#IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT I SAID.. or what im thinking. please engage with me..
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hi hello, sorry it's another amputee question, idk if you get tired of these. i found your blog and i like how you share your experiences, thank you for this. im abled myself but im writing a story, and i want my main girlie protag to have a prosthetic leg and here's the thing, i dont really have a reason for it. i guess it says something about me, don't know what, but i just don't know if that's considered, well, offensive, or rude, or something. i don't plan to have any focus on it in the story. the medium is a comic so it's going to be always visible as a prosthetic, but i don't want to explain it in-story either, no backstory, she would probably just have it since early childhood. it won't affect the plot. and that's where i don't know if that's even okay. it feels weird to want that, to include that, almost as if i need to somehow turn the story about it, to have some kind of statement. which i don't actually want to make or even feel able to make as never experiencing it. i want for her to have a prosthetic leg just because. and i don't have anyone to ask this, and i don't mean to offend you by this, and i apologize if i somehow did. but if it's okay with you to answer, i'd appreciate reading. if it's gonna be an angry rant i'd like to read it too. i know you're an upper body amp, but idk, i feel like this question isn't much about the use of prosthetics and more of the general amputee characters, and im scared to ask reddit, i don't even know if that ask made sense. thank you if you read that all, please don't feel pressured to answer. hopefully you'll have something good that brightens your day a little!
thank you, i actually really appreciate this ask! sorry that the response is long and wordy, i got a bit carried away…
so, i've gotten a lot of asks/dms/notes from writers asking about how to write their amputee characters/ocs after my big "writing advice" post, and i think i've ended up ignoring every single one of them, because… well, not to be rude to all those people, but they seem to have completely bounced off the whole 'know why you are writing this' thesis, too caught up in the excitement of their own fantasy to even notice the bit about understanding your own intent as an author and why that matters, let alone really engaging with it. and at that point, i don't think there's any advice or feedback i can give that would break through, especially when it seems what most people are seeking is little details and nuances to add authenticity to their token representation characters or unintentional stereotypes.
but, without any other details or nuances that shape a character's portrayal, based solely on what you've said in this ask, i feel like you're on the right track and probably gonna do fine. the thing that sticks out most clearly to me is how you phrase it, "i WANT to write a protagonist to have a prosthetic leg", you are acknowleding your role as omnipotent author, and i honestly think that's worth a lot more than many people realise when it comes to crafting fiction. you've acknowledged your desire for this character to be a certain way, and you're being introspective about the source of those desires and how it will come across - and that means you're almost certainly also thinking about how it interacts with the rest of the story, how it serves your themes, and how it will be interpreted and understood by the audience.
a lot of responses or people asking me for advice say things like "i am writing a character who HAS an amputation", implying it's an observable fact, pre-concluded before their authoring of them, and therefore something they're much less likely to examine critically. maybe it's unfair of me to draw such deep conclusions from shallow choice of language, but firstly, so many people have been far more obvious about it, saying a character "revealed" or "told" them about the amputation, or just straight up talking abot them as independent entities with their own agency, as if it's a biography and not fiction. and secondly, what are we even doing talking about improving the craft of our writing and how it will be recieved by the audience if we're not going to think about how framing affects interpretation? if someone is reaching out to me asking for writing advice, you bet i am going to assume this is a person who wants to improve the details of their own writing craft, and i'm going to critically engage with the tiny snippet of writing they've given me and analyse how it reflects on them, even if it is "just" a tumblr interaction. i don't even consider myself a writer really, the art i mainly dedicate myself to is music, but i still put careful thought into anything i write that's more than a few sentences, and think about the audience it will be seen by.
sorry, that's a whole other tangent… not at all about what you asked. but by way of example and segue back; what i see you reveal in the writing of your ask is a nervousness and anxiety to 'do well' in your writing, to create a character with an amputation in a way that holds up to scrutiny and criticism, and also a fear of what unfortunate things you might be saying and the responses it would provoke if you misstep. i can totally understand that, not just because you messaged me and i personally have a track record of going off on people lol, but also… yeah, people are very eager to judge and attack art based on a hidden metric of how 'well' it does 'representation' or handles things, and be vocal about the failings of things that make an earnest attempt. and i can see that it's very appealing to want to pull back and hide from that; a character who has a prosthetic leg opens you up to your audience critiquing how well you've handled it, most of them not amputees, many of them with the subtlety and media analysis skills of a sledgehammer… while if you write a story with no amputees in it, nobody has anything to critique.
unfortunately, no matter how well or carefully or authentically you write, there will always be someone engaging with it in bad faith yelling loudly about how awful you are; i recently made a short sharp post giving a trigger warning for medical abuse and body horror in the new zelda game that painfully evoked some of my own experiences, i still got people reblogging it telling me i'm ableist for saying disability is body horror (piss on the poor reading comprehension) and should apologise to all amputees (waves my one hand and nub around in a comical hello gesture). maybe that is on me for writing it quickly in an upset huff instead of making at least two proofreading and editing passes and oh geez, this is getting waaay too long and off topic. okay, to the point.
honestly, from what little you've told me, to be overly reductive, i'd give it a stamp of approval. sometimes people just only have one leg and that's fine, people are born like that, it's a thing that happens - and it doesn't need to shape the entirety of their lives, and reflecting that in fiction is more than just fine, i think it's what we need. sure any amputee character i write is going to be an overt commentary on ableism and medical abuse, because that's what i live, that's what affects me. but i know because i've watched their stuff on youtube, that there are so many people out there that were born limb different that just, don't care about it, and it doesn't really affect their life at all. if your protag has a prosthesis, sure she's had to get fitted for it and train for it, and it might benefit you to do an afternoon of research into that if you want to see how it might holistically flesh out her worldview (look up osseointegration vs external sockets, if you want keywords to help, look for patient experiences instead of doctors).
but also, if her other leg has finished growing and she's got a prosthesis that works, she may not have thought about it literally for years, maybe decades depending on her age. i had braces as a teen and it has zero impact on my life, i've had foot and back problems in the past, and it's irrelevant to me now other than getting new off the shelf shoe inserts every few years. i can think of at least one (australian) celebrity with a pretty long and successful comedy career who most people don't even know was born without one foot, it's just not relevant.
sometimes people just have things going on in the background that don't matter, and sometimes characters should have something just going on in the background too, no matter what "save the cat" sort of writing advice tells you. sometimes cutting literally everything out of a story unless it serves the plot or themes is bad actually, and i guarantee you, even as a hand amputee, i would absolutely LOVE to see a leg amp character who is just having a life, doing other plot relevant things. especially much more than i want to see all the characters of people leaving tags saying some version of "thanks OP, now i can write the suffering and torment of my oc much more authentically". think of the hypothetical little girl born without a leg that just wants to see someone like her.
and finally. what i think is maybe at the core of your anxiousness, at least to my read of your ask. you've thought about your role as author and self reflected about why you want to write a character with a prosthetic leg, and you can't find an answer in you, and you're not sure if that means it's something bad. well, assuming good faith from you, i think that's fine too. people who fetishise prostheses or amputations, people obsessed with the suffering or (percieved) depenedncy, or whatever else it is that makes them yearn to write their hacky awful robot arm characters; they probably don't do the introspection, and if they did, they'd find their answer right away (horniness or power fantasy usually), although i doubt they'd be honest with themselves about it, let alone others. assuming good faith and honesty, if you can't find in yourself WHY you want to write this character with a prosthetic leg….. it's probably just a harmless aesthetic preference.
if you wanted it to do cool things or make her more powerful or more special than others or be endless inconvenience and suffering or make her the chosen one because of it or something, that'd set off alarm bells for me yeah, and i'd be reading into it as a much more harmful aesthetic choice, and responding much more aggressively. but if you want to write a story about other things that features a protagonist who just so happens to have a plausibly normal boring prosthetic leg…. that seems fine to me, honestly. i tend towards having characters with certain hair and eye colour combinations that i find aesthetically pleasing, and as long as i'm thinking about how that could come across and trying to avoid any pitfalls around fetishisation and nastier implications, i think it's probably fine.
there are really only three concrete pieces of advice i would give you:
one, when you've got a cohesive first/beta draft, try to find at least one sensitivity reader who's got as similar disability experience as possible to your character (lower limb, same kinda circumstances, same general use of prosthesis), and listen to their feedback.
two, while i totally acknowledge that leg protheses can be super useful everyday kit for many people, i still have a general aversion to "this character NEEDS a prosthesis or they're helpless" readings, and many people don't want to or can't use leg prostheses… if it were me doing it, i'd make acknowledgement of that, and in a visual medium like a comic, i think that's as simple as having a single panel showing your character waking up in bed without the prosthesis, and maybe at her home there are forearm crutches leaning against the wall as background decoration. maybe if you have any scenes where she's woken up in the middle of the night, or interrupted before being fully dressed for the day, you could show them in use. but that's a personal value suggestion from me, your judgement or sensitivity readers might disagree on the importance of that.
three, you will absolutely need to establish as early and overtly as possible that the prosthesis and amputation DOES NOT MATTER to the story or her character arc. people still very much have a default normative body in mind when engaging with fiction, and anything that deviates from that will 100% be interpreted as a checkov's gun that they will be anticipating and theorising about going off, unless you squash that down. if you want to make a statement about it not mattering, unfortunately i think you're going to have to spell that out as obviously as possible without breaking the fourth wall, or else the audience trained on existing robot limb tropes will be waiting for the traumatic tragic backstory or secret rocket booster to become relevant.
but also…. i'm just some bitch on the internet, talking like i'm more important than i am, getting loudly angry about limb difference when i'm a pretty recent and unusual addition to the group myself. so like, don't take anything i say as absolute, and while it's always good to listen to others, at the end of the day you still gotta synthesise all their thoughts into your own.
i don't really have a nice concluding statement other than to say, thankyou for appreciating my post, and most importantly, thankyou for caring about the craft of writing enough to critically analyse your own authorship, and being curious about how to improve on a sensitive topic.
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HAHA OK UM. ivy exposition time hehe… come read my thoughts i put down in text for you all to read about what i perceive this fictional woman’s backstory to be (this is a lil more cohesive than my harley one but. YEA)
smal cw for VERY brief mentions of abuse (ivys dad + the joker r mentioned)
Ivy grew up in an emotionally vacant house. Her father was very emotionally abusive + occasionally physically. Her mother was hardly around. This caused her to have to take on a lot of responsibility for herself and basically grow up way sooner than she should have
She put a lot of effort into her schoolwork. She had a very caring and helpful science (either biology or environmental science) teacher, she nurtured Ivy’s love of botany
She got a scholarship to acclaimed college and essentially got a free ride? she worked on the side to pay for any spare expenses.
Woodrue was one of her teachers, he was academically lauded for his work in botany but hadn’t been very relevant in the recent scientific discoveries, essentially he was a big shot who got kind of washed up, but Ivy had studied his research extensively and found him incredibly inspiring.
They end up fostering a very intense relationship STRICTLY focused on their scientific research. (SHES LESBIAN.) They’re trying to prove a hypothesis Ivy’s presented about idfk.. accelerating plant growth. Harnessing toxins certain plants create for their healing properties…IDK I DON’T KNOW SCIENCE <3</p>
Their entire work relationship and all the shit they do feels like going 120 mph down a road the wrong way and she loves it. This is truly the first time she’s had full control over her own life and has someone who actually (as she believes) sees her as an equal and recognizes her intellect.
They end up escalating things because they’re both so desperate to prove Ivy’s hypothesis, and Ivy volunteers her own body for them to test their work on. She refuses Woodrue’s offer because its her theory, so she should be the one to suffer if things go wrong…
WHICH THEY DO. Shit goes sideways and Ivy experiences adverse reactions which cause her to become bed stricken (she refuses to go to the hospital because she’s afraid that the toxins could be extremely dangerous, and doesn’t want anyone to suffer because of her science).
She also tells Woodrue to keep his distance, because she wants him to be safe from it too, and he essentially just ghosts her. She’s upset about it but first blames herself because she feels like she’s done nothing but prove everyone right about what a failure she is.
She starts noticing changes affecting her, and its all kinds of fucked up. I can elaborate on this later <3. But essentially her physiology starts warping due to the green encompassing her, growing up from her hands and feet. I think the green parts of her body are cool to the touch, have a plant like texture, and MAYBE? Have plant cell structure ingrained in them vs animal cells.</p>
Also, the green initially starts slowly spreading up her body but she’s able to halt its progression, in order to lose herself completely (think of the kinda deal in annihilation, instead of sexy green plant lady ivy).
She catches wind that Woodrue had HER research published and is taking full credit for her hypothesis, without naming her whatsoever, and it essentially breaks any semblance of humanity she had left.
At this point she’s kind of crazy powerful and can control plantlife as we all know and love <3 She figures out that Woodrue is having a conference where he’s holding some kind of really important lecture on ‘his’ hypothesis, and plans to unmask his deceit in front of the entire scientific community. </p>
She also discovers that he’s warped her discovery from something she wanted to benefit humanity and the environment, to something to gain profit from, essentially going against everything she believed in.
She bursts into the conference and when she sees Woodrue, she essentially blacks out and next thing she knows she’s essentially pulled a Carrie…. NOT EVERYONE DIES!!!! But its brutal and fucked up and she 100% absolutely slaughters Woodrue and makes an example out of him. This is the point in her story where she officially loses any chance she had of her past life as Doctor Pamela Isley.
She uses his desecrated corpse to warn everyone in Gotham, in the world, that the green has woken and will no longer stand by and be desecrated by humanity.
Ivy does a lot of work trying to collapse industries that harm the environment across the world for a while but it’s also hard for her to much alone, and she almost gets bested a few times @_@ She’s absolutely a formidable threat, but she’s also one person with a massive weakness to fire
She ends up slinking back to Gotham to recover after a particularly nasty encounter
Something abhorrent happening in Gotham catches her eye and she can’t stop herself from making an appearance and attempts to wreak havoc before ultimately getting caught and shipped to Arkham for her “extremist beliefs”
Dr Harleen Quinzel is paired with her for weekly meetings.
Harley realizes very quickly Ivy is most certainly Not insane and repeatedly tries to get it appealed, but no one will listen to her. (Ivy was locked up in Arkham specifically bc of her environmental activism/terrorism)
Ivy’s very snide at Harley at first, looking down on her for being so bright eyed and bushy tailed about everything. She’s very much bitter about how she’s repeatedly been wronged, and always cast as a villain despite her believing she’s doing what she can to save the earth.
Ivy and Harley argue about if women can ever achieve anything in this world, the way its built. Harley says she’s sad ivy feels that way but knows she’s going to make a difference. She’s different and she’ll change things.
Ivy doesn’t entirely believe her but seeing someone so downright full of life and hope really does spark something in Ivy that never really dies down.
Eventually Harley gets reassigned and taken off Ivy’s case. They didn’t have a lot of time together but I think that Harley makes a worthy impact on Ivy. This is also before Harley has interacted much, if at all with the Joker
Time passes, Joker’s manipulation ensues, Harleen becomes Harley.
Ivy sees Harley Quinn during a run in with the Joker but doesn’t recognize her at first.
Until she speaks.
Ivy gets hit with a wave of nausea upon realizing how Harley’s fallen from the proud and bright girl who was sitting across from her in Arkham.
After that she uses the green to try and keep tabs on Harley and one night after a particularly bad beating, Joker kicks Harley out and Ivy manages to swoop in and rescue her from near death.
