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#Like Don't Blame Me? King of My Heart?? CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT???
musicalchaos07 · 1 year
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It's just like Reputation is such a Jancy album you know?
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fangirl-dot-com · 1 month
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logan sargeant x driver!reader
🪩 synopsis: what if Logan's contract was not renewed in December of 2023? Williams makes the decision to sign Formula 2 Champion Theo Pourchaire instead. While on the other side of motor sports, IndyCar driver Y/n L/n is also cast aside like her childhood friend. With the 2024 season approaching, and no seats in sight, how will these two finally show off their skills and prove they have what it takes to be the next motor sports stars? Well, they need a fast team and a reputations era...
🖤Prologue - My Reputation's Never Been Worse
🪩Track 1 - The Beginning of an Era
🐍Track 2 - . . . Ready for It?
🌑Track 3 - Big Reputations (End Game)
😈Track 4 - I Did Something Bad
🍾Track 5 - Don't Blame Me
🥃Track 6 - Delicate
🎩Track 7 - Look What You Made Me Do
Track 8 - Gorgeous
Track 9 - Getaway Car
Track 10 - King of My Heart
Track 11 - Dress
Track 12 - Call It What You Want
Track 13 - New Year's Day
Epilogue: What Goes Around, Comes Around
💿Bonus Tracks
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aemondsladywife · 1 year
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His Lady Wife
aemond targaryen x reader
author's note: eek this is my first angst fic and i have no idea if its good so please leave comments and feedback!! its very loosely based off othello with ofc aemond as othello and the reader as desdemona. this can be read alongside my other aemond x reader but also can be read alone!! i am working on part two for my other aemond x reader but i'm struggling w ideas so please drop me a message if you have any!! also please comment if you'd like to be added to my aemond x reader taglist <3
genre: very angsty, prepare for tears
the love between aemond and his dear wife would be in the history books one day, he was sure of it. there would be songs, poems and ballads written about the ardent love between them. a love which their great, great grandchildren would aspire to have. their love was refreshing in the court, all the other marriages were ones of duty but theirs was one of love.
that was until everything tumbled down. when you first became with child, you were estatic, you ran to tell your husband, who was over the moon. however, rumours had spread of your infidelity, that you had laid with one of the knights of the kingsguard and that you were pregnant with a bastard. at first, aemond didn't believe it, his beloved wife would never do such a thing. but he started to let his self doubt overcome his love for you.
"have you seen the knight? he's a far better swordsman and far better looking than the prince, you can't blame the princess."
aemond became overcome with jealousy and insecurity. it made sense to him, why would someone as perfect as you be with something as blemished as him.
then there was the stocking incident. one of your stockings, with your initials on it was found where the kingsguard trained which led everyone, including king aegon and prince aemond to believe you to be unfaithful.
you were walking in the gardens when you saw your husband. you had a smile on your face whilst your husband barely made eye contact with you. "what is it my love, you have been ignoring me?" you asked with concern evident in your voice.
"do not call me your love when you are carrying anothers bastard." aemond replied sharply.
"you do not believe the rumours? do you? aemond i love you, you know that? please don't do this." you took a step back and could feel your voice falter.
"i have arranged for our chambers to be separated. your maids will know where it is they will take you. the king was ready to have you killed but your family are needed." he said quickly and walked straight past you. it hurt him to see that he hurt you. he wanted to go back and apologise but his pride and insecurity got the better of him.
being isolated took a toll on you and your pregnancy. you were struggling greatly with no husband or friends in court other than your handmaid who you appreciated greatly. you saw how your mother was when she was pregnant and she wasn't anywhere near as unwell as you were. you were going to send a letter to your parents asking for their guidance but decided against it, you didn't want your father to storm down kings landing. breakfast, lunches and dinners you would spend alone in your small chambers as your husband refused to be in the same room as you, which hurt you greatly. you loved aemond so dearly, you went for spending to everyday together to months apart. most days you would spend weeping in your chambers praying to the gods for any form of relief. you preferred staying in your chambers than walking around court. you would recieve stares, looks and laughs from everyone around. it broke your heart, you had good relationships with everyone, with alicent, otto, daeron, haleana and even aegon, who would refer you to as his "good sister". now they don't even look in your direction.
it was his nephews nameday celebrations which hurt you the most. you played the role of the perfect wife, in the perfect relationship which almost had you believing that aemond was still in love with you, that was until he whispered in your ear that it was all a pretence.
but that didn't stop you from loving him. though you wished it did, maybe it would hurt less if you didn't love him anymore. at whatever opportunity to ask about his wellbeing you would, you even went as far as asking his mistress, who took pity on you and kept you updated. you still prayed for his health every night and prayed that the mother would take pity on your soul and relieve you of the pain.
although aemond was smart, he wasn't as smart as his grandfather, the hand. otto had his doubts regarding the infidelity rumours he had his child spies keep tabs all over westeros and after eight months of digging, he found the truth.
"speak up boy, tell the king what you heard"
the young boy bowed to the king before the hand's spy told the council what he heard,
"the rumours regarding the princess' infidelity were created by daemon and his old whore."
aemond looked up in shock, he felt his blood boil as he held the arm of his seat tighter.
"it was said that daemon knew the easiest way to seperate the greens was through his "fickle nephew" and that once word of the princesses disrespect reached the riverlands, they would switch alleigances to the blacks."
an uncomfortable silence hung the room. all eyes were on aemond who felt a mixture of anger, guilt and distraught. he spent the past 8 months slighting and hurting his chaste lady wife. the king knew his brother well enough to know how his mind was racing,
"i promise you brother we will take down the blacks. you will be the one to take our wretched uncle yourself i swear this to you brother."
once again silence befell the room. aemonds face was unreadable. the council sat in fear of his reaction as his mother held his hand in hopes to calm him down.
"eight months. for the past eight months my lady wife has been with child with my child and i have not spent a single day with her. the lady wife who loved me so loyally has spent eight months confined to a chamber not fit for a princess because of that pathetic cunt. no, his death would not satisfy me. i need more." the calmness in aemond's voice evoked a deep fear in the room. daemon's doing caused aemond's beloved to suffer at his own hand, they all knew that aemond would not rest until she was avenged. "as for now i need to see my lady wife."
as aemond got up from his seat, a maester and midwife covered in blood, sweat and tears entered. the only lady pregnant was his wife. his heart dropped. this couldn't be happening.
"your graces. the princess entered her labours a moon early-"
before the maester could even finish, aemond ran out of the room and straight to his wifes pathetic excuse of a chamber as fast as his legs could take him with ser criston his mother, grandfather and both his brothers close behind him. when he saw the limp body of his once beloved wife he fell to his knees.
"no, no, no. wake up my love, my love please. my love i am so sorry. please no my sweet girl come back to me, open your eyes once more, you do not need to forgive me my love, i will spend the rest of eternity at your feet please just come back to me. i was wrong my love, i'm so so sorry." he cradled her dead body, begging for her to awaken, praying to every and any god to bring his sweet girl back to him. he was overcome with guilt and anguish, the last memory he had with her ended with her heart shattering.
it was two months ago. you had a feeling that something was wrong with you or your babe but none of the maesters in court believed a word you had to say since the rumours.
"please aemond just listen to me for a second, i need to see the maesters in my fathers home, they will know what to do, they saved my mother once before." you begged aemond as you trailed after him with abnormal aches in your body.
"why? so you can run off to your father with that bastard and face no consequences? no you will stay him and have that bastard here and face punishment from the king himself." there was no mercy in aemond voice or gaze. he saw the way your face and body crumpled. his words cut deeper than any blade and you couldn't hide it. he felt a pang of guilt in his heart but he pushed it aside.
aemond felt the bile rising in his throat after remembering his last encounter with you. gods he would do anything to turn back time and fix things. he was so fixated on ignoring and avoiding you that all good memories of you were distant.
"i do not remember the sound her voice mother. i do not remember the sound of the voice that spent countless nights whispering sweet nothings to ail my troubled mind. i do not remember the delicate touch of the lady who dedicated herself to comforting me." aemond confessed with a heavy heart, staring and clutching on to his wife's cold body.
"please aemond do not do this to yourself-"
"do what mother? torture myself? torture myself as i tortured my wife? as if carrying a babe was not torture enough, i tortured her even further by abandoning her when she needed me the most. she had no one apart from her one handmaiden and tis no ones fault but my own. how could i doubt her? how could i be so foolish? the last time we spoke, she insisted that something was wrong with her or the babe and i ignored her. i killed her mother."
"yes, yes you did my lord." spoke up your handmaiden with your newborn daughter sleeping soundly in her arms.
"you can cut my tongue, kill me do whatever you like with me, my loyalties are not with you but the the princess whos blood is on your hands. she loved you so dearly, yet you turned on her with no hesitation after hearing baseless rumours. her father was ready to have his men pledge alliegance to the blacks after hearing your treatment towards his only daughter but she told her father that it was all lies spread by the blacks and that you still loved her. she prayed to the gods everyday that once the babe was born and you would see how that it is your trueborn child you would love her once more. but now she is longer with us and she died with a broken heart."
as ser criston drew his sword ready to cut the throat of the maid, the prince piped up,
"leave her be ser criston. she said no word of lie. no harm should come to the only lady who stood by my beloved's side when she was alone. i am in debt to her. you are free to leave my lady, i will ensure all provisions are made for you."
"as kind as your offer is my prince, i promised the princess that in case of her untimely death, i would remain beside her daughter until her eighteenth nameday and to hand you this letter." aemond looked up for the first time since he entered the cursed chambers as your handmaid passed the baby to his mother
"i have a daughter?" his voice trembled. you both always dreamed of having a daughter and whilst he wanted his youngest child to a girl, you wanted the eldest to be a girl. but that dream was now thwarted.
alicent choked back a sob as she cradled the tiny baby in her arms. "she's tiny aemond. she has your targaryen hair and eyes but she is her mother through and through."
he was lost for words. he couldn't fight it anymore as he began to sob as he cradled your body just the way his mother cradled his babe.
"read the letter out loud my lady. i treated my wife terribly there is nothing left to hide."
your handmaid was hesitant at first but read your last letter to your husband out loud.
"my dearest husband, dear husband,
you recieve this letter due to my untimely death but our child lives on. i do not know if this is news is joyous for you or one of regret but please do not take your hatred for me out on our child. i know our child will look like you as i have never laid with another but i am unsure to if you will ever believe me.
when you remarry and have other babes of your own, ensure that they all love one another and that their stepmother loves them the same. if you cannot ensure this, send our child to my parents, where they will be cherished.
please remember the love we once shared and share that love with our babe. i know that you may not want to to keep the portraits of us and of myself, but i beg of you to do so, even if its just one of myself. i would like for our child to know what their mother looked like. regardless of what happened between us, it hurts to say that i still love you as i did when i first fell in love with you. i hoped it wouldn't end like this but the gods work in mysterious ways.
your lady wife."
no one could hold back their tears. aemond knew the letter would hurt him, but knowing that she died thinking that he hated her, that he would remarry and that he may even celebrate her death killed him. he thought that the stranger visiting him would be less painful than what he was feeling at that moment.
"leave me be, i would like to say goodbye to my wife alone."
as he gazed upon her sleeping face, it set in to him that he would never wake up to her again. he would never hear her laughter again. he would never see her smile again. he pushed her hair back behind her ear as he used and pressed his forehead against hers. he could no longer fight the tears as his voice broke whilst speaking to you one last time,
"how could i ever hate you, my perfect girl? you have been nothing but good to me. you, who showed me what love is, you who made this pointless life worth living, how could i celebrate your depature. i love you my sweet girl. i love you so so much. and how could you think i would ever remarry, my darling? you captured my heart and now you've taken it to the grave with you. i cannot explain how sorry i am, gods i hope somewhere somehow you can hear me. i pray that the gods punish me for the way i hurt you. i allowed my anger, jealousy and doubt get the better of me. i was a fool to not trust you. you shouldn't be here. you shouldn't be like this in my arms, we should be in bed, choosing names for our babe who shouldn't have been born yet. who looks just like you by the way. she's the only reason why i'm still here. for her. for you. i will tell her the stories of her one of a kind mother, i pray to the gods she'll be just like you. i will have even more paintings comissioned of us, of you my angel, anything you desire. until next time, my dearest lady wife, i love you."
as aemond laid her cold body down back on the bed, tucked her in and kissed her one last time, he found a small box under her pillows. it was covered in blood from her labors but it was still wrapped like a gift nonetheless. he opened to find 3 matching necklaces. one fit for a man. one fit for a woman. and one fit for a baby girl. all with a sapphire in the middle.
taglist: @fultimefangirl @hc-geralt-23 @vivianeviolet @whatsonthemirror @69cocktimusprime
*tags w a line through didn't work!!
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darkbluekies · 6 months
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How do you think King Edmund would react if the reader felt like a shell like she was an object to the king and has a bit of a breakdown. Would Edmund try to reassure her? Or do you think he'd just leave her alone for a while? Anyway I love your writing so much just the way the dialogue flows and just your ocs are so complex its amazing 🤌✨
(Thank you so much, it means a lot<3)
No this would break Edmund’s heart :(
The thing is, he doesn't realize that he is doing something to hurt you. This is just how he's always been. He doesn't mean to objectify you — belittle you because he thinks he's better than you, sure, but never make you feel like you're not special to him! He can't understand your pain because to him, that's his normality. He's always addressed people like this. It's just what he does, but he wants to be on good terms with you, hates fighting with you.
He'd bring you into his arms and reassure you that he doesn't see you as an object. He married you even though he didn't have to, right? Why would he go to such extremes to marry you if he thought of you as an object? Even if he couldn't understand why you got so upset, just seeing you cry makes him furious, but this time, he has no one to blame but himself.
"Who in their right mind would call you an object, my love? You know I don't mean it like that, I just- ... it's not ill intended, okay? Smile for me, I don't like seeing you cry. Can you smile for me? It'd make me so happy. There we go, good girl. Listen, if you really were an object to me, you'd be my crown because I can't live without you", he'd smile and wipe your tears. "Without my crown, I can't think, I am not myself."
But since Edmund is very self-centered and grown to this type of me-me-me thinking, he probably wouldn't be able to change his wording and actions all the time, but he'd try to make sure to talk to you like a human being and not one of his servants. Most of the time.
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Mistakes and regrets
☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader
☆ Synopsis: Loki is a prisoner that sees his way out through pretending to date you, but when he finds true love he doesn't know how to deal with the guilt of making a very similar damage to the one that had been done to him when he was used for what originally were selfish reasons.
☆ Word Count: 10.5k, I think that's my longest fic yet, and written in the shortest time lapse, not sure what that says about my mental stability rn.
☆ Notes: As I proofread I noticed this could be interpreted as generational trauma, sort of... given I made Loki sort of mirror what Odin did to him. But I wasn't trying to be deep, I just felt like shit during the week and used this to cope. The fic might be cringy as a result, I am honestly not sure.
☆ Warnings: Depression and guilt are the focus points of this storyline. Loki starts is kinda toxic his behavior here isn't meant to be romanticized or intended to be extrapolated to real life, I just wanted to explore a narrative surrounding poor decisions and the dealing of its consequences. The reader is kinda a Mary Sue of sweetness but I just wanted to hammer in Loki feeling bad and guilty. I don't know if this is a trigger but I touch the vault scene of Loki and Odin and Odin being forgiven is also handled, Idk if that's trigger warning worthy but I know most of the fandom hates him.
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“You’re not making it any for me brother.” Thor spoke through the glass.
“I want my freedom, brother.” Loki sighed, sitting down on the uncomfortable bench. “Don’t think of me as ungrateful, but as much as I appreciate not being executed, I can’t exactly call this a life.”
“Director Fury insisted, I’ve tried explaining to him that New York was a complicated situation. But he wants to be sure you are not a threat to Earth– uh, Midgard.”
“You've surely adapted well to living here” Loki rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”
“Cooperate with me, I brother” Thor begged. “I want to help you, but I need you to help me first.”
“I’m not sure what I am expected to do from here” Loki huffed annoyed.
Thor sighed and gave his little brother a sympathetic look. Loki was frustrated, and he couldn’t blame him. He would be too if he got brainwashed, had all his anger, sense of betrayal and resentment exploited to torture an innocent planet, and still be the one to pay for said crimes… Sure he wouldn’t be all jokes and laughs.
“I’ve been negotiating a way to test your stability and get your freedom” Thor smiled hoping to cheer up his brother. And he made Loki look up. “It’d be a bit uncomfortable at first. But I know you can prove yourself. You’d have to wear cuffs or a while, but you’d be free to walk around with me and the others on trips to the city.”
“Hooray…” Loki rolled his eyes.
“Please brother, I’m trying, I just need you to be patient.” Thor spoke sadly as he made his way out. “I hate this as much as you do.”
“Do you?” Loki said. “As far as I know, you’re not the one in a crystal cell.”
“Alright, almost as much as you do.” Thor joked softly and Loki did chuckle weakly.
He agreed that Thor had been furious. But it all happened so fast.
Thor had managed to land a fatal blow on Thanos’ chest and soon Steve, Natasha, and Bruce had arrived to back him up and retrieve the Infinity gauntlet. They opened a portal to bring back Tony, Doctor Strange, and the Spider Ling… And surprisingly a weird group of space travelers.
When Thor realized they could travel to anywhere in the universe they opened a portal to rescue the Asgardian ship. There were a lot of severe wounds but surprisingly Thanos had failed, he underestimated the strength of Asgard, and most people could be saved.
“Thor!” Valkyrie screamed and rushed to hug the king.
“Valkyrie! You are alright! Thank goodness!” Thor smiled in relief and hugged his friend.
“Thor you have to come quick!” Valkyrie urged him. “It’s Loki!”
