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lauralot89 · 1 year

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Loveless

I'm late on this because the book was published in 2020, but I only heard about it in the last month when I was reading an article about asexuality in fiction but in case anyone is out of the loop like me let me tell you about this glory

Loveless is a YA novel by Alice Oseman, author of Heartstopper and Solitaire. It tells the story of Georgia Warr, freshman at Durham University, and her realization that while she's in love with the idea of romance, the actuality of a romantic/sexual relationship repulses her.

Alice Oseman herself is aroace, which makes perfect sense because throughout the novel I kept asking myself, "How does she know? How does she know?! How did she get these thoughts out of my head?"

for my fellow ace and/or aro people, let me quote some of the lines that just got me straight in the soul:

"I had a theory that a lot of people's "celebrity crushes" were just faked to fit in."

"I was disgusted by the thought of him near me. Wanting things from me. That wasn't normal, was it?"

"Oh, God, this thing is actually real, it's not just in fanfics and movies. And I'm supposed to be doing it too."

"Did I even know what romantic feelings felt like?"

"He was clearly the sort of person who I should like romantically. Who I could like romantically. He looked like a boyfriend. I loved his personality. I'd loved his personality for years. So I could fall in love with him. With a little bit of effort. Definitely."

"I thought I'd understood what all these romantic things would feel like--butterflies and the spark and just knowing when you liked someone. I'd read about these feelings hundreds of times in books and fanfic. I'd watched way more romcoms than was probably normal for an eighteen-year-old. But now I was starting to wonder whether these things were just made up."

"Straight people don't think shit like that."

"Just because I'd never liked anyone didn't mean I never would. Did it?"

"I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you're all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke."

"How could I feel so sad about giving up these things that I did not actually want?"

"I felt like I was grieving. I was grieving this fake life, a fantasy future that I was never going to live."

"How was it fair that everyone got to feel that except me?"

"I never had any crushes when I was a child. Not any real ones, anyway. Sometimes I confused friendships for them, or just thinking a guy was really cool."

"For a long time, I was just dating and having sex because that's what people did. And I wanted to feel like those people."

"You've been so confused about stuff. You really thought we could be together, because you do love me. Not in a romantic way, but just as strongly."

"Oh. This is an asexual thing. I forgot other people are obsessed with having sex."

seriously the entire time I spent with this book I just kept asking "was this written for me specifically?" because that's exactly how it felt.

It is a gorgeous book that explores that bizarre feeling of not knowing the word for what you are, not even knowing that you are something out of the ordinary because we don't define ourselves by what we lack and we just expect that one day, it'll happen and we'll be like everyone else. That struggle of trying to differentiate between loving someone and being in love with them, and trying to make the former into the latter and hurting everything in the process.

It is so good. 10/10, no complaints

also there's an asshole in the university's queer pride group who doesn't think aces belong and everyone hates him so that's fantastic, aphobes fuck off

in conclusion I highly recommend it

#Laura reads Loveless #Loveless #Loveless novel #Alice Oseman #Loveless book #aroace #actuallyasexual #actuallyaromantic #asexuality #aromanticism #ace representation #aro representation #asexuality in fiction #aromanticism in fiction

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romansleftshoulderpad · 2 years

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I love sex positive aces. I love asexuals who feel sexual attraction and I love those who don’t but engage in sex anyway! However, I’m so fucking sick and tired of having to bring them up just to prove that asexuals belong in the same spaces and conversations as everyone else.

#asexual #ace pride #asexual pride #actuallyasexual #can you tell I'm tired of allosexuals #Yes I am sex repulsed #Yes I am tired of allos assuming all aces are #yes I am even more tired of hearing about sex in general pLEASE talk about SOMETHING else

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canon-asexual-poll · 6 months

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Here is our bracket! Polls will be live tomorrow, Nov 14 at 10AM and will last for one week. Propaganda will be reblogged on this blog, but please put it on the poll posts or the character interest posts. Don’t submit propaganda through asks.

All round 1 matches will be linked below the cut after they go live

Caduceus Clay (Critical Roll) vs Diane (Lumberjanes)

SpongeBob SquarePants (SpongeBob SquarePants) vs Jughead Jones (Archie 2015)

Ca$h Piggott (Heartbreak High) vs Isaac Rydle (Val & Isaac)

Gwenpool (Marvel) vs Mousefur (Warrior Cats)

Todd Chavez (Bojack Horseman) vs The Professor (Gilligan’s Island)

Kale Romero (Monster Prom) vs Sakuko (Koisenu Futari)

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives) vs Lore Woodwind (Val & Isaac)

Dr. Grissom (ARS Paradoxica) vs Coach (Monster Prom)

Lilith Clawthorne (The Owl House) vs Argent Adept (Sentinels of the Multiverse)

Maya (Borderlands) vs Luffy (One Piece)

Green Arrow (DC) vs Count Orlo (The Great)

Peridot (Steven Universe) vs Jody Marsh (Zombies, Run!)

