Mistakes and regrets
â Pairing: Loki x Reader
â Synopsis: Loki is a prisoner that sees his way out through pretending to date you, but when he finds true love he doesn't know how to deal with the guilt of making a very similar damage to the one that had been done to him when he was used for what originally were selfish reasons.
â Word Count: 10.5k, I think that's my longest fic yet, and written in the shortest time lapse, not sure what that says about my mental stability rn.
â Notes: As I proofread I noticed this could be interpreted as generational trauma, sort of... given I made Loki sort of mirror what Odin did to him. But I wasn't trying to be deep, I just felt like shit during the week and used this to cope. The fic might be cringy as a result, I am honestly not sure.
â Warnings: Depression and guilt are the focus points of this storyline. Loki starts is kinda toxic his behavior here isn't meant to be romanticized or intended to be extrapolated to real life, I just wanted to explore a narrative surrounding poor decisions and the dealing of its consequences. The reader is kinda a Mary Sue of sweetness but I just wanted to hammer in Loki feeling bad and guilty. I don't know if this is a trigger but I touch the vault scene of Loki and Odin and Odin being forgiven is also handled, Idk if that's trigger warning worthy but I know most of the fandom hates him.
âYouâre not making it any for me brother.â Thor spoke through the glass.
âI want my freedom, brother.â Loki sighed, sitting down on the uncomfortable bench. âDonât think of me as ungrateful, but as much as I appreciate not being executed, I canât exactly call this a life.â
âDirector Fury insisted, Iâve tried explaining to him that New York was a complicated situation. But he wants to be sure you are not a threat to Earthâ uh, Midgard.â
âYou've surely adapted well to living hereâ Loki rolled his eyes. âPathetic.â
âCooperate with me, I brotherâ Thor begged. âI want to help you, but I need you to help me first.â
âIâm not sure what I am expected to do from hereâ Loki huffed annoyed.
Thor sighed and gave his little brother a sympathetic look. Loki was frustrated, and he couldnât blame him. He would be too if he got brainwashed, had all his anger, sense of betrayal and resentment exploited to torture an innocent planet, and still be the one to pay for said crimes⊠Sure he wouldnât be all jokes and laughs.
âIâve been negotiating a way to test your stability and get your freedomâ Thor smiled hoping to cheer up his brother. And he made Loki look up. âItâd be a bit uncomfortable at first. But I know you can prove yourself. Youâd have to wear cuffs or a while, but youâd be free to walk around with me and the others on trips to the city.â
âHoorayâŠâ Loki rolled his eyes.
âPlease brother, Iâm trying, I just need you to be patient.â Thor spoke sadly as he made his way out. âI hate this as much as you do.â
âDo you?â Loki said. âAs far as I know, youâre not the one in a crystal cell.â
âAlright, almost as much as you do.â Thor joked softly and Loki did chuckle weakly.
He agreed that Thor had been furious. But it all happened so fast.
Thor had managed to land a fatal blow on Thanosâ chest and soon Steve, Natasha, and Bruce had arrived to back him up and retrieve the Infinity gauntlet. They opened a portal to bring back Tony, Doctor Strange, and the Spider Ling⊠And surprisingly a weird group of space travelers.
When Thor realized they could travel to anywhere in the universe they opened a portal to rescue the Asgardian ship. There were a lot of severe wounds but surprisingly Thanos had failed, he underestimated the strength of Asgard, and most people could be saved.
âThor!â Valkyrie screamed and rushed to hug the king.
âValkyrie! You are alright! Thank goodness!â Thor smiled in relief and hugged his friend.
âThor you have to come quick!â Valkyrie urged him. âItâs Loki!â
Thorâs heart sank, his heart couldnât stand burying the only family member he had left. Thor had lost his parents⊠he had seen his whole planet die. But not his baby brother. Not Loki. Not again.
âPlease⊠not now⊠Letâs treat the wounded ones firstâŠâ Thor spoke with a knot on his throat. âI want to focus on saving lives first.â
âThor, you donât get it! Heâs alive!â Valkyrie scolded him. âBut heâs in a critical state! We need to take him to a safe place to treat him.â
A tear streamed down the new kingâs face, and he felt as if he had finally put down a enormous boulder he had been holding onto. He didnât lose Loki.
âTake me to him!â Thor urged them.
Valkyrie took Thor to a damaged room in the ship that had been used as an improvised infirmary. In the corner laid a figure Thor knew too well being treated by healers.
âBrother!â Thor said. âOh Gods⊠Youâre aliveâŠâ
âYou canât get rid of me that easily thunder brain⊠ughâŠ!â Loki joked weakly as he groaned in pain. The healers begged him not to move as they tried stabilizing his condition. His neck had been nearly obliterated.
It was a miracle Loki hadnât died and that the healers had managed to find him on time.
âWe couldnât abandon himâ one of the healers spoke politely to her king. âAfter all, it was because of you and prince Loki that Lady Valkyrie managed to evacuate the survivors. We apologize for not finding you, my king.â
âItâs no problem at allâ Thor laughed in an uncharacteristically quiet manner. He was breathless. âThank you for saving my brotherâs life.â
The lady healer let out a sheepish giggle and bowed. Loki rolled his eyes, earning a lecture from the healers that were still treating him. King or not, Thor still had that charm that seemed to make most people swoon.
The reunion was interrupted by a group of soldiers that broke in with a logo on their uniforms that made Thorâs blood boil when they pointed their weapons at Loki. SHEILD.
They picked up the stretcher where Loki was laying in and took him away to lock him up.
Apparently, the news travel fast, but SHIELD travels faster, and hearing Loki was alive was enough to mobilize and capture the injured God and lock him in a crystal prison cell in a SHIELD base. If Loki had a coin for every time that happened⊠heâd have two.
He couldnât say Thor didnât do anything about it. He could hear the thunders and enraged screams from his brother, demanding for an explanation and Lokiâs immediate liberation.
âI demand my brother is released immediately!â Thor yelled.
âYou should consider yourself grateful weâre allowing your witches to go and heal that world-level threat! He would be better off dead!â
âDonât you dare speak of my brother like that! Me and all of my people wouldâve died if it wasnât for him!â
Loki wasnât sure if he was amused or if he felt bad.
It did stroke his ego being called âAsgardâs heroâ in the middle of the yelling. It shouldnât have surprised him that Nick Fury was just as loud as Thor when angry. He couldnât complain much. It made it much easier to hear what was going on, which was good, he was too weakened to use his magic to spy on them.
The healers tending to his neck sure seemed awkward overhearing the fight. It must have been uncomfortable to be doing your job in a high security cell. So, he tried entertaining the healers as he could. Although all he got was a lecture when his magic drained his energy, and they needed him awake to monitor him.
Soon he got better, he but wasnât allowed to be out of his cell. It was a bit nostalgic, in some dark and twisted way. It even made him want to fix his old horned helmet, even if Thor would call him a cow for wearing it.
And when things couldnât get worse⊠he met you.
âItâs lunch timeâ a voice said in a weirdly friendly tone before you head popped by the entrance as you balanced a tray of food on your head in an attempt to amuse Loki. He wondered if there were buffoons in Midgard, but you always tried to draw a laugh from him⊠Tried.
âTough crowd, eh?â
Loki couldnât not be baffled by the way you talked to him. Although he couldnât decide if that was because you surely knew his reputation as Midgardâs terrorist or because you always talked in a friendly and goofy tone in a maximum-security prison in a super-secret spy agency. You also seemed to be awfully young to be here, but you couldnât be much older than the girl Barton took as his protĂ©gĂ©e.
âWhatâs on the menu today?â Loki asked in a more formal tone.
âWhy the hurry?â you asked, âdonât tell me you got somewhere else to be.â
âYou think you are a lot funnier than you really areâ Loki rolled his eyes. âAnd itâs not very nice to make fun of someoneâs disgrace.â
âI hear you think Iâm at least a little bit funnyâ you smiled as you kept balancing the tray of food on your head.
âPlease donât drop my food, Iâd like to have at least something to eatâ he rolled his eyes.
You tripped on your feet, and he saw the tray falling down, you caught it last second with your shins, and gave him a little sheepish grin.
âAlright, alright, Iâm impressedâ Loki groaned. âCan I eat now please? Or is having you torment me part of some attempt to break me?â
âWhy are you so moody?â you asked. âMore than usual, I mean.â
âIâm starving, and you humans eat way too littleâ Loki finally admitted. âBut that is still better than nothing⊠Please.â
You stopped playing around and you looked at him as you got the tray into his cell.
âSorry, I didnât know you were eating so little.â You admitted.
âI barely have energy to cast small illusions, which would serve to entertain myself.â Loki complained as he sat to eat and you sat by the table and looked at him, you didnât seem afraid, curious at most. You watched him eat and took his dirty plates by the end.
You weirded him out.
You always did something along the same lines; you came to bring him food, teased him a little and then left when you were gone. Although this time you had asked more questions about him. And you seemed more pensive while he ate.
And later that day he got a surprise. Usually, he just saw you to deal with you while he ate. But today you returned with a brown paper bag on your hands and a backpack, you never carried personal objects with you.
âWhat now?â he groaned.
You said nothing but opened the door to pass him food and slid the bag inside. Loki opened his end and grabbed the bag, it was warm, and it had a strong smell inside, he reached and pulled out a weird soft cushion with a white cover.
âBurâŠger? What this?â he asked as he read the yellow letters.
âItâs foodâ you smiled. âCafeteria is closed until dinner, so I thought bringing you something else might boost your mood.â
âThis looks like junkâ he snarled, making you laugh.
âItâs something like that.â
Loki looked inside the bag and looked at you.
âThereâs no fork.â
âYou eat it with your handsâ you smiled and pretended to grab a burger and bite it. âLike a sandwich.â
âWhatâs a sandwich?â Loki asked, making you laugh again.
Loki tried to take a bit, imitating your gesture, but you stopped with a squeaky laugh.
âUnwrap it first!â you laughed. âThe white thing paper is not edible.â
Usually Loki wouldâve argued more. But he had been really hungry, so he agreed.
âThe taste is agreeable enough.â
âTry the fries!â you said eagerly.
âThese yellow sticks?â he asked pulling out one fry from the bag, and you giggle once again, he was learning you were quite easy to amuse.
âYes, the yellow sticks, theyâre potatoes with salt and soaked in hot oil to cook themâ you smiled.
âThat sounds unhealthyâ he said, but he surely didnât pass up the extra meal, and while heâd never admit it, but it was tasty.
âIt is on the long runâ you agreed. âBut you donât eat these every day. Itâs more like⊠something you eat when you particularly crave it. Like a treat.â
âWhatâs on your bag?â Loki asked, a lot more agreeable now with a full stomach.
âAh, you said you didnât have much to doâ you said and passed him bag. âItâs a portable DVD player and old movies.â
âI understood the word portable from that whole sentenceâ Loki said in an obvious tone.
He wasnât new to technology, but unlike Earth, Asgard only used technology for practical purposes like travel and fighting. Never for entertainment.
âYou can watch recorded over produced plays on the screenâ you said adapting to what Loki might be familiar with. âFury said you canât have access to internet, so I thought since I donât use this anymore itâd keep you entertained while Thor negotiates your freedom. And if you need something else, I could surely get it for you.â
Loki was trying to process it all while he followed your instructions to set up the devices you brought him. Now heâd finally give some use to the electricity plugins on his cell.
âWhy are you so nice to me?â Loki asked.
âI donât knowâ you shrugged. âYou seem like you could use some kindness.â
âIâm a charity case?â Loki asked, not sure if he was thankful or offended.
âYou wish. If I was charitable, I wouldâve brought a fancy brand of fast food, and youâre a good junkyard to bring my old stuffâ you snarled, making Loki laugh, for real this time.
Your cheeks flushed and were soon surrounded in a clod of silver mist. And when it disappeared you had vanished already.
