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gojoidyll · 5 months

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Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

Part 10 | what is yours, is mine

Warnings | blood, gore, death, yandere satoru, yandere sukuna, etc.

Notes | this fic will be using she/her pronouns for y/n. Also this is a reincarnation fic, so Gojo's name will not be "Satoru" in this part. And please let me know if you want to be in a taglist for this series !! ^-^

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Infinity Masterlist

GOJO SAYAMI had a problem.

A problem that decided to pop up when he least expected it to.

And that problem was a grotesque monster named Ryomen Sukuna.

The first time he met Sukuna, he had married y/n, and apparently the damned man turned into a curse not long after her death. Then, as Sayu, he hadn't the chance to meet Sukuna as he had killed y/n rather quickly in that life and then was executed shortly after.

And now, as Sayami, he was wondering what he should do.

Despite being the next head in the clan, he wasn't gifted with the six eyes, in this life. Such a gift was so rare that not all of his lives were able to receive them. In other words, he wouldn't be able to fight the curse known as Ryomen Sukuna.

At least, not in this life.

Don't get Sayami wrong though, he wasn't going to kill himself or y/n to start over in hopes of getting the six eyes in the next life.

Now, even though he wasn't particularly gifted in this life, there were two things he did have. His intellect and y/n. It wasn't easy oursmarting and making the people as his stepping stones, and it definitely wasn't easy getting y/n either.

But, either way, he was finally in a good spot in his life, and he wasn't about to let the newly renowned King of Curses, Ryomen Sukuna, ruin it.

Not now. Not ever.

"So what should I do ..."

[...]

"You're quite the fool."

"Am I now? Even after I came to meet you?"

"You took y/n away from me!"

"You're still mad about that? That was two reincarnations ago, you need to learn to let things go," Gojo taunted as he stood before Sukuna's throne.

In all of Sayami's thinking, he didn't once imagine a scenario where he would actually come and greet the King of Curses himself. He was in uncharted territory. If Sukuna wanted, he could kill Gojo right here, right now.

But Sukuna wasn't like that. (Ok, he was, but Sayami was sure he would be interested in what Sayami had to offer.)

"Mad? I'm fucking livid, you took the one person I ever cared about away from me. All because you're a selfish prick who couldn't go one life without her."

Sayami saw his opportunity and took it.

"Which brings me to this ... let's make a deal, Sukuna."

The curse paused, his towering figure standing from his throne and descending the marble steps, scattered bones being crushed underfoot as he walked.

"A deal?"

Gojo looked up as Sukuna looked down at him, his eyes calculating.

"Yes, a deal. It's as you said. I'm a selfish man who can't go a single life without y/n. You see, I don't understand why she and I keep reincarnating - who knows, I probably cursed the both of us at some point. In each life I knew her, she was never mine, so the deal I want to offer you is simple... let me have her in this life and then she's all yours in the next."

"All mine."

"Of course, though, you are a curse now, so I don't know how easy it'll be for you to woo her in that regard, but I guess that'll be for you to figure out."

[...]

"I do."

To say how overjoyed Gojo Sayami was as he said those two little words would be an understatement.

Sukuna accepted the deal.

Nothing could ruin this moment.

"And do you, Y/n L/n, take Sayami Gojo as your lawfully wedded husband."

Her eyes seemed to shine as she looked at him. Her hands grasped his own, her head tilted up.

"I-"

And in a moment that happiness seemed to shatter.

It all happened too fast for Sayami. His head seemed to be spinning as he fell to his knees. His hands immediately shaking as he looked down to look at the severed arms that he was holding.

"I decided to back out on our little deal, Gojo Sayami. I think I would much rather prefer killing you and taking y/n for myself in each life that you both live."

He looked to his right. The room was a bloody mess as curses went on a rampage on his and y/n's family. Their screams were loud and clear. Blood-curdling.

"So why did you kill her?"

He couldn't bring himself to look at her dead body, cut to ribbons.

"Why? Because you tainted her. I didn't want a woman that was in love with you. Much like how you didn't want a woman who was in love with me."

Sukuna came to stand before him. His four eyes always looking down at him, "I look forward to meeting you in the next life. Let's see who gets to y/n first, yeah?"

Sukuna didn't let him reply as he severed Gojo's head in one broad stroke of his sword. The metal slicing through easily.

It was time to start again.

Infinity Taglist | @whore-for-hawks @esthelily @huicitawrites @flaming-vulpix @zeniiis @rin1802 @mrowwww @kenstarsworld @bubera974 @littleplantofdeath @fangirl-332 @thaliadoesthings @hellsingalucard18 @tamaki-simp @obsessedwithfanfiction @babygivertyrant

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #yandere gojo satoru #yandere satoru gojo #yandere gojo #yandere gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x y/n #gojo x you

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helaelaemond · 7 months

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Hii, I mean this in a very genuine way bc I don’t know much about them, but why are you so against emerald? I’d like learn from your perspective, I hope this doesn’t cause drama <3

ohhh no drama at all! im just a very bitter person eheheheh ok so Saltburn is a semi-satirical film about the overindulgences of the upper class specifically within more southern England. It attempts to deal with class relations, too, which is an incredibly evocative, emotive, and complicated subject. Please bear in mind that Emerald Fennell comes from an incredibly wealthy background (I mean like a batshit amount of money), and I don't trust anyone from money to ever understand class dynamics in a meaningful way.

Despite Promising Young Woman (her first film) being critically acclaimed, I absolutely loathe it. It's a horrific film that tries so hard to be a film about women for women, that is utterly undermined by the last 20 horrific minutes. The climax of the film is the already deeply damaged protagonist being smothered to death in a 5-minute long sequence that is loaded with the threat of sexual violence on top of it. Then, as an audience, we're supposed to find some satisfaction in the perpetrators getting arrested? That she somehow got the last laugh? As if that matters! We had to watch her in a lengthy, drawn out, cheap murder sequence and then the burning of her body. It completely undermines the rest of the film, imo. Whoever genuinely thinks it's some kind of feminist win is insane. It's a film about violence against women that suggests no matter how hard we try, men will always kill us in the end, in one way or another.

And for me, the worst part is that it clearly wasn't her intention. She's just genuinely stupid.

So if she can't even handle a feminist issue with any kind of tact, artistry, or decency, how the hell is she going to do anything worthy of note with a class issue?

Don't get me wrong, her aesthetics are very cool.

But overall she's a hack and Saltburn is gonna be just as bad as Promising Young Woman - which probably means it'll be up for an Academy Award when the season comes around.

#anon #ask

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supernaturalkickparty · 1 year

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7. What is your favorite scene you’ve written so far?

11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

7. Oh god i am horrible at choosing!!!! I think what comes to mind right now is something I wrote for a j2 au. Jared is a severe epileptic who has memory issues. Jensen was previously married but his husband passed away. This scene is after Jared has a bad seizure and in the hospital, he has no memory of Jensen or of the relationship they have. Jensen can't deal.

Jensen wasn't sure where to go, he just knew he needed to try to calm himself before he sent himself into a full blown breakdown. He drove aimlessly for a while before he realized he ended up at the cemetery.

He walked the same path that he had taken every single time he would go to his former husband's grave. He stared at the headstone, a mixture of anger and sadness washing over him.

"Am I being punished? Is that what this is? I finally feel ok to move on, I feel it's time to move on, and I start dating Jared. I love him so damn much. I stopped wearing my wedding band, I'm changing my name back to Ackles and this shit happens?!" Jensen was in full blown tears at this point. "I hate you, I fucking hate you for leaving me, I hate you for all the false hope of "prayer works" and for what? You still died!"

Jensen sat on the grass, his body shaking as he sobbed. He wished things could be back to normal. His new normal, his life with Jared.

"I prayed for things to be ok with Jared, like a fucking idiot I believed since you always did, and he's alive. I'm beyond grateful. He's walking around, but I'm a total stranger to him all over again and it's too much for him. It's too much for me because all I want to do is hold him and tell him how much I love him and how glad I am that he woke up because I was terrified he would never wake up." Jensen ran a hand across his face. He wondered what Jared was doing right now, he just left him back at their apartment and he should have stayed and talked.

"I love him...more than I loved you. It feels like I love him more than I loved you and it scares me. It scares me because what if I lose him next time." Jensen scoffed. "I probably lost him now but at least I know he's alive. If he were to have another seizure and it was so bad that I lost him...I don't think I could handle burying him after burying you."

Jensen stood up slowly, dusting himself off from the grass and dirt that covered his jeans. He had to get home and just hope that Jared would allow him to talk. Hope that Jared will allow him to be near him.

11. The scene I'm hyped for is the big reveal. I'm working on 3 fics but currently trying to focus on my dad!dean au. The reveal being that everyone but Sam knows that Dean's his dad. It's an au, like first chapter off the bat sets it all up for Sam to go his whole life and not know until a certain moment that has me chewing glass. So you're already thrown into the world where Dean's raising him but he doesn't know.

Currently on chapter 3 and I'm not sure how long it'll be. But I'm having fun with it.

#ask games #ash rambles #ash writes

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brightgnosis · 2 years

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Well, we had planned for me to try Relpax for my Migraines after the Sumatriptan and I didn't get along. I didn't fill it at the time it was prescribed, though, because I didn't need it and I was also saving money for the car (update on that in a moment), plus dealing with my final exam prep for my Master Gardener training. So I just left it for the time being and only refilled the necessities for the moment.

Now that all of that's done and I have my Savella and Birth Control that needs refilling now, I decided to fill it yesterday and have it delivered. It never got delivered yesterday, however- which isn't unusual; sometimes they have too many orders at the beginning or end of the week and it takes a bit. But because I know that my Insurance dropped the Savella and we're still not sure if they're going to force Prior Authorization on us, I decided to call this morning and make sure there wasn't something wrong with my scripts just in case.

Well, good thing I called, because there was. But it wasn't with the Savella. It was with the Relpax- which wasn't expected; Insurance wants us to "try something else first" before they'll approve it- but we already did that with the Sumatriptan (and, technically, the Topamax as well before that- which I'm still on, but it's not enough for the weather triggered Migraines in particular)? It's just apparently not what they have on their list of "things to try first". So we had to send some paperwork to my Doctor's Office for them to fill out and throw at Insurance to prove it, and we'll see if they'll give it to me.

If not it's not a huge deal. I'm not opposed to trying the one they want instead, first; my Autumn Migraines haven't been so bad just yet, and I don't usually need it until the Spring Storm Season really. So it's not an emergency medication or anything ... I'm just glad the Savella went through fine (the only issue there was that they were out and needed more. It'll be on the truck this afternoon).

Speaking of the car, though: It was a bad Throttle Body as far as they can tell. So they've marked it as 'Vehicle Off Road, High Priority' and contacted Mopar for a part direct off the manufacturing line rather than risk another piece from a warehouse again. They should know by this morning at the latest, how long it'll take to get the new part in. But I estimate we'll probably have the car back by the end of the week giving shipping and installation.

We spoke to Insurance yesterday about it for a check in and decided to go ahead and lose the Claim now since it's covered under the shop's own warranty. But they did say that in the event that wasn't the cause and it winds up being something else, we can re-open the Claim to re-evaluate things again. But otherwise, things should be done on that front and the new work shouldn't cost us anything! All should (hopefully) be well now.

I just have a Chiropractor appointment on Wednesday, and I think that's it. And thankfully that's not too far from the house, so it's not an issue; my first Master Gardener meeting should be ... This Thursday, I think, however? And I don't think we'll have the car back by then. But the Cab's only $7- and if I don't want to take that, then there was a nice lady from my course who offered to give me a ride since she knows I can't drive. We'll see!

Yesterday I did a bunch of vacuuming, picked up trash, and called in Meds. And today I've already called in on the meds to check, and gone through an old box of bath supplies I had to store away after she lived with us for a couple weeks because they were too triggering after that; I was hoping they'd be ok to use, but while they're not triggering to me anymore and I do have most the scents back finally, most of them have citrus in them in large quantities. And if I put that on my skin, now, with the skin sensitivities I've developed, I'd probably die. So I think I'm just going to donate the whole box so it doesn't go to waste ... I've just gotta find somewhere around here that'll take opened bath supplies for donation.

I think I'm just going to try and relax for the rest of the day, though. Maybe get some laundry done since it's fairly low intensity. And otherwise just let my funky little wrist heal and do some reading; I'm really excited to get my new Tarot Deck in this week and to start working the 3 books I've picked out for it (one Ancestral book, and two Shadow Work books- all three founded on Tarot Journaling).

