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#So glad i finally had some free time to draw
waffle-walks · 8 months
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love these guys. light doesn’t seem like the type to play games but he probably keeps telling L what to do anyway.
(Like my work? Here’s my kofi)
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lunarharp · 1 year
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never done one of these so i thought i'd try it.
my 2nd full year as an Artist.... developed a lot. looking back at stuff from a year ago is painful as usual. first half of this year was mostly takarazuka. in march i started "painting", in the summer i started doing "lineless", then i realised that's basically painting but now i understood it and was having fun.
in september i started doing tons of black and white stuff to clear my head and because i was so inspired by witch hat atelier.
i want to keep improving
#this isnt so much The Best Thing I Drew That Month as what represents the month artistically/emotionally to me.#like november was simply the persona 5 month. and december has to be lucifer.#(also i made a LOOT of comic-type stuff that isn't really represented in this image but was lots of fun.)#it's not like before 2020 i had never picked up a pen. i just Didn't Know Anything. i just doodled on paper and showed no-one#i feel like i both drew a lot in 2022 (which i DID) and still didn't draw or learn enough or at least not efficiently enough. =_=#i also finished two fics and worked on two zines. next year i want to print my own things and do more stuff. and make artist friends.#i barely socialised or did anything other than drawing. i'm glad i had so much free time but uhh i also want to Live More.#sometimes i feel like Getting Serious now and drawing Properly and sometimes i feel like stopping drawing altogether. idek.#i just dk.......#hope there were some people that enjoyed my stuff. it seems like there was. i feel like i'm at least at the beginning of the next stage#2020...we don't talk about that. 2021 ok starting to be able to draw. 2022 finally able to draw closer to what i want. i love a lot of it.#i guess that's something.#especially in sept/oct i was really inspired. i barely used the internet except to post art it was so good. my own world#i didn't use the internet basically at all in june either - but it was the total opposite. i barely drew at all. *examines myself*#onwards i guess................. *picks up my bindle*
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beastofburdenxo · 1 month
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Consider It Done
Tommy kidnaps his biggest enemy's daughter as payback. But, things aren't always what they seem.
Allusions of violence, mention of abuse, no smut.
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You woke up in what looked like a dreary basement. Your throat was dry, and your head felt funny. All you remember is just walking down the street and having a wet rag being shoved over your face from behind. Assuming that it was chloroform, because you were knocked out immediately after that.
You hear a door being opened and someone walking down the stairs. For some reason, you dash into a dark corner, thinking that it was going to save you. An oil lamp is turned on, illuminating the space and the man before you. "There you are love, glad to see you up and alert." A cigarette is lit. "Would you like a smoke?" You ignore the question altogether and respond with one of your own. "Who are you? Where am I?"
"My name is Thomas shelby Love, but you can call me Tommy. I hate meeting like this. It's nothing personal, really, just business. Your father owes me money and isn't taking me seriously, so I did what I had to do."
Your eyes bug out at this information. Of course, your asshole father has made another enemy. And the feared Tommy shelby, the devil of small heath, at that. "And you think taking me will loosen him up? He'd rather die than give up anything of his. To him, people are replaceable, money not so much. I'm sorry that you put in so much work to get me, but honestly, he's probably glad I'm out of his hair."
"Is that right? What a shame that is." Tommy draws off his cigarette. "Such a pretty thing, kidnapped and taken to the devil's mansion, thrown in a basement never to be seen again. Surely he loves you more than that, dear."
"The man killed all of my pets when I refused to marry one of his gross friends. He has burned my clothes before, locked me out of the house. Trust me, Tommy, he doesn't care. He has never liked me and I don't know why."
"You are like a wild horse that can't be broken, and your father can't stand it. You won't bend to his will like most and from where I'm standing, it's like you are his enemy and not his daughter. I'd take it as a compliment. If he liked you, that would mean that you two are similar. I have no desire to harm you, I'll behave if you do. Give it a couple of days, and if he doesn't budge, you are free to go. I'll even give you money for a ticket anywhere you want to go."
You think for a moment. "So you don't want to hurt me? You'd rather help me out?"
Tommy nods, "I see a lot of myself in you. In fact, you promise to be good, I'll let you out of here and into the house. Take it as a mini vacation, time to think. If your father does pay up, you'll still get that ticket out if you'd like. Regardless of what he does or doesn't do, it won't affect you."
You reach for a cigarette, and Tommy obliges. "I can't just leave my mom alone with his ass. He's mean to her too, Tommy. He needs to pay for his sins sooner rather than later."
Tommy chuckles, "You'd make one hell of a peaky blinder. Fiesty and headstrong. Are you looking for a new job, perhaps?"
"Tommy, I'm serious," you reply, "I'd say my mom would give anything for him to be gone. If you took care if it, you'd get your money and then some. It would have to be discreet of course."
"Kidnap victim asking her kidnapper to put a hit out on her own father? That's a new one for me, love. It does sound tempting, I will say. Never had much use for an abusive wife beater."
You stand up with a new sense of purpose. "Either you do it, or when I get out, l will do it myself!"
Tommy comes towards you like he's going to grab you, but he stops himself from touching you. "No, I can't have that. There's no need for an innocent to have blood on her hands. If you aren't successful, he will kill you, love. He won't think twice about it."
Tommy finally reaches out and gently stokes your face, "I don't want the fire to go out of your pretty eyes. Killing a man does that to a person, and you don't deserve that. If you want it done, consider it done. Consider yourself a partner in this and not a helpless victim. My only wish is that once this is all over, I can see you again. With permission, this time, of course. Let me do things the right way. Dinner?"
"Kidnapper asking his victim to dinner once she is released? That's a new one for me Tommy."
You take the cigarette from his mouth, since yours is long gone, and take a drag as if to think about it.
"Consider it done."
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hydrngea · 1 year
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𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇
a/n : ahhh i've been so busy lately but i finally got the chance to write this last night! rafe’s kinda ooc so I apologize in advance lol hope you enjoy <3
notes/summary : early mornings are for appreciating you | rafe cameron x f!reader, fluff, established relationship (you’ve been together for years) 
word count : 804
masterlist / latest rafe fic 
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daylight unwraps the hues of the room while the sun shines through the window you had neglected to cover up last night. rafe rouses with the light, eyes straining open. 
it’s early; early enough for him to get up and close the curtains over the arbiture and fall back asleep with ease. but for some reason he finds himself too comfortable in the position he in right now-can’t get himself to abandon his spot on the bed and the warmth that radiates from you.
 he stretches closer beside you, turning to lay with his back towards the window and facing you. he leans himself against his palm while creating a barrier between you and the light. he’s glad you sleep on your stomach, means the sun won’t get into your eyes and you can stay asleep.
mindlessly, his free digits find the curve of your back and trace over your skin; the imprints of the wrinkled sheets left on your preassure points. the faded strech marks on the flip side of your arms. the freckles on your shoulder. 
he thinks his new favorite activity is finger painting over your features;t here’s just something about the way his calloused finger pads feel against the softness of your untouched complexion which could keep him occupied and content for hours.
rafe was never the inventive type, never good with shapes like an artist or spoken phrases like a poet. even with no knowledge of creative subjects he knew without having to study you for long that you were a work of art.
he thinks- even though he doesn’t know much about his existence- that god must of carved you just for him to admire. 
minutes pass. the tangerine mountains of the sunrise fade to the comforting yellow the of the day and the sky returning to its familiar morning blue.
his exhales synchronize with yours, the room filled with a comfortable silence which feels so underrated. 
you’re the one to break it, limbs shifting under the comforter you’ve mostly stolen off of him and lips smacking together as you awake. 
you lift your head from your pillow and look at rafe with unfocused eyes which are just beginning  to regulate to the abnormal amount of light that blankets the surface of the bedroom. 
“shouldve closed the blinds last night,” you say as  press your palms onto your eye sockets, and rafe can’t help but laugh. he pulls you on-top of him and you comply,  letting out your own breathy chuckle because of how clingy he’s acting so early in the morning. your nose grazes the side of his before you slump down over him, cheek resting on his bare chest and ear right over his heart. 
gentle lips brush on your hair and you melt on top of him, wrapping you own arms around his waist. he can feel your lips curving into a smile against his skin. “how long you’ve been staring at me?” you ask, head lifting from his chest to look at him.
“dunno.” he responds, voice still gruff. a hum exerts from you as you relax back into him. 
again the two of you fall into a warm silence, content with being within each others space. no words are said and he returns to stenciling you; drawing shapes and patterns while trying to memorize you shape and every minuscule detail about your body as if you’d disappear any moment. 
rafe thinks about all he didn’t do to deserve such a heaven sent gift like you. even after years together, there’s still a part of him who believes you deserve more, better. someone as pure as you. he thinks maybe he should express his gratitude towards you more often. 
he’s the one to cease the quiet this time, softly at first. “i feel like..” he fingers begin to drag over the same spot while he tries to come up with the right words to say. 
“like what?” 
“like you were made for me. like i was made for you.”
his words make you sit up, locking your eyes with his. “what has gotten into you today, mr. whipped cameron.” you whisper as you lower your mouth onto his and press a gentle kiss at the corner of his lips. 
 he chuckles into you, lightly squeezing your waist. “nothing.” 
 “nothing?” he lets out a sigh as you pull away with your brow furrowed.
“just promise me you’ll never leave.” 
“well if u keep saying stuff like that then why would i ever want to?” you say, dimples on display as your lips curve into a smile. 
he scoffs, and you let out a screech when rafe flips the two of you over so he hovers over you. your hands find his cheeks, and you lift yourself up just enough to meet him halfway. 
“i would never leave this.” you murmur against him, right before his lips spark over yours.
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taglist (let me know if you would like to be added!) : @mrsstarkey1 @of-many-fandomss @maybankslover @penny4yourthoughts 
follow and reblog and i’ll do the same for you! 
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bunnybubae · 7 days
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(M)🚦Red Light: The Allure | Ch3 [JJK]
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👉🏻[Series Masterpost]
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (GymOwner!JK/MotoRacer!JK/Biker!JK-TattoArtist!OC)
Genre: S2L - Smut - Fluff - Angst
Summary: Jeon Jungkook never lets any distraction take him away from his motorcycle or his gym for more than one night. He just wants to speed around the track and feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, the sex he gets thanks to his charm, is just a side dish to his life. A tough past brought him on that Ducati that he learned to love, a past  you’ll uncover, as you slowly seep in under his skin. It’s a hell of a ride, in all senses, as you try to escape your own hell in the meanwhile.  Where will this ride bring you? Will it be worth it in the end?
Chapter Warnings: mention of the toxic ex (again, unfortunately), still a lot of teasing and heavy flirting, JK in black CK undies yes, it is a warning, brief mention of weed,  alcohol consumption, brief thigh riding, rubbing in public environment, dry humping, oral sex (M/F receiving), praise kink, protected sex, one (1) slap on the ass, rough sex.
Wc: 11.7k
A/N: Hello there! I hope you guys still want to read this story, cause CH3 is finally out! As always, I'm sorry if there are some grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so pls bear with me! 🫶🏻 Let me know what are your thoughts about the story, my box is always open! - Joy 🐰
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December 8th, Friday
You're glad it didn't pour down all day.
The night sky is clear and the smell of rain permeates in the air. You look through the car window covered in droplets as Hani chats with the driver.
You're too busy looking at scattered puddles on the asphalt reflecting the surrounding lights to pay attention to whatever the uber driver is saying.
The only thing troubling your mind right now is the last message you received. You had already blocked Ray's number a long time ago, but no one else would ever dream of sending you a similar message. The scumbag must have changed it.
You check your phone screen once again, almost hopeful that the content of the message is now different or even better, gone.
Unknown Number:- Have fun tn.
You tighten the coat you're wearing around your figure, as if that would be enough to make you feel safe.
Three words were enough to disgust you to the core. Well done Ray.
His intent is clear: he hopes to ruin your evening with this message, he wants you to feel out of place and you know pretty well that behind those seemingly innocent words there is much more hidden. His passive aggressive stalking exudes from every pixel of the screen. 
You wonder how he knows your plans for the evening, you hoped he had finally stopped spying on you, but clearly, this dude is unweary.
A hand suddenly rests on your shoulder, drawing your attention and making you flinch at the unexpected contact. Your thoughts must have poisoned your features judging by Hani's tone of voice, gentle and concerned.
“Y/N, are you okay?”
You mechanically put your phone back in your pocket and look at her with a hint of a smile, hoping that she doesn't notice the tornado of thoughts that swirl behind your eyes.
You don't want your worries to ruin your evening, that's exactly what that asshole would want.
Much less, you want Hani to decide it's best to take you home. It would be a defeat on all fronts.
You're going to go to this damn party and have fun. Ray has no power over you, not anymore. To let this message get under your skin would mean allowing him to manipulate you once again. You have to use it instead to do the exact opposite, to free yourself tonight and allow your wounded soul to dance.
Your face softens a little more as you manage to regain control of your thoughts.
"Yeah, it's all good. How long will it take to get there?"
Hani tells you that you'll arrive in a few minutes. She doesn't seem entirely convinced by your attempt to reassure her but you're glad she doesn't ask anything more when you start a barrage of questions about this kind of parties and the moto races.
Tae and Jungkook are waiting for you inside, she says, apparently they had to deal with some organizational issues related to tomorrow's qualifications, that's why they went earlier.
Hani is particularly thrilled, you can tell by the way she describes in as much detail as possible all the competitions and parties she's already attended. A little of her enthusiasm makes its way through you and you find yourself smiling genuinely as you listen to her.
A few minutes later, your driver parks next to the curb and once you get out of the car, you are amazed to notice the huge group of motorbikes parked in the lot next to the venue.
They're all well parked, resting under the light of the street lamps which highlights all their beautiful colors and shapes.
You reach the entrance guarded by a guy who looks like he could fold a motorbike in two. His menacing presence actually calms you further. You sigh without realizing it as your chest feels a little lighter.
Hani greets the big boy, who reciprocates, while maintaining a serious demeanor. He lets you in without even asking for documents or such, Hani is really well known by now.
The interior of the place has been well decorated for the occasion and the music is not excessively loud, the atmosphere is pleasant. You were expecting something more frenetic considering the adrenaline that motorcyclists are used to, everyone seems to be having fun but with ease instead. Which doesn't bother you at all.
Hani leads you to a small room filled with some sort of lockers to take off your coat before you could finally start your night.
It doesn't take long to find Tae, sitting at the bar, right next to the dance floor.
As you get closer, you notice that he's with a dark-haired guy and that they both seem deep in conversation.
"Here you are finally! Hoseok, Y/N, Y/N, Hoseok"
Tae gestures with his hands between you and the guy next to him. 
"You can call me Hobi!"
He says with a beautiful smile and holding out his hand.
The handshake was a bit embarrassing for you, you're no longer used to this type of introduction. Usually, the customers who come to the shop know you through Instagram or through friends, and it is easier to establish relationships which, in that circumstance, are limited to work.
"Nice to meet you, Hobi."
Tae offers everyone a round and the alcohol seems to loosen your nerves a little more.
Despite the initial awkwardness, the conversation between the four of you continues smoothly. You laugh out loud when Hobi tells an anecdote about Tae and Jungkook, you find him funny, both his way of storytelling and the emphasis he puts on details. He is definitely a sunny and extroverted guy who is able to drag anyone into conversation and put a smile on their face with his energetic ways.
Speaking of Jungkook,  you wonder where he could be, considering he was not here with them when you arrived.
Hobi continues his tell tales while Hani chuckles and Tae intervenes every now and then
"That guy over there," Hobi points behind you, "That one over there has been the champion for two years in a row!"
You turn to see where his finger is pointing only to realize that the champion he's talking about is Jungkook himself.
Tae laughs mockingly, determined to annoy you today as well, clearly. "Oh, they know each other very well!" and he exaggerates a wink.
Luckily enough, Hani seems to be on your side tonight. She elbows him on the side to shut him up but that only elicits a half-laugh from Tae.
"Yes, because I joined his gym." You respond casually, purposely ignoring Tae's innuendos.
Hobi starts waving his arm in the air trying to get Jungkook's attention from across the room.
Jungkook is talking to a couple of people, you look at him as he smiles and nods at something his interlocutors said, then he notices Hobi's attempts to call him.
He waves back and seems to want to return to the conversation with whoever is in front of him, when he notices you next to his friends.
A small smile forms on his face and his gaze remains fixed on you, almost as if he were challenging you to a staring contest. 
You decide to playfully stick your tongue out at him to which he, in response, reacts with a damn wink.
You turn around and try to douse the heat you feel by taking a large sip of your drink. The alcohol helps, but the warmth in your cheeks becomes noticeable.
Your friends continue to chat peacefully, you're relieved to see that no one has noticed this little exchange with Jungkook, with the exception of Hani of course, her smile speaks clearly.
You try to focus on Tae and Hobi's talk, but they're talking about some modifications their mechanics made to their bikes for the race, details too mechanical for your alcohol-clouded mind.
Hani's smile is different now when you look at her, and the tilt of her head confuses you further.
"Here he is, the champion graces us with his presence!"
Hobi says all of a sudden.
You realize that Hani was trying to let you know that Jungkook was on his way.
He stops next to you and it's strange to meet him in a context other than the gym. You felt more or less the same feeling when he gave you that lift that evening, but now you have the opportunity to see another aspect of his person and the way he is dressed is proof of that.
Jungkook seems like an outgoing and sociable guy when it comes to training his members at the gym. As you watch him now though, he seems slightly embarrassed, keeping his hands inside the pockets of his baggy jeans.
Tae takes Jungkook's arm as he responds to Hobi's statement "Technically, I'm not the champion yet."
“Will you let us win any races this year?” Tae asks in a teasing tone.
Jungkook tries to free himself from Tae's grip by pinching his side. "Ouch." Tae chuckles, placing a hand on the pinched spot, while Jungkook rearranges his hair, moving it away from his face.
"It's not my fault that Ducky is the fastest bike on the track."
"Ducky?"
You ask out of curiosity, before you even realize.
Tae and Hobi start giggling in the background as Jungkook's gaze falls on you. He appears surprised by the question, as if he thought you knew. Then, he seems to remember that he never spoke about his bike nor his races with you and his expression changes.
"My Ducati." he replies, playing with his piercing, a habit you think comes when he's pondering or embarrassed.
"Did you give your bike a name?"
Jungkook tells you that many people give their bikes a nickname, explaining that the reason he chose Ducky it's due to the similar sound with Ducati.
You smile in recognition that Jungkook definitely looks like an intimidating and strong guy, but that you became aware of a more thoughtful and playful part of him starting from the night he brought you home on his motorbike. Even this small detail about the moto's name fits perfectly with the Jungkook that you got to know till now.
An interesting mix that is also reflected in the ducati he rides.
“It's cute, I think it suits her!” You chuckle softly.
You notice something in Jungkook's eyes, but it doesn't last long due to Tae's comment.
"No please, don't tell me that you also think it's a suitable name for a motorbike!"
Tae babbles distraught, while Hobi laughs loudly, shaking his head.
"Look who's talkin, the one who called his bike Sonic!"
Jungkook huffs mockingly, rolling his eyes. 
The bickering that takes place in front of you makes you laugh lightly, Hani and Hobi join you as Tae fiercely retorts.
"At least it's related! And it's blue like Sonic! Your bike is not even yellow!"
“Wow bro, so original!”
Jungkook pretends to be overly impressed by his friend's explanation. Tae gulps down the last sip of beer while he wraps his arm around Hani.
"And by the way, have you ever seen a duck run? Those tiny little things are pretty fast!" Jungkook concludes.
At this, even Tae bursts out laughing, almost spitting out the beer from his nose. Everyone has seen at least once in their lifetime a video about little ducks chasing their mother or caregiver. Jungkook evidently emerges victorious from the argument, he chuckles along with all of you and the moment couldn't be more wholesome than this, you think.
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The evening unfolds like this, next to the bar, with laughter and some small bickering between the three guys. You notice from time to time that Jungkook's eyes wander towards you while he speaks and he catches you looking at him sometimes as well.
The alcohol in your system definitely doesn't help make it any less evident.
"Another round? It's on me this time." Hobi shakes his empty beer, starting to move towards the bar when Jungkook stops him by placing a hand on his shoulder
"Just a coke for me, please."
Hobi nods as he appears to reply something like, "I know" before smiling tight-lipped at him.
You watch Jungkook's profile the entire time as he smiles back at Hobi before letting him walk towards the bar.
He looks like one of those smiles that takes over his lips when you catch his mind wandering, back at the gym.
A light smile that seems to hide something more.
When Jungkook turns back to bring his attention back to the conversation in progress, your eyes meet for the umpteenth time and his weak smile widens into a smirk.
He leans towards you slightly, while Tae and Hani continue to discuss something you don't quite listen to and his face gets dangerously close to yours.
“Are you going to keep looking at me all night?”
Jungkook speaks close to your ear, he doesn't whisper but he still makes sure you're the only one to hear him.
The sudden closeness of his body allows your nostrils to immediately capture his scent, the one you've had on you thanks to his motorcycle jacket and as the memory of that evening returns to your slightly alcohol-influenced mind, you smile mischievously.
“How can you say I'm looking at you all the time?”
Jungkook shifts his head slightly so he can look at you better as he says
"Because every time I look at you your eyes are already looking at me,"
You sigh, his voice far too calm to cause such turmoil within you. You try to ignore his usual attempt to make you blush, failing miserably when he continues, “You look like you want something.”
This man right here, damn. He knows, you know he knows the effect he has on you. It's clear.
You feel hotter but you manage to retort.
"And what about you? Why are you looking at me so often?"
The liquid courage you have in your body is enough to make you ask straight away, basking in the feeling of his body so close to yours.
Jungkook's eyes watch you intently and a gleam of amusement adorns his deep irises.
He moistens his lips and the movement of his tongue doesn't escape your gaze, but right as he is about to answer your question, Hobi returns, but empty-handed.
“Sorry guys,” Hobi interjects, his face darkened with worry compared to earlier. "Some problem came up with the registration documents and they asked me to help check." He says hastily as he apologizes once again.
Tae offers to go with him and solve the problem at hand but Hobi shakes his head,
"There is no need, I don't want you to ruin your night with bureaucratic bullshit. See you on the track tomorrow! It was nice meeting you Y/N!
"Pleasure is mine Hobi!"
You reply, giving him a smile.
As you watch him go, you realize that you have just met this boy, and yet you feel that you have made the acquaintance of a genuinely beautiful person.
It's so rare nowadays.
“So guys,” Hani exclaims loudly, catching everyone's attention.
"Tae and I are planning a relaxing ride next Sunday."
Jungkook nods.
"Where were you guys thinking of going?"
You watch your friends discuss the details of the itinerary and realize that you're actually considered part of the trip only when you notice that at the idea of the four of you going on a ride together, Jungkook seems relaxed, almost as if it were obvious to take you around on his beloved Ducky. Maybe your mind is wandering a little too much, but it makes you blush a little.
