Tumgik
#I wrote this instead of studying :33
toastyliltoasts · 7 months
Text
"I promise"
A/N : Yall I miss the damn SMP so I wrote this .. It has a happy storyline dw dw ..
Warnings : Light swearing (It has 'ass' lmao and some *cough cough* other stuff) , Sort of panic attack but not really ?
Type : ANGST AND FLUFF MOTHERCLUCKERS LES GOOOOO
You try to adjust your baby blue coloured hoodie to 'almost' perfection using a mirror .. Today was the big day .. Your best friend Meme was getting married in less than 3 hours and you still couldnt figure out how to get your hair let alone clothes to look right ..
It was quite a ... fiesta when Meme announced his upcoming marriage to the lovely Wictoria (whom you've only heard of once or twice) .. Fiesta as in Socks refusing to believe Meme got engaged , Blaza and Tbh laughing their asses off and them almost getting sent to the ER just by the glares Meme was sending them (Because if looks could kill , They already dropped dead weeks ago) .. So it was quite obvious that everyone was underprepared for the wedding , Even the groom himself ..
Your job in the wedding being assisting with decorations , You had to get to the venue early and help the boys out with the chairs , the food (which you did not trust them with) and fixing the aisle but firstly you had to look like you could do all that .. After a few moments , You huffed a sigh of relief as you finally got your hair to a presentable sight and you took one last look in the mirror as you dashed off .. You're going to change before the wedding anyway , Might as well not ruin the good outfit ..
°•°•°•°•°
You flick a bead of sweat off your forehead as you looked around the venue , checking the mental checklist one by one ..
Chairs ? Check.
Aisle ? Check.
Flowers ? Check.
Food ? Ch- Well .. Half check ? .. You had to keep Muffin and Nadwe from turning the wedding into a war somehow ..
Your checklist gets interrupted by a sound of your own name and you crane your neck from your spot to see the one and only , Socksfor1 .. He's dressed in his usual spaceman outfit without the helmet ..
"Hey , You're early" You muse while dusting your hands on your already messy jean sleeves ..
"Eh you dont see Meme getting married to a cow everyday" He smirks as you both hug ..
"That for sure .. Meme said she's lovely though" You offer after you both break apart ..
"Yeah yeah .. Is that her ? Wictoria I mean .." Socks asks (after almost calling Meme a woman) , Tipping his head towards the wedding altar ..
"Uh I think so ? I havent been able to talk with her yet except for a few 'Hi's .. You're the one that invited her right ?" You question while your eyebrow travels to your hairline ..
Socks just shrugs while changing the subject ..
"Not to be a killjoy but are you wearing a hoodie and jeans to the wedding ?" He asks with a snicker ..
You immediately acknowledge your current outfit and nudge him in the ribs as payback when he laughs ..
"Of course not , You dumbass .. Says the person who wears an astronaut costume to the wedding and would you rather me wearing some fancy shit but drenched in sweat " You say , playfully rolling your eyes ..
"Ow .. No need to be so mean" He whines with a pout , slightly rubbing the area of impact on his ribs ..
"Yeah yeah you big baby .. I'll go change anyway .." You say while he replies with a 'be back soon please , I'll be bored if my favorite 'dumbass' is gone' to which you stick your tongue out at him ..
It doesnt take you long to change into your outfit , pat down the creases and fix your hair for the second time today .. Planning weddings were hard but as said before , You dont get to see Meme get married to a cow everyday ..
Socks smiles as you leave the changing room and sees your attire .. He'll be lying if he said you didnt look absolutely amazing .. He compliments you when you dramatically twirl to show off and asks you to come with him to get the guests .. You both run around , 'goofing around' being the correct terminology (I mean you worked hard , It was just a small reward) , until Socks sees Oompa and playfully calls him out for not being ready for the wedding while you act mock-offended ..
"Is that even legal" Oompa asks as you three wonder whether its okay to marry a cow ..
"I dont think this is legal" Socks replies with a light laugh .. You , Socks and Oompa share a look of nervousness until you hear Blaza ..
"Heeey Blaza .. Looking good , Looking good" You say as you greet him with a hug ..
"Could say the same to you , brudda" He replies as he ruffles your hair ..
"OH COME ON MAN .. I just fixed this" You cry out as you shield your hair from his wrath while he had the audacity to chuckle ..
"Blaza with the DRIP ?" Socks greets while bumping fists with Blaza ..
"Yeaaah .. Im looking kinda fly for this wedding , Y'know ?" Blaza says confidently while Socks starts to vent to Blaza about Oompa not being prepared at all ..
The wedding venue slowly started buzzing with people over the next hour as you and Socks greeted more guests .. You saw Muffin (With a weapon , might I add) looking at Socks with soulless eyes as Socks , Blaza and Oompa freaked out at being threatened with Muffin's 'weapon' .. You greeted both Muffin and Tbh with a hug (Eh Muffin's not bad at all .. Just has a questionable mentality but dont we all ?) and see Tbh doing some sorta crab dance with Socks and Blaza but just shrug it off ..
And you finally see the groom himself , Wearing a wedding dress .. You and Socks have a laughing fit , almost toppling over the carpet of the aisle itself .. But manage to keep it together long enough to greet Wolfster (Who confessed that he was just in it for the cake) .. And when Meme along with Laff start coming up the aisle , Socks definitely did not shake with silent laughter ..
"Memeee" You drag the last 'e' as you run over to hug him ..
"(Y/NNN)" He mirrors your actions and envelopes you in a hug ..
"You should've told me atleast a month before , You idiot .. I would've made it more presentable" You say flicking him on the forehead ..
"OW .. Im sorry IM SORRY .. That hurt like shit-" He cuts himself off mid-sentence seeing your glare ..
"You should be .. Anyways , Im happy for you" You grumble out reluctantly ..
"Thanks man" Meme says genuinely while patting your shoulder .. And soon you can visibly see the adrenaline start to set in in Meme ..
"Im actually getting married" He says while doing some dance that manage to crack both you and Socks up and also gets Laff to have an inner conflict with himself ..
"Im so happy for you Meme" Socks congratulates while doing a cursed dance himself .. Then Socks proceeds to 'compliment' Meme on how his dress matched his , soulless , eyes ..
Then before the actual wedding begins , Socks nervously realizes (and confesses) that he has infact invited not Wictoria but Bella , her sister .. And shamelessly murders her while you and all the others half-scream (Apparently , It 'had to be done') ..
And Nadwe coincidentally brings the real Wictoria and the wedding finally begins ..
Laff , as the priest , reads them the vows and Meme respectfully replies with an 'I do' to each rite (Even Wictoria responds... Verbally ? Even though Socks claims it could be a no) And halfway through the ceremony Nadwe interrupts the exchange of vows because he has to go to the 'bathroom' while in reality he goes behind a tree and proceeds to play vine boom sounds ..
And they move on from that incident as the time finally comes for the wedded couple to kiss .. Everyone cheers and hoots but your stomach churns .. You're happy for them , Really .. You know you are but something is just off .. Your eyebrows furrow together and your gut just screams at you when Meme nears Wictoria with passion some people only feel once in a lifetime .. Unbeknownst to you , You legs take you to the altar and push both Wictoria and Meme ..
It feels like time is messed up as you hear a sound of something loud followed by your friends' screams .. You feel the impact like bricks to your torso as you hit the ground , hard .. Your lungs feel like someone ran over them with a car .. You can still hear your friends screaming but its all oh-so distant .. All you wanted to do now was sleep for a bit .. I mean , Haven't you earned it ?
Your plans come out as foiled when you feel your arms and shoulder shaking .. Huh ? Definitely not doing that .. You try to focus on nothing but universe was just not having it .. It takes a long while for you to realise that you are being shaken .. Why cant people just leave you alone ?
You can feel your throbbing head being pulled towards something and your arms flailing around something ? Someone ? .. Damn , That must've been one hell of a fall .. Did you hit your head or something ? You must've .. That explains your head feeling like someone just performed surgery on you (Might be Meme , Who knows ?) ..
You lightly hear the far-off voice of the person dearest to you .. Socks ? What the hell was he doing ? Even when you're almost-dead (You guessed you were) he cant leave you alone ? Just why man .. You decide to try to open your eyes to savour him for his attempts atleast one last time ..
You see Socks' usual goofy , happy demeanor overshadowed by one of greif and concern .. You wish for the ringing in your ear to just scram so that you can hear what Socks is oh-so desperately trying to say .. Years of close friendship lead you to believe Socks is trying to tell you to get your shit together and focus (Atleast the latter part) ..
Warning : Small panic attack
You try to do just that and you can hear him trying to tell you to.... Breath ? But you're already breathing ..
You mentally roll your eyes and do so just so you could tell him to shut up .. Surprisingly , The pain in your lungs lessen and lessen the more you breath .. And , accordingly , You see a bit of relief etching on to Socks' face ..
Scene over
"God you scared the shit out of me" Socks whispers dejected ..
"That easy?" You croak out , a broken sentence to cheer him up , to which he offers a half-hearted smile ..
Then after some time you see Meme running over to you with a bit of gauze and some sort of bottle .. His face mirroring one of Socks' own , As if worry was permanently drawn on to his face .. Yet his hands are steady and swift as he cleans your.. head ? You mustve actually hit it or shit .. Well that explai- FUCK THAT HURTS
"FUC-"
Your train of thought gets interrupted as Meme pours the liquid in the bottle onto an area on your head .. Your arms scramble around and not-so graciously holds on to Socks' hand as you grit your teeth after not-so graciously swearing .. Next time a warning would be nice , Yeah ?
After what seemed like decades , Meme wraps your wound with gauze and gives you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder .. You weakly smile to lighten up the mood , making a mental note to not mock Meme's medical degree for atleast a month ..
"You should get some sleep" Socks offers ..
"Mm" You agree while your eyelids already droop ..
After that torture you definitely wanted to sleep so you slowly slip in to slumber , praying to everything to let you have this ..
°•°•°•°•°
You open your eyes to blinding light and immediately regret your actions .. You try to slowly creek open your eyes to minimise the impact and succeed .. You look around to see that you're in some place totally different , Your house ?
You recognize the familiar surroundings .. Bed , desk and windows- These are your ones .. Yet you take one more look around to confirm and see a tired Socks hunched over the bed , with his head on the said furniture , sleeping soundly while gripping on to your hand as if its his lifeline ..
You smiled to yourself as you carefully detached your hand from his , reached over your hand and ran it through his soft curls .. The spaceman awoke with a groan while rubbing his eyes as you retreat your hand to yourself .. Recognition flashed in his tired eyes as he scrambled to straighten up , all sleep gone from him ..
"(Y/N) ?" Socks asks disbelievingly ..
"Sup .. What'd I mi-" You croak out only to get cut off by a bear hug from the man himself ..
"My god I thought you were- dead" He forces out ..
"Me too ? The hell ha-" You start ..
"You fucking jumped on to that altar and hit your head on the steps like the dumbass you are .. Thats what happened" Socks said angrily as if he read your mind .. You let out a condescending sigh ..
"Im sorry .. I just-.. had a bad feeling and didnt know what else to do" You replied in a soft voice , hanging your head on your shoulder ..
"You shouldnt put yourself in last place .. Your life matters as well" Socks whispers , on a different approach which just did more to piss you off other than to see him so worried ..
"What else was I supposed to do ?" You ask quietly , anger slightly showing through ..
"Anything .. Anything else .. You could've atleast told me .. Did you even think of what would've happened if you got hurt ? What would you do then , Huh ?  What the hell am I supposed to do if something bad happens to you ?" Socks frustratingly runs his hand through his messy brunette hair as he shouts the last part which betrays the raw emotion like hurt and worry in his voice .. You place your hand on his hand , The one that isnt messing with his hair right now , and try to calm him down ..
"Im really sorry .. I didnt think that through .. Its dumb , I know" You say while settling on a hug to calm Socks down .. He hugs back immediately and buries his face in your shoulder ..
"Please dont do that shit again" He asks you so quietly that you barely pick it up ..
"I promise"
°•°•°•°•°
YOOOOOOO
2609 words duuuuuudes (Btw 609 *Insert troll face*)
Update : Sadly it is 2662 words :'c
Update : GUESS WHAT ? ITS 2669 >:DDD
Les gooooooo
Im officially a certified writer /j lmao
Anyway , Hope you enjoyed
3 notes · View notes
chososdiscordkitten · 2 months
Text
Just A Taste.
Tumblr media
Synopsis: Gojo wants to taste readers breast milk •⩊•
Pairing: Gojo xFem!Reader Content: some plot, mostly nasty stuff, no penetrative sex, nursing handjob, ADULT NURSING, he tries to convince reader to let him suck a lil sum, gojo being weird, mentions he didn't have a mom, BREASTFEEDING, mommy kink if you squint, PREGNANCY KINK, whiny satoru, overall just a lot of nipple and breast play
Dedicated to: @busyreader17 , my beloved for hyping me up to write this, ty<;33
(a.n) why do I only ever write about gojo being a pregnancy freak? has to be studied. wrote this listening to very dramatic classical music
MDNI
Gojo has always been hard headed, never thinking twice on talking back or starting an argument just to prove he was right. And that little quirk about him only enhanced when his child was born.
Even if you were the one who spent countless hours in the emergency room trying to give birth to his big headed child- Satoru insisted that he knew best for his offspring. And in extension- he knew what was best for you. 
“Formula isn't good enough for my child.” he retorted when you mentioned how painful it was to breastfeed his gnawing child.
And when you'd bring up that you were ready to start working again- “You don't have to work- that's why you have me.” 
Little by little Gojo started dictating most of the aspects of your life. There was little to no resistance from you though- you didn't mind his overbearing fatherly tendencies when it came to protecting his family.
But there was one thing, just one thing you'd complain about if you could.
As stubborn as Satoru was in day to day life- he was equally, if not more stubborn in bed. Especially in one specific area.
Gojo begged. Begged on his knees as he watched you pump. Sitting on the couch and bouncing your knee as his hands held onto your calf, “I just want to taste-” he pouted, eyebrows pinched upwards. 
“Satoru.” you gritted through your teeth- hearing the whirr of the machine on your chest. He sighed as he placed his forehead to your knee, mumbling something about how mean you were to him.
This newfound need to taste the milk from your breasts was mildly irritating, not being able to take your shirt off without his eyes prying- parting his lips before asking again.  
