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solitudeintheheart · 10 months

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I got this idea in my head and it's literally drowning me. It's a toxic thing with Konig, so if you don't wanna write that, I totally get it, just ignore it. (Your blog feeds my obsession 💀)

The team gets sent on a mission to debunk some cartel or smth and a long the way they run into a girl who was being held captive w the bad guys and since Konig finds her first, he saves her and since she has no one else, she clings to him and he is just obsessed with her. Like someone so innocent just attached herself to his hip and only trusts him and it makes him crazy for her because he's never had anyone like that. He tries hard in missions to get back to her, she waits up and keeps his bed warm so she knows he's okay. Anyone disrespects her? Dead. Talk about her in anyway but perfect? Dead. Touch her? Deader than dead. He's her savior and she's his girl. That's just how it is.

Perfect, perfect, perfect! A lovely request from your majesty. You really are a shining beacon to the kingdom, and I will happily accept!

I present to you…

STUCK LIKE GLUE

PART ONE | PART TWO HERE (2.0k words)

CW: guns, mentions of possible abuse, but other than that, just fluff

“These low-lives really like to run around and hide, don’t they Colonel?” Horangi speaks in a quiet tone as the Kortac team walks through a mountain-range forest. They were sent to catch a bunch of cartel-nobodies in the middle of a trade-off by surprise, but after the unit’s location was continuously found out, they had been on a wild goose-chase ever since.

“Ja, but we will get them this time. I feel it in my bones.” He had a confident tone, and his voice was raspy. “Let’s split up, we will find their transaction site faster that way.” König began to walk through the bushes, trying to make his steps as light as possible. His gun aimed and ready for anything that would pop out, he walked until he came across a small, worn-down shed. He hid behind a tree and saw a man sitting outside on his phone; he was probably supposed to guard the shed, but the lack of more security arose suspicions. He aimed his gun and fired, and the man fell to the ground. His eyes scanned the perimeter for any other enemies, and he determined everything was all clear. He walked to the side of the shed and peeked through the window, where he saw a woman with her hands and legs tied together. She lay on a tattered mattress, and it honestly seemed like she hadn’t had a bath in days, her only clothes were her undergarments. He looked inside the rest of the shed and saw no one else, so he walked back around to the door and opened it quietly. With the door now wide open, the woman backed away into the corner and trembled at the sight of such a large, hooded man before her.

“Please…please just leave me alone…” Her voice was shaky, and her eyes began to well up with tears. What had she really gone though?

“Do not worry, miss, I am not here to hurt you,” He stepped closer with as much gentleness as possible, trying his best to not scare her any further. He crouched low to the ground and laid his gun down, his hands in front of his chest with his palms facing her. “I am here to help you get out, if you will let me…?” He removed his glove and reached over to undo her restraints. She looked at his rough, coarse hands covered in calluses, and although it wasn’t the prettiest sight, she suddenly felt safe. Maybe this guy really could give her a home.

Once the ropes fell to the floor, she threw herself onto him in a tight hug. König couldn’t fathom the possible atrocities that were committed to this woman, and just thinking about them made him want to hug her back, but tighter.

“Colonel, we found the location. Where are you?” Horangi’s voice came through a radio on König’s chest, and he pressed a button on it to respond.

“I found one hostage in a shed. A woman,”

“They have hostages?” Horangi sighed quietly on the other end.

“I only saw one, but who knows if there will be more. Let’s just hope there aren’t.” König asked for the coordinates and looked down at the woman who was now staring at him.

“I need you to come with me so I can keep you safe, but we will be going near the bad men. Are you alright with that? You’ll have to obey my orders if you don’t want to get hurt.” His eyes softened for her, she looked around and bit her finger trying to make a decision.

“A-alright…” She said, and she was suddenly swept off her feet. König carried her bridal style so her bare feet wouldn’t scratch on the forest ground. To someone like her, he looked like a god; her savior in her darkest time. The entire time she was carried, she looked at him with awe.

“I need you to stay low and quiet, okay?” He placed her down a little far away and he patted her hair. He peeked up from the plants and regrouped with the rest, his hand gesturing forward for the entire unit to start moving towards the abandoned building where the trade-off was taking place. She looked through the shrubs and watched as they all surrounded the building and then bursted in. She cupped her hands over her ears when the sound of gunfire and yelling that seemed to last forever took place, and she worried if her savior wouldn’t make it out alive. What if he gets killed, or worse, what if he gets taken like she did? She waited until the gunfire stopped and she ran to the building, her feet getting scratched and cut by the sticks on the ground. She slammed the door open and looked inside, panting. Multiple guns were pointed at her out of caution.

“Warte, don’t hurt her!” König’s voice boomed through the building and everyone immediately put their guns down. Her eyes welled up with tears, and just as her knees were about to give in, he rushed to her side and held her up.

“I-I thought something bad happened to you…!” She clung to his shirt and cried into his chest; her sobs could break the hearts of people who didn’t even know what was going on. He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry all she wanted.

“Who is this?” They all began to walk closer, curious as to who had tamed the wild beast that was König.

“The single hostage,” He crouched down so they were now eye level and took off his gloves, his hands held her face. “Did you really think I’d let something bad happen to me? I’m tougher than I look, Liebling.”

What a spectacle it was to see König being gentle with someone, as the only side they’ve seen of him was one full of bloodshed and gore. Now it almost seemed as if flowers were growing around him.

“Do you have a home to go to?” He asked, and she shook her head.

“I had a father, but he was killed for not paying off his debts. It’s just me…” Her voice was still shaky, but she was no longer crying. He nodded and picked her up once again, he turned around to look at his team.

“She will come back to base with us, and I will take care of her. If any of you even try something, I’ll tear your limbs off one by one.” By his eyes alone, everyone could tell he wasn’t joking. This lost puppy has found its new owner, and he will make sure she never loses her way again.

————————

The ride back to base was silent, not because it was awkward, but because the team knew that if they even peeped a word and woke the girl, they’d regret it later. She was carried to König’s room and was sat down on a chair, König kneeled down in front of her as she rubbed her eyes.

“Do you think you have enough energy for a bath?” He asked while looking up at her. She nodded and stood up, he led her to the bathroom. He turned on the water and let the tub fill up before wondering how she was going to wash herself without getting hurt. It seems as though he really has taken her for a helpless animal that he came across, wounded and forlorn.

“I’ll look away while you undress and get in the tub. Make sure to sit with your back towards me so I can wash your hair.” He took off his gear and looked at the wall as he heard the sounds of clothes falling to the ground. There were small splashes of water when she stepped in, and it finally grew quiet.

“Alright, you can turn around now.” He turned around and sat on the floor of the bathroom so he wouldn’t accidentally see her naked body. He reached forward and splashed water on her hair before pumping shampoo in his hands and lathering it all over. He made sure to be gentle as his fingers massage her scalp, her head bounced backwards every so often from nearly falling asleep.

“Can you wash your body yourself?” He asked quietly and she nodded. She put body wash on her hands and foamed it up as she rubbed it on her upper body. Once he saw that she finished, he grabbed the shower head and rinsed her hair and body off.

“You can dry off now, I’ll wait outside.” He grabbed a towel and handed it to her, those small hands grabbing it with grace contrasting his rough hold. After König left the bathroom, he sat on the couch and leaned back, rubbing his eyes. This girl was now his responsibility, but he surprisingly wasn’t complaining. Normally he would prefer to not have to watch over someone twenty-four seven, but she was an exception.

She walked out of the bathroom with the towel on, but her hair dropped water on the floor. How could he forget to get her clothes? He rose up quickly and looked through his wardrobe, trying to find something for her to wear before she gets sick from the cold. He yanked out a large t-shirt and sweatpants and handed them to her.

“Are you alright with wearing this without undergarments? I’ll take you to buy some tomorrow after my mission, so don’t fret.” He gave her the clothes when she nodded, and he turned around, listening for the sound of fabric grazing against her skin. She tapped his shoulder and he shifted his body back towards her. His clothes fit very loosely on her, and the sweatpants were clearly big, but it would have to do for tonight.

“You can sleep on my bed for the night. I’ll set up some blankets down on the floor.” He looked under his bed and took out a box full of blankets, opening it and setting them down on the floor.

“No, I couldn’t…I’d feel bad,”

“And I’d feel worse if you don’t.” He looked up at her, he was kneeling on the floor trying to straighten out each of the blankets before she unsuccessfully tried to pick him up by the arm.

“Then let’s both sleep on the bed. Please?” She had those same eyes when he first found her, and as if some gravitational pull attracted him to her, he didn’t hesitate to move onto the bed and lay her down next to him. They were face to face when he laid down, taking in all of her facial features while the only thing the girl could look at were his eyes.

“I have to go wash up as well, so you should fall asleep first, alright?” He brushed the hair on her face behind her ear and sat up. “Oh, and don’t worry if you don’t see me next morning, my mission starts early. I’ll come back quickly, though.” He smiled and stood up, making his way to the bathroom.

————————

König stumbled to his quarters and opened the door, the girl lay on his bed sleeping peacefully. It had been around a month since she had come into his life, and he had already grown accustomed to her. He took a shower and walked back out to the bed, he lay himself in front of her and enveloped her in his arms. Her eyes fluttered open to see a maskless König, which she had the privilege of seeing weeks before, and she cuddled closer to him.

“When did you get back?” Her voice was quiet and muffled against his chest.

“Around thirty or forty minutes ago. You should go back to sleep.” He kissed her forehead and massaged her back, allowing her breathing to be his lullaby. She may have thought him her savior, but to him, this woman was his downfall. His only weakness was a girl who had looked to him for the comfort of a home.

#call of duty #call of duty fanfic #cod mw2 #fanfic #konig call of duty #konig mw2 #konig smut #konig x reader #konig modern warfare #könig cod #konig cod #könig fanfiction #könig call of duty #könig modern warfare #könig #könig mw2

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tsams-confessions · 2 months

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Not so short confession about Eclipse and the entire TSAMS lore: Eclipse was only the bad guy because everyone treated him like one.

Hate me all you want, but was prooven with KC, Solar, old Moon, Lunar (who is technically all that was good inside Eclipse) Ruin, heck, even with Sun that with a TINY BIT of love and care, anyone can change for the better. Solar needed his Sun to care about him in the start, and he never became a bad guy, even after his Sun died. KC needed, what? A 10 MINUTES LONG FRIENDLY CONVO with Glamrock Freddy, and after that he overcame his base coding. Old Moon sacrifised himself to not kill anymore person, giving KC and himself a chance in life to be better. Ruin was saved because new Moon and Sun risked their lifes and only way back to their home to get the cure for Ruin, even though Ruin brought Bloodmoon back, blew up the daycare and tormented them worse than Eclipse. Sun didn't go insane and potentially more suicidal because Earth showed up (I don't think he would've survived the guilt of loosing Moon without her). And Lunar... Eclipse got rid of his part that cared and wanted to be more than a villain, the part of him that longed for love and understanding... and to be fair I would be mad too if I was doomed to be a villain, and then the people who wronged me accepted my scrapped loving part without hesitation (which I scrapped because I hated I cared about said people) while I never got a chance to show I can be better. This doesn't justify what Eclipse did, because he still killed Lunar. Imma say it louder so everyone will understand: THIS DOESN'T JUSTIFY WHAT ECLIPSE DID TO LUNAR, BECAUSE IT WAS HORRIBLE AND WRONG IN SO MANY LEVELS!!!

But who didn't hurt/traumatize/killed their loved ones here? Old Moon was hardcore abusive with Sun and started this whole Eclipse problem (Moon cared still, but that doesn't excuse what he did to Sun), Sun killed Bloodmoon and hate to say it but he killed old Moon too without wanting to, KC, who was literally redeemed and forgiven killed probably hundreds of innocent people. Sun even gave Bloodmoon one last chance to be redeemed, but Eclipse? This mf died while trying to warn the only people he still somehow cared for, no matter how scrapped he was. He was begging to be heard out, not giving a flying fuck if Sun hurts him (and sidenote, even when Moon threatened to kill Eclipse, he accepted it, just wanted to be heard out, while Solar, when his Moon was truthfully wanting to kill him, he killed his Moon. Eclipse didn't even bother). He could've use the star to stop Sun, and he didn't.

And that's what I love in the lore of TSAMS, because this doesn't seem unintentional. Every now and then it's shown and prooven that with a tiny bit of understanding and love, ANYONE can change. All of the main characters (except for Earth and Lunar) did horrible things beforehand, and the only reason they stayed sane and didn't go down on a bad path on the long run because they had love and support by their side. Eclipse died TWICE, and even though it was confirmed by a celestial being who WATCHES THE ENTIRE COSMOS that this Eclipse is not the one who killed Lunar, he still payes the prize of V1 and 2 Eclipse's actions. And honestly... I don't understand new Moon and Solar, the two genius of the current lore: what do you expect from this copy of an Eclipse? He is a literally badly put togther scrapped dude who lives with horrying memories and has no idea why he lives. JUST MAYBEEE, if you'd give him a system repair, he would be less violent and more capable of helping you? Maybe? Oh yeah right I forgot that there is one universal rule throughout all dimensions: we hate and overvillainize our og Eclipse, because anyone deserves a chance in life, expect him.

And again, I'm not trying to protect Eclipse from hate or justify what he did, because he indeed became a villain. But what about everyone else? How come everyone else's action were forgiven and got a chance to be redeemed but not him? I'm not saying everyone should forgive him, heck Lunar has all right to never forgive him! But this Eclipse didn't do the actions he gets the blame for, and he would deserve to finally have more than just hate poured onto him. They don't have to forgive Eclipse, but if KC got a chance and Sun was WILLINGLY wanting to give a chance to Bloodmoon too, Eclipse has all right to get his redemption, because with Solar, it was prooven all an Eclipse needs is love and understanding.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood

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fandom-imagines-stories · 3 months

Text

Running in the Dark

Matt Murdock x Reader

Words: 4139

Summary: The reader’s work as a decoy for one of Matt’s clients puts her in some hot water with her boyfriend- as well as a jealous ex-husband who has connections more dangerous than anyone could have imagined.

Notes: This one honestly came about when I was walking around my campus at night. I literally pictured Matt watching over me from the top of the Humanities building. Yes, I am doing fine, how are you?

Warnings: Violence, general peril (I just love making the reader get herself into trouble, don’t I?)

More Matt Murdock: HERE

You knew he was there. Your eyes scanned the rooftops of the buildings enclosing you. Even though you couldn’t see him, you could feel him. Standing. Watching. Waiting. You could practically hear his frustrated pacing, his furious objections.

“This is a bad idea. There are other ways. Safer ways. You don’t need to do this.”

All things he had said before tonight.

But this was about more than just playing decoy so a woman could be free of her abusive ex-husband.

This was about what that piece of shit could do for them.

You may not have been able to hear him, but you knew he could hear you. So, as you pulled Nancy Bartman’s door closed and your hood further over your face- careful to let your hair show- you muttered up at the figure hiding in the shadows.

“Back. Off.”

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. You ignored it.

Jogging at night in Hell’s Kitchen alone was a risk all on its own. Every alley you passed seemed to lurk with some unseen threat. Every shifting sound put you on edge.

God, you were turning into Matt.

You turned the corner to the street where Detective Morrow was waiting in a dark Sudan. If this didn’t work, everything could go back to square one. They had to catch this guy. You had to catch this guy. He knew something. Nancy wouldn’t say what, but you could tell she was holding something back. Bartman was the key. You could just feel it.

The Sudan crept forward, keeping far enough away to not look suspicious, but close enough to give you a crumb of comfort.

You could do this.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“Says the one who misses date night to go after crime bosses.”

You couldn’t wait to see the look on Matt’s face when this was over. His mild annoyance of being wrong overshadowed by pride. Proud that his girlfriend had made a difference. That you had not only helped a woman in need but also got them one step closer to catching the bigger villain here. Fisk.

You could do this.

A hand pulled you into the alley.

“Did you think it would be this easy, Nance?” Corey Bartman hissed into your ear, pinning you against the brick. “Did you think you could just leave me like that?”

You lifted your head, letting your hood fall back. “You’re never going to hurt your wife again, Corey,” you spat.

The man’s eyes widened, then filled with rage. “Why you little bitch-”

You heard the flick of a switchblade.

“Corey Bartman, you’re under arrest!” Detective Morrow’s boomed.

Corey flipped you around, arm across your chest, and switchblade at your throat. Morrow raised her gun, as did the other cops.

No no no, you needed him alive.

“Drop the knife, Mr. Bartman,” Morrow ordered. “This is not how you want this to end.”

“Don’t be stupid, Corey,” you muttered, trying to swallow without cutting yourself. You lowered your voice to a whisper, your words meant for a different presence. You could feel him, looming from one of the above rooftops. If Corey went any further, he would reveal himself and that would be a whole other problem. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“What did you say to me?” Corey snapped, tugging you closer. The blade dug just enough into your neck to break skin. You winced.

Matt would smell the blood.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” you said again, hoping he would listen.

“You can come back from this, Mr. Bartman,” Morrow said. She stepped closer, eyes meeting yours. “But not if you hurt her.”

You gave her a small nod, feeling the blood drip down your neck.

Bartman gripped you, his hot breath on your ear. “This isn’t over.”

He let you go.

You couldn’t help the sigh of relief, pushing yourself away from him as Morrow pushed him against the wall and cuffed him.

“You okay, Y/L/N?” She asked. “Theo, call a bus!”

“No, I’m fine,” you said. “Really. It’s just a scratch.”

She handed Morrow off to another officer to put him in the car. “Are you sure? That looks like it hurts.”

“Nothing a little whiskey won’t help,” you smirked.

“Yeah well, go get yourself a drink then.” She gave you a smile and put a hand on your shoulder. “You earned it.” She started to walk away, turning back. “I expect you bright and early at the station to give a statement though.”

You gave her a mock salute. “Yes ma’am.”

