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#My left eye does that droopy thing

bedoballoons · 7 months

Note

Hi! Could I request a bit of angst to fluff? Maybe Kaeya, Tighnari, Aether, and Itto when there s/o leaves without telling them to clear their head after an argument and they get worried thinking they left them? I'm not sure that makes sense, but I hope it does.

Thank you!

It makes sense!! Thank you so much for your request and I'm so sorry it took a long time to write for you!! I hope you still enjoy it though!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃

{༻~Have you left me~༺}

CW: Angst to fluff! Past arguments but making up in the end! Characters think the reader may have left them! Kaeya drinks some wine to ease the pain! Very slight mention of the abyss twin in Aethers.

(Includes: Itto, Tighnari, Kaeya, and Aether!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Itto:

Itto combed a hand through his thick white hair, trying to make sense of how everything had went bad so quickly, how the two of you had actually gotten into a full blown argument...he loved you so much, why did he start yelling back, what was wrong with him. He sighed, not knowing how to make it better, he wanted to go after you, but you'd just left. What if you didn't want to see him, what if you didn't want anything to do with him... what if you no longer wanted to be his one and oni...

"Come on Itto, use that brain of yours. What do you do when you've upset someone? Apologize. Right right okay, gotta apologize. Flowers? Those are romantic...but maybe to cheesy! What if...yes thats it!" He made a plan out loud, hurrying to get what was needed before running out the door after you. He searched for hours, checking every spot he'd ever caught you in, asking around for you to every person he saw until finally...he found you.

You were sitting under the shade of a lavender melon tree, eyes puffy from tears and nose red from the cold, you looked heart broken...,"Hey, I know you don't want to talk to me right now, for good reason too but I have to talk to you okay! I'm not good with words, but I know how to say sorry...and I know how to say I love you and in case you don't believe me...I wanted to give you something..."

You looked up at him, eyes widened when you saw a golden beetle trophy in his hands...to anyone else this would have been ridiculous, but you knew it was something he cherished, probably even his most precious item, "What... why would you...that's the most important thing in the world to you..."

He shook his head, setting the trophy in front of you, "No you're wrong, you're the most important thing in the world to me and I'm really really sorry I made you upset. I'll do anything to make it better, you can throw beans at me, I'll give you all of my candy stash...I'll even give you my prizes beetles...I just want to be with you."

You started to cry more, which caught him a little off guard, but these were happy tears..."I want to be with you too...and I'm sorry for what I said...I love you Itto."

"I love you more"

𑁍༄Tighnari:

Tighnari rubbed his eyes, trying to dry the tears that didn't seem to have a end, his ears droopy and you...the person he loved with all his heart, had just walked out without a word. Was it over? Was he never going to be able to hug you again? He just couldn't accept it, he needed you in his life and maybe he hadn't said that enough, but he'd say it as many times as you wanted as long as your promised to come back with him.

He quickly threw on a extra coat, he had no plan and no way of knowing where you had went, but even if it took all night, he'd find you just to apologize, just to let you know how much he adored you. He'd search the entire forest if he had to.

Thankfully it wasn't needed, after a few hours his ears perked up, the soft sounds of your sobs reverberating off cave walls, the place he had shown you one time while gathering herbs...it was by a waterfall that held glowing algae and he's been wanting to take you back for so long... he never would have thought the two of you revisiting would be at a time like this..

He made his way to you and sat down, feeling a pang in his chest when you scooched away, it hurt...fighting with you, "I'm...I'm so sorry. Im sure you don't even want to hear it, but I don't think I've ever been so upset with myself before. I love you and I have never wanted to make you unhappy...you...you are my person. My soulmate. The one. Please...I don't want you to leave, I don't want us to end...I can't...loose you."

His voice started to break, sentences getting harder to finish, he couldn't even picture his life without you anymore and the horrible thought that it could happen because of his mistakes was eating him alive...

"I don't...want to loose you either Tighnari... soulmates go both ways. I'm yours and you're mine and I love you,...I just don't want to fight." You swallowed roughly, trying to stop yourself from crying even more as he wrapped his coat around you and pulled you into him, embracing you tighter than he ever had, "I love you too, and I promise...no more fighting."

��༄Kaeya:

Kaeya took another sip from his wine bottle, trying to calm himself down...he almost never got into confrontations, in fact he always avoided them, preferring to smooth talk his way out of situations instead...,but what had went down between the two of you was anything but smooth. He'd said such hurtful things, he didn't even mean to, he'd just lost his cool and then you ran off before he could apologize and now...here he was, sitting under the stars trying to drink away his feelings when he knew full well it wasn't going to solve anything.

Then as he was sitting there, staring off into space...he caught sight of you, just barely outside the city walls, throwing rocks into the water with a satisfying splash while sniffling and holding yourself for comfort between tosses. Suddenly his wine lost any flavour, his mind drawn back to when he first met you, the way your eyes sparkled, the way your smile made his heart skip a beat...and how you laughed at his advances, completely oblivious to his feelings.

He picked himself off the chair he'd been sitting on, left his bottle waiting on the table for a cheery bard to find and then made his way over to you, more serious and determined than he had been in a very long time. The second he was close enough he gently intertwined you hand with his, spinning you for a brief second so your eyes would meet and your body would be close to his...the air felt cold, but he had a warm smile and before you could even attempt to push him away he kissed your lips.

It was unlike any kiss you'd ever had with him, it was passionate...slow...apologetic, it conveyed everything he wanted to say to you without ever saying a word and when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, he begged you to stay with him.

𑁍༄Aether:

Aether was running, running past branches and shrubbery, past trees and jumping over rocks, he wasn't worried about what scratches or bruises he'd have by the time he got to you, all he was worried about...all that was running through his mind, was his apology to you. He didn't know what had even started the argument anymore, he didn't care, he just needed you to know he was wrong and that he loved you, that he didn't want you to go, that he couldn't let you go.

He frantically searched around, looking for signs of you while he tripped over sticks and stomped into muddy puddles, "Hello!!" He shouted for you, his eyes scanning the moonlit trees and then, in the distance, he saw a faint light. It was the lamp you had taken with you when you'd left without a word and his first sign that you were near him. He ran to it, knowing full well he looked like a mess when he finally caught up to you, panting and covered in dirt....he looked like he'd just been through a hurricane.

"Aether what the hell-"

"No n-no, wait let me start. I just, i-i just had to follow you because none of what I said was true, I love you. That's the truth. I'd r-run to the ends of the earth to tell you that and then I'd do it again to prove it if you asked me to. Please, forgive me. I can't go on without you, I can't loose you too..." He looked away, trying not to think about his sister...about what it would be like if he didn't have you in his life anymore...what reason would he even have to continue?

"Did you really run...all the way here?"

"Yes, I love you and I don't want you to go..."

"I love you too Aether...and it's okay, I just wanted to clear my head, I'm not leaving." You went to kiss him...but decided it better wait till after he had been cleaned, you'd never had someone run so far just for you before...

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

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lujingheswife · 6 months

Text

and it felt like home again.

summary: when he gets drowned in exhaustion and homesickness, the first thing he wishes for is home.

featuring: oikawa tooru

word count: 729

cw: gn!reader, timeskip!oikawa tooru, comfort, oikawa is just homesick, not proofread, intentional lowercase, a bit of fluff <3

author’s notes: wanna write a fic of a character feeling homesick and exhausted (because i was) and oikawa was the first person that came into my mind! hope you enjoyyy

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

it was seven o clock in the evening.

tooru limply stepped into his rented apartment, the familiar loneliness welcoming him with silence. his eyes felt droopy from lack of sleep, his body sore from multiple rounds of exercising and his arms bruised from the strong receives.

he should be used to this, which he is, yet it happened to be one of those days when he felt absolutely, dreadfully exhausted.

he would be lying if he says he does not want to go home; he really wanted to. the countless practices had always made him wanting to just pack his bags and leave. he missed his family and his mother’s home cooked meals, he missed enjoying authentic ramen at the restaurant near his high school, he missed being in the arms if his partner just taking his time to relax.

he missed his home.

tooru placed his bags by the entrance, not bothering to arrange them somewhere. he kicked his shoes off without caring to keep them nicely in the shoe rack. he let his legs drag him towards the nearest, softest place he could find to rest— the sofa.

the apartment was dark although illuminated by the light lingering in the evening sky. he heavily rested an arm over his eyes, a loud sigh escaped his lips.

the first person that came into his mind was you.

he wanted to see you.

tooru suddenly thought of his phone that was left forgotten in his bag. he slightly lifted his arm to take a peek at his bag, but ignored it after.

whatever, not in the mood...

just a little longer maybe.

when his eyes could no longer bear the weight of his consciousness, they finally put him into slumber.

he found himself in a dream. he was in a field of grass with nothing else around him. every direction he went showed no signs of obstacle, only an endless field.

what was he searching for?

where was he going?

he continued walking aimlessly.

ah... how long have i been walking for?

the sound of a bell ringing came to him from the front. it caught his attention, and his legs picked up the pace. there he was, running towards where the bell rung from in hopes of a destination.

a flash of light blinded him.

tooru jotted awake from the sofa as the sound of the ringing doorbell continued echoing the apartment. confused, he definitely recalled not ordering any food delivery today nor did he invite anyone to come over.

"coming," he called. he groggily dragged himself towards the door, not bothering to check his phone again.

his hand reached for the doorknob as he unlocked it open. he had not look at who the person is, yet the shoes definitely belonged to someone familiar. "do you need anythi-"

"tooru!"

what?

his once droopy eyes widened immediately at the familiar voice calling for his name. his head shot up from facing the floor, immediately locking eyes with you.

you stood in front of his door with a big backpack clinging onto your back like a koala and a luggage standing next to you. you were there, physically, in front of him, plastering a grin that he loved so much on your face. "you did not answer my call," you said as you pouted your lips on purpose, yet he was sure that you were simply amused at your boyfriend's reaction.

tooru remained speechless as he observed you top to toe, confirming whether its the real deal, his precious partner, in front of his doorstep. was it a coincidence that you somehow magically appeared in front of him like an angel during the times when he needed you the most? probably.

his hand left the door knob as he immediately pulled you into a tight, warm embrace. how surreal did it feel when he buried his face in the crook of your neck, enjoying the coziness he longed to feel. he felt you responding to his hug as you returned it, and he could feel your familiar scent tickling his nose saying, "it's been a while!"

he stayed with you for a little longer before getting pestered to help you with your heavy bags. he asked no questions, just clinging onto you like a helpless toddler and ended the day with a cuddle.

and it felt like home again.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru #haikyuu oikawa #hq oikawa #oikawa tōru #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x you #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru imagine #oikawa tooru x y/n #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa tooru fluff #oikawa fluff

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tan1shere · 5 months

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Slumber Party pt 3

A/n: hey everyone, sorry this has taken awhile I wanted to make it extra special for you all. Hope it was worth the wait, my requests are open for any other stories you may want! (Please I'm begging 😭) possibly the last part! Not too sure yet but regardless. Enjoy !

Masterlist

Summary: like the song slumber party. Ellie thinks she can treat you better then your shitty girlfriend.

Warnings: Dom Ellie, she's kinda soft but not really- smoking, high Ellie (just a lil bit) protective Ellie

Its not like you were sneaking around when Isabel got back. Because Ellie had told you, she texted Isabel. At first you were really worried, scared even. But that feeling soon left, you started to not give a fuck. Your feelings for Ellie much too strong to worry about Isabel, any longer. And you indeed took up Ellies offer. But like most things in your life. It came with a price.

You were deciding to pack when Isabel was at work. You didn't have too much stuff of your own, most of it was hers. So it was easily hidden when she got back home. You had no idea how to approach even telling her that you were leaving. Should you just go? Spare the broken bones and possible tears? You say you don't give a fuck, but you know with how you are that's a lie. You feel too much, your feelings can be way too overpowering. So you landed on leaving without any notice.

Since she broke your phone, there was no way of contacting. She didn't know where Ellie lived so she couldn't search out to find you. You'd leave tomorrow... Or maybe the next day. You sigh sitting on the bed. You couldn't tell what was holding you back so much. Was it fear? Was it comfort? You shake your head. That couldn't be it, you hated this place. Regardless of when you'd probably do it during the day when she's at work. You did however have a backup phone that she didn't know about. You wanted to keep in contact with Ellie. That night you two had was one you couldn't ever forget. It made you more needier for her. You wanted her forever. Suddenly you hear your phone go off on the secret phone.

This made your brain go even more fuzzy. The fact you had just been thinking about her.. the fact she's high right now. You so wanted to be around her when she was like that. You think about it more. How her beautiful eyes would be droopy, and a lil red. You think back to her in the white wife beater and you feel yourself clench your thighs together. You can't get distracted. Oh but how you needed her so badly.

The day has come. You had finally finished packing. Isabel was at work so this was the perfect time to leave.. So you thought. As you were carrying your duffle bag to the front door. Your met with those same eyes. The same terrifying ones you hate. You widen your eyes and gulp. Frozen to the floor. You stand there unable to process why the hell she's home already. She looks at you starting to look furious. You don't get why, if she hates you so much why can't she just let you go. But that's the thing. She hated you, she wanted you so she could ruin your life. Ruin your happiness. You then regain composure, going to sternly push past her. She grabs your arm firmly.

"Now where the fuck. Do you think you're leaving to." You glare at her, for the first time, letting your anger overtake the sadness. "None of your business." You spat. Still giving her the same look. "You're off to hers aren't you." You don't say anything. You honestly don't know how to respond. But you're cut short with the conversation when Ellie pulls up. You and Isabel both look outside, seeing her car pull to a stop. You try and get out of Isabels tight hold, knowing you're safe now as she can't lay even a finger on you, having Ellie as a witness. Although if you're being truthful, you don't think Isabel would give a shit.

Ellie gets out coming over to you guys. Thankfully Ellie was taller then the both of you, making it more intimidating. Isabel was hesitant to let you go, but she nonetheless does. You go impossibly closer to Ellie. Wondering just how this was going to play out. "Dont think about trying to follow us. Nor contacting her. I've been easy on you for her sake but I will quite literally kill you if you come anywhere near her, ever. Again." Isabel let's out a huff, going back inside and slamming the door. It's over.... You're free.

"You can put the rest in my roo-" Ellie begins to speak but you cut her off, grabbing her shirt and kissing her. "I need you." You say slightly out of breath. She was bewildered at first, but regardless, she picks you up, taking you to her room and gently putting you down on the bed. She begins to strip you of your clothes, just as eager. "I've been waiting all day, just so I can have you." She spoke softly, yet a slight roughness was added to her tone. Shes driving you crazy. "Fuck I needed this all day yesterday. Was even touching myself thinking about you." That sent you over the borderline of crazy. That sent you ballistic. The thought of Ellie high. Touching herself to the thought of you. You could've just came from the thought.

You just can't believe that you're here with her. In these circumstances. Your childhood best friend. Your secret little crush from way back. "I want you to take me Ellie. Make me yours. Forever." You blurt out. Ellie then wasted no time coming down to your thighs, gripping them tight. Which made you to clench them at the feeling of her soft hands. Causing her to feel your sopping wet underwear. Making her groan with anticipation. She rips them open wasting absolutely no time at all. "Promise to buy you another pair. Fuck.. I'll buy you a whole set." She leans down but before she does anything. She pauses. You whine. "Ellie please. I want your tongue so badly.." You let out a breath as you can feel hers, warm and amazing, fanning over your cunt.

"That's a want princess. Not a need. I don't think you truly need this. Or do you angel." She was teasing, and it was tearing you up inside. "I need it. Need your amazing tongue to fuck into me. Need it desperately Els I crave it." She rolls her eyes back, leaning down immediately. Eating you. Devouring you. This felt like another universe of ecstasy. It felt so unreal. But it was very real. Her pumping her amazing tongue in and out of you. At a relentless pace. "Fuck.. you taste so good I could eat you for breakfast lunch and dinner." She purrs against you, never stopping even when she spoke.

"Th-that can be arranged." You pant like a dog who needs water. Arching your back at this euphoric feeling. Sending you into overdrive. She gently moves her hand up to your breasts. Squeezing with ease. You let out a sharp moan, letting your head rest back into the pillows. "Come on angel. Wanna taste your sweetness. Squirt in my mouth baby." Feeling the tightness in your lower stomach again, you do just that. Making it shoot down the back of her throat. She swallows it with pure pleasure. She was so incredibly pussy drunk, it was insane. You were just the same, feeling fucked out and only from her tongue. What couldn't this woman do.

But you were pulled out of your thoughts when you suddenly heard a belt buckle, and it being thrown onto the floor. You blinked a few times to regain your consciousness. But that was soon gone again as she fucks into you. Hard, and fast. You let out a gasp, it slowly turning into a moan. One only heard by porn stars. You grip the sheets, tightly. Feeling her relentlessly fuck into you. It was truly heaven. To think you could've been with her this whole time. She actually cares for you. Wants you. She.. wants, you. You still couldn't believe it. She grips your hips tightly as she speeds up a bit more, making you scream out her name.

"She would, never. Fuck you, like I do. She'd never know your body. Like I do. She'd never be able to make you cum in under 5 minutes. Like. I. Do." You bite your lip. Holding back the most craziest of sounds. "Did she ever make you feel this way angel? Ever?" You arch your back yet again, wanting more. If that was even possible. You let out little whimpers. "Fuck you make me so crazy. You're so fucking precious. Like a real life angel. Gunna protect you from now on. No one. Will. Ever. Hurt you." She leans down to the skin of your neck going to suck, hard. You let out breaths as both the feeling of her mouth and strap. She hums against your skin.

"You. Are. Mine." She keeps marking your skin. Worshipping you. She's so madly inlove with you she can't think straight. "Come on baby.. want you to cum.. desperate for it. Want you to milk it. Show that I'm yours too. No one else gets this strap but you angel. Claim it." And you fucking claimed it alright. Cumming with so much pleasure running through your body. It was indescribable. Just how intense it was. She even came a bit, watching her girl unravel under her control. Makes her wild. You let out breaths, feeling sweaty, and tired.

She pulls out, taking it off and setting it aside. "Mine now?" You breathe out. "Yours now angel. All yours." She kisses your temple and lays with you. Bringing you close. And for the first time in what felt like forever. You felt safe.. content. You felt at home, in the arms of your future wife.

