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reasonsforhope · 2 months

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Flint, Michigan, has one of the [United States]'s highest rates of child poverty — something that got a lot of attention during the city's lead water crisis a decade ago. And a pediatrician who helped expose that lead problem has now launched a first-of-its-kind move to tackle poverty: giving every new mother $7,500 in cash aid over a year.

A baby's first year is crucial for development. It's also a time of peak poverty.

Flint's new cash transfer program, Rx Kids, starts during pregnancy. The first payment is $1,500 to encourage prenatal care. After delivery, mothers will get $500 a month over the baby's first year.

"What happens in that first year of life can really portend your entire life course trajectory. Your brain literally doubles in size in the first 12 months," says Hanna-Attisha, who's also a public health professor at Michigan State University.

A baby's birth is also a peak time for poverty. Being pregnant can force women to cut back hours or even lose a job. Then comes the double whammy cost of child care.

Research has found that stress from childhood poverty can harm a person's physical and mental health, brain development and performance in school. Infants and toddlers are more likely than older children to be put into foster care, for reasons that advocates say conflate neglect with poverty.

In Flint, where the child poverty rate is more than 50%, Hanna-Attisha says new moms are in a bind. "We just had a baby miss their 4-day-old appointment because mom had to go back to work at four days," she says...

Benefits of Cash Aid

Studies have found such payments reduce financial hardship and food insecurity and improve mental and physical health for both mothers and children.

The U.S. got a short-lived taste of that in 2021. Congress temporarily expanded the child tax credit, boosting payments and also sending them to the poorest families who had been excluded because they didn't make enough to qualify for the credit. Research found that families mostly spent the money on basic needs. The bigger tax credit improved families' finances and briefly cut the country's child poverty rate nearly in half.

"We saw food hardship dropped to the lowest level ever," Shaefer says. "And we saw credit scores actually go to the highest that they'd ever been in at the end of 2021."

Critics worried that the expanded credit would lead people to work less, but there was little evidence of that. Some said they used the extra money for child care so they could go to work.

As cash assistance in Flint ramps up, Shaefer will be tracking not just its impact on financial well-being, but how it affects the roughly 1,200 babies born in the city each year.

"We're going to see if expectant moms route into prenatal care earlier," he says. "Are they able to go more? And then we'll be able to look at birth outcomes," including birth weight and neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admissions.

Since the pandemic, dozens of cash aid pilots have popped up across the nation. But unlike them, Rx Kids is not limited to lower-income households. It's universal, which means every new mom will get the same amount of money. "You pit people against each other when you draw that line in the sand and say, 'You don't need this, and you do,' " Shaefer says. It can also stigmatize families who get the aid, he says, as happened with traditional welfare...

So far, there's more than $43 million to keep the program going for three years. Funders include foundations, health insurance companies and the state of Michigan, which allocated a small part of its federal cash aid, known as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families.

Money can buy more time for bonding with a baby

Alana Turner can't believe her luck with Flint's new cash benefits. "I was just shocked because of the timing of it all," she says.

Turner is due soon with her second child, a girl. She lives with her aunt and her 4-year-old son, Ace. After he was born, her car broke down and she was seriously cash-strapped, negotiating over bill payments. This time, she hopes she won't have to choose between basic needs.

"Like, I shouldn't have to think about choosing between are the lights going to be on or am I going to make sure the car brakes are good," she says...

But since she'll be getting an unexpected $7,500 over the next year, Turner has a new goal. With her first child, she was back on the job in less than six weeks. Now, she hopes she'll be able to slow down and spend more time with her daughter.

"I don't want to sacrifice the time with my newborn like I had to for my son, if I don't have to," she says."

-via NPR, March 12, 2024

#united states #flint michigan #michigan #cash aid #basic income #poverty #poverty relief #child poverty #mothers #pregnancy #prenatalcare #healthcare #healthcare access #public health #child development #good news #hope

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drdemonprince · 5 months

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By now, a majority of Autism researchers and clinicians are aware that the existing assessments for Autism are profoundly flawed.

They know the standard evaluation of Autism is sexist, with assessors excluding women for reasons like wearing makeup, having a boyfriend, being superficially polite, or not being fixated on suitably ‘masculine’ topics like ancient Roman history or barometric pressure.

They know Autism evaluations are racist, deeming Black Autistics “oppositionally defiant” or even “borderline” rather than acknowledging any social alienation or sensory pain they’re experiencing, and believing they must be overstating the difficulty they face in moving through the world.

And they certainly know that conventional Autism measures weren’t designed with adult Autistics in mind. Many of us are still asked to make up stories based on paintings of frogs in a toddler’s picture book, when we sit down for assessments at age 20, or 30, or 45 — because all the evaluation methods were written for young kids.

The data has already proven the far-reaching consequences of using such shoddy measures of Autism. People of color, gender minorities, older adults, and women are diagnosed at later ages, and also go undiagnosed at massive rates.

A growing population of scientists are admittedly interested in fostering a new literature of what they call “patient-driven” Autism research, but they never stop thinking of us as mere patients, the passive receivers of care rather than the leaders of communities and political movements who are the ought to be the primary authors of the studies about us, and the sole determinants of what our desired outcomes should be. Even when they observe that their work could benefit from a greater Autistic perspective, researchers do so from closed rooms, filled with other professionals who are largely not Autistic, wondering amongst themselves what it is that we want instead of learning to quiet their voices and follow our lead.

Though many basically well-intentioned Autism researchers believe that Autism assessments need reform, what neurodiversity really needs is to abandon the diagnostic process altogether. If Autism is a benign, neutral, naturally occurring form of human difference that requires acceptance rather than a cure, then there’s no need to diagnose it as if it were a sickness. And if hundreds of thousands of Autistic women, people of color, queer people, and older people have been able to give a voice to ourselves and find one another without having ever been given a label by a professional, then improved professional labeling is not what we need.

Autistic self-realization is the future of Autism assessment. We hold the collective wisdom, organizing ability, insight, and political power to define who we are. No authority figure should have to sign off on our identities.

Because psychiatrists fail to diagnose such a large percentage of the Autistic population, many Autism researchers now accept self-identified Autistic adults within their subject pool. Within the peer-reviewed journal Autism in Adulthood, self-realized Autistics often make up the bulk of the participant sample, and they have repeatedly been found to be indistinguishable from their formally diagnosed peers.

A growing body of research now also considers the presence of Autism-spectrum traits as qualifying for inclusion in many Autism studies. The data makes it quite obvious that Autistic people exist within all human groups, spread all throughout the world, and that a great many people have experiences in common with us who have not been formally diagnosed. This itself reveals that a formal diagnosis is hardly necessary, and that a psychiatric paradigm of accepting self-identification is inevitable. The researchers are increasingly already doing it.

You can read the full essay for free (or have it narrated to you!) at this link.

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bitchy-craft · 10 months

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How September Will Go For You | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out how September will go for you. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people; therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist > Questions > Paid Readings

Pick A Pile!

Pile 1:

Your pile suggests that September is going to be a month of adventure and exciting opportunities. You might find yourself presented with new oppertunities for growth, this can go from work oppertunities to the possibility to gain more friends. The energy surrounding you is dynamic and enthusiastic, and is urging you to step out of your comfort zone, so make sure to try whenever you have the oppertunity to do so.

Embrace change and be open to trying new things, as these experiences could lead to unexpected and rewarding outcomes. This is going to be a month to seize the moment for you, make sure to use the most of the vibrant energy that surrounds you.

Pile 2:

Your September will be all about self-care and introspection. You should make sure to take time for yourself during this period, something that might be incredibly needed for some of you (even if it isn't a life or death situation, self care is always important). For you, this will be a month for deep reflection, where you might assess your goals, desires, and the direction you're heading in.

Embrace opportunities for personal growth and transformation. Let go of any negativity or habits that no longer serve you. Maybe try put something new like journaling, or meditation, find inner-peace. By nurturing your own well-being, you'll be better equipped to navigate any challenges that may arise in your life.