Morrow joined the rest of her team. You sagged back against the wall.

“I know you’re there,” you breathed out.

A gloved hand pulled you further into the alley, out of sight from the others. The hand lifted to your neck, just below your new wound.

“He hurt you,” Matt growled. His other hand held onto your arm, holding you to him. “Morrow shouldn’t have let it get that far. He could have…” Matt trailed off. What if Bartman had done worse? What if he didn’t have time to stop him?

“Hey,” you said softly, laying your own hand on his cheek, feeling the fabric of the mask under your fingers. “I’m okay.” You checked to make sure no one was coming, then brought his lips down to yours. When you pulled back again, you were smiling. “We got him.”

Matt couldn’t help but return your grin. “You got him.”

“I told you I would.” You poked his chest teasingly. “It was unwise to doubt me.”

“I never said I doubted you.”

“It was heavily implied,” you laughed, making yourself wince from the sting in your neck.

Matt’s expression softened under his mask. “Come on. We should get that cleaned.”

You didn’t argue this time, letting him lead you back home.

It had been a long night for both of you. By the time you got back to Matt’s apartment, exhaustion sagged in your shoulders and weighed in his steps. You breathed in the familiar air like you were drinking water in the desert. Matt’s hand found the small of your back, guiding you to the couch while he grabbed his first aid kit.

“Really, Matt, it’s just a scratch,” you insisted.

He didn’t listen, finding a cloth to dab at the now-drying blood on your neck. You winced a little, the alcohol stinging the open cut.

Neither of you said anything. The silence hurt more than the cut did.

“I know you’re upset,” you started softly. “But I told Nancy I would help to keep her safe. Now, she is.”

Matt stayed quiet, putting the kit away.

“Matt, please. I knew what I was doing.” You reached for him, fingers grazing his arm. “And I knew you were there, watching over me. I knew that I was safe.”

In one quick motion, Matt pulled you into his arms. It almost felt like he was shaking.

“Don’t scare me like that again,” he whispered into your hair. “Please.”

You sat, shocked for a second. Then, you wrapped your arms around him, running a soothing hand up his back.

“I’ll try my best,” you teased, pulling away to look into those perfect dark, unfocused eyes. “I’m okay, Matty.”

Matt’s hands cupped your face, gently bringing your lips to his as if to remind himself you were here. You weren’t hurt, not too badly anyway. He hadn’t lost you. You were here.

“I’m okay,” you said again against his lips.

Matt pulled you into his lap, your legs on either side of his hips.

“We should get some rest,” he murmured, resting his forehead against yours. “I’ve got a big day tomorrow thanks to you.”

You bit your lip to contain your giggling. “You’re welcome.”

Matt’s hand found the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair.

You leaned into his touch. “You’re right, though.” You pulled away from him, smirking. “We really should get some sleep.”

His head fell back against the couch, a deep chuckle rumbling from his chest. Matt listened as the zipper of your sweatshirt, the fabric brushing over your skin as you took it off, walking toward the bedroom.

“Are you coming or not?” You asked.

In a blink, Matt was on his feet and following.

Tangled limbs, sweat-stained sheets, and the memory of sighs filling the space enveloped you as you fell asleep. Matt kept his arms around you, as if afraid you’d run off and do something stupid. Not that sneaking out was ever an option with him. The problem with dating someone with enhanced senses. An overprotective someone who didn’t like it when you did your job because it occasionally put you in dangerous situations. Dangerous situations that you were perfectly capable of getting yourself out of.

These were the thoughts running through your head as you stared up at the ceiling, Matt’s head against your stomach, his arms draped around your waist.

Then, Bartman crept into your mind. And with him, came Fisk.

Fisk.

Bartman could have papers, maybe even whole files tying him to Fisk’s operation. But they would be at his apartment. The apartment that now lay empty with its inhabitant locked up. But Fisk would send someone… if he hadn’t already.

You sat up slowly, trying to keep from moving Matt’s arm too much.

If you could get to the apartment first, if you could find something, anything that could incriminate Fisk, you could wrap this up tonight. In and out under the cover of dark. Easy.

“Where are you going?”

You flinched. Maybe not so easy.

Matt sat up beside you, kissing your shoulder. “Hmm?”

“My apartment?” God, even if he didn’t hear your heartbeat, that was unconvincing. You started to stand, but Matt gently grabbed your arm.

“You want to go over there,” he said softly.

You sighed. “There’s a lot of information just ripe for the taking.”

“So breaking and entering, theft, and pissing off a guy who beats his tenants into leaving is your plan?”

“Well, I think we’re well past the pissing him off stage,” you said.

Matt frowned.

“All the more reason you need to stay here.” He moved closer to you, but you stood up. If he held you, you would let him. And you needed to work.

“I can’t just let this lie, Matt. He hurt people. Innocent families. And he did it all for Fisk.” You ran a hand through your hair, gathering and putting your clothes back on. “We have a chance to take them both down.”

Matt stood as well, putting his hands on your arms. “You’ve done enough. You helped them catch Bartman. Let the detective do the rest.”

You pushed him away. “You mean let you do the rest.” You crossed your arms, keeping just out of his reach. “You don’t get to lecture me about being safe when you go out there and do the exact same thing.”

“Because I know how to take care of myself, Y/N,” Matt fired back. “You go out there, unarmed and unprepared and you might as well be digging your own-”

“I am not helpless!” You screamed, cutting him off. “I don’t need protection, I don’t need to be coddled, and I don’t need you.”

As soon as you said the words, you felt them sink in, watching Matt’s face fall. He took a breath, squared back his shoulders, and his features hardened again.

“Fine,” he said, concerningly calm.

You were shaking from the raging mix of emotions inside you and it infuriated you to know that he could tell. He knew every tick, every clue to how you worked. And you knew so little about him.

“Fine,” you snapped. You turned, grabbing your keys.

“Y/N, wait-” Matt started, his voice tinged with worry.

But you were already gone.

The sun hadn’t yet risen and the streetlights gave the world a menacing, muted yellow glow. You walked with your arms crossed over your chest, hands tucked under your arms to ward off the cold, and your sweatshirt hood pulled up. You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being followed and it made you shiver more than the early morning air.

“I swear to god, Matt,” you muttered to yourself, but, of course, there was no answer. You kept walking, head down and eyes searching. It wasn’t hard to find Bartman’s apartment again. You’d gone over it so many times with the detective that it felt like you’d been there a million times, even if you had never set foot inside.

You went down the list, pressing each buzzer until someone let you in. It surprised you a little. After everything Bartman had put his tenants through, you expected them to be a little more cautious of who they let in. Maybe they didn’t have the energy to care anymore. After all, if the evil comes from within, what outside could be worse?

Going up the stairs, that creeping sense that made your hair stand on edge never went away. It was like someone was following right behind you, breathing down your neck. This wasn’t Matt. That was for sure. When he followed you, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, you knew it was to keep you safe. It wasn’t overbearing or dark. As annoying as it was sometimes that he didn’t trust you could take care of yourself, you always felt warmth in his presence. Like nothing could happen to you.

This feeling wanted to hurt you. It wanted you scared. It wanted you to run.

You picked the lock to Bartman’s apartment quickly and slipped inside.

Everything was dark and the heater rattled and sputtered, doing little to warm up the frigid room. Many of the light fixtures lacked bulbs, probably to save on electricity. He was cheap with his building, so you weren’t entirely surprised to find he skimped on his own living situation. Besides, Fisk probably promised him a palace compared to this place.

You turned on the flashlight on your phone and swept over the various, disgusting surfaces. You didn’t want to know what most of the stains on the tables and counters and floors were. When Fisk found men to do his dirty work, they certainly were dirty.

Through the mess, you found what looked like it could have been a desk in another, cleaner life, and started going through the drawers. All you needed was something, anything that could connect Fisk’s companies and accounts to Bartman. Even if it was just a simple check, it could be enough for a warrant or at least an investigation into Fisk.

As you rummaged around, the door clicked open and shut behind you.

“I was hoping I’d get to see you again.”

Your shoulders tensed. Your hand slowly reached for the taser in your pocket.

“It was a clever trick, you know.” Bartman stepped toward you, flicking on one of the lamps that retained their bulb. “You look like her.” He took another step. “You’ve got that same bitchiness when you walk. Like you’re better than everyone. Better than me.” He ran a thumb across his bottom lip. “Still… you just happen to be my type, sweetheart.”

“Stay away from me, Mr. Bartman.”

“You pretended to be my wife, you can at least call me by my first name.” He held out his hand with a mocking grin. “Jerry Bartman. I would say it’s a pleasure, but it won’t be for you.”

You backed away, but your back hit the desk behind you.

There was nowhere to run.

Shit.

“Who made your bail, Mr. Bartman?” You asked pointedly.

He just chuckled, looming over you. “I’ve got friends in high places, little girl.” His eyes fell behind you to an envelope sticking out of the bottom drawer.

Bingo.

“Thank you,” you said, regaining a little of your confidence. “For being such an idiot.”

You jammed the taser into his side, listening to it crackle against his flesh. He yelped and stumbled backward, giving you enough time to grab the envelope and dart for the door.

His hand caught your ankle first, yanking you to the hard, uncarpeted floor. You landed on your right arm and felt something crack. Your scream was cut off by a kick to your stomach.

“You…. little… bitch…” Bartman gasped out, holding his side with one hand and pulling back for another hit with the other.

The door opened.

Bartman looked up.

The shot.

The blood.

The body landed on top of you with crushing force, knocking the scream out of your lungs.

As the tears cleared from your vision, you saw the man standing over you, dressed in black, with an indifferent expression painting his features. You scrambled to push Bartman’s lifeless form off of you.

“Shame,” he said. He sounded bored. Like your life was little more than a nuisance he had to deal with. “And you’ve been so helpful getting him out of our way.”

He raised his gun.

Not knowing what else to do, you ran towards him, ramming into his ribs with your shoulder and making your arm scream from the secondary impact. He grunted and the second gunshot echoed through the apartment, finding its mark in the lamp bulb, shattering the only light in the apartment.

You were plunged back into darkness, but so was your attacker.

Remember what Matt taught you. Feel the air move. Listen to the smallest sounds. And never, ever let your guard down.

A stumbling step signaled you to the man’s swing, allowing you to dive out of the way before his fist could collide with your already sore ribs.

“What the hell?” He hissed. He reloaded his gun.

You kept low and moved quickly, holding your throbbing arm against your torso. Judging by the thundering steps and the sound of him stumbling into things, Bartman’s killer was completely blinded by the dark.

You ducked into the hallway and found it almost as dark as the room before. Someone had shut off the lights to the whole building. The only light was the EXIT sign at the end of the hall, tinting everything in a deep, menacing red. You could hear Mr. Trigger Happy still coming after you, and debated between your two escapes; down the stairs to hide on one of the lower floors, or out onto the faster fire escape, but left you exposed.

You ran to the red sign.

A quiet scream escaped your throat, a hand grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the exit. Your mouth was covered by a hand before you could scream again. Your back hit something firm behind you and an arm locked across your chest, holding you tightly.

“It’s okay, it’s okay it’s me,” Matt whispered, his breath hot against the back of your neck, breathing heavily like he’d run here. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

You whipped around, his arms wrapping around you, caging you safely in his embrace.

“Matt,” you gasped, voice low so only he would hear. “They killed him. Fisk. He sent someone. He killed Bartman.” You shook in his hold, turning your head to try and look down the dark hallway. “There has to be more of them. We need to get out of here before they come.”

Matt gently pushed you back, one hand firmly on your shoulder, the other gentle, softly tracing down your cheek. He could feel your heart racing, your broken bone scraping against itself, your cracked ribs creaking with every scared breath. Every sound only amplified in his chest.

“Where is he?” He growled, feeling his anger bubbling over.

“He isn’t important,” you said, a small smile breaking through your panic. You held up the envelope. “I think I found something. Bartman didn’t want me to find this and, clearly, this creep didn’t either.”

Matt shook his head, the black fabric of his mask molding to his hard expression.

“Did Fisk’s man see you?”

You swallowed.

Your silence was enough.

Matt moved you behind the wall, concealing you in a dark corner, and started back toward Bartman’s apartment.

“Stay here,” he said.

“Like hell,” you snapped. Tucking the envelope into your back waistband, you hurried after him.

Matt turned, jaw tensed and tone dangerous. “Get out of here, Y/N. Go home.”

“What, so you can beat the shit out of some guy who shot at me?” You put your good hand on your hip. “I’m not going to hide. I want to finish this. Nancy Bartman deserves to stop being afraid. We all do.”

Matt pushed you behind him.

You grimaced, the spreading pain in your arm worsened by the sudden movement.

“Really?” The hitman scoffed. “If I had known you’d be joining the party, I would have been quicker with the lady.” He smirked at you. “Friends in low places, huh?”

“Fisk has you,” you glowered, stepping out from behind Matt, “I have him.”

“Two birds-” He aimed at Matt’s head. “One stone.”

Matt moved like a bullet, knocking the man back, twisting his arm to an unnatural angle, and kicking the gun across the floor all in one fluid series of actions.

You didn’t waste time, picking up the gun and turning it on its former owner. Matt kept him on the ground, knee between his shoulder blades. You pressed the barrel against his temple.

“Why did you kill Bartman?” You asked.

“You know, if you wanted to get me going, you didn’t have to bring your friend.”

Matt dug his knee down.

The man cried out.

“Why did you kill Bartman?” You asked again, already knowing the answer.

The assassin glared up at you, his eyes glowing in the red light. “Loose end. Just like you.”

“Why does Fisk want this building?”

“He made a deal.”

“So you do work for Fisk?” You pressed the metal harder against his skin, a small victorious rush coursing through you enough to ignore the screaming in your arm.

He jerked suddenly, lunging for you.

Matt slammed the man’s head against the carpet once… twice… The man stopped moving, though you could see his chest rise and fall faintly.

“Did you hear that?” You exclaimed. “Of course, you heard it.”

Matt didn’t say anything. He just grunted as he got the man up, pulling him back to the apartment and laying him beside Bartman’s dead body.

“Call the police. I’ll make sure they find him here.”

You did as he asked, saying that you were a neighbor and heard all the noise. He called Claire so she could be at the apartment to treat your arm. Then, you followed Matt up the roof where he could listen for the police to come. He didn’t say a word to you the entire time.

You could feel the anger tensed up in his shoulders and it wasn’t from the fight. This was a different anger, one that wasn’t violent or loud or could be worked out by hitting something. This was anger that came from one thing: fear.

“I didn’t think they would come after him tonight,” you said softly, “let alone pay his bail and send him home.”

Matt’s covered face stayed turned away from you.

You took off the mask. “Matt, please.” With a hand on his cheek, you made him face you, staring into his beautiful, unstarring eyes. There were tears in them.

“When I heard the second gunshot…” He whispered, voice cracking.

A shot of guilt splintered through your chest.

But you weren’t going to back down.

“I know you think you are the only one who can face all of this, but you aren’t,” you said gently, but firmly. “You aren’t alone, Matt. We have to be partners if this is ever going to work.”

Matt sighed. He listened to your heartbeat, reminding himself that it was still beating. You had made it through, even if he thought he’d been too late. You did that. He slowly brought your lips up to his, careful not to move your arm too much.

When you both eventually pulled back, a small smirk spread across his face.

“You know, when you were standing there, gun against that guy's head, even I was a little intimidated,” he chuckled.

“Right? I can be a badass when I want to be,” you snickered, laying your head on his shoulder. You turned so you could see his face, lightly kissing his jaw. “We make a pretty good team. Maybe you should let me go out with you…”

Matt laughed, the sound turning less amused. “Don’t push it.”

He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you held your injured arm in your lap as he held you. The two of you sat and waited for the sirens and lights to break through the dark of the night.

Hey look, I remembered the tag list this time!

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascall; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216; @yellowbubblewrap

#matt murdock #charlie cox #matt murdock x reader #daredevil imagines #daredevil #marvel #daredevil born again #daredevil netflix

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kinardscoffee · 21 days

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Do you think Tommy is here to stay for a while? How do you think is going to evolve his relationship with Buck? Will we get another kiss next episode?

I would love for him to stay forever!! Love him!!

Hey, Anon! Thanks for stopping by! I love talking about anything related to bucktommy, so you've basically made my day with your ask!

This turned into a long ass post, so I'm putting the rest under the cut.

Yes, I really do think Tommy is here to stay for a while because, honestly, he's the perfect LI to become Buck's endgame.

And I know that that thought is the biggest issue with certain stans right now, but like, he can easily have little storylines weaved throughout the series with the main and guest stars. And, if you actually read the interviews that the actors and Tim are doing, it's clear that's the goal. In fact, I was actually going to make a post for that idea, but I'll just add it here:

Hen, Chim, Bobby

Tommy clearly has a connection to Hen, Chim, and Bobby from his days at the 118. We've seen it in S2, so it's a canon fact. Chim saved his life, so that's a strong fucking bond right there. Not to mention they clearly enjoy quoting movies and probably discussing the plot of movies together. (Thank you, Bobby begins for the bar scene) Tommy was there when Kevin died, too, so he understands the loss that Chim has experienced through the job. And let's not forget that he had the opportunity to watch Chim become an amazing paramedic.

When it comes to Hen, he helped get rid of Captian Gerrard when Hen was being put through hell. (And yes, I do believe he said something to the higher ups. He is a military guy, and following the chain of command is very important to them, so I'm not surprised he never voiced his opinions outloud. Add that with the idea that he was very deep in the closet, he was probably terrified of that man.) And he knows that when it comes to Hen, she will never give up to do what's right and I like to think Tommy took a page from her book and applied that to his life on his journey to accept himself.

Then Bobby. Probably the first man in a leadership position that treated him with kindness and respect. When Bobby comes to the 118, there's some resistance, mostly from Sal, but even through all that, Tommy sees that Bobby is fair (transferring Sal to another station instead of fully firing him) and welcoming (by incorporating family dinners).

