#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reobabesstuff · 1 year

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Cuddling with blue lock boys

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Characters: Sae itoshi, Rin itoshi, Reo Mikage and Nagi Seishiro x G!n Reader.

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Sae Itoshi

You have been craving for some attention from your boyfriend who was busy looking at the screen. You scooted closer to him and hang your hand on his shoulder.

He didn't response to your presence beside him. You pouted and hugged his arm. He still doesn't pay attention to you. And that was enough for your attention instincts.

You grabbed his arm and bit it.

The man shrilly yelled, "the fuck? Y/n?". "Why aren't paying attention to me?" You tilted your head side and looked at him with your puppy eyes. "Am I annoying you?" You huffed.

"of course not! The hell?!" He shrugged. "Then why aren't you cuddling with me?? I need them!" You pouted while clinging on his arm. "Couldn't you just ask me for cuddles?" He looked at you.

"I— you know how much I love CUDDLES??!" You blushed. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. You quickly placed your head on his chest hearing his soothing heartbeat. Your eyes closed as you surrendered in the warmth.

"Y'know, sae, You're the best" you mumbled rubbing his hand softly. "Your cuddles are the warmthest". Sae softly stroked your hair. "I know puppy, I'm the best" He kissed the top of your head.

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Rin Itoshi

You had an argument with Rin, that was the stupidest argument in the whole history. You knew you said mean things to him during argument. And you felt incredibly bad for that. But you could just not go to him and apologise.

He was mad at you and you deserved it. But you couldn't sleep without his warm cuddles. You tossed on the couch finding the best posture to sleep. But missed his warmth. You had many apologises in your head.

You inhaled and stood up from the couch and headed towards the bedroom. You slowly opened the door and peaked inside. You saw Rin sleeping with a pillow in between his leg. He looked extremely adorable and you missed his arms. But looking at his face brought back harsh things you said to me.

You couldn't find courage to do as you planned. You went back to the couch. "Guess It will be a long night" you signed and hugged the pillow. The pillow was just good. But Rin was a way better cuddler. You somehow went to sleep, the sleep wasn't a good one.

Then, you felt warm around your body. You snuggled into whatever that was. Your lips curled into a smile.

Rin saw you coming into the bedroom, stare at him and then leave. He knew you can't sleep without cuddles. He was mad at you but... He couldn't stop himself to check upon you and end up bringing to the bedroom and cuddle.

You snuggled into the 'pillow'. You felt something holding you close. You opened your eyes to only see Rin in front of you. "Rin?" You looked at him. "You are only here because you can't sleep without cuddles..." He said in a cold voice. "I still need an apology" he added.

Your heart couldn't hold in anymore. You hugged him and cried. "I'm so sorry, Rin" you sobbed. "I said mean things to you, I would never say those things ever again" you sniffled. You slowly away from him and looked at him with your puppy eyes. "Forgive me...please?"

Looking at your teary and puppy eyes, Rin forgave you. "I fucking missed your cuddles" you buried your face into his neck.

"I'll make sure you never miss them again" he mumbled and placed a kiss on your forehead.

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Reo Mikage

The sweat purred down your forehead. You had a terrible nightmare. Your eyes were wide open, you were scared. You brought your legs to your chest and hugged them. You tried to comfort yourself but that was just not working.

Then you felt the mattress move as you felt arm around your body and pull you closer to them. " A nightmare?" Reo asked. You nodded.

He placed a soft kiss on your shoulder, "it's okay, I'm here for you... Don't worry... It was just a bad dream" he mumbled comfort things into your ears. You soon felt a bit relieved. He gently stroked on your head. Giving you a soft kiss on your cheek. You tangled your legs with his.

He was a human version of comfort for you. He would always hug you, stroke your hair, give you kiss whenever you had a nightmare.

He cupped your face and wiped your tears, "Okay now? Feelin' any better?" He smiled and gave your lips a peck. You nodded, "A lot," your lips curled into a smile. He noticed your hands shaking, he held them, "You are such a bad liar, Y/n" He kissed your hands.

"If you are okay then why are your hands shaking?" He rubbed his nose against yours. Well the truth was you didn't want to bother Reo. You have already ruined his sleep a lot. He keeps worrying about you. Just because you're too scared, like a coward.

"tha—thats..." you stammered. He kissed you softly. "That's okay, darling ... I know" he whispered.

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Nagi Seishiro

Nagi was playing video games on his mobile phone, obviously that's what he does. You were wearing his hoodie which was way too big for you but it had his scent.

You sat on his lap in between his legs on the bed, "what are you playing?" You asked. "Among us....thats— i wasn't the imposter! They still ejected me?!" He was pissed off. "Excuse me, you are an imposter" you said.

"Y/n, I wasn't ! That's the yellow was the imposter they won't bel—" You gave him a peck on his lips to shut him. "You don't spend time with me. I'm craving for cuddles." You crossed your arms. "Is my puppy mad at me?" He wrapped his huge arms around your torso. "Course I am" you huffed.

He rested his chin on your shoulder, "another game" he looked at the screen. You rolled your eyes. You stood up from his lap but he held you and pulled you into his lap again. "Where are you going?" He trapped you in between his legs. "Stay with me" he grabbed your hand and kept it on his head. "Com'on pet my head." You flattered and gently pet his head. His soft white locks rubbing against your fingertips.

He nibbled his nose into your neck. "you call me puppy and act yourself like one" you said. "I can even bite, Y/n" he whispered. "And looking at you in my hoodie..." He kissed your cheek. You were flustered. Avoiding his actions your gaze fell on his phone screen.

"um Nagi, someone killed you" you pointed at the screen. "well shit, I guess..." He kept his phone a side. "It's time to do you" he pulled your closer and playfully bit your cheek. "Ow, Nagi!" You giggled.

"you're so mouthful" he mumbled.

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#nagi x reader fluff #sae itoshi x reader fluff #rin Itoshi x reader fluff #reo mikage x reader fluff #blue lock x reader #blue lock #sae itoshi #rin itoshi #reo mikage #nagi Seishiro #Sae x reader #rin x reader #nagi x reader #reo x reader

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itaehynz · 8 months

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the way things go. — c.bg

pairing: choi beomgyu x gn!reader x choi yeonjun.

genre: fluff + angst (kinda)

warnings: some lyrics from ‘the way things go’ by beabadoobee.

summary: it’s been two years since your heartbreak. he comes back to apologize but it’s too late.

part 1 | part 2

it’s been two years & your life has been falling nothing short of happiness. you’ve been the happiest you can be and you sort of thank beomgyu for that, without the breakup you wouldn’t have realized your worth.

you’re worthy of having friends outside of your relationship, being in touch with your family, going out with friends without feeling guilty.

even though, after the breakup you did fall into a sort of depressive state, knowing that beomgyu and your bestfriend were the only sort of consistency in your life. the only people you felt like you had. but that wasn’t true, no it wasn’t. they were holding you back.

now that it’s over, you’ve blossomed into a beautiful, social butterfly. making new friends wherever you go, bagging job interviews wherever you went. actually no, you’ve bagged a job already!

it pays amazing, you enjoy working there, amazing co-workers & one of them seem to have a little crush on you. let’s just say, it’s not unrequited… you have a date with him tonight!

his name is yeonjun, he works in the upper level but you always see him in the morning at your local cafe & you two always end up walking to work together, ever since then you’ve two hit it off. he’s a sweetheart, you enjoy speaking with him and he’s extremely good looking.

so as of right now, you’re at home to prepare yourself for your date. you didn’t dress up or anything because yeonjun said he wanted to start off small.

he’s supposed to be picking you up at 8:30. it’s 8:20 and you’re already dressed, sitting down and watching tv. you’re relaxing before he arrives but you hear a small knock at your door. pausing your show, you walk over to your door unlocking it and being faced with an all too familiar figure.

“beomgyu?”

“hi y/n,” he says.

“what are you doing here?” you question him, blinking in confusion as it’s been nearly three years since you’ve last seen him.

there's so much left to say.

he clears his throat, preparing for what he came to say but he’s slightly unfocused. you look perfect, your hair is styled differently than usual, and there are no longer exhaustion bags under your eyes.

was he the cause of your change? that shouldn’t even be a question, obviously he was (in the worst way).

“i… i came here to say sorry. for two years ago, i gave up on our relationship and instead of just breaking up with you, i cheated on you with your best friend. i’m really sorry y/n.”

you aren’t shocked that that’s what he came here for but, you didn’t expect it to be now.

i guess i'm just the bigger guy,

“i already forgave you, beomgyu,” you sigh, “forgiving and forgetting. it’s all in the past now.”

he looks shocked to hear your answer and he opens his mouth to reply but he hears your elevator ding behind him, turning around to see who it is.

you peek out of your apartment to see who he’s looking at and smile in response, “hi yeonjun!” you say, which causes beomgyu to look back at you in confusion.

i'm happy now, i ought to let you know

“hey y/n! who’s this?” he asks as he reaches out to shake beomgyu’s hand. beomgyu shakes his hand hesitantly with a small smile on his face.

“oh, this is beomgyu. he’s an old friend of mine,” you reply, looking up at beomgyu once again. “no worries, he was just leaving so we can be on our way in a few! let me just finish speaking with him for a moment,” yeonjun nods, going to hug you and then walk back to the elevator.

in my mind, you always stay the same

you turn back to beomgyu sighing, “i’ve moved on beomgyu, your apology is long overdue and i’m over it. it’s best you get over it too, if you’re not already.” smiling gently before reaching inside your apartment for your jacket, “see you.” you say as you leave out of your apartment, closing the door and walking away from beomgyu as you walk over to yeonjun with a bright smile.

and i don't mind that that's the way things go

beomgyu stands there as he watches you hug the so-called ‘yeonjun’ once more, sadness glazing his eyes. turning away to walk down the stairs with his hands in his pockets, coming to the realization that you’ve actually moved on.

oh, i guess that's just the way things go.

but hey, he’s the cause of it and all he can do is blame himself. he wasn’t good for you and you were too good for him, that’s just the way things go.

++ author’s note: hi guys! as i’m coming to the end of writing the long awaited ‘i can’t remember to forget you’, i decided to finish up this draft. it’s the sequel to my latest beomgyu fic & i hope you guys enjoy reading this as someone did request a part two!

++ tagl: @boba-beom @bucketofhiros @yeofy @n0-thisispatrick @hyukafied @hyunimylove @luvsoobs @choiwrld @majestyjun @tyunkus @belovedxiao @h00nerz.

++ networks: @k-labels

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neetclown · 11 months

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This is the song, please support the musician!

I am normal about TMOSTH and my AU of it. This one got original art again because I am a bit silly about them. In case you dont know my au, you can like read a whole breakdown of it here!!! But it’s a sort of "what if the dart was lethal and Espio accidentally becomes a murderer" type AU

"What is this edit about specifically?" This:

So, during that explanation of the au on another edit I talked a lot about how their relationship from IDW (and also Archie) plays into this, where Espio has this sort of dislike for Sonic during the metalvirus arc and fully blames him for it. Obviously he said that because he was really distraught about losing his Team, but still. Their dynamic is that of people whove been friends for years, but one of the two is more antagonistic than the other. Its the sort of dislike that you cannot really justify to yourself (Espio). Sonic on the other hand sees Espio as his buddy, though he sort of knows theres negative feelings there. Nice guy as he is though, he tries to mend their relationship. Both sides force themselves to act a specific way to be a good friend, despite the bad blood. Espio just kind of swallows his feelings and tries his best to play along (he is not very good at it, if this edit is any indicator) and Sonic overplays his friendship and walks on eggshells to apologize, in a way, without ever addressing the situation.

Both genuinely want to get along like they used to, but they never address the elephant in the room and their clashing feelings often end up making the other one feel worse. Sonics overly friendly and forgiving manner makes Espio feel like a piece of shit for even disliking the guy sometimes and Espios reserved and asocial behavior makes Sonic feel like an asshole for making the guy act like this in the first place. So nothing ever gets resolved!

One time when they had a big confrontation about how Sonic deals with enemies and tries to give them a second chance if they can be reasoned with and Espio said "where is the cut off point? When does someones crime become unforgivable?" And Sonic responded with "We forgave you Espio." (A reference to his betrayal in Archie). Espio didnt respond to that, but he walked away wishing Sonic was dead. Just for a second. Just one intrusive thought that he shook off immediately, but it still made him feel terrible.

And then Espio kills Sonic and everything comes crashing down.

#my art #art #my edit #edit #sonic the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #tmosth #tmosth au #au #the murder of sonic the hedgehog #the real murder of sonic the hedgehog #sonespio

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bisexualnathanyoung · 9 months

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Just an idea of a WIP. Idk if it’s better to give context or not. Feel free to ask questions or tell me how you feel. Louise and Mel were having a longer conversation, but I didn’t write it yet.

Mel & Nathan, 928 words, tw for homelessness, babies, prison, strained relationships

Unedited & posting from mobile

“I don’t know,” I said, “I guess I already loved him too much to let him keep sleeping in that community centre.”

“What?” She responded, quieter than before. She was already upset, but that type of upset seemed like it came from a place of anger. A place of disappointment. A shield of slight aggression that wouldn’t show how worried she really was. Her face shifted when I said that though.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” I responded, trying to stay as neutral sounding as possible, but maybe my voice shook just a little. The last month was so hard and so scary, and it felt like there wasn’t a single day I could get through without crying.

“He was sleeping in the community centre?” She asked, her voice concerned.

What I wanted to say was Yeah, you dumb bitch, why are you acting like you give a fuck now? Maybe if you’d cared enough then, he wouldn’t be in fucking prison right now. He wouldn’t have needed to live with me. Fall in love with me. Get me pregnant… I bit the inside of my lip as I watched my happy little baby scoot around on the floor next to me. I was holding back tears. I was always holding back tears. It’s worth it. It’s all worth it. Nothing else matters.