Satoru would be lying if he said that anytime your breasts would leak against his chest midway through fucking- it didn’t take every ounce of strength he had to not trail his lips down to your puffy nipple. 
So, so, very tempting. But he'd refrain from acting on his urges, knowing you'd probably shake him off or tell him to stop completely. So instead of doing it without your permission, he settled on asking you anytime he could. 
At first you thought this was just him wanting to know what it tasted like, but when you offered him a small sip from a cup he said- “If i'm gonna drink it, I want it straight from the source.” to which you said, “I guess you're never gonna taste it then.” before tossing the small sip down the sink. 
He must've asked 3 times a day. Gojo needed it so bad- he would beg on his knees at your feet, looking up at you like an abused puppy that you were being far too cruel to.
And you always said no. 
But, your objections sounded like ‘maybe one day’ to his ears. 
So one very early morning, 4 maybe 5 am- you were standing at the kitchen counter, holding the little pumping machine to your right breast as your face churned with a grimace. Your nipples were sore, from the machine sucking harshly and from how often you had to do it.
You had just started filling one of the little bottles, and as though Gojo knew what you were doing, he walked in. Squinting at you, almost asking what you were doing at this hour- till his eyes landed on your breasts you didn't bother to cover. “Go back to sleep, I'll be done soon.” you muttered in a groggy voice as the whirring woke Satoru up from the hazy state he was in. 
He took a few steps towards you- resting his elbows on the counter as he watched the machine milk you. Jealous that a stupid machine had the right to and he didn't. 
The sun not even breaching the skyline made the room dim and dusky. 
You didn't mind if he watched- but that's all you'd ever grant him. But directly after sex- when his chest would be drippng with the light cream colored liquid that leaked from your breasts while he fucked you- and as he looked down to his sculped body in the bathroom, the sink running on a hand towel as you waited for him to come back to help clean you up.
His fingers couldn't help but swipe at the liquid before placing it on his tongue. The whisper of your taste on his tongue made one thing clear in his mind. If he couldn’t wrap his lips around your nipple and suck till there was nothing left- if you wouldn’t grant him that one favor, the closest thing he had was to fuck you in missionary from now on. Hoping one day he would ask you mid way through- and you’d be too fucked out to say anything but yes.  
True if he really wanted to taste you- he could just reach into the freezer and thaw a bag of the pumped milk to try it. But he didn't just want to taste it- he wanted to feel it fill his mouth directly from the source. How warm it would be as it slid down his throat. And god- from the small tastes he's gotten, it's so sweet. You taste so fucking sweet.
His eyes watched as the plastic bottle filled up with milk, almost hypnotized by the liquid. You winced as the machine sucked at your sore nipple, which only made the cogs in Satoru’s brain start churning with schemes. 
With soft eyes he fluttered his white eyelashes up to you, “Does it hurt?” he whispered, looking at your expression that looked more irritated than pained. You nodded your head slowly, “It feels like when your foot is asleep,” you muttered, “but not the ‘numb’ kind of asleep, like the kind that hurts anytime you move it.” you continued as you closed your eyes, exhausted and very ready to go back to bed. 
Satoru raised himself from the counter, taking steps over to you as you felt his presence loom next to you. “Nd you have to do it all the time too-” he scoffed, playing the sympathy card so you'd think he was on your side. 
He pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder, “They always look so full,”  he murmured against your skin, you hummed in response, agreeing with what he was saying as he wrapped his hand around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “So painful.” he hummed as his hands dared to trace up your bare torso. 
“I can help, y’know.” The tone he said those words sounded sincere- almost as though he was just trying to make this easier for you, you let out a hum in disbelief, “Unless you're a baby who refuses to latch- no you can't.” you mumbled with a groggy voice. 
Your words came out as a retort- but in Gojo’s ears they sounded like a challenge. 
It was true, his child had the same stubborness as Satoru, refusing to eat anything that didn’t come from a plastic bottle. Thus the pumping and the overproduction of milk that was piled high in the freezer by now. You had half the mind to sell it or empty them down the drain, I mean what child is gonna drink that much? Even if it was a Gojo heir- no child drinks that much milk. 
But the thought pained Satoru, it only reminded him of the times where that frozen milk could have been in his mouth rather than in plastic bags. 
Satoru kept a light touch as his hand trailed to the side of your ribs, scooping the bottom of the free breast you hadn’t pumped yet. Feeling the weight in his hand as he lifted it lightly, and you were just tired enough to let him. “They're so heavy.” he whispered in a coo as you blinked your eyes open, fully registering what he was trying to do. 
You furrowed your eyebrows, “Don't be gross, ‘toru.” you spoke in a clearer voice, earning a small laugh to ring into your ear as his hand gently grasped the side of your full breast. “What's gross about wantin’ to help?” He murmured in your ear, his hand keeping a light graze as his pointer finger brushed past your tender nipple, you hissed at the feeling causing Satoru to hum an understanding ‘I know.’ into your ear. 
You couldn't see his face but you were sure he was pleased with himself, “That's all I wanna do.” his words sounded wholehearted. Almost earnest as his large hand held onto your breast with a light touch, “I'll be sooo gentle, I promise.” he closed his eyes feeling your breast fill his palm with ease, “I just wanna help you,” he whispered as he pressed the off button on the little machine, guiding your hand to place it on the counter as he pressed an honest kiss to your ear. 
You knew that filling those little bottles would have taken way too long, then the thought of how much faster it would be if you let him- “Let me help you.” 
Satoru’s silver tongue was never your favorite part of him, you never liked how easy it was for him to hide the truth behind seemingly sincere words. 
His brushing fingertips against your sore nipples didn't help either, his fingers were very, very close to squeezing the suede ring of color around the hardened peak- Satoru wanted to see if small rivulets would spurt out of your nipples if he squeezed. 
You inhaled feeling the warm pads of his fingertip caress at your tender nipple. If Satoru wasn't trying to convince you of something, you'd admit it felt nice. You scoffed, “Don't make it nasty ‘toru-” you caved, sighing with an exhausted tone, feeling his warm palms lift your heavy breasts.
Gojo’s mouth had been salivating from the second he walked into the kitchen, and as you said those words he gulped hard. “Course not~” he mumbled, allowing the truth to seep out in his words. 
And as he guided you to sit onto the couch as you've done plenty of times when you'd pump, he already knew how he wanted to be fed, he had thought about it over and over again. And settled on this position, his back was pressed against the tops of your thighs. His long legs extended onto the couch- unashamed of his cock rising from staring at the cream droplet that threatened to fall from your nipple.
Even if this act was obscene and borderlining on too far- you were grateful he didn't make any teasing remarks on how little it took for him to convince you this time. That and how his mouth would have been filled soon enough, so you wouldn't worry about that. 
Your hand was on the back of his head, fingers filled with lily white hair as he fought back a smile. Only the gleam in his eyes showed you just how excited he was. Satoru’s lips parted as his eyes darted back and forth from your sore nipple up to your face that was warm with embarrassment. All but asking for permission as you watched his bottom lip quiver in anticipation. 
With pinched eyebrows, you guided his head towards your aching breast, Gojo’s lips parted awaiting your puffy nipple. His tongue covered the bottom of his teeth- a low groan rumbled onto your skin as he lightly pressed his parted lips onto the skin around your nipple.
You watched with a grimace look on your face, not knowing why he would offer this- let alone enjoy it. 
Satoru’s tongue circled at your hardening nipple, lapping softly as he tried to keep his promise of being gentle as the essence of the milk lingered on his tongue. A small huff left your lip as he rested his tongue at the bottom of your nipple, protecting it from his pearly teeth. 
His hands rested atop his tummy as you caressed the back of his scalp, you nodded your head as a form of permission, giving Satoru the ‘ok’ that he could start- his lips were slow to start sucking, pulling your nipple further into his mouth with a lactogenic motion from his tongue.
Before now, Satoru wasn't fully sure how to nurse if you let him, he knew it wasn't like just sucking your nipple. But the second he felt the sore apex of your breast press against the roof of his mouth, sucking in as much of your breast as he could, his tongue massaged the bottom of your tit to coax the milk to come out. 
The motion came to him as an instinct, as though nursing was engraved in his marrow from the minute he was pulled into this world. 
It took very little effort to pull milk to the surface. But the moan that reverberated onto your breast from a fat droplet hitting Satoru’s tongue- it was bordering on pornographic. It was as though he saw the pearly gates of heaven when the droplet infiltrated the taste buds of his tongue.
No matter how much fantasizing he did, or any of the ghost-like tastes- nothing. Nothing, could have prepared him for how fucking heavenly you tasted.
Your milk was warm, thick enough to leave a light cast on his tongue as he tried to suckle more liquid from your nipple. Gojo’s mouth was latched onto you in a way you knew it would hurt to pull him off.
Satoru’s gaze threatened to shut as you looked down at him. His head coddled in your hand as he kept faltering eye contact with you. Only making this feel even more salacious than it should have. 
No, this was only supposed to be a way for him to help- a way to remove the aching pressure from your breasts and save some time.
But that look in his eyes, the way his eyebrows were furrowed- almost as though he was sucking your tit in spite. 
That was till a bigger wave of your milk rushed into his mouth, earning an almost anguished whimper to pulse against your skin.
Your eyes squinted trying to figure out if he was exaggerating- only the way his eyes struggled to stay open, the blush across his cheeks and the satisfied smile on the perked corners of his lips, convinced you he was being genuine. 
With every ooze of the prized liquid he suckled from your plump breast, Satoru swallowed. Not wanting any to spill from his lips as you placed your hand on his chest that was threatening to start hyperventilating. Too focused on suckling as much milk as he could to even consider keeping a steady breathing pattern. The warmth of his mouth on your tender nipple was soothing, comforting almost.
Gojo’s eyes were half lidded and hazy- trying his very best not to let them roll to the back of his head as the dulcet milk trickled down his throat. 
Unwillingly a small whimper fled his latched lips as his eyes closed, chest heaving from the taste of you coating his mouth. You huffed a small breath from his greedy tongue sucking harder on your nipple. 
Rubbing your hand on his chest to soothe the little whimpers that rumbled your breast, thankful his eyes were closed when they rolled to the back of his head. His trapped cock was shouting at him for attention, be it instinct or just wanting to relieve the ache- his hand slowly trailed down his tummy, only your eyes were too focused on his seemingly intoxicated expression to notice. 
Your hand holding his head up started rubbing gently at his scalp, seeing frustration form on his delicate features- unknowing why. But you were almost trying to soothe him as whimpers vibrated onto your breast. Watching his eyebrows furrow and the growing blush on his cheeks to deepen as his eyes fluttered open.
Looking up at you from the slightly obstructed view from below, your palm on his chest being able to feel how hard his heart was beating. And as your eyebrows furrowed with a breathy sigh- you watched the familiar look in Satoru’s eyes glimmer past white lashes. 
You inhaled sharply, feeling his tongue trail from massaging the bottom of your nipple to the little mound that provided the milk. Tracing the tip of his tongue on your bud causing you to hiss his name in a warning. 
That's all it took for him to continue suckling on your sore nipple. You were about to rest back onto the couch with a sigh, caressing the back of his head as you felt relief wash over your shoulders, allowing him to take what he needed and then some. 
That was till your eye caught his bicep flexing- and you trailed your eyes down his pale arm parting your lips in shock as you watched his unashamed hand palm himself through his gray sweats. 
You huffed- only it came out in a breathy sigh rather than in the reprimanding tone you meant it to. Satoru only moaned as he heard his name fall from your lips, feeling his mouth suck rougher in order to pull more milk from your heavy breast that threatened to suffocate his nose.
His hand hesitantly removed itself from the stiff bulge of his sweats, landing on your wrist that was on his chest. His hazy cerulean eyes filled with the kind of mist you only see when he's premeditated something long before you knew of it.
Satoru’s fingers wrapped around your wrist as he greedily drank from your nipple, so greedily that the corners of his mouth were threatening to leak the honeyed fluid- he was suckling so much, he couldn't swallow fast enough.  
And as the little droplets stained the sides of Gojo’s jaw, trailing down his pale skin- he led your hand to extend over to his strained bulge. Knowing if you truly were uncomfortable by this, you would've pulled away the second you saw him palming himself.
You inhaled as his hand led you to his cock by your wrist, gasping softly with a tingle on your cheeks from how hard he was. Satoru placed his larger hand atop yours, pressing it onto his painful erection with a whine rippling through your skin. 
You flashed your eyes from the gray fabric that trapped his neglected cock, back to his eyes. Threatening to blink shut as you kept a gentle grasp on his bulge. Even if he was the one in your lap, nursing at your breast in a way that can only be described as voracious. That look on his face was smug, almost as though he was right this entire time and you were the hard headed one.
Satoru trailed his hand onto your forearm, smiling to himself as you started softly palming his prominent bulge. 
Your eyebrows were pinched upwards, trying very, very hard not to shift your thighs beneath his back to relieve the ache forming between them.
You felt bad, like the only reason he was palming himself- almost in a sad way, was because you allowed this to happen. It wasn't guilt- but you wanted to apologize in some way. 
Satoru’s mouth suckled in no pattern, his only goal was to drain every single gush of milk you offered. No matter how fervent he must've looked right now, he didn’t care. As long as he could feel your warmth in his throat- your taste coating the cavern of his mouth- he didn’t care if he looked like a starved man.
You sighed almost in pity as he let out various throaty whimpers, firmening your fingers around the print in his sweats. “Oh ‘toru~” you soothed, knowing how hard he was- it had to be painful. Your cheeks tingling and warm as his hips bucked up into your hand for more friction. 
And as your hand cradled onto the back of his head, you maneuvered the hand on his bulge to free it from its torment. 
For the first time since he latched onto your nipple, his lips parted from your breast with a low moan. The cold morning air hitting his pinkening tip causing him to furrow his eyebrows, but all it took was for the feeling to settle before he attached onto your draining nipple once more.
You didn't hesitate to place your hand onto his base, feeling the light trails of his precum on his shaft from how worked up he was, tempting a gasp to leave his lips, you looked at him.
And as though he was made to do it- Satoru lightly ran his tongue at your budding nipple, lapping up the white sweetness that leaked from your breast. 
You kept a light touch on his cock, his hand on your upper arm before gently resting it on the swell of your other breast. Thinking to himself how rude of him that he was neglecting your other equally tender nipple. 