Now that⊠Loki didnât see coming. He had heard of your kind when he took control of some of SHIELD agents, humans with supernatural abilities. You were a mutant, and for the looks of it, one with teleportation powers. Now it made sense why someone seemingly so ordinary was in a place like this, flirting with a prisoner.
Interesting.
The next few days you kept bringing him food as usual, but two things had changed. One, the portions were bigger now, Loki now got to eat to a point where he was satisfied. Two, you joked around a lot less, in fact, you simply brought the food and stayed nearby in silence, and Loki had caught you staring at him with rosy cheeks.
So, you did fancy him⊠Truly interesting. And quite flattering too, he at least had to agree you were quite appealing to stare at.
âI watched one of your⊠Dee Bee DeesâŠâ Loki started the conversation while he ate. âThe one with the funny doctorâŠâ
âThat⊠doesnât narrow it down muchâ you finally spoke. âSarcastic asshole with a wounded leg?â
âHe is sarcastic, but he treats patients with joy and laughter and goes against the rules. Like the pair of legs at the entranceâ Loki specified. âIt was a sweet story⊠I did feel bad for him when he lost his⊠you know.â
âAh, yeahâŠâ you said sadly.
For a few more days, the routine kept like that, you seemed a lot shyer than before and now Loki was the one pursuing your attention and with an arsenal of movies you had watched he always had a way to start conversation.
When he was sure he had properly understood your interest in him, he made his move.
While Loki wasnât as flashy as Thor, he never had much trouble swooning anyone of his interest, with years of etiquette lessons and nourishing his mind with the most exquisite novels and books Asgard had to offer he knew how to charm anyone he desired.
And soon enough he was courting you. He recited for you the collection of the most exquisite verses he had memorized and casted his illusions of roses and butterflies for you to enjoy a romantic set up.
Soon Fury had two people demanding for his liberation. And since Loki had been in his best behavior Fury didnât have an excuse to keep Loki locked up and while he had a tracker on his ankle and Asgardian magic bracelets capable of suppressing his magic.
You were there when they let Loki out and he made sure to hug you first. The more in love he seemed, the sooner heâd be truly free. You melted against his embrace and wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug.
Loki felt a light tug on his chest. He couldnât remember the last time someone out of his parents and Thor been so eager and happy to hug him.
âI had been dreaming of thisâŠâ you spoke softly. âAnd your hugs are even cozier than I imagined.â
That felt like a dagger to his heart. Why were you so sweet?
âAlright, Bambi, if you try something your little sweetheart will let us know right away, got it?â Tony warned him.
You wrapped your arms around Lokiâs bicep pressing yourself against him.
âHeâs gonna be perfectâ you defended him. âAnd if Iâm wrong you can lock me up as well for helping a criminal out.â
Second dagger. What kind of idiot were you trusting him so blindly? Could you really not see he just wanted his freedom?
Loki finally had a proper room, or something like that. He would be staying in the Avengers Compound when the Helicarrier landed⊠until then there was a room where he, Thor, and basically everyone stayed.
Your bed the one right above Lokiâs. Loki sighed. Just a few more days. Loki laid down and saw you looking down at him, peeking from your bed with big sparkling eyes.
âYes?â Loki said in his best sweet loving tone.
âS-SorryâŠâ you mumbled as your cheeks got red. âIâm just really happy youâre here.â
âAww, young loveâŠâ Kate cooed.
âSHUT UP! IâM OLDER THAN YOU!â you screeched and threw a pillow right at her face, making Loki smiled softly.
âYouâre both babiesâŠâ Yelena grinned.
âShut up, you hag!â you and Kate argued.
âYouâre all babiesâŠâ Bucky corrected.
âDONâT STICK YOUR NOSE, YOU FOSSIL!â the three of you argued.
âIâm⊠not gonna join this argument being 1,500 years oldâ Thor laughed and soon eased the mood in all laughter again.
Meanwhile Loki wouldnât stop thinking what you said to him. âIâm happy youâre here.â Third stab⊠How could you be so happy and attached to him so easily and quickly?
The next few days he had resigned to adapt to train with you. He had been a warrior all his life, but being a soldier was too boring for him. It was a lot of training, gym workouts, more training, and meetings. He saw you nodding off during the latter. Where did you pull the energy to play and joke around with him when you went to bring food to him while he had been locked up?
You yawned and rested against his shoulder as you dozed off during lunch once. You were so warm and trusted him more than he deserved. You seemed awfully comfortable around him.
Every spare moment you had was dedicated to him, you were awfully cuddly and touchy. Loki wasnât used to this in the slightest. At first playing along seemed impossible. But your kisses were so gentle and tender, more often than not he found his eyes fluttering close and his hands wrapping around your waist in a loving way. Even sharing a room with a lot of people seemed more fun if he got to study your reactions.
âTake that!â you screamed as you and Kate smacked each other with pillows, but when a stray pillow hit Natasha in the back of the head, it was war.
Everyone was throwing and hitting each other with pillows until someone pushed you to Lokiâs arms who had stayed out of the war as just a bystander. No one seemed to be paying much attention to him, but now you were.
Your face was beet red, and you were blabbering apologies if you had hurt him, (which, you hadnât). But Loki simply smiled and grabbed your sides and started squeezing them, causing you to squeal and burst out laughing.
Oh, of course you were ticklish, he shouldâve known. Hel, you irradiated this aura that just screamed âtickle me!â And as the God of Mischief, he was drawn to ticklish little things such as yourself, to make sure he could exploit every ticklish little inch of your giggly body. It had always been a pretty harmless way to ease his need to cause mayhem.
Soon the entire room was in fits of laughter since Loki had unintentionally inspired a tickle war.
âH-Hohohohoney! Pleahahahahase!â you begged Loki, âthahahahahat tickles!â
âSo? I hope it doesnât bother you, my dearâ Loki purred in your ear as his fingers traveled up and down your ribs, causing you to screech. âI think Iâd like to play with my pretty little toy some moreâŠâ
âNohohohoho! Please! Hehehehehe! S-Stop it!â you giggled until you had proofed to reappear at the top bunk bed, right by the time someone else had surrendered and called truce.
Thor. His stomach was sore from laughing and he needed a break. But the big Asgardian was confident enough to not be affected by being the one to surrender in such harmless play fight.
âIâm nostalgicâ Thor laughed. âReminds me of the sleep overs with Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif.â
âI wouldnât know, I was never invited.â Loki said.
âWHAT?!â you gasped and threw a pillow at Thorâs head in Lokiâs defense. âJERK! TO YOUR OWN BROTHER!â
âWhat do you mean?â Thor asked. âYou rejected us every time.â
âWhat are you talking about? You never invited me, brotherâ Loki explained. âBy the time I had found out, you were all locked in your chambers.â
âSif and the guys always said you said noâ Thor said. âThatâs why I always made smaller sleepovers with just you and me. I thought you hated big groups.â
Loki never thought Thor had been clueless, if anything he thought it had been him who rejected him, it never occurred to him it was the rest that orchestrated Lokiâs exclusion. It made sense in retrospect, they were more Thorâs friends, not Lokiâs.
âI enjoy time to myself,â Loki agreed. âBut Iâve never been against big events. I always thought it was you who didnât want me near your friendsâŠâ
âOf course not, brotherâŠâ
âDonât feel bad, Lokiâ Yelena said in a tone that eased the mood. âNat used to have sleepover with friends and ban me from her room the whole night. But weâre sisters, adopted or not.â
âI said I was sorry, and I was 11 you resentful crybaby!â Natasha argued with a laugh.
You noticed that had hit a sensitive spot-on Loki and went to sit behind Loki to give him a hug from behind. And it was unexpectedly comforting, he sighed as you kissed his cheek. Growing more and more used to your doting affection, you were also rather good to read his mood by now.
It just made him feel more guilty, so he tried changing the subject.
âYou poof around when tickled, hm?â Loki chuckled. âNoted.â
âNot just when Iâm tickled, when I get worked up by almost anythingâŠâ you explained. âI canât always control it.â
âI see⊠so, I get you all worked upâŠâ Loki flirted, making you jolt and squeak with a red face. âHeh⊠Iâm flattered.â
âWhat about you?â you asked when you calmed down, resting your chin on his shoulder. âDoes something like that happen to you?â
âMmm⊠my magic is also very tied to my feelings is mostly surges of magic when Iâm pissed off.â Loki shrugged. âIn a way, the source of my magic abilities come from my control of how I feel. Which is why Thor could never learn sorcery⊠he couldnât ever keep calm and focus enough.â
It felt a bit of a cheap answer, his guilt told him you were always vulnerable with him. There was another thingâŠ
Alright, now that no one was paying attention to you two.
âWhen I was little, I used to have a lot of nightmares, and my mother stayed with me and taught me this spell⊠it allows you to invite someone else to your dreams, to put it simply. She taught me that spell to help me with the bad dreams⊠And sometimes I still cast it involuntarily while I sleep. Itâs⊠whatâs the word? Automatic, at this point.â
âYou havenât used it since we metâ you pointed out.
âThereâs these preventing thatâ Loki wiggled the magic cuffs on his wrists, and you shrank sheepishly. âMaybe one day Iâll have you sleep visiting⊠who knowsâŠâ
You smiled too eagerly at the idea⊠it was painful to see the adoration in your eyes.
The next night you were chatting happily, you laid on the floor with your feet hanging on Lokiâs bed. Surprisingly he didnât mind too much, he found himself much more engaged on the conversation. He simply rested his hand on your shin, caressing it with his thumb.
But at some point during the chat his hand brushed by your ankle, something that shouldâve caught his attention way sooner. A location tracker like his. He brushed his fingers along the band, and you jolted, quickly making a bad excuse before rushing out. A terrible liar dating the god of lies. How ironic.
âI didnât know⊠I thought I was the only one with one of theseâŠâ Loki pointed to his tracker.
âAll mutants and non-SHIELD affiliated have oneâ Tony explained with a yawn. âBasically, if you have superpowers, you have two options, be an agent or an avenger.â
âOr locked upâ Loki concluded, and the way no one answered, confirming his suspicion.
âYouâre gonna be joining us, right, brother?â Thor smiled.
âDo I have a choice?â
Loki chuckled, he had been thinking about this prior to this information, the fear of actually losing his brother when Thor was ready to leave him forever in Sakaar had been too great.
But what about you? You didnât strike him the superhero style, a were a fragile and sensitive little thing, and he couldnât picture you in the battlefield, but being a soldier was clearly taking a huge toll on you. You seemed perpetually exhausted living like this.
âHas my darling decided yet?â Loki asked, he didnât plan on the pet names, but it felt weirdly natural as it rolled off his tongue. It felt right.
âNot before meeting you, we had tried, but Iâd say with you two together⊠things have changed for the better.â Steve assured him. âItâs a relief though, you two would be great assets in the future, and the life at the compound is bit freer and more independent.â
For some reason, Loki smiled at the sound of that.
âItâs gonna be for the bestâ Bruce smiled. âFury can be quite severe, and the soldier life isnât for everyoneâŠâ
Loki couldnât see you long term here, youâd be overworking yourself for a lifestyle too demanding and that you didnât even like. It would be for the best to be an Avenger⊠at least thatâd give you some more freedom.
By then, the mood had died down and everyone went to bed, turning off the lights way before you arrived. A few more minutes passed⊠and nothing. Loki considered going to find you when you opened the door, guiding your way with your phoneâs flashlight. You had a messy damp ponytail, and baggy pajamas. You arrived and sat by Lokiâs bed and immediately collapsed right beside him, invading his bed. He was ready to climb and use yours when you he felt a tug on his shirt.
âLet me stay with youâŠâ you mumbled with your eyes closed, it seemed you still had some consciousness.
Loki nodded and laid down beside you, wrapping his arm over you, and tucking you under the bedsheets. He had to keep appearances. Yeah⊠Of course.
He studied you for a while. Your hair was soft, and it smelled like wild berries, shampoo he had started using as well because it smelled so nice. Your skin was soft and smooth, it was addictive to trace his fingers along your body. He traced circles along your side.