A/n: I'm so sorry if this is awful lovelies :( I had to restart cuz I accidentally got rid of some of my best work. So it's not the best. I hope you guys enjoy it tho! Much love <3

#elliewilliams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams the last of us smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader

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brighttears · 7 months

Text

Home

Joel Miller x f!reader

No physical description, no use of y/n

Summary: Joel wakes up alone in your bed in your house in Jackson, only a few months in there, and does not know what to do without you there. When you get home, he figures it out.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: pet names (baby, my love, angel, good girl, perfect girl, darling), smut (minors dni), mutual masturbation, unprotected PiV, dirty talk, roughish?, creampie (joel wants to put a baby in you), size kink

A/n: some sweet nastiness that is all <3

—

Joel wakes up with a start, sucking in a breath, eyes, once the images from his nightmares have released them, flicking around the room, disoriented. All there is, though, is the white walls, littered with tasteful, plain paintings, hung by someone else. He feels the sheets under his hand, soft and light. Coming back to the present, relief washes over him, releasing his lungs. The feeling is fleeting though, and followed by hazy disconcertment. He’s still not used to this, waking up in a house. The place next to him in the bed is empty, a dip in the pillow still left from your head. Joel raises slowly, as he does these days, nothing to get up for, really, no pressing objective, no crisis to address. He wears socks, sweatpants, and t-shirt. He only just barely became accustomed to sleeping in something other than his full gear—jeans, shirt, jacket, even his boots. Ready for anything. But, again, there's nothing to be ready for in Jackson.

Joel sits up on the bed, planting his feet on the hardwood floors with a sigh. You’re not here, which he never likes, but he knows you’re safe, helping out in the kitchen before breakfast, like you do many mornings. You are also stuck on not having anything to do, and have yet to adjust to a sound sleeping schedule.

He raises to his feet to stand, not moving, not sure what to do now. He walks out of the bedroom, stopping again in the hallway, a bathroom and spare room doored along the wall with a staircase on the other side. He walks into the bathroom, clean and white. He stands in front of the mirror, blinking at his reflection. Another thing he’s still not used to. He looks tired. He always looks tired. Droopy skin, wrinkles and scars, dark circles stained under his eyes. Graying hair. Graying beard. The first time he got a good look of himself here it occurred to him that he’s too damn old for this. For all of it. But now… he’s safe. In a house. Waking up in a bed, a real bed, frame intact and all. But he doesn’t quite feel safe, normal, like the walls around him are. He feels alien. Like he doesn't belong.

He turns on the water and splashes it cold on his face, rubbing it off with a soft towel. He wanders back into the hall and starts down the creaky steps with heavy feet, running his hand down the smooth wood railing. At the bottom of the stairs, he’s stuck again. Nothing to do.

Joel drifts from room to room, aimlessly wandering around the house. Passing his eyes over more tastefully plain decorations that mean nothing to him, running his hands over clean surfaces, he feels utterly lost. A stray in a new home, though you’ve been here for a few months now. The sound of laughing children float in through the open window in the kitchen, reminding him again that he’s in Jackson, a peaceful commune, walled in, safe. The word still tastes sour in his mouth, as if he’s being fed fruit that looks fresh but is rotten.

He turns on the tap, lets it run, turns it off again. He misses you. You are his what to do. You are his direction, his plan, the one he looks to, stands by. You are what he does. Without you, he’s lost, lost in this big house.

The doorknob turning perks his ears up, and Joel walks straight to it before it’s even open, halting his feet before he reaches you, timorously as you enter, a small smile growing on your lips once you see him, eyes halfway bright like a struggling bulb.

“Hey,” you greet him softly.

“Hey,” he returns, drawing closer as you unlace your boots.

“You were at the kitchen?” He asks even though he knows the answer.

“Yeah—I didn’t wake you up when I left, did I?”

“No, I only got up a little bit ago.” He motions upstairs, nervously scratching the back of his neck. Little greetings like this, casual chit chat, is another thing to learn. He’s used to emergencies, calamities, sudden movements, things like that, not frivolous conversation, though he cherishes every word.

“Good. I never wanna wake you. You always look like you need the sleep,” you chuckle as you straighten, coming up to him to smooth your hands up his chest and around his neck, looking up at him with a wide smile, eyelids droopy, your soft expression rolling a smile upon his own lips. “You look good in sweatpants and a t-shirt.”

Joel chuckles, wrapping his hands around your waist and rubbing them up and down your back. He sighs, then whispers, “I missed you.”

“It’s been less than 12 hours,” you chuckle, matching his quiet tone, idling eyes over his features filling his chest, though he’s watched it a hundred times, “but I missed you too.” You press a gentle kiss to his lips, and with his eyes closed, he hears you say, so soft it sounds like it’s only the air itself whispering, “My love.” Joel sighs, your words like clean air pumping back into his lungs. He kisses you again, unable to help himself, like it’s simply the next thing to do.

That feeling of disorientation and misplacement is gone now. Because you are here. You are absolutely his rock, his meaning, his reasoning, his purpose. The world makes sense only when you are there, here, in his arms, your lips bringing him back to the ground. And now, he loves this house, your new home, though it doesn't look like it yet. But you are here. So he is home. Within walls, a roof over your head, a bed to lay in, a table to eat at together. A couch to lounge on. A bathroom to shower in together. And somewhere were you can fuck however loud you want. That is another fortuitous plus of Jackson, he can finally hear your moans in their full capacity, hear you scream his name, beg for more, your sounds a new addition to all the things about you to be addicted to. No burying those sweet refrains in the palm of his hand or some filthy mattress.

The first time you broke in the bed, Joel could felt like he might actually believe in god. And you get to do it whenever you want, every night, all throughout the day, like you’ve rediscovered it, and can now appreciate it in all its glory.

You are also allowed slow moments, like this, defenses down, closed eyes and relaxed limbs, wandering, oh, the hallowed lingering, Joel is cognizant of every moment, treasuring the time he used to agonize over, all that wishing for something like this, just, time, and here it is, in his arms.

Joel eases you into his embrace, wrapping his arms around you to press your body until it’s flush with his, burying his face in your neck, inhaling, and exhaling, “I love you so much, baby.” Your body configures perfectly with his, like two pieces of a puzzle, and he cocoons you as if to mesh you together permanently. Your hand tangles in his hair, the other smoothing around his neck, and you whisper back, “I love you more than anything, Joel.” He breathes your words in again, feeling his brow furrow up like he could cry.

Yes, it’s strange here, sometimes perturbing, so completely unknown, and it’s been a battle to let his guard down, but he has some; he’s cried more times in the few months you’ve been here than he has in years. The first time, it was because of something like this. Lying in bed, unhurried, roaming hands, rolling together like slow waves, room for ease, for sluggish touch, oh god, the relaxation, words simply falling out, endless I love you’s, and you whispered in his ear, “I love you more than anything,” and he cried. And you held him, and reminded him that he could, and he cried hard, like a child, and you cradled him like one.

It’s because he can now, can allow himself to feel fully, and be allowed to release it, into someone's arms, into yours. Safe. Home.

He sways you slowly in his arms, pressing soft kisses over neck and shoulder. You told him you loved him for the first time years ago, but then, what mostly filled him was fear. Despair. Loving you, having you love him, was not very beautiful, because it meant pain. Always pain. He knew the love was immortal, but the two of you are not. Who would he rather die first, him, leaving you alone out here, or you, leaving him with that gaping wound? Every close call was like taking an ax to the poles that held the world up over his head, watching it swing, only barely missing the thing that kept all the wood and rock and sky from crashing down. But, you made it to Jackson. And now, that fear has been reeled back in, and the charm and grace of being in love has been unearthed. The I love you’s were caked in fear before. Now, they’re pure.

“I love you more.” He smiles into your shoulder, knowing the response he’ll get, which is an annoyed hum and a quick step on his foot.

“Stop saying that. It’s not fair.” You whine, muffled in his chest, though he can feel the smile on your lips.

“Alright, alright,” he murmurs, chuckling. You pull back to look at him and he lets his hands rest on your arms, watching you.

“I really did miss you.” You say quietly, “I’m still not used to not being with you all the time.”

“Me neither.” He mumbles, looking over your face. The face of an angel, that’s what ran through this mind the first moment he saw you. An angel with a rifle and a smile that could make even the roughest man swoon. Something sent from god to show him why he needs to keep going, why he’s here—to protect, to love.

He was digging from the bottom of the barrel when you met, relying on old phrases that had kept him going for years, focused on Tommy, but the lens was getting dirty, and he found his movements starting to slow. But then you came along, and he was rejuvenated. Ready again to do whatever it takes. For you. For Tommy. To keep you and to find him. And he’s done it. Now all there is to do is to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Spending time with his brother, going on double dates with him and his wife, walking around town hand in hand with you, and fucking like rabbits.

You hum a sigh, tucking a curly lock behind his ear and letting your hand rest there on his face. “We’ve still got some time before they start serving food. I wanted to come back here so we could go together.” You chuckle, “I don’t know what to do until then. Still not used to idle time.”

The thoughts rolling around behind his eyes slip out through his hands, traveling up the back of your shirt, and he smiles, “I have an idea.” You chuckle as he brings his face close to yours, ghosting your lips with his. No more quick and harsh, no need to rush.

“Don’t tease me,” you breathe out, hooking your wrists around his neck to pull his kiss. He obliges, sliding his arms around your waist to bring you close once more. You press yourself closer, deepening the kiss with a mewling moan, a sound that never fails to get him hard. A moan rumbles from his throat as he crosses his arms around your waist to pull you against him, starting to grind his hips. You pull in a breath, parting your lips for only a moment before you lick back into his mouth.

“Where d’you wanna go with this?” Joel mumbles into your lips, sliding his hands up to hook his thumbs over your shirt to start to pull it off.

“We haven’t fucked on the couch in awhile, huh?” You reply, shifting back to help him to unclothe you.

“We have not.” Joel smiles, shamelessly staring at your bare chest, bringing your breast into his hand as he pulls you back against him instead, kissing sloppy and wet. You start to walk backwards and around to the couch, and he chases you with his touch. You turn him for his back to be to the couch, then shove your hand into his chest to push him down on it before coming up to straddle him. “Goddamn,” he mumbles, mostly to himself, and you smile into his lips. You start your hand on his lower torso, gracefully sliding your hand under his shirt to pull it up his chest. Your touch over his skin sends shivers up after it, that giddy feeling that makes him feel young again making him sigh. Even after all this time, you still manage to make him feel shy about what you can do to him, how head over heels he is. Eagerly, he follows your lead and pulls his shirt up over his head, leaning forward once it’s off to find your lips again and then pull your hips over his. You start to roll them, placing your hands back around his neck, and Joel’s fingers dig into your thighs, reminding him that you still have too many clothes on. He starts to unbutton your jeans, and you raise to your feet to take them off, him rushing to pull own his bottoms off. Swift movements on both ends to get naked so that you can come back over him and start to grind your hips again. He’s already hard enough for his cock to be raised up over his stomach, the lack of stimulation raising another deep moan from him. You reply with your hand around him, using your thumb to drag his precum down, and his lips part, toes curling at the touch on his sensitive tip. You take the hint, keeping your pumps close to the top, and he rolls up into it, moans escaping from a mouth he can’t close.

“That feel good baby?” You whisper.

“Ahuh,” is all he can get out, eyes closed, and then your tongue on his neck creates a melody of breathy moans from him. In response, Joel opens his eyes to find where to slide his fingers into, your slit already slick for him, and he moans out, “Baby,” raising his gaze to lock on yours as you pleasure each other on his lap.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, then slowly let your hand fall down to his base to grip and then pull up just as slow, starting long pumps up and down his length. Joel’s eyes close again as they roll back into his head, leaning back against your other hand still around the back of his neck.

“Joel,” you whine, and he knows what you want without you needing to tell him, moving his hands to grip your hips and help you raise them as you line up his thick cock with your entrance. You sit down on it slowly, adjusting to his size. Both of your bodies relax with each other, once again united in this way that feels so right, feels so good, and Joel starts to move like his body tells him he needs to, and then like you tell him he needs to, quiet begging that runs more chills through him despite your warmth now around him. He buries himself deep with you sat securely on his lap, fingers digging into your thighs, eyes closed, like it’s the first time again, fucking an angel gently, feeling like you were made just for him, fitting him so perfectly, your limit just around his tip.

“S’ okay baby?” He mumbles, like he does every time, the question coming out with much thought.

“Yes,” you reply, voice just as lazy, rolling your hips forward to tell him more, his body replying with anything you want as he lifts you to give him room to fuck into you. “Yes,” you repeat, sliding your hands onto his arms without a break in contact over his skin.

A refrain of moans arises from your mouths, and his eyes are locked on your open mouth. As he quickens his pace, he relishes in your expressions, furrowed brow, your shoulders and chest moving up and down as your voice carries louder, displaying your tits. He takes a hand off of your hip to massage your chest, amazed still that he gets to touch you, gets to fuck you, that he’s the one that gets to hear you, make you feel good like this, that it’s his name that comes out of you, that you want him. That he gets to give you everything you want, anything you ask him for, which is more, harder, and that you want exactly what he does. Skin slapping skin echoes throughout your house, chorused with louder moans as he thrusts harder and faster, feeling himself hit your limit over and over. You lean forward to reunite your lips, messy sucking and licking and biting, needy and hungry for each other. Joel raises his grip to your sides, stilling so that you can fuck him yourself.

“Fuck, baby, s’ good,” Joel voices, wet and mumbled, “you’re such a fuckin’ angel, such a good girl for me, pussy’s fuckin’ heavensent, I swear,”

“All for you,” you reply as you start a rhythm with your ass, “I’m yours, baby, I’m yours,” and there again is Joel’s belief in god.

“S’ good, baby, s’ good,” he mumbles, eyes closed, brow furrowed, aahing as your tight sheath strokes his cock. He splays his hands over your ass, requesting control again to match your movements with his own, fucking up into you again. “S’ good, you feel so fuckin’ good. Perfect lil’ pussy. My perfect girl. You’re so perfect, you’re so perfect.”

Your moans heighten in his ear, fingers digging into his biceps. “I’m gonna cum, Joel,” you say into his ear, voice lilting with his clapping beat.

“Yeah? Gonna cum for me?”

“Yeah,” you trill.

“Go on n’ cum for me baby, cum for me,”

Moans catch and tumble from your throat, and he wraps his arm around your back to pull you close, fitting the side of his face against your neck. His other hand still guides your ass to deepen his rowdy thrusts as he speaks, “I wanna feel all ‘f you, I wanna feel it, I wanna feel your pussy squeeze around my cock, cum for me darlin’,” Joel says, lips pressed against your neck. Your voice sings chirping moans as your body starts to tremble and you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

Only half aware of what he’s saying, overcome mostly by the feeling of you cumming on his dick, thighs quivering against his sides with your crying moans in his ear, Joel mewls, “I wanna make a baby with you, I wanna make a baby with you,” and you hang onto him like you’re on the outside of a ten story building and he’s the only thing saving you from flying off of it, like you’re hanging on for dear life, wrists crossed with both hands gripping his hair. “God, baby, you feel so good, fuck,” he whines breathily, then grabbing your ass with both hands to tug up and pull you back down on him as euphoric pressure builds inside of him, blocking out most of everything other than your pussy’s tight trembling strokes around his cock. His hips buck almost involuntarily, and he’s ready to cum, needing it, in this moment wanting nothing more. “I’m gonna cum, baby,” he tells you, feeling that white electricity of pleasure building to its climax.

“Cum for me, baby,” you breathe into his ear, fingers tugging his hair with every thrust. With your encouragement in his ear, he loses all control, now requiring you, and he wraps his hands around your lower back to hold your hips down and pump himself into you.

“I love you, I love you,” the words spill out of his lips as his hips buck, acting out of pure instinct as he cums. You pull back just enough to meet his eyes, locking his gaze as you tell him, “I love you Joel, I love you, cum inside of me, I want your cum, fuck me,” Joel’s eyes roll back with them still open, “that’s it, baby, I want it all, cum inside of me,” filling his ears as he does as you ask, as if he could do anything else, nothing else in his head but your words and the pure euphoric pleasure as he cums.

As his strokes slow and he comes back onto earth, moaning, you lean back to sit on him as he continues to pulsate inside of you.

“Baby,” you drawl, sliding your hands to cradle his face as you kiss his lips. Joel’s hands wander up and down your back and sides, relishing in the touch.

“Angel,” he replies, and you hum a sigh into the kiss.

“You’d think this would get old eventually, with how much we’re fucking doing it,” you chuckle into his lips, “but I swear, it gets better every time.”

“We’ll be fuckin’ professionals in a couple months,” he replies, making both of you laugh.

“There’s still some things we haven’t tried,” you say.

“Well we’ll get to em’.”

“We sure will.” You chuckle, smacking a kiss to his lips before leaning back. “I’m sure breakfast is ready by now. Better get up before Tommy or Maria come to check on us and catch us like this.”

“Yeah,” Joel sighs, still slipping his fingers up and down your sides. “I’m fuckin’ starvin’ now, anyways. I’m old, this shit takes it outta me.”

You chuckle, teasing, “Are you complaining?”

“Fuck no,” he replies, pulling you back in for a kiss, “hell fuckin’ no.”

“Good.” You chuckle again, sighing into a sloppy kiss before leaning back again, and with another sigh, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you more, angel.” He smiles, laughing when you slap his chest.

“Fuck off!” You laugh back, then climbing off of him to grab your shirt off the floor and pull it back on. Joel learns forward to reach for his pants, moving slow to watch you change back into your clothes. Catching him, you smirk, pulling your panties back up slowly, teasingly, for him to watch. He feels his lips part, realizing that you’re gonna have his cum leaking into them all day, like a secret just for him. A secret that’s going to tease him all day, and then when you get home tonight, he’ll slide those panties right back down to fill you up again. As you snap the band around your waist, you look at him like you know exactly what you’re doing, and exactly what he’s going to do about it later. As a cherry on top, you press a kiss to his cheek before turning around to pull your pants on. Joel chuckles to himself, shaking his head as he stands to dress.

“You gonna go to breakfast like that?” You question, turning to him.

Joel looks down at himself, realizing his still in sweatpants. “Why not? Not like anyone’s gonna care. Plenty of people go to breakfast in their pj’s. I’ll come back and change after.”

“Fair enough.” You shrug, “You look real good like that anyways.”

Joel smiles, chuckling and little shyly. This morning, the disorganization and looseness of life in Jackson felt intimidating, but now that you’re here, he can appreciate the freedom. Life is fucking good, he thinks to himself as he watches you tie your shoes, knowing he hasn’t had any thought like that in decades. Loud morning sex with you and a freshly cooked meal in his pj’s is something he can definitely learn to get used to.

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 2 days

Note

What would your headcanons be for the 141 in nursing homes? As in old ass man.

Maybe some extra characters as well? 👀

I'm splitting this up into 3 categories: Physical appearance, personality/behaviour, and overall shenanigans.

John Price

Went bald but still has a killer mustache and a ridiculous amount of body hair and yet all the hair he has left has gone grey. Is SOOO wrinkly. His eyes are hooded/droopy beyond fucking belief.