Thor’s heart sank, his heart couldn’t stand burying the only family member he had left. Thor had lost his parents… he had seen his whole planet die. But not his baby brother. Not Loki. Not again.
“Please… not now… Let’s treat the wounded ones first…” Thor spoke with a knot on his throat. “I want to focus on saving lives first.”
“Thor, you don’t get it! He’s alive!” Valkyrie scolded him. “But he’s in a critical state! We need to take him to a safe place to treat him.”
A tear streamed down the new king’s face, and he felt as if he had finally put down a enormous boulder he had been holding onto. He didn’t lose Loki.
“Take me to him!” Thor urged them.
Valkyrie took Thor to a damaged room in the ship that had been used as an improvised infirmary. In the corner laid a figure Thor knew too well being treated by healers.
“Brother!” Thor said. “Oh Gods… You’re alive…”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily thunder brain… ugh…!” Loki joked weakly as he groaned in pain. The healers begged him not to move as they tried stabilizing his condition. His neck had been nearly obliterated.
It was a miracle Loki hadn’t died and that the healers had managed to find him on time.
“We couldn’t abandon him” one of the healers spoke politely to her king. “After all, it was because of you and prince Loki that Lady Valkyrie managed to evacuate the survivors. We apologize for not finding you, my king.”
“It’s no problem at all” Thor laughed in an uncharacteristically quiet manner. He was breathless. “Thank you for saving my brother’s life.”
The lady healer let out a sheepish giggle and bowed. Loki rolled his eyes, earning a lecture from the healers that were still treating him. King or not, Thor still had that charm that seemed to make most people swoon.
The reunion was interrupted by a group of soldiers that broke in with a logo on their uniforms that made Thor’s blood boil when they pointed their weapons at Loki. SHEILD.
They picked up the stretcher where Loki was laying in and took him away to lock him up.
Apparently, the news travel fast, but SHIELD travels faster, and hearing Loki was alive was enough to mobilize and capture the injured God and lock him in a crystal prison cell in a SHIELD base. If Loki had a coin for every time that happened… he’d have two.
He couldn’t say Thor didn’t do anything about it. He could hear the thunders and enraged screams from his brother, demanding for an explanation and Loki’s immediate liberation.
“I demand my brother is released immediately!” Thor yelled.
“You should consider yourself grateful we’re allowing your witches to go and heal that world-level threat! He would be better off dead!”
“Don’t you dare speak of my brother like that! Me and all of my people would’ve died if it wasn’t for him!”
Loki wasn’t sure if he was amused or if he felt bad.
It did stroke his ego being called “Asgard’s hero” in the middle of the yelling. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Nick Fury was just as loud as Thor when angry. He couldn’t complain much. It made it much easier to hear what was going on, which was good, he was too weakened to use his magic to spy on them.
The healers tending to his neck sure seemed awkward overhearing the fight. It must have been uncomfortable to be doing your job in a high security cell. So, he tried entertaining the healers as he could. Although all he got was a lecture when his magic drained his energy, and they needed him awake to monitor him.
Soon he got better, he but wasn’t allowed to be out of his cell. It was a bit nostalgic, in some dark and twisted way. It even made him want to fix his old horned helmet, even if Thor would call him a cow for wearing it.
And when things couldn’t get worse… he met you.
“It’s lunch time” a voice said in a weirdly friendly tone before you head popped by the entrance as you balanced a tray of food on your head in an attempt to amuse Loki. He wondered if there were buffoons in Midgard, but you always tried to draw a laugh from him… Tried.
“Tough crowd, eh?”
Loki couldn’t not be baffled by the way you talked to him. Although he couldn’t decide if that was because you surely knew his reputation as Midgard’s terrorist or because you always talked in a friendly and goofy tone in a maximum-security prison in a super-secret spy agency. You also seemed to be awfully young to be here, but you couldn’t be much older than the girl Barton took as his protégée.
“What’s on the menu today?” Loki asked in a more formal tone.
“Why the hurry?” you asked, “don’t tell me you got somewhere else to be.”
“You think you are a lot funnier than you really are” Loki rolled his eyes. “And it’s not very nice to make fun of someone’s disgrace.”
“I hear you think I’m at least a little bit funny” you smiled as you kept balancing the tray of food on your head.
“Please don’t drop my food, I’d like to have at least something to eat” he rolled his eyes.
You tripped on your feet, and he saw the tray falling down, you caught it last second with your shins, and gave him a little sheepish grin.
“Alright, alright, I’m impressed” Loki groaned. “Can I eat now please? Or is having you torment me part of some attempt to break me?”
“Why are you so moody?” you asked. “More than usual, I mean.”
“I’m starving, and you humans eat way too little” Loki finally admitted. “But that is still better than nothing… Please.”
You stopped playing around and you looked at him as you got the tray into his cell.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were eating so little.” You admitted.
“I barely have energy to cast small illusions, which would serve to entertain myself.” Loki complained as he sat to eat and you sat by the table and looked at him, you didn’t seem afraid, curious at most. You watched him eat and took his dirty plates by the end.
You weirded him out.
You always did something along the same lines; you came to bring him food, teased him a little and then left when you were gone. Although this time you had asked more questions about him. And you seemed more pensive while he ate.
And later that day he got a surprise. Usually, he just saw you to deal with you while he ate. But today you returned with a brown paper bag on your hands and a backpack, you never carried personal objects with you.
“What now?” he groaned.
You said nothing but opened the door to pass him food and slid the bag inside. Loki opened his end and grabbed the bag, it was warm, and it had a strong smell inside, he reached and pulled out a weird soft cushion with a white cover.
“Bur…ger? What this?” he asked as he read the yellow letters.
“It’s food” you smiled. “Cafeteria is closed until dinner, so I thought bringing you something else might boost your mood.”
“This looks like junk” he snarled, making you laugh.
“It’s something like that.”
Loki looked inside the bag and looked at you.
“There’s no fork.”
“You eat it with your hands” you smiled and pretended to grab a burger and bite it. “Like a sandwich.”
“What’s a sandwich?” Loki asked, making you laugh again.
Loki tried to take a bit, imitating your gesture, but you stopped with a squeaky laugh.
“Unwrap it first!” you laughed. “The white thing paper is not edible.”
Usually Loki would’ve argued more. But he had been really hungry, so he agreed.
“The taste is agreeable enough.”
“Try the fries!” you said eagerly.
“These yellow sticks?” he asked pulling out one fry from the bag, and you giggle once again, he was learning you were quite easy to amuse.
“Yes, the yellow sticks, they’re potatoes with salt and soaked in hot oil to cook them” you smiled.
“That sounds unhealthy” he said, but he surely didn’t pass up the extra meal, and while he’d never admit it, but it was tasty.
“It is on the long run” you agreed. “But you don’t eat these every day. It’s more like… something you eat when you particularly crave it. Like a treat.”
“What’s on your bag?” Loki asked, a lot more agreeable now with a full stomach.
“Ah, you said you didn’t have much to do” you said and passed him bag. “It’s a portable DVD player and old movies.”
“I understood the word portable from that whole sentence” Loki said in an obvious tone.
He wasn’t new to technology, but unlike Earth, Asgard only used technology for practical purposes like travel and fighting. Never for entertainment.
“You can watch recorded over produced plays on the screen” you said adapting to what Loki might be familiar with. “Fury said you can’t have access to internet, so I thought since I don’t use this anymore it’d keep you entertained while Thor negotiates your freedom. And if you need something else, I could surely get it for you.”
Loki was trying to process it all while he followed your instructions to set up the devices you brought him. Now he’d finally give some use to the electricity plugins on his cell.
“Why are you so nice to me?” Loki asked.
“I don’t know” you shrugged. “You seem like you could use some kindness.”
“I’m a charity case?” Loki asked, not sure if he was thankful or offended.
“You wish. If I was charitable, I would’ve brought a fancy brand of fast food, and you’re a good junkyard to bring my old stuff” you snarled, making Loki laugh, for real this time.
Your cheeks flushed and were soon surrounded in a clod of silver mist. And when it disappeared you had vanished already.
Now that… Loki didn’t see coming. He had heard of your kind when he took control of some of SHIELD agents, humans with supernatural abilities. You were a mutant, and for the looks of it, one with teleportation powers. Now it made sense why someone seemingly so ordinary was in a place like this, flirting with a prisoner.
Interesting.
The next few days you kept bringing him food as usual, but two things had changed. One, the portions were bigger now, Loki now got to eat to a point where he was satisfied. Two, you joked around a lot less, in fact, you simply brought the food and stayed nearby in silence, and Loki had caught you staring at him with rosy cheeks.
So, you did fancy him… Truly interesting. And quite flattering too, he at least had to agree you were quite appealing to stare at.
“I watched one of your… Dee Bee Dees…” Loki started the conversation while he ate. “The one with the funny doctor…”
“That… doesn’t narrow it down much” you finally spoke. “Sarcastic asshole with a wounded leg?”
“He is sarcastic, but he treats patients with joy and laughter and goes against the rules. Like the pair of legs at the entrance” Loki specified. “It was a sweet story… I did feel bad for him when he lost his… you know.”
“Ah, yeah…” you said sadly.
For a few more days, the routine kept like that, you seemed a lot shyer than before and now Loki was the one pursuing your attention and with an arsenal of movies you had watched he always had a way to start conversation.
When he was sure he had properly understood your interest in him, he made his move.
While Loki wasn’t as flashy as Thor, he never had much trouble swooning anyone of his interest, with years of etiquette lessons and nourishing his mind with the most exquisite novels and books Asgard had to offer he knew how to charm anyone he desired.
And soon enough he was courting you. He recited for you the collection of the most exquisite verses he had memorized and casted his illusions of roses and butterflies for you to enjoy a romantic set up.
Soon Fury had two people demanding for his liberation. And since Loki had been in his best behavior Fury didn’t have an excuse to keep Loki locked up and while he had a tracker on his ankle and Asgardian magic bracelets capable of suppressing his magic.
You were there when they let Loki out and he made sure to hug you first. The more in love he seemed, the sooner he’d be truly free. You melted against his embrace and wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug.
Loki felt a light tug on his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone out of his parents and Thor been so eager and happy to hug him.
“I had been dreaming of this…” you spoke softly. “And your hugs are even cozier than I imagined.”
That felt like a dagger to his heart. Why were you so sweet?
“Alright, Bambi, if you try something your little sweetheart will let us know right away, got it?” Tony warned him.
You wrapped your arms around Loki’s bicep pressing yourself against him.
“He’s gonna be perfect” you defended him. “And if I’m wrong you can lock me up as well for helping a criminal out.”
Second dagger. What kind of idiot were you trusting him so blindly? Could you really not see he just wanted his freedom?
Loki finally had a proper room, or something like that. He would be staying in the Avengers Compound when the Helicarrier landed… until then there was a room where he, Thor, and basically everyone stayed.
Your bed the one right above Loki’s. Loki sighed. Just a few more days. Loki laid down and saw you looking down at him, peeking from your bed with big sparkling eyes.
“Yes?” Loki said in his best sweet loving tone.
“S-Sorry…” you mumbled as your cheeks got red. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”
“Aww, young love…” Kate cooed.
“SHUT UP! I’M OLDER THAN YOU!” you screeched and threw a pillow right at her face, making Loki smiled softly.
“You’re both babies…” Yelena grinned.
“Shut up, you hag!” you and Kate argued.
“You’re all babies…” Bucky corrected.
“DON’T STICK YOUR NOSE, YOU FOSSIL!” the three of you argued.
“I’m… not gonna join this argument being 1,500 years old” Thor laughed and soon eased the mood in all laughter again.
Meanwhile Loki wouldn’t stop thinking what you said to him. “I’m happy you’re here.” Third stab… How could you be so happy and attached to him so easily and quickly?
The next few days he had resigned to adapt to train with you. He had been a warrior all his life, but being a soldier was too boring for him. It was a lot of training, gym workouts, more training, and meetings. He saw you nodding off during the latter. Where did you pull the energy to play and joke around with him when you went to bring food to him while he had been locked up?
You yawned and rested against his shoulder as you dozed off during lunch once. You were so warm and trusted him more than he deserved. You seemed awfully comfortable around him.
Every spare moment you had was dedicated to him, you were awfully cuddly and touchy. Loki wasn’t used to this in the slightest. At first playing along seemed impossible. But your kisses were so gentle and tender, more often than not he found his eyes fluttering close and his hands wrapping around your waist in a loving way. Even sharing a room with a lot of people seemed more fun if he got to study your reactions.
“Take that!” you screamed as you and Kate smacked each other with pillows, but when a stray pillow hit Natasha in the back of the head, it was war.
Everyone was throwing and hitting each other with pillows until someone pushed you to Loki’s arms who had stayed out of the war as just a bystander. No one seemed to be paying much attention to him, but now you were.
Your face was beet red, and you were blabbering apologies if you had hurt him, (which, you hadn’t). But Loki simply smiled and grabbed your sides and started squeezing them, causing you to squeal and burst out laughing.
Oh, of course you were ticklish, he should’ve known. Hel, you irradiated this aura that just screamed “tickle me!” And as the God of Mischief, he was drawn to ticklish little things such as yourself, to make sure he could exploit every ticklish little inch of your giggly body. It had always been a pretty harmless way to ease his need to cause mayhem.
Soon the entire room was in fits of laughter since Loki had unintentionally inspired a tickle war.
“H-Hohohohoney! Pleahahahahase!” you begged Loki, “thahahahahat tickles!”
“So? I hope it doesn’t bother you, my dear” Loki purred in your ear as his fingers traveled up and down your ribs, causing you to screech. “I think I’d like to play with my pretty little toy some more…”
“Nohohohoho! Please! Hehehehehe! S-Stop it!” you giggled until you had proofed to reappear at the top bunk bed, right by the time someone else had surrendered and called truce.
Thor. His stomach was sore from laughing and he needed a break. But the big Asgardian was confident enough to not be affected by being the one to surrender in such harmless play fight.
“I’m nostalgic” Thor laughed. “Reminds me of the sleep overs with Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif.”
“I wouldn’t know, I was never invited.” Loki said.
“WHAT?!” you gasped and threw a pillow at Thor’s head in Loki’s defense. “JERK! TO YOUR OWN BROTHER!”
“What do you mean?” Thor asked. “You rejected us every time.”
“What are you talking about? You never invited me, brother” Loki explained. “By the time I had found out, you were all locked in your chambers.”
“Sif and the guys always said you said no” Thor said. “That’s why I always made smaller sleepovers with just you and me. I thought you hated big groups.”
Loki never thought Thor had been clueless, if anything he thought it had been him who rejected him, it never occurred to him it was the rest that orchestrated Loki’s exclusion. It made sense in retrospect, they were more Thor’s friends, not Loki’s.
“I enjoy time to myself,” Loki agreed. “But I’ve never been against big events. I always thought it was you who didn’t want me near your friends…”
“Of course not, brother…”
“Don’t feel bad, Loki” Yelena said in a tone that eased the mood. “Nat used to have sleepover with friends and ban me from her room the whole night. But we’re sisters, adopted or not.”
“I said I was sorry, and I was 11 you resentful crybaby!” Natasha argued with a laugh.
You noticed that had hit a sensitive spot-on Loki and went to sit behind Loki to give him a hug from behind. And it was unexpectedly comforting, he sighed as you kissed his cheek. Growing more and more used to your doting affection, you were also rather good to read his mood by now.
It just made him feel more guilty, so he tried changing the subject.
“You poof around when tickled, hm?” Loki chuckled. “Noted.”
“Not just when I’m tickled, when I get worked up by almost anything…” you explained. “I can’t always control it.”
“I see… so, I get you all worked up…” Loki flirted, making you jolt and squeak with a red face. “Heh… I’m flattered.”
“What about you?” you asked when you calmed down, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Does something like that happen to you?”
“Mmm… my magic is also very tied to my feelings is mostly surges of magic when I’m pissed off.” Loki shrugged. “In a way, the source of my magic abilities come from my control of how I feel. Which is why Thor could never learn sorcery… he couldn’t ever keep calm and focus enough.”
It felt a bit of a cheap answer, his guilt told him you were always vulnerable with him. There was another thing…
Alright, now that no one was paying attention to you two.
“When I was little, I used to have a lot of nightmares, and my mother stayed with me and taught me this spell… it allows you to invite someone else to your dreams, to put it simply. She taught me that spell to help me with the bad dreams… And sometimes I still cast it involuntarily while I sleep. It’s… what’s the word? Automatic, at this point.”
“You haven’t used it since we met” you pointed out.
“There’s these preventing that” Loki wiggled the magic cuffs on his wrists, and you shrank sheepishly. “Maybe one day I’ll have you sleep visiting… who knows…”
You smiled too eagerly at the idea… it was painful to see the adoration in your eyes.
The next night you were chatting happily, you laid on the floor with your feet hanging on Loki’s bed. Surprisingly he didn’t mind too much, he found himself much more engaged on the conversation. He simply rested his hand on your shin, caressing it with his thumb.
But at some point during the chat his hand brushed by your ankle, something that should’ve caught his attention way sooner. A location tracker like his. He brushed his fingers along the band, and you jolted, quickly making a bad excuse before rushing out. A terrible liar dating the god of lies. How ironic.
“I didn’t know… I thought I was the only one with one of these…” Loki pointed to his tracker.
“All mutants and non-SHIELD affiliated have one” Tony explained with a yawn. “Basically, if you have superpowers, you have two options, be an agent or an avenger.”
“Or locked up” Loki concluded, and the way no one answered, confirming his suspicion.
“You’re gonna be joining us, right, brother?” Thor smiled.
“Do I have a choice?”
