides, I also made it very clear that you were not in your right mind at the time, so your wellbeing was of immediate concern, and they were happy to help.”
“What?” The anger in your tone only rose. “I was perfectly in my right mind, you, you… a-and I’m not…”
A few moments passed as you trailed off, having to pause to collect yourself, blink away frustrated tears.
He opened his mouth as if to respond, but seemed to decide against whatever he'd considered saying, closing his eyes and taking a breath before finally replying in a more exasperated tone.
“You're making yourself upset needlessly. I can only do so much… in the end, I only wanted to keep you safe. You have to be the one to accept the grace you're given. Wouldn't that be easier for you?”
There was still unease to his tone, but the way he said it was nonetheless indicative of a sort of tiredness, as if not wanting to carry on about the matter anymore. It almost sounded like he was saying that you “accepting” his “grace” was all that was required to bury the matter entirely.
You spoke slowly, cautiously.
“You’re not… mad?”
“…I never said that.” He shifted away from leaning against the wall, standing upright. ”Of course, I can’t allow this to go entirely unacknowledged.”
He took a few steps towards you, and you fought the urge to step back, keeping your arms rigidly straight at your side as he continued.
“Normally, a proper form of consequence would be in order… however, after consideration, I realized that this was in large part my own fault, and I owe it to you to take responsibility for that.”
The words took you by surprise. The idea that he was in any way acknowledging that he had any responsibility for what you did was baffling, all things considered. He had never once even acknowledged that refusing to let you leave the estate was essentially holding you prisoner, and usually insisted that everything he did was what was best for you, even if, as he seemed to believe was the case, you did not understand that.
You hesitated before replying. “What… what do you mean?”
He flashed you an amiable smile. “A lesser person would only act on their momentary frustrations, but I’m not the sort of person who acts without understanding the situation. Luckily, I do understand you.” He looked off to the side, holding a hand up to his chin in a pensive pose, before adding in a quieter voice, “I made the mistake of getting too caught up in my work recently. Acting out over feelings of neglect is entirely different from misbehavior out of sheer petulance.”
He turned his head back towards you again before finishing,
“It would be cruel to respond to a cry for attention as if it were ordinary disobedience.”
The words took you aback, and you hesitated in your response, but as it fully registered in your mind, the momentary surprise was replaced with shameful fury. You held your arms firmly at your side, hands balled into fists as you replied.
“What?! I didn't— I didn’t do it for attention!”
You felt foolish for thinking for even a second that he might actually empathize with you, might finally come to enough humility to realize that much of your perceived disobedience was due to the sheer degree of meticulous, total control he held over everything you did. But no, instead, your attempt to run away was being treated as attention-seeking. It felt belittling, degrading.
He took a short breath, as if about to say something, but as his gaze fell upon you again, he simply exhaled, an amused smile forming on his face, replacing the former exasperation — and only infuriating you further, realizing even your anger wouldn't be taken seriously.
“Yes, yes, of course.” He made no effort to hide the dismissive amusement in his voice, either, but cleared his throat before returning to a more neutral tone before you could give any retort. “Regardless, you've been through a lot already. If you can be mature and calm down, make some acknowledgement of the trouble you’ve caused and show some remorse, then, I'm willing to somewhat overlook this.” Making direct contact between your eyes and his, he finished, “Won’t that be easier on us both?”
The obvious dismissal of your statement and implications of what he thought made your face feel hot. The embarrassment that had already been weighing down on you now became suffocating, and the utter arrogance of the presumption of your willingness to comply made you so upset it felt nauseating.
“What does ‘somewhat’ mean?” You tried to suppress the irritation in your voice.
He gave another heavy sigh. “Should you really be asking for specifics? It’s your best course of action regardless.”
You opened your mouth and inhaled as if to speak, holding your closed fists up to your chest, ready to spew every ounce of vitriol you’d been building up, and then, you fell silent as your eyes met.
His expression grew dark, eyes half-lidded and features blank — not contorted with anger nor curiosity, but merely waiting, watching, warning. Anticipating your defiance, prepared to react accordingly.
You looked down, hesitating.
Was it really worth it…? A few moments of lashing out, at what cost? ‘Consequences’ hurt, in one sense or another, they always did, no matter what form that word took.
You swallowed. He was right — one path before you was wiser.
You hung your head.
“…I’m sorry…”
Even with your gaze turned downward, you could see his eyes widen just a bit in your peripheral vision, not having expected such quick compliance — understandably so, based on your past incidents. But after a moment, his expression softened. He took another step, closing the gap between you, cupping your face in his hands and forcing you to lift your head back up.
“Mm. I’m glad you understand. You know, you've matured quite a bit recently.”
You almost, almost found yourself feeling happy at the praise, but then pushed that feeling away. It was part of the way he did things, part of the process, so you'd slowly come to recognize, putting the pieces together over and over until you became aware of how he managed to bring you down to submission each time. You refused to be swayed by that. You were only giving it up and apologizing because it was the was the easier, less painful choice… so you reminded yourself. Now, at least, you'd be done with this, could move on and quietly begin plotting again.
But then, as you felt his hand move down to your shoulder, then to your waist, you remembered the ‘somewhat.’
Yes, of course it couldn’t be left at that, wouldn’t be so simple as forcing you into humility just once.
You knew that full well. These checks of obedience after an act of disobedience never came solitary, and the desire for that subservience to be affirmed was not easily satiated. It would only grow deeper, an increasing hunger for your subservience. Pushing your pride further and further down, carving into your personhood and whittling away anything deemed unfitting. It would only go further, debasing you in increasingly violating ways.
You felt a gnawing in your stomach. You hadn’t thought of that part, in the moment, but the realization now made your heartrate begin to accelerate once more.
His eyes drifted downward.
“…Ah, right. The clothes you’re wearing, we need to have a servant wash them for you. Just set them by the door for now.”
You looked down. You hadn’t even bothered to think about it until now, having been so preoccupied with other thoughts, but indeed, the oh-so-nice and expensive clothing you’d been so lovingly lavished with, was now fully coated in grime and dirt.
At the same time, your immediate instinct was to protest the idea, knowing the intent. He wasn’t going to get you a replacement — which he himself would need to do, seeing as all of your clothing was, no doubt deliberately, kept outside the bedroom itself, and it had been established early on that you were to rely on him or servants to fetch whatever he would have you wear that day for you. Was the command too, then, intentional?
The very moment you even asked yourself the question, though, came the immediate answer, making you feel foolish for even questioning it. Of course it was intentional, planned — what wasn’t, anymore, in your life? You remembered looking back, on the day you were brought here, thinking over the past with borderline horror at the realization of how intricately detailed and precise every detail had been in his effort — what you now were certain was a premeditated plan — to get your family to call off the years-long betrothal you’d already been in, and marry you off to him instead. That realization of it all had kept you rightfully afraid of him, knowing he was always one step ahead of whatever you might attempt.
The corners of your mouth pulled taut with embarrassment, and you pulled your hands in towards your chest again, elbows pressed firmly to your sides. “That’s…”
He caught a glimpse of your face, and in turn smiled, an amused sort of expression. “Come on now,” he took a step towards you, reaching out and grasping at your hands, pulling them out of their defensive position, “even now, you’re still so shy over this?”
“I— no, I’m not—” you cut off, teeth clacking together as you snapped your mouth shut when his hands released yours, instead moving around to the binding ties of your outfit, pulling the knot apart.
You held your hands up to the level of your shoulders, bent at the elbow, fingers curled as if preparing to reach forward, to grasp at his hands, to do something.
But you didn’t.
The exchange was itself a means of conversation, communicating something not fully articulable by word alone. Violating your comfort and dignity, baring you to him, those things themselves were an assertion, a statement. To interrupt would be to challenge that assertion, to deny him. And perhaps it was, in part, also a test, a question of whether or not you would dare to deny the unspoken statement.
As the silk strands came undone, the first layer gave way to the second, and pulling apart that knot caused the fabric bound by it to slide apart, exposing your bare skin to the cool air.
An unspoken reminder that your body was not your own, that any right to autonomy and privacy you might have beyond this room, no longer existed within it. Access to you was not a privilege granted by your permission, but an inherent right, provided by the very contract that legally bound you to him.
The casual, unhesitating manner with which you were stripped down only emphasized that that very reality itself was not something to be regarded as of any great significance, but a fact accepted as readily as any other. Exposing you, touching you, exercising that unconditional access to your body was given no greater thought than utilizing any of one’s possessions.
There was nothing he could ever say to you, nor adequate words to even exist, to fully encapsulate the degree to which you were owned — but with that gesture, you understood all the same.
And even though the humiliation of the reminder made your eyes burn, made you bite your lip, you lowered your hands to your side. An admission of defeat, surrender.
It did not go unnoticed. He smiled.
“Very good. You’re behaving much better today than I anticipated.”
Another moment of praise. He was genuinely pleased. You could see it and hear it through his face and voice.
Were it on any other matter, you might have felt proud to be praised in such a sweet, charming voice. If the praise were on something you actually wanted to achieve.
And then, his eyes trailed downward, running over your body, taking in each detail. His eyebrows furrowed as his gaze settled on one particular spot.
“You really shouldn't lie to me,” he spoke in a quiet, low voice.
At first, you felt a momentary panic, not quite sure what he even meant, thinking you had somehow made a unintentional transgression. It wasn't until you looked down that you saw the scrape just below your collarbones from your, admittedly unsightly, vigorous resistance upon initial confrontation with the doushin the night prior, having essentially had to have been wrestled down to the concrete street. In hindsight, you were even surprised with yourself for putting up such a fight, but at the time it had just been the instinctive reflex, fueled by desperation.
It all felt distant now, as if further back in time than it was, the memory all blurring together. It was only a very small mark, and had now scabbed up as part of the natural healing process, but as his fingers brushed over the spot, you still tensed at the slight lingering sting.
“It doesn't really hurt,” you replied nonetheless. “It's fine…”
He only straightened back upright, closing his eyes momentarily.
“I suppose I shouldn't have expected common doushin to be able to follow instructions… just so you know, I did specifically say to ensure you weren't hurt in any way.” He turned his gaze downward, hand held to his chin as he added in a low mutter, “I'll be sure to only use private hands in the future, should I need something like this again.”
You shrugged, turning your eyes downward to the floor once more. Really, you wanted to not have to think about the incident any further, the mere memory stirring up embarrassment, which did not combine well with your already vulnerable state. “It's fine. It's not a big deal,” you grumbled. After a moment of hesitation, feeling another urge of spite, you added, “it wouldn't have happened if you didn't… do all that.”
He huffed in exasperation, but was quiet for the moment, seemingly composing his thoughts before replying.
“Don’t be disagreeable. We've discussed this. I care for you dearly, but that does not mean that you are exempt from expectations to behave.”
He always gave you that line — that a behavioral matter of yours had been previously ‘discussed,’ which merely meant he'd told you not to do something, or behave a certain way. That was the end-all-be-all — whatever you were told was set in stone the moment it left his mouth, and transgressing against the standard that was set was often treated as if you’d forgotten, as if it slipped your mind, the idea of intentional and deliberate disobedience being something unthinkable to such a degree that simply having done so by accident were more believable to him — and perhaps you ought be grateful for that.
You clamped your jaw shut, turning your head downward.
His gaze turned back to your body.
“…Your nerves are unsettled.” His hand slid it's way down your side, the feeling of touch lingering in a trail behind as his palm brushed over the curvature of your waist. “See, that's what causes these irrational episodes of yours. Stress, overexcitement. It just… builds naturally for you, over time.” After a moment, taking in your expression, he added, “it's nothing to feel bad about, dear. I don't mind helping you with it at all… I'm glad I can do so, really. I worry about how you'd manage without having me to help.”
You hesitated before giving a response. “What… what do you mean? I'm not… irrational…”
It was as if your words went in one ear and out the other, continuing on without responding to your objection. “But again, I failed to keep it in check this time, so this was ultimately my own fault… I'll have to make a note to be more thorough.”
His hand grasped at your waist, pulling you close. His other hand reached up, cupping your breast. He looked over towards your shared bed.
“Come on. Let's get you in bed.”
“Huh? But—”
His grip tightened. “Don't be difficult.”
Your stomach began to churn. You were still angry. The last thing you wanted was to go through what was essentially a humiliation ritual. There was something about the act itself — at least, between the two of you — that made you feel embarrassed and ashamed. The inherent vulnerability, for one, but moreover, because you knew the intent, you knew the way he viewed it in his mind, could practically feel the sentiment. An act of claiming, an exchange of power in which your loss of dignity became his gain of pride and control. Carving into your very personhood, marking you as something belonging to him.
Your opened your mouth, but whatever you intended to say was cut off by your small noise of surprise as you were pulled forward, in a manner that was somehow so gentle in touch, yet forceful enough to move your whole body towards his. His arm wrapped around your frame, the other positioning itself underneath your thighs before lifting you up and moving down to sit.
You fidgeted, tried to pull away — but his grip tightened, as much to secure you as it was a warning, telling you to hold still.
“It's for your sake. This will help you… you may not realize that yet, but you’ll thank me, I promise.”
His hands moved to your hips and turned you so that your back rested against his chest.
“As I was saying, you simply… build stress and neurosis, naturally. It's not your fault, really. You're just sensitive to changes, stressors... Every individual has at least some… defects in their nature.”
His hands retracted, and there was a brief rustling sound before they returned to your skin, now ungloved, flesh on flesh. The contact sent sparks through your nerves.
“That's why people pair with those they are compatible with. They fill each other's needs, compliment each other’s natures… I’m obligated to take those defects and resolve them.”
He gave you a smile — you couldn't see it, but could feel it as his lips pressed softly against your neck. Warm, full of sincerity and adoration.
“I wouldn’t do that if it weren’t out of care… and you in turn provide me with something that needs care and guidance. I enjoy having that.”
For all his attempts at soothing words and the gentleness of the touch, you knew in your heart that there was no doubt that that was part of the intent — to humble you, to tame you and make you docile, to make you submit. Forcing you to such a vulnerable state and inflicting reactions of pleasure was itself an act of exerting power and control.
It was, in a way, remarkable, that the human spirit could not only be broken by both brutal cruelty, but equally — or, perhaps even more effectively — eroded away with a gentle voice and touch, humiliation so deeply intertwined with affection that they became impossible to distinguish from each other, forming a unique sentiment that was both one and the other.
You were endearing to him, but that affection for you was like a venom that ran through your veins — an affection that diminished you, reduced you to some inhuman possession, a toy to be manipulated in any way he desired.
It made you feel sick. It made you feel angry, it tormented your psyche—
Your thoughts were turned to a haze as his fingers rolled your nipple between them. You inhaled a sharp gasp, back arching forward.
Processing your own reaction, embarrassment took place of the momentary pleasure, and your face felt hot. You reached an arm up instinctively to cover your breasts, pulling away from the touch.
“…We've had this conversation before, haven't we?” He reached up, grasping your jaw with a grip just firm enough to communicate a warning.
You swallowed and, albeit not without just a moment of hesitation, lowered your arm. You looked down, breasts now exposed fully. “I'm… sorry…”
He gave you a hum of approval, returning to the former fondling, fingers playing with the sensitive flesh. You bit your lip, breathing growing labored.
After a few minutes, his hands wandered downward, slowly, softly, down to your thighs, then back up over your hips, where they finally settled.
“Touch yourself.”
The command caught you off-guard. Your eyes widened. “…What?”
“Before I help you,” he murmured, “I want to see what you will do for me. That's only fair, don't you think?” He squeezed at your waist.
“Prove to me…” he leaned forward, breath hot against your ear, “that you know your place. Do as I say.”
You swallowed.
It was in your best interest to obey.
You reached down slowly, shivering as your fingers brushed over your clit. You pressed down, beginning to rub your outstretched fingers back and forth. With your other hand, you reached up, tweaking your nipple just enough to send pleasure through your nerves.
“There you go.” He pulled you a bit closer to him, so your bodies were firmly pressed together. He craned his neck, no doubt catching your abashed, embarrassed expression.
Not that he would give you any words of comfort on that matter, tell you not to feel embarrassed. He only smiled, grasping your hair and forcing your head to turn, pressing your mouth to his. It was only a short contact, parting with the softest of sounds.
His grip on your hip tightened, and you realized why he’d pulled back when he spoke.
“Don’t stop.”
You hadn’t realized you had, too focused on the slight surprise to being kissed. You took a shuddering breath, and resumed the motion. Your eyes closed, heightening your senses — the sensation of each touch and the shockwaves it sent through your core to every nerve in your body.
Your breathing quickly became labored. Even if you were inducing the sensation itself, it was good. You bit your lip as a soft, weak little sound came out of your throat, unable to refrain from vocalizing at the intensity of the feeling.
“Not just like that.” One of his hands reached down to your thigh, hand wrapping around the underside of it and pulling it to the side, spreading you open further. “Go on.”
“Mm…” You couldn’t summon any particular words, overwhelmed by the conflicting sensations — the heat to your face and knot in your stomach at the shameless way your body was so exposed, at the feeling of being watched as if the act were a performance, and the haze of arousal that rapidly began to cloud your judgement, obscuring the feeling of discomfiture, drowning your inhibition.
Even without the pleasure compromising your hesitation, you didn’t want to think about the alternatives if you refused to obey — this was thus far, comparatively, far from the worst consequences you’d ever received for acting out.
You reached down further, pushing two of your fingers past the slick coating your flesh and inside your body, curling them into the spot that made you tense, made your muscles spasm, over and over, each movement sparking a rush that surged throughout your body.
Each breath was a deep gasp. Your toes curled, your muscles went taut and your insides clenched around your own fingers.
But something was missing.
It was pleasurable, but there just wasn’t enough to push you over the edge. The sensations were too weak.
Your body had been conditioned something more, and this was not comparable.
Sweat began to accumulate on your skin as you kept curling your fingers, desperately chasing a high. His arm moved from your hip to wrap around your waist, pressing another kiss to your neck.
You tried. Frustration began to build. Your eyes watered as you curled your fingers as hard as you could, pressed as far in as they would go, down to the knuckle.
It wasn’t deep enough.
It wasn't what you were used to. Your fingers were too short, just short of reaching that one perfect spot that made you lose yourself in pleasure, melting to a mewling mess.
You shuddered. You couldn’t reach a climax, no matter how hard you tried to focus. Even without orgasm, though, your exertion reached a peak you couldn’t carry on further from, and your fingers stopped moving as you went limp, trying to catch your breath, frustration and desperation nearly enough to make you cry. Your head fell back, eyes closed as you panted.
You could feel the corners of his mouth upturn against the flesh of your neck.
“…Is something wrong?”
Your jaw clenched, and you swallowed the lump in your throat.
That was the other goal of it, besides proving yourself to him — it was also to prove something to you. Something you didn’t want to admit out loud, something that made your chest swell with bitterness just to admit to yourself, much more so to do so aloud.
“I can’t… I can't do it.”
“Mm.” He pulled you further back against him. “Then, what do you need?”
The tingling sensation, the desperate need, the remnant frustration of lost pleasure, was too much to bear. You swallowed your pride, closing your eyes as you forced the words out.
“…I need you to do it…”
You were expecting him to say something in return, but for a moment, he was only quiet. He began to drum his fingers back and forth against your waist.
“Is that so?”
You nodded again, which seemed to be to his displeasure—
“Use your words.”
“Yes…” You swallowed.
You waited, but no touch came.
“Hm. How odd.” His voice was low and quiet, but unmistakably derisive. “You seemed to think you were perfectly capable of caring for yourself, running off like you did.”
Your eyes welled with tears. You shook your head back and forth, unable to bring yourself to speak.
“No?” His hand trailed downward until it ghosted over your sex, the lightest of touches, borderline torment. “Then, you can't do this for yourself?”
“…No…”
He moved his face even closer, speaking directly into your ear.
“Then what do you say? Tell me exactly what you need. Show me.”
You swallowed. The burning of humiliation in your chest was almost too much to bear. Had your insides not still been alight with the wavering, tight feeling of need, your pride would have outweighed your desire. But in that moment, it did not.
You spread your still-quivering legs wide apart.
“…Please touch me.”
“Mm. And what do you want from that? For how long?”
You squeezed your eyes shut.
“I want to cum.”
Finally — finally — his fingers pressed down against your clit, enough pressure to send waves of pleasure up your spine.
“There, see…” He pressed another kiss to your face. “Aren't things so much easier when you just choose to be honest?”
You nodded. “Yes. I… I’m sorry…”
He gave a low hum of acknowledgement. “This stubbornness is just your nature.” His fingers slid back and forth, gracing the bundle of nerves with friction. “But that can be fixed.”
You bit your lip. “I… I’m not— ah—”
One motion of his hand was particularly firm, the sensation it sent through your nerves so intense it was almost painful. Your hands shot forward, grasping at his wrist.
It was only when the motion stopped that you realized you’d erred — it was a habit of reflexively grabbing at his hands when a sensation was too intense, trying to pry them off — something he very much did not like you doing.
Sure enough, he sighed, frustration blatantly evident. You jerked your hands away, but it was already too late to take back the first offense.
“…Now,” he started, “Can you refrain from doing that again, or do I need to bind them?”
“I…” you paused, realizing you genuinely needed to think it through. You weren’t certain if you could abstain.