âNooo⊠thahahat ticklesâŠâ you giggled and shifted in your half-asleep state, making something stir within Loki. âYou can tickle me all you want in the morning, okay babyâŠ?â
âOhoho! Is that so?â Loki chuckled. âThatâs dangerous thing to offer to the God of Mischief donât you think?â
ââs okay⊠I trust youâŠâ you yawned snuggling against his chest.
âY-You doâŠ?â
âYouâd never do anything to hurt meâŠâ you assured him, even with your brain fighting with all itâs might to not succumb to exhaustion.
Once his eyes adapted to the darkness, he stared at your face. Your features were gentle, with a pureness that only a heart that hadnât been corrupted with cruelness and malice would have. It made him feel weak.
âI love youâ you mumbled, kissing his lips before finally falling asleep with the most peaceful smile he had ever seen on anyone that was this close to him.
âI⊠I love you tooâŠâ he whispered and kissed the top of your head.
Now Loki genuinely wanted to stab himself through the chest, he deserved nothing less.
The next morning was the last time heâd be in the Helicarrier for a long time if he could help it. Both of you got the trackers removed and he was officially free. The magic cuffs were taken off of Loki and he immediately summoned a huge illusion that had a radius of a few kilometers as he stretched and showed off.
A huge double rainbow, oh how he had missed using his magic like this. He noticed your eyes sparkling in admiration.
Thor helped him unpack and you two were assigned neighbor bedrooms so the lovey dovey couple could stay close. You seemed ecstatic, you set your room and invited him to see it.
It was very much what he expected from you. Cozy and cute, just being inside made him want to lay down on your bed and sleep. And of course you had a pile of stuffed animals. He laid back on your bed, sinking in the mattress and fluffy covers.
Adorable.
âHoney bunny, Iâm gonna go to the city alone today⊠donât follow meâ you warned him and proofed away before reappearing for a second. âAnd donât snoop around my stuff! Love ya!â
And you disappeared in a gust of silvery white mist. Loki napped on your bed for a while, but⊠he couldnât resist, he was curious by nature. He walked by your desk and saw the mirror of had a bunch of photos of him stuck to the board, he wasnât smiling in any of them, and most had been taken him by surprise. Loki wouldâve thought it weird, but the two of you were dating. And you only did what was normal for someone in a relationship. He smiled softly at how purely infatuated you were.
âLoki!â you called for him, so you had returned. He went to find you.
You had smiled so brightly as you jumped to his arms and showered his face in loving smooches.
âI missed you!â you smiled between kisses.
âYou just left an hour or soâŠâ he chuckled.
âItâs still too much time away from you!â you snuggled with him. âI missed this pretty face.â
âHehâŠâ he chuckled.
âI bought us something.â You smiled and handed him a golden bracelet with a round item on the middle. You kept the silver one. âItâs a distance touch bracelet.â
You touched your bracelet, and he felt his buzzing. Oh. He knew this couldnât have been cheap. And you still didnât hesitate to get it for him.
âNow you can feel me close, even if I vanish, or if we canât be with each other.â You giggled.
His heart fluttered. How could there be someone so overly sweet? To him, of all people.
âThank youâŠâ he smiled.
Days passed and Lokiâs sanity was evaporating in thin air. Guilt was eating him alive.
You were in truly, madly, and hopelessly in love with him. You wanted nothing but the best for him and you always showered him with love, affection and the sweetest kisses he had ever tasted. And worst of it all, he was falling in love with you. He deserved no love from you, but he had it⊠And it filled his heart with a warmth he didnât deserve. Oh, you poor lovely thing, if you only knew how cruel his intentions had been to start your relationship.
He did what you wanted now, trying to make up for it. He didnât want you to feel like you did all the job in a relationship anymore. Soon the photos were more couple y, of kisses and hugs, Loki took photos of you more as well. He invited you to read and nap with him.
He tickled you lots, and making you giggle in his arms as he held you close. He hugged you tight, trying to squeeze in all the love he had develop for the kind soul that had been nothing but sweet to him. In a wordless pray for your forgiveness.
He did everything that occurred to him would make you happy.
âNo way! Youâre ticklish?!â you gasped with an ear-to-ear grin.
âTerribly so, I canât stand being ticked in between my ribsâ he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, with you sitting on his lap. âMy magic acts up on its own if I get overwhelmed, like you.â
âReally?â you giggled and caressed his sides. âCan I try?â
âFor a kissâŠâ he smiled and puckered his lips for a smooch, which you complied with a huge grin. âI adore you⊠Fine, you got one minute to tickle my ribs.â
âJust one minute?â you whined with that lovely smile of yours.
âThirty seconds?â he smiled.
âEh?!â you whined. âOne minute!â
âSee how convincing I am?â he grinned.
âOh, youââ you said and turned around to start poking and prodding his ribs, Loki couldnât help but burst out laughing.
âAck! Hehehehe!â he whined, you were too good at this, he was laughing his heart out. âS-Stohohohop! Hehehehe! I-Itâs been a minute! Hahaha! S-Stop!â
âIâm not done with you, you pretty tease!â you giggled and kept prodding between his ribs.
âOh yeheheah?!â he laughed and skittered his fingers along your belly.
You were squealing and giggling in the blink of an eye. But you didnât stop tickling him.
âHehehehe! Hic! G-Give up!â you giggled and squirmed as you prodded his sides.
âYou give up! Hahahahaha!â he giggled squeezed your tummy and skittered his fingers along your armpits.
âAck! Noohohohoho!â you whine and squeezed above his kneecaps, making him jump and ergo you fell off his lap and onto the couch.
âYouâre in troubleâŠâ he grinned and his fingers, poked, drilled, kneaded and scratch over every sensitive spot on your body, and it didnât matter if you gave up. He didnât stop until you were breathless.
Only then he stopped and held you in his arms.
âRemind me to not tickle you again, youâre sadisticâ you smiled.
âYou know it, darlingâŠâ he smiled and kissed the top of your head. âDid you have fun?â
âMhmâŠâ you smiled and leaned against him. âI love you.â
You were beyond ecstatic. You melted under all of his affection and more time he spent with you, the more he couldnât deny his feelings for you.
He did it everything he could to make you happy. But nothing he did alleviated his guilt. He could only imagine the amount of heartache you would feel if you found out he had only used you to try looking better adjusted and be free, and that he had pretended to fall in love.
He couldnât eat, he couldnât sleep. He was going insane. He walked around the compound like a ghost during the night. He did a stop to throw up in the toilet.
âYouâre awake,â you surprised him despite your gentle tone. âIs something bothering you?â
âN-No, love. I just wasnât feeling very tired.â He assured you. âDonât worry. Go back to sleep.â
You placed your hands on his hips and leaned closer to him the way you did whenever you were going to kiss him. But you took a little sniffâprobably smelling his bad breathâyou stopped and smiled at him with kindness.
âMmm⊠Insomnia, hm?â you smiled and pulled him to the kitchen. âI know just the cure.â
You heated up water and prepared him a tea with honey. The warmth of the drink ran through him as the sweet drink got rid of the bad taste, and he sighed a tear streaming down his face.
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked, cupping his face.
âIâve done so many awful things⊠AndâŠâ he spoke softly. âI donât know how to fix them⊠I donât deserve any forgivenessâŠâ
âOh LokiâŠâ you hugged him. âNo one blames you⊠you didnât mean it⊠Iâve seen your pretty heart, and you deserve all the love in the world⊠Gosh, if I could take all the pain, youâre feeling for myself, I would.â
âPlease donât say thatâŠâ he begged. He couldnât handle anymore guilt, but he didnât know how to tell you the truth.
You gently guided him to your bedroom and tucked him in your bed, wrapping your arms around him in a protective way.
âForgive me love... Please forgive meâŠâ he begged between mutters. âI take it all back⊠please⊠Please donât hate me⊠pleaseâŠâ
âShhâŠâ you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. âItâs all gonna be okay⊠Iâm always gonna be here for you.â
              Between the warm tea, his exhaustion, the previous sleepless nights, your comfortable bed, and your loving touch⊠his body gave up on him and he fell asleep.
Everything was dark, and cold, covered in ice and a cruel wind. Loki had a good tolerance to cold, but he was freezing.
âMonsterâŠâ a voice echoed so loudly it made Lokiâs ears ring. It was his own voice and it came from everywhere around him.
âTraitorous ratâŠâ
âMurdererâŠâ
âBeastâŠâ
âLiarâŠâ
âFrost giantâŠâ
âMonsterâŠâ
âManipulatorâŠâ
âLiarâŠâ
âWe finally had someoneâs trustâŠâ
âOf course, you just play around with others!â
Loki was completely surrounded by copies of himself, all at least twice his size, blue skin, Jotun attire, and eyes red like blood. True frost giants.
Loki simply took every blow and insult. He deserved them.
âLokiâŠ?â a different voice called. âIs this what you meant by inviting someone to your dreams?â
No please⊠you couldnât be here.
âDarling⊠wake up⊠please donât be hereâŠâ Loki begged you. âPleaseâŠâ
âIâm not leaving you here on your ownâŠâ you spoke and kneeled beside him.
Loki felt his body change, every muscle vanished leaving him as practically skin and bones. Small. Weak.
âLoki⊠whatâs going on?! Whatâs happening to you?!â
Loki tried to shapeshift back to his natural look, but he had no control of his own body. At this point in life, he should be desensitized to nightmares where his magic didnât obey him⊠butâŠ
âPlease⊠leave me hereâŠâ he spoke as he could, but he could barely hear himself.
âDonât say that... Whatâs⊠what can I do for you?â
There was something about dreams, and especially Lokiâs dreams, that always seemed to be extra dramatic. It must have been so confusing to be in one as an outsider.
Lokiâs body changed again, he grew twice his usual size, and his body was blue and muscled. Exactly the body of a Jotun.
âSTOP BEING SO GOOD TO ME! CANâT YOU SEE I DONâT LOVE YOU?!â
âWhat?!â
What?! No! That wasnât trueâŠ
Loki tried to take it back, but he was in autopilot. He was in the passenger seat of his own mind.
âI DONâT LOVE YOU! ARE YOU THAT GULLIBE TO THINK IâD FALL IN LOVE WITH A MORTAL?! I HAVE BEEN USING YOU!â
âNo⊠no, you're not⊠You wouldnâtâŠâ
âI JUST NEEDED A COVER, TO SEEM WELL ADJUSTED ENOUGH TO NOT BE A PRISONER! AND YOU WERE ANNOYING ENOUGH TO BARGE IN DEFENSE OF ME! IâV BEEN PLAYING WITH YOU FROM DAY ONE! DONâT YOU SEE YOU ARE JUST A TOY?! YOUâRE PATHETIC!â
The look on your face was heartbreaking. You looked crushed.
âI HAVE BEEN THINKING OF A WAY TO GET RID OF YOU! I CANâT SLEEP AND I WANT TO THROW UP THINKING I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU YET ANOTHER DAY!â
You curled up on the floor and Loki lifted you but your collarâs shirt.
âGET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD! I COULD NEVER LOVE A MORTAL AS UNNERVING AS YOU!â Loki screamed at you before slamming you against the floor.
âNO!â Loki sat up with a gasp and his body drenched in sweat. He looked around and saw you curled up on the bed, your back facing him. âLove?! Thank goodness⊠Iâm soâ Love, w-whatâs wrongâŠ?â
You were stiff and you had a hand on the back of your head. Loki shifted and stretched a bit and saw your face. Your eyes were full of tears, yet he had never seen you with such a cold expression in your face.
âMy love⊠and whatâs wrong?â Loki placed a hand over your arm, and you slapped it.
âWhy did you say that?â you asked him.
âI d-donât know⊠I wasnât⊠I didnâtâŠâ Loki stuttered. âMy dreams are like thatâŠâ
âNo. I mean, what you said was really specific. WhyâŠ?â
âI donâtâI donât know why Iââ
âTell me the truth, Loki.â You ordered him. âDid you, or did you not pretend to love me for your freedom?â
Loki stayed quiet. He didnât have the courage to tell you the truth, but he didnât have the heart to keep lying to you. With that confirmation tears started falling down your cheeks again.