Satoru lightly thumbed your nipple, feeling light drips wet his thumb. Enticing you to slowly start stroking him, stopping your grasp right before your fingers could roll onto his flushed tip. Knowing he wouldn't last long if you worked over his cockhead. 
The moans that rumbled from Gojo’s throat and onto your sensitive skin were full of desperation and bliss. You watched him in almost pity- trickles of your milk falling from the sides of his lips, making trails of white drip down his cheeks.
It didn’t take long for him to finish draining your breast, somewhere in his mind he knew there was nothing left in your left tit, but that didn't stop him from trying to slurp up any remaining droplets.
Gojo’s cheeks felt like they were boiling on his face, and with one last lap of your nipple, he unlatched from your breast. Huffing softly as his breath tickled your damp nipple, he looked up at you, an amazed and out of breath expression formed on his face as you wiggled your eyebrows. 
It was embarrassing, the way your milk left trails of a light white film on his cheeks, the way he was breathing heavily with his cock in your hand. Vulnerable. 
Satoru saw your flushed face- and to comfort you he raised himself from the tops of your thighs lightly, keeping a massaging hand on your unsucked breast as he pressed his plump lips to yours.
It was filthy- Mouths dancing against each other in pure delirium. Being able to taste yourself on his tongue- on his spit laced with milk. It was like Gojo did that to show you just how exquisite you tasted. Only for your hand to keep its snail pace, avoidant of his crying tip. 
His lips pulled from yours, looking into your eyes and thumbing your weeping white nipple. Soft opened mouth moans coming from his lips as your hand stroked tenderly.
Rare were the times when Satoru was silent during intimacy, usually babbling teasing nonsense. But this time, the carnal look in his eye told you everything you needed to know. His senseless prattling wasn't even a thought in his mind right now, burning beneath his skin was pure and utter hunger. Hunger, to taste you- to drink from you. To nurse, over and over again. 
The one thought that lingered in his mind was to make sure to keep you pregnant- keep you in a state to continue producing the warm comfort he hardly had as a child. 
Gojo licked his bottom lip, mouth salivating as he felt the warm liquid trickle onto his palm. He leaned back slightly, looking down to your swollen nipple rolling between his fingers. Then trailing his gaze to your slow stroking hand, Gojo was sure he had never been so hard in his life till now. 
He licked his lips before cupping the side of your heavy breast in his palm, slowly shifting himself down to align himself with your right breast. Your hand followed the back of his scap, guiding him to latch onto your dripping nipple. 
Satoru opened his mouth, closing his eyes when he felt the skin of your breast fill his mouth again. Running his tongue across your neglected nipple and tasting the essence his fingers had squeezed out. A throaty whine leaving his nose as he started suckling, so enthralled by your taste and the gentle way you stroked him. Keeping his kneading hand on the side of your breast to assist in guiding more milk into his mouth.
Your cheeks were warm, tingling from how lewd he looked at that moment. The little whimpers that came from him didn't help either. 
Happily, Satoru let those unfiltered whines pour from him, if it meant you'd know how much he was enjoying himself. 
And as your hand slightly passed his tip on the upturn, he gasped against you. Almost as a warning, he sucked harder on your sore nipple in return. Gojo let out muffled cries from your hand stroking past his tip, even if you couldn't see it- his eyes were rolled to the back of his head as he suckled instinctively. You looked away from his face- churned with an insatiable greed. 
Looking at his pinkening cock in your hand as the veins on his lower abdomen stood proud beneath his skin. His chest was heaving once more, forced to take heavy inhales through his nose as he felt the knot in his tummy tighten. 
Satoru’s whines started to rumble louder against you, watching an inhale reach down his torso, his tummy caving from how hard he exhaled. He was so close. So fucking close and fighting it at this point. You could see it in his scrunched eyebrows and desperate suckles. 
You lightly scratched your nails onto his scalp, “It’s okay ‘toru,” you sighed softly, gaining his cerulean eyes to open slightly and look up at you. You were flustered sure, but you wanted to assure Satoru that he could cum whenever he liked. He didn't need to hold off for your sake. 
Only when he saw the soft smile on your lips- something deep within him snapped. It didn't click before, even with your hand tenderly stroking him and your tit in his mouth, even as he was nursing directly from your breast. It still didn't click. 
But when you soothed his whimpers, the tender smile you had on your lips as he took and took from you. The nurturing tone you assured him with. That's when it made sense. That's when he realized why he had been longing to help you in this way. 
Before he didn’t really question it- thought it was just something weird he found hot amongst all his other strange fantasies. But now. Now it made sense. 
Your mind was a mess, barely able to process the words that fell from your lips naturally. Gojo’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as you polished his cockhead, his hips bucking up into it in response. You watched as he let go of that final reservation, sucking harshly causing more of your milk to spill from the corners of his lips with frustrated whines. Being able to feel his orgasm tighten in his stomach. 
The hand on your breast was practically milking you, squeezing milk into his mouth rather than his tongue nursing at it, his nose was scrunched as he exhaled a ragged breath through his nose. Your nipple was starting to ache from the vibrating whimpers and moans, and instead of telling him to stop, you raked your fingers through his hair gently. “Shh, I know, I know.” you crooned, keeping a steady pace on his cock as he simmered his whimpers. 
Ever since Satoru told you he had little to no memories of his mother, you knew he had mommy issues. And when he started asking to taste your milk you were hesitant, knowing once that pandora's box was opened there was no use trying to close it again.
Only as you looked down at him, how content and blissful he looked- unlike anything you've ever seen before, you didn't mind if it didn’t close again. 
Satoru parted his eyes, feeling his orgasm slowly slip in his tummy, you watched as his eyes fluttered back to his head- mumbling something in the sound of ‘m’cummi-’ against your skin as you sped up your pace. His hips twitching up into your hand as you jerked him quickly, his lungs could barely handle how little air he was inhaling, his brain fuzzy as he slurped and lapped at your nipple. 
Gojo saw stars as you stroked him past the pinnacle you worked him up, his eyes squinted harshly as his lips unlatched from your breast, throaty groans mixed with whines fell from his lips as his orgasm oozed over your hand. When your thumb caressed the opening on his tip, his cock spurted out another pump of his cum with a whine. 
As you helped work through his orgasm, smaller pumps of his seed assisted in the wet strokes you gave him, Satoru latched back onto your breast with a content sigh, needing to drain as much as he could, his cock slowly softening in your hand. 
And as he drank the rest of your milk you rested your hand on his lower belly, waiting for him to finish taking what he needed. His mouth wasn’t suckling as frantically nor hurried as before. You relished in the warmth his lips provided with a sigh, closing your eyes as the sun started rising. Being able to see the light through your closed eyes. 
When Satoru couldn't taste any more milk coming from your drained breast, he hesitantly pulled away. Resting his head in your hand as he looked up to the ceiling hazily, milk drunk as your breasts obstructed his view.
He inhaled, “Throw away that stupid machine.” you sighed, knowing he’s hated the breast pump since he saw you use it for the first time. 
“What am I gonna do when you're not around?” you murmured, thinking of a world where you wouldn't have access to a pump. 
“Call me and I'll find you.” 
You let out a small laugh. Leaning your back onto the couch as Satoru setted on your hand. “So fucking weird.” You murmured, hearing him let out a smiley breath. 
Satoru sat up, turning to you with an endearing gaze, “Only cause I like you soooo much.” he claimed, pressing a kiss onto your temple before standing. Reaching out for your hand, ignoring the mess on his tummy, pulling you to stand as he led you to the master bathroom. 
“What do you want for breakfast?” you muttered behind him, watching him halt his steps and looking back at you, “What?” he asked with a smug smile and creased eyebrows. 
You furrowed your eyebrows, “...Breakfast?” not understanding what was confusing about the question. 
Satoru scoffed, “What for? You just fed me.” he spoke sweetly, watching the grimace on your face churn with an appalled ‘ugh!’ as you snapped your hand away from his. You scoffed as he reached for your hand again, pulling you into his arms. Peppering kisses over your features as you groaned.
“You’re so nasty.” you scoffed as he stepped forward, leading you into the bathroom with various kisses on your cheeks. 
You were sure this little activity Satoru found so much attraction in, would make its way into your daily routine. Only you didn't mind it as much as you thought you would.
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
writing this added 3 years to my life dead ass.
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
astraystayyh · 1 year
Text
Conversations with Minho
or what i imagine dating Minho would be like (very fluffy and soft). I'm thinking of making this a series for all the boys, let me know if you'd like that!! :)
warnings: some curse words, brief talk about kids and being a parent.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback <33
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Are those flowers for me?", you squeal when Minho enters the living room, a huge bouquet of baby's breath in his hands. 
"No, they are for the neighbor next door", he smirks and you swat his arm playfully, before grabbing the dainty white flowers from him. 
"What's the occasion, baby?", you question as you carefully place the bouquet in a vase filled with water. 
"They were on discount", he winks and you roll your eyes, humming a "sure sure" under your breath.
When you're done, you skip toward Minho who was watching you- a soft smile on his face. You lace your hands around his neck, and he holds your waist; his thumbs swiping gently on your exposed sides.
"Sooo... Do you know what baby’s breath represent?", you singsong, a huge grin etched on your face.
It all started when you and Minho went on your first date, and he brought you tulips instead of the classic roses. Intrigued, you searched up their meaning and you found out that tulips are a promise of love.
From that moment, you've taken interest in what each flower means- since Minho seemed to express his feelings through every bouquet he brought you. This is how you came to learn that baby's breath represents everlasting love.
"No idea", he grumbles and you laugh at his blushing cheeks.
"I love you too Minho", you whisper, cradling his face between your hands and peppering it with kisses.
"Who said anything about love?", he jokes, eyes closed as if he was savoring the feel of your lips on him.
"So you don't love me?", you lean back, pouting, and ceasing your merciless attack on his face.
"The flowers are never on discount. Now come here", he holds your jaw gently, beckoning you closer to him and meeting your lips in the softest kiss.
'You don't have to bring me flowers', you wanted to say- his lips tell you everything you need to know.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I'm so tired", you whine, hitting your head repeatedly with a book and Minho laughs, looking up at you from the bed.
"Is my baby tired?", he coos, and you throw a pen at him, "Stop teasing".
"Never mind, deal with your tiredness alone", he says, poking his tongue out at you and you do the same.
You stay silent for a few minutes, before swiveling around in your chair, "Minnie, I'm really tired".
At your words, Minho quickly walks toward you and presses a lingering kiss on your forehead. "Is there anything I can help you with?".
"I doubt you know how to write essays on behaviorism", you pout and he places a hand on his heart in mock offense, "I am very good at writing essays. In fact, I am so good at it you should be glad I'm not studying, and leaving you a chance at succeeding".
"Shut up", you laugh and he smiles softly at you, his hand patting down your hair. "You did well today, my yn".
"Even if I only wrote 50 words for a one thousand words essay?".
"Even then", he smiles, grabbing your hand into his and pulling you up, "Come to bed with me? We'll take a nap and then you'll wake up feeling better and you'll work on your essay".
"Will you wake up with me?", you ask, feeling needy.
"I will", he says, pulling you into the bed with him.
"And will you make me that super delicious ramen only you can make?", you pout, snuggling closer to him and he laughs, "Anything you want".
----------------------------------------------------------
"I’m craving ice cream", you tell Minho while you are walking hand in hand at the park near your apartment. It was a newly established routine between the two of you; whenever he'd come home late, you'd go on a quick walk before sleeping.
"Didn't you eat ice cream yesterday?", he laughs and you glare at him playfully, "fuck you".
"Wouldn't you like that", he smirks and you pinch his side in retort, before shaking his arm like a child, "come onnnn, let's play tag and the loser has to buy the other ice cream".
"Fineee. Start running!”, he grins and you do as he says. Minho chases you around and you can't stop the stream of happy giggles that escape your mouth.
Being with Minho healed your inner child, you've learned. You could be 8 years old with him, playing tag in a deserted park. You could be 10, holding his hand tightly when you go to the dentist. You could be 5, sobbing in his lap as a child does. And he has never judged you for it, not once.
Minho quickly catches you, and this time, you are the one chasing him. You almost reach him when suddenly, your ankle twists and you fall to the ground.
"Fuck", you mutter, tears welling up in your eyes.
"Show me where it hurts", Minho kneels in front of you, speaking softly. 
You turn your palms around, which were all scraped and bloody from softening your blow. He grabs them in his, blowing on them gently to ease the pain.
"Here", he squats down in front of you, "piggyback ride, and I'll buy the ice cream".
You jump on his back, his hands securely holding your thighs. "But I lost. I'll buy it", you say in a quiet tone.
"Touch my arm", he tells you and you do as he says.
"See, now I'm tag. You won".
----------------------------------------------------------
"Yn.... yn....", Minho pokes your side gently and you lean away from him. "I'm sleeping, leave me alone".
"I can't sleep", he whines and you open one eye to look at him. "Sounds like a personal problem".
"You are dating me so my problems are your problems", he states in a matter-of-fact tone and you can't help but chuckle.
"Fine. What do you want me to do?"
"Tell me a story", he grins and you roll your eyes at his words. "You literally know every single thing that has happened in my life".
"I know, but I want to hear them again".
"You aren't bored of my stories?".
"No. I like the sound of your voice".
"Just like?", you tease and he smiles, brushing his nose against yours, "I love the sound of your voice, kitten. My personal lullaby".
You beam at his words before squinting your eyes when you realize what he's doing. Minho knows that you can't say no to him when he's this soft with you.
"You really are a menace", you chuckle lowly and he grins.
"Your menace".
----------------------------------------------------------
"Soonie loves me more", you tell Minho and he snaps his head toward you, frowning.
"You're clinically insane if you believe this".
"Look at him, he's all cuddled up against me and not you".
"Because you have that blanket on that he loves".
"Okay let's test it out", you sit down on all fours and Minho follows suit. "Soonie come to me baby. That's right".
"Nooo, Soonie come to daddy".
"Soonie, here, I have a treat for you", you coo and the cat finally comes running to you. 
"That's not fair you bribed him".
"Just accept that he loves me more", you singsong and Minho crosses his arm in front of his chest, sulking.
You giggle and lean down to whisper in the cat's ears, "Go give some love to dad, he's feeling sad". and as if Soonie understands, he runs to Minho, mewling at his feet. Your boyfriend can't resist- of course- and he scratches his shin, just how Soonie likes it.
