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reobsessed · 8 months

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Unfamiliar Waters

Pairing: Tav X Astarion, Reader X Astarion. Gender neutral. Content: Bathing, kissing, hair washing, fluff, comfort, slight conflict that gets resolved immediately, no sex, minor mention of torture. 1500 Words. Summary: You were in dire need of a bath after a harrowing fight outside the inn you were staying at. Unfortunately you find the tub already occupied by Astarion. In an attempt to bond with and get him out of there, you offer to wash his hair. Another short Astarion fic I started a while ago. Wanted to do something fluffy and intimate without any sex. Thanks again to Suri for edits and help with lines and the title!

You flung open the wooden doors, uncaring as wood chipped against lavender painted walls. Just as you were halfway through discarding your shirt, an indignant cry caught you off guard.

“What in the sweet hells, do you mind?!” The towel and toiletries fell from your hands. You’d never been very perceptive and today was no exception. Already fully submerged in the tub was Astarion; chest bare slumped over the side, a dripping copy of the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette in hand.

“Astarion?! I haven’t seen you in hours, is this where you’ve been?” You spluttered. “We really could have used your help. There was a fight right outside the inn. There’s absolutely no way you didn’t hear the commotion.”

“Some of us take pride in our appearances and besides, I needed time away from that festering group of ingrates.” As if to emphasise his point he shuddered. “You know, you could all learn a lot from me, starting with regular bathing.”

“And how exactly are any of us meant to bathe when you’re in the bathroom four hours every day?”

“Oh I don’t know, Baldur’s Gate has plenty of scenic rivers and lakes. I’m sure the bear has no problem leading each of you to nature’s finest bathhouse.”

You rubbed your temples with a freehand. As much as you loved this man, he could really start to grate on your nerves after a while. You scooped up your belongings and made your way over to him, arranging your towel neatly on the floor beside you.

He looked up from the paper disinterestedly. “As much as I love your company, dear, I hope you’re not planning on joining me. I hardly think this,” he gestured disapprovingly at the tub, “can fit us both.”

“Astarion, if there’s anything I can do to cut this exceedingly long bath short, I would be more than happy to assist.”

His eyes widened momentarily. How stupid of you, you hadn’t considered the implications of what you’d said.

“No, no, that's quite alright. I’ve still got my hair to wash and that’ll take at least another half an hour.”

Perching yourself on the edge of the tub beside him, you began rolling up your sleeves.

“Then allow me.” You smirked.

He flung the sodden paper to the floor and stared at you dumbfounded. “You mean you- wash my hair. I’m sitting here naked, dripping and gorgeous and all you want to do is ‘wash my hair’?”

“Couples do things for each other. Things outside of sex and combat, I might add,” you sniped back. Using your fingers, you began combing through his dampened locks.

“Without the sex, I suppose that leaves only the one thing we do together then.”

“That’s true.” His body tensed. “No, no wait- '' Flustered, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pressed your forehead against the back of his head. A feeble gesture, intended to soothe him and buy you enough time to explain.

“Just kidding,” you could hear the smirk in his voice, but you knew it wasn’t genuine.

“I like doing other things with you,” you mumbled into his curls. “I don’t care about the sex.” You relaxed your hold, allowing him to turn around to face you. Delicately, you reached out and wiped a stray piece of hair from his forehead. As you did so, his unnaturally pale cheeks took on a darker hue, perhaps from the heat or from your touch, you weren’t sure.

He cleared his throat and turned away again. “I see then. Well, this is as good a time as any to try something new.”

“Really?!” your head perked up. “I’m so excited, haven’t washed anyone else's hair since I left home.” You began swirling a hand in the tepid water, carefully choosing a spot faraway from where Astarion sat. “Did you and your siblings ever do this for each other? Like my family did,” you asked without thinking.

He shot you an incredulous glare, which soon contorted into sarcastic glee. “Oh, of course we did! And then in between our torture sessions we’d paint each others’ nails! What good fun it was.” His smile dropped and he fell backwards into the bath, splashing you in the process.

You scratched the back of your head. “Sorry I-”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Leave it, my love. No use dwelling on all that now.” You nodded your head in agreement, not that he could see you. “Come now, we don’t have all day.”

You hummed in agreement, looking over the various bottles that sat on a shelf beside the bath. Astarion was a very particular man and you didn’t wish to upset him by, god’s forbid, using the wrong fragrance. You gestured towards the selection of shampoo. “What’s your poison?”

“Hmm, I think today I‘m in the mood for jasmine- no wait- night orchid and ginseng- actually, that honey shampoo sounds positively delicious.”

“Might net you some unwanted attention from our camp bear,” you joked, hands sifting through the knots in his hair.

“Fair point. Alright then, I think I’d like to try that raspberry one, the one you got from that dear little market stall.”

The same one you liked to use.

With a gentle firmness you cupped the sides of his head. You hoped it was enough to stop him from turning around and seeing the pure glee etched onto your face.

“Alright, I need to get it wet, lean back,” you instructed, as you scooped up a handful of water.

He did as he was told and reclined backwards, eyes closed and squinted, anticipating the stream of water. Doing this for your brothers and sisters had been easy. Hells, you could get away with lobbing them in the river and they’d be just fine. Astarion, on the other hand, required a more delicate touch (even if he’d never admit to it) and you were more than happy to cater towards him.

With slow precision you poured the cooling water over his scalp, immediately pushing back any stray drops that threatened to drip down into his eyes.

Gods, how was it possible for such a man to be so beautiful and how was it that such a man had chosen you as his partner? Your hands stopped and your gaze lingered, as you took in his picturesque features.

An eyelash heavy with steam peeled open, giving you an inquisitive look.

“Enjoying the show, darling?” A thick, humid heat bloomed across your cheeks. “By all means, keep admiring me.”

“Shut up and close your eyes!” You grabbed the bottle from the side and began lathering it in your hands. The familiar fragrance filled your nostrils and despite having grown accustomed to having it as your own scent, you were looking forward to how it smelt on him.

You rubbed the foam through your fingers, fully enveloping his hair in a thick mousse. As your nails dragged across his scalp you heard him moan.

“That feels positively wonderful.”

“Oh yeah, like this?” you asked, repeating the same motions as before. He mmm-ed softly, sinking further into your hold. You paused for a second, this might be the most satisfied sound you’d ever heard coming from his lips, not a bad thing of course, given his past experiences.

His eyes were open again, staring up at you, face awash with bliss.

“Itching for a taste are we?” he goaded lightly.

There was no use dignifying that with a response. You brought your lips down upon his, his head still clasped in your hands. It was brief and sweet, reminiscent of those first kisses you’d once shared with young lovers. Unthinkable that such innocent yearning could be reclaimed so late in life.

Reluctantly you broke the kiss and pulled away.

“I do rather like that, you know…”

“I know and so do I.” You beamed. “Okay now can you please hurry up so I can have a bath,” you pleaded, peppering his mouth with more kisses.

“Always so demanding,” came his curt reply (the audacity). Nonetheless, he complied and finished up.

A deep sigh of relief escaped your lips after finally lowering yourself into freshly ran water. About halfway through wetting your hair, a freezing pair of hands on your shoulders caught you off guard.

“Astarion!” you shrieked. The little rogue had snuck up behind you.

“Oh, do be quiet, and don’t splash me. Wouldn’t do to get me wet again.” You watched as he rifled through the shampoo bottles disapprovingly. “We must go to the market together again soon, darling, just the two of us. I know just the product that’s perfect for your hair type, might do something about that helmet musk too.”

You opted to ignore that last dig, instead choosing to relish in the satisfaction of a warm bath and your lover threading his fingers through your hair. “I’d like that,” you hummed happily.

A contented silence descended over the room. You felt at peace and when you saw him hovering above you with that serene grin on his face, you knew he felt the same.

#astarion #astarion ancunin #tav x astarion #astarion x tav #reader x astarion #astarion x reader #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate #my fic #bg3 fic #fanfic #vampire

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rollo-rolls · 3 months

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Simpliciaty Sury Hair 4t3:

polycount: 28k

teen -> elder

custom thumbnail

original x

DOWNLOAD: SFS | PATREON (ALWAYS FREE)

Credits: @simpliciaty-cc and Nemiga

Please, no reuploading, no claiming as your own and no making profit out of my cc!

