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rotationalsymmetry · 3 years

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Arsenal: Thought Checking

This is a CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) exercise, and it's based on the idea that "negative" feelings like anger and loneliness and so on usually come from "distorted" thoughts. However, there are some cases where the feelings know something the rational mind doesn't, and if you get a lot of internal resistance to this approach it might not be a good one to start with, or use at all. Philosophically, it pairs well with Stoicism (also with Buddhist ideas to a large degree): the idea is that suffering doesn't come from what happens, it's from what we think about what happens. How we interpret it. And whether we can change what's going on in the world or not, we always have some measure of control (with practice) over how we respond to it.

(This is not incompatible with working to change the world. You can work on both.) I've found that when this approach helps, it tends to help a lot and it often surprises me how much it helps. At one point I was doing this every day for a year or so. (If you're doing it every day, you probably aren't going to be feeling especially bad in the moment, so you pick a time when you did feel bad.) I got this from the book Feeling Good. I've got an app, MoodKit (small one time fee, not subscription, no ads), that walks me through the steps. There might also be online worksheets you can print out, or you can just do it freeform if you know the pattern. I'm going to give the format, then an example.

What happened? (short description, maybe one sentence)

How do I feel? (list as many feelings as seem relevant, and how intensely you feel each, from 0-100%. This is mostly to test whether this method is working -- you check your feelings again at the end. If you tend to get stuck here, you can look for lists of emotions online. If you're still not sure, take your best guess, if you just write "bad 100%" or whatever that's OK.)

What were my automatic thoughts? (1-3 sentences.) (This part can be surprisingly tricky because sometimes there aren't any conscious thoughts, the feeling just happens. But, there does tend to be some mental framing even if it's not fully conscious. One way around this is to draw a stick figure representing yourself, and give the figure a speech bubble and fill it in. 100% OK to just guess wildly here. Don't be afraid of hyperbole. Don't be afraid of writing down something that you know isn't true. Sometimes things we know aren't true still influence our feelings. We need to get them into the light.)

What cognitive distortions do those thoughts contain? This part is the part that really needs more explanation. You can find lists online and I suggest you look them up (or check out the book or something), I'll discuss a couple in the example.

What's another way of looking at this? You just write out something you could think about what happened instead. It will only work if it seems true and meaningful to you; this is another step where it can be kinda tricky and practice can help. My favorite hack is replacing "should" statements with "I would prefer"...somehow that always does it for me.

How do I feel now? the 0-100 scale again.

An example!

What happened? I'm having anxious thoughts about something I posted on tumblr earlier, and also it's bedtime and I'm trying to fall asleep

How do I feel? Nervous 50%, embarrassed 20%, self-loathing 20%

What were my automatic thoughts? "Everybody is going to misinterpret things and hate me and also I'm a bad person."

Cognitive distortions: catastrophizing (everybody, really?) (or maybe that's all or nothing thinking, maybe it's both, that's not really that important, the important thing is to recognize when a thought might not be true, not to understand the specific terms perfectly); mind reading/fortune telling (I'm making wild guesses about what is going to happen in the future and about what other people are going to think), labeling ("bad person"); personalization (if someone does hate me, that might just be because they're judgemental and not because I did something wrong-- in general personalization means assuming someone else's negative reaction is your fault); negative filtering (maybe the post was a good thing that will benefit someone.)

Another way of looking at it: "Well, I already posted. I can look at the post again in the morning and decide if I don't like it then. If I think it's fine then, no harm no foul, and if I don't think it's fine then, then I messed up and I can do better in the future. In any case, this isn't the right time to figure that out."

How do I feel?

You'll notice nowhere in there do I tell myself "oh, nobody's judging you" (I don't know that!) or "the post was fine" (it might not have been fine.) I don't have to lie to myself to feel better; in fact this method is all about figuring out what's true. (But also, maybe I don't have to figure out the truth about everything when I'm trying to fall asleep.)

I also don't have to convince myself I'm already a good person who never messes up; I know I mess up sometimes, and my self-esteem doesn't rest on the idea that I'm infallible. Actually, this approach is more connected to letting go of the ego entirely and just being, rather than cultivating a positive self-image. I use this example because ... idk, seems probably relatable ... and because this is a thought-feeling whatever thing that happens to me fairly often. Usually, when I look at the post again it's not as bad as I was remembering it. But also often, there are things that I didn't notice when I was posting that I really should have. (Negative thought distortions are a thing, but so are positive thought distortions where your emotions are more positive than they should be based on inaccurate thoughts. For instance, "I'll just be on here for a few more minutes, then I'll go to bed." That's a distorted thought.) So, it's a case where my feelings are both exaggerated and inconveniently timed. But also they're basically trying to convey a good message, which is that what I post can have negative consequences and it's good for me to be alert to the possibility. It's not about getting rid of all negative feelings once and for all. Negative feelings exist for a reason. It's about not having to have more negative feelings than is appropriate and helpful for the actual situation.

#mental health sequence #arsenal sequence #thought checking #thought checker #long post #mental health

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queencryo · 3 years

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hm. i should start over on that tumblr post saver. now that i actually know [literally anything at all] about webdev and web apis and shit, i bet i could do a WAY better job than my previous 'reblog 200 posts to another blog' attempt, because franlly that script sucks dick, is worthless, and i never even bothered to set it up such tjat it ran continuously (had IDEAS to run it off an rpi, but never even got ariund to figuring THAT out. jeez...)

id defijitely also want to get/make a viewer, too. because, frankly, exporting a shitton of xml or json or whatever the fuck? not even helpful at all. lame!

though, hm. i have... no idea, how to make working webpages (cuz if u cant get stuff of a certain tag whassa point)

maybe a self-contained exe that runs both the server and the client? that might not be a terrible idea

viewer levels:

literally just xml

generate a basic html file that contains all da posts

make it have css too (how?) (i dontnknow right now fuck off)

allow tag filtering based on runtime arguments (postviewer.exe -tags 'honk, fuck, kill' -reblogs false)

allow tag fiktering from within the viewer, by clicking on tags. like tumblr does jow, kinda.

search up tags, too.

would also wnana be able to capture pictures. other media forms would be good, but pictures are franjly mandatory. (i dont feel thatd be super hard tbh. download image, rename it according to the post id, have that be accessible in the folder. append a cointer for multiple images in a post)

multiple post types is a potential worry. how are dialogues handled? has the way tumblr stores / encodes posts changed since the strt (surely, right)? how are reblogs hanxled, in the code?

would probably be helpful to find or make a test blog. fkr experimentation, and testing. on a blog.

i like this idea, i feel ike its smth i could actually do AND that is actually useful. maybe i could start over christmas break. plus, if i getthis working good and reliably, maybe i could let other ppl use it, too^_^ (for showing off to irl ppl, include one of the sandsverse blogs as an example. nice and weird, but so weird it works imo? plus iirc a nice variety of post types. not so good with taghing though iirc. check that later, maybe one is betterthan the other ones.) (yeah just went and checked sandsvendor. no damn tags. cmon seymour.)

anyway. might be a good idea to slot all the posts into a database? could sort by notes and shit, that way... but it also kinda implies rails (cuz thats tje only database-oriented stuff i interact with...)

doing thus in rails feels kind of stupid. plus, load time on start? should NOT be long, prederably under thirty seconds imo. idk hlw achievavle that is with rails or an sql darabase in general, since i know my blog for example has like 30000 posts or more if u include everything. which wasnt the initial plan, but... meh.

hm. okay. so.

initial plan: save all posts on a tumblr blog with one/more of a given set of tags. eg, the set [blog, saved, later] would catch posts woth tags [blog, i hate you, five dogs] and [later, saved, i love this so much] but not [aaaaa, you you you you, two] or []. Images (and possibly other media) attached to such posts are to be saved as wrll, in a format in which they can be retrieved at time of viewing. This process must be enactable with minimal user input, beyond choosing the tags and the blog url. Posts must be saved in a non-volatile format, ie they must be retrievable not just by this program. (bare minimum)

A viewer should be included, which is capable of rendering the posts in a manner that is human-readable. Posts must have all text, tags, timestamps, and images (possibly other media) as when they were on tungle.net.

Optionally, posts ij the viewer should be sortable and filterable. Users should be able to filter by tags (and possibly also timestamps, and whether the backed-up blog is the OP of a post). Users should be able to sort by timestamp both ascending and descending (if u need to sort by anything else well nyeeeeh)

okay! so. i THINK that really the main thing that rails kr another web framework would be needed for is tgat last point, and maybe the formating. i have no idea how hard/easy adding css formatring to straight html is (probably hard lol<_<)

hmmmmmm. okay. ill be real w u here. doing this in rails feels... dumb? Im not here to build a web app.

then again, filtering by tags, sorting? those are practically what databases were MADE to do. so if i want those (and, franjly, i do!), then it may be wise to resign myself to needing to use something of that nature.

maybe i could look into what those homestuck viewer people did? thats basically the platonic ideal of what i want this to be: a familiarish interface used to sift through the wreckage of the past.

hm. well, if any of yall have any ideas, feel free to chime in! hopefulky i end up actually doing this, so any tips would be super appreciated! (esp on how to handle the iewer part <_< thas the psrt that turns this from a script to a real projext imo)

#warbling #engineering #later

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we-want-mini-mini · 4 years

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About MLB

The show has a lot of potential. That potential?Lost. Completely fucking lost. Legit could’ve been the next AL:TA but nooooooo Astruc (idk how to spell his last name and honestly idgaf) had to fucking ruin it.

First of all: why is the show NOT in chronological order???? Highkey clownery. Like what. Why. And the reason for it is: itS jUsT a KiDs ShoW—like bitch, no??????? What a dumb fucking reason. We honestly could’ve had an amazing show, w/a great redemption arc (they did Chloé dirty y’all 😔), a great plot and lore but, noooooooooooooooo we didn’t GET IT.Like god damn it.

Also, can I just say as a writer, how fucking stupid Lila’s character is? Like, in the sense that whenever she’s spewing her (obviously 🙄) lies, everyone around her gets so, so fucking dumb. It makes so sense. Also, I always kinda found how they made one of the main villains Italian kinda... 😬😬 But maybe I’m just reading too much into it. Probably am but idk.