Loki chuckled, he had been thinking about this prior to this information, the fear of actually losing his brother when Thor was ready to leave him forever in Sakaar had been too great.
But what about you? You didn’t strike him the superhero style, a were a fragile and sensitive little thing, and he couldn’t picture you in the battlefield, but being a soldier was clearly taking a huge toll on you. You seemed perpetually exhausted living like this.
“Has my darling decided yet?” Loki asked, he didn’t plan on the pet names, but it felt weirdly natural as it rolled off his tongue. It felt right.
“Not before meeting you, we had tried, but I’d say with you two together… things have changed for the better.” Steve assured him. “It’s a relief though, you two would be great assets in the future, and the life at the compound is bit freer and more independent.”
For some reason, Loki smiled at the sound of that.
“It’s gonna be for the best” Bruce smiled. “Fury can be quite severe, and the soldier life isn’t for everyone…”
Loki couldn’t see you long term here, you’d be overworking yourself for a lifestyle too demanding and that you didn’t even like. It would be for the best to be an Avenger… at least that’d give you some more freedom.
By then, the mood had died down and everyone went to bed, turning off the lights way before you arrived. A few more minutes passed… and nothing. Loki considered going to find you when you opened the door, guiding your way with your phone’s flashlight. You had a messy damp ponytail, and baggy pajamas. You arrived and sat by Loki’s bed and immediately collapsed right beside him, invading his bed. He was ready to climb and use yours when you he felt a tug on his shirt.
“Let me stay with you…” you mumbled with your eyes closed, it seemed you still had some consciousness.
Loki nodded and laid down beside you, wrapping his arm over you, and tucking you under the bedsheets. He had to keep appearances. Yeah… Of course.
He studied you for a while. Your hair was soft, and it smelled like wild berries, shampoo he had started using as well because it smelled so nice. Your skin was soft and smooth, it was addictive to trace his fingers along your body. He traced circles along your side.
“Nooo… thahahat tickles…” you giggled and shifted in your half-asleep state, making something stir within Loki. “You can tickle me all you want in the morning, okay baby…?”
“Ohoho! Is that so?” Loki chuckled. “That’s dangerous thing to offer to the God of Mischief don’t you think?”
“’s okay… I trust you…” you yawned snuggling against his chest.
“Y-You do…?”
“You’d never do anything to hurt me…” you assured him, even with your brain fighting with all it’s might to not succumb to exhaustion.
Once his eyes adapted to the darkness, he stared at your face. Your features were gentle, with a pureness that only a heart that hadn’t been corrupted with cruelness and malice would have. It made him feel weak.
“I love you” you mumbled, kissing his lips before finally falling asleep with the most peaceful smile he had ever seen on anyone that was this close to him.
“I… I love you too…” he whispered and kissed the top of your head.
Now Loki genuinely wanted to stab himself through the chest, he deserved nothing less.
The next morning was the last time he’d be in the Helicarrier for a long time if he could help it. Both of you got the trackers removed and he was officially free. The magic cuffs were taken off of Loki and he immediately summoned a huge illusion that had a radius of a few kilometers as he stretched and showed off.
A huge double rainbow, oh how he had missed using his magic like this. He noticed your eyes sparkling in admiration.
Thor helped him unpack and you two were assigned neighbor bedrooms so the lovey dovey couple could stay close. You seemed ecstatic, you set your room and invited him to see it.
It was very much what he expected from you. Cozy and cute, just being inside made him want to lay down on your bed and sleep. And of course you had a pile of stuffed animals. He laid back on your bed, sinking in the mattress and fluffy covers.
Adorable.
“Honey bunny, I’m gonna go to the city alone today… don’t follow me” you warned him and proofed away before reappearing for a second. “And don’t snoop around my stuff! Love ya!”
And you disappeared in a gust of silvery white mist. Loki napped on your bed for a while, but… he couldn’t resist, he was curious by nature. He walked by your desk and saw the mirror of had a bunch of photos of him stuck to the board, he wasn’t smiling in any of them, and most had been taken him by surprise. Loki would’ve thought it weird, but the two of you were dating. And you only did what was normal for someone in a relationship. He smiled softly at how purely infatuated you were.
“Loki!” you called for him, so you had returned. He went to find you.
You had smiled so brightly as you jumped to his arms and showered his face in loving smooches.
“I missed you!” you smiled between kisses.
“You just left an hour or so…” he chuckled.
“It’s still too much time away from you!” you snuggled with him. “I missed this pretty face.”
“Heh…” he chuckled.
“I bought us something.” You smiled and handed him a golden bracelet with a round item on the middle. You kept the silver one. “It’s a distance touch bracelet.”
You touched your bracelet, and he felt his buzzing. Oh. He knew this couldn’t have been cheap. And you still didn’t hesitate to get it for him.
“Now you can feel me close, even if I vanish, or if we can’t be with each other.” You giggled.
His heart fluttered. How could there be someone so overly sweet? To him, of all people.
“Thank you…” he smiled.
Days passed and Loki’s sanity was evaporating in thin air. Guilt was eating him alive.
You were in truly, madly, and hopelessly in love with him. You wanted nothing but the best for him and you always showered him with love, affection and the sweetest kisses he had ever tasted. And worst of it all, he was falling in love with you. He deserved no love from you, but he had it… And it filled his heart with a warmth he didn’t deserve. Oh, you poor lovely thing, if you only knew how cruel his intentions had been to start your relationship.
He did what you wanted now, trying to make up for it. He didn’t want you to feel like you did all the job in a relationship anymore. Soon the photos were more couple y, of kisses and hugs, Loki took photos of you more as well. He invited you to read and nap with him.
He tickled you lots, and making you giggle in his arms as he held you close. He hugged you tight, trying to squeeze in all the love he had develop for the kind soul that had been nothing but sweet to him. In a wordless pray for your forgiveness.
He did everything that occurred to him would make you happy.
“No way! You’re ticklish?!” you gasped with an ear-to-ear grin.
“Terribly so, I can’t stand being ticked in between my ribs” he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, with you sitting on his lap. “My magic acts up on its own if I get overwhelmed, like you.”
“Really?” you giggled and caressed his sides. “Can I try?”
“For a kiss…” he smiled and puckered his lips for a smooch, which you complied with a huge grin. “I adore you… Fine, you got one minute to tickle my ribs.”
“Just one minute?” you whined with that lovely smile of yours.
“Thirty seconds?” he smiled.
“Eh?!” you whined. “One minute!”
“See how convincing I am?” he grinned.
“Oh, you—” you said and turned around to start poking and prodding his ribs, Loki couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“Ack! Hehehehe!” he whined, you were too good at this, he was laughing his heart out. “S-Stohohohop! Hehehehe! I-It’s been a minute! Hahaha! S-Stop!”
“I’m not done with you, you pretty tease!” you giggled and kept prodding between his ribs.
“Oh yeheheah?!” he laughed and skittered his fingers along your belly.
You were squealing and giggling in the blink of an eye. But you didn’t stop tickling him.
“Hehehehe! Hic! G-Give up!” you giggled and squirmed as you prodded his sides.
“You give up! Hahahahaha!” he giggled squeezed your tummy and skittered his fingers along your armpits.
“Ack! Noohohohoho!” you whine and squeezed above his kneecaps, making him jump and ergo you fell off his lap and onto the couch.
“You’re in trouble…” he grinned and his fingers, poked, drilled, kneaded and scratch over every sensitive spot on your body, and it didn’t matter if you gave up. He didn’t stop until you were breathless.
Only then he stopped and held you in his arms.
“Remind me to not tickle you again, you’re sadistic” you smiled.
“You know it, darling…” he smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Did you have fun?”
“Mhm…” you smiled and leaned against him. “I love you.”
You were beyond ecstatic. You melted under all of his affection and more time he spent with you, the more he couldn’t deny his feelings for you.
He did it everything he could to make you happy. But nothing he did alleviated his guilt. He could only imagine the amount of heartache you would feel if you found out he had only used you to try looking better adjusted and be free, and that he had pretended to fall in love.
He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. He was going insane. He walked around the compound like a ghost during the night. He did a stop to throw up in the toilet.
“You’re awake,” you surprised him despite your gentle tone. “Is something bothering you?”
“N-No, love. I just wasn’t feeling very tired.” He assured you. “Don’t worry. Go back to sleep.”
You placed your hands on his hips and leaned closer to him the way you did whenever you were going to kiss him. But you took a little sniff—probably smelling his bad breath—you stopped and smiled at him with kindness.
“Mmm… Insomnia, hm?” you smiled and pulled him to the kitchen. “I know just the cure.”
You heated up water and prepared him a tea with honey. The warmth of the drink ran through him as the sweet drink got rid of the bad taste, and he sighed a tear streaming down his face.
“What’s wrong?” you asked, cupping his face.
“I’ve done so many awful things… And…” he spoke softly. “I don’t know how to fix them… I don’t deserve any forgiveness…”
“Oh Loki…” you hugged him. “No one blames you… you didn’t mean it… I’ve seen your pretty heart, and you deserve all the love in the world… Gosh, if I could take all the pain, you’re feeling for myself, I would.”
“Please don’t say that…” he begged. He couldn’t handle anymore guilt, but he didn’t know how to tell you the truth.
You gently guided him to your bedroom and tucked him in your bed, wrapping your arms around him in a protective way.
“Forgive me love... Please forgive me…” he begged between mutters. “I take it all back… please… Please don’t hate me… please…”
“Shh…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s all gonna be okay… I’m always gonna be here for you.”
               Between the warm tea, his exhaustion, the previous sleepless nights, your comfortable bed, and your loving touch… his body gave up on him and he fell asleep.
Everything was dark, and cold, covered in ice and a cruel wind. Loki had a good tolerance to cold, but he was freezing.
“Monster…” a voice echoed so loudly it made Loki’s ears ring. It was his own voice and it came from everywhere around him.
“Traitorous rat…”
“Murderer…”
“Beast…”
“Liar…”
“Frost giant…”
“Monster…”
“Manipulator…”
“Liar…”
“We finally had someone’s trust…”
“Of course, you just play around with others!”
Loki was completely surrounded by copies of himself, all at least twice his size, blue skin, Jotun attire, and eyes red like blood. True frost giants.
Loki simply took every blow and insult. He deserved them.
“Loki…?” a different voice called. “Is this what you meant by inviting someone to your dreams?”
No please… you couldn’t be here.
“Darling… wake up… please don’t be here…” Loki begged you. “Please…”
“I’m not leaving you here on your own…” you spoke and kneeled beside him.
Loki felt his body change, every muscle vanished leaving him as practically skin and bones. Small. Weak.
“Loki… what’s going on?! What’s happening to you?!”
Loki tried to shapeshift back to his natural look, but he had no control of his own body. At this point in life, he should be desensitized to nightmares where his magic didn’t obey him… but…
“Please… leave me here…” he spoke as he could, but he could barely hear himself.
“Don’t say that... What’s… what can I do for you?”
There was something about dreams, and especially Loki’s dreams, that always seemed to be extra dramatic. It must have been so confusing to be in one as an outsider.
Loki’s body changed again, he grew twice his usual size, and his body was blue and muscled. Exactly the body of a Jotun.
“STOP BEING SO GOOD TO ME! CAN’T YOU SEE I DON’T LOVE YOU?!”
“What?!”
What?! No! That wasn’t true…
Loki tried to take it back, but he was in autopilot. He was in the passenger seat of his own mind.
“I DON’T LOVE YOU! ARE YOU THAT GULLIBE TO THINK I’D FALL IN LOVE WITH A MORTAL?! I HAVE BEEN USING YOU!”
“No… no, you're not… You wouldn’t…”
“I JUST NEEDED A COVER, TO SEEM WELL ADJUSTED ENOUGH TO NOT BE A PRISONER! AND YOU WERE ANNOYING ENOUGH TO BARGE IN DEFENSE OF ME! I’V BEEN PLAYING WITH YOU FROM DAY ONE! DON’T YOU SEE YOU ARE JUST A TOY?! YOU’RE PATHETIC!”
The look on your face was heartbreaking. You looked crushed.
“I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF A WAY TO GET RID OF YOU! I CAN’T SLEEP AND I WANT TO THROW UP THINKING I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU YET ANOTHER DAY!”
You curled up on the floor and Loki lifted you but your collar’s shirt.
“GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD! I COULD NEVER LOVE A MORTAL AS UNNERVING AS YOU!” Loki screamed at you before slamming you against the floor.
“NO!” Loki sat up with a gasp and his body drenched in sweat. He looked around and saw you curled up on the bed, your back facing him. “Love?! Thank goodness… I’m so— Love, w-what’s wrong…?”
You were stiff and you had a hand on the back of your head. Loki shifted and stretched a bit and saw your face. Your eyes were full of tears, yet he had never seen you with such a cold expression in your face.
“My love… and what’s wrong?” Loki placed a hand over your arm, and you slapped it.
“Why did you say that?” you asked him.
“I d-don’t know… I wasn’t… I didn’t…” Loki stuttered. “My dreams are like that…”
“No. I mean, what you said was really specific. Why…?”
“I don’t—I don’t know why I—”
“Tell me the truth, Loki.” You ordered him. “Did you, or did you not pretend to love me for your freedom?”
Loki stayed quiet. He didn’t have the courage to tell you the truth, but he didn’t have the heart to keep lying to you. With that confirmation tears started falling down your cheeks again.
“Y-Yes but I—that was before…”
“Get out…” you spoke.
“What? No, darling, listen… I…”
“I don’t want to hear you.”
“Please love… let me explain…” he tried holding you.
That made you snap. You started hitting him, being a human it was impossible for you to harm him, but not once in his life had he felt more pain.
“DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TALK TO ME!”
“Darling please…”
“I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN! GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!”
He had no strength to fight you, he was defenseless as you kicked him out of your room, slamming the door on his face.
There were a few faces popping out of their door to try seeing what had happened and that quickly retreated back to their rooms. Loki had no choice but to go inside of his own bedroom.
The next morning, he nearly tripped on his way out with a box by is door. It was full of books, quills, a coat, photos of you together. And… the silver bracelet that matched his own. It tore his heart to shreds. He didn’t feel as guilty anymore. But remorse and the memory of how brokenhearted you looked was even more sadistic. He heard you crying often from across the wall.
A few days later the others started giving him dirty looks. Knowing you and considering that this didn’t happen right away he assumed they had found out after heavy interrogation and now everyone knew he had used you. Even Thor seemed upset, not angry, but he had this… disappointment in his eyes.
“I hate dealing with moving companies” Tony sighed as they all sat for dinner. “But Fury wants to have our little Houdini enlisted by the end of the week. It’s a shame… The kiddos enjoyed being around each other.”
“Tell me about it” Clint sighed. “Kate is devastated.”
“Speaking of devastated…” Natasha said as she stood up, and Loki would’ve sworn she was shooting daggers at him with that glare. “See if I can be more convincing about eating something, otherwise Fury will have a corpse enlisting.”
You were moving out? To become a SHIELD agent? But you hated being a soldier. Had he hurt you so bad that you preferred that lifestyle and ruin your life forever… than being around him?
This all felt awfully familiar. Loki excused himself and went to his room and lock himself inside. He closed his eyes, and part of him wished that they’d never open again.
“Am I cursed?” Loki asked, choked up by the last bit of hope.
“No.” Odin responded the worst thing he could've said him. A curse would've been better.
Loki placed the casket down, weakly, it suddenly felt like a very... very heavy thing to carry. And the weight stayed there, right on his chest even after the casket had been placed back at the pedestal.
“Then what am I?” Loki asked softly, afraid of the answer.
“You're my son.” Odin answered, and Loki doubted his own magic since he couldn't detect dishonesty in his father's words.
Clearly that was a lie. So why didn’t his magic detect that? Loki felt rage spiral out of control like a boiling pot.
“What more than that?” Loki growled, still trying to keep his composure as he walked towards his father that was by the stairs at the other side of the corridor. “The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”
Odin looked him in the eye. Unable to deny it any longer. It had been to many years with that secret. As Loki walked closer, Odin just started at him in silence as Loki reached the stairs.
“No.” Odin finally said. “In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring— abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son.”
That felt like a dagger piercing the young prince’s heart. Out of all the things he was insecure about, it turned out he WAS an outsider. Out of all the things he could’ve been, he HAD to be a Jotun, a monster. Out of all the Jotun’s in existence, he was the son of the worst of them all. And out of all the reasons he could’ve been adopted for, was because even his own biological family didn’t want him… and his adopted family never told him any of this.
“Laufey's son...?” Loki finally managed to gasp out, he was choking up on his own tears. “Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?”
“You were an innocent child.” Odin said, sounding more exhausted by the second.
“No!” Loki begged his father, knowing that Odin was a strategic warrior. There was always a meaning behind his actions. “You took me for a purpose, what was it?”
But Odin didn’t answer. The physical toll of delaying his Odin sleep to prepare Thor to rule, preventing a war, the emotional toll of having to banish Thor and now… having his youngest child doubt his love for him because of his foolish decision of not telling him the truth earlier were overwhelming him.
The All-King saw with pain how the little child that once smiled at him with love when he picked him in his arms after the battle now saw him with fear, pain, and resentment.
“TELL ME!” Loki demanded loudly, no longer capable of remaining calm.
“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you.” Odin confessed.
That was the final blow to Loki’s poor heart.
“What…?”
A tool. All he had been adopted for was as an instrument of peace between Asgard and a race that everyone saw as blood-thirsty monsters.
“But those plans no longer matter.” Odin clarified.
“So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up… here, until you might have use of me.” Loki inquired in pain.
“Why do you twist my words?” Odin asked softly.
“You could have told me what I was from the beginning.” Loki urged, desperate to makes sense of what easily was the worst day of his life. “Why didn't you?!”