I ignored Louise’s question and asked, “Can you watch Ro while I take a shower?” I hadn’t taken a shower in three days, and I was constantly covered in spit and sweat and tears and whatever the fuck else.

“Yeah, of course, love, anything,” she responded. She’d warmed up to me a lot more than I’d warmed up to her. I didn’t know if she ever forgave me for the way I talked to her, and I never apologized for it either. I didn’t forgive her for how she acted when she found out I was pregnant. I didn’t forgive her for anything she’d ever done to hurt Nathan, but maybe, it wasn’t mine to forgive. Regardless of how I felt about her, I think she saw some of herself in me. Our relationship was… strained, even after she finally met Rowan.

But once Nathan got in trouble… Once it was just me and Roey and a flat I could no longer afford… she took me in. She treated me well. My relationship with my own mother was so damn complicated, and now I just had one more to throw on top of it.

I tried not to think about it as I carefully stood up from the floor. Ro looked up at me, and I stood up against the wall and let Louise distract her with one of the toys on the floor.

I slipped out of the room. I didn’t even shut the door. And my daughter started wailing. There was probably something developmentally that I should’ve just kept going towards the bathroom. Maybe it would helpful to teach her little brain that Louise could calm her down and that she’d be okay when Mummy isn’t around. But I couldn’t just leave her with Louise.

I walked right back into the room, probably faster than I meant to.

“I can handle her,” Louise said sweetly while she gently bounced my baby, “go take care of yourself. It’s okay.”

“Please just give her back to me,” I said, sounding more like a whine than a request. She didn’t protest.

I held my baby in my arms and rubbed her back, “it’s okay,” I said, “it’s okay. Mummy’s here. You’re okay.” She calmed down as I held her. I sat down in a chair next to the wardrobe, close enough for me to open. Her books were stacked on a box at the bottom of it. I’d gotten her a small bookshelf, but it was in storage now. In storage with my old bed. With my sofa. With my table and chairs. With my desk. With years of artwork. With most of Nathan’s clothes, and most of mine too for that matter.

I didn’t want to think about how we’d had a little home out of that two bedroom flat for a few months. If I knew we’d (I’d) lose the flat, I would have just stayed in the old one. My little one-bedroom council flat that I made my own, my refuge from my mother, the one thing I’d saved up for. Where I fell in love. Where I gave birth to my daughter.

But it belonged to someone else now, and in a few short weeks, I’d have a new one bedroom flat with a surprisingly large bedroom. Big enough that I almost didn’t feel bad that Roey didn’t have a nursery because there would be enough room for all of her things and all of mine. Ours. It’d be somewhere nice for Nathan to come home to. Only two more months, then three months community service. We were going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

“Let’s look at a book!” I said, taking a cheerful tone, doing anything to distract myself.

I stretched over to the wardrobe, holding Roey in my lap, and grabbed a board book.

“Book!” I repeated, setting it in front of us. She had gotten pretty good at her bu’s and her mu’s and her oos and aas.

I read the title, then paused as Louise stood up and gave me a smile. It felt like she pitied me.

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything,” she said.

“Okay!” I responded with a smile, trying to lift my own spirits.

It was okay. Everything was okay. It had to be.

#this is called Ry hurting their own feelings #my writing

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libbytwq · 2 years

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Leave Me Be (a poem)

I know that you're unhappy

With certain things I do.

But you don't have to do this

Because I haven't done it to you.

I may be incompetent;

I'm not without my flaws.

And you are keen to remind me

With your sharp, imaginary claws.

Sometimes its not my fault,

But you make it seem the blame's on me.

You can't say sorry, you can't forgive

Maybe you aren't right for me

But when I'm just chillin

And you aren't on my mind

You just have to do something

To stab me from behind

I'm tired of your bullshit.

I'm tired of your lies.

I'm tired of wasting nights where you

Made me sob ugly cries.

I don't know know if you noticed

But your actions have consequences.

If you don't stop now, right here I vow,

I'll force you back into your senses.

You pushed my tolerance a little too far

Past the point of no return.

You think I'd forgive you once again?

Let your stupid wishes burn.

I forgave you once, forgave you twice

I can't do this again.

You broke my heart, I fell apart

I thought you were my friend.

I understand you've dealt with shit

And that you are depressed

But you can't treat me like shit

So you can feel your best

I'm not a tool, I'm not a can

To mess around and kick.

I'm just a mere teen

who when her friends are sad, that makes her sick

I can't deal with you no more

Don't mess with all my things

I know you did the thing you did

There is no use lying

If you ever try to come back

Begging for forgiveness

I'll kindly decline, cuz honestly,

I can't fucking live with this

I've felt guilt, I've felt depressed

Whenever I'm next to you

But somehow my other friends

Don't make me feel like poo

They care about my feelings

They care about my health

But looking back, you made my life

A literal living hell

I've made up my mind on who I want more -

Can you tell which is which?

Oh look at that - I chose kind weirdos

Over an insensitive bitch

I'm sorry if I made you sad

But honestly I don't care

Cuz I haven't felt overwhelming guilt

Looming in the air

They may not like my hobbies

But they respect what I do

They also understand my feelings -

More than I could ever get from you

I'm sorry if this is not

how you want our friendship to end

But honestly, you shouldn't care,

You have other friends.

You don't seem to hate them

You seem to hate me more

They seem to like you just fine

What do you need me for?

But please don't be petty

I haven't mentioned your name once

Can you please leave me the fuck alone

You pathetic petty dunce

I apologize for name calling

But this needs to be said

Now can you please just leave me be?

You're screwing with my head

I used to want to like you

But now I don't give a damn

And if you want to try again

I don't think I can

You have proved yourself unworthy

To care about you myself

Frankly, you are toxic

And bad for my mental health

I might miss the memories

Of random joys we had

But it can't balance out the weight of times

when things were downright bad

It may not seem like it to you,

But to me, you're really mean.

Now don't be a bitch about my feelings -

please just leave me be.

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Just some emotions I'm feeling rn about an irl person i know and something that happened recently

I won't explain but this is a serious thing I've been feeling so

#poemsbyme #poetry #poem #literature #vent poem #vent poetry #god im so pathetic lol #dont worry guys im okay now i just got reminded of something that made me feel like shit

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automatismoateo · 1 year

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Several days after a head-on collision, I now realize I am an atheist via /r/atheism

Several days after a head-on collision, I now realize I am an atheist

A few days ago I was driving home from a job site in my truck (thankfully) on a two-lane road. A guy who was approaching the opposite direction cut into my lane and caused us to have a head-on collision. His passenger told him to turn into the parking lot and he took the direction literally at that very second rather than first judging on-coming traffic (me). I burned rubber, crushed the front of his car and ended up halfway in a ditch.

As soon as I confirmed my head was still attached to my neck I threw open my door and was cursing up a storm that he was a lucky sonofabitch that my kid wasn't with me, etc. But when he got out I realized he was only a kid himself (16 years old)- not high or a drunk. The atmosphere did a 180 from me losing my cool to making sure he and his passenger were physically fine as well. He was sobbing about his mistake and the fury in me just... deflated entirely.

Suddenly, I was doing everything in my power to assure him that it was only a mistake. I apologized for all of the nasty shit I shouted when I was looking for a fight, gave him a hug and spent the latter half of the whole ordeal giving him a pep talk and making certain he knew I did not hate him. This kid knew how badly he fucked up and was scared to death about the entire thing (sobbing "I am so sorry" over and over) and I was not about to pile it on him, too. Insurance could take care of the nitty gritty; I just wanted him to walk away knowing I, as a parent, forgave him the moment I saw him exit his car.

I have lost no sleep and very little of my routine has been impacted. I still have a slightly stiff shoulder but no bruises, no pain, and my family is fine. They weren't there and I am grateful they did not see the state of the vehicles because it looks more frightening than the incident actually was.

But a woman at the scene said something that instantly pissed me off as I was lugging my toolbox and receipt book out of my truck so it could be towed:

"We were praying for you!"

My hackles rose up. During the moment I managed to keep my cool and did not acknowledge it like I could not hear her. But I keep hearing that one sentence rattling around in my head and every single time I think about it I keep getting pissed off. I could not put my finger on exactly why until today when I realized, at no point, was God or heaven or plea for safety ever on my mind at any point during the entire incident or aftermath. I never thought "God/Jesus help me" or "I hope I go to heaven" or even "Goddamnit".

And why was it so easy for me to just forgive the kid but Christians claim god had to send his son to die on the behalf of sinners. Why the fuck would I ever send my daughter to be tortured and nailed to a cross just to be 'able' to forgive someone. According to Christians, God "made" us. How is it I was able to forgive someone I did not even "create" without all the hoops but God and Jesus had to do a bloody tango and, even then, the forgiveness still requires groveling for it first?

On a personal level I have always been skeptical of religious claims. I suppose I considered myself 'undecided'. I did not bother with religion myself and was only aggravated with evangelicals and their homophobia and hypocrisy.

But with that stupid sentence rolling around in my head, spoken with the best intentions I am sure, I have been thinking "Praying for me? Praying after the fact, knowing you could see everybody was already safe and going home to their own beds tonight? What an absurdly easy way to claim some active participation for yourself and your God with no actual effort involved..."

It is no different that the other thousands of times I have been irritated by useless platitudes. But this time felt different and I think it is because I finally have the word to describe my position on the existence of gods: atheist. I do not believe in a god. I did not feel it necessary. The universe has order unto itself. Vehicular accidents are a normal occurrence and correspond to the described physical laws. Sometimes they are deadly. Sometimes they are not.

I see no gods in any of it.

I also feel strangely at peace about it, too. I don't know how common that is but it is as if all the puzzle pieces have fallen into place. This is a world in a universe that exists. I cannot honestly claim to know anything beyond that and I do not know how anybody else's "knowledge" or "feeling" that a god exists trumps my own feeling that there is not one.

I hope that makes sense. Anyway. Hi ya'll.

Submitted November 07, 2022 at 11:08PM by SZRothrock (From Reddit https://ift.tt/AHQlM63)

#reddit

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crazypaperwasteland · 2 years

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Bloodlust

Word Count: 1.6k

(PLEASE FORGIVE MY SHITTY WRITING, this is not proofread, it is just something I whipped up at eight o’clock at night and wanted to post. And I apologize for not updating for a while, I’ve had a lot of work to do with school and a lot of drama I needed to deal with recently.)

(Y/N) was still a fairly new vampire in the Cullen family, as far as new goes, which was actually a pretty long time when it came to vampires. The Cullens had met her in England when they lived there for a time in the 50’s. She was a very timid woman who gravitated more towards Jasper than any of the other Cullens.

Jasper had been dealing with the worst of the bloodlust, so being around a human woman so much was not very…. helpful. But he tried his best, and for a while, things were good. They were better than good. They had fallen in love. Obviously there were tough moments where Jasper thought he was undeserving of her, or that he would lose control of himself and accidentally harm her.

Jasper had insisted for many years and on multiple occasions that they should end their… thing. But she always managed to convince him that they were right for each other, and that he would never hurt her or do anything that could scare her away from him. And that remained true, there was nothing, absolutely nothing that could make her leave him. Even death itself.

Until one day in the early winter in 1959, Jasper had killed her, making her a vampire. It was years before he forgave himself for it. But when Edward met Bella, the two of them had many questions as soon as Bella learned what they were. Which (Y/N) and Jasper were hesitant to answer because while fifty or so years was half of a human lifetime, it was but a blip in a vampire’s existence, making the wound still fresh.

Edward had come to Jasper as soon as he met Bella, as soon as he had smelt her blood, spoken to her and decided that she was the woman for him.

“Did you ever… forgive yourself?” Edward asked Jasper. Making his adoptive brother raise a brow at him, “when you hurt (Y/N), did you ever forgive yourself for it?”

Jasper put the book he had been reading down on the couch cushion next to him and eyed his brother closely, contemplating whether or not he should answer. “Not for decades.”

“But you did?”

“She forgave me,” Jasper told his brother, “instantly.”

“That wasn’t my question,” Edward said. “Jasper, please, I need to know. How did it… when you did it, how did it feel when you realized what you’d done?”

Jasper’s golden eyes flicked to the floor as he remembered it, he remembered it all. “Agonizing.”

Red, Jasper saw red, he felt red. It was slick and dangerous, and he wondered to himself why there was so much red everywhere, on his hands, on his clothes, it was warm. He inhaled needlessly, and then he understood. He looked down and his breath caught even though he had none.

If he could cry, he would have been sobbing at the sight before him. His love, his (Y/N), lying on her living room floor, lifeless, blood pouring slowly from her neck as the last of her life drained from her. Her eyes were still open, looking to the side, those beautiful (e/c) eyes that he had fallen in love with almost as much as he was in love with her.

He lunged forward as the bloodlust had faded and grabbed her, shaking her, even though he could hear it, no heartbeat in her chest. He shook her as if she was just sleeping and she would wake up like she did every morning before that day, she would wake up next to him, and every morning, she would smile at him with that gorgeous smile of hers.

Jasper felt as if his frozen heart was being ripped out of his chest, and he acted without even thinking, praying that it would work. He lifted her wrist to his mouth and bit into it, his fangs digging into her cold skin, sending his venom into her veins. He then pulled his mouth away and moved to her upper arm and bit into it, he repeated the process on her other arm. He lifted her shirt and bit into her sides, trying to inject as much venom in her body as possibly.

The waiting for her to wake had been painful, even though it was only about an hour. When her eyes opened, her lashes catching in the light, making them more prominent, he let out a sigh, but then looked away from her. It had worked, but there was another realization that came with her transformation.

He had done that to her.