Third: the show is getting repetitive. Like, so fucking repetitive. Whenever I watch the episodes, I fast forward so much because it’s the same shit, over and over and over again. I’m getting tired and they gotta spice this shit it SOMEHOW. Like it’s the same format every damn time: Marinette starts her day, trying to confess to Adrien (for the upteenth time). She doesn’t. Some shenanigans ensue. Someone gets hella emotional because of something and cue them getting Acumtized (I think that’s how you spell it?) and they wreck havoc. Cue Magical Girl Transformation™️™️. Cue Ladybug saving the day (with Chat usually being the one used as like, a puppet or whatever. The writers did my boy Chat dirty 😔😔). Then something something and the day ends. Maybe a sprinkle of lore, Lila, sentimonsters or some shit idk. It’s. So. Boring. But, damn, do I love the series lore and wanna know more abt the Miraculous’ ans whatever. Also the pacing is shit but that’s for another time.

All in all, Tumblr hates me (because of this gigantic ass space, what the shit Tumblr. Bitch.) ans MLB is lost potential 😔😔. Can they please give the character’s CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. For fuck sakes, all of them are so 2D at times it’s funny. But, then it’s not because oh fuck, these characters are so annoying. Please. Oh my god, PLEASE GIVE THEM TIME TO EXPERIENCE THEIR EMOTIONS FOR FUCK SAKE. Anyways, that’s it. I love this show but god damn, is it hard. I’m not bashing anyone who enjoys the repiyove nature or characters or anything, I’m jus saying, it could be leagues better then what it is now.

#mlb fandom #ladybug #chat noir #lila rossi #rant #could be better #what the fuck writers #what are you doing #please #give me character development #im dying from CRINGE #no hate jus could be better #still will watch because am maschosit or however the fuck you spell it

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mel-street · 3 years

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gif tutorial

*waves*

ok so im really really bored so imma make a gif tutorial for anyone who wants to make gifs cause i have nothing better to do

kay

1) make an account for deviant art and giphy (pretty easy not that hard lmao)

2) go find a youtube video, or any downloaded video format-y thing that you want to make a gif from.

im making gifs from a music video, so im copying the link for the youtube video

3) go to giphy.com and click on create

it should look like this

4) if you’re using a downloaded video then find it, and if you’re using a youtube video copy and paste the url in the url box

i should look like this

5) this is pretty self explanatory but

top slider= how long the gif is

bottom slider= what part of the video you want the gif to be off

6) once you’ve created the length and what you want for the gif click on “continue to decorate”

it should look like this

7) the stuff in decorate is pretty easy to use, but they’re for like memes and stuff. and you can add text later so we’re just going to skip that for now. so click on continue to upload

8) the add info part is just for if you’re uploading to the site and stuff. which you are i guess, but it’s not that important. you can also make the gif public or private and add tags and stuff.

click on upload to giphy.

9) wants it’s uploaded just download the gif however you do that and boom you have created a gif.

now onto the aesthetic stuff lmao

10) go to photopea (it’s pretty much photoshop, but free and on the web)

11) click on file, click on open, and then click on your gif

it should look like this

12) this just depends on the gif you have but mine has the black border which i hate around it so go to the little search bar and type in “crop tool” and then select the part you want to keep, and then click the little check mark

ok now that that’s taken care of you can just play around with the gif. if you want to sharpen it go to the search bar and type in sharpen, which you can do automatically. if you know how to use photopea then go for it and try to edit the gif. if you don’t go find some tutorials if you want. idk it’s not needed, but if you want it to look cooler than you can do that. (Just don’t do this step rn skip it)

13) now it’s time to find a psd (kinda like a filter) i can teach you how to make one, but like i suck at it so let’s go find one.

log into deviant art and then search psd

ok then click on one’s you like so you can see other psd’s like that, and just look for one that would look good with your gif.

i chose this one cause it matches her hair. https://www.deviantart.com/night-gate/art/PSD-119-Antidote-by-night-gate-658988835

but yeah find one you like and once you do click the little arrow to download it

now go back to photopea, click file, select open, and then find your psd. it should look like this

14) ok this might be kidna tricky, so imma try to explain in screenshots

make sure that you’ve clicked on the first file

so pretty much make sure that you have clicked on “antidote/ night-gate” or whatever your thing is called with the folder.

15) then go to layer and click duplicate into

ok then click on destination and then click on what the other layer where your gif is. mine is titled “giphy.psd*” so click on that and then click “OK”

once you do that then go to where your gif is and look at it. it should work out. and look good. my psd looks a bit off, but thats ok cause this is a tutorial so whatever

16) and then click file and then “export as”

then click gif and it should look like this.

17) click “save” and boom you’ve made a gif, put a filter on it, and then downloaded it.

now it’s ready for whatever you need it for. post it on tumblr or whatever. if you want to add text i can show you how later this is taking way longer than it should so yeah that’s it for now.

so yeah

and the psd is optional obviously. you could just make the gif and upload that to tumblr

yeah that’s it for now. hope that made some sense. go send me asks if this post made literally NO SENSE AT ALL cause im confusing

my final project (yeah the filter was a bit weird, but whatever you use will probably not leave a square-ish thing of darker light than it’s supposed to lmao)

so yup

#gif edit tutorial #gif tutorial #gifs #tutorial #psd tutorial #photopea tutorial #psds

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consultingsister-aa · 4 years

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@ericbrandonrp said: 2, 3, 6, 12, 16, 34

HONEST MUN MEME // ACCEPTING

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why? Yes and no. I’m a BIG fan of Pinterest boards for characters, ships, verses etc. and I think they can personally be a big help in my writing and I also really enjoy creating graphics and whatever else on photoshop but at the end of the day, the most important thing for me is always going to be writing. I think it’s become very much ‘how your blog looks’ > how good your characterisation/writing is or how passionate you are about your character and most of the time you’ll find the ‘popular’ blogs have very aesthetically pleasing promos and graphics but very little actual writing? Which is understandable, it takes like two seconds of scrolling and you’re going to appreciate a good graphic vs. ten minutes of reading a thread that had nothing to do with you or your character to know they can write well but I mean? The writing is the point? Unless your thing is graphics, then cool but make a graphic blog, not a writing one. So basically, love strong aesthetics, for sure, but I don’t think they’re important.

3. What current rp trend do you hate? Over formatted text in threads, my god. I’m not even sure it looks that good? Maybe, idk, I can’t read it personally, I’m zoomed in as far as I can go to even write this. Whenever I see it all I can think about is that bit in Shrek where he’s like “do you think he’s overcompensating for something?” Which is a shame because I’m sure they’re writing is good I just can’t tell.

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why? I prefer writing female characters who either through their own choice or the circumstances in their lives have had to take on very masculine personalities OR are living and working in a male-dominated world and use their feminine qualities to stand out from the crowd.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it? Ugh, so boring but no. I’ve had some falling outs and have been blocked by people bc I was friends with someone who they were having drama with but that’s as close as I get.

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why? I kinda touched on it up top but I think these days it’s a case of formatting/photoshop skills > writing skills which seems like such a shame to me. I’ve seen and written with some amazing writers and creators over the years who I don’t think get the attention they deserve because maybe their theme isn’t up to date or they don’t have the smallest icons which is dumb.

I’d also like to encourage people to be nicer but like? actively? if you like someone’s blog or character or graphic, tell them? It’s going to make their day and I think it will probably make you feel better too. I know whenever I feel down I send something nice to someone and feel ten times better. But also just? supporting people, sending characters etc. be more active!

34. Have you ever cried while writing a reply? lololol yes. Sometimes just because they are SO SAD but also for wiring dialogue I sometimes speak it out loud to make sure it sounds okay and then, if Celia is crying in it, I’ll start crying so it sounds okay or like cause I’m so caught up in how she’s feeling.

#ericbrandonrp #( i. ooc )#( i. message )

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dominicvail · 4 years

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Hey! Random question for you: How do you decide if/how you're gonna crop the gifs you make when putting together a set? I struggle so bad with the aesthetic elements of building a set it ends up discouraging me from finishing them most of the time.

I get the feeling anon, i struggle a lot with certain types of sets Still, which affects what i end up making A Lot. And i’ve only been making gifs for lol, 6 years, yikes? I tend to stick to what i Have learnt these days. But, anyway.

I mostly think that the aesthetics of what you’re giffing depend heavily on how you should decide to crop it to fit on here.

I don’t know what kind of sets you make? Because I make like, gifs of scenes very differently to something i make just for the sake of it being pretty.

I personally have preferences for what dimensions i think look best for certain types of gif sets on tumblr, i do not Usually ( i make exceptions) stray from these, and the dimensions have an effect on your cropping.

Say like, [This] set, the dimensions i used were 268x180 which is my preferred choice for either 6 gif set or an 8 gif set formatted like this and if i don’t use those dimensions, it’s because i had a good reason not to.

Typically, face close ups in sets like this look Far better than like, a shot in the first gif of that set with half of granger’s body in the shot. This isn’t because head shots look better in gifs, it’s because head shots remove a Lot of the background which is what, 9 times out of 10, is what is messing up the aesthetic of a gifset. Also, an aside, try not to have dialogue cover anybody’s face, sometimes with already close up shots it’s impossible to avoid, but if your text is obscuring somebody’s face, you’ve cropped too much off.

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Backgrounds are often messy, busy, and eye drawing. If you’re making edits just for the sake of being pretty, negative space is your best friend, i really can’t emphasis that enough. I think people think it’s what’s In your gif that will make an aesthetic set look pretty, but i personally think it’s in how you use what it Not there.

'what is not there’ also applies to shadows on negative space backgrounds, you Really need it to look as plain as possible, imo, take this gif for example;

Without edits, the plain wall behind the height chart was heavily shadowed, i used brightening techniques to remove the harshest shadows and also cropped it so the gif was thinner b/c the shadows were darkest at the far corners of the gif. It’s not a major edit, but the effect it had on the set it was in was Massive. It went from ruining the look of what was a ten gif set to fitting in perfectly and it was such a small, simple thing to edit.