“You are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.” Odin said softly, in a fruitless attempt to calm his poor child’s heart.
“Wh— B-Because I-I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?!” Loki asked, flooded by all the scary stories about the frost giants growing up. All those times he and Thor played heroes as kids fighting those monsters.
“Don't...” Odin begged as his strength slowly abandoned him.
But Loki couldn’t listen anymore. The grief was too great, and the feeling of betrayal didn’t allow him to trust Odin anymore.
“It all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years.” Loki yelled as he started walking up the stairs to yell at Odin as the All-Father slowly lost his strength and started passing out on the stairs. “Because no matter how much you claim to “love” me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!”
Odin kept trying until his last second of consciousness to beg his son for help, forgiveness… anything. But he had been too weakened to dedicate his young boy some kind of love or reassurance as he fell prey to the Odin sleep, he had delaying for so long.
Now Loki encountered a similar dilemma. He had been stupid, dishonest, and selfish to someone who offered him nothing but unconditional love. He betrayed your trust and there was no way now that Loki could prove that despite his original intentions his love wasn’t any less real.
He laid down on his bed, with his arm draped dramatically over his eyes.
“Troubled, my son?” a voice spoke making Loki sit up.
“Father” Loki smiled softly. “I ruined it. I had the most beautiful love in my life… and I was stupid and lost it because of my own selfishness.”
“That sounds familiar” Odin chuckled. “You truly are my son, after all.”
“You had always been will always be my father…” Loki said the words he had denied for several years. “I never understand your reasons. Cruel as they were…”
“Not holding back against your old father, hm?” Odin laughed.
“Sorry…” Loki smiled softly.
“My original reasons were foolish, selfish, and even cruel as you rightfully… but I always hoped to do what would be best for the 9 Realms” he spoke. “But that didn’t mean the love I had for you wasn’t any less real. You are my son, regardless of the kind of blood that coursed through your veins.”
Loki smiled softly; it was weird. He knew Odin would have never say all that. But now, after growing up so much, he understood it wasn’t because he didn’t feel it, he had always been too proud and formal, too much of a king. And while imperfect, it was still his father.
“That’s why you never caught me lying when I called you my son or said that I loved you.” Odin spoke. “In my heart, you’ve always been my son.”
“I know, father” Loki smiled. “I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it.”
“I’m sorry I never told you before… I feared you wouldn’t take it well…”
“Me? I would never” Loki joked softly.
“We always loved you as our own” a female voice added making Loki turned around.
“Mother.” Loki spoke breathless. “I know… I know… I knew, I was just too scared I could’ve been wrong, and you didn’t…”
“You were too much of a charming kid not to love you” Frigga said compassionately. “Your little human surely thinks so too.”
Ah… that… Loki wasn’t so sure.
“I ruined it, I deserve nothing but the hatred and disgust I’ve earned from my darling.” Loki huffed out. “I manipulated, lied, and destroyed the trust of my love.”
“Dear, there’s nothing final in these matters…” Frigga smiled softly. “If that loved blossomed once, you may rescue it and nourish it again. But first… you need to apologize.”
“I don’t think I’m wanted anywhere near hearing range.” Loki explained.
“Do you think the love between your mother, and I always had a perfect relationship?” Odin smiled.
“Your father was too temperamental for that” Frigga intervened with a smile and both parents looked at each other with love. “But when you truly love someone and you make a mistake, you swallow your pride and make up for your wrongdoings.”
Loki smiled softly, he remembered it well. When Odin’s temper got the best of him because of the stress of being a king, Odin made sure to make up for Frigga know how truly sorry he was, and Frigga who already knew her husband’s temper was an expert on not letting her affect her, knowing it was never personal. She had truly been blessed with infinite patience given she dealt with three men with bad tempers and yet her kindness and loving nature knew no end. It was not rare to see Odin gifting Frigga fancy gifts and spend long hours apologizing and dedicating the day to her. It wasn’t the perfect arrangement, but no relationship was.
Loki chuckled softly.
“Thanks…” he smiled and both parents tended a hand to him with a smile. “I know what I have to do.”
Ready to say goodbye, Loki placed his hands on top of Odin and Frigga’s, and with that, the figure of his parents faded under a green light as Loki’s palms stopped glowing. Loki let out a little laugh as he wiped his tears.
His illusions had never been so benevolent towards himself, they were either torturous or for a fake sense of gloating and dissociation. But your compassion had changed him forever. He could use them for closure and to guide him with the stuff he knew but needed to hear. And… you deserved that at least.
He got up and went outside and went to a trip. It took him around an hour to get to the city and a couple more hours to get his several stops get several gifts. A lovely white bouquet of flowers, a box of your favorite chocolates, a necklace with a cute silver heart shaped locket and got it printed with a small photo, a copy of a photo he had carried from one of your first “dates” you got where you were giving him a small kiss in the cheek and cupped the other one, a symbol of your shared love.
On his way back, Loki held the original photo close to his chest and sighed. He prayed this would work as he was on his way to see you. He knocked on your door and hid his gifts behind himself, not even remembering he could’ve concealed them with his magic from how nervous he was.
His chest tightened as you opened the door, your eyes and nose were red, and your cheeks were stained with tears. Oh Norns… He had hurt you really bad.
“Love… Please… let me explain” Loki spoke softly.
“What do you need to explain, Loki?” you asked and sniffled, practically murdering him when you called him Loki instead of one of your lovely cheesy pet names. “That I was just a toy for you to play with and pretend that you loved me, so you’d be a free man? I got that quite clearly.”
You were ready to slam the door on his face, but he reached his leg to stop you. He nearly dropped one of your gifts. You looked at him confused, eying him up and down before sighing in defeat, opening the door he walked inside of your little room. He saw the little night table covered with used tissues and the bed’s decorative cushions were all over the place. It broke his heart.
“What do you want, Loki?” you asked tiredly as you sat on the bed, placing a cushion on your lap and against your chest.
“My darling, I was the biggest, most cruel and inconsiderate imbecile of all 9 Realms” he said, kneeling before you as he handed you the bouquet of flowers. You gently placed the flowers on your lap, still looking at him.
“It is true, that I was looking to just find a relationship to pretend I had adapted to living on earth” he spoke. “It was a selfish, shallow, and dishonest reason to make you mine… But I did it. It was heartless and there’s no excuse or reason for you to forgive that. But I beg of you to stay here… never speak to me again if you need, but don’t settle to a life of misery just to avoid me. I will happily accept being locked up in a dungeon for a hundred years, so you don’t see the likes of me again…”
He handed you the chocolate, and your gaze softened for a second as you saw the chocolate, he remembered which ones you liked the most. You opened your mouth to speak, but a gentle squeeze to your hands let you know Loki still wanted to speak.
He had caused all of this for not telling you the truth, and now he wanted to fully bare his soul to you now.
“You offered me boundless kindness, patience despite my flaws, understanding to my pain and sins of the past, laughter like I hadn’t enjoyed before, you fed with the most delicious and warm foods I had ever eaten, you showed me the concept of dates and you bared me completely vulnerable to your touch and heart and you bared yourself completely to me without fear of me…” Loki continued, as tears streamed down his face, drowning in regret. “And all I did was play with you and betray the trust your selfless heart gave me without asking for anything in return.”
He placed his forehead on your knees and sobbed, completely ashamed of what he had done to you. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness, but he felt like he’d die without you. And he’ deserve it.
“I don’t care” you finally spoke, and he looked up, he saw the tears streaming down your face. “You’re the God of Mischief and Lies, there are countless stories of how you lied and manipulated to get away with anything you wanted… I should’ve expected I’d be just that.”
“No— No, darling!” Loki held your hands and pressed his lips against your knuckles. “No, my sweet, you— I was selfish. I wanted a cover up, yes, but what I found was love, I found the butterflies in my stomach you always speak of. I found the warm of your hands lingering on my skin after our dates. I found myself awake during the night sighing over those lovely eyes I’ve now so cruelly filled with tears…” Loki spoke softly.
You were shaking in your place as you did your best not to cry and interrupt him. He brushed his finger along your cheek as in appreciation of your effort.
“None of what you heard that night was true in my heart…” he assured you “I never felt so disgusted I wanted to vomit; it was guilt that was killing me from the inside… knowing I was hurting such a beautiful flower.”
He handed you the heart locket and you opened it, seeing the photo made you sob as silently as you could.
“I was selfish and a liar. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me and want nothing to do with me again. But please know that my heart beats for and because of you only.” He spoke. “I fell hopelessly and irredeemably in love with you. I swear that on my life.”
You looked at him and smiled, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and sobbed now freely and unrestrained. Time seemed to stop for Loki as he hugged you back, taking in your scent and caressing you. Tears fell down his face and he held you, afraid you’d disappear if he let go of you.
You forgave him. He didn’t think he’d ever be so lucky to find a kind soul that would forgive even his worst mistake. But he found it, you were kind enough to do so. Your wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug and Loki was able to let all the pain and guilt go… He couldn’t undo his mistakes, but he could be better, and he wanted to be his best self for you.
“Thank you… Norns, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” he repeated over and over between whispers and tears as he held you tight.
You sat up straight and cupped his face and laughed softly as you still cried happy tears.
“You’re gonna have to buy me a new box of tissues, you booger” you joked softly with a sniffle, and pressed your forehead to his and grabbed a tissue to blow your nose.
“I’ll give you the entire world if you so desire, my love” he spoke with a gentle smile. “Just say the word.”
“I don’t need the world” you smiled and kissed his cheek. “I have everything I need right here.”
“What did I do to deserve you?” he chuckled softly as he grabbed a tissue to wipe his tears and blow his nose. “I’m a disaster and somehow I still found the most precious little dove all for myself.”
You held him tightly in a hug… in silence for a few minutes before you spoke again.
“Did you think I was annoying when we first met?” you asked with a stern look on your face. “I want the truth.”
“Truthfully… you were a nightmare…” Loki admitted in a soft playful tone.
“HEY!” you whined and dug your fingers into the crevices of his ribs making him burst out laughing. “I said honest, not mean!”
“Ehehehe! Lohohohohove, let me finish!” he giggled, letting you have this, it was the least he could do. “P-Please, s-stohohohop that! Not there!”
You smiled and went to tickle his belly. Oh, you had really not liked that.
“Plehehehehehease, dahahaharling! I surrender!” he laughed and did his best to not squirm.
“Fine… what is it?” you asked, as you sat sideways on his lap, already happily cuddling with him.
Thank whatever superior force that was out there… Oh, you’re a wonderful blessing.
“You’re a nightmare turned into a dream” he clarified and he didn’t even bother fighting the urge to squeeze you tightly.
“You have 3 seconds to explain how that’s a compliment o I’ll tickle you until you puncture a lung.”
“Ihihi— I mean like, when you start having a bad dream… but it turns around as the most wonderful of dreams, those that you still think about after waking up.” Loki said, and as those words he was sure he had fried his brain because he didn’t make any sense.
But that was enough for you.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled.
“C’mon… don’t be mad at me for being foolish and wrong” he smiled as he squeezed you tight. “Surely you thought I was insufferable at first as well, we’re so different after all.”
You smiled and shook your head.
“I love my pretty prince” you smiled and picked a tissue yourself to clean your face. “Flaws, differences, and all.”
“Do you, now?” he grinned cheekily. “I sure am a lucky one to be called yours.”
“A Loki one” you giggled, and Loki made a scowl of disgust. “Sorry! I thought it too late when I said it and— hehehe!”
“Oh, that was awful— C’mere… you!”
“W-What?! NO! NOHOHOHOHO! LOHOHOHOKI, STOP IHIHIHIT!”
As he made you laugh and held you against him, he couldn’t doubt how fortunate he was to be so undoubtedly yours.
| MASTERPOST |
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Hi if you're still taking request. Can I request a Namor x reader where reader and namor are married and reader is one of the people got turned to dust because of the snap and Namor just don't know what to do. 5 years later reader came back to him what would he's reaction be?
Thank you for the request
Summary: 5 years without you was worse than anything he had ever experienced.
ANGST
In ajawo - my king
In reina - my queen
in yakunaj - my love
in amado - my beloved
Aateni - help me
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It had happened so suddenly it took Namor a moment to realize that you were truly gone. You were together at the time. In the tent in the cave where he kept most of his paintings. The two of you had been laughing when your expression suddenly changed. You stumbled and he caught you.
"In yakunaj? What is it?" He asked as he guided you to a chair, worry etched into his brow. You had a faraway look in your eyes that made his stomach drop.
"In ajawo' something is happening," You stuttered and gripped his hands like your life depended on it. "Aateni' K'uk'ulkan."
His heart clenched at the call for help as he was at a loss on how to do just that. Then right before his eyes you crumbled into dust. He looked around himself like you would suddenly reappear. He tore up the room and the surrounding caves, calling your name. But when reality sank in, he broke. The howl that the king let out rang through all of Talokan as others in the underwater civilization also vanished.
The Talokan King ventured to the surface when he couldn't find any answers in the sea. What he found was the same suffering and loss. He learned of what the alien Thanos had done. Nothing would bring you back. Nothing would bring anyone back. Any hope he may have harbored was now turned to ashes.
For the first year, no one but Namora saw the king. He secluded himself and wallowed in his grief. Allowed himself to feel the anger and loss and guilt. Your last words, your plea for him to save you to help you rang in his ears. Though Namora told him there was nothing he could have done, that did not sooth his aching and yearning soul.
On the anniversary of what the surface dwellers called 'the blip', Namor showed himself to his people once more. He wore his ceremonial garb and they held an official funeral for all those who had been turned to dust. Enough time had passed and it was time to let go. At least that is what he told his people, but at night he held your clothes close to him and prayed for your return.
The King remained detached and always stoic. He no longer swam the streets of Talokan and greeted his people. Nor was he ever seen outside the palace or his caves. No one blamed him. They all knew how he loved his Queen and her loss was felt by all.
The grief and sadness held Namor in such a grasp that he did not smile until over four years had passed. As time passed he had chosen to make room in his heart for the love of his people again. A small child had bumped into him on one of his few ventures into the city to see his people. But the smallest of smiles had finally alighted upon his face at the fright on the boy's face and his repeated apologies. He had patted the young boy and eased him.
Namor was learning to live without you in the smallest ways. He had made a conscious effort to leave the palace and caves more often. To be a more active hand in ruling his people. Seeing them moving forward with life while honoring those who left were a balm for the ever aching parts of his heart. In time he allowed himself to see the surface and the sun again. He knew you would have wanted that.
~~~
Namor was sitting on a beach, listening for any changes in the world. He knew the war against Thanos was waging somewhere, he could feel it. The energy that suddenly rippled through the world sent a hope through him that he dared not take hold of. He ran full pelt across the beach and dove back into the sea.
When he resurfaced in his caves and made it to the tent he paused. His heart was racing and hope had truly sprung up inside of him. But if he pushed this curtain and you weren't there he would be undone.
"K'uk'ulkan?" Your soft voice came from inside the tent, hesitant and frightened. A second ago he had been at your side and now you were alone.
The King almost fell to his knees at the sound of your voice. A sound he had feared he would forget as years passed without you. He threw open the curtain and you turned to him. You were standing at the table looking worried. Before you could speak Namor took three long strides and pulled you into his arms in a an embrace that spoke of longing and so much love. A sob escaped his lips as his legs gave way.
You knelt with him and held him to you as he sobbed like a child into your neck. You gripped ahold of him, soothingly running your hands through his hair as you felt tears well in your own eyes at the sound of his anguish. Namor pulled away and took your face in his shaking hands and looked at you with tears staining his cheeks.
"In amado, in reina, you have returned to me," Namor choked out the words before kissing you fiercely. Although confused you knew that something terrible had happened between the moment you had felt like something was wrong and his sudden disappearance to the entrance of the tent. You kissed him back and then held his face in your own hands.
"In ajawo, K'uk'ulkan, my love, I am here. Whatever happened to cause you this pain, I am here to make it go away," You whispered to him as he nuzzled his cheek against your palm.
"You were gone from me. You and half of the world. We have been grieving your loss and so many others for five years. I do not want to live in that world again. In a world without you," Namor's voice was low and broken. He was trying to calm his gut wrenching sobs as he explained what had happened and why you had disappeared.
The King held you close as he recounted what he knew and that he suspected that Thanos had now been defeated. Your heart broke as he described the mourning and grief that he and Talokan had suffered through. You had lost five years in a moment but he had been alone that whole time. You kissed him again, lingering so he could truly feel that you were there. He clutched on to you as though you would slip through his fingers again if he let go.
"I will never leave you again, my love. I promise you," You looked around you and could see that time had indeed passed. The tent was not as organized as you liked it. The king's paints were haphazard and there were unclean brushes sitting in places they shouldn't. Then you noticed the new mural that to you had not been there a moment ago. It was you; a detailed and intricate portrait of you in your ceremonial dress.
"I painted this the first year you were gone. I would come here and talk to you, imagining you were listening. I had no hope that you would ever return," he pressed his forehead to your temple and you cupped his cheek as you took in the painting.
"Why did you wait for me? I would have understood if you moved on. Talokan is always in need of a queen," You asked him, looking into his dark eyes.
"There was no queen before you and there will be none after you. There is only you, in reina," He did not explain any further.
Tears leaked out of the corner of your eye at his devotion. You pulled him in for a longer more passionate kiss. Pouring all you had into showing him how much you loved him. It broke a dam in the king and he kissed you hungrily. Like a starving man needing air he was desperate for your touch. Namor hoisted you onto the table and continued kissing you as his hands ran up and down your body.
Then he paused for a moment and leaned back, taking in the sight of you with swollen lips, a flushed face and neck, and your eyes dark with desire and he smiled a full wide smile for the first time in 5 years.
...
