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#This thing always makes me cry
starlitink · 1 year
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youtube
I would like to present:
A song that makes me cry every time I hear it.
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inkskinned · 8 months
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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otrtbs · 1 month
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guys i saw a tiktok with people hating on jarty croucher in the comments and i cackled its so funny to me like you’re gonna let a ship named JARTY CROUCHER upset you??? there’s like 15 people on this ship and like at least 50 tiktok hatersnajskwisiwksks
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turrondeluxe · 7 months
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Opinion on the hc that the (2012) turtles are bilingual (with there first language being Japanese) ?
(Kansjevdjdhud, I love that hc smm<3)
ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE HEADCANON EVER
i love multilingual turtles!!!
i do think 2012 it's the one iteration that seems to be more in touch with yoshi's culture the most.
this might be for the fact that yoshi didn't have absolutely anyone at all when he arrived to new york, a complete unknown different place to him.
it's not literally specificed but one can deduce yoshi got the four turtles in the first place as an attempt to not feel as lonely after losing his family,his clan and being exiled.
so after the mutation i feel like yoshi would have taught the boys how to speak and read in japanese first instead of english since he would have been trying to find a level of normalcy and comfort in all he was going trough.
Another fact is that the brothers are used to splinter telling them stories as a way to pass the time when they were growing up. I like to think he tells them stories about different things like legends and just silly random stories from his past, all in yoshi's og language.
The show also shows it a lot! the brothers speak and understand japanese words pretty randomly! So i do think they mostly speak it while they are by themselves exclusively and at home instead of english (probably not much when april or casey are around as to not make them feel left out of the conversation tho)
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also another fun silly headcanon i like is that mikey somehow speaks and understands spanish because of how he says random words of the language in the show too lol. as to how he learnt it himself idk tho. he probably found some telenovelas in vhs or smt lmao
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brother-emperors · 7 months
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niccolo machiavelli & biagio buonaccorsi
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Machiavelli's Service to the Republic, John M. Najemy
eventually I'll read Sasso's writing on Machiavelli, but even reading Najemy's summary of the text with regards to Biagio and Machiavelli's relationship made me feel unwell™ in some kind of way like. even love. what an absolute gut punch pair of words to put in the middle of a sentence. I feel fine about it!! (a lie)
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The Life and Times of Machiavelli, Pasquale Villari
AND NOW. regarding the scene. the letter exchanging hands is referencing their correspondence in general, but to also how Biagio was a collaborator to Machiavelli's plans (and a little bit about how some of Machiavelli's works were copied in Biagio's hand)
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Machiavelli, Leonardo and the Science of Power, Roger D Masters
and regarding the red panel with the figure getting measured, it's about how Biagio had clothing for Machiavelli made to his own measurements in Machiavelli's absence.
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Niccolò’s Smile, Maurizio Viroli
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crystalflygeo · 11 months
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Smut Alphabet ft Baizhu + fem!reader
cw/tags: mentions of various sexual acts, oral sex, praise kink, pet names, sensation play?? marking/biting, TEASING, itty bitty possessive/jealous behavior, I gave Baizhu a bunch of snake traits I'm sorry it's the monsterfucker in me //sighs.
notes: SOMETHING NON-ZHONGLI??? WOWOWOW Yes I simp Baizhu sue me, more will come hopefully. Lord this has been on the works since the other one it took SO LONG I just didn't know what to write vbhsdbjk. Again feel like I'm repeating myself 20 times hhhhhh also this man is v vanilla or at least it started like that but then it got progressively hornier and.... yeaaaahhhhh. Partially dedicated to @floraldresvi bc even tho she doesn't share some of these ideas she gave me quite a few and she is the cutest Baizhu simp so <3 ehe
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Baizhu is quite clingy and loving in the aftermath, sometimes rubbing and massaging special scented oils along your skin while peppering kisses, to relax the muscles and prevent cramps.
Sometimes though, your activities also take quite the toll on him... in such occasions he’s left exhausted, he'll simply pull you into an embrace and stay curled up and close to you as you both come down from the high and relax together.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His hands. How could he practice medicine without them after all? The fact that he can pull such wonderful sounds and reactions out of you with them is just sublime. Even if they're a little bony with slender fingers, there is so much he can do with them.