@xto3conversionsfinds @kpccfinds @sssvitlanz @simstifulccfinds and every cc blog, thank you if you reblog! ♥

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#s3cc #ts3cc #sims3cc #ts3 cc #ts3 #rollo's cc #creator: simpliciaty

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agentnatesewell · 2 months

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Omg when I saw that dress my exact first thought was "Suri wedding dress!!".

While I'm here in your inbox: Do you have Nuri wedding headcanons?

Hello hello PD! Ah! I am so happy that the dress made you think of Suri’s wedding dress 🥹. Truly, great minds think alike!

Wedding headcanons!

So, if I had my way, Suri would enter the Agency as Agent Batra-Sewell (for many reasons, but importantly, she doesn’t want the same title as Rebecca)

And is it too soon for Nate and Suri to get married after book three? No. They’ve already said they love each other, they’ve consummated their love at a picnic and on the communal pool table. They’ve lived together, with four roommates. And saved each other’s lives multiple times. Sure, he is too nervous to tell her his big huge secret but it’s going to take a lot more than a big, terrible thing to scare her away

Importantly, they’re both impulsive

Nate and Suri absolutely elope. It’s a sweeping notion, it’s romantic. It’s love. They don’t tell anyone, except they’ll call Adam on the way home from the chapel (and surely, the city has a very pretty all hours chapel that can accommodate them)

Of course, Nate has his wedding binders, and they will likely have a more formal wedding, because they want to celebrate their love more, and because it’s what he wants (she wanted the elopement). It’ll be at the small chapel in Wayhaven (secular). And the town will be invited to a big festival/block party sort of thing - the town raised Suri, and this will be her way of thanking them

In addition to the gorgeous gown with the flowers, here are some other wedding looks!

And of course! @dasburnfrau wrote an incredible story about Nuri getting eloped for the summer wayhaven summer exchange

#thank you so much for asking !!#btw suri will be obnoxious if anyone calls her agent batra and not batra-sewell #eloping >> small chapel wedding sorry nate #ask #twc #twc headcanons #nate x detective #otp: nuri

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simpliciaty-cc · 11 months

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SURY HAIR

✮ Y2K inspired low buns with spiked ends! Two versions available, with front braids and without (V2)! ✮

54 swatches and/or unlimited colors with “The Spectrum Collection” (Click for more info);

Toddler & Child version available;

Enabled for all genders;

HQ mod compatible;

Custom Shadow Map;

Smooth weighting;

Hat compatible;

All LOD’s;

Credits to Goppolsme for the hairline texture!;

[ DOWNLOAD ON MY BLOG ] - (Public Release: July 8th, 2023)

New CC two times a week on my Patreon page!

If you use please tag #simpliciaty in your pictures!

Thank you! ♥

#s4 #ts4 #ts4cc #s4cc #sims #sims4 #sims 4 #simpliciaty #sury #hair

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redrose10 · 4 months

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Here is Chapter 12! Sorry for the delay. I am feeling better, but I am still a little behind so I’m hoping the next chapter can be posted in a few days. We’re getting closer to the end!

Yoongi X Female Reader. CEO/Arranged Marriage AU

Summary: You were selected to marry the wayward CEO/Billionaire/Heir, Min Yoongi. You went into it with an open mind and heart determined to try and make it work. Yoongi on the other hand had no intention of ever letting you in let alone allowing himself to fall in love with you. Slowly you start to associate the smell of cinnamon and vanilla with the feelings of hurt and sorrow.

Word count: 2,053

Warnings: (May get updated as chapters progress): Arranged marriage, cheating/infidelity, hints of smut (Probably won’t get very explicit but we’ll see how it goes), Sexual Assault, Brief mentions of death, Reader grew up an orphan, General Angst, Swearing

Tag List: @gimeow @kam9404 @viankiss @baechugff @gaby-93 @kayleefriedchicken @igot7fairlyoddparents @jalexad @drrookie

Yoongi was too stunned to move or even speak. You on the other hand were impatient and wanted to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. Already with your shoes and coat on you walked back over to Yoongi jingling his keys in front of him, “Come on. Let’s get going.” When he still didn’t move you slammed the keys down in front of him, “Now Yoongi!”

He instantly jumped up and hustled after you. He had to admit he was really really starting to love this new take charge no bullshit Y/N.

Once in the car you punched in the address that Namjoon sent you and Yoongi began the drive over.

“What exactly did Namjoon say?”, he asked finally breaking the silence.

“I’ll let him explain everything, but I think that Suri used him to try and get to me so that she could have you.” Yoongi tried to comprehend, but you didn’t even give him the chance to ask for clarification.

“I just don’t understand what her problem is. Is it really worth ruining so many lives to keep you? I mean no offense Yoongi. You are really attractive and you can be nice when you want to be and you do have money, but aren’t there any other rich idiots she can chase after?”

Yoongi looked over at you with his brows furrowed. He wanted to take offense but you were right in a way so he knew it was best to let that one go. Instead he chose to focus on you calling him attractive instead bringing a slight tint of pink to his cheeks. He knew himself that he was attractive, but something about hearing you say it did something to him.

The two of you arrived at your destination and hastily made your way to the front door knocking several times. A few minutes went by before the door swung open revealing a somber Namjoon. He invited you both in offering some drinks before taking a seat on the couch. You and Yoongi sat across from him.

“Thank you both for coming here. Suri doesn’t know this address so there’s no way she could possibly show up. I wanted to make sure of that.”, he said clearing his throat.

“No problem. I think you should start from the beginning to catch Yoongi up on everything that happened and then we can go from there.”

He nodded, “Okay so I guess I’ll just get right to it then. The first time I met Suri was several months ago. I was leaving your place after one of our lessons and she was waiting for Yoongi out in the hallway. We talked a little and that was it. I met her a few more times in similar situations and each time we’d talk a little more. Then this one time Yoongi and Suri were coming back from doing you know what while I had just spent the evening comforting Y/N.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Oh please. If you were so innocent in all this we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

“Yeah well if you weren’t a womanizing cheating asshole then none of this would’ve happened to begin with.”, Namjoon spat back.

“Both of you stop it. This isn’t the time to act like children’.”, you shouted feeling overwhelmed by their bickering.

Namjoon and Yoongi glared at each other before continuing, “Sorry Y/N, you are right. Anyways, Suri asked if I wanted to grab drinks that night. I didn’t but I wanted to find out more about what Yoongi was up to with her so I agreed. After a few too many drink I let it slip that I was starting to develop feelings for Y/N but she told me that she would never cheat and wasn’t able to leave Yoongi. Suri told me that she had a way to make it so that Y/N wouldn’t want anything to do with Yoongi outside of what was required of her. At the time I thought she was genuinely trying to help me, but looking back it was clear she was just using me to get Yoongi for herself. She started asking me for information about the two of you that she could use. That’s how she knew about the cologne that Y/N had made. She knew that the two of you were going up to the cabin so she really increased the amount of texts she sent hoping that Y/N would come across it. She knew that Y/N was going to be at the charity auction and got Hwan involved.”

“Wait, wait, wait, so did you know that Hwan was going to come after me at the auction?”, you asked feeling hurt that he would possibly put you in danger like that.

“Uhh kind of. He was supposed to just say some creepy stuff to you and then I’d swoop in and chase him off so you’d feel safe with me and be upset with Yoongi for not being there for you. But he wasn’t supposed to follow you outside or actually touch you. He took it too far and then I couldn’t find you anywhere in the building. I know it was a really dumb idea and I don’t know what we were thinking.”

You scoffed, “Yeah you think? Thank God Yoongi was there to save me unlike you. I can’t believe you Namjoon!”

“You’re right Y/N and I’m sorry.”