“It can be done, as long as Y/N agrees.”
The pronunciation of your name draws your attention, refocusing you on the group.
"Mh?
"I said if you feel like getting the necessary moto gear, we can go."
Jungkook repeats, Hani and Tae are looking at you as you try to seriously focus on organizing the aforementioned ride.
"Yes, no problem, but I don't know where to buy what I need."
"I'll take you to the store where I bought mine!"
Hani exclaims with a smile.
“I can get you some gloves but as far as helmet and jacket, make sure you get stuff that's the right size for you.”
You shake your head, saying that you will take care of getting everything you need with Hani.
"Oh, yeah I forgot how small your hands are, it's definitely better if you try them on at the store."
Jungkook evidently can never stop himself from teasing you.
His comment causes a mischievous smile on Tae's face and a very satisfied one on Jungkook's.
Hani purses her lips, trying to hold back a laugh, or whatever she was about to say.
Your eyes roll in mock annoyance as you playfully push Jungkook.
"Okay, it's decided then!"
States Hani, who sports a satisfied smile as she continues, “Oh, I forgot something in the car! Come on Tae.”
She grabs Tae's hand and before you can even point it out, he anticipates you by saying, "But you came in an Uber!"
Hani glares at him, "Just come."
Jungkook laughs, shaking his head at the obvious attempt to leave you two alone, while you watch them go in disbelief and slight embarrassment. You want to curse her, but you know it's what you really want too. You want time alone with him, you want to take advantage of the courage you feel inside this evening to understand a little more this tattooed and lip-pierced mystery.
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The dance floor is full and you can no longer see the bartender behind the bar due to how many people are waiting to receive their drinks.
You don't even remember the last time you attended a party like this, the only thing that comes to mind when you think about it is Ray almost causing a fight with a guy who mistook you for his friend, the fight that came of it once you left the party and the tears you shed because of his sharp words, is the only memory of that last party you attended.
You return your gaze to Jungkook as anger and sadness from past events threaten to make their way onto your face.
There is no need to dwell on the past, past parties are in the past, Ray is not here and nothing stops you from enjoying the evening and putting off your worries about your ex and his passive aggressive messages until tomorrow.
Jungkook watches the dancing crowd, moving his head to the beat of the music as he's leaning against the wall.
You admire him so much, he always seems to have everything under control, no matter the shadow that darkens his face every now and then, he seems to always manage to return to reality and enjoy the little things.
"Want to dance?" You don't give your shyness time to reconsider the invitation that the words have already left your mouth. You hold out your hand as you invite him to join you. 
He looks at your hand briefly before replying with a soft smile, “Why not.” and join his hand to yours.
You clasp your hand around his and lead him through the crowd.
You feel boldness fill you, you hadn't even considered the possibility that he might refuse and happy that he didn't, you reach a spot that isn't too crowded, the volume of the music is louder here and you feel the effect on your skin as your heart follows its own rhythm.
Thanks to what you drank and the need to let yourself go at least for tonight, you let your body feel the music.
His movements are loose and yours adapt to his almost immediately. Jungkook watches you the entire time, paying attention to every movement of your body, as if he wants to imprint them in his mind for later.
When you look up and meet his gaze, this time you hold it, smiling mischievously before turning your back on him.
You continue to dance filled with a wave of audacity, your every movement is seductive for him, who can't take his eyes off of you.
The line of your back is far too attractive to keep at a distance so, all of a sudden, you feel Jungkook's body move closer to yours.
The closeness causes a leap in your chest, but what he says is the cause of the heightened blush on your face.
You feel like your cheeks are perpetually burning because of him.
"What happened to the super shy girl who showed up at the gym a while ago?"
His voice is almost a whisper as you feel his face close to your ear.
You tilt your head back, resting it on his shoulder before answering confidently.
"She has learned to dare more." and with that, you decide to lean against his body completely.
Fuck shyness, fuck fears and comfort zones. If tomorrow you have to deal with the consequences of Ray's reappearance, you want to enjoy this one night to the fullest.
You hear Jungkook chuckle softly as a tentative hand finds its place on your hip.
He caresses you flat and softly from your hip up, his palm just grazing the edge of your bra as you wonder what it might be like without your clothes in between.
"It's clear that you're not that shy tonight, either."
You retort as you roll your hips against his. You feel his hand get slightly heavier on your hip as he presses you gently until your body is completely attached to his.
His other hand reaches for your shoulder and brushes your hair away to reveal your neck.
The gesture causes heat in your lower abdomen, you swallow unconsciously at the unexpected reaction of your body. Maybe it's been too long since someone touched you like this or maybe it's the power that Jeon Jungkook has over your body now, but you feel that at this rate you run the risk of melting in his arms.
“What makes you say that, princess?”
His breath tickles you as he whispers the words directly into your skin. His lips don't even touch you once and you wish they would.
You push your hips against his a little more as you continue to move languidly. His fingers mindlessly caress the curve of your neck and you close your eyes as you enjoy the feeling.
“The way you're touching me now.”
You reply in a small voice as your hand reaches for the one resting on your hip,
you hold it as if it might disappear if you don't.
You shiver slightly when his hot breath teases the thin skin of your exposed neck again and the grip of his hand under yours grows more and more.
“I can do more and better, wouldn't you like that?”
You feel the effect of your movements directly against your butt and it gives you even more confidence.
You feel completely intoxicated by his touch, nothing to do with the alcohol that undoubtedly contributed to you finding yourself in this situation, everything you are feeling now is the work of his touch, of his body against yours and of his words.
You're dying to fuck him, to feel his hands all over your naked body as he whispers dirty things in your ear. But at the same time you don't want this to ruin your friendship, you don't want there to be misunderstandings between you. You can always enjoy the pleasures of sex without unnecessary feelings being involved, right?
You don't feel ready yet and you hope Jungkook is of the same opinion as you, that he also wants to have sex with you without strings attached.
You spin around and your hands rest on his broad shoulders. You look at him for a moment, his eyes dark and full of longing as you whisper in his ear, "As long as it's the only thing you want too."
When you look back at him to decipher his reaction, you notice that Jungkook initially seems surprised by your statement, then a pleased smile forms on his plump lips and his hands suddenly become bolder, moving down from your hips to the small of your back. You barely hold back a moan when you feel the hardness of his member and the firmness of his hands on you.
Jungkook holds you close and you don't know when exactly your bodies stopped following the rhythm of the music. He firmly squeezes one of your buttock while you caress the locks of his nape.
You watch him move closer to your neck once again and this time, you feel his wet lips brush against you just below your ear.
"Are you really the first girl I don't have to give the usual speech to? Am I dreaming?"
His deep voice reaches the parts of your body that you never thought would be affected by a simple voice.
"What speech?" You sigh when you feel his hands move up your back.
"The one that makes my intentions clear."
Jungkook looks back at you, as if wanting to make sure he hasn't misunderstood anything.
"It seems we want the same thing, then."
You state in a rush, feeling the places he touches completely on fire.
"Do we?"
Jungkook tilts his head slightly as he holds you impossibly tighter. You feel completely enveloped by the warmth of his body when his thigh slides and finds its place between your legs.
A soft moan escapes your lips and it seems to trigger something in him, you hear him breathe deeply before asking in a low voice.
“What do you want, Y/N?”
From the tone of his voice it is clear that he knows what you want, he simply wants you to confess it freely.
His thigh twitches between your legs, rubbing just right against the place you want it the most.
You follow its movements, completely enraptured by the sensations you are experiencing.
There is no room for shame right now in your mind clouded by the burning desire for him.
The only thing you can think about is his leg repeatedly teasing your clit and the caresses of his hands along your back.
Your hands tremble slightly with pleasure as they involuntarily grasp the strands falling at the nape of his neck.
Jungkook hisses through his teeth but doesn't resist, in fact he seems to like this little gesture from you.
You look at him for a moment and his adam's apple is so inviting that you can't resist the temptation.
You move his head to the side to get more access and lick the surface up to his jaw.
You would continue to enjoy this lewd moment as long as it lasted.
You thought you would tease each other for a while and then go back to your friends, but no.
Jungkook is just as involved as you are.
The groan that vibrates in his throat reached a part of your brain that is now completely short-circuited.
"I want to fuck you."
The words come out with frightening ease and are enough to make Jungkook look back at you through lidded eyes.
“And I don't want anything more than that.”
You know you're not ready to take that leap, but the uncertainty hidden in your voice reaches somewhere in your chest.
It hurts something when you watch him smile widely at your latest statement.
A fleeting pain, overtaken by the strong desire caused by the hardness of his member, throbbing against your thigh.
“Yeah, we definitely want the exact same thing.”
It was already quite clear, but hearing you say it is something else.
Jungkook moves away from you, leaving your body to the cold void his hands left. 
Then, he grabs your hand, leading you past the crowd and towards the other side of the place.
You look around, convinced he wants to take you to the bathrooms, but you realize that with every step you take, you are getting closer to the locker's room.
"Where are we going?"
You ask loudly, as Jungkook continues his zig zag through the people holding your hand.
"At my place." he answers.
“I thought you wanted to do it in the bathroom, haven't you been drinking?”
You know that driving under the influence of alcohol is a terrible idea.
Jungkook stops in his tracks for a moment noticing your hesitation in continuing and you hear him chuckle before answering.
"I shared a joint before," he looks into your eyes, as you inspect them, "And then, you saw me drinking a cola, I don't drink alcohol."
Jungkook continues to look at you, though his eyes avoid yours now, lingering on your lips.
You want to ask him more but before you can, he leans in close to you to whisper, making your legs tremble in anticipation.
“Besides, why would I take you to a public bathroom when I can make you scream in the comfort of my own bed?”
He knows all too well that he has the upper hand and is taking advantage of it.
Damn Jeon Jungkook and the effect he has on you.
The heat spreads again in your belly and when you look at him you just want to bite that plump lip, tease his piercing and let that mocking smile get lost in moans of pleasure.
“Or maybe you feel more comfortable doing it at yours?”
His tone of voice lacks malice this time, after all, you have now understood that Jungkook is a caring person and therefore he wants to avoid making you feel uncomfortable.
You nod and smile at his consideration.
"At mine."
Jungkook tightens his hand around yours again, smirking.
You quickly reach the exit after collecting your things from the lockers.
And there she is, Ducky.
You will climb on her for the second time, soon there will even be a third, you can't help but smile at the thought.
Strange how different reasons are leading you to get on a motorbike so often, not that this is a complaint, far from it.
You tremble at the thought of experiencing certain sensations once again, this time even, with the prospect of sleeping with Jungkook.
He invites you to wear his gear once again, but you strenuously refuse to deprive him of his jacket this time. Even though he was annoyed at first, Jungkook had to give in to your determination.
December cold is unforgiving.
In order to compromise, you wear his helmet, unable to argue with its importance.
You reach your apartment complex after a while, Jungkook was driving the entire time at a speed well under the legal limit, allowing you to hug his body to shield yourself from the cold as much as possible.
Once you reach the building's underground parking lot, you get off Ducky and take off the helmet to hand it to him. You smile brightly and hear Jungkook chuckle to himself as he shakes his head.
"You really like to ride, huh?"
You look at him while he's fixing his disheveled hair and it's a vision that you didn't think could affect you so much.
You think Jungkook would look sexy even wearing a battered potato sack, but seeing him in these clothes, you think, will always turn you on.
“Oh trust me, I love riding Ducky, but I can't wait to ride you.”
You haven't felt this lustful for someone in a while.
Surely the drinks you had before are not supporting you to keep certain thoughts to yourself.
Jungkook sighs visibly impressed by your bluntness and you could swear you heard him curse.
"Can't wait for you to show me."
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Seeing Jungkook now, in the flesh, inside your apartment is something.
You watch as he places his helmet near the entrance door and places his jacket on top of it before taking off his shoes.
As you do the same, taking off your coat and shoes to put them away, he looks around, taking in the appearance of your apartment. 
The foyer is small but well arranged, with a large mirror and a shoe rack right beside it.
You lead the way to reach your couch in the living room and as you walk, his eyes land on some of your latest sketches scattered around on a counter, one of it appears to be a pair of boxing gloves and he finds himself chuckling like an idiot.
As you do the same, taking off your coat and shoes to put them away, he looks around, taking in the appearance of your apartment. 
The foyer is small but well arranged, with a large mirror and a shoe rack right beside it and the little hallway that connects your entrance to your living area is decorated with pictures, plants and some of your favorite sketches.
You lead the way to reach your couch in the living room and as he walks behind you, his eyes land on some of your latest sketches scattered around on the counter of your kitchen, one of it appears to be a pair of boxing gloves and he finds himself chuckling like an idiot.
"Why are you laughing?"
You're puzzled by his sudden reaction. 
"I like your apartment, it fits your vibe."
He answers quietly and you smile shyly in appreciation, suggesting him to make himself comfortable on the couch.
"Want something to drink?
 You ask him, walking behind the counter to reach your fridge.
"Just water, thanks." 
He replies as he sits comfortably. You get some fresh water and when you get back you offer him the glass.
Jungkook sips from it and you join him on the couch.
Your heart always beats so fast in his presence that by now you're almost getting used to the constant hustle and bustle in your chest.
"You really don't like alcohol."
You say lightheartedly as you gather your legs up on the couch and turn to face him.
You curse your damn mouth when you realize that your comment made Jungkook tense up.
You just wanted to make him feel comfortable but before you can think of something to recover, Jungkook takes another sip of water before replying in a low voice.
"Yeah. I prefer weed, even though I rarely smoke anymore."
His eyes look at you for a brief moment, dark as pitch or a moonless sky.
They then move to the coffee table in front of you to put the glass down.
"I'd say you don't need it anyway. You don't need it to boost your confidence, like me."
Something moves in his eyes when you say this. His hand on your thigh pulls your attention away.
You watch it as it lays on your thigh softly. 
The tone of his voice, his firm aversion to alcohol and his troubled eyes makes you ponder, but you can't formulate any sentence that doesn't risk making him even more gloomy.
Jungkook taught you many things in the gym, undoubtedly to throw good punches, but also to have courage in general, to dare and not to let fears stop you.
He was able to free that part of you that you have always adored, the one that made you achieve your most ambitious goals, despite having to sacrifice a healthy relationship with your family.
And he was able to get you there, easily, without even having to tell you openly what to do.
Despite his tacit support helped you regain a little confidence, you feel like he doesn't need the same. Like he needs you to voice your thoughts with him, even if it's not always as easy as after a few drinks on your system. 
You've always sensed that something keeps him anchored to a remote island in the back of his mind and you don't want him to take refuge there right now.
"You are right,"
Your voice is sweet, it matches his from earlier and with one movement you lift yourself, moving one leg to take it beyond his.
You sit on his thighs and place your hands gently on his shoulders.
Jungkook looks at you smugly and pleasantly surprised and you're happy to notice that island receding in the mirror of his eyes.
They slowly fill with lust for you, as they observe your body so close to his.
“Even though I drank a little, I'm sober enough to say that everything I did tonight, I've always wanted to do.”
Jungkook feels the weight of your body and the weight of your words right on his.
You're sitting directly on his growing member and his hands find their place on your hips as he pulls you closer.
“Wait until you see what I've always wanted to do to you.”
With that, his mouth takes over your neck.
He tastes your skin like he's finally testing a drop of water after a walk in the desert and you're the only source he wants to put his mouth on.
You moan as you tilt your head to let him taste you as he pleases.
Jungkook takes the opportunity to bite you a little, leaving a small blush on your skin and licking it to soothe the stinging spot.
You try to control yourself as his hands venture up your back.
“You have a condom on you?” You whisper all of a sudden.
Jungkook keeps kissing your neck, hesitantly moving one hand from your body only to pull a condom out of his back pocket.
He hands it to you and then grabs the hem of your sweater, stopping his assault to help you take it off. A shiver runs up your spine, realizing you're now in your bra in front of him, the cool air of the room brushes against your hot skin and his hands promptly return to your hips and back.
You squeeze the little silver package between your fingers as he pulls your body against him, your hips move almost automatically as you feel his member getting harder and harder. And in return you get wetter and wetter.
You're a complete mess in his arms as you buck your hips, panting slightly at every movement.
When his hands press you more against him, a loud moan leaves your lips and with it, the last bit of restraint you had.
You grab the hem of his sweatshirt, urgently undressing him.
"Someone is impatient." He chuckles breathlessly as he lets you undress him.
"Your fault." You reply as you move to undo his jeans.
"Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?"
The aroused expression on your face is something he hopes to keep in mind for as long as possible.
You drop down to help him take off his jeans completely and Jungkook remains in his black Calvin Klein briefs. The outline of his hard member held with difficulty in the confines of the fabric, making you salivate at its sight.
You stand up and take the opportunity to remove your pants in front of him, while his gaze is glued to you.
If his eyes could touch, you would feel their stroke everywhere right now, like a dry brush on a virgin canvas.
They eagerly study every single curve, every movement you do is carefully followed as you reveal your panties and legs to him.
“You're so hot Y/N…”
You hear him breathing heavily and only after adding your pants to the pile of clothes do you turn back to look him in the eyes.
He's touching himself through his underwear at the sight of your body and despite everything that already happened, you're still blushing.
You are engulfed in the flames of pleasure, yet the blush on your cheeks is caused by something deeper.
You ignore this thought immediately, setting aside that thing that tries to push to make itself some space and focus on the need that screams between your legs instead.
You climb on top of him again, leaning on his shoulders.
"Jungkook,"
You whisper in his ear, looking him in the eyes right now would mean exposing yourself too much, paradoxically.
What a strange contradiction though.
You're already almost completely naked in front of him, but the idea of letting him look you in the eyes while you say the next words makes you feel too vulnerable.
"If we do this, I want us to agree on a few things."
As you try to regain your courage, you lick his neck, moving down towards his collarbone to reach his pectorals.
"I'm listening."
He sighs as he lets his head go back, as if wanting to give you total access to him, basking in the feelings your tongue is giving.
Jungkook is completely engrossed, he seems to enjoy every little thing without thinking too much while you're struggling to let yourself go completely.
The friendship that has developed between you over these months is something you care about and you wouldn't want to ruin it for simple sex.
Even if you're dying to enjoy these moments you've been craving, you're afraid of ruining everything.
"We're just friends who are going to fuck, right?"
You ask tentatively as you continue to leave a trail of saliva with your tongue and lips across his toned chest.
"No awkwardness after."
You're not sure why you're saying this when you can't even look him in the eyes right now, but at the same time you're saying it precisely to not let your fear stop you.
Maybe you're just trying to convince yourself that nothing will change and that you can let yourself go, or just to make sure you both are still on the same page, but Jungkook doesn't seem to notice your inner conflict right now, too distracted by your ministrations probably.
"This is not going to ruin our friendship if that's what you're worried about."
He states between breaths as he wraps a hand in the middle of your hair.
“The fact that we both know what we want from each other and what we don't, won't cause any problems, don't you think?”
He pulls your hair slightly to expose your neck, and you close your eyes unconsciously when you feel his lips on your skin once again.
"No awkwardness after."
His whisper makes you shiver with pleasure and almost as if you needed to have this confirmation from him, you open your eyes and move to finally be able to lower his underwear.
His penis rises free from the confines and you are a little surprised at the size. He throbs in front of you with the tip red and moist as you observe the succulent veins adorning its surface.
"So we're gonna be ride buddies and friends who fucked once."
Jungkook holds his legs open as you get on your knees in front of him to pull his briefs completely off.
"Let's see if you still want it to be once after I fuck you just right."
You smile sensing Jungkook's usual way of doing things, his classic way of provoking you while he smiles with confidence.
"Bold are we?"
You snicker as you pump your little fist around his shaft a couple of times.
He hisses.
"You've got the lead for now, wait and see when it's my turn."
He says through gritted teeth as he clearly tries not to give in to your touch too shamefully.
"We'll see."
You move closer, gently placing your lips on the side of his cock as you continue to move your hand slowly.
The intense teasing served to make him super responsive.
Jungkook squirms a little when you carefully spread his precum on the sensitive tip.
You hear as he tries to limit his sounds.
You look up momentarily when your mouth finally settles around his moistened tip, only to see his reaction.
Jungkook instinctively brings his head back and his mouth opens in a silent moan of pleasure.
He sighs heavily as his hands grip the fabric of the couch he's sitting on.
The vision of his naked body exposed to your will causes a shiver down your spine and with your free hand you move down until you reach the most sensitive part of your body.
You give yourself pleasure as you move your mouth and hand finding a rhythm that could be pleasant for him.
You listen carefully for any reaction that might let you know that you are doing the right thing as you keep your eyes closed, completely letting yourself go to the small sounds he makes.
When you twist your wrist slightly and let go of his cock with a pop to catch your breath, Jungkook lets out a throaty moan and he is breathing noticeably faster now.
You're so wet now that you think he could fit inside you without too much effort, you continue to tease your clit while jerking him off at the same speed.
You leave a trail of little kisses along his member, from the tip to the balls.
You look at him again and unexpectedly meet his gaze.
You feel your confidence waver for the briefest of moments when you notice his eyes looking at you intently.
His pierced lip is caught between his teeth as he breathes deeply through his nose.
He's trying in every way possible to block any sound that might come from his mouth and it's almost annoying to notice the effort he puts into it.
"Let me hear."
You say softly between small kisses.
“I want to know if I'm doing well or not.”
You tickle with your wet tongue from bottom to top, once again reaching the sensitive tip.
His cock throbs in your hand and you smirk satisfied.
You don't need to hear his moans to know that he's completely into it, but you still want to hear them because of you, it's almost a visceral need at this point.
"You're doing great,"
He responds in a deep voice.
He moves the hair that has fallen in front of your eyes with a finger as he tries to steady his breathing.
A soft gesture that makes your heart skip a beat, but you keep your focus on your movements.
Your hands continue to move in unison as you moan, kissing and licking his cock. You purposely avoid taking him fully into your mouth, teasing him every now and then when you feel the sounds getting stuck in his throat.
You feel pervaded by the power that these circumstances can give.
Jungkook watches you the whole time as you work on him and yourself.
He evidently noticed the effect his words had on you, his little praise gave you more confidence, allowing you to let go a little more.
Jungkook suddenly stops you by placing a hand on your shoulder just when you thought he was enjoying it a lot, or at least it seemed like that from his persistent and muffled groaning.
“Y/N, let me taste you please..”
You hear the desperation in his voice and you can see it in his face when you lean up to look at him, a little bit of saliva wetting your chin.
His eyes are completely dark, full of the longing that you know he can see in your eyes too.
He moves to stand up, forcing you back onto your feet before picking you up.
You yelp at the sudden motion, holding onto his neck for support as he helps you wrap your legs around his hips.
“Where is your bedroom?”
Jungkook asks as he latches onto your already battered neck.