Also, for examples of how different a seemingly plain background shot can look with and without editing, This;

and

(the over exaggerated white was for Aesthetic reasons, i wanted it to look weirdly coloured, the bg was empty anyway) but this same shot looks totally different when i remove the small lines from the elevator he’s in that i left there in the top gif. His malevolence levels shoot through the roof. Just simple things like that can entirely alter the look of something.

I don’t have an example of this next technique with that specific G shot, But with some scenes like the above it would be possible to crop it in as close as the second gif has been, then increase the canvas size again and just paint on the same bg colour as the bg behind him and you’d have a panoramic gif with an entirely negative space bg without it even looking like you’ve even edited it.

i did that here, kinda:

I cropped the bottom of the gif off because originally there was a Lot more mountain on it, and added to the canvas at the top of the gif, and just coloured the blank canvas the same colour as the rest of the sky and presto! i have a Ton of more negative space and it took me like a minute. You can use the same technique for width as well as height, this was just the first gif i’d found.

----

anyway i went on a tangent, but dimensions;

for 2 gifs in a set, if they’re face close ups i’ll for them side by side and like, rectangle, you can do them square but i just think it looks better if they’re higher than they are wide, i don’t always use the same dimensions for the height of these types of sets, just what i think looks best for the scene.

if it’s more of a view than a close up for 2 gifs, i’ll do one gif on top of the other, Usually if i do it like this it’s specifically to showcase a view, so i probably won’t crop the scene at all for this type, and just resize for tumblr, but if i do it will be to crop out a network logo but i’ll leave the gifs as large as i can do so while taking it off. If possible i will paint over a logo, so if the logo is over a bit of screen that’s just one plain colour it’s easy to obscure, but otherwise its a crop. If i ever leave a logo on, it’s b/c i had no choice because i Hate leaving logos on.

for sets of 4, like, dialogue scene gifs e.g. this one [here] the traditional square 268x286 is best, tbh. However, for that set there, not sure if this counts as cropping but it is aesthetic, in the show the shots were eric, nell, nell, eric. Because, in that format, doing it that way would have had them looking Away from each other in the bottom two gifs, i switched them around in the set and it looked So much better. When possible, always have people physically speaking to each other in gifs actively face each other. Sometimes this involves flipping the whole gif which i Try not to do because our brains are trained to look at these people through a backward lens, so when you flip it over we think it looks weird because very few people Actually have perfectly symmetrical faces so like, they look Wrong to us. But looking a little wrong normally looks less weird than having people insets face the totally wrong direction.

for 10 gifs, displayed 2 by 2, i will not make them as high, 10 gifs of 268x180 is too long, it looks weird, and even shaving 10px off each gif makes it look more aesthetically pleasing.

for gifs displayed one on top of the other with text over, where you have a lot of them, they look better thin, i usually use somewhere between 230-245px for each gif’s height. Like this one.

if you’re making Huge gifs like... 540x440px for Aesthetic reasons, that Can work really well but is Exceptionally difficult imo and i really can’t offer any advice or tricks because i am hopeless at it.

On of my other tricks of the trade is, when i see a scene i think will make great gifs in the caps i’ve taken for something, i will save the caps. Like, that G moment of him looking into the camera, i took caps of the scene for a specific reason, deleted the rest of them when done, but saved those ones away. Scenes with minimal background that Also contain a look into the camera are Rare, exceptionally good looking on edits, and u will never remember where they are in the show if u delete them lol. So if you find shots you love, keep the caps! reuse them! to this day, i’m the one one to ever call myself out over excessive reuse of the same shots over and over.

Also, zig zags and diagonals are more attractive visually. like, this is from my main but i can’t fine one off this blog atm, but [this] You see how i’ve made this so your eyes flow in a seamless diagonal downwards? You eyes don’t flit back and forth in 3 different directions, it has a flow to it. The first shot on that set isn’t actually like that in the show, her face was on the right side of the screen, i cropped off everything on the left, added to the canvas on the right and used the wall she was standing next to to make it less obvious i cropped it so dramatically to achieve that. You can only really tell if you’re looking for it in that one. But like, if you can crop something so the gifset has a decent flow to it, so your eyes slide over it rather than attempt to look in 6 directions in jerky moments, it helps a lot. I did the same thing with this one, [here] every gif on that is cropped into a different angle as it was on the show.

This works specially well when you have a lot of gifs in your sets, which is where the zig zag thing comes into it, like, those 2 i linked two didn’t last long enough to zig back, but if i’d done another 2 gifs on there, i’d have put it back so your eyes slid back to the left side again. Can’t find an example rn, it’s Hard to do the more gifs you have, but pull it off and it looks really good.

however, if you Can make each gif centered perfectly it looks Really cool but it’s really hard to do b/c show content just.. isn’t great sometimes. But it looks so cool.

tldr: Negative space is Super Important!!! backgrounds can be super eye grabbing and you don’t want that, choose your dimensions well, make sure you make peoples eyes flow across your work rather than dart.

idk, i hope this made sense, but making things look aesthetically pleasing is Really hard and takes a lot of work, it just looks like it should be easy, it’s not you finding something hard that other people seem to find super easy, it’s not easy, it involves a lot of tricks and editing that you Have to obscure because if it’s too obvious it doesn’t look attractive. A lot of work goes in, if i had my way i’d make mostly aesthetically pleasing edits but it’s too hard and i don’t have that kind of time. I hope this helped in some way?

#ask #anon #anonymous #editing #idk #i;m not super good at explaining things #Anonymous

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vcngttpt-a · 4 years

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ALL OF THEM. @mun meme ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

@deceptivetreat || mun q&a

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

||you are. the bane. of my existence.

☯ Is there a muse you’ve always wanted to play?

hmm ig i’ll go with canon for this one because i have many ocs, but uh i really wanna write for seto from fragile dreams. i used to have an ask blog for him back in the day but that died quickly seeing as how dead the fandom is so- but i do love him with all my heart and i would love to be able to someday write him or something

♣ Is there an author(s) that you look up to with your writing skills?

rick riordan, marissa meyer and michelle rowen. i’ve read their books throughout middle school and high school and i still find myself going back to reread their books because i just love how their words flow as well as how engaging their plots are. i honestly hope i can reach rick riordan levels of skill whenever i get around to finishing my own novel!

♧ Is there an RP partner(s) that you credit for becoming a better writer?

one would have to be an old rp friend that we sadly don’t talk to anymore since she was the first one i started writing with a lot more back in high school as well as the one who would give me advice on how to improve and just be patient with me when i go stuck with writing our threads and also mikey (@snw-cnvs) since he also supports me outside of rp’ing to get me to write actually fiction drabbles. i just wish i could finish them lmao

♥ What’s your favorite ship with your muse?

all of my ships with mikey no i’m joking lolol i really love my ship with haneul because i’ve had him for two years now and he’s grown a lot because of his ship. he’s someone whose never believed that love was real and sure their relationship is a little rocky, but they both don’t really have the proper understanding for love until waaaay later. i also really love how whenever he’s with obe, he’s able to pull out this different side of haneul, someone whose so overconfident and quick to words, becomes at a loss for words and questioning himself a lot. i just love them best otp

♡ Would you ever write a poly ship?

sure, i’d be down for it as long as our muses have the right chemistry as well as if i know both muns pretty well and if they’re also comfortable with it.

♦ What’s an AU that you’ve always wanted?

answered

♢ What’s an AU that you think just won’t work with your muse?

any au that causes too much of a shift in my muses’ personality. i’m usually willing to try any au but if it becomes too much that my muse basically becomes a different person i don’t like it.

♔ What’s your opinion on teacher/student verses? Do you have any of these as threads?

eeeeh i dont really care, but i work at a school so the thought makes me like uncomfy because i don’t wanna think about work lolol but its also like fiction and i’m able to tell the difference between fiction and reality so yea. also no i don’t have any threads like that

♕ Do you like magic!anons? Why or why not?

not really. it became too much of a thing to deal with back in the day. i just like the simple things

⚜ What is the best time to write for you? Why?

nighttime because i’m fuckin nocturnal even tho i have a day job rip my sleep schedule and ever growing eye bags

★ What type of historical AU would you like to do one day?

Victorian era, or the prohibition era don’t ask me why i like them i don’t even know myself i just know i wouldn’t mind

☆ What type of fantasy AU would you like to do one day?

all of them. i’m a huge slut for fantasy in general. its one of the best things i love the most.

☄ Do you think your muse would have liked going to high school sports games? Do you or did you go to high school sports games?

haneul: no, he’s not into those things, but also he was home schooled until he went to college

eiji: he used to play soccer in high school so yea

reese: do magic tournaments count? cause if so then yes

sage: no, i was the loser who hung out at the library with friends to sit around and read books and manga

☾ Do you like writing smut? Why or why not?

okay, if it wasn’t obvious i used to rp back in middle school through high school and on tumblr and i have done my fair share of the sin once i turned 18. nowadays i’m pretty much like eh, but ig i could try again if the need arises, but it also depends on my mood ig? i’d have to write it with someone i’m completely comfortable writing with but also even then it’s gotten to the point i’m more like ig we can just fade to black yea?

tbh i feel i got all the urges to write sin outta me when i was on my old en blog lmao i had so many smut threads on there i’m ashamed

☽ Do you like writing angst? Why or why not?

yes god i love being able to break my muses because it’s so fun. like yea it also hurts because that’s my kid i’m hurting but i’m okay with that. it’s just something that adds realness to them because the world sure as fuck ain’t rainbow and sunshine

☼ What’s an FC that you’re dying to use? Why?

i have these icons that i squirreled away for awhile now and i really wanna use them but my brain is too dead to figure out who he could work for. like he was my first thought for reese but he didn’t really give off the right reese vibes so maybe i’ll dig around my oc bin and see who looks the closest to him

or i cave and just make a brand new oc for him

☀ What’s an FC that you desperately want to play with? Why?

i’m not really picky about what fc write with tbh

☁ What’s an FC that you refuse to play with? Why?

not really refuse to play - more like i’m eh with. if only because en used to be my main chara for a long time like, i was so deep into the magical boy lore that a good chunk of my headcanons became canon. but also it just…leaves a bad taste in my mouth even more so since the drama that happened in that fandom left me filled with fear and hesitance to rp for a good chunk like before. it just brings back bad memories and i thought i was moving past it when i was thinking about using him for reese but alas. some memories don’t leave

maybe one day i’ll either get to write en again or i can use his face as fc but we’ll see

☂ How does your muse spend a rainy day? How do you spend a rainy day?

haneul: he loves the rain and he’ll spend it either under an umbrella or just sitting there in the rain just letting it wash away his thoughts and fears for a little bit

eiji: he’d spend it indoors playing a video game or playing with seto

reese: he’d prob be dumb and splash in the puddles because he likes to enjoy the little things. other times he’ll just ignore it and stay indoors either hanging with friends or studying and practicing his magic for his school’s next tournament

sage: i like to spend it just lookin out my window with my kitty on my chest. i love the sound of it against the sidewalk and streets.