Alrighty, I think that's good right?
All comments, reblogs, and reviews feed me.
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yeonslayjun · 2 months
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Dumb and Dumber - Hualian
Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are so OBVIOUS and OBLIVIOUS at the same time Honestly They amaze me ngl
Cuz Hua Cheng be Like - Wdym Gege Loves me?? That's impossible like I don't think he loves me solely for the fact that I'm one of his last believer left and that I built a FUCKING CITY for him and how I ran helped him in a case and dressed up as a Groom and gege was a bride (Oh his dead heart definitely started beating then pls ) and how I Built a temple to worship him and how I released 3000 lanterns for him and that I've made 10,000 statues for gege and not how I have red thread of fate on my finger bc he tied his hair on my finger
ALSO wdym I had my gay awakening at the land of tender??? Impossible He's my god I can't have those feelings for him bc I'm a dirty piece of shit (NO YOU ARE NOT)
and DEFINITELY NOT HOW I GAVE HIM Spirtual Power... DEFINITELY NOT HAHAHA.... Now let me just ask his hand for marriage OH nvm I'm unworthy he doesn't like me ( WHILE XIE LIAN IS SITTING ON HIS LAP ) let's make it into a joke hahaha..... OH? Gege's says he's happy for my beloved when will he know it's him talking about?? :( ( let's ignore he didn't know half of these lmao)
OH MY GOD GEGE SAW THE STATUES That's it I'm getting disowned by him He'll hate me ofc he will... I knew this would happen no I'm okay, IT'S FINE... Yeah he really should make it clear that he doesn't love me huh? :((
Like Hua Cheng is SO DOWN BAD for Xie Lian Like Honey we get it You exist to LOVE your Taizi Danxia and to serve Cvnt and angst
AND
My guy Xie Lian here is SO VERY OBLIVIOUS like I get that he was practicing abstinence but bro's like -
Oh Hua Cheng is such a pretty name *giggles* Oh and his hands were so beautiful and he was gentle with me too when he dressed as the Groom *blushes* Oh Crimson Rain Sought Flower is his name? *swoons* HOLY SHIT HE'S HOT *nosebleeds*
I like this kid san lang. OoO Did he just suck the poison out of me?!?! DAYUM he killed so many people at once *swoons x2*... WAIT IS HE HUA CHENG??!?! Oh my gosh IT IS Hua Cheng ajhsjdhsudhu Let's act calm and composed hehe. Let's sleep together cuz He would never hurt me >:( I wonder what happened to the kid who said he'd worship only me :( He was a good kid yk? Had one eye covered too kinda like you actually haha Funny Right???
He's so perfect as a "sworn brother" ( Yes I'm looking at you SQX) protecting me and shit. Wait he trusts me??? ME?!?! huh?!?!. San Lang~~~. AHHH HE RELEASED 3000 LANTERNS FOR ME AHHHH I LOVE HIM as a friend ofc ofc.
Oh I LOVE getting Spiritual Energy from him <3 that wasn't a kiss nope it wasn't.... ERROR 101 San Lang asked my hand in marriage ERROR.... o h He was Joking :( ofc he was :((( I wish he wasn't tho :((((( SAN LANG HAS A BELOVED?!?!? Ofc he has He's such a handsome and kind man he probably gets all the bitches he wants But why do I feel smth weird in my heart?? (IT'S CALLED JEALOUSY YOU DUMB MOTHOFO )
Honestly God (Jun Wu LMAO) Knows how he survived the past 800 years like BRO WHY IS YOU SO STUPID when it comes to love?!?!? Like ISTG He's one of the smartest of all the jokes called "GODS". But he still doesn't get it till he saw the 10,000 statues Hua Cheng prepared like pls
ALSO Hua Cheng the ghost king who defeated 33 gods and how his smartass self esp rubbed the floor with them Civil Heavenly Officials But the one moment he needs it to realise the VERY OBVIOUS FACT that Xie Lian loves him The Genius Smartass is nowhere to be seen
But tbh I can't blame Hua Cheng much here cuz Xie Lian was very oblivious to his own feelings pls BUT STILL
Their Slow-burn was too much for me Like the chemistry was SO OBVIOUS but they're just Dumb kids when it comes to feelings *sighs* The Hualian Brainrot is rotting my brain away as we peak
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penny00dreadful · 7 months
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So... some of you may have noticed my fics have come to a screeching halt the last couple of months which is not like me and I am here to explain myself.
Babygirl, I have been preparing.
The end of this month is my 1 year anniversary of posting in this fandom, of posting any of my work online after not doing it for like fifteen fucking years and it has brought me so much incandescent joy, I decided I had to do something for it.
(I've also hit like... several milestones which is fucking insane like you all know I'm just some cranky bog witch, right??)
I have been working on my WIPs for over the last two months. All... holy mother of god... like nine of them???
Some of these have been completed, some I am still writing and some are mostly done.
So starting from my anniversary date, 23rd October, every second or third day, I'll be posting a chapter of something.
I have so much material built up this shit could go on until 2024
@hbyrde36 called it my own personal Penny00Dreadful BigBang... and yeah kinda! 😅
I wanted to do this to show just how much I love this community. Your kind words, your support, your unhinged ramblings, your obsessive love, your talent (for free??) it's all amazing it's so amazing and I wanted to explode forth with my love for it so I figured why the fuck not do this stupid idea??😅
All of these will be posted both to tumblr and AO3 so subscribe over there to keep updated or follow me here!
OH! And let me know if you wanna be tagged! If you wanna be tagged for a specific fic or for everything I'll add you, whatever you want.
You've made me so happy and so warm for the last year. The way I know if I'm having a bad day I just need to hop onto this side of tumblr and everything will be peaches and gravy again.
I love you guys so much. 😘🖤
Updated Schedule - (18th Feb 2024)
Fic list with blurbs below the cut, this will (roughly) be the order they're posted in:
Return of The King - COMPLETE
Steddie Vampire AU with a twist! Vampire Steve comes back after falling to the bats. There is two more chapters left and those chapters have been completed.
Comeuppance - COMPLETE
Dustin just wants Steve to be happy. So he tries to parent trap him with Nancy. Clearly they should be together. But Steve's heart doesn't even seem to be in it at all! How is he so bad at this? And Eddie is being less than helpful
Rookie Mistake - COMPLETE
My Steddie Established Relationship Spies AU oneshot that will have a multi-chapter prequel fic coming very soon after!
Eddie is "retired" and Steve has been injured on the job, so he's supposed to be taking it easy. How hard could a walk to the gas station be?
Before He Cheats - COMPLETE
Songfic! Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
I literally have no excuse for this one. The rotted brainworms were behind the steering wheel with this one.
One evening, Eddie gets a call from some guy named Steve dropping the news on him that his boyfriend has been cheating on him. With this Steve person and Steve had no idea up until that day.
And Eddie rarely takes that shit lying down.
Steddievember Smut - COMPLETE
No Nut November is here! One can play however he wants. The other just has to wait for December to roll around. I have no other words to describe what this will be, it does what it says on the tin. I blame the STWG discord server. Currently we're looking at four little ficlets for this.
Cat and Mouse - COMPLETE
The Steddie Spies AU Prequel! How they got together and the extreme ups and downs their enemies/rivals to lovers journey goes through. I had so much fun with this one.
And They Were Roommates! - COMPLETE
omg they were roommates.
Steve and Eddie don't hate each other exactly. They just... tolerate each other. But one night Eddie doesn't come home for hours. Long after he's supposed to and it's not like Steve is worried or anything... he's just... concerned for a fellow human being... that's all.
Through The Valley
Post-Apocalyptic AU. Eddie, Dustin and Nancy have a nice little community of survivors outside of Hawkins that they take care of, surviving day to day. Everyone's a little broken, missing the rest of their Party just hoping that one day they'll find each other again.
Devotion
Dungeons and Dragons AU. Steve is the golden boy of the small town of Hawkins. Harrington in name and now a Paladin with his very own oath to hunt down the Bard, the witch Eddie Munson and bring him back to justice under High Priest Henry Creel.
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lilacmingi · 2 months
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ALICE IN WONDERLAND AU FINALE
My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works
Pairing: BTS x fem reader
Word count: 1,096
Note: The final part is here! At the end, you’ll have 7 endings to choose from! You can pick your bias/biases or read them all! The choice is yours <3
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You stepped back, your heart plummeting to your feet at the sight of him.
"Hoseok!" His name was uttered in shock.
The last thing you expected was to see him barging into Jin's castle, let alone by himself.
His burning gaze met yours and his eyes softened immediately.
"Y/n, I'm sorry for lashing out at you. I called off the guards not long after you ran off. It's just me here." He told you, taking a single step forward.
Jin wrapped his arms around you while the others moved to stand in front of you, creating a barrier to protect you. Hoseok frowned, a look of disappointment flashing across his features.
"Guys." You spoke softly. "It's okay."
The boys separated, albeit hesitantly, and you stepped out of Jin's embrace, slowly walking towards Hoseok. Your arms wrapped themselves around him, pulling the king into a tight hug.
"Y/n." He breathed out your name in a sigh of relief, his arms circling your waist.
"I forgive you, Hoseok." You whispered. "Though I should be the one apologizing to you. I left you after you opened up to me. I'm sorry for that."
He shook his head. "Don't worry about that. Everything is fine now. Come back to the castle with me, Y/n. You can be my queen."
"I can't." You frowned, pulling away. "Things need to be fixed between you and the others."
You glanced back towards Jin, gesturing for him to speak up.
He pressed his lips together, stepping forward. "Y/n and I had a conversation and she made me realize that I needed to do the right thing. I want to apologize to you, Hoseok—we all do. I personally have felt awful every day since you ran off. Truthfully, I should have apologized sooner, but I was being cowardly."
"We shouldn't have chose Jin over you." Namjoon stated.
"You were a lot of fun to be around. I miss it." Jimin spoke up.
"We're really sorry, Hoseok." Taehyung apologized, looking down at his feet shamefully. "We didn't mean to cast you out like that."
"Yeah and I don't blame you if you don't forgive us." Yoongi added. "We kinda deserve it."
Hoseok stood there, his unblinking eyes wide with shock.
"Hoseok?" Jungkook called out, tilting his head to the side as he waited for a response from the stunned man.
He blinked a few times, collecting his thoughts before finally speaking.
"I didn't expect this." His voice coming out so quietly you could barely hear him. "I accept your apologies, but it’s me who should be the one saying sorry. I suppose I had a little pity party and went about all this the wrong way." He slumped his shoulders.
"Everyone is at fault, Hoseok. We all messed up." Jin pointed out. "So, are we good?"
A gleaming and beautiful smile spread across Hoseok's face and we wasted no time running up and embracing all six boys in a hug.
"Y/n, come here!" Jimin motioned for you to join in on the group hug.
With that invitation, there was no way you could stand by. Rushing over, you latched onto the group hug, trying your best to stretch your arms around as many people as possible.
When you visited Wonderland all those years ago, Hoseok had already isolated himself from the others, so you never got to see all seven of them together. Despite that, this moment felt right.
"This probably wouldn't have happened if you didn't show up. We were all stuck in our ways and I don't think any of us would have stepped up and apologized." Namjoon stated after everyone parted ways. "Thank you."
"Yes. Thank you, Y/n." Hoseok smiled.
"So, what now?" Yoongi asked the question everyone in the group was thinking.
"Well," Jin began. "Y/n can either go home or stay here."
The thought of going home made your heart sink. You had met seven amazing people and experienced so many things in Wonderland that you didn't even want to go back home. Truthfully, there wasn't anything for you to go back to anyway, so what's the point of returning?
"I want to stay here." Your answer was certain.
Smiles spread across everyone's faces as soon as the response left your mouth.
"Well then, if you stay you have to choose one of us to be with." Yoongi stated.
"I have to?"
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Jin mentioned.
You still hadn't wrapped your mind around the fact that there were seven guys who all wanted to be with you. It was all so much and, while it was flattering, it was also overwhelming. However, one of them did manage to charm you.
"I want to choose one of you." You nodded. "I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or disappoint anyone."
"We'll be fine." Jungkook assured you.
"No matter who you pick, we'll understand." Hoseok smiled.
"Where will I live? I know Jin and Hoseok have castles and Namjoon told me he has a home, but what about the rest of you?"
"We have houses, you know." Yoongi feigned offense. 
"I have a little cottage." Jungkook grinned.
"I have a tiny house." Jimin added.
"What about that mysterious twin of yours who's never around?" Your brows tugged together.
"You think we live together?" He scoffed. "Not a chance."
"We all have our own places." Namjoon said.
"Well, my place is a little shabby-looking, but it's okay. Y/n, if you choose me we can spruce it up and make it look real nice!" Taehyung gleamed.
You glanced over the group who were all unique in their own way.
Jungkook, though shy at first, was actually rather bold and quite captivating.
Jimin was downright adorable but not to be underestimated. He had a flirtatious and charming side to him that was irresistible.
Yoongi was a sweet talker and had no shame in anything he did, but you knew he had a soft side.
Taehyung was a goofy person who didn't seem to care what others thought of him and his weird ways.
Namjoon was another smooth talker and very intelligent. Though he was a bit rude at first, you knew that wasn't his true personality.
Hoseok was happy-go-lucky and reminded you of the sun.
Jin was romantic and kind—a true gentleman. Not to mention he's incredibly good-looking. They all were.
Every single one of them were amazing and beyond perfect, but your heart seemed to be pulled towards one of them in particular.
Time to make your decision ➯ Jungkook ♤ Jimin ♡ Yoongi ♧ Taehyung ♢ Namjoon ♡ Hoseok ♧ Jin
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Masterlist ᝰ
DO NOT steal, plagiarize, copy, repost, alter, or translate my works in any way
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🏷 @h3arteyes4mingi @weird-bookworm @poppy2007 @parkjennykim @evidive @mxlly143 @lizzymizzy-blogg @minhanbyeol @dinossaurz
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leclerc-s · 3 months
Text
i want your midnights
alternatively: a blurb series of the songs that were inspired by daniel ricciardo
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series masterlist
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REPUTATION
track 001. ...ready for it?