ALSO, IMPORTANT! Ivy struggles a lot with her disgust toward humanity vs her desire to protect Harley. It’s the reason it takes her a while to actively seek a hurt and broken Harley out and rescue her. (she resents herself a lot for not acting sooner, when she realizes how extensive Harley’s injuries are)
TOSSING THIS HERE . about Ivy’s sexuality. I can’t see her ever really opening herself up to any romantic relationships any time during her school life. She’s very driven and focused on her studies and her research. She never really gave her attraction to anyone much thought, so I think that she just expected she would never feel attracted to anyone? Until she meets Harley. I think that meeting Harley kind of opens her eyes like. Wait I can feel this? I deserve this kind of love? With a woman?… she has to work through some shit but she is a big lesbian in love with her weird little clown girlfriend
um i think thats all hehe…. i have more but i kinda wana write a fic about harls and ivy getting together from my interpretation so…… TUNE IN NEXT TIME <3</p>
#poison ivy#harley quinn#harlivy#dc#text#IM FEELING A LITTLE.. cwazy over them <3#IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT I SAID.. or what im thinking. please engage with me..#talking about this stuff is.. EXCITING AND NICE#UM IF I MADE ANY MISTAKES OR ANYTHING.......cringe.. i am tired and i can only do so much#writing
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I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭
last name, jeon.
drabble week: day two
drabble week masterlist
pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader
wordcount: 3k
glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"
notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D
feedback + support mean the world to me!!
“do you wanna form-“
... yes
you DO have an alliance with jungkook
it's a very fair trade honestly
he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience
in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D
no but literally that's how he called it
the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion
especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden
you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down
you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY
you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly
do you plan on denying their advances? yes
but hOW????
you always take the passive-aggressive approach
you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D
you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!
jungkook comes more handy than that too
you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone
you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself
you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you
jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3
ALSO jungkook wants something from you
"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"
that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far
you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!
you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((
jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula
you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since
his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work
jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically
your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago
You Do Not Like Him <3
"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"
now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display
... wow
his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more
his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch
"very romantic, kook."
now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear
he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling
(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)
your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course
"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"
he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????
you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks
"i have insurance, i think."
no that's the wrong answer
why did you even bother.,,.,
jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration
"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."
"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"
oW THAT HURT
he flicked even harder this time!!!
you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing
“wallet, please.”
????
jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you
“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”
right
he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes
you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned
you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit
("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")
you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend
you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers
he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already
in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story
it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye
"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."
WHAT???
there's no way
"how did you-"
"you blush like one."
alright that answer was too quick
hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering
"a-and the love part?"
"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."
okay very true
hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave
hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari
okay this is it
once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now
you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!
"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."
oh okay makes sense
if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable
hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way
shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://
you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional
is that-
hold on a second
"what a coincidence :O"
jimin?
jimin???
as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???
he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him
"i know that look. what am i doing here?"
he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it
AND HE DID!!!
you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no
"i-i didn’t mean-..."
you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging
it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways
"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."
he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you
this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane
"have we been in the same event before this?"
"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."
jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"
you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!
you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting
because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye
jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear
"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."
oh so that's why
he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves
maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds
maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening
"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."
this situation is actually pretty cute
you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably
this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to
“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”
:O
jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???
why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that
“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless
“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”
jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat
wow ur really enjoyable to talk to
“you’re insane and i think-“
listen
you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden
"who are you calling insane?"
jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated
you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now
"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye
hold on
wait
THAT'S JIMIN???
okay now he's confused
sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process
"why are YOU here?"
jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people
the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!
"why’s he here?"
he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy
"long story."
nO???
jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck
YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????
he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??
you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!
"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."
why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???
jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on
“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat
jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face
what is he FEELING
“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”
“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”
he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you
“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush
he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him
"i-i actually don’t mind."
you don't,,,
you don't mind?
HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!
"y/n has a boyfriend."
“... i’m not hitting on her.”
alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol
“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”
you do??
the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!
“i don-“
ALRIGHT THEN
jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask
“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”
you don't answer.
that gives him all the more reason to do so.
“last name, jeon.”
jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”
....
......
the three of you know that’s not the truth
jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it
not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course
“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you
he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit
“what are you doing?”
“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards
jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again
“who are you doing?”
://
“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”
who instead of what??
the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence
“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”
his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”
“she’s not my girlfriend though.”
you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!
and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.
“then who-...”
“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”
jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short
“he’s not my boyfriend.”
...
....
“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges
“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”
god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation
have you been chasing after one another this whole time?
jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it
maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours
you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —
but you don't have the heart to take it off
there's no need to take it off
jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything
his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place
you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it
you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.
it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to
“yeah. what a coincidence.”
#drabble week#jungkook imagine#jungkook imagines#jungkook oneshot#jungkook oneshots#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook au#jungkook headcanons#jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook imagine#jungkook angst#jungkook angst imagine#jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook oneshots
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hiii! im looking for good freinds to lovers fics bc i go through them sooooo fast :/ if you have any good ones pls send them !!!
hii… sorry this took me a whole day but here some Friends to Lovers fics… all the fics I’m recommending are Larry and please be careful with the tags before start reading and leave kudos :)
ABO
♥ Promise Me You Won't Run Away by thinlines @thinlinez | 23k | E
“Does kissing me stop you from having bad thoughts?” Harry asked, voice muffled into the collar of Louis’ dress shirt. Louis chuckled at this. He trailed a hand down Harry’s back, feeling the muscles tensing along with his touch.
“I guess you can say that. You’re a good distraction.”
“Then I will be the best distraction.” Harry answered, pulling back and watched Louis’ lips unashamedly.
“Come distract me, then.”
Or the Prince/ Knight AU in which Harry left Louis, but the omega never once gave up on them.
♥ i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by crybaby | 19k | E
Harry has been in love with Louis Tomlinson for four years, five months, and thirteen days.
Harry had fallen in love with Louis Tomlinson like how he’d seen in movies, and how he’d read in all the books he’d stolen from Gemma, headfirst and shameless. The only problem was, that in films and books, love was always either returned instantly, or else it took time for unrequited love to lose the first two letters, and since the first option was obviously not true, Harry decided he would wait for the second to become reality.
And so Harry waited, three years, eight months, and four days, before his heart had been broken by a gentle rejection and a misplaced blowjob, before Louis and Gemma had packed up and gone to Manchester for university.
(Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend)
♥ picking up the pieces by falsegoodnight @falsegoodnight | 35k | E
“Zayn,” he murmurs, quietly but desperately.
Knowing what to do immediately, Zayn discreetly glances behind them to scan the room. “Walking over,” he says, confirming Louis’ worst fears.
“Maybe he’ll just pass by without stopping,” Louis says, glancing at the tables next to them as if hoping to find some other group of friends Harry had in high school that he could possibly want to talk to.
Eyebrow arched and lips pursed, Zayn has the nerve to look amused. “He’s looking directly at us.”
“Cause a diversion,” Louis rushes through his teeth, panic clawing up his throat. He can’t look Harry in the face again. Not yet, maybe not ever.
Zayn rolls his eyes and grabs his hand, interlocking their fingers. “It’s now or never, dear.”
- Louis returns to his hometown for the first time in ten years for his high school reunion and is faced with memories he’s long since tried to forget.
MPREG
♥ waiting on you by beckywritesthings @beckydoesthings | 21k | M
“Do you want to touch?” Harry asks, taking one of his hands off to tangle with Louis’. His open invitation finally drags Louis’ attention away from his baby and up to his face, blue eyes wobbly with emotions. It’s clear that he’s too taken to really form words, so Harry takes the initiative to press their laced hands against his shirt fabric, warmth from the skin radiating through.
Louis pushes his shirt up to his chest, taking Harry’s hand and pressing it to hold the fabric in place. His hands return to warm skin, palms even more scalding now that there’s nothing in between them. And then, as if that wasn’t enough for Harry’s heart to handle, Louis leans in, pressing his lips right above his belly button.
“Hi, baby,” he says, lips moving across his skin softly. “I’m your… I’m Louis.”
Or Harry is pregnant with a stranger’s baby and Louis doesn’t know. It’s a minor detail that Harry’s both living with Louis and in love with him. No big deal.
♥ you fit me better than my favourite sweater by brightbluelou | 13k | NR
Harry didn't mean to fall in love with his best friend, and he definitely didn't mean to get pregnant. Despite that, it’s probably still the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And after that, well. It just kept getting better.
or; the one where Harry and Louis are friends-with-benefits and Harry unexpectedly gets pregnant. Harry never wants to stop getting pregnant after that, but Louis thinks seven kids is probably enough.
AUS
♥ our matchmaker: the fucking universe by peachloulou | 8k | E |
On your eighteenth birthday, you end up with your soulmates' name tattooed on your body. The universe works in a fairly simple way, so Louis knows Harry is his soulmate. He's got Harry's name tattooed on his ass cheek like a tramp stamp, and Harry's got the name Lou written on the inside of his wrist. Except Harry doesn't know what Louis' soulmates name is because Louis is a romantic fool, and, ever since Harry woke up with the name Lou two years after Louis, he's been a quest to find his own soulmate. Meeting after meeting.
But maybe Louis' wrong, and he and Harry are nothing more than best friends.
Or the one where the universe is annoyingly fucking complicated.
♥ Love Isn't Always on Time by softfonds @softfonds | 45k | E
Falling in love with your best friend sounds like a good idea, until he comes back from a work trip engaged to another man. A Made of Honor AU.
♥ You Might Want to Marry My Husband by Rearviewdreamer | 37k | M
When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore.
♥ Work of Magic by Bekita @justalarryblog | 34k | NR
"C’mon Liam, are you really going to use this against me now? You know the kind of humans his kind is! You know very well why we hunt them!" Louis said, done with the conversation and walking down the hall.
"No! We hunt people who don’t care about others, and neither Harry nor anyone in his family is like that!” Liam exasperated, following behind. “Louis, it's been two weeks, don’t you wanna know how Harry is? Has this hatred taken over so fast?" Liam inquired, knowing the hit a nerve.
"You know what, Liam? I'm not going to have this conversation with you." Louis said decisively, turning his back to his friend ready to go to his class.
But life is never fair, is it? When he turned around he was face to face with Harry in the middle of the hallway. The two stared at each other. Do I hate him? Louis wondered as he watched Harry's eyes fill with tears and seem to be begging for something. He preferred to ignore the pang in his chest and the urge to comfort the boy in front of him. He lowered his head and continued on his way.
Or the one that Louis is a WitchHunter and Harry is a Witch and they keep it as a secret, but they fall in love.
♥ practice in pencil, seal it in pen by loubellies @loubellies | 16k | E
AU where drunk Harry lifts Louis up after someone says “bottoms up”. Louis blushes at Harry’s antics, flustered that his best friend knew him more than he thought. Friends to lovers with a happy ending pleaseor Harry is in love with Louis but he doesn't know.
♥ plant new seeds by glitterhaz @cloudslou | 44k | TUA
Harry nods, not trusting his words. Slowly, he crawls under the covers of his bed, all too aware that Louis is doing the same, so close to him. Initially, he faces his desk, not looking at Louis, but after a few minutes he gets uncomfortable and turns over. Now, he’s only a foot from Louis’ face, and Louis has turned around too.
He doesn’t think Louis is asleep already, and it's confirmed when Louis’ eyes blink open sleepily. Harry looks at Louis, and Louis looks at him. Really looks.
“Can you see me?” Louis whispers.
Harry doesn’t understand the question, not really, but nods anyway. “Yeah, I see you,”
**Louis works at a lonely community garden, Harry is the upstanding fraternity man who makes it all feels a little less lonely. Over the course of a semester, that is.
♥ Skin New, Hands True, My Hands All Over You by PearlyDewdrops | 44k | E
Harry designs wedding cakes, so of course meeting blissfully happy couples every day is part of his job description. Unfortunately, it's caused Harry to perpetually hope each new day is the one he'll find love, too. That is, until Harry realises everything he's ever wanted is right under his nose in the shape of his best friend, Louis.
But predictably, Harry only comes to this epiphany when Louis starts seeing someone else. And this is not a John Hughes movie as far as Harry is aware. Everyone else is pretty sure, though.
Featuring a heavy dose of pining, copious amounts of alcohol, drunk dialing that results in a situation reminiscent of Rachel Green's, a ginger cat that likes to interrupt intimate moments, and a Halloween party that changes everything.
♥ if it kills me by you_explode | 110k | M
Harry and Louis have worked together in a difficult office environment for six years. They're best friends; Louis is the bright spot of all of Harry's days. But Louis is in love with Harry, and Harry's engaged to someone else. And that's only the beginning.
The Office AU. More or less follows the first five seasons. A lot of pining and misunderstanding the depth of feelings and rejection and angst, until there isn’t.
♥ In This Light by exhilarated | 99k | E
Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.
♥ smell the sea, feel the sky by lightswoodmagic @lightwoodsmagic | 16k | E
They’d been planning this beach trip for months, stressing around work schedules and engagement parties, trying to find the perfect place to stay in and a time where there wouldn’t be families everywhere but the weather still perfect. Louis had spent what felt like hours researching and planning, dinners with Zayn and his boyfriend at their house that just ended in looking at places and sending them to Niall. He’d been looking forward to it for weeks, getting away from his job and his bullshit neighbours and the noise of the city.
It seemed ridiculous, really, that in all that time, Zayn hadn’t mentioned once that Harry was coming.
Or, Louis doesn't know how he's going to spend a week with the one person he wants and can't have. Harry proves him wrong.
♥ This Shifting Ground by zarah5 | 28k | M
University AU. In which Louis, law student, is the cheeky waiter to Harry’s dates. This is how it starts.
♥ No One Like You by myownspark | 19k | M
Dear Niall,I was glad to have the chance to talk with you again at the AHA conference. Your idea that the Musee D’Orsay Tomlinson painting is in fact not a self-portrait is an intriguing one, and I may have discovered something that will have a bearing on that theory.
Some background: as you may remember, I’ve been researching for a book I’m writing about Harry Styles. I’ve been in communication with Styles’ last living descendant, who is in possession of a trunk that her family believed to have belonged to Styles himself. It held some personal items she presumes to be his, including two unmounted paintings and a small collection of letters.
Upon spending the last few days in Provins studying these items, I believe there to be a connection between Tomlinson and Styles, and I would very much like your opinion.
Are you up for a trip to France?
Sincerely,
Liam Payne
Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.
♥ across city skyline (and straight through my heart) by Halos_Boat @halohamilton | 76k | M
Louis Tomlinson meets Hollywood Heartthrob, Harry Styles when he walks into Louis' little bakery one day.
Immediately, Louis is charmed by him and Louis thinks Harry might feel the same way, given the fact that Harry has visited the bakery everyday since he'd come to town.
Until one day, Harry walks in with a boyfriend under his arm and a smile on his face.
The one where Louis owns a small bakery that's well known in his town and Harry Styles is an actor who comes to town to film a new movie. Louis is endeared by him, but that doesn’t seem to matter since Harry Styles is already taken.
♥ Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | M
As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.
♥ Here In The Afterglow by fondleeds | 88k | NR
“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.
Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”
- 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.
♥ Nicotine by KrisStylinson | 42k | E
"We're two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we'd never date." Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.
"Just because you can get me hard doesn't mean I like you," Louis whispered. The fact was, he didn't like Harry right now, not at all. Not even a bit.
"Yeah, yeah," Harry murmured, his breath fanning over Louis' cock as he spoke. "You done telling me how much you hate me so I can suck you off?"
♥ California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | M
Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.
A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.