#Fibromyalgia: The Fuck You For No Reason Disease!#Personal #Alphabet Soup #Daily Life #Life Of A Disabled Homemaker #Religion and Magic #2022 #NonTrad Housewife #NonTrad Homemaker #Pagan Homemaker #Pagan Housewife #Hearthkeeper #Pagan Homemaking #Queer Homemaker #Queer Homemaking #Queer Housewife #Disabled Homemaker #Disabled Housewife #Disabled Homemaking

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luvring · 2 years

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Would you hate me if I add to your angst requests? Please don't, I love you :(

(M3 and Rime with an MC who wants to genuinely return back to earth), like I love these guys and I'd never want to leave them specially felix but this game seems to forget how most people still have parents and family that's waiting for them back at earth, and probably frirends/siblings emotionally dependent on them, responsibilities etc etc

— M3 and rime when mc wants to return to earth

note from nia: real. i would never hate any of you ! i did it as a specific moment sort of thing i hope that's ok i'm sorry i've had this for so long :( not proofread**

anisa

there was always a little voice in the back of her head, reminding her that mc wasn't from astraea. they'd talk about their phone, movies, stories about friends they hadn't seen in too long, how bittersweet it felt to not deal with regular "earth stuff"—how they were relieved yet found themselves missing it sometimes.

and she always wants to be truthful with mc, appreciating when they do the same. it's a sense of intimacy that she doesn't usually get to have—being so vulnerable and honest.

so when mc tells anisa that they have something important to say she can see they're a little nervous. she reaches for their hand and offers a reassuring smile, "you can tell me anything." (just like always, though she doesn't have to say that part)

but mc's heart drops a little when they watch that same smile falter and her hold on their hand weakens when they say they'd like to really start planning for them to go back to earth

"..oh. right, of course."

she couldn't bring herself to tell them of the little dream she had of one day going to earth with them—of seeing their world and visiting the place on her postcard. it was a little silly, she thought. she had so many responsibilities and who knows what could happen.

and she had been doing so much work with mc's help, gaining confidence and figuring out who she is and what she wanted to do. mc tries to lighten the mood by saying "hey, you did so well without me and now you've only gotten stronger. you'll probably keep getting better now that you won't have me following you around all the time." anisa bites her lip and nods with a forced smile.

didn't they realize she got better because of them?

she says "don't visit orlando without me, alright?" because maybe, if she's lucky, it'll mean they'll give her a chance to later.

felix

"...what?"

maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised. this was always the goal, after all. but somewhere along the way, with the days spent together and tears and battling death, it seemed like he forgot they weren't supposed to be there—be with him.

"i've been here for so long and i just...i miss home. i love it here, i love you but i'm not..." mc trails off as felix stares at them, quieter than they expected. "felix?"

he takes a deep breath and swallows, "no, you're right. it's about time that i fulfilled my promise to you."

he wonders if they can hear his heart tearing a little as his voice and smile waver. even as mc holds and reassures him, he can't stop himself from shaking a little, clutching onto the back of their shirt tighter than usual

"not even death could keep us apart, felix" they teasingly remind him. he wishes he could feel comforted, but at least death was something he was acquaintances with—something he could meet them in. another world that he had never seen was a different story.

he knew it was his fault they were in astraea. he knew that they'd want to go back to earth eventually, and he knew that they had every right to. but he didn't want to be alone again.

he had struggled with voicing how he felt before—the emotions were too overwhelming and romantic for how awkward he was. but he finds himself asking, pleading, "you'll come back soon, won't you?" because all he could remember were the years he spent alone the first time, and he thinks if it ever happened again...

"i will. i promise," mc murmurs. and maybe all felix can do is force himself not to think of the worst-case scenario. if only to stop the sickness he felt building in his stomach at the thought of him only being fictional again, when mc and their love was often the only thing that saved him. at the thought of him not mattering anymore.

sage

Well.

he was still recovering from the months he spent thinking they were gone for good. and when they showed up and he told them that he thinks they should have stayed there, he wasn't lying.

but they were back and he could smile, he felt safe again, like he deserved to be a little happy for once.

it's deathly silent until mc softly calls his name again

"i can use the astrolabe and visit again," they try to comfort him. the feelings he first felt when they came back to him all rush back. he thought of the disbelief, the relief, the confusion and anger. he knows what they meant, but it stung to hear as if he doesn't remember the difference in their time spent from each other the first time. he clenches his jaw, unable to make eye contact at first.

the urge to say "you can't leave me again" was faced with that tug on his chest, telling him he should let them go. it was for the best, really. it was dangerous here—he was dangerous. always was and always would be. and mc didn't deserve to have the same threat of death over their head. no, they deserved to be home, being a barista, seeing their family and friends, doing all the things that they couldn't do here with him.

so he does what he had always done best: rebuilding walls and suppressing...everything. it'd be better for him to be numb than let his emotions get in the way of everything he had to do, wouldn't it? he can almost feel all the "self-development" he went through unravelling when he thinks to himself that he was right the first time around

sage always tried to be happy for them. but he wishes he could stop the voices in his head that mocked him for thinking they truly meant to stay, that he was ever enough to stay for. and despite the guilt it brought along, he could never quite get rid of that feeling that called for them to come back—that feeling that missed his own home.

rime

rime's road to entering a relationship mc was a rocky one, to say the least. sometimes he still finds himself looking over, wondering if (when) they'll regret their decision and leave him.

anger, annoyance, grief, guilt. he knows them well—maybe too well at times. even (especially) at the person in front of him. the person he used to despise and attempt to kill. but when that same person says they finally want to leave he freezes, and the only thing that washes over him is a sort of cold numbness

rime almost laughs at himself for forgetting that mc wasn't like him—they had other people who loved and missed them. they had a life outside of the starsworn, of astraea, of him.

he can faintly hear them and feel them reach for his hands. their voice was soft as if they knew what they were doing was destroying him all over again

it wasn't fair. it wasn't and at the same time it was the only thing that made sense. it wasn't fair he was finally happy and it was being taken away. but god, what else could he expect with the crimes and sins he had behind him? maybe he really didn't deserve to be better, to be happy and with them.

he doesn't realize he seems to be speaking angrily, or notice the tears welling in his eyes. all he feels is the weight on his chest and the need to get rid of it.

he wishes mc didn't know him so well to realize it was because he was hurt and scared. he wishes they wouldn't whisper "i'm sorry" into his ear while he slowly wrapped his arms around them. "you'd never get rid of me that easily, dumbass," they reassure him. but he wishes they had just agreed they were doing it to escape him, that they never cared for him as much as they thought they did. it would have made it easier when they said goodbye

he watches them leave, steeling himself to walk away before he had to deal with everyone's glances his way. he knew it was coming eventually—the moment they'd leave him.

it was always only a matter of time, wasn't it?

#last legacy #last legacy felix #last legacy sage #last legacy anisa #last legacy rime #fictif anisa #fictif rime #fictif felix #fictif sage #fictif #🛒nia.reqs

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snowshowerwriting · 2 years

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Can you write about a Hero with a terminal illness and a Villain who didn't know about that before, idk, trying to help hero accomplish all their goals before their sickness gets the best of them? Also how about Villain finally deciding to confessing their love to Hero but chickening out last minute because they don't want to put stress from that onto Hero and regretting it when it's too late anyways, angst.

Last Moments

TW// Main character death, long term illnesses (sort of)

One of the greatest illusions in life is continuity. The idea of the consistent existence of something over a period of time. For humans, the greatest continuity is the consistent growth of their civilization. For individuals, it may be the day to day living. The routine stops at someplace for breakfast, the usual hours of work, and the eventual release back home. For Villain, it was the reassurance that they'd see Hero after their civilian part-time job that never paid enough. As the daytime was deemed over with the setting sun, Villain once again reunited with their typical dark-colored suit; and once again blended into the night, the Villain began the nightly show off their villainous works.

As Villain hopped up to the rooftop overlooking the bank, a familiar silhouette greeted them. They grinned, seeing the familiar billow of the dark cape against the wind. Villain could tell that Hero was tired, his shoulders slumped forwards into himself, and his head hung low, looking at the streets below. "Look who's here early? Hm? Breaking the chain today?" Villain's voice came out as a purr, as they hopped off the railing, approaching Hero.

He didn't say anything. It might've caught Villain off guard if it wasn't for the Hero slowly going quieter over the past few weeks. At first, Villain wasn't sure why, was it them? Had they done something to hurt Hero bad? Later on, Hero had reassured them that he was just dealing through a rough patch, it'll sort itself out fine. They had begun fighting less since then. If it made Hero feel better, Villain didn't mind sacrificing their oh-so-evil plans to chit-chat with their nemesis for a while after giving a few lousy punches and kicks. Those, what, half an hour of talking? had highlighted their day. After a back-breaking day at work, Hero's voice was nothing less than soothing to listen to, even if things had gotten quieter and Villain led the conversations.

Hero took a seat on the concrete railing, patting beside him for the other to take a seat. The criminal raised a brow, finding it strange. "You don't feel like exchanging hits today?" Villain joked, trying to ease the tension they sensed coming. Something was up with Hero, even a fool would notice. Hero didn't reply, looking down at the bank ahead of them. "Hero?" Villain's voice was the only thing in the quiet night for a moment, the concern in their voice had silenced any sounds that came with the night.

"I'm retiring."

The words almost felt like a joke at first. Perhaps a blooper of someone reading the wrong line, and apologizing and laughing it off. Hero didn't laugh. Villain didn't either. Their throat was too dry to do so. "Why?" Their beloved Hero didn't respond, the air around them was only filled with silence. Hero's lips pressed to a thin line, refusing to answer Villain. The criminal's voice was thick with guilt, as if they were already close to crying, "Hero, why? Did I do something? Was it your colleagues? Did they say something to you? I swear I'll-"

"I'm sick. I have been for a while and will be for however long I have left."

"That's- that's ok, I'll pay for everything. I'll give you my savings. You can't- I'm not letting you go just like this. We can get you to some good hospital in-in the states, or in England or something, I don't mind. I'll make sure you're alright."

The insistence in Villain wouldn't let up. Hero took in a sharp breath, almost sounding like a struggled wheeze, and turned to the other. There was a new look in his eyes, one that Villain hoped would always remain unfamiliar. Villain's words died in their throat, seeing the sorrow in his eyes.

"It's my last night, at work. There's nothing else you can do. I've been looking for alternatives for a while."

The Villain didn't say anything, any words of denials died in their throat, coming up as a small gasp. They knew what Hero had meant. They knew what it meant for them. The air was chillingly cold, and it stung the trail of tears down Villain's cheeks. That didn't bother them, what hurt more was the acceptance in Hero's voice. The villain was almost angry for a minute, not at Hero, but at the world at first, of how it had decided to take away someone so close to their heart. The anger towards the world dissolved as quickly as it came, and instead directed itself toward Villain. How had they not noticed how Hero was struggling the past few weeks? They thought they cared for him so much, but it didn't feel like it when Hero was slipping between their fingers, taken by whoever decided his fate for him.

"It's alright," Hero's quiet voice rose over their stormy thoughts. Villain blinked past their blurry tears, focusing on Hero again. They could make out his form trembling ever so slightly underneath his cape. Villain unclasped their own cape and draped it over him. Hero leaned into the other, resting his head on their shoulder. "You're strong, Villain. Don't linger back. I'm fine giving up my work, as long as I can spend the rest of my time with you. Just keep going."

The confession had squeezed Villain's heart, and they couldn't help but let out a small sob as they embraced Hero, burying their face into his hair. "I know. I'll stay then," they muttered, ever so softly. It almost went unheard in the night.

True to their words, Villain had stuck with Hero, even after they retired. The two spent their time going to parks, enjoying the gentle breeze, and watching parents play with their children and friends talk. The peaceful days almost felt like the calm before the storm, and the Villain should've known better. They should've known better than to wait longer to confess how much Hero truly meant to them. They regretted that they couldn't spend any more time with them. It felt like a sledgehammer to their chest, when they found the hospital room devoid of any Hero. The flowers that were once held against their chest dropped to their side.

#hero x villain #villains and heroes #heroes and villains #writeblr #villains #heroes #hurt #hurt/some comfort #angst #tw death #creative writing #writing snippet #hurt hero #snow.asks

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jboofan · 2 years

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Chances 14

YN's about to find out that sometimes a gorgeous man can come up with a plan all his own, and it's a given that it'll mess hers up.

Jungkook x YN

Chapter 14 Someone's going to die tonight

Still clutching his balls Jungkook winced as he gingerly wobbled down the hallway, to her room, coincidentally next door.

How the hell didn't I know this??

He knocked loudly.

"Babe, open the door," he started off confident, loud. Still never realising the nicknames he gave his ex-fake girlfriend. Still not understanding how it had come to this.

"Five bucks says she's gonna scream at him," Jimin held out his hand for takers.

"Five bucks? Amateurs. Twenty says she's gonna kick him out." Jin knew the scenario well, having danced that one way too many times with his last girlfriend a few years ago.

"How do you know that?" Taehyung asked a little clueless. "I'm not participating in such a thing."

"Been there, done that, brought the t-shirt lovey," he explained, a hint of pride in his voice.

"Fifty says she does all that and gives him the silent treatment afterwards," Hope joined the sweepstakes.

"Deal."

The general consensus agreed and the friends peered out the front doors to see what was going to happen.

Jungkook gingerly tried the door again, this time turning the knob the right way and it opened as normal.

"YNah," he pushed the door open and taking a deep breath walked in.

"The lion takes a moment to assess the situation. It appears the lioness is not happy," Namjoon commentated in his best David Attenborough voice.

"I see what you did there," Jimin chuckled, before the frown lines appeared in his forehead. "It's a bit quiet though, I can't hear any shouting, there goes my five bucks...do you reckon she's, y'know, killed him?"

"Did you see that death stare she gave Taehyung before? He started hearing voices and ran off," Yoongi gave a gummy giggle, "I like her," high praise indeed.

Jungkook looked for YN, she wasn't in the living room, but the bedroom door was closed her handbag was on the couch and she'd left her heels on the floor.

He knocked gingerly, genuinely nervous now.

"Babe?" The confidence was gone, leaving him feeling like the scrawny 16 year old Jungkook quaking in his school shoes.

He knocked loudly, pushed the door open, making sure to turn the handle the actual right way this and opened the door. YN was walking towards the door when she saw him.

"I just, I just wanted to take you in. I feel like it's been so long, but you are just so, so," Jungkook clutched his heart, "Timeless."

"Out," is all she said, unbuckling her stiletto in dangerously fast speed, taking off a shoe and aiming it at him, hard.