track 002. end game
track 003. don't blame me
track 004. delicate
track 005. so it goes
track 006. gorgeous
track 007. king of my heart
track 008. dancing with our hands tied
track 009. dress
track 010. this is why we can't have nice things
track 011. call it what you want
track 012. new year's day
LOVER
track 013. cruel summer
track 014. lover
track 015. i think he knows
track 016. miss americana & the heartbreak prince
track 017. paper rings
track 018. cornelia street
track 019. false god
track 020. afterglow
track 021. it's nice to have a friend
track 022. daylight
track 023. all of the girls you've loved before
track 024. need
FOLKLORE
track 025. invisible string
track 026. the lakes
EVERMORE
track 027. willow
track 028. gold rush
track 029. cowboy like me
track 030. long story short
MIDNIGHTS
track 031. lavender haze
track 032. snow on the beach
track 033. labyrinth
track 034. karma
track 035. sweet nothing
track 036. mastermind
track 037. high infidelity
track 038. glitch
track 039. hits different
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taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting @ragioniera
strikethrough means i couldn't tag you
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abisbookshelf · 19 days
Text
100+ songs that remind me of buddie: the ship between evan "buck" buckley + eddie diaz from 9-1-1 (tv show)
photograph - ed sheeran
sucker - jonas brothers
fix you - coldplay
clarity - zedd & foxes
everybody talks - neon trees
earned it (fifty shades of grey) - the weeknd
cardigan - taylor swift
august - taylor swift
the 30th - billie eilish
sunsetz - cigarettes after sex
sweet - cigarettes after sex
K. - cigarettes after sex
love of my life - harry styles
i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys
the way i loved you (taylor's version) - taylor swift
everything has changed (taylor's version) - taylor swift & ed sheeran
fine line - harry styles
watching him fade away - mac demarco
jealousy, jealousy - olivia rodrigo
apocalypse - cigarettes after sex
sofia - clairo
we fell in love in october - girl in red
ribs - lorde
i love you so - the walters
until i found you - stephen sanchez & em beihold
golden hour - JVKE
crush - cigarettes after sex
karma - taylor swift
bags - clairo
getaway car - taylor swift
don't blame me - taylor swift
issues - julia micheals
heavenly - cigarettes after sex
memories - conan gray
lay all your love on me - ABBA
head over heels - ABBA
ceilings - lizzy mcalpine
all i wanted - paramore
i love you - billie eilish
heather - conan gray
what a time - julia micheals & niall horan
make up your mind - florence + the machine
look after you - the fray
sparks - coldplay
king of my heart - taylor swift
false god - taylor swift
rumour has it - adele
the great war - taylor swift
maroon - taylor swift
gorgeous - taylor swift
lovers rock - TV girl
why'd you only call me when you're high? - arctic monkeys
beautiful boy (darling boy) remastered 2010 - john lennon
daylight - david kushner
halley's comet - billie eilish
can't feel my face - the weeknd
shameless - camila cabello
ME! - taylor swift & brendon urie of panic! at the disco
all too well (10 minute version - taylor's version) - taylor swift
this love (taylor's version) - taylor swift
enchanted (taylor's version) - taylor swift
midnight rain - taylor swift
the 1 - taylor swift
kiss me - ed sheeran
mine (taylor's version) - taylor swift
lavender haze - taylor swift
hits different - taylor swift
afterglow - taylor swift
lover - taylor swift
red (taylor's version) - taylor swift
i don't wanna live forever (fifty shades darker) - ZAYN & taylor swift
style (taylor's version) - taylor swift
"slut!" (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift
daylight - taylor swift
wildest dreams (taylor's version) - taylor swift
how you get the girl (taylor's version) - taylor swift
you are in love (taylor's version) - taylor swift
golden - harry styles
say yes to heaven - lana del rey
lover (remix) - taylor swift & shawn mendes
training wheels - melanie martinez
scott screet - phoebe bridgers
glue song - beabadoobee
kiss me - sixpence none the richer
something just like this - the chainsmokers & coldplay
still into you - paramore
those eyes - new west
can't take my eyes off you - boys town gang
angeleyes - ABBA
because i liked a boy - sabrina carpenter
sleep it off - niki & gabi
never felt so alone - labrinth
chemtrails over the country club - lana del rey
only love can hurt like this - paloma faith
my love mine all mine - mitski
moment in the sun - sunflower bean
you're losing me (from the vault) - taylor swift
paris - taylor swift
the lucky one (taylor's version) - taylor swift
snap out of it - arctic monkeys
labyrinth - taylor swift
starlight (taylor's version) - taylor swift
company - justin bieber
never really over - katy perry
i lived - onerepublic
the night we met - lord huron
heart to heart - mac demarco
rises the moon - liana flores
about you - the 1975
fight or flight - conan gray
deja vu - olivia rodrigo
you found me - the fray
paris - the chainsmokers
murder on the dancefloor - sophie ellis-bextor
want to want me - jason derulo
hands to myself - selena gomez
late night talking - harry styles
astronomy - conan gray
the only exception - paramore
can't help falling in love - elvis presley
the boy is mine - brandy & monica
last dance - scratch massive & maud geffray
ur so pretty - wasia project
34+35 - ariana grande
good days - SZA
falling in love - cigarettes after sex
keep on loving you - cigarettes after sex
marry you - bruno mars
walk me home - p!nk
people help the people - birdy
now that we don't talk (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift
suburban legends (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift
open arms - SZA & travis scott
movies - conan gray
let the light in - lana del rey & father john misty
margaret - lana del rey & bleachers
need you now - lady A
i miss you, i'm sorry - gracie abrams
sex on fire - kings of leon
end of beginning - djo
21 - gracie abrams
only you - cheat codes & little mix
mr. loverman - ricky montgomery
lust for life - lana del rey & the weeknd
saturn - SZA
lover (live from paris) - taylor swift
dress - taylor swift
waiting room - phoebe bridgers
kiss you - one direction
someone to you - BANNERS
little freak - harry styles
i hear a symphony - cody fry
do i wanna know? - arctic monkeys
till forever falls apart - ashe & FINNEAS
1 step forward, 3 steps back - olivia rodrigo
like real people do - hozier
out of my league - fitz and the tantrums
somewhere only we know - keane
when we were young - adele
maps - maroon 5
young and beautiful - lana del rey
touch tank - quinnie
i found - amber run
invisible string - taylor swift
epiphany - taylor swift
daylight - taylor swift
ivy - taylor swift
sign of the times - harry styles
adore you - harry styles
sunflower, vol.6 - harry styles
let me love you (until you learn to love yourself) - glee cast (version)
somewhere only we know - glee cast (version)
yellow - coldplay
pretty boy - the neighbourhood
the beach - the neighbourhood
whatta man - salt n pepa & en vogue
endgame - taylor swift, ed sheeran & future
delicate - taylor swift
break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored - ariana grande
forever winter (taylor's version - from the vault) - taylor swift
wish you were gay - billie eilish
ivy - frank ocean
i like me better - lauv
toothbrush - DNCE
best friend - rex orange county
no control - one direction
here is the link to the playlist on spofity: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7mpIWOTplXGR7vR4gT34Yi
if you have any other recommendations for songs please let me know and they will go straight into the playlist. also, please don't be disrespectful and this is a reminder that these are my opinions, i hope that you enjoy the playlist!! 💌🤍💋
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rpmemes-galore · 3 months
Text
taylor swift : reputation album ... sentence starters
"Are you ready for it?"
"No one has to know."
"Call it what you want to."
"I wanna be your end game."
"Is it cool that I said all that?"
"I don't like your little games."
"I'm just gonna call you mine."
"Now all he thinks about is me."
"For you, I would cross the line."
"I let them think they saved me."
"My castle crumbled overnight."
"I'm doing better than I ever was."
"Look what you just made me do."
"But, darling, it's going to be okay."
"Gold cage, hostage to my feelings."
"All my flowers grew back as thorns."
"You should take it as a compliment."
"Touch me and you'll never be alone."
"You and me, we got big reputations."
"Reputation precedes me, in rumors."
"But what can I say? You're gorgeous."
"I don't wanna be just another ex-love."
"Don't blame me, love made me crazy."
"Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share."
"Oh, damn, never seen that color blue."
"They say, 'She's gone too far this time!'"
"I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose."
"You've ruined my life by not being mine."
"They fade to nothing when I look at him."
"Say my name and everything just stops."
"Just think of the fun things we could do."
"I never trust a playboy, but they love me."
"Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours."
"So why'd you have to rain on my parade?"
"The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury."
"I'm one call away whenever you need me."
"If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing."
"Do the girls back home touch you like I do?"
"I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me."
"But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom."
"It was the best of times, the worst of crimes."
"Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him."
"This is why we can't have nice things, darling."
"I once was poison ivy, but now, I'm your daisy."
"Only bought this dress so you could take it off."
"You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much."
"I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted."
"The truth is, it’s easier to ignore it, believe me."
"And there are no rules when you show up here."
"I made up my mind, I'm better off being alone."
"If life gets too good now, darling, it scares you."
"Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me."
"I don't regret it one bit 'cause he had it coming."
"Every love I've known in comparison is a failure."
"'Cause for every lie I tell them, they tell me three."
"I'm so furious at you for making me feel this way."
"Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time."
"Younger than my exes, but he acts like such a man."
"He really knows me. Which is more than they can say."
"They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one."
"And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you."
"You know I'm not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you."
"Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted."
"Some boys are trying too hard, he don't try at all, though."
"Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep."
"They say I did something bad. Then why's it feel so good?"
"I don't like your perfect crime, how you laugh when you lie."
"Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate."
"Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?"
"My reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me."
"They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons."
"This is how the world works: you gotta leave before you get left."
"I've made mistakes and made some choices, that's hard to deny."
"You asked me for a place to sleep, locked me out, and threw a feast."
"You promise people the world, because that's what they want from you."
"We can't make any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink."
"In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do, baby."
"Please, don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere."
"And all at once, you're all I want, I'll never let you go… King of my heart, body and soul."
"I'm sorry, the old (name) can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, 'cause she's dead!"
"I'll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe. Or if you strike out and you’re crawling home."
"There I was, giving you a second chance. But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand."
"I've been breaking hearts a long time and toying with them older guys. Just playthings for me to use."
"And I know I make the same mistakes every time. Bridges burn, I never learn... at least I did one thing right."
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shesjustanothergeek · 7 months
Text
His Love
|Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader|
Part Twenty-Five
Masterlist of Series
Summary: Being a bastard born in the slums of Flea Bottom was all you were known for. Not the streak of white you had in your dark hair, the violet ring around your pupils, or how your sharp tongue and skills with the blade resembled your father, Daemon Targaryen. You were just a bastard, nothing more, but to him, to Aegon Targaryen, you were everything. You were his love.
Author's Note: I'm in my George R. R. Martin era, besties. He told me it's okay to take my time with my writing and not force myself. I mean, who am I to say no to the king himself? As always, thank you for reading!
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Chapter Warnings: Violence, non-consensual knifeplay aka stabbing, we don't know how to cope here we have Daemon Targaryen as a father.
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"Her hands do violence, but there is a different dream in her heart." - Dishonored.
The Red Keep was in upheaval. Maids hurriedly carried baskets of clothing throughout the halls, servants checked over their shoulders at every turn, and every entrance and exit was guarded with at least two Gold Cloaks. A curfew was set in place by order of the Hand. No one was to roam through the Keep past sunset unless necessary.
There were no more unaccompanied excursions to the training yard, and if Arryk hadn't been overbearing before, he was practically an extension of you now. Everywhere you went, whether to the library or the Godswood, Ser Arryk was always five paces away. He was almost breathing down your neck at every turn, hand on the pommel of his sword, ready for the unseen threat.
You did suppose it was your fault, having murdered a member of the City Watch, but it was still rather annoying. You understood, of course, why there was a need to be up in arms about it, and you couldn't blame them for it. There was a murderer in their midst, and if they could best a trained killer, a man hardened with battle, what would they do to a defenseless Lord or Lady?
No one suspected you. Of course, they wouldn't. You were just one of the many bastards of Daemon Targaryen who had the sheer luck of becoming legitimized. You were only mindless court gossip, an object for men and women to gab over, not a human being. And while you did resent the fact, it worked in your favor.
"Who do you think could've done it?" Fiora asked Jeyne as she washed your scalp. "They said it was violent, that his head was severed from his body!"
Jeyne rolled her eyes, using a bristled brush to scrub at your nails. "Do not believe such rumors, Fiora. You're just as gullible as the lot of them," the older woman dismissed, gesturing her head.
"But Jeyne, Lottie told me herself! She was the one who discovered his body; the Mother rest his soul." The younger maidservant silently prayed as she brought a curved finger to her lips, looking up to the stone ceiling.
"How did a servant discover his corpse?" you questioned with your eyes closed, body adjusting within the warm water of the bath.
"Well, you see," Fiora started, suddenly stopping her ministrations, "Ser Lorgan was known as... umm... oh, what do you call it?" You glanced over at Jeyne with a brow raised. "He... Well... Ser Lorgan Sunderly had many friends. Many."
"Oh, Gods Fiora," Jeyne blurted exasperated, rolling her eyes. "He was a harlot. He had rotations of women in his bed, only to leave them wanting and waiting in the morn. It seems only fitting that he should be discovered by one."
You frowned, though it was not one of sadness but more of a believing surprise. Judging by how easy Ser Lorgan was as you led him to bed, it made sense. As you spoke, you relaxed into the tub, shutting your lids again. "Do you think it was one of his companions? Scorned by his lack of care and repertoire of lovers?"
Jeyne snorted, placing your hand into the water as she started on the other. "That seems likely, but have done it with such," she paused, staring at the furthest wall of your chambers as she thought of the correct word, "malice. But that tends to happen when one has been slighted, no matter how insignificant it seems to another."
You nodded with her sentences as Fiora rinsed the soap from your ebony strands, massaging rose oil into it once done. As the two women assisted you in leaving the bath, wrapping a thick cotton towel around your body, a knock sounded, leaving the three of you puzzled and slightly inconvenienced. You gestured to the maids to bring the bamboo partition over to your dressing vanity so they could continue their nightly routine.
"Enter," you called from behind the intricate paneling. The artisans nailed a cream-colored canvas tarp into the wood to protect your modesty, leaving you and the others outside to see dark shadows.
"Princess," you could see the figure bowing, still keeping formalities despite the informal presence. "I beg your pardon. I am here to do my nightly rounds before rest."
You hummed, Fiora gently rubbing your hair with the towel. It weighed heavily on your scalp when wet, and you gave the servant a grateful smile to have the weight taken off your neck.
"Ser Arryk, I should have known it was you. Who else would knock at my chambers at an inconvenient hour?" Jeyne rubbed the lavender oil you loved onto your skin, mixing a few drops of clary sage to help calm your nerves before sleep.
"Forgive me, Princess, but your wellbeing is my utmost priority," he replied smoothly, not thinking of the implications his words could mean.
Huffing a laugh, you raised your arms into your porcelain nightgown, the sleeves short for the late summer heat, ending just below your ankles.
"Your priority or the Crown's? Is it not you who pledged to obey the King's commands, to keep his secrets, to counsel him when requested, and to keep silent when not, to defend his name and honor?" You grinned as you recited the oath the seven members of the Kingsguard took in a mocking tone, Fiora running a comb through your damp hair at the vanity.
"Yes, Princess, but-"
"It seems near treasonous for my wellbeing to be your priority," you interrupted with a condescending tone. "Was it the King who assigned you as my shield?"
"No, Your Grace. It was the Hand." Arryk's voice lowered an octave, causing you to feel slight remorse.
"Then, why do you serve me so steadfastly? Should you not be guarding your King in these perilous times? There's a murderer on the lose, ser."
"The Hand's word is the King's," the knight countered, an odd occurrence for the obedient man.
You hummed again in response as you rose from your dressing vanity, your hair still damp and smelling faintly of flowers. You revealed yourself from behind the partition, hands clasped behind your back and chin held high.
"So it would seem," you replied lowly, stopping your movements a step away from the kingsguardmen. Arryk's eyes quickly flickered downwards before snapping to the wall behind you. "By all means, Ser Arryk, survey my chambers to ensure the killer is not hidden between my dresses."
You gestured to the space around you as you sat at the head of your bed, back resting against your pillows with your legs crossed. The knight made his rounds, looking inside your wardrobe, curtains, a trunk at the end far corner of your room filled with winter dresses, ridding leathers, and a quilt Ma sewed for you for your last nameday. You watched with an unimpressed smirk, your brows raised as he stood straight like a rod announcing his task was complete.
"Aren't you forgetting something, ser?" Arryk gazed at you, puzzled, his shoulder-length hair tied back at the base of his neck. "Why, Ser Arryk, you forgot the most obvious spot underneath my bed! Don't you want to keep me safe? As you said, there is a murderer within the castle," you teased mischievously, a toothy grin rounding your cheeks.
He begrudgingly followed your orders, ever the dutiful knight, though they were a jest. The Kingsguard's armor clanked as he kneeled at the side of your bed, using a gloved hand to balance himself on the mattress as he searched the area. As you suspected, there was no one hidden within the shadows of your room, and when Ser Arryk deemed all was safe, he rose and was met with the sight of you on your haunches, a playful expression on your face.
Once again, his eyes flickered downwards and then to the wall behind you. Your lips fell into a thin line, annoyed with his avoidance as you caught him looking again. You lowered your gaze as your skin blanched, swiftly cowering the prominent outline of your nipples, the textured skin around them peeking through the white fabric.
"You may go, Ser Cargyll," you declared hurriedly, pivoting on your knees as you hid underneath your sheets. "Why did you not tell me you could practically see my breasts beneath this gown?" You exclaimed at your maids, the two ladies staring after the door.
Fiora couldn't contain her giggles, covering her freckled cheeks as Jeyne barely withheld a smile. "We thought you knew," the older woman answered.
You groaned, rolling over in bed and shoving your face into your goose feather pillows. "You're wicked. Both of you! Leave me here to rethink of this at the last moment before I fall asleep."
They both chuckled, curtsying with their red woolen dresses before exiting and leaving you to wallow in shame and self-loathing.
***
A light rain drizzled outside the red rock walls of the Keep, a hazy grey mist blanketing all of Kings Landing. All the inhabitants, even the poor folk, hide indoors and underneath awnings, the humidity suffocating. Your daily luncheon with Helaena was eaten within her chambers instead of the typical garden surroundings, and you stared longingly out of the high-paned windows.
The rain had been perpetual for the past few days, never exceeding a delicate sprinkle. It seemed to be making up for the lack of thunderstorms that usually cracked the night sky during summer, and a part of you hoped that the Gods forsaken thing would pour and be done with it. You couldn't stand another hour trapped within the castle; it only served to remind you of your surroundings and the ache for Dragonstone.
Jaehaerys and Jaehaera played a few steps away from you and the Princess's place at her dining table, a well-worn wooden dragon in one hand and a finely sewn stuffed doll in the other. The twins had grown so much in the past moons, each saying their first word within weeks of the other, and since then, they had a habit of imitating every sound they heard.
Helaena was delighted when her little Jaehaera mimicked a noise that sounded like "eat," though when she prompted her daughter to repeat it; it was the prefix elongated. Still, you smiled and matched her excited expression, trying to coax more words out of the tot. Jaehaerys followed a fortnight later, but it was a less joyful experience. The young boy was amid his infamous tantrums, screaming, "Up, up, up." The nursemaids were at a loss of what to do when he kept wailing in their arms.
You were unsure of how they concluded, but soon, you were brought into the nursery, having been the only person able to calm Jaehaerys down in the past, and it worked. Soon, the only sound out of the boy's mouth was "up," which sadly meant he wanted you and would scream and cry until he was in your arms. Being at someone's beck and call was irksome, but you couldn't deny the warm feeling and bright smile at being wanted.
Helaena's muttering threw you from your thoughts, her lilac eyes glassy as she stared at her children before her. Her fingers pressed against her thin, peony lips as if she were in a trance, feeling the soft muscles as they contorted.
"Beast beneath the boards... a fool's parsley... a sacrifice... peace reborn." The delicate words left her mouth in mumbles, straining your ears to fill in the missing gaps in her sentences.
Nothing made sense. It was all scattered pieces and fervent rambling, purple eyes flickering too fast for Helaena to genuinely see what was in front of her. You had seen her like this before, but it was many moons past, and some of you thought you might have made the two instances up since it had yet to happen since then.
She continued her words, her trance unbreakable as her son whacked his twin with his toy, causing the poor girl to burst into screaming tears, the nursemaids rushing to their sides. Jaehaerys soon began to cry like his sister, too young to understand that what he did was wrong and why his sister was crying.
"Helaena," you gently called, placing a timid but reassuring hand on her silken tan gown sleeve.
"Up! Up!" Jaehaerys began to wail, waddling over to your seat with his Mother. You delicately dismiss the boy, motioning to the nursemaid.
"Your Grace?" you repeated more forcefully, squeezing her forearm. "Princess, are you all right?"
Suddenly, in time with her son's sobs, Helaena's wide eyes met with your concerned ones, gripping your wrist with a strength you hadn't known she possessed.
"A sacrifice of blood; peace reborn in flames," she nearly shouted, causing you to flinch at the abrupt shift in her mood.
"Up!"