He's 100% a "Back in my day..." old man. Has def gone half-deaf. Is both a flight risk AND a fall risk but refuses to use his walker/zimmer frame. Is the first one up in the morning, before the staff even changed shifts (consequence of early rising all his life in the military)

Insists on being called 'Captain' by the staff, gives everyone the stink eye if he gets called 'John' or 'Mr.Price'. Sometimes still wakes up dreaming of Makarov and/or Shepherd and spends all day grumpy. Staff hates him.

Simon Riley

Does not go wrinkly. Instead, his skin gets taut and he loses weight and muscle, and becomes skinny/frail. Is VERY hunched over.

Has def lost most of his hearing as well. Is impossible to talk to. A conversation between him and Price spirals from a topic to the next because they misinterpret each other's words. Blasts his fave TV shows (The Price is Right) at top volume all hours of the day.

Has dementia or some other brain degenerative disease, which means he's often lost/confused... So it's not uncommon to see him walking around carrying a cane or umbrella like it's a rifle because he thinks he's still a soldier. Has scared the shit out of night staff by sneaking up behind them with a mask on (where did he get the bloody mask?) and nearly stabbing them with a syringe-like it was one of his knives.

Johnny MacTavish

Does not make it to a nursing home, he's already dead.

Kyle Garrick

Has gone grey but not that wrinkly. Still looks surprisingly good for his age. Is very charming. Wears colourful shirts (Hawaiian and not), and has a nice style... but still wears that stupid bloody hat of his. Has VERY bad hip pain from falling out of helicopters so much.

Is SOOO sweet and polite, and charms all the old ladies AND the nursing staff, every kid that comes visit other grandparents LOVES him. Is the least annoying senior at the nursing home. Also has terrible hearing. Spends his time shouting at Price and Simon to have a conversation.

Still gets taken to veteran/war remembrance days by his family and watches the parades and such... only to look at helicopters with disdain in his eyes and curses them out with a fist.

Alejandro Vargas

Has not gone grey but is a healthy salt-and-pepper. Still keeps his little stubble OR an anchor goatee. Wears glasses now, but they're those types that transition into sunglasses.

His hearing is ALSO shot. Has very shaky hands so he keeps dropping things, especially his pills. Talks crap about everyone with Rodolfo (they gossip in Spanish so no one can hear him.) Is never grumpy. Loves playing cornhole and pétanque.

Is 100% a cougar hunter. Has a silver-tongue and is still so attractive that he just seduces ALL the old ladies. Some of them were still married to their husbands (who were ALSO in the nursing home) and he STILL flirted with them.

Rodolfo Parra

Rudy has gone chubby, wears glasses, and still stays clean-shaven. Wears cardigans and corduroy trousers. Is on a wheelchair.

Is very polite. Spends his time reading in the garden, and likes tending to flowers. Loves a good gossip with Alejandro. Loves playing cards because it's the one game Alejandro cannot play, is very smug about it.

Falls asleep suddenly after meals. Hates Philip Graves with a fucking passion. Hates him so much he still wakes up dreaming about the betrayal in 2022 and gets MAD about it. Wheels himself to Alejandro's room every time and complains. "Pendejo de mierda, Graves."

#asks #moots #cod headcanons #crack headcanons #I promise it's crack #do not take this seriously #I will fill this out with the rest of them tomorrow

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eldritch-spouse · 9 months

Note

stroking and kissing Livius's horns? he is such a cute sweetheart, yandere or not

He's doing that thing again.

Ever since being brought to Envy, your attitude shifted. As is to be expected. Hell changes people, oftentimes bringing out the worst in them. You're no exception, of course. Being in Envy has made you colder, a bit more reserved, cautious and judgemental towards all. This means Livius has some catching up to do.

Because, for some reason, he always has to be as aligned to your personality and moods as he can be. You've stopped questioning why he does this, it's been a constant since the start of your odd "relationship"- Probably a disturbance born of his nature, as an incarnation of envy itself. Can't really fault him for that, can you?

Nevertheless, it means he's being a lot more studious of you recently, taking note of your every action and reaction, absorbing it all like a sponge so he can then express those demeanors himself. Most of the time, the King is subtle in his efforts, yet during some other instances -Like now- He just stands silently and stares. It's more of a glare, really.

Eerily still, your King and husband observes you place new decorations around your shared room. That's another thing he pays close attention to, the way you'll redecorate. The house is an extension of one's mind, after all. Every now and then, as you turn this way and that, you manage to steal discreet glances at Livius, and sometimes, he'll do it.

That cute little reflex you like so much.

A brief, periodic twitch of the horns.

It was quite shocking to learn that demons have many types of horns. Not all of them are hard and bony, jutting upwards like the tines of a fork. Some are droopy and curly, others are tendrils, some loop around each other, others sway around their heads, their diversity is something truly mesmerizing. And Livius just so happens to be part of a minority of demons who feature moving horns, these long prong-like protrusions with a surprising amount of flexibility. They can flip up, back, forward, even curl a little at the ends.

He'll flick them about in certain choice moments, usually according to his moods. Although, when Livius falls into deep focus the way he has now, they'll twitch about in just the cutest way. It makes your heart soar.

" Come here. " You call.

The Icon jolts, blinking repeatedly, embarassed to be caught. " H- Hm? "

" Come. " You repeat.

The demon's smile inches upwards slightly. He walks in a different way already, a more measured pace, like yours, leaning down when you beckon him to do so.

The moment they're within reach, you grasp his blue horns with both hands and edge up their length until your left hand reaches the first ring on his right horn. Livius' face twists a bit at first, like the contact is unexpected, then relaxes steadily, giggling even, when you tug slightly at the protrusions and feel the way they give slightly.

" Pray tell, what has my King so distracted? " You joke, watching as his eyes flutter to a close and his horns droop further against the sides of his sharp face.

They look almost like the floppy ears of a dog, this way.

" Hhh- Nothing, sweetums! I just spaced out, you know me. "

You really don't, but you fear no one else does either.

" Good. " You murmur, placing sweet smooches up his right horn and feeling the extremity squirm slightly in your grasp.

Livius hums, tilting his head into the touch, completely unaware of how the twin curls on itself from delight at your sweet touch.

Sometimes, you can almost pretend this is alright.

#Livius oc #yandere monster #yandere teratophilia

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bogleech · 3 months

Note

What are your favourite dragon quest monsters across the entire series?

The first Dragon Quest Monsters game I've ever gotten to play wound up being the first one to leave out exactly the top three I looked forward to getting:

GIANTSLUG/MAULUSC: I'm pickier about slug and snail creatures than you maybe expect but I love the vapid drippy zombie face of the DQ slug. It perfectly captures the appeal of a slug as a monster, a mindless gooey thing that will just eat you without a care. And its classic color scheme is that of a Banana Slug!!

BELZEBUB: I am also picky about fly creatures; usually I want them to have the proboscis present in some way, and the correct number of wings (two). There's something I still love about the toothy mouth of Belzebub however, maybe the way it curls up between the eyes? It just does a good job capturing the feel of a fly's personality I guess.

DARKEYE/EYELASHER: eye creatures can also very easily feel a bit boring to me because I've just seen so, so many of them, but DQ's basic killer eyeball appeals to me a lot with its irregular fungus-like collection of tentacles. The little root branches on "top" are especially cool to me, and sometimes they're the bottom, because they represent where the eyeball attaches to either floors or ceilings! In a few games, they're even encountered as parasites inside bigger monsters!

I used to admire the guidebook to the first two DQ Monsters games as a kid but never had the games themselves, and never got around to any other DQ titles. I just spent my whole life waiting for just the right one where I'd finally get to assemble my three favorites, then finally this new one comes out and has to be the first time these three took a vacation :( But, Dark Prince was at least nice enough to include exactly my next three favorites in the franchise. I went over them already in my DQM Dark Prince post but some people will see this post first so I will have to reintroduce them:

DROHL: droopy flappy membranous mollusk guys, honestly horrible looking in a great way. In 3d games it turns out their helmetlike head spirals in the back like a snail shell! Apparently they're meant to be troll-like beings.

LUNATICK: just a blue fleshy sac thing with gooey antennae, a bunch of tentacles (most of them segmented like worms!) and a little eyeball, perfect, no criticisms, also reminds me of what Berserk considers an "Incubus:"

(Don't worry, Berserk Incubus aren't sex monsters but monsters that give you nightmares and feed on the fear)

TAILEATER/MAD MOLLUSK: I love how pathetic their front face looks, and the whole shape is so pleasantly reminiscent of an abyssal sea cucumber of some kind.

SKULLROO/GUAARDVARK: I didn't even realize this was one of my top favorites until getting it in Dark Prince. It's an unpleasant wrinkly fat aardvark kangaroo thing that just always carries a human skull around. Its profile says they collect them and the one they carry is their favorite! A lot of slightly lower favorites were also left out however, none of these are in Dark Prince but are very high up there to me:

PYURO: what is this thing? I don't know! Different games have categorized it as an insect or a plant. It's a furball with five eyes encircling a butterfly proboscis, two little legs and a big huge ring of flower petals behind it. Very xenobiology.

TONGUELLA: it's kinda like a dumpy, hairless sloth with an aardvark tail with a mushed-in dog face and a giant gross tongue. I guess I just like foul moist beasts. I wish this was a real mammal we had in the world, I bet it'd smell terrible. Feels like a perfect counterpart to Guaardvark.

SLURPERON: it's one tiny pitcher plant with a giant tongue and then it has cool reptilian eyes at the bottom end. So simple and so rad! A fun way to stylize a pitcher plant monster without ripping off Victreebel.

SICKLER: is a little tiny mantis in a robe, like the Tonberry from Final Fantasy but a mantis

RAGIN' CONTAGION: a newer one, a gooey vaporous cyclops ghost that represents disease. In its first appearance as a boss in the series the English localizers decided it should talk like Yosemite Sam. Sure why not!

So I like the new game and it gave me some new favorites like Skellyfish and new appreciation for some others, but oddly it only has my very middle all-time faves

#dragon quest

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hischeapcigar · 10 months

Text

You don't go to parties anymore

Modern Eddie Munson x ex reader

Summary: Eddie keeps looking for you in his parties

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: angst, mentions of drugs, drunk eddie, curse words, small reference to smut (if you squint)

a/n: this was inspired by the song stuck in my head, “you don't go to parties” by 5sos and obviously i had to do something about it lol. Reblog and comments are appreciated <3 also comment if you want to be tagged in eddie one shots in future. Mwah

Another Friday night, another party. Like a routine, like a spiral. Eddie Munson, big doe eyes were hidden by the bags under his eyes. Hair messed up like he fought a monster. And his well known smile, that everybody was attracted to like a moth to light, was gone with the wind, gone with you.

He doesn't remember when was the last time he slept through the night. He stays up, drinking, distracting him with different things, or parties on friday nights.

Why did he keep throwing these parties every week? He wasn’t sure. But his eyes keep searching for that familiar pair of eyes, those pretty eyes, your eyes.

It was 5 am Saturday morning, and Eddie's apartment was crowded with every person he knew, while he laid on the sofa, drunk. Sweaty bodies are dancing, people are still drinking in the corner while some are passed out on the floor in front of him.

He eyes them carefully, everyone, there’s Nancy and Robin talking about something, Steve is drunk dancing with this blonde girl he can’t remember the name of.

It's 5:00 a.m. clinging to my couch

And everyone I ever knew is standing in my house

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

“Eddie! It was my turn,” you whined as you reached out, snatching the joint from his lips. He chuckled as he watched you bring it to your lips, taking a deep breath. To say he adored you was an understatement.

You both lied, on your backs, in his bed, taking turns smoking the joint. It was midnight and you had snuck out of your house to jump in Eddie’s car. Now you both were here, spread out on Eddie's bed, smoke surrounding you.

He turned to face you and draped his arm lazily around you pulling you flush against him,

“You’ve had enough, baby,” he whispers, gently taking the joint from your fingers and slightly getting up to smash the butt of the cigarette in the ashtray.

“I can handle, eds” your voice was dreamy, low and distant. Your mind was in higher clouds, the ceiling was your window to the galaxy as you watched the shooting stars.

He hummed, pressing his lips to your jaw. Eyes droopy, you both faced the ceiling, sides pressed to each other, hallucinating a whole new world until you passed out.

I still think about the times we were heavy

Racehorse tripping on the dirt that you got on me

Vultures spinning up above for what's left of me

We go stupid every night, what a tragedy

Eddie’s mind started to darken with each passing minute, as every memory of you haunted his brain. He felt a pang in his heart, begging and praying to see you one more time. Just one more time.

He looked at every corner of his house where he fucked you relentlessly, he looked at the balcony where you stood up all night to watch the sunrise together,

His lips started to tremble at the surge of memories, each one hitting him close to home. His mind was foggy, he was losing it. Like he always did everytime he let his mind wander to you, always back to you.

I'm still here in the darkness

Back where we started

You make me a heartless monster

I'm caught up in distractions

Fatal attractions

I'm starting to come undone

A part of him wanted to kick everyone out, he was tired, the voices in his mind too loud. He glanced, once again, at the bodies, hoping that you were there, hoping he overlooked your figure the first time.

And now it's 5:00 a.m. clinging to my couch

And everyone I ever knew is standing in my house

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

His eyes zeroed at the girl, whose back resembles yours. He stood up abruptly, seeing stars immediately, he shook his head to focus. Stumbling, he made his way to her. A bottle of wine clutched in his hand tightly.

He tapped her shoulder,

I'll talk to y/n. I’ll make it okay, we’ll be fine, this is it. I’m sorry y/n, give me one more chance, give us one more chance.

She turned around, and his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of a random person. She wasn’t you. Of course you wouldn’t be here

He nodded and smiled, or tried to, before he raised his bottle to her. She politely shook her head ‘no’.

A string of curses left his mouth as he shifted his weight and leaned on the wall on the side. The girl immediately shifted her attention from her friends to him.

“Hey, are you doing well?” she asked, obviously interested

“Hmm” he nodded, bring the mouth of the bottle to his lips, taking a swig

“You know i, uh, recently broke up with the most beautiful girl ever,” he slurred

She looked taken aback, she didn’t expect this. Anything but this.

“We, uh, were together for 5 years,” his pitch went high for the last part that he uttered

“I thought you were her, but you can never be her” he chuckled, shaking his head, gulping the wine.

“Excuse me?” she was furious,

“Yeah… y/n…y/n was the best part of my life” his bloodshot eyes were distant as if mentally he’s still in the memory

“She used to make me laugh on my worst days and-” his words fell short as he saw the woman had gone away.

He shook his head, he really was losing it

I got the last five years running out my mouth

Always stay too late, I should kick me out

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

“Watch your words, Munson” you threatened, your voice shook despite the efforts of keeping it strong

“I’m fucking done, y/n, i can’t do this, you want too much” his voice raised slightly

“Too much? Asking for your fucking time is ‘too much’? You elevated your pitch to match his

Another day, another argument, like a routine, like a spiral. y/n’s big pretty eyes with tears swimming at the edge, dangerously close to falling.

“I think it's time to put an end to this relationship,” eddie stated, devoid of any emotion

And there came all your tears, pouring on your cheeks as the words rang in your ears.

You wanted to reach out to him, hold him, tell him you’ll make it through together, that this is just a rough patch.

But you stood there still as you watched him walk out the door.

He covered his ears with his hands as he headed for the balcony, running away from the bodies, from the loud music, from himself. His own last words to you haunting his mind, he wanted to scream to silence everything.

He spotted Argyle and Jonathan being only physically here, their minds wandered off when they sniffed the powder. He walked up to them, seating himself beside them, reaching for the pills and crushing them on the table.

Lost my limit 'cause I'm dumb and I'm passionate

Took my foot off of the break, it's not an accident

All my friends are up on Mars, we've been traveling

Another lonely night

“In time we’ll build a home for two” Eddie blurted out as you both hiked up the small hill.

“Eddie! You’re being-” your breaths were ragged

“You can tell me i’m being corny, but it still won’t make me sorry,” he cut you off, grinning widely as he looked at you, nothing but admiration in his eyes

“Don’t you think about our future?” he wondered out loud,

“Of course, i do, all the time” you think about the nights where you think about two of you when you can't sleep

“Yeah but i have a feeling you’ll have enough of my dramatic ass and leave me,” he teased

You glared at him. You both knew you hated whenever he brought up ‘you leaving him’ because you loved him too much to choose something else over him.

Ironic. How fucking ironic.

He glanced back at the crowd which had shrunken. He scanned the room from the balcony once more before he let the powder get a hold of his mind

And now it's 5:00 a.m. clinging to my couch

And everyone I ever knew is standing in my house

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

The sun had started to rise, the sky displaying beautiful colors. He smiled at the scenery, remembering how you used to get lost in the beauty of it all.

“y/n used to love it so much,” he revealed to the boys beside him, but they were too high to listen to him. That didn’t stop him, only encouraged him

They’re not listening, I'll pretend they are

And so he did. He rambled on and on about you. Anything he could remember about your relation, he voiced it, good or bad.

He kept talking and sniffing the powder.

Again

Then again

And once more

Until he blacks out.

He doesn’t remember anything except the sky burning auburn, cocaine powder all over the table, your voice in head and then-

He opened his eyes, vision still blurry as he tried to get up. His hand reaching on the other side of the bed, seeking your warmth, like a habit. He winced at the coldness that resided there.

He was in his room, in the same clothes as last night.

His head hurt so bad like someone banged his head against the wall. He tried to get out of the bed when he saw Steve entering the room with a glass of water in his hand.

“You gotta pick yourself up buddy,” steve said

“I-” his voice was hoarse, mouth dry.

Steve handed him the glass, which he gulped like a thirsty man in the desert. Steve took a seat beside him, legs dangling.

“It was worse this time, eddie” steve tried to get his attention,

Eddie’s gaze was stuck at his door,

Maybe you’d enter, laughing. Maybe you decided to return to him. Maybe just maybe he could have a second chance. Maybe this was all a bad dream,

Steve’s voice pulled him from his daydreams,

“your nose was bleeding, man, you gotta sober up, just try and get over her”

In a beat, he replied, “i don't want to get over her, Steve”

You

Just the mention of you has him talking. Talking non stop about what you two were, what you two could have been

I got the last five years running out my mouth

Always stay too late, I should kick me out

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

His chatter was cut short when Steve’s phone rang, which he attended walking out the door.

Eddie was left alone with his thoughts. He turned and extended his hand to get a hold of his phone.

Once in his grip, he opened your chat, re-reading the countless texts he sent you.

“Please come home” he sent one more, like every other day.