"Down the hallway, second door on the right."
In no time, Jungkook transports you following your directions. He pushes the door open with his foot before entering and letting you lie on your soft bed.
He watches you bounce once on it, then looks you up and down with an unreadable look.
Being in your apartment, on your bed, almost completely naked in front of him, definitely makes you bolder, feeling more comfortable.
You just realized how far you've gone with him, that you can't go back now.
Not that you want to, honestly.
You observe him, majestic in front of you, the faint glow of the moon that leaks into the room illuminates his skin deliciously, accentuating every muscle of his toned body.
Your eyes do their best to capture every detail and imprint it in your memory.
Jungkook bends over you, caging your legs with his powerful arms.
You remain propped up on your forearms as your breathing becomes increasingly labored.
His hands rest at your sides and with a firm but delicate movement, he pulls you towards him.
He bends down to let his tongue leave a wet trail across your belly, to the edge of your panties.
The passage of his mouth so close to your core, feeds the fire in your belly.
"Can I?"
He asks softly as his thumbs hook your panties on both sides.
He looks at you, patiently waiting for your permission.
Or your refusal.
You see a hint of hesitation in his gaze, as if he doesn't want to go any further against your will.
You can feel this small detail slowly infiltrating under your skin. You feel it brings to the light something that you would have preferred to remain in the dark, especially in this moment.
Ray.
Why did he always assumed he could take everything without ever asking?
Why doesn't Jungkook take without asking?
These are questions you can't answer. Deep down you know you don't want them, that answers would only cause you more pain.
You swallow, trying to shut off the bitter taste of the past.
"Please…"
You can't say anything else, you whisper this simple word that encompasses everything you're feeling right now.
Please do it.
Please make me forget all the bad things for tonight.
Please take me.
His eyes light up and his skilled hands easily remove the fabric that covered your most intimate part.
Only now you do realize how uncomfortable and annoying the wet fabric you were wearing was.
You feel the cool air hit the moist and hot skin of your pussy and you sigh when his hands return to you after leaving the newly removed garment somewhere on the floor.
He gently places his hands on your thighs, spreading them just enough so he can observe your dripping wet pussy.
Seeing the glisten of your juices makes his blood burn in his veins.
You gasp when his soft lips lay on your clit.
Jungkook is humming delightedly, then he starts to kiss it with delicacy, allowing you to adapt to the stimulus while he lets his tongue tease you slowly.
You close your eyes and try to relax your legs.
His lips are more insistent, until he ends up making out with your soft wet pussy.
You can't hold back your moans and you lie down completely on the bed as you let him eat you out.
Just as you had done earlier, he maintains a slow but precise pace, as if he wants to take revenge for all the teasing and savor your flavor at the same time.
Unlike his, your moans follow one another and you can't stop yourself.
They gradually become stronger and more intense as Jungkook continues to make out with your pussy.
He holds your hips, soothing the skin right beneath his thumbs with circular motions.
It's a sensation you've never felt before, you feel your orgasm building slowly, so slowly that you almost think you'll lose it at any moment, only to change your mind when with precise movements you feel the pleasure accumulating, like waves that add to each other. One after another, before reaching the coast in one large, powerful wave.
He moves his tongue with a constant rhythm and when with a faint voice you warn him that you are about to come, surprisingly enough, Jungkook maintains the same rhythm, he doesn't speed up, he doesn't press his tongue more forcefully against your already very sensitive clit.
With pleasant surprise, you notice that he keeps this pace and it is clear that he knows what he is doing.
He doesn't go crazy trying to catch it, when he already knows where and how to find it.
The only difference is the intensity with which he makes out with your pussy, kissing and licking it passionately, drunk on your juices.
You moan louder as your body tenses more and more like a violin string, until with a delicate but firm movement of his tongue, your orgasm hits you violently.
With his gentle and precise gestures, you didn't expect such an intense and violent orgasm, your body writhes in ecstasy while a string of profanities and panting breaths leave your lips.
Your legs try to close as they tremble from the stimulation, but Jungkook firmly separates them again, enjoying the taste of you for a little longer. You hear him groan and at a quick glance you notice his frowning expression.
You whine from the overstimulation and it's the only signal that seems to stop him.
He pulls off while still remaining in front of your throbbing and swollen pussy and his labored breathing tickles you gently.
“Sorry,” he states, licking his shiny lips for a moment. “You taste so sweet I couldn't stop.”
You look at him while you feel a constant pounding in your chest and your breathing doesn't want to calm down.
His hair is disheveled, his cheeks are flushed and his eyebrows are still a little furrowed.
You prop yourself up on your elbows again, one hand reaching for his hair, letting it sink into its messy locks, as if wanting to tidy them up a bit.
"I wanna ride you now."
You state decisively and perhaps a little too pretentious, you add,
"Can I?"
Jungkook looks at you as he stands up, offers you a hand while you observe him in all his beauty, naked and with his erect member that you can't wait to welcome inside you.
Tonight you got to immortalize every detail of his body in your memory.
His totally tattooed arm, his sculpted body and his face, at times so sweet that you couldn't believe it is capable of contorting into those expressions of pleasure that you saw earlier.
You accept his hand and let him pull you onto him while he says "How can I say no when you ask it so nicely."
You smile mischievously and take the opportunity to accompany him, pushing him by the shoulders onto your bed.
Jungkook takes place where you were laying, he sinks into your sheets as he settles in.
You reach him with your legs still shaking and climb up until you're almost sitting on his thighs.
You pick up the condom that you had previously abandoned on the bed next to you, but before you can open it to let him put it on, you can't resist the temptation to put your mouth back on his inviting cock.
You give a provocative lick, spreading your saliva all over the surface you trace and you understand how much he too wants to finally be able to feel you when his hips suddenly move upwards.
"Fuck-"
You continue to lick slowly for a few moments while you stimulate him a little with your hand.
When you look at him, he's already looking at you and it doesn't surprise you, his mouth is slightly open as he tries to regulate his breathing.
He looks so sexy right now, you can see in his expression the immense heat burning in his irises. The need he feels to possess you.
"Stop teasing me."
His voice is strained and his face speaks clearly: if you continue like this he won't resist much longer, he can't wait to see you jump on his cock.
The mere look in his eyes makes you clench your walls in anticipation and with a little effort you finally get him to wear the condom.
You move to finally be able to position yourself on his erect member and begin to lower yourself. A shiver runs through your limbs, the small tingling you feel as he penetrates you is almost immediately replaced by pleasure.
Jungkook is big, but you're so wet that he can slide inside you with ease.
You support yourself with your hands on his chest as you close your eyes to fully enjoy the sensations you're feeling. You continue to move down until you are completely seated on him. You feel full, his hands resting on your hips and squeezing you lightly.
When you reopen your eyes, you look at him and get lost for an infinite moment in front of what you see.
Jungkook looks at you through eyes half closed in pleasure, he's been looking at you the entire time, as if the scene in front of him is the key to understanding the entire movie.
If memory had any capacity, this moment would take up most of the space in Jungkook's mind for a long time to come.
After a few moments, you feel like you've gotten used to his girth and can finally move up and down.
Despite your legs still shaking from your previous orgasm, you manage to move at an increasing pace.
You moan without caring about the sounds you make, music to Jungkook's ears as he lets you do what you want with him, accompanying your movements with his hands.
You move messily as your legs start losing strength. You alternate your motions by rubbing your clit on him, moaning loudly when you feel your little sensitive nub stimulated like this and the squelching sound of your pussy fills the room. 
Jungkook hastily moves his hands behind your back, pulling at your bra to unclasp it. He doesn't take it off of you completely though, finding it more sexy the way he jumps up and down following your movements. 
"Fuck yes.."
He groans as he watches hypnotized your breasts bouncing out of your bra.
Then he tilts his head back onto your pillow as his arms flex with the motions of your body.
You bounce on his cock the best you can, tracing the side of his throat with your thumb, right above a little red spot you sucked on his skin.
The vision is enchanting.
The sounds he makes, addicting.
You're breathless, the muscles of your legs are burning from the effort but you keep bouncing and humping as you feel you're close to the second orgasm of the night.
"I-I'm clo-"
You're so close to the point of no return but suddenly, your legs are failing you and just like that, you tiredly collapse on his body.
Jungkook is quick to react, grabbing your hips tight enough to support you and adjust his position under you as he starts to thrust up.
Your moans are broken by every thrust as he diligently hammers your pussy up just right.
"You're so hot Y/N. So fucking hot."
He groans softly, pulling you impossibly closer.
You feel strange, like you're burning alive and flying at the same time.
You comfortably lay on his body as you let him lead you to the peak of your pleasure, licking and kissing his neck and ear lobe in the meantime.
"Fuck yes- yes!"
You moan his name as the fire explodes all of a sudden and the extreme pleasure you've built till now, crushes hard on you. And just like that, you feel your legs shake and your head light like a leaf blown by a gentle breeze.
Jungkook's thrusts slow down a little, milking your orgasm slowly till the very end. He only stops when you start whimpering, knowing you're probably super sensitive right now.
He pulls out and you whine to the feeling of emptiness, your walls slightly pulsing as you already miss the sensation of his cock deep inside of you.
"Are you ok?"
He asks you as he tries to stabilize his breathing.
Your body is still glued to his, your breathing is as ragged as his and you let the beating sound of his heart soothe you for a moment longer before you nod.
You slowly get up hissing a little and you look at him.
"Cum on me."
There's no longer space for filters and your brain is so fucked out that it doesn't even care how needy you sound right now. Even after your two orgasms. 
You're craving his touch, his sinful sounds, and you wanna know what it feels like to have his cum on your skin.
He smiles amused, chuckling a little.
"Yeah? And where do you want me to cum?"
His voice is husky and you feel your body reacting to that.
You buck your hips on his cock, blocking it between you and his stomach. 
Are you even sane right now? Did he fuck you out of your own brain?
"On my ass."
Yes, you're totally gone.
You're totally gone for this man.
You watch him as you keep moving on him, you see he swallows a moan as your wet pussy keeps rubbing on his member.
"Aren't you sensitive right now?"
He asks lowly.
"I can handle it."
You sit up, your battered pussy is still recovering from two orgasms but you know you can take it and you just want to show him how badly you still want him inside of you.
He laughs mischievously, looking at your fucked out beautiful face with pride.
"Lie on your belly for me, then."
You willingly obey, throwing your bra out of the way completely and resting your figure on your belly, just as he asked.
You can't see him from this position, you only feel his hand reach for your leg, bending it so that you're able to turn a little to the side.
He now has the possibility to keep looking at your body from this perspective. He has your ass, the side of your breast and your face at his mercy and he can't wait to enjoy your every expression from here.
"Stop me if it's too much."
You feel the weight of his firm body lay on you as he whispers, and when you turn your head to nod you meet his face, dangerously close to yours that you can feel his hot breath caressing you.
You're spread under him, fresh out from the two orgasms he just gave you and totally naked, yet there it is, the look you wanted to avoid earlier, the one you knew would make you feel really, really vulnerable. 
The mixture of his cares, his soft voice and his piercing dark eyes are sending danger signals to your brain as it feeds something deep in your chest.
You try to escape, diverting your eyes from the magnetism of his by nodding.
Jungkook pulls a little away, positioning himself right at your entrance.
You can hear him spit and the next thing you feel is his lubricated cock slowly pushing in.
You never felt like this, never had multiple orgasms and still wanted to fuck. The sensitivity is still there, you feel the heat spreading to your nerves as he slowly but surely bottoms up.
It's only when he starts moving that you feel a peak in your pleasure, like he is able to touch all the right spots at once.
He finds a rhythm, grabbing the flesh of your ass and pulling you to meet his hips.
Your breath is irregular, just like his, and you start pushing your palm on the sheets as every thrust is pushing you up the bed.
Jungkook has a better idea though.
He lets go of your ass completely as he swiftly grabs your arm and blocks it behind your back.
Feeling restrained like this by him causes a moan to escape your throat, followed by another one when he uses your arm as a grip instead of your ass to keep you in place.
"You like that huh"
He says through gritted teeth, the angle allows him to see the profile of your face as he fucks you hard and steady. 
Your sweet innocent face, contorted in pleasure is an ethereal vision to his eyes.
And the fact that it's him causing you to feel this good, makes him feral.
You say yes a couple of times between your moans and heavy breaths.
He speeds up his pace a little more, always cautious of your reactions, not wanting you to feel any discomfort.
But what he hears from you next is what makes his balls tighten dangerously.
"Slap my ass, please-"
Your voice is broken but firm as you say it and something about it makes him go completely insane.
Perhaps the "please" part, or the way in which you're voicing your desire right now, mixed with your sweet moans and submissiveness.
He slaps his free hand onto your buttock hard enough to sting, and listens to the smacking sound and the throaty moan you let out resonate in his ears.
"Oh fuck-"
He lets out, pure ecstasy laced in his raspy voice as he soothes your skin.
His thrusts are becoming sloppier, more erratic, and he's louder than before as he's chasing his own orgasm now.
You're addicted to the sounds he makes during sex, that's clear by now. Every time a throaty moan escapes his lips, you wish you could record it and use it when you'll be alone.
Suddenly, he frees your arm and pulls out. You assume he's taking off the condom as you try to regain some strength to push your hair away and look at him over your shoulder. 
You watch him pumping fast his cock as his free hand strokes the reddened skin of your ass.
His eyes are shut tightly and you keep watching him moan loudly as spurs of his hot cum land on your ass.
He keeps pumping till the last drop then he slaps his cock on your cum covered skin and you've never seen something hotter than what just happened.
When he comes down from his orgasm, he smirks at you, tired and satisfied.
You chuckle softly, covering your face with your arm without even noticing.
“Fuck, that was-”
"Amazing. Yes"
It was, it was indeed amazing.
He finishes your sentence in a small voice as he tries to steady his ragged breathing, still remaining where he is.
You feel his hot seed slowly dripping down your skin and when your breath is stable enough you move to the side of the bed to get up.
“I'm gonna take a quick shower, if you don't mind.”
you say, moving to get to your bathroom.
“Not at all, go ahead.”
When your shower is over and you feel refreshed and relaxed, you return to your room with only a robe covering you, your skin still a little damp under the fabric of the robe.
Surprisingly you find him fully dressed, you sure didn't expect him to stay longer but you at least wanted him to take a shower before leaving.
"Are you sure you don't wanna take a shower too?"
You ask him as you approach.
"Yeah don't worry." you watch him as he brushes his hair out of his face and fixes his clothes.
You remain silent after that, it feels strange and a little heavy.
Should you ask him to stay? 
Will it be awkward from now on? 
Was it a mistake from the beginning?
You don't want him to think you're kind of kicking him out. The unhealthy overthinking starts pestering you and you don't even notice you've walked with him to the door of your apartment.
He gathers his helmet and jacket from the floor and turns to you with a little smile.
"I better go. Don't want Ducky to get jealous."
It makes you laugh lightly and you can't keep yourself from playfully rolling your eyes at him.
It's still him, the Jungkook that loves to tease you and makes silly jokes.
You probably needed this to get back on earth and realize that you should stop overthinking.
"Oh! Of course we don't want that!"
You emphasize and your fake concern makes him chuckle. 
It won't be awkward from now on after all.
You open the door for him and when he comes out he zips up his jacket, ready to leave.
"Let me know when you're going to the shop to get your gear."
He smiles, one of those smiles that make the drums go crazy in your chest.
"I will. Drive safe."
And for a moment you smile at each other, probably knowing that from this exact moment, it won't be easy to keep your hands away from each other.
Tonight marked an important step for you, not only the boost of confidence that you sported, but you can tell with certainty that your past is still bothering you, from time to time, but it doesn't have your present in its claws.
The decisions you made tonight could bring you to another disappointment, to another loss. Especially when this sensation on your chest keeps going off almost as a reminder, telling you 'Hey, in case you didn't notice, I'm right here!'
It will probably pass if you just ignore it…
It will go away as fast as it came… Right?
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aerowolf · 27 days
Text
the mercs realize it's your bday and you didn't tell anyone because your family doesn't do birthdays
I’m so sorry this is a mess between British and American english. I have an American parent and a Canadian one so it messed me up lolll
if didn't include a Merc you wanted, feel free to request and I'll try and add them :]
includes: Miss Pauling & offense classes
cute platonic, gn!reader
warnings: n/a, this is basically all fluff
You'd rather not make a big deal of it being your birthday, even though it is you were taught that birthdays aren't a big deal and your family never really did them.
You kind of wish someone would care but you feel guilty about that so you choose not to tell anyone about it
The only one of these who actually knows it's your birthday is Miss Pauling, who’s seen your personnel files
Miss Pauling
She knows it's your birthday, and instead of ignoring it she decides to at least discreetly make it a good day for you
She arrives on base for a routine inspection, clipboard in hand, but once she's done with the main thing, instead of leaving, she comes to your room
"I saw that it's your birthday today. I don't know if you celebrate, or anything, but, uh, I thought you'd like a gift. Maybe."
She hands you a box, inside are some candy bars and a plush of a bear
"I know it's not exactly the nicest thing, and I know it's kinda... stereotypical... but, y'know, I thought you'd like something. So, happy birthday. From me.” She’s really shy about it, you get the feeling she didn’t--probably still doesn’t--really get to celebrate birthdays either. 
She offers you a ride on her motorbike, something nice, on the open road--away from this base for a little while. You accept, taking a seat behind her, enjoying the open air--though it is pretty hot out. You guys talk, just enjoying the time.
She smiles at you as you get back. “Happy birthday. You deserve it.”
You thank her and even give her a hug. It’s nice that you got this for once. 
Scout
He has no idea whatsoever that it’s your birthday. He’s interacting with you like usual, teasing you, just hanging out. You’re happy as you talk that day; he’s always good at making you laugh and smile.
At some point he notices that you’re a little down, as much as you may try to hide it, he can tell. You’re his friend, and even though he might act like he doesn’t care sometimes, you know he does. A lot.
You tell yourself you don’t want anything on your birthday, that it’s easier if no one knows, but secretly, you do.
“Hey, what’s up? C’mon, ya know I can tell when something’s wrong.” 
You tell him it’s nothing. 
“You sure? Really? You’re kinda… I dunno, sadder than usual.” After he asks a few times, you finally come out and tell him. You don’t say much. Just “It’s my birthday.”
“No kiddin’? Well, why didn’t ya tell me?” He comes off pretty strong. You feel kind of apologetic for mentioning it, and look away from him. “Aw, hey. Y’know what--it don’t matter. I’m gonna throw you a party like you ain’t never seen, believe me.”
You try to tell him you don’t want a party--well, you do. Maybe. No you don’t. Well, sure. But not a big one. He’s really sweet and enthusiastic about it. “Someone like you deserves a big birthday--but if you don’t want it, dat’s okay. Ya know, we could just hang out, or somethin’. You n’ me, yeah?” 
You tell him you’d like that a lot. You both find a quiet spot in the base where you can just talk. He messes around, too, and pops in a Tom Jones record. 
He’s a little shy, a little embarrassed, but he even sings happy birthday to you. He just seems glad no one can hear him. He doesn’t have a gift handy for you, but he ends up scribbling you a quick doodle of him telling you happy birthday. It’s misspelt, but the drawing is cute, and you keep it. “I hope ya had a good day. I’m just sorry I didn’t know sooner.” You tell him that it wasn’t his fault, how could he have known? 
After all is done, he gives you an awkward hug. You smile and return it.
Soldier
He’s a little crazy so he’s just hanging around base, today he had the idea to strip and cover himself in honey, so everyone has had to convince him to please not do that, and now he’s just moping around, muttering about how anti patriotic this all is.
You sit next to him and mope as well. Unlike him, no one knows the reason you’re moping. To anyone else’s point of view, you’re just comforting him--for whatever weird reason. But he sees that you’re just as sad as him.
“What’s wrong, maggot? Is there someone who needs to see my fists meet their face?”
You tell him no, no one did anything. You’re a little intimidated by him, and you don’t see much reason to tell him anyways. But it’s nice sitting with a friend. 
“If it’s not a person, then… it must be an object! Give it to me and I will destroy it immediately.” He’s being as sweet as he can, you smile and shake your head.
You sit there for a bit, smiling as you watch the other mercs come and go. Today isn’t a bad day, just a little sad. Later, you plan to find some kind of sweet treat to eat alone.
Soldier stands up, at attention, and points at you. “MAGGOT, AS YOUR SUPERIOR AND SENIOR, I ORDER YOU TO TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG!”
With a sad smile and a chuckle you finally tell him.
“Your birthday?” Soldier seems genuinely surprised. He places a hand on his chin and thinks. “We cannot go without celebrating! This is momentous!”
Although you try to protest, he turns to the base, stating to every other merc, “LISTEN UP! IT IS Y/N’S BIRTHDAY AND WE WILL CELEBRATE!” 
He makes it his personal mission to decorate for a party that very evening, even gets a cake and everything. He makes every other merc sing happy birthday with him. Maybe this isn’t so bad.
You give him a big hug, and he is surprised at first, but proceeds to give a gentle laugh and hug back.
Pyro
You see Pyro colouring with crayons and coloured pencils on their break, and you sit by them. You don’t really understand what they’re saying a lot of the time, but you enjoy hanging out with them. It’s a long period of silence before you join them in colouring. Regardless of your artistic skills, they’re impressed and encourage you, and are very happy when you show them what you’ve been working on. 
After a little while you get kind of bored and sad. You’ve tried to enjoy this day but it’s another bittersweet birthday. You’re happy to hang out with Pyro though, even though they don’t know what day it is.
Pyro notices that you’ve stopped colouring with them, and that you’re looking at the ground instead, messing with the cracks in the floor.
“Huddah hrmmf mmmrph?” You don’t understand what they’re saying exactly, but you smile at them. They seem to be asking what’s wrong, why you stopped, why you seem so sad.
You hesitate for a moment before finally confessing. They seem to mostly understand what you mean, and they lean back, thinking. 
After a few seconds, they stand up and help pull you off the floor. They point to their room, and you follow them. It’s an odd combination of scorch marks, colourful drawings, weapons, and art supplies. They lead you to a wardrobe and pull out a box. 
Surprisingly, you can see that it's fully wrapped. Did they somehow know it was your birthday? Do they keep these gifts on hand for the mercs?
You won’t get an answer, but they excitedly push it out and offer it to you. “Huddah hmmph!” They sound almost like they are smiling behind the mask. You take the box and open it. It’s got crayons, pencils, and… wow, that’s a drawing of you and them.
You smile, almost ready to tear up, and thank them. You give them a hug, and you notice that they’re hugging you back even harder. Maybe they don’t really understand, but this is sweet.
