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rougerave · 8 months

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"Bruce Wayne can't cook to save his life." That's a load of bullshit. Listen Bruce can cook, he just doesn't have the time for it, and the fact that he hardly passes as functional human being.

You can't tell me that in all his traveling he hasn't picked up something. If he can remember miniature details for a case that was three years ago, he can remember recipes.

Listen other than Alfred, Martha Wayne was the only person who knew how to cook. Martha wasn't going to let her son become like his father it that department. She and Alfred taught Bruce everything from the correct utensils to how to properly spice meat, "BBQ spice is not for chicken Master Bruce, have some class."

That was one thing Alfred and Bruce still kept doing after his parents died, and because of this he becomes an amazing cook.

When he meant Taila, trust and believe that she went Gordon Ramsey on his ass when she taught him how to cook the meals of her homeland (that's when he fell in love with her. I refuse to believe anything else on this matter), and obviously as he traveled he gained more knowledge on different dishes. Most from his masters and some from random old ladies that he came across.

The problem comes when he desides to take over the company and become the cities regular furry problem. He just doesn't have time and this leads to his kids never finding out. They grow up knowing that Alfred cooks. They also don't know that on rare occasion that Bruce is free he would sneek into their apartments and make food that can be frozen and reheated, because just like him, his kids can hardly pass as functional.

And that's how Jason found him, one random Tuesday. There his father was, floating around in a black AC/DC t-shirt, gray slacks, sparkly pink crocs(Dick), Jason's apron (because Jason is the only kid that knows how to cook) and the Rolling Stones playing form a speaker that was definitely Tim's. Bruce only glances at him before speaking, "Go change, wash your hands, then come cut the carrots." then goes to drain the pasta, and because Jason is to stunned to speak he goes without a word.

Jason doesn't bring it up, so Bruce won't bring it up.

One thing he does do every night is make Damian, Duke, Tim and Steph's school lunch. He strongly objects to the idea of his babies eating Gotham Academy/University powder egg shit. No sir.

That's how the family found out. That was funny.

"I once saw you put salt and vinegar Lay's in bread."

"Not my finest moment."

They tell Dick. He laughs in their face until he sees his dad in his kitchen cutting onions without flinching or wiping his eyes.

"You have no soul."

"Yes I don't. Wash your hand and cut that baby marrow."

"But I don't like baby marrow." he complained as he washed his hands.

"I have no soul, right?"

Dick sticks out his tongue, he get whacked by a wooden spoon.

#Bruce the chef #Batfamily shenanigans #Damian tears up #Jason and Bruce cook together as therapy #Bruce Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #Batfam #Batkids #Someone make a AU out of this please #Get threatened by their father who is holding a wooden spoon is scarier than his disappointed voice #Martha Wayne would be proud #Cass found out when he helped her with a case in Hong Kong.#She is very much in love with his food and trust and believe she would brag about it at any point.#Thalia sends recipes to Bruce so he can make them for Damian and Jason

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snakeredbirdbatkatana · 2 months

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Damian's panicking.

It was idiotic the moment he saw Grandfather enter Gotham he should have called Father, or Richard even Todd but instead he went on a one man sucide mission.

He knows that he has nothing to prove he didnt have to track Ra's down egaged him in a fight that he can't win.

Especially when he isn't fighting to kill even back in the league trying his hardest he never measured up, his Grandfather has been and will always be untouchable.

He's down katana lost somewhere down below it's almost fitting another Robin dangling off the top of Wayne enterprises. Pearched at his throat a Katana ready to tear through blade sharpenerd that even with only the slight pressure a drop of blood has already rolled down his neck.

He will die again at the hands of another member of his family he seems immortal until it comes to another Al Ghul.

Tears start to slide down he hears grandfathers cruel laughter at how pathetic his grandson is he closes his eyes he doesn't want to see.

A sharp gasp reaches his ears and than a pained moan.

His eyes snap open.

Ra's Al Ghul stands a blade protruding from his heart that is quickly ripped out as he drops to his knees.

Damian's forces his gaze to move from his grandfathers bleeding corpse to the figure holding the blade.

His brother stands in nothing more than his suit he can't help the relieved sob as he pulls himself further away from the edge and throws himself into Tim's waiting arms.

"How did you find me, how did you get here so fast," he forces out through the sobs that's are starting to hurt his chest.

Tim pulls away enough to force Damian's head to gaze up.

"Oh sweetheart, Dami your literally on top of my building, Nevermind that kiddo I'll always find you."

He collapses back into his brothers arms burrowing as far as he can into his chest he doesn't have the energy to do much else other than cling.

He feels Tim shift him so he's carrying Damian as the adrenaline runs out. He doesn't try to fight sleep as he dozes off feeling safer than he ever has with the brother who saved him.

His brother who must have run from whatever meeting he was in without any armor to rescue his little brother. He wasn't saved by Red Robin but by Tim Drake and for once he can't imagine how he ever wished for a different one.

