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punksarahreese · 3 years

Note

I haven't had another episode, except last night was touch and go + Mr Crockett

Episode | Crockett Marcel

Excerpt from a psych!AU I’ll never write; Crockett is an inpatient in the psych ward and he has therapy with his favourite Psychiatrist

Prompt: “I haven’t had another episode, except last night was touch and go.”

Word count: 1797

CW: Psych ward, talks of depressive episodes, brief mention of dermatillomania, schizoaffective disorder, child death

***

“Mr. Marcel?” the voice at his door made Crockett groan, recognizing the voice as the nurse who always disturbed him at ridiculous hours. He wanted to have a talk with whoever decided pill time would be at six in the morning, how was he supposed to “heal” if they never let him get any sleep?

“Maggie, can’t you let me sleep for another hour,” he rolled over and sighed when she shook her head. Medication and vitals were a morning routine, every day before the sun even thought about rising completely. Routine was good, they told him, a routine would help with figuring out what was reality and what was his mind playing tricks. He didn’t think so, nothing would stop the fact that he saw his daughter clear as day despite the 5th anniversary of her death steadily approaching.

“Up and at ‘em, mister,” the nurse mused as she marched over with his tray and the cart carrying the monitors. He obliged because he had no choice but to do so, even though he hated the way the pills made him feel. Antipsychotics were something Crockett hated, ever since his diagnosis back when he was just twenty-one. They made him feel incorrect, as if he was floating through life with blinders on. He knew they were supposed to help, to show him what was really there, but he couldn’t help but think it made him more miserable.

“You have one-on-one therapy today,” she reminded him as she watched Crockett take his pills and then checked under his tongue to ensure he wasn’t hiding them. He had tried that a couple times and sometimes it worked on the younger nurses, but not Maggie. She knew all, especially these kinds of tricks, and Crockett wasn’t about to risk mandatory IV medications for another month just for one day without the drugs.

“Oh lovely,” he muttered, “Not that Charles guy again, right? He’s insufferable.”

Maggie laughed, “Oh please, Daniel is just fine.”

“Insufferable,” he restated with an eye-roll, still complying when she held out the pulse oximeter to clip it to his fingertip. Maggie just hummed, watching the machine for a moment before speaking.

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that. If it makes it any better, though, you’ll be seeing Doctor Reese today.”

That brought a smile to his face, though it was one that never quite reached his eyes. Maggie wasn’t sure if she had ever seen a genuine smile from Crockett, certainly not since Harper’s death and the worsening of his illness. Still, if one thing made his days more bearable it was sessions with Doctor Reese, who Crockett had started to consider more of a friend than a physician by that point.

“Our Sarah,” he hummed as she took the device off his hand, “She’s lovely.”

“She is,” the nurse agreed, “Now go get ready for the day, Crockett. You’ll be expected in the dining hall by 7:00 and I certainly won't have you slumming around in your pyjamas all day; you know the drill.”

***

By noon, Crockett was ready to go back to bed. Breakfast had been as dull as always, with his friend Ava in solitary for the next two days he didn’t have many people to speak to. Well, Natalie liked to talk to him but, if he was being honest, she could be a little much. She was just excited, Maggie insisted, but she tried to get Crockett to talk about his hallucinations far too often for him to be comfortable.

Jimmy sat with him that day, though. He didn’t talk much, or ever really, but he was decent company. They played cards together sometimes and always partnered for the team-building exercises in group therapy. Crockett didn’t press for verbal communication and Jimmy never judged him for his episodes; it was a friendship built on silent respect and they were both pleased with that arrangement. Still, Crockett often preferred to be alone, and that day was no different, so he retreated to his bedroom the second they allowed him to.

When nurse April arrived at his door with her tablet in hand, Crockett had been staring blankly at the TV. It wasn’t on, never was, but he watched it as if the most riveting program was playing. He wasn’t focusing on a delusion, though, and he promised April that when she asked if he was okay. The meds got rid of most of his visual symptoms, though the auditory ones were still a frequent occurrence with or without the drugs. He just liked to look at the TV, letting his mind wander to a time where he could actually enjoy television. It had been about five years by then, the last movie he remembered watching being the Princess and the Frog. Harper had loved that movie and talked excitedly of visiting New Orleans to see where her papa and Princess Tiana were both from. She never got there, unfortunately; the cancer taking her before her dad had the time to buy plane tickets.

“Come now, Crockett. Sarah is waiting in the conference room for you.”

He let the nurse lead him down the hall, silent because his head was still miles away. He was alert and lucid, that wasn’t the problem. Today it wasn’t delusions that plagued Crockett, instead it was the memories that had started to hurt him the most. Sarah would ask about that, especially once she saw the semi-lunar marks along the inside of his wrists, turning to scratches that curled up towards his biceps. Maggie hadn’t seen them because of his long sleeve shirt that morning but Sarah would check, she always did. It’s not as though Crockett did it on purpose, but when he couldn’t sleep at night and his skin was crawling all he could do was dig his nails in and pray for it to stop. The bugs weren’t there, Sarah always said they weren’t real, but his skin felt wrong and nothing would stop it. He had to scratch, he would tell her; it was the only way to make it stop.

“Crockett,” she greeted him cheerfully the second he stepped into the room, “Have a seat.”

“Hello, Sarah,” he replied as kindly as he could, though he was a bit distracted. His mood had been pretty low all morning, which was probably evident in his posture and demeanour.

“How have you been doing?

Crockett just shrugged, occupying himself with studying Sarah’s name badge. She had gotten a new one, the piece of plastic now boasting “psychiatry fellow”. She had been his secondary therapist since she was just in her second year of residency, so it was nice to see her climbing the ranks. It was well deserved, of course; Sarah had been the one constant in his most recent stay that kept Crockett relatively sane.

“Crockett?”

“Fine, I guess,” he muttered, “I haven’t had another episode… except last night was touch and go.”

“How so?” She was always so patient, not pushing too much, but she did need answers. If he was still having episodes on his antipsychotics, they may need to adjust the dosage again. He hoped she wouldn’t, though, because he hated the constant brain fog that came along with high dosing.

“A low, again.” he was fidgeting with his sleeve, not able to make eye contact at that point. His depression was a topic he never liked to discuss, since it was an aspect of his disorder he hadn’t been aware of until after Harper. Before it was just schizophrenia, a diagnosis that came about after a paranoia episode landed him in handcuffs in the security office at his university. However, when he hit a major low after Harper’s leukaemia was found, his primary psychiatrist noted that his diagnosis may be more than they expected. Schizoaffective disorder with the depression variant, he was told, and that was probably a factor in why he didn’t respond to the medications in the beginning.

“I see,” Sarah typed something onto his chart before looking up at him with gentle eyes, “Do you want to share how you felt?”

“I miss her,” he admitted softly, “It’s hard.”

“I know, I’m genuinely sorry, Crockett. Harper must have been so loved, I’m sure she misses you.”

“The meds…” Crockett huffed, “I can’t see her anymore.”

“Crockett, she’s not there,” Sarah’s words were gentle but still firm, as if he needed a reminder that his only daughter was dead before she even got to live a proper life. That reality was something that never left his mind, a nagging feeling that haunted him every single day. Meds or not, it was hard, but without seeing Harper daily, Crockett began to feel like he would forget her.

“Sarah, I need to see her.”

“I can’t do that, you know how unsafe it can be to take you off such a high dosage. I know you are upset but we can talk through this, okay?”

“No!” he was getting frustrated, even though he hated to yell at Sarah. She didn’t understand how important this was. He didn’t care if she was dead and she claimed the delusions weren’t real, he just wanted his daughter back. Even if it wasn’t the proper reality, maybe Crockett didn’t want to live in one without Harper. He told Sarah that much, upset that she would claim that she isn’t there anymore. She is always there; sitting on his bed and playing with her stuffed bunny, singing songs from those Disney shows she adored so much. Crockett saw her, held her close when the bad feelings returned and he felt like he was drowning. His baby would never leave him, she couldn't; Harper was all he had left.

“Hey,” Sarah spoke quickly when she recognized his agitation, “I’m sorry. Tell Harper I didn’t mean any harm, next time she’s around, okay? Can we start over, please?”

He frowned, knowing what she was doing, but nodded all the same. He didn’t want to fight with Sarah, she was one of the only staff members around here that he properly trusted. She didn’t want to upset him and she didn’t want to take his daughter away, it was just hard to recognize that sometimes. She wanted to help, to understand his mind, and maybe it was time for Crockett to let someone in again. It had been far too long.

“Start from the beginning,” she prompted as he slowly relaxed again, “How long ago did this low start?”

#q #I wrote this in record time after having a whole mental break down today <3 #can you tell I’m not okay #goodbye friends i am gone #crockett marcel #harper marcel #sarah reese #maggie lockwood #april sexton #asks #anon #userglow #fractured reality #psych!au #my aus #cj add this to your fic masterpost

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idy-ll-ique · 3 years

Text

Blurry Lines.

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: MISCOMMUNICATION because oh my god just talk

Requested: nope

Summary: Y/N works for James Barnes, CEO of a very successful tech company. She also has a massive crush on him. One day, she walks in on him kissing his assistant, and a few months in, because of the incident, she turns in her resignation letter. But will Bucky let her go? There's a thin line between professionalism and non-professionalism, blurred in the case of Bucky and Y/N.

Author's Note: hiya peeps! could've just named it "a shakespeare play" because of all the miscommunication but i already have a fic with shakespeare in its title asfhdkfks,,, anyway enjoy!

masterlist

---

There he is.

The man who ruined my whole life.

Y/N stared as her boss, James Barnes, left the elevator, greeting everyone with a polite smile and a wave. Why did he have to be so perfect all the time? He wore a sky-blue-colored suit with a white shirt underneath, his long hair pulled back into a bun with loose strands framing his face, making him look like a Greek God.

She had fallen for him, which was a big, big, big mistake. 1, he was her boss; 2, he was way out of her league, and 3, he probably had a girlfriend because a man like that, single? Hah, no way. "Y/N? Y/N, hello?" She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up, giving the man a small, forced smile.

"Hi, Mr Barnes, good morning." Bucky's smile faltered a bit at her words because she never called him Mr Barnes, he had specifically requested her to call him Bucky. Was he in trouble? "Mr Barnes? Whoa, what did I do?" he joked, though Y/N realized he was being serious. "Sorry, must've slipped out."

"Okay. Good morning to you, too!" He smiled and went to his office. As soon he turned his back to her, Y/N dropped her smile and scowled, crossing her arms. "Stupid man with his stupid attitude and his stupid handsome smile and his idiotic, beautiful blue eyes," she grumbled under her breath as she continued working.

Y/N Y/L/N was an employee of the one and only James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, CEO of a big tech company called Epsilon. She loved working with him; he paid his employees well, was very kind-hearted, and showed no bias to anyone. When she had first started working with him, she wasn't interested in him at all, romantically speaking.

Then, a few months passed by and she started looking forward to his everyday arrival; seeing him get out of the elevator with his gorgeous eyes, his expensive suits and Cheshire grins became the favorite part of her day. Y/N was damn good at hiding her crush though; she was sure that it would go away with time.

But it didn't.

2 years had now passed since she started working for Bucky and the crush was still there, more amplified than before. But she knew it would never work out between them. So she started distancing herself from him. For some reason, he was very, very friendly with her; she knew he was a reserved man so it was peculiar…

He would be holed up in his office the whole day after greeting everyone. Hell, the only words he ever said to his employees were "good morning" and "goodnight, I'll see you all tomorrow" while the rest of his notices were passed on to them by his assistant.

Still, he always stayed at her desk the longest, making small talk. "The weather is nice today, any plans after work?" he'd ask one day while, "You look gorgeous today, is that a new dress?" the other. It was odd; why did he do it? He certainly couldn't be interested in her, could he?

Y/N sighed, sorting through the stack of papers on her desk when she suddenly noticed that one of them was missing Bucky's signature. She glanced at his assistant's desk; she was nowhere to be found so Y/N got up, walking to Bucky's office to get the signature herself.

She knocked on the door but accidentally pushed it open. The sight that greeted her probably scarred her for life; inside Bucky's office, he was kissing his assistant, pushed up against his desk. Y/N's eyes widened and she immediately turned around to leave, the clicking of her heels alerting Bucky.

"Get off of me," he grumbled, pushing his assistant away as he ran to the door, looking out to see Y/N walking away. "Y/N! Y/N!" She turned around at the sound of his voice and gave him an awkward smile. "I didn't mean to walk in without permission, I'm really sorry, I just needed a signature on a paper, really didn't mean to—"

He waved his arm in dismissal and took the paper from her hands, signing it and handing it back to her. "It's fine." He gave her a small smile as she turned to leave. Bucky then groaned quietly and went back to his office, glaring at his assistant. "What the fuck was that?" he hissed. "You like me!" she whined and he scrunched his nose in disgust.

"What— when did I ever tell you that?! I'm not interested in you," he spat. "So all those glances you gave me, all the times you flirted with me, that was fake?" she shrieked. "Stop yelling," he admonished, "And for the record, I have never once in my life ever flirted with you or glanced at you in any way except professionally. Please snap out of your daydream."

"So what about the kiss?"

"You didn't give me time to push away! And now poor Y/N probably thinks I'm some sort of a playboy who takes advantage of women that work for me— you know what? You're fired. Don't ever show up to his place again." His assistant wailed, her eyes filled with tears.

"I knew it. I knew you liked her!" she accused him and he scoffed. "I don't like her. Now get lost, I have a lot of work to do." She stormed out of his office. The angry clicking of her heels made Y/N and the rest of the employees look up as she staggered towards the elevator. Y/N frowned; what the hell was going on?

"What do you think is up with her?" her friend Rubie whispered. "I have no idea, I caught her making out with Bu— Mr Barnes. I guess they fought?" Rubie's eyes went wide. "You mean he isn't into her? Damn, the bosses always fall for their hot ass assistants, what happened here?" Y/N giggled at her words.

"Well, at least my theory is confirmed."

"What theory?" Y/N blinked. "That he likes you! Think about it; he always greets you with some extra phrases, he always praises your work, and now after you caught him kissing someone else he gets into a fight with them, possibly breaking up. Some of the other women are jealous of you, you know. They think you're super close with him."

"What?!" Y/N harshly whispered, "Utter bullshit. I'm not close with him in any way, he's just my boss and I'm sure they just got into one tiny fight. I swear shit's gonna be back to normal tomorrow." With that, the two got back to work.

---

Shit did not go back to normal tomorrow.

Or for months after that.

Bucky's assistant never really came back, leading many to believe that she had quit. Bucky had become more moody and temperamental, while Y/N's crush on him had escalated to new heights which was frankly taking a toll on her mental health. "I can't keep living like that. I'll just quit and get another job."

Those were the words she had whispered to herself one night as she lay in bed, unable to fall asleep. Bucky, on the other hand, had come to realize that his assistant was right; he did indeed have feelings for Y/N and all he wanted to do was confess them to her and get it over with.

Realizing he couldn't have her and that she only thought of him as her boss had made him moody and angry. While walking from the elevator to his office he no longer greeted her; he couldn't even bear to see her, knowing she was never gonna be his. Y/N, of course, interpreted it in a different way entirely.

She thought he had broken up with his assistant because she caught them making out, and now he hated her for getting in between his relationship. That created a whole new array of problems.

"Hey, whatcha doing?" Rubie peered over Y/N's shoulders as she quickly wrote down her resignation letter. "I'm quitting." Rubie gasped. "You can't do that! Why are you quitting?!" she whined. "Number 1: He fucking hates me; number 2: I still like him and that's a massive problem so yeah, leaving this place is the only good option."

She stood up. "Well, I can't talk you out of it, can I? I'm gonna miss you, Y/N," Rubie sighed and the two ladies gave each other a hug. Then Y/N went to the new assistant's desk, greeting him with a small smile. "Hi, will you please give this to Mr Barnes?" She handed him the letter.

"What's this?" he smiled. "My resignation letter." The smile disappeared from his face, a frown replacing it. "Why are you quitting? Is everything okay?" She pursed her lips. "I'd rather not talk about it, sorry. Just give him my letter, would ya? Thank you." The man nodded and she went back to her desk.

---

"Hey, Ryan— what's this?"

Ryan turned to see Bucky glaring at Y/N's resignation letter. "Oh, sir, that is Ms Y/L/N's resignation letter." Bucky nodded and Ryan left the office. Bucky read the letter, his glare deepening by the time he reached the end of it. She hadn't even specified why she was quitting; it came out of the blue. I can't let her do this.

He couldn't just let her quit like that, he loved her for God's sake! "I'm not letting her go," he snarled to himself, getting up and walking out of his office. When he walked out everyone turned to look at him. "Ms Y/L/N, can I see you for a moment? In my office?" Y/N frowned but got up, following him to his office.

"What's this?" Bucky asked her, holding up her letter. "My… resignation letter?" Y/N replied slowly, confused. "Yeah, I know, I can read. Why are you quitting all of a sudden?" he huffed. "I'd rather not say," she mumbled, suddenly feeling anxious. "What do you mean, you'd rather not say? Did you get into a fight?"

Yeah, with you, idiot.

"No, sir."

"Is it pay? I'll give you a raise right now—"

"It's not that, Bucky. I— I mean Mr—"

"Bucky is fine. So? Is someone troubling you? Someone I need to fire?"

"No. I just want to quit, why can't you accept that?!" Bucky stood up, slamming his hands on his desk. "You have to give me a legit reason! Vague answers will not be accepted!" Y/N glared back at him and the silence stretched on between them. "Wait a minute," Bucky exclaimed suddenly, "I know what's going on here—"

"What could you possibly know?" Y/N quipped sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "This is about that whole Marie thing, isn't it? Y/N, plea—" "No, Bucky! It's not! Why can't you just let me quit in peace?!" she yelled, interrupting him. Months of frustration had finally taken a toll on her.

"Give me an answer and I'll consider it!" he thundered and she took a step back, shocked. Maybe telling him the truth would speed up the process, she thought. "Fine, you wanna know why? Because I'm in love with you. Yes, Mr Barnes, I fucking love you and I can't keep working here knowing you're never gonna like me back!"

"Y/N…" Bucky whispered but she ignored him. "No, you listen to me. You wanted an answer? Well, here it is. I know you hate me for ruining things with Marie and this is the only best option for the both of us!" Bucky couldn't believe his ears. All this time, she'd liked him back. He walked around his desk without her noticing; she was still rambling to herself.

"And why would you even like me back? You don't even say hello anymore—"

Y/N froze when Bucky's lips crashed onto hers, his hands going to her waist to pull her closer to him. A few seconds later she reciprocated, her arms going around his neck. Without breaking the kiss Bucky turned them and picked her up, putting her down on his desk. She wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Feels like we're in a Shakespeare play with all this miscommunication," Bucky laughed when they finally pulled away to breathe. "You like me too? But what about Marie—" He scoffed. "Marie and I were never a thing, she came onto me and I fired her. Before going she said something about me liking you…"

"So?"

"Well at the time I denied it but then… she turned out to be right. And after that, talking to you became difficult because I knew I could never have you, you'd never see me in that way… boy if we'd just talked." Y/N giggled, simply happy to be in Bucky's arms. "What now? What are we?" Bucky traced a finger down her cheek.

"Don't leave me. Please, don't go," he pleaded. "Bucky, we work together, it'll be extremely unprofessional. I— I'm ready to be your girlfriend but I can't work here anymore." Bucky sighed and dropped his head to her shoulder. "Fine, but just because you said yes to being my girl. I'm so in love with you too, pretty face," he chuckled.

Y/N wrapped her arms around his shoulders, smiling. "I'm glad to hear it." He suddenly pulled away, giving her a devilish smirk. "Wanna get outta here?" Y/N's eyes widened. "Wh— now? Bucky, we—" He scoffed. "I'm still your boss, you know, you do as I say." Y/N rolled her eyes. "Do I have to deal with this while being in a rela—"

"Let's just go," Bucky groaned, pulling her to her feet and snaking an arm around her waist as they both left his office, heading to the elevators. Everyone working that day looked up, their jaws going slack as they saw the two with lovey-dovey smiles, fawning over each other. Rubie simply smirked at her friend.

"Oh please, she's quitting!" Bucky rolled his eyes when he noticed the stares. Everyone then only shook their heads and got back to work as Y/N lightly slapped Bucky on the chest, sighing.