Eddie put the phone away as he saw Steve approaching him with his phone extended to Eddie, “its y/n”

Eddie couldn't believe his ears, or eyes or anything, he wasn't registering the situation. He scrambled on the bed, practically leaping out to meet steve’s phone half way, as he practically snatch it and placed it on his ears,

“y/n?” his voice was shaky, his body was trembling

“Eddie?”

Oh, I wonder who I'm looking for

'Cause you don't go to parties anymore

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irisintheafterglow · 10 months

Text

Rock and Roll, Buckaroo! (Bakusquad x you)

summary: you go on a ghost tour with the bakusquad - 1.3k words

cw: so much yelling, cliche paranormal activity (flickering lights, footsteps, etc), lots of profanity thanks bakugo, the bakusquad shares a single brain cell and most of the time you have it

note: so i wrote this instead of working on stuff for hawks and gojo but don't worry they're on their way i promise <3 i offer you this halloween in july fic instead inspired by buzzfeed unsolved and my visit to the whaley house a few months back.

likes/reblogs/feedback is always appreciated!!!

“I’ll be honest, Mina, I don’t think Doja is the vibe for rolling up to a haunted house.”

“Passenger seat gets AUX, Sero, so you’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

“Why the fuck does the driver not get AUX–”

“Because your music has an even worse vibe than Mina’s, Bakubro.”

“Tch, whatever. Just be glad I’m driving your dumbasses or else you’d be stuck with Denki’s passive ass in the driver’s seat.”

“I am a safe driver! Safer than Bakugo at least…”

“OI–” The car erupts into chaos as Bakugo tries to blast Denki, who was sitting directly behind the driver’s seat while Mina throws herself over the wheel to avoid veering into oncoming traffic. Denki screams in terror, reaching across Jiro for Kirishima, who was trying to push back Bakugo’s sparking hand. You put your head in your hands as Sero starts viciously kicking Denki’s seat from the third row. Why Sero thought it would be a good idea to send a TikTok about the most haunted places in the country to the group chat suggesting a visit to one right outside the city, you had no idea. What perplexes you, even more, is that Bakugo had been the first one to agree, followed by you and Kirishima, then Mina and Jiro, and finally a reluctant Denki.

“Bakugo! The parking lot!” Jiro screams from the middle row. In between his pleas for Bakugo’s mercy, Denki yells out final directions.

“You have to turn right now!” Bakugo throws the wheel to the side and swerves a violent right turn, hurtling Sero into your shoulder. Sero rights himself and takes in the surrounding modern-looking office complex with confusion.

“That was the wrong exit!”

“No fucking shit! Denki, you said to turn right!”

“I meant left right at that moment, dude!”

“YOU-”

“Bakubro, remember your morals!”

Ten minutes later, after several more attempts at homicide by Bakugo’s hands, you were standing at the steps of the ancient-looking house as the tour guide introduced the history of the hauntings to your group and others unfortunate enough to have booked a tour at the same time.

“You guys scared?” Mina whispers to you, linking her elbow to yours with a smile.

Jiro scoffed from your other side, and you shook your head in agreement. “As if,” you reply, straining to listen to the guide’s instructions.

“Take care, dear visitors, for certain things may go BUMP,” he says, stamping his cane on the porch and making Denki yelp. “And beware of the spirits of the family that are determined to make visitors acknowledge them, skeptical or not.” The guide points his cane at Kirishima, who runs a hand through his hair, chuckling nervously. The guide stares into Kirishima’s eyes for a few moments more and then abruptly turns around to open the doors, causing snickers among your friends.

“Enter, dear visitors, if you dare.”

The guide leads the group through the foyer, the kitchen, the living area, and the upstairs bedrooms. The house was filled with beautifully ornate furniture and well-preserved artifacts from centuries past caked with layers of dust.

Not that your friends cared about all that.

Sero had his phone out, recording from the moment you had stepped through the entryway and insistent upon catching paranormal activity. You took photos of Mina and Jiro posing next to the portraits of the Ladies of the House, their eyebrows drawn together and eyelids droopy to match the paintings’ solemn expressions. Bakugo, surprisingly, was fascinated by the grim history of the house and would shush your group if they started getting too loud that he couldn’t hear the guide. Kirishima stuck close to Bakugo and Denki, jokingly commenting on whether the actions of the men in the house were manly or not to hide his unease.

The tour ended at the head of the house’s office before exiting out the backyard gate, and your friends lingered to take a photo in an antique full-body mirror. The temperature seemed to have dropped significantly, and Sero’s phone battery drained immediately after taking the mirror photo.

“Man… I swear this thing had, like, 80% power when we got here.” He knocked his hand a few times against the edge of the phone to no avail, the no-battery symbol flashing mockingly at him.

“Maybe it’s ‘cause you were recording unnecessary shit this entire time. Coulda just asked me for a fuckin’ summary afterward.”

You laughed at Bakugo’s commitment to the tour. “You’re just grumpy that we dragged you into a group mirror photo, Kats.”

“Alright, now that my hands are free, do you think that if I drew a pentagram on the floor that I’d summon a demon?” Sero waggled his eyebrows and Jiro scoffed at his casual reference to getting possessed.

“Maybe if you sat on it. Or laid on it, like that tall guy on YouTube.”

“Nah, man, I don’t mess around with that shit. Don’t be trying that stuff if I’m near you.”

“Do you actually believe in ghosts? That’s why you’re scared of them?”

“Not scared… just not interested in getting my body taken over. It’d suck big time.”

“Mina, what the fuck are you looking at that’s so funny?” The pink-haired hero was pointing to a small, faded image of one of the family’s sons that had died of some disease.

“Ha, look at this guy that looks like Bakugo, Jiro. Jiro?” Mina’s voice trails off, looking back at Jiro, who was tensely staring at the ceiling of the house. Her eyes track the perimeter of where the office walls meet the ceiling, face taut with concentration. The others don’t notice until she quietly sticks one of her earphone jacks into the ceiling and gasps, a hand flying up to cover her mouth.

Bakugo’s focus shoots to Jiro, immediately on alert. “Yo, Ears, are you good?”

“There are… footsteps. Upstairs. Sounds like two people walking around.”

Kirishima loses a little bit of color on his face. “That could be just another tour, right?”

“No, no, no. The guide said we were on the last tour of the night.” Mina’s eyes are wide with concern and she puts out her hands as if to calm down the escalating fear of the group. “What if it’s the guy that I said looked like Katsuki?” Bakugo snarls, on the verge of biting Mina’s pointing finger off.

“Okay, no, it’s probably cleaning people.” Kirishima glances at the exit door leading to the outside, but you all seem to be frozen where you stand.

Sero’s eyes sparkle from behind his dead phone camera. “Yeah, ghost cleaning people.” Chills run down your spine, and you shiver at the dropping temperature. Kirishima opens his mouth to counter Sero’s suggestion but is cut off by Bakugo’s harsh tone.

“Stop it, Denki,” he suddenly snaps.

Denki’s face twists in confusion. “My bad?”

“Dude, I said stop it.”

“I’m not doing anything!”

Scowling at Denki, Bakugo points aggressively to the ceiling light that had started flickering after Jiro’s gasp.

“That’s…not me…”

“Guys? You see that, right?”

You turn towards Kirishima, who has moved to the doorway of the office that leads to the rest of the house. His eyes are the size of pool balls and his face is completely devoid of color. As you carefully gather around the doorway of the office to see what he’s looking at, pure horror courses through your entire body as you take in two pairs of eyes peering back at your friends from the top of the stairs. They were undeniably eyes, and you stare at them until one of them blinks and they both start to descend the stairs.

Right towards your friends.

Your group explodes into unbelievably loud shrieks of horror and shouted expletives as you high-tail it out the door, Kirishima having just enough sense to knock down Bakugo’s hand before he fires a shot at the stairs and gets you all sued for property damage.

Days later, Sero frames a copy of the mirror photo you all had taken in the office, and upon closer inspection of the photo, you discover two figures standing in the doorway behind you and your smiling friends.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha x y/n #bakusquad #denki kaminari #mina ashido #kirishima eijiro #bakusquad x reader #bakugou katsuki #sero hanta #kyoko jirou #mha crack #bnha #mha #bnha crack #halloween

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blackopals-world · 1 year

Note

Hi! I saw the latest post about the headcanons about yuumaid au! But can you please do the same headcanon but this time, fem s/o is a charwoman and she's extremely shy and timid. Please 🙏

I'm not sure what this request means and it didn't name characters I'm choosing whoever my wheel lands on. (Mostly because is late and I'm tired. A little note I dont use s/o when i write because i dont use first person. I don't do any self insert writing. If you see yourself as Yuu then I welcome you to do so because they can be whoever you desire.)

Timid Maid!FemYuu x Jamil Viper, and Jack Howl, Epel Felmier

(The wheel has spoken)

Jamil- Mousy

She wasn't a new worker. She was hired by the Al Asim family to ease his burden of taking care of Kalim. She comes a few times of week to do chores that were lagging.

Jamil was suspicious of her and banned her from cooking meals. She didn't fuss and nodded quickly before scurrying off.

Jamil was unsure Kalim even knew she existed because of how quiet she was and how rare spotting her was. When Jamil gave her orders she'd stare at her feet and nod.

When Jamil got close she'd tremble like a mouse. He found it so adorable the way she'd look at him with tearful eyes when she was scared. She even squeaked when he pulled her close after hunting for her around the palace.

She was to cute to not tease.

He'd find her in whatever corner she worked in and give her tasks that forced her out in the open. The mouse girl hated being watched or having Kalim see her and pull her into festivities. Jamil even played the good guy and pulled her away to do something that allowed her to be alone.

Yuu was definitely his favorite form of entertainment.

Jack Howl- Little Lamb

The prince of the Kingscholar family needed to be cared for. So she was hired to do so. But whyshould a lamb like her have to do this.

Leona was well, scary. Savanaclaw was scary too.

Loud, noisy, and nosy predators. She didn't like predators. They pull her tail and her fluff. They made fun of her all the time and are just really mean.

She hadn't known that she was being watched by a wolf. A very protective wolf.

Jack drove away any beast who tried to harass the lamb. Not because he liked her or anything. I just hated bullies.

He didn't mean to spy on her of course. It happened on accident. When he first layed eyes on her he was drawn to her fluffy wool and droopy ears. He just wanted to touch, he didn't mean to scare her. He Larned to keep his distance but he couldn't help pay attention when he heard the bell that hung at her neck jingle as she cleaned.

He worked up the courage to befriend her which was difficult because she was always watching everything around her with her doe like eyes. Lambs don't trust wolves and they don't make a habit of befriending them.

But trust can be won. The more a lamb strays from the crowd, the more likely they will get picked up by the wolf.

Epel Felmier- Sweet Magnolia

Grandma said she needed help around the house and farm so she brought a girl around. She was a daughter of a distant family friend who would come by to help.

She was a quiet little thing and barely strayed where you could see her. The only time you'd know she was around was from the clean space she'd left behind.

She could cook too but she never showed her face during dinner.

A few of Epel's cousins came by and said they saw her a few times at the river writing and she was as pretty as a peach. The cousins tried to talk to her and she just skittered away soon as they saw her.

They even mentioned going and ask'n her pa to let her court her for her hand, she was so pretty.

Epel had seen her a handful and would admit she was as rosy cheeked as a bush. But she was also as timid as a rabbit. No one but Grandma was able to get close. She was elusive and Epel was only able to catch up if he was on horseback.

He met her by that same river when he was leading his horse to water. They were separated only by different banks as his favorite mare Sugarcane waded into the water. For whatever reason the mare was really interested in whatever the maid girl had and she saddled up next to her to nip at what she was eating.

The maid was eating a sandwich out of her picnic basket as the nosy horse began trying to rifle though her lunch.

Epel had to charge across the river to grab the old nag before she caused too many problems.

The girl laughed as he scolded the horse and offered up her last slice of pie she had been saving to the boy before packing up and going on her way.

His cousins where right. That wallflower. Well she was pretty as a magnolia in May.

(magnolias actually do bloom in May and are my favorite flowers)

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper #twisted wonderland jamil #jamil viper x reader #twst jamil #jack howl x reader #twst jack x reader #jack howl #epel felmier #epel twisted wonderland #epel x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #twst mc #twst yuu #maid!yuu

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orphicdazai · 1 year

Text

strangers in the night | mafia!dazai x fem!reader

❛𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦❜

mafia!dazai x fem!reader. slight angst. lots of fluff. both dazai and reader are 17 here. underage drinking. mentions of depressive thoughts. it's actually pretty long. my first time publishing something like this oop. i have a one shot book fully dedicated to dazai on wattpad! check it out!

also read this with Frank Sinatra's "strangers in the night" for a better experience!

USELESS.

Dazai's existence was absolutely useless.

He never once considered his own life to have any significance or value for him being deemed worthy at any point of his life. How could he when all he experienced was suffering and trauma. He was weak. The weak fear happiness itself. They harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness.

That's why he was so afraid to feel any happiness. He knew he'd get some kind of disappointment sooner or later and that short and small spark of joy will turn out irrelevant and useless.

Dazai's throat burned due to the sake which was poorly held by his bandaged hand, his baggy, red eyes narrowed and just kept looking down to the glass, his depressive thoughts consuming him as per usual. If you actually took a look into his brown eyes, you'd see nothingness itself staring right back at you. Nihilism. Emptiness. Uncertainty. Hopelessness.

His body was usually cold as well and very malnourished at times as he only drank himself to sleep and never seemed to care about his outer appearance at all. It was all irrelevant. As long as he was present at the mafia to do his work, nothing else mattered.

The mafia was the only thing that gave him some type of purpose. If he could call that.

He seemed to be motivated a year ago when he first joined but now... he wasn't sure anymore. He felt stuck.

The young boy was at his lowest point in life. As if he hadn't been through enough already. That his life was capable to go downhill even more wasn't something he ever thought was possible.

Breathing no longer felt like a common thing for him. It was a chore at this point. Everything was. Getting up in the morning especially was very disappointing. Dying while he had finally managed to sleep sounded the most pleasant and painless way to die. But he kept meeting his ceiling every morning, being able to sense and feel his futon underneath him and wrapped around his thin body. He'd smell the alcohol from the bottles scattered around him. He'd have to hear the cars and busy people slide through his ears. And he'd taste the bitterness of not caring to brush his teeth properly every day.

It was the same thing every time.

He wanted everything to stop.

He wanted nothing.

Sir?

Why can't he just disappear?

Sir? Hello?

Why does he have to exist?

"Sir!"

Dazai abruptly awoke from his small dozing off with tired eyes and saw how the bartender of his favourite bar stared at him in pity, his hands cleaning the glass that was now removed from his rough hand. He exhaled through his nose and crossed his arms to lay his head on them for a second, a groan leaving him.

His head hurt.

Inhaling very deeply he stood up and wrapped his dark coat over his shoulders and exchanged goodbyes with the other man, catching onto his body language that the bar was closing and that he should leave. The handsome boy ruffled his hair exhaustedly as he opened the door to exit the bar as the red neon light of the logo illuminated the left side of his face.

Thud, thud, thud.

Someone bumped his shoulder as he turned to his left, not being bothered at all since he felt slightly numb all over and had his head elsewhere for him to register anything.

"Oh I'm sorry."

His head turned slightly to the right, all droopy and empty.

There was you, a young student who had to run errands and just was about to return home and you always did so by walking through this alleyway where the bar was. You stopped in your tracks and locked eyes with the stranger.

You couldn't help but notice how malnourished he looked, hair all unkempt, reeking badly of alcohol. Scrunching your nose at the stench, you took in the rest of his appearance. He was young, handsome but yet so... empty. The way he stared at you with his right eye covered by a bandage - in fact his neck and hands were covered by them too - his gaze on you was brief yet delivered so many things all at once.

Nothingness. Hopelessness. Exhaustion.

He had not said a word after you had apologised and just slowly turned around, his focus on the ground as he didn't want to be a burden to some random stranger like he always was. He was a burden. A heavy rock that just wouldn't leave his close ones' lives.

"Wait."

Dazai ceased his steps and just stood there, his long black coat that Mori gave him swaying a bit when he halted, never turning around still.

You sighed as you began to stride over to him before you were right next to him, slowly and gently making yourself present so you wouldn't overwhelm him. Dazai's eyes moved to your face again, this time having a much better view of your soft features, his eyes unconsciously analysing you as he did with everyone. His brain was always working, even when he wasn't sober.

"What are you doing here, drinking until you can't think?" you asked suddenly, a slight frown on your brows, sensing a new found urge to check up on this random stranger's well being.

You were always like that.

A bright person, who would always make sure that people were okay, that they were happy, taking them into your precious time to give them what they deserved. It's just who you were. You were practically molded to behave this way, you just couldn't help it.

When you saw the stranger's terrible state, you couldn't help but let your empathetic nature take over you.

Dazai, who was still drunk and felt his head getting pierced repeatedly from all the alcohol, not being able to think properly, parted his lips to say something, but didn't yet. His eyes lazily and exhaustedly watched your face, blinking and raising his brows to bring himself to do literally anything.

He was able to form a thought in his so fogged and messed up mind. He thought that you were only wasting your time on him and shouldn't care about him like this. He wished you'd go away.

"'Am tired... that's why," he finally uttered with a slight raspy tone. His voice was smooth and pleasant to hear, it made you calm down immediately for some reason, like honey would calm down a sore throat. His answer was short, his breath stinking of sake to which you dipped your head back a bit, still not trying to seem rude.

It took you a moment to understand at what he meant with 'tired'. It wasn't just him wanting to sleep. No. It was something way deeper than that. He was tired of lots of things, things that may have plagued his mind and he wanted an escape.

You didn't think about it any further as you didn't want to jump to any conclusions and it was none of your business. He's a stranger after all. With a small nod, you shifted on your feet a bit, your hands at your back, standing with a straight posture - a contrast to Dazai's, who was a bit slouched, legs a bit unstable from being so intoxicated.

"I see. You seem quite unstable... do you..." you spoke carefully, the words rolling off your tongue in a gentle manner as you trailed your eyes along his tall frame, "do you want me to help you?"

The brunette didn't say anything for a while. Again, he was reacting delayed, his dark eyes focusing and refocusing while he breathed out of his mouth in a laboured way. This shitty feeling was eating him up at the moment. Yes, he wanted your help. Yes, he needed company but-

"No. I'm fine..." he answered instead, being hesitant about his reply but settled for it. He didn't want to be a burden, that's what he kept telling himself the whole time. Dazai shut his eyes as he held in an unconscious breath before releasing it and licked his dry and chapped lips, tasting the sake again on them.

"I'm... fine," he repeated, though for more to himself than to you.

A big sigh left you at that and looked down once before you stared back at him, who had his attention to the ground now. "You're clearly not,"

Dazai heaved a bit of an agitated sigh at your words, turning his head to you once more, "Look, I appreciate your help but I already told you. I'm fine. I've handled this by myself many times," he gave a sigh of his own, beginning to move his limbs so he could walk.