You sit down behind Minho, wrapping your hands around his waist and your legs around his torso. "Is this how we'll be with our kids?", you chuckle and Minho smiles mischievously.
"Yes, I hope they say dada first". 
"That's so mean of you", you pout and he laughs, head tipped back, "I really really hope our children are just like you, love". 
"Do you want them to whine all day?", you tease and he nods.
"I want them to have your smart eyes and loud laugh, and your competitive spirit and your gentle soul. This way, anyone who looks at them will see all the reasons why I fell in love with you".
You silently kiss his shoulder; overcome by an emotion too strong to be encapsulated in mere words. Thankfully, you don't always need to talk- he knows.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I made you pudding", you tell Minho as soon as he opens the door to your home. He grins at you, kissing the top of your head softly.
"I tried three different flavors, this way you can tell me which one's your favorite and I will redo it for you", you explain and he looks at you, a huge smile on his face, "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?"
"You did... but say it again", you grin cheekily and he giggles, "I love you".
"I should make you pudding more often", you say as you lead him to the kitchen. You take a spoonful of the first flavor and you feed it to him, before having one yourself.
Minho suddenly pulls you in, kissing you wildly as if the only way he could taste the food is through you. When he pulls away, he smacks his lips in satisfaction, "Mm, strawberry. Delicious".
You chuckle and bring out the second one. This time Minho doesn't take a bite; he waits until you eat to kiss you again. "Chocolate, my favorite", he whispers against your lips and you giggle at his antics.
As soon as you taste the final pudding, Minho's lips come crashing down on yours once again; and when he leans away, he furrows his brow as if in deep thought. "Vanilla might be my top one, but I think I should try it again to be sure".
You can't help but laugh at his words, and he drinks your giggles in; the puddings long forgotten. As he hoists you up the kitchen counter, you think to yourself that no dessert compares to the sweet taste of his kisses.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Good morning", you smile at Minho, eyes still half closed.
"Good morning, kitten", he whispers, his hand gently pushing your hair away from your forehead.
The warm sun rays are pouring through your windows, casting an ethereal glow on Minho's face. You stare in wonder at him- you couldn't believe that this man is yours.
"You are so pretty", you tell him, kissing the tip of his nose.
"Even like this?", he chuckles, gesturing to his untamed hair bed.
"Especially like this".
Minho smiles at you, before sneaking his cold hands under your shirt. You yelp, scooting away from him, "What was that for?".
"You were making me all shy", he mutters under his breath as if he didn't want you to hear it.
"I was making you shy?", you laugh, straddling his lap and tickling him. He's quick to flip you over and now he's the one tickling you until you can't breathe.
"Fine, fine, I'm sorry. I won't make you shy again!"
"Compliment me again and I'll stop", he grins mischievously.
"You are so beautiful", you manage to say through your laughter.
"What else?", he asks still tickling you.
"You are the best dancer I've ever seen!"
"I've heard that one before, be more creative", he chuckles as you squirm under his touch.
"I love who I am when I'm around you", you shout and he stops, caging your body with his arms and looking down at you.
"Do you, now?"
"I do", you say seriously.
Minho leans in to kiss you, but he's stopped by the sound of scratching on the door. He curses under his breath as he stands up and opens the door for the cats. "I love you guys but you really need to learn how to read the room".
"Come back to bed", you giggle and he obliges, lying next to you and bringing your body to his once again. The cats hop on top of your legs and you sigh contently, "I want all of my mornings to be like this".
"I can hypothetically marry you and make this happen".
"Is this your hypothetical proposal?", you ask, turning around to face Minho.
"Are you hypothetically saying yes?"
"I am".
"Then, yes. This is my pre-proposal", Minho smiles, his thumb grazing your cheek softly.
"Why not make it a real one?"
"Do you not want a grand proposal?"
"No", you reply instantly. All you really needed was Minho.
"Okay then", he stands up and walks to his closet, taking out a pretty black box from it. He already bought the ring, you realize.
He then joins you again in bed. The look in his eyes is worth a thousand fireworks and fancy dinners- he is looking at you like you are the only sight he wants to see for the rest of his life.
"The cats love you and they can't be children of divorce", he starts off and you laugh, happy tears already gathering in your eyes.
"And I happen to love you too. I want to love you for the rest of my life". You smile softly, whispering a "me too" to him.
"And I promise that even if we grow old and I start to forget everything around me, I won't forget the way you like your coffee, and what your favorite season is. Even if I forget my name, I won't forget you, yn. Because my heart is yours more than it is mine". 
Tears are falling freely from your eyes now, and you make no effort to stop them. You felt as if you could combust from the amount of love you held for this man. And if someone were to gaze upon your body, they'd find his name written all over you. 
He owned you, just like you owned him. 
"Marry me? Say yes".
As the cats nuzzle against your legs, and your feelings for Minho submerge your being- you are sure that what binds your atoms is your love for him; you can't think of a universe where you'd possibly say no.
3K notes · View notes
Text
the mindset journey
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So hi.
My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.
TLDR:
Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.
Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?
It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.
Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)
Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.
Revision is so powerful, use it.
It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.
And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33
I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.
The Initial Mindset:
I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.
The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.
When Everything Changed:
I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.
For example,
“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”
Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.
“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”
I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.
“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”
First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.
“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”
Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.
“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”
Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.
“Can I manifest-”
Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.
“But-but, what if-”
Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?
I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.
How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!
-cinna
638 notes · View notes
saltymongoose · 9 months
Note
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ohh my goodness. i've been waiting to send these until requests were open bc i wanted to hear ur thoughts.
might be a little silly, but consider: matching outfits. player gathers clothing materials!! and coordinates outfits one day on missions!!!! even makes props!!! hijinks ensue. idk if this had already been disscussed before, but thank you for your time and consideration, ily. you are so cool <<3333!!!!!!! everything you make is so scrumptious!!!!! <33
Omg, thank you, this is so nice of you!!! :D ❤❤❤❤ I love this art so much, you have no idea - the way you portray the boys here fits so well (as always lol). And the memes too omg!! I can't even put it into words to be honest with you, these are just excellent. I do feel slightly bad for that random grunt though, something tells me they'll be sleeping with one eye open after seeing that lmao.
(Also, thank you so much for the compliments too of course, you're far too kind. (˶⸃ ⴰ⸃˶)♡ I could say the same to you btw; your art is always just *chef's kiss* perfection.)
Anyhow, I've actually thought a bit about this scenario before, but this just inspired me, so I wrote some short hcs for you. Hope you like them! <3:
The Player Matches Outfits with Them ft. The Main 3 + 2BDamned
(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior)
- [2BDAMNED] -
2BDamned knew that you had been working on a little project - one that you tried to keep as secret as possible. He was curious, but not enough to encroach on whatever boundary you set regarding it. All he knew from your rather lackadaisical explanation was that he'd be very surprised when he saw. And, well, he was.
The first conscious thought in 2BDamned's head is the question of how you've managed to make a mask that looks so similar to his without borrowing the original. It's really spot on; the seams are in the exact same place, and even if yours has to have been configured differently to fit your more human facial features, the silhouette is exactly the same.
(In the end, he concludes that you simply must've studied his appearance for a while to truly replicate his mask, which makes him feel almost giddy in a way he might've deemed embarrassing before meeting you. But now he's just overcome with happiness that you were obviously interested enough in him to do this.)
He openly praises your skill in sewing, knowing that grunt clothing is ordinarily much too large for you. And you'd notice how the fondness he holds for you seeps into the words, his gaze lingering on you in a way that left you feeling warm.
If you could see underneath his own mask, you'd be able to see the smile he was unable to bite back as well, and the flush that he'd try to will away otherwise. And while he is incredibly impressed (and happy) at what you've managed to put together, he will mention that you could also borrow his actual things once in a while, if you feel so inclined. He just happens to think one of his own jackets might suit you too.
(Of course, he doesn't miss the chance to lean real close to adjust your mask as he says this either, just to fluster you even more. You really have no idea how cute you are, especially looking like this.)
- [DEIMOS] -
A full minute of unintelligible sputtering leaves Deimos' lips the moment he sees your new outfit, and you laugh at the way his face goes bright red. When you said you had a surprise, this was one of the last things he expected.
Luckily for him, he's able to quickly gather his composure, and his excited ramblings turn into smooth flirts that'll leave you blushing instead of him. Expect all sorts of comments about how cute you looked dressed up like him, and praises about how you look even better in his fit than he does.
He insists on taking a ton of pictures together, and you can bet he keeps his favorite in his wallet. (It's one of your faces smushed together as you both grin at the camera, making a heart with your hands.)
He considers this a total power-couple thing; matching shirts are so low-effort compared to this, if anything it shows you perfect you are together. Although there is one thing he'd help you change from your original DIY version of his outfit - those sheet-metal dog tags you made can't compare to the real thing in his opinion, so why don't you just use one of his instead?
Also, don't think he won't take advantage of the fact that you both are the only ones with headsets. Even if yours isn't functioning (because let's be honest, finding one in working condition would be difficult), he'll fix it up quickly just so he can talk more directly to you during missions. And whenever else he wants to, to the irritation of the other three.
- [SANFORD] -
Sanford would consider his outfit to be fairly standard, but he recognized that you were emulating him the moment you slid the sunglasses on. And he couldn't stop the goofy smile from splitting his face when he realized it either, not even attempting to hide his amusement at what you've done.
(He only gets visibly happier when you 'threateningly' brandish your wire hook in his direction. You really put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?)
While Sanford has the amount of restraint in him to not openly brag about you doing this, he can't deny the rush of satisfaction he gets from seeing you in what is an unmistakable homage to him. If you look closely, you'll see him straighten up in pride whenever you come into view. (It's almost like preening, really. If he weren't so flushed, perhaps you'd think it to be more of an ego thing, but no.)
Although, he does show a little bit more concern about some aspects of your outfit. Like your boots, for example; he can't count the number of times he's gotten blisters while breaking in his own, so you should expect him to ask you if you need any plasters (or help bandaging yourself as well).
(If you decide to accept his offer, you'll find yourself questioning whether he ever officially trained as a medic before. He surely has the gentleness befitting of one, shown in how he carefully cleans your wounds and softly applies the ointment, his calloused fingers gently smoothing over the plasters on your Achilles heels afterward. Although you have the slightest suspicion that this tenderness from him is known only to you.)
Sanford will also make it part of his routine to pluck your glasses from your nose and clean them after he does his own. Afterward, he'll slowly lean in when he places them back on you to make sure he doesn't poke you in the eye. Neither of you mention that you could do it yourself, or that his decision to slide them back onto the bridge of your nose himself was highly unnecessary. Maybe he just does it to get a better look at the way you blink up at him and blush, or perhaps it's for some other reason, who's to say? Either way, you have no complaints.
- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -
Your laughs are muffled under Hank's hands as he cups your face, tilting it up to look closely at you. His excitement at your new look is almost palpable; you can easily tell from how he's shaking and hurriedly looking over, his gaze never stopping on one spot for longer than a second. He just wants to take in everything about your new look, is all.
He'll almost insist on doing a mission with you wearing it, not only because the idea sounds fun to him (with his love of carnage and all), but also because it provides an excellent opportunity to rub in everyone else's faces that you chose to copy his outfit. Not theirs.
In a way, he also becomes just a tad more doting than usual. He busies himself with dusting you off, and adjusting your goggles and the lapels of your coat whenever another skirmish is finished. It's his way of checking you over and making sure your hard work wasn't damaged either.
(Plus, he'd hate it if this instance of you copying him was cut short because of some worthless grunts' attempts at harming you.)
You'll catch him sticking closer to you than usual too, and he does so for multiple reasons. First is that he just prefers to be near you whenever he can anyway (the warmth of your presence is one of his favorite things, and it gives ample opportunity to show off around you), but now there's also the fact that your outfit will freak out your enemies. As you can imagine, he enjoys that immensely, and what better way to improve this experience than to have his Player join him?
In a way, Hank also sees this as a sort of 'claim' you've put on yourself too. Wearing your significant other's clothing is kind of a thing with some grunts, and while he knows they aren't really his clothes, there's still some of that same sentiment there that makes him purr just a bit louder whenever he sees you in that new outfit of yours. It tells the world you're his in some way, even if not officially. So why wouldn't he be happy about that?
558 notes · View notes
niki-phoria · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
jihoon my beloved <33
pairing: kdrama!sieun x gn!reader (implied masc reader; no pronouns used) genre: fluff word count: 635
includes: established relationship, affectionate reader, awkward sieun, maybe ooc siuen ?? he deserves a hug
a/n: been obsessed with him lately so i wrote this lol maybe i'll continue this/start taking reqs if ppl want it ?? I'VE NEVER WATCHED THE DRAMA BEFORE PLS DONT HATE ME IF THIS IS REALLY BAD LDSNDSKL
Tumblr media
“sieun,” you smile, gently knocking your shoulder into his as a form of greeting. 
“y/n,” he greets curtly in response as you continue to follow him through the somewhat crowded hallway. sieun glances down momentarily when your hand brushes against his. an unfamiliar feeling of love and warmth crawls through him at the simple gesture despite affection only becoming more commonplace the longer your relationship continues on.
the heavy doors of byeoksan high school slam shut behind you as you continue to follow behind sieun. despite his seeming apathy, you know he appreciates the company. 
your footsteps remain in sync as sieun silently passes an earbud to you before a familiar melody reaches your ears. “your place?”
his only response comes in the form of a short hum in agreement. trees shade the path ahead as you make your way to the bus stop; waiting in silence together for a few minutes. you softly smile when sieun reaches over, intertwining your fingers together.
the duration of the bus ride and subsequent walk up to his apartment is spent in a comforting silence; besides the quiet music playing from sieun’s earbud still securely resting in your ear. his hand doesn’t leave yours until he reaches up to unlock the door. 
you slip off your shoes as soon as you walk inside, following the same routine you’ve had since sieun first agreed to begin studying with you: slip on your designated pair of slides, study with sieun for a few hours, eventually grow tired enough to force him to eat something, and end the day by falling asleep together curled up on the couch; savoring each moment of peace before you’re forced to get up again and repeat the process the next day.
you join sieun at his dining room table as he takes a textbook out of his bag. you slide into the chair across from him, pulling out your own work before handing the earbud back to him. 
the next hour is spent in a comfortable silence; the only sounds audible in sieun’s small apartment are the occasional frustrated sigh that escapes your lips and the rhythmic noise of his pencil scribbling against his notebook paper. 
you find yourself occasionally losing interest in your homework, instead passing the time by admiring your adoring boyfriend. it isn’t long before your staring catches sieun’s attention. his eyes widen and a small blush spreads up his neck to the tips of his ears, making you chuckle.