You felt him shift back, leaning away from your body.
“Well, that’s enough of an answer itself.”
You heard the rustling of clothes, felt movement behind you, and you turned your head over your shoulder just in time to see as he pulled off first the top layer, then the undershirt over his head and off his body. You made a soft sound as he then pushed down on your back with a firm touch, forcing you to lean forward, grasping at your hands and pulling them behind your back — firmly, enough to be a clear message to not try to dissuade him, but your pride, weak as it was, still couldn't let it happen with no objection at all.
“Wait, wait, I can do it, I don't need—”
“This is for your sake. Hold still.”
“But I—”
“Be still.” He spoke firmly, but softened his voice as he continued, “It’s not your fault for having that reflex… but you have to train yourself against it. You want to be good, don't you?”
You shut your mouth, nodding as you sounded an answer. “Mm-hm…”
Cloth wrapped tightly around your wrists, using one sleeve to bind them together. Not enough of a bind that you couldn’t break out with some effort, but just enough to keep you from reflexively trying to interfere.
“Now where were we…”
You were pulled back once more, perhaps even closer. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest against your back.
And his hand quickly moved back down, and the bliss of shockwaves of pleasures overcame you once more. You whimpered, biting your lip.
His fingers pressed more firmly, rubbing circles into the nub, and for a moment, your wrists jerked against the bind as the reflex kicked in. It was too much at once, but now, you were prevented from doing anything about it. As he began to rub in circular motions, your body shuddered, and an involuntary moan came out of your throat — a wanton, shameful sound, laced with pleasure and lust.
“There you go.” You could feel him speak, shuddering at the vibration of his chest against your back and the warm breath against your ear. His other hand rolled your nipple between a finger and thumb. “Give into it.”
Your body trembled against his touch, and jolted as his own fingers pressed inside of you. His were longer, and the touches firmer, and the result was a degree of pleasure you were simply incapable of replicating on your own.
As much as you hated it — hated to think it, hated to acknowledge it, hated to try and not acknowledge it as the reality prodded at the back of your mind — he made you feel better than anything you had ever experienced, better than anything you could ever make yourself feel.
You whimpered, toes and fingers curling. Your hips moved, a rolling motion to meet each pressing movement.
A singular motion, and singular sound, both of which you near-immediately caught yourself doing, having been too lost in the feeling to think clearly. You cut off your voice and went still, but it didn’t go unnoticed.
“Don’t.” He didn’t stop moving his fingers as he spoke, instead pressing down with harsh force, essentially pulling you back closer to him with the hand partially inside you. “Holding yourself back like that is another form of dishonesty.”
You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut, but unable to form a response before he continued.
“And you wouldn’t want,” the fingers that had been gently tweaking at your breast pinched down hard, a momentary spark of pain and the lowering of his voice making you go tense, “to make this unpleasant because you couldn’t be good for me, would you?”
You shook your head back and forth with vigor. There were many punishments in your domestic repertoire that were unpleasant, and the thought of any of them made your heart skip a beat. “No, no, I don’t… want that…”
“Then you’re going to be honest, aren’t you?”
“Yes! Yes, I promise…”
“Mm.”
He kept rubbing his thumb against your clit, even in perfectly synched timing to each motion his fingers curled inward inside of you.
It was so pleasurable, so intense, it made you angry. Mad that he was capable of it, mad that his control over your body was greater than your own, and most of all, mad that he did it with such ease, effortless, that making you come undone entirely was something he mastered without ever being taught.
That pleasure began to build and build. You squirmed and whimpered, muscles throughout your body tensing and relaxing over and over. Your hips rolled into his hand. Each movement built the pressure in your body higher and higher, rapidly reaching a peak.
The edge that climax made you quiver, body and legs trembling.
“There it is…” his voice was so soft and gentle, soothing in a way it had no right to be.
The noise that came out of your mouth was nearly animal-like, a whimpering cry as you threw your head back, quivering and spasming. The waves of sensation pulsated throughout your body, reaching a peak and then beginning to ebb away.
You went limp, bodyweight falling back against his chest, heaving with heavy breaths. Your head felt as if it were spinning, and you stared forward in a dull stupor, body trembling with aftershock.
You twitched at the feeling of his fingers sliding out of you, with a wet squelching sound that made you shiver.
“Look at that…”
He spread his fingers apart, clear fluid forming a trail between them. You bit your lip, tilting your head downward in a futile attempt of avoidance of what you knew well came next — but that effort was quickly negated as he grabbed your jaw, turning your head back up and squeezing your face.
“Open.”
The force of the grip as he squeezed down more or less forced your jaw apart anyway. You didn't even get to take a breath before he pushed his fingers into your mouth, salty taste spreading over your tongue.
“Clean them off.”
Maybe it was a way of forcing you to acknowledge your own bodily reaction, even if you tried to deny it to yourself. Maybe it was much simpler than that — just another way to degrade you, or something simply arousing for him because it just was.
You complied nonetheless. Your tongue swirled around each finger, sucking and swallowing the taste of yourself. Even as he pulled his fingers back out, a string of saliva connected them to your tongue.
And then, after wiping his fingers off on the fabric around his thigh, he returned the arm to your waist, pulling you close, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“See… so much more at ease now, aren't you?”
That was one way to put it. You couldn't even bring words to your mind. Even processing what he said felt like a significant effort. Everything felt far away, your mind like a blank slate, numb and empty. Your body was even more exhausted, totally lax aside from involuntary twitches.
You made a soft sound as he turned your body to the side, just enough to look you face-to-face. Looking down at your watery eyes as they met his, the stupor in your expression, even as your brain began to clear, as if a machine turning back on after a few moments of darkness.
And he smiled. It was soft, full of endearment. And belittling. It was not made any better by the small chuckle he gave, patting the top of your head.
It burned in your chest, down into your stomach.
Your eyebrows furrowed and your lower lip quivered, an admittedly petulant pout. Shame formed a knot in your stomach. Disappointment in yourself, ending up like this again after swearing so many times over that this one would be the last, the last time you'd come apart so easily, the last time you'd find yourself spent and susceptible to the touch that seemed as if it were designed for your body.
And he laughed. An amused chuckle, patting your head.
“Mm. I had a feeling that wouldn't be quite enough.”
He leaned in, firmly grasping at your arms as you tried to squirm, bringing his mouth so close to yours, forehead resting against yours.
“But, that does admittedly work out for my sake.”
You grunted in surprise as he hooked his arm under your legs again, this time only lifting you just enough to set you down onto the padding of your bed, gently pushing on your shoulders until you were flat on your back, arched over your hands bound behind you.
“A-ah, I…” You swallowed, grasping at the sheets to the best of your ability. It was nothing you weren't anticipating, but the vulnerability made you tense.
It didn't help that he paused any motion, eyes trailing over your body, before reaching down and running his hands over your flesh, one moving to grip at your waist, the other your opposite hip. You couldn’t reach to cover yourself, forced to lay bare and vulnerable. Instinctively, you pressed your thighs together, but firm hands grabbed at the undersides, pushing them apart and positioning himself between them so you couldn’t close them again.
The former act was not enough. Putting you through the ordeal of being made to wait in jail like a child in time-out was not enough, exposing your body was not enough, toying with your body and forcing an acknowledgement of his own control was not enough.
Your lip trembled.
But anger still pervaded through your negative emotions. It compelled your courage, you felt defiance surging up. You had to look him in the eye, tell him exactly what you felt, tell him you knew what he was doing and push him off, then, maybe then you'd have the satisfaction of some sense of control.
You could do it. You had to.
“You… you're just doing the same thing as before!” Your eyebrows furrowed. “You’re trying to, to—”
“Again with this?” He tilted his head. “I really wish you wouldn’t assume such ill intent. This is how people love each other… you know that.”
You bit your lip. You almost, for just a second, fell for it, almost felt guilty. You shook your head forcefully, clearing your mind of the thought.
“No, I won't let you—”
And with that, there was a rapid shift in expression. His eyes narrowed in a piercing, foreboding look. You went silent.
Your shoulders stiffened. The words came out on impulse, resolve of defiance broken as quickly as it had formed. “I'm— I'm sorry—”
Dammit.
For once, the dark expression did not shift back to pleasant as soon as you apologized — an indicator of having gone too far. His hand slowly reached up, this time not in a loving caress or gentle-but-firm grip, but outright harsh grip on your jaw.
“You…”
He tilted his head forward to more directly look you in the eye. His voice was low and cold, making your heart race further.
“Do not ‘let’ anyone do anything.”
His fingertips pressed into your flesh, squeezing your face between them.
“I know you understand your place. Don’t behave as if you don’t.” Finally, his voice softened as he finished, “I can’t help you if you keep fighting me every step of the way. So… you’ll control yourself, won’t you?”
You swallowed, nodding your head, twitching as the motion made his fingernails dig into your cheeks.
“You know I don’t like being so harsh with you, don’t you?”
You nodded again.
“Good.” He leaned down and pressed his mouth to yours. Only for a short, chaste moment, but a slow, sensual motion nonetheless. You closed your eyes, tuning out the rustling clothes, heavily breathing with anticipation.
“You’ll have to forgive me for this. This whole ordeal has been stressful for me as well.”
You didn’t get time to ask what he meant — he rammed himself into you all at once, completely stuffing your body in one rough, forceful motion.
You cried out, back arching and body stiffening. You felt your insides clamp down, pulsating against the intrusion.
His hands tightened their grip on your waist, holding you still as the momentary sting ebbed away.
“There you go… calm down.”
You felt him slide out, then push back in, the latter movement sending sparks of sensation running up your spine, causing you to go tense all over again.
Your breathing became ragged, legs twitching and spasming at the sensation. You tried, without thinking, to snap them shut, but it only resulted in effectively squeezing his waist with you thighs.
The intensity of the sensation naturally induced a reflex of strain and exertion to your muscles, a need to channel the feeling through your body, causing your toes to curl, your thighs clamping down harder, quivering at the bare touch of flesh to flesh. You closed your eyes, but couldn't drown out the sound of skin making contact to yours, the sound itself increasingly accompanied by a wet squelching as skin met fluid with each passing second, leaking out of your body.
“You're so much more honest like this.” You could hear just the slightest strain in his voice, otherwise so very composed to perfection. “So meek… it's lovely. Once that resistance in you is fixed… you'll be perfect.”
You could see the corners of his mouth upturn into a look of amusement.
“You should see yourself.”
Your body stiffened, but all you could do was whimper. The words felt like a cold knife to the stomach — and you knew he knew that. Knew that that moment was you at your must vulnerable, the peak of awareness of your own helplessness, the moment you felt the most degraded, and yet, it still wasn't enough.
He leaned in close, speaking directly into your ear, so close you could feel the warmth as he spoke, never ceasing to move all the while.
“Whimpering and drooling like that,” he murmured. “You're trembling… and that expression on your face is so adorable. Like you can't even think straight.” He leaned back up, enough to look you in the eye — now welling with tears.
And again, he only smiled.
“How precious.”
His hands ran down your body, grabbed at your hips, and began to pull you, jerking your body back and forth to meet his own movements.
It was too much. Even with the knot of emotion in your stomach, you felt a hot, tingling pressure build in your body. Your legs quivered, the wanton little sounds from your throat higher and higher.
You didn't want that. It was the final part of this ritual that so demeaned you, one more confirmation of his control of you. You pressed your hands into the mat, trying to push yourself back — but it was only met with a harsh pull, forcing your body back until you practically slammed against his hips.
“Don't fight.”
It was the last thing you heard. You threw your head back as the sensation became overwhelming, back arching and eyes rolling back as the feeling reached a peak. You could only faintly register the high-pitched sound that sounded as if it couldn't be you, a voice you didn't recognize.
And then it began to ebb away. A hazy stupor filled the void as the pleasure dissipated, a feeling of exhaustion. Your weight went limp.
You made a soft sound as he grasped your jaw again, turning your head just enough to place another kiss to your lips.
“There you go. Look at you now… all that stress and in you, totally gone. You can see it in your eyes, even.”
He paused before adding,
“Well, gone for now. I'll have to start monitoring for it more closely.”
You shuddered at the sensation as he slid out of you, fluid spilling out onto the sheets.
You felt him reach behind you, untying your wrists — you brought your arms to the front of your body, but the forearms only laid useless, having fallen asleep from your weight.
He came to rest beside you, upper body slightly propped up on his elbow, head resting in his hand, looking down at you with adoration and endearment.
And you were so, so weak. So much weaker than you wished you were, body, mind and spirit alike. So weak that, in the rush of emotions that followed, you found yourself slowly crawling forward, burying your face against his chest with a pathetic little noise.
“Poor thing. Maybe that was a bit too much for you…”
His arm reached behind your back and pulled you close, and the comfort you felt seemed to melt your mind into nothingness.
“You should rest for a while,” he continued, “then we'll get you cleaned off. We have a few hours before you'll need to be ready.”
After a moment to process the words, you tilted your head up with the softest of inquisitive noises. The cold, creeping dread began to spread through your stomach once more.
He seemed to realize, then, that you didn’t understand.
“Ah, right, you wouldn't have known.” He reached out with the hand he wasn’t leaning on, brushing his fingers over your scalp. “While you were gone, I sent someone to arrange a house visit with a psychiatrist… a private one that works for families such as ours.”
His words certainly didn’t help soothe your nerves. Your mouth felt dry. Your voice came out weak, hesitant, part of you not wanting to ask, lest you learn an unpleasant answer.
“…Why?”
He tilted his head in just the slightest, loose strands of hair shifting and waving with the motion. “Well, keeping your needs in check does help with your condition, but I’ve realized it would do you good to have a secondary means to treat your hysteric tendencies as well.”
“My…” You swallowed. “My what?” The words slowly pieced together in your mind, hitting you with a sense of dread and confusion. You squirmed backwards, shifting just a bit away from him. “There's… nothing wrong with me…”
“Of course, of course, there’s nothing wrong, that’s…” He spoke in a reassuring sort of tone, as if to comfort you. “…A harsh choice of phrasing. You just need some help, is all.” After a moment of pause, he added, “don't worry, it's perfectly normal that you aren't self-aware of it. That's usually how these illnesses work.”
His arm reached out further, pulling you back towards him, pressing your bodies together before he continued.
“He’s just required to see you in-person for a little while before giving you anything. Regulations and all. We’re just going to get you something to make you a little more… docile.”
His arm wrapped around your body, and he pulled his head back just a bit to look you in the eye, smiling with endearment.
“Ah, I can tell by your face that you’re nervous. Don’t worry, I'll be there throughout the whole thing… I'll answer any questions, you just sit there quietly, alright?” He pulled you a bit closer, planting an affectionate, short kiss to the top of your head. “I know that sort of thing is a lot on your nerves.”
If your trembling could be felt, he didn’t say anything about it, only carrying on with his gently-spoken words.
“We won’t have to worry about you having these… irrational escapades anymore. And you’ll be so much happier, too.”
You felt his hand on your back, firmly in place — you were pressed so close together that there was no need to pull you any closer, but perhaps he wanted to be sure you couldn’t pull away.
“So… rest for now, alright?”
Mind and heart alike racing, in your stupor, you let the pause linger for too long. The hand on your back began to close in on itself, fingernails brushing against your skin just enough to send the faintest of pains up your spine.
You had no strength left in you to give anything other than the correct answer.
“Okay...”
He only gave you a hum of acknowledgement, and began to stroke your back up and down, a pattern that should have been comforting and soothing, yet was anything but. Exhaustion wore on your body, but even as you forced yourself to close your eyes, true rest was nowhere to be found.
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jacks347 · 3 months
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The bell on the coffee shop door jingled as Raven pushed it open, the familiar "Welcome to the Regrets Cafe!" greeting barely being processed. She ordered her usual, hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a peppermint stick. Call it childish, Raven found it comforting when she was wallowing in her own thoughts. Blame it on her growing motherly instincts from raising Paloma.
She carefully cradled the warm mug in her hands when her name was called, watching the steam peek our from the gaps in the melting whipped cream as she settled into her usual table by one of the massive front windows with a world weary sigh. What she failed to notice was that, for once, the table wasn't empty.
"Rough day?"
Raven just about fell out of her chair, head snapping up to see a person sitting across from her, the barest hint of a smile peeking out from behind the coffee mug they were sipping from.
When Raven finally recomposed herself in her seat, she cleared her throat before answering the question. "That's a word for it, sure." The person hummed, setting down their mug and leaning forward over the table. "Mentally or physically?" "...what?"
They gestured to the shop around them. "This is the Regrets Cafe. Hardly the place people go when they're just tired from a hard day at work but it wouldn't surprise me. So, I ask again, mentally or physically?" Raven blinked a couple times before sitting back in her chair, deflating a little. "Mentally." "I figured. What's on your mind?" "Are you always this prying?" "Only to the people who sit at my table looking like they hold the weight of the world on their shoulders."
Raven highly considered just getting up and moving to a different table at this point just so she wouldn't have to actually talk about what was going on in her head but by now, this person had caught their attention. "You first. Why are you here?" They chuckled at that, sitting back and crossing their arms over their chest. "Should've expected that." They turned and stared out the window into the setting sunlight. "Just thinking about someone I shouldn't." "Ex?" A whirlwind of emotions passed over their face at the question; anger, betrayal, sadness, regret, before landing on a cold mask of apathy with a click of their tongue. "Tsk. Nah, he's burning in hell where he belongs. Just...a friend who got caught in the crossfire." They finally turned their gaze back to Raven. "Now you. Got an ex on the mind?"
Raven sighed, laying their forehead on the table with a quiet thunk. "Ex feels too strong of a word for him. Like yes that is his title but it doesn't feel right." "Was he a good ex or a bad ex?" "What's the difference?" "Physical and/or psychological abuse. The fact you have to ask is a touch concerning." "Oh, well, by that definition he was a good ex." "Okay, where's the regret?" Raven paused for a moment to swallow the rock in her throat that had formed as she lifted her head off the table. "...he didn’t deserve to die. If it wasn't for me, he'd still be alive." "Ah, there it is. Survivors guilt." They nodded sagely. "Can't say it's an unfamiliar feeling, though it is an unfortunate one." "Did you lose your friend too?" "Mm, not quite. They're still alive just...don't remember me. And I can't talk to them again." "Can't bring yourself to?" "No, legally I cannot speak to them again. Trust me, I would if I could."
Raven almost laughed. Legalities, boy was she familiar with those. "Yeah, I get that. I lost my name the day I lost him. I lost...everything. Everything I'd ever known died with him. It had to." "Run away? Start a new life?" "Not exactly? Went into witness protection." "Ahhh, that explains it. So you had to start all over, leave everything behind whether you wanted to or not." "Pretty much." "Are you scared?" "Of witness protection?" "Of forgetting. Forgetting who you were, who you used to be. Are you scared of the day you forget your own name?" The intense stare the person was leveling them with made Raven shudder. She almost felt like she was back on trial. "Sometimes. But at the same time, that life brought me nothing but pain, I'm glad to leave it behind."
They sat back, eyes turning to the ceiling like they were searching for something in the tiles. "Do you regret loving him?" Their tone was softer, more thinking out loud than an actual question. Raven smiled the smallest bit, taking a swallow of her now significantly cooled cocoa. "Sometimes. But then I look at the people I have now and remember that I found them through loving him. So maybe it was all worth it." She watched their head tilt back down, looking at Raven again. "What about you? Do you regret loving your ex for what happened to your friend?" They sighed, chewing on their lip as they contemplated their words. "Every day. Every day I regret loving him because if I hadn't, they would be fine. They wouldn't have had to go through everything that they did. They wouldn't have had to get their mind wiped and all the memories taken away. They wouldn't have...had to forget me. Had to forget how they helped me in the lowest point of my life. Had to forget how much I cared about them." They paused, their jaw clenching to hold back tears. "But then I see the domino effect. The things that happened because of it. The person I met because of it. And then I wonder if it was all worth it and if fate really does exist. It's-" "Confusing. And complicated. And frustrating as hell." Raven finished for them, making them chuckle. "Sounds like you've done this before." Raven shrugged with a smile. "Not so much a reoccurance, more so just a more recent one." "Oh? So then miss recent expert, what's your opinion?" They leaned forward with a smile and a quirked brow. "What's your advice?"
Raven considered what to say for a while. What would her advice be? "Others can't write your story for you. They can hand you the pen and paper but they can't put the words on the page. You have to write your ending yourself. It's up to you to decide if you want to write it happily or not." The words rolled off her tongue easier than she thought they would. Her own spin on the words that kept her from running away from the best thing that happened to her. Would Crow be proud of her? She hoped so.
The person's eyed widened for a moment, blinking in surprise. "That was...shockingly profound. And actually really good advice. Huh. I'll have to remember that." Raven stirred her mostly melted peppermint stick through her cup. "Your turn now. What sage wisdom do you have for a newcomer to grief?" Raven half teased, not really expecting an answer.
"The world isn't out to get you. You're allowed to rely on others, the people around you want to help. You can't keep throwing yourself at the wall and expecting it to break every time. One of those times, it's going to be you that breaks. But when you do, you don't have to pick up all the pieces by yourself." They spoke softly, sounding like they were repeating a mantra. Maybe they were repeating advice of their own. Raven couldn't help laughing. "Sounds like we both are rehashing the words of someone far better at this than we are, huh." "Aw damn, you can tell that easily?" They both dissolved into laughter, not noticing the jingle of the bell at the door.