Pile 3:

Within your choice your pile tells you to focus on social connections and collaborations throughout September. This is the perfect time to strengthen your social circle, maybe even widen it, since your interactions with others could prove to be highly beneficial in the near future.

You might find that team efforts can give you a ton positive results. As said before, make sure to strengthen existing relationships and foster new connections. This month encourages you to communicate openly, to share ideas and work together to achieve common goals. By embracing this collaborative energy, you'll likely experience positive developments and shared successes.

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babyangelsky · 3 months

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BL Challenge 2k24 ✨Day 7✨

Hello and welcome to @negrowhat's 15 Day BL Challenge! Full challenge can be found here.

Favorite Villain: Korn Theerapanyakul

It isn't often that we get an actual villain in a BL. We have plenty of love rivals but those are rarely ever villains in the true sense of the word. We also have a large, unfortunate array of shitty parents and parental figures, some of which absolutely do fall into the villain category, but they don't deserve my effort or your attention.

But then we have Korn.

Korn is a villain. Make absolutely no mistake about that. This man has dedicated his life to playing 4D chess with everyone around him, including and especially his sons, and he's brilliant at it. There is never a moment where he isn't in control, there is never a moment where he hasn't thought at least five steps ahead, and he has very few blind spots.

What gets me—and what makes him that much more insidious in my opinion—is how he presents himself to the world.

♡ gif by @guzhufuren from this set

"This man, a villain? Never! He's just a nice, soft-spoken dad in a sweater vest! Sure he's a bit intimidating but he's in the mafia, it's to be expected. And just look at how accepting he is of his gay sons! He's looking at a photo of his son and his son-in-law and smiling, isn't that lovely?"

False!

Korn's image is perfectly curated and if you only look on the surface, from the outside that's exactly what he is: a nice dad and a respectable businessman. He's rational, calm, and level-head, especially when you compare him to Gun—which you can't not do. It's impossible to have a conversation about Korn without talking about Gun, who is absolutely just as bad and who I easily could've chosen.

The difference is that Gun's evil is overt and in a way, it's more...honest because of it. He's not out here pretending to be a good person or trying to be anything other than exactly what he is. What you see is what you get. However, I chose Korn precisely because of that insidiousness, because his evil appears so much more subtle but only when it remains in the shadows.

♡ gif by @kinnbig from this set

Because when everything gets brought to light? Hoooooo BOY.

This man kept his foster sister in isolation under lock and key for years after he killed her husband and took her away from her two little boys. Then he left those little boys in the care of a degenerate gambler and watched them sink further and further into debt. And that's only the thin end of the wedge! If we got into all the ways he fucked up his OWN boys, we'd be here all damn day.

Kidnapping on perhaps more than one occasion, a hit squad, Kim's entire personality, Kinn's emotional range, need I go on?

But getting back to Porsche and Chay, Korn could've helped them at literally any point but he didn't lift a finger until they grew up and became useful to him. He could've cleared their debts, paid for Chay's education, provided for them, kept them from getting remotely close to a situation were men were beating them and trashing their home. But he did exactly none of that because whatever sense of obligation Korn might have felt toward them absolutely pales in comparison to his need for control.

♡ gif by @kinnbig from this set

That's what this all comes down to: control. The world is a chessboard and everyone in Korn's orbit is a piece on it. He proposed an outcome for himself and he got it.

He made sure Kinn was cemented as head of the main family and found a way to cement Porsche as head of the minor family. He got rid of Gun and the threat he presented and succeeded in burying the truth of what happened to Porsche's parents with him, because the truth that Korn gave simply is not the whole truth. It never will be because divulging the truth means giving up control, and that is something he will never do.

I could literally talk for hours about Korn. He's a fascinating character. He's got so many layers. Bottom line?

Este señor es el mismísimo diablo. This man is the living breathing devil.

#BLChallenge2k24 #korn theerapanyakul #kinnporsche

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silica · 30 days

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Tarot • pick a pile • general reading

Something positive about yourself that you’re not appreciated fully

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Pile 1

Pile 2

Pile 3

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Please pick the image or pile that you feel drawn to the most!

Pile 1

Practical minded, strong mature feminine energy, emotional connection and duality. You know how to take care of yourself and others.

Pile 1, I believe you have more balance within yourself than you realise. I get the vibe that you may consider yourself as more polarised in terms of your personality traits and capabilities than you actually are. You’re got a positive sense of duality within your energy. Not ignorant of your emotions regarding things but ultimately very practical minded. Perhaps paying more mind to all your aspects will make you feel more whole in a way. As this variety in your traits is something you’ve not fully appreciated yet. You’re also a lot better at fostering connections with others than you realise.

Pile 2

Strong emotional fortitude. A sense of grounded optimism and confidence. Talented and competent.

Pile 2, I feel like you don’t appreciate how solid your ability to lock in and get the things done that need to be done is. You have a good sense of optimism to you, and it’s not a naive or toxic kind, you have a very real grasp of yourself and how to consider things in a positive manner. ‘The glass may be half full right now, but I will work to make sure it becomes filled.’ You’re competent at what you do and I hope you realise that. You’re also a lot better at balancing your emotional processing than you realise. Even when things get tough, you persevere, stand firm and still continue onwards. Steady growth wins the race.

Pile 3

Visionary, optimistic and enthusiasm. Looking past the veil. Unwavering love of your life. Strong direction and hopes.

Pile 3, you’re quite the optimist. You look ahead towards the brighter things in life and don’t loose sight of your hopes and aspirations. There is an unwavering hope in you, it still stands strong no matter what has happened to you before. You’re willing to grow and try again even after hardships. You see past the darkness of life even when it seems all encompassing. I fear you may have diminished this aspect of yourself to become more conscious of other people around you, who may tend towards more pessimistic attitudes. A little realism is helpful, but wanting to aim for the best possible outcome is nowhere near foolish. You’re better at making decisions than you realise, I feel you may second guess yourself a lot, and the cards want to remind you that you’re in good hands: your own.

#my readings #tarot #general reading #tarot reading #tarot pick a pile

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talonabraxas · 28 days

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Embarking on the Year of the Wood Dragon means tapping into an era where your innate strengths and leadership qualities flourish. The Wood Dragon symbolises power and vitality, imbued with both growth and the nurturing and flexible qualities of the wood element.

Being among the Chinese zodiac animals, the dragon represents a commanding presence, and as a yang wood sign, it encourages you to pursue your aspirations with vigor and resilience.

The dragon represents transformation, delivering support during periods of transition. It stands for unity and freedom, helping people on their journey towards deeper understanding. Drawing on the dragon’s meaning can bring a feeling of security and strength, fostering sound judgement and a caring insight into the natural progression of life.

As we go through the Year of the Wood Dragon, may we draw inspiration from the dragon’s qualities to welcome change, seek out nurturing relationships, and have the courage to be true to ourselves.

Your charismatic nature is set to shine, attracting prosperity and abundance. The Wood Dragon’s influence suggests a period ripe for initiating fresh endeavors, grounded in creativity and confidence.

The Auspicious Dragon in China

According to the Chinese, the dragon is a symbol of auspiciousness, embodying authority and honour. This respected symbol in Chinese culture weaves through the tapestry of Chinese mythology, representing power, strength, and wisdom. A dragon year brings growth and achievement for those who embrace its spirit.

Here are three ways the Dragon’s auspicious significance can manifest in your life:

1.Prosperity: The Wood Dragon, a symbol of imperial power, is associated with wealth and abundance. This year could unlock doors to financial stability and growth, safeguarding your future.

2.Wisdom: Chinese dragons are emblems of intelligence and leadership. You’re empowered to make decisions with foresight and clarity, building a foundation for long-term success.

3.Favorable Circumstances: In the Chinese horoscope for 2024, the alignment of the stars promises favorable outcomes. Initiatives you undertake are more likely to flourish, providing a secure path forward.