—————
if you feel like you need more, don’t hesitate to ask me :)
#friends to lovers#trackinghome#tracksintheam#1dsource#hljournal#hlsource#my fic rec#larry fic rec#themed fic rec#long post#this a REAL LONG POST#sorry but yk...#fics can't wait heheh#when I was looking for fics through what I have read I noticed this is one of those tropes I barely read#but I’m always willing to read :)#hope it helps:D#ask#louisloverera
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what soobin is like as a boyfriend
warnings & other: none i just love him but let’s be honest who doesn’t, this gets cheesy in some parts bc he just gives off stereotypical kdrama bf vibes but guys he’s the one
w/c: round to 1k
ok first off
sorry if i rant soobin is my baby so ofc i think he’s the perfect boyfriend
he’s so
ugh
ok when you meet him he’s a shy boy
like really won’t wanna look you in the eye
ok like super fucking awkward
like painfully and you’re like “hahah ok that’s cute”
that only applies if you look intimidating tho
if you’re one of those people who’s blessed with not having resting bitch face he’ll be flirty
well you know..
he has his own methods of being flirty
he’s charming in his own way
probably does what yeonjun does but more subtle
stares
will stare at you
and when you make eye contact he smiles and rubs his lip with his finger DJSJSKDK PLZ
alternatively: looks away, purses his lips with a smile, ears get red, looks back up to you already looking at him then he waves
youre left like
“omg he’s so fucking cute”
ok but actually like he will reel you in without you even knowing
next thing you know you’re laughing at his lame ass jokes
god forbid you think he’s funny
“you think I’m funny? well we should date” :)
wait im pretty sure he said he doesnt go after someone unless he knows they like him back
tbh he’d probably wait until you make the first move
or wait until you show interest or else he’ll just hide his feelings
you have to bring him out of his shell
once you do...oh boy
100% never leaving you alone
always telling you how much he loves you
he’s the sweetest
teeth rotting sweet
i feel like he would slowly open up to you during the relationship
he’s not like automatically into it if that makes sense
shy to initiate things at first
such as kissing and touching
asks you if it’s ok first
we love consent
free samples kind of guy
dont take him to an ice cream shop or shops in general
he will devour the free samples
next thing you know you’re leaving with goat cheese and the newest ice cream flavour
he gives hopeless romantic vibes
would want to bake with you in the kitchen
and i know this sounds cliche but
flour fight
he’s cute with it at first
just rubs some flour on your nose then next thing you know
“we turned our dog white”
he’s a simple man
however
he probably spoils you
but not like expensive item type of spoiling he isn’t extravagant
god forbid the price range of any of the items he buys you exceeds his actual paycheck
cute gifts that you’ll actually use and cherish
i dont see many fights happening with him tbh
maybe if you question his leadership choices then i can see a fight happening
for example if you think he couldve handled a situation better in a certain way and you point that out to him he’ll get all defensive
“im the leader of my group dont tell me what you think is best for my group”
then you’re just like “well shit fuck you too i was just tryna help”
i can see him distancing himself after a fight if you’re also feeling a bit aggitated
doesn’t talk to you until it’s literally 2am and neither of you are sleeping bc yall always cuddle and you’re not cuddling him
:(
he’s always the first one to say sorry
my god he makes fun of you so much
not on a beomgyu level though
more of a “if you say something silly i will make you feel so dumb for the rest of the day” kind of clowning
wow jealousy
i feel like he’s not super jealous unless he feels threatened
everything was fine until the fire nation attacked
once he sees you getting a little too buddy buddy with someone else he’s like nah i gotta shut this shit down
he’s humble but once he’s jealous he’s all braggy to make himself seem above who ever was trying to get at you
“yeah i think we ALL-”
boy do you have to comfort this big baby
he’s sensitive :(
hold him and rub his head on his off days
tell him he’s the best boy and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks screw them
he laughs like
“shouldnt i be comforting you?”
soooooooooo sappy
cliche asf boyfriend
buys you flowers
if he could he would be doing the whole radio outside your window thing (side note: yeonjun would too be he’s whipped asf)
college bf (we saw it coming)
see also: college bf who helps you in what he can and tells you to screw math bc you don’t need it anyways
shows up at your school or job after his practice
everyone loves him
everyone
you gotta be on guard 24/7
i wouldnt say you’d be insecure per se but soobin definietly lacks awareness when it comes to being flirted with
he recognizes others advances but laughs awkwardly, forgetting to tell the person he already has a partner
~cue mild argument~
at the end of it all he’s like “dont worry i only like you jeez”
if he’s working on a song he asks for your input
or rather how would you interpret a certain emotion that he isn’t able to convey
just to joke around, if he has to write a song about heartbreak but neither of you have been through that he’ll be like
“well there’s a first for everything :)”
soobin 100% takes the time to learn about your culture
he’s invested what can i say
introducing you to the other members isn’t THAT bad
but they definitely clown soobin
txt: “how come your partner is cooler than our own leader”
“maybe they should lead us instead” (joke)
soobin’s like fuck yall i can be cool :(
always send you cute selfies
with messages along the lines of
“i miss you :((((”
“bring ice cream on your way back!”
“be safe tho xxx”
he gives embarassing dad vibes
you can’t introduce him to your friends !
since he has you around he isn’t too shy and once he engages in conversation you better pack your bags
he’s trying to be funny (keyword: trying) but really it’s just your friends laughing to not make the hot idol bf not feel bad
you help him with his script for music bank
speaking of music bank
yes, yes, you are clowning him like the rest of txt and he comes home like
“not you too :(((((((”
hueningkai
my goodness hueningkai
yall tussle over soobin’s attention
sometimes it feels like youre sharing soobin with kai
you love them both but youre like “kai sweetie it’s cold and i wanna be the one to cuddle my bf so please”
speaking of cuddles
best cuddles
ones where he’s wearing a really comfortable sweater that’s actually nice material and your face gets buried in his chest
his limbs will be tangled in yours no doubt
but wow he’s so warm you almost never wanna let go
they don’t call him “home” for nothing
tall boy
makes fun of you if you’re shorter than him
yes he does tease you by placing items on higher-than-you-can-reach shelves
kick his shins he’ll give in
you: ”hows the weather up there”
him: “nice actually but you wouldnt know now would you :)”
tell him your problems, tell him anything
he will listen
and i mean let-you-ramble-for-hours kind of listen
but at the end of it his input is always valuable and he isn’t judgemental
he’s a good listener and gives good advice!!!
he’s not the leader for no reason put some damn trust in him!
#choi soobin#soobin#soobin imagines#fluff#soobin reactions#soobin drabbles#soobin drabble#soobin fluff#txt imagines#drabble#tomorrow x together imagines#txt headcanons#soobin headcanons#txt reactions#txt scenarios#soobin timestamps#soobin fic#soobin x reader
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okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it
TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.
cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault
also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)
let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.
*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.
so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.
So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"
There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.
(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)
However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.
When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.
1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.
2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.
BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.
3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.
4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.
Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.
However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.
and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.
Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.
The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.
(yes...this is a thing.)
The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.
This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.
Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.
Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.
And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.
#nyc knacks#cults#ive been sitting on this for a while but it came up on the dash and i took the opportunity to talk abt it#bc i feel very passionately abt it#ok 2 rb
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“I’m Cold”
“I’m cold"
“And?”
“Can’t you give me your jacket or something?”
“Can’t you accept my proposal and marry me already?”
In which Prince Donghyuck’s parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up
Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn
Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive (I’ll add more if there are)
Notes: Chapter 9 out of 13 of Im Cold. This came out a lot
WORD COUNT: 3.6k
Prev / Chapter 9 / Next
Donghyuck, your eyes were closed just as he had instructed and smiles, it was a long day and he knows your scared so he stayed by your side just as you had requested, he sat across from you (which you were worried about, you invited him to sit beside you so it'll be comfortable but he just holds your hand and tells you to rest, and with great reluctance and a lot of persuading from the Prince you finally decided to rest. He only pulled his hand away when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, Doyoung texted him after he clearly stated to not be bothered, at least Doyoung tried
Donghyuck stares at his phone, Y/n should be okay by tomorrow, in any case I'll instruct Yuta to stay by her side all day and make sure Yangyang and two or three of the Honoris (the knights that Prince Donghyuck Commands, lead by Sir Yangyang) are at her beck an call, he nods and types on his phone Yes reschedule it to tomorrow
"Your Highness?" Your voice made his finger hover over the send button and he looks up his hand immediately taking yours, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you while you're busy"
Donghyuck shakes his head "I wasn't," he smiles softly "Didn't I tell you to get some sleep?"
You returned the smile "I can't"
"I can ask for a glass of warm milk" He says and attempts to stand and then pointed a finger at you, you tilt your head "Milk not hot chocolate, you won't be able to sleep with the sugar"
You smile at his words "No, please" You held his hand making sure he wont leave "Don't wake the anyone for my sake, I'll sleep"
"Then sleep"
"But I wanna ask the Prince something"
"Go on then" Donghyuck says as he looks at his phone where Doyoung was still waiting for his response
"Can I go home?" Donghyuck froze at your words, fear being evident n his eyes as you clarified, his mind was running with questions of this was how afraid you were to afraid to stay at the palace "Tomorrow is supposedly my day off as a maid, I would like to go home and meet my family if that's ok"
"Of course its ok" He answers visibly relaxing at your request "I'll arrange a ride and escorts for you"
"I don't need escorts I'm just going home, Your Highness"
"You're my Fiancé you can't leave the palace without an escort, you were at the the palace and you got hurt what if you're out there?"
"Please? I don't want to make this a big of a deal"
He was firm with his decision about having an escort, the he grinned as he had an idea "Can I come?"
"Sorry?"
"No escorts just you and me, It'll be great to get out of the palace and you get to go home"
You sat up and shook your head "Your Highness I just help my parents with the flower shop, it'll be extremely boring-"
"Then wouldn't my visit be beneficial?" Donghyuck says and tilts his head "Not only am I visiting my soon-to-be-in-law's but I'm also visiting their shop that should boost your sales"
"Prince Donghyuck-"
"I don't wanna leave you alone" he cuts you off, he sounded sincere and worried his hand holding yours and you scrunched your nose and Donghyuck had to resist the smile that threatened to leave his lips
"But his highness has a schedule tomorrow"
"I don't" He answered quickly, his other hand (the one not holding you) had already pressed backspace and sent a new message to Doyoung
"I really don't" He answers and gives you a small smile "Let me accompany you?"
You stared at him, will it really be ok? If the Prince neglects his duties for you, you might actually hit him "You can come" He lights up "Only if you have nothing to do, otherwise," you pursed your lips "I'll go with another escort, ok?"
Donghyuck nods, happy to have you agree "Ok, I accept your terms, now get some rest, I'll make the preparations"
You nod and settled back down "Stay with me 'till I fall sleep?"
He nods at your suggestion and in all honesty, Donghyuck had no plans in leaving you alone at all, he watches you close your eyes and he looks at his phone where Doyoung has sent a message
Donghyuck looks at your already sleeping form and he smiles, he adjusts the blankets to cover you more and used his finger to brush the hair out of your face and he coos, You looked exhausted which was true today had been a long day and you deserved the rest so he pulls away and looks out your window into the grassy fields. He took this time to think about Doyoung's suggestion, next week the deal would be over and you will no longer be his fiance, he will no longer have a reason to bring you around anymore, he nods
He sighs, a bitter taste filling his mouth, this shouldn't be hard, why would he care if the deal is over? He locks his phone, What the hell is wrong with him?
"Mama, Papa!" You called and happily jumped to hug your parents the moment you entered the shop, "I missed you"
"Aww Y/n" Your father whispers and hugs you "My Darling, look at you" You smile and leaned into your father's scent before you get an earful from your mother
"Mama?" You called and you yelped as your mother hugged you before pinching your ears and you cry "Ma!"
"Y/n what the hell are you thinking?!" She screeched "Why agree to be on a fake relationship with the Prince?"
You pouted and rubbed your ears, as your father laughs, its no secret that he misses how you and your mother would play around, "Pa, why won't you defend me?" You whined and he laughs more
"I'd rather not get in-between you and your mother" He answers
You scrunch your nose "Traitor"
"Y/n" Your mother calls you again and you straiten up "Do you have any idea-"
"Lay off her Ma" A familiar voice starts from the doorway to the back of the shop and you squealed running over to tackle your brother in a hug "Hi" He chuckles and pets your hair before pinching your ears "Cause I want first dibs, I can't believe you did something so reckless"
"Pa!" You called out and your father pried your brother off you "Like you guys would've said No to the Prince?"
You're brother looks at you and he laughs "Come here" You moved to him and he pulls you to a hug "You're an idiot but you got a point"
You rolled your eyes and hugged him happily, You missed your brother.
"Still, why you?" Your mother asks and you moved to hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek "Is the Prince treating you well? Fake or not he should treat you with respect"
"He does Mama" You answered and held you mother more "The Prince is really kind and caring"
She looks at you and you smile, "If you insist, But that doesn't mean I'm happy with this Fake Relationship of yours"
"There is no need to worry Y/n is in great hands" Donghyuck answers and entered the shop Bowing in front of your parents and they bowed in shock at the sudden intrusion. Donghyuck yelps and quickly straitened your families posture, "No Please, Don't bow, I do not deserve that" Your family looked down, ashamed at there words and the Prince laughs "They act like you"
"Your Highness-" Your brother starts
Donghyuck bows "Please, It's Donghyuck. Even if Y/n and I are on a deal, We have become good friends, and I would like to be close with her family too"
You poked your brother's shoulder so he'll speak "It'll be an honor your Highness" He smiles bowing slightly and Donghyuck bows
"I would like to Present gifts to Y/n's family" Donghyuck starts and moves to take a box out from his bag "Consider this as a thankyou for giving birth to Y/n and an engagement gift from me"
"You Highness" I gasped and he grins moving to present the gift
"Oh my god" Your mom gasps and looks at the Prince smiles "Y/n mentioned you needed a new plot of land for your plants, I have brought the deed of the land, I hope that is alright"
"My Prince we can't accept this" Your father answers
He shakes his head "Please, It would be an honor to help" He takes out two other boxes and bows handing it to your parents "And these are presents from the King and Queen"
Your parents froze at the Prince's words "Your highness" Your father starts again and Donghyuck motions for them to open the gift
Your bother drags you away and puffs his cheeks as you laugh, "Y/n, was the Prince always, stuck up?"
You smile, you knew your brother was very insightful and he has the tendency to say things he regrets later on but you decide to tease him anyway "Should I relay your words to the Prince?"
He hits you at the teasing and you laugh, Donghyuck turns to you and smiles, he didn't regret seeing you here at your home, He adores your smile and you deserve to be happy and he'll do anything to keep that smile of yours. He looks at your parents "And I would like to buy flowers, The Queen always mentioned that she wanted the Royal Gardens to be expanded" He smiles "Do you have any recommendations?"
"Y/n" He calls and you and you walked towards him, and he shows you the flowers in his hands "Red Chrysanthemums or Heliotrope?" He asks and you scrunched your eyebrows
"That doesn't match the flowers In the Royal Garden, Your Highness" you answered "Lilies might blend well with The Queen's White Carnation"
"I'm not placing them there" He answers and you looked at him confused "They'll be in the plot of land by your room"
You blinked "What?"
"You never told me how plane that part was and The Queen wanted to extend the Garden and I thought why not" He answers and looks at the flowers "Which one would you think is better?"
"It is completely your choice, My Prince" You answered
"I'm asking you, Y/n"
You looked at him and he raises an eyebrow waiting for your answer "The Heliotrope"
He nods and hands it back to your mother as he takes out his phone to contact Doyoung "I'll take fifty of those" He informs
"Fifty is too much for that land, Your highness" You Informed as your parents stared at the Prince in his surprise
"I know" He answers and smiles "I have something in mind for the extras"
"Would you like coffee your highness?" Your mother asks as she places the hot water into a glass
He nods his head as you tilt yours, You're family made you sit by the Prince while they prepare snacks, You're mom doesn't seem to have notice the Prince's answer as you spoke first "Ma can I get Hot chocolate?"