You turn to Jaehaerys, standing and scooping the upset child in your embrace as you tenderly stroke his soft silver hair, leaning his face into the crook of your neck. Helaena plugged her ears, moving away from the crying children as she stared at the tapestry of a viridian meadow, sheep, and lambs grazing on the tall grass, unblinking.
After a few moments, the twins finally calmed, the pain of poor Jaehaera's injury subsiding and her brother content in your arms. The poor maidservants looked exhausted after the situation, frizzy strands of hair peeking from their white caps as one placed a cool, damp cloth on the sniffling girl's afflicted area.
The Princess released a shaky breath, removing her thin fingers from her ears as she faced adequately in her chair, taking a sip of juice from her cup and eating a slice of the goat cheese she requested. You gave Jaehaerys to the unoccupied nursemaid, the boy releasing an unhappy coo as you stroked his plump cheek with the knuckle of your index before returning to your place at the dining table.
You both continued to eat in silence. The only sound was occasional sniffling from one of the two tots and your chewing. The atmosphere had never been uncomfortable with Helaena, even with the rare appearance of her Queen Mother, and you were unsure of what to do, your lip curling between your teeth.
"I am with child again," Helaena spoke, her announcement cutting through the quiet like the blade of Dark Sister. She placed her hand affectionately on her lower stomach, a small smile on her angelic visage.
Your heart stopped at the revelation, sucking in a sharp breath as your nose began to itch, a telltale sign of tears. You were at a loss for words, not immediately congratulating her as was expected. A maelstrom of emotions surged through you, all in conflict with each other. Of course, you were happy for Helaena; you knew how much she loved being a mother. How much joy she held even when her children overwhelmed her. You bristled at the notion that some women were meant to be mothers, an idea you felt reduced the woman to her offspring rather than her being with autonomy, but with the Princess, it did not seem to dwindle her humanity. It was simply a quality of her that made Helaena all the more endearing.
"My congratulations, Princess. I am certain you'll birth another healthy babe as before," you responded. Your words were precise and calculated, as if you were speaking to a Lord and not your closest friend.
You swallowed the feeling of anger and crushed the green claws of jealousy. Emotions you had no right to bear. Aegon was her husband by law and the divine. Their duty was to create as many heirs as possible, but the sheer rage burning within saw no reason. You felt scorned by Aegon. Betrayed. The whore Prince wasted no time stuffing his cock inside anything it would fit, and you felt foolish to think he would ever do anything else.
He never cared for you, as he claimed. You were just a plaything to use and discard whenever you were unwilling. Did he indeed mean what he said? That the years you spent tucked away at Dragonstone were agony for him, or was that some ploy to disarm you and make you pliant in his bed? Aegon was an intelligent man, but you did not think him cunning.
Perhaps you would accept Ser Dalton Greyjoy's proposal and have the realm descend into madness. You would have the Greyjoy's fleet, army, and the Houses who already pledged loyalty to your Mother. Aegon would be dead before the end of that year if he were ever to take the Iron Throne.
"Yes. I will be a mother once more," Helaena spoke, a slight blush on her porcelain skin. "You are my closest friend, sweet cousin," she began, becoming bashful. "I would like you to assist with my birth in the coming moons. I-I know it's not for quite some time, but it would ease me greatly if you did."
You inhaled a shuddering breath, your polite smile slightly faltering. The idea of witnessing a birth firsthand frightened you deeply. You knew of the complications that could happen during the process and after it and how painful it was. You often wondered why women were chosen for such an act. It was men who ruled the world. Why was it not them who dealt with the burden? Men were free to do as they wished, take as many mistresses as they pleased, and govern countries as they saw fit. Why did they not have to carry the burdens of life? Why must it fall on women?
"Of course, Princess," you answered, your tone clipped though it seemed lost on the dreamy-eyed girl. She smiled in thanks, her lithe fingers intertwining with yours.
"Soon you shall be married and you'll understand the joys of child bearing. You're already so good with Jaehaerys. Some might even think he's your own if they did not know better." You couldn't hide the involuntary downward twitch of your mouth, your gaze changing into that of a frightened doe as she spoke. "I've heard whispers of Lord Dalton Greyjoy considering a betrothal. I wouldn't want you so far from me and the children, but I know you will do your duty should it come to that."
Helaena, oblivious to your discomfort, continued about different Houses that would be worthy of your hand, absentmindedly stroking your knuckles with her thumb.
In the naivety of your younger years, you believed your bastard status would prevent Lords from seeking a marriage. You planned to stay with your family for the rest of your days, assisting in politics and courtly matters while Rhaenyra ruled the Seven Kingdoms. Your life as a spinster would be happy without worrying about dying in the birthing bed like your Mother. But as all things did, the Gods seemed to have different plans for you.
You cleared your throat of the lump that had formed during Helaena's conversation, tentatively patting the back of her hand as you made up some excuse of promising Ser Arryk that you'd meet him in the library after your luncheon. The Princess was downtrodden to see you go but understood nevertheless, placing quick kisses on the tops of the twin's heads.
You exited Helaena's chambers in a flurry of gold embroidered black skirts, your sworn shield struggling to match your pace. The thick air of the Keep made sweat instantly seep from your pores, your exposed skin becoming sticky and uncomfortable.
You couldn't take it. The tears you had kept at bay finally stung your eyes, blurring your vision as you furiously wiped them away. Even when Aegon wasn't near you, he still affected your life. He was like a disease, infecting your mind with his plague, making you unable to think clearly and feel things you had no control over. Aegon's rot festered inside you like mold, its inky black tendrils invading your heart until it was a cold, immovable stone.
"Your Grace, wait!" Arryk called, his heavy silver armor clanking with his hurried movements. "Your Grace, what," he paused, inhaling an exerted breath as he saw your tears, "what's wrong?"
The knight placed a comforting hand on your shoulder that you shoved away as if it burned. "Nothing, Ser Arryk. I simply tire of the soupy weather."
He stepped back, a mixture of shock and hurt gracing his features. You had never rejected his affections before, and Arryk was at a loss for how to proceed.
"Princess, what ails you?" he insisted.
You flashed an indignant look at the knight, grimacing. "What ails me is nothing of your concern, Ser Cargyll," you snapped, continuing your brisk pace to your rooms.
"But Princess-"
"No," you interrupted, turning to face him and clenching your fists with your teeth bared. "Tis nothing of your concern. You are my sworn shield, not my friend. It would do you well to remember that."
The words slipped past your lips before you could stop them, regret taking hold of you. Arryk's usual stiff posture slackened, his shoulders slightly slumping, mouth parted in shock, and blue eyes wide with hurt. You wanted to rescind the vile sentences, but it was too late, for they had already cut the man deeper than any sword.
Sighing, you buried your face in your palms, hoping to rub the sweat and shame away. There was no purpose in apologizing. If you did, you wouldn't know if Arryk truly accepted it. He would follow your orders mindlessly, forever upholding his duty to the royal family. You looked away from the kingsguardmen, taking a breath to speak, but closed your mouth instead, resigning to your fate.
"Once you escort me to my rooms, you are dismissed for the day," you expressed, your voice holding a hint of passivity as you gesture.
Arryk nodded curtly, his body resuming its normal posture as he followed behind wordlessly.
***
As Jeyne and Fiora braided the last few strands of your ebony hair, you played with one of your daggers, observing the flickering metal in the vanity mirror as you spun it with the tip of your finger. Your eyes reflected someone who was not yourself.
Once bright orbs that burst with a ring of purple were now dull and lackluster, with a thin veil of fog clouding their color. Blue half circles decorated your lower eyelids, your cheeks devoid of the typical pink glow they held. Your lips were red, splotches of white skin healing from where you had bitten them raw.
Was this a sudden change, or did the features of you slowly drain until there was nothing left but a husk of your joyful self? The image of Queen Alicent flashed in your mind's eye; the woman always shrouded in green and pain you could never put a name to. For a moment, you felt pity for the poor woman, forced to marry a man twice her senior when she was but a girl, producing heirs for the King before your Mother was married, moved to sacrifice her girlhood for the sake of the kingdom, her family, and duty.
You released the dagger from your finger, letting it clatter on the polished vanity as Fiora flicked rose water into your braided hair. You would not let yourself feel pity for the woman who stood idle when shown the death of two innocents. She deserved whatever harm befell her and whatever pain is to come, the green bitch.
"Will you leave the window open tonight, along with a water basin? The room is still quite stuffy from the day, and I'm afraid I'll grow hot throughout the night," you asked the two maids, who nodded in acquiescence, forever kind and dutiful.
You would never let trouble befall them. They were innocents like Lyra and Sara. They needn't know more difficulty than what was already their station. Fiora and Jeyne left with small bows, bidding you a peaceful night's rest and promising to bring some citrus tea in the morning.
You stared at the stone ceiling above, the dark oak rafters, and a crisscross of different beams connecting like trails on a map. No spiderwebs were spun in the corners of the wood like Ma's little house. Every minute detail was accounted for. There was no dust resting on any surface like the pillow house. No loud lecherous moans sounded through thin straw-packed walls or rhythmic banging that used to lull you to sleep.
You sometimes missed the groans and whines that accompanied Ma's establishment. On your first night alone in the Red Keep, you could barely find rest in the silence, not because of the anxiety of what lay ahead but because it was noiseless, bone-chillingly so. One could sneeze, and the entire castle would hear it. Now, you had grown accustomed to the quiet and were sure that if you spent a night in your old bed, you would not find sleep.
You needed to visit Madame soon. It felt like an era since the last time you spoke to her, and she most certainly felt that, too. Despite what people believed, she was an excellent maternal figure in your life. She did her best to teach you the ways of life at a young age, and perhaps she did too well at that, for you knew things no child should know at the fresh age of one and ten. You learned how to steal, sew, and cook by eight, and by ten, you could lure men faster to the brothel than any whore could. At the time, you were proud of it, proud to excel in a task someone you looked up to gave you, but you understood now why you were so good at it, the hairs on your arms standing.
Swallowing your thoughts, you rose from the bed, going to your wardrobe and securing a long robe across your body. You stared at the discarded dagger atop your dressing vanity, the curved blade engraved with the body of a dragon, its head emerging from the widest end. The black leather of the hilt felt comforting against your scorching skin, tracing the smooth scale pattern that separated the silver dragon head that consisted of the cross guard and pommel.
You couldn't recall where or who gave you the thing, most likely another gift from Daemon. If you didn't know any better, you swore that your Father believed you to be a boy with the Harvest, Maiden Day, Yule, and nameday gifts he gave you.
Grabbing your dagger's holster, you buckled it just below your knee, admiring the contrast it created against your skin before dropping the hem of your nightdress. You brushed your digits through your braided hair, releasing a breath.
The maids left a single candlestick in its holder lit on your dining table, letters strewn about the obsidian-colored wood. You stared at the most recent letter of Lord Greyjoy, stating there had been sightings of a dragon near the border of the Iron Isles, burning the small plots of fields of his bannermen, though nobody had seen the coloring of it to be sure of who it belonged to. You knew it couldn't be your Father. Daemon liked to make statements with the Blood Wyrm and would be sure to be seen. Your Mother would never do such a thing, and Jace and Luke had no reason to fly across the entire continent of Westeros to burn little Lordling fields.
Vhagar was a beast in the skies, so one would see her flying. Dreamfyre, Tessarion, and their accompanying riders would only venture so far and reek dragon fire on unsuspecting people. Aegon was the only one whom you needed clarification on. His dragon was not particularly fast, but the golden scales of Sunfyre would reflect the sun's rays and blind those below. Still, you couldn't understand why the first son of the King would burn crops of unsuspecting civilians, but then again, Aegon was not the man you believed him to be, and he continued to prove that true.
You were unsure why you did it as the candle's flames licked the inked parchment, watching as the soft glow became bright orange, consuming the letter whole.
You cared not for any word of Lord Dalton since the announcement of his marriage proposal. The time your Father granted you to think made the reasoning for a refusal all the more apparent. The Lord Reaper of Pyke was a bloodthirsty man who was uncaring for the women in his life if adding three new Salt Wives since your courting was any indication. He was cruel to them, and you knew you would be treated no differently. Women were just commodities to the man, tiny tokens and treasure he collected on his travels to use as he pleased. You would not become his ornament nor any other man's so long as the dragon's blood flowed through your veins.
Once you reduced the letter to ashes, you pressed your ear against the chamber doors, listening in the silence of the night for the evening guard to snore. It was not more than twenty minutes before you heard the telltale noise emanate from the back of his throat, exiting the room with noiseless steps.
Your bare feet were sure in their strides, carrying you swiftly to your destination, knowing when to hide behind a corner and when to turn. You had traversed this pathway before, though it had been in the day and not lit by a single candle. The white streak in your hair was stark compared to your ebony locks, a single silver strand glowing in the moonlight as you padded to the lower barracks of the White Sword Tower.
Ser Edder would be readying for bed. He often spoke of his love for a good tome before sleep; you had even recommended some of your own. You didn't know why. Perhaps it was a tactic to soothe the guilt that knocked on your ribcage whenever you smiled too wide for what could be called acting. It was no matter. A man would be found dead by sunrise, and your pain would be vindicated.
There would be more men guarding the entrance to the knight's quarters, but it was late, the hour of the eel before the night's watch, and they would be craving rest like a drunkard to a bottle. You quickly slipped past a sleeping pair, found some awake, and threw a loose pebble left on the floor from insufficient cleaning.
Immediately striding to the door you knew was Edder's, you knocked thrice, glancing over your shoulders. You heard a soft shuffling from behind the wooden slab, a metal clanking, and then the creek of a hinge. Ser Edder's sword tip was pointed swiftly at your chest, eliciting a soft gasp from parted lips.
"Princess? What are you doing here? It's not safe," he chastised, placing his sword against the wall.
"I-" you stuttered, bringing your fingers to your lips as you looked around nervously. "I do not feel safe in my chambers, Ser Edder."
The knight glanced down both ends of the hall, staring at you briefly before opening the door wider. You stepped into his space, observing your surroundings much like Ser Lorgan's, save for a bookshelf filled with the appropriate items.
You turned towards Edder. Your body curled in on itself as you placed your candle and its holder on a small table. "I apologize for the impropriety of this visit, but I do not feel safe here."
Edder stepped closer, keeping a respectable distance as he observed your attire. "Princess, you are a member of the royal family. You're more guarded than the walls to Casterly Rock."
You laughed mirthlessly, a glint of bitterness behind your gaze. "You think too highly of the Hand, Ser. I believe they would sooner have me dead than waste a guard that could go toward his kin." You took a calming breath, placing the palms of your hands on your stomach to unwrap your robe, placing it next to your candle. "I'm frightened that the murderer will come for me. I was acquaintances with Ser Lorgan. What if I am next on his list? The Kingsguard and Gold Cloaks would not think twice before leaving me to protect the King."
Edder extended a comforting hand to your bicep but quickly placed it back at his side, turning it into a blanched fist. You had to fight the urge to smile.
Men are easy, simple creatures.
"You have your sworn shield, Ser Cargyll. He would stop at nothing to protect you, your grace," he protested softly, speaking like you were an untamed horse.
You hastily closed the distance between the two of you, grabbing his arm the same way he wished to do to you. "He cannot protect me at all hours of the day. The guard outside my room was asleep. That's how I was able get here. If-if I could so easily sneak by him undetected, how would I survive a trained killer? I would be dead by morn and no one would be none the wiser." You rambled to the knight above you, his moss-green eyes boring into your peculiar ones.
Edder thought they shimmered like a pool of amethyst, the purple and brown glimmering with undeniable beauty. You were enchanting, and the Gold Cloak was momentarily distracted by it in the dim glow of the room. You were the pure embodiment of the Maiden as you gazed up at him, your plump lips quivering with intensity.
It was only a moment, but you noticed how Ser Edder's gaze flickered downwards before returning to yours. His emotions were written plainly on his face, a picture book straightforward enough to read for even the simple-minded. You were pleasantly surprised how effortless it was to make him melt. All you needed to do was bat your pretty eyelashes and pout your plush lips.
"Will you protect me, Ser Edder? I fear no one else will," you pleaded doeishly.
"I-" You could spot the hesitancy in his voice as his muscles rippled beneath his cotton undershirt.
"Please, Ser, I beseech you." Edder swallowed thickly, the notch in his throat bobbing. "I need you, Ed. Please."
And that was all it took for the man to fall, his hand resting over yours as he nodded. You swiftly embraced him, hoping the action would ease him of regret or second-guessing. The knight slowly reciprocated the affection, loosening his tense posture.
Gods. Would they all act like this if a lady came crying and begging for their services? Would they forget propriety and respect simply due to a woman's moment of weakness? Or was it because you were a bastard, a Lady in name only, that Edder and Ser Lorgan felt comfortable enough to act in such a way? The thought only served to fuel your anger, and you squeezed His broad torso tighter.
"Thank you, Ser, thank you," you said breathlessly, releasing your hold as you gazed back into his.
You left no room to protest as you slammed your mouth onto his, all teeth and panting breaths as his lips remained stock still. You tangled your fingers into his cropped hair, digging them into his scalp to force him to reciprocate, but failed. Pulling away, you sucked in a much-needed breath, your eyes searching his face for any response to your actions.
Ser Edder looked down with reddened cheeks and bruised lips, a mixture of shock and pity on his features. Your body flared with the burn of rejection, your stomach churning with disgust at yourself, at your actions. Bile burned at the back of your throat, threatening to spill past your tongue as you separated from him as if his mere touch scorned you. You should've killed him before entering the room and saved yourself from this embarrassment.
"Princess," Ser Edder began, his voice so soft and kind that it made you want to scream. You turned away from him, cheeks flaming as you held your stomach, a wave of vile shame overtaking you. "Let me escort you back to your chambers."