What about the baby situation?”, you asked after taking a breath and wanting to move this long

“So a while ago she came up with this crazy plan to get pregnant by Yoongi. She really thought that was the key to force him to stay with her. I told her that was taking it way too far, but she didn’t care. She stopped her birth control, but never said anything about it. She would complain constantly that Yoongi refused to touch her without a condom. She came up with this ridiculous idea to have another guy get her pregnant and then say the baby was Yoongi’s. I told her she was fucking nuts and that would never work. I was getting to the point I wanted nothing to do with her or this plan. But I honestly didn’t think she would go through with it. Then one night she came over to my place really upset. She said she had just left Yoongi’s office and he had once again told her that their relationship was over. He was going to work on his marriage and that started with cutting her out of his life. He even had security remove her from the building when she wouldn’t leave. She seemed pretty devastated. I felt kind of bad for her, but honestly I was more relieved that she wouldn’t be able to go through with this crazy pregnancy plan. I asked her if she wanted a drink and one drink turned into two and then three and so on. Well one too many drinks later we ended up in my bed together. The next month she told me she was pregnant and was going to tell Yoongi the baby was his. We both knew I was the father based on the last time she had slept with anyone else and I wasn’t going to let her take the baby away from me. Then when we were at the police station she showed me the sonogram and that she was going to tell Jin about it. I got upset and told her that I wouldn’t let her take my baby away from me and if she told Jin about it then I would tell you both about her whole entire plan. So when I found out from Hwan that she went through with it after I had left I decided to call you.”

Your head was spinning round and round. You felt like you were in some kind of weird soap opera. You looked over and Yoongi looked just as shocked as you felt. “Surely she won’t let you get away with this that easily. What is going to happen to you?”, you asked turning your attention back to Namjoon.

“Well I’m definitely going to loose my job since I work for Hwan’s company now.”, he chuckled.

“But I don’t even care any more. There’s an innocent baby involved and I’m not going to let her continue this mess.”

He reached to the side table next to him and grabbed a brown folder. He handed it over to you before leaning back into the couch, “In this folder is everything you’d need to use against her. Copies of texts, emails, voicemail transcripts. There’s a copy of the prenatal dna test we had done that shows the baby is mine.”

Yoongi took the folder and began flipping through the papers humming and letting go of a sigh everytime he saw something interesting.

“I mean this is great and all, but there’s still the issue of the mixtape.”, you said.

“There is no tape.”, Namjoon spoke.

Yoongi and yourself both looked over at him with wide eyes.

“What?!,” you said in unison.

“Yeah she told me all about that and how she wished she still had a copy of it because it seemed to be the only thing that really scared you. Apparently there was a big data breach at her dads label a couple years ago. Some hackers got in trying to access account information. They had no choice but to wipe every system completely clean loosing a ton of music and other files. For some reason they didn’t have any backups. She said the label almost went bankrupt until they debuted that girl group. You know, Old Jeans or New Beans or something like that.”

You lightly chucked at his lack of pop culture knowledge.

He continued, “But yeah there is no tape. She’s been lying to you about it for years.”

Carefully you peaked over at Yoongi. His face was so red he almost looked purple. He was gripping the folder so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Slowly you reached over trying to not startle him and grasped his hand into yours.

“Umm so what do we do now? We can’t just tell her to stop it. If she’s willing to go through all of this there is no way she’s going to just backdown easily.”, you asked.

The three of you sat in silence for a while pondering your next move.

“I have an idea.”, Yoongi finally spoke before getting up. He extended a hand out to you and you accepted following after him towards the door.

Namjoon followed closely behind. “Thank you for coming clean Namjoon but I think we should take a break in our friendship.”, you said before walking off towards the car.

Yoongi walked just outside the doorframe before turning back to Namjoon.

“I’ll handle it from here. Thank you for providing us with the documents.”

“Sure if you need anything else just let me know.”

Yoongi went to walk down the few stairs leading to the walkway before turning around and making his way back up using his hand to stop the door just before it closed.

“Oh and Namjoon.”

The door swung back open and he gestured for Yoongi to continue.

“Stay the fuck away from my wife.”

He turned and walked back down the steps and over to his car where you were already waiting. Gently he placed the folder in the backseat before putting the car in reverse.

He was silent on the drive back to his place and you didn’t want to push him. Once he parked the two of you sat in the car for a while. Yoongi nervously drummed on the steering wheel.

“Hey are you okay?”, you asked concerned with his lack of emotion.

“Yeah I guess I just can’t believe I’ve been so stressed about this stupid mixtape when it didn’t even matter. I thought I’d feel relieved, but I’m just having a hard time processing it.”

“So what is your plan? How do you know it’ll work and not make things worse?”, you asked reaching over for his hand.

He chuckled before looking over at you with a smirk, “Oh it’ll work Y/N. But uh you are definitely not going to like it.”

#bts #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #cinnamon&vanilla #min yoongi #yoongi angst #yoongi x y/n #bts fanfic #bts x reader #yoongi au #bts yoongi #yoongi #bts fic #namjoon #ceo au #arranged marriage au

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pipi-un-kaki-in-pipi-land · 11 months

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your works are jaw dropping broOOO. gorgeous. a work of art. you SLAY at writing hcs i love it so much i really hope you can write more <33

demon slayer povs: the hashiras tending to your wounds

this comment really motivated me to write more of this TYSM ANON ily

wc: 1.1k>

Giyu

he’d probably complete the whole procedure silently, as he’s scared you’d waste your energy talking to him

you saw him carefully unwrapping the bandages and painstakingly wrapping it around your arm as you slightly winced at the pain

‘oh-, y/n, you okay? sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,”

you reassured him with a small nod as he gently continued to wrap the bandage, placing a kiss on it once he was done

“thanks hun,” you smiled weakly at him

“get well soon, darling,” he said before he got up to fetch some water

Iguro

just like giyu, he’d do it with silent treatment though you’d hear kaburamaru’s quiet hisses along the way

throughout the bandaging, he momentarily stopped as it reminded himself of the time where he had to bandage his own mouth to hide his traumatic scars

“darling, you okay?” you asked, worried at the sudden slight widening of his eyes

“oh, its nothing,” he shrugged it off, but you sensed that it had something to do with the bandage on his mouth

while he was calmly wrapping the wound on your leg, you leaned down and placed a heartfelt kiss on his forehead

“you're beautiful just the way you are,” you said as he glanced up at you

his eyes crinkled slightly; you knew that put a smile on his face

Mitsuri

she’d probably tend to your wounds the loudest way possible, constantly asking if you were okay

“oh dear, y/n, this looks terrible,” a pouty frown emerged on her face as she cleansed your wounds with cotton pads. “you okay??”

“im fine, honey, don’t worry too much,” you replied with a smile as you admiringly watched her bandage up the injuries on your knee

“alrighty! i hope this makes you feel better, darling. i put some ointment that kocho offered,” she smiled cheerfully, as she gave you a gentle headpat

“thanks ‘suri, youre the best,” you returned her smile with an even happier one from you

Muichiro

would be quiet too but would occasionally check up on you

he’d go like “oh, does this hurt?” or “you feeling okay?”

you were technically the only person he could express his true behavior to

he’d be experienced in this kind of stuff since he had to take care of his mom when she was sick

the thought of his sick mom made him want to protect you even more. he’d already lost his family, he couldn’t afford to lose you too

he’d treat the wound as meticulously as possible to prevent it from worsening

“thank you, mui. you don't know how much i treasure you,” you warmly smiled at him

though he didn’t say anything back, you knew his smile was all you needed to see.