âY-Yes but Iâthat was beforeâŠâ
âGet outâŠâ you spoke.
âWhat? No, darling, listen⊠IâŠâ
âI donât want to hear you.â
âPlease love⊠let me explainâŠâ he tried holding you.
That made you snap. You started hitting him, being a human it was impossible for you to harm him, but not once in his life had he felt more pain.
âDONâT TOUCH ME! DONâT TALK TO ME!â
âDarling pleaseâŠâ
âI DONâT WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN! GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!â
He had no strength to fight you, he was defenseless as you kicked him out of your room, slamming the door on his face.
There were a few faces popping out of their door to try seeing what had happened and that quickly retreated back to their rooms. Loki had no choice but to go inside of his own bedroom.
The next morning, he nearly tripped on his way out with a box by is door. It was full of books, quills, a coat, photos of you together. And⊠the silver bracelet that matched his own. It tore his heart to shreds. He didnât feel as guilty anymore. But remorse and the memory of how brokenhearted you looked was even more sadistic. He heard you crying often from across the wall.
A few days later the others started giving him dirty looks. Knowing you and considering that this didnât happen right away he assumed they had found out after heavy interrogation and now everyone knew he had used you. Even Thor seemed upset, not angry, but he had this⊠disappointment in his eyes.
âI hate dealing with moving companiesâ Tony sighed as they all sat for dinner. âBut Fury wants to have our little Houdini enlisted by the end of the week. Itâs a shame⊠The kiddos enjoyed being around each other.â
âTell me about itâ Clint sighed. âKate is devastated.â
âSpeaking of devastatedâŠâ Natasha said as she stood up, and Loki wouldâve sworn she was shooting daggers at him with that glare. âSee if I can be more convincing about eating something, otherwise Fury will have a corpse enlisting.â
You were moving out? To become a SHIELD agent? But you hated being a soldier. Had he hurt you so bad that you preferred that lifestyle and ruin your life forever⊠than being around him?
This all felt awfully familiar. Loki excused himself and went to his room and lock himself inside. He closed his eyes, and part of him wished that theyâd never open again.
âAm I cursed?â Loki asked, choked up by the last bit of hope.
âNo.â Odin responded the worst thing he could've said him. A curse would've been better.
Loki placed the casket down, weakly, it suddenly felt like a very... very heavy thing to carry. And the weight stayed there, right on his chest even after the casket had been placed back at the pedestal.
âThen what am I?â Loki asked softly, afraid of the answer.
âYou're my son.â Odin answered, and Loki doubted his own magic since he couldn't detect dishonesty in his father's words.
Clearly that was a lie. So why didnât his magic detect that? Loki felt rage spiral out of control like a boiling pot.
âWhat more than that?â Loki growled, still trying to keep his composure as he walked towards his father that was by the stairs at the other side of the corridor. âThe Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?â
Odin looked him in the eye. Unable to deny it any longer. It had been to many years with that secret. As Loki walked closer, Odin just started at him in silence as Loki reached the stairs.
âNo.â Odin finally said. âIn the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspringâ abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son.â
That felt like a dagger piercing the young princeâs heart. Out of all the things he was insecure about, it turned out he WAS an outsider. Out of all the things he couldâve been, he HAD to be a Jotun, a monster. Out of all the Jotunâs in existence, he was the son of the worst of them all. And out of all the reasons he couldâve been adopted for, was because even his own biological family didnât want him⊠and his adopted family never told him any of this.
âLaufey's son...?â Loki finally managed to gasp out, he was choking up on his own tears. âWhy? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?â
âYou were an innocent child.â Odin said, sounding more exhausted by the second.
âNo!â Loki begged his father, knowing that Odin was a strategic warrior. There was always a meaning behind his actions. âYou took me for a purpose, what was it?â
But Odin didnât answer. The physical toll of delaying his Odin sleep to prepare Thor to rule, preventing a war, the emotional toll of having to banish Thor and now⊠having his youngest child doubt his love for him because of his foolish decision of not telling him the truth earlier were overwhelming him.
The All-King saw with pain how the little child that once smiled at him with love when he picked him in his arms after the battle now saw him with fear, pain, and resentment.
âTELL ME!â Loki demanded loudly, no longer capable of remaining calm.
âI thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you.â Odin confessed.
That was the final blow to Lokiâs poor heart.
âWhatâŠ?â
A tool. All he had been adopted for was as an instrument of peace between Asgard and a race that everyone saw as blood-thirsty monsters.
âBut those plans no longer matter.â Odin clarified.
âSo, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up⊠here, until you might have use of me.â Loki inquired in pain.
âWhy do you twist my words?â Odin asked softly.
âYou could have told me what I was from the beginning.â Loki urged, desperate to makes sense of what easily was the worst day of his life. âWhy didn't you?!â
âYou are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.â Odin said softly, in a fruitless attempt to calm his poor childâs heart.
âWhâ B-Because I-I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?!â Loki asked, flooded by all the scary stories about the frost giants growing up. All those times he and Thor played heroes as kids fighting those monsters.
âDon't...â Odin begged as his strength slowly abandoned him.
But Loki couldnât listen anymore. The grief was too great, and the feeling of betrayal didnât allow him to trust Odin anymore.
âIt all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years.â Loki yelled as he started walking up the stairs to yell at Odin as the All-Father slowly lost his strength and started passing out on the stairs. âBecause no matter how much you claim to âloveâ me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!â
Odin kept trying until his last second of consciousness to beg his son for help, forgiveness⊠anything. But he had been too weakened to dedicate his young boy some kind of love or reassurance as he fell prey to the Odin sleep, he had delaying for so long.
Now Loki encountered a similar dilemma. He had been stupid, dishonest, and selfish to someone who offered him nothing but unconditional love. He betrayed your trust and there was no way now that Loki could prove that despite his original intentions his love wasnât any less real.
He laid down on his bed, with his arm draped dramatically over his eyes.
âTroubled, my son?â a voice spoke making Loki sit up.
âFatherâ Loki smiled softly. âI ruined it. I had the most beautiful love in my life⊠and I was stupid and lost it because of my own selfishness.â
âThat sounds familiarâ Odin chuckled. âYou truly are my son, after all.â
âYou had always been will always be my fatherâŠâ Loki said the words he had denied for several years. âI never understand your reasons. Cruel as they wereâŠâ
âNot holding back against your old father, hm?â Odin laughed.
âSorryâŠâ Loki smiled softly.
âMy original reasons were foolish, selfish, and even cruel as you rightfully⊠but I always hoped to do what would be best for the 9 Realmsâ he spoke. âBut that didnât mean the love I had for you wasnât any less real. You are my son, regardless of the kind of blood that coursed through your veins.â
Loki smiled softly; it was weird. He knew Odin would have never say all that. But now, after growing up so much, he understood it wasnât because he didnât feel it, he had always been too proud and formal, too much of a king. And while imperfect, it was still his father.
âThatâs why you never caught me lying when I called you my son or said that I loved you.â Odin spoke. âIn my heart, youâve always been my son.â
âI know, fatherâ Loki smiled. âIâm sorry it took me so long to understand it.â
âIâm sorry I never told you before⊠I feared you wouldnât take it wellâŠâ
âMe? I would neverâ Loki joked softly.
âWe always loved you as our ownâ a female voice added making Loki turned around.
âMother.â Loki spoke breathless. âI know⊠I know⊠I knew, I was just too scared I couldâve been wrong, and you didnâtâŠâ
âYou were too much of a charming kid not to love youâ Frigga said compassionately. âYour little human surely thinks so too.â
Ah⊠that⊠Loki wasnât so sure.
âI ruined it, I deserve nothing but the hatred and disgust Iâve earned from my darling.â Loki huffed out. âI manipulated, lied, and destroyed the trust of my love.â
âDear, thereâs nothing final in these mattersâŠâ Frigga smiled softly. âIf that loved blossomed once, you may rescue it and nourish it again. But first⊠you need to apologize.â
âI donât think Iâm wanted anywhere near hearing range.â Loki explained.
âDo you think the love between your mother, and I always had a perfect relationship?â Odin smiled.
âYour father was too temperamental for thatâ Frigga intervened with a smile and both parents looked at each other with love. âBut when you truly love someone and you make a mistake, you swallow your pride and make up for your wrongdoings.â
Loki smiled softly, he remembered it well. When Odinâs temper got the best of him because of the stress of being a king, Odin made sure to make up for Frigga know how truly sorry he was, and Frigga who already knew her husbandâs temper was an expert on not letting her affect her, knowing it was never personal. She had truly been blessed with infinite patience given she dealt with three men with bad tempers and yet her kindness and loving nature knew no end. It was not rare to see Odin gifting Frigga fancy gifts and spend long hours apologizing and dedicating the day to her. It wasnât the perfect arrangement, but no relationship was.
Loki chuckled softly.
âThanksâŠâ he smiled and both parents tended a hand to him with a smile. âI know what I have to do.â
Ready to say goodbye, Loki placed his hands on top of Odin and Friggaâs, and with that, the figure of his parents faded under a green light as Lokiâs palms stopped glowing. Loki let out a little laugh as he wiped his tears.
His illusions had never been so benevolent towards himself, they were either torturous or for a fake sense of gloating and dissociation. But your compassion had changed him forever. He could use them for closure and to guide him with the stuff he knew but needed to hear. And⊠you deserved that at least.
He got up and went outside and went to a trip. It took him around an hour to get to the city and a couple more hours to get his several stops get several gifts. A lovely white bouquet of flowers, a box of your favorite chocolates, a necklace with a cute silver heart shaped locket and got it printed with a small photo, a copy of a photo he had carried from one of your first âdatesâ you got where you were giving him a small kiss in the cheek and cupped the other one, a symbol of your shared love.
On his way back, Loki held the original photo close to his chest and sighed. He prayed this would work as he was on his way to see you. He knocked on your door and hid his gifts behind himself, not even remembering he couldâve concealed them with his magic from how nervous he was.
His chest tightened as you opened the door, your eyes and nose were red, and your cheeks were stained with tears. Oh Norns⊠He had hurt you really bad.
âLove⊠Please⊠let me explainâ Loki spoke softly.
âWhat do you need to explain, Loki?â you asked and sniffled, practically murdering him when you called him Loki instead of one of your lovely cheesy pet names. âThat I was just a toy for you to play with and pretend that you loved me, so youâd be a free man? I got that quite clearly.â
You were ready to slam the door on his face, but he reached his leg to stop you. He nearly dropped one of your gifts. You looked at him confused, eying him up and down before sighing in defeat, opening the door he walked inside of your little room. He saw the little night table covered with used tissues and the bedâs decorative cushions were all over the place. It broke his heart.
âWhat do you want, Loki?â you asked tiredly as you sat on the bed, placing a cushion on your lap and against your chest.
âMy darling, I was the biggest, most cruel and inconsiderate imbecile of all 9 Realmsâ he said, kneeling before you as he handed you the bouquet of flowers. You gently placed the flowers on your lap, still looking at him.
âIt is true, that I was looking to just find a relationship to pretend I had adapted to living on earthâ he spoke. âIt was a selfish, shallow, and dishonest reason to make you mine⊠But I did it. It was heartless and thereâs no excuse or reason for you to forgive that. But I beg of you to stay here⊠never speak to me again if you need, but donât settle to a life of misery just to avoid me. I will happily accept being locked up in a dungeon for a hundred years, so you donât see the likes of me againâŠâ
He handed you the chocolate, and your gaze softened for a second as you saw the chocolate, he remembered which ones you liked the most. You opened your mouth to speak, but a gentle squeeze to your hands let you know Loki still wanted to speak.
He had caused all of this for not telling you the truth, and now he wanted to fully bare his soul to you now.