Embark on a magnificent journey through the Year of the Wood Dragon, where growth and vitality unfold at every turn. Let the dragon’s energy guide your path as you fearlessly chase your dreams, fueled by boundless creativity and unwavering courage.

Chinese Wood Dragon 🐉 Talon Abraxas

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rachelbethhines · 1 month

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Five Tangled AUs I'll Never Write Because I Don't Have The Time

1. Eugene gets adopted by Quirin instead of going to the orphanage.

He still becomes Flynn Rider and rescues Rapunzel from the tower, but his turn to crime is due to a falling out between him and his dad after his and Varian's mom disappears under mysterious circumstances.

Quirin is keeping secrets, and thier relationship is strained, but after meeting Rapunzel, Eugene is trying to mend that relationship with him... Only for the amber incident to cut that short.

Obviously the biggest change here is that Eugene and Varian are brothers, so Varian isn't left alone after the snow storm. Rather, Eugene is trying to protect Varian from King Frederic while also trying to stay in his future father-in-law's good graces... All while dealing with his own grief.

This drastically changes the conflict and outcome of season one. Forcing Rapunzel to confront her father directly and own up to his misdeeds, and brings Varian along on the season two road trip.

Also Eugene has even less reason to accept Edmund because Quirin is the man who raised him and is his 'real dad' for all intents and purposes.

Also, thier mom, Ulla, being trapped by Zan Tiri and finally escaping would be a major plot point in season three.

2. Digimon AU

Rapunzel, Eugene, Cassandra, Varian, Lance, Styalan, and Caine are all college students who get sucked into the digital world.

They each get their own digimon and must face off against the seven digimon demon lords in order to return home, and in doing so confront their own worse vices.

Rapunzel's digimon is Coronamon. She is The Leader of the group and her element is Fire/Light/Sun. Her nemesis is Belphemon, and her main vice is Sloth. Because she keeps avoiding her problems by chasing after frivolous pursuits. Such as standing up to her abusive mother Gothel, or dealing with her responsibilities as the leader of her team.

Eugene’s partner is Kudamon. He’s The Mediator of the group. The voice of reason and common sense. His elemental is Wind. His nemesis is Lucemon, and his main vice is Pride, for his uses vanity to compensate for his low self esteem born from growing up in the foster system.

Cassandra’s digimon is Lunamon, and her rival is Leviamon. Her fatal flaw is Envy, for she’s jealous of Rapunzel. She’s The Second in Command; because she offers a counter balance to Rapunzel’s way of doing things, but they butt heads often. Her element is Darkness/Moon.

Varian is The Brains of the outfit. His digimon is Labramon, who can change to either a vaccine or virus upon evolution. However his main thematic element is Electricity. His nemesis is Daemon and his vice is Wrath. As the youngest in the group, he often feels unheard and will lash out in anger.

Lance is The Heart of the team, as he’s forever the optimist. His digimon is Otamamon and his element is Water. His rival is Beelzemon, and his fatal flaw is Gluttony, for he never had enough growing up in the foster care system, therefore he shows no restraint when given opportunities, even if it means hurting someone else.

Caine is The Muscle of the group. Her digimon, Goblimon, is a heavy hitter when he digivoles, and she’s the most likely to throw a punch against a monster on her own. Her enemy is Barbamon, and her vice is Greed. She’s criminal on the run for theft, but it’s a life she feels she was forced into. Her element is Metal/Ground.

Stalyan is The Chick, for lack of a better trope term. She’s daddy’s spoiled little rich girl who is in for a rude wake up call when she gets to the Digital World. Her digimon is Floramon and her element is Grass. Her rival is Laylamon and her fatal flaw is Lust. She’s in love with Eugene, but he doesn’t return her feelings. Her obsession with him, is tied to her own insecurities and desires for being accepted.

3. Prince Varian

Varian is Rapunzel’s little brother. He’s actually Arianna and Quirin’s son, but Frederic raised him as his own. Both are ignorant of Varian’s true parentage, with Varian just believing Quirin is his bodyguard/mentor.

Yet with the return of his long lost sister Varian feels even more out of place with in the Castle and keeps sneaking off to Old Corona to visit Quirin, who is now a retired knight, and to work on his experiments in secret.

Only the truth comes out after a horrible lab accident that traps Quirin in amber, and now Varian doesn’t know where he belongs.

4. Eugene is raised by Hector

Horace knows who he is and his duty to keep the moonstone safe. He has rarely traveled beyond the great tree. But he begins to question his entire place in the world when a group of travelers come in search of his family's treasure, with one of them claiming to be the living embodiment of the fabled Sundrop.

Since Eugene/Horace never left the Great Tree, he never became Flynn Rider, never stole the crown, and never met Rapunzel in the tower.

This means Rapunzel never leaves on her 18th birthday to see the lights, but her tower is destroyed by the black rocks six months later. Leaving her and Mother Gothel without a home.

While in search of a new place to live they meet, Varian, who is trying to figure out the mystery of the rocks, Cassandra, who is searching for the lost princess to prove her worth to her dad, and Lance, a thief who offers to be their guide in order to hide from the Stabbingtons who he owes money too.

The five of them go on a quest to find the moonstone when Varian shows them the piece of his father's scroll (who is not trapped in amber this time) much to the discouragement/disapproval of Mother Gothel.

Gothel tries to dismiss the legends of the moonstone while keeping her and Rapunzel's identities secret. (Everyone figures out she's the Sundrop/connected to the rocks right away, but not that's she's the lost princess) But as she can't be too far away from her precious flower for too long she gets dragged on the quest anyways.

Cue Gothel reluctantly becoming everyone's mama as she tries to keep them alive and convince Raps to give up this silly quest and find a new home, while also not letting it slip that she's really Cass's birth mother, nor the thief of the long lost princess, nor an ancient sorceress who betrayed a powerful demon in order to have eternal youth and said demon could come back to kill them all if released by the Sundrop touching the Moonstone.

Basically what I'm getting at is we have a scenario where a manipulative asshole who is desperately just trying to survive while not being caught in her web of lies, is slowly coming to care for a bunch of snot-nosed, bratty, insecure teenagers, and she hates it!

This also means that by the time the gang reaches the Great Tree, Rapunzel's and Eugene's roles are reversed. She's the experienced adventurer using him, though unintentionally on her part, to get what she wants, while unexpectedly falling in love, and he's the sheltered shut in who discovers that there's more to the world.

And just to complicate matters, King Frederic, Quirin, and Adria, team up to invade The Dark Kingdom in order to destroy the moonstone with Adria's sword. Quirin betraying his brother Edmund because he thinks Varian is dead from the rocks having destroyed their village/castle in the night.

5. Cassandra is the Dark Princess

I mean, I think this should have been cannon anyways, but Cassandra and Eugene are long lost siblings. Both are heirs to the Dark Kingdom and it's their mom who is left alive to guard the Moonstone.

Said Mom thought they were both lost when the kingdom fell, not knowing that their nurse saved them on the night Edmund went mad.

The Queen convinces Cassandra that protecting the moonstone from the Sundrop is her duty, believing that both coming together will destroy the world. Not realizing that Cass would actually grab it away from Raps in their fight over it and become possessed by Zahn Tiri in the process.

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #rapunzel #varian #eugene fitzherbert #cassandra #lance strongbow #caine #stalyan

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bbcphile · 9 months

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Today, I’m crying about Li Xiangyi’s childhood, the way it taught him that losing meant he didn’t deserve to exist, and how that governed his response to the East Sea battle ten years earlier and to all the revelations at the end of the show.