But before he could, you immediately gripped his arm, halting him again and caused him to look at you with an irritated expression on his face, although there was another emotion that was hidden deep under that shell of his irritation. There was a pleading glow in his eyes, it was very very subtle which you weren't able to see. He wanted to leave. Dazai didn't want to stay here with your (e/c) eyes staring at him like that.

Please leave me alone. Please- just don't look at me like that.

He begged internally but he knew the instant you had that firm grasp on his arm, you had already made up your mind. The mafioso couldn't do anything about it, you had him under your grasp - metaphorically and literally.

At his reply, you breathed out through your nose and formed a small smile, your gaze never lifting off of his face, removing your hand from his arm and stood directly in front of him, face merely a few inches away from his own. The sake breath was now much stronger as it was hitting your face while you took in his features a bit more, finding him so pretty under the moonlight.

"How about this: I will take you to my place and I'll nourish you for a bit, take you to a lovely place where I always hang out when I feel down and take care of you. Physically and mentally. Does that sound good?" you offered, having leaned back to give him more space and intertwined your own fingers behind your back, anticipating his answer, regardless if he said yes or no.

You didn't know why you were so adamant to help this young boy out, but something inside you said that it was the right thing. That he needed this badly, this plan of yours.

Dazai just stared with a slightly surprised face. He was speechless for a moment. The brunette thought he misheard you. What? Nourish him? Take him somewhere lovely? This had to be a joke. What were you thinking? Did he seem that approachable to you at the moment? What did you even like about him, in this ugly state of his?

As he didn't reply yet again, you let out a huff and became a bit impatient. "If you let me do that, I swear I'll leave you alone afterwards. I promise. Just let me take care of you," you spoke, minimal desperation lingering in your tone. You yourself didn't understand your own actions.

The boy opposite you inhaled deeply, a bitter expression on him before he shut his eyes once more and opening them again, "Fine," he breathed out, eyes and the rest of his face softening.

He couldn't help it. Not when you stared at him like that with your (e/c) eyes. He let his inner desires get the best of him, to escape this agonising loneliness for a while.

It wasn't like he was unfamiliar with women wanting to spend time with him after a few drinks at the bar Lupin. He was a well known catch for the ladies and he loved them just as much. Dazai was a natural flirt, natural smooth talker that would get any woman or girl fall to her knees for him. He had that talent in him. And he used it for his own selfish needs or other things. For information or manipulation if needed.

But what he found in your eyes wasn't something lustful. It was actual care and concern swimming in them. You genuinely wanted to treat his terrible state, you actually cared about him.

No woman or girl had ever done this before. He didn't know how to feel about it. Should he be glad? Scared? He simply didn't know.

So after he agreed, you began to head to your place which wasn't far from the bar. As mentioned earlier, you'd always take this route through the alleyway as a shortcut and you would normally take it if you ran for errands.

"What's your name, by the way?" you turned your head as you two walked slowly, since the stranger was still somewhat unstable with his footing.

He turned to you, being ripped off of his thoughts and managed to smile a bit, which you thought was absolutely beautiful.

"Dazai."

He simply answered, no need to say anything else.

You nodded at that and smiled a bit wider as you kept staring at him. "It's nice to meet you, Dazai. I'm (Y/n)," you said politely, his arm occasionally brushing against yours the further your legs moved.

The young man gave you another faint smile of his which you just had to catch a glimpse of and then silently followed you to your home. He didn't have to say anything further as you knew he wasn't exactly in the mood to speak that well. Dazai would sometimes drag his feet forwards, his body losing balance to which you would immediately catch him and keep him up straight.

"Thanks," he'd mutter, absolutely indifferent at this point and not embarrassed since he'd been in situations such as these before. Being touched by a girl, feeling comfortable in her embrace.

"Don't mention it," you'd softly say back with a small smile, the cool air of the night subtly hitting your skins, swaying your hair gently. There weren't many people around where you lived, so you two wouldn't be bothered or interrupted by anyone as you calmly kept walking.

About ten minutes later you'd arrive at the familar neighborhood you grew up in and went up the small stairs that led to your front door and unlocked the keys. Your apartment was relatively tall and average looking to Dazai, who would wander around his eyes in much interest and absentmindedness, his hands in his pockets. The names of your neighbours and the buttons for the bell were plastered on your left side in the booth-like entrance. He'd memorise every name by skimming over them with one pointed look of his, just out of boredom.

You entered the lobby and walked over to the elevator and pressed the button which glowed red around the edges in a circle as Dazai stood next to you, having begun to look better since he took some fresh air. His brown eye wasn't so tired and unfocused anymore but he still felt the strong effects of the alcohol in his system, his head hurting a bit.

Glancing to your left side a bit, you got a short view of his side profile which consisted of a sharp jawline, a perfect nose, soft yet chapped lips and that bandage wrapped around his head to hide his right eye. He was very handsome, you realised again. His hair looked sweaty yet you wanted to run your fingers through them. His mere presence looked so inviting, which was probably the reason why you offered him all of this the first place most likely. But you genuinely wanted him to feel better. He needed it.

Upon the elevator making a 'ding' noise and opening its doors, you both entered and you chose to break the silence. "Dazai, how old are you?"

His eyes found yours again as you two settled in the elevator and then looked ahead of him, shrugging his shoulders before he answered, "Seventeen. You?" the brunette moved his head so it was focused on your direction again while you had pressed the floor number for the elevator to take you upwards.

You looked back at him and smiled timidly, "Me too,"

His face seemed to look even better under the elevator lights, making you see his red cheeks from the alcohol, the shade of his brown eye shining a bit more which made your heart skip a beat. You immediately broke your eyes away from him and fixed your attention to your feet, the mirror beside you, the digital number that went higher the higher the elevator went - anything except his eyes.

What was wrong with you? He's a stranger. Sure you'll be spending time with him but you guys just met.

Still having a rather hazy mind, Dazai's gaze lingered on you, trailing it down your shorter figure and closed his parted lips before turning his head back to his front. A small micro-expression of smugness was evident on his face in a lazy way when his tiredness took over again and his face fell back to indifference.

Cute.

When you reached your floor level, you exited the elevator and went to your door, unlocking it and lead him inside as you two removed your shoes.

Immediately, Dazai would dart his eyes around your place, having noticed other used shoes - female and male - which indicated that you didn't live alone and with your parents in full picture. He seemed glad for you. Someone as sweet as you deserved that. A roof above your head, decent clothes and a family that cared about you and loved you. Then he'd take notice of your place in general. The wallpaper, the aesthetic of it all, pictures, decorations, clothes or items lying around or hung at places. Your house's scent was pleasant. It smelled like fresh coffee beans, even being able to sniff out some laundry that had been recently done. Dazai immediately felt cozy by just standing at your apartment door in those ten seconds alone.

"Welcome to my home. Make yourself comfortable," you said with a polite grin and began to head inside more, guiding him to the living room. Your eyes threw him a short glance as you ran your hand through your (h/c) locks.

"You can remove your coat, you know?" you said, having seen his black coat hanging on his shoulders the whole time, him still being in a somewhat daze.

Upon hearing your words, he blinked, words a bit stuck in his throat as he felt a bit caught off guard. He gave you a nod, slowly grabbing his coat and slid it off of him.

You suppressed a giggle at his expression, finding it a bit amusing. As he had removed his coat, you came closer to him and gently took it from his hands, moving your head up a bit because of your height difference, heart fluttering a bit at that fact as you plastered a small smile. "Let me take that. You go sit on the couch and relax,"

Dazai returned your smile and shook his head in agreement, "Alright. Thank you," he said before he went to the couch and sat down, a quiet groan leaving him at how exhausted he was and only realised how sore his muscles actually were. From stress, his mental condition and his job at the Port Mafia. He leaned against the soft couch and threw his head back, letting out a relaxed sigh with closed eyes.

You had hung his coat next to all other jackets your family owned and then returned to your room, taking a fresh towel with you from your closet and then entered the living room again. When you saw Dazai sitting on the couch that way, a small blush crept up on your cheeks as you found it very attractive. He looked super good in that white button up shirt and that black vest with a matching tie, appearing professional and sophisticated. You cleared your throat at the thought with a frown and then went to stand next to the couch.

"What's up?" Dazai suddenly spoke, his eyes never opening.

Biting your lip at his intruiging yet attractive behavior, you found the words in your mouth and began to speak. "Would you like some water? You know, to sober up a bit,"

The brunette opened his eyes again before fixing them to you, a small smile displaying his lips and straightened his head again, his arms laid on the top of the back pillows. He had a certain glint to his visible eye which you couldn't place your finger on, but it seemed to be amusement. "I'd like that,"

At his answer you nodded and went to the kitchen to get him a cold glass of water and then placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Dazai sat up and leaned forward to grab it before drinking down the water, letting its cold sensation slide down his throat and finally ease that throbbing pain in his head. Your mouth formed an 'o' at the sight and then quickly walked off away to bring something.

Dazai watched you leave with a quizzical look when he saw you come back with a water jug and something else in your other hand. You placed the jug next to his now empty glass and stretched your hand out to him.

"Here," you said softly and opened your palm to reveal a set of painkillers to which his eyes perked up and his lip corners turning upwards slightly.

"Thank you again," he said genuinely and took the set and popped out one pill and brought it to his mouth before filling his glass with water again and swallowed the pill down.

You then shuffled to sit on the couch opposite the one he was on and began to relax yourself as you observed his movements with a faint smile.

Dazai had drunk a few more glasses of water and felt much better and more sober and leaned back again, his eyes locking with yours. "I know I said this a few times, and I can't thank you enough, but thank you for doing this," he said, his mood improving as you had been distracting him well from his previous depressing thoughts.

A giggle escaped from you at that and beamed at him, feeling warmth spread in your chest. "It's really no big deal,"

The mafioso's smile widened even more and laid his hands on his lap as he took in your face once more, absolutely pleased at the sound you made. It was very adorable to him.

After a few seconds you let out an "oh" and turned your body so you could grab the towel you had taken with you from your room and showed it to him. "Right. Since you have quite sweaty hair, I thought you might wanna wash it? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I do recommend you to do it," your tone was gentle and calming as the smile was still sitting comfortably on your lips.

Dazai couldn't help but chuckle at your considering nature, feeling so unfamiliar to such acts towards him and just smiled. As he always tried to. Convincing others of emotions he was supposed to show, yet struggled to even understand them. He'd always worn a mask in front of everybody - except Odasaku. He was different. If Dazai wasn't sure how to act, he'd hoped if he gave a simple smile that the person would accept it and move on.

"I guess I should take up the advice of a pretty girl such as yourself," he said in a smug tone, his flirtatious side returning as usual and stood up from the couch.

A warm sensation made its way to your cheeks at his words, your heart beginning to beat faster as he came closer to you and took the towel from your hands carefully, still smiling down at you. You were stunned and couldn't form any sentence and just stared up to him.

The boy merely grinned at your reaction in delight, knowing you'd do so since he could predict the actions of girls after he chose the right words every time. He then began to move his legs and turned to you again, his hands in his pockets. "Oh right, where's your bathroom?"

Gathering your composure, you cleared your throat and uttered your reply, "Just go straight ahead, the door right next to the kitchen,"

Dazai nodded and disappeared from your vision as you could hear the bathroom door lock. You let out the breath you were holding and rested back against the couch, your heart still beating profusely.

"Why is he like that?" you pouted annoyed with a frown before turning on the TV and chose to watch any show available for the moment.

The sounds of the shower could be heard and you figured that he now began to wash his hair as you suggested. That brought a smile to you face, that he decided to listen to you. Dazai had every right not to, you were still strangers after all but he still did as you asked him to and went to properly take care of him self for once.

You wondered just how much he actually cared about himself - if he actually ever did. The thought made you sad, that someone like him, who seemed charming was actually in a dark place and suffered all by himself. Then your thoughts wandered over if he had someone who cared about him like you did. If he had someone to talk to, to vent out to, share his inner most feelings. The imagination at that not bring an option for him released such an unpleasant and upsetting feeling in you.

Poor guy.

Minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Dazai stepped out, the scent of your shampoo spreading throughout the apartment, hitting your nose which soothed you greatly. He then walked in the living room with his hair all wet and messy, looking way more refreshed than before. He might've become even more handsome.

You managed a smile and looked him up and down, content with everything at the moment.

The young handsome man stared back at you with the same smile and would dry up his brown locks with the towel you gave him, stepping closer to you. "You were right with this. I feel much better," he beamed, his brown eyes having more light in them now.

Joy spread inside you at his words and giggled softly, "I told you so," you sighed and tapped your fingers on the armrest of the couch. "I'm glad you're doing better,"

He didn't answer as he kept his gaze on you, the eye contact between the both of you longer than needed, making your face grow a bit red before you spoke up again to get rid of the awkwardness within you. "So... you wanna dry your hair, I assume?" you teased a bit.

Dazai chuckled at that, "Yeah, that'd be very much appreciated (Y/n)," he threw you an amused look.

As you had taken a closer look at him, you had noticed something. "Wait- Did you take one of our bandages for your eye?" you observed, narrowing your eyes.

He looked away from you for a second, bringing a hand behind his wet hair and shrugged with raised brows, "Maybe?" he admitted by meeting his gaze back with yours and grinning cheekily.

You shook your head at that with a soft chuckle and stood up, "Seems like you got the skills to spot and find things quickly, even in unfamiliar places, huh?" you mused, very impressed by him, even though rummaging through some stranger's stuff was a bit questionable but considering his rather reasonable nature, you knew he didn't have bad intentions or was rude.

The male shrugged once more as he looked down at you with a small smirk, holding the wet towel in his hand as his brown hair stopped dripping of droplets of water. "I suppose so,"

You then led him back to your bathroom and brought your blow dryer from your room and handed it to him. He thanked you again and you stayed at his side this time while he did his job, having crossed your arms as you watched him stand in front of the mirror.

The heat of the blow dryer would reach you from time to time, actually feeling quite nice, the hair on your body standing up at the warm feeling, the sound echoing throughout the bathroom. When Dazai was finished he unplugged the object and wrapped the wire around it before giving it back to you. You smiled in response and continued to pin your eyes to him, who adjusted his hair a bit more, staring into his reflection. His eye met yours again through the mirror and you both found yourselves smiling upon that unconsciously, a certain atmosphere hanging between you.

"Alright then," you started, taking a basket and filled it with fresh fruits your mom had bought recently with some chips, sweets of all kinds, biscuits and soft drinks as well.

Dazai quirked an eyebrow at your actions as he kept eyeing your movements, growing more and more perplexed by each second. "What are you doing?"

You turned to him next to you and began to smile widely. It was the way your face brighened up as you glanced at him, radiating that warmth he grew to like the moment you had declared to take care of him just minutes before. The sentiment of it so right, so delicate, he could drown and bask in that warmth of yours any time. And your eyes shone in a way that would send a small shiver down Dazai's spine and that smile... Oh that smile of yours.

"You'll see," you gave him a teasing giggle as excitement continued to fill you. Stuffing some more things into the basket, you asked him, "Could you give me that red and white checkerd cloth, please?"

He did as you told him, walking over to the corner of your kitchen and then gave it to you which you put in the basket as well before shutting it closed, its weight making your arm go weak. Dazai took notice and formed a small smile holding the object from underneath so it wouldn't be too heavy for you.

"Here, let me take it," he offered and slid the handle off your arm and gripped it with his right hand, the bandages wrapped around it really accenting all the curves and bones. You accidentally stared at it a bit longer than you intended and then immediately looked away, to his eyes, a faint tint of pink on your cheeks.

"Thank you."

You then led him out of your home after you two wore your coats, as it was almost 2 am in the morning, the weather much colder than before with the moon shining brighter onto you both, illuminating every inch of your path beautifully. The only sounds that could be heard were your footsteps since you were the only ones outside, complete silence except for some grasshoppers engulfing you.

Both of you loved the night.

It was the best time of the day, providing you a period of time fully to yourselves, your thoughts, your wishes. Was it the way the darkness of the night that hung above you every day resembled the one that lived inside you? Was that why you loved it? Did you find an odd sense of comfort knowing you were surrounded by that very darkness?

"So tell me... where are we headed?" Dazai questioned as his footsteps synced with yours.

His voice reached your ears after a long pause of silence, the tone gentle and full of curiosity. You could sense how much better he was doing. This made you so happy.

"Just trust me on this. I want to surprise you," you grinned at him to which he chuckled beautifully.

You took the handsome stranger to the place you'd escape to when you felt mentally drained, spending your time there as long as you wanted, being comforted by the stars themselves than your own people. It was at a meadow further away from your place but not very far that you'd grow tired. The exact spot was something like a cliff of some sorts but the area was filled with all kinds of flowers and nature. If you were to look up at the night sky, the moon would smile back at you, sitting close to you at that very spot.

Arriving at your comfort place, you faced Dazai, still wearing a big smile as he looked down at you with a soft expression, anticipation flowing in his dark eyes. "Close your eyes,"

Again, he did as you asked him to, unintentionally smiling, awaiting this surprise of yours. The beat of his heart grew stronger as he sharpened his ears to listen to anything you did, becoming impatient by each second due to excitement.

You immediately took the basket from him and took out the red and white checkered cloth and spread it on the grass ground and then put the basket on top of it. Taking the food out one by one, you made sure to make everything presentable for Dazai. You wanted this to be a memorable night for him after all. The ripping of flower stems could be heard faintly as you placed various types of flowers across the cloth and properly seated yourself among the things you set up.

Then you looked back to the young boy in front of you who was waiting patiently and had his eyes closed the entire time, looking so cute.

"You can look now."

Upon that Dazai unsealed his eyes and met with the sight of you having prepared a night time picnic for him to which his mouth hung open in utter shock, his eyes growing a bit wide. You kept surprising him every moment and he wasn't complaining. Something in your eyes was so inviting. Something your smile was so exciting. Something in his heart told him that he must join you, to not hesitate even one bit, to spend this precious night with you. He felt something so unfamiliar within himself. He just couldn't explain it. What was this feeling? The boy hadn't felt it in a while he gathered.

It was the feeling of pure joy.

Without wanting to waste any time, he sat down opposite you, his sparkling eyes marvelling at the food he saw you pack in the basket with confused ones moments before. He never expected this night to go to any of this direction when he was rotting in that bar before. Never would he have thought to have someone as enticing as you by his side when he had those agonising and life draining thoughts. Never.

"You did this... all for me?" he locked eyes with yours after taking in everything around him on the ground, absolute admiration living in those brown hues.

A blush tainted the soft skin on your face, nodding your head as you took a strawberry in your hand and smiled gently towards him, "Yeah. To make you feel better. I told you, didn't I?" your voice was so sweet, so pretty, Dazai loved the tone so much. That sincerity which would always cling onto every each word leaving your soft lips.