“sieun,” you smile. 
“y/n.” he refuses to glance up at you in fear of more teasing, though his efforts do little to prevent you from abandoning your assignment in favor of your boyfriend. you set your pencil aside as you reach over, brushing a stray strand of his fringe back into place. sieun’s blush deepens, now spreading across his cheeks to dust his face a light pink. wide eyes meet yours for a few more seconds before he looks back down at the open textbook in front of him. “you should get back to work.”
you stand up, walking around to sieun’s side of the table. he watches with wide eyes as you gently push his chair back before settling yourself in his lap. your knees rest on either side of his hips as your arms reach around his neck. “i could,” you murmur, leaning in closer to him. “but this is way more fun.”
you can nearly feel the heat radiating from sieun’s cheeks as you pull him into a sweet kiss. he hesitantly moves a hand up to brush a strand of hair out of your face before it finally settles on your cheek. you smile against his lips as sieun lets himself momentarily forget about his work; instead pulling you in for another, and another, and another.
403 notes · View notes
bunni-v1 · 1 year
Note
Hello! Can I request malleus x reader angst?
Malleus breaks up with reader because he is afraid he will hurt her after putting her under a sleeping curse during his over blot
<33
Malleus Afraid to Hurt Reader Again After Blot
TW: Poor Attempt at Angst, No real resolution either, Mild swearing, Bunni hasn't actually written something in a while give them a break, please
Info: Short fic; Angst; Malleus x Reader
🍓I... didn't have much thought process when going into this. I just kinda wrote, and I think I did what I wanted to do? I'm not sure, but I did have fun writing it! This is less focused on Malleus and more focused on the readers internal thoughts and how they dealt with it. Idk I don't like Malleus, so I'm not gonna pity the guy lol. Anyway, enjoy lovelies!
Summary: In the title
Malleus had become… distant since his blot. Despite everything having been solved, you ultimately deciding to stay in Twisted Wonderland, and Malleus generally being forgiven for his transgressions he had only seemed to close off more than before. Of course, that made sense. Overblotting was traumatizing, and he had so much weight on his shoulders before and after it happened. The distance was natural. But it had been a month, and he had been avoiding you like the plague.
You tried to be patient, tried to be understanding. With reassurance from Lilia and Silver and even Sebek that he was fine, you were making it through, but… you missed your boyfriend. You were also experiencing pain from the overblot, from multiple overblotts. All you wanted was to heal with your boyfriend, but he was shutting you out. It wasn’t fair.
Ace, Deuce, and Grim agreed — in fact, they seemed more passionate about it than you were, adding fuel to your slowly growing angry fire. Every time you came crying to one of them with your woes, they only seemed to get more and more exhausted and livid. Deuce always tried to comfort you (pathetically), while Ace and Grim ranted on about how you should ‘just break up with him,’ and ‘he doesn’t deserve you if he’s gonna treat you like this.’
You were beginning to agree with them. Weeks of this was weighing on your poor heart and mind, getting in the way of your studies and day-to-day life. The only reason you were social was because Ace wouldn’t let you hole yourself up. ‘Hiding yourself away just means you’re letting him win, you don’t want him to win this one.’
So, with your head held high, you did your best to pretend everything was fine. You went to classes, spent time with your friends, worked at the Monstro Lounge, and continued your regular schedule. Except now, instead of running to Malleus when you were done with your long day, you met up with Ace and spent your time decompressing with him.
Occasionally, you would feel Malleus’ eyes on you. You would turn to give him a smile and a wave, but he would always turn away before you could lift your arm. So, you just stopped. You stopped trying. Your chest still ached, but you couldn’t allow this to be the end of your life anymore. You deserved to be able to function, and Malleus would come to you and talk to you when he decided to grow up.
In Malleus’ eyes, however, this was the final nail in the coffin.
・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・
That morning you received a knock on your door. Grim, Ace, and Deuce were out cold on the floor after one of your bi-weekly, ‘hangouts,’ (which were just sleepovers), so you were expecting Trey or Cater to come to fetch them. When you opened the door, however, you were greeted by Lilia’s little grin. He seemed a bit… off, upset, though you couldn’t place why.
“Lilia…?”
“Good morning little one, I’ve got a letter for you.”
“An invitation... from Malleus…?” you wondered allowed.
“You’ll have to read it and see,” he paused, “please remember you are always welcome to come and speak with me. You are like family, and I am here for you always.”
You said nothing, simply giving him a confused smile and nodding as he walked off. With a sigh, you shut the door and flipped the letter in your hands. Rich black paper with a red wax stamp and your name in pretty gold letters — most definitely from Malleus. You couldn’t stop your heart from leaping in your chest at the revelation. Maybe he would apologize, and things could go back to normal?
You took a few deep breaths to calm your excitement. Be realistic, you reminded yourself. You quietly crept to the kitchen, carefully opening the envelope and unfolding the letter. It was short, less than half the page of Malleus’ gorgeous cursive.
“My Dearest,
Firstly, I must apologize for my absence from your life. I’ve had much to think about after my blot, and I could not think clearly around you. I realized quite a few differences between the two of us. Firstly, you are human, and I am fae. I have a much longer lifespan than you, and am far more powerful than you could imagine. You have a small lifespan and are magic-less. You are easily affected by even weak magical spells, and the toll that my magic has on you is immense. As I saw with my blot, you are fragile and easily harmed. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that you would be safer and happier if we put an end to our relations with each other. You will be well, as I have seen your friends care for you deeply. Please find it in yourself to forgive me for what I have done."
You stared at the letter blankly, your mind struggling to comprehend what you were reading. Malleus had… broken up with you? Via a letter, of all things? Perhaps it could be worse, but a letter was Malleus’ equivalent of magicam… so could it really be? You hadn’t realized you were crying until you saw your tears blurring the ink on the paper.
You didn’t want to cry. You were more angry than sad, but the hurt stung worse in your heart, so you stood at the kitchen counter and sobbed. And you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed over a man who did not have the decency to face you in person. You cried so loud that it woke one of your friends, and you could hear the creaking of the floorboards as they grew closer until you saw the red hair in your blurred vision.
“Yo,” he said awkwardly, “watcha cryin’ about now…?”
You let out a half-hearted ‘nothing,’ but Ace wasn’t having it. He rounded the counter, settling awkwardly at your side. Somehow, Ace was worse than Deuce when it came to comforting you. He noticed the letter on the table and -- with a defeated shrug of your shoulders -- picked it up. You could see him grow angrier and angrier as he read it.
“Who does he think he is, huh,” slamming the letter down onto the counter, “couldn’t even do it in person. What a coward!”
You sniffled, wiping at your face. It was hard to disagree, especially considering the circumstances. 
“He isn’t even worth cryin’ over, so wipe those tears,” he grumbled, “you, me, and the other losers in there are going out and getting your mind off of that dumbass. Go get dressed, and I’ll get them up.”
You nodded, wiping up the rest of your tears and stumbling up to your room to do as you were told. The first thing you did when you arrived was look in the mirror. Your puffy eyes, ruffled hair, and tear streaks down your cheeks, and for what? A guy who ghosted you for weeks on end, who couldn’t even break up with you in person. What a joke.
Ace was right. He isn’t worth crying over. He isn’t worth worrying about anymore. So, why did your heart still ache? It wasn’t fair. Still, you cleaned yourself up, got dressed, and resigned yourself to a life without Malleus. If you could do it before, you could do it for the rest of your life. He would be graduating soon anyway, and you wouldn’t have to see him again after that.
Who needs him anyway? You’ve got your friends to take care of you. 
448 notes · View notes
rootsofdread · 1 year
Note
o-oh, i love me some new X reader blogs!! i really liked your first post and very excited for all the new content <3
could i request Doctor, Ghostface, Julie (or any other Legion member of your liking) and Wesker with a survivor, who is a god looper and treats trials more lika a friendly competition than.. whatever they are for everyone else? like they would full-on run the killer until the gates are open, leave their item and say they r already looking forward for the next trial together 🏃🏃. bonus points, if they also compliment both successful and unsuccessful mindgames mid-chase :D
thank you!! i'll be very happy to provide new content! also this was a funny request to fill out cause i myself have looped a wesker for two gens, so you can say i wrote from experience. but that wesker wasn't as friendly hehe <33
Tumblr media
Herman Carter / The Doctor:
Without a doubt, Herman is confused by your behavior. He's never seen a survivor behave like you -- skillfully running him around and laughing while you do it, giving him a friendly goodbye at the gates after every trial and leaving your items for him. It's perplexing. He'd feel the need to study you, figure out why and how your brain ticks in this kind of way. But he knows he'll have to catch you first.
He takes every chase as a chance to study you as best as he can from a distance: where you decide to go, how you decide to trick him, what you think he'll do to counter him. Chances are he has a few pages of a notebook dedicated to whatever the hell it is that you're doing.
He enjoys the opportunity to run another real experiment, he doesn't get many chances in the realm. He'll do any number of things during chases to see how you'll react and what you do to compensate for it, and will be quietly impressed when you successfully mindgame him.
And when you unsuccessfully mindgame him, instead of hauling you to a hook, he'll take a moment to have you cornered and more closely inspect you. Half-intimidation tactic, half-studying you. He must know your secrets.
In truth, Herman may never understand why you see the trials as more friendly competition rather than a fight for your life…But he does find you fun to study. He'll keep you around.
Tumblr media
Danny Johnson / The Ghostface:
Danny is very much a can of worms. You never really know what'll happen when someone does something out of the ordinary around him. But as he's chasing you and realizes you're running him around for fun, so your teammates can complete gens, he honestly enjoys it. Something new and exciting. He may be unpredictible, but he enjoys a good bit of fun.
He's immediately playing along with you, happily chasing you around pallets and vaults, even hiding around corners or in bushes or underneath windows waiting to scare or grab you when you round/jump them. You're the most fun he's had since coming to the realm, most likely.
He won't hurt you when you accidentally smack right into him; he prefers giving you a chance to correct your mistake and keep the little game going. He's having fun and doesn't want to end it so rudely.
When you mindgame him successfully, though, you may be able to hear him giggling a little bit before running after you again. He may be having a little too much fun. Any other survivors who happen to witness this will be utterly confused.
He's always so happy to wish you goodbye and tell you he's looking forward to your next trial too. He counts the days until he happens upon you while stalking around again.
Tumblr media
Julie Kostenko / The Legion:
Julie is insanely pissed at first. She enjoys a good chase, but not like this. She almost hates that you're having fun and are so carefree during trials - it's not supposed to be fun for anyone but her! She gets the worst tunnel vision whenever you're in a trial together, she sees red every time she gets you in a chase and has to get you on a hook.
She's like this for a while about it, trying her hardest to out-mindgame you and get you down and on a hook. She's quiet when she does; she's not really one for rubbing her victories into people's faces. But she's proud.
She gets over it, eventually. She starts seeing it more of the same way you do: a little friendly competition, at least between the two of you. She starts having more fun chasing you around, and stops caring whether she wins or loses -- she just enjoys having another person to run around having fun with.
When you successfully mindgame her, she laughs about it. It helps her feel like the superior one, whether you're doing it on purpose or not, and she loves that.
She does especially love your little goodbyes and gifts at the gates. She always accepts your items and takes them back with her, and may even use them in personal projects. She feels touched having a new person who likes her so much. It absolutely warms her cold, murderous heart.
Tumblr media
Albert Wesker / The Mastermind:
You know Wesker, he loves his games, and he's delighted to have a survivor who sees the trials the same way he does; as a game. He may be one of the few, if not the only, killer who would get a kick out of a survivor like you. He genuinely has fun in trials with you.
He gets so caught up trying to catch you he often will completely lose trials to you, but he doesn't even get frustrated. He just knows he has to try harder to be able to catch you, because it'll be that much sweeter the next time he does get you.
He's always trying to out-mindgame you at pallets and vault locations, and almost every time he thinks he's finally gotten your patterns down, you surprise him. He finds you a very interesting and entertaining specimen.
When the two of you are closer, he'll compliment your technique when you impress him like that. He's rarely impressed and he thinks you should know when you do it.
…But when he manages to outsmart you, he gets quite smug about it. He may rub it in your face a bit as he carries you to a hook, but it's all in good fun, he's just like that.
He does enjoy your little goodbyes at the gates, and always tells you he's looking forward to your next trial, too. He may even give you a little wave with his ouroboros, if the other survivors left before you.
375 notes · View notes
linonyang · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
BF!SKZ WHEN YOU ARE IN STUDY MODE [hyung line]
read maknae line version here
pairings: hyung line x gender-neutral!reader (written separately per member)
genre: fluff, very light angst, college au
warning: mentions of food and insects
word count: 1.6k words (390-400 words per member)
tag list: @awooghan​​ @hwangsify​​ @xiaoderrrr​ @cosmic-railwayxo​​​
note: i impulsively wrote this since i am on the brink of getting insane bc of this one project i have... so don’t mind me /hj i’ll probably write the second part/maknae line next week when i am done with the mentioned project lol i hope you enjoy this short hc!
© linonyang - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.
Tumblr media
☆ CHAN
since he’s a guy who loves to stay awake all night, it’s no problem for him to join your cramming and procrastinating in projects and exams!
if not, he might be the little devil on your shoulder to stay awake with him, instead of the other way around (which was the original plan) :p 
he’ll do everything to not make your eyes close in the study hall!!!
if you’re into coffee, he’ll bring you a cup of coffee of the biggest size from your favorite cafe nearby
or if you’re feeling like eating something sweet to spike up your sugar a little bit, he might buy all of your favorite candies and desserts (including your favorite cakes and pastries) in small portions
so you can have a little bit of everything :>
chan will instantly embrace you if you’re on the brink of breaking down
you can cry on his shoulder (literally) and have him as your pillow whenever you want to give yourself short breaks after long hours of studying
and he’ll never tell this to you: he really enjoys you staying beside him when you guys do your own things
he just finds it comforting‌…
he loves how you don’t feel bothered when there’s someone beside you (him) when you usually prefer to study alone on a normal day
it’s like he’s an exception, he really loves the idea of it :* he loves to joke that you’re so down bad for him! (let’s be real, he’s not lying </3)
so you don’t have to stress out all on your own, chan’s there with you to feel less pressured and worried about your incoming exams and deadlines!
when chan notices that trouble is slowly surfacing on your face, he’ll talk to you a bit to lower your anxiety
he really doesn’t want you to feel very stressed!!!! he hates seeing any negative expression on your face!!!
he’ll feel sad too when you feel sad :((( 
being the knight in shining armor, as usual, he’s willing to bring you home whenever you feel like doing so <3
(and you can’t stop him from doing that, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night without knowing that you arrived safely at your home or dormitory!)
chan will definitely send a message that you should not extend your studying at home because you did a lot already when you were with him!