He caught the end of the heel point as it hit him straight in the chest and dodged the second as it flew past his face, narrowly missing his eye.

"I'm so—"

"Get.out." her eyes were slits as she stalked toward him, Jungkook stumbling back before finally summoning the courage to stand his ground. He had done what he done out of concern, and if he told himself enough times, Jungkook would have eventually believed it too.

"No. I came to the party to see if you were OK."

"How do you know where I even was?" she questioned, pushing his chest hard, hair in her face, fire in her eyes, "Huh? Huh?"

"I may have followed you."

YN scoffed. "You're gonna tell me what to do now too?" She shoved him hard towards the front door angrily.

"How can you say that? he asked quietly, ignoring the residual pain in his ball sack.

"Say fucking what Jungkook-ah?"

She trusted him.

Trusted a man after such a long time, after Kai.

"Stand here and put up with your bullshit? Your lies? You were there tonight, standing there for three fucking hours looking for me. For what? What the flying fuck was so important you had to stand there, and almost ruin the fucking night for me? If you got caught having crashed a party. Worse we were seen together and you ruin my future before it's even happened?

"You're important damn it! I came because I wanted to make sure you were OK!"

"I told you I was going to a party. You can't let me do my own thing? My life didn't start when I met you Jeon!" she was really pissed now, and the other six had already made it to her front door, waiting on tender hooks as they heard every word, especially since the door was wide open, "it fucking ENDED!!"

Jungkook tried not to take her words to heart, but he'd be lying to himself if he said that he hadn't.

"Yeah so I came, so what?" he was raising his voice back at her, loosening and failing to pull off his bow tie dramatically.

"When I told you to stay out of my fucking business Jeon I told you out of courtesy because against my better judgement you forced your way into my life and I accepted your presence, but so help me God if you're gonna fuck about, spy on me and not trust me me then fuck you Jeon Jungkook and fuck your fucking friendship!"

She was screaming at him now, eyes red and full of unshed tears, just as Jungkook was reaching new heights of anger he never knew he had.

"Yeah I fucking came there, because I was fucking worried for you! I searched for you, to make sure you hadn't been fucking kidnapped on the way there or taken when you were at your stupid fucking party! In case you hadn't noticed you're a fucking beautiful and can make a gay man straight!"

"Shit, he's actually swearing and complimenting her at the same time? Like full on swearing, should we do something? This hasn't happened before, we should be doing something no?" Taehyung wasn't sure if this was a good idea anymore. "We shouldn't have let him go after her alone, were his brother's shouldn't we try and do something?"

"Well, the rate it's going, I'm waiting for her to kick him out so I can get my twenty bucks," Jin said staring at the end of the hallway where tonight's entertainment of Mrs vs. Mr Jeon episode three was kicking off.

"No shit asshole, did you think I needed to wait for you to tell me how beautiful I am? Newsflash Jeon Dumbkook, that won't be the last time a man looks my way. And you!" she stalked towards him, hand grabbing her slit to make sure she didn't trip in the process, "Are always in my way. Always causing me a headache. Everytime I try and do something, or go somewhere, you get your nose bent outta shape or you get in my way. Get in my fucking way again and I will fucking go through you like a fucking battering ram. Don't fuck with me Mr Fucking Jeon."

"Yeah I ain't sorry for shit. I trust you but I don't trust those out there. You think I'm just gonna stand by and let men drool all over you, undress you with their eyes everytime you wall past?"

"That ain't your choice to make! I'm not your girlfriend, and nor do I have any inclination to be one. You're not my husband, or my family. I don't need to tell you anything. Unlike you I'm straight about what I want. I don't just stand there and smile and pretend I'm ok. I don't hide behind some fake persona, or lie to those that I care about," she looked at him.

"Oh snap, she took it there," Hope winced.

"You know nothing about ne, so don't for a second think you know me."

"How the hell am I supposed to get to know you when you fucking shut me out all the time! You say I don't say how I feel yet you're the one who pushes me away everytime," he lowered his voice as he searched her eyes for something, anything to explain the why she was like this.

"I don't trust you. I have nothing else to say to you." YN simply stated.

"Seriously, I tell you why I broke your trust, came to that party and you're kicking me out of your room?" he bellowed angrily, throwing his shoes on the floor now.

"Cough up that money mochi boy," Jin chuckled.

"You broke my trust. After I told you to get involved in my life. I'm gonna take a bath, so unless you want me to fucking drown you, fuck right off!"

He grabbed her wrist, "nah hun. I'm not going anywhere. I ain't apologisin' no more, not when I ain't done anything wrong."

"You jeopardised your career, possibly mine tonight. How much do you want to bet that management won't come down on you like a ton of bricks, on the other two as well?"

"I came cos I miss you! Stop acting like you don't miss me too! " Jungkook shouted back.

"Yeah well you can't miss what you didn't have in the first place."

He felt like he'd been sucker punched by her.

"I'm not stupid enough to let my feelings cloud my judgement! I have a job to do, if I do what I'm supposed to do then —"

Then I would be free to share my music, my words with the world, not just produce music that other people had written. I'd get the chance to let people see me, and maybe, just maybe not live the rest of my life with this regret.

"I just need to do what I'm supposed to. I do my thing, you do yours. I'm out," her words dripped in disdain and she had nothing but intolerance in her eyes for him that minute.

"I'm not letting you go," he should have, but he couldn't do it. She was distancing herself from him, he could literally feel it but he was also seeing red and couldn't get over how angry he was at her for simply being angry at him.

He held her by the arms and forced her to look at him.

"You think cos you say that's the end for us, that's it? And I'll just accept it like the good little Idol I am?" he chuckled bitterly, " You think I'm gonna just say sorry again? I won't baby. You're my friend, I did what I did for good reasons. You may not agree with it, but I'm through apologisin'. Because you're just being a bitch."

No one dared blink as they watched YN. Everyone was now inside her room, holding their breath.

"You can do what you like Jeon. I really don't care. Let go of me."

"Yeah? You might want to hold onto your things sweetheart if you think I'm in the business of just giving up on what's mine darlin'," he looked at her sarcastically.

"I'm about to hold onto a bat and start swinging sweetheart. You wanna find out what's yours? let's find out asshole."

"I won't hit a lady," but he still didn't let go of her, "if it'll make you feel better to take a swing at me that sweetheart I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh shit, I should have bet you more than fifty Jimin."

"No, deal is a deal. She gives him the silent treatment tomorrow, and that money is mine Jin," Hobi cut him off.

YN broke free, pushed him back and spun around, the bedroom door slam shut, the sound of it locking and YN swearing in one of God knows how many languages she knew, imagining what she could use in there to kill Jeon Jungkook.

"Well I don't fucking need you anyway!" he shouted back, suddenly feeling sorry for himself, "the day your contract expires and you finally leave will be FUCKING AMAZING!" as he almost pulled the front door off its hinges on the way back to his room.

"Fuck you asshole!" YN screamed at the top of her lungs back at him, sticking up her middle finger as she stomped back to the front door just to get the last word in, "yeah well I can't fucking wait!" She stepped out into the hallway, "and you're the ugliest in BTS!"

Jungkook growled as he got to his room, the door vibrating in the pane as he slammed it shut.

He kicked the trash can, sending it flying across the room and growled loudly until he was hoarse. Panting heavily he punched the wall hard, the pain of the bleeding knuckle numbing the pain he felt everytime he caught sight of YN walking away. All she did was walk away.

"Who the hell does she think she is?!" he ripped at his bow tie, he hated how those things were around his neck like a hangman's noose; his blazer on his bed as he yanked his shirt off with such ferocity that the buttons ripped off. The poor shredded shirt had done nothing to deserve this but it lay in a sorry mess beside his trousers and his socks as he got under a shower, hot as it would go until the heat of the water felt hotter than his frayed temper.

YN dumped her body into the now nearly cold water, but spitefully forced herself to sit in there to cool her mind down.

Her teeth chattered as she slapped the water aggressively, but she had to do something to stop herself from wanting to go find him and slap his big ass face.

YN had always lived her personal life without expectations. No expectations, no disappointments and that's how she got through it all. She knew what she expected of herself in HYBE, and vice versa. It was all fine in her world; stable, safe. Until he came bouncing into it; the only variable she couldn't control, he was the only person whose actions she couldn't seem to control. His laugh, his smile or the way he just forced his way into her life.

YN sat there, shivering in the cold tub. She did what she did when feeling anything became too much. She ignored it. His words swam around in her head, shouting at her on repeat. Clutching her ears with wet hands, she scrunched her eyes closed waiting for the sound to extinguish.

If I don't think about it, it's like it doesn't exist.

God if she stayed here too long she might catch feelings. Actually caring for other people. She shuddered at the very thought.

YN rubbed her face, the cold water bringing her out of her stupor. It was time to go back to the way things were: keep her mind busy, and then maybe she wouldn't fall into that bottomless pit of despair and self loathing. Or thinking about him. Her very own Voldemort.

"Jungkook. Jungkook-ah," he felt someone poke him in the head with a pen.

"Go away," he sat up, dried saliva stuck to his cheek.

"We would love to, but we have an extra practice today, which you requested bitch," Jimin was loving how wound up Jungkook was, happy it wasn't him for a change.

"Right," he cleared his throat. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll meet you guys."

"Way ahead of you maknae. We're all ready dude. Go shower and change. Ya look pathetic."

"I don't need your advice Hyung."

"Yet I'm benevolent enough to give it anyway," Jin grinned, "Apologise, maybe she won't throw something at you this time," he waved a finger at him, the other in his pocket.

Jungkook sat up, rubbed his aching neck and clicked his back. "Don't see why I should be apologisin' for caring for someone."

"Why are you being stubborn? You are a stubborn son of a—what's got you so riled up that you turn up there anyway?"

"I told you, just cos she is my ex, we're friends, she helped me."

"And you helped her back it seems, from what she said, so you're evens stevens. You don't need to be making her life so stressed, she was pissed."

"And I look after my friends, you know this. I was worried about her safety. And I was right, she was at a party where guys were—"

"Admiring her, flirting even trying to dance with her?"

"How do you know?" Jungkook rose to his full height. "She's pretty, it wouldn't take long for her to be on some guy's radar, or anyone else's that thinks she is just some pretty little thing. I don't want that for her hyung."

Jin sighed, "doesn't mean she's gonna forgive you pal. Go talk to her, clear the air. You clearly still have feelings for her."

"No. Let her be miserable too." Jungkook looked at him as Jin bit his tongue in frustration.

Adora and YN laughed to each other before tucking twenty dollar bills into the two dancer's short skirts and hopped up on the stage. Hot from the drinking since they got there, YN lost her inhibition as the two girls high fived each other before taking to the podiums.

"You know how to use these things?" YN laughed as she looked over at Adora who was thinking the same thing, and the two of them launched themselves at them. YN crouched over laughing watching her friend attempt to get up on the pole.

Laughing, she went over to her one, "Ok it can't be that difficult," she eyed it up and down. "Its just angular momentum, friction and some gravity," she explained to Adora, who was still trying to not slide down it.

"What's that in English?"

"It's just spinning around and climbing up the pole!" she stepped up off her heels and held on, the optimal sweaty palms came in handy here, as she spun around, gyrated and used the gymnastics classes her folks sent to her as a kid to good use.

Man, my folks would be proud, she drunkenly laughed, spinning about.

Taehyung stood open mouthed. "Sweet baby Namjesus.."

Jimin stand open mouthed, a dirty smirk on his face. "I swear to God, I think I just came," he shook his head, "she is one fine honey."

"I guess we don't need Jimin in the group anymore since JK is about to stab him with a broken bottle in the next five seconds.." Yoongi shook his head at their usual behaviour as the boys waited for Jungkook to first look in the right direction, to them realise it was YN and thirdly, to lose the fucking plot.

"In 5, 4, 3, 2—" Hope sighed as he countered down.

"And we are able to see episode four of the Mrs and Mr Jeon Show," Jin shook his head, his knee starting to tingle as he knew things were doing south at an alarming quick pace.

"Someone is going to fucking die tonight," he drained his drink before moving through the crowd towards her. Even with his eyes closed, she had a gravitational pull on him.

#bts jungkook #jungkook imagines #bts #bts imagines #jungkook fluff #jungkook x yn #bts smau #bts social media au #jungkook x reader #bts smut

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greypoth0ts · 3 years

Text

it was a pretty long day

T/W: MENTIONS OF PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACK/VOMITTING

Characters: Ushijima(who else) hehe

Note: Yes I am projecting again - these days I just want to dance to LANY with the person I love. :')

It was a pretty long day - you're so worn out from work.

Work was tough, your line of work has always been tough. Not only do you nurture kids, you nurture kids with special needs. On top of teaching, you deal with emotions, tantrums & melt downs. Good days are good. Bad days.. they'll take a toll on you.

Today was tougher on a different level. Chaos in the class. Kids screaming their head off, dealing with meltdown and toileting. Refusing to cooperate, didn't want to do their work. By 3pm you were already flat out exhausted. You just really wanted to call it a day.

You know that days like these are normal. Sometimes you take it in your stride. Sometimes you just let it weigh you down. Today.. today you finished work with anxiety and it almost went onto a full blown panic attack.

"goodbye! see you tomorrow!" you said to your colleagues. Getting out of work on time. Today was just too much to put up with.

Stepping out of school gates, you felt faint. Sick to your stomach even. You tried your best not to throw up. You kept walking until you reached your train station.

"I am leaving workplace now, going to reach home in 30 mins babe." you texted Ushy. It was a Tuesday. So Ushy does not have practice on Tuesdays. He's home, waiting for you to have dinner with him.