Kyojuro

tbh i feel like he’ll just treat you like how he treated tanjiro when he got stabbed during the mugen train arc

“kyo, it huuurts,” you whined, hoping that he’ll do something instead of keep asking you to control your breathing

“okay okay, i’ll go fetch the med kit. make sure to control your breathing to stop the blood from coming out!” he darted to the other end of the house to get the necessities, his voice still loud as ever

when he got back, he tended to your lacerations as gently as possible, doing all of it with a proud smile on his face

“why the long face, y/n?” he noticed that your usual happy aura had dissipated all of a sudden

“i- i just hate being weak. i hate that you have to get distracted by your missions just to tend to my injuries,” you pouted, biting your lip

“my love, its part & parcel of your journey to make mistakes. as you continue on, you’ll find that these obstacles are nothing compared to what you’re actually facing. so, heads up, and look brightly into your future, okay?” he cheered you on while giving you a soft pat on the shoulder

“thank you, kyo.” you gratefully smiled as you dozed the rest of the evening off

Sanemi

he definitely wasn’t the best at playing it gentle

“ouuuch, nemi, be gentler please,” you winced as he placed a bandaid on your collarbone

“bold of you to say, y/n. somehow you don’t act like this when we’re making out,” he sneered, as he discarded the cotton wools in the trash

you were left speechless as an obvious blush sprawled across your face. only your boyfriend could make you like that, and you loved him for it

“yeah that’s right hun. now be a good toy and rest till i come back,” he taunted, though you swore you heard him mutter “get well soon darling” before he uttered those words

Tengen

he most likely cleans injuries with flamboyance no matter how bad it was

definitely has custom bandages embroidered with random stuff just for you

you saw him putting on gloves and stuff although your wound was really mild

“tengen- babe, there’s no need for all this,” you sighed in embarrassment; your boyfriend would go out of his ways just to treat a mild scratch

“nuh uh, i aint letting you pass with this wound. it could be infected, who knows?” he cocked his eyebrow as he placed a not-so-modest looking bandage on your wound

“aight, i really hope that helps, darling! want me to bring you some munchies?” he chuckled as he packed back up the amenities

“there’s really no need for that, babe. you’ve done more than enough,” you smiled, softly caressing his cheek

obviously he couldn’t care less about your response as he brought you snacks and then cuddled the night away

Shinobu

DEFINITELY would come up with an antidote just to cure your injury

“darling, we need you back on the ground as soon as possible. all your mentees are worried for you, and i can't bear seeing you in a state like this, okay?”

in this case, your injuries were quite bad and she had to put you on an iv drip

after she was done tending to your wounds, she placed a soft kiss on your cheek

“get well soon, honey,” she smiled as she rubbed her thumb on your fingers

“thank you, love. i’ll definitely recover fast thanks to you,” you chuckled weakly, squeezing her hand and never letting go

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impybutt · 1 year

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Sezak had never seen a leather jacket before. What cause would someone ever have to wear another's skin? It struck him as alarming, to say the least.

Exposure risk wasn't something he or many others ever considered: His people were designed for efficiency, just like the rest of the spacefaring races. Or, that's what he assumed. It's common knowledge, isn't it?

Genome mapping is just the norm, and entire civilisations have been curated from raw materials, Sezak's included. It's far more energy and resource efficient than terraforming, in any case. That's what it takes to reach the stars: curated efficiency.

No one ever did it just by trial-and-error, did they?

But here was Suri, a Human, wearing the skin of... what did she call it? Some other kind of mammal, he forgot the name. Something absurdly simple. Anyway, apparently this is just normal for Humans!

"But why?" Sezak asked, incredulous. "What's the point?"

"Well, these days thanks to climate control and artificial atmosphere, it's mostly a style thing. But you know, early humans back on earth, why would you just leave a perfectly good skin to rot when you could wear it for protection?"

"Protection from what!? Under what circumstance are you finding an unused skin?? Wait-- is this another religious thing? I've heard that Humans have a lot of those, and they don't always make sense from the outside."

Suri looked confused (or constipated? Human faces are deceptively complex, it takes a long time to learn how to read them), and seemed to be studying Sezak for a moment. Her eyes darted over his synthetic clothing briefly, with its cultural flairs and decorative adornments, all carrying the signature texture of replicated matter.

Then, with sudden clarity, "Oh! Humans weren't curated, mostly we're organic."

Well, that's just absurd.

Sezak muffled his involuntary 'kek-kek' with a quick apology, covering his mandibles.

"Pardon me, that means your entire lineage came from raw evolution. That takes billions of years, I find it very unlikely."

"Yeah," Suri was nonplussed. "The leather is a throwback to when our ancestors had to survive in the wild. We hunted our meat, then used what was left for tools and clothing. It's actually a pretty proud part of our history; Earth was habitable, but definitely not easy."

Now it was Sezak's turn to look constipated, which never happened because his people weren't curated with such a terrible design flaw.

"So humans just bumbled their way into space on their own, like a larva figuring out how to fly? All... clumsy and inelegant, and... Messy? Without any outside help? Without any climate-matching!? Is that why you have those absurd suits!?"

"Yeah, it's also why our bodies just malfunction in weird ways for no obvious reason," Suri looked a little too amused at Sezak's undisguised horror - not that Humans are essentially raw nebula mobilised by a star's age of convenient mutations, but that they exist in such a state of volatility with no apparent qualms about it.

"Oh great wells," Sezak breathed, reeling from his new perspective. "So many of you wear leather. Hold on, is that why Vikram is always visiting the health centre?"

Suri's eyes crinkled, and she bared her teeth -- in a laugh, okay. Sezak recognised the 'kek-kek' noise humans make in thrill, though theirs is a more glottal 'hach-hach'.

"Yes, Vikram has auto-immune issues. Which means that sometimes, his immune system will attack his own body depending on the irritant. Or weather. Or his cortisol levels."

Sezak stared at Suri for a long time, trying to figure out if she was pranking him.

"I think I have a lot of reading to do," he muttered, incredulous.

"Start with the human eye, it's an absolute mess. Do you know how little it takes to detach a human retina?"

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS"

#hfy #humans are space orcs #sci-fi #writing prompt #prose #short story #this premise has been rattling around in my head for a while #that humans are the only space-faring race without a tailored genome #and all the other aliens are freaked out by it #seriously it takes under 4 minutes for me to get sunburnt #yet somehow my genes have survived

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hedghost · 5 months

Text

who’s ready for more…

Pick a WOSO Player, Get a Sapphic Book Rec!

Part Five: Fantasy, Magical Realism, Historical, Dark Contemporary, Literary Fiction, Mystery

In honour of @trinity-dose-stuff enlightening tiktok, and with a heavy dose of tillies for @celmeme ;)

Note: Again, haven’t read most of these - please remember to check content warnings before reading!

Links: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

-------

Ellie Carpenter: Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth

Sydney Lohmann: We Set the Dark On Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

Phallon Tullis-Joyce: Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake

Fridolina Rolfo: Rosewater by Liv Little

Pernille Harder: After Sappho by Selby Wynn Schwartz

Alex Greenwood: The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

Mary Fowler: The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri

Ana Maria Crnogorcevic: The Chosen and the Beautiful by Nghi Vo

Magdalena Eriksson: Everyone In This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily Austin

Ellie Roebuck: She's Too Pretty To Burn by Wendy Heard

Emily van Egmond: Fingersmith by Sarah Waters

Jackie Groenen: Milk Fed by Melissa Broder

Alanna Kennedy: Dykette by Jenny Fran Davis

Caitlin Foord: A Restless Truth by Freya Marske

Mackenzie Arnold: All the Bad Apples by Moira Fowley Doyle

------

thanks for getting this far - as always, if you want more, send some requests! hope you enjoyed!

all love,

hedge xx

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sarahreesbrennan · 4 months

Note

Hi Sarah, I'm so excited to see your upcoming release. (Villainess deserve representation too!) I was rereading Love From Both Sides for the dozenth time - as one does - and I was wondering if you had any plans for a spin off with Adara and Natalie? Their story has so many uncharted possibilities, I'm dying to know more. And relatedly, we're gasping out here for more sapphic media that goes as hard as your work does 🥺

I'm sorry if this has been asked and answered before, I couldn't find anything in your archives. Thanks again for writing In Other Lands, a precious and rare delight. I hope you're having the bestest day with at least one friendly nuzzle from a puppy

Hey my love, Never be sorry for asking anything! This world is bettered by the questioners, and it’s a great compliment to me that you care.

As regards Adara and Natalie specifically, I couldn’t tell you. I’d love to write more in the In Other Lands world (about which more later) - but whether I could do a short story or a series of books would obviously change my answer. It’s not entirely up to me, but I definitely do have plans for Adara. She’s a foil for Elliot, and the kind of character I really like - one who I see treated shallowly in other media, when few people really are shallow. If there’s too much skimming the surface, I long to explore the depths. And with the depths come adventures. Thank you for your care!