☃ If your muse was cartoonized, what would their FC be? Why?

uh idk how to answer this tbh

☺ What’s a character that you desperately want your muse to play with? Why?

toshi @ haneul *stares at @snw-cnvs* and also reese @ momo *stares at @deceptivetreat* but also i just want everyone to bother my boys i love them so much.

☹ What’s a character that you refuse to play with? Why?

idk i’m pretty open for any character

☢ Are there any ships that you would like to write for one day? Any that you wouldn’t?

uh dunno. i’m open for any ships that have the right chemistry tbh just not haneul since he’s already taken

☣ What’s one thing that will make you drop a thread?

useless drama and or if i can’t seem to figure out where the thread is going for our muses. like if they don’t clash well i don’t wanna give tryin to grasp at straws. but i’m always down to try again unless it ends up the same than welp

♨ What’s a muse that you wished had lasted, but didn’t?

aaaah my supernatural brothers!!! i love them so much but they didn’t last and i’m not sure if i’m goin to add them on here or leave them in the void.

❀ Do you like reblog karma? Why or why not?

i’m gonna sound old but i don’t know what that is hold on. *googles* oh okay yea no. that seems like too much pressure to do and i have too much anxiety to do that i’m sorry.

✿ Do you have a mun FC? If so why did you choose that as your FC, and if not who would you choose?

yes. because i have so many icons it’s not even funny, but also before i got my hair cut she looked the most like me and also i thought it’d be fun to be able to tell the difference between me and my boys

see, back in the day i was the loser who would make ooc posts that included my muses and it was easy to have mun fc so you could do that and it was a lot fun, but it’s somethin i won’t so nowadays.

♪♩♫ Does music inspire your muse? What’s one song on your playlist that reminds you of your muse?

haneul: mirror part II

any of weiss’ songs work for him tbvh

eiji: rpg

reese: havent found one that works for him yet, so come back later

✂ Do you like to format your posts? Why or why not?

yes it’s all for the aesthetic

✆ Other than RPing, what’s a hobby of yours?

i love to write and draw. lmao sometimes i don’t write drafts so i can write more of my novel or little drabbles that’s for friends.

✉ Do you RP on any other platforms?

nope

❤ Have you or are you currently in love?

answered

❥ Has something ever happened for you to hate a ship? Why?

uh nope can’t say there has been.

ツ Who has been your favorite muse to play so far? Why?

haneul, eiji, lifty and shifty, and en

han and eiji because they’re both my ocs and it’s so much fun to see them develop and grow their characters more.

en because i was able to write a lot of different aus, headcanons, and just develop a canon character until he pretty much just became my own character

lifty and shifty were my roots. i started in the htf fandom and had so much fun writing those lil shits. it was just my go fuckin crazy shit. i still have their icons and their old blog is still up and i do kinda miss them some days.

回 Which muse was the worst to play? Why?

i used to have an oc named harley who was a living doll and i haha came to hate him because i made him around the same time i created haneul and i always loved haneul because i put a lot of effort into him and not much in harley and i got annoyed and jealous that back then everyone seemed to love harley more him. so i pretty much tossed him to the curve adfhsdkfjh

sorry harley but you were also hard to write because you were too sweet and cliche for me

✘ People come in a group. If I were to look on your blog, who would I see you interacting with the most?

@snw-cnvs and @deceptivetreat

ღ Do you have a personal blog? Do you share it with your followers or do you keep it private?

nah i haven’t used tumblr in years until now. i do have one but i don’t use it so idc it’s called @shouyoutheworld but again i don’t use it it’s…v old

▼ Do you keep your character in character even if they are one of the worst people in the world?

yes. what’s the point of writing and creating said character if you’re gonna sugar coat them?

▽ Why did you create this muse?

haneul: i wanted an oc who was really jaded and brat. i wanted to see him grow into something more even if its difficult

eiji: i pretty much wanted a muse that i could dump all my useless game infos on

reese: i wanted a witch oc who had a rival that they both hated their guts for and eventually fall in love I’M SO RR Y THAT’S REALLY WHY HE WAS MADE FORGIVE ME BUT NOW I DEVELOPED HIM A LOT MORE FOR RP’ING PURPOSES BUT Y’KN OW

#﹝저자 — ooc ﹞#﹝저자 — answered ﹞#aah #that took forever but there we go #i was gonna say fuck format but uh #i gotta fix the readmore line #so ig i'll do a quick formatting change #im just glad #i got no kids to deal with at work #otherwise id do this at hime

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badnewtattoo · 6 years

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the gang makes paddy’s great again- thoughts.

i wrote this whole thing and then tumblr refreshed and i lost it.. this is why i use mobile. these are basically my overall thoughts and feelings on the episode with as much intelligence as i am capable of. i’ve never been one of those people who writes long analysis of iasip or anything, this is as close as we’re getting. also if you can’t tell already, i absolutely love meellisday.

-i can’t believe they all had sex with the doll... especially my boy charlie kelly i mean i expected it from mac (duh) and frank is kinda gross but... my boy, pls

-i don’t remember what i already wrote here because this is my second time doing this becauseeeee it got deleted

-there was more positive content i swear

-i liked cindy and the fact that she radiates pure evil. she was really weird, man. she was strange, i am a fan. i hope she comes up in the future here and there suggesting that they do more freaky shit and acting like a groupie for success.

-ok my biggest problem was the dialogue of this episode. there were a lot of cases of things just being straight up repeated? there was a line that dee said out loud at the dinner table and then repeated under her voice as a kind of ad-libbed chatter type thing and that was rough for a show so strong historically with its talking over each other scenes, improv, and fast dialogue. the jokes about mac banging the sex doll were ok to be repeated, i guess, but they kept making the same jokes about him with the exact same words and tone. in fact i don’t really get why they made the “mac is having sex with the doll” joke so often. since they all ended up having an orgy with it i rlly think there was a missed opportunity, they should’ve made fun of him for having sex with it after it was confirmed they all did because there could’ve been a moment of “..... wait but yall arent any better.... the” does that make sense? it does to me? like i know they did make a comment about it when dennis got back but it was a missed opportunity to not point out the irony.

-the storyline was not good. or the whole liberal tears thing was just very strange. it felt like they abandoned the show’s usual character driven aspects for the sake of driving the plot. they went with a humorous plot i guess but no jokes were made about the liberal/conservative thing from the gang so therefore it wasn’t funny? the gas scheme and the garbage schemes, for example, wouldn’t have strictly been funny on their own or excecuted by different people but they were good episodes and were funny to me because of the gang. the door to door song, the misspelled sign, the entire ridiculousness of the limo. maybe the plan was meant to be very run of the mill and unimportant because cindy was running it, like schmitty, but it was weeeeiiird and i think could have been done differently in a way that would have more positively impacted the story and overall episode quality. the labels, for example, could’ve been much better. my favourite part was the strip club and their interactions there, i wish there had been more of that vibe. also i think there was more to be done with charlie fighting the sex doll.

-dee didn’t have sex with the doll so ha, go 2 hell incest supporters

-dee was pretty great in this episode actually. the only thing i disliked was her reason for wanting cindy gone being that she felt that she wasn’t special anymore because there was another girl. that was kinda dumb and i would’ve easily accepted had she just decided to go back with the gang without any reasoning. it doesn’t seem like dee to hate on another woman like that without reasoning, sorry if i’m wrong i really don’t know shit. it just didn’t sit well.

-the waitress!!!!!!!!!! i love her!

-ok so i think mary elizabeth is a great person and is also a very good comedic actress. she’s on santa clarita diet (i literally went through the show just to watch her) and i’m not even being biased when i say she is really good on that show. she’s so talented and funny on that show and shines in a way over there that i never really felt she did on sunny. not by any fault of her own but i don’t think the writing for the waitress has ever been all that interesting or with potential to stand out. i like the waitress because although she thinks she’s better than the gang and then charlie she is so obviously just as garbage as them but also has that quality of being just about the most mundane person on the planet. what i’m getting at here is she deserves better writing and could be as iconic and funny as all the other side characters and i think finally bringing her down to living with charlie could be a really good change for her character. you still have the potential for delusions of superiority, similar to how mac thinks people like him and thought he was straight or how dennis thinks he’s a lady’s man, the waitress similarly thinks she’s better than these people while being a garbage person who uses charlie and is now literally living with him. she’s always been pretty similar to charlie (more so as it’s gone on) but tells herself that he’s worse and again.. now that they really are in the same living space and are more clearly placed beside each other in the eyes of the viewer, i hope she can have more coooool and exciting story lines. hope that wasn’t too repetitive. i just want everyone to know how funny and awesome she has the potential to be and she deserves shining moments that characters like cricket, maureen, and the mcpoyles get. etc.

-hearing charlie kelly call the waitress “honey” and “sweetie” is so, so weird and again, that’s a testament to how good they are at acting

-also i wish they’d addressed the pregnancy thing they were going for (she could’ve at least been annoyed at him that it didn’t work out or whatever) and it didn’t make sense to me that the season 12 finale saw charlie as being uncomfortable with the waitress expecting a relationship with him and this episode didn’t see him as really annoyed or uncomfortable, or at least it seemed to be at a different degree and from a different angle. how charlie treated her was a bit similar to how he treated dee in rules the world but i wish the waitress hadn’t been at all submissive? like she slept with the sex doll and was being funny/rude about it?? i wish she had been that way the whole time or at least more significantly? i get that the joke was that she now was desperate like charlie had been but i can’t say it was done all that well or consistently, from my perspective? i wish they had more fighting and banter and whatever. idk man.