"Darlin?" A smooth Southern accent made Raven turn her head. Standing behind her new friend was a man, flannel shirt and worn blue jeans with a cowboy hat. Looked like he'd walked off the set of a western movie. Her friend tipped their head back to look at him and smiled. "Hey there cowboy. Come to find me?" "Clearly. I've been trying to text you but you haven't been answering." "Ah shit, have you? Sorry, got caught up talking, I haven't been checking my phone." They pulled their phone out of their pocket and scrolled through what Raven assumed was their missed messages. The cowboy just smiled and ruffled their hair. "It's fine, darlin. I'm glad you made a friend." He turned and faced Raven. "Sorry, should've introduced myself. Name's Sam. Their partner." Raven almost slapped herself when she realized she'd spent this whole time talking and never bothered to introduce herself. "Oh, hi. Sorry, I never actually introduced myself. I'm-" "Miss Raven!!"
A familiar excited voice interrupted her, the girl it belonged to running up to cling to her in a hug. "Paloma, don't run, you could slip." Ivan chided softly, coming up behind her. Raven just laughed, squeezing the little girl in return. "She's fine, Ivan. What are you even doing here?" "Well you weren't home at your usual time and hadn't texted so I figured you stopped on your way home somewhere and came to take a look. I'm just glad we found you." Ivan leaned down and kissed Raven's forehead, earning an amused look from her new friend. "He yours, I'm assuming?" "Yeah, he's mine. And the cowboy belongs to you?" "Who, this guy? Nah, he's just some puppy I picked up off the street one day." "Darlin..." Sam warned but his smile made the threat hollow. "Well, I thank you two for finding my girlfriend and keeping her in one place. Made it easier on me." Ivan offered, earning a wave from Sam. "Ah, don't thank me, thank my partner here. I only came in a minute before you did to find them myself. So I should be thanking you." "Please, it was no trouble. It was...quite the productive conversation." Raven waved off his thanks, smiling softly at her friend. They shrugged, returning a half smile. "Yeah, you could say that. Have a few less regrets than when I walked in here. Maybe one day I'll get rid of them all." They downed the rest of their drink and stood, taking Sam's hand. "Well, it was nice to meet you Raven. Maybe we'll run into each other again." "Maybe. Stay safe out there." "You more." They gave a final wave and headed out, leaving Raven with Ivan and Paloma.
"So, who were they?" Ivan questioned, taking the now empty seat. "Honestly...I have no idea. I never asked for their name. But they gave an interesting perspective for me to think about." "In a good way or a bad way?" "Good way, definitely." "Well that's nice." Raven hummed in agreement, turning to look out the window. "Maybe one day I'll stop having regrets too." "Miss Raven, are you going to finish your drink?" Paloma asked, poking the now cold mug. "Ah crap, my cocoa! Aw, now it's all cold." Raven pouted sadly, making Ivan laugh. "Oh Raven, has held the weight of lives in her hands yet pouts when her hot chocolate gets cold."
"Oh we'll see how funny it is when I pour it over your head mister!" "No, wait, I concede! Ah!"
(I have no idea why I wrote this. I had the thought "What if Darlin and Raven had a conversation about how dating their exes changed their lives" and boom, this was born. Okay this post is long enough, I'm shutting up now.)
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pianocat939 · 2 years
Note
Hello I have request if you want to do it!
Yandere Rise Turtles that kidnapped the reader and the reader ignores them and stays quiet cause the reader pretty much trusted them and they broke their trust by kidnapping them.
Ah yes the "trust is broken" trope. Time to use all 6 of my braincells to write a theory that is totally impossible~
I know I shouldn't be saying this but I can't think of any ideas for rise rn so I would appreciate requests. Whenever I think of any I scrap it because I don't like how it sounds in the end haha.
Tw: trauma, anxiety, manipulation, delusions, arson (it's Mikey ok?), overprotective impulses, mentions of usage of medical drugs, unhealthy dependencies, I keep making Mikey a sociopath help
Yandere Turtles with Kidnapped MC who Doesn't Speak to them
Raph
I think he would have mixed feelings. The rational side of him perfectly understands why you would react this way; however, he also believes that you need to realize the purpose of his actions.
It's because he needs you so much! His brain can't comprehend being away from you for too long. He gets horrible anxiety if he's not able to cling onto you. So please understand! He's trying to get better but his thoughts just stab him mercilessly.
Despite his views, he doesn't try to pry too much. Sure, he might cry a little, and feel like a monster, but he doesn't talk more than needed. He wishes you answer, but if you need to go through such a state then so be it.
He'll still follow you around, as it's the bare minimum he can tolerate.
I, theoretically speaking, feel that anybody can tell he doesn't kidnap because of twisted/problematic views but rather the amount of trauma he's carried for so long. That being said, there is a way for MC to leave without having to escape.
A. Lot. Of. Therapy.
Consoling his problems is honestly the best way to go for Raph. He's willing to cooperate, and needs only help before he's back to normal. It'll take quite a bit of time, but it's better than being stuck in the lair for the rest of your life.
He apologizes a shit ton. Doesn't matter if you trust him or not, he apologizes.
"I'm sorry. I don't care whether you forgive me or not. I just want you to know that I regret everything."
Leo
Out of his brothers he's least likely to even try kidnapping.
The only case I can think of is if you lost trust for him due to his manipulation. Then he impulsively kidnaps you (it is way too fucking easy for him).
Once you go into your unresponsive state he'll pull the guilt tripping card. He believes if he continues to do so, your mind will trick you eventually. It hurts him that you don't want to answer voluntarily but it's nothing a little bit of psychology can't fix.
He acts like everything is fine while he waits. He'll talk to you, hug you, and anything else of that matter. It's not that he's delusional, rather he's trying to find ways to break you down.
There is a chance he'll lose his patience, and it can go two ways: 1. He breaks and tries to justify his actions. 2. He becomes delusional in a similar way Mikey Wazowski is.
I think there's equal chances for either possbilities.
To elaborate further for the two. When he breaks he'll go into a frenzy of sadness + frustration. He'll state that the reason why he even manipulated in the first place was because he felt useless and wanted you to rely on him for a lot of things. He's honest, and doesn't hide behind his mask. He'll interrogate why you don't depend on him. Let him take care of you, even for something as cutting up Warren Stone.
Now we get to talk about his developing of the "Mikey syndrome" we can call it.
His supposed mind games seem to backfire and work on him rather than you. Meaning, he forms a delusion that you still love and trust him after all the kidnapping and manipulation. He acts as if you guys are a normal couple. Which may be good for your case. He won't let you be independent for some things but you are able to leave the lair (with him by your side). No escaping though, he has his sword.
"I love you so much! I'm glad we understand each other so well."
D'Nello
Most likely to kidnap.
I think his reaction will result in a disaster. As I've written before he's an overprotective and controlling type; so it only makes sense that he declares your state of mind as an illness that he needs to take care of.
Try to ignore him all you want but this man can easily haul you into his lab, run through tests, and not acknowledge the obvious problem of the situation. He believes that you are in a fragile position so it'll only influence him more to "heal" you.
His methods of healing are both physical and mental. He'll check your brain's activity, find a pattern, and see if he can develop a drug that alters your mindset. On the mental counterpart, he talks on and on about psychology, and how to reset everything so that you can be "healthy" again.
If he notices you ignoring on purpose whenever he's speaking about your state of health then he'll snap at you until you listen. You don't have to talk, just be aware of the information leaking from him.
There is no chance of being totally released from his grasp. Not only does he have the advanced technology to ensure your chances of escape are nonexistent, but he is also unnegotiable. He's extremely lucid, but finds no wrong in his intentions as it is protecting someone from harm; when really it is him that is the harm.
Once you're stuck with him, you're fucked.
"Your mental state is nothing I can't fix. The brain can easily be assessed and its neurons can be altered with some drugs."
Mikey Mouse Club House
(I will never take his name seriously)
You are definitely going to be in a worse situation if you ignore Mikey. It's not that he's going to get angry or anything, he becomes more delusional.
He deludes himself into believing you're a god, so if you ignore him, it triggers him into thinking he needs to prove his worth before you give him the privilege of acknowledgment. Additionally, he'll find you even more divine.
He'll prove his worth in a multitude of ways; praising you, doing services, creating a literal book named "Ways to not Upset your God Lover <3". His chaos is terrifying, and it might be the best option to give a sentence to him occasionally otherwise he'll commit crimes far worse than you would ever think of.
If you don't, well let's just say...He'll burn people alive and leave a heart for every place he visits.
Here's one thing I want to express about Mikey. He also has a low chance of kidnapping. It may sound odd, but in my terms, I believe he thinks you're greater than him so it is his duty to follow every word you say. The reason I suppose he could kidnap you is that he wants to be closer.
If he does kidnap you, just say something like, "I want to go home" and he'll deliver you like he's a worker of Jeff Bezos. His mind is easy to figure out.
"Oh hi, baby! Don't mind the scorched-up wood here, just leaving a mark for the world to know my love for you~"
There are a few remains of the body left on the ground...
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This was fun. I love analyses so much it's an addiction lmao
- Celina
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beauleifu · 2 years
Note
I'll do a backflip if u write more syntax x reader content
backflip
do it now
i got an idea for this one so i'll answer it first CONSIDERING we're at the tail end of thanksgiving break. Also i am sick too and its easier to write about things that derive from personal experience. HAPPY LATE THANKSGIVING BTW (to those who celebrate ig)
anyways, pretty long 3k oneshot, pretty fluffy, enjoy!
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SYNTAX X READER
Lego Monkie Kid
Context: You wake up with a fever and Syntax feels obliged to take care of you, despite you being a very disagreeable sick baby. Curse him and his affection for you.
TW: Language, mentions of sick
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
He thought you'd gone to work.
Well, he never checked to see if you'd left or not.
To be fair, Syntax never ventures into your sleeping chambers very often, if only to retrieve or return a book that caught his interest. Respect is high on his list of values.
The spider demon has your work schedule practically memorized by now, so he's content with the knowledge that you left at precisely 8:30 a.m. to be at work by 9:00. However, he does find it a little disheartening to find that you'd neglected to leave a note for him. You rarely do this, but it lights a warm fire in his soul whenever you do (don't ask why, Syntax is the worst at figuring out his own emotions).
Currently, he's on the couch reading a psychology textbook you forgot to return back in your college run.
Amusement tugs Syntax's lips upwards.
Yes, he knows the book was rented. Upon taking a quick peek at your e-mail inbox, he discovered a number of warnings to return the damn thing before your account was charged.
But Syntax found no record of your account in the logs.
He reminds himself to ask you about that later, but it's probably due to you graduating and someone deleting your account to save room. The requests died off a few months ago as the store decided to give up, anyways (he ignores the streak of guilt at his snooping. It's for your own good).
Ah-heh. . . .
There's a lot of things he does 'for your own good'. Things you probably wouldn't file into the same category, unfortunately.
Lazily shifting around to look at the clock, Syntax frowns and tries to decide when is the safest time to visit his Queen's old lair. Sure it's destroyed, but he's found plenty of useful equipment to fuel his creations, which are currently scattered on the coffee table.
RING RING RING-
Green eyes flicking wide open at the sudden intrusive blaring, Syntax jumps to his feet and whips around.
There, in the kitchen, is your phone.
Your phone??
It continues to ring incessantly, making Syntax's lip curl with discomfort. Muttering to himself, he marks his page in the textbook and makes his way around the couch to retrieve the phone. Curiosity and apprehension flare up at the name on the screen: 'Jasper (Work)'.
Jasper must be your manager. Syntax faintly remembers you bringing him up on occasion. A complaint at best, threats to quit at worst.
Syntax hesitates slightly before answering the call. Why did you leave your phone here?
"Hello?"
"Who's this?" Is the immediate reply, host to a deep and irritable tone of voice.
Damnit.
Syntax obviously can't introduce himself honestly. Millions of excuses and impromptu pseudonyms flood the spider demon's mind as he tries to come up with the best disguise that you might approve of (Bob? Not in a million years). His eyes slide over the textbook lying face-up on the table, sharp green eyes flitting wildly over the pages.
Eventually, Syntax decides that his conflicted (not panicked, not panicked) silence has stretched out long enough.
"Ah, apologies. This is . . . Maverick?"
Thank the stars for his quick reading skills and your willingness to let him borrow your books.
Your manager sounds surprised. "This is (Y/N)'s phone, yes?"
"Correct."
"Where are they, then?"
Panic turns to suspicion, which promptly dissolves in a pit of worry. The dots connect and Syntax feels like he already knows the answer before the words tumble out of his mouth. "What do you mean? Are they not at work?"
It's almost mid-day. You would be taking your lunch break in an hour.
Jasper sighs tiresomely. "No. I know they have a habit of turning up late on Fridays but this is just unnacceptable. What are you doing with their phone?"
"It's . . . I mean . . ."
Syntax finds himself pacing.
To speak honestly or not to speak honestly, that is the question. Should he reveal that he's living in your apartment? That you left your phone in the kitchen-
No.
Hold the cable.
You'd never forget your phone, it's your only means of transport (oh, yeah, he knows your habit of using the GPS for even the simplest of directions no matter how hard you try to hide it). So the only possible explanation for finding it still in the apartment would be because you hadn't even left in the first place.
"Can I put you on hold for just a moment?" Syntax asks, biting his lip anxiously.
Jasper sounds thoroughly confused. "Uh . . . sure."
"Much obliged."
With that, Syntax puts his speaker on mute and lowers the phone, taking wide and purposeful steps down the hallway. Your door is closed with not a sign of life noticeable through the cracks. But suddenly, the thought of finding you still in bed is more worrisome to Syntax than finding your room vacant. He can find you easily no matter where you are in the city whether you have your phone or not (he might've instilled a tracking device into that favorite piece of jewelry/clothing you always wear when going out. Once again, for your own damn good). The problem arises in discovering you haven't yet gotten out of bed to eat, drink water, or do anything productive.
Okay.
So he's been stalling for a good two minutes at your bedroom door thinking of all the worst ways to discover your body.
Something twists his gut, makes him hesitate to raise his hand for a soft knocking on your door. Unfortunately, the pressure of having your manager on the phone forces Syntax to ignore his thoughts.
"(Y/N)?" He asks, softly at first.
Well damn, there's no way you could've heard that.
He raps his knuckles on the door with a tad more impact, disliking the empty way it reverbs off the hallway. Syntax doesn't like a quiet apartment, he's much more used to (and much prefers) the life in which your fill it with. He'd never admit that aloud, though. "(Y/N), are you in there?"
Silence meets his question. It feels like a stab to the foot. A metaphorical one, but the pain is there and unrelenting.
Syntax finds himself biting his lip.
Your safety must come before his flight instincts. He needs to make sure you're okay.
". . . I'm coming in, all right?"
The doorknob is cold to the touch as Syntax twists and pushes the door gently open - slowly, so you could voice any oppositions. But none reach his ears and he's allowed to open the door all the way. It hits the wall with a soft bump.
Syntax doesn't need to look very closely to determine your likely whereabouts.
The sad lump under the bundle of blankets tells him enough.
Oh dear.
"(Y/N)?" He calls, hand gripping the door frame somewhat tightly. The room is quiet and cold, sending a chill down Syntax's spine as he observes your form.
You suddenly shift - faintly at first, but then the sound of coughing reaches the spider demon's ears.
That sounds really bad.
Rough and moist and rattling and definitely painful. It's even painful to hear.
Syntax blinks, eyes going wide with surprise. Slowly, he raise the phone again, unmutes the speaker, and holds it close to his ear. "Are you still there?"
A pause. Then; "Yeah. What's the problem?"
"(Y/N) is sick."
An even longer pause. One that allows Syntax enough time to shuffle around your bed to try and pick out any part of your body that isn't coddled by the blankets. No such luck, though, and the scientist is mildly put-off by your isolation.
You must've tried to muffle the sounds of your illness by burying yourself within the blankets.
Had your manager not called, Syntax never would've known.
The thought is . . . uncomfortable.
At that moment, Jasper finally decides to speak up. "Whaddya mean, they're sick? They should've called and told me so I can assign someone to take over their shift! Now we're falling behind!"
Irritation worms its way into Syntax stomach where it boils angrily. It doesn't seem like Jasper cares enough about your health. You'd failed to call because you left your phone in the kitchen last night. Based on how sickly you sound, there's no way you'd bother walking all that way just to call off work (come to think of it, you didn't sound too well last night, either. You hardly talked at all).
"Sir, I apologize for the inconvenience. I'll try to have them back at work within the next few days, I-"
Wait.
Shit.
Sure, Syntax may care about your health.
But how the hell is he supposed to fix you up?? He's not the nurse in the house - that's your job!
For a moment he just stares at the blankets, completely short circuiting. It goes on like this for so long that Jasper clears his throat; "You good?"
Syntax's brow furrows, anxiety making him fidget with his sleeve.
Well, he's not the only thorn in the thicket, thank goodness. Taking a deep, determined breath through his nose, the spider demon clears his throat with much pizazz and swallows his dignity. "Yes, I'm all right. But your employee is not. I was . . . wondering. Um. Do you have any reccomended diagnosis for them?"
"(Y/N) coming down with the flu is news to me, how would I know what to give them?" Your manager grunts, then his voice suddenly lifts with the air of one pointing fingers. "Maybe you should take them to see a doctor if you don't know what to do."
Hhhhh. Well, there's no way Syntax can do that. Not even as you erupt into another fit of coughing, the sound tugging at his heartstrings. Simply put, Syntax is torn.
Science is easy. It has codes and tricks and programs that literally work as free serotonin.
People, however.
They are problematic and difficult to understand.
Sick people are no different.
But of course, like the stubborn man he is, Syntax denies the option to seek external assistance. "No, no, I can handle this myself. I'm not a complete healing novice."
"Huh. Okay. . . . Have them call me back when they feel up to it," Jasper adds with a hint of stiff suspicion. Syntax knows exactly why. Having a stranger answer his employee's phone definitely raises red flags. "I want them to personally let me know when they can return to work again."
"Will do. Goodbye."
After hanging up, the spider demon spends another good minute just staring at you.
Or, well, at the blankets.
Should he wake you up? How much sleep do you need?
He runs a stiff hand through his hair, teeth gritted despite himself as he deposits your phone by the bedside table. If his calculations are correct, you haven't gotten up to get a drink of water all morning. Neither have you gotten a bite to eat. Considering it's almost 1 p.m., that gives rise to concern. Plus, the room smells funny. A nasty kind of funny.
This is what has him crouching by your bed, hands clasped above his knees. "(Y/N)?"
Nothing.
Biting his lip, he reaches forward and gently pokes where he think your shoulder is. What he feels, though, is probably your head.
Oh. You must be curled in on yourself.
Warmth and pity fight for dominance in his heart. Once again he prods you with a finger, reaffirming his belief that it's your head he's bothering. After a third attempt, you shift, and he stops.
You cough a few more times, the sound followed by a hoarse, rattling inhale of air. It's expelled slowly thereafter.
"(Y/N), are you awake?"
" . . . Hm?"
Syntax smiles slightly at the familiar sound of your voice, even though currently you sound strangled.
"Ah. There you are," the spider demon hums, resting his hand on the edge of your bed rather than on any part of you. "I'll get you a drink of water, all right?"
Silence. Syntax frowns before standing up to leave.
So you're sick. And from the sound of it, you've got it bad. What is a guy like Syntax supposed to do about that? Wrap you in bandages? Prescribe you some medicine? Take you to the doctor like a sane and smart individual? (Unlikely. He's much too prideful for that)
The one thing he can do safely and without consequence is to fetch you a cup of water, so he does just that.
When he returns, you're sitting hunched on the bed.
You're rubbing your eyes when he comes 'round with the cup in hand, and you don't even look up as he stands over you. Syntax has to clear his throat to get your attention.
"Here you go."
Gingerly, you take the cup. Syntax notices the subtle shake of your hands, which only makes his brow furrow.
He's almost about to ask you about it when suddenly, you're pointing somewhere behind him. Confusion stirs his depths, and he glances over his shoulder. "You want me to look away?"
"Tylenol," you murmur, voice raspy and quiet. "Bathroom."
Ah.
"I'll be right back," says Syntax, watching you carefully for a second before departing. There's something off about the look in your eyes. The lack of focus, maybe. Perhaps it's because you just woke up. Perhaps it's because you're really ill-
He quickly takes his leave, entering the bathroom and flicking the light on. A quick glance around and all of its secrets are coming undone. From the look of it, you've gone in here to blow your nose multiple times (the trashcan is overflowing with tissue paper); you've thrown up in the toilet (it smells god-awful in here - that's why it smelled funny); and you've attempted to treat the pain yourself (bottles of pills lie popped open by the sink). All Syntax can do is hope that your nursing instincts kicked in at the last moment and you steered clear of an overdosage.
After flushing the toilet, he peers into the other room, eyes on you. "When did you take these last?" Syntax asks, shaking the Tylenol bottle. It says every 8 hours. He just wants to make sure.