"No" She answered and you pout "No, too much sugar" She says and raises her eyebrow at you but you nodded
"Um," Donghyuck cuts in "I would like Hot Chocolate if that's alright" You looked at him, He hates sweets, why would he ask of that?
Your mother nods, smiling at the Prince "Yes of course"
Your brother flops down across from you "You'll give it to her, won't you?"
You looked at The Prince who nods "Is it that obvious?"
"I'm afraid so your majesty"
The Prince laughs and nods "Well it can't be helped"
"You don't have to worry about me you know" You started and he looks at you "I could always coax Mama"
He smiles "I know, but I thought this would be easier"
You opened your mouth to retaliate only to hear the front door of the shop open and a familiar voice pop in "Auntie where should I put these?" you stared at the figure at the door as Donghyuck looks at him he bows "I'm sorry for barging in, I didn't know The Prince was here, I wouldn't have entered otherwise"
Donghyuck watched as the boy looks at you before standing up again "No Please, Come in"
The man bows and looks at your brother as you stared at him "Hyung, I'll go put this in the storage room" He informs and moves to enter the storage room, his eyes briefly meeting yours before disappearing behind the door and you couldn't help but whimper at the action
The Prince stared at you confused behind the exchange and you seemed frozen, staring at the door. He reaches out a comforting hand to yours but your brother despite being a fan of the Prince knows the reason behind that look in your eyes and he was starting to grasp the Prince's feelings for you but he had to be sure "Y/n" He called your name before The Prince could hold your hand and you jolted as if waking up from a trance
You reached out to pat the Prince's hand which was closes to you as you stood up "I'll be back, just a moment, My Prince" You said and stood up running to the storage room "Hendery!" You called and disappeared behind the door
"You're quite quick" Donghyuck says looking at the door the way you did when Hendery entered "You knew what I was doing?"
Your brother nods "I'm sorry for interrupting but my sister, despite being your fake Fiance is still my sister" He answers and takes a deep breath, he knows that is rude but The Prince seemed to enjoy the conversation, you and your brother are alike, both of you aren't afraid to stand up for yourselves
"Who is he?" Donghyuck asks and looks at your brother, using his position as the Prince to dominate your brother who was older than him
"My sister must be very important to you your Highness" Your brother notes, his competitive side coming out "Makes me wonder how important my sister is to His Highness, may I ask why?"
Donghyuck seemed to have been taken a back by the question begore humming and regained his composure, Why does this bother him? "I promised Y/n," He answers and smiled "I promised her despite being in a fake engagement," Donghyuck copied your brother's tone as a silent way to warn him about his words "That I'll take care of her"
Your brother nodded, The Prince's intentions was definitely to take care of you, he now has no doubt "His name is Wong Hendery" Your brother answered "He is my sister's Boyfriend" Donghyuck froze at the information and your brother looks at him to study his reaction "Didn't Y/n mention him?"
No. "Yes," He lies and looks at his hands, it shouldn't hurt, but why? Why does he want to cry? "She has, I just didn't know what he looked like"
"You should follow her, My Prince" Your brother starts "I doubt Hendery would believe her if she was the only one who spoke about your agreement"
And Donghyuck stand to follow after you the moment your brother said those words
"What do you want me to believe?" Hendery asks and you looked at him reaching out to hold his hand "I was hurt," he whispered and you teared up at his words "Why would My Y/n be in a relationship with the Prince when she just accepted my love for her? Did I do something wrong? Was it me? Did I drive her away?"
You shake your "No, Don't think like that-"
"Then Why?" He asked, his emotions a mix of both anger and sadness "Why?"
"We're not together, the Prince asked for my help and I wanted to say no but how could I say No to the Prince?" You pleaded "I'm sorry," you bowed your hand and a sob leaves your lips, Donghyuck who was listening behind the door flinched at the sound of you crying, he wanted to barge in there and hold you, to console you, he wanted to be in there with you "But the Prince is just a Prince," Tears started slipping from your eyes as you spoke, the build up of frustration and fear and pain you felt the last couple of days finally being enough, Hendery being the only person you could rely on and at the thought of loosing him you broke "The Prince doesn't mean anything to me, Hendery, please I'm sorry-" you cried and were silenced when Hendery wrapped his arms around you
"Y/n what happened in the Palace?" He asked and wiped your tears, he knows you enough to know how strong willed you were and that something must've happened if it upsets you that much
Donghyuck freezes at your words and looked away, tears building up in his eyes, he was in pain, why? he doesn't know himself, maybe its because he can hear you crying and not be able to do anything about it, that seems to be the only reason
You shake your head as he holds you close "Believe me the Prince and I-"
"I believe you" Hendery spoke and pulls away to look at you, wiping your tears "I promise, I believe you. Didn't I tell you while I courted you? I'll believe anything you say as long as you choose me in the end"
You stared at him and started crying even more and he holds you "Please Hendery I'm so sorry" You wailed and he looks up whatever happened to you must've placed a huge toll on your mental state "Please don't leave! I-I can't loose you! I can't- I was so afraid, I was so scared I- I felt so alone and-"
"You're ok, I'm here, I'm staying" He assures and whispers into your ears "I love you, It's ok, let it out, you need to cry it all out" he whispers "Let me take care of you, Let me" He says and you loose consciousness, "Y/n!" He curses before lifting you, carrying you out of the storage room and he sees the Prince on his way
Donghyuck looks at your limp figure on Hendery and opens his mouth to speak before Hendery turns and walk in the direction of a bedroom and places you inside and down on the bed, his hand intertwined with yours to whisper small promises of him staying 'till you wake up
"What Happened to her?" Donghyuck asks after following after Hendery and you
"No offense, Your Highness but shouldn't I be the one to ask you that?" Hendery shot back and looked at the Prince "What happened in the palace? Why was she she afraid?"
Donghyuck's jaw hardened, He had no reason to fight against the boy in front of him, he is legally your boyfriend and just outside was your family, he is at a great disadvantage "She was Physically abused by a Duchess and her daughter"
Hendery stood up "She was, what!?" He was angry enough to speak informally to the Prince but Neither could care less, You were more important than their status
"I took care of it," Donghyuck answered, lips pursed as he sees your figure "I saved her, and punished the Duchess and Haneul accordingly"
"You heard our conversation, which part of that is her being ok?"
"I don't want any harm on her, I came and helped the moment I heard about it"
"Why would a Duchess harbor something like that?"
"I was once engaged to the Duchess's Daughter"
"On a fake relationship?"
"Watch your tone" Donghyuck warned and Hendery stared at him unthreatened "The King thought it would be the perfect match, but I dumped her when I caught sight of her personality"
"She must've been scared" Hendery whispers and sits back down "I don't care about your story, My Prince, but you must understand, I love Y/n and I will do anything to make her happy"
"I can see that, rest assured" Donghyuck sighs "I'm sorry, for making your relationship with her complicated, but our agreement will only last for two weeks, and I will make sure no harm will come to her after I announce about our break up"
Hendery looks at your sleeping form and then back at the Prince "I know your Highness" he answers and kisses your fingers "She has a special place with you, doesn't she?"
"No, She is a friend" His jaw hardened once again at the words
"well in that case" Hendery looks at the Prince with a tilt of his head "Can I ask the Prince for a favor about Y/n's Birthday?"
"Her Birthday?"
"Yes, I was planning on surprising her with a sweets my mother bakes" He smiles softly at a memory of you adoring his mother's sweets "perhaps The Prince will be interested making her birthday more memorable?"
I’m Cold Taglist:
@staysstrays @tyongf-sunflower99 @jackyeongljin @rebel-lious-alien @daydreamiies @channiespup @jaeshark @itlittlefangirl @ncttboo @manutuankim @annetsocial
If you wanna be added, leave a comment♡♡
#taeyong#Taeil#johnny#Yuta#kun#doyoung#ten#jaehyun#winwin#xiaojun#hendery#jungwoo#lucas#mark#jaemin#renjun#Jeno#HaeChan#haechan smut#haechan x reader#royal!haechan#lee donghyuck#donghyuck smut#nct donghyuck#donghyuck imagines#donghyuck x reader#yangyang#shotaro#sungchan#chenle
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Please dont conflate the real world harm JKR has caused us LGTBQ people to reading and writing fics with DE!James. This alienates those of us readers who have marginalized identities who dont have issues reading DE!James not to mention the countless POCs/LGTBQ who are in the other Harry Potter fandoms who read and write stories about death-eater main characters. Marginalized ppl should always feel safe to state their opinions without fear of being shouted down & Im proud they are speaking up. Shaming ppl who dont oppose the death-eater trope & the name calling Ive seen isnt the way though.
There's a lot to talk about here and if you'd like to come off of anon to have a nuanced discussion privately, I'd be more than happy to do that with you. I am not here to call anyone names. And I'm not here to shame anyone. I am here, first and foremost, to support my fandom friends who are hurting.
Firstly, if you have no issue reading these fics, no one is stopping you from reading those fics. No one is coming to take your devices or delete your ao3 account. What I am saying is going forward, I personally, will no longer promote these specific fics on my page (that I control) because it makes people that I love dearly in this fandom deeply unsafe and uncomfortable and I do not want to be the cause of that.
I am also calling on all fans who have engaged with specifically the de!james trope (again, that's the topic at hand within the jily community that I am addressing, I am not here to comment on any other death eater centric fics for that's not the particular niche of fandom I am in) to read and listen to poc/jewish fans who are speaking out. See why they are uncomfortable with this particular trope, see why they are upset, think critically about what an influx of this type of fic is doing to the community at large. Fandom doesn't operate in a bubble.
As far as conflating real world harm jkr has caused, I assume you're referring to the last paragraph of this post here. First, I want to say my words here were not meant to conflate the irreparable harm jkr has done to lgbtq people to fic writers creating fic surrounding de!james. What I wanted to do was to offer up questions I personally have asked re: jkr's bigotry for those attacking poc/jewish fans for speaking out about their discomfort within the community.
That being said, antisemitism is very much still an issue that still exists to this day. And when, death eaters are very much a thinly veiled allegory for nazis and they start to become romanticized, there actually are real world consequences for that, even if de!james is just fanfiction. (we know of course, this isn't just a fanfiction issue. nazi romance novels are still a thing in fiction. and the storyline of the new hp video game is chock full of antisemitism). Based on the discourse surrounding de!James today (and honestly this isn't the first time either), there are clearly real world consequences happening. There are real people behind tumblr blogs who are hurting. And they're being made to hurt in a space that should be safe for them.
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HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm
HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES
i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.
also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3
here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!
also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO
here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig
OK SO
this is after his debut. duh. continuation
i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc
let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD
everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there
so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)
now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?
and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)
and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent
the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove
he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep
and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.
it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed
the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it
not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too
jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.
race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is
round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.
he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace
he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night
but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off
this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.
this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.
i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with
the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath
so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly
the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding
he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview
“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”
“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”
and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question
“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”
and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration
he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race
he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess
“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”
“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”
“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”
“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”
and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside
and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart
and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly
but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera
or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit
but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing
GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY
but Yeah. Them.
i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it
#newsies#livesies#never not read the tags#albert dasilva#ufc fighter al#mma fighter al#racetrack higgins#jack kelly#ralbert#spam ralbert gang#ralbert ralbert ralbert#chandler screams about ralbert#chandler out of context#chandler’s ✨losing it✨#chandler.exe has stopped working#chandler’s an idiot sorry y’all#causing chaos with chandler#shut up chandler#nO#tw violence#tw fighting#tw blood#tw swearing
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this is...probably not going to be a popular post, but i feel like it needs to be said. and there’s no easy way to say it so...please bear with me.
there is a tl;dr, and the most important paragraphs are marked with ** before them.
people have to stop disparaging men.
no, i don’t mean men who have actively done things to people, no, i don’t mean stop criticizing toxic masculinity, no, i don’t mean there isn’t a historic and current societal imbalance that puts men higher in society than other genders.
what i mean is stop making fun of Men As A Whole for struggling with emotions. stop making fun of men for how they choose to present themselves. stop making fun of men for mental health symptoms. stop making fun of men for literally just being men. “don’t disparage people for things they can’t change” should not be a radical concept.
why do jokes like “good morning to shes and theys only” hurt? why is there Discourse about it? because queer communities have begun to foster this environment where, in an effort to combat societal sexism, misandry is rampant. and yes it hurts people.
it hurts masc aligned trans people. it hurts trans women. it hurts trans men. it hurts cis queer men. it has the ability to hurt anyone who’s questioning their gender.
**before anyone says im making something up, i know so many trans masc people who feel alienated from their friends and communities for being men/male aligned. i know so many who feel unable to talk about their struggles and issues and how they relate to their own gender because of this. i myself can speak to the experience of not knowing how to categorize myself because i am afraid of crossing some invisible line that will make my non-masc friends section me into that “type of person that’s okay to make fun of and mock, doesn’t have real problems” zone. (which by the way, trans masc people being “traitors” is core terf rhetoric.) this is a real thing.
(formatting separated because i think this is the most important paragraph in my post)
and you know what? it also hurts regular cishet men who, this may shock you, also don’t deserve to be shit on for something they can’t change. criticize actions, not who and what someone is.
“you’re really ‘not all men’ing” no im fucking not. it’s ridiculous and insane, in a society that’s been based around misogyny for so long, someone has to say that men have problems too.
**toxic masculinity is the root of a lot of abuse and issues. it also hurts men who suffer from it. anyone here should know what it’s like to have your gender staked on arbitrary things! it’s painful and it’s stressful and it’s difficult! so why the fuck is it a joke or not worth anyone’s time when someone is having trouble with that! cis men included! and if that’s not enough, as i said before, this hurts SO many queer men and women.
and know who it doesn’t affect at all? the shitty garbage cishet men you’re actually talking about. no incel is gonna see your posts and change his ways. but it IS gonna cause nb people, trans men, and trans women, and any men doing their best, to worry about their identity, their presentation, themselves.
and because people will misread this and put in things i never said, this isn’t a call for consideration of awful men, this isn’t telling anyone to reach out to their abusers, or telling anyone that it’s their responsibility to help someone who’s contributing to a toxic environment, this isn’t to say no one has a right to discuss and vent about their trauma or experience the effects of it. all i am asking is for people to have better compassion towards masc people, especially if you are not one or have not experienced that.
if you don’t want to listen to me, try reading this. it’s from a trans woman instead of a trans man, but she’s closeted and can explain this issue very well, and very deeply.
i don’t plan on engaging in discourse about this. it’s a difficult subject for me, and if your only response is dismissive because this is outside your sphere, then congratulations on failing step 1 of building a better world.
tl;dr - you should read it, but the paragraphs marked with stars are most important, and here is a summary if you need it to guide you: misandry (including a lot of jokes) that frequents queer groups and the internet needs to stop because it is harmful to multiple groups of people, including trans men, trans women, and nb people.
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Arranged Beauty ∣ m.yg
this fic is part of the event that hosted by @ / House of Ddaeng network.
y/n thought she is way good with being alone and rejects her parents insist on getting marrying with someone they offered, but soon after, she realizes she is not way good with being alone. contrary, she needs that arrange marriage.
pairing; min yoongi x reader
genre; fluff, angst, arranged marriage!ua, first date!au,
warnings; swearings, mention of sexual association, y/n gets bratty for a second but she’s gonna regret that, soft soft yoongi but also brat, jealous yoongi, they both just stupid,,
rating; pg-15
word count; 8.2 k
a/n; i have no idea what i did. it started as a waaay shorter story, but end like this, asfhas,, hope you’ll love this fic as much as like to write it. im curious about what you’ll think about this, so yes, feedbacks are highly appreaciated!! thank you for reading, lots of love ♡
Twenty-six.