Athena

I was struggling with how he'd be connected to Athena, but then I remembered: trivia night!

Athena and Bobby used to have game night with Michael and David. Can you IMAGINE Bobby and Athena inviting Buck and Tommy over for dinner and game night??? I can. And I am so here for it!

Teams would absolutely be: Bobby and Buck. Athena and Tommy.

And let's face it. Athena sees Buck as Bobby's un-adopted son, so if Tommy makes Buck happy, Athena is good.

Karen

This one is interesting and maybe a tiny bit of a stretch, but I really believe that Tommy and Karen could connect through their interest for aviation/aerospace. She's a rocket scientist for crying out loud. He'd be like a little kid at the place where she works.

I also like to think that maybe, due to his childhood and being constantly between homes, he can help discuss the trauma that Mara might feel.

Maddie

I mean, the most important thing to her is that Tommy obviously makes her little brother happy and giddy. She wants to meet him, which is something I can't recall Buck or Maddie ever saying before about one of Buck's LI. Maybe Abby, but Buck was living in her apartment soooo... yeah.

I know Lou has revealed the backstory he has set up in his mind for Tommy and after saying his father was an alcoholic, I can't stop thinking that maybe little Tommy unfortunately experienced abuse from his father or witnessed it happening to his mom. Tommy, having a childhood connected to domestic violence, while not in the exact same way that Maddie experienced it, gives them something in common on a deeper level. An understanding of how important it is to accept love and open yourself up to the possibility.

Eddie

Eddie's friendship with Tommy is actually so interesting to me too because I have this crazy "invisible string" theory that includes him.(Platonically) But, moving on...

Clearly, they share a love of the same things. Muay Thai, watching fights, cars, Buck, basketball, the military.

For me, the military is their real connection because of Eddie's breakdown. No one else in Eddie's life can really understand what he's gone through and how it feels to maybe be the only one of your unit to survive. I'm pretty sure Tommy has already gone through therapy, and since Eddie had no one to reach out to with shared trauma like Frank suggested, he found that second chance in Tommy.

Buck

I mean... they connected lips and soon hearts. 🥺 Sooo....

Next question...

I really hope their relationship evolves in the cutest, sweetest, sometimes naughty, way!

I want to see nervousness. I want to see them learning things about each other. I want them to cuddle and laugh and go on double dates.

I want them to worry about the other one during a dangerous call or rush to each other at a moments notice.

I want to see them fall so in love with each other that I can sue ABC for giving me cavities from all the sweetness.

Having said that... I also want to see disagreements. Arguments and vulnerability and then the process of apologizing and making up.

So, basically, I want them to evolve into a healthy, stable, loving relationship.

And hell yeah! There will be a kiss on Thursday. I'd like to believe we'll see more than one just because of Oliver's interview, but for sure, we're getting one initiated by Buck and honestly I cannot fucking wait!!!!

I want him to stay forever, too. You're not alone 🩵

#911 spoilers #911 abc #911 fandom #evan buckley #bucktommy #tommy kinard #911 speculation #tevan #kinley #buck x tommy #tommy x buck #anon 🩵

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ramblingguy54 · 10 months

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Nine’s Betrayal: A Predictable Route, But Important Execution.

To no surprise, the idea of Nine becoming more antagonistic in Prime came to pass, but I’d like to breakdown why it just works so well in execution. Prime from the get go had set up Nine was a super vulnerable kid. Obviously, a kid with a high IQ in having great mechanical talent, although still a hurt and highly jaded child, nonetheless. Nine has easily been one of my favorite parts of Sonic Prime. Taking such a simple concept of reverse good guy doing something more interesting with it. He isn’t just a run of the mill polar opposite, rather one whom has been dealt a bad hand in turn lashing out at everyone and everything. Nine hasn’t ever taken chances in opening himself up after countless times being abused for his two tails. It wasn’t until Sonic arrived in his dimension, Nine began slightly letting his guard down.

This moment between them in Prime’s very first episode is extremely crucial because it sets up the real solitude of Nine’s characterization. Immediately I felt sympathy for Tails’ polar opposite, given his unfortunate circumstances. Nine had to fend for himself with no real mentor figure to guide him, other than his own experiences. Nine buried away any sense of identity, or happiness, in favor of going full on coldly detached. Hiding those two tails in shame because it made Nine feel like a freak of nature. Suddenly, a happy go lucky guy, like Sonic, comes crashing into his reality. Boldly stating they’re close companions praising his natural gifts and calling those other mechanical tails seriously amazing.

Nine has become desensitized to being seen as some disfigured individual, yet here someone is not mocking or assaulting him just because of his appearance. He didn’t know what to do in emotionally processing the fact someone is saying, “Embrace who you are! It doesn’t matter anyone else thinks!”, in a world where fears rules with an iron fist as their status quo. Perhaps, Nine reluctantly saw someone he could call a friend at long last, even if the kid didn’t want to fully admit to himself. As I had hoped, Sonic & Nine’s dynamic in Prime is a big aspect of the story getting explored. Honestly, with the way things have been handled thus far, I’d arguably say Sonic & Nine’s dysfunctional bond may pan out to be my favorite iterations Sonic & Tails iconic brotherly concept. There’s more going on underneath in their friendship.

Shadow had warned Sonic from the start about being weary of Nine, to which he severely opposes him on said notion. Sonic’s optimism of seeing the best in others completely 180′d on him in the worst fashion. Nine’s highly self-conscious, jaded nature, and intelligence brought him to the same conclusion Shadow previously reached. If he returns all the Shatter pieces to normal, then there’s a likely chance he’ll disappear in exchange for restoring Sonic’s home world. He realized this after seeing the other Tails’ counterparts. Especially looking directly at the original Tails whom started it all scoffing at him. Any affection, or respect for that matter, Nine had toward Sonic began to fade away.

“You just assumed I’d go along with you, no matter what! Did you ever consider what I wanted!?”

Nine was putting the pieces together in his mind realizing, “Sonic only likes me because he believes I’m just like his Tails. That I’ll agree to what he says and thinks.”, feeling very hurt by this revelation. He always had different intentions of what his “happy ending” was going to be. Seeing someone disregard his beliefs in favor of comparison to what is supposed to be an original counterpart did more to Nine than just sting. It felt like he been stabbed in the back after opening up his heart to someone. Something this poor kid hasn’t done in a very long time. Who’s to say Nine wasn’t questioning his place in all of this, as well?

Throughout these new batch of episodes, Nine has been trying his best to give Sonic a helping hand. Putting his life on the line, so he can get a chance to return the favor of helping Sonic. Sonic had made Nine reconsider maybe there’s more to a life than simply a preference of being just another loner in a world where everyone fends for themselves. Only to have it thrown to the way side because Nine came to that same conclusion as Shadow did before. If Green Hill is to be restored, then himself, the Shatter-verse, and all other realities must apparently cease to exist. It not only terrifies him, but also makes Nine view himself as just another small cog in the system. A means to an end.

“Look’s like I can’t ever be happy.”

“Sonic doesn’t see me for who I truly am.”

“My very existence is irrelevant.”

“I don’t matter.”

Wouldn’t surprise me if these thoughts were bubbling around in his mind before this heated confrontation happened. Nine doubles back down on his loner attitude because ultimately it has been what kept him getting hurt for so long. Getting dealt yet another hard dose of truth that Sonic stuck to his guns on Nine because he thought they would see eye to eye, like his own Tails. However, Shadow was completely right about Nine being different from who they know. Nine has been through a ton of emotional torment, even though there is still good in him. Any kindness is buried underneath a mountain of insecurities. Hence, the whole outcry of, “I AM REAL! Just not your real friend...”, is Nine hardly reaffirming his value as a person. That he isn’t defined by anything.

It’s what makes their dynamic so refreshing to watch between Sonic & Nine because he can’t just simply give an uplifting speech to make Tails feel better about himself. He’s gonna have to show some strong actions to Nine about his existence having significance. Breaking through those mental barriers of his isn’t gonna be easy after this falling out they’ve had. Nine has assumed Sonic didn’t genuinely ever care about him, despite standing up for him against Shadow earlier. To say I’m excited for Prime’s third season would be an understatement.

Prime’s central conflict being centered around Sonic & Nine’s dynamic was a terrific idea, instead of simply going against different incarnations of Eggman. This makes matters a lot more dramatically complex. It isn’t simply about Sonic fixing his serious mistakes, but having to battle someone he never wanted to hurt. Sonic is gonna have to acknowledge his major oversight in not treating Nine for who he actually is. Nine isn’t Tails. He’ll never be Miles Tails Prower. Nine is a child molded by a world that was cruelly unfair to him and told he could never been proclaimed as an equal, ever. He had to do growing up on his own.

This shot hurts to look at because you can see every ounce Nine’s remorse written all over his face thinking, “I should’ve known better than to ever put faith in someone other than myself. Why did I get my hopes up for thinking anything good would come of it?”. All the aspirations of wanting a clean slate with someone he deeply valued only to find out it was based on an empty comparison shattered Nine’s own hopes and dreams in the process.

“The only person I can ever trust is myself...”

Sonic Prime Season 2 ends with our iconic protagonist hurting someone he never intended to, turning him into the next bigger hurdle to overcome. The writers took such a basic straight forward idea on paper making into an emotionally charged story testing Sonic’s resolve in facing down a friend.

Taking well known tropes in stories should never be viewed as a bad thing. It’s what you go about doing with these ideas that truly matters. Sonic Prime is simply another reminder of that with Sonic & Nine’s contrasting personalities.

#sonic prime spoilers #hello nine is my favorite character from this show #can't ya tell by my lengthy analysis?#nine needs more than just a hug #get this fucking poor fox kid therapy #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic prime season 2 #sonic prime nine #sonic prime #sonic

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btsficsandsuch · 8 months

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Hi, I wanted to request a BTS × 8th member reader where they are not welcoming of her at the start and are hostile towards her but she is not treated by the management properly too . With a happy ending

I hope this is okay!

Warning: Swearing, Mentions of extreme dieting, Hints to physical abuse

Going To Be Better

“This is so stupid. We don’t need an 8th member.”, Yoongi spat. “I agree. Things are great the way they are.”, Taehyung added. Bang PD nodded in agreement but his words spoke differently, “I understand. It’s a big change but I think it’s going to be a good change. Bringing on this new member will surely bring in new fans. Just give Y/N a chance. She’s really talented. Have I ever done anything to try and jeopardize your careers?” The boys all nodded in understanding but the mood in the room was still tense.

To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were currently standing outside one of the recording studios trying to work up the courage to knock. When you finally were able to give three soft knocks you waited in silence. After a couple more knocks you were still met with more silence. Thinking maybe you didn’t hear them say to come in you gently pushed open the door and were met with three pairs of eyes staring at you.

“What the fuck? Don’t you know how to knock?”, Yoongi spoke. “Alright that’s enough hyung.”, Namjoon replied. Hoseok just sat there staring at you. Before anyone else could speak Bang PD walked in with a smile, “Oh I see you’ve met already. Everyone this is Y/N. I asked her to meet here to work on some new songs with you guys. I know I can count on you guys to treat her well.” Just as quickly as he appeared you watched him walk off typing away on his cell phone while you desperately wished he would stay. “Great, so they really weren’t kidding about this new eighth member?”, you heard someone speak and that’s when you noticed Jungkook, Taehyung, Jin, and Jimin sat in a corner of the room.

Trying to be kind you put on a smile and tried to introduce yourself, “Hello, like he said my name is Y/N. I was a trainee wit-“ but you were cutoff. “We don’t really want to hear your life story right now. Let’s see if you’re actually as talented as they say you are.”, Namjoon spoke. Shyly you made your way into the recording booth taking the lyric sheet from Jimin. A few moments later the melody began and you sang your heart out wanting to impress them. You honestly impressed yourself with how good you sounded.

Hearing a beep you looked over and saw that Yoongi was about to speak. Your heart sank a little when instead of praise you received nothing but criticism. Trying to hold back the tears you sang through the verse six more times before they were happy with it. Thankful when they finally told you to go home you couldn’t wait to get out of there. This definitely wasn’t going as you had hoped.

Over the next few weeks you practiced and practiced not wanting to disappoint. Big Hit officially announced you as the new 8th member of BTS and you were very well received by the fans and media. They said it was refreshing and they were excited to see how this progressed. Unfortunately the rest of the group still hadn’t come around to the idea. They weren’t as harsh with their words as they were at the start but they still kept their distance. Jungkook was the only one who was somewhat opening up to you. It probably had something to do with being closer in age to each other.

Today you were getting a crash course on the choreography. Hoseok felt that you weren’t quite getting it so he wanted you to get extra practice. “Y/N, I know it’s difficult but you should be going a little quicker. Is there something I can do to help you?”, he asked. You couldn’t discern if he was actually trying to be helpful or if he just wanted to rub it in. At this point you didn’t really care. The two of you had been at it for several hours now and you were exhausted. It didn’t help that it was already 9:00pm and you were currently functioning on a cup of black coffee and half a banana that you had for breakfast. One of the mangers had told you that you looked pretty chubby in your stage outfits and suggested you loose some weight. Even though you felt like passing out you smiled at Hoseok, “I’m sorry Hobi. I’ll try harder.” He nodded and you two ran through the choreography again.

Two weeks later you guys had your first official performance as a group of eight. Everyone was sitting backstage relaxing when one of the managers came walking through the door doing an inspection of outfits. When he got to you he looked you up and down and you knew it wasn’t going to be positive.

The closer he got the more you flinched trying to turn away. Jimin definitely noticed your behavior and knew something was going on. “Y/N, I thought we told you to loose weight. It doesn’t look like you’ve lost a single pound.”, he asked. You could feel your throat drying up. “I’ve been dieting and I’m constantly working on choreography and I go to the gym in what little spare time I have. If I eat any less I won’t be eating at all.”, you whispered. The manager scoffed, “Well then I suggest you stop eating in general. You might be talented but your visuals will bring the group down.” As you watched him turn and walk away you could feel seven pairs of eyes on you. The last couple months finally caught up to you and you couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. “Well you guys get what you’ve wanted this whole time. You can remain a group of seven. I quit.”, you said before walking out the door letting it slam behind you.

Thankfully you were able to find an empty room down the hall that you walked into so you could have some privacy. Sitting on the floor you released all the pent-up frustration and hurt that you had been feeling over the last couple months. You were so enthralled in your sorrows that you didn’t hear the door open causing you to jump when you felt someone grab your hand. You weren’t expecting Jimin to be standing there with a sad look in his eyes.

Before either of you could speak the door opened up and the other six members came following in. They all sat in a circle in front of you not speaking. Part of you wanted to tell them off and let them know how much they hurt you, part of you wanted to hear them out and maybe get an apology, and another part of you wanted to get up and walk out not giving them another minute of your time. Before you could decide Namjoon spoke, “Y/N we owe you a major apology. I know simply saying sorry isn’t enough but we’ve been really hard on you and not welcoming.” Yoongi added, “Yeah I’ve been particularly rough on you. It’s just been a big change that they threw at us and we weren’t expecting it. We handled it like spoiled children instead of responsible adults.” “Please don’t quit Y/N. You’re so talented and you do add something special to the group. We know it’s going to take time but we do want to make things right with you.”, Jin said with smile. Drying off what was left of the tears on your cheeks you smiled, “I would like to try and work on our relationship but unfortunately I don’t think I can continue. I’m not going to starve myself and diet like this. I’m not going to be treated like dirt by management. That’s not healthy. I’ve realized I’m better than that.” Namjoon nodded, “Let us take care of that Y/N. We’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you any more.” The guys helped you get up off the ground and each gave you a hug before walking out the door. Jimin stayed behind a little longer. Taking your hand in his he spoke, “Y/N I just wanted you to know that you’re beautiful the way that you are and you don’t have to change. That’s something that took me a long time to learn in this industry. I’m genuinely sorry for how we treated you and I’m sorry that we let management treat you like that too. We swore we would protect any new idols but we failed you. We’ll make sure you’re taken care of from now on.” “Thank you Jimin. I do appreciate that.”, you smiled and led him out into the hallway.

Thankfully the concert went off without a hitch. You hit all of your notes and we’re on point with the choreography. The fans also seemed to really love you. After the show Taehyung invited you back to the dorm for their post concert routine of ordering a ton of takeout and then crashing on the couch watching a movie. Things still felt a little awkward but you appreciated that they were trying to make things right and everyone knew it would take time.

The following day you made your way to the recording studio when you heard someone call your name. Turning around you saw Bang PD smiling at you as he invited you into his office. “Y/N, I had a long meeting with the boys this morning. They told me what happened yesterday with the manager and how he treated you. You should’ve come to me a while ago and let me know that this was going on. I just wanted to let you know that the manager in question has been dealt with and is no longer an employee of this company. Should this happen again please bring it to my attention immediately.”, he advised. “Thank you.”, was all you could say feeling a wash of relief that you don’t have to deal with this any more. After giving a quick goodbye you walked out of his office and went back over to the studio knocking on the door and waiting to be let in. A few moments later Yoongi greeted you with a smile, “Y/N come in! I’ve got a bunch of new songs we need to work on. I think your voice is going to add something great.” Happily you walked in a greeting Namjoon who was sat at the control table before taking a seat next to Jimin who reached over and gently gave your knee a squeeze reminding you that things were going to be better.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts angst #Jin #Yoongi #Namjoon #hoseok #Jimin #taehyung #jungkook #jhope #suga #rm #v #bts x 8th member #8th member of bts

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raymusterio · 1 month

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Just a little rant.. no spoilers

I always think it's really irritating when people try and say Bakugou is irrelevant to the story, like what? Did we read the same thing? Cause Izuku would not have received ofa if it wasn't for Katsuki being the person attacked by slime. Izuku was literally like "oh gee poor guy, I hope a hero with the right quirk shows up, cause All Mights out thanks to me" until he actually looked up and saw that it was his Kacchan being suffocated and it was *no thoughts. head empty.* he fucking sprinted. That wouldn't have happened the way it did if it had been anybody else. It had to be Katsuki or the story would have been completely different because All Might wouldn't have seen Izuku's (seemingly random) act of heroism despite being quirkless and thus never choosing him to be ninth. Katsuki plays such a huge role in the plot of the story and has since the very first page.