---

A/N: Thanks for reading, leave a like if you enjoyed!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #ceo!bucky #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

Text

in honour of the rawring 20s, more cringy things from my emo/scene phase, a semi-masterpost:

•putting the you me at six lyric “whose keeping a score of who is a whore??? i know you don’t!” as my myspace header in japanese…… so the girls in my year at school that i thought were “whores”, and didn’t like them bc of that, wouldn’t pick up that that i was aiming it at them. like being a weeb and a scene kid douchebag???? they don’t mix lmao.

•screaming “IF YOU HAD A SEX LIFE, A SEX LIFE WOULD YOU EVEN WORRY ABOUT MINE WHEN YOUR BED IS EMPTY???? YOU’RE A WASTE OF TIME!!!!” from the song sex life by d.r.u.g.s (destroy rebuild until god shows) through the halls of catholic school in year 10/2011 to try to ~subtly~ and bitterly flirt with my crush lmao. like honey. chill the fuck out!!!! you’re 15!!!!! not many people have a sex life at 15 anyway lmao

•my uh. jeffree star music phase in 2007

•i’ve mentioned this before but wanting to score my entire year 10 drama shakespeare monologue with emo music and my teacher having to block the idea constantly bc “it’s good enough on its own! i swear to GOD!”

•taking a studded belt to school on the 31/10/2009 bc i had to get ready for amity affliction at my besties house that day after school so we could head up to sydney that night for the concert. saying shit about having a studded belt made me hardcore and wanting to punch people in the face with it bc it was some dumb reoccurring theme i had

•watching the music video for one love by aiden on my ipod nano at school and telling everyone about jeffree star’s i hate you ring in the video and how if i ever had it i’d punch all the people i hated in the face with it….. and then they’d be branded for life with the fact that i hated them?????? like bro. i KNOW you are the embodiment of angsty harry potter from HP puppet pals. but literally!!!! calm the fuck down!!!!!!

•i’ve talked about it before, but breaking up with clear braces boy and immediately demanding him to “hurry up and listen to a day to remember bc they’re fucking amazing!!! and you know i’m motherfucking right!!!!”

•taking 3 hours to straighten my hair just to go swimming….. then like someone pushing me in a pool or the surf (if we’d gone to the beach) and RUINING MY PERFECTLY STRAIGHTENED HAIR AND MY AESTHETIC!!!! HOW DARE YOU????!!! you KNEW you were going swimming girl. why the fuck did you bother to straighten your hair anyway, lmao???

•the whole cringy thing of me wanting to work in the CD shop sanity just so i could play a bunch of emo music and have some cute heavily tattooed emo boy/guy in his skinny jeans, slouchy beanie/now gross beanie hat type thing and band shirt come in and mysteriously fall in love with me….. and then kiss me to “kill me in a record shop” by boys like girls… or like alternatively i’d be making out with my hot older emo coworker in the back to the same song or some other horny emo song anthem/s 😂😂 same went for JB hifi when they came along and started stocking all time low and cute is what we aim for cd’s 😂😂😂 the hot emo bro would also teach me to skate as a bonus hobby outside of work. like KILL ME NOW!!!!

• alternatively to the above, i’d just magically have a hot emo boy boyfriend who was preferably the singer in the band…. but also could play guitar and could hardcore scream really well….. when like the bulk of those dudes were literally in their 20s 😂😅. on this point, teen emo me believing that her liking 20something emo dudes who were covered in tats and piercings and wrote ~hella deep~ lyrics etc etc just apparently made her more mature than the girls in her year at catholic school who liked justin bieber or one direction (who were literally the same age as us lol). like girl no. if those older dudes hit on you, IT’S A RED FLAG!!!! FUCKING RUN!!!!

•wanting to take my edgy pop punk road trip to a town 8 hours north from where i am as soon i got my licence and stuff… also the whole moody thing about ~crashing my car just to feel again~ theme i had going on 2011/year 10 in my teen mental breakdown phase in regards to getting my licence bc i was so desperate to do something ~reckless~

•basically a good bulk of my high school statuses tbh

•me taking in the same 3 pics of the same 3 scene queens and hayley williams (and cassidy pope, once) into my hair dresser EVERY 8 WEEKS to get my hair cut just like them 😂😂 i even updated my facebook status in year 9/2010 once with “got hayley williams hair cut today :D :D!!!!” i swear to god my hairdresser got so sick of me taking those pics in lmao 😂😅

•stage diving at a local amity affliction show in 2010/year 9 and going straight to the fucking floor bc i accidentally jumped into a hole in the crowd…. but i suppose it’s bc i was the biggest wanker at the show bc….. before we went in, i was bragging hella loud about how “hardcore” i apparently was 😂😂

•using my hot topic dress in my year 10 drama monologue bc i thought its steampunk style was elizabethan enough when paired with my black marching band style jacket (that i used to imitate black parade era mcr) and a pocket watch that was a tiny moveable robot. and also my trusty red flanno shirt from jay jays

•wanting entire clothing lines from certain band members from certain labels. and most especially booty shorts with the persons name (most frequently a dude) plastered across my ass 😂😅

•wanting the entire mid2000s line of drop dead merch. also bbycks (baby cakes) and zumiez etc etc. also glamor kills.

•desperately wanting my bra to be on a mic stand of a certain band dudes mics (just why lmao)… or on certain band members mics lmao (also just why)

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona tries to be funny and relatable #ilona reminisces her emo phase #my little emo heart #my little emo soul #my little scene kid heart #my little scene kid soul #my little emo/poppunk heart #my little emo/poppunk soul #my little hardcore/post hardcore heart #my little hardcore/post hardcore soul

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juminsmysticmc · 3 years

Note

Here is the next idea: Rfa + minor duo A writer mc that uses them to help her plan out stories.

RFA + Minor duo with a writer MC that uses them to help her plan out stories

This was in my inbox for...a year? Thanks for waiting, I love you!

Jumin

,,I don’t understand,’’ Jumin laughed as he put on his blue uniform.

,,I need to see every detail of you,’’ you laughed, looking deep into his eyes and describing everything the best to make sure that your new book would turn out perfectly.

,,Well… why not feel every detail…?’’ he asked you, putting his arm around your waist and kissing your neck.

You were still taking notes of everything he did and every feeling he unleashed onto you.

Jumin already knew that you were like that.

He always had to help you to write out your stories and he was okay with it.

Actually, both of you had a bet.

He could only have you if he could manage to make you drop your notebook.

Indeed, Jumin always worked hard, but in order to make it exciting for you he always tried his best.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing to see a few private moments in a book which was a bestseller in the whole world, but you never said in the public that Jumin helped you out.

In your book, Jumin was a bodyguard who had to protect you. He was a politician who had a lot of dirty stuff to do and often played with people.

The story was actually you and Jumin’s life, just written a bit different and with mixed characters.

But whatever you would write, Jumin would always be proud of you.

Zen

,,Okay Zenny, you need to tell me every single feeling you are feeling on stage,’’ you said and began to type on the keyboard.

Zen couldn’t believe that he was your boyfriend, his manager, and girlfriend was actually a hobby artist who loved to write stories and actually used him to plan her stories.

Zen often said that the both of them were the perfect couple because he would always plan out her books, and you would always manage his schedule.

,,Okay, so, I feel scared but also excited. I can’t describe this feeling, but I feel as if my heart would break into 1,000 pieces out of my body.

I feel warm and cold at the same time. I feel like crying and laughing. I have mixed feelings up there.

I try to implant every single face of them into my brain to always remember my fans,’’ You never stopped typing.

The story you were currently writing was a story of a young idol and the world of show business.

You wanted to show the world that idols were human too.

That Idols could be scared, imperfect, fall in love, make mistakes and simply be themselves too.

And with your book, you already took the first step.

Yoosung

,,Am I something like your muse?’’ he asked you and smiled as he read your story.

,,Somehow,’’ you laughed and took a bite of your cake.

,,This sounds very like me,’’ he laughed and pointed at one line which actually made you chuckle.

,,Hey! This really happened!’’ he laughed again and looked at you.

And here again, the thing you always described in your books, in our stories.

The stars and love you saw in his eyes whenever he finished reading a scene and asked you if you really felt like that.

Indeed, this book had your feelings in them. Your thoughts and the way you saw Yoosung, the one who supported you the best when you couldn’t do anything.

When you failed at publishing your book, when you failed at finding a sponsor.

This book had a storyline no one could ever fulfill. It was your fairy tale with details of your daily lie with Yoosung.

,,Thank you,’’ you looked up when Yoosung spoke up.

,,Thank you for loving me and seeing me that way,’’ he went on.

,,I love you,’’ you whispered and kissed him.

Jaehee

,,Are you sure that you can handle that? I wish I could do more,’’ Jaehee said as she corrected the writings on the table.

,,Yeah. I mean, you already did so much: searching for a publisher, the money, it’s alright,’’ you smiled.

,,Indeed, Jaehee already did so much for you. She supported you so much.

And you were trying to thank her with all you could.

Writing a book about her, making her dream come true of opening a coffee shop; you did your best with everything.

And you knew that Jaehee did the same for you.

Both of you were helping each other with everything in your power.

,,Here, some coffee,’’ she whispered and put the mug next to you.

You stopped typing and inhaled the scent of the fresh brewed coffee.

,,I need to write this down and make a scene where my heroine doesn’t fight but just enjoys some coffee, just like me,’’ you laughed.

,,Ahahaha, well, this would be great,’’ Jaehee laughed.

You smiled.

Both of you knew that this scene would come some time.

After all, it came true for Jaehee: the time where all her dreams came true and with this book, you wanted to show the people that anything was possible.

Just like it was with Jaehee.

Saeyoung

It literally took your future husband a night to implant a virus in the whole korean industry to make people read your book, making you come out big in the whole world.

The phone was ringing ever since you got up and people began to spam your Instagram page.

The TV was filled with your name. Actually, it was kind of scary, but you also enjoyed the attention.

,,I kind of feel like people just read it now because I’m famous,’’ you said and played with your nails.

,,Nah, people don’t spend money on shitty stuff,’’ he said to encourage you.

You began to sit at your desk and begin to take some notes.

,,Do you need help?’’ he asked you and began to type some things in his laptop, searching for relaxing music for you.

,,Yeah, in book two, the secret agent in the first book was shot. Tell me how a bullet shot feels like and how to get it out. What does a private doctor look like and why do they help bad people?’’ you asked him, ready to use every single word he tells you in a few seconds.

And then he began.

Well, he had to assure you that he was never shot and that there was no way that he even had to visit a doctor who would never tell anyone about his medical record, but he could help you with the first chapter.

The character was based on Saeran and Saeyoung.

The bad people were actually based on V and Rika, but also your supposed father in law had a big role.

And so, with his support, you could write a fantastic chapter, and now that more people noticed you, the second book would be an even bigger hit.

Saeran

You were one of Korean’s most well known manhwa authors and were more than happy to share the truth about your story.

And of course, like always, whatever you did, everything was pretty close to the true events.

Well, at first Saeran was against it, but when Jumin read what you planned to do, he was for it, making Saeran change his mind too.

,,It may be a good way of bringing people to our side,’’ he nodded.

,,But, Mc, if I may, my character looks a bit plain and is described as a cat lover. Could you please change it into cat protector?’’ he mumbled and looked up to you, making Yoosung laugh.

,,And you really think that this can help us to find my brother?’’ he asked,making you nod.

,,I’m positive,’’ you assured him.

Later in the evening, Saeran laid next to you, looking up to the ceiling.

,,Are you scared? Should I drop it?’’ you asked him.

,,No, I just had to think about it… how you see me. I’m not this strong. People will get the wrong idea. I can’t do anything alone, I -’’

,,You came this far. This book is saying the truth. Everyone sees you as a strong man, Saeran. So do I and so will my readers. Trust me, please…’’

And with that, both of you fell asleep in a warm embrace...

Jihyun

,,I can’t describe how happy I am to welcome you all today,’’ you said, looking into the crowd of your big party.

This was already the third party you organized ever since Jihyun was back, with the difference that today you guys had a special occasion.

,,I would like to thank you for this long lasting support, without you all, I couldn’t have possibly been able to write this book.

And I want to thank my muse, the inspiration of this book, who didn’t just help me, telling me more about his mind, and letting me publish this book, but he also helped me with the books layout and it’s cover; a self drawn picture by my Fiancé,’’ you said as Jihyun smiled at you from behind.

You wrote about mental health, inserting everyone’s thoughts with Jihyun’s put in first.

How to help someone and how to help if a person itself feels worried and confused about all those feelings and thoughts.

You wanted to help people just like Jihyun tried to help others.

,,Now, let’s enjoy the party and please keep supporting us!’’ Jihyun said and held his glass up.

Looking around yourself, you thought that you did the right thing.

Everyone had their own way of helping others and that was right. Still, you hoped that you could change something and make the sun shine a bit brighter.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

16.04.2020// 22:17 MEST

44 notes · View notes

zero-mins · 4 years

Text

TOO | butterfly tattoos pt. 1

members: chihoon, chan, jaeyun, j.you, kyungho, jerome part 2 coming soon!

chihoon

you’d post a picture of you and him together at the beach

you’d get a lot of nice comments about how cute the two of you were and how stunning you looked in the sun

but instead, your mind focused on the nasty comments

“is that a tattoo?”

“ah.. so you’re that kind of girl”

“he’s dating her?”

the post had only been up for a day but after reading those comments you decided to take it down

chihoon would ask you why, but you’d lie and make up an excuse

he’d know you were lying though

he managed to read those comments before you deleted the post

but he wouldn’t say anything about it

he didn’t want you make you feel worse

but you were obviously hurt

so he’d do something to cheer you up

one day you’d get an instagram notification:

[ chihoon has tagged you in a post: “my favorite part of you” ]

on the first slide would be the picture that you took down

and on the second slide there’d be an audio recording

his voice was hard to mistake

you loved how his voice got deeper whenever he sang

you wouldn’t realize that he was singing a song he wrote for you until you heard him sing your name

all the pain you’ve been holding in for the past week would become too much and you’d burst into tears

that’s when the door would bust open

“omg i didn’t mean to make you cryyyy”

and chihoon would run over to you and pull you into a hug

he’d put your head on his shoulder and rock you back and forth while he tells you how much he loves every part of you <3

chan

chan would try and hide his tattoo from you

not because he was ashamed of it, but because he didn’t want to seem like a bad guy and scare you

he’d have to mentally prepare himself before he decides to show it to you

your eyes would grow wide at the whale tattoo on his arm

you’d trace your finger over it, feeling the ink on his skin

he’d watch you intently for your reaction

you’d bring his arm up to your lips and plant a kiss on his tattoo

then you’d take his chin in your index finger and thumb and pull him forward to peck his nose

“it’s beautiful.”

he’d get so happy that his face would literally light up

like his eyes would form actual crescent moons

he’d pull you into a hug so tight that you almost couldn’t breathe

then he’d proceed to plant kisses all over your face

it wasn’t the reaction he expected, but it was the reaction he wanted

and because of that his love for you grew 1000000 times more

after a couple of months, you’d decide to get your own tattoo

he'd tell you about his experience getting a tattoo and talk you through the whole process

you wanted to get a matching whale on your arm, but chan told you to get something meaningful to you instead

he’d hold your hand during the whole inking process and make sure you took a break if the pain became unbearable

afterwards, he’d take you on a drive and get your favorite food

and then you’d watch the sunset together while eating the food you bought

“beautiful.” he’d whisper under his breath as he admired you in the golden sunlight

jaeyun

at first, you’d keep your tattoos a secret from him because you didn't want him to see you differently

but one day 👉🏼👈🏼

you two would watch a movie on the living room sofa 👉🏼👈🏼

he’d be the big spoon >:3

he’d pepper kisses on your shoulder and rub circles on your back

his hands would then trail down to your hips and he’d wrap his arm around you

that’s when he’d spot the three blue butterflies tattooed along the side of your stomach

"is that a tattoo?" he’d ask, pulling up your shirt to take a closer look

oh shit-

you’d panic a little and hastily pull yourself away from him, almost falling off the sofa

but he’d catch you just in time

he’d look at you weirdly

sigh.

you’d then begin to explain to him why you never told him about it

you’d probably talk way more than necessary

you might even trip over your words a couple of times

jaeyun would play with your hair while listening to you

he wouldn’t know how to react afterwards

he’d ask if he could look at your tattoo again, and you’d let him

his fingers would dance over your inked skin

he’d smile to himself at how pretty they were

out of nowhere, he’d plant a kiss on your cheek

“you’re not mad?”

jaeyun could never get mad at you for having a tattoo and not telling him

he’d be more mad at himself for making you feel like you couldn’t open up to him about it

“your tattoos are just as pretty as you”

jaeyun would decide to ditch the movie to know more about your tattoo

he’d ask what it meant and when you got it and basically everything about it

and you’d get tired from talking and accidentally fall asleep

so jaeyun would just admire your butterflies while you slept peacefully in his arms

j.you

it’d be your fifth anniversary with j.you

the both of you had never dated anyone this long before

so you figured you were soulmates

you decided to get matching tattoos to celebrate

you’d spend weeks looking at pictures of tattoos on pinterest, trying to find a design you both liked

finally, you’d settle on getting a butterfly tattoo on your wrist

you expected the inking process to be painful, but you would barely feel any pain

weak pain receptors huh

still, j.you would hold your hand the whole time

then, it’d be his turn

unlike you, he’d be wincing in pain

he wouldn’t stop wiggling around in the chair

you’d find it cute, but only until you noticed the tears welling in his eyes

poor bby didn’t want to cry in front of you :(

but you’d still catch the tear that rolled down his face

he’d get so embarrassed and try to hide his face in your neck

afterwards, you’d take care of him at home

you’d lay his head on your lap and draw circles on his forehead to help him relax

he’d start apologizing for embarrassing you at the parlor

but you’d laugh and tease him for being so pain tolerant instead

he was really grateful that you were there with him

he couldn’t imagine getting a tattoo on his own

he’d sneak a kiss onto your lips while you weren’t paying attention

“i really do think you’re my soulmate, y/n”

and then he’d pull you into an even deeper kiss owo

kyungho

kyungho wouldn’t keep secrets from you

and you wouldn’t keep any secrets from him

except for one:

you had a tattoo

it was a really small one though — a monarch butterfly hidden behind your ear

you didn’t think he’d ever find it

but he would

and you’d get into a big argument over it

“what happened to not keeping secrets from each other?”

he’d storm out, leaving you teary-eyed and confused in the middle of the room

you’d try calling him but he wouldn’t pick up his phone

you’d wait by the door for hours but kyungho never returned

it’d be almost 2 in the morning before you decide to head to bed, too tired to wait for him any longer

but then you heard the door open

the room was completely dark so he couldn’t see you when he stepped in

when the lights switched on, you’d instantly make eye contact with him

his eyes and cheeks were all puffy

he didn’t expect you to stay up and wait for him to get back

he’d run over and wrap you in a tight hug

he was only gone for a couple of hours, but it felt like years

you’d cup his puffy cheeks in your hands and squish them, making him giggle

“i missed you.”

"i missed you too.”

you’d apologize for keeping a secret from him

and he’d apologize for getting mad at you

he’d make it up to you by carrying you to the bed

where he’d shower you with kisses and whisper sweet nothings to you until eventually you fell asleep

he’d leave a kiss on the butterfly behind your ear before pulling you closer to him and falling asleep with you

jerome

you wouldn’t have the will to commit to getting large tattoos

you’d have a lot of small ones instead, littered all over your body

jerome found them really cute

he’d love finding new tattoos on your body

he was still a minor, so he couldn’t get tattoos of his own

which also meant that he couldn’t go to the tattoo parlor with you

that sucked.

because in reality, you can’t handle the pain of getting a tattoo on your own

usually you’d bring one of your friends with you, but this time you had to go alone

and god did not have mercy on you

after enduring almost two hours of pain, you’d be surprised to find jerome waiting outside the parlor for you

he was going to surprise you by taking you on a nice coffee date, since he knew that you were going alone today

but once he saw your teary eyes :(( his heart would break in half

he’d hold your face in his hands and ask if you were okay

you’d try and hide the pain, but he wouldn’t believe you

he’d kiss your forehead

“okay, change of plans: we’re going home and i’m gonna take care of you.”

once you arrive home, he’d make you sit on the couch while he brought all the blankets and pillows from the bedroom to the living room

he’d lay the blankets down on the floor and arrange the pillows around it

then he’d sit in the middle and pat the empty space between his legs, signalling for you to sit there

he’d wrap his arms and legs around you as if you were a giant teddy bear

and the two of you would watch a movie together, with you safe and sound in his embrace

i’m making this a two-part series!!