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randxmthxughts · 1 year
Text
Unrequited Love - Tsu'tey x Omatikaya!Reader
summary: you had been in love with tsu'tey for as long as you could remember. so when you see his heart break again at the loss of another mate, you offer him comfort, expecting nothing in return
genre/warnings: smut!, oral (m receiving), angst, unrequited love
wc: 2k
a/n: this is my first time writing smut, so i hope i didn't screw it up completely. please let me know if there's anything unrealistic or sounds silly (i am a virgin, idk what the hell i'm doing), i'll be glad to change it. also, please don't forget to leave some feedback, replies, whatever you want. i love reading what you have to say, and it always encourages me to write more ♡
masterlist - part 2
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You watch in silence, your focus only on him. As things escalate between Tsu'tey and Jake, people around you begin to gasp and murmur, filling the space with noise. All you want to do is to call out his name, get him out of there. 
It’s obvious to you that his challenge means nothing. He does it to upkeep his reputation, but if he kills Jake, Neytiri will never choose him again. Tsu’tey draws a knife, bending down over Jake’s unconscious body.
“Neytiri was promised to me,” Tsu’tey grabs him by the hair, bringing his knife closer, “This is a demon in a false body. It should not live.”
Neytiri suddenly lunges at Tsu’tey with all her might. She knocks him off his feet and takes a defensive stance over Jake, baring her teeth and knife. You notice Tsu’tey's posture weaken, as he watches his mate claim Jake as her own in front of the whole clan. He knows it’s too late for him to fight, Neytiri and Jake are now mated for life. Your heart aches at the sight of Tsu’tey's bloodied face and the way he spits on the ground before retreating into the forest, disappearing from the crowd.
Desperately, you rush after him, ignoring the noise and commotion breaking around you. It takes some time for you to finally spot his frame, partially hidden between thick bushes, sitting on a rock with his head hanging low in defeat. 
Sylwanin was his first true love. You watched them fall in love while you were still children. Having a crush on somebody who was already claimed was tough on you, but you knew that Sylwanin and Tsu’tey were meant for each other, and you tried very hard to be happy for them.  You remember it as clear as a day when they announced their bond, and the way you cheered for them, joining in on the celebration. But in your heart, you couldn't help but wish for the kind of love that Tsu'tey had for Sylwanin. You prayed to Eywa that she would one day grant you such feeling.
Losing Sylwanin in that tragic accident was devastating already, but being arranged to mate with her sister instead must have been an unbearable burden for Tsu’tey. Your heart shattered into thousands of tiny pieces when you first heard the news, and there was nothing you could do to help. Tsu’tey was a great hunter and warrior, there was no one more deserving of being Olo’eyctan than him. And though he bonded with Neytiri over their shared grief, he knew that he could never love her the same way. When Sylwanin died, a part of him had also died with her. And now, witnessing Tsu’tey lose his mate to another man was agonizing.
“Tsu’tey,” you catch his attention, approaching him.
As if caught in a moment of vulnerability, Tsu’tey sits up straight. You grimace at the blood smeared around his beautiful face, eyes glistening with the threat of tears. Noticing your gaze lingering on him, Tsu’tey hurries to wipe his eyes. Future Olo’eyctan or not, he didn’t like that you saw him like this. Quickly, you reach forward and grasp his wrists, preventing him from hiding his face.
“‘M sorry,” you mumble.
“I’m fine,” he huffs, shaking his hands to free them from yours.
You don’t take offense to his harshness. Growing up, Tsu’tey always had a soft spot for you, but that did not apply during the moments of humiliation. You crouch down in front of him, letting his frame loom over you.
“You shouldn’t have followed me, Y/N,” he says, like it was an order you disobeyed.
You purse your lips, uncertain if Tsu’tey truly means it. Despite being only two years older than you, Tsu’tey still treated you like a child sometimes. Even as a kid, he exuded dominance and strength, his presence alone putting everyone intact. So whenever he saw boys bullying you, Tsu’tey was quick to tell them off. He would then nudge your shoulder, coaxing a smile from you, and consider his job done. But what he failed to recognize, after all these years, is that you never saw him the same way he saw you. Your heart ached every time you looked at him, knowing that he could never be yours, and that his own heart belonged to someone else.
“I don’t want to take out my anger on you,” Tsu’tey’s tone is stern, “You better leave, Y/N.”
“You can take it out on me, I don’t mind,” you say softly, as his eyes widen in confusion.
“I’m not kidding,” he warns you with a low growl.
“Please, let me help you,” you plead with him, resting your palms over his thighs, “I can take it, you don’t have to hold back.”
Tsu’tey rarely heard those words. He was always scolded for being short-tempered, acting out of anger. That those were unsuitable qualities for the future Olo’eyctan. Tsu’tey tried to contain it, but often old habits would slip right back in. He shifted under your touch, gazing at your hands, while his mind went to places where it shouldn’t go. He thought that he was probably reading you wrong, still upset over the fight.
You weren’t sure if this was where you wanted things to head, when you followed him. But right at this moment, you felt like there was nothing else you wanted to do for him. Your heart truly desired to see him relax for a moment, even if it was at the expense of your feelings. As you slowly moved your palms higher on his thighs, Tsu’tey drew in a short breath. He watched you silently until your fingers grazed the edges of his loincloth.
“You don’t have to,” Tsu’tey put his hands over yours, in an attempt to stop you, but all you could feel was the heat radiating off his skin, making your heart race.
“I want to,” you insist, “Let me make you feel good.”
“You know I can never truly devote myself to anyone else but Sylwanin,” his voice drops, and you have to perk your ears to hear him. 
“I know,” you move your fingers to his sides, reaching the ties of his loincloth, “I don’t expect anything in return.”
“Y/N…” Tsu’tey whispers but you shush him.
You notice the way he tries to resist the growing lust, despite longing for it to be satisfied. His mind tells him to walk away but his body doesn’t comply. Would it be so bad for him to get lost in the moment and just let it go? Let himself forget about all of his worries and pretend that he had nothing weighing down on him?
You hesitate before untying his loincloth, waiting for Tsu’tey to stop you, but he doesn’t. As the fabric slides off his sides, revealing his already hard cock, you’re taken aback slightly. Tsu’tey watches your reaction with a hint of shame; he can’t believe he’s already aroused just by the way you undressed him. 
Slowly, you lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his thigh. You hear Tsu’tey’s breath hitch and feel his muscles clench, as you start trailing kisses up his skin. When you reach his balls, you pause. You have never done anything like this before. Sure, you heard girls talk about pleasuring their mates in many ways, but you could only dream about making Tsu’tey happy. It’s scary.
You take a breath before planting wet kisses to his sack, then some more to the base of his member. Instinctively, his penis twitches underneath your lips, and you hear Tsu’tey let out a small moan. Your ears perk up at the sound so pleasant, you wish you could hear it everyday. You’ve never seen this side of Tsu’tey; he was always so stern, so aware of the way he presented himself to others. But here he is now, trembling under your touch, letting his guard down. Feeling braver, you wrap your lips around his sack, sucking in gently. Simultaneously, your fingers find their way around his penis, giving it a light squeeze.
“Tsahey,” he grunts through his teeth.
The sounds he makes are so satisfying, you feel heat rush to your cunt. You try to ignore the growing sensation, as you press your tongue flat against his shaft, and follow along a prominent vein. Tsu’tey’s grabs the back of your neck, bringing your face closer, ordering for more. You had no idea that you were unintentionally teasing him, making him impatient.
Getting his hint, you take the tip of his penis into your mouth, your tongue occasionally grazing the top, as you suck on it. You let the saliva drip out of your mouth and smear it over his shaft with your hand, beginning to draw small motions up and down, your mouth still working. 
“Take it all in,” Tsu’tey grunts, “Please.”
Tsu’tey had never sounded as desperate as he did right now. To please him, you lean in, trying to take his whole penis into your mouth. It was your best attempt, given how big he was, and feeling the tip press against the back of your throat. It tickles your skin like an annoying scratch you want to tend to. As you lose the rhythm of your breathing, suddenly feeling overwhelmed, you pull away. Instead, you work your hand up and down his penis, now completely covered in your saliva. You massage his balls with your other hand, and when you hear Tsu’tey draw in another short breath, your walls painfully clench around nothing. You push your thighs together, trying not to get distracted by your own desire.
As you pick up a rhythm with your hand, Tsu’tey’s muscles are clenching and relaxing at every movement. He starts to grow impatient, wishing to feel the inside of your mouth again, and reaches out to direct his penis into your mouth. You take him in.
“Tsahey,” he grunts again, then lets out a soft moan when you swirl your tongue around him.
Tsu’tey suddenly stands up, forcing you to sit up higher on your knees. This new position now allows him to slide his full length into you, tickling your throat and almost making you gag. Tears prick up at the corner of your eyes, as he starts jerking his hips forward in small, quick motions. To hold you in place, Tsu’tey grabs you by your hair, and starts speeding up, thrusting into you more violently. When he tugs at your queue, you let out a small whimper.
Distracted by the sound you just made, Tsu’tey slows down, locking his eyes on yours.
“Will you be alright?” he asks, his breath shaky. You suck on him as a sign of approval, “I just need a moment, I'm almost there."
Tsu’tey grips the back of your neck, and picks up the speed of his thrusts again, hitting the back of your throat with a new force. He is going harder on you, desperately chasing the wave of pleasure. Your mouth felt so warm, so soft around him, cheeks sucking and pressing against his length. The tears in your eyes turn your vision blurry, and you try to blink them away, to watch his face. He looks so beautiful.
Suddenly, you feel his member clench, and Tsu’tey pushes into you a few more times. His movements become sloppier, and when a loud groan escapes from his lips, you feel warm bitter liquid filling out your mouth.
“Mawey,” he whispers, his lids heavy, as he pulls out. 
He presses his fingers against your chin, lifting your head just enough to encourage you to swallow. You gulp down, maintaining eye contact, and Tsu’tey hums with a smile, satisfied. Your cunt clenches painfully, pleading for attention, and you squeeze your thighs again, trying to calm yourself down. 
Tsu’tey notices it immediately, eyes now lingering on your loincloth. You look away, embarrassed to get caught by him, and wipe your mouth.
“Thank you, Y/N,” he says, still standing bare in front of you.
It’s awkward, you don’t know how to behave now. You stand up, still not meeting his eyes.
“Feel a little better now?” you ask softly.
“Much better,” Tsu’tey places his fingers under your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes, “Do you want me to help you with that?”
Your cunt clenches again, when his gaze trails down your body. You feel heat rush to your face at the mere thought of Tsu'tey pleasuring you. But you’re too flustered, you’re not sure you can endure it. 
“No, this is not about me,” you shake your head, “I wanted to make you feel better because you didn’t deserve what happened.”
“I must be a fool,” Tsu’tey admits with a guilty sigh, “I never thought that you... that there was something.”
“I know you hadn’t,” you dismiss the way his eyes burn into yours.
“You deserve someone better. Who is not as broken as me,” his hand cups your cheek to offer you comfort.
“Please don’t,” you pull away, interrupting him before he can pity you, “I know you don’t feel the same, Tsu’tey, it’s alright.”
You force a small smile, blinking away the tears in your eyes. The moment between you is fleeting, but it weighs heavy on your heart. You know that he can never love you.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
part 2
1K notes · View notes
bluebeary-jay · 1 year
Text
Reason
(Joel Miller x Reader)
Summary: things go wrong when you try to cross a small city. joel almost gets himself killed and you finally confront him about why he never seems to trust you with anything
Tags: angst and fluff, probably a little ooc, a bit of humor, love confession
Warnings: mentions of violence and wounds (but nothing very graphic), age gap, swearing
Word count: 3.8K
A/N: this is my first fic ever published so i'm kinda nervous but i couldn't stop thinking about this guy. english is not my first language so excuse any mistakes. hope you enjoy <3
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Joel was acting like nothing was wrong.
Which wasn't exactly anything new, really. Ever since you knew the man, he always had this rough exterior, that ‘do not fuck with me’ aura around him, and was never, ever, one for showing emotions.
Back in the QZ, when he and Tess sometimes let you hang along with them to get a job done or sneak into the restricted territory, you saw how he burst, pent-up and concealed emotions spilling out of him at long last when something went horribly wrong. He had never aimed his yells at you, though, even when it was clearly your fault that someone noticed you or you fucked up your part of the job.
Just like today. You weren't exactly to blame this time – something heavy fell over around the corner of the building you were sneaking by, and the thug looking for you three spotted you as you were ducking behind a car. Shit like that often happened when you had to work in the ruins of the old world.
Then you got separated from Ellie and Joel when the gang shot at you. All of you saw before that the street was blocked and you were practically surrounded. You barked at the pair to get out of here and that you’ll join them later, and ran in the direction of the ravaged stores, hoping to find a way around the blockade.
You remembered bullets firing at you and missing your head by centimeters. You remembered shooting and killing some of the guys chasing you, then screaming when you bumped into one of them and they grabbed you. The kicks to your stomach, the struggle, some nasty comments made by the thugs before you managed to stab one of them through the cheek. You remembered faces contorted in fury and a man lifting a gun to your head.
In that brief moment, you were glad it was you who was about to die. Better you than–
The man who was about to shoot you dropped his pistol after a loud bang pierced the air and he fell to the ground, dead. Others were soon to follow, too slow in drawing their own guns. It was Joel, of course, all bloodied and livid, blasting a head after head of the guys who were trying to hurt you. You were pinned face down to the floor and couldn’t do anything but watch as he fought them with only his knife and bare hands, as the corridor he was in was too narrow to make use of the gun without it catching on a wall or his clothes. You struggled and tried to break free, unable to bear the sight of the men’s blood mixing with his own from the growing number of cuts on his skin.
The thug holding you down apparently decided to finish you off, but didn’t have a chance before Joel tackled him to the ground, receiving another long gash below his ribs. For one terrifying moment you were sure he was stabbed in the chest and your whole world stopped. But the grunts and curses coming from the spot where Joel was knocked down on the ground quickly told you that he was fine.
You saved Joel just in time, driving a sharp shard of metal into his attacker's neck. After that the older man quickly looked you over, asking if you were hurt, and when you told him no, he grabbed your arm and led you to where Ellie was waiting.
All of you managed to get out and it didn’t seem like the gang was following you anymore. Excluding a couple of cuts and scrapes you all were fine and alive, which had to be a goddamn miracle.
That didn’t mean you weren’t absolutely furious.
Joel knew it and you suspected that’s why he was so insistent about walking in total silence, sending you and Ellie angry glares every time either of you opened your mouth. You were shooting daggers at his back as he walked in the front and even Ellie had to sense the tense atmosphere, for she was unusually quiet.
You knew Joel Miller was a protector at heart. That, among other things, was what made you care for him more than anyone else in your life, more than you’d care for a companion or even a friend. His caring, gentle nature hidden from the world under the rough exterior was what ultimately made you fall for him.
But no matter how attractive and admirable you found him, it drove you up the fucking wall that he never listened to you, never let you do anything even slightly risky or dangerous, like he always expected you to mess up. He didn’t even want you to sneak outside the QZ with him and Tess, and it was the other woman who finally convinced him.
You hated the thought that he might see you as a daughter, or worse - a burden. But the age gap between you two seemed bigger and bigger every time he did something like that, going after you because he didn’t trust you to get the job done.
And you hated it.
Only when the place you’ll spend the night in was picked and Joel took off his backpack with a wince of pain, you marched over to him and shoved his chest in frustration. Even though he was tired and hurt, he still towered over you and was much heavier, which made taking your anger out on him extremely difficult.
“The hell you're doing?” he asked incredulously, looking almost surprised at the fury painting your face.
“Don’t you ever think about doing something like that again, Joel!” you yelled at him, knowing you’re too far for any unwanted ears to hear you screaming. “I fucking told you to take Ellie and run! Why the hell did you come back?!”
“You’d prefer me to leave you behind and let those bastards do whatever sick things they wanted to do? A ‘thank you’ would be nice.”
Okay, now you were seething. You clenched your jaw and pushed him again, feeling honestly so fed up with his bullshit.
“Why don’t you ever listen to me?! You almost fucking died, not to mention you put Ellie in danger, too!”
“Hey, I was safe!” Ellie chimed in, straightening from the place she was sitting in on her sleeping bag. “And there wasn’t actually–”
“Ellie,” Joel cut her short harshly, making it clear it’s not the time for her usual sarcasm. She rolled her eyes and muttered something about grumpy old men, turning their back to them.
You huffed and turned around, going deeper into the woods. Joel said your name but when you didn’t react he went after you with long strides, grabbing your arm and halting you.
“Will you tell me what’s going on?”
“You know damn well what’s going on!” You yanked your arm out of his grasp. “I told you to go and you didn’t listen, like always, and probably had to hack your way through the whole group of these idiots just to almost get yourself killed because of me!”
“Did you really expect me to leave you behind?” he asked with his voice raised.
“Yes! At that moment it wasn’t about me, I was thinking about Ellie and you! She’s way more important than I am! You’re more important!”
“Don’t you dare say somethin–”
“Do you think I’d be able to take Ellie across the country without getting any of us killed?!” You threw your hand to the side, huffing with anger. “I don’t have your skills and experience. You’re the only one able to handle it on your own, so if any of us is to die, it will be me, no questions asked.”
“Like hell it’ll be you!” He was seething now, too, and he came up to you in two long, angry strides, stopping just before he could stomp on your shoes. Suddenly you two were so close that you could feel his breath on your face. “I am not fucking letting you get yourself killed! Not now and not ever.”
“Can’t you just think logically for a second?!” you shouted in his face, tears of rage and helplessness gathering in your eyes. “I’m a goddamn burden to you both! Yes, it was me who alerted them of our presence and I understand that’s probably why you never trusted me…” Actually saying those words out loud was more painful than you anticipated and you had to take a deep breath to calm yourself down. “It’s just, I can’t fight like you can, I’m not as valuable as Ellie, I…”
You had to press your lips together not to sob accidentally. Although you knew you had to make your point across, you still didn’t want Joel to see how weak you actually are.
“But I’m not fucking useless, understand?” you said sternly, looking him dead in the eyes. “I am gonna help you both go as far as possible, but if we’re ever in that kind of situation again, you’re leaving me behind and I’m buying you and Ellie as much time as I can.”
His expression hardened and he started to shake his head, but you beat him to it.
“I know you never wanted me to go on any missions with you, but just once let me be useful, alright? Even if all I can do is buy you a couple of precious minutes.”
“By letting yourself die.”
He said it with such finality and disbelief, all your anger got swept off and replaced by weariness. You sighed heavily and leaned against a tree.
“Yes, Joel. I know you’d rather not lose anyone else, but if I have a chance to help those I care about…” You realized you said too much and shook your head. “I don’t understand why it is such a big deal for you.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. His warm brown eyes were on you and for the first time ever you wished he'd look away. You turned your head and sighed again.
God, you were so very tired.
“I’m going to look for some firewood. You go check if the place is safe, alright?”
“No, listen–”
“Just this once, Joel,” you cut him off, not turning around. The tears that have gathered in your eyes before were threatening to spill down your cheeks and you weren’t going to show him how much this situation has pained you. “Just this once, drop it. Please.”
This time he didn’t stop you when you wandered further away from the camp and you truthfully didn’t know if it was better or worse.
*****
The rest of the evening went by mostly in silence. Ellie tried to lighten up the mood by reading some bad jokes from her book and though Joel was his usual grumpy self, it actually helped you a little. The girl seemed pretty proud of herself about making you crack a smile, but her efforts to bring Joel into the conversation came to naught. The smile disappeared from your face every time your eyes met and he looked away.
He almost didn’t say a word throughout your meal and preparing for bed, only muttering something under his breath when Ellie told you both goodnight. You were so tired that you managed to fall asleep almost immediately despite the worry and sadness gnawing at you when your thoughts drifted to the man laying on the opposite side of the fire.
When you opened your eyes again, the dawn was only just breaking. The air was cold and crisp, and you groaned, shivering and pulling your coat tighter around yourself, only to realize something else was draped over your form.
You rubbed your eyes and noticed the familiar green jacket covering your torso. Its owner was a couple of feet away, sitting with his back to you on a big log. The rifle lay next to him, propped up against the fallen tree. Your shoulders slumped at the sight of him and you remembered your argument from last night. You almost laid back down, but ignoring his act of kindness felt wrong, so with a quiet sigh you stood up, making your way to where he was sitting.
Joel glanced to the side when you approached and his gaze was instantly drawn to his jacket you wrapped around yourself.
“You were shivering,” he muttered, apparently knowing what you were about to ask. He said it as if giving you his jacket was the most sensible thing to do in a situation like that.
Was that an attempt to say he’s sorry for how he reacted earlier? You decided not to question his intentions too much and instead sat down next to him, nailing your eyes on the patch of recently disturbed ground.
“Thanks,” you replied under your breath, still not looking at the man. “But you didn’t have to. You’re probably cold now.”
“M’not.”
Liar. Stubborn as always.
None of you said anything else for a long time. You contemplated whether you should just go back to your sleeping bag and leave his jacket on the log, or stay and try to defuse the tension between you two. Somehow neither of these options appealed to you but it was so difficult to just sit here in silence and–
“I’ve been thinkin' about what you said,” Joel spoke up suddenly and very quietly, which interrupted your dwelling. “And I couldn’t stop remembering how damn sure you sounded when you said I don’t trust you.”
A wave of uneasiness washed over you and you wrapped his jacket tighter around yourself. “It’s okay that you don’t,” you said slowly, not really sure what he was getting at. “I mean, I’m not sure if even I would trust my–”
“That’s the thing,” he interrupted you with an irritated sigh and turned his head to look at you with his brows furrowed. “I do trust you. I just have no clue how…” Another sigh. “How I could’ve fucked up so badly that you’d think that.”
You blinked several times, not sure if you weren’t still dreaming after all. It kind of felt like a dream when he was sitting so close to you, his jacket around your shoulders and a rising sun painting his hair in a golden light.
“But you never let me do anything important or dangerous on my own,” you contradicted quietly, which caused Joel to drop his head loosely and close his eyes. “You’re always against taking me with you anywhere, and–”
“That’s because you’re important to me!” he cut you off, evidently louder than he intended, because he immediately glanced at you and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Sorry,” he muttered. “It’s just hard for me to understand how… how did…”
Joel seemed at a loss for words and you longed to touch him, to take the burden of carrying the conversation from his shoulders and ease the weariness on his face, but you weren't really sure what he intended to say. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but it almost sounded like…
“I can’t bear the thought of losing you,” he said softly at last and you could pinpoint the exact moment you stopped breathing. Joel’s eyes were closed and he was propping his forehead on his hand, and he looked so… sad. “That’s why I never wanted you to take any risk, because if something happened to you and I weren’t there to protect you…”
He swallowed heavily, inhaled, then straightened up and looked over at you. The look he gave you was so tender and open, it was almost difficult to focus on his words.