"ok babe, waiting for you. I made some steak. Safe journey home. :)" - Ushy replied your text almost immediately.

"I'm not feeling too good, I think work was too much today. I feel like I'm going to throw up" - you replied to Ushy.

You haven't had a panic attack in awhile now. It's been years. You've kept it controlled all these years and also, Ushy played a big part in keeping it controlled. He recognises the signs and immediately helps you to snap out of it when he sees it. He tries to never let you slip into it.

You try to hold it together, your stomach in knots. You really want to throw up but you don't want to be judged. You try to find one thing to focus on. But you just can't keep your focus. You keep walking, walking and walking. It's like even though your body wants to just sprawl on public floor, your muscle memory just kept bringing you through to the train station.

Ushy kept calling. But you left your phone on silent. You were too focused on trying to suppress the attack anyway. There was no way you would be able to string your words even if you picked up the phone.

Ushy at home - worried sick. He's seen you spiral before, it's not a pretty sight. It's a sight that he hates because he is so helpless. He hates seeing you in pain, even if you get a paper cut, he makes a big hoo ha about the small wound. Thats what you love about him. He cares, and he cares so deeply. Hence he made it a point to himself to learn your first signs of panic and stop it just in time before you spiral.

He's considering to come find you and meet you half way. He would've hated if anything happened to you. But he kept his cool. He knew that the best bet is to stay home, to wait for you. He kept pacing up and down the house, he kept calling you. He is imagining the worst scenarios in his head and was on the verge of tears. But Ushijima never gives up, he just kept calling in hopes that you will pick up soon.

You survived the walk to the train station in a piece. Now the peak hour crowed made it worst. Whatever you want to let out is already at the tip. You stopped in your tracks.

Closed your eyes, took a deep breath..... steadied yourself.. and entered the train.

"keep it together, keep it together, am not going to puke in the train" - you thought to yourself repeatedly in the train.

You clench your fist so hard they leave a mark. You were bursting in cold sweat. You tried to keep your focus but you couldn't.

As soon as you turn into your house - you see Ushy at the door, walking towards your direction. Even before you could greet him, you threw up all over the floor. And as he inches closer - you reached out your hand to him, in a way to stop him from coming closer because the vomit will get all over him.

But Ushy didn't give a shit. The person he loved the most was suffering, he wanted to be there to hold you no matter the circumstances.

And you did exactly what you didn't want to - you threw up on Ushy.

"it's okay love, I'm here now. I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Take all the time you need to puke, once you're done, we'll get you cleaned up." - Ushijima reassured you, with his hands on your back, patting you, hoping you feel better.

You couldn't even bring yourself to say sorry. You didn't even get a chance to. You're bent over, puking your guts out. Ushy could only pat your back and look on helplessly.

Once you're done, he took your bag, swung it on his back and princess carried you into the house. You felt better after puking your guts out but you were still in a daze.

He removed his shirt(cos you puked on him), revealing his perfectly chiseled abs. Ah, what a sight.

He then placed you gently on the sofa, went to the kitchen to take some anti nausea meds along with warm water in a flask. Bringing along some warm towels at the same time and cleaned you up.

"I'm sorry Ushy - you must be hungry and tired. But I've burdened you." - you trembled as you said this. Tears rolling down your cheeks.

You felt bad. On the day that Ushy could rest, he had to take care of you.

Gently, Ushy wiped away your tears and held you close to his chest.

"that's what I vowed to do for you - when I married you. was it not clear in my wedding vows? maybe I should rewrite to make it clearer for you." - his voice low, almost with no emotions.

You cackled. But Ushy was serious about this though. He does not understand why you're upset when you are not the issue. However, he fully understood that you had no control over your panic attacks and when he asked for your hand in marriage, he has vowed fiercely to love you and take care of you, whatever comes.

You couldn't help but feel like you're the luckiest girl to be loved by the Ushijima Wakatoshi. The ace of Japan, where he has all the girls swooning over him but he only has eyes for you. And here you are, lying on his chest. Sharing a home with him, and what a privilege it is to be loved by him.

"I am sorry - I will do better next time. I wasn't there to stop your panic attack this time round, but I will do my best.. to never let it happen again." - this took you by surprise. Why is he blaming himself over something the both of you have no control over?

You gently placed your hands on his face, thumbs circling his cheeks. "this was not your fault at all, please don't apologise. You've done so much for me. And I haven't had an attack in awhile now. Do you know why? It's all thanks to you. You always manage to detect it before I spiral. I can function almost at 90% because of you, Ushijima. Please don't ever think that you're not doing enough." - you assured him.

He nodded and kissed your forehead.

"you know what will make it all better?" - you asked Ushy.

He raised an eyebrow - "what is it, y/n? tell me and I will get it done."

"Put on my favourite album from LANY, let's dim the lights and slow dance.. it'll make me feel 100% better in no time."

"consider it done" - Ushy replied firmly.

youtube

He wasted no time in getting it done. Ushy dimmed the lights, lighted up your favourite scent of candle & put the music on.

"may I?" as he extended his arms.

"I would love to." you held onto his arms, standing up.

He held you close, your head on his chest. Feeling safe, secure and loved.

Enjoying this special moment that you both share. A love so deep.. the ocean is jealous.

reblogs & likes welcome! requests open :)

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cheelduh · 3 years

Text

How to strike your way into someone’s heart (Highschool AU)

Part 2 to this. Can be read alone!

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Warnings: A lot of swearing I mean what do you expect they’re all teenagers. Lots of brick slapping. Childe clowns Scaramouche. OH YES this isn’t edited at all lmfao have fun.

Synopsis: It’s your big date with Childe after you lost the bet miserably. You decide to pay the occult club a visit in hopes of finding something that can...ease your concerns. Childe on the other hand has Signora give him a friendly piece of advice, believe it or not.

Note: SRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE A MONTH

For as long as you can remember, you've never believed in ghosts, demons, or souls that lose their way in the endless void, forced to roam the earth in repentance.

Believing in the unknown takes creativity, adventure, maybe even a little sense of fear. Scratch that—a shitton of fear, because humans love to weave in their insecurities and inability to explain something into something of a phenomenon.

Bad luck lies in this category. Bad luck is simply a way to justify the catastrophe that one cannot admit they have fabricated themselves. Everyone wants a reason as to why shit hits the fan, and it can be anything but their own fault.

Bad luck is nothing but a load of bull to you. That's totally why you're standing outside the calculus classroom during lunch break, which happens to be the official meet spot for the occult club.

You raise a fist to knock, but then falter, thinking over your options once again. Is this what it has come to? Putting your faith into the weird kids that once tried to summon Schrödinger's cat for the physics final.

Fischl kicks the door wide open, a smirk playing at her lips once she spots you. "One cannot refrain from the song of your cogitation. The feline for which thou dwell on—"

A squeak leaves your throat and you flinch back, cutting her off. "You can read my mind?"

"Fischl," An icy eyed boy shows up from behind her and points a thumb back. "Mona needs your help."

Fischl squints at you for a brief moment, and then spins onto her heel to go back into the room.

The blue haired lower class man, Chongyun you guess, narrows his eyes at you. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Finally you manage to speak, palms all sweaty. "Yeah uh, I need your help. You know, with occulty things." You use your hands to articulate your thoughts, but ultimately give up.

You're not sure if it's pity towards your pathetic explanation or simply annoyance, but Chongyun widens the opening. He silently gestures for you to follow.

Stumbling on your feet and putting on your big girl pants, you hurry inside of the room, hoping you aren't seen by Beidou. She wouldn't let you hear the end of this.

The temperature instantly drops, and you have to adjust your sight to navigate. There's heavy incense in the air as well as a a few lighted candles from the dollar store, you guess.

Sitting smack dab in the middle of all the demonic markings is Mona, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Chongyun has made his way next to her, crossing his arms with a sigh, and Fischl is busy cooing at her bird.

"Well well well..." Mona's amused, eyes almost twinkling as she gets up from the poor desk that had to suffer the wrath of her ass. "If it isn't Y/N."

Mona is a glorified dick wiper in your books. One time, she partnered up with you in chemistry last year and refused to do any work because apparently her "star sign" said she was incompatible with science. You haven't forgiven her since.

"I need your help." You barely manage to choke out the words, reigning yourself in by clenching your fists instead. It'll be unethical to claw her face, especially since you're the one who's come to her.

"Oh?" She smiles wickedly, revelling in every moment of this no doubt. "Why would the high and mighty Y/N need help from the 'Whoroscope whore'?"

Fischl nearly slips out a laugh, trying with her upmost ability to refrain from rolling all over the floor.

You blink away your tears of almost-laughter, casually sliding in twenty mora across the table dividing you two. If she's a whoroscope whore like you say she is, she'll definitely put it in her bra.

Mona raises a brow, but her eyes linger on the bill for a second too much. "What makes you think I'll do it for money?"

"That's simple," You say, rolling your eyes. "When you see mora, you cling to it like a baby clings to a tit. Now just take it and solve my issues."

She fumes a litany of curses but snatches the money up anyways.

"What do you want?"

You breathe in, then out. "I need a talisman."

Mona raises a brow, hand on her hip. "I'm sorry. Did I get that right?"

How dare she. You will your eye into not twitching, the beginnings of fire thrumming through your veins, scalding hot. How dare she make me repeat myself.

"You know, the thing to fend off evil spirits," Your statement hangs heavy in the air as the cogs in their brains click into place. "I need one that can remove the most evilest thing times ten to the power of twenty five on this planet."

Everyone immediately thinks of Hu Tao.

Chongyun is the first to speak from an area of expertise, seemingly shocked at your words. "Are you sure you want a talisman that powerful? How bad is the evil spirit you've come across?"

You glance out the window, through the semi-open blinds. The apprehension curls in your stomach once you spot Childe chasing Aether with safety scissors, and you've never been more sure of than anything in your life.

Gulping, you turn back to the exorcist. "I'm 110% sure."

He doesn't ask any more questions and goes to fetch the talisman.

Mona clears her throat. "So I hear you have a date with Childe today. Quite the character you've taken to."

"Oh please," You hiss through your teeth, your blood pressure going up tenfold, "you're the one that told him our star signs were intertwined and that we're fated lovers."

She shrugs innocently, stance casual unlike your own that is ready to lunge an attack.

"Here you are," Chongyun hands you a talisman, a colourful mix of some charms, some kind of liquid in a bottle, and about a shitton of other things. "You'll need these if you're going to face the most demonic of all evils."

You think of Childe's stupidly handsome smirk, the playful life of his eyes, and how gentle and considerate he is with you. You think about how cruel he is to others, but how loving he can be to you.

"Oh, I will be."

—

Childe is getting his ass handed to him by Scaramouche on the switch. It's just that he can't seem to focus, not with the forthcoming date all over his mind.

He hasn't experienced these kind of jitters in a long time. Has to endure that foolish smile that's about to plaster all over his face.

Scaramouche may be a son of a bitch with an agenda, but he doesn't appreciate his acquaintances safeguarding their personal crap when it starts to leak onto him. Especially when it comes to video games.

"Okay," The short boy sighs, stretching over the staff room sofa to drop his controller on the cushions. "Let's hear it." He can't even properly enjoy his victories when Childe isn't giving it his all.

"Hear what?" Childe lays his head back, relaxing from all the strain of endless gaming during the lunch hour. He seems too relaxed for someone who's broken into the teacher's lounge.

"Why you're so distracted." Scaramouche points out. "Not that I care—hey! I'm serious here!"

Childe's cracking up for absolutely no reason, rudely cutting him off. "I'm sorry—sorry it's just so hard to take you seriously when you're wearing that stupid fucking hat."

"Don't question the drip." The older moves his head to glare at him, but the thin stripe of silk on his hat swooshes with him, and it's enough to have Childe clutching his stomach in pain as he barks out in laughter.

"Grow the fuck up." Scaramouche says, no doubt exasperated from the constant shit he gets.

"Ok—ok I'm sorry."

There's a knock on the door before Scaramouche gets the chance to intimidate him again.

"Fuck shit fuck who is that? Wasn't there a staff meeting?" Childe whisper yells, panic clear in the ocean of his eyes.

Scaramouche shrugs and downs a can of soda with no care in the world.

Childe would be nonchalant too. If it were a normal day, he wouldn't give two shits about getting caught.

However, he's looking forward to that date he has with you today. Detention is going foil all his lecherous plans.

"It's me." The feminine sound of a threat calls out from the other side. "Open the door." The clicks and clacks of her toes tapping the floor indicating her impatience.

The two sigh in relief, Childe getting up to open the door. It's way too early in the afternoon to deal with this crap.

"Surprised to see me?" Signora greets sweetly, and if not for the murderous glint in her eyes, he would smile back.

"Yeah, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times." The ginger replies, keeping a steady eye on the upperclassman in case she pulls a fast one.

The blonde shoves him aside in offence, and prances in like she owns the goddamn place. Scaramouche greets her with the bird.

"There's this rumour going around—I'm sure you've heard..."

"Oh?" Childe pockets his keys, ready for an attack, not even remotely interested in the topic.

"Something about how Y/N gave Mona a visit today" Signora muses, elegantly taking a seat on the arm of the couch, "with your date and all, I just thought you should know."

"Hah!" Scaramouche bursts out in laughter, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I can't believe she went to get a horoscope reading on how shitty your date's gonna be."

"Get castrated." Childe growls, flipping him off on both hands.

"Now now boys," Signora's lips curl, and she clasps both manicured hands together, prepared to break the fight if it ever reaches its peak. "Settle down. You two are comrades."