As for his favorite part of your body: all your soft curves. Thighs, tummy, breasts, hips. Who cares if you got some scars, stretch marks or some "rolls"? it's only natural, you're healthy and your body is beautiful no matter what. He loves running his hands along your hips, rubbing a thumb at your thigh when sitting together, or resting his head in your lap/tummy as you play with his hair.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He’s very careful and considerate to always use protection, after all it is not only safer but more convenient at that. Either that or just release on his own stomach, then quickly get rid of it. He’s actually not that into it, the whole marking and dripping his seed on you. In fact, he feels it’s kind of degrading or disrespectful to you, convinced you’re too good to be dirtied like that. If you're giving him head and he does come on your face, expect a flurry of embarrassed apologies as he scrambles to clean you off.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He likes seeing you wear his clothes, seeing you doze off at his bed or just hang round his place. There’s a little feeling of belonging there, a little possessiveness. That you’re really his just as he is yours, that you two are together. It’s rather domestic but it warms his heart. When you rub your eyes first thing in the morning, still naked and sporting yesterday’s marks on your skin, when you step in the kitchen for some morning tea wearing only one of his larger robes… it makes him want to pull you close and never let you go.
He also quite likes to… bite…
But you’ll never hear that from him.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Truth be told... Baizhu has no real experience with this. He's tended to himself and had the occasional wet dreams and fantasies sure, but hands-on action... ehhh. If you're experienced, he'd love to let you take the reins for sure, and if you're both on the same boat, well... he'll gladly walk that path along with you.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Baizhu likes propping you over any slightly elevated surface: countertop, desk, table... you name it. That way neither of you exerts themselves or is weighting on the other, and he quite enjoys having you on eye level like this, your silky legs surrounding him, your thighs at just the right height for him to rest his palms on them as you take off his glasses and he leans in for a kiss...
But oh, sometimes he also quite likes having you on top, seated on his lap rocking slowly with his hands on your hips, you own supported around his neck bringing you two impossibly closer, hot breaths and sweet moans mixing together.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He’s a tease, and often likes to poke fun or fluster you, but it’s all in good faith, last thing he’d want is to actually make you uncomfortable. He’s quite lighthearted, little smiles and breathless chuckles weaved in together with other sounds of pleasure. He means for you both to relax and enjoy the moment.
H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc.)
If his gorgeous long hair or immaculate looks aren’t a clue already, yes, Baizhu takes very good care of his appearance. More often than not he wants to give off a sense of professionalism and good health, after all, as a doctor he’s got to set the example. His hands are rather soft and skin clean and shaven. Likewise, he simply keeps himself well trimmed down there. And yes, the drapes do match the curtains… (why would anyone ask or doubt that?)
I= Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Are they romantic?)
For him, this step of the relationship is certainly not to be taken lightly. When both of you finally decide to be intimate, he’ll make sure to treat you with the utmost care and love, focus on your movements, your voice, your reactions, kissing you tenderly. He is a passionate man, but that passion comes in slow waves, molten gazes, careful simmering touches. After all there’s no need to rush…
J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)
Baizhu doesn’t usually… indulge in things like this, already too worried with his mind thinking a million different things, body exhausted, always working, Changsheng always draped over him. The need to get off doesn’t linger and fester in him for too long. It’ll come, he’ll get slightly uncomfortable, then it'll leave. But in the lone relaxing moments he has, soaking in the bathtub, lying awake late at night in bed he can finally relieve some tension, thinking on your warm skin and wet kisses, letting out frail husky gasps and moans. And why should he be embarrassed? After all, it is a normal, natural and healthy thing.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
It’s hard to get him to admit it really, but he undoubtedly has a marking/biting kink. You see, the thing is, not only does he possess viperine eyes but also other certain traits as well: fangs, a forked tongue, an acute sense of smell, poor eyesight, bad regulation of body temperature, you name it! And if there’s something he likes it’s to sink those fangs on your skin like a mating mark. Don’t worry, he won’t actually hurt you of course, it’s just that marking you and leaving his claim feels immensely satisfying. He loves to admire them for days to come.
L= Location (Favorite places to do the do?)