“I care about you, too,” he whispered, and you remembered what slipped out of your mouth when you were arguing earlier. “A lot. Much more than I should, but I can’t… I can’t help it.” He turned to look forward, his eyes narrowing from the sunlight creeping from between the trees, and he looked so beautiful in that moment, you wished you had a camera on hand.
“Joel,” you breathed, but he shook his head.
“I didn’t want to make shit weird between… us.” He waved his hand in a vague gesture. “So don’t feel pressured into sayin’ anything. Just don’t expect me to idly stand by while you’re risking your life because–”
“Joel,” you repeated, louder this time, which finally made him shut up.
“What?”
You didn’t really know what you were going to say. You just wanted him to stop talking because he was only torturing himself with this ramble and you couldn’t bear it.
Very slowly, and very gently, you took Joel’s hand in your own and moved it over to your lap. Ignoring his eyes on you, you traced the length of his calloused fingers and brushed the center of the palm where a cut from a couple of days ago was still healing. Your heart was beating so damn loud in your ears, you wouldn’t hear if a parade of clickers just walked past you both, but with all your might you tried to keep your breathing steady and your face from going beet red.
He said you were important to him. That he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. He didn’t see you as a burden as you feared, so maybe… maybe he didn’t view you as a kid, as well.
Throwing all caution to the wind, you laced your fingers together and brought them to your lips, leaving a small kiss on his bloodied knuckles. Joel tensed in a split second and you weren't sure if he was still breathing, but you didn’t look at him in fear that his expression may take away the remnants of your temporary courage.
“If I misread you, this is gonna be painfully awkward,” you mumbled in a feeble attempt to defuse the tension in the air, so thick it was almost choking you. “But I’m still grateful you told me all thi–”
His other hand – the same hand he was ready to kill and protect with, with which he was ready to tear his way through the mass of enemies just to save you – lifted itself to your face and cupped your cheek. Joel was looking at you with wonder, the fingers you cradled in your own twitching slightly as if he was holding back from tightening his hold. His eyes seemed like they were made out of liquid gold in the light of the morning sun and he looked at you with such adoration that you once again humored the thought that it was just all some cruel, vivid dream.
But no, it couldn’t have been. Not when Joel’s skin was so cold against your burning face and not when his eyes flickered to your lips…
It was you who leaned in first, but once your lips touched, Joel took the reins, untangling his fingers from yours to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer.
You expected him to be rough and confident, just like he was during a fight, to take what he wanted and devour you – at least that’s how you always imagined kissing him would be like. What you didn’t expect, however, was a trembling sigh that escaped him when you two parted for a moment to take a breath and a gentle touch of his fingertips along your jaw. His hold on your body was by turns firmer and more loose, like he was afraid he’d scare you off if he let himself use too much strength.
You, on the other hand, had no reservations in taking his face in your hands firmly and parting your lips, encouraging him to go on. It seemed to work at first, because Joel pulled you in even closer, letting you crawl onto his lap, but then he stopped abruptly and moved you gently away, still keeping his hands on both sides of your face.
“Darlin’, I need to know if you’re sure about this, because I won’t be able to…”
You pressed your lips to his again, this time much slower and more delicate, in an attempt to silence him. Joel finally relaxed when you cupped his face and planted a kiss on his brow, always so furrowed in concern and worry.
“Joel, I wanted you to kiss me for the whole time I knew you. I really, really care about your bullheaded skull.” You looked down at him with a playful smile, to which he chuckled. “Though you’re shit at sending signals. I was sure you hated me.”
“Well, you are hard to deal with sometimes,” he mused in a teasing tone and you jabbed him in the stomach before he managed to grab your wrist. “But I… I'm sorry that I made you feel this way. Like you didn’t matter to me.”
You furrowed your brows at the uncharacteristic vulnerability and sadness in his voice and your worry must’ve etched itself in your eyes because when Joel looked at you, he turned away and closed his eyes immediately.
“Listen, you know now you matter to me more than anyone else in this cursed world. I don’t want to ever be as worried sick about you like I was yesterday,” he whispered. You brushed some hair off his face and the creases on his forehead softened a little. “And I don’t ever want you to think you’re not important. You’re… fuck, you’re the goddamn reason I’m doing all this. You're my reason, you hear me?”
You just nodded with a wide smile that threatened to split your face in half.
“I understand,” you answered, just as quietly. “You’re also the reason I’m doing all of this for.”
This time it was unclear who initiated the kiss. Nevertheless, you ended up held tightly in his arms, marveling at his touch on your skin and the feeling of his chapped lips on yours, and there wasn’t any other place you wished to be in.
It lasted just a couple of seconds though, because you were interrupted by the sound of fake barfing and gurgles of disgust coming from the direction of your camp.
“Gross!” yelled Ellie loudly, but she had a shit-eating grin on her face when she squinted at Joel holding you in his lap. “Don’t suck faces when there are children present!”
“Shut up!” Joel yelled back, but without any bite in his tone. A soft smile played on his lips when he looked back at you. “She’ll be insufferable now,” he murmured and you snorted at how done he sounded. He mirrored your expression and held your hand to his face to kiss your fingers tenderly, which made Ellie gag even louder.
“If you start making out in front of me, I won’t hesitate to throw a fucking sandwich at you!”
“She won’t,” muttered Joel, not even turning to the teen before he leaned in and kissed you slowly again.
You smiled into the kiss, barely noticing stale pieces of bread flying over Joel’s shoulder.
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kiatheinsomniac · 9 months
Note
Hiii!! can i request a scenario where in a cold night, alucard pulls reader down on his lap just to cuddle into her/their warmthness, and acts all clingy and handsy towards her/them??? sorry if it sounds vague, is just a short scenario i have in mind, feel free to fill with anything else <3
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──── 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘! ˊˎ -
☾ ⋆ ゚𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: I've mostly been prioritising my commissions which is why my lineup from my 2k followers event but I've hit a bit of writer's block so I've decided to do a little request to try and feel more refreshed and get writing. But in the meantime, my 2k followers lineup is still paused for my midsummer sale 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Adrian 'Alucard' Tepes x Reader 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 0.7k 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: none
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You enter the drawing room, hair wet from the bath you've left not ten minutes ago. After a day of helping to repair the damaged castle, you found yourself covered with dirt and in need of a wash before settling down for the evening.
Trevor and Sypha are gone so it's just you and Alucard now and - as much as you miss the other two members of your little quartet - you're almost glad that they're gone because you finally have time alone with Alucard. Since you first started working together after you and Trevor defeated the cyclops, freeing Sypha and later awakening Alucard, you've felt something. Some spark between you that just didn't have the conditions to catch fire just yet. But you've got it now and you couldn't be more grateful for what's blossomed between the two of you in the meantime.
You giggle as Adrian pulls you down into his lap the moment you're in arms reach, limbs tangling as he lets himself topple over on the sofa with your added weight. He's careful though, attentive as he always is. The back of his hand cradles your head and his arm curls around your waist to pull you close to his strong body as you fall together, assuring that you won't get so much as the slightest bruise as you fall down in an embrace together.
Immediately, he's letting out a pleased hum and holding you as close to him as possible. He tucks your head beneath his chin and then tilts his head down, burying his face in your hair. He inhales deeply as he squeezes you a little tighter and his entire body then slackens in relaxation when you wrap your arms around him in return.
Since the two of you have finally had time alone together, he's been very clingy and you don't blame him at all. He's been so alone since his mother died, he's faced monsters and has been made to kill his own father. He hasn't really spoken about any of it yet but you're sure he will soon enough, once he's had ample time to gather his thoughts and begin to process his feelings. You can't imagine what it might have been like for him if you weren't here to keep him company. Then again, you're sure that Trevor and Sypha wouldn't have left him at all after knowing he's had to kill his father to save Wallachia.
You bury your face in his chest, finding it surprisingly pillowy for how toned he is. Shortly after, you can feel Adrian tangling your legs together and you openly embrace it as the two of you lay there together. His hands roam over your body and you let out a content little hum as they squeeze your hips and roam the plains of your sides. He takes to rubbing your back and you shift a little so that you can tuck your face into where his neck meets his shoulder. His hair tickles your face a little but it's soft and silky against your skin and the feeling of his hand rubbing your back while his other arm stays protectively and affectionately curled around you lulls you into a sleepy state.
Intimate touch like this has grown so common in the days since your quartet has split in half. The two of you finally have time alone for your relationship to grow and for you to be able to be so openly affectionate with one another like this.
You're not sure how long the two of you lay there, just chatting about your plans for repairing the castle and hold, the next day, but you find yourself veering off topic with one question:
"Adrian... can I sleep in your bed tonight?" You squeeze him gently, "You're so warm..." His hand stops rubbing your back in favour of reaching up to brush your hair away from your face.
"Of course." He says gently and there's a practised sincerity in his voice. He's trying to hide his excitement. He'd love nothing more than to hold you in his arms all night; to have you be the last thing he sees before sleeping and the first thing he sees upon waking up.
Tenderly, he tilts his head down just a little so that he can press a lingering kiss upon your forehead. You close your eyes and smile, filled with a warmth that will only grow as this night goes on.
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☾ ⋆ ゚like my work? why not : ∘ buy me a coffee? ∘ commission me? ∘ join my taglist ∘ consider following/reblogging
🏷️ @involuntaryspasms @writing-noah @signyvenetia @brideofalucard @noldorinpainter @asianbutnotjapanese @danielle-marie @yourfamilyfriendsatan @firagirl @darlingdoctor @lyn07 @tired-lime @ghostofpolaris @batsyforyou @jofie-does-things
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844 notes · View notes
thoseboysinblue · 5 months
Text
What Nobody Sees
Part 1
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Christian Pulisic x reader
You have unexpectedly found yourself tangled up in a long-term situationship with Christian.
Word count: 4700+
Warnings: Swearing, smut (under 18 DNI)
Song Inspo: Sin So Sweet by Warren Zeiders
Requested: No
Author's note: The original concept for this is based on a dream I had. Once I heard the song, I knew it was an immediate fit. This will be a multi-part series. Thank you, as always to @neverinadream for helping me to flesh this out. Hope you enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated!
September 2023
Why does he always have to be one of the last ones to arrive? You think to yourself as you wait impatiently in your room trying to distract yourself with plans for tomorrow's training session.
Yesterday, you had busied yourself with greeting the other players as they arrived for the September training camp and upcoming international friendlies. Last night you ate dinner with a few of the guys, joining them for a few card games after dinner before trying to get some sleep.
Today seems to be dragging though as you are anticipating Christian's arrival. Even though you know the arrival schedule like the back of your hand, having studied it time and time again, you still find your self glancing between the schedule and your phone as the minutes tick by slower and slower.
A quiet knock at the door, pulls your attention away from your work. You immediately know who it is from the two quick knocks a short pause and two more knocks in succession.
You take a minute to shake yourself free of the smile that has spread on your face and collect your thoughts.
"You couldn't even greet me in the lobby like the rest of the staff," he drawls, pulling you into a hug and burying his face into your neck.
"You weren't supposed to be here for another hour, you could've told me you were getting in earlier," you say, pulling back from him to look him in the eyes.
"My flight got cancelled, so I booked a private, no one told you?" he grins, nudging your nose with his.
"No, no one told me, including you," you say with a bit of an eye roll.
"Maybe I wanted to see you for the first time since June in private, and not with everyone there watching," he smirks at you.
"Yeah, why's that?" you can't help but let the corners of your mouth draw upwards into a faint smile.
"So I could do this," he says, leaning in and closing the distance between your faces as he slides his hand around the back of your head and presses his lips to yours gently.
Butterflies immediately swarm in your stomach. This isn't like him, he's never affectionate like this with you, and he's breaking the unspoken rule the two of you seem to have regarding kissing.
Stop it. Stop it y/n. He just hasn't seen you in a while. He's just horny and this means nothing. It can't mean anything.
You break away from him naturally, both of you sharing a brief smile.
"Well I'm glad you finally made it," you say turning towards your bed as he follows behind you, "the other Italy boys got here yesterday but they said you had to go home first before coming to camp, everything ok?"
Small talk is easy between you and Christian. You were friends before you unexpectedly found yourselves falling into bed with one another every time he was at training camp with the US. Now here you were, this undefined situation you were in having carried on for just over a year. You were his training camp hook up, you assumed he had someone just like you waiting in Florida and probably in Milan by now as well.
You were a convenience, a way to fulfill his needs while he was busting his ass for the national team, and you weren't going to turn down the mind blowing sex you'd been having with him, so it worked out for you as well.
However, he never made you feel like you were just one of many, even though you figured you probably were. The thought of him sleeping with anyone else didn't bother you too much as you'd sworn you wouldn't catch feelings for him because they would definitely be unrequited. He couldn't see you like that. You were you, he was him, he was miles out of your league, except when he was on international duty. Then, for just that brief time, you could pretend a small part of him belonged to you.
"Everything's fine, my sister just wanted to have a belated 1st birthday party for Avery, and I guess an early birthday party for me," he says turning you to face him.
You reach for the hem of his shirt, assuming you know what he's here for until he grabs your wrist.
"That's not why I'm here, I just came by to say hi. I've got to go do some media stuff," he smiles softly at you.
"Already?" You question and he nods, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his hand grazing your jaw, sparking the butterflies again. Those damn butterflies. "Guess that's what happens when you're the star of the show," you chuckle at him.
"I'll text you later, you joining the team for dinner or do you want me to make an excuse to order room service?" he smiles.
"I was actually thinking I might eat in my room tonight," you shrug at him.
"Well then it's settled, we can eat together in my room," his offer catching you off guard.
"Don't you want to catch up with the guys?" you question him a little puzzled.
"I'd rather catch up with you," he leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead.
"Don't do that," you sigh, resting your forehead against his chest.
"Don't do what?" he says settling his hands over your hips.
"The sweet stuff. You and I both know that's not what this is," you mumble against him.
"Ok" he huffs grabbing a handful of your ass.
"That's more like it," you giggle against him.
"I'll see you later," he says, turning and leaving the room, but not before giving you one final glance, his eyes wandering up and down your body, a body he'd gotten to know almost as well as his own over the past year.
Dieci: Meet me in my room in ten. Everyone is downstairs so you shouldn't have to worry about bumping into anyone 😉
Y/N: 👍🏻
Outside of camp, you and Christian rarely texted. You would occasionally like each other's social media posts, maybe reply to a story, but communication was pretty limited other than that.
You hated that seeing his name flash across your screen made your heart skip a beat lately, because he wasn't yours, not really, and you knew this little game would eventually end between the two of you.
Stepping off of the elevator, you glance quickly down the hallway, making sure you don't see anyone milling about, while a large part of the team knows about your little arrangement with Christian, the staff members do not, and you'd prefer to keep it that way.
You knock quietly on his door, your eyes nearly bulging out of your head when he opens the door wearing only a pair of shorts hanging low on his hips.
He notices the way you're looking at him and gives you a little smirk.
"Jesus Christ what are they feeding you in Italy," you drag your eyes shamelessly over his body reaching out to grab his bicep. "You must be hitting the gym hard over there, Christian, you're huge."
Obviously the physical attraction between the two of you is there or you wouldn't be in this situation, you know he loves it when you praise him in any way, so you never hold back on the compliments.
"Christian, you're huge," he mimics your words, "things I always love to hear," he says winking at you.
"I was referring to your arms," you chuckle.
"Mmmhmm, we will see about that in just a little bit," he says grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the bed, noticing the way your thighs clamped shut at his words, a slight blush painting your cheeks in anticipation. "But first, let's order some food," he says flopping down onto the bed and pulling you with him.
You decide what you want to eat and Christian calls and places the order for room service. "No dessert?" you arch an eyebrow at him.
"Nope. I plan on having dessert before dinner. Maybe twice," he chuckles, settling himself between your legs, his face hovering over yours. He runs his nose over the bridge of your nose, desperate to kiss you, but knowing that's not an option.
You turn your face away from him, fighting your own temptation to give in and kiss him the way you want to. Kissing means feelings, and you cannot allow yourself to fall for him, a move that would surely lead to your heart getting broken.
He resigns to trailing sloppy kisses along your neck, a faint moan escaping your lips when he grazes his teeth over your pulse soothing the sting with his tongue.
"I've missed...." he stops himself when your eyes snap to burn into his, your breath hitching in your throat as you are uncertain of what he's about to confess. "Hearing you moan," he finishes, losing the nerve to tell you he has missed you.
The truth is he has missed you, having not seen you since June. He had invited you to Florida while he was home, wanting a chance to spend time with you, away from the prying eyes of the rest of the team. He knew the fact that you had to work the July camp made it impossible but it still stung a bit when you declined his offer.
Everything aside, the two of you never had a conversation about what was going on between you, never made it clear that this was just a hook up and that neither of you were allowed to catch feelings. But he has no idea what you are thinking or where the two of you actually stand.
He slides his hands under your shirt and you sit up enough to allow him to pull it over your head making quick work of taking off your bra as well.
He dips his head to swirl his tongue around your right nipple, his thumb and forefinger rolling the left between them. He licks a stripe between your breasts before pulling your left nipple between his lips.
"Fuck, Christian, I've missed that mouth of yours," you breathe out feeling him smirk against you as he leaves a purple bruise just below your left breast before he kisses his way down your body.
"You've missed this mouth?" he says in a cocky tone tugging at the waistband of your shorts with his teeth, sliding his fingertips under it and waiting for you to lift your hips.
"Yes, I've missed your mouth, but not so much all the talking," you huff as you lift your hips, encouraging him to give you what you really want.
Christian doesn't know it, but you haven't slept with anyone else since you've been sleeping with him, and while you and your vibrator can get the job done, there is no replacement for what he can do to you.
He chuckles as he drags your shorts down your legs, taking your underwear with them, and settling himself between your legs, glancing up to see your eyes burning into his, silently pleading with him.
He presses a kiss to your lower abdomen, then trails his tongue down to your pubic bone, placing another kiss there.
"No, no, no," you whimper, knowing he's planning on teasing you before giving you what you actually want.
"What's the matter, you don't want me to go down on you?" he smirks against your inner thigh, already knowing the answer.
"Yes, I do, please, I don't want you to tease me, it's been nearly two months since I felt your mouth on me, Chris, please, and our food will be here soon, we don't have time," you beg him, knowing it probably won't make a difference, but he has enough power over you to reduce you into a begging mess in a matter of minutes and both of you know it.
"Darlin', you and I both know I can make you cum twice in under ten minutes, we've got plenty of time," he kisses along the inside of your other thigh.
"Your skin is so soft, baby" he nuzzles his face against you before using his tongue to tease your folds apart, carefully avoiding your clit.
"How about instead of teasing me, you see if you can make me cum twice in under 8 minutes," you breathe out, knowing he will have a hard time resisting a challenge.
"I know you say you don't like the teasing, but you actually do like it," he nips at the soft spot just to the side of your entrance pulling a quiet yelp from you, "you're already dripping for me," he barely dips his tongue into you, humming "so sweet," against you.
He glances over at the clock, "eight minutes you said?" You nod, staring him down, "bet you a coffee in the morning I can do it in seven," he winks at you as you buck your hips towards his face when he finally gives in and flicks his tongue over your clit.
"Thank fuck," you groan as your head falls back against the pillows as he chuckles against you before beginning to work you over expertly, more than a year of experience in memorizing your body and how you react to him giving him guidance.
He doesn't even bother with starting slowly, he knows it's not what you need, as he flattens his tongue against you before flicking and sucking at your clit. Glancing up your body he watches as you roll your nipples between your fingers helping yourself along.
"You're so fuckin' hot" he mumbles against you, but continues push you towards the edge. When he's certain you are close, he slides two fingers into you, enjoying the delicious way you clench around them instantly as you let out a gasp.
He curls his fingers against your g-spot pulsing them a couple of times before holding them still and pressing them against your sweet spot while he uses his tongue to bring your high crashing down over you.
He watches as you grip the sheets with one hand, the other moving to rest on top of his head as your back arches off of the bed and his name tumbles out of your mouth as part moan and part sigh.
"Baby, of all the ways I've heard my name fall from that pretty mouth of yours, that might be my favorite," he whispers against you, the softness in his voice sending the butterflies swarming.
You squirm against him when he starts moving his fingers again, not even giving you time to come down from your first orgasm before throttling you towards a second.
"Christian, I can't" you pant out, your head rolling against the pillows when you clamp your eyes shut.
"Y/N, open your eyes and look at me" he says softly, even as he continues his movements, "if you want me to stop, you need to use the safe word, but I know you've got another one for me, I can feel it. If it's too much, say the word, do you want me to stop?"
You shake your head, his voice reassuring you, as you regain your composure. "No, I don't want you to stop, I can handle it." You focus your eyes on his as he changes his position, pulling one leg over his forearm while he kneels on the bed between your legs, the new position causing your hips to tilt upward and his fingers to drive into you at the perfect angle.
"Good girl," he leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead, "my perfect good girl," he mumbles as you nod and clench tightly around his fingers.
He flicks his tongue over your nipple, before using his other hand to press down on your lower belly. "What the fuck," you babble somewhat incoherently, the added pressure making everything feel more intense.
When his thumb circles your clit you feel something that you've never felt before. Your body convulses and writhes beneath him you catch one more glimpse of him, an intent look of satisfaction on his face as he knows he's got you exactly where he wants you. Your vision goes dark as you try to get his attention, "Christian, Chris, Chris, baby," the franticness in your voice snapping his focus to your face.
But it's too late, your second orgasm hits you with a ferocity that neither of you were expecting, the intensity of two orgasms mere minutes apart causing you to squirt for the first time ever. It takes you a moment to come to your senses again and realize what just happened.
Christian is still kneeling between your legs as he gently lowers your leg and withdraws his fingers from you, taking in the scene in front of him as it slowly registers.
Suddenly embarrassed, your cheeks flush and you try to move to get out of the bed realizing you've soaked the sheets and him.
"Um, did you just..." Christian looks himself over, placing a hand on your leg to keep you from getting out of the bed, a little embarrassed himself to be asking that question when it's obvious what just happened.
You nod, unable to look at him or speak to him properly.
"Have you ever done that before?" he slides his hand along your jaw tilting your head up to look at him.
"No, never" you shake your head, "has that ever, um, have you ever," you close your eyes, frustrated that you can't get a fucking sentence out. "Have you ever done that to anyone else?" You sigh, opening your eyes to find him staring at you.
"No, that was a first for me, too," he grins proudly, "and don't be embarrassed, that was literally the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life."
You cover your face with your hands as a laugh escapes your lips, but he pulls your hands out of the way, his face now hovering a few inches from yours.
"And you called me baby, you've never called me that before," he smiles broadly at you.
"Surely, I have" you knit your eyebrows together.
"No, I'd definitely remember that, it's been Christian, Chris, an occasional Cap, Captain, or Pulisic, a slew of curse words, but never baby," he leans down, glancing between your eyes and lips, desperate to kiss you.
As you part your lips, almost allowing yourself to give in to him, a knock at the door interrupts you.