He couldn’t bear to see the look on her face when she realized it too. And after a few seconds, her voice met his ears. “Jasper?” Soft and hesitant, he shook his head, not at her, at himself. “Jasper, it’s okay.” So smart. She already knew what he’d done. What she was. “I know you didn’t mean to.”

His eyes moved in her direction but didn’t look at her, “does it matter?” His voice was distant, “you just…. I don’t even remember what happened, but I do know that I…. I did this to you. I hurt you, (Y/N). I killed you. You can’t just say that what I did is okay.”

I could feel (Y/N) staring at me, “Jas, would you please just look at me?” He shook his head again slightly, her voice was more desperate when she asked again. “Please.” He could hear her choke on a sob, even if she tried to hide it, even if she couldn’t even cry.

Jasper gulped and then turned his head slightly to look at her, and even in his guilt, in his sadness, in his desperation to find an answer to why he would do something, anything to harm his love, he thought that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her blood red eyes stared into his own that were slowly fading into a golden color with the more animal blood he drank.

He bit his bottom lip, “I am so sorry.” He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, “I am so sorry I did this to you, my love. I just….”

(Y/N) reached up with a small frown and touched her neck, where he had bitten her previously. Finding new, cold skin. “Jasper,” she started, he could tell by her spaced out gaze that she was thinking. “I forgive you.”

“I will never fully forgive myself for what I did to her,” Jasper told his brother once he snapped himself out of the memory. “I will never forget that I turned her into this.” He gestured to himself, “I will never forgive myself for turning her into a creature that constantly struggles, and she struggles more than any of us with her nature. I turned her into something that can’t have children, or a normal life. I couldn’t give her either even before she was a vampire.”

Jasper could tell that his answer wasn’t the one that Edward was hoping he would get. “The girl you’ve seen me talking to, Bella Swan, she’s figured out what we are, and I don’t know how to deal with it.” Jasper stayed calm, surprisingly at the news that the girl had figured it out. “She is different from other girls, and I am constantly worrying that she is going to get hurt, that I am going to hurt her. Or worse.”

Jasper smiled slightly, “you won’t.”

“I might,” Edward protested.

“Trust me, you won’t,” Jasper stood up from his spot on the couch. “Do what I didn’t have the guts to do. Believe that you won’t harm her, and you won’t. I didn’t listen to (Y/N) when she told me that I wouldn’t hurt her, I didn’t trust myself the way that she trusted me, and it cost her everything. Don’t make the same mistake.” He patted Edward once on the shoulder before going back to his bedroom where his love waited.

Jasper leaned against the doorframe and watched her as she laid on her back, half falling off the edge of the bed with a book high above her face. Her eyes flicked to him from her upside down position, her eyes were a bright shade of gold. As soon as she saw him, she smiled, not bothering to move from her position, but setting down her book.

Jasper huffed a laugh, “are you having fun there?”

“Well, it would be more fun if my husband would come here and do it with me,” (Y/N) teased. “But alas, he is in a far away land, which he has neglected to tell me the name of. So I suppose you’ll have to do.” She sighed in feigned disappointment.

Jasper shook his head at her antics, he padded over to her and crouched down so his face was level with hers. He brought his lips to her, his top lip touching her bottom one. It was a sweet kiss, which was not uncommon.

She rolled over onto her stomach and tilted her head at him with a soft smile on her face replacing her wide one, her smile was simply one of contentment. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair before cupping his cheek. “You did not take anything from me,” she said softly. Jasper swallowed as she stroked his cheek. “I have everything I have ever needed right here.” Her thumb brushed his bottom lip as she looked him in the eye.

“I will never not need to hear that,” Jasper sighed.

She hummed, “lucky for you, I will never have a problem reminding you.” She pulled him forward by the chin for another sweet kiss that made him smile against her lips.

He had truly found the woman he wanted to spend his immortal life with. And she was perfect.

#jasper hale #jasper x y/n #jasper x reader #jasper fluff #jasper angst

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hyuckilstan · 2 years

Text

[12:03 a.m] One Last Time - S.Mg

Pairing: Mingi x gn!reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: unhealthy relationship, cheating, mentions of manipulation, Mingi is an ass

Wc: 1k words

a/n: just felt fucking sad so here you go~~

☽·Masterlist·☾

“Baby, please just open the door,” his voice was weak and hoarse, he was persistent in trying to get you to open the door, while you sat at the corner of the room hugging your knees to your chest, weak sobs leaving you sad and angry that this had happened way too many times to be called a simple mistake.

And that door wasn’t the only thing that was blocking the chance to mend your relationship again like Mingi hopes you will be able to. It was also the constant breaking of trusts and promises that also caused you to be in this state.

“I said I’m sorry Y/N, I swear it won’t happen again,” his apology was met with nothing but a loud silence. He bangs the door again in a tired manner, another pitiful sob leaving his mouth as he rests his forehead on the door.

He lifts his head, hearing the faint footsteps approaching the door, he stood there, expectantly waiting for you to open the door, to tell him you forgave him just like other times, to ask him to cuddle you to sleep to forget about his mistake, just like the other times.

He stopped himself from pulling you into a hug as you opened the door, he was met with a view that made his heart sink, the stain of your tears was visible on your cheeks, your nose and eyes were red, probably out of crying, you looked tired, your eyes were dead, out of life as you sniffled your nose.

He....did that to you? Again?

“Baby-” he tried to come closer but stopped before he would hug you when you put your palm to his chest, pushing him back with little pressure. “You don’t have the right to call me that Song Mingi, what happened to ‘I promise to never do it again’, for the 4th time you did it again, yes I even fucking counted how much you had fucked up, four! Four times!”

Tears flowed down the tall male’s eyes, desperate to get you to forgive him, he knows he’s made so many mistakes now that he knows he doesn’t deserve you in his life, but he can’t let go of you, he has tried but he just couldn’t see himself being able to live without you.

So why, why did he keep betraying you, he always only realized how wrong it was after what happened happened. Then you guys will end back to square one, with you locking yourself somewhere asking why he chose to betray you even after all those promises and him telling you to open the door, begging you to forgive him, and begging you not to leave, the thought of you leaving him makes his skin crawl, he was terrified of that happening.

He would do anything, even if it meant that he had to play dirty and manipulate you, he would if it was for the sake of you staying. You don’t understand him anymore, he didn’t love you, if he does then why does he keep making mistakes.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologizes for the thousandth time, and surprisingly enough, you always forgave him, but that had to change. Not wanting to say more you attempt to walk past Mingi, but you know he’s not going to allow that.

You could feel his hands gripping on your wrists, not even allowing you to remove his hand away. “Mingi…..please just leave me for once, this is too much for me and you know that!”

Mingi falls to his knees to your words, kneeling to your legs, holding you from walking away, both of you were sobbing loudly now. He knows just how much you love him and what actions and words to use against you, if he didn’t, you would have left a long time ago, or even the first time he made a mistake with the person he said they were “just friends.”

This has been going on one too many times. He apologizes, you forgive, things get better for a week or two, you start having more hope again, then he makes the same mistakes all over again and you go back straight to square one. You shouldn’t have forgiven him or even met him in the first place, but you didn’t know the love of your life would bring this much despair and sadness into your life.

“You can’t leave me! Can’t you consider just how much that would make me suffer?! Y/N, babe, you can’t leave, I love you and you know that.” He was now hugging your legs, as he looked up with glassy eyes. “Mingi….you don’t love me, it’s all about you loving the idea of being loved and why can’t you see that you’re the one making me suffer and that you’re the reason why this is all happening, over and over again, what exactly is your plan?” You say as tears flowed down.

“Plan? Babe you have got it all wrong, my only plan is to spend time with you,” he defended himself, annoyed, you shake your leg off of his hold and he stands up following you. “Well you sure did have a lot of fun with your ‘friends’ so I don’t see how that is a good answer, you know what? It was my fault for believing in your lies over and over again in the first place, we’re done, and don’t try to guilt-trip me, I’m tired of this Mingi.” You wiped your tears looking around to pick up your jacket, Mingi’s heart sank even deeper, this was actually happening, you were about to leave him, and if he doesn’t want that he must do something as soon as possible.

You were already on the door about to close it. Come on Mingi, say something, you can still make a difference. “I can’t live without you Y/N and I mean it if you’re gone I’ll be nothing,” that’s the only sentence he could form, you scoffed.

“You can die to rot for all I care, this is goodbye Song Mingi, I loved you.”

Those was the last words he ever heard from you before you slammed the door at him. That’s when he hoped that you would turn around again, take him in your arms embracing him for just….

One Last Time

·—☽✧•°♡°•✧☾—·

Taglist: @amangooo, @yeo-hehet, @zen626, @enivivs, @yungisstar1117 (Lemme know if you wanna be added)

·—☽✧•°♡°•✧☾—·

#ateez ff #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez angst #ateez drabbles #ateez timestamps #mingi ff #mingi fanfic #mingi angst #mingi drabble #mingi timestamp

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helliontherapscallion · 3 years

Text

Surprises (Sweet Betrayal Part 2)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, alcoholism, abuse (physical and mental), depression, suicidal thoughts

Word count: 3,587

A dash of madness is what’s needed to get things done. It was the thing that caused Manberg to rise from the ashes of its terrible leadership prior to Schlatt, and it was going to be the thing that fixes the aftermath of the meddling of your ‘brothers’. At least that's what you thought on the matter.

It was a bit hard to form rational thought when reminders of your brothers were everywhere. The buildings that stood populating the city were built by them. The dents and scratches on the wood of the stage were caused by them. Your bloodstain on the concrete was caused by them. The burn scar that took up half of your face and the now clouded blind eye was caused by them. You couldn’t even look in the mirror without being reminded of them; it was like they followed you everywhere you went. Tormenting you with every step you took. With every breath you took you were breathing in the same putrid air they breathed. The air would be purified once you were done with them.

The only person you actually trusted nowadays was Schlatt. Oftentimes he would yell at you in a drunken rage, telling you that you were useless and undeserving of love. His words hurt you unbelievably, but he would always apologize in the morning. He had hit you occasionally leaving bruises and a fear of anybody moving too fast, but he had always apologized to you so you brushed it off. He was the first person that had shown you actual love after all. He was still the loving man he was before the presidency.

He would do the same to your other father Quackity. You both comforted each other after he would do that. He confessed to you one night through tears that you were the only thing tethering him to his marriage with Schlatt. It was something you couldn’t understand; why would he ever want to leave Schlatt when he would apologize to you two every single time? It wasn’t like he could control his alcoholism. It had a grip on him that he couldn’t shake.

You weren’t there when Quackity had killed Schlatt, as you were roaming the streets of Manberg at the time, but you were there when he ran into you in a panic.

You were walking past Niki’s deserted bakery with a skip in your step and a smile on your face. The sight of the broken glass and the looted remains of the building took away most of the stress that living in and governing Manberg brought you. The citizens and the cabinet had grown distrustful of you and Schlatt, making it hard for you to get any work done. You had taken up most of the responsibilities of the presidency due to Schlatt falling off the deep end with his alcoholism and truth be told everything was stressing you out. You needed to keep smiling, you’re never fully dressed without one.

You came to a halt in front of the bakery, your hand reaching up to graze the scarred skin on the right side of your face. The once relaxed smile that gently stretched your lips turned strained. ‘Don’t cry, you’re never fully dressed without a smile!’ A soft voice sang in your mind, his light laughter reminiscent of happier times. He would not be happy with the path you’ve taken. Oh well, you liked who you were now; he just needs to put up with it when you see him again.

Your thoughts were interrupted by something, or rather someone, colliding with you. You were about to fall onto the glass-strewn pavement before someone caught you and pulled you into a tight embrace. You couldn’t see who it was, but their jacket smelled like a mixture of blood and cologne. Their shoulders were bouncing as they sobbed into your shoulder. Papá?

You felt his wings embrace you fully, much like they did during the festival. You awkwardly rubbed his back until he calmed down enough to pull away from you. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, face blotchy, and a swollen lip graced his face. Your dad was probably just drunk again.

You tried your best to smile at him gently, the smile threatening to falter. “Papá? Is Dad drunk again?”

“We have to get you out of here, mijo.” He tried to grab your hand to pull you with him but you moved it out of the way. You needed to know what was happening. You didn’t like not knowing what was happening.

“Why do you have blood on you, where are you bleeding?” Schlatt’s never made you or Quackity bleed before, so this was new. He was probably drunker than he usually was.

You watched as his dark brown eyes flicked down to his bloodied hands and clothes before they flicked back up looking more panicked. “It’s not mine. C’mon, we need to get out of here.”

This time, he firmly grabbed your hand and started to pull you towards the borders of Manberg. Towards Pogtopia. You weren’t ready to enact your plans for the brothers yet, so you dug your heels into the ground. That didn’t stop the man, in fact he pulled you close to his body and spread his wings to take off into the cloudy sky. Before he could, you pushed him away.

“Papá, who’s blood is it?” You already knew, your voice was shaking and the smile had completely faded. Surely, he couldn’t be dead again, right? Quackity’s face told you all you needed to know. Schlatt was dead.

Swallowing past the lump in your throat, you whispered “what happened?”

“He- it doesn’t matter. Come with me, I’m leaving this place,” he spat out the last word with hatred. “It isn’t too late for you, Pogtopia-”

“Pogtopia? You’re seriously going to that pathetic excuse of a ‘country’?” You barked out a somewhat forced laugh, the smile finding its rightful place on your face. “Are you stupid? Why would you ever leave a nation as prosperous as Manberg?”

“Can’t you see? Look around you, this nation’s crumbling under Schlatt’s rule! How is that ‘prosperous’?”

“Did you hit your head or something? Our nation’s thriving under Schlatt’s leadership!”