It also boggles my mind how quick people are to label Katsuki an irredeemable abuser, and honestly, people who demonize he like that give me the ick. Like, he's just a kid who's so scared of his own emotions and how his friend makes him feel, that he lashes out in the only response he knows how. He's a kid with anger issues, who makes mistakes just like the rest of us. I'm not excusing what he said, cause it was fucked up, but he recognized that it was fucked up and worked hard to apologize to Izuku and make it up to him. Even if Izuku had already forgiven him.

And I really do think Izuku had already forgiven him, because that's who Izuku is. Izuku never victimized himself. He couldn't. Because he wanted to be a hero, just like All Might. And he can't be a hero if he's a victim. That's a double edged mentality to have and it definitely came into play during the vigilante arc. Izuku is the kind of person who breaks himself to help others, he has little to zero self preservation skills mixed with overwhelming kindness and compassion. When Katsuki told him to take a swan dive, his response was essentially "You're an idiot Kacchan, what would you have done if I was the kind of person to take you seriously? Can't be a hero like that, nope!" He really didn't entertain the idea of himself jumping, and instead focused on berating Katsuki's rude and insulting behavior. He didn't like it and doesn't approve of a future pro acting like that, because he still holds no doubt that Katsuki will become a pro hero. Because "Kacchan's amazing".

Izuku and Katsuki's character arcs are so heavily intertwined that you really can't talk about one without mentioning the other. They know each other's habits, behavior, and mannerisms better than anyone else, yet misunderstanding is such a present theme in their relationship. It's so complex that I don't see it as a stereotypical victim×bully ship, it goes so much deeper than that.

In a story about hope, change, and redemption it's disheartening seeing parts of the fandom completely miss the point.

#i have more to say but im tired #bakudeku #bkdk #izuku midoriya #bakugou katsuki #kacchan #deku #katsudeku #greenade #bnha bakudeku

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inbarfink · 9 months

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Among the various readings and interpretations of What the Hell is Up With the Ending to the DHMIS Web Show - one of the more interesting ones (from my perspective, at leas) has always been that it’s all a metaphor for repeating patterns of trauma and/or abuse.

As in, most of the narrative of the DHMIS Webshow has been some sort of surrealist metaphor for Roy being an overcontrolling and manipulative parental figure for his son and his friends

And then the ending shows them finally escaping his influence -

Only that without a frame of reference for just how screwed-up their upbringing really was and without any healthy way to process their various traumas, they end up being in danger of just replicating his abuse on their own. Either on each other or maybe on the color-swapped characters who can, like, represent their own children or something.

And so the vague ending of the Webshow is an open question, yes, the trio might’ve gotten physically away from Roy’s influence - but are they free from it mentally?

Or are they doomed to snap back into their old familiar world?

And the interesting thing about this is that like… that could be what the Web Show is about on a metaphorical level. But in the TV Show, with its greater emphasis on interpersonal conflicts and the characters - the idea of our main trio unknowingly replicating the abuse they live under is not just something we can hypothetically ruminate on. It’s something we can actually see, something we can actually feel.

Like, the first thing that made me think of Yellow and Red’s interactions with Stain Edwards.

This is basically the closest the Three of Them can get to being parental figures within the confines of the Format. He starts out as such a sweet and curious child-like being, his title for himself is literally ‘the Forever Boy’. And, well…

Red and Yellow are just so uncomfortable with his curiosity and thirst for adventure that they basically immediately try and stomp it right out. And that’s like a whole big thing about DHMIS, isn’t it? The way that children’s edutainment and the education system actually curbs children's curiosity and desire for learning so they can better memorize easily-digestible simplified concepts and Respect Their Authority Figures.

You know, it’s the whole thing with…

And that’s kinda how Red acts with Stain? He’s a lot less violent and more subdued about it - but he also discourages the little guy from asking questions and wanting to explore the world.

And he is trying to push him into fitting more into the Format. And, like, managing his life like the Trio’s own life is managed by the Format. First more generally into what being part of the DHMIS main trio is supposed to mean (‘just sit here and something will happen’) and then eventually literally turning him into something he didn’t want to be.

And from our more familiar perspective, it’s clear that Red Guy really just genuinely thinks at this point that sitting passively and Waiting to Be Taught At is how things are Supposed to Be and can’t really imagine things going any other way. He is honestly just trying to get Stain to understand how their life is supposed to work. (Well until it starts becoming about making a new Duck)

And it’s also clear to us how much Red Guy is motivated by just unaddressed grief about Duck and wanting to avoid conflict with Yellow Guy, who's a lot more explictly lashing out at Stain in his grief

"What's the matter with him?" "Nothing. Just don't look at him." "What? Where can I look? I can't look at him, can't look over there..." "No, if, if you want to look at stuff, just tell me and I-I'll make a list. Of where you should or should not look..." "Seems like a weird system..." "Yeah, well, you seem like a weird little...thing with...and you don't even... the other guy at least had his own clothes"

But looking at it from Stain’s perspective, taking aside our understanding of Red’s character and motivation. This is just an authority figure giving him a nonsense set of rules and then lashing out at him when he questions it. Never giving a deeper explanation than ‘this is how it’s supposed to be’ and basically punishing his curiosity.

Kinda like, well, how the Teachers tend to interact with the trio.

And then there’s Yellow Guy who’s just totally lashing out at Stain through the whole thing, because, again, he can’t process the grief of losing Duck. Because his environment did not give him the tools to properly process that trauma and he has no healthy frame of reference to grief and that’s kinda...

Yeah, that’s just what I was talking about. Stain’s subplot in ‘Death’ is just Yellow and Red having not interrogated their abusive environment and not really dealing with their trauma and thus repeating the patterns of the Teachers on their new child-like figure.

Which then culminates with either Duck killing Stain in the name of preserving the status-quo of the format (“there’s only supposed to be three of us”) or with Stain having internalized so much of what Yellow and Red (but mainly Red) taught him about what he’s supposed to be that he was willing to kill in the name of the Format - and then slotted in perfectly in the unadventurous, unquestioning role of Duck.

And this lil narrative is especially interesting if you believe any variance of the David Theory. Because Yellow and Red were mainly motivated in their mistreatment of Stain by their Grief about a ‘dead’ family member. Which could mirror Lesley's trapping and mistreatment of the trio and her own motivations.

But I think this idea of mirroring and repeating patterns of abuse are reflected in more than just this one episode. It’s also reflected in the way Red and Duck tend to mistreat Yellow.

Because while Yellow doesn’t slot as neatly into the Child position like Stain did- his simplistic naïveté does mean he often plays a Child-like role in our favorite Forced Family dynamic. And the way that Duck and Red can often condescend to him can… very well mirror the condescending way the teachers address all three of them.

Especially when you also consider the similar manner both the Teachers and Red + Duck react to Yellow being fully charged in ‘Electricity’. They are all so nervous about Yellow breaking away from his supposed ‘role’ as the Stupid One.

And they especially all seem so very insecure about the idea that Yellow might be smarter than they are.

And that’s, you know, also an aspect of children’s education that tends to actually harm children and their curiosity. This desire for ‘respect’ towards authority figures and this egotistical need for teachers and parents to always be smarter than their kids - causing them to subtly or bluntly punish children for just being clever or inquisitive.

It’s, you know “I’m the adult, you are the child. I am supposed to be the Smart and Knowledgeable one and you are the one who must be taught. And you need to play your role!”

Again, that seems to be the whole thing in ‘Time’.

Here it’s a lot more subtle and less openly hostile, but Yellow can tell that just like that Insurance Teacher, Red and Duck’s egos have also been hurt by the fact that they might not be smarter than Yellow Guy anymore. And he considers going back to the role he’s ‘supposed to be’, even though being fully-charged seems to feel better for him (‘this doesn’t feel wrong’), just for them.

That’s almost literally a child giving up on a pursuit of knowledge just to placate his parental figures.

And then, you know, his refusal to do so and his assertion of his own ability to make decisions for himself (his own maturity, "they're not in charge of us anymore" "Maybe they never were") is directly what leads to him ascending and disassembling not just the trio’s dynamic but the very structure of the Format.

And I think, it’s not just that Red and Duck’s treatment of Yellow mirrors the way the teachers treat the Three of Them - it might be a result of it as well. With how condescending the teachers are towards them in general, bullying Yellow is their way to assert some sort of maturity and intelligence for themselves. It's super-fucked up, but this is how they internalized expressing what ‘intelligence’ is supposed to look like. And they have no frame of reference for a way of feeling smart or in control that doesn’t involve shutting someone else down. Because that's what literally every authority figure does for them all the time.

Now, do I think that means that our trio is doomed to mirror those patterns? That they will always inevitability repeat the horrors they go through on each other and others? Well, just like with every ‘cycle of abuse’, it can always be broken. But it will take some actual understanding and self-awareness and personal healing from the trio.

And without this, they’re not just trapped within the Horrors physically, but also spiritually as well. Without it, no matter if they do manage to run away, on some level, their journey will always end up back at home....

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beauleifu · 1 year

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Hello! Can you write a oneshot or a headcanon (platonic, ofc) about Macaque with a reserved but also very outgoing child? (like those kids that are calm and reserved but if you mention something they really like they just go off and start rambling all happy and excited)

I had this idea in my head for a little while, I think it'd be really funny and wholesome if he just appeared at Pigsy's Noodles w/ his child and everyone's like "wh- YOU'RE A DAD??? WHEN??? HOW????" and he just watches with that Tired Parent Look™ as his kid stares directly at MK and goes "YOU'RE THAT MONKIE GUY ON THE TV!!!"

Sorry for any errors! English is not my first language, I apologize for the long text aswell, I'm just an absolute sap for the "tired but loving dad" trope also you can totally delete my ask or skip it if you don't want to write it!! Thank you either way, your writing is wonderful :) !

All right! *cracks fingers, snaps neck- whoops-*

You got it anon! Sorry for not answering this ask sooner, I realized headcanons are easier to write than an actual oneshot considering the limited time I have to write nowadays. But I hope you enjoy, and thanks for the ask! <333

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MACAQUE X CHILD!READER

Lego Monkie Kid

Context: Long ago, a wise old monkey had taken you under his wing, to train you and teach you the ways- okay, let's save the theatrics for later, that's Macaque's thing. Your father figure. Honestly, he's growing on you, and it's starting to show now that people are pointing it out.

TW: None!

HEADCANNONS

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Macaque doesn't normally take you somewhere where conflict is bound to arise. He'd prefer someplace more peaceful, like a park/museum/theater. Unless, of course, he's in the mood for adventure and will literally take you skydiving without a permit.

Totally the irresponsible dad. He's protective as FUCK, let's make that clear, but in the end he trusts you to take care of yourself

perhaps a bit too much, and even you think that

He'll encourage you to pet that snake

He'll give you the thumbs up if you wanted to climb to the top of the weather tower during a thunderstorm

Like "Go get 'em, (Y/N)! Make your father proud!"

With such a dramatic character when it comes to encouraging you, Macaque will become insanely tired. He'll be snoring on the couch and won't wake up even if you stacked all the furniture in the house on his back

Speaking of the house, he and you live far away from any danger

This guy didn't know jack shit about being a dad at first (you kind of hat to teach him, oh how the turns have tabled) But once he understood the basics, he took the reins, eager to impress you and earn your respect. Macaque isn't usually a sucker for developing any relationship with Earthly figures, but you were the only exception. He'd lay awake at night thinking if he's making the right choice, then slapping himself for even considering abandoning you. You are too precious.

Which is why he's totally, utterly wrapped around your little finger

So when you ask to get take-out at Pigsy's Noodles, it doesn't take much effort to sway his stoic resolve

"Dad. Pops. Papa. Father of mine," you say, grabbing his face, looking a lot older than you actually are. "Please!"

Since Macaque can't turn his face to the side (squished as it is), he sighs dramatically and closes his eyes. You catch the faint, irritated twitch of his tail, but that's about the only hint of Fed-Up Parent you can detect.

"(Y/N), Megapolis is miles away."

"You have shadow magic!"

"You can't just abuse my powers, especially now that you've decided to abuse yours," he grunts, albeit grinning at you. He' loosing.

Triumph fills your chest. "I can handle it! Uncle Pigsy would love to see me!"

"Uncle!?" Macaque splutters, finally escaping your grip. Shocked eyes blink down at you. "Sweetheart, you haven't even met Pigsy, you've only seen him from afar."

You blink up, flaunting those devil-may-care puppy eyes.

Oh, he hates it when you do that.

"Puh-lease! I'll do anything! i'll scratch your back! Do my chores before games! I-I'll stay out of your secret stash of peaches!" You gasp, flopping down on the soft carpet lining the floor. You consider the intricate pattern for a moment, then mutter under your breath; "Even though you said you hate those. . . ."

Macaque fixes you with a stern look. "You know about that, huh?"

"Mayyybe."

Like I said, not that much effort. The guy may be invulnerable to harm at best, but his immortality falls short under your tactics. Persuasive skills that he taught you to use.

Sucks how plans backfire, huh?

When you two do get to the shop, however, Macaque goes into full parent-mode

He doesn't care if you think it's uncool, you're holding his hand and that's that. He'd get you one of those child harnesses but thank the stars you'd convinced him you're worth more than such a humiliating child-control device.

So in you go, holding hands, Macaque glaring at anyone who spares you a curious glance.

When Macaque sees who's at the counter, he almost does a 180 out of there

It's MK.

Of all people.

He hasn't seen the two of you yet, though. You feel Macaque's paw tighten over your small, nimble fingers, and you can't help but squeeze back in return, asking a silent question.

It's times like these where you don't know what to do. You're still a child, even if this was your idea.

But then you spot who's at the counter

and At the same time, Pigsy comes 'round the corner with a giant tray of noodles- fit for the exact number of people surrounding the Monkie Kid. Suddenly, Macaque realizes who all is there.

This guy

Parent-Panic-Pro

The literal Monkey King is the first to turn head, eyes landing on Macaque first. You can tell instantly his fight-or-flight response just kicked in; shoulders tensing, teeth baring, eyes widening (oh yes, typical ex behavior- HAHA)

Then, all heads are turning.

And Monkey King's eyes land on you

Macaque steps in front of you, form tense and on high alert. "Heyyyy," he says, awkwardly.

The Monkey King tilts his head, perhaps confused as to why his old friend is protecting a little kid. Then he realizes. Poor guy connects the dots, lets out an unholy gasp of astonishment, and points and the both of you

"YOU. YOU- AND THEM- MACISTHATYOURKID-"

Pandemonium.

At least, in the most gentle context. MK and his friends do a double take, the Monkey King is gaping and trying to figure out who could ever love Macaque to result in this- and your dad just completely gives up. He gives you this look, like 'see why I was against bringing you here'

And you know. And your eyes say sorry, that you'll make it up to him later

Typical silent father/child communicating

(you guys are really good at that, communicating through your eyes or expressions. it helps in crowds)

That is, until your eyes fall on MK and realize for the first time that he's actually there

And Macaque's face falls into an impossibly disappointed facade (really, he's happy you're socializing) as you let go of his hand and prance right up to MK, eyes literal stars.

Thank goodness for MK, for he's kind and patient enough to let you blabble and gush on about how cool he is and how you've stayed up to date on the latest chaos he's incited (poor dude looks a bit downcast at that)

Funny how you went to such a well-behaved, shy kid to an energetic hyper-fixated gremlin in two seconds

All the while, Pigsy is listening, Monkey King corners Macaque and quietly demands answers (the two of them talk in the background for awhile as you socialize)

Noodles are served

There's just so many people in Pigsy's Noodles that the owner himself couldn't keep track of who ordered what, so everyone just got the same thing- and lots of it

In the end, you're all sitting down at the table (everyone had worked together to gather as many spare tables/chairs as possible to sit together at one huge-ass table)

You insisted you sit with Mei and MK in order to interrogate them about their adventures

OF course, you mean well, and they know that. And Macaque never pulls you aside because he likes seeing you like this, it makes him happy knowing you're indulging in the things you love, and he deosn't have the heart to tell you it's almost time to go home.

So you stay there for awhile, chatting with Mk and his friends

You get to know Pigsy (he doesn't mind being called your uncle, said at this point he's practically everyone's uncle or dad)

But alas

You're bit a child

And towards the end of the night, aftter everyone is stuffed full of noodles, you're conked out in your chair, slumped and snoring softly, eyes fluttering from dreaming

Everyone glances at you, how fucking adorable you are

Macaque straightens, clears his throat, says it's time for him to leave

Sun Wukong stops him for a moment, just to say

"Keep them safe, Mac."

Of course, like the #1 Dad he is, Macaque snorts. "I think I know more about raising a kid than you do, Wukong. I'll . . . see you out there."

Then he picks you up, carefully, so you stay sleeping, and walks out

but not before turning around to thank everyone for dinner

For once, they offer smiles (some are weaker and less meaningful than others, but props for trying. Macaque is kinda responsible for a lot of pain in their lives, anyways)

You don't register any of it, too full of noodles and new information regarding your idols

Macaque knows he'll never hear the end of it

Perhaps that's a good thing, considering the fond smile on his face as he gently carries you home, lays you in bed, and pulls the covers over your snoring form. He eagerly awaits the morning to which you'll wake him up excitedly ranting about tonight, about how you want to do it again

And he's wrapped around your little finger, so if course he'll listen to you

this guy would move the world for you

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yandreamings · 2 years

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RELATIONSHIP RED FLAGS IN BSD MEN…!