Li Xiangyi obviously loves his shifu and shiniang, and they definitely loved him, too, given that his shifu wanted him to focus more on enjoying life and less on changing the world and obtaining victories, and given that his shifu sacrificed himself to try to save Xiangyi and his shiniang wanted to. So, his childhood with them definitely had more love, support, stability, and learning opportunities than his earlier life, which features such traumas as seeing his mom murdered in front of him, living on the streets starting at age 4, watching his older brother die in front of him and then forgetting his older brother existed, probably from traumatic amnesia/dissociation. That being said, though, his shiniang and shifu made some truly horrific decisions that caused some epic problems for both Li Xiangyi and Shan Gudao! It’s not just that they withheld incredibly important knowledge about Xiangyi’s early life and background from him (who his parents were, why they were murdered, that he had an older brother, the secret of his heritage)--although wow, that is a terrible way to raise a traumatized child–it’s also that they fostered competition instead of caring, both with the children they raised and between each other. I’m thinking in particular of the fact that, once shiniang and shifu separated, they each took a child (based on drawing lots) and had Xiangyi and Shan Gudao fight once a month to determine not just which kid was the better martial artist, but which adult was a better teacher, and, by extension, parent and person!

That last thing is just so infuriating and, frankly, abusive: it makes each kid think competition and winning is how affection is earned, and that any sort of mistake or loss or failure is the absolute end of the world, because you’re never just letting yourself down or not reaching your potential: you are proving that you don’t deserve their care and affection. It also taught Xiangyi that he was responsible for their caregiver’s happiness and reputation, and once you have that kind of overdeveloped sense of responsibility as a child, you carry it through into every aspect of your life, because you don’t know any other way of being. No wonder Xiangyi thought he carried the world on his shoulders: growing up, the mountain home/training center was his world–since it seems like he didn’t have interactions with anyone else until he left the mountain at age 15–so he had been carrying that belief for at least a decade without having seen any other models of ways to exist.

Also, we know Xiangyi thinks he owes his shiniang and shifu for having brought him into their family: having that added sense of debt makes everything so much worse, because he essentially thinks he owes his entire existence to them. It seems like Xiangyi felt like he had to win the competitions to prove he deserved to be there, but also to prove he deserved to exist.

For his early life, he only felt the positive side of this expectation, because he never lost, since his martial arts skills were so much stronger than Shan Gudao’s. He was unintentionally primed to assume the outcome was a foregone conclusion, because he didn’t have any real challengers. This also hammered home the idea that he was right about things, that he should call the shots, and that collaboration wasn’t really relevant to his life, since it wasn’t as if his shifu taught Xiangyi and Shan Gudao how to fight side by side to defeat other opponents. Losing seemed like something that happened to other people (namely, Shan Gudao), and given the emphasis his shifu and shiniang placed on the competitions, I imagine winning time after time was more than just an adrenaline rush; it was positive reinforcement that he deserved the good things that had come his way, had repaid the debt he owed his shiniang and shifu, and would continue to earn love, respect, a family, a home, and a right to exist.

But when he lost? When he had never had a model for what losing safely feels like? (When the only times he lost were when he lost deliberately to try to cheer up Shan Gudao, but was berated for it, and told it was shameful and wrong to throw a fight for any reason, so losing becomes even more associated with shame?) When losing wasn’t a way to learn, but a sign that he might lose his love, his family, his home? What happens when the scaffolding upholding his right to exist—his ability to win—comes crashing down?

Suicidal ideation. Because he lost not only the battle with Di Feisheng, but also his shixiong, his shixiong’s body, his fiancee, the lives of his men, his reputation, his new home (the Sigu sect), and being able-bodied. In short, he lost everything part of him always feared he’d lose and then some. So why would he think he still has a right to exist, after that? How could he believe someone telling him it wasn’t his fault, when all he has ever known is that the responsibility for everyone he cares for lies with him?

(I feel like it’s really telling that he didn’t go back to his shiniang’s or shifu’s home after everything went to hell; he said it was because he had been unfilial and couldn’t bear to go back after his shifu died, but it also seems like, given that he had lost everything else, he felt like he didn’t deserve the comfort, family, and home it represented, so staying away is his punishment.)

Given all this, it makes total sense that Li Lianhua wants so desperately to think of Li Xiangyi as dead: he can’t actually reconcile being alive and having failed. So he tries to create a new persona that doesn’t want to be the best in the jianghu or thrive on praise and responsibility, while he tries to correct what he thinks of as his mistakes, before he dies of Bicha poisoning.

He tries to live the life his shifu wanted for him, where he enjoys pleasures like wine, food, relaxation, and growing things instead of focusing on making a name for himself or winning, and he tries to stay away from people, attachments, and love, because you can’t lose them again if you don’t have them to begin with.

But of course, saying someone is a different person doesn’t make it so. He still wants to be the best–the best physician, the best at scheming, the best at detective work–because he still doesn’t actually know how to be any other way. So he still has the same problems as Li Xiangyi: he still withholds information and commands more than collaborates (it’s frankly amazing he works as well with Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as he does), still has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility (he believes he has to be the one to save those he cares about and stop everyone else, whether Shan Gudao or the emperor), and at the end, is still suicidal (because now he thinks he’s responsible for the death of his shifu, for not seeing Shan Gudao’s plot, and probably in some warped way for the Nanyin situation once he learns the truth of his heritage, because the man has never met a situation he can’t take the blame for).

It doesn’t surprise me at all that Li Lianhua doesn’t fully get how much he means to Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing at the end, or that he thinks they just want their version of Li Xiangyi: he can’t imagine being loved and still having made a mistake.

#mysterious lotus casebook #mysterious lotus casebook meta #li xiangyi #li lianhua #tw: suicide #Shan Gudao #I had more to say about how LXY loses everything once and decides he deserves nothing #while Shan Gudao lost every day for a decade and decided he deserved everything #and how both maladaptive coping strategies are from the absurd competition they grew up with #but it was already too long #so it's going here #some day I will actually finish my fics and post them #but for now it's meta time

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fosteringinsc · 1 year

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The Power of Social Connections: Nurturing Positive Relationships for Youth in Transition

The Power of Social Connections: Nurturing Positive Relationships for Youth in Transition. In today’s digital age, where social media and online interactions dominate our lives, it’s easy to overlook the significance of genuine social connections. However, for youth in foster care transitioning to adulthood, the lack of permanent relationships with positive adults can have profound consequences.…

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#Building lasting relationships #Challenges for foster youth #Continuity in placements #Emancipation and autonomy #Establishing trust #Impact of social connections on outcomes #Lack of social connections #Mentoring programs #Positive adult relationships #Supportive adult supporters #Transition planning for foster youth #Transition to adulthood #Youth in foster care

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class1akids · 8 days

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The way toga grief towards losing jin was sidelined and how uraraka never really comfort toga about jin was kinda weird to me

Yeah - this is why I'm not as big a fan of that fight as the whole fandom seems to be.

The PLF war confrontation between Toga and Ochako centered on the question of "who gets save by the heroes?" mirroring Ochako's question of "who saves the heroes". And then the answer Ochako gives "girl, even if that's what pleases you, you can't just go around killing people and expect no consequences" (which is valid, but is not exactly a response to Toga's question) pushes Toga further into grief.

Then Toga makes another attempt - this time with Deku and asks "what you want to do with me" and Deku's response "I can't imagine being like you - hurting the ones you claim to love" further escalates Toga.

And I think here the fight shifts away a bit from Toga's grief and more towards validating her own way of being. Or rather in a way, the two is conflated into the same: Jin got killed because his quirk was judged too dangerous and he wouldn't back down.

So I guess Ochako's attempts to understand her make Toga feel like a "person" who is not just to be stopped, but also seen as a human being. But in the end, Ochako is just one person and her calling Toga's smile pretty will not solve all the systemic issues around toxic quirk counselling, the way dangerous quirks are treated from childhood, the pressure to conform, the lack of mental care for people like Jin, the way the marginalized or poor are treated, families that disown their "difficult children". And I think the outcome of the fight recognizes that as Toga stays suicidal and says that the world as is doesn't work for her but the destruction doesn't make her happy either.

So even if Toga is "saved", she feels like her only option is to die and Ochako is clearly not happy with this outcome (btw, I still think Toga will live). There is no alternative for them, because Toga and Ochako are just two "normal teenage girls" with limited tools and the world they live in doesn't foster that understanding. Ochako reached and saved Toga's soul on a personal level, but in the grand scheme of things, nothing changed (yet).