âYou offered me boundless kindness, patience despite my flaws, understanding to my pain and sins of the past, laughter like I hadnât enjoyed before, you fed with the most delicious and warm foods I had ever eaten, you showed me the concept of dates and you bared me completely vulnerable to your touch and heart and you bared yourself completely to me without fear of meâŠâ Loki continued, as tears streamed down his face, drowning in regret. âAnd all I did was play with you and betray the trust your selfless heart gave me without asking for anything in return.â
He placed his forehead on your knees and sobbed, completely ashamed of what he had done to you. He didnât deserve your forgiveness, but he felt like heâd die without you. And heâ deserve it.
âI donât careâ you finally spoke, and he looked up, he saw the tears streaming down your face. âYouâre the God of Mischief and Lies, there are countless stories of how you lied and manipulated to get away with anything you wanted⊠I shouldâve expected Iâd be just that.â
âNoâ No, darling!â Loki held your hands and pressed his lips against your knuckles. âNo, my sweet, youâ I was selfish. I wanted a cover up, yes, but what I found was love, I found the butterflies in my stomach you always speak of. I found the warm of your hands lingering on my skin after our dates. I found myself awake during the night sighing over those lovely eyes Iâve now so cruelly filled with tearsâŠâ Loki spoke softly.
You were shaking in your place as you did your best not to cry and interrupt him. He brushed his finger along your cheek as in appreciation of your effort.
âNone of what you heard that night was true in my heartâŠâ he assured you âI never felt so disgusted I wanted to vomit; it was guilt that was killing me from the inside⊠knowing I was hurting such a beautiful flower.â
He handed you the heart locket and you opened it, seeing the photo made you sob as silently as you could.
âI was selfish and a liar. I donât blame you if you donât believe me and want nothing to do with me again. But please know that my heart beats for and because of you only.â He spoke. âI fell hopelessly and irredeemably in love with you. I swear that on my life.â
You looked at him and smiled, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and sobbed now freely and unrestrained. Time seemed to stop for Loki as he hugged you back, taking in your scent and caressing you. Tears fell down his face and he held you, afraid youâd disappear if he let go of you.
You forgave him. He didnât think heâd ever be so lucky to find a kind soul that would forgive even his worst mistake. But he found it, you were kind enough to do so. Your wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug and Loki was able to let all the pain and guilt go⊠He couldnât undo his mistakes, but he could be better, and he wanted to be his best self for you.
âThank you⊠Norns, Iâm sorry⊠Iâm so sorryâŠâ he repeated over and over between whispers and tears as he held you tight.
You sat up straight and cupped his face and laughed softly as you still cried happy tears.
âYouâre gonna have to buy me a new box of tissues, you boogerâ you joked softly with a sniffle, and pressed your forehead to his and grabbed a tissue to blow your nose.
âIâll give you the entire world if you so desire, my loveâ he spoke with a gentle smile. âJust say the word.â
âI donât need the worldâ you smiled and kissed his cheek. âI have everything I need right here.â
âWhat did I do to deserve you?â he chuckled softly as he grabbed a tissue to wipe his tears and blow his nose. âIâm a disaster and somehow I still found the most precious little dove all for myself.â
You held him tightly in a hug⊠in silence for a few minutes before you spoke again.
âDid you think I was annoying when we first met?â you asked with a stern look on your face. âI want the truth.â
âTruthfully⊠you were a nightmareâŠâ Loki admitted in a soft playful tone.
âHEY!â you whined and dug your fingers into the crevices of his ribs making him burst out laughing. âI said honest, not mean!â
âEhehehe! Lohohohohove, let me finish!â he giggled, letting you have this, it was the least he could do. âP-Please, s-stohohohop that! Not there!â
You smiled and went to tickle his belly. Oh, you had really not liked that.
âPlehehehehehease, dahahaharling! I surrender!â he laughed and did his best to not squirm.
âFine⊠what is it?â you asked, as you sat sideways on his lap, already happily cuddling with him.
Thank whatever superior force that was out there⊠Oh, youâre a wonderful blessing.
âYouâre a nightmare turned into a dreamâ he clarified and he didnât even bother fighting the urge to squeeze you tightly.
âYou have 3 seconds to explain how thatâs a compliment o Iâll tickle you until you puncture a lung.â
âIhihiâ I mean like, when you start having a bad dream⊠but it turns around as the most wonderful of dreams, those that you still think about after waking up.â Loki said, and as those words he was sure he had fried his brain because he didnât make any sense.
But that was enough for you.
âYouâre lucky youâre cute.â You grumbled.
âCâmon⊠donât be mad at me for being foolish and wrongâ he smiled as he squeezed you tight. âSurely you thought I was insufferable at first as well, weâre so different after all.â
You smiled and shook your head.
âI love my pretty princeâ you smiled and picked a tissue yourself to clean your face. âFlaws, differences, and all.â
âDo you, now?â he grinned cheekily. âI sure am a lucky one to be called yours.â
âA Loki oneâ you giggled, and Loki made a scowl of disgust. âSorry! I thought it too late when I said it andâ hehehe!â
âOh, that was awfulâ Câmere⊠you!â
âW-What?! NO! NOHOHOHOHO! LOHOHOHOKI, STOP IHIHIHIT!â
As he made you laugh and held you against him, he couldnât doubt how fortunate he was to be so undoubtedly yours.
| MASTERPOST |
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Utterly Infuriating
â Pairing: Loki x Reader
â Synopsis: Loki is very bad with people, so meeting anyone new just means a new enemy, and you didn't seem to be the exception. And the way you start getting along seems to indicate so. But... perhaps that's not entirely true.
â Word Count: 8,607
â Notes: Playful tickles, (a probably very bad) enemies to lovers. @blehblahsworld requested an enemies to lovers and secret dating Loki x Reader, I hope it's more or less what you hoped for.
â Warnings: Heavily headcanonned (is that a word?) Loki. This is my first (and probably only) enemies to lovers, the beginning isn't very good because of that, other than that it's a lot of playfulness and tickles. Lots of flashbacks to what I imagine Loki's childhood would be, I just have a weird obsession of writing nostaglic!Loki stuff, I am so sorry.
Who would have thought that Loki would end up becoming part of the group he had tried to take down in the first place? It was laughable, really. People he thought just a thorn in his side were now his first genuine group of friends.
But here he was.
He learned to find humor in Stark and Bartonâs sarcastic quips. He got along with Banner, who he found comfortably quiet to read books or drink tea with. He learned to fear and admire Romanoffâs skill and cold mind under pressure, but also adored challenging himself to try tricking her (he wasnât successful for the most part). He came to admire Rogerâs leadership and strong values, and of course reconnecting with his brother was something heâd never admit how much it meant to him. And he learned how much forgiveness and that sense of belonging fulfilled him.
He was a bit surprised that in 10 years the group had grown at least 4 or even 5 times its size. They had gone from 6 heroes to 30 something, with half of them being permanent residents on the Headquarters while the rest came and went.
Thatâs where he met you. Gods, he didnât know how there could be someone so insufferable. You were worse than Thor.
You were bright and bubbly, always wore your heart on your sleeve, contrary to him who who always hid his feelings. Loki was a charmer, deliciously cynical and the life of the party if he chose to join, you on the other side where a bit shyer and not the greatest fan of crowded rooms unless it was full of friends; it quite reminded him of the anxiousness he felt as a prince in Asgard, always worried about being seen making a mistake, he was sure you felt exactly that kind of stress.
Seen that way, you and Loki were like day and night. It was no wonder you and Loki hated each other at first side.
âBrother! Come quick!â Thor called. âThereâs someone Iâd like you to meet!â
Loki sighed and left his book on the little coffee table and got up, Thorâs voice came all the way from the kitchen (loud as always) so he took a bit to reach the kitchen, and as he got closer to the room he noticed laughter and sweet scent filled the air.
It was Thorâs familiar boisterous laughter that made the buildings shake, and a new unfamiliar laughter.
He arrived and saw a Rogers, Romanoff, Thor, Stark and⊠someone new. That new person was cooking pancakes for dinner and when he turned around⊠you were like opening the door on a cold winter night after being by the fire all day. Overwhelming for sure.
âBrother what is going onâŠ?â
You had a bright grin on your face and announced Rogers to think fast. Steve chuckled and lifted his plate and soon a pancake flew through the air, nearly hitting Loki in the head had he not ducked in time, before smacking against the plate in Rogersâ hands. Everyone cheered and laughed.
âWhat theâ?!â Loki gasped.
âWe got a new friend!â Thor claimed brightly.
âWe met at the gymâ Natasha announced. âI knew I had met a mutant when I sparred with someone who didnât hit the floor in the first 3 seconds.â
You smiled timidly and walked to the fridge, lowered and with a single hand and a loud creek, the fridge was lifted effortlessly from the floor.
âOh.â Loki said uninterested. âCan I go back to my book?â
âI thought I could make dinner as a thank you for being so welcomingâ you smiled politely.
âWelcoming?â Loki asked, tilting his head.
âIâm moving hereâ you grinned brightly.
You know how people sometime tense up when they try to hide their excitement? Well, Loki tense up for the exact opposite reason.
âRemember that empty room beside yours?â Tony smiled brightly. âItâs not gonna be empty anymore.â
Even better.
âWhat do you like in your pancakes? Chocolate? Nuts? Berries?â you smiled warmly.
âUh⊠nuts and berries?â Loki said.
The dinner was delicious, he could give you that. But the second he finished he excused himself wanting to go to bed early. He went to pick up his book before going to his bedroom.
âAh, brother. There you are.â Thor smiled, already in his pajamas, white and blue stripped pants, a white t-shirt with a stamp of Mjolnir with a cutesy face. âI wanted to talk to you. About our new friend? What do you think? Friendly, right?â
âAwfullyâ Loki rolled his eyes, âI didnât think Iâd met someone as loud as you. I already have a headache. I know for sure life here has just become infinitely more aggravatingâŠâ
âBrother⊠donât be like thatâŠâ Thor said sadly. Loki simply sighed and went inside his room.
Next morning he saw you again for breakfast. Everyone had their own schedule so to eat there was only Wanda, Loki, Bucky, and you. You helped to make breakfast and you ate quietly, finished quickly and picked up the plates of everyone to put it on the dishwasher and it started running.
âYouâre quite helpfulâŠâ Wanda smiled warmly.
âOh, itâs nothing. I wouldnât want to be aggravatingâ you smiled brightly, giving a quick glance at Lki that might as well have killed him before leaving the kitchen.
Since then Loki and you hated each other, you argued on daily basis. If Loki said red, you said blue, if he said up you said down.
It even got in the middle of missions. It was only a matter of time until your constant clashing blew up in everyoneâs faces.
It wasnât the greatest idea to send you and Loki on the same group either. But Steve thought itâd help you two get along better if you fought side by side for a mutual goal. It was a nice, but perhaps too innocent thought.
The mission was simple, as Tony called it âbad guys had hostagesâ situation. There was a bit of intel Nat and Bucky were interested in, hoping to find other settings where potentially more people could be in danger. So it had to be a smooth infiltration and until finding the civilians then it was âbreaking stuffâ time⊠Tony should not be allowed to name missions at this point. It made it difficult to take them seriously.
You had been left alone with Loki to find where the hostages were being held captive while Nat went to find the main computer to gather the information while the rest of the group started surrounding and sabotaging the headquarters to cause a diversion and given you a quick escape, plus neutralizing a threat.
Loki wanted to do things his way, as usual. But you had managed to sneak into a clothes hut and you got uniforms to pass undetected⊠Very much against Lokiâs will given he kept arguing he couldâve just casted an illusion.
âThis is absurdâ Loki scoffed as he put on a shirt gray shirt. âWeâre wasting valuable time. My illusionsââ
ââWouldâve been casted off the second someone lays a hand on usâ you reasoned, doing your best, although fruitless attempt not to sound annoyed at him. âThese guys are weirdly touchy, a hand on your shoulder and your done for.â
Loki turned around to give you a snarky comeback, only to be cut off when he saw you changing. You both had been facing opposite directions to give each other privacy, but his attitude got the best of him.