"As if I'm comrades with this SIMP!" Scaramouche has to wheeze out the words.

The youngest clenches his fists, unclenches, and then lets a smirk grow. "Oh? I'm the simp? What about that time Mona pantsed you in-front of all the freshmen and you fell in love with her."

Scaramouche glares at him, a glare strong enough to have anyone shaking in their shoes. "I'm attracted at her sheer audacity of trying to fuck I, Scaramouche, the 8th harbinger, over. It takes balls."

"Mad respect." Signora leans forward to place her phone on the coffee table, then approaches Childe. "Moving on, the reason I've decided to bestow my precious intel on you is because I have a favour to ask of you."

"What?" He says blankly, confused that she has a request for him out of all people.

"I need you to let me get you ready for this date of yours." She gives him a gaze that is enough to wither away any arguments.

Childe shares a look with Scaramouche as if to say "am I fucking deaf because I sure as shit didn't just hear that."

"You sure as hell did, boys." Signora intercepts the connection of their two brainwaves with a dreaded sigh. "I hate Y/N. This is the only way I can get back at her."

"Hey!" Childe exclaims loudly, waving his hands in the air incessantly. "What makes you think I'll let you shit on my future girlfriend."

"I'll be doing nothing of the sorts." She points out, giving him a sly smile. "I just know she's terrified of what's coming. The better the date is, the more she's gonna hate herself. What more do I need but to sprinkle some inner conflict within her airtight resolve?"

As favorable as the proposal is, Childe contemplates for a second. Signora...helping him? This could work to his advantage if he plays his cards right.

His inner turmoil takes him into the future, where you two are happily married with eight and a half kids. If you ever managed to find out Signora was the culprit that was finally able to set you two up, you'd never forgive him.

"Nah I'll take a hard pass." He doesn't want to think about divorce and custody battles this early on. He'd rather face the brunt of Signora's wrath.

Scaramouche chooses right then to make a tactical withdrawal out through the window since he doesn't want to be a witness to a murder he hasn't caused.

Surprisingly— "Fine then." Signora shrugs, unbothered when summoning out a minty juul from no where. She's disappointed nonetheless.

Childe tilts his head, perplexed, but decides against mulling over it for too long. Instead, he strides off to the door, wanting to get the last two periods over with so he can run home and freshen up for this date.

"Oh and Childe?" Signora calls out to him, but he barely acknowledges her, only pausing momentarily without looking back. "A piece of friendly advice. A diligent student like Y/N, there's no way she'd be into rash things like fighting. So try and control yourself, hmm?"

He flashes the senior a sheepish smile, the front row tickets to the illegal underground fight-club burning in the back pocket of his pants.

—

Childe conceals near the bushes by the gate, expertly hiding his shaking hands by pretending to look for something in his back. His goal isn't to seem desperate, even though he's raced out here at the speed of light after Havria's dismissal.

It's not like he's trying to eavesdrop or anything. He just wants a little insight on how you're feeling about this, in case the rumors of you visiting the occult club wasn't a farce.

From his peripheral, he spots you and a familiar figure that is Lisa, leisurely walking side by side as you approach the main side walk.

"Ready for your date, Y/N? You've been daydreaming all afternoon." Lisa winks, and dodges the shove you send her way with experience like no other.

"Yes, daydreaming about punching you in the face." Your left eye twitches in annoyance as you fix your hold on your skateboard.

"Well then, I'll be off—ah!"

The gorilla grip you have on her sleeve takes away all the time she has to get on the last bus she's about to miss.

Your utter strength is enough to make Childe's knees weak. How pathetic he thinks.

"Oh no you don't," You say in a sing-song voice, "you got me into this, so you're going to help."

"Help with what?" Lisa fakes a hard pout as she bats her lashes, trying to collect pity points.

"I—" You inhale, loosening your grip on her and averting your eyes nervously to see if anyone's watching. "Don't make me say it."

The older girl motions for you to continue, and you're sure you've suffered more for less at this point.

"I've never...been on a..." The sentence ends in a trailed murmur.

Childe doesn't think he's ever seen you so flustered. He's about to snap a picture for later, but decides against it. They'll be plenty of moments later on to see your cute expressions.

Lisa's grin is both seductive and terrifying, Childe notices. "You've never been on a date?"

"Shut up!" You hiss, dropping your board so you can cover her lips with your palm, eyes darting around your surroundings frantically. "Not so loud."

He has to bite at his fist to hide his amusement.

As if she has a sixth sense, Lisa's eyes somehow find Childe's through the abundance of leaves, and there's a glint in her eyes that nearly makes him shart his pants.

"Of course Y/N," She replies sweetly to you, who is currently unaware of the staring match going on. "I'll teach you everything you need to know...and more."

Childe doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Nor does he want to find out.

—

You ponder on what's taking him so long, more on edge than you usually are. Thankfully, Lisa basically pried your hair down from its usual up-do. Said something about how you can hide your lack of shits given as to not offend him.

Except you think you're giving more shits that you expected to. Why else would your heart be pounding so hard?

"What took you so long?" You sense him creeping up on you, ceasing his chance to pounce.

Childe groans playfully and slaps a hand over his face as he comes into view. "How'd you know?"

"You have a douche-styled gait." You reply as you remove your gaze off your phone to approach him.

He's prepared to shoot a witty reply, but it dies halfway through his throat when he procures a good look at you. Your hair frames your face elegantly, eyes shining despite the tiredness that's so clear, all complete with a cooling spring dress that hugs you just right.

Mouth going dry, he forgets how to speak the common tongue, unable to tear his gaze off your form.

You shift in place awkwardly. "Uh are you okay? Looking a little...blank."

"Sorry—sorry just thinking." Childe stumbles over his words like the complete idiot and a half he is, berating himself countlessly on the inside. He regains his confidence once he spots the light dust on your cheeks. "You ready for the best date ever?"

"The best date huh?" It's the first time you smile today, and he swears his heart leaps in his rib cage. You're the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. "I'm ready. I better not be disappointed."

"I wouldn't dare disappoint, girlie." He feigns mock offence as dramatically as possible. "I'll show you how to have some real fun. Cool keychain by the way, for good luck?"

It's one of the charms Chongyun urged you to carry with you at all times to keep all forms of evil away.

"Yeah...something like that."

The two of you ease into the walk in a relatively comfortable fashion, contributing with lively chatter and a few jabs here and there. It's not awkward at all, not like you thought it would be. Your nerves loosen up, mind diverting from the roots of the stress of high school.

"—And you won't believe what Kaeya did the other day. I'm telling you there's something wrong with him because that SoundCloud rapper wannabe Venti goaded him into birdboxing through the hallways at lunch."

"And the son of a bitch did it?"

"The son of a bitch did it." Childe confirmed, gasping through his laughs as the two of you converse in psychobabble. "And guess who he bumped into?"

You're choking in laughter, tears in your eyes as you hunch over and shake. "He didn't. Childe—no he didn't."

"Straightttt into Diluc. And he had the balls to feel him up because he thought he bumped into a hot bab—"

Childe crashes into a sturdy chest and stumbles backwards towards you, but manages to catch his balance midway. Both of you freeze when faced with a buff guy from another school, bandages on his fist and a crooked smirk on his face.

Fuck. You think. Classic high school cliché.

Realizing he can't risk the remainder of this date when it hasn't even begun, Childe raises a hand in apology, aiming to be the bigger person instead of socking the kid in the face.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking." He offers to the guy, but you can tell he isn't buying any of it. There are about four more kids who group, a setup that isn't going to end in your favour.

"Hey punk. You don't remember me?" The upperclassmen barks out, glaring holes into your date.

You deadpan towards Childe, but he's too is racking his brain to remember. Ends up shrugging with no recollection.

"I have a list of names but they're in my other pants." Shit, what an a-grade reply. Now you know you're done for. "Listen dude, I'm kind of on a date and the vibe is going great. Don't ruin it."

"It's a good thing she's here to watch then!" The guy yells, stomping so that he's right in-front of Childe, ready to pounce. "You humiliated me in front of my gang last week. I'm here to rip you a new one."

Childe blinks, tries to remember, and when he doesn't, he grabs a wad full of cash from the his Fanny pack and throws it at the guy's feet.

Everyone's eyes bulge out of their sockets, including yours at the amount of money placed there casually on the crack of the dirty sidewalk.

"Hopefully this is enough for the damages." Childe offers, aiming to not further escalate the situation albeit how pissed he is right now. If you weren't here...well that would be another, much more violent story.

With a soft tug, Childe brings you close and begins to pass the guy, until he's abruptly stopped by a hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

"I don't think so!" The guys barks, and his lackeys move to surround you two. "You gotta pay taxes too buddy." Oh he's getting way too comfortable now.

A feral smile grows on Childe's face as he looks over his shoulder. "Oh?"

"Yeah shithead." The guy seethes, puffing out his chest to size him up.

Childe itches for a fight. He can no longer keep in the urge and is just about ready to raise a heavy fist, but is beaten by the sound of a loud thwack, and then a painful groan following.

There you are, standing in front of the trembling asshole, spinning your crossbody bag in circles like it's a nunchuck in all it's glory. There's a deadly glint in your eyes, pure, unadulterated vexation in your features.

If Childe could fall for you any harder, it's probably happening now. In that exact moment, his heart beats in his ears uncontrollably, and there's nothing but raw adoration that piles up all at once.

You're an angel of destruction, a force not to be reckoned with, and shit, you're the eye of the fucking storm.

Fire courses through your veins as you pulverize the guy with your bag, swinging with such expertise it has Childe in awe. "He may be an absolute idiot for not remembering—"

"Hey girlie you're killing me here!" Your date snaps out of his astonishment temporarily.

"—but you don't get to call him a shithead, you asshole!" You snarl angrily, gripping the handle of your bag tightly, decking everyone that lunges at you, letting out strings of curses with every hit. Every hit sends a flock of them either stumbling back in pain, or knocked out completely.

Childe doesn't even get a chance to lift a finger by the time you're done violating them with your heavy ass pink bag. Stands there like an absolute loser.

"Apologize." You pant, prepared to send another flurry of attacks at the leader, who is crawling away with a battered face. "Apologize or I'll—I'll fucking Russian neck tie your ass."

"S-sorry!" The guy whimpers out and tries not to piss his pants at the threat.

Childe is still in too much shock at the whole ordeal to reply, short circuiting.

Another thirty seconds pass until he registers the smaller hand waving in front of his face. He catches your cold hand through his haze, brings it closer.

Running a free hand through his locks, he doesn't hide his astonishment. "You're fucking gorgeous, girlie." He whistles lowly, eyeing you with a new kind of regard.

"I-I uh." Your face is all shades of red by now, the adrenaline from kicking ass wearing down. "Let's go."

"How is that bag so heavy?" One of the fallen gasps out in pain, clutching his ribs as he trembles on the floor. "Like a buh-brick."

A part of your zipper in open, and Childe briefly peeks out of morbid curiosity. His jaw slackens. "Is that a...no, it can't be."

"It's a brick." You murmur guiltily, gnawing at your bottom lip. "Just in case." Fingers tentatively play with the straps.

Childe is head over heels by now, all smitten as a foreign warmth bubbles up in his throat, and he's just about sure he'll puke his heart out.

His next words are picked out carefully. "There's an underground fight club going on—"

You lock and aim for his right kidney.

Worth a try, Childe thinks.

"SIKE. Joking—joking. Just a joke." He insists, gloved hands raised by his ears in defence.

Clicking your tongue, you scowl and rush past him.

It hasn't even been an hour and it's been the most exciting date Childe's ever experienced. When he sees your lips twitch, he knows it's the same for you as well.

"Are we going or not?" You mumble, avoiding eye contact, a tinge of red still decorating your cheeks.

Childe crumbles into his hands at your deadly duality. One that comes for his enemies and one that comes straight for his heart.

#genshin impact #genshin impact oneshot #childe x reader #childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin oneshot #tartagila #mona genshin impact #Chonghyun #kaeya alberich #master diluc #venti genshin impact #fischl #lisa genshin impact #jean gunnhildr #fanfic

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years

Text

Love On-Set (Pt. 09 of 10)

Pairing: Dacre Montgomery X Reader

Word count: 2.9 K

Summary: You knew acting on Stranger Things season 3 would be a challenge, and you also knew, from the start, you'd have to work closely with Dacre Montgomery. But is wasn't a big deal for you, since this is your job and you're determined to act professionally. You had it all figured out, or so you thought, until the moment you were out face to face with Dacre. Then, this job became a lot harder than it was supposed to be, since you can't seem to focus whenever you're around Dacre. And you'll have to be around him a lot until the end of production.

<- Previous part (08)

Next part (10) ->

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

The Heart Is A Wild Creature

The good part is that you passed out more from exhaustion than from the metal bar hitting your face, and the wound on the apple of your cheek is small. The bad part is that you have a concussion, and the doctor said you have to rest for ten days. Which means the shooting will be frozen for all this time. You tried telling them you're fine, because you feel fine putting aside the headache, but James said he won't put you through all the stress of shooting at the risk of getting you more hurt than you are now.

So there's nothing else to do. After you shower and change out of Amy's outfit, you head out of the dressing room happy to find only Dacre by the door and not everyone else. They were pretty worried, talking all at the same time and pissing off the doctor more than once. Giving Dacre a small smile, you watch as he takes the bag from your hand.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, a hand on the small of your back as he guides you through the set.

“The headache is fading thanks to the painkillers but every now and then I feel dizzy.” Shrugging your shoulders, you touch the small wound on your cheek. “Who would guess such a small thing would give me a freaking concussion.“

“James said someone miscalculated something.” You can see your trailer at a distance, and you brace yourself when a cold wind blows. “He was mad. It could get someone badly hurt, maybe even killed.”