63 notes · View notes

theastrophilearchitect · 3 years

Text

I started writing a book.

And I’m mad about it, because I just started this post, brought up a new tab and lost it because I didn’t save my draft.

Anyway. That’s a thing I did. Wow.

As of this moment, this post won’t be going up until April 19th, but I’m starting writing this at 10.30pm on Sunday, February 21st, 2021. I’ve done a lot in the last couple weeks, and I want to have some record of all I’ve accomplished without just letting most of it fade over the next two months.

I’ve always wanted to be an author. From when I was reading under my covers with a torch past bedtime, through the years I wanted to be an artist, through the years I wanted to be a lawyer. It’s always been there - no matter what primary career path I went down, I wanted to be an author. The last few years, I’ve been invested in becoming a biologist, and that dream really took a backseat.

In the start of this lockdown, my mental health went downhill, and some advice my therapist gave me was just to prioritise myself. It sounds simple enough, but, even in my free time, I’d been focusing on schoolwork - revising constantly for exams I’m still not sure are actually happening. (Boris Johnson is apparently making an announcement tomorrow about beginning to ease lockdown, but we’ll see) So, on Saturday, February 6th, I started an attempt to coalesce the ideas I had floating in my head into something tangible.

I’ve tried to write books countless times (not technically countless - I have all the documents on my laptop, so I could if I wanted to), but mostly, I’ve never gotten further than a couple bare plot points and some characters, maybe some ideas for subplots, before I’ve stagnated and given up.

Three times, I’ve finished a skeletal outline. Twice, I’ve started to go back over those outlines only to realise they made no sense or just seemed week, and simply not cared enough to fix it. Until now, I guess.

February 6th, 7th, and fast-forward to my week off beginning the 15th, up until the 19th, I kept developing this concept I’d managed to form, but I was struggling to establish a coherent plot. I had up until and including a midpoint (which was later condensed into just a first act), but everything after that was just a void. I began searching for some skeletal structure I could apply to it, both to work on pacing and fill in the blanks. I tried several, and got a little further, but was about to give up hope.

Then I remembered a video by Katytastic I’d watched years ago about the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter structure she used, and couldn’t see the harm in giving it a go. And something clicked.

You can find the video here - the structure’s detailed and easy to follow, plus she even gives an example of using it to generate a plot.

I started binge-watching her writing vlogs in the background, and even started using her same writing program, Scrivener, which just made every a thousand times easier by taking away the need to juggle a billion Word documents. It’s fairly pricey, but I’m currently using the 30-day free trial - it’s 30 days of use, not of ownership, too: if you use it every day, it lasts 30 days, but if you use it once a week, it lasts 30 weeks.

Where Kat used the 27 parts the structure broke down into as chapters, I chose to refer to them as beats, and separate chapters later.

On Saturday the 20th, I finished defining my scenes and started writing an actual draft. I wrote two scenes, putting me at a collective word count (not including notes, synopses, etc.) of 2,580 words.

This morning, Sunday the 21st, I started over. I hated my opening. I’m not going to go through the mess of today’s process, but I currently have around 80 one-line-outline scenes, split into 3 acts. I wrote a draft of my prologue and detailed-outlined (which I’m mentally referring to as zero-outlining because it’s similar to how Katytastic does what she calls a zero draft, but is very much outlining, not a draft) two and a half other chapters. Scriver also tells me how many words I wrote in total, across notes, character profiles, location lists, a document I’ve named ‘Train of Thought’ for my ramblings as I go etc.

Today, I wrote a grand total of 4,141 words, which, rather counterintuitively, puts me at a draft total of 2,598. That makes sense. Anyway.

There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and I have no idea how much time I’ll have in the next six months to invest in this project, but I’d like, at bare minimum, to have one complete draft by the start of the next school year in September, which gives me just over 6 months. Which is probably too much time to actually motivate myself, but that’s not the point.

A manuscript needs to have a minimum word count of 50K words to be considered a novel, so, even though my ultimate goal for this project is around 80K words, 50K is going to be my goal for this draft.

I’m being optimistic about sticking with this.

Tuesday 23/02/2021 - Word Count: 3,099 I wrote nothing yesterday; planning to focus writing solely on days off rather than work days, but last night, watching through the incredibly long queue of Alexa Donne writing videos, I came to the conclusion writing every day, even just a little, would be the best way to ensure I keep working on this, so I set myself a goal of just 500 words a day.

Wednesday 24/02/2021 - Word Count: 5,350 After doing a little bit of maths as to how long this outlining and draft would take me if I were to only write 500 words a day, I decided to boost that goal to 1,000. I got started around 1pm today, online school draining me so much I couldn’t face another two hours. I worked on and off until 6pm, and around 4.45pm, I finished outlining Act One!

Thursday 25/02/2021 - Word Count: 7,022 I continued my scene outlining into Act Two, but I hit a brick wall around the midpoint. I have to write chronologically - some people jump around, but I have to write linearly, or it feels like I’m trying to make something in a void. It just doesn’t work. I didn’t know how to get from one scene to the next - there were so many things I needed to establish to get there, but I didn’t want to backtrack. I decided to re-jig the whole thing, but, after dinner, I realised I didn’t have to, and instead, decided to just start a draft, conscious of the things I need to establish as I go.

Friday 26/02/2021 - Word Count: 8,208 Starting draft one, I rewrote the prologue I’d already written, technically putting me to my second draft of it, because I’d been thinking about it for days and just wanted to revisit it, and it was so much better. Then I moved on to chapter one, but decided I wanted to re-jig my chapters. While outlining, I’d split the whole book into only about twenty chapters, but decided to go for shorter ones for more effective divisions of the story. I got most of the way through the first scene of chapter one, but basically ran out of both time and motivation, since I hadn’t heavily outlined that scene. in total, I wrote over 2000 words today, but because I only increased the prologue word count by about 100 words, it didn’t do that much to the total count.

Saturday 27/02/2021 - Word Count: 11,050 I got some chores done Saturday morning and focused on finishing my book so I could include it in my February wrap-up, but I still had time to get some writing done around mid-day. My goal was just to hit 10K this weekend, but I though I could do it in one day. I wrote about 1,000 words before feeling a little word-drained, but took a break for lunch, got back to it and wrote 2,400 words. Though that only added a little over 2,000 to the word count, it took me to 10K! I’m 20% of the way to being able to call it a novel! We’re in quintuple digits!

And then eight hours later, I wrote another thousand words and got to 11K.

Sunday 28/02/2021 - Word Count: 13,722 I spent most of my Sunday morning writing, though it took me more than two hours to write about 1500 words, though it only added about 1100 to my count. I decided to set myself an overall and weekly deadlines to hold myself accountable. Due to the fact I don’t yet have a clue how many words this will work out as, I decided I wanted to have either a complete first draft or 100K words (which I doubt I’ll reach, but it seems like a good way to make myself finish the draft before my deadline) by the end of April. Which works out to a little under 1500 words a day, or just under 11K a week, which is perfectly doable. Bearing in mind my current word count is including outlines, but I still believe in myself.

I wrote another 1600 words later, which took me to 14K, until I deleted the 300 word outline I wrote for one scene, but I worked out my words per day for the next two months with the assumption of a 10K word count as of March 1st and a target of either a complete draft or 100K words by the end of April, so I’m nearly 4,000 words ahead of schedule. Which gives me 6,606 words to write this week, instead of 10,328. (If you couldn’t tell, I like numbers. They just make sense to me.

Monday 01/03/2021 - Word Count: 15,005 I didn’t quite hit my daily goal, but I was completely leached of motivation today, I’m ahead of schedule anyway and I was only under by less than 200 words. It’s alright. But, hey, we hit 15K! Two days after hitting 10K!

Tuesday 02/03/2021 - Word Count: 21,119 This was an insane writing day. My end-of-day target was only 16,480, and that was still ahead of schedule - if I was sticking to the 100K by April 30th, I’d only actually need to be at 12,950 today. This was the best writing day I’ve ever had. I wrote before school and during breaks, which kept both my writing and working momentum up.

I didn’t read a page of my current read, but I wrote a total of 7,681 words and increased my wordcount by 6,114 words, or literally an additional 40.75%. I hit 20K three days after hitting 10K, and am 42.238% of the way to being able to say I wrote a novel, be it a shitty first draft that won’t be complete at 50K words.

I also finished chapter three, which I’ve been working on for three days and came out ~5,000 words, and wrote chapters four and five in their entirety.

Note to self: this is day 10 of vaguely outline-drafting this project.

Wednesday 03/03/2021 - Word Count: 23,364 I've only written 490 words today, as of writing this update, but I just wanted to make note of the fact I've done some calculations, and can reasonably finish my draft this month. I'm still not completely sure how long it'll work out to be, so I can't quite work out my daily words to finish on the 31st, but if I stick to my current 1,475 words a day, I'll hit 63,894 words by the end of the month, which is a little less than I imagine this draft will be, but if I stick to that as a minimum, my first draft won't have to go into April.

I'd like to post this later this week, but I already have a post for this Friday, so God only knows how long this will be by the time it goes up. So far, I've written 1,900 words today, and I don't think I'm out of fuel yet, but I'm stopping because I need to read today, and I'd rather not burn out. I'm over my goal, anyway.

Oh, also, I'm nearly at 25K, which is halfway to a novel, but I haven't broken into Act Two yet, which means this book will be 75K minimum. I'm going to do some maths and work out how many words a day to hit 80K by March 31st. 2,030. That's doable. So I haven't read, but back to writing for like ten minutes.

I've now hit an additional 2,245 words for the day, though I wrote a total of 2,663

Thursday 04/03/2021 - Word Count: 25,415 I've decided to work out how many words I need to write each day to hit 80K by March 31st, and watch the fluctuations. (I like statistics). It should steadily go down throughout the month if I surpass it each day. Today's minimum word count is 2,023, already seven words less than yesterday's. How exciting.

The last scene of Act One was very heavy on world-building I haven't yet figured out, so I stuck what was meant to happen in brackets and just moved on, meaning I have now broken into Act Two!

I think, during the week, I'm going to focus on just meeting my minimum word count rather than exceeding it, just to save fuel for the weekends, when I can write so many more words.

And, we hit 25K! I'm halfway to a novel!

Friday 05/03/2021 - Word Count: 26,693 In complete honesty, I'm beginning to lose momentum. Maybe it's just today, but I don't really want to write and feel like I need a break, but I'm going to make myself write anyway. I'm going to make myself keep writing until this draft is done, however shitty it may end up. I really hate first drafts.

When you say 2,000 words is only 7-8 pages, it doesn't sound like that much to write per day but my god. Luckily, most of the stuff I've had to save to a Pinterest board called 'Writing Motivation' says if you write when you don't want to, it should pass instead of worsening. I wanted to hit 35K this weekend, but I'm not sure I'll have the momentum. I'll at least hit 31,270, though, which is my minimum goal for this week. I'm still over 700 words off my goal for today, but I'm taking a break because my head is foggy and there's still eight hours left in the day. Besides, 700 after dinner is easy. She says, realising she's probably jinxing it. Oh, well. 80K by March 31st would be difficult, even if I weren't going back to school soon, but that's a stretch goal. 100K by April 31st is my minimum, and I'm 9,000 ahead of where I need to be for that.

I think I’m stagnating because I’ve hit the ‘Fun and Games’ section, which I find really boring. I’m going to try to keep going with it, but I may just skip it and come back later.

Saturday 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 So, I did not get the extra 700 words in. Before dinner, some stuff I had to deal with came up, and by the time it was done, I just wanted to go to bed, so I did. Today, I'm going to try to make up for it, which I think is reasonable because it is now the weekend. I'm still kinda exhausted this morning, but I'm going to do my best, and my wrist hurts, but I'm not sure why. You'd think it would be from all the typing, but only one wrist hurts - you know what? Never mind. They do both hurt. I'm just not sure why, but it doesn't hurt typing this, so that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, to hit my word count for the day, I need to write 2,555 words, which doesn't sound like too much, but it kinda is because I'm primarily writing Act Two at the minute, and for every thousand words I write, I lose like 400 from my outline. You'd think I'd just not include my scene outlines in the word count, but it's too late for that now.

I'm thinking this over, and I really don't think trying to write 80K by the end of the month is going to be good for either my motivation, mental health, or ability to function back at school, so I'm going to stick to 100K or a finished draft by April 30th, and re-work out my goals from there, based on yesterday's word count, so I'm not making myself do catch-up today.

So, to hit 100K by April 30th, I only need to write 1,309 words each day (which will decrease over time because if that's my minimum now, I'll probably surpass it, decreasing the amount of words left etc.). That's so much less pressure.

God, I really don't want to write today. I just want to watch YouTube and Netflix and read.

Okay, so here's the thing. I've been working on this story straight for three weeks and I'm kinda exhausted of it. I'm not done with it, not at all, and I want to keep working on it because it exists, which makes it workable.

I watched a writing vlog by ShaelinWrites yesterday, and she said she writes different projects at once, alternating in week- or multi-week-long blocks. I think I might try that.

My plan with this post and the following updates was to keep updating it until the day it goes up, the day after which is when I begin drafting the next, but, since I may be switching projects for a while and this is really about the project I've decided to dub 'Bay Tree' (which is just, I guess, a pseudonym for here because while I have no idea what it would eventually be called, I know that's nothing like the title I'd want to give it) so I'd want to start a new post for a new project.

I'm now doing a little outlining instead of actually continuing writing, but I think this will help me, though I'm still not certain about whether or not I'm going to directly continue with this specific project for the minute. Instead of setting daily goals based on a target, I'm also just going to say 1,000 words a day, and see where that takes me.

I've just been outlining into Act Three, and I've met a major plot stumble, but I'm going to work that out and explain what I'm doing in my next writing update.

So, go drink some water, eat if you haven't eaten in the last few hours, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are and how much happiness you deserve, and, if you want to write a book, stop thinking about it, and go write.

#blog #blogging #blogger #blogpost #blog post #writing #books #book #reading #read #write #writer #author #draft #first draft #story #writing blog #writerblr #bookblr #novel #debut

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 4 years

Text

2. REBIRTH

Rule 1: The human whose name is written in this journal shall die.

This was someone's handwriting. Probably some bizarre joke or elaborate social experiment. "What the fuck is this," Erik mumbled in disgust staring at the words. Someone's sick sense of humor? He reclined in his leather chair waiting for someone to tell him he was being recorded. Looking at the office phone on his desk, he anticipated the ring. At any moment, Gloria would call up and he'd return the prop to whatever production, laughing it off while refusing to sign the release. He checked his watch. Any minute now. His fingers drummed on the desk in wait.

In the meantime, the first few pages of the journal had been ripped out. Whoever dropped this book had obviously taken out what they didn't want to be seen and they'd left instructions on the inside of the front cover along with some foreign symbols, symbols Erik had never seen before.

Rule 2: This entry will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.

"An elaborate prank," he mused. "Someone has way too much time on their hands." Flipping through the blank pages, he closed the journal and tucked it into his black Burberry London suitcase. Out of sight, out of mind. Reawakening his computer, he decided to split his new tasks into smaller responsibilities and divvy them out to his staff including the task of updating the user control panel for the network. He could be home in time to surprise Mika for dinner afterall.

🎶 I spent my whole life tryna make it, tryna chase it/ The cycle of a black man divided, tryna break it/ You take a loss, shit don't cry about it, just embrace it/ Minor setback for major comeback, that's my favorite/ My nigga L said, "You do a song with Nip, K. Dot he a better Crip"/ I said, "He a man first, you hear the words out his lips?/ About flourishing from the streets to black businesses?"🎶

Turning off the engine, Erik let down the garage door and exited the vehicle walking through the front door of his Rockridge craftsman home. "BABY," he called stripping off his black wool blazer to drape over his arm. Immediately he heard footsteps rushing in his direction before his woman appeared, colliding into his chest.

"Oh Captain, my Captain," Mika swooned. Her glasses were fogged and her auburn dreads were in a messy bun on top of her head. Her eyes were dewy and mildly pink. He shook his head, putting it together.

"Again?"

"It was either this or go to the protest and you forbid me to go. Besides, it's like therapy for me," she sighed. "Dead Poets Society and Good Will Hunting.. Don't look at me like that. I needed to be elevated! Too much bad news," she frowned. He knew exactly what she was feeling. He felt it too. He followed her into the kitchen where his plate sat covered in aluminum foil. It was still warm since he wasn't late like she'd expected. Kissing Mika on the forehead, he draped his blazer on the back of his chair and set the table, opening the bottle of Pink Moscato he'd purchased on the way home to pour two glasses.

"Tell me about this case."

"Well I told you about the police brutality. You've probably seen the hashtags by now. Erik? I wanted to cry. I took this job to stop shit like this and now it's happening right under my watch in my city. I knew that cop, Erik. And now when I look at him I wonder what that badge means to him--What mine means. Without it, would he shoot me like he shot that boy?"

Erik chewed silently, letting her question hang in the air. They both knew the answer, he didn't have to speak it and make things worse.

"I had a horrible case aside from that.. I've been trying not to think about it, but--" she sighed rubbing the deepening crease between her brows. "I saved a little boy today.. he was eight years old and now he has to go into the foster care system because his dad killed his mom and his sister. I-- I was too late to save them."

"You saved one and to that one, it makes all the difference."

"Now that we have the father in custody, he and his lawyer are claiming that the murders were due to a mental illness and he's got the prior diagnosis to support it. If he gets off in court because of this, I will scream. Erik, I will shoot him myself. He took a baseball bat to a child's head, Erik. A twelve-year-old girl."

Laying down his fork and knife, Erik stood walking around the table to squeeze and rub Mika's shoulders, smoothing out the balls of tension. Her head rolled and she exhaled, her body relaxing. His lips pressed gently into her jaw and he dropped to one knee, pulling her fork from her hand and grabbing both of her hands in his.

"Mika? You are great at what you do and no one could've done it any better. You saved a boy's life today and you didn't kill the other two, he did. That's on him, not you." He kissed her knuckles as her soft eyes gazed upon his. The rest of dinner went by with lighter conversation. He let her go on as long as she needed to talking about Robin Williams and his therapeutic presence in cinema and after doing the dishes, it was time to retreat into his office as was his usual routine.

He booted up his computer and logged into his emails. There were four new ones of importance relating to business. His work was never done it seemed. Reaching into his black suitcase, he pulled out a gold-colored flash drive, but paused when his fingers touched the spine of the leather journal. Who wrote this shit?

Rule 3: If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen.

Rule 4: If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack.

Rule 5: After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.

He had to take it in. The cursive semed to be written in something similar to ink but not quite. "These dumbass rules." Imagine someone sane coming up with something as ridiculous as this.

The black pen on Erik's desk shined, daring him to pick it up as his eyes flickered between it and the blank page. Nah, Erik, chill. You buggin out right now.

Erik grabbed his computer mouse, clicking to wake the computer. Clicking onto his favorite internet browser, he typed in the name of the boy who'd been shot by the cop earlier in the day. Jayson Miller. Noting various tweets, posts, and videos, he paid especially close attention to the protest that was happening in the neighborhood. Police were lined up and it was a matter of time before the National Guard got involved. He searched to find the name of the cop who'd shot Jayson but his name was protected. He decided he'd watch through the videos instead. That didn't turn up much.

An idea struck him. He knew he probably shouldn't, but the fact that he could do it and get away with it made him do it anyway. From his computer, he dusted off his old skills from high school and early college, cracking into Mika's work assigned computer from his own. He was able to easily hack the police database and find the cop on duty when Jayson got shot. Picking up the pen, he jotted down the name.

Phil Mathers.

He'd seen the guy a few times himself. Phil seemed the type to do something questionable for a few bucks and a vacation. Reading the report written by Phil himself, it read like the typical "he had a weapon" rhetoric of fear. It was as good as an admission of guilt.

"Fourty seconds to die? We'll see."

He waited for the report to come of Phil's death. Anything. Then he realized, he probably wouldn't hear about it so soon. He decided to cruise the internet in search of another current crime before stopping short realizing the most obvious option. Holding his pen, he wrote the second name.