Inspired by this! Thank you for allowing me to take inspiration from your lovely work.

Content warnings: Abusive/toxic relationships, yandere, manipulation, generally terrible men, these are not healthy relationships.

Characters included: Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Atsushi, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Kunikida Doppo, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma.

[DAZAI LIES TO YOU.] Where to start with this guy… really, he’s a walking red flag, isn’t he? Well, he’s handsome, he’s outgoing, and he’s funny, so what’s not to love? In your eyes, everything is perfectly fine- you have a normal, happy, caring boyfriend who would never do anything wrong. Guess what? False information! Dazai has lied to you from the day you first met. About his job, about his past, hell, even about his hobbies and favourite colour. He liked you from the beginning, and knew he didn’t want to let you slip away, so he has to do this. He’s so good at it that you’re none the wiser, too. You adore him and see him as the perfect partner, just what he wanted. People who actually know Dazai give you weird looks whenever you praise him so highly, but it doesn’t matter to you. You love him, and he loves you! So, what’ll happen when you’re confronted with the truth? When you realize your lover has blatantly lied to your face about nearly everything?

[CHUUYA IS POSSESSIVE.] If I were being honest, a relationship with Chuuya would be great. He’s caring, respectful, and knows how to treat you, so it’s wonderful! Except for the fact that he’s pulled a gun on every single other man who has tried to look at you. And shanked someone who was trying to hit on you at a bar. And never lets you out of his sight whenever you’re out with him. Or in general. So... maybe not that great. But can you blame him? He’s lost so much in his short life, knowing nothing but loss and pain, but then you come along! He doesn’t realize he has this issues, either- or maybe he just doesn’t care. He’s not going to stop anytime soon and he won’t let anyone touch what belongs to him. Chuuya spoils you rotten and makes sure you know that you’re loved, but can you deal with an iron grip on your waist and a harsh glare at anyone who dares to try and speak to you?

[ATSUSHI WORHIPS YOU LIKE A DEITY.] Poor, poor Atsushi... all he wants is for someone to love him, and how that he’s finally found you, his beloved, his most treasured person, he wants to make sure you know just how much he adores you. Some people don’t say I love you enough, but Atsushi says it a bit too much. It’s kind of cute at first, with all the gifts and his endearing, flushed cheeks as he tells you he loves you, but it doesn’t take long for things to go awry. At 5am sharp, he spams you with messages, ranging from ‘Good morning, have a good day today!’ to ‘Please text me back. Please. I miss you. I hope you’re okay. Please. I love you.’ You can’t catch a break with him, to be honest. He’s so in love with you that it creeps your friends out; some of them have told you that they catch him staring at you from behind a corner whenever you’re out with them. If you ever try to break up with him, prepare to be guilt-tripped by his wobbling lips and tears eyes. Don’t leave him- you can’t, you’d never do something like that, right? He loves you so much, don’t you see?

[AKUTAGAWA WANTS TO OWN YOU.] Akutagawa has no idea what he’s doing when it comes to dating and love. He knows he gets a weird, funny feeling in his chest whenever you touch him or smile at him, but he still doesn’t get it. And... why do you think you can talk to other men? Or other people? Is he not good enough? Sometimes, he swears that one day he’s just going to take you and keep you in his home for only him to see and talk to. Honestly, it doesn’t even strike him as something that’s wrong- you’re his, aren’t you? You swore to him that you’d never betray him or do anything so outrageous, so the best way to do that is take you as his own, permanently. He won’t care if you scream and cry and make a big fuss, he has his own ways of shutting you up, so do what you want. It won’t stop him.

[KUNIKIDA IS CONTROLLING.] Fork spotted in the kitchen, am I right? Kunikida is a man who knows what he wants when he wants it, and that pertains to you as well. You need to be awake at the same time as him, dressed to his standards, work hard at your job, eat according to his meal plans, and make time for dates, too. It get super exhausting super quickly, but if you bring it up, he makes it seem like you’re the bad guy here, that he’s just trying to help you be your best self, so you stay. He genuinely loves you and wants what’s best for you, so just let him do this, okay? He knows he can be hard on you (understatement), but it’s all in good faith. Also, make sure to brush your teeth better next time at 9pm sharp, long enough after dinner. He can see that you haven’t been doing it good enough lately. Don’t make him come and watch you.

[FYODOR THINKS YOU’RE INFERIOR TO HIM.] This is kind of a given, isn’t it? If you’ve managed to be manipulated into a relationship with Fyodor, congratulations! You’re going to develop the inferiority complex of the decade. It’s not that he tells you he thinks he’s better than you, it’s in his actions. If you go to a restaurant, he orders for you and doesn’t let you speak to the waiter; you might mess it up again! Come on, he can do it for you, don’t be silly. He picks out your clothes for you; no offense, but you’ve never had the best taste, darling, and he knows what you look good in anyway. He never listens to anything you have to say unless you’re telling him how much you love him or something similar. The way he likes you is at his beck and call, so if you’re not into being treated like a subhuman lover, then I’d run away if I were you.

[NIKOLAI NEVER TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY.] This dude takes the word clown to a whole new level when it comes to your relationship. It’s fun at first; all of your dates are exciting, he’s always got something up his sleeve to impress you, and he seems like a great guy (except for all the atrocities, but that’s for another day) for the most part. However, if you bring up a concern to him, relationship-related or not, he scoffs, brushes you off, and acts like nothing happened. That, or he ridicules you like nothing else. Even if you’re crying your eyes out, begging him to take something seriously, he only laughs, saying you look super cute when you’re crying. He’s quite sadistic, if you can’t tell, so he’ll probably add insult to injury and make fun of you if you push him further.

[SIGMA ALWAYS TRIES TO APPEASE YOU.] Okay, this doesn’t sound so bad on the surface, but Sigma will not argue with you or have difficult conversations. Ever. You want to have a serious talk with him? Ah, he’s busy, but he’ll bring you home a gift after work! He did something you don’t like? Don’t get made, please, how about he takes you out to dinner? He’s avoidant to the core when it comes to you, only because he knows there are more experienced guys out there who know what they’re doing, and you could leave him for one of them any day, but especially if he says the wrong thing during an argument. So he just... doesn’t have them! Simple, right? Yeah, not so much. It’s all smiles and rainbows according to Sigma, and he outright refuses to listen to any separation or break talk. It’s just not necessary, you know? Why waste time getting angry when he could get you a shiny new necklace, or that outfit he knows you’ve been eyeing? Good luck with that attitude, buddy.

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vespulagermanica · 10 months

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Disclaimer: im critical of hb. Look at my username goddamit

Some of you hb criticals are really fucking weird and ableist towards people with mental illness ngl. I haven’t interacted much in the community myself because i have been working on my own mental health snd getting a diagnosis and proper meds(aytypical anti psychotics) and jesus fuck why are people claiming vivziepop is ‘delusional’ and viv fans are ‘mentally ill’ just because they’re being an asshole or lying or have slightly weird ideas. And dont fucking give me ‘ohhj i grew up around mental illness so i know this is it’ or ‘ohh the hb fans are impacting my mrntal health’ grow the fuck up or delete your account. Vivziepop isnt ‘delusional’ just because she has a shitty, stupid discourse opinion that a ton of 30 year old bisexual women on the internet share. She’s just a person who falls for bad retoric, she doesn’t have a condition that causes delusions and your shithead words would be way fucking worse and so much more dangerous if she genuinely did, i can tell you that.

And if not liking hb is giving you mental health problems maybe try not being so stubborn and fixated on that? Get consueling if it’s too too much for your poor hater mind?

Because i can guarantee that it isn’t giving you an actual psychological condition, and if it’s enhancimg one you already had, you should totally stop engaging with anyone involved and log out. Focus on ocs or something maybe.

Trust me, my autism gave me a SPINTREST on hb critique and even i am not as much of a fucking weirdo and loser as these people who are claiming vivziepop has a condition that makes her have delusions. Seriously fuck off you are poisoning the hb critical community. This is the reason i’ve been posting nearly nothing related to hb you guys. Too tired. The fans think narracustic abuse is a real term and the criticals think everyone who wrote it is mentally ill for no reason.

I’m not fighting anyone in the comments or rbs so don’t even try because i am DONE with these shitheads , i am honestly only saying this for my followers so know if you try to argue with me i’ll delete your comment

#helluva boss critical #stolashater speaks

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angelofthenight · 4 months

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What Doesn’t Kill Me Pt.1

(Yandere!Alex Delarge x Fem!Reader)

Summary: You were finally free from your abusive and obsessive “boyfriend” when he was arrested with a long sentence. But when he comes back to you on his knees in tears after the Ludovico's Technique, you can’t help but welcome him back into your arms once learning that he is literally incapable of harming you ever again. Yet you begin to question your own morals.

Warnings: Yandere, Dark themes, Ladstat, Swearing/Language, Unhealthy/Abusive relationship, Sexual context/themes, Non-Con (off screen rape), Gangs, Obsessiveness, Home invasion, Sexual sadism, Physical abuse/Violence, Knife threat, Blood, Spitting, Brief pussy slapping, Alex is his own warning, You are responsible for your own content consumption

Word Count: 4.2k

( Fun Fact: I fucking hate Alex so much but I wrote a very long essay about A Clockwork Orange’s moral of redemption for my senior year of film studies class and I got an interesting idea for a yandere fic. Like how would the darling react if the yandere was “cured into being a good person”? )

Table of Contents

You hated Alex Delarge. You hated him. You loathed him. You despised him. But most of all, you were terrified of him.

On the contrary, Alex was head over heels in love with you. He was absolutely smitten with you and you were the center of his world.

You were practically forced to be his girlfriend. He just one day walked up to you and declared that you were his girlfriend now. And every day since that day was hell for you, the torturous part of hell that you are chained to.

Your soon to be nightmare all started when you two were just standing next to each other at the record store flipping through rows of records that were next to each other. He pulled out a record that caught your eye, it was one of your favorites, you thought you were the only one in town who listened to that band. Your passion for that specific artist made you smile and say aloud, “I love that record.”

He looked up at you with surprise in his eyes. He didn’t think anyone in town knew the record.

His silence made you awkwardly rant. “I honestly thought I was the only one in town who liked them. No one knew who the hell I was talking about when I would bring it up.” You gave a lighthearted laugh. “I love how the order of the songs makes a story and how each melody can, like, control what you feel. It’s a work of art. Gives me chills every time I listen to it.” You said all of this with your grin growing bigger, so happy you could talk to someone with taste.

The corner of Alex’s lips lifted up and his eyes gleamed with genuine joy, thrilled to meet someone who understands the brilliance of his favorite record. The two of you had a very long conversation about the record which extended to talking about other kinds of music. You both would drag each other around the shop to show the other some of your other favorite records.

You two instantly clicked and got along. Alex felt so comfortable with you, his mind felt at ease, and he enjoyed just simply talking with you. He’s never felt that way about anyone before. He actually enjoyed listening to you. You were so understanding, so open minded, so fascinating.

You two met in the record shop about three more times after that and would hang out for the rest of the day. You liked being around Alex. He was very funny and always put you in a good mood with his positivity. He was a very easygoing and eccentric guy; a rarity in this town full of people with sticks up their asses.

You thought nothing but good things about Alex. You really enjoyed having him as a friend. That is, until he fell for you.

In his own defense, how could he possibly not?

You were so kind and gentle with him, treating him as if he were your priority. You could get so feisty, like a house cat. As much as he loved his women defenseless and frail, your straightforward approach and no-nonsense attitude in situations that called for it really riled him up. You made him laugh and always had knowledgeable opinions. You were so smart and had an ability to be unashamedly open. And you had some real horrorshow groodies.

It was as if you were specifically and meticulously and personally made for just him. You had the same music interests as him, your exact physique was his dream girl body, your jokes always landed perfectly with him, your eyes were coincidentally his favorite color, and your breasts were the perfect size for his hands.

Alex didn’t believe in love, nor believe in wasting time seeking it. But you… you had just infected him with a fever no ice pack could soothe. Your ivy vines laced and intertwined around the wrinkles of his brain making you his constant thought. And those leaves left behind a poison ivy rash he couldn’t scratch away.

You were everything he had ever wanted. Everything he would never be… but still wanted to own.

After a night of exhilarating ultraviolence, terrorization, and vandalism with the gang, he felt such a rush. And because of that rush it was that moment where he realized he had to tell you the truth. He must have you. So he left his pals a little early to make his way straight to your apartment. He knew where you hid your spare key so it was easy storming into your living room and finding you cleaning up after yourself of your dinner.

Alex was too caught up in his adrenaline to take notice that he only took off his mask and hadn’t changed out of his gang-related wardrobe, far too focused on getting to you. But you had noticed. It was the very first thing you noticed as he stood in front of you with a breathless grin. And it was all you could focus on even as Alex declared with a cane in his hand that the reason as to why he’s been acting so strange lately was because he was in love with you.

Your iris’ were shaking and your breath was heavy within your chest as you took in the clothing from his bowler hat down to the visible codpiece. What he was wearing looked exactly like what one specific violent gang wore in the papers next to the article explaining the increase in gang terrorism due to the reduction in policing effectiveness. Juvenile delinquent gangs populated the streets because of how understaffed the police force was, most people barely even went out these days. But, for a reason you now understood, you always felt safe yourself when you went out into public, especially with Alex. But now you understood why you were safe when seen with him.

“Alex… what are you wearing? Is this a joke?” You shakingly spoke out, not responding to his confession which appeared to irk him. He took a step toward you which prompted you to take one back. Alex glanced down at his clothes and in honesty… he didn’t really care if you knew. He was creative with ways he could keep you quiet. He honestly kind of liked it if you knew.

"These here are just my nochy on the town duds with my droogs.” He announced with a sharp grin, gesturing towards his white clothes. “You won't dob me in, won't you, devotchka?” He said with a joking tone despite the threatening look in his eyes.

Your frown sunk down, your lungs feeling as if they were closing in on your heart making it harder to breathe steadily. Your hands wrung together in a nervous fashion as you seemed to cower away from someone you considered a friend. “Alex, you’re scaring me. I… I think you should leave.” You said with the delusional hope that he would respect your wish and exit the way he came.

But Alex wasn’t having it. “Leave without your answer?” He exclaimed as he held out his cane then slammed it down against your floor with one hand on his hip, tilting his head up with a sense of pride. “I think not.”

He wasn’t going to leave until he got your answer to his confession. You felt sick to the pit of your stomach. Your lips parted but no words were released. You didn’t know what to say, too caught up in the chilling realization of Alex’s secret life.

You’d be lying if you said you never really thought of him in that way, because you have once in a blue moon. How could you not with your handsome and funny male friend who always made time for you? You always teased the idea of dating him in your mind, experimented with the thought of being in a relationship with him. But it was never more than that though. More of curiosity and craving a partner rather than a crush.

You struggled to find the right words. “I… I… I feel… I-” You were torn between not wanting to encourage or provoke him yet also fearing your safety. “Spit it out, devotchka. Koshka got your tongue?” He giggled with a devilish smirk.

“I just…” You swallowed the growing lump in your throat, as if trying to swallow your fear, before it got too big that it would render you mute. “I really like you as a friend.” You fully expected him to lash out, scream at you, anything of the sort. But he simply cackled like a child.

“Nonsense, dearie!” He said in between the chuckles. “You’re just taken by surprise, is all! You’ll surely change your mind after some lubbilubbing.”

Your eyes widened in shock and horror and offense. You thrashed your arm up to point at your front door with a face full of upset anger. “Get out, Alex! I mean it!” You demanded, not believing this was all coming from someone you used to respect and think kindly of.

He, however, wasn’t phased by your raised voice and demand as he began to take swinging steps toward you, his cane lifting up to rest over his shoulder. “You’re not just gonna send me off without any sweet treat, are ya, love?” He said with a sick smile, his eyes going hooded with a predatorial shadow over his blue orbs that began to travel your body.

Your blood went cold, stinging your bones like frostbite, as you took notice of your nighttime wear. You didn’t plan for company and due to living alone you had the habit of dressing a little more indecently, as well as because you planned to go to bed right after finishing cleaning your dinner dishes. Your goosebumped skin hardly had the safety of coverage from your silk one-piece pajamas that consisted of thin tank top straps and shorts.

Your bottom lip grew so unbearably heavy that it began to shake, you taking a slow step back despite how close he’s gotten already. Your frighteningly alarmed eyes kept themselves trained on Alex’s as he stalked forward like a lion cornering an antelope, that shit-eating grin still intact.

“Y’know,” he started while he slowly began to close in on you as you walked backwards, “I think, deep down, you’re a bit of a bad girl.” He said, a tone a tad darker than before which only made your heartbeat pump painfully in your pulse. Your terror was slowly swallowing you whole like a drain.

“I think you might get a kick of it if I come on strong, just a bit rough.” He said, and before you could react in fearful panic to what he was implying, he held both ends of his cane in his hands and swung it over your head to land on your lower back. He used the position of his horizontal cane to roughly pull you closer to close the gap, sending you straight into his chest.

You gasped at the action and instantly began to struggle, throwing your hands up in an attempt to push him away by his shoulders or to at least grant some distance between the two of you. But he kept you tightly against him. “Excited now are we, eh?” He chuckled down at you, your resistance getting him all hot and bothered.

Before he confessed how he felt about you, Alex had already assumed that you felt the same way. He had an intense belief in his own perception of reality and didn’t really consider the possibility that you may not share the same feelings. His view of love was distorted and interpreted any signs of kindness or attention as your reciprocation.

But Alex was a self-aware guy. He wasn’t blind and deaf to how you clearly did not want him by how you panicked and struggled within his hold. But now that he thought about it… he didn’t really care about how you felt. Your rejection surprisingly affected him a lot less than he would’ve guessed, it actually didn’t really hurt that much.

He was naturally driven by his own twisted desires and impulses. He just wanted to exert control and power over you, rather than to seek your genuine love and affection, even though he had to admit that those would be nice to have. It was like he was in his own world, detached from the reality of reciprocal love.