“I bet he fired the guy.”

“On the spot.”

When you get to your trailer, you go straight to the bed, resisting the urge to just throw yourself on it, and instead just lying down carefully. “A freaking concussion. Can you believe that?” Hugging a pillow, you lie on your stomach. Dacre soon joins you, lying on his side so he can look at you.

“You scared the hell out of me,” Dacre says, and you move to be on your side too. In the last two weeks or so, you've been sharing his hotel room, as well as his bed. So you're used to this proximity, but it doesn't mean you don't feel a little nervous.

“I got pretty scared too.” You mutter, looking at your hands. “Ten days off. It's way too much.”

“Yeah, I was kinda hoping the shootings would be over soon.” His tone changes and you furrow your eyebrows. You want it to end too, to get some well-deserved vacation after these rough months. You don't even know if you'll be called for the next season, since Amy's ending is still a mystery. James won't tell until you have to shoot the scene. The same goes for Billy.

“Why? I mean, I want some vacation too, but... It sounds like you have some other reason.” It might be sleep overwhelming you, or the trailer that decided to spin around, but you move closer to him, hiding your face on the crook of his neck. “You're warm.”

“Let me...” Trying not to move too much, Dacre pulls the blankets, wrapping them around both of you. “I just want us to go back to LA. So we could have, Uhm... A normal life, you know. Go out on dates without worrying about rushing back to a hotel.”

He's right. Going out now is always a mess. You barely have time, and you're either rushing to get to set or to the hotel and somehow manage to get some sleep and be well-rested for the next day. “It would be nice, but...” You can't help but think about it. What you have with Dacre is good, is amazing, but it's not official. People on the internet are talking about it since there are new pictures of you two together being posted on Instagram on a daily basis. But that's them, and this is you. Two different things entirely.

“What?” He mutters, and you wonder how long it'll take until you fall asleep.

“I was just thinking that... We're... You know...” Your cheeks are burning, and you're thankful he can't see it now.

“You know you can tell me everything.” His voice sounds distant now, and you only mutter something in response, your head spinning a little as you breathe in deeply, sleep overcoming you.

“Yeah... We should be dating by now, but that's ok.” Whispering, you lazily pull the blankets closer. “But I'll get some sleep now. Love you.” Then you let your body sink into a peaceful, calming sleep.

•••

You're aware of the sunlight, coming through the window and making you close your eyes tighter. You don't want to wake up yet, and since the first thing that comes to your mind was that metal thing hitting you in the face, you know you won't be shooting anything today. So why bother? It's probably pretty early yet. Pulling the blanket over your head, some undistinguished chattering fills your ears, and you furrow your eyebrows. Who's being so loud this early in the morning? And why are they hanging around so close to your trailer?

“Oh, my.” A low voice says, and it is very, very close. But it can't be Dacre. Dacre hasn't even moved yet.

Slowly, you push the blanket away, raising your head from Dacre's chest just to check what's going on. But when you see a bunch of people by the end of the bed, standing like a small crowd of idiots, you're suddenly wide awake, sitting up straight, a yell caught up on your throat as your sleepy brain struggles to process what's going on. “What. The hell!” You shout at your co-stars, who also seem to be a little surprised. Joe and Gaten have their eyes wide, Natalia is just smirking, and Noah and Charlie are exchanging a glance. You're still working on why they have this stupid look on their faces when the mattress moves as Dacre sits up as well. Then you already know.

“I knew something was going on but... Guys...” Joe mumbles and your eyes get when Noah picks up his phone, turning the camera at you.

“Gimme that!” You yell, crawling through the bed and grabbing Noah's phone as he tries to set it free from your hands. It doesn't take much until you're both laughing, trying to make each other fall.

“Hey, hey. Both of you.” Dacre raises his voice, and soon enough he's separating the two of you, but you smile victoriously since Noah's phone ends up in your possession. “You can't move like that. You have a concussion, remember?”

“I'm alright.” As you say it, you feel yourself losing balance. Holding on to Dacre, you shrug your shoulders. “A little dizzy, but besides that, I'm ok.” Quickly, you go through Noah's camera, happily noticing he didn't have time to take any pictures. “Here. Better luck next time.”

“I'll be ready.” He says with a smile.

“Hey, my people. The van is waiting.” Millie shouts and moving to the side a little, you see as she opens the door and comes in. So that's how they got in. You didn't lock the door last night.

“Millie you're not gonna believe it.” Noah starts, running off, away from where you could reach.

“Well, we just came to say that the van is ready to take us back to the hotel.” Joe, being the idiot he always is, teasing the hell out of you, says in a fake, mean voice. “You're very welcome.”

Rolling your eyes, you wait for them to leave before gathering your stuff. You decide to take it all back to the hotel since it'll be ten days until you have to get back here. You also wait for Dacre to do the same, and you're happy to know that nobody noticed his things are here too. Then you head to the van, holding on his arm because he basically forced you too, despite you feeling completely well. You both take the usual sit, on the back, ignoring people's stare. Well, you're ignoring and blushing, trying not to let them see it.

But something is off. All the way to the hotel, Dacre is silent, thoughtful. When you're nearby, just about to enter the parking lot, you lightly elbow him. “Hey... Is everything alright?”

He nods, giving you a small smile. “Yes, it's just... Remember when I said you talk in your sleep?”

“Remember when I told you not to listen?” You feel relieved when he giggles.

“Well, it's more like when you're almost falling asleep. It's cute, actually.” As he speaks, the van stops and you move to get out. “But you said something important and we need to talk about it.”

“Ok.” Swallowing hard, you nervously run a hand through your hair.

In the elevator, you keep up with the small talk, managing even to make sassy comments at Francesca. But when you get to the hotel room, you can't help but try to remember what you might have said, but nothing comes to your head. Biting your lip and taking a deep breath, you leave your luggage on the hall that leads to the bedroom and moves to sit on the couch. Dacre joins you soon after, and when he opens his mouth to speak, your phone starts ringing.

“Sorry. I'll just hang up.”

“It's alright. You can answer it.”

“Are you sure?” Holding your phone towards him so he can see it's Natalia. Whenever Natalia calls, it's not just to say something.

“Yeah.”

Squinting your eyes at his expression, you answer the call, bringing the phone to your ear. “Hey, Nat. What's up?”

“Where the hell are you?” She basically yells, and there's a laughing Millie on the background, saying something you can't understand. “We knocked on your door and this completely random person showed up.”

“Oh...” You haven't told them yet, but you probably should. Giving Dacre a glance, he furrows his eyebrows, a question on his eyes. “I... I kinda checked out of my room and then checked in to another room.” The sentence sounds a little confusing, and you roll your eyes at Dacre's fun expression.

“And why haven't you said anything? Where are you?”

“Uhm...” Looking down, you feel the heat spreading through your cheeks. “Do I really have to say...?”

There's a moment of silence before Natalia takes a deep breath. “She's in Dacre's room.” She mutters, probably to Millie before hanging up. They won't let this go. Ever.

“I think they're coming here.”

“You think? I'm sure.”

“Dacre, I–”

“Hey, relax, alright.” He cuts you short, leaning closer to place a sweet kiss on your lips. “I promise what I want to talk about isn't bad.” You breathe out, relieved. “So let's see what they want and we can talk later. We kinda have a lot of time in the next ten days.”

“Alright.” Taking a deep breath you move to get the door, and when you open it, Natalia, Millie, and Sadie are coming from the elevator. “Hey, girls.”

“I can't believe you let me knock on someone else's door.” Natalia starts as Millie gives you a meaningful stare before just walking inside with Sadie.

“I didn't know they'd give my room to someone so quickly.”

“Since when you've been sleeping here?”

“A while...” When you try to remember exactly when, your head starts pounding a little harder, so you just give up.

“Look, I was promised a group reunion, movie night, and room service.” Sadie raises her voice from the inside, and both you and Nat move to the living room. “Can we get this going?”

Sadie got what she was promised. A few moments later everyone is here, fighting about which movies you'll be watching and then fighting over what you'll eat. Dacre has to tell them to keep it low every time someone's voice starts rising, but you wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the headache.

Hours later, after three movies already, Gaten joins Millie on an Instagram live. And of course, since you're the newest couple, even though you're not official, she turns the camera at you and Dacre, seated on the couch with his arm around your shoulders. She talks about the accident and how Dacre, apparently too far from you, ran like a lightning bolt when he saw the metal bar hitting you. And you really hope her phone camera won't get that you're blushing.

“Alright, people. I love you, but I gotta go...” She waves at the camera, smiling and spinning around so everyone has a chance to wave too. “But let's end this with a kiss from our OTP. What do you think?”

It doesn't take a genius to know who she's talking about. “If we do this, it'll become public so we should just–”

“Look at them. So cozy together.” She sing-songs, gesturing for you to get it done. “C'mon. Kiss the girl.”

You were just about to protest, to say anything to make her let it go when Dacre's hand come to your chin, pulling you close until his lips connect to yours. You weren't planning on kissing him right back, since it'd be better to just keep it simple, but it's stronger than you. And there's this thing in your head that turns everything off the moment Dacre's lips touch yours. So you're quickly deepening the kiss, a hand holding the collar of his shirt.

“Uhm... Alright, alright.” Millie says, and it makes you pull away with your cheeks burning. “That was even better than I thought, so... Goodbye, everyone.” When she ends the live, she gives you a stare and a smirk, to which you roll your eyes. “When are the two of you becoming official? I expect a formal announcement.”

“You're very nosy, did you know that?” Dacre says and Millie shows off her tongue. “Well, I don't know if you guys have any plans for tonight, but I do, so...”

“Are you kicking us out?” Gaten asks, crossing his arms.

“Good to know you got it.”

“They're planning a romantic night, that's so cute,” Sadie adds, making everyone mutter something stupid at the two of you.

Even so, it takes half an hour for the last conversations to end and for the whole group to leave. When you close the door after saying goodbye to Noah and Finn, you make your way back to the living room.

“Alright. I'm dying over here so let's just talk. What did I say?”

“You said you love me.” Dacre just bursts out from his place, standing by the coffee table.

You don't know what to say. It's too early for that... Right? Even though you have this feeling, it's way too early to let him know that. Biting your lip, you look down, unable to sustain his stare. “Oh...” Nervously, you run a hand through your hair. “I'm sorry. I know it's too early for this, I just–”

“Do you?” He cuts you off, sitting beside you.

“Do I what?” It's a stupid question, but it comes out anyway.

“Do you love me?” With his index finger under your chin, Dacre lifts up your head until you're staring into this amazing ocean blue eyes.

There's no other possible answer, just the truth. The overwhelming, crushing truth. You've been trying to hold back your feelings, but the heart is a wild creature, or so they say, and it wants what it wants. It loves who it loves, and nobody can control it. “Yes.” You mutter, voice weak and low because wild hearts can also be broken, and that's the last thing you want. “I know it's too early to say that, but when I'm sleepy the words just come out and I can't control them.”

A laugh escapes his lips. “I've been telling myself to hold back. That it was too early to call it love but I guess it's just how it's supposed to be with us.”

“What... What do you mean?”

“I'm completely, wholeheartedly in love with you and I never thought it was even possible to love someone this much.” Dacre cups your cheeks, placing a delicate kiss on your nose. “I know it happened fast, and quite unusual if you ask me, but it was perfect. The truth is that the only reason why I went to talk to you on your first day on set was because I couldn't stop thinking about you since we shoot that scene for season 2.” As he speaks, a smile comes to your lips. Not in a million years you'd think you'd catch Dacre's eyes. “It took a hell of a long time, and that love at first sight thing was wearing off but when I saw you again... It came back like an avalanche. So I had to go and talk to you and ever since... You're everything I can think about.”

“So...” Biting back a smile, you wrap your arms around his neck. “What happens when two people are in love with each other?”

“Correct me if I'm wrong but they start dating.”

“They start dating.” You repeat, standing on your toes.

“So it's official now.” He states. “We can change our Facebook status.”

“Dacre, we don't have a Facebook account.” Giggling, you remind him, your lips brushing on his.

“Then I'll make one just so I can update my status.”

“Or you can just kiss me already and be done with it.” You suggest, smiling victoriously when his arms encircle your waist, pulling you even closer to his body.