“He isn’t even fucking leading! All he’s doing is getting drunk off his ass having you do all the dirty work! He’s using you, (y/n).”

“Shut the fuck up Quackity,” he flinched back slightly at the use of his first name being thrown about, “Dad’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and you, you’re so stupid to just throw him away when he needs us the most.”

He put his hands on your shoulders and gripped them tightly to avoid you ripping yourself out of his grasp. He looked you dead in the eyes with the most sincerity you’ve ever seen from someone. “(Y/n), we tried to help him. We did our best, but he’s too far gone. He isn’t the person we knew; the presidency no, this nation, changes people. If you stay, he’s gonna… You have to come with me to Pogtopia. Your brothers-”

“They aren’t my brothers.”

“-Wilbur, Tommy, and everyone else that used to live in Manberg is on their side. You’ll get killed if you stay.”

You tilted your chin up and looked down at him with cold eyes and your signature smile. “Then so be it. I will see to it that anyone cowardly enough to run when things get the slightest bit tough will be taken care of,” his grip on your shoulders loosened for a moment in shock at your words. That was all the time you needed, you ripped yourself out of his grip and turned to walk away leaving the devastated man in your wake. You stopped and turned your head to look at him through the corner of your good eye, “I suggest you run as far as you can, P- Quackity. It would be a shame if I had to kill you if you stayed a second longer. Get the hell out of my nation, traitor.” With that you turned back around and started walking again. After a few seconds, you finally heard him move.

“I’ll be back for you, I promise. I-I love you, mijo.” You heard the ruffling of feathers and the batting of wings behind you as he left Manberg. The smile on your face was wobbly and weak as tears started to slip out of your eyes. You took a second to compose yourself before you broke off into a sprint towards the White House, passing a few Rutabagaville members and Badlanders stopping to look at you in confusion. Your dad needed you.

After that, you slowly began to question Schlatt’s words, especially when he was drunk. Now that you paid attention, he never said that he loves you anymore. He only had you do his work, the only things he would talk to you about anymore was about the upcoming war and how useless you were as he berated the paperwork you had no idea how to do. There were no more talks about how you mattered, no more side hugs, hair tousles, or soft headbutts, nothing. Maybe he was using you after all.

So here you were, standing in front of his office with a shaking hand hovering over the oak doors. The smile on your face was incredibly forced, feeling painful for holding it for so long. Just as you mustered the courage to knock on the ram hybrid’s door, it swung open to reveal the hybrid himself.

Your father was swaying on his feet as he looked at you in surprise, “I thought I gave you the night off. Ender, can’t even get your own schedule right? Why’re you even working for me?” You could smell the alcohol on his breath and it reeked. You shrunk in on yourself slightly eyeing the bottle in his hand. The last time he yelled at you he smashed you in the head with it. You forgave him obviously, but it left you with fear whenever you saw a glass bottle in his hand. It happened only last week shortly after Quackity left. The gashes it left on your face and head were still healing.

Since Quackity left and he went through yet another death, Schlatt had become more irritable, paranoid, and violent. He started yelling at and hitting you more, crying and begging afterwards for you to forgive him. He promised that he’d never do it again, but he always did. You always forgave him in the end because he was the only one that loved you and the only one that you actually talked to anymore. You craved any type of physical touch from your adoptive dad at this point, you didn’t care if it was violent or not. Any touch was a happy touch.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you Dad, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me tomorrow for my birthday.”

“Birthday? BIRTHDAY?” He barked out a drunken laugh, his words slurring together. “You want me, the leader of a nation during a fucking war, to take a second off just because of one day that never should’ve happened?”

You fiddled with your fingers and shuffled your feet, struggling to keep the trace of a smile on your face. You couldn’t lie, that one stung a bit. If you didn’t know any better, you’d compare it to how you were treated at your previous family’s home. You’d never compare Schlatt to those cowards though. He was far better than them. “I’m sorry Dad, but I just thought that I’d celebrate it this year, I’m turning six-.”

“Awe, is it gonna hurt your wittle feewings if I told you that I don’t care? Wake up, (y/n). We’re in the middle of a war. We don’t have time to celebrate anything. You and I are working tomorrow. Now get out of my face before I fire your sorry ass for unprofessionalism and misconduct.”

“Okay, goodnight Dad. Love y-” before you could finish, the door was slammed in your face. You could hear him laughing and mumbling incoherently to himself from behind the thick oak doors. Sighing, you turned around and walked straight into your office. You took out a rope from your desk drawer and stared at it blankly.

It’d be so easy to off yourself again. If you made the noose properly unlike last time, your neck would snap and you’d be killed immediately instead of slowly suffocating. No one would stop you, no one would care. Schlatt would. He loved you like you were his biological kid. You fantasized that as you were about to jump off your desk that he’d open your door and attempt to apologize before he would realize what was going on and comfort you. He’d hold you like he did before he won the election telling you that your life mattered. You’d give anything for that to happen, but in the deepest darkest corner of your mind you knew that it’d never happen. He’d just drown himself in alcohol not realizing what’s happening in the room down the hall. Hell if anything, Karl would be the one to find your hanging corpse as he had a meeting with you first thing in the morning.

Besides, you had to live to carry out your plan to murder Tommy and Wilbur. You obviously wouldn’t be able to kill Philza or Technoblade because the former is immortal and the latter is, well he’s Technoblade (though you have been talking to Dream more lately. Maybe you could ask for a favor). That didn’t worry you; they’d probably kill you on sight once they’ve heard that their precious boys have been brutally murdered by you. You didn’t care if they killed you afterwards, your mission would be complete. It’d be a devastating blow to the family (if you could even call it that at that point, it’d be just father and son), something that’ll take them a while to recover from.

You put the rope back into your desk drawer and curled up onto the couch you had in the corner of your office. Wrapping yourself in the blanket you kept in a filing cabinet drawer, you quickly passed out.

The next day felt just like another day. You woke up, put on your suit, and started on some paperwork that you had to complete before the end of the day. You didn’t feel any different, it was just another day of trying to keep this nation afloat during wartime while juggling two jobs at once. Schlatt was right, your birthday was just another day. You felt silly for confronting him about it last night. It was stupid of you to do, all you could hope now was that he’d forgive you.

A knock on the door made you look up and plaster a smile onto your face. “Come in.” Karl’s messy mop of brown hair came into view before he did. Like usual, he had a dopey grin on his face and was wearing that ender awful hoodie. You hated that hoodie, it was unprofessional to wear in such an important government building. It looked like he was wanting to say something, he looked slightly anxious. Looking back down at your work, you quickly reorganized it. “Good morning, Mr. Jacobs. I’m assuming you’d like to walk and talk?”

“How-”

You walked over to him with a smile, “I can read people’s body language pretty well. Now let’s start our meeting. It’s not like we have all day.”

You both walked through the halls of the White House talking about what you usually talked about in meetings; progress reports, the extent of which Pogtopia is expanding, and brainstorming ideas on how to take the rebelling country down. The entire time he was casually throwing around jokes of which you would reply with a ‘stop messing around’ and quickly reel the conversation back in. Eventually, he stopped dead in his tracks in front of a spare room you and Schlatt used for storage. It was relatively empty inside with the exception of a few boxes.

“Karl, why have you stopped? We still have much more to discuss before our meeting’s over.”

“Open the doors.”

“Wha-”

“Just do it! You’ll like what’s on the other side, I promise.” You eyed his excited smile suspiciously before you sighed, “fine, I guess I’ll entertain you just this one time. Don’t expect me to-” you cut yourself off as you saw what was behind the door.

Grinning faces stared back at you. Each member of the Badlands and Rutabagaville were in the cramped little room. Well, it was cramped for Bad and Sam with their heights, the rest of them fit just fine. In Bad’s hands was a homemade cake with neat letters printed on the top in your favorite color. It read ‘happy 16th birthday (y/n)!’.

You were frozen as Karl put a hand on your shoulder and gently nudged you inside the room closing the door behind him. You stayed frozen as they started to sing happy birthday to you, Karl and Sapnap competing to sing the highest note at the end of it. You stayed frozen as they looked at you expectantly waiting for you to blow out the candles.

“Well? You gonna blow out the candles, gem?” Skeppy gestured with a hand to the cake, the flames’ light being bounced off his ridgid skin in a slight rainbow.

“I-I don’t- We don’t have time for this, we’re in a war. I’ve got a lot of paperwork to do-”

“Nothing’s gonna happen if we celebrate for an hour,” Sam gently told you, “the paperwork can wait.”

“Yeah, you’re still a kid; you deserve to at least have an hour dedicated to you on your birthday,” Ant told you.

You stayed there looking at them skeptically, you remembered how they looked at you during the festival. However unlike their looks of fear and disbelief they all wore during the festival, they were looking at you with warmth and empathy. You honestly didn’t know what to do, you haven’t celebrated your birthday since… well since him. By Ender, you missed him.

“C’mon, imagine the fire is your enemy! Blow em out! Blow em out!” Skeppy chanted, the others joining in with encouraging smiles. Bad looked like he wanted to scold them for trying to pressure you, but he eventually joined in as well placing a giant clawed hand on your shoulder with a gentle smile and a nod towards the cake.

You hesitantly leaned forward and blew the candles out. The plumes of smoke that drifted off from the burnt wicks reminded you of the cigarettes Schlatt would smoke. The men in the room cheered with Ant gently patting your shoulder and Karl, Sapnap, and Skeppy cheering the loudest. Sam was clapping and giving you the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen from the creeper hybrid and Bad put his hand on your head and ruffled your hair. You could feel your forced smile turning genuine as you felt a warm joy bubble in your gut and spread through your body for the first time in years.

“Good job, muffin! What’d you wish for?”

You craned your neck to look up at the demon in confusion, “I was supposed to wish for something?”

“Yeah! Haven’t you done this before?”

“No, can’t say I have. Am I supposed to wish for something now or am I too late?”

“It’s never too late, muffin. Go ahead, wish for something,” Bad gave you a small smile. You nodded and stared at the cake intensely raking your brain for something to wish for. The only thing that you truly wanted was for Tommy and Wilbur to finally die and for Technoblade and Philza’s lives to be ruined. That was the only way you’d be happy, so you opened your mouth only to have a frantic Skeppy cut you off, “no! If you say it out loud, it won’t come true!”

“Alright, I’ll keep it to myself then.”

After you ate some cake (it’s been a while since you’ve had the sweet, it was tastier than you remembered), you tried to glance at the clock only to be blocked by Ant, “relax, Schlatt’s out today. You can spend as much time here as you want.”

“He’ll find out, my Dad’s been stressed lately. I-”

“Kid, you work your ass off twenty four seven. You’re almost never out of your office.”

“Language Sapnap! But… he has a point though. You need a break. You shouldn’t have to worry about this kind of stuff, you’re still a kid.”

“Loosen up a bit! I’ll put on some music, what do you usually listen to?” Karl grinned widely at you gesturing to the jukebox in the corner of the room. You saw some records laying around on top of one of the boxes. It looked like there was a full collection of them.

“I don’t usually listen to music. I don’t really have the time for it, but uh, you can pick out anything as long as it’s not Cat or Mellohi.” You hated those discs with a burning passion. It was like you could still hear the muffled medlies drifting through the walls in your childhood home.

Once Karl put on a disc, some fast paced harmonized notes sounded from the machine.

“Let’s fuckin party!” Sapnap shouted.

“Language!”

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twinklelilstarkey · 3 years

Note

Can I Maybe request a fight with mtkachuk but ends happy???

A/N: Of course. Hope you like it!

You and Matt had a fight. It honestly didn’t come as a surprise. The both of you were in a bad mood the whole day and all you wanted to do was stay home and be alone. And, well, that didn't happen. All because of your plans.

You had planned, weeks prior, with your friends to go have a big evening and dinner out together. The plan was purely for the enjoyment of everyone. It didn’t require a lot of moving or walking around or even driving, so, no complaining about that. It was just a big hang out in someone’s backyard, a late lunch while you talk about life, and, eventually, late at night, a drive to a restaurant to end the day and have the last group meal.

Again, it was supposed to be something light-hearted, but it didn’t take long for Matthew to get under your skin.

Even though the bad mood was from the both of you, he didn’t even care enough to fake a smile when to greet people. Oh, and you were pissed.

You sat beside him during the whole afternoon while he scrolled through his phone and ignored most conversation starters. You tried to overcompensate and be double as social as you normally are because of it.

By the time you got to dinner, it was safe to say: you were exhausted.

And Matthew? His phone had just died so he had nothing to do but actually talk to people. Your friends were nice enough to welcome the moody man into their group conversations but no matter how many pokes you gave his side or pinches on his arm, he just didn’t seem to understand what you wanted. Which was, of course, to be slightly nicer with everyone.

The drive home was complete hell. The first few minutes were just silent, yet as soon as you get to the first red light, a simple unnecessary comment from him and you just snapped.

You two screamed at one another the whole drive, and scream after scream, it surely just ended with you just hurting one another more and more with each sentence.

You remember flashes of the last minutes before getting inside the apartment. You remember slamming the door of his car, sobbing your way through the lobby of the building, and closing yourself in your shared bedroom to cry in peace.

Matthew stayed in the car for a while longer, he ignored the shivers that ran through him when you slammed the door and he heard you sob over the loud thump. He then just stared at the grey wall in front of him in the parking lot.

Minutes passed and you still hadn’t heard the front door reopen, yet you didn’t go to check on Matt. You continued laying over the sheets of your bed, with your wet cheeks and tight chest, as you stared and sobbed at the doors of your wardrobe.

Matt had actually gotten in the apartment already, but he was so silent with the door that he believes not even a ghost heard him walk in.

He took off his shoes and winter jacket, hanging it by the door. He then dragged his feet from the wooden floors of his home and made his way to the bedroom door.