I feel like this is maybe the outcome of all 3 fights - Toga's, Toya's and Tenko's "inner child" all got a moment of acceptance / relief they needed, but in the end, a bunch of teenagers reaching out in empathy can only go so far if the systemic issues have not been addressed.

And if Hori puts some effort into these issues in the epilogue - it can tie together quite well. Toga's and Uraraka's story can touch the heart of people to start to think about quirk discrimination and it could inspire people with the real power (like Hawks for example, if he becomes like the head of HPSC) to make changes to crucial aspects of how society works with buy-in from the public opinion.

I definitely feel like the narrative would let both the LoV Trio and the Savior squad down if everything stayed the same. But if the villains' issues become something the hero kids deeply care about on a broader level, their efforts can ignite a change. Then something good can come out of the confrontations, something important that can reach a new common ground between "destruction" and "bringing it all back".

#c1a asks #uraraka ochako #toga himiko #lov trio #saviour squad #bnha meta

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justinspoliticalcorner · 1 month

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Trudy Ring at The Advocate:

President Joe Biden’s administration has moved to protect LGBTQ+ and intersex children in foster care, ordering, among other things, that they be placed in supportive homes. The protections come in the form of a rule finalized Tuesday by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and its Administration for Children and Families. It was proposed last September.

“This final rule makes clear that all children in the child welfare system, including LGBTQI+ children, are entitled to protections against harassment, abuse, and mistreatment, regardless of their placement,” says an HHS press release. “Additionally, this final rule specifies that as part of meeting the existing statutory requirement to provide safe and proper care for all children in foster care, state child welfare agencies must ensure that LGBTQI+ children have access to specially designated foster care placements.” To be considered a designated placement for LGBTQ+ and intersex children, the provider must commit to establishing an environment that supports the child’s status or identity; and be trained with the appropriate knowledge and skills to provide for the needs of the child related to the child's self-identified sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression; and facilitate the child’s access to age- or developmentally appropriate resources, services, and activities that support their health and well-being.

The rule doesn’t require any care provider to become a designated placement for LGBTQ+ and intersex children, nor does it penalize providers who don't wish to receive this designation, but it does require that state and tribal child welfare agencies offer enough of these placements to accommodate the children who need them. LGBTQ+ and intersex children are overrepresented in the foster care system, face more bullying and harassment than their straight and cisgender peers, and have significantly worse outcomes, HHS notes.

The Biden Administration moves to protect LGBTQ+ children placed in foster care and be placed in supporting homes where possible.

#LGBTQ+#LGBTQ+ Rights #HHS #Department of Health and Human Services #LGBT Adoption #LGBT Parenting #Adoption #Parenting #Foster Care

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keroanya · 1 year

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various! jjba adopting a cat (or more) with reader!

Warnings: None! just cats. possible ooc, very self indulgent^^

Notes: (C/N) is cat name^^

i NEED to adopt several cats with my self-proclaimed babygirls.

Jotaro Kujo

At first, he was a bit upset about bringing a cat into the house. Don’t get him wrong, he absolutely loves animals! He’s just a bit concerned with taking care of the furry friend.

Over the first week or so, he doesn’t interact much with the cat, even though they are actively trying to get his attention at all hours of the day by pawing at his legs.

After this first week, he does slowly start to warm up to the little furball. You were quite shocked to see him snuggled up in bed with the cat splayed across his lap.

“(C/N), that’s my spot.”

The cat ended up on the floor, but they made their way back into his lap once you were both asleep.

----

During his time in Morioh, he definitely showed some pictures of his cat to Josuke.

In his temporary office in Morioh, the three pictures he had on his desk were you, a family picture (you, the cat, and him), and him with the stardust crusaders.

As much as he said in the beginning that he wouldn’t enjoy the cat’s company, he truly does love your fur child.

I don’t think he would want a second cat. His viewpoint behind it is that if (C/N) starts showing signs that he needs more feline company, then he will talk to you about getting another cat.

Leone Abbacchio

Just like jotaro, he’s weary of having a cat at first.

His general annoyance towards the fluffball was amplified when (c/n) accidentally knocked a bottle of wine off the counter…

Luckily you were able to catch the bottle before it hit the floor. Congrats! You prevented a horrible outcome.

It would take a lot longer for Leone to become somewhat close with (C/N), probably a month or two (or even three).

After that time, your favorite goth man becomes inseparable from (C/N)

He definitely showed the whole gang the cat.

The whole gang definitely did not come over to have dedicated (C/N) play time.

During a session of bucci-gang-cat-time, Bruno brought up the idea of adopting another cat for (C/N) spend time with

You both loved the idea, and stopped at the animal shelter the next time you could.

risotto nero

He was the one who brought the cat home in the first place.

“I’m sorry, I stopped by a shelter and the techs said this cat was going to get put down, their name is (C/N)”

Literally such an absolute sweetheart (long live animal lover ris headcanons)

You both spend nights curled up in bed with (C/N) sleeping at the foot of the bed.

About a year after adopting (C/N), you both decided to start fostering kittens that needed help at shelters

The best sight in the world is seeing a buff, goth man bottle feeding several kittens while whispering how they’re doing so amazing.

Of course, with fostering comes the adoptions of the kittens.

When his first litter of kittens he raised got adopted, you could’ve sworn you saw small tears escape his eyes.

The next litter of kittens after that, he kept a bonded pair.

Specializes in helping special needs kittens. One of the cats in the aforementioned bonded pair was actually deaf.

Definitely has a shirt that says “cat dad” on it

Proscuitto saw him wearing the shirt one time when coming over, he absolutely laughed his ass off.

Risotto was NOT happy.

#jjba x reader #vic writes #jjba x gn reader #jjba x yn #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #leone abbacchio #leone abbachio x reader #abbachio leone #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 26 days

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By: Joseph Figliolia and Leor Sapir

Published: May 14, 2024

Ted Hudacko’s fate was sealed when his son’s court-appointed counsel, Daniel Harkins, wrote in his notes, “[t]hese parents have a choice, they can either continue to believe that they should be in total control of their child’s life or they can come to an understanding that those days are past . . . and give their children some independence and the ability to make some of their own decisions.”

The decisions in question? Whether to start Hudacko’s trans-identified 16-year-old son on a puberty-blocker regimen, followed by a course of estrogen.

As Abigail Shrier recounted in a 2022 City Journal investigative report, shortly after returning from a trip to New York with their two sons, Hudacko’s wife, Christine, told him that she wanted a divorce—and that their oldest son identified as transgender. During divorce proceedings, the presiding judge, Joni Hiramoto, granted Hudacko shared legal and physical custody of his youngest, but stripped him of all custody of his trans-identified son. Hudacko was concerned about administering experimental drugs and preferred to wait and see if his son’s gender issues might resolve on their own, as usually happens in such cases. To the California judge, this confirmed his unfitness as a father.

Hiramoto’s view is shared by a growing social movement bent on deeming parents “abusive” for declining to “affirm” their child’s “gender identity.” The idea that failing to endorse a child’s identity constitutes psychological abuse has spread across major American institutions and power centers and is reflected in recent court precedent, school “social transition” policies, journal publications, and several proposed state laws. Illinois’s House Bill 4876, for example, would redefine child abuse to include denying minors “necessary medical . . . gender-affirming services,” meaning parents who take a more cautious approach to their child’s dysphoria—an approach endorsed by a growing number of European countries—could become targets of investigation by the Illinois Department of Children and Families, with some even losing custody.

The Biden administration is seeking to entrench this redefinition of “abuse” with its recently published foster-care regulations. Guided by misleading characterizations and omissions of existing research, the new rules from the Administration for Children and Families (ACF) enshrine activist talking points about what constitutes a child’s “best interest,” with dire implications for foster children and parents alike.