☆ MINHO
minho will probably do everything to make you consider studying in his home
so you can not drown in instant food and fast food and have delicious meals cooked by him from time to time instead <33
also, his cats!!!!!!!
he’ll probably bring soonie, doongie, and dori near you so you can have some comfort whenever he’s not in the room with you, whenever he has to cook, take a shower, and all that jazz
and the three cats seem to make your day every time
it’s like minho communicated with them beforehand about how can you study healthily
when you’re sitting and reading the papers on the desk for too long, one cat will block your way and sit on the papers and books
then another will jump on your lap and ask for your love and affection (just begging you to pet them :D)
and one will constantly meow behind you, already on the bed, so you can take a good nap
when you do get to nap with all of minho’s cats on his bed, he always arrives at the wrong time, apparently
you’re asleep! but he cannot help but feel butterflies in his stomach because you look so cute napping with his beloved kitties :’>
as you instructed him before, he’ll wake you up once you reach your time limit
then he’ll join you to study once you’re back at his desk! :D
minho will definitely pet the cats beside you when you’re endlessly typing on your laptop
just so he can look after you because he does not want you to lose track of his so-called “healthy study session” for you
he’ll definitely scold you when he’ll hear your stomach growling in the middle of the night
because “how can you study with no source of energy?!?!”
he always reminds you to not overwork and don’t pass your limits
when you want to take a longer snooze (especially when it shows from your constant yawning and eye rubbing), he will not hesitate to bring all of your materials to the couch outside of his room
and drag you to his bed!!!!! so he can cuddle you all night and whisper all of his manifestations for your good results in school!!! he believes you will ace the exam, and you did so perfectly in all of your tasks!!!
☆ CHANGBIN
this guy…
oh when you ask him to accompany you to the library
he’ll drop all of his things and find you in an instant!
changbin will take your studies seriously as if he’s the one studying :p 
a strict but loving kinda person
he’ll not hesitate to scold you if he sees you sidetracking! lmao </3
but he wouldn’t do that when he knows you’re taking a break
when you feel a little disoriented or frustrated, changbin will give you energy with his powerful hugs!
“my hugs are proven to give you a better mood and more motivation to do whatever you want!!!”
“what if i don’t want to study anymore?”
“that is not included, alright?!”
(he didn’t lie about his hugs making you feel better and energetic again tho ;D there was an immediate effect right when he hugged you tightly for a solid minute)
he does serve as a distraction sometimes because he will lovingly stare at you when he’s at the peak of feeling bored
but when he is dealing with something, changbin will unintentionally bother you by making noises
in conclusion, he gives you a realistic feel of what being a student is
it makes you reassured‌… that how you’re facing academics is considerably normal?
even if changbin did promise you he’ll make sure you’re doing well, it seems like he’s the one who needs some guidance
when he’s aware that he’s not tracking you that frequently anymore, he stops what he’s doing and goes back to staring at you with heart eyes
“how are you doing?” and some good sliding of his water jug on the table to you because you can’t be dehydrated!
he steals your notebook of reminders and asks you if any of the pending deadlines and exams listed should be crossed out already
changbin will drag you out of the library when you have crossed enough pending tasks in your notebook! and take you on a scrumptious dinner date because he knows you deserve it for all the work you’ve done :>
will always pay for your dinner, even if you’re willing to pay
and will probably baby you when he discovers you finished all of your work
“aww let’s order another plate of that food we ordered! you need more good food after that exhausting study time!”
“but my stomach is full already, binnie </3”
☆ HYUNJIN
hyunjin is one worried baby when you tell him you’re in “super study mode”
you refuse to believe that your boyfriend is behaving like a mother
he will visit you and shower you with so much love
it’s like… he wants to lessen your worries :’<
he is willing to do all the chores so you can study without interruptions!!! 
he is also willing to feed you so you don’t have to get out of your seat!!!
hyunjin will always be on the go when you need something
his hugs and kisses? he will drag you to your bed and give you some!
his words of encouragement? he has prepared a long list in his head to give you more determination to finish your work!
will never get out of mom mode until you’re done
whenever you update him on your progress, he always congratulates you as if you won a life-changing award
“i am so proud of you!! :DDD” and clapping loudly
that’s because he knows how grueling studying is, and you should be congratulated for being hardworking
he loves to see you snort and laugh at his antics, even if they’re very exaggerated
and he moves and acts exaggeratingly just so you don’t have any direct source of the negative atmosphere
when he notices that you’re slowly sighing heavier than the previous one, he rushes to your side and looks after you literally
he will endlessly peck your face and stroke your hands with his thumbs
“you are doing so well! don’t say that you barely did anything today! you did so much already and i saw all of it!”
if hyunjin thinks you’ve done so much already, he’ll tell you to stop and invite you to take a walk outside with him
it’s a win-win situation because you get to relax by looking at the view of the park and hyunjin can capture beautiful photos and find inspiration for his paintings :DDD 
plus, that’s the perfect time for hyunjin to lighten up your mood
“i already washed your toilet btw, i saw a cockroach walk towards me while i was scrubbing! ugh, worst experience ever!”
“what did you do?”
“i hit it with a toilet scrubber too lightly, it was still alive so i ran out of the bathroom for a bit :’D heh”
“where the cockroach went to then?!?! i don’t want cockroaches in my home?!”
255 notes · View notes
yxnderebxnny · 9 months
Note
hey hey this is a suggestion but you should write Ticci Toby fluff (when you want too / have motivation ofc) 👀
OOOO HELL YEAH THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR Tysm anon!! <33 CW: Fanon Creepypasta, OOC Toby, tooth rotting fluff ofc <3 (PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I WROTE HIS TICS WRONG, I DON'T HAVE TICS SO I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE HOW THEY WORK, BUT I DID SOME STUDYING-)
Toby huffs, shrugging off his jacket as he opens the door to your shared room. Exhausted was a puny word to describe how he felt. All he wanted was to fall face first on the bed and snore like every drunk uncle at a family gathering. A small smile spread on his lips when he saw you scrolling through your phone, already tucked under the covers. You looked up at him, snickering as you beckoned him over. "Hey, honey!" You giggled, embracing him as he crawled on the bed. He placed his chin onto your shoulder, huffing in content. "Rough day?" You asked, running your fingers through his curly hair. A soft 'Mmm-hmm' came from him as his arms snuck around your waist. You leaned back, letting Toby get more comfortable as he placed his chin on your chest, looking up at you with those pretty brown eyes. His lips were slightly pouted as he kept eye contact with you. You pressed a small kiss to his forehead, giggling when you felt him slightly shiver. His face scrunched up before he huffed, nuzzling against you. He made a small whistle, with you playfully making one after. He chuckled, turning his head so his cheek was pressed against your chest instead. "I didn't mean to do that, y'know." He huffed. "I know. I just think it's fun. It's kind of like birds singing to each other." You grinned. "You're about to be a dead bird, Tweetie." He snickered. "We both know you're too tired for that. Save the murder for tomorrow." You gently kissed the crown of his head, blushing slightly as you felt his arms tighten around you. He wasn't letting go any time soon. <3
173 notes · View notes
lesbianfeminists · 1 year
Text
From heart disease to IUDs: How doctors dismiss women’s pain
Several studies support the claim that gender bias in medicine routinely leads to a denial of pain relief for female patients for a range of health conditions
One woman was told she was being “dramatic” when she pleaded for a brain scan after suffering months of headaches and pounding in her ears. It turned out she had a brain tumor. Another was ignored as she cried out in pain during a 33-hour labor. She was supposed to be getting pain medication through her epidural, but it had fallen out. Dozens of women complained of torturous pain as their vaginal walls were punctured during an egg retrieval process. They were told their pain was normal, but, in actuality, they were getting saline instead of anesthesia. These are just some of the stories of women who say their pain and suffering has been dismissed or misdiagnosed by doctors. Although these are anecdotal reports, a number of studies support the claim that women in pain often are not taken as seriously as men.
This year, the Journal of the American Heart Association reported that women who visited emergency departments with chest pain waited 29 percent longer than men to be evaluated for possible heart attacks. An analysis of 981 emergency room visits showed that women with acute abdominal pain were up to 25 percent less likely than their male counterparts to be treated with powerful opioid painkillers. Another study showed that middle-aged women with chest pain and other symptoms of heart disease were twice as likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness compared with men who had the same symptoms. “I was told I knew too much, that I was working too hard, that I was stressed out, that I was anxious,” said Ilene Ruhoy, a 53-year-old neurologist from Seattle, who had head pain and pounding in her ears. Despite having a medical degree, Ruhoy said she struggled to get doctors to order a brain scan. By the time she got it in 2015, a tennis ball-sized tumor was pushing her brain to one side. She needed surgery, but first, she rushed home, hugged her 11-year-old daughter and wrote her a letter to tell her goodbye.
Ruhoy did not die on the operating table, but her tumor had grown so large it could not be entirely removed. Now, she has several smaller tumors that require radiation treatment. She said many of her female patients have had experiences similar to hers. “They’re not validated with regards to their concerns; they’re gaslit; they’re not understood,” she said. “They feel like no one is listening to them.”
Doubts about women’s pain can affect treatment for a wide range of health issues, including heart problems, stroke, reproductive health, chronic illnesses, adolescent pain and physical pain, among other things, studies show. Research also suggests that women are more sensitive to pain than men and are more likely to express it, so their pain is often seen as an overreaction rather than a reality, said Roger Fillingim, director of the Pain Research and Intervention Center of Excellence at the University of Florida. Fillingim, who co-wrote a review article on sex differences in pain, said there are many possible explanations, including hormones, genetics and even social factors such as gender roles. Regardless, he said, “you treat the pain that the patient has, not the pain that you think the patient should have.”
Women say reproductive health complaints are commonly ignored
Women often cite pain bias around areas of reproductive health, including endometriosis, labor pain and insertion of an intrauterine device, or IUD. When Molly Hill made an appointment at a Connecticut clinic in 2017 to get an IUD, she said she was warned it would be uncomfortable, but she was not prepared for “horrific” pain. Hill, now 27 and living in San Francisco, recalled that during the procedure, she began crying in pain and shouted at the doctor to stop. “We’re almost done,” she said the doctor told her and continued the procedure. “It was full-body, electrifying, knife-stabbing pain,” she said. After it was done, she said she lay sobbing on the table in physical and emotional pain. “It felt violating, too, to have that pain that deep in your core where you feel the most vulnerable.”
Studies consistently show that women who have not experienced vaginal birth have much higher pain during IUD insertion compared with women who have given birth. A Swedish study found that among 224 women who had not given birth, 89 percent reported moderate or severe pain. One in six of the women said the pain was severe. Although numbing agents and local anesthetics are available, they are rarely used.
In some cases, women have sued physicians for ignoring their pain. Dozens of women sued Yale University claiming that during an egg harvesting procedure at its infertility clinic, they were supposed to be receiving the powerful painkiller fentanyl. But some women were getting only diluted pain medication or none at all, according to lawsuits filed in the state Superior Court in Connecticut. Later, the clinic discovered a nurse had been stealing vials of fentanyl and replacing the painkiller with saline solution. The nurse pleaded guilty last year and was sentenced for tampering with the drugs. One of the plaintiffs, Laura Czar, wrote about her experience for Elle magazine, describing it as “a horrible, gut-wrenching pain,” and told a doctor at the time, “I can feel everything you’re doing.” Despite her protests, the doctor continued. Yale said in a statement that it “deeply regrets” the women’s distress and has “reviewed its procedures and made changes to further oversight of pain control and controlled substances.”
Racial disparities in pain management
For Sharee Turpin, the pain of sickle-cell disease sometimes feels like tiny knives slicing her open. Sickle cell disease is an inherited blood disorder that can cause suffering so severe, its attacks are called “pain crises.” But when Turpin, who is Black, experiences a pain crisis, the 34-year-old does not rush to the ER in Rochester, N.Y. Instead, she combs her hair, mists some perfume and slips on her “Sunday best” in hopes that the doctors and nurses won’t peg her as a drug seeker, she said. Sometimes, Turpin gets a care team that understands her pain. Other times, she is treated as a bother. “I’ve even been told ‘shut up’ by a nurse because I was screaming too loud while I was in pain,” she said.
Abundant research shows racial bias in pain treatment. A 2016 study found half of white medical students and residents held at least one false belief about biological differences between Blacks and Whites, and were more likely to underestimate Black patients’ pain. “The management of pain is one of the largest disparities that we see between Black people and White people in the American health-care system,” said Tina Sacks, an associate professor at the University of California at Berkeley and author of “Invisible Visits: Black Middle-Class Women in the American Healthcare System.”
Labeling women “hysterical” or blaming psychological causes
Research shows men in chronic pain tend to be regarded as “stoic” while women are more likely to be considered “emotional” and “hysterical” and accused of “fabricating the pain.” Carol Klay, a 68-year-old from Tampa, had endured years of chronic pain from arthritis, degenerative disk disease and spinal stenosis. During a hospital stay last year, her doctor noted in her medical record that she was crying “hysterically.” Klay said she was crying because she was unable to sit, stand or walk without agony, and the doctor had removed morphine from her cocktail of pain medications. She wonders whether the doctor “would have called me hysterical if I was a man,” she said. Tampa General Hospital said it could not discuss specific patients, but stated: “Patient treatment plans, including medication orders to reduce pain, are prescribed by multi-disciplinary clinical teams.” Research shows women’s physical pain is also often attributed to psychological causes.
Jan Maderios, a 72-year-old Air Force veteran from Chipley, Fla., said the trauma of having pain dismissed by doctors has stayed with her for years. She saw about a dozen doctors in the early 1970s for pelvic pain. When clinicians could not identify the cause of her pain, she was referred to a psychiatrist.