That was the age when your parents started to pressure you to have a decent life. According to them, one can call their life as a decent one, if they are married, but they were also okay with a short time engagement. And when you hit the age of twenty-six, they start to bother you, bombard you with their wills to be grandma and grandpa.
Your mother's daring character even leads herself to offer you some pictures of the men she knows somehow. Lawyers, doctors, and of course the future CEOs of the very important companies.
At the age of twenty-six, you thought they were going crazy or trying to make you go crazy. Of course, you vetoed every man she offered you, even though your mom can be very, very persistent, you handled the situation well. Avoiding them until they get sick of your stubborn attitudes, and they stop keeping their hopes high. Well, your little sister's marriage had helped you with the issue, but either because of this and that, they stopped forcing you.
Even though your parents find it highly pathetic, you finally enjoyed winning the constant fight that was going on for years with them. In your single-roomed apartment, all by yourself, and no one there to heat your cold feet in the coldest days of winter.
And at the age of thirty-two, you start to think a lot. Overworking, and overthinking yourself with the black space in your chest.
The freedom you loved so much led you to stay single, one night stands, and the dates you go to a couple of times aside. Most days, it didn't bother you that much. Being alone and being all alone forever. Seriously, it didn't bother that much. Until you find yourself in the loop where you watch only romantic comedies, paying a great deal of money for the napkins, as you find yourself crying until your throat goes sore.
That's how you found yourself dialing your sister's number, mumbling some bullshit over the phone. Throat sore, eyes puffy and red from all the crying, words falling from your lips, and Eunji finds it too hard to understand what you were talking about. She puts you on speaker, calls for her lovely husband he loves so much, and hoping Hoseok could understand what was going on with you.
''... not wantin' that. Don' want to die alone,'' freshly married couple only manage to pull these words from your mouth, and couldn't clarify the thing you babbled.
Does it sound completely pathetic? Well, if you have the authority, you can always blame the cherry martini. And if you have to be honest, despite you don't want to, it was more like lots of gin side with cherries.
According to what you say to them-- you, of course, couldn't remember what you said. And how much they told your parents, you at the age of thirty-two found yourself in a first meeting. With the man you'll be married.
Arranged marriages weren't your thing, but seeing your friends getting married one by one, having children, and happily married in front of you, basically forced you for doing this. Thirty-two years old so-called modern advertiser gets sick of the loneliness she had and agrees to an arranged marriage. And this is no other person than you.
When Eunji and Hoseok come to visit you and giving you the big news with a wide grin, you didn't think that they would find someone so quickly, but as the rumor says--rumor was no other than your sister--, the very charming neurosurgeon who is only thirty-five couldn't find himself a decent woman to marry. Not to your surprise, your parents get so hyped up with the news, and to your luck, the man--soon after you learn that his name was Yoongi. Min Yoongi-- happened to be the very best friends of Hoseok.
Without wasting any more time, your parents meet with each other on the phone, both women burning with the desire for a grandchild, even though they already have. And the fathers, talking formally with each other, and saying how being single after the thirties is dangerous for one's career. Deciding the time and place for both of you two meet, and even your parents decide what you should wear.
It all feels like you are the head actress in a movie, where your parents forced you to marry the rich man for your family's debt. In all reality, there was no debt or force. Maybe there is a little force, but in the end, you wanted them to find someone for you. When you keep thinking about it, guilt starts to creep towards your chest. Questions with unknown answers fill your mind.
What if the man turns out as a psychopath? What if he has some weird kinks that you can't handle? The more you think everything scares the shit out of you. You cover your face with your palms, you groan while your head falls on the table. How could you be this stupid to agree on what your parents always wanted? Arranged marriage? What time is this? The late seventies?
In the internet age, you really did agree on meeting with the man you probably were going to marry in a small coffee shop that your parents chose, wearing a blue dress that also your parents picked.
Is it too late to go back? What if you leave before he gets here? Probably he doesn't know how you look--as you had no idea about his face or body image. A huge knot sits on your throat, making it hard to swallow your regrets. Not that you were giving lots of crap about someone's look, but what if he is not your type? Is it okay to leave after ten minutes of talk? What if--
''Ih-hım,'' before another ball of questions jerk into your mind, a fruity voice cuts you, ''L/N Y/N?'' while you taking your hands from your face and lifting your head from the table, the comforting fresh odor fills your nostrils even before you see the man. ''Y--yes,''
Between in your slight nods, twinkling your eyelashes while staring at the man in front of you. Thick blonde haired-man eyeing you above, a light smile hangs on his face, square glasses stand under the button nose. Contrary to your dismay, he is looking good. His smile gets wide, hangs his hand in the air, ''I'm Min Yoongi. It's nice to meet you,''
It takes a couple of minutes before you realize that you should greet him the way he did. Even though you try hard not to act like an idiot, you are flummoxed by his sudden appearance. The voice of the chair tumbling to the floor echoes in the shop, causing all the heads to turn towards you when you clumsily get up. ''Oh, I'm so.. sorry,'' you jabbered after your head bumps to the man's when both of you try to fix the chair.
''I'm really sorry,'' you utter in agony and guilt. Probably you look like an idiot, rather than only feeling like it. He smiles and waves his hand like it's nothing after adjusting your chair. ''I'm not going to suffer from it, don't worry,'' he chuckles, eyes staring deeply. Even though he isn't much taller than you, his soft but scanning glares made you feel smaller. He put his hand in his pocket, flexing his shoulders while standing inches away from you. Before your mind works properly and offers him to sit, you keep watching his sight. Eyes wander, settles on the others without landing on you, glancing up to the ceiling.
''Oh my--Please take a seat,'' you plead, gesturing the chair across from the table. His brows raise with your high pitched voice, but the soft smile takes its place without wasting time. He nods, taking his seat in front of you. The reason why you act like this is both caused by how attractive he is, and how nervous you are. Either way, you feel dump while sitting across from him.
After you take your place, long silence arises between you two. So, you take the advance from this silence by scanning him. From head to toe.
He is wearing a dark blue sweater, a black coat on top of it, with black pants. The only colorful thing was his blonde hair, and it surprises how he looks so good with it. One glance and anyone could understand how important he is and the job he does. He is intimidating, contrary to his small smile on the corner of his lips. When your stare meets with him, you understand that he is scanning you the same way you do. Were you looking good? Does the dress look stupid in this weather? Despite his coat and sweater, you were wearing a blue thin dress with black spots. You wonder if the cut on the dress is too low or not. Not that you can do anything about it.
''So, you are a doctor?'' his eyebrows rise with your statement. It was stupid of you, but the bizarre silence only causes you to grow more anxious. Yoongi places his hands on the table, holding his laugh on the back of his throat. He feels how anxious you are, and he enjoys how your expression changes when you think you said something stupid. He finds it cute. He nods and smiles while your face goes pink. ''Neurosurgeon, yes.''
''Cool,'' blinking your lashes, you start to nod in small. You didn't know if he is interested in you or the opposite, so you didn't want to make, or say something weird and scare him away. So, when the waiter came and took your orders, you thanked him mentally. Because you were at the edge of asking how much money he makes, and looking like a total gold digger. Aish... why can't you act like a normal woman for a minute?
''And you?'' the husky voice of the semi-stranger made your heart flinch and gathered all of your attention to himself. You tilt your head and he sees your glazed face. ''What you do for a living?'' he asks one more time. Rather than finding you oddly idiot, he likes the way your cheeks go pink. ''Ah. Work. You mean... my job,'' he nods, the smile bigger now. ''I-I'm working for an advertisement company... yes,'' normally you would find your job highly amusing and cool, but with him, you feel small. Like the job you have was nothing, as he touches brains every day. Oh... you feel like an idiot. A real idiot.
''Oh. That's cool,'' he smiles, nodding his head the same way you did. And he enjoys the way your cheeks blushes after his little tease.
And you couldn't understand why he was acting so... kind. Contrary to all the things you did, which they were very stupid, he didn't mind them. Rather, he looked like he enjoyed them, and this literally made you feel uneasy. It was strange. Yes... strange.
''Really?'' you tilt your brow, ''You think that's cool? Or, are you trying to insult me?'' his eyes went round, blinking them a couple of times.
''Did I sound like that?'' he lifts his hands up, fixing his posture to emphasize and look sincere to you. ''I didn't mean to sound like that. I'm sorry and of course, I am not trying to insult you nor the job you do.'' you nod, expecting his apology. It was your time to enjoy the way he looks dumbfounded.
''Iced americano,'' when the waiter comes with your orders, you hear him release a long breath under his breath. The way he takes a sip from his cup, and not knowing where to look kinda warms your heart, and you feel bad for mocking him, but still, you were having fun with this.
After a couple of minutes of silence, you decide it wasn't fun to mock with him. Instead, it killed the mood and now Yoongi wasn't talking, probably too scared to talk with a psycho like you as you just accused him something he didn't do like some hebete. And the way you found it funny, left its place to regret while you were playing with your mug, chewing inside of your mouth in guilt.
''H-how did you met with... Hoseok?'' yes, you know it is a lame question to ask but the stupid awkwardness was eating you alive, and you want it come to an end.
''College,'' he pressed his lips together, eyes carefully sizes you up as he doesn't want to say something to offend you. And you were sure that was going to be the last thing he said, and probably leave after drinking his coffee in rush. But he surprises you with the sudden giggle. ''In the first year of college, we decided to go to a Carnival and I still don't know why we decided to do it. But in the roller coaster, suddenly someone held my hand and never left it until it stopped--''
''Oh my... don't tell me it was Hoseok!'' you jerk your hand to your lips, very amused by the new information he gives.
''Jackpot.'' he doesn't even try to hold his smile back, nodding his head cutely. ''I had to take care of him for the rest of the night. Because he was so frightened and needed someone.'' both of you start to laugh with the memory of him. Even though you would never think Hoseok would do that, somehow you could imagine him doing that. Somehow that suits him well.
''Yoongi, you gave me the best card ever against him.'' you chuckled, wiping the tears from your eyelids. ''He will feel remorse over setting this meeting,'' your stomach starts to ache a little from the laugh you share with him. And you were glad that he didn't let go of this date and made you laugh like this.
Yoongi waved his hand while leaning to take a sip from his cup, ''He will probably kill me for telling you this.'' the corners of his mouth turned up before he talked again. ''You should protect me from him as I share this with you.'' you exchange looks with him. The playfulness of him surprised you and how he changed the mood so smoothly.
You nod with a smile on the corner of your lips, staring at his eyes. ''Of course. I will.''
After exchanging the memory of your mutual friend, the bleak mood left its place to a warmer one. There were a couple of good jokes, more questions to get to know each other better, and you almost forgot that this was the arranged date and you had so much fun rather than you assume. With the timid glances, leaning each other to hear better, and the way you two get closer in time felt like a real date. Not a date your parents arranged.
Now you know about his love for music, and one could never doubt his passion for it. The way he talks about it causes your heart to hum, seeing how his eyes go all shiny while showing you his carefully made it playlist warmed your chest, you can't lie. Seeing someone getting this enthusiastic about the thing he loves brought the memories of how you liked to paint at one time. Getting all dirty while trying to achieve your goals, nose went numb because of the smell. You loved it.
Somehow, the blonde man finds his way to your heart, and you had no objections to this.
''Okay, tell me yes,'' you tear yourself off from the memories, and adjust your focus on him. Hands up in the air, eyes gleaming in anticipation.
''I will,'' you said in a curious tone, seeing the corners of his mouth turning up, ''If, I know the reason,''
You giggle the way his eyes going round, he looks like you betrayed him. A thing about him always finds its way to make you feel relaxed around him, and it was like you knew him for more than three hours. ''After all the things we share, all the laughter and all these minutes. I thought you would say 'yes', but I guess I'm a fool,''
''Uh, if you are going to be this dramatic, then yes. For what is in your mind,'' you can't ignore the gasp that escaped his mouth, hand wraps his heart, shushing to fix the broken pieces of it. ''We were thinking about treating her with the best chicken wings in the country, but she decides to act rude. Every cloud has a silver lining, huh?'' he pouts, faking an attitude.
''Oh. Pardon me and my bad mouth.'' you decide to continue the game he started. ''From now on, I won't have a second doubt about saying 'yes'. Promise.'' his mouth curved into a smile after you lifted your pinky finger in the air, and without wasting time, he wraps his around yours.
''And tell me more about those chickens,'' you say, stealing a laugh from his chest.
''Oh my--god.'' your hiccup interrupts you while laying yourself on the back of the booth. You lick the sweet chilly from your finger, having a food baby in your stomach never felt this good. It was the best chicken you ever eat, and you almost started to cry after tasting it the first time. The sweet chili sauce and the crispy cover on the chicken wings just blew your mind and took your mouth with it. If you could, you would eat a dozen of them.
''Right!'' Yoongi voices with pleasure, takes another bite to fill his mouth, ''This brings heaven to your mouth. No less.'' your laugh cuts in the middle as a cramp finds its way to your stomach. You really ate too much.
''You were right, but I guess I'm going to faint.'' opening the little packet, you start to clean your fingers with the wet wipe, the sharp smell immediately fills your nostrils. You did enjoy every bite, it wasn't a lie. But you could feel the heaviness on your stomach from all the eating and the drinking. You were over thirty and there was no point worrying about eating too much or drinking beer on the first date.
To be honest, you would worry about this if the date was not with him. But with him, with Yoongi you don't feel the need for acting differently. You like the way you can do whatever you want to do.
''What about another round?'' his eyes gleamed with a mischievous hint. It was triggering the ache in your stomach, and as every sensible human being, you should say no. But the sweet taste lingers on your teeth, numbs your tongue with its savor.
''You are inviting me to sin.'' you wipe the corner of your mouth while trying to lean towards him, but the body feels like a ton. Despite the ache and the handicap on your way to breath, you reveal a big grin. How could you say no while he looks at you with those bright browns? You couldn't. ''And I'm happy to participate in this. Course you need to pay for my hospital expenses,''
He lets out a choked, husky laugh. Holding his stomach while serving you the best gummy smile, and looks deep into your eyes after adjusting his posture. ''Believe me,'' the way he licks his bottom lips just does something to you. Levitates your stomach, sticks your breath on your throat. If someone would ask you, you would gladly accept to watch him sit in front of you. That's something you are sure about. ''You won't regret eating too much of this. No one can.''
He holds his hand up after tearing his eyes from you, calling the waitress for the second round. A grin stuck on his lips, you stupidly believe him. You would believe if he said he is the president of the world, and that was stupid. But you didn't mind, as your heart never filled with this much joy for so long.
With a wiggle in your stomach, you feel heavy on the heart. Overwhelmed by his actions, the way he affects you. The way he has the cutest, heartwarming smile made you angry as he had no right to look like this. With the blonde hair, smart-looking glasses, and the round button nose that you just wanted to boop your finger.
It was enough to catch you on his spell but too much for your poor heart.
You know that you owe a big thanks to Hoseok for arranging this date-- you didn't know what this was, to be honest. Was it a date that he agreed just for fun and not calling you in the morning, or is he thinking this is more serious than a silly date? You didn't even know what or how to think about this. Yes, you agreed to an 'arranged marriage' thing with your parents, but were you going to marry the first man you date? Were you going to decide after one date?
Whether deciding it after the first date, or the first man, you only know one thing. And that is the amount of joy and happiness you feel heavy on your chest. Only watching him while he is eating chicken wings in extreme delight was enough to change the speed of your heartbeats, so you had only one thought. Letting him decide.
Your judgment wouldn't be clear or sensible, you know that as the heat on your chest won't stop growing minute by minute you spend with him.
Letting him decide if this is just a one-time thing he just agreed for his friend's sake, or he would consider marrying you. You didn't know if handing the ball in his hands was being selfish or the contrary, but you just want to enjoy the moment and not overthink it. Or about him.