His hand laid over the door handle and he stopped his movements when he heard another soft sob from the other side of the door. He lifted his hand and took a step back, staring at the dark door in silence.

He made you cry and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

Matthew closed his hand into a fist and let it fall to his side. He couldn’t just walk in there and act like what happened just didn’t. Right?

He brought his hand over his curls and brushed them back in frustration. His eyes drifted to the ground as he thought of a solution but nothing came to mind.

And with that, he decided to walk back to the other side of the house, to the living room, where he slept.

This morning, the first thing you did when you woke up was to quickly lay your hand over the opposite side of the bed. Cold. Your eyes opened slowly over the bright sunlight and you let out a groan.

You had a headache that was completely out of this world, almost as if you were with a hungover. But guess that’s what crying until you fall asleep gets you.

You forced yourself out of bed and quickly changed into some comfortable clothes - some shorts and one of Matt’s old shirts.

Now, when you're washing your face, as you look at yourself in the mirror, you tense up.

You didn’t hear Matthew come home, yesterday.

You, in light speed, turn off the water and dry your face with the towel. You walk out of the bathroom and bedroom and start making your way down the hallway.

The house is silent. Too silent.

As you reach the front door, you eye the hanger by it. His jacket is there, and so are his shoes, right under it. His keys are in the little platter on top of the table right at the entrance.

He’s home.

A sudden feeling of relief washes over you and you decide to make your way to the living room. And that’s where you find him. Sleeping on his side over the large couch.

You take silent steps over to him and notice the soft scowl over his features. You also notice that he didn’t change clothes, he’s still in his jeans and hoodie. Probably not very comfortable.

No matter how mad and sad you were yesterday, you didn’t want him to sleep on the couch, or even not go into the bedroom to get clothes. This room is the coldest of the apartment and the couch is only good for short naps. You can’t even imagine how much his back will hurt when he wakes up.

You walk closer to him and decide to not fight off your wishes. You crouch next to the couch and eye Matt’s sleeping form. You raise your hand and brush his curls back, away from his forehead.

He shifts slightly at your sudden touch, yet you don’t pull away. Your fingers play with the shorter hair on the sides of his head and your fingers then move to caress his temple.

No matter how much he hurt you yesterday, you still love him. You guys have known each other for years, it’s not your first fight, so, it’s not as painful as one would imagine it. At least not on the next day.

Your gaze shifts over to his phone on the side table next to the couch. You reach for it, and, yeah, still no battery. Without taking a second to think, you stand up back on your feet and go over to the charger by the TV.

While you’re connecting it to the charger, a voice breaks the silence in the room.

“What time is it?”

You quickly stand back on your feet and turn to Matthew, who is still laying down but is squinting at the light in the room.

“It’s early.” You tell me, “Probably around 9.”

He nods to let you know that he heard you and you finally force yourself to walk over to him again. Matthew opens his eyes when you stand in front of the light that was attacking him and he stares up at you in silence for just a few seconds before lifting his hand up at you. You take it hesitatingly and he pulls you closer to him. To lay with him.

Matthew turns on his side to open some space for you between him and the couch and you finally do as told. You, carefully and slowly, step over his legs on top of the couch and take a seat before finally laying.

Your faces are close to one another. Your back is glued to the couch and your chest to practically touching Matt’s, yet you don’t hesitate to look up at him.

“When did you come home?” You ask, still with your hand in his.

“Right after you did.” He tells you and you frown a bit, “I was just quiet.”

You nod understandably and feel him start to move his hand on yours. For a second you expect him to pull his hand away, but he does the opposite, he intertwines your fingers with his before letting your hands fall between you two.

“I’m sorry for yesterday.” He breaks the silence. “I was an ass and you didn’t deserve that.”

You give him a small smile and a little shake with your head as if to dismiss whatever had happened yesterday.

“I should’ve apologized right away, but I didn’t. I’m so sorry.” He says it again.

“I forgive you, Matty. Don’t worry about it.” You tell him with a soft tone.

“I have to worry.” He tells you, “You were crying, Y/N. I said so much stupid shit. To you and your friends.”

You let go of his hand and lay yours over his cheek.

“You’re forgiven.” You tell him while looking into his worried eyes, “Just- just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.” He tells you, “I promise. I’m never going to be that much of an ass ever again.”

You smile at him and look down at his lips.

You can tell just by the look he’s giving you that he’s still beating himself for it, probably feeling like his apology wasn’t good enough. He has reacted like that before, in smaller arguments, and did end up apologizing to you for more than a week straight - even though you forgave him on the second day.

Sure, his apology is not the long romantic one that leaves a girl swooning at how good he is with words or makes a heart melt, but it’s good enough for you. For all the years you’ve known him, you can tell when he’s apologizing because he needs to and when he wants to. It’s all in his tone and his expression.

He means what he says, even though it’s not much. And just in case you still have a little voice in the back of your mind telling you that you forgave him too quickly, don’t you worry, because he is not done. Expect a minimum of 20 more “I’m sorry’s” just for the rest of the hour.

“Another thing.” You start and he nods quickly, “Please don’t ever sleep on this couch again. Just go sleep on the bed.”

“I didn’t want to make you more upse-”

“You wouldn’t.” You tell him, “Believe me.”

He nods understandingly and you finally land a kiss over his lips. It’s a simple peck, but it’s one that Matthew was dying to get. It relieves some of the pressure in his overthinking mind, and he felt right away. Even if it’s just temporary, it gives him some sort of comfort.

When you pull away and give him a soft grin, his eyes stare back at you lovingly.

“I love you.” He whispers at you. “I’m sorry.”

Your grin stretches into a smile and you give him a very quick kiss.

Here we go.

“Love you too, Matty.” You tell him.

Hope this is good!! I’m kinda worried that this is too rushed but sometimes I just really don’t know how to make it better.

#Matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk imagines #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fanfic #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 3 years

Text

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 2

Part 1

Hiii I don't know if you take request but can i request like a chris evans x reader like the reader and chris are married and chris is having a bad day or something so chris go out to the pub and go home drunk and its been going for 3 days and the reader and chris has a 6year old and the reader have been doing all the work and taking care of they're daughter and they're daughter miss chris bc chris is never home and just go home until 12 or 2 in the morning or if chris is home he never play with her daughter and they're daughter is sad abt it bc they're daughter though chris doesn't love her anymore and chris miss her play in school even though chris promise so that day when chris miss her daughter's play the reader confront chris abt it and chris said he doesn't care abt his daughter and he said he didn't know why he married the reader bc she's clingy but chris didn't know that they're daughter heard what chris said abt her and chris didn't know also that the reader is 6-7 weeks pregnant and the reader and chris heard they're daughter sob and that moment chris realize it all his mistakes? and apologize to them idk if this make sense and im sorry if this is so longg, thank you in advance stay safe! <3

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓, 𝒅𝒂𝒅! 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕

Chris paced back and forth as he tried to call you for the 10th time. It was the next day, he was sober and the images from last night clouded his brain. Seeing the pain and anger on your face as he said he wish he never married you.

Seeing isabella crying from his disgusting words. That hurt him the most, he regret everything.

The phone went to voicemail again making Chris groan. You had every right to not talk to you, but he wanted to know you and isabella was okay. You were still his wife.

Chris sighed sitting down on the couch. He rubbed his eyes with his palm, exhaling for the hundredth time.

The house phone on the table beside the couch rung causing Chris to quickly grab it. He thought it was you but no, it was your doctor.

"hi is this Mrs Evans?" Chris frowned, "uh no but this is Mr Evans." Chris said, he was deeply confused.

"oh well you tell Mrs Evans that have her next appointment date to check on the baby."

Chris stood up, he wasn't sure he heard right. "I'm sorry, the baby?"

The innocence lady on the other side of the phone phone gasped, "oh I'm sorry, you didn't know."

"no it's fine." Chris sighed softly, his heart picking up speed in his chest. "I'll tell her, thank you." He hung up the phone throwing it onto the couch. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He mumbled to himself. He really needed to find you and isabella.

You laid in the uncomfortable bed, isabella sleeping soundly beside you. It was around 8 in the morning and thoughts from yesterday filled your mind.

"I wish I never married you"

"Forget isabella, I don't care about her stupid play"

It hurt just knowing he thought those things. It took some time last night, but you managed to go to sleep around 3am. Now it was morning time, you were in a crappy hotel, and Chris was blowing up your phone like crazy.

You sighed pulling back the blanket. You walked to the bathroom. You looked in the mirror, your almost 3 month along bump was showing. You tore your eyes from it looking at your face. You were trying not to think about Chris in that moment.

"get it together y/n." You whispered to yourself.

"mommy." You looked back to the doorway seeing isabella. Her stuff bear was in her hands as she rubbed her sleepy eye with the other hand.

"good morning honey."

You walked over to her, "did you sleep good?" Isabella looked up at you. "Yeah, I slept great." You laughed, "that's great. Uh do you wanna go get some breakfast? We can eat some pancakes and waffles, what you say bug?"

Isabella started to think, it was almost like you can see the wheels turning in her head. "Uhh yeah. Can we see daddy too?"

Your stomach did a flip, you didn't think she'll be okay with what he said about her, but She was 6 so maybe that was the reason.

"umm... Yeah, yeah. We can see daddy." Isabella smiled, "okay, I watch TV now." She walked back over to the bed, hopping in it. You exhaled, running your hands over your face. Here goes nothing you thought to yourself.

Chris phone ringing interrupting him from his daze. He picked it up seeing your contact. His heart picked up as he answered it.

"y/n, are you okay?" On the other side of the phone you sighed, "yeah, I'm fine. Look um isabella want see you so can you meet us at the diner at (some street name)?"

Chris nodded even though you couldn't see him. "Yeah, of course." He walked to the foyer to put on his shoes. "Umm, I love you." Chris said. He wasn't expecting you to say it back, but you did. When you did, his heart skipped and a smile formed on his face.

You hung up the phone. You let out a sigh once again. Here goes nothing.

You sat in the diner, isabella beside you coloring in the booklet they gave her. You both were waiting for Chris to come.

Your mind was filled, you couldn't even figure out what you were thinking about at all at this point.

After waiting a few more minutes, you heard the diner door open. In walked Chris. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers and stuffed animal. You were guessing it was his apologize.

He walked over to you both, just like yours, his heart was beating pretty hard in his chest.

"hey." Chris smiled shyly at you as you got up. "Hi." You tore your eyes from his, looking down at isabella. She was looking up at her daddy with a soft smile on her face. Chris kneeled down to her height. "Hi baby." He said to her softly. "I'm sorry for yesterday, I didn't mean any of it, I promise. Can you forgive me?"

isabella's small smile grew to a bigger one. "Yeah." Chris smiled at her. "Okay, give me a hug."

Isabella giggled as she Wrapped her arms around his neck. Chris hugged her close. He felt relived she forgave him, he felt so bad for saying what he said to her and he's going to spend the rest of his life making it up to her.

He pulled away from her, he handed the stuffed animal to her before standing back up.

He looked back at you. "Uh these are for you. It's not an apology, I'll give you a sincere apology later, but for now I have these." He looked at you, he had bags under his eyes from his sleepless night, and tear streaks on his cheeks from the crying he did.

you quickly tore your eyes from His taking the flowers. "Thanks." You cleared your throat. "Uh shall we have breakfast?"

Chris inhaled, "yeah." He walked over to the opposite side of the table and took a seat. You did the same sitting back beside isabella. You all ordered trying to forget about the tension that was very much between you and Chris. It was nice that you both were talking, but you just couldn't wait for the much needed talk later that night.

It was around 8 pm. You and Chris decided to drop her off at his mom's house. You didn't want what happened the day before to happen again.

You sat on the couch fiddling with your shirt end. Chris was in the kitchen getting you both something to drink before you talked.

"so um.. I got you some water." Chris said walking over to you handing you the glass of water. You thanked him Taking a sip before placing it on the coffee table. Chris sat beside you with a sigh.

"I.. I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't mean any of it. It just slipped out because I was drunk and tired, I wasn't in my right head space in the moment and I took out on you and Bella and I'm sorry." He breathed out. He scanned your face waiting for you to speak. You shook your head, you didn't look at him but you spoke.

"yeah you're sorry, but you really hurt me. I wish I was never, that's fucked up and it hurts so much. If you never wanted to marry me why did you?"

You turned to Chris, tears threatening to spill over. The look on your face hurted Chris, he fucked up big time and he knew it.

"no, I didn't mean that, I swear. I love you more than anything. I don't regret marrying you, it was just a stupid mistake... I'm sorry baby."

Tears were starting to form in chris' eye. He felt guilty, he knew no amount of words could fix what he done but he was sorry more than anything.

"you promise?" You looked at him. Your lips were trembling Because of your crying.

"I promise." Chris said. He cupped your cheek with his hand. He placed a light kiss on your nose, but it wasn't enough for you. You went way too long without kissing him, you weren't going to waste another second not.

You grabbed his chin kissing him. Somehow his chap lips felt soft. They felt like home to you, you missed them so much.

You pulled away looking back at Chris. "I have something I need to tell you." You said fiddling with his hands.

"I'm pregnant."

Chris gave you a sour look, you already knew why. "You know?" Chris nodded, "the doctor called. they have an appointment for you, they want you to call them back to tell you."

You exhaled, "well... Surprise." You laughed making Chris smile. He missed that sound. He's been gone for so many nights he totally forgot how it sounded.

"can I come to the next appointment?" Chris pouted his lip making you laugh. "Of course you can. You need to your little peanut. I'm thinking it's a boy"

Chris frowned, "no I'm pretty sure it's a girl."

"you haven't seen them yet." You said to him Rolling your eyes playfully. "I know but I want another princess."

"touche."