He loved you. And that was all that mattered. He could still do whatever he wanted to you. And with the right tactics, he could make you do whatever he wanted. So what exact difference would your feelings make?

Alex’s cane dug into your lumbar spine, springing a pained wince past your teeth. Your attention was so focused on the pain on your skin that you gasped in unpleasant surprise at one specific tug on your body that made your pelvis grind right into the bulge of the codpiece. You stifled your whimper behind your teeth, the hard pad rubbing a sensitive part of your clit as Alex continued this action with a malicious grin.

When he got you distracted enough he took the opportunity to quickly pivot around you, rotating his cane around your body from your lower back to against your neck. The sudden harsh pressure on your throat instantly made you wheeze, your hands flying up to grasp onto the stick to try to grant you some air but to no avail due to the imbalance of strength between you and Alex.

You felt his chin rest in the crook of your neck and shoulder, his cheek also pressed against the side of your neck. You felt his smile and heard his pleasurable inhale through his nose. He was enjoying your struggle. He lifted his head so that his lips touched the shell of your ear, prompting you to make an effort to squirm away from his touch. But the grip he had on the cane across your frail throat made it easy to keep you as close as possible.

“Very well tomorrow’s your laundry day,” he practically purred into your eardrum which only created nausea that spread throughout your gut, “because those sheets of yours are about to get very merzky.”

If his innuendo hadn’t paralyzed you to absolute terror, you would’ve paid more fearful mind to the question on how he knew when you did your laundry.

You whimpered in powerless fear when he jerked you with the cane to force you to walk backwards. Well it was mostly him walking and your feet practically being dragged; your hands still remained on the cane to try to loosen its pressure on your cartilage. He led the two of you into your bedroom, jabbing his foot back to kick your door open in a wider frame. Once you were in he had tossed you onto the mattress with little care.

Tears began to prickle your eyes once you had collided into your bed, coughs following from the stinging pain on your throat as you gently touched where it hurt. You weren’t allowed much relief of personal space when Alex threw his hat to the side before crawling onto the mattress to reach you. He tightly grasped your biceps to flip you onto your back, him taking a comfortable seat on your waist.

He angled his torso above you and rocked his hips, grinding his clothed erection against your pelvis just once before he placed one hand next to your head. His other hand slowly wrapped itself around your face to force your shaking, watering eyes onto his carnivorous ones. He stared at you for a moment, a moment too long for your comfort. He stared at you and you could practically see the feverish twisted and covetous thoughts stream behind those bright blue eyes. And then a Cheshire Cat grin spread his lips after realizations awoke in his mind.

“Thou art such a beauty when you platch.” He said. The feeling of sadistic fervor and his far-too-long repressed lustful temptations were morphed together into bedroom eyes.

You went owl-eyed around your petrified pupils. Finally, you couldn’t hold the weight any longer as the situation became much too real to you and the heavy tears spilled out of your eyes. Alex’s smile widened before he pushed himself back up to straight posture, both of his hands reaching behind his back to unsheathe a dagger from his cane.

The sight of the long and sharp blade made your deep frowning lips part, a faint yelp weak in your throat. It was as if your horror stole all the words from you and left you far too terrified and weak to say anything. And your ears felt nearly deaf from the violent beating of your heart that rang in your eardrums. The only sounds you could hear were your scared sobbing wails and the sound of your pajamas ripping as he dragged the dagger down the clothing like a zipper.

Once sliced open enough, Alex placed the knife in his mouth to hold it with his teeth as he used his hands to tear it open the rest of the way. You were left in nothing but your panties, no bra due to the fact you had planned for independent slumber. But now you wished your sleeping customs were different as you laid exposed and helplessly vulnerable underneath the wicked monster you once felt joyful to call your dear friend.

And that monster’s eyes took in your vulnerability with a deranged infatuation; eyes that ravished the sight so hungrily. With the dagger still clenched between his white teeth, Alex’s hands were free to reach down and grope your breasts like dough. You whimpered with a feeble tremble, your leaking eyes squeezed shut in severe discomfort as you tightly gripped the sheets with white knuckles.

He grasped the side cups of your chest to push your bust together, giving him a better view of both of them at the same time. The action made you sharply inhale from the sensitivity, but it was as if that woke you up because you then felt the protective courage to snatch his wrists in an attempt to claw his unwanted touch off you; furious and disgusted by his animalistic audacity.

Your attempt of defense was rendered as nothing but a detriment to yourself as it was simple for Alex to free himself from your hold. One hand slammed onto your elbow to cage it to the mattress and his other hand retracted the dagger from his mouth to push it horizontally against your still hurt throat. Not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to make you cower away from him and attempt to push yourself deeper into the mattress to escape the touch of the blade.

“Now, now, now, my dear darling.” He spoke with a sharp smile and pupils dilated in insanity. “Don’t do anything you will regret. Best to just lay back, relax, and enjoy the show. Maybe a couple of tears here and there for sweetness. But be the noble girl you always are and behave while I ravage your cunt.”

He turned the dagger diagonally to rest the tip atop the center of your collarbone. His grip on the handle was tight and you knew one wrong move on either of your ends would end with your blood gushing down your naked body. “I’d hate to carve up such elegant plott. It’d be a sin!” He tapped and glided the blade against your neck teasingly.

He leaned down to position his lips next to your ear. “But it’s a good thing I’m not a gloopy malenky dobby church boy.” He breathed out, causing your limbs to shiver in sickened fear. “I’m not afraid to get a little sinful.” He husked before he opened his mouth to drag his wet, warm tongue from your jawline up to your ear. Your joyless frown involuntary trembled.

Alex angled his face above yours, taking in your visibly terrified features and your salty rivers of tears and nearly salivating at the sight. “Now… Do you promise to behave?” He asked you with a cruel, mocking tone. The breathy, agonized sob you were holding occupied your throat so all you could do was reply with a twitchy yet compliant nod.

His smile practically lit up. “That’s my devotchka!” He exclaimed proudly before parting the dagger from your chest and instead moving it to rest against your jawline, allowing his thumb to caress your tearfully wet cheekbone. He dipped his head down to capture your lips within his for a sweet and simple kiss. He separated himself after he was satisfied with the taste to look up into your immensely glossy eyes with unfiltered fondness.

Your intoxicating lips tempted him to return for another, but quicker, deep kiss before his hands slid down your waist to hook his long fingers around the hem of your panties. He kept them there as he moved himself to come face to face with your sheltered cunt. Your frowning lips quivered as you bit them to ease your pounding heart. But not even your mind that tried to make you recite an entire work day in your head to distance yourself from your reality could distract you from Alex lifting your hips high up into the air so that he could straighten his back.

He smiled devilishly down at your forbidden flower with unhinged admiration laced within his features and eyes, your legs dangling over his shoulders. And without a hint he had shoved his nose straight into your clothed clit and took a deep, dirty inhale. You whined at the contact. He removed his nose to look down at you. “My, oh my. Your sladky von of strack is quite to die for, my dear.” He chuckled sardonically in his throat to himself before jokingly pecking a kiss to your clothed folds, creating a ‘mwah’ sound, and chuckling again at your second whine. He truly found your meek fear amusing.

He released the hold he had on your hips, letting your lower body plop back onto the bed with a bounce. Then he jumped the gun, his hands back onto the band of your panties and tugging them off down your shivering legs. Clasping his hands tightly onto your inner thighs, he pushed them apart to spread your legs wide open to put your cunt on full display for his ravishing eyes.

Breathy sobs began to invade your voice despite your desperate resistance to such. You just couldn’t believe this was happening. Your body shook as if you were freezing yet you felt your humid sweat as if you were boiling, it was a sickening feeling as your once sanguine world crumbled around you.

Alex retched inward to spit onto your clitoris, gave it a second to let his thick saliva ooze down your folds before using his fingers to rub in the slimy substance. He used an up and down then circular motion before giving it a slap, creating a wet, lewd sound.

You barely even registered Alex removing his codpiece then pants and boxers until he positioned his erection near your now wet hole and climbed on top of you, leaning his face awfully close to yours with his hands pinning your wrists. He relished the sight of your bloodshot eyes coated with hot tears and the sound of your distressed sobbing begs. A sense of sick euphoria swelled up within him.

Oh god how he adored you; his severe psychopathic obsession. Truthfully, Alex would’ve done whatever it took to have you.

He held a predatory gaze. “You’re my world, darling.” He purred to you before thrusting himself into you with a possessive claim and lustful selfishness fueling him.

Alex was right about your sheets. After a very long night of the old in-out-in-out, multiple rounds and positions and orgasms later, he finally left you on your bed and made his exit. Not without promising that he'd be back and proclaiming that you were now his and his alone though. And threatening you as well about tattling.

He was right, your sheets became filthy. They were vandalized with both of your climax’s and your blood, as well as your tears and a few rips that had been made with your gripping nails and his dagger. Your body was as vandalized as your sheets. The elegant skin of yours he seemed so fond of was now littered with bruises, hickey’s, bite marks, nail scratches, and small blade wounds (you just couldn’t stop yourself from resisting and fighting back so many times). But it seemed like he loved the sight and color of your blood as he had lapped it up every time his dagger and his teeth punctured into you.

You laid in the mess and weeped. Your mind was vandalized worse than both your sheets and body. Vandalized with betrayal, trauma, violation, dread, and a mortified horror. All of what Alex was deep down this entire time.

That was when your life became the torturous hell you had to live with.

#reader insert #yandere #yandere x reader #dark fic #alex delarge #yandere Alex Delarge #alex Delarge x Reader #yandere Alex Delarge x Reader #a clockwork orange #clockwork orange #stanley kubrick #malcolm mcdowell

113 notes · View notes

keis-slut · 7 months

Note

hi i love ur writing!!! can u maybe do a fnaf sb kink/fetish headcanon thing? all characters pls 🥹🤍

OH MY GOD??????⁉️⁉️⁉️

DOING IT RN YES???⁉️⁉️⁉️

i’m going to try my best to put EVERY detail i possibly can in this and explain as much as I can, just give you guys a feast LMFAO.

FNAF SB CHARACTER KINK HEADCANONS (NSFW)

GLAMROCK FREDDY

-fuck, y’all…

-i think he’s the most inexperienced of them all, but once you get him started, he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing for some reason. he just does it all right, and so good too???

- he’s oddly always horny though, but feels embarrassed when he does stuff to himself, and honestly isn’t a big fan of it

-he’s the sweetest in bed and mostly vanilla, but if you tell him what you’re into, he’ll immediately like it and do whatever you ask, he’s here to please you

-this even includes being nasty, mean, degrading you, surprisingly

-as much as y’all might roll your eyes at this next hc…uhm he be rolling his eyes back when you call him daddy, let’s be fr.

-he loves the idea of his “father figure” personality turning to a sexual thing as well and getting someone off.

-if you have daddy issues, freddy fazfuck is here to help.

-he loves being called daddy and seen as superior or in charge, never in an abuse of power kinda way, but a protective way, even though the idea does get him off.

-he loves receiving oral SO much, just watching the way his cock disappears behind your lips, he finds it so beautiful to look at.

-he finds you so beautiful to look at

-he also loves playing with your hair (platonic or romantic), like when cuddling, or holding it back prettily as you suck him off

-he’s obsessed with the noises you make, he loves hearing you moan for his cock, especially when you get so loud he’s forced to see the sight of your mouth being covered by his large hand.

-also he’s not the biggest possessive or jealous type, but he can’t lie and say he has never thought of possibly the others hearing you scream “daddy!” loud and clear from his greenroom.

-the vibrations of your moans on his larger hand almost makes him go completely feral, but he manages to keep his composure.

-he’s not very loud himself, but he does a lot of praise of how good it feels and he’s more of a talker

-telling you how well you’re taking him, calling you pretty names, always making you feel good

-“my pretty superstar, taking daddy so well…such a good girl”

-he’s does kinda grunt a lot though, he mostly just holds back on his noises so he could hear you

-he’s all top, you’ll never see him as a bottom and i don’t think you guys want that anyway

-you’d rather be calling him daddy as his fazcock stretches ur fazpussy

-he WILL beg you to ride him though, he’s obsessed with you in his lap, up and down on him, the way your hips move. reverse cowgirl is good too, still gives a great view of your hips.

-he loves your hips, GOD, he loves your hips.

-did i say he loves your hips?

-grabbing them with his big hands while you ride him, feeling you move and leading you as you take him.

-definitely a thighs kinda guy. hips and thighs.

GLAMROCK CHICA

-OKAY UHM.

-i feel like she comes off all cute, girly and innocent and everything, but she’s into A LOT.

-and they’re “weird”, maybe even taboo.

-cunnilingus at its finest, she’s in love with women, even tho i hc she’s pansexual.

-she’s also a switch but more of a massive top.

-she loves when you can surprise her sometimes and be top, she finds it so amusing, but will slowly melt if you keep going, letting you take control.

-LOVES BOOBS

-she’s so fun during sex though, she giggles a lot and jokes around, it’s the best when you can fuck, laugh, and fuck again like nothing happened.

-with her love for eating, and food, and her being used for food representation for literally ever, i have this small (reallybig) idea that she’s indulged in the feederism community to a degree.

-i just have a feeling she loves the idea of getting you drunken and sleepy on eating a lot, then fucking you all drowsy.

-this goes for aftercare too, she also loves just snacking a lot with you or even feeding you, giving you snacks to try etc.

-this also goes for her obsession with squeezing all the right places (like her loving boobs, she’ll squeeze them constantly) but even with thighs or hips/waist, like love handles, or if you have the cutest tummy. she loves tummies.

-the idea of you begging her to let you finish, omg, she’s so into edging she’ll keep you going all night.

-she praises alot though, loves calling you “good girl/boy”, telling you how good you’re holding up for her, as it’s been almost 2 hrs of edging

-she just loves admiring you while she makes you feel good

ROXANNE WOLF

-100% top, don’t fight me, im right.

-and she’s a lesbian LOL she loves pussy

-loves calling you pup, read my roxy smut RN.

-needs you to be begging for it.

-absolutely needs to be doggy style, no pun intended, she’s such an ass person, she has to see that RECOIL.

-rough as fuck, hard, fast, animalistic thrusts.

-she loves when your brain cannot keep up, she’ll call you her braindead little bitch.

-as you can see, she’s into degrading. her praise is extremely limited during sex, it’s very rare and when/if it does come out, it needs to be taken lightly, it’s all false sympathy.

-even though she’s extremely degrading to you, she needs you to praise her during sex. has you telling her how well she’s doing, how good she feels, who you belong to, etc.

-“tell me i’m the best, say it, now, filthy bitch” “you’re the best, you feel so good, fuck!”, “more please, im all yours! I belong to you!”

-“and this pretty pussy belongs to who? tell me, pathetic pup” “you! it’s all yours, roxy!”

-aftercare is very different, she uses sex to be absolutely disgusting to you, but she will do ANYTHING for you after sex to make you feel like a queen, she’s the sweetest and most caring ever.

-she knows that you know she means nothing she says to you during sex.

-she has every single toy you could think of, she’s a huge toy person. she probably has like 5 different sets of strapons and 20 different dildos.

-loves when you wear a remote control vibrator during a show and she can see you squirming right in the front row as she controls it, how you watch her perform, begging her with your eyes to either stop, or make you cum already.

-uhm she shows off a lot so she’ll leave marks all over you, more than likely using her teeth on your neck, so others know you belong to her and they know who’s marks they are.

-she’s not into choking much (unless you are), she’s more into grabbing a fistfull of your hair and pulling your head back while plowing you from behind. she needs you to arch your back inhumanely just for her.

-although, ironic, she does have a collar and a leash which is the closest you’ll get to being choked by her, using this is convenient since you’re more often going from behind. she loves the control.

-also never pull her hair. ever.

-she’s extremely possessive, she would never want to share you. you’re hers and only hers. don’t ever talk about being poly or having threesomes or anything. chicas joked about it before and roxy almost ripped her beak off. she’d never let chica join, or anyone for that matter. you’re hers.

-so she’d be more than happy to let anyone else watch her pound what belongs to her, and dream.

MONTGOMERY GATOR

-lord help me.

-prepare to be destroyed, just like his greenroom.

-he’s so into the idea of seeing how big he is inside you. like

-tummy bulge>>>>> ,uhm yes

-will fuck and overstimulate you into a screaming mess, he wants you to make a mess of yourself

-he’s into bodily fluids and stuff, i don’t even know if i should say it all bc i’m sure you know, but he wants you to let it ALL out. make a mess of everything, everywhere. and he’ll fuck you until it all comes out.

-and just like roxy, he’s also mean during sex, and degrades alot. he’s not as nice as roxy during the aftercare though, but he still cares alot. he’s big and scary but can be a big baby at times.

-he’s into noncon, also somnophilia, just the idea of taking advantage of someone so little like you.

-this includes size kink too, he loves how small you are compared to him.

-face fucking and head pushing !!!

-all of this is also ofc WITH CONSENT he’s really not actually an asshole, he’s respectful.

-he’s the type that would have a threesome, probably with roxy, the idea of both of them using you like that has him feral. (roxy only agreeing to this in a world where you’re montys and not hers, cuz again, she’d never share you)

SUN/MOON

-sun is submissive, moon is dominant, im just gonna start with that obvious point.

-sun is a begger 100%, and is always looking for attention, doesn’t matter how, but he will beg.

-SO good at finger fucking (it’s like the only thing he could rlly do tho, he can’t eat you)

-his slender fingers just curl and reach all the right places, and he loves praising.

-but his praise is a lil scary, it’s like overly happy praising, he’ll just be in complete awe constantly, thanking you over and over again for the experience and letting him touch you.

-lots of moaning, he’s so loud and won’t shut up.

-he loves when you take control and tell him what to do to you, yknow?

-also uhm call him a good boy for doing what you asked and see what happens.