Ronald Clump

Counting down silently, he leaned back in his chair to watch his screen. He'd refreshed the page and clicked around about six times.

"Well, guess that settles it.. This some old bullsh-"

The President of the United States suffers a heart attack. 9:22 PM.

The pen dropped from Erik's hand rolling into the floor as he gaped at the screen. A quick search showed two more sources confirming that the president had indeed passed.

"What the fuck? Nah. No. This isnt real. That was a coincidence, his old ass was in his last days. No." Jumping up, he paced the floor in disbelief. "He was gonna die anyway, it wasn't me." Stroking through his beard anxiously, he looked over to the journal sitting open on his desk. It was impossible. It didn't make any sense. He had to try it again--just to see. Because no way did this old journal have anything to do with what just happened. That would make him a murderer.

One more time.

Shutting down the computer, he moved to the bathroom he shared with his girl, showering, brushing his teeth, and running the electric massager through his scalp. When he got to bed, Mika was sitting up watching a stream of the protest. He gently took the phone from her hand exiting the stream and placing the device on a charger. He could feel her annoyance. If she couldn't be at the protest, she wanted to at least see it to feel that she was there. "Give your mind a rest, Mika. You've consumed enough death and destruction for a day." That seemed to give her pause as her face turned thoughtful, a small sigh releasing.

"You're right," she conceded laying on her side. He climbed into the bed beside her, looking her in the eyes. "Erik, I'm tired."

"I know. So am I."

A kiss on her forehead led her eyes to shut and soon he felt that she'd drifted off to sleep. After fifteen more minutes, it was clear that she had. Lifting from the bed silently, he walked into the closet pulling a pair of North Face joggers and a matching hoodie. Over the hoodie, he wore a black North Face vest and and black leather Saint Laurent Lenny sneakers. The journal, he tucked into the vest with a pen clipped inside.

While Mika slept, it was time to put the journal to the test. He swept downstairs and through the front door pulling off in his matte black Audi R8. Destination: Fruitvale.

Tag list: @muse-of-mbaku @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @blackpantherimagines @vikkidc @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers @cccccx1 @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent @fd-writes @soufcakmistress @ju5tp34chy

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #black panther #black panther fanfiction #black panther killmonger #tchalla #death note

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years

Text

Honey Tea

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff

; Word Count: 2.2k

; Synopsis: A bad day is always made better by something soothing and warm, which is exactly what you get in the form of Jung Hoseok.

; A/N: Just something I wrote as I was feeling a bit down and wanted to be cheered up with Peppermint Hobi <3 just like honey tea, he’s soothing and calming. Obviously this is part of the Peppermint world. It’s unedited but whatever.

Today had been a crap day. A really, terrible day that had made you just wish that you could go home, go to sleep and get to tomorrow already. You didn’t even really have an exact reason to blame to justify why it had been a bad day. It was just one of those where everything went wrong.

You’d struggled to write an article that Taehyung had suggested to you this morning when you’d found yourself at a complete writer’s block. It had only been after you’d managed to slog through half of the article that your computer had promptly died and it hadn’t bothered to autosave for some god forsaken reason.

And then the deli down the street messed up your order and gave you cucumber for some god forsaken reason. In the whole time you’ve worked at Poppin’ Culture, you have never asked for cucumber. For good reason! The very smell of it makes you gag, so you’d been just delighted to have to almost throw away $5 worth of food because cucumber is an insidious food which infects anything it touches with its taste.

Jimin had been highly amused by your disgust and had traded you his lunch instead, happily eating your tuna salad with cucumber while you got stuck eating a sad cup ramen that didn’t even taste good.

Then you’d discovered that there was no peppermint tea left in the kitchen to make the drink that calmed you down the most, leaving you furious for the rest of the afternoon. To top it all off, Hoseok hadn’t been at work all day due to being at a gaming convention with the games team to help record videos there.

All you really wanted right now, was to curl up with your boyfriend on his couch and watch him play one of those RPG games he adores so much while you munch down on the delicious pizza he can get delivered from that place near him.

Instead, you’re stuck on your own couch wrapped up in a blanket in some ratty old pyjamas that look terrible but are comfy. And your food option is going to be mediocre Chinese from the restaurant down the block that you can never quite tell if you like or not. But you can’t be bothered to cook, because all you want to do is slob on the couch and watch a box set of something.

Not Breaking Bad, because you really just can’t get into it despite all the critical acclaim and Hoseok begging you to just watch it.

Instead, you’ve clicked onto Sabrina on Netflix and begin rewatching the series from the start. Neither you nor Hoseok had quite known what to expect once you’d started watching it, yet you’d both been pleasantly surprised with what you’d seen and had devoured the second season when it had arrived.

You only get five minutes into the first episode when your doorbell rings, causing you to pause Netflix and scowl at the door. Who the hell is coming by your apartment at this time and why are they interrupting your brooding time?

Groaning quietly, you stand and shuffle over to the door while wondering if maybe you’d ordered something. You normally get your stuff delivered to Hoseok’s lately as you’re there more often than not and his neighbour is nicer than yours.

Yours just likes to bitch at you and moan because they’d taken a parcel, as if you’d asked them to defend the nation or some bullshit. So it was just easier as Hoseok’s neighbour liked you and constantly tried to feed you cookies every time you went over. It was honestly to the point that Hoseok pouted a little at the attention you got, leading to you giving him half of the cookie every time.

Unlocking the door, you pull it open just enough to peer through with a moody face before you practically light up with happiness. Swinging the door open, you let out an excited noise before rushing forward to wrap your arms around your boyfriend, who laughs and holds the pizza box he’s holding in the air to prevent you from knocking it to the floor.

The boyfriend who should not be here but instead hundreds of miles away.

“Hobi! What are you doing here?! You’re supposed to still be at the convention!” You rush out, looking up at him with a grin as your chin rests on his chest. Already you feel better, just feeling his solid warmth in your arms and the comforting scent of him.

“Well...they decided that they weren’t going to film tomorrow as it was the last day. So there was no need for me to be there and I got the earliest flight I could.” He’s shuffling you into your apartment slowly, a strange little dance that involves him trying to keep you upright as you seem to be refusing to let go of him.

It’s only when he gives you an exasperated look, his eyes wide behind his glasses while he presses his lips together to try and hold in a laugh that you finally let go, hands moving off him hesitantly before you stand back with a pout.

“But you love those conventions, and that means you could have just spent tomorrow looking at all the cool games and playing them. Didn’t you say that erm...what’s it called is going to be there and you really wanted to play it? Err...Last of Us?” You could barely remember what he got excited over as he got excited over a lot of stuff, but this was a game you didn’t understand why he liked it. It was horror, and he didn’t do well with horror.

Yet he still loved it and went on about it constantly to you.

Hoseok moves past you after kicking off his shoes and heads into your tiny living room, shrugging off his backpack onto the floor before sitting on your couch. His apartment is bigger than yours, and you miss it intensely as he sits there. There’s something oddly comforting about all the nerd memorabilia of his place, making it look far more lived in than your place.

“It’s there, yeah. But I wanted to come home to you. Jimin messaged me this morning and said you’re not in a good mood so...yeah.” Your earlier bad mood seems like a distant memory now and you want to just sit on his lap and kiss him silly, the shy happiness at him voluntarily giving up something he was excited for to come home to you almost threatening to overwhelm you.

How anyone could dislike this sweet man was beyond you.

Sitting next to him, you accept the slice of pizza with a tiny thanks before you find yourself leaning against his shoulder and sighing heavily. He doesn’t say anything, just takes a bite of his own pizza and lets you stew for a few minutes before you take a bite of your own.

It’s from the place near him, the one that you’d been craving about and suddenly you’re feeling a little bit overwhelmed. The days emotions and stresses finally crack and you sniff pathetically, tears rising as you look down at your pizza slice as if it might have all the answers.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Hoseok asks softly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you tightly into him as he puts his slice back down before putting yours down too. Soft lips press to your forehead and he’s shifting you till you’re as close to him as you can get, legs laid over his lap. “Did something bad happen? You didn’t say anything in your texts?”

Shaking your head, you burrow your head into his neck and inhale him deeply. His innate sense of calm that he always carries with him is soothing right now, his hand making long and relaxing strokes along your back and you feel safe.

“It’s dumb, it’s just...I’m just being stupid. I just...everything felt like it went wrong today and I got super upset and stressed over it all. I’m just...overreacting.” You say pathetically, trying to reassure him that it was just you being silly over it all. Thinking back on it, you certainly felt like you’d over-reacted and felt a little embarrassed that Jimin had even messaged him about it.

Hoseok doesn’t say anything for a moment, just holding you close before he lets out a quiet and rests his cheek against your head. You let your fingers trail over his Pokémon shirt, long since used to his pop culture related fashion.

“Don’t say that, and don’t think that. If you were feeling stressed and upset, then you were feeling stressed and upset. You don’t have to justify it to me or even yourself, okay? Sometimes you just have bad mental health days, and that’s okay. I’m not going to laugh at you, you know I’m the last person who would do that. Obviously things have just piled up for you and today is the day you’d had enough. Are you still upset?” Lips pouting almost childishly slightly, you shake your head as best you can with it jammed between his shoulder and jaw.

“Good, do you want to talk about it?” He lets the question hang in the air and you ponder for a moment, wondering if you actually want to talk about anything or not. Eventually, you shake your head once more before leaning back till you can look at him.

Up this close, you can see almost every pore on his face from the tiny red dot that’s evidently a spot forming to the slightest bit of stubble on his upper lip. He has a ridiculously slow hair growth on everywhere except his damn head, where it grows like lightning and he has to get it cut at least once a month. But facial hair? The man can go days with only the slightest growth.

And he’s quite evidently been lax at the convention, leading to you running your finger over it with a teasing smile. “No, I’m okay. Honestly. Nothing to talk about, just...me getting a bit stressed and I think I missed you more than I realised. I feel okay now, I swear.”

He shifts his head away from you with the slightest scowl, his black rimmed glasses sliding down the elegant slope of his nose a bit more at the movement while his dark hair falls into his eyes, causing him to shake his head once more. Just as you’d said, he needed to get it cut already.

“Okay...but if you want to talk-” You cut him off by reaching up to cup his cheeks, running your fingers along the still smooth skin of his cheeks and squeezing until his lips purse out in a pout. He’s giving you a rather unimpressed look with his eyes, but you know he’s amusing you to make sure that you’re okay.

“No, I’m fine. I just want to eat pizza and cuddle with you. This, us, it’s what I needed. Thank you for coming back early.” Whispering by the end, you let one hand drop while the other plays with the collar of his shirt, running along the edge until you reach his black hoodie.

He sighs before kissing your head again and taking your hand, interlinking your fingers and playing with it carefully. “You’re welcome. I’d rather be here with you than in a room full of people I don’t know. I don’t like going to them without you, it’s just too much noise and people and...yeah.”

Smirking at him, you lean up to kiss at his jaw teasingly. “That’s sweet. I hope you were okay while there too. And I’m guessing the fact that you can get sex here has nothing to do with coming back either right?”

Hoseok is sputtering, his cheeks turning a bright red that rivals when he’s drunk as he looks all around the room and his free hand running through his hair nervously. “W-wha-what, no?! That’s not w-why I c-came back! I love you, that’s why! The s-s-sex is...a bonus.”

“I’m kidding, I doubt you even thought of that. But I will say that I love you, and thank you for thinking of me. It means a lot.” You lean forward and grab both pizza slices before feeding one of them to him, not even sure which slice was who’s anymore.

He watches you warily for a moment before accepting and nodding slowly. “I’m always thinking of you so, no need to thank me. And I love you more.”

“Are you wanting sex or are you trying to butter me up to let you play that game I don’t like again?” You eye him, narrowing your gaze on him as he steadfastly refuses to look in your direction even as you can see him trying to press his lips together.

“Sex?”

“Oh, you so want to play it don’t you? I hate it! Why can’t you play it when I’m not there?”

“Because I like playing games with you! And I like it!”

“Fine, but only because you brought me this pizza.”

“I love you.”

#armiesnet #networkbangtan #btscreatorsnet #btssunshinenet #hoseok fluff #hobi fluff #j hope fluff #bts fluff #hoseok drabble #j hope drabble #bts drabble #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #peppermint hobi #peppermint hoseok

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onisiondrama · 4 years

Photo

PART 18 - videos #34 &35

(Click here for video mirrors) - These are not my words or thoughts, I’m just summarizing what Greg / James is saying in his videos. Apologies for any offensive language or comments that may appear. - I am not repeating stories anymore and will replace these stories with brackets describing what he’s talking about. If you don’t know these stories you’re going to have to go back and read previous parts or watch his previous videos.

asking you [deleted?]

- He’s asking you to do something because he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to. He forgot to crop the top of a screen shot and he lost his Patreon, Younow, a couple other things, his twitch was temporarily suspended. He can’t do much to defend himself so he’s asking people to not be a sheeple. Look closely at what Sarah said in the beginning about grooming and photos and look at what she said recently. This is how you expose a liar. Their story changes based on their emotions and not reality. Classic BPD. Sarah’s twitter might disappear because of this video. [Threatened him, laughing at burning house, cocaine, prescription drugs] Document all these facts for him. She got a lawyer to silence him. Download all her videos about Greg and Kai. All someone would have to do is show them in court. Boom. Conflicting statements. When nothing adds up, you lose the court case. He asks you to make a video of all her statements. - He wants people to research. [She went after him because his BPD video.] Someone on discord said everyone involved has BPD. Greg says Billie doesn’t. The person says it seems like Billie just does what everyone tells her to do and agrees with them even if it’s not true. Greg says Ayalla has BPD or bi-polar and is Billie’s best friend. When Social Repose was threatening to expose Ayalla if she kept hanging out with Greg, she was running around crying. He doesn’t know if Ayalla will admit this, but she was marching around in his basement doing the sieg hail while saying the n word. He says she might be Jewish so he doesn’t know if that’s ok. Greg says he’s speechless. There were witnesses. Billie and Sarah saw it and Kai might have been there too. Greg says he dressed up as Hitler for a comedy sketch and has done the sieg hail as that character, but the hard r. He says he’s bleeped out “nidder” to sound like he’s saying it. - They have a text from Sarah saying it’s funny Ayalla is going after them when she tried to get Sarah to starve herself and sleep with her. This whole thing is a mess. - You can get this info yourself. You can look back at everything he said about Shiloh in the last 8 years. He says it’s weird Shiloh is older than Kai. - Someone wrote to Greg about when Shiloh was talking about BDSM, Greg doesn’t think their relationship was BDSM. He wasn’t into the collar stuff until Billie. She was the first person he explored that with. She was cool about it, even the basement thing until he broke up with her. This person said listening to Shiloh aroused him and he couldn’t control himself. Greg says that’s weird and he can’t use that in a video.

the episodes

- Greg announces he has things to do today so he doesn’t have a lot of time. - He was written again by the guy that gratified himself after hearing someone’s story about their relationship with Greg. This person offered Greg $250, Greg doesn’t know why. The guy’s email pointed out it’s weird everyone who is talking about the past seems so satisfied with themselves and not very sad about it. Greg says it’s weird Sarah created a twitter account just to attack him. You have to ask yourself what a victim would do and what someone who’s malicious would do? Would a victim start a twitter to obsess over and attack someone for 6 months? Probably not. [Real victims don’t want to talk about it, blah blah] It’s not like anyone who has PTSD from going to Iraq want to talk about how they accidentally shoot a little boy in the desert. One of Sarah’s first tweets was “I F-ED ONISION.” He says a real victim’s first tweet would be “please respect this. I’m talking to the police or a lawyer. I need to keep this private to keep the case integrity intact.” Going on a tirade of hateful tweet after hateful tweet and laughing at this person’s misery is what she did. [Laughed at his house burning, she said she would assault him.] Says a real victim might threaten to assault someone, but not laugh at the thought of someone’s house burning down. - Apparently a pizza delivery guy’s name was Greg and Sarah recorded herself telling him he has the same name as her ex boyfriend. She told him he was cuter than her ex, then gave him the tip. This is obviously not normal behavior. - Person in the email points out Chris Hansen’s dissatisfaction when Sarah admitted nothing happened when she was underage. Apparently Hansen was very upset about that because his whole thing is catching people who do things with underage people. When the main person who is behind all this is saying nothing happened when she was underage the whole thing would fall apart. - Greg has a theory you guys are dysfunctional or you would have seen the signs of Sarah doing things victims don’t normally do. You don’t go around bragging about it. You enabled her because you wanted it to be real, You need to look in the mirror and see what you’ve done. You raised tens of thousands of dollars paying a liar, good job on that [sarcastic]. - Multiple people sent him all of Sarah’s tweets so he could use them in court. He hasn’t reviewed them yet or the streams because they're painful to look at. That’s what people normally do when they don’t feel good about someone. They don’t start twitter and obsess over them. They want to avoid that person, that’s why he kicked her out of his life. - The person in the email said they gratified them self after hearing Shiloh’s story. Greg says that’s weird and odd, but this person told Greg what Shiloh said and that was the first time he heard it. [He broke up with Shiloh, she cheated, baby] Ever since then she’s been creepy with him. Shiloh, Sarah, and Billie apparently have been very good with keeping up with him, which is weird. Move on already. - He says apparently Shiloh said they would do it three times a day. Greg says that’s accurate, but then says it’s not. The first time they met, they had sex 8 times in 12 hours. The second time, he was moving to Canada for 3 months, they slept together 7 times in one thing. He was puking orange juice because he had too much vitamin C. She was rubbing his back and was very sweet and considerate. Says Hansen implied BDSM, but he doesn’t remember being kinky with Shiloh. He just got out of a marriage with someone who he barely slept with. - Greg says there is a person on adult sites who always rolls her eyes back and has seizures from the joy her body’s feeling. That’s what Shiloh would do all the time, which was crazy and awesome. Shiloh would tell him it was insane he could keep going and going with her. That was intense and cool. The first girl he was ever with and Shiloh had a weird thing in common. At some point they would zone out while doing it. [He demonstrates] He would ask if they’re ok and if he should keep going. They would tell him, “yeah, keep going [in a whisper]”. Greg says it’s weird, like they’re taking a break. That’s why he doesn’t know what anyone’s talking about with BDSM. That’s the weirdest thing they did. - Greg says there’s a similar video to the fake seizure video, the video where Shiloh keeps saying she loves him while pretending to be in an altered state. If you watch it you can clearly see something is mentally wrong. If a therapist or a psychologist looks at the footage they could probably diagnose her. It was one of the weirdest things in the world. She portrayed it to be real. He thought it was partially fake, that’s why he recorded it. Back then he was one of those Youtubers who would film anything because he wanted views. - There was another video where she reverted back years in her life and acted like she didn’t know who he was or where she was. If you see these videos, you know they’re fake. She’s very good at pretending. He recommends you watch them all to build a mental profile and realize there’s something wrong with her. [cheated, baby, Aliana] - Chris Hansen was willing to believe the most nonsensical stuff because he wanted something to be there. People watched Billie, Shiloh, and Sarah. He doesn’t know how people feel about Billie. They were upset she was boring because she didn’t have enough dirt, probably because she doesn’t have BPD. Sarah and Shiloh most likely have BPD. Sarah was on meds. If you look up Shiloh’s last boyfriend, he went in depth about what she did to him. [He went to jail, text got him off.] You see a lot of intent and evil. [Not how victims behave, he dumped them, malicious] It’s obvious when you look at it for what it is. Get woke.

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schweeeppess · 5 years

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Do you have any angsty fic recommendations? I feel like ripping my heart out for no reason and figured you'd have some good recommendations

OH BOY DO I EVER!

(Dick & Tim & Jason) theyve broken me by Princex_N

Retraumatization is a conscious or unconscious reminder of past trauma that results in a re-experiencing of the initial trauma event. It can be triggered by a situation, an attitude or expression, or by certain environments that replicate the dynamics (loss of power/control/safety) of the original trauma. Being forced to talk about your trauma before you're mentally ready to do so can also be a trigger.

Jason agrees to talk to Bruce about the circumstances of his death and resurrection in Batman and Red Hood #20, at serious detriment to himself.

If you mention angsty fics, you literally cannot just not mention this one. I cried so hard reading this, it’s not funny. It breaks your heart into shards then stabs you with them, and bruh. I just. 1000/10

(the batboys in general) When the Stakes are Higher by keeptogethernow

There's a new serial killer in Gotham, and he's managing to evade even Batman's attempts to catch him. The psychopath's inclinations have Bruce on edge, but Jason's not as worried...until it becomes personal. But when even the world's greatest detective is at a loss, will their efforts be enough to prevent another tragedy in the Wayne family?