It's not that good but thank you for reading. I had fun breaking y'all hurts on the first part lol

@chris-butt @patzammit @bval-1 @raveviolet @mrsbbarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captianamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @rororo06 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @adriannajackson123 @marvelnaturalock @notyourtypicalrose @dummiesshort @onetwo3000 @hhiggs @katiew1973 @andreasworlsboring101 @skepticnovak @funfickgirl22 @hxnesthxneybee @christhickevans @melchills-j @franchesca-791 @moonlacebeam @wallowsgirl14 @areamir

@thevelvetseries @chaoticfiretaconerd @chrisevansgirl34 @a-moment-captured @shookbeech @pamelalur15 @llamaproblem @jessyballet @hazeljean2 @ohbarracuda @mrspeacem1nusone @n3ssm0nique @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @chrisevanisliterallysir @beautiful--blessing @coldmuffinpartycloud @mylittlecrazyworldofinterest @writingmeow29 @corrinez

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagines

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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 3 years

Text

Touch to Comfort |Dazai x reader|

Touch to comfort. |Dazai x traumatized reader|

Warnings- implied past abuse (not from dazai).

The moon shimmered through the open curtains. It was rare to have a night like this. Normally the night was consumed with lonely sleep. One of you, always away. Whether it be on investigations or running from something, one of you was usually missing. On the rare nights where the two of you were alone in the small apartment, you held your bodies close. His slender, delicate hands clasped around your waist as your head pressed against his chest. His chin lightly rested against the top of your head. Sometimes you’d play a movie, or just listen to music. Others, you stayed still basking in the other's attention. It was rare for either of you to leave the attention of the other.

Today was one of the few days the two of you were home together. He seemed frustrated and pissed. His face showed nothing but the way he carried himself, reminded you of the Dazai you did not miss. You had heard the news, and were in fact not expecting your boyfriend to be home tonight. Considering everything the agency was going through. The demon, known as Fyodor, was causing quite the commotion and trouble for Dazai. They most likely rival each other's intelligence, this could explain the sour mood Dazai walked in with. His fingers roughly shoved off his shoes. His eyes not once paying mind to you. He whispered no welcomes, gave you no attention.

It made you slightly insecure. Whenever he was home he would race to see you, to bask in your attention. It had been nearly a month since you two had alone time. Due to the dangers of his work, it had been just as long without seeing one another. He was afraid of what Fyodor would do if he found out about your relationship. None of his other enemies scared him that way. He’d never known this frustration or fear before. You could tell he wasn’t in a mood to talk. His shoulders shrugged the coat off, letting it fall to the floor. Sighing you picked it up and placed it on the hook. Normally you'd scold him for the mess he left you to deal with. Tonight you let it be, afraid of upsetting him. His past self had always terrified you. You accepted it, but before this relationship had started there had been one single warning, one condition.

He was never to act like a mafioso in front of you. He was never to harm you or to scream at you. You had not told him why, but he’d smiled, kissed your lips, and held his hand out to make that promise. He had assured you no matter how mad he may get with work as a detective, he would never take the frustration out on you. It had been a promise, he’d kept it so far. There were times he came close but before his voice raised he always took a sharp breath, hung his head, and apologized for almost raising his voice. Even in the rare moments you fought, he never once screamed. He may have yelled a bit, but he never made you feel threatened. Even after those arguments, he spoiled you rotten from his guilt. He truly loved you as you loved him.

Walking into the room you couldn’t help notice he was pacing around. With your soft e/c hues you walked up to him. Your hand reached to cup his cheek. A small motion to comfort him. That was all it took, the startled motion of his hand seemingly slow in time. The back of his hand hitting yours. His eyes, deprived of emotion. His mouth opening, but not to apologize and soothe your skin, or plead for you to forgive the small action. He’d never lashed out before. Had the words from his mouth been a plea for forgiveness, it would have been alright. Your vision would not have unfocused and split to shield your mind; to protect you.

You caught nothing of what he said, only that his voice was loud, loud enough to pierce through your boundaries. Loud enough to make you flinch. Loud enough to inflict a scared whimper. Loud enough for you to back up, cradle your reddening palm to your chest, and sink. Loud enough for your hands to cover your ears. He wasn’t shouting anymore, he’d stopped as soon as he realized he’d screamed. He’d spoken 3 words, not right now. He’d screamed them at you. He’d broken that promise to you.

His mind was quick to clear as he took in how you looked. Defenseless and vulnerable… and he’d put you there. He’d put you into a panicking and terrified space. He’d hurt you. Naturally, he stood frozen, not knowing what to do. Your body was shaking, trembling as if you had been on the brink of life and death. “Belladonna?” he whispered but you lacked a response. Your ears are still covered by your hands.

He knelt in front of you. Reaching out, slowly his hands crept towards you. Your head flew up in seconds, body flinching away from his touch. Your eyes a haze as tears dripped down. His hands fell back to his sides as he looked away. They curled up, grasping the fabric of his pants as he blamed himself and cursed his own foolish actions. “I’m sorry.” when he heard you apologize he shot back to look into your eyes. It was as if he were looking into the water itself. Coated in such a thick fog, he doubted you were in reality anymore.

If it were possible, seeing this unworldly look in your eyes fed into his guilt. His hands once more reached yours. When you didn’t shy away, he gently moved them off your ears and held them in his. He leaned to your ear, so he could whisper as soft as his voice could. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you responded a little bit. The smallest movement of your hands. Aching to be held your body inched towards him. He released one of your hands, his now free hand, cupping your cheek as he continued to apologize.

Eventually, he brought you to a hug. Trying to soothe your breathing. It was like a switch being flipped. Your arms moved to wrap around him. You repositioned yourself before weeping into the crook of his neck. “Idiot.” you sniffled the only insult you could muster. He accepted it, no tease leaving his lips as his hand tangled in your hair.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” he whispered watching as you sniffled once more but a light chuckle left your lip. “It won’t happen again, I promise.” he wouldn’t let this kind of accident happen ever again.

You pulled back to leave a kiss' whisper on his lips. “It’s okay, it was an accident.'' Maybe you forgave too quickly, but love could do many things.

He lifted you and placed the two of you on the bed. Pulling your head to his chest, he yanked the covers over the two of you. “Let’s sleep.”

“I love you,” you whispered before letting your eyes fall closed.

“I love you more.”

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

can we get a part 2 to caps panic attack? like an outside perspective (not caps) maybe loops or like a cub or something ?

Y'all thought I was lying when I said I'd have Alarm Bells 2: Electric Boogaloo out soon, didn't you? Please ignore the fact that it's been juuuust under four months since the original fic, and enjoy draft #4! This is the longest I've spent on one fic! SW credit goes, of course, to @lumosinlove <3

TW for mentioned panic attacks

The door closed with a dull thud. Choking silence fell over the entire room before a cold, brittle, furious voice asked, “what the hell was that?”

Arthur swallowed around the dryness of his mouth and shook his head.

“What the hell was that?” Remus repeated. His temper was rare—Arthur had never seen him truly angry, but the tic at the edge of his jaw told a different story.

“I’m sorry,” he managed as he picked his clipboard up off the floor. “To—to all of you, I’m sorry.”

“I respect you a lot, Coach,” Dumo said, cutting Remus off before he could continue. “But that was out of line. Tonight’s game was bad. We all know that, especially Cap. That doesn’t excuse putting the blame on one person or throwing things.”

“You’re right.” He swallowed again and looked around the rest of the locker room; every other player stared at the ground, avoiding his gaze. Bitterness tinged his teeth—he was acting like the coach he had always promised he wouldn’t be. “I’m disappointed in myself for tonight’s game, and I took it out on all of you. Pascal is right, that wasn’t fair. I hope you can accept my apology and forgive me for losing my temper like that.”

“We’re not the ones you need to ask, though, are we?” James said from his stall without sparing him a glance.

Arthur suppressed a wince. He had been so preoccupied with his frustration at himself that he didn’t even notice the growing tension in Sirius’ body, nor the way he began leaning away as Arthur ranted. The same mask of fear, false control, and misery had painted Sirius’ face as when his mother—god, he looked at Arthur like he looked at that horrible woman—came to forcibly trade him to the Snakes. “You all deserve an apology,” he corrected. “But you’re right.”

“Excuse me for a minute,” Remus muttered as he stood and headed toward the door. They watched him go without a word.

“How can I make this up to you?” Arthur asked.

Finn’s shoulders sagged. “Don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.” A door down the hall creaked, and he prayed Sirius wasn’t suffering alone anymore.

“Apologize to Cap,” Dumo said.

“Absolutely.”

“Don’t—” Leo faltered, then pressed his lips together. “Don’t tell us we all share blame as a collective, then make Cap take the weight. That’s a shitty thing to do.”

Arthur’s throat tightened. “It is. I never should have done that to any of you.”

A few beats of quiet passed before Kuny raised his hand; Arthur nodded to him. “Don’t yell when angry, please. Very loud. We already know when you are upset.”

“I’m sorry, Evgeni. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Same as Kuny.”

“Can you give us specifics about what we did, next time?”

“Please don’t throw your clipboard.”

“I’ll stay another hour to go through tape, if that’s what it takes.”

“Try not to interrupt us, please.”

For the next five minutes, Arthur noted down every single suggestion he heard; several were followed by murmurs of agreement. “Anyone else?” he finally asked. The boys shook their heads. “Thank you for telling me. I promise I’ll do better in the future, and—”

The knock on the door was soft, but it echoed throughout the room and sent a bolt of nervousness through Arthur’s heart. Remus poked his head in a second later. “Coach, can we borrow you for a second?”

Arthur set his clipboard down and headed into the hall without hesitation.

Sirius…if he was being honest, Sirius was a wreck. His eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks were pink; a tissue was crumpled into little more than atoms in his fist. Still, he kept his chin up. Arthur hated the idea that Sirius thought he needed to brace himself with faux confidence.

“I’m sorry.”

Sirius’ lower lip wobbled once. “Thank you.”

“You kept them going out there even when they were ready to give up. We didn’t win, but we kept playing because of your leadership. Thank you.” He received a curt nod in response and pointedly ignored the tremor in both of Sirius’ hands. “I took my frustration out on you, which was wrong for many reasons, the least of which being that you don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Sirius, I truly am sorry for everything that just happened in there.”

“Apology accepted,” Sirius said. His voice was rough, but steady. “The guys didn’t deserve that, either.”

“I know. I apologized to them as well.”

“Good.” He sniffled once, then held his hand out for Arthur to shake. “In that case, I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

Remus waited by the locker room door with an entirely neutral expression that would have unsettled Arthur if it didn’t melt into something soft and tired when he wrapped an arm around Sirius’ waist. “Ready?” he asked quietly.

The gentle buzz of conversation vanished as they entered again; Arthur sent them on their way with wishes for a good night’s sleep and a promise to talk more in the morning, and they trooped out in a tight group. As soon as the last of them disappeared down the hallway, he sat down in the nearest stall with a heavy sigh.

“That was impressive,” a voice remarked from the door. The bench creaked as Moody sat down next to him with a huff. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“Figured. Cap forgave you?”

“Thankfully.” Arthur rubbed his eyes until he saw spots. “Christ, Alastor, I sent him into a panic attack.”

“Asking what you can do to be better was a good move for all of them. That’ll serve you well in the long run.”

“I’m just grateful Loops didn’t break my kneecaps,” he laughed humorlessly. He stared down at the clipboard and the notes crammed into the margins for a long moment. “How did I fuck up that badly?”

Moody shrugged. “You’re human. You got upset. Don’t do it again. While you were in the hall, they were all saying how you didn’t seem like yourself, so I’d take that as a sign you’re doing something right. Just pay attention next time, and take some deep breaths.”

“You sound like Molly.”

A heavy hand landed on the back of his shoulder and gave him a light shake. “She’s a smart woman. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make sure my candy jar isn’t empty again. You have a team of locusts, Weasley.”

Arthur smiled at his retreating back. “Yeah, but they’re our locusts. You know you love ‘em.”

Moody’s glare was nothing but fond.

#sirius black #arthur weasley #remus lupin #james potter #pascal dumais #leo knut #finn ohara #kuny #coops #alastor moody #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #alarm bells

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andvys · 3 years

Text

Longing (part 5)

Warnings: little bit of angst, mentions of a shitty father, mentions of mental abuse, alcohol consumption, fluff

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

The following days you and Ellie were a little awkward around each other and your friends definitely picked up on that.

Ellie hurt you and you hurt her but that wasn’t the reason for your weird behavior towards each other. You would forgive each other everything, no matter how much you both would act like you hated one another.

You were currently sitting with Joel on his porch, enjoying a hot cup of coffee he made you. He always invited you to come over to just talk and you loved it, you loved spending time with him in general. Just sitting and talking to him behind the safe walls of Jackson or going out on patrols, killing infected and having each other’s backs, you knew you could always count on him no matter what and you hoped you gave him the same feeling. He truly was like a father to you.

You still haven’t talked about what happened after leaving Ellie’s place the other day, when you ran into him, with tears streaming down your face. After he managed to calm you down he asked what happened and you just told him about how you almost died that day because of the man that attacked you and that you were scared of dying and that’s why you broke down. That was obviously a lie you weren’t afraid to die and Joel knew that but he wasn’t going to pressure you into talking about it when you weren’t ready to talk. He always gave you as much time as you needed and waited for you to speak up about it yourself.

Taking a sip of your coffee you looked at Joel only to find him watching you already. He knew you wanted to talk about something.

“Can I tell you something?” You asked.

“Of course.” He gave you a smile, holding his own cup of coffee.

“My- my father was a horrible person and I’m afraid that I’m the same.” You said, looking down into your cup.

“Why would you think that, sweetheart.” He asked. He knew a few stories about your dad.