-“put them in, now curl them-yeah, like that, good boy, sun, good boy”

-he’ll melt completely, he’ll giggle uncontrollably, his wires and gears clicking and twitching in excitement as you ride his fingers.

-he cannot ever keep his hands to himself like he’s always gotta be touching you, he’s OBSESSED.

-definitely obsessive type, clingy asf

-MOON, OKAY SWITCH THE PERSONALITY.

-some of sun is still the same with moon, like moon is definitely also OBSESSEDOBSESSEDOBSESSED with you.

-(like monty) somnophilia, next.

-this includes getting himself off to you asleep^ (consensually ofc)

-also good with fingers, same as sun, although is more driven by the look of the mess you’ve left on his fingers.

-always fascinated by seeing how many he can fit and how much he can stretch you out. and he thinks you’re so pretty down there, he’s a starer.

-he would most definitely try and keep an item of your clothing and always smell it, your scent never failing to get him off.

-into praise degradation, like calling you pretty, followed by something derogatory.

-his fingers, like i’ve mentioned, you’re both obsessed with them, not only when he fingers you, but he’s so into sticking them in your mouth and gagging you with them.

-fucking you in missionary, he loves watching your tongue swirl around his fingers, and when you suck on them

DJMM

-this is so funny i even have to say this but he loves having music on when having sex, there has to be music

-I also feel like you can never tell when he’s being jokingly flirty with you, or if he’s genuinely trying to be suggestive and serious.

-because he jokingly flirts all the time, this is the reason you have every word to “Careless Whisper” memorized, he loves randomly playing it to be a goof.

-because of how big he is, there’s an obvious size kink, but he’s extremely gentle with you. not like monty’s size kink and the idea of taking advantage of someone so small, his is more like in a cute way, taking care of you, ur so itty bitty.

-I saw this around and on other posts before and i cannot help but agree that since he’s much bigger there’s not much he can do, but so his whole body vibrates? like when you play music so loud in a car, the sound waves and bass makes the car shake and vibrate. yeah like that so uh, he finds great pleasure in watching you rut on his finger as he’s vibrating.

-he loves this so much, he’ll even start messing with you by pausing and playing the music to fuck with the vibrations

-almost like edging you, honestly

-he’ll do whatever it takes to prolong your finish, just so he could keep watching you come undone

-the way your tiny body bounces and rubs against literally any part of him to get off.

-watching this, he gets a great view of your boobs.

-since he can’t really touch you or do a lot to you, he loves when you put on a little show for him while you use his vibrating body.

-making faces, fixing your hair, changing positions, all because he’s watching. he loves to just watch you.

-also uhm he calls you beautiful nonstop???? his fav word to use for you

VANNY/VANESSA

-so vanny and vanessa i find different, almost like sun and moon but obviously vanessa is a person.

-i’ll start with vanny.

-vanny is very dominant, very cocky more than confident.

-vanny does not like being vulnerable at all, so she’ll always take control. this is because i feel vanessa uses vanny to be someone who’s stronger and better than how insecure she actually is, for explanation.

-during sex she refuses to take off her mask, but she’ll take off the rest of her outfit.

-with women, scissoring is a favorite. but she has to be on top, she has to be the one putting the pressure on you, thrusting into you, just be on top.

-more catering towards men (also women if strapon) she likes to ride if it means she’s still in that control.

-just, do not let her on the bottom.

-same goes for handjob (not blow since she refuses to take off her mask), she wants you to be a whining, crying mess for her to let you finish.

-so she’s literally the type of person to listen to whimpering and whining audios of guys LOL.

-same girl.

-huge tease too, she’ll make you actually feel shitty, but if you’re into that then you’ll like it in the moment, so who cares?

-big fan of JOI, she loves to just be bossy and tell you what to do. she’ll never let you take charge.

-also she’ll choke the shit out of you, way into choking/breath play, anything to have you lightheaded and gasping

-also if you ask her, she’ll tie you up too. more into handcuffs though secretly, since vanessa is a security guard type thing.

-so, yeah, vanessa now, uhm

-officer vanessa I-

-I believe you are a switch

-going for vanessa now, i think she’s still got some top in her if you get her riled up enough, she can definitely be a hot dom.

-maybe if you tease her when she’s had a bad day at work or in a bad mood in general, that’s when you’ll get dom vanessa

-and she’d love to be called mommy, oh lord, try that out.

-but that also goes for when she’s a bottom, she’ll whine and cry, “mommy! mommy…”.

-she’s very into oral too, more so into receiving, when it comes to girls

-when it comes to guys though, she’ll be on her knees, she is the headmaster (lol get it? head? master? yeaaahashahahah…)

-she’s like scarily good at giving head

-other than that, she’s quite vanilla, honestly

-she does like a little praise too, like calling her pretty and things like that, telling her how good she feels

-maybe a hair tug here and there

-also possibly the occasional security guard roleplay into sex

I HOPE THESE WERE GOOD‼️‼️

I tried to add as many characters as I could think of, but if there are any you guys would want to see specifically, just let me know!!

I like doing nsfw hcs LOL

#smut writing #wattpad #writers on tumblr #smut writer #writer stuff #fnaf glamrock #vanessa fnaf #roxanne fnaf #fnaf roxy #fnaf sb #fnaf moon #fnaf security breach #fnaf #fnaf smut #fnaf headcanons #fnaf sun

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miller-n-morgan · 20 days

Text

And I Feel Fine (.ii)

Joel Miller x Jackson!Reader

18+, mdni

Summary: A new journey lies ahead, and on the very first night you become sure of something that will completely change the trajectory of your entire future.

Warnings: leaving most of the warnings the same because they apply. mentions of death, violence, gore, blood, mentions of sex abuse and trafficking. Mentions of teenage pregnancy. Mention of drugs and substances. Again, literally has ✨️the works.✨️

Word Count: 7k (i'm going absolutely wild)

Now we're cookin'.... enjoy this slice of my brain that I spent entirely too long on. And also know that the first part of the Arthur Morgan series will probably drop this week.

“I ain’t shittin’ you.” You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business. “And what makes you think that?” You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him.

Your contact had gotten you to an apartment. It was worn down, just as every other place in the QZ seemed to be, but it was better taken care of. The people living here must have been attentive about the appearance of their home. A good enough family to leave your baby with.

She stopped you in the hallway, knocking three times on the old wood door, hearing a lively voice from the otherside before it opened. The woman standing there was lovely, about thirty or so, a half smile on her face when she saw you both had arrived. This plan had been in the works for some time now.

“Hello, I’m Maxine Williams,” she greeted, reaching for your hand to shake. You did your best to match her kind and infectious energy, giving her a smile in return. She is after all going to be doing you the favor of a lifetime.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you replied, keeping your head low between your shoulders, though you felt comfortable in her presence.

She leaned into your contact, turning her head, but you heard the whisper “She’s so young…”

“S’why she needs help.”

You understood that this didn’t look right. You should not be pregnant at your tender age, should not have been put in this position. You’ve seen more horrific things than any person ever should, and it all started when you were eight… outbreak day.

“Of course… come in, both of you.”

The pleasantries went on for a while, exchanging information of where you came from, why you were in this area, what you did before being in Boston. She mentioned her husband, her two sons and their love for older things, wishing for the world the way it was. It was all just small talk, leading up to the actual conversation topic: the baby she was about to take off your hands.

“You’ll stay with us until the birth, if that’s okay,” she offered, but it sounded more like a demand. It wasn’t a harsh or cruel one. Even if you slept on the rickety couch you were lounging upon now, it would be better than camping in the woods, sleeping on the hard ground like you’d been doing only a month ago.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

Your contact was happy to see both ends so receptive. She’d never seen a deal containing human life go down this smoothly. Probably because this was a bit more sensitive of an exchange.

“Good… that’s good. I’ve heard you’re interested in a closed adoption?”

You glanced down at your stomach, feeling the weight of it, crushing inwards on the rest of your body. Having this baby and giving it away will relieve the weight both physically and metaphorically. They’ll be in good hands, better than your own could ever be.

“I think it’s probably best. I used to have siblings, but I never really took care of them… I’m not sure I could do this,” You shook your head. You saw her younger son peeking his head out of the bedroom door in the corner, backing away as soon as you caught him. Even in an apocalypse, a child can be happy… just not with you. “I want to give them their best chance.”

“I understand… and we’re going to do our best to make sure they have a normal childhood,” she responded, leaning forward and placing a comforting hand on your knee.

“Thank you…”

You had sat down on one of the containment units, feeling as though the adrenaline rush from the ambush was beginning to wear off. Tommy found Maria not far away from where you were sitting, and began to ask his special favor. It was crazy, he knew it, you knew it… but it had to be done. This girl was somehow important, to the fireflies and to all of mankind, and you were starting to wonder why. Joel hadn’t said a word, sitting across from you and awaiting the news that would surely come from his brother’s discussion with his wife.

“So, you’ve been traveling with Ellie?”

He looked up at you from his boot laces, his eyes were heavy, and he didn’t seem in the mood to talk. He was grumpy in nature, but you could tell there was more underneath the tough exterior.

“I have.” And no further explanation was given.

You didn’t think it was best to keep trying your luck, keep on asking him questions. He wasn’t the talking type and you figured you’d be wasting your time… but speak of the devil, Ellie came up to him just as the conversation between Tommy and Maria was getting heated.

“What’s that all about?” She nodded in their direction. She looked scared, like a deer caught in headlights, just not as frozen. Wide eyed and unable to look away from the scene. “Does that have anything to do with me?”

She was smart, she’d pick up on the words they were saying - more like yelling - to each other. The context clues were there, Joel would have to be an idiot to think she’d just let him off the hook.

“We’ll talk about it later…” he grumbled, his annoyance already at a high from your unimportant questions and the fighting in the background.

“Did he tell you where the lab is?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she got even closer to hear them.

The lab? Is that where the fireflies would be? You vaguely remember the days you spent with the resistance group, but you don’t remember anything about a lab…

“We’ll talk about it later,” he repeated himself, almost as a warning.

She turned to Tommy and Maria, then back to Joel, her face one of distrust and sadness. She knew, she could tell. Joel was trying to get rid of her.

You wanted to say something, to jump in and tell her that she didn’t need to be scared, didn’t need to be worried about where she was going. That you would go with her and it would be okay… but that wouldn’t help a damn thing. Even if you turn out to be her biological mother, you are most definitely not her mom, and cannot console her as one.

“Later… right,” she trailed, backing away from Joel and off to another sectional of the checkpoint.

Joel looked back to you, your eyes already on him.

He sighed, at first not saying a word… but when he made a full rotation of his eyeline and you were still staring holes into him, he had to speak up.

“If you’re lookin’ to judge me, then just-.”

“I’m not.”

Your interruption cut him off, and he didn’t really know what else to say. He nodded, not looking away from you, but rather trying to figure out what it is you needed from him. Your stare was not discomforting but it felt demanding. It wanted something.

“How long have you known her?” You finally spit out, tucking a leg under your elbow as you sat back. You knew you’d gotten his attention, now.

“Few months, now. I’m supposed to take her to the fireflies as a favor to someone.”

“What do the fireflies want with a fourteen year old kid?”

He sighed, raising his shoulders in a shrug like he didn’t know. He must’ve been lying, right? You’d gotten pretty good at reading people, but for some reason you couldn’t tell with him. Maybe you just didn’t know him well enough…

“M’not really sure. All I knew in the beginning was that I could get paid pretty well, so I took her.”

You nodded. He didn’t seem like the person that did things for the sake of them, Tommy had told you stories about him, the things he used to do. If it was for his survival, he’d do it… but just for the sake of getting paid? When barely anything left had real monetary value? It sounded like bullshit.

“She seems to trust you an awful lot,” you gestured between him and the empty space she’d left.

There was another beat of silence, to which he didn’t use for reply. Instead he sat, his back curled over and his shoulders sunken inwards. He was tired, he was worn. He needed to rest, but this life wouldn’t let him.

“She knows you’re handing her off…”

“I reckon she does, yeah.”

And right over your shoulder you heard the climax of Tommy and Maria’s argument. She held a pointed finger in his face, before he finally insisted on Joel’s plan. She couldn’t move him. He was going to do this whether she liked it or not… which is something you haven’t seen out of Tommy for years. Joel must mean a hell of a lot to him, to up and leave Maria on a dangerous errand like this.

You stay seated when Maria walks over to Joel, and then when Joel stands up to talk to Tommy. You stay seated and think… I can keep Tommy safe. I’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain from learning about this girl. I can bring him home to Maria, even if it means my life.

But you immediately stand when you hear Tommy’s rapid speech. “That girl of yours. she took one of our horses and rode off,” and then he glanced at you with an eyeroll. “She took provoker…”

You huffed a sigh, following the men over to the front of the sectional, the open trail up ahead. Maria was mad at Tommy, so obviously she wouldn’t be accompanying them… and that left you. Casper didn’t like men.

“Damnit, which way?” Joel asked, his steps were heavy on the muddy ground.

“I just saw her riding out of here!” Terry yelled, loosening the reins on two more horses he’d brought over for assistance.

“Alright, get back inside, help the others clean the place up,” Tommy told the man, nodding for you to mount the back of his horse after he’d climbed up himself. You chanced a look at Joel, riding across from you both. His face was mixed with anger and determination, and it reminded you of what Tommy looked like after hours of hunting. They were the epitome of brothers, though you’d never met the other half before.

You all followed the tracks, leading every which way it seemed. Some of the tracks were fresh, and some were older, but it was hard to tell when the grounds here were moist all the time, never really drying up and creating lasting prints on the dirt.

After a while of riding, and running into some raiders - who were easily fended off - you saw your horse standing in front of an old farmhouse, the reins tied to a pole holding up the roof of the porch. You jumped from Tommy’s mare and ran up to Casper, petting his mane and making sure he was alright. There didn’t seem to be a scratch on him.

You watched Joel enter the house, waiting back with Tommy. Even though Joel was the one she ran away from, you couldn’t imagine she’d be thrilled to see you or Tommy instead. Joel had a good reason to do what he did. He didn’t feel strong enough or fast enough for this job anymore. He didn’t feel like he could keep her safe. You unfortunately understood that feeling a little too well, and if you were correct on your suspicions, it would have been with the exact same kid.

Tommy unstrapped his gun from his back, holding it steady and watching the surroundings whilst he leaned against the porch beam you were standing by. He was trying to gage whether or not your horse was calm enough for him to approach you closer, knowing what would happen if he wasn’t.

“I think you’re right, you know…” He trailed, his voice quiet on the off chance of an open window.

“You do?”

You turned to him, you didn’t exactly have to think twice about what he meant.

“Yeah,” he nodded, a chuckle falling from his lips. “It makes sense… the timing n’ everything. She looks a hell of a lot like you… and she’s caused about as much trouble today as the first time I met you.”

“Causing trouble is genetic?” You laughed, your eyes watering a bit at the implications he made. She might be yours. Your daughter, who you didn’t think you’d see again.

“Hell, it might be. Your kinda trouble, anyway… stealin’ horses and shit.”

The nod of your head was slow, the thought of this all sinking in. It made perfect sense and yet coming to terms with the facts of ‘it is’ instead of ‘it could be’ makes you feel light headed.

You didn’t know if he was being serious or if he was just trying to make you feel better, but the look on his face told you the former. He wouldn’t just lie to you, he knew you could read him.

“I keep turning it over in my head, tryin’ to think of ways I could prove it to myself… I think just seein’ her was enough for me. I’m remembering things I thought I forgot about a long time ago.”

Now it was his turn to nod, but your moment was caught short when you heard a branch snap around the corner. You instinctively pulled your gun from your pants, holding it out in the direction the snap came from. Tommy raised his rifle, doing the same and gesturing for you to go inside. You both made it in the doorway before the threat made itself known. Two guys, coming around the corner. They hadn’t realized you were watching them yet, but they did a quick scan, making sure there wasn’t any immediate danger.

“Get upstairs,” he said in a whisper, but you snapped your head to face him.

“No way, the odds are even if I stay,” you argued, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for a fight right now. It was too risky to have you both down here.

“Go tell Joel to get his ass down here, you stay up with the kid.”

“Like hell I’m going up there. Your brother scares me,” you say in a half joking mumble, keeping watch on the two strangers that were now surrounding your horse. They were about to get kicked in the ass if they didn’t step away.

Tommy realizes that them being distracted gives a good amount of time to leave without cover.

“Alright, but you first,” he shrugged a shoulder towards the staircase, and with one last glance to your horse, you left your corner by the window.

You quickly ran up the stairs, ducking a head in a few rooms before finding the one Joel and Ellie were in.

“Get it together, we’re not alone,” Tommy said as soon as you got inside the door.

“I got two walking in,” Joel leaned towards the sliding window to get some eyes on the situation.

“There’s more inside already…”

You backed against the door, Tommy against the dresser on the opposite side. Joel stepped over in front of you, and Ellie behind Tommy. You didn’t realize until now, but taking a glance at Ellie, she looked even worse than when she left. Her face was sullen and her head was dropped. She didn’t seem to be snapping into reality, even with the weight of the situation.

You stayed by her throughout the house, when Tommy and Joel started shooting, you stood in front of her, covering them from back behind. It was weird, these maternal feelings that had never sparked within you before, only now arising for this specific human that had no clue who you were.

Once outside, it seemed strange. The dynamic between the four of you was so incredibly awkward. Everyone was thinking on a different topic, and the silence could echo on for miles. You nodded for Ellie to mount the back of your horse, since she didn’t seem comfortable to ride with Joel for the time being. She climbed up behind you and for a second you smiled, because this is your daughter, you know it… but soon after, your mind quickly succumbed to the general silence.

The nature and scenery surrounding you seemed to be duller than before, the pretty autumnal colors becoming ugly in the sense that you didn’t appreciate them right now. You loved the beginning of fall, but the feelings spread among you are tense and terrible, worse than raking up the fallen leaves before winter.