He did not expect the sight he was greeted you as he saw you dressing up.
Your body was toned thanks to the training, and it showed the overly demanding lifestyle and dieting being an Avenger required. It was weird you were muscled like one would expect, given your mutation focused on your physical strength, although he didnât really know how that worked so he just figured that was part of it. But one would easily tell you trained on a daily basis.
He was mesmerized, even smiling softly at you.
When you turned around you caught him staring and your face turned bright red and you let out a loud screech. Loki panicked and tackled you to cover your mouth.
But it was too late. A guard gave opened the door and the alarms started sounding. It was time to run if you wanted to rescue the hostages.
âWhat happened?!â Steve spoke through the comms. âThe alarms are going off!â
âWe were caught!â you called. âLokiâ!â
ââtried to save me but I blew it!â Loki cut you off.
âIt was your fault!â you snapped at him. âWe gotta rush to get the hostages!â
âWe need to get the intel we were set to do firstâŠâ Loki argued, âwe canât lose the input if the other hostage locations.â
âIâm not abandoning the hostages here, weâre getting them first!â you argued.
âWeâre not gonna do either if you guys donât focus!â Natasha argued through the communicator.
A thing of these groups that became quite cliché was there was always a bunch of guys the were big. Mutants as well. Big, tall and sturdy, almost like human walls, not very smart but insanely strong. He had an axe the size of a human.
You clashed your fist against the guardâs axe and it made you both recoil to process the soreness the impact caused on both of you. This guy clearly had a similar level of raw strength as you. So you wouldnât be winning this on your own.
You turned to ask for Lokiâs back up, but a green fog formed on the spot as Loki vanished on thin air. Not only leaving you on your own, but making the battle field a blurry mess.
âLoki?!â
âSorry, mortal.â Loki said sarcastically. âWe canât let you ruin the mission.â
âLOKI!â you yelled as you barely dodged a swing from the axe.
âTrickster, go with Romanoff to get the intel!â Tony stated as he flew above the enemy base, knocking out a couple of troupes with his missiles. âHercules, go with Cap to get the hostages! Go! Go! Go!â
The rest of the mission was a blur, the hostages barely escaped alive, and a few were harmed and had to be treated in the flight back home, and Natasha was injured when she got an ambush from the guards when she was downloading the data.
Even after missions were a nightmare for everyone around you two. The entire trip was loud and obnoxious.
âYou had to back me up when the big guy shows up! Not just vanish from the fight!â
âExcuse you, that fight wouldnât have taken place t begin with if you hadnât blown our cover!â Loki yelled at you. âYouâre lucky my mist cloak allowed us a clean exit!â
âClean exit?!â you screamed back, poking his chest. âI got a slash on my leg because I couldnât see where I was going!â
âYeah, and if you could stay still and not scream so much, Iâd patch you up easierâ Natasha said half amusedly.
âSorry NatâŠâ you apologized, your mood changing completely to warm and friendly.
Thor pulled his brother to the other end of the ship to try having some peace and quiet until they got home.
Of course, Fury was⊠well, furious.
âYou pair of moronic and irresponsible idiots!â Fury said. âItâs a fucking miracle no one is died while the two of you fought like kindergarten brats! Suspended. Both of you. 3 weeks.â
âWhat?! Director!â you whined.
âDirector nothing! Letâs see if this time alone helps you two get along better.â Fury scoffed. âDismissed.â
Loki on the other hand, didnât argue. Men with Nick Furyâs temper couldnât be reasoned with when they were this pissed. He would know, he grew up with two at home. So he just nodded and left the room when he was told to.
It would be a long lock down.
You werenât much more pleased with the decision, given that after this mission you had plans to go out to the city and now you were essentially grounded like a 5 year old. Downsides of living in the compound, every so often, if you messed up real bad youâd be âgroundedâ.
Loki too had plans ruined by this. Not the type the others had, who went to big events or dated civilians who they could stay over for a few days when they had time off. Loki didnât even have friends outside of the Avengers⊠or at all. But he had learned to enjoy going into the city and indulge in some human theater, casting an illusion to conceal his identity of course, otherwise people would panic. But he liked it, but the dramatic costumes, the theatrical              and embellished of speaking of some plays, and the occasional musical that had always a song or two stuck o his brain for a few weeks.
But now that wouldnât happen until next month. Instead he was stuck with someone he couldnât stand and that couldnât stand him back. Great.
The next day of when everyone left to live their lives out of the compound while he stayed locked in his room for as long as he could. He read, he had a little cloth ball that he threw up and caught, he used his illusions to entertain himself, and he even used his phone to try entertaining himself for as long as he could, but sooner than later he grew bored.
He wasnât the type to be able to stay still, and he got out of his room to walk around the compound, his legs already itching to get a good walk.
As he stretched his body with a nice walk and he felt his mood already boosted a little. He was by the kitchen when he heard music, and not just music, but a song he recognized.
âItâs time to try defying gravity. I think Iâll try defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye, Iâm defying gravity. And you wonât bring me downâ he heard the song he very much he liked.
As he walked by the kitchen following the song he was greeted with yet another pleasant surprise. A sweet aroma of one of his favorite treats as a kid, apple pie. He remembered being a young child in Asgard, pulling all the tricks and spells in his arsenal to steal the baked goodies from the talented Pastry chefs the palace had in its staff.
His Odin and Frigga impressions became as good as they were due to impersonating them to request for apple pies when his mother made the kitchen âLoki proofâ with her magic. He used to eat it so much that right before he turned a teen, he got quite chubby from how much and how often he ate it. At some point he resigned to his baked love in favor of losing weight and becoming a more efficient warrior⊠although every so often there would be a party and heâd be sure to get a big slice of apple pie to indulge on his guilty pleasure.
Long story short, he absolutely loved apple pie and just the smell made his mouth water and his stomach growl.
He found his feet moving on his own to the kitchen and he didnât have time to process you were the only one at home, ergo, it was you who he found in the kitchen, baking, and dancing, and singing along the music. He realized right away you hadnât realized were no longer alone. You had that lack of shame in your dance that one could only have when they were completely alone, his mind wandered to the accidental peep he got at your body during the mission. He couldnât help but laugh a bit, he hadnât seen you so relaxed and carefree, even with your bubbly and energetic nature.
Unfortunately, that soft chuckle gave away his presence.
âAck!â you screech dropping pie onto the floor, your face red like a tomato.
Loki barely reacted fast enough to cast a spell of to catch the pie inches above the ground, but sparing the baked treat and burning to the counter.
It smelled heavenly.
âMy apologies, mortalâ Loki chuckled, sounding more amused than sorry, although he didnât mock you, doubting you would be wiling to share your cooking with someone who made fun of him. âI swear I wasnât trying to scare you.â
âYou did!â you scolded him with a beet red blush along your face, Loki surprised himself finding it quite endearing. âGod dammit, is it a pastime of yours creeping up on me?!â
âI wasnât aware you liked Wicked tooâŠâ Loki mentioned, changing the subject, wanting to get on your good side. And it worked, because your expression changed, you seemed surprised.
âYou like musicals?â you said with a slight smile. âI didnât take you for someone to like human stuff.â
âWell, a misunderstood character that gets people thinking them a monster because of their skin color and decides to accept that they can only be a villain because thatâs the only think you get to be? Might as well be my autobiography.â
âDonât forget the green and black color aestheticâ you giggled, making him laugh as well. âAnd a bit snobby.â
âYeah, I suppose that too.â He smiled.
âI never thought of it like thatâ you said. âWas it that bad? Being an Elphaba?â
The way you said felt quite soft, kind. It stirred something in his chest.
âTo be perfectly fair, I found out I was a frost giant when I was 1,048 years oldâ Loki admitted. âBut at the time I felt like I was going insane. Frost giants were monsters, and in a constant state of imminent war with AsgardâŠâ
âI can imagine you felt like the enemy of everyone you lovedâ you said sympathetically. âIt must have been awfulâŠâ
âEarth was a witness to how badly it affected meâŠâ
âwait! New Mexico and New York were the collateral damage to an identity crisis and a mental breakdown from a twenty-year-old?!â you exclaimed, your chin against the counter and tugging on your hair.
Loki shrunk in his place.
âYouâre telling me it could have been solved with some therapy, a cup of tea, and probably a hug?â
Loki was a bit surprised that your response wasnât as aggressive towards him, if anything it irradiated a weird mix of anger and empathy.
âThere was also a hint of mind controlâ Loki defended himself.
âYeah right, a wizard did it.â You smiled amusedly, and weirdly enough, it made him laugh. âWe all saw that you had to touch peopleâs chests with the pointy end to make it work.â
âI mean itâ he smiled. âThe mind control from the scepter Thanos gave me came from the time stone in it, and it fueled those around him with anger and left them vulnerable to obey orders if you held onto it for long enough. Banner has pointed out he and the others felt it too. I felt so much⊠I donât know⊠rage? âŠI didnât realize what was going most of the time⊠it wasnât until I had lost that I truly realized what I had done⊠and it took even longer for me to realize the gravity of my actionsâŠâ
That seemed to convince you, and Loki felt a weird relief from you believing him. You stayed in silence for a while.
âThatâs heavyâŠâ you mumbled, not sure what else to tell him, and you offered him your hand.
He wasnât sure what made him place his hand on your and you gave him a little squeeze, before gently caressing his knuckles with a touch so sweet that made thrills go down his spine. You smiled at him.
âWell⊠You are one of us freaks nowâ you smiled softly in a way that made him feel warm and fuzzy.
He pulled his hand away and cleared his throat, feeling his face uncharacteristically hot as he looked down and to his side, just trying to avoid your gaze. You laughed and tried following where his gaze pointed towards, looking at the warm pie on the counter.
âWant some?â you offered, tilting your head to point to the pie and Lokiâs stomach grumbled, almost in an involuntary affirmation. He really shouldâve had breakfast. You laughed and cut him a big slice and Lokiâs mouth water.
He hadnât really been looking at the pie, but he sure didnât argue back if you offered him some. The taste was divine. He couldnât help a rather inappropriate sounding hum of pleasure.
âOh Norns, what did you put in this?â he asked, his mouth half full of the sweet pie. âThese tastes so different from⊠Mmm! Oh Norns!â
âAh, just the usual, flour, eggs, milk, apple marmalade, sliced apples, sugar, cinnamonâ you listed.
âCinnamon? What is this cinnamon?â he spoke happily as he ate more. âWhat kind of apples? They feel so different⊠Mmmm! This is amazing!â
Loki felt like a child again. For a moment he forgot of everything, he ate messily, a bit of marmalade falling on his shirt which never used to happen. He ate loud and let out happy moans and hums as he enjoyed the pie.
He ate so fast he didnât realize he had almost finished the huge slice until he saw you serving him another huge, warm, sweet, slice of pie. You didnât shame him, you simply giggled and smiled brightly at him.
He ate more until he was stuffed⊠Which happened only once he had finish most of the pie. If anything, what he didnât eat could be barely called a slice. He felt a bit ashamed from his lack of self control, he hadnât behaved like this since he was a child. He even let out a small airy burp.
âExcuse meâŠâ he apologized, his face burning from shame.
But rather than being disgusted, you burst out laughing. Loki grimaced from shame.
âSorry, sorryâ you laughed. âAdopted or not, you truly are Thorâs brother. You Asgardians sure have a huge appetite.â
Loki smiled. Despite it being a teasing statement, it didnât feel aggressive, and so it drew a happy laugh from him. You had a charm to you he couldnât help but smile and feel like a kid around you.
âYouâre soâŠâ he growled with a big grin.
âAggravating?â you said with a weak smile.
Ah, that. He now regretted his words from the first day you two met. He was such a fool. He saw someone loud and bright and decided you were annoying. But while those first statements were true, you were a delight to have around. And a great baker.