-they said it was their apartment so i kind of wonder if frank is still living with them?

-also i felt like there wasn’t enough frank!!!!!!!!!!!! he was hardly there. i also missed the charlie/frank dynamic. if you can tell by this point,,,, i am a big charlie fan.

-but yeah the first thing i noticed was a lack of frank. my deal is that it felt as though the gang hardly really interacted within themselves? everything felt pretty impersonal. usually there’s scheming and yelling and really fast/smart dialogue but it felt more plot based and focused on getting across a specific set of events as opposed to thoroughly being true to the characters. the sex doll orgy felt out of place and these stranger elements of the episode reminded me of the ski episode and flowers for charlie in the way that they were detached from how i recognize the gang’s personalities. yes.

-dude!! i missed dennis! i didn’t realize how much i would want dennis back until he showed up and started doing that thing where he makes black and white judgements based entirely on personal preference. like in charlie rules the world at the end, i love that stuff.

-i actually think dennis was the most true to form in his character, my only things i’d change would: i’d add in a “move past it” in his explanation of his return, i’d make the bird thing more natural, and i’d have him be more protective of the 80s (that was the insult, right? she said he dresses like the 80s? anyways we know den loves that shit pls)

-mac was cool too! as i said earlier i wish they’d repeated that joke a wee bit less but aside from that i absolutely loved the mac content because he doesn’t always get the best stuff to work with. rob, as i’ve said before, is truly underrated for his performance as mac because the character is so easy to read. mac is very easy to understand as someone who craves validation and easily speaks his feelings while also have distorted versions of self, though that seems to be going away (with the coming out, the obvious truth of him being ripped, and him straight up asking if they like him) which is really funny because instead of him being wrong about who he is and being oblivious, everyone else is oblivious about him because he used to be?? yes, her. though he’s still a denial ridden dumbass in many ways, now the gang is in denial about his apperance. anyways rob killed this episode and i hope people come to see that is equally as distinctive as charlie and dennis.

-i really did like dee here, as i said earlier. she was also rather true to form. no complaints, and i like how she seemed more integrated into the gang. i love when they all work together, or at least work with dee, and everyone is equal and none of them continually put down dee. that’s way more fun.

-alright i think this is all i have to say for this episode? it seemed pretty foreign to sunny’s usual formula and reminded me the most of “flowers for charlie” in how it definitely strays from how what i view as a normal episode for the gang. there were good enough moments but it isn’t going to be one of my favourite episodes of the season. i really hope they don’t fall into the same hole arrested development did where they once would reach a conclusion every episode and stick to a format which changed in the 4th season for sure. i am ok with change but i hope not much is sacrificed. anyways, i am still a fan and am anticipating the rest of the season still! yes i’m aware that this is overwhelmingly negative but every negative i have for any sunny episode is usually leaps and bounds better than episodes of pretty much any other show.

#sunny 13 spoilers #s13 spoilers #iasip 13 #my post #long post #sunny spoilers #idk what else to tag sorry

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ezgiglc-blog · 5 years

Text

introduction post ☆

First things first, idk how to make one of these so i will be dividing this introduction post in 4 parts for it to be much more easier for me -and you.

Get in losers, its gonna be a looong ride (and post)

Hooope you enjoy!

1) Who the hell am i?

I am Ezgi (meaning “melody” in Turkish ) I am, well, Turkish (much surprise) and 16 years old ( i mean almost 16 )

In classic Tumblr fashion i am an ENFP, a ravenclaw, thunderbird and also a pisces.

I love love love drawing and music is a HUGE part of my life.

Here are a few examples of my drawings in low quality format oopsies

I was a huge bookworm who lost the passion of reading when i had to switch to more “mature” books but i feel like i have been getting it back lately!

I am interested in cinema, poetry in all things beautiful buttttttttt i am in no means informed about them, just trying my best to have them more as a hobby. (Swear to god im not the tumblr ideal girl who is intellectual and all god i wish i was lol)

I am also into interior design and 90s fashion (wanted to add these in the mix)

I am in way too much fandoms to count but you should know about Harry Potter, PJO and probably all the good sitcoms in the universe.

This, down below, is a few weirdly formatted pics of my face :) ( the middle is the most recent and accurate one )

Andddd that’s who the hell i am!

2) What the hell am i here to do?

Actually i have no clue on this either. I like the whole studyblr posts and community and how it is very positive and improving but i am too much of a mess to call myself a studyblr, i never stick to just studying and my grades are well...lets not talk about them.

I want to post my drawings, study notes, reviews, thoughts, selfies, tips and everything here. I just want to use this as a blog, a lifestyle blog maybe? I love how after growing a following, people here love eachother for the dysfunction that they are and just become friend without judging , kinda feel like that’s what i need!

If you for some reason find me and what i do interesting, just follow me and give me a chance and we’ll both see what this blog turns into :)

3) Who the hell am i but this time overly personal

Woah, now we are off to the fun part! (not)

I want this blog to be %100 me and %100 honest (check the username ;) ) and what better way to do it than to get into awkwardky personal details!

I have what i like to call “sad snowflake syndrome.” A snowflake syndrome is someone worrying about being different and individual because they think/fear being normal is boring and/or want to be remembered as a person who did something different or unusual. They want to be interesting. Surprise surprise, i have that. But what may be a bit different is that while %100 believing this, i usually feel like i am alone, *too* different, and even tho i am not a genius or a very eccentric person, something about me does not fit in at all, and that is a saddening thought my friends.

I am extremely extroverted and i am going to be honest with you, i am more of a popular person. That’s because communicating with people is what gives me energy to get through the days, weeks, months and years. But i also feel like i am the most introverted extroverd because the idea of always getting in touch with people sounds like hell to me. I need to be alone, in touch with myself and reflect. I am my best friend.

Music. It is everything to me. I am kind of talented in it ( i have a good ear ) but i quit playing instruments a few years ago because classical music is not my cup of tea at all and no teacher wanted to teach me something else. For me, music is %60 lyrics and i am very drawn to emotional songs or songs with clever/personal lyrics. Music messes my emotions so bad ( i cried my heart out watching Bohemain Rhapsody ) and i was lucky enough to see my favorite band ever, Imagine Dragons live! (Lots and lots of tears)

I like to look at myself as a smart person (finished middle school as the first of my class) but ever since starting high school, i have the shittiest grades, i feel bad and no matter how much effort i put in, nothing seems to work so it’s all anxietytown in my brain.

Woah woah that’s enough.

4) Conclusion

So sorry for the long-ass post but i wanted to start this account off right. (Annoying, too honest,kinda interesting and one hundred percent me)

If you liked what you read for some reason, just follow me, like this post or say something nice! (i would love that) or just message me and let’s be friends!

That’s it, if you read all this, you are a true hero, see you in later posts!

Oh also the real reason i added conclusion is cause i hate odd numbers sorryyyy :)

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liyuesbian · 3 years

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Ok tumblr decided to erase half my ask so here we go again 😔

I kinda forgot about ei’s friends after her teaser dropped ngl 💀 you are so right that they should’ve been there, like how both Zhongli and Venti’s quests had a “let’s pay a visit to our dead or dying friends” arc /hj in hindsight I also wish there was one of those cool 2D PVs for Ei as well hhh it would be Epic to see her three friends like that!! Ig they thought it was covered by her teaser/demo or something? Since that had way more lore than usual, idk though. still hoping for a second quest about her hh

I’m kinda the opposite about lore digging but it’s probably just me lol, I tend to read lore in game only, but don’t have many of the artifacts/weapons that contain the lore I want to read. But disregarding that, I still want some of the worldbuilding to be put in like a story quest or something, since it would be interesting to see what other characters think about the stories in the artifacts and stuff (do different mondstadters have different opinions on their history? What do they think about the white knight or the gladiator? Also I wanna see Eula interacting with the noblesse oblige set. same with Liyue folk and all the Morax Legends lol. I digress tho)

Big same with the La Signora gripe. Shame on me ig but I didn’t read the crimson witch lore before I did the quest so the spoilers I saw didn’t mean much and there was no shock value during the big reveal in quest 💀 yeah I hope we’ll see or hear about her in Snezhnaya!! Her side of the story would be infinitely more interesting (pls not another artifact set tho-)

About Xiao, Ganyu, and Zhongli: this is why fix it fics exist I guess 😔 I’ve adopted an AO3 fic’s retelling as my version of canon (or at least something the traveler didn’t see)

Mm true it’s strange because I think he said thanked the traveler for being his companion while he was testing out his human life at the end of the archon quest (iirc) maybe it’s just because Liyue’s supposedly a big city so one new person doesn’t really matter to most people (fhdksd if something contradicts this, do tell) I think the fake death was still kinda necessary, at least for normal people to accept that Morax is Completely Gone so that the Qixing can get ultimate authority and total acceptance/respect (that npc who said Zhongli will always be in true control since he’s a god and the Qixing are mere mortals and stuff), but agree to disagree 😌 they’re all shady in some way in the end

I saw you are on genshin twt how is it 😔 (sadly I am on it too but I hate the timeline format because I keep missing posts) the amount of discourse of “whos bad, good, which problematic characters and ships need to be canceled”, and the amount of dissing that goes on there scares me

LITERALLY YOUR 2ND TO LAST PARAGRAPH that was what was missing from the archon quest. Where is my group effort guys?? I missed seeing the resistance… I hope the people speculating Kokomi gets a nice story quest are correct and that we’ll actually wrap up the loose resistance threads there… (also a lot of people are saying morally gray Kokomi? Is there any canon(derogatory) basis for that? I’m just curious because with the way things are going I feel like she’s going to be purely nice dhdkskf)

Im so sorry I think these just keep getting longer and longer aaa anyways, signing off! -mystic

noo i hate it when tumblr does that :((

(2.1 spoilers)