“He always made it clear how much he hated me and he always hurt me with his words and I swore to myself that I would never hurt someone like that but I did and now I can’t forgive myself for it.” Joel watched you, feeling bad that the person who was supposed to love you the most hurt you this way.

“People make mistakes (y/n), we say things we don’t mean and accidentally hurt people that we care about. If you were anything like your father you wouldn’t feel bad for having hurt someone.” He said, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“I hurt Ellie.” You said looking down you were ashamed, fearing that he would hate you now. Feeling tears build up in your eyes.

“I figured it had something to do with her.” He said. Looking up at him, he gave you a sympathetic smile.

“I- did she say something?”

“No she just talks to me when she absolutely has to but Jesse mentioned something about you and Ellie fighting.” He said.

“We got into a fight and she hurt me but she apologized the next day but I wasn’t ready and I said something hurtful.” You said, letting a tear fall.

“Did you mean it?” He asked.

Looking back at him “No! Not at all.”

“It’s okay kid, you were hurt because of whatever she said to you, your reaction was pretty normal. You can still make things right by apologizing and showing her that you care.” Joel said, looking at you.

“I apologized when we were on patrol together but I still feel like shit about it.” You said, wiping your tears away.

“It’s okay, kid. She knows she probably feels like that too because of your fight. Forgiving yourself is hard but when the other person forgave you than you can do it too.” He said. He was worried about you.

“Don’t beat yourself up (y/n).”

Nodding at his words, you gave him a small smile. “Thank you Joel, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Smiling at your words he pulled you into a hug.

“I care about you kid, I don’t want you to feel bad.” He said.

You almost started crying again at his words. No one ever told you that they care about you, well Ellie did but that was after she hurt you.

“I care about you too Joel, thank you for everything.” Hugging him back.

“Can I ask you something now?” Pulling away you looked at the older man.

“Of course.” Curious about what he wanted to ask you.

“Do you like Ellie?”

Getting shy at that you looked away. “I- Ellie and I aren’t exactly best friends but I do like her, I tried not to but I like her.”

Joel smiled at your words. He has seen the way you and Ellie interacted with each other, to everyone else it seemed like you just liked to annoy each other but he saw the longing looks on your faces whenever the other would look away. He hoped that you two would figure it out someday.

What both of you didn’t know was that Ellie heard the whole conversation, she was leaving her place when she heard you and Joel talk, she wanted to keep walking but then she heard you mention her name and she decided to listen out of curiosity what you were saying about her.

She thought you’d tell Joel about what she said to you but she was surprised when you spared him the details on all the horrible things she said instead you were talking down on yourself, feeling bad about hurting Ellie and then you even confessed that you liked her. She was definitely more than surprised at your confession, she was happy to hear you say that you liked her. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of you liking her back.

The next day you were all hanging out at Dina’s place, having a few drinks, you noticed Dina hasn’t even touched hers. Curiously looking at her you tried catching her attention without saying anything, not wanting to interrupt Ellie’s and Jesse’s conversation about video games but you noticed she was staring at Jesse. Smirking slightly you knew they’d probably gotten back to together already.

“I’m telling you Jesse my method is way better than yours.” Ellie stated.

“Alright, alright you’re right Ellie.” He put his hands up in surrender. “I’m always right.” Ellie said, smirking she took a sip of her drink.

Jesse groaned at her words, he sat down next to Dina throwing an arm around her shoulder, she leaned into him.

You and Ellie shared a look. “Whoa when did that happen again?” Ellie asked, laughing.

“A couple of days ago.” Dina said, smiling.

“Man you guys are so weird.” You said.

Ellie nodded at your words, winking at Jesse. She was right about them getting back together. Taking a sip of her drink.

“Enough about us how was patrol the other day guys?” Jesse asked.

Ellie immediately started coughing and you looked away, finding Dina’s living room pretty interesting all of the sudden.

Dina smirked at Jesse, both of them aware that something happened while you were on patrol. You and Ellie were always weird around each other but that was a different type of weird now.

“We found a gun store.” Ellie said awkwardly. Why did she have to mention the gun store, now you had to think about you both making out against the wall.

“Yeah... it was a nice gun store.” You said looking at Ellie, you noticed her cheeks were deep red.

“It was a nice gun store indeed.” Ellie agreed, staring at you.

Both Jesse and Dina watched your weird interaction, they both wanted to laugh at your embarrassed faces. Clearly something happened at the gun store.

The room suddenly felt too hot, taking off your hoodie you were left in a shirt, your hair was braided back that meant that everyone could see the marks on your neck that Ellie left when you were making out. You totally forgot about them.

Dina gasped making Jesse turned his head at his girlfriend to see what she’s looking at, noticing her eyes were on your neck his eyes widened at the obvious hickeys. Ellie looked at them weirdly, she looked back at you also seeing the marks now. She felt herself blush even more, remembering how she kissed down your neck.

“Umm wh- what are you guys staring at?” You asked nervously, rubbing your neck.

“What’s that on your neck (y/n)?” Dina asked, smirking at you. You looked over at Jesse to find him smirking as well and Ellie looking looking down at her drink with a blush on her face.

Realizing what she was referring to, you forgot that Ellie gave you hickeys. Feeling embarrassed now you avoided their eyes.

“Um- I- a bug bit me.” You said. Ellie laughed quietly at your ridiculous explanation. You sent a glare her way, making her shut up.

“A bug in the winter?” Jesse asked, smirking.

“Yeah, it was a special bug.” You said. Feeling so stupid right now.

Nodding his head at your words “does the special bug happen to go by the name of Ellie?” Jesse said, making Dina laugh.

Both you and Ellie sat there awkwardly not knowing how to react to their teasing. Ellie looked at you, you looked so embarrassed right now she felt bad for you. “Hey Dina, remember when I walked in on you sucki-“

“Whoa Ellie alright stop we got it.” Dina said, embarrassed. Jesse laughed beside her making her slap his chest.

You giggled, thankful that the attention was off you now, you send Ellie a small smile, her eyes lighting up at the smile that was directed at her.

“Anyone up for never have I ever?” Jesse asked.

“What are you 12?” Ellie asked.

“You’re never too old to play a drinking game Ellie.” Jesse said.

“I’m in, I wanna get drunk.” You said, Jesse happy about your answer he waited for Ellie’s answer.

Looking at Ellie, she agreed.

“What about you Dina?” You asked curiously, raising your eyebrows at her.

“Oh I’m still feeling a bit under the weather, I’ll pass.” She said.

“Alright anyways, never have I ever made out with a guy.” Jesse said

No one had to drink, well Dina but she wasn’t drinking. You all waited for someone to drink but everyone was just sitting there awkwardly. Ellie looked at you curiously, she knew you liked girls but she always wondered if you’ve ever made out with guys before.

“That was lame Jesse, Dina’s not drinking, you’re obviously straight and well we are gay.” You said. Ellie snapped her head towards you, nodding at your words.

“Yeah let me try again, never have I ever made out with a girl.” You and Ellie groaned at that making Jesse smirk, Dina laughed at you.

“What? You said you wanted to get drunk I’m just helping out.” Jesse said, smirking at you. Shaking your head, you took a sip of your drink.

“Alright never have I ever had a crush on the opposite sex.” You said laughing at Jesse, knowing he was the only one who has to drink.

He glared at you taking a sip.

“My turn never have I ever had sex in the woods.” Ellie said teasingly, making Dina and Jesse very uncomfortable. Jesse took another sip, giving Ellie a death glare.

You laughed, “how many times did you catch them doing the dirty?” You asked Ellie, grinning at her.

“Too many damn times.” Ellie said with a disgusted face.

Jesse chimed in “never have I ever made out at a gun store.” He said, smirking at you and Ellie. Dina laughed at the face you made.

You and Ellie both took a sip awkwardly.

“So Ellie was the bug?” Jesse asked teasingly

“No your mother was.” You said, making Ellie snort, she laughed at the face Jesse made.

Dina laughed at Jesse’s facial expression “I always knew your mother was gay Jesse.” You laughed at that.

“Ugh shut up guys.” Jesse groaned.

By the time you were done playing the stupid game all of you were drunk, well except for Dina and she was currently trying to get Jesse to go to bed.

“I’m gonna go home.” You slurred, getting up you tripped over your own feet making Ellie laugh she got up to catch you only for her to lose balance as well, you both fell backwards on the couch, landing on top of Ellie. You started giggling. She started laughing too. Looking down at her, you saw that she was already staring at you. “Hi.” You whispered.

“Hey.” Grinning at you.

“Whoah we leave you guys for five minutes and you already making babies.” Jesse slurred letting himself fall on the couch.

You quickly got off Ellie, sitting down next to her.

“We can’t make babies.” Ellie said.

“That’s what I said to Dina too and boom we got baby on the way.” Jesse said.

“What?!”

“Baby?”

Both you and Ellie said at the same time, snapping your head towards Jesse.

“Jesse!” Dina came back into the room having heard what he said.

“You’re pregnant?” You asked, standing up walking towards her

“Yes, I wanted to tell you guys but I was waiting for the right moment but yeah.” She said, putting a hand on her belly she smiled at you.

“Oh my god I’m gonna be an auntie.” You started crying, it was probably because you were drunk, babies usually didn’t excite you.

Ellie and Jesse started laughing at you.

“Aww (y/n) don’t cry. Come here.” Dina said opening her arms, you hugged her.

“Guess what (y/n)? Jesse said.

Pulling away from Dina you turned around looking at Jesse.

“Ellie’s gonna be an auntie too.” Wiggling his eyebrows at you, “our child is gonna have two gay aunts.” Jesse smirked at you.

“You mean two hot gay aunts.” You said grinning at him making Ellie blush.

“I’m gonna be a daddy, I mean I am one already.” He winked at Dina making her roll her eyes “but yeah you know what I’m talking about.”

Ellie looked at Jesse disgusted.

“Yeah I don’t know about that Jesse. The only daddy I see here in this room is me.” You said grinning at him making Ellie and Dina snort at that.

“Ellie get your girl.” Jesse said trying to get up, he fell back again, too drunk to get up by himself Dina went over to help him.

Ellie got up, putting her jacket on she gave yours too. Putting it on. You said your goodbyes to Dina and Jesse. Hugging them both, congratulating them on Dina’s pregnancy, Ellie watched you, smiling. She congratulated them as well.

Ellie opened the door for you letting you out first, she was about to go out when Jesse grabbed her arm making her look at him “have fun Ellie! And don’t make babies.” He said, smirking at her. She looked at him confused “how are we sup- you know what go to sleep dumbass.” She said before leaving.

Stepping out, she looked at you standing there admiring the snow falling, you looked so adorable right at this moment, she’d have to make a drawing of you based on this moment. But she noticed you looked a little sad all of the sudden. Must be the alcohol Ellie thought to herself.

“Come on (y/n), I’m gonna bring you home.”

“I don’t have a home.” You said, looking down.

“What do you mean (y/n)? Of course you do.” She said, not understanding what you were saying.

“I have a house but I don’t have a home.” You said, sad about having to go home into an empty house. You suddenly looked so small to her, with your guard down. You usually looked so tough and fierce, always ready for any situation but right now you were just a sad girl.

Understanding it more clearly now, feeling bad that you’re feeling this way.

“Do- do you maybe wanna come back with me? Just for tonight?” Ellie asked you, shyly.

Looking at her you noticed she was anxiously waiting for your answer. Blinking a couple of times you nodded your head.

Ellie smiled at you, offering her hand to you, you took it intertwining your fingers with hers you walked back to her place.

Arriving back at her place, she opened the door for you letting you go inside, following you she closed and locked the door, taking her jacket off. You took yours off as well.

“Umm I’m gonna give you something to wear so you don’t have to sleep in your clothes.” She said, grabbing something from her drawer.

You looked around, looking at the video games she had laying around. Grabbing one of them, you noticed it was the one Ellie and Jesse were having a discussion about earlier.

“Here.” Ellie gave you one of her shirts. It was an old band tee, you wondered where she got it from.

“Joel gave it to me a long time ago.” Ellie said, you smiled at that.

“I’m gonna change.” You said.

“Yeah sure.”

You went into the bathroom, getting out of your clothes you put Ellie’s shirt on. It was big and comfy, you’ve never seen her wear it.

Splashing your face with some cold water you looked at yourself in the mirror, you had a permanent scar on your forehead now from the incident at the old police station, it kind of pissed you off but it also made you look kind of badass.

Leaving the bathroom you saw Ellie putting a pillow on her couch.

“I’m taking the couch you know.” You said to her.

“Umm yeah no.” Ellie argued, sitting down so you wouldn’t.

“I’m not gonna take your bed while you sleep on the couch that is probably super uncomfortable.” You said walking towards her.

She looked you up and down, loving the way her shirt looked on you, looking at your legs, she licked her lips, you looked so cute and sexy at the same time. Ellie could get used to seeing you like this.

“I’m taking the couch.” You said, standing in front of her, you put your hands on your hips.

“No you won’t.” Ellie said, already laying down so you can’t.

You really didn’t want to take her bed while she was sleeping on the couch. You wouldn’t mind sleeping on the bed with her either.

“Alrighty then, make some space.” You said.

Ellie looked at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“If we can’t agree on who gets to sleep on the couch, we just have to share it then.” You said.

“Oh.” Ellie started smirking at that. If Ellie knew you’d be okay with sleeping with her she wouldn’t have put her pillow on the couch.

“Or we just share the bed?” Ellie suggested.

“Even better.” You said. Grabbing her pillow you put it back on the bed, sitting down on her bed you looked over at Ellie. She was getting out of her clothes, you looked away quickly not wanting to stare.