You suck on your bottom lip, dull eyes on the bedsheets.
You hold up eight fingers.
Relief washes over the spider demon, and he divvies out two pills. "All right."
With that, he heads over, pulling up a chair to sit by the bed. When he hands you the pills, you nod silently, popping them in your mouth and taking the water with it. Silence fills the room. Normally Syntax would find it uncomfortable, but right now he's trying to figure out what to make you for lunch.
Suddenly, you look away, face buried in your arm as you let out a few coughs. Then you look back, eyes slightly bloodshot from congestion and lack of air. "Thngks."
"You're supposed to be at work, you know," Syntax reminds you gently. Stars, you sound terrible.
You shift at that, sniffing wetly. "Wha . . ."
Coughs wrack your body, sending you into a fit of trembling that only panic could ensue.
Oh, you're worried about missing your shift and angering your manager? He can't have that.
"Don't worry about it," Syntax reassures, tempted to rub your knee to soothe you. "He called me ten minutes ago and I told him I'd take care of you. Just . . . call him back later and let him know when you feel better."
You nod slowly, temporarily mollified from your excitement. But then your eyes slide to the bedside table and a hand reaches out to retrieve your phone.
Syntax is faster. "Ah ah ah, I said later," he says sternly.
Your bottom lip juts out in a pout. The spider demon suddenly quite likes this docile version of you.
Maybe sick people are different.
"Time," you grunt, glaring halfheartedly at Syntax from over the glass of water. It seems as though you really are parched, which relieves the spider demon.
So he's doing something right. Good.
"One . . . ah, one twenty," Syntax answers, one leg bouncing on the ground.
You groan hoarsely. "My boss is gonna- cough! - kill me."
"Doubtful. However, you're not quite safe from my wrath," Syntax says, regarding you carefully through narrowed eyes. Like you were a rare specimen that had a bad case of annoying people. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling all right?"
"Dunno."
"Not one for words? Cat got your tongue?"
You glare again, leaning away from the spider demon who returns your look equally. "Throat hurt."
Syntax scoffs. "That's no excuse."
"I-" Whatever explanation (excuse, in Syntax's opinion) you had in mind to say is halted by you suddenly freezing up, finger suspended mid-air. Nose-wrinkled, posture stiff, you wait for the inevitable. But no sneeze comes, and Syntax can't help a smirk at how silly you look. Recovering quickly, you expel a bout of air and sniff; "I thought it was temporary."
Hmm. Your voice does sound strained. Perhaps it would be wise not to encourage you to talk.
"Fair enough," the scientist sighs, and you glance at him in surprise. But he merely locks eyes with you boredly. "Would you like something to eat?"
"Uh-"
"Just nod or shake your head."
You sit and ponder at the blankets for a good minute.
In the end, you reward the spider demon with a grudging nod. "Just- lemme get dressed."
Inclined to stand up as you throw the blankets off, Syntax pries his eyes from your features to inspect your outfit. Comfortable clothes might make it easier for you.
"You look fine."
"I look. Unprofessional," you sniff.
He waits for you to stand. But when all you do is stare at your crossed legs in mild surprise, Syntax comes to an obvious conclusion.
You're sick.
Walking should not be one of your chores.
"I . . . I can carry you," says Syntax all of the sudden, as though the idea were a brilliant discovery that should've been obvious. Flowers blossom within his chest at the thoughts summoned to mind. But his eyes are bright, fixing on your face with a determined spark.
You recoil, face scrunching up. For a moment Syntax fears the idea disgusts you but the scrunched face was only in preparation for a loud sneeze.
Your face promptly vanishes within the blankets.
He waits for you to resurface.
Heh.
In a moment, you do, thoroughly dazed but adamant about refusing Syntax's offer. "No."
The scientist is starting to smile. "I'll carry you. Why not?"
"Gotta get dressed. 'M heavy. You're nerd boy," you say, along with a raspy stream of similar retorts that eat away at Syntax's pride. Nerd boy?
All right.
Time to put his metaphorical foot down. Which hurts, since it's already been metaphorically stabbed.
"Enough. We've got no time for your shenanigans, not this time. I know you'll eat anything I cook for you and I also know you're severely unwilling to give up those clothes," says Syntax firmly, gesturing to your pajamas. You clutch them protectively, but the look in your eyes suggests a more insulted mindset. Syntax allows himself a soft, warm smile and extends his hand. The one with your phone in it.
"Let me take care of you."
Your eyes are pretty, yes, but also milky with the flu as they slide down to consider his offer.
He waits.
You suck on your lower lip with indecision, and his eyes flick down before darting back up. Then, after you let out a small sigh, two arms are extended, one taking the phone. "Fine."
"You are tired," Syntax murmurs. You merely dip your head down.
He wastes not another moment. Bending over, Syntax slips one arm under your legs and the other under your arms. You're suddenly lifted into the air, and the weightless feel of it has you clutching the front of Syntax's shirt, eyes going wide. Upon hearing your sharp intake of breath, Syntax glances down at you with a concerned frown.
"Ah . . . you're not going to be sick, are you?"
Lips pressed tightly together, you shake your head. Without a word, you let your head thump lightly against the spider demon's collarbone, but your fingers stay curled around the fistful of shirt you've collected.
Syntax allows himself to feel relieved. Vomit is not a suitable addition to his attire.
Besides, it stinks.
He adjusts his hold on you before heading out, thinking of the many possibilities for lunch. Casserole? Perhaps something easier on your stomach.
Toast.
Oh stars, toast was literally Syntax's go-to for everything before he met you.
That, and granola bars. And junk food.
He sets you on the couch carefully, head swiveling around in search of the TV remote. But when you jerk uncomfortable, a hand shooting under your leg, Syntax looks down to find you whipping the remote out from underneath you.
You're squinting at him, as though you think he'd done that on purpose. Syntax merely holds his hands up in surrender.
"I didn't."
Shrugging in response, you turn the TV on.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. You seem content to keep quiet. "I'll make you some toast, yes?"
Another shrug.
"Is there something wrong?"
His eyes snap south to find you holding up a finger. Your face is scrunched up yet again, and Syntax can do absolutely nothing to stop the smile that spawns on his features as your head is thrown forwards in another sneeze.
He chuckles, materializing a hankie. Well, not really. His pocket.
"Here. That was a big one, wasn't it?"
You give him the evil eye, snatching the handkerchief. "'M not talking to you."
"You just did."
"Starting now, asshole."
"Stars, (Y/N), you're sick. Can't you spare the effort to add insults?" Syntax asks exasperatedly, taking the hankie back after you blow. Ergh . . . he'll have to wash that.
You merely glare at him and jut a thumb to the kitchen. "Toast."
Eyes narrowing, Syntax meets your gaze. Perhaps he should just blame the flu and not subject you to anything.
"F i n e."
And to think he felt bad for you.
No, no, this is going to be a nightmare. Maybe.
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phantoms-lair · 1 year
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23 if you're still accepting numbers? ^^
MSA + Assassination Classroom There was another ghost.
And boy howdy was Arthur tempted to ignore it and do nothing. The first ghost they'd run into had turned their well dissevered vacation into turning a mountain into a haunt and possibly adopting Vivi's distant cousin. Given his druthers he'd avoid this one if not for one thing.
It was following a kid around. Constantly.
That kind of attention from a ghost was devotion. If it was to protect the person, that was great. If it was vengeful though...Arthur couldn't take the chance.
Surrepticiously walking past the student in question, Arthur grabbed the blond ghost and kept going, dragging him away.
"Hey wait, you can see me? You can touch me?" The ghost seemed more flabberghasted than enraged, which boded well.
"Yes." Arthur answered once they were away from other people. "now want to tell me why you're following that kid around?" "I just...I want to help him. It's my fault. But I can't do anything and no one else can even see me." Ah, guilt. That was a motivator Arthur knew far too well. "What's your fault. Maybe I can help you fix it?" "I ruined his life." the ghost bemoaned. "All because I couldn't take it anymore. If I'd just stuck it out instead of jumping..."
"Were you close to him?" Arthur asked softly.
Surprisingly the ghost shook his head. "We'd never met, but his father was my teacher in middle school. When he found out I'd jumped because of bullying he took it...he took it bad. Real bad."
"Bad enough to abused his own son?" Arthur's voice turned harsh.
"Physically I don't think so. Mentally and emotionally though-" the ghost shuddered. "Asano-sensei believed it was his fault I jumped, because he taught me to be a good student instead of being strong enough to survive. Strength -physical, academic, psychological - was all that mattered. No loosing allowed. All of this, E-Class. the discrimination, the fact that Gakushu-kun only knows how to react to people via manipulation, it's all my fault." The ghost sobbed.
"No!" Arthur said firmly. "Jumping...Killing yourself wasn't the answer, but you are not responsible for a grown man's inability to cope with grief. If you didn't set him off, something else would have. " Fuck it, in for a penny, in for a pound. "Me and my friends, we're going to stop this. We'll save the students and the teacher's kid. Promise."
"You can't." The ghost sobbed. "Nobody can win against Asano-sensei. Nobody!"
"Well, call me Odysseus, Kid, because he is going to lose big time. I know things he doesn't and faced terrors beyond human reckoning. If those haven't broken me, nothing will."
"You can see me." The ghost said again, but this time it was as though he was realizing something. That if this person before him could touch ghosts, what else could he do.
"My name is Ikeda Rikuto," the ghost bowed. "I put myself in your care."
"Kingsmen Arthur," Arthur bowed back. "And you might want to think about what you'd say to your old teacher if given the chance, because that chance may very soon be coming up."
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firstdivisiongirl · 2 months
Note
Hello can I have a one piece matchup, please? :3
Personality:
I am pretty social however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but Im working on it! I love to help others and make them smile, but I do wish I would get something for being so nice in return, yeah it might sounds greedy but I want to be appreciated! And get something nice haha, like just a compliement or something, when my helping and kindess gets unnoticed I might get upset because of how much tired I am and I just want to be a appreciated like I said before 😭 I wanted to be noticed and not ignored! I care too much what others feel and think and its tiring, I just want to be selfish sometimes and care about myself even if its sounds mean.
People call me funny! Well it all depends because everyone has different sense of humor! But I am most of the time unserious and I love to joke around, serious situations are stressful so I prefer to be joyfull, but I do like talking about serious topics (sometimes) Like I said before I love to make people smile and laugh with my jokes and overall with make them happy with presence. Its my job to make others happy <3
My humor is definitely not for everyone, its mostly humor of a 12 y/o kid which can be annoying to some people lmao (sometimes its funny how people are annoyed by it) and some other things depends on how I feel. When it comes to annoyence I also like to annoy people <3 its so fun! But I never want to make them really feel bad! Often I act like an asshole but this is just for jokes! (but sometimes I wanna be a real asshole lmao) Like I said I dont want them to actually feel bad, if I do, I will feel very guilty! When it comes to it I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitve and worry about everything. Ah and I'm pretty dumb and I am not trying to insult myself I am just silly hehe and I'm okay with that. Oh and Im clumsy 😭😭
Likes/Dislikes:
I LOVE LOVE horror and scary things, I can't imagine my life without it, its just a such interesting genre that makes me happy and intrigued! I adore horror games and I'm mostly interested in them, however most of the time I am scared of playing them so I just watch gameplays and stuff like that haha. You can say I am obssesed with horror! (its funny because its easy to scare me haha)
I love to eat food <3 especially sweet things
I also love cute things! Plushies, pink, clothes and other cute things! I just love it so much <3
I like games very much (I suck at them), art, anime, drawing and psychology! When it comes to music I love energetic ones!
I dislike slow music but there can be some exceptions.
I dislike cooking (I love when someone knows to cook however I suck at it
Appearance:
Around 156 cm height
Chubby
brown eyes
chin length hair with bangs
round glasses
Have a nice day/night!
Hi there! Thank you for the request. I’m going to keep this intro short. Let’s get into it!
You Got…
Shanks!
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He may seem oblivious, but the people he really cares about he pays so much attention to. So he would pay attention and appreciate all you do.
You have Lucky Roux make you the best food, especially sweet things.
He would love your humor. He would enjoy it and never take offense to anything.
I think he would enjoy a good horror movie. Movie dates are yes.
Play lots of games with you. He’d probably let you win because he’s a sweetheart.
He would buy you a plushie on every island. I hope you enjoy!!
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cosmic-kinglet · 1 year
Text
Ah yes, a typical family reunion. Nothing but hostility and threats.
I figured Eclipse would come to gloat about getting the Star. I guess it was somewhat satisfying to hear him admit that he's disappointed that he couldn't be quite as spirited in his gloating since Moon didn't remember anything. I do wonder why he (at least claims to) no longer want to reset the world, and instead just wants to torment Sun (not so much Moon anymore since, again, he doesn't remember anything.) Though, I'm not entirely sure what more he could do to torture Sun when he's already lost Moon, he's being 'haunted' by hallucinations of Bloodmoon, and he's just learned he won't be able to see Lunar again and ease the guilt over them leaving the Pizzaplex. A more intensified form of the psychological torment Eclipse had been dealing to him when they were in the same body is about all I can imagine would make Sun's state of being much worse. It wouldn't be too difficult, considering all the things he knows that Sun feels guilty about. Death is something that Sun deeply fears, but Eclipse is definitely not going to kill him, at least anytime soon. Simply wiping Sun's memory in place of death also wouldn't be nearly 'fun' enough for Eclipse.
I'd seen a lot of people saying that Moon would likely have his memories restored via the Star at some point, but we now know that that's impossible. According to the computer, the Star can only erase memories, or aspects of memories, it can't restore memories. It makes sense, at least in this dimension, since Moon made it as a last resort fail safe that would essentially completely reset every animatronic.
This video was yet another tonal rollercoaster for me. Everytime I'd start feeling tense, Moon would do or say something to make me laugh. Though, it is interesting to me that, despite not remembering anything about Eclipse, he had a "vague recollection" of the fact that Eclipse "suck"s. I enjoy the implication that Moon's hatred toward Eclipse went beyond memories and just became this intense feeling within him that is still there despite the memories being gone.
I am both scared and intrigued to know what Eclipse's exact plans are now. Also, I was throwing punches at the air after the last few moments of the video because of the anger I was feeling.
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Hello! I'm back for another review on the recent chapters I have read on your dark! Aemond Fanfiction (this might be a bit long so I do apologize for the long read 😵‍💫)
So far I am loving where this is going, the dark themes, the psychological in depth dive into both love interests is making me sit at the edge of my seat!
Chapter 3: "Just like her heart, the clouds had descended over King’s Landing, covering the sky with a thick blanket of grey."
That starting sentence alone was such a good hook and vivid. Just a few words and a whole picture was already painted for the reader, already set the tone for how this would pan out. Amazing, gave me chills the first time I read it.
"A heavy weight swayed in her chest like a pendulum, striking back and forth against her ribs as if her heart were so weighed down with despair, that it ticked out of rhythm."
Again another amazing description, you have such a way with words that just know how to make the heart ache and the mind comprehend and sympathize with that pain you are describing. The sorta personification of what the MC is feeling deep inside just further deepens just how heavily this whole situation is weighing on her both mentally and physically.
Overall, the situation with her siblings and the neighbor is still a heavy drive for her to keep pushing and doing better. However, it's the part that mentions how she wishes to be a child once more that stuck to me. The Mc is so selfless that she hardly ever expresses or thinks to herself much of what SHE wants and yet when we finally do see a glimpse of what she desires it is so innocent and wholesome it only hurts more when the reality of her situation sinks in.
I also have to say I am enjoying how this seems to be interlaced with the main Canon story of Hotd, it only adds fuel to the fire on aemond's motive to do what he is doing to her. And it's all not just sadistic evil from his end, especially on the next chapter on how this is emphasized on his part later on!
Chapter 4:  "She remembered scrubbing Aemond's bedsheets for an hour straight after that night, using the hard bristled brush to rid the white fabric of her blood, which in reaction to the air had blackened." "  It was a stain difficult to remove. But she felt it more so in her heart than anywhere else."
This alone was so good I felt that stain in my own heart. You truly feel for, especially with how she is trying to find some normalcy in her life by doing what she always does in her day to day chores but even that doesn't wash away the guilt and self loathing she is slowly being consumed by the longer these transactions go by.
It just makes me want to be able to reach through the screen and hug her tightly, it's so hard to swallow her pain and I think you showed that beautiful so far through your story.
We also finally see how much further aemond has gone to his cruelty from her point of view. How he resulted to a more sadistic approach the longer the situation has gone and how he seems to enjoy that he can do anything to her because she ultimately has become his own little stress ball to find relief from. It further villainizes him in the eyes of the MC but it all quickly got scrambled when he started to be gentle and THAT was when we got a peak from behind the curtain for proper moment.
The truth behind his actions, and it all can be summed to one sentence , "Nothing is scarier than a humiliated man" (yes, I stole that from AHS) and I can't explain the satisfaction it brings to be able to see this unfold the more I read.
We see aemond struggle with wanting to be tender, in a sense, the type of love he always craves want to come out and give but so much has been taken from him that he feels like he is owed and so he takes and takes and who else would he take from if not from someone so much weaker than him in not just physical appearance but even in life. We see time and time again how hard and draining the MC's life is because eof her statues in life and gender alone and how aemond's struggles are internal the majority of the time.
Her struggles are easier to sympathize with when compared to his therefore its easier for him to target her since she basically is already a victim in the game called life.
 "The dragon inside there had started to breathe its fire into her, burning her from the inside out."
This line has me screaming into the abyss, I am off to read what happens next and I'll be sure to give my full review on this as well, amazing work! 👏🏻
eeeee this ask made me all giddy, so glad you're enjoying the series so far! <3
However, it's the part that mentions how she wishes to be a child once more that stuck to me. The Mc is so selfless that she hardly ever expresses or thinks to herself much of what SHE wants and yet when we finally do see a glimpse of what she desires it is so innocent and wholesome it only hurts more when the reality of her situation sinks in.
Yeah I just like to make myself sad ksksksk 💀 I think a lot of us can relate to wanting to be a child again!
You truly feel for, especially with how she is trying to find some normalcy in her life by doing what she always does in her day to day chores but even that doesn't wash away the guilt and self loathing she is slowly being consumed by the longer these transactions go by.
can i just say I LOVE how you describe these as transactions? cos that's just so kdvdsofbkjlaOdbak ACCURATE
I'd die for her, body and soul
Nothing is scarier than a humiliated man
Aemond that u ? 👀
i love your deep dives on this <3 thank you so much for sending this in 🥰🥰🥰 you're so sweeeet xxxx
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m1d-45 · 1 year
Note
midas we are holding hands /p holy fucking SHIT. so first of all wendigoon is a great source he is incredibly thorough you have it ENTIRELY right. and also yes in the mandela catalogue (SPOILERS FOR ANYONE UNINITIATED) it is confirmed that the alternates replaced not only christianity, but god himself, so do with that what you will!
there so SOOOOOO many routes you can take with this and i am so so normal about all of them i prommy.
like, the alternate not being an inherently malicious entity, just trying to get rid of you in order to continue its own existence? OHHHH BOY. THEY DID NOT LIE THERE TRULY IS NOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.
the absolute guilt reader could feel if they realized that they were the one who brought alternates into teyvat - or even worse, it’s used against them by the alternate!imposter. “they loved you, and all you have brought them is pain and terror. if you hadn’t interfered, they would not be suffering this plague. this is your fault.” alternates using psychological torture my beloved <3
and also just the horror of people praying to a god that is just as helpless as them… me when i lose my FUCKING mind.
AND THEN CREATOR BEING CAST OUT BY THE ALTERNATE… i mean, if fate got a video game company to make a little game based on your creation, who says it couldn’t give a guy on the internet the idea of a world plagued by doppelgängers? maybe the alternates haven’t been able to gain as much power yet, being seen more as a folk tale if they’re acknowledged at all, but with both the creator and several archons missing, there’s a lot of power vacuums that something could just… slide into :)
there’s also the hurt/comfort version where reader leaves the mandela catalogue verse into an alternate-less teyvat and gets to finally chill the fuck out but i enjoy pain - teddy anon, who is now thinking of what other fucked up universes we can mix in here (hiimmarymary anyone? or perhaps gemini home entertainment, or monument mythos? the possibilities are endless)
RED ALERT WE HAVE TEDDY ANON APPROVAL LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO
i, too, am entirely normal about the mandela catalogue. let’s be normal together.
i knew the first bit abt alternates replacing christianity and honestly.. just switch some names and you have what i was going for with my initial(?) post abt it.