He closes his eyes and clenches his jaw, the look of frustration evident on his features.
"That's probably our dinner" he sighs, leaving a lingering kiss on your cheek and running the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip sending a shiver up your spine.
You both get out of bed, Christian throwing the duvet over the mess you'd made while you grab your clothes. He meets you in the bathroom where you are getting dressed and cleans himself up a little before pulling a shirt over his head.
"Good luck with that," you chuckle, nodding towards the visible tent in his shorts as he blushes and attempts to rearrange himself before opening the door to his room.
You stay out of sight until you hear the person delivering your food leave, emerging from the bathroom to find Christian arranging your food onto the small table in his room, random sports highlights playing on the tv in the background.
He glances up and smiles at you as you make your way over to the table. "You ok?" he asks shyly as you nod.
"This looks nice," you smile at him, pouring each of you a glass of water.
You sit down and begin chatting while you eat, catching up on various things and sharing food back and forth when a clip comes on of his interview from earlier in the day spliced in with some of his recent AC Milan highlights.
His attention turns slightly towards the tv and you notice the flicker of a smile that dances on his lips at the praise he's receiving for his recent form. You nudge him with your knee get his attention, "it's been fun watching you enjoy club football again," you smile softly at him as he nods.
"So you've been watching?" he grins.
"I try to catch as many games as I can for everybody, helps me to know what you are looking like prior to getting here," you shrug.
"No other reason?" he narrows his eyes as you shake your head.
"So if several of us are playing in the same time slot, who are you going to watch?" he arches an eyebrow at you noticing the way you drop your gaze to your plate and blush slightly.
He taps his foot against yours, patiently waiting for an answer. When you glance back up at him and smile at him playfully, "Wes of course" you chuckle.
You let out a squeal as he launches himself at you, scooping you up and tossing you on the clean side of the bed. "We both know that's not true," he smiles down at you, "is it?"
"No, it's not," you breathe out as he grazes a kiss to the underside of your jaw.
"You like watching me play, don't you?" he questions you lowly.
"Yes, I've told you that. I think the way you play is creative and beautiful and I'm really glad I get to see it more regularly now," you speak honestly, "and watching you, it makes me horny," you whisper, threading your fingers into his hair.
He smiles against your neck leaving a trail of kisses there before he once again pulls your shirt over your head.
"So sexy," he mumbles against your chest kissing over the tops of your breasts as you take your bra off and toss it to the floor.
"Tell me," he glances up at you before flicking his tongue over your nipple, "what do you do when you're horny for me and I'm thousands of miles away?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," you chuckle. He sits up between your knees, pulling his shirt over his head, a cocky smile spreading over his lips as he notices the way your eyes drag over his body.
"I would actually," he bites his lip as he pulls your shorts and underwear down your legs, "do you think about me when you fuck yourself, y/n?"
The way you blush and look away from him gives him the answer he's craving.
He sheds himself of the remainder of his clothes, his cock springing free as he wraps his hand around it.
"I'll tell you a secret," he groans as you reach for him, wrapping your hand over the top of his, "I think about you, too" he leans down and whispers into your ear, nipping at your earlobe.
"I'm sure you're other girls won't appreciate that," you tilt your head back allowing him more access to your neck.
He continues trailing his tongue along your neck but his mind is going in a million different directions, the two of you have never discussed whether or not you're sleeping with anyone else, but now it's obvious to him that you think he has others, a twinge of jealousy washing over him at the thought of you having others as well.
You push against his chest and he turns to lay on his back, watching as you move to to straddle him, facing backwards. He grabs your wrist and shakes his head, "I want to see you," he says lowly, his eyes darkening, "I want to watch every inch of you while you take every inch of me."
You nod turning to face him, your hands resting on his chest as he lines himself up with your entrance. He grips onto your hip as you sink down on him.
"Baby," a strangled moan escapes his lips as he throws his head back against the pillows and closes his eyes momentarily.
You sit yourself more upright, enjoying the delightfully painful stretch you've missed since the last time you were with him.
"You good?" you ask as his hands skim along your sides coming up to brush his thumbs across your nipples.
He nods as you roll your hips and begin to slowly bounce over him, allowing both of you time to find a rhythm you enjoy.
You can't deny how much you love seeing him like this, hair disheveled, eyes wild, strings of profanities and praises tumbling from his mouth; the usual quiet and reserved side of him melted away.
"God, y/n, you're squeezing me so tight baby, you feel so fucking good," he squeezes into your hips and holds you steady while he thrusts up into you.
"Yes, Christian, just like that," you moan out, curling your fingertips into his chest. You lean forward slightly, flattening your hand against him, dangerously close to his neck as he bites his lower lip.
He makes eye contact with you, and lifts his chin encouraging you to do what he knows you are thinking about.
You've spent your fair share of nights coming undone with Christian's hands wrapped around your throat, but you've never thought about doing the same to him...until now.
You slide your hand around his throat, squeezing slightly as he smirks at you and you feel him twitch inside of you.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he groans and you can tell he's fighting to hold it off, not wanting to cum before you do.
His head thrashes against the pillows as you squeeze him tighter, your fingers digging into his neck when you lean down to whisper into his ear, "cum for me, baby."
"Shit, shit, shit," he moans as he shudders beneath you, gripping you as his high surges through him.
You slide your hand to his jaw as you collapse onto his chest.
"Fuck me," he sighs kissing the side of your head, "I'm a little scared by how fast that made me cum," he chuckles as you both work to regain your composure.
"Shit, you didn't finish did you?" he groans as you flop on the bed beside him and he turns to face you.
You shake your head, "but you got me off twice earlier, so going up 3-1 seems unfair," you grin at him.
You lean over and kiss him on the cheek, reassuring him that you're perfectly fine. He sighs wishing you'd properly kiss him.
You climb out of the bed and throw one more lingering glance at him before going into the bathroom to clean yourself up and get dressed.
After a few minutes, you head back into the room to find that he's dressed and cleaning up.
"I called downstairs, they are going to bring up some linens when they come to get the cart from dinner," he smiles at you.
You nod and help him place everything back onto the dinner cart before turning your attention to stripping the linens off of his bed, finding yourself getting a little lost in the domesticity of it all.
Once they've brought the clean linens, you help him remake the bed. He flops down on the bed and grabs your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours and giving them a squeeze.
"You're staying aren't you?" his eyes meet yours, pleading with you.
"What? No. I mean, I never stay. You never stay," you stammer, his request catching you a bit off guard.
"Oh, I just thought maybe after last time, you might," he drops his gaze and pulls his hand from yours. The action making your heart ache for him.
"Christian, I can't," you whisper, not quite able to get your voice to work.
He nods as you lean down and kiss him on the cheek, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize," he offers you a weak smile, "I understand," he lies. Truthfully, he doesn't understand, he doesn't understand why you won't kiss him, why you won't stay with him, why after so long of being together in the way that you have been, you won't let him in.
You leave quietly and go back to your room, wishing you had it in you to go back and crawl into bed with him.
You take a shower, trying to clear your head and prepare yourself mentally for the days ahead.
When you climb into bed you notice a notification on your phone:
Dieci: I wish you would've stayed
@chilwellspulisic @neverinadream @masonspulisic @pulisicsgirl @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @nyctophilic0vitnir @lunamelona @tall-tanned-tattoo @lizzypotter14 @bracedes @xjval @notsoattractivearenti @bracedes
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waynes-multiverse · 1 month
Text
Rehab – Epilogue
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Series Summary: Thanks to Soldier Boy, the CIA was able to develop Project Bloom under the fierce leadership of Grace Mallory: a final cure to Compound V and a hopeful end to the supe epidemic three years after the explosive incident at Vought. A secret rehab facility in Upstate New York is supposed to help former heroes find their way back to humanity. The catch, though? Soldier Boy has never fucking agreed to any of this shit and is surely not happy about being powerless for the first time in his goddamn long life.
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female!Reader
Warnings: +18, language, some crack, a bit of fluff and angst, hard decisions, a lot of goodbyes & all the feels
Word Count: 4.5k
A/N: We're here, babes! End of the road! Thank you guys so much for everything. This was a wild ride, and I'm glad I had you in my passenger's seat 💚
Feedback is my fuel 🖤
<< Chapter 8 || Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist
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Epilogue: twin flame
You’re gonna be nowhere The loneliest kind of lonely It may be rough goin’ Just to do your thing’s the hardest thing to do…
“Morning.” Y/N smiles brightly as he stirs and slowly wakes. “Wakey, wakey, sunshine.”
Blue eyes flutter open and fearfully widen, his brow scrunches in confusion as he looks around and scans his environment. He tries to wiggle free of the handcuffs around his wrists, keeping him tied to the metal bed frame.
Not that it matters – he can’t leave either way.
She turns off the radio with a blissful sigh. “You know, that was one of his favorite songs. Your father’s,” she clarifies. “He sang it all the time. It was fucking annoying.”
“Why the hell can’t I move? Get me the fuck out of here,” the man in a sky-blue hospital gown demands and lifts his head off the mattress, only a few inches, attempting to get up.
Needless to say, that attempt is futile and fails miserably.
“Don’t strain yourself, John, or you might shit the bed. And I ain’t cleaning that mess… You’ve been in a coma for three weeks,” Y/N tells him with an amused smile. “Oh, and you can’t move because you’re paralyzed from the waist down. I even doubt that meager dick’s still working.”
His nostrils flare and let out a huff. “It’s Homelander, you bitch. No one calls me by that name.”
“Yeah, not anymore.” Y/N twitches her shoulders in mock apology. Her mouth curves into a Machiavellian grin. “Scared yet?”
“Where the fuck am I?” he growls through gritted teeth, upset by her blatant disrespect.
“You’re at a rehab facility for former supes. I mean, it’s discontinued. Abandoned, really. It’s just you and me,” she replies flatly and then forces a customer-service smile to her lips. “So, guess I’ll be your nurse for the day. How are we doing, you–”
Her brow furrows as she tries to remember the exact words, pensively pursing her lips.
“Wait…” She holds up a finger to stop him from interrupting her as she fishes out a crumpled piece of paper from her jeans pocket. She squints her eyes in concentration as she skims over its content.
“Ah yes!” With a smile, she clears her throat and reads from her paper. “So, how are you doing, you bootlicking… carpet-munching… cockboy?”
Homelander frowns at the insults. Y/N does too, but for a different reason as she shakes her head.
“Jesus fucking Christ, your dad’s handwriting is an atrocity,” she mutters as she tilts her head with narrowed eyes at the paper in her hands.
The blond man’s eyes narrow in both shock and confusion. “How do you know my father?”
“Oh, uhm, I’m his wife,” Y/N says and smiles complacently. “Which technically makes me your step-mommy, but let’s not go there, you–… Wait.” She peeks once more at the paper in her hands. “You cumguzzling… cowfucking… cuck fluffer.” Her brow draws up, impressed. “Huh, nice. Little alliteration going on there. Guess all those books paid off…”
“Can we skip to the part where you tell me what the fuck you’re doing here?” Homelander snaps impatiently, annoyed with the shenanigans.
“Alright, your dad sent me here to, you know… gloat,” Y/N says simply and shrugs, flashing him an easy smile. “He wanted you to know that he’s the one that put you into this damn bed. Funnily enough, he once woke up in this very room, tied to a bed. Not in a kinky way, though. Although, he probably would’ve loved that…” She chuckles fondly. “This place really changed him, but I doubt it’ll do the same for you.”
“And why the fuck isn’t he here telling me this, huh?” John asks with a challenging look. “I didn’t reckon him for a fucking coward.”
Y/N’s facade cracks a little at his words, a vicious smile tugging at her lips. “Oh, he was not a coward. He was the bravest man I’ve ever known. He was and is a fucking hero and surely getting celebrated as one.”
Y/N leans back in her chair and grabs the remote from the bedside table, switching on the TV. A news report flickers across the screen. It’s a recording from a few weeks ago, but Homelander doesn’t know that. It shows a row of celebratory parades held all over the country. A statue of Soldier Boy is being erected next to the Statue of Liberty.
Homelander finally defeated. Soldier Boy dies a hero in fierce combat. America breathes a sigh of relief.
Homelander watches the news and reads the taglines as they scroll in front of his eyes. His mouth is agape in bewilderment before Y/N switches the television off again.
“Everyone loves him… and fucking hates you. Like spit-on-your-grave hate,” she summarizes and watches his face darken. She rises from her seat and smiles down at him. “Have a nice life chained to that bed till you rot to death, you dickfaced, inbred, garbage-eating fascist.”
With a wide smirk, she then leans down and whispers into his ear, “Those were my insults, by the way.”
“Well, he’s dead, and I’m fucking alive, which means I won,” Homelander snarls from the bed with a contrivedly triumphant sneer, rattling with his handcuffs. He’s close to an explosion, she can tell.
“Yeah, you’d be telling yourself that if it makes you feel better…”
With a roll of her eyes, Y/N turns her back. As she marches out of the room, Homelander’s furious screams of agony haunt the clinic’s empty hallways, but there is no one here to hear them anymore.
Project Bloom has been disbanded. There’s only a handful of CIA nurses left, tasked to take care of Homelander until his hopefully slow and painful death. If someone decides to hold a pillow over his head at any point, she supposes she wouldn’t be that mad about it either.
Homelander is history. Soldier Boy is dead. And Ben is at rest.
Finally, Y/N can leave this godforsaken place behind her.
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Y/N slides into the driver’s seat of her Prius, her head falling back as she exhales a long, exhaustive breath and rubs her temples. That damn brat gave her a fucking migraine with his whiny bitching.
“Finally,” it huffs from the backseat. “Took you long enough. How the fuck did it go?”
Y/N blinks into the rearview mirror and catches a set of expectant green eyes. Her hand drops from her temples as she chuckles.
“Your handwriting is horrible,” she says as a response and pulls out the paper, pointing at a word. “What the hell is that one?”
Ben leans forward between the seats and squints his eyes. “Mmh, pube flosser,” he supplies and frowns. “You didn’t use that one?”
Y/N sighs. “I think he’s got the gist without it.”
“Yeah, but that was a good one,” Ben mumbles and sighs disappointedly. “Did you play him the song?”
“Yes, I did. I played him the song and did everything else you wanted me to do,” she confirms patiently. “You know, you’ve got a weird knack for torture.”
“Thank you. It’s a gift.” Ben blushes and adjusts his baseball cap. “Did you sell it properly? You know, acting is a skill. The most important thing is to–”
“Ben! For the love of God, shut up or I’ll run you over with my car,” Y/N snaps. If he gives her one more acting lesson, she swears she’ll turn herself a widow.
“Fine.” Ben scoffs and rolls his eyes back. “Did he fucking buy it?”
“Yup, he surely thinks you’re dead. Like the rest of the world,” Y/N says and shoots him a smile over her shoulder.
He matches it and scratches his shaved chin, letting himself fall back into the seat. “Good. So, we’re done, right?”
“Yeah, he was the last stop on our list,” she replies quietly, her smile mixing with sadness. “How’s the arm?”
“Good, good…” He nods, his head bobbing thoughtfully as he clutches the scar on his right bicep. “Healing nicely. Finally got a real war wound. Always wanted one.”
“Okay, then… Let’s go, I guess.” With a heavy swallow, Y/N turns the ignition and starts the car.
“You know, I’d really love to kiss you now,” Ben notes, heartache swinging in his voice, and finds her eyes in the rearview mirror.
Y/N bites down on her lip and nods. “Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice…”
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Three weeks ago…
A guard gestures down the hallway to the restrooms, but as soon as Y/N rounds the corner and is out of sight, she takes a turn in the opposite direction.
The good thing about a super secret government facility that’s not supposed to exist is that it only comes with the necessary manpower. There’s no abundance of guards at every corner. It’s quiet and desolate.
Moreover, no one expects a silly and weak human to cause any trouble. It surely has its advantages to be constantly underestimated.
Y/N finds the lab she’s passed on their way in, where she spied a glass fridge with vials of different colors. It’s guarded, but only by one person. It’s sloppy, honestly.
A flirty ambush, a stab to the neck with a dull pocket knife, a stolen keycard, and she’s inside. She drags the body in, too, leaving no trace of her crime behind.
Her fingers rummage through differently labeled flasks. There’s plenty of blue and yellow, but not the poisonous green she’s looking for.
“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…” she mutters to herself as she desperately searches every drawer, every goddamn cabinet of the laboratory.
Out of breath, she stops and grips her temples, shoulders slumping as her mind spins. She wants to curse and scream, but that would draw too much attention. She knows she’s running out of time. No one takes that long to fucking pee. Decisions have to be made quickly.
She grabs a blue vial.
Rolling down her sleeves, she walks nervously back into the control room. Neither Mallory nor Edgar pays her any mind. Everyone’s eyes are glued to Soldier Boy and Homelander. Father and son. It’s biblical.
It’s as if she isn’t even there.
Her veins twitch, her blood boils. It’s tingling in her fingertips.
“Little help would be fucking appreciated!” Ben yells as he wrangles with a defunct Homelander.
Stan Edgar’s smile. So vicious. So cold. So calculating.
She knows the air in the room is about to shift. Her hands ball into fists by her side, gather their energy.
He gives his command. She screams.
“No! That wasn’t the fucking deal!”
Edgar doesn’t even look at her fully. A sideways glance is all she’s worth. “Take her out, too.”
Mallory sees it first, her eyes widening when she realizes what’s going on. It’s too late to warn anyone, however, her cries for help unheard as the acid rots her throat.
Edgar and two guards are next, metal weapons melt and mix with a puddle of human soup on the ground. Then, she goes after the one that got away.
The third guard hurries inside the prison cell, but Y/N slips through the crack of the door before it slams shut. The first gunshot goes clean through Homelander’s spine, but the second is deterred and only strikes Ben’s arm as the guard bubbles to a pond, a hot spring in the concrete.
Ben clutches his bleeding wound with a hiss before his green eyes lock with hers. They widen, and it takes him a moment to make sense of it all.
“Y/N, what–”
He takes a step forward. She takes a step back.
“Don’t come near me,” she orders him with panic blinking in her eyes like a flashing alarm. Her chest rises and falls with every anxious breath.
He holds his palms up high, surrendering. “It’s okay.”
Ben carefully walks around her and steps over the bubbling human puddle on the floor. He peeks outside the door, purses his lips, and nods in impressed satisfaction.
“Those little blobs outside–”
Y/N bobs her head at his unfinished question. “Mallory and Edgar plus two guards,” she replies.
“Nice job.” He whistles lowly and shoots her a devilish grin, taking a step closer. “Gotta say, I’ve never been more turned on by you. I’m getting fucking hard.”
“Ben!” Y/N scolds and backs away from him until she’s pressed against the wall. “I told you, don’t touch me,” she warns him again.
Ben’s smile fades as he recognizes her fear. His features soften, the jokes disappear. “Hey, it’s alright. Twenty-four hours and you’ll be fine again. Just gotta get through it.”
Y/N shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. Ben’s brow knits in confusion, his face stern.
“What-… Why are you shaking your head?”
A tear escapes and streaks her cheek. “It won’t go away in twenty-four hours,” she chokes out. “They were out of Temp V.”
Ben’s face drops at the realization. “No, no, no… Tell me you didn’t fucking do this!” he yells.
“They were going to kill you! What was I supposed to do?” Y/N explains tearfully.
“Die, Y/N! You were supposed to let me fucking die!” Ben’s jaw tightens as anger surges through his body.
“I didn’t let you die the first time! What made you think I would let you fucking die right now, huh?” Y/N cries through gritted teeth, her hands balling into fists. “Stop trying to kill yourself. You fucking promised me!”
Licking his lips, Ben swallows. He’s quiet, running a palm over his face while his mind races a mile a minute. “Okay… alright,” he says finally, his voice significantly calmer now. “Where did you get the Compound V from?”
“There’s a lab here,” she replies in the same calm manner.
“They got more?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” Ben nods and finds her eyes. “Show me.”
Y/N presses her lips into a thin line, shaking her head once more. “No.”
His anger returns, nostrils flaring as his brow creases. “What d’you mean no?”
She swallows thickly. “Look, if you really wanna do this, then I won’t stop you,” she says, a pleading glimmer haunting her eyes. “But you finally got a chance. You can live the normal, boring life. You can go on road trips, see Mount Rushmore… I know you want to.”
Ben swipes his tongue over his teeth and averts his gaze. He pinches the bridge of his freckled nose, and Y/N can see that she’s right.
“I’m not even sure if I want powers,” she continues after a pause. “But at least this time it was my choice. And I don’t regret it if it means I got to save you, okay?”
When Ben finally looks at her, it breaks her heart. “I don’t wanna be alone.”
Y/N gives him a sad smile. “I know… And you won’t be. I promise.”
Their attention is then temporarily drawn to a groan on the ground. Y/N’s brow furrows as she looks at Homelander’s body and notices his fingers twitching.
“Is he still alive?”
“Looks like it,” Ben replies. But as Y/N gets ready to take care of the problem, he stops her, holding out his flat palm. “Wait, wait, wait… Judging by the wound, he’s gonna be a fucking vegetable. It’s a waste of a kill.” He then grins mischievously at her. “I’ve got a better fucking idea. The other question is: how the fuck do we get outta this place… alive?”
Y/N’s mouth opens, but she doesn’t have an answer aside from a helpless shrug for him. This is as far as she has planned. Actually, she hasn’t planned any of this at all.
“I might be able to help with that,” a woman’s voice sounds behind her.
Y/N’s eyes widen as she recognizes the newcomer, her mouth parting anew in both surprise and shock. Ben, on the other hand, furrows his brow and glares at the stranger as if she had just spoken Russian.
“Who the fuck are you?” Ben prompts and then leans closer to Y/N, whispering in her ear, “Kill her.”
Y/N frowns, but her eyes are glued to the young woman in front of her, the familiarity sinking in. “I can’t,” she grits through her teeth.
“Why the fuck not?” Ben asks now loud enough for everyone to hear, including their guest.
“Because I’m the president,” the woman replies, smiling complacently. “And an old friend.”
Ben’s brow creases even more. “President of what? Cunt-town?”
“The United States, Ben,” Y/N tells him flatly. If she could kick his leg right now, she would. Leave it to her husband to get them both killed.
“Wait, a skirt is president?” Ben arches an eyebrow and mutters, “No wonder this country’s going to shit…”
“Charming,” Victoria Neuman says with a small sigh, but seemingly unbothered by the old-school views. Much like Y/N, she ignores the comment and doesn’t take offense to it. “I can see why you married him,” she adds wryly, looking at Y/N.
“Technically, she wasn’t elected. She was Vice President till President Singer died… accidentally,” Y/N explains, knowing Ben only reads the paper for the sports section and the comic strip. She swallows the thick lump in her throat, her heart thrashing wildly in her chest.
“Ah, I know what that’s code for.” Ben smirks coolly. “Bold move. I can fucking respect that.”