He'd smile greatly at you, his heart fluttered at your actions. He absolutely didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve you.

You brought the strawberry near his mouth and kept holding onto that softness on your face. "Eat it," you urged meekly.

His lips stayed in the same position as he leaned in and took a bite of the juicy fruit, it's sweetness spreading on his taste buds, earning a hum from him. Dazai took more bites until it reached the white part, which you then put away in an extra plastic bag for the trash and extra. The lovely flavour still lingered in the brunette's mouth, the saccharine sensation having given him a push of serotonin.

Just like her own sweetness.

"That was splendid, dearest," he commented, his eyes never leaving yours.

You let out a soft giggle, tilting your head, also not breaking eye contact. "I'm glad, Dazai,"

After that you both tried everything you had taken with you for the night picnic. You made him eat the chips, the sweets and the biscuits and each time he'd give you such an adorable reaction. He was so precious. It warmed your heart so much to the point you swore it was beginning to become dependent on his presence. Seeing him so joyful at the littlest things actually made you sad in a way. Spending time like this was the bare minimum.

Did he really never get any of that?

This caused you to nourish him even more. To help him, take care of him even more.

"What brand is this?" Dazai asked as his cheeks were stuffed with the biscuits you brought with you.

You laughed at his adorable little antics and pinched that very cheek of his. "It's (brand name). You like it?" your entire being relaxed by just looking at him.

He nodded in response, gazing back at you, "Very much,"

You hummed, a smile tugging at your lips, "You can take the whole package then if you'd like,"

"Really?" his eyes shone bright, a childlike wonder on his face.

Heart racing deeply within your chest you giggled once more, "Yes. Take it,"

Dazai couldn't describe the feeling he had when he was with you in this very moment. It was like he could be a child again, make up for all the times and experiences that were stolen from him. He wished nothing more than to just spend the rest of his time here with you, at this wonderful environment, away from blood, violence, the stench of dead bodies and that physician's cold and piercing glare.

When you two had craned your necks to look up at the sky, the time being 2.30 am, you just enjoyed each other's company while admiring the stars, which stood out in the darkness more than usual.

"That one looks like a bunny, don't you think?" you pointed towards the stars above you as you two were sitting next to each other a bit more, having decided to filter out some star constellations.

Dazai raised a brow at that with a chuckle, "A bunny? You think so? Looks like noose to me," he corrected with a casual shrug.

Your mouth hung open at that with wide eyes and a frown, "What the hell? A noose? Are you serious?" you asked in disbelief and genuine confusion.

He nodded in honesty, seeing no problem with his claim, "Yeah? Is that bad?" he had an innocent spark in his eyes which really made you question things.

Moving your head upwards again, you asked him yet again, "And that one? What do you see?" you wanted to be sure if he was joking or actually serious.

The mafioso glanced to the spot among the beautiful stars and moved his mouth, "A gun or knife of some sort... I don't know," he said with another shrug, turning back to you.

A huge sigh left you at that and made your whole body face towards him a bit more, face growing a bit concerned now. "Dazai... are you... are you okay?"

When you questioned him that, he made note of your tone, how soft and wary it was. The question made him look down to his lap, taking a breath before answering you.

"Not really."

So your suspicions were right about his mental state. You decided to ask further.

"I'm sorry to hear that... Do you want to... maybe talk about it?" your eyes scanned his now more serious face.

He was breathing calmly and then latched his eyes back to your own face. "I suppose we could... but only a few things..."

"Of course, that's totally fine," you formed a comforting smile.

Dazai instantly mirrored your expression before he told you about some of his struggles. His heavy and deep depression. His suicide attempts which made you sick to your stomach but served as an explanation for the bandages around his whole body. Your heart would sink every time he'd describe his emotions... if he could even call them that.

"What about your eye? Was that self inflicted or...?" you tried to act as carefully and respectfully as possible, not wanting him to feel at unease at all.

The brunette merely smiled at your question, grateful to your politeness, "No it isn't. My boss... who happens to be a physician, treated my eye long ago. It's still healing though," he explained, running a hand through his brown locks.

Nodding at his reply, you looked down to your lap. "I see..."

"What about you?"

You heard his voice as you had been in a small daze for a second.

"Hmm?" your focus returned to the boy beside you.

"Did you go through something too? If so, you don't have to share," he wore a warm expression, pools of tenderness in his eyes.

"Do you think life has meaning?" he added once more.

You had to think about that for a moment, gathering your thoughts and emotions, the question being a very deep one of course.

"I suppose to me it does have some meaning. But even if I described it to you, it would be kind of useless don't you think?"

He had to nod at that, pointing his lip corners downwards while he pondered for a second. "You're not wrong, however I'd still like to hear your version of the reason to live," he smiled softly.

That made you smile as well before you stared towards the sky once again, "If you say so... I think that the true meaning of life can't be found so easily. You have to search for it. It isn't presented to you on a silver platter or anything. Life is deceitful, destructive and down right unfair. But despite all of that, it has it's beautiful moments... for someone like you that might seem impossible but trust me... you should cherish even the smallest spark of positive emotion. Just keep it to yourself like how you'd want your wife to treasure the ring you gifted her. I've been through a lot too, not nearly to an extent like you did but I understand how you feel, Dazai. You're stuck in a place I'd never want to return to. I'm glad I escaped that void. And I hope you do that too,"

He listened to every word you spoke, being attentive and tried to understand everything. Dazai liked the way you talked. It was soothing and tranquil. He nodded at your reasoning, finding it somewhat logical.

"I see what you mean. Seems plausible to me," he responded with authenticity. A long and tired breath escaped his mouth as he stared upwards again. "I really do hope to leave this hell hole called mind. I feel so trapped every damn day. I'm just waiting to see the day where I can look at the world through your eyes,"

You smiled with deep emotions within you at his words, feeling the same hope accompanying you, wanting nothing more than his happiness. You didn't say anything after that, thinking your facial expressions were enough to assure him you agreed with him. Darting your eyes around you, you studied the beautiful area again that you had memorised by having come here so many times. No matter how many times you'd return to this place, it would always give you solace like nothing else in the world. Every blade of grass, every tree, every single flower, every brush of wind and every company of the moon was enough.

Your nights here were drenched in long talks with yourself about things that should've been but couldn't be.

"Dazai?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" he answered almost immediately, as if it was a reflex to him to call you sweet names.

You looked back to him with a wide grin, redness coating your cheeks.

"Wanna dance?"

At that you had taken out a CD player and put a Frank Sinatra album into it and skipped to a certain song and pressed play. The sounds of a lovely melody reached your ears, flutes, violins, the bells and drums echoing around the beautiful area, the scent of the flowers making the experience much better.

'Strangers in the night exchanging glances. Wondering in the night. What were the chances we'd be sharing love before the night was through'

Dazai made a satisfied sound at the song playing and smiled broadly. "Excellent song choice, belladonna," he moved his head to you as you two were standing now, next to the picnic set up.

"I know," you said cheekily with a giggle when you held your hand out to him. "Will you allow me to dance with you, good sir?" you joked playfully.

He chuckled, completely enthralled by your idea, giving you a short nod and placed his hand on yours, gently holding it, his slightly rough skin colliding with yours. You two came closer, having had this proximity again like before, when you had asked him to come with you. There was this tension, this feeling that was constantly clinging onto you which just never let you tear your eyes from each other. It was like time had came to a halt whenever your eyes met.

Dazai's other hand found your waist as yours did with his shoulder without any question, as if you two had done this multiple times before. You'd smile like idiots when you two got ready in a comfortable stance to dance along. And that's what you did.

You let him take the lead as the calming and nostalgic song played in the background, laughing amongst yourselves. Whenever he'd take a step, you'd follow immediately, his hold on you so careful and graceful, you felt as if you were a princess in his arms. The sound of his breathy laughter was like music to your ears. He was just too breathtaking to you.

His hand that was gripping yours moved above your head and made you spin for him, you giggling at the action before he caught you again, pressing your back against his chest. The whole time your smiles wouldn't disappear. How could they when you were having such a lovely time together. Your stomach flipped at the feeling of his body pressed to yours, never ceasing to blush at Dazai's every little movements.

Right after you turned around and took his hand again to make him spin as well, earning a pretty laugh from him yet again, his brown eye glistening under the moonlight like never before this whole time you two had been together. Your hand was practically glued to his as you didn't want to let go, since his skin was so comforting, like a pillow. Everything about him was, to he honest.

"Turned out so right, for strangers in the night."

You both sang in unison, absolute glee dancing along with you, the words somehow having latched themselves onto your brains, making you think further, to other places. The young boy's face was close to yours, close enough to feel his breath on your skin, having a great close up view of his beautiful features that you found yourself adoring each time. Impossible was it to rip your gaze away from those deep, profound and complex chocolate eyes.

The air around you changed yet again, your hands on his shoulders, his on your waist, the gap between your bodies almost non-existent, just breathing calmly. You could swear his eyes flickered down to your lips, yours doing the same automatically. But you both never went any further. The two of you had flushed faces and had your throats stuffed with unspoken words.

You inhaled deeply with a deep blush, eyes darting to your side, to the picnic before you got too lost and too comfortable in his hold, "We should..." you trailed off.

Dazai's hands relaxed on your waist, a short exhale coming from him, sliding his touch down to your hips cautiously and smiled in understanding, "Yes we should,"

As it had become 3 am already and the weather was getting colder, you both chose to pack the leftover food back into the basket, Dazai carrying it again for you while you slowly made your way back to your apartment. He had given you his coat since he could tell how you were trembling a bit, you holding it close to your body, smelling his cologne and a bit of alcohol and sweat too, but it wasn't that unpleasant. Just having spent this time together you could feel how much closer you had gotten. You were so much more comfortable in each other's presence.

The thought of each other's lips wouldn't leave your minds or your scents, and how intoxicating they were to the other. It felt like both of your presences were now actively and permanently living inside your heads, sending waves of happiness to each other.

Once you arrived back at your doorstep, you spun around to face him again, wanting to see that soft expression of his again. A bitter feeling washed over you at the thought of never seeing him again after this. Not being able to hear his laughter anymore or to just listen to him talk.

Dazai travelled his eyes down to the basket and held it higher, "Should I come with you again? To help you carry the basket upstairs?" he asked with care.

He was such a gentleman, you appreciated it so much. You shook your head slowly and stepped closer to him. "No, it's fine. I can do it myself," you reached out and took the basket from him, it being much lighter due to you two having eaten so much of the food. He was still gripping the biscuits package you let him take for himself though.

Your eyes found his again and you just kept staring in silence, his brown ones examining you once more, wanting to burn your memory into his vision and mind as much as possible. You did the same, your attention glued to his gorgeous face.

"Um... my..." Dazai pointed towards you, a small chuckle leaving him.

"Oh. Sorry, I forgot," you smiled in embarrassment and slid off his long black coat and handed it back to him, which he accepted eagerly with a giggle and draped it back onto his shoulders just like when you first met him.

The young male released a breath and scratched his hair, his eyes looking a bit gloomy. "So this is goodbye huh?"

Your whole face frowned at that, not actually ready to take the final step as your heart strings were tugging you towards him, telling you to not leave him. Pouting at his words, you nodded, your own emotions of dissatisfaction evident on the outside.

"It seems like it."

Silence had filled in again for a moment longer after that. The tension grew even more heavy, almost as sharp as a knife.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me. I really enjoyed every second together with you, (Y/n)," Dazai spoke wholeheartedly, even a bit of affection lurking in his smooth voice, his eyes and cheeks no longer red from the alcohol he had consumed. No longer tired, in pain or irritated.

A wide and beautiful smile tugged on your lips, delight and happiness welled up inside you, causing your cheeks to turn crimson. "I'm glad that I was able to make you forget things. Even if it was just for this short time at night,"

He managed a grin, growing so soft for you like for no other girl he had ever before. Man, he was really going to miss you.

"Alright then... goodbye, (Y/n). Belladonna," he said that pet name with such fondness and vulnerability it really made you melt on the inside.

"Goodbye, Dazai. Until we meet again," you spoke with a clouded mind, unlocking the door to lead to your lobby, your eyes always fixed to his.

You'd both stare for a while longer, Dazai walking backwards to keep up with your staring contest, heart pounding in his chest at this bittersweet moment.

"What about your parents though? Where are they?"

He wanted to prolong this a tiny bit more. Wanting to hear your voice.

Your head perked up at his concern, chuckling softly, "They'll return soon enough. Both have their night shifts today," you elaborated rushed in an assuring way, almost fully inside the lobby.

The brunette nodded firmly, smiling brightly only for you once more before he began to turn his body. Your (e/c) eyes watched him do that, biting your lip at the emotions you were experiencing this very moment. It kept eating you up.

Dazai's back was turned to your apartment as he slowly moved his feet to head to his own place but could hear fast footsteps approaching him and he twisted his body back. Having done so, he could see you running towards him, with your pretty (h/c) hair flowing with your movements, that look of determination and yearning in your eyes, those eyes that he would always remember now.

"(Y/n)? Wha-"

That's when he felt you wrap your arms around him tightly for an embrace and he stood still, absolutely frozen on the spot. He could feel your face nuzzled against his chest, that warmth he was so drawn to having made itself present again. Snapping out of his shock, he slowly brought his own arms to your back and pressed you against him, a huge smile making its way on his handsome features, burying it into your shoulder as he inhaled your addicting scent.

The hug lasted only for a few seconds when you pulled away to look into his eyes and examined his beauty once more before leaning in and planting a soft kiss to his cheek. When Dazai felt your tender lips on his skin, he was frozen yet again, your warmth having disappeared in a flash as you had gone inside the lobby already, the door closing behind you, any evidence of your existence having completely vanished.

The young executive was still trapped in a trance, replaying the scene in his head multiple times with a racing heart before he eventually left the area. What drove him insane was that your scent was still lingering on him, not just the shampoo he had used on his hair before but that sweet perfume of yours.

In fact your beautiful face was still swimming in front of his eyes. The heat that you radiated when you walked side by side. The food you ate together with the taste still present on his tongue. The Frank Sinatra song unconsciously playing in the back of his head and the sight of you dancing with him among a flower filled meadow, the moon gleaming onto you both.

He'd glance down to the biscuits in his hand every now and then, hearing your lovely voice saying he could take the package with him. So kind. So generous.

He wanted to feel every emotion you had brought out of him this whole time. From the moment he met you until the sweet kiss you gave him. He wanted you by his side again but his job wouldn't allow that and he certainly wouldn't want someone as precious as you to be involved with the mafia in any way. You didn't deserve him nor did he ever deserve you.

Never did Dazai ever think he'd genuinely get attached to a stranger, a girl so quickly like he did with you. And it scared him. He was so torn. Part of him wanted your angelic aura next to him, the other wanting you far away so he wouldn't get either of you hurt. He couldn't risk it.

He cared about you. He was actually concerned about your well-being. Just what kind of spell did you use on him that it was a bit agonising to leave you behind? If he had a chance to re-experience the night, he'd do it in a heartbeat. As many times possible.

Dazai Osamu ached for the way you treated him. He wasn't used to it - it was super foreign to him but he wanted to dive into that sensation again. Just once. Just a little drop of it even. Just one look into your eyes would've been enough.

All he could think about was you on his way back, your very being burned in his memory now. Forever.

He was never, ever going to forget you.

#bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #bsd anime #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #one shot #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #bsd x reader

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romana-after-dark · 11 months

Text

The Wrong Way: Chapter 9

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

Pacing is a bit off for reason's I'll explain at the end so uh have mercy. I shifted thing a bit but I think it'll make the last chapter better.

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If we had a daughter I'd watch and could not save her The emotional torture From the head of your high table She'd do what you taught her She'd meet the same cruel fate So now I've gotta run So I can undo this mistake At least I've gotta try... -Labour, Paris Paloma

It was cool out, and the fall leaves crunched under Joel heavy footsteps, shuttering and flittering as he pulls you across the lawn, screaming his brother's name in vain, horse shouts.

You were supposed to rake tomorrow.

“TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!” was all you could say, all sense having left you as soon as you were thrown around in the kitchen. It was another slap that brought you back to reality, opening your eyes to come face to face with the man who had beaten and loved you in such harsh contrast this last year, pulling you both to stand on top of a chair. Your shirt felt wet from how much you cried and were still sobbing, but you have enough thought, just barely, to stop screaming for Tommy… he let go, and you wanted to run, wanted to protect your baby… but you’d get nowhere. You look down at the crowd that gathered, all men you recognized, some you liked, some you knew were just waiting for Joel to relinquish you to them… and Lorenzo, his normally droopy bedroom eyes opened wide with fear.

This is how you’d die, isn’t it?

Joel yanked your face back to him. “They ain’t gonna save yuh, little one. Not even Tommy would save you, you know that, right, for all you cry for him, he still chose me over you. He chose Maria over you, because you are NOTHING! You were nothing but a pastime to him but me?” A rush of calm as he held your chin tightly, nails digging into the skin and clawing your face open. “I love you, princess, and all you do is hurt me.” His voice was soft, small, and for a foolish moment you think maybe he already peaked in his rage… until a strong, painful punch in your sternum knocked all breath out of you... and again. and again.

You hear Lorenzo call out your name, and through your sore throat and abused body, you manage to get out and small ‘don’t’. You hope Renzo knows that’s meant for him. Don’t do it. Don’t risk your life for me, I’m not worth it.

Joel throws the rope over the tree branch, and as you look at your surroundings, you are struck with horror at the realization that this is the tree in which Nick’s skeleton lay at the foot; an area you always intentionally avoided since Joel brought you out here so, so long ago. The rope that his hands hung from as Joel skinned him alive was across from you… was that your intended fate? Would he really do that to you, 8 months pregnant? Or would he kill you and preform some sick, botched c-section?

He fashioned a noose around your neck.

“Joel, Joel please, I’m sorry”

“I don’t fucking care!”

“THE BABY, JOEL!” You sob, pleading for your child's life. “Please, please just wait until I give birth, then you can do whatever you want but they shouldn’t be punished because of me!”

“You’re right, she shouldn’t” Joel always referred to the baby as ‘she’, despite no evidence. He pulled the rope tight, causing you to choke and stand on your toes to keep breathing. “This is your fault.” He slapped you, making your head swing wildly to the right. “It’s your fault I’m hurting you.” He slapped you again, and you felt blood leave your mouth. “You hurt me!” He screamed, and another slap. The ringing in your ear doesn’t prevent you from hearing him as he tells you that you are hurting the baby yourself before delivering his final blow. You can’t focus your eyes at all… but you can hear him, although you wish you couldn’t. From the loud voice and the feel of his breath, he’s right in front of you. “I should tie us both up, little one, and kick this chair out from under us, end it all, is that what you want?”