LMFAOOO maybe friendship is not magic after all ahaha but srsly, i agree w you i also want a 2nd quest for her !

ah that's fair enough if u don't have all the artifacts. and it would be easier if it was told to us through a quest of some sort. hmm i never thought about that 🤔 it's a shame that there's so much lore and the genshin universe is so beautifully worldbuilt but players will only notice if they personally read through the archives etc. and go out of their way :( hmm yeah maybe like a historical back-to-the-past type thing with the three clans and they all interact with the noblesse set? or even just diluc/eula/jean tbh

ah i read the lore for crimson before but i didn't remember it fully during the signora part so i had to read through it again after. the way it clicked in my head when it said "crimson witch of embers" and i was like ".....wait a minute....." AHAHA and it was only after that her lines during the fight like "don't call me a witch" or smth made me :'(((( the pale flame piece too 😭 sad hours

yeah at this point, the fanfiction writers should take over the genshin writing lol jk jk

mhm i guess the fake death would've been better and easier for closure ! (and woah u remember so much! i can't even remember that npc... it's been so long 😔 haha)

ah i think on genshintwt i'm usually more on the good side (? if u can call it that lmao) i do see quite a few discourse on ships, western vs. eastern fandoms and other yikes stuff but for genshin, it's mostly art that pops up on my timeline :] i follow wayyy too many artists but they're all so talented and they make such pretty art it's so 🥺 oh do you mean ur timeline isn't organised by latest posts first? if it's not, i can share how to make it that way!

yeah the resistance... :(( mhm! i was rly counting on a morally grey kokomi !!! LMFOAOO THE "canon (derogatory)" took me OUT PWAHAHA (i may reuse that quote ;D) that idea was mostly based on ayaka's last sentence (was it in the 2.0 archon quest?) where she said smth along the lines of the resistance having ulterior motives... and also how baal and co. defeated orobashi, the god they worship (like maybe kokomi was out for revenge?) but no sigh she's ur average good person :( idrc either way but i rly wanna see a morally grey female character where they appear good but are actually super dodgy and evil, that would be chef's kiss. but yeah, after that quest, she's definitely gonna be purely good :')

#ngl i actually rly love reading ur long msgs (and long msgs in general!)#it kinda reminds me of when i used to write penpal letters :<#and they way u sign off aw it's so cute and rly adds to the penpal-like experience LOL #btw sorry for the late response !#phi rambles #answered

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the-enby-bird · 3 years

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Hoo boy. This took waaaay to long to write. Mostly ‘cause I couldn’t think of a name for Killer, but whatever.

So, Tumblr isn’t letting me upload my digital art. Great. While I figure that out, I figured I’d write down some more solid ideas for that one human multiverse I made. I’m considering calling it Wipedverse or something, but I kind of want a name more centered around what I have planned then what happened to get here? (and it’s just kinda a dumb name-) Idk, I’ll just call it Wipedverse for now, sorry if somebody already used that somewhere. This is copy/pasted from google docs, so my sincerest apologies if it doesn’t format properly.

Anyways, here’s the backstory and some basic info on this multiverse and it’s inhabitants. It may not make sense, since I was just yeeting a bunch of ideas on a google doc and hoping it makes sense. I might rewrite this later, since it’s pretty late at

~~~

So basically the idea of the universe is that everyone’s turned human, and genderswapped. (Okay some of them ended up as trans men because I couldn’t imagine them as women but shut up-)

What happened is Ink and Error were fighting in Sci’s lab, and Ink blew something up. At the same time, Sci was working on a potion to allow someone to change their magic composition to be that of a female’s. I won’t specify who, but it was an outcode. But that’s not really important, so I’ll just leave you to speculate.

After the lab explodes, every AU jumper* gets put in the body of a human female, and in order to prevent mass chaos, Fate wipes everyone’s** memories. They all wake up in the anti-void with no memories besides their new names, roles, and a deep hatred for the other side. They also remembered the basics of who they were related to and such- so Dream and Nightmare knew they were siblings, but had no memory of a childhood of any sort. So that was kinda awkward. The bad guys also remembered sort of ‘I f***ed up, I’m evil, I deserve hate’, although they weren’t sure quite why, or what they did. They also still maintained some tendencies that their originals had- Blue loves cooking, Error likes to crochet, Horror is afraid of starving so cooks a lot. So the Stars and the ‘Evil’ Sanses wake up in separate parts of the void, figure out how to leave, and start exploring. A few of them like each other just based on first impressions, and stick together, others opt to split up. Weaver (Error) gets attacked by Slate (Ink), and Twilight (Nightmare) saves him. Weaver decides to stay with Twilight, he was still slightly shaken and felt safe around her. Similar things happen with the others, except for with Tee (Cross), who had just stuck with Twilight in the first place.

* “Every AU jumper” means anyone who actively AU jumped. So Ink, Error, Nightmare, Sci, Geno, Reaper, Dream, Red, Classic, Blue, Outer, Cherry, Horror, Dust, Cross, Killer, and side AU jumpers who aren’t major in this story, people like Abyss Sans or Error 404, and Core Frisk***.

** ”Everyone” means literally everyone in the multiverse.**** So nobody knew who the creator or destroyer were, or that multiverse theory was even correct. In fact, all the universes underwent a true reset, and even the Sanses didn’t remember the previous timeline. Any Sanses outside their own AU at the time were turned into outcodes. So most of the major Sanses and Papyruses are now outcodes. (Classic, Red, Edge, Comet, etc)

*** For anyone wondering how Core Frisk was able to be changed, I imagine they were originally gender-neutral, so they just became a female, and aged up to be an adult.

**** I take it back, Core Frisk remembers, but knows it’s for the better that everyone else doesn’t know. This is important to the story.

Extra notes on the backstory-

The OG Ink and Error died. Slate and Weaver aren’t just versions, they are completely new people.

Some of them instantly decided they didn’t like the feminine pronouns, some took longer to realize this, and some were fine with this. More in the character bios.

They did remember that Fate exists, and that she was their ‘boss’. They also remembered things like, “oh I’m a god” (or “I’m not a god”) and how to use magic. It was also remembered that Twilight wasn’t always corrupted. They didn't, however, remember the balance, just that they had to do this job. Which does, yes, mean that Twilight and Spark didn’t originally know they were siblings. This was figured out when Twilight did some snooping around and figured out they actually were biologically related. (Less actually biological and more their magic is connected? It’s hard to explain.)

~~~

A little about the people-

Error= Weaver (He/him)

Nightmare= Twilight (She/her)

Horror= Bean Spike (She/her)

Dust= Ghost (She/her)

Cross= Tee (He/him)

Killer= Scar (She/her and she abuses her femininity to be the biggest flirt ever but when people try to approach her they just get stabbed. Usually by Twilight)

Ink= Slate (She/her)

Dream= Spark (He/him)

Blue= Cya (Actually Cyan, but he hates that name.) (He/him)

Reaper=Grim (I’ve seen this name used for his brother, so to clarify, his brother is called Ebony. Not that that’s important) (She/her)

~~~

Ships! This section does sort of include spoiler for the actual story I’ll write, but it isn’t written yet so that’ll be a while... Sorry. I also plan on making new ship names specific to this multiverse, but for now I’m just using the regular ones.

To summarise most of this: For an empath, Dream is really sh*tty at telling whether feelings are mutual and forming healthy relationships.

A reminder that these are the canon ships and you can ship whoever you want, these are just the ones that'll be featured in the story.

Past Cream (Cross/Dream)

One sided Drink (Dream/Ink) (Dream was the one with a crush)

NightKross (Nightmare/Killer/Cross) (The best ship)

Horror/Dust/Blue. (Haven’t seen this ship before, but I thought it’d be interesting- a hongry boi, a chef, and a chemist, or a happy boy and two sad boys, there’s just so many possibilities and this makes me so happy-)

Errorink (I don’t usually like this ship but I felt maybe I’d enjoy writing it here?)

Dream/Reaper (This idea popped in my head at two in the morning and omg I love writing this so darn much-

~~~

Sorry if this was bad but I wanted to post something.

This is mostly for my own benefit tbh, I keep changing this up every five minutes.

#info sheet #ref sheet #sort of #I've gotten like two hours of sleep in the past three days so this may very well just be nonsense #undertale multiverse #undertale au #alternate multiverse #i should go to bed #Yeah i'm definitely going to rewrite this later #I'm too lazy to tag #might do it later

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tidefated · 6 years

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Note; I get that this is a reblog and fill it out form but I actually? Hate that so I’m reposting but I was tagged by @oceanfoamed and here’s the original form for ya’ll <-- leaving Holmes’s commentary here

In general:

Real name: Skyler

Nicknames: Bun / Sky

Age: 22

Sexuality: *insert one of my usual schrodinger jokes here*

Prefered pronouns: He / They

Are you a morning person?: I can be, but it depends on how my life is rolling at the time. Lately I like to sleep in more than I like mornings.

When swimming, do you prefer to do it in the ocean, or in a lake?: Ok full disclosure? I am so goddamn landlocked I have seen the ocean twice in my life- well, 3 times, but the first I was too young to remember, I’m just aware I was there, and must have seen it. I’m so landlocked, that the nearest large bodies of water ( a terrifyingly polluted lake and a terrifyingly polluted river ) are each a two/two-and-a-half hour drive away. I have seen the river when driving over it, and the lake at a distance because we were told to stay off the beach and I was like... 11? My ability to swim is pretty pathetic- I’ve apparently got all the motions right, but I perpetually forget to actually breath when I bring my head out of the water- like my body just fucking refuses to do it. So uh- short answer, I guess, is I don’t have enough experience to have a preference, and either way it’s probably not smart to let me do it unsupervised.

On Tumblr:

Anyone you would like to meet in real life?: Now that Mani is on my side of the ocean, @seafaired is someone I hope to see before the year is out, if I can arrange travel expenses accordingly, also @apcgee promised to go to a Broadway show with me.

Anyone you have met in real life?: I spent like 2 months-ish living with @oceanfoamed, but otherwise not yet!