I also thank you for being excited for Long Live Evil. Villains and villainesses do definitely deserve representation, and have long been beloved by me because they’re often complicated, witty because they see the world differently, and queer-coded. I was also thinking when writing it about the different ways audiences can come to a story, and using the same evidence how different people presume characters are (for example) straight or bisexual. And often the ending will be very uniformly heterosexual. But if you go into the story, and change its direction… Are the things you presumed true? Are the things characters presumed about themselves true? Would certain subtexts surface, and certain texts submerge? How do we influence art by engaging with it? Anyway, I am categorically not making any promises because that’s got me in trouble before. But it’s an ensemble story (I was inspired by the group dynamics and relationships, all given weight, of Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows) and these are some of my preoccupations when writing it. I hope you shall find much to enjoy.

In the meantime, if you seek sapphic media that goes hard, and Sappho knows we all do… The Jasmine Throne and the Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri - this series is a huge favourite of mine - and not just mine, it won the World Fantasy award. Its central f/f pairing features one party holding the other at knifepoint for fine reasons and they have a brilliant dynamic based on understandably conflicting ideologies and complicated family situations! I love it.

Thank you for a delight of a letter and your kind words. I write this being yelled at by a cat for skritches, which is pleasant as puppies. I wish you a beauteous day with animal companions of choice, with apologies I couldn’t answer more definitively!

#in other lands #sarah rees brennan #lgbt books #the jasmine throne #sapphic #six of crows #Long live evil

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moni-logues · 7 months

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Kintsugi 13

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, tiny bit of eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 7k

Content: just a teeny tiny lil bit of kissing

A/N: I honestly think I'm being way too good to you, given I posted the last chapter like, two days ago. But my little fingies would not be stopped and this came out!!!! So here we are!!! thanks to @quarter-life-crisis2 for beta-ing!

Chapter Twelve | Masterlist | Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Thirteen - Damage Control

Yoongi was lying face down on the sofa when there came a knocking at the door. He ignored it. Anyone he might have been willing to see knew the code to let themselves in. But the knocking didn’t stop. Then there was a louder noise—Yoongi assumed a kick—before silence. If he strained his ears, he could hear the person, on the other side of his door, talking animatedly, perhaps angrily.

Then the knocking started again.

“Yoongi!”

He didn’t recognise the voice at first, not when his name was being screeched like that.

“Let me IN!”

He lifted himself onto his elbows and frowned.

“Suri?” he asked Cherry, who was busy washing herself on the coffee table.

“For fuck’s sake, Yoongi! Open the door!”

There was one reason and one reason only that Suri would be trying to knock down his door and that was if Namjoon had sent her. And if Namjoon had sent her, she would not be going away without a fight. Yoongi didn’t have the energy for a fight. He hauled himself off the sofa with a groan and plodded to the front door.

“Finally,” Suri said, ignoring the need for a greeting and walking straight into his apartment without being invited.

Yoongi blinked at the empty space in front of him for a second or two and then closed the door with a sigh, returning to slump on the other sofa, since Suri had taken the one he had been lying on.

“Are you here to try to cheer me up or something?”

She snorted.

“No. You think Namjoon would have sent me for that job? I think we all know each other better than that.”

“Then what? Talk to me about how happy you and Namjoon are and ask don’t I want that, too?”

“Also no. I assume you get enough of that from Namjoon himself.”

“Tell me off for being an idiot?”

“Sounds like you already know.”

“Fine. I give up. What are you here for?”

Suri shrugged.

“We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want.”

Yoongi sat up straight at that and fixed her with a glare, a flash of embarrassed, defensive anger lighting in him.

“I’m being babysat? What, does he think I’m going to fucking kill myself or something if I’m not supervised around the clock?”

“Woah, no, no, it’s not that.” She raised both hands in surrender. “Namjoon wants me to give you a whole talk about being scared of letting people in and stuff like that but, well, like I said, I think we all know each other well enough to know that isn’t going to happen. I’m still not good enough at the letting people in shit to want to tell you anything, to be honest. But Namjoon asked me to come and, if you must know, if I really have to say it, Namjoon is responsible for at least 80% of my happiness these days so I do what he asks me.

“But we don’t have to talk. I’m the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice, regardless of what he says. So we can just sit here in silence if you like, until Namjoon comes back to pick me up.”

Yoongi relaxed back into the corner of the sofa and shrugged. Suri picked up her phone so he did the same.

“Did Namjoon tell you I'm getting a divorce?” Suri asked after about ten minutes of silence.

“You are? No, he didn’t say.”

“Huh, thought you guys told each other everything.”

Yoongi glanced over but Suri was still scrolling on her phone, feet up on the sofa, not looking back at him.

“Namjoon’s pretty private when it comes to you, actually.”

That got her attention.

“What? He says people tell him he won’t shut up about me.”

“Yeah, about you, about him but not your personal stuff.”

She considered that for a moment before turning back to her phone and letting silence return.

“Am I supposed to say congratulations?” Yoongi asked after a moment or two. “I don’t know what you say for divorce.”

She shrugged.

“Depends on the circumstances, I guess. For me, yeah, it would be congratulations, but I’m not actually divorced yet. Takes months. I’ve just finally done the first bit of it.”

“Well... Congratulations anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“How did Namjoon react when you told him?”

She laughed.

“He was over the fucking moon, as you can imagine.”

Yoongi stopped there and let things settle again for a minute, studiously keeping his eyes trained on his phone, feigning disinterest, when he asked his next question.

“What does it feel like, getting divorced?”

He didn’t look over when she didn’t answer immediately. He wasn’t going to push the matter if she didn’t answer at all. She wasn’t making him talk and he would repay the favour.

“I don’t really feel anything at the moment. Like I said, this is just the first step. All I did was fill out some forms. I’m still married. For now.”

She shrugged and Yoongi nodded as if he understood when he knew that he couldn’t.

Namjoon’s friends had been singularly incensed when he’d told them Suri was married. As if it couldn’t get worse, the situation couldn’t get messier, as if she couldn’t fall any further from grace... but she managed it. He insisted they didn’t understand. He swore up and down that they would understand if they heard the whole story and refused point blank to tell them.

It had made things clearer for Yoongi. He maintained that Namjoon should have kept his distance, should not be getting involved, but he began to see Suri a little differently. Sometimes we carry things around with us that change who we are, that make us do the wrong thing, act the wrong way, hurt the wrong people. It’s still wrong, but you find that you can’t help yourself, can’t stop yourself. Yoongi understood that. And he was going to support Namjoon whatever he chose, even if he made a decision Yoongi didn’t agree with, because that’s what you do.

And now look where they were. Namjoon and Suri sickeningly in love. Suri sitting on Yoongi’s sofa, at Namjoon’s behest. Yoongi as far from that as he had ever been. Farther maybe. He had never had what they had. He wasn’t sure he ever would but that thought made his soul shrivel and blacken and he had been spending far too much time with it recently. He turned back to his phone for idle distraction.

“So... do you want to talk about it?”

They had been sitting in silence for some twenty minutes before she asked.

“Don’t have anything to say.”

Suri hummed, in that irritating way that people did when they didn’t believe you but weren’t going to challenge you.

“What?” Yoongi took up the challenge instead.

“Do you not have anything to say, or do you just not want to say it to me? If it is me, that’s fine; like I said, we don’t have to talk. But there is a reason Namjoon sent me and not anyone else.”

“Because you’ll do whatever he says-”

She laughed, a harsh bark of laughter that disturbed Cherry in her slumber.

“Ok, can you please tell Namjoon that? Because he thinks I’m stubborn and I never listen.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“What do you want me to say about it?”

“Look, I’m in a tricky spot here. I want you to be happy; I want everyone to be happy. If I can, in some way, help with that, then I want to. But I also know how I reacted every single time someone tried to help me last year; I didn’t want help then and it made everything worse feeling like people were always telling me what to do. So I don’t want to do that to you. What do you want me to say?”

“There’s nothing to say anymore. I’ve fucked it. Game over.”

“Why is it game over?”

Yoongi turned to her, not sure if she was being deliberately obtuse or playing his therapist’s favourite game.

