I’m so tired of feelin so lonely 😔

FNAF movie William and Springtrap are petty,,

the urge to die and become nothing becomes stronger every day

I‘m a burden for everyone. I’m even a burden to myself.

-from Pinterest

The sillies!

They know Zane, they know...

Based on an interaction between me and my friends.

You know, it's rather interesting to me that Taylor Swift's parasocial relationship with her fans is honestly more akin to a YouTuber than a writer's. When I scroll through her tag on tumblr/Twitter, it's far more regarding the connection to her personal life/relationship developments than the actual metaphors/fictional story she might be telling. Everything comes back to how her songs reflect back on her relationships with Joe/Matty/Travis/Jake/insert ex-boyfriend here. And what fascinates me about it is that even though she complains about it, she leans into that very perception because it strengthens the parasocial bond.

The marketing for TTPD so clearly being about Joe Alwyn and the songs to Matty Healy. The marketing/video for Red TV so CLEARLY being about Jake Gyllenhaal, with so many of the new lines in All Too Well specifically being digs at him (I'll get older but your lovers stay my age, casting an actor that looks like him for the video, specific lines in I Bet You Think About Me). The fact that songs like Getaway Car and Bejeweled and Gorgeous and London Boy and Lavender Haze being picked apart at time of release and long after for signs of relationships crumbling. The way she uses surprise songs in relation to her relationship development with Joe/Matty/Travis. The damn TTPD "stages of grief" playlists where she deliberately undid/changed the meanings of old songs just to keep her audience speculating on her love life.

It's not sexist to point out that her wielding her love life is a marketing tool and that the strongest connection to her audience isn't the strength of her writing/the composition of her music- it's her deliberate crafting of a connection between her music and her personal life, leaving the audience invested in her music as an extension of Taylor the Person/Girlfriend rather than Taylor the Artist.

I k1ll myself in my head about 15 times a day, why can't at least one of them be real?

I’m tired of wishing I was dead.

I don’t know how many “just make it through today”s I’ve got left.

Sh, masturbate, or sleep? That’s what’s really about…..

Me : alright, time to sit down and write...

My brain : *silence*

Me : I said, 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙞𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚!!!

My brain : oh look a new video by your favourite yt channel!

Me : WHERE?!?!

Why the fuck am I the way I am