No lie, you liked him. Maybe even too much for the first date, but screwing this up the last thing you want as you always do. Selfish or not, you choose not to make a decision.
''Can I open my eyes, now?''
Everybody would like a little excitement in their life, as well as you. But you never imagine that excitement would be like this, taking somewhere on your first date with a blindfold. It was much more likely a napkin from the place you ate the chicken wings than a blindfold, but it didn't change the result.
Yoongi decided to take you somewhere you could burn the calories you have been whining about. Probably you wouldn't come up with an idea about the place, but as you were almost walking for almost ten minutes, it should be close. Thinking and trying to guest the destination was useless, as you never came here before.
One second you were worrying about marriage, but now, all that worry turns into losing your lungs. If you could stop being dramatic, you trust Yoongi enough that he wouldn't do such a thing, but would you ever stop? That is trickier than taking away by a blindfold.
You hear Yoongi's sigh, very likely getting sick of your questions, as you never shut up asking questions. But how could you stop exactly? How could you expect him to hold you by the wrist, covering the napkin on your eyes after handling the check and saying he knows how to burn those calories. He is not resembling a creep, but who would do and say such a thing? It is suspicious.
''Okay. You would probably slap me after finding out where we are, and the unnecessary act of cutting your sight,'' he pauses to let a giggle, hands of him leave your waist and wrist, ''Either way, prepare to defeat Y/N,''
Before his fingertips find the hem of the napkin and free your eyes, you collect the latest clues about the place and the thing he said. A couple of boy's voices reach your ears, shooting and directing each other. The very last hints you could get before the lights dazzle your eyes.
''Ow,'' you whispered, covering your eyes to protect them from lights in a reflex.
Yoongi stands there, waiting beside you while you blink your lashes in the cutest way possible, watching your eyes go between him and the basketball court. The corner of his mouth quirked up, enjoying way too much with how you look at him with wide eyes in awe. ''So?'' he holds his arms in the air, makes a circle with his body, and stops after turning his face to yours once again with a proud smile on his lips.
''So?'' you repeat, tilting your brows. Seeing the three boys playing basketball on one of the hoops, the other one is empty, waiting for you two to play on there. There was another couple of people who were sitting on their portable chairs, drinking from their cups, and laughing. It was them and the boys who were too caught up with their game but even thinking to play in front of them made you nervous. It was duskily illuminated, but still, you had worries to play.
''What, too scared to play with me?'' pale blond lifts an eyebrow, seeing the timid look on your eyes, he leans over, brushing his shoulder to yours, ''You know you can't beat me, don't you?'' a sheepish smile stands on his face to tease you. Yoongi didn't know about you too much, yet he could understand pushing your legs would pay.
''Tch, please.'' just the way he thought, your ego beats your anxiety. ''I could crush you with my amazing triple shoots,'' you stick your tongue out, can't help but act like three years old while challenging him. The way you act, causes him to burst into a laugh. When he thinks you can't look cuter than before, you stand in front of him, sticking your tongue out. He must have done something so good to have you in return.
''Well well, then you should show me those 'amazing' shoots,'' while you tilt your brows for the second time today, he leaves you in surprise, turning his back at you and starts to walk away.
''We don't have a ball to play!'' you try to remind him, yelling at his back but he turns around, grin on his face. If he tries to look cool, you know he won't look his butt on the ground because walking backward isn't cool, or a sensible thing to do. ''You think?'' he shouts back, the mischievous glow could be seen from where you stand.
What does 'you think' mean? You don't have a ball to play if he didn't plan this before and take one with himself but to your knowledge, you are not blind. Because one can see the orange ball-- You could go on the debate in your mind if he wasn't talking with the boys you notice before, taking their ball after having a small talk with them.
Yoongi walks over you, bounces the ball, swirling it around his body. Basically showing off, trying to surprise you with the moves he made. You watch as the wind messes with his hair, how he grips the ball, and bounce it like a professional. He is good at what he does, and you could understand that with a glimpse of look, but also you can catch the way his eyes follow the ball, lips curled up with the delight he feels.
You cheer for him when he passes the ball between his legs, without paying it much effort. You didn't know he was this good, as he never mentioned his interest in it, but seeing it with your bare eyes rather than just mentioning is way better. Well, little did he know you haven't shared the same interest with him.
''Okay Jordan, pass me the ball,'' you wave your hand, directing him where to stand after he throws it. He giggles the name you call him, blessing your ears while waiting for you to make a shoot.
It's only been a day, yet you feel like knowing him more than one day, way too comfy around him while talking, eating, or acting. You don't know if this is one of your dreams, where it affects your subconscious because all of the romantic movies you had watched too much in depression. Or simply, this man who makes you do stupid things like eating dozens of chicken wings is just a wizard. And you are affected by one of his spells, can't make proper decisions, and probably he isn't this good looking. It is all because of the spell he did.
His eyes are not this bright, his cheeks are not that cute and tempting you to squeeze them. Or his lips are not that mesmerizing and you only want to taste them every time he smirks just because of the damn spell. You are old enough not to charm by a hair, yet all you want to do is bury your fingers in that velvety fuzz.
''Are you gonna show me those shoots or too scared to move?'' his mouth twisted, pale skin peeking under his sweater and the coat he is wearing, glowing shamelessly. You nod, plastering a smile on your lips, can't get enough of his teasing. Even though you want to see his face after the shoot you are going to, retarding is more enjoyable.
So when you throw the ball with a false effort, causing it to fall inches away from the hoop, you hear the squeaked laugh you never heard before. Apparently, it was too funny for him as he almost kneeled in front of you from laughing, holding his stomach while his shoulders shake. ''Well, we can say that wasn't the amazing one so far, huh?'' he teases while wiping his eyelids. You could offend by his actions if this isn't all an act, and in reality, he is the one who should laugh at.
''Trying again? Okay, I can teach you the right way after that,'' you want to throw the ball to his head, his cockiness amazed you as you bite your lip to hold your laugh behind. The popular neurosurgeon was nowhere to be found when you eyed him. And you like the way he leaves the maturity aside, having fun with you and the time you two spend. You could easily say after spending enough time that he wasn't acting, the laugh that leaves his throat is real, as well as the shine in his eyes. Part of you doesn't want to wreck his mood or turn off the cocky light in his eyes but on the other hand, you desperately want to see his face after you stop acting and shoot a real basket.
You bet the blonde prig won't be expecting you to take an oh so good shoot, and the cunning side of you wants to wipe that smile on his face. You want it so bad and can't help the way your body moves to the right corner, dividing your strength equally to your legs and arms before taking a shoot. With a light jump, you send the ball right into the basket, it takes two turns on the hoop before passing through it. It wasn't the best triple shoot, but you only played it in your free time with your family, yet you know that your body reveals that you played basketball very well. Much to his dismay, it was a perfect basket. You turn your head as you want to see his face, putting your hands on your waist and serving him a big grin. ''How about this one?'' the hint of your laughter can clearly be heard by him, not that you want to hide.
He stares.
And he stares for a long one minute, not talking nor giving you an idea with his expressions. After fixing your posture, your lips quirk in a pout, brows furrowed as you can't understand why he hasn't said anything or did. A knot sits on your stomach, you want to say something but your mouth goes dry with the uncertainty. While the deep silence takes over around you two, finally he shows a feeling on his face.
A line appeared between his brows, a beam flash past in his eyes, and he started to walk over to you.
Was he angry? Because you can throw a ball? Yes, you wanted some reaction, but anger wasn't the quite close expression you expect. With every step he takes, the hair on your body stands on end as you didn't know what to say. So you try to ease the nervousness you felt, ''Not so cocky after seeing this girl can play, huh?'' you mock, pointing yourself with your forefinger, wiggling your brows before he stands in front of you.
Way... way too close.
He stands so close that you could even see the little mole on the left side of his face, right beside his nose placed cutely on his cheek. The tiny whiteness on the same side of his lips, breaking the proportion but adding him another sweet flaw. You even pay attention to his facial line on the side of his nose, only to abstain from his eyes. Abstaining from capture by his lovely, velvety browns. And when he starts to speak, you can smell the chili sauces mixed with the beer he drank.
''Can you wear my coat?'' with a mouth that slowly opens, you stare at him without blinking. He tilts his brows slightly, it was tiny and almost non-visible, but you catch the twitch on his jaw.
''I'm sorry but, what?'' you baffled, obviously not expecting him asking that, and can not put it on logic. Under his bashful stare, you hear the sound when he takes a deep breath between his teeth. Cocking your head aside, you try to evaluate if you are cold or not, but you know that you haven't done anything for him to take as a hint that you are cold. Darting your eyes at him, your stomach flips over after realizing how good he looks under the slight street light that illuminated the court, the shadow of his eyelashes falling on his cheeks, mesmerizing with every blink. ''Y... you want me to wear your coat. And that's why? I'm not cold if this is what you think--''
''It's not. Not because you are cold,'' you watch him slipping his fingers on his hair, ruining the straight strands with a pout. Yoongi opens his mouth, but the weight of his words feels too much, he closes it again. He is thirty-five years old and should be mature enough to press this puberty feeling, and not want to cover you with his coat so no one can see the way your dress moves, expose the skin you covered with the same dress that betrayed you. And also, he knows he is not in the place to tell you what to do, or get jealous the way the others who size you up. But the first time after he gets mature enough, Yoongi can't find control over his emotions. ''I thought... thought that you could feel uncomfortable with the... dress,''
''Oh,'' you bite your bottom lip after getting caught off guard. Not that you are irritated or think it's possible, but is he just jealous, or is this just your mind playing games and causing you to think the impossible one?
''But you don't have to. I mean if you are okay with your dress. You just don't... don't have to wear this.'' bubbles of laughter fills your throat as he stands stunned with wide eyes, 'o' shaped mouth is enough to melt your heart and spread heat to your chest. You bite harder your lip to hold your laugh, bend your head staring your shoes. ''Is it too distracting for you to beat me, Yoongi?'' darting over your eyes at him, you open them wide, rolling his name on your tongue only to tease him more. Getting even closer to his face, you talk in a pout. ''Do you think it's can affect others just the way it does to you?''
An almost unhearable whimper leaves his lips, shaky breath hits your cheek. A shade of embarrassment crept towards his cheekbones, increasing his cuteness. He stares speechless, you could only catch the loud gulp from his throat and you know it is enough of teasing him.
''Okay, I'm admitting.'' taking a step back, you pat his shoulder. ''I'm a little cold, and it looks cozy.'' you lie while pinching his coat. His dull expression slowly fades, the corner of his lips tilt in the shape of a smile. Eye bags puffing up, face lines appear only to puss his soft cheeks on his cheekbones.
You are not going to admit this to him, but the way your heart flinches under your chest, the way his soft smile cuts your breath, and the way your fingers physically pains to touch his cheeks just unbearable to hold on. At first, you only thought that his lips were in a good shape, can be even called cute but right now, they were just tempting. It was almost aching how your feet itch to take a step closer, and closer until your breaths can mix with each other, and the so imagined taste meets with your lips.
''Here,'' he acts, taking his coat off of him swiftly to wrap it around you, and he does gently. Helping you to pass your arms in its sleeve, patting your shoulders after he links each button, as he looks way too pleased with the gummy smile that pinned to his face. ''Better now?'' he asks sincerely, wanting to make sure of your comfort, so you nod in appreciation.
The heat immediately rushes over to your body, you thought you were joking before but after feeling the relaxation on your muscles, you surprise how cold you were. Wearing a dress in this weather without any coat was a big mistake, you noted.
''So, if there is nothing you can object to, can we go on and play? Or, are you too scared?'' he scoffs at your playfulness, tilting a brow. Yoongi does not know how to react the way you wiggle your brows, the way you dare him with the buffoon smile. Luckily, he has another plan on his mind. ''So eager to taste the defeat, huh? All right then, I will give you a lesson.''
''Hah. Bring it on--''
''-But, before you get all moody, I want to do something.'' in return of his sparkling browns, your lips curl into a pout. Not expecting him to cut you off like this, even though he didn't do it without having any kindness. It only takes two seconds for you to realize what he was up to when his palms cover your cheek, timid touches of his fingertips on your skin. Is he going to kiss you in public? In your first time? Should you object? Between trying to ease the chaos on your mind, and understanding if you want this or not, hot breath already stands way too close to your lips. It was not a lie that you were thinking about kissing him a minute ago, but when this happened as a reality, you stand there like a deer in the headlights.
Before you can choke yourself with overthinking, his whisper cuts it. ''Can I?'' he raises his brows, asking for your permission one more time before going for it, making sure of your emotions and thoughts about himself. Eyes of him scan yours pleadingly, as he was trying to emphasize his intentions. You were so nonplussed by what he was up to that you couldn't even move a muscle, only blink hard enough to capture the moment, face turning scarlet with the heat just crept towards. Feeling your heartbeats on your cheeks, under his fingertips. Every loud hammer brought your heart over your mouth, mouth dried completely. But you manage to voice, almost inaudible.
''Please,''
When you met with his lips, it wasn't soft as you expected due to his dried lips, but soon after it changed. After you part your lips to capture his bottom lip between yours, a ball of warmness just explodes. Reaches till your fingertips from your chest, tiny mewl slides by you with the strong rhapsody you have inside.
It was palm pulling, lips trying to deepen the kiss kind of keenness you both felt for learning, acknowledging each other. Soon after one of his hands left your cheek to pull you closer as your fingers weren't enough to do so. The others were long forgotten, it was just you and him. Everywhere was clouded, protecting your intimacy from others.
You were only tasting, knowing, and capturing each other.
When the kiss broke out as both of you needed fresh air in your burning lungs, you were shocked by the way you carried away by your desire. You, probably Yoongi too, was feeling the same way, find this very immature, unwisely but the thing you feel, and wish that he was feeling the same way you do was beyond your imagination. The attraction was between you from the first time you started to bond today, but you could never think that would be this euphoric.
Between heavy breathing, and adjusting the moment you just shared cuts off by his hoarse voice. ''Was this highly good or is it just me?'' you snort at his silliness, slap him by the head before he can react.
''You'll get your answer if you can beat me,'' tearing yourself apart, you take the ball despite his whines. But as he sees you won't step back, he sends hair-raising glares at you.
Soon after, the contest loses its solemnity and turns into something where Yoongi chases you with the ball to throw at you. And you found yourself giggling, running away while screaming in tiny. With a glance at you two, and no one would believe you two for being over thirty but it felt so good to act without caring for anyone. You almost forget the feeling of happiness, cooing from joy, and having someone not minding your bullshits even on day one.
Of course, you accept how the kiss felt 'highly good', holding your palms up in surrender, before laying on the grass. Not that you lost the game, more likely from winning the better prize. The blond neurosurgeon, at age thirty-five was your prize. To be honest, he is the best thing that happened to you in ages without any exaggeration. For all you know is that maybe arranged marriages were not that bad.
Frankly, you wouldn't dare to lie and say you still object it while watching the man beside you. He gave you more than you expected. The comfort, happiness, and tickling bubbles on your chest. And you hope that would last long enough to the day you knew each other like an open book. As you wanted to know and more about him, every little detail, and every tiny mimic he makes.
And you will see that day if you are lucky enough.
''We are out of rice!'' you flinch with the loud voice, take a big sigh at the view you see in the mirror. Lipstick extends along to your right cheek from your lips, as the outcome of hearing the thick voice without any warnings. ''And the last toilet paper just finished!'' tsking audibly, you take the wet tissue to clean the mess you made. While wiping the ruins of the lipstick, you hear the whining voice once more, closer this time.
''We don't have any toothpaste, either. God, why don't we have anything? Aren't you supposed to take care of the grocery this time? It was your turn,'' the man is nothing but in black sweatpants and a white shirt appears, constant grumble on his mouth trying your patience. ''You have lipstick on your cheek,'' he points his face to address where the stain is as you lock your gaze on him by the mirror.