“I already said no. That’s it. Th-”

“Do you know how many times I rejected Namjoon? It‘s not over ’til it’s over.”

“She’s not Namjoon.”

“No, but she’s with him right now and you know how persuasive he can be.”

Yoongi had suspected that was happening, that they were tag-teaming the two of you, but hearing it confirmed was not a comfort. He dreaded to think what conversation you were having with Namjoon. He could imagine all the things you might have been saying and it made his heart physically hurt.

“I’m joking,” Suri said when Yoongi didn’t reply. “He’s just going to see if she’s done. If she is, he’ll let you know and you can continue being sad. If she’s not, he’s going to make you talk to her. I assume I’m not telling you things you don’t already know. You know Namjoon.”

He did. And he had been wondering why he had been so quiet over the last couple of days. Now he knew. Yoongi shook his head. He couldn’t see a future in which he walked it back; he couldn’t see a way that he could just suck back what he said, or say what he didn’t, and it would all just be ok. He hadn’t heard from you since Friday, which is the longest you’d gone without texting since you got his number. He felt empty.

“You don’t have to do it,” Suri said, a little softer. “Obviously you don’t have to do what he tells you. You don’t have to do anything, but you should be clear on why you’re doing it.”

“People make it sound so fucking easy. It’s not. It’s not.”

Suri chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. Everyone told me, repeatedly, that it was easy. They didn’t have a fucking clue because it was not easy and you have to keep doing it. I couldn’t just say to Namjoon, ‘yeah, ok, we’re together now’ and then carry on exactly the same way. I had to let him in over and over and over again, and that shit is hard. They say it’s easy but what they mean is it’s simple. You have two choices; you are in or you are out and you have to pick between them. It’s not complicated.”

“It is now.”

“Well, wait to see what Namjoon says... but I bet it’s not. I’m not counting you out just yet. If I can fucking do it...”

“I don’t know if I can.”

Suri shrugged again.

“Ok, then you don’t. Decision made.”

Yoongi didn’t reply. The finality of that statement felt like a knife in the gut. Ok then, he doesn’t. Then what? Then nothing. Then no you. Then thoughts of you every time he picks up a knife or bakes brownies or goes to the beach. But no you. The absence of you in every crowd. The absence of you in his echoing apartment.

His breath stuttered and he shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts away. He didn’t know how he would live with that. You had become as vital to him as breathing; your presence in his life had become that natural, that easy. And now he couldn’t fucking breathe.

He sat up, trying to sit straight and fill his lungs, trying to do it inconspicuously, in a way that looked casual, normal. Suri got up and moved into the kitchen, opening cupboard doors and closing them again. Yoongi watched her, focusing on that, using it to distract himself, wondering what she was doing.

“Why do you not have anything nice in this house?” she called. “Chocolate? Biscuits?” She opened his freezer. “Ice-cream?”

Yoongi shrugged, though she wasn’t looking at him to see.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “Just don’t.”

She turned to look at him.

“You’re allowed sugar you know. Or do you just deliberately keep your life as miserable as possible?”

Yoongi chuckled. But she was right.

You and Taehyung were lying, one at each end of the sofa, scrolling mindlessly on your phones whilst ostensibly watching whatever it was that was playing on the TV, when your intercom sounded. Taehyung got up to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi, it’s Namjoon?”

You could hear his hesitation, having expected your voice at the other end, not a man’s. He clarified that it was indeed your apartment and Taehyung looked at you when Namjoon asked if he could come up so you could talk.

“Who is this guy?” Taehyung asked you.

“It’s Yoongi’s friend. I’ve told you about him,” you answered and his face instantly darkened.

“What the fuck does he want?”

“To talk, Teddy; he just said it. Let him in.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s fine.”

Taehyung turned back to the intercom and hit the door-release before coming back to the sofa.

“Ok,” he said, “but I’m going to stay.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m going to.”

“No, I mean, I don’t want you to. I can have a conversation, Teddy. I’m fine.”

You were not ‘fine’ – you were some way from fine and Taehyung knew it – but you didn’t want to speak to Namjoon with Taehyung around. He was too angry, too protective of you; you knew he wouldn’t let either of you say the things you wanted to. You didn’t hold it against him. You appreciated how readily he slipped into guard dog-mode but you weren’t about to head into combat so you didn’t need him. You wanted to hear what Namjoon had to say. You needed to.

Taehyung answered the door when Namjoon knocked and he stood for a couple of seconds in the doorway, eyeing him up, transmitting whatever telepathic threats he wanted before he stepped aside. Then he looked expectantly at you and held up his phone; you knew the drill. He was a phone call away. You only had to text him and he’d be right back. Just as he always was.

Namjoon stood uncertainly in the hall and you ushered him in.

“Don’t mind Teddy,” you told him. “He’s just being protective. He’s like that.”

Namjoon nodded.

“Got it.”

“What can I do for you?”

Namjoon sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Firstly, I want to apologise. I am not apologising on Yoongi’s behalf – we'll get to that later – but I’m apologising for me. I interfered a little, because I couldn’t stop myself, because I was so sure of what would happen and I was wrong and now you’re hurt and I’m sorry for that.-”

“Namjoon, literally none of this is your fault.”

“No, I will take some responsibility for it. I thought... I didn’t think this would happen and if there was any inkling of it, I guess I just didn’t want to see it because I knew what I wanted to happen. I’m sorry.”

It made you want to cry that he was here. Sweet, innocent Namjoon apologising to you when he hadn’t done anything. When all he had done was be a friend to you, even when you were a stranger. The care and consideration he was showing you made the hollow in your chest ache. He was pushing on an open wound, but he knew it and he was being so gentle.

“I don’t know if you want to talk about it or hear what I have to say and, if you don’t, that’s ok. You can just tell me to go and I’ll go, but I want to be upfront that I am here for Yoongi. Your friend-” he gestured vaguely to the door and raised his eyebrows in question- “told Yoongi, in no uncertain terms, to not contact you again. Not now, not ever, not by any method. So he is not going to. He will not contact you because he has been told not to. So I’m here. And if you stand by that, again, I will go and you won’t hear from either one of us. You have my word on that. But if there’s a chance, if there’s any possibility that you will talk to him, that you will give it another try, I’m here to beg you to do that.

“So, what do you say? Can we talk? Or do you want me to go?”

You didn’t want to talk; you weren’t sure you could really manage talking about it, but you did want to know what he had to say. You nodded.

“We can talk.”

“Great.”

Namjoon visibly relaxed, his shoulders lower, that easy smile a sign of his relief as he sat back against the sofa.

“Ok, the first thing to know is that Yoongi fucked up and he knows it. Believe me, he knows. It was all wrong—he got it wrong. I’ve got no argument there... The other thing you have to know, though, is that Yoongi does not know how to be loved.”

You bit your lip hard and blinked, trying to clear the stinging tears as they formed. It hurt because you knew it was true and you didn’t want it to be. It broke your heart anew to hear his best friend say it. He didn’t know how to be loved. You knew it already but hearing it said so plainly, it struck you like an open palm to the face.

“He has always picked terrible partners, terrible people who make him feel like shit because they validated the way he already felt like shit about himself. And growing up, his family, I mean... I wasn’t there, I don’t know exactl-”

“I get it.”

You hadn’t been there while he was growing up, but you had been there. And you hadn’t said it at the time but you’d thought it: that they took advantage of his guilt as well as his wealth; that he carried their burdens as well as his own, even while he considered himself one of them. That there hadn’t been enough to go around when he was a kid and that apparently extended to love, too. That they treated him like a black sheep, despite everything he’d done. That he wasn’t comfortable there. That it wasn’t just grief for his grandfather; it was a different kind of grief altogether. For a life he didn’t have, for something that had always felt out of reach or out of place. Grief for the very real past and an impossible future.

You hadn’t brought it up because there was no need to make his time there any harder than it already was and he hadn’t brought it up since so you’d never spoken about it, but you could see it. You could walk the path of his childhood and find him here now. You got it.