#tim drake #batfamily #bamf tim drake #Imagine Tim looks out his window and sees a dangling Robin and than boy is booking it. The flash doesn't got shit on how fast Tim was #fucking running #Jason is also booking it to Wayne enterprises along with Bruce and Dick everyone is literally running for their lives to get to Damian #Bruce isn't even mad at the corpse well he is a little bit Dick looks two seconds away from ripping his throat out so he is shuting up.#Damian is soooooo getting lectured #also Tim will be chipping his ass #damian wayne #dami loves his brothers #tim drake is a menace #Dami wakes up to all his big brothers gone because they are tearing apart the entire league with their bare hands #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batfam #bamf batfamily

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elipri · 1 year

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Imagine the following: Damian knows that Anya can read minds and one day he decides to be nice and only think of kind things about her....except that it's the new moon so naturally Anya wouldn't notice.

He'd spend the whole day giving her compliments in his mind, getting all flustered in the process AND will assume that Anya is ignoring him on purpose cause she's mad at him 😭

#spy x family #sxf #damianya #I should draw this later #Am on the train rn #I have also thought of much angstier scenarios involving the esper reveal to Damian #And made myself tear up on the bus #i like them a normal amount

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shewhowillrise · 3 months

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AU where Bruce is dead, Jason is Batman, and Tim becomes his Robin. Joker kidnaps Tim and makes him Joker Junior and after Tim kills Joker, before sumcombing to his injuries of the torture.Jason vows no more partners. No More Robins.

Then gets transported to a Good Dad Fanon Bruce and Batfam universe (where Jason has stayed dead) He’s always avoiding Tim. He’s hanging out with Dick and Damian and Duke and Steph, but when Tim shows up, he clams up.

Tim confronts him, Jason breaks down. Because if he got used to having Tim around, inevitably when he gets back to his home universe, he’s going to feel the loss all over again.

There is no Damian or Duke in his universe to miss. Dick is still swinging on ropes with his parents, and Steph is a normal college girl.

All Jason sees when he looks at this Tim, is what he failed to save.

#Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Batfam #NO TIMJAY PLS #I’m always seeing Damian and Jay or Dick and Jay having brotherly emotional fics #give me a Tim and Jay one #where Tim gets to meet his favorite Robin #sure a different universe robin but it’s still Jason!!#only to be ignored at every turn #to be given the cold shoulder #and thinks he did something wrong #when all he’s done is try his best to help this Jason #and just the emotional outlash to Jason about ignoring him #only to get tears in return #‘I can’t get used to you because if I do #the moment I go back I will have to face the fact I failed you all over again’#he knows of steph bc of cluemaster and keeping tabs on his family #duke might show up in this jason's life later but w/o joker he lives w hids parents still

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tmmyhug · 6 months

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batman canonically has a belt pouch with lollipops so i think stealing from the lollipop pouch is a time honored robin tradition

#it starts with dick who knows abt it because batman implements it when they run into kids on patrol #and dick tells jason abt it #jason doesn’t believe him until he decides to look for himself #and after that he takes them constantly #tim gets one from batman when he’s still a kid following them around with a camera and batman sends him home #hes takes full advatange when he’s robin #but he’s not the one to tell damian. dick is #jason keeps doing it after coming back as red hood. he pretends it’s out of spite but really he just likes the lollipops and annoying batman #bruce is not annoyed. he tears up when jason does it actually. but he pretends he is annoyed so jason keeps doing it #the rituals. they are intricate #vees train of thought #batstuff

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luffyluvrs · 7 months

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my god he's so freaking cute

#damian wayne #maya ducard #dc robin #robin: son of batman #dc #now reading #they are besties who else teared up...#he's just a baby :')#mine

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not-another-robin · 8 months

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I genuinely think Damian would be a kpop girlie. Like that's not the only thing he likes, but he's into it. He has a secret Twitter where he gets in long arguments over which girl is best (he prefers girl groups, but he likes some of the boys too). He makes edits. If anyone found out about this he'd spontaneously combust. I don't know much kpop so I can't do an example but kpop girlies tell me what group he'd stan

#he DOES go to their concerts sometimes #'i need the bat plane' 'for what' 'an emergency'#/smash cut to damian tearing it up with one of those light sticks #narscreaming

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birthofvcnus · 8 months

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damian 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

#i teared up pls i love my son SO much #damian wayne #duke thomas #robin #the signal #signal #dc #batman #batman wayne family adventures #batman: wayne family adventures #batman wfa

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cerealboxlore · 1 year

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Billy Batson and the Supersons

so. I'm burning out like crispy bacon rn.

But hear me out

Magic is going haywire all over the world and the Justice League has to intervene. Unfortunately, Captain Marvel isn't anywhere to be found, bc apparently he's gone missing/M.I.A. One thing leads to another the the Justice League comes to the idea that whatever happened is powered by something in Fawcett city, where Captain Marvel went missing. Investigations and whatnot begin.