Anywhere you two have a private quiet moment to yourselves, though nothing beats the intimacy of the bedroom. Particularly enjoys taking you apart at the pharmacy’s backroom, and if the situation arises when Changsheng and Qiqi are both busy he’ll pull you into his embrace for quite the ride. Slowly unraveling you on the bed by the candlelight, bending you over or perching you at the table, and even once he simply pressed and caged you against the wall and the rest was history…
M = Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them going?)
Your cute noises and reactions. To have you shivering under his touch, flushed red and whimpering, sporting his marks, telling him how good he’s making you feel, how much you love him. Please be vocal and praise him a little! There’s nothing he won’t do with a little begging from you. And he WILL make you beg, kissing your little clit ever so softly causing your hips to twitch, running his hands lightly over your breasts seeing the goosebumps rise and nipples pebble.
N = No (Anything they wouldn’t do?)
Baizhu doesn’t do well with degradation or harsh treatment, sure a quick desperate fuck here and there is doable, some spanking, but nothing really rough. Hard limits on anything inherently dangerous like knife play or choking, he simply wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt. He’s also really mindful and strict on things like proper preparation, hygiene, protection and aftercare. For as much as he likes to test limits and boundaries, he has the utmost respect and love for your body.
O= Oral (Do they like to give or receive? Are they skilled?)
Baizhu is all about the giving. He enjoys seeing you come apart on his skilled fingers and tongue, the sounds you make, the feeling of your soft thighs clamping on his hold. He takes his time, listening to the softest keens and moans that slip from your lips, taking in the pace of your heartbeat on his tongue to know exactly when to plunge the serpentine appendage inside you like he’s starved.
On the other hand, slick with precum before you even put your mouth to him, he is really sensitive and his pretty flushed cock will twitch wildly in your hand as you stroke him, tracing that small vein, lapping at the engorged head. As much as his head is spinning and low groans fall from his mouth, he’ll try very hard to maintain eye contact and keep track of your ministrations, the way your soft hands move and your lips stretch to accommodate him down to the hilt, cupping your cheek lovingly to wipe away a couple of tears, your eyelashes fluttering to meet his golden eyes.
P= Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
Definitely a slow and sensual lover, Baizhu prefers taking you apart bit by bit with loving and deliberate strokes. His life is already quite restless and chaotic, so he wants to make this as sweet and delicate as he can. He takes his time with his hands tracing every mark on your skin, pinching a little at your tummy and thighs, and rubbing gentle circles on your hips.
Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies? How often?)
A rare occurrence to say the least, but with his hectic schedule it’s bound to happen once in a while. They’re nice enough, every moment spent with you in his arms is precious, it’s just that he doesn’t like how short they are. A quick fuck in the backroom of the pharmacy between breaks not only has its risks but he actually often ends up feeling more riled up. Returning to his work slightly more distracted and aroused much to Changsheng’s frustration. He’d rather have long drawn-out sessions with you, slowly building up the heat.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)
For all his vanilla sweet love, if there’s anything he likes in life is trying new things, and that philosophy extends to the bedroom. Without a doubt he would agree to indulge in things that interest either of you, anything to bring you more pleasure after all. Communication is key and who knows, you might discover some new fun ways to enjoy time together. That said there's not much of a risk factor with him, Baizhu always plays pretty safe even when you're doing things in a bit of an impromptu manner.
S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
His constitution is frail, that is no secret. Now, he’s genuinely a little self-conscious about it, afraid he’s not properly satisfying you or even upset and insulted if you coddle and fuss over him too much. Sometimes he’s tired, it’s late at night after a long day of seeing patients, he gives you lazy thrusts and quiet touches showing it’ll be a simple night, a settle down for the day. Usually, his body gives out after he comes once or twice, though if you still have one more round in you, well, he’ll gladly give you the reins for the rest of the night.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He definitely enjoys playing with your senses. A blindfold, a bit of bondage, the touch of a feather dragging along your skin, even some ice or hot wax from a scented candle, don’t worry, he’ll be very careful. It’s not so much that he’s kinky per se, he just loves to see you react. Arch your back and cry out. And there are definitely interesting concoctions out there, electro slime can be used to increase sensitivity, and a combination of flaming flower stamen extract with some oil can... well... he’ll let you discover that by yourself.
U= Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)
He is a tease through and through, both inside and outside of the bedroom. A silver-tongued devil he knows very well what words to use and when to obtain the reactions and effects he wants. Fond of inside jokes, bringing up things that will make you squeak while other are none the wiser. Whenever he gets a little jealous, you’ll notice he also gets touchier, placing a hand at your shoulder or hip or straight up giving you a peck or blurting some pet name.