OH in vol. 4 a ‘shepherd’ is mentioned, somebody who acts against the alternates, so like… that could be reader.
and yes yes yes the alternate literally needing faith to survive is so good and so tasty and it’s you against it to fight for the belief of teyvat- you to heal, to restore your status as a god, and it to live, to exist at all, because it was born of faith and breathes religion.
alternates using psychological terror my beloved as well, the concept of the final standoff between alternate!reader and reader centering around “you were where it all started, you brought this upon this place, the earth you swore you loved now tilled by the enemies hands, using a blade of your own making” is SO good honestly
i know i touched on it with the traveller but against reader??? who has personal investment in everything??? aka a million times more ammo??? incredible show stopping never seen before-
“the horror of people praying to a god that is just as helpless as them” hey teddy do you want my account that line is worth like my soul oh my GOD
me when i lose my mind too. people praying to the thing they’re trying to destroy is great, but people praying for guidance that can’t come?? people asking a god with no power for strength, people praying to the one in chains for freedom from evil i- your MIND my guy
and YES the idea of the alternate(s) being almost forced into existence because of the power vacuum left YES YOU GET IT YOU GET IT
also MOMUMENT MYTHOS? TEDDY FORGET HOLDING MY HAND I AM TAKING YOU TO A LOVELY DINNER /p
aisndkndfn AH IN MONDSTATS STORY QUEST VENTI IS HEALED BY THE TREE IN WINDRISE BC ITS TIED TO ANEMO, SO WHAT IF INSTEAD OF HEALING THESE PLACES OF ELEMENTAL ENERGY ARE TAINTING, CORRUPTING- REPLACING?
hiimmarymary is good and great and i love it and love you but that’s more a tale of a personal struggle rather than a worldwide problem so i’m gonna very gently set it aside
gemini home entertainment i don’t know a lot about, sadly, so i can’t say much about it.
back to monument mythos though: 1) your mind is fucking MASSIVE 2) it’s been a while since i’ve brushed up on the lore BUT: lincoln lookers, right?
shrines to the creator, right?
… :)
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Benefits for KC adopting TF Lunar: More tools to use against Moon that are his own fault. Free tickle toy.
Ah yes the natural benefits
1) can use against him to guilt and manipulate moon so he can psychologically destroy him
2) completely foreign to tickles, can be turned into a hysterical puddle of hiccups in seconds.
He keeps him in the lab, solely because it’s safest down there for him, and comes in to enjoy exploring all the ways to get his little tickle toy to cackle
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soumarhea · 2 years
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Idea 5: Vanessa visits the graves of her victims and sees ghosts
An idea that I've seen exceedingly few fics try and cover is Vanessa encountering the ghosts of the people whom she (as Vanny) murdered after the 3-star ending.
I am unsure as to how one would make this situation happen. Maybe it could be a dream.
A scenario that I like most has to do with the idea that Vanessa visits the graves of the children she (no vanny) killed. After she was freed, she reported the location of the bodies so that they could recieve a proper burial. Vanessa knows that it isn't enough, she doesn't think that she will ever be able to do enough to atone for what she did to all of those children (it wasn't you, it was Vanny.) At the very least she tries to go and visit their graves once a week, making sure to bring flowers for them everytime. Vanessa doesn't say anything during the visits, what is there to say? "I'm sorry?" Yeah right, as if SHE is deserving of forgiveness...
I really like it because there are a lot of things you could potentially cover, including:
How would the ghosts react to seeing the freed Vanessa? Would the children be enraged? If so, what would they do?
Or would they be able to see that the person in front of them is not really the same as the one who murdered them, not mentally, at least? Maybe (relating back to idea 2) the children who were taught by her would be able to convince the other children of this.
How about the therapists? They would likely be more willing to listen, being adults trained in understanding psychological conditions.
One could discuss how Vanessa has been dealing with having 2 sets of childhood memories, a fake abusive one (put there by Glitchtrap for reasons of trying to make her more obedient, which ended up failing) and her true, standard, evidently normal one. (in this universe patient 46 and their tapes didn't exist, save for that one line about lying about childhood, just pretend it was in one of Vanessa's tapes)
And, of course, we can't forget Vanessa. What would she do? It is most likely that she would curl up into a ball and await the punishment that she thinks she deserves (she doesn’t). After all, it is HER fault, right? (No, it’s Vanny's.)
If you include Gregory in this encounter, he, being the "no fear" gremlin that he is, would probably try and start to defend his… uh… paternal guardian of unspecified rank in some way, either by trying to explain that Vanny is no more, or try and actually fight the ghosts.
As you can see, there are many ways that I think someone can make a mini story out of this concept.
Ah yes. Good ol' guilt. Don't we like 'em.
If the ghosts did become vengeful and starts to haunt Vanessa, following her around, my guess she'll just go, "Yea I deserved that."
*cue the story arc of appeasing the ghosts so they could be put to rest, while Gregory have extra gremlin brethren in the background.
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foxymoxynoona · 2 years
Note
so i reread amended again and while i hate colleen she is a very interesting character in a psychological standpoint. i feel like her deep hatred towards jungkook stems from the fact that she saw how he failed her daughter. and I KNOW she can't have the audacity to feel anything about that cos she neglected her daughter too and cared very little about her, but i feel like, when they were young she prob thought that jungkook would take care of bella yk? like she prob thought at some SOME point, "ah, there's finally a good person around my child" but then she watched all that crumbling down the moment jungkook started taking advantage of her daughters kindness towards him. like seeing that from a mother's pov must have hurt a lot, seeing how our daughter had put this trust into someone only for that someone to shit and step on it without any reason. she's still horrible lol but i think that's exactly the reason why she hates him & of course it's given that shes racist too and just an objectively Awful Person in general but yeah i understand her hurt about bella forgiving anyone but her, even though her offenses are way more offensive than Jungkook's.
Writing Colleen was both really enjoyable and heartbreaking. She had so many terrible things go wrong and I can absolutely understand how it turned into bitterness and hatred and an inability to see beyond the ways she hurt those she cared about. I think there's fear and guilt wrapped up in a lot of her behavior too. I also think in her mind, a lot of what she did maybe was trying to do what was best for her and Isabella only for Isabella to reject those things and instead turn to Jungkook and the Jeon family. And yeah it was probably further proof to her that she was right all men are trash when she had to watch this "wonderful" boy treat Isabella like garbage, except instead of it bringing her and Isabella closer together, it turned ISabella away --though Colleen did like Landon. ANyway, yes, Messy, heartbreaking, tragic.
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only-lonely-lovers · 6 months
Text
07.13.2022
tags: noncon, piv, dirty talking
notes: rereading this, i feel as though it's uniquely gormless, and has out-of-date headcanons as we were so early into imbibing JSHK... well, nevertheless. happy reading.
Bird is あ / Avvy is つ / sometimes, I color text to delineate dialogue a little more
あ:my PP concept is also noncon.. but like oh you know, trying to gaslight her throughout it… the most deranged and like cowardly way to do it all. trying to clip her and get her to call you amane during it also bc you has problems
つ:SAY THE CORRECT NAME!!!
あ:it feels like itd be sooo. [wearing clown make up] to be trying to wrestle nene into saying this… idk it feels like it could get so pathetic… like.. [shakes]… say it.. つ:i like the flavor of impatient hanako… and getting to live int he psyche of guy who wants you and is NOT HANAKO FORGET THE OTHER GUY
あ:this guy actually has a shot [defensive of made up narrative] he's been your classmate for a while you two have good chemistry you. YOU LIKE HIM!! he likes you. it'sss… this was being built up to. you want this
つ:and on another psychological level…. wanting to be called amane during sex, in general is something
あ:uhuh. a real [looks at camera] moment for . the tsukasa watching this ig
つ:its so interesting how PP works. the guy who has been actively hiding everything from you suddenly wants an earnest roleplay right before he disappears ill write the authors notes andits IC as tsukasa like WHOA i didun tink this would happen!!!! AMANEEEEE
あ:i guess i really offered you something you wanted….
つ:wow i made him so happy!
あ:a way for you to let nene meet "amane" !!! hehehe…. well… isn't she lucky….
つ:its taking all of his fibers of resistance to not run into the room the omake version which just has tsukasa barelling in
あ:yes. fkdgjfh… he is yelling amane it's like [HONK]
つ:that IIIIIIIII noise he makes BREATHING SO HEAVILY INTO YOUR EAR IMMEDIATELY
there simply the insane sex world version where tsukasa fluidly joins in. its so hard to not imagine hanako just like SHOVING HIM LIKE A TODDLER NYO!!!! TSUKASA!!!!
あ:NOT RIGHT NOW NOT WHEN I'M GETTING IT OUT [holding nene by the throat] i figure though it has this umm.. hm.. it definitely has this vibe of someone trying to start a romantic cutscene but just getting impatient and not letting you leave…
つ:i do think it starts out so ah… scripted, feeling so incredibly…. stilted…. has ''phases'', and even though nene doesn't technically jump the hoops, he moves onto the next one anyway…
あ:he's mentally got flashcards. is waiting for the one that lets him put hand on knee
you could imagine it is as simple though as hearing nene mention needing to check in with kou or something for him to be like [unchill] NO.
つ:just a minute. please. just a few minutes. stay. let me. say. what i . need to
あ:[uncontrollably guilt tripping] youve been blowing me off all day…
つ:[soft indiscernible click in the near distance] [tsukasa is locking the door for them]
あ:your guy… mmm a good detail though
つ:i will not ruin the inciting action from your game.
あ:its just one of those "there's no bad options!" things for tsukasa bc nene could like flip out and attempt to kill amane. whatever happens baby…
hm but crazy sex world where he joins is fun it's like mm a taste of butter…. wingmans this. but then also is like hiiiiiiiii ~ enjoying my playhouse for you…. huggles you
つ:i do want to to live in the less realistic porno world where amane simply is like ok. keeps going. so this is how it will be. if thats how god wants it
あ:i am already playing into this fake world selfishly. i can't act like. it would be that much better if i shoved him off.
つ:lets you hug her. nene is liek KDFL;SJFKL;GSG?? but Amane's like shhh…. shhhh. its okay…… just tsukasa nuzzling her head, hair, so pleasant….
あ:i do love the thought of nene having to be like. not only experiencing being cornered and pressured and stuff but the brother is here too. manifesting. what the- what does that…
ouhmm its like i wish the changing room scene went different lol… and devolves into this… so its a nene who was already trying to have theories about tsukasa like "he… want.. revenge…??" but instead he's like smelling your neck. help!
just here to support… happy to be here… ^^ ready to help get everything in place
つ:there are different flavors to different points of the timeline…. if its before any suggestion of 'how to get out of here' its so… disorienting in a DIFFERENT way thats like. amane is a complete loon trying to do this right out the gate. but later has the flavor of becoming like. nnno my time, running, out knowing tsukasa is 'real' or not is an element
あ:i go back and forth, initially i was thinking about this like, fuck the movie tickets… i am insane
but i do like the state of things at the point of when she's changing before star gazing… it being like right before stargazing. its rly a different loss of willpower
a very early run i'd almost want to be so early she hasnt even recon'd with kou or seen the world have kooky aspects… is juust in the "??????????" stage of trying to determine what is happening. like she's just been pouring salt on amane and feels bad about that
the gaslighting has more of a chance to take proper purchase in that case. like she IS just doubting herself and feels like the only one insisting on her previous reality
つ:unsure if this is some kind of dream really, that early on…. later is, scary, ominous
tsukasa is going to stroke Amane's face and say…. it's a good world, isn't it…. its really nice…. you like it, right…. just pleased, confirming… a slammin it hanako can only nod and huff thru nose
あ:it's nice like this…. we can be together❤️ admittedly this has to be a tsukasa that just feels like he really won, i mean his trap is just a success, amane is partaking of the fruit perhaps liberated enough to tease like. did you miss me… i'm glad we can spend some time together
つ:i'm do good with wishie
あ:you look amazing… wow [watching him hit it]
つ:[openly breathing heavy, not ashamed] Nene-chan…. you like it too, don't you..? it feels good… [spreading her pussy for Amane to hit deeper with less drag, which makes Hanako, twitch on instinct like DDDDONT GET NEAR MY. DONT YOU]
あ:snarling…. but tsukasa delights to observe like ohhmm… there's my special guy
つ:[whispering to nene] he makes that face when he really likes something
あ:[grabs her chin and tilts her head] everyone make sure we are looking and pay close attention okay ^q^
つ:you can never forget a first time [activate… amane] nn. never forget it. [HURTING]
あ:ohmm for amane to have really shot himself in the foot by forcing nene to call him amane-kun during this… if she is whimpering it.. doesn't that feel like it'd make tsukasa a little bit like [LOOKS.][fervid] we are matchies!!! asfdghfdg!!!!!! oh its like.. tsukasa likes to hear his name so much… it might feel magical to get to hear someone else beg it… ohgh you love his trapdoor mouth honestly
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つ:I do like Nene ah... becoming subservient, after only a few good swings. i think she's gone
in this circumstance, its just like ss ? sssex x? uhhghmn… [hanako urging her…. to say amane-kun] ohu I, shoul, d do wh, what he saysz [dizzy] c, cant be rude…. Amm… Amn, Amanneee-kun…..
あ:[blearily] that..s. s… right htats … thats his 'real name'…. [brain tabbing through visions of him as a battered boy, 13…]
つ:[which look, aesthetically, more like this boy…] [in these clothes, his skinny arms sticking out, looking younger than ever..]
あ:[boy she saw on the floor crying…] fuzzily in her brain
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its like ahrg… amane… kuun… ok ahy.g..fhg this is like. your ex shows up and youve taught your new meat to call you your old pet name. and your ex gets to just watch this [tsukasa joins in saying name like the girls in midsommar] [panting] How long do you want her like this, Amane… You know there's nothing stopping you, it's whatever you'd like the world can be for you…
つ:hanako feeling like I. deserve to be mentally broken. its fine. okay. before i go.
あ:if that's. how this is going to. pan out.
つ:ne, ne….. nene-chan…. this world is whatever the 'main characters' of it want. Doesn't it feel good… to be what Amane wants? He can do anything… and he wanted to do something, with you! something new….. that he's never done before.
N. NEVER BEFORE ?! v. virgin??????
あ:owned outed oh but its moments like these i really feel like [amane. UNCONTROLLABLY picks up pace fuckign jackhammers for a sec]
つ:ffffuc k like a grown boy
あ:its llike fffjhghhfj. goes into his blood
つ:I WILL IMPRESS
あ:[a braincell that is just like slobbering] thats RIGHT i havent fucekd before i wannaf fffffffffuck hard WATCH ME FUCK
つ:during onslaught it is legitimately tsukasa keeping her from, toppling, she has to grasp something and instinctively grasps his arms
あ:it helps to have a whole body to assist in cradling weight
つ:AMANE AMANEEE!!! [stoked by tsukasa's shouting] amaaanee-kuunnnn [stokedby nene's chanting] A-ma-neeee, aaa [stoked by Tsukasa] Amane-kunnnn
あ:the derangedness forced. to come.
つ:why doesit sound like i am fucking them both
あ:oh you get to watch his eyes really roll back into his head… I THINK IT JUST MAKES HIM DIZZY
つ:WORSHIP MEEE
あ:like mgh. fhgf.f fghf. s-sex fuck..f ujghf..gfh.. FUCK!! yes i fuck good god yes
つ:i think the ego…. the narcissism present in amane, deep down being cheered/praised sssso much repeatedly is. mmmnn yessss i doooo it
あ:god yeah. i think tsukasa's egging on is just sooo effective tsukasa might as well be breathing a poison cloud that is going right into him
つ:i do it sssso good call my naaaame
あ:the words are so palpably good at stoking him
the way tsukasa is here to be like: you fuck her sooo good you look sooo hot whiel you do it she is so ooo lucky to be fucked by you
つ:and nene whining/cooing them in such a girlish register, hiccuping them,ssss ounds better than ever imagined,and he's imagined it a lot
lucky-lucky girl nene-chaaaan don't you feel lucky….. !
あ:her going along with it all.. it just. he will just feel like the paydirt was so worth it. she can only resist so much!! of course she cant do more than a little fussing.. bbbbECAUSE SHE wants this she wants me she is agreeing… she is nodding, she is asserting she feels lucky
i wish it could be like.. amane buries his face against nene as he finishes, and gets snuzzled and pet by tsukasa all the while… like as he is shuddering intensely… we rub faces while i unload into my girl
つ:i'll just live in the narrative where this is simply my classmate brother mmmmmmn the satisfaction of nene being so agreeable… she will pull him into a kiss after. emboldened-- but thinking like-- h -HE BETTER KISS ME [KISSES HIM]
あ:it's… it's fine, in the context of the narrative… omgg boy not ready for kiss despite everything i think
つ:just begin making out ssssso hard. he will not let go once he's latched. tsukasa is just chin against her shoulder so close to the action pleasant
woooow… a first kiss too……
あ:beautiful stuff you two..
its like amane forgot kissing was a thing thsi deep into it and youre gonna rot his brain fucking.. KISS ME AFTER???
つ:he whiiiines. and flinches after like ffcukg nn-no why… mnhmh… whyd i whine bbuthjbkiss mmeeeeee mmm
[cock hurts. but is attempting to harden again]
あ:and one must learn that undignified noises shall happen during kiss
the hips itch and shift and shuffle.. your cock soo badly wants to be hard again its really like ouch... [tsukasa alternating giving you two headpats during kissm]
つ:hugs nene a nice squeeze for a second. mm i jsut love to be here. Nene is…. universes are exploding inside of her brain for nene. i simply think she wants to fuck again
あ:I Am Here In The Porno, I Am Suspended Between Two Boys
つ:its easier, for girls. just want it. pussy burns. brain is gone. tugging at amane, wrapping legs around him suddenly
あ:moe for amane to be the one feeling disoriented at this point… umm a little weaker after nutting wwww… but god desire in the heart… dizzied to have reciprocation, in reality… being invited and pressed for more at all is like hough. OHHHHH she really. she, really. want [sways against…]
つ:nene…. ah she hits a point always, i feel, where she's gone.. mad. finally achieving sex. wanting it. thinking in only poisoned thoughts…. grinding towards him… but, unable to make eye contact. I like to think at this point, amane can't either, finally a bit shy, mostly over it. it needs to take a second
cant look your girl in the eye while shuffling feet around. feels like hot stove. impatient to be ready to slam more
but your helpful tsukasa is here….! observing the problem… amane shuffling around like a nervous horse
あ:i think there's a limited reserve of bravado. you used up so much focus and determination to get this far. he looks tense.. swallowing..
つ:I think its like hmmmmm…. mmm… grabs his face. makes you and nene stare again keep saying his name, nene-chan…. if you want him to go again he likes that best. tell him how much you liked it! he wants to hear that.
an obedient nene…. happy to have, direction…? too … addled, to be arguing. too addled to be bothered…. by the intrusiveness. it IS convenient to have solution…..
あ:you liked what he did, after all, right….? nene-chan is a good girl, she should show her gratitude. [pet pet]
つ:small quiet… followed by… I… I liked … it… I l. loved, it. I want. More I… want [tsukasa interrupting] amane…. [nene nodding] amane-kun…. amane-kun to, d. do it, more….
あ:mmm yes… you get to watch the statement go into him like you threw a precision dart at a target… to feeeel the cock twitches. the hurried scuffing.
つ:[tsukasa.. gently holding amane's jaw] [tilting his head] I also want you to do it more.
nene has to… feel… ah…. he…. was right. he knew…. he knew how to make him…. is it possible to know someone so well… [delirious from cock] am I lucky… tsukasa-kun is here…too…
あ:she can feel the effects... it just ripples throughout him... undeniably..little lightbulb going off in head but it is full of c*m
Amane: [mouth worrying, licking lips, swallowing…] [troubled seeming] Tsukasa: [noting he's struggling with words] -- and , you want to too, don't you, Amane..! You do, don't you? You felt so good. Amane: [hoarsely] h…hhhhai. [nod nod…] [throws head like agitated horse] and nene watching this all like ouh… wow… tsukasa-kun is like an… expert… sasuga futago otouto… [kind of clueless, awed tone] You really did… like it a lot, Am.. Amane-kun… you… wanted this, with me..? [cumbrain. and, thinking about 'the narrative'] ff… for a while…
つ:tsukasa like wtf this is so cuuuute❤️ KAWAIIIIII
あ:so smart she is learning!!yesss talk to him tell him what you have observed...
つ:yessss team up with me nene-chaaaaan
あ:RULE WITH ME
つ:so cute amane like. repeatedly. huffing. he is like a troubled horse but then its like [tsukasa against nene's ear] you should tell him his cock looks nice
TSUKASA-KUN THATS TOO DIRECT!!!!!!!! MURI
あ:such a screeaaaa amoment [tsukasa rubbing your shoulders] [like your boxing coach]
つ:but trying to behave. am. ammn. ama. amane-k, kun
あ:[he looks at you like a sad dog for a sec awaiting the bacon]
つ:your c . your cc. co. [being rubbed] cock -- COCK [UNNECESSARILY LOUD] [fucks up] FEELS-- looks--!
[inelegant] ggggooddddd
あ:fus roh dah'd its just like MY WAHT [COUGHs blood]
つ:he did not know nene could say such a word
あ:[BLINKs out of sync] it... wh... ..? you- you were [fucking sounds like a bully uncontrollably] looked.? you've beenlooking [slurring]
つ:[tsukasa observing amane be shitty excitedly]
あ:like mgh?f hgf. what hte fuck…. sl-slut.s lut whore what hte fuck… looking at my.. this might actually make him so sick [voice becomes lower] [suddenly less clipped] what.. do you want to look at it…? actually thinking about how shitty it would be to like . pause. for this. like actually we are going to call attention to this tis my choice but you have tsukasa to be the crazy guy who is liek YAS
つ:FUCKING SHOW USSSS for this moment he is not thinking of tsukasa tsukasa has vanished tsukasa is just sitting there like 😮observing these transpiring events but in amane's mind its nene undera spotlight
nfnnf no what d did i get inttto [but wobbles from heat] but t. i ? see it ?