The feeling never leaves, it stays until you all reach the edge of the town.

“I’m not hungry,” you swore, shoving the extra plate of food away from your placemat.

Manxine’s husband was hungry, and you’d noticed him and his wife being decent enough to give you some of their food the past few days. It wasn’t necessary, because you weren’t working, and you weren’t barely helping them. They were helping you, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Taking extra food that wasn’t just lying around felt like stealing. You’d never been a stranger to it before, but these people were far too kind, too gentle. They made you feel like maybe the world wasn’t completely at its end. It still turned, and people were still good, despite everything.

“Yes you are, and you should be,” Maxine pushed the plate back in front of you. Her goal had been to ‘put a little meat on your bones’ as long as you were under her roof.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“Promise or no promise, you need to eat more. You’re still too thin to try and survive childbirth, ya hear?” She put the old fork back into your open hand, and you sighed. It was sometimes hard to eat more than you normally did, on the account of your body not being used to it. If you ate more than usual would it make you sick? If you threw up the extra rations they were spotting you, you’d feel terrible, but she kept insisting.

You opened your mouth to take a bite, swallowing it down and feeling the slight discomfort start to settle. Already you’d been eating a lot more than before the QZ, and you didn’t realize how slowly your appetite would have to grow.

After a few more bites you had to drop the fork to your plate, feeling too full already to keep on. You felt terrible, refusing extra portions that were meant to keep you healthy. Whether or not it was caused by the pregnancy hormones, or just your own emotional breakdown, you weren’t sure… but you started tearing up while sitting at the table.

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, covering your mouth and sitting back while the tears rolled down.

“Don’t you apologize, sweetheart,” Maxine uttered softly, her presence at your side immediately.

To her, none of this effort was wasted, or overdone. She and her husband, though some of the better off people in the QZ by job merritt, couldn’t seem to have another baby. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, or stress that they couldn’t afford it. It was simply the fact that after six years from their last child, they couldn’t conceive another. This baby, your baby, was going to be a gift to them. They were happy to take any necessary steps into getting you to childbirth.

“I just can’t eat anymore,” you tried to justify your emotions, but now it only looked like an overreaction. People are dying without food, and here you are, crying about there being too much.

“It’s alright. Leftovers don’t go to waste in this house,” she spoke, a bit of a chuckle in her tone, which alleviated some of the pressure you felt.

“Okay,” you nodded, letting her take your plate to the other room, likely where her husband had retired to.

The campfire was crackling, the smoke filling the hazy navy color of the dark sky. Trees had covered it mostly, but there were a few stars peaking here and there. You’d just finished a can of chicken soup, tossing it on the pile that had been started by the others. It was crazy, how you suddenly remembered so much, just by eating food out of a can again. Days on the run, with the fireflies, being a raider even… it all came back.

It had only been a few hours or so since leaving Jackson, but after the fiasco of today, the three of you had gotten extremely tired a lot earlier than you should have.

The three of you meaning: Yourself, Joel and Ellie.

After the silence of the horse ride back to the commune, something had changed. Joel realized not only what Ellie meant to him, but what he means to Ellie. He’d decided Tommy was no longer required, and that he could fare the journey on his own. Of course, you immediately volunteered an extra pair of hands and a quick gun as assistance. To your surprise, it was Ellie who was your greatest advocate. Her, and the fact that you remembered the lab’s location, could probably get her there on your own if you had to.

The mirror building… you don’t remember it being a lab, but as soon as Tommy said the words it jogged your memory.

Now you were here, sitting with your back against a log, and staring holes into the shoulder of a fourteen year old girl.

“Whatch’u lookin’ at?” Joel asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he lazily reclined against a tree.

You only looked away for a second, too fixated on what was just barely peeking over the collar of Ellie’s shirt and jacket. It had fallen down a bit when she laid down to sleep.

“Nothin’,” you shrugged it off. He was a man of few words, surely he’d drop it on account of having to speak more if he didn’t… but God help him, he’s like a damn cat, his curiosity could kill him.

“You’re very focused on nothin’,” he teased. There was something off about you with Ellie, he’d taken notice of it. He didn’t know what it was about but it didn’t seem like a danger.

You rolled your eyes over to him, but could tell by his glance back that he wouldn’t quit. He’d already volunteered to take the first watch, and he had nothing else better to do.

“It’s a long story, you’d get bored.”

But again, he had nothing better to do.

“Try me,” he raised his shoulders in a shrug of his own. He seemed much more docile of a creature in this setting. The early hours of night, so quiet, and dimly lit. His voice was gentle and his features were soft. He was relaxed.

You took a deep inhale, trying to brace yourself for whatever came of this. He was a fresh face, someone new to explain an old wound to. The scar had finally healed and you were about to dig a blade back through and rip it open… but you suppose you’d sharpened the knife by coming along in the first place.

“I think Ellie’s my daughter,” you breathed out, not checking for a reaction until he’d been silent too long. His eyes were narrow, and he tilted his head, looking between you two. She was fast asleep by now, but he had a picture of her in his head, comparing it to you.

“You’re shittin’ me, right?”

You blew out another long breath, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know this feeling you have or the fact that you’ve never felt it before. He doesn’t understand that you’d come to peace with the fact that you’d never see her again, and then she appeared like a ghost from your past. You thought she was your past self at first, taunting you, making fun of who you were now.

“I ain’t shittin’ you.”

You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business.

“And what makes you think that?”

You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him.

You let your eyes flick up to the stars, hoping by some miracle they will fall from the heavens in the form of angels to give you a message, that message being: shut the fuck up and don’t spill your guts to a man you met this morning.

“When I was thirteen, I was by myself. I fell into a weird group of people that could probably be considered a cult. There was this one guy that treated me better than the others…” you trailed off, not sure if you’re ready to rehash all of this. But it’s been a long time since you talked about it. You need to get it off your chest if you’re to somehow make a relationship with the product of your past. “He was in his twenties, so a lot younger than most people in the group. Pretty sure I was the youngest. I didn’t realize he was using me.”

Joel was tense, but not because he was uncomfortable… he was genuinely invested. Wanted to know this story and how it connected with Ellie. His Ellie.

“We left the group, and I found out I was pregnant a few months later. I’d barely had my cycle a fucking year… wasn’t even sure what it meant when I didn’t get it. Anyways,” you had to stifle a laugh, because just looking back… what the actual hell? You kept blinking to make sure no tears escaped in front of this man. You weren’t there yet with him. “I think he just lost all interest in me after that. He didn’t really speak to me unless it was necessary, and wouldn't look at me. Stuff like that.”

But that wasn’t the worst part, and Joel knew you were working your way up to it.

“Before I was pregnant I used to sneak into places most people couldn’t. I was real skinny like that. Was able to smuggle stuff in and out of different QZs across the country. We peddled rare narcotics for the most part… but I had to stop when I, you know…” you made a round hand motion around your stomach, hoping he got the jist. “I didn’t fit in the smaller spaces.”

“What kind of narcotics?” Joel finally asked a question, and it wasn’t really the one you were hoping for… but you understood he’d probably fallen into the same scheme over the years.

“Vicodin, mostly. Up in Princeton there was this one apartment… we’d searched it top to bottom because of how many secret hiding places there were. Vicodin everywhere. Whoever lived there was either severely addicted or preparing for the worst.”

“Maybe both.”

Yeah, probably. Damn shame he never got to use them.

“We used it as a trading token most of the time. It was actually what got us into Boston,” you waved off your tangent eventually, getting back to the story and where Ellie came in. “Pretty much gave the rest of our stash to a contact we had there… she got us a family we could hand the baby off to.”

And now he got it. You’d been knocked up by a predator, and said predator wanted you to give up the baby so he could go about using you some more. He’d seen and done some cruel things in a post apocalyptic world, but he would never stoop that low, and grimaced at anyone who possibly could.

“I had her when I was fourteen. Lookin’ at her today was like looking in a mirror,” you rambled on, still not quite to your point. “She’s the right age, from the right location… and that birthmark on her shoulder…”

He hadn’t even noticed it all this time. Months with the kid, and he thought nothing of it. But to you, it was clarification. It was the confirming piece of evidence that pulled it all together. You’d barely taken your eyes off of it since you saw it. You wanted to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Wanted to make sure it was the right shape and placement, just so you could be sure.

He nodded, seemingly coming to this conclusion now, too. It didn’t take him any more convincing. It was clear by now that your hunch was not just a hunch.

“Her dad, he still… around?”

You shook your head with a light hearted laugh.

“No,” and you could have left it with that simple answer… but that was never much your style. “I shot him in the head.”

His low whistle cut the air, and you almost felt proud. You’d killed the one thing in life that ever hurt you directly.

“He deserved worse.”

“Yeah, he did.”

And then it was quiet for a minute, all the words the two of you had spoken up until now were rotating over and around in your heads to make sense of them, until he spoke up again.

“I’m sorry,” he nearly whispered.

“S’okay. Not your fault…” you shook it off. It’s in the past, it’s done.

“Not yours either,” he replied, raising a brow to you. “M’just, sorry you went through that.”

He was soft, he was gentle. You supposed he was like Tommy. He didn’t judge you or make you feel inferior because of your tragic mishappenings. He just listened, and felt sympathy.

“I don’t mind it so much now… I got her back.”

And both your gazes shifted to the sleeping teenager, her breaths steady with the humming of the night around you. She has no clue, and for now you’ll have to keep it that way.

Yeah, you think… I got her back.

It only took two weeks. Riding, eating, sleeping, and talking, rinse and repeat. There was the odd occasion of dealing with infected, but they were never in large groups, and cleared out easily.

You remembered exactly where to go when you entered the city limits, guiding them towards the college campus you once lived in as a firefly. It was almost ten years ago, but you remember it pretty well. It’s where you met Tommy. Not in the lab, obviously. You’d both been put on security detail one morning, having never met beforehand. He proceeded to ‘teach you’ how to shoot a rifle properly, only to find you could hit a perfect bullseye on your first shot. Probably because your dad was a man who loved his guns, and you’d been shooting one since you were a kid before the outbreak. He laughed about it, and you two were friends ever since.

“Are you getting any of this?” Ellie asked you, pulling you from your thoughts as you rode alongside them.

For the last hour, Joel was attempting - and failing - to explain the rules of football to the young Miss Ellie. And she didn’t understand one lick of it, not that you blame her. You’d been to actual football games in your youth, but you couldn’t get it even then.

“Nope, I was always more of a baseball fan…” you trailed, and smiled at the thought. Baseball was fun, you remember it well. It was your biggest obsession right before ballet, and right after fingerpainting.

“Oh really, now?” Joel cut in, his surprise evident in his raised eyebrow and tilted gaze in your direction.

“Yep. You’re looking at the MVP of the Acorn’s jr. little league team.”

Ellie laughed. She didn’t know a thing about baseball either. She’d seen some old collectors cards though here and there. Apparently they used to be valuable. They were only knick knacks to anyone who saw them now.

“What position did you play?”

“Shortstop… or second base, technically. No shortstop in jr. little league,” you admitted. Your dad always called you shortstop, so that’s what you tell people now. Anyone who asks, at least. You can count on one hand the number of people who have.

“Seein’ you around infected… I bet you swung like hell,” he chuckled. Ellie was still confused about the rules of the last sport, much less how to play this one… but she listened intently because Joel was interested, so she was interested too.

“I always got on base, didn’t always stay there, but always got on. Plus, I was the only kid who never picked their nose at the plate, so… Obviously I earned my title.”

“That must’ve been an amazing accomplishment. How old were you?”

From what he understood, you’d been eight on outbreak day. You couldn’t have been too much younger to have started a sport, right?

“Probably six or seven at the time. I did ballet after, had kind of a short attention span when it came to after school activities,” you explained, a smile on your cheeks when you spoke about the things you used to love doing. You probably would still like doing some of them, had they been an option in Jackson.

“I know about ballet!” Ellie jumped in, nearly scaring Joel off the horse. “That’s the dancers that used to wear those weird shoes and shit.”

“Pointe shoes?” You chuckled, more at Joel trying to compose himself than Ellie’s funny recollection of footwear.

“Yeah, those. They looked like torture devices in some of the paintings I saw… did you ever wear any?”

“No, I would have had to train for about five more years to have gotten to that point. That was the dream at the time, to be a pointe ballerina. Of course, the end of the world happened…”

Joel turned to you from his forwards facing stare, a sadness in his eyes before he looked back onto the road ahead of him. Was that… pity? You were slowly learning to read him, his little mannerisms and tells that made him like everyone else, yet just a tad different, in a way that only he could be.

“Maybe after all this is over you can teach me some steps,” she suggested, but you scoffed.

“Maybe,” you shook your head at how funny the thought sounded in your head. You’d only danced for what? Ten months at most? And as an eight year old? “I think you’ll probably be too busy with Joel’s guitar lessons.”

She laughed it off, shaking her head and leaning it back onto Joel’s shoulder in front of her. The three of you kept along until reaching the building you remembered, but instantly it was a disappointment. The fireflies weren’t here, and likely hadn’t been for over a year.

“This isn’t right. There should be a checkpoint set up and a security blockade surrounding the place,” you mentioned, getting off your horse and running up to the door in the front. You peeked inside, and there was no sign of life anywhere.

“You’re kidding,” Ellie grumbled.

Joel dismounted the horse and followed after you, looking around and trying to find any signs that they might have been here at all.

“You sure this is the right place?”

“Positive. I remember this building, I met Tommy right over there,” you pointed down the sidewalk, where a half torn down barricade of cement was still sitting, but just barely. You walked to the corner of the crumbling stairs and grabbed a piece of old broken up brick, chucking it through the front door in order to unlock it.

Joel chuckled for a moment at your frustration, watching the scene play out.

“Baseball… right,” he teased, leading the way inside with you and Ellie in tow.

Maxine’s boys were at Fedra school. Her husband was at work in a different sector. Maxine herself was trading ration cards for supplies. It was the first time she’d left the apartment since you’d been there, and of all days, of all mornings for it to happen… your water broke.

You were alone, and scared. You weren’t allowed to leave the apartment for fear of the neighbor’s suspicion. Maxine’s family would be torn apart by Fedra if anyone found out what was going on, so no matter how terrified you were, you couldn’t risk going outside for help.

“Not now,” you cried, the tension in the pit of your stomach slowly turning to pain when your first contraction started. “Please, kid, I’m begging.”

You suck down against the wall of the living room, trying to find a sitting position that doesn't kill you from the pain. You wished more than anything you had some of those pain pills left over from the exchange, but they would probably only hurt you right now.

“Please, don’t,” you tried to even your breathing, the tears crawling down your cheeks at a fastening rate. “I can’t do this…”

The walls were closing in, you weren’t prepared for this. It didn’t seem to be the right time, either… but it was happening, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it. The baby was coming, and if you wanted to live to see another day, you were going to have to get your head straight, and push it out of you.

You didn’t know how long you’d have, but from the time your water broke to the last contraction, things were moving relatively quickly. You were still on the ground against the wall, biting down on the sleeve of your shirt to try and not make noise.

You hoped and prayed that you would not deliver this baby on your own, but it looked like that was your only option right now. They had all left around an hour ago, they would be gone all day.

“I don’t know what to do, kid… help me out here,” you cried out again, but the baby didn’t exactly listen. You felt more weight bearing down on your lower half by the minute, and all you could do was panic.

It had happened so fast, the attack. Too fast, nothing you guys could have prepared for. It was all within minutes, and the ringing in your ears following your last gunshot seemed to put everything in slow motion. The way Ellie was yelling but you couldn’t hear it, the man that was coming up from behind you, and the one that was wrestling with Joel near the edge of the rail.

Too fast, the man on your rear grabbed at you and pulled backwards, keeping you from being able to stop Joel’s attacker… You got trapped in a headlock, a gun to your temple, and another man was about to get Ellie. Joel and his attacker broke through the railing, tumbling over the edge and falling into God knows what. You sunk deadweight in the man’s arms, letting Ellie shoot him with her raised gun before you shot the man coming for her.

She ran to the edge first, freezing as she looked down. You followed and peered over, unsure what you would see.

“Shit,” you lowered yourself to a sitting position before scooting off the edge and dropping down to where he was. Your voice was in a panic “Joel?”

He was alive, but fatally injured if you didn’t get him out of here right now.

“I’m gonna need you to pull,” he managed to get out through gritted teeth. His face was scrunched in pain, and you knew better than anyone how hard it was to stay quiet when you’re hurting that bad.

“You could bleed out,” you shook your head, kneeling down and flinging off your backpack. Digging through, you only have the most basic of supplies… nothing substantial enough to stop mass amounts of blood, or, worst case scenario, a deadly infection.

“Just pull, damnit,” he grunted, offering his hand.

By now Ellie had come down, watching in fear as the only figure of importance in her life was nearly on his deathbed. It couldn’t be exaggerated because it really was that bad. He could drop down at any moment and never get back up, but he kept pushing on.

You did as he asked, hoisting him to a stand, letting him lean on you for support. Ellie went on ahead, leading the way as she cleared the place with her own gun. You had to assist here and there, unwilling to let Ellie get shot on account of holding Joel up on his feet.

It was practically a miracle that any of you made it outside. Your horse had already taken care of a raider, it seemed, the man lying unconscious on the ground behind him. He likely got to close, touched him, even. Ellie shot the last obstacle standing between you and an escape, and once he was cleared, you mounted your horses, helping Joel onto his, first.

You rode in front of them, looking for a place to take shelter. Looking for an empty house, or gas station even. Anything would work, as long as it was safer than here. You rode for miles down the road, unsure if there were people in the area. You’d finally reached a neighborhood of substantial size, with no signs of life or proof of human activity.

But before you could even find a safe shelter…

“Joel? Joel!”

And you quickly turned around. Joel fell off the horse, out like a light.

Tags: @orcasoul

#joel miller #reader insert #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us #joel

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