You’ve lost count of how many times a night you’ll tell him to stop teasing. He just chuckles and apologizes but after a few minutes he’s back on the game.
V= Volume (Are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk?)
He will praise you and tease you non-stop, spouting compliments and whispering promises into your skin as he worships your body. If you manage to catch him off guard and turn the tables on him, he actually lets out the most wonderful noises. So endearing in their restraint with quiet hisses and whimpers, and so surprising in their rawness with deep groans and occasional growl.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Although he can identify some scents and physiological reactions better than most, Changsheng is the real menace. A few flicks of her tongue and she’ll know for sure if either of you are… ehem… wanting. She’ll tease, she may even be a little passive aggressive but she’s respectful and considerate enough to slither off somewhere and give you both (or just him) some “alone time”. She might not always keep her mouth shut to Gui however.
X= X-ray (What’s going on down there?)
Baizhu’s size is nothing to sneeze at no matter how much he scoffs (blushing a little) and calmly mentions he’s statistically rather average. The thing is this man is a grower. Once hard his cock is rather long but not all slender, with a curve upwards and a few visible veins that are even more sensitive than he already is. You love to see him twitch after every kitten lick, rub or puff of hot air, and the tip takes on that pretty, purplish hue when he's really really needy. Although he makes it out to be not a big deal, he can't help the smugness that fills his head when he lowers you down on him that first time and sees the way you gasp and flinch as you try to adjust.
Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Average, if a little low technically? It’s not so much he craves the sex in itself but rather that intimacy, that connection. For him making love is just as much about the… well, love. He doesn’t just chase pleasure but he loves to see you come apart and have you drag him along. Never once has he thought he'd have such deep, pure love as the kind he has with you, so having you by his side, in his arms, under him, or sleeping peacefully curled up to his chest, completely at ease and comfortable in his presence, is a gift that he never takes for granted.
Z= Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep?)
He’s a little insomniac, pulling few frequent all-nighters to work or rolling over restlessly under the sheets. Sex, however, is one of the few things able to wear him out well enough to fall asleep easily, especially if you’ve gone for a few rounds. Occasionally, he still won’t be able to fall asleep afterwards, but in most cases the warmth of your body will be enough to lull him into an at least somewhat restful state for a few hours.
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bestiarum · 1 year
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earlgodwin · 7 months
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"The rift between him and his brother and sister has sort of widened and widened and whereas he's trying to be all mature and get over it, Neil [Jordan] was always keen on Juan coming back different and secure and grounded. That’s how I wanted to play it when he came back. He's spent the entire first series being picked upon and bullied by the family. I think the shock of Lucrezia actually manning up and trying to kill him had a huge effect as well. He’s growing and maturing. If there’s one aspect of Juan that never changes throughout both seasons is he always does what it true inside him. From where Juan stands he sees the hypocrisy in the family, how they can do one thing and say another. As far as Juan is concerned he's always had the best interests of the family at heart." — David Oakes.
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kabutoden · 1 month
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i look at you and my eyes are so so so wet like with tears tears of pure emotion and extend out my closed fist and then I open up my hand and you see her. my troll oc. the greatest oc. from 2013. I brought her back and redesigned her and im insane about her again. i begin sobbing on the ground. she’s so small. itty bitty……….
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pollyna · 1 year
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Baby Goose and Mav cuddling against Ice's chest, on the couch, while watching The Land Before Time pretending not to notice that Ice is crying during some scenes and them hugging him a little stronger because he always does the same when they are sad.
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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My best advice for trans people who are interacting with transphobes is to not delve into your personal experiences with dysphoria, childhood, sexual experiences, literally anything.
When I was a younger trans person, I thought I could prove my humanity to transphobes by delving into those aspects of my life. I genuinely thought that the more personal information I put out about my transness to transphobes, I could awaken something in them and make them realize "holy shit, I'm talking to a human being and not an abstraction of a 'person'".
What I learned, though, is that all I did was give those transphobes power over me. Transphobia often relies on unfalsifiable "theory" - that means that you cannot prove their theories of transness wrong. By playing their game, all you do is set yourself up to feel humiliated and degraded. By playing this game, you have already lost because they will cheat the game as many times as needed because they are going in with inherent bad faith.