After she put on a shirt she turned off the lights, the room illuminated by the moonlight now. She walked over to the bed, laying down she got under the blanket, holding it open for you she looked at you noticing how shy you’ve gotten. “Well come on.” Laying down beside her, she put the blanket over you. You faced each other, staring into each other’s eyes. Scooting closer to her, you smiled at her, she smiled back. She moved your hair out of your face, running her thumb over your scar. Watching her, you tried to read her emotions.

“Ellie?” You whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” You asked, shyly.

Smiling at you “you don’t have to ask”

You smiled at her words, moving closer to her you kissed her lips softly, moving her lips against yours. Staying like this for enjoying the kiss. Running her hand down your back, she squeezed your butt lightly making you moan, she smirked into the kiss, moving her tongue into your mouth, she gripped your hips tightly, pushing you back she moved on top of you, making out with you softly, she ran her hand up and down your thigh. Pulling away from the kiss she started planting kisses on your neck, making you moan again. “Ellie.” You sighed softly.

Grabbing her face you smashed your lips back against hers, she smirked at your neediness. Moving her hand under your shirt she touched the soft skin on your hips. Enjoying the touch of her hands on your skin.

Your hands started roaming her body, you loved having her on top of you. You wish you could stay like this forever.

Pulling away from her after a while of making out, you were both breathless, Ellie smiled down on you. Getting off you she pulled you into her, hugging you tightly, you put your arm around her waist hugging her.

Looking up at her you noticed she was already staring back at you, you smiled softly at each other. Kissing her chin softly, her smile widened. Brushing your hair behind your ear she plants a kiss on your forehead. You kissed her lips softly, one last time before going back to hugging her. Feeling yourself getting tired, you whispered a good night to Ellie.

“Good night, babe.” Ellie stayed up for a while longer while you were sleeping in her arms. She looked down at you lovingly. She never thought she’d ever have you in her arms, kissing her and sleeping cuddled up to her but she was so happy in this moment, enjoying every second of it she hoped this wasn’t the last time.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #tlou imagines #tlou ellie

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Note

Hello again! Can I have prompt 46 with Ash? Tnx

Recently I told my friend that I had a lot of requests about him and she laughed about it. She doesn't really like him, but she gives him credit since he looks good.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, extreme paranoia, isolation, desperation, mentions of kidnapping,overprotectiveness, mentions of self-harm, Stockholm syndrome

Prompt 46: "Can I...can I kiss you?"

It was nothing less than a miracle that someone like you existed, someone who was cleansed from all the sins of this world and the corruption of humans. You were radiating with everything Ash had wanted for this world, a world that he wanted to give to you. It was the minimum from what she should and would do for you, it was his duty as your very own guardian angel. A role he was utterly dedicated too, devoted to his very own angel who forgave him his sins every time.

It was true, you had forgiven him his crimes already a long time ago as everything around you had started to fade away and you had lost count of how long exactly you had been stuck in here. Somewhere around one and a half years would be your expectation, looking on how the seasons had changed through the large and closed windows which symbolized your loss of freedom. But you didn't mind anymore.

You only needed and wanted Ash, your guardian angel.

There was clear tension in his body, you could feel how he stiffened up under your embrace. He had never really received that sort of affection before from anyone nor would he have ever wanted it from all those worthless lives walking around freely. You were the only person he actually wanted any sort of touches from. That was how pure you were, even causing someone like him craving something and falling victim to his own desires. And it was his own fault for being so weak-minded. He didn't deserve you yet letting you perish outside would be an even greater sin. He had to keep you safe.

"My Queen...what are you doing?"

Being able to keep his composure was important in front of you, though he remembered to have failed multiple times in the past already. Severe punishment was the only thing he could think of to atone for his failures for not being good enough, for proving himself to be so incredibly useless. Even now he could feel some unhealed wounds aching a bit, but you didn't have to know about his weakness and incompetence.

You blinked slightly confused up at him when he asked you such an obvious question, but it soon turned into slight giggling that instantly plunged Ash's heart into painfully warm emotions and forced his eyes to get wet. It had taken a while until you had been able to look so happy after he had quickly rescued you from all the evil waiting to devour you. The distress he had felt back then could never be put in words and no burns, knifes and broken bones had been able to make up for what you had been suffering under. Even now it remained as a anxiety deeply stuck in his heart. But looking at you now, smiling at him and not staring with wide eyes filled with fear at him, was worth much more than his whole life could ever repay you.

"I’m hugging you. It’s just that you always look so worried and stressed over my safety and never appear to take a rest. Just now you did as well so I thought this might help you a bit. A strong hug can be more worth than thousand words after all. That’s what my mother told me at least when I was younger.”, you replied softly, pressing your face deeper into his chest with a content look on your face.

There was nothing Ash could think of for a few moments, instead he seared the scene in front of him deep into his brain, how you were currently buried into his chest, looking so happy and peaceful. So stunning and precious.

Tears were quick to escape his eyes only seconds later, his insides stirring up with warmth that stung him and yet baked him with something he hadn’t felt in so long. Comfort and peace.

This was exactly why he had to protect you with his very own life, no one was allowed to snuff out the light you carried inside of you and that was able to even share it’s warmth with him. You possessed too much kindness to understand, but normal humans only destroyed what they touched, ruining it with their greed.

He wouldn’t let them do the same to you.

He would kill everyone who would even do as much as getting too close.

He just had to guarantee that you would live.

But first of all he had to calm himself down or otherwise he might worry you even more than he seemed to have done already. The tears were quickly wiped away with his sleeves before Ash was able to look at you again, still feeling like he wanted to continue crying. His heart felt like it might burst at any moment.

“You have so much warmth and love inside of you that I don’t think I deserve any of it. You shouldn’t even be concerned about me, I merely do what I have to do as your guardian. If you were to fall victim to this damned place, I would perish as well. What use is an angel who can’t even protect their chosen one?”

Pain was twisting his voice and face a bit when he dared to imagine how a world without you would be, a world filled with grief and darkness for him. Letting his guard down would be a fatal mistake, he had seen the worst of this world and the humans and he knew that it would happen again. That was why he had to be like this for you were his heart beating outside his chest. If something were to ever happen to you...

The angel hadn't even noticed that he had already started crying again, fist tightened and body shaking whilst getting lost in fears of losing the one good and bright thing this world had still left.

"But for me you're more than just a guardian angel. You're my angel and I want you to feel happy as well. I want you to feel loved as well. You do so much for me, but I feel like I only cause you stress and uneasiness. Shouldn't you be happy because of me?", you asked him in slight protest, feeling sadness whilst seeing the man you had come to love like this again because of you. You had never seen him truly relaxed nor had you ever been able to show him your feelings. He wouldn't let you, not thinking that he deserved you.

His reaction was instant, suddenly falling on his knees upon hearing from what you had said that he had disappointed you yet again, the visible look of your sorrow only stabbing his fear deeper into his very soul.

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't know that you felt this way only because I was so selfish to only think about myself like this! I don't deserve your forgiveness and accept any sort of-"

When he felt the soft sensation of your hands cupping his stained cheeks, he abruptly stopped his rambling, trying to not choke on his own breath that had gotten irregular.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't want to hear you saying such things about yourself. Don't you understand? I am unhappy whenever you are like this, seeing yourself as so worthless and not deserving of my love. That's what hurts me so much. You're rejecting my feelings. I love you, Ash. And I want to know if you do too. Because if you do, please stop talking like this and behave so distantly."

Your voice conveyed every bit emotion that was going on inside of you in that moment, something that Ash noticed with widened eyes as well.

Silence was cut short by him when he realized that you wanted something crucial from him which he would gladly give you. He had never considered that you would ever consider his love as something you wanted, consider him as someone you loved. When had been the last time someone had been truly kind to him and loved him? He couldn't remember anymore.

"Of course I do. You should never doubt my feelings for you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. It's impossible to function without you.", he managed to reply with a shaking voice as he grabbed both of your hands in his own.

"Then why are you acting like this? Everyone deserves someone who loves them. Without love it's a very painful life, isn't it? That's why I am hurting as well. Let me love you and I promise that you'll be able to feel peace as well.", you muttered slightly embarrassed out, leaning your head down so your forehead could rest against his own.

Slight sobs were starting to catch up to Ash as he was staring in pure awe at you.

"Thank you. I'll be better and make sure that I won't cause you sadness anymore.", he pressed out, tightening his grip on your hands only the slightest bit so he wouldn't hurt you.

"I'm glad to hear that.", you replied with a sincere smile on your face, joy stirring your heart up just by seeing that for the first time since he had abducted you, Ash was looking relieved and less tense. He just looked extremely grateful.

"May I ask you for a favor then?", you requested with a certain idea in mind.

"I'll do anything for you.", Ash replied, sounding very emotional.

"I want to do something for you for once since you normally do anything for me."

Hesitation and clear dislike instantly shadowed his face, the thought of him asking something from you going against Ash's belief in all the wrong ways. You shouldn't have to do him favors.

"It doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be a really simple thing. Just...something that I can do for you this once. Please.", you begged slightly, seeing the angel already struggling. You knew how he felt about such things, he hated letting you do something for him and he had never done it before either. Ash saw it only upon himself to serve you which was another thing that sometimes made you feel guilty. You wanted to do more for him as well.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

Maybe that had been more a slip of his tongue, but he had been slightly panicking since hadn't want to sadden you again nor had he wanted you to do physical work for him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

So when he had stared for a moment at your face, eyes locked on your lips, he had considered somewhere deep in his mind possibilities which he had been fantasizing about a few times before, but hadn't thought that they would actually have a change of happening.

In his opinion they were still sinful, it would take a while for him to get used to the idea that you wanted to receive physical affection and love from him. The first impulse when he realized what he had said was instantly apologizing, only to be interrupted before he could even start saying anything.

You had already leaned down to fulfill him his wish before he could take it back again.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere ash #yandere ash landers

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algumaideia · 2 years

Text

Nico decided to not say a word and just remain looking to the horizon as Octavian got closer to where he was. Maybe if he ignored, the augur would go away. And if he didn't, Nico was curious to know how Octavian would threaten him.

However Octavian just sat at his side and stayed quiet. For some moments they both just appreciated the view of the camp. The silence was weird.

"You struggled a lot to put Hazel into the legion."

Nico became alert, this couldn't go well.

"It would be a pity if all that hard work was thrown to the wind by your sister past being revealed, wouldn't it?"

The grass around Nico started to die, he immediately held his sword. He wouldn't let Octavian threaten his sister this way. But before he could say anything Octavian giggled.

"You would do anything to protect your loved ones."

Nico didn't want to waste time with Octavian's bullshit.

"If you do anything to Hazel-"

"We are very similar, you know?" Octavian turns to Nico and smiles softly "I don't like it. This is actually pretty bad."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Octavian stood up.

"If I was you I would reflect about what that means, doing anything for your loved ones. What that means to you, to your future. Just think, do you really want to go into that path?"

And with that Octavian went away without letting Nico answer or understand the conversation.

...

Throughout the months that followed whenever Nico thought about that conversation it always seemed like a dream. It was so weird that it happened on real life.

But he understood now.

With Octavian's words on his mind Nico threw the food in the hole he dug. It wasn't that difficult to discover the augur's favorite dish. Reyna wasn't very open, but she had been talking a lot about Octavian. Not the way she felt about the situation though.

The thoughts about Reyna made Nico feel guilty. The fact he didn't tell her and wouldn't allow her to see Octavian made him feel worse. However he needed to do that alone.

Nico started saying the words of the spell in Greek. He was all sweaty, the last time he summoned a ghost it ended up really bad.

When Octavian's ghost appeared, Nico wasn't even a bit calmer. He tensed up more, anticipating angry screams, nasty acusations, sarcasm, despite, hatred, disgust. However Octavian just starred him, emotionless.

Somehow this was worst. The silent felt judmental to Nico. Hitting on his face what he had done, what he let happen. He didn't know how to apologize, how to deal with the suffocating guilty. So he also stayed quiet. Feeling worse at each minute of quietude.

Then Octavian spoke:

"So, why did you bring me here?"

Octavian's tone of voice wasn't mean as Nico expected, but just bored.

"I killed Bryce."

Octavian expression didn't change. Nico looked away.

"He... he was threatening Reyna." He didn't remember what happened very well, but it was so hard anyway "He said he would tell everyone about her father and that would kill her."

"I didn't ask him to do that"

Octavian's voice sounded surprised and kind of angry.

"I know. I didn't at first, but Reyna convinced me and-"

"So she knows."

The way Octavian sounded relief hurt Nico.

"Yeah." Nico's breathing was getting faster "I just exploded. I made Bryce become a ghost without memories and voice and sent him straight to the Underworld."

Nico looked to Octavian's eyes.

"And then I let you die. I know it is wrong of my part to come here and ask your help after what I did to you. But I don't know where else I should go. After the battle what to said to me kept coming back to my mind again and again. And you said I should reflect about this path, about my choices"

Nico's hand was shaking. He was about to cry.

"But how can I stop it? What should I do to don't go there again? What should I do to-"

"To not end up like me?"

Octavian opened a sad and sarcastic smile.

"Maybe you should forgive yourself. I forgave you, a long time ago actually. I know this sound stupid, but guilty it can eat you. But to be honest, I don't know. I have no idea how to get away with this sort of thing, how to make sure you'll not do this sort of thing again. But I think you can do it. You have the support I never had. And you didn't do the things I did to have some minimum respect."

Octavian looked to sky, with a thoughtful expression.

"It is very hard to run away from it. It always seemed impossible to me. And I know this sounds very stupid, but just don't let it consume you, okay? This thing that makes you do all those crazy things. Don't let it take control."

And then Octavian disappeared.

#octavian #hoo #octavian hoo #nico di angelo #octavian and nico #octavian and nico friendship #octavian cinematic universe #long post #dead octavian #i really want to have the imagination to write more posts about it #you know what? i'm proud of this prompt #i liked it very much

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