“Yeah, God knows some old fuck’s approval is what I’m looking for,” Neuman taunts, the sarcasm dripping from her red-painted lips.
Ben’s face drops as a bit of anger bubbles up inside of him. That bitch is lucky he’s V-free. He forces a tight-lipped smile. “I’m just saying I would’ve done the same thing, okay?”
“No offense, but you’re too much of a moron for that,” Neuman replies dryly.
Ben’s nostrils flare as he grits, “Offense fucking taken.”
“Okay!” Y/N tries to cut the tension with a nervous chuckle, pushing herself between Neuman and Ben. “How about you just tell us what we have to do to get out of this one?”
“See? She’s smart,” Neuman says and smirks at Ben. “I’ve always liked you, Y/N. You know, when Stan and Grace told me their plan of getting you two involved, I warned them. But they just wouldn’t listen. Everyone always underestimates the orphan. I should know, and so do you. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”
“Yeah, guess we’re MVP, after all, Nadia,” Y/N says and makes it a point to emphasize her real name.
Victoria just smiles in response. “So, since you took care of two problems for me, one in here and one out there, I have a proposal for you.”
“What is it?” Y/N knows she’s really out of choices. Either she agrees, or Ben and her will spend the afterlife together.
“I need a new Chief of Staff. I want you to do it. You’re smart, driven, and I know you wanna change shit around here. You wanna make a difference? This is your chance,” Neuman proposes. “You can’t take the cure again. It’s going to kill you. Trust me, we’ve done studies, and the results are not pretty.”
Y/N thinks for a few breaths. “What about Ben?”
“I guess he can live. It’s not like he’s a threat to anyone,” Neuman says and almost sounds bored. “Hell, for all I care, we can even make Soldier Boy a reformed hero for dealing with Homelander. He dies heroically in battle and quietly lives out his retirement in fucking Florida or some shit. We get him a big fucking statue. It’s good publicity.”
Y/N shares a look with Ben. “What d’you think?”
Thoughtfully, Ben clicks his tongue. He supposes it’s the best deal they can get, and declining it would probably get them nowhere, although he hates everything about it.
Swallowing, the former supe nods. “Alright, let’s fucking do this,” he agrees and states his conditions, “But for the record, I’m not moving to shit-ass Florida. I want a nice lake house in Minnesota.”
Victoria rolls her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Minnesota it is.”
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“You okay? You ready?” Y/N checks as Ben has made it up the stone steps and halts in front of the big, red door.
“I don’t know. You really think this is a good idea? I’m not sure I can do this,” Ben says and insecurely eyes the entrance.
“You’ll do great, alright?” Y/N smiles encouragingly. “I believe in you.”
“I don’t wanna do this alone. What if I fuck up?” Ben asks.
Amused, Y/N chuckles. “Oh, you’re for sure gonna fuck up.”
The green-eyed man scowls. “That’s fucking reassuring. Thanks.”
“Look, this way you won’t be alone. I’ll wire you money every month and check in as much as I can, alright? You can always call me. This isn’t the end,” Y/N soothes his worries. “Maybe one day there’s a cure that’ll work, and we can be together again for real.”
She forces a weak smile to her lips, although she doesn’t believe her own words. But as long as Ben believes them, it’s enough.
“Okay.” Ben nods and takes a deep breath – in through his nose and out through his mouth. “I think I’m ready now.”
“Good.” Y/N sends him a smile. “You thought of a new name yet?”
“I’m still marinating on it,” Ben grumbles.
“Well, marinate faster. I have to introduce you.”
As they enter the orphanage, Y/N checks them in at the reception and fills out all necessary forms. Ben taps his foot nervously and scratches the back of his neck as they wait before one of Y/N’s former colleagues walks in with a little boy in hand, who’s no older than five.
Ben tries to smile but isn’t sure if it looks creepy, so he stops and opts for a more neutral expression. Y/N, however, immediately kneels down to the young boy and smiles brightly at him. It causes Ben’s heart to ache. She deserved to have all of this, but instead, she gave it all up for him.
“Hey, Benny,” she greets the boy. “You ready to meet your new adoptive parent?”
The boy scrunches his brow in careful suspicion as he eyes his future father-to-be. “I guess so,” he says. “Is that him? He looks like he drives a fucking minivan and offers candy to kids. Are you sure he’s not a pedo, Ms. Y/N?”
Ben purses his lips, biting the insides of his cheeks. The initial smile was definitely a mistake. They’re not off to a good start.
Y/N presses her lips together to muffle her snort. “Yes, Benny, I’m sure,” she replies patiently. “He’s cool, trust me.”
“Fine, whatever.” The kid rolls his eyes. “As long as he’s not fucking vegan like Ms. Teresa. They’re the worst.”
“Ugh, agreed! Do I look like a fucking plant-shitter to you?” Ben asks the boy rhetorically.
“No, you look like a fucking pedo to me,” the boy retorts.
Ben grins broadly at Y/N. “I like the kid. I think I get what you mean now. I see the resemblance.”
“Well, great. Glad you two are hitting it off… I think,” Y/N says with a crinkled brow, although a part of her is doubting her idea. Honestly, it’s wild she’s trusting him with a child. A year ago she would’ve thought that it was insane. “Alright, uh, Benny, this is, uhm–”
“Sam,” Ben proudly introduces himself with his fake name and shakes the kid’s hand. He then notices Y/N’s strange look. “What?”
“Nothing, just… you don’t really strike me as a Sam. That’s all,” she tells him in a whisper-tone, shrugging.
“Oh, really? Well, I don’t give a fuck. I love it,” Ben quips, grinning rather smugly.
“Fine.” Y/N sighs. She turns back to little Ben with a smile. “You guys ready to hit the road?”
“Where are we going?” Benny asks curiously and promptly takes Ben’s hand, dragging the older man through the doors. He’s been waiting to get out of the orphanage for a while, the excitement of finally being able to leave visible in every step he takes.
It’s a fresh start for both of them.
“Uh, Mount Rushmore,” Ben answers.
“Cool! Can we get burgers on the way there? I’m starving.”
“Sure can, kid.”
Y/N can see Ben’s initial hesitance until he eventually accepts it and eases into the situation, holding the boy’s hand tightly. He helps the kid into the car, even puts the seatbelt on, and shuts the door behind him.
Her heart twinges as she watches the two, wishing she could go with them if things were different. However, she knows the risk is too big. She would never forgive herself if she hurt either of them. She doesn’t trust herself enough yet. Maybe someday she can.
“You okay?” Ben asks as he sees the unshed tears brimming in her eyes. He’d dreaded this day for the past few weeks, hoping she’d still change her mind. He hates that this is goodbye, but he supposes he has to set her free now.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Y/N says with a forced smile, but a tear escapes and rolls down her cheek.
“C’mere.”
Y/N protests as Ben slings his arms around her and pulls her flush against him, holding her tightly. He hasn’t touched her since that night, but he doesn’t care anymore. He presses his lips against hers and tastes her one last time.
Breathlessly, Y/N withdraws and sniffles. “Are you fucking insane? I could kill you.”
Ben simply smiles at her. “Hey, if I die kissing you, then that’s a fucking great way to go out. ‘Sides, insanity is contagious,” he quips and sends her a wink. “Thank you… for everything, you know?”
“You’re welcome,” she says quietly and swallows harshly as the tears fall freely now. Not every film has a happy ending. “I guess I’ve done my job as your sponsor. You’ve been successfully rehabilitated.”
Ben snorts. “If by that you mean I’m fucking boring and responsible now then yeah, you’ve done your job.”
“You won’t be bored for long. The kid’s already trying to hotwire the car,” Y/N tells him, laughing.
“Wha–” Ben spins around and points a warning finger at the boy. “Ay! Hands in your fucking lap!”
The kid raises his palms in surrender and yells, “Hurry the fuck up!”
With a shaking head, Ben turns back to her. “Gotta watch that kid like an eagle,” he mutters. He exhales a dreaded breath and licks his lips. “So, I guess this is goodbye, huh?”
Y/N smiles softly, the corners of her mouth reaching her dimples. “Maybe.”
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Little Ben gets me every time 😂 Alright, now you may yell and complain, but I love this bittersweet ending 🥲 (But of course, you're welcome to send in requests. Whether it's deleted scenes, bonus shots of a potential future, or some fun Big Ben/Little Ben drabbles)
Thank you so much for reading, for your gifs and comments! It's so appreciated! Without them, this would only be half the fun 🤍
I'll announce future plans soon. The final five of Plastic Hearts will probably be next up. Get ready 'cause it's another wild one! 🌟
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novthewolf · 9 months
Text
Two’s company, three’s a family - Part two
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Summary : As a cupid, an angel of love, your mission was to make sure everyone was paired up with the right person. Yet you couldn’t get your two most ancient clients to finally end up together. And despite the 6,000 years spent on the case, you couldn’t bring yourself to give them up, oblivious to the actual reason...
Pairing : Aziraphale x Crowley / GN!Reader x Crowley / GN!Reader x Aziraphale (polyamorous relationship).
Parts : Previous - Next
Masterlist : Here
Warnings : Language, mid-violence, near death, slight angst, slow burn, english isn’t my first language.
Words : +3k
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(5 years later)
"Alright, Eden, this is how it's going to be : I'm going to help our dear friend with his little inconvenience while you stay here and eat every bit of grass you want. Okay ?" You said, deadpan.
And the only response from your white Dexter mini cow was a simple nudge against your palm. Aw, how could you resist her when she just looked at you with such cute eyes ? You just couldn't ! That's why you brought her with you in the first place.
"Perfect." You nodded firmly before bending down to kiss your forehead. You started to retreat. The sensation of tall grass touching your shinbone You loved it. Every sensation this world had to offer amazed you and urged you to experience everything. But right now is not the time !
"I'll be right back, sweetie ! Don't wonder off too far !" And you took off towards the meeting location.
Love angels are quite particular creatures with special abilities. As they say, love makes you blind, and even though you couldn't prove that statement, you knew that love allowed you to be blind in other people's eyes. You were capable of becoming invisible. Not all the time, but you could manage to stay this way for a few days if really necessary. You had a lot of free time.
This power was mostly there to permit you to supervise dates, gather information on your clients, and occasionally spy on a demon's secret meeting. If anyone asks, you never do that.
But lately, demons have been more and more pushy with Crowley's results, summoning him to Hell for his report. However, some lower-class demon got brave enough to come up on earth and confront him. They were jealous of the redhead; you smelled the salty taste, similar to burnt meat. And despite how stupid they sounded, they were really starting to cause trouble by sensing Aziraphale's presence and also influencing Warlock.
Thus, you decided to go help the duo by playing bait. Certainly those demons' boss would be thrilled to know they successfully scared off a love angel. Right now, you slowly flew towards the meeting point, watching closely for any aggressive behaviour. Crowley had called them to "calmly" persuade them to leave, as they were starting to draw too much attention.
It wasn't really the case ; Warlock's parents were incredibly lax. But you could always trick most of the supernatural beings since they don't spend as much time on Earth as you three. You gently leaned on a nearby tree, your expression fixed as you followed their movements.
"Go back to Hell ? So you can receive all the credit to yourself ! Don't count on it, Crawley !" The smaller one snarled vehemently.
"It's Crowley, and I really never meant to take your place in a mission you are so obviously deserving of." And he seemed to actually appreciate that; they weren't great at sarcasm either.
"What the.. urgh.. angels ? Have you had any trouble with one of 'them 'em sneaking around ?" The taller one almost gagged when he mentioned them. You knew that one, actually. You leaned in a bit more on your branch, Crowley glancing quizzically in your direction (he probably heard you), and you recognised the guy's features.
Yeah, greasy yellow-ish hair ; his right cheek was necrotic; his hideous teeth were poking out. You were just so glad Crowley had clean teeth; you honestly thank God every day for it. You've met him before during a lot of your missions; he's always there to fricking ruin every one of them. God, sorry, he was so annoying... But you loved tormenting him back. But he was getting really obtrusive in your monthly life, so today you would do your best to put them in a lot of trouble. And set his friend along; you wouldn't want him to feel lonely; you were not that mean.
"Angels ? Naaah, they are way too uptight and skittish to properly go against our forces... Why ? Have you been struggling ?" He was holding back his mockery. Which was a real struggle for him.
"Just that little wuss of an angel. They keep missing me, never brave enough to truly face me. Just waiting for the right moment to get at 'em." he growled. Oh, how strong-willed he sounded, considering he always gave up mid-chase. You looked over Crowley for a second and got almost startled at how dour his face was. You bit your lip and focused back on Bobby (not that it wasn't his name; you just didn't care enough to call him something else).
"Oooh, I'm sure you'll find the right moment to strike once you muster enough courage to step out of your mud puddle." He briefly laughed, sardonic as always.
Heh, the way some demons made their entrance was so flattering. Now, thanks to his taunting, the two have started to get aggressive. I guess that's my cue to go.
"What the fuck did you just say?" The greasy boy said it directly to Crowley.
"Oh, I think you exactly understood what I meant." Obviously, he wouldn't back down ; you didn't expect anything else from him.
Calling off the spell, you stood up. Your legs were wobbly, and you tried to stabilise yourself. And leaned casually against the trunk.
"Well, what do we have here ? Hiding away from the city, I see. Why ? Was I too intimidating for you ?" you bugged. You saw his sludge vest boil, his face scrunching, and his awful teeth showing. His little friend growled behind him, ready to launch right at you. How sweet. Crowley's eyes widened. He leaned back, arms crossed in front of his chest, observing what was going to happen next.
"You... I should wring your neck !" He was an impulsive little thing, so he wasted no time and jumped on you.
You dodged him, if you can call it that : you took off your branch and let him knock his head against it. The second came running in your direction; you decided to let gravity do its thing by letting yourself fall and firmly stepping on his bald head. Wow, I almost slipped there.
You jumped off and landed on the ground. You looked up at Crowley and mouthed to him "Eden". You didn't have the heart to leave her here by herself now that you were going to have a little fun. He rolled his eyes, sighed, but nodded anyway. You knew he had a soft spot for her. You smiled brightly and ran off.
"Don't let her near the Anti-Christ !" the shortest one bawled at Crowley, getting back up.
You halted for a second, quickly building up a plan B.
"Anti-Christ ? Is that so ?" You said, teasingly. You had to turn around, bending yourself into a position that conveyed every bit of smugness you could manage. Crowley's lips twitched upright.
"You idiots !" He snarled.
"Get 'em !" Bobby roared as best as his croaking voice could.
You burst into brief laughter before finally dashing off the scene. If your plan failed, you had a backup. You really liked running, but you couldn't let yourself drown in the feeling.
The smaller one sent an electric shock your way. You leaped up, flew for a brief moment, did a half-loop, and landed back down.
"Hey ! Don't get too flashy now ! You wouldn't want to be seen making an ass of yourself !" You mocked.
"Shut the fuck up !"
Rude...
The town wasn't that far away, and you wanted to get to a more populated area as soon as possible. Because, you know, your weapons weren't lethal, so we depended on your miracles. You were used to the human environment and what they would perceive as coincidences, odd occurrences, and full-on magic. They weren't, and you believed they weren't that dumb to expose themselves too much or hurt anybody.
Bobby had summoned a huge pit right in front of your feet. Luckily for you—not much for them—you had explored everything your human body could do, including physical effort. You grounded your feet, flexed your slightly trained legs, and leaped over the trap.
You took a sharp turn, arriving in some kind of small square, and climbed up the metal fence, winning some time. Now that people could see you, you started running, but no one was in sight. Ugh. Ooh, expect those two wild geese, plainly walking around. You smiled, determined. You materialised your bow and visualised their bound. Mmh ! Better than you expected. You could give it multiple forms; get utterly creative. This time it looked like a mini-crossbow for stealth. You put your weapon on your forearm, aimed for their chest, and let go. The geese quacked, chocked by the sudden rush of emotions. Bound complete.
You skipped past them like an antelope, nearing the entrance of the park, leading into town. More people wondered in the street, and some intended to enter the square. Worry squeezed your chest ; your breathing was itching. Please don't hurt them.
They didn't bother slowing down, recklessly running in your direction. Your brows frowned, irrated by their stupor. Mud Pie ignored the cuddling geese and violently pushed a man's shoulder with his.
"Hey ! What in the bloody hell is wrong with you, man ?" The man yelled after him, holding his arm in pain.
You took a step back. No holding back. Two were too much of a handful right now; you had to get rid of one of them.
You took two steps back. So, unwillingly, you miraculously shoved one of the geese onto the second guy. Panicked and certainly repulsed by his slimy appearance, the poor thing started to attack the pariste with all its might. Without a second thought, the mate started chasing as well. The demon desperately tried to shove the two off, but so satisfyingly failed.
You didn't have time to further appreciate the show, as your dear friend didn't even glance in his companion's direction. He was like a bulldozer, ready to wipe you off the map. You took a step back and collided with an old woman.
"Oh, I am so sorry, madam ! I really apologise !"
"No worries, dear, but why are you in such a hurry ?"
The road was right here, and you saw a car coming your way. Go across and let the car hit him. Let's go.
"Mh... Life's too short ! You must enjoy it," you said, sending a happy memory orb her way. No time to waste !
You ran as fast as was naturally possible to the other side. You looked over to the other side. Everything was blurry. Great. He was coming. The car ? Not fast enough.
The black car seemed to accelerate at the last crossroad and was steering incredibly fast. Come on, come on ! Knock him out.
He was crossing the road ! ... But you gasped in terror when you saw him pulling the grandma with him. He had pushed her as well, in front of him.
His eyes snapped at the car and morphed into those of a deer caught in headlights.
He walked forward, taking the woman with him in the process. They both fell to the ground abruptly.
The car brutally stopped.
"Miss !" you cried, fright gnawing at your insides. You dropped to your knees and shoved the mud boy away from her, checking for bruises. Broken wrist. You winced and very discretely healed it. You scanned your surroundings and almost felt your ears peek up in interest.
The Bentley.
Crowley.
"Sorry, Madam, for the incident. I hadn't expected to so suddenly cross the road," he said, his glasses hiding the not-so-guilty expression. "You were lucky this man was here to save you". The smirk he wore was devilish; he barely hid his nature, and you were honestly surprised no one had found out his true nature yet. It was so obvious.
A crowd had formed around you, people helping the poor granny and the cunt up. Crowley approached, trying his best to correct his walk.
Oh, that's right ! Where did he go ?" A bystander wondered, searching for the mysterious, dirty man.
"Maybe he's shy and couldn't appreciate all the praise he would receive for saving a person's life." You smiled in your own charming way to dispel all suspicions. Still, the secret meaning behind it made Crowley scoff.
"Will you be alright, ma'am ?" you asked.
"Oh, don't worry, dear. It's always good to know that my heart can still go through so many emotions and still be up and running." Her lighthearted laugh brought a small, tender smile to your face. You parted ways and went to Crowley.
"C'mon, sweetheart, I'll give you a lift home," he said, looking away. He seemed upset, so you tried to humour him.
"Really ?! Can I drive ?" You beamed at him, your eyes eager to receive a refusal.
"Never. Again." His teeth were grinding so much that you wondered if they would break. You pouted but didn't insist. Suddenly, you remembered your little companion.
"Eden ! Oh, my poor girl ! Where is she ?" "You grabbed the demon's arm. You were actually much more tactile than Aziraphale and him, but they got accustomed to it.
He stopped, looked back, and rolled his eyes.
"Don't worry, I put her in the trunk of the car." He nonchalantly explained as he sat down.
Wait... W-Where...
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You absolutely didn't want to live with your poor baby in a small, cramped place, so Crowley accepted to go back near the dear little Anti-Christ place to check on your mini cow and pick up Aziraphale. You quickly got rid of your seatbelt and raced out.
When you opened the trunk, you sighed when you heard Crowley complaining about your "brutality.".
Mh, at least I'm not a barbarian who stuffed a baby cow into the back of a car.
You stopped mid-thought when you saw what the interior really looked like. Crowley had manipulated the space inside and made it wide enough for Eden to fit in nicely. It looked like a small meadow, too.
"Aww, Crowley !" you squealed in his direction as he was pretending not to see you.
"Ooh, my dear baby Eden ! Are you okay ? Are you good ?" You reached out and pulled her out. She rubbed her head against your belly and mooed lovingly. You kissed her forehead.
"Ooh, you really took good care of you, huh ? " You quickly glanced at him and saw him tensing up. He knew what you were going to say, and you smirked, delighted. "Yeah, you're right, he really likes you ! I totally agree. What a nice guy he is indeed."
"Don't you call me that !" he exclaimed, literally fuming.
"Shh, don't scream this way at her!" you lightly scolded.
"Oh, like hell, I'm going to let you insinuate things like that," he groaned. So easy.
You started to jump around, going down slowly like a feather. Eden happily did the same.
"I'm solely stating facts! You are a good demon—ah!" you screamed, surprised when he started to try to catch you.
"Come down here, you little minx !" He snarled, frustrated at your agility.
You stooped your tongue out, Eden still running around cheerful as always.
"What are you two doing ?" A familiar voice asked, deeply confused and surprisingly joyful at the same time.
"Aziraphale ! Hi !" you waved as your feet connected to the ground again.
Crowley was right behind you, hands twitching and mumbling complaints mixed with threats. Even if you knew that the angel had already seen the upset and irrated side of Crowley, you still needed to point out his good deeds!
Every opportunity mattered!
"Is everything alright ?" No time to worry ; you've got to praise!
"Yes, yes, of course ! It's just that Crowley doesn't want to admit how nice he's been today." You got behind the raging demon and gently shoved him towards Aziraphale.
"Oh, really, Crowley ? How come ?" He teased and smiled almost slyly.
You slowly backed off, letting the two interact in peace.
"Argh, it was nothin'. Just some demon who tried to jeopardise the mission, and Y/N over there immediately jumped in and lurked them away." He looked at you while saying it. You smiled with tight lips before I tilted my head for him to continue.
"And, urgh, well, I followed them and helped get rid of the nuisance." It almost burned his tongue.
"Aaand, you made Eden a comfy little space in the back of the Bentley!" you said, in the most jovial tone, making him growl.
"Aww, Crowley ! So do you have a soft spot for her, uh ?" He looked so touched. He was so adorable, you couldn't help but smile. Crowley looked bashful for a second before turning away.
"Oh, shut up. I only did it because I know what an awful thing you two feed her, so I just thought she deserved a little treat." He calmly taunted.
Awful things ?! Wait up a minute, mister !
Aziraphale regularly accepted keeping Eden with him when you had to work for a long time. He even arranged a room for her; he was very fond of her. And the food you gave her was the most healthy grass and hay you could find. Aziraphale was the one who helped you pick up a kind.
"She's perfectly healthy and happy; thank you very much !" You sprinted his way. He held up his hands in innocence, though his smirk revealed his thoughts.