No, absolutely not. Even after everything, you didn’t want Joel dead, and it hurt you to hear the pain in his voice, just as it hurt to see the betrayal in his eyes as he learned of Tommy… You loved him, you loved him, you loved…

“N-o!” you choke out, the harsh rope burning on your throat.

“As much as I know you want me to,” Despite the fact you said no, he was so convinced you hated him. “You don’t get to win, cheating bitch.”

He hops down, rope in hand, tying it to the bar of the chair and leaving you gagging and rasping on your tippy toes for air on the chair. He mutters his usual threats to the men, that anyone who helps you or touches you is dead, and you watch him walk away towards the house.

So you stand there for what feels like forever, attempting to pull the noose off but you can barely breath, can barely see, can barely hear… you can, however, feel your precious baby kicking.

One by one, the men get bored and wander off inside, until two bodies are left.

You register Lorenzo’s smell, alcohol and those strange gross cigarettes he smokes, hoping up on the chair and quickly taking you down. You can’t stand, and Lorenzo barely stops you from completely collapsing on the ground. He yells at Jack to help him carry you inside, but Jack hesitates, no doubt not wanting to die… but after back and forth, another arm is lifting you up, and your heavily pregnant form is stumbling back to your home.

“Hey, stay with me sweetheart, we’re gonna get you back, okay? But I need you to stay awake, I think you’re concussed”

You don’t answer; you can’t answer, really… even as you slowly start to gain a little focus. Lorenzo is talking you through it. ‘Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot.’ Although you’re certain Lorenzo could carry you on a normal day, 8 months pregnant was another story.

You weren’t sure what his plan was, but it didn't really matter as Joel was waiting inside for you.

“Jack, take the girl.”

Lorenzo spoke up. “Joel, calm down, I know damn well you didn’t want her dead-”

“Jack, take the girl, and cover her eyes.”

You try to say no, to tell Joel to stop, but words don’t form like they should… Joel wouldn’t listen anyway.

So, there you are, stuck in Jack’s arms which were oddly tight, protective and comforting as Lorenzo’s blood splattered on you both, Joel pistol whipping him hard before shooting.

Lorenzo’s body falls to the floor as a clump of deadweight, and as Joel grabs you, dragging you into the room, all you can glimpse is Jack frantically trying to stop Lorenzo’s bleeding as your only friend screamed in pain on the floor.

When the door closes, Joel is a new person, pulling you to him and onto the bed. He was sat up against the wall, holding your back to his chest as your body wracked in sobs. Lorenzo was dead, you were in pain, and you were so, so scared for your baby. Could they survive what Joel had just done to you? You were certain it was over for now, Joel was back to his lovey, post-violence state had already set in… but what about next time? Joel had been safe for months… months where you didn’t run, you cooked and cleaned and serviced him and fucking hell, you fell in love! You loved him! You were the best possible wife you could’ve been, all while carrying his child, and even the mere suggestion of waiting on having another instead of pumping them out like he wanted, and he nearly killed you.

Was he trying to kill you?

Lorenzo said he wasn’t.

But you weren’t sure…

Lorenzo…

Despite the protruding stomach, he began to massage your core, and you were too violently ill and dizzied to protest. You’d be too scared to even try, anyway. You weren’t sure how long he tried until he gave up, but it felt like forever, minute after minute of your shaking, aching body crying in his arms as he tried to bring you to orgasm with his hands before realizing you weren’t the slightest bit wet. Your body didn’t even have it in you to attempt to betray you this time.

So Joel just held you, and held you tight, so tight you couldn’t hardly breathe again and you had no choice but to try and relax yourself until the sobs bubbled down to gentle hiccups and a steady stream of tears.

“Why do you make me do this to you?” Joel spoke, his voice croaking and you suddenly notice tears on your neck. “Why do you make me hurt you?”

“I d- I don’t know.” You gasped and tried to answer through the shaking tears.

“I don’t want to do this, you know that right?”

“Uh-uh”

“You make me act like this. I’ve been good to you, haven't I?”

“Y-y-yeah-ah.”

You almost killed me and our baby.

“I feed you, I care for you.”

“Y-yeah”

Tommy fed me. I cook for you.

“I make love to you, I make you come, don’t I?”

“Yeah.”

You rape me.

“You’re my wife”

You kidnapped me.

“I gave you a child.”

You forced this on me.

“I gave you a life here, free from your father.”

You ripped me away from Zach and June, you sent Tommy away, you killed Lorenzo.

“But still, you treat me like dirt.”

I cared for you. I’ve been a nurse, a servant, a cook, a whore

“You cheated on me with my own brother”

I was terrified of losing my virginity, and Tommy was safer than you.

“You disrespect me”

I asked a question.

“You know why I do this, right? It’s for your own good. Our baby needs a good mother, she needs a mother who will love her unconditionally, who will always be there for her, to be a good example. I can’t have you running around making her feel unwanted, can I?”

“No.”

Joel buried his wet, crying face in your hair. “So it’s not really my fault, is it?” It was like he was begging for forgiveness, for absolution, justifying it to you, to himself, maybe even to Sarah…

You answer him, sleepy, head throbbing and you feel like you could throw up. “No, it’s my fault.” and it was. It was your fault for not leaving with Zach, for not taking him up on countless offers he made in letters Lorenzo passed between you, offering to run away with you and June and Lorenzo… even continuing to beg into the pregnancy, but you ignored him, causing many fights between you and Lorenzo. It was your fault, and now Lorenzo was dead or dying and you were trapped with no way to contact Zach, no way to get to him…

He caresses your head and body. “Yeah, it’s yours, but it’s okay, I forgive you. You’ll do better, I just know it.” Joel sounded like he was about to fall asleep too. “You’ll be good for her. You’ll be a good mom for Sarah.”

If you weren’t so fucking tired, the revelatin of the extent of Joel’s dellousions would be shocking to you, but you couldn’t find anything shocking anymore.

“I spoke to Tommy the other day.” He sat up, laying you down into bed and tucking you in. “He’s doing good.” A kiss on the cheek and he continued his talking. “I was think’n, maybe after she’s born, we could see Tommy a little bit? Not much” Joel was quick to warn. “Maybe just… once every month or two… so Dolly can know her uncle?” He was back to using Dolly… “Would you like that? See’n him a little bit here and there?” He was offering you an olive branch.

“Y-yes, I’d like that.” Tommy… seeing Tommy again… You wanted him so badly, you missed him so much it hurt… Lorenzo was a blessing, he was like a brother, but Tommy was someone special. A kind, soft heart in a world of monsters…

“Go to sleep, little one. Tomorrow’s a new day.”

You thought you shouldn’t sleep, given that you were clearly concussed, but Joel was so warm beside you, big and broad and protectively wrapping his arms around you… You allow yourself to drift off; there was no use fighting it anymore.

But tomorrow wouldn’t be a new day. Tomorrow would be the same thing. Cooking, cleaning, baby, sex… every day for the rest of your fucking life.

The next morning Joel brought you eggs and toast... Breakfast in bed like a good husband… You waited until it was safe to ask about Lorenzo.

Hesitantly, Joel let you go see him… he was alive, but barely. The gunshot went straight through, thank god, but the wound on his torso was already looking infected, and his face was deeply swollen and bruised; Jack was no nurse.

But Lorenzo was still Lorenzo. “Hey sweetheart, you look like shit”

You smile at him. “Yeah, you’re not exactly Han Solo yourself.”

“Now, how come you know who Han Solo is but you don’t know Fleetwood Mac?”

You go on to explain the comics and Joel telling you all about it while you care for his wounds, making little jabs at each other until you are done, and he grabs your hand; sincerity in his voice.

“What happened? After he shot me… what happened?”

Lip quivering, you answer. “Nothing, really. He took me into our room and he-he held me and cried-”

He furrowed his brow at that. “He cried or you cried?”

“B-Both” You whimpered.

“Jesus”

“And he-he-he he told me I made him do it, that it’s my fault and I was a bad mom-”

Lorenzo groaned, and went to scrub his face, but yelped and winced in pain from his pistol whip. “Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me. I know I call you stupid and dumb and… I don’t understand why you stay, I really don’t… but…” He reached out and took your hand. “But this is not your fault. Even when you stay, even when you make him mad, it’s not your fault, and you are not a bad mom.”

You allow yourself to cry as he tells you, being perhaps the first person to say…

This isn’t your fault.

Two days later was when Joel left you next. You had sworn up and down you would forgive him so long as he got Lorenzo the medicine he needed, and tried your best to give him the best makeup ‘I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, Joel, I’ll do better next time, please don’t kill me’ sex you could give to smooth it all over.

The closet was locked; he kept your shoes in there, as he did any warm coats or gloves or anything that made aid in running away, but you didn’t care. You were going to the barn, you were taking a horse, and you were getting far, far away from here. You had a tinge of remorse for leaving Lorenzo; Joel will surely take it out on him, but you had gotten him his medicine and with it, a fighting chance.

Right now, you have to run. Nothing mattered more than your baby’s life.

It was cold, crisp, but not unbearable in your sweats, socks, shirt and jacket. You had to find your way to your family farm, find Zach and go. Joel didn’t know June existed, so she was safe from his rampage… if you were lucky, your dad might be who Joel takes it out on. Joel had told you if you tried to run, Zach was the first person he’d go to… but you wondered if now that Tommy was gone, Joel might go to wherever the hell Tommy was first.

You loved Tommy, there were few people who you loved like Tommy… but you loved your child more, and you prayed that Joel would go to Tommy first, buying you and Zach some time.

As you ran through the woods, your thoughts were scurried, desperately trying to find the barn in the darkness; there were few stars and no moon, and you had never been taught a sense of direction… You weren’t sure how to get to your family farm, but Christ, you were running for your life right now.

SMACK! You ran into a tree, no doubt adding to the horrific bruises on your face as is, but that's nothing compared to the horror of Nick’s skeleton under your body. You barely manage to cover your mouth from the scream as you fall backwards and scramble, trying desperately to get away.

As you run into a pair of legs, a hand covers your mouth this time and you scream, loud.

You are turned around and are suddenly face to face with Jack.

“Jesus fucking christ!” He whisper-shouts. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

You immediately begin begging. “Please! Please don’t tell Joel, I’ll go back! Please Jack he’ll fucking kill me, he’ll kill my baby please don’t tell-”

“Shut up!” He hisses, standing up from his crouched position to run his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK!” Jack begins pacing, considering his course of action. “We’re going back to the house.”

You nod obediently. You could figure out how to escape later, right now you needed Jack to keep a secret. You’d do whatever you needed to.

“Please don’t tell him, please” You sit up on your knees, wobbling with the belly but giving your best attempt to look pretty. “I’ll do whatever you want.” You’d suck him off, he could fuck your ass

“Jesus Christ, he’s got you fucked up.” Jack turns out, groaning, before helping you stand. “Get up, we gotta talk to Lorenzo, he’ll… fuck he’ll figure something out.”

Jack started walking, and you hesitated… you aren’t sure of you can trust him… but damn if you don’t have any other options. You look back and into the woods, debating your choices.. When you see a glint of silver in the grass near the skeleton.

A jackknife, the one Joel used to skin and castrate nick. You had no weapons… so you took it. It had a smooth wood handle with an ivory inlay, with a blunted out edge… the button struck a little as you practiced switching it in and out.

Not hearing your footsteps on the leaves, Jack turns around and urges you on.

He instructed you to stay put on the side of the house. He said Joel isn’t due back for a few hours, but just in case. Not long after, a stumbling and swearing Lorenzo is walking outside under Jack’s support.

“Of all the fucking times you wanna leave, you had to chose when I’m barely alive, huh?”

“I’m so-”

He holds up a hand. “Stahp.” His boston accent was thick with irritation and pain. “I’m just fucking with yuh, kid. Let’s get you to Tommy.” He began to walk, with Jack’s help, to the barn.

“But Zach-”

“Tommy is closer. I know where Zach was gonna take you, I’ll give Tommy the instructions.” He turned to Jack. “You need to go. Joel is gonna kill you if she and I left on your patrol.”

Jack shakes his head. “No, I don’t think he’d”

You spoke up. “He would. He told me he… he knows you and Tommy still talk. He doesn’ trust you.”

Jack groans again, rubbing his face.

Lorenzo continues. “Swing by and get Maura, anyone in proximity to this is in danger.”

“Fine, fine. Meeting in Boston?”

“Rapid City, we’re not there in 4 days, keep going. You know the plan once you get to Boston.”

You turned to Lorenzo. “Zach, Joel said-”

“Relax, sweetheart. Jack and I’ve had an escape plan ready to go just in case, and that involves your brother.”

The plan was for Jack to go to the farm and get Zach… if all went well, you’d meet up in Boston. There they’d find a friend of one of Lorenzo’s sisters, Tess, and she’d help you… You weren’t entirely sure about all of this, but Renzo would bring you to Tommy… Tommy would keep you safe.

Lorenzo wasted no time. He saddled up quickly and he and Jack helped you on the horse. You thanked Jack as he and Lorenzo hugged goodbye, and Lorenzo took off galloping for as long as his wounded body could take. He slowed down after half an hour, his weakening body slumping up against yours, telling you how to get to Jackson and what to tell Tommy should he fall over… If Lorenzo passed out and off the horse, there was no way to get him up in your condition…

Somewhere along the lines, you found yourself apologizing, apologizing for causing so much trouble, uprooting his life, uprooting all their lives, Tommy’s happy life in Jackson…

“Sweetheart, knock it off, I mean it.” He said in that harsh but loving tone. “Joel… he said you were nothing, that you were nothing to Tommy but that’s not true. I love you, Zach loves you, and Tommy absolutely loves you. We are doing this to give you and that baby a chance at survival.”

You continued into the night, until a group of men on horses approached with dogs.

“Lorenzo Alverano!” He shouted, and the men looked at each other. Quickly, you and Lorenzo were sniffed out for infection and hurried off into the city limits and brought to where you sound found out was Maria and Tommy’s home, the men banging on the doors.

It was Tommy who answered.

You didn’t look like yourself at all.

Even under the dim porchlight, Tommy could see the expanse of bruises and scratches on your face, your black eye, the hanging and strangulation marks and rope burn, the busted lip, the considerable amount of fat you’d lost… and of course, your 8 month round belly.

“Oh honey…” Tommy murmured before rushing to take you in his arms. “What did he do to you?”

You cried heavily in his arms as he guided you inside where another woman watched, questioning Lorenzo on the situation at hand. You were introduced to her, Maria, and although she was straight to business, you didn’t feel unwelcomed. Tommy would care for your emotional needs, Maria was planning your escape.

It was decided when she spoke. “Lorenzo, you’ll never make it to Casper the way you are, you’re staying here.” She turns to Tommy. “Take one of the travel bags and go.”

“Maria. ” You didn’t know if he was going to protest or what, but Maria stopped him short.

“Go. She needs you.” She looked… Sad, almost, as she turned to the men. “Get Lorenzo to a safehouse with a medic.” Back to Tommy. “You, get the horse and the bag and go. There isn't much time, Joel is gonna come barreling and we need to prove you’re gone.”

Back and forth, Tommy looked at you, then Maria, then you, then Maria… before standing up. “Okay.” and he headed out the door in a hurry.

Maria looked at you sympathetically. “Do you remember me?”

You tried to think… she looked familiar but- oh. “The first day.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Joel… I wanted to stop him, but I was trying to broker a deal to keep Jackson out of his grasp and…” Maria shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m honestly amazed you lived, knowing Joel.”

“Yeah.” You huff out. “Me too.”

“Tommy’ll get you to Boston, get you safe, take care of you…” She looked sadder, the more she talked…

“I’m sorry.” You couldn’t help but over apologize, it was ingrained in you now. “But once my babies safe, I’ll leave you and Tommy alone. He’ll be back and you’ll never hear from me again.”

She didn’t look like she believed you. “Sure. He’ll be back…” did she believe herself?

Despite Maria and Tommy’s insistence to hurry, they took their time saying goodbye, Maria grasping tightly to his body.

“I’ll be back, Maria. I swear. Get through the winter and I’ll be back first thaw, okay?”

Maria didn’t sound like she believed Tommy either.

One hand was around you, holding you tightly to him while the other guided the horse, urging it on to run as much as it could… you needed distance, as Joel likely already returned to the house and discovered you were missing by now.

It was a long while before he spoke.

“What did he do to you, honey?” It was that soft, low, ever-calming tone he used on you that never failed to make you felt into him… “How did this happen…”

You couldn’t help but tell him the story of the last 8 months since he’s been gone. The pregnancy, Lorenzo, the freedom, and exhausting housekeeping with a giant belly… How Joel began to see you as his wife, his maid, a person to make babies and clean the house… not as a person like you had thought.

Finally, you told him how Joel beat the ever-living fuck out of you, how he hung you from the tree and left you for dead… and how you called for him in your hysteria.

Tommy rested his head on yours, taking in the smell of your hair as he apologized for not being there for you.

When it was clear you weren’t getting much further, Tommy guided the horse to an old abandoned house he knew off in the woods. Tommy knew this area well, having made this trip many times throughout the years. The sleeping bag you were sent off with was intended to be shared between two people for body heat, but not necessarily a heavily pregnant person… the fit was tight, but nonetheless

you were comfortable in his arms. You were always comfortable in his arms.

“I’m glad you’re here, Tommy.” You spoke softly, drifting off to sleep.

“I am too, honey.” Tommy kissed the side of your face, and as the tiniest peak of light shown through the horizon, Tommy and you drifted off to the small amount of sleep you could before continuing on your journey to Boston, to start a new life.

*************

CW For a bomb threat on kids between the *******'s

*********************I work at a day care, it's week 2, and between waking up from nap and snack time we received a bomb threat. Our building evacuated around 100 kids to a nearby church. People where there to set up a anniversary party and were incredibly kind. They set up a tv for the kids to watch a movie, brought out water and crackers for our poor kids who didn't get their snack, and tissues for the teachers who were crying. its me i was teachers. I did great getting the kids to safety butt as soon as the action ended i was a mess. not long after a bunch of people arrived. My day care does child care for workers at the nearby hospital we are a part of so pretty soon lots of people where there including the hospital president, HR, and on sight counseling which I took part in. Turns out it was a middle school pulling a "prank". Law enforcement said they have never seen a building full of children evacuated that quickly and safely. Several of us are new. **************

this being said... I am exhausted. I cried a lot and my anxiety drained me... but I wrote this chapter bc writing helps me cope. So.... it's not my best writing but that's okay.

chapter 10 will probably take a while to see, because I need it to be perfect, absolutely perfect for you guys because you all deserve it. You maaaaaayyy just a small drabble bc there was a scene i wanted to include but it just didn't fit!