âI should probably⊠a-ap⊠um⊠I havenât been the best God to be around⊠Ah⊠I want to⊠aâ apoloâ uhâŠâ
âApologize?â you smiled and he gulped, before nodding. âApology accepted. I havenât been the easiest person for you to deal with⊠Iâm sorry too. Want the last slice?â
Just like that? He didnât understand how he got away with it so easy. But the offer of the last slice made him nod and you served him the last bit of the pie. Your apology was a bit short too, but as you were placing the last slice on his plate, he noticed your face turn bright red. You didnât seem much better at apologizing. But the effort was there.
He was flooded by a happy memory of his family.
He had failed to convince on of the pastry chefs to make him a pie. He went to climb a special tree on his motherâs garden where he hid to self-contain his tantrums, knowing that his Seidr went out of control when he was upset.
He didnât know how long he was up there when he heard someone calling him. Frigga.
âLoki? Child? Are you up there?â a voice called him.
âNo! Iâm not!â he whined.
He heard Frigga laugh and a sudden sweet aroma filled his nose that made his anger fade away. Apple pie.
âCâmon brother, you come down or Iâll go get you!â he heard Thor calling him playfully. He couldnât stop himself from laughing a little bit.
âIf he doesnât, I will!â a third voice added.
Loki jolted and jumped down from where was hiding from the tree, falling right on his fatherâs arms and both tumbled down onto the grass. Odin didnât often have enough free time to escape his duties and spend quality time around his family. But every once in a while, he sneaked out of his royal duties so all four could do something together.
The rest of the evening they sat together on Friggaâs garden to eat apple pie together, playing and laughing together, and this had been one of the rare occasions where he could outshine Thor, showing the new trick Frigga had taught him. Having the little flower he had picked jump from his hands and onto his brotherâs head now as a frog who screeched and fell backwards, making everyone burst out laughing.
It had been one of those happy days full of laughter and joy. Thor and Loki fought with wood swords and both parents chased their kids pretending to be a pair of Bilgesnipes but trapping them in tickle hugs only for both brothers to team up and try returning the favor to their parents⊠key word: tried.
Loki felt his eyes water a bit and he let out an airy laugh as he wiped his tears. He felt a bit foolish for letting all his anger and insecurities let him forget all those happy days. And letting himself and everyone in his family be drowned in royal duties as he and Thor slowly approached the age of one of them ascending the throne.
âHey, I didnât my apple pie was that goodâ you joked, but still passed him a napkin to clean his eyes.
âS-Sorry, no⊠yes, itâs um⊠itâs very good.â He said, feeling a knot on his throat. âThank you so much⊠for⊠f-feeding me. I hadnât eaten one of these in a few decades. It wasâŠâ
âNostalgic?â you finished the phrase for him, and he nodded. For a silver-tongued guy, he was very bad at expressing his feelings. âItâs okay⊠Just say the word and Iâll make more for you.â
He smiled and sighed as he wiped the last tears.
âThank you.â
âSureâŠâ you nodded and your cheeks turned red. âHey⊠uh⊠since you donât hate me anymore⊠maybe we could watch a movie together in the lounge room. Maybe. If you want.â
That made Loki laugh.
âI hated you?! You made it a ritual to disagree with me and get on my nerves, or do I remind you that you are half to blame for the two of us being in a lockdown?!â he said, but he found no anger in his voice, if anything he sounded amused.
The way your face contorted into a funny ashamed grimace made him bite the inside of his cheek to hold back a laugh.
âMaybe⊠but what was I supposed to do?! I thought you hated my guts!â
âPerhaps let your pride aside for a mission?!â Loki laughed.
âI could let my pride aside had you not mortified itâ you grumbled.
Loki froze for a second. The phrasing was different, but he knew exactly what you were referring.
âYou like Jane Austen?!â he gasped.
âYou like Jane Austen?!â
âI met her!â Loki exclaimed and casted an extremely old book, but it was extremely well kept. âI got this book. âI didnât come to earth often, but I loved to make little trips to get books. I got this book for my 848th birthday, itâs quite literally a first edition.â
âNo way!â you said fascinated as you looked at the book and skimmed through the pages and noticed a scribble and you nearly dropped on the floor. âITâS SIGNED?! I HATE YOU!â
You grabbed the book and ran.                          Â
âHEY! GIVE IT BACK, YOU THIEF!â Loki laughed and chased after you, feeling a flutter in his chest he had never felt.
He chased you around the compound and when he got in range he casted a concealment spell to protect his precious book but now you were in trouble.
Now, he knew you better than heâd ever admit, and he knew that you were one of those mutants that had quite literally god-like strength, just like the spiderling. Although your powers were limited to better stamina, superhuman strength and considerably better speed than an average mutant, but not quite outstanding in that group. And thank goodness because a weakness you had were two left feet and constantly having missteps.
Just like one that given the rush of adrenaline made you drop behind the couch and Loki jumped, sitting on your waist, straddling you with his legs and he struggled to pin your arms to each side of your head. Your faces inches away from each otherâs, your breaths were getting mixed from the proximity as you both panted after the chase.
Norns, you smelled like flowers and that delicious apple pie. And your lips, half parted were just so inviting⊠And⊠no one would know ifâŠ
Before he acted, you had pressed your mouth against his, kissing him fervently and he did not object a single bit, kissing you with a passion he hadnât realized he felt, always too busy with his misconception of you. But now that he had a taste of you he was going wild with the amount of desire in his gut. You were gorgeous, sexy, funny, caring⊠very⊠very sexy.
âIâm sorryâŠâ he breathed heavily. âI was an utter, bumbling fool⊠Iâm sorry⊠I was the aggravating one, and I judged you too fast.â
âIâm sorry too⊠I was stupid too, I got too defensive and aggressiveâŠâ you whispered against his lips, filling his body with warmth and electricity. âIâm so sorry for being a pain in the ass.â
âLetâs take this elsewhereâ he huffed breaking the kiss for just an instance.
And so, the lockdown with you went from punishment to blessing. Now the two of you couldnât get your hands off each other. One thing he had got right from the first meeting is that you gave him that aura of someone who was extremely affectionate. But he never imagined how good it felt to be on the receiving end of those affections. And you were a forced to be reckoned with, but you loved with the same ferocity you fought, and Loki couldnât love it more.
He had had lovers in the past, but it always felt transactional, like it was to get something from him, or he let his own insecurities sabotage his relationships. But this was⊠fun⊠easy. He no longer had any nobility titles on earth, and you refused to acknowledge him as a god in the literal sense. You treated him like an equal, you wanted nothing from him. You were purely and simply into him⊠and that made him madly into you.
But it all changed the second the rest started coming back from their lives on the outside world and return to the compound. Loki couldnât help but feel self-conscious about being lovey dovey in public, much less with someone he had sworn to despise. He knew heâd never hear the end of it from the others. But he couldnât help being captivated by your beauty, your kindness, your sense of humor, that body of yours⊠Damn, he was doomed. And you didnât seem to think much different because you also held back from your affections as soon as there was someone else around.
Wanda and Vision were the first one to return, but those two were in a forever state of honeymoon and barely noticed the world around each other when they were together. But not long after, the compound was full of everyone.
Loki would go insane on days like that because he couldnât shower with you with his devoted affections. It was like a nasty itch he couldnât quite scratch.
But it was noticeable that something had changed between the two of you, given you went from nearly killing each other on every interaction to agreeing on nearly everything. And Loki had stopped avoiding the kitchen where everyone gathered around you while you baked. Loki gained a pound or two since the two of you started dating since you always made apple pie especially for him and now, he never missed a single baked treat you made.
It even made him interacted a lot more with everyone else, which at first he considered a sacrifice, but after growing accustomed to the noise, he came to enjoy the company. It reminded him of those few days where his parents, Thor and himself would spend time just relaxing together. And he was sure that was exactly what Thor thought too.
âSo, you swear it on your life?â Tony asked.
âYes Stark, I swearâ Loki scoffed with a tiny smile. âJust because I was D. B. Cooper doesnât mean I caused every little historical mystery. I donât know who Jack the Ripper was. What he did was vile and disgusting, Thor and I only indulged on confusing humanity, not tormenting you all.â
âSwear it on the name of the love of your lifeâ Clint said holding his beer.
âWhat?!â Loki said, tensing up, fearing the two of you had been caught.
âI donât know, you donât have a wifeâŠâ the archer shrugged. âJust swear.â
âI swear it, Bartonâ Loki said, feeling a bit relieved, but he eyed you and he noticed you had pursed your lips, unsuccessfully fighting a smile and he felt a fuzzy warmth running around in his chest. âBut⊠we may or may not have something to do a certain lost tomb of an ancient queenâŠâ
âNO!â Tony gasped with an incredulous but fascinated smile.
Thor rubbed the back of his neck with an apologetical smile. âSorry about thatâŠâ he apologized and his crewmates started bombarding him with questions. He was so lost in the conversation he failed to hear you calling for him until you raised your voice loud enough for everyone to hear.
âLoki, cupcake?â
âYes?â he responded in automatic.
He immediately realized his mistake when he saw the tray of cupcakes in your hand. You were not calling sweet petnames. You were offering him a treat. Everyone was looking at him weirdly.
âAre you asking me or telling me?â you saved the situation quickly.
âI do⊠want a cupcakeâ he clarified, clearing his throat to not sound nervous.
âExtra cake frosting for frost not so giant?â you smiled teasingly.
âSure.â
And there had been a few more slips here and there. From how much time you two spent together lately, how you always sat together to sneak little caresses under the table to reaffirm your mutual love even if in secret. Or even developing an acute hearing to kiss as passionately as you could when no one was around which led to a few close calls. Or a few night heâd sneak into your room (and vice versa) to spend the night.
And it slowly became more noticeable to the one person who knew him best, or well, at least for the longest time.
Loki had been invited to see a racecar event on the TV with Thor, Romanoff, Stark, Barton, Banner, Rogers and the rest of the guys. You had declined the invitation, more interested in trying a new recipe and unfortunately for Loki you two had decided that itâd be better for keeping face if Loki joined the others and socialized with the group instead of going to watch you bake. And just like that, Loki was stuck watching a bunch of cars running in circles with a now nearly empty glass of Asgardian ale on his hand.
âSo⊠you and our little pastry cook, hm?â Bucky asked, drinking his own glass, that had just a bit of Asgardian ale to make up for the super-soldier resistance to alcohol, making him slightly tipsy. âHappy for you.â
âWhat?â Loki asked, his body stiffening.
âItâs clear you feel a little something-somethingâ Tony wiggled his eyebrows. âHave you done anything about it yet?â
âYou betâ Natasha chuckled. âWhy do you think they argue way less lately? Missions hadnât been this easy in so long!â
Loki felt his cheeks warm, but he simply hid behind his glass under the excuse to drink more.
âCongratulations, brother!â Thor grinned from ear to ear.
âYouâre all straight up delusional!â Loki blushed profoundly.
Everyone laughed loudly at Lokiâs reaction, very evidently not believing a single word. He was so embarrassed, and he couldnât help the hot blush on his face that went all the way to his ears.
âCâmon⊠tell us the truth!â Tony elbowed his ribs, making Loki jolt, which was noticed by the inventor. âWhat was that?â
Thor spoke before Loki could come up with an excuse.
âAh, my brother is awfully ticklish!â Thor smiled brightly. âHe used to love getting tickled when we were little.â
âTHOR!â Loki protested with his face red like a tomato. âN-No, Iâmâ I was a child back then!â
Everyone smiled at him in a way that made even the god of mischief want to run for his life. But Thor knew him well, and before he could escape, and he had put him in an arm master lock, and Loki started squirming to break free, but of course, in a one of one, Loki would never beat Thor in terms of physical strength. Everyone exchanged looks and Loki knew exactly what they were thinking.
âOhoho! I like how you think, Sparky.â Tony chuckled letting his drink to the side, also grabbing Lokiâs drink not to waste it.
âThat brings back memories, eh Bucky?â Steve chuckled, exchanging an affectionate smile with his best friend.