You stepped toward the table where your candle was and gripped the edge, bracing yourself on the side of it as you inhaled deeply.
"Tis not safe for you to venture back alone, your grace," he continued. You rolled your eyes in response, your white-knuckled grip loosening as you faced him.
"You're correct, Ser Edder. It is not safe. Please escort me back to my rooms." The knight nodded, reaching the door as you hastily rucked up your nightdress and unsheathed your dagger.
Your legs carried your body on quick limbs, plunging the curved blade into the space between Ser Edder's shoulder and spine. The man hollered in pain as you jumped on his back, attempting to slice his throat, more wildling than a woman. He effortlessly pushed you to the side, falling onto the stone floor like a ragdoll, cracking your skull against the stone floor. Your vision swam, unable to open your eyes as fast as your mind told them to as you felt a hand grasp the wrist holding the knife.
"Princess, stop this. You're feeling unwell." You yanked your arm from his grasp, blinking rapidly to try and clear your head.
You refused to dignify the man with a response, freeing yourself from Ser Edder as you scrabbled away, putting your body in between him and the door. You assumed a guarded position as the knight glanced at the sword on the wall beside you. Before Edder could think to reach for it, you lunged forward, using the height difference to your advantage as he tumbled to the ground below you. You poised the dagger above your head, ready to drive it downward, but Ser Edder blocked it.
Your years of training were little compared to his lifetime as you struggled, using your body weight to aid the force. His arms shook below you, realizing his life would be forfeit if he didn't think of some way to stop you. Edder brought his knee to your side, faulting your movements as the blade slipped between his hands and cut through the meat of his shoulder, letting out a cry of pain.
You groaned in displeasure, curling in on your side as you regained your balance, gritting your teeth and smacking your head against his. Blood trickled from his nose, the positioning slightly out of place as he blinked rapidly. You repositioned the dagger, plunging it into his chest with a growl. Edder's squirming caused you to miss the vital area of his heart, puncturing his lung as you went to do it again, only to be stopped by a strong arm, thumb digging into the tendons of your wrist until you dropped the weapon.
You clabbered off the knight as you crawled to the knife, your fingers dusting the leather hilt as you were pulled across the flagstone floor, nails scraping. Kicking and flailing your legs, Ser Edder subdued you, kneeling on your back to keep you flush with the floor as he pinned your hands behind you.
"Princess, we must get you to a Maester. You are not well. I'll explain to him that it was a bout of Hysteria and we shall forget the whole thing," the Gold Cloak attempted to reason, only to be met with a feral snarling as you wriggled beneath him.
"Get off of me you, bastard! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you for what you did!" you screamed, the muscles in your neck and back cramping.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Princess. I-I apologize for not returning your affections, but I am a man sworn to the City's Watch, my duty comes before-"
"You stupid fucking man! You are dead! You're fucking dead for what you did to them! I'll have your head sitting on a spike just as you did for them!"
Edder was silent above you, and you kicked your heel into his back, his grip loosening enough to where you could wiggle your arms free, propelling upwards and hitting your crown against his already injured nose. You grabbed the sides of his head before he could recover, slamming his bloodied face into your knee as he collapsed. You swung your bare foot into his stomach next, then his chest, knocking the escaping air out.
Scooping the dagger up from the ground, you quickly stabbed it between his ribs, ensuring it pierced past the flesh and into his guts, just as your Father taught you. Blood poured out of the line-shaped hole, staining his undershirt and the soles of your feet. Edder's arms immediately went to the wound as you kneeled, grabbing him by the roots of his perfectly cropped hair, sneering.
"Years ago, you and Ser Lorgan Sunderly put two innocent women to death. One a humble servant to the realm and the other a whore. My only family, and you killed them. Chopped off their heads and left them for the birds and maggots to eat. I wish I could afford you the same treatment, but," you pause, inhaling a deep breath as Ser Edder slapped weakly at your face, "we can't all get what we want. I wonder how your dearest Mother will fare after the news of your gruesome murder reaches her. Will she weep for you as I did? Will she curse the Gods for taking away her beloved son?" You chuckled darkly, the sound foreign, like it didn't belong to you.
"If the Gods are truly as merciful as we believe, perhaps the stranger will greet the woman before long. I wouldn't want her to live with the pain." You released Ser Edder's sweat-dampened hair, rising from your knees as you wet to his cot, wiping the blood from your hands and face.
Soft groans sounded behind you, and you turned to see the man standing, staggering toward the door and cradling his side as if that would change his fate. He would bleed out before any guard came to his rescue; you ensured that. You observed him silently as he stumbled to the wooden door of his chamber, tilting your head in a peculiar curiosity as if you were studying one of Helaena's insects. Edder's attempted escape was endearing, and it almost hurt your heart as you walked towards him.
With the curve of your blade pointed towards you, you wrapped your free arm around his skull, slowly sliding the hair-like edge across the thin flesh of his throat as blood sprayed onto his only exit. His body dropped to an unmoving heap on the floor, his gurgling drowned out by the crimson liquid spurting from his neck as it seeped into the cracked stone below.
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Songs the Ninjago Fandom is Sleeping on.
Okay so while I do art there's only so much my chronic pain ridden hands can produce and so animatics/animations aren't really in my wheelhouse BUT I have a bunch of ideas and songs that the Ninjago fandom should use + some ideas that yall can totally use (@ me or send them to me though if you do cause I want to see them)
The Songs in question (it's be song-artist btw):
Always Gold-Radical Face: Is literally a perfect song for Wu and Garmadon, like it's literally about two opposite brothers treading wildly different paths like what more could you want
Brutus- The Buttress: Yall please I am begging that someone does something with this song relating to Morro's hatred/jealousy towards Lloyd because this song is absolutely perfect for it! Lines such as "-and if you want I'll call you king but why do I lie awake each night thinking "instead of you it should be me"" and "Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy, I to have a destiny" there are so many more but I'll let yall do the rest of the work (Also you could kinda do it with Wu and Garmadon but ehhhh)
Human Enough- ONR: This could work for multiple of the characters if you ask me but if you ship anyone with Zane or Pixal the song could totally work those two them specifically cause it talks about the singers partner/love interest being "made perfect" and idk we need more Pixal content soooo. Honestly any of the characters that get de-human-ed (for longer than one episode) would do great with this song, like Cole in his ghost arc, Nya after Seabound or Garmadon at like any point in the story. Line examples: "Cause you are made of perfect stars and I was built from broken parts" and "I'm not human enough to love yo right now/ I'm not human enough to cry or cry for" are my personal favorites.
Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)-Will Wood: Lloyd, Sora or Wu (Specifically the young version of him from the Spinjitzu Brothers books) song about the weight of the world being on your shoulders and not knowing what to do and like the consequences of actions and fun stuff like that
Easier- Crane Wives: Misako, like seriously so many Crane Wives songs work well for this woman because A) her whole attempt to change destiny or B) Her failure as a mother and you know the whole kinda cheating on her husband thing, but this one specifically cause it's a song about leaving someone behind and feeling bad while also not being able to stay. Lyrics such as "If you woke and I was gone from the house that we made our home would it bend yo, break you, overtake your heart?" and "I won't move but I can't stay here. So what the hell am I supposed to do?" and "If I were someone else, would this be easier?"
Stranglers Fig- This could definitely be a Cole (specifically relating to his father and dance backstory) or Kai song, many of the lyrics involve someone being pushed to do more and more and finally snapping because they've done everything they can and there's nothing left but their desire to be better. Lyrics "You bult your kingdom around me, now I'm trapped within your walls and all I want is to be free" and "Climb me to the canopy, higher, higher 'till there's nothing left of me." and "You're the culprit so don't blame me."
And that's all for tonight cause I'm tired BUT I will be posting a couple more of these cause I have a bunch of these floating in my brain and I'd love it if some of these idea's inspire people. I really wish I could do it myself but chronic pain is a bitch so instead I'll throw it out for yall to try out! Anyways I hope you have a great day/night! Peace out!
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lucifersresources · 1 year
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taylor swift // reputation rp meme.
edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  
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...ready for it?
knew he was a killer.
he's a ghost.
i see nothing better.
touch me and you'll never be alone.
no one has to know.
in my dreams, you should see the things we do.
i know i'm gonna be with you.
are you ready for it?
every love in comparison is a failure.
i'm so very tame now.
let the games begin.
end game.
i wanna be your end game.
you and me, we got big reputations.
i got some big enemies.
you like the bad ones.
i don't wanna miss you.
i don't wanna hurt you.
they told you i'm crazy.
i swear i don't love the drama, it loves me.
i can't let you go.
your hand prints on my soul.
you've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks.
i did something bad.
i never trust a narcissist, but they love me.
this is how the world works.
all he thinks about is me.
i can feel the flames on my skin.
i owe him nothing.
he had it coming.
they say i did something bad.
they say i did something bad, then why's it feel so good?
i let them think they saved me.
they never see it coming.
you gotta leave before you get left.
they're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one.
don't blame me.
love made me crazy.
my drug is my baby.
i've been breaking hearts a long time.
something happened.
i just need you.
for you i would cross the line.
for you i would lose my mind.
she's gone too far this time.
i'm just gonna call you mine.
i'm insane, but i'm your baby.
i once was poison ivy, but now i'm your daisy.
for you i would fall from grace.
i'd beg you on my knees to stay.
i get to high every time you're loving me.
delicate.
this ain't for the best.
my reputation's never been worse.
you must like me for me.
we can't make any promises now can we?
just think of the fun things we could do.
is it cool that i said all that?
is it chill that you're in my head?
i know that it's delicate.
is it too soon to do this yet?
do the girls back home touch you like i do?
stay here, honey, i don't wanna share.
are you ever dreaming of me?
i pretend you're mine.
look what you made me do.
i don't like your little games.
i don't like your perfect crime.
i got smarter, i got harder in the nick of time.
i rose up from the dead.
i rose up from the dead, i do it all the time.
look what you made me do.
all i think about is karma.
maybe i got mine, but you'll all get yours.
i don't trust nobody.
i'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.
so it goes.
you make everyone disappear.
gold cage, hostage to my feelings.
i'm yours to keep.
i'm yours to lose.
i do bad things with you.
you make me jealous.
i got your heart skipping.
you did a number on me.
gorgeous.
you've ruined my life by not being mine.
you're so gorgeous.
i'm so furious at you for making me feel this way.
i feel like i might sink and drown and die.
there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have.
getaway car.
nothing good starts in a getaway car.
it was the best of times, the worst of crimes.
i wanted to leave him.
i needed a reason.
x marks the spot where we fell apart.
i was lying to myself.
we never had a shotgun shot in the dark.
don't pretend it's such a mystery.
think about the place where you first met me.
there were sirens in the beat of your heart.
should've known i'd be the first to leave.
but with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow.
a circus ain't a love story.
now we're both sorry.
us traitors never win.
that was the last time you ever saw me.
king of my heart.
i'm perfectly fine.
i'm better off alone.
we rule the kingdom inside my room.
all at once, you are the one i have been waiting for.
you are all i want.
i'll never let you go.
your love is a secret i'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep.
the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury.
is this the end of all the endings?
my broken bones are mending.
all at once, this is enough.
this is enough.
dancing with our hands tied.
i loved you in secret.
we love without reason.
how were you to know.
my love had been frozen.
my love had been frozen deep blue, but you painted me golden.
you painted me golden.
i could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets.
there was nothing in the world that could stop it.
i had a bad feeling.
you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis.
there was no one in the world who could take it.
i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us.
can we dance through an avalanche?
i'm a mess.
i'm the mess that you wanted.
it's gravity keeping you with me.
dress.
they got no idea about me and you.
there is an indentation in the shape of you.
made your mark on me.
my hands are shaking from holding back from you.
say my name and everything just stops.
i don't want you like a best friend.
only bought this dress so you could take it off.
carve your name into my bedpost.
if i get burned, at least we were electrified.
everyone thinks that they know us.
they know nothing.
even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me.
now i wake up by your side.
my one and only, my lifeline.
this is why we can't have nice things.
there are no rules.
feeling so gatsby for that whole year.
why'd you have to rain on my parade?
this is why we can't have nice things.
did you think i wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?
you stabbed me in the back.
friends don't try to trick you.
if only you weren't so shady.
here's a toast to my real friends.
forgiveness is a nice thing to do.
i can't even say it with a straight face.
call it what you want.
my castle crumbled overnight.
they took the crown.
they took the crown, but it's alright.
nobody's heard from me in months.
nobody's heard from me in months, i'm doing better than i ever was.
i'm doing better than i ever was.
call it what you want.
my baby loves me like i'm brand new.
all my flowers grew back as thorns.
he built a fire just to keep me warm.
they fade to nothing when i look at him.
i make the same mistakes every time.
at least i did one thing right.
i did one thing right.
starry eyes sparking up my darkest night.
he really knows me.
you don't need to save me.
would you run away with me?
you don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?
new year's day.
don't read the last page.
i stay when you're lost.
i'm scared.
you're turning away.
i want your midnights.
i'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day.
you squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi.
i can tell that it's gonna be a long road.
i'll be there if you're the toast of the town.
i'll be there if you're the toast of the town, or if you strike out and you're crawling home.
hold on to the memories.
hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you.
please don't ever become a stranger.
don't ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognise anywhere.
you and me forevermore.
i will hold on to you.
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swanmaids · 11 months
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Idril counted the steps under her silver feet as she climbed the Tower of the King. As she counted, she tried to settle her thoughts.
One, two; I’ll tell father this evening.
Seven, eight; the gifts that I neither ask for nor desire, the stares, the presence itching at my mind, looking for a way in. The constant, constant pestering.
The way it makes me feel - cold, and afraid.
Thirteen, fourteen; once I’ve told father he’ll make him stop. He'll put an end to it.
There; she had done it, she had made a desicion. She imagined her plan as a physical thing, solid and unbreakable as the statues that danced and hunted and worshipped along the streets of Gondolin.
It had been a while since she had seen those statues, each one hidden by dark oiled cloth as they were. The tower too was dark as she climbed. The vibrant tapestries that normally adorned the walls had all been removed. After a battle so dreadful it could scarcely be spoken of, the city and her king were once again in mourning.
Would she really disturb her father in his grief with something so comparatively trivial?
Nineteen, twenty; what am I thinking? No, I won’t say anything.
Twenty four, twenty five; I can’t put yet more pain on my father.
Twenty nine, thirty; Maeglin and I are all he has left. It would break his heart once more to turn him against my cousin.
She felt faintly sick. What was wrong with her? To complain of recieving unwanted gifts, of all things, when Beleriand was in ruins and her father had watched in helpless agony as his last brother was crushed by their enemy right before his eyes - she must be the most spoiled, selfish woman in the world to even think of it.
Idril sometimes feared that she was evil. That there was something rotten within her which she had somehow concealed from the world, that festered nonetheless. Such pathetic concerns felt like proof.
She thought to turn back and flee to her own apartments, but her father had summoned her and so she walked on, and with every step she took, the knots tied around her heart became yet more tangled.
Forty, forty one; but I don't know how much longer I can bear things as they are.
By the time she had reached the three hundred and eighth, final step, Idril's chest and head hurt. She felt as though she was once again a small girl, one who wanted to wail and cry and be comforted. And she felt like a child once again because she had nothing in the world to cry about.
~
Her father's face was grave when she saw him. Dressed in simple dark robes unbefitting of the king of the Noldor and with his hair pinned under a hairnet, Turgon was the picture of austere mourning, but he embraced her tightly when she entered.
"Idril," he said as he released her, and then paused for a long moment. "I called you here because I owe you an apology. I have not been... present with you, as of late. I have neglected you, my daughter, in favour of the dead, and for that I am sorry."
There was a stone in her throat. There was a needle in her heart. Idril looked at her feet and mutely shook her head over and over. She could not trust herself to speak, but this could not be allowed to stand - she could not have her father place even more blame upon himself, not when things were already so dire.
"No," she managed eventually, "no, you haven't done anything wrong. Nobody could begrudge you your grief, father, myself least of all."
"But you are hurting too," he said, "many have noticed. Won't you at least tell me how I can help?"
An unwanted tear ran down her cheek. "I -" she cut herself off. She could not form the words - she thought of voicing her cousin's name, and it stuck in her throat.
"Is it- is it about Galdor's boys? Is that what's hurting you- I know you loved them - I loved them too, and you must know that it crushed us all to leave them," Turgon asked quietly.
Idril felt herself start to cry harder, as though she was observing her own reactions from outside of herself. What sort of a person was she, so concerned over her cousin's attentions, when her friends had suffered such a terrible fate? Surely Hurin and Huor would have traded anything to be in her place.
Her father looked panicked. "Oh, now I've made you feel worse - come here, sweetheart -" he took her into his chest, and tucked her head into his shoulder, stroking it gently with a large hand. "My precious princess," he mumbled into her hair.
She wept into her father's arms for what felt like the longest time, but when she finally raised her head, seemingly all cried out, she saw through the window that the sun had barely moved down in the sky.
"If you don't want to tell me... that's alright too... well, it's not alright, but..." Turgon trailed off.
Idril stood back and steadied herself, slowly and deliberately taking a shaky breath. She imagined herself gathering up all of her fears about her cousin and locking them in the small box deep within her heart where she kept her memories of the Ice and her longing for her mother, never to be opened.
She clasped her father's hand in hers and summoned up a smile. Up close, he looked more exhausted than she could remember seeing him this side of the Ice. Idril may have been weak and selfish, but she did not think herself cruel. She would give him nothing more to worry about. No more tears.
"Please, father, don't trouble yourself. I promise, I'll be just fine." She smiled as hard as she could, though he did not look convinced. "Nothing at all is wrong."
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