“You start to doubt yourself after so many medical experts tell you there’s nothing wrong with you,” she said. After a hysterectomy in 1976, Maderios learned that fibroid tumors in her uterus had been the source of her pain. She said learning her pain was real — and physical — “made all the difference in the world.”
Why women’s pain complaints often aren’t taken seriously
During a 33-hour labor with her first child in 2011, Anushay Hossain, 42, of D.C., opted for epidural pain relief but said she still felt it all — every contraction, every cramp and every dismissal of her pain by her medical team. The doctor reassured her that she was getting the maximum dosage of pain medication.
In fact, she wasn’t getting any at all. She said her epidural had slipped out. By the time the error was caught, she was shaking uncontrollably and in need of an emergency Caesarean section, she said. “There’s a pain gap, but there’s also a credibility gap,” said Hossain, author of “The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women.” “Women are not believed about their bodies —period.”
This pain gap may stem, in part, from the fact that women have historically been excluded from medical research. It wasn’t until 2016 that the National Institutes of Health (NIH) required sex to be considered as a biological variable in most studies it funded. “We’re making progress,” said David Thomas, special adviser to the director of NIH’s Office of Research on Women’s Health. “But we do have a long way to go because there’s this whole institutional approach to doing research — pain and beyond — where it tends to be male-focused.”
Nearly 95 percent of U.S. medical school students said instruction on sex and gender differences in medicine should be included in curriculums, according to a 2015 survey. But only 43 percent said their curriculum had helped them understand those differences and only 34.5 percent said they felt prepared to manage them in a health-care setting.
“It is changing, but it’s changing very slowly,” said Janice Werbinski, immediate past president of the American Medical Women’s Association and chair of the mentorship committee of the association’s Sex and Gender Health Collaborative.
How women can advocate for better pain care
It took decades to solve the mystery of Maureen Woods’s chronic pain. Woods, 64, of Myersville, Md., started having joint pain in her teens and, over the years, told dozens of doctors her pain was “debilitating,” she said. Some told her it was all in her head. In 2017, she was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a connective tissue disorder often causing loose joints, dislocations and chronic pain. She said women who are not being heard should keep advocating for themselves. “You have to go with your gut — something is wrong and I need to find a doctor who can figure it out,” she said. Marjorie Jenkins, dean of the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville, urged women against feeling pressured to accept an “everything is normal” non-diagnosis. “If your provider does not appear to be listening to you or believing what you’re saying, then you need a new provider,” Jenkins said. “You are the client, you are the customer and you are the owner of your health.”
Women can also take a family member, friend or other support person who can corroborate their stories, said Alyson McGregor, an emergency medicine professor at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville and author of the book “Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It.” Particularly in emergency departments, she said, there can be an inherent bias. “There’s this assumption that women are emotional and they’re anxious and that that’s the main issue,” she said.
534 notes · View notes
inmyheadimobsessed · 1 year
Text
Your Spark Got Lazy
Tumblr media
pairing: shuri ✘ plussize!black!fem!reader
summary: shuri misses your birthday dinner because she's too caught up in her work, things ensue
contains: hurt/comfort (if you squint), smut (18+), smidge of angst
word count: 1836
divider by: @firefly-graphics
note: sooooo this turned into something i did not plan for it to turn into. i’m not mad at it though. i wrote this whilst sitting on the couch next to my family on thanksgiving, fun times man. also i don't speak xhosa, so thank you my mutual & @lehlehwrites for the corrections! hope you enjoy <33
updated translations: sthandwa - my love, bambo'lwami - my other half, mtuwam - my person
Tumblr media
“Griot, I need you to run an analysis on this immediately.” Shuri called, and the AI complied. You stood watching her from behind as she worked on a new upgrade for the Sunbird. It was cute really, the way she was wrapped up in her work, scribbling angles and dimensions on her board.
Her curls bounced with the brisk movements of her hand, pulling your gaze on her in even further. Her gray jumpsuit clung to that frame you loved so much and you bit your lip. The smile fighting its way to your face was involuntary. Any sight of Shuri made your heart stutter and your insides melt, but you had to remember why you were here.
Irritation sizzled in your chest as you recounted the night’s events, and gone was your fond smile for your girlfriend.
Shuri had yet to notice your presence in her lab, which only amplified your annoyance.
“Panther, you have a‒” Griot’s attempt at alerting her of your being in the room was waved off by the newly crowned Queen. Your eye twitched at this, and you plastered on a vengeful grin. Still, you said nothing. Shuri’s ability to zone out on command would be a forever haunting act.
You leaned against the large white column in the center of the room, eyes following her twitching hands.
“You should continue those calculations as I instructed, instead of interrupting me. This is not what I designed you for.” She shifted over to her sand table and you tilted your head curiously at her. If your anger toward her weren’t molting into lava by the passing of every second she went without acknowledging you, you would probably be very turned on at the moment. Being around Shuri in work mode always did it for you.
She placed herself back in front of the board, letting her eyes dart around the lab long enough to spot you. Shuri froze then, and she stopped breathing. She still faced away from you, but you could tell by the way her back’s erratic rising and falling had halted.
It was easy to realize this would be her defense mechanism; avoiding your eyes, facing away from you for as long as you permitted. Normally you were not one for cruelty, but this was no normal circumstance. You let Shuri stand there, unmoving, holding her breath for a few beats. Her heart was thumping, it had to be, on the verge of leaping out her chest, in search of refuge from your impending rath.
“You may breathe now.” You rolled your eyes and she spun to face you. Shuri was at your side in seconds.
Sweaty palms clasped your beat face, “Bambo'lwami, forgive me.” You said nothing, a lone grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. She gulped, like actually gulped. It was audible, and it was a glorious sound. You wanted the sensation — Shuri bracing herself for her imminent demise — to blanket you in all its glory.
Remorseful cocoa eyes studied you, taking in your glamorous appearance. Your box braids hung down your back in a side part, draping your lavender sequined dress. Your Kimoyo earrings twinkled under the lights hung overhead. Plump, perfect lips glossed with precision. Your custom necklace, made by hers truly adorned your neck, and it's where her gaze decided to focus. Shuri was avoiding your eyeline at all costs.
“My love, I am sorry, truly.” Her voice was hushed and shy. Shuri, who usually commanded each room she was in, was reverting into herself. And you had yet to reprimand her for her actions. It was truly spectacular.
Grin still hanging loosely on your lips, growing with disdain as time ticked on, you stepped around the shorter woman. You strode to her sand table, dragging a manicured nail through the fine grains. Your feet placed you in front of her board and you began swiping through her designs.
“Say something.” You let a soft chuckle fly out of you at her words and you saw her reflection flinch on the screen.
“So. This is what my loving girlfriend has been up to all day. Hmm? Why she ignored my messages? Why she missed my birthday dinner?” You turned to face her then.
Hesitation was evident in her steps as she made her way towards you again, “I lost track of time. I planned to be there, I just-”
“Lost track of time.” You nodded, eyeing her and the forlorn on her face.
Shuri grabbed your hands, attempting to kiss them in apology, but you tugged them away harshly. The hurt in your stomach grew tall as it began stacking on top of itself. You were eager to forgive Shuri usually, aware of the turmoil that plagued her life as of late. You excused a lot of her actions without question, and accepted her apologies with ease. But this time it was different. It was your birthday and she promised she would show up. She was the one to pick your outfit and your jewelry. Your excitement about the night stemmed from her own.
“Shuri, I reminded you this morning, before you left. I know how you get so I made it a point to remind you. Yet you did not show.”
She reached for your hands again, and this time you allowed it. “Sthandwa, I know I’ve hurt you. I know you were counting on me and I let you down. I shouldn’t have missed your birthday.”
Tears stung your eyes and it was your turn to avert her gaze. Your irises focused on her tattoo, examining it as if it was a new discovery.
“Look at me please, my heart. I am so sorry.”
“Saying sorry will not fix it this time, Shuri.” You pulled your hands out of her warm grip and a line snapped inside you. “You know, it’s not even about my birthday at this point, it's about your constant absence in my life, this relationship. I know you are hurting, mtuwam but you have to let me in.”
Shuri stayed silent as you spoke, letting your words wash over her. There was nothing about what you said to refute. She knew you were correct, and you could see the shame clouding her eyes.
You took your earrings out, gently placing them on the table beside you. Her eyes tracked you as you did, knowing what your action meant, accepting the finality of the moment. You felt it too and it was too cold to bear. You gave her a quick once over, committing her to memory. Breathtakingly beautiful and able to set your body ablaze just by existing.
Stepping around her to leave, she grabbed your wrist. Firm and swift, and demanding enough to stop you in your tracks.
“Give me a chance to fix us.” Shuri pleaded, eyes desperate.
You scoffed, “Our relationship is not one of your inventions. You cannot just tinker with it until you deem it fixed, Shuri.”
She leapt forward, cradling your jaw anxiously. “Let me try.”
Simple, tender words worked their way through your system and settled inside. You folded then. She pulled your forehead to meet hers and sparks flew. You felt it. Bast, you felt everything for this brilliant woman. She navigated all your emotions so delicately.
“Please, bambo'lwami.”
Shuri got on her tiptoes, planting her velvet lips on yours, working them in that magical way she does. You kissed her back immediately, without a beat of hesitation. Hunger climbed from your depths as you deepened the kiss. You swallowed each other's breaths greedily, moaning in sync. Shuri’s hands found your curves, caressing and squeezing whatever she could. She slammed your back against a wall violently, the strength of the Black Panther thrilling in her veins.
Your lips trailed her sharp jawline, licking and sucking desperately. Shuri’s hand slipped under your dress with haste and you whined when her finger trailed the outside of your panties.
You sucked in a breath, “Thought you said no sex in the lab.”
“This is different, it's your birthday.” She was on her knees before you could blink, hiking your dress up like an animal in heat. Her impatience was always a turn on. With your dress around your middle, Shuri peppered hot, ravenous kisses from the stretch marks decorating your stomach, to your large thighs. She took her time working to your core and you whined. She smirked up at you before licking the inside of your leg.
Shuri snaked her finger under the waistband of your lace panties, guiding them down excruciatingly slowly. She knew what she was doing and you did not enjoy it.
“You should pick up the pace, your majesty. Do not mistake my lust for forgiveness.”
Your underwear hit your ankles and you stepped out of them. Shuri dragged a thumb through your folds and the hiss that escaped your mouth was of the most sinful. Your wetness coated her fingers as she rubbed delicate circles on your clit, the way she knew you loved.
“You speak of not forgiving me my darling, but it seems as though your pretty little cunt did not get the memo. She is so drenched for me, dripping all over my lab.” Shuri purred.
She stood on her feet, bringing her damp fingers to your swollen lips. “Imagine if her royal subjects could hear the filth you utter.”
You sucked her fingers as instructed before she returned them to your pussy. Two fingers in your hole, thumb massaging your clit. Her thrusts were intense and sweet, coaxing your orgasm out of you. You moaned with abandon in her ear, letting her lips abuse your neck.
Your pleasure wrapped around itself, tightening to a snapping point. Shuri wanted you to snap, she wanted you to spill all over her fingers. Her fingers fucked you with unabashed starvation and you were a mess.
“Make a mess for me my love, I know you're close.” She pecked your neck, teeth grazing over the many bruises she’d created. Her words tipped, pushed, shoved you over angrily. Your whine of ecstasy bounced off the walls and rang in your ears. Pleasure rained down on you, traveling with hurricane level winds and waves.
Your knees buckled immediately, and you fell to the ground, Shuri right behind you. She pulled her fingers from within you and sucked them clean.
She let her hands find your sweaty face, tucking loose braids behind your ears. Her brown eyes fanned your exasperated form. She studied you, eyes twinkling before she smiled sadly. You glared back at her between your half lidded, heavy eyes and returned her smile.
Shuri bit her lip. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I lost sight of us, admitting that is hard. Admitting I caused you pain is hard, but I promise you this: It shall never happen again.” Shuri leaned in to kiss your forehead and you hummed, for it was the only response you could muster.
965 notes · View notes
joohanisms · 1 month
Note
idk if you wrote about this before or not but thoughts on taking junhans virginity 😭😭😭
i haven't!!!!!!! tysm for the ask so i have an excuse to <33
(half written before i went ia)
mmm first of all i think hed actively look for someone inexperienced to date while hw himself was inexperienced
less space for disappointment yknow how could hw disappoint you when you kinda just .. dont know better literally
but then he ended up w you <3 who actually does have some experience and its kinda nervewracking for him, he's not gonna lie
he's been putting it off for so long – sure, it only took a couple of dates for you to make out and your hands to wander. the way he tentatively gripped your ass made you want him kind of desperately.
but it never went past that. a while later, when the topic of making things official came up, his cheeks blushed a deep red while he looked down at his feet.
"ah, before we, you know, start dating for real... i thought you should know." and fuck, you think. there it goes. there's the catch. "i'm not too... experienced. actually, i've never had sex before. i don't want you to be disappointed if we get to it and i'm not any go–" his mouth is sealed shut as you kiss him firmly, hands cradling his face.
"you're stupid. i don't care. nothing of what you just said would ever make me lose interest," he wants to avoid your eyes, hide his face, but the way you're holding his flaming cheeks in place won't let him. "at most, it just makes me happy i'll be your first."
and since then, he's been avoiding – more like procrastinating, to be fair – getting sexual with you. the most you've done so far was dry humping each other on his sofa while his apartment was empty (that is, until one of his roommates opened the front door and he jumped out of his skin).
you don't want to push him, so you wait for him to come to you.
(but if anyone asked you whether you were fingering yourself in the shower thinking about him, you wouldn't be able to deny it.)
the next time he got to escape from his dorm and visit you and your blessedly empty tiny apartment, he has you on his lap, the movie playing on your laptop long forgotten.
you didn't notice anything before – he was the same hyeongjun as always – but now you can see how his hands are shaking and how he keeps taking deep breaths seemingly out of nowhere.
you detach your lips from his, studying his face. this makes him more nervous, the poor thing. did he do something wrong? is he this easy to read?
"hyeongjun, are you okay? you look like you're going to pass out." you try to leave the comfortable seat that is his thighs, but his hands shoot up and grab your waist, holding you down.