あ:like oh. i"llllllllllllll show you my cock if thats what yuore into. [pitying fsr]
つ:[pure brain unfiltered in her head] i do want to see it
あ:gets on my throne about it for a sec. UNABLE TO CHECK SELF
つ:puuulll a littlee awayyyy….. ah nene…. swallowing. nodding. h. hai. politely. clasps hands together at chest…..
あ:shimmy shimmy… incidentally it is good, umm, atmosphere, for this all, steadily hardening again… taking a detour to grasp self… Urhg. unfortunately i do think he has THOUGHT before about presentation, his hands are not. demure. while tsukasa isnt being paid attention to, i think he is active enough still like making sure nene is looqing. hand on her head. staring attentively as well
つ:i enjoy the big show. we all love the big show
あ:i am the big show oh sorry amane is soo shitty but he's quantifiably soo shitty.. it's really going to be like… [staring at nene while running hand along it, pumps..] [wincing, but focused.] So. You like it. Like the look of it. [guy who is going to make you repeat yourself]
つ:[like afucking military officer is talking to her] HAI
あ:it's really like [shifts hips..] [fingers looped in👌hand, dipping in and out of it] i make you think. about it
つ:well i think putting on a show makes tsukasa completely speechless jaw dropped. the synergy of tsukasa and nene here is profound actually
あ:gets laser focused eyes haven't seen him like this… Amane letting loose has never been… relishing in it, this much. ouhh.
つ:both. breathing through mouths. tracking so closely with eyes. zeroed in thinking h… he's…. can he be so confident….. Amane-kun…. I didn't know… h. he…. could…. be so, bold…. direct thank you blessed tsukasa-kun for creating this circumstance
あ:🙏we need you . we need you so badly
つ:amane watching nene flinch when his cock twitches… its like mmm. tsukasa doesn't flinch. still. impeccably so. as though an animal camouflaging. focused
あ:Good to know she really is thinking about it. this is a good way to get geared up… to fuck her again… like ooh. this makes me want to fuck your brains out
つ:its charming to me for tsukasa to fade into the background briefly, its like the… familiarity of him kinda briefly renders him nonexistent, as nene is being dealt with. he is cool to hang out.
あ:he is not intrusive to it all he is permitted to watch amane ostentatiously pull back foreskin
つ:stops breathing, visibly. makes amane laugh… which makes her jump. heavy breathy lil laugh from him for amane it must be so chaaarming….. mmm she's not only weak to a pretty face, now is she. lol
あ:It's that interesting huh. [humming]
つ:[amane, flatly] so… is this your real weakness. should I have lead with this.
あ:This would've kept your attention hm.. [tilts it back and forth... being. crude.]Gets results. You probably can't even remember any other guy's name or face right now Right? haha.
つ:blinks. oh cant see. but wants to see. visibly trying to, recover from feeling dazed. blinking a lot
tsukasa uncontrollably also feeling like he is being talked to, but that is irrelevant. just going into his skull
its like humorous honestly its like . yeah i do not remember anythignn rn
あ:fjdghf… sweetie. cute though. like it goes into your real stomach
[strokes..] [breathing falters a bit, but swallows] Well… maybe now you won't run off any chance you get with whoever You'll just think about this instead. won't you. Maybe if I just tell you to , you will.
つ:nods…. if…. .. will you…. really do this…. f. from now on…..? with… with. me
あ:[breathes] Oh. Yeah [brain melting] allthe time You. won't be able to. get away from … me. [h-hm. that wasnt the plan.]
つ:o, okay [stupid]
あ:[shifting to get between legs mindlessly, regardless] we are both stupid like mghhhhhhhhhhh i want in im READY
つ:everyone's stupid amane whipped his cock out and rubbed it and everyone got brain damage
あ:tsukasa's hand should like rush to spread pussy for
つ:that would be cute. like KLFJSD;KLF WAKES UP WAIT I HAD A PLAN!!! I WAMS GONAN. HELP
あ:master is returning i must get the door
but i think generously its like this is just allowed. WE'RE all dealing wtih poison status efx we have NO THOUGHTS i think tsukasa should just be allowed to feel it sink in… framing
つ:tsukasa did a good job aligning the shot for amane to take it. like a retical on a sniper juuuust slightlyyy feel the skin drag along the edge of his fingers…. pull down as he sinks in
あ:a treat for the good good brother… i do not think amane can be taken off his cloud after such a lead up its like mgh yes. oh commence fuck yes [grateful for 1 sec] its good to sink so fluidly into pussy, get so deep. NEED
i grant tsukasa also getting to feel him really pull back and then slam.. grind against… not bothering to wait for fingers to move… the urgency spurs everything forward. but its like i think everyone's hindbrain loves the energy of all of us coming together like this
つ:mmmm force crushing into hand… nnngghice. coooool… amane is cool nene is gone though
あ:we have lost her. that is okay. was assassinated… our dearly beloved
つ:a good…. deserved…. hard plow. unmitigated clutching with all limbs… stupid slut brain just thinking about the shape endlessly and the sensation combined with it aware now, of, twitches. more aware. knows what those look like. feels them harder.
somewhere, shijima: this sucks i hate it i fucking hate drawing
あ:doing all that she can to not just slash the canvas hate knowing tsukasa and no. 7 are fucking tfw mitsuba and kou are fucking out taking photos are some shit that's what she signed up for. not. this.
つ:the afterglow of this situation…. is humorous to think about i fklsdjfklsf tsukasa's just goingto be smelling his hand in the backgruond and amane is like not going to notice/think about it or like why that is its like oh tsukasa is doing w/e
あ:same as he ever was...
つ:the duality of it smells like pussy and cock. much to huff
あ:its a very special day for tsukasa. WOW! i guess i didnt see absolutely everything in the timeline sometimes even i do not know what will happen
hanako having to like. ruminate on. like.💭 ………………… do i just…………………………. quietly peace out still once i gaurantee nene can stay here………… ………………. no. 2 will just have a fake amane to slot in so. [thinks. about. if nene iwll. fuck. that clone. ] no. 💭……………….. she'll forget about her other life eventually. but this is. a part of the. narrative. here.
つ:can I get shijima to kill me off [jealous over paper cut out of self]
あ:she'd probably enjoy that right have me hit by a truck or whatever … me and tsukasa. i wont let. paper cut out tsukasa comfort her.
つ:tsukasa in the BG licking his hand, but covertly like a child sneaking a cookie. as if he could get scolded nene is comatose…. floating coin slot
あ:hanako just kinda middle distance staring thinking about this stuff. but thats okay
つ:everyone is contemplating
あ:is also just like. but by god if i aint going to fuck her again later whatever itll sort itself out
つ:💭wait, this hanako-- amane-kun ? has a pulse and. is warm. can he get me pregnant ?
あ:was i irresponsible because i forgot about htis-!? ………..wait…………… did amane-kun choose to………. ………………………… [if i am engaging with amane-kun like he is really alive boy.] so he made the decision to……………………… do it in me… multiple times
つ:[nene in space]
あ:having to be like. does he want me to . he has to at least not care. if it happens. [thinks] i guess my parents would just take care of me no matter hwat
つ:or is he… such a … dirty creep its not his problem… [this makes her horny]
あ:[none of the thoughts have the right amount of severity] he's just going to be like… "figure it out…" and keep unloading into me 😭….🤤
つ:tsukasa💭i wonder if nene-chan would let me smell her hmm or rather if amane would let me smel nene chan
あ:the real questions tsukasa.
____________________
つ:> tsukasa uncontrollably also feeling like he is being talked to, but that is irrelevant. just going into his skull
I keep thinking about this
its just so f. funny to be dirty talking nene like mm you dont think about other guys. and tsukasa is like i do not [seriously, mentally] i do not amane would just be like [tired face] y. oh i know you. dont. sigh. i. no thats
あ:sooo funny like we're doing mental affirmations with tsukasa as well
つ:that wasnt for you like [facepalm] you're unintentionally doing mental affirmations with tsukasa. is the problem. nene and tsukasa are both like mmngh only you
あ:cumbrain tsukasa is very endearing like aumghmm im loyal too
つ:i do not need affirmations. from tsukasa. says amane im not trying to affirm that one sigh
あ:if you even imagined it. like intrusively. itd be like [frowns]. like sees mental image of me being like: you only think about me dont you and tsukasa like VIBRATING barking yes. doesnt it almost feel liek dirty talking a toddler
つ:like glkgl;gjdfklg
あ:the idea of being liek: you like ice cream, to a kid whose face and hadns are all sticky
つ:I'M SIMPLY LOVING THSEE TAKES ITS SO FUNNYYYY
ITS TOO FUNNY TO IMAGINE DOING THIS TO TSUKASA ITS SO FUNNY YOU CAN DO IT TO NENE ALL DAY and like he WILL do it to nene all day. like thats right girl you only think about and look at me. you can't even care about anything else anymore. how you should be. and tsukasa is absorbing it into his own brain 3rd party without amane's consent or intent.
あ:its. so funny. but also like , i do love the thought of it uncontrollably happening regardless like you can't remove tsukasa from the scene of the crime
つ:he is present.
あ:sigh its precious though isnt it… like shifting and fidgeting in seat as well… fox that is about to pee didnt ever conceptualize amane commenting on your feelings i dont think tsukasa could fathom like not, responding, mentally, i think the internal stream of thought must simply become yes master………………
つ:mochiron tsukasa does believe himself and nene are the same in their feelings, and amane affirming this dynamic with HER only affirms the 'we are exactly the same, we feel the same things for Amane, we want the same things with Amane'
hearing the relationship become THIS just naturally confirms his own dynamic… of course it's like that, because we are the same. like to hear it, as much as Nene does, we're all eager to hear such things
あ:our roles are the same…
but i love the thought of this happening like multiple times as amane gets like idk addicted to the sheer ease, the butter. of the situation. and keeps dirty talking nene possessively... and you only start brushing up with how this has been effecting tsukasa like later. you have a moment where both nene and tsukasa nod to something in a zombie like manner and youre like ? [shakes head] [but moves on]
つ:its sssoo funny how many times it could be that Amane is simply in such a tunnelvision horny state while devolving into his dirty talk, that he has blinders on, isn't seeing tsukasa, but as well, tsukasa doesn't express much obviously, he's trapdoor open mouth and big eyes, so you dont always know what he is ✅seen. But it is ssso funny to finally one day observe tsukasa synchronized nodding with nene lidding eyes at you, SO parallell to her, that its. -feel like you hallucinated-
あ:right like we're so deep into this madness and then its like hugh. j?? but.. still not being jarred enough to stop its just like a hitch. like what? but. okay
つ:tsukasa ..? oh m.moving on. whatever
you can believe he's just a sort of ape imitating motions if you think about this later and feel like dying. i like to think in the moment Amane would like, get over it, continue, but later in his stall unfortunately uncontrollably remember synchronized nod and feel dread
[of montreal voice] LETS RELAAAAATE
あ:Someone who feels their demise encroaching on the horizon Omens… and portents
つ:the time and place of your own death
あ:Uhuh. really just alternating between being like "no it definitely wasnt anything" and then "that. wasnt nothing." and then "okay but it-- even if he was. [scalding, hate to say it] horny-- it would -- i mean its probably just from THE SEX HAPPENING right. like the vibes in the room." pause. "… that doesnt sound… like, good. dude."
[to self] are we really going to… like, not address this. if tsukasa is getting horny about things you're saying meant for yashiro. [defensively] but i already have to deal with tsukasa being in the room while i do things to yashiro right. isnt that already so weird. what am i even going to say.
tsukasa is already getting horny about things meant for yashiro what does it matter. and what am i gonna say. wear this burlap sack. [being an asshole internally] we're already trying to ignore him being there.
つ:but the next time you are dirty talking her you are going to think far too hard about the duality of what you are saying. when you re-read a post but in someone else's tone of voice and perspective… and can understand how they specifically will twist these worsd
あ:starting to talk about your eyes drift and see tsukasa's gaze and its like [slows.] [now you two are just making eye contact]
つ:stops. talking. which yashiro notices is like a… ahh..? are you…. okay…. ? noticing something.. but I think Hanako would just snap immediately after
grab her by the throat, shove her down, DETERMINED TO SAY CRAZIER SHIT
あ:oh get all. the animal within about it.
つ:YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT ANYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!! EVER AGAIN!!! YOU CAN'T SSSTAND ANYTHING ELSE!!! IT'S NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. NOTHING IS WORTH YOUR TIME!!!! BUT ME!!!
あ:it's like his own hiccupping and faltering makes him so frustrated, the only response can be [snarls] … cant let anything get in the way of ASSERTING MY POSITION. yashiro should know WHAT SHE IS TO ME. oh….. you know because hanako is the way he is i do think it could really get so sick. like. I WON'T STOP UNTIL EVERY DREAM YOU HAVE IS ABOUT ME EVERY NIGHTMARE, EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT IN YOUR LITTLE HEAD!!
YOUR LIFE WAS OVER THE DAY YOU MET ME!
つ:ah ssso scary for nene, but immediately violently effective, girls… girls want to hear thissssss.
going into tsukasa it's [eyes back in skull] myn the day I met you [was born] being younger sibling meaning never existing without the other.
あ:oh its a lot for tsukasa to hear that specifically isnt it
つ:in trying to target things at yashiro and blast through this obstruction, just say it, going to only say worse things, by nature
あ:there's no way to actually avoid effecting tsukasa. they are indeed, the same.
つ:there is NO avoiding it, you CANT make it more pointed, exact, you cannot.... you can't. saying all of that panting and watching both of them arching is flk;fgklfkl;jKL;GJSKL;GJSKLG NGNHGHKM!!!!!
あ:[getting crazier] YOU NEVER HAD A CHOICE YOUR LIFE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE MINE!!!
つ:ah… the two of them…. its so synchronus its scary. scary to observe. shuddering as words hit skulls
あ:very scary... like its possessing them equally
つ:its like ohhhh hFKH EVeryones FUCKIGN EHRE FOR ME AREN'T THEY!!!! FINE
あ:ohh so thats how it is… FFFFFFFFFINE [frothing] you just love to hear it dont you [frustrated by the circumstances] wish i would speak to you like this all the time. would make your life so easy, right
つ:nod nod. nene has tears in her eyes... tugging at his arms, hands
あ:feeling sooo reduced… oh nene is such a humble girl i think she really quickly can be taken into a state of "IF YOU WOULD HAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [cries] if you could want that
つ:it makes her cry, to simply have what she wants..... to, be, owned. hard to believe, every time....it's so extreme, he has to mean it.... she's a grateful girl, when its happening. blubbering little mess....
Amane in his broken mental state, beseeching them both with.... Why don't you tell me something, for once... I'm always talking... say something. But...! It would only be Nene replying, Tsukasa DOES understand these sorts of instructions aren't for him, he just sits and listens to Nene with Amane, eager for her to be his mouthpiece, speak for them both, as she does. he sees her as a mere extention.... she's so sincere, too
あ:he has a lot of sincere faith in nene to be able to express, she is hand selected by amane and deemed worthy of this, she is good girl and does as she is told, she can answer the call
つ:whining that, I, I like not thinking of anything else.... if you really want my attention, alway, s, if, if it really-- doesn't annoy you, Hanako-kun, I-I can't, imagine, if, you wouldn't be tired, you're never tired...? Of me....?
あ:Oh i feel like it's the sort of sentence that makes Hanako become so !? [wheeze] of course. of- of course! [that feeling he gets, like: ITS SO OBVIOUS, IT'S SELF EVIDENT] ...... i could never get tired of it... [mouth tense. the road bumps!! swallows, drags hand on face] ... it's not even a competition. no one is anything.
[devolving into like.. muttering] i could do this all day… [hufff….] if i could keep you here. you wouldn't even go home, anymore. [squeezes throat]
つ:for tsukasa, at times observing nene is like observing a younger version of himself... scared to be called dummy, scared to bore, annoy, upset amane... strokes and pets her as she talks, nuzzles nene.
あ:it is like that isn't it… like the insecure self who cannot believe the interest is really present. while tsukasa has, in a sense 'matured' and gotten to the point of trusting amane's feelings so entirely that the fact that amane wants something is the proof itself
つ:amane will not waste time with unnecessary things… tsukasa watched him have no friends. he knows he is choosing nene, for a reason. but seeing her be sensitive, is sweet… seeing amane reassure her, is sweet.
あ:its pleasing to see them communicate directly like this. what tsukasa loves to seeee... getting right to it, say the words that matter most
つ:feels like amane IS healing
あ:i do think it is one of hanako's most feeble emotions that he wishes yashiro did not have to go home at the end of the day. it would be a big admittance… for her to get to know. bc she has to understand he's like a sad dog about it
つ:its cute he will occilate between dom voice and like…. nuzzling nene. so cute… having a really sweet moment of her crying. nuzz nuzz, from both boys. I love the idea of Yashiro sneaking out at night and coming to school, even if she just. sleeps. somwhere in the school. giving hanako privilege of watching her sleep
あ:break you into the nurses office or something. it would be sweet he surely wants to look at you all night and pet your head you know
つ:for all this though its funny if after a short beat he sort of…. looks…. over at Tsukasa. kind of half-lidded side-eye. Sortof grimmacing internally… like m…. observing him nuzzling and squeezing Nene, knowing that Tsukasa was also. Feeling those words, but did legitimately censor himself from replying… but its funny to be unable to control his nature towards Tsukasa. Throwing the dog a bone but, difficultly….. "and you. Do you have anything to say. Tsukasa."
Tsukasa is like !!!!!! :U ….. !!! ?!? [braindead to be called attention to] nene is like ? … [slightly confused why Amane is talking to Tsukasa? is like when… since when? hm? Tsukasa…?]
when justin is in that. mode where he's so like. When justin is like AND I lik- e, sex, weird ,sex. when H'es liek. aND i'VE got a, rap personality, to i-i his, name-- uh, its. shitty tim. [is there an offchance he STINKS?] HAHA y-- n, no I… not like, no not, shitty like….
あ:rhgfghjf yeah like fumbling to contribute as well
つ:[voice crackling in throat] YEAH I! [braindead] …AMANE…!
あ:…………………. …………………………………………………….. ………… tsukasa. [looks.] [like. go on.]
つ:!!! pants, ah!!! [excited kid on a stage]
あ:breathing into the microphone
つ:Nh! Nene-chan!!! The same!! Me, too!! Ne, ne, Nene-chan? [pivoting towards her cluelessly] its not the same as being like nervous its just being like lfjsdlfk;sj so mindless like ahouhh thank you for the opportunity!!! knocks over microphone
あ:oh you are going to activate hanako's dummy demon brain. youre not that smart huh. [slow blink] [FEELING like a benevolent god, as i reach over and grab your face with one hand]
つ:!!!
あ:[sigh] What is the same.
つ:hiccups A wiggles. now nene is also staring at tsukasa like… hm…. can he really get tongue tied? what is this scene…..
YouRs! Yours! Ua-Hhheheeheehe, we, 're here, for, AMANE!
あ:nene's end of this
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the way hanako just has to feel like. [leers] Yeah that's right. [shakes head side to side while holding it in hand. the way people who are used to foxes just garb their mouths] [condescending tone]
つ:tsukasa just like HEHEHEHEHEHFEKGJRK!!!! HEEHEEEHEEheehee skitters ffeet under hakama . breathes
both nene and hanako looking so lidded . synchronus too
あ:💭 this is so easy it should be a crime. [hanako processing that dirty talking tsukasa feels like. shooting fish in a barrel]
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つ:belong…. to Amane… fffor, Amane. [quieter, but still trapdoor smiling] born…. for Amane… to be with, Amane….
あ:
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つ:makes Nene pause
あ:[jenny voice] heyyyy waita sec
つ:funny to think of it working authentically on hanako for 1 second being like…..[nene observes hanako ceasing] when hanako is like. the shape of. . fing ers, [begins not paying attention]
あ:[turns]
つ:I think Hanako is shitty enough, charmingly, to start like picking his nose
あ:as if this doesn't really concern him
つ:its like.... at best, pets tsukasa's head, but condescendingly
あ:that's the best i can do for you
つ:mmhmmm…… sigh you did as i asked
あ:pets you but doesnt look knocks tsukasa's hat off rudely in my gesture
つ:pant pant pant pant [perfectly satisfied]
💭 hmm… somehow this doesn't seem fair 💭… I dont know if Tsukasa-kun and I are really the same…. he's….. [squints, looking for kind words] . sure gracious, isn't he…. 💭suddenly, I feel pretty spoiled….
あ:thinking, i dont know if i could handle it if Hanako-kun wouldn't even look at me e-er. errrr…..
つ:eeehhhh…. really… hard to imagine…. what tsukasa-kun deals with…. how Hanako-kun appears from his position….
あ: nene thinking harder, in ways hanako and tsukasa just cannot: if i was just holding some other girl while hanako fingered her or something. omg wait! that sucks 😭hold on!
つ:WAIT THAT WOULD RUIN ME I justs had to listen to wahtever Hanako-kun said to her and trust it applied to me too😭 WE'RE NOT ALIKE AT ALL, TSUKASA-KUN
あ:🐟💭i guess i'm insecure even when i'm in the 'center' of this-!!!!!