@baker151910 @shinydixon @dreamin-of-dacre @hanoi15 @lickmymelaninn @foccus @multific @uncookspaget @kellysimagines @peakascum @thisbreakableheaven @nope-thanks

#dacre montgomery x reader #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery fanfiction #imagine dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery #imagine stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfiction

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bonsigh · 2 years

Text

super stunlocked from this weekend, so much good happened. bi-weekly monthly journaling time lol. i think imma add this cute little drawing every time i get into it so i can find what i wrote more easily.

so, August 2019 is when we met, on Tinder. it'll be 3 years in not too long. i've learned a lot about myself, what i want, and the kind of person i want to be with over the years. i had always sort of fallen into awful relationships by crazy circumstances, and never really considered myself in them. i would budge on my deal breakers, convince myself i would be OK sacrificing things i'd known i wanted for myself.

i was really intentional about pushing myself out of my people pleasing comfort zone with my boyfriend. i remember really being into him just a month or so out from our first date. i wanted us to be exclusive, and i shared how i felt. he wasn't sure, and i kindly told him, ok, thank you for being honest. i'm really glad to have met you, and i hope we can be friends then.

maybe half a week later, he changed his mind haha.

it was such an effort for me to say that to him, to stick by what i wanted. i felt terrified. but i did it! so proud of that.

anyways, all that is to say is that i was able to get the courage to have many honest, candid conversations like that with my boyfriend, and i really do feel that if i had continued to live my life suppressing my desires out of that fear of rocking the boat, i wouldn't have the great, fulfilling relationship i have now.

last weekend, i had the scariest conversation yet. we'd been talking about moving in together, and i had this nagging fear in my head that like. we'd do that, and that would be it. i want to be lovingly married, and have children, and a relationship where we build together. i was worried moving in would be a final step instead of a next step.

so, i tried to bring it up. i actually choked on my words at first lol. but as soon as i got it out -- "are you interested in talking about marriage to me?" -- he smiled and said of course.

intermission, i can't get over the way my partner's patience, honesty and kindness has given me the room to heal so much relationship trauma. every time i get scared to have conversations, it's a reaction. every time he shows me i don't need to be, it's like... surreal. healing.

so we talked about marriage. how we want to treat moving in as a next step, and not the final step. we want to be married in the next two years, have a small and intimate wedding with two ceremonies -- one American traditional, the other Korean traditional. not spend too much on that wedding, so we can have a nice honeymoon. take a year or two before trying for children -- he says he wants two.

i'm starting to cry a little now lol. this is a brand new feeling for me, it's like strength and joy together? he loves me, man. like actually loves me. he doesn't stop when my weight goes up, or i get laid off, i go through it with some depressive episodes. no gaslighting, no withholding of affection, no meanspirited criticisms, no disappearing and reappearing, or intuition telling me he's losing interest or cheating.

and he's sure about me. that's a powerful feeling.

#my life

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dolokhoded · 3 years

Text

me starting to actually write this even though it still very obviously has some plot wholes

that ralbert au where race commits war crimes

i think it's really cute

so pulitzer is the big bad guy here for i'm basic reasons

has created some,, weird ass dumb ass evil empire

destroyed a couple towns

caused some battles

divided the world

y'know. stuff like that.

starting off with some spicy unfinished plot 🤩 but lbh it doesn't really matter anyways we're all just here for ralbert

anyways, race and al's families? pretty big part of that.

they're both supposed to take over their fathers' jobs when they grow up

said jobs basically being,, in charge of,,, unleashing people to raid entire towns and burn them to the ground

they grew up side by side, have always been best friends, never seen without each other

but understandably when they started growing up and understanding what was going on around them it,,,,,,, troubled them

and they dealed with it Very Differently

albert did Not like it

he was angry, and he was sad that this was what he was supposed to become and he was already never close with his family so it wasn't really hard for him to decide he didn't want anything to do with them anymore

race,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, okay look

deep inside him race knew what was going on was,,, s o wrong

but race was also from a big tight family, it was so much easier for him to just,,,,,, shut all of that out and pretend he was just doing what was better for them

it was hard for him, it was his family

still you can understand how well it went for them when albert left and race refused to go with him

they were 17 at the time

people against pulitzer's whole thing were obviously not very,,,,,,,,, well appreciated?

the moment albert ran away he was art of the defiance. he was a traitor.

but he was also still dasilva's son and they wanted them on their side, so they wouldn't seriously hurt him

doesn't mean they stopped looking for him

he shared an apartment with romeo and finch for a while, it was in a pretty lowkey neighborhood and they covered for him

and through them he met the rest of the newsies :) who actively helped in trying to help people who's homes were destroyed by pulitzer

there were people actively fighting him too but the newsies were mostly in charge of that

well, until albert and his non-existent impulse control arrived anyways

cause look,,,,, race was being trained for a reason, and eventually he took over

so when you see this ur ex-best friend who you're in love with but have a lot of repressed feelings for, both good and bad, that you decide to dump in the 'im angry' pile and just pretend you hate him and no longer care about him,,,,, fighting occurs

and there was a bit of controversy about albert joining them because "it's the dasilva boy romeo he was specifically trained to kick our asses" but that slowly turns into "yea ok he's very legit but for the love of god someone s t o p him the next time he tries to kiLL SOMEONE-"

that's a hyperbole, of course. even as rivals, albert wouldn't kill race. he barely even hurts him.

if anything, he even kind of looks out for him

he knows he's not supposed to but somehow he still can't bring himself to let race get hurt

besides let's be honest, most of their encounters are just an excuse to bitch at each other, they'd never do anything they know would seriously hurt the other

they know each other pretty well, they grew up together, they know each other's strengths and weaknesses

which is a pretty big advantage for them, honestly

enter,,,, albert dasilva's galaxy brain and the newsies' favorite game

Is Albert A Strategic Genius Or Is He Just In Love With Race

"no i've got this i know race!! i can use that against him!!!! i can guess his every move!!!! that's how well i know him!!!! i can recognize him in a room of like a billion people!!!!! it's my ultra strategic mind!!!! i can tell the sound of his voice from miles away!!!! it's because im so invested!!!!"

specs is like "in the mission or in race"

and albert is like "WHATEVER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IT'S MY STRATEGIC MIND"

"I AM A MACHINE SPECS"

"you're chronically dumb"

"S T R A T E G I C M I N D."

albert really came in like well race's plan's gonna be ruined cause IM IN LOVE WITH HIM >:) what a fuckin loser

all this aside,,,,,,, albert never stops trying to get race on their side .

now RACETRACK,,,,,,,,,

we have a WHOLE LOT of being an asshole as a defense mechanism from this boy

in race's eyes, albert abandoned him

in race's eyes, he was given up on. he just wasn't enough to keep him there.

he can't see anything but that and never in a million years would he bring himself to believe albert still cares about him

he'd be getting his hopes too high and letting down his guard, and he can't afford to do that.

race doesn't notice albert trying to help him, he doesn't notice albert very carefully avoiding injuring him, he doesn't notice how albert will never say anything that would hurt him

albert's always protective of race, regardless of if he's beside or against him

which leads us to how once race eventually does get hurt, seriously hurt, literally no one bats an eye when albert returns with race unconscious, demanding they get him help

which they do, cause albert has not shut up about race for like one second, the newsies might as well know as much about him as albert did

naturally when race woke up he,,, had questions

and then he saw albert

he was sat on a chair next to him, sleeping

and this is the first time he's seen him like this in ages

and he gets a little chocked up because holy shit he almost forgot albert was,,,,,like,,, a person

and it wasn't necessary to only see him when fighting

he still had a life and friends and people he loved and he wasn't just this dude who left them because he didn't give a shit about anyone

he could genuinely care for people and he could love people and race just remembered how much he wished he could be one of those people

and how much he wished he could be albert's favorite person again and just sit and talk and laugh with him like they used to

cause that's a part of albert he'd forced himself to just forget about

and then al wakes up and he sees him looking up at him and he's like

"how're you feeling"

and then he's sad cause it's much harder to know albert is a good person with real feelings and he's capable of loving so much and race thinks he's just one of the people who will never get that side of him and he just

"fuck off"

they fight

because of course they do

they're not really sure on what terms they are at this point, and there's so much they need to get out there

at first race is just,,,, stubborn

he won't listen, he demands they let him go back

"we can just let you go, idiot, i shouldn't have ever brought you here in the first place!"

"then why did you?"

and al just shrugs it away as if he hasn't been in love with him for years and would never forgive himself if he left him there to bleed

they just go yelling at each other back and forth for a while until inevitably albert's non-existent impulse control makes his return

and he,,,,, very angrily tells him he loves him

and everything just stops cause that's the one thing race though he'd never hear him say again

and race is literally holding his breath cause he's scared he'll ruin it if he moves in the slightest and it'll all turn out to be in his head but it's not cause when he tells albert he loves him back he's still there and he just,,

takes race's face in his hands and kisses him so softly it's like they weren't just screaming at each other's faces

romeo just fuckin pokes his head in like "i heard yelling but i also heard i love you so i'll assume some of those unresolved feelings were let out and we're all ready to have a nice long healthy chat, yeah? :D"

so they do

they talk. for,,,,,,,,, a long time.

needless to say, race stays

he loves his family and maybe he'll be back for them, maybe he'll help them but he recognizes what's the priority here

plus it's a little clearer now that he doesn't have all those feelings to worry about, and it's been a while since he was actually accepted and loved, which the newsies did instantly. it's pretty obvious where he belongs now.

this au still has,,,,, SO much to unpack, holy shit, but i decided to leave this post here cause,,,,, i can't do all of that now. i might at some point though, if people actually are interested, there's a lot of hurt/comfort from this point. there's the nightmares part which is v soft and i adore it, THERE'S JUST A LOT TO UNPACK. so yeah, i'm finally posting this, ralbert stans, come get y'all's juice.

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border-spam · 3 years

Text

-- Uroboros log - Encrypted E-Call - S3NT1N3L / S0litar3 - source Commercial trade vessel ID 122-J-Prom / Cpt - Seifa A’rosk / SAVED blame=GKT --

(Mid CoV)

Seifa: Hey Chunk. I hope you understood but this is a private message to you, ok? Just for you, don't show Ven or anyone else even if they ask you. I recorded this just for JK, just for you and no one else so keep it with you and not with them, it's yours. Sorry if my voice is a bit janky. I'm.. I'm feelin' it pal. Had a few, getting a bit blurry around the edges.

Seifa : I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. I know you asked me to make sure I would, that feels like a long time ago now. You knew before I did, huh. You always know things before any of us do. I wonder sometimes if you're the one with the future sight and Ven is just talkin' shit. That would be funny wouldn't it? There just wasn't time, lovely Jak-Knife. I wish there had been so I could say this properly to you, but I think you know what it's like to need to go, sometimes there just. There isn't time.

Seifa : Sorry I didn't get to meet your little friend too, I keep thinking about that? Been flying for 8 hours now and I've thought about that so much. You kept telling me their name and I- I can't remember what it was, I'm so sorry man. Berserker or.. BladeBomb, the little Skag with the limp? Never got around to visiting the barrack's kennels did I, and you welcomed me to come so many times. I'm sorry, always too busy and not with shit that was important. Story of my life.

Seifa : JK listen to me. Troy is going to be on a warpath. Listen JK, please - It is not your war.

Seifa : I know you, you'll want to somehow protect the idea of me he's spitting on as he rants and you'll want to pull him out of whatever shitty mire he starts to drown himself in, but don't.

Seifa : Just let him. He can't hurt the real me ok? He can just snarl and bite at what he remembers of me and it will be almost all because he wants to hurt HIMSELF anyway, not me. So let him. Just watch and let him. We all spent too long trying to stop him dealing with the pain that comes with making stupid fucking mistakes, it's time he dealt with consequences.

Seifa : He didn't hurt me by the way, don't rip his other arm out. He's going to need that one to jack off while crying himself to sleep like a pathetic fucking child for the next couple of months anyway, hehehehe.

Seifa : Please be good. Please be careful. He's not your only charge. Ven and Eli won't want to see you hurt over him, they love you so much. Your lady with the poetry and the tanks? She's your refuge, how would she feel knowing you were facing pointless danger when she gives so much of herself to people who only see her act and not her, all to keep you safe? And you. YOU gotta look after yourself and think about yourself too. I know you told me the mask is your face, the meat is a weapon, I know that...

Seifa : But the heart under it isn't a club, your laugh and those big warm hands are you just as much. Be kind to them, yeah?

Seifa : I wanted to ask, you don't have to explain this I know it might mean things to your people I won't understand, or maybe its like, uh. Maybe its some religious thing, I don't know man, I don't want to be rude or nothin' but...

Seifa : You would say things sometimes about eyes. About like. The watching... something? That there was something about the twins, the mouth and the eye or. The hunger and the.. all seeing .. or - I never really followed but.

Seifa : Look, when you said those things where you doing what I explained I did with words sometimes - where the words didn't mean the words I was saying, they were painting a picture in your head for you to look at and understand what I was trying to explain, or were you saying those things because... you had seen them?

Seifa : I think I saw something and I don't know. If I was. Just confused or so tired. Or so angry and I don't. I don't have anyone to ask because maybe I never listened properly. Sorry I'm just. Hahaha.

Seifa : Think my hand is broke by the way! Add that to the fucking list. If he looks like he's in pain or his jaw is all bruised up? Feel free to laugh. Really laugh, inside. OK? Do that for me, pal. It'll help me sleep.

Seifa : I have to go now I'll be off the grid for a while, just need to send one of these to V and E, remember JK. This is not your war. Let him wage it on himself and watch for once.

Seifa : Love ya chunk, say hi to Shitsploshion or whatever your lil' skag was for me.

-- Encrypted contact ends --

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #troy calypso #calypso twins #leech lord #seifa #oc: ven #oc: jak-knife #jak-knife #my hcs #my writing

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mother-snake · 4 years

Note

Me: *looks at completed homework* *looks at Jessie* *looks at homework* Now that I have my freedom your heart is in danger once again. Be warned brave friend.