"hyeongjun. you're shaking. have you eaten? let me grab you a cup of wa–"
"i'm fine."
"really? what did you have for lunch? did you have enough? or did you have too much?" you can't help but worry for him. he's already a skinny guy, but you can't be too careful knowing how much time he spends online.
"i swear i'm fine! i'm just..." he trails off, looking at everything in your room but you. one of his hands leaves your waist to fiddle with a loose thread on your comforter. once again, you wait for him to come to you – he likes that about you, how you leave him to find ways to express himself instead of dragging it out of him. his tone is soft when he eventually finishes, "i'm just nervous, that's all."
you cup his cheek in an act of comfort, looking at him like he's some kind of baby bunny, small and defenseless. he finds he doesn't mind it too much.
"nervous about what, baby? what's on your mind?"
"i was thinking," he finally lets go of your waist to play with his fingers, "maybe it's about time we, uh, you know, fuck."
jesus christ. your tummy does a backflip at his wording.
"you know i don't mind if we don't, right? i'm fine with how things are now." you slide your hand down his neck and shoulder, and some braincell vaguely makes him think that you're not doing anything to help him go against having sex.
"but i want to," his response is eager and he backtracks, "if you want it too, i mean."
your mind is so clouded with the thought of not only having him, but also to have you be his first, that you don't even respond before you're pressing your lips to his again.
" of course i do."
27 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
New SpaceTime out Monday....
SpaceTime 20240401 Series 27 Episode 40
Strong magnetic fields at the edge of Milky Way’s supermassive black hole
A new image from the Event Horizon Telescope has uncovered strong organised magnetic fields spiralling around the edge of Sagittarius A* the supermassive black hole at the centre of our Milky Way Galaxy.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
New studies show blue supergiant stars can be formed through stellar mergers
A new study has found that some of the brightest, hottest, and most luminous stars in the universe are created by the merger of two smaller stars.
Tumblr media
Peering Into the Tendrils of a distant galaxy
The Webb space telescope has provided astronomers with a new view of a spectacular star forming region called NGC-604 deep inside the Triangulum Galaxy M-33.
Moscow sends a new crew to the International Space Station
A Russian Soyuz capsule has safely docked to the International Space Station as it flew 420 kilometres above the planet.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Science Report
How spending less time sitting could help reduce blood pressure in people over 60.
Scientists map the genome of sugarcane.
It’s true, today’s music really isn’t as good as that back in the olden days.
Skeptics guide to why people believe in astrology
SpaceTime covers the latest news in astronomy & space sciences.
The show is available every Monday, Wednesday and Friday through Apple Podcasts (itunes), Stitcher, Google Podcast, Pocketcasts, SoundCloud, Bitez.com, YouTube, your favourite podcast download provider, and from www.spacetimewithstuartgary.com
SpaceTime is also broadcast through the National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio and on both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.
SpaceTime daily news blog: http://spacetimewithstuartgary.tumblr.com/
SpaceTime facebook: www.facebook.com/spacetimewithstuartgary
SpaceTime Instagram @spacetimewithstuartgary
SpaceTime twitter feed @stuartgary
SpaceTime YouTube: @SpaceTimewithStuartGary
SpaceTime -- A brief history
SpaceTime is Australia’s most popular and respected astronomy and space science news program – averaging over two million downloads every year. We’re also number five in the United States.  The show reports on the latest stories and discoveries making news in astronomy, space flight, and science.  SpaceTime features weekly interviews with leading Australian scientists about their research.  The show began life in 1995 as ‘StarStuff’ on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s (ABC) NewsRadio network.  Award winning investigative reporter Stuart Gary created the program during more than fifteen years as NewsRadio’s evening anchor and Science Editor.  Gary’s always loved science. He studied astronomy at university and was invited to undertake a PHD in astrophysics, but instead focused on his career in journalism and radio broadcasting. He worked as an announcer and music DJ in commercial radio, before becoming a journalist and eventually joining ABC News and Current Affairs. Later, Gary became part of the team that set up ABC NewsRadio and was one of its first presenters. When asked to put his science background to use, Gary developed StarStuff which he wrote, produced and hosted, consistently achieving 9 per cent of the national Australian radio audience based on the ABC’s Nielsen ratings survey figures for the five major Australian metro markets: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Perth.  The StarStuff podcast was published on line by ABC Science -- achieving over 1.3 million downloads annually.  However, after some 20 years, the show finally wrapped up in December 2015 following ABC funding cuts, and a redirection of available finances to increase sports and horse racing coverage.  Rather than continue with the ABC, Gary resigned so that he could keep the show going independently.  StarStuff was rebranded as “SpaceTime”, with the first episode being broadcast in February 2016.  Over the years, SpaceTime has grown, more than doubling its former ABC audience numbers and expanding to include new segments such as the Science Report -- which provides a wrap of general science news, weekly skeptical science features, special reports looking at the latest computer and technology news, and Skywatch – which provides a monthly guide to the night skies. The show is published three times weekly (every Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and available from the United States National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio, and through both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.
15 notes · View notes
otrtbs · 4 months
Note
bro if you wrote research papers i would devour them, your knowledge is incredible and you share it in a way that makes me eager to learn more. you explain and describe things so purely, you have this knowledge and love that you want to share and that feels so rare! you create out of love. your passion shines through so brightly in regulus in winterlude. In chap 4, “She had a tiny… for better methods.” you have me hooked. ahb! has already sent me deep into learning about art, winterlude is making me want to study it seriously. you are an incredibly talented writer, and i would love to read any type of work you put out.
hi!!
this is one of the sweetest compliments i’ve ever received :,)) thank you so much!! <33
in my educational and professional life it’s always been super important to me to examine the way we talk about art.
the “we” being, well, those in the art history field. curators, academics, critics, gallerists, etc.
because i believe so much curiosity for the subject and eagerness to learn is killed by the gatekeep-y way (mainly) older art historians talk about art. by referencing artists or movements or complex technical terms with little to no background ,,, they make the language and writing surrounding the subject unnecessarily complex and dense where it’s almost impossible to understand just for the sake of justifying their own intelligence/subject matter etc.
(which isn’t to say that texts you read can’t or shouldn’t be challenging or that overly simplistic explanations are superior. they can be complex in their ideas and inquisitive whilst still keeping the reader in mind)
but with my writing about art and art history it has always been a goal of mine to remove some of the accessibility barriers present in the field. in the hopes that, anyone, even those without advanced degrees in the subject, can read the text and have, at the very least, a foothold or semblance of understanding and curiosity instead of leaving a paper feeling discouraged and wildly overwhelmed and confused.
i’m rambling but i feel like if you love a subject and you’re writing on it to bring new ideas or to tell people about it,,,, you think you’d want to encourage them to get excited about the subject too,,, not use intentionally exclusionary and confusing language to appeal to other academics already in the field (<- which like obviously know ur audience. bc some papers are mainly meant to address other academics in the field etc etc)
and w fanfic the stakes are So SO much lower. basically non-existent so i get to be like “LOOK! (if u want to look and ur curious) I LOVE THIS THING !!! and i get to talk about in a new way!!! by integrating it into conversations ,,, into character’s stories ,,,, into casual settings !! instead of the highly academic strictly educational papers im used to!!” and that part has been THE MOST FUN for me :,))
anyway ,, just thank you very much for this ask !! it has made my night!! <33 i hope you have the best time learning and researching and exploring the subject and if you ever have any questions or want other resources let me know anytime !!!
20 notes · View notes
straightplayshowdown · 8 months
Text
Doctor Faustus: Yearning for infinite knowledge and questioning his faith, Doctor Faustus forsakes his scholarly studies for the world of magic and sorcery. He makes a pact with the devil. If the evil spirit, Mephastophilis, will serve him for 24 years, Faustus will bequeath the devil his soul after his death and spend eternity damned in hell. Despite warnings from colleagues, Faustus is blind to the terrifying extent of his actions until it is too late. Going on a journey with Mephastophilis and displaying his magic to a host of influential and important figures, Faustus finally realizes that he has come to the end of his allotted time on earth and learnt nothing.
The Importance of Being Earnest: Two bachelors, John ‘Jack’ Worthing and Algernon ‘Algy’ Moncrieff, create alter egos named Ernest to escape their tiresome lives. They attempt to win the hearts of two women who, conveniently, claim to only love men called Ernest. The pair struggle to keep up with their own stories and become tangled in a tale of deception, disguise and misadventure.
Propaganda under the cut!
Doctor Faustus:
Gay as hell (I wrote a 30 page senior thesis on this), beautiful writing, great if you're going through some shit and have christian guilt, then you can kin Faustus really hard
funny and also a great look at christianity and damnation. also faustus is gay for a demon 
It's about Christianity and damnation where Faustus is bored of academia because he's too smart so he sells his soul to the devil for magic. Then, he pranks the pope and is gay for his demon attendant. 
God this play is so good. A scholar, who's learned all he could of earthly things, sells his soul to the devil for magic. It's about sin, damnation, predestination. Is Faustus damned or is he damning himself? God it’s so good. Going to list some of my favorite lines now bc the writing is just so <33 
When Faustus asks the demon Mephastophilis how he can be here on earth when he's damned to hell, he says "Why this is hell, nor am I out of it. / Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of God, / And tasted the eternal joys of heaven, / Am not tormented with ten thousand hells / In being deprived of everlasting bliss?" which is just so true. Like god that conception of hell is so. Like yeah. Of course anywhere other than heaven would be hell when one has experienced heaven. God.
So many lines from Faustus questioning his choice and wondering if he should repent and if he were to repent would God even forgive him like "Why waverest thou? O, something soundeth in mine ears: 'Abjure this magic, turn to God again.' / Ay, and Faustus will turn to God again. / To God? He loves thee not: / Thou God thy servest is thine own appetite." Like the “To God? He loves thee not” gets me every fucking time bc he is SO convinced that he’s damned, he’s SO convinced that there’s no hope for him and that God does not love him. Like. And "Whither should I fly? / If unto God, he'll throw me down to hell.” Again, he’s absolutely convinced that there’s no hope for him. Even if he wants to repent, it doesn’t matter; God will turn him away. And "What art thou Faustus, but a man condemned to die?" And, god one of my favorite Faustus being convinced of his own damnation lines, "But Faustus' offense can ne'er be pardoned! The serpent / that tempted Eve may be saved, but not Faustus." Even the SERPENT THAT TEMPTED EVE may be saved, but not Faustus. Like?? He’s so convinced of his own damnation that he believes that even if the literal serpent who caused the fall of humans could be saved, he would still be damned. Like god. Also, this whole spiel after another scholar is like call on God and repent to which Faustus goes, “On God, whom Faustus hath abjured? On God / whom Faustus hath blasphemed? Ah, my God—I would weep, but the devil draws in my tears! Gush forth blood, instead of tears—yea, / life and soul! O, he stays my tongue! I would lift my hands, but / see, they hold them, they hold them!” Like god. He would weep but the devil draws in his tears and he is weeping blood instead. He would raise up his hands to heaven but he is being held down. And like the beginning. The “who am I to call on God? God whom I have abjured and renounced? God who I have cursed and blasphemed? Who am I to call on him? Would he even answer if I did? If I could?” Like god. It’s so.
And finally, my fucking absolute favorite lines in the entirety of the play, which technically fall under the Faustus repenting category, but deserve their own number bc I love this part so much. Background: These are lines said by Faustus in his final monologue, a monologue that really starkly resembles Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. It is Faustus, minutes before the devils come to take his soul, pleading to God for the last time to have mercy on him. He says (bear with me this is long) “The stars move still, time runs, the clock will strike, / The devil will come, and Faustus must be damned. / O I’ll leap up to my God! Who pulls me down? / See, see where Christ’s blood streams in the firmament! / One drop would save my soul, half a drop; ah my Christ— / Ah, rend not my heart for naming of my Christ; / Yet will I call on him—O spare me, Lucifer! / Where is it now? ‘Tis gone: and see where God bends his ireful brows! / Mountains and hills, come, come and fall on me, / And hide me from the heavy wrath of God. / No, no? / Then I will run headlong into the earth: / Earth, gape! O no, it will not harbor me.” So what’s happening here? Faustus is watching the time tick by before the devil comes to take him. He is trying to leap up to God, to repent, but he can’t; there’s someone pulling him down. Is it the devil? Is it himself? Who knows. Then, he sees Christ’s blood in the sky. He’s begging for it. For not even one drop, just half a drop; if he could just have half a drop perhaps he could be saved. That line btw, while it is only in the A text of Doctor Faustus (there’s two versions of the play, the A text and B text), is often still included in the B text editions bc it’s just that fucking good. Anyway. He pleads to Christ, something he is not allowed to do under his contract with Lucifer; he is not allowed to call upon God or Jesus or say any holy names. So when he calls upon Christ, he knows what Lucifer could do to him for it, but calls on him anyway, begging Lucifer to spare him. But once he invokes Lucifer’s name, the blood in the sky disappears. Instead, now all he sees is God’s ireful brows. So, he tries to take shelter from God in the earth, but not even the Earth will harbor him. It’s just so. Like god. And finally, at the end of his monologue, right before the devils enter to drag him to hell, Faustus cries, “My God, my God, look not so fierce on me!” a line which is just so. A blatant blasphemy of “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me,” this line is everything to me. Like god. It’s just so. God. 
Anyway, Doctor Faustus is fucking amazing and these aren’t even all my favorite lines, I have so many more and there’s so much more I love about this play, but this is already long enough. It’s just so good. It’s a meditation on predestination and damnation, it’s blasphemous, it’s wonderful. The writing is so good. I just love it so much.
The Importance of Being Earnest: 
Queercoded love interest and Victorian dandies, what’s not to love? 
Quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read.
It's very funny.
there is a HANDBAG and it is a MAJOR PLOT POINT. jack pretends to be ernest because he's been doing it for ages and why not am i right? algernon pretends to be ernest to get a girl and also so screw stuff up. as one does. gwendolen and cecily have a REALLY passive aggressive tea party. this play slaps. it is so good. go read it and/or see it
“Nothing will induce me to part with Bunbury, and if you ever get married, which seems to me extremely problematic, you will be very glad to know Bunbury. A man who marries without knowing Bunbury has a very tedious time of it.” 
Lady Bracknell: “I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square.”
Lady Bracknell: “My nephew, you seem to be displaying signs of triviality.”
Jack: “On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, I’ve now realized for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.”
38 notes · View notes