“Right, exactly. Yoongi doesn’t know how to be loved; he does not know how to let somebody love him. I have known him for twelve years and he still sometimes won’t open up to me. To say he’s a hard nut to crack would be a little mean because it’s not really his fault, but it is true. And that’s why you’re different.

“It’s not my place to say any of this shit, really, but I think we’re past that point now so I’m going to say it all. He fucking loves you and he is terrified of that. He is terrified of you. He’s like a startled possum playing fucking dead because he doesn’t know what else to do.

“You’re a good person. You are kind to him and you like him and you make him laugh and you make time for him and you make him feel good about himself. That’s practically a miracle in itself. And then you caught him off-guard. Really caught him off-guard. How he reacted, what he did, that wasn’t right and I’m not here defending him; I’m just trying to explain. He didn’t do it to hurt you. He acted purely out of panic. And what he said wasn’t true. Look at me and believe me, please trust me when I say that he does have feelings for you. He does want to be with you. And he is killing himself right now because you put that opportunity right in his hands and he thinks he destroyed it.

“I’m here to ask if he has.”

You took a deep breath and tried to think carefully, tried not to speak yet, not until you’d really heard what Namjoon was saying, until you’d thought about your response.

Taehyung had been livid. As soon as you’d woken up on the Saturday morning, you felt it. He had been sweet and gentle with you, even as you were drinking yourself into bed, but when the morning had come, his resolve had hardened and the frustration came off him in waves. He was angry with Yoongi, furious, actually, that, after everything, he would do this to you.

Part of you wanted to be angry, too, but you weren’t. You couldn’t be. No one can control their feelings so it wasn’t Yoongi’s fault that he didn’t feel the same way as you. You didn’t want to be angry with him, to hate him, to be bitter about it. Though that might have made it easier.

You felt as though you were sitting at the bottom of a pit, staring way up at the hole at the top. You had no equipment and no tools but somehow you had to get out of it. It was too big. It was Yoongi. You had spoilt it all, by daring to believe that you could have more. More than you deserved. You should have been satisfied but you pushed it. You told yourself a story and leant all the way in. That wasn’t Yoongi’s fault either.

You’d been talking to yourself for days now. Repeating mantras to yourself as if your life depended on them. All day, little phrases buzzing in your head, reminding yourself that you were ok, that this wasn’t a reflection of your worth, that you would survive this, that you were strong. You weren’t at the point of believing them yet, but their repetition gave you something to think of that wasn’t the wide, pitch-black chasm inside you which threatened to eat everything: all that you’d learnt, all the progress you’d made, every good thing you had done for yourself in the last year.

Hearing Namjoon say, so clearly, so emphatically, that Yoongi wanted to be with you made your stomach swoop as if you’d imagined an extra step on the staircase and your foot had fallen through air. You couldn’t believe it from Namjoon; you couldn’t believe it because Yoongi had said the opposite. But you wanted to believe it. There was still hope, somewhere inside you, that wanted to throw your arms around Namjoon and thank him, and tell him yes, again and again, tell him that there was more than just a chance for Yoongi. You would give him everything. All he had to do was ask.

At one time, you’d probably have done just that. But you were older now, a little wearier, a little warier. You’d put yourself on the pyre once already and got burnt; you would have to think twice before doing it again.

“If he says no again,” you started, your voice small and quiet.

“He won’t,” Namjoon interrupted. “I promise you he won’t. If I have to force it out of him myself, I -”

“I don’t want that.”

Namjoon stopped and waited for you to continue.

“I don’t want you to force him. I don’t want him to be forced to be with me.” The embarrassment of it made your voice crack. “If he can’t want me on his own, then he doesn’t want me at all.”

You paused, trying to pull yourself together. You took a sharp inhale and breathed it out. You would take your time on this. You had to. Your heart was racing, uncomfortably stuttering, and, for a moment, you wished Taehyung had stayed, because he was your pillar of strength and he was so angry that you knew he would have demanded what you were trying to ask for.

“I deserve to be loved out loud. He can want me and tell me or he can want me and not tell me, but if he doesn’t tell me, he can’t have me.”

Your voice wavered and it did rather spoil the illusion of your resolve, but you had to say it even if you didn’t really feel it, didn’t really believe what you were saying. You had to say it. You knew, even if you didn’t believe, that you deserved it. If Yoongi wasn’t willing to tell you himself, then he wouldn’t be willing to give you what you wanted, what you deserved in a partner. You couldn’t settle for coercion, for a shy, reluctant Yoongi telling you with a gun to his head.

“You’re right, you’re right.” Namjoon raised his hands, in defence or surrender. “I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry. I just mean that this is something that will be really difficult for him – not being with you, but letting you in, y’know? Taking that step? – but I know and he knows that it is what he wants, so I will be there supporting and encouraging him. That’s why I’m here. So I can reassure him, so that I can feel secure knowing I’m not sending him into a lion’s den.

“Like I said, if you tell me to go and that you never want to speak to him again, I will respect that but I need to know that before I talk to him. Do you know what I mean? I have to be sure what you want. And you don’t have to decide right now, either. I’m not trying to pressure you. It was not a good move on his part and I totally appreciate if you need time to decide, to think about it. Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.”

You nodded. You knew what your answer was going to be. There was never any real question of that. You would always say yes to Yoongi. You took another moment to remind yourself of how far you’d come. You had met Yoongi in the middle of your break-up with San, your biggest heartbreak, at your bitterest and most spiteful. You weren’t spiteful anymore. You and San were fledging friends again. You had broken completely when Sungbin tried to cool things down and you had crawled your way back from that. You had made bad choices and good choices and you were a very long way from where you had been a year ago. You could do this.

“You can,” you told Namjoon. “You can tell him he can-... We can talk.”

Namjoon smiled and nodded, his eyes squinting as he scrunched his nose.

“That is fucking great news. Thank you. I promise you your faith in Yoong is not misplaced. He’s one of the best people I know. And I know you already know that, but in case you have any doubts after this, I’m saying it will work out. Your trust will not be wasted.”

You nodded and he nodded again.

“Ok, well, I’ll get out of your hair. Thank you for letting me come. I appreciate it.”

“Thank you, too.”

Namjoon stood and let himself out of the apartment. You fell onto your back and sighed, blowing out the air as hard as you could. You didn’t know what you had let yourself in for. You had no idea how Yoongi would approach you, what he would be like, what he would say. But you had said he could come so all you could do now was wait and see.

Wait like an anxiously stewing pot threatening to boil over. You hoped he came soon.

Yoongi could have let himself in but he buzzed up from outside and you were there, sitting anxiously, teeth tearing your lips to shreds, awaiting his arrival.

The last time you had been this nervous to see him was the day you told him you just wanted to be friends. The irony did not escape you, but it couldn’t bring a smile to your lips. Then, you had been preoccupied by what you were going to say; tonight, it was what you were going to be told. You remembered the desperate way you busied yourself, giving yourself a task, cooking and chatting and accidentally disclosing a lot more about yourself than you had meant to. It had been a turning point in your relationship in more ways than one.

And now you were here again.

You heard him approach, the way you heard everyone approach, footsteps echoing down the bare corridor, the noise carrying through your thin walls. You heard him stop outside your door and waited with a held breath for him to knock.

It took a minute or two and you imagined him, standing out there, fists by his side, or fingers twisting the hair at the nape of his neck, building up the courage. It made your guts twist.

Then he did knock and you almost jumped out of your skin. It took you a moment to be ready, too, standing on the other side of the door, gathering yourself.

You opened it and there he was. There was an intensity in his eyes you hadn’t seen before but you barely had a chance to register it as Yoongi was stepping forward, his hands reaching for your face, pulling you closer, and then he was kissing you. You thought you should stop it; this wasn’t the right way to start things; you couldn’t just kiss when you had things to talk about. But your body had already responded. Your fingers in his hair, your body pressed close to his, your tongue in his mouth.

You could taste whisky on him and you usually hated it but it had never tasted sweeter than at that moment. He kissed you deeply, his hands moving down your body to grip you, vice-like, at the waist. He kicked the front door shut; you backed against a wall and he pushed you into it, not allowing a breath of space between you. This was what you had wanted. This was all you had wanted. His hands on your skin; your lips on his; your heart beating so fast it was vibrating in your chest.