つ:it's so overwhelming, but, there are worse things than being overwhelmed, aren't there…. ah, somehow, tsukasa-kun… he seems so overwhelmed by the little he gets, doesn't he…. that's amazing, but…. is it really good…? he was so happy, being spoken to, just now…. though, he's kind of always happy, isn't he…. should I be concerned? Is this overthinking…. but, well….
[huff] its Hanako-kun who I'm concerned about here….! why can't he….. do more…..Tsukasa-kun's graciousnesss…. it kind of feels like it's letting Hanako-kun get away with something…. just because someone allows such a lax treatment… does that make it alright? h-hmm… this is complicated.
あ:nene capable of being like ah hold on matte matte… …… i mean… i guess hanako-kun could.. technically treat ME in lots of ways and i'd… [this is scalping but.] ………………………………. 6_6
つ:s... so long as.... I was still... there.....
あ:i would just. be happy to be his girl i guess [bald]
つ:m-maybe that's, s, satisfying in and of itself, u-uhm… ettoo…… mmm.. l-like, my own. ah. loyalty, p.. proven m-maybe that's why Tsukasa-kun is so self-satisfied…. hmm, I suddenly feel like the most immature one here, ….. -- EXCEPT, HANAKO-KUN is just following his whims….! mmm
あ:…. but still, why doesn't hanako-kun want to be any nicer, is he really okay with treating his younger twin brother this way…. [indignant] hey, arent i older!
つ:… Tsukasa-kun said… he was born for Amane… that is how he feels, isn't it…. it's…. almost literal-feeling, in his case, isn't it….
あ:I suppose I can't imagine what it would be like to always be with Hanako-kun, since I was born.... [gets emo on tsukasa's behalf]
つ:see i want a threeway where hanako starts talking to nene as he does, and she just fucking grabs tsukasa's face and puts his face in hanako's face, and hanako is like RECORD SCRATCH
あ:it is her job to be like hey!!!
つ:[Hanako tries to look away. nene insanely grabs his jaw too] she didn't have a plan. this isn't actually well executed just got. indignant
あ:if we're just grabbing each other's faces out here if thats how we do things
つ:[trying to be fucking. firm-footed. we do things like this out here, don't we!! I'M OLDER] WHY DO WE ALWAYS LISTENT O ONLY HANAKO-KUN
あ:lol flksdghdf it feels like itd be such a [staring at each other] tsukasa [spiritually] hi handsem
つ:wiggles fingers hello vibes smiles so pleasantly! fancy seeing you heeere
nene trying to be a bold, dominant force: WHY DON'T YOU SAY HOW YOU FEEL, H, HANAKO-KUN! ALWAYS TELLING US, W,WHAT TO, DO, MMMAKING US TALK TO YOU… WH, WHAT ABOUT TSUKASA-KUN… C. CAN YOU TALK TO HIM FOR ONCE
[hands shaking holding them in place above her]
あ:wtf you dont kiss me i kiss you [pouts] hanako, disoriented, like -- where am i . werent we all like. Me: I own you You: You own us
つ:Tsukasa is just like [trapdoor mouth] heke? but I also think given a beat Tsukasa would be like… Nene-chan doesn't have to do this….❤️ you don't have to talk, Amane!
YES HE DOES
[enjoying this immensely] oh
あ:heiki heiki🤤 daijoubu im fiibne.
つ:sssooo like mnn hehe ouhhh this is so cuuute endearing awe nene-chan mmmblblbl enjoying staring at amane though like mm yes hehe
あ:a moment of pleasure for me
i think hanako is just like !? [frozen. bc the sheer like. what.] [internally, flatly] what you want me to what [frowns] [but like its so 'what' that he cant actually freak tf out about it really its like ?] especially when tsukasa is just like looking at him dopily i think its like
つ:………………….. we're too familiar for this, Yashiro. You don't get it [shittily]
あ:yeah. like . uhhh. lol…. n-no? Why would I tell Tsukasa my feelings.
つ:b. because…..
あ:He doesn't need to hear my feelings. Isn't that right. Tsukasa.
つ: I already know how Amane feels.
[wilting a little] BUT ISN'T IT NICE TO. TO HEAR IT!? YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT, DON'T YOU?!
あ:"Hey……."
つ:Y, YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT!! IT FEELS GOOD TO HEAR IT!!! WHAT ARE WE DOING BUT MAKING. EACH OTHER. FEEL GOOD!!!!
あ:💭 you want me to make my little brother "feel good" ? kimochi warui
つ:I GET TO HEAR IT!!! A-AND YOU, JUST, S, sit there, I, I get that it's different, but….. b, but, T, Tsukasa-kun is. He's, he's patient, a-and,
wag wag awe Nene-chan….. wtf defending meeeee 💔 aweee
あ:Amane becoming like the. Looks at you expressionlessly like you are a particle. but i think he's not really offended by this still, it's just like. raises brow.
つ:I-I know he's content with just being present, I know it's different, but.. [trying so hard to articulate her own thesis. should have thought this through]
あ:tilts head. looks at her with some genuine pity, like, man she's upset about something isn't she. lifts head out of her hold but slowly, not ripping away or anything. reaches down, pets her head
So… you feel bad for Tsukasa because he's… well-behaved or something
つ:tsukasa, scalping Amane: It's difficult for Amane, so he doesn't need to do it Nene-chan is so kind…..
あ:[chuffs] Hey. Quit it This isn't about me
つ:YOU LISTEN TO HIM TALKING TO ME…. you respond, too… to it….I feel it. receiving things so indirectly always…… a. aren't I…. …. spoiled….?
あ:You are spoiled. [not helping]
つ:slaps him a little
あ:deserved. allows it necessary
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つ:[MOVING ON] Tsukasa-kun…. can it really be like this forever, and be okay…. we… aren't exactly the same, actually….
I couldn't do what you do, at all…! If I was…. with, p, people, but I was always…. on the sides…. if I was just holding onto someone else…. someone else getting all the, love poured into them….
あ:[watching her go on like sheesh… when you say it like that] [starting to feel a lil bad. hackles raise.]
つ:[nnnnnot my bullshit being laid out]
あ:but you put hanako in such a position of... what, are you going to defend that you're very loving to tsukasa
つ:or do you si t there and wait for TSUKASA to do so hell both ways
あ:i dont like where this is going [trying to intercept tsukasa responding] Well, what am I supposed to do, to make you feel better Yashiro? You just want me to tell him, [falters.] that, it's good that he's here or whatever [6:53 PM] [trying to think on his feet] it's… I mean, the fact that I'm even letting him stay in the room. Is all the proof.
つ:tsukasa nodding feeling. feeble.
あ:… [doesnt like the vibes…] [looking at nene who is like, wet eyed at this point surely. troubled looking.] [feeling like Ohhhhh what do you want to hear…] rubs face.
つ:so feeling, stupid and belittled and yet still somewhat righteous, but unable to understand how to articulate any of it
あ:tsukasa must feel like oh poor nene she really is sad for me wwww
つ:petting her, shushing her, rubbing her lovingly with Amane….. [softly] …. I'm like Nene-chan, in the future Nene-chan… is like me, before!
Amane, [readying the scalping device] was… Amane. Hehe. I would lose something of his…. or break it… and he would say [PERFECT IMPRESSION] TSUKASA, YOU IDIOT …. [smiling] he's like that
he would groan [PERFECT IMPRESSION] UUGHHghh, Tsukasa! hehe. It's like that for Nene-chan, now ….. but. That's not how Amane really feels. Of course, of course! Of course, you know, how he really feels! It's easier to groan, hehe
but… we're having fun here, Tsukasa….. even if you know it's true….. objectively…. it would feel good to have….. more…..wouldn't it….?
[plainly] If Amane wanted to give me more, I would like that. Is Nene-chan going to make him?
n-. n-no ,
[disappointed] awe. okay!
w-wait.
あ:while they talk
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つ:hanako transforming into a corn cob
あ:like sttttoppppp….. stop it [reactively] its not THAT hard, i dont need to be FORCED tsukasa is talking about me being. A LITTLE KID im not like that now [getting sooo.. like.. omgg stop the drags… stooop… IM NOT SIX ANYMOOORE THIS ISNT LIKE BREAKING MY TOY TRAIN] [FUCK!!!] but i think this would make tsukasa feel so ahaha. no you are still amane like nene goes chigau. that is you now.
つ:its not so different.
あ:tsukasa agrees. un un. oh its amane.
つ:he does call me dummy, sometimes
un un
あ:[feeling like he is being forcefully shrunked] wwHAAAT WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? "THANKS FOR HOLDING YASHIRO WHILE I FUCK HER" ?F/GJFD "THANKS FOR BEING SO WELL-BEHAVED AND LOYAL THAT YOU PROP HER UPF OR ME"
つ:[talking to tsukasa, somewhat ignoring hanako] he's always saying things are self-evident and stuff…..
un, un he doesn't like to say it directly. action, action! Amane is about action! to your bodyyy [wiggling fingers] hehehe
あ:tsukasa, kindly: moe deshou. kawaii
つ:moe makes nene giggle
あ:kawaii desuyo ne… nene: souu…
つ:… un…… moee….. closes eyes, nodding sortof whispering towards tsukasa but still audible: but doesn't it make you wish it would be challenged….
あ:oh it's very fun to see amane be challenged [tongue lolling emotion] his reactions are the best so, will you? [wishmaker voice]
but during this babbling i do want amane to just burst out like HEY. [INTERRUPTS.] Look look look…………………. Fine. We'll try it out. [like ugh.. UGH. it doesnt matter wtf.] so can we stop talking and actually get to the funs tuff
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getting indignant about not being predictable. its NOT in my nature. i'll show you two…
つ:i'm not even, having problems!!!
あ:If it really matters soo much to you Yashiro. Fine! Whatever you know. Oh me? Totally fine
つ:tsukasa smiling pleasantly. flowers around. mmm hehe
あ:[HUFFS]. watch this. [coughs] GOOD BOY TSUKASA. [like i am blasting a sonic beam]
つ:big eyes also big eyes she can observe it indeed working but its so funny, the crudest animal, he is just buzzing like ehheheheehe!!!! REALLY!!
あ:the way you can't eat food as a joke etc. [not a very immediate response, but trying to maintain cool front] Mmm-hmm… of. course you are. You're always good. [hurriedly, no homo] Just like Yashiro. 💭 cuz you two are ~the same~ or whatever. ohh good for you.
つ:ah he's so funny he is so protected. just funny
but tsukasa is just like paaant hehe CANT RESIST PUTTING ARMS AROUND SHOULDERS!!! THANK YOU, AMANE!!! nuzzle nuzzle nuzzle
あ:trying to prove a point but feeling so
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つ:simply satisfied with this step 1. like we're rehabilitating an animal
あ:[grabs tsukasa's shoulders. but stops self from prying off.] [slack grip.] [doesnt. know what to do.] Yeah yeah you're welcome… [rolls shoulders.]
つ:hugs tsukasa….. you are good….. it'll be even more fun, some day
oooouu really……?
mmhm!
あ:Mhmm. [not looking at anything.] So fun. [sounds like i am appeasing some choddlers]
つ:grabs his cock
あ:[promising a kid you'll buy them a unicorn-- HRUGHFD]GF
つ:the way nene is threatening shijima. hthat sort of heelturn she can do or when she suddenly berates hanako after playing easygoing/dumb
あ:yes omg… played you under the fucking table actually i love whens he threatens shijima she gets all devil horns fully upright horns
つ:pumps through slacks. has her hand just between them, and a hand on tsukasa's back, still, from the hug
tsukasa is like hmmm, i see i see, holds Amane in place. increases grip on shoulders.
あ:Oh like the sound of iron bars slamming shut. it's all happening so fast -- like tsukasa reacted just before he could peel off and escape hand
Expert tsukasa reaction time So you just have Hanako kicking his legs about and making as if to float/inch backwards
startled horse out here. but ohhhhhhhhhh i think the cock pain is unimaginable in this position. 0-100… you weren't actually keeping track of yourself this whole time. feels like your body has been tense and wound up from all the prattling becomes so very hard in her grip it's abysmal
つ:nene has a devil horns mode somewhere inside of her. actually hanako being shitty this whole time has just made her certain of doing this, at a point.
あ:He thinks he can talk down to us like we're just two dumb kids or something ooooh....
つ:[flatly] oh, you got hard fast.
あ:dissociates
つ:slides hand into pants. just jerks off so fast
あ:It's never so. fast
つ:tsukasa's hand of this deal is simply being face against amane's cheek and nuzzling and getting THE most upclose experience of him breathing and panting and shuddering everrr WOOOOOWWWW
[heavily] Thhis is ffun, Nene-chan…… [breathed into Amane's ear]
あ:the-- you should never be talking to your sibling if you can see/touch your penis. shouldn't be chest to chest with tsukasa in embrace while getting cock stroked. sirens going off. WE ARE IN DANGER
but i think delightfully it shuts his brain down enough that he has no freaking plan of escape and is just squirmbling… grapples, grasps tsukasa and nene intermittently, tight grasps! but i think she is scarily determined and unfettered by some sloppy pawing at
they both feel amane buck into her hand harshly as tsukasa speaks… shuddering… trying to choke down noises….
つ:nene-chan is very impressive, he thinks.....
あ:very clever girl!
つ:tsukasa-kun, maybe you could keep doing that…..
mmm, talking? uuehehehe
あ:nene onee-chan is in the room, has the mic. i think she could be soo needling and exact actually, like: I can feel that he likes you talking.
つ:😮
あ:hauhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh reallyyyyy?
つ:make hanako grab his own face
あ:you are FLAYING HIM it sjust like NNGHFD!!! knocks off my hat
つ:Amane…. it's good if it's for Nene-chan, right…? Isn't it good? she wants this….. you're pleasing her! That feels good, doesn't it, Amane? You can't feel bad for doing something she likes
(why am I on blast….)
あ:(thats how it is girl…)
つ:he is chaotic alignment.
mm, mmm, you're giving her a show….! She likes us, you know….
あ:[hands claw at the front of tsukasa's shirt] [scrabble scrabble.. restless…]
つ:….[thinking about the show, for her, then] …… I love you❤️
あ:hanako has become the big show. [cock painfully, dramatically seizing in her grip] i think its so oo lfijgghf. like hg fkghf dont tsay yhtat while i am getting jerked off so hard ifkdgh ..f [leaks] [drips onto her]
つ:nene finally tongue-tied observing this. ack. ddndmn. boys simply can only keep pumping mindlessly
あ:its a lot to be right up against. sheeesh the intensity…
つ:petting Amaneeee... really stroking face, hair, back. no longer gripping him tightly in place...
あ:A good position honestly… i like how he could reach past tsukasa to touch nene for comfort too, pet her hair… not in any state to like… flee.. its like ooh…….. youve shrunk him…
つ:gaze BESEECHINGLY but helplessly. while bucking into hand. does this pleeaaase youuuuu
あ:is this really whatis wanted [whines.]
つ:shudders to hear him whiine so close.... also whines, like sympathetic animal
あ:help… the whacky shaaack [RUBS FACE AGAINST…]
つ:the threeway… was dangerous, always HYUUEEEE NUZZLING. STEAM COMES OFF HEAD
あ:nuzzling but in a manner like two possessed animals frenetic energy. we are not calming down from it
rub rub rub… ohh and the way tuggies can be sooo violent when youre feeling it like fucks hand soo hard. rhghfg… always feel insane when im feeling it THAT hard. girl isnt even moving her hand much
つ:at this point…. she is really just feeling his pace and intensity, it's mostly him now…. seeing them nuzzle… w… whoa…. never seen it like this… haven't imagined it like this…. ! s. sweet, right….
moves hands to weirdly touch his ribs, buttons of his gakuran
あ:auerrr.. dizzying… reflexively, hanako feels fear about something like this. gut clenches. you usually are trying to live your life so that you would never be in a position like this. [thinks] oh but the brain…! you know, i think everything that lead up to this has left him in a position where there's a voice that's just like.. wailing in the brain… like… 'why can't you just say it back… why can't you just say you love them…! why can't you just say it… i want to say it! i want to say it back… i do! i do want to…' [eyes squeezed shut, teeth bared] [shaking head back and forth] [pulling hips away in fear, pushing them back into grip harshly in desperation] … there's times where your own mental barriers are sooo at war with your raw raw brain being activated by sex.. like… it's as if someone has escaped prison and is trying to grab the mic -- QUICK, NOW!! N OW… SAY IT!! say it say it say it say it.. say it. say it!!!!!! say it…. you don't even tell yashiro it, you're soo shitty, PLEASE, SAY IT!! SAY SOMETHING!!! [throat SEALED.] SAY IT [lips twitching, pulling] [swallowing, tongue curling] CMONN JUST.. [sound that dies off in 1 second, rghh SCALDING NOO MURI MURI IF FGHDF I CANT]
it should be fine it will be fine. they'd be so happy to hear it. you're fucking them, why wouldn't you want them to feel good. [bonk. bonk.] but also: [DYING, CRYING, FEEL LIKE BODY IS GOING TO INVERT, TONGUE HURTS, MUSCLES ARE TENSE!! REFUSE]
つ:a part of hanako that is like I HATE IT THE MOST IF I SAY IT IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE!!! [but it takes a circumstance like this to say it, the way it works]
あ:i dont want to do it like this NOOO its not faaair i dont want to ITS EMBARRASSING HA-ZU-KA-SHIII!! FSDHGJF NOOOO… but also like: I KNOW YOU WONT DO IT LATER!! ASSHOLE
absolutely NO way will you say it in a casual context!!!
つ:that is the problem . you wont even THINK about saying it later, when you're all comfortable when the world is your oysterrrrr
あ:the more he tries… really TRIES to say something.. the more its like.. [choking sounds..] [pulls own hair] … i think it really cannot even get close to the sounds… such a hump, its just like vague buzzing in the throat.
[mouth moving indistinctly]
つ:tsukasa listening attentively to the starts and stops.... can tell he's trying at something... which is interesting.
あ:but i think itd be cuuute if… like he has to pivot and hoarsely say 'help' amane needs. help [shaking tsukasa's shoulders slightly] [head hung]
つ:!!! … [whispering like child] from me, or Nene-chan
あ:who do i give the gun
つ:all good, and terrible options
あ:difficult. oh but you know… despite everything, i do think its like, it is nene who is assaulting me and i think he's kind of feeling an instinctive urge to hide against tsukasa. your little shriveled pea islike my gf is scary… brother help
its funny… when i think about the hindbrain tsukasa wouldnt do this to me😭
つ:kowaii nene-chan!!! ITS TRUE. your gf is scarier
あ:in response to tsukasa's question, amane's hands reach up and grab tsukasa's face weakly wordless
つ:ah! [oh its me!] [actually quietly enough to not be heard by nene, especially over all the rustling….] yes, Amane…?
あ:[simmering slightly… what is this ……….. it feels like we're under a blanket and tsukasa is talking to me in the middle of big kid stuff…] [.. shimmies closer. umm turns out , whispering helps the feeble sealed throat] i w. i want to… >///<;;;. say. stuff. [muttering] but s'harrd.d….
つ:hmmm... how can I help you say it?
あ:[groans...] i dont know.......!! ........ ... i dont know what my problem is.
つ:nene so fucking interested in fact whispering is happening. suddenly feels like damn they are brothers IM the fuckin third wheel omfg
あ:holy shit…! [but like respectfully] thats fair for now. [closes eyes]
つ:it is like. respectfully .
あ:its funny to like pause jerking off. but still hand on cock
つ:you can't let him escape but indeed. ceases pumping. they are. talkingit seems rude.
hmmm. do you want to say something good? or bad? its like lol is he trying to say stop or something nasty or something nice …/?? hmhmm
あ:its good to be wondering lol [hanako looking miserable] good…? [pinches brow, frustrated] no, wait, definitely good. you. you want to hear it. i just. [rhg!] i just want to… i want to be like. [RGH!!!]
つ:oh, something I want to hear….! [sound of a penny falling to the ground] do you want to ask to kiss?
あ:
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you've made me so angry
つ:I'M SORRY HANAKO I'M SAYING YES TO THE MOMENT AND THAT IS WHAT TSUKASA WOULD SAY oh shit what i want? ok
あ:[distracted] you want to kiss. (fucking.. where the fuck am i!!!!!!!)
つ:nods it feels good
あ:uhuh. you know that
つ:they're talking so much.....
あ:its getting stupid out here [flatly] I don't want to say anything actually.
つ:fucking fsdklj;gkl;gjgklf;gg THIS IS HOW NARROW THE HOLE IS BUT ITS SO GOOD!!!! so ufunnyy.
あ:Unfortunately. Its gone there's no more urgency
つ:awe…..! okay…… …. nene-chan has paused. …. do you wanna finish
あ:you almost want to be like. No [sighs and slumps on] [just. reaches down and moves nene's hand] commence.