Perry the Platypus (Phineas & Ferb) vs Alex (AJ & Magnus)

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) vs Fitzroy Maplecourt (The Adventure Zone)

Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper) vs Nellie (Rain)

Mordecai Heller (Lackadaisy) vs Takahashi (Koisenu Futari)

#asexuality in fiction #asexual representation #asexual #actuallyasexual #tumblr tournament #canon asexual poll

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autistic-angel · 11 months

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Saying that people aren’t asexual because they aren’t amoebas is like saying “that’s not a bat. It has wings and doesn’t hit a baseball”

#asexual #asexuality #actuallyasexual

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wreckitremy · 2 years

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Ace people are celibate in the same way that herbivores are vegetarian

#ace #actuallyace #actuallyasexual #ace positivity #asexual positivity #asexual #ace culture #asexual culture #ace humor #asexual humor #benedryl thoughts #may 2022

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butterflyinthewell · 2 years

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I’m an old cis queer who is sick of bootlickers, radfems, exclusionists, TERFs and fascist conservatives’ crap.

By old I mean I’m over 40.

I won’t tolerate this anti-trans and anti-kink-at-Pride crap.

If fascists are latching onto your views and elevating them, you’re on the wrong side of history and you have no place in any queer person’s life. Doesn’t matter if you’re queer too, if you’re siding with fascists you can gtfo.

Sit and seethe.

(Image ID: Godzilla in profile, with his hands spread. Text beside him says, “#TransRights. Trans people are human beings, and their rights to exist are not “an opinion” or “up for debate”, they are non-negotiable. Trans people are awesome. If you disagree, LEAVE.” :end ID)

(Image ID: Godzilla, in profile, looks down at tiny humans gathered on the top of a submarine sitting on the surface of the ocean. The text next to him says, “if you call trans -or any lgbtqia+- people groomers solely because they’re trans or lgbtqia+ and not because you can prove an individual raped a child, you are nothing but a bigot and your opinion should be discarded. Stop falling for fascist propaganda.” :end ID)

#Godzilla #trans rights #trans rights are human rights #pride 2022 #lgbtqia+#queer #actuallyasexual #protest #fuck terfs #fuck exclusionists #fuck aphobes too #fuck bigots #fuck fascism #swearing #water #Tay don’t look

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hungarianmudkip69 · 9 months

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thinking abt the time i explained the meaning of the colors of the ace flag to my dad and when i got to "white is for non-ace allies" he excitedly and loudly declared "I'M WHITE"

#asexual #actuallyasexual #for context my entire family is very pale skinned #so like. yes. yes you are

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ariel-s-awesome · 2 years

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"Headcanoning characters in [marginalized group] as asexual is infantializing them!!!! So you shouldn't do it because it's inherently bigoted!!!!"

Oh my GOD shut up and just say you don't see asexual people as adults. You're doing the infantialization here. Not the autistic aces or whatever other asexuals in another marginalized group relate to characters like them.

If you're not asexual stay in your fucking lane.

#allosexism #actuallyasexual #if it's the only asexual post you reblog I instantly hate you #actuallyautistic #idk the current safe asexual tag because REGs are fucking ASSHOLES who repeatedly DECIMATED the asexual community on Tumblr #actual original content #personal #btw if you've ever reblogged a post like that you're on thin ice #there are several variations of those posts following around and I hate them all

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rabbitindisguise · 1 year

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asexuality is experiencing little to no sexual attraction and encompasses everyone but allosexuals, including demisexuals and grey aces

#personal #asexuality #actually asexual #actuallyasexual #ace #aroace

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vergess · 11 months

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FWD (no, I am only now asking this, maybe): "Vergess are you ace!"

I don't know!!!!!

I don't personally think of myself in such terms because they aren't of political value to me.

In an absolute sense, yes, I am "asexual." I experience NO sexual attraction to any person.

But in practical terms, I have no connection to asexual culture. Even in the Before Times of 2012 when being ace hadn't yet been shat on by TERFs, the term just does little for me.

I love sex. I seek it out constantly. It's one of my favourite hobbies. I have had more sexual partners than I can count. I will continue having more. Being a slut is my third highest calling in life.

If there are asexual sluts out there making a name for themselves, I've never met them and I'm not associated with them.

Hell, there's even that fucking quote circulating about the Barbie Movie about how she's asexual and "therefore" she can never be sexy only have sex projected onto her, and.