When did you first join? How old is your current account?: Uuh- I think I joined the RPC in like 2012? Idk we were all still using big gifs and formatting didn’t exist yet. This blog’s original form was made back in December/January 2017/2018, and was just remade ( better ) literally last month. So pretty shiny new.

Any peeves?: I mean basically all the stuff Holmes listed, but also whackadoodle formatting with lots of weird spacing and capitalized words and.. and... and... ugh guys people have?? Vision problems?? I am dyslexic fam you are not making my life any easier.

Unpopular opinion: TBH Malakh covered this really well in his version of this post, with the comment on purity culture, so uh. That. All of it. <-- that, but also throwing my own on here so as not to be a total copycat: You don’t have to write with a million people to be a successful RPer? Your worth is not measured by the number of your threads or partners. You can write with 100 people, you can write with 30 people, you can write with 5 people, you can write with 1 person, and you are still valid and worthy of respect as an RPer because this is about having fun not pressuring yourself beyond your comfort. That was a lesson hard learned for me & I feel it’s very important for everyone to remember.

Feelings:

Do you easily get jealous?: Jealous, no- insecure, sometimes. I’m very aware that no one is obligated to write with me or anyone else? No matter what? But there will be times I doubt myself when others come around and that is- fairly natural I think? So I may withdraw until I can isolate the source of my own insecurities and smush them, or reach out for a little reassurance.

Do you easily get angry?: Under very particular circumstances.

Are you easy to cheer up?: Sometimes? Sort of? Usually when I get upset I only experience the actual upset-ness for a short while, and go straight to numbness- how long that lasts is pretty dependent on how effectively I can distract myself- but there’s only so much another person can do to distract me.

What’s the most hurtful thing someone could do to you?: Why the hell would I tell the internet? Ok but no really continuing here why would this be on a meme why would anyone even ask this?? Like- 80% of the people on this hellsite have trust issues they won’t own up to so like what is the point lmfao??

What’s the most hurtful thing someone has done to you?: One time my cat came to lay next to me like the sweetie he is, except instead he trotted across my face and sat exactly 2.5 feet away. >:

Are you good at hiding your emotions?: Probably, considering I’m not sure what they are half the time.

What’s the very best way to cheer you up?: Change the topic or use animal gifs. <--- same. Usually I need time to emotionally separate myself from an issue so that I can revisit it later- dealing with it in the moment is almost never a good idea- so the best thing to do is get me buried in basically anything else.

Relationships:

Are you currently in a relationship?: Nah- did that whole commitment thing for a little over 3 years and it kinda wrecked me mentally, emotionally, and physically haha. I’m not wholly opposed to the idea of dating, but long-term relationships are pretty far off the radar atm.

Do you currently have a crush on someone?: Nope. I adore lots of people but my heart doesn’t do the squeezy-plunk for anybody.

If yes, might that someone be reading this?: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do you kiss on the first date?: Errm... I know this seems to contradict the committed relationship thing mentioned above but.... I’ve never actually been on a date? That said, I don’t see the problem with doing so? I mean I’ve kissed people I’m not even attracted to bc we both decided to go ‘what the hell’, so it seems fine to me to kiss someone I am attracted to without a fuss.

Do you prefer going out, or staying home, when it comes to dates?: I had to think about this bc like Holmes I hate leaving my house but also the idea of inviting someone in to my house when I’m already out of my depth sounds like an awful idea cause it might destabilize my safe space.

Things:

Favorite drink: Water, some chai tea, frozen matcha, and lavender lattes specifically the way I make them at work.

Favorite food: Mmm any food that doesn’t make me sick is good food. Bonus points if I don’t have to cook it.

Most calming place?: Anywhere I can curl up and not be interrupted by humans while I dick around on my computer / anywhere I can sit in peace and quiet with a book and not be interrupted by humans or noises ( bonus points if lots of nature )

Most stressful place?: Anywhere that has more than (1) human I do not know intimately well. Any place with more than (4) people I know intimately well. <--- Holmes I feel called out

Most prized possession?: Laptop, as I cannot say my cats- but my Slytherin cloak from HP world cuts a close second, along with my vv old hardback copies of the HP books, which were gifts from my great grandmother when I was growing up.

Tag five people (if you want to):

✗ @apcgee

✗ Anyone who wants to do the thing should steal it like the pirates they are cause Holmes tagged all my other people or they’ve already done it.

#OOC | ignore the man behind the curtain #munday | reality knocking

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septicquest · 7 years

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CALLING ALL ARTISTS!

Attention: This is not a Septic Quest page. Rather this is just an announcement that relates to why I have not been posting here for such a long time. idk what will happen to SQ after this and idk how far this thing is going to go. I won’t blame you if you hate me for being hesitant on the matter or if you unfollow me for such an action. But if you do want to participate in this new project of mine, I will love and appreciate the shit out of you even after I die, I swear. Please don’t hate me. Thanks.

So I’m sure ya’ll are aware of this web series thing I’m doing called “Allister & Melody” right? With all the voice acting and the original story and music and stuff? Well if you didn’t know and you’ve been wondering why I haven’t gotten to doing things like Septic Quest and Jacksepticeye, there’s your answer. It’s cuz I’ve been working on an original story with...pretty much everything I just mentioned.

If ya’ll need a little hint about what it’s gonna look like, - here’s a link to the promo. -

However, I have hit a slight dent in the road. Here’s the story.

So who here was here from the very beginning of Septic Quest? You know, like BEFORE Jack started reblogging some pages?...I see a few hands out there. Well anyway, I made a HUGE mistake when I started making this comic. What was it you ask?

I was working on it ALONE!

Which is probably the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.....okay, maybe not the biggest, but it was a kick in the ass nonetheless. You see, this comic was supposed to be a really really REALLY long story. Like, it had three volumes worth of story. Don’t get me wrong, I love every moment of this story and I wish I could get it out to the world somehow someday, but right now just isn’t the time. However, it is still kinda cannon to the story I’m currently writing. (and don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you can’t accomplish anything big on your own, it’s just really really hard on your physical and mental health if you bite off more than you can chew. Especially if you’re someone like me.)

Why am I telling ya’ll all of this? Well....honestly I’m not really sure myself. idk if I’ll continue the story as a comic or if I’m going to hand if off to someone else anytime soon. My mind is actually focused on Allister & Melody at the moment. So if ya’ll really followed Septic Quest specifically for the Jacksepticeye story, this is pretty much goodbye for another long while. And ya’ll can stop reading at this point and go off on your day. Thanks for listening. ^^

...Still here? Oh cool, hopefully that means you care. Thanks! Although I’ll warn you a second time, from this point on it’s all an announcement about Al & Mel and how I need help on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STILL HERE!? Man, you’re persistent...I like that in you. ^^

Alright fine, no more nonsense. I NEED HELP! I’m on a hunt for awesome artists and/or animators for my thing. I’m hosting an audition for artists to join my rank to make this story come alive! ....uh..speaking of story, maybe I should explain that first before I go any further, shouldn’t I? ^^’

Ya’ll remember Allister, right? He was that tall guy dressed in black in the SQ comic? Leader of Tutopia? Right, that guy. Well that’s him right in the middle of the pic there, and this is him AFTER Septic Quest.

The story is he’s stuck on Earth for unknown reasons (to the audience that is) and is forced to live on Earth with humans and limited powers. Along the way, he meets a young little girl named Melody (the little cutie blond dressed in green) who is strangely an angel almost just like him! Except this little girl is being hunted down by an organization called the Child Protection Agency (CPA) where they take care of lost kids in the streets. Lately, they’ve had their eyes on her because of the powers she has. Allister, being the only one who has actual knowledge of her powers, sees it upon himself to take care of Melody and keep her from any humans who may want to take advantage of her. Along the way, he meets some strange new friends as well as old enemies, and shenanigans ensue thus creating an opportunity for a little show to create!

So there ya go, that’s the synopsis of what’s going on. Now for info on the show itself. Like you saw in the promo (if you clicked it, if not, here it is again), it’s going to have original everything: original voice acting, original score, original animation. But it’s not FULLY animated since that would take WAAAAY too long for just one animator. This is where I need help. I made the mistake of not asking for help when I first created Septic Quest, and so I don’t intend on making that same mistake here. If any of ya’ll are interested in being part of this project along side me as an animator/artist (and/or if you’ve got nothing better to do), this is an opportunity for you!

However, this IS an audition. You are going to have to live up to my standards of art in order to be on this team. You won’t necessarily need to learn how to animate. You’ll mostly need to know how to draw some....complicated poses. All of the art is gonna be done like you see in the promo. I figured that was just the easiest way of doing this. Also, this is all voluntary work, so unfortunately you won’t get paid....I probably just lost a bunch of you just saying that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So here’s what you’ll need!

1. Pen Pad/tablet (or whatever you wanna call it) 2. Any GOOD art program you own, like Photoshop, Flash, SAI, ect. Stuff like MSPaint or sketchbook drawings won’t due. If you draw on a mobile device, I’ll have to look at it and approve it cuz that’s always up in the air. 3. A way of exporting files/images to me. A lot of this pics I’m going to want in PNG format, but JPEGs are also fine in some cases. 4. A Skype or Discord to keep in contact with me just to make things easier. If you’re one of those younger kids who have parents who don’t trust you on the internet (you know who you are) then PM me via however you can, weather it’s through this blog or my main blog, my twitter, my DA, my email (if you can find that one), or anywhere else I guess. But preferably, I would like to have you on Skype or Discord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you have these things and you’re STILL interested in helping out, well then here’s how you’ll audition.