Not as angsty as the last rec, like at all! It’s very suspenseful though, and there is quite some angst, but it’s not as bad as “theyve broken me”.

(Dick & his brothers) the man with guns for eyes by 8sword

“Don’t blame him, little D. He gave me a choice.”

"He always makes it a choice," Damian mutters. "If you’re the one who makes the decision, it’s your fault if it’s the wrong one.”

(Dick comes back from the dead.)

Oooooh, boy, this one had me crying hard in just the beginning! It hurts! Very, very bad!

(Tim & Jason, mostly) New Alphabet by AllumetteRouge (RedRaidingHood)

Tim had hoped to have the manor (and Alfred’s cooking) for himself today. Only, there’s a fourteen-year-old Jason and a whole lot of trouble waiting for him.

Again, not as bad as the last one, but it is angsty--like real angsty--at certain points.

(Tim & Dick & Bruce, mostly) (You) Forgot About Where it All Began by Qais

Bruce is back from his jaunt through time, but his sons are not okay. Jason is aggrieved on Tim's behalf, and he isn't going to stay quiet about it.

This one makes me cry, too, and I just. It’s so emotional, at least to me.

(Jason & Tim) Tightrope by Acxa_Kogane for Kyra_Marmora

Time passed with baited breath as the gentle wind swept through the void, lightly pressing against Tim's outstretched fingers and playing with his hair.

The two who stood at the beginning of the rope never took their eyes away from the one that was floating above the shadows.

Then, the careful steps began to slow, and suddenly stopped altogether.

I CRIED SO FUCKING HARD AT THIS ONE, JUST LIKE THE FIRST AND THIRD RECS. I WAS LISTENING TO THIS SONG AND WAS JUST SOBBING. HHHHHHHHHHHHH.

(Jason & Tim, mostly) Stages of Deterioration by aradian_nights

After Bruce finds Jason Todd, catatonic and traumatized, miraculously alive on the streets of Gotham, Tim, Dick, and Barbara attempt to fix their broken brother. AU for Invasion.

Horribly angsty at many points, this one gets ranked right up there with recs 1, 3, and 6. 1000/10 breaks my heart and actually made me cry a little during certain chapters.

(Damian and Tim & Jason) It's Not Poetic by the_authors_exploits

There is laughter in the air, and tears in their eyes; because it's all a ploy, a facade, and people fall for it all the time. Until it becomes too much to hide and the laughter fades and they can't ignore it anymore. PLEASE READ THE TAGS

I will absolutely never not recommend this fic, unless the tags are triggers for you. Otherwise I adore this fic--it is definitely one of my sheer favorites--and highly recommend it.

(Jason & everybody) The Calling by LananiA3O

Three years after escaping from prison, after almost complete radio silence, Jason heeds a call for assistance from Batman. When he disobeys a direct command in order to save more lives, old issues arise again, and Jason finally has enough. It is time to set the record straight...

This one will run you over, stomp on you, slam a piano on you, then stab you straight in the heart just to make sure you’re crushed and dead from angst. You will cry. You will grieve. I recommend it.

(Dick & Jason) these things define you by Miisakee

Jason and Dick go to fight a gang and it all goes downhill from there.

Another one of the lesser angsty fics! It is still very, very angsty, so be reassured you just might cry. Maybe. I can’t remember if I did.

(Bruce & Jason) Morning Sun by Lilfunny for drakefeathers

Between his death, resurrection and subsequent replacement, Jason Todd just really needs a hug. Or maybe he just needs his dad.

AHHHHH THIS ONE I DID CRY FOR! SO EMOTIONAL! BROKE MY HEART AND HIT ME IN THE GUT WITH A CROWBAR. I CRIED. MOST CERTAINLY RECOMMEND.

(Jason & Tim) It's Not That Funny by Ionaperidot

“I’m sorry I killed you, Jay," Tim says. "Please don’t be mad at me.”

Jason sighs, raising his head slowly. “You are not handling the Pit nearly as well as I thought you were.”

After Tim kills the Joker, Bruce sends him across the country with his parents, where he'll be safe. After Jason finds out, he tracks him down to visit. It's all going pretty well until Ra's al Ghul gets involved.

Okay, you really really need to be careful with this fic. There is very unhealthy coping mechanisms, several suicides, several murders, Jason lets Tim cut and burn him so he doesn’t do it to himself... It can be extremely triggering, so I strongly suggest you be careful before deciding to read this. It’s so utterly heart shattering. It makes you so very sad.

(Dick & everybody) If Night Falls in Your Heart by WithTheKeyIsKing

Dick never knew how to tell his family about what Tarantula and Mirage did to him, so he simply didn't.

That solution works, until it doesn't.

Hoo, boy, this was written by a friend of mine and she did not pull her punches as she wrote this, I’ll tell you that. I fucking cried. This one hurt and it hurt bad. This fic and the next rec both deal with Dick’s rape, so be advised.

(Dick & Jason) When I Needed You by firefright

On the night Blockbuster dies, Dick goes through one of the worst experiences of his life. But this time he's not alone, this time someone comes to save him. Someone familiar, though he doesn't figure that part out until much later.

Grahhh, I hurt so bad when I read this, and every time I come back to it I ache. It’s so heart-wrenching and emotional and I just--hhhhhhh. Recommend! If it’s not triggering, of course.

I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I WAS MAKING THE LIST THEN MY PAGE REFRESHED AND I LOST EVERYTHING SO I HAD TO START ALL OVER AGAIN AND I DIED A LITTLE BUT HERE IT IS! HERE YOU GO NONNIE! I’M SORRY THERE’S ONLY LIKE A FEW RECS BUT IT’S ALL I COULD REALLY FIND.

I HOPE YOU ENJOY!

#ask #anon #anon ask #fic rec #fic recs #hoooo boy do i have many angsty recs!#some have rather dark themes tho #so be careful 💙

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ianalizz · 5 years

Text

So You’d Kiss me?

Harry and Annalise have been friends for a while. She of course has a crush on Harry ever since they wrote a song together the first time they met. One day, their friends foolishly decide to play spin the bottle, without Annalise. Lets see how that goes.

Hope y’all enjoy! <3

---------------------------------

I wake up to the sound of my alarm that I forgot to disable now that it's my day off. I love my job. It starts a noon and I can work however long I want. I go to the studio with my writing ideas. It's a beautiful process and I thank my friend, Nick, for the job opportunity, but I need a day off. I groan and shut off the belligerent alarm immediately. Yet, it still manages to capture the attention of my roommate, Stella, who bursts through my bedroom door. "I'm sleeping." I state in a mono-tone. She scoffs and jumps on my bed, causing me to jolt a bit.

I look over my shoulder and see Stella smiling from ear to ear as she makes herself comfortable on my bed. I look to make sure she doesn't have shoes on. She has sat on my bed with shoes on too many times and I've yelled at her about it every single time. No shoes, good. However, she is fully dressed unlike me who is in a giant tee, underwear, and messy hair. "Na, guess what?" She chimes. I close my eyes and snore rather loudly, but that leads to her throwing a pillow at my face.

"Oww, okay. What?" I whine.

I sit up and place the pillow in my arms, cuddling it while she says, "Harry's back in town." I stiffen my posture at the sound of his name. My heart flutters a bit and I can feel every bit of my body tingle. How does he do that to me even when he isn't in the room? We’ve known each other for almost a year, how am I still weak over him?

I try to play off my awkwardness and grab my water bottle from the night stand. "Oh?" Is all can say before chugging the water to quench my dry throat.

Harry, Stella and I have been friends for about a year now. Stella and I met two years ago when I moved to Cali and found Stella putting up looking for roommate posters.

One day, Nick wanted me to help him write songs in the studio. While in our writing session, Harry accidentally opened the door and awkwardly tried to back away, apologizing. "Nonsense, Harry." Nick said. "You're always welcome. This is Annalise, we call her Nani or Na." I shook his tattooed hand. Nick smiles at the interaction, "Do you want to help us write?" Harry looked at me as if he wanted my permission and I gave him a reassuring smile. He helped us write for hours and even recorded a rough draft of the record before we sent it off to some new boy-band.

After our session, Nick had to go home to his whining wife and I had to meet Stella at a nearby coffee shop because she wanted to vent about her big shot office job. Before I left that day, Harry catches me in the hall and took my hand in his to turn me towards him. He towered me before asking, "Would you like to grab lunch or something?" His pink lips were just asking to be kissed, but I didn’t want to assume. With his grip still on my hand I smiled and told him I had plans with Stella. "But you can join us." My eyes look up to his green ones and I couldn't help, but blush. Especially when his thumb caressed my knuckles softly.

"I'd love to."

We ended up having a great time in the coffee shop and decided to have a movie night in Stella and I's apartment. Some wine, popcorn throwing, and Harry's favorite movie, The Notebook filled the night along with endless laughter. Since then we all have been close.

Stella shoots me back into reality when she takes away my water bottle. "Heyyy!" I complain.

"You're not listening to me." She huffs. I pout before she continues to speak. "I was thinking we can roller skating and get some pizza with the rest of our friends. We haven’t been in the same place in a while." She looks on her phone for, I think, nearby skating rinks. My groan fills the room before I get up from the bed and stretch. "What was that for?" Stella asks.

I slip on my shorts and lightly say, "I just hate roller skating." I turn to Stella, who is frowning. "But you guys can go." Her frown was still prominent on her face as I pass her to go to the bathroom in the hall.

She follows me with her shoulders hanging low, "I want you to come." It's almost as if she pressed a button and turned on her baby voice. "Why don't you want to go? It's like you and Roger are trying to make me upset today." Roger is her boyfriend of six months and they are pretty great together. Other than the fact that they both laugh a little too loud at 2 am.

I didn't want to reveal the fact that I have a fear of roller skating ever since my sister-in law broke her wrist due to a really bad fall. "Roger isn't going?"

"No and don't change the subject."

"I just don't want to deal with the cameras and fame on my day off." I shrug as the lie falls from my lips. "You guys go and come back for pizza. I just need to relax." While brushing my teeth, she finally gives in and decides to leave me alone in the apartment before chirping a "Bye loser." I chuckle, stepping into the shower.

After my shower, I clean my room and straighten out the apartment while dancing and singing in my underwear. Feeling free after days of work, I even decided to make popcorn, place chips in bowls, and make some dip for when my friends come.

Still jamming to music, I lose track of time and hear the door slam, turning to Stella and Harry in the doorway, smiling at me. I look at them wide eyed before turning off the music. My cheeks flush as Stella and Harry hang their jackets on the coat hanger and step toward me. I clear my throat before saying, "I-I'll go order pizza."

I bite my lip in embarrassment and slip past them and into my room, but not prior to Stella saying, "Maybe put on some pants too."

Then Harry chimes in, “Or don’t.”

Rolling my eyes, I close my door slowly and place my face to my hands. "Dammit." I whisper to myself.

I call the pizza after putting on my ripped jeans, oversized grandpa sweater and my burgundy socks. Now fully clothed, I step outside gathering the attention of Harry, who stands up from the couch. I look around for Stella, but she's nowhere to be found. "She went to take a phone call." Harry says. I mouth an "ohhh." I finally take in the man before me. The pink lips, the emerald eyes, and the perfect hair. "I missed you, Styles." I smile.

He returns the favor and grabs my hand, just like the first day we met, but instead of holding it, he pulls me into a warm embrace. I nuzzle in his chest that's covered by a warm black sweater, drenched in cologne. My hands snake around his waist and rest there for a while. His chin rests on the top of my head as he says, "I missed you too." Wrapped around me in a secure way is his arms that do not loosen their grasp. His scent overwhelms me in a comforting way as he says in a soft voice, "I'm sorry the cameras are too much sometimes." I mentally scream. He wasn't supposed to know that.

I retract from his grasp, "No, no. I-I didn't mean that." We let go of each other completely. His brows furrow. "I just really hate roller skating." I say making my way to the kitchen to grab a drink.

Harry follows me and leans against the island while I pour some wine for us. "You hated cliff jumping, but we still went." He argues taking the glass and taking a gulp.

I sip after stating, "I hate skating more." I roll my eyes as I pour more wine into my glass as Harry scoffs in disbelief.

"Listen if the cameras are the real reason…" Harry starts.

I cut him off quickly, "It's not." My voice raises a bit, but Harry's one to challenge.

"Then what is?" His voice a bit louder than mine.

I breath in heavily before yelling, "I'm f*cking scared, okay?" Harry's face drops into a state of confusion as a knock on the front door appears. Harry and I stare at each other intently. I break eye contact to answer the door after the second knock.

The short ass pizza guy stands at eye level with me as he struggles to get the pizza out of his bag. Suddenly, the elevator dings and I hear familiar laughter and chatter. The group of loud guys and giggling girls make eye contact with me while smiling brightly. After the whole shouting match with Harry, I have to falsely smile in return. They make their way in; Nicky, Alex, Kalliope, Connor, and Mia. We’re all pretty close because Mia and Connor work at a bar where all 7 of us hang out. Each day we were there, we got closer and closer. When Harry was done being a busy bee, I introduced him to the group and they all got along with him.

As soon as I bring in the pizza, Stella comes in to grab a slice. Her loud chewing diminishes in the kitchen where everyone is talking about the fall Kalliope had encountered at roller skating, while Harry and I just stare at each other. “Yeah,” Kal starts, “I think I bruised my butt, but it was worth it.” I walk to the armchair next to the couch, not wanting Harry to sit next to me. Stella asks, "What movie are we watching?" She plops onto the couch, oblivious to the scene prior to her entrance, and Harry sits on the other end, closer to me. Kal sits on the floor in front of me while Nicky and Alex took the floor in front of Stella. My eyes glance toward the kitchen where Mia is poking through our fridge. “Nani, you pick since you didn’t skate today.”

All eyes are directly staring at my face, “No, just pick anything.”

Stella settled for 47 Meters Down. The action movie captivated my attention of course and I tried to focus on the movie, but my eyes got heavier and heavier by the minute. Soon, the voices and movie sounds disappear and I drift to sleep.

Once my mind starts to wake up, my body takes a while to catch up. I hear my friends still in front of me yelling ohhhhh and ouuuu. Finally, I lazily put my hands to my eyes and rub them before opening them fully. With my blurred vision, I can see my group of friends sitting in a circle, surrounding a shiny object on the hardwood floor. The shiny object slowly turns into a complete figure; a bottle. Immediately, I’m pissed because they finished my bottle of wine, but my eyes capture something else.

Harry and Stella, kissing while everyone cheers them on. Harry’s eyes flutter open during the kiss and looks directly at me. They widen as I get up to go to my room. He breaks off the kiss and says, “Annalise, you’re up!” His surprised tone makes Stella jump a bit before she turns to me as she uses her fingers to fix her red smeared lipstick that matches Harry’s mouth.

"Clearly." I mutter under my breath. "I just woke up and thought I'd transfer to my bed." I smile through the pain and turned toward the hall.

“Wait, we’re playing a game. Would you like to join us?” He says.

I don’t respond and instead dart in to my room and lock the door. As I crawl under my sheets, my salty tears keep me company. There were plenty of knocks on my door, all from Harry, throughout the night. I was "sleeping". I'm pretty sure he left after the fifth knock, along with the others.

I don't blame Stella or Harry for what they did. They don't know what I feel. I don't even know what I feel. I just know that it hurt seeing her lips on his.

The next morning, I woke up extra early to get out of the house quickly. I'm not trying to avoid Stella, but I just don't feel like lying today and saying that last night's actions were alright with me. Especially if she's going to ask me to not tell Roger.

I make it to the studio at exactly 8, where I thought I can do some writing alone. However, as I enter the room, I see a figure in the corner looking out the window. Of course.

Harry turns around as I opened the door. I offer him a fake smile and he gives me a pitiful one. "What are you doing here?" I ask, placing my stuff down.

He walked toward me and gives me a friendly embrace, but I just let him. I don't hug him back. I don't know, the idea of his body touching me right now makes my blood boil and my cheeks flush. "I thought I'd get some writing done today. What about yourself? It's pretty early."

He lets me go and I swiftly turn around to the piano and grace it with my fingers, "Same." The silence between us cut short when he says, "We were drunk." Looking back, he continues, "We were drunk and then we started to play spin the bottle and I really didn’t want to, but it would have been weird if I joined once you woke up." He rambles on, but I give him a confused look.

I hesitate before saying, “Why would you join after me waking up?”

He bites his lip as if in deep thought. I raise my brow, urging him to answer. “I don’t know.” His words rushed, but I didn’t want to force an answer. “Do you forgive me?”

I sigh, "Harry, there's nothing to forgive."

Now standing before me, looking down at me, he says, "Your two best friends kiss and you're not upset?" He looks almost disappointed that I'm not giving him more attitude or a consequence for his actions.

I hop on top of the high table to be in the same eye level as him, but he still has me by a couple inches. Bravely looking at him and his mesmerizing eyes I say, "No, because I'd kiss you too." Shit. His beautiful green eyes widen as I regret my words.

Harry, clearly taken back, says, "You'd kiss me?" His grin slowly, but surely creeps on his face.

I think wisely and shortly before deciding to answer the question with a question. "What makes you think I wouldn't?" My palms sweat and my fingers grip the edge as he rests his hands flat on the table leaning over my face, merely centimeters away.

He chuckles and blushes before looking down and saying, "I didn't think you'd like me like that." Skepticism painted clearly on my face as he looks up. "Ya know, cause of all the cameras and fame. And you didn't even want to come see me skating yesterday." I throw my head back and groan.

He’s smiling when I regain eye contact. "Harry, do you really think I care about those things?" I smile in disbelief. "I didn't want to roller skate because my sister in law broke her wrist skating and I'm scared that'll happen to me. Or worse. What if I land on a knife?" He laughs and I join him.

We settle down after our fit of laughter and he leans in closer to me and takes my hand in his, "Well, If you ever do decide to go roller skating with me. I'll be sure to hold your hand." I smile at the kind gesture we have always overlooked, but now has a greater meaning to it.

Licking his pink lips that have been tempting me since the day we met he says, "So you'd kiss me?" I could almost feel his lips on mine. Before I could answer, he leans in fully, shocking me a little. My arms make their way around his neck as he wraps his around my waist. We detach our lips, but nothing else. We take a moment to look at each other, breathlessly and at each other's mercy, cherishing the moment where we finally get to taste each other. "Of course, I'd kiss you."

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dorky-arsene · 5 years

Text

Day 3 -- Reunion

@shuakeweek

Welp, here’s the Day 3 entry of mine, using “Reunion” as the main sort of theme and “Meeting” as a secondary theme! This time, I feel I’d rather go with a fic. Also, kinda-sorta major spoilers for Persona 5 under here, since the endgame context is needed for this one. :p

Uhh, consider this one a Teen-rated fic, I suppose.

The first time Goro had ever met Akira, was because of that cat. It was pure chance his ears caught those words, and he realized upon retrospect that maybe he shouldn’t have heard them, yet did so anyway.

A voice like no other he’d heard rang out that day, and the thing he’d heard clearest was..

“...I wanna go to that pancake-looking place we passed on the way here!”

He’d decided on a tiny detour, as he knew the building just well enough by now to check out whose voice had spoken. The detective soon heard more talking among the group of people he heard chattering down the hall, so he kept his hold on his briefcase and kept going.

Yet, when he reached that bit of hallway at last, wanting to inquire about the pancakes thanks to his hunger, Goro lost his train of thought for a few moments. A distraction, as he’d called it in those days, presented itself to Goro. He locked eyes for the few moments he’d fallen silent with another teen, one of the three he saw in the hallway. His eyes seemed to Goro like a brewing, quiet storm behind his glasses, a tone of grey the detective only really saw on days a thunderstorm hung over Tokyo like uncertainty on his mind. The teen’s hair seemed akin to a bird’s nest, but was a very good shade of black, shining like a polished diamond in the lighting of the TV station’s otherwise bland halls.

Goro mentally shook the distracting attractiveness of the boy out of his mind temporarily to greet the teens, consisting also of a young woman with a hoodie around her waist and crisp blue eyes and platinum blonde hair, as well as a more rule-breaker sort of teen around the same age as the dark-haired one, with thick eyebrows and clearly dyed-blonde hair that turned out the color of a bright golden yellow.