Like.

Okay, I get it, "asexuality" is not a term I'm allowed to use, okay, damn, calm the fuck down.

When I attend asexuality focused events and exchanges, there's nothing there for me, or for people like me. There's such an intense focus on desexualizing things that are hypersexual that there's no room left for someone like me. A freak who feels no attraction and just Loves To Fuck.

There's so much focus on recovering from the damage done by TERFs, and the damage done by SWERFs goes ignored.

I don't feel welcome, regardless of anything else. There's just not space for people like me there.

I don't consider myself "ace" because I don't consider myself a part of that community. I have little to contribute to it, and seemingly it has little to offer to me.

An ally, certainly. Asexual, yes, I suppose. But ace?

No, no, probably not I'm afraid.

Just one of many reasons that I consider myself aromantic above all else.

#Asks #Answered asks #ace #asexuality #actuallyasexual #happy pride I guess oof

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lauralot89 · 9 months

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#Barbie #asexuality #actuallyasexual

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feekins · 10 months

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oops, I made ur fav aroace :( they're completely sex-repulsed now :( and they have no interest in being in a romantic relationship :( they're living their best life with their found family :( who values their unique ways of loving others :( and now they're kissing their found family on the head bc they Care them so much :( also their found family is asexual :( sorry not sorry

#actuallyasexual #actuallyaromantic #text postan 2k23 #me hcing my favs like YOU'RE aspec and YOU'RE aspec EVERYBODY'S ASPEC!!!!!!!!

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canon-asexual-poll · 9 months

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Welcome to the Canon Asexual Poll, the tournament to honor what little representation we have!

I'll start in a week or when I get at least 16 prominent 32 asexual characters, whichever comes second.

Edit: I still need at least 16 prominent characters but I upped it to 32 so the little guys can at least compete.

See under the cut for more details and a submission link.

The most well-known characters will be competing to avoid crushing ones from less-prominent media. Feel free to submit less popular characters anyways since I'm considering making a separate bracket for them afterwards.

Here's a list of preliminary candidates along with other submissions and banned characters. I say preliminary because popular characters who's asexuality is prominently shown will be prioritized.

Please consider reblogging this post so this tournament gets enough traction for anyone interested to vote.

Rules

No headcanoned characters. It's nice that fans see themselves in them but let's not give their creators credit for what they didn't intend.

Submit proof of them being asexual as detailed on the form. If I already posted how they were confirmed you can just send the name.

Don't submit any banned characters. I refuse to honor their creators for blundering them.

#tumblr tournament #Tumblr polls #Tumblr bracket #polls #tournament #actuallyasexual #asexual #ace representation #asexuality in fiction #asexual representation

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ix-c-999 · 1 year

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I think it's so based of me that I'm a (partially) alloromantic asexual who prefers QPRs to romantic relationships

like due to the dilution of the term QPP and amatonormativity, I think most people who had both romantic and queerplatonic relationships would be expected to prefer a romantic relationship

but no, I'm someone who can experience romantic feelings in a romantic relationship and I would honestly prefer that my relationship with a partner were platonic

It's true that this is informed by a degree romance repulsion I have, so I do have factors that another grayromantic may not have but. yeah, no amatonormativity for me

#.txt #actuallyasexual #actuallyaromantic #aspecposting

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wreckitremy · 2 years

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I don't personally identify with loveless, (demiromantic & lovequeer myself) but I recognize the level of struggle to get people to understand it.

Bc to understand it, people generally need to already understand asexuality, the split attraction model, aromanticism, and amanormativity to even have a chance at understanding the identity.

Now I bring this up, bc for a while now, I've been having feelings about the concept of wanting to look attractive, that feels similar to how loveless people talk about love.

I am fully supportive of sex favorable aces and aces who want to be attractive. But that is not me.

I am also fully supportive of trans people who want to be attractive. But that is not me.

The way I feel about the concept of wanting to look attractive, is tangled up in my agender and ace identities.

I do not want to be attractive. The idea of someone finding me attractive is not something I would ever want to exist. I may want to look cool, but if the cool factor has anything to do with sexual attraction, I want nothing to do with it.

I also do not find the human form pretty. My view on it is reminiscent of people letting go of the idea that human babies are cute. It's a potato, and im not interested in seeing pictures of it.

I don't know what to call this, but I need a word for it.

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butterflyinthewell · 2 years

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Made a Godzilla banner for my Twitter. Godzilla is defending ace colors from acephobes. 😎

#pride #queer #asexual #actuallyasexual #actuallyace #ace pride #lgbtqia+#pride 2022 #here to piss off acephobes and exclusionists #go back to your sewers #Tay don’t look

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