''You don't say,'' lifting the brows you watch him narrowing his eyes, scoffing at your answer. ''And I was thinking why I have wet tissue on my hand. Thank you, babe.'' he rolls his eyes, sighs while ruining his hair. Black hair flies in the air, every pinch falling another direction and it warms your heart. Your husband dyed his hair black from blonde after having a white hair crisis and deciding to dye it for good. Not that you didn't like the blonde hair on him, but black was something different. It gave destructive charisma to him that you adore so much.
It is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
''When you say they'll bring Hoseong and Aera again?'' after finishing the cleaning, you turn to your husband who asks nonchalantly but the light in his eyes says he is happy. ''They'll be here any time soon. Why?''
He shrugs a shoulder, acting as he is not interested. ''Just curios. I'll adjust my appointments so,'' you nod, giggling as you decide to reach him. Leaving your bean bag chair, you take a two-step to wrap your arms around his neck.
Brushing your nose to his, ''You love to hang out with them, don't you?'' you ask, mentioning your nephews. Even before he admits, you already knew that he adores them. Hoseong at nine and Aera at seven years old buck of happiness for Yoongi, and you can see it in his eyes. The way he plays with them, caring for them always puts a light serene in your heart, but you two never mentioned having a child. Soon after you are scared to open it as you are afraid that he doesn't want to have kids, but the love he had for your nephews always confused your mind and heart.
''Well, they are fun to hang out,'' he tears his eyes from you but you catch the attempt to hide the smile he had. Lips forcefully stay flat but gaze full of bubbles. But when you tilt your brows, staring at him with a pout, you break him. ''Okay, okay... I love those chubby kiddos. You know how smart they are, don't you? Aera asked my opinion about Pluto, whether it's a planet or not. Can you believe it?''
''You are so whipped,'' you let out a laugh that wrinkles your eyelids. His enthusiasm over your nephews made your day, a bolt of laughter spilled by your lips over and over again until you managed to ease it. ''such a cute man,'' wiping your tears away from your face cut by his hands when he grabbed yours.
''Y/N, did you... did you ever think about having a child? I know we never talked about this all these years, but I guess... No, I know I want one. Yes, I want us to have a child to raise together.'' his eyes burned with determination. It was enough for you to know he really serious about it. There was nothing for you to obligate it if you look. Both of you get paid well, had a nice home and big enough even for two kids, moreover, both of you love each other so much and you know that you two will love the exact same way if you have a child in this home. ''What do you think?''
Taking a deep breath to ease your thoughts you eyed the man you adored so much. His keenness sparkled in his eyes, waiting for your answer to be the happiest man alive. Even if you wouldn't want a kid in your life, you couldn't break his heart by saying no, but fortunately, you want this as much as him.
''I would love to have a baby who has the same gummy smile you got on there,'' Yoongi, your husband coos after what you said, holding you by the waist and twirls your body with himself. He acts like you just said you are pregnant, but you laugh and kiss him back when his soft one finds your lips. He thanks, swears that he will be the greatest dad and husband for this family.
The ring on the door cuts his words, tearing himself apart from you, he leaves to open the door wiggling his body in great joy. But you believe him. You would believe him even if he hadn't sworn and put his heart on it. He already was the best husband ever, and you had nothing to worry, frighten for. He will be the best dad in this world, as you know because he said so. Just like the time, he said you two will make a good couple after he took you home on your first date. As he said, you took his heart and his last name after four years.
Never regretting for one second on agreeing to go on an arranged date. And you knew that you won't have any other regret in the future, either. Not with the sweetest neurosurgeon you love so much.
#hodevent#houseofddaeng#heartsforbts#bangtanhq#bangtanarmynet#btsgoldnet#suganetwork#mygsnet#btswriterscollective#btswritingcafe#hyunglinenetwork#bts scenarios#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#dylanxmin
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Hey, I've been reading your story for a while, and I'm enjoying it very much. Following the De Villiers has been so fun, and you've inspired me to create my own royal Simblr!
Can you maybe share some tips about what to do with your royals? I'll be posting my family within the next few weeks, and I have already planned out several engagements + events, including visits to parks/schools/hospitals, parties, and news surrounding a royal pregnancy. I've also planned out the first arc. I don't know what else to do, and I've barely started! If you have any tips related to the beginning of your Simblr that you didn't cover in your other post, I would so appreciate them. I want to get all this nailed down *before* posting, so my blog is the best that it can be.
Also, if you have any advice on how to make things as efficient as possible (especially regarding posing sims, editing/writing posts, etc.), I would love that! I want to cut down on time wasted wherever I can.
Thank you!! :-)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 me?!!?!?! ME ??????? omg 🧍♀️ thank u for reading my story 🥺 and AAAAAAAAAAAA your own royal simblr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ill answer everythin under the cut !!!!! spoilers: it got long sorry
first of all, remember we ALL started somewhere. you can look at my first like... fifteen and even MORE posts and they are BAD. oh my gawd idk why i thought they were good, but hey! i learned things from them. you will more than likely change your mind about certain things from the beginning of your blog to who knows, four months from now. don’t focus and worry a lot on ‘perfection’ and setting up ‘high standards’ from the beginning. treat it like a learning curve! this is something we all do for fun, so don’t get stressed a lot on it. you can always change and adapt things and that’s no problem!
i love lists, so im gonna list a few things of advice/tips basing myself on what you said!!!
i personally don't do engagements anymore, so i can't really help you in this regard of even more activities you could do 🧍♀️ what i could recommend for people to get to know your characters' personalities and private lives and grow attached to them, add in BTS posts.
continuing on my BTS’ post thing, they are a GREAT way to show more than what the public sees for your royals. because from a press and public point of view, you don't really know 'what goes on behind closed doors'. they could be all happy in public, but in privatE??!??!!?!?
as i said in my starting out guide, i did have around ~15 drafts done before i started posting. just so i could not stress about “oh my god i dont have any posts for tomorrow”. a LOT of ppl do posts and queue them as they go, and they have MANY posts done and usually they start accumulating and they are MONTHS in advance compared to what they’re currently posting. if this method works for you, you can definitely use it!
please, please please read your dialogue OUT loud. is it possible to say a 2093023902 word sentence without a singular use of punctuation? do people in this age and era really talk this way? also please if possible use correct grammar. just a little pet peeve, it can take a reader out of the immersion your story gives them.
we all have our lil dialogue habits. mine is starting sentences with “oh” and the infamous dash “—”. others use ellipses. just make sure you aren’t overdoing it. for example, doing a sentence like “oh— there you are. i was uhm— looking for you. how—how are you? its—i mean where have you uhm— been? yes—ive—ive been fine. you? i mean— your mom” ....just no 😔 it doesnt read well at ALL
you can always do lil filler posts, dont tell anyone tell you otherwise. post a little simstagram post, a little family portrait, updated portraits post, family hanging out, kids hanging out, etc.
for posing sims, i do try and remember where MOST of my poses are in the ingame list. usually creators’ correctly naming the poses helps a lot. for example i need a Mel Bennet pose; hers are usually ALL in the same spot and have the same lil aqua bg so i can easily find them. sometimes, i dl pose packs VERY specifically for a certain scene. am i gonna use them again? no. so i open the .package file in sims4studio and rename them to “00 for emi scene [rest of the og name” so when i open my game, they are around the top of the list! no more scrolling and i easily know what i need it for.
dont be scared to plan things that are happening MONTHS from now or anything in detail. some ppl dont like planning things in detail, or even dont like planning things AT ALL or things that arent happening say, in over 2 weeks because idk, they get bored. i recommend at LEAST having a list of things that HAVE to happen so you have ‘goals’ and you slowly plan out how you’re gonna get there. at LEAST theres some level of planning there. if you’re posting and PLANNING as you go, there’s gonna be holes. and it’s gonna be obvious.
editing wise, i don’t do much. my reshade does most of the work, i just add in my psd, add text and done! this is easily the fastest thing you will ever do.
if you get inspired by someone else doing, idk, a certain layout for the portraits, them adding little things to their captions, a certain edit, etc. if you want to do something similar and you ARE very much aware you were inspired by them, credit them in the caption. i beg. its free, its the nice thing to do, bc if not its rude.
if you get inspired by a certain storyline someone else did and you notice yours is gonna be similar, go ahead and send them a message to let them know and if they have any tips or feel uncomfortable with you doing this. simply put, if you don’t, you’re gonna look bad. we are all bound to do same storylines, such as assassinations, shooty shooty’s, stalkers, first loves, accidental babies, etc. but what changes is how each person approaches it. no ones gonna do it the same way as you and others. if you CONSCIOUSLY start copying else, stop it. and you could even be unconsciously be inspired by someone else too. it happens! just make sure you are able to look at the bigger picture and realize “hey, i’m doing something wrong”
same thing with dialogue. you like a line someone else said in their story? don’t just... steal it and incorporate it into yours word BY WORD
OVERALL: you can be inspired. give credit where it’s due. and don’t copy because someone else is doing ‘something others like’ and you want others to like your story. no no no !
im adding this AFTER i posted it but, be yourself. in the way you interact with others and send questions, etc. don’t try and copy someone else’s personality because they are liked and essentially absorb them. be yourself and i’m sure a lot of ppl will like you the way you are : D
for my writing dialogue etc, this goes back to my point 8. i use milanote, its free and you get 200 free thingies to use, and i plan out how every single one of my posts is gonna go. so i just have to go ingame and i already know what im gonna do. no thoughts, just taking screenshots. for example, this is how a part of my part 2, chapter 3 posts layout looks like. every square is a post that has what is happening, who is in it, what is gonna be said very vaguely, etc:
11. and the most important tip! don’t compare yourself to others. i did it at the beginning. i think we all did at one point. its not good for you at all. please always remember we all are here for share our lil stories with each other and it’s not easy get a following. you’ll get there and its gonna take time. be patient, be nice!!! and i cant wait to see your story!!!!!!!!!!
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When he break up with you (riddle/leona/idia/ malleus X Mc)
Riddle rosehearts
• You left everything in your hand when you knew riddle called for you, you know...he's more important than anything, you made your way to the dorms as you expected him waiting for you, what could it be? Did he tell his mother about you? Or he's inviting you for a tea party and prepared some cake for you? Soon you will know....
• You knocked the door before getting in, on hearing "come in" you opened the door and walked in with a wide smile, "riddle, you called for me?" You asked with a joyful smile waitng for him to answer, his face had a mixed expression of sadness and worrying, "yes, please take a seat" he pointed to where you can sit and he sat by you not even making an eye contact with you which made you even worried.
• "I told you I'm going to tell mother about you that's right?" Riddle's eyes rised from the ground to your face then, "yes....did she accept the fact I'm being your gf?" You said with a worried smile, he lowered his gazes before he spoke again "no.....she didn't"
• You took riddle's hand into yours still smiling as you spoke " it's ok riddle, she will change her mind, I'm sure!" You tried to look him in face only to see a bitter expression on his face, "she won't and I'm afraid..." he pulled his hands from yours as your heart sink preparing yourself to the worse..
• "We have to break up"
• Time has stopped when you heard those words out of his mouth, he's not saying this is he? You laugh as you couldn't believe this, "are you joking? You're leaving me? Haven't you said you will stay by my side no matter what they said? ANSWER ME!!" you couldn't help it but screamed at him at the end of your words unable to hold your tears anymore.
• "I have no choice...I'm sorry"
• On hearing his words you couldn't handle it anymore, you ran out of the room slamming the door by you, riddle's eyes began to tear, it's harder on him more than you, he was angiry and all against it.....but he has no choice.
• Weeks passed and you were a crying mess, not even attending any lessons or talking to anyone, but in the last few days you began to come back again but this time with a brighter smile than ever, riddle decided to ditch everything and all orders he took to not talk to you anymore and decided to talk to you.
• "(Y/n) i was thinking....i don't want to listen to her orders again....i want to be with you!" Riddle was all determined talking to you, you gave him a smile preparing to speak again but that's when kalim dashed towards you giving you a big hug.
• "Finally found you! Come on, jamil has prepared lunch for us and then we will go in a trip on the magic carpet" kalim held your arm dragging you with him away from riddle before you even speak, he held his arm in sadness as all he could think about was your bright smile when you were with someone else,someone isn't him.....
Leona kingscholar
• "Come again?" You're not sure if you didn't hear him well or he's joking or what is it anymore, is he seriously saying he wants to break up with you or this is one of his jokes...
• "Again, we have to break up" Leona sigh before pushing those heavy words from his mouth, he couldn't handle saying it once so you made him say it twice now,"and that's for?" You tried your best not to seem hurt as you rised an eyebrow questioning.
• "They arranged a marriage to me, they want me to marry a silly princess from a nearby kingdom to make an alliance with this kingdom that's it" leona closed his eyes as he tried his best not to get mad while speaking about them.
• "And you agreed?" You crossed your arms on your chest not liking what you just heard, " they are driving me mad and farena doesn't stop talking about this....they even want me to get engaged with her next holiday!" Leona hide his face with one hand as he spoke.
• "And since when you listen to anyone? Especially farena?" This time you began to get mad , you admit you even wanted to slap him!, "you don't understand anything"
• "Fine...and i don't want to understand, if breaking up is that what you want then you got it...i wish you happiness with someone else!" As stubborn he is you were also stubborn doing your best hiding your feelings..the daggers were staping you in your heart, once you closed the door and took some far steps from his room you begain crying and wailing, you think he didn't hear that? He did and it broke every inch of his loving heart to you, he squeezed his eyes shut, headache was already getting the best of him but breaking your heart was worse than headache.
• That was rough two months on the both of you, him being moody and getting mad at anyone and you for not trusting anyone anymore and not event talking with others, you just decided to keep your feelings for yourself but things can change sometimes.
• Leona saw you more active and all fresh new, did you forget about him that quickly? He moved by your direction as you were in the hall, you were speaking with someone else and laughing it was like you're finally back happy, leona take a hide as he moved closer but he was torn to see that you're talking to lilia! The vice of that lizard?! Why him!? He decided he's going to talk to you about that as he stopped you for a talk.
• "Can i talk to you alone?" It was more like a command not a request, you looked at lilia asking and he nodded and left you alone with a wide smile, "well actually i didn't expect you after being the girlfriend of a prince to become a friend with the lizard's servant I'm impressed!" Liona rised an eyebrow to you as he spoke in a sarcastic tone holding your arm into his grib which you of course didn't like...
• " well i prefer to be with a servant that truly loves me than to be with a prince that threw me away only because he was ordered to! Unfortunately....i thought myself valuable for you....." pulling your hand from his grib you walked away to catch with lilia who was watching over you from afar leaving leona hurt alone standing in the hall...
Idia shroud
• "(Y/n)! You have to decide now, it's either you stay with me forever or go back to your world!" It was the first time idia seem that serious with you, it's not like you're going to your home now since no one found you a way yet so you decided to laugh it off with idia, "idia what do you mean? I'm always here for you!"
• "Not forever! One day you will leave me! And i will go back to be alone again, if you're going to leave then we have to break up right now!" Idia gave you his back as he spoke out, it was the first time you see him like that...."break up?!"
• "Yes! If you're going to leave me then there's no need for me to get attached to someone will leave me at last.....I HATE TEMPORARILY PEOPLE!" idia shouted made your heart jump from it's place, you ran to him to comfort him, you held his arm trying to face him as you tried your best to not seem sad from what he said...he didn't mean it, right?
• "Idia, i will always be by your side as long as I'm here but when it's time to go back i have to....i have a family waiting for me..." you were going to hug him and that's when he pushed you away, "then it's your choice to leave me then....I'm sorry (y/n) we have to break up!"