Under the new rules, state agencies must follow specific protocols when placing “LGBTQI+” foster children in residential settings. Given what the ACF describes as the “specific needs” of these children, the agency requires federally funded providers to qualify as “Designated Placements” to serve such youth. To obtain this designation, providers must undergo specialized gender-identity and sexual-orientation training, facilitate access to “age- or developmentally appropriate resources, services, and activities that support the [child’s] health and well-being,” and “commit to establishing an environment that supports the child’s LGBTQI+ status or identity.” State foster agencies, to get federal funds, must develop and submit to the ACF case plans that ensure each child is placed in the most “appropriate setting available.”

Repeating popular activist talking points, the ACF claims that refusing to use a child’s chosen name and pronouns is linked with poor mental-health outcomes. The agency then follows a familiar pattern of citing self-reported survey data to show a supposed connection between “gender affirmation” and positive mental-health outcomes in trans-identifying kids. Surveys of this kind, however, cannot support the ACF’s conclusion that “significant mental health disparities” facing “LGBTQI+” youth “result from experiences of stigma and discrimination.”

One of the ACF’s sources, a research brief from the Trevor Project, claims that “LGBTQ youth” who say they have been in foster care had nearly three times greater odds than non-foster youth of reporting a past-year suicide attempt (notably, the final rules incorrectly cite the wrong Trevor Project survey for this claim instead of the correct survey cited in the proposed rules). The agency’s purpose in citing this study is to imply that youth suicidality is driven by how foster parents deal with the “gender identity” of those in their care. But the correlation has an alternative explanation: Youth who enter the foster system have more adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) than do non-foster children, a fact linked to increased suicidality. It’s possible that foster youth with more ACEs and higher suicidality are also more likely to adopt a transgender identity as a maladaptive coping mechanism. This makes sense, given the weakness of the “minority stress” hypothesis and the mounting evidence of elevated rates of co-occurring, suicidality-linked conditions in trans-identified populations that predate their trans-identification.

The U.K.’s recent Cass report bolsters this view. In that review, foster youth were overrepresented in the first clinical cohort seen at the nation’s gender-identity clinic, with nearly a quarter of referrals having spent time in foster care. A systematic review cited in the report found that among children referred to gender clinics, maternal mental illness (53 percent) and substance abuse (49 percent), paternal mental illness (38 percent) and substance use (38 percent), and combined neglect and abuse (11 percent to 67 percent), were very common—meaning that kids at the clinic likely had a higher-than-average number of ACEs, and may have identified as transgender as a coping mechanism.

A different survey question in the same ACF-cited brief tries to establish that trans-identified foster youth are “kicked out, abandoned, or run away” at disproportionate rates because of their “gender identity.” The survey question, though, conflates running away with being kicked out or abandoned; the actual reason for running away is not specified, and the results are not reported separately for each item. The group even disclaimed that its “data isn’t [sic] able to establish whether youth were kicked out, abandoned, or ran away prior to, during, or after being in foster care.” All we can conclude from this survey is that youth in foster care, who, for whatever reason, experience dissociation from their bodies or their sex are more likely to report negative family experiences compared with their peers.

Apparently unphased by these issues, the ACF used another Trevor Project survey to justify the agency’s claim that living in supportive homes results in fewer suicide attempts among trans-identified youth. Significantly, though, the Trevor Project report does not define the term “support,” effectively leaving it up to the child respondents to define it for themselves. Based on the most common ways youth in a separate item self-reported feeling supported—having parents use the correct names and pronouns, and supporting their gender expression—however, it seems reasonable to conclude that the respondents often conceive of “support” as affirming their identity. “Un-supportive” parents could therefore refer to anything—parents who are actually neglectful, or those who refuse to use their children’s preferred pronouns, or even those who do something as banal as not letting their children buy cell phones. Given the muddled inputs, the data are unpersuasive. Elsewhere in the document, the authors disclose that the self-reported suicide-attempt rate didn’t change much between youth who reported living in an a “gender-affirming” home (14 percent) compared to those who lived in a “not gender-affirming” home (20 percent).

Further, a child’s perceptions of “support” may be conditioned by his mental-health history, independent of his trans-identification status. A study by the Family Acceptance Project, for example, concedes that, “Independent of levels of family acceptance, transgender young adults reported lower social support and general health.” This is one weakness of the “minority stress” theory and the associated research, as noted by J. Michael Bailey: it never empirically tests for the possibility that the group in question has greater sensitivity to stressors to begin with, trading on the classic correlation/causation confusion. It is possible, therefore, that youth with more severe psychiatric issues are both more likely to identify as trans and to perceive and report familial situations as unsupportive.

The ACF later asserts that “research consistently shows that when LGBTQI+ youth experience supportive environments and services, they experience the same positive mental health outcomes as other youth.” It cites a Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA) report to justify this claim.

The citations SAMHSA uses to support its view that “access to gender affirmation can reduce gender dysphoria and improve mental and physical health outcomes among transgender and gender diverse people,” however, are two “conceptual framework” papers, not rigorous empirical studies. These documents cannot possibly provide the required evidence. Meantime, so-called social transition—publicly recognizing a trans-identifying child’s chosen identity, a practice the SAMSHA report endorses—has not been shown to be necessary in improving mental health in high-quality research. A 2023 study from the U.K., for example, found “no significant effects of social transition or name change on mental health status.” That finding is corroborated by a new systematic assessment published as part of the final Cass Review, which found no credible evidence that social transition is either helpful or harmful. Other emerging evidence suggests that “social transition” may interfere with the natural resolution of gender dysphoria and greatly increase the chances that a passing phase becomes the basis for lifelong and potentially harmful medical interventions.

The Cass Review alludes to this possibility, emphasizing that social transition is “an active intervention because it may have significant effects on the child or young person in terms of their psychological functioning and longer-term outcomes.” The Review recommends consulting a clinician when deciding whether or how to facilitate social transition for children. The Biden administration’s ACF, in contrast, instructs state recipients to ensure social transition on demand, no clinical input required.

The SAMHSA report—which, as mentioned, also endorses social transition—claims that “[e]xtensive research indicates that even just one supportive adult, such as a family member, teacher, or mental health provider, can have a positive impact on the mental health of youth of diverse sexual orientation and/or gender identity; such support can reduce adverse mental health impacts including suicide.” However, the research SAMHSA cites in support of this claim looked only at acceptance of sexual orientation, not of “gender identity.”

This points to another concern about social transition: the most common outcome of dysphoria is not a transgender identity, but homosexuality. As the DSM-5 observes, among childhood “desisters”—people who once identified as transgender or experienced dysphoria but later revert to identifying as their biological sex or cease having dysphoria—63 percent to 100 percent of natal males and 32 percent to 50 percent of natal females turn out to be gay.

The ACF guidance compares objections to child gender transition with “conversion practices” and claims that multiple professional organizations agree that gender-identity conversion efforts have been “rejected as harmful.” This comparison is spurious, however, and has been addressed by psychologist James Cantor in response to an American Academy of Pediatrics’ policy statement on “gender-affirming care,” which made the same argument. Cantor said that the AAP’s claim about “conversion” practices “struck me as odd because there are no studies of conversion therapy for gender identity. Studies of conversion therapy have been limited to sexual orientation, and, moreover, to the sexual orientation of adults, not to gender identity and not of children in any case.” He added, “it simply makes no sense to refer to externally induced conversion. The majority of children ‘convert’ to cisgender or ‘desist’ from transgender regardless of any attempt to change them.”

The ACF’s rules treat “LGBTQI+” youth as a monolith. They assume that research done on gay and lesbian youth applies seamlessly to youth who identify as transgender. This is a well-known strategy of transgender activism: to exploit the ignorance of well-meaning Americans about the differences between sexual orientation and gender dysphoria.

The finalized rules also fail to address the actual problems in the U.S. foster system. Data on foster-care capacity show a critical shortage of available homes. State foster systems remain generally underfunded, and the average annual turnover rate at U.S. child welfare agencies is almost 30 percent. The ACF could have endeavored to solve these problems.

Instead, the Biden administration seeks to use federal policy to cajole foster families and agencies into affirming a child’s mistaken gender identity, entrenching the idea that failing to do so constitutes abuse. The policy will compound the challenges facing some of the nation’s most vulnerable children.