The way you’re going to be animating this is I will either give you a shot or a character or even a whole scene to animate depending on where your skills lie. You are first going to give me 3-5 pics of your best art as well as a pic or two of whatever character you want to animate (choose however many you want from the pic above). If you can draw that character well, then I’ll add you to the team. If not, don’t feel bad. I’ve got a special place for ones who try ;)

After that, there’s gonna be more info about how I’m going to separate ya’ll into drawing what. There’s gonna be deadlines for these things, so be prepared for that world of pain. In fact, the deadline for your auditions will be sometime after I get back from Bronycon (August 11-13) where I’ll be part of a panel featuring a sneak peak of the first episode all drawn by me. You can submit your auditions through tumblr submissions cuz idk how to work other internet things that involve submitting things. Submit them with your contact name and who you want to draw. It can be as many characters as you want.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, just a brief review of auditions cuz I know I’m gonna get questions later:

1. 3-5 pics of your best art. 2. One or two pics of whatever Al & Mel character you wanna animate (can be as many characters as you like. *refer to the pic up top*). 3. No MSPaint or sketchbook picture taken images. Only good digital art. 4. Have a Skype or Discord for contact purposes. 5. Submit to my tumblr @luximus with your pics along with your contact name. 6. Deadline is August 19. I’ll give several heads ups along the way.

If you have any more questions, ask me on my main blog. DO NOT ask in the Septic Quest blogs cuz these are unrelated to SQ. If you do, I won’t be able to answer them for you, so you have been warned. (watch as it happens anyway -_-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

aaaaand I think that’s about it. Don’t be afraid to submit your stuff early. The earlier, the better! Thanks for listening, happy drawing! ^^

#not a page #announcement #Al & Mel #spread the word!!!

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thestuckylibrary · 7 years

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Welcome, new mods!

This week we’re welcoming five new mods to help deal with the workload of thestuckylibrary! In a new move, us librarians are telling you, the readers a bit about ourselves. Get to know your mods a little better!

Mod Karin

I’m a biro ace from Canada. I use she/her pronouns. Melancholic, a dog person, asthmatic. I’m an Art History student in my early 20s. I’m definitely an Academic™, I love research, medieval art, early renaissance art, most 1850-1945 art, talking at length about things that interest me and,Scifi and fantasy, historical fiction and writing about things. I have Beef with Greenburg.

I started shipping stucky in like mid 2013 after I binged all marvel movies in a single night after being dragged to see Iron Man 3. At that point I wasn’t into the tumblr side of mcu fandom and just read the few fics there were on AO3. However, that all changed after I saw TWS. Full tilt mcu tumblr multishipping since April that year and I haven’t looked back. I joined the library June 2015 and have been modding ever since, albeit with a bit of a break summer 2016. It made sense as a move to me- I love fanfiction, tend to mostly read stucky fic, love organization and giving recs and have experience with the idea having worked in libraries for many years.

I’m also a traditional artist. I usually work in pencil, pastels or charcoal but I occasionally work in acrylic, oil, ceramics and ink. I make fanart, you can check it out on my fandom blog @samthebirdbae! My specialty is Bucky’s glorious long hair.

Mod Annie

what’s up i don’t know how to use the cool drop down description kinda formatting bc i suck at tumblr also i hate using caps for anything. I’m a bi 18 (almost 19) year old from texas. she/her pronouns. I’m a figure skater and dancer. basically the best description for me is just child of preserum steve and natasha, as im actually very russian but im like 5'1 and have a list of health problems as long as my arm. you may or may not know me as that one black widow cosplayer who met sebastian last year and asked him to choke her. kinda problematic, i know, but also highkey awesome even though i definitely would not repeat. I’m currently not in school although I’m debating between possibly going into massage therapy or cosmetology. I was homeschooled and I grew up in like The Most Conservative christian home so i wasn’t allowed to listen to music or read books or watch any movies unless they were pre approved by my mom, and she was picky with even the stuff from the christian book store sooooo,,,, i didn’t really get into marvel or music or ANYTHING until i was about sixteen and i was finally allowed to use the internet and have a phone but after i finally watched the cap movies about a year and a half to two years ago I immediately fell in love and started shipping stevebucky. as I am a history NUT ofc my fav era is 40s pre/mid war. it’ll definitely show in my recs. I do write as well but i switch back and forth between stevebucky and harry styles fics and rn i don’t have nearly enough time to do either one between work and sports. (I am out rn over a knee injury that might end up requiring surgery so idk. maybe I’ll get The Time.)

Mod Blue

Hello, I’m a librarian from Belgium and the best part about my job is helping people to find what they’re looking for or to answer any question they might have to make their day a little easier. That goes from helping them find books and articles to helping them figure out where their class room is or how they’re supposed to make copies and prints. I’m delighted that I get to do a little more of the same here at the Stucky Library.

Mod Dee

hey friends~ my name is dee, i’m 21, and i’m from new zealand. (she/her.) i’m a history and mythology nerd and know a little too much about booby traps used in the vietnam war? oops. (i promise it’s from fic related research.) i have three cats and four dogs and a niece and they’re all like. the lights of my life tbh. i’m not currently studying, though i’m toying with the idea, now that i’ve found somewhere that actually offers creative writing as a full degree.

i started shipping stucky quite recently, like, probably early-2016, after i abruptly left my main fandom, and saw CA:TWS for the first time. it was like my eyes had been opened, and it was pretty magical tbh. i’ve been into marvel for a lot longer than that (since like 2012, i think) and ngl, my first love was tony stark. (do yall get leavers’ hoodies when you finish high school? we did. i got “stark” printed on mine in place of my own name. little did i know, that was only the beginning of my ventures in marvel fandom.)

within fandom, i’m a fic writer, and pretty much everything i write is au. (which u can find on my personal @jjjakesully if u so desire lmao) about 90% of what i read within fandom is au as well, because i like the idea of “no matter our circumstances, i’d still find and love you in each and every lifetime” and wow that sounds gooey but you get the point. this isn’t the first rec blog i’ve worked on, so like i have seen things and little of what you ask is going to shock me lmao.

Mod Julia

hi, guys! i’m julia (she/her), 24, english teacher from brazil. always tired, always anxious, always crying about stevebucky. i have a deep love for books and tiny fluffy animals.

i read my very first ever stucky fic the night after i saw catws at the theater. in an ~unforeseen turn of events, it totally took over my life. it was love at first ‘mistaken identity’ story, and i haven’t looked back since.

i’m also a fic writer! i’ve been writing for this pairing since 2015, and you can find all of that on my tumblr @hawkguyz. i’m particularly fond of AUs and tooth-rotting fluff. :D

#mod post #it's been over a month but hello!#it's us!

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peppersbian · 4 years

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9 August 2020

Say two of trying to journal every day lol. It's 2 am ish. I'm trying to go to bed earlier since online school is starting soon and my current sleep scheduLe is ass.

I'm also trying to establish like a routine of talking abt my thoughts every night before I go to sleep because I feel like part of the reason I don't go to sleep is cause I stay up laying I bed thinking about shit and feeling bad and not haven't any sort of outlet for it.

I find myself actually not feeling like complete and utter shit for once which is surprising. At least, in the scale I'm usually operating on. I feel like my scale is usually like

borderline suicidal -> shitty but bearable -> neutral

Haha how fucked up is that. I'm just having trouble actually enjoying things lately it feels like. Even playing fire emblem or other games just feels like a way to occupy time and isn't like,, fun? That's not really right because I do enjoy it and love it and it'll makes me feel good but "good" on this scale is neutral. It's nice tho not just laying in bed wallowing in my own shitty feelings.

To be honest I don't really know what I wanna write tonight because I'm kinda okay right now. Last night I write about my dysphoria bc that was one of the things most tearing me apart but it's far from my only issue. Not to mention, my real issue is all the shit with Oliver and Evan but god I don't wanna get into that because it'll probably put me in a mood and idk if I'll really be able to solve it by writing for another hour.

Honestly it's just kinda hard to sit and chew on my thoughts because this state of goof neutrality is sustained by not addressing my problems and I really don't want to break it.

I'm frustrated and the situation with The server is really not going up end until I kinda sort through my own shit. Because even after like a week of having the server muted and minimally interacting I still feel like shit and hate it there and interacting.

I think a small furstartion I have is that I have to be the one to slog through my ahit all on my own. And that it feels like no one really gives a shit about me enough to stick with me. I feel like I'm really just some accessory or sidepeice to take care Ofer entertain these children. Unpaid babysitter hours. I've tried to distance myself from the "therapist friend" because thats a shitty and unhealthy relationship dynamic but they don't even alwnoedlge that and if I were to tell them they'd just get all sad and whiny or like "Aw I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel that way" without actually understanding the toll it's had on me.

No matter how much I talk or try and explain my feelings or opinions it feels like no one understand me. And it's frustrating. That I have to cater to everyone else and sidestep my needs and feelings for other people's comforts and understanding. God it's fucking frustrating especially with Evan and olli. Emotionally unintelligent and mouthy. They really gotta stick their noses in everything but never actually do anything of value.

I hate even looking at their names. I know I hate talking to them and seeing them on tiktok it Instagram but even just looking and wrong out their names makes me feel shitty. I don't really want them to turn into another sarah Bc lord knows I don't need another sarah but god do they make it hard to like them. I haven't even talked to either of them in like a week because I hate it so much and yet all this fucking resentment is finally kinda just boiling over and they're so frustrating.

I don't really want to get into it right now. Because I don't want to ruin my mood and it's also been about an hour and I want to get this posted.

I think that's one think I like about this format is that is very final. I write my thoughts and a post. They're not just tucked away in my drafts forme to see and dread later and it's not in a wierd enough place like notes or docs that I get anxious other people could see. Funny how a public tumblr provides more privacy than other things. It's just me claiming my own space I guess. I think establishing these boundaries and safe places is healthy.

God I hate using those words. Makes me sound like a creep. A tumblr creep who gatekeeps and fakes and has no life or god fuck you know what I mean. But I guess I have to be therapist Jess for myself and those are the fun and sexy clinical vocabulary that fiancés yourself from any actual emotions you feel. Bluh. Makes me feel bad again for not having any friends and only having myself. I just want someone to take care of me. Or just care about in general I guess. But I think that also would require more vulnerability than I would like.

That's kinda the paradox Ig. No one can take care of me like I can but o can't provide the sense of belonging and love that someone else can. People are falliable.

Ugh that's another think j hate sounding like. Some pretensions mother fucker. But I'm not explaining shit to anyone just emoting? Still hate sounding like that though. I just can't win. Everything feels like a loose loose no matter what choice I make. Eugh. I feel like I did ruin my mood. I'm just kinda down. No longer that nice neutral. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. Good night. Lol

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