• "IDIA WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! Are you dumping me for that reason? Was i a game in your hand to toy with and leave it whenever you're tired? If that what you think of me then i will give you what you want and i will leave you...but when you know your fault don't come talk to me!" You shouted at him as you pulled him from his jacket to face your crying ones, you collected your strength to speak again "it was my fault i loved someone like you!" You threw him to the ground, you left him and ran back to your room crying, he was on the floor hugging his knees hiding his face with his hands almost crying, he felt a hand on his shoulder...it was ortho..
• "Nii san....why didn't you tell her the truth?" Ortho looked at idia in sadness as idia burst out into tears hugging his little brother tightly, "i had to do that , it's better if she don't know....when they knew im in love with a normal human they were going to get rid of her...it's all for her good to stay away from me"
• It hurts idia deeply what he said to you and what have you also said to him before you leave, but as long as you're safe then it's going to be ok, but he wasn't ok seeing you playing board games with azul every once in a while and spend time with him....and most importantly your smile that you used to bright up his day with are no longer his, he held his chest tightly crying, it was all for your own good.....
Malleus draconia
• He was worried, not like every time he used to be, he's not that joyful person but at least not by you, you grew more worried as he was avoiding your gazes to him and that's when you decided to speak, "malleus...are you ok?" You looked at him with a questioning expression unable to read his face for the first time.
• He took a deep breath before he looked at you with a serious face, "i think we should break up" you froze for a second not knowing how to react to this sudden decision that he made all alone, " why should we? Have i done something that made you mad at me? Have i said something wrong or that's because of my carefree actions? I'm sorry, i will change it all but Don't leave me!" Your eyes began to tear, you didn't know what you did wrong!
• "Look....it's better if you stay away from me....that's my problem not yours" he looked at you with a frown as he spoke, he seriously want to break up with you? , "have i complained? I accept you with all your problems in all your forms!" You reached your hand to his back as he was facing the wall, what you couldn't see back then the pain into his face, he really doesn't want this....
• "(Y/n) it's all over between us! And....there's another one in homeland that is going to be my partner, one day you will go back to your word and i don't want to be alone anymore"
• "Malleus, have you replaced me?" You cried out you lunge as your tears were running down your face like a waterfall, your crying squeezed his heart , it's not easy for him as well, "i stood by you when no one was here, i never feard you, i loved you from the bottom of my heart...and what i got in reward that you replaced me?!" You held into malleus' back crying even harder, "please tell me you're not doinf this to me, tell me that is not real!"
• And that's when you heard another voice in the room " you're not the appropriate mach with malleus, we already found him the better ones so please calmly leave the place with no more struggling!" Your eyes widened on hearing lilia's words, it was the first time you ever hear him speaking to you in that tone, you left malleus back and took your way out of diasomania.
• Poor malleus stood there, he squeezed his eyes shut as he can't believe what he has done to you, you really were the most kind person towards him and he didn't want all of this to happen...
• "You did the right thing" said lilia before leaving malleus alone into his room..
• Time passed and you stopped hearing about malleus or even want to talk to him again, you were out of class waiting for someone, malleus saw you standing there and without thinking he began to walk towards you, but only to find another blonde guy running towards you, you were so happy to see him, " o mon fleur, sorry if i kept you waiting" it was rook hunt, he took your both hands and placed a Kiss on each one as you giggled on his action he continued, "come on, i will prepare us some tea and then we will do some skin-care routine!!" The happy guy took your hand walking you away from malleus' sight , he deeply wanted to go talk to you again but he will never do that after what happened this day.....
Even a hundred apologies will never cure broken hearts....
#twisted wonderland#twst idia#twisted wonderland idia#twst malleus#twisted wonderland imagines#twst#disney twst#twst wonderland#twst riddle#twst leona#idia shroud#riddle rosehearts#twisted wonderland riddle#leona kingscholar#twisted wonderland leona#twisted wonderland malleus#malleus draconia
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hey since youre talking about christianity, i was wondering if you could answer a question ive been curious about. if god cares about people and if jesus died for our sins, then why does hell exist? and if god cares about us then why did he let so much bad stuff happened in his name, and even cause it, like with the noah’s arch story?
sorry if any of this is wrong ive never read the bible, but ive had bad experiences with christianity in the past and the way you talk about it seems much nicer than the way i know it
I don’t think I can answer this question in a way that doesn’t come across as pretentious or like I’m asking for an argument or just being straight up unsatisfying. But I just am going to try anyway because i'm hoping that maybe this will be comforting or helpful to someone. I’m sorry if this is offensive I am really trying my best, please take this all in the best possible way and be gracious with me
The thing about this ask is that it’s actually a bunch of different questions, and since each of them individually is really hard to answer so I’m going to narrow it down to just one ( im sorry ;-; ) . The one I’ve thought about the most is “Why does God let bad things happen if he loves us?”
When this question first really occurred to me, I was already a believer. So I was already pretty convinced that God exists logically, from the perspective of history, philosophy, science, and my personal experience. I believed in the /existence/ of the God who is represented in the scriptures. (I doubt anyone wants it but I can give you a list of resources if you want to look into any of that.) The struggle for me was whether or not all that evidence held true in the face of this moral dilemma; the problem of evil in the presence of a loving God.
But I just couldn’t turn my back on the concept of a moral grounding in God. I had a philosophy professor tell me that people are mortal and so we shouldn’t grieve them like they’re immortal, that grief is a choice, and that trauma is a choice. I respected her so much, but I just couldn’t accept that. There’s nothing more unsettling to me than suggesting that cruelty and death and suffering are only wrong because you think they are, and not because they’re violating sacred ancient laws. My friends dying, people hurting me, that isn’t just in my head. It’s /real/. They’re really dead, and it really matters. People really did something wrong when they hurt me, and it isn’t my fault for being hurt. It’s their fault for being cruel. And their cruelty is objectively morally wrong.
I realized that if I became an atheist I would have to accept the fact that there isn’t /objectively/ any difference between right and wrong. There isn’t any theoretical “right way” that the world should be. But to me, there is a right way it should be. There is a right way and it was lost because of sin.
It was I guess comforting that Christianity provided the premises I needed to ask a question like this. Evil exists. And love exists. So how can God exist? What a comforting question, in a way. To get to grieve, to be angry, to wonder what’s going on, to want things to be different. It was validating i guess
Don’t get me wrong i was FURIOUS i was so angry. I was so angry and so conflicted I kind of thought I might just like rip apart at my seams but I just felt caught between a rock and a hard place to be either abandoned by God or to not even be able to think about my experiences in a way that felt coherent.
He showed up though. I remember swearing at him, and laying up at night thinking he wasn’t there, I told him I wouldn’t have to have trauma if he would’ve stepped in, that my friends wouldn’t be dead, that he let it happen to me, that he just /witnessed/ it. And man idk he just showed up. He showed up every time. I almost walked away like five times that summer. And every time he sent someone, there was always someone that showed up and talked to me like out of nowhere. Or music, or scripture, or something someone said in passing.
The night that it was really bad was when I realized that the only person who could save me was God and I cried out to him, and I just idk I’ve never been so desperate. I went to church the next day against my will and the sermon felt like it was written for me specifically. I cried through the whole thing.
If God is goodness, then how can I say he isn’t with me and around me constantly? In the sunrise and sunset, in the stars, in flowers, and in kind words. In sermons. In friends and family. In all the coincidences that stopped me from becoming an atheist, all of the answered prayers and the impossibilities. That’s why my side blog is called @in-the-whisper. Because I felt him there, even though it hurt, he was with me in the quiet and in the silence, in his whisper in a thousand different ways.
I was posed this question by someone who was there for me in one of those moments where I almost walked away from God, “Is sufficiency abundant?” I guess I thought it was. Where was God? In the peace that surpasses understanding. In the knowledge that everything is finished, that he died for us, that he didn’t abandon us. That whatever terrible things happen, he was willing to take all of the consequences for that onto himself in the person of Jesus. That one day he will set things right, even though it isn’t right right now.
It comes down to the Gospel (good news, core story of the Christian faith); humanity actively chose to walk away from God in an act of rebellion. We had free will because God created us tenderly to be in a loving relationship with him, and loving relationships must be based on free will and they must be two way. So he let us walk away from him, and away from the sustainer of life our bodies break, our world crumbles, and we die. In order to bridge that gap, he chose to die in our place, so that we could re enter that free will relationship with him if we so choose. He died on the cross, descended into hell, and then in three days he rose from the grave, defeating death. And one day he will return on a white horse to rescue us and to take the world back as his own. If I believed that to be true, then I believed in the greatest intervention in human history that has ever occurred. The God of the Bible isn’t a distant God, "God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him." 1 John 4:9 He did the unthinkable for us.
Living in light of the gospel helped me to understand the way that God is present in my life, my present, past, and in my future. It gave me peace. When Horatio G. Spafford’s two daughters and wife died in a shipwreck, he wrote this,
“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul."
“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blest assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has shed His own blood for my soul.
“My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought. My sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
“And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight The clouds be rolled back as a scroll The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend Even so, it is well with my soul!
“It is well with my soul, it is well, it is well with my soul.”
I don’t have an answer for your question. What I know is that I am willing to rest in the knowledge of my personal experiences and my research that God exists, that he is loving, and that he is powerful, just, and wise. Even the winds and the seas obey him, the mountains are like pebbles to him, thunder rolls at the sound of his voice. He had thought before time began, he gave all knowledge and all wisdom to us.
Why do bad things happen also brings up the question, why do good things happen? Who do we have to thank when we get up in the morning and can see or hear or move or are alive in general? Why are we so blessed as to have two days and not just one? Where do mornings and complexity and beauty and wonder come from? They come from him. Not because we need it, but because he wants to give it to us. Enjoyment, existence, love, laughter, thought, beauty, heartbreak. The world is just as beautiful as it is terrible, and why should it be beautiful? Because he wants it to be that way.
God is so patient. He is so patient and kind and powerful, and he wants to hear your questions. Some of them, like this one, are in my opinion something that you have to talk to him about directly. He gives us thought and logic and reason and wisdom, and he asks for us to engage him. He will answer.
If any believers are reading this, I want you to know that it is enough to cry out to him in pain. It is enough to want to want to believe in him. He would so much rather hear from you in your anger than never hear from you at all. Seek him out, he will find you. He will chase after you.
I bet that he would chase after me, bet my life on it. I might not know the answer, but I am confident enough in what I do know that I’m willing to bet my existence that God will come true on his promises, that he will deliver me, that everything will be okay, that he is bigger than my trauma, and that he will hold me.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”
Isaiah 55:8-13
And I’m holding him to that promise.
#christianity#religion#christianity tw#religion tw#god#grief#grief tw#ask to tag#anon#this is definitely insufficient and im sorry#this is all i have to offer right now#its a hard thing to articulate ig#not mcyt
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hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;
first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut
i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad
im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent
was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)
i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say
its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.
if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug
and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.
so i had to make something that:
1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art
2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”
i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.
Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.
The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.
And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense
Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:
Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.
I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.
But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.
You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.
However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.
I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.
I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives.
If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.
Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.
_
As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this
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Youmayhavebeenexpectingthis👀 Could I maybe get some romantic bsd matchups for the Pm, Ada and The DoC? Im demisexual panromatic- I’m an Aries and an Intp, I’m 5’5 with short dyed red hair and green eyes- with very pale skin- to the point where I have scared a child because they thought I was a vampire- and Im actually very quiet and nervous upon first meeting and it takes a while to get to know me but once you get past that I start to open up more and become more sociable- (1/2)
ifeltthatvampireparttoohard-
but i match you with,,,
Gin Akutagawa !!
gin treasures you sm oml 🥺
when she first realised she liked you she was so nervous and didn’t know how to approach you-
especially since she knew you’re nervous around new people as well, so she started off small by going on missions with you more often and bonding that way :D
but she still didn’t know if she should confess to you until higuchi was hyping her up which gave her the courage 🥺
when you said yes she was so happy- she even shyly asked you for a hug :’)
but she gets so much more sociable around you- like she could talk about anything and everything-
tachihara actually walked past you two one time and didn’t believe that gin was capable of speaking that much shsjsj-
gin loves going on little cute dates with you, like to public gardens as you two sit and eat lunch together
you fell asleep in her lap one time as you two were sitting under a tree and when you woke up you noticed you were wearing a flower crown-
it’s because she stayed up teaching herself how to make them so she could surprise you ehdjsh🥺🥺
she loves you sm and if anyone tries to mess with you she will silently come for their kneecaps 🔨
i feel like gin secretly watches a lot of rom-coms or like the notebook or something so if you two sit down and watch a bad romance movie i feel like she’d be ready to marry you on sight-
Dazai Osamu !!
you definitely saw this coming-
you two get along so well oml-
when he confessed he either did it mid conversation out of nowhere like-
“so i went to pay for my items right? ohbythewayilikeyoualotandiwouldliketotakeyououtsometime- aND I DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY IN MY WALLET-“
or it’s something more sweet like you two staying behind in the office after everyone’s headed home already and as you two are just quietly laughing at some bad joke he made he’ll just grab your hand and run his thumb over your knuckles and whispers that you mean a lot to him and he would love to be able to call you his belladonna 🥺
oH AND ONTO THE PET NAMES NOW-
it’s either belladonna, my love, or random words dazai has put together to sound like a pet name-
“where are you my butter-fudge-christmas-toaster strudel?”
he loves pda and he’s very showy about it since he loves to show you off 😌🤚
but behind closed doors he’s so soft and loving about it- like incredibly gentle
the moment dazai finds out you love flowers your whole house is filled with them- and i mean f i l l e d- you cannot enter the house because it’s just flowers-
but whenever he sees a pretty flower as he’s walking with you he just stares at it for a second before staring back at you before kissing your check and saying “you’re the prettiest flower my gorgeous belladonna”
i don’t think you two have sat down and said “let’s watch a good movie” they’re always the terrible netflix ones (bonus points if it’s the christmas movies on netflix-) 😭😭
you two have so many inside jokes NDNSJS KUNIKIDA GETS SO ANNOYED AT HIM FOR IT-
if he’s planning on doing any form of clownery he’s bringing you along for the ride 😌🤚
wear his coat and he will pop the question right then and there- because i mean he’s got the engagement ring he bought for you in his pocket he’s just waiting for the right moment so 😌🤚
Nikolai Gogol !!
he saw you and thought you had to be the coolest person to have ever walked the earth-
your hair? he loves it. your eyes? he adores them. you in general? he could write 27 different essays all about how much he loves you 😌🤚
i feel like you two would’ve met with you not knowing who he was or what he did for a living
as your relationship progressed he told you about his job but didn’t tell you anything that could be dangerous
not because he didn’t trust you but because he didn’t want to risk anyone trying to hurt you to get information about him and the DoA
this man can make you laugh in .2 seconds it’s honestly impressive-
and that’s his goal, if he’s made you laugh or smile then that’s all he could’ve asked for
when he finds out you like tarot cards as well he’s going to be extremely interested and will bombard you with questions
if you do a tarot card reading for him he’s sWOONING-
i feel like he can’t draw anything other than some rough stick figures but he enjoys it so if he sees you drawing he is going to sit down next to you quietly and draw you two as a stick figure family HDJSJ-
you have sigma pull you aside one day (you’ve only met him like 3 times briefly) and he just tells you to please get him to focus on work instead of talking about you all the time because that’s all he ever does NDNSNS-
you two also have a lot of inside jokes and half the time they make 0 sense to anyone else in the room but you two will just be wheezing and that’s all that matters 😌🤚
isveryintriguedwhenyoumentioned teatimewithterrorists-
i hope you enjoyed rose !! ily 🥺💕 alsonotmeabouttostarttalkingtoyouabouttarotcards-
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