#Joseph Figliolia #Leor Sapir #gender identity #gender ideology #gender identity ideology #child abuse #gender cult #queer theory #manipulation #emotional blackmail #religion is a mental illness

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violetlunette · 4 months

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So, I did a poll for Silver pairs (twice) and have been meaning to give my own thoughts but started writing essays before I realized; wait a minute, I don’t need to do that. I can just give my basic opinion. I don't need to justify or over explain, so here we go!

Notes:

*Long post

*twst spoilers

*Opinion-based

*Rambles

Silver x Sebek (Silbek) was, voted #1, to the surprise of no one I’m sure.

Personally, Silbek isn’t my cup of tea and I prefer them in a platonic sense. On top of that, I’m not a big fan of childhood friend romance. It just—annoys me intensely and there are very few instances where this trope works for me. (It may because I’ve been exposed to too many Hallmark romances with this trope and in other media.)

There are a few other minor things I don’t like about the ship, but they’re not worth mentioning.

That being said, I can see why others love the pair.

They have enough opposites to be interesting, such as Sebek being loud, emotional, always active, abrasive, and even arrogant at times, while Silver is quiet, stoic, sleeping—through no fault of his own—and humble. Yet both share a lot in common as well:

They place family above all else, are loyal but keep to their morals, and are helpful and kind.

Plus, in the canon, we see how much they love and care for each other. Sebek is always there to pull Silver out of his own head and sort out his insecurities, as seen when Silver worried about his lack of emotion, when the other Diasomnia students weren’t listening, and—more recently—Chapter 7 and the revelation.

They understand each other, make up for one another’s weaknesses, and more. So, while it’s not my personal ship, I’m not surprised it was voted #1 and can admit it deserves its placement.

So, fun fact; when I did the poll the first time, this pair was the winner. I remember that as I was super surprised. And I’m still a bit surprised they’re #2.

Granted, they’re cute, but I assumed the pair would be in third place behind Silver x Sebek and Silver x Idia, as I don’t see much content between the two

That being said, it does surprise me that this puppy pair has so many fans;

They share the same morals and are cute together, plus, they’re friends in Canon. Also, Silver admits that Kalim is someone very dear to him, and Kalim is always saying nice things about the other. As a bonus, Kalim is already favored by the father-in-law.

I see these two as being the type that are in a relationship before they know they’re in a relationship. They're holding hands, eating together, and going on outings. Neither of them realizes what they’re doing until someone points it out. Even then, they’re confused for a while.

The downside is that while their relationship would help each other grow and change, it wouldn’t be one that could last long-term.

Silver’s dream is to serve Malleus in Briar Valley, a place he loves and where the people he loves live. His dream is to foster peace between the fae and humans.

Kalim, on the other hand, has a responsibility to take over as head, and it’s not one he can just toss aside, and I don’t think he wants to either.

When I think of the outcome of their relationship, I think of this Bojack quote: “I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being, and you can be grateful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.”

Silver and Kalim would help each other grow, but they wouldn’t be in each other’s lives forever, at least not as lovers. But in fanfiction, anything could happen. And I would love to see more fanfics of the pair and the challenges they would face.

Third, we have Silver x Idia, a personal favorite of mine. I love the two as individuals and squee whenever I see them together. To me, their interactions are a lot of fun, as I like seeing Idia deal with Silver’s “odd” attitude towards things.

On the surface, the two have nothing in common. Idia is shy, while Silver is bold. Silver is determined to the end, and Idia thinks it’s best to not even try. Idia is a tactician, and Silver is a warrior. Idia was raised around technology, and Silver was raised by nature. Idia is weaker than a kitten, and Silver is strong as heck. (How strong? I have no idea.) The list goes on.

Yet, while they are opposites in several ways, their differences just highlight the good they bring out in each other, or could.

On top of that, the few things they do have in common are pretty strong.

I like that they seem to admire each other. Silver genuinely admires Idia’s skills and isn’t afraid to tell him. He often compliments Idia and offers praise, though he does go overboard, which can make her shy.

For his part, while Silver can be too much at a time, Idia admires Silver’s beauty and skills, comparing him to things he finds cool, like ninjas. Both seem interested in the other, though Idia acts in denial.

Both value family to the point where it’s their main character arc. I love that Ortho likes Silver while Lilia and Idia get along online. The in-laws approve!

They also share a deep sense of insecurity about themselves. Idia thinks he is worthless, to the point where all he can do is hide away, mainly due to a tragic event in the past. Silver believes he’s a burden to those around him, and he does all he can to repay those he has troubled. It would be nice if these two could help one another see their own self-worth.

On top of that, I really believe that of all the Silver pairs, aside from Silbek, these two have the best chance to work out in the long run.

If things go well and Idia can break his family curse, he would be instrumental as Malleus’ tech advisor (probably the first) and could bring Briar Valley into the modern age.

And if he can’t and has to work at STYX, Idia and Silver could still work, as both could maintain a long-distance relationship.

Silver was often left behind as a child, and with technology, they could communicate whenever they wanted and visit when they could. On top of that, both have the temperament needed for a long-distance relationship to work.

The problem is that thanks to Idia’s personality, it would be hard for the two to get together in the first place. (His theme song would be “I won’t say I’m in love” as he sails down the river of De Nile.)

Silver would have to realize his feelings first and do most of the leg work in a way that wouldn’t scare Idia off. (That or Ortho and Lilia would have to play cupid.) Regardless, it would be a very slow burn, but I think once they got together, the two could be happy. And once they were together not even the powers of hell would break them up as both are EXTREMELY stubborn. (Another commonality.)

One problem I do have is that, even if they were together, Silver would most likely be doing most of the emotional labor, as Idia is too self-defeatist to do anything. Luckily, Silver’s pretty low-maintenance, and I'm sure Idia would step up if Silver really needed support.

If I had the time and energy I could write an essay on these two, but for now I’ll just say I really love these two and while they’re not #1 on the poll, they’re #1 for me.

The next is Silver x Malleus. My feelings for this ship are complicated.

I like how their personalities mesh, their shared family history, the drama, and all the works that make a ship memerable. Honesty, two have many, many things I like in a ship. There’s just one HUGE problem that keeps me from loving them: Malleus helped raise Silver.

Malleus was there when Silver was a baby and played an active role in raising him--My brain can’t get past that.

When I try to ignore it, my mind can’t help but slide to, “Shit, is this grooming territory?” (It's not unless the fic has Malleus raising Silver with the intent to have sex with him. Even so, there’s a lot of yikes, you know?) But then again, I overthink things, a lot.

That being said, I still find the pairing entertaining.

For one, it’s an interesting pair to explore human and fae dynamics, as well as the blue and orange morality that comes with it. Like when a vampire falls in love with a human. And again, there’s all the stuff I mentioned before.

I’m also really curious how Lilia would react to the relationship. This something I’ve never seen a Silver x Malleus ship bring up, but they should as Lilia is a HUGE part of both their lives. Isn’t anyone else a bit curious?

I don’t think Lilia would be a supporter of the relationship for multiple reasons, so what would he do? How far would he go to keep the two apart? And how far would the two fight him? (The angst potential, man! THE ANGST!)

In a yandere Malleus setup, would Lilia try to run away from his beloved Prince? Would he take up arms against him to keep Silver safe? Would he be able to do anything? Or would he just be helpless as the dragon he hatched takes away his beloved son forever? It just has a lot of potential story-wise, which I adore.

It’s a nice ship to explore darker themes but If I wanna skip those and just have a cute ship, I just find Aus where Malleus didn’t help raise Silver.

So to conclude this part, while I prefer them in a platonic sense I can’t deny that I have an interest in the stories they could tell.

Silver x Riddle; I never thought of these two, but now that I am, I think the two would be like Silbek without the childhood element. I like that Silver would have no issue standing up to Riddle when he started acting like a tyrant and would stop him before it went too far, yet he would always be there to offer support, especially emotional support, which Riddle desperately needs.