Also me: JANUS!! GET YOUR BLOND HEAD OUT HERE!!! I NEED YOU AGAIN!

faintly in the distance: noooooooo

~~~~~~~~

All the sides were wearing black.

They just got home from a very sad event that day, no one wanted to say the title out loud because they couldn't accept that he was gone. Rain hit the mindscape windows, similarly, tears were streaming down all of their faces.

After the event, all the sides went to their rooms. All except a certain dark blue side.

Logan was on the couch. Black suit being crumpled by the lax sitting position. In his shaking hands was held a letter. Everyone had at least one letter. Logan had the most with five letters. Each one had a number.

Logan grabbed the letter labeled #1

It was of medium size. White envelope contrasting with the red wax used to seal it. The only thing that marked that it was for him was the blue ink used to mark his name.

Trying not to tear the paper. Logan opened the letter and started to read.

Dear Logan,

I guess if you're reading this I'm gone. To that fact, I'm truly sorry. I wish I could be there. But this is for the best.

I suppose you know what happened to the dark side by now. If you don't well.... Its gone. Wrath, Apathy and Depression were just getting too powerful, it didn't matter how much I hid them away they still got to Thomas... and I can't have them destroying Thomas's life. I need to do my job, even if it kills me. I really did enjoy your company! I hope you know that.

Often times the only thing that could get me out of the bed in the morning was being able to see your face. Or being able to debate with you. Or seeing you talk about space for hours! God Logan, I could go on for hours about how you made my horrid life better. You were my best friend.

These letters are going to be written over a period of time. I don't think I have it in me to say goodbye to the 5 people who made my life tolerable all at once. I'm going to be writing one letter a day. Till tomorrow Logan?

~Deceit Sanders

Logan let out a steady breath. He refused to cry over the first letter. He debated over reading all of the letters at once but.... Janus said tomorrow... He'll read letter #2 the following day.

The next morning was just as somber. Logan sat on his bed and gripped the second letter.

This one was the same size, but the envelope was a light baby blue. The seal black. Logan opened it with just as much care as before.

Hello Logan

Another day, another migraine? I get it... Not the time for jokes. I just finished writing Roman's second letter. I always felt so bad for everything involving Roman.

I manipulated him, I told him lies, I compared him to his brother. Kinda makes me deserve this I have a feeling he might try something. Snake instincts. Watch him for me, please? You five need to be a family, I've witnessed what happens to sides to end up hating eachother. Its not pretty. You don't want that Logan.

I guess that is what makes me have to do this. If we only acted like a family I wouldn't have to do this. I wouldn't have to do a lot of things if the darks weren't pricks.

The stupid thing is that I know you would try to talk me out of this plan. And you're right. God you're always right. Why do you have to be right all the time? I wish I was right all the time. But its ok. I'll be the side who hides the truth.

Blessings and a curses, right?

I'll write to you again tomorrow Logan

~ Janus Deceit Sanders

Logan gulped in another breath. He could read that crossed out section... Janus was right. They have to be there for eachother.

Why don't they go watch Janus' favourite movies? That sounds like a fun way to remember someone. Logan got the others.

-time skip-

It was just passed midnight. Everyone else was asleep on the couch as Coraline played on the TV. Logan stared at the third letter. It was technically the next day.... Logan grabbed the letter.

This letters envelope was a burnt tan colour. Yellow wax acted as the seal.

My dear, Logan

I never wanted to be hugged so much then I do right now. I have to barricade my door to prevent Wrath from getting inside, he's always been a loud side.

I remember when I was nothing but a child -Virgil is ten years older then me. Did you know that? I forget that sometimes- I always had blond hair. I know that you and the other lights also have lighter coloured hair. Well anyway. Wrath hates my hair, says that I don't belong. I can also only do that little silencing trick when I'm on your side of the mind. And I can only automatically heal when on the light side too. Huh. I never released how long that list was. Maybe I'm just defective... That has to be it... Right?

I always looked up to you. You could tell people how it was and not cower when things go wrong. You truly are amazing Logan. You need to show the others that. I know that the others love and care for you. You need to accept that love logan! Please. Don't fall into a similar pit of despair I fell into so long ago. I never escaped that pit. Don't fall in it too.

I know how you like to cope Logan. You seek familiar things that remind you of that person. Thats why I did something for you. Under your bed is my all time favourite book, Good Omens, My favourite snacks and an USB with my playlist on it. I hope you love them as much as I did Logan. I'll write to you tomorrow.

~Janus Sanders

Janus wasn't lying when he found the little care package. Logan wasn't crying. Absolutely not! Patton was cooking with onions. Logan never released how much he loved chocolate covered pretzels and jazz until that moment.

The next day Logan didn't even bother to get dressed. He just grabbed the next letter. A soft pastel yellow with a blue seal. Logan tore it open, eger to read what the yellow side wrote next.

Dear Bluebell,

Kinda weird calling you that. But I guess I won't be alive long enough to see your negative reaction. Bluebells were always my favourite flower. Would it be rude to keep calling you bluebell? Well, I guess it's a little too late for that.

It just came to my attention that by this time tomorrow I'm going to be...Gone. I made the poison that would get rid of them. My venom is one of the only things that can kill a side. Would be a bit ironic dying from my own venom huh? Well, I might as well tell you my plan.

Do you remember that party you and the others snuck into? The masquerade? We're having another party tomorrow. And it was always my job to serve the wine. We can't have the others being suspicious to why I didn't drink my wine. They will be dead in less then ten minutes. My venom is painful. But it'll kill them. I'll kill them 10x over, I'm not looking forward to five minutes in where the venom shuts down your lungs.

Anyway, I'm a side known for plans right? Not always the best plans but it counts. I still remember debating with you as Patton. Maybe... Maybe I could sneak over today? Pathetic last wish, but I would love to have a hug and a movie. I'm going to head over to your side soon.

Bluebell Logan when I'm gone. I need you to do something for me. Don't let them forget me...Please. That is all I want. I don't want my body to be left inside of that empty house. I don't want to die next to the people I hate the most. All I ever wanted was to see you smile. I'll see you later today.

~Bumblebee

Logan was crying. That day... Janus asked for a hug and a movie.

He only gave Janus a hug after the look of heart break was too much for him to bear. Logan didn't wait to grab the next letter.

My Beloved Bluebell

Today is the day, I never thought I would admit this but... I'm scared. Do you think that there is Heaven and Hell for sides? If there is I guess I'm going to hell. Suicide is a sin. Not like anything else I've done deserves heaven.

I don't have very long for this letter. 30 minutes. I have 30 minutes till my heart stops. God I'm terrified. This is the last letter I'm writing Logan. I finished writing Virgil's letters yesterday. All thats left is your letter. And holy fuck I'm scared.

I have to do this, I overheard Wrath making a plan to overthrow the mind. I can't let that happen. I would fail at my only job. It doesn't matter if I'm scared or not, I need to do my job. Thomas would suffer if I didn't.

20 minuites, I have ten minutes till the party. My hand is shaking. Can you tell from my writing? I hope you can still read this. If you can't the letter is pointless.

Logan, I know that this is never something you would reciprocate but...

I love you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to take you to the moon for a honeymoon and take you dancing among the stars. I wanted to be the tired husband that has to deal with your legionds of roommates. Logan I love you so god damn much I can't put it into words. I know you could never love me though. Its ok.

Take care of yourself for me please. Don't let your beautiful family fall apart. Don't let the despair of my death cause one of yours. Don't let one of the others blame themselves. This is no ones fault but mine.

I love you

~Janus Sanders

Logan dropped the letter and let out the most agonizing scream that could ever come out of his mouth. He cried. He cried and cried and cried. He cried until no more sound came out and his eyes burned.

He didn't notice when the other four came into the room and held him close.

All Logan did was trace the words on the page.

"I love you too, my bumblebee."

The sides could only feel the hole in their heart grow bigger.

~~~~~

I made myself sad again. I CAN'T EVEN CRY! MY PARENTS ARE IN THE ROOM! Curse my own brain ;-;

Here it is!

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dangan-happy · 3 years

Note

(I want Mikan to have wheelies to escape her feelies. | I've never really done this before, but uhm.. I'd like a little comfort from Izuru, Rantaro or Nagito if that's okay.. also tw for s/h and a little self deprecating, though nothing too explicit. Sorry.)

I just.. accidentally triggered myself, I guess? A few years ago I stole my fathers swiss army knife and tried something stupid for the first time. I felt like a worthless whore and I know I did it for attention...I did it to be like a few people close to me. The thing is, I couldn't look at swiss army knives without thinking about it after that, but I thought I was over it. It's like how cheap plastic sharpeners made me think about it, but now it rarely happens. It's not like I did it many times, either. It's not like I enjoyed it or needed it. Maybe once or twice it wasn't so bad, and maybe I liked watching the color run down a little but it was punishment, and even if I feel like I hate myself I know I don't need to do that anymore. I just used that same swiss army knife to open a package and.. having it in my hand, all I could think about were my ankles. I'm safe, I'm not doing that again. But it just won't leave my head. I want to cry and hold on to someone but I don't.. want to talk about it with anyone. I feel disgusting for having done that and one time I tried again after a breakdown and I'm scared it'll happen again. I can't really say I'm working hard or doing my best, but I'm trying a little. I don't think I'll ever really do it again, and I know I can hold back if I just walk away for a bit, but I'm still scared that I'll stay and.. be awful again. I want to do better, for my friends. I don't want them to have to deal with me, I want to help them. So I guess..I should try helping myself, right?

Hey anon, don't worry about it. I'm a little more self deprecating than I'd like to be myself, and while those feelings aren't good, they're nothing to apologize for. Don't ever call yourself a whore, got it? You told me exactly why you did it, and that's sadly a really common reason that people try those things. You just wanted to fit in with the people around you, and that doesn't make you a whore at all. It was a bad choice yeah, but you know that and I'm proud of you for that. Yeah, I get it. That's the thing with habits like this. Sometimes you think you're over it, and then out of nowhere you jump back into it out of the blue. It sounds like some of the objects you mentioned are visual triggers for those urges, so that might be something to keep in mind. I really am glad to hear that you didn't do it often. Yeah, I think you might have some psychological thing linked to doing it. Something like this always happens for a reason, it's not an action people do for no reason. Even if it's not the typical reason for it, it doesn't discredit that you did do it for a reason, and that you were driven to that point. I'm real sorry you were, but again I'm glad to hear that you didn't do it too much. Hey, it's perfectly understandable that you were thinking that way ok? That knife is linked to the action, it's a thought pattern. It's a natural, very real thing sadly, and it doesn't make you disgusting in the least. I'm really happy to hear that you said you're safe for the time being.

Hey, trying at all is amazing ok? You're strong in your resolve to not do it again, and that's real admirable. That's still a huge step forward, even if you aren't giving it your all yet. I'm really proud that you can hold back. Seriously, that's so, so amazing. So many people get sucked into the pattern, and knowing that you have the strength to walk away even if there is still a possibility of it happening again. Yeah, you should always want to do better for your friends, but mainly for yourself. You deserve to be as happy and as pain free as possible. You matter, no matter how many self deprecating thoughts you have. You're a person too, and you deserve to be happy. Since there is still a minimal risk, there's no shame in avoiding blades or that specific blade if you want to. Treat yourself gently, even if yours is a more minimal case on the grand scheme of things, you're still recovering, and you can take all the time you need. I know you really don't want to talk to someone, but honestly I think it might be a good idea to. Reach out to a counselor or therapist. These people are literally trained to help with problems like this for their job, and they won't find you disgusting. Honestly, no one should because you're not. I know you can use your full effort to do better. I know you want to do better, even if it's not for yourself right now. I think the first step is reaching out to a professional.

I know it's scary, but trust me, I wouldn't recommend it if I didn't think it would help. That'll make it easier for you to use your full effort to get better, and it might even start to let you see what an amazing person you are. You're strong and brave and really kindhearted for wanting to get better for your friends. But you should want to get better for yourself too, ok? Don't discredit yourself. I know you can't see how many amazing things there are about you right now, but hopefully with some time you will. You're not a whore and you're not disgusting. You're strong and amazing and you deserve all the happiness in the world. Good luck ok? If you can do this much with little effort, I can't wait to see what you can do with all of it.

Not to toot my sad little horn. But I feel as if I’m the king of self deprecation Anon. First of all; you aren’t a worthless whore. That’s wrong in so many ways. As far as I’ve seen you’ve done nothing to exhibit such a thing. No need to put yourself down as well, you were just following a trend, it happens when you’re younger, and they aren’t always for the best. I’m glad that you didn’t continue it even further. It’s normal that that would trigger something. Going through a traumatic moment like that is not easy. I know it sounds silly. But try and stay away from some of the things that you’ve found that may trigger you. For your mental health. And I’m sorry for getting stern. But you deserve no punishment whatsoever. Nobody ever deserves such a thing; unless they’re into Despair.

Hating yourself is something I’m all to familiar with. But Anon, I don’t know what’s happened in your past, but I assure you, you surely don’t deserve to hate yourself. Hopefully you’ve learned to love yourself. It’s a hard thing to learn, but that’s the best step you can ever take in reaching Hope and happiness. I recommend honestly throwing the knife away. Unless your grandpa gave it to you for sentimental reasons of some sort, perhaps hiding it away somewhere that you won’t consider looking for it. Maybe have someone hide it away. Getting that item out of your life seems like a good step to me in this recovery. I recommend actually talking to someone however. I know you don’t want to; but that’s always a good option. Talking about things like this is always good; helps you get things off your chest and have another shoulder to lean on, someone to help you through this Despair. Specifically a therapist if you’re comfortable with that. A trained person who knows how to handle and help people with these sort of things are always the best. For relapsing; you shouldn’t feel disgusting about doing it again. You know it’s not healthy and that’s all that matters. Sometimes people relapse, and that’s ok. As long as they seek help in the end is what matters. When this feeling returns, I beg of you to what you can to stop yourself; take a walk or go talk to a friend to distract yourself. That’s what friends are for; to help you during your hard times. If they don’t; can you truly call them friends? I urge you to talk, at least a little bit with them. You and your friends are together so you can help each other grow! I believe in you Anon, try getting in contact with a therapist as soon as you’re able to, perhaps look up things as well to help with triggers? Do a bit of research.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #rantaro amami #mod rantaro #nagito komaeda #mod nagito

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