“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help noticing your uniforms,” Goro settled on, recognizing the plaid all three teens wore. “Are you students of Shujin Academy?”

“Yeah, whatddya want?” asked the blonde male teenager, turning to him. His shirt was bright red, a little distracting, but much like any punk on the street Goro would hear about.

“Ah, well..” Goro began, walking forward again before continuing. “I happened to be passing by, so it seemed polite to greet you. We’ll be filming together, after all.”

The blonde-haired female teenager seemed to open her mouth to speak, but to Goro’s own surprise, the teen who’d caught his eye first spoke. “I think my homeroom teacher told me. You look familiar.. I’ve seen you on TV a few times.”

The voice of that teen seemed much different than the voice Goro had first heard, and it just further made the brunette so curious that he walked forward again, plopping himself in a way into the very middle of the three teens. A foreign, but not unpleasant, fluttering filled Goro’s heart at being told he was familiar, but he smiled pleasantly as always, to hide the strangely mortifying feeling of being known already to someone he’d practically just met who happened to be attractive as hell.

“..Hah, where are my manners? My name is Goro Akechi,” he said, instead of clarifying why he was on TV so often as he’d planned. The dark-haired teen seemed to catch on, somehow, and gave the slightest head tilt, a smile appearing on his otherwise neutral-looking face.

“Don’t worry about it, Akechi-san,” the teen said, but before Goro could let his cheeks catch on fire, his phone embarrassingly went off with the default ‘pili’ noise his P.A.D. came with. From looking at it, the embarrassed detective finally had his escape for the time being, so he backed off, putting his phone away.

“A-ah, I really was just passing by, my apologies,” he excused himself, finding that his palms had suddenly become wetter under his gloves over the past minute. “I’ve got a briefing for tomorrow’s recording that I have to attend. Goodbye now..”

As he’d turned around and began to walk away, Goro felt a very, very brief weight in his left pocket after a few feet, but he didn’t get around to checking it until he’d already ran to the elevator and closed the decently ancient doors. It was a slip of folded-up paper, and upon unfolding it, there was a phone number written on it, just that and a name. It, somehow, had been written in under a second, so it was just readable enough to tell the basic numbers and kanji of whoever wrote it..

Akira, the name said. No surname, just the name alone besides the number. Thanks to being all alone, Goro let out a shaky breath, feeling his cheeks flare up in warmth. How’d this end up in my pocket..?? How strange..

---

It was terribly hard for Goro to be in Yongen-Jaya again, many months later, after all that had happened. His wounds still hurt terribly, and after so long of being away from the public’s eyes, the detective had made his return. Shido’s reputation was well and shattered, but so was his own reputation (according to Sae), and he’d have to rebuild it slowly. At the very least, people at least weren’t heckling him and some of the social media hellstorm had quieted down by now, so that was good..

That was when he saw Morgana again, when he walked alone in Yongen-Jaya, for the first time since his defeat in December since somehow landing himself in the hospital until today, right on Valentine’s Day. The cat began to slink his way into the familiar alleyway leaning to Leblanc.. and for some reason, Goro found the urge to follow. The pancake-brown haired teen readjusted his new orange-brown coat and walked forward, as quietly as he could and as carefully as he could, as to not aggravate his many bruises and cuts that still haunted him.

So, eventually, Goro made it to Leblanc. It was, by his own interna; admittance, pretty damn late for coffee considering it was evening time, but he deeply missed the place, deeply missed him. Goro had tried so hard to get better just for him, and he wasn’t even sure if the guy was out of prison yet. At least, he’d been in prison by Sae’s words when Goro finally woke the hell up back in January..

Swallowing his anxiety, he stepped into the cafe, the bell chime dutifully ringing as he entered. Goro saw surprise flash in Sojiro’s eyes as he stopped in front of the door, on the welcome mat, with his hands in his coat’s pockets and a whole heap of worry burrowing into his stomach.

“H-hello, Akira. Honey, I’m home.”

Akira turned at the sound of his own voice, eyes widening as he tried to keep back what Goro assumed to be relief and mourning and a hint of disbelief from shaking him. Goro could see Akira’s lip wobble, and already the detective felt tears start to escape his eyes once he blinked a time or two.

“..Akechi? Hoo boy, it’s.. it’s been a while since you came in,” Sojiro commented hesitantly, rubbing the back of his head. “Akira.. well, he.. hm.. How do I put this..”

“W.. Welcome h-home!” Akira finally sputtered, abruptly interrupting Sojiro, and he finally succumbed to his decidedly relieved tears as he rushed forward, sliding right past Goro’s arms and burying his face into the crook of the other’s neck. Yes, the dark-haired boy who had taken Goro’s heart was crying, but Goro swore he saw a smile break out in the split seconds before the taller of the pair let out a small “Oof!”, feeling some of the wind knocked out of him.

Even so.. Goro couldn’t help himself but embrace Akira in return, feeling the shorter teen tremble slightly with his happy sobs and occasional sharp hiccups. Goro did feel a twinge of regret for being unable to tell Akira he’d been alive this whole time, as Morgana made some groan noise and attached to his leg as a way of saying “Apologize for breaking Akira’s heart!”.

“I’m sorry, Akira,” Goro humbly sighed, as if to answer the implied demand of the black cat’s claws poking through his jeans, squeezing his eyes shut and holding the dark-haired teen just a bit tighter. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner about my recovery.. I should have..”

Akira huffed, his tears soaking right into Goro’s sweater vest, the one the shorter teen had complimented about 50 times 4-ish months ago. “S-shut it, Goro.. I’m glad you’re okay. I.. I could barely take not having you around, in prison and all.. It hurt, Goro..”

“I’m here now, though.. I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, either..”

At that, Akira huffed again, giving a light punch to Goro’s side. But, Goro knew that wasn’t really meant to hurt, and the further huffs now registered as some sort of laughter. Well.. It didn’t really work completely, though, as right after that Akira just hiccuped again, lifting his head with flushed cheeks and a nervous smile. “You -hic- goof.”

Sojiro took that moment to walk towards the two teens, shaking his head. “Seems like he’s gotten some hiccups.. Oh well.

Akira, take over for me, will you? I think I’d best leave you two to catch up.”

Morgana detached himself from Goro’s leg, flicking his tail. “Hey, Akira, don’t get too blubbery when you tell Goro, alright? I’m gonna be with Boss, but if anything goes awry, tell Futaba and I’ll come right back.”

With that, Sojiro stepped out of the shop with Morgana, and after a minute Akira detached from Goro, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve. An awkward silence settled over the little cafe, and it still smelled faintly of coffee and curry. Akira, definitely so, and the warm smell of the stuff now attached to Goro’s own clothes thanks to the intimate hug.

After a while, Akira turned back towards the counter, shakily sighing with another awkwardly placed hiccup. “U-uh.. Hey, you can -hic-.. sit if you’d like. Do you want your usual?”

“..Certainly. Some curry would be nice, too. Hopefully it’s better than that damned hospital food,” Goro joked, removing his jacket and heading to a booth seat. “At any rate, at least you give a damn about nutrition and flavor..”

Akira snort-laughed, the tension he’d seemingly had before lifted from how he stood while setting everything up like normal. “I’ll make this curry extra good, then, if you just got out of the hospital today. W-well.. It’s also Valentine’s Day, so.. So d-don’t tell Boss I’m changing things up, okay?”

“Changing things up?” Goro inquired with a head tilt, his now too-long hair brushing against his cheeks. Admittedly, I’ve got to improve my look.. Nearly 2 months’ time does not do favors for maintaining one’s hair. Especially since Akira’s seeing the result of that.. Maybe I should’ve cut my hair before I went here..

“I mean, I made a dessert for you, since you like sweet stuff,” Akira clarified, as if in a mumble. “I made it anyway, j-just in case.. well, if you did come..”

Goro smiled at him, feeling his own cheeks go a rosy pink. “Akira.. That’s very sweet of you. Oh.. er.. I brought you something as well..”

Akira didn’t say anything to that or Goro’s goofy attempt at Akira’s preferred brand of humor, but Goro could see a brighter flush of red covering the teen’s cheeks as he prepared the coffee, curry and what Goro could distantly see had to be some kind of.. cake? Goro wasn’t entirely sure, as the dark-haired former thief kept standing in front of it a lot.

Maybe it’s meant to be a surprise, Goro thought to himself, thinking of the chocolates he’d picked up from one of the shops in Shibuya, with the intent of mailing them to Akira anonymously originally earlier in the day. The chocolates in question were somewhat expensive, a premium sort Goro had picked for being relatively bitter. They just happened to have ground coffee in the middle in a salted caramel.. and to Goro, they seemed much like Akira.

...

After what felt like an eternity of silence and the little sounds from Akira fixing up the coffee and curry and mystery dessert item, Goro heard the apron-clad Akira place plates and cups onto the booth table. There was two of everything, including the dessert itself- a little lava cake, from what it looked like, which had a little heart made out of strawberry syrup.

“..A-ah, is this some kind of romantic dinner?” Goro asked, smiling slightly in jest, in Akira’s direction. “How charming, Akira.”

Akira flushed red, shuffling into his seat and looking away shyly as he began to explain, all while twirling the ends of his curled bangs. Well, I guess I got it on the nose.. Makes sense, for Valentine’s Day.. But for me..?

“D-duh. And surprise..?

Lava cakes. They were a little simple to make, but I thought you might like them. Not sure if it goes with the curry, but.. Oh well.”

Goro took that moment to try the lava cake first, feeling a little rebellious and quite curious. Well, and he just really wanted some damn sweets, as he was pretty deprived of that in the hospital. The soft cake didn’t disappoint, and he was greeted with actual, real strawberries, a pleasant freshness coming along with the sweet syrup the strawberries came with, pairing nicely with the rich chocolate.

The detective knew he was grinning the second he put that bite in his mouth, and he felt the expectant gaze of Akira, hearing the teen’s pleased exhale.

“Oh, goodness me, excuse my manners,” Goro suddenly mumbled, putting down the fork that came with the lava cake. “You did really well with this cake, Akira. And fresh strawberries? A smart move, really. It makes this so much better than it already is, haha.”

Akira’s expression was something like art to Goro when he’d said that, a little pride and a lot of joy appearing in how the other teen smiled and directed his warm gaze at Goro. “T-thanks..”

The meal, after that, went quiet, until the curry and lava cakes had disappeared off their plates, leaving just the coffee. Goro felt a little nervous now that they were very much alone to their own devices, and now that he technically had no excuse to stick around besides the coffee. It was already a bit late by now, and the brunette sat awkwardly where he was, trying to think in his head of how he wanted to confess to Akira.

“..It’s a little quiet today,” Akira finally spoke up, seeming equally nervous as Goro felt. “Well, kind of. I saw a bunch of people bringing in their dates in today.. I kinda wish I had a date of my own..”

“Akira..” Goro hummed, putting a hand to his chest. “To be honest, uhm.. I’m not that experienced myself, I’m afraid.. B-because of my status, I never really was.. uh.. Encouraged to date.”

Akira, of course, went back to twirling his dark, curled hair, frowning timidly and not looking Goro in the eyes. “H-hey, Goro..? You won’t laugh if I tell you t-this, right..?”

“Of course not, Akira. I don’t want to breach your trust again like that. I promise I won’t laugh.”

The teen’s head lowered more, and his cheeks went pink. “W-well.. uh... The lava cakes aren’t the only thing I prepared for today..”

To Goro’s surprise, the teen shuffled something out of his apron pocket, a simple heart-shaped box, and he placed it on the table, right in the middle and right within range for the long-haired detective to take.

“Y-you see..” Akira began, his flushed cheeks becoming redder as he spoke, and his words breaking up with stutters. “U-uhm.. I.. I learned how to make chocolates for your sake. I m-made them myself. T-the box, I got from Yusuke. H-he said he was delighted to try and make something like that... I t-tried to pay him, but he insisted no..”

Goro gazed upon the heart-shaped box. Now that he looked at it, it appeared to have a look sort of like the striped malachite he’d seen Yusuke sporting way back in November, back when he’d been in the Phantom Thieves for awhile. Well, the wavy striped pattern was mostly in reds, golds and whites instead, roughly the same colors as his own secondary Metaverse outfit. Carefully, he pulled them towards himself, looking at it with a careful awe.

It’d clicked, suddenly, what must have been happening behind his back, besides that idiotic plan that could’ve had Akira killed. All that time..

“..Y-you.. You made the chocolates and had Yusuke do all that.. f-for me?”

Akira nodded, shyly smiling. By now, Goro was surprised the confessing teen’s cheeks hadn’t caught fire already, from how dark the red got, and the red had even spread to his exposed, pierced ears, brushing the tips as if Yusuke’s red watercolor had blossomed over.

“I.. I want you to have this, then,” Goro surrendered, pulling out his square box and sliding it across the table. “I.. well, I obviously hadn’t had the time to make mine homemade, b-but.. E-er, take them before I die of anxiety!”

“...” Akira didn’t say anything, wordlessly, taking the chocolates. Then, he smiled, seeming giddy as he got up from his seat and planted himself next to Goro. He held the detective’s given chocolates close to him, as if they were a Treasure he’d taken from a Palace, and he didn’t look at Goro directly, although Goro could feel the reciprocated happiness radiating off the dark-haired teen.

“I... T-thank you, Goro..” Akira finally said, scooting himself even closer and depositing his head on Goro’s shoulder, since he was tall enough to lay there. “I didn’t think y-you’d confess to me today, too.. but I’m glad y-you did. ..Jeez, I.. I can’t really think straight right now..”

Goro rolled his eyes, before putting an arm gingerly around Akira’s shoulders. “I think you shouldn’t have to anymore, Akira. I’m happy you love me back, too.. L-like I said though.. t-this is new to me.”

Akira snorted again, at Goro’s little joke, before closing his eyes and contentedly rubbing his head against Goro’s arm like the cat-person he was.

“Hey, Goro? Don’t move too much, please.. It’s sacrilegious to move a c-cat off you, y-you know,” the dark-haired teen joked, grinning madly. To Goro, Akira now seemed much at ease, since they’d reciprocated their feelings, and he seemed to go back to the silly jokester Goro knew him to be when comfortable enough.

“Of course not,” Goro hummed, then chuckled, his own self trembling with the laughing for a moment or two. “I’m comfortable right here, if you are.”

“Good, ‘cuz I’m not moving an inch, Goro Akechi,” Akira replied, shifting himself so he was in a little more of a comfortable way of sitting, even if his legs sort of hung over the edge of the booth seat awkwardly. “Oh, a-and.. Come visit me, will you? I’m still heading home to my hometown since my probation’s over and stuff..”

Goro grimaced at that, sighing disappointedly. Oh, that’s right.. Akira said his probation originally ended in March.. How could I have forgotten that..?

“..I’d forgotten, admittedly,” he confessed, and Akira looked back at him again, his smile fading. “Hm.. Surely there’s got to be a legal way to ensure you stay here, in Tokyo..”

“Argh.. Goro, please don’t break the law.. Only I get to do that,” Akira huffed, sticking his pink tongue out at the long-haired detective. “Besides, unless my parents say I can stay, I’ve gotta go back. Plus.. won’t you be busy with detective stuff..?”

“I’m on medical leave until the end of the month,” the brunette rebutted, turning himself around to hug Akira in some awkward placement of limbs. “Hrm. Maybe if you’d let me stay in Leblanc for the rest of the time, will that make up for it? I m-mean.. we did pine over each other for so long.. The least I could do until you leave is to make up for all that wasted time..”

Goro’s now-boyfriend grinned, closing his eyes again. “We can cross that bridge when we get there, then.. I’m fine with your suggestion til then. Morgana’s just gonna have to deal with it.”

“Damn right,” Goro agreed, gently putting his head on Akira’s. “And one more thing, honey.”

“Yeah?”

Goro gently kissed the mass of ink-black curls, still smiling, and he held Akira close to him, quietly enjoying the warmth the other teen radiated. “I love you, Akira.”

“..I love you too, Goro,” Akira replied. His voice was soft, but Goro could hear that the words held a sincerity he’d rarely heard until now.

...

I had a romantic evening with Akira..

---

END

#ShuAkeWeek2K19 #akeshu #frizzy hair #second advent of the detective prince #let us start the game #save point #fucking christ this took like ten billion years to write #well more like say 5-6 hours but hoo boy #this took AGES to finish #im so glad it's done tho bc if i work on it anymore it'll prolly turn out bad #enjoy ya'll

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blankdblank · 5 years

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Anaticula Pt 7

Hermione enters! Blowing through to the second year to keep the story going.

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 -

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…

“So let me get this straight-…” Regulus groaned in your passing the kitchen. You walked towards the stairs leaving Neville snuggled up comfortably reading through his latest book on Herbology while you went to change out of your stiff clothes still partially frozen from your hour long snow battle with Harry, Ginny and Ron. A clear tie had to be called before you would all come inside and Neville had to practically be peeled off your leg from his near fall in the snow covered fountain. Here in your bubble charm protected manor out in the middle of the vast ranges now buried in feet of snow while a blizzard raged outside.

After you had been tasked to help the twins fix the cocoa and stew when they had been torn from their final touches on an essay due when you returned for extra credit. The whole while all you could think of was the Longbottom were coming, the Tonks were coming and even Lucius had wiggled himself an invite playing his wife’s maiden name to do so. Your father’s side would all practically be here and that simply left the Dursleys.

Petunia had lost her sisters and according to the muggle world, you. That sting dug even deeper and seated at your desk in your room you spotted your owl peeking up as soon as you picked up your pen. Her beak worked at the door to her cage she freed herself from and she hopped out and trotted over to you.

On the paper you brought out you wrote simply,

‘Aunt Petunia,

I know this may come as a shock but for the past eight years I have been living under a fake name with disguises to protect me. Those were left behind when I got accepted into Hogwarts though. This comes way out of the blue, however, I simply hoped to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Maybe one day if you are willing we might meet up for tea get to know one another.’

Wetting your lips you signed your name then shifted your gaze and found a photograph of you from today, seated in the snow beside your uncle Regulus crafting a giant Cerberus out of snow, both giggling at its refusal to sit still. Carefully you folded the letter around it and sealed it. An enchanted pouch was added around your owls back and chest to help keep her safe in the distance through any bout of weather. A pat on the head later you opened your window and watched her soar out into the distance growing smaller by the second.

Changed into a fresh pair of pajamas and a thick sweater matching your socks you were down again to snuggle up to Neville’s side to hear all about the plants he found the most interesting. These would all be from the regions you would trek through on your summer break with Regulus and the Twins, again returning to your collecting rare venoms.

All of which only adding to your amassed credits for your Magical Creatures youth program the three of you had been part of for years now run by the Ministry. No matter Fudge’s problems with you those venoms came back with vastly little risks compared to when others were sent for them. You were needed and paid fairly handsomely by the companies in charge of brewing up the antivenoms you collected for.

With a promised list of seeds and cuttings you would return with to be added to your vast greenhouses you helped Neville to tend to. Bedtime came soon enough and you were back again in your own bed fairly early knowing you had an appointment the following day.

Between the Twins you were bundled up and hatted with your curls tucked in a long braid down your back with your curly bangs tucked behind your ear. Through the doorway on Grimmauld street you headed off to your right and paused at the base of the stairs clapping your hands over your mouth to muffle your loud squeaking laughter as the Twins loudly snorted and laughed around you at Bill and Charlie both slipping on the ice and stumbling oh so ungracefully to the bottom of the steps. Groaning lowly they jumped up and brushed themselves off narrowing their eyes at you three in your turns to lead the way off to your appointments.

The pale yellow waiting room folded around you and for the first time you would be arriving as yourself, though with your normal black eyebrows and hair showing at the roots to give the impression you had dyed it the silvery blue color it bore. All over your stagnantly purple eyes. Easily you wrote out your name and thanks to an earlier drop in by Remus with an allowed charm to swap out your name on all your dental records you took your seat and waited.

As it went the Grangers seemed nice enough, though each time you came their daughter seemed to have her attention fixed on you instead of the books they kept trying to remind her to read. Another hopeful pair wishing for a great future for their child it seemed, though halfway through your cleanings an unruly bird broke through a half cracked window knocking over a bouquet of flowers.