You just about managed to break the kiss. Eventually. Yoongi pressed his forehead against yours, his fingers still digging hard into your skin. You kept your eyes closed, knowing any resolve would crumble if you saw him, dissolve into the aether if he looked at you like that again.

“Are you drunk?” you asking, breathless and gasping.

You felt his head shake.

“No.” His voice was gruff and low and sent a thrill straight through you. “I just had one. To get me here.”

You were no stranger to Dutch courage. You nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he said, whispering now and, as if he had only just realised he was doing it, he released his hands, his fingers jumping off you, hovering over you before retreating to his sides. He took a step back but you still didn’t open your eyes, not yet. You could still feel him there, so close to you and you didn’t trust yourself to move an inch.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I shouldn’t have done that... I just... I had to-.. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Are you really?”

You hoped not. He couldn’t just kiss you like that and then take it back. You didn’t want him to be sorry for it.

“No, I mean... I don’t know what to say. I didn’t- I hadn’t planned to do that. I just...”

He moved another couple of steps away and you decided it was safe to open your eyes. He had his back to you, his hands in his hair, his back heaving with heavy breaths.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still facing away. “I’m sorry for everything.”

He sighed and turned around, leaning against the counter. Namjoon’s words came back to you because he did look terrified. Somehow flushed and pale at the same time, tired, eyes wide and fearful. He was stumbling over half-started words, shaking his head, rubbing his face and gripping his hair in frustration; all he could say was ‘sorry’ like a compulsive stutter he couldn’t get past.

He had known it was going to be difficult but he hadn’t expected to fall apart so quickly. He wished he could just be kissing you. He didn’t want to have to say all of this (though he knew that he did have to, that you were owed it); he just wanted to kiss you and then you would know and all of this would be behind you.

He closed his eyes to take a deep breath and they flew open again when you reached out and took his hand in yours.

“It’s ok,” you said quietly.

“It’s not,” he returned.

Seeing him struggle like this made you feel sick: because you knew the feeling, you knew the terror of putting yourself out there and you knew Yoongi but you had never seen him like this before; and because it made you wonder if he could really do it. Could he actually bring himself to let you love him? Seeing him now, you didn’t know.

“It’s ok,” you repeated. “Take your time. Do you want to sit down?”

And you meant on the sofa, somewhere comfortable, but he sank where he was, so you sat, too, barely out of the hallway on the hard fake-wood floor.

“I didn’t mean to say no,” he began, his eyes on the floor. “I wanted to say something else, but it was like-” he reached a hand up to his neck- “it was like I was strangled. I literally couldn’t say it. I wanted to. I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t know how to ask you to stay.”

“You can always ask me anything.”

He flicked his eyes to you and you looked at each other; he was wary and shy and you really wanted to scoop him up in your arms and forget about it. Forget about this conversation and move past it, pretend the last week hadn’t happened or pretend that it had gone a different way. But that wasn’t the point. He needed to say it and you needed to hear him say it. It was important as much as it was difficult.

And it was difficult for you. You hadn’t expected it to be. You thought it would hurt to see him initially, all that fresh heartbreak still bleeding all over your clothes, but then you thought it would be easy. You trusted Namjoon when he said Yoongi wanted it and you trusted Yoongi and you thought you would talk and smooth everything over and then you would get to the soft part, the best part, the part your heart had been aching for since before you had even realised it was Yoongi it wanted.

“You know how you always call my ex a cunt?” he asked, sounding a little more confident this time.

“Because she is, yeah.”

“Well, they’re all like that, actually.”

‘He has always picked ... terrible people who make him feel like shit’. That was what Namjoon had said.

You nodded but he was looking at the floor again.

“You know when, um, when I didn’t come to baking class for a bit? And you came to my apartment? And found out about Cherry?”

“Yeah.”

“It was true-... It- I... No one has ever taken care of me like that. Until you did. No one’s ever cared about me like that before.”

It was on the tip of your tongue and your lips were open before you were able to stop yourself. You were going to say that that wasn’t true; of course people cared. Of course it wasn’t just you. But that was the whole point, wasn’t it? Namjoon had said it; Yoongi had said it twice now. No one had loved him how he deserved to be loved; no one had cared for him how he deserved to be cared for. It seemed impossible to you. It was unfathomable that anyone could meet him and treat him badly. Because it was Yoongi. And Yoongi was the best person you knew.

Yoongi could at least hear his heart beating now, solidly in his chest. It had stopped beating so fast it hummed. He felt your soft, warm hand on his and he kept going back to it, every time he thought he was going to panic, every time he thought his breath was going to get away from him, he went back to it. Your soft skin, the warmth of your palm, the gentle way you squeezed.

He had rehearsed. He had planned so carefully how he was going to do it. He had to get it right so he wasn’t going to go in pell-mell. But then he was on his way and he found himself forgetting it all, forgetting those turns of phrases he had crafted so carefully. And he felt so sick at one point that he got out of the taxi and crouched on the pavement for five minutes. That threw the rest out of the window and when he got back in, he felt two things: fear and desperation. He was desperate to get it right this time and petrified of doing it.

With all of his words lost to him, he had begun to panic because what would be different this time? How could he avoid a repeat of what had happened before when he couldn’t even think of the words, let alone say them, let alone say them in front of you? He had had to pause next to your building, collecting himself, talking himself into it again. He had no words, that much he was sure of. And if he couldn’t say anything, he was going to have to do something.

So he did. He had kissed you and it had felt like all the disparate pieces of his broken self were coming back together. And now this felt painful—it was excruciating, really, all his wounds open to the air—but you were there and you had not just let him kiss you but you had kissed him back and you were holding his hand and he would do it. He would.

“I broke up with her because of you,” he told you and you started.

You remembered your happiness when he told you she was his ex-girlfriend. The relief you felt. That you had no right to feel, given you knew next to nothing of her at the time. You had been happy for Yoongi. You had no idea it was anything to do with you.

“You were nicer to me than she was,” he explained. “And I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You. Then I found out she was cheating on me anyway, so I guess it wasn’t all you. But I think I’d have done it anyway. You’ve always been...”

You waited for him to finish the sentence. You didn’t know if he would. His fingers curled around yours and he looked up at you again.

“It’s always been you actually. It seems impossible that we only met last year. I feel like I-”

He paused and cleared his throat, a high flush coming through on his cheeks, his eyes back down.

He felt embarrassed in a way that was different from the way he felt exposed. He felt almost silly saying it, like it was some grand dramatic gesture when he was sitting on your floor barely able to string the words together. But he felt like he had been waiting for you his whole life. He knew you weren’t the answer. You weren’t a key that would unlock a secret passage that would make him happy forever more. You weren’t going to fix him. That wasn’t how things worked.

And it’s not what he wanted anyway. He didn’t want anything from you but you. He wanted to give to you. Everything. Anything. He wanted to make you feel the way you made him feel: alive, warm, happy, like at least part of the world was turning right on its axis. He had so little to offer, he knew that, but you could have it all.

“I’m happy I met you,” he settled on and it was poor. It was an impoverished confession, an understatement of titanic proportions.

“Me, too.”

“I do think about you,” he continued and he looked at you this time, held your gaze, and he found that it was easier this way. Now, with you looking at him like that – soft and sweet and kind – he found that he could say it. “I do want it... I- I want to be with you.”

Then your eyes were sparkling and you pushed your lips together hard to stop yourself beaming. Your chest felt tight and you were doing your best to keep it together when you wanted to cry with the relief of it, the joy of it. He had said it and he had meant it and he was still looking at you with open eyes, his face honest and still a little anxious and you wanted to crawl over to him and kiss him until you could no longer breathe.

“If you still want to,” Yoongi added in a rush and you laughed, harder than you’d expected to.

You dragged yourself forward, closer to him, and took his hands in yours. With your face just inches from his, you nodded.

“Yes, I still want to.”

And you kissed him.

Chapter Twelve | Masterlist | Chapter Fourteen

Taglist: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads, @xyahrinx, @olyd, @diorh0seokie, @thelilbutifulthings, @acquiescence804

#yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts x reader #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff

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