âAnd if my memory works correctly, it was a good way to make you talkâ Bucky agreed.
âLetâs see if it works for Loki TOOâ Steve said and left his beer.
Everyone had forgotten the race on the TV and their drinks to focus on the currently helpless Loki.
âAll of you! If you even dare to lay a single finger on me, I swear I willâ ACK!â Loki was cut off my a light poke on the side by Natasha. His face burned. âDONâT!â
Everyone was giggling at the reaction from the young god. Loki could only squirm and tug against his older brotherâs grip.
And with that, everyone jumped on their former enemy. Poking and prodding the God of Mischiefâs torso. Loki tensed up and held his breath eventually letting out a few laughs, still doing his best to refrain his laughter. He wanted to hold back, but every nerve that was being tormented begged him to laugh.
âThis could easily end if you admit you are datingââ Tony teased.
âIâM NOHOHOT!â Loki yelped, cursing himself for the laughs that escaped past his lips.
A part of him wanted to just get over it and admit how helplessly in love he was with you, he could easily start demonstrating the world how much he loved you. But he knew neither he or you was ready to deal with the teasing itâd unleash, and even if you were ready, he wanted to do it together, not because it was tortured out of him.
âMan, heâs more ticklish than my kidsâ Clint laughed as he squeezed Lokiâs left ribs.
âOh, I was just going to say thatâ Tony laughed, but I squeezing Lokiâs lower stomach. âHeâs a lot feistier though, Morgan would already be in a giggle fit if I tickled here, below her belly button.â
âYeah, but your kids donât have an ego to protectâ Natasha laughed as she wiggled her fingers along Lokiâs right armpit.
Banner was a lot nicer in the sense that he wasnât teasing him, but the constant squeezes above his kneecap had Loki twitching.
âI think heâs gonna explodeâ Steve chuckled as he poked and scribbled along Lokiâs side. âThis could all be over if you just admit you are seeing a certain someone we all know you are dating.â
âWE AHAHAHAHA- WE ARENâT!â Loki laughed. âI SWEAR! LET ME GO YOU BUNCH OF- NOHOHOHOHO! NOT THERE! NOHOHOHOHO! STOP!â
Now Lokiâs face was a dark shade of red and he was laughing his head off. It made everyone freeze a little. He was squirming as if he was being exorcised.
âWoah! Heâs losing it!â Steve jumped. âWho did that?â
âThat would be meâ Thor smiled innocently.
Everyone moved his hands to reveal Thor contorting his arms in a rather uncomfortable manner although very effective position where he kept Lokiâs arms raised and stuck in a Y as he was now drilling his fingers against the spot little crevice at the bottom of each armpit, and right where the armpit met the upper ribs. And Loki was going crazy.
And rather than showing him any sort of mercy everyone else resumed their tickle attacks.
âDammit Thor, you mean defeating your little brother could have been this easy?â Clint laughed. âWe couldâve spared us all of his New York invasion! We couldâve just tickled Loki until him pissed himself!â
Gods no, if at this point they were now friends âor at least, had a cordial relationshipâ and they were about to tickle him to death he might have actually died if they pulled a stunt like this when they were, in fact, trying to kill him. Tears of laughter were already streaming down his face like a river and his stomach ached from the overexertion.
But Loki still refused to betray your trust. There was only one other option left for him: swallow his pride.
âHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE! OH GODS PLEASE, I CANâT HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! I CANâT TAKE IT! I YIELD! PLEASE! PLEASE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!â
Oh, the things he did for love. They wouldnât let him forget it, but he felt his stomach was gonna explode if he wasnât allowed to catch his breath.
âOh, begging? Okay, I think he might be seriousâ Steve laughed.
âI AM! PLEASE! HAHAHAHAHA! THOR PLEASE!â Loki begged, and uttered the words he hated telling Thor the most. But the words that always made him stop: âYOU WIN, BROTHER! STOP!â
Now Thor knew Loki was serious, and he let go of his arms, thankfully everyone else followed, sparing the God of Mischief from the horrid of fate of die laughing. Loki immediately curled up in a ball, he coughing and panting, desperately trying to catch his breath.
Everyone was giggling around him, all completely unaware that you had been around the corner, and you had watched the whole thing.
Days later, you two had the house for yourselves and decided to put a movie Loki would like and sat on the couch to cuddle during the evening, enjoying each otherâs warmth. He admitted that just staying home in baggy clothes and have your arms around each other for hours and hours. And the green sweatshirt you got him was extremely comfortable.
Although as usual, the movie was quickly ignored in favor of kissing each other. You were the sweetest kisser he had the blessing to encounter, you kissed him and caressed him with a love he had never met, you always either cupped his face, played with his hair or caressed his body, but you always sent him into a sensorial state of bliss.
You were such a lovely thing.
âMmm, you choose such good moviesâ Loki joked and chuckled with his lips against yours. âSo engagingâŠâ
âOh, hahaâ funnyâŠâ you giggled and rolled your eyes.
He looked at you with a self-satisfied grin as you looked annoyed.
âOh, câmon darling, I love youâŠâ he smiled.
âYou swear, baby?â you said in a tone that made Loki tilt his head, knowing you were trying to say something.
âWhat do you mean, love?â he asked.
You smiled and placed your hand on his sides, making him jolt.
âA-Ah⊠Darling⊠W-What are you doing?â he asked with a nervous smile.
âI may have learned something about my lovely prince the other dayâŠâ you said flirtatiously. âSomething fun~â
âOh, i-is that so?â he smiled nervously, already having a good idea of what was this discovery of yours. âI-I donât like the sound of thatâŠâ
âOh, câmon, honey⊠please!â you wrapped your arms around him in a happy hug. âPlease let me tickle you⊠Everyone got to tickle you. I want my turn!â
Oh, so he was right. He felt a sense of dread and mild panic. He still hadnât mentally recover from the group attack from the other dayâŠ
âYour turn?!â Loki gasped out, and panicked at the sight of your determination to tickle him. âN-No⊠Darling⊠Please no, honey⊠Please, Iâm awfully ticklish⊠Iââ
You smile widened from ear to ear from excitement. Loki realized that he was burying his own grave, as the more he argued, the more you wanted to tickle him. He sighed.
âIs there something I could do to convince you to not tickle me?â he said with a pleading expression.
âNot at allâ you smiled in that way that brought gods âspecifically, this godâ to his knees.
He accepted defeat like a gentleman.
âAlrightâŠâ he smiled and rested his hands behind his neck, letting himself vulnerable for you. âBut when I say stop, you stop. Deal? I mean it when I say Iâm very ticklish, and you could get hurt, I canât control my magic when I get overwhelmed.â
âOoh, a safe-word already? So naughtyâ you giggled, making his cheeks flush and groan.
âJust get it over withâŠâ he sighed, finding a weird tingle on his belly. A bit of excitement, perhaps.
You nodded and sneaked your fingers with ease under his hoodie, and it was baggy enough to provide no hinderance to your fingers. Wearing a tank top wasnât the greatest idea in retrospect. He let out a few giggles already.
âOh nornsâŠâ he chuckled and sucked in a gust of air to keep his composure when you gently brushed along his sides.
Despite he being completely free to move, and you were only one person⊠he was struggling not to burst out laughing more than when he was teamed up against. Perhaps it was the clothing, or the fact that you made him way more nervous than anyone else in the world. But he was already letting out a few giggles.
âEhehehehe⊠D-Darling⊠Please!â
You were utterly delighted. Loki was the cutest thing in your eyes, and being able to make him giggle like that was a treasure.
âOhohoho gods! Love please, gohoho eheheheasy on mehehehe!â he laughed. âI cahahanât stand it!â
You smiled in adoration and ran your fingers along his lower belly, gently gracing along his waistline and he placed a hand over his mouth and looked away to get away from you, too flustered to look you in the eye. He was the strong and mighty God of Mischief⊠How could you render him so helpless?
âHahahaha! Pffft! Ackâ!â
Oh, but you cruel thing, you quickly took advantage of his raised arm to tickle his armpit making both arms shot down to his sides in a louder giggle fit. He still was afraid to try fighting back, but his body started responding on itâs own and his hands shot to your wrists. But he quickly got nervous. He had severely underestimated how badly he weakened when he was tickled and your superhuman strength. Curse you, mutants.
âNohohoho! Oh, nohohohoho! Stohohohop that! Lohohohohove!â he laughed as tears formed on the corners of his eyes.
All he could do was throw his head back and laugh against the couch as you laid on stop of him tickling him out of his mind.
Surprisingly he didnât mind it too much. He found himself liking the attention.
âHehehehe! Dahaharling! P-Plehehehehease! Please! No mohohohohore! Love, mehehercy!â he laughed weakly.
You giggled and stopped tickling him.
âAre you okay, pretty boy?â you giggled and leaned to kiss the tip of his nose, which made him smile.
âHehehe⊠heh⊠Oh, love, youâre vicious⊠hahahaâŠâ he chuckled. âThat was the worst torture Iâve endured in all of my life⊠hahaâŠâ
âCâmon, you loved itâ you smiled and kissed him.
It felt lovely the way Loki smiled into the kiss, even delighting you with a nice buzzing with the way he laughed into your lips. He simply irradiated happiness, and it was contagious.
âWhahatâs so funny?â you asked with a giggle.
âNothing, nothingâŠâ he smiled brightly and let out a loud contented sigh. âThis is just perfection⊠I love you.â
âAwwâŠ!â you cooed and hugged him tight. âI love you too, you ticklish cutie pie!â
Lokiâs face turned red and groaned, and cringing at the overly sweet pet name. And you knew it and openly did it to get him flustered, even adding a tooth rotting coo to your tone that got him super embarrassed.
âI-Iâm not aâŠ!â he smiled, a bit flustered.
âYes, you are!â you giggled and started tickling him again.
âAHH! Hahahahaha! Let me go! Hahaha!â he laughed as he tried to push your hands away without risking to hurt you if he grabbed your hands. He even kicked against the armrest where his feet had been resting. He was âI cahahahanât- I surrender! Hahahaha!â
âHehehehe!â you giggle. âYouâre a sweetheartâŠâ
âYeah, I⊠yeah, I alright, you winâŠâ he chuckled and nuzzled your nose in the sweetest Eskimo kiss. âYouâre gorgeous.â
You smiled and wrapped your arms around him, hugging him in a nice hug with your chest pressed against his as he held you and let out a big yawn.
âSleepy?â you smiled softly and kissed his cheek and he looked at you with droopy eyes.
âItâs your fault⊠you tickle me too much,â he yawned again. ââŠitâs only natural I get sleepy after you tickle me halfway to insanity.â
âYou love it..â you smiled and snuggled and fell asleep within seconds.
Loki smiled as his hand stopped glowing from the sleeping spell and saw your relaxed form as you rested against his chest. He yawned, and relaxed more now that youâd stay and nap with him.
âI do love itâŠâ he smiled and kissed the top of your head he smiled and saw the little grin on your face as you slept with me. He sighed and soon drifted off to sleep in a nice and peaceful slumber as he left his hands on the small of your back.
He slept for so many hours, so peaceful and content. He was in such a deep sleep that he didnât notice when a few set of footsteps walking to the couch where you two slept.
âSee? I told you they were datingâ Steve whispered.
âI never said I disagreed!â Thor yell-whispered. âI know my brother enough to know when heâs infatuated.â
âCan you two shut up?!â Clint shushed them both, and as he pulled out his phone to take pictures. âThis is gonna be excellent blackmail!â
âYou gotta send them to me!â Tony demanded.
âCâmon guysâŠâ Natasha reasoned with an endeared smile. âItâs kinda cute, they look so happy together. Look at those smilesâŠâ
All the guys looked at Natasha in disbelief, even Banner looked shocked.
âDo you want the photos or not?â Clint asked.
âOh no, of course I doâŠâ she smiled. âSend it to me.â
Now the backlash of hiding your relationship would be a truly aggravating situation.
| MASTERPOST |
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