You, in fact, do not owe your life story to transphobes. Their theory about transness is, simply put, that trans people can never be correct about our experiences. There will always be an ulterior motive for trans people in their eyes, because that is all they see. Don't give them that over you.
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terrorterror · 2 years
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scenes w/ eddie’s song 
I wouldn’t remember me either.      ➥ Stranger Things 4 (Original Score from the Netflix Series)
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share-the-damn-bed · 1 year
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JONATHAN & MIKE || then and now
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skullfragments · 3 months
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"I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?" "Well, you were dead." "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." "I will doubt again." "There will never be a need."
True love! a bit ineffable, wouldn't you say?
I think that Good Omens is similar to The Princess Bride in that both are full of humor and maybe don't take themselves too seriously, but are also full of love <3
Happy Valentine's Day! Have a little silliness and a smooch!
more princess omens
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lollytea · 2 years
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I'm never shutting up about this
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chocmoon-latte · 9 months
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Another reason why I think Hancock would have a crush on the Sole Survivor besides the obvious fact that you're out here helping the people of the Commonwealth, or how he thought you were an innocent vault dweller who needed protecting, is the fact that he's finally got someone he can be emotionally vulnerable with. Being the mayor of such a dangerous place like Goodneighbor means he needs to keep up a reputation to match it. There's no room for him to be soft or emotional in a place like this.
He's happy when strangers know who he is for having reputation that precedes him for being deadly because it eliminates any chances of someone out there possibly getting the idea that he might actually have a sweeter, more caring side. That's one of the main reasons why he even killed Finn in the first place. But he WANTS to be able to express softness. The problem is just that Goodneighbor isn't the place to do it, and a lot of the kinds of people you find in the Commonwealth in general aren't really the greatest types to be emotionally open towards anyways. In a world like this, it's something that could very easily be held against him.
He tells you that it's lonely being mayor and that he's running out on the good things and people he's got. He tells you that he's always been the one telling others to keep the emotion out of relationships in the past, but here he is being open and emotional with you. He says that everyone is entitled to some softness, himself included… but after he opens up to you about running out on the good things in his life, he asks you not to tell anyone else. Not necessarily because of the fact that it's personal, but because of the fact that he's afraid of word spreading around about this more emotionally vulnerable side of him and that people will think he's crazy for it (and as a side note, let's be honest, we've all seen how society on a larger scale views emotionally vulnerable men as weak).
A lot (not all) of his contradicting ideals when you first meet him make so much more sense when you look at him through the lens of a man desperately trying to conceal and repress the more sensitive side to him. The way he just lets you get away with so much during The Big Dig questline, even if you take your time to do every little thing against him. It's obvious that he doesn't really care all too much about punishing you - he just likes knowing he still has the power to make people frantically scramble to please him, because it helps uphold his reputation.
If there's one thing Hancock hates being more than anything, it's being powerless and weak. His biggest traumas come from how he was unable to protect the ghouls in Diamond City from being exiled or protect the drifters in Goodneighbor from being abused by Vic. If people in the Commonwealth knew there was a softer side to him, a large majority of the more dangerous organizations, especially the ones operating in his town, would consider him weak. If Hancock was considered a weak leader, then he wouldn't be considered fit to protect the innocent people that he so sworn to protect.
It's always baffled everyone how Hancock doesn't show any sadness when it comes to the death of Fahrenheit or finding out his brother was replaced by a synth and killed years prior, but I'm starting to wonder if we've been looking at it the wrong way this entire time. Maybe Hancock's lack of being visibly upset over them had nothing to do with Bethesda making poor writing decisions (they kind of do tbh), but had everything to do with him repressing his emotions.
So when he gets to travel with YOU the player, who has no prior knowledge of him, his reputation or past (and you aren't just another citizen he has to put on a show for) he feels like he can let his walls down around you. He's allowed to be emotionally vulnerable because he doesn't have to pretend to BE someone for you, and in turn, he feels like he doesn't have to run anymore.
(That was a lot sorry but I tend to get my thoughts out better in the form of long ramblings. Honestly there's so many ways he can be interpreted though, but I guess this is just somewhat of an analysis/me theorizing a little)
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