On his side, Riddle could help Silver improve himself, such as in how he presents himself, his studies, and his magic. He may even help Silver overcome his habit of talking down about himself.

I think the romance would be a slow burn due to Silver being oblivious and Riddle being a tsundere in denial who refuses to admit his emotions until they overflow. It could be fun to see Riddle drowning and being jealous of anyone near Silver until Trey and Ace have enough and set the two up.

Other than that, I don’t have too much to say.

SilJade is one I forgot to put on the first poll, but one that I like in casual passing for one-shots. To me, Jade is the bad boy that Silver could end up with. I enjoy how Jade is usually sweet toward Silver in canon. While he has his own reasons, he does nice things for Silver and helps him. I also think it’s cute how Silver’s purity surprises him at times. It’s a cute pair for me and I like to imagine them kissing under toadstools.

A pairing that got a mention but wasn’t on the last poll is Silcarter. I don’t think I’ve seen the two interact too much, but I can see Silver operating as a home to Carter, who never got to settle down in the past, and Carter can help Silver in a social setting like Kalim. It’s also neat to see his energy contrast against Silver’s. Other than that, I don’t think much about the pair.

Next have Silver and Leona. (Sileo?)

While in canon Leona is annoyed by Silver, I like the concept of the two.

Personality-wise, there are opposites, but in a low-key way. The only thing they have in common is that they sleep a lot, and even that’s an opposite between them.

Leona chooses to be lazy. Everyone and their mother sees he’s got talent for practically everything but he chooses not to do anything because he never get the role HE wants, which is to be King of Sunset Savanna. So, he choose to be be lazy and just rest all the time. However, Silver doesn’t have a choice.

Silver tries his best to be active and stay awake, but because of his “blessing” he struggles in all that he does.

I really like the contrast between the two. It’s entertaining to see Silver’s earnest and pure nature against the grumpy cat that is Leona and I think, if allowed to develop, they could have an interesting relationship. I can see Leona constantly being a bit annoyed but gradually coming around and may even try to help the other in subtle ways.

There’s also a possible drama plot where Leona wants to be with Silver, but Silver is devoted to Malleus as a guard, resulting in Leona’s insecurities activating as, once again, he can’t have what he desires because another has it. He can’t be Savana’s king, nor could he be Silver’s king.

Like I’ve said with others, it’s hard for me to explain but I like the potential here.

Tied for last are Silver x Jamil and Silver x Azul. Let’s look at SilJam first.

I love how their personalities contrast and how, despite the fact they’re in similar positions, they feel very differently.

Silver is honored to be Malleus’ guard, while Jamil is resentful that he has to serve Kalim. The difference is simple but major. Silver CHOSE to serve Malleus and Jamil only serves Kalim because of family obligations. It’s a single difference that changes everything for the two.

I think it would be fun to explore the two and their dynamics as they grow from each other.

I REALLY enjoyed during the Halloween arc how they worked together and how, for the first time, someone was interested in Silver and his history. I don’t think anyone other than Idia showed an interest in Silver, though correct me if I’m wrong. And even then, Idia seemed more interested in Silver’s dad than him.

I also enjoyed how Silver respected Jamil’s efforts and how he made sure Jamil got the recognition he deserved in the end. Considering how overlooked Jamil usually feels, this was a sweet moment for me.

Not to mention, it was fun to see how Jamil reacted to Silver’s air-headed moments and how he had to work around Silver’s honest nature, though unlike with Kalim, he didn’t seem too annoyed by it. (Of course, they don’t have the complicated power dynamics between them, so that may be why, but I digress.)

I mean, it’s hard for me to explain how much I enjoyed seeing these two together in the Halloween Event. They show an interest and appreciation for one another, I love how Silver baffles Jamil at times and so on.

And, of course, I see story potential! (Yes, this is a big part of why I pick ships. I can’t help it, I like stories!)

A fanfic plot I like is two versions of the love triangle. (Yes, I like these IF done well.) One is where, at first, Silver likes Kalim, who likes Jamil, who likes Silver. Another is that both Kalim and Jamil like Silver, who’s oblivious. Either way, this feeds into Jamil’s resentments, creating drama that could end a victory for him if Silver chooses him in the end.

That being said, the only way these two could have a future is if Silver leaves Briar Valley, as Jamil wants to travel, see the world, and be free. He doesn’t want to stay in one place.

This pair is one I think of when I want Silver to venture beyond all he knows and see the world. To be something more than a royal guard and expand his horizons.

He could still work for Briar Valley by becoming a diplomat alongside Jamil, so he could still embody Lilia’s teachings and fulfill his dreams for peace, but they would still have to leave the Diasomnia fam.

Now on to Azul x Silver (AzuSil? SilAzu?). This is another pairing I believe has potential.

These two are opposites in EVERY way. One is a pure angel of heaven, and one is Azul of the deep. Silver is strong, honest, kind, and does everything for the benefit of others. Azul is as weak as a guppy, cunning, and manipulative, and he does everything for his own benefit.

However, their interactions did light a spark in my brain and I like the pairing of the “devil” trying to charm an “angel.”

The contrast between the two are intriguing and I’m facinated by the idea of these two coming together to make a couple. I think having someone like Silver in his life would help Azul as he could realize not everyone wants something from him and some genuinely just want to help others.

Not to mention fanfic-wise they work SO many ways;

There’s the redemption arc that Silver could provide for Azul--Beauty and the Beast AU, under the sea edition, anybody? No? Oh, come on—as well yandere Azul when the mood strikes, Lilia vs Azul for Silver, and more.

Though I acknowledge these two would probably never work in canon as there Azul is looking for an intellectual partner, I still have a soft spot for them.

Recently, I was asked about SilRook, so I’ll share my opinion here:

First off, my gutter brain found it interesting that Rook appreciates that Silver can “sleep” anywhere, lol.

In a way, I see some potential for fun between these two and think that Rook would hold a lot of surprises for Silver and would help the latter find things to appreciate about himself. Other than that, it seems like it would mainly be Rook being odd or showering appreciation for Silver and Silver going, “Um, okay?” The main entertainment would be from the "in-laws,” as Lilia and Malleus don’t seem fond of Rook.

Rook would be a fun yandere for a fanfic, but otherwise doesn’t do much for me. Still, there’s fun to be had with the two if a writer’s willing to put in the effort.

Another pair that got a special mention was SilYuu. I didn’t put this on the poll as it’s basically Silver x OC as Yuu can be interpreted many way.

If we go off “canon” Yuu, however, they’re still cute but are definitely a “quiet” pairing. And I mean that figuratively and literally due to the fact neither talks much.

I don’t see them as an out-there, exciting couple, but they don’t need to be. Silver can be Yuu’s shelter from the madness of Twisted Wonderland and a safe-port in the storm. It’s difficult to explain, but when I see these two, I see a very tranquil pair with the feeling of a warm afternoon, napping in the son till the kids and grampa start making noise.

And I think that’s it!

I’m sure some of you noticed that most of these are based on the stories I think they could produce, but I can’t help it. I like stories, so when I look at a pairing I think how well they get on together and what tales can they create together. That’s how my brain works, which is why I’m a fic writer.

I guess it’s cheating as I base my ships on potential and what I THINK they could be rather than what they are, but eh.

Anyway, my personal ranking of all the Silver Ships mentioned here are thus;

Love: Silver x Idia, Jamil x Silver

Really like: Silver x Azul, Silver x Kalim, Silver x Malleus with a huge "it's complicated mark"

Like: Silver x Jade, Silver x Leona, Silver x Riddle, Silver x Canon Yuu

Meh/Don’t care for: Silver x Rook, Silver Carter

Not for me: Silver x Sebek

So, how about all of you? What’s your favorite pairing for Silver, and why? I would especially love to hear why people like Silver x Kalim, as, despite it being voted so high, I don’t see a lot of content for the two, so I don’t know why they’re so popular. Is it really just because they’re both sweet angels? Or do you see something else that you like?

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