One sneeze from their daughter was all it took and all the furniture started floating. With wide eyes Bill and Charlie hurried through the building ensuring only the parents and child were there before they drew their wands muttering the counter spell. The panic of the parents ceased while the girls cheeks stopped halfway to tomato red and she looked at you all hopefully with her bright blue eyes. At your side Mr Granger peered down at you as you said to his daughter, “Bet you thought you were the only one that could do that, huh?”

She nodded and neared your chair as you extended your hand, “Jaqi Black.”

A proud grin spread across her face firing back, “Hermione Granger.” With a reach up to shift an unruly string of curls that had slid free from her braided bun.

Mr Granger, “You, you can do that?”

You nodded and Charlie added, “You wouldn’t happen to have an odd relative up your family tree, likes solitary life, seems a bit shifty when having others over or sharing about their jobs or education?”

He nodded, “My great Uncle.”

Charlie grinned and sat down as he continued to finish your cleaning, helping you up as Bill finished, “Well we all go to Hogwarts. Off for the holidays. No doubt if her sneezes are that powerful she’ll be getting a letter.”

Out of the chair you called K mentally and had him fetch two books, both of which you handed over to Hermione with a soft grin, “You’re my cousins age, so when you turn eleven you should all be in the same year. Now, here’s a Muggles guide to magic, sort of an introduction to our world. And this one is Hogwarts : A History, obviously the history of our school.”

On your feet Mrs Granger asked weakly in a bear hopeful tone, “Your parents can do magic as well?”

You nodded, “Ya, um, here,” you turned grabbing one of their cards to write down the enchanted muggle phone in your home, “I know it looks like an odd number, but it rings at our home. You can call anytime you need help, like if the furniture floats again, and also you could come by for tea, or, cocoa, whichever and you can talk to them about it instead of us Friday would be good, they’ll all be home. If you’d prefer.” The card was cradled and they grinned helping you to make your next appointments for another checkup and then watched you head out the door with another thanks and a beaming grin from Hermione before she rushed back to her seat to begin reading her gifted books.

Free of the steps without a fumble this time you all chatted in your trips to the shops nearby. All the added guests meant you needed extra presents. A point Charlie used to his advantage for more time with you at your side outside of school grounds and your parents’ watchful eye. Thankfully two magic shops were nearby passing easily for muggle ones, mainly selling muggle goods but able to be paid for with wizard money, a common stop for those mixing between worlds. Books, odd figurines, a couple interesting hats and as many blankets as you could manage later everyone would have at least one gift, the Malfoys getting the oddest, except for Draco, who would be getting a full set of Peter Pan tales complete with enchanted copies of the Animated Peter Pan film.

“Alright, which one of you cast a spell in front of a muggle?”

Remus’ hands were planted on his hips and Charlie answered, “In our defense you said we could go unsupervised.”

Bill swatted his arm and added, “The Dentists little girl sneezed and the furniture started floating. We just righted it.”

Regulus shifted a bit more out from behind the couch he was lounging on, “Muggle born?”

You all nodded and the twins added with you, “She looked about in tears.”

Regulus nodded and stood up moving to the phone, “I’ll call in the report then.”

Sirius, who was leaning against the wall moved closer to peek into one of your bags, “You explained it to them?”

You nodded, “Even gave her the typical intro book and the one on Hogwarts history. You should have seen it, such a powerful spell from a sneeze.”

Remus, “Any other patients?”

Bill shook his head and Charlie answered, “We made sure it was clear.” Then he chuckled and added, “Expect a call, Jaqi invited them to cocoa or tea.”

Sirius chuckled and leaned in kissing your forehead then asked, “Who gets the cow figurine?”

“Uncle Lucius.” That made him chortle and Remus chuckle through Regulus’ loud laugh in the other room, “Just thought of him.”

Sirius grinned eyeing the upright cow in a tuxedo jacket with a monocle, top hat and cane. “I am certain he will love it. And for Narcissa?”

“Um, she always had this peacock pin on, so I found this fuzzy blanket with one on it.”

Sirius guides you in to help you set it all out to wrap properly and add under the massive tree in the main sitting room already Christmas themed overlooking the glass wall exposing the mountains you were hidden inside across from the homier one they had been resting in after work. “She will adore it then.”

“And I found these Peter Pan books for Draco and an enchanted version of the muggle animated version.”

Remus nodded, “No doubt we could also play the Robin Williams version after dinner as well.”

“Exactly.”

Regulus entered the room stating, “Alright, related the event in question. It matches the reports from the walk in they sent to inspect the Dentists and their daughter, who has been added to the list of discovered Muggleborns.”

Your grin grew, “Good. She seemed so happy.”

Fred, “No doubt a lot of kids her age aren’t levitating things with a sneeze.”

George, “At least now she can bond with Neville, seems bookish like us. Ron n Harry might need some coaxing to be buddies first.”

“Here is your tea and your cocoa.” Sirius grinned at Hermione as she peered around the house then grinned when she saw you walking into the room briskly.

“Sorry, snakes were a bit unruly today. Draft somewhere…”

Mr Granger’s brows rose, “Snakes?”

Sirius nodded as Regulus answered, “Yes, part of my job, me and the triplets go to search out rare snakes and collect their venoms to sell and for antivenoms.”

Mr Granger, “You take children?”

You grinned at him, “I can talk to snakes. Not so dangerous.”

Mrs Granger didn’t blink as she asked, “You can talk to snakes? Is that common?”

“Oh, I have a great Uncle that can talk to cockatoos.” You wet your lips then added, “I’m not being a smart ass, they really do talk. Their language sort of sounds like Yiddish.”

Sirius added, “Speaking to certain animals are mainly passed down by blood. Jaqi inherited it from her mother.”

You grinned at Hermione saying, “Why don’t I show you the library, my cousin Neville’s in there.”

She glanced at her parents who gave her a nod and cradled her cup and stood to walk with you as Mrs Granger asked, “And is her mother at work?”

Sirius drew in a breath and as you left the room you heard, “No, there um, there was a war, a few years after Jaqi was born-.”

Hermione glanced up at you stirring another grin from you and she said, “Thank you.”

You shook your head, “You don’t have to thank me.”

“I really thought I would have to learn all this alone.”

Weakly you chuckled and then paused, “I should warn you about one thing though.” She nodded, “My family is very old, and very prejudiced.” She nodded again tentatively, “Up until about my father’s generation was the idea of associating with Muggles considered. Now, my mom, she was adopted by a muggle family, so please don’t take this the wrong way. The Weasleys all love muggles, hell their father’s entire job has to do with muggles. Though when you get to school there will be students who will treat you differently, even be cruel to you for being muggleborn.”

With another confident nod she replied, “I will bear it. To learn all I can.”

“I promise you, when you get there I’ll do my best to look out for you. The Weasleys too,” your head tilted for a moment, “Though maybe not Ron right away, him and my cousin Harry tend to keep to themselves obsessing over Quidditch, it’s our top sport.” She nodded again and joined you in restarting your walk, “If it helps they didn’t give me such an easy time either when I started. Actually I got sorted to Slytherin and then got moved to Hufflepuff on my first night for my other cousins coming after me for being so lax on remaining pureblood and holding to their ideals.”

“Is it better now?”

Your head tilted again, “Well a group of them got expelled after our fight. Though after a while it sort of died down to occasional insults. Mainly when they fail at something or have their egos hurt.”

“When do you go back?”

“14th we ride back on the train, 15th I believe classes start again.”

“Is it difficult?”

You smirked at her, “That, is entirely dependent upon the effort you put into studying. First year isn’t normally too trying, a nudge to get you into the schedule, all working up to fifth year for the big exams, the O.W.L.S followed by the dreaded N.E.W.T.S in seventh year.”

“They don’t give tests till fifth year?”

You let out a weak giggle, “Those for fifth years help to determine which field you work in. Usually by then you’ll have an idea what you want to do, they cover a great deal of jobs available in your fourth year, and then certain jobs don’t just accept grades for OWLS you have to get a certain amount of NEWTS too.”

Through the doorway to the library a gasp came from Hermione seeing the endless bookshelves making you grin and say, “It’s enchanted to make a copy of every book ever written, all fireproof and all that, pristine copies.” Wetting your lips you guided her farther in to where Neville was lounging on a round couch and grinned up at her sheepishly and offered her a hand, “This is my cousin Neville, Neville, this is Hermione.”

Neville released her hand and said, “I’m just finishing this book on the Endlessly Crying Pickle Plant from the Sahara Dessert. All of its fruit taste like pumpkins.”

You giggled as she sat beside him as he turned to the first section showing her the pictures of it, you sat on his other side while he carried on, “You’d be surprised at just how many odd plants there are out there. Jaqi’s heading out this summer for a hammer tailed soaring sniper, it’s a form of snake bred with a scorpion, one of the meanest out there, and they live off these, she promised to bring me back a seed, I’ve already got the habitat set up in the greenhouse.” After a pause he added, “A lot of people overlook Herbology in magic, but a great deal of survival skills and even potion masters would heed the warning to master the subject. I’ve cleared out nearly three full bookshelves on the subject in here. Though they keep writing new ones so Jaqi’s bought me little ribbons I can fold in them to hang out, so I know which I’ve covered already.”

Her smile grew and she stated, “Well I won’t overlook it. I intend to learn all I can.”

His smile doubled, “Well if you ever need help with it I’ll help as best as I can. Besides, this is the best place to learn.”

A few more books were added to her supply, mainly the History of Magic book from the first year with a few good introductory books to Herbology Neville had suggested for her to borrow. All of which added to an enchanted bag and eased over her shoulder, whatever your father, uncle and Remus had told them had eased their worries from the topic of the former war. Even to the point that between your trips you had been asked if Hermione could come by for day visits while they were at work to be among kids like her near or at her age to ease her into the change. Plus while you were in school you had given her the address to the Muggle Post Office box that would direct it towards you in Hogwarts.

…

Your third day was when the Tonks arrived, a bit confused at the muggle entrance for a small hidden brownstone only housing an enchanted doorway at the end of a hall feeding into your distant shielded home. Only for them to be awed at the two days they hung around with Tonks thoroughly loving the practice pitch you had. By the next day however on Christmas Eve the Malfoys arrived. Also through the muggle entrance and ready to claim their bedrooms for the night, both quite lavish and fully stocked for them. Though for all he should be doing Draco claimed all the time he could with you, bonding with Neville instantly as he was clearly your favorite while trying to at least get to know the Weasleys and Harry.

All day you explored the library after they got too cold playing in the gardens with you. By dinner you had been cornered with an odd suggestion, looking you straight in the eye Lucius said, “Surely you could find time for Draco to come and visit during your summer break.” His eyes turned to Regulus, “He does hate it when we have to bring him along on our work trips.”

Regulus glanced at you and nodded, “Sure. The more the merrier. We would love to keep little Draco entertained while you’re away.”

The tension was clear between your Uncles, mainly coming from Lucius, however all that dropped the moment your presents were unwrapped. The stoic face of Lucius cracked into a weak smirk as he looked over at you saying, “I will treasure it always.” Right before protectively shielding the gift against his chest from Theodore Tonk’s arm moving to draw his blanket and gift of book on paper airplanes. “I know just where to place this on my desk at work.” His smirk deepening as he eyed the blanket earning a wide grin from Narcissa while Draco’s mouth fell open for a loud gasp that brought on a full tackling hug complete with muffled thanks into your shoulder making you giggle.

Though all that tension was gone and after watching the film pre chosen for the awed boy in love with Peter Pan and his world you were all off to bed. Breakfast followed and still all in your pajamas a couple hours later lounging in the sitting room as Draco watched te animated version of the film he was gifted beside you all eyes turned to Frank and Alice when they arrived. The stoic pair greeted their son and accepted the tea offered. Both sheepishly asking random questions until an innocent comment on the flowers they had passed on the way leading Neville into a spilling conversation on all he’d read bringing on a trip for the pair to be pulled into the greenhouse where they both gasped seeing all they boy had accomplished so far in his self taught studies. A timid common interest eased the door open for a possible friendship between the trio and by the time they had left Neville had calmed that the plan wasn’t to take him away from the only home he knew.

…

The mingle of relatives and the few visits from Hermione before her muggle school started up classes again had ended and two weeks after another tug away from sight by Charlie, where you were wished a happy new year with another stolen kiss, you were back at the station again. Peering over Bill’s arm at the extra bundle of books he had borrowed from your library you asked him with a grin, “I thought you were taking it easy this year.”

With a shrug he said, “Seven NEWTS can’t be as difficult as all twelve OWLS.”

You nodded and giggled, “I’m not certain it wouldn’t be. There have been some to have panic attacks with three to study for you know.”

He nodded and slung his arm around your shoulders, “That’s why, my dearest baby sister, I am going to hire you as my study buddy.” Making you giggle, “All the sour skypops and whistling moonhips I can manage on my trips to Hogsmaede.”

Poking him in the stomach in the walk from the luggage car to your first year car you said, “You are lucky I have a weakness for taking on impossible tasks. Seven NEWTS to study for in barely five months.”

“Best sister ever!” He said with his hands up easing through his hair in his turning walk back to the cars up front for sixth and seventh years while Charlie chuckled tugging him along easing his fingers through his again blonde hair after his own set of bribed treats to dye it back again.

The second week back held the third game of the year, Ravenclaw vs Slytherin, another loss for the new green team, though the two hour rumble gave your team seeker a good chance to stare at the object of his affection once again. Cho Chang, a fellow Seeker who shared most of your classes and with a cousin in Hufflepuff she tended to eat at your table since your second weeks project with another Ravenclaw student brought you to forcing a seat for yourself. That move triggered Cho to swap for your place conveniently next to Cedric and across from her cousin with a couple Gryffindor students sighed and moved to the Slytherin table to get a start on theirs. By Christmas the tables were free reign mainly a welcome sight for the stunned professors awed by what you had started.

February had the big show down, Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff, the Weasley players split down team lines, two brothers against one another. Though neither expected the sheer hell their younger brothers would put them through. Between the bludgers to avoid they could handle and the easily enough traded quaffle they thought they had the game sealed but in the time off and back again your practices had been well used as it unleashed all shades of crazy. The Chasers were barely able to keep their eyes on the quaffle long enough to even try and steal it between the skillfully batted bludgers leaving only Oliver seeming like he knew what he was tasked to do. All in all it wasn’t that bad of a score, matched at 50 each until Cedric managed to snatch the Snitch right in front of Charlie’s face while he was mistaking a glint of gold by Tonk’s side for the coveted flying ball.

March came with a sting granting you permission for a night at home when, by surprise, Frank and Alice had written to share that Alice was expecting another baby. An easy sting for you to mend as Neville was halfway excited to be a big brother and show a younger sibling about plants too. By that Monday he’d started a list on all he wanted to share with them and you were relaxed into your same routine of classes, studies, choir and another set of studies with Bill between random detentions and extra credits lumped on top of your quidditch practices.

Leading up to April, the best game for Slytherin yet and up against the Puffs no less. Two games in a row, as usual for the team lineups. A win by ten over the Snitch’s capture points thrilling the crowd in the close game brought on by the settling newcomers. But that game left you little comfort as Bill’s study sessions increased and grew tenser by the day only eased by you and your forced bouts of walks or swims were you reminded him to breathe and live a bit.

The morning the testing began in the third week in May all younger students were asked to be respectful of those testing and to steer clear.

Monday was Charms. Nice and easy for his best subject. A must have for a treasure hunter and curse breaker.

Tuesday was Transfiguration. Between your studies and the not so subtle hints from McGonagall he didn’t feel as stressed as he thought he would.

Wednesday was Herbology not his best subject but with your help he seemed more confident than he was in his OWLS. A subject he knew if he failed Neville would never let him hear the end of it.

Thursday was DADA. Another easy one for him.

Friday was Ancient Runes. Arguably his hardest to study for, but another mandatory one for what he wanted to pursue.

Two days off freed him to curl up and wrap around you, both in relief for what he’d accomplished on top of more cram sessions for what was left.

Potions was on the second Monday. The written part he felt he did tolerably but the practical side let him feel he’d bested it over what he had assumed he could accomplish.

With another day to spare between that and Arithmacy that Wednesday he relaxed some more and tried not to drown in the puddle of sweat Arithmacy seemed to be. A subject Charlie had to mainly tutor him in as you hadn’t understood most of it quite yet, even after trying to read the textbook for yourself. But even if he came home with a Troll in it at least he gave it a shot and his mother would be pleased for how badly he had tried to show her he was grateful for the sacrifices she and their father had made to get him through school with all necessary tools and trinkets so he could get to his graduation, even with so many other children to raise after him.

June was last with a final bout between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. A much needed win for the exhausted Gryffindors who struggled at Bill’s hectic schedule and study habits to match yours keeping most up at his irritated shouts in the common room. A study group soon growing in popularity when they knew just why the seventh year was shouting at two in the morning. The final month was theirs to relax in while the first two weeks held the OWLS for fifth years. Again silence and respect for their struggles before the final two weeks of bliss ending with yet another train ride home again.

Pt 8

#Frank and Alice Longbottom #Hermione Granger #The Grangers #NEWTS #Bill Weasley

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heaven-delight · 6 years

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[INTERVIEW] TRANS: 2018/04 - Red Velvet Yeri CéCi Cover Star Interview

Warm Colors, Red Velvet Yeri

The facial expressions of Yeri, a 20-year-old who doesn’t want to push things back until tomorrow.

“You don’t turn 21 after being 20 years old. You turn into a person in your 20s.” This is a sentence from the introduction of Kim Yeon-Soo’s short novel, “20-Years-Old”1. You don’t have to give meaning to each passing year, but there are times that whiz past you even quicker if you don’t keep track of them.

It seems a bit too early for Red Velvet’s Yeriㅡwho just turned 20 years oldㅡto be associated with the word ‘youth.’ Yeri, whose freshness can be still found underneath her bubbliness, is a different person from last yearㅡwhen she posed for her high school graduation photosㅡand a different person from yesterday. She’s no different from any other 20-year-old, for she’s the kind of person who laughs out loud after saying “I only want to give love,” a person who seriously contemplates over what kind of birthday present she should give her motherㅡwhose birthday is coming up soonㅡand also a person who is embarrassed about her old taste for food. But she’s also a person whose unique color is destined to become even deeper as she feels the world around her richly, for she also continues to explore herself deeply. Through this article, CéCi recorded what the Yeri today is like, what the today of a person who would surely make any time of her life meaningful is like. Like how there’s one springtime that lasts in your memory even longer out of all the ones that come each year, we hope that Yeri’s 20-year-old life would be like that.

How was your trip? Did you just go with Saeron?

Yeah. I went to Bali with just Saeron. Because both of us wanted to use this trip completely for resting, as soon as the dates for my break came out, we thought a lot about where we should go. Bali was really hot, and although the two of us had to constantly put sunscreen on in order to not get sunburnt, we had fun resting. I don’t think I’ll be able to forget about this trip easily because eating good food and casually mingling with the other travelers helped me get rid of my stress and feel better.

It looks like you’ve been to Gangneung too. Have you already decided where to go next?

Before heading to Bali, I watched “Youn’s Kitchen 2,” and I found Garachico so pretty that I actually looked up plane tickets. But it took 35 hours round trip, so I gave up. (Laughs) I have a weak stamina so being on a plane for 35 hours didn’t seem to fit the purpose of the trip which was ‘rest and recuperation.” But next time, I’m going to go to Spain or Italy for sure.

You turned 20 years old this year. But honestly, has that made you feel anything different?

Yeah, whenever I got questions about turning 20 years old, I always said that I don’t know what’s there to be so different, because it’s just time passing. But after thinking hard about how I could’ve changed recently, not when, I found out that one thing that I’ve changed is that I started to eat jokbal2. (Laughs) I’ve never eaten jokbal until last summer. I ate it for the first time last summer, while practicing for the concerts. I was starving and drenched in sweat, so I just took a bite of it but it was super delicious. After that, until the end of 2017, I always ate jokbal at least once a week.

You ate gamjatang3 often too. (Laughs) Two years ago, when Red Velvet had a group photoshoot, you said that you wanted to live healthy. How’s your health these days?

I want to stay healthy both physically and mentally, so I always try to look for something that I like to do. That’s why I often try to work on making songs in the studio when I’m not promoting, play games as hard as I can, and go outside a lot to take pictures.

You look like a person who has various interests and tries to actively search for new things to enjoy.