The Supersons tagged along for whatever reason, idk, maybe they snuck their way there bc they wanted to prove themselves or didn't want to be left out. When the two are investigating a strange and abandoned subway station for clues that just had a tiger pop out of it, they are met with a homeless kid in a red hoodie, who doesn't look too accepting of other people being there. Billy at this point in time has not met the super sons yet, thus, their first meeting being...chaotic

Despite Jon and Damian obviously being prepared and powerful, Billy doesn't care and doesn't believe that they are superhero's kids (Jon and Damian are in civies clothes), thinking they're trouble makers and getting in the way of his magical issues rn (like not being able to become Captain Marvel)

This leads to an interesting team up where the super sons have found someone who knows more than they are telling, and work together behind the League's back to find the truth. And maybe become friends along the way

#billy batson #dc captain marvel #super sons #damian wayne #jon kent #justice league #dc comics #writing ideas #fic ideas #aaaaaa #Bruce: Damian who is this kid with you?#Damian: Uhh....a new friend.#Bruce *tearing up as a proud dad*: My son is finally making friends #Maybe I'll write this

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timbourinedrake · 5 months

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Watching Merry little Batman why is Damian so baby I WILL cry

#I am sick and about to start my period seeing 8 y/o Damian grow up in a safe n happy environment #WILL push me to tears #haven't finished watching yet its currently on some home alone type hijinks #LMAO DAMIAN JUST TORCHED THESE MFS #damian wayne

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amagicancan · 6 months

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Ik DAMN WELL those batdam members have chronic pain there’s no way you go out almost everyday fighting basically a war on minimal hours of sleep and only have light wear and tear to show for it, must hurt incredibly

#i could neverr (even tho child me and me me think it’s epic)#i have 1 pulled ligament 1 (!) and it acts up like crazy sometimess #just laying there with the same pain o had when it was recovering and it has me like:0 #now having countless tears’ sprains’ pulls’ breaks’ stabs’ bullet wounds’ bruises #and anything else you can think of? DAMNN must hurt like crazy’ ik their bones/old injuries hurt on cold winter days #dc #batman #batfam #should i tag everyone id like to #dick grayson #tim drake #bruce wayne #duke thomas #damian wayne #barabra gordon #jason todd #cassandra cain #there’s so many #dami.speaks<3

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little-pondhead · 1 year

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DC Prompt:

Modern-day Batfam member (take your pick) gets swapped with their alternative self from The Adventures of Batman (1968) or one of the earlier comics. Everyone has to deal with the modern!Bat in the cartoon world, and the cartoon!Bat has to deal with the modern world.

———

Cartoon!Robin: Gee, Batman! We’re in a real pickle here! *proceeds to body a man with a comically large hammer*

Modern!Batman: I’m sure I can work with this. Damian, don’t stab your brother, you’re the older one now.

———

Modern!Nightwing: Old man, I love you, but sometimes violence is the answer. *proceeds to commit several war crimes that haven’t been invented yet*

Cartoon!Batman: what the f u c k

———

It’s important to note I know absolutely nothing about this particular show or the earlier comics, I just thought it’d be really funny to see cartoon!Dick or someone else use cartoon logic on modern-day Gotham rogues.

#pondhead blurbs #dc #batman #robin #batman and robin #cartoon!Robin runs on cartoon logic and Tim is tearing his hair out trying to figure out the physics behind it #cartoon!batman is having a mental breakdown because now he knows his little boy is somehow even MORE violent #and just as cheery #Alfred come pick him up he’s scared #cartoon!batman is very stressed about how many kids his alternate self has #cartoon!Robin is delighted to find out how many siblings he now has #he’s still Damian’s favorite somehow #modern!Nightwing solves every cold case in GCPD’s archives within a week and demands Bruce takes a break

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eir-trixa · 11 months

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Someone should really pay for the mental damages Becky gets from this friend group

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pinkhysteria · 1 year

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jonathan saying he has 4 page letter (aaliyah) on his dame playlist???

#creed 3 #what animes did mbj have him studying...#that's soooo insane sorry i'll be normal tho.#the abandonment issues were tearing his ass up for sure tho ik that much!#jonathan majors #damian anderson

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thedrunknextdoor · 2 years

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chilling quietly and then remembering all the trauma the batfam has

#it actually makes me tear up if i think too hard about it lmaooo #batman #batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #‘theyre just lines girl’ and YET

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 1 year

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mostly I choose to blatantly ignore most plot points that happened while Bruce was lost in time but occasionally I get the whim to write something that actually reworks some of it in a way that 1) is actually in character and 2) is flagrantly self-indulgent

#like... I want to write the cass and tim grief buddies interlude #i want to figure out dickie trying so hard to keep his family together that he accidentally tears it apart instead #i want to write the passive-aggressive timberly making a truce with equally malcontent damian #on the basis of ''brothers amiright?''#i want to write the extremely specific gun scene i have such a vivid mental image of #but also. do i really want to put in the effort to sort through all that crap? nah not really #not enough to actually *do it*#so all this just lives in my head #i DO have a lot of meta about dick and ''i was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere'' during this arc #which is to say he's trying so hard to help everyone as much as he can and hold what's left of the family together #that he ends up screwing things up even more bc it's Too Much for him to handle alone #but he thinks he has to. and he's trying not to choose between his siblings but he ends up doing it anyway #and hurting everyone including himself in the process #bc when under pressure people can make some horrible choices thinking they're the right ones #trust me i have thought EXTENSIVELY about this #Lu rambles #delete later probably

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