つ:o-oh..!!! c. continues?? tsukasa-kun… is he okay…..
un un…. [whispering to Amane again, much to nene's chagrin] amane asked me what i'd like to hear…. … there's too many of those to help you so, I'll never guess it.
you have to imagine tsukas'as brain trying to procure 'thing i want amane to say' is fucking. like. a cacophony of possibilities. and theyre mostly like. TSUKASA LET'S PLAY, TSUKASA LET'S HAVE A STARING CONTEST LIKE WE USED TO, TSUKASA I WANT TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER,
あ:hm things to make a guy horny honestly… you know amane's own nature keeps him suspended in things longer than necessary, you really put yourself into a state of being edged
so funny though youve kind of made it worse bc this time youre gonna b elike: kiss……… while getting jerked off again
つ:and then the ones Amane would especially not want to hear, the ill stuff like Tsukasaaaa let me do it againnnn, it felt so good [to stab you], Tsukasa you looked so good that day toooo, Tsukasaaaaa can I come on you
the fucking unending list of things Tsukasa Would Like To Hear. Would be a Tome
あ:hanako knows not what he is getting horny about i think its such a brainless reaction like oh you got so much huh
つ:lots.
あ:this is making suki feel like small potatoes
つ:in the grand scheme it is kind of small potatoes which is extremely funny its like, larger potatoes to NENE to overhear
like it would touch her heart. DONT GET ME WRONG TSUKASA WOULD LOVE IT AND BE VERY ENAMOURED TO HEAR IT!!!! amane is losing his mind over a single MINERAL
あ:no yes of course. oh its funny if. like despite the conversation devolving seemingly. that actually tsukasa took the edge off of things and hanakois like hwatever. i can say it in a roundabout way. like not how you think
つ:so effectively. so funny but it should work that way. like wtf
あ:you just made it feel so like [looks] [sighs while getting jerked off again] [leisurely almost] i love you too. there done. OHH everyone fucking clap now
つ:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
あ:thats right
つ:[overlapping audio] AMANE!!!!
HANAKO-KUN!!!!
あ:[leaks]
つ:[ALL HANDS RUSH FORWARDS TO PET]
あ:(⊙_◎)
つ:AMANEEE AMANE AMANEEEEE AHAHAHHAHAHA I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR THAT!! [stomps foot] I WOULD I WOULD I WOULD!!!
[wiping a tear] ah… I did something….. !!! good for them…. this feels like something has been loosened….. I did something nice…. after all…
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!! Amane!!! [NUZZ NUZZ]
あ:[being assaulted, but stress has been diffused enough that he can just cough. loll head, eyes lidded still]
つ:I love you, too…..!
あ:I love you… [muttering.]
つ:[cracks voice bc he is so precious rn, wtf!!]
あ:[reaches and pets nene] [cups her face for a bit]
つ:a more elegant, delicate jerking motion, loving caresses
あ:well here i am… ( ̄、 ̄) and. indeed. this feels good. okay i did it. ( ̄﹃ ̄) i proved myself i close my eyes and ic ome. because ti is my choice
つ:nene snaking in to kiss him on the cheek comes peacefully
あ:i like to do it. [rests chin on tsukasa's shoulder]
つ:it pleases my compatriots.
nene after this is like. HOOUUUUUUUUhh… OOFs down like ahhh a hardworking girl, exhausted, emotionally…. but this ended so well…. pleased… satisfied…. mmm
あ:imagining hanako having become so placid he looks kind of dead-eyed and vacant
つ:[whispering, but audibly, to Nene. I dont need Amane to not hear this.] Thank you, Nene-chan…! I really liked it! its so fun to be right there!
あ:[loudly] I liked it too. [broken]
つ:turns
turns
あ:fkdghdf looks like fucking.. WHAT!!!!!!!!! "SORRY. should i say that i HATED it."
つ:both nene and tsukasa so like mmmmnn..g…h…. mmm…. mmm ah, they both laugh at him… giggly bubbly girlz
あ:what the fuck…………. [floats out of the room]
つ:continue giggling in a pile, facing each other…. for nene, it's an adrenaline rush finally like ah, petering off… wooo the butterflies, settling…! little tangle of limbs with tsukasa, hands intermingled, knees against one another…..
they will touch foreheads and laugh and have an odd atmosphere of nuzzling for a while. i wish i could make hanako regret leaving like he comes back and they are kissing lol
あ:loool yes oh my god the most like cucked feeling what hte fuck [angry]
つ:calmly kissing. happened organically. we didnt think about it
tsukasa was thinking about kissing and nene-chan was very keen on gazing upon tsukasa directly for once, not avoiding him, as that defeats the point of her new creed, and one thing lead 2 another, didn't think about it too hard
あ:Hanako whenever he forces his way between kou and nene. like slides myself in the middle physically descends on you two like an annoying weiner dog
visually i just love the thought of squirmbling over and descending between them. wergle wergle. chuffs.
つ:nene feels a bit shy about it like flkjsklf ah what HAS come over me omg… c. crazy day. feels slightly corrected (but a little amused….)…. tsukasa just feels LOL HAHA [cuddles j00 then. puts leg and arm around]
あ:[grabs her pussy] these actions happening simultaneously
つ:one motion nuzzle . doesnt notice you went for nene's pussy. just thinks we're snuggling all of us. ready for a naparoo
あ:[just wordlessly i continue to rub her pussy] its a crazy day indeed
つ:nene kinda feeling like a . oh i could get fingered… i was such a good girl for hanako-kun i did a good thing and I feel good about it, being fingered would be nice
あ:the receptiveness would make hanako feel like "sigh. i also would like to finger" but a funny atmosphere of doing this with tsukasa like. wrapped around. but like… allows it.
つ:some mutually comforting fingering for us. with tsukasa just latched affectionately, causing no problems. its like what nene did was increase possibility for things like… this. hanako technically in between them.
あ:you've greased the wheels… fingering nene… getting nuzzled… its good though…. mmm its almost like its… its easy enough to quietly use other hand to just pet tsukasa. rub…
つ:feeling the most, mmm my... dogs.... sigh. peaceful vibes. nene clinging and tugging, her girlish self. a kind of... nostalgic feel to how 'basic' this lil session is. nice for hanako
あ:can just get lost in the sauce of fingering. and we just enjoy that and do not engage in mental chess
siiiigh i want hanako's own stubbornness to kind of loop around into… like wanting to prove a point in how not big a deal this stuff is for me, look. but instead just entrapping himself in circumstances where he cannot escape the raw responses.. like. Look how cool and progressive i am (kisses Tsukasa on the head) or smtn. i lean over and peck on cheek. but then you are forced to live in the moment of both Nene and Tsukasa becoming [stare]
and also not being like brave still lakshfhd like youre so far from makeouts…
つ:i changed so much. i altered hanako's dna
whoa. o3o ….. tucks… against amane's back….
あ:humbling to be chuu'd
つ:one little step atta time!
i like that hanako will probably just like, decompress from THIS day… but spend remaining days just like. thinking about freaking… Nene… Tsukasa…. these freaks
she wants me to idk DO SOMETHING with him, he wants to, kiss me, nene would probably love to WATCH that…. i didn't ask for this this was not brought on be me, i wuld never instigate this .. BUT NEITHER WUOLD TSUKASA
あ:Why would Nene want me to look at Tsukasa while she jerks me off. wakaranai Didn't she just say that she would be too insecure if she was off to the sides. when justin is like. bitches be crazy
つ:bitches! be crazy!
あ:tsukasa definitely wouldn't do that like. i mean he hasn't.
つ:he is not that rogue.
あ:Even if……… like………….. on some technical level………….. Tsukasa would enjoy kissing me…. [don't like to think it.] …………… I mean, we literally lived and died together. And that's not what happened.
[self aware moment] I mean. Tsukasa… wouldn't. Force himself onto me. [mouth pressed into a line] I can clip him for just hugging me too much. [but you hate the self awareness] it's kind of my fault for not rejecting the situation harder earlier. bUT I WOULD BE MORE SANE IF YASHIRO HADN'T GOTTEN ALL COCK CRAZY
つ:its hard for a guy to think while he's being jerked off! i can't make decisions like that! i can't slice the pie!!!
あ:fucking.. what guy can say no to hottest girl he knows jerking him off!! of course it feels good wtf so it's her fault i guess
[literally stewing for hours] …. and tsukasa even TOLD yashiro that he is fine with things, and, HE IS, he's liable to stick his hands somewhere he shouldn't for a second but-- He's just not thinking, it's like when he'd make a grab for food too fast before mom set it down
つ:he's just childish like that it's YASHIRO who wants to.. take things to some, new level. For some reason….! Pervert… a perversion of my relationship
あ: Insatiable… Not satisfied with things as they are… for some reason It's not enough to be sitting on Tsukasa like some luxurious throne while I fuck her
つ:its not enough to be so spoiled, i have to be harassed…
do enjoy thinking about Hanako toasting himself internally while starting out/trying to drag nene mentally for being the weird one here. you just get to the point its inevitably like. depraved… horny,gf. bizarre, freakish girl, wants it to get so weird in here, ew, wants to swap spit with me and my little brother like a whore
[just laying like this for a long time] [notices he has a boner] N
あ:Hanako is making the air quantifiably more humid
つ:i love a guy alone in his bathroom at night with too much spare time to think. alone with boner
あ:Honestly I think about this so much. I mean it's actually kind of what my reoccurring bit is with Hanako, where -- in , shaming you for being horny about this, he goes on to describe things graphically and gets horny in teh act of doing it
I do think whenever it's like: Stupid slut.. what… you want me to fuck his face he's really stoking himself at the thought
つ:stroking himself
あ:I think also the format of bullying makes him get cruder and harsher than he would normally... but htis just makes him. horny!!!!!!!!!!
つ:not being eloquent guy no more
あ:While trying to be upsetting. its like whaaaaat... you wanna jus twatch... finger yourself.. while he jerks me off [losing vision]
つ:its his own fault. But it's a noxious cloud effect where it dissintegrates nene too much for her to be the one to call him out, and turns tsukasa into the one like [looks]
あ:You know when a character is just broke. and they walk themselves back into, like, having fantasies
Your brain like ran a maze incidentally. desperate for pleasure It just expands Hanako's brain to think in this format. you can suddenly see so many positions
つ:its one situation though where nobody can do basically anything... it will just be hanako rambling like a madman, horny, tsukasa getting hot wind into his brain like mnrgm? (has NEVER congealed this imagery in his LIFE)
nene recieving this like it'sa scolding, but its also things she could have NEVER congealed as imagery, either!!!
あ:the [chuckles im in danger kid] fused with [why would you draw that] meme
つ:dealing with the immediacy of the imagery hanako is creating images for everyone involved to be slack jawed at
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Thoughts On The Snowgrave Route
[ spoilers for deltarune chapter 2 !!! it’s free go play it smh my head ]
i know i haven’t been active much recently, but my finals’ve been really fucking me up, so i just spend any free time playing games tbh. which lead to me getting my ass up to actually finish playing the snowgrave route at chapter 2. i’m still reeling from the afterglow of it, so words might go a bit funky
firstly, i LOVE this route. unlike the genocide route in undertale, where the game actively punishes you for even attempting it in the first place (heavy-grinding enemies for LV, sans’ fight and chara’s speeches) the snowgrave route though may give you tons of chances to abort it, it doesn’t truly try to guilt trip/shame you for playing the game this way, at least in my opinion. you mostly spend time running around just freezing enemies, which ends up being more rewarding in retrospect because it makes your playthrough a lot faster- therefore being a viable speedrunning technique. yes, there are true route speedruns out there, but said speedruns usually average out to almost an hour, whereas snowgrave cuts down 15-20 minutes for the run. and so, this route is actually more useful than the true route in terms of gameplay.
in terms of story, though ? depends on who you ask, but personally i find it so fascinating. as a writer, i always try to dip my toes into unfamiliar territories, and remove my own personal judgement against what said territories are. which often means i dive into topics which i can’t portray, simply because it’s out of character. but i really love to just explore concepts of psychological horror, manipulation and overall problematic concepts in fiction- as it shows what the human mind is truly capable of conveying in art, no matter the shape or form. still, there are something i generally object to, of which i will not name here for appropriate-content rules. ah right, back to deltarune-
here’s the thing, the snowgrave route doesn’t actually change much (plot-wise, anyways) for the chapter in generally. other from berdly possibly being dead/comatose, the ending largely remains the same, which ties into the ‘two paths, one destination’ theme Toby’s working towards. the reason i find snowgrave to be a ‘better’ story is not because it’s more ‘happy’ or ‘good’, but because it brings more complex concepts to the table. if the player/soul and kris are separate beings and the soul can seemingly talk without need for a vessel then how did they get bound together in the first place ? was the empty vessel created in chapter 1 related to this ? what happened to des/december, and why was her disappearance traumatic for noelle ? what is ralsei planning, and why is he finding time to tell only kris and not us ?- these questions raise discussion and theorizing, which makes a story feel that much more alive and mysterious. i’m not sure if every other party member is going to get their own ‘weird’ route, as there are already theories of either toriel or undyne joining you in the Dark World. along with this, i wonder if these developments would change the party members in the next chapters, since if you attempt all ‘weird’ routes, your team might be changing to fit how your relationships’ll morph.
okay okay. here’s the long as fuck analysis of snowgrave kriselle and how they got forcefully married to eachother- in which would probably not be that long since i usually overestimate myself. as i said, the snowgrave route revolves around kris being controlled by the soul to manipulate noelle into committing mass murder. aside from that, this route actively focuses on kriselle (or player x noelle) as a relationship more than the true route (which has suselle as the main ship) and the way that relationship is portrayed is incredibly fascinating. it’s clear that no party want into this relationship, but a force beyond their understanding forces them together, and ‘marries’ them off. it’s not much of a literal sense, but more of bounding to fearful souls together. we know that kris is often portrayed as a ‘knightly’ type, with their Dark World outfit having a sword, the plated armor, the fakeout that tries to trick players into thinking they’re literally ‘The Knight’ at the end of chapter 2. and what do knights do ? they go save princesses. noelle is made to be a damsel in distress type when you first find her in the Dark World, having to rescue her from Queen’s grasp. along with her being the only character so far that has a long dress often associated with royalty/angel imagery, you can see how kris and noelle feel like a duo of ‘knight and princess’ from a designing and story standpoint. this makes it so that the soul forcing kris to manipulate noelle is that of a twisted version of a king marrying his son off to a princess. this gets shown more and more as ‘marriage’ imagery appears in the route (the addison calling them ‘something else’, the constant appearance of rings and how they work as the push from the player to force kris closer/manipulate noelle further)- it’s a pretty clear way of showing that kris and noelle are now ‘bound’ to eachother, almost like how the soul is bound to kris’ body. i’d imagine this route might lock suselle out of the game later on, but who knows with Toby, honestly.
wow, uh. that’s.. really long lmao- anyways thankers for reading my midnight ted talk see you next week !!
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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years
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Childe NSFW Headcanons
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May not make sense 100% due to mind still clouded by sickness lmaooo
Count: 699 words
Sex is a drug to Childe that has the same ecstasy as that of a good fight, a less threatening and less deadly alternative. It makes his heart pump in excitement, his muscles strain the same way as reflex, stamina challenged to the max against an opponent.
And honestly, in his eyes, the bed too is a battlefield. There are a lot of things taken into consideration when in the bed with this man:
He likes to wrestle for dominance and his stamina is that of a lion in heat. While he lives in the sensation, he also revels in the pleasure of his partner. It's a two-way battle, and every moment in bed will not be dull when you deal with him.
Clothes are off his back everytime, no skips. Doesn't matter if you're not taking yours off, even if it's much appreciated if it wasn't on you, but he's keeping his back out on the open— yes, back.
He prides himself victorious whenever you dig your nails into his back, the sensation tingling him and the pain edging him with thrill.
With that in mind, Childe pays CLOSE attention to your fingernails before every session. If they're long and sharp, that's cool, spicy. If they're trimmed down and filed tho, hoho, it's gonna be a loooong night.
He will make it his mission, an added challenge, for you to scratch his back DEEP with those dull fingernails and he will pound you into oblivion until you manage that. If not— well oopsie, the sun is shining now.
You may despise the scars on his back but he loves the heck out of it. Able to pleasure you like that, he'll definitely go around the house shirtless just to flex for a bit over the good night you had.
Speaking of being shirtless, he keeps his gloves on for a short period of time during your woohoo. Uh, why? Because the graze of the material when he runs it over your supple skin gives you the slightest yet most delectable shiver he savours watching.
The way you writhe under his grasp just like that, intensified too with how dim the lights are and how unexpected his fleeting touches would be—
Then he'll toss it away because he wants to finally grasp your flesh fully under his touch. Good shit.
Aftercare for child is,,, dependent. This decision lies mostly on you, criterias such as: a) whether you're conscious after sex, and b) whether you're conscious that you're clean after sex.
If you're too lazy or tired for cleaning up, he's uhm he's actually staying in you. Knotting. You're sleeping with a piece of him in you, so too uh totally prevent your juices from spilling hehe.
If you wake up aroused because of your circumstance, he'll happily indulge you. But he's honestly satisfied as is, so you don't have to worry about working so early in the morning.
Frustrated sex/hate sex barely happens, or doesn't happen at all. Tartaglia excels in strength in more ways that exceed your own, a huge chance he can punt you to the ground easily. And this knowledge, although thrilling, scares the man a lot.
Frustration, stress and anger is dealt off by finding someone to fight. He will not risk hurting you beyond what is pleasurable in bed.
Because to him moments together with you should be done out of love and nothing more.
He wants you to sleep in the bed remembering good memories, to dream in a blanket of positive thoughts and no remains of such horrible fragments.
It's always either top, bottom or switch right. So I present to you: all of the above. Childe likes to be on top, and if you try to dominate, he'll gladly be bottom— power bottom. Sorry honey, it's a battlefield, man's not backing down.
And finally, hands. He likes to either have your hands joined together during sex or your hands ALWAYS on him. Your squeezes and grips can ground him and he uses it to look out for his strength a lot: he uses your grip and noises to measure whether he's going too strong or too slow and will adjust accordingly.
Scaramouche NSFW Headcanons
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Didn't see this one coming, did you? owo
Count: 684 words
Scaramouche is into show and tell a lot, and even before the game itself, he's making things slow and sensual in the rare moments that he has all the time in the world tonight.
He'll slowly take off his pieces of clothing one by one while maintaining solid eye contact, making sure you watch. And after his, it is his obligation to the same to you, hand gliding over the buttons and undoing them with slow yet precise movements.
He acts like a predator seducing his prey before pouncing. Urging. Manipulating. Soon enough while your senses are overwhelmed with the tingles of his hands brushing against your skin ever so slightly, you'd already found yourself on your back on the bed, fully undressed.
No, Scaramouche does not wear his fuckin hat in bed, don't ruin the mood-
Sex is like therapy to him especially with you. He uses it to get away from the world's heavy burdens and cruel machinations by drowning himself in pleasure enough to pull him away. And with this he brings you the gentleness he only ever uses when he muses or ploys under the enemy's nose.
He will divulge himself in all the details, run his hand over your ecstatic flesh: how your blood flows through your body, the bumps appearing as he passes by it, how your pulse quickens during such moments. If you look at his eyes, he looks distracted and far away, but he'll notice you staring and you'd know he's still there.
As one of his moments of relaxation, just like Childe he doesn't get violent or abusive during it. But it's not entirely impossible either, for he has moments where the frustration comes with him and he just needs a better, more brash distraction. Hot, steamy woohoo comes around when his idiot workmates do him under like the usual fuck-ups they are, lol.
Scaramouche... finds the most pleasure in overstimulation, from both sides. Short darling does not like to choose sides but he is very easy to flip over and top especially when he's still coming down from a high—
So while you top him and pound him while he's still sensitive, he's a writhing, begging mess. He's sputtering because of overstimulation, and you can do this over and over again until you know he's satisfied. How do you know he's done?
Ah, well, he flips you over and topping you for one last time with such a violent pace and a dangerous glint in his eyes. You dare make him putty, he'll do it ten times worse to you.
Scara likes bite marks on the first phase, the foreplay, or the slow and sensual phase. He doesn't like going to your neck, biting while on the peak of the sex, because it's both distracting and hard to crane so damn low like that.
The way he bites is like this: he'll first softly nuzzle his lips to your neck (his go-to spot for chomping), plant a lingering kiss, give a tentative lick then bite down. He will suck on it depending on how long he wants that hickey to stay, but there will always be ONE that stays for days. Sorry, citizen, standard procedure.
Another thing, Scaramouche is awfully quiet during sex. He doesn't hold back his noises but he ends up paying attention to yours more, aaaand he barely talks, whether it be sweet nothings or bitey remarks.
When you ask him about this the first time, the Harbinger would be pleasantly surprised because he himself didn't notice. But he could only offer a shrug and brush away the talk with a blush, stating something along the lines of 'pillow talk shouldn't be done in broad daylight.'
And so you made a hypothesis: he could be silent because he usually can't shut up like what the others said, right? Whether he quiets down from exhaustion or from guilt, you'll never find out.
After sex, he rests by leaning his ear on your chest, burying his face between your breasts. The sound is a nice lullaby enough to send him to sleep peacefully.
We all have our own interpretation of NSFW headcanons and this is just a personal thought upon breaking down their character deeper in a more psychological way lololol. May or may not be experienced on lewd stuff kek-
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