I am a person who’s always looking for new things to try. (Laughs) Actually, from when I was a trainee, I tried to label each emotion I felt and wondered what names they had. That became a habit, so recently, I’ve been thinking harder about that these days. Eventualy, I realized that I was looking for an emotion called “stability,” and that I wanted to be stable in many aspects, such as in my way of thought, and my actions. At the same time, I also felt very thankful at the fact that I was able to find the “stability” that I’d been looking for.

It was your birthday a couple of days ago, wasn’t it? Did it feel different since you got to spend it with your fans?

This year, I really want to meet the fans, to the point that I started scheduling it enthusiastically from two months ago. Normally, it’s hard to talk to the fans face to face, up close and personally. So, through the birthday party, I wanted to talk a lot about the things that I couldn’t say before. Although it was a bit embarrassing, I also read a letter that I wrote out loud.

Even if it wasn’t your birthday, I think events like those would’ve filled your heart up.

A lot of people think that the fans would like these kinds of events more than me. But, after meeting fans, I don’t feel just happy. I feel calm and extremely energized. Because of that, I wanted to meet the fans even more, and it was actually a very pleasant time for me too.

We have to talk about your friends, since you always manage to win the hearts of those around you. Are you the kind of person who approaches people that you want to be friends with first?

I often get asked about how I manage to have so many friends. But, I always haven’t been able to give a clear answer, because I always don’t know what to say. Because I’d been a trainee from a young age, I don’t have a lot of friends that are the same age as me.

No matter how hard I think about it, I can’t say that I really do have a lot of friends. I think it only looks like that because all of my friends are famous celebrities. Most of the friends I have are people that I’ve known for a while, because once I get to make new friends, I tend to stick with them for a long time.

I don’t think there’s a special secret behind how I have so many friends. Rather, I think it’s important to not be biased when you meet someone for the first time. Honestly, I only want to give love to the people around me.

“Wanting to only give love.” I guess that’s the truth and the secret to having so many friends.

Usually, I don’t reach out to other people first. But I try to show as much affection as I can to the people that I adore. I don’t get to meet them a lot because everybody is so busy. So, I try to contact them often and talk to them sincerely. Everybody each has their own troubles and sorrows, so I want to only give love to the people around me. I guess that could be the secret behind why the relationships I make last long.

You also revealed songs that you created, and on top of that, you’re also into games recently. Do you have any other things that you like to do, Yeri?

There are three things that I promised to do this year: studying foreign languages, song and lyric writing, and honing my piano and guitar skills. I know achieving all three goals looks impossible, but still, I want to give it a shot. Also, I always liked writing the stories inside my head out into lyrics and making them into songs.

I was surprised after listening to 1000, the song that you created, because it was better than I expected. How long did you work on that song?

Really? Thank you. It feels great to hear that. I have the habit of writing down whatever comes to my mindㅡeven if it’s only just a sentenceㅡon my phone’s memo app, so I have a bunch of stories. It didn’t take long for me to come up with the lyrics to 1000. I was up during dawn one night, and I found out that it was my 1000th day since debut. After that, I wrote the lyrics while thinking of the fans. I thought that if I’d create a song out of these lyrics, it would become a great present. It didn’t take long for me to write the lyrics and come up with a melody to go along with them, but I got a lot of help from my friends who did music while recording the song and mixing it. After thinking about when to release it, I decided to do it on my birthday. Whenever I have time to spare, I use it to work on songs. It’s so fun that I can’t break the habit.

Didn’t you also write the song and lyrics for Ragoon’s “Story?” You’re a real hard worker.

That’s just how my personality is. If there’s anything that might help what I do, I want to try it out. The reason why I mentioned that I want to get better at playing the guitar and the piano is because they can help me make songs better. I want to keep having fun making songs in the future too.

Do you always work on making music whenever you have time to spare? How do you usually spend a normal day?

I have a regular pattern. First, I meet my close friends and eat something nice for dinner. It’s one of the small joys of life. Second, I go to the bookstore and spend my time there. Then, there are times when I just head straight to the studio. I usually spend my time like that.

Do you still buy and read lots of books?

I have so many books. (Laughs) Even last night, when I saw the empty space on my bookshelf while I was organizing it, I was sure that that space was going to run out soon. I go to the bookstore often, but recently, I spent a whole day trying to get my hands on “Castella” by Park Mingyu. I’m going to read it soon since I managed to get a copy of it. Also, I was impressed deeply by the movie “Your Name,” so I’m thinking about reading the novel that it’s based on.

Four years have passed already after you’d debuted as a member of Red Velvet. What was the most fun thing you’ve experienced while performing?

I think it was easier for me to perform when I was 17, because everything was new to me and I didn’t know anything. But, one reason why I think I’m better off now compared to back then is that I got to know myself better. It’s because, in order to do better at work and music, I need to know myself well.

Also, I’m not just saying this because my fans will be reading this, but the biggest difference between before and after debuting is that fans exist. Because I was young and I only went back and forth between my house and the practice room during my trainee years, I couldn’t help but feel lonely. I mean it when I always call my fans as friends. I feel reassured knowing that I’ll be able to spend time with them, just like now. That’s the best thing that’s happened to me after debuting.

“I made good friends.” Doesn’t that sound really warm? I made my dream come true, and now on top of that, I made friends. Even if you’d achieved your dreams, if you don’t have friends or people that you like close by, it really means nothing. It is thanks to my fans that I’m able to have fun while being a part of Red Velvet.

CREDIT

Editor: Go Hyung-Gyoung

Photographer: Kim Hee-Joon

Makeup and Hairstylist: Go Woo-Ri and Soonie from the makeup salon, Soon-Soo

Stylist: Lee Ha-Jeong

1 Offical English title not yet released. The Korean title is “스무 살.” 2 Pigs’ feet. 3 Pork Back Bone Stew

#red velvet #rv #red velvet translation #rv translation #rv trans #red velvet trans #heaven-delight #m:yeri #e:theperfectredvelvet #t:interview #3YearsWithYeri

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winterlinggg · 6 years

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Studyblr Tag!

GENERAL

What country are you studying in now? Eau Claire, America

What’s your major or specialization? Paralegal (Criminal Law)

What year are you in? First year of Paralegal, sixth year of college

What courses are you taking (/will be taking if on break)? Paralegal & Law Ethics, Civil Litigation, Legal Research, Economics, American Government

Favorite course? I loved my Web Design course and Cultures in Conflict courses at University

What languages do you know? Want to learn? English, Sarcasm, HTML/CSS

What language do you study in? Do you think in a different language? English, and nope!

Career aspiration? Paralegal for the District Attorney’s Office, and legal advocate for victims of stalking, especially in states whose laws offer perpetrators too many advantages via grey area and loopholes.

If you couldn’t be #8, what would you be? A web designer and developer

Moment you knew what you wanted to do? After I was stalked by a police officer who used work equipment, resources, databases and coworkers to stalk me. It is not legally considered stalking in Oregon (where it happened), but it is in my current state of Wisconsin.

STUDY ENVIRONMENT

Where is your favorite place to study? My computer, which has three 43″ monitors on top of an actual conference table. It’s nice for spreading out on.

When is your favorite time to study? My favorite is late night studying, between the hours of 10pm to 7 or 8am.

Clean desk or organized mess? Clean desk!!

Music or no music? What type? If I listen to music, it has to be lyric-less music because I get too distracted by the words.

Name top 3 worst distractions. Twitter, my boyfriend (who I live with), and YouTube

Exam time, dress up or dress down? Dress down, because I like to be super comfortable in otherwise stressful exams.

Exam time, hair up or hair down? Hair up and out of my face. When I’m hyper-focused, the tickle of my hair gets extra annoying.

Favorite outfit for studying? Honestly, just undies and a tee-shirt

Favourite study scent? Always flowers, specifically jasmine, gardenia, or honeysuckle.

STUDY TOOLS

Name 5 things you would consider your ‘study essentials’. I would say my Pentel side-click pencil, my color-designated Staedtler pens, my midliners, and notecards.

Hardcopy books or pdf online? HARDCOVER - I don’t know what it is but I cannot stand e-textbooks or typing up my notes (despite the fact that I was a computer science major. There’s something special about highlighting an actual book and writing notes down. I feel like you get to spend more time with the material.

Favorite study snack? drink? White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cliff Bar and coffee.

Favorite pen (or pencil)? Pentel Side-click mechanical pencil - I cant stand back-clicks because it makes me change my grip on the pencil every time.

Favorite notebook/paper? I’d like to explore more notebooks, like the leuchtturm1917 but I’ve been a Five Star notebook buyer since grade school. Maybe next semester.

Name 5 apps/tools that help you be productive. GoogleDrive, FamCal (my boyfriend and I’s synced calendar), the recorder app on my phone so I can listen back to lectures... I don’t know, I use paper more than apps.

How many pens/pencils/markers are in your pencil case? 2 pencils, 1 pen, 8 Staedtler pens, 8 midliner highlighters.

Backpack or purse? Backpack, but a messenger bag.

How many notebooks do you have? Five notebooks (one for each class), and one leather portfolio with a legal pad for my volunteer position with the DA’s office.

STUDY HABITS

How do you motivate yourself when you’re not motivated? When I’m not motivated, it’s typically because I’m too anxious. So I’ll take a break, take a bath, have a snack, declutter my desk, and that typically does the trick.

Pump up routine before writing an exam? run through notecards, listen to metal music tbh (I know it’s an unpopular genre but it gets your blood going).

Crammer or pacer? For assignments and general studying, I’m a pacer, and for papers I am a crammer ~ but not a day-before crammer kind of way, just in a I’m-on-a-roll kind of way.

Type of learner (kinesthetic, auditory, visual)? Kinesthetic in the sense that if I don’t physically write it out, I am less likely to remember it. It forces me to take my time with each definition/equation/theory. Then visual in the sense that, when I’m taking a test, I visualize exactly where on what page that information is written on.

How do you plan? (digital, planner, lists, no plan, etc.) Depends. Generally speaking, for my day, I use FamCal which syncs my boyfriend and I’s calendars together. For studying, like which order I’m going to read chapters/start essays/etc, I use notcard to-do lists.

Preferred note-taking method? The outline method, although I am going to attempt the Cornell method this semester.

Do you make to-do lists? How? Yes, religiously. I go class by class, starting with the lightest homework first. For example I’ll start with readings for class A, followed by the online quiz for class B, then begin the rough draft for my paper in class C.

Do you stick to your to-do lists? Yes, about 90% of the time. If I don’t then it’s because it’s for the heavier homework like a rough draft paper in class C, in which case it’s me not following my to-do list because I’m taking a break and finishing later.

Group study or independent study? Independent is good for when I’m in a hyper-focused study session, but groups are really good at motivating me because I’m competitive I want to be the most productive one there.

Average number of hours of sleep during exam time? Probably 8? I have to sleep more than the average person - I’ve been that way my whole life (it’s not a laziness thing). I typically sleep 10 hours or so, and have difficultly sleeping from the anxiousness of the upcoming test.

Ever pulled an all-nighter? Back when my PTSD was really bad I could never sleep at night, so I’d begin studying at 10pm and go to bed at 7 or 8 when dawn starts peeking through my blinds. So I used to be an exclusive “all-nighter”

STUDY MENTALITY

What do you do to recover from getting a grade lower than expected? I figure out where the hell I went wrong. Did the test come from the textbook instead of class notes? Did I focus more on general theories or ideas instead of the specifics like when and where or vice-versa?

One advice you’d give others? There is more than one way to get to where you want to go. I did a lot more writing of papers than weekly assignments in university. For papers, my best advice is to tailor the paper to what the teacher would like for optimal grading leniency. For example, in my Anthropology 380 course ‘Cultures in Conflict,’ I had to write about two cultures that struggled when they met. I may have enjoyed writing about a culture clash such as native amazonian tribes who are expected to stay “primitive” to satisfy the curiosities of american tourism, but I knew my teacher was into anime. So, I wrote my 20 page paper on “The Proliferation of Japanese Anime in American Pop Culture.” I got 110% on that paper (there were XC opportunities for that paper which I took, but I ALSO wasn’t graded down for ANYTHING because she loved the topic so much), and because it counted for so much of my grade, I ended that semester with 104% overall in that class.

What are you most proud of right now? Honestly, my desk. I took so much time on setting it up exactly the way I like it, and it’s so big and aesthetically pleasing that it’s EASY to WANT to study.

Favorite quote to keep you going? Someone somewhere is having a worse day than you. (So even if I don’t want to get up at 7:00am, I should appreciate that it’s my biggest struggle today)

Favorite way to destress? A BATH WITH A LUSH BATH BOMB

OTHER

Favorite 5 studyblrs? I can’t think of them all now, but I will make another post of people that pump out the type of content that made me love Studyblrs in the first place soon.

How often do you check Tumblr? 2x-3x a day?

Hobbies when you’re not studying? Playing video games (overwatch), taking care of my succulent garden (I easily have over 100), and watching political/social commentary on YouTube.

Favorite compulsory-reading book? Suspense/Crime books. I just Finished ‘Women in the Window’ which I read all in one day.

First nerdy joke that pops into your head. There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

#studyblrtag #studyblr #studyblr tag

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schizophelia · 6 years

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September 17th, 2018: Psychiatrist and Therapist Appointments

As you can probably tell from the title of this post that I saw both a psychiatrist and therapist today.

Psychiatrist: So I saw the psychiatrist at 9am this morning. When I got to student health services, the secretary gave me two sheets of paper to fill out. One was a GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) screening and the other was a depression screening. Those are both pointless because I don’t have GAD and I haven’t been depressed in months. But that was fine, I did them anyway. After those were filled out, I gave the pen and clipboard back to the secretary and sat back down. Not long after a woman came out and introduced herself to me as Dr. K (not going to specifically use her name).

She took me to one of the meeting rooms in the back. She asked me basic questions about me (eg. name, age, where I came from, etc). Then she asked me what my reason for seeing her was. I was kind of taken aback. Mostly because I thought she would have known why I was seeing her. She said that Dr. N (the doctor I saw one day at the walk-in clinic), Karen (therapist), and my SAS advisor had made my case a top priority. Dr. K said that I was triaged into seeing a psychiatrist. Triage is basically just a fancy word for sorting patients based on immediate needs and the severity of illness/issues/etc. So yeah, because of the high concern of my case, I was seen quicker than everyone else. We talked about my history starting from the age of 15 (when I was first admitted to a psychiatric unit) beginning at my eating disorder. So we talked about that and the diagnoses and such at that age.

Then we talked about the bullying and the depression and my history of self-harm and suicide attempts. The topic of self-harm came up because she noticed the scars on my arms. She asked if I was currently self-harming and I said no, Then we started talking about the voices and other stuff. There was a point when I didn’t want to tell her something (it had nothing to do with my safety) and she said something along the lines of, “it’s my job to know so I can help lessen things for you...” something like that. I eventually told her despite not wanting to. She said that my old psychiatrist sent a referral with an overview of what has been happening but she said she wanted all my out-patient and inpatient records. I was thinking “ugh. Fuck.” I don’t want her to have those records. My old psychiatrist was a fucking idiot, I want to leave him behind. She wants me to sign the consent forms so she can get them from the hospital. She said something like, “it doesn’t matter what he wrote because I will form my own opinion.” You know what’s stupid? They all say that, but they really don’t know how to form any independent thought. I guess I have no fucking choice whether to let her see those records or not (fuck the whole idea of consent in this context).

She asked me how often I heard the voices (almost always), what they say, if they do a running commentary (they do), their nature (temperament), etc. Dr. K asked me if I had any problems doing school work. I said yes; that I couldn’t focus or concentrate or remember things. She asked me if I was using or have used drugs or alcohol. I said I smoked weed a couple times a couple years ago, and the same thing for alcohol. I think she said it was good that I’m no longer using (I don’t remember). One of the questions she asked was whether I had ECT. I said no. And I honestly fucking hope she doesn’t suggest I do it once she gets to know me more. She asked me so many questions that it would be impossible for me to remember them all. The thing I don’t like about Dr. K is that she’s coming across as a bitch. She asked me questions that I didn’t understand or know the answer to and she would sound irritated when I said “I don’t know,” “I don’t remember,” or “I don’t understand.” Like, be patient for fuck sake’s. I get confused, have trouble remembering, or genuinely don’t know.

Dr. K did not increase my medication today. She said she would like to see me regularly... how often, I don’t know. But she wants to meet with me next Thursday at 3:30pm because she said she still had more questions to ask me. So I have to go back next week. We actually went over our 1 hour appointment today. It was after 10am when I left SHS.

Therapy: Today I met with Karen, my psychotherapist. We talked about my appointment with Dr. K prior. Karen asked me how I was doing in comparison to last week, I don’t remember what I said. But told her I just met with Dr. K. She asked me if Dr. K had increased my medication.I said no, but that she wanted to meet with me next week. Karen said she still thinks I need more medication. She pointed out that I don’t look at her and that my attention is directed around the room whenever I meet with her. She said that was okay, but that she noticed. She brought up the movie “A Beautiful Mind” and said something about that but I don’t exactly remember what she said. I don’t know how this came up, but somehow I started talking about my friend that died by suicide a few months ago. She said it can be hard to lose someone you cared about a lot. We talked about my functioning and such. I admitted, that it took me almost a week to shower and that I wasn’t eating “properly” (which wasn’t due to my eating disorder) because I haven’t been able to manage time and find the motivation or energy to do those things. So my homework for this week is to attempt to shower every other night. I think I can do that. I just hope that the next time I do shower, I don’t throw up (I showered last night and felt dizzy and actually got sick).

After my appointment with Dr. K, I had to cancel my appointment with Gillian because I had to get my prescription refilled because I was an idiot that waited until the last minute to get it filled (I needed the medication for tonight). The reason why I had to cancel was because after my appointment with Dr. K, I had time before therapy so I went to the UC pharmacy and asked them if they had Seroquel XR. They said they only had the regular release of Seroquel and not the extended release (XR). They said they could order it in, but it wouldn’t be in until tomorrow after 1pm. I said I needed it for tonight and needed the extended release formulation. So, I walked to therapy and after therapy was done, I walked to Walmart because they had a pharmacy there and that was the closest pharmacy to my residence building (besides UC) and I knew where the Walmart building was. I took the prescription there and spoke to one of the pharmacy people. The guy said that they had the generic form of Seroquel XR (that’s what I was on before) so I said that was perfect. I gave him my script and mentioned that it was my first time using this specific Walmart pharmacy. I had to fill out some forms and they took my information. He gave me a beeper thing that indicated when my prescription was ready. I wandered around the store while on the phone with my friend, Jennifer. It took them about 40 minutes or so. I think maybe they had a lot of prescriptions to fill. Anyway, I got my prescription and left the store (most people would have to pay, but because I’m under 25, all my medications are free).

So I got home from Walmart, and made food. Then I relaxed until class.Went to my Contemporary English class and didn’t learn anything. I also learned that I am so far behind in the book. I didn’t know the pace I was supposed to read so I have to read a lot to catch up. I need structure for reading a book for a classes. Like, what chapters I have to read and by when. But there isn’t a reading schedule online on our online classroom. So yeah. Behind in that. After English I had Foundational Skills in Psychology. We talked about mental health and mental illness. She had us break into groups. We we supposed to come up with the early signs of mental illness. My group was practically useless, I came up with many ideas and one of the guys in my group looks at me and said, “you sure know a lot of examples.” I explained that I’m part of the system. After this class, I had Sociology. Sociology was a lot of information. It was really heavy. And it sounded like there was a whale in the room. I kept hearing whale sounds and it was really annoying. I don’t remember what class this was in, but I saw a government agent in one class, and I saw a seagull flying around in one of my classes too. My Sociology class ended at 9:10pm and I called my friend Jennifer again because I don’t want to walk to my residence late at night without talking to someone. In case something were to go wrong. I saw a bunny but when I got close, it disappeared. So I was confused. But whatever. I made it home and cooked pasta and used some of the alfredo sauce I have. I ate that, and washed my dishes and put them in the dishtray to dry overnight. Then I started writing this post.

I meet with my SAS advisor this Wednesday.

Upcoming Appointments/Meetings:

SAS Advisor Meeting Wednesday, September 19th, 2018 at 10am

Therapy Appointment on Monday, September 24, 2018 at 9:00 am

Gillian on Thursday, September 27th, 2018 at 12pm

Psychiatrist Appointment on Thursday, September 27, 2018 at 3:30pm

Meds:

Fetzima 120mg

Seroquel XR 200mg

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