"Of course, but also utterly bored." He leaned in, his smugness emanating from his whole body.
"Sure." You crossed your arms. "Because you know everything about having fun, Mister, I will never let you drive !" Yes. You were pouting. No. You will not apologise.
"Ooh, believe me, sweetheart, you're lucky I even let you near it."
Alright, so Crowley might not have appreciated how you drove the Bentley, but you both ended up having a great time ! Well, you and the car. But since you had driven with so much energy, it actually encouraged the demon to steer a little bit slower. You just shrugged the comment away.
"She's not a kart nor a race car, for that matter !" He exclaimed, throwing his arms everywhere.
"Don't underestimate her ; she's capable of a lot of things." You closed your eyes and nodded slowly. "Ah, such a shame you don't realise it..."
Speaking of realizing...
Shit. Aziraphale.
Great work, love angel. You felt bad for neglecting him and a weight settled on your shoulders.
"Anyway ! How was your day, Azi' ?" You gazed back, ignoring Crowley's ramble. The angel was facing the horizon, his absence crystal clear in his eyes. He snapped out of it, though, and a tight smile crept in.
"It went perfectly well, thank you ! Now, can we please head back to the bookshop so we can discuss our respective summonings ?" His hands were joined behind his back as he went to climb in.
"Of course ! W-Wait ! I'll go behind; this way I'll be close to Eden." You laughed nervously. Damn, you were way smoother with your other clients than with these two.
"No problem, Y/N." He simply said and smiled at you sweetly. Ah, what an angel, right ? Unworthy was what you were.
You heard Eden mooing in protest as Crowley picked her up to stuff her in again.
"C'mon, big girl, in you go- no ! No ! Not the jacket !" You tried to suppress your laughter at the sight.
"Hop on in, dear."
Aziraphale was holding the door open for you. You overdid your bow and got comfortable on the back seats, with the guardian doing the same after you. You felt guilt watching you from afar, ready to slay your throat.
"Let go, Eden ! Let go ! AAARGH-"
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"No need to overreact..."
"Overreact ?! She ate my jacket! Ugh... so ungrateful..."
Aziraphale shot him a disapproving look but didn't add anything; instead, he grabbed the torn fabric and fixed it.
"There. All gone."
The angel sat back on his seat but couldn't keep his eyes from rolling as Crowley kept on wailing about your mini cow's "betrayal". As for you, you enjoyed being the only one back there and having all this space to yourself.
You safely lay there, your mind drifting as you watched the pair talk to each other. A mushy smile painted on your face. The gentle melody of the song "Too Much Love Will Kill You", by Queen, gave the impression of a waltz in your small, confined space. Your hand was massaging your scalp to sooth you and your drumming heart. Your smile fainted with a sigh. Control your emotions, you repeated to yourself. But when you felt, you lived it thoroughly. And deep down, you suffered from it. You weren't supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to bring an angel and a demon together. And you weren't supposed to stand in between them.
Your hand slide down your body and firmly grabbed your right arm. Aziraphale was upset; you sensed it through your own emotions. He was hoping to spend time with Crowley alone without you teasing him for your own amusement. You couldn't stand in the way. You didn't want to ruin it for them. You were running out of time.
Stay away from them. Let them be...
Your chest ached as tears welled up in your eyes. The seats squeaked as you turned around, your back facing the road. Eyes shot tight, lips shivered, and a lonesome whimper crossed the barrier of your mind. The sound alerted the angel, his nature urging him to react.
"What's wrong, dear ? Do you feel ill ?"
His concern will be your death.
"Just worried, that's all," you lazily replied, seeking to close the conversation as soon as possible and give your spotlight away.
Don't worry about me...
"No need; I'll be there to help you ! Once we get to the bookshop, we'll plan out our side of the story and stick to it." You felt his eyes on you.
Forget about me...
"Don't fuss about it." Crowley said as well. "Y'know, they're... well, they're not very bright." He laughed in a breath. Aziphale couldn't restrain himself from laughing either.
A smile brushed your cheeks, not strong enough to remain there, but warmth at least tried to make its way to your heart. You looked up hesitantly, and your eyes met Aziraphale's... affectionate? You blushed involuntarily. Not affection, but compassion. Sympathy even !
Bashful, you quickly turned your eyes and looked at the interior mirror. Crowley must have sensed your eyes on him, because he almost instantly looked up at you through the mirror and winked. You rolled over again and hugged yourself tightly.
Mmph...
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I didn't expect it to be so long, but if I continue it would really be way too long 😭
Hope you enjoyed it ! I'll try my best to post once a week !
Parts : Previous - Next
Tag list : @legendary-maddie @kpop-athena @drugs-for-memes @emo-queer-boi @cunning-girl @mochikofi
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totally-not-trolls · 2 months
Text
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Julien redemption arc? Could be...
Finally! My Julien x Jet comic is done!! Thank you so much @felsicveins for letting me subject my son to the disaster that is Julien :)
More info about the piece and my thoughts under the cut :)
Once again, I am a BIG fan of drawing Julien and I had so so so much fun doing it! I got to add his tattoos this time which I thought was pretty cool and I ended up actually practicing facial expressions on him! Also, HE GOT A TAIL THIS TIME >:3
This is my first time doing a comic and I'm pretty proud of it given the fact that I took on so many panels. I tried typing the dialog and I was gonna give them all different fonts but that didn't end up working so I had to free hand it. I absolutely hated that bit but I think it is eligible enough and that was the goal.
Unfortunately, it doesn't have color. I really wanted it to and I fully intended on coloring it when I started but I simply could not get it to look how I wanted it to so it remains uncolored.
Some parts of it I think are lacking but over all I am really proud of myself for getting it done and it looking half way decent :)
Julien and Jet have been rotating in my brain for wayyy too long and I'm glad to finally be able to post this and hopefully get at least one other person on the Julien x Jet train!
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misc-obeyme · 6 months
Note
Hello! This is my first time sending in a request/suggestion for you! I hope it comes at a good time
For kinktober, may I suggest "Use your words" for a soft dom Diavolo?
If I formatted this wrong or accidentally misread your rules, feel free to delete! Hope you have a good day :]
Hello, anon!
This is the perfect time, though it took me a minute to get to it! Only because I put Diavolo in week three lol.
Okay, hopefully this turned out okay. I've been especially worried about my smut writing lately for some reason?? Anyway, I enjoyed writing it and I'm glad you decided to send it in!
Thank you for submitting a prompt!
KINKTOBER 2023
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GN!MC x Diavolo
NSFW MDNI
Warnings: soft dom!Diavolo, MC's wrists are tied, penetration (reader receiving), just a lil biting
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You were on your knees on Diavolo's bed, naked with your hands tied in front of you with the white tie from his RAD uniform. Your elbows were bent, the ends of the tie dangling down your stomach, the silky fabric brushing against your skin.
Diavolo stood before you, the rest of his uniform long since discarded on the floor with the pile of your clothes. Already you had red marks on your neck and shoulders from where he had been sucking and biting lightly.
You were panting slightly, covered with a sheen of sweat, the beat of your heat thudding heavily between your legs.
Diavolo took hold of your chin with his hand, tilting your head up to look at him. You saw the heat of desire in those gold eyes and whined.
Diavolo smiled at you before leaning down to kiss you. It was sweet and soft at first. And then he bit down on your lower lip, drawing just enough blood for you to taste it. You gasped into his mouth, your legs shaking.
Diavolo knelt before you, kissing your thighs as he stimulated the pulsing area between your legs with his fingers. You cried out and pressed against him. He allowed you to do this for a moment before pressing those fingers inside you, making you moan and struggle.
He was deliberate in the way he made you squirm, carefully using his fingers to bring you to the edge of climax before pulling away again. This had already been going on for so long, you wanted nothing more than for him to finally put his cock in you and let you come.
You struggled a little, shifting on your knees and whining.
Diavolo took his fingers away from you and stood up. He looked down at you and smiled. It was a soft, gentle smile despite the heat and desire you saw in his golden eyes. "Is there something you want, MC? Use your words."
"Please," you said, your voice quiet but unwavering. "Please let me come."
Diavolo brushed back some of your hair and cupped your cheek. "You've been so good for me tonight, I would say you've earned a reward."
You were thrilled to hear this and moments later you found yourself hoisted off the bed. You put your still tied wrists behind Diavolo's head, your arms on either side of him. Your legs wrapped around his hips. You only had a moment to feel that you were in a precarious position because soon enough you could feel Diavolo inside you, thick and hot and heavy. He was holding you carefully, pressing you into his chest, his strong arms keeping you up.
You cried out as you felt his cock, the angle at which he held you allowing him to penetrate deeply inside you. You wanted to clutch onto him, but your wrists were still expertly tied, the white fabric not giving at all. You simply had to trust that Diavolo had you, that he wouldn't let you fall.
And he didn't. No matter how much he moved you, no matter how quickly you felt his cock pounding into you, never once did Diavolo falter. You soon lost your ability to focus on anything other than the way he felt. You were already so sensitive from his earlier ministrations, you knew you wouldn't last very long.
You tried to hold yourself back, but you could feel yourself rapidly approaching the bright sweet feeling of an orgasm.
"Dia!" you cried out. "I'm-I'm going to…!"
Diavolo practically purred against your skin. "It's alright," he said. "Come for me."
You felt your body clench hard, your liquids spilling between the two of you, smearing across your legs.
Diavolo continued to thrust into you. The movements were sloppy now, both from him losing control of himself and the extra slipperiness from your cum.
When he finally filled you up, you moaned loudly, pressing yourself against him as much as you could, savoring the feeling of him, the rumble of his chest as he growled lowly.
After setting you back down on his bed, Diavolo gently untied your wrists. There were no marks from the tie's soft fabric, but he rubbed your skin carefully anyway. Without worrying about cleaning up, Diavolo gathered you in his arms, pulling you under the sheets with him. He kissed the top of your head and tucked you against his body. You found you were exhausted and you quickly fell asleep, warm and safe against his chest.
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flufftober | kinktober | masterlist | Thank you for reading!
taglist: @anxious-chick @t0tallycoolname @libidinous-weeb
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elleloquently · 1 year
Note
hello!!!! can i request a mini fic fluff ellie helps the reader with her swamped homeworks
| a/n : wrote this in my free time instead of.... you guessed it, doing homework. thank u for requesting <3 this is kinda short n sweet but i hope it will be enjoyed <3 this is dedicated to you anon, and everyone else who is absolutely overwhelmed w class
| c/w : self deprecating talk? kinda but not super serious. established relationship, ellie being a cute gf ): fluff central. kinda elle-coded 'cause reader cries
too soft for all of it - ellie williams
it took you a few seconds longer than usual to notice your phone ringing. you blinked heavily, tearing your eyes away from your bright laptop screen.
“hello?” you finally answered, stifling a yawn.
“babe, the fourth ring? you’re seriously giving me forth ring treatment?” ellie’s voice was a welcomed change in place of the lectures you had been listening to all day.
"sorry els," you muttered halfheartedly. you glanced at your planner, frowning. you had been working at this assignment for hours, at this rate you were behind schedule.
"what's wrong?" ellie asked, her voice softer.
"nothing," you sniffed. "just school. tired."
"are we still hanging out today?" ellie asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern. you hadn't texted her for a couple hours, ellie's first indication that something was wrong.
at her question, an irritating lump began to form at the back of your throat. you were supposed to hang out with your girlfriend today. you were also supposed to catch up on your assignments- it had been an extra busy week and you felt as though you were barely holding on. you had mapped out your week, organized which assignments you were going to complete on which day. however, some things were much harder than you had expected and your brain decided to feel blue this week instead of motivated.
not completing homework meant not seeing ellie, which was undoubtedly your final straw.
"i can't," you choked out, immediately drawing more concern from ellie. "i'm so busy ellie, and i've barely got anything done-"
"hey, it's okay," ellie soothed, automatically in girlfriend mode.
"it's NOT," you groaned, causing ellie to grimace. she felt bad listening to you on the phone, not being able to handle the sound of your voice breaking. "i haven't even started my essay yet, and i have three exams to study for, THREE ellie williams, three!"
ellie held back a laugh, clearing her throat before responding. "i know babe, i'm really sorry. is there anything i can do?"
you shook your head despite being on the phone. ellie heard rustling as you switched your phone to your opposite ear, turning your attention back to your laptop. "i can't do this anymore," you mumbled.
"yes you can, you're gonna get through it," ellie murmured, listening carefully to your uneven breathing.
"i have to drop out of school," you told ellie, rubbing your eye and trying to force the tears away.
"no," ellie disagreed. she felt bad, knowing how much you were struggling. the pain in your voice was enough to make ellie want to do anything and everything for you, but she couldn't help but smile at the dramatics.
"yes," you hiccuped. "i have to drop out of school, and m'gonna be a failure forever. my family will probably hate me and... and my eyes are gonna be fuzzy forever because i have too much homework and i can't, i can't look at my laptop anymore and my head always hurts," you cried, feeling pathetically small at how quickly your eyes welled up.
"whoa," ellie tried to keep her voice even, it was a horrible time to even let out a small chuckle. "i'm really sorry babe, it's gonna b-"
"and my stomach hurts because the dining hall food sucks, i just wanna take a hot bath so bad... everybody needs to leave me alone," you complained, trying to speak normally through the tears. "except for you," you added weakly.
"phew, glad i made the cut," ellie sighed in pretend relief, something that would normally be a quick way to make you giggle.
"ellie," you whined, pouting at your laptop screen.
"i know. how about you pack your stuff?" ellie suggested, already standing to retrieve her wallet and keys.
"weren't you listening? i can't hang out, i have to-"
"quit school and have fuzzy eyes? i hear you," ellie acknowledged. "but how about you come do those things at my apartment?"
your heartbeat quickened at ellie's offer, but you felt too defeated to take it seriously. "i can't," you cried, and ellie quickly turned up the volume on her phone. you were sniffing and your voice sounded muffled.
you rested your head on your desk, gently pushing your laptop away from you.
"you wanna stay at your dorm?" ellie questioned, already knowing the answer.
"no," you sobbed, and ellie winced.
"pack your stuff then, okay? you can come and have a nice bath, and i'll help you with everything, yeah? does that sound good?" ellie coaxed, already leaving from her front door.
"okay," you agreed meekly, standing up from your desk and looking helplessly around your room. "thank you ellie," you mumbled, wiping your tear stained cheeks roughly with your sleeve.
"don't thank me, just get ready, alright? i'll be there soon."
with promises to drive safe, you quickly began throwing everything you needed to bring into a bag. your eyes felt heavy with sleep as you packed and waited, but ellie kept her word and arrived for you as quickly as she could.
you met her at the front door of your building, bag slung carelessly over your shoulder.
with swollen lips and puffy eyes from crying, ellie’s heart lurched at the first sight of you.
"i'll trade you," ellie said in a greeting, automatically taking your bag from you and presenting you with your favorite order from a cafe down the street. you gasped in surprise, eyes welling up with tears.
"ellie," you uttered, looking to her in awe.
"what?" she asked nonchalantly, taking your free hand. "anything for my favorite girl," she told you. you trudged along to ellie's car, gasping when she opened the door for you to reveal a bundle of flowers waiting in the passenger seat.
at first you were silent, but ellie's proud smile quickly disappeared from her face when you finally choked out a sob.
"what?" she panicked, glancing wide eyed from the flowers to your face. "what's wrong?"
you stared at her, tears once again slipping down your checks. "this is so sweet." your chin wobbled as you spoke, and ellie squeezed your hand.
"it's not supposed to make you cry!" ellie rushed. "it's supposed to make you stop crying." she was partly concerned, partly amused as she watched your face contort with emotion.
"it's jus' sweet," you hiccuped, blinking slowly.
"you're sweet," ellie praised, coaxing you into the car. "c'mon, let's get you back so you can rest before you crash, we don't need you to be a crybaby and grumpy," she teased.
"hey," you frowned, sniffing the flowers that you held in your lap.
"hey," ellie repeated. "i'll help you, you're gonna be just fine."
“you’re gonna make me cry again,” you warned, sensitive but holding back a smile.
“uh oh,” ellie grimaced. “let’s get you outta here, waterworks.”
“ellie!” you exclaimed, finally breaking out into a grin.
ellie swelled with pride once you finally smiled, a feeling that carried her through the evening while she helped you get through everything you were stressed about.
by the end of the night, you were feeling much better, especially considering how the day had started.
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pendragonsclotpole · 7 months
Text
I need to preface this post with the fact that I’ve been aware of Supernatural for as long as I’ve known what the terms fanfiction and fandom mean. It’s one of those pop culture moments that’s existed on the periphery of my mind as something really beloved and bemoaned about by people on the internet, but it’s never been something I really cared about outside of some iconic memes.
For the past four days, I’ve been watching Supernatural non-stop in my free time. I think I sat through eight episodes straight on one of those days, and I just have to say, the show is phenomenal.
I don’t know where to start, I could make a dozen of these posts about various points throughout the first two seasons and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’ve now taken a break at episode one of season three, because now that it’s a weekday I have work and can’t dedicate the time I could on the weekend.
First, Jared Padalecki’s acting is so beautiful and poignant and emotional. He really makes Sam Winchester into the bleeding heart of the whole show, and the entire time he’s on screen I worry about Sam. His portrayal of Sam’s heartbreak and desperation at Dean’s impending death after the car crash, as well as Sam’s horror at the reveal of what John told Dean before dying held a tragic desperation and denial that really embodied what the character represented in the first two seasons. Even as a hunter and with his special abilities, Sam felt like a quasi self-insert for the audience. I don’t mean that in a bad or overly tropey way, but in the way that he felt robbed of a proper childhood in favor of his father’s crusade. Sam is the angry, indignant younger sibling who never bore the brunt of responsibility like the older sibling did and it shows. In some ways, it makes him more entitled—I don’t mean that Sam does not have the right to be angry with John Winchester. He does. Fuck John Winchester. I mean entitled in the unintentional, coincidental way that your little brother or sister always demands the things you never had or rebels against the authority of the parent without ever dealing with the consequences you did as the older sibling. It reveals the veneer of freedom he had and the protection he received by virtue of his place in the Winchester Family. For me, it made him unbearably real, and this feeling of realness was made worse by the genuine naivety and innocence he keeps even as he continually gets screwed over by the demons. There’s a steadfast belief in the goodness of others within Sam that often conflicts with the sense of goodness he believes he lacks.
Sam trusts so easily, but he understands people in ways that should be antithetical to his upbringing. It took me forever to reconcile why he seemed so familiar, until I realized that Sam Winchester, for all that he was one of John Winchester’s son, had received the unconditional love of an older sibling for his entire childhood.
I don’t mean the perfect, kind, healthy love that often exists between fictional siblings. Too often I’ve watched media that makes me wonder how siblings like that even exist, or conversely, made me glad my siblings weren’t so fucked up.
I mean the kind of platonic love that exists between siblings living in the liminal space of love and hate thanks to the single fucked up connection that draws them back together continuously out of some sense of duty or commiseration or the need to be understood.
I mean the kind of love between siblings that would wither away when in a perfect world that does not stake their survival on their codependence of each other, but that in an imperfect and real world is equated to familiarity. Sam and Dean against the world—against John Winchester.
Out of all of the episodes I’ve watched in the last day and a half, perhaps the one that struck me most was episode 20, Season 2. What is and What Should Never Be. Not only was the title a bit of emotional whiplash—the juxtaposition of Should and Never lending a finality or a sense of wrongness that can’t be replicated by the words “Could Never—but we see Dean and Sam in a world where their one connection, hunting, has completely vanished and at a high cost to all the people they’ve saved, but mostly to Sam and Dean themselves. They’re connection as ride or die brothers is gone, replaced by an ostensibly better, healthier, more normal future liberated from the expectations of the rest of the world.
Without the death of Mary Winchester, Dean and Sam are no longer Dean and Sam. They’re just two people, connected by the two people that raised them, and likely to drift apart after that connection dies—frayed ends of a tapestry pulling apart and unraveling. Dean gains a mom and a normal life, but metaphorically loses a brother and a sense of purpose. Who is Dean Winchester if he’s not a hunter and Sam’s brother? And the sad thing is, neither of these are traits Dean ever chose. They are conditions foisted upon him, perhaps not intentionally, such as in the case of Sam, but ultimately placed on his soul until they tethered themselves to the very core of what being Dean Winchester is supposed to mean. The end of the episode, and Dean’s choice to return to the real world, regardless of Sam waking him up, is Dean fully giving up his dream in order to save Sam and be a hunter. The fallacy of the episode is in the choice Dean makes, which the more I think about it, feels less like a choice and more of an inevitability but one compounded by Dean’s readiness and willingness to go with it.
This is where I get to the crux of my surprise with these first early seasons of Supernatural: Dean Motherfucking Winchester.
I don’t know what I was expecting from early seasons of Supernatural, especially with the context of the later seasons. Maybe an overly cheesy, early 2000s ode to roadtrip Americana with a self-reverential take on the classic gun slinging frontiersman of the Wild West and bad supernatural CGI. Not to say it isn’t that (shout out to Sam’s comment on Dean’s particular brand of butch), but what surprised me was how real the connection between the characters was manifested on screen and how much good will the show built up in the audience. There came a point where I sided with Dean so much in the events of the show that I felt like I was riding shotgun in the impala. I saw it with every compliant “yes, sir” he gave to John, with every teasing comment he threw at Sam, and with every act of selflessness he exhibited by protecting other people. This isn’t to say that Dean is perfect. Sometimes he doesn’t take things seriously enough, or he’s willing to sacrifice people for some misguided greater good, or he’s obsessed with saving Sam even when he wouldn’t be if it were anyone else, but Dean has a conviction so many people lack. He has the capacity to love at a great cost to himself, either because he believes himself unworthy of being loved or because he’s not used to anything else.
Jensen Ackles does such a good job at this portrayal and with such a different technique than Jared Padalecki. Ackles embodies the desperate need for self-assuredness that Dean breathes, as well as the genuine fear he has of being seen. I love laughing with Dean as much as I love screaming at him for how stupid he’s being. If Sam is the self-insert, then Dean is the tragic hero, although that comparison feels like a poor facsimile for what Dean Winchester truly is because I don’t particularly feel an overwhelming sense of pity at his state or at his hinted downfall with that demon deal. If anything, I feel a sense of indignation mixed with understanding and frustration that Dean can’t catch a break but at the end of it all, is just how he prefers it.
It shouldn’t be a shock to admit that even without knowing what happens from seasons 3 to 15, I know how Supernatural ends. Just thinking about the ending makes me wonder if I should even continue it past season 5, but that’s a decision for another time.
For now, there’s something unbearably tragic in seeing Dean Winchester so close to a chance of a normal life and apple pie happiness (something he really seems to desire no matter how much he denies it) and then having to give it up, not just because it’s not real, but because he believes it should never be real.
Dean Winchester deserves better.
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