I go on a trip next week where I'll finally get to see Matchbx 20 who ive had tickets for since 2020 but covid ruined it lol...

I'm also working on a joel one shot for ya'll

anyway thak you all so so so much for your continued support!!!!! I love you all very very much

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

Anyone got any guesses for the grand finale? I would looooove to hear some theories!!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog@lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

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tan1shere · 3 months

Text

Too Late

Ellie Williams x female reader

A/n: it's just one of those days for angst 😍 I put my whole heart into this I hope you all enjoy it <3 also did the paragraphs differently idk which layout I should do. This or my normal one...

Summary: Ellie was blind to it all. But so were you. Blind by her sweet little remarks, sucked in. You fell first but she fell incredibly harder once she realized she'd lost you entirely.

Warnings: not much just angsty angst my friends. NO HAPPY ENDING hehehe sorry not sorry ;)

Masterlist

Tears threatening to spill. For what felt like the thousandth time that week, you've been crying your heart out. Yes that's right, crying over someone who doesn't even glance at you, the way you would like. Doesn't even want anything to do with you... The way you'd like. How could you be so stupid to fall, to cry when they haven't even done anything. Ellie williams, your best friend. Well not right now. You two have been drifting and it hurt like anything. Shes very affectionate towards you, so much that at some points you wonder if she could ever like you for more. You were very stupid to think that even for a second.

Sitting in your room, alone. Text after text. You just wanted to wither away into thin air. Your eyes stung from the constant truckle of tears. But what hurt more, were the texts weren't even from the one person you wanted it to be. You were a bit younger than Ellie, so maybe she just thought of you as a child. That roamed around your brain for what felt like hours. Overthinking to the absolute max. You just wish your brain would zip it. Stop talking to you, just stop. It was silly to think that someone as amazing as her, would ever go for a wreck like you. Turning over in your bed, trying to get your brain to stop antagonizing you.

Fast forward a few days later, you were in your last class of the day, eyes droopy. Dark. Sore. Every possible thing that wasn't good. You were pale from lack of sun, just genuinely looking dead. Exactly how you felt deep inside. Dead. Dead. DEAD. "Y/n?" You get pulled out of your depressing thoughts by a voice. Her voice. You swallow, worried if you look at her you might break and crumble. You turn around looking at your feet, avoiding everything. "Hey, you haven't been in classes recently." You close your eyes for a split second praying that in some random universe this was all a silly dream.

That you were safe in your bed, dreaming this all. But no, ofcourse not. This was reality, she was talking to you and all you wanted to do was puke. Hurl. Your mind was racing. "Everything alright?" Your mouth goes dry, feeling like you can't form any words. You really were dead. So you do the only thing you could think of and just nod. "Babe are you sure?" There it was. That hope. That name. You kept everything in you not to let go completely and just run off to your small apartment, as you didn't live on campus. You finally look up at her, going to be strong as you had finished for the day. Not long to go now. "I'm sure. Just tired." She nods. "Ok well I want you to come with me this avo, I'm having a small party at mine. I miss you, please come."

Does she not understand what she's doing to your little heart. You feel it break more, every single day. You don't know how much longer you can keep going until it fully breaks in half. Jagged edges pinching your organs with that sting of pain. Or do you get over it once that's happened, maybe you want her to hurt you just that much, so even if you're broken you have nothing left to give. No more worries. "Yeah maybe." You go to leave not wanting to continue this any further. But she grabs your wrsit stopping you. "Please. I've missed you these past few weeks. And I have something really exciting to show you." For the first time in what felt like a decade you smile.

She was poisoning you. Your tiny heart started to mend again. Heartbreaking as it was you still loved her so much. You were inlove with her. "Okay, I'll be there." You were still so stupid.

Later on rolled round pretty quickly, your spark had come back again, you still looked like a bit of a mess but nothing a little makeup couldn't fix. Hiding those bags, and dark circles. You decided to wear something cute, maybe in hopes she'd fully see you for you. As you were approaching the dorm room that Ellie lived in you were smiling ear to ear, then suddenly everything in you fades. The door was open music booming, people everywhere. But you saw her. And she wasn't alone. A pretty girl was perched on her lap, they were laughing. Everything went buzzy. Your ears, numb. Your body. She sees you and smiles. Coming over to you hand in hand with this girl.

She looks to be Ellies age. Making your overthinking come face to face with you, as it was true. "Hey, you came! Id like you to meet Layla." You stare at both of them unsure of how to even process anything right now. Your brain was muddled. Hurt. So hurt. Your heart ached. The girl doesn't really say much she just smiles. You get a gross feeling. But you being you. You stay silent. Letting it hurt quietly, not wanting to ruin how happy she looks. But it isn't with you. You gulp thickly. Wanting to do nothing but go home and melt into your sheets.

"I- uhm. I have to go." You abruptly say, letting your small body wisk off, you get into your car and sit there. Feeling like a broken bone, not yet sunk in as the shock still consumes you. But when it hits you. It hits hard. You sob, cry. Break down, putting your head on the steering wheel as you let your heart out. You had gotten your hopes up. Again. In hopes that she'd love you like you loved her. You hit the steering wheel, sobbing with every bit of strength you have left. And just like that your heart was fully broken, no amount of super glue would fix it. No, nothing would fix the ache. The sting. You let out a pained scream as you rest your head back, knowing you can't drive like this.

You get out your phone and call for an Uber, you could pick up your car in the morning when you felt a bit better. But who are you kidding you'd never feel good ever again. It's like the person in you has just deflated. Gone. As you get out you hear her voice. You don't even know if it was a dream or reality. But you didn't care for the calls you couldn't. "What the hell was that." You then hear. You stop in your tracks. Is she really going to be putrid right now. "What...?" You don't turn around. "You heard me, what the fuck is up with you lately." You start to cry more, frustration starting to fuel your body. You slowly turn around. "Are you stupid Williams.." She squints at you. "Excuse me?" You stay silent. Not even sure what to say to her.

"Babe. Just talk to m-" That's when you lost it. "No. NO. stop fucking calling me that. God Ellie. After all these years you don't even fucking know me!" You get a bit sidetracked, letting everything in. "Dont stand there calling me that, you don't know how much it hurts me. When your off with someone else, leaving me behind you say you miss me but where were your texts huh? You're the only one I wanted texts from. I only wanted you." She was speechless. "But no, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you, because if anything im mad at myself. Glad you're happy." Your Uber had pulled up in time. You get in not even looking at her as the vehicle drives off.

Numb. Empty. Dead. You felt emotionless the next day. You truly had no tears left to cry. Like it has been your eyes hurt. But this time, you didn't even care. It was sort of soothing. Comforting to know you could atleast feel something. You hadn't moved that whole night. Hadn't slept. Just laying there. Your theory was right. Your heart was now fully broken, it felt exactly how you had imagined it to. You had nothing left to give. But you were glad about that. Ellie broke your heart to the point where you just lost all that love for her. It was just gone. You scrunch your face up at the sound of a car parking outside. It sounded exactly like your car. And you were greeted with the sound of a knock on your door.

Confusion strikes you. You slowly, emotionlessly. Get up and head over to it. You're greeted with that one person you never wanted to see again. And yet, you don't even care for her arrival. Nor ask why the hell she's even here. You just move, heading back inside and leaving the door open for her to do what she wanted. You did not care. "Hi..." She speaks softly. Your cold, dark. You don't say a word. "I uhm. I had a spare key of yours that you had given me in case of anything so." Silence. Nothing. You go into your kitchen grabbing a glass of water. Was the only thing you felt like. "Me and her aren't..-" She sighs. "She was just using me to make her ex boyfriend jealous and, well. It worked." You turn your head to slightly look at her.

"B- Y/n I'm so fucking sorry-" You don't even know what came over you but you speak. "I'm not inlove with you anymore." She stares at you for a second, letting out another sigh. "I didn't know you were." She responds. You look into her eyes, yours drained and tired. Full of nothing for her, or anyone else in this world for that matter. She saw it now. She didn't the other day because she was so hung up on something that deep down she knew wouldn't end well. She's full of regret, hatred for herself. How could she not of seen any of it. "I can make this up to you, I genuinely want to be with you also-" You then look at her, making her shut up for some reason, worried about your reaction or response. "Guess it's too late for that." Her face drops, watching you going into your room, shutting the door behind you. Leaving Ellie stunned in your living room. Knowing she's lost you for good.

#elliewilliams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams angst

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f4irycafe · 2 years

Text

⤷ summary:" i'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears but i'm scared of loving you" - jazmine sullivan ♡

⤷ characters: eren jaeger

⤷ content warnings: black!coded reader, college au, drug use (marijuana), reader had attachment/trust issues, closed off reader, naked bodies?

⤷ wc: 745

⤷ notes: i kinda hate this but oh well :(

your heart was no longer yours, for it was currently resting in the hands of a tall green-eyed boy who seemed rather fond of it. it was his, has been for a very long time, even if you would have wished not to admit it. everytime you thought of stealing it back for yourself, he would do something so painfully good that you just told yourself, "one more week."

but one week had turned into two, three, then before you knew it two months had passed.

"and then this dicky ass kid in my 3 p.m - you're not even listening are you?" eren asked, looking over at you.

you were. you had just...gotten lost in him for a little bit. you hummed sweetly, continuing to run your nails through his hair. nails that he had recently paid for you to get done. he let his eyes grow droopy, leaning his head against your shoulder.

you raised the joint to your lips, letting it fill your lungs until you blew it out the open window. it was a rainy, lazy day in bed. wake up, light up, fuck, repeat. you couldn't even remember the last time you ate. it was just him, all day. you had stopped bothering to get back into clothes rounds ago, content to feel free and at peace with each other.

"gimmie," eren whispered as he lowered his head to your hands. you pressed the joint to his lips as he took it from you, blowing smoke out the window just as you had.

"you gotta stop doing that." he said after a bit.

"doing what?"

"zoning out on my face when i'm talking to you." you clenched your jaw in an effort not to let it drop to the ground.

"i do not -"

"it's okay. i'd stare at me all day too."

"you're stupid," you said after a few seconds of silence, snatching the joint back into your hands as you pouted.

"for real tho, wassup with that."

"what? i can't stare at you"

"you can, just not in a way you do." this boy was infuriating.

"and how, exactly do i stare to you mr. jaeger."

"you stare at me like you love me." he had taken the blunt back and anxiously hit it, turning his head after he spoke, too much of a coward to see the look on your face.

boys sucked. men sucked. dating sucked. but not eren. eren was sweet, eren asked if he could kiss you, eren bought flowers for your mother, eren pushes you to be better. he does all the right things, and when he doesn't he apologizes in the right way. he fucked you until you saw stars and ascended to higher dimensions, and he held you when you came down from those heavenly highs.

eren loved you.

and you knew that, of course you knew it. which was what made you mad. you kept giving him subtle opportunities to leave, unveiling your personality one wall at a time. and he just kept coming and coming, crashing through them all until he only had one left to conquer. he was like a little puppy, following you around wagging that big fat tail of his. sometimes when he got excited, you swore it wiggled.

and you loved eren. you loved him in a way that scared you because you'd never experienced that kind of love before. it felt like waves crashing all at once in your body, pulling you further down until his soul had you just where it wanted you.

you held his heart just as delicately as he did yours.

you didn't throw around the word casually. when you said it, you said it which each muscle in your body, each cell. and you were scared that if you took that step, said those three words, let it all out, that something bad would happen.

but that wouldn't happen with eren. he was the protector of your heart, and there wasn't much he wouldn't do to keep it safe.

"i do." you said, allowing your battling thought to quiet.

"you do what?" he asked, suddenly closr to you than he had been a second ago.

"i do lo-hmph," you paused, the words literally painful in your mouth. he laughed and pulled away from his face. shit head.

"i do love you, eren." he smiled, connecting your lips briefly, his hand coming up to massage your throat gently.

"i know you do angel," he said. "wanted to hear you say it for me, just once."

elles ramblings: i feel like i didn't match the vibe the way i wanted to. so maybe I'll do a part 2? or just a different version?

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iluvshinytwink · 1 year

Note

can you write a trent angst where he accuses you of cheating on him

Creepin' - Trent Alexander-Arnold

"I don't wanna know if you're playing me. Keep it on the law 'cause my heart can't take it anymore. And if you creeping please don't let it show, oh baby, I don't wanna know."

Trust. How does one gain trust? How does one react when their trust is being questioned? How does one prove that you should still trust them?

What is trust?

Trust, figuratively is more like a water lily. Its planted deep inside a person and when you give that person your love, your affection, your time, and care that water lily blooms and floats. Trust is beautiful, colorful and its given to you for you to see, to cherish, to protect. But what if you stop giving it love? What happens? Water lilies drown, they soon cascade down. Like trust, if broken, it cascades back down to the person.

When a person has given you all of their trust, what happens when its challenged? What happens when their trust is being questioned?

Trent gave you all of his trust. He trusted you and you trusted him. So what happens when he's faced a challenge that questions his trust for you?

It was a normal night. Trent brought you along to celebrate their club winning a vital game in the club. Nothing seemed to go wrong.

Trent exited the car, as you were about to open the door you see Trent going to your door. A smile appeared on your face. Trent reached for the car door and opens it, revealing you. You smiled at him softly. "Thank you, Trent." You said in a singsong tune. Trent chuckles, holding his hand out for you to hold and you do so. You lace your fingers with his. "If only you were this nice everyday." You joked. "I'm always this nice, what're you talking about?" He chuckled.

The two of you entered the club and approached the VIP section.

Everything went smoothly and you stuck to Trent for the rest of the night.

The two of you sat on the couch, your arm touching his. "What's wrong, baby?" He asked with a smile. "You're so fidgety." He chuckled, pointing out the fact you were fiddling with your fingers. "I just want to stick to you." You calmly said, meeting his eyes though you couldn't see him quite clearly due to the dark lights. "Do you want a drink?" He asked you, lending you his drink that he had in his hands. You swallowed a lump in your throat, you were never fond of alcohol but if your boyfriend offered you, you should take it right? "I'm here, you don't have to worry about being hung over." He reassured. "It's really good." He said. "Keep your promise." You mumbled, finally taking the drink in his hand.

One drink slowly turned to two, two drinks slowly turned to three. Something in Trent was happy you were trying things that you never usually tried, you were climbing out of your box. But you weren't drunk out of your mind or anything. A light blush appeared on your face and you had drunken, droopy eyes and you were smiley. He loved it, every second of it.

"Trent, you're so red." You smiled. "That's just the lights, darling." he chuckled. You inch closer to your boyfriend, putting your head against his shoulder as you closed your eyes. "You sleepy? Wanna go home?" he asked you. "No, you should go celebrate with your friends, you deserved this win." you said, fighting a yawn from coming out of your mouth.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, you stay here, okay?" Trent said, standing up. You nodded. With that Trent was gone.

You felt your head spin, a constant banging was felt in your forehead. You placed your head on a dry part of the table, resting it.

Minutes pass and the club's music was beginning to sound unbearable, the bass was all over your ears and you were missing your boyfriend. With that, you stood up and walked out of the VIP room.

Trent exits the bathroom and makes his way to the VIP room where he left you.

He opens the door and finds the room empty.

His eyes widened and a course of panic goes through his veins. With closer inspection, he finds that all of his things and your things were still there, you were the only one missing.

Trent quickly leaves the room and searches for you. The club was crowded and he finds himself muttering several 'excuse me's ' whilst passing through.

The club lights were dim and the music was becoming unbearable so he needed to find you fast, wherever you were.

Finally, he stops looking.

A few meters away from him, he sees a familiar figure kissing someone passionately. Even though the club lights weren't helping him identity if that was really you, something in his heart knew that was you.

His heart shattered and the sound of his heartbeat pounded in his ears. He felt the music around him muffle and all he could hear was his thoughts and his heartbeat. This feeling of betrayal, this feeling of anger, sadness, jealousy-- it hurt him. It sent a pang in his heart and a sting in his eyes.

And so, he ran away.

He pushed through people, tears slowly falling down as he finds the exit.

As soon as he leaves the club the music finally becomes muffled. His lips quiver as he tries to compose himself.

All those hours he spent loving you, cherishing you and giving you everything he had-- you threw it away in a single night. All those smiles he flashed you, all those laughter that rang in his ears were thrown away.

Every time he'd look at you, he'd feel his heartbeat getting quicker and he felt a sense of comfort, he was content. But when he looked at you tonight he felt his heart shatter, he felt an excruciating pain going through his heart.

You'd betrayed him.

Trent bites his lips as the tears continue to pour. He felt his lips quiver underneath his teeth. He didn't know what to do, how to think.

Was this his fault?

You were tipsy, because of him.

You stepped out of you box, because of him.

A sense of regret pours into his mind. To think that he might've been the reason why you did this to him. He started considering of possibilities. If he hadn't given you a drink and persuaded you to drink more, would this never have happened? If he never left the room without you, would this never have happened? To think that he may have been the very reason why he felt pain, it pained him.

Suddenly, the club door opens. Trent composes himself, a shaky sigh leaving his lips. it must've been a drunk person stumbling their way out of the club.

"Trent?" a voice calls out to him. In this moment, his heart sinks. "Are we going home already?" you softly asked. "I tried looking for you but I got lost." you explained, walking towards your boyfriend. He stood still, hell, he didn't even look like he was breathing.

Trent's eyes dart to the ground as more tears prickle. His fingers dug deep into his palms and he bit his lip harder.

Your soft footsteps quickly became louder. He should confront you right now, yell at you, do something! But no, he stood still and waited.

You looked at your boyfriend and see a tear drop to the ground. "Trent? What's wrong?" you asked, putting your hand on his shoulder.

That wasn't you that kissed that person, was it? If you were, why were you tenderly speaking to him? Why were you touching him like you always did? He thought.

He backs away slowly. "Trent?" you called out, voice weak.

No, you couldn't have kissed that man. You loved him too much to do such a thing, right?

These thoughts filled his mind. A part of him wants to believe that wasn't you, but a par of him firmly thinks that it was you. So what was it?

"I saw you run away, right when I saw you. Are you okay?" you said, nearing him.

You saw him? Running away?

Which means.. it wasn't you?

Trent finally looks you in the eye, a worried expression was painted on your face. "It wasn't.. you?" he says in a whisper.

okay pookies it ends here cause i want yall to imagine an ending (im lazy and i have like 3 more requests to do)

SMASHH THAT LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE THESE 69696 LIKES AND A TOE REVEAL, PROMISE. (im lying i am not showing u my woofers, or will i?)

NMIXX CHANGE UP LETS GOOO ‼‼🤞😈😈😈💕💕

#trent alexander arnold x y/n #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #iluvshinytwink #imsoslaying #trent alexander arnold imagines

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